#multiple ones again so feel free to chop up

[onriyuview]

irresistible

genre: smut, 18+ mdni

wc: 2.2k

summary: kitchen cockwarming/sex with riku

cw: established relationship, cockwarming, unprotected pinv sex (wrap it up pls), pet names (baby, angel, honey, wife), riku’s a little mean, free-use(?), oral (f), choking but it's the back of reader's neck, creampie, multiple orgasms. let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: in honor of riku’s return, here’s a little something to celebrate! i have many, many riku yearners in my life and in my inbox too… i see u… i hear u… i stand with u…

“one diced tomato… a handful of chopped basil… a hundred and twenty-five milliliters of heavy cream… what the fuck is a milliliter?” you mumble to yourself as you hold up the measuring cup to your eye level.

it’s rare when both you and your boyfriend riku have a shared day off, and this one happens to fall on a weekend where you decide to cook a homemade meal instead of ordering takeout.

you’re so focused on pouring the thick liquid into the glass that when you feel a pair of hands wrap around your front and a warm face press into the crook of your neck, you gasp in surprise.

“smells good in here, baby,” riku mutters into your skin, sending slight shivers down your spine.

the sizzling of the chicken and the boiling of the pasta water brings you back to your senses, only distracted for a quick second before recomposing yourself and setting the cup down.

“sir, there are two open flames and glass objects around!” you try to convey your concern, but your voice wavers as riku starts to press featherlight kisses across the expanse of your neck and shoulders.

all of a sudden, you’re hyperaware of his soft bulge pressing into your back as he continues his ministrations on your skin, his hands moving up and down your sides, squeezing here and there.

you can feel his teeth graze where his lips trail, making your breath hitch in your throat and your eyes flutter shut as you grip onto the edge of the counter.

“r-riku,” you whisper, trying to be as firm as you can while your doting boyfriend is loving on you.

“what’s wrong, angel? am i distracting you? you can multitask, can’t you?” he teases, starting to nip ever so slightly at your neck.

just then, your phone rings, signaling the pasta had finished boiling.

you’re snapped out of your daze as you pull away from riku, turning off one of the burners and grabbing a kitchen towel to protect your hands from the pot as you swiftly move to drain the pasta.

“what’s the next step? let me help you,” your boyfriend offers, an innocent smile painting his face as you turn to him.

“nuh uh, you’re up to no good and i just know it,” you laugh back at him. “just stay there and stop distracting me or i’ll ruin our dinner and we’ll both be upset.”

“fine, fine,” riku mutters, taking his place back behind you again.

you don’t mention it, but you can feel how hard he’s grown now, the bulge pressed against your back feeling heavier and more assertive.

you flip the chicken with a pair of tongs as you feel him subtly grinding against you.

“what are you doing?” you ask, turning around and raising a brow at him.

“have i ever told you how cute you look in these shorts?” he asks, fingers dancing at the lace trim of the tiny lounge shorts you’re sporting.

“mm, mhm,” you hum mindlessly, pouring the heavy cream you set aside earlier into the pan with the chicken.

you can feel his hands trail up under your shirt to caress your stomach, further distracting you although he said he wouldn’t.

you do your best to ignore him, carrying on with your cooking, though his hands feel a little too good against you right now.

“could just slide these to the side and slip it in, y’know?”

a shiver runs down your spine, your eyes squeezing shut.

“baby, i’m literally cooking right now,” you whine. “why are you doing this?”

“i mean,” he hesitates. “is that something that should stop us?” he asks, his voice lower and slightly raspier, hands still trailing along your figure.

“do you want me to burn this chicken or wh-” you’re cut off by a harsh thrust into your lower back, his clothed member rubbing against you just right.

“fuck the chicken,” riku says breathily, a chuckle leaving his parted lips. you hear the rustling of fabric. “or better yet, you keep doing what you’re doing,” you feel your shorts and panties being pulled to the side. “and let me do this.”

a gasp leaves the both of you as he slips himself between your folds, easing himself into you in one swift motion.

“riku, are you crazy?!” you ask, the end of your question fading into a moan as you really feel him settle inside of you, your eyes rolling back at the feeling of being so full.

“no,” he exhales. “but you are for wearing these skimpy ass shorts around the house and not letting me touch you because you’re cooking. don’t even realize how fucking hot you look acting like my little wife, hmm?”

his words have you clenching around him, his hips stuttering slightly before you feel a slap at your outer thigh.

“aren’t you supposed to be finishing up dinner, honey?” he asks, nipping at your ear.

“f-fine,” you huff. “but just stay still,” you pout at him, silently begging him with your eyes.

you move quickly, as best as you can while riku’s bottomed out in you, to finish up cooking your dinner.

he keeps his spot next to your ear, teasing you whenever he notices your hands not chopping or stirring or feeling you pulse around him. he knows, then, that your mind is drifting instead of focusing on cooking.

whether it was a rhetorical question about the recipe or a shallow thrust from him, it always resulted in him pretending he was innocent, either blurting out something like “sorry, baby, you just feel so good around me” as a sweet smile graced his lips or burying his face into the crook of your neck, lightly scraping his teeth at the skin.

the next 10 minutes are a blur as you wrap up the last few touches, only needing to plate everything up now.

“did so good f’me, baby,” he finally praises you, seeing the results of your cooking in front of him. “i think you deserve a reward, yeah?”

you can barely process his sentence before he’s pulling himself out of you, untying your apron and turning your face to swallow your moans through a heated and messy kiss.

he spins you around, pulling the apron up and over your head before tugging your shorts and underwear down, his lips never leaving yours.

“worked so hard cooking for us, but i need a taste of you, baby,” he mumbles before hoisting you up on the counter, spreading your legs with his hands as he kneels down, littering your thighs with hungry kisses.

you lean your head back against the cabinet door, senses overwhelmed with thoughts of just rikurikuriku.

“you’re so wet, angel,” his breath hits your exposed core as he inches closer, kissing everywhere but where you need him most, his fingers pulling you apart and watching your arousal drip onto the countertop.

“please, don’t tease,” you mutter, hands finding their way into his wavy hair.

“since you asked so nicely, i’ll give you whatever you want, baby,” he reassures, delving into your folds with a long swipe from your entrance up to your clit before wrapping his plush lips around the bud, suckling on it with fervor.

your moans are anything but quiet as riku continues his ministrations on you, your fingers tugging at the strands that fall between them.

his hands reach up to play with your chest under your shirt, fingers tweaking at your nipples and groping at the soft flesh.

“taste so damn good, baby. fuck,” he moans into your pussy, his tongue finding its way to your entrance and shallowly fucking it.

his right hand leaves you, moving down to stroke himself as he fully makes out with your cunt, his groans of pleasure sending vibrations all throughout your body.

your eyes flutter open, whines leaving your pouty lips as you realize he’s touching himself.

“want it,” you whine, bucking your hips up into his face, your hands holding the back of his head to steady him in place as you fuck yourself on his tongue.

you feel yourself getting closer with every passing moment, the boy between your legs never letting up on the pressure he’s applying.

“please,” you whisper, your breathing picking up as you start to pant from his actions.

a flash of white appears behind your eyes as they roll back, the pleasure too overwhelming for you as you cum around his tongue. he laps every last drop up, holding apart your thighs that tighten around his head.

he puts both hands on your hips, helping himself stand up in front of you.

“did so good for me, angel,” he’s leaning forward, lips pressing against yours and making you taste yourself. your moans are muffled against his lips before he swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, pulling away and resting his forehead against yours.

“think you can give me another one, baby?” he asks softly before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

your head feels light, failing to form a coherent thought as you nod mindlessly.

“need words, pretty,” he mutters, peering into your eyes.

“you just gave me a mind-blowing orgasm and you expect me to act normal right now?” you ask in disbelief, not being able to keep the smile from tugging at the corners of your lips.

he returns the action along with a flush of deep red painted across his cheeks.

“just fuck me already, riku,” you finally answer, pushing yourself off the counter and pulling him by his face to kiss him again.

you pull off your shirt, throwing it off to the side before spinning yourself around and laying yourself across the counter and perking your ass out to him, turning your head to gauge his reaction.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, baby,” he groans, a hand immediately coming up to grip at the flesh before landing a light smack across it.

he takes himself in his other hand, tilting his hips to drag the head of his cock across your still-leaking folds. “still so wet..” he says, mostly to himself.

he finally latches himself onto your entrance, both of your breaths hitching before he slips in, pushing his hips forward until he’s flush against your backside and he’s completely bottomed out in you once more.

“taking me so fucking well,” riku sighs. “like you’re made just for me.” you almost miss it, your mind reeling at the feeling of being filled completely, subconsciously clenching around him from his praise.

he quickly finds his pace, his hands not leaving your body once. he trails a hand up your spine, making you shiver as it reaches the back of your neck, and applies pressure there, his thrusts sharpening just the slightest.

“f-fuck!” you wheeze out, not being able to keep your eyes open as they squeeze shut from the feeling of his tip hitting that gummy spot just right. “riku!” you cry out, your walls clamping down around him.

“so… tight,” riku groans, the sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing through the kitchen as he continues to press against the same spot that has you melting in his hold.

“my baby’s so good to me… letting me use her how i like,” his voice is muffled as his head drops to the junction between your neck and shoulder, his thrusts not letting up.

from the weight on the back of your neck to the dizzying pace he sets as he chases his high, your mind grows fuzzy and your thoughts are back to strings of rikurikuriku.

your body reacts before you can even register it in your mind, the tight band coiling and snapping as your walls flutter uncontrollably around his length.

“fuck, ‘m gonna fill you up,” his moans are turning into whines. “gonna pump you so full of my cum,” he feels like he’s gonna cry. “you’d like that wouldn’t you— fuck!” his hips still as he cums inside of you, his breath ragged.

he helps the both of you ride out your highs, slowly dragging his length against your coated walls before finally pulling out.

“oh shit,” he mutters, his eyes immediately falling to where his arousal spills out of you, his jaw dropping slightly as you whine at the feeling of it dribbling down your thighs.

he pulls his sweats back up and reaches over to a lower cabinet, pulling the towel off of it to help clean you up.

“are you okay?” he asks, pressing kisses all across the expanse of your back as his hands run along your skin soothingly.

“mm, mhm,” you hum, your voice hoarser than when your boyfriend first joined you in the kitchen.

“sorry i was a little rough, angel,” he whispers.

“it’s okay, i liked it,” you chuckle, turning back around to kiss him once more. “but can we eat dinner now? im starving,” you pout, watching him as he crouches down to pick up your clothes from the floor.

“come on, i’ll do the dishes to make up for distracting you,” riku smiles sweetly as he redresses you and kisses you on the forehead one last time before reaching for two plates from the cabinet to dish up your dinner.

a/n: thank you to my babies @rikupid and @hazyhae for beta reading as always mwah ♡

tags: @rikupid @be-my-sunrise @lovetaroandtaemin ♡

[jarofstyles]

Strawberry Sunrise 2

Hello my angels, here is part two of gymrry! 💪🏼 I hope you guys enjoy him

Part One

Check out our Patreon with 200+ exclusive writings and early access

Warnings- mentions of violence, stalking, sexism, misogyny, self defense training

WC- 3.3k

Harry was exhausted physically, but mentally he felt more awake than he’d ever been after a long day of sessions. 

Sitting at the smoothie bar, he sipped on a PB Choc shake that Y/N had ready for him after he was done with his last session of the day. He tried to pay her, but she’d insisted yet again that he was helping her out so the least she could do was give him a free drink. Harry was a tad bit pathetic in how much her genuine smile made his heart race, but instead he nodded and let her finish up her closing duties. He’d offered to help but her eyes had narrowed and she had pointed at his drink, so he decided to leave it be.

Besides, it gave him time to observe her. 

The ponytail was slightly falling now, a few pieces of hair around her face and at the nape of her neck as she wiped down counters. Her tank top with the gym name on it was slightly loose on the torso but clung to her chest. Yoga pants were her choice of bottom, which, fuck- he had to avert his eyes from those considering he had to get up close with her soon. He had to teach her so he wasn’t about to have a stiffy when he showed her how to throw a punch. As attracted to her as he was, these sessions were to help her feel safe. He’d rather have an arm chopped off than be another one of those men that she felt creeped around her. 

It was no secret that Y/N was attractive. She was probably the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, if he was being honest with himself. It was discussed between staff and other trainers about how beautiful she was and how her personality was only elevating the physical beauty she had, because the girl was sweet as pie. She was the type that remembered everyone’s birthday and made sure they got a free protein cookie or gym shirt, and put a few decorations in the break room even in the short time she had been here. Y/N was someone a lot of women felt comfortable enough to go to when someone made them uncomfortable, using her power and access to the private security guard (Who unfortunately left before her) to have them escorted out. It had made it all the more upsetting to Harry to know she had felt defenseless over the guy waiting outside the night before. 

Unfortunately he knew it was a reality for all women. He had a sister, a mother, multiple women as friends and it infuriated him to know that her experience wasn’t an uncommon one. It had made him more than proud of her, actually, when she asked him to help her. To take your personal security and safety seriously was a big deal, even if you shouldn’t need it in the first place. The hope was she’d never need to use them, but he was relieved that she trusted him enough to ask him to teach her. 

The doors at the front were locked so no one could get in, Y/N giving them a few tugs to make sure it stuck before she turned on her heels to face him. Clapping her hands together, she nearly bounced over to him with a spring on her step that he envied, grabbing her water bottle she’d left beside him. “Okay! Let’s get started. I promise not to keep you here for a long time, 20 minutes should be fine- but I realized last night I’d probably break my hand if I threw a punch.”

Yeah, that was exactly what they’d want to avoid. 

“We don’t have to rush unless you’ve got to get out of here. All that’s waiting for me at home is a fish tank and some tea.” He assured her, leaving his bag at the smoothie counter as they made their way towards the training area. 

“Oh- I thought you had a girlfriend?” She asked curiously, undoing her ponytail. Hair fell down to her shoulders momentarily as she ran her fingers through the roots, fluffing it out before smoothing her hair back to fasten into a new ponytail. “That girl that came in a few times, pretty red hair?”

“Oh, no.” Harry shook his head. She’d noticed that? It was interesting that she had. “She’s a friend’s girlfriend. Amanda and I go jogging sometimes but she and her girlfriend are my mates. She’s a chef, though, so she brings me stuff to test out since she specializes in health foods.” He could see it seeming much different to her though. “I’m single, chronically.” The need to clarify was there, maybe seeming a little desperate but hey- apparently he’d not made that clear enough.

“She was super nice and pretty, so I assumed. But I made an ass out of myself with that, didn’t I?” Her laugh was lighthearted but he swore he saw her smile get a bit bigger as she raised her arms up to stretch them over her head. “You’ve got fish?” 

“No, I don’t think so. It’s natural to assume things sometimes. But as for the fish- I do.” He nodded, feeling a little happier himself. Y/N noticed that he had a visitor and seemed happy it wasn’t his girlfriend. “It’s a hobby, I’ve got a saltwater tank. I’m not home enough for a dog, even though I really would like one. Fish are beautiful, relatively easy if you make sure you do the cycling upkeep, and don’t need to be brought out for walks. Besides, I don’t think they miss me too much when m’gone all day.” 

“Oh, god. I get it. I’ve got a cat and she’s a menace when I get home. It’s like I’d been off to war, she likes her snuggles but gets mad at me so she grumbles when she sits on my lap.” Her laugh rang through the gym. A beautiful sound he’d love to hear more of. “Fish are cool though! I watch some of those guys who build ponds on YouTube and all of that when I can’t sleep, makes me wish I could have one in my place. I’ve just got a balcony though.” 

“I’ve been saving for a house, so I get it. I rent small because I don’t need a ton of space for just me.” It was clean and tidy, upgraded with the food appliances and a comfy bed, but Harry wasn’t home all that often. Even if sometimes he wished he was. There wasn’t much to come home to. Maybe he’d be more inclined to get the house search on if he had a partner or something, but as of right now he was happy to stay where he was. “Uh, I meant to ask what you know but you said you were worried about breaking your hand during a punch. Let me see how you make a fist, please.”

In all reality he could spend hours just chatting with her, but if he didn’t try and get to the point they’d be there all night. As nice as it sounded to him, he doubted she wanted that. 

“God- don’t judge me too harshly please. I’ve always been a lover, not a fighter.” Y/N curled her hand up into a fist which she could see immediately wasn’t correct by the look on his face. “I appreciate the effort but I can totally see you wincing right now.”

“Sorry! M’sorry, I just… here.” With cautious fingers, he helped her unfurl her fingers. “You don’t want your thumb inside. It’s far more likely to break that way.” He began arranging the fingers as they needed to be. “You’re gonna want t’have your thumb on the outside… like this.” He murmured, the warmth of his hand a contrast to her cooler one. “Between your first and the second knuckles right here…” his touch was gentle as he adjusted her smaller fingers in the fist. “Near your index and middle. There.” Releasing her hand, he showed her on his own hands. “See? Like this.”

“Okay- I see. I always forget if it’s in or out and then I go with it because it feels like it would protect the thumb but, I’ll remember now.” She sighed, mirroring it with her second hand. “Where do I hit?”

“Easy, Tiger.” Harry laughed, letting his hands fall down. “You’re going to want to remember that the first thing you want to try is to get away first. That’s always the first option, escape and run the hell off. Make noise, get attention from other people. There’s power in making a scene.” From self defense classes he’d taught before he decided to take the shorter form and give it to her now. “You don’t know what people have. I don’t want to scare you, Y/N, but people are unpredictable. The most important thing is your safety, so getting away is the most ideal thing. But if you can’t, you want to make sure you have a good stance so they have less of a chance in grabbing you or knocking you over.” 

Planting both feet on the ground, he left his knees unlocked and kept his arms raised close to his body. “Shoulder width apart, arms up at your sides. Try it.” He stood next to her to show her, gently using his foot to nudge her legs a little further apart as he moved towards the front. “Put your dominant side leg out more in front of you. The worst thing to do is to have your knees locked because it’ll be easier to knock you over.” Rocking on his legs he demonstrated the right way to move, which she followed. There had been no doubt she’d catch on quickly, but he was still impressed. “Are you following along? This is just a crash course and we can meet again to go over more specifics but even just a little bit of this stuff can make or break you.” 

“I am. I really am interested in knowing it all, so keep going please.” She encouraged, eyes bright and determined. It was ridiculously cute in his opinion. “So what if someone grabs your arms?” 

 “If someone grabs you? You pull down. There’s more momentum that way and you’re likely to break free versus if you go up- may I touch you?” The permission was granted with a nod, his hands gripping firmly on to her forearms. “Try moving up, and then down.” 

Y/N followed instructions, immediately seeing the difference in it as she got her arms freed from his grip on the down pull. “Okay, I see. I’ve always meant to go to a self defense class but I’ve put it off… I’m really glad you were there last night. I was nervous to ask because I didn’t want to be overreacting but… I wasn’t sure.” A shrug of the shoulders followed her words. “I didn’t think the guy was gonna hurt me or anything but I didn’t know what he wanted. Why he was staying after I already said no.”

“No.” Harry said gruffly. “No. You don’t give them the benefit of the doubt, Y/N. The first priority is always to protect yourself. Even if you find it embarrassing after and no harm was meant, it’s always better to be safe rather than sorry. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. You should do it.” The idea of her not asking because she worried about how it would come off made his chest hurt. 

“Listen, I think that our intuition is the best gift we have. It’s there to protect us, down to the most biological level. So if you felt the need to have protection it’s because your body knew it needed it. Okay?” His voice softened up at the end. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that, but I’ve seen what happens when women aren’t taken seriously. When guys think they’re overthinking or crazy. My sister…” he paused. “She was hurt because people told her she was overreacting, so she doubted her intuition. She’s okay now, but I’ve never forgotten about how she asked for help and people assumed that she just didn’t need it.” 

Harry didn’t talk about that period a lot. In all honesty, it surprised him that he’d even brought it up, but Y/N had gotten to that soft spot in his defenses and reminded him that he could be the one to help her avoid that sort of pain that he knew his sister had to go through.    

“I’m so sorry something happened to your sister, Harry.” Y/N whispered. “I promise I’ll listen to you and take your advice. That’s why I asked you. Something felt wrong and it was because there was no reason for him to be there waiting for me like that, and your car was in the side lot so he couldn’t see it… he thought I was alone.” Swallowing the lump in her throat at the thoughts of what If, she wrapped her arms around herself to self-soothe. “I know I watched a lot of true crime a couple years back and I used to think I was just being paranoid, but it was a wake up call. It wasn’t the first time I’ve dealt with a guy not taking no for an answer and thinking persistence was something that would wear me down, but it was the first time I felt that level of unsafe. My stomach hurt just looking out there.” 

Harry could only imagine. As much as it tugged on his heart to grab her and hug her body to his chest, he didn’t have that right. Not yet, anyways. “Christ, I know. He gave me the creeps too, if I’m being honest. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you overreacted and I think you’re incredibly brave to ask for my help. It’s exactly what you should do. You need to protect yourself at every turn, even if it’s exhausting.” 

“I know. I do, I did for a while but I didn’t think about it happening while working here. A lot of people ignore me most of the time which is fine, some flirt, but no one’s made me feel outright uncomfortable or unsafe before at work. I used to have one coworker back at a store I worked at that would be a bit too persistent but he left me alone after a while. I realize now that I should have said something back then.” 

“Y/N, I don’t want you to ridicule yourself for your past mistakes or actions in general. You made it here, you’re safe and you made the best decisions you could for the world that’s taught you that. But now, I want to teach you how to make sure you can get yourself out of any situation that could come up.” He felt sick at the idea of her having to use these skills but even for his own state of mind, it would help him feel better. 

“Okay.” She nodded, giving him her eyes. It felt like a hit to his chest, stealing his breath.  “Did you want to do more of this, then? I don’t want to keep you for too long because I know if I’m tired you must be exhausted. Can we plan to meet up again?” Harry was pretty sure his exhaustion had to be on his face for her to say it, but he had to agree. Today had been an unusually filled day, so next time he hoped to be able to do more. 

“That sounds good. We can text about it some more if you want to make a little schedule, but if you’d be comfortable you can meet me out at a park or something. I’ve got a nice one near my building if you want to do something in daylight. I think we’ve both got Wednesday’s off?” It was a wonder for him how luck had been on his side with coinciding days off, but he watched her nod and the ponytail she’d pulled back a few moments ago bouncing along with the motion. It was difficult for him not to be gross and think about holding said ponytail again, but he reminded himself that this wasn’t for his personal wants. She was trusting him with teaching her so he had to keep it in his pants. 

“Yeah! I’d love to do that.” She agreed easily. “Can I see your fish tank, though? Not trying to invite myself to your place, even though I kinda am. I just think it’s really cool that you have one.”

“Course, I don’t mind at all.” His chest felt lighter at her own willingness to go past just a coworker sort of thing and initiating getting to know more about him. “I’ll stay later and work on emails at the smoothie bar for the rest of the week then, make sure I’m here to walk you out. I’ll see if I’ve got some other self defense supplies too. I ordered some a while ago t’keep in my car and I know they accidentally sent me an extra taser.” They didn’t. He’d ordered it last night. 

“Oh, really? That would be so lovely of you to let me use it. I’ll pay you back for it.” Grabbing her water bottle from the side of the mats, she turned and surprised the hell out of him by wrapping her arms around his neck for a hug. It took him a second to reciprocate, blinking a few times in shock as he planted his palm over her back. He hoped to god he smelled decent and that the fact he’d had to use the soap the gym provided instead of his own today had been enough.

“Thank you, H. I really appreciate it. I love working here, but you’re so nice to me it’s crazy. I know you don’t have to do any of this for me but you’re going above and beyond and I.. I can’t think of a way to thank you.”

Harry prayed again that she couldn’t hear how hard his heart was beating- or at least thought it had something to do with the training as she rested her cheek against his chest and sort of snuggled in. It was by far the best hug he had ever had in his life. If he could have one of these a day, the stress level would most definitely be brought down. He’d almost bet on it. The feeling in his tummy swirled as he chuckled to disguise just how much he liked holding her, giving a gentle squeeze to her body. It felt so right to have her body pressed against his own, like she was meant to be there. “You’re lovely, Y/N. Course I’d do it for you. You’re a real gem, y’know that? It’s rare to meet someone with genuine kindness like you’ve shown everyone here.” It was crucial that she knew that he saw it. “As for a way to thank me?” 

He had a lot of ideas on that, but he settled on the more savory and far less inappropriate answer. Y/N was his little crush, but he wasn’t sure she had a clue. “All I want is for you t’keep yourself safe, come to me or call if you feel uncomfortable… and maybe a few extra shakes.”  He’d take a PB Choc or Strawberry Sunrise she made any day. 

“Mmm… You’ve got yourself a deal.” Y/N’s face was bright despite the tired eyes she had, pulling away from the hug. Immediately he mourned the warmth and plush of her body. If he could pull her back into the embrace without it being weird, he would. A new addiction. “But for now, you’ll act like the fierce protector you are and walk me to my car, yeah?”

“Anything for you, pet. Let’s go. Need to feed the fish.”

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddiesongfics.

You, Me & A Christmas Tree

December Prompt: You, Me And A Christmas Tree by The Steve Carlson Band | Word Count: 1725 | Rating: E | CW: Sexual Content, Blow Job, Grinding | Tags: Future Fic, Long Term Relationship, Park Ranger Eddie Finds His Perfect Tree, He Already Has His Perfect Partner in Steve

Inspiration song here on Spotify.

Eddie looks over at Steve, only lit by the glow of the dashboard lights. It's impulsive, leaving before dawn, hitting the road with Steve behind the wheel. It makes Eddie feel twenty-one and free, out on the road together. Falling in love. Starting this thing he plans to hold onto for life.

This morning, before the sun has even risen, they've hopped in the car to go get a tree at a farm up north in Tacoma that he's only heard of by word of mouth. It's thrilling. 

"You sure you'll be okay cutting down a tree?" Steve asks, and that's a fair question. They could absolutely drive seven hours to this tree farm, only for Eddie to get cold feet looking at the gorgeous, living, breathing trees he's spent his life admiring and caring for, with pleasure.

He loves the trees. 

"Maybe," Eddie admits.

"I'll take maybe," Steve answers, and Eddie smiles. It's not about the tree. It's about the adventure. He knows that, and so does Steve.

He can't do it. 

They have a perfectly good artificial tree at home. He can't kill this one just to make their living room pretty for a month.

Eddie runs his hand along the needles of the tree, feeling them between his fingers, and leans in to get a good whiff of that earthy, pine scent.

"You can't do it, can you?" Steve asks, squeezing both of Eddie's shoulders from behind.

"No, but look how pretty they are," Eddie says, looking out over the rows and rows of trees. Park rangers take care of trees, trying to keep them alive for generations. They don't chop them down for sport, and he's just realized he's most definitely a tree-arian? Treean?

Whatever it's called, he's an advocate for trees, a friend of them. 

"They are," Steve interrupts his train of thought, and Eddie looks back at the trees.

So, maybe they've just driven seven hours to admire trees. They live amongst the trees. A trek to see them isn't exactly necessary. But these are different trees than the ones in their backyard. Eddie's not mad they came all this way to see them, and he knows Steve well enough by now to know that he's not mad either.

A cheerful worker comes over, trying to help when he sees that they are just standing there, and Steve is honest, telling him that while they can't cut down a tree, that they are gorgeous. 

The worker looks left, then right, like he might be preparing to offer them a drug deal, before dropping his voice to a whisper, "Sixteen miles north. Living trees. You get one, return it, and get it again next year as it grows."

Eddie's sure the smile that splits across his face is wide and bright. 

Steve digs in his back pocket, getting out his wallet, fishing out a fifty dollar bill. A tip instead of bribe this time, but still offered up to get Eddie out of a tight spot, and Eddie is delighted.

Sixteen miles.

There are rows and rows of trees in pots, and Eddie wants one. He wants all of them. But he also recognizes that hauling a tree back and forth across state lines seven hours each way, twice each year, at Christmas, seems more than impractical. Eddie tells the owner that he's a park ranger, that he loves trees, that he has chosen to spend his whole life surrounded by them, and just couldn't cut one down. He tells him that he loves this new model. To keep the trees alive, growing, to be used for multiple years by the same family.

But he also explains that they just live too far away for this to be a realistic option. He's scared it'll be too hard on the tree being hauled back and forth that far, year after year.

He still loves the idea, though. Maybe there's an adopt-a-tree program? Like with whales or bears? He can have a tree, but not have the tree?

The owner takes pity on Eddie, and spends over an hour giving him all the trade secrets to keeping a potted tree alive year-round at home, and sells it to him outright for far less than the cost of renting it each year.

So, now they own a Christmas tree. It's small, maybe more like a Christmas bush this year, but it's a tree. It's gonna grow, and when it's too big for the house, Eddie thinks he'll transplant it into the yard. He knows people. They could do it. 

And then they could have it for decades to come, and that delights Eddie.

Settling back into the car, Eddie smiles over at Steve, "Okay, sweetheart. It's just you, me and Christmas tree. Let's go home."

They only make it as far as Portland before Eddie hollers, "Stop, look there!" 

Steve brakes gently. Eddie knows he's not surprised by Eddie shouting that he wants to stop somewhere along the road.

"Where am I looking?" Steve asks, awaiting further directions. 

"Three o'clock," Eddie says, "Look at all those roses!"

Someone is selling garlands made of fresh roses at a roadside stand, and Eddie wants some for their brand new tree.

"Oh, so roses you can kill without remorse," Steve banters, but turns the car into the parking lot.

"Yep. Fuck them flowers," Eddie declares, teasing as he hops out, heading over to pick out several of the white ones.

He's never had a tree with roses on it before. Never even knew that was an option. He asks the vendor a thousand questions on how to keep it alive, and they are definitely gonna need a spray bottle to mist it. 

Then they head south in their weighed down, sleighbound car. 

At home, Eddie takes great care of the potted tree, and the rose garlands, following all the instructions. He's gonna keep them both alive if it's the last thing he does. Especially the tree. The garlands will only last a few weeks even if he does it all perfectly, but the tree? The tree could outlive him if he plays his cards right.

After everything is settled in, Eddie starts stripping his clothes. He needs a shower, and then he's gonna show Steve just how thankful he was for this impromptu adventure. Another in their ever-growing history. 

They are made to be on the road together. It's where Eddie feels at home, a map in hand, Steve at his side, in search of adventure.

And trees.

Eddie finds Steve sprawled out on the bed dozing, and Eddie needs no other invitation. He slots his body on top of Steve's, pressing their lips together. When he pulls back, he says, up close and personal, looking into Steve's eyes, "Thanks for the adventure."

"You say when and where, and I'm always there," Steve answers, rubbing his hands up and down Eddie's bare skin. It's nowhere near cold in their house, but it makes Eddie shiver, nevertheless. 

He's won the lottery several times over with Steve Harrington. He knows that. 

And now he's gonna show him how grateful he is for that.

Eddie slides down Steve's body, settling between his thighs.

"Big plans, huh?" Steve asks, his voice trailing off into a giggle. 

"The biggest," he banters back, cupping Steve's cock through his underwear, then moving the material aside so he can reach bare skin.

Eddie slides his mouth down, taking Steve all the way in, resting his open palm against Steve's hairy belly as he bobs his head. 

"Jesus," Steve says, and Eddie smiles as best he can with Steve's dick in his mouth. That he can still be Steve's undoing all these years in, thrills him. He likes the power of it, it's more of a turn on than anything else.

Steve loves him.

And he loves Steve.

He wants to fuck him. He wants to suck his cock. He wants to ride him. No, he wants Steve to ride him. He wants Steve to settle across his thighs, and sink down, bottoming out, moving together in Steve's favorite position. Eddie wants to look into Steve's eyes and be that connected, always.

Eddie grinds against Steve's calf, working himself in the same rhythm as he's sliding up and down Steve's cock, mouth wide, Steve's hand in his hair. Petting, not guiding, just enjoying the ride.

There's no doubt Eddie's gonna get off on this alone, it's just whether or not he beats Steve to the punch. He better bring in the big guns.

He wraps his fist around the base of Steve's cock, and works his hand with his mouth in tandem, twisting upwards on every stroke.

That's all it takes. It's all it ever takes. Eddie can read him like an open book, and could get him off blindfolded. He wouldn't want to, he'd miss seeing Steve coming undone. But he could.

Steve tenses, his dick hardening further against Eddie's tongue, and Eddie is more than accustomed to what comes next: Steve, against his tongue, down his throat. Eddie keeps bobbing, keeps grinding, and finally Eddie comes against Steve's leg, not to mention surely on the comforter, as he swallows. Steve's definitely gonna have thoughts about him coming on the bedspread, but he couldn't help it. Steve in his mouth, the taste, the feel, is always irresistible. 

He licks at the head of Steve's cock, and Steve jumps, oversensitive, but Eddie wants to get it all. Waste not, want not.

And he laughs at the thought.

"Laugh it up, you're doing the laundry," Steve says, but he's smiling, relaxed and rooted to the spot.

Eddie smiles and crawls back up Steve's body, settling in and letting Steve hold him close, as Eddie tucks his face into Steve's neck.

"I will. Later. Nap first," Eddie wheedles, and Steve nods against his cheek, wrapping his arms around Eddie tighter, pulling him into his body as close as possible. Eddie loves it. Loves him. Has loved him for fifteen years and a handful of change.

And he doesn't see that changing anytime soon.

"That tree is gonna outlive us, you know?" Steve asks, and Eddie smiles against Steve's skin.

It definitely should, and when it does, it'll just be part of their love story.

Deeper than the holler, higher than the redwoods growing up on their hill.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiesongfics to follow along with the holiday song cheer! 🎵

Notes: This feels like it's at least loosely set in the Take the Money and Run universe. I didn't go back and re-read that fic to make sure everything fits, but them already living up in that corner of California felt like the most likely reason they'd ever be in Tacoma or Portland, lol.

And it's not a holiday song, but the last line is also a play on lyrics from the song "Deeper Than the Holler" by Randy Travis.

[howlingday]

What if Jaune’s sisters are very, and I mean very overprotective toward Jaune when they heard he used to have a crush on Weiss and how she treated him back in Beacon?

Jaune: Hey, Mom? Have you seen Weiss?

Mama Arc: No, I can't say I have.

Jaune: Hm... Is Dad around?

Mama Arc: He's taking a nap, dear, but he should be awake in about an hour.

Papa Arc: (Walks in) Phew! All finished chopping up that firewood for ya, honey~! Kinda weird asking me to do it this early in spring, but I could use the work! Oh, howdy, Jaune!

Jaune: Hey, Dad. So... HAS ANYONE SEEN WEISS?

--------------------------------------------------

Weiss: Feel free to stop me at any time.

The former heiress and current belle of Jaune Arc sat on her stump, looking over her nails to ensure they hadn't been scuffed or dirtied by the assault continuously made on her since her being brought into the deep woods by the Arc farm home. Thus far, only a bug had managed to slip past her defenses to bite her arm, an action that made her regret not taking repellent with her.

However, she was hardly at fault as five of Jaune's seven sisters had been on the attack for the young woman since dragging her out here. Last night, Jaune had explained how they met with Weiss chiming in that Jaune had awkwardly failed on multiple occasions to woo her, earning a coo of adoration from Jaune's prepubescent youngest sister, a chiding swipe of a finger from his mother, and a uproarious laughter from his father. However, his five sisters, the ones now gathering strength to attack her for the umpteenth time, glared at Weiss as though she were in the wrong for turning him down.

One sister took the first leap before being slammed into the dirt by a glyph. A second tried coming in low, like some feral beast, only to slam face-first into another glyph like a brick wall. The third and fourth, as twins are wont to do, attempted a pincer attack, only to be launched into one another again. That was four, which meant five was...

Arc Sister: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Weiss managed to leap away, leaving the sister to unintentionally slam herself into the fist of a giant, frozen cestus.

Weiss: I'm going back to the house. If you intend to stop attacking me like a bunch of... maniacs, then I'd be happy to walk with you.

The sisters did little to respond besides groan various sounds of discontent. The ice queen shrugged and turned away.

Weiss: I thought so.

[dr-spectre]

As someone who's been in multiple fandom circles and calls themselves a Splatoon fan, I've seen a lot of focus and discussion on "THE LORE!!" and "CANON!!!" and to be honest with you... it's getting really tiring and I think people are just WAY TOO obsessed with what a wiki or an intern at Nintendo says rather than forming their own perspective on events and coming to their own unique conclusions.

Now, I wanna say, if talking about lore and discussing which elements are canon or not makes you happy and you love talking about that, then that's perfectly okay. It's fine. It's not for ME personally because my focus on Splatoon is the gameplay, music and the storytelling chops of each Hero Mode.

Story >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Canon for me any day of the week i do not care.

Because, to get away from Splatoon for a second, for my Sonic fans out there, you remember when Sega and the people behind the show Sonic Prime said that it was canon to the mainline Sonic timeline? And if you said otherwise you were technically wrong because "oh Sega said this, so it MUST be true!"

........But then everyone said that Sonic Prime cannot be canon to the mainline Sonic timeline because it has a fuck ton of inconsistencies? Yeah.... funny. Basically, don't put a lot of focus into "what actually happened" and "oh this is what the multi billion dollar corporation said!" because there's always gonna be one guy out there that goes "um this information kinda fucking damages the story in a severe way." (And sometimes that one guy is me.... hehehehe....)

I could obviously talk about.... you know.... Hypno Callie again for the 50th trillion time.... (and i will)..... This bitch.... I wanna love you girlie i really fucking do but Nintendo and millions of people make it hard to....

Nintendo set up Callie's villain arc decently in Splatoon 1 with the Splatfest dialogue, the Squid Sister stories and the Sunken Scrolls, yet they ultimately damaged the progression of the arc by saying "nah fuck u she got kidnapped and brainwashed, removing all of her memories and free will because fuck telling a good story with satisfying set up and pay off that allows for character growth. Fundamentals of storytelling? What are those?" And it also destroyed Callie as a character by reducing her to an object that the player "must save from da evil Octavioooo" and "oh look at her! She put the stupid brainwashing shades onnn againnn!! such a dumb fucking moron dumbass piece of shit right guys?!? lmaoooooooooo!! explore the dangers of addiction and how you need to seriously change your life and be surrounded by those you love in order to change bad habits?? Themes?? PFFTTT! NAWWW! THAT'S LAMEEEE!! It's Callie! No one cares about Callie!! She's stupiddd!!!"

(I talked about Callie in a tumblr comment section one time and I got made fun of for by a guy way older than me. I love humanity.)

It also ruined DJ Octavio's character too because, if what Nintendo said is true about what he did then he cannot be redeemed in Splatoon 3. He cannot go back on the shit he's done. But they try to redeem him out of nowhere and now he's all chill with the New Squidbeak Splatoon and appeared in the Grand Fest.... Yet what he did to Callie which Nintendo loves to push is truly TRULY unredeemable and if that's the case then welp.... I call that bad writing, straight up. It's bad writing.

I really hate it when something happens in a story and you perceive it in a certain way where you feel like it elevates the events, but then the company behind the story chooses to pick the worst outcomes possible just because? And everyone rolls with it just cause? Ugh...

Lesson of today is, don't fucking listen obsessively to what a company says and suck it up. Consume media and come to your own conclusions on what happened. As long as you have tangible evidence to back up your claims you can make any interpretation you want to, whatever makes you feel happy bestie!

[tsp-narrator-ask]

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME:

I MADE A VIDEO GAME!

also the shrimp is DEAD. Get over it, I’m not just a Stanley parable fan.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!”

You may ask…

I have decided to REBRAND this account, I know I know, not the best thing to do.

But since this is the only place I have a following (no one looks at my main account) I wish to share my NEW Interests in life/what I’ve been up to!

IM NOW A GAME DEV!!!

(Sorta-)

you see I’m only starting out, but I MAKE VIDEO GAMES NOW! I’m going into games and toy design for college instead of animation

(to be frank, I just didn’t have the chops for a full time animation interest, as much as it’s my passion, I also LOVE interactive media and physical media. SO VIDEO GAME CREATION IT IS!!

Starting now I’ll be posting my coding stuff on this account! The re-brand will be slow going, changing the look of my page soon.

If you like horror games with dumb ways to die/ sarcastic responses when you click random things then try out

DELIRIOUS DUMP

(SOON TO BE PUT UP on my itch.io page)

(LINK TO PAGE: https://artist-from-hell.itch.io/ )

It’s a point and click multiple ending HORROR GAME depending on what you click/what items you use!

I worked on/am credited for most of the art assets and help with story development!

You could also try my FIRST GAME I ever made

(Currently up on my page:

RAPUNZELL’S FATE

a text based choose your own adventure game with sprite are scattered between section/endings. This game is a multiple ending game with at LEAST 10 different endings!

(Once again FREE to play but accepting donations)

(Sadly College DOESN’T pay for itself, and I have two jobs just to do this.)

That’s NOT ALL!! I’ll also be posting about the OTHER game stuff I’ve been making!

I’m currently working on my own stand alone game “THE SEARCH (Into The Mythos)”

(based off of a “Call Of Cthulhu” Campaign I’ve been playing with my friends.)

This game will be solely coded by me, art direction/sprite work also by me, story telling aspects will be a mix of my own re-writes, and original scripting from my friends @shadow-commet and (the other who prefers not to be named)

Feel free to stick around or follow me to check out what I’ve got in store!

(Feel free to ask questions if any of this is confusing/sincere)

SINCERELY: Juniper ✨

[severelystrangewriter]

Cooking Together (Flufftober 2023 Day 10)

Pairing: taiju shiba x reader

WC: 734

Warnings: none

Summary: what it’s like to cook with taiju

Note: i feel like cooking with a guy who owns multiple restaurants would be a nightmare not even gonna hold you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cooking together with Taiju Shiba was an impossible task. And when I say impossible, I mean it. He had a very strict method when it came to being in the kitchen, and honestly, you felt that you were just in the way more times than not when you tried to help. He wouldn’t even let you chop the vegetables or boil the water without hovering over you in some way. Like, you understood that the guy ran multiple restaurants, but come on.

“Babe, I know what I’m doing!” You finally snapped one evening as you cut some carrots, “Trust me.”

“I do trust you!” Taiju argued, “...But your knife technique could use a little work.”

You pointed the blade at him jokingly, “Do you really wanna say that to the person holding the knife?”

Taiju looked completely unfazed, “Will you just let me show you?”

You sighed heavily but handed the knife over and stepped to the side in order to give him free rein on the cutting board. Crossing your arms, you watched as he took your place. He shot you a thankful smile and got started right away.

“You’re supposed to cut them lengthwise first,” Taiju instructed, “Then dice them like this.”

You nodded your head, trying really hard to find the will to care. But this was important to him, so you bit back your sarcastic remark. He finished dicing the rest of the carrots and then moved on to the onions. You figured you weren’t going to get to chop up vegetables anytime soon.

With another sigh you picked up the peeler from the counter and held it up, “Can I at least peel the potatoes?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and you swore that if he said no you would scream, but then Taiju nodded his head.

“That should be fine.”

With a breath of relief, you got to work right away. But after the first potato, your boyfriend was by your side again.

“You know, there’s a trick to peeling them more smoothly,” He commented casually.

“Is there now?” You grumbled with a huff.

“Yeah, here, let me-”

“Touch my potatoes and I’ll throw one at your head,” You threatened, causing him to retract his hand. “Just tell me how to do it.”

“Well for one, you need to fix how you’re holding the potato,” Taiju explained.

“And just how am I holding it wrong?” You exclaimed in exasperation.

“You need to firmly grasp it.”

“I’m grasping it as firmly as I can!” You protested, “It’s too big to get a proper grip!” At Taiju’s smirk, you squinted, realizing how that sounded out of context. Shaking your head, you said, “Don’t you dare laugh, I’m getting annoyed.”

“You’re cute,” He replied with a slight chuckle, throwing you off guard.

Feeling your face heat up at the compliment, you shook your head again and pointed the peeler at him this time, “Flattery will get you nowhere. I’m peeling these potatoes whether you like it or not! You just worry about dicing them.”

He put his hands up defensively, “Alright, alright.”

And so you both went back to working on your respective tasks. The silence that fell over the kitchen was actually peaceful for once. When you finished peeling, you decided that there was not much else for you to do but watch him take over. He quickly got the ingredients in the pot and while that was cooking he went ahead and started washing some of the dirty utensils that were used. You took the opportunity to come up behind him and wrap your arms around his middle.

“Thanks for letting me help. Even if it was reluctant,” You told him, squishing your cheek against his back.

“I wouldn’t say it was reluctant,” Taiju scoffed, drying his hands and turning in your hold.

Now facing him, you gave your boyfriend a blank stare, “You literally took over chopping all of the vegetables.”

“You peeled the potatoes,” He pointed out.

“Only after I threatened you!” You argued. Then you groaned and buried your face into his chest, “You’re lucky I love you.”

One of Taiju’s hands came to rest on the back of your head and the other on your back to hold you closer. You smiled when you felt him press a soft kiss to the top of your head in response as he murmured, “That I am.”

[ryttu3k]

72-hour check-in: so far, so good! Medical details beneath the cut, nothing too TMI.

Still a fair bit of pain, more when moving positions - lying down on my back is comfortable, sitting up straight is fine, sitting up at a recline is... iffy, and standing and walking is mostly fine. Going from one to the other hurts like a bitch, especially going from lying down to standing up.

I mean, it feels like what moving with multiple abdominal stab wounds feels like. Which. Is what I have. So.

The actual incision is healing extremely nicely, not a lot of pain there unless I twist around, which I'm. Trying not to do. Most of the pain is internal and is presumably from the fact that they had to a) basically chop up my uterus in order to keep the cervix and uterosacral ligament so things don't fall out, b) slice up the fuckhuge broad ligament to get everything out, as well as c) trimming around the ovaries, including the ligaments and blood vessels connecting it to the uterus.

Like. All those bits are connected. The whole-ass broad ligament is connected to the pelvis and had to be cut away, so yes, it hurts rather a lot XD;;

Otherwise: appetite is fine. Digestive function hasn't... fully returned, so it'll be an interesting next few days as that, uh, works through. They pump gas into your abdomen to see what they're doing and that causes a bit of pain over the first few days (including in your shoulders), but that's largely faded. So it's mostly just the sharpish internal pain, worse on moving, plus digestive issues. Also more fatigue than usual, which is to be expected given the 'healing from multiple abdominal stab wounds' thing.

On the plus side: was able to come home after just an overnight stay, which is so vastly preferable to more time in a public ward that I cannot overstate it. Now have vastly reduced chance of uterine cancer or endometrial cancer. Have quite reduced chance of ovarian cancer (removing the tubes drops your risk drastically). Still have the same risk I had as before for cervical cancer, which was 'very little' due to the whole never having sex thing. And the absolute 100% biggest plus side is that I will never again have another period in my life. I'm fucking free!!

[adultswim2021]

Southies: “Mutiny” | February 18, 2010 (online) | Pilot

“Full” version released online February 25th.

“Final” version released online February 26th (or thereabouts)

Aired on television January 19, 2011 @ 4AM

Oh, Wowthies, it’s Southies. Part of the Burger King Big, Über, Network Sampling, an event in which people were invited to go online, watch some pilots for potential television programs (with two different ones going head-to-head each round), vote on your favorites, and reflect on the deliciousness of Burger King restaurant’s many available food products. Sorta like the Night of 1000 Pilots, but far less successful. 

Southies was about a crass couple in South Philly Boston (note: I am so mad at myself that I wrote Philly that I'm leaving the evidence that I edited my post up. what the HELL). They have a daughter, who we don’t see until the last third of the episode. New neighbors move in, who are considerably less crass than them. In fact, they are so squeaky clean that they haven’t even had children. There’s no visible proof that they’ve even had sex with each other!! They clash slightly, personality-wise, though everyone is trying their best to make a good impression. When loutish ____ (I watched this literally two and a half times and can’t remember the main guy’s name, which instead of going back to find out I’m going to let stand as a testament to… something.) finds out the new neighbor is a doctor for the New England Patriots, he starts seeing him as a source for free tickets to football games. They throw a party, try to impress them, fail, and that’s the end. 

While I firmly consider this to be a dud, it’s not horrible. But: I didn’t really laugh. The show has fleeting moments of extreme comedy; like when a man is seen in the beginning of the show driving recklessly while ranting on his phone to a sports radio guy (I think! AGAIN IT’S ALL SO HAZY I’M SORRY). This scene ends with him crashing into a pedestrian, with a splash of blood, which is barely noticed by the main characters of the show. The rest of the show is mostly just character-based comedy. The characters are pretty colorful and the design of the show is, while objectively ugly, pretty specific. By that I mean they are admirably defined. I really do think that the bare-minimum a cartoon should be is “specific”. You know? Also, the sound design is really great, and is maybe the best thing about the show. 

One thing that’s notable about the show is that it’s beset with MULTIPLE VERSIONS, which can perhaps feel daunting to a prospective viewer looking for a definitive experience. I watched this two-and-a-half times, and had to tap out on my third watch. The version I’d recommend is the version that actually aired on television at 4AM in 2011. It’s in 16:9, has tell-tale signs of television broadcast (TV rating, onscreen bug, etc), and looks and sounds as good as it ought to. Here’s a rundown of the versions floating around: 

Version one, which is basically just a short clip, actually. There’s a brief opening (an abbreviated version of the opening sequence), and a little “next time, on Southies” sting showing our main characters downing beers on their neighbors porch. The clip in question is an early scene, where the main guy talks to his neighbor outside while movers bring in their new neighbors boxes. It’s the scene where the guy pees on the van. When I clicked on the Burger King site to check out the shows, THIS is what was offered, initially. 

Version two, which runs over 13 minutes and resembles the final version, except for the recurring abbreviated opening and a “next time, on Southies” clip occurring every couple minutes. This gives the impression that at one point they intended to chop up this pilot into shorter segments and turn them into webisodes. This seems like a bad plan, honestly, because all the scenes flow together pretty well. It feels like they tried to retrofit an 11 minute pilot into the webisode format and not the other way around. This is the “longest” version, but most of it is because of the repeated opening and closing sequences.

Version three, which is the “final” version and the one that aired on TV, and actually feels like an episode of a TV show. Easily the definitive version of the show.

Cosmetic differences between each version include a discrepancy in aspect ratios. I compared the aired version with the web’s “final” version and saw that the web version was cropped to roughly 4:3. Rougher versions look like there might be additional squishing going on, as well, but I was rapidly losing interest to truly confirm it. Could also be whoever ripped them putting weight on that scale. 

There ARE some content differences between the “full” version and the “final” version. The scene where the guy runs someone down with his car does not end in a gory spectacle, for example, and the street shots showing local color are also less extreme (the final version shows a nude vagrant, and an uncouth woman breastfeeding a baby, the “full” version doesn’t even have jokes that I recall). Also the “full” version had more censorship, at least from the few minutes of it that I could stomach. A guy says “asshole” that goes unbleeped in the other version, but is bleeped in the “full” version. The full version is full of crap if you ask me.

SPECIAL THANK YOU TO KON FOR SENDING ME ALL OF THE VERSIONS!!! YOU KICK ASS DUDE

[thepodcasthoard]

The Podcast Hoard Episode 1 Transcript

Thank you for tuning into The Podcast Hoard, the podcast about podcasts. I’m your resident dragon, Sydney.

Since this is a brand new podcast, I figured I’d share the process I went through to create it. I have a podcast running already with Long Live Bat Art, so I have a tiny bit of experience. The first thing I did was look at the royalty free music site purple planet so I could have three different tunes for an intro, outro, and underlying my voice so it’s not just awkwardly quiet when I take a pause. I can’t give an exact reason I chose each one, other than I wanted my underlying one to be very understated and subtle and my intro and outro to be fun. I go by vibes mostly.

I started with the ‘upbeat’ category and looked for my intro first because that will be the first thing people will hear when they decide to listen to an episode. I wanted it to be the one where I have the best attention span and don’t just fall back to the feeling of ‘sure, good enough for now.’ Even with Long Live Bat Art, I started like that. I want each of my projects to be as good as I can make them at the moment, so I devote a lot of thought and attention to each aspect. This is based on an absolute ton of research before Long Live Bat Art, but nothing teaches better than experience.

I listen to the full track for each song with headphones on, just to make sure I don’t miss a section I like that might be buried in the middle when the first few seconds don’t grab me. I use headphones because that’s how the vast majority of people listen to podcasts. It gives me a better listener experience. Because the intro and outro music have to be very short, I kept an ear out for interesting and fitting snippets as I went along.

But as I looked for my intro music, I kept an ear out for my other two desired tracks. If something sounded interesting for one of the others, I noted the name and kept going. After I had the ones I wanted marked, I narrowed the choices to nine tracks.

I can’t exactly explain how I decided I liked the music. Like I said, I go based on vibes. It either struck me as one that would work or that wouldn’t. I couldn’t tell you what instruments or chords did the job- I’m not a music person. But some options definitely gave the vibe of ‘happy-go-lucky sitcom or cartoon,’ and that’s just not what I’m looking for with this project.

So the nine finalists for the intro were either tracks that I thought I could split into separate ones for the intro and outro, or ones that I thought worked better for just the intro.

After I had the nine, I listened to each one again, noting what sections I liked the best with time stamps. I did not go this in-depth with Long Live Bat Art, I just chose tracks I liked and chopped them up. But since I liked more options this go around, and I was keeping track of what I did so I could describe the process for you, I decided to go all in.

Before I went further, I decided to see what snippet I liked best for the intro. I figured it’d be easier to build the music around the final intro so it felt cohesive rather than trying to mix and match. So I opened a new file for GarageBand, which is what I use for editing since it came with my computer. I hear really good things about Audacity, I just haven’t tried it myself.

I highly, highly believe in not doing work multiple times. So I make a template for everything. Going from a brand-new file, I first swipe away the extra bits I don’t need- the library of music and sounds on the left and what I’ll call the compressor on the bottom. Then, since I won’t need the beats, I change it at the top to purely track time. I turn off the count in and the metronome, and voila, a good blank canvas for podcasts.

I have seven tracks to start with, all voice tracks. I just make one and duplicate settings. Again, don’t do the same work multiple times. I name them each, in order from top to bottom- intro, intro music, body, underlying music, underlying music full, outro, and outro music. And please, for the love of everything you hold dear, name your tracks. It takes seconds now and saves hours of confusion later.

To give myself a good way to test music, I recorded my trailer and edited it to have a better sense of what the final product will be.

As far as recording, basically I have a few practices I always keep in mind. One- I keep a bottle of water next to me and drink a few sips right before I hit record. When I hit record, I leave a few beats of silence to get the room sound. Then I start to talk. If I mess up, I stop, take a few beats, and start the whole sentence over. I don’t care if there’s fifteen semicolons in your sentence. Start the sentence over. This helps because you’re not trying to splice between words when you edit. Trust me, I made that mistake early on in Long Live Bat Art. I remember physically punching the air in triumph when I finished editing that mistake. It took me about an hour of editing when it would have been just a few seconds if I had just said the sentence again. This is just one of the many things experience has taught me.

Take your time and breathe when you record. Try to make it sound conversational, too. I’m a former theater kid so I’m used to saying lines by myself and making it sound like I’m talking to someone in the room with me, but it does take some practice. You’ll mess up, and that’s what editing is for.

As far as editing itself, I do it in passes. First, I save the first take audio. Then I duplicate that file and edit on the duplicate. I do that so that I have the raw file for outtakes later, as well as have the base for if I ever have a catastrophic failure. Say it with me- make backups of your backups.

I listen with headphones and take out the major problems- weird silences, re-takes of sentences, the time I had to wait to let an ambulance pass by outside. Major stuff. After all the fat is trimmed, I duplicate the file again and go for a detail edit on the duplicate. This is when I really listen for the small stuff- clicks that happen when you just start talking, the sharp swallows, and the hundredths of seconds of silence that sound weird when you listen to it in whole. You’ll notice a ton of the odd stuff humans do when they talk once you start editing.

I have a command that’s a keyboard shortcut that is an absolute lifesaver. I memorized the basic one- ‘split at playhead,’ which is command-T, but I made my own for a key part- ‘delete and move’. Basically, if you just delete a bad take, there’s a gap in the audio file. To prevent the hassle of moving everything to the playhead again and not overlapping it or leaving a tiny gap of pure silence which will sound weird, delete and move will delete the unwanted section and move whatever is to the right of the deleted part perfectly to the playhead. Oh, and if you don’t know what ‘the playhead’ is, it’s just the vertical line that indicates where you are in the recording. This will be your guide as to where you mark your cuts. That shortcut for me is command forward slash, but I think that was purely from some guide I found that suggested that particular combination of keys. Make it whatever you want if you choose to use it.

After the audio was nice and clean, I played with intro music. Basically, I had each option on its own track, then muted and highlighted tracks as necessary to see what fit best. Again, no rhyme or reason here, just vibes. I decided on a track called Open Road for my intro music, specifically about seven seconds of it.

I know from my own experience to keep the intro and outro music extremely short. Don’t think so much as a theme song to sing along to, think more musical motif to introduce a scene or character. It’s a little hard to explain, but basically you want it to be recognizable but not annoying. Think of the podcasts you yourself listen to and time their musical segments. My bet is that they’re under twenty seconds.

For Long Live Bat Art, my intro and outro music are about seventeen seconds each. My underlying music goes throughout each speaking section, and even that’s chopped up and adjusted to avoid the louder parts of the track. And my transition music is about five seconds. Give the vibe and move on, don’t make people want to fast-forward.

After I decided on my intro music, I listened to the energy category on purple planet for my outro. I went through the same exact process. I listened to the full track through headphones, keeping an ear out for any sections I can isolate for the snippet I’ll need for the outro. After I decided on a few possibilities, I cut up the audio to the parts I liked, tested them the same way I did the intro music, and chose about eight seconds of a track called Ecstasy. Then it was just a simple matter of going to the gentle category and choosing one. Weirdly, I liked the first one I picked enough- a track called Tranquility- that I finalized it.

After I chose the music, it was time to start adjusting the volume. In GarageBand, there’s something called ‘automation.’ It’s not what it sounds like, no AI is involved. Basically, you choose to show automation from the ‘Mix’ menu from the toolbar, and that will bring up a faded yellow horizontal line through each track you have. As I mentioned before, I have seven. The speaking tracks, which would be intro, body, and outro, I make the automation all the way at the top. That makes it as loud as I can get it because I tend to be a somewhat quiet talker. That’s most natural for me, instead of speaking louder on recording. You might need a different level, so I recommend recording a test audio and playing with what you like best.

After the speaking track settings are done, I move to the intro and outro music tracks. I fade in and fade out of those so that the cuts aren’t as obvious and abrupt. So I start at the beginning of the music and click outside of the used segment of the track so it makes a point, click just inside the used segment of the track so it makes another point, and adjust. The outside point gets brought to the bottom and the inside point gets brought to the level I like the music at, which is about halfway up. I tend to play a bit with the fade and how steep the graduation is, just to see what sounds good to me. Then I do the same for the end of the music.

After the intro and outro music is done, I adjust the underlying music. That’s easier- I just chop off the very end where the music fades out, and then keep the volume very low but still noticeable. I listen to my speaking track along with this music track to make sure I can just barely hear it under my voice and it doesn’t overpower me. Even when I pause in talking, I can barely hear it.

Then it’s time to make the rest of what will become my template useful for the future. I have a set intro and outro for this show, so I recorded that in the template, along with the positioning of the music. Then I select the empty body track, move the playhead to just after the intro, hit the headphone icon so the body track is the only one I hear, and boom, I’m ready to record every episode.

I save the project as a file called ‘template,’ and whenever I sit down to record a new episode I duplicate it, name the new file the episode number, and I can jump into recording without doing every single automation thing again. This makes it not only way easier for me when I produce it, but each episode will sound consistent to the listener.

You may have noticed that I have two tracks for the underlying music, one called ‘underlying music in full’. This is so that I have a clean copy of the audio I can copy and paste into the real underlying music track so that nothing is weirdly skipped. When I finalize each individual episode, I’ll just delete the ‘underlying music in full’ track and export.

All in all, this whole process took me not even a day. I spent a night listening to the music choices, then the next day I spent a few hours recording the trailer, editing it, testing the music, and finalizing the template. This is probably because I have a small amount of experience choosing music and editing it in Garage Band, along with past trial and error to know that a template is an absolute must for me.

I know when I made my very first template, it took me so much longer. Everything takes experience and time, and the only way to learn is to do it. You don’t get better at things by learning about the theory, you get better by doing the things badly at first.

Thanks for listening to this episode! Feel free to drop by my Tumblr The Podcast Hoard if you have any suggestions you want to throw my way. Otherwise- happy listening, and I’ll see you in two weeks.

[distrxst]

she doesn't remember the night before -- just that she got unlucky. a wolf running free, feeling the wind on his fur and the grass beneath claws, forgetting he'd never be free so easy. the hunters had set up enough traps and -- bullets had been shot. he doesn't remember much from dragging himself through the brambles and grass, tired and bleeding.

then, it all went dark.

when he awakes, he expects to be on the floor of his house -- often the case. finding himself on the floor, poorly bandaged, led to lick his wounds in a cold cabin alone. it is what it is. instead, he finds himself somewhere warm. his bed. did he drag himself here? no, the floor wasn't dried with blood like it often was. in fact, there was no blood to be found at all. he looks down, finding bandages where bullet wounds had been. they were too good to be his own (akaza couldn't bandage himself correctly if his life depended on it, and it often did.)

eyes shift as footsteps approach -- someone was in his house. terror fills his body, ready to fight (even at the risk of harming himself again), but the figure that appear isn't danger. blue eyes widen.

" it's you. " hunter mine, lamb mine. " you -- what are you ... what happened last night? " / hey

tired . it's an understatement , as giyuu makes his rounds through the house for what feels like the hundredth time in mere hours . it's all he can do to stay awake and on guard , adrenaline having worn off as the hours passed . he's lucky they've made it this long ; the state he found akaza in was dreadful , the blood , the bullet wounds ,, the exposed insides wrought by other hunters - it was a wonder he managed to get him here alive , with how the man was bleeding . a stain formed on the wooden floors from the incident near the entrance to the home , one giyuu has been working to scrub away .

he's not a nurse by any means , sure there are things about the bandage wraps that shinobu would cringe at , but the wounds are dressed well enough ( you learn well enough after your shotgun misfires one too many times ) . it's enough to keep him calm as usual , for him to move away from akaza - to move his hand and trust that his heart will keep beating as he walks away - but giyuu manages . and thus , begins the cycle . check akaza , scrub the floor , check akaza , chop wood , start fire , check akaza , clean , check akaza . it's a sequence , a repeating action that helps keep his head clear as he tries not to think too hard on the state he found akaza in . as giyuu tries to bite back the thought that he was shot . multiple times . that she could've bled out and died .

no time for that ,, not when he's warming water in a bucket to soak a rag , before making his way down the hall , back to his priority . hobbling , his cast occasionally catching a lifted board , water sloshing with each step .he pokes his head around the corner , and its admittedly a surprise when he finds eyes peering back . awake ? awake already ? a surprise , but a welcome one . better awake than dead . he lifts the bucket , making his way back to the stool set up beside akaza's bed , nightstand littered with gauze and the works , rubbing alcohol with a missing lid . he'd find that later .

" yeah , me . how are you feeling ? " he rolls up his sleeves before dipping the rag into the bucket and wringing it out the best he can . there's a bit of relief in his movements . not fully ( akaza was still shot , he could've died ) , but he's alive . awake . talking . it works to calm him . he's grateful for the thrumming pulse beneath his fingers . for some reason .

" you got pretty beat up . counted three bullet holes . you had me .. worried . "

worried had been an understatement .

brows knit and giyuu gets to work at scrubbing unbandaged skin , to clean speckles of dried blood from the expanse of flesh . he doesn't need to do this , it's unnecessary - especially now that akaza is awake , but he'd like for akaza to at least feel clean ( cared for - a lamb will do it's best to be more than fodder ) , and it gives giyuu something to preoccupy him while they talk , better than sitting still and staring , worrying . maybe it's for the best , to distract him from why he's worried .

" you need to be careful when you're out there . more hunters are going missing . they go out in groups . set up more traps . they'll kill you if you're not smart . "

[adamgant]

Paleo Banana Bread

Paleo Banana Bread https://ift.tt/BtCc5hV Sharing a delicious and healthy recipe for Paleo banana bread! This post is updated with new pics and a refresh. Hi friends! How are you? I hope you had an amazing weekend! We were in Phoenix for a dance competition. P has had basketball games, so the past couple of competitions have just been Liv and myself. It’s been a treat to spend some time together and in the hotel each night, we had takeout picnic and watched multiple episodes of Friends. It was lovely! It’s back to the swing around here this week, and I wanted to share a delicious and healthy recipe with ya. This is one of my staples and I love it when we have bananas that are on their last leg. I think a lot of us went through a banana bread heyday in 2020, and I kind of overdid it. Now that I’ve stopped making it so frequently, it’s *special* again, and a lovely little treat. (fave spring dress is here!) Paleo Banana Bread With its moist texture, natural sweetness, and nutty flavor, this paleo banana bread is sure to become a staple in your kitchen. Enjoy it for breakfast, as a snack, or dessert, knowing it’s made with wholesome ingredients that nourish your body. I hope you love the recipe as much as we do! Leaving an old pic so my Pinterest friends know they’re at the right spot! When I originally made this, I typed out the recipe on my phone —  it was very on the fly. I thought it would be good but maybe not quite blogworthy. Totally surprised myself with this one, as gluten-free baking can be tough. It’s been a staple all this time! This grain-free banana bread is extremely moist, decadent and made the house smell amazing. I love this recipe because it’s nutrient-dense and delicious, but also because it takes less than 20 minutes to throw together. Once it’s ready to pull from the oven, about 40 minutes of baking time, let it cool completely on a wire rack. It’s been a great snack, ands good crumbled onto plain yogurt with fresh fruit and a drizzle of honey. You can also add chocolate chips to the recipe, and/or smear a warm piece of the bread with peanut butter or almond butter – mmm! Have ripe bananas on your counter? You’ve got to give this recipe a try! Print Grain-Free Banana Bread Print Recipe 5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars 2 Stars 1 Star No reviews Ingredients 2 mashed bananas 1/2 cup almond milk 1/2 cup coconut oil 2 eggs 1 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp vanilla extract 1/4 tsp nutmeg 2 heaping tablespoons honey 2 cups almond meal 1/4 tsp baking soda 1/2 cup walnut pieces Cook Mode Prevent your screen from going dark Instructions Preheat oven to 350 Mix all ingredients well Pour into greased loaf pan Place extra banana slices on top Bake for 35-40 minutes Did you make this recipe? Tag @fitnessista on Instagram   Tips for Perfect Paleo Banana Bread: Use overripe bananas for maximum sweetness and flavor. Feel free to swap almond flour for a gluten-free baking blend. Measure your ingredients accurately using a measuring cup or scale. For extra sweetness, add a handful of paleo-friendly chocolate chips or chopped nuts to the batter. Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to five days. You could also give this banana bread recipe a try or this banana muffin recipe for pre-portioned goodness. See ya in the morning with a new leg workout

[purplesurveys]

1031

Do you usually take blame or blame others? Depends on the context, I guess? When things go wrong on a very deep and personal level between me and people I deeply care for, I usually try to find reasons to blame myself. But if it’s something superficial, like if someone messes up at work through no fault of my own, then I’m able to point my finger to whoever fucked up.

Have you ever been to a McDonald’s in another state? I’ve been to McDonald’s in different provinces and also  in different countries. The McDonald’s we went to in Baguio was so surreal because we discovered that they were still using styrofoam containers that they had already phased out years ago everywhere else, and they also never changed the original spaghetti and chicken recipes I grew up with. It was such a blast from the past. As for other countries, I’ve tried out the McDonald’s in Malaysia, Indonesia, and China and made sure to order items that we didn’t have back home.

Have you ever seen 50 First Dates? Yeah, it’s one of my semi-guilty pleasures. It’s such a cheesy movie, but idk the concept is unique and the supporting characters made the whole movie enjoyable for me.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish? The fishy smell at the market can be pretty strong and bleck, but generally I don’t mind the smell of fish. I live in an archipelago, man. We live and breathe seafood. Idk anyone in real life who doesn’t like fish.

Have you ever been to Sea World? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss? I don’t think so, no.

Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? Yeah, but the only one I’ve gotten to read in full was The Fault In Our Stars. I also got to start on The Abundance of Katherines and Paper Towns, but because I only borrowed those copies from friends I never got to read either until the end. All were okay, but I don’t find John Green’s writing to be as great as it was once hyped up to be.

If so, which one is your favorite? I guess TFIOS, since that’s the only one I got to read through to the end.

Are you a protective person? With my loved ones and pets, yes.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? Yeah I’ve felt a lot but fortunately it’s never been a severe one. Just super brief earthquakes where the most that happened to me was a little swaying.

Would you rather go to a beach or city for a vacation? I love beaches, but a change in scenery would also be nice because I already go to beaches for vacations fairly often. City.

Does your license plate number contain the number 8? I never actually memorized my plate number LOOOOOOL I think so? It’s either a 6 or 8.

Were you ever a ghost on Halloween? Nope.

Has someone ever held the door open for you? Yeah, security guards tend to do that for customers/guests. Sometimes, nice strangers that I enter a place with will do it for me too.

Are you a fan of penguins? I think fan is pushing it far lol. I like penguins, but I’m not obsessed.

Have you ever stayed up all night on a school night? Just a handful of times, and it was always as part of a groupwork. I’d never willingly go through an all-nighter for myself.

What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos or Pringles. We also have a local brand that makes these deeeeeelicious salted egg chips, but I’ve never actually taken note of what the brand is.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Not to me. But a lot of people have sung around me.

Are you a good painter? No. That’s why I opt for paint-by-number kits, because those come with a guide haha. I can’t actually craft images by myself – that skill belongs to my sister who has an insane talent for painting.

Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never bought a car by myself; my dad takes care of the car purchases. I know he test-drove the Vitara, but idk about the other cars we have.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? Hmm, I don’t write poems. I don’t find the vast majority of them appealing, and only once in a while will there be a poem that is able to speak to me.

Do you like pineapple? Nope.

Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite.

Do you look more like your mom or dad? Most comments point to my mom, but I’ll get the occasional remark that half of my face is my dad’s as well. I’m a good mix of both.

Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? This hasn’t happened before.

When was the last time someone called you babe or baby? Maybe August? I’m not too sure. It’s been a few months.

Do you have an older brother? No. But I’m super close with my eldest cousin on my mom’s side and we grew up together and all that, and I pretty much consider him my older brother. He’s definitely more a brother than a cousin to me, and it has always felt and been that way.

Are you a fan of art? Yes, especially paintings and dioramas.

Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? My mom’s, I think? I really don’t know, I’m bad at recognizing this kind of stuff. You’d have to ask people who actually see me on a daily basis.

Have you ever seen the movie My Girl? Is this the one with the really sad scene of a boy’s funeral and the girl’s like, “He can’t see without his glasses”? I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve heard about that scene a million times.

Do you watch Teen Wolf on MTV? Ugh, MTV’s teen shows are such a cringefest to me. I never followed it, but I’ve had to watch a few eps back in high school when my friends would watch it while we were at someone’s place. Not my cup of tea.

When it was on, did you watch Cory In The House on Disney? I watched a few episodes, especially when it was still new. But we were also in the process of moving then and we didn’t have cable for a few years in our new house, so I had to miss out most of it.

Do you have any blackheads? I don’t.

Do you have any freckles? Nope.

Do you have a movie that you have to watch during the summer every year? No, but I have something similar. I like watching Love Actually at least once every year, during the Christmas season. I like watching Two for The Road once a year as well, regardless of the time of year.

Do you think that life isn’t fair sometimes? I mean yeah. It doesn’t revolve around me, so I know it won’t always be fair.

When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Valentine’s Day last year.

What was the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Haven’t touched it since September, though.

How many books do you plan to read this summer? It’s past summer, and I haven’t been doing a lot of reading in general.

Does your house have a dishwasher? No, not a common appliance here.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? I probably do. But I haven’t seen people outside of family for so long that I can barely remember who has which tattoos. I’m pretty sure I know someone who has flowers.

Do you like the name Carter? It just reminds me of the underwear brand honestly, so not a fan.

Have you ever had a secret admirer? No. Should there be one, they shouldn’t be having high hopes; I wouldn’t be interested in the least.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in? There’s English, Filipino, Korean, Spanish, German, French, Japanese – 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. Disagree for the most part, but 50 First Dates is cute.

--

Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? Yups. I wore sneakers when I went out to get Starbucks last Friday evening.

How much money did you spend yesterday? The charging cable that I ordered arrived yesterday, so I had to shell out ₱140 for that.

What genre is your favorite movie? It’s a romcom/drama. My other favorite is a drama.

Are you texting anybody right now? Nope. I’m all alone today, which is the way I want to be for this weekend.

Who was the last person you were in a car with? My parents.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? I really do, hahaha. I don’t know why the people at the LTO gave me a pass, but I had been allowed to smile with my teeth. That helped make my license photo turn out super well and I no longer feel embarrassed whenever I have to take it out and present it somewhere.

What’s your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie? Potato Corner fries. Can’t be any other type of fries.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? July or August when this random guy slid into my PMs. I had never had so much fun blocking somebody so fast.

Was the last person you met a male or female? The last new person I met was male.

Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Angela or Andi.

Do you own a map of the world? I mean, I guess. I have a collection of the World Almanac for Kids books, and it had always included a world map in its Countries chapter every year.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Is the light on in the room you’re in? No, doesn’t have to be as it’s bright out and I can see the sun from my window.

Who did you last spoon with? Gabie.

Are you currently watching TV? No.

Have you ever had surgery or stitches? Never. Hope I’ll never be needing one.

Do you own any clothing that has animal print? I have a tank top with cheetah print that I sometimes wear at home.

Does your family eat dinner together? Yes, every evening. We don’t eat together when my dad is working abroad, but since he has stayed home for all of 2020 because of Covid, we’ve gotten to eat together as a family all year.

Where do you work? Somewhere in Metro Manila; I’m not giving the city away.

Are you in high school? I got out of there nearly five years ago.

Do you have a TV in your room? I used to, but not anymore.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? My phone and laptop both are.

What was the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8.

--

Are you hungry?: I can def go for a snack, or maybe even a full meal. It’s taking everything in me not to order Popeye’s or Army Navy from Grab rn.

What color is the chair you’re sitting on?: I’m sitting up in bed; my sheets are blue with gold/yellow prints.

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: I got bottled coffee when I went to 7-Eleven a week ago.

Do you like salsa that has fruit in it?: ...Don’t all types of salsa have fruit in them though? It would be brand-new knowledge to me if I was told not all salsas have fruit.

Have you ever opened up your computer to clean the fan on the inside?: No. I’d rather have professionals do that.

Can you count in binary?: No, and I never even understood how it works.

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: No. Mostly because it reminds me of cathedrals.

Are you a chocoholic?: Nah. I like chocolate, but I can live without it.

Are you scared of snakes?: I mean if they were venomous or obviously wanted to eat me whole, of course. But I’ve also already held a couple of snakes before.

Have you had your wisdom teeth removed?: No.

Do you like hard or soft pretzels better?: Soft all the way. I find the hard ones too salty.

What was the last magazine or catalog you looked through?: I don’t even remember. Maybe Tatler? My grandma has loads of those at her house.

When was the last time you wore a raincoat?: I don’t think I have ever worn a raincoat.

Have you ever been carded when buying something?: Idk what that is but nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened to me whenever I’ve made a purchase, so I’m gonna go ahead and say no.

Do you eat meat?: Yep.

Corn and mashed potatoes, or beans and rice?: Both pairings aren’t really a part of our cuisine, so neither sound appealing to be honest. As someone who thrives on rice, I hate the idea of eating beans with it; so I would go with corn and mashed potatoes even though I’m having a hard time imagining how it would work.

Can you sleep with the light on?: I probably can, but it would take me a lot longer to fall asleep.

What’s your operating system of choice?: Mac/iOS.

Have you ever broken a bone?: Never.

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: I don’t have a favorite color to use, but I prefer pastel shades in general over neon.

Do you have a flashlight?: My phone has a built-in flashlight, but we also keep a couple of emergency flashlights at home in case of blackouts.

Do you like watermelon?: I like some watermelon-flavored stuff like candies, but I’m not fond of the fruit.

…Honeydew?: Hahahahahaha. BoJack Horseman, anyone? Anyway, I’ve never had honeydew and probably wouldn’t like it considering my established opinion on fruits.

Can you shoot a gun?: I’ve never tried, so I’ll say no. I’ve always been meaning to go to a shooting range though; I feel like it’ll be such a cool experience.

Do you like salad?: Not for the most part. The only kind I enjoy is spicy tuna salad, which only has lettuce in it alongside tuna sashimi and spicy mayonnaise.

When was the last time you smashed your finger?: I don’t know if I ever have? This doesn’t ring a bell to me.

What color is your computer?: Silver/gray.

Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class?: No, my chemistry classes in high school and college were never that fun.

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: Sure.

What color hair do you have?: Black.

Do you use the microwave often?: I wouldn’t say so; just a couple of times a month.

Are you good at spelling?: Sure, I’d claim that. Thank the movie Akeelah and the Bee; that movie made me super passionate about spelling and dictionaries for a time. I can still feel its effects today because I’m still very much particular about spelling more so than any other kind of writing/language mechanic.

Have you ever petted a donkey?: I’ve never even seen one before :o but I’d love to have the chance to pet one, heh. It would make me so happy.

When was the last time you went to the doctor’s for a physical?: 2016.

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: Sure.

Have you ever painted a room? Never have, but would like to give it a try.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Hi, i was looking on multiple websites and i couldnt find any specific camp halfblood scedules for all the demigods, or at least none of them matched up to each other.

Do you have a version or even your own idea of how the days work? ( bcs ur ideas are usually pretty good lol)

Thanks!

My interpretation of it was always that each demigod has an individual schedule, probably tailored to their specific training needs and if they're a year-round camper or summer-only and whatever else may play into that. So each camper would get an individual schedule. I also generally presume that campers will generally have similar or the same schedules as their siblings within their cabin, like for example all the Apollo kids may go to archery together, all the Demeter kids may go to pegasus riding, etc etc.

Adding a read-more here cause this got very long - Beyond this point, here there be lists from canon of camp activities:

So we know some of the general activities available that they might participate in. Percy goes over a couple in Sea of Monsters:

And in PJO: The Ultimate Guide (ghostwritten by Mary-Jane Knight, fun fact!) we also get Percy's camp schedule over the course of a week (only weekdays - presumably campers get the weekends off). I can't get a scan of it currently, but his schedule includes (roughly verbatim) (it uses military time which i don't feel like translating right now cause I'm too dyslexic):

Breakfast and cabin inspection (Every morning 8-9)

Ancient Greek (Every morning 9-10:30)

Lunch prep (Monday), Store checks (Tuesday), Cleaning stables (Weds), Picking strawberries (Thurs), Polishing armor (Fri) (10:30-11)

Archery (Mon), Javelin throwing (Tues), Sword skills (Weds), Monster assault techniques (Thurs), Pegasus riding (Fri) (11-Noon)

Greek mythology (Every day 12-12:30)

Lunch (12:30-13:30)

Weapon-making (Mon), Ride the rapids (Tues), Tracking skills (Weds), Wrestling (Thurs), Volleyball (Fri) (13:30-15:30)

Letters home (Mon), Cabin clean-up (Tues), Laundry (Weds), Wood-chopping (Thurs), Firework-making (Fri) (15:30-17:00)

Free time (17:00-18:00)

Dinner (18:00-19:00)

Volleyball league (Mon), Unarmed combat (Tues), Archery knockout (Weds), Trials of strength (Thurs), Capture the flag (Friday) (19:00-21:00)

Campfire singalong (21:00-22:00)

There are notes as well that: Cabin inspections are carried out by senior camp counselors in rotation (which we've seen in the books), Ancient Greek and Greek Mythology are taught by Chiron and Annabeth, Sword-fighting is in the arena, Weapon-making is at the forge with the Hephaestus cabin, Archery is taught by Chiron (which again we know from the books - see the excerpt from SoM), Wrestling is with Clarisse, and Dog-handling (not featured above) is with Mrs. O'Leary.

Based on what we know from the books, it seems like the post-dinner activities are general for all campers and are slightly more opt-in. Maybe it's a matter of campers are encouraged to participate in at least one after-dinner activity a week, but if they don't wish to they can just spectate instead. I'm presuming the activities immediately before free time/dinner are also shared by all campers, probably in rotation though so that hopefully all of CHB isn't doing their laundry at once. I'm also going to presume that certain campers may do certain activities significantly more often than others, again based on their specific training needs - like, I imagine "ride the rapids" is probably usually a Percy-specific activity. Other campers may also participate in it, but Percy may have it on his schedule much more regularly.

And we know from other misc. books and Percy's progress report (also from the old Rick Riordan website) some other general camp activities include:

Music lessons (taught by Woodrow the satyr, at least as of TOA)

Chariot racing

Footraces (and one-legged races, in TOA)

Of course, as mentioned previously, rock-climbing (at the lava-wall)

Border patrol (again mentioned in the SoM screenshot - we know it somewhat fell out of practice after TLO due to the Golden Fleece strengthening Thalia's pine, which in turn strengthened the camp borders, and since there was no longer an active war it wasn't as needed, but presumably campers will still do it, or at least maybe Chiron will make the rounds.)

Washing dishes (in lava) (they get gloves, don't worry) (Usually carried out by the cleaning harpies, but may be assigned as punishment)

Gardening (presumably mostly in the strawberry fields)

Some campers are implied to have specific individual jobs, such as Will being camp medic and implied to be in charge of the infirmary. Also presumably someone is manning the camp store (I can't recall if it's canon or not that the Stolls are/were in charge of that but I just always say that they are cause it just feels right). And for awhile "generally taking care of Mrs. O'Leary" seemed to be a specific camp job that Beckendorf and Percy usually did.

According to Sea of Monsters and Sea of Monsters only, allegedly there are just. Normal horses in CHB. So taking care of them and also general riding lessons with them are presumably also in the schedule somewhere, unless that's a job for the nymphs and satyrs.

Alongside ancient Greek it's implied the campers are also potentially given Latin lessons. Presumably also taught by Chiron, given he was a Latin teacher.

It's also implied that CHB has some form of year-round schooling available for the year-round campers. So their usual camp activities may begin to lean heavily into more standard classes during camp's off-season.

And then there's this example schedule from the old Rick Riordan website:

Hope this helps!

[dizzybizz]

when the brainrot hits you like a truck

here are some cooking and cooking related headcanons!!

• kazuki is a very good teacher, hes generally very patient and attentive, he tends to bicker with rei a lot, he struggles to formulate himself concisely sometimes but hes doing great

• miri joins in anytime they cook, they let her wash the vegetables or mix ingredients together, which she obviously has little songs for

• rei is trying his darndest damn it!!

• he finds it really hard asking about stuff and especially for help but hes trying and i love him 😢😢😢

• rei sucks at cracking eggs, miri laughs endlessly, kazuki is dying in the background,,, he keeps explaining how to do it correctly but it never seems to get through to rei

• its not even funny at this point, either the egg is smashed before hes even tapped it to the counter or he ends up using too much force when tapping it against the counter or he successfully cracks the egg but shell ends up going in alongside it-

• he is also stupidly fixated on being able to crack eggs single-handedly (he says its bc its efficient and its always good to have a hand free, which is true, but really he just thinks its badass) and its the bane of kazukis existence, he comes home one day to find both rei and miri (bc miri would also think thats the coolest thing ever and want in) in the kitchen with an almost empty egg carton and egg and shell covered counters, they make eye contact and kazuki immediately turns around and leaves to buy more eggs without so much as a word

• kazuki abandons using omelets as an easy entry-level dish after that

• rei is bad at seasoning savory dishes, hes bad at eyeballing the appropriate amount, kazuki does his best at helping or getting him to use measurements but rei is stubborn, he obviously doesnt want more to have more dishes that absolutely necessary so he needs to work on his eyeballing skill

• during early sessions kazuki would always supervise closely and sorta just constantly stare like a hawk over reis shoulder, he learned quickly not to do that again 💀💀💀

• rei doesnt really grow to like vegetables but kazuki learns ways to work around that by discretely incorporating them in dishes

• rei does like cucumber tho, subtle and very crunchy, put some salt on that sucker and youve got an easy snack (that he shares with miri), you dont even have chop it in order to enjoy it which is appreciated

• kazuki throws a bunch of cookbooks at rei and urges him to look through them and see if anyhting piques his interest, rei flips through them before going to sleep which can bite him in the ass when he has to go to sleep hungry as fuck 💀💀

• hes woken up multiple times with a cookbook in the tub with him

• rei enjoys baking a lot, his and miris sweet tooths never go unsatisfied

• he doesnt bake frequently per se, but he does so in bulk, and freezes cookie dough and such

• kazuki, early on, suggested cooking games in order to maybe get rei a bit familiarized with terms and techniques but he grew to regret it, a gaming night where everyone is gathered in the living room and kazuki loses his mind at the logic in the games, he doesnt stop commentating

• they end up getting into cooperate cooking games like overcooked, plates up and one-armed cook tho and its all good, if they play with miri in the vicinity they have to bite their tongues in order to not swear

• rei struggles grasping his mind around meat, theres so many kinds and cuts and doneness levels and ways of preparation and spice blends- its all a lot

• rei and miri each get their own aprons to match with kazukis 🥺🥺🥺

• miri gets a little yellow one with a monkey or like a sky blue or pink one with a white rabbit, fuck it why not both

• rei has an orange one with a black cat

• or if we wanna stick to an ocean theme, miri would have a goldfish or jellyfish and rei would have an octopus

• rei is a bit of a mess in the kitchen but we love him anyway, i just feel like hed be the type to go "ill clean it all at the end"

• he unceremoniously throws dirtied utensils and pots in the sink to be delt with later

• doesnt even use waiting times to clean or clear his space a little, kazuki is horrified

• rei finds doing the dishes a bit tedious at times but he enjoys the process and seeing the fruits of his labor in the form of sparkling clean dishes

• the repetitive motions are very soothing

• he doesnt like getting wet tho and wears gloves

• rei listens to music when cooking- maybe some instrumental tracks, nothing too distracting

• miri observes whenever either of them are cooking, she stands on a little stool in order to see the counters properly, she is really curious and inquisitive

• early on in reis cooking journey she would give him pointers and reminders she remembered kazuki telling them

• rei isnt an adventurous eater or cook, he prefers things that are simple and quick to prepare

• wait times for rei are long and arduous so he sneaks off to play some video games in the living room, the first few times he did this were disastrous and hes learnt to turn down the volume by a bit and reminding himself that he is in fact in the middle of cooking something

• the family makes lots of homemade popsicles during summer

• when kazuki and rei first try cooking together they mess up a lot but eventually they get a system going where each of them has their own tasks. they make a good team in the kitchen for the most part

• cooking very much becomes a family activity for them after a while

[randomly-a-fan]

On the Red-Dirt Road Finale

Pt. 1  

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Pt. 4

Before, Chop Top whacked MJ in the head to knock her out. While MJ was knocked out, she remembered the things that Pennywise translated out for Jason by accident. ‘Does he really think I’m immature? how does he put up to my actions and reactions?’. MJ was tearing up during her unconsciousness. She didn’t think that Jason would dare to come rescue her; since she’s been disobeying her husband’s request, why would he bother? he could be a free man, the kind that can do his bidding.

In the darkness of her unconsciousness, she heard a loud ringing. “DINNER TIME.” Drayton shouted, as he was ringing the bell. MJ woke up feeling all wet and sweaty; perhaps from the aftershock after getting whacked in the head. “Yer goin’ to love Grand-dad, he’s a one-hitter when it comes to hammerin’ down victims.” Drayton explains. He was expecting a scream or a squeal, however, she was quiet. “What’s the matter, aren’t yeh excited for dinner? I know I am, and grandpa too... which reminds me *to his brothers* HURRY UP YOU SLOW-POKES, IT’S DINNER TIME.” Drayton shouted to his brothers.

***

MJ didn’t move a muscle the whole time, even if Chop Top tries to scare the crap out of her, she wouldn’t flinch. “The bitch is in a depressed state; she thought she can be a hero and save her daughter, but instead, she went down to her fate.” Drayton explained with a chuckle. Bubba stares sadly at MJ, before he walked over to her to wipe away the tears that’s been staining her cheeks. “Good call, Grandpa hated salty brew.” Drayton said.

After MJ’s face was cleaned, Bubba carried MJ all the way to the washtub next to grandpa, where grandpa does a one-hitter, only, he keeps dropping the hammer multiple times. If MJ had the moment to make the mock, she’d say: 'He’s a one-hitter alright, he really hits the floor to its death.' But she’s just accepting her fate. When grandpa got the aim, she was knocked out again.

The Sawyers were going to do more to her, until they noticed that the ceiling is falling apart, and that they’ve all heard a weird noise. The noise was coming from the large pipe. Jason jumped out, making a threatening chi chi and ah ah. Even though Drayton have met Jason before, he couldn’t recognize him under his Hockey Mask. “What’s the big idea! What business do you have?” Drayton shouted at the intruder. Jason first removed his hockey mask then puts it back on. “Ah, Jason is it, what’cha doin’ wearing a hockey mask?” Drayton asked with a fake smile. Drayton was unaware that Chop Top was petrified; he knew that the hockey-masked guy was The Camp Blood Legend.

Jason saw from over Drayton’s shoulder, was his wife with her face in the washtub, then the old creepy man in a wheelchair with a hammer. Jason stared angrily at Drayton. “Oh uh, look... I tell you what sonny, I’ll give you some money, if you just spare us and be on your way.” Drayton said while holding out the money from his pocket. Jason doesn’t give a damn about money, he wanted his wife, alive, so he raised his machete and charged at the boys. Jason successfully stabbed Drayton in the behind, which will give him quite a shock. Drayton crawled under the table in fear. Chop Top gave grandpa the hammer before he cowers in fear. “Bubba, get’em down, he’s no match for you, get’em!” Chop Top yelled out at his little brother. Bubba didn’t want to move a muscle; he gave Jason the friendship bracelet a long time ago, does he really want to kill off his friend? 

While Bubba thinks, he remembers what Malon has told him, about making the choice for himself, and listen to his own heart. Jason shoved grandpa out of the way and caused the wheelchair to roll backwards. Jason cut the binds from MJ’s arms and tries to wake her up. MJ only groans as she’s trying to get out of her unconsciousness, so Jason lifted up his mask and gave her a kiss by the lips, to help her snap out of her unconsciousness. “...Jay?” MJ said groggily. Jason nodded while tearing up. As Jason hugged his wife tight, Chop Top was going to whack both Jason and MJ in the head, with a hammer that he has picked up when Grandpa fell. Bubba saw what his brother is going to do, so he gave his brother a good whack in the head with a lamp to give him a shock. Jason and MJ were shocked to what they’ve just witnessed. “Bubba! You saved our lives?” MJ asked in shock. Bubba nodded while whimpering; he hit his own brother, his own family, but he can’t stand to see his friends get killed, not when Malon will be missing them.

Without the Voorhees or Bubba knowing, Drayton took a grenade from the Nubbins corpse’s pocket and pulled the ring off of it. “Come with us, Bubba; you can relive a happy life, away from your traumatic events.” MJ offered. When Bubba was about to accept, he heard a faint noise from under the table. Bubba then noticed the grenade that Drayton was using, so Bubba squealed at the Voorhees to make them leave, while Bubba goes over to stop the grenade from hitting his friends, even if it means giving his own life for them.

***

Malon and Aquarius were waiting outside, while Pennywise lays on the sofa to settle his stomach. Then they both heard an explosion. “What was that!?” Malon asked in panic. Aquarius saw that the hideout was about to collapse, so she held Malon in her arms, to prevent her from looking out the bus window. “Is mom and dad back yet?” Malon asked with worry. “Penny, can you sense anything?” Aquarius asked with hope. “I don’t know, I’m still recovering from my tummy ache.” Pennywise answered. Malon didn’t care if Aquarius didn’t want Malon to see, she squirmed out of her grasp and rushed outside. “MOM... DAD...” Malon called out. 

Aquarius rushed out to Malon’s side. “Malon... You’re a big girl now, and I believe it’s time for you to face the music... I don’t think your parents made it out.” Aquarius said sadly. Malon looked up with tears. “NO, my dad is alive, and he’s keeping mommy alive too, I just know it... I can feel it!” Malon said with angry tears in her eyes.

After a few minutes, and the dust is settling, they’ve noticed a large figure coming towards them; Jason was carrying his wife bridal-style out of the dust. “They’re alive, thank God!” Aquarius praised. “MOM... DAD.” Malon shouted out before running towards them with happy tears. Jason puts MJ on the ground so they can both give Malon a heartwarming hug. “Look at us, we’re together again... As a family.” MJ said while tearing up. Then something came to Malon’s mind. “Where’s Bubba?” Malon asked in concern. “I wanted to thank him, and take him home with us.” Malon said. Jason and MJ stared sadly at each other before staring back at Malon. “Sweetie, Bubba risked his life for us, he went down with his brothers; it’s all he ever wanted.” MJ explained sadly. Malon’s mouth was wide open after hearing that. “You mean he’s... No... No... NO...” Malon collapsed down with tears running down her eyes. “That’s not fair, Bubba did not deserve this!” Malon bawled. Jason hated to see Malon crying so hard, but he had to get Malon and MJ onto the bus, so he waved at Aquarius to walk Malon into the bus, while Jason carries his wife into his arms again.

*** 

Once Pennywise was driving, Aquarius took a look at MJ’s injured foot. “I think it’s cute when Bubba tries to fix it with a ‘Hello Kitty’ band-aid, however, it won’t help with the possible infection. When we get back home, we’ll make a stop at my cousin’s place; she performs tetanus shots and other vaccinations. But for now, we have to clean it up and patch it up.” Aquarius said while fixing MJ’s foot.

While Aquarius was cleaning MJ’s foot, MJ and Jason were looking at Malon in the back of the bus. Malon was still upset for what Bubba has put himself into. Jason wanted to join Malon by laying down next to her. He was going to wrap his arm around her, but he assumes that Malon was not in the mood to be cuddled. Until he felt Malon snuggling against him, and wrapped her arm around her dad. Jason also saw Malon tearing up, and is rubbing her face against his side, so Jason patted her head and gave her multiple kisses.

*** 

After Pennywise drove past the border, Aquarius insisted that they stop at the diner for breakfast. However, Malon didn’t want to eat; she was too much in destress to eat. But MJ and Jason didn’t want Malon to not eat, so they both decided to stay with Malon for a few minutes. “You two go ahead, we’ll come in eventually.” MJ said. 

So, once the Grays went in, MJ and Jason sat next to Malon to talk to her. “Sweetheart, we understand that you’re sad over Bubba, but you have to understand that he gave his life for us.” MJ explained. “But why doesn’t Bubba want to come with us? We could have given him a happy life, away from his abusive brothers.” Malon asked with confusion. “He didn’t come with us, because he didn’t want to leave his brothers; they’re his family.” MJ answered. “Even though they’ve been mean to him? Siblings should never be mean to their siblings.” Malon said. 

MJ paused as she tries to think of a response. When she looked over at her husband, something came up. “Let me ask you this Malon, remember when your grandparents came over for a visit, and that they’ve been mean to daddy?” MJ asked. Malon nodded. “Well, mainly grandpa, but yeah.” Malon added. “Well, if my parents offered to take you home with them, would you go? I mean, my dad knew that your dad is a serial-killer.” MJ asked. “Of course not, I love you and dad very much! I know dad kills trespassers, but that’s only because he’s protecting us from harm.” Malon explained. “There you go; even though Bubba was bullied by his brothers, it doesn’t mean he wants to leave them.” MJ explained. 

Malon nodded slowly after hearing the facts. “It doesn’t help to state the fact that he’s now dead...” Malon said. “But I’m assuming that he’s happy in heaven, and he would want me to be happy too... Though, is it alright for me to be sad?” Malon asked. “Of course.” MJ answered while giving her daughter a hug. Jason smiled at his girls for sharing a bond, until his wife pulled his arm to join in the hug. Once the conversation is settled, the Voorhees went into the diner for a hearty-breakfast. 

However, for what Malon has witnessed at the hideout, she didn’t want to eat any meat, so she asked the waitress to hold any meat products; such as sausages, ham, and bacon. “Malon, you love bacon, what’s wrong?” MJ asked. “Clearly for what your kid has been through, she doesn’t want to eat any meat that came from a living creature. So, she chose to live her life as a vegetarian.” Pennywise explained for Malon. “No one was asking you Penny.” Aquarius informed. “Sweetie, being a vegetarian is a big decision; it can be life changing if your body wasn’t used to having protein.” MJ explained. Malon didn’t respond to that; her traumatic event caused her to not have anything to do with murder. 

Jason understands what she’s thinking, if he were in Malon’s shoes, he wouldn’t want to eat meat either, thank goodness for him, he can still eat steak. Jason isn’t too worried; Malon is still young, so she might change her mind about wanting to be a vegetarian... He hopes.

Bonus

Back in Texas, the construction workers were taking care of the demolition of The Texas Battle Land. When one of the crew workers was eating his sandwich, he heard someone approaching from behind. When the man turned around, he saw a large man in a leather mask. As the man screamed in terror, Bubba chopped him up with a chainsaw. Once the man is dead, he swung his chainsaw around in the air on the road by the abandoned amusement park.

The End???