#<— that tag has never been more accurate btw

[padfootastic]

hi pen since youre giving out free advice and youre good at the economy can you please help me budget my time better

cooking: 20min/d

cleaning: 15 min/d

work: 60 min/d

making yn wattpad remus pipeline memes on the s&ps server: 13 hrs/d

writing: 7 min/d

please my family is dying

you know dani ur ‘good at the economy’ comment couldn’t have come at a better time bc i was JUST looking at my budgeting app and wondering where tf all my money went???

actual text i sent 6 minutes ago:

so uh. thanks.

moving on to the advice part of this equation: well. clearly ur problem is the non-essential tasks (cooking, cleaning, work etc etc) and the inefficiency of the y/n wattpad memes smh. bad, bad job dani. u should sooner move back to ur old memri memes business if this is what ur going to be doing.

[sidewalk-scrawls]

Honestly I think a lot of political fracturing in the US comes down to an absolute refusal to listen to other perspectives. It's uncomfortable to process information that challenges your world view, and the knee-jerk reaction is to reject the information causing that discomfort! But discomfort isn't actually a good reason not to listen.

Listening isn't endorsement. Understanding people's motivations isn't endorsement. And both of those things are *crucial* for understanding the complex systems that make up the world.

[thegreatwicked]

Writing Resources Part 2

My first list was so long I decided that I reached the character limit! So we have a part two! I'm going to try and keep them a bit more organized too! Hope these help you all in your writing endeavors and if you happen to use any of them try to give the original source some love!

Also, apologies if I've tagged you more than once and it's annoying! If I reference your material more than twice I will just link your whole Tumblr. I really do want to make sure everyone gets their credit and spotlight!

General Information and Research:

The Fantasy Guide to Royal and Noble Marriages or anything by @inky-duchess Her blog is extensive and is a wealth of information regarding things like royalty/nobility/Period social politics and is a fantastic resource, go check her out! Ink I do appologize I might be tagging you more than once!

@type1diabetesinfandom This blog is an amazing resource if you are interested in writing about characters with any form of diabetes or similar health issues. It was ana amzing find when I was writing my character Belladonna Black from Shadows of Deception who is hypoglycemic. What an amazing source!

How to Cook in a Medieval Setting: by @alpaca-clouds Food is the best way to know a culture and this particular blog post is a trove of information for your fictional foodie set anywhere in this spectrum of time or a great find for a fictional setting! This post obviously gets a chefs kiss!

The Symbolism of Flowers by @novlr Yeah! Leopold knew what he was talkign about, every flower has a meaning and it is entirely possible to send some a bouquette that translates to 'Fuck You' btw it consists of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing. THE MORE YOU KNOW. This blog is also a fantastic source for writers.

Writing About Body Pain by @slayingfiction I just came across this gem of a blog and if you're one who likes to make your characters sufffer than look no further, also, how ya doing? You ok? Just checking. This blog is also a fantastic writing resource.

How to Accurately Describe Pain in Writing by @hayatheauthor kinda piggybacking off the previous source but nevertheless lets make sure we make these characters suffer realistically? I'm ok too, if you're wondering. This is another great blog that focuses on the aspect of being a writer.

How to Use Canva to Make Mood Boards by @saradika I did not know much about mood baords but I'm telling you they are a gaem changer! They bring a life to your story in a way that is just so stunning and saradika has been so lovely as to make this helpful guide! She's also a very talented writer and is quite the Star Wars Fan! GO check out her stories!

Researching as a Writer by @so-many-ocs Research is a tricky topid to delve into and sometime sit hard to know where to start, this blogger has been so kinda as to make a bit of a roadmap to help you narrow down what you need to research and how. Wonderful blog! Very helpful!

Resources for Writing Deaf, Mute, or Blind Characters by @thecaffeinebookwarrior THIS! This right here is a gem and the only reason I don't write these types fo characters is because I've never known how to do so respectfuly and realistically! Not a problem anymore! Also a wonderful artist!

How to Write and Research a Mental Illness another gem from @hayatheauthor again if you're going to wrote a character with a mental illness lets make sure we get it right!

@namesforwriters It's little but a wonderful source of unique names for your story! Including mythology and music themed names!

Nightmare Disorder vs Night Terrors by @redd956 Some great clarification from a blogger who is diagnosed! So happy I found this as I was wondering about the distinction myself for a little while!

Types of Gemstones by @blueboxbeagle and brought to my attention by @keffirinne

A General Cane Guide for Writers and Artists by @deoidesignand brought to my attention but @cripplecharacters I was so excited to find this fantastic little gem recently and I look forward to using it! I'm keeping an eye out for more material in portraying characters with disabilities and disorders maybe it'll get it's own post!

@cripplecharacters linking this amazing blogger if you are wanting to expand your characters and write them with disabilities or diaper fees, this is a wonderful source of how to do it and stay respectful!!

@writingwithcolor use that painters pallet and write diverse characters and when you’re not sure what or how to write something check this blog out! Such a wonderful source for all questions concerning ethnicity, race and diversity!

@writinglgbtq I was looking for this blog!!! Your source for all things concerning writing the LGBTQ community respectfully and believably! So happy to ah e found this!!

@macgyvermedical I have been looking for a blog like this for some time and I'm so happy to add it to my writing resources list as tehre are far too many great and helpful posts to pick just one. Check out this amazing blogger who offers medical beta reads and asks for fanficiton!

Make it Pretty! My own contribution to help make writing a bit prettier! ꧁☽✶☾✶☽꧂ Enjoy!

Adding Page Breaks & Art to Your Stories Another of my own contributions for adding in nice clean page breaks to your stories as well as how to upload art to AO3, FFN and Wattled.

More will be added to this post as I find it and if you find anything that fits the general research on broad topics or specifics please let me know so I can continue this collective writing resource! And make sure to give some of these wonderful writers and bloggers some love!

[sunny-speaks]

Househusband Harper Headcanons

Hello, hello !! I am going to be redoing some blog design stuff when I WORK UP THE MOTIVATION-- so if the blog name changes, y’all know why!!

Anyway, I've been deep diving for Harper crumbs to accurately write him as one does. (gotta get everything lore accurate, would not be able to live with a too OOC in any of my fictional literature./hj)

AND I KNOW HE WOULD RATHER HAVE YOU BE THE AT-HOME PERSON AND WHATNOT while he works but hear me out… He would be such a good househusband, alright? AUHG- Everything's under the cut, lol.

also Harper is from @campwillowpeak !! I can remove the tag btw, if you don't wanna be tagged in further works ;-;

So maybe the two of you had been married for years. Doesn’t make Harper feel any less happy when you introduce him to people as your husband or when he sees the ring on your hand that he bought for you before you leave the house, it always leaves him with a tingly feeling.

After all, now you’re his. And doesn’t that sound just lovely?

Harper’s got that side job of his to keep the both of you financially stable, as long as you don’t ask too many questions about it.

He doesn’t understand why you need to go work, when the two of you could be comfortable at home from his profits.

Especially when he has more than enough to keep you happy with him!

But if that’s what his partner wants, who is he to deny you?

He’s always anxious to let you leave the house, you’re so magnificent, what if on your way home, some creep tries to hit on you?

He knows you wouldn’t cheat on him and that you can defend yourself, but… but wouldn’t it be safer to just be at home with you?

Or worse, what if one of your coworkers, god forbid your boss, tried to… coerce you into something!

He knows you always wear your wedding ring, and he made sure that it was shiny enough to show people how much he loved you. (Material objects could never dare to show anyone how much he loved you. He loves you sooo much and he knows you love him too !)

But there are a lot of ignorant people out there! 

If you let him, Harper's be more than glad to mark you up, stake his claim so your peers know exactly who you’re married to.

“Cara miaaa,” Your husband looked up at you with wide, pleading, unfaltering eyes, “You said your coworkers were giving you trouble, right?” He’d practiced saying it without violently cursing out your coworkers. You wouldn’t like it if he was mean about them… Even if it was true.

“Unfortunately, yeah. They can’t take a hint, even with this.” You gestured to your wedding ring. “I don’t get how it’s so hard for them to understand I’m a faithful spouse…”

And with that, Harper set his plan into action. “Y’know… we could do something a bit more drastic, if you wish, dear?”

Your eyes glinted with a hint of mischief. “And what would that be, Harp?” You had a vague idea what he was hinting at, but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Mm, just showing them how much I looove you… and maybe biting you.” He muttered the last part to himself, a light flush making its way to his face. He had not prepared too much on how to convince you.

“You mind giving me a little preview?” You sat yourself down on the couch and beckoned him towards you with a finger.

“Not at all, cara mia.”

But there are some pros to being alone when you’re gone!

Harper being your dutiful househusband means he can and will do anything and everything for you !

(And indulge himself in certain activities while you’re gone)

He also has complete control over everything you sleep in, you eat, you wear.

So if you notice some odd stains on your clothes or weird tastes in your food, he doesn’t know what you’re talking about ! Do you not like the food he spent so much time preparing? Or the laundry he did to take a load off your back ?

It’s not his fault he gets so lonely when you’re gone ! It’s just because he misses you so much !

You should just quit your job, you know? It’s so dangerous ! That boss of yours was targeted by an arsonist ! (Because he had the nerve to try and touch you.) Gosh, what if you were next ?! (Harper would never do that to you though… <3)

You should just listen to your husband, he’s so worried for you ! Won’t you pleaaase hear him out?

[scienceoftheidiot]

Tag game for fanfiction authors !

I was tagged by both @the-blue-eyed-firebender and @lassusog, thank you so much to both of you !!

The story you're proudest of: 

I have two in mind, but I will be talking about the other one later, and I want to talk about a finished one. I’m incredibly proud of us, @qs63 and myself, for “My own worst friend and my own closest enemy” (does it surprise anyone that I am the one who chose the title? BTW fun fact, it comes from the same song as my username). I’m proud of us for  writing a four hands fic relatively seamlessly, and managing to get to the end of it in a relatively short time. It was a blast from start to finish, and I’m also glad it seems to still get love a year after we finished publishing. Bonus, it’s still very fun to re-read for me because I only wrote 50% of it so I don’t remember everything and I get surprised every time haha. We managed to make a fic that also delves into character study for both BH and 03 Roy and Riza, and that was INCREDIBLY FUN. Best time. 

Your story that's gotten the most love online:

We don’t talk about failures Murdocks Never Quit in this house so let’s talk about one I’m actually proud of (at least I did learn from my mistakes). Besides, it seems to have gotten that much insane love without me even knowing or being told it so uh. Nevermind. That just couldn't work, could it.

Of course since it’s a very long fic with multiple chapters the one which has received the most love is All the hope (not that people read more long fics but statistically more people are exposed to it thanks to the new chapters updates), which I am very proud and insanely happy about, because at first I wasn’t even planning to publish it. And now I’m gladly on the way to finish this monster of a fic and already planning the second part. Go figure XD but I am so so grateful for everyone who has given a chance to it and for those who keep on reading. Extra bonus for you who leave all these detailed comments at each chapters, all of you, you have no idea how you’ve kept me afloat all year. And kept/keep me writing. All the love for you. Thank you so much. 

Tease a current WIP or idea you're working on: 

I’m already thinking of what I could do once I’m done publishing All the hope, and I have some WIPs lying around. The most developed one has already been partially written, and I’m considering trying to start posting it with a long delay between chapters, to allow me to work on multiple things at once. Not sure it’s a good idea, though. This one, some of my followers might know about, has for working name “1923”, and explores the lives of the Roy and Riza of OUR universe that we don’t get to see in Conqueror of Shamballa. I couldn’t NOT have fun with sending Roy into WW1, I mean, ME. SENDING CHARACTERS INTO WW1? HOW SURPRISING. I even managed to find a historically accurate way to send Riza to war without making a nurse out of her (which. No. No nurse Riza for me, unless you count her nursing Roy back to health)(of course, who do you think I am, you know what I write). There’s of course all the other characters that pop up here and there. And yes of course this is 100% Royai lol (UPDATE : I don't know what possessed me. It's a Royai fic alright. However. There are surprises in it. If I don't mention that I know someone will come and kill me with her bare hands. Lol. Royai with a twist I guess?)

Your top 3 fandoms:

I don’t know if I can count FMA 03 and Brotherhood/manga as different fandoms lol so FMA, Daredevil (comics or show, but they ARE different characters)(I'm more of a comics Matt lover, to everyone's surprise), and Ripper Street (everyone watch Ripper Street please and you will thank me after wanting to kill me). 

Your top 3 ships:

Royai, Havoroyai (didn’t specify I can’t have OT3), Havoroy yes there is a pattern here.

Wait was I supposed to talk about different fandoms? Then Matt/Karen and Edmund/his hat (and anyone who would be willing to give some love to this disaster of a man). 

Rec someone else's fic:

Your Warmth Against My Scars by @lassusog. Just. It’s just so good. Perfect angst, perfect characterisation, and so, so, so good on all parts I just can’t seem to find the words and it makes me insane. Read it if you haven’t already, re-read it if you have, which is what I’m planning to do. 

Pick one!

Fluff or Angst (or both, they gotta earn the fluff)

Oneshots or longfics

Canon compliance or canon divergence

AO3 or FF.net

I tag @qs63, @wellbehaveddolphin, I think all the other royai people have been tagged already ? My memory is Swiss cheese so if you haven't and you see this, please do it. And I'll extend to @mabonetsamhain, @residentdormouse, @littleragondin and @riotbrrrd :)

[a-lonely-dunedain]

I got tagged by @the-journey-was-the-point for this headcanon game! basically you just plug an OC's name into this headcanon generator and see whether or not what it spits out fits your OC(s)

first up is Tossdir I guess

"Tossdir watches my little pony"

afuyfdgahsjdghjkahsd ok how did they know the last thing I drew was an mlp/lotr thing... anyway yeah sure why not. I think he would casually enjoy it. I feel like Ethedis would be a bigger mlp fan tho, so he probably watches it because of her (a bonding activity <3). his favorite pony is Rainbow Dash btw

"Tossdir can drive"

yes and no. in a modern setting I always envisioned him with a motorcycle, so he can drive that just fine, but DO NOT let this man behind the wheel of a car

"Tossdir got hit by a bus once"

Maybe.

next up Ethedis

"Ethedis's least favourite subject in school was Gym."

yes, accurate. her favorite subject was Everything But Gym. she's a nerd. a scholar with noodley scholar arms. while you studied the blade she... just studied I guess. there's a reason LMs don't get sword proficiency til like level 40 lmao

"Ethedis is a cry baby."

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO COME FOR HER LIKE THAT. she only cries for good reason! the epic line just.... gives a lot of good reasons to cry :(

"Ethedis nearly drowned in a river as a child."

she was just trying to talk to the fish ok??? leave her alone

Margim is up next!

"Margim steals other peoples clothes."

hmmm probably not. I think she's the kind of person who has like 2 outfits that she wears until they can't be worn anymore, she's just piratical like that (meaning she hasn't yet learned she's allowed to have/want more than the bare basics needed to survive)

"Margim bites their nails."

I mean she probably has some sort of nervous habits, but nothing quite as obvious as nail-biting. it's the sort of thing you wouldn't easily notice. like just getting even quieter than usual or suddenly being unable to maintain eye-contact. maybe she fidgets with her hand but only when it's in her pocket so you can't see.

"Margim is afraid to close their eyes in the shower."

yeah she probably would be a bit jumpy in a shower. not only is it loud but she's also unarmed! she might get soap in her eyes this way but it's better than being ambushed!

and let's do a few for Celeair

"Celeair tackles and wrestles people to show affection."

lmao I'd like to see him try. but no fr I don't think he would even if he could, he definitely likes physical affection, but in a more gentle way, like cuddles and hand-holding and tender forehead kisses

"Celeair is in your house"

well, I am currently rotating him in my mind, so does that count as being in my house? he's not in your house tho, person reading this.

"Celeair is smart but also very stupid."

truer words have never been spoken.

annnd let's do some of my less developed OCs for funsies!

"Elwar crashed a riding lawn mower into their fence."

yeah she probably would. she would try to hide it and pretend she didn't tho

"Ciriondil cries while watching disney movies."

Ciriondil doesn't strike me as a disney adult lmao, but more broadly speaking about animated family movies in general? depends on the movie but yeah I think he would, and he wouldn't be ashamed about it either!

"Lothrandon speaks only in meme refrences."

even in a modern setting I am 100% confident this man does not know enough memes to use them in casual conversation. but I do think he would be part of online communities for outdoor hobbyists (like fishing and wilderness camping fourms) and would understand/share boomer memes from those niece communities

"Nimelloth has a pet lizard"

I have just decided that this is true and his name is Lothrandon II. Lothrandon is not aware that his wife named a lizard after him.

and oh gosh right I have to tag people now. uh I do not know who has been tagged already but here! @rohirric-hunter @aurore-parle-de-ses-idees @find-the-path @sweetearthandnorthernsky

[infamousmonkey-cat]

okayyy so i finally finished re: dracula (i know, i fell behind, in my defence *haunting banshee scream*)

anyway i haven't been following the tag or whatever so i don't know what's been discussed already but here we go, thoughts time (dracula spoilers obvs). i'm confining my reactions to the text rather than the production fwiw

first of all this is not my first time reading/experiencing 'dracula'; i actually did a whole module on vampire literature during my erasmus year, but that was over a decade ago (i shan't say how much over). some parts i remembered pretty well, others much less so

i feel like i've seen a lot of complaints about adaptations not being faithful to the novel, and while i share some of the frustrations (looking at you coppola), i feel like i should say that a) adaptations are actually under no obligation to be faithful and b) i think it makes perfect sense to streamline certain things. for example, while lucy having three suitors (plus van helsing) make a certain amount of sense in terms of symmetry with jonathan, drac and the three vampiresses, quincy and art are incredibly underdeveloped and largely extraneous characters (not entirely, i'm getting to that)

HAVING SAID THIS i feel like i finally got a handle on why quincy has to exist, which is that each of lucy's suitors represents a different mode of masculinity, or perhaps more accurately, a different source of masculine power. seward is the rationalist, art is the aristocrat (and this kind of justifies his existence for story purposes, since his status often smooths the way in terms of getting access to places that would otherwise be shut off from the gang), and quincy is the rugged frontiersman. what i'm less sure about is why quincy is the one who has to die at the end? we are of course at the point of writing coming to the end of the era of the american frontier (by the reckoning of some historians it had already ended), but it feels like quincy is still generally referred to as a figure who represents futurity (particular when seward says "If America can go on breeding men like that, she will be a power in the world indeed"). so i'm still wrestling with this particular choice

could write a whole thing about the epilogue through the lens of reproductive futurism. i mean it writes itself. interesting that both art and seward are now "happily married" to unnamed women, with no other details given whatsoever (seward is fruity as hell btw don't get me started)

lot of foils in this novel: jonathan and lucy, jonathan and renfield; dracula and seward, dracula and van helsing; the three vampiresses, the three suitors. are mina and lucy foils? they're often framed as such in readings of the novel, because they're both women or whatever. not sure how much i go along with that. i guess mina is also contrasted, by jonathan, with the three vampiresses. but i kind of feel like she, of all the characters, is the one who most stands alone as an individual.

it will never cease to infuriate me that van helsing and renfield, particularly van helsing, are the two characters who have gone on to have an independent life in the popular imaginary (other than drac himself obviously). mina harker is SUCH a fantastic character, absolutely the hero of the novel, and the adaptations have done her so dirty. i know i said they don't have to be faithful but the changes are always to her detriment. she's reduced to either drac's reincarnated love interest (WHY???) or "oooh, lesbian subtext between her and lucy", which like--i'm not saying it's not there, at a stretch, and i'm all for queering stuff, but i don't think it's by any means the most interesting thing you can do with mina (and there's already so much rich queer and gender subversive potential in the novel that actually feels a lot more justified). the novel spends so much time establishing the relationship between mina and jonathan as absolutely central to the narrative and to both of their identities and it seems silly to pretend that isn't true just because mina has a close female friend. i'm not saying people shouldn't ship it or whatever, i just don't think it's strongly supported by the text

not to repeat myself but the whole trope in pop culture of "i'm descended from van helsing" actually drives me nuts? van helsing doesn't have any living children FIRST of all. why not descended from mina and jonathan harker?? the protagonists of the novel who have a canonical child? jonathan deals the killing blow to dracula and mina is instrumental in finding him? van helsing is only a "vampire slayer" in the sense that he cuts off the heads of vampires while they're unconscious... why him

having said the above i don't actually like the trope of 'descended from legendary whatever therefore such-and-such is in my blood' btw. i'm just saying if you're GOING to do it then van helsing isn't the best choice

but also. what if the dormant vampirism in mina were passed down to her children in some way. isn't that more fun than "hereditary vampire slaying ability"

i did read a little bit of lit crit when this first started but i haven't read any since then, and as i said i haven't been keeping up with the tag, so these are just some raw thoughts i am tossing around atm so don't fucking come for me you freaks

[meltingpenguins]

Know what? Here's some more lowlights from Choice Of Games' shortcomings, aside from the obvious big ones (banning people from the forum for stuff said on other platforms, pretending important warnings have never been uttered right after deleting said messages etc), because we are in a mood for spilling tea: ☕

There's a game (the North by northwest meets Oz one) with a size of over 90MB due to the chapter graphics never being scaled down to a reasonable size. CoG has been told this several times. And has done nothing.

'A Kiss From Death' still has a G rating on some storefronts (It's definitely not a G rated game). CoG has been told this several times. And has done nothing.

Sergi's 'Open Season' game had a coding error carrying over from testing for the longest time that reset whether or not you had the 'Warning System' if you got it in the game before. Despite being told right of the bat, it took CoG about half a year to fix the coding error (that was on their end, as they are the ones adding in purchase code)

Talking about Sergi and 'Open Season': During the games' beta several (!) beta testers have been hit by panic and anxiety attacks due to how ignorant, belittling and ill-informed bit of the story that try to talk about mental illness, disability etc are, and have asked for these passages (which btw have no impact on the plot or character development) to be removed/rewritten. CoG has done nothing.

Jason forwarded private email addresses of betatesters to authors if he couldn't be arsed to forward feedback. He also censors feedback.

The insistence that a build in saves (be it like the plugin on dashing, or a *checkpoint function that would do the same as the save function seen in e.g. Tin Star or Fallen Hero 2) would be 'against how the games are supposed to be played' and a complete radiosilence when asks 'how' they are supposed to be played then, when people want that function to ward off frustration first and foremost.

The vitriol towards people that would ask to have the actual average wordcount per playthrough in the game's description. According to CoG having the wordcount with code AND the average per playthrough would be 'too confusing' for readers.

Similar vitriol/ignorance towards people asking to have a bit more in terms of descriptions on the release schedule than an elevator pitch.

Likewise having descriptions that are actually accurate to the game. Because so many games promise a story and features that are... just not there.

The inability to use tagging systems correctly. Oh, you WILL get a warning/first strike on the forum if you post 'wrong', but CoG can't be arsed to tag their dev/publisher correctly on steam, or use the tagging system here on tumblr correctly. They have been told several times now.

Do we have to mention the forum itself? The software they are using is very well capable of smooth, easy to navigate categories. And they've been told this...

The sheer ignorance towards some gems they have in their library. Meanwhile generally panned games seem to get all their love.

This just from the top of my head... Like good golly.

[heartfullofleeches]

Alright order up I got a scenario (Couldn’t find the tag for Casper so I’m going off on memory on what they’re like sorry if there’s any inaccuracies cause of it)

So if memory serves me right Casper has a habit of sort of watching the reader from afar for a while until they finally approach them, so I had the idea of what if when Casper is busy sneaking around to stalk the reader, the reader notices that some strange things are happening around their home. They’ll hear sounds of something outside in their backyard and when they check in the morning some things are out of place or there will be something placed there that they never had before, along with other creepy things happening around them. And while it does sorta creep reader out they start to think “Oh it’s probably just a stray animal” and they begin to leave out some things like food and maybe even toys out for this “stray animal” in hopes of seeing it and maybe even befriending it. And surprise surprise it’s not a stray animal at all it’s Casper, and they get really excited that the reader is actually giving them stuff and wants to return the favour, and Caspers gifts back just sort of escalate further and further until they gets the confidence to finally show themselves to the reader.

Apologies if this is too specific or it doesn’t fit btw it’s just what I came up with first, have a nice day :) - 👁‍🗨

(this was pretty specific so there's some derailing on my end. Hope you enjoy it though)

It starts with a rattle by the trash cans outside. The curious creature thought they could get aeaaeay with ease, but with a body as large as its that was a different feat. Stepping outside, your first thought goes to a stray animal or similar upon seeing the lid clattering to the earth below. Funny enough, everything was still in order, except for an old shirt you had tossed out after it had torn which was mysterious absent from the bin. You place the lid back on top, thinking little of it.

The following night you're greeting scratches on your front door. Whilst grabbing a late night snack, you hear the little nicks being etched into the wood. The moment you grab the door handle, they stop. As you look outside, there's nothing to see. Strange- though it stopped before you opened the door, you should've been able to see whatever it was before it got away. You inspect the frame, discovering thin lines in the wood. In a way, it almost resembles a smile. Mind on auto-pilot and assuming its just some wild creature, you pick one half of your sandwich off the plate and set it on the ground before heading off to bed. In the morning, both plate and food are gone - a single piece of candy sitting in their place.

Upon find the treat, you start to believe this isn't a stray animal; not in the traditional sense at the very least. Curious, you decided to continue this game of back and forth just to see if that's really what this was. You leave an old doll on your doorstep and comes the following morning, you find a blanket in its place. It vaguely reminds you of the one a neighbor had drapped over a plastic scarecrow passing out candy last Halloween before they moved away.

That feeling that's there's more to this growing, you leave a notebook on the porch. When you recieved it in the morning, you find nothing more than a few lines of the first page. A game of tic-tac-toe. Beneath the board is a small note.

"You first."

You draw an x in the center of the square. That night, your opponent leaves their mark in the form of a smiley face in the upper left corner. By the third night, your little game is over. It seems they took all paths that would avoid their own winning. Your opponent congrats you with a "You win!" and pile of candy on the step. There appears to be another bonus to your victory, as you spot an arrow at the bottom of the note.

Flipping the page, your stomach drops at the picture displayed. It was a drawing of a kitchen - yours to be more accurate. From lay out to appliances, your kitchen had been mirrored to the best of the artist's capabilities; you included. There were two discrepancies you noticed the longer you looked. A head poking through one of the windows, and a box on the kitchen table. The figures large, black eyes stare back at you through the paper. You can almost feel its gaze on the back of your neck.

The pit in your stomach becomes a bolder as you enter the kitchen. Just as the picture depicted, there's a white box sitting on the table. You look towards the window, feeling relieved upon finding it empty, but that still left the other problem at hand.

Nearing the box, you note a letter tucked beneath it. You choose to read it before braving whatever sat in the box, though common sense told you neither was a good option.

"Dear You,

I'm so happy. So very happy you like me too. I've watched you for a while now. Touched you too. Your skin is sweet. Sweeter than any type of candy. I normally retire at this time of year, but its much warmer by your side. Since you like me too, it would be fine if I stay, right? Writing this now, I know I still lack the courage to face you, but soon, we'll never part from each other. I've left you something, something that reminded me of you ever time it pulsed in my hands.

I love you.

-C."

You set the note again. Your fingers tremble as they pull the lid of the box upwards. You retch at the smell, near looking your control over your stomach as your eyes fall upon what lies in the box. It's a heart. Too small to be human, but a heart nonetheless. You quickly shove the lid back on and turn to flee from the house, and never look back-

And when you see it.

You hear it before anything else. Something scraping against the dark walls of your home. Its eyes slowly come into view; surrounding by a sheet of white. The splotch slowly rises from its low point against the ground, towering over you and hitting the ceiling. A hand grabs the kitchen wall, then another, untill four hands grasp ththe foundation of your home. As the figure drags itself from the shadows, what appears to be a large white cloth draps over its body. You can see the vague outline of a humanoid shape beneath, the fabric sticking as though it was another layer of skin until it reached its legs where it dangled free. As you stared into the dark pits of its yes, you saw a toothy smile mirrored in both sockets.

"I'm.. home."

[yarrayora]

end of the year book stuff tagged by @carriagelamp

How many books did you read this year?

does comic books count? if yes then i didn't count, if no then i'm pretty sure just two (but comics should absolutely count btw)

Did you reread anything? What?

i always reread servamp all the time so i can write Essays. also i reread katekyo hitman reborn for nostalgia and crossover reasons. TECHNICALLY i reread dante's inferno even though i never finished it because i'm not used to classic so i have to repeat the paragraphs before Getting it

What were your top five books of the year?

GIDEON THE NINTH!!! also Superman Smashes the Klan. the rest of the top 5 is servamp, unfortunately

Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

if i have never read tamsyn muir's homestuck fic before then it would have been her, but because i have that means she's an old fave-- oH i guess ryohgo narita counts? i knew he wrote durarara but i never truly managed to appreciate his writing until i read dead mount deathplay

What genre did you read the most of?

fantasy, duh

Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

too like a lightning by ada palmer. i keep forgetting i already have an e-book of it

What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate?

i dont use goodreads thumbs up emoji

Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

yeah, finally reading original novels again. im trying to beat my ADHD so i can devour books the way i did during childhood

Did you get into any new genres?

new genre huh uhhhh... no. i know what i like

What was your favorite new release of the year?

i don't follow new release i just browse the bookstores and hope something speaks to me

What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

gideon the ninth

Any books that disappointed you?

i dropped a lot of books and nothing this year has disappointed me enough for me to remember their titles

What were your least favorite books of the year?

bungou stray dogs look the light novels are still REALLY well written. i also appreciate how beautiful the translation can be. but the canon storyline fucking sucks. it betrays its theme when it comes to handling abusers by making this little girl who gets physically abused by her dad as a form of discipline to look up to him as a hero because dad's a cop

What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

i don't care about something like that

Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them?

i don't follow book awards either

What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

i tried reading blue lock and it's the worst sports manga i have ever read. i can't get over how stupid the premise is. soccer is a team sport you idiot (note that this book didnt disappoint me because i never had any expectations for it in the first place)

Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

oh yeah JK Haru is a Sex Worker in Another World. I went into it expecting a cheap smutty story but turns out it's a pretty feminist narrative about sex workers and how no matter talented a woman is as long as the environment around her is aggressively and violently patriarchal those talents that would make men a hero would make women accused as demons-- but that's okay because you don't need the power to slay an entire army to change the world. sometimes, eating at a cafe in a world where women arent allowed to go outside without a chaperone is more revolutionary than magic that can burn a horde of monsters into cinders

How many books did you buy?

more than five

Did you use your library?

there is no usable library around me

What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

i dont follow new release remember

Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

oh yeh i watch them from the sideline with popcorn and all, thats crazy

What’s the longest book you read?

dante's inferno

What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?

back when i was a kid i read three pjo books in one day. i don't do that anymore

Did you DNF anything? Why?

i read reeeeeeally slow now so it's less not finishing and more like taking long breaks inbetween

What reading goals do you have for next year?

finish gideon the ninth so i can read the next one

[charthanry]

TAG 9 PEOPLE YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

I was tagged by @hughungrybear :)

THREE SHIPS

Current or all-time? I’ll just go with the three that immediately come to mind:

Pat and Pran, Bad Buddy (obvs)

Steve and Tony, MCU

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, MDZS

*Honorable mention to Jake and Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

FIRST SHIP

Ever? Hmm, before Pacey and Joey it was Anne and Gilbert from the Anne of Green Gables series (books AND Kevin Sullivan’s tv adaptation from the mid-1980s). Gilbert Blythe was my first crush. Anne and Gil’s relationship taught my younger and impressionable self that love was friendship caught on fire and to never settle for anything less; that you can fall both slowly and ardently. Gilbert and Anne set the goalpost for all my future ships, with Gilbert proving that sometimes the nice guy does get the girl.

Also, I cannot imagine a more picturesque backdrop to fall in love in than Prince Edward Island. It’s on my bucket list to visit.

LAST SONG

I’ve been listening to a lot of K-Drama OST lately. I usually have one song on loop for weeks until it wears itself out on my spotify. Last month it was “With You” by Jimin and Ha Sung Woon from Our Blues (fantastic drama btw, I ugly cried in nearly every episode). This week it’s “Goodbye” by WENDY from The Beauty Inside.

LAST MOVIE

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but just yesterday I rewatched Leap Year on Netflix. I shamefully also own the DVD. Gah, *hides face* don’t look at me. 

It’s a cheesy, clichéd, and improbable romcom about an American who impulsively follows her boyfriend to Ireland to propose to him on February 29th. Cue the endless mishaps and series of incredibly manufactured bad luck. She ends up falling instead for the stranger who helps her on the way. The script is silly and absurdly unrealistic, but damn if the chemistry and charm of the two leads doesn’t save the day. 

My favorite scene is when Matthew Goode’s ‘Declan’ wakes up alone on a bus stop bench and realizes that Amy Adam’s ‘Anna’ has left him without waking him to say goodbye. The disappointment and regret in his body language is so palpable that Anna who is standing behind him watching, feels every ounce of his turmoil. She studies him for a beat before breaking the moment with banter. And damn, Matthew conveyed all this just by the way he stands and very subtly slumps his shoulders in defeat. And Anna’s reaction to seeing him this way is just...so telling that you want to shake her and say c’mon girl, you’re chasing the wrong guy. 

It doesn’t hurt that this era of young Matthew Goode is totally my aesthetic. Just look at him. Add to all this the brogue-y accent and WOOF.

CURRENTLY READING

I consume written media the same way I consume music and shows. I devour it. I practically subsist on Ao3 content alone. Lately, it’s been a lot of Red, White & Royal Blue fics in anticipation and giddiness for the upcoming movie.

CURRENTLY WATCHING

I’m in the middle of season 2 of my annual West Wing binge-watch. I’m by no means into politics, but I have yet to discover better American television than Aaron Sorkin’s The West Wing. It’s nearly perfect in its execution.

Currently waiting on a lot of shows to finish airing so that I can binge watch (I’m not making the mistake I did with Bad Buddy by watching it every week, I nearly died). On my list: 

Never Let Me Go

My School President

Crash Course in Romance

Moonlight Chicken

CURRENTLY CONSUMING

Right now? Snacking on Irvins Salted Egg Salmon Skin chips that I got from Costco. It’s deceptively bad for you (high in both cholesterol and sodium content), but the ‘dangerously addictive’ boast on the packaging is wildly accurate.

CURRENTLY CRAVING

Food-wise? A big bowl of homemade pho with all the accoutrements. 

ONWARD TAGS

@depressingly-lonely @hereforlou @reasonablysurmised @aliceisathome @keelpay @inhumanevoid @frostluvrs @faillen @leconcombrerit @rosetintednerdglasses and anyone else that wants to join!

[cha1cedony]

Okay fine I’ll do one of these (because I like to talk about myself hehehe). Thanks @roboobin for tagging me B)

A very long ‘get to know me’ post below…

Last song: Apparently it was ‘Two Time’ - Jack Stauber, according to Spotify? I’ve also been relistening to a few tracks from Falsettos all day, for some reason. ‘I’m Breaking Down’ got stuck in my head somehow. I’m not super big on musical theater, but I LOOOOVE Falsettos and especially Trina :) You can probably tell I have a certain type of favorite characters/media lol.

Favorite color: Light greyish blue (or white, grey, silver, orrrr light greyish green?)

Last movie: I actually have no idea. Maybe Nimona with my IRLs a few months ago? I almost NEVER watch movies in full because I get bored of them easily. Sorry I know that’s so lame lololol

Currently watching: A commentary YouTube video to use as background noise while I do my writing assignments lol. Like I said, I don’t really watch a lot of movies or TV :/

Currently reading: Nothing, unfortunately! I haven’t read any books/stories in an embarrassingly long time :( I am so ridiculously busy and haven’t had the time/motivation to read and get invested in new characters. I have a bunch of series I want to reread for nostalgia purposes, though. I’m also strangely tempted to read the Animorphs series? LOL. I looked it up on AO3 for the first time a few months ago while in the kids’ section of the library with my IRLS and we were assessing the popularity of kids’ books based on the amount of AO3/Wattpad fics (btw, there are a shockingly low amount of Geronimo Stilton fics in the world). I wasn’t expecting there to be an Animorphs fandom, but there IS? And the fics are really GOOD even though I don’t know the source material? Anyway. Tempted to read it because I like putting teens in situations /lh. Also I want to read more short stories! Send me recommendations, if you have any.

Last thing I googled: This is so embarrassing. ‘Bathroom cruising’ LMAOOOO. I was just writing a funny bit, but I wanted to make sure it was accurate, okay? T_T Other recent searches include my voice lesson Lieder, various areas I’ve felt pain recently (because I’m a hypochondriac /lh), and a vlog I had to watch for my job… I was writing an article about it.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory. Every time. I love savory foods, and they’re basically the only types of food I ever crave. Then I would go with spicy, but only if it’s spicy in a flavorful way (and not just a painful way). I don’t like sweet foods except for chocolate—and, even then, I am infamous among my friends and acquaintances for only liking SUPER dark chocolate… like 70% cocoa or more. I would say my favorite flavor profile is bitter! :)

Current obsession: I think y’all already know :^) I am incapable of having more than one strong interest at once, soooo DnDads has quite literally been occupying my brain since liiiike October 2022… almost a year ago now! o_o Holy shit. I’ve been really busy with work and school in the past month or so, so I haven’t done basically anything else in my free time. I’d like to start cross stitching again because I have some projects to finish, and I got some of my late grandmother’s jewelry-making supplies recently, so I’ll toy around with that, too.

Currently working on: Like, right this second? Discussion post replies for my Writing in Digital Environments course :p In general? As far as hobbies go, the beginnings of my next longfic chapter! As far as work goes, I’m working on article about a mural. I have to drive like 30 mins to get a features image for it tomorrow ugh. At least I get to kill time on the clock :’)

I don’t want to tag anyone in particular, but, obviously, if you want to do this, you can just say I tagged you. Shhh I won’t tell ;) hehehe

[soulreaper]

tagged by @fruixtii

order your favorite twst dorms from least fave to favorite!

Pomefiore: i love eppy and vil MOST OF THE TIME. but i do not like rook one bit 😢 and given his presence as well as me just not really liking pomefiore chapter and the entire atmosphere of the dorm, they are definitely lowest for me. Also i can never forgive vil for that shit he said during the fairy gala.

Heartslabyul: if mid was a dorm. DONT GET ME WRONG. i love all of them and i’m literally obsessed with alice in wonderland, but also as a dorm it’s not that remarkable and it's kind of booooring -_-; I suppose it’s a good setting for the first chapter but we never really come back to it after chapter 2 and it’s quite forgettable T_T

Scarabia: looks around... LISTEN. jamil and kalim are two of my favorite characters in this damn game, but the orientalism of the actual dorm is hard to deny. i understand that Aladdin is also very orientalist, but that’s not really an excuse, and knowing that Yana Toboso designed it is grosser given that that woman loves racism and orientalism. Like along with child sexualization, it's one of her favorite things. good characters, evil dorm, evil game, evil disney, evil designer.

Savanaclaw: i don’t think leona did anything wrong. ruggie didn’t either. my opinion. i also love jack bc hes so cute and cool. as a dorm.. 🔥🔥🔥 the dorms design is quite possibly my favorite of any of them because it’s very comfortable while maintaining the "wild" feeling the dorm is supposed to represent. ALSO it has the best lounge out of literally any of the dorms I'm serious!! overall 11/10 for savanaclaw because they are my bros and i wish malleus had let them win the magift tournament. 🥀

Ignihyde: yes . i know them. firstofall.... pointy teef. secondof all.... fire hairs. thrid of all... autism. Lastly... Transgenderism that is inherent to robots and gamers. need i say more. i seriously dont care for underworld themes or the dorms high tech design buuuut it's okay because it's such a cool dorm. i LOVE the dorm theme, it’s very lobotomy corp ost. Listen to 1st Warning and 2nd Warning from lobcorp ost bc they are Ignihyde type beats. Idia is my dear sweet wicked one. he’s literally in my top 5 twst characters because hes an otaku character that doesn't suck and embarrass me which is like!! Really hard to find 👍 ALSO more importantly!!! Little homie Ortho is there. he’s only 1 ipad tall with a silly and kind soul and they put him in the torture chamber for 1000 years. two of my specialest angels in one dorm with a story that makes me kill myself one hundred times.

Octavinelle: You are a madman for saying that floyd and jade are over-hyped btw. The fans talk about them a lot but the version of floyd and jade they are hyping up is make believe and not accurate to their souls ¬_¬. i hate how octavinelle fans portray them. i constantly find myself thinking “he would not fucking say that” when looking at tweel fan works. azul is also so so beautiful. im too sleepy to go into detail but they are all 3 very good and interesting characters TO ME. in general, i love love love octavinelle. the ocean aesthetic, the mafia vibes, the autism, and just the whole vibe of the dorm. (<- fish fan) aaaand i like when there is friends who say they arent friends but we know they are. Plus plus i think about them in my mind palace a LOT so they will always be near and dear to me.

Diasomnia: haha. 💀 I love all the characters and I don’t think there has been a single day in the last month where i wasn’t spinning them around in my mind palace. I didn't particularly think of myself as a Diasomnia fan until I finished chapter 6 and I found that I was actually afraid of getting spoiled or something bad happening to any of the characters in chapter 7. Malleus has always been one of my favorite twst characters. His design is perfect, his personality is perfect, his mindset for why he does the things he does and responds to things the way he does is so interesting too. Good starter character to pull you into the torture chamber that is Diasomnia. I’m sure you understand. The family dynamic of the dorm is also really interesting to look at and makes me kill myself 10 thousand times when I get spoiled about it. The aesthetic of the dorm is very nice and I know it smells like spiders in there. Favoritest dorm until I get so crazy I have to destroy my phone and never look at twst again. 💕

This is literally exhausted rambling -_- but I love hopelessness, love, fate, and tragedy more than anyone alive, but I will always have a soft spot for silly guys.

I'm tagging hmmmmmmmm @kizuowen that's all I can think of on account of I cannot remember urls ever

[astrobei]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers <3333 self love. now.

omg HELLO i realize it has been like . a month since u sent this to me but i am so bad at chain posts bc i always forget who’s tagged who and i get weirdly worried abt not having enough mutuals to do it w 😭 but i will be holding everyone hostage until they list 5 things they like abt themselves!! Seriously I Mean It. no more astrobi fics until u do it

um . anyway .

1. i have a freaky accurate sense of smell! which maybe is a weird thing to like but i think it’s cool! my mom always gets so impressed by me smelling all the little ingredients of the meal she’s cooking + me texting my roommates that whatever they’re making smells rly good except i live on the third floor of our house and should Not be able to smell anything. anyways not to flex (i totally am)

2. i know so much about whales . seriously, i watch So Many nature documentaries (especially ocean ones) and whales r my favorite animal Ever and all my friends n fam give me so much shit abt it but I DONT CARE!! also as a pacific northwesterner maybe i’m biased ! idk i think it’s cool i could spout a couple whale facts (haha get it) at any given moment (iam Sorry).

3. i know my way around a kitchen sort of ! (or so i’ve been told?) anyways i Do love to bake and my love language is definitely giving my friends baked goods so . if anyone is interested i’ll mail u a cupcake of ur choice (may be slightly moldy upon arrival but whatever) n i make a lot of bread when i’m at home for the summer and also like . cinnamon rolls and scones and creme brûlée sometimes and stuff . anyways

4. i take Pride in my hugging skills ok i know for a Fact i am a top notch hugger . i think my secret talent is knowing from instinct whether someone will go above or below for a hug and then it’s never awkward when i go in !! and Squeezing just right!!

5. i’m good at math which i think is cool and neat of me sometimes! unfortunately this does come at the cost of me not being able to write an essay or discussion post to save my Life i don’t know HOW U GUYS ALL DO IT I AM SO SCARED OF U😭 coming out to u all Officially as a stem girlie btw,, first person to guess my major in college gets a patented Astrobi Hug

anyways it’s 2am for me so this was probably incoherent but . hopefully now i am less of an Enigma to u all and more of a Real person . have fun perceiving me or whatever :/ putting u all on a fic moratorium unless u also perceive urselves (real)

[cherrygorilla]

My first impressions of The Outsiders musical (plus my extra notes on your reaction to ✨Starlight Express✨)

As promised, I've compiled all the notes I made whilst I was watching the show you so graciously introduced me to into a neat little post for you to read. I know it's not nearly as exciting as a video, but hopefully you can still enjoy reading through them as much as I enjoyed watching it. It was so cool getting to watch it after knowing how important the story has been to you over the years, and how much it inspired your characters. It felt like I was unlocking new Danelle lore - I loved it 😂 But anyway, enough wasting time! I'll start with my reactions to The Outsiders (the overall show and each song), and then I'll tag on my comments about Starlight at the end. I did them as little bullet point-esque comments as I went along to try to stop myself from rambling too much, but I don't know how successful that was... 😅

The Outsiders:

Okay, first of all, I love that you can hear time period accurate music playing in the theatre before the show starts - I love when productions do that; it adds that extra layer of immersion and helps you get even more excited for the show to start - at least it does for me anyway.

The actor playing Ponyboy has a really unique voice - but I think it works well for the character. It feels really authentic. 

The use of the screens in the set to show the movie scenes at the start was cool - for what sometimes felt like a more limited/sparse set with the sort of scaffolding backdrop, it added an extra element of interest.

The contrast between the Greasers and the Socs in that first number was shown in such a cool way too - with all the Greasers playing around and doing their own thing to reflect their imperfections, but good hearts nonetheless - and then with the Socs being more reserved and putting their jackets all in perfect synchronisation to show how much more 'put together' they are. That's such clever choreography! 

The staging of everything is great too - it feels like such a big set but they use the space so effectively. And all the gravel on the stage is a great touch; it helps set the scene so well! I think I saw actual water in that tire too, which is another really cool feature.

Tulsa '67 - great song to set the scene - sets everything up really well - no notes - fantastic opening number 👏

The car pulling onto the stage was so cool - it reminded me of when I went to go and see the Back to the Future musical last month (which was amazing btw - gave me some very entertaining ideas for a one-shot 👀), because the way they used the delorean in that, and made it drive, was genuinely incredible haha.

Whilst I felt really sorry for poor Ponyboy when he had that run-in with the Socs, the way they did the fight scene (and all the ones that followed) was just brilliant. The way the lighting and the sound design and the way they did the choreography with the slow-motion sections - it was fantastic!! I've genuinely never seen anything like that in a show before - no wonder it won so many Tonys haha. It deserved to after seeing that!

Also - no matter how many fight scenes there were - I still couldn't work out how they got the fake blood all over themselves. Maybe it was just too late at night and I wasn't paying close enough attention - but that felt like genuine magic to me 😂

Grease Got a Hold - fun song to show the brotherhood of the Greasers - very time period accurate too - at least it sounds it to me lol - which works really well to help sell the story - it did a great job at introducing us to the way all the different main characters act too

Runs in the Family - really liked Darrel's character in the show - maybe it's because you made that connection with him being so similar to Miles, and you know how much of a sucker I am for that guy lol - but I also did just genuinely think he was a great character to add an extra layer of conflict - and the actor did a brilliant job of portraying it; I really believed him in the role, and I thought his voice was beautiful.

The scene with Ponyboy and Sodapop talking on the bed definitely gave me Bentley and Royce vibes - especially because they share a room. That moment about the book and how many pages it had got a laugh out of me too - the guy who plays Sodapop acted that bit really well. That whole exchange was just really sweet - they played out that super close brotherly bond so well - I can definitely see how their relationship could have influenced how you wrote the Murphys.

Great Expectations - really moving song that was great for showing off the guy who plays Ponyboy's voice - it was so powerful! I've got to admit I'm not always overly fussed about slower songs/ballads in shows, so I didn't necessarily love this at first - I thought it was a good song, but I don't think I fully appreciated it until I came back to listen to it again and could link it back to the rest of the show; I think it becomes more meaningful once you know the whole story - at least it worked that way for me

The exchange between Dally and Johnny Cade (I can definitely see why you thought August was a good match for him btw) was really sweet - they really sold that chosen family vibe between them. And it was clever how they incorporated the set-up with the switchblade knife too, what with it being so important later on. 

Friday at the Drive-In - nothing really groundbreaking, but it was a fun, catchy song - and I liked the choreography!

I loved getting to meet Cherry for the first time - with her bravery standing up for herself I can definitely see Vivien selling that almost defiant confidence really well. And how she speaks to Ponyboy afterwards - I could so see Vivien acting that out with Bentley. I sometimes forget how close of a bond Vivien and Bentley have because I usually think of them as a trio, or just Vivien with Royce - but I'd love to see them tackle this scene together; I think they'd do a great job. 

Going on from that - I Could Talk To You All Night - such a pretty song that is so enjoyable and easy to listen to - it works so well for the scene, and I think Vivien and Bentley would kill it - BUT, your idea of a one-shot with Miles and Carrie pre-relationship is absolute perfection for this song. It works amazingly - right down to their places in society and everything!! Aaah!!

I loved Cherry sticking up for herself when her boyfriend barged in and started being an asshole too - she's such a strong-willed girl, I'm obsessed with her. I could very much see elements of Carrie and Eric in her and Bob's relationship (unfortunately lol) - especially in TMM. If only Carrie had the same balls Cherry did to actually put herself first lmao.

Runs in the Family reprise - whilst I understand it was a little overkill for Darrel to fly off the handle like he did, I can appreciate his point of view and how he cracked under all the pressure he'd placed on himself. Like you said in your post, it's hard to imagine the Murphy brothers ever arguing like this - but it could be something interesting to play with just as a one off, to see how they would react - especially that element of Darrel talking about all the things he could do with his life if he wasn't tied down to providing for his brothers - I feel like Miles could share at least some of those struggles (I just don't ever think he'd express them lmao - especially not like that). Also - I feel like in this reprise, even more than with the song the first time around - part of the melody reminds me of What'd I Miss from Hamilton. Maybe it's just me though lol 😂

Far Away from Tulsa - what a pretty song! And what a sweet moment between Ponyboy and Johnny Cade - this was such a good way to show how close the characters are. And omg just imagining Bentley and August singing it 🥹 - I couldn't cope

Probably just me watching too much Starlight Express (as usual), but the "you're nobody" part of the following run-in with the Socs was very reminiscent of the "he said nobody, so he's nobody" bit in the show when the other trains are all picking on Rusty. Weird coincidence haha. But again, the staging of this fight was just brilliant - it was like I couldn't look away! And the underwater effects!! That was so cool!!

Run Run Brother - what an exciting end to the first act! Again, the staging of it was brilliant showing their escape - and I loved the song in this one too; I feel like it showed off Dallas' voice really well. 

Justice for Tulsa - this was a really cool opening to the second act - I loved the way they staged it with the interrogation; that was so clever and it set the tone really well how everything is a little darker and more tense compared to the bright and cheery opening of the first act. I really liked the second part of the song too with Cherry sticking up for the Greasers even though everyone else was turning on her because of it - she's definitely feeling like one of my favourite characters at this point. The tone of her voice is so pretty and clear too - you can tell there's a lot of power behind it as well. She's great!

Also - I know it's not really a comical show - but that cut back to Ponyboy after they'd cut and bleached his hair… 😳 Girl. I gasped. That wig. I know the point is that it looks bad but I was still speechless 😂 The poor guy! Wanted as an accessory to murder AND looking like a clown?! He can't catch a break!

Death's At My Door - what a sweet duet - not the most exciting of songs - but it's really heartfelt and showed off the characters' close bond really well. 

Throwing in the Towel - I already had a bit of an idea what this was like from the TV performance of it, but omg seeing it fully staged, and knowing about everything that led up to this point, made it so much better! What a beautiful song! Everyone put so much emotion into it - and then when Ponyboy started singing too to show how they were all thinking of and missing each other despite being apart - ugh, it was so good!! Definitely a stand out song of the show for me. Brilliant vocals, and amazing acting too from all three brothers. I can totally see the similarities to your Murphy brothers as well, which made it all the more enjoyable to watch. The actor who plays Darrell did a particularly great job here, and as an oldest sibling myself, I definitely felt the most connected to him - he's another favourite of mine from the show.

The comedic timing on that "Do I look like Julie Andrews?" line was impeccable - that whole section with them talking about Ponyboy's hair was so good - they delivered the lines so well; it felt so authentic. And Dally's reaction just made it even better.

Soda's Letter - another really pretty song - you could really feel the sentiment behind the lyrics - it felt (at least to me anyway) that even the music itself was showing that internal conflict in Ponyboy: the need to stay safe and loyal to his friends, but also that comforting pull of his family back home. It was really beautiful!

Dally's monologue that followed was really powerful too, with him trying to keep his 'found family' safe - definitely felt like his advice was driven by the fact that he didn't have a choice in his matter of just keeping moving on though, and that he was potentially a little jealous that Ponyboy did have a loving family he could go back to. There felt like there was an element of pride there too - where he felt like their new big brother who could look after them, especially after his talk with Darrell, so he didn't want them to go back and not have them solely relying on/looking up to him anymore. He wants to try to keep that control over them  - maybe because there's nothing else he can control in his life? Idk, maybe I'm reading too much into it lmao.

Hoods Turned Heroes - that whole fire breaking out really took me by surprise, but it was so brave of Ponyboy and Johnny Cade to go save all those kids despite being so weak and tired themselves. No wonder they were deemed heroes! It was a fun song to show off the upswing in luck for the Greasers back home though - and it provided an even starker contrast to the next scene with Dally carrying Johnny Cade like that. That was a really powerful moment.

Hopeless War - another beautiful song showing off Cherry's actress' voice - I'm obsessed with it. She's really great. Definitely gives me turf war vibes that could be used in a throwback one-shot/au or something before the surfers and bikers made up.

The set-up for the rumble had me so nervous ngl - I really appreciated Darrell coming back and trying to help though, even offering to take Ponyboy's place and fight for him (not that Ponyboy was ever going to let that happen, but you know, the sentiment was there haha). Very good big brother energy - very Miles energy too. I liked it haha.

And then the rumble itself: genuinely unbelievable theatre. I know I've said it before, but the way they used the sound, and the lighting, and the choreography of everything - and the rain and the fake blood too - it quite literally took my breath away. Sooooo insanely brilliant. I can't believe how synchronised everything was - it was really, really impressive. 

Little Brother - another seriously powerful song, made even more powerful by that amazing performance by Dally's actor. Omg he totally killed that - the pain and the emotion in his voice - he sounded totally broken, it was such a brilliant performance! And aptly heartbreaking after what happened to poor Johnny Cade - it's just a shame Dally felt so lost and angry that he ended up meeting the same fate.

That conversation between the three brothers centering around Ponyboy and his grief was so emotional and, again, really powerful. They acted it out so well - I could really feel their love and frustration with one another. Again, I could totally see the Murphy brothers acting in a similar way if they were ever in that situation, especially with the way they were talking about their parents and how they're all each other has left. May or may not have helped me a lot with later parts of TMM too hehe 👀

Also - the part with them saying Johnny Cade's mum never showed up to the hospital to collect his things: what the hell! That's so sad! Poor boy deserved so much better 😢

Stay Gold - I've always known about this phrase being linked to The Outsiders in some way because I think you've had it in your bio at some point, but I didn't know the full meaning behind it until I listened to this. And omg what a beautiful song - definitely one of my favourites from the whole show. It's so delicate and heartfelt and pretty - that melody is just so gorgeous. It really feels like Johnny's last way of comforting and reassuring Ponyboy, all wrapped up in a song. Sooooo pretty. I loved the touch of them getting Johnny to be the one to sing it too; it sounds so much more meaningful coming from him. I could totally picture August singing this as well - the lyrics all felt very 'him' with that soft, almost poetic edge and the link to nature. At least that's the vibe I have in my head of August anyway haha.

The way they brought Ponyboy's writing back to end the show with felt so satisfying - it was a great way to tie it all together as one big story and show how their lives had changed, but part of it would always stay the same. A great way to end it with some really nice harmonies!!

So yeah, in case you couldn't already tell, I really loved the show - thank you so much for introducing me to it! I'm so glad I'll finally have an idea of what you're talking about when you bring it up now lmaoooo. And I'm so excited to see your reaction to it, because I feel as though it'll just make me love it even more!

Anyway, speaking of reactions, here are all the things I had to comment on after watching your reaction to Starlight Express. They're in that same sort of bullet point-y style, and I didn't comment on everything because I'd have probably bored you for hours. But here were at least my main things I wanted to share with you! So yeah, thank you again for putting that video together for me; I had such a fun time watching it and seeing you experience the show for the first time. I can't wait to see what ideas it sparks for you in the future (even if they're just new, awesome nail designs 😉)

Starlight Express:

It was so cool hearing you say that you bet you'd have loved the show when you were a kid because that's when I fell in love with it - and how you hoped that there are kids in the audience that fall in love with musical theatre because of the show because that's exactly what happened with me, and is exactly what the musical set out to do. Andrew Lloyd Webber has said many times that Starlight was designed to get kids into theatre and get them excited about going so the fact you picked up on that so early on was so cool! 

I LOOOOVE that you fell in love with Greaseball so early on - Greaseball's always been one of my faves, and this London version just cemented it for me. She's such an icon. I always used to love Dinah because she got to be WITH Greaseball - now I just want to BE Greaseball 🤣

That's so cool that you've seen stuff from the Bochum version (and that you've been learning German?! That's awesome!), and that you can appreciate the costume changes and everything. This video version of the London production might not be the best because the costumes aren't all finished off with the lights on their chest yet - since it was taken during the previews - but I agree that they all still look insanely cool. 

Also - with Dinah being one of my all-time favourite characters in the show - those Dinah inspired nails you got (which I may or may not have clocked in the intro because I'm a freak like that 🤣) are AMAZING! They look so good!! I'd love to see what you get done for Greaseball/The Outsiders if you end up getting them.

I loved your interpretation of the coaches being like the Muses in Hercules - that's such a cool connection; I'd never thought of that before but you're so right! And I loved your comments/analyses on their costumes too - they were so fun to hear. And as someone who LOVES really reading into details - especially when it comes to colours and things - listening to you talk about everything you picked up on was soooo fun. 

You giggling at that moment at the end of Whistle At Me was so cute 🥰

Also, I know you realised by the end of the show, but they definitely do sing AC/DC in Electra's main song - which is cool for both the music connotations, and because of the alternating current/direct current electrical terminology connotations hehe. 

I LOVED your reactions to Pumping Iron because that's one of my favourite songs in the whole show - it's just so FUN - and I had a blast watching you experience it all. Also - the way that your homemade slushie exploding lined up perfectly with Control saying "uh oh" had me cracking up so hard 😂

You picking up on Pearl saying "lovers" in Make Up My Heart was so entertaining too - the characters used to be a lot more romantically motivated in other versions of the show, and carrying songs over without changing the lyrics much (this one in particular) doesn't always work so well 😂

Totally agree with your score for Momma's Blues too - I love Momma as a character, but I always skip that song because it's just so random and unnecessary - genuinely don't know why it was ever included other than to give the Poppa/Momma character something else to sing 😂

I'm OBSESSED with Rusty's voice in this production too - obviously all the other Rustys I've seen have done an amazing job too, but there's something about Jeevan's voice that is just sooo beautiful. It made me appreciate 'Starlight Express' and 'Starlight Sequence' so much more than I used to because of how gorgeous his voice is to listen to. Also, can you believe he was only 17 when he started the show?! Insane!!

Unfortunately Greaseball is always kind of a jerk to Dinah in the shows, which is such a shame because they are so cute together otherwise. I've seen a few different interpretations of it though, like where Greaseball's so hellbent on winning that they don't want any distractions from anyone (no matter who they're from), and their desire to win just completely takes over. But another interpretation I thought was quite cute was that Greaseball is so desperate to look tough in front of their competitors that they have to disregard Dinah so that they don't look weak, because every time they DO properly acknowledge Dinah (like at the end) they're just like putty in her hands haha. 

I'm glad you still liked UNCOUPLED so much too, because as much as I also love it, I feel like it works much better with an American accent. Every other English-speaking version of the show has had Dinah being American, and since that number is so country music inspired, I just think it sounds better with an American accent. Eve's acting definitely helps to sell it though - and the more I listen to it, the more normal it's starting to sound. So maybe it's growing on me after all 😂

Your analysis on the 'money-driven' aspect of Slick's character was really cool too. That's a new aspect for this production too, because usually it's CB in that position just wrecking the trains for shits and giggles because he's a little psycho - but the link to the big oil rigging industry is a great one to make! I kind of wish they did more with Slick's character tbh - I feel like what they show of her is a very base level of her character - I wish we saw more of her desperation and intensity. And like I mentioned with how I imagine Abby would play her, I wish there was more of an element of Slick wanting to help Greaseball because she idolises her, what with their almost identical colour schemes and their joint reliance on oil. I think Wide Smile, High Style kind of falls a little flat because Slick's motives were never really shown up until that moment. But oh well, I suppose the show can only be so long haha. 

That moment after Rusty wrecks in the first version of the final race being Royce and Vivien coded is so true!! I'm so pleased you saw elements of them in those roles like I did!

It was so cute seeing how excited you got about Hydra each time he came on stage too - everyone seems to be really loving him, which is great since he, and all the other fuel trucks, were new additions for this production. He just seems like such a cool, chill guy - he's great. And that musical hook of his is really catchy haha. I'm pleased you could see how I could link him to Ethan lmao.

I love that you enjoyed One Rock and Roll Too Many - that's such a fun number in the show. I wish they'd made it more obvious that the trains had wrecked though, because in other productions they roll out in tattered/falling-apart versions of their costumes, which I think sells it more. But I also understand that that might not have been possible this time around with the way that the costumes are so rigid/plasticy. Either way - it's still a really fun number.

In terms of their makeup too - I've seen some of the cast on tiktok doing videos about their makeup and they have to do it all themselves! I think they were taught how to do their specific looks initially, but they have to do it all themselves every night, which is super impressive.

Also - yes - I totally agree Hydra should have been up there on the podium with Rusty at the end. Pearl didn't even race with him once!! 😂

And your utter confusion with Greaseball's poor spelling 😂 I love Al's portrayal of Greaseball but I don't think she hams up the dopey/dumb and embarrassed aspect of that part where she struggles to spell 'sorry' nearly enough. 

Overall, I absolutely loved your reactions though - getting to introduce people to stuff I love and seeing their reactions is one of my favourite things to do, so getting to watch you experience the show for the first time and fall in love with it was soooooo special. I can't wait to see your reaction to the Outsiders one if you choose to do one for that too!

And with that, I think I've got through everything. And to save you from reading through even more of my ramblings, I'll leave it here. Thank you so much for getting through it all if you made it to this point though - you're a real one haha. On a serious note though, the dedication you've put into editing together that video and watching the show purely because you know how much I enjoy it, and going to the trouble of helping me watch The Outsiders, is insane - you've gone above and beyond any of my irl friends with all that, so thank you soooo much. You truly are the best! 🥰

Now, back to TMM! 😂

[tsuiokuno]

headcanon: kusakabe's past & family

put under read more due to length + potentially triggering content, check tags for content warning

he's from akita prefecture.

no one else in his immediate family has the ability to see curses.

his father runs a kendo dojo. he's a gruff man but it's clear that he's proud of atsuya for being his best student. • over the years of practicing kendo, atsuya has unknowingly been utilizing a little bit of cursed energy to reinforce the shinai. it can be said that this is his one innate talent, he has a natural sense for manipulating cursed energy.

due to complications when giving birth to his sister, his mother becomes frail and sickly. she passes away around 3 years later.

in contrast to his name ('atsu' meaning warm), his sister's name is suzuko, with suzu (涼) meaning cool/refreshing (the kanji can also mean lonely btw. just a fun fact. just fyi😊). the two of them are 4 years apart.

after his mother's passing, his paternal grandmother moves in with them to help care for young suzu. but she also passes away only 6 years later. atsuya became the primary housekeeper ever since.

not that he was ever a particularly cheerful person, but he markedly becomes more emotionally closed off after. he isn't sullen or anything, but he dislikes divulging things about himself, especially when it comes to private matters and problems. he's the type that's on good terms with everyone but doesn't really have close friends.

when he's offered a spot in the tokyo jujutsu high, it doesn't take much time for him to agree bc it's better financially for their family. (the jujutsu schools has got to be very affordable if not free, right? feel free to correct me if there's something in canon that contradicts this, but i can't imagine it being otherwise considering maki's & miwa's respective family situations.)

he starts smoking some time in his 2nd year. he rarely ever goes home while he was in jujutsu high; usually it's only for obon.

his father passes away around a year after atsuya graduated. he found out that he has liver cancer at some point during the 4 years atsuya was in high school, but refused treatment and never told his children about it. • atsuya tries to quit smoking because of this (try being the operative word.)

the relief of seeing suzuko get married (or to be more accurate of her gaining a new family) actually made him slip up and start smoking again

suzuko and her family was on their way back from a trip when they get into a car accident. she was briefly in a coma; when she woke up and found out about takeru's death, she attempted to take her own life. • yaga is the only one he informed about the news and requested to attend the funeral. • when he begs yaga to make a puppet of takeru was the first time he cried in front of another person since he was a child.

he tries to quit smoking again, this time in earnest, as he's once again the only family suzuko has left. even if he can't see her often.