#<- typed all those out individually. FOR LOVE 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[karmaphone]

there's like a bunch of mutuals on here that I never really talk to much outside of 'op's a terf' 'x dono post is a scam' BUT I see them in my notes all the time and thus have a large attachment to so I just wanted to say ily and I'm sending festive holiday thoughts 2 u (in whichever form is applicable I mean) and I hope u have a good rest of the year + beyond

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Is it a Dark Day? - Cole Caufield

Word Count - 1.9k

Summary - For the first time since you started dating Cole, your depression seems to be coming back to kick you in the ass. Scared of how Cole will react, you do the only logical thing and pull away.

Warnings - depression, the effects of depression, executive functioning issues, but ends in fluff.

Authors Note: This the first part of a series I plan on writing where I take one mental health issue or any type of disorder and pick a player to write about how they would react if their significant other had it. If you have any ideas for future ones or future players please send me an ask. As always thank you for reading and sorry for not posting much lately. 💜

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

Sometimes your brain likes to remind you that you were in fact not a normal happy person. It was an act that you’ve learned to master over the years, sometimes you're such a good actor you even fool yourself. Until your brain reminds you that you are in fact an actor. Someone who plays a part, and it will happen in a flash. Feeling as if you're having a good day, and then suddenly you hear a song that reminds you of something and you start to feel that exhausted and craving your bed. Or you will be out with friends and they remind you of something they find funny but it only reminds you of how much you were struggling at the time. Although the worst one was when you don’t even know the trigger, you could have been having a great time and then suddenly you will be on your couch for the next three days rotting away. 

The worst part was this time, it’s almost like you felt the signs but ignored it. It started with the fact that it had been a stressful week at work, then you felt tired all the time, you found yourself being late to work simply because you couldn’t get yourself out of bed. Sadly, you were used to this popping up every once in while, knowing it was inevitable to get this all too familiar sadly almost welcoming feeling in your head. It’s like you had a brain fog come over and no matter what you did you couldn’t shake the feeling. But this time was different from all the others, this time you were dating the actual definition of a very hyper individual who always had some joke to say or a smile on his face. Cole was quickly becoming one of your favorite human beings but you didn’t want him to see you like this where you haven’t even taken a shower in 2 days. Cole was one of those people that radiated sunshine and it made you sink further into your couch thinking about how he would react to you right now. Again, your brain makes you think that he would judge you like others have for when your brain made you hate yourself. Thankfully, Cole was on a roadie so what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

Knowing that you should probably answer Cole’s messages or answer one of his many facetime calls but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. Somehow during the last couple days, your mind seemed to alter your perception of time. Thinking that Cole would still be on his roadie for at least another day. But suddenly you heard banging on your apartment door. 

“Baby?! Open the door please.” Cole pleaded on the other side of the door. Hearing his voice shocked you to your core, part of you wanted to open the door and tackle him. Allowing yourself to feel his comforting warmth hoping that some of it would make you feel even a tiny bit better. The rest of you were screaming to pull yourself more into the hoodie that you were wearing, pulling the blankets higher up to hide your body from the world. Letting your emotions overtake you when you realized you were wearing Cole’s hoodie because you wanted him more than anything 3 days ago when you started your couch rotting. It’s funny how time can change things, because nothing could get you up now and walk 30 feet to go open your apartment door. 

Cole’s pleas and banging didn’t stop, “baby please! Tell me what I did.” he begged through the door. “y/n?” he said much softer than before, you could barely hear it from where you were hiding in your living room. “Please open up or I’m gonna use my key you gave me for emergencies.” The tears that were lightly streaming down your face now full on ugly crying. Of course that was the moment Cole decided to enter your apartment. 

Hearing the door shut behind him as he entered your apartment. “Love where are you?” he asked, before he noticed what appeared to be the shape of your body on the coach. Once Cole did notice you, it was like he was on his knees in front of the sectional in seconds, even though he was on the other side of the apartment. “Mamas you awake, my love?” he asked gently as you felt him taking his palm and rub comforting circles all down your side. As your body registered his voice and processed words and touched your silent sobs became very much more real and loud. 

“Hey shhh babygirl whats wrong?” he asked as his other hand not rubbing circles now your back went to grab the edge of the blanket. In a quiet voice Cole spoke his next words very carefully.  “Honey, baby I'm gonna remove the blanket okay.” 

His voice was telling you that he wasn’t asking but you didn’t care as you started to protest. “No no don’t” your voice started to crack “no I don’t want you to.” As you grabbed the blanket to keep it from moving. 

“Why not?” you could tell in his voice that he was feeling hurt. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this.” softly you admit not sure if your confession was more of admitting to Cole you didn’t want him to see you or confirming what your body was telling you earlier. 

His voice barely over a whisper “what? Did I hurt you? Baby you haven’t answered a single one of my texts in 2 days, I spent most of today trying to not panic as I called your phone. Please baby let me see if you're okay?” Hearing his voice on the last few words and how he seemed to be fighting his own emotions. Feeling as if your own heart broke at that moment, the last thing you wanted to do was bring Cole down with you. 

“You're gonna judge me.” you mumble, most of you knows that your thoughts are irrational but the part of your brain that’s calling the shots at the moment truly believes. 

“Never.” his voice stern. With that yoo you couldn’t help but let out a little okay. Within seconds you could feel Cole slowly pulling back the safety of your blankets. Only pulling them down enough to see your face. “Hi beautiful.” he grins at you, the relief clear not only in his voice but his face as his eyes are finally able to see you after being radio silent for 2 days. 

He moves your head so that you're looking up at him as he asks you “please tell me what’s wrong.” He moves his hands so that they are able to wipe some of the tears off your face. 

“I don’t know.” your voice squeaking. Finally letting your eyes focus on him, you see his face is full of nothing but worry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-” 

“You’re okay. I’m not mad, baby… I just- I want to know what’s going on in your head.” he admits, and your stomach drops at his confession. Loving Cole was one of your favorite things in your entire life, but Cole was different, he had this way of always being happy. How could someone who you have never even seen to have a frown on his face understand that your brain sometimes fights itself. Leaving you feeling as if even doing the most basic mundane task is out of reach and you don’t even know why. 

Cole has never seen you struggle with your depression and it’s a lot. On top of his busy schedule due to being in the middle of the season, trying to move up from third line or second. Somehow your brain has convinced you all in a matter of minutes that Cole doesn’t have time to sit back and watch you fight your battles. You didn’t even realize that you were lost in thought until you heard Cole’s voice again. 

“Baby” his voice is soft but loud enough for your brain to register that someone was speaking to you. 

“I- I- sometimes I just - my brain it's like it.” Struggling to say what you want to say, finding the words to describe how much you truly feel like death at the moment. 

“Is it a dark day?” he asks gently. You look at him in shock, “it’s okay to have a bad day every once in a while honey. Just please don’t push me away.” softly bending down and kissing your forehead, your body automatically chasing his lips as they leave your forehead. 

“What if it’s more than a day?” you ask.

“Then I’ll be here please just let me love you.” he asks.

“Okay.” feeling yourself caving, allowing Cole to help you, it's almost like your body felt just a sliver of lightness for the first time in days, knowing that Cole felt the same way with the smile he had on his face. 

He moved his hands so they were under your arms gently lifting you so he could lay comfortably with you on the coach. “Okay we can lay here for a little longer, then I’m gonna help you shower and get some clean sweats on alright?” 

All you can do is nod, feeling overwhelmed with the love that Cole is showing you. Cole stayed true to his words after a few minutes he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. Balancing on the balls of his feet in front of you on the toilet seat, his hands resting in yours on your thighs.He already turned on the water to warm up “Do you want me to stay or are you gonna shower by yourself.” 

“Don’t leave.” the phrase rushing out of you, feeling scared if you didn’t get it out fast enough Cole would leave you again with nothing left but your thoughts to keep you company.

“I won’t until you tell me. We can shower together it’s okay” Finally making eye contact with him again, a giant pout on your lips looking as if you were gonna cry again. He took one of his hands that was resting with yours and took it to your face. “Hey hey you're alright. I promise. This will pass.” Finally moving his lips to yours for the first time since he came over, it was full of nothing less than the love he felt for you. He poured every single emotion into that kiss, it made you feel loved, safe, adored, cared for. Finally pulling apart you whisper a small ‘thanks.’ “Let’s get you cleaned up baby.” As he helps you undress and then quickly shedding his own clothes before helping you in the shower. He helped you wash your body and your hair, giving you little wet kisses all over your body, whispering reassuring words between the kisses. He wasn’t trying to start anything, he just wanted to show you how much he loved you when you couldn’t find anything to love about yourself. 

Cole stayed with you that night, actually his only entire weekend off. He had to go to morning skate that Monday morning since it wasn’t optional. But from that weekend on you never felt closer to Cole. He was your light even on your darkest days, and he helped you find yourself every time you felt your depression pulling you away. Every time he noticed you randomly ghosted him. Or seemed distant in your eyes like your mind was somewhere else, he would always ask you one simple question “is today a dark day?” so that he always knew how to care for his girl.

[thetarotwitch111]

How people are perceiving you right now? - Pick a card purple pokemon

Since i absolutely love pokemon I picked three purple ones, and just like choosing your starter, you’ll pick one to uncover how people are seeing you right now. So grab your Poké Balls, dust off that old Game Boy, and let’s see what your chosen Pokémon reveals about you.

✨I hope this reading brings you some clarity and guidance. If it resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it!

✨ And if you’re looking for something more personal, I also do individual readings—just DM me anytime or check my ko-fi

🌟TIP JAR🌟

Breathe, clean your thoughts and ask your guides and the Universe lead you to the message that’s meant for you.

Let’s get into your reading!

💜 1. Gengar

They’re noticing this big shift in you. You’re really starting to let go of things that used to hold you down, and that’s pretty powerful. It’s almost like you’ve decided, “I don’t need to control everything,” and that’s making you come across as way more open and chill. People can see that you’re getting better at going with the flow, even if it’s a little scary sometimes. But they also see that you’re super careful with your decisions. You’re not the type to just jump into something without thinking it through. You’re weighing all your options, and while that might make you seem a little stuck, it’s really just you being smart about where you’re headed next. And sure, they might pick up on the fact that you’re dealing with some tough stuff (maybe some temptations or situations that feel a bit restrictive). But what they really admire is how you’re not letting that stop you. You’re determined to break free from anything that doesn’t feel right, and that’s pretty inspiring.

The good things they see in you:

First off, they totally admire your resilience. You’ve been through some rough times, but you always manage to come out the other side even stronger. It’s like no matter what life throws at you, you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving. And people really notice that strength in you.

They also love your independence and this amazing ability to make choices that are totally in line with who you are. Even if that means you’re taking a path that others don’t quite get, they respect that you’re doing what feels right for you. You might seem a little cautious in relationships, but that’s just because you’re making sure everything aligns with your true self. People really respect that about you.

Witch’s advice:

You’re in this awesome phase of letting go and embracing change, so let’s boost that energy with some crystals. Grab a smoky quartz, cause it’s perfect for helping you release anything that’s no longer serving you. Think of it as a little nudge from the universe to let go of the old and welcome the new. And then there’s labradorite, which is all about transformation.

For herbs, sage is your best friend right now. It’s amazing for clearing out any negative or stuck energy around you. Pair it with lavender, which is super calming and will help you feel more at peace, especially when things get a little overwhelming.

And because we all need a bit of comfort, let’s talk tea. A blend of peppermint and chamomile is just what you need. The peppermint will help you think clearly and its perfect for those moments when you’re at a crossroads. And the chamomile will calm your nerves and help you relax about the future. If you want an extra boost, add a little lemon balm to the mix. It’s uplifting and will keep your spirits high as you move forward.

💜 2. Koffing

People see you as someone who’s really starting to break free from some heavy stuff. It’s like they’ve noticed you’ve been through a period where you felt really stuck, maybe even a little trapped, but now they can see you stepping out of that and finding your strength. It’s as if you’ve taken off the blindfold and are beginning to see all the possibilities that are out there for you. There’s a sense of admiration for how you’re learning to navigate through challenges, taking control of your life, and not letting fear or doubt hold you back anymore.

However, there’s also an understanding that you’re still working through some deeper, more personal struggles. People can sense that you’re dealing with things that might still have a hold on you, like old habits or negative thoughts that are tough to shake. But they don’t see this as a weakness; instead, they recognize the strength it takes to confront these inner battles. They know you’re doing your best to overcome them, and they respect the fight you’re putting up to not let those things control you.

At the same time, others notice that you’re someone who avoids unnecessary drama. You’re not one to dive into conflicts or get caught up in petty disputes. Instead, you’re focused on keeping the peace and finding solutions that work for everyone involved. People see you as someone who values harmony and is willing to go the extra mile to make sure things stay calm and balanced, even when it’s not easy. This makes you someone they can rely on to bring a sense of calm and reason into tense situations.

The good things they see in you:

One of the biggest things is your ability to move on from tough situations. They see you as someone who doesn’t let past disappointments or mistakes define you. Instead, you focus on what’s still possible and what you can still achieve. You don’t get down for the negative, but instead, you find a way to keep moving forward, and that’s something people really appreciate.

People also admire how you’re starting to open up more. Maybe you’ve spent some time reflecting and keeping to yourself, but now they see you sharing more of what you’ve learned. You’re willing to let others in, to show your vulnerabilities, and to offer the wisdom you’ve gained from your experiences. This makes you relatable and wise in their eyes, someone who’s been through a lot but is now ready to connect and share with others.

There’s also something about your creativity. Even if you don’t always show it right away, people sense that you have a rich inner world. When you do express your feelings or ideas, it’s something really special that others value. They see you as someone who brings a unique perspective to the table, and they love how you bring your imagination and emotions into everything you do.

Lastly, people respect your thoughtful approach to life. You’re not someone who rushes into things and take your time to consider your options and make sure everything is just right before you move forward. This makes you seem deliberate and careful, which others really appreciate. They know that when you do make a decision, it’s something you’ve really thought through, and that brings a sense of confidence and trust in your choices.

Witch’s advice:

First, consider working with amethyst. This crystal is great for helping you stay clear-headed and keeping any negative energy at bay. It’s also wonderful for breaking free from old patterns and embracing the new opportunities you’re creating for yourself.

For herbs, basil and rosemary would be particularly helpful right now. Basil can bring protection and peace, helping you maintain the calm and balanced environment you’re striving for. Rosemary, on the other hand, is excellent for clarity and focus, giving you the mental boost you need to keep moving forward with confidence.

When it comes to teas, a soothing blend of lemon balm and chamomile would be perfect. Lemon balm is uplifting and can ease any lingering anxiety, while chamomile helps you relax and unwind. Together, they create a comforting, calming vibe that supports your journey toward balance and peace.

💜 3. Nidoking

People see you as someone who’s in the middle of a pretty intense moment. It’s like they can tell you’ve been thinking a lot about whether to stay in certain situations or move on, but there’s a part of you that’s still holding back. Maybe it’s because you’re not quite ready to let go of something that has been important to you, or perhaps you’re trying to find closure before taking the next big step. Either way, others sense that you’re in a bit of a back-and-forth, trying to figure out where you truly want to be.

They also see that you’re someone who might be feeling a bit stuck right now, like there’s something unfinished in your life. It’s as if you’re so close to reaching a major goal or completing a big chapter, but there’s still a loose end or two that’s keeping you from feeling like you can fully move forward. And you have this drive to wrap things up and reach that sense of completion, but they also understand that it’s not easy when you’re dealing with things that are beyond your control.

At the same time, you’ve got this energy that’s just contagious. You’re curious, excited about new ideas, and you bring that spark wherever you go. Even when life gets tough, they see that you’re still standing strong, ready to take on whatever comes your way. You’re like a warrior who’s been through a lot, but you’ve still got that fire inside you.

The good things they see in you:

One of the first things that stands out is your sense of independence and self-sufficiency. People see you as someone who’s really got it together, someone who’s worked hard to build a life that’s stable and fulfilling. You have this air of confidence and self-reliance that others find incredibly inspiring. They admire how you don’t just sit around waiting for things to happen. You go out and make things happen, and know your worth and you’re not afraid to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Another thing is that you have a way of bringing your dreams to life that really impresses people. And they also think that you’ve got this deep well of emotion and love, even if you don’t always show it right away. They admire how you’re able to care so deeply and how you’re not afraid to be vulnerable when it really matters. You have this gift for making others feel valued and appreciated, and that’s something they truly treasure in you.

You also lift others up, to bring joy and happiness wherever you go and they see you as someone who can find the good in almost any situation and help others see it too.

Witch’s Advice:

Grab some citrine. It’s the perfect crystal for you. Citrine is all about boosting your confidence and bringing in that joyful, abundant energy that you naturally have. It’s like a little battery for your positivity. And clear quartz is another good one for you; it helps you stay focused and amps up your intentions, making it even easier to manifest all the amazing things you’re working on.

For herbs, rosemary and bay leaves are your go-tos. Rosemary is great for keeping your mind clear and your energy protected, especially when you’re dealing with those frustrating, unfinished things. Bay leaves are awesome for setting intentions and making your wishes come true—write down what you want on a bay leaf, burn it, and let the magic happen.

And let’s not forget about tea! A blend of jasmine and green tea is perfect for you. Jasmine brings in that sweet, loving energy, helping you stay connected to your heart. Green tea keeps you motivated and focused, which is just what you need to keep moving forward. Together, these teas will help you stay balanced and energized, ready to take on anything.

[theresattrpgforthat]

It would be awesome if you could recommend some solo ttrpgs! I've been getting into them a lot lately and want to know more of what's out there. Especially journalling ones, as I enjoy creative writing. So far I've looked into (and will probably buy soon) Firelights, Apawthecaria, and Fox Curio's Floating Bookshop.

Also, I love this blog a ton. Already there have been some awesome games I've learned about from you, including the one you're currently working on. Excited to give it a try sometime! Keep being amazing 💜.

Theme: Solo Journalling Games

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm certainly excited to run Protect the Child for folks, play-testing it so far has been really fun!

As for your ask, solo games and journalling go hand in hand. These next few games are just a sampling of what I've added recently to my Solo Games folder on Itch.

Cats Know Things, by Mushroom Witch Games.

CATS KNOW THINGS is a light-hearted game meant to tell a humorous story of intrigue, all while pretending to be a very nosy cat. 

But you are no ordinary cat.

You are a very special feline who, through some magic you cannot explain, can communicate with your human, an individual who wishes to make their mark in society by any means necessary. The two of you decide to start a society page, (a very fancy type of tabloid newspaper dedicated to a particular location) revealing the glitz, glamour, and inner turmoil of the town’s most notable individuals. 

Use a d6 and a d10 to generate numbers, and sneak into places to listen into secret or private conversations. Then bring this news to your human companion, so that they may relay this gossip in the local society page. You need to find 6-8 scintillating stories before the week is up, so that your human has enough to print.

If you want a game full of scandal and cute furry little rumour-mongers, this might be the game for you!

Lingering, by Meghan Cross.

The last thing you remember, you were dying.

Now, breath fills your lungs once more and your eyes open, slowly shifting side to side as you attempt to regain your bearings. You are alive. But you are…changed. Your human form is gone, and in its place is one that is different, foreign, animal…

In Lingering, you play as a person who has died, only to find yourself alive again in an animal form, unable to move on to your eternal rest until you settle business left unsettled from your life. 

Throughout the course of a game, you will make several attempts to communicate with a chosen human, hoping to convey a message to them so they can assist you and help you move on once and for all. 

This game uses a deck of cards and some guiding adjectives to determine how your attempts at communication will go. Over eight rounds, you’ll flip cards while guessing as to whether each card will be higher or lower than the previous one, and a successful guess means a successful interaction. The details of those attempts are what you’ll be journalling, and Lingering provides a number of questions that you might try to answer with each attempt.

This game takes place over eight rounds, so it’s excellent if you want a short, contained game. It also has a two-player option if you want to try this game out with a loved one.

Dragon Dowser, by HatchlingDM.

Dragon Dowser is a solo journaling RPG using the Carta SRD by Peach Garden Games. You play a mysterious character known as a 'Dowser'. Your aim is to locate abandoned dragon eggs and return them to your Sanctuary. If you succeed before expending your resources, the hatchling you rescue will be reared to change the kingdom forever! 

This is a lovingly crafted game that uses card suits to represent four different kinds of ways your character will be tested, as they interact with different cultures, explore new landscapes, and dea with various conflicts, both human and nature-made.

You’ll travel across a grid of cards that provide you with journaling prompts as you travel. You’ll expend resources to overcome obstacles, looking for a dragon egg, represented by an Ace! Once you return this egg to a sanctuary, you’ll journal about your experience of raising the hatchling. Based on the games you’ve mentioned so far, I think Dragon Dowser is right up your alley.

EDEN, by blasez-faire.

You are Judaiah Clark, the Head Botanical Researcher at the Southern Sector of Eden. You are here for exactly 10 days, and were a last minute choice after the sudden disappearance of ■■■■■■ ■■■■■, the last person to hold this position. You are not here for work. Investigate.

EDEN is a single-page game that takes place over the course of 10 in-game days, with two questions that you will have to answer in your journal for every day. You are expected to write up a report with detailed notes, so much of the extrapolation taken from each pair of questions is going to come from your own imagination. To help with this you might want to come up with names for other characters, draw a map of the Southern Sector, or go into detail about the plants that this research station grows.

One thing is for sure - this is going to be a horror story. If you like games that give you a lot of room to stretch your creative wings, and you also like writing terrible endings for your characters, you might like this game.

Black Mountain Numbers Station, by Simon de Vet.

You wake one morning to the sound of a voice on the radio reading a series of numbers. On impulse, you jot them down. These numbers will become your life.

Black Mountain Numbers Station is a one-page, solo-journaling game about a mysterious broadcast, and about finding patterns in randomness. Using a unique dice mechanic to prompt you to describe your journey, you will tell a short story of obsession, frustration, and discovery.

This game is uses a 6x6 grid with boxes that you’ll need to fill when you roll a pair of dice. You’ll trigger evens when you roll doubles or find a certain pattern on the grid as you fill it, and in both of these cases, you’ll write special journal entries. The game ends when you fill your Frustration track, which symbolizes listening for too long without learning anything new. What exactly you learn, however, is up to you.

Bound, by K Ramstack.

Bound is a single player setting agnostic game about the connection between two people as they travel to a destination through the destruction of the world on a journey they will most likely not complete.

You will create two characters, their relationship to one another, the destruction that haunts them, and the motive for them to move forward.

During the game, you will be asked to write scenes in first person, switching perspectives between characters, and using their personality traits and subjective conceptualizations of each other to answer prompts.

Bound has a single and two-player version, and uses two decks of playing cards, one for each character. Each card will relate to a prompt on the prompt table, but only the highest ranked prompt will be answered. Each prompt will ask a question about the relationship, and how it changes.

If you want a deeply emotional game with a beautiful layout and lovely art, this is the game for you.

The Narrator Paradox, by psychound.

The Narrator Paradox is a one page solo-narrating game where you try to tell a story … if your protagonist will let you. In it, you determine the five acts of your story based on an oracle, then make rolls for your plot beats to see if you can wrangle your protagonist into the prescribed narrative. If you can't, they defy you and take the story into their own hands. Wrestle the story into shape against a rebellious hero, or lose them forever and have to finish the story without them in it. 

Using the Major Arcana of a tarot deck, two six-sided dice and a coin, The Narrator Paradox has a number of different ways that you’ll try to keep your story on track. However, with so much randomness, your protagonist is sure to have a mind of their own. This feels very much in tune with how many writers talk about their characters as if those characters have their own desires, so if you’ve ever related to that you might enjoy this game.

Also Check Out...

My Solo Games tag! I use this tag for every recommendation post specifically for solo games.

[quaintlyfig]

Having thoughts after reading @dimplyowl's posts about Izzy and Ed and their behaviors.

I mean, I've had these thoughts a lot already. I attempted to express some of them shortly after season 2 aired when folks on twitter would rail against Ed's violent behavior toward Izzy at the same time they vehemently insisted that Izzy had never done anything bad ever to Ed. I tried to craft thoughtful responses on posts of people I thought might be interested in having a conversation and open to maybe understanding a different way of understanding Izzy's behavior. I did this maybe about three or four times, and every time I was 100% completely ignored. No "thanks for sharing your thoughts," no "cool story, bro," no "get fucked." Crickets. Zip, nada, zilch.

This show is silly and serious, goofy and deep, sweet and heavy. And I like exploring both sides - being able to float in the fun and being able to plumb the depths. And I'm in this fandom to do both of those things in a safe community - which I experience in abundance each day and am so grateful for! - not to be re-traumatized by people who are gleeful and militant apologists for emotional abuse. I became very well acquainted with the block and mute buttons around this time, happy to curate my experience.

I freely admit that this is a bit of a ramble and that it won't be flawless, but it feels good to organize my thoughts.

Content note before you continue reading: Author's experience with physical and emotional abuse as it relates to their thoughts regarding Izzy Hands' character and people's dismissal of the gravity of emotional abuse. Not gratuitous, but take care of yourself, and do not continue reading if that may cause you harm. And yes, I've been to lots of therapy, for which I am very grateful! 💜

I was raised by season 1 Izzy Hands.

Filled with rage, virulently jealous, and expertly manipulative. Someone who expected me to meet their every need by existing in their fantasy world where they were the ultimate martyr, and I was the ungrateful piece of shit they bent over backwards for. Gaslighting and crazy-making were literally a part of my everyday existence.

Less frequently, this person was also physically abusive, and I feared this abuse even on the occasions it didn't occur.

Both fucked me up plenty, and I won't play the "abuse olympics" and say one was worse than the other. (And I would imagine that there isn't such a thing as "only" physical abuse - the two are intimately tied together.) I will say that in my *own* experience, which is individual to myself and probably the proportions of each type of abuse, I have found the emotional abuse to be absolutely insidious in the ways it molded my understanding of self, relationships, love, affection, communication, sex, worth, sense of free will, responsibility, and more. I am still unraveling these things even over a decade after I cut all contact with this person.

The scene where Izzy confronts Ed, who is cleaning up his cabin and wearing the pink robe, is one that really sticks out to me.

A decent number of the Izzy-apologist takes I read talked about how Izzy didn't do anything wrong when he told Ed he'd be better off dead than as a "namby pamby in a silk dressing gown pining for his boyfriend." That he only serves Blackbeard and that Edward "had better watch his fucking step." These people said that Ed could have basically let that go like water off a duck's back and never become the Kraken.

We are responsible for our own actions *and* abusers know exactly how to push your buttons, get under your skin, take you down at your knees, and to grind your face into the gravel when you're already down. They know exactly where to stick the proverbial knife to do the swiftest, most lethal damage with the fewest words. They know how to make you feel like less than nothing - that you have NO inherent worth outside of what you do and how you serve them - so that you will bend to their will.

This scene shatters my heart every single time. I think Con and Taika both get their characters so right in every syllable and micro-expression during this exchange.

And whether Izzy's manipulation is conscious or unconscious doesn't matter. Just as there are reasons, but no *excuse* for the way Ed hurts people (or that Stede or the Badmintons, etc, hurt people), there is no *excuse* for the way Izzy abuses Ed (or anyone else).

I also heard people saying that Izzy's threats were empty and Ed should have known that. No, there isn't one single thing about Izzy's threats that were empty. He brought the fucking British to the Revenge and tried to have Stede - the man Ed loves - executed before Ed's eyes.

"Are you really going to lick the king's boots" wasn't about Izzy wanting Ed to be free. Ed felt free and happy with Stede when he could be someone softer and 3-dimensional. Izzy wanted Ed to be licking *his* boots in his every choice and behavior, even if Ed was captain in name. Izzy never served "his captain" - he only ever served the Blackbeard of his fantasies. A caricature that left Ed feeling utterly hollow and contemplating "packing it all in" (which didn't mean "retirement" when he said those words).

I simply don't have time anymore for people who wish to live in their own fantasy world where Izzy is a wholly-innocent victim being preyed upon by the Big Bad Kraken. The Kraken may have been born the night Ed killed his dad, so that part of Ed pre-existed Izzy, but Izzy did say in his own dying words that he fed the darkness in Ed and needed it for himself.

I know some people have a hard time seeing Izzy as a father-type figure to Ed, as David Jenkins has said before. But I can see it perfectly clearly. He's living his life through Ed, wanting him to perform exactly as ordered, to be a two-dimensional figure that satisfies his own need to feel important and needed.

One thing I haven't seen discussed as much that I absolutely recognize in Izzy from my own experience with my abuser is his incredible jealousy of anyone else that gets Ed's attention. He does not want anyone else to be close to Ed. He wants to be the gatekeeper to Blackbeard and the only one to call him Edward. He literally tries to have Stede killed because of how jealous he is. He does not want anyone else to love Ed, and he doesn't want Ed to love anyone else. He is so deeply insecure that he cannot share him at all.

If Ed has a real relationship (of any kind, not just romantic - he and Stede start out as instant BFFs), then he is not capable of performing Izzy's version of Blackbeard and pouring all of his energies into serving Izzy's (obviously very unhealthy) emotional needs. It's a zero sum game. Izzy has to have all of Ed, or he's "lost" the game.

Izzy needs to be to needed so badly that he creates in his mind a Blackbeard/Ed who cannot function without him, and he will do whatever it takes to shove Ed back into the box he needs him in in order to keep his own identity secure. Because if Ed doesn't have to be Blackbeard, that means he doesn't need Izzy, and who is Izzy without Blackbeard? He doesn't have a stable self and so *uses* Ed to prop himself up to feel like "somebody." He has built his own identity around the fantasy of Blackbeard.

Just because someone isn't losing toes doesn't mean abuse isn't happening. Emotional abuse is real. Additionally, perpetrators of violence have often been victims themselves. (This isn't even touching on the fact that they're all pirates.) Ed can be both. These things are messy as fuck. But I will say that Izzy's abuse clearly pre-dated Ed's Kraken-era violence against Izzy by years, at least, if not decades.

I'm genuinely not sure what the perceived merit or gain is in pretending otherwise. And just as Ed is ultimately responsible for his own actions, so is Izzy.

I appreciated Izzy's redemption arc, and I cried when he died. And I think it's ok that Izzy died. And Izzy was a very skilled emotional abuser in season 1. All of those things can be true at the same time.

I know there are a thousand other ways to come at this topic and examine it. I didn't even touch the question of apologies or redemption or any of that. Nor am I going to. This was primarily a personal examination of season 1 Izzy Hands' abusive behavior.

--

Image from Our Flag Means Death Frames on twitter

[occultradio]

Hi sweet pea! I was wondering would it be cool for you to lore dump about your alien "breeding" system? Are they all potentially fertile? Sorry if ti's sudden but I love everything that involves worldbuilding and racebuilding!!

Hi!! 💜

Like with their emotional transfer thing, I took sims mechanics and ran with it. Mpreg, especially with aliens has been a cannon thing with sims for a realllyyyyy long time now regardless of what sex organs they have lol

Like Vis is the bio child of two lesbians so he knows absolute fuck all about gender roles anyways.

As for Sixam races/species I'm still working on that, the 3 types I do have figured out I still don't have names for.

I have a type inspired by cervidae(deer) & bovidae (mainly antelope)

Like Trace's mom or River who I have married to Strangerville's Erwin (their not always yellow it was just a coincidence)

Then I have one inspired by tropical fish (their not aquatic its just aesthetics) Viscera was originally made with @saruin's milkshake challenge. and his twin sister who was recently made because of an ask game lmfao. There's also Tilly, his late wife.

But the one I have set to throw a wrench in things genetic wise I haven't made as an individual yet. But their more spider/monster based, that one doesn't hybridize well and could possibly be from a planet other than Sixam. That's where Trace's face teeth and spider eyes come from. Them being intersex and having various health problems are just genetic fuck ups from the two species being incompatible. So literally any species could mix and be mostly fine except for the weird spider one.

Trace's assumed fertility issues (decades of groupies but zero kids) is again taken from animals, like mules & zebroid's who are a hybrid of horse and donkey or zebra. 99.9% of the time they are sterile but there's been extremely rare instances of mules having offspring.

BUTTTTTT I also have these ones who don't fit those 3 types at all

I've always been obsessed with genetics and genetic deformity's one of my favorite places I've ever been on a date to was the Mutter Museum, they have the largest collection of preserved human deformities and other oddities and it was just so cool to see that yeah dna fucks up majorly some times.

I also personally collect 'oddities' (found bones and taxidermy)

But yeah Trace can make/have babies but their fertility rate is absolutely garbage so without any actual medical testing they were right to assume infertile.

as for determining who gets impregnanted??? idk 🤷‍♀️ Trace has topped Vis a few times and at the end of their rough makeup session but then again Vis's moms are both biologically female and they have bio kids.

[ink-flavored]

for any of the anthology characters <3:

😍Do they like romance? Have they always hated the idea, or are they a swooning hopeless romantic?

🖤What’s the hardest part of love for them?

💜Do they have a “type” of person they tend to date?

💦Is it super obvious when they have feelings for someone, or are they a master at hiding it?

🏃‍♂️Is anybody their “one that got away”? Have they ever “gotten away” from someone else?

well there are only two named characters over both anthologies right now because....i got obsessed with Harlan and Yvonne very fast ddasfdghf

so i'll just do those two!

😍Do they like romance? Have they always hated the idea, or are they a swooning hopeless romantic?

Harlan isn't hopeless, but he does like romance. He likes dates and kisses and the idea of having one person to rely on is comforting.

Yvonne swings closer to hopeless romantic, mostly because she's too nervous most of the time to participate herself. Indulging in romantic fantasy and imagining what it would be like to be swept off her... hooves was her one way of participating in love until she met Harlan.

🖤What’s the hardest part of love for them?

For Harlan, it's being vulnerable for sure. He doesn't like it, it's embarrassing, and ruins his Chill Cool Guy image. But you know, the mortifying ordeal of being known etc. etc. He's working on it.

For Yvonne, it's trust. She has a very hard time trusting other people, even nice people, because of horse anxiety, but also because like... for the first 20-something years of her life she lived with the same group of people and only saw "out-group" individuals a few times a year—must less spoke to them regularly. Despite living in the city for several years, it's hard to unlearn that level of isolation.

💜Do they have a “type” of person they tend to date?

Yvonne has never dated anybody, so not really, but the type of person she tends to be attracted to is pretty consistent. She admires extroverted, outgoing types because they seem impossibly cool and carefree from her anxious perspective. No points for guessing how this relates to Harlan.

Having grown up in a very satyr environment, Harlan's type tends to be "yes", but for romantic prospects he gets a little more specific. He goes for the "ethereal beauty" types, majestic and eye-catching. Being a Clydesdale, it is hard not for Yvonne to be majestic and eye-catching, even when she's not trying.

💦Is it super obvious when they have feelings for someone, or are they a master at hiding it?

Perhaps surprisingly, Harlan is terrible at hiding romantic feelings. All of his chill instantly evaporates and he becomes shy and can't help stuttering over every word. When he tries to hide it, it just becomes more obvious, because he overshoots it every time into "HAHA I'M SO NORMAL!!! RIGHT??"

Yvonne is so nervous all the time that she's able to camouflage her romantic nerves with all the normal horse anxiety. When Yvonne gets awkward and quiet and won't stop staring at her hands you go, yeah that's how she regularly is, must be a bad anxiety day. And technically you're not wrong!!!

🏃‍♂️Is anybody their “one that got away”? Have they ever “gotten away” from someone else?

Yvonne left her herd and everyone she'd ever known, including one close friend that had feelings for her, but wasn't willing to leave the herd behind for an unknown amount of time—considering Yvonne's goals, it may mean many years if not forever. She knew about these feelings, but didn't feel comfortable being in a relationship when she still had so much personal growth to do, both transition-wise and other things, so... it just never happened.

For Harlan, not really. All his relationships have been pretty straightforward, and he's never been left feeling like a relationship didn't meet its potential.

[try out my 100 question romance & love ask game]

[kwanisms]

I came back to read Otherworldly and I think it’s going to be one of them stories where you can read 1000 times and never get bored. I love how much detail went into this, especially when Minho was explaining his home. it’s beautifully written and i will forever love this story, the emotions written by the colour of his eyes is just amazing, as someone whose all for ‘eyes tell you the true emotions of a person,’ it makes it fun to remember what colours link to Minho’s emotions!

On a real note, I really think Minho would suit an alien type movie because I believe his eyes tell us everything he’s feeling because he’s not as expressive as the others, if that makes sense?

I would love to hear if you have any updates on this fic and I hope you have an amazing day/afternoon/evening :)

Thank you so much for your message! I love hearing things like this. Otherworldly is one of my favorite things I've ever written! It was supposed to be a simple oneshot and done but I fell so in love with the universe and characters I created with that. So hearing that other people love it as much as I do makes me feel all warm and happy inside!

The emotions being linked to the eyes is something that I just came up with on the spot and it's been so well received and I think it's such a neat concept because not only is Minho like that but his entire species is. It's interesting because no matter what, in their society, those around you know what you're feeling immediately. Masking emotions in their world is nearly impossible.

As far as anything further, I do have a couple things related to Otherworldly. I have a sort of sequel piece in Kinktober this year where Minho and Y/N are exploring an alien moon together. That is coming on Minho's birthday.

I also have a series planned for this universe. I'm still working on the outline and planning so I'm not sure how long it'll be. I'm thinking 10 parts at least if I write them as like 20k words each but we'll see. The series will see Y/N leaving Earth and starting a new life on Minho's home world, Ninsa, and integrating into his life, meeting his friends, learning the language and customs as well as dealing with feelings of homesickness, imposter syndrome, and feeling wildly out of place. She also learns that her pristine image of Minho is not as exactly as clean as she thought and that there's a lot more to him than she knows. He's a vastly complex individual with a past and she gets dragged into that, regardless of how much he tries to shield her.

I don't want to give too much more away so that's all I'll say for now ꒰｡•◡•｡꒱ as I get closer to finishing the outline and some other projects, I will be releasing more details about the series so keep an eye out for it! It will most likely be called Star Lost with You. And to anyone who also reads for the lovely hyunjinspark, I've already spoken with Jade and she's okay with me using the title since the stories are nothing alike.

Thank you again for your lovely message and I hope you have a wonderful time of day as well! 💙💜🩷

[rosesnbooks]

Hi, I'd like to participate in your new ask game!

My 3 assumptions about you: 1) You like colors like blue, green - you like staring at the sky, ocean, river, lake and trees etc. Did you enjoy stories about mermaids when you were a small child? 2) You enjoy spending time around animals and nature. They remind you of good memories and nice things you've had in your life. 3) Sometimes you like to be alone. When there is only you and silence. You like to analyze everything in peace of your mind.

My birth chart:

I'm into men :D

Thank you so much 💜🤩

hii, hope you’re doing well these days! thanks for participating and i hope you'll like my reading🦋🌷

1) i love all of those things! yes, i loved stories about mermaids and i loved to pretend to be one in the sea

2) i’ts true, a small part of my memories are connected to those things, but it’s enough for me to love it. one can never get old of animals and nature, right

3) yes, i like my alone time, especially before bed. i like to process things on my own, and i even talk to myself sometimes lol, i’ve tried out diaries but they’re not for me

okay noww let’s see your potential future partner and your love language!

ah, my fellow pisces moon! why are we so attracted to air signs when we are obviously so sensitive?! but i get it. in love, you can give a lot and you like to daydream about having a great romance probably. above anything else, you want a friend in a partner. your heart is sensitive, and you know how giving you can be, so you want to give it to someone who knows you deeply; someone who has been there with you through ups and downs and chose to stay each time, and someone who can talk with you for days about anything and wouldn’t dare to judge you. i guess that’s why you’re attracted to aquarius people because they can offer you these things. i think you crave to be understood, even if it’s not easy for you to understand yourself. you need someone communicative, caring, humanitarian, and intellectual, but also very soulful, intuitive, dreamy, and gentle with you! so, it would be best if you found someone with air+water placements, which is not a must but it would be ideal. also, watch out, don’t get too carried away when you find the one: cherish your individuality and character. you might find your partner somewhere far away or in a spiritual place. they may stand out from others in the place, and you may idealize them a lot when you see them. you’ll also probably meet a couple of people who you’ll consider the one, but that will be false. this is something i’ve read recently. and watch out for the emotionally unavailable types! wishing you lots of luck and love dear✨🧚‍♀️❤️

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 We Hunt the Flame Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What was the last epic fantasy you read? ❓ 🦇 People lived because she killed. People died because he lived. Zafira is the Hunter, disguising herself as a man when she braves the cursed forest of the Arz to feed her people. Nasir is the Prince of Death, assassinating those foolish enough to defy his autocratic father, the sultan. If Zafira was exposed as a girl, all of her achievements would be rejected; if Nasir displayed his compassion, his father would punish him in the most brutal of ways. Both Zafira and Nasir are legends in the kingdom of Arawiya--but neither wants to be.

🦇 War is brewing and the Arz sweeps closer, engulfing the land in shadow. To save her family, Zafira embarks on a quest to uncover a lost artifact that can restore magic and stop the Arz. Nasir is sent by the sultan on a similar mission: retrieve the artifact and kill the Hunter. But an ancient evil stirs as their journey unfolds--and the prize they seek may pose a threat greater than either can imagine. Will they make it out alive, or find something more than the prize they were sent to find?

💜 Mashallah! I'm going to try and HORRIBLY fail to convey my love for this book (you can totally tell I'm a writer some days, can't you?). We Hunt the Flame is everything you romantasy lovers could ever ask for with an eloquent grasp of language most writers could only hope to achieve. Hafsah Faizal's Middle Eastern-inspired fantasy transcends pen and page. Her characters are brutally flawed, aching with familial pressures, loss, and pain, clinging to thin threads of hope for more; each with unique voices, motivations, and quirks that bring them off the page and into our homes (and hearts). Your feet will crunch over the ice of Demenhur, traverse the Sharr's forestry, tiptoe across glossy tiled floors of Sultan's Keep. With every breath, you'll smell kibbeh garnished with mint or the zest of Kifah's rich spices over rabbit, taste the tang of zataar or rich qahwa against your tongue. You know I love when stories make a character's culture relatable through food, but reading We Hunt the Flame had me craving ma'amoul and katayef in the worst way. Okay, getting side-tracked.

💜 If the vivid imagery and powerful prose don't capture you, the characters will. Zafira is burdened with responsibility yet forced to hide her identity as a woman under a hook and cloak, presenting her accomplishments as those of a man. She feeds her entire village, expecting and receiving nothing in return. Her heart is heavy with grief and guilt--much as Nasir's is. That parallel creates a foundation for their slow-burn romance, their chemistry undeniable but their sense of duty, guilt, and heavy hearts getting in the way. Oh, and Nasir was sent to kill Zafira, so that's an issue, too. (Sneaking back into this review after reading We Free the Stars: khara, it gets SO MUCH MORE INTENSE!!!). They're snippy and bitter with one another, those quick barbs adding to the tension between them, and yet there's a spark of mutual respect and understanding they've never found in anyone else. If you love an "I hate everyone but you" kind of romance, this is it!

💜 Speaking of snipe, Altair. Sweet baby boy, his sass is EVERYTHING. Altair and Nasir's bromance (*coughs*) is an enemies to besties mess in the making. Alongside our other side characters, Benyamin and Kifah, these five create a found family "zumra" you'll absolutely adore.

💙 My only issue was the pacing, slowed due to the amount of introspection. Zafira and Nasir aren't the type of characters to talk out their feelings with others; of COURSE they're going to internalize everything. While I recognize that this was the only way the story would work, it did cause the story to drag at certain points. I also guessed at a few things, but Faizal sprinkled the breadcrumbs of her story with care, creating an intricate tapestry that unites the zumra and their individual threads into a singular epic.

🦇 Recommended for all romantasy fans, namely fans of Ember in the Ashes, Rebel of the Sands, The Wrath & the Dawn, Spice Road, and The City of Brass.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🌙 Young Adult Epic Fantasy 🏹 Sands of Arawiya Duology 🌙 Magic 🧭 Assassin/Huntress Enemies to Lovers 🌙 Lyrical and Spellbinding 🏹 Arab & Muslim Inspired/Writer 🌙 Dual POV 🧭 "I came to kill you but fell for you" 🌙 Slow Burn & Super Angsty

✨ Acclaim ✨ 🌙 An Ignyte Award Winner 🌙 A TIME Magazine Top 100 Fantasy Book of All Time 🌙 A Paste Magazine Best YA Book 🌙 A PopSugar Best YA Book 🌙 A TeenVogue Book Club Pick 🌙 A Barnes & Noble Teen Book Club Pick

💬 Quotes ❝ "A life with magic means nothing to me if you aren’t in it." ❞ ❝ A thousand leagues and a thousand sands. For you, a thousand times I would defy the sun. ❞ ❝ We hunt the flame, the light in the darkness, the good this world deserves. ❞ ❝ Everyone has a turning point. A breaking point, too. ❞ ❝ A life without purpose may be no life, but a life without love is nothing but an existence. ❞ ❝ His voice was a caress. It lilted across the length of her name, tasting it. Teasing it. She wanted him to say it again. And again and again. She wanted him to do to her what he had done to her name. ❞ ❝ 'All right’ is when you’re bleeding black but it’s not as bad as bleeding red. When the world crashes but you’re not alone when it does. When the darkness is absolute but you hunt down the smallest flame and coax it brighter. When you carve the good out of every bad and claim it a victory. ❞

[blaze4567810]

Negate desires purity Being nosey following ÐĄ scent sniffing 🅰️ŘRØǓÑĎ demanding 🅰️ taste mouth watering…

ØŘR U gonna pay FO’ this appetizer like an entree FO’ an entire meal…

Cause UR ruining dessert & bringing home seconds…

Feelings RŘ…

Feelings is…

Feelings of…

Feelings ŤÕ …

Feelings from…

Feelings put…

Feelings did do does don’t doesn’t & RŘ doing RŘ dictating what’s 🅰️ŘRØǓÑĎ & staying away…

Seeing U avoids a lot of things blocking this…

Speakings of U soundly perpetuates comprehension above stability psychologically…

Thinking of U created more mentally…

Loving U gives me this…

Interested in U brings us this…

Keeping U keeps DAT intact…

Sharing U questions it all…

Showing U off brings jealousy overall…

What¿? U think isn’t what¿? U been saying & U holding Bẞ🅱️🔙 from actually giving U concerns among all ÐĄ things U negate 🅰️ŘRØǓÑĎ others in regards ŤÕ topic letting U indirectly Bẞ🅱️ 🅰️ egotistical skeptical judgmental individual actually all alone still trying ŤÕ find someone else even though U have someone…

Denying DAT UR looking while UR actually solid in something Bẞ🅱️ut not fully committed…

U doubt yourself ŤÕ creep into another relationship with cynical objectives from requirements as U ruin ŤÕ equal out what¿? UR experiences RŘ …

this is when¿? making things better FO’ yourself changes FO’ U 🔛 you which U blame 🔛 someone else towards UR dissatisfaction of being U emotionally…

Ĩ mean everyone wants 🅰️ relationship status…

Bẞ🅱️ut those RŘ just questions regardless of ÐĄ answer…

So what¿? U want ØŘR RŘ looking FO’¿? U just wondering Bẞ🅱️ut have no idea of ÐĄ intent ŤÕ ÐĄ interest DAT demands me ŤÕ continue ÐĄ conversation…

DAT aspect being turned into 🅰️ projection of choices & demands isn’t arrogance…

Whether U give me UR opinion ØŘR past decisions…

Obligations won’t lower my standards Bẞ🅱️Ŷ ÐĄ position Ĩ am in…

If U prefer something otherwise Ĩ mite need 🅰️ recollection ŤÕ descriptions DAT favor UR answers ŤÕ nothing said Bẞ🅱️ut shown…

Now why¿? U want my wants & needs not ŤÕ Bẞ🅱️ believable ŤÕ objections of consistent determined pleasures of never having it Bẞ🅱️ut always giving it…

More than 1️⃣ fantasy isn’t 🅰️ dream…

My imagination taking 💜Ł💘VẼ🖤 deeply Bẞ🅱️Ŷ intervention lets it all help frequently…

It sounds similar Bẞ🅱️ut it’s not familiar U seeing ÐĄ same thing Bẞ🅱️4️⃣ thinking Bẞ🅱️out it…

U lost ÐĄ connection Bẞ🅱️ut feel like reestablishing feelings more than getting what¿? Goes 🅰️ŘRØǓÑĎ comes 🅰️ŘRØǓÑĎ…

Ĩ use ŤÕ get forget Bẞ🅱️out it

Somehow it’s now let’s get over it…

Like it hurts U more than me…

Bẞ🅱️Ŷ how¿? U looked @ it…

🚺 said…

What’s wrong ¿? I’m just playing with ÐĄ panties

Bẞ🅱️ut she’s saying “get serious Bẞ🅱️out ÐĄ

🐈‍⬛ 🅿️🐱ŠŚŸ 🐈 “

Whoa whoa whoa ;

What¿? Has gotten into U …

It’s not my fault; Ĩ want ŤÕ keep in contact & stay in conversation with beautiful decently respected adored women who¿? Ĩ feel RŘ magnificent in ÐĄ way Ĩ live will live & have lived experiencing different types of beauties…

What¿? Gives U say over what¿? U want ¿? When¿? what¿? U need is approached ŤÕ how¿? Much U have even less than when¿? tou lose it Bẞ🅱️Ŷ not finding it…

Ĩ don’t 💜Ł💘VẼ🖤 them all ÐĄ same…

They have different purposes & RŘ 💜Ł💘VẼD🖤 FO’ DIFFERENT REASONS…

U father asks who¿? did this ŤÕ my daughter…

Well is 🚺 behaving ¿? “Yeah”

Im just 🅰️ 🪮ŅIĞĠA📿 who¿? ain’t get 🅰️ chance…

Im ÐĄ Bẞ🅱️ĒŞŤ gambler in my old man’s family…

Blop blop

Blop blop

Blop blop

That’s 1️⃣ heŁŁ OF 🅰️ STROKE…

Me & G RŘ twin enemies anyways…

Being screwed isn’t even ÐĄ start of getting FVĶ❌ed

U trynna FVĶ❌ me

Bẞ🅱️ut Ĩ ain’t trynna 💜Ł💘VẼ🖤 U

Ĩ ❌ould get all these ẞB🅱️ÏTK❌ĦĚŞ no problem…

Bẞ🅱️ut do U know how¿? Much plastic Ĩ would have ŤÕ go through swiping ŤÕ ÐĄ ⬅️ ¿?

Why¿? they interested in ÐĄ wing man Ĩ have no clue…

Bẞ🅱️ut U cannot ŘR🌀ŁŁ 🔛 🅰️

✈️🛩F.Ł.Î.Ț.Ę..🫡 🛫🛬

NNOW AFTER UR CHECKS TOU ❌an GET TICKETS…

Behind it all who’s putting who¿? they RŘ in UR ear besides what¿? U want ŤÕ hear along with…

U have & done gave 🅰️ chance FVĶ❌ǏŃĞ with U truthfully DAT U do t want ŤÕ understand & considerably use listening as misunderstood ŤÕ get somewhere selfishly leading ŤÕ U saying what¿? Di U want with me openly ¿?

How¿? U try ŤÕ contradict what¿? Im saying ŤÕ have an understanding after knowing & then being told of UR mistake ŤÕ further take U into what¿? Ĩ want ❌an get U dropped off…

Don’t even try UR warning signs if UR man doesn’t trust me…

Ĩ wasn’t even 💬ing ŤÕ U ¿? U came into ÐĄ communication with open ears ŤÕ UR walls writing something in bleeding DAT needs ŤÕ dry & UR smudging it together word FO’ word…

So Ĩ don’t need ŤÕ read…

Now me & my ♥️ŠĦ🚺RTǏE♥️ asking what’s these thots; interruptions; advice; examples; distractions; & knowledge FO’ from what¿? We didn’t have ØŘR created between us ŤÕ keep us separated ¿?

Our 💜Ł💘VẼ🖤 is young Bẞ🅱️ut not childish & there’s not much ŤÕ explain over what¿? Others feel as if that’s ÐĄ reason we together…

U wanna clear this rumor ⬆️ ☺️🤭😘❌MWA⭕️😚😙❣️ ØŘR should Ĩ clear this situation ⬆️ ⬇️ Ł.Ü.Š.T. ⬆️ ¿?

[monocytogenes]

Hi fam! For DA Pravin: 🐉 DRAGON, 🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN, 🤍 WHITE HEART. For SWTOR Pravin: 💜 PURPLE HEART, 😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES, 🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND

Pravin Talavera

🐉 what is your oc’s favorite mythical creature?

Probably something that isn't too monstrous or akin to darkspawn, lol, since he's all NOPE about that sort of thing. I imagine there's some fun mythological creatures in Antivan culture, often related to wild and weird stuff sailors witness out at sea--Pravin would be fond of sirens or mermaids, given the combination of sexiness and danger and the absolute numbers they would do in songs, poetry and theatrical works.

🖊️ does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

(IS METRION OFFERING LOL)

I imagine tattoos are not really a thing in Orlesian culture--they're viewed as either primitive or potentially criminal, given associations with the Dalish and transient types like sailors. Matters are a bit different in Antiva, where you have some cultural cross-pollination from Rivain, but they still tend to be associated with particular professions like the Crows, who have their own sets of designs and associated meanings. They're much less common among the nobility on the whole due to their conscious imitation of Orlesian norms.

So no, Pravin doesn't have any tattoos. I'm sure he's painted them on from time to time when playing certain Antivan and Riviani characters, but he finds the notion of having actual tats kind of low class and demonstrably foreign in his adopted homeland. As an actor and bard, he values adaptability in his appearance besides; putting something permanent and identifying on his skin rather stands in the way of that intention.

🤍 what are three of your oc’s neutral/questionable traits?

(1) His paranoia. It's a natural consequence of his trauma, and one that's unquestionably rewarding in his illicit line of work--much of why he's such a talented bard, apart from his impressive ability to intuit people's feelings and desires and lie accordingly, is his anxiety-driven compulsion to really think through potential contingencies and plan around them. He's always double-checking locks, sitting with his back to a wall, disclosing just enough in conversations to keep the powerful from exercising too much leverage over him. He's got blackmail atop blackmail in the hands of various friends, ready to be whispered into the right ears should someone consider taking him out. He holds people at arms' length in the most pleasant way possible until they prove themselves reliable, and even then, there's few individuals he's truly willing to trust.

The flipside of this is that it not infrequently hampers his intimate relationships. He can be too harsh and protective in his assessments--as with Thalia, whose apparent dearth of self-preservation instincts freaks him out--and too unwilling to voice his true thoughts and feelings when that means putting himself in a vulnerable position. He's loath to admit when he's in pain, hesitant to confess his more unpalatable impulses, and uses sex as a coping mechanism because Maker forbid he submit to the ordeal of being known. It's very much a "in loving you, I show you exactly where to cut me" sort of thing--sometimes one just has to take the risk to enjoy the benefits, and striking that balance is difficult for him.

(2) His judginess with respect to his art. He holds himself to high standards, and he's benefited from that drive--while the Orlesian theater community was warm and welcoming to him from the get-go, actually making it to roles like those he played at the Grande Royeaux required copious technical skill and deep cultural understanding, something he needed to cultivate through intent observation and days upon weeks of practice. The fact that he was able to impress Orlais' most discerning audiences has really been the pride of his life.

It did, however, also make him more intolerant of divergent takes and beginners' stumbles than he probably should be. He reminds himself that he, too, was an amateur once, and can largely keep himself in check when actual ignorance is involved, but Maker, there's some interpretations of roles by players who Ought to Know Better that he'll get super bitchy about. (Gaubert likes to give him a hard time when he's really taking personal offense to a performance as an insult to the craft. Like, settle down, just pass over it in silence…)

(3) His attitude towards sexuality. He's good about it on several counts--highly giving, conscious of consent, excellent at communication throughout, accepting of different sexualities and preferences while forward about his own. He gets his pleasure largely through satisfying his partners, and really frames his encounters around that.

He does, however, use sex as a tool, both in the service of bard work and to generally ignore his own troubles. While he's honest about his attraction--he won't sleep with people he finds physically repulsive--he has lied about his ultimate intentions and feigned attachment to get information or access to a space. He knows leading someone on isn't kind, but he'll nevertheless do it if it'll help him complete a job. Apart from that, as previously mentioned, he'll focus on getting a partner off so he doesn't have to think over his own messy feelings or discuss stuff he's going through--it's a high as much as anything chemical, a bandage to slap over wounds that really need suturing, just so he can avoid looking at them for a bit. (Really, is he even bleeding if he can't see it?)

Pravin Winscliff II

💜 what is your oc’s ancestry/genetic background?

So! In the Empire you've got a few basic ancestral groups: people who can (or claim they can) trace their ancestry back to the oldest families (sith and immigrant Jedi), human families who were enslaved/vassals of the above before the Great Hyperspace War, humans from territories conquered after the Great Hyperspace War, and aliens of whatever type. The dominant narrative of course is that the foremost are the most genetically ideal and have the most natural aptitude with the Force, and things get worse down from there due to greater outbreeding or straight up being an inferior species. While it is true that Force sensitivity tends to run in families, there are also plenty of bloodlines that have picked up rare diseases through inbreeding (this is a substantial part of why genetic engineering technology is so advanced in the Empire), as well as far more examples of aliens with astonishing Force ability than the powers-that-be are comfortable with.

Pravin's from a postwar human family, probably originating in the Outer Rim; their story is essentially an Imperial version of the American dream--they immigrated to Dromund Kaas and came up from service work, taking advantage of all that free public education to break into the upper echelons of industry. Pravin's great-grandfather co-founded a defense contracting company; most of his immediate relatives either work in that, the military, or some branch of the civil service. His name carries a certain amount of recognition--they don't really have branded products, but the average Imperial citizen's aware of it the way one might be aware of, say, General Dynamics or Northrop Grumman--and it certainly gave him access to elite spaces below the Force-sensitive glass ceiling, albeit not without some nominal snobbery from the "old money" folks from time to time. (I highkey have a headcanon that he went to boarding school with Quinn, child of a venerable old prewar military lineage, and that Quinn's Downton Abbey-esque relatives definitely talked some shit about Those Winscliff Upstarts who are only three generations removed from poverty. Like you do.)

I'll note too that Pravin's looks alone don't carry any real class character to Kaasian eyes. People note traits common to particular family lines in a "this person looks like their parent" sort of way, but there's such diversity among human immigrants that species means far more than skin tone or hair texture in their racial calculus. (Interestingly, Pravin does have a verrrry small amount of sith ancestry in his genes--like 5%--but it's not enough to alter his looks beyond a human baseline, and is frankly common among any human family that's spent more than a few generations marrying in Imperial space.)

😊 what are your oc’s career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

He wanted to be an actor once, in a different life. It's a 'what if' that haunts him sometimes, when he's shaking off the nightmares and struggling with the pain of withdrawal--what if he'd been brave enough to defy his parents and follow that dream? What if his greatest worries had been confined to auditions and performances, if he'd never set foot on Hutta or Jadus' dreadnought, never had to fight his way out of his own head?

(Maybe the agent in his place would've activated the Eradicators. Maybe he would've been a victim himself, incinerated on Kaas. Maybe, in some horrible, cosmic way, it needed to be him in that place, at that moment.)

He chose to be an agent because it seemed thrilling and adventuresome and it was, despite everything. He's felt regrets about it, but more over what was done to him than anything he did; he stumbled here and there, but made the right choices when it mattered.

All that said, he isn't totally sure what he wants now. He's the dog who caught the car, in a way, with his freedom in hand but no clear plan on what to do with it beyond his slow revenge against the remaining members of the Cabal. Prior to the events of All the Times We've Said Goodbye, he's more or less been a spy-for-hire doing his damnedest to avoid attaching himself to any particular causes and ignoring the fact that it doesn't mean anything to him beyond the satisfaction of a job well done. The work is steady, and it pays for his ship and his drugs and his dates with one-night stands, and he should be grateful to not have to answer to any authority beyond customs officers and ATC, but…it's hollow. Despite himself, he misses the stakes of his old life, the accomplishments that saved lives, the deep trust relationships he nurtured.

Despite himself, he misses being in love.

It's hard for him to admit any of that, to even conceptualize it, but he gets around to voicing his feelings to Shara at least. He wants her, however she'll have him, and I imagine they get together despite the difficult logistics, which gives his life a bit more purpose. He ends up getting dragged slowly, somewhat kicking-and-screaming back into intelligence work too. :)

🍃 what is/was your oc’s favorite subject in school?

He liked the extracurriculars more than the classes--he was a theater kid and also did fencing, getting good enough to actually win some regional competitions! (It helped that those were both very sexy endeavors that got him a lot of tail as well, lol.)

In terms of actual courses, I imagine he was always inclined towards the social sciences; he ultimately wound up with a polisci degree at university after his parents forbade him from majoring in performing arts. He finds policy stuff particularly interesting; I have a recurring headcanon that he'll often watch the Republic equivalent of C-SPAN in his downtime because he thinks senators going at it over legislation is both hilarious and fascinating--there is, after all, no equivalent to that for the Dark Council.

[karoochui]

Hello there Mika!! Your art is huge inspiration to me and I love it so much words can't explain it, I absolutely love your sketches, doodles, full art pieces, whatever you make I absolutely adore. Sorry for blabbing but just wanted to ask about things you really hate about sskk, like what the fandom does with the ship that you dislike?😭 Take care of yourself drink some water!💜💫

TW for sa mention!! Sorry but i ramble a bit here so im gonna add a cut!! (Plus the tw) Take care of yourself too and ill get some water right now actually😋

Okay firstly!! Hello!! Thank you so much!! And no worries no need to apologize its very sweet of you im so glad you like my art i really do appreciate it!! Thank you!

And its hard for me to say exactly? Im still very much into bsd but ive been distant with the fandom for a little while now BUT!! From what i remember what i usually didnt like was when people would make them so..two dimensional kinda?? BSD has pretty morally complicated characters and it was really weird when people would flatten sskk's personalities down to just some ship dynamic bc they are SOOO much more complicated than that. And thats just as INDIVIDUALS!! Even when considering them together theres a lot to think about when it comes down to their functionality, whether or not its viewed as romantic or platonic. And of course youre always gonna have those people who just water down any mlm ship into some weird dynamic that doesn't even fit the character's relationship which is just obviously Not Great.

And then as far as the characters individually i feel like a lot of people baby atsushi its really odd. Like that man has gone through some shit he is GROWNNN. I think its because hes the "softer" one out if the two or whatever. Which yeah he's nicer, its made clear akutagawa isn't a great person but atsushi isnt the exact opposite of akutagawa or the "softer" one. They're narrative foils of eachother, they mirror many of the other's character traits and atsushi has also done some Not Super Stellar shit. Do i think most of it was within reason? A little, considering what hes been through and exactly what he did. I do think he is the better person between the both of them - and i feel like thats also proven - but he is by NO means "innocent" or anything weird like that.

Then for akutagawa its really only that weird sa headcannon that originated from something he said in Beast (i can't remember exactly what, but i remember thinking it was NOT enough to warrant a hc like that. I remember that much). And as someone who's been through that a couple times i think its one thing if its some way to help someone cope or feel more seen (more specifically it isnt my business to cast judgement -unless it hurts them or someone else- and im no therapist), but i have seen people apply the headcannon simply because they say its "implied" or it "makes sense". Which, once again, as someone who's gone through that i think thats just. Weird. I dont like it. I personally try to stay away from any talk about it at all from anyone.

I also don't like when people make it seems like Atsushi has to save Akutagawa or something like hes some knight in shining moral armor. Its much more complicated than that and I could go further into this but it would be a whole rant about their characters and dynamic and itd go on FOREVER. So im just gonna say that akutagawa is also a grown man and knows well enough what hes doing with himself, even if its unhealthy (not that Atsushi is any better but lets be real no one is this show really is) and he wouldn't listen to atsushi if he didnt want to anyway. This part is really just personal opinion though, and i don't cast hard judgement on people who see them that way. Im not the type to care enough.

So yeah i guess it wasn't really hard to say at all LMFAO but otherwise i dont think ive had any other issues abt it?? I dont pay much attention to things i don't like anyway so im not easily bothered lol

But i hope this answered your question!! Plz lmk if i missed or misinterpreted something!! It was nice to talk about BSD again anyway though, ive missed it.

[themedialmercurial]

🔭🪐Astro Observations🪐🔭

P.S. these notes are based on personal observations and experiences and yours may be similar or drastically different💜💗

Cancer mars tends to experience extremes in emotion. When they're happy, it's just as contagious as when they're mad. They tend to frustrate easily and are passive aggressive. When confronted about their behaviour, they aren't willing to hear it and would rather indadvertedly hint that they're mad at you. They take confrontation as disrespect and are defensive. I feel like you have to feel them out and walk on eggshells to see how they're feeling. On a brighter note, when they love you, you'll always know. They are the type to always go out and get your favourite foods or instinctively buy that shirt you've always wanted. They're very loving and kind yet particular and precise.

Leo suns, ily. You love with every fiber of your being and your affection does not go unnoticed. You guys also don't play around when someone you love gets hurt. On so many occasions, I can remember you guys dropping whatever you're doing and ready to stand up for me and for that, I'm forever grateful🥺

Side note though, when you're mad don't forget to say I love you or something bc you guys get scaryyyyy (I be forgetting you get so mad BECAUSE you love me but geez go easy on my cancerian self) And I noticed that they love to toy around with warm-coloured highlights in their hair (namely reds and blondes)

Virgo placements, namely sun, are not the "neat freaks" everyone makes them out to be and by no means am I saying that they're not. Rather than having a spotless environment, virgoans have a special means of product placement that suits their needs and no one else is supposed to understand it. Me for example, as a virgo rising I can say that my room is a complete mess for those who don't understand the way my mind works. However, if you were to ask me where a particular item is stored, I could find it almost immediately. "Methodical mess" is the name of the game.

Secondly, I notice that virgos, regardless of the person they're interacting with (in-person), tend to almost "size up" the other person they're speaking with, gradually warming up and interacting once they've taken note of the individual regardless of how long they've been known.

As a virgo rising, I can openly admit that I have a rbf problem, sadly. My whole life I've been asked if I'm ok all the while my rbf is a sign that I'm focused and alert, actively scanning my surroundings. I promise I'll converse if initiated😔 also, the whole thing about this placement appearing younger is so true in my case. People always assume I'm at least 2-3 years younger

Libra suns, as a libra moon, you guys just get me. Whenever I speak with you, I feel like I don't even have to finish my sentences, you know how I feel. You guys are down to earth and understand my absolute need to play devil's advocate when it comes to pretty much any decision I have to make in my life. What I will say in contrast though is that you guys know what you're doing when you try to guilt trip me. It hurts me when you guys play the victim, genuinely like can we just talk all level-headed and calmly?

Aries suns give off child-like energy in the best way possible. When hanging out with them, you'll always find yourself somewhere you never thought you'd be. As fun as it can be, they are also very stubborn with seemingly all the wrong things like I wouldn't suggest a heavy coat if it weren't -20°C outside???

6H Uranus is prone to have a routine that is perceived as unusual/unconventional to others. People may outwardly express their confusion and try to make them conform to their method (i.e sporadic cleaning over the course of a couple days).

Taurus suns and honestly earth suns altogether are such a vibe. You guys are almost down for whatever, especially taking a liking to anything outdoors. I love walking around and chatting about life with you guys.

Cancer suns I feel can be a hit or miss. I find that the majority of those I've met, tend to exhibit introverted traits whether they are or not. They're very timid individuals that is until they're not and they're great friends to just walk in silence with. As for those who never did "warm up", they seem very sweet but it just ends up as me feeling like I'm talking too much and just going quiet abruptly 🧍🏽‍♀️

2H moon 🫱🏽‍🫲🏾 shopping spree to release stress, sadness

Scorpio suns are such sweethearts, so kind and so giving. You guys are the type of friends who will patiently listen as you pour your heart out to them. So patient and gentle

Water sun, air moon can be a dangerous combo. The native is sensitive and harbours many emotions though the air moon prevents them from truly being able to feel them out. This makes them more inclined to have a breakdown which, from others perspectives may appear random. Try journalling or even video diaries to candidly speak about your emotions (at least that's what helps me cope since I struggle so deeply with speaking).

[robin-the-enby]

Hey! I see that your requests are open and would you be okay doing a Judd birch x reader where they get into an argument but with a happy/fluffy ending? Love your writing btw !💜

Fuck you!

Pairing: Judd Birch x reader

Summary: Judd is brash and secretive. And you're used to that. But one day, he takes it too far.

Warnings: swearing, arguing, maybe ooc! Judd

A/N: Words cannot describe how excited I was to finally get to this request! I love this edgy boy with all my heart and it's fantastic to see people wanting content with him! Anyway, I tried to make the argument so that it wouldn't be only one person's fault, because that is rarely the case in a relationship I think. Enjoy!

."Fuck you!"

You screamed, stomping out of Birchs' home and striding fast right to your bike, that you leaned against the wall of their garage when you arrived.

You decided to glance at the doorway, which you left wide open in your anger. He wasn't even following you, you thought to yourself. But at the same time, that was Judd Birch for you.

Agent of chaos.

Anarchist.

The most mysterious guy in your school. And the one you fell for and he for you. At least that's what you hoped. At first you thought his bad boy appearance was only a façade. But as you got closer, you realized just how wrong this first impression was. He was just as dark and cynical behind closed doors as he was in public. Perhaps that's what attracted you to him even more. Finally an independent, out of the box thinking individual who wanted nothing else than to see the world burn.

He never showed any sign that he liked you. And yet, when you asked him out, a dare given to you by your friend, he surprisingly agreed. Your first date wnt well, albeit a trip to a car wreck in the middle of the woods was a bit unusual. But you enjoyed it and it seemed Judd didn't seem to mind your presence as well, so you mutually agreed to keep seeing each other. And the rest was history.

He was never one for showing affection, but he still had his ways of showing you that he cared about you. For example, the way he put an arm around your waist if someone was being creepy or the unique dates he and his raccoons would organize for the two of you. It was these moments that you knew there was something going on in that genius mind of his.

You understood from the moment you two made your relationship official, that being with Judd would not be a regular relationship. He wasn't the type of person that would open up about his emotions or thoughts on his own and sometimes not even if prompted or asked. He wasn't kind or caring in a traditional way. Still, you hoped in those specific ways he would change at least a little bit over time. Maybe, just maybe, he would grow more comfortable around you and would trust you more the longer you were together. So you waited.

And waited.

And waited.

For six months you waited for him to open up and he never did. Not once. And despite knowing you had no right to rush him and that some poeple took time before they were comfortable with their significant other, you couldn't help but feel...frustrated.

Yet, you didn't want to stress your boyfriend, so you kept your frustration to yourself. You doubted that if he didn't want to open up to you he would want to talk about this.

So you continued on with your life, handling school, family life and your relationship like usual. Today you especially looked forward to the afteroon, because you were going to Judd's place. You loved hanging out at Judd's. His parents were...odd, but charming, and they liked you, which was a plus. And Judd's room was the greatest hang out spot. You loved to just lay on his bed, a raccoon curled up on your lap or stomach and listen to Judd work on his manifesto. Sometimes he would share what he was writing about and that led to the best long philosophical conversations, something you treasured very much.

But it seemed today your boyfriend was not in the mood. He was not working on his manifesto, no, he was tinkering with something at his table. You automically layed down on his bed and immediately a racoon climbed through the window, hobbled to you and fell flat on the bed against your side. You reached down and pet its head while sighing in content. It has been a long day for you and you were glad to finally be at peace. And after a while you made the grave mistake that caused all this, you asked "Whatcha working on?"

"What's it to you bitch?"Judd shot back. Now, you were used to him calling you derogatory names, usually it had a softer context, hell, sometimes, in more heated situations you even liked it, but now it just seemed...mean. You were confused "Wel sorry mr. Secretive, didn't mean to invade your privacy." you retorted sarcastically. Judd just scoffed, but didn't say anything. "Ok, what's gotten into you?" you sat up, the raccoon next to you looking up at you, because it didn't feel your hand on its head anymore.

"Nothing, leave me alone." your boyfriend growled. You sat up, crossing your legs, the raccoon shifting and snuggling into your thigh "Wanna tell me what's wrong?" Judd slammed his hands on the table "Are ou deaf or stupid?!" he shouted. "Well sorr for trying to solve this like a normal person." you drawled. "The only thing you're doing is being a basic bitch." he scoffed. You shrugged your shoulders and threw your hands up "If you're not in the mood, you could've just said so, instead of being so bitchy."

"You're so pathetic." Judd shook his head. That pissed you off. "And you're insufferable!!" You jumped from the bed, yelling. The racoon jumped up in fright, disappearing quickly again through the window. Judd looked surprised for a second, before a dark frown grew on his handsome face "What do you mean?" he growled.

"Don't you see what I'm trying to do here? Did ou even notice anytime I tried to talk to you? Tried to ask your opinion? Tried to get you to open up to me, like a partner should? Did you ever think that it's beccause I care about you?" you spew out, arms gesturing wildly. You took a shak breath, continuing in a calmer matter "I know you don't like to talk. I know I can't push you to anything. I know I don't have the right to. But sometimes, sometimes I feel like you, feel like you're not even triyng. But I care about you so, so much. So much that it hurts."

You thought maybe, maybe this was the moment that would open his eyes, that this would be the end of this unnecessary argument.

"You're so stupid."

And that was the only answer you got. The chalice overflowed. You stomped out of the room, muttering a Go fuck yourself... Judd's way.

And that's how you ended up here. Your tears blurred our vision, which made our journey home quite dangerous, since you were on a bike. You tried to wipe your eyes angrily while trying to maintain your balance. Suddenly, the roaring of a car engine could be heard behind you. Great, just what I needed, you thought. Luckilly, the car decided to pass you.

Except that it wasn't just any car. But you realized that only when it decided to randomly stop right in front of you, almost making you crash into the back of it with your bike. You could recognize the car anywhere, especially when its owner picked you up from school with it so many times. Judd.

He climbed out of the car, the scowl stil on hi face. But the look in his eyes screamed quiet guilt. "(Y/N), listen," he started, but ou had enough. Now he wanted to talk? "No, shut the fuck up Birch." you snapped at him and tried to get past him on your bike. But Judd grabbed your arm, making you lose your balance. Before you could hit the ground, Judd caught your upper half, making your bike awkwardly tumble to the ground, your legs tangling up in it.

"Wait you dumbass." Judd said and looked down. But before you could get mad at him, he slowly looked you at you and said "I'm...sorry...that I was an asshole." You were shocked. Never before have you heard Judd apologize to anyone and ou didn't think him to be the tpe to do so. That's why you couldn't help but stare at him with an open mouth. "Stop gaping at me like a fish and say something!" your boyfriend growled.

You shook your head "Right, sorry, I just...nevermind. Anyway, I'm sorry too. I don't want to push you into doing something you don't want. But I think I got anxious. We seriously need to talk about these things, as lame as it may sound to you." you shrugged. "It's not lame, I'm just...I don't have any excuse. I swear I'll try." Judd said and pulled you into a tight hug, which you gladly returned. Judd smirked "Besides, the racoons are more disciplied since we're together." You laughed and punched him in the shooulder lightly "You're a dumbass."

"Yeah, I guess."

[naffeclipse]

I feel like I might have had the wrong reaction to “The Lost Episode” because the whole time, I was just like:

(But also my heart ripped out at the realization that y/n won’t ever see the sun again ;; at least they still have their Sun)

I owe you so many comments on your fics, and I’m so sorry for taking this long to get to them 😭 Maybe I should make my New Year’s resolution leaving comments on all the fics I haven’t gotten to. I promise I will get to loving on each of them eventually! 💜 It’ll give me a good excuse to binge read new fic and reread some other fics hehe

Also, I have a bit of a research question for SJ for reasons 👀 I might have missed it while reading the series, but is there a time estimate for how long it took Moon and Sun to join the police academy after they left the daycare and Eclipse began running around with gangs? And when would you say Eclipse rose to power and became a mob boss? Were Sun and Moon detectives by that point or still a lower rank?

Typing that out just made me curious about how Eclipse did become a mob boss and how he got a gang, and I’m restraining myself from sending you a bunch of lore questions. So I’ll just imagine him sending out fliers with his face printed on them and a caption that promises a competitive base salary. Just ignore the super fine small print that says there are no health benefits with this job

Hope you had a nice holiday as well, Naff! You’re a freaking powerhouse with all the writing you’ve been getting done, so I hope you’re taking care of yourself and resting too! Much love <3

PFFFT LUMI!!! Nah, I love all reactions, it fuels me and I'm glad you enjoyed hehe ♥

No, don't apologize!! I get it! I'm behind on reading/commenting on fics, too ;-; but ahhh, I do look forward to when you do comment!! You always leave such nice ones ♥

Oh ho! Research you, say? I am gazing directly at you, Lumi!

Okay, I'm really bad with timelines and dates so I'll try my best to keep this coherent and hopefully non-contradictory with the main storyline!

15 years after the boys left the daycare, Sun and Moon were finally able to join the police academy while Eclipse was digging deeper into gang activity. Now mind you, Sun and Moon were attempting to join the academy much earlier, but due to politics and human-animatronic relations still being tense despite animatronics being legally recognized as individuals with rights, they were discriminatorily barred from joining the program. It took Eclipse calling in favors, owing a favor or two himself, and offering a lot of bribes to those in charge of the program to get Sun and Moon in. At that current time, Eclipse was climbing the ranks. He was gaining a reputation and a name for himself, but he was still a thug working under someone else's command.

Eclipse didn't control his own gang until after Sun and Moon were detectives and after the Afton Family's fall, but by then, the brothers weren't in contact with each other. Learning that big brother was a crime lord was something the detectives discovered in their work. It was disappointing, but not surprising—just a lot to think about piled on top of everything else.

Fun fact! Eclipse killed his gang leader and took the man's gang for himself. It happened after he learned the crime lord was conspiring against him (funny enough, this was due to others looking towards and being loyal to Eclipse due to his ruthlessness and efficiency, which spooked the gang leader so he thought it would be wise to act preemptively, but ah, Eclipse was not amused to see his loyalty repaid with betrayal.) Eclipse had no qualms with reigning in control and very little resisted his takeover. Eclipse did take care of those who stay loyal to him, but he ran a tight ship. Great risk, great reward.

Wow, sorry, I just went on a ramble there, but I hope that helps answer your questions! But you're absolutely right, there are no health benefits in Eclipse's gang. *Shrek voice* They don't even have dental.

Thank you, I hope you had a nice holiday as well! Ahhh, thank you so much! I've been taking breaks, don't worry, babe! ♥ Much love *smooch ya on the head*