#'it took sitting down and thinking up the most personal thing for louis' :)

[cantquitu]

Have you seen any of the absolute lunacy on Seas blog at the moment? Wishing death on Harry, ranting and raving due to the fact Harry dressed up as Danny from Grease because...Louis also played him in a school production and its his favourite movie. You cant make it up, I dont think Harry has given Louis any real thought for 7 years. Her blog is a crazy place at the moment.

I haven't seen it, but if you had asked me to guess what her blog was like today...what you've described is exactly what I would have said :)

edit: ok it's even worse than I'd imagined! A literal parody!! :D

[m0chisenpai]

Hi! Can you do a Armand x Fem!reader x Louis? She would be an assistant of Daniel’s. They have sorta a thing for her but are trying to ease up because she’s not as open to the whole camp thing or lowkey doesn’t believe them.

off the record

˚｡⋆ louis de pointe du lac x black!fem!reader x armand

in which Daniel neglected to coach you how to deal with the behind the scenes of the creative process

author note: I had too much fun writing this, I love the idea of this trio so much

There takes a certain level of thick skin to work for Daniel Molloy. He wasn't a terrible boss. Just a difficult old man with extremely particular needs and ways he worked. But when he found you, you were an intern with well regarded credentials and grades, but according to your counselor you were headstrong and outspoken.

He accepted your application instantly and by the next year you were his official, and most longstanding, assistant. You juggled his interviews and meetings with editors, and only recently have you begun to manage his doctors appointments.

You traveled with him, it was a non-negotiable that you were to come and expenses were covered, but Dubai was the last thing you'd expected. You’d been nearly to all the states, but for Daniel’s health anything out the country was once in a while and planned carefully.

The first night of the interview you aren’t present. Daniel can tell when he stops by your room, how your eyes droop. Your feet shuffle to greet him at the door.

He lets you sleep, but he won't say its out of care, that he's filled with guilt for dragging you into a penthouse of supernatural apex killers. After that you are a fly on the wall just as he always instructed you to be.

Beside him, eyes down, fingers moving and taking notes when he mutters something to you.

Louis asks who you are on the third night, "I never took you for a man who needs help Daniel." You won't admit, but your heart picks up, but you keep yor eyes on the computer screen and let Daniel respond for you.

"Not an intern, she's one of the few ones who didn't run crying after a week working for me."

Your lips turn up at this, one of the few moments he would ever compliment you.

"She truly is like you." His eyes must be on you again, but a shiver washes dwn your spine. Like someones nail ghosts the skin on your back, trailing down your spine. And another hand, caresses the back of your neck.

"Stay out out my mind," you mumble.

"My apologies, just wanted to know about our surprise second guest." Now you dare to look up at him. Ghosts, goblins, vampires werewolves were for shows pandering toward a female audience that wanted to drool over men too beautiful and perfect to ever enter their mundane lives.

You scoff and return your focus to the notes in front of you. "Save the immortal hack for Daniel Mr Du Lac."

Your skin crawls at the way he tilts his head ever so slightly, and in that cocky drawl offers another apology.

"Mr Du Lac and his companion would like to dine with you."

You assume it's in regards to the interviews. You bring your compuer and personal notepad along with Daniels. But what you are met with are two wine glasses side by side paired with the men on the couch, one sits in front of them.

Their gzes are unblinking as you enter, setting your things and carefully crossing one leg over the other.

"I'm sorry we are meeting so late, or would it be early sir."

"Call me Louis, the pleasure is mine. My companion Armand wanted to join our meeting this evening."

Armand creeps you out, how his golden eyes stare you, analyzing you. Trying to convince you of this facade. You'd prefer it if it were just Louis and you. You can manage being alone with the latter.

"Daniel tells us you think none of this to be real."

"It's true. I find the supernatural charade boring," you pick up the yellow pad and pen. "But I'm not paid to to dig any deeper than he asks me to."

"You weren't able to join the first interview because too were tired. I could hear your heart the entire time, you didn't sleep. Kept tossing and turning the entire night."

"An easy observation, can we focus on-"

"Thoughts were racing an awful lot too," Louis looks up in fake thought "is any of this worth it, why waste my time on a rich hack. I could be back home."

Once again you cut him off Pitching the bridge of your nose, "another keen observation please try and do better, now in session 2-"

"Your father took your mother here." Armand speaks up now and your heart stops, "those earrings she gifted you were from here. In fact in your dreams the previous evening you dreamt of taking them both here. You started planning it with the money that will come out of this interview."

Every word accelerates your heart, it makes Louis smile "Careful cher, your heart might beat out your chest."

Your hands shake as they swipe the glass of wine in front of you, you take two large gulps. Clutching it for comofrt.

"My apologies, I did not wish to cause any distress."

"I'm sorry, I need a moment." You leave your things behind and return to your room that night. The next morning a letter from the two sits by breakfast along with your things in a neat pile.

Eerily it is exactly what you were thinking of yesterday morning, it is french toast made from the fluffiest brioche. With a side of bacon, turkey, you hated pork. Armand asks to speak to you while Daniel rests along with Louis.

Once you eat and shower quickly putting on a sweater to combat the chill you find him in the study.

He sits, almost like he is waiting.

"It was not our intent to alarm you" his eyes follow you as you sit.

"You are more than qualified to work for any other reporter on your own, yet you work for...him. Why?"

"He was the only one to look pass the observations of my advisor, I wasn''t going to be just an errand girl. Not too many publishers cared for my opinions."

"You didn't believe Mr.Molloy was interviewing a vampire yet you still followed him here."

"It's not my book. I'm a fly on the wall."

"But if it were your story?"

You pause in thought, and stare into those unsettling eyes after a moment. "I would have interviewed Claudia had she survived. I feel her story needs to be heard."

You answer more of his prodding questions till you return to your room for lunch. A wrap o some sort with nuts and fruits on the side. And a pile of little girls diaries with white gloves and a not to handle with caution.

Armand won't voice his affinity for you as Louis does. You won't admit the way his eyes settle on you as you enter the room makes you preen, makes your heart fuzzy and your head feel like it wants to float away.

The interview goes on tonight with Armand joining. They once more talk about Lestat. You try and fight your eyes from rolling as you read through an email.

'If I hear his name one more time I might gouge my ears out.'

'Don't torture yourself like that cher.' Your eyes look to him, but he remains focused on Daniel, listening to Armand. How does one multitask like that? Two conversations at once must be hard.

'Years of practice.'

'And whats with all this chere nonsense?'

'Would you prefer your name instead?'

'No' your cheeks warm in embarassment "I...enjoy it."

"Get me some pictures of this theatre." Daniel's instructions get your attention, "and whatever memorabilia you can find." You nod typing that onto your list of many other things to do.

'I will help you with that tonight, after the session I've arranged for dinner tonight' Armand now stares at you and that damned feeling begins to creep back in 'no pork as per your request.'

Daniel coughs obnoxiously getting the elder vampires attention. "You were saying?" This time when you look down, a smile only the pair can detect makes its way upon your lips.

They stare at you less, leave your mind alone as per your request. And indulge in your blunt questions. Each night you find yourself slowly feeling less discomfort. You almost wish you could stay, you think to yourself one night now dining with the two looking at pictures of Louis in his younger years.

He sits beside you, smiling as he watches your hands carefully hold the photos from their time in France.

"No fair, Paris is top of my bucket list."

"I'd be more than happy to take you," Louis gives you that smirk which you roll your eyes in playfulness at.

"Sure you will."

"We could take you anywhere you would like" Armand states.

"Ibizia?"

"Gladly."

"Bali."

"Sure."

Even though you still doubt their supernatural nature. You indulge them. Unknown that just as much as you have them wrapped around your finger, they have you caught in a web.

And they'll patiently wait for you to realize that there are some beings whose hearts you should never toy with. For the results afterwards, are eternal.

[daisyblog]

Burnout

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Harry and Louis help YN.

Based on this request.

Warning: grief, anxiety, loss of a loved one, fainting, emotional distress, emotional burnout, hospital

Losing any special person in your life is hard. It leaves an empty hole in your heart. YN had experienced losing her first friend, her best friend, her biggest supporter…her Mum. But losing her little sister was a pain she’d never felt before. 

She remembers going to the hospital when her Mum had given birth to Felicite, her Dad eager for her, Louis and baby Lottie to meet their new sister. She can remember seeing the tiny baby cuddled in her Mums arms, wrapped in a light pink blanket. She can see herself clearly placing the tiny bunny, she had bought from the shop with her Nan the day before, in the the hospital cot next to her Mum’s bed. 

As the Tomlinson sisters got older, so their love for make up, hair and fashion took over. YN can remember them all gathering together in her bedroom, each taking it in turns to do each others hair and makeup. All sitting and giggling at how messy the room got from their hours of fun. 

YN used to get annoyed at every family gathering, when an older uncle would always make a joke at how much taller Felicite was compared to her. But right now she would do anything to go back and cherish this moment of her younger sister laughing and poking fun too. 

---

Around 3pm on Wednesday afternoon, the sound of their buzzer persistently being rung caught Harry and YN’s attention, as they were both sat in the living area making the most of a quiet day off together. 

Harry frowned, finding it unusual that they had unexpected visitors. When he saw Louis on the camera, he didn’t think twice about allowing him in. 

He opened the front door, and instantly had a bad feeling. Louis didn’t say a word as he walked past Harry, but the redness and his stained teared cheeks told him it wasn’t good. 

YN smiled as Louis walked in excited to see her brother, but her grin suddenly dropped when she noticed his appearance. “Lou, what’s wrong?”. 

Louis stood in the middle of the room, YN and Harry both waiting for him to speak. But now that Louis had to say the words out loud, he couldn’t. Harry and YN shared a look, concerned at what Louis was going to say. 

Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “It’s Felicite.”. The tears pouring down his cheeks, told YN every thing. 

At the realisation that they had lost their baby sister, YN launched herself into Louis arms. Her fingers clenched around the fabric of his sweatshirt, Louis holding onto YN, scared of losing her too. 

Once again, Harry felt useless. He lent against the wall in pure shock that the people closest to him was having to go through losing someone else in such a short amount of time. Watching YN sob into her brother’s arms, pulled on his heart as it thumped hard against his chest. The sound of her sniffling, broke him inside as he held himself together on the outside.

“I can’t do this, I can’t…not again!” YN spoke into Louis chest as the tears ran one after the other down her cheeks, leaving wet steaks in their memory. He held her tighter, knowing how much this was hurting her - because he too felt the same. Harry had to look up to the ceiling to stop his own from falling. 

Leaving out a deep breath he was holding, Harry knew what he had to do. He walked over to the two and pulled them both into his embrace. He left a long peck to YN’s head and gave Louis’ shoulder a squeeze. 

After a while of comforting each other, Harry trying to do everything he could to look after them both. Listening to their memories, listening to their sobs and reassuring them both that he was going to be by their side every step of the way. Harry glanced over to see after hours of crying and grieving they were both fast asleep on the sofa, Teddy cuddled into YN’s side, he decided to leave them rest and Harry placed a large blanket of the two of them. 

---

It had been a few days since Felicite had passed, and YN and Harry were travelling to Doncaster to be closer to her grandparents. Harry knew the next few days and weeks were going to be hard, but Harry wasn’t expecting YN to become silent. She sat in the passenger seat with Teddy on her lap as Harry drove, her body turned slightly towards the door as she held her arms around her  and stared out of the window. 

“Do you want to listen to music?” Harry asked as he flicked his eyes over to her quickly. YN didn’t blink, more, speak, nothing. She stared out of the car window, not making a sound.

“Do you want to stop for something to eat, or to stretch our legs?” Harry tried again. But still nothing. 

Harry was trying to support her, he couldn’t even imagine how she was feeling right now. He felt empty himself, he had been apart of the Tomlinsons lives for nine years and had seen YN’s sisters grow into young women, so he too was grieving. 

Arriving at YN’s grandparents house, Harry watched YN walk in front of him with Teddy in her arms and bypass everyone in the kitchen and to what he could only assume was into the cosy conservatory at the back of the house. 

Jen, Len and Louis looked between each other, not once had YN ever not greeted or acknowledged them. 

“Harry, love…is everything okay?”. Jen looked at him, concern written all over her face. Her eyes desperately wanting an answer. 

Harry let out a big sigh. “She hasn’t spoken for what feels like days, and I get it but I’m really scared somethings going to happen.”.

“I’ll go and speak with her.”. Louis announced as he got up from his seat, walking in the direction where YN disappeared to. 

Louis wandered around trying to find where his sister had hidden herself away. He was about to call for Harry when he couldn’t find her, but then a small figure caught his eye. He could see YN tucked up, her knees resting against her body as she stared into space. Louis noticed the small candle burning on the side table next to her and a photo of their Mum, Teddy looking up at him with pleading eyes from his place on the floor. 

“Hey Tiny…am I going to have the silent treatment too?”. Louis tried to ease in a joke, hoping it would get a reaction out of YN. But when YN didn’t move or speak, he continued. “I guess so…I’ll make the most of your silence then and do all the fookin’ talking.”. 

Louis took a seat in the chair opposite his sister. When he looked at YN, he could see that she was just staring almost like she was in a daze. “I know this isn’t easy Kiddo, believe me I’m putting on a brave face at the moment…trying to make sure the girls and Nan and Grandad are okay.”.

“We’re going to get through this…together! We’re strong, Mum taught us how to be strong”. Louis reinforced how their Mum always showed them that as long as they all had eachother they could get through anything. “Also, you and Harry are in a good place again…and he wants to be there for you…so please let him”. 

---

Harry couldn’t help but wonder what Louis may have said to YN when he went to look for her earlier on. But he was pleasantly surprised when she rolled over in bed next to him and lifted his arm so she could cuddle into his side. He placed a sweet peck to her head, followed with an “I love you”.

The commotion and several voices downstairs woke Harry. He could see the light sky shining through the bedroom window but he was glad to see YN peacefully asleep, her hands tucked under her cheek and like normal Teddy was cuddled up on his blanket at the end of the bed. 

Harry put on his shorts, t shirt and hoodie before he went downstairs and was greeted with the smell of an English breakfast. Jen greeted him and told him to help himself to the breakfast spread she had been cooking. 

Louis appeared from the living room, a cup of tea in his hand. “How was she last night?”. He brought the mug up to his lips to take a sip. 

“I’m not sure what you said but she let me comfort her”. Harry explained a grateful smile on his face. “She still hasn’t spoken but small steps”. 

“She’ll be alright, she’s a strong woman”. Louis reassured him. 

Harry and Louis got lost in conversation, as they both ate some breakfast together, both sipping on their mugs of tea. But breaking them from their conversation was Teddy’s feet running towards Harry and barking loudly at him. 

“Hey bud!” Harry went to pick the small dog up, but when Teddy jumped away barking and running towards the stairs and then back to Harry, alarm bells went off for them. “Shit..it must be YN”. 

Harry ran up the stairs, following Teddy’s steps and Louis right behind them. Teddy ran towards the bathroom, where the sound of the water from the shower could be heard. The two of them were petrified at what they were about to face. 

“YN? Babe?”. Harry shouted towards the bathroom door but the silence was loud. The anxiety bubbled up inside of Harry’s chest whilst Louis also shouted his sister’s name. 

Harry wasted no time and opened the bathroom door, where they could see YN on the floor, her eyes closed as she laid still but her body shivered. Whilst Harry ran straight to her and kneeled down next time her, Louis ran to get a blanket from the cupboard and grabbed his phone ready to call for an ambulance. 

---

Hours had felt like weeks for Harry and Louis as they sat in a small private waiting room, wanting answers. As much as their grandparents wanted to be there too, Louis had reassured them that Lottie and the twins needed them at home. 

“I swear I’m going fookin’ grey”. Louis broke the silence with a joke. Explaining how all the worry and stress was going to turn his hair grey. 

“They’re all really lucky to have you, you know that”. Harry nudged Louis shoulder slightly. “You’re one of a kind as a brother, looking after them all.”.

Louis looked down, not wanting to accept the compliment. “They would all do the same for me…plus that’s what big brothers are for”. 

The door opening, Interrupted their heartwarming conversation. A female doctor entered, a file filled with a paper in her hands. “YN Tomlinson’s family?”. When Harry and Louis both responded, she continued. “We’ve ran some tests and we’ve come to the conclusion that YN may have experienced a drop in blood pressure, which is why she fainted”. 

“Is she alright? Is she going to be okay?”. Harry panicked, worry evident in his voice as he sat on the edge of the seat. 

“YN is okay, but we given her some medication to keep her body rested as she was showing signs of stress.”. The doctor explained, looking between Harry and Louis. “Has YN experienced anything that may have caused her to become anxious or stressed?”. 

Louis took a breath before the words had to slip from his mouth. “Uh we…um…our sister passed away a few days ago and…our Mum passed just over two years ago.”.

“I am sorry for your loss”. A sincere comment was made by the doctor. “That does explain why we would think that YN has experienced emotional burnout.”.

“Is there anything that could help her, she hasn’t spoken much or anything these past few days?”. Harry eagerly wanted to help, at this point he was willing to do anything. 

The doctor took a seat opposite where Harry and Louis were sat. “There are different services out there that may benefit you all as a family, that could support with grief but YN would have to decide if she wants the support and possibly if she is feelings this much emotion…which is completely understandable…then you may want to support through counselling.”.

Harry and Louis shared a look, wondering what the next few days were going to look like for them. 

It had been a few more hours until they allowed Harry and Louis into the room to see YN. As they walked into the hospital room, they could see YN sleeping in the bed. A white sheet covered her body to keep her warm and a cannula was attached to her hand. 

Harry went straight to her side and held onto her hand that was free from any tubes and wires, and he placed a gentle peck. “I know you love to keep me on my toes but you’ve almost given me a heart attack today”. 

“I’ll give you some time alone, I’ve got to ring me Nan and fill her in on anything…I’ll be right outside”. Louis explained, walking over to place a kiss on YN’s forehead before leaving the room. 

Harry moved YN’s hair away from her face with his gentle fingers. “I’m going to help you through this…I promise!”. 

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour @bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl @buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream @treehouse-mouse

[armandclocksitall]

Object of Your Pursuit (Chapter 1)

Armand x gn! Reader (no y/n used)

Warnings: descriptions of death, suicide ideation

Armand strode into the bar. He knew he would gain nothing from being here. No human food or drink could ever quench him, but he chose to be here to escape his own thoughts of what went down just a few days prior. A 77 year long relationship torn apart in a matter of days by the first person who ever saw him for who he was. The 500 year old vampire had never been found out so fast, had never been found out ever even by himself. Louis was right, Daniel Molloy truly was as fascinating as he made him out to be.

Daniel, his fledgling. Armand never intended to make another vampire, but Daniel was different. And now he was being tracked down by him.

He sat in the corner of the crowded room as he thought about how things would play out. Maybe he’d just let Daniel kill him; 500 years was a long enough life. He never found anyone who had any interest in sticking around so why wait around any longer?

Armand was there for hours watching the people pile in and out of the building, the chatter never dying down. A rowdy bachelor party that would grow to regret their decision to drink so much the night before, a girl crying in the bathroom being comforted by her best friend over a breakup that truly will benefit her down the road, a man face down at a table, dead to the world having drank himself into unconsciousness rather than face the things that scare him, different people with different lives yet not at all breaking any molds.

They were all so boring. He winced at the word– boring. Maybe the most hurtful of insults he ever received from the man he loved. Armand was the only one who remembers that night so vividly, by his own fault of course. He can’t even claim that he thought what he was doing was right, he knew of the monumental fuck ups he committed and how they’d likely come back to bite him but he still did them. Lied to Louis, took credit for Lestat’s actions, tortured Daniel, manipulated people time and time again for his own benefit. He couldn’t tell if he was sorry for doing it or just sorry he was caught but now he sit here alone and still like a statue waiting to figure out his next steps.

The doors of the bar slammed open again, a gust of wind blowing through the bar giving a slight break from the man-made humidity indoors. A group of college students filing in talking of their upcoming exams, truly nothing groundbreaking. Complaints of a professor, what pages to study, blah blah and more never ending blah.

But finally something caught the ancient one’s eye, one of the students looked just as agonizingly bored as he felt. He entered their mind for only a second before feeling the thoughts wash over him.

They were thinking of a clock, counting the seconds until they were away from this group, this town, the school, everything. Nothing was keeping their interest and they were sick to death of it.

Sick to death, Armand thought to himself. It had been a time since he last hunted and a burnt out student would be quite easy prey, already halfway lured into wanting some long awaited rest. Normally he enjoyed a bit of a challenge but at his age, finding someone to drain wasn’t exactly difficult. He had sat there for hours with the senseless musings of humanity droning through his mind, he deserved an easy end to his night.

He stared at them, willing them to turn and lock eyes.

“Come to me.” The words were smooth as they slithered their way into the ear of his prey. “Come to me.” The words he projected into Lestat’s mind so many years ago.

The student turned feeling his breath on their neck, the words so clearly spoken and meant for them. They expected him to be just an arms length away as they turned but were intrigued to find the apparent speaker of the command across the bar with an intense stare.

They broke from their group, a muttered excuse of needing to go that was paid no attention. Slowly, they made their way through the crowded room brushing shoulders with people who each smelled of a different type of alcohol that burned their nose. Their eyes never leaving the fire like irises of the vampire, they approached his table and stared down at him.

“Mind if I sit?”

Armand wordlessly nodded his head at the chair in front of him. They sat and absentmindedly swished their half empty drink around in its cup. Their eyes met again waiting for the other to strike up a conversation. Armand straightened in his seat realizing they had no intention of speaking first.

“You’re bored.”

“Yeah?” they looked at him puzzled, “It’s a Thursday night at a bar in a college town, what’s interesting about that?”

“Not just tonight. You’re bored in general,” he said with a face devoid of emotion. This wasn’t an assumption. He just knew.

“Maybe, but you’re certainly not adding any entertainment factor,” they spoke, ready to walk away from this strange man completely.

“I can offer you something that might add to it though. It might interest you to–”

They cut him off, “I’m not gonna hook up with you.”

“That wasn’t what I was offering, though I’m flattered you at least thought about it,” his stoney face finally broke into a smirk. “What I was going to say is that it might interest you to at least listen to and consider my proposal.”

The student growing from bored to frustrated at his conversational pacing motioned for him to continue.

“I have a, let’s say ‘hobby’, of tracking people down. It keeps things interesting for me at my advanced age,” he chuckled to himself. “Would you be interested perhaps in being my object of pursuit tonight?”

“Your object of pursuit?” they laughed at his wording while rolling their eyes, “I already told you I’m not interested in hooking up with you.”

“Like I told you, that’s not my intention.”

“Then what exactly is your intention and why the hell would I wanna be apart of any of this?”

“I could offer you whatever amount of money you needed to live comfortably, more than comfortably, for the rest of your life. All you would have to do is make it to a location of my choosing before sunrise,” he reasoned as if this was an everyday occurrence for him.

“You’d give me money for you to hunt me down?,” they asked incredulously. “But only if I make it to wherever by morning; and what exactly happens if I don’t make it there?”

Armand raised an eyebrow at them, making it out like the answer was quite obvious. His eyes felt like razor blades cutting into them from across the table.

Every joke they could’ve made in that moment suddenly fled from their mind realizing exactly what he was inferring. “You’ll kill me.”

“Only if I catch you.”

The stuffy bar felt cold and suffocating in an instant, like all the air was sucked out of the room and all that was left was the two of them in a standoff waiting for the next move; the younger of the two discovering just how much danger they were in.

The thought sobered them immediately. They were sat across from a killer. The way he spoke of this plan it seemed this was far from his first time making the proposal. His words popped in their head. “At my advanced age,” their eyes scanned his face in confusion. He couldn’t be more than thirty years old, but his eyes are what gave it away; he was much much older than he seemed. The glowing irises clued them in that who– what was sitting across from them was not entirely human. It terrified them to their core that they didn’t immediately jump away from the horror that was this man but he was right, they were bored out of their absolute mind of life. This offer ended in two possible outcomes; they make it to where he tells them to go and they live out their life in the lap of luxury or they die. And they felt sick to their stomach that they actually found excitement in it all; years of the mundane ended, the first sense of twisted joy they’ve felt in recent memory and its the offer of being hunted like a wild animal by this creature.

Armand watched the gears turn in their head, watched as they rolled the idea and all its potential. He slipped into their mind to see their thoughts race a thousand miles per hour until everything became clear. They would accept.

“Where do I need to go?”

He smiled warmly at them as if he wasn’t planning their death as they spoke. “There’s a church about 5 miles west of here called Saint Mary’s, no vehicles allowed; it takes the fun out of it for me.”

5 miles. He expected them to not even make it five miles before he killed them. The realization was grim but they shook his hand before standing, “I take it I’m not allowed to tell my friends I could potentially be gruesomely murdered tonight?”

“It would certainly complicate things for me, but it’s nothing I couldn’t handle quite quickly. I’ll even give you a five minute head start,” he said smugly before making a shooing motion with his hand, “the clock’s already started.”

They approached their friends rigidly saying their quick farewells for the night, a half assed excuse made about needing to wake up early the next morning. As they exited the bar they threw a single look over their shoulder, noticing his eyes never left them for a second; a shiver wracked their body as they headed into the cool atmosphere of a quickly emptying street.

They pulled up the address and directions to the church on their phone with shakey hands, their heart was pounding but despite the lump in their throat they couldn’t bring the tears to their eyes. Adrenaline was coursing through their veins and yet they weren’t upset at the prospect of dying. The student squared their shoulders and began a quick pace towards their location.

A five minute head start, Armand thought it was hilarious. He could give them an hour head start and would still catch them. Obviously he wouldn’t but he was at least generous enough to wait twenty before standing from his chair and making his way to the street. A dreadfully bored college student is easy prey but even if he wanted a simple hunt he’s never had an issue with playing with his food.

Within minutes he was caught up to the student, staying far enough away and concealed to the shadows that they wouldn’t notice. He expected slight terror, maybe some sniveling at the prospect of death, a full sprint even; adrenaline makes humans do funny things. But no, none of that when he showed up, not any of those things. He had noticed they were bored but he never predicted they would react so– odd? The two were in a park, about three miles from the church, they had made it a good distance in the time he had given them. There was no panic, they were listening to music through a pair of headphones. It was two o’clock in the morning in a park lit only by the occasional street lamp, they weren’t worried about a vampire brutally murdering them; they didn’t even seem to worry that being so unaware of their surroundings at such a time could get them killed by a random stranger.

Armand scoffed to himself. Were they not taking this seriously at all? They were at a bridge that overlooked a small stream when they stopped. He looked into their thoughts, preparing himself to be offended by this human’s apparent stupidity. They were stopping to admire how the lights bounced off the water– while a murderous creature was after them, while he was after them. The next thought is what caught him off guard though. They were thinking about how if they died tonight they left behind no real regrets; they had nothing to quite look forward to in their future. He saw they had a general disinterest in life but never suspected them to be suicidal, though most humans even when suicidal have some sense of yearning for life; this simply did not appear in the student’s head. There was no sense of hopelessness; just apathy, a preparedness for death should it come to them.

It hit him at that moment, they felt the same way he did following his separation from Louis. A feeble minded human potentially understanding the depth of vampiric loneliness? He shook the thought from his head walking away from the scene, he was simply overthinking things. This night would only end one way; he would feed on and kill them and move on with his life once again.

It was another hour before they finally approached the church. They hadn’t seen him the entire night and considered that maybe it was just some weird scare tactic. Maybe they weren’t actually being hunted for sport by some otherworldly creature disguising himself as man. They wandered up the street seeing steeple up ahead, just a few hundred feet before they were guaranteed safety. For a moment, hope swelled in their chest; they could actually succeed at something. That moment all but vanished seeing a figure standing in the shadowed doorway; it was him. The air left their body knowing this would be the end. Their feet began to drag as they walked towards the man. How did he get here so fast?

Armand’s eyes followed the student. He saw the minuscule glint in their eye thinking they had made it disappear in an instant. It would’ve brought him joy in any other situation, but for some reason now it just made him feel a bit guilty.

“So I didn’t make it in time,” they shrugged apathetically.

“No. You didn’t.”

The two were at a standstill across from one another. The older of them looking at the other with a sense of curiosity.

“You aren’t going to beg for your life?”

They shrugged, “I knew the terms of the deal, I didn’t get here before you did. I’m gonna die, that was what you said would happen.”

Armand was met with a wave of conflicting emotions; it was so rare for him to spare a human life, and never if it didn’t benefit him somehow. Allowing them to live offered him no advantage by any stretch of the imagination and yet he found himself moving aside and motioning for the student to pass him. They stared at him in confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“I haven’t touched the door yet so I suppose I’m not technically here.”

They held his stare as they walked past him and placed their palm on the door. “Does this mean you won’t kill me?”

He nodded already parting ways with the student, waving his hand dismissively, “I’ll see to it that the money is wired into your account, I’ve already got all your details so don’t worry about it.”

They stood there on the steps to the church speechless. What had changed since the beginning of the night? Before they had left the bar he seemed more than ready to kill them without so much as a second thought. They didn’t want to die but it left them with an overwhelming sense of frustration; who the hell was he? What the hell was his problem? They had half a mind to chase him down and demand these answers but by the time they had processed what had just happened he had disappeared into the darkness of the night without a single trace.

The following night, Armand was on the hunt again; tonight’s menu was a drunkard with an ego even bigger than his bar tab. He had no issue with this one, the man learned very quickly that this was to be taken seriously and was currently sprinting to his destination after Armand played a few mind tricks on him to raise the adrenaline. The vampire was waiting for a single mistake before he finally stepped in and was granted that wish as he watched the man trip over a curb, sprawled out over the sidewalk. Armand stepped out of the shadows next to him, making the man scramble away repeatedly failing to get to his feet.

“You were so close, a mile away and you would’ve made it,” Armand pouted mockingly. “You know the deal.”

The man was drunkenly sobbing, begging for his life as the creature before him stared him down apathetically. “Please, God, please. I don’t wanna die. If this is a message that I should clean myself up, I’ll do it. I’ll fix everything, please just don’t kill me, I’ll do anything. Just God, please!”

He sneered downwards. “God has nothing to do with this.” He spat, “You made your decision, you will die tonight by my hand.”

Terrified, the man finally made it to his feet and turned to run only to be grabbed by the collar and thrown into a nearby alley by Armand. He was effortlessly lifted by the 500 year old being, fangs sinking into his carotid.

Armand drank deeply from the man, his blood bitter with alcohol. It would have to do after the previous night’s happenings. The alcoholic’s heart slowed and he dropped his body waiting for it to come to a full stop. He was still haunted by that student unable to push them from his thoughts; who were they to occupy his own?

He quickly disposed of the body; he threw it in a dumpster, taking no care and breaking as many bones as needed to shove the limbs under piles of garbage. It was careless but the humans would likely write it off as another unsolved murder, no real suspicions had as long as he didn’t make a habit of this. He’s sure he would’ve taken more care if his mind wasn’t reeling thinking only of them. He was wandering the streets mindlessly having no true destination in mind. The sun would be up in a few hours, he should probably figure out where he is and find his way back to his coffin before sunrise. When he looked up he found himself in a residential part of the city, a place he’d never been before but around him he caught a familiar scent.

Armand rolled his eyes. Of course he would end up mindlessly wandering here. It was the scent of them. The apartments around him were all run down; fire escapes nearly coming off the sides of the buildings, iron bars over windows, sidewalks poorly paved and overgrown with weeds. He found himself calling out to them with the same words he had used the night before, “Come to me.”

Five minutes of prodding at their mind, summoning the student, a door to his left swung open. There they stood, in a frumpy pair of pajamas looking irritated at his presence.

“Decide you actually wanna kill me?” they jeered sarcastically.

“No, I spared you last night and I intend on sticking with that decision. I was just–” he paused, “in the area.”

They shifted their weight uncomfortably from side to side before making a decision, “Well if you wanna keep talking to me can we at least bring it inside; I don’t love wearing my pj’s in the street.”

He nodded before following them into the building up to their apartment. As he entered he noticed the inside was just as worn as the outside, albeit the decor added a bit of warmth to the room. It wasn’t highbrow interior design by any stretch of the imagination but it was lived in, something that could never be recreated by anyone else. Homemade blankets were strewn across a couch that had a few holes speckled over its fabric, the television was set to some random show on low volume, pictures framed on the wall some containing humans that the student seemed to care about, other just different pieces of art that they had collected over their time in this town. It was undeniably them.

They stared at him as he surveyed the room, silence overtook them for a full minute before he spoke. “This is where you live?”

Their eyebrow raised, “Yeah? I’ve lived here since I started college.”

“Are you going to get a new apartment with the money I gave you?”

They snorted, “Why? Are you planning on dropping by?”

His face was stone. Ignoring their quip, “Well now you can afford better, wouldn’t you want to live somewhere that isn’t so–” he chose his next words carefully so as to not offend them, “neglected.”

The student blinked, having not even considered the possibility of moving. “I mean, I guess I could. But I don’t think I will if I’m being completely honest.”

“You enjoy living here? Like this?”

“Well, a nicer place wouldn’t have my favorite sandwich shop up the street.” They laughed before thinking hard, “And just because I have money doesn’t necessarily mean I wanna completely change my lifestyle. I quit my job and paid off my student loans which is great since I don’t have to worry about those things anymore, but I don’t think buying into a luxurious lifestyle is gonna make me happy.”

“But you can buy whatever you want– do whatever you want.”

“Yeah, but money isn’t gonna buy me friends who care about me. Money won’t buy a family that isn’t constantly hovering, wondering how I’m doing since I moved three states away. I moved away specifically because of how bad they hovered and it still hasn’t stopped them. The government sucks, I’m stressed all the time, I don’t know if I’m happy with what I’m majoring in at college. Turning a hobby into a degree has taken all the joy out of what I once loved and I’m not even guaranteed a job once I get that degree. Money can buy comfort but it sure as hell won’t buy me happiness!” The words tumbled out of their mouth, their breath accelerated and tears came to their eyes. They groaned, bringing their hands to their face. “I’m sorry, that was a lot. I just don’t like thinking too hard about the future.”

Armand stood there stunned. They were right, in a very human way they were completely right. He was beyond rich and yet he also couldn’t achieve the happiness he had always yearned for. For the second time he was shocked that they had understood his exact issues. Who were they? Before he could think through his request, the words were blurted from his mouth, “Could I see you again?”

Read Chapter 2 Here

[1d1195]

Physics Extra I

Read the rest here: Physics

Some great inspo from my 🌼-anon.

Hope you like it 💕

A little angsty, a little fluffy. Full disclosure--I'm not sure if I was tired or if I'm stupid, but I couldn't remember what year of college they were in and which Physics level they were in so I'm going to clarify here and I'll fix it later on. It shouldn't be too much of an issue. I left it a bit ambiguous if I remember correctly.

~2.5k words

Part of her worried this would happen. The flare of the savior complex paired with her insecurity finally won out. Time spent apart over break helped their budding relationship. It led to an unbelievably passionate reunion after the new year and return for the spring semester. The kisses from Harry’s lips on her mouth and trailing down her body made her warm just thinking about it and it was nearly a month—almost two—ago.

But now, Harry no longer needed a physics tutor. They didn’t have a class together. Fortunately, they did spend most nights together. Harry took her to parties and broke the hearts of every girl that had pined for him for so long. He walked her to class when he was free, and she met him at the gym just to say hi and run on the treadmill while he did his routines with his friends.

Niall and Louis were over every Saturday morning, hungover and whining for her pancakes before she went to the bookstore. Harry spent many nights in her apartment, snuggled around her and it felt so good. So unbelievably good.

She just couldn’t get her mind to agree that it was a good thing.

It was her own doing. How could she not know he would find out. It was exactly the kind of thing that happened in a rom-com or a sit-com or any comedy really. The irony of it all was not lost on her. She should have known.

For someone that studied Physics, balanced two campus jobs, and managed to have a boyfriend, she was an idiot.

*

Harry was at the gym again. It was either the gym or pacing the floor of his apartment. After a day of pacing and grumbling to himself, Louis insisted he leave and do something productive before he put a rut in their floor and lost their security deposit.

Studying was hardly his forte prior to dating her and now she wasn’t there to help him with the finer details of studying—like actually getting him to focus—he was a lost cause. Just being in her presence made it easier to focus. Like a little reminder that she was proud of him.

Thus, he was at the gym, the second time in the day. At the very least he would break his personal record twice in a day. The longer he stayed there, the worse his frustration got. His form was impeccable. Niall kept his eyebrows in a fixed uprise on his forehead. He whistled lowly.

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

“Do you know how stupid you’re being?”

“Inform me, please.”

“She’s the whole package, Harry. She’s smart, beautiful, funny, and I thought the pancakes were impressive, but the way she chugs a beer is honestly...” he chuckled. “I want my own tutoring lesson.”

Harry ignored him and made his way for the bench press. “Shut up,” he repeated.

“Harry, it’s ridiculous. You love her,” he reminded him.

“Spot me or shut up.”

Niall sighed. “If I don’t get pancakes soon, I’m going to lose it,” he warned Harry. It had been two weeks. They had barely spoken only murmuring hi when they bumped into one another. People ogled them before they started dating, now it only amplified.

“You’re a grown up, tell her y’want pancakes,” he muttered straining under the weight of his barbell.

“Christ, Harry,” he shook his head. “You’re a grown up. Talk to her.”

Harry did two reps and then his arms started to shake. It was too much for one day on top of the fact that without her help studying she was able to distract him here too.

“Why would she say that?” He murmured.

“Say what?”

“That...” he rubbed a hand over his face. His shirt was soaked with sweat. His scalp was itchy, he wanted to go home. Well, he really wanted to go to her place and lay with his head in her lap while she ran her fingers through his hair. They would watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch and eventually Harry would wake up and carry her to her room where they would snuggle and dream until the morning. “That s’not serious.”

“Well...have you asked her to be your girlfriend?” Niall sat on the floor while Harry straddled the seat. Niall stretched.

“I thought it was implied when we spend every night together.”

“Harry, she’s a nice, sweet girl.”

“Thanks, Niall. I didn’t notice,” he rolled his eyes.

“Well,” he shrugged.

“Let’s go.”

“Fine,” Niall hopped up, grabbed their waters. “But I’m not gonna snuggle with you the way she does.”

*

“This is ridiculous, you know it’s ridiculous right?”

She was lying on the floor between the TV and the coffee table, facedown. An unintelligible groan went into the carpet, and she tilted her head up briefly and then smacked it back on the floor gently. “Fuck.”

“You could easily apologize,” Sarah told her.

“Why did I say that?” She groaned.

“It’s new! And Harry...”

She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “Harry’s been nothing but nice to me. He’s done nothing but shown me that he likes me and cares about me. I just ruined it. I humiliated him and I couldn’t even deny it. I feel so...bad. Who does that?!”

Sarah sat on her hips making her grunt. “You. You did that, you idiot.”

“Thanks,” she mumbled.

“Well, fix it!”

“Sarah,” she sighed and put hands on her eyes. “He’s never going to trust me.”

“Of course, he does. The only thing that’s going through that stupid head of his is that he hasn’t made you feel more secure.”

“But he did.”

“So tell him. It was a lapse in judgment. Alcohol. Tell him you had a cold. He won’t care. He just wants you to know you can trust him.”

“But I am so...not his type.”

“Well, hate t’break it to y’kitten,” she mimicked Harry’s accent and her nickname. “You are now.”

*

“So how did you meet Harry?” She knew the girl was drunk. She didn’t get her name. It was Shauna or Shayna, or something. She couldn’t remember. Instead, she sipped her own alcohol, glanced around to see Harry playing beer pong with Louis and Niall.

“Uh...” she swallowed. “We had Physics last semester. He needed tutoring.”

“Oh, that’s so cute!” But not-Shauna didn’t make it sound like it was cute. It was so condescending. It made her feel awkward and almost ashamed of how they met. She wished they had met at a party or a bar. Something more college-y—although what was more college-y than meeting in class?

“Uh...yeah, it was,” because it was. It was cute. The way Harry came up to her in the middle of the dining hall—it was out of a movie. He was handsome, perfect, and so nice to her. Even though she heard rumors and felt inadequate about the type of girl he normally surrounded himself with, it was undeniably cute. It was tragic she felt ashamed of their meeting.

“So how long is that?” Not-Shauna continued.

“Pardon?”

“How long have you been a couple, officially?”

It was innocuous. Four months. All she had to say was four months.

“Oh...well...we haven’t really discussed...” she cleared her throat. “I’m not sure of the exact date...” she looked at the contents of her cup. “I don’t think it’s been…” nothing was coming to the surface to explain what they were. Not accurately.

Four months.

That’s all she had to say.

She’d been studying physics for a while. Time dilation was something she only considered in movies and in theory. Einstein’s kind of thing. Not her thing. At a party when she was just asked how long she had been dating the man that spent five out of seven nights in her bed, wrapped around her...hell inside of her... was not a place for physics.

But somehow, the hours ticked by in place of the minutes. The carbonation of the soda water mixing with her vodka was moving in slow motion. It was like she could count every bubble that reached the surface and popped. “Oh, you’re not...official,” not-Shayna said.

Again, that condescension was so uncomfortable, she nearly dropped her drink. The time dilation started again. She was counting the bubbles. “Well, actually—” But not-Shayna was gone. The movie that was her life immediately turned into a horror film. “Oh no,” she mumbled to herself.

The minutes that were hours suddenly turned into seconds. Someone whispered something to someone else. The game of telephone sped by in seconds.

Harry missed his final pong shot. He whipped around to her, her cup halfway to her mouth. Her cheeks turned beet red. As red as the cup she sipped from.

Anger. Anger was an appropriate reaction. A fiery gaze, a flushed complexion. Even hands in fists were understandable for her faux pas.

Anger would have been preferable to the hurt expression on Harry’s sweet face.

*

After her shift at the bookstore, she was lying on the floor again. Sarah invited her to go shopping. But she couldn’t. Nothing seemed right. An idiot. That’s what she was. A Physics student with a 3.9 GPA and she was probably the dumbest person on campus.

There was a knock on her door. “Sarah, I cannot shop,” she groaned. “I’ll probably trip and fall in the food court and ruin some poor teen couple’s movie and dinner date and they’ll never live happily ever after because that’s all I do. Ruin a perfectly good couple.”

“Um... not Sarah,” she jumped off the floor. Laying down to standing in less than one second. She sprinted to the door and yanked it out of the way. “Hi,” Harry said softly.

“Hi,” she answered awkwardly.

“Can I... come in?”

She swallowed, opened the door wider, and moved out of the way. He hurried in, sat on the couch. It was like the first time Harry came over to help decorate. It was basically his spot. When everything made sense. She felt more at ease seeing him in her space again; making himself comfortable.

But comfort only lasted seconds because he looked… anxious. Which only fueled her anxiety.

He rubbed his hand on the back of his head and sighed. Dropped his hands into his lap. “I think we should talk, kitten.”

“I shouldn’t have said it!” She blurted. Her own pacing started. Her heart rate started to fly to a dangerous level. She was pacing in her floor spot that she designated for laying. “I don’t know what was wrong with me! Sarah told me to tell you it was a cold or the alcohol... or maybe I had a stroke. I don’t even remember what she said to tell you. But I don’t have a reason. Which is worse. I wish I had a reason, Harry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I should have said anything but what I said. You have made me so happy over the last four months,” she was still pacing looking like a psychopath. “You have made me feel so safe and so... loved and I don’t know why I had such a lapse in horrible judgment like that. I mean you made me a hot chocolate bar for God’s sake! You don’t mind studying and you don’t care that I drool like a teething infant when I sleep. Even when I get it all over your pillow or your shirt. I feel so terrible, Harry. So completely terrible. I don’t know how I can be so smart in class and make everyone jealous and then go and say that about you. Or not say! I don’t know what's wrong with me but—”

Harry was quiet while she rambled and paced. It was cute. Sweet even. It was nice to know she was rattled, selfishly—they both paced when upset. It was sweet. Cute to know they shared it. He smiled softly. “Do y'want t’be m’girlfriend?”

She stopped pacing, finally. Her heart finally slowed, she put a hand to her chest, like it would keep it slow as she looked at him squarely for the first time since she started ranting. “What?”

“Well,” his grin grew. He looked at his lap again, his palms rubbing on his thighs. “It might be easier on us both t’tell you I love you. Y’know...if y’were m’girlfriend. Might be easier on you t’answer that kind of question if y’had a date t’tell people of when we’ll have our official anniversary.”

“You’re not breaking up with me?”

He chuckled. “No,” he smiled. “Also have t’be officially together t’break up, kitten.”

“You’re not going to wait till I say yes and then ask to break up, are you?”

Harry stood finally, put his hands on her cheeks to hold her in place. He kissed her forehead for an extended moment. It felt so good. Like the other hundreds of times that he did it over the last few months. In two weeks, it felt like a drought. “M’sorry I didn’t reassure you,” he wrapped his arms around her body and instantly she sank into his embrace.

“Did you say you loved me?”

He nodded. “M’hmm,” he hummed.

“Oh.”

“Do y’want me t’take it back.”

“No, thank you.”

He chuckled into her hair. “S’very polite of you, kitten,” he pulled back. “I love you,” he repeated, gazing into her eyes. “Loved you the moment y’agreed t’help me. A poor, sorry, hopeless, Physics-less sap like me.”

“You’re not so hopeless.”

“M’hopeless ‘bout you, kitten,” he assured her.

“I love you too," she gazed up at him, her eyes wide, expressive and so very sweet, "by the way.”

“I thought s’what y’meant in all that rambling," he chuckled.

She didn't laugh. “I’m sorry Harry, truly. That was so not okay.”

Harry shrugged. “I jus’ missed you, kitten. S’okay. I get why y'said it. We never really defined it,” he promised. “M’sorry I didn’t ask sooner or come make up sooner.”

She sighed into his chest. “Will you stay tonight?” She asked quietly. Her voice muffled by his shirt. The thought of being snuggled together made her so happy.

Harry wanted to make a joke about inertia. Or an object at rest. Something. But it wouldn’t come. He was too happy to have made up.

“Try and stop me, kitten.”

“Niall and Louis make you come here?” She asked.

“M’supposed t’ask if you’ll make them pancakes for dinner once we’ve properly made up," Harry chuckled and murmured into her hair.

“What’s ‘properly’ mean?" She asked innocently, a smile on her face that was anything but innocent.

He chuckled. “I’ll teach you,” he winked, tilting her face so he could kiss her deeply; the way he wanted to for the last week and a half.

And teach her what ‘proper’ meant.

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles @tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus @emmaawbr @crossyourpeter

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

[leslutdepointedulac]

How many of Destroyer's kittens do you think took a shine to Armand? Do you think Armand named any of them? Pretended to be irritated but was secretly thrilled when one of them would sit on his lap?

Oh I think at least three of her kittens took one look at Armand and instantly thought 'yes! We love you!' The last kitten is a bit shy and is wary of his in-human-ness, so he takes a bit more time to warm up to Armand. But once he does, he's all over him and won't leave him alone.

Because Armand isn't thrilled over them to begin with (or so he claims anyway lmao), they tend to gravitate towards him the most. Although Louis is the kitten's favourite person, they love nothing more than to climb all over Armand, biting at his fingers and curling up on his lap so he can't move.

Armand totally names them but they're his own names for them. Benji, Sybelle and Louis give the kittens their actual names, but Armand likes to call them things like 'Ankle Biter', 'Menace', 'Terror' and 'Nightmare'. These names start out somewhat genuine but over time Armand calls them this in the most affectionate way possible. But if anyone else refers to them by these names, Armand will glare at them and tell them not to be so rude to the babies.

And he's totally pretending to be annoyed by the kittens. At first it is a bit more genuine because "Louis they're chewing up my trousers and leaving holes in them." And when they make themselves at home on his lap, Armand doesn't really know what to do with them, so it comes out as irritation towards them for that reason too. However, the longer he's around them for, the more he gets used to the kittens and loves having them curled up on him.

If they settle on his lap, he does what every good person does which is not move a muscle until they do. If he's needed somewhere, Armand will tell them it'll have to wait because nothing is more important than these kittens getting their rest. No one's allowed to tell them off for misbehaving because Armand will be in their defence and say something like "Well if you didn't want the new table getting clawed up, maybe you should have put it in one of the rooms they can't get into."

One kitten in particular is very fond of Armand, and likes to sit on his shoulder, which he lets her do. Even when she's grown up, she still perches on Armand's shoulder, and he just leaves her to it while he goes about whatever it is he's doing.

Years down the line, when it's Destroyer's kitten's descendants, Armand likes to form an alliance with them and they gang up on Lestat when he visits. They're usually rewarded with some kind of treat after lmao.

[chalicedefinite]

I have been on this tag since day one and the majority of the posts and blogs I've seen adore Louis. Pointing out canonical traits like him actively lying in Canon books and now the show as well is not being hateful or disrespectful. Saying episode 5 and the whole tale infact being revisited is Not fans of lestat being apologists. It is what Anne Rice canonically did with the Vampire Lestat and the books that followed. Louis is loved widely in this tag. Lestat is being hated on as a result of the villainous portrayal in season 1 which again Canonically is a tale (not a true one) being told both in books and in the show. A lot of people however took it too far with the lestat hate and started calling anyone who liked him names and then people starting to fight back and the rest is how we got to here. If there is no understanding to fans of both characters the two most loved characters in the show -who at the end of the series canonically end up together- then what the hell is the point of being in this Fandom in the first place? Please don't take this as a personal attack it wasn't meant as one but as another person's experience and thoughts of the fandom so far.

I’m going to be honest I find this very hard to believe that it was only just about liking Lestat.

I’ve gotten more hate and vitriol from Lestat fans ever since I’ve joined this fandom. I’ve never talked bad about his character and I make it very clear on my blog that I love him and that he’s my favorite character both in the show and in the books. And yet, because I calmly engaged with a popular blog’s theory about episode 5; everyday I wake up to hate in my inbox that I have to delete. Lestat fans have been nothing but disrespectful to me for no reason.

Im a Lestat fan myself and I talk about how much I love him all the time it seems and I haven’t been once called a racist. I’ve had anons accusing me of hating Lestat but never ones accusing me of racism. This is the second time someone has told me that Lestat fans are bullied for liking him when all I’ve seen and experienced thus far is the exact opposite which begs the question: Is it really because you like Lestat or is it something deeper that other people picked up on but not you yourself? 3. How is anyone’s rational response as a human to someone calling them racist for liking Lestat is to deny the systemic oppression of black people? This is the main thing that doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. How did we go from, “Users were attacked for liking Lestat” to “So a bunch of blogs are now starting to agree with and talk about how reverse racism is real.” I’ve gotten attacked for liking characters before and my reaction to that is blocking whoever is causing trouble and ignoring them. I got harassed to hell and back in the Voltron fandom for defending and liking Allura and never at any point was I thinking about how affirmative action is the real systematic evil plaguing society. If this kind of thinking was always in the back of certain people’s head as they were analyzing the show then it’s safe to say that people weren’t mad at them just because they liked Lestat. You can not properly analyze a show where a black man talks about how he was systematically oppressed for being black when you don’t even believe in systemic oppression yourself. How can you sit down and watch this show where Louis is constantly being put down by the white people around him, where he has to pretend to be his husband’s chauffeur, where you see white people burning a black neighborhood, where Louis and Claudia cant even sit next to Lestat and have to sit at the back of the bus and come out of it thinking that reverse racism exists in our society? Louis is the age of a lot of black people’s great grandfather, what he went through was not that long ago and the society he lives is still alive today.

4. What purpose would it serve narratively to have Louis and Claudia lie about episode 5? I’m leaving this question here because the last time I tried to have this discussion it led to anons hounding me.

[ca-suffit]

to clarify something about the abuse asks.

I get a lot of asks every day. I sometimes have to skip over elaborating on everything I notice in a single ask bcuz there's 10 more behind it. I also am only human and capable of fucking up too. obviously my perception of what's a big deal or not will differ from others, as will our lived experience and whatever else.

I didn't think it was a big deal to not acknowledge the use of the word "abuse" in that initial ask bcuz I literally do see it as every character abusing each other at some point. that's a lot of what trauma does. I don't categorize ppl as "abusers" and I don't demonize the term "abuse" either. I think ppl should get a lot more comfortable with how often all of us abuse someone prbly every day tbh. if ur depressed and u ignore concerned friends and family reaching out for weeks or months, that's a form of abuse. if ur anxiety is spiking and u start screaming at coworkers or hit ur kid, that's abuse. it comes in a lot of forms, but we only look at a handful of them as "rly bad" and try to normalize the rest. this is largely why generational trauma is so prevalent too. everyone who does abusive shit thinks they're justified in doing it and doesn't see it as abuse. this is why I was saying I don't think louis is fully aware of his own behavior when he's v deep in grief and/or depression. it doesn't mean I think he deserved to get treated like shit for it in return or that he was the main offender. him and lestat talk past each other all the time and it took the fight and then the murder for them to start rly seeing more about each other and their relationship. lestat crossed a line so they killed him bcuz of it and yet the two of them are still drawn to each other anyway, so what does that mean now??

there is a difference between abusive behaviors and power dynamics tho. everyone in this series is abusive at some point but not all of them exist on equal ground with each other. so louis has moods at times but he's never the one with the power in his romantic relationships. he can hurt ppl like any of us could but he doesn't have the ability to "win" if it rly comes down to it. not physically. he only has this power otherwise over claudia and grace and we *do* see him use it at times.

louis and lestat are going to get back together by the end of the series. it's not a secret. I'm not saying this in a stupid shipping war way. it's a fact of the focus of the reason this story is being written. will the show tell a story that's satisfying to that end?? idfk. that's what they're *trying* to do tho. so at some point u *are* going to have to get comfortable with that and have empathy for "abusers," see them as ppl capable of change. they've said over and over that nobody is meant to be a "good" or "bad" person here. "are we the sum of our worst moments?" like I keep saying, real trauma, real mental illness, w/e else also acts like this. these characters are complex bcuz IRL these things are complex too. there's constantly a lot of cycling of so many things happening at once and u literally can't please everyone bcuz we're not all coming at this from the same exact places in understanding it.

so I am sry if maybe we don't at all align in a thought process. I am doing my best to answer things objectively that are about a lot of triggering shit for ppl across the board. maybe I need to take more time on certain asks and not skip over things as I notice them, but for most stuff I've been assuming that ppl can also do their own research, or that simply there's no one answer anyway so why bother giving it time. I'll try to be more careful on my end with certain subjects but I hope this helps give some clarity on where I'm coming from in this.

u can also send asks on this but I might sit on them a few days before answering rn.

[alarrytale]

Thank you for answering my question about Harry being surrounded by Zionist but it still doesn't make me understand how people can still say that he's a good person and he's a cupcake when he's literally surrounded by the worst of the worst of the business. Azoff's horrible reputation is legendary and by everything we know Harry sought them out. We know that James Corden is a bad person and it has been said that Harry has been with him while he has ripped into a poor service worker. How can he be a good person if he just sits there and lets James berate a poor service worker? I've always been told you are the company you keep so he just confuses me. You can say that James is just a industry friend but hes constantly around him and why would he publicly be around someone that is so horrible when he's pushing the image of being kind?

I'm a Larrie but I just can't get past Harry's circle. There's not one good person around him and at the point where he's at he can change that and he chooses not to. It feels like he's willing to kiss up to Zionists as long as it advances his career. I almost feel like those pictures of him wearing the Star of David back in the day were signaling that he's ready and willing to cooperate with them as long as they can get him where he needs to go. It makes me feel very icky.

Hi again, anon!

You're welcome 💙 It’s a difficult subject, but in the end it all boils down to who you think H is as a person, what his morals are and if you trust him to make the best decisions possible in the situation he is in. I struggle with all this too. I think most of us do. It is very icky. The world is never black and white and H isn't either. You can be a good person and do bad things. If you don’t know that what you're doing is bad, if you don’t have a choice and if doing a bad thing is stopping him from having to to do something even worse, that's mitigating circumstances.

I can't tell you how you should think or feel about all this. You have your own boundaries and feelings due to who you are and your life experience. You need to make your own decision on how to feel and what to do about it.

I think H is an uneducated person who doesn’t want to offend anybody, but who values friendship and connection over politics and differences of opinon. I think H doesn’t like conflict and i think it would be difficult for him to stand up to someone older, well known with a lot of power and connections. I also don't know if they've got leverage they hold against him.

I think you need to be reminded, that when we see H he's ment to be seen. It may seem like he's around J.C. all the time, because we always see him when he is. But he's not. I think they might be friends (i hate that fact), but a lot of what we've seen the past year has been pure business and image rehab for J.C. Even if they are friends, their friendships is pushed and publicised by the media.

Harry seems like he's interested in a lot of things (aquarius) and he took interest in judaism when he first met B.W. I don't think B.W. taught him a lot of history, and he probably only got the glorifed side of Isra*l tbh. H lifting the hammer of Isra*el was H not knowing any better i believe. If he's constantly around people of the same mindset he's not going to be exposed to different perspectives and see that he's been mislead or not been told the full story.

Harry does have good people around him. His family, Louis and the members of his tour band seems like good people with no agenda and who don't do things to take advantage of him. It's his management and greedy industry people like J.C and B.W who uses him who is the problem. I wish he could ditch them all, but i don't think that's possible. So here we are.

[louisushis]

“So you’ll be wanting to know my price by now, yes?”

The barely-noticeable lilt in Louis’ voice makes Harry’s heart flutter. Ignoring what it means for him and the only reason he’s here, he looks up from his textbook currently detailing French adverbs and furrows his eyebrows. Somewhere in between the time the two began studying and now, Louis has lost his collared shirt and soft green sweater in favour of a shirt Harry recognizes as his own that’s most likely been strewn on his floor for a number of days. His lean arms are tan and strongly contrasts with the dark grey of the t-shirt, and the collar dips low enough from constant use that Harry can see a peek of the others’ collarbones.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he pouts, turning the blue pen over in circles in his hand, eyes wanting to drift back to the page. He neglects to tell Louis that he looks better than Harry does in the stupid thing than it does on himself. Louis shrugs in a careless manner, like he doesn’t really care if Harry’s actually upset about it or if he’s just teasing.

“More comfortable than my own,” is all he says, and Harry’s hopelessly endeared. He looks down and grins to himself, glancing up again at the feeling of movement on the couch and finds Louis has shifted to the cushion next to him. He looks pleased with himself, and Harry indulges.

“Yes?”

“My price, joli. Aren’t you curious?”

Harry feels himself flush. When the sessions started, Harry had had no clue that he’d ever be this close to his tutor, let alone develop a crush. To be really truthful, he thinks, when he took the recommendation from his professor, Harry was totally expecting his tutor to be another older professor. He was definitely not expecting a cute, golden, blue-eyed boy not much older than himself with an adorably high voice. Now though, when Louis is no longer lounging on the floor by Harry’s feet and instead less than six inches away from him on the couch, Harry’s flummoxed. And flustered.

From the proximity, he can feel himself breathe and in turn hear Louis’ breaths, soft and quiet in the hum of the evening light. Cars and trucks drive past each other on the street below them, mothers and fathers leaving work to pick their children up from daycare, but Harry is here, and so is Louis, and that’s all that matters. He hugs the textbook close to his chest and ignores the way the pages crunch and the way Louis looks with his eyes closed as he blinks.

“You never mentioned a price, Lou.” The name slips out from his lips without true conscious thought and he can already tell his face is a shade pinker than it was two minutes ago. Louis, however, doesn’t seem to mind. He grins wide.

“You needn’t pay more than once, H, if you like. No need to worry.” He smoothes out the wrinkle Harry knows forms on his forehead when he’s confused or worried, and he has to resist the urge to jump away. Harry opens his mouth to speak, closes it, and opens it again, truly confused.

“I can’t only pay you once, Louis. S’not fair to you, or your time.” Louis doesn’t even let him finish, quiet giggles coming from the other boy as he tilts his head to the side with a toothy smile.

“Details, details, chérie they’re so unnecessary. I rather enjoy giving you my time.”

Harry stays quiet, disgruntled at Louis’ soft refusal. He’d called him chérie, and he doesn’t know what it means, but Harry does know that joli is affectionate. Hopefully the two mean something similar.

“Louis. I really can’t just—”

Soft, warm lips are suddenly on his own, and Harry is startled into an abrupt silence. His stomach swoops pleasantly in surprise. He sits there, dumbly, as Louis presses soft kisses onto his own chapped lips, and only gets the mind to reciprocate right when the other pulls away.

“If the sentiment is shared, I’d much rather enjoy kissing the pretty English boy who doesn't understand my similarly pretty language.”

Louis whispers his confession leaning over into Harry’s personal space, too close to be considered normal, but Harry is still brimming with warmth from just the hint of Louis’ affection.

Harry blinks.

“Oh,” he breathes, reaching up and tracing his mouth with his hands. He can’t quite believe it, if he’s honest, and he can’t really focus either because his heart is doing somersaults backwards and forwards in his chest. “I’d pay it,” he whispers back.

Louis’ eyes grow wide with joy. “Yeah?” and all Harry can do is nod. He’s being hugged then, unbalanced, yet sure and strong, the warmth from the other boy making the hair around his temples curl up even more. There are kisses pressed to the top of his head, and to his cheek, and Harry feels like a bashful princess in a Disney movie. He’s breathless when Louis holds each side of his face in smaller hands and smiles dopily at him.

“Every time?” he asks. Harry takes note of his own racing heart and their pink faces and places his own kiss on Louis’ forehead. “Every time.”

— Or, Louis is a French tutor, and Harry is hopeless.

[bicrowleyaz]

Defenceless flower

I was looking for a quieter place than London to move to, until I found South Yorkshire, a county 233 kilometers from where I was staying.  That's when you ask yourself, why would I be looking for a location away from famous London?  I'd like to say that's a simple answer, but unfortunately it's not.

I'm looking for a new place to try to start over after a tragic accident that took the best and only friend I've ever had, Ron.  When we were returning from the walk we took every afternoon, after he dropped me off at my door I made the joke that I so wished I hadn't made that night.

-Bye Ron, see if you don't die huh!

-Bye Lou, I swear I'm careful!- he replied laughing as we always did, little did we know that this would be the last time we would see each other because of a disgusting guy who ran over him when he was crossing the street two blocks from my house.

A month has passed since it happened, I was in denial for the first week, I couldn't believe that my best friend was no longer there with me, but when the penny dropped I was devastated, I had never felt such an emptiness and such deafening silence which is not listening to his outrageous laugh and all those jokes with a dubious connotation every day.

I keep thinking about everything that could be different if I had called him in or if I had been in his place.  What would we be doing right now?  Would we be sitting on the couch watching that horrible series he liked and eating junk food?  Would we be on a bench near the London Eye judging the clothes of people passing by?  With an immense regret in my chest I know I won't have that answer.

On the advice of my psychologist, I decided that the best option would be to leave London for a less hectic place.  With that, I'm now leaving the airport and heading towards a taxi that would take me to my new home, a small apartment in Doncaster.  It didn't have any luxury or anything like that, but apparently it was cozy from what I saw in the photos.

-Visitor?- the gentleman who drove the car asked when we started to walk.

-Oh no!  I came from change.

-I hope you like the city, most of the young people here want to move instead of staying!-He replied with good humor.

-I imagine- I replied smiling as much as I could, he's a nice person, I don't want to be rude.

As soon as we reached the front of the building, I paid and said goodbye to the young man who I discovered was called John.  I looked at the facade of the building and remembered something Ron had told me once.

-If someday I'm not around to fill your patience, sing my favorite song!  I do it when you're away!

With that I started singing Saturdays by Louis Tomlinson who was his favorite singer, and he always said it was funny that his best friend and his favorite singer had the same name.  I thought it was a little weird.

-...We always used to say, saturdays take the pain away,

nobody stays the same, no matter how much you want it, some things change...

I started putting my things in their proper places, clothes in the closet, some pictures on the walls, my toothbrush in the bathroom.  I fixed everything humming his favorite song repeatedly until I found myself exhausted lying on the small sofa in the living room.

The next day, I woke up a little confused, not knowing exactly where I was.  I got up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed and went to do what I should have done yesterday, look for a job.  I went down the stairs and watched the tree-lined landscape of the city.  I looked for jobs everywhere I could, but none were accepting resumes.  I was thinking about giving up, letting it go, but I remembered one time when I was about to give up trying to study a subject I didn't understand at all, but Ron smacked me on the head and gave me a hard look and said if I don't try, that's where I couldn't do it anyway.  In the end, I got a higher grade than him and rubbed it in his face for a month.

I smiled remembering that, it was one of the thousands of good times I have with him.  When I was turning the corner I saw a place that caught my eye.  It was a flower shop, with a vintage look, with lots of colorful flowers on the facade.  I walked there and entered, it was as beautiful as outside, with two long corridors of colorful flowers and a very good aroma.  That place gave me an instant calm, a pure lightness.

-Hi, do you need some help?- a boy who seemed to be the same age as me came towards me, I got a little scared, but I soon recovered.  He was a little taller than me, had very dark straight hair, slightly tanned skin, slanted eyes in a honey tone, they reminded me a lot of cat eyes.

-Hi...hi, yeah, do you have openings for employees?

-Yes, we do, please accompany me- he told me with a sweet and very beautiful smile.

We got to the counter, went around the side and went into the back, he pointed me to the chair, I sat down and waited for him to do the same after getting a teapot and two cups.

-Would you like some tea?- he asked me, I nodded.  -So what's your name?  I've never seen you around here.

-My name is Louis Edwards, I just moved from London.

-Oh, a Londoner, why did you move there?  By the way, my name is Magnus Moore!- he told me smiling.

-I was looking for a quieter place, London is too busy for me.

-I see.- It seemed like he realized it was a sensitive subject for me, so much so that he was even giving me an understanding smile.  I smiled without showing my teeth in a form of silent thanks.

After that, he started asking me some questions, like my background, how many places I had worked, my age, things like that.  It turned out that we talked about other things too, trivial things, but that made me feel comfortable and welcomed, he is a very nice person.

-Do you mind starting tomorrow?

-Did I get the job?- I asked, trying to hide my excitement.

-Got Loueh!- he answered me laughing and carrying a little while saying my name.

-Wow, thank you!-I thanked him, shaking his hand.

-So, I was thinking here, since you just arrived in the city, how about we go eat something and then I can introduce you to the city, what do you think?- he asked hopefully.

-I...I, of course, why not?- I replied a little embarrassed, I'm not good at making new friends.

-Okay sir.  Edwards, let's go!- he said excitedly, grabbing his coat and leading me to the door.  I laughed at the way he called me, Ron called me that.

And so it was, following Magnus through the streets of cozy Doncaster that I began to reflect.  I will do exactly what my best friend told me to do: "live every day as if it were your last, and don't forget Loulou, always keep moving forward no matter what, I will be rooting for you!"  That's what I'm going to do, live like it's the last day of my life, I'm going to live for myself and I'm going to live for my friend, since they took his chance.

That's my story. I don't want copys, thank you.

[thebadtimewolf]

i should shut up

i can't talk about girl in the fireplace ep. i just can't. its literally just joan redfern: french edition. gorgeous scenery, lovely spacescraft, cool creatures but, madame de pompadour looked at the doctor and projected louis onto him - much to the obliviousness of the tenth doctor. what her failure in this regard is that the doctor - at the end of the day - will always think he is right and you are wrong and if you are right, then its impossible and or brilliant. A direct foil to King Louis who always thought he was wrong and relied on others based purely on shyness versus the doctor's outgoing. the doctor interjects while louis sits back. and because both reinette thought she was in the right - she failed to realize that the doctor wouldn't be like louis. louis would've stayed but, the doctor? in that year? with no tardis? surrounded by rich aristocrats that were doomed to be beheaded?

baby thats why he left gallifrey in the first place and they were worse!

reinette would've been abandoned before she could do any thing remotely romantic with him even if there was no way back for him.

he would be stuck but, that romance? would've been the same romance as jessica rabbit and marvin acme from who framed roger rabbit (aka literally playing the game patty cake), much to reinette's growing irritated frustration. even reinette had to kiss him (yeah he kissed back blah blah but this is twice for ten someone that wasn't rose herself kissing him and yes, a cassandra!possessed rose isnt rose. neither is a tardis!possessed rose kissing nine. i want genuine rosenine and roseten alienhuman kisses ya cowards!) and at that point of the season, if anything, only reinette would've shoved it into romance. ten showed time and time again that he is fine with not kissing (unless the impenting threat of a situation that requires it because he loves running his mouth more)

just like joan, reinette was never a contender. sad that she died, yes, sad that she left the letter we got to hear from dw: lockdown, yes. but if it had been beyond that? her traveling with him? in the show? girl wouldve been given the cold shoulder fast and swift. just like rose got mickey to catch on what they actually do when landing somewhere and dr runs off, it would be rose telling reinette what to really do to be a fellow seasoned dr travelling company.

by the time reinette would've gotten the hang of it with help, queen elizabeth i would've been had armies on her side with no help. just like in the 50th. thats the difference between being an historical advisor slash mistress who wouldve been treated just like how she saw those "little girls" (but in the doctor's case, she would've been dropped off in the middle of 2005 toys r' us christmas night and dipped for nearly 7 hours) and the most notable headstrong queen that (like heavily implied by everyone including ten himself) was able to not only get the doctor to consentually go all the way but, didn't demean other travellers thst were with him (travellers that were romantically in favor of him. also she journed missy's chat room and im just like! my oldest best friend-boyfriend versus the time lord king of england and scotland like she got bragging rights)

ten really said i'll fuck a royal conqueror before i even have one out our three quarters of a thought to even consider the possibility of fucking reinette. it took me to the point of marrying off my now-a-person hand to rose to even consider settling down with her when previous comics showed i would be more than happy to settle down with lucita marne (a witch), dr. grace holloway, and river song thrice (?) at a drop of a hat of my own alien volition.

like reinette? are you not embarrassed? ten saw reinette as a good 1600s 1700s flirt of a time and only flirting. like its second hand embarassment but worse because they really thought they were right. i think thats why ppl dont like reinette or rather how moffat writes dr x historical female figure romance.

chibnall did better on dr x historical female figure romance and still retained thasmin whereas moffat failed in this regard. he did get better with capaldi but only with 12 x river than etd ever did with rose x 9 x ten x tentoo (im saying we shouldve gotten tentoo earlier in torchwood and had episodes not just BOOM INSTANT ATTRACTION IMMEDIATELY JUST LIKE ROSE DID WITH JACK AND ADAM LIKE NO BIG DEAL SURELY THIS WONT GO WRONG AGAIN?? CROSS FUNGERS THAT HE DONT DIE LIKE THE OTHERS EHEHE 'does it need saying' FUCK YOU DOCTORROSE SHIPPERS????

we deserve better than time skips and montages if you're going build it up to a non possessed rose kiss and its not with the alien she had to be possessed by two different mind-killing entities to smooch? on the mouth? (yes i remembered nine's proud fatherly forehead kiss he gave rose) like cmon now. how you set up everybody else to be the monsterfucker but when it came down to it, she chose the human?

like. im immensely disappointed in reinette but, thats joan redfern in french so, we get what we got. but its ugh the only ones we know canonically chose and fucked the monster who is the dr while they were essentially the human in the scenario is queen elizabeth i. and river. nefertiti. the iconique matilda the painter and a king louis ii mistress unnamed. and cameca from the aztecs?? yeah. thats it really. maybe marilyn monroe. maybe cleopatra (though its implied by mickey and rose in school reunion that we were robbed of an strictly egypt adventure) and maybe... thinly veiled, charley and yaz?

yeah i can't talk about girl in the fireplace. i can't talk about stone rose because the bbc cut out a whole portion of the book in the audio that david read and im more upset over that.

[kingdomsqueendomkimgme]

Long live the king - Louis x reader pt.2

This is part 2. I really hope yall like it ^^

Word count: 2247

Kingdom Masterlist

Pt.1

Louis Pov.

We all were ahooked when our enemies got send flying and knocked out from her powers. //she can't control them which means she doesn't know anything about them..// we all turned to her looking if she was alright only to run towards her to stop her from hitting the ground. I used my time control to stop time and get faster to her. After I let time go normal again, I catched her just before her head could hit the ground.

"Should we bring then to the Hotel or should we take them to the Palace?" Dann asked. I picked the girl up "we'll bring them to the Palace, it's to dangerous to let then stay at the hotel." I said. And added "and Mujin, Jahan. Please get their things from the hotel, they'll stay at the palace for the time being" both of them nodded and made their way to the Hotel. While the rest of us took both of them back to the Palace.

Time skip next day in the Palace.

We brought everyone of them in their own rooms and I ordered each 4 guards to watch them.

I was awake the whole night. Thinking about possible ways to find out how much of Jaehyns people are here. //damn we need to keep them save. And now that they have their proof that she's the one their searching for its even more dangerous... why do I care about that??..// I sighted, run a hand over my face and looked out the window..... // I need to ask Dann what that feeling is.. sometimes I really hate my dad for raising me like this...// I got up and got charged, just as I was about to leave my room the door banged open "she's awake sir." The guard said. I looked at him " Ok I'll be right there" He nodded and disappeared again. // I'll ask Dann later about it.// I went to her room and knocked. I silent 'come in' came and I stepped in the room. Two of our maids helped her sitting up "Good morning your majesty, she weaker then we thought she would be. She can barely walk on her on. We helped her change out of the clothes from yesterday and helped her cleaning herself. We'll go and make her breakfast." They both putted the last cushions behind her back, bowed to both of us and left.

"How are you feeling?" I stepped closer to the bed and sat on the chair next to it " it's ok, I just feel so tired but I can't sleep. And I have a light headache" she smiled at me "Thank you for saving me" //shes so pretty and her smile is cute. What am I thinking?// I smiled slightly back "no need to thank us, btw what is your name?" She looked at me titled her head slightly. "OH I'm really sorry.. my name is Y/N, Y/N L/N" "pretty name. Fits you" she blushed looked down to her hands. I chuckled. Just as I was to say something else someone knocked the door "Your majesty ? Y/N ? Can we come in we have the breakfast finished. " "You can come in" I said, stood up and opened the door for them since I know they tend to slightly make to much food for one person or also in general. And as I thought it's more of a buffet for 10 people then for one. "You know she probably won't eat that much." One of them turned to me and smiled "oh its not just for her, it's also for you your majesty, since her best friend was awake earlier then her he already got breakfast" I nodded and went to the chair next to her bed again. The build up a bedtable so she would have to leave bed while I stayed at the table next to the bed.

As they have sat the last plate down, I dismissed them and they left the room again.

"That is really a lot" I heard next to me. " That's normal. You don't have to eat everything, the rest will be Givin for the breakfast round for those people on town who can't afford as much as we do, so there won't go anything to waste." She looked at me and smiled again "I really wish it be everywhere like this" with that she began to eat and so did I.

The breakfast was one of the nicest I've had in a long time shes really bubbly which is a change from most of the other people I've met. As we talked about a lot of things one thing got my attention the most which was her interest in History, myths, rumors and fairytales of different cultures. That's also when I found out the truth about their lost being the day before. " and ill be honest with you we didn't really got lost, we found something that I wanted to know if it was true. But he definitely hadn't the intention to break thing or steal things." I was first confused " what do you mean by that.? What exactly did you find?" She then took out a old letter and handed it me. "I Asked the maids to give me the letter from my backpack before. I don't like lying to people especially since you saved my life." I looked at the letter then back at her " There is something described in the letter and I wanted to know if it's true." She looked down.

I opend the letter after a few more seconds of looking at her. I read the letter and then realized what letter it was " how did you get that letter" she looked at me now fear in her eyes. Yes I was angry but not at her. "W-we got that from Birans dad, his dad has gotten the letter from a friend of his" I took a deep breath "first of all sorry I didn't mean to scare you and secondly the letter got stolen a few weeks ago. It was never supposed to leave the Palace.. if not you but someone else would have gotten their hands on the letter we all would be in deep trouble." I ran a hand trough my hair. And watched her closely, she relaxed again. "I'm sorry.." she mumbled and looked down. "It's ok, I mean you didn't knew. " I reached out to her and padded her head. She looked up at me and in that moment I knew I still had a heart because it broke at the sight of her crying. I sad down on the bed next to her "Hey why are you crying?" I looked in her eyes " I- it's just that since I lost my parents everything I do is wrong in everyone's eyes.... and it's even worse when I do mistakes like this..." I was shooked at least to say " It's not your fault, and I'm not mad I promise" she nodded and I took her in my arms where I rested my head kn top of hers..//seems like she's been trought a lot...// " you don't ever need to be scared of me ok?" I felt her nod. I held her for a long time more.

She fell asleep again so I laid her down and put the blanket over her. I made sure to call the guards back and the maids to clean her room.

After that I went off to find Dann and ask him about what feeling I was having when I'm with her.

Time skip evening.

Y/N Pov.

I woke up and looked around. I was still in the room, I must have fallen asleep again. I thought about what happend and blushed madly. //oh shit...that's do embarrassing... but I felt comforteble with the king... weird I know...// I took a look out of the window.. It was slowly getting dark... I looked at my phone which charged on the nightstand. 05.37pm.... //theres no way im going back to sleep...// I stood up, feeling how my legs didn't really have any strengh, I still kept going, I had a really bad feeling and wanted to see King Louis. I slowly opened the door and saw that the guards wheren't there. //no no no thats bad really bad...// Panic began to slowly run trough my veins.. //shit. shit, shit. I need to find him.// I tried to walk faster and it worked, probably because of the adrenaline. I saw a door slightly open. At this point I was already running. and the figure that has been standing infront of one of the windows didnt do any help to my Panic and fear. I heard two voices, one that I didn't know and //Louis!// I reached for the door and then I felt super light headed //Now I know why I was told to stay in bed fuck// Again I fell, just this time I stayed conscious, bad thing I fell trought the door and it banged open. I couldn't move to see who was in the room so I stayed on the floor.

"Y/N!!!" I heard foodsteps coming closer. I felt two arms pulling me slightly up. "Why aren't you in bed, how you were told to??!!" he was angry i could tell even thought he spoke calmy the tone in his voice showed that he was anrgy. "Louis calm down and maybe at least get her on a chair insted of letting her on the cold floor" The other one spoke //Damns their all pretty handsome wtf// Louis liftet me up and put me on one of the couch chairs in the room.

"Dann can you please close the door?" The other nodded and did what Louis asked him for. Dann also gave me a glass of water and Louis a blanket, then both of them got a better look on me and their eyes widden in shook "Y/N what happend? why are you so paniced?" Dann asked I looked at him both of them crouched down on each side of the chair. "I- there was no one in front of my door and there was wśomeone at the window. I got scared and yeah..." I looked down at the glass "Wait there was no on infront of your door?" Louis asked and i shook my head. "Wait, there were supposed to be two gurads." Dann said and looked at Louis. "Could you make anything out what the person from the window looked like or did you see something that you remember?" I tought "He had something red on but I couldn't see more. " Dann nodded "I go get the others to search for the guards and maybe some glues on who that was. It would be better if she'd stay with you for this night" He clealry ment it more as an order then a request but Louis agreed with him. With that Dann went out of the room closing the door behind him. now i was alone with Louis. "I'm sorry..." I looked at the glass again. "It nohing to be sorry about you helpt us finding the traitors." "But now i have to stay here and I'll defenetly be a bother to you." he looked at me confused "Your not a bother to me" I looked up. "I'm not? Are you sure?" He smiled and nodded "I'm 100% sure" I smiled at him. "So are you hungry?" "No not really.. But I'm also not tired" He stood up from his crouched position next to me and went to his book shelfe... "I know your intersted in the history of this Castle and town so if we really won't go to sleep today, I figured we can just read some of the books that were written a few thousend years ago, their still in very good condition so you don't need to worry about breaking one of them unless you use a lot of strength. " He chuckeld //I wish he would laught a bit more it sounds so good and suits him more then this cold face expretion he has all the time.// I smiled "That sounds nice" He came back with a few books "Here this aren't all of them but I think for now it should be alright" I looked at the books with sparkling eyes "Which onr do you want to read first?" I Looked at the books and a red one catched my eyes, I pointed at it and he handed it to me. "You seem to like dark red pretty much" He smiled, I looked up "Yes its my favorite color" His smile grew a bit bigger "Nice choice". He picked me up and walkeed over to his Kings size bed. After he putted me down he went into the bthroom the was for the room. After he came back he had normal clothes on and set down next to me. "Are you ok with me being here or do you want me to sit on the chair?" I looked at him " Of couse its ok. Why shouldn't it be?" He shurged "Maybe you would feel uncomfofŕtable? IDK" He mde himselfe comfortable and I scutted a bit closer to him. We made ourselfes comfortable and began to read the book at some parts I asked him questions too undertsand it better and he always explaint everything for to me.

[twopoppies]

After Harry’s better homes and gardens interview, I’ve taken some time to think about some of the things said and the reactions to it.

1) This discourse that’s become quite popular lately about queer people needing to be out, and how liberating it is to be out, is such a cishet and/or privileged narrative. I get so mad whenever people mention it.

First I think the background on why there is so much focus on coming out is a cishet thing. Coming out has become such a glorified thing. And I think the main reason for this is, it’s the part where cishets get to be apart of the experience. Now they have the knowledge of who or what another person identifies as and therefore gets to feel like they have the right to insert themselves in other peoples feelings.

Sexuality and identity is so personal. Being out in - let’s be realistic here - most cultures and countries, will mean you get in the best case scenario looked down upon and rejected from friends and family, and worst case you get abused, tortured and even killed. And before any person comes for me, yes I know there are people who get accepted by friends and family, most do not. And when we take a look into the celebrity world and the statements that have been made from and about queer people, we know that his industry has a reputation of looking down upon and excluding openly queer people.

Personally I’m actually kind of a fan of Harry not sharing his sexuality openly with the world. He does not owe anyone coming out especially after what he has been through such scrutiny from the public. Everything from his sex life to his fav colour has been discussed publicly. And even if he hadn’t had all of this public scrutiny he does not owe anyone a coming out, just consider how most of the world perceives queer people. Him getting to keep this part of himself to himself and the people closest to him is quite meaningful.

2) Harry’s self awareness

This has so many layers, but in all I think we can all learn a lot from Harry.

He shows how much he takes stock of where he is and how he can better himself. This, to me, has some roots from how reflective he is over every little thing he does. And you can see the fruits of his reflections, from his public performances and how he used to lose his breath when singing his solo in wmyb, to nailing it in front of a 100 000 people at Coachella. Or from how he sees he made his worst music when he’s trying to get a single to figuring out how he’s really good at bringing people together and create together with others.

He’s teaching us to learn from the past, live in the moment and plan for the future. This is where we can all learn so much from Harry.

3) Harry and Louis deciding to be good and stay humble on the x factor.

This part is not talked about enough. How from such a young age he decided part of his identity is to stay nice and humble towards everyone he comes across. Because he saw/heard how unfairly celebrities treated other people, and not wanting to be part of that. The biggest part I took away is how once again Harry is described as nothing but nice and an overall good human being.

4) The music industry

This part kills me. I know we’ve talked about this for ages, but hearing him actually confirm the cleanliness clause, and compare his own situation to the Britney documentary. How he and all the boys were dolls puppets, who had little control over where they could sit, talk or even how they could express themselves without repercussions.

5) Still just as domestic

This part in the article: “So he used lockdown to commit to being a better friend, son, brother. He pushed himself to confront things he hadn't brought up, had many long, honest chats. And like most people who found themselves suddenly very, very inside, he thought a lot about the idea of home—about belonging, peace, sanctuary. "I realized that that home feeling isn't something that you get from a house; it's more of an internal thing. You realize that when you stop for a minute," he said.”

Of course he had to bring up feeling home. And how throughout his discography he’s described his love as the feeling of home. Yes Harry we know you’re in love, you domestic little shit *affectionate*.

6) My takeaways

It was so nice to read a quite honest piece about Harry after such a long time. Something that feels real, and not so staged.

Harry having chosen better homes and gardens for this interview also seems very deliberate, in how he not only gets his message out to a bigger audience. Also it doesn’t seem like this magazine has any real connections to the music industry, so to me this feels a lot more free in the way Harry is able to express himself, without being subjected to questions related to eg. stunts.

I will say this to me it feels like Harry is sharing so much of himself, and given how he discussed how much he likes his privacy, this feels quite intimate, at least in a psychological way. I’m not sure how I feel about this, as I’ve seen way to many fans feel entitled to know everything there is to know about Harry.

I love how it takes us through the journey on how Harry came to make this album and some of his feeling behind the album.

As I said we can all learn something from Harry, if it is to reflect over your situation and do something about it, instead of blaming everything around you, take responsibility for the things you can do. Or to be more kind and loving to the people we surround overselves with. Or to appreciate the domestic feelings.

P.S. Gina, I love your fic recs and how reflective and intelligent you are. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, but please don’t feel pressured to answering me/posting this. Sending you lots of love!

Hi darling. Thank you so much for this. I wish I had thoughts that improved upon or added to it, but I just completely agree with you. It’s the best interview with him I think I’ve ever read.

[alltheselights]

Hi. I like your loyalty to Louis when so many of his supposed fans turn on him in a second and treat his career like it's some sort of optional extra, so I admit I was pretty disappointed to see you joining in the OTT slagging off of Louis on Twitter about manspreading. Funnily enough. I read a random ask from a physio Louie a week or so ago postulating that Louis has some hyperextension of his joints and that, to paraphrase them, 'could make it uncomfortable or even painful to keep his legs together for long'. Which was naturally a big joke at the time but I didn't expect to see Louies never mind Harries and antis attacking him so nastily for it. Louis is a very considerate person I hope you'd agree, so in my view at least he's not manspreading to try to outmacho the room or because he's ignorant or uncaring of other people. It's funny how fast Larries are to attack him when they contort into pretzels to make excuses for Harry and go to the ends of the earth to support him. We're threatening boycotts of Louis, barely even streaming his song and looking for reasons to tear him down.

Oh, boy. Let me address the things you mention here.

1) Yeah, you actually don’t get to invent new medical problems for Louis based on what a random ask says regardless of what their profession is.

2) I wasn’t “slagging” Louis off, I was saying that I thought he could improve the way he sits in interviews because it can come across as disrespectful and make people uncomfortable.

3) Louis is absolutely a considerate person. Even considerate people can do things that are inconsiderate, especially if they don’t realize that they’re being inconsiderate. People are very nuanced, you might notice, and nobody is perfect. I suspect Louis would agree if you asked him.

4) I don’t know why you’re talking about a bunch of things that some Larries do when I don’t do any of the things you mentioned.

Let me repeat what I just said in CuriousCat on Twitter. Please forgive my harshness because this was not directed at you, but it summarizes my thoughts.

Please stop being chronically online and realize that nobody is "judging" him, people are pointing out that it's disrespectful to spread your legs that widely in any professional setting. Other people are not interested in being exposed to a full view of your crotch. This applies to you and Louis and every other person on earth. This is simply a fact. A regular person would not spread their legs that widely in a workplace setting and Louis shouldn't either. I have a job and I work with men and I know what respectable workplace behavior is. It says a lot that this fandom apparently doesn't, but I digress.

This is even more important when there's a female interviewer sitting a few feet away - and one who, in this particular case, took note of how widely he was spreading his legs and has liked at least ten tweets about it. It's alarming that you guys would rather Louis spread his legs as widely as he desires in any setting even when it's clearly not appropriate and get called out for it by interviewers and others than to correct the behavior just slightly to be respectful to the people near him. Nobody said he can't spread his legs! But if you think it's necessary for him to spread them as far apart as he did in that interview, you're lying to yourself.

People criticizing Louis and pointing out unprofessional behavior isn't hate. It's honestly no wonder that things are the way that they are with Louis' career when he has a useless, lazy team and a fandom so fragile that people like yourself can't even deal with the slightest, most reasonable criticism to him without lashing out, spending three hours ratioing people instead of streaming his music or doing something productive, and accusing fans like myself, who has supported Louis for 10 years and spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on him, of hating him. He deserves better.

So grow the fuck up. Touch grass and recognize that Louis does not exist in a fandom bubble with people who adore him for everything he does. He exists in reality. If you showed that video to any random person, they might say that it was excessive, unprofessional, and uncomfortable. There are hundreds of fans who have commented on it both on Twitter and Tumblr. Being so fantatical and unhinged that you can't handle even slight criticism from people who love and support Louis does not benefit him and does not benefit the fandom.

It says SO MUCH that Louis' fans rarely successfully ratio people spreading disgusting lies about him or insulting his voice and appearance, but you can always manage to spend hours of your time ratioing fellow Louies for high crimes such as suggesting that Louis sit more respectfully in interviews or suggesting that Louis not swear in radio and TV interviews where both he and the show can be fined for it or suggesting that Louis smoking actually isn't hot and sexy since he's cutting both his career and life short with that behavior. You certainly have priorities, but it's engagement in the fandom, not actually supporting or showing care for Louis and his career.

Yes, Louis is an adult. Yes, Louis can and will do what he wants. I recognize that, but I also recognize that i have the right as a fan to offer constructive criticism even if he'll never see it or listen to it or care about it. You can ratio me a million times, you can send me asks like this, you can tell me to unstan, you can call me names, you can do whatever the fuck you want, but I won't stop because I actually do want the best for Louis.

[raysofcrosby]

WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU – m. tkachuk

part twenty-six – YOU ARE THE REASON

warning(s): language

summary: while he doesn’t want to, matt fulfills caroline’s request and takes time to decide whether he wants to have a life with her and ethan or to take the out she gave him. caroline has second thoughts about her proposition, while she and ethan are still having trouble adjusting to matt’s absence. it’s time for game six– an important game to both brothers– one wins and one looses, but at the end of the night, there’s still an important decision to be made and the choice could make or break everything.

word count: 15,645

an: hello, we’ve reached the finale of whatever life throws at you and my heart is so full but also very sad. but whoops there will definitely be some extra bonus chapters of some things down the years for caroline, ethan. and matt. also, yes this chapter is inspired by the song ‘you are the reason’ so take that as you will as to how this series ends. be sure to stay tuned for the epilogue! 🥰

⇠ previous part • playlist • series masterlist • join the series taglist •  next part ⇢

It was hard for Matt to be home in St. Louis those next three days. Sure, he was able to see and spend time with his family, Ethan, and Caroline– but it was nothing like it was in Calgary. Not only did they lose that first game, but post-game when he and Brady went to meet up with their family, there was no greeting Caroline with a sneaky kiss or a hug that lingered just a little too long and was a little too close– there was only a hug and a good game before they got caught up in conversation. He promised her he would do it– take a few days to think it out, though the moment he saw them walk through security, he wanted to buy a ticket just to get through and tell her that he thought about it, and it was her– he wanted to settle down with her.

But he promised that he would do it, so he tried to stick it out the next few days.

They had a day off and Matt invited some of his teammates over to his parent's house for a nice home-cooked dinner, courtesy of his Mom and Mrs Susan. A good amount took him up on his offer, especially the ones whose families didn’t fly in to watch them play and it was a much-needed day off. Ethan was in his element, trying to get them all to play hockey down in the basement or spent most of the time picking their minds for whatever hockey knowledge he could soak up. More than a few times Caroline had to tell him to reel it in, but the guys assured her that Ethan was fine and that they enjoyed getting to know mini-Chucky better and being around kids was always a fun time for them. Ethan even went as far as to invite the players to stay the night so they could all hang out at Matt’s parents’ place– but Matt and Caroline both shut him down, resulting in Ethan giving off a dramatic sigh and calling them boring.

Matt thought that arriving in St. Louis and not being able to greet her the way he wanted to, was bad. At least until the time came for the end of the second game in St. Louis and he had to say goodbye to them all right there in the hallway. It was hard to stay on that winning high when he knew that he wouldn’t be able to see them in person again until game six when the Flames would be back in his hometown. He wanted to tell her then and there that he thought it out (he hadn’t) and that he was one hundred percent sure that he was ready to settle down in a life with her whenever she was ready (he was), but he knew that she wouldn’t accept it. He always knew he was stubborn, but he wasn’t the only one who passed down their stubbornness to Ethan.

On the flight back home, while most of the team was either facetiming family, playing cards, sleeping, or watching movies on their phones– Matt was sitting in his chair, messaging with Ethan as he stared out the airplane window and at the night sky as he saw the three gray circles pop up as Ethan typed up a reply.

“What the fuck was that?” Sam asked, plopping down in the empty seat next to Matt that he had previously abandoned for cards.

“I’m going to need you to clarify because I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Matt replied, looking at him.

“Whatever was going on between you and Caroline in the hall after the game,” Sam said, waving his hand nonchalantly. “It definitely wasn’t the handsy kind of stuff you thought you were being sneaky about at that dinner when they were in Calgary. What’d you do to mess it up this time? It’s only been what? Four days?”

Matt sighed, leaning in his seat. “She gave me an out.”

“What the hell is that?”

“Saturday after the game, Annalee showed up and just ran up and kissed me. Care saw it and I think it freaked her out a bit. She says it didn’t...but things were good before that. I mean, she still said she wasn’t interested in a relationship until she figured out some stuff, but they were still good.” Matt replied, looking down at the screen to see the three gray dots had disappeared, so he locked his phone.

“So she saw crazy Annalee and now a relationship is out of the question?” Sam asked, furrowing his brows. “I thought you said you told her about the hookups.”

“I did and she doesn’t care about them. I also told her I had ended things with Annalee last year and I think she believed that too, but then with Annalee showing up, I think it just made everything real. It’s one thing for me to tell her I had multiple hookups the last eight years, but it’s another thing to see one right in front of you after having our...situation be what it is.”

“Okay, I get that, but I’m still confused.” Sam took a sip of his water, shaking his head. “What’s an out?”

“An out,” Matt sighed, digging his hands into his hoodie pockets now that he had changed out of his suit. “Is Care basically letting me decide whether I really want to settle down or if I want to keep living the bachelor life. I guess seeing Annalee made her realize just how little time had passed since I was doing the whole hookup thing and she thinks that I’m only interested in being with her because of Ethan.”

Sam nodded, shrugging as he settled into his seat. “It makes sense.”

“How?” Matt asked, looking at Sam as if he had to heads. “How in any capacity does that make sense when all I’ve told her for the last three or four months is that I want to be with her and that it took me two years to even get over our breakup, let alone even think about being with another girl?”

“Think about it, Chucky. You spend however long hooking up with multiple women, sometimes even having a main girl in whatever city. Then now all of a sudden you not only find out you have a son, but now you’re dead set on setting down and practically getting married when a year ago you were ending a seven-month hook-up. And technically, you were only five months done with Annalee when you saw Caroline again. It’s natural for her to be a little cautious. I know I would be.”

“But I told her that I’ve still had feelings for her all these years,” Matt huffed, turning in his seat towards Sam. “It’s not just because of Ethan—“

“How sure are you though?” Sam asked. “I mean, how do you know that you’re not wanting to settle down with her because you want to be in Ethan’s life and you’re worried that if you’re not with her that way, then you won’t be?”

Matt just blinked at him, saying nothing. It wasn’t so much that he was worried if he wasn’t with Caroline that he wouldn’t have a big role in Ethan’s life because he knew that he would no matter their relationship status. But now, the reasoning behind the out Caroline was giving him was starting to be a lot more clear.

“Cause dude, you literally grew up in that idyllic family, you know? Mom, Dad, two siblings. Both of your parents were involved in your lives and sports. I’m sure you want to be the kind of Dad and overall parent to Ethan that your parents were to you, Brady and Taryn. And I’m sure that’s probably what Caroline was thinking when she gave you the out. She doesn’t want you to think you have to be with her out of obligation.”

“I mean, that makes sense…but I told her I still have those feelings—“

“But you’re not the same people anymore, Chucky. You guys grew up. So who are those feelings for? The Caroline you knew eight years ago? Or the Caroline now?” Sam asked, digging into his pocket and grabbing some packaged peanuts. “That’s what she’s wanting to make sure. At least I think it is. That could just be something the two of you figure out once you think through this out she’s giving you.”

“I don’t even want to do it, think about the out,” Matt replied, shrugging his shoulders. “But I guess it’s something I’ll do if she wants me to. I don’t know what there is to think about.”

“Literally every single thing I just told you, doofus,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes as he opened the peanuts and tossed one into his mouth as he shook his head. “Geez, mess this up and you might as well be handing her out on a silver platter.”

Matt rolled his eyes, nudging Sam. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Just saying,” Sam joked, holding his hands up in defense. “I would be a great step-dad.”

“Go back to cards before I kick–”

“Relax, Chucky,” Sam laughed, patting him on the shoulders. “She’s all yours. Besides, from what I noticed at that party, you’re the only one she’s got her eyes on. Well, besides Marky. But hey, even Emma was looking at him and she’s engaged. Guy’s Swedish, he’s got great genes.”

So that’s what he did. Matt took the time to try and think about whatever Caroline wanted him to think about from the moment Sam left the seat next to him to go play Cards again, even continuing up to two days when his parents and Taryn were back in Calgary to come watch the Flames win game five. But the night before game five, when Matt housed his parents and Taryn in his apartment with Taryn sleeping out in the living room, he was only six days into Caroline’s request and he still wasn’t sure what the hell he was supposed to do. His Mom and Taryn were down at the pool, spending some time in the hot tub, while Matt and his Dad were up in his apartment.

Matt had just finished hanging up on a facetime call with Ethan when his Dad came out of the guest room, already dressed for bed before heading into the kitchen to grab the box of pizza they’d picked up on the way home– pizza Matt didn’t need to eat but was going to anyway. “Ethan says hi and told me to tell you that he wants to stay over soon.”

“I’m sure Caroline needs the break,” his Dad laughed, placing the pizza box down on the table in front of them. “He’s on constant go nowadays, especially since there’s no hockey going on and you’re not around. Plus, he’s still not quite off the hook for getting suspended yet.”

“Knowing Care, he won’t be off the hook until he’s 18,” Matt laughed, taking the plate his Dad put a slice on. “Or ever, really.”

His Dad chuckled and nodded his head as he grabbed his own slice of pizza. “Have you talked to her?”

“Care?” Matt asked, taking a bite of his pizza as he shrugged. “I mean, in background conversations when I’m facetime Ethan, but not on our own. Not since I dropped you guys all off at the airport. We’re kind of...doing a thing, right now and I guess part of it is just taking our time apart for a bit.”

His Dad chewed his bite of pizza slowly as if he was contemplating what to say or even just taking in what Matt had said. “What are you doing?”

“Huh?” Matt asked, looking around to make sure his Dad wasn’t talking to anyone else.

“I said, what are you doing?” His Dad replied, placing his plate down on top of the pizza box. “You do realize that you dropped us off at the airport six days ago, right? And if you do realize that, that means that you’ve gone six days without as much as talking to Caroline. Which, for two people who clearly have some things to talk about and work through, seems like the exact opposite of what you should be doing.”

Matt sighed, leaning his head back against the couch. “I know, but–”

“Clearly, you don’t know because unless the two of you are able to communicate without actually talking to each other, then I’d say that you’re not communicating, which means that you don’t know what you’re doing or supposed to be doing to make whatever is going on between the two of you.”

“Can I at least explain what’s going on before you go all Dad on me?” Matt replied, sitting back up as he turned towards his Dad, who was nodding. “So last season, I was involved with a girl, but I ended it when the season ended. Come October when I got injured, she showed up at my apartment that night I was leaving and I told her again that we were done because she thought we were just taking a break. Well, she showed up after the game when Care was here and Care saw her kiss me–”

His Dad sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Matthew–”

“I swear Dad, it’s not what you’re thinking. I didn’t try to pursue something with Care with Annalee back here. She just...she showed up again and I told her again that we were done and it sunk this time, but also I think it scared Care. She shut off the rest of the night and then the next day at the airport when we were talking, she said she was giving me an out. A chance to decide whether or not I really want to live the bachelor life or if I’m one hundred percent sure that I want to be with her, not just because of Ethan.”

His Dad just sat there, chewing his bite of pizza and nodding. He took a sip of his drink before looking at Matt. “So that’s what you’ve been doing the last six days? Trying to figure out whether or not you want to keep living the single life or if you want to be with Caroline?”

“I’ve been trying to, yeah,” Matt nodded, taking another bite of his pizza. “She told me to take a few days.”

His Dad wiped his hands off in his napkin before putting his plate back down onto the box. “Mind if I give you some advice?”

“Please,” Matt nodded.

“You need to get your head out of your ass. There is absolutely no reason why you should be sitting here sulking on your couch– and before you even cut me off and say you’re not sulking, yes, you are. There is no logical reason, besides excuses, for you to be sitting on this out she’s giving you for six days.” Matt felt like he was a kid again, getting scolded by his Dad for something that he did. “You are a 26-year-old grown man, Matthew. There’s not much that I can tell you to do, but I can step in and try and steer you away from making a really dumb decision, so that’s what I’m going to do. What are you going to do?”

“What?”

“What are you going to do?” His Dad asked, turned towards him fully. “You’ve had six days to decide and I’m not letting you sabotage the relationship you and Caroline have because you’re ‘trying’ to think about whether or not you want a genuine, loving relationship with Caroline or you’d rather continue having hookups. What are you going to do? What have you decided?”

Matt took another bite of pizza, using the food to take some extra time for himself and his answer. It wasn’t a hard answer, he knew what he was going to say and he’s known it since Caroline gave him the chance to think about it. Sure, he did genuinely think about it– the two different lifestyles and how with one meant that there were things he couldn’t have that he had with the other. But even then, it didn’t matter to him, because he was done with the hookups and coming home to an empty house after road trips or the late-night celebrations when he didn’t bring anyone back with him. He saw teammates get engaged, married, and start their own families. And while he knew that was something that he was wanting, he was even more sure of it now that that’s what he wanted– that stability, that for sure family outside of his own.

“Of course it’s her,” Matt said, looking at his Dad. “I’d always choose her and I’d love to be with her and Ethan if that’s what she wants.”

His Dad leaned forward and picked up his pizza again, nodding his head. “Then why don’t you tell her that, hm? Instead of dragging this out and the both of you going insane, why don’t you tell her that you don’t need to take time to know what you want.”

Matt nodded, taking another bite of his pizza. “Can I do it in person though? We kind of made an agreement on how I’d let her know.”

His Dad rolled his eyes and laughed. “I really will never understand your generation.”

She was now one hundred percent convinced that she was an idiot and it was the worst decision ever to give Matt an out– or to even suggest that he needed one. Caroline would be the first to say that she wanted him to genuinely take his time and think it through– whether or not he wanted to be with her and not just because of Ethan, or if he wanted to go back to the single bachelor life he was living before. But after saying goodbye to Matt for the second time before he and the Flames flew back to Calgary to prepare for game five– she was absolutely miserable.

More than once since that original goodbye in the airport, she’d actually considered texting or calling Matt and calling it off– telling him that he didn’t need to think about it, that she was being unreasonable and she knew that even after all of the times he’d told her before, all those times that he said he wanted to be with her– that he was genuine and truthful.

And if she thought she was hiding just how miserable she was, she was mistaken. Because that night after game three, Taryn had suggested that Ethan stay with either of the Grandparents tonight and she, Emma, and Caroline have a nice little girls' night at Caroline’s place. A night that was filled with wine, cheesy rom-coms, and pizza they had ordered in, it was something that Caroline hadn’t realized she needed to get her mind off of the big mistake she made and that was no doubt, soon going to be reaping consequences in the way of Matt choosing opposite of what she wanted him to.

“Childhood best friends who grow apart and lead different lives, only for them to come back together and live happily ever after?” Emma smiled, looking at Taryn as the title screen for 13 Going On 30 appeared on the screen. “Are we going for a theme with this one?”

“Oh no, it’s purely coincidental,” Taryn smiled, bringing her wine glass to her lips. “Totally not digging at my older brother and Line or anything. Nope, couldn’t be me.”

Caroline rolled her eyes, waving at the screen with her slice of pizza. “On with the movie, I need to see a happy ending where someone doesn’t die in the end.”

“Hey, they died together at an old age, okay?” Emma replied, pointing a cheese stick at her. “She remembered him in the end, that’s all that matters. True love conquers all.”

“Speaking of true love,” Taryn added, swallowing her bite of pizza. “Is there anything you’d love for me to pass onto my darling older brother when I fly out with Mom and Dad tomorrow?”

Caroline shook her head. “We’re not exactly talking right now.”

Emma and Taryn both looked at her at the same time, each with the same unamused look on their faces. “What could possibly be going on now? Was he a dick after that whole girl running up to him in the hallway after the game? Because if he was, just let me know and I’ll–”

“Wait, what girl?” Emma asked, looking at Taryn. “The game when we went up to Calgary? What happened? Is that why you didn’t come back up with everyone?”

“One of Matt’s old hookups from last season was waiting in the hallway after game two,” Caroline replied, holding onto her wine glass. “She ran up and kissed him, I saw it and needed some air, so I left.”

“That’s pretty ballsy of her,” Emma scoffed, eyes widening after a moment as she gasped softly. “Does that mean he was still with her when you and Matt–”

“No, no he wasn’t. According to him, he ended it last season and she just never got a clue. But still…”

“It was enough to make you doubt,” Emma sighed, pouring more wine into all three of their cups. “So when did you last talk?”

“The airport when he dropped us all off. When we were talking while everyone else was waiting by security, I gave him an out. That if he wanted to keep living the single life, he could and if he wanted to really be with me, then that’s even better. But I want him to be sure about it.” She looked down at her wine glass, tracing the rim with her left index finger. “I don’t want him to think he has to be with me, just because of Ethan...you know? I want him to genuinely want to be with me, that he wants to settle down, so whenever I figure everything out...he doesn’t feel pressured to stick with me.”

“It’s understandable, Caroline, really...it is,” Emma nodded, finishing her cheese stick. “Especially with everything that happened with Jonathan. While I think that Matt wouldn’t choose to be with you out of obligation, it doesn’t hurt to be safe. You have to be protective of both yours and Ethan’s hearts in this situation.”

“You know what’s funny?” Caroline said, picking herself another piece of pizza. “When my parents found out what I did– giving Matt the chance to decide what he wanted– my Dad thought it was because I was mad at Matt because of it.”

“Oh shit, Susan and Richard know about the hookup?” Emma asked, eyes wide.

“I told my Mom everything that happened on the plane ride home, because of the fact that I didn’t come back with everyone after the game and because I guess Matt and I’s conversion looked pretty intense. I told her and I think my Dad had asked about it and she probably told him too, but yeah I think everyone knows.”

“Not so sure about Mom and Dad,” Taryn said, shrugging. “Because I can guarantee that they’d probably chew him out for it.”

“What did your Dad say?” Emma asked, looking back at Caroline.

“He just went on about how I should probably consider how different life was for Matt in the last eight years, because he had no idea about Ethan or me, really. How I shouldn’t hold that against him, and I told him that I didn't because I do understand about Matt’s hookups and stuff. We talked about it, he told me everything and I’ve never held it against him since I found out.”

Caroline took a deep breath and sighed, shrugging. “But you know how my Dad loves to go into his philosophical stuff and most of the time, even when it’s not really needed– it turns out to be something you need to hear. So he just told me, ‘CareBear, if there's one thing I've learned through the years, it's that it's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.’ And he left it at that. I guess my out could stem from a little bit of anger, but really– I guess I was just hurt at it all. So go figure my Dad knows just what to say, hm?”

“I agree with Em, Line,” Taryn chimed in, nodding her head. “On one hand, I think you’re scared because of just how real and strong the connection between you two still is after all these years and now there’s nothing there to stop you from being with him. But on the other hand,” Taryn sighed, bringing her cup up. “You really do have a lot to consider before you can allow yourself to fully give yourself to him.”

Caroline nodded softly, laughing to herself. “Thank you, but I’m starting to feel like it was the shittiest decision I’ve made since deciding to hide Ethan from Matt.”

“I don’t know what kind of deal you guys have going on in regards to who's the one who has to reach out first, because you two have your own strange ways of working things out,” Taryn said, taking a long sip of wine as she shook her head. “But all I know is that if he chooses to continue living the bachelor life in Calgary, then he’d be a fool not to realize what he missed out on.”

And she really hoped that it didn’t come to that– Matt deciding that he wasn’t quite sure whether or not he wanted to genuinely be with her and that it was only the last few months of him being with her and Ethan, that made him think so. That the last few months and in all of those small moments where it felt like they were teenagers again and in the depths of a blossoming young and loving relationship, wasn’t just her reminiscing and dreaming back on that time– almost forcing herself to see what deep down in her heart, she desired.

Her, Matt, and Ethan together as a family– that was it. That’s what she wanted, nothing more and nothing less.

She wasn’t the only one missing Matt and it was obvious. After they had said goodbye to Matt in the hallway after game four, it was clear that it was getting harder on Ethan knowing that Matt wasn’t just down the block anymore. It was pouring after the game, all of them having to race to their cars but still getting soaking wet. When they had gotten home, Caroline took a shower first, letting Ethan sit at the dining room table so he could finish eating the shake shack they’d gotten on the way home.

He’d been down since they left the arena, needing to be told three times to follow after them when they went to leave the hallway and hesitating on doing so because he said he was waiting to say bye to Brady again, though Brady had said goodbye to them immediately after media since he knew he and the team had to hop on a plane to Calgary as soon as they were dressed. Eventually, Chantal went up to Ethan and talked to him for a bit, Caroline was not sure what she told him to be able to get him to leave his spot in the hallway and follow them.

On the car ride home, she decided to swing by shake shack to get him a meal, knowing that he was most likely still hungry, plus a milkshake as a little sweet treat. She herself was experiencing how it felt about saying goodbye to Matt again, so she could only imagine how Ethan was feeling, especially since he originally had a rough time when Matt returned to Calgary that first time. It had been a pretty hard week since two days earlier was Ethan’s first day back at school. She’d been a little stressed about how it was going to go, almost not trusting Ethan to be on his best behavior and not get into any more fights during recess. Since the school year was coming to a close, there wasn’t much homework for him to do– but it was still a pain to try and get him to keep up with his reading charts and whatever worksheets that his teacher did send home, most of the time he put up a bit of a fight until Caroline had told him she’d take away the iPad if he didn’t. He still put up some resistance until he realized she really would take the iPad and then he’d mumble and grumble his way into the dining room and sit down at the kitchen table to pout.

Pout exactly like he was when he sat down to finish his food. Pout exactly like he had when Caroline asked him to go take a shower so he could go to bed and get ready for school in the morning. Pout exactly like he did when he mumbled and grumbled something else before throwing his food away and dragging his feet down the hallway and into the bathroom. If she still wasn’t feeling just the small amounts of adrenaline from the game, she’d be pouring herself a glass of wine...or two. And the longer that she sat on the living room couch while making sure all of her work bag was packed, the more tired she became and the more she was really craving the wine.

Caroline heard a door open before another door closed and she assumed it was Ethan finishing up his shower and going into his room to get dressed. She stood up off of the couch and picked up her bag, walking into the dining room and placing it on the table before turning back around, ready to turn off the living room light when Ethan came walking down the hallway, his hair still dry and he was wearing swim trunks.

“I thought I told you to take a shower?” She asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“I did,” he replied, standing at the end of the hall.

“Ethan,” she sighed, turning off the living room light and walking towards him. “Rinsing off is not a shower, I can tell that your hair is dry. Also, why are you wearing swim trunks?” He mumbled something in reply and she stopped in front of him, noticing he hadn’t moved or looked up from his twiddling hands. “Is everything okay?”

“Can you wash my hair for me?” He asked softly, looking up at her with sad eyes.

It’d been a while since he last asked her to wash his hair– more around January of last year when he got hit pretty hard with the flu– but before that, it was almost a weekly request. When he was a toddler and cuddles wouldn’t do the trick in making him feel better, he’d always pat his head and say ‘wash’. As he got older, he would mainly want his hair washed whenever he was sick and didn’t feel too good– it was something that always seemed to calm him down or just give him that ease he wanted to feel.

“Sure, come on,” she nodded, resting her hand on his upper back as they walked down the hall and to her room.

They went into the bathroom and she turned on the tub as Ethan got in it, sticking a foot beneath the running water to check the temperature before he sat down in front of the faucet while Caroline went into the hall bathroom to get his shampoo and conditioner. When she came back, she got down onto her knees and placed the bottles down on the side of the tub, Ethan already having stuck his head under the faucet to soak his hair. She poured some shampoo into her left hand before getting closer to the edge of the tub and started to wash Ethan’s hair. He actually had taken a shower, because he no longer smelled like arena food or the shake shack they’d gotten on the way home– so he was definitely not feeling at his best since he hadn’t washed his own hair and was requesting for her to do so.

As Caroline washed his hair, she was flashed back to all of the times as a teen when she would wash Matt’s in the times when they would shower those summers spent at the lake or the beach house in Florida– bathing suits on of course (most of the time)– and how he used to just relax into her as she did. How once he started to let his hair grow a little bit and his curls started to get wild, she taught him how to take care of them by using the proper shampoo, conditioner, and products when he was off in Michigan. And more recently, their last morning before they dropped him off at the airport so he could go back to Calgary when they took a shower and washed each other’s hair.

She started to feel herself get upset as she thought back on the memories. Matt wasn’t here, he was in Calgary. He would be home for three months before he was off in Calgary again for potentially nine months. She wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to help Ethan get used to the fact that Matt wasn’t going to be right down the street because she was having a hard time getting used to that herself. She was still missing him occupying the space in her bed and she hated it. She hated missing him.

And she knew Ethan missed him just as much, if not more.

Caroline tilted Ethan’s head back to rinse out the shampoo, getting it all out before she reached for the conditioner as he sat up. “Are you okay?” she asked, working the conditioner into his hair.

“Mhhm,” Ethan shrugged, his knees propped up in front of him and his arms rested on top of them as he held onto his hands, keeping his eyes straight ahead at the wall in front of him.

“I know I’m your Mom and to you I’m just this old lady who likes to tell you what to do and doesn’t understand your life or how you feel,” She sighed, massaging the conditioner into his hair. “And I know you’re getting older and you want privacy and to start having your own thing away from me...but I’m always here, okay? You can come to me for anything without any repercussions or judgment, you can talk to me and tell me what’s wrong whenever you need to talk...I’m here.”

Ethan was silent as she rang out the excess conditioner from his hair. He let his knees drop as he sat criss-cross applesauce before scooting himself forward a bit so he could tilt his head back again to rinse his hair. He had his eyes closed as the water hit the top of his forehead and she rinsed out the conditioner, running her fingers through to make sure she got it all. As she brought her hand to the top of his forehead to run back through his hair, she looked down at him, him, and couldn’t believe just how grown up he was getting. He still had the same dark, long lashes that touched the top of his cheeks when his eyes were closed, the faint dimple when he wasn’t smiling, but the freckles that were so visible when he was younger, were starting to fade and his plump cheeks were too– but times like this reminded her that he was still that baby she used to play with at bath time and who would always try and give her the multi-colored rubber ducks so she could toss them back into the tub for him to find and grab again.

As she brought her hand through his hair again, double-checking to make sure that she got all of the conditioner out, Ethan opened his eyes and looked up at her with a soft smile, making his one dimple prevalent. She smiled, seeing even just the small difference in his mood since they left the hallway and booped his nose with her index finger. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Momma.” He replied, sitting up and standing up in the tub.

Caroline got up to grab a towel from her linen closet while Ethan turned off the water, getting out and standing on the bath mat as she came back with the unfolded towel and draped it over his head, ruffling his hair to get the excess water out before draping it over his shoulders. “Now go get in your pj’s it’s time for bed and you’ve got school tomorrow.”

Ethan nodded and they walked out of the bathroom, him leaving her room and going down the hall to his bedroom, while Caroline stayed in her room to set out an outfit for tomorrow– choosing to go more casual towards the end of the year than compared to the rest of the school year. After everything was set out, she plugged her phone in and rested it on her nightstand before turning towards her bedroom door and walking out of her room and down the hall to Ethan’s room, knocking, opening the door, and walking in once Ethan told her she could come in.

“I just wanted to say goodnight,” she said, leaning in the doorway as he rested the number 19 Calgary long sleeve on top of his dresser with the rest of his school outfit for tomorrow.

“Goodnight, I love you,” he replied, walking over and wrapping his arms around her waist, hugging her tight.

“I love you too,” Her stomach dropped slightly as she hugged him back, rubbing his back and bending down to kiss the top of his head. “Do you want me to tuck you in?”

“No, that’s okay,” Ethan replied, pulling away and walking back to his closet, closing the door before going over to his bed and sitting down.

She turned off the light before closing the door behind her as she walked out of his room and back down the hall to her room, closing the door. She got changed out of her sweatpants and tank top, switching over to pajama pants and the same old St. Louis t-shirt that Matt had left behind before she walked over to her side of the bed, pulling the covers back. She stared at the other side of the bed and again, only thought about how it was empty. How it felt when she fell asleep and woke up with Matt on that side and beside her. It was the only time she’s ever let anyone spend the night when Ethan was home and she never even second-guessed it or worried about what to do come morning. To her, having him there felt natural.

But now he was gone and she still had to wait oh so many days to find out what he had decided to do.

Caroline got into bed and pulled the covers up as her left hand reached out towards Matt’s side– the action having her contemplate whether or not she should text him. She sighed, talking herself out of it since it was late and he was still on his plane before she turned on her tv and Hulu, putting Criminal Minds on as she settled down for bed and set up her alarm for the morning. As she turned off her bedside lamp and got ready to roll over on her side, she heard a small knock come from her door, followed by the door opening.

Ethan was standing there in the doorway, wearing another Calgary long sleeve and his Calgary pajama pants, his hand holding onto the doorknob as he stood there, switching his balance from foot to foot. “Momma, are you sleeping?” He whispered softly.

“No, no I’m awake. Are you okay?” She asked, propping herself up onto her right elbow as Ethan just kept shifting from side to side. “Do you want to sleep in here tonight?”

He nodded in reply and when she reached out to Matt’s side of the bed to pull the blankets back, Ethan closed and locked the door behind him before running over to the end and climbing onto the bed and crawling beneath the covers, scooting closer to her side.

“Nuh-uh, you get those cold feet away from me.” She said, holding her left arm out to keep him back.

“They’re not cold, see!” Ethan giggled, trying to move by her and press his feet against her as they laughed once Ethan got by her defense.

“You are your father with your cold feet, I swear you two need to wear socks to bed,” she laughed, noticing how at the slight mention of Matt, Ethan’s loud giggling had started to fade. She rested back down onto her mattress, feeling herself start to calm down as she laid there and Ethan maneuvered himself closer to her side, curling up next to her and tucking his head on her chest as she felt one of his hands reach up into her hair instinctively like he always did as a baby.

“Ethan, are you okay?” She spoke softly, her left arm that was beneath his neck, reaching up and brushing the damp curls out of his face. Instead of answering her, he just curled up closer and pressed his head more against her chest. She sighed, kissing his forehead as she continued to play with the top of his hair. “Goodnight, baby.”

She laid her head back, closing her eyes as she felt herself sink into the mattress and her body start to relax, the adrenaline from the game and Calgary’s win fading off and the exhaustion from the whole day swallowing her whole.

“I miss Daddy,” Ethan finally spoke in a soft whimper, his left arm draping over her stomach as he grabbed onto her shirt.

Caroline instantly recognized the quiver in his voice, realizing just how upset he was about Matt having to leave again and she kept her eyes close in an attempt to keep tears from forming. As she kept brushing his hair back, she sighed and opened her eyes, looking at him.

“You can take your iPad to school tomorrow, but you have to give it to Mrs. Rumer at the start of the day. I’ll call and ask her if you can sit and have lunch in class so you can facetime him while you eat, how about that?

Ethan shook his head, curling more into her if possible as he mumbled something under his breath.

“What? You don’t want to talk to him?” Caroline asked, confused.

“No, I do.”

“Then what is it?” She asked, looking more at him.

“I miss him here...with us,” Ethan sighed heavily as he moved his chest and rested his chin on her shoulder, looking at her. “I want him to come back here...with you. We were a family.”

That was the sentence that made her heart crack in her chest, leaving her speechless for a few moments. She pulled Ethan into her, kissing the top of his head as he held onto her, his sniffles every so often filling in the quiet moments that the background noise of Criminal Minds left behind as she tried to think of how to counsel him. Because honestly, she missed Matt being here too— she missed that family feeling that was so obviously felt whenever the three of them were together.

“We’re always a family, baby,” she sighed, continuously brushing her fingers through his hair. “Whether Daddy’s here or not, we’re always a family.”

“But we’re happier when he’s around,” he sniffled, looking up at her. “You’re happier when he’s around and I miss walking home with him from Papa Walt and Mimi’s and our dinners and getting to sit on the couch with him or him tucking me in.” His mouth quivered as he reached up and rubbed his eyes on at a time as if he was trying to stop the tears from falling. “I want him to come home.”

“Oh, Ethan,” she whispered, leaning her head against the top of his as she hugged him and he cried. “If he comes home now, he won’t play for the Stanley Cup and you want to see that, right?” She asked, leaning back and cupping his cheeks. “You want to see Daddy win the cup?”

“Y-yeah,” he sniffled, nodding his head as he wiped his nose.

“Well he can’t do that if he’s already coming home for the summer, can he?” She asked, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

Ethan poured, shaking his head. “No.”

“How about this? If the Flames make it to the Stanley Cup Finals, we’ll go to every game, okay?” She asked, smiling down at him as she watched his eyes widen. “We should both be done with school by then and that way you can see Daddy all the time, okay? Besides, I know he and BeeBee used to fly on the plane with Papa Walt and the Blues sometimes.”

“Do you think I can?” Ethan asked eyes widened as his nose was congested from crying.

“We’ll have to wait and see,” she said, resting her hands on his shoulders. “I mean it, Ethan. You, me, and Daddy are always going to be a family, no matter what. Okay?”

“Even if you guys don’t get married?” He asked with sad eyes.

Caroline forced a smile onto her face, nodding as she tried not to think of the extremely possible possibility. “Even then. There’s nothing in this world that could ever tear our little family apart, I promise.”

Ethan sniffled as he stared at her, almost as if he was letting the confirmation sink in before he nodded and hugged her again. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she replied, kissing his head again. “Now get some sleep, okay? And if you’re still feeling a little bad tomorrow, we’ll see about you staying home okay?”

Ethan nodded as he kept his head on her chest, the two of them slipping back into silence again until he took a deep breath and exhaled. “I know you said we’ll always be a family even if you guys don’t get married…but I really, really want you guys to get married. Just saying.”

“Okay, baby.” Caroline laughed softly in an effort to conceal the sad look she had on her face and the hurt she was feeling inside, trying not to think about the big what if.

Matt had been nervous from the moment he woke up to join his teammates on the flight to St. Louis for game five. His parents flew back home shortly after he boarded the team plane, reminding him of the reserved late lunch they had at the country club his family were members at, telling him that both he and Brady were welcome to invite any teammates who didn’t have family in town. He invited the rookies, Sam and Marky, most of everyone else's families choosing to come into St. Louis for what could be either the second biggest celebration of their season (behind the Stanley Cup of course) or the time when they would need the comfort.

Besides the fact that the most important game in their hopes to continue their season was tomorrow, he would also get the chance to see Caroline this afternoon. It’s been one week since he last saw her, where in that airport she gave him the chance to decide what he wanted for their and his own future. One week since the two of them last had a conversation face to face or a conversation at all– wanting to give each other space so he could think everything out. One week had gone by and today, he was hopefully able to give her the answer he’d been dying to give her in the airport, and that hopefully, she was more than excited to hear.

He wanted a life with her and Ethan. Not just to be involved in co-parenting, but to be part of their day-to-day lives. He wanted– at least whenever Caroline was ready for it– to be able to hold her hand whenever he could, kiss her without a reason, and share a home with her, where Ethan would sleep down the hall and they’d maybe even grow their family by another child or two. He wanted to do it with her and only her.

When the time came for him and the teammates he invited to go to the country club, Matt booked an uber to drive them there– Sam giving him shit the entire way for making them show up so early. But he was anxious and nervous and every time someone new walked into the reserved room, Matt would immediately look up, thinking and expecting it to be her for just a second until he realized it wasn't and the cycle would continue.

And when Ethan showed up with his parents instead of Caroline, his parents told him that Caroline had to swing by a co-worker’s house for a bit to drop off a birthday present before she had to take care of something else, meaning she’d probably be arriving towards the middle or end of lunch. Matt continued to look for her with every passing minute and hour, the empty seat next to Ethan at their table was ever haunting.

“Dude, you keep doing this like you have been for the last hour, then you’ll get whiplash and be out of commission for tomorrow.” Sam joked, Matt, sitting down in Michaelson’s chair since he and Ricky were currently occupied with Ethan at Matt’s Dad’s table. “But really man, relax.”

“I can’t,” Matt said, shaking his head as he leaned his arms on the table as he picked up a balled-up straw wrapper. “I was going to tell her today that I made up my mind,” he tossed the wrapped back down onto the table, shaking his head. “Not that it matters anymore, cause lunch is over and we need to be back at the hotel.”

“You heard what your Mom said, dude. She had stuff to do today. I’m sure she didn’t just avoid this lunch completely,” Marky added in, nodding. “If anything, I’m sure she’s just as anxious as you are to hear your answer.”

He tried to take their words to heart and just relax and enjoy the time he had with his family before he continued to focus on the important games ahead of him. Though, that definitely didn’t help when he was talking to his Mom, Brady, Andrew, and Richard– Matt and Brady arguing about whether or not Brady pushed Matt down in the third period of the last game when they were fighting for the puck or if Matt embellished it to try and call a penalty. Because Ethan came up to Matt just as they were talking about being pushed and popped into the conversation with– “I’ve been pushed before!”

“By who?” Matt asked, looking down at him as Ethan stood between Matt and Brady and in the middle of their small group. “I remember the one with that kid on the ice when you guys all started to brawl.”

“Nope, not him. Jonathan.” Ethan replied nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

Matt blinked a few times, staring down still as he rested a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Ethan’s eyes widened as he looked at Brady. “Oops...was I not supposed to tell?”

Matt looked up at Brady to see him rubbing his temples as his Mom and Andrew both looked like they knew exactly what Ethan was talking about. “What’s he talking about? Jonathan pushed him?” He looked down at Ethan, eyebrows furrowed. “Jonathan touched you? Did he hurt you?”

“Well no, but I just got in the way because he was being mean to Mommy and called her an idiot and he was grabbing her arm and I just wanted to try and help. I’m fine, I swear.” Ethan rambled, shaking his head as he looked back at Matt before pointing at Brady. “Ask BeeBee, he’ll say I’m telling the truth.”

Matt’s mind was everywhere as he took in what Ethan had told him and all he could think about was taking one of his hockey sticks to Jonathan’s head. He had not only been mean to Caroline and grabbed her, but he had also put hands on Ethan and knocked him to the ground. Those were two people in his life, besides his family, who if someone were to lay a finger on them in any sort of negative way, he’d go to war for them.

“Annnnd I think we should go now, bye!” Andrew smiled, grabbing Ethan as he and Brady walked away, leaving Matt with his Mom.

“Hey, wait–”

“Matthew, relax,” his Mom said, walking towards him, resting her hands on his arms. “Let me explain what happened, okay?”

“Please, because when did this happen and why didn’t anyone tell me?” He asked, crossing his arms. “He’s my son, I deserve to know what happens to him.”

“You do, but Matthew, your Dad decided that it wasn’t the best time to tell you, mainly because of the series, but also because he didn’t put it past you not to get onto a plane to come and do something stupid.” She said, giving him a look. “Caroline wanted to tell you the moment it happened, but your Dad told her not to and that he would tell you when the time was right.”

“But when did it happen?”

“That first weekend after you left. The day after the article leaked,” she nodded, rubbing her thumbs over his sleeves. “Ethan wasn’t hurt, Caroline wasn’t hurt and both Andrew and your brother kicked Jonathan out the moment it happened, while Blake made sure that the two of them were okay. It happened, it’s over, they’re both fine. Now you need to not do anything irrational and focus on the series, okay?”

Matt took a deep breath, exhaled, and nodded. “Okay, you’re right.” He was still angry, he could feel the anger flowing through him, yet he took another deep breath and exhaled. “But if I see Jonathan, I can’t make any promises that I won’t–”

“Matthew,” his Mom replied, giving him a stern look.

“That I won’t call him out for what he did and give him a strict, the next time you touch either of them, I won’t be so nice, speech.”

“Don’t let it get to you, Matthew. They’re both fine,” she smiled, squeezing his arms. “Now please try to enjoy the rest of your night.”

He tried to do what she asked– enjoy the rest of his night. And it wasn’t so much because of what he learned Jonathan had done that kept him from doing so– it was because he kept waiting for Caroline to show up. When it came time for the stars of the hour to leave, Caroline still hadn’t shown up and besides getting to spend the extra time with Ethan, Matt left feeling unfulfilled. Sam, Marky, Ricky, and Michaelson all could tell that Matt was off, upset about how the day had gone when he had it set in his mind how everything was going to go. They tried to get his mind off of it, but Matt just played along until they got back to the hotel and he and Sam went back to their room.

“Listen, just because you didn’t see her today, doesn’t mean you won’t see her tomorrow,” Sam said, sitting down at the end of his bed.

“I think she didn’t come on purpose,” Matt said, actually saying the words that he had been thinking as time passed while they sat at lunch. “This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment dinner. My Mom’s had it planned since Wednesday–”

“And maybe whatever plans she’s had, were planned before that,” Sam replied, lying back on his bed and holding onto his phone. “You’re getting way ahead of yourself here, Chucky. Give her the benefit of the doubt, hm?”

“What if I took too long? I-I mean, what if she thinks that I didn’t choose her, so that’s why she didn’t show up today and she won’t show up tomorrow and I’ll end up having to bang on her door until she answers so I can tell her that I know what I want and what I want is to be with her?”

Sam sighed, resting his phone on his chest before rubbing his temples. “Dude, you’re giving me a headache. You’re psyching yourself out right now when you don’t even know why she didn’t show up. For all we know, maybe something happened on her way there or she got caught up. You’ll talk to her tomorrow, she won't miss the game, okay? Just...relax.”

Matt’s phone rang, just as he went to reply and when he picked it up, he saw Caroline’s name and contact picture on the screen. “It’s her! What do I do?”

“Answer it, you dummy!” Sam said, throwing a pillow at him.

Matt threw the pillow back before answering the phone, bringing it to his ear. “Hello?”

“I am so, so sorry,” Caroline breathed out heavily. “I just got here and your parents told me that you guys had left a few minutes ago because you had to be back at the hotel.”

“Yeah, Sutter doesn’t want us out past a certain time,” Matt replied. “Is everything okay? I mean...you kind of missed the lunch.”

“I know, I know. I got caught up at Melinda’s, she teaches freshman history, and it was her engagement party and I was only supposed to drop off a gift, but then they kept asking how Ethan and I were doing and about you,” she took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. “I just lost track of time and then I had to go run another errand before it closed and...I’m so sorry.”

“So you didn’t do it on purpose?” He asked, sounding relieved. “Not show up to the lunch on purpose...I mean?”

“No, I swear to you I didn’t.”

Matt took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds as he felt Sam’s eyes on him as he exhaled. “Okay, good. I thought you did because you were upset that I’ve taken so long to think about everything.”

“No, I promise,” she replied, going quiet for a few moments before he heard her take a breath. “Though honestly? I’m kind of scared for tomorrow...and I was pretty scared for today too.”

He felt his heart slam against his chest as the breath caught in his throat. “Why?”

“Because, Matty,” she spoke softly, sounding unsure of herself. “I don’t know what I’m more afraid of...to see you again or to never see you again.”

“Is it because I took so long?” He replied, replicating her soft tone. “Because I swear I didn’t mean to. You told me to take a couple of days and I...I thought you might not believe me if I came back two days later with my answer. I wanted you to know that I took this seriously because I do, Care. I’m taking this so seriously because I know what this means for you, me...for us.”

“No, I mean...maybe,” she huffed in frustration and he could practically see in his mind, just how she looked– brows knitted together, a frown on her face, how she always looked when she was frustrated. “It’s not your fault, Matty. It’s mine. I was the one who told you to take your time and think it through. I was just scared because of everything that happened with Annalee and I don’t know...I thought this was going to help and maybe it will– but it’s not your fault, okay?”

He contemplated telling her right there on the phone what he decided to do– that he chose her. But he hesitated because he didn’t want to tell her over the phone. He wanted to tell her when he was standing right in front of her, that way he could do what he promised her back in the airport and kiss her like his life depended on it.

That way she knew what he had decided– who he had chosen– and there would be no more doubt in her mind.

“You’re coming to the game tomorrow night, right?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it, it’s game six. I’ve gotta support the two boys who used to pull on my pigtails all the time.”

“Hey!” he laughed, shaking his head. “Brady used to pull your pigtails and then blame it on me. I was totally innocent.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” she laughed and he could tell that she was feeling lighter. “He used to pull my pigtails and you just used to steal my pop tarts.”

“Okay, maybe I’m guilty of that one,” he smiled, his laughter fading out as he sighed. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there.”

Matt rubbed his left hand down his leg, sighing. “Then I’ll see you then. Tell E I said goodnight and that I love him and I’ll see him tomorrow.”

“Will do,” she replied. “Goodnight, Matty and stop stressing about tomorrow, you’re going to do great.”

“Thanks, Care. Goodnight.” Matt hung up the phone, feeling more relaxed than he had been moments earlier as he sighed and dropped the phone onto his bed, seeing Sam stare at him. “What?”

“Oh nothing, just waiting for you to tell me that I was right and you were being dramatic.” Sam smiled, leaning up on his hands.

“Fine,” Matt said, pushing himself up off of the end of the bed and letting his hands fall to his sides. “You were right, I was being dramatic and she didn’t ditch me. There, happy?”

“Yep,” Sam smiled, picking his phone back up, only to look back at Matt. “Can I be a groomsman in the wedding, though?”

“Shut up and play angry birds or whatever the hell you’re doing on your phone,” Matt replied, rolling his eyes as he waved Sam off and went to his luggage to grab his shower stuff.

“I’m on Instagram, thank you very much,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes and lying back down on his bed.

“Whatever, just leave me alone,” Matt called out, walking into the bathroom with his bag of shower supplies before walking into the bathroom.

He reached into the shower and turned on the water before walking back to the sink, resting the bag on the counter and leaning against it, looking at himself in the mirror. He took a deep breath and sighed, taking it all in for a moment before he got undressed and grabbed the supplies out of the bag and bringing them into the shower with him.

Tomorrow would change everything.

After the pre-game skate, Matt and Brady both went out to lunch with their parents, Ethan and the Marsh’s– only Caroline was absent again. Even after last night when Caroline assured him that he would be at the game, her absence that early in the afternoon didn’t leave him with a confident feeling. Even as he went back to his parent’s house and they all hung around for a little while longer before Matt was set to go back to his hotel to take a pre-game nap. Again, it must’ve been written all over his face how stressed he was that Caroline, once again, wasn’t there and the news he’d been wanting to tell her, was once again forced to be held inside.

He played around in the basement with Ethan for a little while, not so much doing anything himself, but rather working with Ethan on small fundamentals before transitioning into the trick shots. When they went back upstairs, they just relaxed in the living room, Matt listening to Ethan tell him how his week of school had gone and how the boy who had tried to fight him last week, Jacoby, now wouldn’t even bother to look in Ethan’s direction anymore– which Ethan said was probably due to Matt teaching him how to fight and that since he had gotten in trouble for starting the fight, his Mom and the Principal had most likely told him not to bother Ethan again.

When it came time for his Dad to give him a ride back to the hotel, Ethan raced to the front door so he could ride along, walking out with Matt’s dad to get into the car in the driveway. The Marsh’s were leaving at the same time, Andrew teasing him about wearing Brady’s jersey, while Mr. Richard was already at the end of the driveway, making his way back to the house as Andrew followed suit. Mrs. Susan came up behind Matt as he was putting on his second shoe, a soft smile on her face.

“She wanted to come this morning,” she said, putting her purse over her shoulder. “She was just unable to finish her errands yesterday and wanted to get them done as soon as she could this morning so she could go to the game tonight.”

Matt nodded, holding the door open for her to walk out. “I know, we talked last night.”

He swore he heard her sigh in relief as she walked out onto the front porch. “Matthew, you’ve known my Caroline for a long time now, right?”

“Yes Ma’am,” he nodded, closing the door behind him as they stood on the front porch.

“So you know, that she feels things very deeply, even though she always prefers to put on a front like she doesn’t, right?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Mrs. Susan stood in front of him, resting her hands on either side of his arms and she looked at him. “Don’t you give up on her, okay? I can promise you with everything I have, that she’s not shutting you out. I know it must feel that way since the conversation you two had at the airport, but she was scared and she didn’t want you to think that she was.”

“I know, Mrs. Susan,” Matt nodded, his Adam's apple bobbing. “Any advice on how to get it through her stubborn head that I’m not giving up on her?”

Mrs. Susan laughed and she reached up with her right hand and patted his cheek softly. “Just let her know that you’re there and I promise you, once she works through everything that she needs to, the two of you will have the ending that you want. Okay?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Matt nodded as her hand moved to his shoulder. “I promise.”

“Good,” she smiled, leaning in and hugging him. “I already told this to Brady at breakfast, but I’m very proud of the both of you for getting to where you are. You two deserve all the best in your careers for the hard work I’ve seen you put into hockey since you were kids. And no matter what happens tonight, I’m always rooting for you.” She pulled away from the hug, smiling at him. “Good luck tonight, try your best and we’ll be rooting for you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Susan.” He smiled, the two of them walking down the porch and towards his Dad’s car, now with Ethan and his Dad inside.

“Oh and Matthew?” She asked, turning around as she reached just at the end of the car. “When you and Caroline figure everything out, you should ask her if you can read the letters.”

“Letters?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he shook his head slightly. “What letters?”

“There were a ton. Some from when you were off at Michigan, but most of them were from when she was pregnant with Ethan and the two of you were broken up.” Mrs. Susan said, adjusting her purse strap. “She wrote you letters all the time, but I think it just hurt too much to send them. I believe she still has them, you should ask her if she’ll let you read them one day.”

“Okay, I will,” Matt nodded, grabbing onto the door handle. “I’ll see you tonight.”

With a wave, Mrs. Susan walked down the end of the driveway and towards her house while Matt got into the front seat of his Dad’s car, with nerves riddling through his entire body as he looked at the time of the clock and realized that in both six and eight hours respectively, two things would change,

The first, he would either be continuing on to play for the Stanley Cup, or his season would end there and he’d be supporting his brother on a Stanley Cup run.

The second, he would hopefully be ending the night with all of his feelings for Caroline laid out to her and in the open and they could potentially start their journey for however long it took before Caroline worked through all that she needed to and they would finally be together.

Eight long years and it could all pick back up tonight.

Caroline had felt guilty missing the lunch yesterday, knowing it would’ve been the first time that she had seen and talked to Matt since she last saw him at the airport. She hadn’t meant to get caught up at Melinda’s engagement party, but just as she told Matt, she had gotten caught up in the questions people were asking about how she was doing and how Ethan were doing– they’d even asked about Matt and how he was doing. She’d only gone in to drop off a gift, say her hellos and congratulate Melinda before she would head off to the errand she had to do, but her planned out quick five-minute visit had soon turned into almost two hours.

Whenever she was finally able to leave and make her way to her real errand of the day, she was panicking. There was a set amount of hours where she knew that on a Saturday, she’d be able to stop by and pick up what she needed to and she knew that she was cutting it close on both making it in time and also making it to the lunch in time. When she pulled into the parking lot of the courthouse and raced inside, her heart dropped into her feet when she saw that the counter was closed and that she wasn’t able to fulfill her main errand of the day:

Getting the official paperwork for both Ethan’s name change and official documents.

When she finally got to the lunch in time, no documents in hand to surprise Matt with and late to the point where everyone had finished their meals and both Brady and Matt were gone– she felt more than defeated. Add on the nervousness of actually seeing Matt for the first time in a week and knowing that at any moment he could either give her the answer she was waiting for or dreading– she was a total wreck.

So much of a wreck that she had called him the moment after she’d learned from Chantal that Matt and Brady had gone back for the day. She felt better after that conversation, making sure that he knew she hadn’t done it intentionally and that she was sorry for not showing up, and felt even more guilty when he had wondered if she had missed the lunch on purpose.

Shortly after their conversation ended, she had sat down at the pretty much empty table since both Matt and Brady were gone, Ethan was off mingling with Keith and it was only her and Taryn sitting there. Her phone lit up and she was expecting to see a text from Matt, only to be greeted with an Instagram notification, telling her that Sam Bennett had sent her a message.

sbennett_93: Hey, so I know we’ve only ever really talked in passing, but what kind of best friend and hopefully future groomsman would I be if I didn’t message you and give you a heads up when it came to Matt, right?

carolinemarsh: Hi, Sam. Umm, yeah sure I guess. What’s the heads up?

sbennett_93: I don’t know why he didn’t tell you when he had you on the phone earlier, because he’s been freaking out about it since we left Calgary to fly here, but he’s choosing you. I’m pretty sure he chose you back when you even gave him the out and he’s just been stressing about it...but he’s 100% confident of choosing you. 😄

carolinemarsh: Wait...really? You’re not messing with me?

sbennett_93: Nope, our Chucky is 100% positive that you’re the one he’s picking and wants a future with.

sbennett_93: So wear his jersey tomorrow or whatever floats his boat so after we win tomorrow, he’s got another thing to be excited about. Also know that you can stop stressing now. Lol.

carolinemarsh: Thank you Sam 🥺

sbennett_93: Of course. But if you want, you can always mention me in the wedding speech 😄

carolinemarsh: I’ll leave that up to Matt 😂

sbennett_93: Technically not a no, so I’ll take it. See you tomorrow and remember, no Blue!

She had missed brunch this morning too, once again going to the courthouse to grab the paperwork she was notified that came in. What she hadn’t expected was the long line of people filing paperwork as well as picking up– causing her to miss brunch. By the time she had confirmed that the paperwork was correct in spelling and that it belonged to her, she was racing back home to get ready for game six. Everyone else had gone ahead to the arena, choosing to beat traffic and the crowds and arrive early, except for Andrew, who had opted to wait for her.

He had also opted to let himself into her house using the spare key and relaxing on the couch watching the pregame show for tonight's game. She rushed by him and went back to her room, immediately going to the bathroom to set up her shower. Caroline had sped through her shower and getting dressed in some jeans and just an old t-shirt while she did her hair and make-up, feeling herself be stressed about her appearance for the first time in what felt like forever. She opened her spare closet, looking through the very limited options of what she could wear tonight.

There was the Tkachuk vs. Tkachuk jersey she could wear to represent Brady and Matt. Brady’s Blues jersey was out of the question, seeing as Sam specifically told her not to wear blue. She had the blank Calgary jersey that came with the rest of the Flames gear in the gift Matt’s GM had sent. The Tkachuk red jersey Matt had given her the same time he gave Ethan his. And the many sweatshirts and t-shirts that also came in the gift from the Flames GM.

But there was also another option.

She reached out and grabbed the green and white jersey, holding it in front of her by its hanger. She brushed her fingers down the 7 on the left sleeve before touching the logo, turning it around to see Matt’s handwriting in the faded black sharpie– L.Y.A and his signature.

“So wear his jersey tomorrow or whatever floats his boat so after we win tomorrow, he’s got another thing to be excited about.”

Something inside of her told her that if she were to wear this, it would mean a whole lot more to him than just wearing his normal Calgary jersey. She took it off the hanger, tugging the jersey on over her t-shirt before walking out of her closet and room, meeting Andrew in the living room as she grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter.

“That’s new,” Andrew said, standing up off of the couch. “Where’d you get that?”

“It was my Valentine’s Day present from Matt,” she replied, looking down at it. “Though originally, it was my early birthday present from when he went off to Ontario. But, I never showed up...and well, you know.”

They walked towards the door when Caroline felt Andrew tug on the middle of her jersey. “L.Y.A?” He followed her out onto the front porch and he smiled, crossing his arms. “Okay, big sister. I see why you’re wearing it. That was your guys’ little code phrase back then. You’re gonna wear it and then when he sees you, that’s your way of pretty much confessing your love and then–”

“Just get in the car before we’re late,” she replied, nudging him away as she turned towards the door to lock it, giving herself a few moments to make sure her face wouldn’t be all blushed.

Well, he wasn’t lying. She was hoping that the moment Matt saw her wearing his old London Knight jersey, that it might serve as some kind of confirmation to him that she still loved him even after all this time.

When she got into the car, Andrew was already buckled in and ready, but was resting the manilla envelope in his lap that she had picked up from the courthouse. “What’s this?” He asked, holding it up. “The reason why you were late?”

“Open it up and see for yourself,” she replied, turning on the car and buckling in before she started to back out of the driveway.

Andrew opened the manilla envelope, reaching in and tilting it so the two pieces of paper came out into his hand before resting the envelope in his lap. “Oh shit, so now it’s official, official?”

“Yep,” she nodded, looking at the new birth certificate and social security card for Ethan in Andrew’s hand. “I was late getting it yesterday, so I had to get it today. I’m debating giving them to him after the game tonight.”

“I’m sure they’ll make his night, no matter which way the game goes,” Andrew replied, looking at the papers. “Huh, it’s kind of weird seeing Tkachuk instead of Marsh. Kind of miss it, but I’m happy that Matt finally knows and Ethan can have that relationship with him.”

“Me too,” Caroline replied, nodding her head.

“Now all you have to do is finally marry him and you’ll have all the Tkachuk name,” Andrew smiled, putting the papers away. “Just don’t wait another eight years this time, hm?”

They arrived at the game a few minutes after warm-ups had ended and made it there with the rest of their families, not sitting in the box for the game, instead, having a little section mixed in amongst the crowd. Ethan immediately saw the jersey Caroline was wearing and tried to convince her to switch with him so he could wear it. The only way she could get him to stop asking was by promising him that he could wear it the next game. She was fine all throughout the waiting for the game to start, but once the National Anthem was performed and the lights dimmed for the video– she was all nerves.

Out of the six games that she’s watched, whether that be in person or on TV— this one was by far the most competitive and tense game she's ever watched. Both Brady and Matt were on their A-game and giving it their all with each shift. It was hard trying to cheer for both teams, knowing that while one would score, that meant that the other was just one goal behind.

Ethan was a big ball of energy throughout the game, sitting on the edge of his seat throughout the entirety of the game and jumping up whenever he thought something was happening or when something did happen. He was locked in with each puck drop, whenever he at least wasn’t munching on food.

Caroline had been nervous when she initially found out that they weren’t sitting in the box. At least in the box, they were safe from judging eyes or the gossip from going on around them. Caroline still wasn’t sure just how sensitive people were about what had been revealed in that article. In her mind, anyone in this arena or even around them in the close vicinity could’ve been someone who made one of the mean comments on social media. But it was Keith who had gone with her when Ethan wanted chicken fingers and told her not to worry about it. Because since she had missed warmups, she had also missed the way people interacted with Ethan and Keith when they were down at the glass for warmups– friendly smiles, kind conversations, and handshakes. She had also learned that when Keith brought Ethan to the arena earlier than the rest of their party, Matt had introduced Ethan to Adam Pruitt, who was the eight-year-old son of one of the defensemen they had received from the Florida Panthers during the trade deadline, Brandon Pruitt, and apparently, the two had hit it off to the point where they were planning on asking both Dad’s if they could visit each other in both Florida and Missouri.

And it was exactly that, that Ethan had talked about during the intermissions, trying to convince Caroline that she had to meet Adam and his Mom– Elizabeth Pruitt– so that he could visit Adam in Florida. He had caught a glimpse of the manilla folder that Caroline was holding in her lap for the majority of the game, and of course, he asked what it was and if that’s why she was late. She told him that he had to keep his chicken fingers and fries residue covered fingers in his lap while she showed him the contents of the envelope, Ethan almost reaching out to grab at the paperwork to make sure it was real until he stopped, a sheepish smile on his face to say sorry. And when Caroline had told him that she was going to show Matt the new paperwork after the game, depending on how it all went down tonight– he was even more ecstatic.

By the time that the third period had come around, the game was tied 3-3, the Flames losing a two-goal lead in the second period after Brady drew a hooking penalty against Matt, and then on a deflected goal off of Brandon. It was tense and Caroline could barely sit still in her seat as they all watched the gameplay out. The stakes were high for both teams– one was trying to push game seven and the other was trying to end it all here to win a Conference Championship and send themselves to the Stanley Cup Finals.

She wanted it for Matt and Brady both, so bad. She witnessed firsthand the hard work that they put into hockey for most of their entire lives. The late hours at the rink, the two, sometimes three-a-day workouts, sharpening up their skills, making sure they were fueling their bodies with the right foods and nutrients. She saw them leave home at 15-years-old in order to better themselves by playing with some of the best young players around the country and then go and play off internationally against other countries' best players. And it all led up to this– to playing for the chance to play for and hopefully win the Stanley Cup.

But one of them would be losing and not getting that chance this season and while she loved Brady...she was really hoping that that person wasn’t Matt.

As the last two minutes of the third period played out, everyone in the arena was on their feet– a mix of Calgary and Blues fans– with the Blues having shown speed and dominance over the puck and the Flames throughout the bottom half of the period. Caroline kept her eyes glued to the ice as O’Reilly headed towards Markstrom with the puck– only for it to be hit away by Johnny and sent into the corner of the board where a swarm of Flames and Blues players filed in to regain control.

Until Brandon stood strong and got the puck passing it out of the corner and hitting Matt just behind him.

The cheers were deafening all around them as Caroline clasped her hands together in front of her, resting them beneath her chin as her heart thumped against her chest. Her focus switched from the short remaining seconds on the clock to the race down for the Blues goal at the end, where Binnington was in his crease, anticipating the shot. She saw Brady’s 7 skating up fast to catch up with Matt’s 19 as he neared the crease, Blues’ Parayko and Krug both trying to take the puck or Matt’s shot away.

Like all the times before when they were younger and playing mini-sticks in the basement, Matt deked and to avoid the stick of Brady, dove out as he shot the puck before he kept sliding towards the boards.

And then...the goal horn.

It was a flash of white and red skating down the ice and jumping out of their bench, heading towards the boards behind the Blue’s goal with their arms in the air in celebration as Matt was swallowed up by the group of teammates. Blues fans around the arena were clearly upset about the loss and yet the cheers were still loud enough for Caroline not to be able to hear her own thoughts– because while their beloved team wasn’t playing for a Stanley Cup, there was a hometown boy on the opposing team who was.

Caroline felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and she looked down to see Ethan pressing his face into her jersey and she could tell by the way he was breathing that he was crying. As he reached up to wipe his face with the sleeve of his jersey, Caroline cupped his face and tilted his head up, kissing his forehead before wiping his cheeks and hugging him.

“I know, E,” she said, looking out towards the ice with her own tears building in her eyes as she spotted the familiar 19, skating towards the bench, still receiving back pats and helmet taps from teammates. “I know.”

Everything was a blur once the Blues left the ice and they started to set up for the Flames to receive the Clarence S. Campbell bowl from Gary Bettman. Their group all moved as a tight-knit one so they could get down to the ice to go out and take pictures, in the craziness of it all as they were led out onto the ice, Caroline got to meet both Adam and his mom in a passing moment. Once Matt shook Bettman’s hand and invited the rest of the team over to pose behind the trophy, it suddenly became real.

This, being on the ice after big wins with the other wives, girlfriends, and families, seeing Matt win big games with his team and experience Ethan watching and admiring his Dad’s career like Matt had done his own– this could be her life.

And in a matter of minutes, she was set to find out whether or not it could or ever would be.

When the players broke away to find their families, she let everyone go ahead of her, choosing to give herself as much time to prepare for whatever news he had regarding his decision. She watched as he hugged his parents and Taryn, her parents and Andrew and when he finally got to Ethan– she gripped onto her manilla envelope tighter, the butterflies in her chest growing rapidly as he picked him up and hugged him tight– the two of them sharing matching smiles.

Before he could even find her as he put Ethan down, he was tapped on the shoulder and lead in the direction of a reporter from ESPN. Her nerves started to take over as she tried not to roll the manilla envelope in her hands, watching the players interact with their families around her before moving her gaze over to Matt who was giving his interview. Even though she’s been around him the last few months, she couldn’t help but realize, once again, just how mature he was. The way he held himself and spoke to the reporter like he was mirroring the ways Keith had done it all those years ago.

Matt nodded at something the reporter said before shaking his hand and turning around, looking down at his skates before looking up again and immediately making eye contact with her, causing her heart to thud heavily against her chest. He stared at her, his mouth dropping just slightly before he started nudging his way through people on the ice and towards her, Caroline shuffling her feet on the ice to meet him halfway. Her feet just started to slip beneath her, almost causing her to slip back just as Matt reached her.

“Falling for me already, hm?” He laughed, holding onto her arms to keep her steady. “If I would’ve known that scoring a dramatic, game-winning buzzer goal was the way to get you to fall for me, I would’ve done it months ago.”

She rolled her eyes, trying to distract from her blushing cheeks. “Well, what would’ve been more impressive is if you didn’t let Brady get you with that penalty. Then maybe that dramatic goal wouldn’t have been necessary.”

This time, Matt rolled his eyes, letting go of her elbows. “And yet you’re wearing who’s jers–.” He paused and looked at her jersey, a smile on his face. “Ahhh, so you broke it out of the confines of your closet, hm?”

“Mhhm and I was barely here for five minutes before Ethan tried to convince me to buy something from the merch stands so he could wear it.” She laughed, looking down at the jersey. “Plus, I had a feeling it’d be much better to wear than a Calgary one.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhhm, but moving on to what’s important...here,” she nodded, holding up the manilla envelope. “This is why I missed that lunch your parents set up and then breakfast this morning.”

Matt took it, opening the envelope and looking inside before he reached in and grabbed the new birth certificate, tilting the envelope so the social security card would come out. “Whoa,” he spoke softly, barely a whisper as she watched his eyes read over both documents, and just like Ethan did, he started to shift his mouth from side to side as he bit down on the inside of his cheek. “Is this…?”

“He’s always been yours, he always will be yours, nobody will ever change that,” she nodded, feeling herself start to get emotional as he started to put the documents back into the envelope. “And I’m sorry it took so long, but it’s real now. Your his Dad and he’s your son and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for the both of you and I just hope you–”

Matt pulled her into him the rest of the way with his right arm wrapped around her waist and with the envelope tucked beneath his left arm, he reached up and cradled her face, kissing her. Caroline could feel every bit of emotion that he was and because of that, she allowed herself to relax against him, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck.

When they pulled away, she brought her right hand up to his face, brushing her thumb across his stubble. “What was that for?”

“It was our deal, remember?” He smiled, shrugging. “What you wanted me to do to let you know that I chose to have a future with you? You wanted me to kiss you, so...here’s me telling you what I chose.”

“And you’re absolutely sure?” She asked, feeling the nerves take over as her voice quivered slightly and she kept brushing her thumb along his jaw.

“I’ve never been more sure, I was sure when we were standing right there in the airport. But knowing you, I know you wouldn’t accept any decision until I actually took the time you wanted me to. So I did and my choice has never changed, not even for a second.” He said, tucking hair behind her ear. “But if you want me to, I can always kiss you again to make sure that the message sinks in.”

Caroline nodded as the smile grew on her face. “Yes please.”

“Perfect.” Matt brought his right hand up to her face, cupping both sides as he kissed her again just as passionately as the first.

“Ew, can you guys not?” Ethan whined, causing the two of them to pull apart and look down beside them. “At least not in front of everyone it’s embarrassing.”

“Says the kid who literally asks every other day whether or not we’re getting married,” Matt replied, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ethan replied, waving him off as he looked at Caroline with a big smile. “Did you tell him? Did you tell him?”

“I did,” she laughed, nodding at the envelope Matt had in his possession.

Ethan, still smiling, was hopping in place in excitement as he looked back at Matt. “I’m a Tkachuk, Dad!”

Matt laughed and bent down to pick Ethan up, hugging him before getting him propped up on his hip while he draped his right arm over Caroline, looking at her with a smile before looking back at Ethan, their matching dimples and smiles on display as they looked at each other with adoration in their eyes.

“You always were, bud.”

taglist [if striked through, it won’t let me tag you 🥺] :

@steve-is-daddy​ @hockeybabe87​ @nolanscheeks​@hey-there9-its-me @besthockeyfics​ @hockeyschmockey​ @tysonsjosty @hockeystop​ @hannabritta​ @robschwartzman @ipuckwithhockey-archive @tkachuk-yeah​ @luvsherleafs @heyheyheyhayes @oilers2997@cutiesara23 @glassdanse @annedub @notaccurateornice @art-m-anic @corrinereads @reavenedges-lies @lwstuff @whatishockey @mydarkestsecretlol @dorotheathe1 @barzyspov @dutch-tv-fan@dude-44 @wastedheartcth @sorryjustafangirl @turnoutthecitylights@teenagekook @precioustk @lorrmorr @linkingdolans @starswin  @barzysreputation @heatherawoowoo @usmileismile @hockey-and-wine @brehonodea @ggggmoneyyyy @majdoline @hiimjaredim19 @aesterins @adelaidestreets @idkalexaaw @u-4-ia @jennielynnie @miss-cap21 @itrocksmysocks @spencereidbasis @b34ut1fulb4st4rds @withthelightoff @dreamer1430 @predshockeyfan @joelsfarabees @ollywahlygator @lovethepreds@taitor-tots @fansessions @basicallyido @mattyskies @ayowhatitdojd @string06 @dreamsndior @stuff4me2do @tkachuk197 @missymore @mellany1997 @leafs-forever @love-like-woaah @puckingrightschicagoo @hockeyunits @fuckyeahmattytkachuk @himbos-on-ice @brkfstatmidnite @rattymattytkachuk @tkapuckit @lovemesomevesey @thebestoffanfiction  @ohpuckyeah @hrmatics @patsmoynihan  @monalicia @simplegirl-lat @isletakebarzal @carebearofriddles