#‘yeah u seem like a narcissist’ and like I am but u don’t have to say it /j

[daydadahlias]

do you ever reread your fics like months after you posted them and fangirl over your own writing bc idk it seems like something you would do and if you don’t then you really should

no one will ever be a bigger fan of my writing than me

[stuckinapril]

I have kind of a question or need for advice? I don’t mind if followers want to respond either. This is a bit convoluted and like word vomit, but anyway:

So one of my main points of insecurity is that I’ve never had anyone ask me out or take an interest in me before. I’m 24 and never kissed anyone either. All of my sisters are much better looking (my sister was literally accepted into a modeling agency) and have boyfriends, or have had experiences. All are younger. All are on their own or living separate. I still live with my mother. She had a surprise baby when I was 21 and has been a single mom for most of my life. I get paid to watch him and love him a lot. That being said I am also in therapy for a PTSD diagnosis, related to difficult childhood issues, and had a difficult experience last year that put a stop to trying to seek independence. I’ve started another online program, but have routinely failed exams and can’t seem to get through assignments without cheating, and am going to likely fail out of one of these programs. I feel incompetent, like I’m wasting my life and completely directionless and a bit of a loser. I live in my head a lot, and probably have some maladaptive tendencies, it just feels like I can’t function, that I’m not as good as other people, then I also feeling like I’m narcissistic and can’t see things as clear as others.

I don’t know what question I have for you, but if you have any advice or thoughts even if it’s difficult I’d be happy to hear it. I just feel very lost and am alarmed at almost the nonchalance acknowledgement of these feelings.

first of all: take a deep breath & acknowledge you’re human. it sounds to me like you’ve been through some shit in the past, & that has taken your story in a direction you didn’t expect/don’t seem to be satisfied with. that is entirely ok. it also sucks to have younger sisters society would deem as more successful. i could preach how comparison is the thief of joy, but i understand why that’s really fucking hard in your position. i completely & totally get it.

ik women are led to believe they’re like. ancient by 30. but you’re only 24. just let that sink in. 24 is seriously not that long at all. it’s not a big deal you didn’t have a romantic experience by this age; more women than you would probably guess are in the same position. hell, some women literally strive for celibacy. this is not unheard of. & if you truly wanted to, an experience wouldn’t be hard to come by. dating apps have made it, now more than ever, extremely accessible to get male attention.

i’m not telling you this from an angle of “yeah it’s not as hard as u think, go make an account lol” but more so just pointing out that it’s not out of reach, to alleviate your urgency about that (if you feel any). bc you seriously could get that experience whenever you want. but it doesn’t mean you should. & while that decision will always be yours to make, my take (at the threat of sounding presumptuous) is that you shouldn’t right now. not if you want a relationship less for the companionship & more for the external validation. not if you’d use a relationship as a means to run away from yourself. a relationship should add to your happiness, but it should never be the source of your happiness. i would never tell anyone to be perfect before entering a relationship; but they should at least be in a stable-enough mental state not to fall prey to codependency. codependency will fuck you up even more. it’s better to just sort your shit out now & go from there.

it also doesn’t say anything that no man has approached you. like literally nothing about your worth at all. some women know how to present themselves as approachable, while others are more closed off & that wards off interest. it’s usually really tied less to who you as a person & more to whether you present yourself as on the market haha.

i personally don’t think living w a parent is indicative of anything tbh… like someone could live w their parent & still be entirely independent. it’s totally contextual. it seems to me like you & your mom established a symbiotic relationship, which is good. this doesn’t mean total independence isn’t off the table for you. it just seems like what you have rn is working, and that’s no crime.

you’re not a loser. at all. whatsoever. you’ve just been dealt different cards—from your sisters, from your friends, from anyone you could possibly be comparing yourself to right now. if you truly didn’t care, you wouldn’t be thinking about it with the meticulousness i can clearly sense in this ask. acknowledge that. thank yourself for seeming self aware of any potential issues you have, & your willingness to work on them. you’re literally going to therapy. that is so big. many people don’t have it in them to take that step. with time & patience for yourself, you will build the life you want for you. just keep your wants in sight, keep facing issues in therapy, keep trying to do better bit by bit. stop w the self flagellation. replace comparison w gratitude for what you currently have, and acknowledgement of what you’re capable of/what you could be falling short of. don’t settle, but don’t beat yourself up for not being where you’d like to be yet. change can’t happen in a day. as long as you keep trying, that’s literally all that matters, cliche as that may sound.

self-compassion is not laziness—it’s simply acknowledging you’re human, while also striving to improve.

nothing is out of reach. you just need to be more compassionate to yourself, & keep in mind that healing is a process that cannot be rushed. but it’s so worth it. you’re so young. it’s never too late to live the life you truly want

[moriartyluver]

🦢 anon is back with the song analysis again

ok but teen fl + teen idle by marina is soo real

“I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned”- her feeling like liam is more privileged than her and feeling slightly jealous of him because she saw him as a white b who got everything handed to him

“I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean”- revenge revenge revenge

“I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away”- her being an introvert as a teen and only ever studying and maybe occasionally socialising

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake”- her putting on a facade

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal”- the third line here is kinda like her being 16 and committing crimes ig?? Also fl low-key wants to unalive herself but knowing her she probably won’t try because of all her responsibilities

“The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth”- I know we didn’t get an exact thing abt fls relationship with Theo the pedo but I’d say it’s implied they probably did the deed. Like how when they were dancing in the Ashfordshire arc, liam said something abt fl having multiple partners in other aspects, also in the past chapter u mentioned that fl would visit Theo at night. I think she’d lie to herself and act as if she was just seducing him but really she was probably getting abused by him

“And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive”- fl having her grand duchess glow up post timeskip 👏 👏

“I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity”- fls issues with intimacy with Liam because of Theo. She probably never enjoyed the devils tango until liam came around because she was so used to using it for her ulterior motives 😕😕 also she always is getting fetishised and flirted with by the other noblemen to the point she felt she had to marry a guy she considered her biggest rival just to shake them off only for them to keep going and not understand how uncomfy she was

“I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway”- in the Noahtic arc, fl got drunk a bit and was probably using it as escapism for her issue of an heir. Also fls implied Ed ^^

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone” - fl has slight self esteem issues imo so this lyric makes sense especially because she seemed to be a little meaner as a teen and rightfully so bc her brother literally died because of the British ofc she won’t like any of them. In like the second chapter fl made a comment abt dying alone and I thought that fits

“Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”- fl was suffering since she was like 9 and I don’t think anyone reached out to her tbh if she was really killing whole families at 16. She was probably hella merciless and numb poor girl. She also probably lost her innocence because of Theo and other weird noble guys

also she fits seventeen by marina too. If she was an mtp character she’d probably get angst edits to that one bit “I was brought up as a baby well you don’t know fuck about my family could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen the rise of the king and the fall of a queen”

fl is just sooo Marina coded idc

ALSO I AM BEGGING YOU TO GET SOME REST GIRLIE. u usually update like every day. We don’t need u losing sleep over false lovers I promise. Get ur beauty sleep 🙏

Stop this is literally a whole essay 😭 u are right abt most of it tho

Theo is literally such an asshole I’m glad fl killed him and tortured him

Bro was 20 and courting a 16 year old but wasn’t even following proper etiquette rules

Fl finds it so difficult to be affectionate with Liam all because of that stupid mf.

Grand duchess fl 🛐

Fls parents tried to reach out to help her with her grief when she was a kid but they were both suffering themselves and they were trying to find out who was responsible for fls brothers death while also suffering responsibilities as the grand duke and duchess. They tried but fl shut everyone out because she only wanted revenge

Fl also has really terrible self esteem issues but she doesn’t let it show at all. From her perspective William was just an asshole and she felt like it was unfair everyone treated him better than her. Paris and rory esque relationship tbh

Tbh fl would get edited with like every Marina song she’s just that Marina coded

Also I’m currently on holiday so I’m trying my best to get some rest after my exams. I’ll try to be constant with updates but tbh I don’t think I’ll update until I’m back home because my internet keeps getting fucked up lol

[gdcee]

bro lemme just say i am liVING for ur loki criticizm i am being fED because im thinking along the same exact wavelines but im in no way invested in marvel enough to make a post,, thank u for ur service and im sorry abt all the hate ur getting that show Deserves to be criticized

thank you, you're so kind ;w;

I went into the show with mildly positive feelings. I was hoping for Doctor Who type shenanigans, maybe some flashbacks to Loki's childhood and what he was up to between Thor 1 and Avengers. I genuinely liked most of the first episode (didn't like the bit with the Mongolians hahaha they don't speak english isn't that funny 😡).

I went in thinking this was going to be about Loki's growth from villain to sort of good guy with timey wimey stuff. And yeah, I suppose I kind of got that. Loki isn't the bad guy anymore, just a weirdo narcissist, apparently. Also he's kind of dumb and inept. I'm not even sure if I should complain about how the focus didn't seem to be on Loki from Episode 3 onwards and how he was being dragged along from plot point to plot point rather than actively moving it along. Cause would I actually have been happy to see more of the Loki that was shown to me? Idk I'm not even sure if he feels like the Loki I recall from the movies. He feels more like Daffy Duck to me.

I don't even really consider myself that big of a Loki fan. Yeah, I like the guy, he's probably one of the best parts of the Thor movies. I admit he is quite nice to look at, but possibility of me developing a perverse sexual lust for the man is dashed by my own grey-ace nature and Mr. Hiddleston's really big forehead.

It's not a lot of hate thankfully. At least for now, I have no idea what will happen if I continue to post my criticism of the show.

To the people who did like the show, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I didn't, and it's not a OH I DON'T LIKE IT JUST BECAUSE thing but you know what

I contain multitudes. I can dislike the show just BECAUSE and also for

the inconsistencies in the logic of how variants come about (is it different instances of the same person or are people like actors playing roles so variants aren't the same person, like completely different not just different circumstances but actually different right down to their metaphysical properties)

the implication that the TVA is necessary because they're doing an important job preventing a Class X-5 Apocalypse

the presentation of emotional, physical and psychological...well torture, really - as being the catalyst for Loki's growth

the waffling about on Sylvie's identity. Is she a Loki or isn't she? I called her Schrödinger's Loki in one of my earlier posts, I find that an apt appellation.

the rather offensive way they treated gender fluidity. Omg a female presenting version of us lol that's so SCARY so weird

Really, I could go on. Plenty of people have expanded on the same issues and more. I am not bitching for nothing, there are reasons why I and quite a number of other people did not like the show, we are not complaining just to be hateful or contrary.

[miami2k17]

Yeah I agree with you. Like even if you are not into gcest it’s hard not to notice that Noel wrote not a few but a lot of post break up sad songsin the last 10 or so years. They can’t be about his current wife, they are together. He didn’t write songs like these after break up with Louise or Meg so I don’t think it’s about them or any of his ex girlfriends. Unless he had a secret gf/bf it leaves only 1 logical suggestion

yeah i think most of his first two albums were about liam, some of which was left over from oasis i think which is why it's written in a more positive light lol. but even when you look at songs like dying of the light or you know we can't go back that are looking back on it in a sad or even hopeful-for-the-future way, these newer songs are different. they're, at least to me, clearly drawing some kind of line to say that he's over it and he's thriving where he's at without liam/oasis.

sail on, flying on the ground, if love is the law, a dream is all i need to get by, keep on reaching, be careful what you wish for. most of wbtm basically LOL. these all range from being about simply letting it go, acknowledging it was love once but now he's done and moving on to greener pastures, to super scathing and a little mean. i think he is either finally over it and starting to move on completely and he's in his Final Fuck You era, or he's just putting on a front and pretending like he's over it and trying to be mean on purpose. which he does love to b doing wbk.

sail on is a song i think he wrote first and foremost for himself, i think he's writing about his experience of leaving something that he really loved once, doing his own thing, and having the freedom that came with it. he's mentioned that a big part of being solo that he values is just the artistic/musical freedom, and THIS,

to me seems like he's referencing what it was like for him at the end of oasis when he just wasn't happy anymore, he wanted that freedom, and eventually he just had to leave, it was just time for him and liam to seperate because it wasn't working anymore. so when he eventually got fed up enough and worked up the courage to leave, he did. this is also echoed in the chorus,

at that point oasis and their fans were his whole world. he had never been a musician outside of that before. his main point of recognition for the whole world was him in oasis, but he still had to leave because he just didn't belong there anymore.

if u would like to read more lyrical analysis bullshit abt those post breakup songs theres more under the cut because i have a lot to say after only having my cat to talk to about it all these years

and as for why i think that the more nasty n mean songs like be careful what you wish for or keep on reaching could possibly not be genuine, there's a few reasons. 1. he's been beefing with liam a lot more publicly in recent years, since these songs started coming out, and liam has said and done (whether you believe it was warranted or not) some atrocious shit to noel and his family and i think this may just be noel's way of getting back at liam for it, or at least his anger coming out in his writing and 2. he's still writing nostalgic pining lyrics like dead in the water, although he hasn't done anything like that in a while.

also you do sometimes get the vibe that he's genuinely hurt by everything, especially what liam has done recently by just completely burning those bridges by being a complete lunatic, in songs like a dream is all i need to get by, which does give me angry vibes but also

like this literally just sounds like he's asking why liam threw that love away and what we had together all those years ago, because as he's said in interviews he will never forgive liam for what he's done and whatever was there is gone. i mean he did it first technically but he's a known narcissistic insane person so i am not surprised he blames liam for all these years later finally exploding and acting out really badly in a serious way after years of being taunted by noel and his wife. "i hope that you can walk it like you talk it son" clearly just him saying i hope you meant what you said cause i'll kick your ass, it reminds me of that interview where he says when he sees liam, he'll make him realize it's not just banter LOL. and then again, the dream is over, whatever they had or possibly could have had is gone 😔

so. yknow. who really knows. maybe he is really moving past it finally and we won't get any more indirects about liam from his music. which would make me very sad because i love picking their music apart, it's been my most entertaining hobby since i was in middle school 😭 but! things are so bad right now for them it's for the best. it isn't gonna get better, ever, and they likely will never speak again. i truly believe that. dragging it out forever isn't good for either of them and it certainly isn't good for the people around them.

but anyways i'm rambling all this is to say i think sail on is about liam/oasis because it's part of this ....idk. new ...wave of songs he's writing about finally moving on. maybe he means it, maybe he's so fed up with liam these past few years that he's faking it until he makes it, i don't know. but it is probably the healthiest choice to let it go LOL

[quietmyfearswith]

narcissist {carter baizen x fem!reader} 3/3

status — completed series

warnings — none??? attempt at fluff

word count (without the lyrics) — 994 words

a/n — so this is for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge and my prompt was alcohol is the only constant in my life; in this final chapter tho there’s ashift in the propmt so yeah. this is based on narcissist by no rome ,, listen to the song here if u want ,if you guys have feedback or jus wanna talk, drop me an ask/message. take care :>

masterlist | series masterlist

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

And I've been seeing somebody

But I've not found a way to tell you

That I'm seeing somebody

There's not a nice way for me to say that

I've been seeing somebody

You know I want you to be happy

Since I'm seeing somebody

And then maybe we can get on with it

Being suspended from her work was a lot nicer than what Y/N thought; she didn’t have to wake up 2 hours prior to the office hours so that she could go to her boss’ place and help him get ready for the day. Thinking about it now, she realized how synonymous it was to taking care of a child.

After waking up and drinking a bit of her fruit shake, she dressed up and decided to go for a run while the clouds didn’t litter the sky and instead it was glowing with sunlight. After spending an hour jogging around the nearby park, she was now making her way back to her apartment building.

Once she was near the entrance, she was surprised upon spotting a vintage car that looked all too familiar to her. And as if on cue, her boss came out of the vehicle and smiled at her. Removing one of her earbuds, she inquired the reason for his presence, “Last time I checked the office wasn't anywhere near here.”

Amused with her greeting, Carter chuckled, “Is that how you should be talking to your boss, Ms. Y/N?” Putting a hand on her hip she looked at him pointedly, “I’m suspended, so technically speaking you really aren’t my boss. And my point still stands, you have no business being here.”

Looking down at his hands nervously, Carter looked up at her with sincerity in his eyes, “I just wanted to talk to you, okay?” Having an internal debate with herself, she was looking up at the man who was leaning up against his car as if she was trying to analyze the reason as to why her boss was here. Though she did take note of how more relaxed he seemed, and if that’s the effect of her absence then she would seriously consider leaving her job.

“Don’t need to talk to you, not until for a week at least,” she turned away from him but was suddenly pulled when he grabbed her hand and held it firmly. Looking down on their joint hands, she gave him a pointed look, “What the hell?”

“Please, just for a little while,” Carter bargained to her, hoping to get her to agree, “I’ll buy breakfast, don’t you like the cafe down there?” At the mention of the restaurant, Y/N did see the appeal of having a free and delicious breakfast. “Fine,” she found herself agreeing.

As they placed their orders and sat down there was an uncomfortable silence that was lingering in the atmosphere; Carter initiated a conversation by saying, “What have you been doing this past week?”

Shrugging as she took a sip of her beverage, “Go for runs, binge on shows, meet up with friends; things I wish I could do more often but couldn’t really with how busy I usually am.” Without even processing what she said, she internally yelled at herself since it seemed like he was pinning the blame on her boss how she failed to do any of those activities on a regular basis.

Upon looking at his facial features though, she took note of how he didn’t look angry or offended. Instead an understanding look was what he had, and she was surprised with how calm he has been ever since they started to  speak. “What about you — how are things in the office?”

It was Carter’s turn to shrug, because since her departure he noticed how despite the progress at work he took note of how slow it took. He quickly solved the puzzle and attributed the company’s smooth and quick operations to his assistant.

“Work’s been getting done, as it should,” he started but it wasn’t something he wanted to talk with her about, “But I think you’ll be glad to know that I’ve been seeing someone.”

(Got me like)

(Got me like)

Seeing somebody

(You got me like)

345, that's where we stayed

She told me I'm a narcissist doing it again

Took a bunch of acid and she told me, "not again"

Now I've gotta tell her that I'm lovin' her friends

There was a silence after what Carter had just shared, the waiter came and placed down their orders and Y/N decided not to ask any follow up questions with other ears lingering. After taking a small bite of her meal, she replied on what he had just said, “I honestly don’t know why you’re telling me this, Carter,” the man furrowed his eyebrows but before answering her, she was already explaining further, “You never tell me whoever it was you’re dating. Though, granted, most of the time I just meet them when I have to wake you up.”

Her chuckles were the only sound emitted from both of them, her boss’ silence was something that deeply confused her. Stopping her chuckle, it gave him the cue to explain, “I didn’t mean that I was dating someone,” his seriousness at the matter was something she reciprocated as she listened to what he had to say, “I meant that ever since you booked me with the therapist before I suspended you, I’ve been regularly seeing her.”

This shocked Y/N as she didn’t expect him to seek further help from the therapist — I mean her setting him up an appointment was the reason why he prohibited her from for a little while right? But she let him ramble more, “We’ve only had two sessions so far, and another one later in the week, but as much I dread to admit it, therapy really has helped. And I haven’t drank any alcohol or did drugs since.” 

A warm smile coupled with a proud expression graced her face as one of her hands grabbed his and gently caressed the back of his palm, “I’m glad to hear that, Carter, and I’m really proud of you.”

Lifting her hand to his lips, he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles and pressed her palm to his cheek as he spoke sincerely, “Thank you for not giving up on me; I wouldn’t be here without you. I don’t want to continue on without you.”

Nodding her head she reassured him, “You won’t have to go through it alone, Carter. You’ll always have me.”

[the-musical-cc]

Iiiii may or may not have some ideas regarding Buzz’s background in BLOSC that I’m trying to write down but since my writing juice is running low I figured I’d sketch around a bit and see if that helped- it has. Except it’s 2 am, lol, so I hope it holds out ‘till tomorrow when I can take my sweet time typing it down but IN THE MEANTIME:

OK so you know how Toy Story 2 established Zurg is Buzz’s dad? Yeah. 

I also know a lot of people think Zurg is some sort of purple robot alien but- let’s be real. He’s a parody of Darth Vader. The fact that his design is consistent with a guy similar in build and face to Buzz wearing a disguise just makes this more likely to me.

He has a bit of a complicated backstory but I swear there is a reason his childhood name is ‘Agent Z’ as established in the pilot/film- I know it’s a joke but I work with what I’ve got. Adapt. Overcome.- and why even later on he doesn’t have a surname. He’s always been uhhh... eccentric but he doesn’t become Darth Vader but extra tuned up to 1000% until later on.

Then we have actual ray of sunshine Sol Lightyear. She’s part of the beta version of Star Command (Cosmos Crusaders) where she meets Zee. Since the Crusaders are pretty much a glorified bike gang she doesn’t really have a place of her own except her ship, but her family lives in one of the human colonies near Capital Planet.

OK, OK, so you know that thing Zurg does in the pilot/film where he boops Buzz’s nose? I don’t know why my brain decided he did that because he actually used to do that to Sol all the time when they were together. I made myself sad. I seem to do that a lot.

Sol really loved that tech-savy weirdo. She saw all his good sides (He was very good at hiding his bad sides back then) like how inventive he was, how determined and hard-working he could be. He loved her too... as much as a narcissistic prick can love. Never does quite get over her.

Ssssso after a lot of tribulation, little Buzz came around. Not gonna disclose much about that right now but suffice to say Zee is out of the picture before he’s born and he’s the light of Sol’s life. Her beautiful blue-eyed baby.

[musashi]

okay so cast of characters for sure. like fantasy novel list of who's who . .. also I am at work so no rush !

FUCK YEAH

ANGELS OF SKYWARD SWORD:

LINK: sleeby boy who likes to fly around and daydream and take naps and is regarded by others as kind of a quiet ditz. weird shit happens to this guy tho. prophetic nightmares. previously thought extinct animals befriending him. skill in things that should not come as naturally to him as it does. doesn’t really do words, talks with his actions. v expressive and open-hearted. wears his heart on his sleeve. loves his bestie n would both die and kill for her.

ZELDA: bestie. manic pixie dream girl (affectionate). school principal’s cute daughter. bossy, outgoing, and outspoken, but soft at heart and a hopeless romantic. protective and strong, in love with legends of old and dreaming about a world below the clouds. mom friend cranked up to 11. don’t fuck with her. “EXCUSE ME Link said he wanted NO PICKLES”

GROOSE: gaston from beauty and the beast but he gets better instead of worse. is so convinced he’s the main character that he brute forces himself into a supporting character position. has a breakdown and decides instead of therapy he’s going to make shit explode. absolute narcissist with a heart of gold who loves birds and trees and nature and is bros with a 1000+ year old lady who gives him pep talks. meme god

FI: what if god put alexa on a sword? is a question absolutely no one was asking but i’m really glad nintendo answered anyways. fi’s a little metal sprite girl with the knowledge of literally the entire world thus far held inside her supercomputer brain. she lives inside link’s sword and helps him navigate places so he doesn’t get lost or die from curiously trying to eat lava. she’s all numbers and data and speaks in probabilities and hypotheses and she can seem a little icy but there’s definitely something kinda playful bubbling under the surface of her. her robotic demeanor is contradicted entirely by her tendencies to sing and dance as she espouses ancient messages. calculating, precise, and with a loyalty that transcends all. she’s the best character in the whole zelda franchise, which is a fact, and not me having comfort character brainrot.

GHIRAHIM: america’s next top homophobic stereotype. sexy demon man likes to shove his tongue in ur ear. oddly gentlemanly for how unhinged he is. like is 100% the bad guy but mostly just seems like he views u as kind of an annoying mosquito every time y’all fight. constantly making the choice not to kill you because he thinks its rude and then regretting it later. flambouyant, narcissistic, ruthless when he chooses to be. a dude loves to monologue. i don’t like him but he’s the darling of the fandom so he must be doing something right.

IMPA: lesbian best friend who hugs you while you’re crying and makes eye contact with your shitty man over your shoulder in an attempt to strike fear into his heart. we don’t know nearly enough about her in this game because they’re cowards. badass ninja warrior lady who is the only reason zelda doesn’t legit die several hours into the game. fierce, dedicated, loyal, steady, and wise. a soothing presence who keeps everyone on track and makes sure they’re safe and forward-facing. we love impa.

there’s MANY others but those are the main darlings. we love them

[jungcity]

from saint. | love, eternal.

7:08 AM. 20** 

What should I call you? But hi, diary. I am Saint. Saint Jung. Son of Jung Jaehyun and Y/N Jung. Today, I am seven years old. I asked Daddy Taeyong to buy me a really, really, really old diary. I don’t know where he found you, but I am glad to write on you. 

Mom is busy, so is Dad. They said seventh birthday is important and must be grandiose (I hope I spelled that right). But to be honest, I want it to be as simple as possible. Since I am not really comfortable with parties. Dad insists I should wear suit (it’s itchy), but Mom only laughed at him and told me I should wear something casual.

Mom has been cooking all night long for my birthday. Dad said we could order food in a restaurant, or we could contact a famous chef from Seoul to cook my birthday dishes. I don’t know if this is my birthday or my parents’. I hope that doesn’t sound disrespectful. 

Yesterday, my zipper’s bag snapped open because of its content. Gladly, I am already inside the limo when it happened. My classmates had thrown me an advanced birthday party at school. Judy, Heidi, Gale, and Anika gave me tons of chocolates. I hope I could eat it all but I have to share some for my family. Mom wouldn’t be pleased if I ever get toothache. 

That’s it for today, diary. 

P.S.: I heard Mom and Dad talking about my angel blood last night. I didn’t understand one bit of their conversation. But I hope I will, someday. 

—

8:26 PM, 20** 

Hi, diary. This is Saint Jung once again. We have written letters for our moms today. Miss Rona was pleased to read mine. She said the letter does not look like it came from a seven year old. Oh, I know, you’d like to read one of the excerpts of my letter right? 

Well, here it is: Mom, thank you for shining like a star in our lives. You are the light in the darkness. I love you. And Dad. 

That’s it. Was it too cheesy? I have to give the letter to Mom. I hope she does not cringe. 

—

3:11 PM, 20** 

This is Saint Jung. I already gave the letters to my Mom. She cried. So hard. I was afraid Dad would scold me when he returned from work. But he only sat with me on the veranda.

It’s odd. Because I was wearing my pajamas and Dad was wearing his suit. Someday, I’d like to be just like him.

He wasn’t mad. In fact, he was glad. And we’ve exchanged stories until I fell asleep. 

“Mom cried,” Saint said, lips quivering. Jaehyun’s heart thudded because of his son’s face. He couldn’t believe this bundle of happiness is his own flesh and blood. 

“Because she was so happy to read your letter,” He patted Saint on his head. 

“Really?” the little boy asked, wiping his eyes off tears. Whenever he looked at his son, it was always like seeing the little version of him.

“Come here, bud.” He smiled. Saint sniffed before sitting on his lap, still wiping his eyes. 

“Did I hurt Mom?” 

Jaehyun let out a chuckle, “Of course, not. You made her so happy today. I am so proud of you, Saint.” 

Then he kissed the little boy on the cheek. Saint giggled, flashing Jaehyun his two deep dimples. 

“Will you write Daddy a letter, too?” He asked, hugging his son tighter. 

“Of course, Daddy.” 

The both of them held each other under the stars. With his arms draped around Saint, and the little hands of his son hugging his torso. They stayed like that for an hour. Exchanging little stories about Jaehyun’s work and Saint’s school. 

“One day, I hope you’ll be happy as I am, Saint.” No response. Then Jaehyun heard soft snores from the little boy. He chuckled. Then he carried his son to his bed, tucked him in, and kissed his forehead. 

—

 9:14 PM. 20** 

Summer vacation has started. And we are here in Greece. All of us. Including my other daddies and Mama Yuqi, and Mama Chaelin. Mama Yuqi brought Zion with him. 

Zion, he is my cousin. Mama Yuqi and Daddy Lucas’ son. He told me we should go explore Greece on our own. That boy. If I inherited my Dad’s silent demeanor, Zion inherited Daddy Lucas’ extroverted side. No wonder Mama Yuqi’s always on edge with him. 

But of course, I said no to his offer. You might call me a bore. And I might be a bore. I just do not want to worry Mom. Dad would never like that. Mama Yuqi said Dad is the human embodiment of petrifying when he’s angry. 

 — 

 8:56 PM. 20** 

Dad and Mom fought. Over apples. I don’t know if I should laugh, or cry. It’s their first time fighting. And it’s… because of an apple that wasn’t precisely cut. 

I stumbled upon Mom and Dad hissing at the kitchen. 

“You’ve been doing this for so long, chérie.” Dad said, frustration was clear in his voice. 

“Why are you so sensitive today?” Mom asked. 

Dad sighed of frustration, “Because—” 

“Mom? Dad? Are you fighting?” 

It was obvious that they were. But Mom quickly hugged Dad and pretended to wipe his mouth. “You are so like a child when you eat!” She pinched Dad on his cheek, and I know that hurts. 

“We’re not, baby.” Dad said through his dimpled smile. 

I shrugged and walked straight to the refrigerator and grabbed some milk. “Dad, what is ‘fuck’?”

By my words, Mom gasps. Dad choked on his apple.

“Where did you learn that word?” Mom asked, kneeling in front of me. 

“Zion said it’s a magic word,” I told her, cupping the box of milk with my little hands. 

Mom turned to Dad, “Call Lucas.” She said. Then she looked at me, “That’s a bad word, honey.” 

I blinked, “Is it Mom? But Zion said it is a holy word. Because fuck creates babies.” 

“Call. Lucas. Now!” Mom repeated, there was a warning in her voice that made Dad dashed for the telephone. 

After that, Zion didn’t talk to me for weeks. Because according to him, I ‘betrayed’ our friendship. But then came his birthday, and my gift, he could not possibly say no to that. And he ended up forgiving me. 

 —

 1:37 AM, 20** 

Hi, this is Saint Jung. You’re probably wondering why I wrote this in such late time. I am now eighteen. Eighteen means parties, girls, and trouble. I just came back from one of Zion’s party. Uncle Lucas, (it’s odd to call him Daddy) and Mama Yuqi had gone to another country to celebrate their anniversary. Leaving their house to Zion’s hands. 

Zion. Alone. Mansion. What did I expect?

It was a mess. There was trouble. Zion made out with different girls tonight. 

But I didn’t. No. I did. I did make out with one girl from my class. Her name’s Veina. (Mom will prolly scold me for this)

We made out. And I think… this is so odd. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be writing this on here.

But her lips, damn, it was like velvet cake against mine. She smelled like lavender with a mix of strawberry. I could not name her scent exactly. She was unique. 

 — 

 3:42 AM, 20** 

I got into a car accident. Right. The good boy Saint in an accident? A nightmare. 

Mom was angry. Dad was furious. 

I feel like shit when Mom cried at the hospital, I hate seeing her cry. And I hate myself to be the one causing her tears. All of my uncles has paid me a visit, with a lot of scolding and pinching ears. Uncle Doyoung was beyond furious, even furious than Dad. With what happened, he postponed giving me a Ferrari. Right. He promised me that car, months ago. But Saint has been a bad boy. 

Zion was laughing and rolling on the floor when he visited me. The only thing that stopped him was the shout of Mama Yuqi. 

And yes. I’d hate to say this, since I don’t want to sound so self-centered and narcissistic, but yeah, a lot of girls had been on the hospital to visit me. Of course, rudeness isn’t in my vocabulary. And I’d feel an absolute jerk if I didn’t show kindness to the girls. Mom is a girl. A woman. Call me old-school, but I believe that when you hurt a girl, it would be like hurting your own mom. 

After all the commotion, Dad sat beside me. While Mom sleeps on the sofa. He sat beside me and I swear, my breath hitched when I saw tears in his eyes. Dad never cried. Or so I thought. 

“Be careful next time,” was his words, before leaning in to me and kissing my forehead. 

I know. Don’t judge me diary. I know it’s cheesy, and unmanly-like. But that’s my Dad. He’s loved every fiber of my being ever since I was born. 

 — 

 11:23 PM, 20** 

I got into a fight. And we had to move houses because of the trouble I’d been into. Worrying Mom is on the very least of my priority. But I guess I’ve been born to worry her. 

Some dickbag in school called Dad an alien. I have to be honest, Mom looked like she’s near her forties. Yet Dad looked like a twenty-three year old man. It doesn’t make sense to me, either. But hearing my Dad being called an alien has sparked an anger inside me I didn’t know existed. 

So I threw the punch. And I hit him until he’s a bloody mess on the school hallway’s floor. Bad temper, I must admit. 

And now we are here. Far from the city. In the middle of the forest. Near Uncle Doyoung’s mansion. Right.

Yes, Zion laughed at me until his chest hurts that he needed a nebulizer to help him breathe again. 

 — 

 4:09 AM. 20**

This is Saint Jung. Twenty-one at long last. I want you to know, diary, that I am writing this entry with bloodshot eyes and alcohol drowning my lungs.

It’s my first time to drink like this. 

But what would you do if your mother and father told you that you’re half-mortal, half-angel? And that you would live a long life. Without a mother. And that your mother would be reincarnated someday? But the take is that she won’t be able to remember you. 

It’s fucked up. It’s beyond me. 

But now I understand. I understand why I seem to have this divinity inside me. Why I could run faster than Zion even in his wolf form. Damn, I should’ve known that something is up with me too, when Zion admitted that he is half-wolf, half-human to me.

I should’ve asked Dad when I felt my system convulsing with power. Of strength. Of something I did not understand then. 

Dad. Wait, diary, I have to process this one. Give me a minute to breathe.

Dad is Lucifer. Right. The banished angel from heaven. The morningstar. The Prince of hell. He is a f u c k i n g angel. And I am a f u c k i n g nephilim. I would’ve ended up not believing it, if only Dad didn’t show his wings. Fuck. Sorry for the curses Mom. I had to.

I couldn’t process this in one night. But I need to. So Mom would never cry in front of my door again. Begging me to open it. 

 — 

 2:29 AM. 20** 

Mom and I, we’ve talked. She showed me a picture of a girl with black hair and blue eyes and told me she was Aurora. Mom said it was her one hundred years ago.

Why am I only knowing all about this now? I don’t have any idea. But I am glad they deemed me worthy for this mind-boggling information. 

Aurora was Mom’s face one hundred years ago. Aurora’s reincarnation was Mom today. 

Mom said she would die one day. Her face would disappear from this world, but her soul will not. She said, with tears in her eyes, that I should wait for her to be back. I should wait for her be reincarnated again. 

She’s my mother. She’s my everything. She’s the only flower in my garden. And Dad. Of course, I will wait for her even it takes her a thousand years to be back.

It hurts. I know that sounds weak. But it hurts. I am hurt. I don’t want to wake up one day without her. I think I’d rather die than be parted away from her. 

“Saint,” Dad called out from behind my door. I stood up and laid the controller on the bed. 

“A minute?” He asked. I nodded and guided him towards the veranda. It was frightening, to see Dad. He was so like me I always thought I’m looking at the mirror every time I stand face to face with him. He could pass as my doppelgänger. No joke. 

“How are you, Saint?” He looked at the horizon of gleaming lights far away from us. 

I propped my arms on the railings before answering, “Wrecked.” There’s no point in lying. Dad could smell a shit from miles away. 

“I was like that when I knew about your mother’s real identity,” He smiled a bitter one at me. “Pushed her away. Like a douchebag in a cliché novel, said your Mama Chaelin.” Then he shook his head while sighing, “But where did all those pushing led me? Back to her.” 

“That’s romantic, Dad. But forgive me if I am too hurt to comprehend.” I admitted. 

Dad put his arms around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “We have to be strong for your Mom,”

Surprisingly, a hot feeling around my eyes blurred my vision. It took me a while to realized that I was crying. “I can’t lose Mom, Dad. I can’t.” was what I said between sobs.

Dad held me tighter and closer while I sob that night. 

Losing Mom would be my downfall. It is the bane of my existence. I would simply shut down once it happens. 

 — 

 That was Saint’s last entry. He never continued his diary ever again after knowing the truth.

[tearsofthemis]

Tears of Themis : Chapter 2 “Unbearable Love“ Part 4

[Previous Chapter] | [Masterlist] | [Next Part]

▌Location- Stellis University Campus

(I was swamped with work until Saturday and completely forgot about Mo Yi’s invitation. When Sunday came and I woke up without the harsh sounds of my alarm, I suddenly remembered my plans with Mo Yi.)

MC: “I forgot to tell him that I’m coming, I wonder if I’ll be able to bump into Dr. Mo.”

(I took out my phone and started browsing through the art exhibition’s introduction while walking toward Stellis University’s exhibition gallery.)

MC: “The PAX Group is the sponsor for this art exhibit. No wonder there are so many priceless works of art on display. Rembrandt’s ‘Night Watch,’ Cezanne’s ‘The Card Players’...”

(Suddenly, a news notification popped up on my phone and prevented me from reading further. “The next Madam PAX candidate revealed, famous designer Shen Xi and young CEO Lu in a love to death relationship!”)

MC: “Ugh whichever annoying app is sending me such useless gossip news, consider yourself uninstalled.”

(After I deleted the app, another notification popped up. “Famous actor Li Zhou visits a private clinic late at night with a mysterious woman. More to come this Monday!”)

MC: “They already had to visit a clinic, and even then these news outlets won’t give people their privacy… Ah!”

(Darkness filled my vision as I was enveloped by a hot and cold breeze. It was a gentle feeling, yet cold cold to the touch like a fleeting moment in time.)

???: “Xiao jiejie [1], watch where you’re going.”

(After hearing an irritating voice, I rubbed my sore nose and looked up to see a fashionably dressed man standing before me. His furrowed brows had a tinge of youth to them, and underneath the dappled sunlight shining through the trees, his deep indigo hair shone with flecks of navy blue. Was this the source of the cool scent from earlier? It sure doesn't match his fiery temperament, but you know what they say, “the nose knows.”)

???: “Oi, are you stable now? I’m gonna let go.”

MC: “Ah, I’m so sorry…”

(That’s when I realized he had steadied me by holding onto my arms. He must have warned me after noticing that I was wearing heels.)

???: “MC? A lawyer from Themis Law Firm?”

(He picked up my employee ID from off the ground and was looking at it curiously.)

???: “Your made an appearance on the news recently, so I’ve heard of your name.”

(I made it on the news? Ah, he must be talking about the QingPing Restaurant case.)

MC: “Sorry, I'm so sorry, I was looking at my phone and wasn’t paying attention.”

???: “Check your ankles, see if you’re hurt anywhere.”

(I tried putting weight on my ankles; there was nothing unusual.)

MC: “I’m alright. Thanks…”

(He held onto me a while longer, until he was sure I was alright, before pulling back. )

???: “As long as you’re alright. Here’s your ID, I’ll be going then.”

(I took back my work badge and was about to thank him for catching me when I noticed his cheeks were damp with sweat. His t-shirt and dress shirt were slightly wrinkled, and his necklaces were tangled together. Did he… run over here?)

MC: “Just now… it was you who bumped into me!”

(I was walking slower than usual while I was looking at my phone. If the other party wasn’t running over, then the chances of us colliding would have been pretty unlikely!)

???: “Haha, whoops, and here I was thinking that I had fooled you. You caught on quickly.”

MC: “You were in the wrong, and yet you dared to push the blame on me. How incorrigible! Are you a student at Stellis University?”

(He pulled out his student ID and waved it around up high as if he was trying to provoke me.)

???: “So what if I am? Do you want my student ID? So you can what, take it and tattle to my profs? Seems like I really shouldn’t tell you my name.”

MC: “...”

[Observe His Student ID]

MC: (Argh, wave it again, I dare you! It’s not like I’m going to go as far as to snatch it out of your hand. Even if you’re not afraid of looking childish, I am!)

[Observe His Hair]

MC: (Look at that hairstyle. Did he fix it himself with hair wax? So he cares about his appearance…)

???: “Why aren’t you saying anything, jiejie? You keep staring at me. Are you mesmerized by my handsome smile?”

MC: (C-cough!)

(Who gave you that much confidence. So narcissistic!) 

[Observe His Clothes]

MC: (That shirt is not particularly eye-catching, but it’s definitely from a trendy brand. It looks like his family’s well off. No wonder he's so… arrogant!)

[Talk to Him]

(Look at his evil grin which screams that he wants to start something. I really want to ask what...)

MC: “You’re a student? How old are you?”

???: “Don’t get upset at me. You weren’t watching where you were going as well. If you want me to take responsibility for the accident, the most I’ll accept is splitting the blame with you. Fifty-fifty.”

MC: “...”

(How did I… get into this predicament…)

???: “Oi, what are you doing at the university anyway? Are you here to see the art exhibition?”

MC: “Yeah, I’m headed to the exhibition hall.”

???: “How interesting, you’re sightseeing yet you have no idea where the exhibition hall is? You’re walking in the opposite direction.”

MC: “Don’t try to fool me again. I’m an alumni of Stellis University, how can I not know where the exhibition hall is? Unless you’re suggesting that the building grew legs and relocated itself.”

???: “Not relocated. A new one was built last year.”

MC: “A new building?”

???: “Yup, the school’s new art museum also doubles as Stellis City’s municipal exhibition hall.”

MC: (Ah… I must have buried my head too far into work. I’ve completely stopped paying attention to the changes in the outside world.)

???: “Forget it, I’ll just take you there myself. Consider this as my half of the payment for bumping into you.”

▌Location- Exhibition Hall

(Just like that, a nameless Stellis University student took me to the newly built exhibition hall. There weren't too many people gathered by the front doors, and from afar, I think I saw someone who resembled Mo Yi.)

(Almost as if that person sensed my gaze, he turned around and waved me over. It was Mo Yi.)

——-

T/N: [1] New character likes to call MC 姐姐, and although it technically translates to big sister, it doesn’t quite capture the meaning, thus we will be leaving it as jiejie. In Chinese, calling someone older than you by jiejie is a form of respect, as well as acknowledgement that they’re pretty. This is one of those because I’m addressing you as an elder (to me), I respect you as an elder (respect your elders rule). In some cases, it can also be used as flattery, for instance, when you call someone of an older generation (say in their 40-50s) as jiejie, it’s saying something along the lines of “Wow, you don’t look a day over 20″. Bonus points in their book! Although it has to be used appropriately. In the earlier instance, he calls MC 小姐姐 which literally translates to small big sister, which is a paradox, but it’s just to say like oh you’re older than me (probably) but you’re small and cute. There’s really no good way to translate these things. TLDR: 姐姐 cannot be fully translated well, so we’ll be leaving it as jiejie.

——-

[Previous Chapter] | [Masterlist] | [Next Part]

——-

《CREDIT》 Translator: @humi-and-co​​ Editor: @cL QC: @hallowsivy​ 《未定事件簿》Tears of Themis is a 2020 Chinese otome game by 米哈游Mihoyo. All original credits go to 米哈游Mihoyo.

《 VOICE ACTORS 》 ??? | Yang Tianxiang: https://weibo.com/u/1745507755

[chemicalpink]

Bonding(M)♡ Park Jimin

Pairing: Stripper!Jimin x Dom!Reader

Genre: Smutttt , Steamy(ish), Stripper!AU, College!AU

Summary: in which Jimin is known (and fawned over) for being a stripper, whereas the reader is secretly working as a dominatrix for both money and research on her psych major, until Jimin discovers her and asks her for a favour in return to not spreading her secret.

Word Count: almost 3k

Warnings: honestly… some dom on dom action and a bit of plot if you look closely

A/N: It started with a kinda ehhh plot, got lost in the middle, ended up being smut af, and the end… i just idk I kinda want to make a fluffy part 2 if you like this mess. Also, please bear with me, I just recently got into a fandom again after 5 years on hiatus. K love u. Oh! and requests are always open!

You can read Part II here!

“I heard that just by looking at you once, she has you all hardened” some guy gushed over to his friend in a quiet voice

“But nobody has really seen her face” another voice joined as you rushed by to get to your Behavioural Analysis class. 214...214….This was the third time you were late to class, work has just been too much lately, not that you were complaining, money-wise it was great, the word was getting around pretty fast, and research was just as good but sometimes you wondered if it was really worth the sweat dripping down your back as you ran from the bus station to get to class. 

The door made a creaking noise and you flinched a little as you took a seat at the back of the room, next to a platinum-haired boy you, unfortunately, knew too well. 

“Miss (Y/N)” the whole room seemed to turn to look at you as the professor acknowledge your presence and you felt your heart skip a beat, anticipating the worst “Its the third time this week that you try to sneak into my lecture” you wouldn’t normally care about some man’s piercing eyes towards you, it was actually a part of your job to step over that type of confidence, but this was just… not your stage, you turned to look down, his gaze somehow becoming overpowering 

“I overslept. My apologies” a stifled giggle made its way from your left side and you felt the sudden urge to roll your eyes at who it belonged to… Park Jimin. It’s not that you hated him. You just hated the fact that of all places, you had to coexist with him in the same class, same campus, the same era in time. 

You really weren’t sure what evil you had done that the universe just seemed to get you back ten times stronger. Having to share a classroom with Jimin was bad enough already, he seemed to make your inside bubble every time he talked, but when the professor asked for you and him to be involved in a differential, it just had to be a payback for always arriving late. You were 99% sure at any time you would implode. The case was pretty simple tho, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Which seemed to fit perfectly to your classmate, so you thought about playing your cards in front of everyone, maybe if you were that someone that just shook their little brains, they would finally comprehend they were praising an egocentric little bitch. 

You could feel Jimin’s eyes waiting for you expectantly as soon as the teacher called out your name “Well NPD would pretty much sum it all up” and there it was, the same stifled giggle from before 

“Childhood trauma would also do it, Y/N” his tone was teasing you, and you knew better than to get involved but it was just not your day, your whole body turned towards him and a teasing smiled crept its way to your face 

“I thought you would know better, Jimin” his eyes squinted at you “Exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people… sounds a lot like you” the whole class seemed to quiet down as you said it. No one had ever dared to talk to THE Park Jimin that way… not with his status on campus.

“Should I keep going?” you felt your heart beating faster as you tried to keep up with his eyes-that were glued on you as he clicked his tongue and bowed his head as if asking you to proceed “Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people, Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others-” 

“And that would be it for today, you are dismissed” your eyes were still locked with Jimin’s as everyone gathered their things, you heart not slowing down and a boiling feeling within you, much to your surprise, Jimin was the first one to break eye contact, getting ready to stand up and leave the classroom, his right hand was already pushing the door open when he turned around to face you, still packing up your things.

“You know, Y/N, it's so brave of you to talk that way taking into account what you do for a living” you felt your heart rate quicken and you began to breathe rapidly. He-no. he couldn’t. Could he? No. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about” “Sure you don’t” stop the overthinking Y/N. He doesn’t know. No one knows. 

“So tell me… where should I pick you up if ...you know, I want your services” you could swear your heart stopped beating for a second just before the boiling sensation of rage took over and venomously spatted “I’m not like you” he chuckled 

“Of course not, kitten. I dance for a living. You make people cum” something took over you as the last word left his mouth.

 That side you didn’t use except for work, just happened to overdrive your body and within seconds you had THE Park Jimin pined against a wall. Yes, the same guy that was way too famous for making all the girls swoon over him during Friday nights after class, in a small strip club just outside campus. The Park Jimin was an overly famed dom and took pride in it. 

And you- well you had your fair share of fame, but in a legend, almost mystic type of way. No one was supposed to know you were the famous dominatrix that attended every. single. need from the people visiting her small studio-like office, a few blocks away from where the boy danced his life away. 

“So I guess its true then” he smiled that teasing smile of his, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t make your knees just a little bit weak “you do make any guy harden at your touch” you let your hand fall from his chest and quickly turned away as you tried to steady your breath 

“Listen… no one can know about this” he smirked as his eyes somewhat darkened. You knew this look. You would have to pay the price of his silence

“Just tell me already how much its gonna cost, you perv” your tone was kind of desperate as you stole a glimpse of the classroom’s clock and realised that you were already late for work. “a hundred? I’ll get them by the end of the week” 

“Actually” he paused as he looked at you as if something seemed funny to him about this whole situation “Social service will do this time. I’ll stop by your dorm tonight” you slowly felt whatever it was that possessed you a while ago. Rage? Indignation? Both? Whatever it meant that he would stop by your dorm, you weren’t having it. 

“I have work tonight” 

“So do I” so… there really was no way around it 

“Listen, money is no problem Jimin” 

“I know. But unless you’d like the whole campus to know who our beloved and mysterious dominatrix is… I’ll see you… let’s say, 2 am?” he bit his lip as he exited the room. Not giving you a chance to even consider manipulating him into getting your way, which was indeed, your speciality. 

The thing was, between attending evening classes, late-night work, homework and maintaining a somewhat normal social life, Jimin stopping by to whatever he meant by ‘social service’ meant you’d have to cram your studying time.

Work went by pretty quickly. And you couldn’t help but keep on wondering what was waiting for you with Jimin. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of what you did for a living… but it would lose its spark if people knew who you were.

Your head started to ache as you started getting ready to leave. It was already 1:30 am, which meant that it would take you around 20 minutes to get to your dorm and hopefully have enough time to change out of the red kinky thigh-high leather boots your work required that day. 

But boy were you one to get the times wrong. 

As you entered the hall of the unit, your eyes fell on a very glittery Jimin sitting on the floor outside your studio, unbuttoned black shirt and phone in hand. 

You walked up to him, exhaling loudly as an attempt to calm yourself down. You nudged his side with the tip of your boots. He looked up. 

“I was about to call you, but then I realised that I didn’t have your number” great. so he was an asshole and also had lame pick up lines. You really wondered how exactly did he have so many girls falling for him 

“And you’re not getting it” you opened the door and motioned for him to enter “Come on in, and may I ask, how exactly you got into the girl’s unit?” 

“Ah… little Y/N. I can get any girl to do whatever it is that I please” you closed your eyes as another wave of pain hit you 

“Yeah… you stay here. I’ll just go grab an aspirin” the dorm wasn’t big, as a matter of fact, your bed was just a few steps from the ‘living room’ where you left Jimin, but it did what it promised, let you crash. 

You could have sworn you were gone less than a minute before encountering a semi-naked Jimin propped up on your bed, striking what he might have thought of as a sexy pose, patting the bed by his front side for you to sit “Okay. I’m done. Get out”

He sat up “No, wait. I really need this. And you too, Y/N” he smiled at you, but not that smirk you had been used to seeing, the smile that radiated confidence and ego but one that almost seemed friendly, one that made him look innocent, cute, dare you say it. 

“A favour for a favour. As classmates that do kind of the same for a living” You grabbed the chair from your desk and sat in it, crossing your arms. Willing to put on a fight for as long as it benefited you 

“Fine. Be quick” 

“I’m just asking for a few minutes of your night, once a week. I need help with my show. And who knows? you might end up liking it” and there it was, every ounce of liking towards him that he built with the friendly smile and appealing to the sentiment of belonging to the same team. Gone 

“No way”

“Fine. Then just be ready for your little secret to come out” Was it really worth it? He did say, just a few minutes every week. But the thought of having Jimin over, dancing and doing who know what in your dorm, was unbearable. Then again, he did say he needed it. 

“Just a few minutes every week?” 

“Yeah” 

“Fine then stop by tomorrow. Same time” he smiled brightly at you “Now get lost. I need sleep”

What happened the next night though, nothing could have prepared you for it. Your assistant told you you had a new client coming, so as per usual, you were ready to test him out from simple to more complex things. You heard the door closing as some footsteps approached the bed behind you 

“Just stay there. I’ll be with you in a second” 

“God. those bunny ears really do suit you, Y/N” you could have sworn that your heart skipped a beat as you felt heat building up inside you, from rage. But this was somewhat to your advantage, he had just stepped in the lion’s den and had no idea 

“I thought we agreed on meeting in my dorm” you said as you walked up to the bed, taking a seat behind him, with his back between your thighs 

“I thought this might be more fun” of course he was more than excited to play this game, but you weren’t going to let him win. 

Something flashed in his eyes. Something you have become very familiar with. Lust. And then Jimin pushes you against the wall, his fingers laced with yours, your back against the cold wall that held all of your work tools. And you saw what he was going for. Tying you up. But you were having none of it. In a matter of seconds, it was him pressed against the wall, his eyes reflecting the pink led lights from the room. You held tightly on his crotch as he tried to gain dominance over you, keeping him in his place. He just smirks.

You stay there for a moment, him locked under you, and the two of you stare at each other like you’re waiting for someone to make a move. A stalemate. And then you can’t tell who breaks it first, but somehow your lips collide in a hungry, urgent kiss. He kisses you deep, hungrily, desperately, like he wants to consume you whole. As you let your firm grip go, his touch is rough, his fingers grip so tight against your hip that it hurts, and the pain just spurs on the arousal beginning to pool in your belly. 

Jimin bites your lower lip as he pulls away, his eyes scanning over your face. The room felt silent, steamy like the bright lights were invited you two to step it up, taunting you to take it forward. Your breath hisses in involuntarily as you look down at the bulge in his pants, your eyes flitting back up to Jimin’s face. He has a cocky calm look on his face, and it occurs to you that you had never expected Park Jimin the stripper to be like this. 

For a moment you consider stopping, standing up and strolling out. This is a bad idea, the rational side of your brain chides. He’s… himself, the single-cell brained asshole that always sits beside you in class, the self-centred stripper Park Jimin, this is so wrong. But when you look into Jimin’s dark eyes and see the way he licks his lip while staring you up and down, the confidence that emanates from him. And all reason flies out of your head. You want him.

“C’mon spread those legs for me” he whispers to your ear and you can feel his hot breath tickling your neck. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what to say. Saying it without cockiness or nastiness but stating it firmly and calmly… sweet God. 

But this is a game you are not allowing yourself to lose. The hand you have been keeping on his crotch rapidly makes its way into his pants, stroking him over his underwear. He lets out a suppressed grunt and the sound makes you smile. 

Your smile widens when you stop stroking and grab him full in your hand and feel his thighs stiffen. Somehow his lips find their way to your neck, placing you in his previous stand, bot of your bottoms soon discarded, as he held both of your hands behind you, you felt a warmness near your pussy, followed by his voice.

“Tell me how much you want it”

“I don’t beg” everything that had gone thorough between you two in the past few minutes was better than anything you could have imagined. But the way he seemed so bothered by you not sticking to his dominant side’s orders just made you even wetter and weak in the knees. 

And then Jimin slides inside of you.

The last thing you see before closing your eyes and succumbing into pure please was Jimin’s jaw clenching, his platinum hair all messed up. He takes it slow, likely on purpose, and you let out a cry at the feeling. His cock is thicker than what you’re used to, and it stretches you out. It’s been such a long time since you’ve had sex, and when you did have time in the past, it was always rushed. You, dominantly riding a guy until you had a quick, mildly satisfying orgasm. But it was never this – dominated, teased, sprawled under a man with plump lips and a silky smooth voice. 

When he’s finally all the way inside of you, you release a long breath that you didn’t even know you’d been holding in. You hear Jimin let out a stuttering breath, the two of you are still for a moment, just feeling one another, you exchange silent glances to which you weren’t quite sure the meaning of and then Jimin starts to thrust.

He is fucking into you hard, his pace steady and at just the right speed to have you crying out his name while shutting your eyes and drawing your nails into his back for balance, or maybe just to somehow be able to feel him closer. The blood is rushing to your face and you’re slightly dizzy from the mask you have on but all you can feel is him, the loud slap of skin resonating between the four walls of the small room as he slams into you. 

You can hear the vocalizations he makes with every thrust, grunts, growls, and then small soft mewls as he arches upwards and hits you at different angles. Each push of his cock leaves you a writhing mess beneath him. Just as you feel an unavoidable heat forming in the lower part of your belly, he stops. He completely stops. Steals one last glance at you, adding his signature smirk after pulling his pants on and leaves you there. All worked up against the wall, your mouth hanging open as he walks out. If you didn’t hate Park Jimin before, you were sure as hell you did now. 

[calpalirwin]

Never Imagined We’d End Like This

Summary: Just because it doesn’t work, doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. Sometimes people are better off as friends.

A/N: Time to learn a little bit more about the couple Finn and Vanessa were before they became our favorite exes (some overlap of the beginning of Package Deal)

Word Count: 4.4k

And away, and away we go!

__

“Um… Mr. Campbell?” Vanessa asked shyly, her knuckles barely scraping against the open door of the young man’s office.

“Yeah?” Finn asked, not looking up from his work.

“Sorry to bother you… but, um Professor Roe sent me. I missed the midterm and he said I should contact you. I would have emailed but I saw your office was open.”

Finn’s eyes tore away from his work and over at the woman. She was young, eighteen, maybe nineteen, if he had to guess. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, with bangs sweeping across her forehead. Soft and innocent eyes that shone with intelligence. “Intro to Psych?” he asked kindly, pulling open a desk drawer and ruffling through it.

“Yes, sir,” she mumbled politely with a nod trying to look anywhere but at the handsome teacher’s assistant the sleeves of his shirt perfectly rolled midway up his forearms, lithe fingers running through the various folders before locating the right one.

“It’s Finn, please,” he told her, opening up the folder and pulling out a test. “I know it’s kinda cramped in here, but you’re more than welcome to the space. Or you can take the test with you and bring it back whenever. I would just recommend setting a timer for like an hour. It’s not worth spending much more time on it than that.”

“Thank you, Finn. But it might be best if I take it here. Quiet space even if it is small.”

He chuckled and cleared off a space on his desk for her. “Here, you can take my chair,” he offered, gesturing to the newly created spot.

“Oh, I can stand,” she waved him off. “You’re already being so nice.”

“Nonsense. I need to check with Professor Roe if he needs anything before class anyways so I’ll be on my feet for a bit,” he half-lied.

“Thanks.” Her cheeks flushed as she took the seat and set out to work.

“I’m sorry,” Finn shook his head. “I’m terrible with names. You are?”

“Vanessa Parker. Tuesday/Thursday class at 3.”

“Daydreamer,” he recalled with a nod. The girl had a strong tendency of letting her mind wander, a lazy smile on her lips with her chin cupped in her left hand while her right twirled her pen. But despite her daydreaming, she always had the correct answer on the tip of her tongue.

“I-” she started to stammer. “Last class. Long day. Don’t mean to.”

Finn chuckled. “No, it’s fine. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t so on top of your studies. Are you a psych major, Miss Parker?”

“Vanessa,” she corrected. “And no. Economics.”

He let out a huff of surprise. “Economics, huh? Never woulda guessed.”

She shrugged. “I like numbers. Always a definitive answer.”

He chuckled again and she smiled, liking the way he laughed and him equally enamoured with the way she smiled.

~~~

“Oh, it’s just gonna be me and my mom. I’m an only child, and Dad died when I was in high school,” Finn confessed when they were their plans for the break after the end of the semester.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Vanessa sighed sadly, cupping Finn’s face in her hands, thumbs rubbing across his cheekbones.

“S’alright,” he smiled softly at her, turning his head to press kisses against her palms. “He was sick a lot when I was a kid. Cancer. So we knew it was coming.”

“That’s still shitty, love. I can’t imagine losing my dad even if he does drive me crazy.”

“Yeah, your family. Tell me about them.”

“Mom and Dad. Still married. A sister who’s a year younger than me. I don’t really get along with any of them.”

“Why’s that?” Finn pressed gently.

“My sister’s a narcissist and my parents let her get away with it. My entire life has been her one-upping me. Like I honestly wouldn't be surprised if when I get home she tells us that she got accepted early into like an Ivy League and is valedictorian.”

“Then come home with me for the break.”

She snorted in disbelief. “I can’t just go home with you for the break.”

“Why not?”

“They’re my family, Finn. Whatever our bullshit I haven’t seen them in four months.”

“They may be your family, but toxic is still toxic, Ness.”

“Well…” Vanessa smiled at the thought of spending her week wrapped up in Finn rather than with her family. “I’d have to at least make an appearance… but no one said I had to stay there the whole time…”

Finn brightened, kissing her excitedly. “Oh, this’ll be great! My mom can’t wait to meet you.”

“You told your mom about me?”

“Of course I did. Think I’d keep someone as great as you a secret? I’d tell the whole world if they’d listen.”

Vanessa blushed. “Oh, stop. I’m okay, sure. But I wouldn’t say I’m great.”

“Well, that’s why I’ll say it for you.”

~~~

“Mom, this is Vanessa. Ness, this is my mom, Carol,” Finn introduced.

“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you, sweetheart!” the older woman said, pulling Vanessa in for a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Vanessa returned the warmth, already liking this welcome home much more than the one she imagined was waiting for her at her parents’ place.

The rest of the afternoon found Vanessa sitting besides Carol on the couch, pouring over photo album after photo album, Finn growing up in front of their eyes. School pictures, birthdays, Halloween costumes, his high school graduation, and finally a picture of him that couldn’t have been that old: his hair an unruly wet mess and a wide smile as he straddled a surfboard in the middle of the ocean. “I didn’t know you surfed,” Vanessa murmured, admiring both the picture and the man at her side.

Finn shrugged. “I’m alright. I’ll take you out sometime if you like.”

“And I’ll teach you how to paint!” she agreed happily.

“You paint?” both Carol and Finn asked.

Vanessa nodded. “Mhm. I have some of them up in my dorm room. You’ve seen ‘em.”

“I thought you bought those…” Finn admitted sheepishly. “They’re really good, Ness.”

“Thanks, love,” she smiled at him, interlacing their fingers together as he kissed her cheek.

“So…” Carol said, “Finn tells me you’re a freshman. How was your first semester living away from home and everything? I bet you miss your family tons.”

So Vanessa spent the better part of the evening rattling off how great her first semester had been while Carol listened intently, beyond happy for the young woman hanging off her son’s arm.

“Mom really likes you,” Finn told her later that night as they settled in for bed.

“I really like her too. She raised a hell of a man.”

“And I can’t wait to meet the family that raised such an amazing woman,” he returned the compliment.

“Oh, trust me. You can.”

Finn was sure his girlfriend was exaggerating, so when they got to her house the next morning, he was more than taken aback. “A boy?” was the greeting he got, complete with a look over from Mr. Parker.

“Finn, Dad,” Vanessa was quick to smooth things out. “He goes to school with me.”

“Mmm. And what do you study?”

“Psychology, sir,” Finn told him.

“Mmm… good money in that to be sure. Not sure if it’s worth all the schooling though. What year are you in?”

“I’m a junior, sir.”

“Older,” was the comment as the man looked over at his daughter.

“I got straight A’s, Dad,” she answered the unasked question about what running around with an older boy would do to her academics.

“So did your sister. Got her early acceptance letter, too.”

“Good for Erica,” Vanessa said with a tight-lipped smile. “Where is she? And Mom?”

“Around.”

As if that was the magic word, an older and younger copy of Vanessa practically poofed into the room, with bright smiles and airy laughs. “Nessie!” the younger one shrieked, before wrapping her sister in a tight hug.

Finn rubbed nervously at the back of his neck, thinking that the dad was a piece of work, but the impression of the sister seemed to be going okay so far. “Nessie! Did Dad tell you about school? I got in! Early acceptance and everything!”

“He did,” Vanessa nodded. “Congratulations. Erica, Mom, this is my boyfriend, Finn.”

Erica’s face fell as she looked over at Finn with the same level of scrutiny the father had given him. “Hello,” he said politely.

“Hi…”

The day quickly fell apart from there. Finn learned exactly what Vanessa had meant by Erica’s narcissistic constant one-upping and the parental acceptance. Every story Vanessa tried to tell her parents was quickly interrupted by an even more glorious story of the younger Parker daughter’s accomplishments with little regard to Vanessa’s own feelings. Still, at the end of the visit, Vanessa hugged her parents and sister goodbye with a smile on her face.

“So, whaddya think?” Vanessa asked, her voice far too bright for the hell they’d just endured.

“Do you want my honest answer, or the answer you want to hear?” he asked.

“The honest one…”

“Baby… your family sucks. Like… I don’t know how someone as great as you came from a family as horrible as that. And the fact that you still willingly put up with them… You’re probably the strongest woman I know…”

When her lip quivered, he was quick to add, “Oh, baby… no, it’s not your fault.”

“I hate them!” she wailed, before breaking down sobbing. “I hate my family!”

He held her while she cried, gently shushing her. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not!” she continued to sob. “They’re my family! What kind of monster am I for hating my family?!”

“You’re not a monster. Sometimes people just suck. But it’s not a reflection of who you are.”

His words soothed her enough to calm down, but she was still sniffling when they got back to his mom’s. “Oh, my, what happened?!” Carol asked, pulling Vanessa in for a hug and the warmth of it set Vanessa into hysterics again.

“Her sister’s a narcissist and her parents aren’t much better,” Finn deadpanned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Finn!” his mother scolded, while rubbing Vanessa’s back. “Shh, it’s alright, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t say it to be mean, Mom. I said it as a professional assessment.”

The woman smacked her son in the arm. “Time and place, Finn, time and place. Your girlfriend is upset.”

“She’s upset because her family sucks.”

“Finn Christopher!”

Vanessa sniffled, pulling out of Carol’s embrace and wiping at her face. “No, Finn’s right. My family… they aren’t the greatest.”

“Well, that’s okay, sweetheart. Unfortunately there’s not much we can do about who were bonded to biologically. But, we do get a say in whether we accept that bond and strengthen it, or create new bonds all together. My own family wasn’t much, but I eventually found one that was. They say you don’t get to choose your family. I say they’re half right.”

~~~

Finn’s mom quickly became Vanessa’s family after that. When spring break rolled around, Finn and Vanessa only visited Carol. And when summer came, Vanessa signed herself up for the school’s summer sessions so she didn’t have to give up her dorm room. A summer spent studying in Finn’s office while he worked, or sitting in the warm sand painting the handsome surfer when they succeeded in pulling the other away from their work.

It was a pattern the couple continued with the following school year. Minimal contact with her family while immersing herself in the new one she had found with Carol and Finn. And when Finn graduated that following spring, him and Vanessa moved into a little apartment a few blocks from campus.

It was in their small apartment that they dreamed about the family they would create together once she finished school and got a steady job, and once he completed his master and doctorate programs and started his own practice. Their own little life far away from the scrutiny of her family.

When Vanessa graduated with her bachelor’s and Finn with his master’s, Finn started to set money aside for a ring so they could start living the life they dreamed about together. But life had its own agenda, much like it does and instead of a ring, Finn bought a pregnancy test and stood with shaking hands outside a bathroom door rather than seated in a chair at a fancy restaurant.

“What’s it say? Finn asked timidly after what felt like the longest three minutes of his life.

“Pregnant,” her voice answered, small and terrified from the other side of the door.

He fought against his throat closing up to croak “Can you come out of the bathroom? Or let me in?”

The door slowly creaked open and she flung herself into his arms. “Are you mad at me?”

“No, baby,” he chuckled, running his hands through her hair and cupping her face in his hands so she’d look up at him. “We got this. I’m here every step of the way. I love you.”

“I love you.”

They told Carol first. After an appointment to make sure everything was going smoothly, they presented the woman with the sonogram. “I-is this…?” Carol stammered, looking quickly between her son, Vanessa, and their hands resting softly on Vanessa’s abdomen.

“Mhm,” Finn nodded.

“Oh, that’s great!” Carol clapped her hands to her mouth as a few happy sobs wracked her body. When she composed herself, she rattled on and on about how excited she was for them, and how if they needed anything all they needed to do was ask her.

Telling Vanessa’s family was another story.

The twenty-two year old woman slid the sonogram towards her parents, her other hand clinging tightly to Finn’s underneath the dinner table. “What’s this?” Mr. and Mrs. Parker asked, faces pulled into frowns as they studied the small picture.

“Your grandchild,” Vanessa told them.

“Oh, Nessie,” they said sorrowfully.

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

“Well you just started at your job. This isn’t going to be easy, Nessie,” her mother said, patting her daughter’s hand comfortingly.

“We know that. But it’s still something we’re excited for and honestly, I’m a little disappointment you don’t seem to share the same enthusiasm. This is your first grandchild.”

“Nessie, we are thrilled for you and Finn,” her father stepped in. “But…”

“But you don’t approve of the timing,” Vanessa finished sharply. “Because you never approved of anything I did.”

“Nessie!” her parents called out in shock as the couple got up and left.

“I’m so proud of you,” Finn murmured, placing a kiss in her hair.

“I don’t know what they want from me… I got good grades. I got a solid career. I have a great relationship with a great man. I’m carrying their grandchild. I did everything right!”

“Shh, it’s alright. They don’t have to be around the baby. You don’t owe them anything.”

“That’s the thing though, Finn. Despite it all, I still want them to be able to meet the baby. My own feelings shouldn’t get in the way of them having a relationship with their grandchild.”

“I ever tell you how proud of you I am, and how much I love you?”

She gave him a watery smile as she nodded. “Yeah. You’re really good at that.”

“You make it really easy. And yes, this may be their grandchild, but it’s our child. And if people want to be in their life, they have to earn it, no matter who they are.”

“Five bucks says Erica’s pregnant by Christmas,” she joked humorlessly.

“Ten says your parents are actually thrilled.”

Both ended up being right. They made their appearance Christmas morning and Erica busted out her news before the couple could hang up their coats. And the younger sister’s news didn’t end there, as she flashed her ring hand exuberantly. The entire breakfast was spent with Erica gushing over her pregnancy and following engagement while Mr. and Mrs. Parker beamed with pride of how wonderful it was that Erica would graduate, and become a wife and mother by the time summer rolled around. Vanessa left fuming that she’d never speak to her parents or her sister ever again. Finn wholeheartedly agreed, but knew his girlfriend would probably flip flop back and forth between wanting nothing to do with her family and wanting them in their child’s life.

~~~

“Are you ever gonna ask me to marry you?” Vanessa asked as they crammed together on the hospital to stare over at the bassinet that held the world’s most perfect little boy.

“I was,” Finn admitted.

“Past tense… Uh-oh…”

Finn gave a soft laugh as he kissed the side of her head. “I didn’t want you to think I was asking you because you were pregnant and it was the ‘right’ thing to do. When I ask I want there to be no doubt in your mind about why I’m asking. I won’t ask you if you think I’m only asking because you’re the mother of my child. I want you to know I’m asking you because I can’t imagine my life without you by my side. And when I think you know that, I’ll ask. Until then, I’m just gonna love you and Mason like crazy.”

~~~

“Finn? Finn. Finn!”

“Huh? What?!” Finn jumped in his seat.

“Were you even listening?” she asked, voice laced with annoyance.

“Yeah… the babbling… more stories. Library.”

She sighed.

“What?”

“I told you about the library having toddler time last week.”

“Oh… sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was saying,” she said in a clipped tone, “that we should try to get him in a routine.”

“Mase already has a routine,” Finn pointed out.

“No, but like even more of one. Like we can talk with Mom about getting her to do the same things with him at the same time every day when she watches him. And at home we can do the same thing. Says here that getting rid of any unpredictability can help kids with autism.”

“Mase isn’t autistic though.”

“No, the doctors say he’s too young to know for certain. But he definitely has signs we should be looking for. If they thought he wasn’t autistic, they would say he wasn’t and tell us to look for something else. Not being entirely sure isn’t the same as not being it at all, Finn.”

“Whatever… get him on a stricter routine then.”

She threw her hands in the air. “So you don’t even care? This is our son, Finn.”

“How are you mad at me for agreeing with you?”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m frustrated in general, and would like you to take this seriously.”

“I am taking it seriously!”

“No, you’re not!”

“Just because I don’t spend all my free time pouring over different studies that all conflict with each other like you do, doesn't mean I’m not taking this seriously, Ness.”

“I’m not expecting you to do the research with me! But I’d like it if you would listen to it.”

“I am listening! You want him on a stricter routine. Great. Do that then.”

“Ugh! Why are you so frustrating!”

“Because this is frustrating! You think it’s easy being told that my son will never be able to look me in the eye, or call me ‘Daddy’?! That I’ll probably never hear him say he loves me?! Just because I’m not struggling with this news the same way you are doesn’t mean I’m not equally heartbroken about this! Just because my coping is different than yours doesn’t make me a bad parent!”

“I never said you were!”

“You didn’t have to…” His chair scraped back as he stood up.

“Where are you going?!”

“We’re both way too worked up, so I’m leaving before we say something we’ll regret.”

“This is so fuckin’ stupid!”

“Oh look! Something we agree on!”

Vanessa swallowed the scream. She envied the way Finn could remain level headed, pick his words carefully, and even realize when he needed to walk away from a conversation. Being with him, she had picked up on some of those habits herself, but she knew she still struggled with wanting to give up the fight even if it was only to hit pause.

After ten or so minutes, she went in search of her boyfriend, finding him laying in bed with Mason, doing everything he could to get some sort of response from the almost two year old. “I’m sorry,” she started, crawling up onto the bed with them. “There’s a lot I’m frustrated about and I took it out on you. Forgiven?”

“Forgiven,” Finn nodded. “And I’m sorry too. I should have listened to what you were saying rather than drawing my own conclusions. Forgiven?”

“Forgiven.”

“Do you want to tell me what you’re frustrated about? Or would you rather move on and create a new routine for Mase?”

“It’s my family…” she sighed.

Finn held back on rolling his eyes. “Of course it is… What happened in the perfect Parker household this time?”

“Danny’s talking up a storm. Erica and Scott are planning their anniversary trip to Mexico or Europe or something.”

“And they asked about Mason?”

“Only to compare their two grandsons.”

“Well, I’ll take potty-training whiz over talkative anyday.”

Vanessa laughed at that. Mason had taken very quickly to potty-training, whereas her nephew, Daniel, showed no interest. “Yeah, Mom said we even woke up from our nap dry.”

“Great job, buddy!” Finn beamed at the small boy who was watching his parents intently. “You just want your words to count, huh? Too smart to waste time on nonsense babbling. Right?”

There was a twinge of fear in his last word as he looked over at Vanessa worriedly. She quickly nodded her head. “Of course. Man of few words, aren’t you, sweet boy?”

“You’re a great mom, Ness,” Finn said softly, reaching out to rub his thumb over the back of her hand.

“And you’re a great dad. We did everything right. Mason just is who he is and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Exactly.”

While the words were right, it did little to soothe either of their raging thoughts. Thoughts about if they were doing right by their little boy. If they were doing right by each other. The smile they gave each other was weak and forced, and the way their fingers interlaced was far more out of instinct than anything else. They were running on fumes, they just didn’t know how to let go for fear of shattering the other one more than they were already shattered.

Finn told his mother about it one afternoon when he picked up Mason on a day Vanessa had to stay late at the office. “I love her. I do. I know I do. But… we haven’t been us in a long time. We’re fighting more. And I thought at first that it was just a rough patch. But…”

“But you’re both focused on Mase. And as much as you love him he’s a handful. Children require a lot of our attention. And it’s easy to lose track of other things. And it’s no one’s fault.”

“But I still love her.”

“No one’s denying that, sweetheart But, you can still love someone without actually being in love with them anymore.”

“I failed her, Mom… we’re not supposed to end like this.”

“Finn… listen very carefully to what I’m about to say. Some people aren’t meant to be together forever. There’s no shame in that. It doesn’t mean the relationship failed. It doesn’t even mean that the relationship was wrong or that the feelings weren’t real. People fall out of love and that’s okay. This isn’t ending your relationship with Ness. It’s just closing the romance chapter and starting the parenting one.”

“But I’m not ready to fall out of love with her…” he cried. “I don’t want this to be a chapter. It’s supposed to be the book.”

“Then try,” she encouraged. “Go out on a date. Get out of your heads and roles as parents and just be Finn and Vanessa again for a night. See if that helps. If it does, then keep doing that for yourselves every now and then. And if it doesn’t…”

“Then I have to let her go…”

“You have to let each other both go,” she corrected lightly. “It doesn’t mean you love each other any less. But you both deserve to be in love with someone, so you’re not doing anyone any favors keeping each other from that. You don’t want to wake up one day and resent Vanessa anymore than you want her to wake up one day and resent you. You’ve built a beautiful life together. And you can keep doing that. You just might have to change how that looks is all.”

“C-can you watch Mase on Saturday for us?”

“Of course, sweetheart. He can even spend the night.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

~~~

The night started out really nice. Finn felt himself smiling brighter than he had in a long while at the excitement in Vanessa’s eyes he’d missed seeing. But as the night wore on, the guilt sank in and so did the undeniable feeling that they just didn’t work anymore. Still, they couldn’t bring themselves to end their last night of pretending, dragging the moment into the wee hours of the next morning.

“You know I’m always gonna love you, right?” he asked, savoring holding her against him one last time.

“I know,” she nodded her head against his chest. “We’d do it all over again, right?”

“In a heartbeat.” His voice was soft and she felt a tear splash in her hair. “You’ve given me so much, Ness. I know it’s probably cheesy to say, but I’m a better man for having known you.”

“You’ve made me a better woman, and have given me just as much. You gave me a family.”

“We’re still family. I’m not going anywhere. We’re still a team. I still love you.”

“I know.” She kissed her way up his chest. “The only thing changing is that we’re no longer physically together. We didn’t give up on us. We’re making us better. Better people to each other, and better parents to our son.”

“Exactly. And hey, promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Find someone.”

“Only if you promise to find someone too.”

“Pinky swear,” he nodded. They interlocked their pinkies, giving their fingers a quick kiss, sealing the deal. “No regrets.”

“Not a single one. I love you, Finn.”

“I love you too, Ness.”

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[rogueariadne]

To Have A Villain’s Quirk

TWO: SAY SOMETHING

Constant talking, yelling, people crowding the halls, bumping into the maroon-haired girl. It was so loud. She just wanted it to be quiet- she quickly shook that thought from her head. She couldn't let her emotions take her over. She just needed to get to class and get the day over with. Kaida took a few deep breaths as she heard the bell ring, weaving her way through the dispersing crowd. It was going to be a long day.

    She could hear the laughter throughout the day, hearing the condescending tones of the people around her.

    "Wow, that class has two quirkless kids. What are the odds?"

    If only they knew.. if only they knew.

    Kaida found her seat relatively quick, behind the boy with the green hair. The one she'd sometimes talk to during projects. He was so nice, and he was quirkless. The one who was always picked on by everyone else. She wasn't as picked on, given she'd glare at anyone who tried to come near her. She rested her cheek on her hand, staring out the window as class progressed, hardly tuning in.

    "Sooo, as third year students, it's time to think about it your futures and what you want to do with your lives. I could pass out your career aptitude test, but why bother? We all know you all want to go into the hero course, right?" Kaida's ears perked at the sudden cheering over the teachers words. It only made her sigh, glancing around the room.

   "Yes, yes. You all got some very impressive quirks, but no power usage allowed in school. Get a hold of yourselves." The cheering slowly died down and the young girl, rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the sky.

    "Hey, teach, don't lump me in with these bunch of losers." Her violet eyes swiveled to the ash blond boy near the front. Bully. She could feel his smirk all the way to where she sat. "I'm the real deal but these guys will be lucking to be a sidekick to some busted D-lister. Ha!" He laughed, making Kaida clench her fist. What an asshole. She could hear everyone getting worked back up.

    "You think you're better than us, Katsuki?" One kid shouted, making Bakugo shot up from his seat, his quirk activating.

    "Let's go! I'll take you all on!"

    "Huh. You've got an impressive test result. Maybe you'll get into UA High." The teacher inputted, and Kaida flinched. Was he really going for the same school? Of course he was. It's the best in the country.

    "He's gonna try for the national school?"

    "That school has a point two percent acceptance rate."

     "It's impossible to get into." Student after student joined in, and it only made the girl feel worse. She could even see the boy in front of her shaking.

    "That's exactly why it's the only place worthy of me!" Why did he feel the need to stand atop his desk? "I aced all the mock tests, I'm the only one at this school who stands a chance of getting in. I'll end up more popular than All Might himself, and I'll be the richest hero of all time! The people all across the world will know who I am and it all starts with UA High!" The hot head seemed to shout at the top of his lungs; Hiyama saw everyone getting annoyed with his dumb monologuing. And Kaida wanted to believe that she at least stood a chance, too.

    "Oh yeah, Midoriya, Hiyama, don't you two want to go to UA as well?"

    Shit.

    The class erupted into laughter as the two classmates jumped in surprise at their names being mentioned, both faces growing red from embarrassment. So, green hair wanted to get in, too. Even though he was quirkless. That was admirable. But she believed the teacher made a mistake mentioning it.

    "Midoriya and Hiyama? You're kidding right?"

    "There is no way you're both getting into the hero course without a quirk!" They called out. Kaida clenched her teeth, refraining from letting her eyes show her true nature. She could hear Midoriya stuttering out his defense.

    "U-uh, actually, they got rid of that rule. We could be the first ones.." He felt the need to include her? Instead of just saying him? She was touched, but she didn't want to be called out any longer. She caught Bakugo leaving his seat and going towards Midoriya, his hand sparking. Lucky for her, she noticed in time and quickly scooted her chair to the side. He slammed his hand down atop the poor boys desk, blasting it to pieces. Midoriya fell to the floor, Kaida flinching as he dropped beside her. She wanted to reach her hand out and help him, but Bakugo had slammed his hand on her desk too, not blowing it up, but it still startled her.

    "AARRGH! Listen up, Deku! And you too, Red! You're even worse than these damn rejects, you quirkless wannabes! You really think they'll let someone like you in when they can have me?!"

    "Huh?! No way, you got it all wrong, really! I'm not trying to compete against you. You gotta believe me! It's just that I wanted to be a hero since I was little. I may not have a quirk but can still try my hardest, can't I?" Midoriya rambled on, Kaida just staring at the two. Should she speak? She never really defended herself or spoke out against anyone, what could she do?

    "You'll never be able to hang with the best of the best, you'll die in the exams, both of you, defenseless Izuku. The schools already crappy. You guys really want to embarrass it more by failing so hard." Bakugo continued to rant on, and really, she had heard enough. Kaida jolted up from her seat, glaring the boy down with violet eyes, feeling them threaten to change.

    "You really are an egotistical, narcissistic asshole, aren't you?" She started, and Bakugo lifted his hand.

    "What did you say, Red?!"

    "You heard me. You won't be laughing when we get in and pass you so easily. Remember, you won't be the only one with an amazing quirk. There will be ones that are way better than you could ever be." She growled out, fists clenched. She found herself standing in front of him, back facing the class. She was actually standing her ground for once.

    "You damn brat! I outta-!" He started to swing his hand, but she wasn't going to let him this time. She caught his wrist, looking down before back up at him, her eyes black with the faint glow of red pupils.

    "Do what?" She asked lowly. The demon tails threatened to pin him against the wall but she wouldn't let it. Katsuki and Midoriya stared at the girl, the room deathly quiet as she released his wrist and moving to help the green eyed boy up, eyes back to their violet hue.

    "You okay?" She asked softly, squeezing his hand as she pulled him up. He gave a slight nod, a thankful but timid smile gracing his expression. She heard Bakugo click his tongue as he returned to his seat, the teacher finally clearing his throat and pulling the unwanted attention off of the two.

                                 *

    After class, having moved seats so Midoriya could have hers, Kaida stretched back in the chair as she listened to the students chatter away. She could faintly hear Midoriya mumbling to himself about the fight this morning. She smiled a little. Maybe it could do her some good to make some friends. That being said, she stood up to make her way over to him, hesitant as she saw Bakugo approach him and take the notebook from the boys hands. Why was she hesitant now? She didn't have a problem standing up to him early.

    "I don't know what you think you're doing, Deku, but we're not done." He started.

    "What you got? His diary?"

    "Uh..." She could see he was physically uncomfortable with the interaction and wanted to intervene but the look on his face seemed to look like he was going to say something back.

    "Huh?! Don't tell me you're taking notes on how to be a hero?!"       "That's so pathetic!"

    "Haha, he's delusional." They laughed and laughed over something so important to him. They were also bullies.. she gritted her teeth but her feet wouldn't move.

    "Uh... Really funny guys. Just give it back." Kaida flinched as the notebook in hand exploded. She could see Bakugo show him the notebook before tossing it out the window beside her, making the young boy freak out. Finally, she moved.

    "Hey! What the hell is your deal?!" She shouted, making her way to them before his two lackys stood in front of her, blocking her way to the red eyed boy. Bakugo just glared at her, seemingly addressing the both of them, but mostly Midoriya.

    "Hum. Most first string heroes show potential early on. People look at them and just know they are destined for greatness. When I'm the only student from this garbage junior high to get into UA, people will start talking about me like that. They'll realize I'm legit, the next big thing. That's my ego talking but I just know know I'm good." He smirked at the two of them, like he happened to forget what had happened early.

    "Really? Because the way you act, you're nothing more than a soon-to-be villain." Kaida glared at them, hard. Bakugo was unfazed, clicking his tongue again.

    "From the look of your eyes earlier, looks like you are, Red. Not me." That hurt. And he could see it on her face as he turned back to Midoriya, resting his half-quirk-activated hand on Midoriyas shoulder. "Here's a word or advice, nerd. Don't even think of applying. Or else."

    Kaida looked down as the boys and Bakugo began to leave, hearing Midoriya start stuttering. The two boys laughed.

    "That's just sad. I thought you would have at least some fight in you."

     "He finally gets it. He'll never be a hero. Better to find out now then later, I guess."

    "You know, if you really want to be a hero that badly, there's actually another way. Just pray that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof of the building." Bakugo said, looking back at them with a big smug grin as he walked out the door, only stopping as Midoriya turned to him with a more confident look on his face. Only to be deflated by Bakugo's glare. Kaida couldn't believe how long she waited to say something.

    "Hey, Midoriya? Do you.. wanna walk out together?"

[haikyupid]

Order from Haikyuu Teens,

uhh ,, hello !! if it’s not too late , could i get a dalgona matchup latte please ? i am a infp-t & my enneagram type is 9 ! people who didn’t really know but now they do say that i always looked/seemed like the kind of person who is really cold & stuck up (only bc i look “mean”) . i’m very loyal . i’m the kind of person who’ll support & be there for my friends . i’m also caring (maybe a little too caring from what my friends tell me. but, i even know that myself) & i tend to be really selfless . once i get to know you , i’m really childish & i always try to make a dumb joke to make you laugh & ,,, i become more talkative & loud . i always catch myself rambling about random things & having too much enjoyment talking about things that i really like . mainly , only people who are close to me see how i really act & behave . i was never really an out-there kind of person ,,, i always like to keep to myself . but moving on to cons , i’m a total pushover— like— i’m not even going to lie about that fact . it sucks but , it is what it is . i overthink waay too much & it causes to make myself panic sometimes . i’m really stubborn & i also really don’t know when to shut up & i tend to be very vain . i also keep my feelings to myself because i feel like i’ll be such a burden or just ruin the mood . i’m a total lazy person & i tend to really take things to heart (which makes me want to morph myself into a person that someone wants me to be) & dear gOd ,,,, i’m so awkward (that it even makes my friends feel uneasy or awkward as well) . i really love to draw , stay up late , sing , & dance (even though i’m very terrible at both ^__^;;) . i also really enjoy being stupid on calls , sending memes , korean food , & kpop ! hmm … my dislikes ? well— i don’t like it when people are obviously being rude for no reason . i dislike very bright colors (neons) , spiders , getting dirty , the cold , & squash . let’s see … in a relationship , i like someone who will make feel safe & loved . i have very low self-esteem so i seek someone who is supporting , too . someone who is caring even if they tend to act cold or maybe stubborn . & i like someone who’s going to be there for me like i’m always going to be there for them , no matter what . i also really like a someone who is strong , cool , & protective . i do like that small things like “hey , go to sleep .. its late” & “good morning/good night” text , heh . but i things i don’t like too much in a relationship is too much pda . i’m not really a big fan of making out in the halls & stuff . but ofc i don’t mind holding hands & small kisses on the lips (i like to show all my love & affection behind closed doors) .

aCK- i hope this is okay & not too much- sorry if it is !! i hope you have a wonderful day ! :>> i really love your blog ♡♡

Thank you so much for ordering and checking up on Kyupid's Love Shop. One Dalgona Matchup Latte coming up! Huh, I’ve been seeing lots of side effects for this one… anyways, I matcha up with ˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥

➞ before you two were in a relationship, ryuu didn’t actually… particularly like you, he was still smitten with ms. kiyoko y’know

➞ he’s sadly one of those people who do judge the book by its cover, but only because he prefers to be surrounded by positive people, and well… you didn’t particularly radiate that kind of vibe with, uh, your face (he really do be a hypocrite though with that ‘grr grr thug’ face of his 😔✌️)

➞ ryuu found you so intimidating (and beautiful, but he was in denial back then), you once saw him do his signature ‘gangsta’ look at you; yeah… y’all definitely didn’t get along at first — but ahem, let me introduce you to another matchmaker, ennoshita!

➞ enno knows your true personality and he vibes with you so well, therefore it really confused him when you accidentally slipped in something about ryuu’s attitude towards you during one of your guys’ convos (y’all were in a group project together) and he knows the reason why ryuu tends to avoid you, so he devised a plan to get you two to know each other: have a study date!

➞ when ryuu walked into the room and saw you, mans turned into the flash and just dashed towards the exit — but enno was one step ahead, so he got nishi to lock the doors before dropping off tanaka, and his attempt to leave failed

➞ it was soooo embarrassing for the both of you when enno kept on trying to keep a conversation going between the two of you; but when he decided to leave to make hot chocolate, ryuu apologizes and voices his concerns, and you just reply with “oh… oh, yeah that kind of happens… a lot” so you try to explain your side; he was honestly heartbroken from hearing that you experience it often, so he made it his mission to make it up to you

➞ and now would you look at that! you and ryuu are suddenly a couple now— (better thank enno for that)

➞ he will apologize profusely about the way he treated you beforehand, even if you’ve already told him a millions times that it’s fine; like y’all already have kids and he’ll still be like:

“hey, honey…”

“yeees?”

“you remember that time in high schoo—“

“omg, ryuu, not this again…”

“i just want to say that i’m so sor—“

“it’s been 19 years!”

➞ you will honestly feel like a queen, i’m being legit here; he’ll not only be your king, he’ll also be your knight in shining armour, and your butler — he’s the whole package, bby, and you’re one lucky girl to get all of that

➞ you think you’re too caring? nah, ryuu’s about to show you the life of a full time simp (skjkskss ik that being a simp is like so looked down on, but ik that every girl wants a man who’s a simp anyways)

➞ i’m kidding, he’s actually not a simp (A man who foolishly overvalues and defers to a woman, putting her on a pedestal) but more so he’s a doting boyfriend; you just know that you’re always gonna be at your best once you get into a relationship with him, so in a way, you are treated like a queen but not to the point where he worships the ground you walk on

➞ unless you tell him that you need some space, he’ll either have his arm lightly snaked around your waist or his hand resting on the small of your back; it’s his way of knowing that you’re protected and safe around him

➞ this relationship’s dynamic works extremely well since you both balance each other’s personalities in the aspects that you won’t have to worry about being a pushover around him since that’s not something that’ll occur with him; your more reserved personality compliments his outgoing one since if ever needed, you two could bring out the other side more in each other; he tends to have a more free personality (he’s still mature, but tends to enjoy life’s offerings) so whenever he feels that you’re overthinking again, he will coo and just reassure you that it’s okay to overthink sometimes, but it’s not worth having it control your entire mood and day

➞ ngl, he’s hella stubborn as well, but when it comes to you, he makes sure to understand your thinking first and then decide before he’ll let you take control — unless he thinks you’re completely wrong, then he won’t hesitate to put a foot down because he’s not going to help you turn into a spoiled brat, which is what hubby-material boyfriends do!

➞ to him though, it’s okay to be a lil’ vain, everyone wants to look to their best! but if it does however is on the verge of crossing the line of being full-on narcissistic, then he’ll confront you about it and ask you about why you’re acting the way you are, he’ll just try to put you into healthy-thinking mode back again

➞ you like memes? welp, that makes the two of you then! he definitely sends those wholesome memes, but his most favourite one to send you (especially as one those ‘good morning texts’) is:

➞ then he follows it up with ‘good morning, babe. strong power thank you to you always 😙😙 i love you so much. see ya at school!’ (aight, sorry, i just had to)

➞ kpop dances and karaoke on. the. daily! it doesn’t matter which song he’s dancing/singing to, as long as he gets to see you smile and know that you’re happy, he’ll do it all for you; he’ll also be your hypeman, and you’ll legit feel as if you’re an actual kpop idol with all the cheering he does — we love a supportive bf in this household

➞ *cough* he’ll sing lemonade by jeremy passion to you and he sounds so fokin beautiful— *cough*

➞ during calls with him, all you can hear is very loud laughter; whoever hears it (saeko for the most part) will just unconsciously smile since your guys’ laughs are just so genuine, even if it sometimes sounds a bit like a bunch of overheated kettles, they’ll just know that you both are having such a good time together and i mean, who wouldn’t want something like that?

➞ with you, he’s the type to send a message asking if you’re awake at like 2 AM, and if you do reply then expect him to come thru your window with some food in hand because he just felt like hearing your voice and seeing you; if not, then he’ll just send some cute message like ‘sleep tight and have good dreams, baby, i’ll see you tomorrow at school’

➞ once you two started dating, ryuu just had a more realistic view of relationships and he honestly prefers it way more than the scenarios that he’s created; now he appreciates privacy when it comes to showing affection instead of full-on just laying it all out in public, it just makes it that much more special to him; holding hands and just small skin contacts is his much more preferred pda than bear-hugging you or kissing you

➞ he’s not as needy as most expected him to be, in fact he actually often just caters to your needs because to him that’s enough; so expect small gifts here and there like making you a bento box, buying you strawberry milk, key-chains and bracelets, etc.

➞ he’s just more mature when he’s in an actual relationship because he does think that that’s something special that should only be shared between the two lovers; that doesn’t mean that he won’t occasionally show you off though, so you may or may not accidentally hear him rambling to the vbc about how lucky he is to call you his

➞ he will remember and notice every little thing about you; he notices that you’re humming some new kpop song absentmindedly? he’ll ask you about it during lunch; you made a small comment about liking korean food? he’ll make some for you! and best believe it tastes amaaaaaazing

➞ with ryuu, the thought of being a burden won’t ever cross your mind because he will often remind you that you make his days so much better and thank you for it (just good shet right here)

➞ even if you feel bad for not going to gyms with him because of your tendencies of being a lil’ lazy, he won’t force you at all; he’ll either just give you a kiss on the lips and walk you home before going, or he’ll call you whilst he’s at the gym; you’ll just feel so appreciated

➞ oh, and you won’t ever have to be worried about being awkward! there’s no such thing when you’re with your boyfriend ryuu, everything just comes so natural when you’re with him, everything will just feel so right

➞ this is the relationship that everyone knows will eventually turn into marriage and building a joyous family, and everyone expects to be invited because they all wouldn’t want to miss any part of yours and ryuu’s genuine relationship that they’ve all more than likely have been a part of since the beginning; in short, everyone wants to witness your relationship’s full story till it’s very end.

I hope you enjoyed your Dalgona Matchup Latte! Here’s a visual of your chaotically genuine relationship with Tanaka Ryuunosuke: After seeing your true persona during the study sesh with Enno, he’s become all flustered every time he looks at you instead of looking at you with his usual ‘imma thug’ look; Your first kiss (he planned it, no kidding — literally place, time, the vibes, he just wanted it to be perfect for you); Tanaka likes to take his shirt off, so when you both cuddled for like the third time, and just blacked out from exhaustion after a heavy day of practice, he wakes up to find you cuddled up against his chest which is bare, this man screams— his thoughts were like ‘omg, did we do it? was i drunk? omg, pls forgive me, y/n 😭’… and you’re just left there like ‘bruh, dafuq?’; when he’s feeling appreciative of you or just being soft in general, he hugs you similar to the gif and kisses your temple before burying his face into your hair to whisper “i love you so much, y/n, you don’t even understand”; him holding your hand to his face and just talking to you, whether it’s about your day or his, or telling you how much he loves you, is probably something that he does all time whenever you two are alone.

Thank you so much for ordering and being patient with Kyupid's Love Shop, I hope you’ll still order in the future! Have a very very lovely day, sweetie ♡⋆.ೃ࿔*

an: lmao, forget about kiyoko, you his girl now. periodt.

sorry this took waaay too long, bby 😔 the spa day turned into a whole pamper-me day so i was out all day… i’m really sorry, i hope you still like your order even though it came later than promised 🥺 if there’s anything wrong (gif, colored texts not showing up) then please message me!

tanaka is waaaay too underrated, but i honestly think that he’ll literally be one the top 5 best bfs from haikyuu, like legit this man will make you feel like a damn queen (kiyoko do be lucky tho) maybe not in the beginning, but like definitely after a few weeks or so.

[havocmadden]

S I D E  A  —  P R I N C E S S E S  D O N ’ T  C R Y                       L I S T E N  H E R E

                                                                                      S I D E  B  —  Q U E E N  O F  M E A N                                                                                                       L I S T E N  H E R E

princesses don't cry — aviva ❝ cause a princess doesn't cry / a princess doesn't cry / over monsters in the night / don't waste our precious time / on boys with pretty eyes / a princess doesn't cry / a princess doesn't cry / burning like a fire / you feel it all the time / but wipe your teary eyes. ❞

                                                                                                                   the garden — mirah                                                                               ❝ oh oh i really wanted that thing / i just want                                                                                    to sing / ‘i love you baby / won't you bring                                                                                  / all the flowers you / find out in the garden                                                                                 / don't tell me the truth / that your heart has                                                                              hardened’ / but you don't want me anymore /                                                                            how can it be / look what you've done to me. ❞

prom queen — molly kate kestner ❝ god save the prom queen / teenage daydream / just another dressed up heartbreak / god save the prom queen / only eighteen / turned her tears to diamonds in her crown. ❞

                                                                           you should see me in a crown — billie eilish                                                                                ❝ you should see me in a crown / i'm gonna                                                                                 run this nothing town / watch me make 'em                                                                                  bow / one by one by one / one by one by /                                                                            you should see me in a crown / your silence is                                                                             my favorite sound / watch me make 'em bow /                                                                             one by one by one / one by one by / count my                                                                        cards, watch them fall / blood on a marble wall / i                                                                           like the way they all scream / tell me which one                                                                                                     is worse / living or dying first. ❞

hey little girl — sophiemarie.b ❝ i want you to feel bad when you go to sleep / i hope you're sad when you remember me / and feel bad for all you did to me / i hope you lie there in your misery / hey little girl you'll never believe / there's a ghost inside of you / but it's hidden too deep / hey little girl you'll never imagine / when you get a little older / you'll get abandoned / hey little girl you know smoking kills / you don't really care / 'cause you love how it feels / hey little girl you're falling apart / you don't really care /  'cause they broke your heart. ❞

                                                                                                                   queen — loren gray                                                                       ❝ you can call me a princess all you like /  'cause                                                                         you love to keep me helpless by your side / but                                                                        that ain't what i want, i'ma show you / i'ma show                                                              you how to treat me like a queen / boy, you better bow                                                                down on your knees / can i get a ‘yes, your majesty’?                                                                / so treat me like a queen / boy, you better bow down                                                                       on your knees / can i get a ‘yes, your majesty’? ❞

starring role — marina and the diamonds ❝ you don't love me / big fucking deal / i'll never tell you how i feel / you don't love me / not a big deal / i'll never tell you how i feel / it almost feels like a joke to play out a part / when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart / you know i'd rather walk alone / than play a supporting role / if i can't get the starring role. ❞

                                                                                                                       savage — bahari                                                                          ❝ when you touch me you take me to heaven /                                                                 when you hold me my body's a weapon / if you think                                                                 that you can save me, break me down, and tame me                                                                   / here's your chance to do some damage / savage. ❞

i want it all — natalie taylor ❝ i wanted beautiful things / diamond rings, diamonds rings / i get what i want / i live just to get what i want / i want it all. ❞

                                                                                                                           grrls — aviva                                                                         ❝ blameless i'll shatter through the glare / make                                                                        it, take it, they won't share / i can't fake it, i'll just                                                                          make it on my own / i can't blame them, i'll just                                                                          maim them on my throne / i can't fake it, i'll just                                                                       make it on my own / i can't blame them, i just got                                                                        to get to my throne / i am the latest colors, i sing                                                                   the newest songs / i read all the lyrics, so i can sing                                                               along / i am the latest colors, i stand above my throne                                                                               / waiting for an invite to never come along. ❞

white horse — taylor swift ❝ stupid girl / i should have known / i should have known / that i'm not a princess / this ain't a fairy tale / i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet / lead her up the stairwell / this ain't hollywood / this is a small town / i was a dreamer before you went and let me down / now it's too late for you / and your white horse to come around. ❞

                                                                                                            angry too — lola blanc                                                                   ❝ i don't wanna be controlled by the past / boy if you                                                                 were me could you really blame me? / would it make                                                                 you crazy / cause another and another coming up out                                                                  of the gutter / till i'm drowning in an ocean of entitled                                                                   motherfuckers / and they're pushing all my buttons /                                                         but they never seem to wonder why / another and another                                                                  ask each other / does it get your blood boiling / does                                                                 it make you see red? / do you wanna destroy it / does                                                              it get in your head? / cause it gets my blood boiling and                                                       i'm coming unglued / it would hit you like poison if you knew                                                         what i knew / you would be angry too / calm down girl why                                                             you so mad? / why's your heart gone / oh good girl why                                                            you upset? / guess they have forgotten what they did. ❞

dear society — madison beer ❝ diets that i shouldn't try / it feels like social suicide / and honestly, it's cyanide, i'm 'bout to die / been 21 since 17, thanks to all the magazines / man, sometimes, i just wanna scream and break my screen / i'm a natural disaster / but even after all that i do / it's you who's gonna be the death of me / and none of this matters / baby, it's you, it's you / you're bad for my health / i should probably get some help / i can't control myself / i'm addicted to the hell / my heart is getting sick from the tar that's on your lips / yeah, you're bad for my health / you should hurt somebody else. ❞

                                                                                           i did something bad — taylor swift                                                       ❝ i can feel the flames on my skin / crimson red paint on my                                                     lips / if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing / i don't regret                                                       it one bit 'cause he had it coming / they say i did something                                                 bad / then why's it feel so good? / they say i did something bad                                                   / but why's it feel so good? / most fun i ever had / and i'd do it                                                      over and over and over again if i could / it just felt so good. ❞

last night’s mascara — brynn cartelli ❝ that dude i was kissing / nah, he didn't love me / he was on every varsity team / i need a little attention just to forget you / even though tomorrow no one will remember a thing but now / now i still don't understand how / i've got last night's mascara still on my face / i kinda knew that there'd be trouble / but i did it anyway / i swear i used to be innocent / you held my hand / i don't remember how i got here / i don't remember what i said / but i've got last night's mascara / last night's mascara / yeah, i still got last night's mascara on somehow. ❞

                                                                                       villians, part one — emma blackery                                                         ❝ but my body is bored of being torn apart / and i've done                                                               this to myself / so if you're thinking of stealing the last                                                       love i have / then you're thinking of stealing somebody else                                                    / turn the lights down low / if this is how i go / i'll tell them that                                                     the villains on my list / they're what turned me into this / so i'll                                                     go / i'm better off alone / run and tell them that the villains on                                                                    my list / they're the reason i've been pulled so low. ❞

homecoming queen — kelsey ballerini ❝ been so good at smiling / most of your life / look damn good in the dress / zipping up the mess / dancing with your best foot forward / does it get hard to have to play the part? / nobody's feeling sorry for ya / but what if i told you the world wouldn't end / if you started showing what's under your skin / what if you let 'em all in on the lie? / even the homecoming queen cries. ❞

                                                                                                                        castle — halsey                                                         ❝ i'm headed straight for the castle / they wanna make me                                                        their queen / and there's an old man sitting on the throne /                                                  that's saying that i probably shouldn't be so mean / i'm headed                                                 straight for the castle / they've got the kingdom locked up / and                                                  there's an old man sitting on the throne  / that's saying i should                                                    probably keep my pretty mouth shut / straight for the castle. ❞

little girl — faith marie ❝ take a walk, clear your head, breath in, count to ten / cause on the first page of life written in red / you'll never make it here if you don't learn how to bend / don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl / someday you will find your place in the world / but ladies don't get dirty / someday you'll learn to fill the empty space with empty faith. ❞

                                                                                            burn the witch — emma blackery                                                               ❝ i'm a liar, i'm a bitch / and you and i have unfinished                                                               business / narcissistic hypocrite / and i'm petty as hell                                                 but at least i admit it / blow my phone up, say i'm crazy / i know                                                 know what you've called me lately / it's time to burn the witch. ❞

princess — fletcher ❝ we've all been told when we were little / we could grow up and live a fairy tale / but no one ever bothered telling us that / the storybook ending never started out well / why's there always gotta be a hero? / what if cinderella had to save herself? / it's not like we don't need a little help / but maybe it's a good thing to go through a little hell. ❞

                                                                                                            don’t make me — melinda                                                              ❝ never was built to be this way / but turns out the villain                                                            is fun to play / your hollywood romance, extra and sappy,                                                          but / spoiler alert: the ending ain't happy / eggshells crack                                                           beneath your feet / the ugly truth is bittersweet / so dress                                                              it up in fancy clothes / but we both know how this goes                                                                                                  / don't make me be the bad guy. ❞

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x02 commentary

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies​​  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

 Nat : ready?

Zee: Yes

Zee: No

Giulia: Yeah yeah YEAH

Nat : go

Giulia: GOD

Nat : NICE

Zee: Not jack dying again

Giulia: Can they stop making me see Jack dying again

Giulia: That must be a real tiny ass town tho

 Nat : Ah, something's gonna happen

Zee: I read tiny ass and was trying to figure out what it meant

Zee: Really?

Giulia: The fuck is she doing

Nat : Ah Rob

Nat : Is that still in that town?

Zee: That ain’t rob bitch

Nat : Ah yeah

Giulia: There are ALWAYS people who don’t evacuate

Giulia: PRIORITIES

 Nat : Why is she not at the school

Nat : Woo? Woo girls being stabbed and it sounds like this?

Zee: Because she dum

Nat : Who is this

Giulia: AH LOL

Giulia: spelling bee

Nat : An academic ghost

Giulia: thank you NAN

Zee: Nice

Giulia: The chains are already there

Zee: Louder Sam

Nat : lol Sammy

Nat : sHorTlY

Zee: Say it like you mean it sam

Giulia: Shut up

Zee: Cas’s “we're fucked” look

Nat : I'm not their favorite

Nat : snorts

D: So you were a dick to 'em in Hell, huh?

B: No, I did my job. It's Hell. It's not a day spa.

Giulia: well he’s not wrong

Zee: Crowley whiplash

Zee: Poor dean

D: Why are you helping?

Giulia: YEAH why

I told you, I like Hell the way it was. I'm a good soldier.

Can I direct you to Dean’s “surprised” eyebrows at the ‘ I’m a good soldier?’ I think that tell a lot.

Giulia: ESCAPE ATTEMPT

Nat : Dangerous ghosts

Nat : Touble T?

Zee: Jack the Ripper

Nat : Great

Giulia: OH GREAT COOL

Giulia: cool cool cool

Nat : How is Jack the Ripper in the US tho

Zee: Because that’s where the Winchester’s challenged Chuck Nat

Giulia: Idk man...americans likes to have everything

Nat : Claiming ghosts that are not theirs

Giulia: AND of course there must be the stupid humans

Nat : Ah, this reminds me of something

Giulia: Oh look a ghostmeeting

Zee: Claiming ghosts, raising hell. The hell business

Giulia: OH that’s Jack the ripper then

Nat : Apparently MYSTERY SOLVED

Giulia: Where’s the accent

Nat : He apparently adapts

Nat : Wow, that's a great idea to sneak in

Giulia: AH sneeky humans

Zee: WHY?

Giulia: Hope u get killed Stupid fucks

Nat : I can't get over the weird ghosts

Zee: Look at that close up

Giulia: you are so pretty Charles

C: I just think we need to tell the family something. I mean, we found his wife's body.

S: Cass, we will. When we can.

C: When we can?

he’s so done. lol

Nat : The squint of Cas eyes tho

Giulia: always

R: KNOCK KNOCK

Zee: THE QUEEN

R: Am I interrupting something juicy?

Zee: Samuel

R: Castiel ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Giulia: I LOVE THEM

Nat : As if she doesn't want to help

Nat : SAMUEL NO

Giulia: Samuel nou

Zee: Them bow legs

Nat : Dean's hair

Giulia: That stare is so not normal Sam. Please get on with the program

 Nat : I am not entirely happy with these ghosts, honestly

Giulia: Well The ripper is not that bad

Zee: Ketch

Giulia: KETCH

Nat : Ugh

Giulia: what’s that horrible suit tho

Nat : Dean's happy though. He just doesn't know how to show it

I know! he looks a bit happy lol.

but also

I mean...

Nat : Yeah, but that's about it

Giulia: Ketch looks tanned

Giulia: Oh COME ON, can we not

Zee: Asking for single malt whiskey in the middle of the apocalypse. What a queen

Nat : Eyefuck

Zee: Is this awkward or not?

Giulia: They gonna fuk

K: Jack?

B: Um no, I get that a lot

Nat : I get that a lot lol

Giulia: OH SHUT UP

Zee: Now I’m under jacks

Giulia: Oh does ketch knows him

Giulia: OH

Nat : Oh, he is a treat you just don't know it yet

Giulia: Yeah

Zee: What?

Giulia: OH

Nat : Is that Amara

Giulia: HELLO

Nat : Ah

Giulia: AAAH

Zee: WHAT THE FUCK?

Giulia: smite

Nat : I think it's probably the other way round

Nat : He's the darkness

Zee: Game of thrones ending ! Lol

Giulia: NO IT WAS NOT PRETTY GREAT FUCK OFF

Asshole: You said you'd keep us safe.

Zee: Take a deep breath Cas

Giulia: DON T TRY WITH CAS

Nat : The dimples of discontent

R: So, uh, tell me about Arthur Ketch.

Giulia: ROWENA FOCUS

Dean’s not really having it today lol

D: Rowena, we have ourselves a crisis on our hands, okay?  Find yourself another boy toy.

Nat : Boy Toy

Giulia: BOY TOY

Zee: Don’t I ?

Giulia: AHAHAHA

Nat : hey

Giulia: no ok but she really don t

Nat : H E Y

Giulia: AWKWARD

Zee: Dropped the puck

Giulia: oh.......Are we doing this

Nat : Ah great to remind him Cas. Well done

Giulia: Yikes

C: I didn't tell you about Jack, and then after what happened with your mother...

Zee: Yikes

Zee: Shut up

Giulia: YIKES

C: You're angry

Nat : Dean bb

D: This mess... all the messes. It turns out that we're just hamsters running in a wheel our whole lives. What do we have to show for it, huh? Tell me you don't feel conned. God's been lying to you, Cass, forever. You bought into the biggest scam in history.

Giulia: HAMSTERS well he right

C: ou don't think I'm angry? After what Chuck did? After what he took from me?He killed Jack. But that doesn't mean it was all a lie

Zee: Mourning dad

Giulia: Oh no Cass

Giulia: Well he’s not wrong

D: really?

C: Chuck is all-knowing He knew the truth, he... he just kept it to himself.

Nat : Awe Cas

D: Well, now that his cover's blown, everything that we've done is for what? Nothing?

 Zee: Dean is about to snap tho

C: Even if we didn't know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck's machinations, how would we describe it all? We'd call it "life". Because that's precisely what life is. It's an obstacle course, and maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own moves. And mostly, we did well with that.

Giulia: Bb

Nat: Great speech

Giulia: I love it

D: Did we? I'll tell you what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we've lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck. So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice. I can't.

Giulia: DEAN

Nat : I can see Demon!Dean a little

Giulia: dean is MAD

Giulia: M. A. D

Zee: You shut your mouth

C: Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" 

 We are.

Zee: WE ARE

Nat : WE ARE

Giulia: WE ARE

Giulia: MY GOD

Nat : SOBA

Giulia: I HAVE CHILLS

Zee: Ok. I love him

Giulia: GREAT SPEECH

Giulia: *clapping *

I can’t believe that actually happened right in front of my salad

Nat : It's not really ME

Giulia: Oh ok

Nat : snorts

D: You guys didn't come up with a cool weapon for Him, did you?

K: No

K: So, um... Tell me about the witch.

Giulia: NO STOP THAT

Zee: Trouble. Ya think dean? You’re in a town filled with idiots

Giulia: im still in cas’ speech tbh

Zee: Focus

Giulia: IT WAS A GREAT SPEECH

Nat : So can we move away from ghosts in the next ep

Giulia: Yeah I’m already tired of them

Nat : I'm salty we waste two episodes on them

Giulia: what

Zee: What?

Giulia: OH

Giulia: OOOOH

Nat : AH

Zee: Aaaa

Giulia: KEVIIIIIN

Giulia: BB

Giulia: MY BABY

Nat : Hello smalls

Giulia: MY BEAUTIFUL STRESSED BB

Zee: Advanced placement

Giulia: wasn’t he in HEAVEN

Giulia: oh great

Giulia: BITCH

Nat : DEAN IS PISSED

Giulia: FUCK HIM

Nat : Dean? I try

Giulia: NO GOD

Giulia: FOCUS NAT

Zee: God’s a dick

Nat : GOD CAN SUCK MY DICK

Giulia: well Amara seems calm

Nat : Ah, that's the oriental room we saw once on IG

Nat : She's not

Zee: She really isn’t

Giulia: Oh look he wanna tap out

Giulia: AHAHAHAH HE ANNOYED HIS SISTER

Nat : It's not you. She knows

Zee: He’s buttering her up

Nat : I thought she was lil sis?

Giulia: Oh what if he needs her for his new project

Zee: The cogs are turning

Giulia: OH HE IS HURT

Nat : I hope that they won't fuck

Giulia: what

Giulia: HEY COME ON

Zee: Nat!! Ffs

Giulia: IT’S 8:30

Zee: It’s not a time thing Giuls

Nat : We are watching SPN at 8.30 what does that say about us.

 Nat : We will be salty the whole da

Giulia: we like pain

B: I guess I just assumed you two pros woulda wrapped it up by now.

Nat : Whiny Kevin?

Nat : Shut up

Giulia: Typical millenial

Giulia: ...WHAT

Giulia: omg

Nat : No, it's actually Gen Z

Zee: What?

Giulia: NICE

Zee: Bitches focus

Giulia: but also

Giulia: ....I DON T LIKE THAT

Nat : Ah great

Nat : Like we all don't worry at all

 Nat : So sick of ghosts UGH

Giulia: oh remember those scenes in the season trailer with dean being conflicted and sad with the colt?

Nat : U

Nat : G

Nat : H

Giulia: SNORTS

Zee: Yeah. Don’t !!

Nat : stop

Giulia: they all know Kevin Tran

Nat : I think it's universal that ghosts knows each other

Giulia: Sam and dean

Giulia: Sam and dean

Giulia: US

Giulia: Our chat is hell lol

Zee: Thanks

Ketch and Rowena flirting again

Giulia: I DON T CARE ABOUT THOSE TWO. UGH WHY IS THERE ORG CHEM

Nat : I AM CONFUSED

Zee: Is this gonna be Ketcena?

Giulia: HATE THAT. Hate all of that. So much

Nat : I swear if we are still stuck in the ghost town by ep 3 I'm gonna flip a fucking table

Giulia: Is this flirting

Zee: Dean is cockblocking for once

Nat : He knew

Giulia: he feels these things

Nat : Ah, they know each other

Giulia: WHY THEY ALL KNOW EACHOTHER

Also Rowena needs to revaluate her standards 

Giulia: what is this

Zee: We’ve established that

Nat : Hey, don't insult Marry Poppins you fuck

Nat : Great

Giulia: ....

Nat : Have I mentioned that I hate ghosts

Giulia: Wow that was lame

Nat : What is this episode

Giulia: Ghosts

Nat : It's lame

Giulia: Why can he do that

Giulia: This is the last we see Kevin

Giulia: Just realized

Giulia: I don t wanna

Giulia: Awe Dean

Zee: Excuse me while I drool a bit

Nat : Meh

Zee: What?

Giulia: Of course

Zee: Oh fuck

Nat : I saw that he wasn't wearing the chain

Giulia: How they took it out tho

Giulia: GREAT

Nat : I'm so not into the episode

Giulia: yeah It s weak

Nat : Both of them were tbh

Giulia: WHY DO I HAVE ADS

Giulia: FUCK

Zee: Yah me too 

Nat : This might be unpopular opinion

Giulia: well it’ll pick up

Nat : Idc

Zee: But is the ghost thing over?

Giulia: 🤷🏼‍♀

Nat : But it makes me mad that we waste 2 episodes

Giulia: Tiny smile

Giulia: KEVIN

Nat : The eyebrow

Giulia: IM SO ANGRY

Nat : Look at the eyebrow

Zee: Relax your forehead Sam

Giulia: SANGRY

Zee: Is that eyebrow stuck?

Giulia: can relate

Giulia: IMMA CRY

Nat : Shut up Belphy

Nat : LOVE YOU GUYS

Giulia: KEVIN BB

Giulia: LOVE U GUYS

Giulia: SOBS

Giulia: SOOOB

Giulia: I love you kevin

Giulia: OH NO

Zee: Oh fuck Oooooffff

Giulia: IS THIS THE FIRST OF THE GOODBYES?

Nat : I feel Amara Amara is my spirit animal

Giulia: You sing backup

Giulia: Oooooooh burn

bUT HEY , maybe Amara will be one of those rare females on spn to not die

Zee: I kinda like her now

Giulia: I’m done chuck

Zee: Petulant

Giulia: Petulant narcissist

Giulia: Oh can Amara seal his ass away

 Giulia: AH SUCKS FOR U

Nat : We'll still be stuck in ghost town next ep aren't we

Zee: Ya think Rowena ?

Nat : Ugh eyes twitch

Giulia: Well it is the major problem

Giulia: TRAILER TIME

after 

Nat : Yeah

Nat : GREAT

Giulia: ...

Giulia: OH NO

Giulia: NOPE

Giulia: NOOOPE

Giulia: NOPE

Giulia: SAM CRYING

Giulia: NO

Giulia: I HATE IT

Zee: WHAT WAS THAT?

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Zee: Like

Giulia: NO

Zee: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Nat : I'm salty

Giulia: IM ALREADY CRYING

Giulia: Please, It’s too soon for Rowena come on

Giulia: Nat

Giulia: HARD NOPE

Zee: Fuck off

Giulia: HATE IT

Giulia: HATE IIIIIIIT Next episode is canceled

Zee: Like, get in the mood for next ep

Giulia: What next ep?

Zee: We both know we’re gonna be there

Giulia: The next one is 15x04

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