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roturo · 10 months

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ROLLER COASTER!

①NEW REQUEST FROM ANONYMOUS!: childhood!friends into... ???, 1 sided love, mixed emotions and smut & angst.

→ summary: every goodbye has a why, but why have you been saying a lot of goodbye's without actually leaving?

→ warnings: SMUT. angst, corruption kink, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering & oral (f!receiving), drunk sex, jealousy, 1 sided crush turns into.. idk man, a lot of angst fr, dick grayson is an idiot mwah. words: +2.5k

TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK. THANK YOU. ENJOY. SMUT BELOW THE CUT.

December, 2010.

¨ALFREEED! Dick is hitting me again!¨ You called for some help, a smile creeping your face.

¨Hey! That's not fair! We're training! You're supposed to get hurt! It's not my fault you're way too weak to protect yourself.¨ He pointed the training-stick to you, motioning to get up, but his action quickly stopped when he saw a tear running down your cheek.

¨Hey, hey, hey¨ He knelt down in-front of you cupping your cheek and wiped the tear away with his thumb. ¨I'm sorry, okay?, you're not weak, i'm just better than you.¨ That made you jokingly punch him on his stomach at which he only chuckled. ¨Okay, maybe not better than you, but practice makes perfect, c'mon, get up and let's watch some tv.¨

As a kid, you couldn't know what you felt for Dick, you mostly though he was 'special' since he was the only kid living with you and Wayne. A 11 year old knows what's love, and you're sure Dick, as a 14 year old knows it too. He's likely to not think very seriously when you tell him you love him, but in reality?

He's the beast for your beauty.

December, 2014.

You gazed at Dick through curious-lashed eyes, your heart pounding with a mix of nerves and adoration. You had been harboring a secret crush on him for what felt like forever. But as much as you treasured this friendship, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness.

"So, Dick," you began, voice light and teasing, "any thoughts on the winter gala this weekend?¨

Dick's eyes lifted from the book he'd been engrossed in, confusion creasing his forehead. "Winter gala? Oh man, I totally forgot about that. Should we go?"

Your heart sank slightly, but tried to hide it behind a smile. "Hmm, I don't know. I'm not much of a dancer, you know."

Dick laughed, his melodic chuckle resonating in the serene surroundings. "Come on, you just need someone to teach you a few moves."

Your stomach fluttered at the suggestion, butterflies dancing wildly within you. Did Dick just imply he would teach you how to dance? Or were you reading too much into it?

Your laughter filled the air as Dick playfully tried to demonstrate dance steps on the carpet of grass, and much to your delight, you followed along, attempting your own clumsy version.

Hours passed until both of you were breathless from dancing and laughing. You plopped down onto the picnic blanket, side by side, shoulders brushing intimately.

Your mind started to wander, daydreaming about what it would be like if he ever realized your feelings. Would he reciprocate? Or would he still see you as just a friend?

"You know," Dick suddenly said, his voice laced with mischief, "if I had someone who danced with such enthusiasm as you, I wouldn't mind going to the gala at all."

ba-boom, ba-boom, you were sure you're going to pass out. Your eyes widening in disbelief. Could it be that he was finally taking notice of you?

"Really? You… you'd want that… from me?"

Dick tilted his head, his dazzling blue eyes capturing your gaze. "Of course, why not? You're amazing, and being with you always makes me happy."

Leaning against Dick's shoulder, you closed your eyes, basking in the warmth of the friendship of you two. Maybe, just maybe, someday he would see you in a different light. But for now, you're just cherishing these moments of pure, unadulterated fun.

December, 2017.

You were at Dick's 21st birth-day, which, Wayne made the 'reunion' for his birth-day, or what he likes to call it, his 'gala'. Your excitement was jumping everywhere, you even bought a new dress for this occasion, his present was a nice bracelet you bought by yourself, with your money.

It wasn't the most expensive, neither the most fancy, but it was made just for him. Unique in this world, well, the matching bracelets were unique in this world. You were ready to finally confess your love for him, bracelets with initial of you two, not because you're owned by the other, but because you know each other. It was your princess dream, and it was finally time for this.

After some final touches, you were ready. Entering the room, you could see a lot of people, mostly Wayne's acquaintances or friends, but you finally spotted him, actually, with Wayne.

You couldn't quite see what was he wearing since you only could see his back, but Wayne seemed happy, at least.

With quick steps, careful to not trip yourself with your dress, and throw away his present, you finally got closer to him.

¨Dicky! I know I already said happy birthday to you, but look-... Oh.¨

Oh.

Who was this girl?

¨Oh Y/N, great you're here, look this is my new girlfriend, her name is Daisy.¨ You locked eyes with her, she seemed nice, ha. ¨Daisy, this is Y/N, she's like my little sister, practically known her my whole life.¨

Oh wow.

¨It's a pleasure to meet you Y/N¨

¨Pleasure it's mine.¨ And with that, it was enough for you, how oblivious this fucker can be? ¨Dick, can we talk for a moment?¨ You didn't even waited for him to answer when you already grabbed his wrist and took him into his room.

When you were at your room, you couldn't take it anymore and broke down crying.

You wandered further into the room, gaze avoiding his as you tried to gather the turbulent thoughts. The weigh of your confession threatening to choke the words from your throat. But you had to do this, even if it costs the friendship.

"I-I've been keeping something to myself for a while," voice quivering. "And I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Dick, I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember."

His brows furrowed in confusion, and you glanced up for a fleeting moment, catching a glimpse of his girlfriend's picture on his desk. Pain surged through your chest, but you proceeded. "I know you have a girlfriend now, and I understand if you don't feel the same way. But I just couldn't let this day go by without telling you how I feel, this was supposed to be the day, when you think i'm not longer a little child, where you could love me as I do."

Words trembling with vulnerability. Dick remained silent for a moment, his expression laden with guilt. Slowly he closed the distance between you two. His gentle touch on your arm made your heart skip a beat, yet it also stung with unrequited affection.

"I'm really sorry," he murmured, his voice filled with regret. "I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. You've been an amazing friend, and I don't want to lose that.¨

¨I'm sorry, but we can't be friends anymore... I will always see you as something else.¨

PRESENT TIME.

You didn't exactly cut connections with Dick, well, since you both lived in the same house for a while more, but let's say you remained as... distant family. You saw each-other at parties, meetings, galas, so... you were still in contact!

Gratefully, not that you would show your happiness, he broke up with his girlfriend, way too manipulative and control freak. But that's not all!, you grew up, your feelings for him didn't disappeared, but you hid them far away from you.

He already knew your boyfriend, he acted kind and nice about it, not that both of you could talk a lot about it.

This gala was made by Wayne, again. Dick got really distant since he resigned from being Robin, and started a new group of Titans, you were a little jealous about it, but mostly sad for not being part of it.

You were talking with some of your boyfriend's friends, some boring conversation about some new business, which you couldn't care less about, but you caught a familiar silhouette not so far from where you are.

Apparently he brought the titans with him, you don't know them personally, just by news, magazines, and well, because of him.

And to say you weren't a little tipsy was a lie. But who could blame you? But being drunk also brings some... distortions about what's really happening. He was drinking too! With another girl!

After some time of asking for more shots, getting all touchy with your boyfriend, just so he could look at you, he's been doing the same, getting all touchy and flirty with her. Everything was like a competition of who would get more jealous first and leave. And well, like he said once, he's better than you.

With clumsy steps, somehow you made into your old room. Memories coming fast liken a roller coaster, emotions beating out the small chest you tried to forget all this time, you needed him.

Clicking his number on your phone, it's like he was waiting for it, like this was going to happen.

¨Heyyyyy' Dicky'- Hic!¨ you giggled at the sudden hiccup, and you could tell Dick was giggling too, it made your heart beat faster. ¨What's wrong little bee?¨ He said, some unrecognizable background noise was getting less and less loud. ¨Little beeeeee'? What's that- hic! type of nickname?¨ Both of you just laughed at the sudden and dumb conversation between two idiots in love.

¨You know... My boyfriend is a little- he- a little shit.¨

¨He's worse than my ex? No waaaaay¨ He said with a chuckle.

¨Yeah, he's been fucking some other girl... I don't know for how much time, but it's been a whileeeee¨ You started laughing suddenly, ¨And you know what I hate most? hic!- It's that surely you been fucking some other bitchees heh-.... bitches before me. You know I hate you for that right love?¨

¨You don't how many nights I been jacking off by myself thinking about you ever since we distanced apart. I didn't realized how much I needed you to be in myyyy life.¨

¨...........¨

¨...............¨

¨.... Dicky... I need you¨

¨Oh... you do princess? Where do you need me?¨

¨In my room, I need you now¨

¨And for what princess? I'm going there.¨ He was giggling while walking.

¨I need you to fuck me for once.¨

That's the last thing he heard when he hang up and with quick steps he got into your room, and with no words needed both of you started kissing each other, between giggles with just one sudden push and you landed among the sheets. Dick got on top of you and started kissing you as you started tugging at the hem of his shirt.

Dick's shoulders were wide, his hips narrow and there was a visible V-line that was half-hidden by his trousers. You were trying not to stare, but it seemed impossible since he was so appealing. Dick helped you to unzip your dress and you were lying only in you lace lingerie. His eyes were devouring you. How he couldn't notice how perfect you were for him?

Suddenly, Dick grabbed you calves and pulled you towards him on the edge of the bed. His free hand reached out for a pillow that was laying nearby and placed it under you hips. You were following closely his every move and your head started spinning a bit, a side effect of the substances in your bloodstream. He kneeled in-between your thighs and was placing small kisses on your bare skin.

His fingers pulled your panties to the side while he looked you in the eye before dragging his tongue over your clit. ¨Ah!- Nng- D..Dick!¨ You moaned at the sensation and reached out to touch his hair. His warm breath was caressing you, his movements were lazy yet precise.

You were getting frustrated with the slow tempo and you were about to say something when he pressed his index finger against your entrance. It didn’t take too long before you were moaning his name as he added another digit. Again, the pool of heat was starting to build up in your stomach while he curled his fingers inside you. Dick seemed amazed by how eagerly your hips were meeting his palm, the wet sounds of him moving his fingers inside you, made him eager to fuck you, he brushed his thumb against your clit once more before giving a small peck and standing up, taking of his pants and what was left of your clothes, he positioned himself between your legs.

You saw Dick right before he thrust his hips to enter you again. Your body was warm, already so fucking wet, he didn’t think he could last long enough for it to be fun, but then he steadied himself and slowed down the pace. He ran a finger across your lips, signaling to open them at which and you opened them wide enough to suck on it.

He bent over only to start leaving kisses in your neck that would for sure be purple by tomorrow. ¨Aren't you a good girl princess? A good, good girl.¨

¨Such a nice girl for me, I bet no one else has touched this pussy.¨

¨You- you're, ah!~ right, Dicky-, You're the first one to fuck me. Reaching a lot of place my fingers couldn't reach while thinking of you.¨

It's like something on Dick turned on, and started violently thrust into you in a bestial force, making you cum when his cock touched that place. His eyes were even darker, his dilated pupil taking over his blue-crystal eyes.

¨Oh yeah? I'm the first one to fuck you?¨

¨Ye-yes, other b-boys tried to give me pleasure on other ways and couldn't do it as good, nhg!~ as you.¨

His thrusts started becoming harder instead of faster, the though of another man fingering you made him mad. You were now his.

“You are driving me insane and I’m this close to losing my shit because of you.”

¨Make me yours Dick.¨

The next day, Dick was kissing your naked body while you were hugged on his, since you were kids you were always the small spoon. He was observing how he could never notice how perfect you are, you were always for him, you were the one.

He feels so incredible right now, the chemistry both of you have, it's amazing.

His fucking phone started ringing.

¨Fuck, the Titans meeting, shit.¨ He looked at your sleepy body and decided to dress you up, and obviously dress himself.

He forgot to leave you a note to notice you he's coming back, but you only realized once he woke you up knocking on your door.

He had... flowers?

¨Dick, why are you here?¨

¨Look Y/N, I know yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions, and I feel so dumb for never loving you the way you deserved to, but please, give me a chance, you won't regret it, and I guess you and your boyfriend-¨

¨Dick.¨

¨Just hear me out for a minute okay?, I never wanted to admit it, mostly because I thought I would lose you, not because of you, but because of me, I don't know what problem I have, but that doesn't matter right now-¨

¨Dick.¨

¨I will fight for us no matter what, and last night definitely wasn't an accident-¨

¨Dick! What are you talking about? What happened yesterday? Did I say something when you came into my room? Did I told you something personal when I called you?! Oh my god...¨

Were you lying?... He froze for a moment, the flowers fell from his hands, and he just started walking away. Is this true? You don't remember?

It feels like the beginning when you both grew apart, it's really hard to adapt at what's going on inside his head. Was yesterday an accident? Does he really loves you? Do you love him?

Why does this feels like a goodbye?