#( CHARACTER STUDY; KAZ. )

[asemtipovedal]

six of crows fandom will you accept me please this is my kazzle dazzle character study as a welcome gift

[potatoesarecheese]

oh, nothing. just thinking about...

characters that simply refuse to die

characters where the universe will not let them die, you have one more job, you have one more purpose, you have just one more day that you have to live through- and they keep living because they know that the universe is right.

characters that stand on deaths door for just a few seconds too long, and then turn around. they are drawn back to the land of the living through love and fear and pure spite and the raw, visceral need to live.

characters who stand on deaths door and knock, and are let in for afternoon tea. who are so familiar with death that they can have a friendly chat with the reaper, and then return to the land of the living.

characters that crawl out of their graves hissing and spitting and something entirely inhuman, intent on dying again and dragging as many people along with them.

characters that crawl out of their graves screaming and crying, so full of pain that all they can do is wander the streets and wail. no one listened to them in life, so they refuse to be forgotten in death.

characters that crawl out of their graves hollow and carry their burdens alone. they fill their hollow bodies with someone else's tears and take away everyone's sorrow, because they've already survived this much, they can handle a little more. and by the time they realize they're dying again, it's already too late.

[teaitis]

Was there never another dream?

[shitapril]

we all know that a significant part of kaz brekker's infamy is rooted in his ability to get out of anywhere and anything completely unscathed and undetected - or to be more pedantic, in a way that everyone knows exactly who's done it without any evidence whatsoever against him. all that with a permenantly injured leg. or maybe it's beacuse of his leg that his feats are that much more impressive.

now take a moment to think of kaz brekker without this injury, something that holds him back in terms of physical prowess. can you imagine the havoc he could create ? he would create ? the ease with which he could create disharmony and have events playout and unfold the way he wants them to ?

yet, part of me believes it's the injury that brought out the stealth and subtlety in him. when his physical strength and agility were taken away from him, he was forced to compensate in other areas. in typical kaz brekker fashion, he took a weakness and made it his strength.

[kazswraith]

In Shadow & Bone (Netflix) 2x3, Kaz intends to handle Inej’s injuries himself.

He knows the condition she’s in and he sends everyone else away. After having to listen to Pekka Rollins goad him about how he’s going to put her back in the menagerie, after he erupts on Wylan for his ‘history lesson’ about the plague, after Nina warns him that her healing might not be up to the job.

Jesper and Wylan set off for Pekka’s alleged glass factory, Kaz tries to brush Nina off but she would have none of it and he had to give her info so she would go to Hellgate.

Once alone, he goes right to the room where he thinks she’ll be, her name in his mouth, but she’d climbed out the window. Wraith’s gotta Wraith.

He knew what he was in for when he went in and expected to find her. Imagine if she’d stayed. I want that scene.

[thiefofcrows]

PERSONALS, DO NOT INTERACT.

I been meaning to write a post about this for quite a while, so —

As anyone who's read my carrd or written closely with me knows, I portray Kaz as being demisexual / demiromantic. I do want to make it clear that it is not some kind of result of his trauma whatsoever. I've seen people put up a fight about it, as if Kaz being on the ace/aro spectrum automatically implies that and .... I think that's a terrible take. Not only that, but you can 1000% tell the people who make a fuss about it ( the people I see are in pinterest comments and stuff ) are not only not ace or aro, but they have no idea how either of those things actually work, given there's a broad spectrum. They're like 'If he doesn't show absolutely zero interest in anything relating to romance or sex, then he's not ace!' ... and ... That's Now How That Works, BUT. I digress ... :))

My flavor of ace is a bit different than Kaz's, but regardless, the reason I portray him this way is because, as an ace person, I deeply recognize and identify with the way he thinks about and experiences desire. And, experiencing flashes of desire doesn't mean he isn't ace - people use that argument a lot, with this bit here ( from Cr.ooked Kingdom pg 415 ):

But feeling fleeting flashes of desire is Very Different than seeing a person you find attractive and actively wanting to have sex with them regardless of whether you know them or not, which is what traditional sexual attraction is ( and LET ME TELL YOU ... figuring that out was the most wait THAT'S REALLY HOW PEOPLE THINK?? moment, I stg. I deadass thought people were exaggerating, but a lot of people Are Not! ). It doesn't come in flashes, it washes over you like a wave and stays there. Not to mention 'he knew what he was expected to say, the things he was supposed to want.' ... I have had that thought so many times in my life and every ace person I've ever talked to has as well, and I know a lot of them.

The way Kaz pines after Inej in his inner monologue is ace coded as hell, too. The things he finds beautiful or alluring about her aren't anywhere near sexual in nature. He mentions her laugh, her eyes, her hair, and of course who she is as a person, traits like her bravery and the way she manages to seek the good in the world, despite how bleak a situation is. While the sexual attraction is absolutely hinted at as well near the end of CK, the rest of this is all romantic attraction and both were built over years of establishing trust and a bond between each other - and with the way it's written, it's clear imo that it would still be the same case even without the Trauma. It wouldn't take as long, of course, but he wouldn't feel those things about her instantly, he would have to get to know her and bond with her first before any attraction emerged. Demisexual and Demiromantic is literally doesn't feel attraction without the presence of a deep bond.

People also talk about how Kaz must have been attracted to Inej instantly because he convinced Per Haskell to pay off Inej's indenture a day after she spoke to him. HOWEVER ... I guess let's completely disregard the fact that he's fifteen, which is a year after he broke his leg, where he's been working on crafting a specific legend around himself re: his cane and his injury to protect himself. It's safe to say that someone hadn't snuck up on Kaz since he was maybe twelve or so, as that's when he joined the Dregs.

Imagine you've crafted this armor from consistent trauma around yourself to prevent getting taken off guard, because that is something that can kill you and has almost killed you .... and then this girl suddenly just appears next to you and you didn't notice. This girl could've literally driven a dagger through your ribs and you wouldn't have noticed her until it was too late. Imagine realizing that, if you didn't get her out of this place, she would go to someone else and they would recruit her. Pekka Rollins could recruit her. And then, one of your enemies has a means to sneak up on you undetected at literally any point. The amount of sheer terror she likely instilled in him in that moment, like ... yikes. Kaz is Like This because it is what has kept him alive in the Barrel.

Like .... yeah, in that circumstance, I would've allied with her the very next day too lmao. Kaz is far too focused on trying to survive to even think about that shit, but note that he never mentions feeling any immediate attraction to her whatsoever. He stayed awake that night trying to solve the puzzle of how tf she was able to sneak up on him with bells around her ankles. He wasn't laying there thinking about how pretty she was lol.

ANYWAYS ... I ended up rambling but tldr; Kaz is demisexual/demiromantic. It's illustrated clearly in the books by his actions and inner monologue, it has nothing do with his trauma. I 1000% think it's canon and I'll happily die on this hill, kthxbye.

[angelwiththeblue-box]

Chase Davenport knew two things the day he met Leo. One, this kid was going to break a lot of things, and two, his life would never be the same.

.

chase davenport character study bc i cannot stop thinking about lrmmef

pairings: lab rats team, ef team, chase/kaz, bree/skylar

word count: 1558

rated: t

warnings: mentions of toxic relationships, childhood trauma,

taglist under cut (lemme know if you want to be added or removed)

@blueskiesandstarrynights @thedragonemperess @depressedtransguy @lab-trash @tronagon @thedrowningpoetofdionysus @genuine-possum @someguyiguess

[kayzowl]

talking to you isn't great (8347 words) by kayzowl Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Simon Aumar & Edgin Darvis & Kira Darvis & Doric & Holga Kilgore & Xenk Yendar Characters: Xenk Yendar, Edgin Darvis, Kira Darvis, Holga Kilgore, Simon Aumar, Doric (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves) Additional Tags: Minor Simon Aumar/Doric, Autistic Xenk Yendar, leading up to xedgin if youre looking for it, POV Xenk Yendar, Oneshot, Found Family, no beta we die like men, Post-Movie Summary:

Xenk has been accused of lacking conversational acumen in the past, and likely will be again. But for some reason, this time, he wants it to go differently.

[tabl3]

Power; an Elite Force Snippet

This is a bit of a retrospective/study into how this scene SHOULD have gone. I think I’ll do more of these for the smaller moments in my rewrite that aren’t as plot important. Anywho wrote this on no sleep and four cups of coffee so have fun with that lol. // TEMPORARY DEATH, MENTIONS OF PTSD, LOTS AND LOTS OF ARGUING LOL//

The hyperloop doors whirred open to a scene far too calm in Oliver’s opinion. Far too calm for what was about to be done.

“Are you out of your damn mind?” Oliver stormed over to the cyberdesk where Chase was mixing chemicals. He buried his fist in Chase’s flannel, yanking him over to be eye-to-eye, much to the boy’s surprise.

“Are you?” Oliver demanded again, volume rising. “You can’t actually be serious!”

“Mother of…” Chase grumbled, covering his closest ear with his free hand. “Inside voice, dude.”

That only made Oliver angrier. Ordinarily, he’d apologize for overwhelming Chase’s super hearing, but this circumstance was anything but ordinary. 

Chase should be the one person in the household with enough logic in him to veto this whole thing. Or at the very least show some reservations. But he looked cool as a cucumber. Admittedly slightly annoyed and quite tired, which probably stemmed from him working all night on a chemical mix to kill Oliver’s best friend.

“Oliver, what is wrong with you?” Skylar interjected, vital monitors stuck to her face in laughable false precaution for what would be her certain death.

“What’s wrong with me?!” he shouted, making Chase wince and remove his gloves to cover both ears. “What’s wrong with you?” Oliver directed his fury back at him. “Are you trying to-”

“Oliver,” Skylar stood, taking on her hero posture, commanding, confident, and absolutely not going to listen to reason. Despite the machines hooked up to her and the simple hoodie and jeans she wore, she still took control of the whole room. If Oliver was thinking clearer, he’d back away immediately. “Let him go. Now.”

There was a palpable tension.

Oliver and Skylar stared at each other in a standoff. Chase didn’t look particularly afraid or angry, more just inconvenienced, resigned even. Cold and logical, like he had already calculated Oliver’s next several moves.

Oliver would really like to throw him through the wall. 

He still didn’t entirely trust him or his sister yet, but this went far beyond that. Too far.

Skylar’s eyes narrowed in a challenge. With or without powers, Oliver was well aware that she could easily kick his ass, even though this was all on her behalf.

Begrudgingly he released his hold.

Chase fixed his shirt, back to the stupid perfect it had to be. There was a small tear in the collar now. Oliver still didn’t know his new strength. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

Skylar’s gaze softened but stayed locked on Oliver in warning. Chase turned back to his work. Oliver felt the anger spark again.

Before he said anything, the left stone wall concealing the tunnels under Centium City opened. 

Kaz strolled in, arms full of various tubes of bright-colored liquids. He looked relaxed. Chipper even. Oliver was flabbergasted.

“Oh, hey, Oli,” he hummed. “Was looking for you.”

He dropped the tubes on the desk, smirking at Chase’s whispered “careful.” as he did quite the opposite before Chase could finish the word. Chase rolled his eyes fondly.

Oliver narrowed his. They seemed a lot closer recently. He didn’t like that.

“So Horace said those would do,” Kaz said, draping his arm around Chase’s shoulders. Horace knew too? Oliver felt like he might implode. “Guess who broke the wormhole transporter again?”

“Kazimieras.” Skylar and Chase sighed in exasperated unison.

“Ding ding ding, correct!” Kaz made his way over to their friend. Oliver pretended he didn’t see the slight slump in Chase’s posture when he left. “Dude, you look so stupid,” he snickered, poking the sensor on her cheek. 

“And you look like an unwashed rat who's been living in a week-old burrito by an alleyway dumpster for two years,” Skylar replied, not looking up from her nails.

Silence.

“Y’know what, normally I’d be offended but that creativity was through the roof,” Kaz raised his eyebrows.

“Thanks.”

“You’re not welcome,” he said jovially, moving behind her chair to start rocking her back and forth. She rolled her eyes, unable to hide the small smile at the corner of her mouth.

“So, when are you injecting E.T. with your freaky genius concoction?” Kaz continued, now messing with her hair as well. 

“Science, Fireboy,” Chase corrected, smiling. “Except it’s not because she’s a legitimate alien. No, I’m not over that.” Skylar shot him finger guns, which made him snort. “It will be ready in a few minutes.”

A few minutes. 

Oliver clenched his fists.

“You okay there, man?” Kaz’s voice snapped him out of it. “You seem a little off.”

“A little off? Well, let me think. It’s kinda cloudy outside. The store was out of Loopy-Loops. Oh, and-” he raised to a shout. “This stranger-” he pointed accusingly at Chase, who didn’t bother to stop what he was doing. “Is about to inject our best friend with her one goddamn weakness on a flimsy theory of getting her powers back, and everyone seems peachy!”

Kaz and Skylar exchanged surprised looks. Oliver was pretty sure he’d never directed anger this genuine at either of them in all their years of friendship. He wasn’t angry at them. Chase? No. Not really. Davenport, for forming this team which led to his son introducing Skylar to the idea of putting one of the few things that could kill her into her body for the slim chance of getting her powers back? No.

He was angry with himself. That he couldn’t find another solution in all the years since he promised Skylar. That he was too late, and now would have to watch her die. That yet another person he loved would be ripped away.

He couldn’t do it.

Not again.

Oliver turned back to Chase. “Stop this. All of it. I’m putting an end to it. Right now.”

He looked unamused.

“Stop what?” A new voice interrupted. 

Oh great, the other one.

Bree walked in from the hyperloop, smoothie and shopping bags in her hands. She plonked said items down by the desk, climbing her brother like a tree to see what he was doing over the tubes of liquid, much to Chase’s annoyance. 

“Do you mind?” he grumbled, moving the likely highly dangerous chemicals from the edge nearest to his sister.

“No, I don’t. I’m perfectly content.” she hummed from her perch, balancing herself by her hands on his shoulders, most definitely knowing what Chase meant and being obnoxious on purpose. “But you’re so sweet for asking.” 

“He’s working on a serum to get Skylar’s powers back,” Kaz said haltingly, still off-put by Oliver’s outburst. 

“Wait, that’s doable?” Bree glanced down. “I thought it was just another nerd idea you had with no foreseeable fruition. Way to go, dude.” she ruffled Chase’s hair. He failed at killing his smile.

“So even you can see it’s stupid?” Oliver was exasperated at this point.

Chase scowled at him. Oliver realized belatedly that it sounded like he was demeaning her intelligence, which wasn’t his intention at all. He definitely knew insulting one sibling in the ridiculously overprotective pair would mean bad news for his health. Before he could correct, Bree piped up, seemingly unbothered.

“No. Never said stupid. Why are you so pissy about it?”

Oliver threw his hands up. 

“Coal! Everyone’s willing to risk Skylar on this “nerd idea”, and for what?”

“For her powers.” Kaz appeared to be getting legitimately annoyed with Oliver now. He folded his arms. “You know. The one thing she’s wanted since the day we met her.”

“But this isn’t the way!”

“Then what is the way, Oliver?” he glowered. “You’ve seemed to not be able to find it in all these years.”

There was a long silence. Everyone else stared at the two. 

Oliver didn’t have an excuse. Kaz was right, in a very rare occasion. 

He hadn’t found any cure. 

So this was his fault.

“I’m not going to stand by hearing you be all asshole-ish,” Kaz continued. “In my job description as your best friend.”

He passed by Oliver to the other side of the room, putting his arm around Chase again.

“Chase is the smartest man in the world, on top of being a total bionic badass with more experience than you and I could imagine, on top of the fact that he’s not a stranger. He’s a friend. And I’m pretty sure friends don’t intentionally endanger other friends. Skylar and I trust him. He knows what he’s doing.”

Kaz leaned in towards Chase’s ear and stage-whispered: “You do know what you’re doing, right?” 

“Yes.” Chase fanned his suddenly red face, avoiding eye contact. Bree raised her eyebrows. He shot her a look. She held up her hands in surrender with a grin.

“Just… why- how are you okay with this, Kaz?” Oliver scrubbed a hand down his face, feeling exhausted and defeated at this point. He figured that Kaz of all people would understand. He didn’t, obviously.

“Because it’s not my choice to be okay with!” Kaz shouted, frustrated. Chase winced, Bree reflexively covering his ears.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Oliver, we both know how much this has been killing her. We both know- even though she’s also a total badass without them-” he shot finger guns at Skylar, who smiled softly. “Not having her powers is like… like- taking an arm from you, or my collector’s edition Tecton comics from me. Besides the fact that it isn’t my choice, or yours, I’m pretty tired of seeing the Skylar Storm all mopey.”

“Thank you, Kaz,” Skylar said. “Oliver, he’s right. It’s my choice. And I’ve already made it. Are you just upset that you’re not the one who figured it out, or-”

“Sky, of course not,” Oliver made his way over, crouching down in front of her chair. “I-It’s a risk vs reward thing, I just-” he glanced over to the other side of the room, where Chase and Bree were very intentionally busying themselves with other things to give the three their space. “I-I,” he swallowed. “I can’t lose another person.”

The wedding dress, flashes of light, a horribly twisted laugh and most of all the crushing weight of betrayal played in his head.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Skylar grabbed his hands, squeezing them to ground him. “I promise. But I need this Oli.”

Oliver glanced up at her face, full of confidence and resolution, but more tenderness than he’d ever seen from her, directed at him.

“O-Okay,” he resigned. “Yeah, okay.”

“Hey,” Kaz crouched down next to him, squeezing his shoulder. “If anything goes wrong, which it won’t, we’re right here to do treatment. Everything will be fine. And after we’ll be a whole trio of supers. How fuckin’ baller is that?”

The other two laughed.

“Guys,” Chase said quietly, attaching another wire to her. “It’s time.”

Oliver pushed down the anxiety welling up in his chest, accepting Kaz’s hand to pull him to his feet. Skylar took their hands in hers, squeezing them with a reassuring smile. 

Chase pulled out a massive needle, causing Oliver’s anxiety to shoot all the way back up, making him woozy. Kaz subtly moved in front of his view of the syringe. 

Bree pulled Skylar into a quick hug, with whispered encouragement. Skylar smiled at her, and if Oliver wasn’t mistaken, there was a soft blush on her cheeks.

Chase put his free hand on her shoulder. “You ready?”

“More than ever.”

He nodded, placing the tip of the needle at the nape of her neck. She winced ever so slightly at the injection. He motioned for everyone to move a few steps back.

Oliver kept his eyes glued to the vital monitors.

There was a hush for about thirty seconds as all five waited in anticipation. 

“I feel fi-” Skylar cut herself off with a cough, black fog spilling from her mouth. She coughed again, clutching her chest. The beeping of the monitor sped up. 

“Chase,” Bree’s voice wavered. “I-Is that supposed to happen?”

He didn’t respond, eyes wide as he stared.

Veins darker than the fog began to spread on Skylar’s rapidly paling skin. She coughed again, then much to Oliver’s horror collapsed from her chair onto the floor.

He and Kaz rushed forward, only to smack into a light blue wall. 

“Don’t,” Chase cautioned. “Just- hold on-”

“Hold on?” Oliver shouted, pounding his fists against the forcefield. “Let us in!”

“N-No-” he did not look a shred as confident or calm as he had earlier. “The serum needs time to work through her system-”

“Skylar!” Oliver yelled, using all of his super strength to no avail. “Can you hear me?”

She was fully limp, pale and shivering as more of that smoke poured from her lips. The heart monitor sped up even more.

Kaz backed away, hands in his hair. “No, no, no, fuck-” he mumbled, stumbling into Chase and immediately grabbing his hand. 

“Chase!” Bree cried out again, tightening the vice grip on her brother’s arm. He shook his head, white as a ghost.

“Skylar!” Oliver felt his throat ache, but he didn’t care.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. 

“Damn it, drop the shield!” Oliver frantically shoved against it with all his might.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. 

“Skylar!” 

Beep.

The final one, long and all too familiar for Oliver tore through the room. Every time he’d heard it in the hospital was nothing compared to this. 

His best friend, on the ground and unmoving, no sign of life. Her eyes were slightly open, blackened blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. 

She was gone.

Oliver dropped to his knees.

All the color drained from the world. 

Gray static filled his vision and ears. 

He could hear Kaz and Bree both scream, though it sounded miles away.

She was gone.

She was gone.

The sudden beep ripped Oliver from his haze. The heart monitor. It showed activity. 

He gasped, whipping his head back to where Skylar lay. 

She groaned, shifting ever so slightly. 

“Skylar!” Oliver exclaimed, relief flooding him so fast that he felt dizzy. 

Kaz rushed over as Chase dropped the forcefield, working with Oliver to pull her into a sitting position. 

Bree sped forward, practically tackling Skylar with a hug. Chase let out a shaky exhale, bracing his hands on the counter behind him to keep himself from buckling.

“Wh… What happened?” Skylar held her head. “Who are you people? Where am I?”

Oliver’s heart dropped to his feet.

“Haha, kidding,” she smirked. “Did it work?”

“Mother of Quimby Fletcher, I hate you,” Kaz let out a noise between a sigh and a laugh. 

“Love you too, jerk,” she replied. “Did I-”

“F-Flatlined, yeah,” Oliver managed to respond, despite feeling more choked up than ever before.

“Twice, what a record,” she laughed.

It felt amazing to hear that sound. Oliver thought he never would again.

“Yeah, don’t do it again,” Kaz suggested. Together they hauled her back into her chair. The veins disappeared and color gradually returned to her skin. Oliver wanted to cry.

“How are you feeling?” Bree asked, hand on her shoulder.

Before Skylar could answer, a thermometer was stuck in her mouth. 

Chase read the result when it beeped with a sigh of relief. He smiled at her softly.

“Seems like you’re okay. How do you feel?”

“Great, actually,” Skylar said. “Better than I have in a while. I-”

She stood up and immediately took off into the air. 

Oliver’s mouth dropped open.

A giant grin of surprised jubilation spread across Kaz’s face.

Bree squealed happily, jumping up and down, while Chase leaned against the wall, folding his arms and widening his smile.

Skylar floated midair in shock. She stared at her hands, as if she were unsure that they belonged to her. Then more pure joy than Oliver had ever seen from her lit up her whole being. 

She flew all around the room, whooping in excitement. 

She crashed right into Kaz, who was more than happy to catch her. He spun her around, laughing with her.

“They’re back! Holy shit, they’re actually back!”

Oliver ran over, lifting both of his best friends up in a hug. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy. It had to have been years. 

He set them down, keeping an arm around each. Chase and Bree were watching them with twin grins, Bree’s arm around his shoulders and an expression of pride on her face.

Skylar slipped out from under Oliver’s arm, making her way over.

She yanked Chase into a crushing hug, lifting him off the floor by a couple of inches.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “Thank you so much.”

“Super strength,” he choked, patting her back.

“Oops,” Skylar dropped him. “Gotta get used to that.”

“It’s okay,” Chase said. “I’m used to it enough.”

Oliver remembered he had brothers, the big one had super strength if he recalled correctly. 

“Do you mind if I run some non-lethal-” he directed that towards Oliver. “Tests to make sure the serum is properly integrated?”

Oliver sheepishly remembered his one-sided angry confrontation.

“Yeah, of course you can,” Skylar put an arm around Bree. “I-I can’t believe you managed to get this far- it’s been so long- just thank you.”

“Anytime,” Chase patted her shoulder, turning back to his console.

~*~

Oliver sighed as he toweled off his hair. He stared into the bathroom mirror, trying to begin to process the whole whirlwind of emotions today brought.

From the anger to the resignation, the fear and the despair, the pure amazement and gratefulness.

But ultimately Skylar had her powers back again.

Oliver smiled to himself, remembering the joyous grin on her face. He’d wanted that for her for so long, old crush be damned. He’d decided a while ago that he’d been treating her as more of a fan than a friend because of it, so he figured it’d be best to drop the crush. It also helped that approximately two days later she’d come out to him and Kaz as a lesbian, which veritably sealed the deal. But she was one of the most important people in the world to him despite all of that, so seeing her be so happy made him happy.

He left his thinking when he heard a quiet conversation on the other side of the door.

“Seeing her be so happy is awesome,” It was Kaz, echoing Oliver’s thought. “Seriously dude, I can’t thank you enough.”

“They’ll take time to all return. Her powers. It’ll be a process. …I’m going to be honest with you,” Chase swallowed. “I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”

A brief pause.

“Yeah, okay,” came Kaz’s muffled reply. “But you did it successfully, which is what matters.”

A longer pause.

“I thought she was going to die,” he admitted softly. Oliver could hear the shame pouring from his voice. It sounded too familiar to his own. “I thought she would, and it would be all my fault, and Kaz, I don’t know how I’d live with myself if-”

“You’re spiraling, dude,” Kaz interrupted. “She’s okay. Everyone is. You did the impossible today. Focus on that.”

“But-” 

“Stop pestering my friend.”

Oliver could practically see the confused expression on Chase’s face.

“He’s really cool and smart and all, but he’s tired all the time because he works himself to the bone for other people. I think he deserves some slack. And some rest.”

Oliver decided that would be a good point to open the door. He stepped out into their shared bedroom, taking in the scene. 

Kaz sat on his bed, Chase in a chair across from him, looking very much frazzled and anxious the more Oliver looked past the obnoxious “perfect” of his posture. Kaz was resting his hand over both of Chase’s where they sat on his lap, drawing comforting circles in his knuckles with his thumb.

“Hey dude,” Kaz hummed. 

“Hey,” Oliver said. “Can I talk to you, Chase?”

Silence. 

“I gotta go shower anyway,” Kaz shrugged, standing much to Chase’s chagrin. “You didn't use all the hot water, right?”

Oliver smirked.

“You little shit,” Kaz rolled his eyes, going past him and closing the door. 

“I didn’t, but it’s funny to make him think I did so he turns it all the way hot. What a surprise he’ll have.” Oliver sat where Kaz was.

Chase snickered. 

There was an awkward quiet as neither boy knew where to start. 

“...I’m sorry,” Chase began.

“Dude, you don’t have a reason to be sorry,” Oliver shook his head. “I’m the one who came raging down there. And the one who treated you like a criminal when all you were doing was helping Skylar.”

“Yeah, but you were worried. Justifiably. You were right about hardly knowing me and having me take her life into my hands.”

“It still wasn’t fair,” Oliver sighed. 

“I get it, really,” Chase put a hand on his arm. “I have people I want to protect too.” Oliver’s eyes flicked to the picture of the Davenport family that sat on Chase’s desk. Brothers, sisters, mother, father, uncle. Maybe they were more similar than he thought.

“Truce?” Oliver asked, sticking his hand out.

“Truce.” Chase smiled, shaking it. He stood, patting Oliver’s shoulder. “Get some rest. It’s been a long day.”

Both of them burst into laughter when they heard Kaz yell “MOTHERFUCKER!” from the bathroom.

~*~

Oliver carefully wove his way around the various Kaz items on the floor as he navigated in the dark. He didn’t bother to check the time, too fed up with the ever-present nightmares plaguing his mind, exacerbated by what happened with Skylar that afternoon.

He made it to the bed, rolling sleeping Kaz to the other side, who groaned. 

“Why yes, Oliver, of course you can sleep in my bed. Thank you for asking,” he grumbled.

Oliver didn’t reply, burying under the Tecton comforter with a sniffle.

Kaz seemed to understand as he didn’t press further or kick him out.

Right as Oliver was about to drift off, their door opened, spilling light into the room.

Before he could react, he and Kaz both got rolled further over, making them whisper-shriek.

“Oops,” came Skylar’s voice. “Super strength. Sorry.”

She crawled in on Oliver’s other side.

“You okay?” he murmured, concerned that she showed up too. 

“Yeah. Better than in forever,” she repeated. “But I know you. And I figured you weren’t.”

Oliver sighed. He didn’t know how to unpack that.

The three of them lay in silence for a while.

“Just know,” Skylar whispered. “I’m not going anywhere. Neither is Kaz.”

Kaz grunted his unintelligible agreement. 

“And I don’t think Chase and Bree are either if you give them a chance. Goodnight, guys.”

Oliver took a breath. 

It was okay. He was quite literally surrounded by his favorite people, with other ones who were at the very least good people in his corner. 

Things would be okay.

[journey-to-the-attic]

quick q you totally don't have to answer but do you plan on designing sonno? lowkey the way you write him, he's kinda 😳

i do, actually! along with the more prominent rad teachers (kaz, magdalene and elderflower) - but sonno the way i visualise him mentally has a Vibe and specific Look to him that i haven't quite mastered drawing yet, so it'll be a while until i can finalise it!

also i'd be worried about your interest in him but looking back on how i write him it's absolutely my fault so. you have my blessing!!

[esotericdescent]

I have some Headcanons for Kaz to share in reference to his trauma / haphephobia. A couple of them involve vague mentions of ~intimate situations.~

It's never really explicitly mentioned in the books, but I suspect blood is one of his triggers—although fresh blood isn't as much of an issue as I think it has a lot to do with scent rather than the physical sensation of it. It's the sickeningly sweet, rotting coppery scent and if he's stuck with it on him long enough, it can easily lead to a panic attack and/or a fainting spell. It's also very likely the reason why the only time he gets someone's blood all over him is either when it's a last resort or when he just .... loses his cool, which doesn't happen very often ( I mean, he doesn't particularly like killing people anyway, but yk ). In SOC when he rips that guys' eye out, they change POV after Kaz goes bellow deck to clean himself off and stuff and like ..... I think about that a lot. Might write a drabble abt it some time, who knows.

When/if Kaz gradually starts to work through his touch aversion issues in order to be able to physically touch someone casually or intimately, he strikes me as someone who is ... extremely intense once he's comfortable. Because of his aversion, he's also very touch starved, which becomes immediately obvious very quickly in that case.

I think, when it comes to kissing someone, that is likely one of the easier things to work through for him simply because of how stark the contrast is. Like, the heat of someone's mouth, the intimacy of being able to hear and feel someone's breathing, feel how very much alive they are. And for that reason, it becomes pretty immediately apparent how much he enjoys it once he gets there.

One of the ways he keeps himself grounded during these situations is being able to feel someone's pulse, which he can do by either feeling for it by resting his hand on their throat / pressing his thumb against their pulse point there, or doing the same on their wrist(s).

However, something important to note; it will absolutely take a lot of tries, trial and error, for Kaz to be able to work through these things. He is probably going to have several panic attacks along the way and it's gonna be a rough start; it's especially going to be complicated and very, very meaningful for him to allow someone to be anywhere near him when that happens too, so it'll require a ton of thorough plotting. I don't mind skipping ahead, as long as we thoroughly discuss and establish the difficulty in Getting There.

I will also say that, as someone on the asexual spectrum myself, I am 5000% very, very flexible about what intimacy would mean for him. Smut does not have to happen for Kaz to be intimate with someone; literally him letting someone hold his hand is a very huge indication of intimacy for him okay. There's a part of him that deeply, deeply struggles with shame regarding his trauma and limitations because of it, so. Someone eventually knowing What Happened and insisting on giving him the space and patience that he needs and/or being like "you don't actually have to Ever btw" despite his stubborn attitude sigh lmao is 👌👌

Kaz's struggles with touch will never fully be gone, no matter how much he works through it. There will still be days where he can't handle physical contact and there will be days where he's handling things just fine but the slightest thing twists the wrong way and he has a panic attack or can't touch anyone for hours or the rest of the day, ect. It's always going to be there in the back of his mind, being considered with everything he does. And, even with working through it to be able to touch Certain People or Someone In Particular, he still won't be able to deal with it casually, with people he doesn't know well or trust. It's especially Bad if it's not anticipated from someone he doesn't know well or trust.

[astrhae]

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

thank you for asking 💙 i'll write any AU that allows me to masquerade the fic as an AU when actually it's a 20k character study and an essay on the meaning of life akdkssdk (my wesper hanahaki AU is a prime example of this)

i've been told that i'm incapable of writing a simple AU fic: as much as i love reading fics where an AU is just a different way to get two characters to kiss, i'm drawn to writing AUs where the AU can act as a tool to crack a character open in ways canon can't or doesn't --- and those are also my favorite AUs to read! currently writing a wesper regency AU that's an excuse for me to explore first meetings (not just the first meeting, but the way you meet someone for the first time over and over again as they change and as you change and as you know them better)

i can't write, and i don't usually read, AUs that involve one of the characters falling in love with a ghost because of my complicated relationship with the concept of ghosts and such in the culture i grew up in, but i do love fics that explore a character's ghosts!

[tklpilled]

currently thinking about scara. specifically how human he really is.

like, obviously he's not human. i know that. everyone knows that. but he's not just an average puppet either. the biggest thing is that he has his own emotions — he knows what he wants and what he doesn't, he has ambitions and meaningful relationships with people that he formed on his own (he's also very trans coded, but that's a separate post). he cries and laughs and yells. he has feelings that weren't just made up by ei to give him some depth. he feels things physically, too, especially hurt (and undermines his own pain, but again, different post).

his non-human aspects, though — he can't be poisoned, he doesn't need to eat (he does anyway, because he likes the taste, but he won't die without it), he's incredibly pale (although that may also just be genshin), he has markings on his body, he only imitates breathing instead of actually doing it. and, obviously, he doesn't age (at least not like humans).

but that's...really it. those are all, for the most part, just little details that remind you that he's still a puppet. this entire post is just word vomit but my point is that he's more human than he and everyone else seems to think.

[cheribou]

tags 2.

[thiefofcrows]

patron saint of horror

       you're the patron saint of the dawning moment of realization. the patron saint of comprehension, maybe. the patron saint of understanding. the patron saint of knowing exactly what's going to happen. of seeing clearly. of not being able to look away.

Tagged by Stolen from: @lostxtosunlight

Tagging: whoever wants to do the thing, you should 👀

[lesbiansanemi]

Seeing the anime finally get into Giyuu and Sabito’s relationship has really made me want to write their backstory in the role swap AU… they have one of the more complicated ones but I really wanna dig into how I interpret their relationship and characters