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mytwilightimagines13 · 5 years

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Size doesn’t matter, buddy (Felix Volturi) part 2

Word count: 2039 You made your flight with mere seconds to spare, and then the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled so casually up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed. Alice's hand was placed on Bella’s shoulder, holding her in her seat while she bounced anxiously up and down. "It's faster than running," she reminded her in a low voice. Bella just nodded in time with her bouncing, making you roll her eyes. Humans, you never fully got them anymore.

At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness. Alice lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of her before you'd stopped climbing, turning her back on the stewardess who eyed her with disapproval. Something about Bella’s expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest, making you chuckle. “If looks could kill, right Bella?” you said, giving her a playful smirk, earning you a glare from the human. You chuckled louder and held your hands up in defence, turning your head to look outside the window, listening to what Alice was murmuring to Jasper. "I can't be sure, I keep seeing him do different things, he keeps changing his mind. A killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square, mostly things that would expose them. He knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction." You rolled your eyes. Really? There was nothing more original he could do? "No, you can't." Alice's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible. "Tell Emmett no. Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back. Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?" She nodded. "Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance, if there is a chance I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren't good." She laughed then, and there was a catch in her voice. "I've thought of that. Yes, I promise." Her voice became pleading. "Don't follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out. And I love you." She hung up, and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed. "I hate lying to him." "Tell me everything, Alice," Bella begged. "I don't understand. Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett, why can't they come help us?" "Two reasons," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "The first I told him. We could try to stop Edward ourselves if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll throw a car through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down. "That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and the Volturi kill Edward, they'll fight them. Bella." She opened her eyes and stared at Bella, beseeching. "If there were any chance we could win if there were a way that the five of us could save my brother by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and, Bella, I can't lose Jasper like that." You bit your lip. Even though you were the strongest of the Cullens, even stronger than Emmett, you knew you didn’t stand a chance against their other gifts. Bella truly was the only way to save your brother. Alice was protecting Jasper, at your expense, and maybe at Edward's, too. Bella nodded. "Couldn't Edward hear you, though.'" She asked. "Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?" "If he were listening," she explained. "But believe it or not, it's possible to lie with your thoughts. If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking 'she's alive, she's alive' as hard as I could. He knows that." Bella grounded her teeth in mute frustration. "If there were any way to do this without you, Bella, I wouldn't be endangering you like this. It's very wrong of me.” "Don't be stupid. I'm the last thing you should be worrying about." Bella shook her head impatiently. "Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie to Jasper." Alice smiled a grim smile. "I promised him I would get out before they killed me, too. It's not something I can guarantee not by a long shot." She raised her eyebrows. "Who are these Volturi?" Bella demanded in a whisper. "What makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, (Y/N) and you?" You took a deep breath, deciding to mend into the conversation, while Alice abruptly levelled a dark glance over Bella’s shoulder. You turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to us. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While Bella stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer and very conspicuously put headphones on. Bella leaned closer to you. Your lips were at her ears as you breathed the story, trying to not be distracted by the blood that flowed through her veins, which made the fire in your throat burn.

"I was surprised that you recognized the name," you said. "That you understood so immediately what it meant when Alice said he was going to Italy. I thought we would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?" You asked. "He just said they were an old, powerful family like royalty. That you didn't antagonize them unless you wanted to die," she whispered. "You have to understand," you said, your voice slower, more measured now. "We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It's abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace. It's the same for Tanya's family in the north, and Carlisle speculates that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilized, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience. Even James's little coven of three was unusually large and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone, or in pairs, as a general rule. Carlisle's family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know, with the one exception. The Volturi.” You said, watching Alice closely for any signs any of the other humans tried to listen in on the conversation. “There were three of them originally, Aro, Caius, and Marcus." You continued. "I've seen them," Bella mumbled. "In the picture in Carlisle's study." You nodded. "Two females joined them over time, and the five of them make up the family. I'm not sure, but I suspect that their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together. They are well over three thousand years old. Or maybe it's their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward and Alice, Aro and Marcus are talented." You continued before Bella could ask. "Or maybe it's just their love of power that binds them together. Royalty is an apt description." "But if there are only five." "Five that make up the family," you corrected. "That doesn't include their guard." Bella took a deep breath. "That sounds serious." "Oh, it is," you assured her. "There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time we heard. Others are more transitory. It changes. And many of them are gifted as well with formidable gifts, gifts that make what Alice can do look like a parlour trick. The Volturi chose them for their abilities, physical or otherwise." Bella opened her mouth, and then closed it. "They don't get into too many confrontations. No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls." "Duty?" Bella wondered. "Didn't Edward tell you what they do?" you asked, wondering how much your brother actually told the human sitting next to you. "No," Bella said, a blank expression on her face. Alice looked over Bella’s head again, toward the businessman, nodding towards you to keep on talking. "There's a reason he called them royalty the ruling class. Over the millennia, they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfil that duty decisively." Bella’s eyes popped wide with shock. "There are rules?" she asked in a voice that was too loud. "Shh!" Alice said. "Shouldn't somebody have mentioned this to me earlier?" Bella whispered angrily. "I mean, I wanted to be a- to be one of you! Shouldn't somebody have explained the rules to me?" You chuckled once at her reaction. "It's not that complicated, Bella. There's only one core restriction and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself." You said, letting her think about it for a moment. "Nope, I have no idea." You groaned in annoyance. She was supposed to be clever. Cleary not. "Maybe it's too obvious. We just have to keep our existence a secret." Alice explained, clearly having more patience than you did at the moment. "Oh," Bella mumbled. "It makes sense, and most of us don't need policing," you continued. "But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. I don't know. And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us." You continued. "So Edward-" "Is planning to flout that in their own city the city they've secretly held for three thousand years, since the time of the Etruscans. They are so protective of their city that they don't allow hunting within its walls. Volterra is probably the safest city in the world from vampire attack at the very least." You filled in. "But you said they didn't leave. How do they eat?" Bella asked. "They don't leave. They bring in their food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do when they're not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure." "From situations like this one, like Edward," Bella finished yout sentence. "I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," Alice muttered, disgusted. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires." The sound that escaped out of Bella’s mouth was very quiet, but Alice seemed to understand that it was a cry of pain. She wrapped her thin, strong arm around her shoulders, while you leant back against your seat, watching the clouds pass by. "We'll do what we can, Bella. It's not over yet." "Not yet." "And the Volturi will get us if we mess up." Alice stiffened. "You say that like it's a good thing." Bella shrugged. "Knock it off, Bella, or we're turning around in New York and going back to Forks." You threatened. "What?" Bella shrieked. "You know what. If we're too late for Edward, I'm going to do my damnedest to get you back to Charlie, and I don't want any trouble from you. Do you understand that?" Alice threatened, knowing what you were doing. "Sure, Alice." Alice pulled back slightly so that she could glare at Bella. "No trouble." "Scout's honor," Bella muttered. I rolled my eyes. "Let me concentrate, now. I'm trying to see what he's planning." Alice said letting her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes. She pressed her free hand to the side of her face, rubbing her fingertips against her temple. The minutes passed, and if you didn't know better, it would have seemed as if she'd fallen asleep. After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward New York City. Alice remained in her trance. Bella dithered, reaching out to touch her, only for you to pull her hand back again. This happened a dozen times before the plane touched down with a jarring impact.

#felix volturi #demetri volturi #twilight #twilight imagine #volturi #jane volturi #Caius Volturi #aro volturi #volturi imagine #cullen

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kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 · 6 years

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Roadie

I want to thank the lovely @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles she helped me so much with this story and fine tuning it also she has become such a great friend so as I am posting this if everyone can go check out her stories God Is A Woman or Girls Talk Boys that’d be wonderful they’re awesome stories who deserve to be seen.

Ashton didn’t know how it had ended up like this. In the beginning, he was happy ready to take on anything this lifestyle threw at him, but after 2 years of living in Los Angeles he found himself feeling lost and empty. If it wasn’t someone’s birthday party, it was a club opening or any excuse to party really. Another night with another random girl who’s name he’d already forgotten, he could never shake the dreadful feeling of loneliness. He knew why he was unhappy but didn’t know how to fix it.

It helped a bit to try and run away from his problems, at least physically. His feet pounding out a rhythm on pavement, getting lost in his thoughts, drowning out with whatever music was on shuffle on his phone. He drove out to Runyon Canyon Park and slipped his earbuds in and took off. He got lost in the music a bit too seriously and ended up in a part of the trail that was unfamiliar to him. Now he had to find his way out of the woods with only his car keys and no phone service. He was cursing at himself for being so stupid. So he closed his eyes, breathing deeply and counting to ten, trying to regain his focus. He ran his fingers through his unruly brown curls when he heard a faint noise behind him that sounded like whining. Trying not to get even more lost he went to follow the noise. The only problem was every time he would get closer it would sound like something was running from him.

After about 15 minutes of chasing he sees a clearing ahead and beyond the the familiar trail he had wandered off of. Looking back he sees a very dirty and very malnourished beagle puppy slowly edging his way towards him. Leaning on one knee he carefully reaches his hand out to the little pup. When his head was about an inch away from his hand he lifted his face into Ashton’s palm. The puppy was in an awful state, and Ashton didn’t really know much about dogs. They were going on tour in a couple weeks so there’s no way he could take on this kind of responsibility. Looking down at literal puppy dog eyes was just too much for him to take, he picked the little guy up and as soon as he got in the car he called Calum to ask what vet he took Duke to and Calum told him the address and said he’d meet them there. Once Ashton pulls into the parking lot he sees Calum smoking a cigarette by his all black Range Rover.

Once they get inside the building and signed in Ashton can finally take a good look at what the puppy looks like. The dog is white with light and dark brown spots from what Ashton could tell he has little to no hair and is skin and bones. Calum looks at Ashton and says “ what are you going to do with him?” Ashton looks at Calum and replies “ I’m going to see what the vet says and go from there” . The vet walks out calls out “Mr.Irwin” they follow her to the back and then she starts her examination she could tell that the poor little guy has a skin infection that can be cleared with skin ointment. But she also told Ashton that because the handsome pup is so skinny he’ll have to eat twice a day and give him special vitamins through food. Once they left the veterinarian's office Ashton started thinking about how to take care of a dog but at the moment when he pulled into the petsmart to get everything a puppy would need the thought of if he should keep him was still on his mind.

Once they were home Ashton set up everything for the dirty pup to get a bath, a towel, the special shampoo,one of Ashton’s favorite bandanas, a black and white one that says 5 Seconds Of Summer on it,and a small cup to rinse off the dirt and mud. He began to lather his hands with the shampoo and rub it into the dogs skin while he was checking everything over looking for any hot spots.

Once Ashton deemed the puppy clean he got the towel he bought in with him and got him out of the tub and started to dry him off. After Ashton dried him off and the pup rubbed himself all over the carpet, he put the cream and his bandana on his foster dog before deciding to go to bed. While he was changing into a clean pair of boxer briefs he could feel eyes on him so he looked behind him and saw the little puppy waiting patiently in the doorway of his room. Ashton scratched the dog on his head and told him good night and got tucked in himself and turned off all the lights. Just as he was drifting off he felt the puppy squeezing into his arms to feel his warmth.

Flash forward two weeks and he'd named the brown and black spotted pup Roadie, and gotten the dog a collar with a name tag even though he keeps the bandana around his neck. Roadie had made significant improvement, his skin was clearing up enough that he’s not itching so badly anymore. Anytime Ashton is tired or just lounging around Roadie climbs on top of Ashton’s chest and sighs in contentment. He’ll also follow Ashton into his music room and bounce around barking to the beat of his drumming. Ashton takes him running with him at Runyon Canyon He finds himself staying home most nights not feeling the need to drink the night away or lose himself in another pretty face.

Their tour manager, Donna, isn't happy when Ashton informs her he's bringing Roadie on the bus with them. Ashton can't stand the thought of being without his little guy, and, as he explains, Roadie is still on a special diet and will need all the attention he can get. The day came to get loaded onto the bus so Ashton made sure he had everything for Roadie a leash, ointment, dog food, dog treats, several chew toys, a dog bed, and a blanket specifically just for his little man. The boys had been on the bus for a little over a three weeks and Ashton had found himself a routine of having his headphones in to keep from hearing the remarks Donna their manager would make about Roadie. The only time he wouldn’t be wearing them is to bed but in all honesty he didn’t care to Ashton. Roadie was family and he should be treated as such. As for Roadie he had also found company in not only Ashton but the other guys as well they loved having a dog on the tour because it kept their minds at ease. But all of them found that when Roadie was done playing or running around he would be near Ashton at all times.

Ashton started an Instagram page for Roadie posting pictures of his precious beagle on stage in another city, with fans outside the venue, or by a landmark. There was a tour date in St. Petersburg the guys were getting ready for the show Roadie was running around Ashton and the drum kit. Michael had forgotten his ears and he was walking past one of the green rooms when he overheard Donna talking about Roadie, pausing by the door he saw Sierra with an annoyed look on her face.

“Look this is just ridiculous, he should've given the little fleabag away before this whole thing even started,” Donna griped.

Michael was about to step in but Sierra was quick. She was off the couch and in Donna's face “ if you had any decency in your heart you would see how happy Ashton is. That little “fleabag” running around onstage right now is the reason. We’re all happy because of that dog you’re a heartless woman you should be fired” when Sierra was done speaking she was seething. Michael just smiled and went and got his ears and went back onstage and saw Roadie in Ashton’s lap kissing him all over his face.

It was time for them to get on stage and Ashton told Roadie to be a good boy and listen to Sierra while he was scratching him all on his back. The intro was beginning so he kissed Roadies head and passed his leash off to Sierra. Looking back he saw Sierra and Luke kissing and while he was happy with his beloved dog he wished he had a woman to share the happiness with. Every once in awhile when he has a break he looks over to the side of the stage to see Sierra and Roadie jamming out, his pup bouncing to the beat.

Ashton was just getting out of the shower grabbing a clean shirt when he heard Roadie starting to whine. As they returned to the green room Roadie bolted for the door. Ashton ran after him grabbing Roadies leash, but stumbling as he did. He hit the ground hard, wincing as he rolled onto his side. Ashton saw Roadie standing next to a pair of pink Converse high tops. Looking up he saw the most gorgeous girl with blue eyes, dark blue hair,and a flawless complexion, curvy in all the right places and looking quite concerned.

When he went to grab Roadie and apologize to her she stopped him. said “No worries I love dogs and this little guy is too cute. Roadie's a cute name, very inventive” Ashton hopped up and extended his hand “I'm Ashton by the way.”

She shook his hand laughing, “yes I'm aware my name is Tanya and it’s nice to meet you.”

#ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford #calum hood imagine #calum hood #5sos imagine #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings #beagle #adoption #love

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c-j-writes · 5 years

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Fictober 2019

Prompt #4 “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

[Untitled Gay Mess]

Rating: T

Warnings/Tags: Will involve drug abuse in later chapters

Chapter Four

The field was bright and welcoming under the afternoon sun. I breathed in the fresh scent of cut grass, feeling the restless energy tingling in my feet and my legs. It had been too long since I’d been on a field- since I’d even played. Even when I’d spend days at summer school, I would go home and practice for hours. This summer was the first that soccer became less of a priority than it has been for the past half of my life. The first time in a while that I let something else be important to me.

Nonetheless, it was refreshing to be back. Not all of my teammates were stoked over the idea of extra practice, so I didn't make it mandatory. At least five of the girls still met me after school ready to run drills anyway. These were my favorite teammates. Not just because they showed up today. They're always here, always committed, just as much as I am. They're the ones who have the sport running through their veins and are ready to throw everything they've got towards it. At least three of them have been on the team since freshman year with me, so at this point, we're basically family.

Darian dropped the mesh bag of soccer balls that she had picked up from the equipment room in front of me. Her face split into a grin and she breathed in dramatically.

"God, I missed the sweet smell of sweat and dirt," she said, stepping over to drape her arm across my shoulders. "It has been too long, Andy, too long." I scoff.

"You say that every year, D," Kim commented as she picked up a ball and started juggling it with her knees. The rest of the girls shuffled forward, making odd comments about not having practiced for most of the summer.

"Andy's probably laughing at all of us, doesn't she always practice twenty-four-seven over the break?" Liv asked, bumping me in the shoulder with her own. I smiled, rubbing the back of my neck. Before I could correct her, Kim jumped in.

“Not just over the break, please, she practices morning noon night every day of the year. Why else do you think she’s so damn good?”

“Cause it runs in her family,” Hailey said.

With a laugh under my breath, I stepped in, “Actually, I haven’t practiced much since last school year. You know, took a summer off before the big year.” Sure, that wasn’t my intention. I had planned to practice at least three times a week for the last three months. I just got a little distracted and never seemed to get around to it. But this explanation sounds better.

“Wow, the King here hasn’t been practicing? Did the world stop turning and I didn’t notice?” Hailey snickered. Tanya, who was standing behind her, smiled a bit but stayed quiet.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, let’s just get to work.” I rolled my eyes and picked up a ball.

We ran drills for about an hour before taking a break in the only shade on the field, underneath the bleachers. There were a few wooden crates that some seniors from a couple of years back had dragged under there and we rested around them. The sun peaked through a few breaks in the metal, enough to give us some patches of light. The wind blew aimlessly through some trees surrounding the field, making the leaves shimmer.

I sat on one of the crates with Darian leaning against it between my legs. She rested her head on my thigh and every once in awhile I’d drag my hand subconsciously through her hair. I wanted to try to french braid it, but I hadn’t done that in years so I wasn’t sure if I remembered.

Across the makeshift circle, Hailey sat with Liv, mirroring our stance. They were laughing over some stupid stories from their summer. Hailey glanced over at me and gave me this exciting look.

“Dude, we should have a team night at someone’s house and have a movie marathon,” she suggested. As much as I loved the idea of hanging out with the team, when I heard her mention a movie night, I tensed. Absently, I kept a smile on my face and nodded. My mind tried to drift back again, but I wouldn’t let it this time. Not here. God, definitely not here.

“Totally, we need to get together more, I mean for most of us this is our last year,” Darian said. I nodded again like I was some bobblehead just following along.

Liv leaned over and punched Tanya lightly in the arm. “Yeah, then we’ve gotta leave the team to you kids.”

“God, next year’s gonna be so weird, like you guys are my hookup to all the good parties,” Kim mentioned. I glanced over at Tanya, who’d barely said three words today.

“Speaking of,” I jumped in, “why hasn’t anyone informed me that T didn’t go to a single party last year?” She looked up, her eyes widening at first and then calming down, a blush creeping onto her face.

“What?” Hailey looked down at the younger girl. “I swear I invited you out.”

“You did, don’t worry, parties just aren’t my thing,” Tanya commented, looking down at the dirt underneath her.

“How can parties not be your thing, they’re like everybody’s thing?” Liv laughed.

“Honestly, like there’s so much to do and most of the time, you get free booze,” Darian said.

Tanya rolled her eyes, “I’d just rather spend my time hanging out with a couple of friends or the team than stand around some crowded house with a bunch of drunk guys.” She wrung her wrists between her fingers. “Plus, I don’t drink, so…”

“Wait, you don’t drink? Drinking is like the best part of high school, plus what are you gonna do when you go to college?” Kim asked.

“I don’t know, maybe focus on school. Hang out with friends?” Tanya’s face was getting pink from the attention being on her for so long. I felt kind of bad for throwing her to the wolves like that, but she was part of the team, she should be comfortable talking to us.

“Okay, you have to get drunk at these parties, once you get drunk, all the guys around here actually start looking cute,” Darian mentioned, drinking some water from her bottle. I chuckled along with the other girls, I’d never found any of the guys around town cute, but I also chalked that up to this town is full of ugly guys. College would probably be different. Tanya laughed, looking back at the ground again.

Looking at my phone, I figured now would be a good time to save T from further interrogation. “Come on, guys, let’s get back out there.” Darian didn’t start moving, so I stood up and let her head fall back and bang on the crate. She cursed at me as I walked away snickering. The girls followed me, all of us a bit slow from our bones settling into the rest.

Just as we reached the field again, I heard someone calling my name. Turning around, I found Coach Faye approaching the field, holding her hand above her eyes to block the sun. She waved me over with her free hand and started walking to the entrance to the gym, where her office was.

“Hey, I gotta go talk to Coach, take over for me?” I asked Darian. She nodded and I jogged to catch up with the woman.

When we reached her office, Coach had me sit down in the seat across from her desk. I’d been in her office many times, to discuss the team tryouts and plan events and even just to talk. The first time I’d been in there was when she asked me to be team captain for the first year. The room felt warm and welcoming. There were trophies and award plaques littering the walls and surfaces and team pictures dating back to the 70s. Everything was familiar. The only thing that looked any different was Coach’s face. She had a look that was something between a grimace and a stern face. It made me nervous.

“Andy, how have you been?” She asked. Her face softened, but not enough to make the tension in my shoulders lessen.

“Pretty good, I wanted to make sure and have some extra practice before the season, make sure we were all up to par,” I explained, thinking maybe Darian forgot to ask her if we could use the field and the training balls.

“Good, that’s good.” She nodded. “Listen, Andy, I know in the past you’ve had a bit of an issue with keeping up your academic life.” She shifted some papers around on her desk as if this was hard for her to talk about. I stayed silent, letting her finish her speech and get to the point. “And I know you put in a lot of effort last year to do so.” She had a habit of breaking up her lectures and taking pauses every few words. I don’t know if it was something they teach you in education courses or what, but I did know it was annoying. “I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m worried for you this year. With this being a very important season coming up, one that could decide your future, I just want to make sure that there won’t be any bumps in the road by the time we get to start practices.” Coach tipped her head towards me, which meant she was ready for me to reply.

“You mean my grades? Because I’ve never dropped below a 2.0, I swear.” I might not be the brightest kid, but I knew enough to make sure I could stay on the team.

“Yes, but I don’t think you’re considering that recruiters look at those grades as well. The athletic world is going through some changes since I went to college. They want strong and smart players, and not just on the field. I just want to make sure that you get every opportunity possible.”

My mind was trying to catch up with this new information. I mean, yeah, I knew that grades were a factor, they always are. I just didn’t know they’d be that big of a deal. I always assumed that I had the skill to not worry about the technical stuff. I mean, my performance has always spoken for itself. I’m the first sophomore in this county to beat out all of the upperclassmen for team captain. And I defended that position for almost three years now. I’ve led the team to nationals two years running and I’m planning on making it there again. My achievements should have been able to get me into the best soccer programs in the country. But now that could be for nothing because of some stupid math and science grades?

“I thought I was doing good?” My voice felt weak. I was trying to stop my head from spinning because this should be something I could calm down and deal with. If Darian were in this position, she’d be fine. She was always more level headed than me, that’s why we made such a good team on the field.

“Your performance on the team has been extraordinary and I’m sure it will continue to be this year. I just can’t be sure that it will carry you where you want to go unless you bring up your grades.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I busted my ass last year trying to boost my grades and I still just barely scraped by.” I was getting annoyed. My fingers started tapping on the arm of the chair. I tried taking a deep breath, but it just came out shakey.

“Well, there are a few options, but I think the best, for now, would be to sign you up for the tutoring program we have on campus.” My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“We have a tutoring program?” Coach nodded, already clicking away on her computer.

“I can sign you up and get your meeting time and one of the tutors can sit down with you and give you someone on one help with your work. Sometimes a change of teaching style or simply a peer teacher can help you learn the information easier.” I wasn’t following everything she was saying, but I nodded along anyway. Whatever was easier I’d take, I didn’t need this to fuck up everything I’ve worked for. “There, you’re signed up, you’ll be getting an email to confirm and set up a time that would work for you and your tutor.” Coach stood up, so I did the same. My legs felt wobbly, but I tried to ignore it.

“Thank you,” I mumbled. I was trying not to look as shaken as I felt, but I knew it wasn’t working. Coach looked down at me and smiled, her eyes soft.

“Andy, I know you’re going to do great. Don’t let this worry you, you’re going to be fine. Your mother had the same mindset as you, who needs academics when the sport comes so easy.” Coach Faye had been coaching for decades. She coached my mom in her high school years. She was the one who pushed her towards professional soccer. Once I got to high school, she took me under her wing in a sense, since my mom hadn’t been there. It usually just made me feel like I was standing in shoes I’d never be able to fill, though. “I know you didn’t ask for this, sweetheart,” she said, lifting her hand to squeeze my shoulder.

My head was still spinning a bit and I didn’t trust my voice, so I just nodded. She let me out of her office to go back and practice. The air outside hit my lungs and I immediately felt just a bit calmer. That room had started feeling suffocating, so the fresh air helped.

When I reached the field, the girls were shooting penalties. I smiled at Darian filling in as goalie since ours was absent. For a second, I stayed on the sidelines and just watched. This team had been my pride and joy for three years. Every minute was spent thinking about the team and our strategies and our games. After this summer, I was already finding it hard to get my head back in the game for once. Now, this. It was like the universe was trying to make it as hard as possible for me to stay focused.

Kim scored and I could hear Darian’s curse from where I was standing. As the younger player jumped around in celebration, she caught sight of me and yelled my names, waving me over enthusiastically. I smiled and shook my head, jogging over to them.

“Hey, King, what’d Coach have to say?” Darian asked, carrying the ball over to the group of us.

As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew I didn’t want to tell them. I was the captain, I was supposed to have my shit together. I didn’t want to let them know that I was such a dumbass in class. “Just went over some scheduling stuff.” I smiled, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. I could feel Darian staring at me, she knew I was lying. Before she could call me out, though, I said, “Hey, let’s play a little two on two, yeah?”

We decided that being the only lower classmen present, Kim and Tanya would be goalies. Darian and I called each other as teammates, but the rest of the girls agreed that wouldn’t be a fair competition, so we split up. Tanya, Liv, and I made up one team, with Darian, Hailey, and Kim against us.

As soon as we started, Darian and I turned it into an all-out war between the two of us. We’d always been competitive on the team, being rivals in freshman year and having friendly games ever since. As soon as one of us had the ball, the other would block her. Liv had the ball for a few seconds and my mind came back to my tutoring situation. I’d never had a tutor before, but I always thought of it as a stupid arrangement. I’ll just get another kid who’s super smart to come in and tell me how stupid I am. I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Liv passed the ball to me and I took off with it when Darian blocked me and we faced off for a few seconds, she commented, “You look like your head is in the clouds, what’s up?” I didn’t answer her, instead, I took off around her towards the goal. Just as I was about to shoot, she came up beside me and stole the ball. In the process, I overestimated a step and stumbled onto my ankle.

I went down hard, feeling pain shooting up through my leg and back down to simmer where my foot met my calf. A strangled yelp left my lips as I rolled to my back. My eyesight was rimmed with white, hot pain. It felt like my ankle was on fire. Darian reached me first, kneeling down to grab my hand and check on me.

“Go get Coach Faye,” she yelled to one of the girls. I couldn’t tell which one, I wasn’t looking too far past my ankle. Darian squeezed my hand and I found her eyes. She was murmuring something to me, probably trying to comfort me. All I could focus on was the pain shooting from my foot and her voice somehow making its way into my ear.

#fictober19 #my ocs #original story #untitled gay mess #prompt 4

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ditty-diego · 6 years

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Neztalk

An interview with Ken Sharp, 1989

In March, Michael Nesmith spent a couple weeks in New York City doing a series of interviews with the media to promote the New York opening of his latest production, “Tapeheads”. Besides promoting “Tapeheads”, Michael is having one of his most visible, high-profile years in a long, long time, with the recent release of a video and album and the impending release of another album and the “Overview” video magazine. Rock radio reporter (and MBF member) Ken Sharp had the opportunity to interview Michael and he shares that interview with us here:

KS: I know you’re asked this question all the time, so let’s get it out of the way right off. When are you going to get back together with … The First National Band?

MN: Well, yeah, that’s the most common question that I’m asked actually. Most people come up to me and say, “Say, whatever happened to the other guys?” and I know immediately that they’re talking about John London and Red Rhodes and John Ware. I mean, who else would they be talking about?

KS: What is Red Rhodes up to, by the way?

MN: Well, you know, I’ve lost contact with all those guys. John London moved back to Teas. He’s working, I think, in the real estate business or something and Red Rhodes I haven’t talked to. I assume that he still plays. I got a call from one of his family — his ex-sister-in-law — the other day and I called her back and she left the wrong number so I wasn’t able to get in touch with her. And John Ware, I think, moved to Nashville and is working in the radio business in Nashville.

KS: April 5 marks the release of “Nezmusic” …

MN: Oh, really? Is that when it’s coming out?

KS: I think it is. I was curious, some of this stuff came out in different forms, but why now? What was the idea behind compiling it? Were there a lot of requests or what?

MN: Yeah, well, it was just a combination of requests. I get a lot of fan mail from the Monkees fan clubs and stuff. And almost every single letter requests for me to put out the old music. What I did was I went back to the archives and over the years I’ve made a couple of dozen albums, I guess, and the first ten that I made are still under the auspices of RCA, but there were about 4 or 5 that I made subsequent to that beginning with a record called “The Prison”. So Harold Bronson over at Rhino Records called me up and he says, “let’s put out, let’s go back and re-license…” That’s kind of their business, you know, And I said, “Harold, I don’t think anybody’s gonna play any of my records.” And he says, “Well, we specialize in marketing records that don’t get played.” So I compiled two LP’s. One was an LP which was to be songs from the country sort of era, with the First, Second, Third National Bands, and the second which was to include things off “Radio Engine” and “Infinite Rider” but also half a dozen songs that I wrote for a movie called “Video Ranch”. And divided them up into “The Older Stuff” which was the country stuff and “The Newer Stuff”. So “The Newer Stuff” was the only thing we were able to get out because we had licensing problems on “The Older Stuff”. So we could only get one of them out. And when I put together “The Newer Stuff” I realized that I had music videos on seven or eight of them and I had also been getting a lot of requests to combine all those music videos on one videocassette, so I put it together and called it “Nezmusic”.

KS: Wasn’t “Video Ranch” called something different? “Neon” something?

MN: “Neon Ruby”.

KS: Why was that project not completed?

MN: Well, the biggest reason is that I was not able to interest a distributor in releasing it. That’s the biggest reason. Had I been able to do that it would have gone forward. The creative elements were there, but it’s a movie musical and, like “Tapeheads”, these things are tough. Number one, they’re very hard to do creatively and, number two, they’re hard to market. However, I think we’re about to enter into the time when we’re going to see more and more of those, so keep your fingers crossed. Maybe “Video Ranch” will come out. (laughs)

KS: It’s nice to see unreleased tracks like “Tanya” and “Formosa Diner” will see the light of day.

MN: Did you get a pre-copy of this?

KS: No, I didn’t.

MN: Did you see the liner notes, or what?

KS: No, I’m a pretty big fan, besides what I do for a living, so I did a lot of research.

MN: Sounds like you’ve been on Lexus Nexus or one of those online services.

KS: Will you release any videos for the Rhino early material? Something like “Joanne” that you never did a video for to promote it?

MN: Till you said it I hadn’t thought of it. Maybe it’s a good idea. I don’t know. Do you think it would be a good idea to go back and do old songs? Creatively, do you really? I don’t know, because I think of the video as a form and there is such a thing as an audio-only record. Can you imagine a video of “Joanne”, takes a picture of a beautiful woman in a filmy dress living in a house by a pond? It starts to get kind of dumb. (laughs) The emotion it evokes is different. When I wrote “Rio” I really had a picture in mind, although I didn’t realize at the time that it was gonna father an entire way of life, but I did sort of have in mind that this would make something nice to put on film. Then when Island asked me to make a promotional clip to send overseas and I did it, you know, it all married up nicely. But to go bac and do it … maybe I’ll write some stuff. Best I should do “Video Ranch”, I think.

KS: Do you still write songs? Do you still play the guitar.

MN: Yeah. Not a lot, but I still do it.

KS: Will we see new material from you? Not as an audio album, but as a combination?

MN: Yeah, I’d do that.

KS: There is a demand. I’d love to hear it and so would a lot of other people.

MN: You know, the biggest problem that I have, number one, is that nobody will play these records on the air. I won’t get any airplay. So without airplay making a market for this, it’s very hard and unless you have a Rhino Records behind it that is willing to commit to marketing the record without airplay, you’re in trouble. And also when you’re writing to this kind of form it’s very expensive and kind of a big uphill battle to do unless you really feel like you got some sort of a built-in market.

KS: Don’t you thin country radio stations would embrace your music?

MN: Well, I don’t know. We live in the days of Randy Travis and Dwight Yokum. I don’t think so. I think there’s a different mindset afoot out there.

KS: I hope it still doesn’t dissuade you from making new music.

MN: Maybe I’ll be some young Dwight Yokum’s Buck Owens, how’s that? (laughs)

KS: In 1979 you felt the audio end of schemes was going to be obsolete and in 1982 you closed the record division of Pacific Arts.

MN: Was it ’82? I thought it was earlier than that. Well, that sounds about right.

KS: Now ten years later with CD’s and DAT’s here and music sales at an all-time high, how do you account for that and did that enter in your decision to work with Rhino on releasing stuff.

MN: Well, no, it’s an anomalous bulge. It doesn’t mean that there’s a rebirth of audio-only stuff. I mean, I think you have to look at your own lifestyle and find out, you know, what do you do more of? Do you watch more television or do you listen to more radio? That varies from person to person, but I’ll bet if you took a national statistical average you’d find more people watch more television than they listen to radio. Simple. OK, start with that as a point of departure. Why did CD’s suddenly take off? Well, number one, it was exceptional sound quality. Number two, it was a very accessible and easy user-friendly medium, and, number three, you’re able to go back and hear stuff that you’d loved for a period of time but you’d basically worn your records out. So you drew from a huge catalog, a great library of material with people who were replenishing and restocking their early audio times. But these are people who grew up on audio. Now let’s shift to the 9-year-old, to the 8-year-old who is going to be 20 in the year 2000. What kind of equipment will this person have? Will they have a CD? Yes. What can a CD do that an audio record can’t? Well, it can play pictures. You’re seeing go into place the technological base for this video revolution and I still stand by my original statement that the audio medium is going to diminish and diminish and diminish and diminish until audio-only will occupy a very small part of the overall — what do you want to call it — entertainment spectrum. It’s like network television. Network television, look at the shrinking share. Are you familiar with these statistics?

KS: Go ahead, please.

MN: Well, I’m not so familiar with them that I can quote them with complete accuracy, but it’s something to the degree that it’s gone from a 93% share in the mid-‘70’s or early ‘70’s of the total homes using television to somewhere around 60% and one point represents millions of people. But you have to look at that they’ve lost, what, thirty, forty MILLION viewers? They’ve lost it. You also have to look at what videocassette has done to the redefinition of prime time television. Videocassettes are prime time television. And what it says is prime time television is not at 9:00. Prime time television is 2:31 in the morning, it’s 6:17 in the evening, it’s 12:11 in the afternoon, it’s whenever the consumer wants to put the videocassette in and watch it. Now you have an interested consumer, aware of what they’re watching with a high desire to view. That’s prime time television and videocassettes have simply robbed the network television market. Those are the sort of changes that you can’t overlook when you try to make a sense of what’s gonna come in the future, And I think you’re going to find this in the audio/video or video music or whatever name you want to put on it. I don’t know what you could call it. And all the things that are going into place now is not the resurgence of the audio-only medium but basically the audio-only medium riding the technological curve of the present day and with the music getting a nice free ride on this. When it’s all said and done, these are video discs.

KS: Back to “Nezmusic”…on a song like “Cruisin’ “, did you have the idea for the video in mind and then come up with the song or did you write the song first and then create a video around that?

MN: Well, with “Cruisin’ “ the video was very much in mind and all of the songs since then have the pictures very much in mind and try to make them both work together.

KS: Do you enjoy working that way? Does having the visuals in mind help your writing?

MN: Yeah, it expands it because sometimes when you’re writing one of the things you’re looking for is a proper way to express a particular emotion. So you might spend hours or days or quite a bit of time trying to find a word, a phrase or something that conveys some idea what you want to convey. When you put pictures into the equation, you can think, “All right, I don’t need to SAY this out loud. I don’t need to put this in a word because, when I marry the picture to it, it will convey this.” So many times just the presence of the video in your mind, the picture in your creative processes will help you out. For one thing, “Cruisin’ “ was this odd rap record, OK? Go figure. And to me it was OK to just say poems over the top of a kind of simple bleat, you know, it was just bass and drums.

KS: Ahead of its time, when you think about it.

MN: Yeah, when you think about it. (laughs) But at the time no one was thinking that rap would become what it became. And so with “Cruisin’ “ it was a fairly clear poem — the challenge became how do you pictorially represent a phrase like “the light behind their eyes”? How do you do that? And when you write to the video form, sometimes you’ll avoid a phrase like “the light behind their eyes” because it’s much more descriptive and evocative of a mental image than it is of an actual picture. And it’s very important for me to make sure that I steer clear of narrative interpretation of these things. So with “Cruisin’ “ I learned my way a lot and, yes, I did write it with the visual in mind, but I also drove myself into a ditch in several other instances, for instance “the light behind their eyes”, and what I was left with was a cheesy video effect. I mean, I had to do this thing that made this guy’s head blow up with light, you know, Well, OK, so that was fine, but still …

KS: On ”Nezmusic” the overall clips hold up so well — the humor in “Rio” and how current “Cruisin’ “ is — to look at it now.

MN: Well, you know, when we made ‘em a long time ago we were sort of on the cutting edge of the form and we didn’t have the mandate to make a commercial for a record. What we were trying to do was really work on the form. And so the result was that we employed a lot of really basic values and basic values have a tendency to be basic (laughs), to be permanent.

KS: It’s the 25th Anniversary of the Beatles’ arriving in America …

MN: When is that?

KS: Well, actually, it was February.

MN: Oh, it was?

KS: Yeah, Feb. 64. The song “I’ll Remember You” exemplifies your love for the Beatles. I wanted to talk about that and ask you a few Beatles questions.

MN: Let me tell you about “I’ll Remember You”. Have you heard this song? “I’ll Remember You” I wrote while John was alive. I wrote it in ’79 or ’78 and I wrote it to send to him. I was just gonna give it. You know you write songs to friends sometimes. So it was just a message I was gonna send to him and I knew he was living with Yoko at the time in the Dakota taking care of Sean as a househusband, and I admired that in him. I thought it was good, you know, especially after his sort of sowing some oats there before and so I realized that I was quite fond of John and I’d spent some time with him and I had never really, aside from “Lady Madonna”, I had never really expressed a lot of appreciation for his music. One of the things that happens is that as a writer and a famous or celebrated individual you very seldom have your peers walk up to you and say, “Say, you know, I really like what you did,” Very seldom. I mean, most of the time you’re in some major competition. So I wrote that song specifically with that in mind, just to express a little gratitude. And then part of it I was trying to think from what dynamic does this thing that I feel about John and the music that he wrote come? And I realized that I had the same level of appreciation for the Fred and Ginger movies and I began to draw the parallels between the two of them to enhance the song “I’ll Remember You”. But it was not posthumous to John.

KS: Did you send it to him before his death?

MN: Nope. Never got to it. I just kept it and I didn’t send it and then the next thing I know, Howard Cosell says, “At the end of the day, it’s only a football game …”

KS: You stayed with John in 1967. What was that like? There are a lot of comparisons between you and a lot of talk of the rivalry between the Beatles and the Monkees.

MN: It was like, you know, staying with you or staying with anybody else. You just go over somebody’s house and stay!

KS: Was John a fan of the Monkees’ series?

MN: Don’t know. Didn’t talk about it. Like I say, it’s the sort of thing you don’t talk about. They were recording “Sgt. Pepper” at the time and he played me some tracks for “Sgt. Pepper” and that was about as far as it went. We played a little bit. I mean, basically, that’s what you do. That’s what I did with those guys. When you hung out, you played. You picked up a guitar and played.

KS: There’s a video for “A Day in the Life” in the studio and you’re in it! What was that like, to be there for one of the greatest recording sessions? It must have been amazing.

MN: Well, I know, but you have the mists of myth around it. Whatever it is that’s your current discipline, look at what you’re doing and think about the friends that are involved in that discipline with you and think about going out and having a hamburger with them. How big of a deal is it? It’s not a big deal at all! But listen, I mean, it makes for great dinner stories and I can get anecdotal about it and I can tell you all sorts of things and create magical images and stuff but that’s all nonsense. Basically it’s just John says, “Well, we’re going to be in the studio. You wanna come down? And is it OK that we take some pictures? We’re going to have a camera crew there.” And I said, “Sure.” It was good ‘cause there was a stack of people there, you know what I’m saying, it was a party. “Well, Paul’s got this band together and we’re going to do this big orchestra thing and so maybe you’ll sop by.” And I said, “Hey, I wouldn’t miss it.”

KS: What did you think about the comparisons? A lot of people said there was a rivalry…

MN: What, between the Monkees and the Beatles? Well, it was lunacy. I mean, there was not only not a rivalry, it’s like the Beatles were the Green Bay Packers and we played tennis! You know, it’s just not the same game.

KS: Did you think they had an influence on you as a songwriter?

MN: Well, I didn’t feel any, but that’s not to say that they didn’t. I mean, I was not really a product of those times. My musical roots went back more to hymns and movie music, some of the classics and R & B and country. That was sort of my musical mix. It’s one of those things that makes me very comfortable with elevator music today. There’s such a thing as good elevator music. I’s hidden to most people because everybody thinks of dentists when they hear it, but nonetheless, every once in a while I’ll be standing in an elevator and start tapping my foot and everybody in the elevator will look at me like, “What is wrong with this guy?” (laughs)

KS: “Magic” was a great homage to the 1950’s era.

MN: Well, it kind of was, wasn’t it? I didn’t intend it to be but it sorta ended up that way, didn’t it?

KS: Being on the Monkees’ television show, did it plant some ideas in your head even back then about how far you could go with the visuals? Did you gain a lot from that?

MN: I think so, to a certain degree. There was a large amount of the technical and creative part that went on that I didn’t pay any attention to. So I didn’t get as much as you might think. What I learned from that was really how to work with a creative team. The musical dynamic, learning to put together the image with the music really came from watching musicals, “Singin’ in the Rain” and “Fantasia” and, you know, those musicals, those old, old musicals. You can rent them at the video store now. “Wizard of Oz.” You know, these are tremendous musicals. So that was, and I guess Busby Berkeley as much as anybody. Do you know his stuff?

KS: In ’83 you said you lost interest in music videos. You said it was like radio with pictures, whereas you saw it as an art form. I wanted to ask why you dropped out and why you didn’t stay with it to bring it into new areas?

MN: Well, the idea of radio with pictures came because most music videos are like commercials for records and I was being asked to do videos for people and I didn’t want to do that. It’s the same thing if somebody called me up and asked me to do a commercial. I don’t want to do a commercial. So I made a decision to do motion pictures which was where I felt like I could do the art form. I tried to put together music type of motion pictures — wasn’t completely successful with it. “Tapeheads” is the first time I’ve gotten even close. But it really was not an attempt to abandon the music video form but to get into an area where I could actually do it. And music videos weren’t it.

KS: Do you think music video is healthier now or is it even worse than it was six years ago?

MN: Oh, it’s gotta be healthier than it was because there’s just a certain law of progress that goes with everything. You gotta get smarter people. You’re saying to me now as if you understand it — and I assume you do — that the current music video is a commercial for a record. You also say that to me as if that’s a pejorative. You say it in a certain disparaging way, so I assume that you don’t think it’s a good thing, that you think it’s as least not a fulfilling element of the form. So I can tell you from talking to literally dozens of other people like yourself that you echo a common sentiment, at least in my experience. So I think that what that common sentiment is bringing forward is that, well, we’ll tolerate the radio with pictures things because at least it kind of pushes us along, but there’s more here than meets the eye, there’s a bigger bone buried in this backyard than we’ve dug up, whatever metaphor you want to insert. At some point somebody’s gonna come along, grab hold of the form and do it, whether it’s me or whether it’s somebody else, I don’t know, but it’s gonna be somebody who’s gonna come along and do it.

KS: And there’s the occasional gems that do come through that make you still believe in the form.

MN: I think heavy metal is probably the most fertile ground right now for something to come along. Well, it’s Wagnerian. You have to look at it that way, number one. I’m talking about heavy metal as a real point of departure. Heavy metal is a good example of music that’s really taken a left turn somewhere along the line and you have to keep in mind that Hendrix was on the first Monkees tour, you know. That’s one of the great ironies of the 60’s. And it was Hendrix who infected me with a love for heavy metal and made it stay forever, which, you know, I’m still a big heavy metal fan. I couldn’t find much that I liked with heavy metal. I liked AC/DC and I liked some of the stuff, you know, from Aerosmith, Foghat, REO Speedwagon, and some of these things that weren’t really heavy metal but kind of were heavy metal pop. It really wasn’t until Eddie Van Halen came along. And Van Halen was the first time that I thought, “Ah! There’s been some life breathed in here.” Of course, now, I don’t know what he’s doing, he’s off in some other zone again, but where he was working with David and those guys, that was HOT. That was real Iwo Jima stuff. Eddie plays the guitar a lot better than Jimi played it. The difference is Hendrix didn’t play the guitar, Hendrix WAS the guitar. Major difference. This guy, when he would touch the neck of his guitar, number one, it was upside down and backwards, or backside down and upwards, whatever you want to call it, but it was screwy. When he touched the neck of his guitar it was very hard to see where his fingers ended and the guitar started. I mean there was a kind of glow around the whole thing. I know this sounds all kind of cosmic, but it’s true! He really was an amazing dude. With Van Halen, I think what Eddie’s got is the same kind of wonderful sensibility that Jimi had but the guitar is a technical extension. He’s very organized in the way he plays and very soulful but Hendrix was…you cannot compare those two. In terms of real crash/burn rock’n’roll there’s a band out there which is somewhere between my absolute favorite band, which is Z Z Top, to Metallica, which is from some other place. And then I sort of like but ignore the Bon Jovi’s of the world, Poisons and Whitesnakes and stuff and Ratt. It doesn’t work. I thought for a while Michael Schenker’s group was gonna do it, right after he left the Scorpions and he did that one album that was just wow! This guy has flat got it. And then he just went nowhere. I think, drogas, el drogas.

KS: You stated recently that putting movies on videocassette was like driving an Indy 500 car to work, a major misuse of the medium. What do you feel can be done to rectify that, and is that where “Overview” comes in?

MN: Well, I think you have to look at the whole user event, yeah, and “Overview” is a part of that. “Overview” is information carrier, though. “Overview” was a magazine on videocassette that just brought previews and reviews and things of coming attraction and it was designed as kind of a video guide. I think that hews closer to the form. At the end of the day, I gotta tell you I think home video is an entertainment medium and I think it’s gonna occupy the same place in the minds of the future people that records kind of do now. That’s where I think it’s gonna extend from, not from motion pictures, do you know what I mean? So you have to think in terms of contemporary music, what records are, in order to get a handle on how to use the video medium. That’s me. That’s the way I think of it.

KS: The first version of “Overview” that you put out, about two years ago, it failed. You’re doing something again with it. What will be different in terms of concept, marketing, distribution?

MN: You have to be careful about thinking that “Overview” failed. “Overview” did what it was intended to do, which was to provide me with a test market. The reason that it appears to have failed is because I thought that the test results would be more positive than they were and that I would go with it immediately. The test results were negative nit it wasn’t a result of the magazine. The test results were the result of the distribution system not working. I had to redesign the distribution, redesign the marketing system, and once that was done I felt like I could go forward. Well, that’s what I did. I went forward, redesigned the marketing system, redesigned my distribution system, and you’ll see it this fall. Again with another test. It may not work again, but we’ll try it again.

KS: Good. I think it’s a phenomenal idea. Just to have, like even on cable TV, the access of a library in front of you where you can just get any information you want, read the newspaper, do all that…

MN: Well, you’re talking about the Holy Grail right now and what that is is the interface of the computer with the video medium, movies on demand, pictures on demand.

KS: Does that interest you?

MN: I’m into it up to my eyeballs! And as a matter of fact you’ll see me come back through here in August with some announcements along this line. But with the availability to take the computer, interface it effectively with video, you’re very close to what you want and all of us want. All of us want to download. All of us want a couple of keystrokes, gimme the data. But you know the data stream in this thing is so dense. Do you have any idea of the technological mountain you’re trying to climb there? The data stream — and I may get this wrong — the data stream on a color video picture, one second, is 80 megabytes! If you know anything about computers you know that that’s a lot of storage. And most people have a hard disc and maybe have 20 megabytes, 10 megabytes, 40 megabytes on a hard disc. By the time you get up to 80 megabytes you’re starting to get into some serious computing power and BIG BUCKS. Well, to get one second of color video with sound on a screen uses 80 megabytes. It uses all the storage space that you have on one 80 megabyte hard disc. So just figure out how many billions of bytes you have to have in order to get 90 minutes. Apple, Hypercard, some of these other computer programs are really blazing the trail with graphics based computer technology that’s gonna make something of what you want. You might be having to live with black and white slides for a while or just somebody talking underneath it, but, hey, it’s a start. And that’s gonna be there. Everybody wants this. Me, too.

KS: It’s the 15th Anniversary — another anniversary — of the formation of your company, Pacific Arts. Being a musician for your whole life and moving into working as an executive and working on that level, was it a difficult transition?

MN: Well., let me answer it this way because it’s a question that’s commonly asked, which is how do you manage to change hats so often and so easily and the answer is, which is a good answer, is that I don’t change the hats. It’s the same hat. The dynamic and the values that I employ to write a song, make a record, do a video, make “Tapeheads”, is the same one that you use to run a company and it’s just different applications of the same values.

KS: Are you pleased with where the company is now? Is it beyond what you envisioned at the beginning?

MN: Well, it’s different. I don’t know. Every morning I get up and I wonder is this the right place to be going? And a company is a very hard thing to project, you know, the best laid plans of mice and men… The important thing in a company is to be adaptable. U see a lot of people come to me with systems analysis, management systems, a way to control this, that, and the other thing, how to make 5-year projections, 2-year projections, 1-year projections. They all have their place, but none of them occupies as an important place in the hierarchy of things as being adaptable, being able to think fast, be quick on your feet so that when everything goes to hell in a handbasket you can make a decision and ether do something that either saves the day or gets you out of the mud. And when it comes to running a company it’s a question of getting up, assessing the day, and saying, “Well, am I stuck in the ditch?” Or am I on the road? Or is the ditch really the road?” It gets very subtle and curious out there sometimes. So you know one day I may wake up and there will be no Pacific Arts. One day I may wake up and Pacific Arts will be Warner Brothers. I don’t know.

KS: Let’s talk about “Tapeheads”. I loved it. What was it that attracted you to the project? Was it an almost instant affection for the story that made you feel it was right for Pacific Arts?

MN: Well, it was the Swanky Modes. I mean, you know, there was a script that had running through its core the heart and soul of 160’s R & B. Now I don’t mean to indicate that’s what the movie’s about, ‘cause clearly it isn’t. But I thought, depending on who we cast for the Smoky Modes, this could be an unbelievable thing to see. Then when Same Moore and Junior Walker were cast, I was even more thrilled. Of course, all the musicians in the world began to say, “Gee, can we come down and work?” and “Can we come down and play and do all this stuff?” And then when I started hearing the music that they were recording originally for the movie I was just blown away. So the first thing that appealed to me was the music and at the end of the day the thing that makes me the happiest with it is the music. I think “Ordinary Man” is a hit!

KS: Is filmmaking the primary interest for you? Or is it one of many?

MN: Well, right now, I gotta save “Tapeheads”. I gotta make “Tapeheads” work and that’s what I’m talking to you and what I’m talking to everybody I can talk to about right now ‘cause “Tapeheads” has gotta get a shot. If people can understand what is at the root of “Tapeheads” and it can grow, it’s a point of departure for me to make other musical movies and it has to be demonstrated that this is a valid form. I don’t know whether it’s gonna make a lot of money. It may or may not. So far the video looks like it’s gonna do very well. But it’s the music part of this and the combination of movies and music is where I want to be, it’s where I’m totally focused and where I want to ultimately be. And like I say, maybe the next one will be a heavy metal movie. Don’t you think that would be cool? A heavy metal movie? Think of that. I mean, you go into a nice big theatre, I’m not talking about some little squeezie 14-plex, I’m talking about something with this humongoid screen where you can do all this major kill sound and you go in there and you get a couple of concert stacks. You don’t use the speakers that they’ve got ‘cause they’re kinda twinky, you know, you get some concert stacks and you put ‘em in there and you get some big sound and you just do it a little bit like a concert. Why can’t the cinema experience be like a concert experience?

KS: Would it be something like a “Spinal Tap” or a documentary type?

MN: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, something entirely of its own. You know there’s a dynamic, there’s a creative imperative inherent in heavy metal music. It’s male adolescence, it’s cars and women — spelled W-I-M-M-I-N. They’re into it and it works!

KS: And you can identify with it, as well.

MN: You can identify with it. I mean, it’s not the way I lead my life, I’m a fairly conservative guy. But as an art form, I mean, cripes, you can’t ignore that and I think if you’re looking to put some power up on the screen, you know, these guys have got their hands on the trigger.

KS: Which part of the creative process do you enjoy the most? The ideas, the writing, the filming, the editing, or just sitting back and enjoying the end result?

MN: It’s the end result. Yeah, sit back and watch it. I make movies ‘cause I want to see ‘em! It’s the only reason. I don’t know why else to make a movie. You make a movie ‘cause to want to see it. I don’t like chopping the onions and dicing the carrots and standing over the stove much. I don’t like that much.

KS: Same thing with music, as well?

MN: Yeah, you write music ‘cause you want to hear it. That’s why I started writing music. I couldn’t play the guitar. So I couldn’t sing and so anything anybody else was doing so I said, “OK, let’s all sing this song. I don’t know how to play that’ song.” So you make up a song you can sing.

KS: It’s funny that you talked about “Cruisin’” being early rap, because I wanted to ask you about Run DMC’s “Mary Mary”, which you wrote.

MN: Well, I don’t know. My life has been nothing if not poetic. You know what I mean? (laughs) There are certain closed great parentheses is my life and I wonder what open parentheses I’m in the middle of right now. You know, every once in a while, I’ll look at “Mary Mary” and I think, “My Lord! Is this unusual or what?” And then to see this come back around! People say to me, “Are you surprised that the Monkees are doing so well in their reunion?”, and I say, “No, I’m surprised that Run DMC recorded ‘Mary Mary’ as a rap single!” That’s the surprise.

KS: And they did a real good job, I thought.

MN: I thought so. Sure. I mean, if that’s the rap dynamic. I thought when I was doing “Cruisin’” that what I was doing was just reciting poetry over a very spare and simple musical bed. I like the concept of rap because it gives people who can’t sing the ability to express themselves musically. I think that’s cool. I’m not sure what they’re talking about a lot of the time. I suppose it’s OK to talk about “I like the way you look, baby”, but, I mean, I don’t know, it burns out pretty quick for me.

KS: It seems like you’ve reconciled with your past with the Monkees, recognizing that you’ll always be identified with that.

MN: Well, you’re right. The curious thing to me is that there’s ever any question that I may or may not do that. I mean, why in the world wouldn’t I do that> I don’t have anything to reconcile. It’s always been just fine with me. I knew when I got involved in the thing that IU was going to be a Monkee for the rest of my life. You don’t get involved in things that hot and not have it stay around. Christopher Reeve knew when he took the Superman part that he was gonna be Superman so he better get peaceful with that before he does it. I was peaceful with it before I did it.

KS: Do you think if you did anything with the band, especially a movie, would it adversely affect you or would it fit into the scope of your company? Would you consider something like that?

MN: Sure. We’ve talked about it many times. The problem is not whether or not I’d do it. It’s whether or not anybody would make that movie. And there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of interest in it. I mean, I think it would make an interesting film. You wanna know my guess, I think of there was gonna be something on film it would probably end up on television. Television is the Monkees’ medium. And I don’t know whether or not we could pull it off — the four of us as adults could pull off — what we pulled off 25 years ago. Probably not. So that you have to look that pretty hard.

KS: Would you get involved in a Monkees’ record, maybe contributing a couple of songs?

MN: Sure. Absolutely. All those things are up in the air and up in the wind and we talk about ‘em all the time. I would’ve gone on tour, but I didn’t have the time. I was just finishing “Square Dance” and just starting “Tapeheads” and as a matter of fact I told 'em I would. We were gonna go out and just do half a dozen dates, you know, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, something like that. They called up and said, “Listen, we went to get a drink of water and the faucet fell off in our hand and now it’s 280 dates.” I said, “Well, partners, I can’t do that. I’ve got 25 employees here. I can’t walk away from this.”

KS: On the follow-up tour in 1987 they did quite a few of your songs, “Circle Sky” and “You Just May Be The One”. Was there any plan of your doing a few shows in 1987? It seemed that’s why they had those songs in.

MN: That is constantly in our minds. I think they’re gonna come back this year. We’re trying right now to figure out how to make some dates work. We tried to make one work in Philadelphia. I couldn’t get there. We tried to make one work in Chicago. I couldn’t get there. You know, it’s a nightmare.

KS: There’s a video floating around of the Greek Theatre in 1986. It was just so heartwarming to see.

MN: Oh, you should’ve been there! Oh, it was terrific, it was great. You know, we just tried to figure out the right way to do it and decided I’d come on at the end. And so we put together a couple of numbers and, you know, he guys went through their whole show and it was like, “So long, goodbye,” they’re taking their final bows and then I walk out from the edge and hey hit me with the spotlight and I’m telling you the place went up for grabs! It was unbelievable. It exploded!

KS: The big question is did you have to relearn “Pleasant Valley Sunday” and “Listen to the Band”? You were playing that lick on “Pleasant Valley Sunday” pretty good.

MN: No, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. Number one, it’s not that hard. Like I say, it’s a big part of my life. I like that part of my life. I wish I could do it more and, if we can figure out a way to do it more…you know, we talk all the time, trying to figure out how to get me back un on the TV show. You know, they’re off in Europe right now doing some big tours and I’d love to be there. I’d love it! It’s be great! But…we gotta get people out there to see “Tapeheads”. (laughs)

KS: The Monkees are receiving a Star this year on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. How do you feel about that and will you attend?

MN: Oh, yeah! You bet! I feel great!

KS: If you were watching TV and a Monkees episode came on, would you watch it?

MN: No. I’ve seen ‘em too many times. I’ve seen ‘em all dozens of times.

KS: You saw them as a spectator in ’86 in Texas. What was that like?

MN: Well, that was real edifying. I’ve been asked about that before, too, and the one thing that was obvious to me was that Micky should’ve been in front all along. You know, he is so good. Why we stuck him back on the drums, that was one of the dumber things we ever did. Between David and Micky up front, I mean, you got two power hitters up here, you know? I just stand there, I don’t do anything. I go over and stand by my amp and play the guitar. And Peter probably could have been a better drummer than Micky because Peter’s a better musician than Micky. So I don’t know, maybe we should’ve given Micky a bass and let him play bass or something, but he was great. It was wonderful to see, too, I’ll tell you.

KS: “The Girl I Knew Somewhere” was the first song you guys all recorded together, which you wrote. The first session, was it a big relief or a lot of pressure?

MN: Well, there wasn’t any pressure to it. You know, there wasn’t a lot of support for us playing, because it was like, “Come on, guys, you’re actors,” and “How are you gonna play and make the music? You know, it’s just too big of a workload, number one. Number two, what kind of material are you gonna play? What are you gonna do?” So it wasn’t a question of “Can you play, can you make decent music?” It was a question of “If you play, how are we gonna make all this fit into what we’re doing? ‘Cause there’s so much other stuff!” So the pressure was never really “Can you play and can you play well?” The question was “OK, we figure you can play and we figure you can play well enough and we know Nesmith writes and we know the rest of you guys write, so maybe this well all come about, but then what?” And that was the big question, because as they predicted it got tougher and tougher and tougher as we got busier and busier and busier.

KS: The “Live ‘67” album on Rhino is interesting to listen to because you guys were a great garage band.

MN: That’s exactly what we were. We were a garage band.

KS: Have you heard it?

MN: Well, I mean, I heard it when we made it. (laughs)

KS: It had electricity that blew away a lot of critics when they reviewed it, and it had an almost psychedelic version of “Steppin’ Stone”.

MN: It was a psychedelic version of “Steppin’ Stone”. Unequivocally.

KS: What direction do you think the Monkees would have gone if “HEAD” had been a success?

MN: We would have just continued to make films and records. Abandoned television. Probably have jumped into the video form about the time I did. That’s my guess. We would’ve stayed right there.

KS: Would you have veered into a country direction, as “Good Clean Fun” and ”Never Tell A Woman Yes” indicated for you?

MN: No, I don’t think so. Micky was always the voice and Davy was always the voice of the Monkees and they didn’t…Micky was never comfortable singing those country type songs. But you know Micky’s got a terrific pop voice.

KS: I’ve interviewed him, but he seems very insecure and underestimated himself about how good he is and what a great showman he is.

MN: Yeah. Yeah, he does. That’s one of the reasons he ended up sticking back there on drums. I was like, “Yeah, sure, I’ll play drums.” “Mick, get up, get out here.”

KS: In 1969 you went to Nashville and recorded material for an album side of a Monkees LP. What happened with that?

MN: Well, nothing. By that time he show was off the air and there wasn’t any place to put it. That band went on to become a band that had a little bit of success in their own right called Area Code 615 and they were a session band. One of those songs that we recorded was “Listen to the Band”. And then there were some other songs in there that I can’t remember what they were. “Saint Matthew”, I think, was a song that we did. There was some other stuff. It just got stashed in a vault somewhere.

KS: Why was the live “Circle Sky” replaced with a studio version? A lot of critics have said it was a fantastic live performance. In fact, Peter felt it was the best recorded example of the band.

MN: Well, that was done, and I think Peter’s right. I think, if you talk about the Monkees as a band, you have to look at “Circle Sky”, number one, and “Girl I Knew Somewhere”, number wo. I mean, that’s basically a garage band. And that’s the way garage bands play — loud and fast. (laughs)

KS: Were there any songs Davy or Micky sang that you were especially partial to, that you wish you’d sand? Like you did a demo of “Daddy’s Song” first.

MN: No, I was always happy with the way the vocals went down. Every time I’d sing a Monkees’ song it’d sound like a country tune…and at the time having it sound like a country tune wasn’t a good idea. Maybe it’s different now, I don’t know.

KS: It’s interesting how critics hated the Monkees but the public loved them, while your solo career as a country rock pioneer was a hit with the critics but not with the public.

MN: Well, you have to let history write that chapter, Ken. I don’t know what place I have in all of that and don’t really much think about it one way or the other.

KS: One last question, if you could choose three Nesmith songs for a time capsule that would be discovered in a thousand years from now…

MN: Well, I wrote one like that, you know. Because I thought about that. It’s called “Capsule” and it’s on the “Infinite Rider” LP…

[Transcribed from a PDF found on Monkees Live Almanac]

#Long but worth the read #Nez #Mike Nesmith #Text Transcript

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lombax-lombardi · 6 years

Text

Snow~

Summary: A new girl shows up at Domino High with hair like fallen snow all tied up in twin tails. She seems nice enough even with the mysterious air about her although it is like her eyes hide a secret.

Genre: Character Building

Character: Deirdre Heartily

Not a lot of people knew about the new girl in town.

Most that people know is that she was new, fluent in at least two languages and had hair coloured like freshly fallen snow.

She was very well formed for her age and her eyes were like a sea green. Most would say blue but you can’t really tell from a quick glance.

She was also very beautiful.

She introduced herself to her class.

Deirdre Heartily.

She wore a smile on her very pale face many started to wonder is she were ill, it was not the case she was in fact quite healthy, evident by the pink hue on her cheeks.

She preferred a window seat in the back of the class, she loved the sound of people chattering amongst themselves. Many would say she was lonely but that was not true.

The young woman was arranging her papers on her desk when she saw pink fill her vision. Two brunette females stood in front of her, sea green eyes stared up. One of them had shirt brown hair almost near her shoulders and lovely blue eyes, the other with interesting bangs and a long ponytail to match, along with the darkest brown eyes she had seen.

“Hey there. You’re the new girl right?” the one with the ponytail asked in a chipper tune, Deirdre nodded her head. “Yes I am. Is it that obvious?” she asked with a small smile on her face.

The two brunettes exchanged brief looks. She spoke so warmly, her voice was like silk!

“Well you do kind of stick out with your white hair. I’m Madilyn Graceland and this is my best friend, Tea Gardner” the one with the blue eyes raised her hand with a grin. “Hi”

Deirdre smiled again, giving them both a nod. “It is a pleasure to meet you pair. Perhaps one of these days we could become friends.” She rose from her seat, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

The two girls had the opportunity to look her over. The rumours were true she was really pretty, unfairly pretty for someone her age! The twin tailed female looked up, seeing someone slowly creeping up from behind the two brunettes.

She opened her mouth to speak when Madilyn squeaked out in surprise, shoving her elbow into the rib-cage of whoever startled her. “Joey! You know I startle easy!” her voice hissed but her tone was full of love.

The male, who Deirdre believed to be this Joey, was wheezing through the pain of an elbow to his chest. “Geez Madds....you certainly...are...rough...ow” the blonde raised a hand up in defeat. Madilyn of course was angry, Tea let out a sigh.

“Sorry Deirdre they are always like this...” The female with white hair blinked.

“Deirdre this is my boyfriend, Joey Wheeler” Madilyn gestured to the taller male, having seemingly recovered standing tall with his hands in his pockets. Deirdre took in his face as she did the two girls.

Warm brown eyes, dusty blonde hair. She could clearly see why they were together. “And does he always frighten you?”

“Nah not all da time” What a strange accent, the new student thought to herself. The blonde gave her a warm grin. “Madds here just doesn’t know how to have fun” Obviously his comment did not sit well with his shorter girlfriend, evident by the way she folded her arms and pouted.

Deirdre smiled. “It was lovely meeting you three but I must be going” she gave them a wave then headed to ward the door where she almost bumped into three other boys.

One with white hair and wide copper eyes, one with a very punk looking hairstyle who was also quite short and a taller male with brown hair and green like coloured eyes. “Excuse me boys” she said with a brief smile, parting through them finally taking her leave.

“Who was that?” the male with the long white hair finally spoke up, filling the silence was between the three of them briefly.

“I think that was the new girl Bakura” the shorter boy replied, staring after the much taller female as she left.

“Well we didn’t have much time to introduce ourselves to her properly since the day was jam packed” Bakura seemed a little disappointed, when he noticed the third member of their little trio still staring after the one with hair like snow.

“Tristan? Earth to Tristan?” the shorter boy called for his friend who seemed to startle himself back to reality, blinking a few times. “Oh, uh, heh sorry Yugi, guess I got a little dazed there” The one called Tristan rubbed the back of his head, Yugi sighed.

“What is going on here?” Madilyn called out to them, gesturing with her hands. “You guys look like you got sucked into space” the boys obviously were not impressed with Maddi’s smart remark. “Well we just bumped into the new girl, quite charming at first glance” Bakura commented, Maddi snickered.

“Don’t let Esper hear you saying that. As if girls don’t have ENOUGH competition for you or just dates in general. In comes this Deirdre and she is exactly like the rumours say!” The brunette slumped in her chair, groaning so loud it would have sounded like someones stomach gurgling.

The blonde standing beside her bent down slightly to her level, a small grin on his face. “Naw, is mah girl jealous of the new pretty girl in school?” Maddi snapped her head at her boyfriend. “I am not!”

Tea once again rolled her eyes, noticing Tristan turning his glance back through the door Deirdre walked through. She was about to comment on it when Yugi spoke up. “Shouldn’t Esper and Rii be here by now?” he sounded concerned, mostly for Rii’s sake.

If it wasn’t obvious by now he was developing a small crush on the girl. Which will probably end up turning into a big one.

The group also started to worry as well.

Where were they?

Down in the hall Deirdre was headed on to the exit when she heard a crash near her, along side with female laughter.

They sounded like they were making fun of someone, Deirdre felt her heart sink and her blood boil. How she hated bullies.

Turning on her heel, she headed to the source of the sound along with pulling something out of her back.

Three older girls were standing in front were standing in front of two other girls, one with blonde hair and one with purple hair wearing red glasses. The blonde seemed to be protecting the violet haired female from these cruel girls, holding her arms out in front of the other girl as if to shield her.

One of the girls with thick black hair was carrying a pair of scissors. “Now now, Sae, let the brat go and we won’t give you the same fate she will have”

The one called Sae stuck out her tongue. “Over my dead body. You are the brat here! I won’t let you hurt her because she is different!”

The female with the scissors shrugged, shaking her head. “Fine then. Miki, Tanya, grab Sae and the brat” she ordered her flunkies to move when a voice called out to them.

“Stop right there you three!” the bullies turned their heads at the sound of the voice, snickering when they saw the new girl.

“Well well, it’s usually new kids like you who get picked on first. Listen here, Snowflake, why don’t you run along and let the grown ups deal with this” the female with the scissors tried to shoo her away but Deirdre stood her ground.

“I think not” Deirdre shook her head. “You believe that someone who is different from you deserves to be mistreated by people who should protect her? I may not know these girls but I will not stand by and watch you defile them in any way”

The two girls looked on in awe, taking a small mental note at the way the pendant the girl wore shone slightly, not enough to be noticed by normal eyes but these two were used to stranger things.

It had a red glow.

“And what are you gonna do about tough girl? After we are done with them we’ll go after you!” the head bully cackled. “Probably post some pictures that would make your Mama cry!”

The sound of footsteps rang in Deirdre’s ears, turning her head slightly to see the classmates she met earlier were standing behind her.

“Esper! Rii! Are you alright?” Madilyn called out to them, the two girls nodded. Yugi was obviously worried, he wanted to step in but from the look Tristan and Joey were giving him told him he should not.

The new girl had this.

“Are you finished?” The slight tone of the females voiced changed, eyes fluttering open to show a much more darker sheen then before. “If you are not then let me close your mouths for the time being!” With a flick of her wrist, the leader’s laughter stopped when she started screaming.

She looked down and noticed she had a Duel monster card embedded into her hand, making her drop the scissors she was holding along with hissing in pain, onlookers nearby backed up when they saw angry tears starting to form.

“Oh you’ll pay for that!”

“Will I now?” In the corner of her eye Deirdre saw movement, pulling from her belt where she kept her Deck she unfurled what seemed to be a long jump rope and used it as whip to tangle the other two girls up. They struggled to break free while the leader gritted her teeth, watching the twin tailed female approach.

Bending over she gently pulled her Duel Monster card from the girls hand, kicking the scissors from out of her reach. “If I ever see you near these girls again, I’ll make sure you will get the treatment you were going to give them” she motioned her head behind her.

“Get lost. And next time do not call me Snowflake” the way she said that sent chills down her spine, staggering away like the coward she was. She bent down and untied the other two females, who also ran in slight fear.

Deirdre turned her attention to the two victims, a warm smile gracing her lips. ‘Are you two alright?”

The blonde nodded. “Yes we are fine. Thank you so much for stepping in” The white haired female smiled. “It was my pleasure” she raised a bow when she heard footsteps behind her.

More like hurried footsteps.

“Rii! Esper!” Both Yugi and Bakura pushed past Deirdre, Tea behind them. “Guys! Slow down! I’ve never seen them run so fast” she huffed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yugi I’m fine stop...worrying. See? No cuts or bruises” the violet haired girl showed the smaller boy her arms, he exhaled a breath he did not know he was holding, unlike Esper however who had some small cuts but they did not go unnoticed by Bakura.

“Are you sure you are alright?” He asked the blonde, she smiled in reply. ‘Yes I’m alright. Honestly, girls can be so mean”

Deirdre felt a hand on her shoulder, turning she was greeted by Madilyn. “Thanks for stepping in. You were awesome! I did not know someone could use a jump rope as...like that!” The twin tailed female chuckled.

“Well let’s say I had to learn when I was a little girl.” she raised her head, noticing that brunette male she bumped into earlier staring at her, Joey who was next to Madilyn nudged her along with him.

Madilyn was of course ready to protest.

“Man, thanks for helping them” The male said with a somewhat shaky grin, Deirdre took note of it. “You are quite welcome. I assume you are all friends?”

“Y-Yeah we are! Uh....oh! You idiot you are supposed to introduce yourself! I’m Tristan, Tristan Taylor” Either he was nervous around girls or he was normally like this Deirdre would have to find out later.

“Well I am very charmed in meeting you Tristan” she extended her hand out for him to shake, which he did. She then placed her card and rope away.

“Well I must be going” She turned her head to her now former distressed damsels. “Will you two be alright on your way home?”

They nod. “Of course we will, thank you so much”

She gave them a smile once again, raising her hand to wave them goodbye then turning on her heel to reach the exit.

The group were still stunned at this new girls prowess, first she takes peoples breath away with her looks, then her smarts and now this?

She was almost too good to be true.

Maddi folded her arms across her chest, noticing that Tristan had not moved in what seemed like a long time. “Is it just me or is Taylor over there just in awe?”

Joey placed both hands behind his head. “Eh, who knows. Tristan ain’t got the smarts to be on her level” That of course set him off.

“WHAT’D YOU SAY?” the brunette gritted his teeth, yanking his friend by his collar, Joey of course was going to retaliate.

The rest of the gang shake their heads.

Rii however reflected on what she saw. A dim red glow from that pendent?

Whatever does it mean?

#Maddi writes #Dueling Arcana #OC: Deirdre Heartily #I WROTE ABOUT THE GIRL FINALLY #AHGDAJLHAHAFJAL

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offtothepictures · 6 years

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chicago (2002)

chicago is the story of two murderesses (velma kelly and roxie hart) set in 20s chicago (duh). it’s a musical so bye everyone who just checked out!! the songs are sexy, smoky vintage jazz and the cast BANGS (auntie tanya from mamma mia anyone?) it’s funny and showy and bursting at the seams with glamour but most importantly it doesn’t take itself too seriously. also catherine zeta-jones got an oscar for this movie so if that doesn’t sell it to you i honestly don’t know what will

allow me to preface this review by saying: if you haven’t seen chicago yet, get in the bin

seriously go watch chicago

it will make you want to kill a man with a stiletto whilst dragging on a cigarette

okay now that we’ve got that out of the way, chicago:

can we PLEASE talk about how hot catherine zeta-jones is?? even with THAT haircut. she is the only person on god’s green earth who can pull that off

DOMINIC WEST I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE PAINFULLY UNDER-UTILISED IN EVERYTHING (also in my head he is andrew scott’s husband and nothing can unravel that connection) (also side note could he not be dominic cooper’s dad. like they have the same face. and name. sorry distracted)

ahh. renee Zellweger. she’s cool! she’s fine! she’s bridget jones! she just…….. has a very tense face. are we meant to be rooting for her in this? because roxie is low-key a bitch.

‘and all that jazz’ is SUCH a banger. and is interestingly one of the two diegetic songs in the film (idk if we count ‘but I can’t do it alone’)

on that note, let’s talk about the film’s use of diegetic music! lindsay ellis did a really interesting video on diegesis in film so check that out for a MUCH better explanation but essentially, diegesis is anything that happens within the premise of the film (i.e. ‘and all that jazz’ actually is sung by velma kelly in the film at the club). on the other hand, non-diegetic music is any music that does not actually happen within the confines of the story. this is the default for music in film – most soundtracks are non-diegetic as there usually isn’t ACTUALLY a 50 piece orchestra sitting camera right (sorry, titanic).

chicago uses the theory of diegesis pretty uniquely, as most musicals do operate on a non-diegetic system (the musical numbers are usually metaphorical and don’t tend to require explanation within the film). by contrast, chicago does provide an explanation for the non-diegetic musical numbers: they’re happening in the protagonist’s head as her way of coping. this really WORKS because it not only makes the film both stand out and make more sense, but also adds another layer to roxie’s character and reaffirms her obsession and dreams of stardom. go movie.

john c. reilly is that dude that has been in every film under the sun and you still have no idea what his name is

okay let’s address the elephant in the room:

the SINGING

catherine is killing the damn game holy calzone triple threat who???? hot damn

renee zellweger! okay i see you girl! doing The Most™! we get it calm down you’ll pop a damn vein

queen Latifah could push me into a volcano chanting ancient cult hymns and I’d climb out again just to hear her finish that woman has a VOICE (also how gorgeous my lord she just glows)

richard gere is a sexy, sexy man. i don’t care what you say about his singing i’ll just stare at his face and pretend i can’t hear

who else sings um

oooh the CELL BLOCK TANGO

okay but like?? none of those characters ever come back again?

byeeeee

also 5 of them literally caught their husbands cheating or whatever and the first lady shot him twice for CHEWING GUM

like i get it’s annoying but overkill?

anyway I think between chicago and moulin rouge we’ve proved that every good movie needs a tango (honestly could have saved tlj don’t @ me :) rian johnson u listening?)

in ‘all I care about is love’ how does he get those boxers off in one swipe?? get u a man like that

remind me why billy took the case for less than half his asking price? what changed his mind?

i love the aesthetic of this film but i feel like they really could have pushed it further and made it sexier and smokier and glitzier soz

that LUCY LIU cameo yum

czj’s accent omfg she’s WELSH GUYS she’s actually magic

i actually really liked how every set looked like a set (let’s face it the prison looked as real as a £3 note) – it really tied in to the whole performance and entertainment and just general SHOW vibes of the film. good job

roxie u SNEAKY BINCH with that pregnancy story

‘we both reached for the gun’ is high key super creepy (giant puppeteer richard gere anyone) but such a cool concept

ohh that was a BOOB GRAB

RICHARD NO

... richard yes?

you know what’s sad? this film was nominated for thirteen oscars in 2002. it won six. including best picture. and you just KNOW that it wouldn’t even win like…… hair and makeup now. why do pictures have to be arty and subtle to win oscars?? like i get indies are often better quality and more original but you can still get amazing big budget studio movies. just a thought.

the closing number is an absolutely perfect ending for this film – it’s satisfying and slick and cut throat

anyway chicago is an absolute riot and makes for super fun viewing so I’m giving it:

8/10

(it was well made, good acting, fun story and just an absolute blast to watch and listen to!! loses points for not giving dominic west enough to do (your problem not mine) and for roxie being just the most annoying goddamn ‘’’’’protagonist’’’’’ ever)

SPOILERS (it won’t let me put two cuts ffs tumblr what are u doing)

can we please talk about the seismic tonal shift that was the execution of the innocent hungarian lady? it was an incredible sequence but felt really out of place and i wasn’t 100% sure why it stayed in? i guess it was to strike fear into the audience that that could happen to roxie buuuuuut…… let’s be real we couldn’t give a flying MONKEY’S about what happens to roxie (to quote demi: sorry not sorry)

#chicago #renee zellweger #catherine zeta jones #john c reilly #richard gere #dominic west #film review #long post #musical #chicago (2002)#dance #2002 #movie #film #critic

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gaysparklepires · 7 years

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19. Race

We made our flight with seconds to spare, and then the anxiety really hit. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled—so casually—up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartment to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed. Alice’s hand was hard on my shoulder, gently squeezing me when she sensed my anxiety spike.

“It’s faster than running,” she reminded me in a low voice.

I just nodded in response.

At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness that tortured me further. I expected some kind of relief when we achieved liftoff, but my frenzied anxiety didn’t lessen.

Alice lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of her before we’d stopped climbing, turning her back on the stewardess who eyes her with disapproval. Something about my expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest.

I tried to tune out what Alice was murmuring to Jasper; I didn’t want to add to my anxiousness, but some of the conversation reached my ears.

“I can’t be sure, I keep seeing him do different things, he keeps changing his mind…. A killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square… mostly things that would expose them—he knows that’s the fastest way to force a reaction….

“No, you can’t.” Alice’s voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible, though I was sitting inches from her. Contrarily, I listened harder. “Tell Emmett no… Well, go after Emmett and Royal and bring them back…. Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?”

She nodded. “Exactly. I think Beau is the only chance—if there is a chance…. I’ll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren’t good.”

She laughed then, and there was a catch in her voice. “I’ve thought of that…. Yes, I promise.” Her voice became pleading. “Don’t follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I’ll get out…. And I love you.”

She hung up, and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed. “I hate lying to him.”

“Tell me everything, Alice,” I begged. “I don’t understand. Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett, why can’t they come help us?”

“Two reasons,” she whispered, her eyes still closed. “The first I told him. We could try to stop Edward ourselves—if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you’re alive. But we can’t sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he’ll just act that much faster. He’ll throw a Buick through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down.

“That’s the second reason of course, the reason I couldn’t say to Jasper. Because if they’re there and the Volturi kill Edward, they’ll fight them. Beau.” She opened her eyes and stared at me, beseeching. “If there were any chance we could win… if there were a way that the four of us could save my brother by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can’t, and, Beau, I can’t lose Jasper like that.”

I realized why her eyes begged for my understanding. She was protecting Jasper, at our expense, and maybe at Edward’s, too. I understood, and I did not think badly of her. I nodded.

“Couldn’t Edward hear you, though?” I asked. “Wouldn’t he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, and there was no point to this?”

Not that there was any justification, either way. I still couldn’t believe that he was so stupid as to react like this. It made no sense! I remembered with irritable clarity his words that day on the sofa, while we watched Romeo and Juliet kill themselves, one after the other. I wasn’t going to live without you, he’d said, as if it should be such an obvious conclusion. But the words he had spoken in the forest as he’d left me had canceled all that out—forcefully.

“If he were listening,” she explained. “But believe it or not, it’s possible to lie with your thoughts. If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking ‘he’s alive, he’s alive’ as hard as I could. He knows that.”

I ground my teeth in mute frustration.

“If there were any way to do this without you, Beau, I wouldn’t be endangering you like this. It’s very wrong of me.”

“I understand, Alice.” I replied. “But I have to do this. I can’t have the guilt haunting me for the rest of my life.” I decided to change the subject. “Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie to Jasper.”

She smiled a grim smile. “I promised him I would get out before they killed me, too. It’s not something I can guarantee—not by a long shot.” She raised her eyebrows, as if willing me to take the danger more seriously.

“Who are these Volturi?” I demanded in a whisper. “What makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Royal, and you?” It was hard to imagine something scarier than that.

She took a deep breath, and then abruptly leveled a dark glance over my shoulder. I turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn’t listening to us. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While I stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer and very conspicuously put headphones on.

I leaned closer to Alice. Her lips were at my ears as she breathed the story.

“I was surprised that you recognized the name,” she said. “That you understood so immediately what it meant—when I said he was going to Italy. I thought I would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?”

“He just said they were an old, powerful family—like royalty. That you didn’t antagonize them unless you wanted to… die,” I whispered. The last word was hard to choke out.

“You have to understand,” she said, her voice slower, measured now. “We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It’s abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace. It’s the same for Tanya’s family in the north, and Carlisle speculates that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilized, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience. Even James’s little coven of three was unusually large—and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone, or in pairs, as a general rule. Carlisle’s family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know, with the one exception. The Volturi.

“There were three of them originally, Aro, Caius, and Marcus.”

“I’ve seen them,” I mumbled. “In the picture in Carlisle’s study.”

Alice nodded. “Two females joined them over time, and the five of them make up the family. I’m not sure, but I suspect their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together. They are well over three thousand years old. Or maybe it’s their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward and I, Aro and Marcus are… talented.”

She continued before I could ask. “Or maybe it’s just their love of power than binds them together. Royalty is an apt description.”

“But if there are only five—“

“Five that make up the family,” she corrected. “That doesn’t include their guard.”

I took a deep breath. “That sounds… serious.”

“Oh, it is,” she assured me. “There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time we heard. Others are more… transitory. It changes. And many of them are gifted as well—with formidable gifts, gifts that make what I can do look like a parlor trick. The Volturi chose them for their abilities, physical or otherwise.

I opened my mouth, and then closed it. I didn’t think I wanted to know how bad the odds were.

She nodded again, as if she understood exactly what I was thinking. “They don’t get into too many confrontations. No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls.”

“Duty?” I wondered.

“Didn’t Edward tell you what they do?”

“No,” I said, feeling the blank expression on my face.

Alice looked over my head again, toward the businessman, and put her wintry lips back to my ear.

“There’s a reason we call them royalty… the ruling class. Over the millennia, they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules—which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfill that duty decisively.”

My eyes popped wide with shock. “There are rules?” I asked in a voice that was too loud.

“Shh!”

“Shouldn’t somebody have mentioned this to me earlier?” I whispered angrily. “I mean, I was so involved in your lives! Shouldn’t someone have explained the rules to me?”

Alice chuckled once at my reaction. “It’s not that complicated, Beau. There’s only one core restriction—and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself. You already follow it.”

I did think about it. “You have to keep what you are a secret?”

“Exactly, and you instinctively knew that.” She replied.

“Well, it is pretty obvious.”

“It makes sense, and most of us don’t need policing,” she continued. “But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. I don’t know. And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us.”

“So Edward…”

“Is planning to flout that in their own city—the city they’ve secretly held for three thousand years, since the time of the Etruscans. They are so protective of their city that they don’t allow hunting within its walls. Volterra is probably the safest city in the world—from vampire attack at the very least.”

“But you said they didn’t leave. How do they eat?”

“They don’t leave. They bring in their food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do when they’re not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure…”

“From situations like this one, like Edward,” I finished her sentence. I couldn’t fathom how he could be so selfish and belligerent towards his family’s feelings. His death would devastate them. What’s more, it was entirely possible that the whole Cullen family could be held responsible for his actions. The anger flared anew.

“I doubt they’ve ever had a situation quite like this,” she muttered, disgusted. “You don’t get a lot of suicidal vampires.”

I realized I was shaking, I was so angry and frustrated. Alice seemed to understand. She wrapped her thin, strong arm around my shoulders.

“We’ll do what we can, Beau. It’s not over yet.”

“Not yet.” I let her comfort me, though I knew she thought our chances were poor. “But the Volturi will get us if we mess this up.”

Alice stiffened. “Yes, they will.”

I let out a groan of frustration.

“If you’ve changed your mind, we can turn around in New York and go back to Forks.”

“I haven’t changed my mind…” the hesitation was palpable in my voice.

“If you’re sure.” She was staring at me very intently.

“Alice, will you promise me something?”

She waited expectantly.

“Promise me—if we’re too late for Edward—that you’ll do everything you can to get me back to Charlie.” I could feel the intensity in my eyes.

“I’ll do my damnedest, Beau.”

“And you get yourself back to Jasper.” I added.

She nodded and we were silent for a moment.

“Alright, I need to concentrate, now. I need to try and see what he’s planning.”

She left her arm around me, but let her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes. She pressed her free hand to the side of her face, rubbing her fingerprints against her temple.

I watched her in fascination for a long time. Eventually she became utterly motionless, her face like a stone sculpture. The minutes passed, and if I didn’t know better, I would have thought she’d fallen asleep. I didn’t dare interrupt her to ask what was going on.

Without Alice to distract me, my thoughts instantly flashed back to Forks. It was a testament to my feelings about everything I had left behind that my thoughts were preoccupied with Charlie and home more than the horrors we were headed for—the worse horrors we would find if we failed.

The truth was, my thoughts were not just centered on Charlie or home. My mind was racing with thoughts about Jacob. That last image of his sad face was burned into my memory. My heart ached from the fresh break I felt when I left him. I had to marvel at the fact that even though there was a chance—if we were very, very, very lucky—I would see Edward, save Edward, my thoughts were more on Jacob. Besides, nothing had changed between Edward and I—nothing had changed about our relationship. He still didn’t want me. There was no reason for me to want to see him.

But Jacob I did want to see. I wanted to beg his forgiveness, to apologize for leaving him like that—with so much unsaid between us. I couldn’t think about it for too long, it hurt too much.

They showed a movie, and my neighbor got headphones. Sometimes I watched the figures moving across the little screen, but I couldn’t even tell if the movie was supposed to be a romance or a horror film.

After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward New York City. Alice remained in her trance. I dithered, reaching out to touch her, only to pull my hand back again. This happened a dozen times before the plane touched down with a jarring impact.

“Alice,” I finally said. “Alice, we have to go.”

I touched her arm.

Her eyes came open very slowly. She shook her head from side to side for a moment.

“Anything new?” I asked in a low voice, conscious of the man listening on the other side of me.

“Not exactly,” she breathed in a voice I could barely catch. “He’s getting closer. He’s deciding how he’s going to ask.”

We had to run for our connection, but that was good—better than having to wait. As soon as the plane was in the air, Alice closed her eyes and slid back into the same stupor as before. I waited as patiently as I could. When it was dark again, I opened the window to stare out into the flat black that was no better then the window shade.

I found myself wondering what I could possibly say to Charlie when—I refused to think if—I got back. And Jacob? Poor sweet, Jacob. He’d promised to wait for me, but did that promise still apply? Would I end up home alone in Forks, with no one at all? Would Charlie even let me stay after this?

It felt like seconds later when Alice shook my shoulder—I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep.

“Beau,” she hissed, her voice a little too loud in the darkened cabin full of sleeping humans.

I wasn’t disoriented—I hadn’t been out long enough for that.

“What’s wrong?”

Alice’s eyes gleamed in the dim light of a reading lamp in the row behind us.

“It’s not wrong.” She smiled fiercely. “It’s right. They’re deliberating, but they’ve decided to yell him no.”

“The Volturi?” I muttered, groggy.

“Of course, Beau, keep up now. I can see what they’re going to say.”

“Tell me.”

An attendant tiptoed down the aisle to us. “Can I get either of you a pillow?” His hushed whisper was a rebuke to our comparatively loud conversation.

“No, thank you.” Alice beamed up at him, her smile was shockingly lovely. The attendant’s expression was dazed as he turned and stumbled his way back.

“Tell me,” I breathed almost silently.

She whispered into my ear. “They’re interested in him—they think his talent could be useful. They’re going to offer him a place with them.”

“What will he say?”

“I can’t see that yet, but I’ll bet it’s colorful.” She grinned again. “This is the first good news—the first break. They’re intrigued; they truly don’t want to destroy him—‘wasteful,’ that’s the word Aro will use—and that may be enough to force him to get creative. The longer he spends on his plans, the better for us.”

It wasn’t quite enough to make me hopeful, to make me feel the relief she obviously felt. There were still so many ways that we could fail. And if we had to face the Volturi, I wouldn’t be able to see Charlie or Jacob again.

“Alice?”

“What?”

“I’m confused. How are you seeing this so clearly? And then other times, you see things far away—things that don’t happen?”

Her eyes tightened. I wondered what she was thinking of my question.

“It’s clear because it’s immediate and close, and I’m concentrating. The faraway things that come on their own—those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, I see my kind more easily than yours. Edward is even easier because I’m so attuned to him.”

“You see me sometimes,” I reminded her.

She shook her head. “Not as clearly.”

I sighed. “Sometimes I wish you had seen that all this would happen. In the beginning, I mean.” I rubbed my temples. “Hell, you once even saw me becoming one of you someday.”

She sighed. “It was a possibility at the time.”

I laughed, once. It was a joyless laugh.

“Actually, Beau…” She hesitated, and then seemed to make a choice. “Honestly, I think it’s all gotten beyond ridiculous. I’m debating whether to just change you myself.”

I jumped and stared at her, frozen with shock.

“Did I scare you?” she wondered. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“I don’t know!” I gasped. “Maybe once I thought about it—considered it. I never decided for sure though and now, I don’t think it’s what I really want anymore.”

“Oh,” she seemed surprised. “Well, at least you’re being intelligent about it all.”

“Thanks?”

“It would be foolish, anyway,” she said, waving her hand. “Edward would be furious.”

“I think I’ll take my chances being the human amongst the vampires and werewolves, Alice.” I deadpanned.

She laughed at that. “You are so bizarre, even for a human.”

“Thanks, I try.”

“Well, there are more important things to worry about. Like, living through tomorrow.”

“Good point.” I wondered if I would want that—if I would want to be like the Cullens. Maybe I could be powerful and strong and Edward would want me back? Would I want that, though? When I could just be me, be human, and be with Jacob? I couldn’t think about all this. I didn’t have a future right now. I only had the present.

“Go back to sleep,” she encouraged me. “I’ll wake you up when there’s something new.”

“Right,” I mumbled, certain sleep was a lost cause now. Alice pulled her legs up on the seat, wrapping her arms around them and leaning her forehead against her knees. She rocked back and forth as she concentrated.

I rested my head against the seat, watching her, and the next thing I knew, she was snapping the shade closed against the faint brightening of the Eastern sky.

“What’s happening?” I mumbled.

“They’ve told him no,” she said quietly. I noticed at once that her enthusiasm was gone.

My voice was wary. “What’s he going to do?”

“It was chaotic at first. I was only getting flickers, he was changing plans so quickly.”

“What kinds of plans?” I pressed.

“There was a bad hour,” she whispered. “He’d decided to go hunting.”

She looked at me intently, and I understood.

“In the city,” I breathed.

“It got very close.” She continued. “He changed his mind at the last minute.”

“He wouldn’t want to disappoint Carlisle,” I mumbled. He’d break Carlisle’s heart getting himself killed, but he wouldn’t want to disappoint him.

“Probably,” she agreed.

“Will there be enough time?” As I spoke, there was a shift in the cabin pressure. I could feel the plane angling downward.

“I’m hoping so—if he sticks to his latest decision, maybe.”

“What is that?”

“He’s going to keep it simple. He’s just going to walk out into the sun.”

Just walk out into the sun. That was all.

It would be enough. The image of Edward in the meadow—glowing, shimmering like his skin was made of a million diamond facets—was burned into my memory. No human who saw that would ever forget. The Volturi couldn’t possibly allow it. Not if they wanted to keep their city inconspicuous.

I looked at the slight gray glow that shone through the opened windows. “We’ll be too late,” I whispered in frustration.

She shook her head. “Right now, he’s leaning towards the melodramatic.”

“Oh, is he? Wow, I’m shocked.” I glared at her.

She ignored me. “He wants the biggest audience possible, so he’ll choose the main plaza, under the clock tower. The walls are high there. He’ll wait till the sun is exactly overhead.”

“So we have till noon?”

“If we’re lucky. If he sticks with this decision.”

“He’ll go for the drama,” I sighed. “He’ll stick with it.”

The pilot came on over the intercom, announcing, first in Italian and then in English, our imminent landing. The seat belt lights dinged and flashed.

“How far is it from Florence to Volterra?”

“That depends on how fast you drive… Beau?”

“Yes?”

She eyed me speculatively. “How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?”

A bright yellow Porsche screamed to a stop a few feet in front of where I paced, the word TURBO scrawled in silver cursive across its back. Everyone beside me on the crowded airport sidewalk stared.

“Hurry, Beau!” Alice shouted impatiently through the open passenger window.

I ran to the door and threw myself in, feeling as though I might as well be wearing a black stocking over my head.

“Sheesh, Alice,” I complained. “Could you pick a more conspicuous car to steal?”

The interior was black leather, and the windows were tinted dark. It felt safer inside, like nighttime.

Alice was already weaving, too fast, through the thick airpot traffic—sliding through tiny spaces between the cars as I cringed and fumbled for my seat belt.

“The important question,” she corrected, “is whether I could have stolen a faster car, and I don’t think so. I got lucky.”

“I’m sure that will be very comforting at the roadblock.”

She trilled a laugh. “Trust me, Beau. If anyone sets up a roadblock, it will be behind us.” She hit the gas then, as if to prove her point.

I probably should have watched out the window as first the city of Florence and then the Tuscan landscape flashed past with blurring speed. This was my first trip anywhere, and maybe my last, too. But Alice’s driving frightened me, despite the fact that I knew I could trust her behind the wheel. Besides, I was too filled with anxiety to really see the hills or the walled towns that looked like castles in the distance.

“Do you see anything more?”

“There’s something going on,” Alice muttered. “Some kind of festival. The streets are full of people and red flags. What’s the date today?”

I wasn’t sure so I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check. “Uh, it’s the nineteenth.”

“Well, that’s ironic. It’s Saint Marcus Day.”

“Which means?”

She chuckled darkly. “The city holds a celebration every year. As the legend goes, a Christian missionary, a Father Marcus—Marcus of the Volturi, in fact—drove all the vampires from Volterra fifteen hundred years ago. The story claims he was martyred in Romania, still trying to drive away the vampire scourge. Of course that’s nonsense—he’s never left the city. But that’s where some of the superstitions about things like crosses and garlic come from. Father Marcus used them so successfully. And vampires don’t trouble Volterra, so they must work.” Her smile was sardonic. “It’s become more of a celebration of the city, and a recognition of the police force—after all, Volterra is an amazingly safe city. The police get the credit.”

I was realizing what she meant when she’d said ironic. “They’re not going to be very happy if Edward messes things up for them on St. Marcus Day, are they?”

She shook her head, her expression grim. “No. They’ll act very quickly.”

I looked away, fighting against my teeth as they tried to break through the skin of my lower lip. Bleeding was not the best idea right now.

The sun was terrifyingly high in the pale blue sky.

“He’s still planning on noon?” I checked.

“Yes. He’s decided to wait. And they’re waiting for him.”

“Tell me what I have to do.”

She kept her eyes on the winding road—the needle on the speedometer was touching the far right on the dial.

“You don’t have to do anything. He just has to see you before he moves into the light. And he has to see you before he sees me.”

“How are we going to work that?”

A small red car seemed to be racing backward as Alice zoomed around it.

“I’m going to get you as close as possible, and then you’re going to run in the direction I point you.”

I nodded.

“Try not to trip,” she added. “We don’t have time for a concussion today.”

I glared back at her.

The sun continued to climb in the sky while Alice raced against it. It was too bright, and that had me panicking.

Maybe he wouldn’t feel the need to wait for noon after all.

“There,” Alice said abruptly, pointing to the castle city atop the closest hill.

I stared at it, feeling the very first hint of a new kind of fear. Every minute since yesterday morning—it seemed like a week ago—since Alice had spoken Edward’s name at the foot of the stairs, I had been filled with nothing but fear and panic. And now, as I stared at the ancient sienna walls and towers crowning the peak of the steep hill, I felt that fear and panic reach a high I never before thought was possible.

I supposed the city was beautiful. It absolutely terrified me.

“Volterra,” Alice announced in a flat, icy voice.

#New Moon Revamped #New Moon #New Moon Reimagined #New Moon Rewrite #Twilight Revamped #Twilight Reimagined #Twilight Rewrite #The Twilight Saga #The Twilight Saga Revamped #The Twilight Saga Reimagined #The Twilight Saga Rewrite #Beau Swan #Alice Cullen #2.19

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bazwillendinflames · 7 years

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Heros

Part one Ao3 The march wasn't quite as military as Quill would have liked. But she wasn't working with an army, although they had the forces to easily take down the very man they were protesting against. Quill had sharpened the edge of her sign just in case. Maybe the annoying thing controlling her wouldn't mind. Or the Arhn. "Miss Quill?" Tanya had put on a jacket covered in pins. She held her sign up high. She seemed proud to fight the patriarchy. (She wasn't entirely sure who they were but they better look out if Tanya Adeola was coming for them.) Quill liked that in a solider - pride made a better spur than survival. "Yes?" Tanya had the same look on her face when she had first brought her coffee. Quill liked that look - it meant something good was coming. (She hoped for battle plans.) Tanya held out a little piece of metal. It had a picture of cat - which made it a little harder for Quill not to smile. The only thing holding her back was the bright colours. She was yet to see a cat which was pink. Perhaps she should google it, although the website reminded her too much of the Prince. It was probably the Doctor's fault - he recommended the website in the first place. "It's a gift." Tanya explained. "I figured you might not get a lot so..." Quill took the small disk from her palm. It was rather cute and Quill did enjoy cats. It was pointy at the end too. Sharp things were always helpful. Quill already had a knife picked out if she got the Arhn out her head. It gave her something to look forward to (and a mild headache) whenever she thought about it. "Thank you." Quill sounded less bitter than usual. Tanya and April looked at her like she had turned into a Dalek. Tanya snapped out of it first. "Anytime Miss Quill." "What do I do with this?" Quill still hoped it was a weapon. But, as Tanya explained, it was only a decoration. The bright colours stood out on her black coat but Quill didn't care. Decorations could be lethal; it's why she owned pointed heels. "An army of woman." Quill said, looking around. "And yet no attacks." "We're stronger than we seem." April said. She looked strong already. She was the only person other than herself that Quill knew who could fight and win against the Shadow King. "Never underestimate a woman with a purpose." Tanya added. Quill smirked. It was different to smiling, so she didn't try to hide it. "I have never underestimated a woman." She gestured around them. "Look at our army. Who would dare underestimate this?" "Men." Tanya and April said at the same time. "Especially straight white males." Tanya added. "We had to fight for centuries to be respected." "And we still don't get that today." April gestured around them. "It's why we're here. To be heard." Quill wasn't sure what to say. Not being heard had a lot of meaning to it. Maybe that's why the Doctor had left them in 2016, to make a change the planet needed. "Once a freedom fighter, always a freedom fighter." Quill looked at her army of two. They were looking at her like they was expecting a speech. Into battle indeed. "Your planet may be backwards and your people mildly offensive, but we will stand strong." Tanya and April were looking at her with respect. Again. "We are woman. And we are soldiers." There was applause from a few other protesters. "You should do that professionally." A woman with wild and curly hair and dark skin approached them. "I like your sign." "It's her life motto," Tanya replied. "And it's kinda true." "I could have answered that myself Miss Adeola." Quill couldn't bring herself to glare at Tanya. She nodded at the woman's sign. It had a lot of glitter but an interesting message. "I like yours as well." Tanya said. The sign said 'I've met God, she's black.' The glitter was a little too much for Quill but if she judged every human, she wouldn't have enough hatred left for the people who mattered. "Thanks." The woman smiled at all three of them. "Bill." "I'm April." The brunette smiled. She was always doing that. "This is my friend Tanya and our teacher Miss Quill." "Great." Bill seemed very positive. Quill wasn't sure how to feel. "You're a good teacher than, inspiring them." Quill supposed inspiration worked both ways then. "I suppose." "I have to meet my friend." Bill said. "Or he'll wander off and cares chaos. But it was great talking to you all." She hurried off. "She was cool." April said. "I liked her shirt." "Of course she was cool. She was a feminist." Tanya smiled excitably. "This is amazing." "It could be improved by going with my suggestion." Quill said, looking at her sharpened sign. "I could do it quickly." "Please, no stabbing." April said quickly. "You don't want to be arrested again." "I've been in worst situations." Quill sighed and lowered her sign. Hopefully it's content was enough to show how dangerous she was. "Then prison?" Tanya asked. "Really?" Quill resisted the urge to laugh. Even if they didn't know her past; they knew her present. As if being ordered around by a stubborn prince who couldn't accept he had a kings duty of revenge to fulfil was fun. "You should have seen parents evening." She answered dryly. "Explain more of these signs to me." She pointed at a nearby one, held by a woman in a hijab. (Quill had researched it after having to intervene - and then terrify - a group of boys picking on a Muslim student.) "Why would a woman belong in a kitchen?" "Well, traditionally-" April started, only to be interrupted by Tanya. "In a time before we had rights." "Traditionally woman were supposed do all the housework and cooking." April finished. "Ridiculous." Quill said. She followed it with serval swear words that didn't translate to English. "How has your race survived if they had horrible men and a need to recreate?" Tanya giggled to herself. "It's dumb." April agreed. She dig her elbow into Tanya's side so she would stop laughing. "Besides the Polish boyfriend does the cooking." Quill added. "He does quite a good job." "Don't you call Matteusz by his name?" April asked. "No one calls me by my name." Quill snapped without thinking it though. The students called her by her chosen name - a pretend one for a pretend human. The Prince knew it but refused to acknowledge her as more than just a species. The silence that fell was heavy. "It hadn't occurred to me you had a different name." Tanya admitted quietly. The match around them was noisy but Quill was listening carefully. "I'm sorry." "You're sorry?" Quill gritted her teeth together. "I'm sure the prince would have got more than that." "What is it?" April asked. She looked, fearless as ever. "What is your real name?" The question held more than just a name. Quill had locked away the brave warrior life that she had once led away. Andra'ath was more than just her name. It was who she was before she was made an unwilling slave. Andra'ath would only cause more questions. Quill wasn't sure if she was willing to answer them. Thinking of the past involved a lover that had only a bracelet as a memory. It had the highs of being a leader and the lows of her life before it. The Doctor had said a name had a lot of meanings. Quill answered anyway. "My name was once Andra'ath." She didn't look at the girls. An army of two perhaps. But once Quill had an army of two hundred. In the past. Locked away. "Thank you for asking." "Andra'ath." Tanya repeated. "It suits you more than just Quill." "Andra'ath." April's pronunciation was better. "The name of a hero." Quill blinked back tears. It had been so long. Too long, since someone had asked her name. She was - at least to an army of a small scale - a hero. "Andra'ath was a hero. But Miss Quill is a slave." Quill strode ahead. "But I will still lead you into battle."

#class bbc #class dw #miss quill #april maclean #tanya adeola #my writing #fanfic

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permanenthairreplacement-blog · 4 years

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Oz Investigates Hair Loss Surgery

Hair Restoration Scams: How Far Would http://edition.cnn.com/search/?text=Fort Lauderdale FUT vs FUE Process You Go to Reverse Your Thinning Hair?

youtube

As seen on tv, investigative journalist Elisabeth Leamy raises concerns about the hair restoration clinic she visited. Then, Dr. Matt Huebner, an expert in hair restoration, reveals the questions you should ask before agreeing to a hair restoration treatment which may include a hair transplant.

Oz Investigates: Fue Hair Restoration

Be wary of unscrupulous hair restoration clinics' scams. Make sure you choose an honest and trustworthy hair transplant doctor and their clinic like the ones discussed in the video.

Watch this video about For Hair Transplant scams.

Audio Title: Hair Restoration - Scams Exposed by Dr. Oz

Duration Transcribed: 0:00:00 – 0:15:22

Number of Speakers: 6

Transcript

Dr. Oz: Hair Restoration Scams.

Clinic Counselor: We guarantee our work 100%.

Dr. Oz: Are some of them duping you and trying to steal your money?

Clinic Doctor: you’re going to be looking about 10 to 12 range.

Dr. Oz: We went undercover to find out.

[Music]

Dr. Oz: We’ll save lives today. [Music] We are good and healthy!

[Cheering]

Dr. Oz: All season long. We have been taking on scammers’ rigged systems and people out to get your money. The undercover investigation you’re about to see is going to make you angry. Because we’re exposing how some companies prey on women who feel shame and embarrassment about their hair loss. Investigative correspondent, Elisabeth Leamy is exposing hair restoration scams. And she’s asking the question, “How far would you go to reverse your hair thinning?”

Elisabeth Leamy: If you’re considering hair loss restoration, the first thing to keep in mind is “Buyer, Beware!” hair restoration is a booming business. Transplants are up 27% since 2012. And high-priced clinics offering foolproof results are popping up all over West Palm Beach Hair Regrowth Treatment so are the horror stories. These are pictures of hair loss surgeries gone wrong, excessive bleeding, infection, scarring, and failure to actually restore hair. Any of these serious side effects are possible when unscrupulous or unskilled doctors and technicians attempt the procedure without sufficient training.

That lack of training is more common than you might think. Thanks to companies that peddle 3-day training seminars and even online courses to physicians eager to cash in on this lucrative procedure. I went undercover with Anne, who suffers from thinning hair visiting a hair restoration clinic with appalling online reviews.

Anne: This part– what I mean over here…

Clinic Counselor: Yeah.

Anne: …like my hairline…

Clinic Counselor: Mm-hmm.

Anne: …is not what it used to be.

Elisabeth Leamy: We wanted to know just what they’re promising hopeful patients.

Anne: You’re guaranteeing the success of my operation?

Clinic counselor: We guarantee our work 100%

Elisabeth Leamy: Then why are there so many unsatisfied patients complaining?

Dr. Oz: Elisabeth Leamy is joining us. So what surprised you the most? You give her applause because it’s a very difficult thing to go undercover and get these folks to talk openly. So what surprised you the most about this experience?

Elisabeth Leamy: You know I went in thinking that hair restoration was something rich people did. But that waiting room we visited was absolutely hopping, jammed with ordinary looking, hard-working Americans who are somehow going to come up with the money to pay for this. Hoping to restore their hair and maybe they’re self-esteem too.

Dr. Oz: And I– and I’ve seen it firsthand and I know how painful it is to think that your hair has been playing for the other team. So this is not shocking to me that it’s crowded but what is shocking is what you found. Now listen, everybody, there are medications that do work for hair loss. We’ll talk about them later in the show. But there’s also a hair transplant surgery which we’re going to focus on right now. And when it’s done right, results are oh, impeccable! They look so natural.

As a doctor, I’ve seen that desperation in women’s eyes. They’ll do anything, you’ll do anything frankly, so old men could get their hair back that they have when they were young. So joining us now is a top hair restoration surgeon, perhaps in the country, arguably. So, Dr. Matt Heubner.

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Welcome to the show.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Thanks for having me.

Dr. Oz: So, you got a thousand or more of these procedures that…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Right.

Dr. Oz: …takes between 5 and 12 hours a lot…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Right.

Dr. Oz: …of effort.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Absolutely.

Dr. Oz: When you see these physicians conning these women, we’ll about to show some footages could– actually riveting on this.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yeah.

Dr. Oz: How does it affect you?

Dr. Matt Heubner: It makes me angry. I feel bad for the women who have to go through this. I mean it’s such an emotionally charged thing for a woman to lose her hair. And now you all of these places that are offering cheap hair transplants and preying on that and, you know, it’s very important to do your research correctly. You’re more likely to get a bad hair transplant than a good one nowadays. And unfortunately, if you don’t know how to do your research, you could be a prey to one of these scams.

Dr. Oz: So you get– if you’re– it’s 50/50 or worse to get a good procedure?

Dr, Matt Heubner: I don’t know the exact percentage is. This is from me having patients come in that are dissatisfied with prior results elsewhere. So, you know, looking around, I feel sorry for the consumer that has no idea and doesn’t know what to ask for.

Dr. Oz: So why do you call it the “Wild Wild West”? And most of the medicine is somehow regulated.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Correct. And I came from an emergency medicine background myself, so I understand that. But, hair transplant is not considered to be true surgery in the way that say, a breast augmentation would be or liposuction. And as such is not– it’s not regulated with the same rules and regulations. There is no board certification in hair transplant. It’s not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties. And that’s the problem.

Dr. Oz: All right, so how big a deal is this? How dangerous could it be if it’s not done well?

Dr. Matt Heubner: Well, certainly there are a lot of people now going to other countries, Pakistan, Turkey, India to get cheaper hair transplants. Just last year, a 22-year old medical student died…

Dr. Oz: Oh.

Dr. Matt Heubner: …three days after a hair…

Dr. Oz: Oh.

Dr. Matt Heubner: …transplant from a huge infection.

Dr. Oz: Mmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: This was a big center. This is a– they have 17 centers in India for this, OK? So, it’s very scary not only physically can it be dangerous, but what I see mostly in the US is the emotional scarring…

Dr. Oz: Right.

Dr. Matt Heubner: …that people, women…

Dr. Oz: Oh my God!

Dr. Matt Heubner: …especially are coming with.

Dr. Oz: So I’m looking at these pictures, I mean these are catastrophes.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. Oz: I mean I don’t– whether those are puncture holes they get to over the hair is in the top left…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Right.

Dr. Oz: …bottom left.

Dr. Matt Heubner: There are some different ways of doing hair transplants. In these foreign countries, the big push is something called FUE where they take little extractions individually from the back of the head rather than a strip. So, there’s all kind of complications that can occur. And if someone’s not trained the right way, it could be a disaster. My doctors that I trained, it takes at least nine months for them to become comfortable and where I feel comfortable of them putting out good work in representing our practice.

Dr. Oz: And how good does it look when it’s done right?

Dr. Matt Heubner: Absolutely incredible! I have hundreds of patients that can attest to how it’s changed their lives, giving them more confidence. Women that who can never wear their hair back in a ponytail are now going out publicly.

Dr. Oz: Here’s an example. This woman in this is before and after.

Dr. Matt Heubner: That’s Tanya, yeah. So, this is one of our patients that is a huge advocate for us with African-American hair. And it’s important to know African-American hair types are much different than Caucasian. In the experience of the technicians, doctor, it’s very important. It changed her life and she’s– she’s happy to talk about it, she has her own YouTube channel and everything.

Dr. Oz: And there’s a gentleman who’s got a pretty good result. So I– I have a friend actually recently had what I could not tell if he– anyway looks like before. So I know what good can be which is why it’s so infuriating when I see bad. So…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yes.

Dr. Oz: …we wanted to know what really is going on in this hair restoration scams. So Elisabeth Leamey bravely went undercover with one woman who is losing her hair to find out. What’s going to happen next will shock you. Stick around.

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Next, what really goes on inside these hair restoration clinics. Protect yourself from being scammed.

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Today, we’re revealing what’s really going on inside a popular hair restoration clinics. Are some of them duping you and trying to steal your money? Investigative correspondent, Elisabeth Leamy went undercover to find out.

Elisabeth Leamy: Anne who’s hair is thinning in the front has considered hair replacement. So she agreed to go undercover with us.

Anne: I would love to get my hair back the way it used to be, here, you know. But, I’m not sure if hair loss surgery is safe or effective.

Elisabeth Leamy: We did our homework reading online reviews about multiple hair restoration clinics. Then we got suited up with hidden camera gear and went for a visit to a well-known clinic. Right away, a surprise.

Clinic Counselor: Anne, the thing is I’m not a physician.

Elisabeth Leamy: The person who met with us initially was not a doctor. Even though hair restoration is a medical procedure. That made us wonder who would be doing the actual operation. In numerous reviews of multiple clinics, patients report crucial parts of hair restoration procedures being done by non-medical staffers instead of doctors.

And the doctors do the actual work?

Clinic Counselor: We have technicians that worked with the doctors. It’s like heart surgery…

Anne: The doctor–

Clinic Counselor: …they do–

Anne: They are…

Clinic Counselor: All they do day in and day out is under the microscope separating grafts.

Elisabeth Leamy: Wow.

Clinic Counselor: Maybe one of them– [Laughter] India.

Elisabeth Leamy: Huh!

But online, reviewers complained that some technicians are far less skilled than others leaving patients with erratic results.

Is there a chance of side effects or risks or injuries of some sort?

Clinic Counselor: Scar.

Elisabeth Leamy: From the–

Clinic Counselor: She will have a scar back here. But you’re never going to shave your head, are you?

Anne: I hope not.

Clinic Counselor: No.

[Laughter]

Clinic Counselor: No, no, no, no.

Elisabeth Leamy: The representative we met with downplayed the risks.

Clinic Counselor: There’s no long-term side effects or risks.

Elisabeth Leamy: But some patients have said, “I left bloodied” and described “Incredible amounts of pain during and after the surgery.” Plus, “An extreme sensation of tightness and pulling of my scalp that doesn’t go away.”

Clinic Counselor: We’ll be guarantee– yeah.

Anne: You’re guaranteeing the success of my operation?

Clinic Counselor: We guarantee our work 100%

Anne: Damn.

Clinic Counselor: The– any grafts that do not survive or grow normally will be replaced at no charge unless you don’t have sufficient donor hair then that would be a refund. And you be so

Anne: Oh, so you’re saying you’re not actually guaranteeing my result. But if they don’t…

Clinic Counselor: Oh, no, no.

Anne: If it doesn’t work–

Clinic Counselor: There are two to three patients a year that come back and aren’t happy.

Elisabeth Leamy: Many reviewers say after all they went through, there was virtually no improvement in their hair, with comments like, “I practiced patience but the results never came” and “One year later, I am bald to a point in need a wig.”

Clinic Counselor: here he is.

Elisabeth Leamy: Hello.

Clinic Doctor: Hi.

Anne: Hi.

Clinic Doctor: Pleased to meet you. what’s your name?

Anne: Anne.

Clinic Doctor: Anne.

Elisabeth Leamy: But when Anne finally met the doctor, he declared her an excellent candidate for hair restoration.

Clinic Doctor: She’s a very good candidate. Look at that curl– look what you have!

Clinic Counselor: Yeah

Elisabeth Leamy: And the estimated cost for the procedure?

Clinic Doctor: so you’re going to be looking about 10k to 12k range.

Elisabeth Leamy: That’s 10 to 12,000.00 dollars.

Anne: That’s a lot for some hair.

Elisabeth Leamy: At that price, you have to use your head if you’re thinking about restoring your hair.

Dr. Oz: Elisabeth Leamy and Anne are here.

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Anne, if Elisabeth hasn't been with you, you think you would have paid 10 to 12,000.00 dollars to have this done?

Anne: If money was no object, I would have fallen for it, totally! Because the salesman, his pitch was flawless.

Dr. Oz: Mm-hmm.

Anne: And, it’s– he had done the operation himself. He had the procedure done himself. So he showed me his before and after pictures and I would– you know, I would have been convinced. He started out the pricing in like a lower level. But then like, once the doctor came in, he– the price practically doubled.

Dr. Oz: Why?

Elisabeth Leamy: He said she’s going to need two treatments.

Anne: Yeah, because I would need two.

Elisabeth Leamy: Suddenly the price was going up.

Anne: Yeah.

Dr. Oz: So, Elisabeth what brilliant depth to this investigation? When you actually saw the pitches and the proposals, what bothered you the most?

Elisabeth Leamy: It felt like a business instead of a doctor’s office. I mean the first person we met what he’s called the counselor. But come West Palm Beach Hair Growth For Women on, he was a salesman.

Anne: Totally.

Elisabeth Leamy: And the educational brochures, those were marketing brochures. I know what a marketing brochure looks like. And he even offered Anne a line of credit. Basically a credit card…

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Elisabeth Leamy: …to pay for the procedure. This was a business.

Dr. Oz: And like they’re selling you a car, basically.

Anne: Yeah, pretty much.

Dr. Oz: Doctor, you witnessed this?

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yeah.

Dr. Oz: As an expert in the field, what did you think about that? What would you have told West Palm Beach Hair Loss Remedies Anne if you’re honest about this procedure?

Dr. Matt Heubner: Sure. So, couple things. One would be there was no– nobody brings up the idea about testing. So, just because you lost your hair doesn’t mean that everyone’s a candidate for a hair transplant. There are many medical diseases, things– thyroid condition, for example, hormone imbalances which can cause hair loss. There are also conditions which can have you lose your hair which don’t respond well to a hair transplant.

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Inflammatory conditions that will require a biopsy before getting a transplant. And this has really lost a lot of the time. When people meet with the salesperson, that’s the last thing on their mind because that doesn’t allow them to sell you surgery.

Anne: Mmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: The second thing I would tell you is technicians that the doctor works with are just as important as the doctor. They are the ones cutting your grafts up and they are the ones placing it. So there are very different types of technicians and based on experience. So you can have a technician. And by the way, there’s no school for technicians.

Anne: Mmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: This is something that’s taught on the job.

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: So there’s [0:12:31.6] [Crosstalk]

Dr. Oz: Don’t be first.

Elisabeth Leamy: …on you.

Dr. Matt Heubner: It’s scary. Again, Wild Wild West, it’s true. So these are the important questions to ask. So, you know, I’ve seen patients come in from other places unsatisfied where one half of their head was great and the other half was completely different. It was almost like two different surgeries. And what’s happened is you have an experienced technician and inexperienced technician on different sides of the head. So that’s–

Dr. Oz: The big story here, it didn’t have to happen to you Anne. Thank goodness you had Elisabeth with you. But everybody at home, I want you to have the right tools that can take control of your health, so we’re laughing not crying. And you can control your wallet most effectively as well. So doctor, you– reveal some tools we can all use right now.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Sure. So, you know the first thing I would tell you is make sure you do your research, very, very important. Some people just go in and say, “Well, this a big company. I don’t need to do the research.”

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Make sure you research your doctor. Ask how many doctors are in the practice. A real transplant takes a doctor anywhere from 5 to 12 hours to do a surgery.

Dr. Oz: Mmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: So, ask how many patients do you do a day? If the answer is any more than two, run away as fast as you can. You cannot be in that room for that long. So a lot of doctors, unfortunately, have the text doing all the work and they’re in their office on the Internet or maybe even doing a plastic surgery case and not really involved.

Dr. Oz: all right. So, ask the questions, you always have to do that. Make sure the MD is doing the procedure otherwise you’re going to have someone else, maybe the first time ever trying it out on your body.

Anne: Yes.

Dr. Oz: And then finally, if it’s too cheap to be true, we shouldn’t believe it.

Dr. Matt Heubner:

#Fort Lauderdale Hair Transplant #Ft. Lauderdale Hair Replacement Surgery #Fort Lauderdale Hair Transplant Surgeons

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gethealthy18-blog · 5 years

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Breaking Up With Instagram

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/news/breaking-up-with-instagram/

Breaking Up With Instagram

I’ve always been a believer that life unfolds through a combination of fate and free will. Some things are destined to happen, while others you are left with the power to determine your direction. I completely believe that meeting Curt was predestined. We had 3 years of opportunity to meet each other but timing is everything and we met exactly when we were supposed to meet (on the last possible day we could have, I might add). Starting the blog on the other hand was a result of free will. I don’t think I was “meant to start a blog” and that it was written in the stars to happen. I simply made a choice and let passion drive me forward. What unfolded has been a beautiful journey from which I have learned an endless series of lessons. Whether by fate or free will, every experience has molded and shaped me into the person I am today.

Along the way I’ve always had an innate sense of when something felt “right” or “off”. Call it a gut feeling, instinct or sixth sense, mine has never seemed to falter even when it sounded a little crazy. It told me to go into that grungy basement in Montreal where I first met Curt and to buy TheHealthyMaven.com on a chilly fall morning in 2012. It told me to take the leap and move to San Francisco (even when I cried everyday for the first month) and it spoke to me loud and clear when it was time to do yoga teacher training. That doesn’t mean its always felt good and it certainly doesn’t mean I’ve always trusted it, but when I have its all seemed to unfold exactly as it should.

Which brings me to today’s post – a post I’ve had written in my head for a couple months now – and how my gut is telling me that it’s time to break up with Instagram. But first some backstory…

When I started The Healthy Maven 7 years ago, Instagram was just in its infancy. I had an account (davida.kugelmass) where I very rarely shared blurry iPhone 4 pictures with ugly filters and strange white frames that had absolutely nothing to do with THM. A few months into starting the blog I noticed a trend of bloggers promoting their work and sharing a behind-the-scenes look at their lives over on Instagram. I was immediately hooked and slowly I began sharing more of my own life over there. And it felt good. Really good. I got to expand my community here and use it as a platform to encourage people to come back to the blog for healthy recipes and wellness tips. It also took the place of my weekend recaps and random ramblings giving me an opportunity to share more in “real time”.

In 2013, Instagram truly was shared in real time. People weren’t sharing highly curated images with perfect backdrops and even better hair. It was novel to get to see behind the curtain of your favorite celebrity or influencer. I should add that “influencer” wasn’t even a term yet. I remember how much I enjoyed following along on Instagram and I certainly wasn’t immune to the attention THM was getting over there. It quickly became a place for easy validation and a sense of community, when I didn’t necessarily feel like I had that in real life.

But that was 7 years ago. Today Instagram is a different place. It is a combination of overly curated, unrealistic versions of “reality” on the feed and extreme oversharing and vulnerability vomit over on stories. Admittedly, I have very much been a part of this. I, like most bloggers, felt the need to keep up as the industry moved into more fast-paced, eye-catching images rather than long-form content like you see here on the blog. Despite always feeling far more connected to the blog than to Instagram, I felt pressure to stay relevant on both. And I sense I’m probably not alone in this.

Over the last year I’ve felt myself creating more and more distance between Davida, The Healthy Maven and Instagram. At one point in my life I loved sharing the nitty gritty details of my everyday. But as I’ve gotten older, I feel less inclined and no longer believe that it serves me or you to share every moment of my life. This has created somewhat of an identity crisis as I establish more boundaries between me (Davida) and my business (The Healthy Maven). Understandably so because for many years my identity was The Healthy Maven. I shared everything. And therefore Davida = The Healthy Maven. But now, The Healthy Maven isn’t just me. It’s Tanya, and Georgia and Jess and Eilise. It’s you guys and your stories and the recipes that feed your families and the cleaner beauty products you’ve switched to. It’s no longer about what I meal-prepped for the week or what Curt and I did for date night last Tuesday. Those things may be entertaining, but they aren’t useful or resourceful. And that’s the big realization I have come to…

I want The Healthy Maven to be a resource for you, but I don’t want my life to be a source of entertainment for anyone but me and my friends and my family. This is inherently what Instagram is, a source of entertainment. Sure, you can post recipes and useful tips but it’s a platform that thrives on pretty images and witty captions. The meaty stuff, the deep stuff, the stuff that can help you make profound changes in your life (and that have profoundly changed mine) have always and will always live on the blog. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks as my gut screamed at me to make a change. It told me without hesitation or uncertainty that it was time to take a long, extended break from Instagram.

And so I am choosing to listen. I’m believing that the value I offer and will continue to offer will thrive here on the blog and the podcast without the use of Instagram. I’m trusting that the people who are meant to find tips for surviving a cold, or seasonal allergies (or SHINGLES!) holistically will find me and that you know I’m your girl when you’re trying to find the best clean foundation or concealer. I hope I can continue to help feed you and your families everyday and that you’ll tune into the podcast each week to be inspired by a new voice in health and wellness.

Over the last year I’ve slowly been decreasing the use of the platform and distancing my life from stories. I stopped sharing every meal, my weekends away with Curt, our hangouts with friends and precious time spent with family. I’ve taken more days off from Instagram than I ever had before and created a bigger barrier by scheduling posts and having Tanya share some things so I could have a break. And it’s felt really great. For the first time in my life I truly feel like I am living my life for me. I spent most of my life leading up to starting the blog living my life for other people. I then started The Healthy Maven and my life revolved around living a life for you. Making sure it was entertaining, authentic and inspiring. But what I’m now realizing is that the most authentic version of me isn’t living her life for other people, but instead trusting my gut when it tells me to make a change. I can only hope that this decision can also be inspiring to you, but I’m letting go of needing that validation.

A few other thoughts I need to get out of my brain:

-How long will I be gone for? I don’t know. I’m expecting at least a couple of months but likely more. There is of course the chance I don’t return…who knows! Only time will tell.

– I really thought of not announcing this or saying anything (TBH it feels kind of silly having to announce your exit for a social media platform), but I didn’t want you to worry or create any kind of stir. I wanted to address it head on and make sure that you know I’m still doing great.

-Speaking of which, this is not some nervous breakdown where I’m going AWOL. Everything will remain as is on the blog and the podcast. I genuinely love working on both of these and they are truly what drives me to show up here everyday. While I may no longer be The Healthy Maven, it remains my favorite platform of choice to use my voice and share my work, something I hope I can continue to do for a long time.

– I truly believe our culture has a very real addiction to social media. I urge you to evaluate your use of social media and the content you are consuming. Question whether or not you find something inspiring or if it adds joy to your life. If it doesn’t, take a moment to ask yourself why it doesn’t (we can learn a lot from our triggers) and then unfollow. Set a social media timer on your phone and actually stick to your allotted time, and from time to time move the apps around your phone so you aren’t unconsciously opening them without any thought. Also I highly recommend you read Irresistible by Adam Alter which discusses in detail our addiction to technology and the physiological effects that social media has on our brains.

-Yes, I’ve had to communicate this to brands I work with and no it hasn’t been all positive. It’s been very eye-opening for me how seriously people take Instagram and how much weight they put in a social media platform. I’m still in the process of sorting everything out so it’s been a little messy. Just being transparent with you.

-I’m so excited to get the 2ish hours of my days back that I normally spend on Instagram. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with them, but I’m excited to find out!

So how can we stay in touch?

Of course I’ll be here on the blog and sharing a new podcast episode each week (unless otherwise noted) and YouTube videos for green beauty favorites. You can always check in here for the latest, but I also encourage you to sign-up for the THM Tribe Newsletter so you’ll get a once-weekly email with the latest posts, episodes and videos straight to your inbox. You can also subscribe on iTunes (or your podcast player) and YouTube so you’re notified when a new episode is live.

Sign-up for the THM Weekly Newsletter HERE.

I still have so many thoughts on this subject that I’m sure I’ll be sharing another update in a few months. I imagine some distance from Instagram will be very enlightening for me.

As always, thank you for supporting THM and trusting this crazy gut of mine. I know I don’t always make the most conventional decisions but I so appreciate you always respecting my choices even if they seem a little out there. I feel so lucky and grateful for this community. Truly, thank you.

NOW – let’s go back to using the comment function on blogs! Would love to hear from you guys below. I’ll be here answering comments!

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wnsyafira-blog · 7 years

Text

2017;

So where do I start? My life changed, 360 degree. Thats for sure. I spent most of my 2017, 11 months to be exact, in Dengkil. I was doing my Foundation in Law, I graduated with a CGPA of 3.59. I did pretty good for my second semester to be compared to my first semester...hahah I got straight A’s, with a GPA of 3.85. It was hard tho. I sacrificed all my social life for it. I deactivated my Instagram hahaha if you know me well, yall will know how I love posting picture on Instagram. But it was totally worth it, I shall say? Well I kinda ignored my boyfriend, we don’t really talk to each other everyday. Ignored my best friend as well. I wonder if Aike still read my tumblr tho. I dont think he will. I am pretty sure he dont even know this page exists? He tends to forget little things like this. I learnt alot. It was my first time of living alone on my own from my family. I learnt to wake up at 6 in the morning everyday, by my own self. Without mama have to knock my door and shout at me. I learnt to make my own breakfast. I learnt mostly everything, things that I dont have to do at home. It was pretty tough at first. But I was blessed with good souls there that make me learn these things. Despite all of that, the main highlight here is, I get to know people. I learn to acknowledge different character of humans. Aisyah, or Eca. She is my roommate for 2 semesters, we got close to each other after 2 weeks I guess? On our last semester, we were placed in the same class, L13. I was kind of scared tbh? Bcs I am more comfortable to not have the same class because ya know, its quite challenging if you were to see each other alot, the chances to gaduh or get misunderstand is higher ya get me? And yes, its true tho.. we kinda had a little fight not really a fight but a silent treatment thing if that makes sense? But it got sorted out pretty quick. Shes nice. But I ever since she got close to Jo, she would choose Jo over me which is pretty sad, but its okay. Maybe I am not a good listener/adviser. Maybe Jo is a better friend for her. I got over this anyway! Auni, she is my jiran depan hahaha our jodoh is quite strong, we were placed in the same class for 2 semesters straight! Man, this is my bae. My bae! We were very clingy to each other. I freaking love Auni, I have no words to describe my love for her. I can feel that she is very sincere to be my friends. But, I believe that things are not always good. We got a little misunderstand over something really small and we got drifted apart ever since. It was totally heartbreaking for me, it got sorted out but yeah after the fights, it was kind of awkward for us to be back to normal I assumed? And I started to distance myself from her because I was kinda terasa because she kept to her own self about her problems...I mean..its fine but it was frustrating seeing your friends sedih? And even more, I told Auni almost everything and she did not anggap me the same thing. i mean, I thought I was your best friend? But if I were to choose one person, I would definitely go for Auni. She is the nicest person. Wafa. This one is totally complicated. I love Wafa, I love our friendship. I would do anything for her. I hate watching her crying. I was there whenever she cried, because man, she did the same thing. We got each other’s back. I hate it when people talk bad about Wafa because I know her true self. She is not always bad, she is a really good friend. Shes the type of person who would come over whenever you are having a bad day even if its 2 in the morning, yes that is Wafa. But I guess she dont anggap me how I anggap her. Maybe I am just another friend. She cut me off from her circle macam tu je even when I asked her ‘’hey is there anything wrong between us? If ada, please let me know.’’ She said nothing is wrong but I can totally sense something. Its okay, I will always pray for her happiness. Syed Syafiq, people would always sees us together. Whenever ada Nadia, ada Syafiq and the other way round. We helped each other. Whenever I have a problem, I would talk to him, hes 25 this year, so I kinda preferred to talk to him because he always sees problem differently. And whenever Syafiq have a money problem, he’ll always find me. I dont mind though, because I know he helped me alot. But yeah, things are not always good, again. He ignored my text, my calls after we finished foundation. I wonder what went wrong, what did I do...and soon enough, on 11/12/2017, I found out he went to UM’s bachelor of Laws interview, I never knew there was an intake for UM. He never told me, I felt betrayed, because we freaking did everything together I spent my whole study week with him. We studied for our first semester’s final, together, we ate during our study week together, we shared our notes, we freaking shared everything hahahah I cried for 2 days straight? yeah. I dont get out of my room for 2 days. I skipped my meals, I went out for toilet only when my parents were sleeping. When we were applying for UITM’s intake, we were doing it together....I even asked Ema to help him out to tanya the lecturer if we can apply for Econs..but it wasnt his fault anyway. Its my own fault to be exact, I yang tak aware that there were an intake for UM. But if you were in my shoes, you’ll understand. Theres alot more to describe. But these 4 are the main friends back in Dengkil. I dont hate them, never. Because of these 4, I learnt alot. Maybe its not them. Maybe its me. My main problem about me that I noticed is, I always expect more from them. Maybe if I dont have such expectations, things wont ended this way. Maybe if I anggap them as friend, only friend, not a freaking best friend, I dont have to cry every night thinking of them. Basically in 2018, in my next life, in my next steps of life, I would not be too nice to others. I have to learn to say no. I will learn to be heartless..... I swear I was too nice. Too nice. I ran to the main gate in my pyjamas when I was sleeping because my friend called me suruh bayar uber, not once, twice. I sacrificed my money to bagi pinjam to my friend while that time I only have 50 bucks to survive, I split it into 2. I bagi dia 25, and I 25. I can simply say no but I dont have the heart to say so? I did my friend’s debate speech because he was busy? I paid for every printing work. They never pay me back or even bother asking ‘’berapa eh print tadi?’’. But God is fair enough, I got pretty good marks and results. I was too nice of offering all of my food stocks, i only got to makan roti with nutella thrice then I found out dah habis. After everything pun, they never anggap I as best friend, there will be always another person as their best friend. I will just stay as another friend, yes. Another friend yang baik. Thats what I am.

#personal

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rexylafemme · 7 years

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day five of being alive another year and basking in the afterglow of it. embracing the preciousness of my own life, as i can so easily and readily do for others. last night, tres and i sat around a patio table in his backyard, too late too late to be awake, but running off of post-performance endorphins, fumes, relation. talking about the powerful communal bonds that exist in our lives, the sense of possibility and potential we all bring each other, that gratifying feeling of nourishment, empowerment, creativity, change. on a day like today, i’m glad we had last night. today has been one of sitting with contradictions—despair, grief, gnawing rage after what happened with healthcare today and that trash executive order, too. to walk around and see children laughing anyway. to walk around and for mundane nyc conversations to be happening anyway. holding onto those small appreciations, despite the grip of fear/anxiety/rage, that clawing. letting myself feel that, letting myself sit for a minute in the grass with the sun on my face, listen to a song and give some space to the fluttery butterfly feeling in my stomach, the feathers ruffling in my little heart.

i got off work after 11 on friday night and stopped over at tres and tanya’s. we were all so sleepy, but so happy to see each other, heart-friends. they said i was glowing, bright-seeming lately. yeah. we had one shot of whiskey at midnight and had a mariah carey sing-along. their advice for me: go all in, surrender to the feelings you have. we can never know what’s going to happen, what comes down the line, which is why we should go for what we want. to trust what we want and what feels good, enjoy it, follow it. to believe in what you’ve built and the work and intention you’ve put into getting where you are now and where you want to go.

i said go big or go home. and then i did go home. laughing on my bike, cruising down the wide dark avenue parallel to greenwood, the smell of grass and so-sweet blooming trees riding on the invisible waves of wind hitting my face. i thanked basquiat. i made it through. i was alive. a few days before, it was gray and misty all day long, but i was restless. i walked to greenwood and took tons of pictures of all the new plants and flowers and trees and bushes, graves. i decided to visit basquiat’s grave and do a ritual there. i offered him flowers i picked, i drew him, and i wrote him a letter. i was thinking a lot about my 27th year coming to a close, living with the irrational fear i would die. having at one time or another been obsessed with many in the 27 club: amy, jimi, kurt, janis, jean-michel, and jim. all the pain we shared. not wanting to be frozen in time, wanting as much of it i can get my hands on, as much time and life and love and abundance as i can get my hands on, as much i can give back and multiply. the difference between desire and avarice hinges upon giving and receiving, tending, not taking, or expecting, or entitlement. nothing i have i own. nothing i want is mine. everything shared.

so, i sat on a damp marble bench behind basquiat’s grave, white sunlight through the dense white sheet of sky cast over everything bright and green and wet and colorful; verdant and juicy and creating such a contrast against the starkness. and, yes, mistakes and, yes, death and, yes, uncertainty, and, yes, wounds, and yes, questions. but, mostly hope. mostly a will to continue, power forth and forward and thoughts on upward spirals, the ascending staircases arranged in fractals that my spirit follows. all the doorways and the windows to walk through, being up from the cellar now. or the bomb shelter, or the panic room. the safe i kept my heart locked up in. the body that was itself a cage where all the broken, feral parts were stored away. the power they had, though, motivating such a craving to escape. do whatever you can. get out. times maybe i was close to following a bad habit down the road to my own death. the week before having watched the rose with femme blood family, thinking of the thorns we’ve all been. thinking of the three little children we were inside these oversized human suits. the ones that aren’t satisfied with anything less than brilliance. the ones that have been drawn to recklessness, excess. always wanting to feel something else, wanting us to be something else. did i forget we were cut from the same cloth? did i forget we mourned the same people, same times? i have held their choices against them, i have held their lives against them, at times, while expecting them to never do that to me. so bratty, so childish. and to them i will always be young, but also the infant with ancient eyes, as they said when i was born.

how much we say without speaking. the things we tell each other underneath the stories. things like i see you, things like i know you are hurting, things like don’t be ashamed, things like i know you. things like i love you. i think we’ve spent so much time feeling heartbroken for each other. so much desire for someone to be safe and healthy and happy and whole, you don’t know what to do with it. it just sloshes around in your blood pumped out from your sore heart. our. we feel each other.

when i got home after tres and tanya’s, it was officially my birthday. tyler and i sat in the living room on the couch together. he did a reading of my solar return chart for the year. my subconscious is a huge focus and a hotbed of activity this year—in a kind of wild, creative way from influences of aries and sagitarrius, but stabilized and slowed down by taurus and venus. i’m being told to face and unleash what i repress through creativity and embodiment. that my body is an instrument in my own healing. and so is whatever i make with it. i’m being told to realize that what i create spiritually and what i express has wider influential reach to others. he said i bring out the spiritual warriors in others, especially through my work. that i’m drawn to the fight in others and in myself and i have connective power. moon and node placements move me to trust my intuition and integrate it into everything that i do. this year is a good year for learning new skills and how to keep living differently. it’s a good year for pursuing dreams and big collaborations. new ways of being. new ways of being with others. the process of growth and learning will be exciting, welcome, and transformative. i’ll grow a lot emotionally and a lot will get released. i will lose and gain myself through my work and what i create/contribute. i desire balance. i want everything, but i have to take it one step at a time and trust i will achieve my goals and get what i desire.

what this says to me, also, is to sink into the ways things feel new and different. that i shouldn’t always be waiting for the floor to fall out from under me, just because i am used to that sort of thing. i put down the floor, i built the foundations and they’re solid. feel good. trust in me. trust what feels true and real.

in the cemetery, after my ritual, i shed some tears, not nearly as many as i need to shed, but i was grateful for a little release. i saw eyes patterned on trees. i stood still and made eye contact with a groundhog. as i was leaving, i stood in the grass with about 25 of the greenwood parrots around me, in the grass, on the trees. they swooped past my face. they were boisterous and yelling at each other and moving too much, i couldn’t get a good picture. sometimes you just have to be there, be in it, take note in yourself.

i want to go into the magic of the in bloom show, but that feels like it needs its own space. i do want to share two of the poems i read from that night, though, because they feel related to all the life/death, shadow/light, bloom talk.

gently through my shadow

sometimes i walk the streets

of my home city, beer bottle glass crunching

under feet, graves to my right, trains

to my left wondering why i am

here, & not living

in a one-room box i built myself in the forest

no one can reach—gridless , me with just atlas, a tape deck, some lace

& paper flowers, a notebook, upside-down herbs

lining all the walls, & Stevie Nicks

in the background as i am

all Misty Day twirling in circles

with my scarves swirling around me, craving

a tribe, but knowing what we humans do, so

don’t come for me, don’t call to me,

but do come for me, call to me?—conflicted,

sea-of-love-drowned, downcast androgynous

femme radagast, friends with all the animals

& plants, misanthropic old-soul / baby-face, speaking to creatures like st. francis, but more

prophetic, less catholic & now here

i go again, i see the crystal vision i keep

my visions to myself—

write a poem about them instead—poet

of my heart—self, never change & don’t you ever stop— drowning? in dreams

i remember

how to breathe underwater, sometimes i am so far from the surface, i can almost find happiness there in my element amidst sunken ships, schools of fish, & just me floating— how long ago did you lose yourself— an echo travels backwards through walls of timeless ocean and asks again—how long? your scales so smooth & beautiful, years, iridescent, hexagonal pieces of you— it’s like you’ve always been this gone, this mysterious deep sea creature— is it in your skin or is it a defense mechanism, hiding— do you know? the difference, intricacies of your makeup and what it means to you when an eye casts itself upon them? & didn’t you know fins for swimming evolve into wings eventually? & haven’t you been waiting to take off? go away isn’t the initial message i transmit, not the gut influence i get, but then i did say i was a cave-dweller & i wasn’t kidding—holy hermitage—oh mirror in the sky, is total solitude the same as bringing safety home with you?

i don’t know, i don’t know is it

some attempt at human care services, step by step metamorphosis, getting closer to being taken by the sky, no, but we do get ourselves there, somehow, don’t we? always overthinking—did she/he/they make you cry, make you break down, shatter your illusions of love? yes, and, but, is it over now? do you know how to pick up the pieces & go home? all i’ve known is evil witches: lousy lovers pick their prey— Fiona Goode burned the Myrtle Snow in me at the stake for my honor, self-defense & killer fashion sense—it was all control & morbid jealousy, rulers make bad lovers and other descendants: Madison Montgomery said she was my friend, called me a gutter rat, & then stole my beloved covering before throwing me into a coffin underground,

& when they dug me up & revived me for whatever reason, i spit up inky blood & thick mud, my own death, & said fuck this institution—feeling, competition, & who the supreme is—i won’t give a shit anymore, & i never did. in the stillness of remembering i’m better off dancing alone, i think like a cat in the dark and then i am the darkness—knee-deep

in the swamp—sewer channels of asheville, oakland, queens, or brooklyn, i am a dragon & then i turned around and the water was closing all around me—writing poetry & communing with crocodiles, black widow spiders, wearing a live snake stole and a cape of slime & ivy wrapped around me with micah swathed on my eyelids, majesty you can call me. but…

stand back stand back in the middle of my room if you touch me, i’ll scream. if you touch me, i’ll tell someone. if you touch me, i’ll never be the same again, i say it like it can only be a bad thing, & it isn’t, but it is the risk. i worry about feeling anything & coming up for air from within myself for someone to face me while Stevie sings have no fear, only love & i try to

listen to that advice, more than the thunder

only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing—but i’m stubborn, full of memories, venom, like a scorpion: i keep to myself, & i sting when cornered, but there are humans who are healing & open, i know because i am, & i can’t be the only one.

bloom wave

the trees are blooming in greenwood my favorite

graveyard playground, the sun is hitting

the glitter on my eyelashes, projecting pixels

in the periphery of my vision what a feeling,

serotonin and kinship all over the place, at home

here in brooklyn finally silver linings

are aware to me and anxiety is just a state

of consciousness i pass through on the road back toward

the center of myself, home, breathing doubt out

into fifty-three degree breezes on 40th st. walking

toward sunset park where i will sit and gaze at red hook

across the east river where my family was born

on conover st, end of the docks

on the waterfront where brando coulda been

a contender and my grandfather watched the lionhearted

majesty of my grandmother in the sun: a curious feeling

of wonder on a day like today, maybe

everything is kinda charmed and timeless, maybe eternity

looks on me and smiles, maybe infinity is inside me and

my heart is some prismatic thing that reflects and refracts

light off in a million directions and it won’t ever die again

in my beautiful trash heap of a city where people struggle

and fall in and out of love again and again with the streets they grew up and re-find themselves on every day years

later resonating their own histories in the present moment: a new gift

given back to old ancestries when people are sweet

to each other like peaches (but less vanilla)—

& on the corner, you can get the treats you want

from the bodega: honey buns, hershey’s kisses,

whatever suits yr preference, or down the block in all five boroughs

mr. softee transmitting his tin-tin ice cream truck music and italian ices at lemon ice king of corona in queens, all things signaling spring and inspiring all kinds of cuteness—children laughing,

clowning spraying each other in water fountains and

playful whirling down the slide into the arms of

april—

feeling like a teenager, all silly riding my bike

in the afternoon up and down hills round the neighborhood,

my thoughts on expanse, abundance, and chance,

saying to myself sometimes someone

says something really small and it just fits

right into this empty place in yr heart—

acting all sentimental, all poor trans adult angela chase with my messy bottle-fire hair, attempting tiger beat jean jacket pretty dreamboat in a hand-me-down striped ralph lauren sweater, leo/juliet, romeo/claire all in one

hand in my pocket & singing i’m lost, but

i’m hopeful and when you have rickie, rayanne, & other-kin

like yrself who needs anyone unavailable, too-cool, or

mostly straight—those withholding heartthrobs always

leaning away from you on brick walls blocking yr walking away in the halls of some sludgy stress dream where you never reach

where yr going & the face you touched was just an image

from the past that disappears

as yr waking— tired and wanting, unrequited—

the jordan catalanos who hated you secretly

for feeling, or who they couldn’t be for you as they wanted you only

kinda/sorta, singing s/he’s a place to rest my head, a suggestion

it coulda been you, but really their red wasn’t yr hair, it was a car

driving away to the desert— no bye cuz guys like them just go &

try to call you months later from a parking lot payphone—i’m wrong

and i’m sorry, baaaaaby? making you cry alone in yr bedroom,

& having you ask constantly why are you like this! all distant,

dumb-founded (huh? like what?)

…like…

like…

how you are?

and the answer always a shrug in the silence

between us.

going my own way and taking ownership of it—

so many spirits flow over

me and i love it oh, to be so pleasantly haunted

& embraceable for being true

is the actual thing

i’d always wanted.

#bloom #spring #birthday #april #may #kindred #shadow #change #transformation #metamorphosis #family #love #hearts #poems #death #life

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bazwillendinflames · 8 years

Text

Once a hero

A follow up on my Woman’s March fanfiction. (I can’t link right now sorry)

Quill, April and Tanya march together and Quill gets asked an important question.

—

The match wasn’t quite as military as Quill would have liked. But she wasn’t working with an army, although they had the forces to easily take down the very man they were protesting against. Quill had sharpened the edge of her sign just in case. Maybe the annoying thing controlling her wouldn’t mind. Or the Arhn.

“Miss Quill?” Tanya had put on a jacket covered in pins. She held her sign up high. She seemed proud to fight the patriarchy. Quill liked that in a solider - pride made a better spur than survival.

“Yes?”

Tanya had the same look on her face when she had first brought her coffee. Quill liked that look - it meant something good was coming. (She hoped for battle plans.)

Tanya held out a little piece of metal. It had a picture of cat - which made it a little harder for Quill not to smile. The only thing holding her back was the bright colours. She was yet to see a cat which was pink. Perhaps she should google it, although the website reminded her too much of the Prince. It was probably the Doctor’s fault - he recommended the website in the first place.

“It’s a gift.” Tanya explained. “I figured you might not get a lot so…”

Quill took the small disk from her palm. It was rather cute and Quill did enjoy cats. It was pointy at the end too. Sharp things were always helpful. Quill already had a knife picked out if she got the Arhn out her head. It gave her something to look forward to (and a mild headache) whenever she thought about it.

“Thank you.” Quill sounded less bitter than usual.

Tanya and April looked at her like she had turned into a Dalek.

Tanya snapped out of it first. “Anytime Miss Quill.”

“What do I do with this?” Quill still hoped it was a weapon. But, as Tanya explained, it was only a decoration. The bright colours stood out on her black coat but Quill didn’t care. Decorations could be lethal; it’s why she owned pointed heels.

“An army of woman.” Quill said, looking around. “And yet no attacks.”

“We’re stronger than we seem.” April said. She looked strong already. She was the only person other than herself that Quill knew who could fight and win against the Shadow King.

“Never underestimate a woman with a purpose.” Tanya added.

Quill smirked. It was different to smiling, so she didn’t try to hide it. “I have never underestimated a woman.” She gestured around them. “Look at our army. Who would dare underestimate this?”

“Men.” Tanya and April said at the same time.

“Especially straight white males.” Tanya added. “We had to fight for centuries to be respected.”

“And we still don’t get that today.” April gestured around them. “It’s why we’re here. To be heard.”

Quill wasn’t sure what to say. Not being heard had a lot of meaning to it. Maybe that’s why the Doctor had left them in 2016, to make a change the planet needed.

“Once a freedom fighter, always a freedom fighter.” Quill looked at her army of two. They were looking at her like they was expecting a speech. Into battle indeed. “Your planet may be backwards and your people mildly offensive, but we will stand strong.” Tanya and April were looking at her with respect. Again. “We are woman. And we are soldiers.”

There was applause from a few other protesters.

“You should do that professionally.” A woman with wild and curly hair and dark skin approached them. “I like your sign.”

“It’s her life motto.” Tanya replied. “And it’s kinda true.”

“I could have answered that myself Miss Adeola.” Quill couldn’t bring herself to glare at Tanya. She nodded at the woman’s sign. It had a lot of glitter but an interesting message.

“I like yours as well.” Tanya said. The sign said ‘I’ve met God, she’s black.’ The glitter was a little too much for Quill but if she judged every human, she wouldn’t have enough hatred left for the people who mattered.

“Thanks.” The woman smiled at all three of them. “Bill.”

“I’m April.” The brunette smiled. She was always doing that. “This is my friend Tanya and our teacher Miss Quill.”

“Great.” Bill seemed very positive. Quill wasn’t sure how to feel. “You’re a good teacher than, inspiring them.”

Quill supposed inspiration worked both ways then. “I suppose.”

“I have to meet my friend.” Bill said. “Or he’ll wander off and cares chaos. But it was great talking to you all.” She hurried off.

“She was cool.” April said. “I liked her shirt.”

“Of course she was cool. She was a feminist.” Tanya smiled excitably. “This is amazing.”

“It could be improved by going with my suggestion.” Quill said, looking at her sharpened sign. “I could do it quickly.”

“Please, no stabbing.” April said quickly. “You don’t want to be arrested again.”

“I’ve been in worst situations.” Quill sighed and lowered her sign. Hopefully it’s content was enough to show how dangerous she was.

“Then prison?” Tanya asked. “Really?”

Quill resisted the urge to laugh. Even if they didn’t know her past; they knew her present. As if being ordered around by a stubborn prince who couldn’t accept he had a kings duty of revenge to fulfil was fun.

“You should have seen parents evening.” She answered dryly. “Explain more of these signs to me.” She pointed at a nearby one, held by a woman in a hijab. (Quill had researched it after having to intervene - and then terrify - a group of boys picking on a Muslim student.) “Why would a woman belong in a kitchen?”

“Well, traditionally-” April started, only to be interrupted by Tanya.

“In a time before we had rights.”

“Traditionally woman were supposed do all the housework and cooking.” April finished.

“Ridiculous.” Quill said. She followed it with serval swear words that didn’t translate to English. “How has your race survived if they had horrible men and a need to recreate?” Tanya giggled to herself.

“It’s dumb.” April agreed. She dig her elbow into Tanya’s side so she would stop laughing.

“Besides the Polish boyfriend does the cooking.” Quill added. “He does quite a good job.”

“Don’t you call Matteusz by his name?” April asked.

“No one calls me by my name.” Quill snapped without thinking it though. The students called her by her chosen name - a pretend one for a pretend human. The Prince knew it but refused to acknowledge her as more than just a species.

The silence that fell was heavy. “It hadn’t occurred to me you had a different name.” Tanya admitted quietly. The match around them was noisy but Quill was listening carefully. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Quill gritted her teeth together. “I’m sure the prince would have got more than that.”

“What is it?” April asked. She looked, fearless as ever. “What is your real name?”

The question held more than just a name. Quill had locked away the brave warrior life that she had once led away. Andra'ath was more than just her name. It was who she was before she was made an unwilling slave. Andra'ath would only cause more questions. Quill wasn’t sure if she was willing to answer them. Thinking of the past involved a lover that had only a bracelet as a memory. It had the highs of being a leader and the lows of her life before it. The Doctor had said a name had a lot of meanings.

Quill answered anyway. “My name was once Andra'ath.” She didn’t look at the girls. An army of two perhaps. But once Quill had an army of two hundred. In the past. Locked away. “Thank you for asking.”

“Andra'ath.” Tanya repeated. “It suits you more than just Quill.”

“Andra'ath.” April’s pronunciation was better. “The name of a hero.”

Quill blinked back tears. It had been so long. Too long, since someone had asked her name. She was - at least to an army of a small scale - a hero.

“Andra'ath was a hero. But Miss Quill is a slave.” Quill strode ahead. “But I will still lead you into battle.”

—

I’m really proud of this.

#class #class dw #class bbc #andra'ath quill #tanya adeola #april maclean #feminsm #yes there's a bill cameo #she's a queen #I haven't seen an episode with her yet #but she is #alien invasion or teen angst

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permanenthairreplacement-blog · 4 years

Text

Oz Investigates Hair Loss Replacement Clinic

Hair Restoration Scams: How Far Would You Go to Reverse Your Thinning http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection&region=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/Fort Lauderdale FUT vs FUE Process Hair?

youtube

Oz Investigates: For Hair Loss

Be wary of unscrupulous hair restoration clinics' scams. Make sure you choose an honest and trustworthy hair transplant doctor and their clinic like the ones discussed in the video.

Watch this video about Fue Hair Restoration scams.

Audio Title: Hair Restoration - Scams Exposed by Dr. Oz

Duration Transcribed: 0:00:00 – 0:15:22

Number of Speakers: 6

Transcript

Dr. Oz: Hair Restoration Scams.

Clinic Counselor: We guarantee our work 100%.

Dr. Oz: Are some of them duping you and trying to steal your money?

Clinic Doctor: you’re going to be looking about 10 to 12 range.

Dr. Oz: We went undercover to find out.

[Music]

Dr. Oz: We’ll save lives today. [Music] We are good and healthy!

[Cheering]

Elisabeth Leamy: If you’re West Palm Beach Dermatologist Hair Loss considering hair loss restoration, the first thing to keep in mind is “Buyer, Beware!” hair restoration is a booming business. Transplants are up 27% since 2012. And high-priced clinics offering foolproof results are popping up all over so are the horror stories. These are pictures of hair loss surgeries gone wrong, excessive bleeding, infection, scarring, and failure to actually restore hair. Any of these serious side effects are possible when unscrupulous or unskilled doctors and technicians attempt the procedure without sufficient training.

Anne: This part– what I mean over here…

Clinic Counselor: Yeah.

Anne: …like my hairline…

Clinic Counselor: Mm-hmm.

Anne: …is not what it used to be.

Elisabeth Leamy: We wanted to know just what they’re promising hopeful patients.

Anne: You’re guaranteeing the success of my operation?

Clinic counselor: We guarantee our work 100%

Elisabeth Leamy: Then why are there so many unsatisfied patients complaining?

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Welcome to the show.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Thanks for having me.

Dr. Oz: So, you got a thousand or more of these procedures that…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Right.

Dr. Oz: …takes between 5 and 12 hours a lot…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Right.

Dr. Oz: …of effort.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Absolutely.

Dr. Oz: When you see these physicians conning these women, we’ll about to show some footages could– actually riveting on this.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yeah.

Dr. Oz: How does it affect you?

Dr. Oz: So you get– if you’re– it’s 50/50 or worse to get a good procedure?

Dr. Oz: So why do you call it the “Wild Wild West”? And most of the medicine is somehow regulated.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Correct. And I came from an emergency medicine background myself, so I understand that. But, hair transplant is not considered to be true surgery West Palm Beach Hair Growth Treatment in the way that say, a breast augmentation would be or liposuction. And as such is not– it’s not regulated with the same rules and regulations. There is no board certification in hair transplant. It’s not recognized by the American Board of Medical Specialties. And that’s the problem.

Dr. Oz: All right, so how big a deal is this? How dangerous could it be if it’s not done well?

Dr. Oz: Oh.

Dr. Matt Heubner: …three days after a hair…

Dr. Oz: Oh.

Dr. Matt Heubner: …transplant from a huge infection.

Dr. Oz: Mmm.

Dr. Oz: Right.

Dr. Matt Heubner: …that people, women…

Dr. Oz: Oh my God!

Dr. Matt Heubner: …especially are coming with.

Dr. Oz: So I’m looking at these pictures, I mean these are catastrophes.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. Oz: I mean I don’t– whether those are puncture holes they get to over the hair is in the top left…

Dr. Matt Heubner: Right.

Dr. Oz: …bottom left.

Dr. Oz: And how good does it look when it’s done right?

Dr. Oz: Here’s an example. This woman in this is before and after.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yes.

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Next, what really goes on inside these hair restoration clinics. Protect yourself from being scammed.

[Applause]

Elisabeth Leamy: Anne who’s hair is thinning in the front has considered hair replacement. So she agreed to go undercover with us.

Anne: I would love to get my hair back the way it used to be, here, you know. But, I’m not sure if hair loss surgery is safe or effective.

Clinic Counselor: Anne, the thing is I’m not a physician.

And the doctors do the actual work?

Clinic Counselor: We have technicians that worked with the doctors. It’s like heart surgery…

Anne: The doctor–

Clinic Counselor: …they do–

Anne: They are…

Clinic Counselor: All they do day in and day out is under the microscope separating grafts.

Elisabeth Leamy: Wow.

Clinic Counselor: Maybe one of them– [Laughter] India.

Elisabeth Leamy: Huh!

But online, reviewers complained that some technicians are far less skilled than others leaving patients with erratic results.

Is there a chance of side effects or risks or injuries of some sort?

Clinic Counselor: Scar.

Elisabeth Leamy: From the–

Clinic Counselor: She will have a scar back here. But you’re never going to shave your head, are you?

Anne: I hope not.

Clinic Counselor: No.

[Laughter]

Clinic Counselor: No, no, no, no.

Elisabeth Leamy: The representative we met with downplayed the risks.

Clinic Counselor: There’s no long-term side effects or risks.

Clinic Counselor: We’ll be guarantee– yeah.

Anne: You’re guaranteeing the success of my operation?

Clinic Counselor: We guarantee our work 100%

Anne: Damn.

Clinic Counselor: The– any grafts that do not survive or grow normally will be replaced at no charge unless you don’t have sufficient donor hair then that would be a refund. And you be so

Anne: Oh, so you’re saying you’re not actually guaranteeing my result. But if they don’t…

Clinic Counselor: Oh, no, no.

Anne: If it doesn’t work–

Clinic Counselor: There are two to three patients a year that come back and aren’t happy.

Clinic Counselor: here he is.

Elisabeth Leamy: Hello.

Clinic Doctor: Hi.

Anne: Hi.

Clinic Doctor: Pleased to meet you. what’s your name?

Anne: Anne.

Clinic Doctor: Anne.

Elisabeth Leamy: But when Anne finally met the doctor, he declared her an excellent candidate for hair restoration.

Clinic Doctor: She’s a very good candidate. Look at that curl– look what you have!

Clinic Counselor: Yeah

Elisabeth Leamy: And the estimated cost for the procedure?

Clinic Doctor: so you’re going to be looking about 10k to 12k range.

Elisabeth Leamy: That’s 10 to 12,000.00 dollars.

Anne: That’s a lot for some hair.

Elisabeth Leamy: At that price, you have to use your head if you’re thinking about restoring your hair.

Dr. Oz: Elisabeth Leamy and Anne are here.

[Applause]

Dr. Oz: Anne, if Elisabeth hasn't been with you, you think you would have paid 10 to 12,000.00 dollars to have this done?

Anne: If money was no object, I would have fallen for it, totally! Because the salesman, his pitch was flawless.

Dr. Oz: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Oz: Why?

Elisabeth Leamy: He said she’s going to need two treatments.

Anne: Yeah, because I would need two.

Elisabeth Leamy: Suddenly the price was going up.

Anne: Yeah.

Dr. Oz: So, Elisabeth what brilliant depth to this investigation? When you actually saw the pitches and the proposals, what bothered you the most?

Elisabeth Leamy: It felt like a business instead of a doctor’s office. I mean the first person we met what he’s called the counselor. But come on, he was a salesman.

Anne: Totally.

Elisabeth Leamy: And the educational brochures, those were marketing brochures. I know what a marketing brochure looks like. And he even offered Anne a line of credit. Basically a credit card…

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Elisabeth Leamy: …to pay for the procedure. This was a business.

Dr. Oz: And like they’re selling you a car, basically.

Anne: Yeah, pretty much.

Dr. Oz: Doctor, you witnessed this?

Dr. Matt Heubner: Yeah.

Dr. Oz: As an expert in the field, what did you think about that? What would you have told Anne if you’re honest about this procedure?

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Anne: Mmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: This is something that’s taught on the job.

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: So there’s [0:12:31.6] [Crosstalk]

Dr. Oz: Don’t be first.

Elisabeth Leamy: …on you.

Anne: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Matt Heubner: Make sure you research your doctor. Ask how many doctors are in the practice. A real transplant takes a doctor anywhere from 5 to 12 hours to do a surgery.

Dr. Oz: Mmm.

Anne: Yes.

Dr. Oz: And then finally, if it’s too cheap to be true, we shouldn’t believe it.

Dr. Matt Heubner:

#Fort Lauderdale Hair Transplant #Ft. Lauderdale Hair Replacement Surgery #Fort Lauderdale Hair Transplant Surgeons

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