#//he doesn't like stagnation and wants to move forward always

[strawberry-barista]

What tarot card are you?

The Devil Restriction is not so terrible a thing as you think it is. One must not always be shackled to be prudent. You could use a set of handcuffs in your life, my love. Shall I forge them for you? We could be tied together, you and I. Maybe then you would not want for so many things. Maybe if you were drip fed what you wanted, you would only focus on the next drip, instead of the wide world of things there are to want. You consume what you love, you terrify the things you want. You have chewed your way through your life and you are still hungry. The old woman holds out a key. The iron around your wrist is so very heavy.

[magicpotatoobsession]

Hi! You convey your thoughts so well that I wanted to ask you: what do you think about (chapter 48 summary spoilers because I don’t know if you’ve read it from Keru!!!) Ugetsu trying to help Mafuyu reconnect with Ue/music at syh’s show? At first Ugetsu’s energetic mission to get him there felt out of character for me, but I think it’s going to read differently seeing Ugetsu having moved on and moved forward with his life in growing outside of his own codependent relationship with Kaji.

Hello! Thank you for being patient, I am back! I personally think that mix_18/chapter 48 was done ✨~SUPERBLY~✨. @morievna captures it pretty perfectly in her meta on Mix 18. I believe that Ugetsu was very much in character and he is, as you said, displaying some differences due to his growth as a character.

GIVEN | Ugetsu 1.0 and 2.0 similarities and differences

Remember, Ugetsu and Mafuyu are 🎶MUSICAL MIRRORS 🎶  because they both use music as an outlet to express, understand their own AND other people's emotions. Ugetsu therefore knows that Mafuyu NEEDS to attend the SYH concert in order to know how he is feeling.

Ugetsu and Mafuyu's mentorship is mostly Ugetsu taking the lead to drive Mafuyu to confront music. So Ugetsu has always been quite energetic when it comes to talking to Mafuyu.

Code_16 Ugetsu 1.0

Mix_17/Chapter 47 Ugetsu 2.0 👇

However, the energetic attitude back then was laced with criticism and a bitter pain. His liveliness was lined with a sense of falsehood. We see that in Code_16/Chapter 16, Ugetsu 1.0 who organised the Tchaikovsky tickets for Mafuyu and Akihiko. However Ugetsu liked inspiring by showing Mafuyu how cool he was at the violin concert, he was hoping for Mafuyu to also join the "lonely genius bubble" club, to become like himself, to rely solely on music to process trauma and communicate with others to avoid difficult conversations.

Mafuyu doesn't want to turn out like Ugetsu 1.0. And just like you said, having moved on and moved forward with his life in growing outside of his own codependent relationship with Kaji, Ugetsu 2.0 here realises that this

1. stagnation of feeling he has to choose between Akihiko and music 2. never properly communicated with Akihiko on how the other party was feeling

that led to their toxic relationship. Ugetsu smiles knowing that Mafuyu doesn't quite understand that yet. Then Ugetsu says,

"Either way, there is no going back for me."

and later on

"Didn't you pretty much neglect factoring what the other party thinks about this?

Ugetsu is hoping that Mafuyu will learn in his own time that being in shutdown and avoid the other party will ultimately make Mafuyu end up like him. So it's not too late for Mafuyu and Uenoyama!

What Ugetsu 2.0 does differently is rather than showing off or critiquing, he tells Mafuyu:

how he is not great and still working on building his human relationships and taking care of himself

how he has no idea what the future holds, maybe he'll be in NY longterm, he doesn't know

shows vulnerability but is being a realist that he can't go back in time to change things with Akihiko.

What he demonstrates here is the imperfect humanness of being a professional musician. Professional musicians don't have certainty and don't have it all together. He is telling Mafuyu that uncertainty about life is perfectly normal. Ugetsu also knows that Mafuyu, just like himself, connect with others best through music. So if Mafuyu wants to figure his feelings and connect with Ue, he NEEDS to go to the concert. But Mafuyu is putting too much pressure on this event to give him complete clarity. Pre-debut and post-debut is still full on uncertainty. So why not just "learn more about it?" Why not just listen?

I find it so funny that Mafuyu says "did you even hear me" because Ugetsu has been the best listener and actively doing something to help him. Ugetsu is still musically driving Mafuyu to confront music like before. However, he doesn't place himself on a pedestal for Mafuyu, or let Mafuyu process music on his own (like in CODE 17)

or feed into the unhealthy mindset of the "lonely genius".

He holds Mafuyu's hand to face the music together.

Just a sidenote but I LOVE that even though Ugetsu is running and leading Mafuyu, look at how gently he holds Mafuyu's wrist. 🥺 It's like he is holding a new violin bow, understanding how delicate Mafuyu's temperament is right now 😭😭😭

Also observe how tenderly and genuinely Ugetsu smiles now compared to before. It's now grounded in wisdom and self-reflection. Kudos Ugetsu 2.0 also being able to listen to Mafuyu talk about his issues while before, he tended to emotionally dump on Mafuyu about his own issues.

Of course what I love is that the crowd then separates the two and and Mafuyu is pushed further to the front. Ugetsu reassures Mafuyu that he is strong enough as an individual to face Uenoyama, paralleling the "It's okay" in Code_27 where Mafuyu first said to him that he is strong enough as an individual to face a life without Akihiko.

To summarise, Ugetsu in my opinion was very much in character and displayed tremendous growth. We can all learn from Ugetsu:

Face changes in life with vigour and keep facing it despite feeling scared, uncertain and unclear. Change is just a fact of life. Avoidance, rumination and stagnation makes things worse.

---

If you like what you read, all I post is basically Given analysis content!

Masterlist of my Given Metas

[adeyc]

Ciel (O!Ciel) quotes

No one asked me, but I don't care. I got back into my obsession with Black Butler so I decided to rate some quotes (spoiler: many of them are my favorites even if I sometimes I don’t say so, this show/manga is brilliant).

1. "After all, justice in this world is just a bunch of principles, made by those with power to suit themselves."

-12/10

-kinda true, unfortunately, even nowadays

-shows how Ciel sees the whole system, especially the legal one and his vision of society

-reminds us of the huge differences between people

- great, one of my favorite quotes

2. "I have long forgotten how to laugh as if I were having fun."

-8.5/10

-so sad

- shows the distress and sadness he went through and is still going through and how much what he went through affected him

-feel sorry for him (he would probably beat me if he knew that, but it doesn't matter lol)

3. "So what? You're another person, so of course you look different. What do you need to be ashamed for? Besides, I'm free to be with whoever I want. No one has the right to say anything about it."

- 9/10

- we love someone who doesn't discriminate

- he hates everyone equally <3

- I think it is one of the few times when he encourages someone and I love it

- I like that he knows he can do whatever he wants

4. "If you stick to a "lie", it'll eventually become the "truth.""

- 9/10

- it shows his character and the more human side, in the sense that every man lies and he is not above that

- shows how gullible some people can be

5. "I was born to end up alone."

-9.5/10

- so sad yet so true

-he accepts his fate

6. "Moping around with sadness and sorrow... what will come of it? Even dead people can do that. However, I'll live and stand on my own two legs. If we are going to die one day, wouldn't t it be better to have no regrets?"

-10/10

- a powerful quote that shows his strength of character and his desire to achieve revenge

-tough love kinda deal

- it can be seen that it is said by someone with determination and who has been through a lot

7. "Unfortunately, in reality there is no situation where one can win merely by following the rules. There will be knights that break the rules, and even chess pieces that betray him."

-9.5/10

- once again a spoken truth

- shows how aware he is of the world around him

8. "Only two kinds of people exist in this world, those who steal and those who are stolen from. So then, today, I just stole your future. That's all."

-100/10

-one of my favorites

-unfortunately, he knows what it's like to be in both positions

-tragic

9. "Pain tends to heal as time passes, but personally, I don't want time to heal my wounds. You may think you've escaped the pain and forgotten it, but that's nothing more than stagnation. You can't move forward without the pain."

-9/10

- shows the pain he still carries and that, no matter how hard he tries, the past will always follow him

- the last sentence, in particular, is devastating. Only pain keeps him alive and helps him move forward

10. "I am not so noble that I would stake my life for someone else. Nor am I so forgiving that I would sit by and allow someone to trample me. I am selfish... and self righteous human being! That's why! I... to clear my own shame... I used your power. Not for anyone else! But for myself!"

-10/10

-we love a self-aware king

- something that many of us would not recognize

11. "We mock their desperate wishes, and trample them like insects! Cowardly, base - we're more demonic than demons are! I'm just like them. I'm full of the same ugliness they were. This is how humans it's how we are, Sebastian!"

-10/10

- downright heartbreaking

- the situation in which he said it makes it even more tragic

12. "Words are cheap. There's no guarantee she won't tell anyone. Humans lie without a second thought. Including me, of course."

-8.95/10

- shows how well he knows human nature

- we love him for it tho

13. "To hate something that you used to love is such a painful feeling."

-10/10

- shows the tragedy of the character

- relatable

14. "Is there truly any human who is not arrogant?"

-20/10

- simple and yet sophisticated and true

-once again self aware king

- something that many will not admit

15. "I'm afraid when something is truly lost, one can never get it back again."

-1000/10

- one of my favs

- so sad considering that he lost everything and knows that he will never get it back

- and yet he has the proud strength to go forward regardless of the situation and not look back

- out of loss our Earl was born

I'm stopping here because if I keep going I'll be here for hours lol. I got this off my chest now....for a moment at least. Anyway, Black Butler is my number 1 and will always occupy a special place in my heart.

Bye!

[mareenavee]

Since reciprocity is a dish best served cold, a counter-ask to you, in the shape of a hypothetical. What would it look like, were you to write a sequel or a side-story with Athis as the focus, if the universe gave him not necessarily what he wants, but rather what he needs. Is there a happy future for him in some alternative timeline? Does that happy future always involve Nyenna, and therefore is unachievable by definition? More broadly, what would it involve for him to grow and come into his own as a character? What might his happily ever after (or happy-for-now) look like?

<3 Thank you for this one, my friend. I love this question so much. I have a few hypotheticals I've worked with because I love these what-if sorts of questions.

I think, in his sort of ideal world, it would have been best if he met Nyenna, but she hadn't been called to be the LDB. But there are facets to that, I think, and so I think I will ramble a bit and then get to a snippet of a fragment below.

I think he really does deep down love at least the idea of Nyenna and maybe could see a little bit of who she could be underneath everything, even before she knows herself. Yes, they were a bit of a whirlwind, but such is the nature of youth, right? But it's not like they lack redeeming qualities. It's just that destiny sort of pulls out different threads and causes different fear to settle in than a normal npc routine might.

If Nyenna did not have to carry the burden of this, then it's possible she could have been happy in her life with Athis, though not probable. I think she has a sort of deep restlessness, and I don't know exactly if she'd really be the settling type no matter what occurred. That said, maybe it's possible that for Athis, as much as he loves her, Nyenna probably would bring about a sort of sadness in any version of his story.

So yeah, as much as he'd love to still stay with her I think that timeline, no matter what it looks like, would be rather doomed and by definition unachievable.

In my sort of ideal world for Athis, I think he'd stop trying to seek validation outside of himself. It doesn't mean that he can't fall in love or seek out a relationship and a normal sort of life, but he's sort of accepted what he perceives his lot in life to be by the time Nyenna comes along. There's a bit of a stagnation -- or a stasis, if you will -- and it's only a temporary shift in this timeline when she arrives, a faux-change, which leads back to him staying put as she moves forward.

Ideally, he wouldn't just so easily accept that he isn't exceptional, too. And wouldn't have even before Nyenna. He has the potential and the skill, if he put his mind to anything at all, to accomplish more. So in a better timeline, he'd be less reliant, as I mentioned, on outside validation. He'd give himself goals instead of prioritizing normalcy. Not that working for the Companions isn't honorable or a noble cause, but we assume he's been same-level, same-title there for a while, not really exceptional even within the organization, and seems fine with that.

But what if he actually was heroic in the way he believes he should be compared to Nyenna?

A fragment, if you will, from ideas for the sequel of World:

Athis stared into his empty mug and pushed the dregs of his food around in his bowl with the edge of his spoon. Farkas was busy braiding grass, having wolfed down his dinner in four or five seconds flat, per usual. They were camped not far from Riften. Bugs darted over the river, and bats screeched overhead. Only the very edges of sunlight remained on the horizon as night faded toward them. It'd been a long trip. Every step from Whiterun was a burden, in all honesty, but each day was getting easier. He'd stayed in one place for far too long, anyway. Athis set down his dishes near the fire. He glanced down at his hands and cracked his knuckles, wondering briefly how long it would take the stark, pale band on his ring finger to return to normal. He wasn't fond of this particular reminder. He was tired, really. He'd never realized just how exhausting it had been to carry around all this worry. It wouldn't leave, of course, in the span of a week. Love didn't just disappear, no matter how much he wished it would. But this attempt at moving on, he supposed, was the next best thing. To leave it all behind and start again was a little daunting. He'd done it before, though. At least this time he wasn't running from anything. That was a bit of a relief, though he knew things could have been handled a bit more...proper. He still hadn't decided if he was the petty one in this situation or not. It didn't matter. Best to just close that book, really. "So," Farkas said, interrupting his thoughts, "are you going to mope around like this when we get to Fort Dawnguard, too?" Athis snorted to himself as Farkas held up a tiny basket he'd managed to make out of fidgeting with the grass. His friend grinned, then tossed the thing right over his shoulder and started another attempt. "Yes. I'm owed that, I think," he scoffed. "I don't think 'happy-go-lucky' and 'vampire hunter' belong in the same sentence, anyhow. It'll be fine." He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll be fine." Farkas scrutinized Athis for a moment. Thoughts always seemed to dance right across the man's face, even before he spoke them. Athis knew he was trying to formulate the right thing to say; it was like he just wanted his friend to be okay, but knew it wasn't that simple. And Vilkas wasn't here to finish his sentences when he would inevitably trip over his words. Both of them had a lot to adjust to on this part of the journey. "Think of it like this," Farkas started. He paused and tapped the edge of his fist against his forehead. Athis snorted. Farkas grinned, but squeezed his eyes closed. "We'll be founding members of a new guild, kinda, right? And I know how much you hate vampires. It'll be fun to bring a bunch of 'em down. You won't have to think about, well, all of this. We'll be too busy." Optimistic, really. Athis did appreciate it, though. He looked over at his friend and managed a half-smile. "That's the idea, Farkas," he said. Farkas nodded and grinned widely and returned to his task. "I miss Nyenna, too, though," Farkas said after a moment. "A lot, actually." He pulled a long piece of grass taught and carefully braided together another ridiculously tiny row. "I'm sorry it all fell apart like this. It wasn't fair. But I'm with you, whatever you want to do." Athis looked at his friend who pointedly did not look back up from his work. This time it was the right thing to say. He felt marginally better. Maybe just halfway not as alone as before. He sighed again. "No turning back now, I suppose," he said with a shrug. "We'll be at the fort in no time at all."

So ideally, I hope, for Athis, from here that he can remember how strong he can be and had always been on his own. That he understands he is capable of whatever he puts his mind to. And none of it has to be in relation to who he was to someone else. (In this case, a hero and then a husband to Nyenna.) That his worth is not tied to titles or this other person. That he can make a difference with his own two hands. That he doesn't actually have to live in anyone's shadow. That he is and always was enough.

[knightofhylia]

Drained Battery reading with deck Puka

I spun the wheel and asked Puka what he would like to talk about before since it's been forever and a day since I last did a reading with him. He chose 'Drained Battery'!

What is draining my energy?

Two of Peppermills (Wands)

A a man set apart, courage and contemplation. Unappreciated riches and achievement.

How to Recharge?

Reverse Knight of Flamingoes (Swords)

Rushing into danger, dispute over a person of the opposite sex, physical, mental, spiritual incapacity

How to prevent future burnout?

8 of Oysters (Coins)

Artistry, Quickness of thought, Talent, working on a craft

Motivation

Reverse Ace of Oysters (Coins)

Money without Happiness, corruption and greed, becoming a scrooge

Shadow

Reverse Knight of Oysters (Coins)

Complacency, Stagnation, refusal to move forward therefore going backwards

Interpretation:

Ok buckle in. Something you need to understand about this deck is that it WORKS like Wonderland. Everything is what it isn't, and what it isn't, it is. Puka has told me before that Reverse doesn't always mean reverse, and a lot of times it's up to ME to decide if it should be reversed or not. Everything is a metaphor, everything is symbolism, unless it's not. It's a test, a riddle, a poem. So let me break this down .

What is draining my energy? well I'm too focused on crushing on a boy to really do much else T^T. 'A man set apart' being the man I'm interested in. The two Wands before him are his choices as he is interested in someone else. They represent my choices to Pursue or Fall back. 'Unappreciated achievement' definitely rings true because I feel as if every attempt to get closer to him fails, even though in reality everything is fine, I'm not seeing how far we have already come.

How to recharge? This being reversed may seem scary, but you see the White Knight doesn't not think different whether he is upright or reverse. Some of his 'best' ideas come when he is upside down. Even when the ideas fail, he still has the passion to try again and improve. AKA, Stop worrying about this girl he's into. 'Dispute over opposite sex' I think frames that pretty well.

how to prevent future burnout? Make art about it. work on something. anything besides literally plucking petals off of flowers hoping for a answer. if I'm heartbroken then make heartbroken art.

Motivation? Stop feeling like every time you spend money on yourself or for a craft is a waste. People like the gifts you make/give even if they aren't perfect. Recently have spent a lot of money on plants lol so this is at least comforting.

Shadow

The Red Knight and White Knight are rivals, fighting over alice. One wants to save her, the other wants to imprison her. Refusal to move forward, stagnation, complacent. I gotta start bossin' up and putting my sword in the ring I guess if I want to have any chance at this guy.

Interested in a reading with this deck? Check out the link HERE for booking information and more decks! More readings under the 'readingskh' tag!

[sizhui]

if someone else asks u about rei can u use this opportunity to talk about shunazu

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH I JUST TALKED ABOUT REI SO. SHUNAZU TIME. this is gonna be another older post slightly revamped but HERE WE GO.

SONG OF THE GARBAGE DUMP - an analysis of shunazu from both sides

the forgotten nazuna side:

No good at talking, no good at sports, average even when he tries his best... in everything except "cuteness". And being praised for his looks leaves him feeling not angry, not sad... just empty. Nito Nazuna introduces himself before he met Itsuki Shu as an unsatisfied, stagnated person who yearns to be liked, yearns for a "perfect life" - and that perfect life quite literally lands into his rms when a boy jumps from the window for him, calling him humanity's greatest work of art. For the first time ever, Nazuna feels something at the praise he receives. He, who wasn't good at anything, doesn't even need to do anything special to be the center of somebody's universe - he only needs to put his life into that person's hands and dance as he was told to, and they would live in their perfect little orderly world. Right?

And yet, Nazuna is unsatisfied. "Stagnation" is a major and very interesting theme in Valkyrie stories. The beating of my heart has stopped as wel. Ah, and yet it doesn't hurt at all! I don't feel anything - nothing at all! says Nazuna in a very metaphorical nightmare in the beginning of Human Comedy (in which ex-Valkyrie phsyically turn into dolls and in which Shu is, interestingly, way meaner and more frightening to Nazuna than he's ever bean in reality, but that's a whole other load of issues to unpack.) Stagnation in Valkyrie is always painless - even Mika speaks of being a doll as "painless salvation" in his solo - it's moving forward that's painful. It's HUMANITY that hurts. Nazuna wants to move forward from his stagnation. Shu is terrified of it. The discord between them is symbolically portrayed through Nazuna's voice changing, and Shu's dissatisfaction with it - Nazuna wants to grow up, but Shu wants to keep playing house forever. This is the moment where Nazuna begins to see Shu as the stagnated one rather than himself, and the distance between them starts growing. This is very nicely portraced through a metaphor in Human Comedy: Nazuna says something along the lines of, "I went to church not to hear the word of God, but to get cookies. But eventually the cookies became too sweet for me, so I stopped going." The church is his relationship in Shu, which he indulges in to get the praise he yarns for, to get that feeling of being someone aand something. Eventually, though, the relationship turns "too sweet" for him (we have the same metaphor with Ritmao in Band Ensemble LOL.) But Nazuna isn't entirely selfish. He still likes Shu in a way, he might even love him like he said in the spur of the moment a year later in Star Festival, so he sticks around until....

Until Shu is trampled over by Eichi, which leads us to the titular sub story, Song of the Garbage Dump.

Song of the Garbage Dump shows us Shu in the state of a complee breakdown, unable to even communicate. And in that state, Nazuna has not only left him, but also urges Mika to leave him as well: Even if you're with Itsuki, you won't get anything more from it. Even you've realized it, haven't you? Itsuki - our Oshi-san - he's become useless. Nazuna finally reveals how superficial his relationship with Shu was to him. He finally identified SHU as the source of his stagnation, and discarded him at the lowest point of his life - which is something people always, always seem to ignore.

In conclusion, Nazuna was a marionette, yes, but rather than by Shu, he was puppeteered around by his own feelings of inferority. He will eventually grow out of it through his relationship with Ra*bits (my mutual @jimenyan knows a lot about this) but what matters rn is that he'd never been a passive participant in his relationship with Shu, despite the way he physically acts passively - his desires were the driving force of it, and especially its breakup.

the misunderstood Shu side:

I shan't explain the entire relationship from Shu's perspective again, but I will address the two most important thhings: what does humanity mean to Shu, and what do dolls mean to Shu?

While it's never explicitly stated that Shu's family and peers severely abused him in childhood, his flashbacks, his disorder, the way he speaks about his mother and, above all, his dirtied view of humanity... it's more than suggested. While talking to Mika, Shu explains humanity like this: the impulse to hurt and kill a loved one against all reason. He even tells Mika to kill him in order to invoke feelings of Humanity in him. On the other hand, dolls are his saviors. Much like how he's grown to associate his abuse with the concept of himanity, Shu associates everything pure and good with the image of dolls (as well as children, perhaps for resembling dolls, perhaps because it reminds him of a time when he was more innocent. Certain writers like to make creep jokes about it, but I don't believe Shu is genuinely a creep in this area.) Dolls will not hurt him, nor will they feel pain - which is exaclty why he's stuck in a state of painless salvation. When he sought to turn the people he loves, Nazuna and later Mika, into dolls, he didn't seek to control them, but to absolve them of the filth of humanity. He never sought to become a doll himself, but to save others from the hurt he'd already experienced. Was it healthy? Of course not. But was it selfish?

CONCLUSION: in the end, Shu and Nazuna were both messed up and immature ex-catholic boys who tried really hard to be gay, and failed at it supremely.

[lenievi]

TOS-tober day 3 (triumvirate prompts)

Favourite Star Trek headcanon?

Since this seems to be asking for something more general...

People go to space because they feel like they would keep stagnating on Earth. They want adventure and exploration. Not everyone joins Starfleet, though, because Starfleet and its rules and mechanization isn't for everyone, especially those who are more creatively inclined and need their freedom.

While Earth itself is considered a paradise, Earth colonies aren't. They're extremely dependent on Starfleet, and Starfleet doesn't always manage to provide help in time. Many people who live on these colonies don't see Starfleet officers favourably.

Kirk joined Starfleet because he can't stay in one place for too long. Earth isn't a place where he'd ever be happy. He needs challenges and he feels like he needs to struggle in order to move forward. He's not meant for paradise.

McCoy runs away from his past and toward a need for a challenge. At 26, he already developed a surgical procedure for the brain; he needs to be faced with the unknown and impossible to feel challenged and move forward.

Spock, as someone who doesn't feel he belongs anywhere, just tries to fit in among others who don't actually belong anywhere either. He ran from his homeworld and culture, but in truth, he ran and kept running from himself.

[prompts]

[knoxs2nd]

kanon/jessica and will/lion are narrative foils, because jessica and will are kanon and lion's supports when they're at their lowest and can't see a way out of their unhappy ending on their own. however, their journeys are the opposite of each other.

will & lion meet as two people who have their own thing going on, who come together due to external circumstances but hit it off anyway. however, their role in each other's lives is understood to be a temporary thing that lasts the length of beatrice's funeral

the "happy ending" that ep7 leaves off on after clair's death is that will and lion go their separate ways. will has fulfilled his purpose in putting clair to rest, and lion is resolved to live and search for happiness in beatrice's honor.

lion doesn't know exactly what that happiness looks like, but they look forward to the unknown and how they can live a full life, with all their strength. life is full of endless possibilities...

it's only when lion starts falling into despair that will comes back: he specifically comes back and needs to be there because he understands lion's circumstances and also has a personal investment on wanting lion to be happy and not fall into despair.

it's for lion's sake that will's there, but it's also more than just lion. will's own beliefs guide him - he hates unhappy endings! he believes that there's a happy ending, but they have to fight for it. he can't let lion just give up, because that guarantees tragedy/suffering.

so he resolves to help lion find a happy ending. not the fullest or best ending lion can make of all their possible endings, that lion told clair they were resolved to do. but a happy ending. just one, any one, will do.

lion accepts his offer, acknowledging lion needs will to help them reach this ending.

and it's because of this, that will & lion end up together forever. because they will always fight, forever, for this one, singular happy ending that it seems fate itself is trying to deny lion.

now, let's work backwards from here, and look at kanon/jessica! because kanon starts off alone, denying the possibility that he can ever be allowed to find happiness. he's already in despair.

the conflict here is even being open to accepting jessica's offer to help him reach a happy ending. and it has to be jessica, specifically, for kanon, because she is the only person who understands the uniqueness of growing up on rokkenjima and how it's a cage.

she cares about kanon as a person, but is also invested beyond just kanon, because she sees herself in him. it's a core belief of her own, how she had fashioned her own sort of happiness and freedom and self-acceptance, even though she also feels trapped by the circumstances of her birth. she can't just leave kanon suffer the same miserable stagnation.

the singular happy ending kanon and jessica are working toward right now is a relationship. it's not treated with much reverence from the narrative, compared to, say, george/shannon who are very serious and planning for a life together. they're young, and don't really know what they're doing, but it's a start. they want to try. it's a happiness they want to allow themselves to have, and they'll fight for this thing that seems small but is big to them.

from this single bud, who knows what will grow?

now, we don't see kanon and jessica's relationship past this: that's the magic and tragedy of the catbox! and here's where my personal interpretation comes in. because in my true yasu ending, where she finds happiness as a human being, kanon/jessica get together, and later break up.

kanon and jessica get together specifically because their circumstances made them necessary for each other, at that time, just like will/lion end up sherlock and watson-ing in ep7. and they had a great, and fun time together!

but then they end up breaking up later down the road when this shared journey that they had to take together is over. then, they leave each other, but are able to move on with their lives, forever changed and thankful for the experience.

just like lion resolved to live fully, even though there's no clear idea of what happiness looks like, because the future is wide and unknown...

if kanon/yasu can do the same: look toward the future, on their own, not knowing what comes next, with the only belief guiding them is a desire to live as personally fulfilling and satisfying a life as they can, with all their strength?

seeing the future, the unknown, with all its endless possibilities, and instead of being frightened, viewing it as something wonderful, and full of hope - seeing the future "with love"?

that's the beauty of being human.

the ocean is blue, indeed.....

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Some times, it doesn't just work.

Alduin, the duel on top of the world during the Dragon War, he's a God, he's an aspect of Auri-El, Akatosh doesn't exist, he is the foul worm that wishes to devour the world and begin it anew, he turns his enemies into babies and is wrestled out of time and space by the Avatar of Shor, shouted into existence by Ysmir, the Ash King, the Living Stormcloud.

Then, as he is sent forward through time, for what is but an instant to him, reality breaks several times over.

In his absence, centuries are erased from existence by people dancing on top a tower. In his absence, Akatosh is born and he's placed as king of the gods. In his absence, a man becomes a God, and reality bends to his will, the jungles of cyrodil are no more, replaced by the gentle hills of Oblivion, then the Dragon Breaks, and the God becomes Trine, and 6 futures happen all at once, and everything starts changing, with every new Shezzarine, with every new prophecy, really shifts, maybe a little, maybe a lot.

Alduin returns to the world, stripped of his divinity in this new reality, just a dragon, defeated by mortal men and their trickery, not by Ysmir, not by Shor. Everything is different, the walls between Nirn and Oblivion are different, the Prince of Madness is Different, the Nords are different, their gods are different, their history, their heritage, and it's not just time moving on, no, it's something far worse, something the harbinger of the end times can feel deep within his core.

The world is wrong. It has changed, devolved, it's magic lost, his myths watered, they lost their spark, their edge, the very colours seem dulled, greyer, not like the Vibrant splendour of his days.

The world is stagnating, trapped in a never ending season, unable to grow, slowly decaying, and there is one thing responsible for it.

Talos, the Demon of Alcaire, Talos the Unending, Talos the Unforgiving, Talos the Tower that keeps the world from ending, that keeps it trapped in this new cage, this hell of Mediocrity and Stagnation.

Every new Shezzarine, every new attempt to preserve this rotting world, Talos, his empire, has grown more important, more pivotal, more necessary to keep reality in check, almost by design, and Alduin doesn't know this, he can barely understand how or why this is happening, but he knows that this is wrong.

The world has gone on for far too long.

The first Dragon he meets, his brother, his betrayer, is a perfect example of it. He is old, weathered with age, his mind warped by the constant shifts in Reality, believing Akatosh had always existed, forgetting Kyne, Shor, Ysmir... He can't bear to look at him, a mockery of his former, divine self.

So he hides in Sovngarde, and gathers his strength by devouring the stagnating, rotting souls of the Nords, who erased themselves from the cycle of death and rebirth through violence and murder, their soul feasting on ash and broken dreams for all eternity. And through stagnation, change comes.

Alduin devours the world, through fire and war, and from within him, a new reality comes, different, and maybe better, as he burns in the fires of its creations.

The Shezzarine, the one supposed to stop him, let's him do it.

She takes up her fishing rod, sits on the edges of lake ilinata, and simply let's it happen. She's been forced to live this world, over and over again, under the orders of a cruel, lying god.

And she's Tired. Her soul, trapped in the cycle, in the cage, is tired.

She wants to see what comes next.

Be it Akavir, or Yokuda, or perhaps just Daggerfall again.

She doesn't care. She used to care, once, to believe reality could be preserved, that she could make it work, but now it's too late. It's been going on long enough.

As the world screams, it's death wail turning into its first words, she looks up across the dying stars, to the two moons, the corpse of the missing god, and says...

"Who's laughing now?"

[quintessentiallygifted]

Nancy Drew Tarot predictions

I know we saw the tarot reading in the trailer, but watching it play through had me thinking about the rest of the season. Like, everything sounds so doom and gloom when Temperance is telling them; betray, demise, reek havoc. You would think Horseshoe bays about to enter ran apocalyptic state lol

See below for my mad rambling predictions because there's no way she's being 100% truthful

Must admit, I looked up tarot cards and they are quite interesting. Depending on which way up they are changes their meaning. Upright is good and upside down is not so good. Their meanings are also pretty inline with the card, so we all know the death card doesn't always mean death, it could be upright; end of cycle, beginnings or change. If its upside down; fear of change, holding on or stagnation

No doubt i am totally wrong but i had fun thinking this up anyway lol. Let me know if you can think up better meanings for the cards :) And on to it;

One of you will be the others demise

The Card: The Pact, upside down so could be a broken promise

My Bet: Bess or George. Technically there are 7 souls in the room (not counting Temperance who's dealing the cards) and here's hoping the Drew Crew (Including honorary member Ryan) don't die.... so Odette. Maybe Bess is the lynch pin in freeing George, or maybe it's just George surviving. Either way. (Have either of these two made a promise to Odette or someone else?)

One of you will betray your true love

The Card: The Widow, upright so could be a new beginning

My Bet: Nick. We haven't really seen it, but I'm sure Nick would move heaven and earth to help George and with her shortened lifespan. Maybe a dangerous situation or two, or just going against her wishes either way could totally see one of his choices going against what George wants to evict Odette.

One of you will lose her heart (your heart?)

The Card: The Griffin, upside down so weakness / insecurity

My Bet: Ace. At first it sounded like this was aimed at one of the girls... and losing your heart after the murdered guy physically lost his, suuper creepy. This feels super Nace, because the card is upside down maybe Ace will feel like Nancy isn’t in to him. Read somewhere that they are pushing the love triangle this season (not really looking forward to that, but that’s another story) so maybe he will be pining. Either way looks like theres angst on the horizon and I’m so keen for that!!

One of you will reek havoc on this town

The Card: The Tempest (Fun fact, theres a Temperance Tarot Card), Still not sure about this card, its Upright so its a good thing. Storms reek destruction, so a positive on that could be change. Or as per the Temperance card; middle path, finding meanings and patience.

My Bet: Bess or George. This card sounds extremely messy, but its right side up so it should be positive. Could be George if she is looking into how to evict Odette or i feel like this one is Bess. Bess on some kind of quest for truth and answers, could be Marvin related, could be something else. But she will ruffle some feathers and stir up the dust looking for answers.

One of you will forsake what is dearest to you

The Card: The Trove, Upside down so could be clinging to control or bad luck

My Bet: Ryan. At first glance it sound like money, Ryan sure does value it and we know with Nancy disposing of the Hudson empire he is about to lose it but that feels too obvious and i hope Ryan has something he values more than that (*Cough* Nancy). I feel like there's going to be some big lead up to taking down Temperance and at some point Ryan will give up his right to Nancy so she can get through whatever the hold up is. As per the card, Ryan will feel like he has no control, perhaps her life is in danger or IDK

And only one of you will fulfill your destiny and that one will cause the rest to fall

The Card: We didn't see this one, and its the only one we never saw. The rest of the cards follow a pattern so unless this one deviates it should be upright. Which means its positive despite the negative spin Temperance threw on it.

My Bet: Obviously Nancy, They left no room for interpretation there and it plays into Nancy's fear of hurting her friends. Again this card should be positive, and however the Drew Crew fall hopefully its something simple like they fall asleep so Nancy can beat Temperance or something

And OMG that's it. So excited to see what they get up to this season. Thanks for reading!!!

[lovecolibri]

I wish guerin would've been the one to dump m*aria, not the other way around. And i certainly wish he would've held his tongue with a certain three words 🤨 so i guess now i'm imagining m*aria trying to get guerin back and him rejecting her and telling her he realized that alex truly is the love of his life and that their "relationship" was a mistake he won't repeat because it's alex who he wants back, not her. Because I'm Petty Like That

Well, we all know I'm a salty, salty bench so I feel you there. The whole m*luca thing was poorly conceived, poorly timed, and poorly written. I am eternally bitter the show ruined the snarky, reluctant BFFs we could have had with M&M. I'm sure the show is going to try and bring that dynamic back but it is too little far too late for me after season 2. Doing m*luca the way they did nearly killed many people's love for and belief in Malex which is pretty difficult after the stellar and believable performances by Vlamis and Tyler. They made that love feel real. And cosmic and painful and beautiful. It was an epic love story that was narratively moving forward, with Alex confronting his dad, and Michael pushing to stop keeping secrets. As much as Alex's behavior at the start of 1x09 was OOC as a set up for m*luca to have their one-off bang in the desert (sidebar, don't try that at home kids! It's full of sand, cacti, thorny scrub brush, scorpions, snakes, coyotes etc and is altogether unsafe and unsexy), it did give us that beautiful moment of Alex "what I want doesn't matter" Manes, finally saying what he wanted to say. That scene is one of my absolute favorites and it took the sting out of the m*luca scene a bit. If that would have been the end of it, I could have accepted C*rina's excuse that it was in "honor" of the OG M&M. 

If the show had decided to have them fool around during the lost decade and maybe have Michael think he's catching feelings, I would have been okay with an ILY from Michael then. And when Alex comes back from his deployment and Michael realizes nothing holds a candle to what he feels for Alex, we could have seen him break it off with M*ria. No matter what, not having Michael break it off was also a huge mistake (in a sea of other mistakes), because it puts the shadow of m*luca over all the rest of Malex’s relationship. Alex will always have that "what if" in the back of his mind that he was the second choice. As much as it's nice to see Alex going after what he wants, and being there for Michael and showing up, and not running like he used to, it would also have been nice to see Michael also going after what he wants. He put his wants and needs on the back burner for so long for Isobel (and Max) and I would have loved for him to realize that he is allowed to have needs and have them met. We could have seen that explored with him realizing he was hiding and stagnating in that relationship with M*ria, and been the one to call it off after Alex get’s kidnapped and he realizes what he is willing to do for Alex. Instead, we got him doubling down out of panic, and now we have to spend another season waiting for him to catch up to where Alex is, instead of seeing them grow together. 🙄

As for M*ria trying to get back with him, as much as my petty heart would love to see her actually face some consequences for being The WorstTM, I really hope the show doesn’t have them interact at all. Which I know also won’t happen, but I’m hoping they keep their interactions to a minimum and related to alien business. I know everyone is all “blah, blah people can be friends with their ex’s, blah” but after how manipulative she was with him that relationship was toxic at best and it is way healthier to just let it die. I’m sure the show wants us to forget it happened and so I’m worried they’ll never bring it up again and have the characters act like it never happened but I think it does a disservice to the story to just ignore how anything that happened before will affect the characters moving forward. We saw that with how Caulfield, Michael’s hand, Alex’s reenlistment, etc, etc, etc got forgotten or mentioned in a single line and never spoken of again. And that ruined the storytelling for season 2 and made for inconsistent characterization for many characters. 

[theonewhonothingknows]

Sex education

Oh, how do I hate these will they won't they narratives, but oddly enough I actually enjoy that plot in sex education.

The main problem with this kind of story , to me at least, and like many other tropes, it's not the trope itself but it being badly handled. Usually " will they won't they" either writes one or both characters as having nothing else in their lives, as if their whole character is there only for the relationship, so when the writers put effort in keeping the characters apart it feels to much like characters themselves stagnate, because, like I said , there is nothing else in their lives.

Luckily Sex Education feels very aware of that to me. In that while Maeve and Otis are always almost becoming a couple but it never feels like they aren't developing. Back in season one Otis' victory was not about being with Maeve it was about opening himself to associate sex with happiness and pleasure instead of a trauma. Maeves victory was about opening herself more to the people around her. Like looking back at her friendship with Aimee, it always feels weird that she would settle for being the secret friend, hidden away, but it totally makes sense that Maeve would accept that when we see her fear of being alone. In the end her victory is opening the door to her home and allowing Aimee inside.

Season 2 is much the same. Again their stories aren't exclusively about them getting together but their handling of their own lives and their bonds with people. Otis has to deal with his need to do the right thing ( he feels a lot like Chidi from the Good Place) and hurting others in the process. He grew up listening to his parents fighting, seeing his dad move away so when he finds himself in a situation of causing harm to a established relationship he goes down hard on trying not to be his dad, getting frustrated untill he lashes out.It is sort of something that was hinted by season 1 when he couldn't decide between heping Maeve and going to Erics birthday. His inability to be honest to himself hurt people, so his victory in season 2 is about defending his mother exposing his own flaws in public. It was about offering Jakob a sincere apology, something he could have very easily avoided, and finally letting Maeve know about his feelings. That was his honesty, him fighting for the ones he loves as Adam's Mother said.

For Maeve, a lot of season 2 is about what she wants as well. She is so used to dealing with everything on her own she needs to learn to be part of a team. She gets the chance of having a family again with her mother, but in the end she also pushes herself in doing the right thing. She also pushes herself to pursue a future, but doesn't have much hope for it. So her victory in the quizz and her ultimately letting that chance of family go for the safety of her sister are the balance she needs, her victory in her own right. Like Otis there is a lot about honesty to maeve's story, honesty that she needs other people, that Ola is actually cool and she tried to steal Otis, that she has things in common with others, that wanting her mother in her life is not that easy.

So yeah, these characters victories in the end of each season are not tied to their possible romance. Having an episode about honesty, of feelings and admitting mistakes, also makes it clear Isaacs actions are bad in the end of the episode itself.

I think that is all really great, and am looking forward to future seasons.

[sizhui]

SONG OF THE GARBAGE DUMP: A SHUNAZU CRASH COURSE

the (always forgotten) Nazuna perspective:

No good at talking, no good at sports, average even if he tries his best, only ever given praise for his looks, which leaves him feeling not angry, not confused ... just empty. Nito Nazuna introduces himself before he met Itsuki Shu as an unsatisfied, stagnated person who yearns to be liked, yearns for "a perfect life" - and it quite literally lands into his arms when a boy jumps out the window for him, calling him humanity's greatest work of art. For the first time ever, Nazuna feels something at the praise he receives. He basks in it. He, who wasn't good at anything, doesn't even need to do anything special to be the center of someone's universe - he only needs to put his life into that person's hands and dance as he was told to, and they live in their perfect little orderly world. Right?

And yet, Nazuna is unsatisfied. 'Stagnation' is a major and very interesting theme in Valkyrie stories. "The beating of my heart has stopped as well. Ah, and yet it doesn't hurt at all! I don't feel anything - nothing at all!" says Nazuna in a metaphorical nightmare about his life where ex-Valkyrie physically turn into dolls. Stagnation in Valkyrie is always painless - even Mika speaks of being a doll as a "painless salvation" in his solo - it's moving forward that's painful. It's humanity that hurts. Nazuna wants to move forward from his stagnation. Shu is terrified of it. The discord between them is symbolically portrayed through Nazuna's voice changing, and Shu's dissatisfaction with it - Nazuna wants to grow up, but Shu wants to keep playing house forever. This is the moment when Nazuna begins to see Shu as the stagnated one rather than himself, and the distance between them starts growing. This is very nicely portrayed through a church metaphor in human comedy. "I went to church not to hear the word of God, but to get cookies. But eventually the taste of cookies became too sweet for me, so I stopped going." I'm paraphrasing, but this is what Nazuna says in Human Comedy. The church is his relationship with Shu - which he indulges in not because he's in love with Shu like Shu is in love with him, but to get the praise he yearns for to get that feeling of being someone and something. Eventually, though, the relationship turns "too sweet" for him (we have this same metaphor with Ritsu and Mao in Band Ensemble so we can guess it means one party got too serious about the, khm, romantic aspect of the relationship.) But Nazuna isn't entirely selfish. He still likes Shu, he might even love him as he said in Star Festival, so he sticks around... until...

until Shu is trampled over by Eichi. Which leads us to the titular sub story, Song of the garbage dump.

Song of the garbage dump shows us Shu in the state of a complete breakdown, unable to even communicate. And in that state, Nazuna not only leaves him, but also urges Mika to leave him: "Even if you're with Itsuki, you won't get anything more from it. Even you've realized it, haven't you? Itsuki - our oshi-san - he's become useless." he says to Shu's face. He finally identified Shu as the source of his stagnation, and discarded him at the lowest point of his life - which is something people always, always seem to ignore.

In conclusion, Nazuna was a marionette, yes, but rather than Shu, he was puppeteered around by his own feeling of inferiority. He will eventually grow out of it, but his development with rabbits is material for another post. What matters is that he'd never been a passive participant in his relationship with Shu, despite the way he physically acts - his desires were in fact the driving force of it, and especially it's break up.

the (always misunderstood) Shu perspective:

I won't explain the entire relationship from Shu's perspective again, but I will address the two most important things: what does humanity mean to Shu? and what do dolls mean to Shu?

While it's never explicitly stated that Shu's family and peers severely abused him in childhood, his flashbacks, his disorder, the way he speaks about his mother and above all his dirtied view of humanity more than suggest it. While talking to Mika, Shu explains humanity like this: the impulse to hurt and kill a loved one against all reason. He even tells Mika to kill him in order to invoke feelings of humanity in him. I know... on the other hand, dolls are his saviors. Much like how he's grown to associate his abuse with the concept of humanity, Shu associates everything pure and good with the image of dolls (and children, precisely for resembling dolls.) Dolls will not hurt him, nor will they feel pain - which is exactly why he is stuck in a state of painless stagnation. When Shu sought to turn the people he loves, Nazuna and later Mika, into dolls, he didn't seek to control them, but to absolve them of the filth of humanity. He never sought to become a doll himself, but to save others from the hurt he'd already experienced. Was it healthy? Of course not. But was it selfish?