#“somebody take these away from me” when hes eating potato chips

[lamuliz]

the white man ever

[eastofthemoon]

Title: Campfire

Rating: G

Characters: Chiyo, Nozaki, and Mikorin

Summer Days

“No way! Not happening! Forget it! Not doing it!”

Chiyo raised an eyebrow as she entered Nozaki’s apartment.

 Mikorin is yelling more than normal. Wonder what’s up?

He was still yelling as Chiyo entered the main room.

“Nope! Nope! Not me!” Mikorin continued as he pointed at Nozaki. “Ask somebody else!”

Nozaki sighed. “But everyone else is busy and it would be good material-”

“NOT ON YOUR LIFE!” Mikorin shouted back.

Chiyo clapped her hands. “Okay, what happened?”

The boys blinked and clearly only just noticed she got there.

Mikorin ran to Chiyo like an upset kid. “Chiyo, Nozaki’s nuts!” He shook her shoulders. “HE WANTS US TO GO CAMPING!”

Chiyo stared blankly. “Um..is that it?”

“What do mean ‘is that it’?!” Mikorin snapped.

“Well, it is summer and camping is kind of fun,” Chiyo said with a grin. “My family has gone a few times-”

“No it isn’t!” Mikorin counted on his fingers. “There are bugs, bears, it’s dark and spooky, and there isn’t any power to play video games!”

Chiyo sighed as she patted Mikorin’s head. “There, there, no one’s going to take you away from your video games.”

She glanced at Nozaki. “I take it you want to go camping to get story ideas?”

“Yeah,” Nozaki said as he rubbed his neck. “To be on time for my deadline I need to go this weekend and everyone else is busy.”

“So? Go by yourself,” Mikorin growled.

“There’s not enough story potential if it’s just me,” Nozaki replied.

“How about a compromise?” Chiyo suggested. “We pretend to camping in Nozaki’s apartment. That’s something else my brother and I use to do when we were kids.”

Nozaki paused as he stroked his chin. “I suppose that would save time on travel.” He stroked his chin. “I may need to take the batteries out of my smoke detector if we’re going to have a proper campfire-”

“We’re not going that far,” Chiyo said with a nervous smile. “We’ll just get sleeping bags, and get a flashlight for a fake fire.”

Mikorin grimaced as he rubbed his neck. “I don’t know-”

Chiyo clapped her hands. “Trust me, it’ll be fun!”

     One Hour Later....  

The three of them sat alone in the dark with only the flashlight with a patch of red tissue paper for light.

Mikorin raised an eyebrow at Chiyo. “Are we having fun yet? Or is there some secret to gaining enjoyment from sitting on the floor in the dark?”

Chiyo sighed. “Well, this would be more fun if we could tell ghost stories-”

“NO,” Mikorin snapped. “I can’t stand them and you know it.”

“You say that and yet I know you played that horror theme dating sim two weeks ago,” Nozaki replied

Mikorin’s eye twitched. “That wasn’t horror! It was a murder mystery!”

“Okay, okay,” Chiyo replied. “Well, maybe we could eat some snacks like potato chips.”

“I haven’t been able to go shopping yet so I don’t have a lot of snack foods,” Nozaki replied.

“We could cook something?” Chiyo suggested.

“If we use my kitchen I feel like that’s not really camping.”

“Ah, come on,” Mikorin said, pouting. “I’m getting hungry.”

Nozaki stroked his chin. “Well, I suppose I do have some ice cream in the freezer.”

“Oh, I would take that,” Chiyo said with a grin.

Nozaki frowned. “But we wouldn’t have a freezer while camping so I still don’t think-”

“Screw it, my hunger overrides accuracy” Mikorin snapped as he rose and made a beeline for the fridge. “It’s double chocolate. You want some, Chiyo?”

“Yes, please,” Chiyo said as she stood up. “I’ll get the bowls and spoons.”

Nozaki watched them in the kitchen before reaching for his sketch pad.

“I’ll just have them go on a hike.”

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Hi lovely! I just want to say, your writing is amazing!! Do you think you could do little headcanons for each bayverse brother where the reader is almost ALWAYS super happy and chipper, super kind to everyone all the time, but then one time somebody (turtles or readers family, doesn't matter) says something to really piss them off? Like... Teeth clenching, furious, silent, and boiling kind of anger that terrified the SHIT out of them that they've never seen before or expected from them?? 😂

Usually, when my Dad and Stepmom are arguing, the fight is blamed on me because I'm "the oldest" and "the most responsible" and I become extremely upset, completely opposite of what I usually am, and there's nobody I can talk to. Thank you so much, for taking my request!! Love your writing!! -Captain trash 🐌

Ohhhh 💢😡 love this, and I do this all the time. Out here bottling my emotions like I'm canning pickles.

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to the quiet type of rage

Leonardo

you were an absolute angel

this was one thing Leo knew to be true

to him, you were like a carbonated beverage, bubbly and sweet

but what he didn't take into account was that like most carbonated drinks, you always hit just right

he learned that the hard way

no, he wasn't sure what he'd actually said to set you off, but he knew it probably wasn't about him insulting potato chips

you weren't that passionate about potatoes, shockingly enough

but he'd ran his mouth when he shouldn't have and immediate correction was provided via a VERY solid punch to his plastron

then you were up and storming out of the kitchen to your personally designated shelf at the other side of the lair, snarling as you went

you stayed up there for the rest of the day and when dinner came around Leo had to tackle Mikey to the ground to stop him from throwing a paper airplane up into your nest

a wise choice

Splinter was the one who informed you that it was time to eat

Another wise choice

Personally, Leo's never seen anyone eat fettuccine with the afterthought of murdering god but damn if you didn't look like you were considering it

Your jaw was clenched so tight that he feared you'd break your teeth

He felt bad of course, how couldn't he? But he also knew from experience that it was best to leave you be until you came down from your anger

Raphael

Now, Raph is no stranger when it comes to anger or rage, especially the silent type

He likes to think he knows it better than anyone

But holy shit- he never expected it from you

You were always kind and sweet and every other synonym for those words under the rainbow

In fact, Raph had gone so far as to assume that you didn't have a mean bone in your body

That turned out to be lie

The argument was something dumb, it had to be, but it quickly escalated. Much faster than he thought it could

And he made the mistake of running his mouth

"Oh yeah? And what could you ever get outta being with a freak like me, huh?!"

Big mistake

He actively watched your face darken and your lip curl into a snarl

"You need to stop using your appearance to win arguments."

And then he had to watch as you turned your back on him and simply walked away

You were silent at dinner, only speaking when you needed the salt or something else

You declined all offers to be walked home and left by yourself

They could all tell by your stature and your tense jaw that caused the veins in your neck to bulge that you were beyond pissed

Despite that Raph still received your text informing him that you made it home safe

But that was all

Two days went by before he showed up at your apartment to apologize

You'd never been one to hold a grudge against anyone

Especially not your boyfriend

You accepted his apology and he hasn't crossed that line since

Donatello

From the day he met you, Donnie knew you were different

Your social anxiety and self esteem overlapped in some of the worst possible ways

But damn if you weren't an absolute sweetheart around everyone else

You defended your friends better than Fort Knox security and that was a fact

So in truth he really shouldn't have been surprised by your outburst

But in his defense he'd only ever seen you react verbally, yelling, threatening, the works

When they were all returning from a scouting routine that night the last thing Donnie wanted to listen to was Leo's lecture

Donnie had gotten in a little too far and banged himself up, bleeding from a few cuts and scrapes but nothing major

And none of them had realized that you were there

So when Leo went in for an attack on Donnie's intelligence and worth you'd done the only reasonable thing you could think of

The glass bottle shattered on the wall next to Leo's head and sent them all ducking and covering their faces

You stood opposite of them, murder dancing in your eyes like a ballerina

You pinned Leo with your gaze and held him there for a painfully long minute

Then you were taking Donnie's hand and pulling him to the needle room

You were both silent while you patched him up and he was relieved to know that your anger wasn't directed at him

Your entire body practically melted when he touched your cheek

"You're going to break your teeth if you keep that up."

"Well I've never been one for self preservation now have I?"

Michaelangelo

You and Mikey's personality and mentality were basically identical

You might as well have operated on the same vibrational frequency

He just worked so well with you

If it wasn't for the fact that he clearly wasn't human you could've been twins

It wasn't that you were necessarily angry with him at that moment, but the argument you were having was quickly escalating so you both opted to shut it down before it got any worse

Things usually turned out better when you both went nonverbal

Ended with way less hurt feelings than it could have

But you both found it best to take some time alone during these situations, things were easier to smooth over if you were both calm

The others found this terrifying however

Because silent, angry you was one thing

Silent and angry Mikey was another thing entirely

But fortunately you both typically resolved things rather quickly after giving each other some space

I know the last one is a little off but I kinda ran out of ideas and brain power. The dreaded wall of writer's block has hit me and I think I just made a nest under it and took a nap. But in all honesty this week has really stressed me out so I apologize for the lack of postings. I'm doing my best to get back into it. Thank you all for being patient with me. 🧡

-Mars 🌠

[indulge-that-sin]

A Social Experience

Characters: GN!MC, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Mammon

Wordcount: 1700

Tags: Fluff, Domestic, Bonding Activities, Humor

(No spoilers for latter lessons, but takes place fairly late in the game.)

***

"--a gross, shut-in otaku like me!" Levi finished, on the all too familiar note.

Usually by this point you would already be launching into reassurances that he certainly wasn't gross, and shouldn't talk about himself like that, but this time there was nothing but a silence that bounced off the walls, damning and louder than any words.

You reached into your bag of chips, removed a single potato chip, and ate it as you tilted your head in thought. Levi took your silence like a slap in the face, and recoiled, his face already wavering. The sound of your chewing was distressingly loud in contrast.

You finished chewing and swallowed. "I mean, is that even true anymore?" you asked after a nerve-wracking length of time.

Levi's expression twisted more into confusion than hurt. "Huh?!" 

"Don't you kind of lose your hikikomori credentials if you become popular and people start coming to spend time with you all the time?"

"That's not-- I'm not-- You don't count!" Levi sputtered.

"Oh, I don't count, huh," you repeated, putting a hand to your chest and dramatically feigning heartbreak.

Levi looked abashed now. "Th-that's not what I meant," he rushed to add.

"I know what you meant," you said. "Give it an hour."

Now Levi tilted fully into confusion.

"Give what an hour?"

"My point to be made," you said, and placed your D.D.D. onto the lip of the bathtub, out of your own reach. It was also clearly visible to Levi as you both sat on beanbags in front of his TV, next to the bath tub. "An hour," you repeated in a portentous video game narrator voice.

Levi scowled and picked up his controller again, turning back to his game. But his reactions were off, now. His character moved jerkily around the screen, doubling back and taking wrong turns on the 8-bit map as Levi's mood roiled with the strangeness of the conversation.

You continued eating your chips slowly, savoring the taste of the limited edition novelty flavor that Levi had generously acquired for you. He'd tried to pass it as a coincidence, but he didn't really know anyone else who unironically enjoyed the taste of cream and devilradish chips.

Not even half an hour passed before there was a knock on the door. Levi asked for the password on reflex. Surprisingly, from the other side of the door came a sigh, and then Asmo's melodious voice reciting the string of nerd trivia that Levi had set as a password for him ever since they became unlikely allies for the Bloody Moon competition.

"Come in, I guess," Levi replied, giving you a long look. Your D.D.D. was still on the edge of the bathtub, untouched as you sat there elbow-deep in greasy chips. You couldn't have called anyone over. And yet, was this what you expected to happen?

"Give it forty more minutes now," you said low.

Asmo fluttered into the room, like a passing breeze bringing in the smell of perfume. 

"Oh, there you are, darling, I was wondering where you were," he said, face lit up as he saw you.

He sat uninvited next to you in the beanbag, and you scooted over to make space for him. Levi would have complained, except moving to make room for Asmo meant you shuffled closer to Levi instead, so he ended up biting his tongue.

"What do you want?" Levi grit out.

"Must I want something?" Asmo asked, "Is it not enough that I give my adorable brother the opportunity to entertain me?"

"He's bored," you translated.

"I'm soooo bored," Asmo whined, his shoulders rolling in a full-body sigh. But he perked up as he leaned forward to look at both you and Levi. "But what about all this? Mind if I join the fun~?"

"Let's find a game Asmo can play," you suggested. 

"If you'd like," Asmo acquiesced with a shrug, indicating he'd had some other kind of fun in mind.

Levi gave you another sidelong glance, full of suspicion, but his head was out of the game he was playing anyway, so he exited and pulled up his game library instead. Deciding which game to choose was the trickier part, because Asmo had terrible reflexes, and an attention span worse than Mammon's when it came to playing anything. This ruled out anything requiring twitch reflexes or understanding complicated rules. 

Asmo, meanwhile, scrunched his nose at your chips.

"All that grease and salt is going to be awful for your complexion, darling," he said, clearly disapproving.

"I'm not rubbing it on my face," you said, and defiantly sucked crumbs off your thumb. Levi nearly choked at the sound, which was borderline obscene. The little sound Asmo made in response did nothing to contradict this impression. Levi managed to swallow back the wave of envy before it came undammed by concentrating on the list of games on the screen. He still had to make a selection.

A farming sim seemed like a safe enough choice; something bright and frivolous. Just like Asmo.

Levi passed the controller as the title screen came up, and Asmo, to his credit, managed to choose the 'New Game' option without messing anything up. Yet. When the screen went dark as the game loaded, Asmo couldn't resist looking at his reflection and primping his hair a bit. Levi did resist snorting and rolling his eyes, but it was a close thing.

The character creation screen popped up with its myriad of options, and Asmo gasped in delight.

"Oh! This is a good start! Much better than getting shoved into some ugly gray metal suit at the beginning," Asmo remarked cheerfully. He cycled through the hair and clothing options with the speed and deftness of a veteran player. 

"Hey, beginner armor in RPGs can be colorful too," Levi protested.

"But not fashionable, apparently," Asmo sniffed.

Asmo had only just barely settled on a hairstyle and color combination he thought was adequately cute, and was scrunching his nose at the shirt options, when another knock came at the door.

"Come in," you called out, before Levi could demand a password.

Mammon's head popped through the door, and he pulled a face when he saw you there, just like he always did when you were in somebody else's company and not his.

"Eh? What're you doing here?" Mammon asked, closing the door behind him and sidling up to the three of you. 

He craned his neck and squinted at the screen, like he was verifying that whatever you were doing, it passed his requirements for propriety. Between knowing the kinds of games Levi had in his collection, and seeing Asmo there, maybe he was not completely unjustified in some suspicion, but it still made you want to roll your eyes.

"We're watching Asmo create his character," you explained.

Mammon guffawed. "Betcha been watching him do that for a while!"

"Fifteen minutes, more or less," you said. "But to be fair, Levi takes way longer to create characters."

"It's an important step!" Levi sputtered.

"Especially with the quality of the options," Asmo added. "Look at this. A purple T-shirt with a pink butt on it?"

"That's a peach!" Levi protested, his face turning red.

"I know what a butt looks like, Levi," Asmo replied tartly.

"Wait, wait, Asmo, that black one with the gold design ain't half bad! Go back an' pick that one." 

"That gaudy thing! Absolutely not!"

"Mammon, why are you even here?" Levi asked, now completely exasperated with his brothers.

"I was just seein' if we were still on for Devil Kart against those Purgatory Hall guys. We need ta win back our honor, ya know."

"Do we?" Levi asked suspiciously, "or are you running a betting pool again?"

Mammon made a good show of appearing indignant at the very suggestion, but he'd hit you up earlier today about whether you'd be willing to take a dive in the second half of Candy Mountain in exchange for a lump grimm sum, so you knew too much about the subject to defend Mammon without exposing him.

"Can't I be showin' an interest without ya gettin' all suspicious a' me? What makes me so weird, huh? Asmo here doesn't even play games, and I don't see ya hasslin' him!"

"I do too play games," Asmo protested.

"Really? 'Cause only thing I ever saw you play was that stupid matching thing with the gems, and I ain't seen much of even that lately."

You knew which game Mammon meant, because it was the only game app you'd ever seen on Asmo's phone. You'd watch him play in moments of boredom, swiping his screen with a completely blank look of concentration as he matched the colors of the gems in rows and columns, and they burst into sparkles. 

"Ugh, of course you haven't seen me play, I finished it. I have to wait until they add new levels."

"Didn't that game have like ten thousand levels already?" you asked. "You mean you passed all of them?"

"Eleven thousand and sixty five," Asmo corrected primly. "And yes, I did them all. I have to wait until they add more now. I asked."

The room fell into shocked silence at this. Even Levi looked mildly dyspeptic at the thought of completing eleven thousand levels of a match-3 game. You'd played it yourself for a while, and past the two hundredth level, the number of complicated mechanics the game introduced had completely broken you.

"Anyway," Mammon said after a few more beats of silence. He gestured to the screen, where Asmo was flicking between two shirt options. "This thing got co-op or somethin'?"

You finished your chips, and folded away the empty bag. When you picked up your D.D.D., fifty five minutes had passed.

"Still five minutes left," you muttered to Levi while Asmo and Mammon bickered over the choice of pants. "Wanna play the long odds and see if the twins show up too?"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point," Levi grumbled. "I let way too many people waltz in here. I'll have to tighten security."

But Levi's heart wasn't really in it, and when he turned to watch Mammon try to swipe Asmo's controller while the latter loudly protested, there was almost a smile threatening to spread over Levi's face.

[aniimequotes]

DEATH NOTE QUOTES PT. 1

“This world is rotten and those who are making it rot deserve to die. Someone has to do it, so why not me? Even if it means sacrificing my own mind and soul, it’s worth it. Because the world… can’t go on like this. I wonder… what if someone else had picked up this notebook? Is there anyone out there other than me who’d be willing to eliminate the vermin from the world? If I don’t do it, then who will? That’s just it: there’s no one, but I can do it. In fact, I’m the only one who can. I’ll do it. Using the death note, I’ll change the world.”

- Light Yagami

“You can’t ever win if you’re always on the defensive. To win, you have to attack!”

- Light Yagami

“Kira has become law in the world we now live. He's the one who's maintaining order. I have become justice. The only hope for mankind. Kill me? Is that really the right thing to do? Since Kira's appearance six years ago, wars have stopped, and global crime rates have been reduced by over seventy percent. But it's not enough, this world is still rotten, with too many rotten people. Somebody has to do this! And when I first got that notebook all those years ago, I knew I had to do it. No, I was the only one who could. I understood that killing people was a crime. There was no other way, the world had to be fixed! A purpose given to me! Only I could do it. Who else could have done it?! And come this far?! Would they have kept going?! The only one… who can create a new world… is me.”

- Light Yagami

"I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!"

- Light Yagami

"Humans aren't made perfectly. Everyone lies. Even so... I've been careful not to tell lies that hurt others."

- Light Yagami

"Only I could do it! I was well aware that killing people is crime in itself! Yet at that point it was the only way to make things right! I thought to myself that someday people will come to realize this as much, and regard it as an act of justice! I had no choice but to act as Kira… it was the destiny given to me. I was chosen to renew this rotten world, to bring about true peace."

- Light Yagami

"For murderers, there is no good or evil. I know that."

- Light Yagami

"No matter what the world is, the god of that world creates the rules. In truth, you have been defeated by the rules I created. And as punishment for defying the God of the new world, you will die..."

- Light Yagami

"I've never considered finding that notebook and gaining that power a misfortune."

- Light Yagami

"This is the first time in my life that I've been provoked to hit a woman."

- Light Yagami

“Kira is childish and he hates losing… I’m also childish and hate to lose. That’s how I know.”

- L

“There is no heaven or hell. No matter what you do while you’re alive, everybody goes to the same place once you die. Death is Equal.”

- L

“Sometimes, the questions are complicated – and the answers are simple.”

- L

“Just because I am alone, does not mean I am lonely. I am not you.”

- L

"Learn to treasure your life because unfortunately, it can be taken away from you anytime."

- L

"There are many types of monsters in this world. Monsters who will not show themselves and who cause trouble; monsters who abduct children; monsters who devour dreams; monsters who suck blood, and... monsters who always tell lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance. They are much more cunning than other monsters. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart. They eat even though they've never experienced hunger. They study even though they have no interest in academics. They seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by it. Because in truth, I am that monster."

- L

"Light-kun, please get Misa to shut up."

- L

"Risking your life and doing something that could easily rob you of your life are exact opposites."

- L

"It's not a sense of justice. Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly. For me too, it's simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. That's why I only take on cases that pique my interest. It's not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don't play fair, I'm a dishonest, cheating human being who hates losing."

- L

"This isn't divine judgement. It's the work of some childish killer who's playing at divine retribution. That's all."

- L

“There’s no heaven, no hell. No matter what you do in life, everyone goes to the same place. Death plays no favourites.”

- Ryuk

“Whether you will be happy or sad, Light, is not something that I care about. But, you know, I’ve heard that, as a general rule, people that are visited by the Gods of Death don’t end up having a lot of fun.”

- Ryuk

"Well, it was good while it lasted. We killed some boredom, didn't we? We did some various and interesting things."

- Ryuk

“You have lost, Light. Didn’t I say in the beginning, when you die, the one who’ll write your name down in a notebook will be me? That is the deal between the Shinigami and the first human to get their hands on the note in the human world. Once you enter prison, I don’t know when you’ll die. It’s annoying to wait. Your life is already over. You’ll die here.”

- Ryuk

[freaoscanlin]

In the Arms of an Aila

Fandom: High Rollers Aerois Campaign

Notes: Rated PG, 4438 words, trigger warnings for minor blood mentions. This is a Uni AU wherein the Storm Chasers are a group of students sharing a house on Stormchaser Avenue after their dormitory burns down. Shout out to @obishenshenobi for being amazing and co-writing this series with me!

Summary: Four times Aila carries the party, and one time they return the favor.

Read it on AO3

“Hey, Aila?” Nova said.

“What?”

“Just...thanks.”

“Very welcome. Just do your part and hold on. Sentry will get mad if I drop you.”

Nova

The blister set in somewhere between mile two and mile four. Since it was supposed to be a five mile hike, and a torrential downpour hit at the end of mile two, soaking them to the bone within minutes, a blister was the last thing Nova needed.

Of course, who really needed a blister? Rubbing an actual sore onto the skin as the first step on the way to a callus was an absolute stupid function of humanity, and human feet should not be designed this way. In fact, all humans were composed of stupid engineering. Her thighs burned, her lower back ached, she was muddy and cross and cold, and the pain rubbing along the back of her heel made her actually want to cry.

“We’ll get to the end soon.” Sentry kept a cheerful look in place. This whole hike had been her idea in the first place, and she’d led the pack all the way out to the waterfall. Which, admittedly, had been very pretty. On a sunny day it might have even been gorgeous. But Nova could feel her teeth chattering, and she must have looked miserable because Sentry had been making remarks like that for the past twenty minutes. “And then we’ll be in a nice warm car. And we’ll get some hot chocolate.”

“Coffee,” Nova managed to say through her chattering teeth.

“Or coffee. Sure. Coffee’s fine.”

Lucius, following behind Sentry without too much trouble, should have looked bedraggled and miserable. But he’d packed a fancy purple camping jacket for the adventure. Quill, trudging behind him, kept flicking a hand through his sopping hair and sending water droplets everywhere.

Aila, after the first time Nova had landed on her ass, had taken the rear. Every so often, she reached out to grab Nova and keep her from careening off the edge of the path.

“Let’s take a hike,” Nova muttered under her breath as she limped along. “It’s beautiful, Nova. You’ll love it, Nova. Just think of the pretty views, Nova. This is great. Just great.”

She stepped down and hissed in pain as her boot moved against the blister. Instantly, the three people ahead of her turned to look. “Are you okay?” Sentry asked, her brow furrowed.

“Fi—I’m fine. It’s just a blister. I’ll be fine.”

It took a great deal of reassurance that she would be fine in order for the others to believe her. They had less than a mile to go, soon they’d be in the car, she could grit her teeth through it. After a day of holding the group back to her pace—it wasn’t her fault she lived with a bunch of jocks who preferred the gym to the library—the idea of stopping just because her foot hurt made her burn with shame. So she waved away their protests and gamely set off.

For a couple hundred meters, at least. At that point she began to whimper.

Something rustled behind her, followed by a sigh. Aila grabbed her arm to stop her. “What? Was I about to fall?” Nova asked, looking down at the steep incline beside the little trail.

“Hop on.” Aila turned to face away from her, bending her knees just a little.

“What?”

“I’ll give you a piggy-back ride.”

“But it’s so far still.”

“You weigh less than a sack of potatoes. I’ll be fine. Hop on.”

The others, having missed all of this, continued on their way up the path. Nova glanced back toward them, wondering if she should just suck it up and run to catch up. The thought alone made her want to cry.

Red-faced and embarrassed, she climbed onto Aila’s back and wrapped her arms around Aila’s neck. The relief of being off her feet came instantly.

“Comfortable?” Aila asked.

“If I get too heavy—”

Aila snorted at that. “Please. This isn’t even a workout. Hey, Sentry, wait up!”

In no time at all, she caught up to the group, trotting along as though she wasn’t even burdened by Nova’s weight. Nova decided she’d feel embarrassed later, when she wasn’t so wrecked. Aila was big and sturdy and warm, and it was the first reprieve from misery she’d had in over an hour. Quill gave her a small smile of commiseration, letting out a “hey” when she tiredly reached out to muss his hair.

“Hey, Aila?” Nova said.

“What?”

“Just...thanks.”

“Very welcome. Just do your part and hold on. Sentry will get mad if I drop you.”

Nova rested her cheek against the back of Aila’s shoulder, watching the landscape go by around them, and obeyed.

Sentry

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”

Sentry, about to reach for the pantry door in the darkness, froze. A split-second after Aila’s voice rang out through the kitchen, the lights flooded on. Sentry didn’t need a highly active imagination to fully see the picture it painted: Aila by the switch in an ancient pair of joggers and one of the hundreds of tacky free T-shirts they handed out during orientation week. A massive gulf of space between the pantry and Sentry’s bedroom. And Sentry herself in her Tom Servo sleep tank and shorts, balanced on one foot to stay off of her bad knee, right by the pantry—with her crutches nowhere nearby.

“Ah, um, ah,” Sentry said, looking about for an excuse. Her shoulders sagged. “I just wanted a snack?”

“And you decided, ‘oh, I’ll just hop to it, then, will I?’”

Sentry spread her hands wide, sheepishly. “Yes?”

Aila’s expression could melt steel. “Even though you’ve got a perfectly good pair of crutches by your bed.”

She hated the crutches, yes, but in that moment Sentry decided she hated disappointing Aila more. Still, she pushed her shoulders back. “I’m allowed to put a little weight on it—”

“In two weeks! You’re supposed to stay off it for now, or you’ll make it worse.”

“I’m only getting a snack. That’s not that strenuous.”

“For somebody who mothers the rest of us when we’ve so much as got the sniffles, you’re a bad patient yourself.” Aila strode across the kitchen and before Sentry quite knew what was happening, scooped her up. Just as quickly—though a little more gently—Sentry was deposited into one of the kitchen chairs. “You could have called one of us to get you a snack if you hate the crutches so much.”

“You were all asleep, and you need your rest.”

“We need our Sentry in one piece more than we need rest.”

Aila stomped into the pantry. A bag of crisps sailed through the air, landing in front of Sentry on the table. Grumbling under her breath the whole time, Aila emerged and stormed about the kitchen, collecting a midnight snack for herself. Sentry angled a chair over to prop her recovering leg up, trusting that Aila would work through this head of steam eventually. At long last, Aila sat down across from her with a glass of water for each of them. She dug viciously into a yogurt.

“Feel better now that you’ve bitched me out?” Sentry asked, digging into the chips.

Aila considered. “A little, actually. Now I see why Nova does it all the time.”

Sentry saluted her with a crisp. “Glad to help. Thanks for getting these for me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You don’t need to keep me company if all you were coming down for was a glass of water or something, though. I don’t want to keep you up.”

“Sentry,” Aila said in a measured voice. “If I leave you there, you’ll just hop right back to bed. So I’m going to stay here until you’re finished and I’m going to eat my yogurt and then I’ll carry you back to bed, and we’ll not tell the others any of this ever happened because they’ll scold you.”

“That might be the most I’ve ever heard you speak,” Sentry said.

“Yeah, I’m a real chatty Cathy at this hour, apparently.” Aila nudged one of the glasses toward her. “Drink your water. It’s good for recovery.”

“Yes, Mom,” Sentry teased, and Aila rolled her eyes at her.

Lucius

Lucius saw the blood, had a brief eternity to think whoopsy, there I go, and when time returned to its normal course of business, fainted. Well, he went woozy, at any rate. He felt his knees buckle, but from afar like they weren’t his knees anymore, and his vision squeezed into one narrow point of blankness, and he staggered.

He slammed into something very solid, but warm like a person. “Oh, no, you don’t,” said a familiar voice in his ear.

“S-so much blood,” Lucius said, his voice sounding as far away as his knees.

The entire world seemed to tilt and a feeling of warmth suffused him, reminding him of the earliest days with Nanny Nophir. That changed abruptly, though, when he realized that instead of being cradled like a small child, somebody had slung him over a shoulder like a bag of cement. Not just anybody, he realized in a muddled storm of thought. Aila had him over one shoulder, bracing him with an arm behind his knees.

Muzzily, he twisted his head to see Sentry hurrying out of the kitchen and into the shared living room. “What’s happened?” she asked.

“Nova’s got a nosebleed,” Aila said. “His majesty still faints at the sight of blood, apparently.”

“Hey,” Lucius said feebly, as the dig felt a little unfair. He let his body hang limp, too wrung out to really protest beyond that. There had been so much blood...

“I’m so sorry,” Nova said, her voice muffled by either a towel or her hand. “Lucius, I’m so sorry, I forgot you don’t like blood. It’s just so dry—”

“Let’s just get you cleaned up,” Sentry said kindly, resting a hand on Lucius’s back as she passed. “Maybe put him on the couch?”

The last must have been directed at Aila, for she moved over and Lucius found himself being lowered onto the divan. They really should have gotten a proper fainting couch for the living room, even though it clashed with the rest of the furniture he’d hand-selected. Though the ultimate irony remained: if Aila hadn’t caught him, he wouldn’t have made it to said fainting couch anyway.

Lucius, feeling queasy, glanced over. He spotted the bloody towel that Nova had instinctively put over her face to staunch the blood, and his eyes rolled back into his head.

“Hey—hey!” Something snapped loudly in front of his face and Lucius opened his eyes. Aila snapped her fingers a few more times. “None of that now. Turn that way.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Lucius said, automatically obeying. “Good heavens. I could have cracked my head open on the coffee table if you hadn’t caught me.”

“Doubt it.” Aila snorted. “Hard as your head is, you’d have cracked the coffee table in half.”

“Oh really, do you think?” Lucius couldn’t help but be a little pleased at the thought. Having somebody like Aila think any part of him was tough—she’d certainly made enough jokes about lacrosse in their first days together—was quite exhilarating. He studiously kept his gaze focused on the back of the couch, deliberately not looking as Aila took the bloody towel out of the room and returned with bleach wipes. “Oh, I do hope she didn’t stain the carpet.”

“Eh,” Aila said. “I’ve gotten blood out of worse. Though I’ll let Nova clean up her textbook on her own. I’m nice but not that nice. It should be safe for you to look now.”

Lucius swallowed hard and sat up, rubbing his head. He’d come in to inquire of Nova, seated at the coffee table with a textbook and a soap opera on in the background for noise, if she wanted to perhaps grab a quick dinner with him before their evening class. And she’d turned to him in horror, blood leaking and...

Well, he’d prefer not to remember beyond that point. Instead, he resolutely turned his thoughts to more pressing matters (after all, Sentry was taking care of Nova, which meant she would be just fine). He cleared his throat. “Aila, I do have a question for you.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Do you think we should get a fainting couch in here? For the aesthetic?”

Aila stared at him for a long time, then turned on a heel and left without saying a word or even making a face at him.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Lucius said, and began to set his mussed clothing to rights.

Quill

No matter how they jeered and teased, there was no getting Sentry into the water. Even the triple dog dare, which would have worked on Quill without fail, held no effect. She merely gazed at them serenely from her lakeside lounger, told them they were all very clever, and closed her eyes once more, returning to sunbathing.

“Boo,” Quill called, cupping his hand around his mouth. He tried to splash water in her direction, but Sentry had wisely set her chair out of range.

“Oh, quit bugging her,” Nova said from deeper in the lake where she was treading water in her cute old-fashioned swim suit. Even in the water, she hadn’t taken off the elbow-length glove she wore to cover the scars from her lab accident. “Let the woman get some sun away from our shenanigans.”

“I refuse to let my best friend be too much of a coward,” and Quill raised his voice over his shoulder as he swam toward Nova, “to swim in the lake!”

“Love you too, Quill,” Sentry called back without opening her eyes.

The sun did feel nice, admittedly. Their first day at the cabin—one of Lucius’s family’s many, many vacation properties—had been gray and cold and unpromising, but today the skies were clear and the air was warm. Donning a pair of swim trunks and cannon-balling off of the private dock was the only logical choice to be made, in Quill’s opinion. And the others had followed not far behind: Nova in her one-piece, Lucius in speedos that left absolutely nothing to the imagination, and Aila in what Quill suspected just to be her underwear, as she hadn’t gone shopping for their vacation, even at Sentry and Nova’s urging. Sentry herself had donned a tankini but was staying far, far away from the water, having made it clear just how much she found the thought of parasites and other lakely dangers distressing.

Swimming wasn’t as easy as it had been before his accident, but Quill made it out to Nova and began to tread water beside her. She closed her eyes and tipped her face to the sun. “This feels so nice. I didn’t realize how much I needed a break. I had more than four hours of sleep last night, Quill. It felt like a miracle.”

“I may never go back,” Quill agreed. “Do you think Lucius would mind if we, like, just moved in permanently? There’s a bidet. Have you ever stayed in a place that had a bidet?”

“Can’t say that I have.” Nova turned. “Aila! Have you ever stayed in a place with a bidet?”

“When would I have done that?” came the reply. Aila didn’t even lift her head up from where she was floating on her back, eyes closed.

Lucius swam up, popped underwater, and emerged so that his hair flowed back in perfect waves. The sunlight caught very faint freckles on his shoulders. “I’ve been meaning to bring that up. It’s rather a travesty that we don’t have one at home. We could have one installed quite easily.”

“Eh,” Aila said, eyes still closed. “Feels bougie.”

“How dare you,” Lucius said.

Aila merely opened one eye a slit and smirked at him. Lucius, after a moment of grumpiness, smiled back.

“Did we bring a football or anything?” Nova twirled herself around in the water like a spinning top. “Or some kind of water game we could play? Not that I don’t love swimming.”

“We could play Chicken,” Quill said. When the other three merely gave him varying glances of confusion or interest (or disinterest on Aila’s part), he tilted his head. “Did none of you ever play Chicken as kids?”

“The thing where you dart out in front of cars and stay there until they almost hit you?” Nova asked.

“No, the bit where one person gets up on somebody’s shoulders and tries to knock another person—on somebody else’s shoulders—over into the water. Here, here, I’ll show you. It’s fun.” Quill glanced between the three of them and did some quick calculus that he would never, ever tell anybody else about. “Here, Aila, let me up on your shoulders.”

Aila kept floating for a few seconds more before she seemed to shrug to herself. “Eh. I’ve got nothing better to do.”

Left to his own devices, Quill was positive that he would have made it awkward to clamber up on Aila’s shoulders. But he’d forgotten just how strong rugby made Aila, and how often she went swimming. As they approached the shallower depths, she disappeared under the water. Quill felt something almost hit him from behind, and then he was launched toward the sky. He yelped and clung on for dear life as Aila straightened to her full height, the water coming up to her shoulders.

“Ooh! Ooh! I want to try. Lucius, let me up.” Nova scrambled over to Lucius and climbed up on his shoulders, kicking her feet excitedly (Lucius winced a little). She held her arms up like an old timey boxer. “You’re going into the water, bird-boy.”

“Hey, now,” Aila said. “Let’s make this fair. One hand behind your back.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, Quill.”

“I don’t need two hands to beat you,” Quill said, though he nearly disproved his entire point by overbalancing and almost falling off of Aila’s shoulders.

She merely locked her hands around his knees. Nova put her scarred hand behind her and waggled the fingers of her remaining hand at Quill.

“Oi!” A voice from the shore made all of them turn to look at Sentry, who’d sat up and set her book aside. “What are you doing? That looks dangerous!”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Lucius called back. “Aila and I have it all in hand.”

Sentry hovered on the edge of the lounger like she wasn’t entirely sure she believed that. “Well, just—just be careful.”

Quill used the distraction to lean over, scoop up a handful of water, and fling it in Nova’s direction.

“Hey!”

And just like that, the battle commenced. Aila charged forward with Quill holding on, Lucius did the same with Nova, and a wrestling match for the ages followed. Nobody would ever come up with a consensus on who actually hit the water first, though. Lucius swore it was Quill, Nova agreed, Quill argued vehemently that it was of course Nova, and Aila remained the neutral party, content to be the base for many, many games of Chicken afterward.

And Sentry remained on the shore, pretending she wasn’t keeping a close eye on them for injury and doing a horrible job at hiding it.

All in all, a pretty perfect summer morning, if you asked Quill.

+ 1 Time They Carried Her

“Sign up for survivalist camp, she says. It’ll be fun, she says. We’ll learn cool new techniques to surviving in the wild. Great bonding time!”

“To be fair,” Nova said from behind Aila’s head, where Aila couldn’t really see her without craning her neck, “we were having a great time bonding until, you know, all of this.”

Because Aila couldn’t see her, and moving to do so would only get her scolded, she had to imagine Nova waving her free hand in aggravation.

“I for one am having a perfectly lovely time,” Lucius said.

Aila could never tell when he was being sarcastic, and she didn’t see that changing any time soon. She suspected in this case he might be genuine, though. The course instructor had complimented him on his very fancy camping vest (“It has so many pockets,” Lucius had said) and nobody had yet found the heart to tell Lucius that had been sarcasm. So all through this hike he’d been in a particularly good mood. That made him the only one, probably.

Things had been going rather well during the whole course, up until this morning: the morning of their final day in the course, when they would be tested “randomly” and, using little but their wits, a compass, and a map, navigate themselves back to the parking lot. Camping with her friends had been fun, even if it meant being squished into a two-person tent with Sentry and Nova (the latter of whom had very bony elbows) at night. Aila liked the outdoors. She liked the feeling of self-sufficiency that this course had brought with it. She imagined herself as something of a pioneer. In the olden times, she would’ve kicked ass at all of this.

Unfortunately, it was nigh on impossible to kick ass with a “broken leg.”

And she wasn’t hiking out of the woods. She was being carried. On a stretcher. This sucked. The instructor had folded his arms over his chest in a rather smug fashion as he gave them their final assignment. His eyes had lingered between Sentry and Aila, easily the tallest members of the group. And he’d narrowed in on her, which was why she was being lifted by her friends on a tarp stretcher that they’d improvised.

“This sucks.”

“Yes,” Quill said, grimacing. “So you’ve said multiple times. We’re not having the best go of it either right now.”

Aila closed her eyes and leaned her head back. She’d already had to fold her arms close into her chest like a sleeping vampire to avoid being bumped and jostled about. The tarp they’d fashioned into a stretcher smelled bad. She felt like she’d been stuffed into a tiny little space, not great when she suspected she was a little claustrophobic anyway. “I’m bored.”

“I’ve got several books you could read,” Nova said, completely earnest.

That would only make this day worse, having to read. Fortunately Sentry, who was planted on the right side above Aila’s head and therefore easy to see, laughed. “I don’t think a book will help.”

“I was up late reading all about the local fauna in case there was a pop quiz,” Nova said. “I could tell you about some of them?”

“I’d rather read the book,” Aila said.

Nova tilted her head, considering. “You know what? Fair.”

“It’s not long to the parking lot,” Lucius said in a cheerful voice, though he was a bit out of breath.

“Feels like miles,” Quill grumbled.

“That’s probably because it is. I was lying,” Lucius said, tittering nervously.

Aila had pointed out that the course instructors couldn’t see them, so she could just get up and walk for a bit until they were nearing the end and all of her friends could be spared, but Nova had looked so abjectly horrified at the thought of cheating on a test that Aila had backpedaled and felt a little actual shame. Just a tiny bit, though. Not enough to fully penetrate the thick barrier of indifference she liked to carry about.

“Fine,” she said now, with a sigh. “Tell me all about these fascinating plants of yours, Nova. Not like I can do much else right now.”

Nova squeaked in excitement, reaching down to grab Aila’s leg.

“Ow,” Aila deadpanned. “That one’s broken.”

“I thought it was the other one?”

“It’s not real,” Quill said. “She’s messing with you.”

“Right. Right! Okay, so to start with, these are deciduous trees—”

Aila tuned her out in record time. Since there wasn’t anything to do but lay stiffly with her arms in a stupid position and the stretcher swaying nauseatingly below her, Aila let the patter of Nova’s excited overexplaining wash over her. She closed her eyes to stave off the nausea of watching the canopy overhead.

Sleep didn’t come right away, though it drifted near enough that she dozed a few times. Finally, she heard Nova whisper, “Did I do it? Is she out?”

“Think so, yeah,” Sentry replied.

“Oh, thank H’esper.”

“Quill!”

“We’re the ones marching miles carrying her and she’s whining?” Quill whispered back. “Have a care for my legs. I can’t feel them anymore.”

“Me either,” Lucius said.

“Meanwhile, all she has to do is lay there and be carried!”

“Which for Aila is torture and you know it,” Nova hissed.

“I do suppose she’d whine less with an actual broken leg,” Lucius said, thoughtfully, and Aila nearly gave up the game by grinning. “She does have that stoicism thing going for her. I rather admire it at times. Daddy always said that I should be stron—ow, splinter!”

“You okay? We can take a break if need be,” Sentry said.

“I’ll endeavor to carry on,” Lucius said, but he sounded tearful.

Aila almost opened her eyes again, but joining this conversation would require more mental energy than she was willing to expend. Maybe if she did actually fall asleep, this nightmare of a hike would be over sooner.

“She does look kind of peaceful,” Nova said. “In a very Angry Aila way. Nobody tell her I said that. Either of those things.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Sentry promised.

There was a long silence. The stretcher continued to sway, though not in a soothing or repeatable pattern that promoted sleep, and her friends were quiet apart from the sound of heavy breathing as they tromped through the woods. Not a bad day for a hike, overall. She really wished she could just get up and walk alongside them, but if she had to be carried, so be it. At least she had them around her.

Aila nearly opened her mouth to tell them so (and ruin the illusion that she’d been napping this entire time) when Quill cleared his throat. “We are agreed, yes, that she’ll be driving the whole way home since she’s been napping this entire time anyway?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Duh.”

“Why, obviously. I’ll be completely knackered by that point.”

Aila’s smile probably betrayed her, but she elected not to care about that. She merely let the group travel on, carrying her to their final destination in their survival course. There were worse ways to spend a Sunday afternoon, even if it meant being the one to drive them home afterward.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #33 (part one)

Yuri

Apparently, I’m going on a camping trip.

Let me state right now, I'm quite honestly terrified, and I have no idea what possessed me to agree to it.

No... Actually, that's not true. I do know exactly why I said I'd do it. It was a knee-jerk reaction to being frustrated and angry, which is never a good reason to agree to anything. And of course, I'm just obstinate enough to refuse to take back what I said. So, like it or not, I’m going camping.

I've never slept outside in my entire life, unless you count summer afternoon naps on my parents' patio swing. It's difficult to imagine myself sleeping on the ground, and in the forest, no less. I like forests well enough, and I've spent plenty of time on the walking trails on Yukimatsu, but those are clearly marked, and I rarely go there at night. It'll be a whole different story when we're intentionally sleeping and eating and bathing in the middle of nowhere, kilometers away from civilization and electricity and possibly even running water.

Then there's the wildlife. I can't begin to describe how afraid I am of the possibility of snakes, wolves or bears coming near our campsite. I'm not looking forward to the probability of a million insects everywhere, either.

The other thing I'm worried about is what I'm going to eat. According to what Victor was telling his mother this evening at dinner, he seems to think we'll be living on tinned soup and beans, instant coffee, potato chips, hotdogs and marshmallows, but he knows I can't eat any of that. In a town like this, I doubt we'll be able to find rice cakes, tofu hotdogs or oven-baked potato chips. I guess I'll have to get used to protein bars, peanut butter and Gatorade, because those are the only things I can think of that are readily available, non-perishable, and safe for me to consume.

I'm also concerned about how I'll cope for three days and two nights with Victor's friends. Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about them. We've talked in video chats several times since Victor and I have been together, and they seem like good and kind people, but as Victor and I both know well, even the closest online relationship doesn't prepare you fully for being with somebody in person. To say the least, I find Ellie and Leo kind of overwhelming.

Leo is lovable, but gives the impression of being somewhat dumb. I don't think he's really stupid, and my guess is that it's more likely he's a deliberate underachiever, like my friends Seiji and Taka. My observation is, living comfortably at home and not having any major responsibilities to speak of seems to produce that result, particularly in men our age. I'd probably be that way too, if I'd stayed with my parents.

Unlike Seiji and Taka, Leo has been to college and has a real job. He's an early childhood educator, which I've learned is more than a glorified child-minder. He works at a preschool with children who are three and four years old, and along with the usual organizing of games, songs, naps and snacks, he helps to teach them academic things like colours, numbers and the alphabet. He also teaches them basic skills like how to tie their shoes or put away their toys. By all accounts, he loves his job. It seems like a perfect fit for somebody as upbeat and high-energy as him.

My biggest issue with Leo is how loud he is, and how he calls me ’little guy’ and talks down to me as if I'm one if his students. Regardless of having explained to him that I'm fluent in English and that I'm capable of understanding everything he says, he persists in enunciating in the annoyingly exaggerated way that people often use when speaking to elders who are slightly deaf. Leo is also endlessly fascinated by Victor and me speaking Japanese to each other, although I think that may have more to do with Victor speaking Japanese than anything else.

As for Ellie, I'm torn by what to think of her. I don't appreciate how she constantly touches Victor. She's always hugging him or putting a hand on his arm or shoulder or back, and the worst part is, I think he likes it. Last night when she was visiting, she had the audacity to steal my spot on the sofa while I was in the washroom, and when I came back, she was lying there with her head on his leg. Evidently, he hadn't bothered to tell her I'm the only one who's allowed to do that. I wanted to scream, and I don't know how I restrained myself.

One thing I do know, though, is that she's absolutely not staying in the same tent as him when we go camping. Or, if all four of us sleep in the same tent, there's no way I'm going to let her sleep next to Victor, even if that means he gets stuck between me and Leo. If she were next to him, I'd probably wake up in the morning and find her completely wrapped around him or something, and I'm sorry, but that's my position. I definitely would scream if that happened.

Despite her obvious inability to keep her hands off my husband, I can't say Ellie is all bad. She's loud and hyperactive, just like Victor and Leo, but she's genuinely friendly and she did make an effort to respect my physical boundaries last night when she was over. I'll give her credit for that, even if it was a little awkward.

Victor must've warned her not to touch me without asking, because after looking me up and down for a second, she gazed into my face and said, "So, how do I greet you? Like, do you feel comfortable shaking hands with people?"

I held out my hand to her. "Yes, I can manage that."

She took my hand like it was made of glass, and when our brief handshake concluded, she asked nervously. "Was that okay for you?"

Behind me, Victor made an undignified snorting sound in his effort not to laugh. "Uh... you know how inappropriate that sounded, right?"

Ellie immediately blushed, and mumbled, "Sorry. But how else am I supposed to check whether or not I touched him the way he likes?"

"Stop, Ellie," Victor said. "You're making it worse."

“It's okay," I said. "Your handshake was fine, and it's nice to finally meet you in person."

"Same," she said. "You're a lot cuter in person than you are on FaceTime. Leo was totally right."

At that, it was my turn to blush. "Why does everyone keep saying I'm cute?"

"Because you are," Victor said.

"Why can't I be 'handsome' or 'gorgeous'?"

Victor slipped his arms around me and hugged me from behind. "You're an elegant gentleman, Yuri Okamoto-Nelson," he said. "How about that?"

"Better," I said. "But, say it like you're not just teasing me next time."

He laughed. "You know what? Saying stuff like that, with that adorable fake pout, is exactly why you're cute."

I grumbled about it, but I supposed I had to concede the point. I'm too small and too baby-faced to be handsome by conventional standards. I'll confess, I like to think of myself as pretty, but since that's not a description typically applied to men, I'll have to settle for being cute.

Our initial failure of social coordination aside, we had a mostly good evening. Victor found a recipe online for homemade ice cream using almond milk, so I was able to participate fully in ice cream and movie night. Victor taught me how to use the ice cream maker, which turned out to be really easy, and which left me feeling proud of myself for the accomplishment of making a treat for everyone to enjoy. Now that I know it's possible to create ice cream I can eat without self-medicating first, I really want to get our own ice cream machine once we're back home in Mt. Komorebi.

Victor and Ellie agreed that I could choose the movie. I think Victor thought I'd pick a historical romance, because he knows I'm really into those, but I went for something else. I found one called Lost Dog's Journey Home that looked like it'd be adorable.

It was a sweet movie, but it was also unexpectedly emotional. It didn't surprise me that Victor was teary-eyed by the last scene, when the little dog reunited with her family, but I was shocked that Ellie was crying as well. Happy endings don't usually make me tear up, but I was thinking about Sango, and I may have had a lump in my throat at the end.

Victor invited Ellie to spend the night, and she accepted, and that's when our good evening began to go downhill.

It was like Victor and Ellie both saw their sleepover as a completely normal occurrence, and I got the sense that in the past, standard operating procedure would have been for them both to sleep in the same bed. Honestly, I think they thought all three of us were going to share the bed, because Victor casually said, "I guess I'd better be in the middle."

"Excuse me," I said pointedly. "I'm in the middle. Between you and Sango."

"Are things about to get weird?" Ellie looked somewhat perplexed. "Like, did I just get kicked out of bed before I even got in?"

Victor scratched his cheek, seeming just as confused as his friend. "Yuri, Ellie's not going to touch you, and she and I already know from experience that this bed's big enough for three people, so..."

"It's not her touching me that's the issue," I said.

"Uh..." Victor began.

"It's cool," Ellie said. "I can sleep on the floor. You've got a sleeping bag, don't you, Victor?"

"Yeah," he said. "My old one's in the closet."

"Maybe you can get that out for me," she said. "Yuri, would you be okay with me staying here in the room, at least?"

I wasn't, but it seemed uncharitable to say so. I went with, "That's fine."

I'm not sure I have the right words to describe what happened after that. Victor fetched his sleeping bag from the closet, and we all settled in; Victor and I in the bed, and Ellie on the floor. I was tired and I wanted to sleep, but it was fairly clear that neither Victor nor Ellie was sleepy. They spoke quietly, but it was still too much for me.

I pretended to be asleep, although I doubt Victor was convinced. He didn't comment on it, in any case.

I don't know how long he and Ellie chatted. They talked about everything, it seemed, including a discussion of the upcoming camping trip that I hadn't as yet been consulted about, and a lengthy stroll down memory lane to revisit several past camping misadventures.

Eventually, they wound down, and both of them fell asleep. I was exhausted beyond the point of drifting off easily by then, and I was starting to feel an all-too-familiar cramping in my belly, so it took me much longer to find my way to slumber.

In the morning, I was displeased to find that, exactly opposite of my wishes, Ellie was in our bed. She was sprawled half on top of Victor, and one of her hands was very close to somewhere if definitely shouldn’t have been. I poked Victor, trying to wake him. He rolled toward me, dislodging our bed invader in the process.

“What…?” he said sleepily.

“Your friend isn’t on the floor any more,” I said.

I glared at him, but all he offered was, "Don't look at me like that. I just noticed, too."

I did my best to pull the blankets over my head. "Go away and leave me alone. Both of you."

He patted my shoulder through the blanket. "I'll take Sango out for you."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Victor and Ellie both got out of bed, and as they were leaving the room, I heard him say to her. "Don't mind Yuri. He's not a morning person."

By the time I got up, Ellie was gone. I found Victor in the living room, doing something on his iPad. He looked like he was deep in concentration, but glanced up from the device when I sat down next to him.

"Hey," he said. "I'm glad you finally decided to make an appearance. You want to hear about what we're thinking of doing this afternoon?"

"As in you, Leo and Ellie?"

"And you," he added. "How would you feel about going to the museum? It's not the most elaborate collection, but is says on their website that they've got an exhibit on ancient musical instruments right now, and there's always interesting stuff about the history of Willow Creek."

"No thanks," I said.

"Why not? You like history, and the museum's nice and quiet. We were thinking about going to the municipal pool afterward. You could show off your swimming skills."

"I don't feel like going to the pool."

I did want to go to the museum, but I would rather have viewed it with Victor, minus his entourage. I'm not sure what I'd expected when we left home to come here for a visit, but I'm certain spending every available hour with Victor's friends wasn't it. I guess I'd been hoping the two of us would do things together, that he'd show me places around town that were important to him, and that he'd introduce me to what mattered most to him about his hometown.

Then again, maybe that's what he thought he was doing. Maybe the most important thing about Willow Creek wasn't Willow Creek itself, but the people that were in it. And I was uncomfortable with them.

Victor sighed. "Okay. I guess the museum is off the table, then. Is there anything you want to do, or should I just assume you're going to spend the next two weeks watching TV and reading in bed?"

"I want to spend time with you," I told him.

"You could do that, if you'd agree to anything I'm asking you to do with me," he said, sounding annoyed.

"With you," I repeated. "I want to spend time with you."

"You don't want me to be with my friends. Is that it?"

"No, that's not what I said. You can be with your friends, but it'd be nice if you could pay attention to me, too."

"What do you think the museum idea was about?" he said. "You think Leo and Ellie are into that? We were trying to think of something you'd like, so we could all do stuff together and so you could get to know them better, but I guess you're not interested in knowing them, are you? I was going to suggest that you should come up to Granite Falls and camp with us this weekend, but you probably don't want to do that, either."

"Fine," I said. "If you're telling me the only way to be with you right now is to be with your friends as well, I'll go to Granite Falls."

"Try not to make it sound like a chore.”

I bit back the sharp reply that was on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds. I released the air as slowly and quietly as I could. "I didn't mean to," I said. "I'll go camping with you. I've never been camping before, but I guess I can learn."

“Well, nobody’s forcing you, so don’t feel obligated."

"I'll go," I said.

He shrugged. "Okay. Whatever."

Don't make it sound like taking me with you is a chore, is how I wanted to respond, but what I said was, "Do you actually want me to go with you?"

He looked offended. "Yeah, I do. Why else would I have asked? But, if you're only doing it because you think it's what I want..." He trailed off, shrugging again. "No, never mind. Let's just try to make the best of it, all right? I'll look out for you. It'll be fine."

“Okay.”

“Who knows? You might even find something to like about it.” With that, he set his iPad down and stood up. “Mom left me a list of chores, so I’m going to get going with that. Once you’re dressed, come outside and join me if you feel like it.”

I did not go outside, other than to take Sango for a walk. I passed a significant part of the day working because, unlike Victor, I'm not on administrative leave from my job. Luckily, I almost always work remotely, so as long as I meet my deadlines, it usually doesn't matter where I am. I filled up the rest of my day playing with Sango and reading.

I didn’t see much of Victor all day, even though he didn’t go anywhere. He was busy raking leaves and doing other yard maintenance while his mother was at work, and I think he went for a bike ride at some point. His friends didn’t show up in the afternoon. I have no idea what he might’ve told them, and frankly, I didn’t care to know.

When Dr. Nelson got home, she cooked my favourite meal of tarragon seasoned chicken, rice and steamed carrots. I ate as much as I could, and I was sorry when I had to tell her that I wasn't feeling the best and couldn't finish everything on my plate. I hated disappointing her, particularly because she made the effort to prepare something I like, but there was nothing to be done for it.

Victor and I barely spoke to each other during dinner, but he was his typical chatty self with his mother. He told her that he and his friends were thinking of taking a drive to nearby Newcrest, for mini golf and amusement park rides. I hadn’t even been invited to that, so I guessed he’d given up hope that I’d say yes to any further group activities he proposed.

After dinner, Victor stayed in the kitchen to help his mother clean up, and I went downstairs to attempt to figure out exactly what roughing it in the great outdoors might entail. Less than five minutes of internet research had me turning my phone off and hiding it under my pillow.

Resigned, I dragged my luggage into the middle of the room, and opened my biggest suitcase on the bed. I was sure I was in no way prepared for the adventure that lay ahead of me. A quick perusal of my clothing and accessories told me as much.

I was in the midst of that futile exercise when Victor came in. His expression was unreadable, but he didn't appear obviously moody or angry. I was grateful for that small mercy, at least.

"Yuri, what are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm trying to get ready to go camping," I said.

"You were serious about that?"

"You thought I wasn't?"

He didn't answer, perhaps because he assumed there was no correct way to do it. He looked from me to my luggage and back again. "You can't bring your suitcase," he said. "There's only so much space in Leo's car, and we'll need most of it for gear and supplies. We're only going for two nights. You can put a few things in a backpack."

"I know I can't bring a suitcase," I said. "I'm just trying to choose my outfits. What am I supposed to wear? I don't think I have anything appropriate for the forest."

"Jeans and sweaters are fine," he said. "There's no dress code. I wouldn't bring any of your designer sweaters if I were you, though. In fact, don't bring anything you don't want to get dirty."

I bit my lip. "That narrows it a lot. Now I really don't know what to pack."

"I'll tell you what," he said. "Why don't you put all this stuff away for now? I'll help you figure it out in the morning, and if you really don't have anything appropriate, maybe we can go to Canadian Tire or the Work Warehouse and find you some stuff."

"But... those don't sound like places where I'd like to shop."

"The places you like to shop probably don't have what you need for camping," he said. "Trust me, okay? We'll get you outfitted for the woods.”

"Okay," I said.

"We should pick up a sleeping bag for you, too. You could probably borrow Mom's, but you're going to need your own when we go to Selvadorada, so we might as well get it now."

"We're going to be sleeping in a tent in Selvadorada, too?"

"I'm pretty sure there aren't going to be any hotels near where we'll be staying," he said. "Maybe we could rent a cabin there, but I'd rather go for the full experience, wouldn't you?"

"I... I don't know if I want that full of an experience," I said, all of a sudden feeling very scared about our future excursion to the rainforest. "I think I'd rather sleep under a proper roof and behind a door that can be locked."

"Why don't we see how things go this weekend, before we make a final decision about our accommodations in Selvadorada?" he said.

I peered down at the contents of my suitcase, reaching into my mind to find even the tiniest spark of excitement for our weekend plans. But, as much as I wanted to feel something other than anxiety and fear, at that moment, those were the strongest emotions I had.

My throat started to ache, and I could feel myself starting to shake a little. “Is it too late to change my mind?”

“About this weekend, or Selvadorada?”

“Possibly both, but I meant this weekend.”

"I already told you that you don’t have to go with us, didn't I?" Victor said. "I’d really like you to, but it’s your choice in the end.”

"It won't be much fun for you if you have to look after me the whole time."

"Look, everyone knows it's going to be your first time. Nobody's going to expect you to do anything on your own, if you're not ready for it," he said. "If you'd let Leo and Ellie help, we could all look after you. We could be in it together, and maybe it would be fun. They want to be your friends, you know, and it's starting to get super uncomfortable for me to keep making excuses for you, for why you don't want to be around them."

"I'm sorry. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"Nothing," I said. Frustrated by my own lack of courage, I closed my suitcase more forcefully than I'd intended. "Never mind."

Victor gazed at me for a long moment. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't look like nothing to me. You want to tell me about it?"

On one hand, I did want to tell him about it, because I wanted him to comfort me, but on the other hand, I was too embarrassed to confess that the problem was my utter failure at overcoming my fear. I was angry with myself for making a spur-of-the-moment decision that I was too stubborn to back out of, yet simultaneously too frightened to follow through on. And I'd have to do it all in the company of people that I was too ashamed to admit made me anxious by their mere presence. All of this could've been forestalled if I'd only used a bit of logic and said no in the first place. If I was miserable now, it was nobody's fault but my own.

I shook my head. "Can you... can you just hold me, please?"

He came over to me and gathered me in his arms. "What’s wrong?”

“My belly hurts,” I said. It wasn’t a lie; I did have a gnawing pain in my stomach, and it felt like the type that was likely to get worse before it got better. My mental state wasn't helping it improve either, I was sure.

Victor stroked my back, his hand moving in a long, firm, calming rhythm. He said, "Is this a 'my belly slightly hurts and I want cuddles and sympathy' sort of thing, or is it hurting really bad?"

"It's moderately bad," I said. "I'm functional, obviously, but I don't feel great."

"Do you think this is the start of a flare-up?"

"I don't know," I tried to say, but my voice caught on the last word.

Suddenly, I found myself fighting tears. I clenched my jaw, determined I was not going to cry. I hate crying. It's humiliating, and I always feel exhausted and horrible afterwards.

I tightened my arms around Victor and pressed my face into his shoulder, clutching fistfuls of the soft fabric of his sweater.

"Yuri." Victor said my name softly. "Tell me what's really wrong."

"My stomach really hurts," I said.

"Would you feel better if I said you don't have to go camping? I'll stay here with you. We'll think of other stuff to do."

"No." My throat was so tight, I could barely speak, but I somehow got out. "I don't want to ruin the weekend for you. I always do that. it's not fair, and I... I'm sorry."

"You won't be ruining anything."

"Leo and Ellie won't go without you. I'd be ruining it for them."

"They'd understand," he said.

I wondered if they would, and I wondered if Victor truly did.

Their love for each other is so deep and strong that it's impossible to misread as anything else. I've witnessed it firsthand when they've been over here to visit. When he's with them, Victor is happier and more at ease than I've ever seen him.

As much as I wanted to be with him myself, I realized I'd already taken him away from Ellie and Leo for two years, and in a couple of weeks, I’d be doing that again. His time with them now is precious, and I didn't want to be held responsible for shortening it. I could imagine how much more Leo and Ellie would resent me than they probably already do, and how Victor might resent me too, even if he swore he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry," I said again, because I couldn't think of anything else.

"Please don't say that," Victor said. "I need you to actually talk to me, okay? If you're sick, I get that, and I get it if you're nervous about going to Granite Falls, but the way you're acting lately is just... I don't know. I'm worried about you."

"I wish I wasn't here," I whispered.

"What? Why?"

"I ruin everything."

"I don't understand what you're talking about," Victor said.

"Everything," I said. "I made you choose between me and your friends. I made you leave your home and the people you love most, and I've gotten you into situations that would never even have existed if it weren't for me. I've been trying so hard to be less clingy and needy, but I don't know how to do it, and... and I'm scared, and..."

I had to stop at that point because I could feel my composure starting to slip. I bit down on the inside of my cheek until the pain of it rivaled the pain in my stomach. It gave me something to focus on besides the flood of tears I was desperate to avoid.

"Yuri, you didn't make me leave," Victor said. "I left because I wanted to, because I love you and I wanted to be with you."

"Do you regret it?" I asked.

"Being with you? Never for a second."

"No. I meant leaving home."

He fell silent, and for a moment, my ragged breathing became the loudest sound the room. I gathered every scrap of willpower I had, ordering myself not to panic. I was afraid he was going to say yes.

Several seconds later, he did.

"I have to tell you the truth," he said. "Sometimes I do wish I'd never left here, and I've been feeling that a lot this past week especially, but I promise it has nothing to do with you. I love you, and if I magically got a do-over, I'd still travel halfway around the world for you."

"Would you?" I said. "Knowing what you know now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Knowing how you'd always have to take care of me, and how there'd be so much drama with my family, and how you'd be thousands of kilometers away from everything and everyone you care about."

"I care about you," he said.

"I know, but I'm one person." I sighed. "If you really want to be honest, tell me something."

"What?"

"If you could have your dream life, what would it look like?"

"It'd look like this. Like me being with you."

I pulled away from him, so I could look into his eyes. "No," I said. "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you'd wish for, if you could live in an ideal world."

"I'd be with you," he said, beginning to cry. "Yuri, I don't understand what you're asking. Do you... do you not want to be with me? Because I thought—“

"Listen to me," I said. "I'm not asking you about us. I'm asking what you want right now. If you could live anywhere, be anything, have any specific people around you, what would that be like?"

He shook his head. "You really don't want me to tell you."

"Yes, I do."

"Okay." He drew in a breath and let it out shakily. "If we're talking about an ideal world, you're right. I never would've left Willow Creek. I would've stayed here and kept working as a personal trainer and swimming coach, and I'd be volunteering at the dog shelter. I would've stayed with my family and friends, and maybe some day I would've gone to university to be a physical therapist." He looked away from me briefly, and when he returned his gaze to mine, there was pain in his eyes, mixed with a spark of something akin to anger. "But, I gave all of that up. For you. Do you understand how huge that is? I gave up everything because I thought you were everything."

"You thought..."

"This conversation is pointless," he said. "I made my choice and now I'm living with it. That's all. There's no perfect world, only this one."

"But—"

"Why did you even make me tell you?"

"Because I needed to know."

"Why? What do you get out of it?"

"Nothing," I said. "It wasn't about me."

“It’s always about you.”

“It’s not,” I said. “At least, I don’t want it to be. It’s like I told you in Kyoto. I want to take care of you. I’m—“

“If that’s what you think you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong,” he said. “Dumb hypothetical questions don’t do anything for me. Maybe instead of torturing me with something you know I can’t have, just try to see things from my point of view for once.”

“That is what I’m trying to do,” I said.

He opened his mouth as if he was about to reply, but quickly closed it. Abruptly, he turned toward the door.

Halfway out of the room, he glanced over his shoulder. "Do whatever the hell you want about the camping trip, because I'm deciding right here and now, I'm going anyway. I'm going to get as much out of my time here as I can, because who knows when I'll get to see this place again after this?"

"Victor—“

"I'm done talking about it," he said, and then slammed the door behind himself as he departed.

I stood there for perhaps a full minute, staring at the closed door, trying to figure out at which point our conversation had taken such a drastically wrong turn, and asking myself what I should do next. In the past, I would've let Victor run off to sulk in whatever corner he happened to find convenient. This time, however, I decided I wasn't going to allow him to walk away from me before we were finished talking.

I opened the door and ascended the basement stairs as quickly as my aching body would allow. Entering the kitchen, I was just in time to catch a glimpse through the glass garden door of Victor's red sweater disappearing around one of the trees in the backyard.

i didn't pause to put on my coat. I stepped into my shoes and ran out the back door after him.

[bunnimew]

Emma Knows Best

Rating: G Fandom: Rise of the Guardians  Characters: Jackson Overland, Emma Overland Tags: Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Cute, All the Cute, Humor, attempts at humor Summary: For RotG Secret Santa 2020 #32: Jack's cute little Sister

This whole thing only exists for us to see Jack's sister be cute.

I hope you like it! <3

On AO3 here.

The feast was going to be amazing.

Everyone who owned a mostly rectangle table had dragged it outside to help hold the food. The whole village chipped in. There were so many types of bread, cheese, stews, loafs, sides, and sandwiches that Jack’s stomach hurt in anticipation of just how much he was going to eat tonight.

But first…

“Jaaack!”

“You look fine,” Jack said automatically.

Emma huffed from behind the curtain like only a young lady could. “That’s not it.”

“That’s always it.”

Emma sighed and it might as well have been another huff. “Jack!”

“Alright, yes.” Jack left the window he’d been spying the celebration through. It was coming together piece by piece and every minute that went by filled him with just that much more excitement. He knew Emma felt the same, but she had never been as laid back as he was, and, honestly, that was probably a good thing. “What is it?”

Emma nudged herself halfway around the curtain, keeping herself modestly hidden, but revealing The Problem to Jack. “I can’t get this button!”

It was more like three buttons, but Jack didn’t say that. He immediately took both halves of the dress in hand and began fastening them together. Somebody else probably should have been helping her with this, but there wasn’t anybody else. Mom was busy cooking their contributions to the feast and her friends were all at their own homes getting ready themselves.

It was left to Jack and he wasn’t going to leave her to cry over buttons.

With the last one fastened, she disappeared behind the curtain again, then burst out a moment later with a dramatic twirl. “How do I look?”

Jack raised his arms with a flourish. “Like a princess!”

Emma threw up her arms in disbelief. “Be serious!”

Jack lowered his arms. “Like my sister.”

Emma dropped her arms to her waist. “Jack.”

Jack shook his head and gestured helplessly at her. “You look pretty! What more do you want me to say?”

She huffed, but, “That’ll do.” Then she looked him over. “Is that what you’re wearing?”

That tone, there was no right answer. “Yes?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Jack!” She hurried over and grabbed his arm to tug him back toward his room. “This is a celebration! You can’t wear what you wear every day!” She was way stronger than she looked, and Jack was too afraid to really fight her on it, so he found himself shoved back in his room and the door shut in his face. “Don’t come out until you’ve put on something nice!”

Jack hated wearing his nice clothes. Not because they weren’t nice, but because he couldn’t be trusted not to mess them up, and then someone had to repair them, or replace them, and that was a chore he didn’t enjoy being at fault for.

Unfortunately, Emma had a point. If everyone else was dressing up, and Jack knew they were, then it would look bad on his mom if he arrived in anything less.

So okay, he would wear something nice.

Jack hadn’t thought he’d been that long getting dressed, but by the time he left his room again, Emma was staring out the window watching a group of dancers by the feast. Evidently, the celebration had begun.

Jack dropped into a dramatic bow. "Your chariot awaits!"

Emma turned from the window in shock and surprise, but, used to Jack and his antics, got over it. "That's much better," she said in approval of his fine button down and cloak, "but what chariot?"

"This one!" Jack cried as he raced forward to lift her up. She squealed in protest, but quieted by the time he had her settled on his back.

"If you put wrinkles in my dress, Jack, I'll never forgive you."

Jack grinned as he carried her out to the feast. He was already forgiven and they both knew it.

As much as Jack loved to hog his sister to himself, he knew better than to try and obediently 'galloped' his way over to her friends where he dropped her off before leaving to help their mother with their contributions.

Turns out she also approved of his outfit, proving Emma was right again. Jack figured he ought to just get used to that. Little Sisters were always right, weren't they?

She shooed him away to join the dancing which, yes, okay, he was supposed to participate in, but it was never as fun as it looked. He suffered several minutes of following directions until everything improved when Emma inserted herself across from him as his partner, which meant he could get away with misbehaving and making faces at her. She giggled and laughed and made faces back at him and, in general, made the whole thing bearable and much more fun.

Two songs later and they were sneaking away to the food together. Emma hadn't eaten since breakfast and Jack had forgotten to eat at all, so they weren't passing up the opportunity to dig in as soon as it was socially appropriate to stuff their faces. They sat across from each other at the widest table and Jack passed her jam when she traded him cured ham.

"This is so good, Jack!" she said, shoving a plate of cheese across the table to him. "You have to try it!"

As if Jack could say no to cheese. He grabbed two slices for his plate and shoved a third between his lips. "Mmm! That's amazing. Here, try it with this!"

Jack grabbed a plate of potatoes at his elbow and held it across to her so she could take a spoonful. She stabbed a slice of cheese with her fork, then the potato. "You're right, Jack!" Wow, he didn't hear that very often. "That tastes so good!"

He couldn’t say why, whether it seemed like a good idea or he’d been behaving too long, but Jack apparently ruined it by grabbing a thick slice of honey ham and spreading a sweet berry jam over it. He could tell by the horrified shriek from the other side of the table.

“Jack!” Emma hissed, obviously under the impression she was being quiet, except like all kids, she was actually at least three times louder than she meant to be. She’d figure it out, one day. “That doesn’t go on ham!”

Jack looked right at her and asked, “Why not?”

“Because it goes on these!” She said, pushing a roll at him. He took it from her and stuffed it right in his mouth, totally dry. “At least have some butter!” She sounded completely appalled.

Best to make it worse, then. Jack obediently sliced off a thin pad of butter, then popped it into his mouth, right off the knife. With a wink, just for flair.

She had both hands over her mouth to stifle her laugh. “That’s not how you’re supposed to eat that.”

Jack furrowed his brows. “Says who?”

“Says everyone!”

“Well I’m not everyone,” he said, then pointed the knife at her, “and neither are you.”

She was smiling, and that’s how he knew she understood. But she was shaking her head all the same. “I’m not eating butter alone, Jack. And You can’t make me.”

That was fair.

“Probably for the best.”

“Of course it’s for the best,” she said with poise. It looked adorable on her. “I always know what’s best.”

Jack hoped she never stopped thinking that. “Hey, now. I’m the big brother. That means I get to be right sometimes, too.”

She looked so smug that Jack didn’t know what to do with himself. “Yeah? Well, one day I’ll be big, and then those days are over.”

It took everything inside him not to laugh. He couldn’t laugh; she would never forgive him. And he needed her to forgive him, because he wanted to be there.

He couldn’t wait to watch her grow up.

[rwbyremnants]

NOTE: Car sex, cunnilingus.

WOW, I can't believe after so long between updates it's finally all up! Hope you guys enjoyed the ride and are happy that Ruby and Winter figured it all out. Again, I know sometimes this account goes quiet even though I'm always writing; I just can't always find the time to set aside to edit and update the fics. It won't be right away but I can tell you that the next installment of the White Noise universe is definitely coming someday. Until then, see you in the other fics!

-NBW

=Chapter 11

Once the newly happy couple entered the conservatory, it became too crowded to talk about their private affairs. Everyone was sat around in the living room, surrounding Weiss who took the middle of the sofa with Yang at her side. Blake and Sun had made it, and they were lingering near Yang. There was still no sign of Qrow, Taiyang or Penny yet. They must have been more held up than they thought. Even if people were still engaged in their own conversations rather than fully focusing on their host, it was still too risky.

But that didn't stop Ruby standing in place by Winter's side, idly brushing their hands by one another. Not holding, but enough to make her presence known.

"Okay, I guess we're ready!" Weiss was announcing as Winter hooked her own pinky around Ruby's. No one would have noticed how nervous she was unless they were close to her - either physically or emotionally. Nervous, yet excited.

"Hang on," Blake said, holding up her phone and aiming the camera at Weiss. "Okay, ready!"

"Open Yang's! It's sappy!" Ruby called across the crowd loudly, knowing it would definitely be heard on the recording.

It was a small haul of presents in comparison to previous years, but no one particularly minded. Both the hosts understood that many of their guests either didn't know what to get or couldn't afford much – and they themselves had insisted nobody break the bank. It made the cards reviewed all the more special, which Weiss had Yang display by the fireplace right away.

Nearly an hour later, everyone had gathered at the dinner table. Weiss put the various presents to one side but insisted on wearing the bracelet. While agreeing it was sappy, she loved it – just as both Ruby and Yang suspected she would. Yang and Weiss were sat at one end, with Fènleng in her high chair at the head of the table. By their side were Sun and Blake, then Neon and Inu, then Winter and Ruby. The rest of the guests were further along, with only a few taking the sofa due to lack of space at the table. Everyone took what they wanted from the buffet of sandwiches and snacks, complimenting Neon and Yang who had put it all together on this occasion.

Ruby sometimes managed to give Winter a shy wave. There was still no sign of Penny just yet. But while things were up in the air with Winter, she assumed that was for the best. They could talk soon.

"You know," Winter said to Neon as she leaned to one side so they could speak more easily, "you two did quite a good job on this spread. If you ever get tired of performing, you could probably try your hand at party planning."

Blowing a loud raspberry, she smirked back toward her. "No way! Any nimrod can spread some mayo on bread’n add some tuna or ham. I just needed to do it a few hundred times!"

"Well, I might think about it! I'm sure as hell still not used to going out and people recognising me on the street, like I’m somebody." Grabbing a few of the cheese sandwiches and some potato chips, Yang looked toward her little sister from across the table. "Don't worry, I put Penny's vegan stuff to the side so she'll have plenty when she gets here. Made it special!"

"Oh, great! She'll really like that!" Ruby grinned straight back, having just put a bratwurst on her plate and adding more chips. "They're still held up, I think… traffic must be bad."

"Sometimes it gets pretty congested," Weiss agreed as she popped a devilled egg into her mouth. "Flying out of Nashville is as miserable as LAX. But you get used to it."

"This tuna is excellent," Blake commented with a smile. "You really went all out."

"Seconded! I'm surprised it hasn’t summoned the real cat yet." Taking a few of the tuna sandwiches for herself, Neon then looked back to Weiss while she prepared her own and some of Fènleng's food. "Hey, where is Xu-Xu anyways?"

But while they had their light, aimless conversations, it seemed Ruby was zoning out for a moment. She had got her food, and simply stared blankly at her plate as she began to eat. Dwelling on Penny being late would do no good for her mood, so eating was a good solution.

And so was something else going on under the table. About a third of the way through her bratwurst, Ruby could feel a sensation sliding up her calf. It was very light, but definitely present; a teasing. As it did so, she could hear Winter answering another question Blake had asked.

"Oh, I'm not much of a pet person. But I might be persuaded to take in a rescue." Her eyes flicked between both her and Ruby. "Perhaps a cat and a dog, if they could play nice with each other."

Swallowing the meat in her mouth, Ruby shuddered with both a mixture of shock and pleasure. She could feel very easily it was Winter's soft foot, teasing her with those pedicured nails. And it began to rise! Then it hit her: Winter's ultimate payback for what happened with her father. She wasn't finished with her just yet, but could balance their debts by winding her up in front of all the guests.

"Really?" Blake was laughing with a wider smile. "Maybe find a cat who wouldn't mind being cat-sat by you until you could adopt one of your own. I could help you with that."

The elder Schnee sister hummed her agreement as the teasing went up to Ruby's knee, tracing tiny circles as it went. "You know, that might be nice. Test if I'm really ready to take on a pet full-time."

Again, her eyes went back to Ruby. Now biting her lip, Ruby waited for what was coming. She had to maintain a mask of calm, not show that she was really flustered. She never considered all these factors when doing it to Winter. No wonder she wanted to get back at her in this way; it would teach her not to underestimate how hard this was to do on the receiving end.

"Ahem!" Sun ejaculated toward Winter in regards to her comments. Assuming they were intended for Blake, he leant forward. "'Ix-nay' on the 'Et stuff-pay', alright? These people are super vanilla!"

Leaning forward herself, Winter's foot disappeared during the action. "Nobody would pick up on what we meant if you weren't drawing more attention to it, Monkey Boy," she hissed. Though she was still smiling; not at all upset, just mildly bemused that Sun had let himself get so easily flustered.

Looking downward got his plate and groaning in annoyance instead, he murmured, "Just shut up and eat your sandwiches."

But Ruby was finally sighing with relief, going back to her sandwich. She assumed that Winter had stopped taunting her, thinking she realised how mean it really was in front of people. That she had enjoyed her revenge.

"Aww, it's okay," Blake was murmuring to Sun very gently, petting his shoulder to soothe him. "But Winter is right in this case; we were just talking about pets. No big deal."

"And a well cared for pet is a happy pet," Winter went on, as her foot resumed its upward progress - this time, starting at the knee and working inward. "Don't worry, I've done a lot of pet-sitting in my time."

"Oh really?” Yang put in. “We'll have to get you to cat-sit Xu-Xu for us, Winter. See, we wanted to take Fènleng to Disneyland sometime soon-"

Yang was immediately cut off by Neon. "Kids her age can barely go on anything!"

"Who said it was just for her?"

But the host's little sister was distracted once more. Forced to release the sandwich which dropped to her plate, she froze up once again. Winter was continuing to wind her up in plain sight. She only hoped that no one was going to notice, somehow.

"Wouldn't mind it a bit," she was saying serenely while pushing her foot further and further between Ruby's thighs, underneath the meager protection her skit offered. "Though Neon does have a point. It might be more fun if you leave Fèn with one of us and just go to Disney yourselves."

"I could never do that!" Weiss gasped out, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder for emphasis. "My little girl, alone, for days at a time?!"

"Babe, didn't you wanna go back on tour for a couple of months next year, though?" Yang laughed. Looking back to Neon and Winter, she smiled. "For her, it would mainly be for pictures. We wanna build lots of memories and make some scrapbooks and stuff. You know, stuff to embarrass her with in front of her friends, or when she brings a date home."

Once the foot pressed home beneath the skirt, however, there was a harsh thud at the table from where Ruby jumped in surprise, knees impacting with the surface above. Either way, it got quite a bit of attention - the opposite of what she wanted. Already her cheeks were glowing.

It was remarkable how real the look of confusion and concern on Winter's face was as she asked, "Are you alright?" Even as the toes resumed their progress, getting so close to the mark again, she was laying her palms on either side of her plate, as if pretending she was about to stand.

"I-I… U-Uh…" By now, Ruby could feel her right up against her panties, pressing inward and taunting her fragile flesh. How was she supposed to respond to that with everyone looking? She didn't have as much self-control as Winter did!

There was nothing else for it. As much as she didn't want to give up and accept her fate, she found herself having to move her chair back slightly. He blush was completely red, enough to give Winter a big enough hint that her efforts were not fruitless. Once out of the foot's reach, she shot an apologetic look over toward Weiss.

"S-sorry, just need the bathroom. Where, uh, was it again?"

"There's one right here on this floor," Weiss said in some confusion. "And downstairs and upstairs, of course. You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Y-yeah… I… Sorry, I forgot. I'm being dumb. E-excuse me!"

And barely even managing to tuck her skirt back down in time, Ruby dashed away from her chair and straight to the bathroom, leaving their guests very confused. Winter had to play it cool. Even with the guilty thrill that shot into her stomach, she had to at least pretend that she had no idea that anything was wrong with Ruby. However, after a full minute had passed, she withdrew her phone from her bosom and sent a quick message.

R u ok?

"Your sister's kinda crazy, Yang." Neon was heard commenting as she went to grab more tuna sandwiches.

"Yeah, but at least she's in better moods now." Yang admitted, looking toward the eldest Schnee with a bright smile. "We got Winter to thank for that."

But after a short moment, there was a buzz through to Winter's phone. A message back.

Fine! I guess I deserved that. But I knew I was gonna end up moaning so I had to leave quick! D:

"Oh, I just… did what I could," Winter said evasively as she began to type back.

You could have stopped me and said it was too much, I just thought it would be fun ; ) I'll help you moan more later

"My sister's so modest," Weiss said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. But she was smirking. "She's so good at reassuring people. The same sister who once convinced me that if I ate a caterpillar, I would have a literal butterfly in my stomach."

"That was ONE time!" Winter said in exasperation as she laid her phone down to take a drink of water. "And I was five, you can hardly blame me!"

While everyone chuckled, Weiss said, "Can't I?"

"Oh, that's bush league compared to the stuff I did." Yang laughed, holding up the hand with her sandwich to gesture along with her story. "When we had our first dog, Ein, Ruby would always try and run around on all fours like him. I told her if she did absolutely everything a dog does, she would be able to turn into one."

"Oh my God, please tell me she didn't whiz on any fire hydrants!" Sun was already laughing halfway through Yang's story, but then came another vibration from Winter's phone.

Honestly I haven't felt up to doing anything so long it's so tempting just to go to town on myself in here o//o

"Nothing like that!" Yang could be heard continuing. "But I looked away for two minutes, then suddenly both Ein and Ruby are rolling in a pool of mud! Dad was so pissed when we got home!"

With a knowing glint in her eye, Blake said in a deceptively-casual tone, "Wow, maybe you should look after Ruby when you look after Xu-Xu, Winter."

"Oh? Oh, I- perhaps so!" Now Winter could feel her own desires returning, but she was well practiced at maintaining a façade; no one else would know she was turned on. Even as she began to casually type…

Not yet. Please? I want to help more… directly. Tell me where to meet u

Here? Really???

But Yang quickly gave Blake a rather playful glare. She might have been oblivious to what Blake was talking about, but assumed it was something else instead. "What are you saying, my sister's a furry or something? Gross."

Another vibration. Ruby had added to her last reply before Winter could type her own: My car.

"Nothing against furries, but if she likes rolling around in the dirt, might be better to have someone putting her on a leash." Again, Blake glanced at Winter with a smirk.

"Well, I think this conversation is taking a turn for the strange," Weiss observed as she reached for another handful of chips to add to her plate. "My sister walking my sister-in-law like a dog! You're weird, Blake."

"Weird, yeah," Blake was muttering while Winter replied to her texts.

Slip out the back and around the house, I'll excuse myself when I can

"Some people are into that," Neon spoke up with a small smirk. In fact, she looked toward not only Weiss who started the conversation, but also occasionally to the woman sat opposite her. The ever-silent Inu.

"For real? People get off on being treated like a dog?" But the more Yang commented on it, the shorter Inu seemed to become as she sank down in her seat, cheeks reddening. Contrary to what the three people at the table who had prior experience in the Clamp assumed, it seemed there was yet another who shared those sorts of interests among them!

But Winter would have to miss that conversation if it went on. She had just received another message:

I'll text Weiss just to tell her I'll be on the phone. Should buy us enough time. I'm headed to the car now, don't keep me waiting or I'll have to start without you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Feeling her heart speed up into her throat, Winter let out a long, beleaguered sigh. Then she texted back a simple “Ok, be there soon” before pushing her chair back, finally putting on the shoe she had dislodged to tease her poor sub.

"I am sorry, I have to take this after all; some business can't wait. Don't worry, I'll just nip out front and take care of it. Excuse me."

But Blake's amber eyes were focused entirely on Winter as she stood. "Well, have fun." It was said flippantly, as if she were being sarcastic, but they both knew she was serious.

"Hurry back!" Weiss bade her as she strode from the table and out the front door. "All this food isn't going to eat itself!"

Due to how much closer the front door was to the car than the back door, Winter actually made it outside first. Therefore, she spent the time slipping off her cardigan and draping it over one arm, strolling lazily toward Ruby's car. Her heart was pounding with excitement, but she didn't dare show it. Not when there was a slim chance someone might glance out the foyer window and spot her dancing like a giddy schoolgirl.

Before Ruby was in sight, the car could be heard unlocking as the lights flashed. Then came one more vibration from the phone.

Just getting my shoes. Get in, seats can be lowered and there's a blanket in the back, be two seconds ; )

Winter blinked down at the message, then pulled the door handle, sliding into the passenger's side. As she closed the door, she began to message back - because it had to be asked.

Where were your shoes before??

I took them off when I first came over. She always keeps the garden clean so I never bothered to put them back on!

But finally, Ruby was in sight walking around the building. She had managed to avoid the gaze of the other guests as she made her way to the car. But just before she got there, she sent one last teasing text.

Surprised you didn't notice actually ; )))))

Biting her lip, Winter wrapped her phone in her cardigan and put it in the back seat, then grabbed the blanket to pull over herself. She waited until the driver's side door opened before she spoke.

"I had other worries on my mind. But… now that you mention it, I do seem to remember spotting some cute little piggies dancing along the floor…"

Quickly shutting the door behind her and locking it, Ruby grinned just as giddily when she looked back to Winter. She could barely even contain herself as she lowered her seat, attempting to create a more comfortable area for their activities.

"I wasn't thinking about it! Not till you started teasing me with yours. You total asshole, by the way!"

"Just thought I'd pay you back," she said with a grin, sliding the blanket so that she could throw it over Ruby, as well. "A little. Not really make you too uncomfortable - at least, I hope I didn't."

"No, it didn't," she assured her. It wouldn’t do to wound their barely-established relationship with misunderstandings. Scootching slightly toward Winter, she shuffled off her own jacket, tossing it to one side. Then started to undo one or two buttons to give Winter more of a view. "Like I said… I'm just so pent up you were about to make me lose my cool. So I'd rather you do that here, in private."

Now that she had been reassured, it seemed Winter wasn't above more teasing. As she watched the buttons open, she muttered, "Didn't want to let on to your big sister that you were all hot and bothered? I can imagine…"

It was certainly helping the situation, making her growl with desire as she felt deep heat brewing between her legs. But that need was becoming more of a priority than any small talk. It had been too long; not only had she enjoyed no sexual contact with Penny since that time in the car, but she had felt no motivation to take care of her urges on her own. But now that they were back with a passion, all she could do was look her dead in the eye.

"Quit teasing me and make me scream already."

As Winter's smile slowly began to fade, she reached over and grasped Ruby, pulling her across the space to lay atop her. A shoe clattered to the floor while she ran her hands up and down her sides, over her hindquarters.

"Ruby, I missed you so fucking much," she growled needily, past the point of caring how it sounded. Her hands were already gouging into the backs of the girl's thighs, digging in as they worked their way closer to her centre.

Several shaky gasps fell from from the younger woman’s lips. Still wearing an elated smile, instinct was already starting to take over. No longer did she care about their sub or Dom roles; this time, it was a case of doing whatever each of them wanted, trusting their intuition. Already Ruby felt her hips pushing forward against Winter's needily, desperate to get anything she could of her and push back against those hands in addition. Her arms wrapped around Winter's shoulders, keeping her close as she pressed her forehead against hers.

"I missed you, too." A hand dived into her hair. "I'm so happy you're here."

"I know how we started," Winter began as one hand slid around Ruby's hip to begin hiking up her skirt, to rub against her through the thin material of her underwear. "But now it's so much more than just training you. I… I have thought about you every single day since the last time we saw each other!"

"Nhhh! God, I'm so glad I'm not the only one!" Already she was so warm – and all over! No doubt Winter would be able to feel just how wet she had been, it was soaking her undies already. Looking her dead in he eye, she whispered, "So what are you waiting for? Fuck me." And without hesitating any longer, she crashed her lips up against Winter's.

As she kissed back, harder than ever before, Winter wasted no time. Ordinarily, her hands would have been doing a thousand things, taunting flesh and ghosting up thighs. In this instance, she jerked the crotch of Ruby's soft cotton panties aside and began to rub up and down her dripping folds, fingers moving with practiced ease.

Finally, Ruby could do just as she wanted to in the presence of everyone in that room. And she didn't hold back, moaning contentedly into their kiss as she continued to thrust her hips forward into the slender fingers. Even if she was glad they could do as they wanted, Ruby was able to come up with one downside to their impromptu session: they didn't have an artillery of Winter's wonderful toys to use. If only they had somehow anticipated this reconciliation.

Not that she was complaining. Slender fingers would be able to bring her to just as satisfying a finish. She knew that deep down. And she was so desperate for it she couldn't hold back any of the needy thrusts.

Clearly, the girl was ready for more. Not wanting to be conspicuously gone any longer than they had to be, she plunged her middle finger straight into Ruby, curling in with great relish as her tongue began to do the same with the beautiful mouth atop her own.

"HMMMHH!"

What a loud and needy sound that fell into Winter's mouth. Yesss, that’s the spot right there, Ruby thought. She continued to push herself forward against Winter's hand while she worked at that sensitive spot inside, feeling the slender and thin finger buried inside her. But one wasn't enough. Oh no. To be truly satisfied, she needed more than that. Ruby’s hand dove down toward where Winter was working and tapping at one of her other fingers with hers lightly. Just enough to give an undoubtable hint.

But it seemed that even now, Winter couldn't be satisfied with doing this the usual way. Pausing their kiss, she panted, "You want another? Go ahead. Add another." As she said this, she switched from middle to index, pushing the rest of her hand as far out of Ruby's way as she could manage.

Trying to keep her volume down by habit, she looked down at Winter wide eyed. That wasn't something she had heard of before; born of them working together to push her to orgasm. But the way Winter was so casual about it excited her so much! It was worth a try. Holding her hand right beside Winter's, she pushed a finger inside, trusting Winter to follow.

She did, keeping pace with the entry. Of course, it wasn't quite so easy to pull off as only one of them using two fingers, but it turned out to be just doable. Having two hands in such an area forced Ruby's legs further apart, but she was young and flexible; it wasn't impossible.

"Oooh," Winter cooed as she felt a foreign digit sliding over her own, both of them buried deep in the waiting sex. "How does that feel?"

For some reason, this made Ruby shudder even more. It was one thing not to be fully in control, it was another to hand it completely over. But to share? How many times has Winter done this with others, she wondered… "S-so good…" she breathed needily, even pushing herself up against the hands right at her welcoming warmth, trying to welcome them further in.

"Yeah?" Panting heatedly, she began to move her finger at the same time as Ruby's - but she couldn't quite get the rhythm. That seemed to make her partner undulate and buck even more than she would have done under ordinary circumstances. "Mmm, you look like you're losing yourself in it… I hope it's in the best of ways."

"Nnhhhh, yeah, it d-definitely is," she assured her, holding still for a moment as she tried to sync herself up with Winter's hand. Each time it wasn't quite matched, she shuddered a little more, even squealed on top of things on occasion. She could feel her toes beginning to curl in her shoes already. Why didn't she get off inside? It would have made things more of a challenge, at least.

Winter's lips found their way to Ruby's neck as she felt her began to buck atop her, as she tried to curl at the same speed. She was also just able to get her thumb right up against her clit as she did so, hoping the slight friction from their movements would be enough to help send her into the stratosphere sooner rather than later.

Continuing to buck and twitch as her neck was kissed, the moaning was unfortunately increasing in volume. She couldn't help it one bit, it was such a strange sensation! At times when Winter would curl her finger, Ruby would in another direction, which made her feel her inner walls very slightly stretched out. That was more filling than anything. She could feel her heart beginning to race as she grasped Winter's shirt with her spare hand, and felt the few stray quivers that informed her it wouldn’t be long now.

"C-close… I-I'm close already! F-fuck! What are you doing to me?!"

"Let it happen! Oh God, Ruby - you sound so good!" Winter flexed her finger faster than ever, inwardly loving the feeling of Ruby's sliding over hers; it felt so foreign and new, added an intriguing dimension for her. Clearly, it was doing way more than for the smaller woman atop her. "Cum for me! Cum hard for me, Lady!"

God had she missed that petname. Finally, she was pushed over the edge. When Winter curled her finger one more time, and she did too, she felt them hit that sweet spot just right. That in addition to Winter's play with her clit, and she was done for. Shuddering on top of her, “Lady” moaned one more time as loud as she was able, feeling her inner walls clenching around the digits inside her. She felt her fluids getting out of control again, sprinkling Winter's leg and the seat very slightly.

But they had done it. In the car, at WEISS’S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

"Ohhh, wow," Winter breathed, gazing up at hey affectionately. "I wasn't thinking about your ejaculation problem. But… it's so hot…" Drawing away, she left a light kiss on her lips. "You'll never know how much I missed that these past few months."

For a moment, she just lay on top of Winter's front, gasping for breath and smiling with glee as she gradually came down from her high. That was something she missed for a long while. It felt like a relief to regain waht they had lost. But they were still on the clock. After a minute, she was pulling out her own and Winter's finger so she could descend. "Your turn."

"Oh… oh, that isn't necessary, Ruby," she told her earnestly as she watched the girl sink to the floorboard. "I just wanted to follow through on what I promised at the dinner table. You don't have to…"

But already Ruby was crammed into the footwell of the passenger seat. She still made sure the blanket was covering her up, but she began to brush her hands up and down Winter's thighs needily. While Ruby first needed to get off, she needed Winter as well. She needed to be the one to hear her moan again. Hitching up her skirt with each brush, she smirked.

"But I didn't get to eat yet."

While watching her down there, Winter couldn't help but sigh and smile gently at the face between her knees. After a beat, she whispered to her, "You're the most beautiful woman in the entire world."

"Hmm… Nope!" Without elaborating, she made sure to tuck the blanket over them both to keep the area covered. Anything else, Winter would just have to feel. And first thing was first, she would kiss the insides of her thighs, making her way upward toward her underwear rather quickly. While she knew Winter needed the teasing, they had a limited time-window.

And the elder woman didn't waste any time in allowing her eyes to close, to relax into the gentle motions. She was going to enjoy it, of course, but if she fought against the tiny ripples of pleasure, it would take much longer than if she rode them out.

Lady managed to nudge aside her panties with her nose again. She had a feeling it would be preferred by Winter to do so, as a gentle reminder of their play from before. One that, since Yang mentioned the dog story, was starting to make sense why she enjoyed! She at first delivered a single, small kiss before she opened her mouth wider against the folds, and went in for the kill.

If the kiss had made her sigh, the actions that followed made her moan. Winter's legs raised up to drape over Ruby's back as she opened herself up to more stimulation, more attentions from the ravenous tongue of her lover.

Lover… The title sounded accurate now. Justified. Even the strange things they had put each other through, the worries and the uncertainty, hadn't been enough to stop them from being together. All she wanted was to see that through, to become one with the only person she had ever cared about beyond friendship. To see where things led.

And right now, they were leading further and further toward Winter's finish. That tongue hadn't lost its talent, and lapped at Winter's sex readily and needily. In particular, she focused on the clit, kissing it on occasion over and over again. But she knew to add more. And a hint of that was coming as she parted the lips further with her fingers, the other hand still stroking her inner thigh.

"Ohhh, yes," Winter panted obscenely, pushing a hand into the side of Ruby's head as her back arched very slightly. "Ruby, please - more! It feels so good, I can't help it, I n-need…"

Ruby would absolutely deliver more. Keeping the lips apart, she finally gave her what she craved. Aware it would be awkward for Winter to join her down there, she entered her body with two fingers. In unison with her licking, she pumped in and out of her body with them. All the while she was smirking as she listened to the sound of her new lover.

Her other partner in addition to Penny. It was a dream come true.

The fingers instantly had Winter screaming, curling her stomach as her hungry sex tried to clamp down on them, hold them inside. It hadn't been as long for Winter since she orgasmed, but it being Ruby was enough to get her within a hair's breadth very quickly. Her lips stretched wide and her head fell back completely as she let the feeling wash over her, as a few more good thrusts sent her spinning off into an explosion of pleasure unlike any she had enjoyed in months.

Though it wasn't just the swift orgasm that ended their spontaneous session. It was a small, but sharp knock on the car window. One that made Ruby's head jerk up from under the blanket.

What she saw was a freckle-cheeked ginger smiling in at them. No one else was standing outside her car, luckily enough; only Penny, looking pleased as could be to see her girlfriend. She waved, being that the windows were up and it would probably be hard to hear her through them.

"Holy shit Penny!" Eyes snapping wide open, Ruby was quick to remove her fingers from Winter's body and pull her panties back into place. Even if Penny couldn't hear them, she still waved back, talking nervously. "U-Um… Hi! I… I meant to message you about this!"

"What?" Penny called back. "Hi!"

"Oh shit," Winter was whispering, blinking at the redhead. Even though she was clearly in a good mood, she still felt awkward that there had been no time to discuss things with Penny directly… before such an unfortunate moment!

"U-Um… Uh…" There wasn't any way to talk to Penny without yelling aimlessly in the car ,or finding her keys to start the engine and roll the window down. Even if it wasn't the most convenient of moments, she couldn't let things slide without saying a word. Resigning to it, Ruby opened the door very slightly, just enough so Penny could hear her talk. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for you to… to walk up and… U-Uh…"

But Penny simply flung the door wide, squatted down and embraced her girlfriend, even having to crane around Winter's leg the way she did. The genuine warmth and affection in the action told Ruby that she wasn't doing it merely for show; she had just missed her that much.

"I love my parents, but I love you, too," she breathed into Ruby's sweat-dampened hair. "So good to be back."

"W-Wha?!" More shocked than anything at first, Ruby looked at Winter with a look of confusion for a moment, until she finally embraced Penny right back, locking her arms around Penny's shoulders. Although about to grasp her, she held back with one of the hands. Penny would not appreciate that on her back!

"Awww, I missed you, too! I'm just so sorry I couldn't tackle hug you or something! This is… is awkward."

Once Ruby said that, her partner drew back with a slight pinkness in her cheeks. From experience, she knew it was more that Penny was embarrassed than that she was "turned on," of course. "Right. Well, I saw you while I was walking up to the house. Luckily, Taiyang and Qrow didn't notice, so I told them I wanted to get something my suitcase." At last, she spared Winter a bashful glance. "Hello."

"G-good to see you," she murmured, her own face redder than either of the other two.

"Still, I did want to talk to you." Drawing back from their embrace, Ruby looked toward the emerald eyes she adored so much. And then to Winter, as well. The two women she loved, both in the same place. And oddly without a single hitch. How lucky she truly was to have them both, even if it was an awkward circumstance.

"Penny, I'm sorry I’ve been such a sad sack the past few months," she told her, partially explaining for her and Winter's benefit, especially with the next line. "It was my fault for not trying to solve this sooner and letting myself mope. Honestly, I don't know how either of you put up with me sometimes…"

Both of them moved to hug her, but Winter held back when she noticed Penny was doing the same. The latter said, "Sorry, you can go first if you want."

"No, it's… Penny, I'm sorry we haven't spoken properly about this before now." Her eyes flicked toward Ruby and back. "This is an unusual situation, but not unheard of. But clearly we both care very much about Ruby. So… well, it's her decision in the end, but it seems only honest for me to ask you directly, as well. Are you sure you don’t mind? Since you and she had the pre-existing relationship."

"And please don't make a choice solely because of me," Ruby insisted, making sure Penny was looking at her while she said it. Stroking her arm gently, she went on, "Because I want you to be happy, too. I need you to be happy. I don't want you to agree with this but be hating every moment of it."

"But I'm fine." When Ruby only kept looking at her in concern, she sighed and petted her neck. "Okay… I was upset when you first told me you wanted to start going to the club and trying things with other people. But not with you. I… was more frustrated with myself for not being enough for you. For not being wired the way that most people are and not being able to give you everything."

"But you give me everything I need!" She quickly took her hand – and then in addition, took Winter's. She simply made sure Winter's was the hand they'd been doing things with, just so it didn't disturb Penny. "You both do! I don't need sex at the end of the day. It's just… fun! Like going for a walk, or to a convention, it's not a need, it's… almost a hobby! What I need is what you both give me. Love and care, and good times. And that's what I have from you both. And I love you both for it!"

After a moment, Penny smiled and told her in a gentle voice, "I know. I got over that frustration pretty quickly; it was an emotional knee-jerk response. You being happy is a lot more important, and once I realized that you would be, and it wouldn't 'cost' me anything, the rest was pretty easy to process."

"You really don't mind?" Winter asked her, voice steady despite her obvious fear. "One hundred percent sure?"

"Not at all. You have treated Ruby well; even in the story she told me about your argument, I could tell you were very distressed about what she had done and who she had done it in front of. She never said you hit her, or called her a bad person; you were just upset and trying to handle those new feelings. And other than that one incident, she has never had a bad thing to say about you."

"And I kinda blamed myself more, anyway…" Ruby began to sit upright, adjusting her position for ease of movement for Winter. "Anyway… I guess we better head back inside. They'll be wondering where we are."

"Not just yet," Penny said. "Winter, come here a moment."

Bewildered, the taller woman leaned down, taking the moment to right her seat as she did so. It was going to squeeze Ruby a bit, but she was small enough so that she could still easily extract herself. "Yes? Oh!"

"I love you," Penny told her gently as she embraced her. "I have never hated or resented you. What you can do for Ruby is very important because she's important to me. So I don't want you worrying about me; I know you're going to keep treating her well, so I have no reason to be worried, either."

Smiling gratefully, Ruby looked back and forth between both her girlfriends. This was all she could ask for; her two favourite people being okay with one another's company. It would certainly make things easier. Giggling to herself, she suggested, "Maybe one day we can all have a cuddle pile. We’ll need a bigger bed, of course."

"You're welcome to move in with me," Winter told them easily. "Either to all sleep in the same bed, or I could convert my office. But I'm sure you'd rather have your own apartment."

"That would be preferable to me. Not saying we couldn't sleep over at your place." Penny drew back from the hug so she could lay one of her hands on Ruby's shoulder, even as the other remained on Winter's back. "On evenings when you two don't want to have sex, of course; I wouldn't want you worrying about what I'm going to do with myself while you do."

"Well first we'll need to tell dad." Finally getting out from the small space, Ruby took the blanket to finally clean her hand, passing it over to Winter for her to do the same once Penny had let go. "He'll probably be all weepy that his kids have finally left, but he'll help us move."

"Very true." Then Penny beamed at her, cheeks bunching. "Ohh, I'm so happy - you look so much more like yourself than you have the past months!"

Penny threw both arms around her and went in for a big, affectionate kiss. She kissed back gratefully, allowing a moment to open her mouth a little wider to kiss deeper. "MMM!" She suddenly pulled back before Penny went too far, laughing nervously. "That… uh… that’s not a good idea right now. W-we just…"

But the ginger was already smacking her lips in vague confusion. "Oh… right, now I remember what you were doing before I knocked. Well… I guess that's my fault for forgetting, isn't it?" Her cheeks were getting rosier, but her smile was no less satisfied at their circumstances. "Um… I hope she doesn't mind."

"Me?" Winter asked, smiling herself now. Even though it was odd knowing her essence was on this more-or-less stranger’s tongue now, it wasn’t exactly the first time that had happened. "No, not at all! Why should I mind? I just- well, if you're asexual, I didn't… that wouldn't have been something I wanted to happen. But if you're not upset about it, why should I be?"

"You don't taste that different from Ruby, really. No need to be worried." Then she turned back to Ruby and made an even bigger show of kissing her right on the mouth. "It's who I'm kissing that's important, not where their mouth has been. Unless it’s on someone who has been sick, because I don’t want to catch their germs."

Blushing rather deeply, Ruby smiled back at Penny bashfully. She always was able to leave her a giddy mess, even if it was through flattery.

But worried that they really would be missed if they stayed any longer, she finally made an effort to unfold herself from the car, soon followed by Winter. Penny and Ruby headed inside first to avoid suspicion. At least this way, she had the excuse that she was waiting for her when she left to go to the bathroom. Then a few minutes later came Winter, who had “just finished her business”. Yang slid Penny her diet-specific food, along with a few sandwiches and snacks for Ruby and Winter before Qrow and Taiyang could stuff their faces.

"Goodness, Winter, that took forever," Weiss observed from where she was showing one of the women from Fènleng's daycare a photo album. "Business or pleasure?"

"A little of both," she hedged. "How's the party going? Did you get everything you wanted?"

"I did! Thank you for the music box, I didn't know they sold them with any of my songs."

At that, Winter had to smile. "They don't; it was a custom job." God bless Etsy. When Weiss broke away from the other woman to give her a hug, she laughed and hugged back. "Happy birthday."

Smiling contentedly at them, Ruby mostly stood by Penny or hung back by herself, with the main people she knew all busy talking to other party guests. Still, it was the happiest she had felt in months. As she watched her lovers spending time with friends and family, she relaxed back against the wall with her punch. Everything was copacetic.

Until a hand landed on her shoulder. "Hey there, Red."

Nearly jumping out of her skin, Ruby looked straight around to the source. "U-uncle Qrow! Sorry, I forgot you were coming!"

Her uncle laughed confidently, lowering his hand as he stood to one side of her, also leaning back against the wall. "Yeah, Yang sorta insisted. And I kinda needed the day out. It's nice to see the inside of somewhere other than the same old same-old."

"Yeah. I can imagine…" Unable to help it, Ruby was already growing nervous again. She hadn't even discussed anything with Qrow since finding out his living situation – and more. She was too afraid to in case it made things awkward, and lead to awkward questions. But that wasn't helping here at all when she realised she had nothing to say.

But Qrow beat her to it. "So, you and Snowbird sorted things out yet?" When Ruby blinked up in surprise at him, Qrow cut her off before she could speak. "Yeah, I know. Not only did she talk about it, but I saw a beady li’l eye watch me head to my room. You've never been the sneakiest of kids, Ruby."

"Great," the redhead muttered in embarrassment. While looking down at the floor instead however, she did add, "But yes… we talked it out. A-and… it went really well. Everything’s cool."

"Good to hear." Taking a sip of his drink, he sighed easily. Never was one to have ruffled feathers. "Maybe this means she'll be less gloomy. I mean, I tried to cheer her up, but there was only so much I could do."

"Please don't tell me how." Closing her eyes tightly, she tried to push the mental image of her other girlfriend with her uncle back out of her mind. Nobody needed that in their life. "I-I know it was selfish of me… to get mad over such a dumb reason. I think it's because you're more or less a second dad to me."

"You got that right," he laughed. "But, yeah, I wouldn't wanna imagine my pa doing anything with my girl, either. And I guess that's what first came to mind for ya." Though after a while, he cleared his throat, looking with a contented smile toward her. "I really am happy for you both, though. Winter's a special gal, anyone could tell you that. And I can't think of a better match for her than you."

"Qrow…" Against her will, she could feel her eyes beginning to well up. She had expected the conversation to be awkward with him, especially since he clearly enjoyed Winter's company as well. Managing to hold them back, she nodded. "Thank you… I just hope I can do right by her and Penny. Gonna be interesting figuring it all out."

"Kid, you get two birthdays and two Christmas presents now. But I guess that goes both ways." Giving a small pat on her shoulder, he smirked. "Say bye bye to your money."

"Ah, but Ruby is my sub," Winter muttered as she snuck up behind them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Typically, I'll be buying her the gifts. And Qrow has seen the one you gave me hanging up in my 'special' closet."

"The one I-" Although immediately her eyes opened wide when she realised what that was, Qrow could only laugh at her reaction. “You put that on your wall?! But it was just a doodle!”

He mussed her hair slightly. "Don't look so shocked! When I first saw it, I thought she had it done by a professional. Had no idea it was you, squirt!"

Smiling gently, Winter leaned a little closer to Ruby, but still spoke in a tone they could both hear. "All teasing aside, it’s one of my favourite things. You’re really talented and I hope you keep it up."

Then, so quickly that none of the other guests would spot it, she left a tiny kiss behind Ruby's ear. But of course one did, and rolled his eyes. "God, you two, get a room. I'm gonna hang out with Tai and Jacques, see how they're getting along. Grumpy Old Men sequel over there. Take it easy."

And finally he left them on their own. Probably for the best, seeing as the smaller sub's cheeks were glowing red with their typical embarrassment. A side effect of all the affection she would have to get used to. The moment Qrow was well out of earshot, along with the rest of the party, Winter changed the subject.

"You're mine again. We'll have to think of some new fun things to do with you. How about… next time I take you for a walk at the Clamp, we see about slipping a pair of vibrating panties under your suit? Wouldn't that be fun?"

The blush only intensified even more at that idea. The walk alone was enough to do that! "Maybe…" She swallowed nervously. "It'd certainly be… interesting."

"Maybe we'll both wear a pair." Another furtive glance, and she ghosted a hand over Ruby's hind end. "The car was a preview of… coming attractions. There's a lot more in your future."

And with even more of a red blush, Ruby was beginning to sink further and further down the wall in embarrassment. She would be quite a sight for the rest of the evening, but didn't wish for anything else.

"I hope I can get used to this again…"

"Get used to what?" Penny asked as she walked up to them, sliding her hands around Ruby's waist and kissing her gently on the cheek. The action pushed Ruby's behind into Winter's hand again, which squeezed it very slightly.

Lady couldn't wish for anything more under the stars than surviving the embrace and love of her two favourite women. But clearly, history had proven she wasn't afraid to try.

                = End =

                = Stay Tuned for White Noise: Sister Midnight =

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 2

Here’s Episode 1

Okay, before I get started with the episode, thank you so much for your likes and kind words and explanations. Thanks @averageace​ for letting me know that ghosts aren't necessarily dead. And thanks @ pretty-much-obsessed for letting me know it's not xianxia but wuxia. K, no cultivators. Got it!

Oh, just for future reference: I love when you guys help me out in the comments with understanding stuff like this! As long as you don’t spoil the story, I'm super grateful for all the genre info and cultural insights <3

Anyway, here we go!

Episode 2:

Oooooh, it was smirky guy who stopped the whip. And everybody is watching. How embarrassing.

I kinda like purple girl. She's so feisty and sassy.

Ok, the kid wants to make friends with alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy. He's in town to buy pastries for his mom, that's so cute. I need a shorter name for alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy. Anyway, the kid gives him a bookmark like a key to where he lives. Alright.

So smirky guy really did recognize the fighting. Oh, Four Seasons Manor is a sect! Ok, ok. And that's their fighting style. Was smirky guy once a part of them? Still so mysterious.

The kids are singing about the 5 lakes. That seems to be important somehow.

K, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy wants to hitch a boat ride. And the old man looks like the old guy who got the 7 nails last time, but he's probably not, i'm just bad with faces again.

Yooo, does alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy have so much silver? Yeah, I wouldn't trust him either, old man. Oh, smirky guy intervenes. And now the old boatman wants to do the ride.

Whoaaa, nice scenery with the water and the blossoms and the music. I wanna go there.

So, now he's at mirror lake manor. Was that the kid's place? I forgot.

Wow, that boatman is really something, shouting out his insults as alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy is simply standing on the dock. Can't he be a bit nicer? LOOOOOL, yeah, so now he really dashed without paying, that's what you get for being rude.

But shame on tragic hero lord guy.You should always pay your debts. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Whoaaaaa, the blossom trees. I'm in love. Tragic hero lord guy flies over them in slo-mo.

And when it's not snowing, it's raining petals. Why is there a boat on dry land? Is that gonna be important?

Ooooh, fan fight! Must be smirky guy. Yusss! And now they're dancing.

Oh, and now smirky guy is being poetic. Dude, you sound like you’re crushing on him hard, man. Alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy isn't having any of it, lol.

There's two guys talking about war in the next scene. One of them is the dad and the other a son. Is that our kid from before? He seems older. I hate being bad with faces. Oh, he's not the kid. He's his older brother. And apparently there's one more brother even. I'm gonna get them all confused so much. Ugh

Tragic hero lord guy gets to stay in a woodshed. And likes it. I mean... whatever makes him happy, I guess.

Ooooh, back at the palace, I remember the helmets of the soldiers. And there's the guy who took tragic hero lord guy's job and... the other, like... boss guy. Maybe a king or an emperor. New at the job guy talks about... stuff. He's killed people. And seems proud of it. And now he's talking about a children's song. Oh wait, is that the song that alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy noticed earlier on? Oh, the song is connected to the glazed armor. Got it.

Ooooh, they sent a spy after tragic hero lord guy. So that's why he went into hiding.

Back in the woodshed, either the alcohol was bad, or tragic hero lord guy is having issues with the nails thing. His veins are moving and it looks disgusting tbh. And he's kinda... fuming. Literally. Looks like he's got a bad smell. And now he's... trying to meditate the smell away?

Oh, there's a fire outside.

Why?

Oh no, it's the red guys with the masks again. They're killing people.

Ooooh, tragic hero lord guy jumps into the fight, alright. OMG, I LOVE THAT TREE IN THE BACKGROUND!!! It's so pretty.

I want it.

Somebody is trying to sneak a kid out. Possibly our kid. Not sure. And the red guys are following them. Hmm.

Oh, a bird. Tragic hero lord guy calls it a sparrow and a spy from the window of heaven, which... okay, but it's definitely NOT a sparrow. Maybe it's just a not so good translation.

Aww man, and now my tree's on fire! :(((( Why can I never have nice things? :(

Now it's raining yellow paper thingies. They kinda look like those smiley potato chips thingies that you can get in the freezer section at the supermarket.

Oh, they're weapons from the red guys. And the guy who's trying to sneak the kid out... is that the boatman?

Oooh, tragic hero lord guy jumps in. If that WAS the boatman, then he's getting paid alright. Heh.

Ok, wth? Swords are not supposed to be that bendy. That does not look like a good sword. How are you gonna stab anybody with a wobbly, shaky weapon like that?

And smirky guy is sitting on the window sill watching the situation unfold like a supermodel waiting to be called onto the runway. Instead of... like... HELPING?! Wth?

And he's an alcoholic too? Hmm

K, that was a short stay, they're back on the boat

Eww, the red guys cut of somebody's arm. Wait, is that the dad from before? And the others are... the kid's brothers? Maybe? Oh, whoever they are, they're supposed to have the glazed armor, and the red masked guys want it. And they're gonna kill them all? That's brutal, man.

But if they ARE the kid’s brothers and they’re about to die, then at least I won’t get them confused, so there’s a plus side.

Anway, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy, the boatman and the kid are in some dusty place. And the boatman is savage as fuck. He wants his money, lol. I like him.

Oh no, so much information. I'm so bad at this. So the kid is supposed to hide at 5 lakes, but doesn't want to. And somebody saved somebody, I have no idea. I wanna know if alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy is gonna go meditate again, because it looks like he wants to.

And now the potato smileys are flying in again. Great. I'm never gonna unsee the potato thing now.

Anyway, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy who seriously NEEDS A NAME(!!!) is getting smelly again. And the kid wants to defend them all and instantly drops the sword. That does not look good.

So many red masked guys.

LOL, alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy needs 15 minutes. To smell better, maybe.

Wow, the old boatman is a good fighter, but he stands no chance. Are he and the kid really the ones supposed to fight, while tragic hero guy is being smelly and smirky guy is still chilling who knows where?

See the stinky fumes?

Whoa the kid is willing to sacrifice himself for alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy. Who is just as surprised as me. And if it weren't for somebody intervening, they'd both be dead. Who is it?

Yooooooooo, purple girl coming in to the rescue. Of course. Need a job well done, leave it to the woman.

Wow, she's so badass. And the kid and the boatman are helping too. Alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy went back to meditating.

:O There were two nuts!!! I saw them!!! Is nuts guy one of the red masked guys?

Oh, NOW alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy is starting to fight. Probably smelled the nuts and got into it.

LOL, wth? Now that he's done fighting, he faints? And THAT's when smirky guy shows up? To catch him? And alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy wakes up again instantly to fight.

Lololol, wth? Smirky guy is like "Heh, you cute, let me wrap your sword around us." ;)

Maybe the wobbly bendy sword is a flirting technique and actually does serve a purpose.

He has really long fingers too.

Just saying.

Aww, would have been a cute moment if the boatman weren't deadly hit. And now he's smelly too. Wait, do smelly fumes mean doomed to die?

Ohh, he's gonna make him adopt the kid, isn't he?

Alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy drops a name, and says he's Zhou Xu. Is that his real name? Feels like smirky guy would probably recognize him if he gave his real name. But also maybe not. I know nothing. And smirky guy is mysterious as fuck. But I’ll take the name,because it’s shorter than the one I gave him.

Boatman is still a bit rude, threatening to curse Zhou Xu’s ancestors if he doesn't take care of the kid. Aren't they cursed already? Anyway, boatman can't know that.

Ok, old boatman has died and the kid is adopted. Cool, cool.

Oh, some fighter guys in nicely pleated skirts... who are they? Are they the guards of the manor? Are they there to help the kid? Whoever they are, they came too late and they set off fireworks.

Ok, smirky guy introduces himself. Wen Ke Xing. Oh boy, I hope I can remember that name.

Why is the kid dizzy? Did he get hurt?

Now they're discussing about the bread and nobody's willing to eat first while the kid is empty handed and very clearly hungry as hell. I feel so bad for him.

Why does smirky guy come across so snobby? I wanna like him.

Wow, they finally give the kid some food and now HE's refusing to eat it as well.

Purple girl is the only person actually getting fed tonight.

I mean, she deserves it. She fought the hardest.

Oooooh, smirky Wen Ke Xing guy is onto Zhou Xu lord guy. First stares him up and down while he's resting (lusting much?) and then flat out asks if he's in disguise.

Oh and the kid IS hurt. And smirky Ke Xing is the only one to realize too. He's redeeming himself. A little.

Zhou Xu lord guy doesn't want him to touch the kid though. Why?

Oooh, they're dancing again.

LOL, purple girl gets it. I saw that smile. I bet she's a shipper. What is the ship name? KeXu? ZhouXing? I literally had to scroll up and reread the names. We should just call them smirklord.

Okay, end of episode.

What did I learn? Names were dropped.  Zhou Xu lord guy has adopted the kid. Smirky guy is called Wen Ke Xing. He comes across a bit shady and pretentious and also flirty. Very flirty. But Purple girl is cool, and she trusts him so he must be kinda cool too. Still don't know who they really are and what they want. Like any of them. So far, I like the kid and purple girl best. I hope they all travel together to bring the kid to... wherever he's supposed to go.

Goals for future episodes: Find out who nut guy is. Learn the freaking names reliably. Find out people's connections to each other.

[nalgenewhore]

A rogue storm had her presumed dead and stranded on the red planet. Left on her own, astronaut Aelin Galathynius has four years to make it to the next drop-site, some two thousand miles. Armed with her smarts and dwindling supplies, Aelin attempts to survive on an inhospitable planet, when the nearest help is only millions of miles away.

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Aelin carefully filled a container of water and walked it to her garden, pouring it over the crops and repeating the process until each little plant had been watered.

A camera had been set up in her garden so she spoke to it, still speaking as though TNSB couldn’t hear her or see her every move. “Now that everyone can talk to me, they never want to shut up.” She kissed the leaf of the smallest plant, smiling down at it and whispering a soft word of encouragement.

“They’ve even got a whole team micromanaging my crops. Which is just great,” she added sarcastically. Aelin and the botany team were not on the best of terms. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant,” she spread her arms, as if to say look at all of this, “but I am the best botanist on this planet.”

Aelin put the container down and dusted her hands, “In other news, they want me to pose for a picture. I’m debating between ‘High School Prom’,”’ she posed with her hands elbows bent and hands clasped over her stomach, “or ‘Happy College Student On A Pamphlet’,” she hooked her thumbs through imaginary backpack straps, pasting on a gloriously fake grin. “I’m not sure how it’ll all convey with my spacesuit on, but we’ll figure it out.”

Aelin laughed to herself and walked out to the kitchen area, now addressing the camera by the microwave, “Another cool thing about this communication business: email! I get a big data dump, like when I was on The Lani and stuff. Athletes, academics, musicians and even the prime minister too. But the coolest, the single coolest email I got was from my alma mater, the University of Orynth. They tell me that once you’ve grown crops somewhere, you’ve officially ‘colonized’ it.” A cocky grin overtook her features, “So I colonized Farnor. Suck it, TNSB botany team,” she stuck her tongue out before fetching her suit to take her photo.

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

Asterin was in stitches as she looked at the picture Aelin had sent. The golden-haired astronaut was mid-jump, her legs bent and her arms stretched up to the sky and she could make out the huge grin splitting the woman’s face. “Oh, this is so like her,” she murmured, tracing an iron nail over the photo. “This – I can use.”

“Good,” Weylan said, already on to the next topic. He addressed Sartaq and Gavriel on the screen, “Sartaq, is your team still on schedule.”

The man looked beat, a certain bleakness in his eyes, “It’ll be tight, but we’ll make it.”

“Make sure you do.” He tapped the table, “Nine-month flight puts us at day 868. Did we get the Botany Team’s assessment?”

Gavriel nodded, “They estimate her crops will last her until day 900. They resentfully admit Aelin’s doing a remarkable job.”

“Resentfully?” Manon questioned, arching a manicured brow.

“Yes, um, Aelin has a tendency to tell them to go have sex with themselves whenever they disagree with her or question her method. Either that or she tells them she’s the best botanist on Farnor and therefore she doesn’t have to listen to mediocre scientists,” Gavriel told them, a slight wince on his face.

The director of TNSB just shook his head, “Get her in line. We can’t have any miscommunications.” He turned to Manon and Asterin, who were both badly hiding their amused grins. “Food gets there at 868, hers lasts until 900…I hate this margin.”

“And that’s assuming nothing goes wrong,” commented Manon, ever-so helpfully.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Aelin grabbed her toolkit and wedged it under her arm as she walked to the airlock, going out to do some late-night modifications on the rover.

Something was niggling in the back of her mind, but she paid it no heed, just wanting to do her work and sleep like the dead after whatever meager dinner she could scrounge up. She was running out of ketchup and she dreaded the day that she was forced to eat plain cooked potatoes.

A yawn grew in her and her eyes watered, gods above, she just wanted to sleep.

When one was stranded on a desolate, slumber was a fickle thing. Aelin’s eyes grew heavy as she pulled the airlock handle down.

All she heard was a ripping sound going along the canvas of the airlock before she was airborne, an explosion catapulting her and the tunnel far far away.

A strangled, panicked cry escaped her as she was battered and flung around the airlock as it flew through the air and crashed, her helmet crashing into something and she heard a cracking sound, closing her eyes on instinct.

The canvas tube rolled too many times for her to count until eventually it stopped and Aelin sat up, alarms blaring in her helmet.

It was cracked.

Fuck, it was cracked, a little hole where the polycarbonate-plexiglass had been chipped free. The beeping didn’t stop and Aelin fought to keep her breathing under control as she scrambled to her feet and wrenched the duct tape free, ripping off a length and taping it across the longest crack and then another across it.

Her toolkit had spilled everywhere and she grabbed a sharp screwdriver, stabbed it into the fabric of the airlock and yanked it down, creating a big enough rip for her to stumble out of.

Aelin could hardly see past the duct tape and she spun around, desperately looking for the hab and then sprinting, tripping countless times in her mad dash.

She stepped foot in and saw… her crops, destroyed beyond recognition.

Her lifeline was destroyed and Aelin gasped, her throat tight as she staggered out. She couldn’t stay here tonight and no good would come if she attempted to fix anything now.

Making her way to the rover, tears dripped down her cheeks until violent sobs were ripping from her throat and chest. She stumbled over a pile of rocks and fell to her knees, her gloves digging into the red dirt. There was no other answer; Aelin was going to die here alone.

A scream tore from her and soon enough, she was cursing the gods, “Where are you?! Why do you fail me time and time again?!” Her throat was raw and on fire. Her voice cracked, “Somebody save me.”

But no one answered her calls, not as she stayed there, kneeling in the sand, the reality of everything crashing down on her. There was no hope left, no bright and beautiful feeling.

The gods had never been there for her. Never.

Not when her parents died in that car wreck, not when she had to protect little Elide when she herself needed protecting, not when they made her fall for a heartless and cruel bastard, who carried a chip on his shoulder, going through life thinking no one had it as hard as he did.

It was stupid and childish to think they would save her now.

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

The mood in Mission Control was somber, nobody daring to speak as Nox read off the message Aelin had sent. “…crops are dead. Complete loss of pressure sterilized the soil and boiled off whatever was left in the water reclaimer…”

The only upside was that Aelin had managed to store away buckets of water and didn’t have to worry about that. “How long does she have,” Asterin asked.

“Well, she can still eat the potatoes she has. We estimate about two-hundred days.”

“Rations get her to what? Day four-ten?”

“Yes, so with potatoes, she can stretch to six-ten.”

“Prelim calculations call for a four-hundred-day round trip.”

 “By day 868 she’ll be long dead,” said Manon, her face emotionless. Her eyes narrowed and she sucked on her teeth, “It’s day one-thirty-five right now, we need thirteen to mount the boosters and do inspections… which give RPL forty-seven days to make the probe. Darkness above, gods damn it.”

“How long does it usually take?”

Gavriel answered Nox, his voice defeated, “Six months.”

Weylan spoke to Gavriel, already standing and doing his suit jacket up, “I’ll let you tell Sartaq and his team.”

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

Fenrys was sitting in front of The Lani’s communications computer, typing an email to Aelin. TNSB had finally given them the ok to speak with her and only Fenrys had been up to the task.

Dearest G-Money, he wrote, laughing quietly to himself, Apparently, TNSB deemed it appropriate for us to talk to you and I drew the short straw. Sorry we left you on Farnor, we don’t like you very much and we were all tired of you hogging shower times. The downside is we have to rotate through your tasks, but it’s only dirt (not real science). How’s Farnor?

 +*+*+*+*+*+*

Aelin was crying as she read Fenrys’ email. Oh, how she missed them, so terribly. The day had been a long one, one where it seemed she couldn’t stop the tears even as she fixed the mess that had been made.

She didn’t think she’d ever been as heartbroken as when she was clearing out her ruined garden and dumping the dead plants outside. After she spent a few minutes mourning all her work, thinking to herself that the botany team would be thrilled she had finally failed, she got busy – covering the hole made in the hab by taping over a plastic tarp she would no longer need now that the greenhouse was useless.

The wind was making it flutter and flap, but it would hold as she replied to her friend.

My most beloved Fenny,

Farnor is fine. How’s The Lani? Cramped, with those two broody men? I accidentally blew up the hab, but fortunately, all your movies were spared which means tonight I’m going to eat plain potatoes and watch Mulan.

Everyday I go outside and look at the vast horizon, just because I can and guess what, I officially colonized Farnor.

I hope the girls are going easy on you poor boys, I know they can be rather ruthless when it comes to board and card games.

Say hello to the others and tell Lorcan that I’m gonna beat his ass if he’s still blaming himself.

After a few minutes, she read his typed reply, just two words, Will do.

Aelin did indeed watch Mulan as she ate her dinner and then, she got up, licking her plate clean and walking it to the sink before she sat down in front of her laptop once more, opening the video journal.

She wished so badly that she could be doing anything other than this, but enough was enough. She wasn’t a child and could no longer put this off. She owed it to herself and to her crew.

“Manon, it’s currently day one-thirty-six, around nine PM. I have a favour to ask of you, and I’m sending these to you, only you, because you’re the only one who will understand. Thank you for everything you did and thank you-“ her voice broke, “thank you for being my friend.”

Aelin took a second, her eyes shut as tears slipped past her lashes, “I want you to send these to the crew in case I don’t make it, ok?”

It took a lot to decide to send these, but Aelin pushed through, addressing the first one to Nesryn.

“Faliq… thank you for being you. Every day spent with you is one I cherish, because I love you so much. Thank you for getting me hooked on The Anatolia Story; it’s addictive. I’ve read fourteen out of twenty-eight volumes and I can’t wait to finish it, but I’m trying to ration them. I won’t forgive you for liking Twilight. Take good care of my goddaughter and your wife. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you guys. Every day I miss you.”

The rest of the letters went the same way, with her saying her last goodbye to her family. Every word had her throat growing tighter and tighter, until only Elide and Rowan were left. She didn’t know what to say to him, how to tell him she loved him so when she would be dead too soon.

Hot tears were streaming down her face and she looked crazy as she spoke to Elide.

“Ellie-Boo. I-“ she sobbed once and covered her mouth, “I love you so so much. To infinity and beyond,” referencing the movie that had their obsession with outer-space beginning, Toy Story. “There’s too much to say to you. You’re my person, baby girl. Without you, I would’ve probably wound up in a ditch somewhere. I want you to have the biggest wedding and a dress with enough sequins so that I can see it in the Afterworld. You are not allowed to be sad, no tears, Elide. I mean it. My funeral better be so much better than the one TNSB had – boooring!” Aelin smiled cheekily and then grew serious, the redness from her crying making the turquoise of her eyes pop. “Be happy, my darling sister. Because guess what, you and me? More than anything, we deserve to know happiness and you’re going to have to take my happy too. I love you, to infinity and beyond.” She pressed a kiss to her fingertips and touched the screen.

The letter she dreaded having to dictate was staring her in the face and Aelin stood up, walking around in circles as she attempted to order her thoughts. Eventually, she sat down, “…Rowan. I… there’s a lot to say, but I won’t ever be able to stop crying if I say everything. Basically, I love you. I don’t know how or when or even why, but I do. I’m completely in love with you, buzzard. And I wish I hadn’t been such a coward to keep it all to myself all this time. I wish that we could’ve been together and in the next life, I will find you and I will not be scared of it, ok? I will find you again and I will not be afraid.” 

She couldn’t say another thing and ended the video, sitting and staring at the wall until she finally fell asleep.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: that wasn’t a very nice chapter huh....anyhoo! comment/send me an ask to be added or removed from the tag list! thank you for reading darlings 

@mythicaitt @kandasboi @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @westofmoon @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @city-of-fae @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ @that-other-pineapple​ @sleeping-and-books​ @superspiritfestival​ @faerie-queen-fireheart​ @chemicha​ @rowaelin-cressworth​ @mynewdreamwasyou​ @candid-confetti​ @bat-wing-rhys​ @the-reading-obsessed-stitchbear​ @feyrethedarklady​ @booklover41802​ @rowaelinforeverworld​ @jamesxdaisy​ @julemmaes​ @hellas-himself​ 

[9uk]

The Stranger I Met On The Bus

⌲ summary : Your life became a mess of colours the day you decided to leave the luxurious comfort of your home and board the same bus a wandering Namjoon was on.

⌲ pairing : namjoon x reader

⌲ word count : 12.6k

⌲ genre:  slow burn......fluff, angst, smut, strangers2lovers...? or not. unrequited love but fate does it thing ye

⌲ warnings : rough times man, sexual scenes

a/n: it’s super messy & horrible i know...but i’ve been dying to get this out and i’ve been feeling all sorts of things as of late :’

“Is there something you need?” He starts, after having mulled over the reason behind your incessant gawking for long.  

You blinked.

Something you need? Was there something you need? Why was he suddenly questioning you?

How are you going to tell him that he looks so much like somebody you used to know?

The both of you stayed right there, staring at each other with an equal amount of confusion.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him the first time you saw him. It was a brief, yet impactful eye contact shared. The split second his eyes locked with your own had your insides whirring like a washing machine. He looked around your age, perhaps a little older. Obvious dimples and agonisingly familiar mono lids. Something about the way he left your orbs as fast as they landed on them made you feel like something was going on.

It was too quick.

Too fast till it exposed his scheme. The guy had been watching you the whole time, and you had successfully caught him red-handed. Or maybe you were seeing things. Feeling things. Things you could not decipher what were.

Coincidence is a strange occurrence not many have in their lives. Some call it fate, but really you’d like to believe it as just pure luck. It’s baffling how a mere stranger could be the reason behind your insides shimmering with excitement again.

The bus station was bustling with business men rushing off to their destinations, families making their way back home, or even, wandering souls who have lost their sense of direction in life, travelling far away from their abodes to seek comfort in the beauty of escaping. Take you, for example. To sum it up, you were running away from some family matters back at home. Ones that require way more energy and attention than you can handle.

You were just in line to collect your ticket for the entire bus journey. Quite a long and drawn-out ride, you would say. You silently thanked your brain for the abrupt cue to bring your book along just as you stepped out of the house. 11 hours. What on earth were you going to do spending half a day coped up in a long, empty carriage?

“Nothing,” Your lips finally discovered the courage to open up and let a word out. The exchange of weirded out, perplexed faces of expression resumed.

He raises his brows slightly, expecting you to provide the actual cause as a continuation.

It was a millisecond away from him turning his head back into his own business. But a millisecond seems a tad too long for your short fused patience on a Friday morning.

“What? I said nothing.” The last word is shot like a poison dart to the neck—attack acting as the best shield—and the stranger is utterly surprised by the switch in attitude.

He gets the red-light, diverting eyes to the front in an instant and pressing his lips into a firm line. Your feistiness cooled down and regret immediately settled in as your tone replays in your head.

You absolutely hated repeating yourself and towards the man who resembled him too much, you lost all the rationality you contained. It probably looked like you were a temperamental piece of shit who obviously had some serious anger issues, making it tough to convince him otherwise. You want to apologise straight away, you really do. But you find yourself tongue-tied wondering if you should say it with the pronoun or not. By the time you’ve arrived to a decision, it was too late. Apologising a few minutes after the outburst of questionable annoyance would just seem...weird.

Like you have been thinking about him all this while.

Which isn’t true, at all.

A tiny seed of ego sprouted until you were crossing your arms in fumes, mainly irritated at your own cranky behaviour.

You swore to the heavens that you were much nicer than the nasty impression you left on him.

It was just, a slip of the tongue. At an absurdly wrong timing.

Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him those two words that could clear your name.

Two hours of terrible attempts at falling asleep. The interaction with the handsome lad troubling the entrance of your dreams. The initial road is a bumpy one, the movements of the vehicle not coordinating with your pulse. One hundred and twenty minutes of stressing over the stranger of familiarity just inches away from you. He smelled like Seven thousand and two hundred seconds of—

“Excuse me, I want to get off.”

The lids you have been trying to press shut to let the unconsciousness close in on you flew open. Back jerking straight up, you realise you were in his way of leaving his seat.

The bus was almost empty, randomly splattered with a few passengers who did not need anything outside of this carriage. Vision a blur, you can only make out a big bright red panel that signified a gas station. He is a man patient enough to let you settle out of your trance before making space for his exit.

“Sorry.”

You snatch your purse and decided to get out of the bus as well.

From behind, a giant figure looms over yours and a sense of smallness washes over you.

Was your seat buddy always this tall?

You never noticed.

The mart at this particular gas station sucks. Out of 10, it barely even made pass 4.

You scanned the rows of snacks once more, as if doing just that would bring your cheese rings into existence. Forget about cheese rings, there weren’t even cheese balls available! The staple of snacks, king of crunches—to you, at the very least.

Shoving your hands into the pockets of your hoodie, you sighed in exasperation.

It is then you are suddenly reminded of the encounter with the guy sitting beside you.

It was time you got rid of the perpetual habit of yours to unleash your annoyance on anyone or anything.

After carefully reviewing every item under the snacks section, you ended up furrowing your brows at a bag of sour cream and onion chips. The grumble rolling off your stomach forces you to grab it off the shelf.  

The kiosk is filled with people who were in the same bus as you, but yet you find yourself searching for a specific someone. You remember paying him no mind when you made a beeline for the mart, not wanting to waste anymore time from this precious brief stopover. For the familiar face that you still cannot put together the similarities. The uncanny resemblance in both their heights. It’s a funny thing because you always have a thing for guys around 6 feet tall.

The aluminium crinkles in your grasp as you fail to spot him. And there you are, left wondering about where the tall guy had went.

Placing your sole purchase onto the counter, you glanced over the lollipops decorated in a spiral. You absentmindedly stare at the wide array of bright colours with the beeping sound of your chips being scanned into the register.

Your focus seems to drift away, for you don’t seem to notice the cashier announcing the price of your potato chips.

“I’ll have this too,” Snapping out of the sandcastle building, you fish out a five dollar bill to the poor shop assistant who only just began her shift. “Thanks.”

Stepping outside, a fresh breath of wind whooshes past your face and you never felt this alive. Mainly because you’ve also never been up this early for so long and the morning air really hits different. It’s been forever since you actually witnessed the sun in its early form. It’s been also so long since you’ve had breakfast, and it being a bag of chips is fabulous and says a lot about your eating habits.

Most of the passengers are queuing for the public washroom, some are still lingering in the store heating up a grilled cheese or whatever. And so you drive yourself out of the lane and wander around with the remaining time left.

That would be a lie, truth to be told.

You weren’t just basically wandering around.

You were wandering around in hopes of bumping into that man.

Your legs brought your idling form to the corner of the walls of petrol kiosk.

You were not wholly surprised when you saw exactly what your mind pictured; him standing there leaned back against the white bricks and maybe, a cigarette in hand.

Except there was no tobacco or the cap he was wearing earlier on in sight, just him lowering the cellphone from his ear with dejection written all over his face. Did someone just relay a piece of bad news to him? Or did his girlfriend break up with him over the phone?

You stand there, taking in his gorgeous side profile and the cute tip of his nose you want to kiss. His Adam apple bobs as he swallows and tucks the phone back into the pocket of his navy pants. No one else has the ability to wear an outfit so baggy and casual and look like they belong on the runway. It’s like he knows which style suits him best and puts each piece of clothing to their fullest potential. His exposed brown locks fall over his eyes and your fingers itch to run through them and sweep his hair back.

It is in the middle of your not-so-subtle gawking when his gaze rises and falls onto you.

The expression on his face drops even further if possible, and he stumbles for the right words. The following squint of his eyes tells you that he did not thoroughly enjoy your presence. You roll the ball of the sweet in your palm nervously.

“W-Wha—How long have you been standing there?” The doubt flows out of his mouth and a clear displeasure in his tone.

Shorter than he thinks, definitely. You’ve only just arrived.

“A couple of seconds ago.”

The suspicion of you eavesdropping is not completely wiped off his face despite your answer. The despondency from before has somewhat grown into vexation, and he is ready to leave you alone in this alley.

The tension between the two of you is unbearable, like he has nothing to say to you or even annoyed by your existence while your fingers wrap around the lollipop stick even tighter.

“Hey,” You step in his way, but bodies not touching at all.

Gulping, you raise the candy in front of you.

“I-I wanted to apologise for earlier on,” You ignored the stammering and carried on. “I was being plain rude to you for no reason at all. I was having a bad morning and you just look so much like someone I used to know I-” You’re rambling and he cuts you off deadly.

“Is that all?”

Your breath hitches in your throat and you realise there’s nothing else left to say. God, the lollipop in your hand makes you feel so stupid now. He’s trying to dismiss you as quickly as possible while you wish to become acquaintances with him. You were overthinking it. He is saving the embarrassment for you. This man was driving you crazy. Firstly from how scarily similar he looks to him and second from how you wanted to know everything about him now. The impression he left on you is near perfect—patient, understanding and  an offbeat sadness adorning his features.

And the impression you left on him is a horrible, distasteful one. A kind of impression you would never want anyone to have of yourself, let alone the guy who looked so ravishing and have been nothing but nice towards you.

Why would someone acting blue be any of your business?

Precisely, because it’s this guy who you caught staring at you in the bus interchange and it’s the same guy who you lashed out at and again, the guy who you are currently offering a goddamned lollipop to.

You wanted to know who he was calling and why he looked so sad. You wanted so badly to wrap him in your arms and tell him that everything’s going to be fine. The important question however, remains untouched. Why were you trying to fix somebody when you were so broken yourself? You have been so deprived of proper love and care that you want him. It’s a rash burst of infatuation for that man.

If this is what the hours at the start of the day did to your buzzed head and racing heart, you finally understand why you constantly slept in till the peace of afternoon came.

All in all, you just needed him to accept the apology and move on.

You painfully muster the courage to avert your eyes from pink ball and look up at him.

“Yeah, that is all.”

A lie, because you have so much more to say to him and is in no position to put the thoughts out like that. There was no other way to explain a peculiar connection you one-sidedly felt with him without sounding creepy as hell.

He simply takes your answer as it is and receives the strawberry lollipop from you.

The way his slender fingers brushes over the back of your hand sends a shiver straight to your spine. He was warm and cold, polite yet dismissive. A walking contradiction, truly. A contrast that has you secretly swooning over him even more.

Nonetheless, you were glad he did not shove a rejection in your face.

Of all things that you could have done, you foolishly got yourself into a predicament with him like this.  

Once everyone was comfortably seated, the bus driver hops on and whirs the bulky engine to life once more.

When you returned to your seat, the wrapper had already been ripped off and the lollipop was being savoured in his mouth already. You try to hide the blooming smile on your face.

You were busy plucking the petals of a non-existent flower in your mind, contemplating at maximum whether or not you should strike a conversation with him.

If you did, you played out the different possibilities of responses he could have and how to carry on talking no matter what. It’s been quite some time since you’ve actually tried to talk to a stranger, and it was hard. But the desire to get to know him is diminishing all the worries bubbling inside you. When there’s a will, there’s a way indeed.

Rehearsing your voice in your head, you wait for the perfect timing to start speaking.

He was not doing anything much, still suckling on the ball of sugar and looking out the window.

You can’t help but admire his angelic features for a while. The cosiness of this coach granted the close proximity you had with him, allowing you to be able to catch a whiff of his smell. He didn’t smell like the sharp colognes of business men that flooded office areas, but rather, he had a soft lotion scent that was not too thick for your nose to hurt, yet subtle which has you craving for more.

Topped off with that coldness in his attitude and gentlemanly ways, you really are beginning to develop a tiny crush on him.

Very, tiny.

You have not much time left, it was easy to figure when someone was shamelessly planting their eyes on you.

He had no earpiece on, which was a good sign because you hated it when people tried to interrupt your music. And end up asking something so stupid, like your name.

“I never asked, but what is your name?”

Loud and clear, not wanting any slip-ups. The thread of tension that was initially pulled taut between the two of you seemed to have loosened on your side.

Like mentioned, you’ve actually browsed through all types of replies he could give.

He could have probed about the reason behind you wanting to know, or he could play games with you and not tell you, keeping it as a mystery unsolved so that you wouldn’t stop talking to him about it.

But no, his answer was the most difficult for the continuation of a conversation.

He is deeply distracted by the greenery outside, peeling his line of sight off the window pane and finally directing it to you.

He thinks—for whatever reason in this world you can about your own name—before gently replying.

“Namjoon.”

A blatant response which leaves you with not much options left to venture.

However, it doesn’t stop you from appreciating each syllable of his name. Nam and Joon just goes so well with each other just like how the colour of his cap matches his pants and you are naturally repeating after him, his name leaving your lips in such a blissful way. You are officially going bonkers for this man.

He doesn’t pay any more attention to you, turning to view the scenery that runs past the moving vehicle. The passing trees and blue sky are more interesting to look at than talking to you very apparently.

“That’s a nice name.” You pointed out and he flashes you a faint smile before going back to the window.  

You note that he doesn’t ask for yours and an unexpected feeling of hurt thuds at your chest.

You take it as a telltale sign that Namjoon, is not interested in you like the way you are in him. All practice of the conversation gets deleted and thrown into the trash bin like a child’s silly doodling, and you sink back into your seat, trying to not feel all stupid and crestfallen.

Nothing else is said between the both of you until the next rest stop.

This time, you buy a packet of bread and a hotdog bun because it’s lunch.

He is no longer standing at some secluded corner of this new gas station, just shifting on both feet just outside the doors of this e-mart.

From inside, you spot Namjoon at the same place from before. You tear the package of the ready-made bun and observe him for a moment.

Namjoon had been repetitively trying to call someone. Each time the line reaches nowhere, his jaw clenches even harder and he tongues at his cheeks in a disputable infuriation.

Though, that is all you can see. You have yet to fully understand his actual situation.

The bells jingle as you push through the glass doors to exit.

Again, he removes the phone from his ear and angrily taps on the screen as if that would help his call get through.

“Here,” You offer him the bread. Butter flavoured, nothing too much to be disliked by anyone. You haven’t seen Namjoon eat anything from the start of the journey up till now and you are genuinely concerned about his hunger.

“Oh, no thanks. I’m not hungry.” You know that phrase too well. A statement someone would say even when they in fact are hungry, but the loss of appetite is too overwhelming for the empty stomach. The loss of appetite can be caused by several factors—like one being too bothered about something on their mind.

You retract the bread in hand from him, and fall silent.

“Do you want to use mine?”

You considered for a long moment before raising the suggestion.

The rest stop in the middle of nowhere would destroy reception for some phones, but yours could call from almost anywhere. Well, as the line contract promised.

Namjoon looks up and at last, a glint of care swirling in his orbs.

You wonder who he is trying to dial.

“Really?” It’s like he cannot believe the small offer you made, different from the other times you buy him food. You guess Namjoon really did not have a thing for food at gas stations.

“Yeah,” You click your phone to the dialling page.

“Mine should be able to get through.”

He swipes the device off your hand faster than light, not caring about the desperation he is displaying.

“Thanks.” He mumbles as he hastily keys in whoever’s number that was. It is soft, but it could still be heard.

The call seems to really manage to get through and he mouths an ‘excuse me’ before striding off to somewhere more private for the conversation to happen.

Munching away at your hotdog bun, you watch him grow frustrated as the call goes on, Namjoon crossly gesturing with his hands to try to get his point across and the locking of his jaw every time he spat out a word. Then, his eyebrows are knitted in fury, like he had just met with news of anguish. He stomps around, sometimes even yelling into your phone and at some point in time, you were afraid that he would smash your phone into pieces. The vein at his neck visibly pops and you could tell how many emotions he was trying so hard to contain. Emotions like anger, disappointment, confusion—all at once, bombarding poor Namjoon.

The person on the other end likely ended the call, for Namjoon stares ahead at a red stationary motorcycle with emptiness crowding his eyes. His lips were no longer aggressively moving to negotiate whatever that was, his hand turned motionless as well—and the phone lowers, just like the previous times. This time though, with a knowing answer and clarity clouding his glistening eyes.

His hands were tightly balled into fists and your phone almost gets crushed. Even from afar, you can see the rapid rise and falls of his chest and the grief stinging his eyes. You skipped through the hesitation and made your way over to the bull.

“Hey are you alright—”

“Thanks for the call.”

He is quick to shut you off, slamming the device onto your palm and strolls away to probably hide his moment of sorrow.

Namjoon looked more upset than anything you’d imagine. And it broke your heart to see him this unhappy.

“Namjoon!” You yelled after him.

Tracing his footsteps, his back faces you.

You can’t explain the need surging throughout you to just step forward and smooth your hand over the broad expanse of his back, the itch to calm him down and ask what was wrong. But you weren’t really in a position to do so.

The clock ticks a whole silent round before he slowly turns around with a long exhale.

The sight of his tear-stained cheeks and red eyes wrenches hard at your heart.

Strangers had boundaries, and you yearned to cross them with Namjoon.

“Do you…want a hug?” There was much nothing left on your plate that you could offer.

Awkwardly natural, the distance between your two bodies closes.

Everything afterwards happened in a blink; his head sinking heavily onto the blade of your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your body and your face smashing into his well-built chest.

Heaven, that’s the best description you can make of burying yourself into Namjoon arms.

You were supposed to hug him, and not the other way around.

He takes a deep breath, tightening his hold on you and his nose digging into your hair, making you fight back a shiver as you carefully rest your hands on his lower back. The smell of his lotion grows even stronger when you are this close to him, and you wished you could stay like this with him forever.  

His breathing was still hard and you could feel his heart frantically hammering onto yours, as if having suffered a major attack.

The hug was quiet but comfortable. Everything with Namjoon felt comfortable if you even make sense.

“I needed this.” He mumbles into your skin, pulling away seconds after, causing you to cling onto every last bit of him.

The two of you returned to the bus straight away, with no words exchanged.

However, you can feel Namjoon beginning to open up to you.

Still, you’d like to take your time to understand him.

Feelings settled and heart at ease, the subject of the call and his breakdown was never broached again.

He was, as usual, peering at the outer layer of the woods along the road. Namjoon observes them with a concentration not to be disregarded.

It almost feels like he was scripting every line and carve on their barks, counting the number of leaves on each branch and watching how mighty they stood tall—which was technically impossible, but with Namjoon, one would never know.

“Ah, by the way,” You try to casually start a conversation, but at the same time you feel bad for interrupting his tree-watching session. “Where are you headed to?”

“Uh,” He hesitates, the area between his eyes scrunching up. “I… actually have no idea.”

He knew where he was going. But it looks like plans got ruined midway.

Was it because of the phone call? You promised yourself not to poke that matter. Not now.

“Huh. Same here. Probably the last stop or something.” You shrugged, nonchalant.

This huge bus was driving from the city to various locations—from small towns to farms and other districts basically.

You didn’t have a place in mind; you just needed to get out of that hellhole.

He widens his eyes at you because it is not all the time you randomly find someone as lost as you are.

Namjoon really has nowhere to go now. The most he could do would be to buy another trip back into the city—but that was the option he’d leave for last. Other than the mortifying decision to backpedal into your old routes, he could only face frontwards and hope for the best. It would be so easy to return to his hometown—which was along the way—where his parents would more than gladly welcome him with open arms, but the last thing he wanted was to become a burden to his family.

“You really don’t know where exactly you are going to?”

Taking in his words, you had to double confirm. Namjoon looked like someone who clearly knew all the directions in his life, knew for sure what to do and what not to do. Looks can be deceiving, after all.

“I wish I did.” His body turns to face you now, away from the window and the sudden attention is making you panic a little.

“Honestly, there aren’t many places I could go to either, so.” He points out, acting more like he was engaged in a conversation with himself rather than you.

At that, you could only smile in relation. Strangely, the both of you were very similar in thoughts but worlds apart in expression.

Namjoon enclosed his heart and mind, choosing the appropriate timing to open them and to specifically who. Meanwhile, you consistently let yourself out there even though you try not to, it just happens without intention. But the outgoing exterior eventually fades as you start becoming comfortable with keeping low and quiet as well. Many people would be shocked upon witnessing a whole 360 change in your demeanour, just as they would with Namjoon turning talkative.

“I wish I did too.” A light chuckle spills past your lips and as well as you are attempting to hide the misery suffocating your lungs, you don’t think you’re doing a great job at it.

Namjoon inspects your expression for a fraction, not adding on to the conversation anymore, before he throws his attention back at the greens.

Somehow, there formed an unspoken agreement between the two of you that the last stop would be your destinations.

As the trip went by, the number of passengers onboard gradually decreases, each and every one of them assured of where to alight and where they must reach. You were slightly envious of, especially the complete families who got down the bus with joy spread across their faces. They must have a home that is like a safe haven to them, one where the members could retreat to after a long day in comfort and bliss.

One you could never afford to have, despite how fortunate you were.

There was never an end to the screams and fights, the smashing of objects and the destroying of furniture like they costed nothing. The amount of terrible sleep you get every passing day, progressively shredding your sleep schedule to uneven strips.

It wasn’t until the start of spring when you arrived at a decision to leave home. School was still ongoing, but a break was urgent. Anymore of the nonsense you receive at both your workplace and home, you’re afraid you might just turn haywire and end up being sent to the mental hospital. Throw your mentally and emotionally unstable ass into the asylum—your parents had every aspect to perfectly do so.

“But miss, you can’t just leave like that.” Jungkook, one of your dad’s most trusted security personnel and chauffeur begs you to stay put in your sickening stuffy room with his undying persistence.

“Yes I can. Watch me.” He refused to open the gate no matter how hard you try to plea him and this was your final resort. Flinging your bag over the barrier, it lands on the other side of freedom with a heavy thud and that’s when Jungkook relents.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” You know he’s pissed when he says your name.

 Jungkook was slightly older than you, but the both of you grew up together. The family feuds put him in an uncomfortable situation at times, but he wasn’t to step into matters as such. 

Although maintained at a professional distance, it doesn’t stop him from bringing your favourite cake into the bedroom you would always be found hiding under the sheets from all that fighting. After the storm subsides, Jungkook always appeared with a cake and drink in hand to appease your frightened form, the desserts acting as a type of consolation he couldn’t provide. He was a sweet guy, but you never saw him that way. Jungkook was like an older brother to you. And he wasn’t that good at covering up his silly crush on you.

“Fine!” He unlocks the gate in the most passive-aggressive way ever and you only giggle.

You have him wrapped around your finger and it was no doubt an advantage to you could use all the time.

“Stay safe, regardless.”

You hold both his hands in the most dramatic way ever, swaying up to him like a Disney princess.

When you lean in close to his face, Jungkook is rendered speechless, a flushed mess.

“I will and thank you.” You hum sweetly and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Byeeeeee!” You sing and happily leave the stifling confines of the house, as well as an embarrassed Jungkook standing rooted to the ground.

Your eyes never leave Namjoon on the third rest stop.

The both of you sat in the convenience store, devouring bowls of instant ramen.

You wonder how one phone call can lead to all of this.

Everything Namjoon did was hurtingly adorable to you. Your heart twisted in a wickedly joyful manner when he furrowed his brows. You swear your eyes were pooling with endearment when his cheeks were stuffed full of noodles. The type of attraction you were having for Namjoon was fascinating, like never before. A kind of flower you’ve never had blooming wildly in your chest for a long time. You wonder how he feels about you. Whether he sees you in the same light or not.

The bowls sitting in front of the two of you are now empty, stomachs filled with content.

You stared at Namjoon and Namjoon stared back at you, your eyes never averting because you feel like you could drown in his pretty brown orbs forever. Namjoon breaks the contact and raises a question before you could.

“Is your shampoo jasmine?” He flickered his gaze to your hair, arms coming up to rest on the small table barely enough for two. His face suddenly grows bigger, featuring becoming clearer as the gap in between is shortened.

“Yeah,” You breathed out when he moving towards you. He was leaning so close to your face, you feel yourself unknowingly reversing a little.

Then, everything vanishes and he relaxes back on the chair again.

“And h-how did you know?”

“Someone I used to know.” His voice comes out quiet.

The both of you grabbed lollipops before returning to the coach.

This was the final stretch before the journey ends, the longest one amongst the rest and the fatigue is starting to consume you whole, eyelids feeling heavy.

You don’t know how or when, but a shoulder is pressed to your cheek as hand lightly shakes you.

“We’re here,” He says, stirring you awake.

The driver is long gone, in the restroom or something. 

You jump off the coach, butt and neck feeling sore. 

The two of you stood in front of a shredded motel. 

“Looks like we’ll have to make do.”

The room was smaller than it could have already been, the ceiling paint flaking like horrid dry skin and the cream wallpapers looked like they were going to crumble into dust by a touch of the finger. The first blow is delivered to the layer of glass, cracks beginning to form in the center. Something smells. There’s a distinct stench lingering in the atmosphere of this room. Your eyes dart over to the bathroom. A dirty sock naps comfortably on the rusty towel rack—no, hibernates—because the navy piece of laundry seems to be having the time of its life stinking up possibly the entire motel with its century-old odour.

You switched your life goal to become as unbothered as that abandoned sock.

A second hit to the fragile material, completely falling apart but still you try your best to hold it together for the sake of Namjoon’s optimism.

“Sure we do.” You mumble, but it is amplified in the tiny space.

The volume of your voice was one thing, but Namjoon feels more gigantic than ever, his large frame towering over yours and unknowingly you shrink. He looked so much bigger than you noticed from before and it is evident that you have definitely been noticing him for quite a bit. It must be the size of the room, and not the rapid blossoming of your attraction for him.

The only bed sandwiched between both your standing forms was yet, another issue to be solved. There wasn’t even a couch to be spared, you had to place your bags on the crusty floor. You can’t even hide the grimace crumpling your features when you spot a black dot faded under the white sheets, crawling its way to the pillow. That sight itself, shattered the already broken glass pane of tolerance into fragments.

“Trust me when I say this isn’t the worst I’ve seen.”

Namjoon chirps in, trying to lift the frown off your disgusted face. “Honestly, for a place beside a gas station, this is-”

“Not okay at all.”

You arrived at a decision. And that is to get the hell out of this trash can before Namjoon’s witty tongue and strong cologne persuades you otherwise.

An idea flashes in your mind.

No one would have guessed that you were the daughter of a pair of millionaire parents.

Dressed humbly in a hoodie and leggings, you passed off as any other normal person. You did not fancy the wealthy status plastered onto you since birth. Instead, you actually wished for a simple, blissful life. It was true that money could solve most problems, but you were seeking for another kind of happiness. A happiness so genuine and pure. The grass is always greener on the other side. You weren’t planning to let Namjoon know about your family background at all, but the circumstances the both of you were caught in left you with no other choice.

As soon as you laid your eyes on the bed bug having the time of its life under the sheets, you boldly grabbed Namjoon’s hand and flew out of the musty motel.

The sun was already diving into the horizon, daylight beginning to feel insufficient.

The haggard old man manning the petrol kiosk watches the two of you exit the rundown building and if your vision did not fail you—he sniggers to himself.

Namjoon seems to have noticed this as well, head still turned to face the disheveled man after the two of you made your way to the grass patch by the main road. You stare at Namjoon looking at the man. He was unpacking some boxes of food, and you wonder what is so intriguing about that that Namjoon can’t peel his eyes off of him.

“It’s not easy,” He finally faces front, upon reaching the road. You tuck your fists into the warm pockets of your hoodie.

“What is?”

“Working at a gas station.” Namjoon mumbles lowly, fallen deep in thought.

You contemplate for a while before choosing to not say anything to that. You don’t know how to reply to that anyway.

The air outside was not the freshest, but it was heaven to your lungs compared to the interior.

Your first instinct was to call Jungkook.

This subconscious behaviour of yours has yet to be eradicated, and you figured it must have to do with the fact that Jungkook was the man who could do anything and everything in your eyes. Plus, he was someone you turned to habitually whenever you were met with a crisis. Major or minor.

“Y/N! You better get your ass home by midnight or else your father will behead me!”

“Woah, chill Jungkook. Can you help me see if there are any decent places nearby to stay at?”

Jungkook could easily track you down, a feature your parents granted him to better watch over you.

“What in the world are you doing there?!”

“Sorry. But please help me?” That is all you can provide. Namjoon raises a brow at your conversation over the phone. Darkness was racing to swallow the sky whole and there was not much time left for you to find shelter. You mentally prepared yourself for a sleepless night ahead.

“You’re kidding. There is literally nothing but dirt on that piece of wasteland. What did you expect? One of your father’s lavish villas to pop out magically in front of your eyes?” Jungkook sounds extremely frustrated with the situation you landed yourself in. What he doesn’t and wouldn’t need to know, is that you have someone by your side.

“However…”

All hope is not lost.

“Tell me more about this fantastic idea of yours.” Namjoon’s incessant questioning sparks an urge in you to just go up to him and shut him up with a kiss. Out of annoyance, of course. Containing the thought, you continue denying him of an answer.

“Just wait and see,”

You can’t believe it slipped your mind that the last stop was on the outlines of this town, which meant that the sea was close.

The beach that barely had any visitors was probably just a few miles away from this polluted gas station. The only staff who worked there was the old man from before reaching seventy, unkempt appearance for wandering spirits in this isolated town to see.

The place was derelict and untidy. Litter scattered across the road and the walls reeked of rotten flesh.

Finally, the sea approaches you and Namjoon. Compared to the gas station, the area wrapping the beach was spotless and your mouth falls open slightly. Walking towards the edge of the small cliff, down below laid the fine sand that reflected the dusty evening glow who’s rays of pink and purple are slowly overshadowing the initial golden.

It was then you realised the sun had never meant to eagerly head to bed, it was instead fighting against time, refusing to fade into the sea line this early.

Namjoon must be as struck as you are by the sight, for he doesn’t say a word, only calmly tracing your steps.

The both of you sat on the short grass, quietly admiring the sunset-tainted coast and watching the waves accumulate strength each time it leaves and arrives.

Legs dangling in the air and bags thrown on the ground, you wonder when a time like this would ever happen again. The orange sky gently toasting your eyes and the prickly sensation on the hamstrings. A guy who resembled your ex-boyfriend sitting by your side.  A possible tent in your backpack.

A smile stubbornly grows on your face and you let out a soft giggle at the strange events of today, shaking your head at the foolishness.

“What’re you gleaming about?”

The tranquility is not broken by his voice, only further accentuating it.

“Huh? Oh. Nothing much really, haha…just everything maybe,”

You turn your head to look for his reaction at your contradiction and his eyes capture yours in bewilderment.

“I see. Don’t worry, I understand.” He smiles and the world vanishes, your heartbeat—the only thing you can feel.

“Sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh. When everything’s too painful, when everything’s too joyous, when everything’s going downhill or when everything’s so…serene.”

His fingers clutches onto a random stone and he begins meddling with it.

“Maybe all at once.” You lean back a little, easing into the conversation.

Namjoon chuckles.

“Sometimes though, you gotta vent it out!”

He swings his arm back and throws it forward, catapulting the innocent stone into somewhere in the salty water. It disappears from sight, so you would never know.

When the second-hand hit a quarter to eight, the moon’s motherly appearance persuaded the mischievous yolk to fully drop into the ocean. Nightfall pays a visit.

The possible tent in your backpack.

The only times you have ever slept outside of the neatly painted walls of your enormous room (excluding the walk-in wardrobe), would be sleeping over in the marvellous pink doll house bedroom belonging to your best friend. That counts…right?

There were a few camps here and there in your entire education journey. The thrill of water rafting with the bumpy rocks, the struggles of kayaking and capsizing in the dirty river, the tall grass that crept up your knees and the mud your track shoes sank into. You wish you knew how all of those felt, because every time your class was required to have the time of their lives in a camp site, your teacher would never pass you a consent form for that. Dejected, you already knew the reason behind the disallowing of your participation. It was too harsh for your body and health, they’d always repeat to you and you would stomp to your bedroom and make a mess out of your sheets with piping hot tears.

You hate living a sheltered life. You detested it, even though some may cry for days to have a pampered life like yours. Call it ungrateful, but you would rather live a simple life  with simple happiness. Because money may be the manifestation of bliss, but it also creates problems that it itself cannot be able to solve.

However, money helped Jungkook to create this circular object to pop into a tent once you push the button located inside the mechanism.

“Why and how do you have this?” Namjoon sends you a questionable look.

“Don’t ask. I…uh, like to come prepared.”

You lied. Jungkook sneaked this compacted tent into your bag without you even knowing.

But he informed you about it over the phone and it came in handy at the very least.

“Well then, go ahead and press the activation button.”

“Erm…” You hesitated. What if this was some kind of abduction assistance for Jungkook to bring you back home to your fuming parents?

“I’m having second thoughts about this—Wait no!”

Namjoon yanks it out of your hands and slams the button.

The sphere starts beeping, a red light flashing on the top.

Paranoid, you subconsciously grab onto Namjoon’s hand like you always did to Jungkook when your father raised his voice.

A loud noise erupts from the transformation, and you screw your eyes closed in fear.

The round device jumps and explodes harmlessly, the surfaces opens and nylon sheets are spiralled out into the shape of a tent.

“Y/N,” Namjoon squeezes your hand.

“I think it’s done.”

The both of you view the tent, then the interlocked fingers.

Redness graze your cheeks and Namjoon clears his throat.

You quickly let go and step to inspect the inflated tent.

You silently thanked Jungkook as your body plopped onto the clothed base. Lying on the thin material with the cold ground just beneath it, you are able to feel the earthiness seeping through your skin and the softness of the soil as a bedding. The feeling was no match to the fluffiness of your blankets and bouncy mattress.

Namjoon had gone out to grab booze and a couple of ready-made food from the store earlier and you happily agreed. You haven’t got much of a choice actually, but you were grateful for an opportunity like this with him.

A buzz coming from behind interrupts your stargazing session, you pull your sight away from the deep black sky to realise that it was your phone.

Curiosity overruling your judgement, you reached for the phone.

It was a text from an unknown contact.

Your eyes doubled in size at the series of notifications.

-

Visiting the petrol station again caused a bitterness to rise up his throat.

He wonders if he will end up like the old man behind the counter in the future.

Namjoon was an aspiring producer and lyricist.

He hasn’t shot to fame with his completed works yet, but he has a strong belief that he eventually will, one day. He struggles with the low income the job as a gas pump attendant, taking care of his ill-stricken mother who had been diagnosed with lung cancer as of last year and all hope seemed to be lost.

The news came off as no surprise to him because his mother turned into a heavy smoker after his father abandoned the pair of mother and son for some other woman. The nicotine helped her relieve her stress and depression that consumed her heart, so Namjoon as a young boy couldn’t really say anything to stop his broken mother.

His only parent had insufficient funds to further continue his education after high school so he was left with no options but to work many part-time jobs to support himself.

As time flew by, Namjoon grew into a man that had no direction in life.

He worked in a polluted environment, paid for his mother’s chemotherapy, ate, slept and wished he’d never wake up to see the light of day again.

His apartment was filthy and small, but he was barely keeping up with the rent payments on time. Medical bills placed a huge burden onto his shoulders but he could not give up on his only family who always looked at him with sympathy and hatred.

Hatred because she had told him that life would be much better without her, and Namjoon was stubborn in not willing to let her life end even if it was for good.

His girlfriend did not improve the situation of his life.  

If anything, she only worsened it.

She blamed him for being incompetent and unable to bring her happiness as a boyfriend.

She constantly gave degrading remarks and once mentioned that she felt humiliated by him. If anything, she made him feel shittier about his life than he already was.

She was toxic and he knew it but he was still unable to cut ties with someone who loved him back and was willing to stay with him for so long.

He was a man of strong will and he believes that once he succeeds in his ambition, all the problems he was facing at that moment would disappear.

His girlfriend would stop looking at him like he was a loser and his mother would recover faster in a cleaner and better environment.

This week was a turning point in his life.

His mother overdosed and Sunbin cheated on him a few days after.

To think that his own mother gave up on herself and him when he persevered was heart-breaking. Losing his only kin drove him to the point of insanity.

Beyond devastated, he was a step away from falling off the roof of his apartment.

But something about the bright full moon watching over him that night tweaked his decision.

The wind caressed his cheeks as a form of consolation and the stars sang in the gloomy moonlight for him.

Namjoon thinks, that maybe the occurrence of these events was a sign.

Maybe the heavens were trying to tell him something.

He climbed up the wall of his dead end and saw something greater.

His strength was back when he stepped down from the platform.

That is why the morning after he was at the bus station, waiting for the vehicle that will carry him around to clear his thoughts.

Being on a long bus ride relaxed him and for some reason, made his heart feel at ease.

Perhaps it was the trees passing by or the sun that stayed still in position when he was moving, but it filled him with happiness to distance away from the cruel reality for a while in the comfortable seats of a bus. Bus rides were so peaceful and he enjoyed them to the fullest every time without fail.

As he tossed the lollipop stick into the trash bin, his eyes skim across the people at the station, it hooked onto a book he had been wanting to read for a long time.

Jung’s Map Of The Soul: An Introduction was a book that summarises Jung’s vision of psychological and spiritual life.

He hadn’t got the time or money to think about a book, but now that he had seen the actual copy, he was intrigued.

His gaze travel up to the owner of the book, then to the book, then to your face again.

He wasn’t gawking creepily or anything, but your features were rather beautiful. Not that he went up straight to your face and told you that. But he stared for a while, switching between the book and you before minding his own business again.

Looking at you reminded him of his past and only girlfriend. A book in hand, warming her hands over a cup of coffee as he strikes a conversation with her over the book. Later on he found out that she was not into reading at all, and the precious book was a prop in her scheme to get Namjoon to notice her. He didn’t express the wryness he felt tugging at his insides, but he was a little shocked by her deceiving appearance. He wonders just how many more things she was hiding about herself. The only exception with you is that he did not walk towards you.

His girlfriend had just left him.

Sunbin called and he tried his hardest to not care.

It was impossible. He had to hear her out, know what exactly he did wrong, where it all started.

When you lent him your cellphone he keyed in her number like it was the only thing he memorised by heart and frustratedly waited for her answer.

Sunbin was the type to lie in order to achieve whatever result she wanted, but when Namjoon demanded the truth or she was exposed, she would tell him things from the bottom of her heart.

It was after her true explanation behind her abandonment of the relationship that Namjoon lowers the phone in hand and ends the call with a cold farewell.

It wasn’t anything that had to do with her character. It was about the money and status.

That was the time she informed him about how ashamed she was when she introduced Namjoon to her parents or told her friends about her boyfriend.

Namjoon realised that he had nothing to say about that, only silently agreeing and nodding in understanding.

But he wished that his own girlfriend would have a little more faith and pride in his passion and dreams. Not to the point where she’d went out and slept with another man.

His heart broke even more when she confessed that she brought the man home to meet her parents instead of him because he was more capable, as she stated.

Namjoon loved her like she was his everything and yet, she treated him like nothing.

Sunbin made him question his worth and drive all the time. He should be grateful that the poison in his life had been removed.

The third time you try to talk to him, he gave in to your advances.

Namjoon was just going to let whatever happen happen, not purposely going out of way to shut you out or anything.

He was single and available.

He could do anything he wanted now like a man with freedom now.

He’s got nothing to lose.

Namjoon returns with some greasy mac ’n cheese and some bottles of beer.

He finds you inside, full attention on the book that you did not even realise he entered.

The temperature was dropping and the inside of the tent felt as cold as outside.

“Don’t you find it a little cold?”

He ducks and steps inside with bags of food and drinks.

You put your book down.

“Do you want me to set up a fire or something?”

He pauses, fighting back a smile.

Before challenging you.

“Do you even know how to?”

He snickers and takes out the container, allowing the smell of cheese to roam the confined space.

“Right…you have a point.” You pout, the imaginary little campfire bursting like a bubble popped in your head.

Something even better comes to mind.

“Maybe we can… cuddle or something.”

Namjoon freezes, unable to make proper eye contact with you.

“It’s a friendly suggestion.”

You say that, but your eyes glimmer with hope and admiration for him.

After a long awkward moment, Namjoon seems to have set his mind onto something when he finishes his meal.

“We’ll see about that. Here,” He hands you one of the bottles of booze and you gladly accepted it.

The two of you sit at the exact spot from before, this time with the company of the moon and stars.

Namjoon looks at them like he did with the trees and you concluded that this man must carry a deep love for the nature.

“I have a question,” You take a swig of the beer to give yourself alcohol courage.

Should you ask it now? Or are you taking things too fast, considering that you’ve only met this man today and letting him know that you would give him the world?

“Moon or stars?”

You ask quietly, careful to not ruin the placidity of the hushed waves and bristling trees.

“The moon.”

“Why?” You chuckle at how his reply was almost instantaneous.

“The moon, you see. Stars, there are plenty of them. But the moon is the one and only. It may sound quite stupid to you, but I like special things. Especially when people don’t pay much mind to them…little things. Like the moon.”

You watch and listen to him speak attentively.

The moon isn’t exactly little, but you hold back your interruption to let him finish.

“Everybody is so caught up with their business—be it work or play—that they don’t care about the little things that much anymore. One day, if the moon turns slightly yellow, probably five in a hundred people would only notice. The rest don’t take the time to look at the surroundings, the peaceful nature that is with them in life. Which is quite sad actually. Why is stargazing so popular but moongazing isn’t? They come in a package, it’s unfair to exclude her from the word.”

At that, you burst out into laughter.

“That makes sense,” You laugh again. “Stars appear and disappear all the time, that is why. The moon…well, the moon is sort of always just there. People tend to take these things for granted you see.”

Namjoon turns to face you, allured by your explanation.

“Why do you think it’s whale watching and not fish watching?”

You tilt your head at him, providing an analogy.

“Because we don’t see whales all the time…” He mutters, staring into the distance as if he had just got a math equation figured out.

“Precisely. It’s a strange world.”

You were different.

It was silly of Namjoon to automatically assume that you were the same as his ex-girlfriend, because the both of you were total opposites.

She would have just actively dismissed him before he even started on his thoughts on the topic—no, she wouldn’t even ask a question like that.

Namjoon was sure that she did not even know about his love for the moon.

And here he was, with a stranger he met on the bus, pouring out his opinions and questions about stars and moons. He felt like he was on cloud nine to be able to talk to someone so comfortably about something so random. Something that not many would even give two hoots about.

Your fingers drum on the surface of the ground, your hands propping your body to sit upright on the edge of the cliff.

“Then,” You start again.

“Desert or sea.” You point out to the ocean, which was barely even visible under the shade of night.

“Can I choose beach?” Namjoon chortles, placing his hands behind as well to lean back, brushing over yours accidentally.

His fingers graze and land over your smaller ones, his big hand trapping yours in an almost uncertain way.

He didn’t move, you didn’t move. He just let his hand rest near yours, slightly touching but never mentioned.

You shake your head in response, grinning.

Namjoon was just about to answer with the latter but you beat him to it.

“I’d say desert. When you have everything… it could just drown you.”

You say this and bite on your lip, like having everything actually hurt you before.

Namjoon disagrees, a man who tasted the feeling of losing everything.

“Having nothing is just as equal.” He rebuts, washing the sadness stinging in his veins with a full mouth of beer.

Like a man suffering a drought.

A silence of mutual understanding blankets the conversation, staring at the glittery sky and listening to the rushed waves of the sea, and drinking booze.

Unconsciously, you slip nearer to him.

Blame the alcohol, because the feeling of his thigh touching yours was electrifying.

Somewhere into the slow night, you and Namjoon talked about all sorts of stuff without returning to the tent. The night breeze was cooling to the skin and you enjoyed it very much. Still, your thighs were still touching but no one got onto each other’s lap or avoided the skin contact. You placed the last bottle down carelessly, the clanking of it against the hard rock warning you of the close breakage—but honestly you couldn’t care less.  

Namjoon was on his third bottle of Soju and you were on the second, but the answer was clear as to who was the lightweight.

“I think lobsters are immortals,” You made a brave statement, puffing out your chest.

“I think the fuck not, Y/N.”

You never liked your name being called by someone this much.

The way it perfectly flows out of his mouth, his thick voice and blank expression. Heat began creeping up to your cheeks—you’re unsure if it’s from the anger of retorting or your name on his lips.

You’re a little tipsy to be thinking coherent thoughts, but screw sobriety.

“Technically, there is evidence—”

“Oh, why don’t you just shut up and own some crabby petties?” You sassed back at him, ignoring his substantial proof of lobsters dying of age.

“And, leave. My. Lobsters. Alone.”

You draw your face closer to his as you tell him that, the realisation of the proximity  between both your lips not dawning right on you yet.

You were in the middle of a discussion on crustaceans with him, and suddenly your face was pulled so close to his own.

Namjoon looks you in the eyes, something fiery can be sensed through his brown orbs and you can feel his breath on your cupid’s bow.

His gaze kept flickering between your lips and your eyes, and you dark your tongue out to lick at them, feeling slightly self-conscious.

Then, he makes home at your eyes.

“Did you just make a pun,”

His voice falls an octave, a hint of raspiness hidden behind his throat.

Both your bodies were leaning so close to each other now, arms behind each other’s backs to keep near.

“Yeah I did. So what.” You breathed out shyly yet your words bagged a heavy tut. You were surprised that you even managed to form a response being this close to Namjoon.

You swear your nose was bumping onto the tip of his now, the one you had so badly dreamt of kissing from the gas station earlier on.

You fired the last question.

“Kiss or be kissed,”

And your heart lurches when he steals the period of the sentence away, by dipping his head to snatch your breath away.

He was nothing like the kisser you imagined with those plump lips; rough, urgent and sensual all at the same time. Namjoon slants his lips with yours fervently, hand coming up to hold your neck firmly as he kisses you.

Fluttering your lids shut, your place your hands on his firm chest before smoothing them up to wrap around his neck. The action made him growl lowly before lunging onto your body like a beast starved.

A light whimper leaves your throat as he moves his lips rhythmically against yours, teeth clashing and breaths exchanged. Your moans in his mouth seem to encourage him further, but still his tongue makes no appearance.

He knew how to take things fast and slow at the same time, and you loved every moment of it.

Namjoon gains full control over you by tilting your head the angle he wants to devour you and he melds his lips with yours like you were going to disappear by the second.

He had pushed you onto your back onto the rock platform already, whole body caging yours when he finally breaks away.

You were a panting mess from his rushed kissing, lips swollen from how hard he had bit onto it and hair slightly tousled from his fingers running through it.

“Kiss. I want to kiss you all night.”

Inside you beamed like the brightest star alive and this time, it was you who captures his lips again.

Namjoon tasted like a mixture of bitter and sweet, he was soft in his actions but his mouth was relentless.

It took you a lot of willpower—with his face stuck to yours and hands caressing your jaw— but you succeeded in pushing him away to get inside.

“Namjoon,” You barely pronounce his name right, because he takes your gesture as a sign to continue his ministrations on your jaw.

“Do you wanna go into the tent instead?”

He plants a final kiss onto your lips before standing up and offering you a hand.

The buzz invites itself onto your phone once again and you internally groaned, wishing he’d heard nothing.

“I think that was your phone,” He alerts you, and you pretend to not care.

“It’s nothing important.” You say as you lean in and press your lips against his cheeks.

He shoves you away gently.

“Wait, what if it’s for me?”

“Nam—“

In no time, he let go of your hand and went on his knees to search for the resounding device.

The same cold Unknown flashed on the screen and you tongued at your cheek.

Namjoon stares at the phone for a while, biting the inside of his cheek in contemplation.

“I…I have to take this,” He stammers and it was all you needed.

You reach for his hand and held it calmly.

“Don’t,” You have no idea what you trying to tell him but you knew that he should never pick up.

“You looked so pained whenever you’re on that call…”

His hair reflected a streak of gold under the mini lamp and his features were so dangerously beautiful. He was still, in one way or another, a stranger to you but you were eager to learn about his world and dive into the deepness of his soul.

You could feel it—from the bus station, to the gas pumps and now by the beach with him—that he was so lost and broken, just the way you were.

You wanted to be the light to guide him out of this darkness but he always deemed it impossible by returning to the old ways.

“Then why are you here?” You take a step, decreasing the space between.

“Isn’t the purpose of this whole short escapade to renew and start afresh?”

You released a sigh, not navigating where exactly this was headed towards.

“It’s your life… It’s yours to decide.”

He doesn’t look at you, only thinking about it hard.

That is before he returns the phone to you and mumbles that he’ll head to bed first.

You rarely stopped yourself from asking questions when curiosity consumed you. But when it came to Namjoon however… you stay silent.

You did not want to intrude more than you should, but you also knew that Namjoon, the guy you’ve been crushing on since the start of the bus ride, would never open his mouth unless you asked him to.

Seeing Namjoon being so despondent reminded you of your situation with your family.

Thoughts about your parents, Jungkook, Namjoon…Namjoon.

The way he kissed you a few minutes ago soared you to heaven temporarily.

Was he ever this attracted to you as you were all along?

The more you think, the more things seemed bizarre and did not make any sense at all.

You wonder what sparked the sudden urge to pounce onto you like he did last night when he wouldn’t even spare you a proper glance on the bus.

You did not want this day to end on bad note.

If this was the first and last time with him, you wanted to make it worth while.

“So…you don’t mind cuddling, do you?”

The body beside you stirs awake.

Seems like you were not alone in failing to catch some sleep.

Namjoon doesn’t reply to that, only proceeding to finally wrap his arms firmly around you. You resist the squeak of excitement popping out of your chest as you feel his muscular chest press against your back. He hums in response, the low vibrations travelling down your spine and you fight back a shiver. Namjoon seemed too tired to say anything else.

You keep still, not wanting any small movement to disrupt his rest.

He falls asleep in two seconds while you carry on with your attempts.

You couldn’t sleep despite the fatigue rinsing you and draining your head of any sensibility.  

Clamping your lids shut, you try to focus on the rhythm of your breathing instead to ease yourself into a slumber as well. This time, it twitches against your ass and you can no longer close one eye to the situation at hand.

Bucking your hips back into his, he involuntarily lets out a deep groan at the feeling. Whether he was still in his sleep or not, the noises Namjoon made sent your mind spiralling into a pool of lust.

His dick grows even harder, pushing against the material of your shorts.

“Namjoon,” You try to flip over to face him, but failing to do so as he steadies you in place.

“Namjoon,” You whine in protest, the feeling overwhelming and you have to do something about it.

The second call of his name stirs him slightly awake, hand accidentally sliding down the curve of your thigh and a shudder rumbles throughout your body as he touches the sensitive skin. He seems to get the reaction, doing it again, and this time skimming over the inside of your thigh. He’s doing this on purpose, to tease you to the end of your wits and you are not going to lie there and take it.

You swear you were about to throw yourself over and pin his cheeky hands down, but he beats you to it by a step. His lips ghosts over the shell of your ear, grip tightening on your thigh and you let loose completely.

“What is it that you want so badly,” His mouth travels to the exposed skin of your neck, tongue darting out to give you small licks. “That you keep waking me up?”

“W-Why do you have a boner?”

“It happens when I’m tired.”

“Oh,” You blinked, remembering the feel of it against your ass.

Long, thick and heavy. Throbbing, even. You couldn’t register the fact that you were salivating as he crashes his lips onto yours once more, savouring all of you.

“I want you to fuck me so good, Namjoon.”

He shoots his head up from the curve of your neck, expression laced with confused and shock.

“No pressure.” You blurt out to save yourself when he stares at you like you’ve made a bad joke.

“Say that again.”

He startles you by using his fingers to rub circles onto your clothed clit.

You let out a squeak when he applies more pressure onto the sensitive nub, drawling a moan to spill from your lips.

“What do you want?”

He’s getting impatient, shoving your panties to the side and sliding a finger inside of you.

You sighed and held onto his shoulders when he started pumping the digit in and out of your wetness.

“Can you fuck me please?” You look him in the eye as you say this, making him hiss and groan in satisfaction.

“Since you asked so nicely…”

His finger picks up a rapid pace, your juices smeared messily over his hand.

“Fuck baby, you’re so wet already…”

He sticks his tongue out and you oblige by sucking on his wet muscle.

Shortly after, he replaces it with his soaked finger and you take the whole length of his finger into your mouth and swirled your tongue around it.

Namjoon feels more blood rush to his cock if that is even possible, because he is so hard, he doesn’t even know if he can feel his dick.

You slowly let your oversized shirt fall off your shoulders, sliding down to expose your breasts.

Namjoon rips the shirt apart instead and latches his mouth onto a hardened nipple.

He cups the other breast in one hand, passionately massaging it while his other hand runs up and down the slickness of your heat.

“Everything about you…Mmm—so perfect…” He hums and sucks on your breast.

You were going to explode.

He was touching you in so many places at once, his hard length brushing against your torso occasionally and his hands possessively roaming over every inch of your skin.

“Namjoon,” You whined out to him again, wanting more than just touching and kissing.

“Turn around,” He commands deeply and you hurry to his desired position, giving him a full view of your ass.

He slaps it on instinct, before coming up to rub the sting away.

Namjoon doesn’t give you a heads up before sliding his cock into you easily.

Screaming, he starts off rough like his kisses and you can’t help but feel tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

The pain was forced into pleasure as he continued to piston his hips into you relentlessly, the thickness stretching you out and filling you up so good.

As he slammed into you harder and harder, you felt like you were being used as a sex toy. Like he was only venting in the sex with you.

You hated it, but it still felt impossibly good and irresistible.

“Ah, god. You feel so fucking tight—argh!” He moans and you clench around him even more at the noise he made.

“N-Namjoon,” You repeated his name for as many times as you could, enjoying the way you can call him like that, in this manner.

Namjoon was close. He could feel it just by seeing you sprawled out naked for him, ass up and head smashed onto the pillow. The way your ass jiggled every time his hips smacked onto them, the pretty little noises you made with every thrust.

The way his name sounded falling from your lips.

He came inside of you, right after you climaxed with the help of the rubbing of your clit with your own fingers and the both you plopped down next to each other, beat from the sex.

Moments like these; him lying next to side half-naked and smiling away about nothing at all, and the small giggles that erupt from your lungs, the accidental light grazes of his hand over yours, his dimpled smile that rarely showed up.

When you wake up to the sun that glared fiercely through the nylon sheets of your temporary shelter, Namjoon was watching you.

Jumping back, you grab the blanket as a form of protection.

“What… are you doing here?!”

He looks down, trying to contain his laughter.

“Wait, where am I?”

The memories start running back to you piece by piece and you nod in realisation.

“Ah, right.”

Namjoon flashes the last of his full smile that is equivalent to the sun.

Moments like these, are short-lived.

“Y/N,” He says, tone somehow serious but casual.

“I’m leaving.”

You gather yourself and listen.

“Last night, was spectacular.” He tells you confidently. A shade of coral brushes over your cheeks.

“Not just…that, of course. I really enjoyed every second spent with you and I’m so glad you came into my life. Even if it was just for a night. Or day, whatever.”

Because nothing ever goes smoothly in life.

Even Alice had to leave Wonderland.

“I’m going to find her and get her back.”

Happiness was still something you were going to continue searching for, while Namjoon fights for his own.

“Oh,” It’s all you can reply, your head a pool of thoughts, words, feelings and emotions. But you wouldn’t voice them out. You couldn’t.

“Goodluck. I had a fun time as well.”

Even though you wished for more.

“I hope you’ll be heading wherever you need to be as well?”

Namjoon stretches his hand out and you slap it.

He was inserting all this platonic gestures to not make it feel weirder than it already is.

“Yeah. Will be on my way.”

You can already sense a Jungkook driving his way here to pick you up according to the summon of your father. While Namjoon will look for his lover and seek the clarification he needs.

In fact, the both of you will be on your separate ways now.

This, is where the true journey of a bus ride with him, ends.

It’s been exactly ten weeks since your strange encounter with Namjoon.

An encounter that consisted of almost everything an adventure had in store.

All of this is not a coincidence , you like to believe.

Every single time you were on a bus, you can’t help but wonder if Namjoon would magically pop out and turn your life downside up. Cause the butterflies in your stomach to form again. You want to know what he’s doing. If him and his girlfriend are well now.

Even as of right now, you can’t help but anticipate the next bus ride to happen, rejecting Jungkook’s offer for a ride.

At night, you cannot sleep without thinking about the moonlight that shines in his eyes.

The way your name falls from his lips.

His soft touches and gentle caresses.

His sweet and plump lips with his big hands on your hips.

As much as you’d like to forget, no one has ever brought you to close to euphoria before.

It was considerably the happiest moment in your stagnant life.

Being with Namjoon made you feel like achieved something great. The strong thumping of your heart, the words that flowed so smoothly out of your mouth, your jumbled thoughts coming together perfectly with him around.

It just felt so right.

A tap on your shoulder caused you to remove an ear bud.

“Excuse me, miss. Is this seat taken?”

[purplesurveys]

1031

Do you usually take blame or blame others? Depends on the context, I guess? When things go wrong on a very deep and personal level between me and people I deeply care for, I usually try to find reasons to blame myself. But if it’s something superficial, like if someone messes up at work through no fault of my own, then I’m able to point my finger to whoever fucked up.

Have you ever been to a McDonald’s in another state? I’ve been to McDonald’s in different provinces and also  in different countries. The McDonald’s we went to in Baguio was so surreal because we discovered that they were still using styrofoam containers that they had already phased out years ago everywhere else, and they also never changed the original spaghetti and chicken recipes I grew up with. It was such a blast from the past. As for other countries, I’ve tried out the McDonald’s in Malaysia, Indonesia, and China and made sure to order items that we didn’t have back home.

Have you ever seen 50 First Dates? Yeah, it’s one of my semi-guilty pleasures. It’s such a cheesy movie, but idk the concept is unique and the supporting characters made the whole movie enjoyable for me.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish? The fishy smell at the market can be pretty strong and bleck, but generally I don’t mind the smell of fish. I live in an archipelago, man. We live and breathe seafood. Idk anyone in real life who doesn’t like fish.

Have you ever been to Sea World? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss? I don’t think so, no.

Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? Yeah, but the only one I’ve gotten to read in full was The Fault In Our Stars. I also got to start on The Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, but because I only borrowed those copies from friends I never got to read either until the end. All were okay, but I don’t find John Green’s writing to be as great as it was once hyped up to be.

If so, which one is your favorite? I guess TFIOS, since that’s the only one I got to read through to the end.

Are you a protective person? With my loved ones and pets, yes.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Yeah I’ve felt a lot but fortunately it’s never been a severe one. Just super brief earthquakes where the most that happened to me was a little swaying.

Would you rather go to a beach or city for a vacation? I love beaches, but a change in scenery would also be nice because I already go to beaches for vacations fairly often. City.

Does your license plate number contain the number 8? I never actually memorized my plate number LOOOOOOL I think so? It’s either a 6 or 8.

Were you ever a ghost on Halloween? Nope.

Has someone ever held the door open for you? Yeah, security guards tend to do that for customers/guests. Sometimes, nice strangers that I enter a place with will do it for me too.

Are you a fan of penguins? I think fan is pushing it far lol. I like penguins, but I’m not obsessed.

Have you ever stayed up all night on a school night? Just a handful of times, and it was always as part of a groupwork. I’d never willingly go through an all-nighter for myself.

What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos or Pringles. We also have a local brand that makes these deeeeeelicious salted egg chips, but I’ve never actually taken note of what the brand is.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Not to me. But a lot of people have sung around me.

Are you a good painter? No. That’s why I opt for paint-by-number kits, because those come with a guide haha. I can’t actually craft images by myself – that skill belongs to my sister who has an insane talent for painting.

Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never bought a car by myself; my dad takes care of the car purchases. I know he test-drove the Vitara, but idk about the other cars we have.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? Hmm, I don’t write poems. I don’t find the vast majority of them appealing, and only once in a while will there be a poem that is able to speak to me.

Do you like pineapple? Nope.

Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite.

Do you look more like your mom or dad? Most comments point to my mom, but I’ll get the occasional remark that half of my face is my dad’s as well. I’m a good mix of both.

Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? This hasn’t happened before.

When was the last time someone called you babe or baby? Maybe August? I’m not too sure. It’s been a few months.

Do you have an older brother? No. But I’m super close with my eldest cousin on my mom’s side and we grew up together and all that, and I pretty much consider him my older brother. He’s definitely more a brother than a cousin to me, and it has always felt and been that way.

Are you a fan of art? Yes, especially paintings and dioramas.

Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? My mom’s, I think? I really don’t know, I’m bad at recognizing this kind of stuff. You’d have to ask people who actually see me on a daily basis.

Have you ever seen the movie My Girl? Is this the one with the really sad scene of a boy’s funeral and the girl’s like, “He can’t see without his glasses”? I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve heard about that scene a million times.

Do you watch Teen Wolf on MTV? Ugh, MTV’s teen shows are such a cringefest to me. I never followed it, but I’ve had to watch a few eps back in high school when my friends would watch it while we were at someone’s place. Not my cup of tea.

When it was on, did you watch Cory In The House on Disney? I watched a few episodes, especially when it was still new. But we were also in the process of moving then and we didn’t have cable for a few years in our new house, so I had to miss out most of it.

Do you have any blackheads? I don’t.

Do you have any freckles? Nope.

Do you have a movie that you have to watch during the summer every year? No, but I have something similar. I like watching Love Actually at least once every year, during the Christmas season. I like watching Two for The Road once a year as well, regardless of the time of year.

Do you think that life isn’t fair sometimes? I mean yeah. It doesn’t revolve around me, so I know it won’t always be fair.

When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Valentine’s Day last year.

What was the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Haven’t touched it since September, though.

How many books do you plan to read this summer? It’s past summer, and I haven’t been doing a lot of reading in general.

Does your house have a dishwasher? No, not a common appliance here.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? I probably do. But I haven’t seen people outside of family for so long that I can barely remember who has which tattoos. I’m pretty sure I know someone who has flowers.

Do you like the name Carter? It just reminds me of the underwear brand honestly, so not a fan.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? No. Should there be one, they shouldn’t be having high hopes; I wouldn’t be interested in the least.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in? There’s English, Filipino, Korean, Spanish, German, French, Japanese – 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. Disagree for the most part, but 50 First Dates is cute.

--

Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? Yups. I wore sneakers when I went out to get Starbucks last Friday evening.

How much money did you spend yesterday? The charging cable that I ordered arrived yesterday, so I had to shell out ₱140 for that.

What genre is your favorite movie? It’s a romcom/drama. My other favorite is a drama.

Are you texting anybody right now? Nope. I’m all alone today, which is the way I want to be for this weekend.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My parents.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? I really do, hahaha. I don’t know why the people at the LTO gave me a pass, but I had been allowed to smile with my teeth. That helped make my license photo turn out super well and I no longer feel embarrassed whenever I have to take it out and present it somewhere.

What’s your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? Potato Corner fries. Can’t be any other type of fries.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? July or August when this random guy slid into my PMs. I had never had so much fun blocking somebody so fast.

Was the last person you met a male or female? The last new person I met was male.

Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Angela or Andi.

Do you own a map of the world? I mean, I guess. I have a collection of the World Almanac for Kids books, and it had always included a world map in its Countries chapter every year.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Is the light on in the room you’re in? No, doesn’t have to be as it’s bright out and I can see the sun from my window.

Who did you last spoon with? Gabie.

Are you currently watching TV? No.

Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Never. Hope I’ll never be needing one.

Do you own any clothing that has animal print? I have a tank top with cheetah print that I sometimes wear at home.

Does your family eat dinner together? Yes, every evening. We don’t eat together when my dad is working abroad, but since he has stayed home for all of 2020 because of Covid, we’ve gotten to eat together as a family all year.

Where do you work? Somewhere in Metro Manila; I’m not giving the city away.

Are you in high school? I got out of there nearly five years ago.

Do you have a TV in your room? I used to, but not anymore.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My phone and laptop both are.

What was the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8.

--

Are you hungry?: I can def go for a snack, or maybe even a full meal. It’s taking everything in me not to order Popeye’s or Army Navy from Grab rn.

What color is the chair you’re sitting on?: I’m sitting up in bed; my sheets are blue with gold/yellow prints.

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: I got bottled coffee when I went to 7-Eleven a week ago.

Do you like salsa that has fruit in it?: ...Don’t all types of salsa have fruit in them though? It would be brand-new knowledge to me if I was told not all salsas have fruit.

Have you ever opened up your computer to clean the fan on the inside?: No. I’d rather have professionals do that.

Can you count in binary?: No, and I never even understood how it works.

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: No. Mostly because it reminds me of cathedrals.

Are you a chocoholic?: Nah. I like chocolate, but I can live without it.

Are you scared of snakes?: I mean if they were venomous or obviously wanted to eat me whole, of course. But I’ve also already held a couple of snakes before.

Have you had your wisdom teeth removed?: No.

Do you like hard or soft pretzels better?: Soft all the way. I find the hard ones too salty.

What was the last magazine or catalog you looked through?: I don’t even remember. Maybe Tatler? My grandma has loads of those at her house.

When was the last time you wore a raincoat?: I don’t think I have ever worn a raincoat.

Have you ever been carded when buying something?: Idk what that is but nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened to me whenever I’ve made a purchase, so I’m gonna go ahead and say no.

Do you eat meat?: Yep.

Corn and mashed potatoes, or beans and rice?: Both pairings aren’t really a part of our cuisine, so neither sound appealing to be honest. As someone who thrives on rice, I hate the idea of eating beans with it; so I would go with corn and mashed potatoes even though I’m having a hard time imagining how it would work.

Can you sleep with the light on?: I probably can, but it would take me a lot longer to fall asleep.

What’s your operating system of choice?: Mac/iOS.

Have you ever broken a bone?: Never.

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: I don’t have a favorite color to use, but I prefer pastel shades in general over neon.

Do you have a flashlight?: My phone has a built-in flashlight, but we also keep a couple of emergency flashlights at home in case of blackouts.

Do you like watermelon?: I like some watermelon-flavored stuff like candies, but I’m not fond of the fruit.

…Honeydew?: Hahahahahaha. BoJack Horseman, anyone? Anyway, I’ve never had honeydew and probably wouldn’t like it considering my established opinion on fruits.

Can you shoot a gun?: I’ve never tried, so I’ll say no. I’ve always been meaning to go to a shooting range though; I feel like it’ll be such a cool experience.

Do you like salad?: Not for the most part. The only kind I enjoy is spicy tuna salad, which only has lettuce in it alongside tuna sashimi and spicy mayonnaise.

When was the last time you smashed your finger?: I don’t know if I ever have? This doesn’t ring a bell to me.

What color is your computer?: Silver/gray.

Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class?: No, my chemistry classes in high school and college were never that fun.

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: Sure.

What color hair do you have?: Black.

Do you use the microwave often?: I wouldn’t say so; just a couple of times a month.

Are you good at spelling?: Sure, I’d claim that. Thank the movie Akeelah and the Bee; that movie made me super passionate about spelling and dictionaries for a time. I can still feel its effects today because I’m still very much particular about spelling more so than any other kind of writing/language mechanic.

Have you ever petted a donkey?: I’ve never even seen one before :o but I’d love to have the chance to pet one, heh. It would make me so happy.

When was the last time you went to the doctor’s for a physical?: 2016.

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: Sure.

Have you ever painted a room? Never have, but would like to give it a try.

[hwayoungscorpioshin]

Xeno | nineteen

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“He’s gone crazy...”

Wooseok lowers himself on the sidewalk. He can’t explain how he feels. Betrayed? Terrified? Relieved? He looks over the direction where he thinks Yohan will be coming from. The urge to call another lyft home almost overcomes him, but then he remembers Eunsang calling him a coward. And Kim Wooseok is anything but that. So, he slides his phone back into his pocket and waits until the familiar headlights of Yohan’s car shines at him.

The moment Yohan arrives, Wooseok doesn’t waste time with pleasantries. In fact, he doesn’t even bother to look at Yohan before he opens the door on the passenger’s side and slides into the seat. He’s already clicked on the seatbelt when he hears the driver of the car speak.

“Never mind, he‘s already in the car,” the person next to him says to somebody on the phone.

Wooseok whips his head to the driver’s side and has almost immediately ran out of the door if only the car hasn’t been locked faster than his instincts. Trapped inside, he takes a shaky breath before he speaks.

“Y-YN...”

The girl shoots him a glance as she places her phone on the dock. She pulls the handbrake up and starts to drive silently. Wooseok is left dumbfounded for the night yet again. The realization that both Yohan and Eunsang has set him up tonight refuses to sink into his brain. The car suddenly jolts when the girl changes gears and she lets out a nervous chuckle.

Wooseok studies her as she drives. Her posture looks awkward and uneasy and the way she turns the steering wheel looks like she hasn’t done it for a long time.

“Do you even know how to drive?” Wooseok can’t help but ask.

The girl turns to him but due to the lack of light, Wooseok is unable to read her expression. So perhaps to compensate, she makes a sound of confirmation.

Somehow, her non-verbal answer makes Wooseok suspicious and he presses on. “Who taught you?”

“My dad...a week ago.”

“What?” Wooseok exclaims.

The girl makes a quick turn to park in front of a convenience store and turns on the overhead light in the car. The annoyed expression Wooseok sees on her face surprises him.

“I learned to drive when I came to visit my dad over the week. Look, everyone in the party was either wasted or lazy or both. It’s not like I chose this.”

“That’s not what I’m saying—“ Wooseok starts but he immediately gets cut off.

“Then, what are you saying, really?”

He turns away, eyes trained straight ahead. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” the V on the girl’s forehead is becoming deeper and deeper.

“I’m saying I’m sorry.”

She makes a ‘tch’ sound and leans back on her seat. “I’m not the one you need to say sorry to.”

“No, it’s true that the guy talked shit about my brother. I’m sorry you had to hear the truth from Eunsang the blabber mouth.”

Wooseok hopes it clears the issue with her once and for all but it looks like it’s only made her all the more confused because she turns to him again, clearly not following.

“What in the world are you talking about, Wooseok? Eunsang and I never spoke. Only Yohan approached me to ask to drive you home since your lyft never came,” she explains.

At the outset, her story doesn’t make sense to Wooseok but then again, it’s Eunsang after all. He fears he’s been played for a second time tonight. Wooseok sinks further into the passenger’s seat in silence as he looks out the window.

“What guy?” the girl suddenly asks.

Wooseok shakes his head, finally understanding that Eunsang never really told her anything. “Nobody.”

She crosses her arms across her chest as she looks on. “Fine. We’re not leaving until you come clean with everything.”

“You do know that I could just get out of the car and leave you here, right?”

The girl tries to glare at him but she obviously isn’t used to making angry expressions so she drops it and settles for a poker face. Wooseok finds it funny, but she’s not having any of it.

“If you do that, I’ll scream at the people outside that you mugged me and they’ll bring you back here, anyway,” she responds, rolling down the window on her side for emphasis.

Wooseok raises an eyebrow. “You’re not going to do that.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Wooseok. I’m feeling pretty desperate right now...“ the girl says, taunting him.

Feeling cornered and defeated, Wooseok raises both his hands in surrender. “Okay, fine.”

“Okay, fine what?“

“Okay, fine. I’ll answer your questions.“

The girl takes off her seat belt and grabs her wallet from the backseat. “Stay here. I’m going to get us some snacks.”

Wooseok doesn’t even get a chance to respond before she’s already out and running into the convenience store.

The girl gets back into the car with a plop. She shoves one of the two huge plastic bags of snacks that she’s bought at Wooseok and closes the door. She expertly throws everything at the backseat like she owns the car and grabs a single bag of chips from it.

“Okay. Let’s do this,“ she says after opening the bag.

Wooseok moves to get one for himself from the other plastic bag that she’s shoved at him earlier but the girl stills his hand.

“What?“ he asks.

The girl shrugs. “Sorry. You don’t get to eat until you answer a question. Rules are rules.”

“Huh?“

She completely ignores him as she pulls out a pen and paper from her bag. In the back of his mind, Wooseok wonders why she has those in her bag knowing that she’s going to a party. But then again, this is crazy-smart, studious YN. He shouldn’t be surprised if she has a book lying around somewhere.

“Okay,“ she announces, “Question number one: do you know the guy who you know...“

Wooseok is baffled with the very casual tone that she’s used. It’s almost as if they’re reviewing for the evaluation test again. “No, but my brother did.”

The girl nods and jots down on her paper like a reporter. “How did they know each other?“

“They were classmates in high school.“

“Have you seen him before the incident?“

“No.“

“Did you see him after the inci—”

“Hold on, YN,“ Wooseok says, holding up a hand. “This isn’t working. You know what? I’ll just tell you exactly what happened.“

She opens her mouth to protest but Wooseok quickly places a piece of potato chip inside her mouth. “You’re done talking for now.”

With that, she finally shuts up and listens to Wooseok as he tells her everything.

Summary: Wooseok is a stand-offish guy and you are a soft girl.

Also known as Wooseok’s bad boy image reimagined

A/N: One last chapter and we’re done~! Thank you so much for keeping up with Xeno up until now uwu

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[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part 3

Sarah Connor knows how to make an entrance.

(parts one and two)

This is in the trailer, and it's just as epic here. The focus on her boots. Then rising up to her face--complete with bulletproof vest, shades, and GIANT GUN as she opens fire. YASSSS, MY QUEEN.

The human-looking part of the Rev-9 runs for Dani but Sarah shoots him off the bridge before he can get her, then drops the gun, switches to AN EVEN BIGGER GUN and fires at the skeleton who is doing that same inhuman back arch to lurch to its feet, and he goes flying in an explosion and lies still. Then she tosses THAT gun away, and goes to peer over the edge for the first half, where the Rev-9 is impaled and twitching and already regenerating. Then she tosses the grenade over the edge, says "I'll be back," in a badass monotone and walks away as Grace registers wtf just happened and pulls Dani away from the explosion, shielding her with her body.

Sarah pulls out YET ANOTHER GUN as the grenade explodes, and keeps on walking without breaking stride. FUCK YEAH.

"Who the fuck is that?" Dani rightly asks.

"I don't know," says Grace, who is hyperventilating and red in the face, and quite deservedly tired. "But we have to move!" And she runs to pick up Sarah's discarded gun and steals her SUV. I’M HOWLING.

Dani is like, "maybe we shouldn't steal this scary woman's car," and Grace is like, "gtfo or die," and they drive away. Sarah is about to dispatch the REV-9, but sees them driving and stalks off in a huff as the REV-9 re-congeals out of the fire.

(I honestly wonder what would have happened if Sarah had taken the time to dispatch the REV-9 ‘properly’ but then this movie would be very, very short, so I’ll give it a pass.)

Grace is dehydrated. Dani's have a breakdown. Grace breaks the news that her father is dead. "It needs physical contact to copy people and they don't survive." Is that an inherent part of the process?? I don't think so, because the T-1000 copied Sarah and she was fine, it's just because they usually KILL THEM AFTERWARDS, it's not a REQUIREMENT or anything. But I give Grace a pass for not going into the details because Dani is already traumatized enough. 

The skeleton stalks down the highway past a dude who looks SO CONFUSED while EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE and the fleshy-looking part starts walking in front of the skeleton and then they MERGE holy SHIT THAT'S CREEPY and there's STILL NO EXPRESSION on his face OH MY GOD.

Grace starts crashing (physically), which is bad because she's driving, so they almost crash for real. Grace faints, so Dani has to drive, oh, wait she can't, yep that ended badly. Dani stalks off to go to the police, while Grace is SO RED and can barely walk, until Grace explains that’s such a bad idea, and all the cops will die. She ends up putting Grace in the back seat and says she'll figure out the driving bit, FUCK YEAH. did I mention I love her?

Grace robs a pharmacy for her meds, much to Dani's surprise and chagrin. Grace collapses, so Dani has to grab the gun before anybody else can and finish the job to get them out. PLEASE NOTE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME DANI HAS HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW REAL AGENCY*, AND SHE MAKES THE CHOICE TO SIDE WITH GRACE INSTEAD OF LETTING THE AUTHORITIES TAKE HER AWAY. The assistant helps her haul Grace out, and Dani makes a split second decision to trust him which turns out to be justified, because he doesn't try to hurt them.

[[*ok, technically, she showed agency before when she made the decision not to go to the cops, but there’s a big difference between that scene and pulling a fucking gun on innocent people during a robbery. And she only has like a second to decide if she’s gonna do it or not, vs. the conscious deliberation in the previous scene. This is the moment where Dani’s all-in, the moment where there’s no going back.]]

Sarah Connor is waiting for them outside. FUCK YEAH. and she is PISSED. She takes Dani's gun -- "give me that before you hurt yourself," as Dani just fucking STARES.LEGEND.

Cut to them driving through town with Grace sprawled in the backseat with her head in Dani's lap as Sarah drives, and her sunglasses are reflected in the rearview mirror. Dani claims she's just Dani... a nobody, and Sarah says she's got to be somebody for them to send whatever Grace is to protect her. Then she asks for Dani's phone and tosses it out the window.I cannot believe Dani didn’t see that one coming, but she’s had a long day.

Cut to a hotel room, dropping ice cubes on Grace, like you do. "We should have done this in the bathtub," Dani complains. "Have you SEEN the bathtub?" Sarah retorts. Also: a fuck-ton of Lay's potato chips.

"I keep my cell phone in a chip bag. The foil blocks the GPS so they can't track me." CHIP BAG. THE PUN HERE.

"I'm wanted in a couple states," Sarah admits. "Fifty, actually." (she means US, I assume, I doubt she's a wanted felon in Mexico, but...).  

"Why ten bags?"

"Because I really like potato chips." I'M HOWLING.

(are there costcos in Mexico? Just saying.)

Dani grieves over how her father and brother will die unmourned and unburied and you can see the blankness on Sarah's face, how that's so far removed from anything she's ever known for decades. "Funerals don't help them and goodbyes don't help you. You just have to learn to live with it."

Which is a) the truest advice Sarah knows, and b) SO FUCKING SAD THAT IT'S COME TO THIS OH MY GOODDDDDDD.

Sarah pumping Grace with meds and just figuring it will all work out is so in character, and also a nice contrast to her first introduction to battlefield medicine under the bridge in T1. How far she’s come...

Time for a flashback from the future while Grace is unconscious and dreaming!!

God the future war scenes are so bleak and awful and barren and boring to me I can't believe people want a whole film like this, especially when we already know that humans win and the Commander can’t die, so there’s not a lot to milk for suspense.

The Rev-7 bursting out of another Rev-7 is so fucking CREEPY I can't even--

Hey, Grace is rescued and I love the medic (a black lady!) and Grace volunteers to be an augment! I legit thought she was going to say "tribute," lol.

...I don't understand how augmentation works, though. How can they have surgery so good and so clean when everything else is rubble? Are they literally cutting apart Terminators and wiring them into Grace? WHERE DO THEY GET THE PARTS?? I WANT TO KNOW and I don't think this movie's going to explain.

Sarah wakes up Grace by pointing a gun at her and gets disarmed, having locked Dani out of the room, but Grace lets her back in. Sarah's look is withering: "Sometimes, mommies and daddies have to have grown-up discussions." I'M HOWLING. EVERYTHING LINDA HAMILTON SAYS IN THIS MOVIE IS GOLD. Also, I like how neither Dani nor Grace denies this. Maybe they’re just too stunned? I know I would be. 

(also notice how Sarah’s not smoking?? I guess potato chips are the new cigarettes)

Sarah explains some things. Her expression when Grace says she's never heard of Skynet--"Good."--is PRICELESS.

"Where's your son now?" OW OW OW OW OH MY HEART

"I hunt Terminators." RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINNNNNNNNNE AAHHHHH "And I drink til I black out."

Oh, Sarah. I'm so sorry. so so so sorry.

I'll have more things to say about the digital trail later, so this is just a placeholder for now.

That moment where Sarah puts her shades on. Hot damn. Interview and openness OVER indeed.

Grace threatens Sarah, who is unimpressed. "Great! I drive." DRIVING AS A METAPHOR, Y'ALL.

"Legion...an AI built for cyber warfare."

I've seen people pissed that Skynet was erased and replaced by a similar-but-different AI and maybe it's because I love parallel universes and AUs so much, or maybe it's because the Terminator movies represent our relationship with and fears of technology, but I think this was a valid choice and I approve. Because, as Sarah points out, "Those assholes never learn." No. No, we don't.

Sarah pulls off her shades to admit she gets texts from someone she doesn't know, WHICH IS FURTHER PROOF THAT THE SUNGLASSES REPRESENT SHIELDING FROM EMOTIONS/VULNERABILITY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Grace hacking Sarah's phone -- "future shit"-- is hilarious, thank you very much, and I love that the PHONE CONTINUES TO BE A TRACKING DEVICE THROUGH ALL THREE FILMS BUT FOR ENTIRELY DIFFERENT REASONS. But won't the gov't/terminator/somebody find her through it now that it's out of the chip bag??? How is she getting texts if her phone is always in a chip bag? When is it safe for her to take it out??

Grace has tattoos on her body - "in case I can't remember shit" AHHAHAHHAHAHA, that's hilarious.

Sarah was on America's Most Wanted?? I bet she was. She should add that to her resume, lol.

Ohhh, that's clever that the same plot device gets them to both Carl and Sarah. I like it.

crossing the border is not this easy, but I don't think American audiences can handle that level of realism, and this isn't that kind of film, so... *shrugs*

The Rev-9 is in the data center and it's so creepy. All he has to do is plunge his hands into the cables, and... facial recognition software does the rest. (I don’t think it’s ever stated directly, but I headcanon that LEGION IS A ROGUE AI MEANT TO CONTROL PEOPLE BASED ON FACIAL RECOGNITION SOFTWARE, so it's totally in keeping with its nature.)

On the train, Sarah is eating potato chips. LOVE IT. I don't even like potato chips, per se, but it's a fun character detail and more culturally acceptable than smoking in films these days (the irony!)

flashback to bby!Grace seeing the plane crash and I'm all like I'VE SEEN THE TRAILER, I KNOW THAT'S CHEKHOV'S FLIGHT 3000 TO FORESHADOWING, more plane crashes are definitely coming.

Because the Terminator films reflect our own fears back on us, it's interesting to see how those fears have changed. Now the end of the world is more complex - technology suddenly going dead, then launching nukes and EMPs, THEN world war - fighting over food with humans WHILE being hunted by Legion. It's the same in outline and yet different from Skynet's quick and dirty nuclear war.

Sarah interjects to guess the leader of the Resistance is Dani's son, which is a) a reasonable guess under the circumstances and given the history of this franchise, and b) political commentary about what many Americans fear, namely non-white "Mexican" (as a catch-all term for anybody brown) immigrants and their children coming into their country. It also makes the inevitable subversion--that DANI is the leader, not some man--so much more pointed when it comes, as the franchise critiques ITSELF. still, I kinda wish they dealt with that here, instead of later, though. 

Sarah also makes the "Mother Mary" comparison, which is so funny given the obvious overtones to her own son (his initials are J.C.!) and lampshading the fact this is the first time in-universe that anyone has mentioned the parallels.

Now they're off the train and in a truck, with Dani's head in Grace's lap, yay parallels. Poor Sarah is probably wishing Kyle had been augmented, then maybe he could be there too (why is Michael Biehn not in this movie?? sob).

I'm not sure how the REV-9 just up and assumes they're going to Laredo just because that's where the train goes, especially since they then jump off the train for this... side-quest? What's up with that?? Does the train not go to the border?  

Oh, okay, this is where her uncle lives. Dani tries telling him the truth. It goes poorly. Grace slices a fly in half. Wow.

It's nice to see a black guy and an Asian dude on the border, but my relief lasts for ten seconds because they get sliced up by the Rev-9 posing as a woman of color, oi...

still creepy when he merges with the machine, and how does he know what he's looking for on the panopticon? can drones see faces at that distance? Can he?? I'm so confused.

Of course he tells the Border Patrol that Grace, Dani, and Sarah are members of a drug cartel and sets the authorities after them...

Of course there's a door underneath the wall. of course there is. Random dude goes first, which means he is dead meat. Oh, there was an ambush, but Dani makes the decision they're going to surrender, so I guess no one's dying here?

Sarah is lying to the authorities about being related to Grace, because of her medical condition. Good for her.

Grace senses the drone about to kill Dani and moves to save her! I guess it's going to take the Rev-9 a while to figure out she's not dead?

Dani is in detention and sounds like a crazy person trying to explain the truth. By the way, SETTING THIS SCENE AT THE BORDER CROSSING IS HELL OF A POLITICAL STATEMENT, FYI.

Grace is getting medical care, and they find her drugs. "Nice body search, fellas." Of course, they figure out she's an augment...is this going to influence the future in the same way that Cyberdyne’s discovery of the T1′s head and arm influenced Skynet??

Sarah and the other dude who got picked up with them have a plan. Good.  Let the ass-kicking begin.

[softnow]

paracosm [iii/?]

msr | college au | this chapter: t | words: 2k

she is a puzzle wrapped in high-waisted denim that he’s desperate to solve.

s/o to @o6666666 for continuing to love bb fox and dana as much as i do. also tagging @today-in-fic.

← last chapter. / ao3.

— — —

Fox Mulder is not—despite what some might think, judging by the company he keeps—hopeless with the ladies. He’s had his fair share of dates and kisses and, when the dates and the kissing have gone particularly well, warm bodies in his bed. Or his warm body in somebody else’s bed. Or, on one memorable and near-impossible occasion, the backseat of somebody else’s Volkswagen Beetle.

He even had Diana sophomore year—not his first girlfriend, but certainly his most serious. They had talked about grad school together and about the little apartment they’d rent above the private practice they would open someday. She had wanted to call it Fox & Fowley. He—infatuated but not dumb—had not. (This was, of course, before she took off for a semester abroad and never returned.)

All of this to say, he isn’t some sweaty preteen with his first crush.

And yet.

He can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Can barely focus in class. He’s up at seven—seven!—even on days he doesn’t have to be anywhere until noon, just so he can be at the library by eight.

“Dude,” Langly said last week after Mulder spent a good—oh—forty-five minutes talking about the clips Dana wore in her hair on Thursday. “You’ve got it bad.”

And he does. God, he does. He’s never had it so bad. He’s seen the inside of the library more in the last two weeks than he has in the last three years. He’s never been so late to so many classes so many times in a row. It’s just impossible—actually, factually impossible—to walk away from her when she’s leaning towards him on her elbows, whispering words like special relativity and time dilation and inertial frame of reference.

She’s a physics major—pre-med!—and she reads James Joyce and string theory for fun, and three days ago, she wore her hair in the smallest french braid he’s ever seen and how—how—is he supposed to walk away from that?

He lies awake at night and thinks about her. Every night. All night. About library Dana and her big, blue eyes and her freckles and her sweet little waist. His hands would fit so perfectly around that little waist, he’s certain. He needs to know. That, yes, but so much more.

Where is she from? The closest approximation he’s been able to get out of her is not here. Does she have brothers? Sisters? A boyfriend? God, he thinks he would die if she did. What’s her favorite food? Is she a morning person? A night person? Does she snore in her sleep? Does she kiss the same way she talks, deliberate and measured and smart? What is her damn last name?

It’s become a game now, he thinks. He hopes. He hopes it’s a game and that she’s playing it too, this keep away, this Dana, who are you? He asks her daily. She rebuffs him daily with her self-satisfied smirks, her little pink tongue darting out to greet her lips.

(He dreams about that tongue. He—more than dreams about that tongue. A few choice magazines are collecting dust in his bedroom because of that tongue.)

He’s even asked around, but nobody seems to know a freshman named Dana with a tiny nose and a dry wit and a berry-pink mouth. (God, the mouth.)

Frohike tells him to take it easy. “She’ll come around,” he says. But Frohike doesn’t understand. Mulder’s going crazy. All day, every day, twenty-four/seven, it’s Dana. Dana Dana Dana. His brain is a radio that only gets one station: all Dana, all the time. She is a puzzle wrapped in high-waisted denim that he’s desperate to solve.

Which is why, after two excruciatingly Dana-less days, he approaches her on Monday with a stack of books and a smile.

“Mulder,” she says cautiously, in much the same tone one might reserve for a child who has just wandered in with something unnerving, like a dead rat. Or a bomb. “What are you doing?”

He pushes the stack towards her. “Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that this was a library.”

“Uh-huh,” she says slowly. “I just didn’t think you—”

“What? Read?” He rests his elbows on the desk and shakes his head. “Maybe you’d know that if you’d have dinner with me. It’s half-price pizza at the bowling alley tonight. What’dya say?”

Dana sighs, then lifts her chin and holds out a hand.

“Card, please.”

He grins as he hands it over and watches her do her thing. Her script is neat and tiny as she copies his name and student number onto the first date card. She stamps it and moves on to the next. She’s on the third when she pauses, her brow knitting together. He tightens down on his smile and tries to look innocent as she sits back in her chair and crosses her arms.

“Mulder,” she says, and god, he could listen to her say his name all day, even exasperated like that. “What is this?”

He drums his fingers on the countertop. “What is what?”

She quirks an eyebrow at him, a wry expression that says she knows that he knows what she’s talking about. She holds up the first book and reads the cover.

“Iron Town by Dana Chamberlain.” Then the second: “Fundamentals of Ecology and Society by Dana Rankin.” Then the third, the fourth, the fifth: “Dana Graham. Dana Olson. Dana Earle. Is this your idea of cute?”

“My idea of cute is you in that sweater,” he says, because she’s wrapped in some fuzzy, grey, oversized number today that swallows her whole and presumably guards against the fan blowing cold air behind the desk. Then quickly, before she can protest, he continues: “This is my idea of practical. You won’t tell me your last name.” He shrugs. “Thought I’d test out some possibilities. How’d I do?”

She looks nonplussed, but as someone who has devoted nearly two whole weeks to studying her face, he feels relatively confident that the little tic at the corner of her mouth means she’s at least a little plussed.

“Are you serious?” she asks.

He nods. “About you? Absolutely.”

She flushes the prettiest pink and drops her gaze, toying with the ripped edge of the Dana Olson paperback.

“You don’t even know me,” she mumbles.

“And whose fault is that?” He leans in a little closer, trying to catch her eye. “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re not exactly an open book.”

He realizes this was the exact wrong thing to say a moment too late as her forehead wrinkles and her lips draw up into a tight pucker.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says, slamming all the Dana books back into a pile. “I didn’t realize I owed you my whole life story. Do you need my original birth certificate, or will a copy be enough?”

She starts to slide from her chair, but he reaches out and catches her arm. Her face is red, and she doesn’t look at him.

“Whoa,” he says. “Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t…it’s not a bad thing.”

She continues to glare at the countertop, and he takes a chance. He swipes his thumb across the inside of her wrist once, back and forth.

“I like you, Dana,” he says, “but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If I’ve been too pushy… I’m sorry, okay? Tell me to go, and I’ll go. You don’t owe me anything.”

She settles back into her seat and sniffs. For a brief, horrible second, he thinks he’s made her cry. But when she finally looks up, her eyes are dry and clear.

“Scully,” she says.

He cocks his head. “Sorry?”

“My last name is Scully.”

The relief, the giddiness that floods him nearly knocks him off his feet. This is what winning the lottery must feel like. Dana (Scully!) brushes a little curl behind her ear and gives him an uncertain smile.

“Scully,” he says, liking the way it rolls around on his tongue. “Dana Scully.”

She nods. “Yes.”

“You wanna get some lunch, Dana Scully? My treat. You can tell me absolutely nothing about yourself. You don’t even have to talk. We can sit in total silence and pretend we’ve never met.”

She narrows her eyes at him but they’re playful, maybe even a little impish.

“Don’t push your luck,” she says.

But when he comes back half an hour later with turkey sandwiches and potato chips and two bottles of lemonade, she doesn’t kick him out. She also doesn’t kick him out when he follows her outside to the picnic tables behind the library, and she continues to not kick him out as she picks one in the shade of a big oak tree. He watches (with what he hopes isn’t slack-jawed amazement) as she pulls her fuzzy sweater over her head to reveal a little blue t-shirt and pale, smooth arms, and still, she doesn’t kick him out.

They sit on the same side of the table and watch other students lounge in the grass, toss frisbees, eat their own lunches. A warm September breeze ruffles Mulder’s hair, and occasionally, Dana’s knee brushes his thigh. He tries not to choke at the contact, electric even through his jeans.

True to his word, they don’t talk, but he eats slower than ever, savoring the nerve-wracking feeling of her next to him, the occasional touch of her elbow as she reaches for her drink. It turns out they don’t really need to speak anyway. She teaches him things even in total silence.

For example: when she finishes her chips, she steals the rest of his. She doesn’t ask permission; she simply watches him from the corner of her eye as she dips her fingers into the bag. He files food thief away in his mental rolodex of Dana facts and nudges the bag closer to her. (She also doesn’t say thank you, but the way she licks salt from her fingertips is thanks enough.)

When all the food is gone, they linger a little while longer, sipping the last of their lemonade. Beside him, she is serene, her eyes heavy-lidded, her face tipped up into the breeze. He wants to ask what she’s thinking about, but he bites his tongue. He promised her a silent lunch. He needs her to know he means what he says.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity or maybe only a minute, the black plastic Casio on her left wrist beeps. Lunchtime over.

Dana stands and does a little stretch. Her t-shirt rides up, baring an inch of milky white stomach, and Mulder is suddenly, painfully aware of the blood in his veins. He forces himself to look away. The last thing he needs is to ruin whatever modicum of progress he’s made this afternoon by ogling her belly.

He stares off into the middle distance until she begins gathering her things. She drapes her sweater over her arm and balls up her trash. After a moment’s hesitation, she takes his trash, too, and dumps it all in the nearest garbage can. Then she wanders back and hovers at the edge of the table, touching the corner with her fingertips.

“Um,” she says. “Okay. Well…”

Her cheeks are pink—though from what, he’s not sure.

“Thank you for lunch,” he says, and she flushes darker.

“You bought it.”

He just shrugs. “You know what I mean.”

She licks her bottom lip, then draws it between her teeth. He tries—really, he does—not to stare.

“I need to…” She gestures vaguely over her shoulder.

“Yeah,” he says, not rising. As much as he wants to follow her back inside and whisper to her for the rest of the afternoon, something tells him to take her earlier advice and not push his extraordinary luck any further.

“Okay.” She raps her knuckles lightly on the table and holds his gaze for a moment longer, then heads for the doors.

The sway of her hips is enchanting, and he can’t help himself.

“Hey, Dana Scully,” he calls.

She pauses and turns around, eyebrow quirked. “Yeah?”

“Okay if I come see you tomorrow?”

She purses her lips (against a smile, he thinks) and begins walking backwards.

“I dunno,” she says with a little shrug. “Guess you’ll have to ask me then.”