#( last rb of this I swear

[troutreznor]

i found my first grey hairs today

[the-grape-entity]

When a bad day at the end of a few bad weeks turns into being terrified you’re getting worse and terrified you’re never getting better

[ghostboymp3]

skirtgate feels like a religion I'm so dead serious. it's self love and gender euphoria and sharing joy and having fun and pure self expression and creating beauty with your friends and the holiness of love/joy in the trans experience and feeling alive and remembering we're not alone in this godforsaken world. it's remembering we have love and joy and each other in spite of depravity.

also we're all worshipping miss gerard way. that too.

[guideaus]

theres like no posts when i search hikaru no go on here, i hate tumblr's search function

[maitanii]

what if i write something for ran (again)

[elektroblues]

WHY IS HE SO FINE

[rblbler]

Another one for the books. 🔥❤️

[loveofastarvingdog]

sorry guys i really thought i’d hit post limit a few reblogs in….

[alixlives]

How the FUCK does this keep happening

[ven-on-trial]

okay i do Not have the patience to keep reposting and praying itll show up so out of spite tumblr doesnt get the smut now smfh

[yoggybloggy]

oh god oh fuck [conceptualising a hornet + quirrel encounter]

[perilegs]

monster cock this monster pussy that. what about other types of monster genitalia huh. in my perfect world it's made for grinding

[roturo]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ OH! SO YOU'RE INTO OLDER MEN?

˚₊·➳❥ JJK MEN SHOWING YOU HOW A REAL MEN FUCKS! satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, toji fushiguro ✧˚ · .

tags: afab!reader, reader is mentioned as a female, use of nicknames (baby, princess, doll, slut, whore), cheating, degradation, caught cheating, getting caught, unprotected sex, blowjob, pussy slapping, mating press, breeding, age-gaps, virginity loss [...] rbs are appreciated!

satoru gojo (Daddy’s girl)

well, that’s the word he used for the little girl you're babysitting right now. he’s a great dad and husband. there’s just this tiny whiny little thing he couldn’t do right– and that’s loving his wife as he should.

like– it’s not that he doesn’t feel guilty, it’s just… well, you looked really cute in that mini dress, he and his wife have been fighting lately anddd– he could tell his daughter liked you more than her fatality of mother she has these days. she even called you mommy by accident once! and that was the last water drop gojo needed for the glass to break.

“Oh- I bet you’d love to be full of me right now.” His thrusts became messier each time he pounded on you, “Mhh, fill you up ‘n make me a daddy again– you’d like that princess?” you couldn’t even talk anymore with how good he’s making you feel– he had your legs pressed on the bed thanks to his arms, almost bending you in half, he was making sure that mating press works.

“Ffffuckk- You feel s’good baby” He felt your walls clenching again, no matter how many times he made you come, he’s making sure you’re coming again after he does. A not ending cycle for him. “Such a slut for me hm? Coming all nice and pretty to this house just to be ruined at night–” his words made you feel dirty, but the euphoria of it was stronger, “such” slap, “a nasty” slap, “slut” slap– “and all f’me” with those last thrusts your body couldn’t take it anymore, spasming and trembling while your poor hole was filled up again. gojo’s wife didn’t even bothered to break your little encounter, she suspected it long time ago.

all that was left was a wide grinning gojo satoru and some divorce papers.

suguru geto (Daddy’s best-friend)

you didn’t intend this to happen… you always knew your dad’s best-friend was hot. he’s geto, ‘cmon. he brings a new girl every weekend whispering in your dad’s ear swearing she’s the one this time.

he saw you grow up, turn into this beautiful and strong woman. so how he couldn’t love you? you were like a doll for him, so beautiful and radiant in every way. a porcelain doll he needed to protect, he couldn’t lose you to any dangerous or stupid man, he swears he would beat the shit out of the guy who breaks your heart first.

“Shhiiiitt– Heh– I can tell how tight your pussy is princess–” His cock was stretching the living shit out of you, touching places never in a thousand years you could imagine you would feel. “what d’ya think daddy would say if he saw his little girl being fucked by his best-friend huh?” your brain was a fuzzy mess, you couldn’t make coherent words to say, and just feel how good geto is making you feel. you couldn’t remember how many times he had made you cum with his toungue and he’s just starting to fuck your pussy.

“ ‘m such a lucky guy if i'm the first you’re giving this pussy to, don’t ya think so doll? marking it as mine, baby I swear you’ll need no man to ever fuck this pussy of yours again– shit I won’t need another woman for myself, you’re the one baby” those words filled your heart of a tingly feeling, making more butterflies roam around your tummy, touching yourself you could sense geto’s cock coming and leaving with every thrust, your brain full of air and in need of more of his cock.

he couldn’t resist himself anymore when he was next to you, his cock would get hard the minute he enters your house, and thankfully he has a pretty doll to release himself with.

kento nanami (Big Boss)

Nanami thinks he’s a good and mature guy– At least for his wife and kids… He has this aura of a serious and mature guy but inside every time he’s just this close to breaking it, just to say what he really thinks or feels.

the first time he saw you at work with your tiny skirts and tight blouses he didn’t mind any type of attention to it, you were another cute worker, that’s all. One of another– he can think other women are pretty too right? maybe even prettier than his wife… and nicer, and cuter, and more homely feeling to be a mom. but he wouldn't do anything he would later regret right?...

“You’re s’pretty baby, such a dirty whore for my cock mhm?” he had you pounding from behind, his desk becoming even messier than it was before, one of his hands keeping you laid down on the desk arching your back like if he’s trying to break it– a sudden ringing brought you back from your unconsciousness of nanami’s cock– he answered the call, not a single sing of him trying to stop thrusting into you.

“Yeah?” his voice was out of breath, almost sounding like a sigh when he answered the call, “Where am I? Huh– I’m at the office r-right now…?” he wasn’t even sure if he could keep this act, losing himself more in the feeling of your pussy clenching on his cock– “Oh yeah- I’m okay, uhh- the kids? yyeah, yeah, they’re with my mom right now–” the feeling of keeping up a call with his wife while fucking you made his cock twitch inside of you, feeling like a teenager kissing their crush for the first time. it was no surprise for him that his wife was cheating, but he wanted to keep it like that for the sanity of his kids. 

“Quit the act Kento– I know you’re fucking somebody else right now. See ya at home.”

toji fushiguro (Step-Daddy)

you hated when your mother started dating new guys. they just kept breaking her heart– but you just stopped telling her that it's okay to live without a partner, that she had you by her side, but well… this new man was something else i guess and you didn’t say anything for the sake of your own good mother.

you didn’t like him, but for the sake of your mother you pretended like you do– and let’s be honest, toji doesn’t like children, so when he first met you he wasn’t as social as others… your mom was just too good to simply let go– but the way you moved, talked, dressed caught his attention, and as time passes and he spends more time with your mom– he's no longer drawn to your house just to see your mother, but to see you. 

“Sshhiit- You’re making me feel s’good baby” the lack of air was making you feel giddy, but the way his cock twitched inside your mouth made your core get even wetter. “C’mon baby, ride my shoe,” you wasted no time before your hips started moving, trying to gain some friction and release that tingly feeling coming from your core. 

“D’ya think your mother would like to see her daughter being full of his step-daddy’s cum?” he gets one of his arms behind himself trying to gain some support while his other free hand caresses your cheeks while you continue sucking– this same hand moves out your head and frees his cock out of your mouth, a small strand of saliva connecting your mouth with it–

“Fuck– guess i choose the wrong out of you two”

[muppetebbtide]

discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

10,435 notes

🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

47 notes

☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

.

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

4 notes

unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

100,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

50,432 notes

🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

Read More

2000 notes

Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

435 notes

cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

34 notes

✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow

🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

7013 notes

🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

5 notes

🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

[gnaga37]

the part that gets me is that they're just likes. not even a funny comment under the post. not a funny tag. just... boring likes that only fill up my page

[saetoru]

tee!!! i hope u don't mind me asking about rb!gojo but i've been wondering if he's ever visited reader at work? :o (actually i wonder a lotta thINGS about rich boy! gojo and reader, this is just the thought that i think about the most LMAO)

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。SECURITY — GOJO SATORU. (rich boy! au)

contents. college! au, rich boy! gojo, established relationships, reader’s work is unspecified ; notes. niku HELP. i bet he does visit often and i bet it’s equally endearing as it is utterly embarrassing

for anyone else, having your boyfriend visit you at work is sweet. it’s romantic. it might even be the standard—for you, having satoru visit is a nightmare.

“hiya baby! i brought lunch—i know you didn’t have time to eat breakfast today, you were running late. i kept you up all night, huh? you seemed tired. what can i say? i’m just too good at what i do.”

what. the. fuck—every time satoru opens his mouth, you regret not sewing it shut when you had the chance. he manages to make you wish you could crawl into your own skin and turn inside out.

you glare at him. he grins.

“this is your boyfriend?” your coworker gapes, staring at satoru as he plasters a smug little smirk on his face—a part of you wants to tell your coworker to stop looking at him with heart eyes before you staple them shut. the other part wants to deny ever being involved with the jerk that’s effectively embarrassed you for the rest of your career in the span of two seconds.

“i don’t know who this is,” you say quickly, “can we get security?”

“wha—what are you talking about? i’m literally your boyfriend,” satoru sputters. you look at your coworker like he’s crazy—she looks at you like you’ve grown two heads.

“he’s not,” you insist.

“i am!”

“definitely not,” you shake your head.

satoru looks more than a little offended. “i totally am! don’t lie!”

“i swear he’s not my boyfriend,” you chuckle nervously, “i don’t even date guys with freaky blue eyes and weird white hair, really!”

“hey!” he gasps, pouting, “that’s mean! you called me handsome this morning!”

“i don’t even know his name,” you insist—your coworker doesn’t seem to believe you, unfortunately. why doesn’t she believe you? you plead with the universe that she somehow, by the grace of god, believes you.

“that’s a lie,” satoru snorts, “you knew it pretty well last night. i think my neighbors know it too.” leave it to gojo satoru to embarrass you even worse than he already has at your job of all places.

“satoru,” you scold harshly before you realize—and then you blink before sighing because…well, you’ve really backed yourself into a corner with that one.

“aha,” he grins victoriously, “see? you know my name. now introduce your boyfriend who took the time to cook you—”

“buy,” you correct. he huffs.

“fine. buy you lunch—still very thoughtful, if you ask me.”

“wow,” your coworker giggles, “you guys are…certainly a dynamic.”

“thank you!” satoru grins, beaming as he sends you a wink. you think you might have to put in your two weeks notice during your lunch break—but at least you can wallow in your miseries with an expensive lunch provided by the bane of your existence.

“that wasn’t a compliment, satoru,” you grumble.

“well, at least he’s cute,” she chuckles, elbowing you.

you scowl, crossing your arms as you warn, “don’t be looking too closely. he enjoys the attention.”

“are you jealous?” satoru wiggles his brows. with a fake smile, you grab the lunch from his hands before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“thank you for lunch baby,” you hum—he smiles, ready to answer when you cut him off, “security!”

this is so unserious 💀