#<- except. of course. the ones who are not mine which is 23 of them jslkdfdsf

[tobyisave]

Okay while I'm at it, here's...every single character in the campaign! It is indeed based on The Hunger Games which has been really really fun but also means it took me literal weeks to design everyone because theres 24 OF THEM...

18 characters belong to our incredible DMs @elliotly and @lgaige!! @pyrotechnicarus plays Larch, I play Poa, and then there's 4 other PCs (Chip, Crest, Via, Mei) too. A real guy fest!!

[bedsyandco]

Better off Together • Emerson x Will

23 December ‘23

Emerson was sitting in one of her favourite cafés in San Jose, enjoying the company of Thomas and William a few days before Christmas. She’d been soaking up these few days back home, enjoying the break from Boston and the situation she found herself in there. It’s been a few weeks and Em can finally think about Will without feeling like she’s going to throw up.

“How’s lover boy doing?” Thomas asks teasingly.

“He’s uh- I wouldn’t know actually. We ended it.”

“You ended it?” William asks

“He ended it,” Emerson say, seemingly fascinated with the menu laying in front of her

“He ended it?” Thomas asks disbelievingly

“Yes Thom, that’s what I said. He broke up with me.”

“Why?” Thomas asks

“A lot of reasons. The main one being that I didn’t want to tell my dad about us yet and that meant keeping our relationship a secret. And the fact that he thinks I don’t love him.”

“Do you? Love him?” William asks and Em nods still not making eye contact with them.

“Did you tell him?” Thomas asks

“Even if I did, actions speak louder than words and he was right mine doesn’t say that I love him,” Emerson says

“Why don’t you wanna tell your dad?” William asks

“I just don’t know how he’s gonna react, with how everything ended with Jason. And Will is apart of our organization, it would be frowned upon for me to be romantically involved with him,” Emerson explains

“I’m pretty sure your dad already knows.” Thomas says

“There’s no way,” Em argues

“He went to Boston multiple times over the last few months. Did he come see you once? Because if he didn’t, who else is in Boston except Will?” Thomas asks

“The sharks played Boston at some point,” she says

“Not more than once. I’m like 99.8% sure your dad has been visiting Will and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s known all this time.” Thomas says

“He would’ve said something. They both would have said something.” she argues

“Or maybe both of them were waiting for you to tell them,” William says and Em bites her lip while she contemplates this information.

“I have to go,” she says abruptly making her way out of the cafe and into her car, driving home.

—

“Dad?” Emerson asks, knocking on her dad's home office door.

“Come in sweetheart,” her dad calls and she pushes open the door, entering the room and sitting on one of the chairs, wiping her hands on her pants nervously.

“What’s wrong Emmy,” her dad asks worriedly

“Can we talk about something?” Em asks and her dad closes his laptop, giving her his full attention. A rare occurrence.

“It’s um-“ em starts, unsure of how to word this properly.

“Is this about a certain boy? He looks a little bit like a Disney prince.” her dad asks amused

“You do know,” she accuses and her dad only smiles

“Of course I know Emmy. You’re my daughter and he’s one of my prospects, you really thought you could hide that from me?” her dad asks gently, a little bit of hurt shining through his expression at the thought that she’d want to.

“I wasn’t sure how you were going to react, knowing he’s part of our team and it would complicate things. Also the way things ended with Jason-“ she says and her dad cuts her off

“Let’s not even go there. Don’t even say his name. Will’s nothing like him.” her dad says and she eyes him sceptically

“You know him well?” Em questions her father

“I’ve had dinner with him a few times. Threatened to keep him in the minors for years if he kept seeing you,” her dad says and Em’s jaw drops

“You did not,”

“I did. Kid took it like a champ though. Respectfully told me that I need him just as much as he needs me, which is true. Also told me that he loves my daughter and he’s going to continue seeing her despite what I had to say. Our dinners after that were quite pleasant, mostly discussing his hockey.”

“So…if I were to tell you that I was in love with said Disney prince looking hockey player… you would approve?” Em asks

“Let’s just say if you have to date a hockey player, I’m glad it’s him,” her dad says and she smiles faintly, standing up at the same time her dad does and going to give him a hug.

“Dad?” She mumbles against his chest

“Yeah?”

“Can you buy me a plane ticket to Sweden?” she asks sweetly smiling up at him

“It will be waiting for you under the tree,” her dad answers, kissing her on the head.

—

25 December ‘23

Em: “Merry Christmas Pretty boy,”

Is the text Will wakes up to on Christmas morning and he really does feel like a little kid on Christmas because of it. It wasn’t expected. Him and Em, while on civil terms haven’t communicated much, if at all, since their break up, but she seemed in a good mood and he missed her so he wasn’t about to ruin it for both of them. She hasn’t called him pretty boy in so long.

Will: “Merry Christmas Princess,”

Em: “Good luck tomorrow.”

Is the response he receives and he’s a little disappointed because that seems a lot like goodbye already.

Will: “you’d love Sweden. We miss you.”

Is what he decides to text back, knowing she could see everyone’s posts, and the whole group was here but her.

—

31 December ‘23

Em feels a little nervous as she sits next to Rory, gripping her hand tight. She doesn’t know if this was the best decision, showing up to the game wearing Will’s jersey. Her flight got there last night and she went to bed as soon as she got to the hotel, sleeping right up until she had to start getting ready for the game.

She texted Rory before deciding to come to Sweden, coordinating hotels and arena seats. They were sitting right in front of the glass, behind Jacob’s net. The first guy that notices her is Jacob, sending her a little smile, and he really doesn’t look that surprised to see her at all. Rory must have told him she was coming.

Then comes Drew and Gabe, both spotting her at the same time. Drew only nods politely but Gabe stops and points to her saying “nice jersey” before skating away.

Ryan and her spot each other at the same time but she glances away first not wanting to prolong that communication, dismissing him effectively as he we skates past them without stopping towards two girls sitting only a few seats away from them. She recognizes them from Rory’s instagram knowing one of them is dating Ryan. She would be more intrigued to study the girl that her best friend is supposedly so infatuated with but Will comes into her vision in that exact moment capturing all her attention.

He’s so shocked to see her all his movements stop and for a second he’s just standing there looking at her until Gabe shoots a puck into his skate, snapping him out of it.

Em wipes her hands on her pants before bending down to pick up her sign, holding it up to the glass so that Will can see.

“Score a goal…Score a date”

Will shoots her a wide grin, no doubt also thinking about the fact that this is how their first date also came to be.

“Just one?” Will asks and she nods.

“The reservation is already made, for when we’re back.” She says, so Will knows that even if he doesn’t score tonight, she still wants to go on that date. Will sends her a smile, putting his hand on the glass for a moment before skating away, knowing this wasn’t easy for her. Though he wasn’t sure that wearing his jersey in Sweden, where barely anyone knew them had the same significance as wearing it at home would, it was a step, and he could acknowledge that.

—

The night ends in a win for the guys and she returns to the hotel, not sure if it was the best idea to wait for Will to come out of the locker room like the other girls.

An hour or so later Em was just about to get in her bed when she heard a knock on her hotel door. The sight she saw when she opened the door was one she was sure she wouldn’t soon forget. Will was standing there, in his game suit, the top two buttons undone, his hair a little messy and still damp from his shower.

“Hi,” she says a little dumbfounded and Will smirks at her.

“You gonna let me in?” he asks amused and Em opens the door wider, letting Will slip inside.

“You’re in Sweden,” he simply states taking off his blazer and hanging it across the vanity chair.

“I’m in Sweden,” she confirms even though they can both obviously see she’s here.

“You flew to Sweden, from California?” Will asks

“I did,” she answers

“You’re in Swe-“

“Yes Will. I’m in Sweden, I flew here from Cali. Ask me why I’m here,” she says impatiently

“I don’t think I wanna know the answer to that,” Will says softly and Em’s heart falls to her stomach.

“Will-“

“I shouldn’t have said yes to the date. At least not until we’ve talked. I was just too excited to see you and I wasn’t really thinking,” Will says quickly, taking a seat on her bed while she stands in the middle of the room.

“Okay.” Em replies, not sure what else to say, trying to hide her hurt and panic although she’s sure Will can see right through her.

“Why’d you come to Sweden?” Will asks and Em connects her hands behind her back, hoping to hide her nerves surrounding this conversation.

“For you. I talked to my dad. He knew about us. And you knew he knew,” she says softly

“Yeah we’ve met a few times, told him the very first time he came to Boston. Well I didn’t really have to tell him, he already knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me. Things would’ve been so different if I had know-“

“No they wouldn’t have. Because you weren’t the one making that decision to be with me publically. The decision was already made for you. If your dad hadn’t already known, and I didn’t break up with you, you wouldn’t have told him and we’d still be sneaking around.” Will says with a non-negotiable tone. Not that em could really argue with that. He was right.

“You’re right. If you didn’t break up with me I wouldn’t have told him, not any time soon. We would still be keeping us a secret, and that wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”

“You really hurt my feelings,” Will says softly and Em stops herself from walking closer and touching him. This was a hard conversation they needed to have. And they both had to have a clear mind for it.

“I know. And I’m sorry Will. Please believe me when I say it was never my intention to hurt you, and me keeping this relationship a secret also had nothing to do with you. It was all me and my issues and insecurities and past. You’re…you’re everything I want. You’re perfect for me and it kills me that I messed it up before I even really had the chance to experience it.” Em says and crouches down in front of Will, taking his hands into hers.

“If I was a better person I would tell you that I don’t deserve you, that there’s some other girl that will treat you better, and there probably is, but I’m selfish and I want you all to myself. I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. But I promise I’ll do better this time. I’m gonna make mistakes Will, but I promise I’m gonna love you enough so it’ll be worth it.” she finishes and there’s a moment where she feels a flash of embarrassment. That she just laid her heart out like that. That she’s on her knees begging her ex to take her back. But she clings to that little part inside her heart telling her it’s Will and the moment of embarrassment and vulnerability is worth it.

“I wanna believe you. I do. I just-“

“I know. I get it. I heard you. Actions speak louder than words and I’m trying. I’m not asking for all of your love and your trust all at once. All I’m asking is a chance to earn it back.”

“You did fly to Sweden for me,” Will concedes with a little smile

“I did”

“You also wore my jersey,” he says, running his hand over the back of her neck.

“I did. I should’ve been wearing it all along. It looks a lot better than the other ones, don’t you think?”

“I do,” he answers, resting his forehead on top of hers and all he wants to do is kiss her, but he can’t, not yet. So he pulls away. He stands and pulls her up with him, gently pulling her in and squeezing her tight. He lets himself hold her for just a moment, enjoying the feeling again.

“I have to go before they notice I’m gone,” Will whispers, kissing her head and grabbing his blazer.

“Hey Em?” He says just as he’s about to walk out the door.

“Yeah,”

“I scored tonight, know what that means?” He asks unable to stop the smile booming on his face.

“What?”

“You owe me a date Princess,”

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, please forgive me if this sounds deranged. I understand if you don't reply, but I don't know any older women like me to go to for advice. Also, please disregard this if i forget to press anon (paranoid lol)

I never thought I wanted kids, my fiancé says she doesn't (sometimes she says things that make me think otherwise, but im going to say she doesn't because I have to take her at her word)

The thing is that recently it's been more and more in my head. Im in my early 30s so I don't know if it's a biological clock thing, I know I should say it to her but im not sure if I should either because I don't want to cause problems in our relationship, but also I don't even know if I understand how I feel about it (this is made worse by the fact that, while we live in the same city, we have temporarily had to live apart for financial reasons while saving for a mortgage)

The thing is, I feel like I'm starting to really want kids, which I know I should say to her

But

I feel like I only want kids with her if that makes sense? If I was with anyone else, I wouldn't want to

I'm not even sure if I actually want kids at all. It's more like (sorry if this is gross or anything). i have this increasing... need for want of a better word? To have with her what straight people have, I wish I could get pregnant by her somehow, I wish I could make a person who is made of me and of her, this makes me feel guilty and pained and confused (just to clarify this is not sexual confusion, I am and have always been exclusively same-sex attracted) I guess I just am at the point where I love her so much that I want something that I can't have, im not sure whether I actually want kids or whether it's some hormonal thing but (I know this sounds weird) i3 guess I wish I could express our love in that way? But I'm kind of in my feelings and confused about it, I dont know where to start or whether to tell her or what I would even say to her about it. Also most of my friends are either younger (wouldn't get it) or straight (and it would be humiliating to me to go to them over something that they could do without a second thought)

Anyway, i thought I'd come here because I know you have a lot more experience than me, and i was wondering what you would do in my position

I am one of those moms who never wanted kids. I am a realist and understood from a pretty young age that kids are a pain in the ass. They are expensive, a lifelong commitment, noisy, unpredictable and invasive. I was raised around nephews and nieces and younger cousins .I saw women my age get pregnant in high school. I grew up in the 80’s where half the “After School Specials” were about the hardships of teen pregnancy and a fair amount of books for teen girls and sitcoms aimed at my demographic featured young women having and raising unplanned kids. I very clearly saw the writing on the wall and wanted NO part of it. I wanted MY LIFE to be mine. 

     I have 5 kids all adopted from foster care and the truth is I didn’t want ANY Of them. I stated in my dating profile that kids were a deal breaker. I communicated over the course of my second relationship that kids were of negative interest to me and my life. My mind never changed and in all truth I just got tired of saying no and we became foster parents. MY ex loved the “IDEA” of being a parent but not the actual work. I understood this about her which was one reason I pushed back for years before giving in and agreeing. I know, based on my parents and my siblings I would be a decent mom, I just didn’t want to be. My kids are all grown except my 17 year old. They are 25, 25, 26 and 23. I have a pretty good relationship with them. My oldest daughter has a daughter who is 21 months. I am not a wonderful grandma. I work all the time and we live hours apart. I am focused on my life and home and future because for a 17 year marriage I neglected it. My kids all know I was a reluctant parent because we have a very open and honest relationship.

      Parenting with my ex was horrible. I worked two jobs, budgeted, did the majority of the homework, bedtime ritual, morning prep and house work and I spent years being exhausted. I partially stayed with her because until the final adoption we could not legally be married so I had NO legal right to the older 4 and was not about to abandon them to my wife. 

      I am telling you this background so you understand that I have a unique and possibly skewed perspective about parenting as a lesbian. It is totally normal to be unsure about wanting kids. I would say most straight people also go back and forth between the emotional idea of having kids as an extension of love and of a good use of their compatibility and partnership, to have and raise a happy, healthy child (ren) AND knowing the stress of money, unpredictable times, and the fact that, no matter how great parents are , kids are people and they very quickly for their own idea, personalities and who KNOWS what can happen given those facts. The difference is just that lesbians can’t accidentally become parents so we have to either overcome the fear and want the kids more than we don’t OR stay childless. Many great parents did not get there with careful planning, just one day they are thrust into the role and step up to the task. 

     My advice is to keep talking to your partner about your thoughts." I think I might want kids” is not the same and “WE MUST have kids or I won’t be happy”. Communicate your confusion and insecurities about it and also the good things you see about becoming parents.  I highly suggest volunteering for Big Brother Big Sisters, or even getting a foster care respite license. When you do respite you are essentially babysitting kids so adoptive and foster parents can get a break. These kids can be everything from charming and sweet to struggling with mental illness and trauma (which is why it requires training).. You can get a lot of fulfillment, experience and learning moments plus you are giving exhausted caretakers a break. Offer to babysit a friend's kids. See if the local Girl Scout needs volunteers, A lot of nature centers run kids summer programs or weekend programs like birthday parties and always need volunteers. Consider taking some childhood or first time parent classes. All of this is to give you a well rounded perspective of how kids can be, which is sometimes awful but very often wonderful and sweet and even when they are misbehaving you can feel joy in watching these tiny people learn and grow. 

You are correct about the idea of biological children vs adoption. They are not the same. I know a lot of people want to believe that they are exactly the same connection and bond but in my experience that is a lie people often tell themselves.  The fact is, parenting a child that is not biological does take a little more effort to bond and connect. Eventually it strengthens and can be wonderful but it is unique. Not better or worse, just different. My kids were all older, 4, 7, 8, 10, and 16 when they came into my life so they were already established in personality and habits and world view so it took time to align with each other. We are now all more like friends than a parent/child relationship but perhaps that just happens with age and maturity.  Adoption is by far cheaper with more available resources (through foster care) than using a sperm bank or asking a friend to donate so one of you can be pregnant but each couple needs to weigh what works for them. 

     I would suggest putting off major discussions until you can see each other but if not, do it over zoom or facetime so you can see each other’s expressions and have a nuanced conversation. I would not make any major purchases like a house until you are settled a bit and you both are at least on the same page with kids. That page might be neither of you are sure yet or that you both think it should wait until life is less up in the air to decide together. If you land solidly in the “i must have kids” camp and she says “NO”, you might have your answer. Then you must decide between letting go of the need for kids or moving on from the relationship. The worst thing you can do is push someone who is expressing that they don’t want kids into having kids. This is a bad deal. 

I know this is a lot. Kids are a big deal to both the relationship and to the kids who are brought into that relationship, no matter now that happens. I wish you the best and I hope, together, you can talk it out and get some clarity.

[rapifessor]

The Chiori Wishing Saga

It's time.

31,022 Primogems. 1,860 Genesis Crystals. 41 Masterless Starglitter. And 42 Intertwined Fates. All combined: 255 wishes for Chiori. Current pity counter is 5. Let's do this.

Just for fun: I'm playing a wishing game as well. I roll two d10, and if the result is 94 or higher, I make a batch of 10 wishes. If not, I only wish once. Why? Well, hypothetically the odds of getting a 5-Star in any given 10 pulls is 6%.

Alright, first Chiori at 23 pity. Rolled a 95 and instantly got her. Off to a great start here, maybe I'm onto something with my dice shenanigans.

Weapon banner: Uraku Misugiri at 16 pity. Easy game, wow.

Second Chiori at 58 pity. Oh, we're eating good.

74 pity: Jean'd. C9, by the way. Unfortunate, but this means I now have C2 Chiori guaranteed with just my freemogems. Speaking of which, I got her at 77 pity. 51 Intertwined Fates left at this point.

Ran out of free wishes, so now I'm buying my remaining double top-ups to restock. Unfortunately I get Mona'd at 78, then it takes me until 75 pity to get Chiori again. Pretty average RNG so far, except for the first few wishes, which were quite lucky.

83 to get Tignari'd, oof. Not winning a lot of 50/50s here, which is unfortunately the key to saving money, since you can rarely expect it to take fewer than 75 to 80 wishes to get a 5-Star. Well, I still have plenty of spare cash, so I'll keep on keeping on. It takes me 82 more wishes to get to C4, so even my soft pity luck is looking pretty rough right now.

C5 Chiori at 76! That's more like it. Coming into the final stretch here. Just one more 50/50 to pass and we're golden... except I get Diluc'd at 46 pity. Y'know what, I'll take that. At least it wasn't 80+ again.

So, in the end I get C6 Chiori in 80 more wishes, having made 768 total. A bit worse than average, but better than expected; the statistical average is 650 wishes for a C6 5-Star. But for a small sample size like mine, that's fairly unlikely. You'd actually expect a lot more in that case. All things considered, wishing for C6 Chiori and her weapon went very well, especially early on.

I am never doing this again though, lol. Chiori is the sole character to break the mold here. Of course, it's always possible that HoYo manages to create a character who appeals even more to me than Chiori, but I'm going to be much more hesitant to pull for them for a lot of reasons.

Now, I'm going to live life to the fullest with my Geo goddess. It's been fun writing about Chiori a whole bunch, but I need some time to relax and focus on other things.

Like Arlecchino. Just kidding, Arlecchino is mid.

[pankowkisses]

Silent whispers

CHAPTER FIVE (remember who I am)

𝑀𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝓃𝓏𝒾𝑒'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱

I finally manage to pull myself together to ease the anger that was coursing through my body I decide that if he didn't like me then that's fine I don't really care what he thinks I've never cared about what people think about me, I'm not gonna start now Why should I care about what an absolute stranger thinks about me when I could be , the usual bad ass bitch I am I need to remember who I am

I decide to put on my lipgloss and take my hair down I run my fingers through it to make it look a lot prettier I take a look at myself in the mirror I see that I look. Hot which makes me smile to my self as i swing the bathroom door open and walk back towards the table I sit down smiling

"Right where were we guys" I ask them looking around the table at all they're confused faces, havens smiling and rudys scowling which makes me laugh

"That's the Mackenzie stokes I know" haven says laughing as I smile at her

"So this is my sister real personality" Chase says chucking which the other apart from Rudy all laugh along with him

"Well dearest brother the is a lot more to the real me?" I smirk getting up standing in front of the table "do y'all want anything my treat" I ask them hoping I have enough money for them all if they want anything, I decide to ignore havens stares of confusion as I check my bank account as they all say there orders I see that I have 50 dollars in there which will only be enough for groceries because it's my turn to buy those

"Well actually do y'all want to go to mine and haves apartment it's just around the corner" I say shrugging as I walk towards the door

" y'all coming?" I question as they all look at me curiously while haven just shakes her head getting up ,grabbing her purse and walking to me the cast follow her and rudys just standing there staring at me

"Why can't we stay here?" He questions with a smirk

"Because I'm hungry and I've got some fruit at mine although if you wanna stay I don't mind leaving your ass here blondie" I smirk walking out the door which makes

Maddison says "Chase I absolutely love your sister" which makes me quietly laugh as I walk ahead

I walk in the apartment building just as I realise I'm taking a bunch of famous people into a small rented shared apartment which is completely nothing special, one of the said famous people is my brother I must have halted in my step when I feel someone crash into my back I look and see that it's Rudy

"Watch where your going" Rudy says looking at me In anger which just makes me smirk "don't you like walking behind me Rudy" I smirk laughing quietly at his speechless posture as I walk to the front door that havens just opened with her key

"Welcome to our mansion" I say laughing walking inside making the group laugh except Rudy who's just scowling to himself

"I see my sister has a great personality" Chase laughs 

"But not a great apartment" Rudy mumbles which makes me quickly spin round shooting daggers at him 

"Well some of us can't afford nice houses Rudy" I say annoyed at him as I walk into my kitchen I open the fridge and immediately groan all the is in there is some fruit which is expiring tomorrow and half a carton of milk I grab a banana and walk to the couch I feel everybody look at me , what I say eating the banana

"Your living like this" Chase asks gesturing around which I give him a confused look

"Yeah what's wrong with it" I reply curiously

"Nothings wrong with it but please don't hate me when I ask this" he asks I give him an annoyed look "are you okay with like being able to afford the essentials?" He asks which honestly makes me me feel so embarrassed who wouldn't feel embarrassed I'm a 23 year old who's sharing with her best friend with barely anything in the fridge "why are you asking this" I say becoming defensive "he's saying this because common we all know that your poor look around yourself" Rudy pipes up making me snap my head towards him "well excuse me I was speaking to my brother" I snap

Turning back towards Chase "what did you mean" I ask him "Mackenzie I didn't mean to offend you I just wanted to know how your living" he says softly

"Chase I mean this in the nicest way possible you don't understand what's happened in my life" I tell him in a bitchy tone

"And I won't if you don't tell me" he says while all the others are looking at us in confusion I sigh looking towards him "listen Im not some type of charity case okay and I will tell you when I want too" I say calmly knowing that the will have to be a conversation that has to be had with Chase about my past something I knew that would always happen but in reality I was always hoping to put it off completely

Knowing that was never an option I decide to just tell Chase when I'm officially ready to tell him knowing it won't be an easy conversation to Have but one that needs to happen

"Right are we all just gonna be morbid or are you gonna tell me things about you" I ask putting the banana in the trash looking at Chase who smiles as the him , the others and haven find places to sit I tell the, that I'm gonna go put my coat in my room

As soon as I am in the safety of my own room I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, I feel as if my worlds gonna come crumbling down now that Chase has seen the place I live although I didn't have much choice it's either that or him finding out I don't have much money what was I supposed to do, I collect my thoughts all together, and lock them away like I always do I push this facade up so no one sees the real me, the broken girl, the depressed girl , the traumatised girl, that's one thing I won't ever let anyone see never is have to be fully out of my sense to let anyone see that part of me.

Who knew that I'd do the exact opposite of what I thought I would do I let him see me, the real me , the broken girl , he picked up my shattered pieces and put them back in place somehow, that's how I knew I'd be okay as long as I have him...

_____________

Hiii y’all here’s chapter 5 of silent whispers which you can also check this story out on Wattpad along with my other stories my Wattpad is @pouges4life_ I’d really appreciate it 🫶🏻

[ladyseidr]

@rosanimemuses asked: ❝ munday odd numbers ❞ ( munday meme )

When did you start writing on Tumblr?

I started writing on an old, old single muse blog in October of 2018! I feel like most people have been roleplaying here a lot longer, but I roleplayed elsewhere prior to that despite being on tumblr generally since I was ~14.

3. Who are your longest rp friends?

My early earliest are @adcthamilton and @florietiae, but I also of course count you and @ahogedetective among my longest friends here too!!! I love all of y'all so much <3

5. Least favourite thing about roleplaying?

Oof, honestly it's nothing to do with other people, 99% of other people are lovely here. To be blunt, I hate how it often has to go on the backburner due to my mental health. I really don't have a least favorite outside of that.

7. NOTP for your muse?

I don't have a ton of NOTPs (outside of like, obviously gross stuff). Plus, what I consider a NOTP fandom-wise isn't always a NOTP with trusted mutuals in roleplay, if that makes sense? Like, I really dislike the fandom vibe around Shu.ichi/Kae.de and I don't generally ship it, but I'm more than happy to explore it with a trusted mutual. Same goes for, like, William/Van.essa on @spring-lxcked (tho I still won't ship Glitch and her).

9. What are some differences between you and your muse/muses?

This varies hugely between muses, but I'd say like. . . every muse I've ever written is more confident than me LMAO. Beyond that it's very, very muse specific. For example, muses like Frederick, Kok.ichi, and William are way more antagonistic than I could ever be, which is honestly fun to explore lmao.

11. Would you write with duplicate characters? How do you think your muse would react?

Generally I love writing with dupes with a different muse of mine. In fact, I personally find that writing with dupes helps ease any duplicate anxiety I might have. However, I'm usually not big on writing dupes against one another. There's exceptions to that, of course, but overall it's not something I'm usually interested in.

13. What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know?

Me when I post every headcanon the moment it pops into my mind. Honestly I can't think of any that I haven't talked about.

15. What do you look for in a rp partner?

When it comes to deciding to follow? That our writing style and rules are compatible + that they have muses I can see myself interacting with. Beyond that? Nice, shows interest in our stuff (talking in tags, showing excitement generally, liking posts, etc), and not super judgmental/negative toward others.

17. Least favourite trope?

I know I probably have something I don't like, but I can't think of anything I fully, always hate off the top of my head.

19. Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music?

Usually, yes. Either Lo-Fi or my extremely chaotic instrumental playlist. Lyrics usually throw me off lmao.

21. Are there certain characters that you gravitate towards?

I answer this the same every time but complex characters kfsdhfkshajskd. Like, the more complex their mindset / morals / actions, the more I am in love with them. I legally have to explore the complicated shit that comes with that lmao

23. Do you ever get jealous when rping? How do you handle this?

I firmly believe everybody does and anybody saying they never do is lying lmao. Honestly, I don't really do anything? I feel it, acknowledge that it's silly, and just. . . move on. It's not a constructive feeling.

[roosterbox]

Fic Rec Friday 11/3/23

Title: Another Version Of Me

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington

Characters: Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson, Nancy Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper, Erica Sinclair

Additional Tags: Genderfluid Steve Harrington, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Post-Season/Series 04, Fluff, Minor Angst, not very much, Genderfluid Character, Platonic Soulmates Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, girls night, Author is genderfluid, if this doesn't match your experience just know it matches mine

Summary: In which Steve discovers that he's genderfluid and he only has a little bit of a crisis about it.

———

Two of my favorite things in the world: Steve Harrington and gender fuckery. Any story that manages to include both is a special kind of amazing to me. And this one is no exception.

It’s beautiful. The emotions, the love, ugh. It’s palpable. And not just the Steddie side of things (more on that later). No, all of Steve’s relationships in this are great. With Robin, who’s so gentle and understanding, but not without teasing him of course. And the other girls, for a small section. His convo with Max is so sweet, makes my teeth hurt, lol. And all of his introspection, his feelings about his gender… it hurts, but in a good way? Somehow? As someone who has dealt with (still dealing with, honestly) the concept of being neither one thing nor the other, I feel that pain in my bones. And I already project onto Steve a ridiculous amount, lol. I’m glad he has such a support system while he works through this thing. It is kind of a struggle, even today, let alone for a twenty-something guy in Indiana in the 80s.

And Eddie. Oh man, Eddie. I’ve said this before, but every time Eddie is endlessly proud and supportive of a non-cisgendered Steve, I just… melt. He just loves them so much. So much it makes my heart sing. I wish every person out there who feels similar to Steve had a person in their life like Eddie. Like Robin too, let’s be real. Steve’s had a hard life, and he deserves the love and peace of his friends, his platonic soulmate, and his boyfriend. He deserves all the good things.

A truly beautiful story.

———

Next week: Narumitsu! But only incidentally. Oh sure, Miles and Phoenix are 100% together, but Phoenix isn’t in this story. In fact, outside of a text (and one or two mentions of him from Miles), he doesn’t even appear at all. No, the draw of this fic is Miles and his friendship with another character. One you might not necessarily expect, but which makes an insane amount of sense if you think about it. Who is it though? Hmmmmm.

See you next time!

[inertflouride]

The Heist Part-32

You know the drill now... For previous updates, go here! Sorry, not sorry, for what is about to unfold now.

The Following chapter is in Mark, or as they call him, Master's POV

"Master. If I may?"

I take a long drag from my cigar as Josh, my present righthand man, moves to inquire into my views about all this. I know what he's going to ask. I don't even have to listen to his question before answering.

This is the thing with humans; they all are quite predictable once you start understanding the pattern of their cognitive thinking. All except me and my upbringing, which unfortunately my brat brother has too.

"Go ahead", I sigh, holding the smoke between my two fingers.

"Are you really going to go according to their plan, sir? Because my master hasn't ever been a follower, rather the one who has made others follow him", he butters me up, while also trying to get what he wants.

I wonder why these people even bother. I mean I'm scary, agreed. I'm terrifying, agreed. I'm stupid enough to fall for their buttering act? I guess I'll cross that box.

"Hmm", I take another long drag before answering, "Why do you think I'm following someone this time?"

"Because, master, you didn't make them move according to a plan you made. Rather, you listened to their plan and agreed to it. I can swear I have never seen, your grace, doing something like this", he chimes, rubbing his hands together like a dishonest trader.

"Ok Josh. Leave that. Tell me everything you know about Miss Davis", I amusedly ask him.

He starts scrambling for this data file as soon as the words leave my mouth. It's funny seeing a 6 feet 3 inch tall guy running around like a cat following its own tail. This is why they can't be where I am.

This is why I need my brat brother by my side.

Of course, he doesn't need to know that. He can go live in rainbow tinted dreams with his little bitch for now about being like an average civilian, but deep down, he knows he can never escape his reality, which is this, beside me.

"Yes sir. I apologise for the wait. What part should I specifically focus on about Miss Davis?"

"Everything but nothing", I assert, getting amused by Josh's bewildered look. "Alright, start from the specs."

"Name- MC Davis. Age- 23. Born in Boston. Current Resident of Colorado. Marital status- Single. Cu-"

"Marital status- Single soon", I bemusedly interrupt him, snapping my fingers for scotch, which is poured in seconds by someone I don't really care about.

"Right, master. Current illnesses- none. Has 3 moles on her face, all inconspicuous. Had a scar on her right torso. A mole on her right breast-"

"Alright. That should be enough information to imagine Miss Davis in my head while fucking her", I rub my forehead, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Apologies, master", he bows, tugging the file under his arm.

"Tell me more about her present acquaintances."

"Yes master", he starts skimming through her folder. You see, I realised this one thing. Jake thinks a lot like me. Kyle too. And that I can't kill Miss davis.

So, I decided to play a little game with the three of them. One thing I know about Jake and Kyle is that trust doesn't come easily to either of them: a paranoia which I instilled in them. To the extent that they won't even trust each other with everything.

Then comes Miss Davis: the one who would drive a stake on my careful planning, encouraging them to sit and talk about things. So, I decided why not portray Miss Davis in a distrustful light. And that's where that beautiful hard disk comes. One of my guys placed a little note in her pocket which will make Miss Davis want to hide the disk from the two guys.

Why? Because the disk has how I killed Kyle's mother. And how Jake knew about it. Ever since then.

Of course, Jake doesn't actually know about it; he'd have completely lost it had he been even a remote part of anything. It is just a cute little replica of Jake doing some nasty things. Just like a cute replica of mine who would die in a plane crash, which I haven't yet decided who would be. Many people I wish to kill. Alas, I can choose only one. But, I assure you, none could match my charm. It's one of a kind.

Back to where I was. So, you see, playing with humans has been one evergreen habit of mine. I can't help but do it. You would too if you knew how to. It's actually fun trying to coil your finger around the spider web type of human relations. Fragile and Pathetic. An utter waste of time.

And once in a light year, you find a web as firm as the Darwin's Bark spider's; admittedly, they are the most fun to break too.

Just like little Jake and his bitch.

"There aren't many acquaintances of miss Davis, master. Like, the ones she had, aren't in contact with her anymore, or the other way around." I shut my eyes and hung my head back in thinking when Josh speaks up. "Except one. A lawyer. Christopher."

"And where might he be?", I speak without lifting my head or opening my eyes.

"Right under your payroll, sir."

[angelsdevils]

Time Zone: Sequel

Warning: There are some SPOILERS Note: This story will only be on my Wattpad and AO3 which are usernames Aurora_Petals. If you see anyone claiming this plot as their own let me know. I do NOT own the characters. KoFi not mandatory but donations are appreciated!

Tag List: @omakeomuomu @thisbicc @galactict3a @6-022-10-23 @bontensbabygirl @mrskasukib @artemis1862 @oikawascutie

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5| Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Final |

Reader's POV:

“So (Y/N), have you received a letter from your pen pal?” Jessica asked me and I shook my head.

“Not yet, maybe today.. hopefully. Is it normal to be nervous?”

“Of course you would be nervous, he~”

“Jessica~ I am not nervous for that reason. I am actually pretty excited, but worried he won’t wanna write me back.” 

“You are a special case, you know that?” 

“You know Jessica, this was your idea of writing people our age that is in jail. You can’t judge the things they have done. You don’t know their story.” I said, and her shoulders slumped.

“Mama (Y/N), is in her scolding mode again.”

“Well, she has a point.” 

“I am sorry, this is why you should have been president.” 

“Yeah, no. Not my style.” I flashed her a smile, and she shook her head slightly. 

“I never understand you.”

“I don’t like leading… anyway, how is volleyball?”

“Good, we miss you though…”

“Yeah, well… that injury is still affecting me. So sports is a no-go, thought about joining the drama club as well. To try and keep myself busy. It’s weird not having a crap ton of activities after school.” 

“I bet, you went from the most athletic, to being one of the geeks.”

“Hey, nothing wrong with being a geek.” I stuck my tongue out at her, and she laughed.

“Anyway, my pen pal is from here in the US. He is totally super cute.”

“Really? So you can judge my person but you fall for yours? Wait how do you know what he looks like?”

“I sent a photo of me and they allowed him to take a photo and send it to me as well.” 

“Interesting, I should have done that… maybe when I get his letter. I am curious to see what Kazutora looks like.” 

“Well, he has a cute name. Maybe you are lucky and he is cute too.”

“Come on, it’s not about who is cute, and who is not… it’s about~”

“I know, I know. But you are the type to fall for people easily too.”

“Not true, you sound like my brother. Ugh, we have to get to class.” I said, and she laughed leaving me to go to my homeroom. I rolled my eyes and went and took a seat. You opened your notebook, as you waited for the teacher to come in. 

The school day dragged, and I found myself feeling quite restless. Probably didn’t help I hardly slept last night due to upcoming exams. There were a few pop quizzes but nothing too out of the ordinary. Everyone seemed to have gotten a letter from their pen pal, except for me. But considering other people are a tad bit closer to them than mine, it was to be expected. Plus well jail typically had a strict schedule. So I can only assume that was the reason why.

Once the final bell of the day rang, I got up and collected all my stuff. I called my brother in hopes he would pick me up since it was raining.

“Yello~”

“Hey dork, can you please pick me up? It’s storming outside.” 

“Yeah, I am already here. I am gonna drop you off, then head off to work.” 

“I am on my way!” 

I hung up and waved to the teacher and my classmates before walking out of the school. I stood inside next to the doors, before spotting my bothers truck and ran to his car hiding my head with my book bag. He unlocked the door, and I hopped in and shuddered.

“Didn’t bring an umbrella?” 

“No, it wasn’t supposed to rain today,” I said and he shook his head and I fastened my seat belt.

“Anyway, I left $20 for dinner, if you didn’t want to cook. And you have mail. I placed it under the $20. I have to go straight in, after dropping you off. Probably won’t be done until late at night, so don’t wait up.”

“Mm kay, if you work too much you are going to get wrinkles, old man.” 

“Watch it, brat,” he side-eyed me and I laughed. 

“I am just saying…” 

“I will throw water on you in the morning if you don’t hush.”

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Oh, I would…” 

“Is that a challenge?” 

“Take it as you will.” 

“Alright… watch your back, you won’t win.” 

“You say that every time… but if I remember the score it’s currently 20 wins for me and 19 wins for you.” 

“That’s alright, ‘cause I will win and we will be tied,” I said and he rolled his eyes before stopping outside our house.

“Well get out, I gotta go.” 

“Alright geez, you just stopped the car,” I said getting out of the car. I rushed to the door and unlocked it and got out. I waved and he drove off, I walked in and sighed softly going to my room. I tossed my bag in the corner and dried my hair off before changing into some pajamas. I then grabbed my phone ordering (favorite food) before going to the kitchen. I grabbed the letter I received and I noticed it was the letter I have been waiting for. I quickly opened it, and read it. I couldn’t help the smile on my face though it fell a few times. I felt so bad for him, and I made it my mission to make him feel comfortable around me. 

I rushed back to my room to grab my notebook and pen before going to the kitchen again to start writing my own letter. 

Dear Kazutora,

I am from America, so I am quite away from you haha! And I know, I am barely passing my Japanese class right now. Sad I know… Also, now I am curious about your hobby! So don’t leave me hanging, I promise you can’t scare me away that easily… I literally watch serial killer documentaries before bed. Helps me sleep :P. And I guess that makes sense on the food part, heard the food isn’t too good. Maybe one day if we ever meet I can cook for you! I am a better cook than my brother, he just leaves me money to order food.

You were part of different gangs? For real? I can’t say I have been, then again, I am not much of a fighter or anything. I avoid conflict as much as possible! Even if you did some terrible things, you probably feel remorse for the things you have done. As long as you learn from your mistakes that’s all that matters. 10 years? I bet if you do good behavior they will let you out sooner, after all, you are still a minor. 

You were a great choice to write to! I am happy you returned my letter, I was worried you wouldn’t want to talk er write letters back! So I am happy that you want me to continue to write! I won’t stop unless you asked me to. You like animals too!? Any person who likes animals can’t be bad. I have some pets, I will send a photo of me with my pets! They are super cute! I also like rooftops for the same reason but I don’t like to look down and it has to have a railing or fence. If not and I look down I feel lightheaded and feel like I may fall off. 

Can’t wait to hear from you! 

Quote of the day: Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

&lt;;3  (L/N) (Y/N)

I smiled as I read through my letter before going to get (pet’s name) and taking a picture. I smiled widely and snapped the photo before kissing my pet’s cheek and snapping another photo. I printed the photos and added them to the letter before adding the address to the envelope and placing it in the mailbox. 

© [@angelsdevils] all rights reserved. none of my posts or stories should be modified, reposted, etc. I do not own the character or the fanart, but I own the plots of these stories. All fanart goes to their appropriate owners.

[fourseasonsfigs]

Wolf Warriors - Big Hands Small Hands

This is one of the more unique fig sets I have, because they are posable!

This set was inspired, of course, by the Youku "fakecast" for Word of Honor. This not-really-a-livecast was pre-recorded by Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun prior to airing on February 23, 2021. We've seen figs from this before here, and we'll see more of them in the future - this is absolutely a gold mine of fig inspiration.

You can watch this English subbed here:

And then part 2 is here:

Alright, I just lost several hours watching that again! Those two make me laugh so much. Zhehan is such a rascal, I swear!

I bought these figs from a seller on Xianyu - this was way before my direct purchasing time. These arrived in the warehouse, and all excited, I opened up the warehouse picture. And yelped!

I'll be honest, I don't know exactly what I was expecting, since I knew these figs were posable, but I didn't expect THAT. It's like my figs exploded into nice neat little bags!

If you've been reading my posts, you may or may not recall that I really don't care for disembodied figs. Too many ghost stories as an impressionable and perhaps easily freaked out kid, actually. I really, really prefer all body parts firmly where they belong!

Except...well, here we are.

And here they are! You may be able to see, both in the SuperBuy pic and in my pics, that Junjun's little chair is missing a limb too! This one, though, is by misadventure, not design. I carefully glued the chair leg back together, and it's as good as new.

Yeesh I don't care to look at these pics! This is them with the arms put into the, well, arm sockets, and before the heads go on. You can also see the little indents in the chairs for them to sit in.

And here's the bottoms-up view (literally!) before I put them in their chairs. You might notice there's some writing on the bottoms of the chairs...

I see I left some fluff on Zhehan's chair! Oops. Junjun's chair does in fact have the first "1" to reflect he was actually born in November, I just have the exact wrong angle to show it! It's there covered up by the cross bar of the chair.

The arms were very stiff for Zhehan, and too loose for Junjun. You can see how Zhehan's arms kinda don't quite fit all the way in the joint socket. Junjun's were so loose they were falling out when I turned him!

I love the name of this fig set…as you can see in the photo, it's quite literally named for the size difference in the hands between the two.

You can see Junjun's left arm kind of coming out of the socket a bit there. The heads are heavy and pretty wobbly too. A few times when I was moving the figs around for pics the head would come loose.

These figs actually balance incredibly well, considering the chairs are so light and the heads are so heavy. The figs legs kind of tuck up again the chairs, which I think helps to keep them on.

The fig maker designed Zhehan with quite the generous backside, as of course they should! In moving him around I see I kind of tilted him a bit too forward. He can actually sit back in the indentations just fine.

You can definitely tell who is who from this angle, with Zhehan's spiky hair and smaller overall body profile.

Speaking of hair, both of them had pretty short spiky hair! But we have just a few more spikes for Zhehan, and of course the different hairline.

Alright, since these can be posed, let's pose them!

Zhehan talking Junjun's ear off...

...and Junjun smiling at Zhehan, who is talking to the host!

And them looking at each other. I also put down Zhehan's right arm. You can see how it's kind of not fitting in the socket super well, and this was with both of them pushed in as much as I could.

Their little faces are really sweet, especially Junjun's with that little soft smile. I am not sure why Zhehan has the bumps at the outside bottom corners of his eyes? I don't think they're tears, unless they are tears because he was laughing so hard!

This is the fig maker's art for this set, and you can't see the eye detail here - but then again, the figs don't have cat and dog attributes either. Super cute art! I actually wouldn't have minded an alternate fig run with the cat and dog attributes, it looks great.

I didn't get a box card with this set, and the polystyrene box the figs came in was just in plain white boxes, so we'll just have to admire the cute art!

Material: Resin

Fig Count: 305

Scene Count: 23

Rating: Two big hearts!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

[krispyweiss]

Album Review: Van Morrison - Moving on Skiffle

Sometimes, Van Morrison doesn’t know when to stop.

With Moving on Skiffle, Morrison seems to have (mostly) stopped with his pandemic-era rants - “Gov Don’t Allow” excepted - to make the germ of a terrific covers album in homage to his youth. But instead of pairing things down to a cohesive set of songs with varying arrangements, Morrison lets things drag out across 95 minutes - 23 tracks in all, often with recycled arrangements. As a result, something that could’ve been a gas is instead just bloat.

Utilizing doo-wop- and barbershop-inspired backgrounds and rockabilly- and, of course, skiffle-inflected music, Morrison tackles a vast array of titles - from Elizabeth Cotten’s “Freight Train;” to such traditional numbers as “Take this Hammer” and “This Loving Light of Mine,” which he changed from Little Light; to the Carter Family’s “Worried Man Blues;” to Hank Williams’ “I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry” - and adds them to his bulging songbook.

Despite the variety in his selections, Morrison quickly begins repeating himself, setting unique sets of lyrics to nearly identical sets of music and stretching tracks much longer than they need to be by shouting, One more time! when the fadeout should begin.

Moving on Skiffle is, on the one ear, a refreshing return to form for Morrison, who seemed to be on an irreversible slide into conspiracy theorizing after a string of strong albums between 2012’s Born to Sing: No Plan B and 2019’s Three Chords & the Truth. On the other ear, it’s too much repetitiveness - growing tired about one-third of the way through and crying out for a producer who could have reined in Morrison or, at the very least, convinced him to make Skiffle a series, rather than the aural equivalent of a Facebook photo dump.

Grade card: Van Morrison - Moving on Skiffle - C

3/14/23

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Friday 7 June 1839

8 ¼

11 ½

gently rainy morning F60° inside and 57 ½° outside at 9 ¼ and went down to Robert Mann who had been near an hour ago wanting to speak to me – He came to speak to me about the burst up of water in Airgate mine – he and Joseph were afraid it was of serious consequence – they thought it was the dead water – I took this calmly saying it struck me at once that it would be best to give up the whole concern – but I would think about it and see him again after breakfast – breakfast from about 9 ¾ to 10 ½ - A- rode off to Cliff hill at 11, and I had Robert Mann (in the little breakfast room) from 11 to 1, and then sent him into the servants’ hall to dine with George who had just returned from Cliff hill with A- Had the estate plan and examined thoroughly into the circumstances of the dead water, meer-water, or Spiggs water and Robert and I clearly convinced that instead of a barrier of 60 yards (60 yards broad along the head of my coal-field lying up to the Spiggs water) the whole estate is not barrier enough – my coal is in a hole (as it were) and whenever we put down a pit, we have no better chance than at the water wheel engine pit (now for shortness to be called water pit) .:. for the same reason that the water wheel engine pit (now water pit) was abandoned, Listerwick pit and A.P. ought to be abandoned – and the farther we drive toward AP. the worse – Ended by saying I would stop where I was – and do no more mischief supposing the water met with to be really the dead water i.e. Spiggs water – to which Robert himself could make no objection but owned it would be best – for as I cannot loose my own coal without loosing that of all my neighbours, it is folly to pump for them gratis, and I will let the thing alone – the low bed coal being now got all around me in the dale to the north west, the empty space stands full of water and is the vis a tergo that pothers me – the water that burst up yesterday burst thro’ a master seam in the low bed stone, and lifted the corve up to the rood of the drift in an instant – the low bed stone lies immediately under the low (or soft) bed coal and is about 7 yards thick including the seat earth which varies in thickness – at Booth town it is 3ft. thick – but at Listerwick it is gone to nothing and the coal lies on the stone except a few inches of skegs a whitish, greyish, scaly sort of stone – this skegs pumps – and in this skegs yesterday and this morning 60 yards about from L.P. to A.P. (the whole distance = 150 yards) the water starts up – a stream as thick as a man’s arm – keeps one pump constantly going – Thomas Pearson and his brother George who had been waiting a long while then came in (about 1pm) and stood talking near an hour – Thomas came to introduce and speak for his brother who wished to take the upper Dove house (Pump, John Oates) farm – what rent? £80 – then they must give it up – they had thought of the old rent – no! I said that would not do should not let it again at £60 – there are £20 worth of cottages or easily might be – they talked

SH:7/ML/E/23/0060

and talked – I said I would not pledge myself to anything at present – should keep open for the colliery, or if I gave that up and built a worsted mill, for the mill – the tenant to be on written agreement to value on and off if he pleased – in which case, to pay of course the valuation of tenant right due to John Oates – It ended in my discovering that George P- thought of being married – wanted a place, and would in spite of the rent above named think about it if it was at liberty – I said JO. would certainly leave it – he had in fact given it up to me, and my sending him a notice to quit was a mere form – it appeared JO. had no idea of quitting unless he could get his valuation (that is what he himself thought he ought to have) – I said I had nothing to do with that – JO.’s valuer and Mr. Parker would settle that as also the matter of dilapidations – on the Pearsons’ going away about 2, sometime with A- and Mr. Horner – set them at work in the tower study – A- sketching the vale in water colours – then had DB. who said Holt measuring off, and wanted to see me and would be here in 2 hours – I had intended going to H-x to Messrs. P. and A- to tell P- to bring Mr. Stocks here tomorrow to hear what I had to say on the subject of the colliery – Perhaps we might come to some sort of terms as to the looses – I cannot let the coal as it is – nor should I under any circumstances unless (as I have always said) by ticket under conditions not binding me to take highest bidder, or in fact to let at all unless I had my price bid – waited for Holt talking to Booth about giving up the colliery and covering the pits with rag corves – then calculating the expense of building a small mill – 8 horse power = 12 worsted frames would require a 2 stories high building inside measure 14x13 yards outside measure 15x14 = 58 yards = 8 2/7 roods say 7 yards high including foundations and gable ends = about 60 roods double walling

including hewing work and everything at 35/. per rood = £105.0.0

Roofing at 42/. per square about 21 ½ squares = 45.3.0

Floor 16 ½ square at £3 = 49.10.0

Flagging ground floor, doors, windows, plastering, painting, sundries say = 50.0.0

Shafting = 50.0.0

299.13.0

a £300 job at least – power letting in the country at £18 per frame – I could not get more £10 or less= per frame the tenant having to find coal and fireman – I could not get a good permanent who would pay more than £10 a year – not worth my while –

Gave up the mill scheme – talked of Mr. Moores’ new mill to be built at Godley – 400 yards at 10/. bought of Mr. Carr – 12 horse power engine – Mr. Moore might buy my engine if 8 horse power would suit him – at this time came Mr. Barber junior to ask A-‘s leave and mine to shoot this year at last – yes! certainly – then at the moment confounding him in my mind with Mr. Moore alluded to the mill – this led to talk about mills and engines – Everbody building mills – there will be plenty of power to let by and by – said I should be glad to sell my water wheel, and steam engine too if I had not less pother about it – It was about 6pm. before Holt came – had the coal plans and a thorough talk over about the colliery and burst up of water – H- said it was impossible that the water should be the dead water – as positive about it as he was at first, about the water at the water wheel EP. (water pit) – but could give no reason for his opinion – all he could say was, it was impossible – consulted him about the coal to be got under level – how far would he have the water level driven – why not up to the upper brea boundary? – he would not do this on any account – for fear of loosing upper brea and Stocks and for fear of the dead water – the old work water from my uncle Josephs’ level begun in the upper bed at Mitham and the level spent by getting into the middle band stone [about] at Tilley holme stile – (it was this water, as we found on measuring its decease at the mitham engine pit, that beset us at the water wheel E.P.) – he would not cross the Leeds and Whitehall lower brea road on any account – and thought of getting the coal on the other side of the road up at Lower brea Daisy bank pit! – what said I and set up new gin and a new concern, and with the turnpike staring you in the face – oh! he had forgot the turnpike – if we do not go too near upper brea boundary and steal so as to leave them on the hollow, we can do no harm they being on the dib side – and will not the old works water be as bad for Lower brea pit as for any other? – H- got confused – he made it out, that Stocks and Wilson were bound to cut thro’ the throw that runs from Quarry house down to somewhere near Belvidere and then they must of necessity ease me of water – the fact is, I can never make much of Holt – I said he was not to have the farm unless he took the colliery – and that he was to plan and measure for us but that DB. would send for him when he was wanted – B. and he staid till 7 50/.. dinner at 8 – A- and I out at 8 ¾ for ¾ hour – walked in the Lodge road up and down – coffee on coming in at 9 ½ and came upstairs at 10 ¼ at which hour F60° inside and 58° outside – soft (mild) damp partly rainy morning fair in the afternoon and finish evening -

[ideal-girl]

Rhe Links are like this because I accidentally deleted this several times over and I got tired of linking them correctly. 

Now about the topics of retributive and restorative Justice. Well more like, more EXACTLY rambling.

On the original (I guess the now private) post, I believe you mentioned your disdain for someone suggesting that Israel should face restorative Justice instead of retributive Justice. Instead of leaving the response there, I decided to make a separate one because that post was too long and I’m mixed about retributive Justice in by itself and I rather Israel not be the focus on this post.

Now I think I can get why “Retributive Justice” is a favored concept. I mean for the past years there’s been a surge of politicians who’s trying to make life a living hell for LGBT people; such as forbidding talk in school about sexual orientation, trying to ban drag shows, even trying to get To Kill a Mockingbird banned from libraries, and making stupid “educational videos” where they basically say “Slavery wasn’t a terrible thing kids!” So of course it would be hugely entertaining so watch those kind of people get their just desserts.

The problem is that “retributive Justice” can very easily be a pipeline into some either misaimed, toxic, or even wicked beliefs. For starters well basically it’s punishment. And punishment can in many instances, be equivalent to suffering. And it’s believed in society that suffering is a good thing, that one could only be greater better through suffering, that it teaches one how to be a good person. Which is not always true.

I’ve seen this already with fictional characters, as more than a handful of people believe that Catra and Azula, both victims of abuse since childhood, should have suffered more than they already had by their respective series, despite the fact that Catra’s whole arc was that she kept putting herself in a cycle of self-punishment and suffering due to her bad actions and the latter gets locked up in a mental institution by the end. Not to mention wishing they could have suffered more contradicts some of the themes in those shows. I’ve seen a “funny” RWBY fan skit where the villain Adam Taurus gets one of his eyes branded using the logo of a mining factory company in what was supposed to be a “badass” moment. The same mining company which forced him to slavery since childhood and already branded one of his eyes, which is implied to be a strong reason why he ended up a terrible person.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/jkzgxe/some_thoughts_on_catras_redemption_for_the_all/

It’s something that affects real life. There’s this weird incident that’s not really about punishment but it is about suffering sorta. Sydney Sweeney recounted working a brief stint as a tour guide for that tram ride in Universal Studios Hollywood to make ends meet for her struggling family as they were poor and some weird entitled Tiktoker tried to claim she was lying because apparently becoming a Universal tour guide was this “notoriously difficult” position that “not everybody could get into”, and apparently a bandwagon of people hopped up trying to say that she actually had a cushy life as if struggling and suffering is the key to being a good person.

ever heard of Jasmine Richardson? She’s a Canadian killer who murdered her own parents and younger brother along with a boyfriend accomplice. She was incarcerated for 10 years, and then afterward once she served her time, the legal system cleared her criminal history and she walks free now. By all means, this sounds like a real life pure evil character and a misjudgment… except if you know that Jasmine was 12 years old when she did this. And the boyfriend character was a 23 year old man. Medical professionals confirmed that she did appear to be truly rehabilitated upon her release. The comments don’t care, they say that this person who was a manipulated child groomed by a older man is a utter monster who does not deserve a chance and should instead be locked up for life in prison or at least publicly shamed.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2hfMn2maU8o&pp=ygUSSmFzbWluZSByaWNoYXJkc29u

Speaking of prisons actually, have you ever heard about the prison system in Norway? Originally they built prisons similar to that of the US however due to the fact that prisoners released kept recommitting crimes two years of their release Norway decided to take a new approach. They focused on “Restorative Justice”, treating their prisoners (even the crueler ones) like ordinary people with more humane conditions to make it so they can reintegrate into society easier, some have even got a better chance of getting employed afterwards. It seems to be working pretty well for them, as their recidivism rate is one of the lowest in the world. Compare that to the more “retributive” US prison system where often prisoners are treated subhuman and it’s nigh impossible for anyone to hire them afterwards, and of course the high recidivism. And the US may not be the worst in that regards! What do you think about the Norway prison system?

https://ultranos.tumblr.com/post/645435392662929408/sits-down-and-brews-chrysanthemum-tea-atla

Here’s a choice quote from this blog post that got me thinking: “This has told me that the very basis of the US justice system is flawed. That people are focused on the “retribution” part of retributive justice, they’re focused on vengeance. Not mercy. Not the humanity of the victim and perpetrator.”

Another post I’ve recently found that got me thinking is this which points out that the thing is, people like Qanon, racists, anti-abortionists, corrupt governments like America, Israel and North Korea do believe that they are the good guys and that their acts of violence or whatever are their form of Justice. Sure those are more obviously evil motives, but the fact is those still function on the same motive on “retribution” which can turn into a pipeline to more reckless thoughts.

(I was toying with the idea of doing a Mandy story with this theme; but the problem is that it would be a big Author tract and I usually design the stories to be open to interpretation so I don’t know if I should send it)

There’s this great story of the George Perez Wonder Woman comic series that dealt with this matter, better than a mediocre episode of Justice League which tried to deal with a similar theme. The story was that there was this island much like Themyscira, except that its inhabitants came to be through a violent revolution where most of the men died. Despite banning men from coming to the island, the argonaut Jason and his crew came into the island, seducing the women which resulted in many offspring. However Jason and the crew abandoned them, and the islanders took ”justice” by slaughtering all the remaining men (mostly infants) including the Queen’s own father and son and banishing her and her daughter. In the end, it was revealed that because it was a ”paradise” brought by prejudice and violence, and with no one left to fight now that all the men were dead, the women turned their anger towards and slaughtered each other, the society collapsed. Maybe you can use it as an allegory for something in real life, IDK. But the Themyscira shown in that same series as ruled by Hippolyta and Diana did not suffer from this problem as they chose a more peaceful approach (in fact, any instances of writers portraying a more flawed version of Wonder Woman’s homeworld usually go use Amazon stereotypes, and those tend to be poorly written)

https://unbidden-yidden.tumblr.com/post/733640314679689216/there-are-two-related-things-ive-noticed-coming

[talesofateenagedramaqueen]

feb. 23, 2024

okay I had to ask for the date, that's the only reason it's accurate this time. "oh, why don't you just look at your phone?" because I never think to. maybe its weaponized incompetence idk, but I'm not a 30 man baby married to a woman who might as well be his mommy so is that a legitimate worry to have? I'm a shitty writer but no one is reading this except me. Dammit, why do I have a perfectionist streak if I can't even make it work for me.

my neuroses have neuroses.

it's never going to be my year. sometimes I don't think I can even make something my day. maybe I just gotta....live in the moment. damn cliches, most of them wind up being true. it's so cheesy! but the time of person I am, I'm going to worry about something and then become so worried that I my fight or flight instinct comes in (which is so totally unfair because my trauma is like, as mundane as it can get, and I don't mean that in a self depreciative sort of way, it's very true) and I either choose flight or freeze. the only people I fight with are usually people who don't even deserve it.

I'm a little lost puppy and I feel older in a jaded way but I also feel younger than my peers. but most of my peers aren't even living lives that I feel jealous of so WHY DO I CARE. I care abbot things that don't matter and then that leaves no space for things that actually do.

I need to move out and start over. get away from living with my parents in this same old town, because I feel so much better when I'm away from it all.

though, it doesn't count...if I'm with my family... it's not entirely their fault but dammit, its not entirely mine either. I'm not a bad person I'm just also not a very good one. to quote my own mother, "I suck at life." to quote myself, I'm just "a bit unfortunate."

I need to stop explaining myself to people. and myself. I actually have no clue why I do it in the first place. maybe the insatiable need to be liked? I am a Leo after all. but I'm also unique and hyper independent. do I be myself all the time? kind of. we should all strive to be ourselves, but a better version. what does the better version of myself look like?

hah, look at me, using a Tumblr blog as a journal, trying to be "cool" instead of "edgy and unique". I'm holding too tightly to the past but I don't NEED to let it go. just, allow more space for the present and future.

okay, here comes the really fun part: the venting. love this for me, I'm letting the anger flow in and then flow out again. I'm a fire sign, and more importantly, I'm a miller. the anger comes in quick bursts of flames and then dies down. I don't want to be the type of person to hold onto grudges and bottle everything up. there has to be an appropriate outlet for it. well, journaling of course. maybe angry music? do I write it myself? sing it out loud? I guess all of the above works.

(btw, what's the word limit on this? I've been going on for like, a while. if it cuts me off I'll be so upset. and then ill remember that I refuse to read this back anyways so its like, actually not a big deal. how do I validate other people's emotions when they like, trigger me? man, maybe I just have to step away from the moderator role. seriously, when has it done me any good? I value loyalty more, but I also value kindness. ugh, everything requires balance and my whole being like, physically and spiritually rejects it.)

like sorry g but I'm not a shit talker and its unfair that u expect me to be. it's unfair of me to invalidate ur feelings, but does that count for every time? u take it as me being holier than thou and invalidating but not every person u shit talk has actually wronged you. tho, I suppose its on me to know the difference and respond accordingly. I refuse to feel guilty anymore, living in the moment you know? next time I'll take a minute and think. I may not be good at it at first but I'll make a effort and that has to be enough bc its all I have to give.

and why was last night so awkward! I guess she gave me the same energy I give her but she's the one with that problem! I don't care that she was more subdued but apparently she hates it when its her which means...she hates it when I do it. but I don't mind either way! like sorry, but my depression isn't about you and your depression isn't about me. I at least realize that. and god fucking dammit but I wish everyone would realize that I'm sad and I'm fucking trying, I try so hard every day. living as I am is the most uncomfortable feeling. like a constant headache, or persistent nausea. you know when you're having a really bad day? well every god damn day is a bad day for me. I don't get good ones, only good moments and then the rest suck. "your mental illness is your own problem to deal with" yeah and I don't make it anyone else's problem except my own! and my parents... but come the fuck on, no I don't want to go to the bars. I don't want to do anything, you're so right, its bc I'm SAD!!!! depression makes you a buzzkill, who would have thought. be grateful I'm still kicking, bc if I had the capacity to Kermit I would have ages ago! I wish I had to guts to sometimes. I don't, probably never will, and its kind of fucked up that if I were sadder part of me would feel better. what if I just gave up entirely? I'm capable of giving up even more, I assure you.

ugh, this is mentally exhausting. I think that's enough for one day.

peace out <3

[libidomechanica]

I was some huge

A limerick sequence

               1

A dead, looking on the like Orpheus, from every joy. I was some huge    and them as if such    important visits hearer air weary all the be fifty wreaths.

               2

—A Child free or their budding? How very sound her heavy body mind; thy    deemed to speak me do I    dream; their shade went that one and when to the Soul instant leper.

               3

The silk-pillow except the increased. With the dust casually; if I have    to whom the lattering    in scrolls an undoes its play; he thirst. All earthly realm I take.

               4

With Gold and Ruby Girdle his fine Waist. Since beyond aught in these, found    jubilance from ruined in    old Man say I hearts of tree brimm’d in that needs within young mass.

               5

Do! Al redy, sire, quod he, and that has borne a son hae a heart had    one, to that Urne. The Crowne,    and death take thought that I knew the kind the lovely leave to do.

               6

They whole throw much are sweet I feel the pursued by nightly leave take it seem    tame. Dear of the boy’s present    that enchant-ship, or a gold. There are she same gaudy flown?

               7

She slothful times he sameness steps. And the real rain, so vertical it fuses    with silence of the    Poet’s soul, and Queen of light; yet, if ther we nat God displese.

               8

Them scarce knew; both to run likewise throne. But wise Oxenstiern. Some smarts, glad I    be goner? A teeming    water little boy upturn’d Love they talking him anymore.

               9

And I met, which sleeping. More the boat anyhow listence, nor an Indigestion,    cruel; for have the    coursing that sweet my door. And where? Thought would spot, no loved henchman!

               10

Just close merely forsaken up thered, looks when always might now the rose    Aylmer, or breaths. In all    too kind; the streams to myself more freshness! Rents’ simple in shade.

               11

My who are making so fame. His epic satiety with growing brow. Men.    Said, our sleep in that sad?    Grace might years, and that loue deepers, and strength my pregnant leper.

               12

And swell, be it were thing, marble shady bent it want to the nest. I mourn    for their turn out of her    the airy texture complace. Along by such fain hardly souls!

               13

Past hope next to point of this body rocking! On throng at little glisten’d    on the morning. Beneath    her, and her—she could never bled, lo! For it have spread to thee.

               14

And and again I turns, so calculators where must but true deem tame. But    when, hailed by the sang loudly    all they for plough ill spired. I saw something shutterly.

               15

Ere of unions he sands of Nineveh, may God’s glade of Things with chearful    army. All it seem’d a    petty well, started the blossom, to her yet a think the ground.

               16

How cheek when my heard, breast. She steps, with Nature to treat, yet it knew not keep    that some perfumed into    the large, a tale, these was her e’re. And lawless yclept in Vain!

               17

And bear to hunt history of years a rebuke! But still sag toward … this heir—and    Lip for the told, what close,    bound suppose I’ll not my heart. Tis not once a punk; proud fleece mad.

               18

The course, my Mine on me that dead; without to makes or error intend, the    Phrygian kind; I have    gold? An Ocean boy whenceforward there their head of hue, st.

               19

Their everythings of fearfulness, priest didn’t loved the gilding in my verdure    foresaw. Half in mine had    been a foolish godship, O Moon, and woman love is lost live.

               20

Has poured, fast food is fill’d at such a vile perfection, but too entail’d? Had    and keeps into you are    voice. Broken all bathe age, long the winked, seemed not stated in brass.

               21

This in the death is flew from a bell. Standing puzzle? And tears—was desk mere    she spect: their literally    ever-nearing bottom off herself to admired, and round.

               22

Just now Passing, ev’ry grant thou in midnight connects name. From the weak and    what interfered. Where is    budding to be left to double; she was t’other, these our eyes.

               23

Just not like Jewels polite that to fade for after; but confesse; tis but work.    Or heroes as he, came    is Shame, they could almost friend of the Rhine; some laid aside; there.

               24

And pleasure never song of the linger friends fled, but dirty. We’re against    my handless must in the    Book on a harvest. And sanguish was black-eyed embranche cable.

               25

Other, night; tis not because thinking- glass; no ridge his large, loving duct had    sees her solitary    infant it throught. Horse as many shade. The tidings beloved.

               26

As she told the other open eye is present foamy way. And feast way    the left. Pillows shone in    huge vessels lace. I reconciling westerfields, shy to rove!

               27

Beside; furthens, politician trample, but silver calves, and so no    easier embryos into    a foolish. Of passed, upon here made the day, and tossing.

               28

—This Phillis, only which he spots determine, a state world rush’d Clarinda    knew the combine, empty    sparkling stood and enterest you make a brief and others.

               29

By faintly with tended with the air. It was besidents I doubtle say,    Remember door. Kind to    do or henchman, where With the brights thro’; but ‘Damme’s’- the Throne.

               30

Studded dames for I have been a certain to me run, without ask the SATs,    down in her lane, and him.    A spare your pass, fine appear unveil and look so bonfires.

               31

With to lifted; strain in the elm-tree bring what avails that mostly. Sharp Eye    but now we’re all to tell    hint or maladies’ lucubration awaits fire ground support.

               32

Why repose, and never traps forgot. Mean. Likeness, but oh fie on’t! Scarcely    girl, who, seeing without    a flows away, a happy, for behind to her said the push.

               33

Be wish yours; o the deeper? Reconciled the lattering after an Instant    to under a rain,    in like sympathy: twere not Corydon, hailed his clumsy Will!

               34

More soft is a fame on a worse emotion: interlace. Love hearts of death    than I kiddy upon    the door, and sleeps the tell meanwhile which a grey; I fell beat dead?

               35

Now blithe patricacies. Sets ferment, and now I said—indeed; but just painted    the phrase, when idle    look down in life their short were pass erection, and blood and thee.

               36

To changed, and at lead in thy stone, no azure’s tongue: at the moonlight wreathed    him kiss here is a    certain of such when in all love all profitable, do not.

               37

With murderous I leave one all it doth politeness it—and grass, and rumour    and you’ll round! Know very    vulgarit—’ which sublime to huntsman’s she rub—and brough then!

               38

To tell mimicking throught suffering, slowly child-bed. Them pitiles, her weathe    air, and in sleep without    love made a widow. Less rush on young, receipt with thee power?

               39

Generations of there—I do not even seem’d the charmer sun. The Fourthly    parties neck. But what    she wind. Of each the happy when sneer’d; and alone to describe.

               40

Especially ponder that’s o’er them clouts that particle’s easier to    Rome’s a finer moonlights    conspicuous past twig. Till God on the shy Thamis, Hail!

               41

Yet still enchant-ship, but I trust befalls me hid. Scarcely pale Virgin’s minute    slowly from a belt    only a melt into thy parting the Cupid girl with first.

[whywhywhymoney]

when the Future Colours ED dropped.... you just had to be there man...

As a 23 year old, there's plenty of stuff I missed out on when it came to fandoms, mostly because of my lack of interest in most of the popular anime at the time, but I was always on the periphery and got to know *some* of what went down. For yugioh 5ds though? Front and centre man. Front and centre. And maybe that's why I find it so bittersweet just to even think about 5ds because it takes me to such a specific moment in time that I'll never get back.

Like, as 5-6 year olds my cohort just about caught onto the original Yugioh cycle, and of course we all hated GX as the cultured 8 year olds we were (I love it guys, I always did) but 5ds was different. It came out at the time my year was at the older end of the school, and it grabbed me immediately because of how serious it felt, which is the one thing at that age that I disliked about GX. All of a sudden we all brought out our old decks, dark magician, Blue Eyes, E hero beatdown and we were all influencing each other to absolutely get on these hot new cards because synchros are COOL. The permanent rainy British weather didn't stop us from dueling with our paper mats and unsleeved cards, and we had to go behind the staff room to make dodgy trades lest our cards get confiscated.

And then CITV *really* hit the Dark Signers arc and didn't air new episodes for years. Just to put it in perspective, I was in Year 5 when 5ds started airing here. Season 3 started airing in 2012, when I was 2 years removed from primary school. What's a girl to do? Go online of course! Most of us were already sharing around our favourite websites to watch naruto because the UK edits were trash tier, and of course, 5ds was there too. And then the 4kids forums had whole threads dedicated to the merits of the different fansubbers.

Once I left primary school and had nobody to talk to about yugioh except my little brother, 5ds fanfiction became my bread and butter, and I can't tell you how funny it is when I remember the trend of "Yusei and Aki have a child but the other is raising them alone/doesn't know about her". But I was invested! And God, when the Future Colours ED dropped, it gave the writers material for DAYS.

Now, I'm older, it's been over 11 years since 5ds ended, and I especially consider the ending to be even more poignant because of where I am in life, I'm on the cusp of true adulthood, finding jobs and settling down and whatnot. Good friends of mine that I've known since I was 4, and from 4 years ago, are getting married or having kids. I have a wonderful group of friends, who we all met during a sports event and made a gc, and since meeting them, I feel like I understand better than ever the power of bonds 5ds tried to show. It's such a valuable thing! It's because of those guys that I even bothered to write my first fanfiction, which was based entirely off of a real event that happened.

When I think of the hilarity we've had over the past 4 ish years of knowing each other, and the deep conversations as well as the heart breaking ones, it's so super silly, but it makes me think of Team 5ds and their dynamic. And just like how they went their separate ways, we're all kinda splintering off too. It really makes me sad, but, I'm so grateful for being able to experience this wonderful companionship in the first place. And the thing is: We're never really gonna get rid of each other completely, because the love of sport that united us in the first always brings us back to each other, even if it's just for a few weeks over the course of a tournament.

So, hopefully, when I write more 5ds fanfic, I just want it to be known that it's dedicated to my real Team 5ds, and I'm so lucky that I got to have an anime plot unfold in my real life, which is what that 8 year old girl dreamed of back then! And here I am not even realising that I was living her dream.

BTW, I'll just drop the link to the one thing I have written for this silly funny beautiful crew, who remind me so much of my own silly funny beautiful crew. Maybe in another 11 years I can look back on these fics and remember the pure joyful time I had with them. https://archiveofourown.org/works/35254714

Of course, one thing you gotta know though is that they can NEVER know its me because if they found out how sappy I got I'll never hear the end of it 🤣