#dani the Menace

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC John Constantine's How To: Ghost Kids (pt.2)

[<- part 1]

"Oh, yeah," John jerks his head up like he just remembered the fact people are supposed to have names at all. He gestures to the kids, pointing to each of them as he introduces, "Daniel, Daniel, and Danielle."

This time, all three kids flip him off simultaneously. Bruce clears his throat, trying to figure out if Constantine is messing with him and, if so, in which parts. Since, so far, everything the man has said sounds like a poor attempt at pulling his leg.

"I don't think they like those," he cautiously says, and the kids whip their heads at him, nodding furiously. Bruce can't help but be just a little enamored with the way they behave.

"Of, sod off, at this point I don't care what they like," John straightens up with a dismissive, albeit weak, wave of his hands, and rubs his face, "They are menaces. Sometimes by accident, but mostly on purpose. Their grandfather thought it would be easier to handle them if they were not teenagers, and while I agreed with his reasoning at the time, I-" he glances at the kids, who all have displeased grimaces of various levels on their faces, "I have been made to reconsider. I swear that ancient bitch is laughing his ass off wherever he is now."

The kids suddenly grin. They are not very friendly, nor polite smiles - if anything, they look a bit nightmarish. An old grandfather's clock in his study makes a very loud ticking noise.

"See?" John whips his head to look at said clock, the expression on his face bordering on insane. His eye twitches.

If Bruce doesn't do anything now, he might become one of the very few people who managed to witness John Constantine, the Laughing Magician, have a meltdown. So he sighs and decides to solve the problems one at a time.

Which means that no matter how alarmed or suspicious he is, his first move would not be to interrogate either the man or the kids.

"You can sleep in one of the guest rooms, I trust you can find it on your own," he tells John, almost softly, as he catches the girl from slipping away from his lap, "Is there anything I need to know about children before you fall unconscious?"

John slumps with relief, so obviously that Bruce almost smiles. Hardships of raising - or, watching, for that matter - kids, he understands.

"Yes," he breathes out with an air of exhilaration and turns to the kids again, pointing to the middle child, "Danny is the original. He is from this dimension and timeline, that is. Dan," he turns his finger to the older boy, "is in the wrong timeline, he's Danny's future evil self redeemed into older bratty brother. Dani," he switches to the girl, "is Danny's clone, made by his arch-nemesis of a godfather. If she starts melting at any point, wake me up immediately. If any of them start floating, sprouting tentacles, speaking to walls in static, or glowing, don't."

Bruce looks down to the kids. So, definitely metas, that would explain the government trying to get them... Or, no, it wouldn't because he is fairly certain no government is going to blatantly ignore the Meta Protection Acts.

"Don't let them raise the dead, and if you give them food, make sure it doesn't have a face. If you find more than three of them, it means one of them has duplicated, don't worry, they will absorb it back later. Absolutely don't let them touch any guns," Constantine is backing down to the door as he speaks, his gaze flickering from the kids to Bruce and back every second. Like he is leaving a ticking bomb in Bruce's lap, and not three children. "Danny is, comparatively, the most responsible one, the other two are up for any dubious trouble they can get to at any moment. Oh, and their memories are wonky because of de-aging, they remember some things but not others, so if they say something particularly disturbing, it's most likely some random piece of knowledge they managed to keep."

Bruce raises an eyebrow. He did get the part about the kids being, well, abnormal in the matters of their origins, but the disjointed set of rules and advices doesn't help as much as Constantine probably thinks it does.

"Allergies, preferences, ages they were before?" He tries to get at least some more info down before John disappears through the door. Actually, maybe he should send someone to handcuff the man to the bed lest he disappears completely.

"None, but don't let them eat cutlery. Danny likes space, Dani has a thing for exploring, and Dan likes violence." The older kid stirs in Bruce's lap and says something in the direction of Constantine. No sound comes out, but the man seems to get what he's trying to say anyway, "Okay, yes, that was rude of me, sorry. Dan likes... exercise," he ends up with, and that placate the boy enough to slump down and cross his arms. John sighs, "They were seventeen, fourteen, and twenty respectively. Now," he snaps his fingers, and suddenly Bruce can hear the girl - Dani - humming a tune under her breath. So, he lifted the silence spell, it seems.

"Good fucking luck," John wishes to Bruce, earnestly, and all but vanishes away.

Bruce sighs and looks down to the kids.

"Are you hungry?" He tries, and all eyes are on him at once, attentive and unblinking.

"Fruitloops," Danny says, and while Bruce is positive that's the name for a cereal, he gets a feeling that's not what the kid meant.

[erinwantstowrite]

sorry i haven't posted much ive been waiting for a breakthrough while helping out with my dad + working and i've finally got the breakthrough but i HAVE TO GO TO WORRRRRK 💔

[dontfightmecauseillcry]

DC X DP prompt idea (?)

Screaming, crying, throwing up, It's 2 am

Doesn't have to be a crossover but it came to me like this

So you know, those misunderstandings that Phantom is very old/ died a while ago? Add in trans Danny, add in who ever the fuck finding out about his many dead clones with Dani being the only survivor. Add in Danny mentioning that Vlad wanted to let Dani die cause she was a girl and wanted to keep on trying for a boy.

And what do you have?

The Justice League becoming very protective of their trans ghost member who died young in childbirth. Getting right that Vlad is the (much older) father, but getting the wrong impression cause that's always yummy when it happens. Child marriages unfortunately happened a lot back in the day 😔(They still happen)

Danny, unaware and Dani feeding the flames.

I'm thinking Danny is in a Captain Marvel situation, joining the League young, but everyone thinks he's eternally a teen. He explains that he's aging cause a ghost's outside reflects the inside (which is true). Danny says he feels grown up being apart of the JL instead of "just" the protector spirit he was before... no other reason. The League thinks that Dani was following her dad's lead in the aging department since they don't meet her until much later, unaware she prefers to stay 12. That's why she looks a little too old to be his daughter, why would they assume cloning? Danny calls her his daughter and the only point of reference they have on clone relationships is League of Assassin clones and Superman with his clones. (Are there more clones in DC?)

[dragonshoardofworks]

Ecto-Implosion Time! (1/3)

Take The Stars And Show Them How To Glow by Ikira

@ikiracake and I worked together for this year's @ecto-implosion ! Thank you for choosing me! (ﾉΦωΦ)ﾉ

It was such an amazing experience and while at first the project seemed relatively simple, the plot inspiration bunny evolved into a fluffy hydra that will be published into three separate posts for each chapter update.

Be sure to check the phic, Ikira did such an amazing job and deserves the recognition, so gogogogo!

(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Under the cut, some trivia for y'all delight!

@tourettesdog's Little Baby Man took residence once again in my brain and decided he wanted to become the mascot of a team of magical girls! And, of course, Dani didn't want to be left out, so she got her own little baby form (again)!

The crystals at first were intended to be similar to a gem/crystal formation, but nothing I was dishing out satisfied me at first, so I went treasure hunting on google and inspiration hit me: since the ribbons are moth-like, why not using a cocoon-like gem as if it was a Swarovski? (Thank you @teacupsandstarlight for rubber-ducking me for those irl.)

It was Ikira's idea to make Dani's theme color lilac and I ran away with it like a chipmunk on cola, so thank you again!

Hope y'all looking forward tomorrow's update, things are gonna become... interesting...

꒰(@｀꒳´)꒱

[coolcoolcoolbutwtf]

It took Ellie a week and a half before they managed to somewhat stop her (ei Danny stepped in bc even he pitied them ) and Danny had never been prouder of her.

The prank war of 09 was something no one of the GIW working in their town would ever forget. If he shed a few proud tears no one would blame him.

Ei Ellie terrorized The GIW agents so badly with her pranks several quit and twelve are still in the psych ward getting treatment. Fifteen agents were never seen again in town, they will not be missed.

[caitlynmeow]

When the girls were younger they were truly a handful and Alcina was used to the noise and chaos. But when going out in different settings, she noticed a pattern: when Daniela and Cassandra are together it turns very chaotic very quickly because Cassandra is an enabler and encourages Daniela to get into all kinds of mischief.

Pairing Daniela and Bela is a more peaceful solution. Bela is naturally calm, unlike Cassandra. She doesn’t egg Daniela on, and the two of them can remain quiet for a long time. Also, when in a new social setting like a big gathering, Daniela does feel a little shy. In those situations, she seeks out Bela and sticks by her side, remaining with her until she is comfortable enough to do things on her own.

Even in their house, Daniela would seek Cassandra to play with for hours to no entd. But when it comes to more quiet activities, like reading, she’d usually find Bela and ask her to read some books for her.

[storybounded]

I did it, I finally have seen all sonic movies.

[falsebread]

OBJECTION!

[pocketsonny]

It is SO funny how my oc Dani became one of favorites bc he was very much born as “okay this is Angelo’s shitty ex” but then i kept fleshing him out and now he’s doing what he loves doing: stealing the spotlight. From my actual protagonist Ray who I ought to give more love to (and Angelo as well).

I think he won the moment i gave him a band and the found family trope. I am a sucker for that…also love characters with abandonment issues who just want to be loved and are self destructive

[hacash]

@boasamishipper

Dani Rojas in that tank top TED LASSO | 3.08

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: I did something I'm not proud of. Dan: Did you burn the ribs? Danny: No, Dan, the meal I promised you to get you here is fine. Dani: Did you forget the games? Danny: No, Dani, the board games I promised you, to get you here are in the same game room as last time. Jazz: Did you sell the hot tub? Danny: No, Jazz, the spa day I promised you to get you here will be happening tomarrow as scheduled. Dan: Then what you do? Danny: I got married this morning. Dani: You eloped!? Danny: The marriage was because of a cult Jazz: You're in a cult!? Danny: I'm Mr.Wayne now Dan: You didn't keep the family name! Danny: It wasn't my proudest moment, but a Phantom worshiping cult caught me in a summoning circle. They planned on sacrificing Bruce Wayne, a rich, beloved human they kidnapped, to use his death as a binding charm, forever enslaving me to them. I couldn't let him die, so I started a ghost marriage. Being married to me made the ritual invalid. Ten seconds after I finished my vows, Nightwing crashed through a window and set us free. It made the whole marriage pointless, and I ended up looking like an immortal idiot. Dan: Oh I forgot about that. Till this day I wasn't able to divorce him- Danny did you know we can't count as widows since we're partcially dead? Danny: YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN?! Dan: In defense, half of the world was destroyed at this point in my timeline, so I didn't think it would happen to you. My marriage to Bruce was entirely blown out of proportion. World leaders should have focused more on the menace tearing the world apart. Danny: YOU WERE THE MENACE. Dani: Wait does this mean Danny is sleeping with Dan's husband? Dan: *Gasp* It seems my greatest enemy was myself all along. Danny: There is no sleeping with anyone! Jazz: So, going back to the hot tub- will wine be provided or should I go get my own? Danny: I don't know what I bother hosting siblings night. Get out my house. Dan/Dani/Jazz: No. Danny: I hate you all.

[soulrox]

Imma add to this. Also warning all my DC knowledge comes exclusively from other DOxDC crossover works

So Jason dead and in the Zone meets Phantom cause he was trying to steal Johnny 13s bike (stole this from another prompt floating around tumblr) they become fast friends hanging out any time Danny’s in the Zone.

Jason explores the realms when Danny’s gone he finds Gotham. There’s a Gotham in the realms cause of course the most cursed city has a city spirit and very powerful. Keeps an eye on her Bats and her ghost people. Jason is loved by her and gets shown like videos of both hero/rouge fails and stuff. Jason of course shows Danny when he’s back and shows Danny the Gohst version of the Batcave (he’s dead bat rules go out the window)

Lady Gotham is introduced to Danny and already likes him cause tiny little man all alone protecting his own city (maybe amity is also starting to get a city spirit from all the echo) proceeds to introduce the two of them to her friends. Brings them to poker night. To introduce them to her friends IE other spirits, ancients and demons. (She’s cursed of course she knows demons)

Jason as a crime ally kid knows how to play. Danny does not. So Jason joins in a round to show Danny and immediately starts to cheat, (the demons are also cheating) although Jason has nothing to bet so Lasy Gotham is “paying” for it (idk what they are betting originally)

Jason is sweeping them the demons get mad and start doubling, adding in mythical items and such then someone puts in a soul contract.

“This is a soul of a (insert clicking noise) they are hardy people good for tough jobs. I’m looking forward to their death to use them but I will bet them and beat you”

Danny horrified tells Jason he needs to win now more then ever.Danny is a little bean and doesn’t want people even dead to be harmed.

Other demons add in there owned soul contracts, no names are said of who they are for just what they can be used for.

After the game is over. Not actually over the demons were starting to be really pissed off and gonna attack soon. Lady Gotham is a proud mamma, protecting them and laughing at the others misfortune. Jason and Danny fly off and go through all they won:

~ random medieval weapons (3)

~ random mystical weapons (2)

~ random demonic weapon (7)

~ a trunk of golden coins cursed (?)

~ soul contracts (3)

~ a music disk

~ 1 count it one bottle of blood Ewwww

~ a severed hand

Jason opens up the soul contracts to see what poor souls sold their soul to demons. When Jason opens the second one he just freezes. Danny meanwhile playing with a mace they won when he sees Jason freeze.

“Jay you good what’s wrong”

Jason just bends over and the loudest slightly unhinged laughter just spills from his mouth. He waves the paper around in the air. Danny doesn’t get it even after looking over the contract.

“I John Constantine do sell my soul to (un-holy named demon) for the one time use of (random string of letters) item blah blah blah”

It takes Jason 5 minutes minimum to stop laughing, can’t die of laughter when already dead.

After Jason explains how this contract for one John Constantine is so funny cause this guy is someone he knows and that he now owns a piece.

They later decide they need to actually learn what to do with these soul contracts, they don’t actually want to own anyone…well Jason totally want to own John but shhh

So they go find someone to ask what to do with them, maybe clockwork or funnier is Walker cause he’s the law.

They find a way to return the 2 other souls but can’t return Constantine’s cause it’s not a full soul. Que Jason and Danny going around the zone looking for more pieces.

Jason gets resurrected but remembers the zone and def has Danny’s sigil in order to call him.

Danny’s still collecting John’s soul gotta catch them all (there is a fic about this) and giving them to Jason cause when it’s full soul Jay can return it :)

Yea Jason will return it…after he makes John do ridiculous things. >:) (what can you do with a soul?)

Now jump cut to the monthly meeting of the JL and the JLD. Red hood is there cause he needs something from someone idk and when John shows up (late) to the meeting steps into the room eyes sweeping over the league and when he gets to Hood just dead stops and freezes

Jason immediately clocks what’s happens and under his mask is smirking not that it’s seen. He got told when he and Danny talked to the other 2 people when returning their soul they knew they held it and could feel they had owned ship. Batman can tell he is smirking but doesn’t understand what’s happening.

The league watches in confusion when John yells “how do you own my soul and so much of it that I can feel you own a majority”

DPxDC

Jason Todd owns a part of Constantine’s soul. From when he was dead and in the realms he played poker against a demon or something and won it.

Fast forward to him being alive and seeing John in the watchtower or something and I HC that you can tell someone owns your soul you feel it or something. And so in horror John realizes Red hood owns a share of his soul. John having no idea how this guy owns it.

Idk if it’s known that Red Hood is Jason or not

Learns his soul was traded and is disgruntled to learn that.

[msnanu]

it was a beautiful day in my city and i went namjooning today. really needed to take a day for me and rest after a shitty weekend. also, i'm living for every single JK photoshoots that are being released lately 🔥🤸‍♀️

[rosemaryhoney27]

Danny's request for shelter part 1

Title: "Sanctuary of Themyscira"

Danny Fenton stood on the Watchtower, his hands clenched at his sides. The stars beyond the observation deck shimmered cold and distant, but they weren’t what made him feel alone. Somewhere out there, in the shadows between Earth and the Ghost Zone, people were hunting his sisters.

Jazz and Dani hadn’t asked for this. They weren’t ghosts like him—well, Dani sort of was, being his clone—but that hadn’t stopped the Realms Enforcement Coalition or the surviving anti-meta groups from painting a target on their backs. Just for being related to him. Just for loving him.

They’d already been attacked twice. Once at a safe house in Keystone. Again at a supposed sanctuary in Star City. They were lucky to be alive. Danny was done taking chances.

Which is why he now stood before her.

Wonder Woman—Princess Diana of Themyscira—watched him with eyes both fierce and kind. She didn’t look surprised when he explained his request, only thoughtful.

"You wish for them to be hidden," she said. "To be sheltered in Themyscira."

Danny nodded. “Just until this all blows over. I know how it sounds. And I know they’re strong. But this isn’t about what they can handle—it’s about what they shouldn’t have to. Please. They’re in danger just for being close to me.”

Diana studied him. “And what of you?”

He shrugged with a bitter smile. “I’ve survived worse. They’re my priority.”

There was silence between them, filled only by the hum of the Watchtower systems. Then Diana’s voice broke through, resolute.

“Very well. Themyscira will grant them sanctuary. They will be treated as honored guests.”

Danny’s breath caught. “Thank you. You won’t regret this.”

Jazz had protested.

“Danny, you don’t have to protect me! I’ve trained with Batman, remember? I’m not helpless.”

Dani had backed her up. “I literally have your powers! I’ve taken on ghosts that make grown heroes wet their spandex. We don’t need babysitting!”

But in the end, neither could deny the way Danny had looked at them. Like he’d already imagined their graves. Like he'd already lost them in his mind.

So they agreed—reluctantly.

Themyscira was unlike anything either girl had expected.

When they stepped through the portal guided by Zatanna’s spell, they were met with a sun-drenched island blooming with wild beauty and carved stone. Towering cliffs, open skies, and the rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore. And warriors. So many warriors.

The Amazons were formidable, radiant in their discipline and power, but it was their welcome that surprised the girls the most.

“Dani, yes? The spirited one,” said General Philippus, eyeing the younger girl with a smirk. “I hope you like sparring. Our youngest cadets are already placing bets.”

“And Jasmine,” added Antiope, voice smooth like flowing water, “We’ve heard of your mind. Your insights will be treasured in our archives. Perhaps even in our strategy councils.”

Jazz blinked. “I’m a psychology major…”

Antiope only grinned. “All the better.”

Within days, Jazz had found herself deep in Themysciran scrolls, helping redesign training protocols and discussing philosophy with scholars and generals alike. It was exhilarating—and humbling.

And Dani? Dani was a menace. In the best way. She flew circles around the training fields, challenged warriors to aerial tag, and managed to beat three of them in a footrace on her second day.

One afternoon, as Dani flew over the coast, a group of young Amazons cheered from below, chanting her name like she was some kind of celebrity.

“She reminds me of Diana when she was young,” said one elder with fond exasperation. “So much mischief in such a small package.”

Back in the mortal world, Danny slept easier—just a little. Knowing they were safe helped. But what he didn’t know was how much the Amazons had taken his sisters into their hearts.

When a reconnaissance agent from one of the hostile groups tried to breach the veil of Themyscira, they were caught, questioned, and sent back missing a few teeth and with a very clear message:

“Harm them, and you’ll face Themyscira’s wrath.”

Weeks later, Diana approached Danny again.

“You did well,” she told him. “Few would have thought to ask for sanctuary, even fewer would have been granted it. But I am glad you trusted us.”

Danny gave a tired smile. “They’re my family. I’d do anything for them.”

Diana nodded. “And they are now our family too.”

And in Themyscira, Jazz sat beneath a flowering tree, writing in a leather-bound journal about trauma and identity in warrior societies, while Dani taught a group of younger Amazons how to do mid-air backflips—and left a trail of laughter in her wake.

They were safe. They were home.

And for once, Danny Fenton could breathe.

[sunarryn]

DP X Marvel #30

Dani Phantom wasn’t exactly trying to join a government-sanctioned group of reformed (read: questionably reformed) assassins, mercenaries, and general menaces to society, but in her defense, she didn’t know what a Thunderbolt was. She thought they were just a bunch of really cool weirdos with snappy outfits who didn’t mind that she phased through walls sometimes or accidentally vaporized a training drone.

It started when Dani, on the run from some GIW idiots, phased through several realities and crash-landed in the middle of a Thunderbolts operation — specifically, right between Bucky Barnes (grumpy, armed, tired) and Yelena Belova (chaotic, armed, also tired but hiding it better).

“Is that a child?” Yelena asked, peering over Bucky’s shoulder like he was a slightly inconvenient lamp.

Bucky, gun still raised, frowned. “That’s a floating child.”

“I can see that, Captain Obvious,” Yelena snapped, flipping her knife casually in her hand. “Why is she floating like—”

Before she could finish that thought, Dani spun midair and zapped the rogue Hydra agents sneaking up behind them with a giant neon green energy blast. The agents went flying into a brick wall like someone had yeeted them across a football field.

“…Okay,” Yelena said brightly. “I like her. She can stay.”

“I—what?” Bucky sputtered, lowering his gun slightly. “She’s a kid, Yelena.”

“And she vaporized five men without blinking,” Yelena pointed out, beaming like a proud aunt. “I say we keep her. She’s Thunderbolt material. Very murder-y. Very spunky.”

“She’s like ten.”

“Exactly. She’s moldable. We can teach her the good stuff early,” Yelena insisted, already imagining Dani learning to throw knives and argue over which snacks were superior.

Meanwhile, Dani floated down to their level, blinking wide green eyes. “Are you guys… superheroes?” she asked hopefully.

Yelena immediately lied through her teeth. “Yes. Very professional. Very respected. No felonies.”

Bucky choked on absolutely nothing.

Thus began Dani’s unofficial, highly illegal induction into the Thunderbolts.

Nobody officially signed paperwork. Dani just started showing up. She helped steal Hydra files. She broke into a SHIELD safehouse for snacks. She haunted a couple of corrupt senators for laughs. The team decided if the government didn’t want her around, they should have given them actual HR training.

The real problem started when Bucky and Yelena decided they were both, separately, her legal guardian.

“You are not responsible enough to raise a kid,” Bucky said one evening, arms crossed while Dani hovered upside down from the ceiling chewing bubblegum she definitely stole from somewhere.

“And you are?” Yelena scoffed, tossing popcorn at Dani, who caught it in her mouth mid-flip. “You still get confused by TikTok.”

“That’s not the same as raising a kid!” Bucky barked. “She needs stability. Structure. Rules.”

“She needs to learn how to properly dismantle a car bomb in under thirty seconds,” Yelena said cheerfully. “You Americans are so boring.”

“I fought in World War II, of course I’m boring!” Bucky exploded.

“You’re ancient,” Yelena sniffed. “You probably think letting her get a tattoo is ‘dangerous.’”

“She’s a kid!” Bucky nearly screamed.

In the background, Dani giggled and skated on a conjured green energy hoverboard through the briefing room, knocking over chairs and sending a very concerned Red Guardian flying out of the way with a yell.

“This is fine,” Yelena said as Bucky watched in silent horror. “She is thriving.”

Thriving was one word for it.

Things escalated when Bucky tried to enforce an 8 PM bedtime.

“I’m literally a half-ghost,” Dani said, deadpan. “I don’t sleep.”

Bucky blinked. “What do you mean you don’t sleep? Everyone sleeps.”

Yelena, sitting smugly on the couch with a tub of ice cream, smirked. “Ha! The child sides with me. We binge-watch shows until 3 AM.”

“You’re killing her brain cells,” Bucky growled.

“Undead,” Dani corrected sweetly, phasing through the ceiling to avoid capture when Bucky tried to confiscate her ghostly hoverboard.

Meanwhile, other Thunderbolts members slowly realized there was a child among them and had no idea how to handle it.

Red Guardian tried to teach her Russian wrestling moves.

Taskmaster, after three failed attempts at babysitting, locked themselves in their room and refused to come out without bribes of coffee.

Ghost (Ava Starr) just accepted Dani as a background gremlin who occasionally made her coffee float across the room when she was too tired to move.

The real bomb dropped when Jazz Fenton stormed into the Thunderbolts’ compound.

Not walked. Stormed. Like an avenging angel armed with binders full of academic papers, parental rights lawsuits, and the righteous fury of an older sister forced to deal with supernatural nonsense since age twelve.

“What. The hell. Is going on,” Jazz asked, her voice eerily calm as she stared down Bucky, Yelena, Red Guardian, and Taskmaster at once.

Nobody moved.

Even Dani froze, halfway through trying to fit a stolen grenade into her backpack.

“You—” Jazz pointed at Bucky. “—brought my minor sister to an assassination mission.”

Bucky immediately tried to stand at attention like she was a general. “In my defense, she’s very good at it—”

“And you—” she pivoted to Yelena, who grinned unrepentantly. “—taught her how to hotwire a motorcycle!”

“Useful life skills,” Yelena said brightly.

“And you—” Jazz growled at Red Guardian, who tried to blend into the wall. “—gave her vodka!”

“It was for medicinal purposes,” Red Guardian said weakly.

Jazz took a deep breath, cracked her knuckles, and pulled out a thick legal document titled “Fenton v. Thunderbolts: Custody Hearing” that somehow already had signed pages, notarizations, and citations of obscure interdimensional child protection laws.

“I am taking her home,” Jazz said, enunciating every syllable like she wanted to bludgeon them with the concept of language.

Dani immediately wailed, “Nooooooo! Jazz! I like it here! They let me have grenades!”

“You are eleven!”

“Twelve and a half!” Dani insisted.

“I was giving her a flamethrower for her half-birthday,” Yelena said proudly.

Jazz pinched the bridge of her nose like she was resisting the urge to start swinging.

“I don’t even know how you people are still alive,” Jazz muttered.

“Luck,” Bucky offered helpfully. “Mostly luck. And sarcasm.”

“And murder,” Yelena added. “Don’t forget murder.”

Jazz turned to Dani, crouching so they were eye-level.

“Sweetie,” she said in the voice adults use when they’re seconds from committing a homicide, “you cannot just…join a government hit squad.”

“But they have matching jackets,” Dani said, voice wobbling. “And Bucky taught me how to punch people really hard without breaking my own hand!”

“She is surprisingly good at it,” Bucky muttered under his breath, rubbing his jaw where Dani had accidentally socked him two days prior during sparring.

Jazz looked up at the group, expression utterly blank.

“You realize that she’s technically a meta-human, a half-ghost, and a minor with no legal documentation in this universe, right?”

There was a pause.

Bucky blinked. “Technically…?”

Yelena shrugged. “Technicalities are boring. She lives here now.”

Jazz threw her hands in the air. “That’s not how this works! That’s not how any of this works!”

Dani, sensing weakness, clutched Jazz’s arm and put on the biggest, saddest puppy eyes she could muster.

“But Jazz…I finally have a family here…” she sniffled, lip trembling.

Bucky and Yelena, without missing a beat, immediately looked at Jazz like how dare you break her little heart you monster.

Jazz stared at them. “You are manipulating me.”

“Yes,” Yelena said brightly. “It’s working, no?”

Jazz closed her eyes, counted to ten in Esperanto, and resigned herself to the fact that apparently her life was now a living sitcom.

“I want a full academic curriculum. Supervision. No war crimes without prior approval. And absolutely, absolutely, no assassinations unless it’s self-defense and I’m there to supervise.”

Dani fist-pumped midair. “YES!”

Bucky and Yelena high-fived behind her back.

“I’m going to regret this,” Jazz muttered.

“You already regret it,” Bucky said, smirking.

And that’s how little Dani Fenton, half-ghost clone, menace of Amity Park, became the official junior Thunderbolt, the semi-official godchild of two retired assassins, and the proud holder of a laminated “Certified Baby Badass” card that Yelena made with glitter pens.

There were explosions. There were lawsuits. There were training montages.

There was Jazz drinking an entire bottle of wine while watching Dani yeet herself at Taskmaster with a battle cry of “YEET OR BE YEETED!”

There were Bucky and Yelena arguing over which martial arts Dani should master first (“Russian Sambo!” “No, Krav Maga!” “SHE’S A CHILD YOU MANIACS!”) while Dani snuck off to teach herself breakdancing instead.

There was Dani winning the team sparring competition by phasing through everyone’s attacks and slapping sticky notes labeled “LOSER” on their foreheads before they even realized what was happening.

There was Jazz realizing too late that she was now somehow not only Dani’s sister, therapist, and guardian…but also the unofficial mom of the entire Thunderbolts squad, a title she did not want but was too tired to fight.

And there was Dani — floating over the compound at sunset, arms spread wide, grinning so hard her face hurt — who realized for the first time in a long time that maybe, just maybe, being a weird half-ghost clone kid wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Especially if you had a dysfunctional murder family to back you up.

[racke7]

I've seen a few versions of this being "righteous rants", and I-... Hmm... What if we go a little bit further?

Danny knows that if the Justice League had ever gotten involved with the Amity Park situation? It would've been a disaster. They would've sent someone, they would've gotten overshadowed, and the town would've pretty much been razed to the ground.

Like, he would've still appreciated if they'd like... checked in or something? Or at least sent a message to the people of Amity Park about why they were staying the hell away.

But no, they got nothing. Radio-fucking-silence.

Danny isn't going to call the Justice League a bunch of dickheads, because they do seem to be doing good stuff outside of Amity Park. But it's very much a grudging kind of acknowledgment.

Then one of those fuckers tosses his car at one of their villains.

Did the guy need an improvised weapon? Maybe? Could he have used the light-pole right next to it? Absolutely. It would've even had better balance for if 'Superboy' wanted to continue wailing away at him with it.

It would've been a huge chunk of steel that he could've used to keep hitting the villain. But no. No, he had to use Danny's fucking car to throw at the villain.

And then he fucking misses the shot.

So, not only has he destroyed Danny's car for no fucking reason, he's also basically just chucked it through a building also for no fucking reason.

That's the kind of collateral-damage that would've seen Amity Park bring out torches and pitchfork and chase Phantom through the damn streets.

And here? Here it's just another fucking Tuesday.

Danny is-... Danny is just done with it.

No, not in the sense of a shrug and a 'what can you do'-attitude. No, Danny is done with accepting that this is okay. Because it isn't okay. And Danny is going to shove that down these fucker's throats as if it was fucking barbed wire.

This? This is the start of Danny's Villain-Arc. And he's going to make everyone responsible for it suffer.

(At least until Jazz cottons onto what he's doing and sits him down for a long talk about 'appropriate levels of retaliation', but that's probably still months away at this point. And the Justice League will rue the fucking day they crossed him.)

Short DPXDC Prompts #972

Danny is just trying to keep a stable job and pay rent in Metropolis. When Superboy takes his shitty old car and throws it at Parasite and misses. Something in Danny’s mind cracks. His wall of rage and restraint crumbles. He has words to say to Superboy for throwing his fucking car.