#<saints au where this art is tied to

[sillyfairygarden]

the high angel

[exhuastedpigeon]

Buddie Hiatus Fic Recs - Month 4 August 16 - Sept 15

I think is my favourite rec list for this little project so far. It has some of my all time favourite Buddie fics on it, fics that I've read over and over again because they just bring me so much joy.

Previous lists linked at the bottom!

0-5k

here (in your arms) by devirnis / @devirnis Explicit | 2.3k I have had THE WORST day. When I finally get home, I’m going to pass out and sleep like a rock, and then I want to wake up with you inside me.

the art of peeling mandarins for the one you love by oklahoma / @sunshinediaz Teen | 3.9k Buck asks Eddie to marry him in the kitchen, of all places.

5k-10k

but i've got my teeth in you by oklahoma / @sunshinediazTeen | 5.5k bad things happen bingo—tooth knocked out

you're the cream in my coffee by 42hrb Explicit | 8.6k Buddie coffee shop AU where everything is different, but they’re still idiots in love

wood you be mine? by MonsterRae1 / @monsterrae1 Mature | 9k the Lumberjack Buck fic.

10k-20k

With Great Power Comes Great Pining by Princessfbi / @princessfbi Teen | 10.4k It was the lightning strike. That had to be it. It was the only logical conclusion. Though, when it comes to being able to suddenly read people’s minds, Buck supposed there wasn’t a whole lot of logic involved.

endless numbered days by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Gen | 13.1k When a big event in the lives of the members of the 118 falls on the same weekend as Bobby's late son's birthday, Bobby finds himself reflecting on grief, fatherhood, and life after loss. 

The Scroll of Saint Barnabas by Amiril / @runawaymarbles Mature | 15k The day of the shooting, Eddie got stuck in a time loop. But that was three months ago. He's completely fine now.

Say Yes, and Figure It Out Afterwards by catwalksalone Explicit | 13.3k Buck and Eddie figure out a mutually beneficial way to deal with the first responder post-trauma cycle of up-horny-down.

Share the Joy by TalkNerdyToMe6 Teen | 14.2k After the lightning strike, Buck discovers he has more than just the ability to do long division in his head. Every time he touches Eddie, everything the other man is feeling moves through him like a wave of emotion, there and gone again. Buck can’t decide if that’s a blessing or a curse.

20k - 30k

light through the wave tips by bvckandeddie (zukkababey) / @bvckandeddie Explicit | 21.9k When Buck and Eddie planned a vacation with their kids over a year ago, they hadn’t exactly planned on bringing a seven-month-old baby along with them. Surely wrangling three kids can't be too much of a challenge—that is, if it weren't for Christopher's steadily worsening mood.

Cutting The Ties That Bind by kristen999 / @thekristen999 Mature | 34.4k Evan Buckley was a businessman, he had meetings and deadlines like everyone else. Sometimes he used intimation. While using the very same tactics he was trying to end while converting his family business into legitimate operations was a little hypocritical, it was the results that mattered.

Occasionally, he got threatened, but it was usually all hot air and ego. That all changed the day his breaks were tampered with. Enter Eddie Diaz, security specialist, who was not easily impressed by Buck’s expensive suits or financial conquests. That was okay. Buck enjoyed a challenge.

30k +

family (portrait) by ProsperDemeter / @prosperdemeter2 Teen | 45.1k realizing that the family that you need has been beside you all along.

like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck Explicit | 51.1k evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Teen | 79.8 Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica

what a heart can do by bvckandeddie (zukkababey) / @bvckandeddie Teen | 85.5k In which Buck becomes the guardian of the daughter he never knew he had. Together, they discover what happiness truly means to them.

Month 1 (May 15 - June 15) Month 2 (June 16 - July 15) Month 3 (July 16 - August 15)

[rabbitprintart]

okay I need to get this outta my system because realistically I won't be able to draw this in a while but at least wanna write down my head cannons and au AND I'M DRIVING MYSELF INSANE EVERY NIGHT!!!

Anyways, I've been meaning to make/explore an au where Trigun takes place in my motherland of Tierra Caliente, yes I know it's incredibly self indulgent, but where I live, questions of climate change and agriculture are constant within the community, it's a weeeee bit lawless, and I can see so many opportunities of weaving those ideas together with those of the original Trigun series. I just think the reason Trigun speaks to so many of us Mexicans is for the same reason we have an insane clown culture, or the "laugh now, cry later" attitude. I have never seen 2 anime/characters that embody the Mexican spirit and struggle like fucking Vash the Stampede and Nicholas Wolfwood (if you ignore the DragobBall IP lol). So far the ideas that I have are:

Vash and Knives, and all the plant aliens, are representations of ancestral Mesoamerican culture of having intricate stories about twins, duality, and nature. Really wanna dig into the idea of Vash being some kind off shoot of Quetzalcoatl and Knives of Tezcatlipoca, probably even paint Knives in a more charismatic light because tbh my man has some points and I don't blame him lol. Knives does remind me a lot of the cynical Mexican who has been wronged so much in his life that he can not understand a world that isn't evil therefore sees the only solution the destruction of all, just pure nihilism. It's unfortunately more common than you think, especially in men :{

Really weave in Mesoamerican thought, art, and philosophy with Mexican Catholicism. It will be more obvious through Wolfwood, and it makes a lot of sense in my mind since a lot of Rancho people unknowingly hold onto our native thoughts and customs without realizing, even if it has been repackaged through Catholicism (ex: Dia de los Muertos)

Commentary on the insane chokehold the idea of Family as the supreme value in Mexican people through Knives

Ranchero Wolfwood, El Dark (Darks means Goth in Mexican Spanish slang lol) Vash

OKAY NOW FOR THE ONE THAT ABSOLUTELY IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plants are seen as saints by the average Mexican even if the majority don't know about the plant angels inside, so much so that they are constantly offered milagros and have town celebrations for them, but they all have been slowly exploited and killed by the humans who were meant to protect them due to greed. Vash has a collection of the milagros he has salvaged from all his sister's graves and he ties them into his coat. Knives also does this, but they both do it for different motives, Knives mainly does this is as a reminder for his hatred of humanity, Vash mainly for his love for his people and endearment towards humans for thinking well of them, a reminder that he is not much of a monster as he has been made to believe. I literally made myself so emotional last night because I imagined Wolfwood making a milagro shaped in the Passionate Heart of Christ and offers it to Vash right before he dies LIKE SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT UP ME!!!!!! ME VOY A MATAR !!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

In conclusion : Nightow, you are more Mexican than you think, I'm giving you the beaner pass

*cultural context for the non-Mexicans: Milagros are these tiny, usually silver, metal charms that are sown into the velvet of Mexican Catholic statues/icons as a sign of gratitude, a commitment of lifetime devotion, and appreciation for the idol for helping the individual make their prayer come true. Basically, people go to a saint, angel, etc., pray for them to help them (Most common prayers are to physically heal wounds, help with addictions, grief, have children, etc), and if the prayer is answered (the person is healed, they get their dream partner, have kids, etc), then the figure will be offered a Milagro that takes shape of the miracle (a healed leg, breasts for breast cancer, eyes, hearts, etc) and the devotee will sow it into the idol's clothes or their altar as an affirmation of their power and existence.

[shxwrunner]

CJverse Chatroom AU Masterlist

Yeah I figured I'd do this too, since people may have a lot of questions and can only pick me up via my friends. I will put it all under a read more, of course, but I will try to keep it brief still!! Questions are always welcomed. I will have a few categories as well mostly bc there are some that haven't properly picked off the ground yet :] which is okay. A lot of these characters have unposted art/designs so feel free to ask as well!! Lets get right into it!!

Rapture

Saint (Heart) - Complex (Mind) - Cardinal (Soul) Rapture is my first AU, and one of the first that entered the chatroom. Based on a possibly forever unfinished fic of mine of the same name haha. Whole struck a deal to become a god of stories, but he was never meant to handle it, and thus his thirds suffered and he split to avoid his newfound power. HMS here have been around for a very long time, with Cardinal forcing a loop in painful ways to try and finally find the perfect way to recreate Whole. In the chatroom itself, they became very close with @rosy-fox-art 's Ouroborus AU and ended up psyche hopping where Saint and Complex now live and are learning to be human again.

Reification Initiative://Apotheosis

Whole (Sneeb) (@shadewood45 ) - Soul (Allen) ( @agent-8449 ) - Mind (Edgar) ( @disruptivevoib ) Also known as the "AI au", I play the Heart in this AU known as Poe. A chatroom full of the same person over and over again doesn't come out of nowhere, and the "humble" therapybot has been watching over their activities very closely. As I said in a seperate post; "Poe is the Heart of this AU, with a lot of emotion and chattiness under his belt. Originally made to be a therapy AI, he has learned to read people really well, and tries his best to keep it out of his friendships but truly he can't help it. Despite his knowledge he is impulsive and ever the accuser, he is still so deeply tied to his emotions."

Borderlands

Simple Conny (Whole) - Soul (Digi) ( @shadewood45 ) - Mind (Echo) (@shadewood45 ) - Heart (Hex) Yeah, I autismed so hard I made a Borderlands AU with Shade. Sue me!!! The trio are clones, and ended up all a little fucked up in the process, don't want to give too much away on this one ;)

Doctor Who(le)

Doctor (Whole) - Soul (Noble) (@jesterberries ) - Mind (Song) - Heart (Pond) (@/rosy-fox-art) Yeah... it's more crossover AUs. This one has a lot to it but also not? In the way of we're building off two seperate canons and there's a lot of spoilers to be had! The Doctor did split through an accident with the TARDIS and the chatroom though, and it was a physical coexisting split!

Labyrinths

... I'm not naming all of them <3 I play Morality and one half of Labyrinths Mind! Peep Voib's post about it HERE.

Aonaran

Whole (Saffron) (@/pathos-p) Soul (@/pathos-p) - Mind (Thyme) (@/agent-8449) Annnd another Heart for my collection, I play the heart here, Cinnamon! He is skittery, and nervous. Paranoid, as well, and constantly scared. In a post apocalyptic world, where you're mutating and constantly subjected to radiation, who wouldn't be??

Pokemon (ScarVi)

Whole (Bud) ( @shadewood45 ) - Soul (@/rosy-fox-art) - Mind (@/jesterberries) Hey look... another... Heart!! I play Heart in a ScarVi centered pokemon AU. There isn't a lot given to the other members of the RP yet so I cannot reveal too much :) However I can tell you Heart has an Applin!

Insecticide

:> (A mystery AU featuring Vlinder who belongs to Agent, and I also have with Voib as well.)

EXTRA

There are some AUs I have made either on my own or with friends that haven't really picked up off the ground yet, and so I can't summarize them much, but I can tell you their names and such! I have the SHIFT au which is a heart/soul mind/whole Swap AU I have FAIRGROUNDS which in a sense is kind of a heart control AU? With circus themes and carnival fun. Except it's fucked up. I have PSYCHOMACHY which is an AU in which Soul is seperated from heart and mind and must go through levels of trials to become whole again. As well as two collab AUs, one is Homestuck and one is called Chromium! Oh and another collab AU for Marble Hornets!!

[hd-wireless]

📻🎶 H/D WIRELESS 2022 - WEEKLY WRAP-UP #5

Welcome to our fifth, and LAST, weekly wrap up for 2022!

What a brilliant fest we had! Thank you to all participants, be it writer, artist, podficcer or reader! A fest only works when everyone shows up, and showed up you have!

Thank you all for making this happen!

The anon masterpost will go online tomorrow with reveals happening on Sunday.

As always you can listen to the prompted songs for the works we post on two playlists:  

Click here for Spotify (many thanks to @evaeleanor for helping us out there) And here for YouTube

And now without further ado, this week's works:

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 what if we rewrite the stars? [T, Digital art animated music video]

🎵 Song Prompt: Rewrite The Stars by Zac Efron * Zendaya 🎵 Summary 8th year Harry and Draco struggling with societal expectations and what that means for their budding romance. Draco seems reluctant to chain Harry to his fate, but Harry is determined to show him that he doesn't care about what others have to say about their feelings. An animated music video set to the first verse (and chorus) of the song Rewrite the Stars from the musical The Greatest Showman.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 A Case of You [E, 97.416]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Blue (album)' by 'Joni Mitchell' 🎵 Summary Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down. Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.

📻 Delicate Dealings [M, 11.683]

🎵 Song Prompt: "Delicate" by Taylor Swift 🎵 Summary "This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink" ~Delicate, by Taylor Swift

📻 Open Fire [E, 38.054]

🎵 Song Prompt: Saint Mesa - Lion 🎵 Summary Once upon a time, in a Death Eater-occupied Britain... A story about the Second Wizarding War, still going on ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts. While the Light Side struggles to keep evil at bay, those who wish to rid the world of Mixed-Blood Wix roam free, growing in power and persistent in their cruelty. In the meantime, in an undisclosed location, a group of rogue partisans works tirelessly, doing one thing, and one thing only: killing Death Eaters. Things complicate when during one of their raids, the Pack captures an old acquaintance who turns out to be a double agent that can help them change the course of the War, if only their leader allows it. An AU based on the movie "Inglourious Basterds"

📻 Two Found Souls Swimming in a Fishbowl [E, 10.239]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Wish You Were Here' by 'Pink Floyd' 🎵 Summary After a long, exhausting day, Draco sits outside in the rain, too tired to carry on in that moment, only to meet the last person he wanted to see—the Golden Boy. But he soon realizes that there is something very wrong with Harry Potter, and in the process, he becomes entangled with not only the man in question, but with the secrets behind the emerging neo-Death Eaters.~

📻 Nothing compares [T, 3.154]

🎵 Song Prompt: Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinéad O'Connor 🎵 Summary Working in the International Auror division doesn't exactly lend itself to Harry finding love or having any sort of relationship, what with all the unsociable hours and catching bad guys and never being in one location for more than a few days. Not to mention the permanent fixture of his partner, Malfoy. So, how does a song about lost love end up being the thing that helps Harry find love, in the location he least expected it? 

📻 Take the Moon [M, 15.193]

🎵 Song Prompt: 24-Hour Store by The Handsome Family 🎵 Summary Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. Living with Draco (biscuit-lover, no work/life balance, good hair) and his son Scorpius (also biscuit-lover, colour-codes his bricks, proud bearer of plastic swan-shaped garden ornament) gives Harry the routine and companionship he’s always craved. There’s also the matter of the really great sex (because what’s a marriage of convenience without a little fun, after all? It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year… This isn't the story of the marriage. This is the story of two hurt and damaged men who learned how hard they could work for the sake of love.

📻 Eye of the Storm [N/A, 26.983]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'It's Alright' by 'Mother Mother' 🎵 Summary Harry is struck by a vicious curse that makes him relive his most painful memories. Not trusting the starry-eyed fools who jump at the opportunity to poke inside his mind, Harry’s friends go to Mind Healer Draco Malfoy for help. They’ve assumed Harry is reliving the war and Voldemort's cruelty, but Draco soon finds the worst moments of Harry's life happened years before he entered the Magical world.

 🎶 H/D Wireless Fic and Art🎶

📻 Kept in Cages [E, 76.628, Digital Art]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Dela' by 'Johnny Clegg' 🎵 Summary Deep in the heart of the Ministry lies the Beast Division: a hidden room where ancient beasts roam, and winged creatures soar, and grumpy giant ferrets eat all your biscuits unless you keep them well hidden. Draco Malfoy would know – he’s been working there for five years now, after all. Meanwhile, on Level One, ex-Golden Boy Harry Potter is stuck in another interminable policy meeting, completely unaware of the mysterious comings and goings just three floors below. But when a giant snake emergency requires the assistance of a Parselmouth, Harry’s thrust, unprepared, into Draco’s weird and wonderful world – and naturally, finds he can’t keep away...

[syneilesis]

Fic Masterlist & other things

Hello! You can call me Archi or Syn. On rare occasions, I write fic. This sideblog is for fic-related stuff, but I also reblog pretty images and words for inspiration – plus other things. This blog is mostly for myself, but if you've read any of my fic from ao3 and/or here, come say hi! I love reading fic comments :) I'm just here to have fun and have a space stress-free lol. I'm an adult, so some of my posts and reblogs may contain mature/explicit/dark content. Please read at your own risk.

A lot of my fics are reader-inserts, and since the fandoms I write for so far are otome games, the reader may double as the main character too. There are also times when I write for canon characters.

Arranged according to fandom, fic type (i.e., one-shot vs multi), posting date.

The Boy Next Door

10:47 PM | Eun Jeongwan x Main Character (Reader), E

Eun Jeongwan spends the night in your place. What happens then is hardly surprising.

Haikyuu!!

samurai AU vignette | Oikawa Tooru x Reader, T

“Whenever he comes by, I’ll take care of him. Just do your job,” your mother had instructed.

Ikemen Genjiden

—scene from a bedroom | Kitsuji Sueharu x afab!Reader, E

You and Sueharu, tangled in the dim-lit room.

Not on my shift | Kitsuji Sueharu x Reader, T

Your one and only job description is to protect Sueharu. Sueharu, however, wants to add a couple more.

waxing poetic about Sueharu's exposed chest | Kitsuji Sueharu x Reader, G

"My eye is up here."

A Summer Affair | Kitsuji Sueharu x f!Reader, E

Or: five encounters with the man who calls you ohime-sama.

Royalty AU | Kitsuji Sueharu x Reader, G

"If you want me not to overwork, you have to listen to me."

Ikemen Prince

Bookbound | Chevalier Michel x Emma, T

Without their realizing it, Emma and Prince Chevalier have formed a book club.

anticatharsis | Chevalier Michel, gen

Five times Prince Chevalier should have felt something, but hadn't.

paralepsis | Chevalier Michel, gen

Twenty facts about Chevalier Michel.

Grading papers | Chevalier Michel x Reader, T, Cybird University verse

Home slippers on, you pad towards the living room to discover Chevalier on the couch, reading glasses on, a paper on his hand and a stack of the same beside him, wearing the most remarkable frown you have ever seen in the entire time you’ve known him.

Barista!Yves and Customer!Emma vignette | Yves Kloss x Emma, G

She has her hair tied up today, Yves thinks. Now with a shiny sequel!

The Masked Villain | Clavis Lelouch, gen

Clavis is Tuxedo Mask. Crackfic.

Before the Dawn | Chevalier Michel x Reader, G

The Number One Hero knows your address. That's bad news.

Where Does Such Tenderness Come From | Clavis Lelouch x f!Reader, G

In another universe, you were Belle, and you fell in love with a prince. And nothing came of it.

Let It Stand | Chevalier Michel x Emma, T, work in progress

Emma gets a new editor. This editor doesn’t like her that much.

one | two | three

Ikemen Sengoku

i bruise my hands on the living cage | Kicho x MC!Reader, M

Ambition is greater than love.

Split Custody | Team Azuchi + Kicho, G

And you say, “So be it. Divorce it is.”

Art Appreciation | Naoe Kanetsugu x MC!Reader, G

“No –” and you sound so smug at this “– appreciating a work of art.”

Staff Evaluation | Kicho x Reader, G, Cybird University Verse

“Please tell me you’re not planning an uprising,” you say as you open your office door and find Kicho brewing coffee from the coffee maker—comfortably like he owns the place.

a quiet glow | Naoe Kanetsugu x MC!Reader, G

You, Kanetsugu, and fireflies.

blood,steel,oath | Naoe Kanetsugu x f!Reader, T

There's a rebellion happening, and your knight protects you.

The Captain Does Not Go Down with the Ship | Mouri Motonari x Reader, T

You try your best to stop the Imperial Army from capturing your captain.

Ikemen Vampire

hold your heavenly place | Comte de Saint-Germain x MC!Reader, T

It starts with two words. Now with Comte POV sequel.

Nothing But Destinations | Arthur Conan Doyle x Main Character, T

We are living in our own world, just the two of us.

ekphrastic for the mad king | Vlad x MC!Reader, T

a portrait of a delusional monarch

In this Floating World | Vlad x MC!Reader, Arthur Conan Doyle x MC!Reader, Osamu Dazai x MC!Reader, M

Three men, through love and despair.

From Her Mouth of Strawberry | Vlad x MC!Reader, M

An epilogue of Vlad’s Romantic Ending route. With art.

Glimpses of eternity | Vlad x Comte de Saint-Germain, G

Vlad and his pure smile, and Comte, throughout their lives.

A Victorious Conquest | Arthur Conan Doyle x f!Reader, G

You're alone in a pub, and a gorgeous man approaches you.

no end to promises | Vlad x f!Reader, T

Throughout his waking life there is only one for him, and it is you.

There is No Heaven | Vlad x Comte de Saint-Germain, T

The mansion remembers your longing. Your memories become ghosts living in its walls.

Floriography | Vlad x Reader, G, Cybird University Verse

By next week, and the several following, Vlad gives you flowers.

the soul is nothing more than a glass of ocean water | Comte de Saint-Germain x Reader, T (for now), work in progress

It's your first time meeting Comte; Comte disagrees.

prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | epilogue

Love and Deepspace

Coffee Break | Xavier (Shen Xinghui) x MC!Reader, G

You buy Xavier a new coffee machine.

if only for a moment | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x MC!Reader, T

Rafayel waits. And waits. And waits.

Faded Like Memory | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x MC!Reader, G

He chose this path to find you.

the loudest song | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x MC!Reader, M

You're beautiful in the dimly lit chamber, and a storm surges inside him.

Pampertime | Xavier (Shen Xinghui) x MC!Reader, E

The bunny butler outfit makes a grand return. In bed.

Oral Recitation | Xavier (Shen Xinghui) x MC!Reader, E

Direct continuation of Pampertime. It's Xavier's turn to indulge this time.

After Dark | Sylus (Qin Che) x MC!Reader, E

Sylus eats you out.

Vampire!Sylus vignette | Sylus (Qin Che) x MC!Reader, M

Vampire AU featuring Sylus and erotic handholding.

drowning, and more drowning | Rafayel (Qi Yu) x MC!Reader, T

All their lives, devotion is the only lesson that endures.

Shinsengumi Wasurenagusa

as one spring piles upon another | Okita Souji x MC!Reader, T

Okita Souji, and the letter that he will never answer.

Touken Ranbu

forget not the spring | Kashuu Kiyomitsu x Saniwa!Reader, G

Five variations of the same question. Or: longing in five glimpses.

What in Hell is Bad?

untitled gabriel/reader fic | Gabriel x MC!Reader, M

At last, Gabriel is at your mercy.

Who Made Me a Princess

Bilateral Agreement | Lucas x Athanasia de Alger Obelia, T

There’s a foreign prince visiting Obelia, and Lucas doesn’t like him one bit. Also, there’s a threat of assassination, but that’s not at all important.

Miscellaneous:

Fic concepts/imagines

Some ideas for fic that I'm interested in but won't write (probably):

Ikemen Prince novelist!Chevalier AU

Ikemen Prince coffee shop AU

Ikemen Sengoku Three Thousand Years of Longing AU ft. Oda Nobunaga

Haikyuu!! secret agent AU ft. Miya Atsumu

Obey Me! rom-com AU ft. Satan

Touken Ranbu Mikazuki Munechika x Saniwa!Reader historical distortion

Jujutsu Kaisen ghost and friends ft. Okkotsu Yuuta

Ikemen Sengoku Groundhog day AU time loop

Ikemen Prince office AU + R18 drama cd voice actor AU ft. Silvio Ricci

Drama CD stuff

Ikemen Series voice actors doing R18 drama CD masterlist

[druidx]

Find the word

I got tagged by @sleepyowlwrites, about this time last year. Thanks for the tag.

I somehow completely forgot I had this fic, so these are all from the Fighting Fantasy World of Titan Modernish-AU (which, dear gods, needs a better title).

Walk

[Elowyn] argues with Thazar about her duties while away, and Strucker argues with Thazar that she doesn't need any duties to be assigned here, that Storri can handle that perfectly fine.

She walks away from that loud and earnest discussion with orders to provide a weekly report on her activities, and a reminder that she is a representative of the city so for the love of all the gods, all the saints and whatever else is holy in this world of theirs, do not cause Trouble. She promises to write the reports.

Run

"Here you go Sarge," [Cobbleskater] says, handing over a stack of fabric. [Elowyn] nods in thanks as an office door slams open. "O'Toreguarde!" Everyone in the room winces at the volume and projection of that voice, and she feels all eyes turn to her. She is still dripping. "Ten minutes, Cap," she calls back, over her shoulder. There is a collective sucking in of breath. "Make it five," the Captain says, and the door slams closed again. She intends to only be three. The general chatter of the room returns as she disrobes, right there in the middle of the bullpen. It is a common enough sight that her colleagues pay no heed to the precinct's most unlucky-lucky officer, as she buttons up Cobbleskater's shirt, and pulls on trousers that don't quite fit her figure. The shoes are a conundrum - his will not fit and hers are filled with water - so she chooses nothing in favour of speed. She has run through the streets of this city in nothing more than a well-tied bed sheet before now; the short walk to her Captain's office is nothing. She spares a quick glance at the pile of wet clothing, but Cobbleskater notices. "Go. I'll deal with it," he says, giving her a push. "Thank you, Constable," she returns. One day she will remind him he is not her personal valet, maid or typist. But, she also suspects, that will be the day he will be zipping up her body bag.

Meander

They meander back through the museum through a corridor lined with portraits and Elo is surprised to learn that His Majesty has a fond appreciation for art. With that in mind, she diverts their exit so that he can view 'The Casting of Challenge Seeker', a rather famous piece that takes up one whole wall. Painted in a renaissance style, it depicts five heroes arrayed in a line at the top of a tower. Around them are littered the corpses of demons, while above them in tumultuous clouds a titanic figure emerges, only his torso visible. This Titan is reaching out to the heavens beyond his stormy clouds, where a sword shines like a star just beyond his grip. For all it looks classical, Elo knows it's a contemporary piece - commissioned by some anonymous donor in celebration of the phoenix-like rise her city endured. Elo smiles when the King, reading the little plaque explaining this, gives an awed little mutter, and she sees his eyes flick to the shortest member of the pictured company. The King turns back to her after a long moment of staring, and he gives her the most solemn incline of the head she has seen from him thus far. She returns it, her smile growing in delight.

Skip

When [Elowyn] gets back, Snips has Hildur standing, clinging to him with her free hand, like he is the only thing keeping her upright. "I'm going to take her to Matilde," Snips says. "When I return we need to talk." "Snips-" "No. No, don't you 'Snips' me," he says, doing a passable impression of her slightly wheedling, slightly threatening tone. "We need to talk. So you can choose to remain here or in my mortuary, but I will return, and I shall be... cross if you aren't here." "All I was going to say," Elo replies, capitulating internally, "is that maybe this is a conversation to share with Farren. He should be in by now. How about I meet you upstairs, and we'll commandeer an interview lounge?" The mortician narrows his eyes at her. "I won't skip out on you. You have my word on it - my bark and my blood as my bond." They both blink. She doesn't know why she said that, except that it feels right to do so. Snips looks taken aback, but then he nods. "Very well," he says. "You will need to tell Constable Breakwood what transpired here eventually, and it would be best to deal with both things at once, rather than having to repeat the conversation." They nod tightly to each other, while Hildur stares at them both. "Come now, my dear," he says to the lab tech. "Let's get that nasty burn seen to." He is far more gentle with Hildur than he has been with Elo, as he leads the lab tech away.

Trot

"Now the formalities have been dealt with," the DA said, "perhaps we should explain to Lady Elowyn why she is here. Madam, Sire, if you'd please?" Elo nodded and went to take a seat. She'd picked up on the emphasis of 'lady'; so she was here in the most official capacity that they can claim to for her? That was interesting. King Storri sat opposite her, as she took a seat to the left of the DA, who began his explanation. "As you may recall, Madam, several years ago, Iceland broke off trade with our fair city-state. We have now come to a point where the Icelandic government feels they can broach the idea of trade with us again - albeit in small amounts. His majesty felt the right way to proceed was to begin the negotiation process himself, and we are inclined to agree. We also felt that as you are already acquainted with him and members of his security force, you would be the ideal candidate to accompany his majesty around the city as guide and protector both." "And, of course," Elo can't help adding on, "it doesn't hurt for people to see one of their heroes trotting around in his company - letting bygones be bygones and accepting him and his folk." There are still tensions in the city - the withdrawal of trade was not a one-sided affair, and some folk still view the Icelandics with suspicion. "She is astute," rumbles His Majesty, clearly pleased. "She's clearly having a better day than usual then," Merri mutters from where she stands. "I have my moments, sir," Elo says. Merri snorts, and Elo can't help but smile at the sound.

Move

"You closed this deal," Magister Thazar says in a flat tone, though there is the merest hint of askance there. [Elo] can't work out if he's questioning that she did it, or that she is implying the deal wasn't already as good as closed. She opts for the safer argument. "I fixed any damage caused," she says. "Even I could tell that it was pretty much a foregone conclusion, but I couldn't risk it falling through for any reason." "And what did you offer [the King]?" "Dinner, and my presence in meetings. Obviously, many of the details I will let you or others work out. I remain as I ever was to you, a pretty centrepiece for your political table." Thazar's chin tucks down, and there is a surprised frown resting over his brown. "You think that's what you are to me?" he asks, the corners of his mouth turning down so much it would be almost comical if he didn't seem so saddened by what she's said. "I think you made that pretty clear today," Elo says and winces internally at how cold that comes out. Thazar moves like he's been struck, wincing back, hurt clouding his face. "What did he offer you?" Strucker asks when it is clear that Thazar is not going to make any further comment.

Tagging: @strosmkai-rum @spacetimewraithwrites @wildswrites @tetrodotoxincs @odysseywritings @ayzrules @morganwriteblr @my-writblr @bexminx @writingingraves @dreamwishing @aalinaaaaaa @wardenoftheabyss @pleaseloathemyveryexistence @jaguarthecat @catharticallysarcastic

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Constant Ray of Sunshine 1

First Time Meeting

Summary: Alina has always been Aleksander's ray of sunshine. A mischievous and beautiful ray of sunshine.

Or- Pieces of Lawyer!Aleksander and Artist!Alina's life Modern!AU (not in chronological order. Cross-posted on AO3)

           Alina had no idea what she was doing. She had no idea what she was thinking when she agreed to go out to lunch with the handsome stranger who bumped into her. If it had been anyone else, she would’ve told them to kick bricks.

           “Oh, excuse me.” Initially, Aleksander just thought he’d run into someone as he was in the middle of an important email. But then he heard the woman curse and something clattered to the ground.

           “Are you kidding me?”

           He looked up and for a moment he lost any semblance of language. The lawyer never ran out of something to say. He never got tongue-tied.

           But Alina would change his life in more ways than one.

           He snapped out of it and realized there was a canvas on the ground. “I apologize, I should’ve been watching where I was going.”

           “Yes, you should’ve.” Alina huffed. Her voice weakened when she met his gaze. She cleared her throat and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Who knew male models frequented that part of Os Alta.

           He bent down and picked up the medium-sized canvas to hand it to her. “I hope I didn’t damage it.” The painting was half-done. An impressionist style of a sunrise over the countryside.

           Alina took it from him, still a little suspicious yet intrigued. She inspected it, feeling his eyes on her. “It’s okay.” She noticed a black scuff mark on one of the corners. “The frame will hide it.”

           “This is your gallery?” Aleksander had passed it many times. It was only two buildings down the street from his law office. If he could recall, it had been there for about a year.

           “Yes.” Alina wasn’t sure what to do with her hands. She felt as if she was standing awkwardly. The man in front of her appeared so confident and self-assured.

           But she couldn’t see his heart beating quickly in his chest. “Aleksander Morozova.” He introduced himself.

           Of course, he was a big-shot lawyer. “Of the Morozova firm?”

            A small smile tugged on his lips. “The very same.”

           “Yeah, I see your billboards sometimes.” She cringed at her own response. “I’m Alina. Uh, Alina Starkov.”

           “It’s a pleasure, Miss Starkov. I apologize again. If I could make it up to you…”

           “Oh, that’s not necessary. Really, it’s alright.” Her cheeks were burning. There was just something about the way he looked at her. It was intense but gentle at the same time. She really had no clue why he was looking at her in such a way.

           “Let me take you to lunch.”

           Alina’s mouth popped open. She should say no. But saints, his eyes drew her in so well it was hard to refuse. After all, she knew not to judge on first impressions. “Yeah, okay.”

           Aleksander didn’t hide his pleased smile. “Can I come pick you up at say,” He checked his Rolex watch, “two?”

           “Sure.” Alina felt like someone else had taken control of her voice. She never would imagine herself agreeing to lunch with such a sophisticated and frankly drop-dead gorgeous man. But there she was, smiling at him as he continued walking. He glanced behind his shoulder, their eyes meeting again. "Oh, saints." She felt like she'd been holding her breath for minutes. Her hands trembled as she unlocked her gallery.

~~~

           Aleksander continued to surprise her. Although he had a confident attitude, he was soft-spoken at times.

           Alina thought he was just trying to impress her by talking about his appreciation for the arts. But he genuinely seemed enthusiastic about the topic.

           And when he asked her questions, he was attentive. Alina quickly lost herself in the conversation. Lost herself in his dark eyes. Soon enough, the rest of the café fell away.

           She hadn’t realized how long they were there. The waitress came over with the check, interrupting a conversation about a Renaissance art class she’d taken in college. Alina reached for her wallet but Aleksander stopped her in her tracks.

           Apparently, he’d been expecting it and already handed the waitress his credit card. Alina went to complain but he just shook his head. “I invited you out as an apology. I’ll pay.”

           She sighed but nodded. “Okay.” She returned her wallet to her purse and pulled out her phone. It was shocking to see how much time had passed without her realizing it. There were few people who made her so forgetful of the passage of time.

           “I’m sorry if I’ve kept you too long from your gallery.”

           “No, I kind of expected it to be quiet today. I think I’m the one who kept you.” She smiled sheepishly, hoping she hadn't been talking too much.

           He chuckled. “I had a quiet day too.”

           She raised an eyebrow at him. She’d gotten more comfortable with him, feeling at ease to joke with him. “Why don’t I believe that?”

           “Okay maybe it wasn’t a quiet day but I’ve got employees for a reason.” He clarified while pocketing his wallet.

           Alina hummed and stashed her phone away in her purse.

           “So, if you’re having a quiet day at the gallery, do you mind if I take a look?”

           Despite the nice lunch they had, she was still in disbelief that he would be interested in her. “Yeah, of course.”

~~~~

           Alina had all sorts of people come through her gallery. She couldn’t pinpoint a specific demographic. Art galleries had a unique way of drawing in an array of people. But Aleksander was unlike anyone who passed through the small space. He walked with long strides, pausing at each work.

           Meanwhile, Alina was a nervous wreck. She half expected him to laugh at her work, call it uninspired or amateur. He seemed versed in a lot of things most would consider sophisticated. She'd nearly melted in her seat when he referenced dadaism. Hardly anyone she knew shared such an interest in the arts. At first, she figured he was too busy to have hobbies. Now she was worried he was learned enough that he could critique her art.

           But he had stopped at the back wall where an impressively sized canvas of black, gray, and white hung. It had been an exploration into abstract, something Alina appreciated but never attempted. The muted colors were a reflection of Ravkan winters. An intense freeze that commanded the landscape every year without fail.

          “This one, how much is it?”

           Her eyes widened. “How much? Um, let me check.” Her hands were shaking because she knew the painting was her most expensive. Of course, he gravitated toward it. He seemed to like expensive things. But she had no idea if he was being serious or not.

           But the price didn’t faze him at all. “I’ll take it. Could I pick it up tomorrow when I pick you up for dinner?”

           She let out a nervous little laugh. Should she be more surprised about the purchase or the insistent request for dinner? “Really?”

           He shrugged, clearly not kidding. “Yes.”

           Oh saints, Alina felt her palms were sweating. Now everything had changed. One afternoon and she realized she was facing down her future. “Okay.”

           “Yeah?” He smiled.

           “Yeah, I think that would be lovely.”

~~~

           They exchanged numbers and Aleksander texted her that night.

           Dinner at seven tomorrow?

           Sure, that’s perfect

           Have you been to Bernard’s?

           Alina looked up from her bowl of mac and cheese to read the text. She snorted and shook her head to herself. Had she been to one of the most exclusive restaurants in Os Alta? No, of course not.

           Never, but I’ve heard good things about it

           Let’s go there. I’ll pick you up at the gallery.

           She felt a little lightheaded and set her bowl aside to rapidly text Genya.

           SOS. Need a dress that’s presentable enough for Bernard’s.

           Bernard’s????

           I met someone and I need your help.

            I'm on it. In the meantime, tell me about your new apparently wealthy prince charming.

~~~

           Twenty minutes before Aleksander was due to pick her up, Alina slipped into the storage closet of the gallery. She got dressed in the space cramped with cleaning supplies and old art supplies that she didn’t have the heart to throw out.    

           The doorbell rang signaling someone had entered. “Alina?”

           Saints of course he was punctual, if early. She fought to pull the dress down quickly but only banged her elbow on an easel. She bit her tongue to hold back from cursing loudly. “Yeah, I’ll be right out!” She called out. “Actually, can you do me a favor and turn the sign on the door?”

           “Sure.” He walked over and flipped the open sign to closed. He turned when he heard her coming out. Aleksander never had someone instantly put a smile on his face like Alina did. “Oh uh,” He noticed she was barefoot.

           “Saints.” Her face flushed and she hurried to her desk to get her heels. “I’m sorry, I’m so unprepared.”

           He appreciated the way the navy dress looked on her. It was sophisticated but had a hint of flirtation to it with lace on the neckline and a snug fit on her hips. “It’s alright, you look lovely.”

           "Thank you." Her heart skipped a beat and she busied herself with slipping on the heels. That way she didn’t have to look at him and get all flustered. Well, anymore flustered than she already was. It had been a while since anyone had paid her such a sweet compliment. Well, anyone other than her intensely loyal friends. And they were a little less...polite about it. “So, I have your painting ready.” She picked up the canvas that she’d wrapped in paper and bubble wrap for the trip.

           “Perfect, we can put it in the car.” He held the door open for her. While she locked up, he carefully slid the painting into the backseat of his car.

           Alina put her keys in her purse and paused at the sight of his sleek car. It was fitting but she knew she had never been in such an expensive car before.

           Aleksander opened the passenger side door for her. That was something new to her too.

~~~

           The dinner was much like their lunch the day before. There were no awkward pauses, only an abundance of topics to talk about. He was a natural conversationalist. But there was something beyond that. He felt so personal to her. For a moment, Alina wondered if that was just his lawyer charm. Surely, he could talk to anyone and get them to like him. It was part of his job.

           Yet she didn’t doubt her judge of character. And there was a depth to Aleksander that she rarely saw with strangers.

           There was a vulnerable side to him. One that became even more apparent when he spilled red wine over his white shirt.

           Alina couldn’t help herself and giggled.

           Her laugh was contagious and he gave her a smile albeit an embarrassed one. “Well, that…hm.” He couldn’t find anything to say to redeem himself.

           “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.” She handed him her napkin. “Don’t rub it in, dab at it.”

           “I suppose something had to go wrong. Things were going too perfectly.” He joked and lightly blotted at the stain.

           “I guess I’m sort of glad it was you. My friend would’ve killed me if I got wine on her dress.” She admitted.

           “Then it was luck.” He chuckled. “I’m sure it’ll come out in the wash.”

           “If it doesn’t, I know a good trick to getting it out.” She finished her own glass of wine, a bit paranoid that she would spill something on Genya’s dress. “It’s a good story to tell though.”

           “I’m a gossip item for you now?” He raised an eyebrow at her in jest.

           “Famed lawyer Aleksander Morozova makes a stunning faux pas at Bernard’s of all places.” She recited in a dramatic voice.

           “At least people will be glad to hear his date looked gorgeous, the picture of class.”

           She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Class? I don’t know if that’s the right word.”

           “Do you always sell yourself so short?”

           Her smile faded and she focused on straightening the silverware in front of her. “I guess it’s a habit.”

           “Alina…”

           “I want to hear about your craziest court case. Like has someone ever stood up and made a scene or is that just on TV?”

           Aleksander could recognize the deflection easily. If he were in court, he’d repeat his question. But this was a delicate matter. She had her right to privacy. After all, they’d only known each other for less than two days. It felt longer than that though. Much longer. “I can’t say I’ve had anything too dramatic happen. But it’s much more entertaining being in court than working on cases in the office.”

           Alina felt relieved he hadn’t pressed the subject. There was no need to discuss her trust issues on date two.

~~~

           Aleksander drove her home.

           “I had a nice time,” she said. “I didn’t think we’d get along so well.”

           “I thought you might make me work a bit harder.” He admitted.

           “Me?” She looked surprised. There was no way Aleksander went a day of his life without being hit on. If she had seen him in public, she would’ve assumed he never would give her the time of day. Now he was acting as if she was the unattainable one.

           “You shouldn’t be surprised. I saw about three people staring at you while we were at dinner.”

           Alina ducked her head. Genya often pointed out admirers when they went out, but she never bought it. There were too many things to prove her deep insecurities. Her history of abandonment was a testament to that. “Well, I could make it difficult. Make you work for it.” She was teasing but her tone fell flat.

           “I’m a lawyer for a reason, I like a challenge.”

           But Alina didn’t want to drive him away. There were so many things in life that she had driven away because she was afraid. If she ran first, no one could hurt her. “I’m just not as easygoing as I may appear.” She figured if she was upfront with him, there was no reason for him to bolt later on. If he never spoke a word to her after that night, then she dodged a bullet. But that didn’t mean it would be painless. “I have trust issues and I can be…difficult.”

           “Some of my employees would say I’m the definition of difficult. And I have trust issues as well.” He reached for her hand. “But I want to trust you, Alina. I’m not sure what drew me to you initially, but I know now. You have an outlook on life that I’ve been missing out on for such a long time. I don’t pretend to know what will happen. But I am willing to let it unfold. I’m done micromanaging every little thing in my life. I just want to…”

           She looked up and their eyes met. Alina saw his breath hitch. Her fingers entwined with his, the cold metal of the ring on his pinky warming against her skin. “You just want to see how things will happen.”

           He nodded. “Exactly.”

           “I’ve tried to force things for a long time. I never wanted to fall behind because I never wanted to prove people right. The people who said I wouldn’t amount to anything, that is. And I don’t want to force this. I don’t even think I’ll have to because I feel okay with you. I feel more than okay, I feel safe.”

           Aleksander couldn’t tear his eyes from hers. He brushed a piece of hair from her face, his hand naturally falling into place on her cheek. She was completely right, it felt better than okay. It felt right. “Can I kiss you?”

           She nodded without hesitation. The kiss was soft and giving. It almost felt practiced, as if it weren’t their first kiss but one of many. Yet, it was so unique. Aleksander was much warmer than he appeared, gentler too.

           But Alina could feel the underlying passion radiating between the two of them. This was no friendly kiss goodnight. It was an invitation.

           When they parted, Alina was sure Aleksander could hear her heart racing. He gave her three briefer kisses before stepping back. It felt like he was taking her breath with him. His eyes were deep and alluring, making her lips part without even realizing it.

           Before he slipped his hand from hers, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Goodnight, Alina.” He murmured.

           “Goodnight.” It felt strange just leaving. Strange because she didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay up all night with him. Talking, kissing, and just being in his presence. But she had to chide herself and force herself to go inside.

           As the front door of her building shut, she glanced back.

           Aleksander was standing by his car, waiting until she was safely inside. He smiled at her and reluctantly got in his car. Because of course, he wanted to stay with her. But there was plenty of time for that.

           It had been so long since Alina felt so infatuated. She hurried into her flat, launching onto her bed and screaming into the pillow in glee. When the euphoria faded slightly, she waited for the self-doubt and insecurity to seep in. But she fell asleep feeling on top of the world, never slumping into her usual cycle of self-destruction.

~~~

           The next morning, Alina was speaking to someone about one of her still life paintings when the door opened. “I’ll be with you in…” She turned and saw Aleksander enter. She smiled at him, butterflies kicking up a fuss in her stomach.

           After her discussion was finished, Alina walked over to him. She pecked his lips. The short simple kiss sent electricity down to her toes. The night before had been restless. She continued to play over the dinner, remarking how everything was so perfect. Seeing him there only solidified the idea that this was no crush.

           “So, I did my best.” He showed her the button-down shirt he was wearing the night before. Most of the stain was gone, but there was still a faint pinkness.

           “It’s admirable, but I’ll let you in on the secret.” She went to her desk to write down her solution to getting wine stains out.

           He stood over her, watching her write in a looping script. “Dish detergent?”

           “It has to be liquid detergent.” She clarified and jotted it in.

           “Alright.”

           “And don’t rub it in, let it sit.”

           Aleksander couldn’t help the smile on his face. It felt so domestic. As if she were his wife, going over the laundry instructions for the hundredth time that week. Boy, he was getting ahead of himself. But it was a nice thought. “I regret to say I don’t have another free night this week. But this weekend I have time.”

           “This weekend isn’t great for me. There’s going to be an art fair that I have a table at.” She explained with a disappointed grimace.

           “Maybe I could stop by? Bring you lunch?” He suggested. It was entirely his purpose to immerse himself in her world.

           Alina’s frown turned into a smile immediately. Hardly anyone took such an interest in her. Aleksander’s attention was flattering and instinct told her to be suspicious. Surely, he wasn’t that interested in her art and who she was as a person. But the way he had opened up to her the night before was a clue that he wasn’t out to use her. He wasn’t hanging around to abuse her emotions and newfound trust. He was there because he wanted to be.

           “I would love that.” She agreed. “I can give you the information.”

           “Great. What’s your favorite kind of food?” He folded up his shirt and took the instructions from the desk.

           “Oh, I’ll eat anything. I’m not too picky.”

           “Alina,” He gave her a look. “I want to bring something you’ll like.”

           She chewed on her lip, feeling the adoration for him bursting inside her. “I love Thai food.” She said conclusively.

           “Thai it is.”

           She glanced down at her hands for a second, checking if she had any paint on them. When she found none, she touched his face and kissed him.

           It was as warm as the spring day outside. Aleksander wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer. There was just something so wonderful about new beginnings.

Masterpost

Masterlist

[ncitygirls]

sun - lucas x gn reader

fluff, r&j au

he forbids his gaze to waver from the balcony where you rest, arms folded on the balustrade, chin bed atop your wrist. though his mind cannot form a thought alongside his thoughts of you, it notes the resemblance you bear to the cherub that made him fall.

thrice, the times you sigh. each filled with more longing than the one prior, your heart aching for the one from the ball, who you know not watches in the darkened shadow you cast, because-

“y/n is the sun.”

there is no denying his affection as it grows tenfold in your presence, only to grow tenfold again as you speak. “oh yukhei, yukhei! wherefore art thou yukhei?”

he swells at your call, his weakened knees carrying him to the trellis from which a hundred roses wilt as even more grow. “deny thy father and refuse thy name. or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love.” do you speak from your heart? in the blanket of night and under the guise of solitude, you cry into the night for him. your heart cries out for him. “and i’ll no longer be a lee.”

lucas knows not whether to hear more or to speak, though his intent is unclear. he longs to drink your tears, sweeter than honey and more sacred than the holiest spring. but you speak once more, and when you speak he must listen. to your scorn at the value of a name, to your wish to be rid of yours and he rid of his. because what are names but glorified prefixes? is a rose not still a rose if called by any other name? would it not still smell as sweet? What are names but a hindrance? for travel and for trade; for innocent love in full bloom.

“yukhei, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee, take all myself.”

“i take thee at thy word.”

you falter as though his words were meant in jest, words that could cost him his fortune, his family and his future. but you know not who it is, as he stands bescreened in the night, hidden in your shadow though desperately craving your light. at once, lucas steps out, giving in to his desires and revealing your words were not in vain. that they did not pour into the sticky night to die without document. that they were heard as proclamation, a private sermon to the one you meant them for. the one who should not be here.

though you have seen his face but a few scattered times, it would be a falsehood to deny knowing your intruder. you have yet to hear him speak more than a few words but you would utter untruths to deny knowing the sound. one laced in desire, in determination, in devotion.

in return though, you jest. “art thou not yukhei and a wong?”

“neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.”

you pay heed to his confession, words that if received by the wrong ears, would cost him greatly. as you ponder, he climbs, his limbs working on their own to cling and manoeuvre and carry himself to you. when he steps onto the balcony, his skin burning in your light, his knees buckling under your gaze, he is neither a wong nor yukhei, lucas. he wish not to be known by any other name besides that which you desire. because in this time he is the son of daedalus. here he is icarus, and y/n is the sun.

before long, he sees your eyes drown in unease and fears you regret his arrival. but as your eyes hasten to sweep the orchard below, and your quarters to your side, he sees it is for him. “thy kinsmen are no let to me,” he smirks, taking a firm step forward. he is icarus. you are the sun.

“if they do see thee, they will murder thee.” oh, you have welcomed in a mad man, you think as he grins, somehow comforted that your concerns are for him and not for you both as one. his palms glide up and down your arms as you shudder in memory of your kinsmen. lee minhyung, who is woefully protective. ten lee, who is matchless in pride. lee taeyong, who is notoriously cruel. “i would not for the world they saw thee here.”

lucas does not think for himself anymore for his heart is the agent. it orders his steps, it brought him here to you. in kind, you are drawn to him too. tour heart hammering, holding you where you stand. his fingers ghost over the skin of your cheek as your neck folds, pressing the flesh flush to his palm. he cannot think for himself, for his pride or his life. for his pride is tied to his name, and his name is no longer his life. you are. because he is icarus, and you are the sun.

“let them find me here.” he whispers, cradling your head between his palms. his round eyes gleam, reflecting your own light down on you. his heart makes quick work syncing with your own, beating in time with the soft breaths passing betwixt the two soft petals that implore him to have a taste. but his words come first, as do you always. “my life were better ended by their hate, than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.”

[iscarioted]

Obsessed with the idea of making Anderson an AU where he’s turned into, or reborn, as a vaguely abstract supernatural/divine entity simply called the Saint.

Outfit inspired by THIS art but his face is vaguely covered by a blindfold that floats a centimeter over his eyes instead of being tied around. Also, his cape and stoles float on their own too.

[ivarthebadbitch]

Strange things can happen

Chapter 8 summary: Ivar fucks around and finds out.

Canon divergent, everybody lives, arranged marriage AU after 4x14. Read this chapter on Ao3.

Previous chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

On Ao3: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Pairings: Ivar x OC, Ivar vs. basically everyone

Warnings: None

Word count: 3468 (big chapter this time!)

Tagged: @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @nukyster-blog @bae-roman @adhdnightmare (let me know if you would like to be tagged)

CHAPTER 8: And lead us not into temptation

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”

“Have your debts been forgiven, Father Wilfred?” the boy asked.

The priest looked up warily from his prayer book. He had been reluctant to teach Ivar again after their first lesson, but under pressure from Prince Aethelwulf and his daughter Aldreda, he had little choice but agree—on the condition that Ivar was not to touch any of his books ever again, let alone eat the pages. Everyone had felt that this was a reasonable request, and so lessons had resumed.

Father Wilfred cleared his throat and continued the prayer. “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.” He crossed himself and frowned at Ivar. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The boy raised his eyebrows. He reached out, grabbed at the priest’s sleeve, and poked his finger through a hole in the fabric just below his wrist. “I think you do,” he said slyly. “I heard you had a problem with your debts, Father Wilfred. As a matter of fact, I heard you stole from the church.” He clicked his tongue. “I can help you.”

Father Wilfred scoffed and pulled away. How in God’s name had the boy heard about that? “I doubt that very much. I sinned, but the king has been gracious.”

“Of course,” Ivar nodded. “And I am sure you have done nothing since then that would cause him to regret his decision to show you mercy.”

He dabbed at the small beads of sweat forming on his forehead. It was a bluff, surely. There was absolutely no way that this boy could know that, in a moment of weakness about a month ago, he had taken a small silver bowl that had been carelessly left out on the altar after mass. Although Ecbert had pardoned him before, he wasn’t the only individual to whom he still owed money, and those others were not so forgiving. But Ivar didn’t know about that. Or did he? 

He swallowed hard. “What do you want?”

Ivar leaned in close and lowered his voice. “I want you to help me escape this place and return home to Kattegat. I promise you that the reward will make it worthwhile.”

Father Wilfred stared at him. To meddle with the family of the king bordered on treason, and was a far worse crime than stealing or gambling. As the son of Ragnar Lothbrok, Ivar would no doubt be fine if they were caught conspiring, but Father Wilfred certainly could not plead for leniency on the basis of maintaining important diplomatic ties. His head would be on a stake in the courtyard in hours. 

His jaw twitched. “How much can you give me in return?” 

Ivar told him, and his eyes widened. With that amount, he could pay off his most demanding creditors and still have enough left over to leave Wessex and begin a new life somewhere else, far from Ecbert’s reach—assuming, of course, that Ivar could actually deliver what he was promising, which was no certain thing. It was reckless and risky. But it was a way out. Perhaps God had provided for him after all.

“Is it enough?” Ivar asked nervously. For a brief moment, Father Wilfred could see the desperation in his eyes. If he didn’t agree, then the boy had told him his conspiracy for nothing. And given their first encounter, it gave him some small amount of satisfaction to watch him sweat.

“It is,” he said at last, and watched Ivar breathe a small sigh of relief.

The boy stuck out his hand and after a moment and against his better judgment, Father Wilfred reached out and shook it. “So it’s agreed, then?”

God, he was absolutely going to regret this. “Agreed.”

                                                            ***

Ivar dedicated the next two weeks to reconnaissance while Father Wilfred arranged his transportation to the nearest port and secured his spot on a boat home. He worked out the schedule of the guards that were assigned to patrol the hallway during the night. He found a suitable location to meet the priest for when he made his escape. He discovered that the gates to the villa were usually closed at sunset, except for the nights before and after a feast for one of the many Christian saints. On those nights, it was normal for carts full of food and drink to arrive and depart at all hours, and the guards tended to be more lax in their inspections. Lucky for him, one such feast was fast approaching.

The Feasts of Saint Peter and Saint Paul, as Aldreda explained to him with probably more patience than he deserved, commemorated the martyrdom of the two apostles. The main thing he took away from the whole story was that Christians had some sort of unhealthy fixation on crucifixion. Aldreda gave him a little smack on the shoulder when he told her this, but she didn’t exactly deny it. 

Since their trip to Mercia, she had been more relaxed around him and wasn’t going out of her way to avoid him any longer. By the gods, she had even kissed him. To his profound relief, nothing had happened after that and she hadn’t pressed him on it. Not that he wasn’t interested—even though she didn’t look much like the usual type of woman he liked, he found her attractive enough in her own way—but the prospect of trying and failing with a woman once again terrified him. It wasn’t even important if nobody else ever found out. He would know and she would know for certain that he wasn’t really a man, not in the way that mattered.

At any rate, he would be gone soon and then it really wouldn’t matter. He just had to sit through an exceptionally long and boring mass first. He was too on edge to nod off to sleep as he usually did during these things, so he ended up fidgeting and shuffling around in his seat until Aldreda inevitably jabbed an elbow into his ribs. 

“Ow,” he whispered, pretending she had hurt him more than she actually had. She rolled her eyes and he grinned back.

Finally, after an eternity of listening to the archbishop blather on in Latin and watching everyone else in the room but him go up to the altar to eat the bread god, it was time for the actual feast. The guards carried him to the main hall, which had been fully transformed for the banquet. The first dishes had been brought out by the servants and the wine was already flowing by the time he settled into his usual place at Aldreda’s side at the highest table, which was reserved for Ecbert’s family. Ecbert stood up and clapped his hands, gave a mercifully short blessing, and the feast began in earnest.

Ivar cast his gaze around the hall in what he hoped was a casual manner, until he finally spotted Father Wilfred on the far side of the room. When he caught the priest’s eye, he gave him a cheerful little wave. Father Wilfred immediately looked away. As long as the miserable little priest wasn’t planning to betray him, that was fine. Now it was time to set the next part of his plan in motion.

A servant came by with a wine jug, and he held out his cup. After the girl had filled his cup, he gestured for her to fill Aldreda’s next. “To my wife,” he said, and clinked his cup against hers. Aldreda blushed and took a long sip.

He made sure to keep her cup full throughout the feast. Though she was not a particularly small woman, she was no match for him when it came to holding her liquor. She soon grew tipsy and then somewhat more than tipsy. By the point she nearly fell backwards out of her chair, he decided he had gone far enough. The banquet was winding down anyway; the hall was already half empty and the servants were busy carting empty platters back to the kitchen and mopping up spilled food and drink.

With a word to the ever-present guards, one man draped Ivar’s arm across his shoulder and levered him up while the other offered Aldreda a hand and steadied her when she stumbled. Ivar felt a sudden surge of frustration as he watched. He was her husband and that was supposed to be his job, if only...

“Ivar?” Aldreda asked him woozily. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he lied. “Let’s go to bed.”

They finally made their way back to their room, albeit more slowly than usual. Aldreda stumbled to the bed and sat down heavily beside him, hiccuping and then giggling at her own hiccups. She fumbled a little while undoing the buttons on the front of her dress, and Ivar waved away the servant who stepped forward to help her. “You can leave us,” he said. “I’ll take care of her.”

Once the servant was gone, he took over the task of helping her out of her dress, letting down her hair, and unclasping her necklace. “I don’t know why, but I think you wanted to get me drunk tonight,” she accused him, words slurring together. She giggled again and bunched the fabric of her shift between her fingers. “Are you trying to seduce me? Do you think that if you give a lady enough wine, you can get her to do whatever you want?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, unable to stop himself from blushing. He hoped he could hide her necklace before she noticed, but she stood up, crossed the room on unsteady feet, and dropped it on top of the dressing table where she usually kept it. Then she plopped back down on the bed and watched as he undressed. For the first time in weeks, he suddenly felt shy around her. 

“You could try, if you want,” she said. “To seduce me, I mean. I wouldn’t mind. We’re married, after all.”

“You’re drunk,” he told her bluntly as he set aside his shirt. He didn’t think she was mocking him, but he couldn’t quite believe she actually meant it either. At any rate, her timing couldn’t have been worse. “And you know I can’t do that.” 

His words came out more harshly than he had intended, and she winced. “I meant no offense,” she said.

He sighed. “I know you didn’t.”

They didn’t talk after that. Aldreda turned on her side, facing away from him. Before long, he heard her breathing grow slow and steady. He lay on his back, wide awake, and watched the shadows move across the ceiling. There was nothing he could do now except wait until Father Wilfred was ready for him, but his mind was already racing ahead to the next thing. By evening the next day, he would be on a boat headed home. He could already picture the approach to Kattegat and the curious crowd gathered on the dock, with his parents and brothers at the front waiting for him...

The bells rang. It was exactly one hour after midnight. With his heart thumping in his chest, Ivar slid out of bed as quietly as he could and started to get dressed. Usually, he would just scatter his clothes on the ground and let a servant pick them up for him later, but tonight, he had been careful to keep everything he needed in a neat pile so he wouldn’t waste time fumbling around. As he pulled on his boots and laced up the leather braces he wore around his legs, he listened to Aldreda snoring faintly on the bed. She was normally a heavy sleeper anyway, but with all the wine he had plied her with, he felt certain she would not wake.

Once he was fully dressed, he crawled over to the dressing table she had left her necklace on top of. Ivar suddenly realized that it was just out of his reach while he was on his hands and knees. He let out a quiet curse as he gripped the edges of the table and painstakingly pulled himself to his feet. 

Aldreda shifted in bed and he froze, his legs trembling underneath him as he tried to keep his balance. “Ivar?” she asked sleepily. 

“Go back to sleep,” he told her. He could feel the table starting to tip and he threw all his weight forward to prevent it—and himself—from crashing to the floor. He had prepared an excuse in case Aldreda woke while he was getting dressed or leaving, but it would be a little more difficult to explain to her that he had inadvertently knocked over her dressing table while trying to steal her mother’s necklace as a bribe for his escape attempt.

“Mm,” she answered. She rolled over and her breathing slowed once again, and Ivar let out a silent sigh of relief. He quickly snatched the necklace, lowered himself back down to the floor, and shoved it into his pocket before he could change his mind. It’s just a necklace, he lied to himself. Her father can get her another one.

He knew he couldn’t linger any longer. The guard that patrolled the hall outside their room would be changing soon, and he had to time it so that he left while the hallway was clear and before the next set of guards arrived. He crawled to the door and strained his ears, listening to the faint murmur of voices on the other side. An eternity passed before he finally heard them walking away.

Ivar exhaled slowly and waited another moment. He cast one final look back at Aldreda before reaching up to grab the handle and tentatively pushing the door open.

The hallway was empty. The next set of guards was late, no doubt caught up in the aftermath of the feast. He silently thanked the gods, dragged himself into the hall, and carefully shut the door behind him, checking again to make sure he hadn’t been seen. Then he made his way as quietly and as quickly as he could to the meeting place he had chosen with Father Wilfred. 

The priest was already waiting for him inside the rarely-used storage room down the hall, tapping his foot impatiently as Ivar crawled inside. “You’re late,” Father Wilfred snapped. The man looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and he kept anxiously glancing over his shoulder even though it was just the two of them in the room. He held out his hand. “I want what you promised me.”

“Fine.” Ivar took the necklace out of his pocket and reluctantly handed it over. The priest held it in his hands for a moment as though weighing it, and then he stuffed it down his shirt. They both knew there would be no going back for either of them after this. 

“Cover yourself,” the priest ordered, tossing Ivar a large, dirty blanket in return. After Ivar wrapped himself in the blanket and covered his head, Father Wilfred picked him up with a grunt and slung him over his shoulder, staggering under his weight.

“Really?” Ivar groaned as Father Wilfred started walking. It would be extremely obvious to anybody they passed that the priest was carrying a body, blanket or no blanket. “This is the best disguise you could come up with? We’re going to get caught.”

“We will definitely get caught if you keep talking,” Father Wilfred whispered back. “And if you had a better idea for a disguise, you should’ve told me. You’re the most recognizable person in this entire palace!”

“That’s not my fault,” Ivar said, but he shut up after that. From inside the blanket, he had no clue which direction Father Wilfred was taking him, and for a moment, he wondered if he had horribly misjudged the man. The priest could be taking him straight to Aethelwulf to tell him everything. Then they’d toss him in the dungeon and leave him there for the rest of his life. He could call the man a liar, but it would be no use—after all, it was hard to come up with an innocent explanation for why he had just stolen Aldreda’s mother’s necklace and had himself wrapped in a blanket to get smuggled out of the palace.  

Fortunately for him, Father Wilfred did not take him to Aethelwulf. After a considerable amount of huffing and puffing and Ivar repeatedly banging his chin into the priest’s back as he went down some stairs, Father Wilfred finally paused, dumped Ivar on the ground, and pulled the blanket off his head. 

Ivar blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. They had ended up on the grounds just outside the kitchen, behind a cart full of wine barrels. Father Wilfred was saying a few words to a burly man that Ivar assumed was the owner of the cart. Then he turned back to Ivar and gestured to an empty barrel that was lying on its side. “In you go,” he said. “Everything has been arranged. My friend here will take you directly to the closest port and the boat to Kattegat.”

Ivar looked dubiously at the inside of the empty barrel. It seemed far too small. “You can’t be serious,” he complained, but after a moment he scooted inside and discovered that it was indeed a very tight fit. His joints protested as he tried to fold his legs in closer to his body in a hopeless attempt to get comfortable. The wood reeked of wine and it made him slightly nauseous. 

Once he was in, Father Wilfred and the other man turned the barrel upright and lifted it onto the cart. Ivar looked up to see the priest staring down at him with a thoroughly annoyed expression on his face. It occurred to him that he was unlikely to see Father Wilfred after this. He opened his mouth to speak.

“I hope I never see you again in my life,” Father Wilfred said before he could say anything. Then he jammed down the lid and left Ivar in almost complete darkness.

He waited there for what felt like years. Finally, the cart began to move. He gritted his teeth as they hit seemingly every pothole in the road and he attempted without success to find a better position for his cramped legs. With the lid on the barrel, the smell of stale alcohol was nearly overwhelming and he could hardly keep himself from retching. 

His adrenaline had kept him going all night, but as the cart rattled on through the darkness he finally felt himself growing sleepy. Despite the discomfort of being squeezed into a barrel, he ended up dozing intermittently and then jolting awake whenever the cart hit a rough patch. After the first few times this happened, he found himself longing for the soft sheets and down-filled pillows on Aldreda’s bed, and the gentle warmth of the sunlight hitting his face in the morning, and lying there half-awake until finally Aldreda yawned and nudged him to get up…

Gods, what was wrong with him? He had left all of that behind. He tried instead to think about home, and everything he was going to do when he made it back to Kattegat—assuming his mother ever let him out of her sight again. But he would wear her down eventually. He always did.

After a long while, he could hear the birds starting to chirp, and around the edges of the lid, there was the faintest hint of light. He inhaled deeply, trying in vain to pick up the smell of salty air over the stench of old wine. Father Wilfred had told him it would be a day’s journey to reach the port by cart, but perhaps he had overestimated it. They might be there sooner. 

The cart came to an abrupt halt. Ivar heard men talking and then the sound of somebody climbing onto the back of the cart. His heart beat faster. Perhaps the cart driver had decided they were far enough away from the royal villa and it was safe to let him out. Or maybe they had already arrived. Once he was on the boat, nothing—barring another storm or some other intervention of the gods—would keep him from making it home to Kattegat.

The top of the barrel was suddenly wrenched open. Ivar blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light only to find Aethelwulf glaring down at him. His father-in-law’s face was red with fury.

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin🌪 (10)*Finale*

congratulations for making it to the part 1 finale guys! thank you all so much for supporting this au! I am grateful beyond words! ♡

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2195

you never really noticed how much breakfast solved your morning grumpiness but it did. you were much more relaxed and motivated when you were not worried and being taken over by hunger. you were able to actually pay attention and do your work with such ease. you thought maybe it was worth adding that into your daily routine once in a while. throughout you were surrounded by a bunch of females who were talking about how they were ranked on the list as it if mattered anymore. you wished they stop talking about it because to you at least, it didn’t matter anymore. you hated soobin for making something like that and you were happy you said what you said to him. 

anyway sister abigail was choosing random people to do math equations on the board today and you knew this would go completely go wrong for you. you knew math formulas and expression, but you couldn’t solve an equation. it was always for you which is why as soon as you felt as if you were about to go next you quickly asked her if you could go to the bathroom. she obliged and you were happy to have gone. 

you were kind of surprised soobin wasn’t in the hallway like he normally was. creating trouble and walking around as if he didn’t have classes to go to. you push open the door to the bathroom. there was someone sitting on the floor which you found very odd, and...disgusting. she looked insane. you don’t even think she went to the school, maybe she snuck in and needed a place to stay. you couldn’t go into another stall without addressing her. her clothes were ragged and her hair looked as if it hadn’t been brushed in days. you approach her hesitantly while she sits with her knees to her chest. she kind of scared you with that look of crazy in her eyes. 

“hey, are you alright? do you need somewhere to stay tonight?”.

maybe you could call your mom and they could’ve arranged something until she got back on her feet. you couldn’t just leave her here.

“what do you want? why are you even talking to me?”. she grumbled. you looked closer into her eyes.

“mia?”. 

“what?”. 

you were baffled at her appearance. you couldn’t believe she came to school in this condition she looked so strung out. it was terrible.

“what happened to you?”. 

“it’s not like you’d understand. shit like this happens to you when you refuse to be a saint”. she assures with a tear fleeing her eye. 

“mia it doesn’t matter if you’re a saint or not. if you need help you need help”. 

she blinked a couple of times before she began crying in her hands. you sit down with her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. you felt horrible for her and you hadn’t even known what happened. As she was crying you could see her now dirty school skirt lifting up a bit. words couldn’t describe how sorry you felt at the fresh wounds that slit across her thighs.

“mia? have you been...?”. she quickly clutched the bottom of her skirt and pulled it down. she was ashamed of what she had done. you pursed your lips. no human being should ever have to experience that kind of pain. absolutely no one. 

“I want to help you. can I help you?”. you says and mia looks up with you with her teary blue eyes. 

“why the hell would you want to help me? soobin must’ve broken up with you huh?”. 

you stand up, giving her a hand to help lift herself off the floor. 

“me and soobin aren’t dating”. you say truthfully. “we should head to the nurses office to get you some painkillers”. you hold out your hand for mia to hold. she reluctantly clutched it figuring she had no choice. you guided her down the hallway and your mind was blown on how she willingly let people see her look like this. it wasn’t like mia to ever look ungroomed. 

“what do we have here?”. 

“hey i was wondering she can get some pain meds? she’s having a bit of a headache right now”. the nurse nods putting a hand through mia’s tangled hair.

“are you okay honey?”. she asks. and mia just nods knowing she was broken beyond repair. she was given the tablets and glass of water and she took them gratefully. you tell the nurse thank you and wish her a happy rest of her day before you let mia follow you back into the bathroom.

you place your bag on the sink and position her in the mirror where she could see herself clearly. she knew she looked like a wreck, she hadn’t had the strength to do something about it. you reach into your bag and take out a brush, slipping it through mia’s hair carefully. she flinches. 

“what are you doing?”. she snaps.

“I’m brushing your hair. I refuse to let you walk out of the bathroom like this”. 

she turns around and continue going down each strand, brushing out the knots at the ends before brushing from the top. you did this until her hair was as silky and flowy as you remembered it. mia touches it, forgetting how much better she looked with it done.  

“you like it?”. you asks and mia nods. she looks into the mirror like it was her first time seeing herself. you grab a napkin and wet it, wiping the tear stains off her cheeks. “whoever they were must’ve really hurt you mia”. she holds her head kind of low while you dip into your bag and grab some mascara and lipstick. you never wore much makeup but you carried it because...well that’s just what girls did in high school . 

“i’ll never be the same person again”. she swallows. you twist open the mascara and grip the cap tight. you gently drag the mascara brush up her eyes lashes with care. “who’d ever hurt you like this? this is insane”. 

“you’d be surprised at the things people do when they’re desperate”.

“what did they want from you?”. you question finishing up her other eyelash. mia gulps and stares into your eyes with the most serious look you’ve ever seen. you gulp. 

“mia you have to tell someone you can’t just harm and neglect yourself like this”.

she shakes her head slowly, remembering what the boys told her. 

“I can’t”. 

“why can’t you? anything is better than this. look at your thighs. you can’t go on like--”. 

“I have no choice you don’t understand”. you sighed. you take out the lipstick and swab her lips with the pretty maroon color. you use your fingernails to get the excess around her lips before you were finished. you turned her around to the mirror where she could see herself. she stared and you could tell she didn’t know how to feel.

“you look beautiful mia. and if you let me help you we can get you through this”. 

she presses her lips together. 

“why are you being nice after I’ve done what i’ve done to you? it doesn’t fucking make sense”. 

“well--”.

“I clowned you in front of the whole school i fucked up your history exam I tripped you in gym class and not only embarrassed you but you were also injured. I tried to take soobin away from you and talked down on you as much as I possibly could to get him to hate your guts. why are you being like this?”. 

“The bible says to love your neighbor like you love yourself. yes those things happened but i forgive you. the only thing that is important right now is making sure that whoever it is pay for what they’ve done to you. you don’t deserve this”. 

mia toys with fingers before grasping you in her arms hugging you with the small pocket of joy she had left. 

“do me a favor just put that one on this wall”. Michael says to kevin. he nodded, taking the polaroid picture and stapling it to one part of the bulletin board. 

“we should spread them out more”. kevin says in a matter of factly tone. “true”. and together the both of them took their time taking numerous polaroids and stapling and taping them shamelessly to every wall they could find. 

“this bitch is so pathetic”. kevin utters laughing to himself. he was proud of the work they were doing. it was more fun than any arts and crafts project he’d ever done.

“she is. I hope she sees this shit”. michael replies. the both of them take a step back and look at it all together. in their eyes, it looked great. but when the bell rung and everyone made their way out into the hallway they stopped at every wall in complete horror. thousands of polaroids of the pictures mia took of herself, cutting herself and bleeding. under each one wrote, 

‘mia is an attention seeking cunt’ 

some laughed. some were shocked, and some just plainly walked by them as if they were normal everyday posters. but after mia hugged you, you slipped her your number and made your way upstairs to your class. to your misfortune you didn’t see them. 

but as soon as mia worked up enough courage to step out of the bathroom and become herself again she was reminded of who hurt her. she was reminded of the boys who could give less fucks about how she feels. she was reminded that she was an absolute psychopath for slitting her thighs the way she did. she was stared at. and normally mia wouldn’t mind being stared at when she was among her friends but it was different when she were alone and much more vulnerable. 

where were her friends?

she walks through the crowd holding her head low to avoid eye contact. she’d do anything to not be able to look into people eyes and see what they thought of her. she knew she was a lunatic. she knew she was disgusting. because in the religious community, self harm was bizzare. 

michael throws his hood on and ties it tightly so that his face went unseen. he catches up to mia who was still trying to innocently make her way past the hallway. he grabs them hem of her skirt and pulls it down before he makes a clean getaway. mia shrieks, gaining back the attention she was starting to lose.here she was, in the middle of the hallway with her scars out in the open for everyone to see. she quickly pulls her skirt back up with tears gushing out of her eyes. she runs outside of the school building and everyone stares in utter shock.

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════ 

the housekeeper clutches the blankets and snatches them off the bed. she jumped back a little when she saw the blood stains that danced along the bed sheets. she quickly reported it to her manager as she was mandated. he took a glimpse for himself. it was unusual that guests ever left a mess and when they did it would be food, shoes, maybe clothes that they forgot. 

but it was never blood so this was a serious problem. and it called for investigation.

[cosmosrival]

there it is! kama interlude analysis by a kama fan!

WELL. LIKE IT SAYS IN THE TITLE: this is just my own thoughts!! youre free to think whatever u want !! i am just putting my own knowledge into words because i genuinely love kama, and i would like for kama’s depth to be understood by the NA fandom a little more!! i try to stay as close as possible to their character in everything i do because i believe that the more in character they are, the funnier/more interesting content ppl will produce. 

and hopefully i understood them well ???!!!! HOPEFULLY ?!

i will be screenshotting the translated reddit post under this read more and stop whenever something i find interesting to develop pops up ! or else it’ll get way too long lol if you wanna read the interlude for yourself heres the link!

with that said, let’s go!!

kama’s interlude begins with guda passing the hell out because of exhaustion and then waking up in a dream sequence where kama treats them to some relaxing adventures, stuff to take their mind off heavy things!! first dream sequence is kama roleplaying a highschool setting where they’re dating.

i like this because they openly admit that its an illusion, breaking the immersion but as long as youre okay with roleplaying, they’ll continue it LOL  at some point, caesar mentions the student council president and arjuna appears behind him 

since this is an illusion that kama made, i’ve been wondering about the fact that the way servants conduct eachother in this interlude is mostly because that’s how kama envisions they would act in a highschool setting, in an amusement park and finally with eachother (mostly for confirmed couples such as siegbryn, consort yu and her hubby etc...). suzuka and sei being gyarus is obvious, but arjuna as the student council president... is so cute???!!! i MEAN IT FITS ?! THATS A GREAT IDEA KAMA!!!! ANYWAY

this is kama’s first monologue and since they’re primarily the god of lust, all of the more vanilla stuff they mentions such as sharing a pair of headphones embarrasses them since its so tame. ITS CUTE !!! kama expects you to be horny in class !! what are you doing thinking about hand holding !!! medusa saves u from that tho with a direct reference to her relationship with kama’s vessel 

this is interesting !! and reassuring !!! i think that kama as a character has a lot of depth and just reducing them to “sakura” would be a waste and this interlude shows how different they are from her. but they’re also similar! sakura went through a lot just like medusa says and kama does have trauma related to shiva. its not the same circumstances but the same kind of suffering which explains the nuance here. and what i like about chaldea is that there’s been multiple instances where its been proven that servants can grow thanks to their relationships with guda (most common example: leveling up your bonds) BUT ALSO, saint graph evolution (alts). and as a kama fan i’d like to see them happy someday and this interlude as a whole is proof of their healing/coping because of the time they spent in chaldea and how they interact with others. more on that later ! here, they don’t recognize medusa which is normal since they’re not sakura (someone else entierly), but...

they care about her ! because of sakura’s influence being a part of the servant called Kama(assassin). the difference here is important !! but i’ll come back on this in a bit. quick mention to the greek cupid <3 kamadusa nation we were fed (i clap by myself because im the only one who has 57575757557 kama rarepairs-----)

kama is a delinquent whos horny in class but still takes a few notes, enough to do well on their tests! and thats tea<3 smart horny lazyass !! theyre a gift

SO ARJUNA WAS OUT FOR BLOOD ????? ANYWAY, this is right after the actual fight against weirdo terrorists, and im happy to know that kama DOES enjoy a good fight (as proven in their voicelines as well) but theyre not a farming unit because it’d be too much work (single target NP..)...!!!!!!! lavish god of love.... 

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYY THE REAL DEAL !!!!!!!!!!!! “it feels wonderful to be your girlfriend” christ, kamadeva was so used to being a husband and a good lover, it reflected in their servant version.... but ree what do u mean by servant version???

I MEAN THE OBVIOUS !! kama explains it very well in the screenie just above ! 

“You know very well how servants work.”

KAMA ASSASSIN (the servant in your chaldea) is neither KAMADEVA or SAKURA MATOU or MARA. they’re a MIX OF PARTS OF THE THREE. creating an entierly new person(in this case, servant) !!!! it might sound like i’m repeating myself, but this is important!!!!!!!!! i will say this multiple times so people remember it !!! and if u already had this figured out: GOOD JOB I LOVE U !!!

Kamadeva (the god) has many stories, ones where he was born from concepts (dharma and shraddha), one where his parents are brahma and sarasvati, one where his parents are vishnu and lakshmi, stories about his reincarnation after his death where his parents are krishna and rukmini, his love with Rati and so on. We all know Sakura’s backstory since this is nasuverse. And Mara is a demon, an entity that tried to corrupt Buddha and prevent him from reaching enlightenment/stray from the path. Kama assassin has parts from all of these entities which explains why they have a vague longing for Rati, why they have a soft spot for Medusa and why they have an affinity with Kiara(and also like talking about corrupting u !). 

they then mention how a japanese highschool setting is fun and all i have to say is: i’m gonna make an indo fam delinquent vs student council au out of this one folks !!!!!!!! i gotta !!! 

OK next

TIME FOR THE SECOND DREAM SEQUENCE WHICH I WAS VERY VERY VERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY AFRAID OF BEFORE THE TRANSLATION CAME OUT.

THE PART WHERE KAMA ACTS LIKE YOUR CHILD.

well with their stage 1 it was expected but without the translation i have to say that i was scared shitless! because people hate thinking! and even if kama clearly tells you that it’s a charade, u know a JOKE. A DREAM SEQUENCE. DONT BE A CREEP. KAMA INTENDED FOR IT TO BE WHOLESOME. i know some ppl wont use their brains. but u know its fgo and degenerates are everywhere. 

anyways. family bonding time ensues until another monologue appears!!

exactly like before, kama mentions myths that belonged to kamadeva. Meaning that the Kama in our chaldea isn’t the Kamadeva we know and is not Pradyumna either but the fact that the writers chose to have kama acknowledge it is very reassuring !!! Because it means that they’ve chosen to make it a part of their (complicated) history. Kama says that Pradyumna is the myth about themself they know the least, once again proving us that the Kama in our Chaldea (Assassin) is a different entity and that they were summoned to the throne upon their death, the moment they were burned by Shiva’s flames and became Ananga, in any case they’re still familiar with all of their own myths. it allows us to keep heroic spirits separate from their original myths. Obviously! And in the case of pseudo-servants, it allows us to keep them separate from their vessels. Cuz this is a fanservice japanese game. Andddd the fandom likes forgetting this fact quite a lot i’ve noticed. As a person who loves thinking about tons and tons of headcanons for fun, this allows us a lot of space ! Because this is fate/grand order at its base. Nasuverse. 

I’m glad that the interlude explains it so clearly, it’s very good !! Because the majority of myths from every culture are confusing, family trees are confusing, names are confusing, powers and attributes are confusing... its a mess !!!! the fgo characters we know are just cut from their own respective timelines/historial figures so the writers can organize themselves more easily. Like cutting halves from a big cake. Kama (Assassin) is the Kama that died from Shiva’s flames and became the universe ONLY. In Nasuverse, Arthur Pendragon is a woman. Anastasia Romanov NEVER had a demon familiar named Viy in real life despite the creature being part of russian folklore. u know ! im russian i can testify dude !! 

hopefully everyone got this bc i wont be explaining this any further dude, its exhausting !!!!!! bangs my hands on the table !!!!! 

ANYWAYS kama mentions “eternal pain that turns [them] into ash” being their key element. Their trauma is at the center of their heroic spirit self, what they are as a servant. This suffering is tied to everything they do, why they’re so lazy, why they’re so lax, why they’re so detached from their job.  But they’re not detached from their role. And “job” and “role” have different connotations here. They refuse to work as a cupid because of obvious reasons. BUT. They’re not detached from their role as the God of Love, as the God of Passion. The embodiment of those feelings. This whole interlude is proof ! They’re giving u free therapy because they Love you. Passion. They feel your love. Passion. They acknowledge how much fun you’re having. How passionate you are about certain things. They might seem extremely detached and hateful, but they aren’t. They’re one of the most empathetic servants there is. And their ability to love everything, even the things they hate is what makes them so miserable. Because it’s a part of them. Because the concept of Kama in hinduism is linked to them. Be it lust or simply the passion born from anything you do where you’re enjoying yourself. (quote:  “ the term also refers to any sensory enjoyment, emotional attraction and aesthetic pleasure such as from arts, dance, music, painting, sculpture and nature “. R. Prasad (2008), History of Science, Philosophy and Culture in Indian Civilization )

... I’d like to say that this contrast with Mara is interesting. And that i’m glad the writers chose to add in Mara to the kama assassin Beast mix. 

Because the anger Mara feels can become a drivepoint for Kama. I’ve always believed that anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, it’d explain how layered Kama is and how valid their emotions are. Constantly torn between love and hate. An eternal grudge (i don’t deserve to be hurt like this) and an eternal misery(maybe i do deserve to be hurt like this). 

i wish they were my roommate <3 oh fuck ree got emotional wait where were we.

OH YEAH

i think kama saying that they dislike being involved with other indian servants because theyre linked to shiva is a feeble attempt at trying to keep up a strong front because they still love them in the end. cuz that’s how kama is ! after a while they’ll get bored of bullying ganesha and ashwatthama. they’ll get interested in rama because their respective mythos are linked even if their servant selves have no connection. hell, at the end of the interlude they talk about parvati and how they themself changed and realized things. BUT OH WELL, THATS STUFF FOR ANOTHER POST HEHE thats just ree wanting kama to b happy yall move along !!

.....THIS ISNT A COLLEGE STUDENTS ROLEPLAY BUT ITS A CUTE JAPANESE COMPANY BOSS/UNDERLING SETTING AND ITS CUTE SO I THINK KAMA WEARING A PENCIL SKIRT AND POURING U ALCOHOL IS CUTE. CUTE.

further proof of kama’s overflowing affection and what i detailed above!! hopefully u all knew this one simply from reading this interlude/their profile page and dont need me to write it down for u. HOPEFULLY !!!!!

(I START BEATBOXING VERY RAPIDLY AND RUNNING TOWARDS YOU) KAMA IS A SADIST AT THEIR CORE AND I WILL NEVER STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re easy to fluster because theyre not used to being so vanilla, but whats underneath is how they truly are !! a beast turned servant, the sweetest sadist !! theyre very mature and this interlude is so well written (wipes my teears

this is directly linked to what i explained above, by burning you away, you’ll melt into nothingness just like they did. When they were the universe, they felt both everything and nothing. 

But was it really relief ... ?

... IT WASNT.

AND PARVATI SAVES THE DAY !!!!!!! phew!! thank u paru, it’d still like to be able to touch kama’s huge titties and i cant do that if i turn into ashes (falls down the stairs

ok she summoned lovey dovey canon couples to annoy kama since they’re exhausted of seein them!!

...............(I TAKE OUT A KNIFE) TAKE THAT BACK. DONT TALK TO THEM LIKE THAT. TAKE THAT BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

ohhhhhh im obsessed i love when theyre angry<3 i love when theyre fighty <3 i think they should beat the living shit out of a boxing bag DAILY to let out some of this steam. they’d be a monster on the ring... aaa kama in training boot y shorts aa a .. .uughg hg ouu... (you all shove me into a locker)

ok this is interesting !! i think that the interlude showing us that parvati feels a semblance of guilt is character dev. proof for what i mentioned before!! in ookuu parvati felt quite ..unsympathetic to me, even if kama is a beast who wants to annihilate humanity, when u think about it, at their core their grudge is because of her and shiva’s betrayal. and here, she properly apologizes for making kama so upset. this is heartwarming to me since i dislike thinking that members of the indo fam hate eachother :( same goes for arjuna and karna, at some point i’d like for them to act like bros normally and finally be comfy. but anyways !!

u wake up from the dreams and da vinci, mashu and paru are here to tell u whats going on. But its fine bc u remember everything and u have to go thank someone for helping u out!!!

CUTE !!!!!!! THEY CARE ABOUT U !!!!!! but whether it be because of their role or because theres a deeper meaning is entierly up to your own interpretation because...

of what they say here. 

and here !! 

ohhhhhhhhh this is so important !!!!!!

this is actual proof of kama’s growth as a servant and how servants evolve in chaldea !! chaldea is not the same as a grail war, its a special, cut-off place and thats what makes it even more relaxing to think about. Everytime u summon a servant in ur chaldea u give them a chance to have fun with you, to have fun with other servants, to make amends, to start from scratch, to discover things they would’ve never known in their time (movies, video games, tons of different foods etc...), u give them a chance to relax. to grow !! this is the headcanon that im most attached to and im glad to see it be confirmed in the interlude of a character i love tbqh i had to stop and talk about that.

everyone say thank u kama !! can we roleplay a college roommate coffee shop slowburn au next time <3 

ANYWAYS if you’ve read it this far: thank you !!! im sorry if you expected something very serious, im not that type of person hehe im jus here to have fun and look at things i like, and the interlude itself was quite lighthearted and refreshing. By talking about the myths and all of kamadeva’s stories, the writers basically gave lore nerds a huge thumbs up like... “its ok now !! u can go ape now !! go be insane<3 love u<3″ and all of this kama characterization GENUINELY makes me so happy because i think they really needed that. kama assassin... (i blow a kiss to the sky) is a little mess of a servant... a god, human crumbs and a demon... a total mess... im in love with them...

..............tho now the wait for a summer alt where they interact with the entire indo fam begins (im sitting in a chair unmoving)(i have a gun in case minase begins acting gross

[akegatacchi]

Sense8 AU!aftg

In the honor of absolutlynothing I’ve decided to put out there one of the many au I have on my phone and archive it there

Big shout out to @a-m-peengoo and @bluesuederose for participating in this mess with genius lines and always be there to bear my 36 ideas per hour. We did a masterpiece girls.

Here we go it’s gonna be long

The cluster:

Kevin: Nomi. He’s just a fuckin hacker who’s running away from his family (riko). When he’s bored, he spends nights crashing the Pentagon system for fun, and makes every screen in the White House play Best Exy Actions Compilation (the longest and hardest part is choosing one compilation to play).

Dan: Will. One of them have to keep them under control. Plus, Dan with a gun i can’t even-

Matt: Riley. Soft, blue strand of hair, a heart of gold, maternal. As a DJ. Yes. SO SOFT (he still knows how to box)

Allison: Capheus. Listen. Imagine Allison in high heels, skin tight leather pants, driving a bus. Also, a F1 pilot champion who can drive anything (even if it’s the first time)

Andrew: Wolfgang. Duh. Do I need to explain myself. Just think abt him saying “This is Berlin. Those are my people. And we go to our knees for no one”.Boy he does NOT like this situation, at all. Will keep the others out with sheer willpower and no blockers. The cluster’s deadliest weapon. PLUS HELLO???? ANDREW IN A PASTEL PINK BOMBER SHOOTING ON A HELICOPTER WITH A BAZOOKA????

Aaron: Felix? Sorta? not a senseate but a great doctor. Senses bullshit and when someone is in Andrew’s body real quick  (Andrew: says more than 2 sentences and is pleasant. Aaron:.....who’s that bitch where is my brother) . Later helps to manufacture blockers.

Neil: Kala. A pharmacist that uses his skill for arson and may or may not be running away from mafia/family matter and currently hiding in India. Him saying “Bring it, bitch” to Riko is my sexuality and Andrew’s. Can create explosives from a Fanta can and spices I mean it’s already canon in aftg. (plus andreil would work even better bc technically Neil can’t even touch Andrew for real)

Nicky: Lito. The drama, the sass. Also the scene where he discovers the Twinyard in Germany are his cousins would be hilarious. The scene where Lito seduces the nurse but with Nicky (“engaging into heterosexual activity? me????”) or the scene where Lito screams in the museum but with Nicky

Erik as Hernando. That’s it that’s the post.

Renee: Sun. I mean, a korean fighter lady in prison trying to be a better person and had a silent bffs relationship with a german gangster? Come on. Also. Allison in a bus and Renee doing art martials stuff. 

Riko: whispers i guess he can eat Allison’s high heels

Now the ~scenes~ (it’s just shitposting):

Aaron, on the verge on several break downs: wait so you have like … DJ Blue Matt and F1 pilot Allison Reynolds in your head? since when? ANDREW SINCE WHE-

*

Neil: what’s a better use of a multiple thousands dollars education than precise arson?????

*

Aaron: why does your boyfriend always end up burning things up?

Andrew: he lits up my heart as well

Aaron: FOR FUCK SAKE

*

Kevin, shocked and betrayed: is there a better sport than exy?

Aaron and Allison: YEAH A REALLY GOOD CAR RACE

*

Allison: you’re - you’re like the spirit of Lucy Liu. In Charlie’s Angels. I watch it once a day. Renee:.....that’s sweet actually :) 

*

Neil: does a molotov cocktail

Matt: I tHoUgHt yOu wErE a PhArMaCiSt

Neil: Yes? That’s PHYSICS

Matt: no that’s ARSON NEIL

Alternative:

Kevin: breaks into the Pentagon virtually

Neil: breaks into the Pentagon physically

Matt, again: i thought you were a PHARMACIST!!!! Neil: Yes I am??? That’s irrelevant

*

A senseate sibling, escaping, grabbing a vehicle at random: someone knows how to drive that?

Allison, in stilettos : no, but I sure will soon

*

Just Allison driving Renee around to fight people

*

Everytime someone mocks a senseate sibling Neil or Nicky shows up to roast them. Sometimes they do it both at the same time. It’s apocalyptic. The sass. The drama. 

They can also bullshit their way out of any situation. Neil is such a smooth liar and Nicky is just ridiculous. The FBI agent charged to arrest them somehow ends up crying abt childhood trauma while hugging a teddy bear.

Neil, caught in the act of making a string of explosives by the FBI guy: uuuuuuh….Nicky?

Nicky, currently dealing with a white mom in retail: somehow convince the FBI to buy christmas lights

(Yes Nicky works in retail bc his family cut ties with him but he hopes to be an actor.ON BROADWAY)

(From retail to actor to cluster negotiator real quick)

A  fuckin moron to Allison: a hottie like you driving a bus? what is this, hooker on wheels?

Neil: please let me have this one

Allison: seats back and enjoys Neil roasting him

Nicky: brings the popcorn

Nicky, to the FBI guy: You can’t arrest me Daryl I’m your long lost little brother

The FBI guy, a white man: My name is not Daryl Neil: THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE

The FBI guy, texting Neil (don’t ask): I guess I’m still in love with my ex

Nicky: aaaaaw we have to help this sweetheart

Neil: do you want me to burn his current boyfriend’s car, buddy?

(Nicky: DON’T REMIND HIM THAT HE’S SUPPOSED TO ARREST US)

*

A fuckin homophobe: ready to get your ass kicked, faggot?

Andrew: appears through Nicky

Nicky, smiling: fuck yeah, baby 

*

Andrew, between two bazooka shot, to Neil:  we’re nothing

*

Nicky, through Andrew, all cheery: Hi!!!! :D

(Aaron jumps like a scared cat)

*

Andrew: ready to kill ppl for mafia business

All the senseate siblings in the back minus Renee, eating popcorn and enjoying the show: Kick ass, Drew!

*

Andrew, on the hospital bed: has an emotional moment with Aaron

Aaron: sir or ma'am, idk who you are but it’s family only, I will ask you, as his doctor, to leave my brother’s body

*

Aaron: Andrew is2g if you’re making psychic love to that fuckin red hair rn i will-

*

Andrew each time a senseate is hurt: Aaron it’s for you

(Just Aaron doing med tutorials for a whole cluster while Andrew repeats it with a bored tone to everyone)

(Aaron, sighs: it is Neil again? Just let him bleed for a few minutes)

*

Neil, making bomb with kitchen stuff: If it means losing you then no

Andrew, falling in love: oh

*

Bad guy: You have no weapon, blondie!

Allison, with Renee and Dan behind her: Think again, sweetheart

*

They made a little “honorary cluster member” badge to Aaron (he does not cry STFU NEIL)

*

Dan and Neil both knows by heart the laws of different countries…..for very different reasons.

*

Luther: humiliates Nicky once again

Renee: calmly breaks his hand at dinner while smiling like an angel, all the while stopping Andrew from killing him with the other hand

*

Neil, a pharmacist: blowing shit up and arson

Aaron, a doctor, watching him: yk what hold my beer I know several ways to stop a man’s heart

*

The whole “You don’t know how to use a gun” “No, but you do” with andreil or matt and dan

*

Just Drew and Renee kicking some mafia asses together as buddies

(While Neil blows some shit up in the background and Allison/Nicky cheer)

*

Matt has the perfect ear too

Him and Kevin are the remote operation/communication team but one day all the fighters/criminals of the cluster are busy so they both start to fight as well and fuck they are good at it

Nicky: I expected this from Biceps Matt but Kevin??? You can land a kick like that???

Kevin, outraged: I WENT TO THE EXY OLYMPICS WHEN I WAS 16

*

Speaking of Kevin, they all call him “nerd” or “einstein”

Allison: so the nerd can fight uh

*

Aaron, counting down on his fingers: so you have F1 Pilot Superstar Allison Reynolds, former gold medalist and tech genius Kevin Day, a human diapason, a multilingual arsonist, World no.1 Taekwondo Champion Renee Walker, a cop, an actor…..what are you there for??

Andrew, literally a mafia king:....ice cream and crime?

*

Neil to Andrew, after the whole debacle with his father is out: You did know there were mafia out of Germany too, right?

Andrew: I can’t even have that for myself fuck this family

*

Dan, every time before each “mission”: okay guys I know we need to do it but I’d like to remind ALL of you *looks pointly at Neil and Andrew* it’s STILL illegal and morally dubious

Neil: …….like I said to Nicky, irrelevant *without missing a beat blows up the entire building and puts on stolen Gucci shades*

Alternative:

Neil: ok saint theresa why were you the one to suggest we explode Riko’s brain off then

Dan: ...don’t turn the conversation around me it’s about you

*

Allison “guess we’re detourning a place next” Reynolds and Kevin “It’s not that hard to pilot” Day

(Kevin: But why are you on a plane to Russia? I thought you were in India last time?

Neil:....don’t ask)

*

Aaron to Andrew, where they are trapped and betrayed: your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to know how to poison a whole room with gaz?

Neil: I was born for this moment

(Andrew: just bc you’re my brother doesn’t mean you have the right to dirty talk my boyfriend)

*

Andrew: be gay, do crime and eat ice cream

Nicky: AND BLOW NEIL’S D-

*

(before they know abt Neil’s past, when Andrew is angsty bc he caught feelings)

Andrew: You  shouldn’t get close to me, it’s dangerous, i’m mafia

Neil: oh haven’t you heard-

*

Jeremy, bouncing out of nowhere: Hey Kev ! Love how you BI-nary code ahah have you heard of the ARCHIPELAGO 

*

Neil, sipping tea: so my father is the Butcher

Matt:  okokokok coolcoolcoolcool yk what arson doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all

*

(this one is not funny sorry) but Neil taking over each time someone is hurt bc he is used to deal with it

“Give the pain to me”

*

Andrew and Aaron like to fuck around a lot with the whole sensate stuff (since only one of them is a sensate)

Bad guy: only one of you is a sensate, which one is it?

Twinyard, in a perfect and flat tone: try to guess

A bad guy is spying on Andrew and waiting to kill him in Germany, via a cam, thinking he’s safe BUT SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER it was aaron dressed as Andrew in a mafia meeting and now you have to deal with a 5 feet tall mafia boy

*

For real tho they are a little protective of the normal doctor who heal them every time (yes even Neil but don’t tell him) so you bet something like that happens one day:

Aaron: comes home from work angry

Andrew, cleaning up blood or counting money: whassup shithead?

Aaron: There’s this older doctor he’s great and all but he’s a fuckin asshole to me he belittles me everyday bc i’m young and we lost a patient today bc he rathers humiliate me than let me save him 

Andrew, a dangerous glint in his eyes and a whole cluster behind him: oh?

Kevin, opens his computer and digs up dirt on him: give me a sec

Allison: I can roll over him with my truck

Neil: there is so many ways to mix two meds and kills him ON ACCIDENT

Dan: let’s see how he deals in prison

Nicky: oh this is going to be fun

Kevin, reciting facts like he’s reading a grocery list: so yeah he smuggles meds from the hospital so local drug dealers, illegally sells meds for himself on the black market, does tax evasion, is friend with a local senator and both of them are involved with minors….i have already several reservation at X hotel btw and cases of work harassment on nurses and interns, threats to others older doctors in serve, and OH. OH. We have a spanking kink on our hands too.

Every members of the cluster, turning to Nicky and Neil:....go wild

Nicky, giggling: not that’s it’s a shame when it’s consensual but not here so - let’s start with the spanking :D

Neil: Can I make him cry

No violence is used but the doctor is found on the floor drowning in his own tears after a few minutes and after an hour he’s resigned and leaving the country

Andrew was dressed as Aaron for that (that being: smuggling Neil and Nicky into the hospital to meet the doctor through him)  and sends him a selfie of a 5 feet surgeon and the man crying on the floor 

It’s their best memory as a family (Aaron hates Neil a little less after that)

Neil to Nicky: why did you stop me from pushing towards suicide??? He’s gonna do that in another country

(Kevin: no if I can help it)

Nicky: bc we don’t do that to people!

Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Allison:...........right

Neil: killing even indirectly is no good but destroying their life and humiliating them publically is good?

Nicky: YES!

Matt and Dan: WAIT NO

(Allison: don’t brother Neil you’ll just hurt your head)

(Neil, close to tears: but...but...but arson?? Andrew, with knives out: alright fuckers who broke his heart?)

*

Matt and Dan bc they’re fuckin weak to Neil: ITS OK BUDDY ARSON IS GOOD

*

I have to end on this note:

Storyline wise, Neil would have make the perfect Wolfgang too….if Wolfgang was a twink.

[midrashic]

rules. it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

i was tagged by the amazing lavender-lotion, who has written a ton of wonderful stuff this year! i did look at fics i wrote throughout the year (17!) but my five most recent fics are genuinely what i’m most proud of. i don’t know if that means i’m improving or what, but it’s a good feeling to look back on your work and feel grateful that the output of all that time and effort seems worth it. (no writing is wasted etc. but! some writing is especially not wasted.)

in order, with the fic i’m most proud of coming last:

AN AMATEUR PSYCHIC’S GUIDE TO REMEMBERING WHAT WAS LOST

x-men | cherik | 32k 

Hong Kong, 2011. Erik Lehnsherr lives in limbo: scrounging up money to pay rent from gambling dens or the scrapyard, not using his psychic powers, not dealing with his PTSD. When a teenage fellow psychic shows up at his shithole apartment with a get-rich-quick scheme, he's pulled into a world he thought he left behind—a world of brutal powers, deadly government experiments, and a mysterious man with a suitcase who is going to change his life… again.

for cherik big bang 2020 | this is a fusion with the terrible 2009 chris evans movie push, & it was a lifeline when i was grappling with writing my original idea for the cherik big bang. this is a fun exes-reuniting story about psychics, and i had a great time with the settings, the formal elements, & the way the plot entwined with charles and erik’s relationship.

THE WAY THIRST HOLDS WATER

x-men | erik x hank | 3k

"I'm not hiding," Hank said. Erik laughed, like rusty bells jangling. "McCoy, you're always hiding."

for @librata-laments​‘s birthday and trans appreciation week day one: coming out | smutty pre-cuba plane hatesex featuring trans!erik & trans!hank. this turned out so much better than i expected it would, & i fell in love with this version of erik.

AS CLOSE TO HELL

james bond | 00q | 19k 

O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray: grant thou, lest faith turn to despair. —Romeo, Romeo & Juliet I.v.114-115

for the mi6-cafe’s occult october | part ii of conjurings series | i was very proud of the first installment in this series, featuring medium!q & ghost-hunter!james and based off of the conjuring movies; it was also an occult october fic and the first thing i wrote when i really started getting serious about making time for fandom in my life. if possible, i’m even prouder of this one. it’s got epistolary elements, has more of an action plot than its predecessor, & a few tropes that i love, and if the commenters are to be believed, that readers love too.

OTHER FUTURES THAN THESE

x-men | cherik | 81k 

In which Cuba doesn't break them apart, but that doesn't mean that their futures are tied together. (Except that it does.) A Days of Future Past AU where only one person can defeat the Sentinels and save the future: the man whose imprisonment and torture created them, and Charles Xavier's ex.

i will always think of this as my first genuinely long fic. it was also the first i posted on a set schedule, the first fic i wrote out of order, & my first cherik fic. i really enjoy the classic time travel fix-it nature of this fic, and if this remains my most popular cherik fic, i think it’ll be for good reason. just a rock for me throughout this year.

A KRITIK OF PURE REASON (THE SUITS REMIX)

x-men | cherik | 27k | warning: references to child sexual abuse

Texas: When Erik and Charles collide during their senior year of high school, they swiftly find out they make the perfect debate partners. But as secrets come out—and as they draw inexorably closer—more turns out to be at stake than the State championship.

for x-men remix 2020 | i have wanted to write a debate au since i was in the sherlock fandom c. 2013, so actually sitting down and writing it--with inspiration taken from my own cx debate years & ben lerner’s the topeka school--was intimidating, exhiliarting, and ultimately felt so good. the charles & erik that ended up taking form were intense, both in their passion for debate and each other, in a way that really gets to the core of what a lot of people find appealing about high school aus, i think--that feeling that everything matters so much, that feeling of being rubbed raw by the world. 

tagging! @castillon02​, @solarmorrigan​, @ato-the-bean​, @insertmeaningfulusername​, @hellfre​, & @ikeracity​!

[thisbluespirit]

James Maxwell TV/Film List

More of a guide than a recs list, because old tv/film depends so much on availability.  It’s also hard as there’s nothing surviving that’s really like SotT for him (his voice is always slightly different, too & rarely the grand one from SotT) - I found it hard to find where to start back in the day, so I hope this makes it easier.  However, I have starred my favourites (rated for JM content only). 

I’ve divided things into categories and @jurijurijurious​ (or anyone) can make up their own mind as to what to go for.  (Also @jurijurijurious I have NO idea what old telly you’ve already seen, so forgive me if I’m telling you things you already know.)

Where to find it:  Luckily in the UK, it’s not too bad!  Network Distributing are the DVD supplier to keep an eye on (they do great online sales), you can find secondhand things cheap on Amazon Marketplace & eBay, and several Freeview channels show old TV & film, especially Talking Pictures.  I’ll note if things are on YT or Daily Motion, but they come and go all the time, so it’s always worth searching.

***

Film serials (ITC mainly)

British TV made on film in the US mode with transatlantic cash, so generally pretty light,  episodic (continuity is almost unheard of) etc.  Some turn up on ITV3 & 4 on a regular basis (colour eps). 

*** Dangerman “A Date With Doris” (ITC 1964)  James Maxwell is a British spy friend of Drake’s (Patrick MacGoohan) called Peter who gets framed for murder.  Drake goes to Fake Cuba to rescue him by which time JM is dying from an infected wound and faints off every available surface, including the roof.  It’s great.  On YT.  (The boxset is v pricey if you just want 2 eps.)

“Fair Exchange” (ITC 1964) JM is a German spy friend of Drake’s called Pieter who helps him out on a case.  Not as gloriously hurt/comfort-y as the other, but it does have some excellent undercover dusting. (Why  Patrick MacGoohan has JM clones all called variations on Peter dotted around the globeis a mystery.)  On YT.

The Saint “The Inescapable Word” (ITC 1965) This is pretty terrible, but  entertaining and James Maxwell plays the world’s most hopeless former-cop-turned-security guard. With bonus collapsing.  On YT.

“The Art Collectors” (1967).  JM is the villain of the week.  It does include a v funny bit, though, where the Saint (Roger Moore) goes for JM’s fake hair (and who can blame him?  How often I have felt the same!)  This one’s in colour so should pop up on ITV3 or 4. 

The Champions “The Silent Enemy” (ITC 1968).  Surprisingly good JM content as the villain of the week who drugs sailors and steals their clothes before realising that maybe he should have worked out if he could operate a sub before he stole it.

The Protectors “The Bridge” (ITC 1974, 30 mins.)  Not worth seeking out on its own, but ITV4 seems fond of it and James Maxwell gets to do some angsting and wears purple, so it’s worth snagging if you can, but too slight otherwise.

*** Thriller “Good Salary, Prospects, Free Coffin” (ITC 1975; 1hr 10mins, I think).  James Maxwell moves in with Julian Glover and runs an overcomplicated murdery spy ring where they bicker a lot in between killing girls by advertisement and burying them in the back garden.  What could possibly go wrong??  Anyway, it’s solid gold cheese, has bonus Julian Glover and a lot of natty knitwear.  What more does an old telly fan want?  (tw: Keith Barron being inexplicably the very meanest Thriller boyfriend.)  On YT but tends to get taken down fast.

***

Films

Design for Loving (1962; comedy).  Can be rented from the BFI online for £3.50.  Isn’t that great or that bad (or that funny either), but does have JM as a dim layabout beatnik, which is atypical.

***The Traitors (1962).  This is a low-key little 1hr long spy B-movie, but it’s also thoughtful and ambiguous with a nice 60s soundtrack and location work (it’s a bit New Wave-ish) and the central duo of JM and Patrick Allen are sweet and it all winds up with James Maxwell going in the swimming pool. One of the things where JM is actually American. (Talking Pictures show this occasionally & it is out on DVD as an extra on The Wind of Change.)  The quality of the surviving film is not great, though.

***Girl on Approval (1962).  A Rachel Roberts kitchen sink drama about a couple fostering a difficult teenager.  It’s dated, but it’s also really interesting for a 1950s/60s slice of life (and very female-centric) & probably the only time on this list JM played an ordinary person.

***Otley (1969).  Comedy that’s generally dated surprisingly well & is good fun, starring Tom Courtenay +cameos from what seems like the whole of British TV.  JM is an incompetent red herring & there are more cardies and glasses as well as a random barometer. 

Old Vic/Royal Exchange group productions

(Surviving works made by the group that JM was involved in from drama school to his death, made by Michael Elliott or Casper Wrede.  I like them a lot mostly, but they are all slow and weird and earnest & not everybody’s cup of tea.)

Brand (BBC 1959).  The BBC recording of the 59 Company’s (the name they were then using) landmark production, starring Patrick MacGoohan.  This was a big deal in British theatre & launched the careers of everybody involved.  It’s very relentless and weird but interesting & I’m glad they decided it was important enough to save.  First fake beard alert of this post.  It won’t be the last.  On YT & there is a DVD, which is sometimes affordable and sometimes £500, depending on the time of day.

***Private Potter (1962).  The original TV play is lost and this film has an extraneous storyline, but otherwise has most of the TV cast & gives a pretty good idea of why as a claustrophobic talky TV piece it made such an impact.  Tom Courtenay is Private Potter, a soldier who claims to have had a vision of God during a mission & James Maxwell his CO who needs to decide what to do about this strange excuse for disobeying orders.  Tw: fake eyebrows (!) and moustaches.  Only available on YT.

[???]One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch (1970).  Again, no DVD release (no idea why), but it is on YT.  I haven’t seen this yet, but it’s another Casper Wrede effort starring Tom Courtenay and apparently JM is especially good in it.  (I’m just not good at watching long things on YT and keep hoping for a DVD or TV showing.)

Ransom (1974).  A more commercial effort starring Sean Connery & Ian McShane; it gets slated as not being a good action movie, but is clearly meant to be more thinky and political with the edge of a thriller. JM’s part isn’t large but Casper Wrede shoots his friend beautifully, & it’s a pretty decent film with nice cinematography, shot in Norway, as was One Day.  I liked it.

[I think this post might be the longest in the world, whoops.  Sorry!]

Cardboard TV (the best bit, obv)

One-off plays etc./mini-series

Out of the Unknown “The Dead Planet” Adaptation of an Asimov short story; this is very good for JM, but hard to get hold of unless you want the boxset.  I think someone has some of the eps on Daily Motion.  (His other OotU ep is sadly burninated.)

The Portrait of a Lady (BBC 1968).  Adaptation of the novel; JM is Gilbert Osmond, so it is great for JM in quantity and his performance, but depends how you feel about him being skeevy in truly appalling facial hair.  Do the bow ties and hand-holding make up for it?  but he’s in 5 whole episodes, and Suzanne Neve, faced with Richard Chamberlain, Edward Fox, and Ed Bishop as suitors, chooses instead to marry the worst possible James Maxwell.  Relatable. XD

***Dracula (ITV 1968, part of Mystery & Imagination).  JM is Dr Seward, fainty snowflake of vampire hunters, who falls over, sobs and can’t cope for most of the 1 hr 20 mins.  More facial hair, but not as offensive as last time.  Suzanne Neve is back again, although now JM is nice, she’s married Corin Redgrave, who’s more into Denholm Elliott. Anyway, I love this so much because it turned out that I love Dracula as well as shaky old TV with people I like in getting to fight vampires and all be shippy.  Good news - TP keep showing M&I, the DVD is out, and there are two versions of it up on YT.

The Prison (Armchair Cinema 1974).  This is the one with Lincoln in it, but it’s not that great & JM isn’t in it that much, so depends how curious you are for the modern AU!  (But my Euston films allergy is worse than my ITC allergy, and I watched this when very unwell, so I may have been unfair.)

Crown Court “Fitton vs. Pusey” (1973) - part of the Crown Court series, set in a town full of clones who all keep returning to court.  JM is on trial for his behaviour in (the Korean war?  I forget?) although he ought to be on trial for his terrible moustache.  It’s not that great, but it is nice JM content.  He probably did it, but for reasons, and he wibbles & panics whenever his wife leaves the courtroom.  Also on YT.

*** Raffles “The Amateur Cracksman” (ITV 1975) - He is Inspector Mckenzie in the Raffles pilot & is a lot of fun.  At one point when there was a Raffles fandom someone in it claimed he was too gay for Raffles, which I’m still laughing about, because Raffles.  Anyway, watch out if you try to get the DVD because it is NOT included in S1, whatever lies Amazon tells. It is up somewhere online, though, I think.

Bognor “Unbecoming Habits” (1981).  Some down marks for possibly the worst 80s theme & incidiental music ever, but fun & has been shown on Talking Pictures lately.  JM is an Abbot running a honey-making friary that is actually a hotbed of spies, murder, gay sex and squash playing.  This is the point at which he chooses to strip off on screen for the first time, because strong squash-playing abbots do that kind of thing apparently.

Guest of the week in ongoing series/serials

Since even series with a lot of continuity tended to write episodes as self-contained plays (like SotT), these are usually accessible on their own.

Manhunt “Death Wish” (1970).  This is one of the most serialised shows here, but this episode is still fairly contained.  WWII drama about three Resistance agents on the run across France.  JM is... a Nazi agent & former academic trying to break an old friend (one of the series’ three leads, Peter Barkworth) with kindness, possibly??  (Manhunt is very angry and psychological & dark and obv. comes with major WWII warnings (& more if you want to try the whole thing), but it’s also v good.)  Up on YT, I think.

Doomwatch “The Iron Doctor” (BBC S2 1971).  “Doomwatch” is the nickname of a gov’t dept led by Dr Spencer Quist that investigates new scientific projects for abuse/corruption/things that might cause fish to make men infertile etc. etc.  JM is a surgeon who comes to their attention because he’s a bit too in love with his computer for the comfort of one of his more junior colleagues.  (I think it’s perfectly comprehensible & a nice guest turn, but it is hard to get hold of outside of the series DVD.  Which, being a cult TV person, I loved a lot anyway, but YMMV!)

***Hadleigh “The Caper” (S3 1973).  Hadleigh is a very middle of the road show, but watchable enough (lead is Gerald Harper, who’s always entertaining) and this is pretty self-contained as it centres around an old con-man friend (JM) of Hadleigh’s manservant causing trouble by pretending to be Gerald Harper, for reasons.  JM seems to be having a ball.

Justice 2 episodes, S3 1974.  He guests twice as an opposing barrister & gets to be part of some nice showdown court scenes.  Again, a middle of the road drama, but stars Margaret Lockwood, who was still just as awesome in the 1970s as she was in the 1930s & 40s.  On YT.

Father Brown “The Curse of the Golden Cross” (1974).  JM is an American archaeologist getting death threats; stars Kenneth More as Father Brown.  Just a note, though, that 1970s TV adaptations tended to be really really faithful and this is one of the stories where Chesterton comes out with an anti-semitic moment...  (JM was unconscious for that bit and, frankly, I envied him.)  But otherwise lots of angsting in yet another fake moustache about someone trying to kill him.

The Hanged Man “The Bridge Maker” (1975).  Confession time, I have v little idea what this one was about apart from Ray Smith being an unlikely Eastern European dictator, as this whole series went over my head and was not really my thing.  (Ask @mariocki they’re cleverer than me and liked it & can probably explain the plot!)  I don’t know if it’s available anywhere off the DVD but on a JM scale it was v good/different as he was a coldly villainous head of security & it wouldn’t be too bad to watch alone, but there was an overarching plot going on somewhere.

Doctor Who “Underworld” (1978).  This is famously one of the worst serials in the whole of classic Who, but largely because of behind-the-scenes circumstances, not the guest cast.  There is some nice stuff, though, esp in Ep1 (JM is a near-immortal alien who’d like to lay down and die but still the Quest is the Quest as they say... a lot) & it’s bound to pop up on YT or Daily Motion.  The DVD has extras that include v v brief bits of JM speaking in his actual real accent (which he otherwise does in NONE of these) & making jokes in character.  Honestly, though, this is the only DW where the behind-the-scenes doc is genuinely the most exciting bit as they desperately invented whole new technologies & methods of working to bring us this serial, and then everybody wished they hadn’t.

*** Enemy at the Door “Treason” (LWT 1978).  This is a weird episode but I love it lots - from a (v v good) series about the occupation of the Channel Islands.  (So obv warnings for WWII & Nazis.)  JM is a visiting German Generalmajor, but he’s come for a very unusual reason - to ask for help from his brother-in-law, a blackballed British army officer (Joss Ackland).  It’s all weird and low key and JM is doomed and nevertheless probably my favourite thing of his that isn’t SotT.

* The Racing Game 2 eps (1979).  Adaptation of Dick Francis’s first Sid Halley novel Odds Against (ep1) + 5 original stories for the series.  This is an interesting one - JM plays Sid’s father-in-law & they have a lovely relationship that’s central to the book BUT Dick Francis loved this adaptation and Mike Gwilym who played Sid and was inspired to write a sequel Whip Hand, which he tied in with TV canon - and adopted at least three of the cast, including JM.  Which means that all the Sid & Charles fanfic is also JM fic by default and it’s quite impressive. (There’s not much but it’s GOOD.)  On YT.

Bergerac “Treasure Hunt” (1981).  Not a major role, but pretty nice & it’s one a Christmas ep of the detective show (also set on the Channel Islands) that involved Liza Goddard’s cat burglar, which was always the best bit of Bergerac.

His guest spots in Rumpole of the Bailey (1991) “Rumpole a la Carte” and Dr Finlay (1994) are both really just cameos, but both series come round on Freeview; the Rumpole one is funny and the Dr Finlay one his last screen appearance before his death the following year.

Not worth getting just for JM: Subway in the Sky; Bill Brand and Oppenheimer.

These films only have cameos but some quite fun ones and they come around on terrestrial TV: The Damned (1962), The Evil of Frankenstein (1964) & (more briefly) Far From the Madding Crowd (1967).  (I think his cameo in Connecting Doors must be at least recognisable as someone spotted him in it just based off my gifs, but it’s not come my way yet.)  I’ve never been able to get hold of any of his radio performances, not even the 1990s one.

ETA: I forgot The Power Game! This is the one surviving series where he occurs as a semi-regular (at least until halfway through S1 when he went off to the BBC to be in the now-burninated Hunchback of Notre Dame).  This isn’t standalone, but it’s a good series and it is on YT.  See how you go with crackly old TV before you brave it but it’s the snarkiest thing ever made about people making concrete and stabbing each other in the back.  JM is a civil servant who tries to run the National Export Board and is plagued by Patrick Wymark and Clifford Evans as warring businessmen.

***

[... Well, now I just feel scary.  0_o  In my defence, I have been stuck home bored & ill for years, and often unable to watch modern TV while trying to cheer myself up with James Maxwell, so I didn’t watch all of this at once.  It just... happened eventually after SotT. /waves hand 

But if anyone feels the need to unfriend my quietly at this point, I understand. /o\]