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random-thought-depository · 3 years

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A short vignette I wrote as part of a discussion on a forum I post on, with past/present tense and other grammar and formatting and math somewhat cleaned up from the rough version I posted there, and I’ve given it a title; it is a stand-alone piece and is not connected to any of my main SF settings; I took the liberty of re-using some relatively generic planet names and taking a little inspiration from John M. Dollan’s Arcbuilder Universe (if you’re interested you can find links to a little of John M. Dollan’s more recent writing on his Twitter):

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Advantages of Specialization

As I departed Cordillera, I passed a sign of the times. There was one of the big Hegemony freighters, on its leisurely upward fall toward minimum safe distance. It was much too far away for unaided eye visual contact, of course, but Mariposa's telescope gave me a fine view of it. And Cordillera space traffic control had supplied all the relevant details, of course; planned trajectory and burn timing, alpha-numeric designation - and a name; the Humbolt. Humbolts are whales that sing. Appropriate, I guess; it was big. Next to it little Mariposa would look - well, like a butterfly flitting around a whale, I guess. Mariposa is 50 meters long and masses 100 tons, 500 tons fueled up, with space for about an elephant's mass in cargo. Mariposa could fit inside Humbolt's fuel tank. Mariposa could fit inside the nozzle of Humbolt's fusion rocket.

Humbolt had finished its escape burn from Cordillera two days ago and it was just falling up now, not very fast. Its orbital rockets had burned at a leisurely .5 MSS, only a twentieth of a G, and hadn't burned very long. It hadn't even reached escape velocity from Cordillera's sun. Mariposa had burned hard, 3 G on the way up from Cordillera's surface, then 1.2 G the rest of the way to outbound flight velocity. Mariposa passed Humbolt quickly; the velocity differential was huge. Mariposa hadn't just reached escape velocity from the local sun, Mariposa had reached escape velocity from the galaxy! If I never burned her rocket or did a hyperspace jump again Mariposa would fall up very long and very far, into intergalactic space, where she'd fall up until her atoms evaporated by proton decay or the Big Rip tore her apart or she disintegrated from the slow sandpapering of the intergalactic medium, whatever came first. Of course, that wouldn't happen. I'd reach the local hyperlimit and jump to hyperspace in three months or so, then it'd be a few days in hyperspace, then another two months to get from the 82 Eridani hyperlimit to Hyannis. Funny; a few months to cross a few dozen AU, a few days in hyperspace to cross dozens of light years, a light year is more than 60,000 AU. Our-space distances aren't applicable to travel in hyperspace, of course, but I still think it's funny. Lots of people do.

As I passed Humbolt I studied telescopic images of it, studied its weaknesses, and thought maybe a whale wasn't the right analogy for it after all. Something from an ocean was, but not a whale. It was more like one of those deep sea fish that explode when you bring them to the surface, into the light.

Humbolt hadn't landed at San Ysidro Spaceport. It couldn't have. It wouldn't have survived trying. Humbolt is a pure creature of the void, that will never know the kiss of air or the touch of ground. It unloads and loads cargo at space stations, leaving transport to and from planetary surfaces to specialized local surface-orbit shuttles.

Humbolt is long thin pillar more than a kilometer long, with the fusion rocket at one end, a spherical fuel tank and the cargo and a small crew section spun for centrifugal gravity at the other end, and huge radiator wings between them. The long pillar is to protect the rest of the ship from the heat and radiation of the fusion drive. The fusion drive has a maximum rated acceleration at full cargo load of 2 MSS - one-fifth of 1 G. If Humbolt tried to accelerate much faster with a full cargo load, its engine would melt with waste heat. And if by some miracle it got itself up to 1 G that long pillar would snap and crumble. Put Humbolt on the surface of an Earthlike world, and it would disintegrate into a mass of rubble. If Humbolt tried to land like Mariposa, it would have the aerodynamics of a brick, and pieces of it would snap off from air friction, and its great rocket wouldn't have the thrust to control its own fall, and its own weight would break its back before it even touched the ground.

Maybe a whale isn't a bad analogy after all. The blue whale is the biggest animal to ever live on Earth; it's easier to be big in the water.

It's about efficiency, see. Humbolt should never experience a force of acceleration much above 2 MSS, so it's not built to take more than .5 G or so. That's a good safety margin, given the gentle acceleration its drive maxes out at. Building it fragile like this is efficient. Saves mass. Saves construction material. Saves fuel. Saves money.

It doesn't even really have a cargo hold. They just attach stuff to the front. Lots of different configurations are possible. On that trip Humbolt's front end was a greebled sphere of snapped-together rectangular cargo containers half a kilometer across, with a sort of tarp draped across it to protect it from high-velocity dust. There must have been hundreds of thousands of tons of cargo in that greebled sphere of cargo containers. It must have been a non-trivial fraction of Cordillera's yearly offworld trade. Cordillera isn't a big colony; it's a dusty dry world with only a few small seas, marginally habitable, only 160 million inhabitants. The sphere is the most efficient shape for a container, and the protective tarp is light, and Humbolt doesn't need to worry about streamlining. Trucks and trains and planes and boats and Mariposa are long and narrow because if you have to worry about streamlining you want to minimize frontal area. Humbolt doesn't have to worry about friction, so its cargo can be gathered into a sphere, which is efficient.

Free traders like me with ships that can take off and land like Mariposa are still a lifeline on Cordillera. Until a few years back Cordillera had just one orbiting space station to service big cargo ships like Humbolt. The Hegemony gave them another one a few years back though. Gave them another space station. A whole space station. Just dragged it in all the way from Alpha Centauri. The Hegemony must have plans for Cordillera.

Humbolt fell behind quickly. After they'd passed a few million kilometers behind they sent a text message telling me they were about to fire up the big fusion rocket. The burn timing was already registered with Cordillera space control who'd passed it on to me, of course; it was just standard procedure. The Hegemony were sticklers for this kind of thing. The contents of the message were very standard too; if it hadn't been composed by a computer it might as well have been. I wondered if it was AI composed or some sort of standardized form they had a human fill out. There'd be an audio warning and check-in too.

The audio warning was less standardized. A male voice, with an accent that might have been Tolimanish, saying, "This is the Kentauric Hegemony nationalized transport KDY-442-A74F, the Humbolt, calling free trader Mariposa. Hello, Miss, uh ... Miss Cherinise? Did I pronounce that right? Just as per standard procedure we're giving you a redundant warning that we're going to fire up the big atomic flashlight in 600 seconds. Please acknowledge."

Mariposa and Humbolt were almost seven light seconds apart at this point; far enough apart for light lag to noticeably influence conversation. I could have fired up the subspace radio, but Humbolt hadn't bothered, and I wasn't going to spend power on it if they weren't.

I sent back, "This is free trader Mariposa, I understand and acknowledge your message. I see we have the same destination. Does that make this a race? Seems to be going pretty well for me so far if so; I left after you and I'm already ahead of you."

I couldn't resist the dig, even though I knew it was lame and wasn't even an effective one, it just drew attention to my own weakness. I made it sound happy, like I was joking and saying something to have an excuse to talk to somebody for a few minutes.

The voice from the Humbolt said back, "You'd lose. Might want to make sure any un-hardened electronics are protected before we fire the big rocket, and maybe put your fuel tank between your crew and cargo compartments and us, just to be extra safe. You should be OK at that distance, but it's gonna be some real Manhattan Project hours out here when we fire. KDY-442-A74F over and out."

I said back, "Mariposa's been in battles and flare star megaflares and I've had to navigate more than one particularly nasty gas giant and brown dwarf magnetosphere. My ship's built tough, I'll be fine. Free trader Mariposa, over and out."

For some minutes Mariposa and Humbolt fell up away from Cordillera's sun, glowing only with the warmth of life support and radar and power reactor standby power and cargo environment maintenance. Then Humbolt's main rocket fired.

Mariposa can do 4 G at a steady burn, more in a sprint. The big limit is my own tolerance. Compared to Mariposa's muscular rocket, Humbolt's great rocket is weak in thrust. It imparts the gentlest of pushes. Humbolt's great radiator wings soon sizzle with heat at a fifth of a G. It ejects less than 200 kilograms of fuel per second, for a ship that masses hundreds of thousands of tons fueled and loaded. It's built for fuel efficiency, endurance, not thrust. The big rocket fires continuously for more than two weeks, compared to Mariposa's 22 hour 1.2 G burn.

And that efficiency implies its own sort of power. That 200 kilograms flies out of the rocket nozzle at more than two percent the speed of light. Humbolt's big rocket is a butterfly's sigh in terms of thrust, but in terms of energy it's a nuclear bomb that explodes continuously for more than two weeks. Ships like Humbolt have to maneuver near planets using weaker secondary orbital rockets because of the damage that storm of radiation and high-velocity charged particles might do. Alerts squawked nervously as Humbolt became a dark speck at the end a brilliant comet of charged particles and radiation thousands of kilometers long, the brightest thing in Mariposa's sky except for the local sun.

Mariposa uses not a lot of energy to eject a lot of fuel not very fast. This gives it the thrust to blast off the surface of a world. It's like one of those gasoline-powered SUVs you see on a lot of low-population worlds with big stretches of hostile terrain; go anywhere no matter how bad the road, power over rocks and through sucking mud puddles. But it's like an SUV; it guzzles fuel. And fuel-guzzling, in space, ultimately means slow. Humbolt uses terawatts of energy to eject a little fuel very fast, and this makes it fuel-efficient, and fuel-efficient in space ultimately means fast.

The man was right. If it's a race, Mariposa will lose, I'll lose. Humbolt will reach the hyperlimit of Cordillera's system in a little over a month, reach Hyannis in a little over two months, well ahead of me. And with ships like Humbolt the Hegemony can charge shipping prices half of the minimum I can charge to stay in business and come out with a 20% profit. And they can ship high-bulk goods that are just out of reach for me. Mariposa is a flying fuel tank with an engine and a crew quarter and a cargo compartment attached, stuffed into something shaped like a delta-winged aircraft. Humbolt gets almost three times my delta V while being less than half fuel by mass.

Free traders like me kept trade flowing through the age of fragmentation and economic contraction after the disintegration of the Terran Empire. Our tough versatile little blast off from anywhere land anywhere rockets were just what human space needed back then. But it's getting tough for somebody like me to stay in business nowadays.

#my writing #stories #speed fiction #fiction #my fiction

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rubykgrant · 3 years

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OK, here is the text from the sad good-bye angst post, so hopefully it will be easier to read (and also, fixed some of my typos)

To Caboose-

Hey, Caboose… you know how you think you’re my “best friend”? Well, you’re not. You are more like… like the baby brother I kept asking my parents for, but then when I finally got you, I was just really annoyed because you were always in my space and breaking all my stuff, and I would get sick of you… but then one day, something happens, like you swallow a rock or whatever and start to choke, and then I save you, and I learn a lesson about how much I actually care about you. I wish I could have actually, y’know, acted like a real big brother. I could have showed you how to do stuff, taught you stuff, shared stuff with you… I’m sorry I didn’t. I wish I hadn’t yelled at you all the time… I still have no idea why you even liked me so much, I’m a jerk! You were always nice, though. I don’t know, maybe if I actually paid attention to what you said more often, then I would have been able to figure some stuff out, too. Just remember, you’ve still got a lot of people around you who can help you figure stuff out, and even more importantly; you can help them too. You understand some stuff better than anybody else, you figure things out before the rest of us, and they need you Caboose. I know you’re gonna be OK. You’re all gonna be OK. So, don’t be sad. I’m… I’m proud of you… little bro

To Tucker-

Tucker… man, YOU are my best friend. Seriously. Sometimes, when we weren’t hanging out together for whatever stupid nonsense reason, I’d see something and think to myself “I gotta remember to tell Tucker about that”. I’d imagine a whole conversation in my head, and then when I finally saw you again, y’know what would happen? You’d say EXACTLY what I thought you would! You know what else? I still didn’t get bored talking to you. I know it sucked and we didn’t stop complaining about it the whole time, but honestly… when we were just stuck there on Blood Gulch, you and me, talking to each other… that is still one of my favorite memories. I mean, I hated it at the time, but if I had to be stuck anywhere, on a loop… well, anyway. Tucker, I want to tell you something. I know you really well buddy, so I KNOW you feel like people are putting a lot of pressure on you, and I know you’re afraid of messing up, so you probably want to go back to when you didn’t have to try so hard, and then that back-fires because it MAKES you mess up. You don’t have to be perfect, Tucker. Nobody is. It is totally OK to mess up sometimes… but it is OK to actually TRY, too. Don’t stop trying, because… because you really do some amazing things. You’re important, Tucker. Now, go have a beer for me! Also, if it helps… think about me, sometimes. I bet you’d know exactly what I’d say if I was still there

To Donut-

Donut, you are like, my favorite guy over there on the Reds. I bet you didn’t think I liked you at all, considering the whole… “grenade incident” with my girlfriend, but hey- we were all extra stupid back then, huh? Nobody knew what was going on, and we sure weren’t making very good decisions. If Tex had gotten to know you, outside of all the BS we kept getting sucked into, I think she would’ve thought you were OK too. It… it really would have been great if things could have happened that way, if everybody could have just gotten to take a break from all the life-and-death situations, and had a chance to just hang out and chill. We all could use a vacation, but you definitely deserve one. You’ve got a big heart Donut, and even on the worst days, you were somehow still up-beat, trying to stay positive… I guess you kinda get over-looked a lot, but if you weren’t around, things wouldn’t be the same. Don’t stop looking on the bright side. Because you… you kinda ARE the bright side, Donut

To Grif-

Grif, I know pretty much all the crap that has happened to us is… basically my fault. So first of all, sorry man. Believe me, if I could go back and fix everything, I would. Then, maybe you wouldn’t have to get dragged half-way across the galaxy and back. You might be the only one who just wants to sit down and not deal with these stupid problems MORE than ME, and I don’t blame you. In fact, you got the right idea… I mean, what are your favorite things? Eating, taking a nap? Well, good for you! Those are normal things for somebody to want! Heck, those are things people NEED to do. If you don’t eat and don’t sleep, you die. I don’t think you’re lazy Grif, you just want to live long enough to enjoy life and relax. You are… probably the most down-to-earth out of everybody. If you weren’t around to complain, they’d all forget to sit down once in a while, or have a snack. You’re the anchor Grif, not because you hold them back, but because you keep them grounded. So, tell them to shut up and have a pizza party or something!

To Simmons-

Remember waaaay back, when you uh… when you were pretending to be a new Blue guy, and I was sort of “introducing you” to who was on the Red team? Remember how I kinda talked some crap about “a guy named Simmons”? Yeah, I knew that was you. I was just trying to mess with you, which I maybe shouldn’t have done… because I maybe have a problem with being an a-hole… and you didn’t really deserve that. So, yeah, um, I apologize. Besides, I didn’t mean it. You ARE smart, but that isn’t all. Simmons, you’re like… clever, and creative. Not just with “nerdy stuff”, you just… you know a LOT of things, and I bet if your guys actually listened to what you said, you would’ve gotten a lot more done. I bet that gets pretty damn frustrating, because you KNOW you aren’t stupid, and you just want to help, but you just kinda get pushed off to the side. That is why it is actually pretty cool, how you always keep on trying to make stuff happen. You keep trying to help. Actually, I think you really do make a lot of stuff happen, you just don’t always see it… I think you also don’t see the fact that we all actually like you, dude. I mean, I’m an a-hole, and I still like you. Your peachy-pumpkin buddy complains about you, but he also likes you. Don’t ever shut up Simmons, everybody needs to hear what you’ve got to say, and they’d miss talking to you on top of that

To Sarge-

Sarge, as somebody who also yells about the stuff he hates… I know there’s no way you actually hate everything so much. I mean, if you didn’t care about the people around you, would you even bother yelling so much? I doubt it. Um, as somebody who also has a problem with the whole “emotional honesty” thing… I can tell you, it’ll eventually get old. Not saying what you really think, not telling people how you really feel… it gets old. Everybody who has to deal with you will get sick of it, and then you’ll get sick of yourself. Once again, as somebody who maybe kinda sorta dislikes himself… that isn’t a way to be. It gets really old, really fast. Haha, and you ain’t THAT old yet, are you Sarge? So, trust me, don’t waste your time pretending to hate everything, and DEFINITELY don’t wait until the last minute to tell somebody what they really mean to you. It is way better to just talk to people so they know you actually appreciate them… and then stick around for whatever happens after. It can be pretty embarrassing, but you’re a tough guy. You can handle it

To Doc-

Doc, I don’t know why you never just ditched us, because we are basically like… a hydra made out of headache. When you think you stopped one moron, two more show up, and the headache gets more intense. You didn’t deserve this headache… or the headache that tried to literally take-over your body. Has anybody even told you how crazy it is, the fact that you got infected with an AI made of pure rage, and even that couldn’t stop you from being a nice guy at your core? I can’t even imagine how messed that must have been, you didn’t even know what was happening, there was this voice in your head that also hi-jacked your REAL voice, and it wanted to do was cause problems… but you wanted to fix problems. No matter how strong that AI thought it was, you were stronger. You are all about being… kind, and gentle, and peaceful… the rage inside that AI couldn’t kill that part of you. You are a lot tougher than people give you credit for. I wouldn’t blame you if you ever did just want to ditch everybody… but I think they really do like having you with them. They just don’t know it, because we all get too up in our own heads, and we forget about the fact that we aren’t just individuals dealing with dangerous crap… the guy next to us is dealing with it, too. You deserve more attention, Doc. You deserve to ask for help, and actually GET help. You don’t have to be the one that fixes everything. Remind everybody that they need to take care of you, too

To Lopez-

I feel like I should just say “sorry” about a thousand times in a row. I mean, you’ve been getting thrashed around since day one, you never got a break, and on top of that, nobody bothered to try and understand you. Well, I know YOU can understand ME, Lopez. I don’t have time for all the apologies you deserve, but I do want to say something… thank you. Thanks for putting up with everything, over and over again. You didn’t have to, but you did. Oh sure, you’re a “robot”, and most people would assume that means you have to follow orders and do what humans tell you… but hey, from one artificial intelligence to another? We both know that is BS. Despite how exhausting it is to give a damn about this group of clowns, it is even harder to stop giving a damn about them. If anybody ever wants to argue a case for robotic rights, you are a prime example of free will AND the fact that there are ghosts in the machines… I don’t mean like me, I mean like whatever the heck it is that makes emotions happen, and how there is something that makes us ignore logic and reason, just to do the right thing. I think that is part of being human… but it is also part of being alive. You aren’t a human, but you don’t need to be. You’re already a better person than half the a-holes I’ve met in my… very messed-up life. Oh, and Lopez! I bet if you like, drew a crying frowny face on a sticky-note and stuck it to your helmet, everybody would finally get a clue

To Wash-

Wash, I… I’m not sure how to even say this… I am so, so sorry. I am so damn SORRY. Part of me hurt you… when you first got implanted with Epsilon, it almost destroyed you. I didn’t even realize this until I got my own memories sorted out, but when that AI first linked-up with you, that part of me… sort of shared YOUR memories, too. I never knew how to bring it, because how do you start THAT conversation? “Hey man, I know who your favorite Care Bear is” or “Dude, remember your cat Loki?”. Yeah, no. I wish we could’ve gotten to actually know each other NOW, with me being more like who I actually am, or at least what I feel like is the real me. Maybe then we could’ve talked, and I could’ve apologized, and I could’ve told you that… you’re OK, Wash. I still feel kinda guilty, I know how you think and feel, but I only know that because my most painful memories got shoved into your head. What I mean is, this feels like I know a secret, but you didn’t want to tell me… well, now you know I know, and I hope you can forgive me. Oh, and for real, don’t be so afraid to be a dork! I know you felt like the reject in the Freelancer group, but come on! Look at who you’re with now! Let them make you laugh. Let them talk you into doing stupid stuff. Go be a goofball. Make them watch Care Bears with you. Now, seriously, do that. It’ll be hilarious!

To Carolina-

I thought maybe… if I saved you for last, it would be easier… but it really isn’t. How do I even EXPLAIN, how I feel? I went through… a LOT of crap. I got manipulated, tortured, used as a weapon, forced to hurt people, torn apart and put back together again. I hated most of my life… and you know what? I’d still go through it all again, knowing I’d eventually meet this group of weirdos, and knowing that I’d eventually meet YOU. I doubt I’m what most people would consider a “father figure”, and honestly the idea of being in charge of keeping a very small person alive scares the heck out of me, but um, I- I guess, uh… aw, whatever, I wish I could have been there for you when you needed a dad. I’m sure I would’ve sucked, but if nothing else, I wouldn’t have just stood back and watched while you half-way killed yourself trying to prove yourself. You’ve got nothing to prove, Carolina. You also don’t need to keep hating yourself, either. I know you’re carrying around all the guilt for every mistake you every made, and I know you can’t just forget about it… but PLEASE, don’t go and half-way kill yourself because you think you need to be punished somehow. Everybody does bad things, some worse than others, but that doesn’t mean you are going to be nothing but a bad person forever. I also want to say… if she… if she had known… Carolina, if Tex had realized who SHE was and who YOU were before everything went to hell… if things had been different, you two would have gotten along. No, more than that… she would have loved you, Carolina. Your mother always did, but Tex would have too, just from getting to know you. As a person, daughter or not, she would have loved you. I think maybe… that was why she kept trying so hard, every time she got brought back. She didn’t have a choice about being there, but once she was, there was something inside her that kept telling her she had something important to do… but she forgot what it was. Allison wanted to come back to you. She wanted to get back to her daughter. That was her real failure, dying before she could see you again. I wish she could have, just once… and I’m so glad I got to know you, just for a while. It wasn’t long enough. Carolina, you’ve been through a lot. You’ve lost two families, your parents and your friends from the Freelancer program… but you aren’t alone anymore. You’ve got a new family now, and they are a tough bunch to get rid of! I mean it, you are stuck with them now. If I can give one line of “fatherly advice”, it is this… show them who’s boss. Are they acting crazy> You act crazier! Are they being annoying? You show them they don’t even know the MEANING of annoying! Remember, you are the BEST, Carolina. So, be the best at being a problem. Living with them is like a game, and if you try to be the only one with brain cells, you’re gonna lose. Haha… man, this is already too much, I didn’t mean to ramble so long… I guess I feel like… I feel like if I just keep talking… if I just keep TALKING, then this won’t have to end, it won’t be over, I won’t have to… I guess I just have to say it, don’t I? OK, OK… I love you, Carolina. Good-bye

#text #my writing #red vs blue #rvb #michael j caboose #lavernius tucker #franklin delano donut #dexter grif #dick simmons #sarge #lopez the heavy #doc dufresne #agent washington #agent carolina #leonard church

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pulpwriterx · 3 years

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THE RISE AND FALL OF KYLO REN (CHAPTER TWO)

Chapter Two: The Punk and the Godfather

Two Years Later

Han Solo had no idea what Snoke’s Number One guy would want with a smuggler like him, but he was about to find out.

The Stormtrooper brought him and Chewie to a conference room.

The big man in a black mask and a black cape sitting at the head of the table brought back some bad memories.

Han was in the presence of another Vader.

He could feel it.

“Take their binders off. Leave us.” The man told the trooper.

The trooper did as he was ordered.

“Come to the head of the table, gentlemen.”

Han sat on one side of the Man in the Black Mask, and Chewie sat on the other.

“Did either of you pirates ever wonder what the Empire did with sixty years of the spoils of Galactic war? I know more than do do. A good chunk of it ended up on this ship. The Finalizer. I asked Master Snoke for this ship. But he wasn’t inclined to give it to me. So, a couple of years ago? I took it. The ship is mine. And so is everything in it. Did you know that before I took this ship, the Galactic black market was completely disorganized? A bunch of small time operators, with no supply chain, and nobody in charge. Untalented amateurs. Now? You can get whatever you want, on any First Order ship, or base. And to some extent , along the Outer Rim. For a price. But that’s not enough for me. It’s so small-time. But then again, Captain Solo? So are you.”

“Look, pal, if you’re going to kill us, kill us. But I’m not going to sit here and listen to shit like that coming from a guy like you!”

“Sure you are. Because there’s money in it for you.”

“Money?” Han asked.

Chewbacca coughed into his hand.

He was trying not to laugh.

“Yes. Money. And something better than money. Did the trooper walk you past the hangar. Did you see the black, streamlined YT-2400? She’s my ship. I called her the Hellfire. You know how I could afford a ship like that? I’m sitting on a gold mine. Imperial gold coins by the chestful, guns and coaxium are just the tip of the iceberg. But I have no Galactic network. No connections, outside the Hutt Syndicate. Not like Han Solo does.”

“You want me to go into business with you?”

The masked man kicked a black chest over to Han.

“That’s one of my chests full of Imperial Gold Coins. I also have a First Order Captain’s Medal for you. And one for your co-pilot. And don’t worry that I’ll make you do all the dirty work. The Hellfire is the fastest ship in the Galaxy. She made the Kessel Run in 11.5 parsecs. I had to fry three engines, put in an experimental space-time hyprerdrive, fry another engine, spend a fortune on streamlining and retractable hoods for my guns. Not to mention I almost got myself killed, several times. To do it, I had to fly the Hellfire sideways through a pocket in space-time while at lightspeed. But I did it. I beat you, you old pirate son of a bitch.”

The truth finally hit Han Solo like a ton of bricks.

“Ben? Ben, holy Mother Force, is that you inside that tin can, kid?”

Kylo Ren released the mechanism that loosened his mask, and took it off.

“Who the fuck else would it be?”

Han had about five faces that he normally made.

He cycled through all of them in less than a minute.

“Am I going into business with you, or with the First Order?”

“Me. They’re convenient for my purposes.”

“Who?”

“The First Order. I’ll use them to finish my grandfather’s work. But there’s only one problem with finishing his journey.”

“There’s no money in it.”

“Not a red farkling cent. I’ve already got my command crew loading up the Falcon. They’re loyal to me. They won’t talk.”

“Because they’re afraid of you?”

“No. Because I’m a good commander, and I never ask them to do anything I won’t do. Because they respect me. And because I cut them all in for a piece of the action. You’re my father, Solo, and I don’t want to kill you. So I hope you take the deal.”

“Listen to him talking tough, Chewie. Kid, I never knew you took the family business so seriously. I just thought you wanted to get away from Jedi School.”

“Well, I did that, didn’t I?”

Kylo Ren smirked.

“Yeah, you did. Of course I’ll take the deal.”

“Good.”

Kylo Ren took his glove off, and extended his hand to his father.

He and Han Solo shook on it.

***

“But you can’t leave me, Kiera! I love you! I freed you and your whole family from slavery! I saved your life! I’ve given you everything you ever asked for. Tell me what more you want? Anything? Anything in the Galaxy? It’s yours. Your family. Do they need a new house? More money? Anything.”

“Kylo, I am grateful to you for your mercy and your generosity. In spite of everything you do, you’re still a good man at heart. And you really are some kind of man. But I can’t live like this, anymore! Your secrets, your moods, your nightmares! You’re…a whole bunch of guys, and some of them? They scare me. I hate to break your heart, I do, because you’ve given me everything. And I know I’ll never find another man like you. But that’s part of the problem. I’m an ordinary woman. You don’t need an ordinary woman. You need somebody like you.”

“You’re leaving me, too! Just like in Jedi School! Why? Why do you all leave me?”

“Your love’s too heavy on the human soul, Kylo. I’ll never forget you. Or what you’ve done for me. But I can’t bear it. You’re going to break me. I can feel it.”

Kylo Ren sighed.

“I understand. I’ll take you back to Tattoine. But not before I buy you that garage you always wanted.”

“You don’t have to do that, Kylo.”

“Yes I do. If you have to leave me? I want to make sure you do it with a solid-gold parachute. Will you still be my mechanic?”

“Yeah. And when you come to get some work done? Don’t feel like you need to stay at an inn.”

***

“Kylo, let me in.”

“Go away, Phasma!”

She let herself in.

“Why do you do this to yourself? Every time, you think this one, this girl’s the one. I love her, and she’ll never kick me in the teeth and take me for everything but the clothes on my back. And every time, you’re wrong!”

“Maybe if you had more than two days a week for me, Phasma?”

“That’s more than enough, Kylo. But maybe we’ll make it three, for a while. Unless we try to kill each other. Now, wouldn’t you like to take a bath, and shave, and brush your teeth? You stink of self-pity and Huttese whiskey.”

***

Kylo Ren's face, behind his mask, was incredulous.

“I’m not following you, Solo. What the fark are you talking about?"

He really wanted a drink.

But he had the mask on.

“Look, Ren, you’re kidding yourself if you think Her Generalship is done with you. And if you think Snoke is going to continue to let me live? It ain’t gonna be money, money, money, and business as usual, forever. She’s going to push from one end and he’s going to push from the other. And eventually? We're going to be in a tight spot where Leia sends me to get you, and Snoke orders you to get me. So we have to make a plan for it.”

Kylo Ren called to the barmaid.

“Bring me a pitcher of Corellian Ale, a bottle of Huttese whiskey, a packet of cigarillos and a double serving of tonight’s special. And whatever Captain Solo wants.”

In the dark, smoky cantina, Kylo Ren took off his mask, and gloves.

In the three years they had been in business, he had never done that.

Ben had a black eye, and a full beard under it, and his hair fell to his shoulders.

Two of the fingers he ran through his hair were taped together, and all of his knuckles were black and blue.

Even in the dark, Han could see that the kid wasn’t at his best.

But that wasn’t all he could see.

“I know. I need a shave, and a haircut, and I look like hell. You were in the Infantry. You know what the Imperial Dirty Work is like. That, and Kiera left me. They always leave me. Where the fuck are my drinks?"

“Everybody is so full of shit! You don’t look like Vader, you look like me!” Han said, proudly.

"Great."

"Don't worry about that girl, kid. You get too serious about these women who are just in it to take what they can get from you. Let it go. She just wasn't the right one for you."

"Who is?"

"You'll know when you meet her. The Thunderbolt will come and knock you right on your ass."

The food and drinks came, and Kylo hid his face from the barmaid.

“How about a cold pack? He’s hiding his face because it looks like it’s been through a machine.” Han asked the barmaid.

“Yeah. I think I look like both of you. You, and my grandfather.” Ben said, after she left.

Kylo drank half off the picture of beer. He also tossed back the slick, viscous, oily Huttese whiskey, right from the bottle. Then, holding the cold pack against his injured eye with one hand, he started shoveling his food into his mouth with the other.

Han was going to ask him if he always drank like that, but it was obvious that the kid was tired, he was in pain, and he probably dragged himself out of bed just to come to the meeting.

“So what’s your plan, Solo?”

“Well, Kylo Skywalker had to come from somewhere, right? Back on Arkanis, he has to have a father. With a name. And papers. And a story. And who could a guy like Kylo Skywalker, AKA Kylo Ren trust to watch his back other than his own father?" Han said.

“You want to join the First Order?"

"No. I want to join my son, and make sure he doesn't die in battle, get assassinated, or drink himself to death."

There was a commotion at the door, and a tall blonde woman in an Imperial uniform pushed her way over to the table.

“What are you doing in this dive, Kylo?”

“Meeting my business partner, Captain.”

“Business partner!”

Phasma looked from one man to the other.

“Business partner! You are so full of religious nerfshit! That’s your father, isn’t it? Don't lie to me, Kylo. It's VERY obvious. Are you trying to impress him? He doesn’t look impressed! He looks worried and sad! Why are you always such a child?” Phasma insisted.

“Don’t talk to me like that, in public, in front of Solo!”

“Solo! What kind of a way is that to talk about your father? If I had treated my father with that kind of disrespect, I would not have lived long enough to learn enough from him to give him a warrior’s death! I didn’t know this meeting was with your own damn father! He would have waited, until you were in presentable shape!"

“Phasma, don't lecture me. I’ll leave with you when we’re done talking! Business doesn't wait until you're at your best."

"In your case, Kylo, that would be never."

Han averted the next phase of what he figured would be a long argument.

“Hold up, Vader Junior. How bad is he, sister?”

“My Lord Ren is supposed to be in bed.”

“I thought so. Well kid, think about it. Next month, we'll iron the whole thing out. Figure out when Han Solo disappears and Papa Kylo turns up.”

Ben pushed the bottle of whiskey across the table.

Han took a drink from it.

Kylo turned to Captain Phasma.

“Sit down. You came for this, Phasma, now you’re in it. But I’m warning you. Don’t try to cross me. Or Solo.”

“Or you'll kill me? You couldn’t.”

“No, but I could, sister. You want me to kill her, now, kid?” Han asked.

Casually.

“That won’t be necessary. Yet.”

“I wouldn’t cross you, Kylo. I can’t cross your son, General Solo. I owe him the debt of my life and my honor.”

“Oh. I see. And that’s all, huh? OK. I’ll play along. So, you get it, Ren?”

“So far. But then what?” Kylo Ren asked.

“Well, you and Captain Blondie have to keep up appearances and back my new identity until the war is over. It won’t be a farkling picnic for me. But it’ll keep the business going, and it’ll keep me alive. I know you don’t think you’d ever feel guilty about killing me, but trust me, Junior. Once I’m dead? You’ll miss me.”

Kylo finished his picture of beer and banged it on the table.

“You were a terrible father, Solo.”

“You hear that, Captain Blondie? I’m a rotten father. I left his mother. I’m in business with him. I meet up with him, in that mask. I never see his face. He calls me Solo. Every time I see him, I risk my life. His mother won’t see him. His uncle abandoned him. They won’t come near him, because of their fucking precious religion. Not now he’s embraced his inner Vader. But I don’t care. He’s my son. Whatever he does, whoever he is? He’s my son. And I’m with him. That’s right, you spoiled farkling brat! I’m a rotten father.”

"Okay, so you're not as bad as you used to be. But I'm worse than ever. Worse every day. Let's face it, Solo. Nobody in this farkling Galaxy gives a damn about me."

“I do. Why the hell do you think I don’t wanna die? Somebody in this family has to know what the fark is going on. You got some brains, alright, kid, but your mother and your Uncle Luke? Their heads are are full of Jedi nerfshit, and they don't know what the fark is going on."

Kylo Ren raised his pitcher.

"I'll drink to that, Solo." He said.

Link to Chapter Three- Tainted Love

#reylo #reylo daily #reylo fanfic #tros fix it #smuggler ben solo #ben solo lives #han solo lives

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tha3 · 4 years

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𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒂

from dua lipa’s album future nostalgia some implied nsfw ahead

future nostalgia

‘ I wanna change the game. ’ ‘ I know you’re dying, trying to figure me out. ’ ‘ my name’s on the tip of your tongue. ’ ‘ keep running your mouth. ’ ‘ no matter what you do I’m gonna get it without ya. ’ ‘ I know you ain’t used to a female alpha. ’ ‘ you keep on talking that talk. ’ ‘ one day you’re gonna blast out. ’ ‘ I can’t build you up if you ain’t tough enough. ’ ‘ I can’t teach a man how to wear his pants. ’

don’t start now

‘ did the heartbreak change me? ’ ‘ look at where I ended up. ’ ‘ I’m all good already, so moved on, it’s scary. ’ ‘ I’m not where you left me at all. ’ ‘ don’t show up. ’ ‘ don’t start caring about me now. ’ ‘ walk away. you know how. ’ ‘ aren’t you the guy who tried to hurt me with the word goodbye? ’ ‘ though it took some time to survive you, I’m better on the other side. ’ ‘ if you don’t want to see me dancing with somebody, don’t show up. ’

cool

‘ guess I never had a love like this. ’ ‘ we been up all goddamn night. ’ ‘ keep it going ‘till we see the sunlight. ’ ‘ baby I could see us in the real life. ’ ‘ you know you got me losing all my cool. ’ ‘ I’m burning up on you. ’ ‘ I love the way that you move. ’ ‘ never running out of juice when it’s only me and you. ’ ‘ I like us better when we’re intertwined. ’ ‘ the way you touch me got me losing my senses. ’ ‘ put your love with your lips on mine. ’ ‘ I’ll show you heaven. ’

physical

‘ common love isn’t for us. ’ ‘ we created something phenomenal. ’ ‘ don’t you agree? ’ ‘ who needs to go to sleep when I got you next to me? ’ ‘ all night I’ll riot with you. ’ ‘ I know you got my back and you know you got me too. ’ ‘ I don’t wanna live another life cuz this one’s pretty nice. ’ ‘ hold on just a little tighter. ’ ‘ tell me if you’re ready. ’

levitating

‘ I know a galaxy and I can take you for a ride. ’ ‘ you met me at the perfect time. ’ ‘ you want me. ’ ‘ I want you, baby. ’ ‘ I got you. ’ ‘ you’re my starlight. ’ ‘ I need you. ’ ‘ come on, dance with me. ’ ‘ I believe that you’re for me. ’ ‘ I feel it in our energy. ’ ‘ I see us written in the stars. ’ ‘ we can go wherever. ’ ‘ let’s do it, now or never. ’ ‘ nothing’s ever, ever too far. ’ ‘ you can fly away with me tonight. ’

pretty please

‘ I think I lied a little. ’ ‘ I wasn’t going to change. ’ ‘ that went out the window. ’ ‘ I know that I seem a little stressed out. ’ ‘ I miss you. ’ ‘ I need your love. ’ ‘ when my mind is running wild, could you help me slow it down? ’ ‘ put my mind at ease. ’ ‘ I need your hands on me. ’ ‘ come try me. ’ ‘ come find me. ’

hallucinate

‘ I’m gonna love you like a fool. ’ ‘ I could string you along. ’ ‘ I couldn’t live without your touch. ’ ‘ I’m losing my mind. ’ ‘ you’re my one. ’ ‘ I wanna be right where you are. ’ ‘ kill me slowly with your kiss. ’

love again

‘ I never thought that I would find a way out. ’ ‘ I never thought I’d hear my heartbeat so loud. ’ ‘ you got me in love again. ’ ‘ I used to think that I was made out of stone. ’ ‘ I used to spend so many nights on my own. ’ ‘ touch me so I know I’m not crazy. ’ ‘ never have I ever met somebody like you. ’ ‘ I used to be afraid of love and what it might do. ’ ‘ so many nights, my tears fell harder than rain. ’ ‘ I was scared I would take my broken heart to the grave. ’ ‘ I’d rather die than have to live in a storm like before. ’ ‘ I can’t believe I finally found someone. ’ ‘ you’re the one that I want. ’ ‘ I’m not afraid anymore. ’

break my heart

‘ I’ve always been the one to say the first goodbye. ’ ‘ I had to get it wrong to know just what I like. ’ ‘ you say my name like I have never heard before. ’ ‘ this time I know for sure. ’ ‘ you know you can get whatever you want from me. ’ ‘ I would’ve stayed at home. ’ ‘ I was doing better alone. ’ ‘ when you said ‘hello’ I knew that was the end of it all. ’ ‘ now there ain’t no letting you go. ’ ‘ I wonder, when you go, if I stay on your mind? ’ ‘ two can play that game. ’ ‘ everyone before you was a waste of time. ’ ‘ you got me. ’

good in bed

‘ let’s get to the point. ’ ‘ you love to disappoint me, don’t you? ’ ‘ I’ve been thinking it’d be better if we didn’t know each other. ’ ‘ it’d be better if we didn’t stay together. ’ ‘ I know it’s really bad. ’ ‘ we drive each other mad. ’ ‘ come and take it out on me. ’ ‘ you always let me down. ’ ‘ we don’t know how to talk. ’

boys will be boys

‘ it’s second nature to walk home before the sun goes down. ’ ‘ we laugh it off to hide our fear. ’ ‘ there’s nothing funny here. ’ ‘ they’re all listening. ’ ‘ boys will be boys, but girls will be women. ’ ‘ you’re probably doing something wrong. ’

#rp meme #lyric meme #prompt #rp prompt #inbox meme

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glopratchet · 4 years

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000

They live on what little food they can grow themselves or trade for from the villages along the road He has been raised in a simple hut by his mother and father, who are both very poor farmers The only other person living here besides them is Simo himself, but he spends most of his time playing games with his brother, Nils Beebe-Beebe The next day you wake up to find that your innkeeper is gone without an explanation as usual called the "Beeship" It's a small device that will allow him to travel through space instantly If he uses it properly, he'll be able to get anywhere in the galaxy within minutes You know all this because he tells you about it every once in awhile while you're eating breakfast You wonder if he really needs all these extra profits, but then again maybe not you've got a lot of money now after all to a countless number of worlds throughout the galaxy, which means you are making a good profit You order extra alligator parts shipped in from dozens of other planets each week It gets to the point where half the bar is filled with your stockpile All of this allows you to buy yourself a little place in a much better part of town, the prices are incredibly cheap now that everyone is leaving to search for the new planet alligator milk, alligator gall bladders, alligator hearts, legs, and even genitals All of this money also employs a whole crew to work in your inn helping customers with their alligator parts and shipping requests You have no idea why some types go for more than others Whatever the nobles request is most likely what you'll ship out to them Now that you actually own your inn, you get to experience something you've missed out on for the past year ! you still wear your golden one everyday and love looking at it Feeling well enough financially to do this, you decide to splurge on a new home for yourself The house is right near a picturesque park with running trails, man made waterfalls, and Australian style cable cars to take you over the historically significant city wall whenever you like It also comes with its own large stretch limo for easy transport ! You sure do like wearing those too! Now of course there's a high demand for these necklaces, meaning there's plenty of crime involved with getting them around here After all, even you committed a crime or two to get your first one Only the nobles and authorities are allowed to wear them openly on their necks Though there are several ways the police have of spotting somebody wearing fakes or stolen teeth necklaces everyday Gon' down to the river and throw my billfallow trout-tickler Upwands to stap my belly like a ozzin Muttonheads! Heaving haycocks, have you no more decency than to poach in full view of the public? and not an ounce of backbone amongst the lot of ya iths swining in our trees like so many orange ornaments and you lot cut them down for sport Flying pigs! knights Given your inn's history, this is usually the type of people you get coming in nowadays Drunken idiots looking to make an uproar and fill the place with smoke Bores! besides every once in awhile you still get the odd adventurer type who has heard about your place Of course these drunkards are a big part of your business nowadays You might not make as much money as you used to, but you can honestly say you're enjoying yourself a lot more now He's got more necklaces on than a charmed serpent Your head chef in the kitchen as of recently, he's an experimental gourmet chef of some sort, always trying out newfangled recipes with alligator meat too tough to be served anywhere else When you first started the alligator fad, he was the one who came up with the concept of an alligator sausage and has also created dishes such as alligator poutine and gator tail mac and cheese , similar to a Mao jacket Bill falls in through the back door of the kitchen, out of breath and clutching his chest making wheezing noises He's clad in a red Hawaiian shirt He wears blue jeans with brown leather belt with a rectangular silver buckle He has on work boots that are clearly used for manual labor of some sort, perhaps farming He wears a brown leather tool belt There are tongs, pliers, and other such tools associated with hands When he sees you, his eyes dart around looking at everything but you "Um hello," He says nervously, "I'm here to apply for the head chef position " a blue light at the center of his vision YOU: "Hmmm say, weren't you in here last night drinking off your sorrows?" "among other things "Strike one," YOU: "And you also almost single handedly destroyed the tavern in a drunken stupor I'm not sure if that makes you the best person to take the esteemed position of head chef or the worst " Bil claps his hands together In the middle of the face is a mouth that acts as a filter with an opening and closing lid Inside are interlocking teeth that cut and carve the shaggy shreds of tobacco that continuously fall on the ground The whole contraption is held in his mouth with wires that go around the head "Alrighty then," Bil says excitedly , as they are fighting over bills that have come in But it hardly matters, he gets weekly allowances for doing chores that he doesn't even do anyway To amuse himself, he often wanders into taverns requesting work as a bartender After the tavern gets trashed he moves along to the next tavern He has before worked at this tavern for a year before, but that was only because of his connections in the past involvements he had with Keira You suspect trouble "I think I should let you know that you would be working under me," You say That instantly worries him w Bil looks down, letting out a sigh Huh? YOU: "What?" GAME: You've chosen Conservative mode! This option will result in having a manageable business without much risk, but the profits are likely to be low "It's not that I doubt your commanding abilities!" Bil says Uh-Oh It's Showtime! As Bil throws in playing with his sawfish teeth interlocking device "Ummm Welll its just that I was under the impression that you were the daughter of Ola our departed co-chef Also my age and not fit to command anyone," Bil says as he squirms uncomfortably You've met my Pa before " Silence, evident confusion, and slight panic washes over Bill's sober face Get him on the couch! "Perhaps we should discuss this matter at a later time I am terribly busy with inventory and organizing everything until the day that Ola arrives in ten hours via hover train," Bill says attempting to leave You clamp your hand around Bil Muscat's thin arm He jumps back and lets out a loud yelp YOU: "Keep your voice down What I need you to do is organize and inventory the smaller alcohol bottles," "Yes Boss " Bil says "And Bil, do it quickly, or you'll feel my wrath The man frightened and near tears he cautiously approaches the alcohol storage closet This isn't going to plan, but the least effective time to do this would be now You need to guide him along "Hey, you're new, right?" a man says to Bil as he steps off the hover tram You recognize him as another alcohol supplier (and buddy of yours) named Zimak "I've got a large shipment that arrived this morning Where would you like it? I can't unstow everything myself " THIS CHOICE MATTERS! NOTE: You may select more then one choice for your answer Option One: Place the alcohol in a different location from the current supplies Option Two - Get a jump on this shipment and place it with the current alcohol "Leave it with the main supply," You shout Bil is too overwhelmed to speak Soon he manages to locate the crates of alcohol in Zimak's shipment He soon begins separating the bottles organized by type and size Pleased as punch Bil says, "I see you sent out for some top-shelf alcohol again, but what's this?" Bil's holding up a blue aluminum canister that says fizzy peach wuzzy on the side You now have a final answer of where the can is placed Placing it somewhere else will break your streak! Option One: Place it with the main stock Option Two: Place it elsewhere on another shelf YOU: "Stock it where you cherry-picked items are located " "But I need those for gifts and personal use," bawls Bill as he attempts to collect himself again Before long he'll cry in front of the customers! "Sweet Christmas! Would you calm down? Does that stuff really do anything for you?" You say as you snatch the canned good out of his hands and begin to open it "Man, this fruit punch is a real lemon-lime bomb! Heh See? I made a joke!" You continue to mock Bil until he begins to seriously sob into his hands While he attempts to regain his composure, you send the Zimak fellow on his way Zimak, why did you send me such an alcoholic beverage?" You say still holding the metallic tasting blue liquid "I dunno, I thought you guys would like it for one of your parties or something That stuff's pretty popular and my kids love the cartoon on the side of the can "You're lucky I like you and this was free," You say lightly pushing Zimak, before he takes his leave Somehow you'll have to get through the day without offending anyone too harshly or else the word will spread that you're a mean boss and folks will avoid shopping here Last thing you want is to have this place become a ghost town Maybe get a bit drunk today That reminds you of Bill's earlier freakout over his bottle of Stoli You better see what exactly is bugging Bil today Upon entering the break-room (what you call the refrigerator) you find Bil wailing and gnashing his teeth over one of the shelves You figured it out instantly; his beloved Smirnoff isn't there! "Things can't be that bad " You trail off as he turns to you sobbing Oh boy He took it!" "Who took what?" "Gunther! He took my bottle!" At this point Bil wipes his nose on his shirt sleeve and begins pointing an accusatory finger at you, "It's your fault! If you hadn't opened that big can of worms by pulling that April fools prank, he would've left everything alone " You can't tell if this is the alcohol or his medical condition but either way, you need to get to the bottom of this "Alright, you know what? I'll go talk to him myself You just sit here and relax " "I won't relax until I get my drinks back!" Well, at least that's a start in the right direction Now you just hope Gunther is home

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justmenoworries · 5 years

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If Ben’s Aliens Were Their Own Characters (Part 2: Alien Force + Ultimate Alien)

Part 2: The Electric Boogaloo.

Sometime in his teens, Ben decides that it’s unfair to only set some of his aliens free and with the help of Azmuth, re-creates the glitch from part 1 in order to bring out the rest of them too.

The compound the alines have lived in until now needs to get expanded again to make room fro 24 new family members.

With the help of Grandpa Max, some plumbers (and a very reluctant Azmuth) they eventually manage.

Swampfire: Haughty and arrogant. He suffers from a major inferiority-superiority complex due to the fact that he feels being one of the aliens who did not manage to get out of the Omnitrix by themselves makes him weaker somehow. Thus he has an intense, but often one-sided rivalry with all off his “older” siblings, especially Heatblast since their powers are the most alike. Ironically, the two of them make a really great team in battle, if Swampfire manages to keep his ribbing in check for five seconds and Heatblast in turn manages to not rise to the bait for once.

Jetray: A tough, no-nonsense hero. He takes his job as a plumber very seriously and has no patience for his siblings’ childish antics, though he gets caught up in them fairly frequently. He’s more of a scout than a fighter but that doesn’t mean you can afford to underestimate him.

Echo Echo: A music lover through and through, but also a little anti-social. He spends most of his time in his room listening to music from every corner of the galaxy and even composing some of his own sometimes. It’s usually dubstep. You’d best have some earplugs ready when stepping through his door, because he often forgets that not every species has eardrums of steel like he does. It’s a miracle the house hasn’t come down yet.

Goop: Perky, friendly and just downright adorable. Nothing really gets him down (except maybe snatching his anti-gravity device, but why would you? Why would you??? You Monster.). Actually getting on his case is ill-advised, though. He will mess you up if you insist on keeping up whatever bad thing it is you’re doing right now. All while chattering and giggling excitedly.

Humungousaur: The strong silent type. It’s not that nothing gets to him, it’s just that he doesn’t think he has much to say. Which makes it all the more baffling when someone happens to reach his breaking point (hurting his family) and he just goes ballistic, roaring and throwing punches, kicks and tail-swipes left and right. He’s the literal definition of calm before a storm.

Big Chill: He somehow manages to be the Mom Friend and super chill at the same time. He’s a good listener and great at giving life advice, but he also won’t hesitate to use his snark to call someone out on their bullshit. He’s sassy, enjoys quiet places, cool nights and meditation.

Brainstorm: Extremely snooty and thinks he’s the smartest of them all. He is not. That would be Grey Matter, but good luck trying to tell him that, you’ll either be ignored or called an inferior being in some way. Secretly, he just wants Grey Matter to acknowledge him as an equal and prove his worth as a great mind.

Alien X: Like in the show, Alien X doesn’t really talk or do much, because Serena and Bellicus won’t let him most of the time. Occasionally they release him from their on-going debate so he can at least spend a little time with his family. When he’s himself, he’s a composed, intelligent, charming individual. As a result of being essentially a prisoner ins his own body 90 % of the time he’s terrified of waking up one day and finding himself being alone, because the world moved on while he was forced to play referee to his split personalities. In order to help him at least a little bit, Grey Matter and Brainstorm (with a little help from Upgrade) in a rare act of cooperation, modified his room to notify either of them when he’s about to wake up, so they can inform the rest of the family and they can all welcome him together. He appreciates it immensely.

Chromastone: Sophisticated and responsible. He tries not to let it show, but he feels really pressured by his role as Sugilite’s successor and doubts he can actually live up to his role as a guardian of Petropia. He’s especially nervous and awkward around Diamondhead, since both of them don’t really know how they should treat each other. Diamondhead hesitates giving Chromastone orders in battle, despite being the leader, because shouldn’t Chromastone take that role? He’s the guardian after all. Chromastone on the other hand struggles with actually taking command. Diamondhead is older and has been the leader far longer than him, so should he really be handing him the reigns? As you can see, it’s complicated with these two.

Nanomech: Did somebody say Napoleon complex? He’s smaller than even Grey Matter, yet if you listen to him boast, you’d think he was the galaxy’s mightiest fighter. To be completely honest, his arrogance isn’t that unfounded: If he actually gets over himself and fights smart not hard by using his height to act as a saboteur or spy he’s crazy dangerous. He’s always eager to help whack some bad guys and apart from the above mentioned ego problem, he’s a nice little guy. (Tho if you want to stay on his good side, don’t mention the “little” part where he might hear.) His origin of having been part of a malevolent hive mind once is something that bothers him immensely and a huge part of the reason for him acting like he does. He wants to stand out and for everyone to think he’s a mighty hero, because he doesn’t want to be seen by others (or himself) as still part of the Swarm or even just less of an individual because he technically used to be part of it. Mentioning the queen is a sure-fire way to make him uncomfortable, because it’s a nagging fear of his that she’s still out there and that he’ll fall under her control one day. He has rather graphic nightmares about that, which he of course keeps to himself.

Spidermonkey: Energetic, upbeat and very talkative. Your typical hyper-active monkey-character, with a fair amount of mischief on the side. He, Ripjaws and Ditto hit it off right away. Beware, for together they are the ultimate (pun intended) prank trio. For Spidermonkey, everything is essentially one big joke. Even fights he takes more as an opportunity to have fun than an actual job. When you hear him stop laughing it’s usually a sign just how serious a situation is.

Lodestar: Competent, but really emotional and clumsy. He’s the ‘New Guy’ in every way. Really wants to prove himself, tends to lose control of his powers and as a result often pummels himself or his teammates with all kinds of metal stuff and/or literally loses his head, also can’t help acting overly hammy. His magnet powers are tied to his emotions, causing all kinds of crazy things to happen whenever he’s upset. Which, considering how much of a klutz he can be, is often. He never means to cause as much ruckus and chaos as he does, but the universe in general just seems to have it out for him in that regard. He often spends time with Big Chill, since the latter is often the only one with enough patience to properly train him and is always there to hear him out.

Rath: LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING, PERSON READING THIS ENTRY ON A TUMBLR POST!! RATH DOESN’T NEED SOME FANCY-PANTS TUMBLRITE TO WRITE HIM A PERSONALITY! RATH ALREADY GOT A PERSONALITY! IN FACT, RATH’S GOT SO MUCH PERSONALITY, I COULD RIP SOME OUT OF MYSELF, THROW IT AT YOUR FACE AND STILL HAVE SO MUCH LEFT I COULD WRITE THIS WHOLE ENTRY MYSELF!! (He’s also got a huge soft-spot for children and his family, but don’t expect him to admit that.)

Armodrillo: He’s not very smart and, despite being really big and really strong, he gets scared very easily. Essentially a big friendly child. His siblings don’t like taking him on missions because even though he can be destructive as heck when in action (or maybe exactly because of that) he doesn’t even like fighting. He just does it to defend himself and others, but his drilling powers and invincibility is often crucial. They always make sure at least one of them stays by his side throughout the whole thing to act as a sort of guardian, though.

AmpFibian: Extremely shy and introverted. Talking to strangers is not his thing. His first instinct when meeting or seeing someone new is usually to book it into the nearest electronic device and stay there until he’s sure they’re safe to be around. He probably had the hardest time out of all the aliens to adapt to his new life out of the watch. Even in present day the only one of his siblings he’ll occasionally hang around with is Echo Echo and even then they don’t really talk much. They just both share a liking for electronic music, so they’ll mostly just listen to that whenever AmpFibian feels brave enough to leave his room.

ChamAlien: The definition of Creepy/Chaotic Good (yes, even more than Big Chill and Ghost Freak). He’s....hard to read. He has this grin on his face 24/7, as if he knows something that nobody else does and the fact that he really seems to like appearing where no one expected him to be doesn’t help. He also doesn’t talk much, only when he thinks the person he’s addressing needs to hear what he has to say.

Clockwork: He’s the detective of the family. Mainly because of his ability to recreate past events, but he also has some rather impressive deductive skills. He and Grey Matter often act as mission control, though Clockwork works in the field as well more often than not. He’s not much of a fighter, but his time powers give him an advantage or two.

Fasttrack: You’d think he’d be a loud bundle of uncontrollable energy like his older brother XLR8, but you’d be wrong. Yes, he’s fast but that’s about the only thing he and XLR8 have in common. Fasttrack is serious, confident, mature and focused, never slacking off on a mission even for a moment. Honestly, he could be considered Diamondhead’s right hand if it weren’t for Frankenstrike. He also utterly despises being mistaken for his moronic speedster sibling and saying or even hinting that the two are alike will get you on his bad side. He has a rather dry sense of humor that often comes out when he’s partnered up with one of his less mission-focused family members.

Jury Rigg: For the love of all that is holy, keep him away from machines! He is an absolute menace around them, either because he doesn’t know how they work, yet still fells the need to mess with them or precisely because he knows how they work and just wants to try and “fix them up” to reach their “full potential” as he calls it. Said potential is often explosive, of course. He and Grey Matter are basically at war because he won’t stop touching Grey’s stuff without permission or stop trying to get into his workshop. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s just so naturally hard-wired to be a maniac around technology that he can’t help it. If you manage to pry him away from that, he’s actually pretty low-key, sensible, even. Currently, he acts as the familys’ armorer. It’s his passion. Anything he built is sure to give the bad guys (and sometimes the good guys) a run for their money.

Shocksquatch: Looks scary, but he’s a really big softie. That doesn’t mean he won’t pummel bad guys into the ground, though. Ironically he gets along the best with Wrath of all people. Mostly because they’re both huge wrestling fans and enjoy fighting as a sport. The both of them often spar with Four Arms and Cannonbolt. The record is currently tied, but they’re working on that.

Terraspin: Good-natured and slow movement-wise. He’s friendly to the point of being a doormat, which often leads to some of his siblings, like Upchuck, taking advantage of him. Unsurprisingly, he gets along the best with Upgrade, Wildmutt and Goop. Goop sort of looks out for him and keeps the whole “Do my chores” thing that Upchuck has going with him in check. A very harmless and completely hypothetical joke about tongue-burning acid is all it takes to put a stop to it most of the time. Terraspin is grateful for it.

Water Hazard: The rugged, charming rogue of the group. He does his own thing and doesn’t exactly play by the rules. He can be reasonable, but where’s the fun in that? He and Heatblast do not get along, possibly even less than Swampfire and Heatblast. It may be due to them being opposite elements, it may be because Heatblast secretly fears Water Hazard may take his place as the ‘Cool Big Brother’ or it may just be the fact that Water Hazard won’t stop dousing him in water for no good reason. Who knows?

NRG: Loud, dramatic and really big on physical affection. He’s an enthusiastic hugger, which, combined with the fact that he wears his containment suit at all times, often results in tremendous pain for the hugged. You could say it’s compensation for the fact that he can so rarely actually touch things/people because, y’know...they’d literally die. He enjoys every moment out of his suit, flying around giddily and shouting even more than usual.

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incorrectly-quoted-queers · 4 years

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Drunk Punch Love: Chapter 9

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

Chapter 9: 4 AM Stroll

Maybe she was up a little too late. Or too early, depending on whose standards. But Shepard needed a hot drink and she needed to remember that the emptiness in these halls, and the calm across the Galaxy, was very temporary.

She and Garrus had been having a movie marathon in her room, as many James Bond films as they could stomach. There were over 50 movies (the franchise's popularity never quite waned when Bond could just evolve with the times; there was even a turian MI6 agent when the military was trying to improve relations with them). Her dad had only collected so many copies of the movies, though. She was definitely missing a ton of the older ones. But they'd made it about halfway, to one called Spectre (fitting title), when she realized Garrus fell asleep on her couch.

But with Garrus out for the count, Anya stopped the film and decided to get her sleepless ass a drink. Earl Grey tea, a favorite. She sipped it in the mess hall, alone, trying to organize her thoughts, but she was just tired. Sleeping had been harder the past few days. It was hard to ignore the fact that in only a little over a week, and he'd be gone.

She'd lived 29 years with no stubborn turian snipers by her side. So why did it feel so bizarre to think of life without him?

Anyway, it wasn't like she'd never see him. Hell, if he did end up a Spectre, they could run into each other out on missions. It'd be likely, even. They could probably catch up then.

Damn, did that sound more depressing than she meant it to be.

Just as she was about to punch herself in her own tragic sentimentality, she watched Kaidan stumble out of the science office and through the med bay. Her eyebrows were raised the entire time she looked at him. The guy looked pretty flustered, his hair even messier than that awkward Ilos conversation.

Anya couldn't help herself. As he walked out of med bay, she said, "On a 4 am stroll, Alenko?" The second his eyes met hers, they were filled with this existential dread that was partially amusing and another part offensive. Was she really that scary now? Sighing, she dropped the jeering Commander schtick. "I'll stop the taunting there. Could we sit down and talk like adults? Because I think we've both done things we regret the past few weeks."

Kaidan didn't look too thrilled, but he sat down. "Okay, Commander."

"I mean, if you want to leave, it wasn't an order. Granted, I do have Asari-related blackmail on you now if you don't, so I guess make your choice accordingly."

Sitting across from her, he still didn't look too comfortable. But he did have the faintest wisp of a smile on his face. "I'll stay."

"Good." Anya sipped her tea and drummed her fingers on the mug. "Kaidan, I'm sorry I was so tough on you before Ilos. I was stressed and grieving. You have the right to have feelings. I'm just sorry they were for me."

"It's okay, Shepard. I think after Ash, I jumped myself through a lot of mental hoops to feel like I had something real with you."

"You still have something real. I still care about every single member on this team like they're my family. And that includes you."

Kaidan shook his head, chuckled low. It was like stabbing pin needles against her arteries, just begging for her heart to burst. She never wanted to do this to him. "No offense, Commander, but that's easy for you to say when you're the one trying to let someone down easy."

"I've been on the other side. I know it hurts."

"You? Really?"

Shepard laughed, but dread pooled in her stomach. She was going to have to get into that story to make him feel better, wasn't she? "When I was at the Academy, there was another student, Rike. He was from Australia. I hadn't met many people actually born on Earth who grew up there, too. And yeah, give me shit later about how you're like that. But he was breezy and open, where I grew up with my boots laced and my emotions in a locked cage. I was crazy about him. But when I told him how I felt, he wasn't interested." Anya snorted, even though it still kinda stung. "He actually admitted he had an Asari girlfriend and then followed up the rejection by asking me how to propose. Apparently he wasn't the most tactful guy."

"Are you saying at least you didn't ask me for romantic tips?"

"No. I'm saying romance is a mess and everyone gets rejected." Anya ran a hand through her hair and leaned back in her chair. She didn't know why it felt so important to fix things with him, but maybe it had to do with the fact he was the only one left in her new "family" that might actually stay. "It's your call for what you want moving forward. But I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not embarrassed or mad with you. I just want to be your friend. And you don't have to be, and you can take all the time away from the Normandy that you need. This doesn't have to go one specific, uncomfortable, embarrassing way. But if you want it, you can still be the best damn Alliance soldier on the Normandy."

Kaidan's smile grew then, looking down into his palms. "When we hit the Citadel, I do think I'll take some time. But you're right, we're a good team. I'll stay, as long as you never bring up the fact I tried to kiss you ever again."

"Deal." Anya tried to ignore it, she really did, but the fact his shirt was on inside out was really starting to kill her. "So, you and Liara...?"

"Also don't mention that."

"Fair." Looking down into her own glass, she couldn't help but add, "But I'm happy whenever my officers are happy." Kaidan didn't seem to have an answer to that, but speaking of officer's happiness... "I should tell you that you that avoiding me has been putting our pilot on the fritz. Just start doing target practice with us again, okay? Joker's not used to so much attention. It gives him hives."

"I figured that he never really got himself all the way down to the storage bay."

"Absolutely not, it has some steep stairs and the door jams. Dude would break something just trying to get in."

Kaidan chuckled and said, "Yeah, fine. I'll be there tomorrow to get the old assault rifle tuned." Then he looked at her, and it was nice to see him look at her without shame or lust. Didn't mean his raised eyebrow didn't perplex her. "What are you doing up in the first place, though?"

"Trouble sleeping."

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that you want me to stay? And don't worry, I know you meant it in a platonic way."

Anya was used to throwing double meanings, doing her officers' questions about her motives, but it was like Kaidan saw right through her and she didn't know what to say. It didn't make her love him, but it did make her respect him more. Maybe he did have his head further out of his ass than she expected. Rubbing her neck, she admitted, "Everyone's leaving. And more than I'd like to admit, as much as I've inspired everyone, I didn't want any of them to leave. But now it's just you and me and despite all our bullshit I don't want to lose you, too."

"That was refreshingly honest."

Laughing, Anya didn't realize how much she'd missed talking to him like a friend. Before he got those obvious puppy dog eyes, he was one of her favorite people on the ship. Like a good old fashioned soldier but somehow, still different. "I hope this doesn't sting too much, but I'm really happy you're my friend, Kaidan."

"I'm happy to be yours, too, Commander. But now I'm going to bed." He stood up from his chair and, even though his smile was still a little awkward and things between them still had a long way to go, it was something.

Shepard waved in his direction as he walked off, waiting until he was out of sight to down her own tea. Then the embarrassing, asshole teenage smirking came. She needed to talk to someone, and she only really had one option. But he probably was the only person she'd want to tell anyway.

Walking a little too brisk back to her room, she opened it to see Garrus curled up like a damn kitten on her couch. But she couldn't keep her mouth shut, so the man was going to wake up whether he liked it or not.

Tossing a polar bear plush from Joker at his face, he stiff armed the thing and nearly fell off the couch. "Wha-"

Anya interrupted him as fast as she could. "Kaidan and Liara hooked up."

He sat up and scratched his head. "May I repeat: what?"

Looking at Garrus, Anya didn't really care if he was all that awake. "I just caught Kaidan doing the walk of shame out of Liara's room."

"Huh. So when you turned down both of them, they turned to each other?"

"I have been waiting all mission to report somebody was hooking up with somebody and it finally happened. And even better, it wasn't me!"

Garrus snorted, still rubbing away some sleepiness from his eyes. "You're being an absolute child. Why are you so excited?"

"Because I just won the dating pool."

The slow realization that fell over his face was priceless. He smiled at her with bewilderment, but still threw the polar bear back at her head. "Shepard, you hated that pool."

"And I voted Kaidan and Liara as a joke, but guess who was right after all? The second they go public, I get to laugh at everyone else who was trying to say I'd get with them. And like 1,000 credits." She sniggered, probably a little too much, but the entire thing was absolutely priceless. "Oh, but don't tell Kaidan I told you. I said I wouldn't talk about it."

"Some days I think the galaxy needs to save you, not the other way around."

"And some days you're probably right." Anya flopped down onto the couch and leaned into his shoulder. She wanted to say: I never want this week to be over. But she couldn't say that, not when she knew that if he thought she needed him, he would stay. He was too good a guy for that. So instead, Anya said, "Now where were we?"

Garrus growled at her, "Sleeping."

"We can sleep when we're dead."

"Fine, but you better keep it interesting." Before she could answer, he leaned into the side of the couch, adjusting to her weight on his side, and shoved the pillow he once was sleeping on into her face. "Who am I kidding? I'll be lucky if you ever let me die in the first place."

"You're stuck with me forever, Vakarian... Or at least until next week."

Things between them got silent for a little while, but then he put his arm around her shoulder. She was starting to love when he did that, because it always was when he was about to say something that made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. And battle-ready commanders didn't get to feel fuzzy too often. It made everything that was eating out her about the next week feel a lot less overwhelming. "Don't worry. No matter where I go, I'll be stuck with you. Forever."

///

I hope you guys enjoy my awkward Anya and Garrus just as much as I do <3 So many more chapters to come! On AO3, this story is at 20+ chapters, so we’re catching up slowly but surely.

Thanks so much for reading, and double thanks to my lovely patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

If you'd like to support the story, please go check out my bio for more info :) All proceeds will be going towards a gaming desktop so my lovely sass can game on Twitch with fans (also read/write new fanfics or original stories!)

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#Drunk Punch Love #Shakarian #femshep x garrus #Garrus Vakarian #Anya Shepard #Kaidan x Liara #Kaidan Alenko #Normandy fluff #Mass Effect fanfiction #bioware romances #fanfiction #drama

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transboygenius · 5 years

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SE4SON: Chapter 10

Deep in the vicinity of space, in a planet far beyond astronomical reach, there dwells a man. A man who possesses the super strength of 10 Stomp Grompers, a sir that can leap higher than the average Boarbaw, a guy that is truly ultra in every way. The habitation in which he lives in is being undertaken by the wretched vilenesses that feed off of the planet's resources and tranquility. The only way to take back home is to fight for it! With these powers and highly advanced weaponry he is blessed with, he soars to still greater heights as he conquers the forces of evil, and protecting the helpless in need! No job is too tough to make our hero quit! He brings the chills, the spills, and the thrills! He is...

"...the one and only, and nobody else could never, Ultra-Lord! Da, da da da da, daaaa da, da da da-" "Sheen, what are you doin'?" "Oh, just reciting the narration to the Ultralord season 1 opening intro, Libster! I just couldn't help but get excited looking at that atmosphere out there. Doesn't it just pull you in?" "Yeah. Now that you've mentioned it, I guess it is kinda pretty. But we're not here to admire the galaxy, we're here for-" "It reminds me of the time I traveled to and landed on the planet Zeenu. I made a lot of friends there, and with a talking monkey too. Did I mentioned the citizens there also worshiped me?" "You never even traveled to a planet named Zeenu. Don't you remember? You hopped aboard on that rocket Jimmy tried to keep you out of, failed to pilot it, crashed landed, then fell into a coma for three months. Besides, the day you become royal advisor is the day dinosaurs are revived from extinction." "Huh. It seemed so real, though. Well, that explains it! I would never think about leaving you for some blue skinned gladiator girl who knows how to yodel better than anyone else I know! (Well... That depends...)"

Judy, Sheen, and Libby were cruising through outer space in an old worn out McSpanky's restaurant, courtesy to the three alien brothers; Zix, Travoltron, and Tee. Sheen brought his Ultralord mask for the occasion, and some of his figurines so that he could educate his new lizardy friends on the franchise. Libby immediately notified the concept to Mrs. Neutron after it hit her at The Ramen Bowl. Since none of them have any experience piloting Jimmy's rocket, Libby had Sheen contact his good ol' buddy, Tee. Hugh would've joined them, but Judy gave him a job, on Earth, planting those Missing posters all over Retroville. Carl refused to accompany them since he was busy with another magic show. Although, when he turned down their offer, he sounded like he had a little grief in his voice.

"It was nice of you gentlemen to give us a lift in your.... ...ship to help us find my son." Said Judy. "No problem, human mistress! Anything to fulfill a friend's request! Even though I take a dimview on the lad and would be much delighted to dismantle him instead, judging by our history." Replied Zix. "Pardon?" "I said, by using a sample of the hair strand you provided us with, we could be able to navigate his impulse connected to his DNA. See that beeping light on the panel, ma'am? The closer we reach him, the faster the light blinks, and then the frequency will increase in volume! That way, in case you're asleep or tuned out by headphones, you will be alarm!" "Oh, thank you, thank you! With your help, what do we have to loose?"

Judy was so eager in rescuing her son, she don't dare peeling her eyes away from that beeping light, despite the fact that Zix mentioned the sound would alarm her. Meanwhile, after getting Sheen off her back, Libby walked around the ship for a bit. McSpanky's may be in terrible shape, from both inside and out, but it still looked the same like how she remembered it. The Ramen Bowl is good and cheap, but she longed for some fast veggie burgers and fries. Thanks a lot, Neutron. While Libby continued to walk around the burnt out eatery, she met with something that made her wanna end her exploration. It was a human being, frozen in solid carbonite. They looked oddly familiar to her, and pretty much the nametag soon gave it away. Hello, My Name Is Skeet. Meanwhile, Sheen was bonding with Travoltron over his Ultralord action figures.

"I'm confused, human buddy. Is Alltralewd suppose to be a television show, or a profitable toyline?" "'Ultralord,' not 'Alltralewd.' Second, it originally began as a toyline from around the late 70s'! Commercial sales weren't doing too good, so a comic book was published in 1982 to help promote their toys, which is still running to this day! Unfortunately, kids were too lazy to read, so then they decided to air a TV show by the time the 90s' hit! I don't know why other so-called fans are sleeping on the comic series. There's a lot of juicy stuff in there that my father would never let me see! I'm talkin' TV-14, by the way." "Okay, got it. And this tiny character is suppose to be his son?" "That's Ultralord's faithful sidekick, ToyBoy! He's like a son to him, but Ultralord doesn't have any kids! At least not until the release of the 'Ultralord And Vespagirl: I Do' comic. Now, ToyBoy was this little orphan kid named Bradley Hasbro with a obsessive compulsion with computers, and because of that, nobody came for his adoption. Ultralord, however, saw the boy had potential in him, so he not only raised him but trained him into a skilled mecha warrior! Pretty soon, he learned there is more to life that's far important than the internet and digital gaming! Sadly, he got killed off in the twelfth episode of the fifth season, just for the sake... *Sniff, sob* the company wanted to make room for new toys." "I'm sorry to hear that, human buddy. You have my sympathy. May he rest in peace." "And Godspeed to his legacy or whoever still remembers him!"

The two then hugged it out. Tee began to notice, and mistook it as comfort for the loss of Jimmy. Tee walked over to Sheen.

"Awwwww, no need to get all emotional, little man! I'm sure he's out there somewhere!" "Yes; In a better place." "Now don't say that, Sheen! If you like, I'd be happy to take his place for you!" "Nobody could replace him. He was one in a million." "I think somebody needs a hug." "Wha--No, NOOO!"

Tee opened his arms wide, preparing to envelope his sad friend into a big hug. Getting a hug from Tee is like getting squeezed by a grizzly bear until your eyeballs pop out. Sheen declined his offer, but that didn't stop Tee in attempting to make his friend feel good. Sheen began to back away without looking where he was going. Because of being so careless, he crawled up on the control panel, and accidentally sat on a button. When Zix noticed, he threw Sheen off the panel.

"FOOL, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE?!" "Not really."

The button had activated the ship's sublight thrusters, and then, with everyone inside, McSpanky's blasted into hyperspace.

..............................

[*Hours earlier; Medieval times*]

After a big, hearty breakfast, it was time to get to work. Diana followed them behind. She was going to harvest some crops and then plant new ones. Just when Jimmy was about to touch the stuff in the wheelbarrow, Diana stopped him with a loud WAIT! She took the stuff back into the shed, organizing everything back to where it was neatly.

"I get fussy when things are disorganized." Said Diana. "Thanks, so can we have the stuff now?" Asked Jimmy. "The pleasure is yours." "And those wooden planks; Do you mind if we 'break' those? Our home depends on it." "Wellllllllll... Ah, why not? If it'll get you home, then do as you must. I could always just steal new ones! You're lucky this isn't King Jason's palace. If he finds one scratch or fingerprint on his merchandise, you'd get hanged. And by the way, are we still on that deal that you boys will visit us occasionally?" "Sure! We do owe you after all."

Diana dropped her gardening tools, then embraced both Jimmy and Nick into a big hug. Jimmy thought hugs from Tee were bad. Even while she was using little strength as possible, it still felt like she could break their bones in a matter of minutes. After releasing them, she went on with her gardening chore, while Jimmy and Nick took time to recover on the ground. After that, they got up and gathered whatever Jimmy insisted they needed. A few planks, a wagon wheel, a weather vane, twine, and some other stuff. Luckily, the shed was also equipped with some tools and a box of tacks. Though they don't require power to run, Jimmy can still makeshift with them. They used the wheelbarrow to carry the stuff to a clear area perfect enough to build their time machine. Nick suggested he should help.

"I've got this, Nick. Don't worry." "No, I insist! You look like you could use all the help you could get." "You don't have to, ya know. We're not handcuffed anymore." "But I want to. I really want to. We're friends, right? Friends help each other. Besides, there's nothing to do around here."

At that moment, Jimmy was speechless. Nobody has ever lend Jimmy a hand with constructing, and if he asks, they'll either say "no" or "nah." Whenever he pulls out a hammer or a power drill, his friends do nothing but sit and watch. Just because he can manage, doesn't mean it's easy. Some of the gear he uses are heavy and call for upper body strength. Doing it alone takes longer to finish. His friends probably feel it's too complex for their position, so he gives them easier jobs instead. That could be the reason why Jimmy is used to working on his own. He rarely relies on teamwork. The boy genius never asked for anyone's help, not even from Cindy. The explanation has nothing to do with pride. Perhaps a little. Not like they would've been interested, anyways.

He would've decline again, but Nick was actually the first to actually ask if he could assist Jimmy on an invention. Nick is doing so much for him, the boy genius has no clue why he deserves it. Nick apologized for his brass behavior. He opened up secrets to him. He shown concern for his future. He even cooked him a delicious breakfast. Now, he wishes he could volunteer because he wants to. All that, and never asked for anything in return. Nick is different from his other friends back home. VERY, very different. He is so ridiculously considerate, it set Jimmy's heart pounding, although he tried to pass it on as a sign of stress or confusion. Maybe Jimmy does need his help. Maybe Nick could make himself useful. After all, the time would be done faster if they worked together. Without speaking a word, he placed a mallet-like hammer in Nick's hand, then gave him a single nod, followed by a grin.

With Jimmy's directions, Nick was set in the right path. Thanks to Nick's strength, the job was more bearable to take. Jimmy arranged the measurements, and left the sawing to Nick. Both of them did the hammering. Nick carefully lined a tack at the bottom of a plank board. Watching his fingers, he pounded the tack in. ...and then the top of the plank hit him in the face.

Meanwhile, Diana was already at her gardening. She had just finished the harvesting, now is about time for the planting. Throwing aside the shovel, she punched holes in the dirt, leading the ground to shake slightly.

Back to the boys, Nick acted as Jimmy's human ladder so that he'd help his short friend work to heights far beyond his reach. On with the hammering again. Jimmy gave Nick the honor of hammering two planks together. Just like the accident from before, the plank hit Jimmy in the face. To make up for that mistake, Nick purposely hammered a plank just to hit himself in the face. Both then had a good laugh out of that.

Diana finished planting the seeds, now on to pulling out the dead weeds. When she got to the sixth weed, it seemed to be stuck in the ground tight. Putting in her best strength, she tugged the weed with all her will. To her surprise, out came a whole willow tree. Turns out that weed had been a root all along.

Down to more hammering, the boys stood apart from each other, as Jimmy was prepared to pound in another tack. This time they made sure to stay out of the way so neither of them get hit in the face again. Unfortunately, he set the plank board flying and it hit Benson in the face, who was just about to serve them refreshments.

Within 3 hours, they were finished at that time. The new time machine was just a simple three wall box with a wagon wheel and vane on top, but it was more than that through Jimmy's eyes. It's the thought that counts. ...and getting home. Nick was happy him and Jimmy got to do something together.

"Can this thing really take us back home?" Asked Nick. "Not precisely. All we need now is some hypothetical earthbound, such as quartz of any type, and a strike of lightning to charge electricity into the machine, consequently granting it enough power to transport us back home. Which is why I took the liberty of making this! Just one bolt will do the trick!" Said Jimmy, holding up a handmade kite. "That's cool, Jim! But how will we know when a thunderstorm will come up?" "Usually cumulonimbus clouds early in the day and developing throughout the day can mean greater chances of severe weather. I suggest looking after the sky for any cumulus activity. In other words, watch out for dense-looking gray clouds."

Jimmy decided to head back into the barn where he can keep his kite safe, while Nick followed. Suddenly, Benson stopped them.

"Don't you dare take one more step!" Scold Benson. "You're still angry about the plank incident, aren't you?" Asked Nick. "No! But my nose detects a wretched odor around here! At which hour wast the last time thee two bathed?" "Oh, about four days." Replied Jimmy. "For me, five." replied Nick. "Four days? Five days?! MY WORD!!!"

Benson ran into the house at super speed, then came back outside with a few things. An empty bucket with a bar of soap, and two towels. He also held two robes and two pairs of slippers.

"Foulness is not tolerated around here! If't be true you wish to stay as our guest, thee must compel in personal hygienes! It's important for your health!"

Nick called for Diana to see if it's actually necessary.

"Yo Di! Do we even have to?!" Shouted Nick. "To me, it's completely optional. But then again, he'll just continue to pester you unless you follow his demand." "Hmph. Well, looks like we have no other choice if this bearded housewife is gonna slow us down. My hair is getting oily anyways." "You know, you could never get away with walking freely around the village with your stench carrying over, otherwise King Jason's guards will have you hanged." "We never asked, but thank you for sharing that info with us, Diana." Said Jimmy.

Both of them took a robe and a pair of slippers. Benson was kind enough to point them to the water well. He also advised that they should take turns using the bucket and soap. Jimmy and Nick had to remove their clothes so that Benson could wash them. The boy genius headed inside the barn to change, while Nick went behind the shed. Getting inside the house would've been better, but he feels rather uncomfortable getting naked in the same place with that freaky Rodent Girl. After that, Benson took out a scrub brush and a bar of soap.

"Where are you, Oona?"

..............................

[*Fifty minutes later*]

Jimmy and Nick were sitting on separate stools. They were shivering cold from the water they rinsed off with. Jimmy's hair was wrapped in a towel. They sat around a tight wire, where their clothes were hanging to dry. The boys were wearing nothing but their robes and fuzzy slippers.

"Hey Nick, mind if I ask a simple question?" "Yeah, what is it?" "Yesterday, you mentioned about being in a relationship with someone whose always hurt you." "I'd rather not talk about it." "But Nick, you could spare me all the details if you like. You even have the right to have this person's name withheld. Please? We're friends. I swear, I will never peep a word about this to anyone. And when we get home, I could probably erase my memory for you! What are you afraid of?" "That you won't believe me?" "You've been entirely honest with me. What's there not to believe?"

Nick refuses to explain his life further on, but Jimmy gave him the option to explain very little if he wants to. Jimmy is curious, but he's not pressuring Nick to confess. Could he be returning concern for him? Heck, why not? He's already fallen victim to those big, blue, twinkling eyes. Those eyes were begging him to show 'n tell. Dammit, why does he have to be so cute? He just needs to keep it short and simple. He can't say it was his dad, because he already told him he never knew him.

"Okay; If it's flustering to you, I'm sorry for butting in. It is your personal life, after all." Said Jimmy. "It was a family member." Replied Nick. "What? Huh?" "A family member. A relative that lived with us for quite some time long ago, from my 'father's' side. I don't feel like giving out a name or gender. Let me tell ya, they were a grade A a-hole. They gave me these painful scars. Not physical scars, but mental. Ohhhhhhhh, how I hated them. This relative felt I was the epitome of imperfect. They ridiculed everything about me; the way I act, talk, and dress. If there's a problem I can't fix, I'm suppose to take care of it myself to prove I'm man enough. Every time they have a problem of their own, I was to be blamed for. My poor mom couldn't do anything about it, cuz she was just as weak minded as I was. After they left, I didn't feel relief. In fact, I actually believed what they said about me was true. That's why I adapted this cool, slick, biker gang wannabe image. To prove them wrong." "I'm sorry to hear that, Nick. Whatever they have said about you, I know they are wrong. You're a real good friend. Possibly the nicest guy I've ever known. I don't know what is there about you to make a creep out of." "Thanks. You've been a good friend yourself. So far, you've been my first, and real friend." "I don't have to be your 'only.' You could always join me and the gang, where the fun is really at!" "Are you saying we should be more open about our friendship?" "Of course! We are best friends now, aren't we?" "I don't know about it. I mean, like I've told you before, I'm still weak minded." "And like I'VE told you, you we're not what that scum made you out to be! Didn't you also tell me you hated your life just how it was before? You're the one who told me how this 'Mr. Popularity' position made you miserable! If you're afraid people won't accept the real you, well I accept! I accept you to infinity! Where's your self-respect?" "I-I I'm sorry, but it's just that I've climbed so high to reach up to that torch, I don't think I'm ready to back out now. I don't want to disappoint my fans." "*Sigh* Nick... There's something you oughta know."

Jimmy confronted Nick about the downfall he is completely oblivious to. He used to be the top dog, but after breaking his leg far too many times, nobody took him seriously anymore. The more Nick goofed on a stunt, the smaller his crowds became. He was still handsome, but girls were too embarrassed to have an open crush on some skateboard loser. The weaker, nerdier kids weren't afraid to make fun of him. The boys that have claimed themselves as Nick's supportive friends have been talking smack behind his back. They always laugh at him under his breaths. Whenever Nick falls into another injury, they always say they'll get help, only to be gone for about 5 hours, or until it gets dark. He refuses to acknowledge that. He wanted to believe he was still cool, and he kept trying. The problem is, the more he tried, the more he hurt himself. Quitting is always an option, but that would just bring his entire popularity to waste. He sacrificed his childhood to get on that pedestal. His father would be right about him; He is a failure. People like him were only born out of a mistake.

Nick sat with his head hanging down low. Jimmy didn't need to tell. He knew he was becoming a has-been, but he didn't wanna accept it. All he wanted was to be loved. Admired. Not get hurt. Be the opposite of what Dan saw him as. On the other side of the coin, Nick has never felt so happy in his life. He has lived the worst twelve years in his life. Before and after he became cool, he never had the casualty of experiencing a real childhood. Jimmy was right. He was miserable to how things were before. If he keeps trying to be someone he's not, he's just gonna continue being that way before he dies. Hanging out with Jimmy gave him the opportunity to reveal his true self. He was a caterpillar trapped in a cold cocoon, now he bursts free like a butterfly. The boy genius never mocked him or laughed at him. He has found the comfort zone he's been desiring for. Standing by his true love's side had been his dream, but does he really want to retire?

Before Jimmy was ready to say anything, Nick placed a hand on his lap.

"I'll think about it."

Nick smiled at Jimmy, then Jimmy smiled back. Unfortunately, the moment then died down when they saw that Mitzi had returned from work, giving the boys a twitchy eye from seeing them in their robes together, with Nick's hand on his friend's lap.

"Don't get the wrong idea! I'm not even ready for that!" Nick got up and snapped. "Nick Nick Nick Nick, Nick. Calm down." Said Jimmy. "(I see that twitchy eye! I SEE IT!)" "Pardon us, ma'am, but there's a logical explanation. We were requested, or commanded, to wash up, and we are currently waiting for our laundry to dry. Apologies for our appearances."

Mitzi looked like she wasn't buying it.

"You two can come up with a better excuse than that."

She turned around and headed back into the house. Both of Nick's fists were balling, and he was ready to strike. However, Jimmy was able to calm him down afterwards.

............................

[*Nighttime*]

Jimmy and Nick gotten back into their clothes after they were fully dried, then Nick prepared a special dinner that night. He fixed some Brazilian-styled fried chicken with a kale salad on the side, also Brazilian. He also baked a batch of fluffy, sweet bread rolls. Not Brazilian, by the way. Diana and Rodent Girl loved Nick's pancakes so much, they begged him to make a gourmet dinner for them. Lucky for them, Nick loves to cook. Everyone was pleased with their meal, except Mitzi. She was the last one to try the food, as if she thinks it's poisoned. Not to mention, she didn't compliment his cooking like everyone else. Nick would've let her starve if she weren't friends with a 6'3 bodybuilder.

After dinner, the dishes were left with Benson, and the two boys went back to their barn suite for a goodnight's sleep. They used the leftover planks to seal off the windows, and they let Butterscotch sit in front of the door, just to keep a certain rat lady out. Nick grabbed a blanket and hopped onto his hay bed. When Jimmy was about to get his blanket ready for slumber, he found that a cow was chewing it. He tried to retrieve the blanket by pulling, only to tear it to sheds in the process. Poor Jimmy will have to sleep cold tonight.

"Here; Have mine."

Nick offered Jimmy his only blanket. Jimmy just refused. He couldn't take Nick's offer cuz he's already done so much for him.

"I couldn't, Nick. You deserve it." "C'mon, little man. I would never let a friend sleep in the cold." "Yeah, but I'd be more happier if you took it. You've done a lot for me, and it's the least I can do in return." "Wait! Why not we improvise?"

And with that, Nick undid the zipper and buttons on his black leather jacket, and then put it over Jimmy's shoulders. The boy genius was so tiny, the jacket was able to cover him like a blanket, and it was fairly warm too. Thanking Nick, then giving him a hug as a goodnight, Jimmy crawled up on the hay and drifted off. Nick took one quick glance on Jimmy before laying down. He's so precious to him, he'd be damned if he just let him sleep out in the cold. Even though Jimmy said so himself that he doesn't have to keep doing all this nice stuff for him, Nick can't help himself. He loves Jimmy too much.

#Jimmy Neutron #Boy Genius #Nick Dean #Cindy Vortex #Libby Folfax #Carl Wheezer #Sheen Estevez #Season 4 #fanfic #romance #adventure #TVverse #TVEE

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maryellencarter · 6 years

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Yay laptop! *type type type*

So I reblogged this meme a bit ago as a reminder to answer all the questions for Wes when I had time. Technically I’m procrastinating on a writing thing, but I’m stuck on that one, so. ^_^

1) Something this character is truly proud of. -- You know, this one is kind of tricky, because as much as Wes acts like a blowhard, he doesn’t actually brag on his achievements very much. His looks, sure. Other people’s achievements, absolutely. But he projects that “not a badass” image about himself. I think he’s definitely proud of the morale officer stuff, though, especially when he manages to get Wedge or Tycho or Hobbie out of a funk.

2) Who they want to please the most. -- Oh, Wedge, forever. That causes some tension in his friendship with Hobbie every so often, because Wes will always put Wedge first. It’s awkward when your wingman knows he’s your second priority. *hugs them* That’s like, the motivating factor of at least two different unwritten/unpublished stories I’m involved with right now, probably more.

3) Who depends on them. -- More people than think they do. The Rogues, the Wraiths, probably most of the Rebellion back in the day. Wes downplays just how much of the emotional grunt work he does on keeping the rest of these idiots functional, as well as how much of the paperwork load he carries. Wedge and Hobbie both know they depend on him, that’s the people who really matter.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live. -- This is an interesting one, because Wes already lives on the basic principle of “eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die”. If he knew for a fact that he *wasn’t* going to die for a whole month... well, it depends. If he was invulnerable for that month, like absolutely unable to die ahead of time, he’d definitely go full Hamster Princess and like jump off cliffs and things. If it was just “you have a terminal illness”, I don’t think anything much would change, but he would get even more affectionate with his friends and also try to set things up so that they wouldn’t be absolutely lost without him, because he does do so much support work for them. If it was some kind of “I’m a time traveler from the future, you die in thirty days, this is absolutely necessary to preserve the timeline / save your friends from some horrible catastrophe, but we know you didn’t die till then”, and somehow telling him that doesn’t Schrodinger the timeline already (which it would)... um. This sentence got more complicated than I anticipated.

If he knew he was like fated to die in thirty days but not until then, but was not protected by a Hamster Princess curse spell thing, I’m not sure. What there should be is major fiddling with causality to find a timeline where he can save them without dying, but that requires roping people like Wedge and Luke into the process, and he wouldn’t. :-( Stupid idiot doesn’t think he’s worth saving. So he’d keep quiet, try to set things up to help his friends without letting them know that anything was wrong. They’d start to realize something was fishy, because they know him too damn well, and depending how angsty you wanted to get, it could wind up in a stable time loop self-fulfilling prophecy thing where he only has to die to save them because they figured out something was fishy or got in trouble trying to help him or something. The trouble with that time loop is that there’s no kriffing reason for the time-traveler to come back and tell him he’s going to die or has to die, if he did die, if things are working. *headshake* Time travel is hard.

5) A cherished personal belonging. -- Lieutenant Kettch, obviously. Yub yub, Commander.

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back -- Hmm. There’s not really much of anything for this in canon, which means I have to make something up. *ponders* Nothing occurs to me at the moment. That’s a story that somebody could write but it’d have to be the right thing (or the right person/friendship/whatever) and I don’t have one here.

7) This character’s favorite character -- Favorite character in what? GFFA media? Earthside media? Favorite person in their own source canon? I think Wes would really appreciate Jack O’Neill, although I’m not sure how Stargate SG-1 would come across in a galaxy where most planets have high levels of civilization, since it’s portraying a galaxy where most planets are pretty backward and only a few kind of patronizing alien races have anything like GFFA levels of technology. Like it’s a very different worldview. It plays specifically to Earth culture in ways that might make it very strange to a non-Earther.

8) What kind of car they would drive. -- Some kind of classic muscle car or hot-rod, probably. Tycho likes speed, Wes is all about power. “I mean a real tractor beam.”

9) What calms them when they are upset. -- Wes really, really needs to have the rest of the Fab Four around him, which is why Distna is such a renewable resource. ^_^ When he’s alone and trying to handle his own emotional shit, he likes to play brainless datapad games (that’s canon, he was playing one to keep from stressing out while he and Hobbie waited at Iella’s for Wedge and Tycho during Starfighters of Adumar) and snuggle Kettch. I also write him being fairly stimmy overall, liking certain textures and repetitive sounds and fidget toys, but that’s just me, it doesn’t have much actual basis in canon, only his general liking for swishy capes and blastswords and shit like that.

10) How they deal with pain. -- Emotional pain, he sits on it and ignores it forever. ;P Physically, he’s pretty tough, but he doesn’t do the kind of teeth-gritting silent-suffering thing I associate with like grungy alpha male types. He’ll hide that he’s injured if he needs to, if letting the others know would distract from an important or time-sensitive mission, but... like, I’m thinking of a bit in the comics, and comics characterization is always subject to being taken with more than a grain of salt, but the bit where Tycho is setting Wes’s broken leg, and Wes is making Noises and Tycho is being like “c’mon Wes you’re tougher than that”. Like Wes is fundamentally not a quiet guy, and he doesn’t have the macho wiring that makes not showing pain a matter of pride. He’ll scream if he wants to. (This holds true whether he’s injured, having sex, having fun, or just making noise for the hell of it. ^_^ At least one of my planned Kinktober pieces revolves partly around the fact that I always write Wes as being really vocal/noisy in bed.)

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing. -- The Adumar flatscreen cape, for sure. Wedge may have managed to airlock it on the way home, since it doesn’t show up in other pieces of Legends media, but he likes that cape a lot. It’s so flashy and tacky and amazing. :D

12) How they sleep. -- This one I’ve put a lot of thought into for cuddlefic purposes. His favorite way to sleep is at the bottom of a squadron cuddle pile, being squished under people he loves, like a living weighted blanket. (Which also ties into me writing him sort of autistic/ADHD-coded, but whatevs.) He tends to sprawl all over the place, unless he’s in a bad enough emotional place that he starts going fetal position. Wes is not a person who’s ever internalized any kind of “don’t take up space” message. (Damn, always-a-girl Wes would be an interesting fucking character to write. I’m calling Not It, because that would interact with my brain issues in ways I don’t want right now, but man.)

13) What kind of parent they would be. -- I’m not going to answer this one directly, because parenthood and parenting hits a lot of my buttons in very bad ways. But turning it around to “how are they with kids”, Uncle Wes is definitely Syal and Myri’s favorite when they’re little. They can climb on him like a jungle gym, he tells the best stories, he treats them with this conspiratorial respect that makes them feel like they can conquer the world, he is the best weird uncle altogether. The very saddest thing about the Nonspecific Excuse ‘verse is that Syal and Myri missed out on that. (I have Opinions, possibly. ^_^ Seriously, though. Wedge is a good dad, and Iella is wonderful, but I strongly doubt that Myri especially would have turned out like she did without Wes’s influence.)

14) How they did in school -- This is like twenty percent canon and eighty percent headcanon. We know that Wes is good at math / statistics-type stuff and XO paperwork. He’s a lot smarter than he acts most of the time. In my own head, I actually give him the kind of memory I’ve got, photographic or eidetic or whatever we’re calling it now, except it works on numbers and people’s faces as well as just words -- so, for example, Adumar-era Wes can remember every one of the nurses in the Yavin IV medbay by name, knows which one of them was pregnant but not showing yet (and how the kid is doing now, and probably sends it birthday presents), knows most of their birthdays, doesn’t have a comprehensive knowledge of which ones have died since but knows some of them.

This doesn’t have a lot of support in canon, but it does have a little: Wes gives Wedge that little dossier on Ejector Darpen, and I strongly suspect he could have given the same level of brief background and analysis on any of the other surviving Yellow Aces. (Which is a royal fuckton of responsibility to have, and possibly one reason he’s a little cautious about spreading gossip around, beyond funny stories everyone remembers. Do you know what kind of trouble you can cause if you remember every unflattering thing anyone has ever said about anyone else in your presence? It’s a lot. A lot a lot a lot. I was not a fun friend to have as a teenager.)

So, um, specifically about how he did in school, there are two ways I could go: straight-A student or deliberate slacker. I mean, either way he’s the perpetually goofing-around class clown, I’m just not sure whether he’s also the teacher’s pet / kid who always knows the answers. I think I’d lean toward saying he was, though, because of the little “shill in the audience” bit he does with Wedge that one time -- that has very much the flavor to me of a kid who always made it a goal during the first week of class to get the teacher to go “Not you, I know you know it” and call on someone else, cause that’s me. ^_^

15) What cologne or perfume they would use -- I don’t honestly have enough of a sense of smell to answer this question. Personally I like sandalwood, but that’s Isard’s perfume (well, “leatherwood”), so even though Wes might independently wind up using it, I feel weird going with it. It’s like the Only One Steve rule. ;-) But Wes has a pretty vivid sense of smell -- I noticed when I was going over the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank for something else, the descriptions of both the Ewok food and the cleaning fluid are strongly scent-oriented -- so either he’d wear something strong-smelling that he enjoyed, or something very subtle so it wouldn’t bother him, or just not wear scented stuff if it does bother him.

(God, the sheer levels of detail I get out of these books. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading way too much into these tiny little details, but it’s fun. And way more harmless than overanalyzing the Bible and Catholic religious doctrine in order to figure out The One Right Way To Act, which is what I used to do with these skills. ;S)

16) Their sexuality -- Oh, pan as hell. I personally write him as pansexual, aromantic, usually polyamorous, and pretty solidly cisgender, but that’s me. I’ve seen him written lots of different ways, but he very much appreciates pretty people of all genders, whatever exact orientation one goes with. (I don’t think I’ve ever seen him written gendervariant, but that would definitely be a possibility. Maybe I’ll come up with a story for that at some point, maybe not. And @virusq had a great suggestion for a bi/panromantic asexual Wes who flirts with everybody and is really into cuddling and pillow-talk but not sex, I don’t think anyone’s written that one yet either. *shoves it into the big pile of prompts in the middle of the table that is this fandom*)

( @tigerkat24 part of me keeps wanting to write an ace!Wes ‘verse where he’s basically James, but part of me wants to actually write those stories with James and Mort instead of Wes and Hobbie, and jesus fuck why do I have to have multiple pairings with the same dynamic. Why. :P I still don’t have an actual arc for Mort since I stopped wanting to write his original arc, either.)

(I keep going back and forth on whether to put my Mort/James stories from Rainbowfic onto AO3. Like they’re “original fiction written in a fannish context” for sure, but they’re also kind of scattershot and rather ancient, and... blergh. idk. Writing is hard.)

17) What they’d sing at karaoke -- This is again difficult because GFFA media. Earthside AU Wes, though, I’m definitely thinking the kind of bouncy catchy... do they call it “bubblegum pop”? Songs like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, “All the Single Ladies”, those very girly-coded danceable songs, just belting them out without a hint of irony, dancing and shaking his butt and having a grand old time. (You know Wes has at least acceptable dance moves. ^_^) One of the things I really especially enjoy about Wes is that he doesn’t have the toxic masculinity shit that a lot of flirtatious male characters are coded with. He would definitely be a drag queen in any context where that was an option, you know? It’s nice to have a character I read as cis male but who doesn’t have any gender panic about enjoying the girly shit. There aren’t enough of those.

18) Special talents they have -- Well. There’s the killing people. ;P I mean, that really is the main one. He doesn’t have much in the way of non-military life skills, and he knows it. He mostly doesn’t get super angsty about it, because he mostly doesn’t get super angsty about anything, but... y’know, even when it’s just a sentence or two, I really like those little bits where a writer comments on it, that he’s a soldier and he’s not really... prepared to be anything except a soldier. Peacetime would be so, so hard for him to adjust to, and I don’t quite have a solid story idea for that but I really want somebody to tackle it someday, whether it’s me or somebody else.

19) When they feel safest -- Underneath a cuddle pile of all his friends, definitely. If he knows they’re safe, then he’s safe. You know? They have each other’s backs. He’s not really functional as a single person, he’s part of a unit. It’s not super healthy, but god I miss it :P

20) Household chore they hate the most -- Hmm. See, this one requires figuring out what chores Rebel/NR pilots even do, other than KP duty. (I feel like having Wes constantly on KP is kind of cliched; the only person we actually see get KP in the books is Face. So I like to try and come up with other shit. But there’s not a lot of chores that pilots actually do. They have laundry droids and shit for most of it.)

Earthside modern AU, though... hmm. The thing is, I’ve got chores I love and hate, but those are formed by my specific childhood history, which is deeply complicated. Wes specifically... I’m not sure we have enough data. Does he enjoy cooking? Does he have sensory issues? Does he find laundry boring? (I always liked laundry because the laundry room was in the basement away from all the yelling. Wes probably prefers chores that can be done in the middle of a bunch of people, because they’re not yelling at him. ;P Any discussion of household chores really runs into my issues, I guess.)

He probably doesn’t enjoy mopping or scrubbing things down, because we know he dislikes the scent of space Lysol, it’s too strong and sharp. See, if I talk long enough I can always come up with something I can tie back to canon. ^_^

21) Their fondest childhood memory -- Hmm. That’s a difficult one. We really have no data on Wes’s childhood, other than that Taanab is an agri-world and therefore he’s probably by some definition a farmboy. The rest is all speculation. Personally, when I need him to have a family, I borrow the one @irenkaferalkitty invented, because they’re adorable and ridiculous and I love them. So, basic US-Midwest-ish farming setting, working-class family, six kids, Wes is the oldest. (His dad is an autistic ex-Jedi and his mom is amazeballs. She’s like if Wes had never gone into the military. I love her.) But I still don’t have much specific in the way of childhood memories.

22) How they spend their money. -- Well, with the NR providing clothes and housing and all those basic necessities, I figure Wes basically just buys kids’ toys and lets the rest of his money sit. (Hobbie, who comes from a banking world, is absolutely horrified by Wes’s complete lack of financial acumen and summarily invests most of his money for him. So by the time he retires the first time, after the peace treaty with the Empire in 19 ABY, he’s... maybe not necessarily rich, but definitely well-off. He can afford to travel a bit, buy a farm on Taanab, that sort of thing. I’m seeing a vintage Y-wing on blocks in the yard, because I’m from Indiana and everybody has a hot rod and/or a couple of hangar queens up on blocks. ... @shadesofmauve, you have Corrupted me, look at all this space slang in my writing. ^_^) I have one story just about finished and waiting for a potential Kinktober, where Wes and Hobbie’s farm has a custom-built swimming pool for Hobbie, with a hot tub for both of them and a waterslide for Wes. I mean, the waterslide doesn’t come into the story, but it’s there. XD

23) What kind of alcohol they drink -- I feel like I answered this before at some point. @camshaft22 and I have some pretty detailed headcanons about Wes and Hobbie and alcohol, because we needed them for Afterimage. So in canon, pretty much everyone drinks one of a few things: lum, lomin-ale, Elba beer, Whyren’s Reserve (which is usually a high-class Corellian brandy but depending on the author can morph into a whiskey, become lower-class, etc). We know Wes likes Whyren’s, because Wedge gives him a shot glass of it as a sort of apology after the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank. It’s described as having a “rich, smoky flavor”, so I figure in general he’d like whisky-type drinks with that kind of peaty or smoky flavor to them. (Coincidentally, whisky is basically the only booze I don’t find undrinkably disgusting. There’s supposedly a gene that makes vodka and some other drinks taste horrible; I’ve definitely got something going on on that front, because even the tiniest sip of vodka causes me to splutter and make horrible faces. It’s not the higher proof, that just tastes more like Listerine, it’s something else I can’t describe. Maybe it’s bitterness, Google’s bringing up articles about a supertasting bitterness gene.)

Um. That paragraph got away from me a little. Basically, Wes likes whisky and brandy best, but will happily drink pretty much anything.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves -- Now there’s a question. Wes seems mostly pretty happy with himself. There are things in his history he’d like to change, but as far as who he is, physically and mentally and emotionally, he’s pretty chill with himself.

25) What other people wish they could change about them -- Hah. Depends whom you ask. His close friends wouldn’t change a damn thing. Some other people wish he’d just stop being Wes altogether. It’s a rich tapestry. ^_^ There are a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle, like if he’d just be a little more serious or a little less obnoxious or at least go be himself somewhere else, but most of those are post-Endor. The remaining pre-Endor Rebels in the service, especially the ones who remember Hoth and Yavin, appreciate Wes exactly as he is, because when you’re stuck on a goddamn iceball for a year, a big huggy guy made of warms who always has a joke or a prank or a game idea or a magic trick to cheer you up and break the monotony is priceless.

(In universes where Wes disappears long-term and is presumed to have committed suicide at some point after Distna -- Nonspecific Excuse is one, there’s another one I might do something with someday when I’m stable -- I always kind of think about the general reaction among Rebellion survivors who maybe hadn’t seen him since Hoth. I imagine it’s like hearing Robin Williams killed himself, like there’s that shock of... *tries to word* You know. It feels wrong, that somebody they remember as this perpetually sunshiny presence in a long dark endless winter, somebody who brought so much joy and love of life to everyone around him, could get stuck in such a dark place. That he helped them and there was nobody to help him when he needed it. Like, I mean, depression is a terminal illness, we all know that, but -- like, if he’d died in combat, that’s one thing, but... *words* Like, if he died in combat, that’s sad, but he was still him. For that joy to go out first and cause his death, that hurts more, in a different way. Am I making any sense?)

#wes janson #about writing #meta #headcanon #rogue squadron #star wars #depression #suicide mention tw #that was a lot of writing #tumblr you better not eat this post #i am copypasting it just in case

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electricbluebutterflies · 6 years

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and we have suffered enough.

Or, three times Poe Dameron really wanted a quiet life. Damerey fluffs for my dearest @reysxrose, inspired by this gifset by @thoselittleboats, PG-ish, and also on AO3.

He runs his fingers through her hair and she purrs contentedly against the curve of his neck. They haven't gotten to sleep together in the innocent sense in weeks, and the briefest touch sends a rush through his body. Strange to think that a year ago, all of this seemed impossible. The current likelihood of their side winning, yes, but also this, the woman resting her body against his like it's where they both belong.

And maybe, Poe thinks, maybe that's exactly what it is.

A month ago, most of the things in his head right now would've been inappropriate. They probably still are, but less so every day. In another month or two, maybe they'll win, and after that…

"What are you thinking?" Rey murmurs at exactly the right moment. She swears she doesn't do the creepy mind-reading thing on him nor anyone else, but her natural intuition alone is good enough that she doesn't have to.

"You figure out what you're doing after this ends?"

Her dark eyes grow wide, and it's a couple moments before she processes the question. "N-no…"

He shifts position just the tiniest bit and kisses her, gentle as ever. It's been a journey, finding the right physical tone with her. Hopefully there'll be the rest of their long natural lives to perfect it, but for now he's settled on treating her fragile because no one else does. He knows perhaps better than anyone that she's not breakable, but nor is she as strong as her public perception, and-

"Really? You could do anything you want. Anything. You know that, right?"

"I don't know what I want yet," she counters. "Is that enough?"

"Yeah. Always."

He thinks she chose him for the lack of pressure. Apart from that one time with the badly planned escape route and him losing a hand and in hindsight probably the worst day of his life so okay fine he wasn't making the best choices… apart from that incident, when his damn life depended directly on whether she could use her powers well enough, he's never asked anything of her. Hasn't needed to. They mesh well enough together that the few times he's been tempted, she's seen the implications and done the thing before he found the words. But even that's different than the constant to-do list she seems to get from the rest of the world, and they both know it, and-

"Do you have plans?" she murmurs, again like she already knows.

"Vague ideas," he laughs. "Think I'm gonna go home. Lick my wounds for a while."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Sounds like the right thing to do. And maybe if I find somebody to settle down with… maybe do that, have a couple kids, become every bit as domestic as my parents were and love every moment of it."

Rey picks up on the implications quickly enough. He knew she would, but the light in her eyes as the words resonate is still one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen.

"I'm not sure about kids yet, but the rest of it…"

"You'll love it there. Everything's so green, you'll get sick of it. Same thing with rain. Cute as you were that one time…"

"I was terrified."

"There was no way of warning you, but it was kinda funny…"

She lets him have the point, shifting and kissing his cheek. "You sure you want to bring me back home? Isn't your dad expecting some nice girl, not…"

"Nah. This is like how they met. Little more dramatic, better story, but same idea. And you're about as nice as anybody, and-

"Thank you."

All of a sudden, Poe gets the best worst idea of his life. The ring on a chain around his neck suddenly feels like too much - he's worn it fifteen years, ever since he came of age, waiting for the right person, and it hits him that this girl here…

"I have an idea." His free hand reaches up and unhooks the chain, and he knows damned well this isn't a particularly romantic proposal but at least they're both fully clothed. "I don't know how you feel about commitment, but… I don't wanna lose you, Rey. Ever. And paperwork and ceremony would make us a lot harder to separate."

She takes the ring from his hand and puts it on her own, and somehow unsurprisingly it fits perfectly. "I want that too."

--------

There are a lot of unanswered questions right now, and Poe hopes most of them will clear up soon enough, but there is also a fragile girl on a bed and covered in bandages and that is a far bigger issue.

Rey isn't talking about what happened to her, but a few details are obvious. Most of her body is covered in cuts and burn marks, and she's lost a lot of blood. Not too much, but damned close, enough to worry all of them. Whatever happened - the details hang in the balance, undefined and maybe better left that way - at least she's alive. At least all her limbs are intact. At least she-

She snaps out of a nightmare suddenly, moving too much and then screaming even more from the pain. He's already by her side, curled up in a chair he does not intend to leave for the next week, and he reaches out and gently takes her hand and hopes she's lucid enough to realize he's no threat. "Rey. Sweetheart. You're safe."

"Everything hurts," she growls as her body stills. "Everything."

He knows they offered to just put her under until she heals up. He also knows she refused that, and he can't really blame her. With the amount of chaos going on in their world, everything could change in the space of a week and that kind of awakening would not be fun. Been there done that, he thinks. Not one of the better moments of his life.

"You're gonna be okay," he breathes. And she will be. Unless something goes dramatically wrong, all she'll be stuck with is a couple interesting scars. "I just…"

He feels emotional all of a sudden, much more than previously, like he's going to cry any second and not for any logical reason and-

"What's wrong?" And isn't that just like her, caring about someone else's pain even when she's drowning in her own.

"I don't wanna lose you. Not like this. Not tragic and…" His voice cuts off again, the weight of it all too much, and he takes a few deep breaths and tries to tough through. "We're going to have a life together, Rey. And we can't do that if you…"

"I'll try."

She kisses his hand, most contact they'll be able to manage until she's unhooked from all the equipment surrounding her, and he lets himself drown. Circumstances be damned, he hopes and he wants and he is not alone.

After a while, he feels the faintest tendrils of her mind reaching out to his. Gentle, always, an intrusion he could refuse if he wanted to. But instead he holds her hand a little tighter, granting permission for her to poke around and calm him down.

"I want that life too."

--------

Five years after their side wins, the dust has settled as much as it's going to and Poe is starting to accept the quiet. After wanting it for so long, he's still a bit overwhelmed. He gave almost twenty years, an even half of his life so far, to the cause. Now, without that…

"You're thinking too much," Rey mutters, rolling her eyes. "The creature doesn't like it."

He turns to look at his wife and wonders, as he has on an hourly basis since the day they officially met, why this radiant creature who could've had anyone she wanted chose him. They have that conversation every once in a while, and her answer always changes, but he suspects it's mostly because he sees her humanity. Sure, she did save the entire galaxy at least once (maybe twice, there are some weird technical details nobody bothers with) and he is completely impressed by all the stuff she can do, but those weren't relevant factors. At least, not as relevant as her being a very overwhelmed young woman who'd seen light and echoes of herself in him, and-

"You have got to stop calling our kid that," he counters.

"Not my fault it's apparently going to be as vocal as you are."

"We'll see once it's born, sweetheart. Might be more like you." He damn well hopes it will be. The world doesn't need a tinier version of himself, as fun as that would be to watch, and-

"No. Not like me. Better."

They stand in silence for a while, no need for words between them. This is real, and maybe by the time the kid is born Poe will process and be okay with that. Their child is going to grow up in a much different world than either of them did, and hopefully that world will stay there. Hopefully…

"You're still thinking too much, love."

"Can't help it. Still can't believe we got this."

"I think after seven years of listening to you ramble about how determined you were…"

"Never thought it'd be more than daydreams. But here we are."

"Yeah. Here we are."

He learns in and kisses her, and for a couple moments he forgets the weight of it all.

"Love you too."

#damerey #ebf writes fic #reysxrose #thoselittleboats

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trickormemes · 7 years

Text

The LEGO Movie sentence starters

122 starters feel free to change gender pronouns ‘read-more’ added for length

“He is coming. Cover your butt.”

“Now my evil power will be unlimited!”

“All of this is true… because it rhymes.”

“Hey, _____, what do you wanna do this morning? Watch TV? Me too!”

“Oh my gosh, I love this song!”

“Everything is awesome.”

“Everything is cool when you’re part of a team.”

“Everything is awesome when we’re living our dream.”

“Man, I feel so good right now!”

“I could sing this song for hours!”

“Hey, pal, I hate to tell you this, but, uh, I don’t think you’re supposed to be here.”

“Where are you going? Miss! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“I feel like maybe I should touch that.”

“It’s your turn to be the hero.”

“I don’t—where am I? What’s happening?”

“Get it off me! Get it off me!”

“Come on, you can’t be this stupid.”

“He’s not… that… special.”

“I know that guy, but I know, like, zippy-zap about him.”

“We all have something that makes us something.”

“I told you I was a nobody.”

“There’s obviously been a mix-up here.”

“Come with me if you wanna not die.”

“So, uh, didn’t catch your name… Or anything about what you’re, uh, up to or what we’re doing here.”

“You can drop the act with me. It’s cool.”

“Will you please tell me what is happening?”

“I wanna go home!”

“Do you have any idea what that does to your colon?”

“Uh, I’m not sure why exactly you’d bring that up.”

“I like you, but I’m angry with you for some reason.”

“Great. I think I got it… but just in case… Tell me again because I wasn’t listening.”

“Woo! I love everyone in this room!”

“_____, I don’t know that this is necessary.”

“Perfect. You can’t do anything better.”

“And, _____, you just moved and you wrecked it. You wrecked it!”

“Does that upset you, _____?”

“Are you with me or are you gonna be stuck having a tea party with your mom and dad?”

“All you have to do is blend in and act like you belong here.”

“I-I-I-I made a mistake. You should just be still. Act like a stool.”

“You have a very weirdly decorated place.”

“I don’t think he’s ever had an original thought… in his life.”

“That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“That idea is just the worst.”

“All you have to do is to believe.”

“Phew! I think we’re in the clear.”

“Wow. You actually did it.”

“Hey. Thanks for saving my life back there. Even if, you know, eventually it turned out to be pointless.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, this has been about the greatest fifteen minutes of my life.”

“Now… I just need to give the secret knock.”

“I’m just gonna come right out. I have no idea what’s going on or what this place is at all.”

“I hate this place.”

“Any idea is a good idea… except the not happy ones. Those get pushed down deep inside where you’ll never, ever, ever, EVER… find them.”

“You gotta write all that down ‘cause I’m never gonna remember any of it.”

“Oh, great, here we go again…”

“This is supposed to make us feel better?”

“You’re a butt!”

“Well, you were right about him being a ding-dong.”

“You’re a huge disappointment.”

“Well, at least it can’t get any worse…”

“You are the worst leader I’ve ever seen.”

“I super hate you.”

“_____, you gotta be there for me.”

“I need you to have a better attitude about it.”

“Where can we go where we can’t be found?”

“_____, don’t worry about what the others are doing. You must embrace what is special about you.”

“My home… It’s gone…”

“I feel something inside… It’s like… the opposite of HAPPINESS!”

“Gosh, I’m so sorry, _____… Do you wanna sit down and talk about it?”

“You are so disappointing on so many levels.”

“Can’t get much worse than this.”

“It is literally the most useless idea I have ever heard.”

“Well, we’re still alive.”

“So why did you come back?”

“Somebody get me some markers! Some construction paper! And some glitter glue!”

“Ohh, you’re really letting the oxygen out of my tank here.”

“_____, we must go. You know how perturbed I get if we are not punctual.”

“This might be the right galaxy after all, because I see a heavenly body…”

“Oo, woah, I have a boyfriend, and it is super serious.”

“You’re trying to bail on us!”

“Babe, look, if this relationship is ever gonna work between us, I need to feel free to party with a bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it.”

“_____, you’re such an amazing person. And, you know, if _____ can’t see that then he’s just—well, he’s just as blind as… a guy… whose eyes have stopped working.”

“I’m here to see your butt.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“First law of the sea… Never place your rear-end on a pirate’s face.”

“Yeah, I want speakers that you can hug with your arms and your legs, and just feel the beat.”

“Hmm. I thought you didn’t like that song.”

“I know you put on this tough act, but you’re not as mean as you try to seem.”

“Anyway, I don’t think that’s you. The real you, anyway.”

“That was the first time anyone had ever really old me that… and it made me want to do everything I could to be the guy you were talking about.”

“Hey, what are you two losers talking about?”

“I-I don’t like goodbyes. Let’s just call this “see you later, alligator.””

“Sneaking around the corner… AAAHH!”

“Did you just call me old? Well, junebug, I really prefer the word… “experienced.””

“You are a thousand, billion times more un-special than me.”

“_____, unfortunately, I’m gonna have to leave you here to die.”

“So I guess running around and screaming is normal.”

“_____, you’ll think of something, right? Like you always do.”

“The only thing anyone needs to be special is to believe that you can be. I know that sounds like a cat poster, but it’s true.”

“Well, what do we do now? There’s gotta be a bright side somewhere.”

“I know things seem kinda bad right now, but there is a way out of it.”

“Y-you’re not—you’re not gonna say no?”

“Am I just gonna keep falling forever?”

“What in the world is that? It’s… adorable.”

“What happened? No, no, no, this is a disaster!”

“You know the rules. This is not a toy.”

“You can’t expect me to be able to resist playing with all this.”

“This rebellion ends right now.”

“Stop! Stop it! No! Stop it!”

“You all need to be more friendly!”

“The last thing I need to do is finish you.”

“_____, did you make all of this?”

“You don’t have to be the bad guy…”

“You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe.”

“Oh! We got a hugger.”

“I liked _____ before it was cool.”

“Well, things sure have a way of working out smoothly, am I right, guys?”

“Everything is better when we stick together.”

“Let’s party forever.”

“Life is good ‘cause everything’s awesome.”

“Side by side, you and I gonna win forever.”

“You know what’s awesome? Everything.”

“Everything you see or think or say is awesome.”

#rp meme #roleplay meme #ask meme #inbox meme #sentence starters #the lego movie #*mine

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