#{ tw; depression }

[stonyinspiration]

People in this fandom usually depict Tony as the one that’s apprehensive about fatherhood, while fatherhood comes naturally for Steve.

I respectfully disagree with this.

Here are my reasons for coming to this conclusion:

Even without Morgan, Tony has this naturally nurturing side that comes out with the people he loves. He’s definitely the paternal figure to his team; he pays for everything, personally makes them healthy smoothes, stacks the fridge with all their favorite foods, builds and repairs their costumes and weapons, and gets frustrated when they don’t follow the simple house rules (coffee grinds in the sink). Not only do his teammates sometimes act like children that need to be cared for, but he also has the bots to care for. He cares so much about everyone because he knows what it feels like to be unloved, and helping others also keeps his own emotional demons at bay. He suffers from anxiety and suffers from feelings of inadequacy, so he’s gonna initial freak over having his own child. Once the child is born though, he will see how naturally fatherhood comes to him Domestically itself feels like a reprieve from his chaotic life and for once he’s not constantly worrying about the future. After yearning for his father’s love for so long, he can finally heal his inner child by giving his own child unconditional love.

Steve originally wanted to marry and have children solely because that was expected for everyone when he was growing up. Then he found his own family in The Avengers and gradually started moving away from the idea of a traditional family. Tony’s self-destruction was much more noticeable, while Steve’s self-destruction is quieter and doesn’t get the attention it deserves, which doesn’t allow him to seek help for it. While Tony starts to heal, Steve only seems to get worse in the sense that he is ready to die without a moments hesitation. Steve is also younger and has had so much of his life stolen from him that he wouldn’t see the appeal of being tied down at least before his 40’s. He’s a romantic at heart but it doesn’t coincide with the way he lives his life. He has a big, loving heart but he’s also afraid of letting people in. As the team’s leader he is responsible for their safety, which of course weighs heavily on his shoulders; his alone time is vital for him to decompress and helps him go on pretending to be their unflappable leader. I picture fatherhood either being thrust upon him or him having a child when he is older and more settled down. If it’s thrust upon him when he’s younger, then he’s definitely gonna struggle with it in terms of how it pertains to his identity. He would step up to the responsibility and adore his child more than anything in the world, but fatherhood won’t come as naturally at first. Even if he eases himself into it, he can’t help but feel out of place in a domestic setting, which would lead to feelings of guilt that will turn into depression. Either way he will end up being an amazing father but not without struggle and inner turmoil.

[arc-knights]

|| not to show my depression through art but sometimes it helps to express .

[terrence-silver]

What do you think terry would do if he found his beloved crying in the mirror because they didn’t like the way they looked??

What's his reaction? Crinkled nose of anger. 👇🏻

Might just get straight into his beloved's face, trespassing the personal bubble to lecture them about it, pissed off as he would be. I mean, look at this --- it's in his habit, after all.

---

He likes how they look --- adores how they look, in fact.

And his opinion is just about the only one that matters and should matter.

But, fact is, Terry Silver's openly offended on beloved's behalf, and he is very likely to just downright...hotheadedly argue them that they're so very wrong and that he wont stand for this, lack of a better word, bullshit. Because that's what it is to him. It's bullshit. Did someone say something to them? Should he ensure someone's teeth gets kicked in? Who should he fire? Retaliate against? Should he be here concocting revenge? Against how many people? One? Two? Ten? Should he have his people track someone down? Set their house on fire as payback? Should he have every mirror in the mansion smashed with his own two fists? Should he do the opposite and have even more ordered and brought in so beloved has no choice but to, quite literally, face themselves everywhere they turn? Terry's willing to create an enemy out of this, purely to have who and what to decimate for beloved, hoping that in doing so, they'll see what he sees in them and nothing else, because that's the only accurate point of view to have --- but if this enemy simply stems from beloved's own mind and internal insecurity and no place else, he takes on the approach of a Sensei and coaches and wears them down with some very adamant pep talks and counsel, aggressively at that, until they pretty much have to capitulate and accept they're beautiful because Terry Silver's a difficult person when he wants to be and he wont let this issue go until they do. He won't let this issue go until he wins.

Until their thoughts, outlook and views match his.

Man's gonna force motivation on beloved, whether they like it or not.

Might even come off as a bit insensitive with how he tackles the problem initially, but that's merely because Terry's likely to be so infuriated that beloved thinks they're ugly or in some way lacking (and by extension, insulting themselves and him through it as well --- insulting his good taste and ability to choose only the best) that he can't exactly approach the issue in a tremendously gentle manner, because he doesn't approach stupid conclusions in a gentle manner. This is an issue that beloved has to let him burry and burn if they don't want it spiraling out of control.

Not to mention --- it's downright dangerous for beloved to do anything but.

Because someone might just innocently get hurt seeing as how Terry absolutely won't sit down until he doesn't find and discover who or what is responsible for making beloved feel this way and might even wrongly someone's that they've been disrespecting his beloved and giving them wry looks continuously to have resulted in this complex purely so he could take his anger out somewhere --- anywhere. Safe to say Terry Silver takes beloved belittling themselves in any way extremely to heart and he feels more impassioned on the subject than beloved themselves.

Beloved tears ain't for free. Very expensive, in fact.

Priceless.

Someone's gotta pay dearly for them.

[dick-meister]

A moment to breathe….

Adam stood in the doorway of his home. Fingers stained with dirt and grime. He barely had time to even think when coming back to Heaven as he carried the body of the last person he felt that genuinely loved him and buried her himself. Adam had dealt with loss so many times before, losing Charlie twice, losing Lute… It was all starting to break him.

The silence of his home only reminded him of a few facts. One, that he needed to redecorate to fill the void of this room and two… He didn’t have anyone to come home to. Not anymore.

It’s easy to take for granted what you have, even if Lute bantered with him heavily, it was nice to have her by his side. It was nice to have someone to talk to, who genuinely enjoyed his presence and gave him the care and respect he felt he deserved. The sound of metal clanking on the floor could be heard. He had dropped Oath keeper as his dirt covered fingers just couldn’t handle the weight anymore. Next was his guitar, dropping to the floor carelessly.

The First Man… Still ever so unlucky as he felt… Abandoned. But that was the usual outcome for him, right? Lilith leaving him for Lucifer, being Casted out of Eden, Eve dying in childbirth. It was just the reoccurring theme of his life, wasn’t it? Doomed to be alone.

His shoulders slumped and he dropped to his knees and soon laid on the hard wood of the floors. He should get himself to bed, but what does it matter? Who gave a shit. He felt so broken and in a place where he couldn’t talk about it because who would genuinely listen? Who would take his words to heart and comfort him? Everyone’s lost someone. So why should it be different for him?

In his eyes. He’s lost… Everyone. He still didn’t get to talk about how Lilith’s death affected him, he didn’t talk about how the white room affected him and now? He knew for a fact that no one would listen to him about Lute’s death or Charlie’s second one… He had no energy left. The only person who had held him was that Angel and he already knew she had malicious intent for him if he pursued her. Which, he didn’t want to either way. Hell, he didn’t even want to see her. Pity from the enemy is worse than no pity at all.

So he stayed there, listening to his own breathing, one ear being plugged by lying against the hard wood floor which made they breathing ever so louder, almost tauntingly so. As if to remind him once again, there were far better people who had died and not him.

A slow blink, the feeling of something wet. How long had he been crying for? He didn’t know. Didn’t care. There were no sobs from his lips, there was no sound coming from him. Just a steady stream of tears.

There had to be something he could do, he’s already sold his soul. What else could he do? He would have to think about that later. Maybe… He would talk to his father again. Maybe he would stay on this floor until the cycle ends. Maybe someone would visit him. Whatever it was, he couldn’t find the energy to move his muscles any longer. While others were finding hope in the cycle succeeding, Adam… knew one way or another. All of this would end with his death.

And you know, if it did end up that way? Then maybe it’s for the better.

They deserved a break from him.

[ajokeformur-ray]

GOOD personal news!!!! (I am Proud™️ of myself)!!!!!

So, okay. I am slightly hesitant to share this in case it's only temporary, but @darklylucid very kindly told me to share it because it's good news and it's something to be proud of!!!❤️

TW; talks of negative anti-depressant side effects and me being irresponsible with prescribed medication, mentions of nausea and bad periods, mentions of health anxieties such as being sick as a result of medications and self-starvation (it's all because meds made me feel so sick I couldn't eat etc.), talks and discussions of stress, anxiety, depression and cognitive behavioural therapy, talks of doctors visits, one mention of covid boosters and bad side effects from that, one mention of passive suicidal ideation, this is a positive post but please read with caution if anything in this tw paragraph may upset or offend you!

I started therapy for my stress and severe anxiety five weeks ago. When I started, my anxiety and depression scores were both at 21/21. I was, essentially, a walking anxiety attack experiencing passive suicidal ideation.

Today, two weeks after uni officially started and five weeks after starting therapy, I scored 12/21 for both anixety and depression for the third week in a row, meaning both have improved to being moderate without medication!!!

(We all remember the absolute fear surrounding that fiasco and I still say medication wasn't the right treatment plan for me. I do have a prescription but I never picked it up and I won't pick it up because of how bad the physical side effects were. The nausea got so bad I was actively starving myself for seven weeks because I couldn't eat anything, while in the middle of end of year assignments and my job pulling me in for overtime constantly. My health anxiety, generalised anxiety and lifestyle couldn't sustain it. Everyone told me to "give it time", but after seven weeks of the worst periods I've ever had in my life and of constant nausea, I couldn't take it anymore so I quit my medication cold turkey without consulting my doctor. The medication was hurting me and not even working; I felt worse physically and mentally and my anxiety was still there, except I also felt like a zombie. I was offered a different medication but I never picked up the prescription for it out of fear that this would continue, since all SSRIs have the same side effects. I have told my therapist this and though she doesn't know any details beyond "I don't want to take it", she supports my decision. A week after I stopped my medication, my periods returned to normal and the nausea disappeared, my appetite came back and I felt better. I refuse to try again and have decided to focus on my therapy as the treatment plan. Medication isn't right for me and that's okay.)

I don't know if this improvement in my anxiety and depression is because of the therapy or because I now wake up at 3am to study before I go to work, which means that I study when I am fresh and well-rested, go to work, then come home and only have to relax, which means more free time. This decreases my stress, which lowers my anxiety and therefore improves my depression (my anxiety was so severe it caused the depression; they are not two separate conditions in my case), and means I can eat and sleep better and more.

The lifestyle switch and therapy both started at the same time, so I can't say for sure which has led to the improvement in my mental well-being, but I find myself not caring all that much. I am healing, I am doing well, I have had one anxiety attack in the last month, and that's... the news I wanted to share. My hair is gorgeous, I am eating and sleeping well, I am happier, healthier, I am not behind in uni, therapy is helping me... I'm not perfect, that would mean I don't exist, but I am healing and in a good place right now. I'm not sure if this is temporary, since uni has just started and I won't know until Christmas since that's when they throw us in at the deep end with the syllabus, but I still wanted to share this news.

I didn't think I could handle therapy, uni and my job at the same time, let alone looking for work experience in the mental health sector, but here I am, doing what I thought I couldn't, and dare I say it... I'm happy. I caught myself smiling while brushing my hair this morning, and apart from a few weeks ago when the covid booster gave me chest pains for a week, I can't remember the last time I had a tight chest due to stress and/or anxiety.

I can't thank you all enough for your friendships, encouragement, love, support, comments, asks... you've all helped me so so much, you do help me, and now I'm feeling better, I'm going to be looking at focusing on writing again. Especially since I'm not sure if this is temporary or not - but I feel hopeful for the future and for myself, for the first time in... a decade or so. I think I'm gonna be okay and right now, at least, I'm proud of myself.❤️

[shiroi---kumo]

( @aquaticsoul ) ->

🛠️ +

"Pikkuveli?"

"I know. They'll go to him if anything happens. I promise."

He remembers the conversation more often than he'd like to. He remembers her far clearer than he thinks he probably should given how much time has passed, but he also supposes it would be impossible to forget the other half of himself.

He still finds himself wishing that comfortable presence would settle at his right side again. He still finds himself distant, longingly looking for her missing half that had by chance and miracle formed distinctly next to his.

The last pieces of her take the shape of an earring and a necklace. And he knows what he needs to do with that earring, that bind, yet he hesitates to even disclose that he has it in his possession.

The right thing to do is the hard thing. The right thing to do is to give it to Pilvi, but the fact that it's one of two pieces left of her Mist makes it exceedingly difficult to part ways with.

Would she deliberate like this if it were him instead?

He ponders it as he finally puts the gem of blue and white back into its place on his ear. His eyes fall back to the necklace that he'd made for her, brilliant aqua hanging from a dark cord.

They did everything together for the longest time. They should both go to Pilvi together and surely that will make this process a bit easier. He tucks the necklace of aqua into the box where the earring of violet rests.

That looks much better.

The box snaps closed and slides back under his pillow. Cid enters before anyone else, likely to check on him for the thousandth time and ask once again if there's anything he can do.

Usually, Sielu always answers by shaking his head.

Not this time. He cuts straight to his point before the blond has time to even ask.

He'd been prepared for this possibility. He extends the paper he'd written on in the best Wonderlandian he could manage.

[ I am fine. Thank you. Could you get Kumo for me? Tell him it is important, before I make a coward of myself? ]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ He had been on his way to check on his patient when he was met with straight answers. A note handed to him in messy handwriting and a request. A request for Kumo and he's sure somehow that it must be strange for them to call him as such, when he is coming to find quickly Kumo is not his name.

He was right this whole time when he heard Kaze call him Pilvi damn near a year ago. He was right this whole time but he didn't dare call him such a thing when Kumo hasn't given him permission to do so. He just needs to figure out when he's going to approach the subject.

There's a smile and a nod as indigo lifts to look at the Misterican of blue before him. He's finally working with him and he's finally speaking for himself - even if he still doesn't have the voice to do so.

"Oh, I don't know where he is exactly at the moment. Last I knew he was taking a bath, but I'll check to see if he's done for you."

The blond gives the - if this man was one of Kumo's teachers then he has to be older than him by quite a bit but he certainly doesn't look like he is - then again Kumo doesn't look very old either.... still he gives the older man a smile.

"I'll be back in a minute."

The engineer leaves to make his way towards the room that the swordsman has come to call his own and there a knock at the door before he cracks it open to see if he's sleeping perhaps. He seems to sleep so much nowadays and he still hasn't quite figured out why yet -

But he doesn't seem to be here? Perhaps he's still in the bath? He can always knock and just tell him to come when he's done. Sielu said it was important after all and he's not the one who needs to judge what a Misterican decides is important to another. So steps carry him down the halls but for some reason his stomach twists the further he goes.

Something suddenly just has his whole body feeling off and something in the air is tense and is that crying? The closer he gets the louder the sound becomes until he realizes it isn't crying it's Kumo crying. It has him taking off into a dead run until he finds himself in front of the door he was headed to anyway and he pushed the door open without invitation.

"Kumo I'm sorry to barge in you but are you o - "

Indigo fills with the sight of the half dressed man weeping into the arms of the smallest of the Amestrians but Kumo's back - Kumo's back was - what was all over Kumo's back? It looked like the scar -

"K- Kumo your back- What is - "

He can only stare in horror as his friend releases his hold on his other friend to push away from him and now he can see Kumo's chest as he comes to face him and it's ... the scars have spread out. His skin looks like ... like glass. Like he's shattering.

That's not possible.

People don't shatter.

Why does Kumo's skin look like glass? What is -

The shame that is plastered across the Misterican's face is hard to miss and it shatters his own heart upon seeing jade eyes look at him while filled with both so much shame and so much fear. Kumo looks terrified and suddenly the technician has forgotten all about the reason he came to get him in the first place.

"I'm sorry." The word sobs out as the swordsman just lets himself sink to set on the floor fully. "I'm sorry Cid. I was scared. I'll tell you everything. I love you. " He pauses to pull a breath between hurried words. "I love you. Please don't be mad. I love you so much. Please don't get mad at me. I was scared. I didn't want - to upset you but now I'm going to anyway. I'm sorry Cid. I swear I didn't mean any harm. I - "

"Kumo stop." The blond starts up again as he crosses the space between himself and his friend only to slowly come down to the floor and set in front of him. Gently does he take trembling hands into his own.

"I don't know what is going on, but we're going to get through this. We'll figure it out. You're not alone in this and I'm going to help you however I can, okay? But I need you to put your shirt on. Sielu is calling for you. He said it was important. We can talk later, alright? Will you come with me for him?"

There is a long intake of breath pulled up through a sniffling nose as a head of white nods. Bare hands wipe against his eyes in an attempt to clean himself up.

"Joo." He starts. "You can go and I'll be there in a minute. Just let me get dressed."

A soft smile first and the engineer moves to reach his arms forward for the first time in some time to wrap them around the weeping man in order to give him a quick embrace.

"I'll tell him you're on your way then."

And it doesn't take long to get back to the medical wing so that he can poke his head into the room where his patient waits. The blond is taking a seat for the moment giving him a smile.

"He was just getting out of the bath." He explains. "He said he'll be here once he's done getting dressed."

Reassurance and confirmation that he did the requested task and he wasn't just bullshitting the man but it makes him wonder how they will react to Kumo's back and chest. Do they know? Did he tell them? Knowing Kumo - probably not. He probably only told Kain.

There are footsteps a moment later as a body of white swings around the corner met with jade eyes still slightly pink from crying as pale lips stretch out into a false smile.

"You were calling for me, Opettaja?"

[ryusxnka]

i want you guys to know that it's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry, it's okay to take breaks, & put yourself first. -------- Depression sucks and emotions, despite their weights and frustrations, make you fundamentally human; if anyone shames you for being upset, depressed, or call you oversensitive all the time, then they don't deserve you. ---- As long as you don't abuse others with said emotions, you are vastly valid & i hope all your sorrows pass; you all merit solace & happiness.

[chaoticallycosmic]

To all my lovely and fantastic writing partners;

Hi, I know it has been a long while since I have been active and replying to threads. The last time I made a post was a few weeks ago, and I am sorry I haven't communicated regularly.

There has been a lot going on with me and within my family, and I don't know how I am alive now. There have been significant losses in the family that have made my depression and anxiety significantly worse.

I also had some very terrifying health scares, and my job hasn't let down either, the stress of everything I have constantly been dealing with has made it very difficult to get on, and I am so sorry about that.

Yesterday, however, has been the most devastating so far. One of my dear cousins very unfortunately and sadly overdosed in the early morning hours, and it's been tough on the family.

So, I promise it has not been a lack of interest or muse; it has just been life throwing curveballs at me. You're all extremely talented. I still want to continue writing with all of you.

If you are still on board, I will attempt to reply to things to distract myself and keep myself busy. My therapist recommended I try to do things that make me happy, and writing does make me happy; it's just been hard to turn on the creative when dealing with loss. But I will be trying my best.

I hope you are all doing well, though. @stxrrynightc

@missautumn

@utterxdesires @midnightsaboteur @archxngxl @writermuses @loveofcharacters

[cffidelityy]

closed starter || @king-of-darkness

Seven years. It had been seven years since the worst day of Sigyn's life. She had lost everything on that ship, and while the pain was as close as it could be to numb now- there were times when the past still haunted her.

Like many of countless others, she had but one to blame for the death of her loved ones: Thanos. The Mad Titan had taken her husband, her son's. . . everything she held dear. It had taken everything in her not to slip into insanity so that she could take part in the fight for revenge, but of course, things did not go according to plan and seemed to only take a turn for the worst with the blip. She and Thor had done their best to try and be there for one another at first, but they eventually slipped into their own bouts of depression after settling in New Asgard. After several years of feeling nothing but sorry for herself and spending most of her days crying, Sigyn eventually threw herself into whatever she could find as a distraction.

She went to the support groups and did her best to help in the village, but it was never quite enough. Nothing could ever fully erase what she had seen. There were times when she could still hear the cracking of her husband's bones when the Titan snapped his neck the screams of her children as they were ripped from her arms, the pleas of people she could not save to heal them. It had been all too much to bear during those five years, and there was many a time in which she planned to take her own life- but never quite got the courage to go through with it as she knew that there were those out there who still needed her.

The only thing that gave her hope was the Ant-Man's plan, one she was still surprised worked in the end despite their losses. It was shortly after that battle that something happened to her that she would have never expected to happen in her wildest dreams. She met someone who somehow managed to help her move on.

It had been shortly after Thor's departure to explore space that she had been invited to study at the Sanctum Sanctorm in New York, and as she had no other ties. . . she took it. It was there that she met one Stephen Strange. While their relationship started out slow. . . He eventually managed to turn her broken world into something whole again.

While she had loved him till his dying breath, Loki had left her scarred in a way she'd never thought would heal. There had been very little left between them when they departed their dying realm and losing him in the way she did, and knowing that this time was permanent, left her utterly lost. If not for Stephen, she did not think she would have ever found her way.

Now, she found herself walking down the streets of New York, two coffees in her hands as a little treat for herself and her lover. However, as she approaches the door to her new home 177A Bleecker Street, she finds herself shell-shocked and the cups are quick to fumble from her grasp. She knew that face anywhere.

"No, no no no no. . . You... You are supposed to be DEAD!"

[epic-arc]

Jaune Arc Limbo.. (Tw: Gore/Suicide try)

Jaune would have fallen in the ever after and in his fall his body had split into two personas one being the personification of the rusted knight and the other would be his normal face having to face his traumas...

???: Jaune jaune wake up we're going to miss class!

Jaune: Nora..?

Jaune would open her eyes and look to her right and see daughter-in-law but she would have a dead appearance her orange in her hair would be gone getting weak and her eyes would be empty and she would have scars from lightning and right after she would pick up jaune and take him running to beacon's classroom and he would see all his friends there and he would have an expression of fear and guilt seeing the state of each one. Ren would have something purple oozing from his mouth that looked like it was poison. Ruby would be without her eyes and with an arrow mark in the middle of her chest. Weiss would have a large hole in his abdomen. Blake would be missing one of hers ears. Yang was missing one of her legs and was doing and had burns on the body. Jaune seeing his friends in that state would make him having a panic attack he couldn't move right he was just scared and wanted to run away but he couldn't until he looked and he had chains on his arms and legs and in the middle of the room there was pyrrha and penny with a fake smile and jaune seeing that just started crying and he felt a grimm and human hand touch his shoulder.

Cinder: You were very useful jaune being the distraction for your friends for me to arrive and finalize them you are a good boy.

Jaune would try to speak and would have his mouth covered by a black tape he would only see cinder climb on the counter and aim an arrow at pyrrha's breastplate and shoot her causing her to fall dead on the ground which would make him scream but it was muffled and he would close his eyes but when he opened it he was on the platforms again and he would look to the side and there was the dead body of penny and jaune just got closer and just started crying.

Jaune: I-I can't do anything I just cause the death of those I love I'm sorry guys…

Jaune would take croceas mors and aim and close his eyes and go to stick it in his belly but stop after hearing some voices and he would look up and it was team rwby I reached out to him and he would stand and catch being pulled from that spot and he would just pull everyone into a hug and they would notice the cold whites in his hair and his body would be shaking so they would just come over and hug him.

( @pilot-boi HAPPY END)

[archer0finfamy]

"While it is often said that only God can judge your sins, it is important to remember that He has sent the archer to hold you accountable for them."

Luis embodies the essence of WWE Superstar Damian Priest, living a rockstar lifestyle that balances relentless dedication with exhilarating fun. He works tirelessly, plays even harder, and embraces a life that leaves a lasting legacy. Known as the Castigador Caribeño, he is a force to be reckoned with in and out of the ring.

When Luis isn't performing as Damian Priest in the ring, he tends to be more low-key and likes to bake in the kitchen.

Every now and then, he battles with depression, but what lifts him out of that dark place is the love from millions of fans, his family, and the chance to chase his wild dream. Without professional wrestling, Luis feels like he wouldn't have a purpose.

Besides baking and hitting the gym, Luis enjoys relaxing at the beach, a passion rooted in his veins thanks to his Puerto Rican upbringing.

As always connections can be discussed via DMs!

CONNECTIONS

@brokensbyshadows - Natalie and Luis became very close when he began to help train her and improve her in ring ability. So much so that the two of them became a couple. While he knows he's older than her, it doesn't matter to him because the heart wants what it wants. He's happy and proud to call Nat his girlfriend.

@etchedinpain - Luis and Demi share an unbreakable bond, earning them the nickname The Terror Twins. Luis holds Demi in high regard and feels fortunate to have her by his side as a friend.

@demonbalcr - Luis and Fergal share a deep friendship. Despite their recent conflict in the ring, Luis still regards Fergal as a brother. 

@latinodaddydom - Luis and Dom share a strong friendship, with Luis viewing Dom as a younger sibling. Despite their on-screen disagreements, their bond remains intact in real life. Luis is dedicated to guiding Dom, believing in his potential to become a superstar.

@livtour - Gionna and Luis may not be close on screen but behind the scenes he sees her as a younger sister. Someone who can definitely be a huge Superstar in the world of WWE.

[alchemic-elric]

Invasive Asks || Accepting

△ what is your biggest regret? If given the option, to go back and change it, would you? What would you do instead?

"You mean beyond the obvious? Al'll always b' it. Was I a good enough brother ta 'im. Did I do enough? Was I strong enough fer'im? Soft enough fer'im? Did I help enough? Give enough? Listen enough? Did I hug'im enough? Hold 'is hand enough? Was I the brother 'e always needed? That kinda shit plays in m'head like a broken record but there's o'her shit too n' it mostly revolves 'round Grams n' Win.

When that Old Lady goes, it's gunna crush m'. It's gunna crush Al n' it's gunna destroy Win ... so I s'pose I mean - will I b' enough fer them then too? When Uncly Yuriy n' Aunt Sarah died I was a fuckin' asshole. I was so caught up in m'own grief I didn't receive Win's in a way that was fuckin' helpful. She lost both'a'em in one go n' nonna us saw it comin'.

N' Grams - I was too young ta git it but she lost her fuckin' kids. I c'n't imagine Mom havin' ta bury onna us 'er both. Mom woulda fell apart n' somehow Grams... didn't. Not in front'a us anyway. I should jus' go home fer dinner a little more, huh? It's jus'a train ride down south n' I don't think Mustang'd git on m'ass fer it. Al likes it when we go home ta visit too.

Fuck I ain't cut out fer this big city life. Bein' out 'ere sucks. A regret? I jus' need ta hug m'family a little more I think. Grams n' Win' included."

[arlathvhenan]

If life has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes you work as hard as you can for a very long time and it just won’t matter. Life will find a way to screw you over by which I mean *people* will screw you over, and most of them will be people you trusted. They’ll discard you the moment it’s no longer convenient to acknowledge your personhood. All the sacrifices you’ve made will amount to nothing. Over and over. Year after year. Until you are nothing. And ever part of you that made you who you are is beaten into dust.

[ssolessurvivor]

idk why but i'm feeling really blue today...

among other things, weirdly enough i've been thinking a lot about babies, but before i met my husband i assumed i wouldn't have children. i am not good with other people's children, they make me uncomfortable, but my hubby wants children with me (and realistically it would only be one given today's economy and children are fucking expensive - one of the reasons among many others i'm still grappling with this).

but on top of all of that, my body is going through a lot of changes given my (still suspected) hypothyroidism and autoimmune response to killing said thyroid. i told my hubby a few weeks ago that idk if i would want to carry, because it takes two years for the female body to get back to normal after having a baby, but it's been five months of hormone treatment for my thyroid and i'm scared that i'd get that under control and pregnancy would just wipe me right out again cause 'not normal hormone levels ever again', and while i'm turning 30 this year, he's 35, i feel that pressure, you know? to want to be a mom but that is just another societal norm that i shouldn't feel said pressure to uphold because all of that responsibility, lack of sleep, loss of self, hobby time, job time, isolation from people my age cause caring for a baby, is terrifying for me.

idk, i'm just feeling blue and i know it's my thyroid to blame entirely and maybe that this month is my period month according to my pills, and now i feel like crying i knew i shouldn't have written this all out.

i gotta take the hubby shopping to get new clothes for his promotion at work, then maybe i'll get me something to help me feel better or just come home and...idk really. idk a lot of things anymore of what i want.

[deathxcko]

hi friends!! below the cut i just have a teeny little update, regarding my mental health, in more detail, but.

tl;dr - basically, i'll be gone for at least the rest of the week, and not responding to anyone even in my rp servers/dms on discord until i'm in a better place mentally. if you have my real life number you're welcome to text me, and if you have my discord you're welcome to message me (i probably will not reply until back!! apologies).

little update: my mental health has been in the trash, and despite my therapist insisting upon 3 appointments in one week to make sure i'm physically alright... i think it would be best if i just take a little break here!!

i'm gonna work on replies in my free time and just draft them out for whenever I return, but. you know. depression is a beast and the last thing i want to do is bum out my friends because i'm crying, in bed, and unable to take care of myself LOL.

i have a lot of really high emotional needs right now, and with very little support outside of my therapist, so we out here in the trenches, i think!!! i'll see you all on the other side. please take care of yourselves in the meantime. <3

[mysticjourneys]

Update On Myself

Hello, and I hope you all are having a good day. I know I have been semi-active after my post about quitting. I want to say first that I appreciate all those who gave feedback and reached out. Although some words had various effects on me, I know you all were coming a place of well intent.

The issues I have been going through when it came to my joy in life stemmed more than just writing. It was a question if I could even go on with anything. Before I go on, I want to warn that this will be personal and touch on heavy subject material. This is all subjective and might not matter to some of you, which is why I am putting the details in a readmore.

This is to give you a better understanding of where I am coming from.

TLDR: I am getting better and will make a strong return. It will be slow, though. Working on self-love.

As far back as middle school, I had grown a hatred towards myself. I have made mistakes in my life that had jeopardized my life or my relationships with friends or family. Even though some things are not my fault, I blamed myself for letting things happen or not fixing them. In middle school, it was regrets in losing friends or not doing more. Eventually, it made me form a wall around myself to not get hurt.

In high school, I did make friends, some of whom I still hang to this day. But, I still felt an immense amount of anger. Yes, I only fought when my friends were in trouble, but I still felt like I had a lot of pent-up anger.

When college came, I learned that not everyone would like your ideas. And having dreams to create and express myself, only for no one to notice or care, it made me wonder if something was wrong with me.

Then I fell in love, but it was long distance. I eventually dropped any goals I set for myself to work on getting a house for my now wife and I to live in. I thought the Navy was the quickest option, but it was not. It took away a lot more than it gave, and it was a major regret.

I kept regretting and regretting my choices. My intentions were noble, right? What am I doing wrong? I wasted time in college, I wasted time in Navy, if it's not perfect then what was the point? I am giving it my all but I can't seem to be happy with what I make.

So many times I wanted this feeling to end. I didn't want to be myself anymore.

Being creative, writing, or doing a project allowed me to be someone else. I could be Deku, I could be Chai, I could be anyone. I wanted to be anyone but myself. Even my original characters are people who I wish I was.

Aeon, confident and kind. Maria, smart and gifted. Joanna, brave and strong.

But I didn't see any value for Aiden Copass. Even if I was the creative mind behind it all, if I failed at anything, I failed the image I wanted to be. The dream I wanted to be real.

That's why things were less fun. I never forgave myself for mistakes or perceive that I had qualities. I am in my late twenties now, and I still feel stuck. I thought I could do anything, have my child like wander, by being an adult turns a colorful world in a world with terrifying shades of gray.

I have been seeking therapy, and I have had talks with others to get a perspective on things. Why I am dissatisfied with what I do. I haven't been practicing self-love, I have been harsh on myself because I can't seem to settle for anything less.

If I can't enjoy what I do, how could anyone else?

This eventually made me more prone to violence, wanting to hurt people. But, it wasn't because I didn't want them to look down on me, I wanted to prove myself. I wanted something in life that could reach the ideal life I wanted. When I didn't, I just lashed out.

I didn't enjoy the struggle because I felt I struggled enough. "When is it enough?!" "When will I get my chance?!" "Why isn't it enough?!"

I kept falling in this endless cycle of hatred and crying. Unable to sleep, unable to function, unable to care for myself. And that just made me hate myself even more.

It wasn't until a friend of mine said these words to me that I began to see what I was doing to myself.

"You can't love anyone or anything without loving yourself first. Because all you'll do is reflect the insecurity you have in yourself towards those things."

So, I started to reflect and take my time. To heal and be better. I still want to work on achieving my goals, but I am going to try and approach it with a different mindset.

It won't be instant, and I might fall back again. But, I will get back up and keep trying. No matter how beaten down I am. I only ask that you all be patient with me.... You have no idea how much you all mean to me. This community has been a huge chunk of my life. I made friends, family, and loved ones here....

I love you all.