#{ I don’t have a lot of options sadly rip }

[leondxs]

I’m officially moved in and it doesn’t feel real :)))) I moved in early

I still have stuff to move and the house isn’t nearly finished but it’s livable and that’s all that matters to me tbh. I have electrify and water finally.

[forget-you-morelike-fuck-you]

With This Ring- E.M. Pt. 2

THE TEARS I SHED WRITING THIS... NONSTOP. Thank you so much for the love on pt. 1. If you like what you read here, check out my masterlist!

Pt. 1 <;> Pt. 3 Honeymooners (Sequel)

Eddie and Y/N are getting married. (This part begins when the wedding is 10 months away and ends the night before the wedding.

TW- 18+ MINORS DNI, Smut, protected sex, edging, a little bit of angst, cursing, mentions of drugs, drinking, Eddie cuts his hair (I KNOW BUT I NEEDED IT OKAY,) pet names

Word Count- 4,039

Pairings- Eddie x Reader, Friend!Steve, Robin, and Nancy x Reader

(Gif not mine, credit to owner!)

Ten Months Until the Wedding

Your mom was thrilled when you came to family dinner with Eddie the Sunday after the show. You showed her the ring and mentioned it was one of Eddie’s that he changed for you. Your dad was a little less than excited at your choice of groom, but he still clapped Eddie on the shoulder, happy his baby is happy. Your mom went full throttle on your wedding plans. She had been putting a binder together for years for you to go over when the time came. A lot of the fashion was outdated at this point, but it was still so sweet of her to go through the trouble, so you looked through it anyway, finding some things you liked here and there. “Oh, we need to go dress shopping!” She cried, clapping her hands together. You didn’t know how to break it to her that you didn’t want to wear white, but you let it go for now, just glad that she’s happy for you.

Your dad didn’t say much, he just hugged you tight and whispered “Are you sure this is what you want, peanut?” You looked up at him with glistening eyes, nodding with all the surety in your heart, and he smiled. “Okay then. I’m happy if you’re happy.” He didn’t appreciate Eddie and his metal-head, stud-wearing, “Satan-worshipping” habits, but he knew that to Eddie, you were his sun, moon, and stars. That was enough for him.

Eight Months Until the Wedding

Wedding planning is… hard. There are so many tiny details to consider. You had already booked the venue, the catering, and the band, but the flowers were still up for debate, and you had yet to find the dress, and the invitation list is sort of a sore subject.

Eddie kept going back and forth on inviting his dad. He wanted to shove it in his dad’s face that he was doing well, getting married to “The most stunning being in all the universe!!” As he so eloquently put it, making you giggle with glee as he kissed your face, but he was also afraid that if he did show up, he’d ruin everything. You tried to rationalize both options to him so he could try to make better sense of it for himself, but it was still hard. You didn’t want him to be let down by his dad again, but you also didn’t have much of a desire to see him yourself. You tried to put yourself in his shoes, weigh the pros and cons of inviting him.

“We have to send these out soon, Eddie.” You say, the stack of invitations littering your dining table had been sitting there for weeks, ready to send out. He rubs his hand over his face, picking up the envelope with his dad’s name on it.

“I know, princess, I know.” His dad was still troubling him, even after thinking about it for so long. You let out a breath.

“Well, baby, if it helps, I don’t think you have to prove to your dad that you’re doing well without him. Even if he did know, would he even… care?” You try to put it delicately. You know it hurts him to think about, but you’d rather be honest than let Eddie continue to plague himself with the thought.

He flops down next to you on the couch, letting out an exasperated breath, staring at the envelope in his hands. “No,” He says quietly.

You touch his face, guiding him to look at you. “Then don’t let him haunt you like this. We don’t need him. You don’t need him, Eds.” He draws his eyes down to the envelope again.

“You’re right,” He says, almost sadly, then he rips it in two. He looks back up at you with a hopeful smile. “He doesn’t deserve to meet you anyway.” He throws the ripped halves onto the coffee table and grabs you, pulling you onto him as you burst into a fit of giggles.

Seven Months Until the Wedding

You walk out of the dressing room, your heart beating fast in your chest as you let your hands run over the soft satin and lace. Is this the one?

It took a good long while to find a blue dress, and the one you found hidden in the very back of the store, long forgotten about for its nonconformity. You step around the corner, looking expectantly at your party for their reactions, and the first thing you hear is gasp from your mom. “Oh, Y/N!” She cries. You glance over at Robin, whose jaw is dropped, and Nancy, her smile wider than you think you’ve ever seen it. You look into the mirror, stepping up on the pedestal. The attendant helping you straightens out the train, and you get to gaze at someone you don’t even recognize.

She looks kind of like you, sure, but there’s no way you could ever look this elegant. Even with the ill fit of the sample size, the girl staring back at you is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You don’t notice you’re beginning to cry until you let out a light sob.

“Mama, I feel so pretty.” You cry, and she rushes to hug you, her eyes misty with tears as well.

“Y/N, you are so pretty. You look like a bride. Even if it is, well, blue.” She was being supportive of what you want, but if she had her way, you’d look like a frosted vanilla cupcake.

“Y/N, Eddie’s gonna die when he sees you in this!” Robin gushes. The mental image of the growing reality of your wedding, meeting Eddie at the end of the aisle, is enough to make you want to melt into the floor.

“Wait, I have the final touch!” Your mom exclaims, going back over to the couch your entourage is sitting at, pulling a mess of white netting from her bag. It’s the veil she wore at her wedding. It’s about 5 feet long and adorned with pearls, and you can’t help the gasp that comes from your mouth as your mom clips it into your hair. “It can be your ‘something old.’” She muses. You nod enthusiastically, going to hug her as fresh tears fall.

“Thank you, mom.” You sob. There’s not a dry eye in the room as you let yourself look into the angled mirror again. All of the pieces are coming together. You don’t know how you’ll be able to wait seven long months for Eddie and you to start your life together.

Four Months Until the Wedding

Today is cake tasting day. You sit at the bakery with Eddie poring over the options for the cake, icing, and filling. It’ll have two tiers, so two flavors. You and Eddie are both partial to the chocolate cake and raspberry filling with the vanilla buttercream, but the other flavor is a tough one. He likes the carrot cake, which you find appalling, favoring the strawberry. Cream cheese icing seems the obvious choice for both, and you agree on a custard filling, but you banter back and forth over the merits of each of your chosen flavors.

“More people like strawberry than carrot, Eddie!” You say defensively.

“Who doesn’t like carrot cake? You can’t even taste the carrot! It’s just, like, cinnamon!” He says. You roll your eyes with a laugh.

“Alright, fine. You can have your carrot cake if I can pick the centerpieces.” That had been another point of debate between the two of you. Eddie preferred lilies and roses, It’s the most metal choice of them all, princess! And you preferred peonies and lavender. He mulls it over in his mind, pressing his lips together as he thinks.

“I guess that’s a pretty good compromise.” He agrees, and you let out a little sound of glee. You can just stick to the chocolate cake at the wedding, anyway. You reach over and give him a kiss.

“Thank you, love.” You say as you pull away.

“No,” Eddie says, taking another big bite of cake. “Thank you!” You reach over and wipe a bit of icing away from his cheek before licking it off. His eyes widen playfully. “Oh, you want some more? Come here!” He takes a piece of cake between his fingers and starts to shove it in your face, causing you to laugh as he smears it across your lips. You lick some of it off your face.

“Okay, maybe carrot cake isn’t that bad.” You admit. Eddie scoops some of the cake from your face this time, cleaning off his fingers with his tongue.

“Damn straight, baby!”

One Month Until the Wedding

You let out an exasperated sigh as you crumpled up another piece of paper, throwing it into the garbage can. Eddie was out doing Hellfire stuff with the guys, so it was an opportunity to sit and write your vows. Both you and Eddie were too much of romantics to just repeat something some officiant had written.

Eddie, the moment I met you, I knew you’d be the most important person of my life. You make me feel like I’m the only person in the world. You looked into me and you didn’t see who I was, but who I would be. I love that I can be myself I love the way we grow and change together, and I promise that no matter how much we change, I’ll still find my home in you. I love you more than books and stars and lightning. I love you more than music. I love you more than fairy tales, because you’re my fairytale. And I can’t wait for us to continue writing it, chapter to chapter, for the rest of our lives. I promise to be here when you’re angry, and when you’re sad, and I promise to be here when you’re so happy you could fly. I promise to always I can’t promise to always be my best self, because everyone has bad days, but I can promise that you’ll always bring out the best in me that I can give you. I promise to always remind you that you deserve everything you want, even when you don’t think you do. And above all, I promise to love you, body and soul, forever.

There. That’s it. That’s what you’ve been trying to say. You bite your lip as you read it over and over again, making sure it’s just right. When you hear Eddie at the door, you quickly fold up the paper and stick it in a book laying nearby so he won’t find it. As you walk to greet him, he opens his arms. You run and jump into them, attacking him with kisses.

“Hey baby?” He says, both of your laughter subsiding.

“What’s up, gorgeous?” He presses a warm kiss to your forehead.

“How would you feel… if I cut my hair for the wedding?” Your eyes go wide in surprise.

“Well,” You run your fingers through his curls. “I love your hair how it is, but I also love you how you are all the time. So if you want to cut your hair I’m not gonna be mad at you. It’s just another version of you for me to love.” He gives you a smile and another few kisses to your forehead. “Why are you thinking about it?” You ask him. He gives a bit of a shrug.

“I don’t know, this has been my hair since I was like, 16, and I feel like I need something fresh. Something… ‘husband-y.’” He explains.

“We’ll you’re gonna be ‘husband-y’ no matter what in a few weeks.” You remind him, and he smiles wide, his beautiful eyes shining down at you.

“That’s true.” He nods, and then he picks you up and spins you, both of you laughing again. “And you, my love, are gonna be ‘wife-y.’” He says playfully, grabbing at your ass.

“Oh, getting a little handsy, are we?” You giggle, hands threading through his hair.

“I’m just excited,” He whispers into your ear. “I can’t wait for you to be my wife.” It sends a shiver down your spine, and you begin feeling that dizzying electricity shooting through your veins.

“Mm, it sounds so nice when you say it like that.” You say against his skin, pressing wet kisses over his neck.

“Hm, how?” He leans to your other ear, nipping at your earlobe lightly. “My wife?” You melt into him, and you can’t even make it to the bedroom before collapsing together, both of you burning with desire.

Two Weeks Until the Wedding

You give Eddie one more kiss before you separate for your respective parties. Eddie’s been coming up with a wedding-based D&D campaign for weeks in preparation and he’s bringing all of the guys to your apartment to play it while you go out with your friends to do some karaoke.

Robin honks her horn as she, Nancy, and Steve yell out the windows in excitement when you make it to the parking lot. You hop in with them, sitting in the back next to Nancy and she pulls out a flimsy little veil attached to a plastic tiara. “I saw this at the party store the other day, and I thought it would make a great addition to the night!” She laughs, handing it to you. You clip it to your hair, laughing at how ridiculous you must look.

“Do I look like a bride?” You ask, theatrically posing for her. She nods at you, fully satisfied with her purchase.

“For sure, Y/N. You look great!” She says, making you laugh more. The four of you jam out in the car as you go to pick up your cousin, the last addition to your bridal party.

When you make your way into the bar, Steve goes to order drinks as you and Robin pour over the karaoke list. You make your choice and take your slip of paper up to the DJ, Robin following shortly. When you return, Steve’s brough beers for everyone, and as Robin makes her way back to the table, you all pick up your drinks. “To Y/N! May she never forget that even though she’s settling down, there’s no excuse to miss out on getting wild every once in a while!” Steve toasts, and the five of you let out a whoop and take a drink.

“You gonna sing something, Steve?” You ask over the loud music. He shakes his head like he was just asked to hold a porcupine.

“Oh, come on! It’s my bachelorette!” You plead, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“No way, Y/N! I am here as an observer only! Trust me, you don’t want me getting up there anyway.” He promises. You just roll your eyes with a smile, but Robin comes up next to you.

“We’ll get him up there, we’ve just gotta get a few drinks into him first. He’s a sucker for the Beach Boys.” She says, and you both laugh.

Your name gets called after about 20 minutes of laughing and drinking with your friends, and you go up and grab the microphone, getting ready to have some real fun. The familiar chords blast over the speakers, and you start jamming out. It’s one of yours and Eddie’s favorite songs to jam to together.

It’s early morning, the sun comes out. Last night was shaking and pretty loud. My cat is purring, it scratches my skin. So what is wrong with another sin? The bitch is hungry, she need to tell. So give her inches and feed her well. More day to come, new places to go. I’ve got to leave it’s time for the show!

You jump and dance as the chorus comes, your friends cheering you on from the back of the bar.

Here I am! Rock you like a hurricane! Here I am! Rock you like a Hurricane!

By the time you finish the song, you’re breathless, laughing like a crazy person as you go back to your party.

“That was awesome!” Steve shouts. He’s on his second drink now, and you’re counting the minutes until he’s loose enough to get up to sing himself.

Robin’s up next, and she dedicates Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper to you. She’s terrible, but it doesn’t matter. Who’s really good at karaoke anyway? It’s just about the fun of it Nancy follows that with Walking on Sunshine and you’ve had a couple of people give you drinks in congratulations of your big day. Once you really start feeling the effects, you start handing them to your friends, needing to keep your head if you wanna be able to remember this in the morning. Robin declines, having the keys to the car. You promise her next time you go out together, you’ll be the DD.

By the time Steve’s gone through 4 or 5 drinks, he’s ready to sing. He gets up there and sings Kokomo by the Beach Boys. He’s right, he’s terrible, but it’s nice to see him let loose.

When you get home in the early hours of the morning, you’re stumbling up the steps, drunk and hungry. You knock on the door, hoping Eddie is awake to let you in. You know your keys are in your purse but it’s too dark and your eyes are too blurry to find them.

When Eddie opens the door, you give him a sloppy kiss, so happy to be home. “Heyyy baby!” You slur. He chuckles, pulling the plastic tiara out of your hair.

“Did you have a good time?” He asks. You nod into his chest. He smells so good. You take a deep breath, taking it in.

“Yeah, lo’s of nice people gave me drinks cause I’m gettin’ married.” You give a sleepy laugh. “I’m soooo excited to get married, Eddie!” As he ushers you inside, closing the door behind you.

“Me too, princess.” He whispers into your hair. You go to put your fingers in his hair but it’s not where it usually is. You forgot he cut it off. You look up at him, smiling.

“Yer so pretty with your new hair, baby.” You tell him. He’s just so pretty. So so so pretty.

“Well thank you. I like it too.” He says.

“Eddie?” You ask.

“Hmm?”

“Can I have a snack?” He laughs again, guiding you to the couch.

“Yeah, pretty, then we’ll get you to bed, okay?” He says, walking to the kitchen.

“Okie dokie.” You lean your head against the arm of the couch. “Eddie.” You call.

“Yes?” He responds, the amused tone evident even in your drunken state.

“I luh you!” You hear him chuckle as he opens the fridge.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

The Day Before The Wedding

“The next time I’ve got my hands on you, you’re gonna be my wife.” Eddie mutters into your hair, his movements slow and deliberate as you moan beneath him.

“Fuck baby, you’re gonna be my husband.” You still can’t believe it, even when it’s less than 24 hours away. This is your goodbye before you go to your parent’s house for the night. Can’t have the bride and groom see each other before the wedding!

Eddie leaves tantalizing nips down your neck, careful not to leave any marks before tomorrow. As he moves in and out of you, you scratch down his back in delight. “Shit, princess, you feel so good.” He moans, one of his hands squeezing at your hip. “I won’t be able to last much longer like this baby.” He strokes your g-spot on every thrust and he’s getting you closer as seconds go by. You don’t want it to be over too soon though. You want to savor every last moment you can before leaving.

“Mm, let me get on top, Eddie.” You whisper, and he groans at the thought.

“Fuck Y/N, I just said I won’t be able to last much longer. What are you trying to do to me?” He gives a little laugh, but you roll together, him still seated inside you, and you run your hands up his chest, up to his face.

“Don’t worry, baby, I know what I’m doing.” Eddie’s hands attach to your hips as you begin to ride him, moving at a pace just a bit faster than what he set before.

“God, fuck, are you sure? Cause it seems like you’re trying to fuck the cum out of me right now.” He lets his head roll back with a deep moan. It’s evil what you’re about to do, but God, is it fun. As you both chase your highs, you pay attention to the way he breathes, the way he feels inside of you. Just as you feel him reach the breaking point, you stop moving, whimpering as you deny yourself an orgasm as well.

Eddie realizes what you’re doing and laughs incredulously, his pupils blown with lust “You sneaky little minx,” He says, but he’s not complaining. You let out a giggle before moving again, grinding your hips into his, both of you letting wanton sounds fall from your mouths as you make love.

But again, when you feel yourself nearing the edge, you stop. Eddie groans this time, and you can’t help but smile. “What am I gonna do with you?” He’s smiling too, enjoying this little game you’re playing with him. You shrug innocently.

“Marry me?” You offer. He bites his lip at that, and he reaches up to play with your breasts. You let out a whine at the feeling of his fingers brushing over your nipples.

“Fuck yeah, I am.” He grunts, his hands sliding down your body to return to your hips. Suddenly, he fucks up into you, making you let out a harsh whine. “And I’m gonna have you any. Way. I. Want!” He punctuates each word with a thrust, making your eyes roll back. He pulls your body to his chest and rolls you both back over, wanting to finish what you started.

“And right now, I want to cum with you, pretty. Is that okay with you?” He growls into your ear. This isn’t a game anymore. This just you surrendering to him, no other option. You bite your lip.

“Fuck, yes please!” You cry. He starts snapping his hips into you hard and fast, one hand on the back of your head, holding your foreheads together, the other on the mattress holding you both up.

“Keep those pretty eyes open for me sweetheart.” He demands between kisses. “I want you looking at me when we cum.” The sounds that fall from your lips are downright sinful, and Eddie is sure he’s died and gone to heaven, thanking every deity he can think of that decided he deserves this. That he deserves you.

He whimpers as he nears his release, knowing you’re close too as your walls begin to tighten around him. “Fuck Y/N,” He whines. “Fucking cum with me, baby.” His eyes bore into yours as you spasm around him, and it’s too much, he has to screw his eyes shut as he releases into you. You’re both breathing heavily, coming down from your intense orgasms. When he slides out of you, he takes the condom he wears off and ties it up, wrapping it in a tissue and placing it on the nightstand to throw away in a few minutes.

“I guess you’ve gotta get ready to go now?” He pouts, pressing kisses to your chest as he lays in the crook of your arm. You look down at him and rub your cheek against the top of his head.

“Yeah, probably. It’s getting late. We need to get some sleep. Big day tomorrow!” You try to ease the sting of having to leave him.

“Alright, alright.” He concedes, pressing more, warm kisses to your electrified skin. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He reaches up and you card your fingers through his hair as you kiss him deeply. As you pull away, you give him a little smile.

“That’s right. I’ll be the one in blue.”

@stormseyes

[prerodinu]

Lyric has brought some of their work with them to the conversation, balancing it on a knee and bending pages as they work. It's both a distraction so they don't have to look at him directly and a genuine check on their to-do list for today; pen tucked into their ear, they have a serious but anxious look. "Like---listen. I'm not saying you can't go looking around Earth for a partner, but I think it's... I don't think I'm the kind of person for that." They loosen a page and take their pen to circle something. "You shouldn't pick a first option. There's better people out there than me, with more political experience, who would be happy to take you up on the whole prince thing. Especially if you're looking for someone to succeed your mother, or because you want your own family... neither of those things are me. I'm not even a girl." They lift their head to look at Rarlith, but don't quite make it. Their eyes move off to the side, so it's in his direction but not at him. "I... appreciate your enthusiasm. But you need not tolerate me solely to fulfill that. I'm happy to be your friend and assist you in finding someone you actually like. A princess, or whatever your choice is." // :) Rarlith

He was bored, fingers twisting and flicking a page back and forth as he aimlessly stared in front of him. There wasn’t much he could do and another shipment wouldn’t be due for a week. Closer to home. He was so close. His body vibrated with the need to get ready. But then eyes looked upon the other as they meandered over to him. His heart stopped for a moment. The tilting voice was a soothing balm to his soul, he relaxed back watching them with sharp blue eyes.

Honestly, he could watch them talk about anything but the words only caught on when they started talking about options. His mouth opened and then closed. Is that what they thought of him? That he was looking for someone to succeed his mother? That they aren’t women, person enough for him? He stood up, the book falling to the floor in a loud clap.

“Tolerate you?!” He seethed, his fingers clenching and unclenching as he kept up a brisk back and forth back and forth pace in front of them. “Never in my life, and it has been long and hard, have I ever been disrespected as you have done to me at this moment.” He paused looking at them a growl ripping through his throat as he turned around like he was going to leave but stopped and pointed at them.

“I am not simply tolerating your presence. I am not looking for a princess. I actually like you! I have since I met you! Lyric-“ He frowned dropping his hands at his sides blinking at them shaking his head sadly. “I have spent my whole life, trying to find a cure for the ailments of my home world. I have spent years hearing I would marry not for love but for the simple act of moving my people along. I would do my duty as a good son, a good prince. I would be a-a- Yecirs- I don’t know your word for it but a donner for a baby! All I am good for is my genes, my genetic makeup to make strong babies!!” He paces again, his claws curling to rip into his skin, blood trailing as he growls.

“Then I come here, to this world where I could find love. Find a mate. Someone to call a star of my world. For love. Not someone to think of me for the babies I could give them. But for me.” He paused looking at them with a frown on his face. “If my ship could be fixed I do not want to leave. I want to stay, even if the person I merely tolerate does the same for me.” He shook his head looking down at his hands. His chest hurt and he could feel his marks fluttering under the halo shrowd.

“I don’t merely tolerate you Lyric. You are a light to my life I didn’t have before. I am sorry that I didn’t see I was merely making sure you tolerated my presence.” He glanced at them before bowing low dipping his head.

For all he had done, for all he had studied he wasn’t sure he had ever come cross something like this before. He prided himself on a lot of things but being an interloper and pushing someone to be around him wasn’t one.

“I shall make myself scarce and when you need me Lyric I shall endeavor to help you wherever I can.” He came up from the bow, shoving his hands into his robes and moving his way past them towards the room he had, he’s rather be alone than encroach on someone else.

[professional-benaddict]

Okay so what comes next? (Sister Donna idea)

Does Peter stomp off into the ocean to get some space only for things to get a bit out of control and he begins to struggle against the rip tide?

Either tony has to jump in while Stephen is paralyzed by the overwhelming feelings

OR without even thinking Stephen finds his redemption in Peter

original post in question

The first scenario would definitely end in a tense situation. Obviously, Tony and Stephen have to make sure Peter is okay. He is, luckily, but Stephen is acting weird still. He looks panicky, and maybe even rushes back to the beach house and Peter and Tony find him in the middle of a panic attack. Tony takes charge and helps Stephen calm down while Peter watches.

“How is me almost drowning about you, Stephen?! You ass! Honestly?!”

“Peter!” Tony shouts. “Stephen’s sister drowned!”

And just like that, the cat is out of the bag. The trio talk till well past midnight. Stephen tells Peter about Donna and how seeing Peter in nearly the same situation triggered something that he has bottled up and hidden for years. There is a lot of crying, mostly from Stephen, but Peter and Tony also have their moments. Apologies are exchanged, as well as a lot of hugs.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Stephen. I never knew…”

“Yeah, well- I don’t talk about it.” Stephen smiles sadly.

——

Second option, Stephen gets his redemption. He saves Peter and they both get back to the beach where Tony is. Tony fusses over them both, but they are both okay.

But, Stephen doesn’t tell Peter about Donna. It remains a secret between him and Tony. Later on in the evening, Tony gets a short moment with Stephen alone.

“Stephen, tell him.”

“No, I don’t talk about it. And even today, I’m not even sure if it was the right choice to tell you, Tony.” Stephen admits. Tony looks at him, heartbroken. “I just don’t talk about it.”

[gonegrove]

this was originally sent to me via an anonymous ask on my old blog hardestgrove and i’m reposting it here pretty much unchanged or editted

i know you are one of few who ship billy/chrissy and i was wondering if you have any hc's of billy helping chrissy through her eating disorder? part of me also believes that billy has issues with his body and possibly has an eating disorder himself to some degree. -- anon

meant to reply to this last night but i went insane and detoured sorry my bad

it’s my sacred duty to champion the cunningrove agenda so happy to get into this shit! I’ll also preface this with saying I don’t really have personal experience with these topics, I’m working off of knowledge from osmosis and research so if anything feels incorrect, off or bullshity that would be why and I apologize for that rip.

first off I think Billy is skirting what would be considered a more clinical issue. He engages in problematic eating habits but ones that are more “acceptable” like strict dieting (as much as he can with Neil dictating the menu and pantry), fasting for weight loss, ignoring certain foods in favor of others because they’re better for bulking up regardless of his nutritional needs etc. I think you’re right that Billy has body issues. I think there’s room on how you want to interpret them though and I pick whichever I think makes the most sense for what I’m working on at the moment. I think the two main options are:

Billy has been put down so much, including comments about his appearance growing up, that he struggles to see himself as attractive as he is and works on himself as a means of gaining control somewhere in his life and making himself feel better.

Billy knows he looks good and is confident in his looks. He is obsessive about his appearance and maintaining it because it’s something he can control and it’s something that cannot be easily taken from him that he can take pride in. It’s a way to both express himself and make himself feel better. His body is the only thing he really has that’s undeniably his.

I think it’s also very important to note that with the escalation of the AIDS crisis there were shifts in the queer and straight communities about what was the most attractive look for a man (the shift was more notable in the queer community tho). In the 70s men like Bowie who were thinner and androgynous had much more sway on the mass concept of sex appeal but with AIDS being a wasting disease there was reignited interest in the whole virile macho man look. I see Billy very much as bisexual which would make him sadly one of the most vulnerable groups to hate on all sides. Billy’s father already has a very stunted, toxic and traditional view on masculinity which already emphasizes a malformed version of the virile masculine man. Not to mention the desire to bulk up and get strong so no one else can make him feel weak or helpless ever again.

So it’s all just this big cocktail of shit on his end, a lot of it just simmering there likely never to be directly confronted due to the differences in how these issues are treated between men and women.

I think walking into Hawkins Billy has more aware of eating disorders than most guys his age (or maybe even people in town idk) because he’s from a bigger city and knew more girls. I wrote elsewhere in one cunningrove that one girl at his school got taken away in an ambulance because she’d passed out from starvation at school. Billy used to be more keyed into girl world than the other guys back in San Diego (for dating/sex reasons let’s not give him TOO much credit lol) so it’s something he has this kind of vague passing understanding of eating disorders as it is.

Her eating disorder is frankly one of the reasons he probably started seriously paying attention to her/spending time with her. At first he paid attention to her because she was hot and he was planning out his socio-political moves to cement his place as the new king around town. But then he noticed how she’d bail mysteriously after she had a big/decent sized lunch but didn’t after tiny/nonexistent ones and how when not in her cheer uniform all her clothes are on the baggy and covering end– as much as she can get away with at least.

Billy has no faith in others. He firmly believes that no one will ever come and help you, that you have to do it yourself if you want it done. So he knows that even if someone other than him has noticed she’s probably got a problem here they’re not gonna do shit to help. It doesn’t sit well with him, she’s probably one of the nicest people in town it shouldn’t take her needing to be hospitalized for people to realize she needs help. So he takes it on himself. Because fuck that shit. Billy doesn’t know how to be just friends with girls though, this is literally isn’t a skill or mentality he allowed to develop growing up so he dates her. He woos and seduces her and officially gets her under his wing of protection and into the space he’s socially allowed to like… Feel Anything In.

One of the first things he does (with out her knowledge ofc) is go at look up books on eating disorders. Billy’s smart and knows he’s out of his depth and not interested in talking out his ass and making it worse. There’s likely not a lot on how to like, help your loved ones in those books though, just the technical jargon. So he tries to put himself in her shoes and figure out what he/Chrissy would want– which ofc seeing has he does in fact have a certain amount of body issues himself is uh, easier than anticipated lol.

One of the things he does is just tell her often how pretty she is, in different ways and phrasings so if one doesn’t land the next will. He picks out all her flaws with the seasoned eye of a man with a mean streak and then comments on them positively– how it’s cute that her teeth aren’t perfect etc. He also makes her to comment positively on her other traits like kindness and intelligence and her skills. He works his ASS off to be a safe space for her, to keep his temper at bay and be as gentle as he can physically manage. To you know, not be Billy the Asshole with her at least. It gets easier with time as it becomes more natural for him to allow himself to be open and gentle.

Eventually she feels safe to really open up to him and he shares his own home issues with her so she doesn’t feel alone, so she knows that he gets it. He’s very gentle about urging her to eat just a little more (he kisses her hair and murmurs “just one more carrot for me baby”) but doesn’t get on her case if she can’t manage it. He distracts her from the need to purge or works her through talking about it or helps her find healthy things to do when it hits her. Whatever he can. He lets her know he’s here for her, that he’s not judging, that he gets it and that if she needs him he’s here.

He becomes her backbone until she can finally let herself use her own. Contradicting her mother every time she makes a comment about Chrissy’s looks/weight (because you know she can’t keep her mouth shut even in public/in front of a “guest”). And he does it with the “no nonsense I’m a hardass” tone he has. That’s his fucking girlfriend you’re talking about bitch, no one talks bad about his fucking girlfriend (Billy’s possessive to the point he puts himself higher on the list than his partner’s mother? it’s more likely than you think!). He includes Chrissy in his calculations on what he’s gonna need when he moves out because the second she’s 18 he’s getting her the fuck out of there and he doesn’t take no for an answer on it. Momentarily taking advantage of her doormat nature and his own naturally intimidating vibes? Sure. But even Chrissy admits later she needed the kick in the ass. Her mother was abusive but a known element, leaving home is new and scary and unknown and Chrissy had so little faith in herself she didn’t think she could survive leaving until she was forced to. Then she realized how much better life was.

That’s likely when she really starts to make the most progress because she’s so much freer to make choices and already feels much braver having made such a big step. Plus she has Billy at her back as a safety net, she can take risks and be brave because she knows he’s there to catch her and her increasing confidence helps her believe that she really is good enough as is. If at all possible she’d ideally get professional help as well and he’d help her with that too but that’s all very determined by like, finances and shit.

I could probably go on more but this is already Very Long soooo

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft Edition, Fundertainment Land Arc FINAL

GM: A deep and dark hole, darker and deeper than any hole seen before, and at the bottom lays the ultimate horror; a stillborn dead godling, a true lord of the dead. One that has never been alive. Jonni: “Yeah, yeah, we’ve all seen Pat Sajak.” And suddenly, Gusto, Marshal's griffin mount, is there, gnawing on his head. Again. "Nope, nope. There has to be another way down there. I can't see the bottom, if there is a bottom.” “Maybe it’s a leap of faith? Eddie, you jump first.” You suddenly hear deep and ominous laughter from the hole. “Yeah, no.” GM OOC: Rule number 1 of evil baby hole. Do not mock evil baby hole. OOC: Unless say, you wanted evil baby to come out of its hole. Gorbash: “Okay flight options: Poom and I have our brooms, Marshal has a griffon gnawing on his head, Jonni has rocket feet.” Nyx: "You nasty thing, if that was a friendly warning it was disgusting. You really are just a big baby.” Nyarlathotep: "Probably of the ‘man’ variety.” Jonni: “Please. Do you how many ominous red lights in dark holes I’ve seen?” Poom: "Why are there red lights in said holes? Wait, I don't want to know.” Poom gets on her broom. Azathoth: "And your little dog, too.” GM OOC: So you guys are heading down the murder hole. “Go with your nerd heart.” “Just remember, what happens in the vessel, stays in the vessel.” There's a lot of bones, and heads on pikes, mostly elves and Tabaxi. Poom: "Homey decor.” GM: No sign of Danzi. "Danzi either ran, or got absorbed by the dead godling.” “Or the death tyrant.” GM: Or maybe he was never here at all. OOC: No, he was here. I mind-crushed him. "Gorbash. You are NOT eating the Atropal.” "This isn't your average everyday cold...This is...Advanced cold.” A giant rotted corpse of a baby, bigger than any of you, its milky dead eyes starring right through you. Jonni: “Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen Danny DeVito.” "I am the Atropal. But you may call me SUPER KAMI ATROPAL.” The hooded figures pull back their hoods, revealing horrible faces twisted in horror with black empty eyes. Poom: "It's like kindergarten all over again.” Holy flame lights up the chamber as Marshal's slab-sword ignites. It gets even brighter as Gorbash ignites his Sunblade. And just slightly brighter as Poom puts on mirrored shades. “Beacon of Hope!” Marshal shouts, as each of his allies feels the warmth of a blue corgi trying to give them kisses. OOC: Can't smite the shit out of them if I don't get closer. OOC: I think Stav made them so dead they are alive again. "If you want someone murdered right, DO IT YOURSELF!” GM: *rips off shirt* Come on. I CAN TAKE IT. I CAN TAKE IT. Kentucky fried Atropal. Sadly not even in the bottom 5 of Marshals worst dishes. Gorbash: “I needed practice for the next god-bomination on my shit list. You were an okay warm-up.” Suddenly the room is full of spectral figures; Park patrons, workers, elvish and Tabaxi nobles. Jonni: “Ladies.” "You all are fired. Go in what peace you can find in the Domains of Dread.” "Why do so many bosses rig their places to collapse after they are defeated?” "Scab labor.” "Hey Jonni, when’s the last time we did it on top of a pile of our vanquished enemies?” “What day is it? Friday? So last week I think.” “Damn, that long?” Jonni vaporizes a guard beating an ice cream mascot. Edmund: "This is insane!” Poom: "Do you mean more than usual?” "...." Edmund gestures with one hand, like weighing a scale. Gunder: ”THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Jonni: “I need you to be more specific.” Poom: “Why?" And they proceed to choke each other before the YetiTarrasque steps on them. Poom: "They tied.” Jonni: “Guys, we’ll catch up. Vesh ‘n me are gonna do it on that burning carousel to warm up for later.” Poom pees on something. Marshal: "My Lord HADES! the great evil upon the Domains is banished. but many need a new home worth living. In thy great name, I would lead this exodus." Jonni leans over to Gorbash, “He knows where his boss works, right?” Gorbash: “He's on a roll, let him have this.” Gorbash: “So Marshal, you just razed the birthplace of your nightmares to the ground... How do you feel?” "I'm pretty sure eating there gave me a parasite, and I'm a genie. My stomach is a literal furnace.” “It’s true. She got acid reflux once. Thirteen people died.” As you watch, a huge metal tripod suddenly emerges from the forest, moving slowly towards you, it emits a deafening noise. Azathoth: "B-movie territory, woohoo!” It looms over, and fires a blast of concentrated heat at Vesh, which....does nothing. Vesh: ”HA! You think thats gonna hurt me? I bathe in hotter shit than that. You're gonna have to do a lot better....” Then it tries stepping on her. Vesh: ”OH CRAP ITS DOING BETTER.” Jonni: “No one steps on my wife but me! And maybe Crushinator, if she’s into it!” Poom, broom, vroom. OOC: Exchange at work: Co-worker: Are you a licensed professional? Me: No, but I am an enthusiastic amateur! OOC: Ever sell any haunted houses? OOC2: That’s Realtors. OOC: Ah.....Ever appraise any haunted houses? OOC2: None that anyone told me they thought were, but I know someone that did. Fun fact, you can be sued if you sell a house you believe to be haunted and you don’t disclose it. OOC: You can’t kill Real Estate. Realtor: “So how was the home?” Family: “Oh it was fine except for the HORRIBLE MONSTER HAG NEXT DOOR.” Realtor: “Oh right, her. But aside from that it’s fine right?” Guy: “Alright real talk, my boss caught me writing inappropriate comments about him in the bathroom stall so now I get all the creepy nightmare houses. Believe me when I say that this is the least terrible place I could have showed you. Be grateful I didn't show you the pig house. I lost three people giving a tour of that house.” OOC: I'm here. What'd I miss? GM OOC: The evil hole cabbage burped on you.

[madam-whim]

Ough, 20 or 22 <3

(for whichever pairing you'd like! As tbh idk which ones would make a funny height difference in stairs-)

I picked Naemon and Helcarion for this one!! Also, sadly, the actual kiss somehow ended up not being the most important thing, but the prompt fit so nicely into something I had already planned anyway, but never got around to writing until now!

Thank you for asking!!

_______________________

Naemon woke to the sound of crying.

That in itself was not unusual. With his recurring nightmares of his time in Coldharbour, it happened quite a lot. But this time was different – this time it wasn’t him crying, and that was cause for immediate concern, because it was a distinctly elven sound, not one a fledgeling gryphon could produce, which ruled out Belawel, still resting in his makeshift nest, and left only Helcarion.

Naemon was fully awake in an instant as dread settled in his stomach, and he grappled with the sheets for what felt like an eternity before he finally managed to untangle himself from the fabric to the point where he could sit up and turn to check on his husband. Summoning a magelight with a flick of his fingers, he tried to suppress the oncoming panic. Was Helcarion in pain? What if he was sick? Poisoned, perhaps? They had their fair share of enemies, after all, even here in Alinor… And Naemon was no healer, he had no idea what to do…

When the magelight finally allowed him a good look at his husband’s side of the bed, he found him curled in on himself, shaking and with tears running down his face even in his sleep. His heart nearly stopped – if whatever was ailing him was this bad, how was he supposed to help?

But then Helcarion sobbed and weakly muttered a few words that sounded like “Please… don’t…” and Naemon, startled, realized that his husband was simply dreaming.

It was a good thing insofar as it was hardly life-threatening, and the fear receded at least to a degree. It left him with only two options, though – he could let the nightmare run its course, hoping that it would fade away on its own, or he could attempt to wake Helcarion. He knew from experience though that the latter option came with undesirable consequences sometimes. He had almost broken Helcarion’s nose on one occasion, when the healer had tried to wake him from one of his Coldharbour Memories, as they had taken to calling them, and he had definitely hurt himself when he’d abruptly come out of a nightmare, too disoriented to understand where he was, trying to rip off chains that were no longer real. Knowing this, he hesitated – he had no desire to see his husband hurt because he woke him too quickly.

Only that Helcarion was already hurting right now, and Naemon could hardly stand it. “Wait… I can fix… I promise...” he muttered now, his hands grasping at thin air, as if trying to reach for something that was no longer there. Or someone, perhaps, Naemon thought. No matter which one it was, though, Helcarion should not have to go through this. He had to wake him somehow. “Hel?” he asked quietly, keeping his voice as gentle as possible. “No… no, please…” Helcarion whined, and Naemon had no idea if he’d even heard him.

He knew that sometimes, he’d hear Helcarion in his own nightmares. Once he was awake, he could never remember, but the healer had told him they had what could almost be called full conversations at times. Most of the time, he didn’t dare imagine the horrors he told his husband about, not even aware of when he was doing it. Now, though, he had no idea if Helcarion had been able to hear his words or even feel his presence, or if it was merely chance that he’d spoken right after Naemon had attempted to reach him.

“Darling?” Naemon tried again, his hands hovering uselessly over Helcarion’s shoulder. “Helcarion, you’re dreaming…”

For a moment, there was nothing but silence, and then Helcarion gasped, almost sounding like he’d been physically hit, and then the sound turned into another sob, worse than the last. “Naemon, don’t…”

Whatever options Naemon had considered to try in order to wake his husband without startling him were immediately forgotten. Helcarion was dreaming about him, and it was hurting him. Naemon could not bear it for a moment longer, and so he did the only thing he could – he curled up next to his husband and pulled the other mer into his arms, despite not even knowing what it was that some dream version of him was doing to the man he loved. He only knew that he needed to comfort him somehow, pull him back into the reality they’d built together, the one where Naemon was still making up for the all the mistakes he’d made years and years ago.

“Wake up, darling,” he whispered into Helcarion’s ear, rubbing soothing circles into his back all the while. “I’m here, I’ve got you, you’re only dreaming...”

He had no idea whether it was his voice that finally caused the other to wake, or if it had been the movement or the touch, but Naemon felt the exact moment Helcarion woke up. Felt the shuddering breath against his chest, felt the way his husband clung to him, fingers tightening in the fabric of the shirt he wore to sleep. Whatever had happened in this dream, it had shaken Helcarion to the core, and so Naemon simply kept running his hands over his back, waiting for him to calm down enough to either say something or fall back asleep. That happened sometimes, too, he knew, when one was too exhausted to talk – or if one simply wanted to forget.

They laid there for what felt like hours, though it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, when Helcarion did speak. “’m sorry,” he sighed. “Nightmare.” “I had gathered as much,” Naemon whispered back. “You don’t need to apologize, Hel. Not for this, not to me.” “I woke you up.” “And how many times have I done that to you, hm?” “It’s different for you,” Helcarion replied. “You have a reason for it. Me… well. It was just silly.” “Nothing that makes you sound like that is silly,” Naemon insisted. “Darling, you were crying in your sleep, begging me not to do… well, something. You weren’t very specific, I’m afraid.”

He could practically feel Helcarion wince, though he could not see it with the way his husband’s face was buried against his chest. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry you had to hear that.” “Hel, it’s not nothing. If you want to talk about it, I will listen. I neglected to do that for years, I will not repeat that mistake.”

Helcarion hesitated for but a moment before burying his face against Naemon’s chest. “It’s… it’s really stupid,” he said then, “but in the dream, you… you left me. I came home from work, and there you were, standing on the stairs, saying that you never really loved me, and that you just needed me while you… got back on your feet. I think those were your words.”

Naemon let out a quiet curse. “You know I would never say that, right?” he asked then. “Dreams don’t come out of nowhere, usually, and if I’ve done something to make your mind come up with… this, then it is me who needs to apologize. I must have done something to cause this.”

At that, Helcarion pulled back just a bit so that he could look at Naemon. “No. Love, no. This isn’t your fault. I’m just afraid of losing you again, in some way or another, and sometimes I dream about it. That’s all.” “It has happened before?” Naemon muttered, wide-eyed, and Helcarion actually managed a chuckle at that. “Of course that is what you would fixate on.” “Why would I not?” Naemon mumbled. “I don’t… it’s difficult, seeing you like this, when I can hardly do anything to help.”

That Helcarion would dream of such things at all was concerning, and no matter what he said, Naemon knew that the way he’d abandoned Helcarion when he’d married Estre had damaged their relationship to a point where it had almost been beyond saving. It all felt like a lifetime ago, now – but some wounds, Naemon knew, never fully healed.

But Helcarion, too kind as always, didn’t blame him for any of it and instead merely held onto Naemon as tightly as he could, tangling their legs together as well. “Don’t worry about it,” he muttered. “It happens now and then. But not often.”

Still, Naemon could feel him trembling, and he understood all too well – the fear of being left behind was a horrible thing, one he was painfully familiar with, and he would not allow Helcarion to simply pretend that it did not bother him. “As your husband, I reserve the right to worry about you whenever I please,” he huffed, running his fingers through Helcarion’s hair. He was still anxious, he had to admit – he hated seeing Helcarion hurt, and he was not nearly as good at comforting him as he would have liked, and so his only choice was to hold his husband close and hope that it would be enough. “I love you, and I’ll stay with you for as long as you want me to, and I will worry about you whenever I deem it necessary.”

At that, Helcarion laughed – it was a small laugh, uncertain, but it was there, and Naemon allowed himself to smile back at the mer in his arms. “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep again?” he asked then.

Helcarion seemed to consider the question for a moment. “I might, if you keep holding me like that,” he said then. “That,” Naemon smiled, “can certainly be arranged. Rest, darling.”

And perhaps it took a while, longer than he would have liked, but when Helcarion’s breathing finally evened out again and he dozed off and the magelight flickered and faded away, Naemon finally allowed himself to sleep as well.

~*~

Helcarion, of course, had refused to stay home in the morning, despite the dark circles under his eyes. They’d become more prominent again lately, Naemon had noticed, and he didn’t like it. There was a reason for it, of course, other than a night of fitful sleep. As far as he knew, there had been a severe accident in Alinor’s Mages Guild chapter, some experiment gone awry, and Helcarion was not only the best healer around, but also an expert when it came to magically inflicted injuries. And if Naemon knew one thing about his husband, it was that his sense of duty prevented him from resting more than strictly necessary until all his patients had fully recovered. This, in turn, meant that he would often come home exhausted and with a headache from burning through his magicka reserves, and the fact that he had not slept well during the night could hardly be called an improvement.

Naemon had therefore decided that since Alwinarwe did not need him today (he suspected she mostly kept him around so he could make her duties bearable by offering snide commentary in a voice low enough not to be heard by most, anyway) and he had more than enough time to cook, he’d prepare a stew he knew Helcarion loved, the recipe for which he’d wheedled out of Faevaral. Said stew was already done, with Naemon carefully keeping it warm using just the tiniest flame spell. His magic teachers would probably have ripped their hair out, had they known that he had specifically modified the spell for this exact purpose.

There was also a cake in the oven, which had to be done just about now, Naemon supposed. He’d timed it so that it would be ready maybe half an hour before Helcarion was due home. He’d also already carried everything they’d need upstairs – bowls, plates, glasses, and a bottle of red wine Ayrenn had brought from a recent journey to Covenant territory. They could have made use of their dining room, which was closer to the kitchen, but it was really more suitable for hosting parties than it was for a quiet evening with just the two of them. They preferred to eat in their living room most days instead, with a fire crackling next to them. It was far more comfortable that way, they had decided, even if it meant they had to carry dishes around the house quite often.

Naemon was about halfway down the stairs, on his way back to the kitchen to get the cake after depositing the wine for later, when he heard the front door open. Given that he was not expecting a visit from either his cousin or his husband’s parents, who were the ones with the spare keys, this could only mean Helcarion was home early and would be walking into the hallway leading to the stairs any moment.

The stairs which Naemon was still standing on like a complete fool.

Cursing quietly, he rushed down the stairs, not keen on Helcarion seeing something that probably mirrored his too recent nightmare. It was just Naemon’s luck, though, that he managed to trip over his own feet in his haste to get off the stairs, barely managing to hang onto the banister.

That was how Helcarion found him mere moments later, drawn by the thumping sound created by a fully grown mer almost falling down the stairs and definitely landing on his knees in a fashion that could not at all be called dignified.

“Um… what are you doing, love?” Helcarion greeted him after he’d stared at him for a moment. Naemon was well aware he probably looked ridiculous – on his knees and clinging to the banister with one hand. He was not even completely sure he hadn’t pulled a muscle or two on the way down. Still, Helcarion probably expected an answer. “If I tell you, you’ll laugh at me,” he said, wincing. Helcarion watched him struggle back onto his feet with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not going to, I promise. Are you alright, though? You didn’t hit your head or anything of the sort?” “I’m fine, really,” Naemon reassured him. “My pride has taken a hit, I fear, but it’ll heal. I simply didn’t expect you home this early, and I was going down the stairs when you opened the door, and I am well aware it sounds completely asinine, no need to point it out to me, but I didn’t want you to come home and see me standing on them, which… I am still doing, I...”

He didn’t get any further than that before understanding flashed across Helcarion’s face and he crossed the room, gently cupped Naemon’s face with both hands and pulled him down for a kiss.

Naemon instantly found himself kissing back, too relieved to do much else. He’d been so worried Helcarion would see nothing but a repeat of his nightmare, further reinforcing his fears, but it appeared that there was no cause for concern, at least not anymore. His near-accident had at least served that particular purpose, it seemed, and so Naemon allowed himself to relax and enjoy the feeling of having the man he loved close to him, because no matter how long they’d been together at this point, he never really seemed to grow used to it, always cherishing every single touch.

It was different, being kissed like this, still standing on the last step of the staircase – he and Helcarion were almost exactly the same height, and so having to lean down to kiss his husband was a whole new experience. He didn’t quite know what to do with his hands, and so he simply buried his fingers in Helcarion’s hair once more. Judging by the way the healer sighed into the kiss, he did not mind in the slightest.

“You,” Helcarion said when they finally broke apart for air, smiling up at Naemon, “are entirely too sweet. I’ve never had someone falling down stairs for me.” Naemon shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. “Don’t get too used to it, yes? It’s not exactly a delightful experience.” Helcarion smiled at him fondly before pulling him in for another kiss. “Speaking of delightful experiences...” he said then. “I do believe it smells like cake!” “Oh, damn it,” Naemon muttered. He had, in fact, completely forgotten about his little baking project. “I, ah… should see about salvaging that. It does not smell burned yet, at least...” “Well then,” Helcarion said, grinning, “let’s go and salvage it together, shall we?”

With the nightmare forgotten for the time being, the two of them left the staircase behind and walked back to the kitchen hand in hand.

[hardestgrove]

i know you are one of few who ship billy/chrissy and i was wondering if you have any hc's of billy helping chrissy through her eating disorder? part of me also believes that billy has issues with his body and possibly has an eating disorder himself to some degree.

meant to reply to this last night but i went insane and detoured sorry my bad

it's my sacred duty to champion the cunningrove agenda so happy to get into this shit! I’ll also preface this with saying I don’t really have personal experience with these topics, I’m working off of knowledge from osmosis and research so if anything feels incorrect, off or bullshity that would be why and I apologize for that rip.

first off I think Billy is skirting what would be considered a more clinical issue. He engages in problematic eating habits but ones that are more "acceptable" like strict dieting (as much as he can with Neil dictating the menu and pantry), fasting for weight loss, ignoring certain foods in favor of others because they're better for bulking up regardless of his nutritional needs etc. I think you're right that Billy has body issues. I think there's room on how you want to interpret them though and I pick whichever I think makes the most sense for what I'm working on at the moment. I think the two main options are:

Billy has been put down so much, including comments about his appearance growing up, that he struggles to see himself as attractive as he is and works on himself as a means of gaining control somewhere in his life and making himself feel better.

Billy knows he looks good and is confident in his looks. He is obsessive about his appearance and maintaining it because it's something he can control and it's something that cannot be easily taken from him that he can take pride in. It's a way to both express himself and make himself feel better. His body is the only thing he really has that’s undeniably his.

I think it's also very important to note that with the escalation of the AIDS crisis there were shifts in the queer and straight communities about what was the most attractive look for a man (the shift was more notable in the queer community tho). In the 70s men like Bowie who were thinner and androgynous had much more sway on the mass concept of sex appeal but with AIDS being a wasting disease there was reignited interest in the whole virile macho man look. I see Billy very much as bisexual which would make him sadly one of the most vulnerable groups to hate on all sides. Billy’s father already has a very stunted, toxic and traditional view on masculinity which already emphasizes a malformed version of the virile masculine man. Not to mention the desire to bulk up and get strong so no one else can make him feel weak or helpless ever again.

So it’s all just this big cocktail of shit on his end, a lot of it just simmering there likely never to be directly confronted due to the differences in how these issues are treated between men and women.

I think walking into Hawkins Billy has more aware of eating disorders than most guys his age (or maybe even people in town idk) because he’s from a bigger city and knew more girls. I wrote elsewhere in one cunningrove that one girl at his school got taken away in an ambulance because she’d passed out from starvation at school. Billy used to be more keyed into girl world than the other guys back in San Diego (for dating/sex reasons let’s not give him TOO much credit lol) so it’s something he has this kind of vague passing understanding of eating disorders as it is.

Her eating disorder is frankly one of the reasons he probably started seriously paying attention to her/spending time with her. At first he paid attention to her because she was hot and he was planning out his socio-political moves to cement his place as the new king around town. But then he noticed how she’d bail mysteriously after she had a big/decent sized lunch but didn’t after tiny/nonexistent ones and how when not in her cheer uniform all her clothes are on the baggy and covering end-- as much as she can get away with at least.

Billy has no faith in others. He firmly believes that no one will ever come and help you, that you have to do it yourself if you want it done. So he knows that even if someone other than him has noticed she’s probably got a problem here they’re not gonna do shit to help. It doesn’t sit well with him, she’s probably one of the nicest people in town it shouldn’t take her needing to be hospitalized for people to realize she needs help. So he takes it on himself. Because fuck that shit. Billy doesn’t know how to be just friends with girls though, this is literally isn’t a skill or mentality he allowed to develop growing up so he dates her. He woos and seduces her and officially gets her under his wing of protection and into the space he’s socially allowed to like... Feel Anything In.

One of the first things he does (with out her knowledge ofc) is go at look up books on eating disorders. Billy’s smart and knows he’s out of his depth and not interested in talking out his ass and making it worse. There’s likely not a lot on how to like, help your loved ones in those books though, just the technical jargon. So he tries to put himself in her shoes and figure out what he/Chrissy would want-- which ofc seeing has he does in fact have a certain amount of body issues himself is uh, easier than anticipated lol.

One of the things he does is just tell her often how pretty she is, in different ways and phrasings so if one doesn’t land the next will. He picks out all her flaws with the seasoned eye of a man with a mean streak and then comments on them positively-- how it’s cute that her teeth aren’t perfect etc. He also makes her to comment positively on her other traits like kindness and intelligence and her skills. He works his ASS off to be a safe space for her, to keep his temper at bay and be as gentle as he can physically manage. To you know, not be Billy the Asshole with her at least. It gets easier with time as it becomes more natural for him to allow himself to be open and gentle.

Eventually she feels safe to really open up to him and he shares his own home issues with her so she doesn’t feel alone, so she knows that he gets it. He’s very gentle about urging her to eat just a little more (he kisses her hair and murmurs “just one more carrot for me baby”) but doesn’t get on her case if she can’t manage it. He distracts her from the need to purge or works her through talking about it or helps her find healthy things to do when it hits her. Whatever he can. He lets her know he’s here for her, that he’s not judging, that he gets it and that if she needs him he’s here.

He becomes her backbone until she can finally let herself use her own. Contradicting her mother every time she makes a comment about Chrissy’s looks/weight (because you know she can’t keep her mouth shut even in public/in front of a “guest”). And he does it with the “no nonsense I’m a hardass” tone he has. That’s his fucking girlfriend you’re talking about bitch, no one talks bad about his fucking girlfriend (Billy’s possessive to the point he puts himself higher on the list than his partner’s mother? it’s more likely than you think!). He includes Chrissy in his calculations on what he’s gonna need when he moves out because the second she’s 18 he’s getting her the fuck out of there and he doesn’t take no for an answer on it. Momentarily taking advantage of her doormat nature and his own naturally intimidating vibes? Sure. But even Chrissy admits later she needed the kick in the ass. Her mother was abusive but a known element, leaving home is new and scary and unknown and Chrissy had so little faith in herself she didn’t think she could survive leaving until she was forced to. Then she realized how much better life was.

That’s likely when she really starts to make the most progress because she’s so much freer to make choices and already feels much braver having made such a big step. Plus she has Billy at her back as a safety net, she can take risks and be brave because she knows he’s there to catch her and her increasing confidence helps her believe that she really is good enough as is. If at all possible she’d ideally get professional help as well and he’d help her with that too but that’s all very determined by like, finances and shit.

I could probably go on more but this is already Very Long soooo

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Persona 3 Definitive Ideas

A compilation on things they could add to a definitive edition of Persona 3 (either via remake or remaster). If it starts with bold it’s a main point and starting with an italics is a man subpoint (unless it’s the gameplay mechanic side aka the first point, that one’s subsection gets it’s own little bolded section). Assume Journey for most of it, I tried to mention when I was talking about The Answer by itself. 

Edit: I started this a few months ago, decided to just re-read it and.....I cant think of anything else I want to add to it (probs will after I publish it, I’ve made this list like 1000 times now over and over).  

Edit 2: (lol found my old 2015 ver I made, it’s a lot smaller but still might be fun to look at and compare)

Now, in no particular order except to make it flow the best (aka it’s not a ranking on what needs to be in there at the top, it’s just one leads into the other and helps it stay organized...aka I want all of these):

Gameplay fighting Mechanic:

An option to have FES tactics or P3P party control and have it tailored to that balanced. “Silly the game still has the tactics setting in P3P!” Yeah I know, it’s even there in P4/G and P5!” (RIP to fellow fans who went two dungeons plus in P4 with your chars on “act freely” u_u I know your pain). But no, FES and P3P’s tactics aren’t balanced the same, tbh P3P party control isn’t 100% balanced as it could be. So it’d be an option menu setting, and by changing it (options being: “Tactics Only” and “Party Control option”, it’ll change the AI of the enemies. You can still do tactics in Party Control, but it won’t be balanced the same way as Tactics Only.

Give both MC’s the ability to wield multiple weapons again. Be it in Tactics Only mode or in general.

Make Fusions cost SP again: While I do think the items are a novel idea, maybe replace them with a diff special spell that’s not as powerful as a fusion spell. 

Add more fusion Spells for MC

Let teammates do fusion spells too: Don’t give me “team attack” BS whatever you called the P4G ones, those are fusion spells. Give me teammate fusion spells damnit! (I saw the Aki/Mitsu fusion spell with the Pachinko machine Atlus, you can hide it from me!)

More ways to level up stats and gain SL points. We can do this a few different ways:

Add dialogue in places that’ll boost stat points. This is something P4 had ABUNDANCE of and it was really fun. P5 nerf’d it sadly. This should be easy since they could just add it to existing dialogue (ex: getting all of Yukari’s Answers to the Fuuka rumor correct raises knowledge, or picking a flirty option when you first meet Aigis gives you an increase to “charm”

Making/brining lunch and having it together, eating at the cafe together, same for dinner, or having karaoke night, introduce a hot spring/communal bath area, invite to movies (outside the movie week thing), or do a fortune/prayer that just costs money but not time (or have it available at night since there’s a lot of dead space at night). You know in P4/5 stuff. 

Add more (fluff/filler/fun) events. Now that we’ve solved the tight sched issue out of the way as seen above), now we can add more bonding moments. Optional and mandatory (tho I’d prefer most be option, unless the mandatory ones don’t take a time block away).

Maybe stuff that was Anime (or manga) exclusive. ex: P3 2nd movie has Makoto hanging with Shinji/Ken/Aigis for the summer festival (well I guess in this case, they just add a new unlockable event for that existing bigger event)

Get rid of certain mandatory events: There is really only like...one event I can think of, and it’s Mitsuru’s mandatory study/summer school event (the other would be a sports team event, but we could tweak it to giving you something additional in return). It’s a waste of time, esp if you’ve already maxed your knowledge (ESP on NG+). If the player has been getting top rank on exams and/or has max knowledge up to that point, we should be excluded. 

Incorporate the Phone games. Tied to the “add more events,” but it doesn’t exactly mean that we’ll have them incorporated into the story’s events (aka stopping the story flow during the Yakushima trip to incorporate Persona 3 EM). Luckily, both FES/P3P/P4G introduced ideas we can use to be able to access this content without breaking the story’s flow. We can (bolded games are the more meaty ones we’d probably want):

1) Pull an FES where it’s a separate game mode ala The Journey vs The Answer. (games that would fit this: Aigis’ First Mission and P3 EM)

2) Pull a P3P where it’s a new door in the Vision Quest Room....or just add another door to Tartarus like Vision Quest/Monad Depths. (games that would fit this: Persona 3 EM)

3) Pull a P4G: it’s a mode you can access within your playfile once you’ve unlocked it (aka the little trivia game) (Games that would fit this: P3 Escape, P3 The Night Before, QIX, Chaining Soul, Illust Puzzle, P3 CR/Pachinko exclusive events)

Add a Female Version of the Answer. Self explanatory. Considering this game is based heavily on a “butterfly effect,” and while it does have a lot of differences, The Answer is def the best place to showcase some of the BIGGER changes this effect has. Aka, it’s not a 1:1 same thing as the male’s and thus has it’s own merit of existing. Hell, Atlus could even use it to tease future titles. XP

Updates to the Answer in general: 

Add a goddamn compendium!

NG+

Difficulty setting (”Boo Silly! You just want it easier!” Ok but what if they could make it harder too? Ah got you now.)

A new unique persona or two (prime Personas? unlocked after seeing their past? special Athena fusable on NG+) (*see more on prime personas below in the “new Personas” portion)

Vision Quest (I’m a fan of Vision Quest and other fun stuff like the VR Challenges in P5R...but the setting is def the Vision quest, you can add P5R challenges type stuff in there)

Add more SLs to both Male and Female. This doesn’t exactly mean new characters. It can be.....

Allowing them to SL with each other’s exclusive SL’s. You can think of it something like....What P4 did with Sun and Strength, you have a choice. Basically, male can SL with people that were originally FeMC exclusive and vice versa. The caveat is it might be harder to start that other SL. (ex: Hamu has to go to a store to buy a gaming station and the game to SL with Toriumi, and it has a fairly steep financial barrier so it might be better for her to go with Saori). I would also say maybe Rio/Saori aren’t......date-able for reasons in their SL, and they probs act differently compared to their FeMC!Side counterparts (cause they are talking to a boy). Regardless, we see a different side to these characters so it’d make it worth wild to SL them on both sides. But most importantly, it means MaleMC can SL with Junpei/Aki/Ken/Shinji/Ryoji! Maybe he can’t save Shinji (that’s the beauty of the butterfly effect) but you can still see a new side of him and have different SL compared to the FeMC!

New chars to SL: A Fem!Pharos/Fem!Ryoji (always found it weird that Pharos/Ryo looked the same on both sides, it be a choice on the FeMC’s side like with Liz/Theo....like in the title screen when you select her the game could be like “you feel a strange energy within you, does it feel more feminineor more masculine?” and there we go). It’s a what if let me vibe!

A pen pal (or it can be a new online friend tbh) who’s arcana is “Fool 22,” was originally going to be a Your Name/super natural pen pal thing but maybe instead it’s the non SEES leader version of the MC you didn’t choose. Half I want some variation of the MCs to interact but also......setting up future sequels maybe? 8U

Edit (see I knew I’d forget something): SL with Strega. Similar to Fool 22 and Male!Hermit, an online friend. Strega members deserve to be more fleshed out. Plus iirc P3P artbook made blogs for all the chars, so an online friend thing could really work.

New Romances: Mainly for FeMC, her well is dry for stable romances (the only two who stick around the entire time with additional events is Aki and Ken....Ken....KEN! Whyyy???) Just let Hidehiko be optional, or give us another char, or Mamoru. MC is swimming in romance options, and for reasons I don’t think he’d be able to romance Rio/Saori (one likes his friend, the other is hella gay for FeMC but the possibility is there for Saori at least, P3 is def the ‘stan the bisexuals” the game). Not against more romance options for MaleMC, but I think we can all agree FeMC is hurting bad. ;w;

Friend Routes for the MaleMC: self explanatory. “But I liked the force romances, I don’t want to friend them.” Ok strange, strange straw man I’ve made up, but consider....more content! Just in general! And you can choose not to! :D If you still wanna be a gigolo then more power to you!

More cheating route repercussions. Add what was in Vanilla/FES back in (P3P doesn’t really have it/removed a lot of it). Bring the jealousy mechanic back...BUT ONLY for romance flagged routes (otherwise it doesn’t exist, we don’t need “Kenji’s sad you haven’t hung out in like 3 months BS). Add a Christmas event too ....maybe Valentines day (they may have “forgotten” a lot of things, but the convos when you say “bye” to the SLs show you dated them so.... 8U I’d say it’s possible).

Add a few more romantic SL events for Aigis:  You have no additional spend time option with her. No Christmas event. It’s mostly the former, but just adding another extra event would be nice (I know the narrative and story importance favors her heavily as a romance option, and I’m not complaining, but I’d like.....to have the ability to reciprocate her more).

More SL events: Think the fun extra/optional dialogues you get if you talk to an SL at night in P4G. Obvie you’ll get points for hanging out with them.

More optional run-in events: Not really relating to SLs. Example, when you go shopping with Dojima in P4G and you overhear other SLs talking to each other (such as Yukiko/Kanji and if she should dye her hair)

New Personas: I’d say more relating to NYX, maybe only the male can unlock certain ones and vice versa (but they can both be saved in the compendium and thus the other can use them on NG+, similar to the dual Orpheus’)

Prime Personas for party members: instead of 3rd tier personas (cause due to how P3 chars get their 2nd tiers it will cause problems for future entries, at least we can BS reason and say that “prime is a temporary change” or some BS), instead they’d get prime personas that are tied to SL stuff rather than their overall main resolve. They’ll get a prime persona with one new special ability. Prime can evolve into prime so it’s possible to miss seeing a normal 2nd tier or never seeing a prime first tier. Here’s an example

Junpei (if you are fast enough to max him before his story roadblock and thus before his story evolution): Hermes->Hermes Prime-> Trismegistus Prime.

Aigis (can’t be maxed before evolution): Palladion->Athena->Athena prime (or call it Pallas Athena, or you can save Pallas for The Answer)

P5/R’s Picaro Persona versions (purely cause they made the models kldsj;fa)

FeMC specific personas: Aurora, Nyx/Nox (persona), Eris, Thanatos Prime, Fem!Messiah Prime, Fem!Messiah, and Fem!Orpheus Telos

MaleMC specific personas: Aether, Erebus/Erebos/Scotus (persona), Eros, Thanatos Prime (diff color, I’d really like if the MC’s Thanatos’ ha diff colors too), Messiah Prime. 

More costumes/skins:

FeMC needs her christmas costume???? Where is it? 

Where is MC’s butler costume too???? 

More costumes in general, new and ones from later games.

Give the ability to change a persona’s “skin”: A cosmetic change to Personas for party members. It’ll include the following:

Initial look

Initial Prime

2nd 

2nd Prime

Picaro

Arche (P3 Em variations, like a reverse persona type of look supposedly)

Reverse (IF Arche doesn’t apply as Reverse)

“???” from the Answer’s variation (aka it’s grey scaled)

[gigglesgoddess]

Seven Years

Trigger warnings -

Seven Years

There’s a myth that one’s entire body is completely regenerated come seven years.  I looked it up because I was hoping it might be true.  Well, for the most part, most of your body is brand new.  A few things remain as they were (more or less), such as brain and bones and a few other ones I can’t remember.

But, for the sake of my mindset, let’s go with the new body theory.  At least on the outside, there has been a total regeneration from the person you were seven years ago.  

August 15th, seven years ago, I made it known to the sociopath that I wanted him gone.  He took his time, so technically, I may have until the end of the year before it’s “official”, but either way, the date marks a very significant part of my life.

Plenty of people don’t want to hear about it.  I guess that’s why we have shrinks (no disrespect meant in the term).  How do you process twenty (not taking into account the lifetime before that twenty) years of insanity in seven years?  Simply put, you don’t.  You try.  You put in the work.  You process a whole lot of flotsam, but you don’t simply get over it.  And in many cases of severe, life-long “crap” (technical term) you never do.

So, your non-existent support system (the one the abusers managed to rip away from you because ….[insert lie here]) consists of a pet, a journal and a few long-suffering individuals who’ll listen because they care, but have really had their fill of the horror that is your life.

Still, the only way I was able to escape the torture (literal) was because someone told me the truth and I was able to research, thus finding others who had experiences all too similar to mine.  In fact, once I did the research, I was terrified about my living situation.  I was scared for my life and the life of my pets.  Hell, my captor had already killed our dog.  And history brought back a long-line of canine victims that suddenly made sense.

But, this is not about that evil individual.  They took enough.  They enslaved me for too long.  (again, literal here folks)  This is about the new person I am becoming.  The seven-year reformation that has taken place, and is still happening, because I am one of those who will likely not live long enough to completely overcome that many years of crazy.  

It’s no easy path.  To pull oneself out of a pit of despair and fear; to walk away from what seemed like a secure life for one of total tightrope walking.  And yet, there seems no other choice when faced with the alternatives and the violations that have taken place.  Staying is not an option.  If you don’t die from mysterious circumstances, it’s murder by suicide (still not recognized in this country as a crime).  

If only I were being dramatic.  If only this kind of vile creature did not exist.  Sadly, they seem on the rise; accepted and glorified as “saviors” or leaders or “just a nice guy/gal”.  I don’t have the words.  I don’t know how to put the insanity into words that a non-victim could possibly understand.  But for those who may not have identified the dangerous persons in their lives, maybe this will act as a red flag; a warning light.  It was a post from someone else that helped send me running for my freedom and beginning this journey.  I don’t know who it was, but I will forever be grateful.  Someone told the truth and at least I was able to grab that life-rope and begin to pull myself up.

Seven years.  Seems both like a lifetime ago and only yesterday.  Some wounds are still tender and fresh.  Some have merely become a scar.  I’m proud of every scar.  They mark me a survivor.  I am also proud of the person who told me a very difficult truth about the person I was with.  I love you.  I’m sorry I didn’t do better.

There have been a few people who have stood by me best they can.  I love you and I am so very grateful.  I will likely never be able to repay you save for my gratefulness and ever-living appreciation.  Y’all know who you are.  Thank you.

So, seven years is coming.  I am a new person, at least body-wise.  Hell, inside especially.  I am the weird, blurting, clueless, laughing me.  But I am also the one that carries the weight no one should bear.  Better me than someone else.  Perhaps that’s a reason - when “why” creeps in.  Because if not me, then someone else.  And really, there’s no changing it.  It is at the core of who I am now.  Hopefully, I am kind and loving and giving and understanding.  Hopefully, I have some sense of honor and integrity.  Hopefully, I have sloughed off the entirety of what I was forced to be for too long.  

Seven years.  I should have a party.  But, alas, I don’t like parties.  Go figure.  Instead, I’ll just post an overly-lengthy post around the internet, hoping it helps someone, somewhere.  Letting some of me into the light of day (or moonlight is good too).  It’s been too long.  It’s been too hard.  And the truth of life is it doesn’t get easier.  We just learn how to carry the weight.  

Thank you, friends & family & friends who are family.  I might have drowned were it not for you all being there.  I love you.  Especially, this new me.  

[evisionmediasusanfriesen]

How to Choose a Developer for Your Small Business Website

I get asked to do website estimates a lot, and sometimes, it’s downright heartbreaking to hear from people who are struggling with how to choose a developer for their website.

Whether they’re aspiring entrepreneurs or small business owners, I get contacted all the time by people who feel they were ripped off by their previous webmaster and are very reluctant to hire someone new for fear of the same thing happening again.

Some of these people have decided to do all the work themselves, and they’re struggling terribly trying to learn a whole new profession. Then, they end up calling me out of sheer frustration, as nothing is working, and things are worse off than before.

One time I was having a conversation with someone on a completely unrelated topic, and he asked me what I did. When I responded, he blurted out, “I hate web developers.”

I cringed.

But I didn’t take too much offence to this, as no matter what you do for a living, there are always going to be people in your industry who are really great at what they do, some who just do enough to get by, some who only think they know what they’re doing, and still, others who are intentionally ripping people off!

Sadly, the web development industry is certainly no different.

So, if you’re unhappy with your current web developer, and you want to learn more about how to hire someone to build a website, then you should definitely keep reading.

In this article, I’m going to explore several different options you may want to consider, discuss the benefits and drawbacks of each option, and provide some valuable tips that will help you find the perfect complement to your team.

READ: What Kind of Website Does My Business Need? Pre-designed or Custom?

When you’re thinking about what kind of web developer to hire, it helps to know what kind of website you actually need.

So, if you want to learn more about what kind of website your business needs, then this article is definitely for you.

It explains the difference between pre-designed and custom WordPress websites and explores the pros and cons of each option.

Keep reading here.

If You Want to Know How to Choose a Developer, You’ve Got to Know What Kind of Help You Need

There are many different kinds of web developers out there, and some are more worthy of that title than others.

That being said, making the wrong choice can be very costly.

So, if you want to prevent this from happening, you’ve got to understand all your options.

With this in mind, below I look at four potential options, including the benefits and drawbacks of working with them, and why they might be the right choice for your small business website.

1. The WordPress VA (Virtual Assistant)

This person has figured out WordPress pretty well. They know how to install a WordPress theme (either free or purchased) and can make some modifications to that theme to help match the colours of your brand. They will probably have a pretty good understanding of what plugins are available to match your needs, as well.

The Benefits: Typically, hiring this kind of developer will cost you considerably less per hour than someone who’s qualified to work as a full-stack web developer. Putting together small-sized sites is their specialty.

The Drawbacks: Often, WordPress is all that they know, and rarely do they know any HTML or CSS, which would allow them to customize your website, or add any extra bells and whistles that you want to have. So, if you’re going to choose this option, don’t expect anything spectacular.

Also, keep in mind that oftentimes, purchased themes are so rigid that even moving an element from one part of the page to another is impossible to do for someone with this type of limited knowledge.

Another drawback is that VAs tend to have limited knowledge of all of the aspects that make a successful and effective website. For instance, they are not experts in brand positioning, design, copywriting, SEO, or content marketing. If they were, they would be charging more and promoting themselves as such.

When to Hire Them: You would want to hire a WordPress VA when you are not interested in a fully branded/customized website. If you accept the fact that your ability for customization is going to be severely limited, and you’re okay with that, then this option might be for you.

But remember, if you’re working with someone who only has this amount of knowledge, you’re basically going to get whatever the theme preview shows, aside from some minor colour, text, or image changes.

Below, I’ve included a couple of examples of these kinds of WordPress themes.

As you can see, when you look up these themes, you’ll find screenshots of how they’re going to look on a finished website.

But don’t forget – if you’re working with a WordPress VA, then what you see on the screenshots of these themes is pretty much what you’re going to get.

You could also make this choice if you are already well-versed in marketing strategy, copywriting, and branding, and can simply tell your VA what needs to be done.

In any case, you should anticipate them having limited knowledge in some or all of these areas.

2. The Programmer

This person is what I lovingly call a tech geek. We have a few of these types on our team and we would not be as successful as we are without them!

The Benefits: They know programming inside and out. They live, eat, sleep, and breathe this stuff, and will therefore be able to customize your website however you see fit, at least in terms of how you want it to look and function.

The Drawbacks: They can build you a fully functional website, no problem. But don’t expect it to look pretty! When it comes to branding, marketing, copywriting, design, and layout, most of them are pretty much clueless (sorry, tech geeks).

This means you will probably need to hire someone else to help with those areas if you are not equipped to handle them yourself.

When to Hire Them: If you have a complex website in mind that needs to be customized to fit your needs, then it wouldn’t be a bad idea to hire this kind of developer.

Whether it’s an eCommerce engine, membership site, or a database-driven tool, a fully trained and experienced programmer will be able to deliver what you need.

But don’t forget, they’re not going to have design acumen, or be able to help you build your brand, so if you don’t have this stuff fully fleshed out, you might have a problem.

3. The Freelancer

Typically, freelance web developers have more than enough knowledge to be able to design and develop a decent website.

How do I know this?

Well, besides the fact that I’ve worked with my fair share of freelance contractors over the years, if they weren’t able to do this, they certainly wouldn’t be able to make a living as a freelancer. And even if they were just doing it in their spare time, if they were completely inept, it wouldn’t be worth their while.

However, locating a reliable freelancer is often like finding a needle in a haystack. If you can find one, that’s amazing, but they’re usually few and far between.

In any case, some of the best places to find freelance web developers include Fiverr, Upwork, and Guru.

The Benefits: First off, hiring a freelancer could cost considerably less than some of the other options out there.

Moreover, freelance web developers will usually have enough programming expertise to be able to handle most customizations and challenges that come up, and will not need a plugin for every single function (which could bog down your site’s performance).

As I said above, if they didn’t have this level of expertise, it would be practically impossible for them to make a living, which is why most of them tend to be pretty competent.

The Drawbacks: Even though they may appear to know a lot about web development, it’s not possible for one person to be really good at everything.

As I already mentioned, it’s rare to find a really good designer who’s also a great developer (they do exist, but they are a rare breed), so you’re probably going to have a particularly tough time finding someone with all these skills.

That being said, you will likely need to have someone else on your team who is well-versed in marketing and copywriting, so you can offset any weaknesses the developer may have.

When to Hire Them: If you’re able to find a knowledgeable and reliable freelancer, then you will undoubtedly have a great asset on your team, and they can probably save you some money, as well.

But don’t forget that you’ve got to be aware of what their limitations are so you can offset those areas with other people on your team.

So, make sure to take stock of their skillsets, or lack thereof, and consider what the real cost will be, if you do have to compensate for any of their shortcomings.

4. The Web Development Agency

There are several different types of web development agencies out there, but for the sake of this article, I’m going to focus on the category we fit into, which would be boutique web development agencies.

I mean, if you’re looking for a big-name agency that only multi-billion-dollar corporations would use, then you probably wouldn’t be reading this article anyway.

In any case, if you’re interested in hiring an agency, and you want to learn more about how to choose one that’s right for your business, you should check out our article on How to Choose a Marketing Company That’s Right for Your Small Business.

The Benefits: A boutique web development agency is not just a one-man show, and it’s not focused solely on building websites. It’ll consist of a team of professionals that can offer all of the different areas of expertise your business needs for an effective marketing strategy.

Typically, these areas include:

Copywriting

Brand Design

Graphic Design

Strategy Consulting

Search Engine Optimization

Website Design and Development

Content Marketing and Lead Generation

Social Media Marketing and Management

So, the main benefit of working with a web development agency is that you’ll have access to a team of people with various areas of expertise that can work together to create a seamless strategy.

You don’t have to hire a separate individual or company for each aspect of your marketing, and as a result, everything should be more comprehensive and consistent.

In addition, once you let them know about your needs, goals, and the nature of your business, they will already know what is needed and can discuss options with you to create something that is a perfect fit.

This prevents you from having to know what is needed yourself or spend time keeping tabs on every member of your team, which will allow you to focus more on building your business.

Another benefit is that collectively, the team will have in-depth knowledge of your brand and brand voice so that no matter what your needs are, they can consistently deliver that brand messaging across all mediums. This consistency has a powerful impact on how your business is perceived and the amount of trust it elicits.

The Drawbacks: Depending on which agency you want to hire, the price point might be outside of your budget. That being said, no matter what agency you choose, make sure to do your research.

Always ask for referrals, and spend some time talking to them, so you can decide if this company’s going to be able to deliver what’s promised. If they are expensive, but they have a good reputation for being on time and on budget, then the extra costs could balance out in the long run.

When to Hire Them: Hiring a web development agency could be one of the best things you’ll ever do when creating a new business. It will give you peace of mind that your new venture is going to get going on the right foot, right off the bat.

It may seem pretty expensive, but if you look at the bigger picture, it will likely save you a lot of time and money in the long run if you make this initial investment in your business.

My final piece of advice is to do extensive research on any agency or developer you’re thinking about hiring.

Why do I keep harping on this point?

Well, just like every other industry, the world of web development is full of scammers and charlatans just waiting to pull a fast one on you.

Many people will claim to be developers, when in reality, all they know is how to use a website builder like Wix, Weebly, or Squarespace.

As I already mentioned, references and reviews are very important in this industry, so if there’s an agency or developer you want to work with, make sure to speak with their clients, and scour the Internet for reviews, so you can have a better understanding of what it’s like working with them.

As you can see, on our website we have a ton of testimonials from clients, and we wouldn’t hesitate to put potential clients in contact with some of them if they made that request.

Whatever you do, if you’re looking to hire an agency or developer, you’ve got to do whatever you can to ensure they have a high level of experience and skill, so you know they’re going to build the right website for your business.

This is vital, because at the end of the day, the quality of your website – both in terms of its design and how it’s coded – is incredibly important on so many levels.

With that said, you have to ensure that whomever you hire understands how to design and build a quality product for you.

Otherwise, you could end up wasting a lot of time and money and be faced with having to go through the whole process over again.

Are you looking to hire a web development agency to build your small business website? We’ve been building websites for more than 20 years. Contact us today or schedule a free 30-minute consultation with me to learn more about what we can do for you.

To your business success, Susan Friesen

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere RE8: TRP Part 4

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

Part 5 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

"Uhh... hello?"

You looked at the woman standing in the stairs. She was wearing a dark veil that matched the rest of her outfit- oh shit, that's a funeral outfit.

I really did pick a bad time to come here, didn't I? She's in mourning, she sees an intruder, and her day went from bad to worst. Yep, she's gonna kill me.

You took one look at the woman and then at all the possible exits: the doors- no, they'd be too heavy to move and what if they're locked? The window- but I'd have to jump out and just because it looks cool in movies to jump through glass, doesn't mean it'll work, Y/n.

So, the only option was to eliminate the threat. Or maybe... defuse it.

"This is your doll, right?" You asked, pointing at the doll, judging by the lace designs on both of their dresses. The woman didn't reply. "It looks like its been... used a lot. To be honest, she's very different than most dolls I've seen, definitely a lot more spookier." You nervously giggled, hoping she didn't mind. "But... she looks like she's been loved. A lot. Despite being broken from a lot of places, someone still took their time to fix her." You smiled sadly, remembering your own doll that Mia had ripped. "Wish I had someone like that. To sew up the wounds and fix them."You mumbled, not really sure if you were talking about your doll or yourself.

"Your doll, she's- she's very pretty. My sister would've liked her." You began. "Which is why I'm here. My family, we were in an accident- I know it was wrong of me to come here without permission, but I need to find my sister, Rose and my father, Ethan." You took a step closer. "They both of have blonde hair. Rose, my sister, she's just 6 months old. She was dressed in a baby pink onesie, bundled up in a blanket. My father, Ethan, he's about this tall and has big blue eyes. I think he was wearing a jacket, with blue denim jeans. H-have you seen them?" You asked, eyes full of hope and voice laced with eagerness.

Please, please let her have seen them. God, please.

Unsurprisingly, the woman didn't reply, but she did turn her head towards the left window. You didn't know whether she was telling you to get out of her house or signalling that they are out there, but you knew you had to leave.

Nodding, you slowly walked towards the window, your heart beating faster as you prayed that this wasn't some sort of trap, hoping she wouldn't attack you from behind because that would be like... really shitty.

But you left the house unharmed, and without looking back at the window because you didn't want to jinx it, you walked towards the forrest once again, thankful that the sun had finally came out.

Where are you guys?

You had been walking for a couple of hours now, the sun had been a bit warmer today, which was good since you hated the snow that surrounded you now. You looked at the map, tracing the path to your new destination. The Salvatore reservoir. It seemed like it would take you a day's journey to get there, and you sure as hell weren't seeing any lake in sight.

God, when will this nightmare end?

You decided to sit on a stone and take some much needed rest. Your feet ached from all the walking, and your calves were cramping. You rolled your head, popping it from the side, before taking off the rifle that had been weighing down, stretching out your arms. Digging through the little back pack you bought from Duke, you pulled out a thermos of coffee and twinkie. You don't know how or where he got it, but Duke had filled your bag with a couple of snacks; saying its for his loyal customer.

So, here you sat, in the middle of the snowy woods, eating a twinkie and drinking a lukewarm coffee. Both didn't taste good, but they're gonna keep you alive so, no complaining.

After drinking the coffee, you rested your head against a tree, recalling last nights events as you waited for the caffeine to kick in.

You tried to make sense of what happened when you got... locked in the basement. You thought you had forgotten about her, Angel. Guess not.

Wait- didn't that lady lock me in the basement? Maybe, she didn't look very hostile, her creepy doll looked scarier than she did.

You laughed at the irony. You always made fun of the horror movies where the family would become so attached to the most horrifying doll, and you'd scream at their stupidity, And yet here you were, falling for the cliche as you found comfort in that creepy doll.

Man, I'm really losing it here.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you tried to come up with the next plan. But the warm coffee had lulled you right to sleep, which was dangerous but you were too tired to care.

Just for a couple of minutes...

You woke up to the sound of growling and heavy steps. And as soon as you opened your eyes, you knew you had definitely slept for far longer than a few minutes. But that was not of concern at the moment. No, it was the source of the growling that had woken you up.

Just about 40 feet away from you were lycans. Plural. Not one, not two, but 5 lycans, and one of them was a really big one.

You held your breath as you watched them wander around; they hadn't spotted you yet, and if you stayed quiet, you hoped they would just go away.

Stilling yourself as much as you could, you watched them with wide eyes. One of them started to walk in your direction, it wasn't looking at you, which meant that it hadn't seen you, but he would if he kept on walking this way.

God, I know we haven't been on good terms, but like c'mon, you gotta give me a break. Please, I love you? Come on, you know this is not how I want to go.

You sent a silent prayer, and perhaps it worked, since the lycan suddenly turned the other way, joining its pack as they started walking deeper into the woods.

Slowly, you began to gather up your things, silently shoving them in your bag, one eye on the lycans and the other one making sure that you don't accidentally drop something that'd cause noise.

Fortunately, you didn't. You swung the bag over your shoulder, and took a step forward, careful not to step on any twigs.

Maybe God did love me. All that time in church-

THWACK!

You jumped back as a huge sheet of snow fell from the trees in front of you. You whipped your head towards the monsters and they all had stopped dead in their tracks. Slowly, one of them turned and if they hadn't heard the snow fall, they'd definitely heard the way your heart was about to burst out of your chest. Then, it growled.

Motherfucker.

You pulled out your gun just as the two of them began running your way. With a quick jump to the side, you dodged them and shot them two times each. Hearing your gun fire, the other two began running your way too, while the larger one stayed behind as it watched. This time, as you shot one of them, the other managed to kick you in the chest hard, throwing you against the rock. Luckily, you didn't hit your head, as you rolled and shot it dead.

Spitting out the blood, you looked back at the last lycan who had already started running your way. You began loading up your gun with trembling hands, but just as you aimed, the lycan took a giant leap and knocked the gun out of your hand.

Fuck.

The giant grabbed you by your neck, lifting you up high before throwing you across the ground. You wheezed, scrambling up to your feet as you began running away from it, its heavy steps following you. It roared angrily behind you, and that only made you ignore the burning pain in your chest as you ran faster.

But of course, God had decided to make you live a cliche horror movie, because you tripped over a fucking branch, making you fall on your stomach. You flipped over instantly, and saw your nightmare come true as the lycan jumped on you.

On pure reflex, you punched it square in the face, which you doubted hurt it more than it hurt you, if anything, the monster was momentarily perplexed, but that was enough for you to slip from under it.

But you were only able to take a few steps away when it suddenly grabbed you by your neck and lifted you up again, snarling as it began opening its mouth, revealing its razor-sharp teeth at you.

God, if you're hearing this, I'm converting to atheism because I did not need this today.

Looking at the horrifying lycan, you prayed one last time before you were eaten by it. Surprisingly, your life did not flash before your eyes, which you were kinda grateful for because you did not need to relive that before your death.

But that moment didn't came. No, what came were familiar moans of pain, and then the sound of a drill, followed by blood splattering on your face as the lycan was sliced vertically from the head to the toe by the aforementioned drill.

The lycan fell to the ground, revealing the pair of soldats that killed them and behind them a smirking Heisenberg, who rested against a tree, tipping his hat at you.

You were far too shocked to say anything, and after a few seconds, the man walked over to you, blocking the view of his monstrous creations just mutilating the lycans.

"So... that was a bit traumatising." He started, chuckling at your stunned face. "You okay, kid?"

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck-

"Yeah." You took his hand, and he helped you up. You groaned at the pain, touching the tender side around the chest where the lycan had hit you. Yeah, you probably broke a rib.

Heisenberg helped you sit down on a tree stump. "Hmm, that bastard kicked you hard didn't it." Wait- "But that was a phenomenal punch you threw at it. Nearly made me burst out laughing."

"You were watching? Why the fuck didn't you come in before!"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to see if you could really handle yourself- which you were pretty good at, but then you lost your gun and it was kinda an unfair match from there on." He pulled out some pills from his coat. "i was just passing by when I saw those lycans moving away. Thats when I pushed the tree which made snow sheet fall and you know the rest from there on."

Your eyes went wide. "You did that on purpose? What the shit, Heisenberg-?! Fuck." You doubled over in pain, clutching your ribs, heaving.

"Shh, stay still, kid. Here, take these. They'll help with the pain." You eyed the bottle before popping two in your mouth. Hey, if he wanted me dead, he wouldn't have saved me from the lycan. "I just wanted to see if you were worth the trouble, and as it turns out, you are."

"You didn't have to almost kill me to see that. And now I've lost my gun. And I don't have any money to buy a new one. I doubt Duke gives freebies." You huffed out.

Heisenberg rolled his eyes. "God, you sure do whine a lot. Here-" He dropped a tiny pouch in your lap. "There's some coins in there. That should be enough to buy you a new gun. And for fucks sake, get a gun with more rounds! You don't have time to be loading a gun mid battle." He huffed. "So, where are you going now?"

You rolled your head from side to side. "Well, I went to the Beneviento house. Didn't find Ethan or Rose there. Now, I'm going to the lake."

"The lake? Huh, well if you survived Donna, then Moreau should be a piece of cake. You got the map? Let me show you the short cut, it's not far from here." You gave him the map and he showed you the directions.

"Where are you going then?"

"Mother Miranda called. Don't worry, I'll keep our meeting a secret." He then nodded at you. "Alright, I'm off now."

"Wait!" Your voice stopped him. "I don't know when I'll see Duke again. And I don't have gun, so what if another pack of lycans come?"

Heisenberg slumped his shoulders as he let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine. I gotta do everything by myself." He dog whistled and one of the soldats stopped maiming the lycan and ran to Heisenberg. "From now on, you're gonna listen to her."The soldat looked at you and nodded. "If she tells you to kill, you kill. If she tells you to die, you die. Follow her around and keep her safe." The soldat nodded. Then Heisenberg turned to you. "He's already dead, so don't worry about throwing him in danger. Oh and also, just take him into the sun every once in a while so that his engine can recharge. You'll know when he needs the sun."

You were baffled. "Wait, Heisenberg- how the- what the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Figure it out, kid. Think of him as a guard dog."

You looked at the soldat then at Heisenberg's retreating form, then back at the soldat.

"So..." The soldat stared at you. "You got a name?"

"Handsome." You nodded to yourself as you trudged, using the soldat's arm to support yourself. "That's what I'm gonna call you. Handsome. What do you think?"

The soldat was wearing a metal contraption over its eyes, so you couldn't really tell what it was feeling.

"Well, you don't seem to have any complaints, so from now on, you'll respond to the name "Handsome". Do you understand?"

The soldat nodded.

You laughed. God, the pain meds were either making me stupid or everything else funnier.

You looked at the map again. Just a couple of more minutes and then a right turn. And then you should see the lake- god, this map was confusing as hell.

"So..." you wondered what you should ask the cyborg. Oh right. "You seen Ethan? Blonde man, crazy big eyes. Or a baby, Rose?" The man shook his head no.

Sigh. What else could I ask him? What about how did he die? No, what if that's triggering? I can't handle a Terminator right now. And I don't think I should ask him about his past or anything that'll cause him to have a existential crisis. Ah! I've got it!

"Hey, how do you see?"

The soldat looks down at you for a few seconds then points at his metal contraption.

Wait- is that sarcasm?

You scoff. "Of course, you see with your eyes! I meant, with the whole metal thingy covering them, how do you- oh, there's this vision specs in them."

You smiled. "Hey, you're kinda like Cyclops, yknow-" you were cut off as Handsome suddenly pushed you to the ground, turning on his drill.

"Wait, shit- you don't have to be Cyclops! We can talk this out-" but Handsome was focusing on something else, and that's when you saw it. Two lycans.

Handsome ran and easily maimed them to pieces, I mean, you had to look away from the horrific scene midway.

The soldat returned five minutes later, covered in blood. He extended his hand and you reluctantly took it, letting him support you as you began walking again, your heart still beating like crazy.

But you calmed down when you finally reached the lake, the setting sun gave serene feel to the entire reservoir. You inhaled deeply before looking at Handsome. "Lets go down there." You pointed at the lake.

You were both sitting at the wooden broadwalk, your legs hanging off the ledge. You looked at the water, it wasn't crystal clear, but you could see some fishes swimming around, so at least it wasn't dangerous to life. You looked at Handsome, then at his drill and you realised he was still covered in blood. "Lets get you cleaned up, hm?" You said, pulling out a rag from your bag and dipping it in the cold water below. You began with cleaning up his drill, then dipping the rag back in cold water and cleaning his chest and his other arm.

"Good job back there, Handsome."You smiled as Handsome nodded. "Heisenberg was right, you are kinda like a dog. Hmm, I wonder if..." You tested your theory as you petted him on the head. "Good job, Handsome!" But the soldat only tilted its head in confusion.

"Hmm, perhaps not." You cupped the cold water in your hands and washed your own face, You looked at your reflection in the water. "You wanna go for a swim? I don't mind." Handsome shook his head. "Yeah, I'm not a fan of swimming either."

Handsome stared at you. You scoffed. "Oh so you pretend you don't understand what I say, but you want to hear the story? Fine, but I'm only telling you because it might be important later."

You both stared at the water as you began your story. "Well, when I was 15, I had snuck out of the house to go to a party. It was at this rich girl's house and I knew she didn't like me, but I was surprised when she had invited me to her place. Yes, a red flag I should've seen from miles ago, but I was young and dumb and desperate to climb the highschool social hierarchy." You chuckled. "Anyways, long story short, one of the guys there pushed me into the pool because I don't know if they thought it was funny to see me drown? By some luck, I managed to grab onto the pool ledge and pull myself up. I immediately left the party, embarrassed and cold and on the verge of breaking down. Then on the way back home, there was this car following me and then some weirdo catcalled me and tried to get me in his car. Now, scared for my life because I watched a lot of Criminal Minds, I ran all the way home, praying that he leaves me alone. I think he stopped when he saw a Range Rover following him, but I don't know. I just rushed back home." You sighed. "You know what happened next? I bursted through the front door, slamming it shut and I turn around to see my dad in the living room, looking surprised to see me. He stood up and looked me up and down and then said, "Y/n? You're drenched completely. And you're messing up the floor. You know what? Mia's in the bathroom right now, why don't you go upstairs and I'll clean up here. You know how she gets when there's water on the wood." And I was just so shocked, that I didn't say anything and went back upstairs. Once I was in the shower, that's when I broke down crying. I almost drowned, almost got kidnapped and my father was worried about me messing up the wooden floor? Hell, he didn't even ask me why I was coming home at midnight." Your tears fell into the lake, making small ripples. You chuckled, "God, I always wondered how tired he must've been from work that day to ignore all these visible signs of distress. I always hated his job, you know? They made him work way too much." You looked at Handsome who was looking at the lake. "Anywho, now you know I can't swim so, save me if I fall into this lake, okay?" He nodded.

You guys sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a question popped up in your mind. "Handsome?" He turned his head towards you, only to see a mischievous smile on your face. "Are you seeing someone?" The man turned his back to the lake, making you laugh. "Ahh, so you like someone. Tell me, is it someone from the village?" The man further turned his head away from you in embarrassment. "Oh come on, tell me! Is it a girl?" He nodded reluctantly, making you punch his arm. "You dog! Does she know?" Handsome shook his head, making you smile. "Tell you what? As a payback for saving me back there, I'll help you get her. I'll be your wingman, Handsome, hm?" He nodded a bit enthusiastically.

"We all deserve good things, Handsome. No matter how we look, or what we are, these things don't really define one's self worth. Its our intentions, you know?" Handsome didn't know, but he nodded anyways.

"Good. Now, lets go check out this place. Keep an eye out for Ethan and Rose, okay?" You told him, not knowing someone was already watching the two of you.

So... thought?

What did you guys think about Handsome? I'm gonna post a pic of him soon if you guys want.

Part 5 is here.

[kirishoshego]

Confidental Composition//Bakugo

!!!MINORS DNI!!! 18+ONLY !!!

This is the first part of my little 'Teachers Pet Series' (I will add the link once I got all parts covered and the right ideas).

Summary: A simple task fucked up late at night as you send the wrong version of a piece of homework to your English literature teacher Mister Bakugo. Of course, he would want to see you after class the next day. But not for the reasons you might think. Pairing: Docent!Bakugo x afab!student!y/n // Words: 4.2k+ Side note: Insert a friend or random name you want for X :)

TW: nsfw: slow burn (sorry), spanking with a ruler, hair pulling, being bend over a desk, calling him sir, spitting, choking, dirty talk, degrading, slight praise

„Write an essay about the worst description of a woman or coitus. In the essay, explain why it is bad and then rewrite it. At least 30 pages, max. 60 pages (sources and any other extras you please to include, excluded). Due Date: 8 weeks from now on, 35% worth of your end grade. Questions can be asked per E-Mail, or, if you must, I’m free every Wednesday afternoon for meetings strictly for this essay and this essay only.“

A sigh left your lips as you starred at the piece of paper for the tenth time today ever since he handed it out to you and your classmates. The options you had were endless, you knew so many bad pieces about both topics and could write more than 100 pages about them as well. Everyone in class you talked to had decided on their topic already, some were even further. It was X who told you to just write the topics on a piece of paper and let fate do its work.

Black ink on a badly ripped blue note decided that you were going to write about a sex scene. Just now that you thought about it, rewriting something like that for your professor to read was an awfully stupid idea, yet you decided to listen to a small piece of paper.

At first, you were going to go with Fifty Shades of Grey but you felt like the choice was chewed up and spat out. It took you three days to finally decide on a book and once you settled there was no turning back. Considering your ignited interest in this topic you weren’t surprised when you were done within the first four weeks. Knowing the editing is going to take another week, maybe even a week and a half, you decided to take a small break, just one or two days off. On your second day, you decided to visit the new coffee shop that had just opened up around the corner.

Never had you expected to see your professor near your living spot. You were about to greet him when you noticed his pissed-off expression on his face and only now did you spot the woman behind him. She grabbed his arm and made him turn on the relatively small and empty street.

„Suki you can’t be serious,“ she was angry and hurt, while he seemed to be angry and annoyed. Not much of a difference than to how you see him on the daily, to be honest. „Are you fucking stupid? Of course, I’m fucking god damn serious. It was your choice to cheat on me and now I choose to throw you on the streets where you apparently belong, go ask one of your little boy toys to take you in for all I care,“ you were frozen in place, not entirely sure what to do. Right now your eyes were glued on his chest that was clad in a tight, black pullover, rising up and down heavily as his nostrils were flared caused by his anger. „Because you gave me no choice! If you like that sort of weird, rough shit then paddle your own canoe! I need something soft and tender-,“ before she could finish her sentence he laughed. Cold and slightly maniac in a way.

„Then get some fucking chicken! If you don’t like how I’m in bed then break up with me and piss off but don’t send my best friend a nude to ask him to come over. Even a ten-year-old would see how stupid that is,“at that moment your eyes met. His eyebrows were furled together, red eyes expression furry and disgust. Blond hair usually styled like he was going to be on the cover of Vogue, like he had been before, now slightly messy. Plump lips slightly apart to let his teeth shine through slightly before wetting them with his tongue. Your eyes widened and before you knew what you were doing you waved at him, making him cock his eyebrows in confusion for a second before noticing it was you who he was looking at. Turning on your heels you walked past busy crowds of people as you walked back home, trying to understand what you had just seen and why your angry professor had turned you on more than anyone had done before.

It was a stupid idea to ditch the next teaching unit of his but you had absolutely no clue how you were going to look at him. You knew teachers had a private life themselves, but never would you have guessed that you would run into one of them in your small area. As far as you knew he lived across town according to the very, very few private stories he had shared in magazines.

„Dear Professor,

down below is my finished project as an attachment in form of a PDF. I know you request it to be printed as well and I had planned to hand it in today, but sadly I came down with the flu. I’m looking forward to attending your next unit in the following week.

Have a nice week,

Y/N Y/L/N“

Maybe he had forgotten that you were there already and you were worrying too much about it. You were his student, nothing more, nothing less. Bakugo could care less about you, right? The flu did go around a lot right now, so it wouldn’t be completely unthinkable that you were sick. Itching eyes signaled you that it was time to go to bed now, so you closed your laptop and went to bed, not knowing what the next day will hold for you.

X had waited for you at the main entrance the next day to give you all the information you might need and ask why you weren’t there, considering it was obvious that you had the flu for one day only. At first, you were hesitant to explain what you had witnessed, it was messy already and you doubt Mister Bakugo would want the fight to go viral at his workplace. „Just one of those days you know? I had my mind completely full and felt like crap,“ that was the best excuse you could come up with, a white little lie that wouldn’t harm anyone. „Glad to see you’re doing- Oh, hello Professor,“ X smiled at someone behind you. There was no need to turn around to know who it was, the scent of his very expensive and extremely beguiling perfume clouding your mind. „Hello,“ his gruff voice greeted your friend shortly as you turned around, met with his muscular chest. You didn’t expect him to be so close to you, but here you were, tilting your head slightly as you looked up to him through your lashes, feeling not just your cheeks growing hot. „Good morning Sir,“ your voice sounded a lot more confident than you were feeling. Bakugo clenched his fist around the fake leather of his bag, his red eyes starring right into your soul as you had no chance of escaping whatever was going to happen next. „Miss Y/L/N, just the person I was looking for,“ fuck. „You were?“ X and you said at the same time, but your friend decided to excuse themself after a single glare from the older man. „How may I help you, Professor?“ You asked after swallowing down the anxious feeling that threatened to rise. „I received your Mail yesterday, with the PDF,“ okay, why did he search you just to tell you he got your assignment? Was it that bad? „But I’m relatively sure that it was the wrong one, considering I doubt that you want your teacher to know that 'this shit is so bad, but I wouldn’t mind being bent over a writing desk like that' with a smirking emoji at the end,“ only when his finger pushed your chin upwards gently you noticed that it was agape, shame filling every molecule in your body as you already planned your escape out of this country. Nobody was near you to see the weirdly intimidating scene happening between you and your teacher.

„Also I know you didn’t have the flu. I don’t appreciate being lied to. Tomorrow five p.m. in my office, don’t be late or you will get in more trouble. Send me the actual version tonight so I can grade it. I won’t let something as unprofessional as this slide again, understood?“ You nodded, taking in all of the information given to you, and somewhat in all of this mess felt thankful that he was giving you a second chance. The man in front of you rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, ordering you to speak up. „Yes Sir, thank you,“ you sounded more confident than you felt inside. „Good,“ was all Bakugo said before he turned around, leaving you behind in the big hall dumbfounded and confused… And horny.

As if Chronos himself felt immense joy in your misery, minutes appeared to be hours and the panic inside of you only grew the closer you came to five in the afternoon. You tried everything, watching a show, listening to podcasts and audiobooks, reading a book you had put of for so long, went outside, cooked something, worked on another assignment, stopped yourself from destroying your hair, made the phone call you so desperately had put off and it’s still only ten p.m on the same day. How was that even possible? As you laid in bed you tossed and turned, the thought of your really hot teacher all angry, breathing heavily, his hands roaming your body. It was hard to pinpoint exactly when those thoughts turned into a very lucid dream, but when you woke up in the morning, already an hour too late to your first period, all you wanted to do was scream into your pillow.

Considering first class is canceled, you wanna go grab breakfast? X texted you.

Canceled? Checking your mails you saw your teacher had sent out a mail, excusing themselves and explaining they came down with the flu. A blessing in disguise. You let X know that you would meet up at the building and go grab something near it. Once agreed, you took a quick shower, a moment of peace given to you as water hit your body. There was no way you could do anything between your last class and the meeting with Professor Bakugo, so you tried to look your best possible for the next upcoming hours.

Suddenly time flew by and the closer you got the more you begged for a little bit more time, for him to postpone it, anything. But no, here you were, five minutes early and looking around to spot the blond man with no luck. „Miss Y/L/N. Step inside,“ you jumped slightly as his voice boomed up behind you, not expecting him to be in the office already.

Once you walked inside you were stunned about how clean everything was, no matter where you looked it was neat. His books were sorted alphabetically with marks between them to let him know when a new letter began. As far as you could tell he used cherry wood for his pieces of furniture, a big, black carpet in a corner underneath a small seating area, and some books placed on the table. Even his paperwork was stacked in order. Big glass windows allowed the evening sun to fall into the room, its warmness kissing your skin while you were seated in front of him, a big writing desk between the two of you, on it your work.

It was quiet for a short moment, before he leaned back in his chair, red eyes mustering you up and down which didn’t help at all. „What would you like to talk about first? Your assignment or the fact that you lied to me?“ Why was he so bothered by your lie? You knew plenty of students calling in sick every once in a while even though they aren’t. „I apologize for both of it. It shouldn’t have happened and I learned from my mistake,“ you were hoping that it would ease his anger a little bit but he seemed more worked up than usual. „Although I don’t understand why you are so angry at me for it? Plenty students lie-,“ „Yes, but they aren’t stupid enough to make it so obvious,“ he interrupted you. „I could care less about who’s missing my class, it’s their fault in the end if they decide learning is unnecessary. However you are one of my top students, I expected better from you. You could have excused yourself with no explanation. But you chose to add the feeble lie about being sick for what?“

You took in a deep breath, feeling as if another lie would be caught immediate, so you had no other choice but to tell him the real reason: „I heard the fight you had with the woman you were with, in the café, and I didn’t know how to react when I see you in your class,“ there was a small moment where he looked honestly confused before something clicked in his brain. „So it was you who I saw. What did you hear?“ „I can’t really rem-,“ „One more lie and I will lose my temper, don’t test me,“ shit, why was he turning you on so much right now. He’s your teacher for god’s sake and angry at you, this wasn’t the right time. „That she doesn’t agree with certain things in your private life,“ „Like?“ he knew you tried to talk around it, yet he wanted you to talk about, to see you embarrassed again, he liked that look on you. „The way you fuck,“ it was said before your brain could even comprehend the words, another apology laying at the tip of your tongue but his next question cut you off before you could say something else. „Why were you there in the first place? I’ve been there a few times and never saw you or any other student,“ he explained. „Because I live close by?“ It sounded more defiantly than you had wanted, causing your opponent to cock his eyebrow.

„I feel like you’re forgetting who’s the authority figure here,“ he walked up to his door, locking it before coming back. Now he was right in front of you, slightly sitting on his desk and the sleeves of his button-up shirt pushed up a little. „No sir, I’m sorry,“ „You see, the problem is, I don’t really believe you,“ with that he pulled you up, bodies pressed against each other, letting you feel his toned torso while the muscles in his arms flexed slightly.

„You lied to me once already, I think I have to teach you a lesson,“ everything happened so fast and you suddenly found yourself face down on his desk with his hand between your shoulder blades, the other one grabbing his wooden ruler. „If I recall correctly this is what you wanted right?“ His voice was low, slightly above a whisper as his upper body was pressed against your back while he pulled a few hair strands from your face. „Yes, but Professor I don’t think this is a good idea,“ your inner voice yelled at you, saying this was the best idea ever, angry that you possibly ruined your dreams coming true.

„Tell me to stop and I will do so immediately. Your choice. There will be no consequences if you worry about that,“ he reassured you, waiting for you to get up and run, but you didn’t and the current position allowed him to feel you clench your legs. „So?“ He asked again, the ruler in his hand basically burning with the anticipation of hitting your skin. „No, don't stop,“ you breathed, awaiting his next move.

„Good,“ with that he exposed your raised ass, your underwear the only thing between your bare skin and the wood that came down upon it, one foot raising in the air because of the sudden pain. „From now on if you say stop I won’t listen, you will tell me how you feel through colors. If it’s too much you tell me red and I will drop everything, understood?“ Another spank was delivered to the same spot.

„Yes,“ another one. You weren’t sure if he hit harder or if your skin turned more sensitive with every blow.

„It’s sir to you,“ you could feel him lunge out but shortly before the ruler came down he stoped, laughing slightly at your small jump.

„Yes sir,“ another one.

„You’re going to apologize every time my ruler paints your cute ass even redder, got it?“ You nodded your head, a moan escaping the back of your throat as he spanked you yet again.

„One more thing, be a good girl and stay quiet, wouldn’t wanna get caught now do we?“ He knew it was going to be torture for you to follow his order the more he continued and in a way he wanted you to fail. There was so much build-up inside of him and it appears that you were willing enough for him to use you as he pleased. That’s why you were his favorite. Bakugo knew what he was doing was wrong and he never expected to feel this way for one of his students but forbidden fruit tastes the best.

You stopped counting after the seventh blow, sorries, sirs and small whimpers fall from your lips as if they were your whole vocabulary. At one point you started crying, tears mixed with mascara running down your cheeks. He tried to remember something that turned him on more than the sight of your messed-up body with no luck. Everything build up inside of him, everything itching in his hands, the inner desires he had to soften for his ex, it all was going to come down on you. His thick girth twitched at the simple thought of finally being surrounded by your dripping wet cunt.

A warm soft hand rubbed over your bruised flesh while the other one found its way into your hair to pull you up to him, your back arched.

„What are you sorry for?“ Your mind was clouded with pleasure and pain, the only thought right now was the feeling of his dick print right between your sore cheeks. „I asked my little bitch a question, I expect you to fucking answer,“ this time he spanked you with his hand but it was just as intense as his ruler. „I don’t know,“ you breathed, a soft moan slipping out of you when his thumb barely circled your throbbing clit. „You’re just apologizing because you want me to use you?“ You could hear him chuckle lowly before he pushed your underwear to the side, his middle finger now playing with you. „Yes sir,“ Katsuki couldn’t hear a single ounce of shame in your voice and he wondered how long you had been thinking about him like this before.

„I never expected you to be such a dumb, cock hungry whore,“ The sound of his belt hitting the floor was dull like it was far away from you but at the same time, you felt him closer than before. Strong hands around your waist turned you around and once again he lifted your head with his finger underneath your chin, studying your ruined make-up as if he was memorizing every little detail he never wanted to forget. The blond, muscular man lifted you with ease, your behind getting a small moment of cooling as it hit his wooden desk.

Bakugo dried your tears slightly with his thumb, smearing it even more. „Only for you,“ you whispered and in that moment he couldn’t stop himself, he just had to kiss you. Not sweet and gentle, but passionately and hungry, like he was poisoned and your kiss was the antidote. The hand behind your head traveling to the front as you were laid down completely.

„If I had known before I would have fucked you so much sooner,“ with one hard thrust he was buried deep inside of you, one hand over your mouth because he knew you wouldn’t be able to keep quiet and the other one around your throat, squeezing shut and watching you struggle against it slightly. Your professor was thicker than what you were used to and you didn’t know how good it would feel until now. With the first few snaps of his hips, you knew you never wanted to feel something else anymore.

Your hands went to his arms and you tugged on them, causing him to let go as the blood found its way back to your brain. „Color?“ he asked, afraid you weren’t able to handle him. „Green,“ was all you could get out before another moan cut off your ability to talk.

„Good girl,“ he whispered into your ear, kissing down from your earlobe to your shoulder before sucking on a rather sensitive spot. Both of your wrists were held over your head with his left hand, with the explanation that he doesn’t appreciate being stopped while using you however he pleased. The right hand was going from between your chest after he admired your bouncing tits thoroughly, to your stomach to connect with your most sensitive bundle of nerves. Bakugo switched from circles to eights, from fast to slow, but the harshness of his hips never haltered.

„I know you wanna scream right now, but I can’t allow that. Can’t let others hear what a dirty slut you are for me right now. I promise I will fuck you in my house if you behave now. You can moan my name as much as you want. Or maybe I will gag you, watch you drool all over yourself. Maybe I will tie you up and edge you for an hour straight until you’re begging me to fuck you, you like the sound of that, huh? I can feel you squeezing around me,“ another chuckle left his plump lips as he watched you struggle to stay up on your feet.

„Maybe I will let you choke on my dick while I work on something for the next lesson. Gonna use you as my little cum dump. Let you think about it again when I talk about it in front of the whole class. Do-,“ you were so close when a sudden knock on the door startled you both, but he never once stopped what he was doing, if anything he went even harder, whispering into your ear to be quiet for him.

„Hey Kat, your ex is outside and says she wants to talk, want me to send her in?“ It was the psychologist professor Shinso, his voice as done and deep as usual. „No, I’m occupied,“ Bakugo saw your mouth open after you fought so hard against it, he couldn’t let you moan, not right now. He did the first thing he could think of, spitting into it and watching you swallow. Oh, he would definitely film you do this with his cum covering you everywhere and the thought brought him slightly closer to his release. „Still grading papers huh? I don’t get where you got all of that energy from,“ his voice was blurred out by Bakugo whispering into your ear. „Do you want me to tell you what we're doing right now? Let him know I’m fucking my little toy stupid right now?“ And while you were shaking your head no it was the last straw for you and you found yourself grabbing his hand to put over your mouth, biting your lips until you tasted blood to muffle the scream you couldn’t stop. Bakugo cursed under his breath when he could feel you throbbing around his dick and your nails digging into his arm. „Tell her to leave me the fuck alone, she’s already forgotten,“ his voice sounded strained and you knew he was close as well. „Ah, I see. Well then have fun,“ his laugh was fading away the further he went.

„Can’t believe that made you cum, you’re even more perfect than I thought, such a dirty girl, tsk,“ both his hands are on your hips and he pulled your body against him with every thrust. You were still coming down from your orgasm when you felt his thrusts turning sloppy before he stopped completely, his dick now pulsing while he was holding you tightly. Breath uneven and getting stable on his feet again he turned you around, careful so he wouldn’t hurt you.

„Next time I gonna make sure you can’t walk but right now I need you to be able to leave the building,“ he pulled his pants back up and added: „Sadly,“ before walking around his desk.

It was still hard for you to stand so you sat down, wincing as the usually soft cushion now felt like thousand of tiny spikes on your bruised ass. Before you pull your bottoms up again he grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, once again with a stern expression on his face you were so familiar with.

„I apparently really fucked you stupid if you think I let you leave like this,“ having him put cooling cream on your bare bum felt more intimate than having him be balls deep inside you. „Sorry I just thought-,“ „Well, you thought wrong. I don’t know what kind of boys you had in the past but now that you have me there are going to be changes, got that?“

[jolie-goes-downton]

Why are you so sure that the thing between Thomas & the actor guy in the DA2 trailer isn't mutual? The vibe I get is that Thomas doesn't hate what's happening. Barris are my otp, too. Just wondering.

I don’t know about vibes, but how about narrative logic?

In canon so far, we have seen Thomas interact with six men in a way that suggested a romantic and/or sexual attraction or interest, at least on the part of one of the participants. In chronological order, these six men eare: The Duke of Crowborough, Kemal Pamuk, Lieutenant Courtenay, Jimmy Kent, Chris Webster and Richard Ellis. (I know there’s a not inconsiderable portion of the fandom who would like to see Tom Branson included in this list, but IMHO the canon evidence is too ambiguous and uncertain to include Tom in this analysis.) These interactions play out very differently of course; in fact no two of them are alike. And each of those are a unique part of Thomas’ journey as a character.

With the Duke, we see a hopeful, young and maybe slightly naive Thomas whose hopes are cruelly dashed by either Philip just being a heartless bastard, or because they’re both victims of their complicated and incompatible circumstances.

With Kemal Pamuk, we see Thomas’ sexuality weaponised against him. Manipulative arse sets a trap, poor infatuated Thomas pitches into it headlong and pays the price.

Thomas and Edward Courtenay are the classic starcrossed lovers, doomed from the word go, ripped apart by an evil force stronger than both of them - and we see the depth of Thomas’ grief afterwards. Many mainstream/casual viewers realise for the first time at this point that this is definitely not a man with a heart made of stone.

With Jimmy Kent, we see for the first time just how far Thomas is willing to go for a man he loves. No matter whether you ship them romantically or see them as just friends, the enormous sacrifice Thomas makes at the Thirsk fair shows his selfless, caring and dedicated side. And the Jimmy story also gives us that beautiful moment, “I’m not foul”, which shows an amount of pride and defiance and courage that Thomas himself possibly didn’t know he possessed.

Chris Webster, as far as we know the first man since 1916 to express a romantic/sexual interest in Thomas, hooray! ultimately fails to give Thomas a happy ending in all senses of the word, because evil society destroys their chance at happiness. That's a recurring theme in Thomas’ love life, but it's never before been shown so brutally and scarily as in the Turton’s raid. Thomas has surely never been so happy and so frightened within one single hour of his life.

Richard Ellis ends up initiating the first on-screen kiss involving Thomas since the effing first episode of the effing first season of the entire show, so hooray to that, too. The kiss is preceded by a lot of bonding, both over an outrageous prank and a far more serious matter, and it’s followed by a promise, “till we meet again”. This may just be Thomas‘ first real chance at having his feelings requited and being allowed to make it work. Understandably, he’s overwhelmed.

So, what does that tell us about any potential future storylines for Thomas that involve romantic and/or sexual attraction to (or by) another man?

It tells me that the actor guy (Dexter) will offer a new angle, a new insight into Thomas’ love life. How exactly? I don’t know that. There are many possibilities. Thomas‘ sugar daddy? Make up your own minds how IC that would be for Thomas, never mind how likely in a PG film. A friendly mentor figure? Maybe! A provider of unwanted attention? Yeah, we haven’t seen that yet, either.

I think this latter option is actually the most likely, because we‘ve had Thomas wanting guys he (sadly or luckily) couldn’t have, we‘ve had guys wanting Thomas whom Thomas wanted back (with varying success), but we haven’t yet had a guy wanting Thomas when Thomas really wasn’t interested or had given his heart to someone else already. So I find it most plausible that that’s gonna be Mr Dexter. And no matter whether that’s just a short moment, quickly resolved, or whether it’s a storyline that’ll keep us on the edges of our seats throughout the entire movie, it will teach us something new about Thomas, too.

Because while we may joke all we like about the Bateses and their ever-repeating prison drama, Julian Fellowes does not tend to repeat himself where romance is concerned. Just like Mary/Henry isn‘t just another Mary/Matthew dynamic, Daisy/William played out very differently from Daisy/Andy, Edith/Bertie do not re-enact Edith/Michael and Tom/Lucy is probably not going to be a carbon copy of Tom/Sybil, I can’t see history repeating itself for Thomas either. Especially not for Thomas, who has been many things in this show, but never a static character!

According to this logic, Guy Dexter is unlikely to just be the new Philip, who - again - dazzles Thomas with the promise of a more glamorous life than he can ever hope to have as a servant, and then fails to deliver on his promise. He won’t just be the new Pamuk, again weaponising Thomas’ sexuality to do something nasty to a third person. But he won’t just join the ranks of the three tragic might-have-beens (Edward, Jimmy and Chris), either, because we’ve had every variation of that before, too. And neither will he be another Richard. Thomas finally ready to embark on something solid and long-term with someone who wants just the same? Been there already, too, thanks. No point in showing it to us twice.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Haven

Paralian: 2/9(or maybe more?)

Pairing: Winter Soldier x fem!reader

Words: ~2.5k

Summary: You and the Winter Soldier find comfort in each other at your seaside home. But the Soviet threat still looms.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex), minor medical procedure, fluff, angst with the threat of even more angst to come (I’m so sorry), SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: Well, here is fucking is, part two of Paralian. This series is going to break my damn heart, so I hope y’all are happy. I’ve got a whole, depressing arc planned so strap in.

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!

Divider by @firefly-graphics

It had been surprisingly easy for the two of you to fall into a comfortable rhythm.

You couldn’t exactly keep things a secret from him, not when one of the first things you had to do was search him for a tracking device. His gaze on you was exceptionally soft as you ran your hands over his body, starting at his flesh forearm as you searched for any abnormalities.

“They typically embed them pretty shallow, I’m hoping I won’t have to dig into the fascia at all if I find anything.” You explained, pressing your fingers into his bicep with a look of concentration. “Nothings coming back to you?”

“No, I’m sorry.” He swallowed thickly while he watched you, mesmerized by the movements of your hands over his skin. “I still can’t remember.”

“Honey, you don’t need to apologize.” Your hands moved to his shoulder. “I’m gonna need to call you something, though. You got any names floating around in there?”

He just smiled sadly and shook his head at you, taking a deep breath when you leaned closer to him. There was nothing weird in his shoulder so you moved to his neck, freezing suddenly when you felt a small divot in his scalenes.

“Fuck.” You hissed, pinching the abnormality between your fingers and considering your options. “Good news is it’s not in the muscle, but there’s some pretty important blood vessels here I really don’t want to nick.”

“I can hold still.” He said, gazing at you through his lashes while you chewed on your lip.

“I’d be slicing into your neck, I don’t think you can hold that still.” You stood up and leaned back on your heel, your breath catching when he grabbed your hand to keep you close.

“I trust you.” He said in a low voice, winding his fingers through yours before bringing your palm to his face and pressing it to his lips.

You took a deep breath and nodded at him, moving to grab some supplies and ordering him to remove his shirt. He did as you asked, releasing you reluctantly and never taking his eyes off you. It didn’t make any sense that he felt so safe with you in such a short time, but every time you were near him he could feel himself relax.

“Bite down on this.” You handed him a belt and draped a towel over his shoulder before running a flame over the knife you had brought with you. “Hopefully I won’t have to stitch you up. Ready?”

He gave you a brief nod when you soaked the area with betadine, finding the small divot again and gripping it tightly. You pressed the tip of your knife to his skin and made a quick cut, ignoring his pained breath and grabbing the forceps. Fortunately, you didn’t have to search long, finding the small metal chip almost immediately and pulling it out of him with a satisfied grunt.

“Keep biting.” You told him, dropping the chip on the table and pressing the towel to the cut. “I’m gonna stitch it for my own peace of mind.”

You picked out the sutures from your kit and held them out for him to open for you before you grabbed the needle drivers and set to work. Since the cut was so short you only needed to place three stitches, giving a small smile when you were finished.

“All done.” You told him, plucking the belt out of his mouth. “You are a great patient, sweetie.”

He gave you another one of those heartbreaking smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you towards him. You pressed your lips to his hair gently, letting him nuzzle into your stomach as you eyed the chip. 

“What’re you gonna do with it?” He asked, breathing in your scent until he felt the tension seep from his body.

“Wedge it in some debris and push it into the ocean.” You murmured, running your fingers through his hair in a soothing manner. “Come give me a hand?”

He stood up to follow you, pulling his shirt back over his head. The two of you moved out of your small house to the beach, picking your way through the debris as you moved closer to the water. You frowned as you looked at the wreckage, wondering how you were supposed to get the tracker to stay attached to one of these pieces of metal. He must have read your mind, grabbing the chip from you and folding a corner of debris around it with his metal fist.

“Huh, that thing is handy.” You huffed, reaching out to stop him when he started to heft the piece of debris. “No, don’t throw it! Just push it into the water so the tide can take it.”

“Why?” He asked, dragging the giant piece of debris after him as he edged towards the water. 

“So it looks like your body got washed back out to sea after the wreck.” You said, wrapping your arms around yourself when a sudden biting breeze blew in from the gulf.

“I’m dead in this scenario, then?” He shoved the metal into the water and started to walk back towards you.

“Yeah, that’s safest.” You said, kicking a loose pebble with your toe as you looked over the beach. “We should clean the rest of this shit up. I feel like it’ll go a lot faster with you here.”

It definitely did, that titanium arm of his making cleanup take just a few hours, rather than the several days it would have taken if you were by yourself. He wouldn’t let you touch any of the bigger pieces, not even breaking a sweat as he developed a very impressive pile of wreckage.

You moved back to the cabin when you were finished, heading to your radio to reach out to your contact in Helsinki to arrange for them to pick up the wreckage and bring you some more supplies. Your new housemate was going to need something aside from your leggings to wear with how cold some of the nights could get.

“You’re sure it’s safe?” He asked, following after you like a lost puppy while you moved to the kitchen. 

“They’re smugglers, as long as you stay out of sight it should be fine.” You set the kettle on the stove and sighed when he wrapped himself around you from behind. “Shit.”

“Please.” He buried his face in your hair and whined, the scent of you filling his lungs until he was panting with need. “God, I need you.”

You dropped your head against his shoulder as his hands moved to your breasts under your sweater, his mouth tracing over the curve of your neck as he murmured soft pleas in your ear. This could not keep happening, you were a professional, not a horny teenager. Yeah you were touch starved but that didn’t mean you were going to just let this man fuck you indiscriminately. 

But then you turned around and saw those damn puppy eyes and all your reservations flew right out of your head. What had they done to him to make him look so broken and lost?

He cupped your jaw with his titanium hand and tilted your head back to press his lips to yours and that was it. You could feel him relax when your breath mingled, his low groan vibrating against your chest as his flesh hand curled over your hip and drove you into him.

“Fuck, honey.” You purred, sighing when he started trailing his lips down your throat and pressed himself even further into you. “Take what you need. It’s going to be ok.”

His breath left him in a deep sigh as he took a beat to gaze at you, his eyes soft when he moved his face back to yours and breathed deeply. Your own hands skimmed up his sides until you could frame his face, skimming your fingertips through his hair and smiling softly as you curled your legs around him. 

Air cooled the wetness between your thighs when he tore your leggings open, his flesh hand dipping between your legs and cupping your throbbing core as he covered your lips with his own. The tip of his cock teased against your clit and he swallowed your sharp gasp, smiling softly and letting out a low whine when he slowly shoved his hips forward until he was fully sheathed in your warmth.

You could tell he was holding back when he started grinding against you at an agonizing pace, relishing the feel of your soft walls clenching around him as he nipped gently at your lips. He screwed his eyes closed when you gripped his hair by the roots and started moving your hips against his, trying to keep himself from going completely feral.

“Baby, hey, look at me.” You cooed, peppering soft kisses all over his face until he dragged his eyelids open and met your gaze. “It’s ok. I want this. You can move.”

“Promise me.” He pleaded, and you could’ve sworn you could see tears brimming in his eyes. 

“Oh, honey.” You probably shouldn’t make any guarantees, but the way he was looking at you made you ache. “I promise.”

He covered your lips with his and let out a low growl, dragging out of you almost fully before slamming forward and making you cry into his mouth when his swollen tip kissed your cervix. The pace he was setting was making it hard for you to stay focused, his pelvis grinding against your clit with each violent shove until your eyes were rolling back in your skull. 

Pleasure started gathering in the pit of your stomach when you collapsed back against your counter, mugs and dishes sliding to the floor and breaking as he fucked into you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. A low moan left your lips when he ripped your sweater open and curled his body over yours, his mouth immediately finding your nipple and latching on while your back arched you further into him.

He completely lost himself in you. The way your body was responding to him was everything he didn’t know he needed. Every soft whimper and desperate mewl that fell from your lips flooded his veins with warmth until you were the only thing that existed, the soft curves of your body welcoming him like home.

The coil in your stomach finally snapped and you wailed, your body trying to curl back on itself as your vision completely whited out with pleasure. You felt him groan against your chest as you fluttered wildly around him, your body trying to draw him even deeper while you came violently. Then you were flooded with warmth when he filled you with his seed, spilling it deep within your soft walls and collapsing on top of you with a contented sigh as your hands ran through his hair.

He tilted his head up and rested his chin between your breasts, gazing at you lovingly through his lashes as the two of you came down. That look was going to be the death of you, you just knew it. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He sighed, straightening up and pulling your face up to meet his in a soft kiss.

“And you’re dangerous.” You took the edge off your words with a warm smile, opening yourself up to him and letting him stroke your tongue with his until you were whining for him. 

God, you were a stupid woman, but how could you care when he was looking at you like that?

It had been three months of pure bliss. The two of you lost yourselves in each other completely, barely leaving your tiny cabin except for when you would let him hold you as you watched the sun set over the sea. 

You had managed to settle on the name Jamie for him after trying to delve into the recesses of his mind and coming up with nothing. But he liked when you mentioned the name James, and for some reason hearing you call him Jamie always made him smile.

The radio had been extremely quiet ever since the storm. You still had to do your regular check-ins with the SHIELD base in Helsinki, but it was surprisingly easy to keep them off your backs. You’d been doing it for the past three years after all.

And there was nothing from the Soviets. Maybe you should have been a little more concerned, you were playing house with their most valuable asset. But how could you think about that when Jamie was spending most of his time buried between your thighs and taking you apart like it was his job?

Right now he was laying with his head in your lap after you two had spent the whole stormy afternoon tangled together, smiling up at you and letting his eyes drift closed as you read The Hobbit to him. It was his favorite, and you were pretty sure this was that tenth time the two of you had read through it.

You were narrating Bilbo and the dwarves’ adventures in the Mirkwood when you heard your radio crackle to life. You ignored it, that happened sometimes and it was usually just a shipping freighter that had bled into one of your channels.

“Тоска.”

That was a little weird, but you still ignored it, running your fingers through his hair as you continued reading.

“Ржавый.”

Jamie went still for a beat and you barely registered it, continuing your narration as you tucked your legs under you.

“Семнадцать.”

Pain radiated through your arm when he grabbed your wrist suddenly, the bones grinding together and making you hiss when you looked down to see blind panic taking over his face.

“Turn it off.” He gasped, his eyes pleading with you desperately.

“What?”

“Рассвет.”

“The radio, turn it off!” His body jolted off the couch like he had been shot, and you dove towards the radio with a muttered curse as he cried out like he was in pain.

“Печь.”

You scrambled across the cabin, tripping over your feet but managing to reach it and shut it off before any more words could come through. He was panting on the floor when you turned back to him, and you rushed back to curl your body around his. It was everything you could do to keep from crying when he buried his face in your neck and started sobbing, his arms pulling you to him desperately as he tried to calm down.

“Jamie, honey, talk to me.” You ran your hands over his spine in an attempt to soothe him. “What was that?”

“I don’t know.” He was panicking, the only anchor he had right now was you and he was holding onto you like he would never let you go. “I felt like I was losing myself.”

“Shit.” That sounded like a fucking trigger phrase. 

“They know I’m alive.” He tilted his face up to yours and gazed desperately into your eyes. “They’ll come for me.”

A/N: It’s gonna get so bad you guys, but you all asked for this so don’t come for me!

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[velvetcloxds]

PLEASE, CALL ME REMUS| R.L.

Pairing: Remus x fem!Reader, Remus x Student,  Teen Wolf x Hogwarts

Word count: 2466 words

Warning: student teacher relationship sort of (reader is of age, Remus is leaving Hogwarts)

Summary: When news gets out of Remus leaving Hogwarts, the reader pays him a visit in his office before he goes, revealing that she has feelings for him and asking if he feels the same.

I steal a quick glance to the other side of the hall, seeing Harry standing up slowly, cursing under his breath as he looks at me. I smile at him, mouthing an apology before turning to the already open classroom door, slipping passed the chairs and drifting up the stairs where I release a soft breath when looking up to see him packing his office into boxes.

"Professor?" I question almost inaudible, the determination I had to come here slipping away into nerves from the pure idea of his presence. He halts his actions for a sweet second, the softest whisper of a smile tugging at his lips when he notices me.

"Y/n..." He whispers, shaking his head lightly before looking up at me. "I expected you to come see me eventually." I smile, placing my hand on the doorframe as I lean into it.

"I accidently pushed Harry Potter down in order to beat him here, " He smiles, eyes meeting mine as my lips mimic his. "If he does end up saving the world, he may just let me burn." I add, with a shrug which earns a soft laugh from him as he pulls his hair from his face, my heart sinking at the clear view of his new scars.

"Come in," He tells me, gesturing towards the door. "Close it behind you." He adds and I blush lightly as I step into his office, hands lingering on the doorknob.

"You're leaving." I say, still facing the door as I take advantage of the opportunity to get a grip on myself. He breathes out softly.

"I am," He replies, faltering as I turn around to face him. "It's not a decision that I took lightly in making," He offers as a sense of reasoning and I smile sadly, eyes avoiding his as I rake them over the piles of books on his desk. "Believe me, dear Y/n, if there was another option, I would take it gladly." He adds, leaning back against his bookshelf, hands moving to his pockets.

"I know," I say, taking a small step forward towards his desk, mindlessly taking a book into my hands, skimming over the title as I feel his eyes on me. "I'll miss you," I say and move my fingers over the golden writing. "It was rather comforting having someone around just like me." He nods.

"Indeed," He takes a step forward as well, gently taking the book from my hands. "Though I'd be honest, Y/n, you are the furthest from being like me than anyone I'd yet to meet," He raises a brow when I meet his gaze. "You are far too good and far too kind to be identifying with the remainder of the lycanthrope species." I smile, wanting to drop my hand until he carefully takes it into his.

"I have to ask," I begin, attention jumping to the soft motion of his thumb moving against mine. "The feelings that I have for you, Professor," He sighs deeply as the word leaves my lips and I smile in reply. "Were they misplaced?" I question and I feel my cheeks tinting rose as I await his response.

"Never," He whispers almost urgently, eyes filling with guilt as he takes yet another step towards me. "Respectfully, miss Y/n, I'd have to confess that there was not a second of the day which you were not dwelling in my thoughts." He smiles, a blush of his own meeting his cheeks. I nod, tightening my fingers around his to savor his touch.

"Respectfully, Professor Lupin, I'd have to confess the very same," We smile, a second of silence as I desperately take his features and presence in for one last time and I hope his silence is due to him doing the same, because I put up no effort to hide my eyes traveling from feature to feature, pausing for a second as if I am making a mental note of all my favorite parts. "Will I ever see you again?" I question carefully, knowing the answer already, but hoping for the opposite anyway.

"I am not sure we will." He answers carefully, eyes falling, and shoulders slumping, and I prepare to remove my hand from his. I nod, ripping my eyes away from him when I hear footsteps stilling in front of the door.

"Bloody seventh years doing as they please. I ought to report her to Dumbledore, is what I should do." Harry's voice drifts into the silent office and I fill with disappointment knowing our time is up.

Professor Lupin smiles sadly, lifting my hand to his lips where he places a whisper of a kiss against my knuckles, his breath tickling my skin as he pulls away.

"I will miss you, Y/n," He tells me softly, knowing that Harry may hear from outside the door. "It was an absolute pleasure getting to know you." I release a shaky breath, eyes burning slightly as I bite back tears.

"Will you be okay?" I ask, allowing myself to steal a glance at his scars. "Will you be safe on your own?" I add and his entire face smiles as he looks at me.

"I have been struggling with my disease for longer than I can remember," He tells me. "I have been worse, and I'll be worse still, but me and my troubles are not your burden. I never hoped to be."

"You weren't," I say too quickly and he nods, releasing my hand to fall to my side. "If you ever find yourselves in the chaotic town of Beacon Hills, promise me you'll come see me." I plea, paying no mind to the desperation slipping from my tongue.

"I promise." He tells me as a knock sounds at the door.

"Professor?" Harry asks loudly. "Are you still in there?" I shake my head as I step away.

"Goodbye, Professor Lupin." I say and he shakes his head with a sad smile.

"Remus," He says and places the book from earlier down onto the table. "Please, call me Remus." He says and I nod.

"Goodbye Remus." I say and turn away, no longer able to control the urge to cry. I open the door quickly, Harry stepping aside when he sees me. Despite myself, I look back at Professor Lupin one more time, seeing him inch closer when he sees my tears and I shake my head, ignoring Harry's confusion as I walk away from the office and the man who somehow captured my heart, before I could break down completely.

The rest of the year passed in a blur. I remained as far from the chaos and trouble as I could, passing Professor Lupin's class a few times a day and watching as someone new interacted inside it. I could never quite explain what I felt for him. I would have called it a simple crush at first, but then again crushes very rarely share that feeling. I would have jotted in down as a case of lust, me being lonely and him being both kind and autoreactive. But all and all I decided to leave my feelings unclarified. I cared quite a lot for Remus Lupin, and I believe he cared for me as well. In different circumstances we may have had a chance for more, but I made morbid peace with the horrible fate that Hogwarts sealed for us.

"I think you're being dramatic." Stiles tells me, reaching over me to grab a fry from the plate.

"I'm not," I say taking a sip from my milkshake. "I have not known a single moment of peace since Derek Hale came into my life." I explain loudly, Derek laughing lightly from the other side of the booth and Scott simply nods. Lydia shakes her head at Stiles who steals a sip of her soda float.

"To be fair, you're still a witch, it's not like you'd be completely trouble free without Derek as your alpha." Malia says and she frowns when Scott wipes a napkin over her lip to remove some ketchup.

"Fair point," I say and lean forward. "However, I think my time at Hogwarts would've been much more enjoyable had I not been forced to tie myself up with chains in the shrieking shack every full moon." I add with a smile, laughs and nods filling the table and I sit back against the booth. Watching as they change the topic, laughing and smiling still.

But I cannot help but feel silly, the second I said it, Remus slipped into my mind. The memory of us running into each other on the first full moon he was at Hogwarts, him helping me with my chains before undergoing his own change, a protection spell keeping me hidden from his rage. I remember cleaning his wounds for the first time, checking for deep cuts and breaks. I remember the utter confusion on his face when I took some of his pain. I remember the small smile he gave me when I entered his class the next day to give him a message from Professor Snape. I remember every single smile he ever gave me; they were both rare and abundant, the real task was deciphering which were real and which were for show. I remember realizing that most of the real ones were aimed at me.

"So, I have a Hogwarts question." Stiles announces, his arm hitting mine as he turns towards me. I roll my eyes as I look up from the fries I was loosely staring at.

"You always do." I say and everyone laughs. Stiles scrunches his nose at me before leaning forward.

"How come you remained a witch after Derek bit you?" He says and Lydia nods.

"I don't know," I say with a shrug, knowing how often the question had bothered me in the past as well. "I had a friend who tried to explain it to me," I say, hoping that the table full of werewolves do not pick up on the change in my chemo signals. "He said that werewolves were basically like hybrids, half human and half wolf and seeing as I'm a witch, I'm simply half witch and half wolf."

"So, there are werewolves at Hogwarts too?" Malia asks and I nod.

"They're different though." I say and everyone looks at me for an explanation. "They can't control it like we do." I explain and fiddle with my fingers. "It's like the werewolf in them is a whole different soul without any empathy, without any concept of decency." I explain further, Stiles mocking a shiver next to me.

"It sounds awful." Lydia says and I nod, not meeting her gaze.

"It is." I say softly, Remus filling my mind again.

"Seems like you learnt a lot from your friend though." Scott notes and I nod with a smile.

"He was quite the teacher." I say and they smile in return. Derek glances at his watch and then frowns.

"It's late," He announces and takes the last sip of his soda. "We should get going, the rest of you bunch are graduating tomorrow." He explains and everyone agrees, slipping their cash onto the table as we all cover the cost and the tip.

"Are you coming?" Lydia asks and I shake my head.

"I'm going to grab another milkshake," I say and she raises a brow. "I'm good Lyds, I'll see you guys tomorrow," I smile. "Big day." I add and she nods.

"I'll be the one with the gown and the cap." She notes, leaning down to give me a quick hug before rushing to the exit where Stiles is holding the door open for her. I look out the window as I watch them all get into their cars, riding off a few minutes later into different directions. I let out a sigh.

I hate being alone, when I'm alone I always end up thinking of him.

"Butterbeer." The waiter says as he places the pitcher down in front of me. I frown.

"I'm sorry what?" I ask, looking between him and the table. There are only a few places on earth that serve butterbeer and Beacon Hills diner is not one of them.

"Butterbeer," The waiter repeats. "A guy brought it to the kitchen, said it's a inside joke or something." He explains and I sit up straight.

"What guy?" I ask as I look around the diner, the waiter joining me in the search.

"Man, he was here a second ago." He explains as my eyes catch the back of someone's head just as the diner door closes. It could not be. It could not possibly be.

"Excuse me." I say in a rush as I run to the exit, slipping my change into my pocket as I do.

The cold hits me like a wave of needles as I step into the street, the few cars scattered around me, belonging to regulars and workers and I let out a deflated sigh.

"I'm right here, miss Y/n," His voice informs me, and a shiver slowly vibrates through my entire body as I turn around to see him. His eyes almost twinkling in the shadow of the streetlight as he smiles at me from where he leans against my car. His smile grows as I stare at him blankly, my mind barely comprehending the fact that he is here, let alone here for me. He walks towards me carefully, as if he is scared to spook me. "I'm right here." He repeats, softer this time as he stills in front of me.

"Professor..." I whisper, more to myself than him as I rake my eyes over every feature of his face, checking my mental notes with the ones I made months ago when he left. He nods, gently slipping his hand into mine, lifting it to his lips like how he did in his office that day.

"Please..." He begins, lips brushing over the skin of my knuckles. "Call me Remus," I smile, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as I senselessly move towards him, brining my hand over his scarred cheek as I almost desperately connect my lips with his own. The action prompts the most intoxicating smile from him before he returns the gesture, hands respectfully moving to my waist before he nimbly pulls away. He shakes his head as we remain close, eyes copying the actions of my own a few minutes ago. "You are remarkable, Y/n." He tells me breathless, and I smile, moving my hands to the collar of his coat.

"So are you, Remus." I say and his eyes darken the slightest bit as his name slips from my lips.

"Bloody hell." He whispers, nodding to himself and looking to the side before gently forcing me into his embrace, my face nestling into his chest as his cologne consumes me.

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubertt. Mxx.

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