#; even as an art thief he doesn't KEEP the arts

[distopea]

Mads aesthetic of space, room, decoration and life can be associated to a very minimalistic appeal. 

Due to his poor childhood, his army experience, and his general need of space, Mads doesn’t like to collect nor keep objects. He wouldn’t want to have collections of any kind, since he has never found any form of appeal in opulence. He finds himself happier in a minimalist area rather than having his vision clogged by numerous items - it can be suffocating. 

For example, Mads wouldn’t collect more than two bottles of the same kind of alcohol, or wine. He would only have one watch and use it all the time until it breaks, unless he receives a gift. He doesn’t own any plant, and doesn’t have much frames on his walls either.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Any ideas for Phantom's number 1 fan? I'm so excited to see Tim and Danny run into each other and figure out OH, so this is what's going on. And also being gay cuz would either of them mind too much about being married? Hey- wait- what's this about a child-

Cut to the watchtower just freaking out full panic. Oh God, the world is gonna end. How do we fix this so the ghost king doesn't kill us all???

John Constantine would go bald from how much stress hair-pulling he was doing. They have been searching for a solid week and have yet to find out where Batman's third son went.

He left a very tiny trail across Europe, seemingly as an art thief and hired assassin. It broke Batman's eldest son's heart whenever a new clue was phoned into the Watchtower, which did not make John feel better about placing a bounty on the kid's head.

It was a neceasery but with each passing day it became clear that no one truly understod the Young Justice Robin. He seemed to always be one step ahead of everyone, and covered his tracks so well that it would have taken them months, maybe even years to follow if they hadn't been looking.

But oh, were they bloody looking.

The entire league had come together to trace Young Justice Robin's path, turning two of the main conference rooms into the center hub for comparing and connecting clues.

It looks like a conspiracy theorist's wet dream in there.

Colored yarn strung around the room, screens displaying messages and photos of cities, and multiple tired-looking league members scrambling to make heads or tails of the new personality that YJ Robin had created in every new country.

Frankl, John was slightly impressed by how much work the kid was giving them. Even the tracking spells that should have pointed in his general direction failed because his soul was not being picked up on a global search whenever they cast it.

It was almost as if the kid had left their world. John wanted to hope that it meant he went to a different planet, but he never betted on a horse with a broken leg.

YJ Robin was trying to kill the Ghost King's fiancee, and despite the guards they placed around known stationed natural portals, he managed to slip through.

It was the only thing that made sense, but it also meant they were running out of time. His contacts on the other side had caught multiple whispers that the Ghost King's army was gathering and would be ready for combat any day now.

At this point, he wasn't even sure the King would listen, even if they did manage to stop YJ Robin. Higher beings took a insult far more serious then humans did.

"Well?" He asks just to be a ass when Batman son teleports in. He gone to speak to some Ghost hunter specilists. Not that John put much stock in thier ecto-research. He perfected magic through hard work and numours deals. The thought the scientist thought they could us maths to build similar defenses were laughable.

But the league was desperate for any form of defense against the army in case they could not please the King in time.

Nightwing—even in the Batman suit, John could only see the young man in Blue struggling to keep everything together—pulled a face. "The Fenton's technology is impressive but....they seemed to really empthis that they no longer build weapons. That it wouldn't work."

"I could you that. At the most, they could detect a ghost but that's only a few second before a deadful shiver ran down your spin anyway." John huffs rolling his eyes.

"No. I think they were lying. They seemed really determined to make me believe they had no real means of harming a ghost. And get this: The Fentons dismantled the ghost portal they claimed allowed them to enter a death dimension only two days before we arrived."

Nightwing says with a tone that would have sounded strange in his blue suit. On Batman, it's just the right amount of emotionless that John has to bite his lip to stop him from reaching out and yanking the kid into a hug.

The world was too unfair to the kind-hearted folk like Nightwing.

The boy dressed as a Bat continues, blissfully unaware of how much he breaks John's heart. "They claimed it never worked and were embarrassed they kept it up for so long. I asked Oracle to check their online presence, and they read a lot of articles that speculated what the Justice League was up to days before they tore it down."

Now, John frowned in thought instead of disapproval. He highly doubted those hacks had made an actual portal to the Infinite Realms but they had boasted about it for three full years on their website.

It was the reason the Justice League even bothered to approach them. So why now, did they suddenly tear it down?

"They're trying to cover something up." John concludes watching the other nod in agreement.

The other man's jaw tightens for just a second before he adds "Or they are coving for someone."

Shit.

"Kid made it to the ghost zone, didn't he?" John swears feeling his heart drop down to his knees.

"We can gather that Young Justice Robin has made his way to the Realms and is now an active threat to humankind's survival. He needs to be taken down by any means possible," Batman declares, his voice like breaking glass. It's sharp and cutting, like the shreds of whatever heart was left in Richard Grayson.

John wonders if Bruce knows his son has broken from wherever his soul rests.

"That would explain the army that has gathered under the Ghost King banner," John grumbles, hands twitching for nicotine. "My sources said they are all gathered and practically ready to march."

"Do you know how long we have before they are here?" Batman asks walking into the conference room and grabbing the attention of every gathered hero with one hand motion.

Everyone tenses in a way that could make the weakest of them choke. They know what it means.

A level ten threat will arrive.

They failed to stop the Third Robin. He managed to spend months doing whatever he pleased, and now that the League was paying attention, it was far too late.

Many of them would not survive the upcoming battle. Many of them who did would lose so many loved ones that it would be hard to decide if they should spend the last few hours on the battlefield or in the arms of their families.

Life, as they know, may come to an end. They could become the next Krypton. Somewhere in the crowd, Kara falls to her knees, sobbing and babbling to Roa, begging for her not to live through her planet's destruction again.

A few of the youngest members start to sob along side her.

Wonder Woman, who was standing next to Superman and Martian man hunter, clears her throat. Her eyes are as hard as steel, her stance unwavering under the pressure of hundreds of pairs of eyes that land on her, and when she speaks, it's like the banging of a drum.

"Warriors prepare for combat. We are at War."

__________________________________________________________

Tim doesn't think when he lands.

He scrambles to his feet, and rushes away from the portal as fast as he can, hoping to put as much distance as possible between himself and the Yetis.

His feet fall into the mud, splashing and nearly tripping him over. It darkens out, and there are no cars in sight, but the smell is familiar, and the feeling of the air is welcome.

Before Gotham stands in all her grey dangerous glory, just over a few hills. He is far from the city, on the outside of Crime Alley, he thinks, but he can see the Bat symbol flowing proudly in the sky, can make out Wayne Headquarters, his Nest, and Babs' Clocktower, and it's so amazing to finally be home.

He pushes his legs to go faster, climbing up the hills into the highway. The streetlight flicker as he rushes by, unafriad of coming trafic. No one goes this way anymore. Not since they turned it into a dead end long before Bruce's parents died.

There are patches of broken road pieces where grass and weeds are growing through, his feet slap against the multiple holes, ruining his momentum but Tim can hardly care.

Tim knows how to find Bruce now.

He can help bring him back from the timeline through the various clues his father figure has been able to leave over his adventures. Tim is so close now, he can actually see the finish line.

He just needs to get to the Cave- when Jason and the Demon are not there, preferably. Maybe Alfred would let him in. The old man had always had a soft spot for Tim- and he could build the machine he needed.

That's if he doesn't build it in his Nest.

Tim runs faster, feeling his lungs and legs burn. He doesn't pay it any mind. The time with the Yeti has made him stronger, likely due to the hours of soaking in some private reserve of Lazarus Pit, so he is going at a faster speed.

One that he had never been able to reach before. He was nothing like a speedster or even on his Red Bird, but damn if it isn't exciting to think he may be able to outpace Jason now.

As he approaches, the city becomes more prominent, shimmering in a faint green glow, as if welcoming him home. Tim's face breaks into a smile when he enters Crime Alley, passing the city limits. In Bruce's city, he is safe from Ra because even without Batman, the city has always shielded them from the Ghuls.

Bruce will be back tomorrow, here in the shadows of Gotham's darkness, protecting everyone, and Tim will finally be able to rest. Months of invading the Justice League, working with the League of Assiasn, the Spiders, and his own doubts were finally going to be behind him.

So close. So very close he could taste it.

A scream cuts through the air.

Tim slides to a stop, feet splashing against the puddles of dirty water he hadn't noticed, swinging his head in the direction it came from. Every part of him wants to ignore it because he has to focus on getting Bruce. He does, but the fear in that woman's voice is too thick to ignore.

He glances back to his Nest, torn between his duty and his heart, biting his lip, but a young whimper- a child likely- makes the choice for him. Tim changes directions, going into the alley and coming across a family of three in the middle of being mugged.

It's quick work to get behind the man waving the gun, silent as the shadows, he blends in to mask his presense. He stricks just as the fool pulls the triger, the loud bang echoing in the small space.

The woman screams again, this time louder, with far more fright in her voice, as the boy bursts into tears.

Thankfully, Tim had knocked off his aim, and the bullet bounced off the brick near the man- likely the father- who was standing in front of a frightened woman and small child in what could only be an attempt to protect them.

The brick shatters to peices as Tim reels back his fists, bringing them down in three swift but brutal punches and the gunman hits the ground with a loud thump.

He hadn't even had time to scream.

Tim huffs above him, and the large amount of running finally catches up to him. It's been a long time since he was so out of breath, though sprinting at full force for a solid nearly fifty minutes was a good enough reason.

"Is everyone alright?" Tim pants out, shaking out his hand in a showy way. After all, he wasn't wearing a mask, and right now, this needed to look like Timothy Drake got a lucky burst of adrenaline.

"Yes." The man breathes, sounding shocked. "Yes, we're fine. Thanks to you. Thank you so much, you saved our lives."

"Don't mention it. I'm glad I was in the right place at the right time." Tim looks up at him, twisting his face into the perfect meek civilian persona Timothy Drake is known for, and then feels all the blood drain from his face.

At that moment, he realizes two things.

One, Gotham was many shades of depressing but it was never green. Espcailly glowing green but while he had been runing he had swon he saw it shifted to sit behind a filter that made it appear as such.

And Two, Bruce looked a aweful lot like his father.

"Oh my boy." Thomas Wayne says, wrapping his arm around Martha and little Bruce Wayne's. He sends Tim another grateful warm smile. "I don't think you understand just what you've done here."

No, Tim thinks faintly I really don't think I do.

_____________________________________________________________

Somewhere in the far future, Danny Fenton wonders why his portal-making skill has stopped working. He used it regularly as his search and rescue means but ever since Robin fell into his arms half dead he had not been able to activeate it.

It was almost like it was stolen from him.

If only his parents hadn't dismantled the portal. He could ask Frostbite to check him over.

[groceryreceiptss]

𝐚𝐥𝐥'𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 & 𝐬𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 | p.j.

percy jackson x reader | word count : 1.4k | requested

summary : though you were a skillful archer, you were an amateur when it came to dealing with a sword. while percy helped you trained for hours after lunch, he couldn’t help but fall in deeper with you, even though you’d probably never know it.

contains : my writing (again, warning). just fluff things <3 reader was implied as apollo's daughter, but never actually specified. oh, and a katniss everdeen reference! (because is the fic actually written by me if it doesn't include at least one thg reference?). let me know if there’s more!

a/n : i do NOT know how to write action-y scenes (even ones that are as light as this) so sorry if this comes out as flat haha. i had to get out my copy of the lightning thief just to be a tinny bit more familiar with it to be honest. also yes the title is kinda cheesy but soo is this entire fic < 3

credits : fan art by frostbite.studios, dividers by @benkeibear, pins i used (1) (2) (3)

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The afternoon sun hit the color of your eyes as you tried the move he had just demonstrated to you. Your eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and your forehead slicked with sweat. A borrowed but fitting sword was gripped in your hand, ready to clatter his. Percy and you had been going at it ever since lunch ended and yet you still seemed determined to keep going. 

Percy counted and you attacked, one, two, three. Next move, you tried to thrust it into the right of his protected ribcage. But with your lovely eyes being a little too obvious and your hand still clumsy with the blade, he deflected it off easily, letting yours fall to the ground. 

“Oh, I’m terrible,” you said with an embarrassed smile, pulling up your bronze helmet and dragging a hand to swipe your hair out of your forehead. You retrieved the sword and turned to ask him. “Okay, honest opinion. What did I do wrong?” 

“Well…” he started, as he took off his own helmet, tucking it under his arm, “Your eyes give away a bit too much to the opponent, so I could easily tell what you were going to do. You’re still too hesitant about it I think.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes, “Well, how can I not when my opponent at this given moment is Percy fucking Jackson but go on.” 

Percy was thankful that the sun was taking it one for the team and became a cover for the red that just possibly covered his face. He shook his head, fighting a smile that was trying to break through his lips. Joke about it, take defense.

The lines of his mouth morphed into a teasing grin. “Is that an excuse that I hear, miss y/l/n? Since when do you play with those?”  You were always so stubborn, in the best sense of the word. And Percy always found it admirable to say the least.

You raised your eyebrows before shooting back, “And if it is, it's also not unreasonable, Mr. Jackson.” That cute smile of yours taking flight in your face. He noticed that it was still the same one from when he first saw you at twelve, a few years back. Some things never changed. 

“What else?” You asked again, crossing your arms with the sword pointing downward. “Come on, don't be shy. I can take it.”

He considered it before answering. “Your hand wasn’t steady enough with the sword and with the move you were trying to execute. It made it a bit… off. And hard to get away in battles.”

You let yourself collapse to the ground with a dramatic sigh, exhaustion finally took over you. Your legs stretched in front of you and your helmet and sword clanged by your side. “Never mind, I lied, I can't take it."

He laughed and sat down next to you, putting his equipment by yours. The wind was finally picking up now, bringing a sense of balance to the hot weather.

"I can never get this right.” You huffed, blowing up your loosen hair, which Percy couldn't help but think that you looked slightly adorable.

“It’s totally fine,” he promised you, words creeped with encouragement. “Just be more confident! I swear it works. Or just…” he trailed off, unsure, and then shrugged. “don’t think about it too much, I guess.” 

“Contradiction, contradiction.” You said in a sing-song voice before looking at him with that inspecting face and said, “Do you drink some secret potion or something? Someone altered your ambrosia?”

Percy let out a laugh, “Your perception of me is unrealistically high, I see. I can say the same to you, Katniss Everdeen.”

Your face’s expression stretched with surprise before you nodded in approval. “That’s the best way to compliment my archery skills actually, yes. Forget Apollo the doofus.”

“Who?” Percy played in the joke, to which you answered with the only appropriate one : “Exactly.”

He clapped his hand, an idea forming in his head. "Alright, how about this. If you give it a try just one more time, I'll give you some blue cupcakes my mom just sent me a few days ago." He offered with a knowing smile, getting you too well to strike a tempting bargain with you.

Percy knew how in love you were with his mom's cupcakes. Sally Jackson made the best for the best. It had only taken one bite and he could already tell how head over heels you were with them. He might or might not be planning to try to make a batch himself as a surprise for your upcoming birthday, but he feared the baking talent of the greats did not pass onto him. These hands weren't only skilled in combat, but with a pair of mitts and an oven, they could also burn an entire kitchen down.

Still though. Seeing the way your eyes immediately lit up right now made him rethink his choices. Maybe burning down a room wasn't so bad. At least you would probably laugh at his pathetic attempt.

Your mouth split into a grin and he was brought back to the world. You shook your head in slight disbelief. "Bringing Mrs. Jackson cupcakes into this? You are not playing fair, Perce."

"That's a deal then?" He held out his hand for a shake.

You sighed, putting his hand in yours. "Fine, deal."

Percy tried to ignore the fireworks he felt as he gripped your hand tighter and pulled you up to stand. His heart felt like it was trying to push its way out of his ribs, but in a good way. Like a thrill.

"Alright, one more time," He said as he retrieved his sword and you retrieved yours. "You ready?"

"Honestly, I'm just doing this for the cupcakes now." Seriously, how much could one person make him smile in the span of five minutes?

You and Percy put on the helmets. He counted to three, and you started taking offense as he took defense. One, two, three. It all started out well. Your movements were still a bit clumsy, but you'd get better on it in no time, he was sure. And you were doing pretty good work too. That was until you were stepping back, trying to deflect his now offensive movements, and tripped over yourself. You fell to the hard ground with an oof.

Luckily, with your equipment still intact, you couldn't be hurt that much. But Percy immediately dropped riptide and got to your side.

He knew it was stupid. You and him were both warriors, you were good with a bow, he was good with a sword. Both of you had been injured multiple times in different kinds of battles, and yours had been more grotesque than his more than once, so this was absolutely nothing. Still, he guessed, the instinct to worry would just stay the same.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, as he gently pulled you up to a sitting position. His forehead was creased together as he looked at you, but you were instead laughing, finding your recent incident funny. "What?" He asked, couldn't help but let a laugh, albeit confused, out of his lips too. Yours were charmingly infectious.

You pointed at your face, your bronze helmet askew, voice still laced with traces of mirth. "Tell me, how silly do I look?"

He smiled, affection swarmed him. "Very silly," Should he risk it? "So silly, it's borderline annoyingly cute actually." Okay, risking it then.

But you just smiled, either welcoming it or oblivious to the actual meaning behind it. Probably the latter. You wouldn’t be convinced someone actually liked liked you even if it was plastered on a billboard. You pointed at his face, and laughed again, this time with an effort of covering your mouth. "You look so silly too, I'm sorry."

He shook his hand, bringing out a breath of laughter, unable to keep his smile from growing further under the protective gear. "Hey," he said, finally taking off his helmet and letting the wind touch his face. "It was in solidarity with you as a friend! Please appreciate it."

"I do!" You took off your helmet, letting the glow of the sun kiss your face again. Percy couldn't help but be entranced with the way you looked, still perfect even with the destroying searing weather of June. You couldn't keep doing this to him. "Sorry, I'll stop." You promised as you withdrew a laugh, but he actually wished you wouldn't. He loved hearing you laughed, it made the wind that danced around him a melodic thing, one he could be around forever—or whatever it was the poets said.

Looking at you made him understand what they were always talking and raving about, but he could never explain it.

"So," You began, "About those cupcakes?"

───────────────────────

[cherry-leclerc]

red diamond ☆ cs55

genre: humor, fluff, arthistory!reader

word count: 2.8k

The story of when you and Carlos met and how the mutual connection of art takes you two on a pleasing journey that will leave you realizing a thing or two.

req!... i did a bit of touch ups from the request i got but i hope that anon doesn't mind AHH. hope you guys like it :)

“No, no, no! Ritorno! Per favore!” 

Gasping for air, you curl over as you groan in frustration. Punching your bag, you watch lamely as the cab drives away. It was your own fault - you had overslept - but you seriously thought you would make it on time. You moved to Italy a few months ago to study Art History in one of the most prestigious universities. But along with that, there were lots of things being asked from you; volunteering in museums, endless essays, and ridiculous research that even had you second guessing your choices. 

“Stai bene?” 

Spinning around, you make eye contact with a tall man who secretly made your blood run cold. You shiver as you nod, hoping it would be enough and that he would just leave you alone. But he doesn’t budge, he only digs a single hand into his pocket. Your stomach drops.

“Am I about to get mugged?”

“What?” 

Chewing on your bottom lip, you point out his all black outfit and how creepily he kept his hand hidden from plain sight. Bright pink colors his cheeks as he instantly raises his arms up in defense. God no! Oh sh- I’m sorry, he squeaks as he winces. You let out a breath of relief as you rub your arms to help keep warm. 

“Do I look like a thief or something?”

Scanning the empty road, you squint as you try your best to find another ride. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea you’ve had to go to the Sistine Chapel at night. “Or something.” He softly laughs. Shimming out of his sweater, he shyly hands it over. “That’s very nice of you, but it’s okay. You’ll get cold.”

“I won’t. Plus, you’re shivering so much that I can hear your teeth chattering. Seriously, take it.” Instead of telling him no, you decide against it since you were two seconds away from getting frostbite. Grazie, you whisper as you tug the sweater over your head. He looks away as soon as your arms swing up and allows him to get a good glimpse of your white lingerie. “What are you doing out alone so late at night?”

Warming your hands deep inside the hoodies pockets, you respond, “I was trying to get a lift to the museum. I have to take some notes for a lecture I have tomorrow morning. I was supposed to go a whole lot earlier, but my nap was longer than I had intended.” He glances at you for a moment before jingling his keys up. You raise a brow.

“Can’t reassure you that the museum will still be open at a time like this, but I could offer you a ride back home.”

Agreeing turned out to be the best thing you could have ever done. Turns out Carlos drove for a living - whatever that means; he had been suspiciously blunt with it - but long before, he had actually studied Art History himself back in Spain. Ever so kindly, he had helped you research about The Creation of Adam. You were extremely impressed when he kept naming facts from the top of his head.

Shutting your notebook, you sheepishly shake your head. “You just saved me from embarrassment in front of my professor. She could be a bit mean when we don’t get our stuff done. Typical Italians.”

“Not all Italians are like that.”

“Sure.” Pause. “But she is.” He nods as he points towards your main entrance. Clapping your hands, you leap up from your couch. “Thanks again for all the help. I really appreciate it. I also appreciate that you didn’t turn out to be some murderer.” He squints his eyes teasingly.

“Thief or murderer, which one is it?” 

“Preferably neither.” You open the door slowly as he steps out. “See you around, Carlos.”

“Of course.”

-

A few weeks later, you’re in a complete hurry. You had overslept, again, and it was looking as if you weren’t going to make it to class on time. You mumble a line of curses at the clear image of Professor Clara lecturing you for the thousandth time. It didn’t help either the way your key got jammed at your quick attempt to lock the door. 

“For fucks sake-”

“Need help?”

“Merda!” You drop your coffee as you spin around with a hand over your stomach from the sudden shock. The familiar brunette cringes as he bends down to pick up your thermo. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He carefully takes your bag from your arm. “I just thought-”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off as you share a tight lipped smile. “It’s nice to see you, but I don’t have time for this. I’m late as it is.”

“Typical Italians.”

Your mouth drops open as you snatch your things back from him. “For your information, I am not Italian. Also, what are you doing here?” He beams.

“I have a favor to ask.”

Straightening your posture, you chirp as you take him by the hand towards his car. “Me too. Can I have a ride?”

You knew he’d agree. What you didn’t know was how excited he was to be near your presence. From the moment he first saw you he felt a sort of attraction that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Yes, you were breathtakingly beautiful but there was something about your aura. Everything about you made him crave more. He felt so stupid that it took him this long to see you again.

“Sooo. What do you need?”

“Right.” Turning on his blinker, he quickly glances at the GPS. “Are you free later?”

“Way to make a girl feel special.”

“Sorry,” he murmurs. “It’s just that there’s this painting…” When he notices your lost expression, he taps his finger desperately against the wheel. “Doni Tondo. Ever heard of it?” The mention has you buzzing as you nod excitedly. “Of course you do. Anyways, they’re holding an auction up for it. I need you.” 

“You do know I’m a broke college student who lives off of pizza and pasta, right? If you’re looking for money then I’m just going to let you down-”

“Money’s not the issue.” Flashy, you hiss as he smiles. “I have the money, but I need you. I need a date.” Why? He makes a left turn. “Do you know the meaning behind the painting?” You shake your head. “It depicts the importance of family. A healthy marriage.”

“I’m not following…”

The Spaniard becomes distressed as he sees you’re getting closer to your destination. He presses down on the brake a bit. “They want couples. Wealthy couples. Someone who they know that if they buy this piece of art then it’s going to be in good hands. That it’s going to continue serving its purpose.” He turns to you as he cocks his head a bit. “I need it as a birthday present for my mother. She’s been wanting it for ages and…Please.”

Putting the car in park right in front of the university entrance, he hopes to find an answer in your face as you keep it blank. Instead, you gather your things as you step out of his car. A delicate hand waves for him to roll the shiny window down.

“Pick me up at 8.”

-

“This is coconuts! I’ve never been inside of the Uffizi Gallery,” you whisper-shout as you cling onto his arm. He smiles down at you as he leads you to the small group of potential buyers. There were six in total - making it more intimate and scary. You were scared. His warm hand makes its way to cradle your face as he leans down to kiss your temple. You physically melt.

“It only costs a couple of euros.”

“You’re killing the vibe,” you groan as you pinch his cheek. He shrugs as he hushes you. Enzo, the coordinator, does a quick introduction with a cheerful voice. Everyone else seems to be listening just to listen, but you and Carlos were picking up on all of it like a sponge. “He’s a genius.” You stare in awe. The brunette stifles a laugh. He’s not the one who created these paintings, you know that, right? You throw a deadpanned glare. “You’re killing it,” you remind him. He pokes his tongue out.

“Why don’t we get started, shall we?” 

The rich are animals - you come up with that conclusion quick enough. The sum that flies past their lips has you gawking as you hide behind the Spaniards tall figure. €50,000, a man yells with a blonde clinging onto his arm with a wide grin. You choke. 

“Anyone willing to go for more than €50,000?”

“€100,000.”

Spinning your head to face Carlos, you have to stop yourself from calling it off. It wasn’t like it was your money anyways. Mrs. BotchedUpBoobsButThinksItsNormal grows red as she whispers to the bald man. He nods. €150,000! 

“€240,000.”

“What?” Distangling your arm from his, you freeze as you feel your fake ring fly off your ring finger. Carlos had slipped in on you - he wore a matching one - as a way to make you both look more of a real couple. A nervous laugh bubbles out of you as you clumsily run over to where it lies. “My apologies!” Enzo bends down before handing it to you. Mio Dio! What a diamond! Red and rare!

Walking over to you both, Carlos takes it from him as he slips it back onto your hand. “Good eye.” But Enzo is basically drooling as he takes your hand to analyze it. 

“I’ve never seen one so up close and personal! Very exquisite! You must feel extremely lucky, tesoro!” 

“Very,” you cheer as you pull your hand away. “How about we get back to it? Excuse my interruption-”

“So, where did he propose?”

“Sistine Chapel.”

Your cheeks burn up from his words. That was where you were trying to get to the first night you two met. To take notes of Michelangelo’s, The Creation of Adam. Much like now, you two were on a mission to retreat Michelangelo's, Doni Tondo. Enzo swoons as he shakes the Spaniards hand.

“Stravagante! What a love story! I could tell - feel - the chemistry between you two. It’s real.”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Not used to getting such high compliments from someone like you!” Carlos cuts you off as he tugs you closer, large hand laying over your hip. You shiver. He points to the painting. “What do you say?”

“Sold to Mr. and Mrs. Sainz!”

-

A whole crew follows in black SUV’s as they carry the painting to Carlos’s home, after Enzo had insisted it should be done that same day. Extending your hand out, you admire the ring. “You said it was fake.”

“Did I? I must have forgotten.”

Turning your body to face him, you place a hand on his upper thigh. His body stiffens as he clenches his jaw and squeezes his hands tight against the steering wheel. You let out a cough as you shyly pull away. 

“You should have told me. I would have been more careful. Especially since it belongs to your mother.”

“Except it doesn’t anymore.”

Your brows pull in together as your bottom lip starts to wobble. “Did she die?” Taking in your glossy eyes, he shakes his head as he laughs. 

“She’s fine.” He doesn’t say much after that as he pulls into a fancy driveway. Jesus, you squeal. He unclicks your seat belt. “My parents are over for the holidays. They’re taking the painting with them when they leave back to Spain. Come meet them.”

You must be in some sort of trance because you let him take you by your hand as he leads you towards the mansion. You wonder why, but when you remember there’s people still around with the painting, you wrap your fingers tighter against his.

“Perfect. Grazie.” The 29 year old admires as he takes a step back to take in the painting. It was gorgeous. You were starting to get jealous that it belonged to someone else. The group of men share a quick exchange of goodbyes before scurrying out the door. Walking back to you, he taps his shoe against your heel. “What do you think?” You scrunch your nose.

“Meh.”

He spins to face you. “You’re crazy. It’s beautiful.” He looks at you as you stare up at the wall where Doni Tondo hangs. He shudders. Tickling your waist he says, “Admit it. Say you love it.” You shake your head as you giggle. I’ve seen better. He gapes. “Liar!”

“I’m not lying.”

He books it to you as you squeal and try to not trip over your dress as you run away. Grabbing you by the waist, he spins you. Admit it! “No,” you wheeze as you grow dizzy and yet don’t want the moment to end. You pull on his bow that matches with the rest of his expensive tux. “I’m going to throw up if you don’t let go!”

“¿Estamos interrumpiendo?” 

Pushing Carlos off harshly, the ring flies off your finger for the second time that night. You swallow a curse as you look up to an older couple. They smile fondly. Though you haven't met them before, you are able to quickly identify them as the Spaniards parents. Blood rushes to your face. 

“It’s so nice to meet you.” You take a step towards them as you extend your hand. They both shake it as they bring you in for a hug. You let out a small umph. Once they pull away, you pick up the ring from the floor. “I am so sorry about dropping your ring! I know it belongs to you. Carlos told me it was fake and if I had known, then I wouldn’t have flung my hand-”

“Don’t you worry, cariño - it doesn’t belong to me anymore.” Told you, Carlos interrupts. You scowl at him before handing it back to Reyes. She shakes her head as she covers your hands with hers. “Keep it.”

“But that wouldn’t be the right thing to do.” You twirl around as you hand it to Carlos. “Somebody take it, please.” He stares back blankly and you could tell he’s about to say the same thing, but his mother’s words make him take it from you. It’s okay, Carlos. Hesitantly, he obeys. You let out a breath of relief. 

Forcing himself to shake off the bitter feeling, he points up at the painting. “Lo hice. ¿Les gusta?” Reyes and Carlos Sr. nod as they hug each other. Nos encanta. She directs her attention back to you.

“What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful.” 

And it was. It was the true depiction of a family. Carlos frowns. “You said it was okay.” Discreetly, you pinch his hip. He yelps. 

“I was only joking, you should know that.” A beat. “I think it's one of the prettiest paintings I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I’m so jealous that you two get to keep it,” you joke as they laugh. Carlos Sr. wags his finger.

“It’s not ours.” What? You and Carlos slump as you look at each other with as much confusion as shock. The older couple laughs. “It was never going to be ours, but we needed a good enough reason for Carlos to pull the trigger. He’s been talking about this painting for as long as we can remember. Isn’t that right?” Reyes nods.

“I knew that if I said I wanted it then he would get it. Either way, if he didn’t buy it then we would have bought it for him.” She walks up closer to you both. “This painting is not just a pretty sight - it’s also the raw interpretation of love. When two people fall in love, things become so crystal clear that it almost has you wondering if you’ve lost your mind. You start to learn that a family is one of the most important things and what better way than to form that with your other half. Marriage is a sacred thing - and sure, it's scary - but it’s very well worth it. You’ll see.”

Her words make your stomach twist as you catch Carlos’ reaction through your peripheral vision. It sort of looked as if he was having some sort of epiphany as he nodded attentively at his parents. For some odd reason, the image of him starting a family of his own with some random woman makes your head hurt. 

“ A few adjustments may be needed, but I have a feeling this ring will find its way to the right girl. Don’t you think, Carlitos?”

Carlos’ eyes flicker to yours as you look back at him. The connection had always been there, but something felt different. Scarily secure. Neither of you were brave enough to ask if this was something you were both feeling. Not yet, at least.

“I think it will.”

[barrenclan]

HI i just finished reading the comic and it's so so incredible!!!! your art is gorgeous and your work with the story is completely unmatched <3

I've been listening to the song Butcher Vanity by Vane Lily a lot and it strikes me as a Deepdark song!

Thank you! I'm so glad you like the comic. I agree, Deepdark's desire to kill and eat and never stop consuming is what defines him. I'll use the chance to share a PMV by my pal Katti, the creator of The Exiled comic who made a really excellent PMV with the song :)

I think someone else had the same idea as well, it looks like it's already been suggested before :) but yes it does fit very well! Any song about a land/town/etc that's been cursed and rotten forever works great.

Tell me now of the very soul that look alike, look alike Do you know the stranglehold covering their eyes? If I call on every soul in the land, on the moon Tell me if I'll ever know a blessing in disguise

The curse ruled from the underground, down by the shore And their hope grew with a hunger to live unlike before

I never knew this song was from the Justice League movie?? Wow, that's wild. It is a good song for PATFW as a whole.

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed Everybody knows the war is over Everybody knows the good guys lost Everybody knows the fight was fixed The poor stay poor, the rich get rich That's how it goes Everybody knows

I have! In fact, the song "Hellfire" is the character theme song for Cootstorm. I made a drawing of it awhile ago.

Did you know that in fact someone made an animated video with Rainhaze to this very song? It's really cool, you should check it out!

Yeah, it's pretty Rainhaze! Especially in his post-Asphodelpaw murder manic phase.

If you knew what I knew, if you saw what I see You’d look through illusions, hallucinations, and lucid dream And I know that meaning can be such a pretty thing to keep But I got facts and I’m not afraid to use ‘em, take the good with the bad, take off the back you make a new front Some days I'm glad that I am a madman and I’d rather be that than An amicable animal, mild-mannered cannibal

Aww wait :(

Looks like the cat did a number on you Vienna, oh He took a brick off the side of the stoop Poor vienna It'll be over soon Your mamas waiting for ya But you're not coming home

Your mamas been so worried Cause you never came home Beneath the ground you're buried In memoriam

Yes I think it could be! Even more, I think it's exemplary of Deepdark's general charisma and desire to recruit people into Defiance, reminiscent of his speech from Issue 28.

You and me should go outside And beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em, beat 'em All pathetic flag waving ignorant geeks And we'll eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em, eat 'em

Come join the cause, come join the cause Who wants to come with me and come join the cause? Hide in the sky, hide in the sky Who wants to come with me and hide in the sky?

Oh, my mom loves this album, I grew up listening to it. This does remind me a bit of them, how sweet and sad.

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes Let them know you realize that life goes fast It's hard to make the good things last You realize the sun doesn't go down It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize That you have the most beautiful face? Do you realize?

What a unique take on their relationship! I do like the theme of Ranger guiding Rainhaze's hand, and the parent-child energy is very interesting for them. Interesting take on Mordred, for that matter.

Guileless Son, I'll shape your belief And you'll always know that your father's a thief And you won't understand the cause of your grief But you'll always follow the voices beneath

Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty Loyalty only to me

[complete-clownery]

my new OCs (both of them nameless)

This is actually how they look like

Hahaha yeah so now that I can finally talk about them (since they're still nameless I'm just going to call them Tarsier and Pygmy)

Here's little backstory for them and how they got to know eachother:

Both of them a street rats with no families,

Pygmy's been a wanderer since their childhood, they were found by a wanderer human woman who was traveling with her small troop, they took them in for a while but eventually left them in a random village the troop was passing trough, when Pygmy was around 10, they got fucked up over that obviously but adapted to the situation pretty easily. Now they're 26 and never really feeling the need to settle down anywhere, they just have to keep on moving for some reason. Oh yeah also Pygmy is born mute (maybe that's why they were left behind by their biological parents) they never learned sign language cuz there was no one to teach it to them, they got their own version of it tho,,, manedged to get them this faar, so that's good enough. They also like to keep a low profile

Tarsier is a bit different, he had a family. He lived together with his mother, but they were poor and after a particularly cold winter his mother died from an illness, he was around 6 years old at the time and now on the streets alone. He somehow survived living on scraps and learning the art of theft. Actually later on when he was 12 and a decent pickpocket some demon gang took him in, but due to complications (that he definitely did not brought up on himself) he had to leave the troop (more like flea). Now he's 24 and goes from village to village now being an excellent pickpocket and a snarky bitch gets in a lot of fucking trouble wherever he goes. he also doesn't know when to shut up, and has made a lot of enemies throughout his years (his extremely annoying too)

His first encounter with Pygmy was pretty funny too.

Tarsier took their wallet, tho not so long after Pygmy being just as streetsamrt as Tarsier is, noticed the missing purce and chased down Tarsier.

Tho Pygmy isn't really a fighter, they learned some tricks while constantly on the road, beat up Tarsier who is an even worse fighter (and massive coward), or more like was about to beat up Tarsier but he promised he would make up for Pygmys troubles by navigating them thought the particularly big village and getting them a place to sleep.

Pygmy was sceptical at first, but been dying for a real bed so they took the offer, tho they were rightfully sceptical cuz that night they got in trouble for breaking in an inn and stealing food, Tarsier obviously tried to put the blame on Pygmy, with no luck tho, cuz others have recognized him as a thief, so they had to run for their lifes

They ended up getting out alive of the village eventually. Pygmy was extremely fed up with Tarsiers shenanigans, but they ended up going in the same direction, also for some reason Tarsier decided that Pygmy is his new favorite person and stuck to them like a leech (much to Pygmys displeasure)

And I have no idea how did they manadge to warm up to eachother, but that happend and now they're sworn broths/siblings, partners in crime, trouble makers, fuck yeah

That's about all the info I can give to you about them

[satanisaware]

"Second Chance"- WH fanfic [Demo]

☆| Chapters 3-4

Fanfic by: Lapinity (me)

Welcome Home arg by: @/party_coffin

Early on, Gwen was busy talking to her neighbor at the front door, leaving Wally in the kitchen to keep him out of that neighbor's sight, but soon Gwen finished talking and walked back into the kitchen. She saw that Wally had accidentally knocked over her coffee cup. But he doesn't realize that what he did might make her upset.

Later that night, a thief broke into Gwen's house while she was sleeping. It was thanks to Wally for alerting her to the presence of this intruder, however, that Gwen quickly put him in a safe place to take care of this thief and break his ass.

Later, after this thief was eliminated and disposed of, Gwen went to take a look at Wally, whom she had protected inside her closet, and he seemed calm and reassured at that time, especially since he was holding on to something special that had belonged to her deceased son.

One evening, instead of staying at home, Gwen decided to take Wally in her possession and return to the studio to research and discover the things that Wally had always known about but that Gwen had not known. A lot of time had passed after Gwen's resignation and before the studio was completely shut down, so there is no doubt that there is evidence that is buried in this building on some conspiracy.

Gwen's plan did not succeed in obtaining logical answers to her questions and confirming the existence of this conspiracy, and this is because her friend intervened in removing her from the building permanently, not realizing that she had gone with a little friend there, and he dragged her towards the car and drove her away from this place with a harsh reprimand from him.

------------------------------------------------------

Hello!

This is another Demo for the upcoming two chapters from my WH fanfiction, I hope the art and little descriptions were enjoyable, I'll announce y'all once the chapters are ready.

if you haven't read the first two chapters yet, please check this Link to be able to read them, and I hope you enjoy them as well!

[sitp-recs]

HD Erised 2023 - Sitp recs

Hello hello! I’ve been trying to get back into the reading zone and Erised came at the perfect time. I thought I’d share my favorites as I slowly make my way through it, mostly to keep track of my reads and also because it’s been so long since I did a fest list (please don’t mind my very much incomplete Fan Fair list while I kick off another one 🙈 so much to read, so little time!). These were great fun and I can’t wait to see what’s coming up next!

🧹 Clear Skies, Full Hearts by @sorrybutblog (E, 16k)

Harry loves everything about playing professional Quidditch – the rush of flying, the rush of winning, the rush of getting off with rival seeker Draco Malfoy. Harry’s the highest scoring rookie Seeker in the history of the League. He’s also, inexplicably, obsessively, hooking up with Draco. When Draco unexpectedly quits the League and disappears from Harry’s life, Harry doesn’t stop wondering what it all meant and if he’ll ever get another chance to find out.

🪴 solemates by @shiftylinguini (E, 17k)

It starts because Harry has no self-control when it comes to meaningless and entertaining competition. Actually no, that's not quite right. It starts because Harry is absolutely plastered.

🎨 Thickets by @wolfpants (E, 17k)

When Draco returns to the UK after two decades of building his career as an internationally-renowned artist to look after his ailing, estranged father, he crosses paths with his former flame, Harry Potter, in the most unexpected way.

🚎 Sugarplum by @mallstars (E, 27k)

"Draco," said Potter, a little breathless, a little cheerful. "Hi." He smelled of coconut lotion, Cockroach Clusters and a sloppy ironing charm, his scent crowding Draco's overworked mind from the moment he stepped onto the bus. Lifting one hand off the steering wheel, Potter gave a small wave. He wore gloves. Fingerless, the leather black against the sunlight. Leather. In August.

🧶 we have heard on high by @oflights (E, 34k)

Reeling from the fallout of a bad breakup, Harry decides to find out who his soulmate is. The bad news: it's Draco Malfoy. The good news: Malfoy doesn't seem to know they're soulmates. The worst news: Harry might be falling for him anyway.

🇫🇷 À Bon Chat by @oknowkiss (E, 35k)

Draco Malfoy didn’t intend to lead a life of crime after the war. It’s just that being good had turned out so incomprehensibly boring. Now he's thirty-five, a fully redeemed member of society, the darling of the wizarding social pages, and a newly minted consultant for Gawain Robards' Investigative Research division. In his spare time, he enjoys good whisky, casual sex, and moonlighting as an art thief.

🥘 Nothing Gold Can Stay by @moonflower-rose (E, 40k)

One summer evening, Harry Potter vanished in the middle of dinner with his friends. Four days later he came back. Sort of. Draco Malfoy is on the case.

🐺 Jasmine in Bloom by @lqtraintracks (E, 41k)

This is not something Draco can have in his life… Potter overturning all that he’s carefully cultivated. They’re not compatible and never will be. Draco’s been playing with fire. It just so happens that he likes how Potter smoulders before being allowed close enough to burn.

⏳The Unplottable Time Conundrum by @writcraft (E, 45k)

When the past starts bleeding into the present at Grimmauld Place, an old academic article pulls Draco Malfoy out of his life of luxury. Haunted by the memory of a fleeting post-war kiss and thrust into the ghostly spaces inhabited by Unspeakable Harry Potter, Draco’s easy life is about to get a whole lot more complicated.

🪩 Never Mind the Bollocks by @the-sinking-ship (E, 118k)

If someone told Harry six months ago that by autumn he would be single, living on whisky and toast, and dancing the night away with Draco Malfoy, he would have told them to get their head checked. And yet, here he was.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is an interior designer for the ultra rich; he moves furniture around to lighten "engeries" and increase "flow". It's a hodgepodge of bastardized fung shui and geometry, because Hob is a conman. And thief.

His interior design persona and "firm" was a cover Hob was using to case some rich asshole's house. Hob wasn't even trying to sell the bit really, he moved a single chair, but after the job (this guy was obliviously so rich that he hasn't seemed to notice Hob's theft 🤷🏽‍♀️) Hob's mark recommended him to his other rich douche friends.

So high-end interior design is now Hob's side hustle. He's still a thief and conman, but now he's legally (sort of) conning marks. Hob is just as surprised as you.

He has just been hired to design the new bachelor pad for one Dream Endless - artist, socialite, philanthropist. If the name sounds familiar, it's because he just had an amazingly loud divorce play out in the press from partner no. 3 (there were two other marriages and one kidlet, for Mr. Endless). And it seems like the ex got all the friends and support in the divorce.

Hob was hired by some assistant, a Matthew, so he's yet to meet Mr. Endless, but if the various paparazzi photos are right, he should certainly be nice to look at.

Yeah, those paparazzi photos did not do him justice -- watching Dream swim in little tiny speedos is Hob's new religion. If Hob were a better man, he wouldn't be scheming to become Mr. Endless the 4th.

Mr Endless the 4th... and hopefully the last. I reckon Hob will want to stick around! I am absolutely tickled by this au, tbh. I think Hob needs to keep on scamming rich people and stealing their furniture as much as he wants.

Dream's requests for the design were basically "I want it all to be black" and also "leave me alone when I'm doing my art" - two things that Hob is a little bit disappointed about. He doesn't really care about interior design, but all black? Minimalism? Dream deserves better. And Hob definitely doesn't want to leave him alone! But if he can at least watch Dream, that's good enough for now.

He makes a few adjustments to what Dream requested. There's plenty of black, sure, but there's also stained glass and light streaming into the apartment. There's beautiful stone flooring in the kitchen (heated, of course). Hob gets the most amazing four poster bed for his new favourite client, all silk sheets and black-out curtains. He spends all day dreaming about making sweet love to Mr Endless in between those sheets.

And Dream seems to be getting used to having Hob around. Plus he begrudgingly approves of his design choices. Eventually he opens up about his miserable dating life, and Hob is always so sympathetic. He doesn't lay it on too thick (Dream is smart enough to spot a gold-digger!), he's just kind. Is Dream really making him into a better person?!

Well, maybe not. Hob is still a thief, and he's definitely still scamming his clients with the whole "vibrations" thing. He's also definitely perving on Mr Endess in the swimming pool. But when Dream does finally make a move and shyly kisses Hob while inspecting the latest updates to the interior design... Hob takes him to bed very gently. He lays Dream out on the silky sheets and fucks him so sweetly, so lovingly, telling him how worthy and beautiful he is. Things that Dream has never heard before.

Hob settles into the bed when Dream falls asleep on him afterwards - and rest assured, he intends to stay. Hopefully with a ring on his finger. But he's not getting ahead of himself, don't you worry.

[buffdaddyphoenix]

What the gen z ace attorney characters watch on tik tok

Apollo

Cat tik tok!!!

Gets a lot of motivational vid tik toks and hes rly not sure why

But its coz he's also on self-depreciation + mento ewness tik tok 💀

Athena

Dog tik tok

Is on workout tik tok and bookmarks all the vids but never does them 💀

Maya

Cmon u already KNOW she's on cosplay tik tok

Also on the horrific obscure meme/comedy tik tok

Has been using tik tok since it officially became tik tok from musical.ly so she's been there since the "hit or miss" days

Simon

Also on cosplay tik tok

(He and maya follow each other and send vids to each other frequently)

Also on Japanese tik tok

On eboy tik tok but he doesn't know why and is trying to get off it by tricking the algorithm but what he doesn't know is that he's making it worse and putting more eboy content on his fyp

Franziska

On lesbian tik tok

Idk why but she strikes me as the kind of gal to be on cottagecore tik tok and fashion tik tok too

Ema

Animal tik tok

Science tik tok

Watches vsauce too, probably

Kay

Hacker tik tok (even tho she doesn't know shit abt computers she likes to daydream abt implementing it as a great thief)

Gets a bunch of tik toks with those filters and uses all of them and posts all of her results!

Klavier

Sorry to break it to you but he's on normie weird-ass-horny-teenager-dancing tik tok

Hes prolly a tik tok celebrity and is the ones posting the vids tbh

Has been using it since musical.ly days (and was a celebrity on it too) and effortlessly transitioned to tik tok

Daryan

Right up there with klavier

EVEN HORNIER THO LIKE GOD

hes the one who makes the "duet this vid!" coz its a weird horny roleplay one u know how they go

Didn't start using it until he noticed klavier getting popular on it too so he joined in

They make horny duo tik tok dance vids together with their shirts off

Nahyuta

When he first came to the US he was quickly enamored with travelling tik toks abt khura'in

Spiritual tik tok

Keeps getting like tarot and astrology tik toks but he hates it coz it's like blasphemy

Cat tik tok!!!

Wocky

I havent played aa4 in literally forever but tell me why I can imagine wocky being absolutely bombarded with the "Amazon finds" tik toks and buying every little thing he sees off tik tok shop

Vera Misham

Tutorial/diy tik tok

Lots of recipes, art tips, mental health tips, etc. in her saved/likes

Asmr tik tok too !

Juniper Woods

COTTAGECORE TIK TOK NEED I SAY MORE

Frog tik tok, nature tik tok, u know the deal

Farm animal tik tok too

Is on horny anime tik tok but you'd never mf know it

Penny Nichols

Ma'am this cute girl is providing content on horny anime tik tok pardon u..........

If u have more ideas or disagree pls feel free to add them!!! I couldn't think of anything for robin newman, hugh o'connor, clay, and ....eustace... coz I haven't played aai2 yet lolll

[apoptoses]

JESS i’m having louis/armand/daniel brain rot again, i wanna know your thoughts 🥺 specifically like, are there any things that armand and daniel enjoyed during their DM years that you think they might pick back up with louis at trinity gate? i feel like in my head, daniel is always kind of the third wheel (at trinity gate, at least), but i’m really fascinated by the idea of LOUIS being the one to step into their world for a change

oh man oh man, I LOVE this question!! and i have so many thoughts!!

Movies: we know Louis watches movies from how he kept showing up at Lestat's in body thief to stare at his tv lol But I think Armand and Daniel have so many inside jokes from all of the weirdo movies they used to watch, or quotes that they repeat and Louis doesn't get it. So I think they'd really enjoy sitting him down and subjecting him to the Worst Hits of Armand's Movie Phase.

And Daniel especially would enjoy the validation that some of these are fuckin terrible films LOL They could mind gift back and forth about how insipid Louis finds the plot until Daniel is sitting there choking back laughter because finally, someone who agrees Time Bandits isn't that funny.

Video Games: I don't mean modern console games, I mean like classic arcade games and pinball machines. Which Armand probably has a whole room of them in the basement somewhere, lovingly restored and in perfect condition. And I think Louis would be a little hesitant- he seems like the type who acts 'above' certain things just because if he tries it and sucks at it he'll feel humiliated. But even he can't resist the siren call of PacMan and eventually he's knocked them both down on the scoreboard and taken the top spot.

(Also they like to go out a lot so sometimes they end up at like, Dave n Busters LOL Which is far more contentious because ugh, it's noisy and tacky and smells like that radioactive 'cheese' mortals cover their nachos with. But your jock!Louis headcanons have bewitched me and I think they could soothe him by getting him to shoot hoops on the basketball game)

Going Out-Out: Louis is such a homebody when left to his own devices and now that they've got Trinity Gate, home to whatever vampires want to stop by, what's the point in spending time among mortals?

So they'd ease him in with some random one-off classes ("Come, Louis, we've an appointment to learn to make fresh pasta tonight" "Yeah, I know, what's the point when we don't eat, just don't argue with him, it'll be fun" And you know what? It is). And then they'd take him to random stuff from the meetup app (or not so random, because both of them know Louis wouldn't be able to resist debating strangers at a weekly book club).

And then they're back to running around strange apartment buildings to meet up and coming artists, and accepting invites to follow their classmates down to a local bar, and crashing the sets of night shoots around New York. It goes better when it's the three of them because when someone is over it and ready to go home there's no obligation to stay and keep their partner company. No pressure to do anything but enjoy existing together out in the world for a few hours.

Special mentions:

board games (the more obscure the better)

travel (this time Louis and Daniel are more mentally present lol)

letting armand play sugar daddy and picking their outfits for the ballet (which leads to some altercations that have armand feeling like that post about 'help my subs have unionized')

weird 70s/80s craft nights (louis ends up gifting his tie dye shirt to lestat, armand and daniel send theirs to marius)

'treasure hunting' aka scamming the wealthy out of their art collections (louis doesn't care about the value, he does however feel some righteous indignation over important historical pieces being kept in vaults as some tech bro's 'investment'; daniel is just happy to finally understand how armand does it, and take part in it himself)

abusing kitchen gadgets (doesn't matter who you are, playing 'will it blend' can catch the fascination of even the most arrogant, erudite vampires)

[icedragonlizard]

I very much like my headcanons of all the villain-turned-dream-friends still being very flawed people one way or another.

I'd say that they could all be considered morally grey to various degrees. Some may be nicer than others, but overall I wouldn't really call any of them saints. None of them are irredeemably evil, and Kirby is friends with every single one of them, but they're all still flawed. And Kirby is basically their 'parole officer' as he keeps them all in check.

This post got quite long as I wrote everything I wanted, so I'm gonna post a 'Keep reading tag' down below.

Feel free to click on it if you'd like to see my interpretations on the flaws of some Kirby characters! I'll be covering Marx, Dark Meta Knight, Daroach, Magolor, Taranza, Susie and the mage sisters here.

Marx may be on Kirby's good side now as he's not looking to attempt conquest on Popstar again, but he's still essentially an agent of chaos. He's loud, he's obnoxious, he's widely known to be a prankster, and he loves getting a rise out of people. He enjoys causing scenes purely for the sake of it. And his sense of humor isn't exactly good at having tact, as he'll make jokes out of things that most others wouldn't dare do. He can be considered the most insufferable one out of the bunch.

But there are good qualities to him, too. Some people legitimately think he's the funniest guy alive, so there's that. Marx loves attention in general, regardless if it's bad or good attention, and so he gets delighted if someone likes him and enjoys his antics. He loves it when people decide to join him on mischief. If you're his friend, he'll often give you stuff to laugh about and you're likely to find yourself having fun with him. If he likes you enough, he'll even stand up for you if someone else antagonizes you. His friends are literally his homies.

He's still quite the wild creature, though. It requires a lot of patience and a lax/chill attitude to be able to put up with Marx. It's not uncommon for him to find ways to instigate chaos in Star Allies gatherings. But he CAN be forced to behave, albeit not always easily. Kirby and Magolor are the ones that can most easily get him to listen.

Dark Meta Knight is still a standoffish jerk with a temperament. He's rude, brutal, and isn't at all afraid to say things that might run shivers down people's spines. He's prone to violence if he feels even the least bit agitated. He's also a rather detached person that does not care to make friends with most of the other star allies, and is quite a big hater for the ones that get on his nerves. He has a bad habit of being too blunt about wishing death or general ill-will for people he hates.

Not just that, but I headcanon that Dark Mind is technically still alive as a neutralized little fragment that desperately needs assistance. DMK hasn't given up trying to bring DM back to its former glory, and is still devoted enough to do what DM asks of him to do. It's not actually as frightening as it sounds, though. Trying to bring DM back to its former glory may be impossible due to how much it'd take, so that threat may not warrant much concern, but DMK still strives for it.

But DMK can be kept in check at times by a few others in the cast. I headcanon that DMK is friends with Daroach, Adeleine, Ribbon and Kirby, and he does care about what they think of him. But I hc those are the only friends he has in the cast, as he's the dream friend with the least amount of friends. He doesn't care about anyone else. He's also willing to do art stuff with Adeleine, and will protect his friends from danger. But overall, DMK is still a ruthless son-of-a-gun.

Daroach has a notably kind-hearted side to him, but he's also absolutely still a thief. Some people are ticked off by his persistent thievery. He likes the challenge of breaking into certain areas and to see what's he capable of successfully stealing. This can get especially irritating for some if he's brought the entire squeak squad with him for these instances. Daroach also has a trollish/smug side to him, as he thinks it's funny to get reactions out of people as he steals from them.

He does have standards, though. There are people that Daroach will NOT steal from. This includes Kirby, Adeleine, the entirety of Ripple Star (he'd feel bad to rob from that planet) and he also respects Meta Knight enough to never steal anything from the Halberd. He's also a softy around Kirby. And there's times in the day where Daroach decides to be chill and not steal anything. He can be quite a laidback bro if he's your friend. He has a big sense of humor and if you don't mind him pulling lighthearted fast ones on you, he'll gladly do that.

But he's still our resident thief! Hahaha. And he often has a rather shady demeanor that might make some people put their guards up.

Magolor did make a well known apology and created an amusement park to back it up, but I headcanon he's still very much a flawed person. Much like his buddy Marx, Magolor is a mischievous prankster that likes getting a rise out of people at times, although he's much more tactful than the jester in this regard. There's other problems with Magolor, like how he often says awkward things that make it evident he doesn't have the best understanding of social cues. He also has a tendency to insert himself into things, due to still having a bit of an ego, and he can sometimes be a blatantly obvious suck-up.

It's also arguably somewhat flawed morality-wise on Magolor's behalf to have made all the masks he did for Merry Magoland. He had great intentions with that, as he wanted to honor many people with that, but he made a lot of them without permission. And it ended up being pretty awkward for some people to see the masks. Thankfully, it didn't elicit any reactions bad enough for Magolor to lose any friends, but he arguably should've gotten many people's permission first.

Magolor is still buds with Kirby despite his current flaws, though. And he actually cares about being liked and cares about making people have fun, and so he makes sure that he has standards accordingly for that. He also just has very weird ways of going on about trying to be a better person than what he was before. But regardless, he's trying!

Taranza may be mourning the death of his beloved queen, but as a matter of fact I do not headcanon him to be a complete softboy! Once enough time passed for him to start properly recovering from his loss, he's eventually started coming back to being a snobby rich-theater kid type of guy like he was before. He can be very bizarrely smug and confident at times. He has an iconic devious smile. He makes webs at people's homes with often trollish messages. Don't be surprised if he sneakily rearranges the stuff in your home without you looking.

And believe it or not, he also has a secretly vengeful and vindictive side to him. He'd love to torment and beat up everyone that picks on him. And because it was a dimensional mirror that corrupted his queen, he heavily resents the mirror world and talks smack about its inhabitants. Honestly if he saw a dimensional mirror again he'd love to break it and smash it to pieces. He also legit wants DMK to die.

But overall, Taranza is no serious bad guy anymore. He does have a definite nice and caring side to him. He's really grateful to all of his friends that have helped him out with his grief (especially Susie, who understands him better than anyone else does) and he'd panic like frick when one of his friends gets hurt. He doesn't want to lose any of his current friends, the last thing he needs is MORE things to grieve over. He's also glad to show people about flora. He's also still just a silly-ass rich theater guy that can be quite a big, dramatic handful.

Susie, while no longer the terrifying colonizer she once was, is still very much a corporate-minded woman with a lot of unhinged stuff going on with her. The HWC's practices are substantially improved in her rule compared to what it was in her dad's rule, but she still makes corny business decisions at times. She has a notable stubborn streak, and is often a bit too blunt and formal to people she isn't close enough to be friends with. She's also feisty and a bit too ruthless when it comes to combat, as it may require others to calm her down. And like Magolor, she gets awkward at times with her low understanding of social cues.

She's also still a mad-scientist at heart, although she's mostly stopped mechanizing people (except for those that explicitly WANT it) and has largely shifted to applying her mad-scientist desires on inanimate objects such as toys and accessories. I headcanon that Susie has an entire hobby of making super-detailed custom furbies as I wrote a post about it. But despite the improved shift, she often gets way ahead of herself when experimenting on inanimate objects to the point that the final result of her creations are pretty darn freaky and unnerving to some people. She really loves doing it, though! And the unhinged level of detail to her creations can be hilarious to some.

Susie does have friends that she cares about, and she lets them reign her in as she doesn't want to disappoint them. And despite usually being rather cold, she's not entirely without her kind moments. Susie is at her nicest when interacting with Taranza and Kirby, and she has other friends like Magolor and the mage sisters that she can be great with. Her friends are the one thing that help motivate her to get better. But despite that, Susie is still absolutely a big handful in terms of flaws. She's still a vindictive, standoffish, corporate mad-scientist that's ballsy enough to constantly snap back during confrontations!

The Mage Sisters are still chaotic menaces. They're exceptionally grateful to Kirby and co. for saving them and Hyness in HiAD, and so they definitely ain't doing that Void Termina crap again, but these women still engage in absurdly violent and bombastic activities. They love to destroy random buildings for no real reason other than just for kicks and giggles. They cackle like hyenas when they cause mischief.

Francisca is perhaps the most obviously flawed mage sister, as she literally keeps her frozen trophy collection and even tries to expand it! That's a bruh moment. It doesn't exactly help that she's close buddies with Marx as those two will just make some absolutely absurd hijinks together. Her relatively quiet nature can also be rather unnerving. It's not all bad, though, as she can be genuinely sweet to people that she cares about. And she's kind enough to give you free water with her soda gun if you'd like that, but overall she's an extraordinary freak.

Flamberge is the nicest of the three mage sisters, but she still has her fair share of chaos as she loves causing big booms with her fire abilities. She can be considered a daredevil with that sort of thing. Another notable flaw with her is that she lets Francisca get away with anything. She will NEVER hold her psychotic blue sister accountable. And there's of course her temperament, but she's surprisingly chill a lot of the time and is really only angry if given an actual reason to be.

Zan Partizanne can be quite rude with excessive name-calling, as she has a mentality of "it goes both ways" when her name can't be said right. If you can't say her name right, then she'll make it even by giving you some unhinged nickname. She also has a guilty pleasure of starting playful bickering matches with people purely for fun. That being said, she's something of a leader alongside Hyness at the Jambandran base and is always glad to help guide people around the place, but she can overall be quite a standoffish and feisty person.

The mage sisters do care about trying to be better, though. They want to make Kirby proud as he's essentially their little hero. They're still incredibly unhinged people by virtue of being raised in a literal cult, though, and they still love to start ruckuses and cause chaos. With the amount of mischief they cause with their weapons, it may be wise to keep some distance as to not get caught in their weapons' range.

-----

That's basically everything I got. All these characters are still very flawed people to me. They're all redeemable to various extents, but yeah. I like to think that they all need occasional slaps on the wrists by Kirby. He's their 'parole officer' like I said at the beginning of the post. He keeps them in check. And it works as they all respect him!

But despite sometimes slapping them on the wrists, Kirby does care about all these people. He's friends with all of them. He cheers them on as they progress in life. When they do good things, he's proud of them! He also can't help but feel sorry for the more traumatized ones.

Kirby has remarkable tolerance. He can basically be friends with bad people, lol. He always has faith and sees the good in people. He's the perfect little guy to motivate people to get better. He can keep someone in check from doing bad things, and is merciful enough to always give them a second chance. Man, thank this universe for Kirby!

Thanks for reading if you did. See you for the next one.

[sweettjrose]

Nobody asked me to do this and yet I'm doing it anyways...

I'm gonna explain why I ship Blotis...

Now before you say anything I am 100% aware that this is a crack ship and honestly doesn't have much evidence for it even less than usual for a gay Disney ship. Tbh I was introduced to it because so people made some art for it and I thought it was interesting and then as I played around with the idea more in my head, I started to like it and eventually form a story around it.

I think one of the big appeals for the relationship is just how unique of an idea it is. It's definitely not the first ship you think of when reading the comics which is probably why most people don't think of it at all. But even just the concept is kind of out there. I mean you have a costumed phantom thief paired with a mad scientist? That doesn't really happen with the closest ship I can think of being Voxman (From OK KO) but even that's still a bit different.

But while it is out there it's not like it makes zero sense at all. I mean while I'm not aware of any comic interactions that could hint to any possible feelings, I could still see it happening with some version of themselves. I mean they do have similar interests. The most obvious being the fact that they are criminals who scheme ways to obtain massive amounts of money and power.

But even beyond that both of them have an interest in science and technology and using it to devise all sorts of inventions. Both of them are pretty intelligent and have devised all sorts of weird scientific contraptions. But what's cool about that is while they go about it in different ways. Portis is more of a scientist, interested in the process and theory behind it, while Blot is more of an engineer, more interested in the application.

Together they form sort of a symbiotic relationship as they both can help build on each other's knowledge and skills to both get what the other needs and further build on their own plans. But even the fact that they excel in different areas kind of gives an opposite attracts vibes. As one is associated more with refinement and wealth, and the other feels more associated with "grunginess" in my interpretation sorry Portis and doing the best with what he has. I can see them both introducing eachother to a completely different way of living, but also connect in some areas like both being somewhat introverts.

But what I think is also cool about this relationship is also how it affects their relationships with other people. The Phantom Blot works quite a bit with Pete, but he alternates between seeing him as a decent partner or not really respecting him and betraying him the first chance he gets. However that starts to change if he has feelings for Pete's cousin, as now that will affect how he is able to treat Pete. He can't just betray him anymore. It ties him about closer to groups they tend to be a part of and affects how he has to interact with them.

Plus I think it would be interesting to see how the Blot's reputation would affect Portis and his relationship with other characters. There's are quite a few who aren't a bit fan of the Blot and it would be interesting for them to explore how to get around that.

But on another note, I actually think that their relationship is one of the few ones that they would be comfortable with having. I feel like one of the biggest reasons why both would avoid romance is because it could give someone a way to threaten and blackmail them. And it becomes worse if the partner isn't really part of the criminal underworld or capable of defending themselves. However they both are very familiar with the criminal underworld and can protect themselves rather well. So even if someone were to try to "kidnap" the other for blackmail, it wouldn't be easy and likely not worth it. Therefore allowing them to have a relationship without the typical fear and drawbacks. Though personally I think they would still keep their relationship on the down low so they have control over how it's percieved and just because they don't think everyone needs to know.

I could see some issues with their relationship. They both have pretty big egos and would have a hard time compromising in arguments. But that would make it more interesting imo.

But yeah that's my thoughts.

So there you have it.

Hopefully you can see the vision too.

This is long.

[montywithchildhoodtrauma]

Hazbin hotel Little headcannons

Its long!

Characters:

Lucifer, Alastor, Vox.

Lucifer:

(Man is really interesting to think about, I had fun with this one)

Age: 1-5

Preferred caregiver is Lilith.

Technically, he started regressing after he fell. Neither Lilith nor him knew what it was, so they just called it 'fuzzy head' as that was the only way Lucifer could ever explain it.

Not a lot of resources at the beginning of the world. 'Fuzzy head' time was often Lucifer curled up in Lilith's lap as they looked at the sky together.

Of course after a while, sitting wasn't really 'fun' so the two would often wander around their new world (Hell) together as Lucifer pointed out objects in the ground or weird trees.

Hes a very clingy baby and usually needs to be around someone.

Big feelings, he often has a hard time regulating himself and needs to be calmed down.

The way they figured out that Lucifer started 'Fuzzy head' for the first time was in a very... compromising situation. (ie: Just making out, nothing too crazy. I'm not a monster) Lucifer burst into tears because he didn't know what was going on and he didn't feel good. Lilith stopped, very confused. Neither of them knew what to do, well... Lilith didn't know what to do, Lucifer, was crying his little heart out and wasn't really explaining what was wrong.

Once hell started getting more populated, down time for them became harder and harder to find. ie, 'fuzzy head' was also harder to do. (Until they had a sort of system going on for them)

Have you ever shaken a soda bottle with the cap still on? That's kinda what it feels like to shove your little time down while busy. Imagine you keep shaking the bottle, you shake it and shake it until, BANG! The cap pops off and the soda erupts and gets all over the place. That my friends is what repression is! Guess who does that while busy! I'll give you one guess.

Meltdowns, lots of meltdowns.

He's the BESTEST helper in the whole wide world! (He does more damage than good, but don't tell him that.)

Cartoons don't really interest him, stories though, thats the good stuff. This frusterates Lilith when she needs to do something and Lucifer keeps saying "Jus one more tory, pease Lilif?"

When hes older he's a little more independent, but he still needs to be able to see someone he trusts. (ie, Lilith.

Talking about having a baby was... hard. At first Lilith was worried that Lucifer would regress while watching them and both of them might get hurt.

"I already have a child darling. Did you forget?" "I already have you sweetheart, and you cause me enough trouble as it is" (Meant lovingly)

When they did have Charlie Lilith watched the two like a hawk and hardly left the two alone together.

One morning however, was different. Lucifer had heard Charlie crying first and went to comfort her. A few hours later Lilith wakes up to find a half empty bed and the crib empty. After a half panicked search of the 'house' she found Charlie sat in front of the tv and a bunch of cardboard story books, while laying on Lucifer who was lying on the floor while coloring. (Something tells her she needs to Lucifer proof the house)

Loves playing big brother with other littles, even when hes clearly younger. Angel's 6? Well Lucifer's clearly 7(cough cough 4 cough cough, sorry something was stuck in my throat) Wait- Alastors 9!? LUCIFER'S 12-

Overall shorts, Lucifer loves him some overall shorts.

SOFT BIG SWEATERS! (Who else loves that tho?)

Arts and crafts!

Baby's a sweet tooth.

Duck plushy. Need I say more?

Hes a rather intelligent little and knows how to get what he wants from people.

Alastor:

Age: 4-10

Only really regresses if he knows that it's been too long. (other times he gets tricked into it, which takes an absurd amount of time)

Rosie is his preferred caregiver.

Don't touch him.

He doesn't get too small often.

It doesn't matter if hes older or younger, hes a big bully.

He was the last person to figure out that he regresses.

Tiny thief (CHAR CHAAAR! HE TOOK MY TOY!) (GIVE IT BACK!)

Fairly independent and doesn't really interact with the others.

He can be left alone in a room and you can expect him to still be there a few hours later.

Doesn't like being around any male adults. (The only person who can be around him is Husker, but that's mostly because... kitty)

Sensory toys are nice.

He will throw something at you if you offer to put something on the tv, don't you dare offer that filth to him.

He doesn't really like stuffies. unless someone (Lucifer/Vox) has a stuffie, then he HAS to have it.

Boy knows the timeout corner better than anyone. (he even wrote his name in it.... which got him another five minutes but lets not talk about that)

Black hole child. He's always hungry.

Random screams. Everything will be quiet, then all the sudden he drops what hes doing and starts screaming, then sits back down as if nothing happened.

Very particular about how the toys are put away.

Husker doesn't stick around when Alastor is little, the boy tends to tug on his fur.

THAT'S NOT HOW THE TOYS GO! Very particular

Why are all the dog plushies in the trash?

Doesn't like plastic sippy cups. Hes a big boy! He can handle a big kid cup!

He can't handle a big kid cup.

Puts on shows for his CG(s).

Vox:

Age: 0-4 (Sometimes teen space)

He was a regressor before he died.

Preferred Cg is Velvette & Val.

Sleepy boy.

Night light baby.

Glow in the dark stars.

Quiet play time.

RANDOM BURST OF CHAOTIC ENERGY!

Nap time.

Snack child, no meals juuust snacks.

He and Val could watch Sensory videos for hours if Velvette let them.

Paint! All over the walls! How nice!

Paint sticky, must throw a tantrum to get rid of paint.

NO DON'T WANNA BATH TO GET RID OF SAID PAINT HE JUST COMPLAINED ABOUT!

Hunting games! (definitely not gonna shoot every deer he spots)

Action figures!

Shocking himself! (its funny! It also doesn't hurt, just tickles)

Doesn't like plastic sippy cups. Hes a big boy! He can handle a big kid cup!

He can't handle a big kid cup. (Hmm where have we seen that before?)

Doesn't stay in time out.

HE WILL BLOW UP THAT STUPID CORNER IF HE HAS TO GO BACK IN IT AGAIN!

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH HIM ALIVE!

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" "Noo!" (Said while doing a very obvious potty dance)

Padded Regressor.

He can do things all by himself!

Onesie all day long baby!

HE DOESN'T WANNA GO TO BED! HES GONNA STAY UP ALL NI-

Aaaand hes down.

.............

Part two?

@bootyyyyyyshakerrrr9000

[tezzbot]

congrats on finishing your essay! :))

Love your Sonic Underground au, btw! I need some lore drops on my boy, Manic, tho. It doesn't even have to be a long explanation. Something goofy like, how many times has he been arrested?

Also! Do the triplets eventually form a band? [side-eye]

Oh my goodness, hello!! I love your art so much it's all so cool!!!! Thank you lol!

Some stuff about Manic in the au lets see...

He was kidnapped as a baby after the triplets had been sent halfway across the continent for their own safety, whoops lol, he's quite charismatic, must always have been since he managed to endear himself to Ferral pretty much immediately lol, he grew up pretty much similarly to the canon of underground, getting by stealing where he has to bartering and stuff, he's part of his own found family within the city and they're all very close, a tight-knit little community of thiefs sfgdhj, though every so often one or two of them decide to spread out (though they stay in touch), which is actually the reason for Manic's being on the train alongside the others, he has family he misses! And he has some things to get to them! (little does he know he'll be meeting more family than he anticipated lol) Though he's never actually been out of the city he grew up in himself (despite what he may claim lol), uhh he is very technically minded he loves to tinker and making little thingamajigs and doohickeys that look like they wouldn't have any practical use but he usually finds a way lol, nothing, like, robotic like Tails does, he's more a manual guy fdsgfgdf, aaand just a random headcanon he's fairly dyslexic n has some trouble reading, he usually has someone help him. There's also gender happening to him :thumbsup:

As for how many times he's been arrested lol uhhhh I think that early on he was pulled up a few times, probably spent some time in juvie, but he hasn't actually been caught in quite a while, I don't imagine Manic gets caught all that often lol you know those videos of kids running from cops and the police just making absolute clowns of themselves trying to catch them? That's Manic JHGJFG

So wrt the band, I'm sort of playing around with ideas right now? The main idea that I'm running with is that, the medallions only react to them when the triplets are getting along, when there is harmony between them (eehh? geddit? lol) that's the only time that they are able to be activated. Which, given the rocky start that they all have with one another obviously takes time, with Sonic being reluctant to share pretty important info with them and generally keeping his distance from them, Sonia's frustration with him and her being Very mad at Manic for scamming her, not much harmony going on for a fair bit of the journey. Eventually the three of them do get along and discover the powers of the medallions and they do perform a few times throughout. Eventually Sonic does spill that they're family and after the reactions they come up with the idea to use their music to get their mothers attention, Sonic is hesitant etcetc. I DUNNO! I'm still futzing with it lol I'll decide on stuff eventually fdghfg

Oh and I do want Sonia and Manic to have their own powers like a lesser version of Sonic's speed but, again, still deciding LOL

Anyway! Sorry this got so long lol, I've thought a lot about this AU! Thank you for the qs!!

OH ALSO Manic uses "bro" and "brother" on Sonic just as a casual thing but the first few times Sonic is like .Does He Know... GJFHG OKAY I'M DONE

[izzyspussy]

white collar crime au where stede bonnet's father is a retired white collar fbi agent who fell in love with and married the wealthy heiress whose stolen painting he once recovered, but they were ultimately incompatible due to their differing up-bringings and lifestyles and eventually got divorced and he got half of her assets and stede, who he resents for having the same born privilege as his ex-wife and that he himself is still obsessed with gatsby style

stede grows up learning all about criminals and in particular of course white collar and organized criminals, as per his father's area of expertise. he gets landmark and cold cases instead of bedtime stories, his father reliving his own glory days and the romanticized glory days of his heroes, who he fantasizes he could have become like if he hadn't let love and fatherhood ruin the more important things in life.

of course, stede is meant to also be glorifying the so-called good guys. but he resents his father right back, and resents his mother too for leaving him with the man, so he doesn't particularly feel for nor identify with the victims either. and so the only characters left to admire are the thieves.

as stede grows up, he obviously chooses not to follow in his father's footsteps, and yet still keeps abreast (as well as he can as a civilian, but his father's name does get him quite a bit of favor, especially when wielded in combination with his mother's wealth) with the most glamorous white collar cases. and he becomes obsessed with the devious blackbeard and his mysterious nameless partner in crime.

the legends say the duo can steal from anyone, forge anything, escape from anywhere. there are rumors that blackbeard himself is not quite fully human, harkening back to the most glamorous periods of crime of all - rockabilly bank robbers, wild west outlaws, golden age pirates. he can walk through walls, travel by shadow, shapeshift, put a curse on a troublesome lawman with merely a look. of course, all but the most superstitious fence or beat cop knows none of that is true, including stede, but isn't it a romantic tale to tell anyway?

eventually, stede finds himself falling into his father's steps. he resents his wife, his children, his lack of career. and he can't bear to become any more like him, and he convinces himself it's for the best for mary and the kids too - after all his dad was hellish to live with, worse to be raised by, so it's a blessing if stede abandons them before he can treat them badly, right? so, equipped with enormous wealth and more connections to the underbelly of society than a law abiding citizen should reasonably have, stede manages to run away as a nearly fifty year old man in the modern world.

and, well, he's already doing that so he might as well get into a little crime too. so he starts trying to live out his romanticized fantasies of robbery. he tries to be - drum roll please - a gentleman thief.

in the process, he crosses meets blackbeard, whose real name is ed teach, and his partner izzy hands. (in this version, izzy's derogatory nickname is "sticky hands" instead of "dizzy izzy" because unfortunately the white collar crime world is actually very nearly as stuffy and classist as the world they steal from, and while the two of them have handily obscured edward's background such that he seems to have sprung fully grown from the head of a stolen diamond or whatever, they've not done that for izzy and as such having grown up poor he is branded as a petty thief, no better than a shoplifter, despite the fact he can and does rob circles around the rest, even now at two or even three times their ages.)

ed tells stede, "you know, the whole gentleman thief thing, that's just in tv shows, mate." and stede tells ed, "until now!" and well... being a regular art thief was fun when it was a challenge, when there was still anyone bothering to try to catch them (the newest classes out of quantico don't even believe they're real, just a moniker all the unsolvable cases get thrown under). back when ed was taking all the low expectations society had of him and turning them into something high out of reach of anyone else. it's boring now, he's done it all, and it never satisfied him. never made him feel any better.

but maybe the gentleman thing could freshen it all up again, make it interesting. add a new challenge. wear suits and be charming and don't hurt anyone. maybe even pull some type of robin hood shit...

that could be fun.