#( listen i like to say i'm a good influence but i'm a horrible awful influence

[belyyv0lk]

👋

Fave falcon and winter soldier scenes??

👋

There are so many, it's hard not to just say uhhhh all of it. But personally the scenes that for sure stick out the most??

1. John walker in The Whole World Is Watching.

Not only incredibly poetic but also just overall very shocking and had great cinematography?? I think I was genuinely shocked because I couldn't recall a time where the MCU was willing to show something so violent (without even actually showing anything graphic? But it wasn't even necessary for it to be graphic which is great, I don't need to be grossed out to understand how important something is, so well done.) At this point I already liked John but it just made me like him more as a character because it's a great demonstration of how the pressure of society can be crippling and turn you into something you never intended to become. I would also mention his court scene, also great. "You made me." Gives me chills. Because it's very true.

2. Zemo & Sam, also in The Whole World Is Watching (good episode lol)

Personally almost every conversation between Zemo and Sam was awesome?? Sam really does an excellent job of pointing out a lot of hypocrisy in Zemo's arguments, though you can also tell that Zemo is having an influence on Sam too, but in a way that only makes him better. Sam is so good, I love him so much. He's able to remain open minded and calm when listening to two very extreme viewpoints (Zemo & Karli), managing to be compasionate and somehow utilize and understand the valuable knowledge in both of them? Again, excellent. Plus I enjoy seeing in this scene particularly that what Sam has to say does get to Zemo.

3. "You are free."

Feel like I don't need to say anything??

4. Yori in One World, One People

I think what struck me the most with this was that there was nothing to make you feel better afterwards. You don't get Yori forgiving Bucky. You don't get him thanking him for telling the truth. All you get is the pain involved with the admission. Bucky's task of making amends is for the sake of those he hurt, yes it will be helpful for him in the long run but the pain it takes to reach that goal is horrible. I love this scene because it is heartbreaking, Bucky is putting himself through something awful so that Yori can have the closure he deserves.

I'm sure I'm forgetting so many but these are the immediate ones that came to mind! Feel free to share some of yours!!!

[the-a-archives]

your aesthetic always was interesting to me.

can you do those aesthetic photo explanations you used to do with a before and after you found your style?

That is a great question, and I figured that you would ask this eventually. I can do a comparison for you.

Disclaimer: If you wear the style I previously wore, I still favor the style very much, just not on me, it doesn't match my "vibe" anymore, per se.

Much like the color palette at the top of the page, I have gravitated to more muted tones as I've gotten older. However, for a good period of time, I enjoyed bright, bold colors, on oversized clothing or extreme darks that made me look unapproachable. I felt as if it hid flaws I was highly self conscious of, while making me stand out enough for people to either look towards me-- or on the contrary, so dark that they would view me as invisible.

popname.cz : pinterest

Yellow was a big color factor for me at this time, and to put it at a more ranged value, this would be around ages 17-19. For writing purposes, we'll call this period of time the (y) period. Get it? Because Yellow starts with a "Y"...? Okay, I'll stop.

During the (y) period, my style matched that of my behavior and social group of the time. I felt righteous in this small rebellious period I had after being compliant towards academics for so long. Similar to my musical evolution, this was the period where I listened to the most rock. And I still have the playlist on my Spotify to refer back to (and listen to when I need to be in the mindset to remember this area of my life). I had been trained to hate my body due to mediocre, druggy, significant others and this influenced me into buying clothes that were two-times my size to hide my figure.

(EX: At the time, I wore M, and would buy XL)

But like most busy bees, my yellow coat had a contrast and it was black. I had graduated high school, and was finally young and free. To fit into the social group I had at the time (and to complement my god awful behavior), I had made my wardrobe look like if I wanted to disappear into the shadows of a dark alleyway? I could.

My church clearly loved me.

tumblr::pinterest

By the age of 19, the end of the (y) period, I had gotten sick of the people bright colors had drawn towards me like a moth to a flame. In no way is this saying those who like bright, bold, colors are horrible people, it was just the people that I had notice ME because of these colors that were horrible. So, ridding of it entirely, I just wore black for the remainder of that age. This was also the age I had gotten bodily modifications done, some stuck, others didn't.

As if it wasn't noticeable already that I liked women, I can ensure you, it was a smack in the face now. I had gotten snake bites, a rendering tattoo sleeve that serves me today as a shrine of my favorite horror movies, and a tongue piercing because I thought it was funny. Ear gauging had also taken place, but that started when I was 13 due to it being a thing my family does as well and it's going to stay until I die.

But despite my minorly edgy clothing and the blasphemous way I wore my jewelry, that Machine Gun Kelly phase hit me like the meteor that struck the dinosaurs when I entered and exited the situation ship with my ex.

Introducing the p(ink) period.

hipland.co :: pinterest

This period is the shortest.

I will forever and always be mad that this phase left me. Pink as my favorite color was an amazing experience and if it was a human, it would be the affair I'd have in my office. I have nothing bad to say about this phase of my life. By this time, the tongue piercing had left me due to me being a biter and accidentally ripping it out of my tongue.

The p(ink) phase was so liberating because I believe that was the year where I absolutely didn't care about anything (except college but I pretended I didn't) and lived life care-free. But I was 20, and I'm now 21, so obviously that reality didn't last long. But this introduced browns to me and I soon realized that-- wow, I really like the color brown.

This is where my current style started to come in, I suppose. Because I had dropped everyone except two people in my life, 2022 was ending and I felt a real shift begin to happen in my life?

Enter what we'll just call the (A) period.

void::pinterest

I would also like to touch upon the masculine clothing I've been using since we're finally somewhere more current. This isn't a gender thing, there was a point in my life around the (y) & p(ink) period where I thought it might be a gender thing, but it isn't. I am just built like my father, and though I have feminine features, masculine clothing has just always fit my body better. I've never been one to try and willingly fit into spaces as masculine energy, but with the way I dress myself, I understand that it's in human nature to look at me and subconsciously see me as masculine so I don't mind or get offended at this. And honestly, the term "sir" gets thrown at me so many times I don't even notice it anymore. Until I open my mouth obviously and they're like, "That's a woman!!" [quote: random barista at local coffee shop].

But anyways, browns were very easy to pair with light colors such as white's and beige's. But this was the biggest period where I had thrown most of my clothing away (it was really donated, but you get the point). And little by little, I had began to introduce these muted tones, and an overall different style into my life. I had invested in more collared shirts, trousers, blazers, sweaters, etc.

Something about this had made me feel more put together. More me too, in a sense. This came with a lifestyle change too, obviously, gone were the days of just doing whatever I wanted just to avoid responsibilities in my life. However, I missed the darker tones I used to wear so they found their way back to me eventually.

I'm not a big T-shirt person unless its a solid color with no design, I'm not a jeans person unless I'm wearing a white T-shirt, I have casual shoes I've kept from previous phases for the sake of color options but I mostly wear black boots now. I've found I favor turtlenecks, and clothes that fit my figure instead of being wildly oversized, and trousers I can match a good belt to.

I can give you a flurry of example photos, ready?

Bam.

luxuryandvintagemadrid.com : pinterest

Boom.

void::pinterest

Pow.

nana : pinterest

Okay, that's it. Hope it helped. :)

bisous,

A.

[treadmilltreats]

Thoughts become things

There are a lot of ways to say this, that thoughts become things. Recently, my youngest said she wanted to read the Secret. She said she was blown away by the concept of this book while I was blown away because she was reading at all! (Maybe with all I speak about, they are actually listening??)

She said this guy who wrote the book was a great writer. I told her that yes, but this wasn't his idea. He just wrapped it in a new package. This was a concept going back thousands of years. It started from the Bible. Yes, you heard me right, the bible.

"You reap what you sow,"

Same thing as "You get what you put out in the universe."

"If you believe, you shall have"

"Ask, and you shall receive"

Same thing that is different in packaging, but however you get there, it is the message that is important.

If you keep saying I'm broke, you're going to continue to be broke. If you say I'm never getting out of this situation, guess what? You're not!

If all you sow is negatively, doubt, fears, bad energy that is what you're getting back, in abundance!

I never once thought, when I changed my mindset, that I would be stuck in that horrible marriage forever. I knew there were bigger and better things in store for me.

I believed it as if it had already happened. I never gave up, even when year after year went by with no change.

I still held on to the dream. Until it came true, and it was way better than I could have dreamed of...way, way better!

But here is the key to making it happen… I changed my mindset.

You have to be willing to change your mindset, to throw your old ideas out. You need to change what you speak. You need to get rid of negative people and commit to believing even while you're going through the storm. You need to never give up!

Say what you want, write it, speak it to the universe, or to anyone who will listen. Make a vision board, dream it, act like it is already yours, and you're living it at this moment. Don't let others rain on your parade if they don't believe in your dreams. It's not your job to assure them or explain to them. Because they won't be coming with you when your train comes in.

I speak about my NY Times best-selling book, my international blog, and my tour. I keep telling people never to give up. I have now added Oprah Super Soul Sunday and Tyler Perry making my movie! Hell yeah, I dream big. If you're going to dream, why dream small. I believe in my soul all of this will come to pass, there is no doubt in my mind, none, zero, zip!!

So today my friends call it anything you want. Wrap it in whatever package makes you feel good, just know it's up to you to change, to believe, to put it out there...it's all yours, it's just waiting on you to be the change you want to see.

@TreadmillTreats

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[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genrephobic 2/10/2024

Hey Whores;

This week I found out a coworker had unfriended me from like all social medias and thats probably is a clue to why they've been given me a cold shoulder for weeks now.

at first I was really hurt and angry. It made me feel like I was some horrible person that did some terrible thing and it made me realize the way that I personalize rejection because it makes me feel that if its simple just my fault. If I am just secretly a terrible just simply awful person then I have some control. Matrying myself makes people leaving me an action I chose rather then something that has been done to me.

I want to be clear that I am not someone who refuses to take personal responsibility and I work really hard to unmantle a lot of my negative traits but there comes a point where you have to stop working on yourself and find people that will actually meet you were your at.

I was really pissed at her for a day or two. Wallowing in my hurt and eventually passed through that emotion. Because whether or not somebody wants to be my friend or not. IS honestly none of my business. If people do not want me in there life I'm not going to fight them. I am no longer making myself small for other people to swallow. I am not longer giving people more of what they already don't respect.

Anyway lets listen to some music.

Father of Invention (2012) - Professor Elemental

Genre: Steampunk, Chap Hop Length: 49:27 (20 Songs)

I will say one as a matter of principle Steampunk should not be considering a genre outright, but rather an aestetic styling. Right you can point me at like Waterpunk or Horrorcore. Those have distinct sounds but girl what does a Steampunk? sound like. Its a literary genre. To prove my point from wikipedia

"Steampunk music is very broadly defined. Abney Park's lead singer Robert Brown defined it as "mixing Victorian elements and modern elements". There is a broad range of musical influences that make up the steampunk sound, from industrial dance and world music[77] to folk rock, dark cabaret to straightforward punk,[118] Carnatic[119] to industrial, hip-hop to opera (and even industrial hip-hop opera),[120][121] darkwave to progressive rock, barbershop to big band."

I definetly understand steampunk as a style of song one makes rather then a specific genre.

Heart of Brass by Charming Disaster is a steampunk song. There not a steampunk band. Right. point over

Professor Elemental is kind of the seminial Chap Hop artist and I really don't know where to go from there.

I guess through contrast?

Mr. B. his playful rival is also very comedic as an artist but he seems more interested in playing into chap hop as an actually M.C. Right he has all these tracks about hip hop as a genre. In one of his more popular singles "(i've no wish) to keep it real" he leads with the line "a big of gold and a pager" which is literally a direct reference to "Straight Outa Compton". There very much is a desire in the genre to pay respect to the origins. There is craft here clearly.

Professor Elemental is more focused it feels on form?

Like the beats have a lot of complexity with samples and record scratching and other Disk Jockey Tricks. One Interlude is just a breakbeat track and its acutally fucking fire.

Overall its hard to describe this in a way that fully encapsilates it. because this is a comedic rap genre. This is like listening to an episode of wacky racers or something, (might be because I'm listening to the wacky racers style track), but its reductive to say that the work is only interesting due to its comedic and narrative nature. This is good hip hop music. There is a craft and depth to it. But it also stands away from the more self-serious origins of the genre. A bubblegum pop situration I guess.

3.5/5

Rock Steady (2001) - No Doubt

Genre: Electropop, Dancehall, New Wave Length: 49:02 (15 Tracks)

I really didn't like this one guys.

So if you don't know the story apparently No Doubt got really into Jamacian DanceHall music during there after partys and decided to go on a caribbian holiday, drink rum, and add dancehall vibes to there album tracks.

Ok I can just taste the cacastity in this one. Gwen Staphanie what is this.

(gurl how did I know she did dreads for this one)

and see thats the thing. Because theres some interesting songs on here. but then I get to the dancehall inspired stuff and its kinda shit. Its genuinely just not a good fit for the band, there rock and pop tracks on this album feel a lot stronger.

IDK i think I want to listen to an actually dance hall album by like y'know actually caribiians instead of a pop rock band doing some white tourism.

2/5

Blessings (2008) - S.J. Tucker

Genre: Folk Length: 37:46 (10 Tracks)

I don't have much to say about this album. S.J. Tucker is one of those singers that sound vaguely like the Celtic Woman. She's a folk musician guys what am I supposed to pull out of this.

The Celtic musical influence. the witchyness. The beautiful etheral voice. Baby girl its like Folk Punk. No one ever says that AJJ, McCafferty, and the Front-bottoms being indistinguishable is a bad thing.

S.J Tucker is a pretty folk singer and she made a good folk album. Through if I'm being honest I don't know what a bad folk album would sound like.

3/5

[mistwraiths]

3 stars

Sadly, I didn't love this as much as I loved A.M. Strickland's In The Ravenous Dark.

I think this is mostly a fine book however I felt it really average at best and didn't really give me any depth that I would have liked on the multiple different things it had. It had a interesting concept like training novices in vampire abilities and slowly, slowly turning them to be more vampire and gaining approval to become a vampire by the vampire courts. It was like a vampire school which was a cool backdrop.

We don't really get any good worldbuilding here. There's a few mentions of how this is set in our world here with a sentence here or there talking about these are Nordic lands, we were fighters once, which okay but it felt odd to throw in there a couple hundred pages later and not have it mean much of anything??? Where did the vampires come from?? How did they take over? There's other areas where the Courts have influence in different ways other than Fin's experience living in the Red Court's land. Like science and governing. How's that work? Once we're very near the end, we suddenly get more new information on Founders and suddenly, this Nameless Queen in the last 30 pages or so. Why would you introduce a huge plot thing in the last handful of pages? We're also thrown a new term that hasn't ever showed up in the entire book in the last 10 pages? There's also some mentions of actual children being groomed to become vampires that's never explored.

Fin was a frustrating character for me because she thinks she's so clever and instead she gets one thought and clamps down on it and refuses to actually think or listen or use reason. She just bounces around suspects and during one moment when she confronts said suspect it becomes so embarrassing. I don't really understand her either. I understand she hates vampires but like... why?? Is the practice of enthrallment awful? Yes. Taking a handful 17-19 year old every year terrible? Sure. But it DOES give people who don't have opportunities in life to HAVE new opportunities. She was treated HORRIBLY by humans especially and she's like I don't hate them. But vampires actually treat her sometimes better and she's like I'M GONNA KILL THEM.

The romance was there but personally I didn't quite feel like it was done well. Gavron was kind of bland mostly, and naturally even though he's being enthralled to do things, it's still his hand. There should be some weight there, not of blame but just hurt. Especially since it seems it's fully Gavron's idea to place Fin as a thrall, which is the biggest fear of hers AND keep her with his blood so no one touches her. Which was hard to follow, another concept completely brought up once. And then they were equals or something. There's no talk really of the power dynamic between Gavron and Fin either.

I will say I loved the acceptance of queerness and non-binary. I think some of the powers are cool, and the side characters were interesting although we don't get much. The complicated relationship between Fin and her mother could have been interesting but it wasnt really focused on. To be honest, there's really not much character growth to the characters at all? The end is a giant clusterfuck of new characters, new enemy, and like... what's going to happen later. I really didn't follow much of the ending about the Council, blood they drank, alliances of Courts, and what's to be done for the Black Court. We do get this half-hearted "we'll look out for humans and police the vampires" vibe at the end, but there's nothing concrete or set in stone. It's just "Oh things will be better" with no evidence.

If you want a YA vampire fantasy, I personally wouldn't recommend but I realize it wasn't bad just not my jam.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Anyway monkey fandom, i am BACK.

i was looking around and i found a couple of stuff about my monkey guy, and i wanted to share what i think of it!

First of all, it's about jttw.

We all know in the jttw universe, it happened already and we are watching what happens AFTER it,

We got reincarnation ect.

But most importantly,

Wukong.

well, how he changed,

Now from what we saw of him in the amnesia episode, he seemed rather happy, energetic and actually playful to say.

Going along with everyone, and obviously being reckless and impulsive as always, but!

Someone made me notice, how it might just be because of his good mood.

now, i strongly think that wukong during and before jttw he was a total asshole, like. Seriously he was an awful person.

If he wasn't, why would he needed to be redeemed?

Of course he became a bad person because of trauma and people well, mistreating him.

but let's see, maybe he had anger issues as in the book, he is very feared for his bad temper. Especially when he goes on a rampage.

so maybe, he had this little short temper, then he showed to have a sadistic humour and also kind of just.

Giving the vibe of not wanting to be there, as he was literally forced to.

But we see him growing, growing into something more calm, more relaxed and especially better at controlling his anger.

Now, i have a few ideas of what wukong and macaque friendship was like, and i can explain it another time, but considering wukong.."horrible personality" in the past, it probably influenced macaque and swk didn't notice.

But anyway, we see during the present wukong hardly or even never gets mad, or seriously pissed.

Of course he can get frustrated, annoyed and serious, but never ever mad. Or even snapping and going on a rampage unlike he did a lot of time in the past!

he seems more relaxed chill. Maybe even lazy, but he's still strong.

But unlike the past, he holds back.

He has no intention on actually hurting someone, even kill them.

until the LBD he never actually went into a fight! (not counting the spider queen.)

We see how he has grown into a more chill dad vibe, which it's a progress.

especially from how he started,

But we need to see why and how he changed,

He surely changed during jttw, it was his redemption journey after all.

but how?

The golden fillet.

i also strongly believe that his tendencies of doing things alone, not talking, hell his communication issues as a whole! Are from the golden fillet.

After all, he always got ignored, accused and punished unfairly.

He was always the one who got the worst punishment, he was the one who was always ignored and talked bad about,

So wukong has no choice but to change.

and he did! But he had his flaws.

He bottles up, he dosen't speak, he knows it's better if he does things alone and he knows he has to be CALM.

he's a Buddhist. He can't afford to show his real emotions.

But don't get me wrong, Buddhism has nothing to do with this! It's just how wukong think it works.

he has to bottle up anger, pain, sadness.

He has to be the perfect hero, he has to be calm and he has to stay silent because, what's the point? No one's listening to him anyway!

let's say.. Tripitaka teaching didn't work as good as he thought.

let's just say.

Trauma kicked in.

Keep in mind that wukong, or anyone of the crew in jttw aren't evil, please keep that in mind.

But this is all my interpretation! It's how I see it!

And I'm not putting or antagonizing anyone here.

[parttimepuff]

Sometimes learning new things and expanding one’s worldview takes nothing more than the willingness to do so. Other times it takes a rando throwing magic at you unprompted and putting you in A Situation™️.

Regardless, now that you’ve had the opportunity to experience the truth, might you be more open to the idea of dark matters not all being horrible beasts? At least I am not so foolish as to assume none of them have bad intentions, but it would be just as erroneous to assume none have good intentions either. They had a leader who used a hivemind to command them, control them, leading them to do awful things to so many people. That leader is gone now, leaving behind many to live with consequences for acts they may not have fully understood. Without someone pushing them to commit atrocities, many finally have the chance to learn and become their own person who makes their own choices. Just like with any other sentient beings, those choices can be bad or good, but a decision made by oneself is better than acts enforced by another,

Perhaps it would be more prudent to espouse positive growth in these individuals rather than deny them the opportunity to become someone other than who they once were. Otherwise, what motivation to change is there in those who are not entirely altruistic? The greater good likely means little to one who does not understand it. Understanding anything takes time, and often requires some amount of guidance. There is great opportunity to point them in the right direction, even through just as little an act as letting those who are not doing harm be. At the very least, is it not better to decide whether someone is an ally or enemy on a case-by-case basis? One of these groups may grow much more quickly than the other, but which will be decided by your approach to others.

P.S. There is definitely not a Sorry You Got M!A’d king size chocolate bar in this box I am leaving here that happens to be just the right size to fit a king size chocolate bar in it. Totally. For real. Some related totally true facts, Shiver Star is flat, there is no such place as Fine Fields, and rats have the ability to sense the future.

The knight sighed. "That's what you seem to think, at any rate." It was certainly one way to phrase what had happened. Despite not being in the best state after the revelation and all the questions that came with it, Metaknight turned to look at the intruder this time, at least seeming like he was listening.

He was silent for a moment, taking in what they said. "I had assumed you weren't so naive that you believed they were all safe. And I do understand how the hivemind worked under Zero. Or... I suppose I thought I did." Metaknight admitted. "It was my understanding that it was just a means to communicate objectives to all the drones and that the soulless creatures simply obeyed. There, may well have been more sinister intentions than even that."

"And it's what she used to contact me, isn't it?" The puff guessed, glancing away. "That she had access to it at all with Zero gone is, unnerving. But she never exerted influence over me. I'm certain I'd be able to recognize that now that I'm myself." Metaknight turned back to face the anon. "If some do remain and they truly weren't snuffed out when Zero was killed... I can only wonder how they've survived up to now."

Falling silent again, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. "For those that do remain, I can't say I'd welcome them with open arms. They still hurt countless innocents, regardless of influence. Though... I suppose the same could be said of myself and the rest of the army. It's, not so black and white."

"...but I cannot deny what you've said, either." Metaknight conceded. "Perhaps I'm the naive one, believing everything I heard was true. Yet... I can't dismiss it simply because it would be the easier option." He shook his head, frustrated with himself. "For now... I intend to call off our efforts to search for them. After all, perhaps you really were lying to me and there are none on Popstar to find."

"And after that..." The knight trailed off. "I, will need time to think. The crew is overdue their leave as is. I shouldn't hold it off any longer for a search that's no longer happening." Metaknight started to make his way to the door. He didn't need to stay by the controls any longer, Axe Knight would be back soon enough to land the ship.

Before he left the room proper, he stopped at the offering of a gift. His eyes definitely didn't light up under the mask for what definitely wasn't a huge bar of chocolate. Metaknight chuckled, picking up the box. "Regardless, I appreciate some form of apology, despite it not being your doing specifically. The, experience isn't forgiven, but it's appreciated." With that, he left the room.

[whumperooni]

Shaming Natsuo? I'M HERE FOR IT, I imagine it taking place in your fuckboy natsuo au after sis turns to papa enji and natsuo literally BEGS her to take him back, to allow him back into your life, but sis is being a bit manipulative and being like 'now you want me back natsu-nii? what happend to all your,,friends?' And he really tries to get her to spend time together again but put into this our posessive papa who says natsu has no bussines around his innocent sister anymore (1/2)

(2/2) and who is our baby girl to deny her papa? Cut to natsuo almost degrading himself in front of you to get you back and sis being like 'well, you have to try harder, daddy for example-' it's always daddy daddy daddy, never him, and it's so frustrating for him but it only fuels him to try almost stupidly harder to get you back, meanwhile sis can only smile to the thought of her desperate bro while still panting, tired but sated and well loved in bed cuddling with her smug posessive papa 💜

In this house we Shame Natsuo Constantly 👊

I love this a lot, nonny- you’re big brained af 💕

This is a continuation of this ask!

tw: incest, manipulation, toxic relationships, cucking (kinda)

It makes you feel a little sick to have your big brother beg you so desperately for your affection.

Sick. Angry. Sad.

Vindicated.

You want to forgive him for abandoning you. You want to forgive him for hurting you.

You want to forgive him...

but you don’t at the same time.

Natsuo-nii abandoned you just to make daddy mad. You had to suffer through his hookups and loneliness and so many awful fights because he wanted to act like a spiteful brat.

You’re still hurting and it’s not easy for you to forgive him right now. There’s some upset, mean part of you deep down inside that wants him to keep begging you for your attention and forgiveness- a twisted little streak rarely ever seen that thinks Natsuo’s pleading is just desserts.

There’s satisfaction under your hurt and despair and it disgusts you. But...but you can’t help but feel that it may be a little justified.

Even if watching your older brother turn so pathetically desperate makes your stomach twist in knots.

“-I know you wanted to see it. We can go get coffee after, too- your favorite place! And maybe pick up some ice cream on the way home?”

Your upper lip threatens to curl and spite chokes at your weak desire to say yes to Natsuo-nii, strangles it and makes you look away from your older brother with his sad eyes and pleading expression. It makes you feel bitter, this, but anger reminds you of whenever he ditched you to fuck a girl in daddy’s car and frustration floods over the sour feelings making your stomach churn.

“...why are you asking me? What about all of your friends? You were more than happy to spend all your time with them just last week.”

The words come out cold- cool and callous and more icy than anything you’ve ever said in your life. Natsuo flinches from them and that breaks your heart, but it makes the mean part of you think good; you better be sorry.

“Angel, please. I am so sorry. I-”

“Shouldn’t be talking to her.”

Your father’s voice makes you both jump, but Natsuo’s face drops even more from it. You look over his clenched fists and Enji places his hands on your shoulders and let your father pull you back against his chest, keep your eyes on the jealousy and frustration twisting your brother’s expression.

You don’t say anything while Natsuo fumes and you only close your eyes when vindication zips through you, lean further into daddy’s chest and let his warmth soothe you.

“You have no business being around her,” Enji continues on- voice rumbling in anger and his hands tightening on your shoulders. You open your eyes to catch Natsuo’s reaction and let yourself watch his face contort in guilt, fury. “You do not deserve to be around her. Your little sister doesn’t need another bad influence in her life.”

Natsuo’s mouth opens like he’s going to snap back at Enji, but you’re whisked around before anything can be said- your daddy’s arm wrapping around you and nudging you to walk away with him.

You don’t fight him. Daddy’s right, probably. And he’s...he’s the only one that’s been good to you lately. He’s the only one that has never let you down.

Daddy has always been there for you.

You let your father lead you away and something dark in you pulses whenever a faint, choked, anguished sob sounds behind you. _____________________________________________________

Natsuo keeps coming to you even after that rejection.

It makes you angry that he keeps coming to you even when acting like a kicked dog, but it makes something in you feel satisfied too.

It’s not nice having to beg someone for attention, is it?

You want to be snide and ask him that, but there’s the part of you that still loves him truly and deeply that keeps your nasty, hurt feelings in check.

If you’re being honest with yourself, the cruel little thoughts scare you a bit- you’ve never wanted to be mean to Natsuo-nii before.

But...well.

If you keep being honest with yourself, it’s vindicating to keep seeing him try so hard. It rubs a smug streak that you never knew existed when he brings you gifts and trinkets, when he grabs your hand and begs for just an afternoon together- a trip to the amusement park, a date to the cafe, even just to watch a tv show together.

You accept the trinkets mutely and put them away somewhere you don’t have to see them.

You don’t accept his pleas for time together.

He breaks down one night and demands to know why daddy- why not him? He’s so sorry and he’ll do anything to get you back, but please please not Enji anymore.

And all you can is smile at him- a little tired, a little sad and so very frustrated.

“Daddy has never abandoned me. He’s never ditched me for his friends. He’s never brought anyone over and let them be mean to me. He’s never made me sleep alone before. Daddy cares for me- he doesn’t let infantile spite get in the way of loving me.”

It’s harsh and cruel, but it’s true. Natsuo knows it’s true as well- even if it has his face scrunching up in anger and frustration.

“Angel, I- I love you! I never stopped loving you! I was just-”

You leave before he can say anything else and go to your daddy, sit yourself in his lap and curl up in his warmth. He’s satisfied whenever you tell him about what happened- possessive, too. Enji kisses you and he tells you that you’re a good girl for denying your brother, that you’re his sweet little one and that you only need him to love you.

And you let him do just that- you let him love you by mouthing over your neck and curling his thick fingers into your cunny, filling you with his cock and cum until you’re a sleepy little wreck against him with a sore throat from being made to cry his name out again and again and again.

You wonder tiredly if Natsuo-nii heard.

You hope he did.

It’s punishment and it’s twisted, but it makes your big brother try even harder to earn your forgiveness. He does everything for you in the hopes of winning you back- chores and cooking breakfast, lunch, dinner; buying you expensive jewelry and pretty flowers and cute plushies; gifting you tickets to shows you want to see and giving you money to go shopping with your friends.

He does so much for you- is wearing himself down to the bone- and...well...your anger is starting to fade.

But so is your guilt over your anger.

It just seems right for your big brother to be panting and begging after you now- you’ve done so much for him over the years and now it’s finally time for you to be paid back.

And it’s...well...as horrible as it may be, it’s starting to get satisfying reaping the spoils of your brother’s hard work only to deny him and go to daddy instead. It’s starting to get satisfying knowing that Natsuo-nii is forced to listen to daddy fucking you brainless while all he has is his hand and your loud whines to get him off. It’s starting to get satisfying to lay on top of your daddy after being stuffed with his cum and get your hair petted, hear him murmur about how he’s going to take you somewhere nice and buy you a pretty dress and new shoes and all the things his little one deserves. It’s starting to get satisfying being spoiled by daddy and waited on hand and foot by Natsuo.

It might make you a bad person but, if you are, it’s Natsuo’s fault for hurting you in the first place. And, besides, he’s the one that keeps coming back to you- he’s the one that’s a glutton for punishment.

It’s his fault that he gets nothing but rejection while daddy holds your heart and gets to be with you in bed, gets to have you wrapped up in his arms.

It’s his fault that you belong to daddy now- you had always been your big brother’s ever adoring little sister but now you’re daddy’s girl through and through.

Natsuo is just going to have to keep trying again and again- keep pleading you each and every day until you decide to give him a crumb of affection.

Maybe one day you will but, for now, you’re going to stay content in your daddy’s arms- a smile on your face as your father plugs his cum inside you with a thick finger, as you drift off to sleep wondering just how your big brother will try to prove his love and devotion tomorrow and the day after that.

[rrandomtthings]

Why i hate hawks and what i think about the heroes and villains :

Firstly I always thought of hawks to be really sus when i was watching bnha, and even before season 5 or when i started to read the manga this year. I didn’t trust that he was a good character and got really bad vibes from him. While everyone else liked him, I just couldn’t bring myself to see how. Sure he’s cool and I guess good looking to others. But I never understood why people could like him. Moving on. He’s a huge ahole. In season 5 , he really made me mad when he was treating tokoyami that way. Even though he ended up being a great teacher and helping him out, it still bugged me, idk but that’s my opinion. Now to the biggest reason I hate hawks, is what he had done twice. He had no reason . No reason to do that to him . Even though it was his job to betray the Lov, he really didn’t have to go down that path. Where was the good in killing twice? Making him think that they were friends, making him think that twice had another person to trust and someone else who understood . It's like hawks said right ? That he was only going to take him into custody, and help him change his ways . He said this right before he killed him off. And even more, what was the point at ALL for saving him from dabi’s fire???? What was the reason, if he was just going to kill him off himself . How is that being a hero ? Heroes are supposed to do anything to stop the villain, without causing deaths. There was no justice in killing twice, there was no justice in betraying the league, there was no justice in even giving the hero's information on the villains, because in the end, they just ended up having a huge war that they didn't even when, and let many heros die and villains get away, and everyone disagreeing with the heroes and having them against them. All i'm trying to say is , i don’t think hawks should be called a hero , and i hate him for what he has done, not only to twice, but also making things so much worse, gaining the trust of people who really believed him and then betrayed them, and for him getting justice for killing when isn't that a crime when the villains do it?

Speaking of heros. I don’t condone any of the villains for their crimes. But none of it would have happened if it wasn’t for society . The way I see it, it's the world's fault for how every villain turns out. No one is willing to help them. Listen to them. Understand their story . Villains, in my opinion, are understood people that lash out against the world, because the world turns their back on them. Just like what happened to Shigaraki when he was little. The old lady went up to him, gave him some type of hope that someone was there, got a good look at his appearance and she walked away and said “I'm sure the police or heroes will come soon” . Even the people on the street just gave him glances , not even bothering to see what's wrong.

“ After that, i left home and ran away . I had no idea what to do .” None of this would have happened if his family treated him better . “ What am i supposed to do now ?. Someone … Anyone… please tell me. Help me!”

“ But even so , in a society overflowing with heroes , I couldn't help but wonder if no one saving me was my punishment for killing my family “ . He even feels guilt for what happened, but he was put in a position where he had no choice, or that's what he was led to believe. That if he could take away the thing that led to his itchiness, he’ll finally be okay. He didn't know that it was a wrong thing, he was desperate to be finally okay, he didn't even know what to do , he didn't know what he was doing

“ If only he had done something , if only she had done something, I thought the itching went away but . If at that time, just one person had lent a helping hand … maybe all of the itchiness would have gone away.”

Why wasn't anyone there? Aren't heroes supposed to always be there, saving people, helping them, isn't society responsible for what happens around them since they are the ones who control how it can change and what happens to it from their actions? And then they wonder why things happen to them. Why not step into the villains shoes. Why can't the world just be kind , and right . But his itching went away, because just when he found himself all alone, surrounded by nothing but loneliness and getting hurt by the people around him, someone came to save him. And that person wasn't a hero, but a villain . Do you understand where I'm getting at? Of course shigaraki would grow up thinking that things that are illegal are okay, and why he turned out that way.

Fake heroes couldn't care less. They are in it for themselves , not giving a dang about anyone else. It's just for show. They just want to keep up appearances, show that they could never do wrong . But a true hero would keep fighting, and keep helping , making sure everyone was okay and preventing things from happening. He would fight for what's right. I dont think a true hero would let the villain get away of course, but they would look for the good in them and help them become a better person. Again, i do not condone the villains' actions. Because I do also believe that there are just some things that are purely evil and cannot be forgiven or even have an excuse for , but I'm saying, there are always two sides to a story. We just need someone who can look at both and make a change .Because maybe the heroes aren't really the people who should be getting praise in the story . In the end, sometimes the heroes are the hypocrites and the ones doing wrong. And we just need people to see that.

I don't know if I have a strong sense of justice, or think in grey, or maybe I'm just rambling. But I always felt strongly about these types of things. I am happy to share some more thoughts on bnha and some opinions and theories i have - 🔥❄️️

And anon!! You are super valid to have this opinion

I do understand where you’re coming from. I’m a very indecisive person. So when it comes to this situation I understand both sides. I understand why it was awful for Hawks to kill Twice, but I also understand why he had to do it. I generally agree with what you’re saying though and do understand where you’re coming from. But I also think it’s important to remember that Hawks did not want to kill Twice. It was 100% the worst case scenario — the scenario that had happened. It was an awful thing to do and you’re once again very valid to dislike him for this reason, totally understandable. I personally like Hawks bc,, he is the personification of what’s wrong with hero society. He was a child with a gifted quirk who was groomed to be what is perfect for societal standards — to be a good hero. He was stripped of everything from such a young age and to him,, this was normal. This shows how fucked up hero society is and how, being someone raised by the government, that has influenced his thinking. For example with the Twice situation and how he did not hesitate to hurt Twice

As for the villains, I 100% agree with you. They are a result of a failed hero society. Take Toga for example, she was completely trashed bc of her quirk. These people are pushed to villainy bc they literally have no where else to go. Where was Toga supposed to go after everyone treated her so horribly? Where was Dabi supposed to go after Endeavor? These people had no one. They are the result of a toxic mentality that revolves around quirks. The lesser or more “villainous” your quirk is, the further down you are in the chain. This was shown with Deku, but to a much lesser extent. Bc Deku was quirkless, he was treated like his quirk — he was treated like nothing. This is why I love villain!Deku AU’s so much bc,, it’s so interesting to think about where Deku would have gone if he had grown hatred for the people who treated him so horribly.

This reminds me of Ochakos question of “who saves the heroes” bc the answer is that the heroes save the heroes. They are the ones who are there for each other. This is why I want her to change her question to “who saves the villains” as she tries to save Toga,, bc who does save the villains? Bc it sure as hell isn’t the heroes

Also!! Pls feel free to come into my inbox at anytime!! I had a lot of fun analyzing and chatting about this <3

[mooifyourecows]

moo, wtd? i feel so guilty after slapping my sis so hard, but she's turns out one of those edgy twt stan sending death threats to others on twt. i'm sooooo fucking disappoint right now, bcs i never knew. i rlly thought she's a good and smart stan, but nah. i think i have to go offline and do the internet diet thingy with her, so we can reflect and learn to be a better decent human being. but idk, i don't have any power over her screen time :(( should i tell my parents or nah??

When it comes to family, especially young family who you love and see good things in, it’s best to try and educate them before turning straight to punishment.

Sending death threats to people is awful. Even more so when it’s over something foolish like opinions on art/music/media/etc. Online bullying is a serious and real thing that can actually lead to both emotional and physical harm of the victims.

If you think your sister is good and smart even after learning this about her then she should have the ability to grow and learn and change as a person. Outright punishing her for her actions might have the wrong effect and make her think it’s okay to go EDGIER because “ugh my loser older sibling is so sensitive and takes things too seriously bleehhh.”

I don’t know what sort of reasoning your sister has for sending death threats online but I think it’s best for you to sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why she has been doing it. Ask her why she thinks it’s okay.

Because people have different opinions than she does? What’s wrong with that? Why can’t people like what they like without being threatened for it? Why does she care? If they like something that’s unpleasant for her then why is she wasting time and energy being angry about it when she could just block that content and move on?

Instead of wasting time and energy on dragging others down, she should be spending it lifting up the things she loves.

I don’t know what sort of stan she is but since I started getting into Kpop, I’ve noticed a lot of weird fandom hate between stans of different groups. Especially between BTS and Blackpink. And it just doesn’t make sense to me. So much hatred from both sides... stans trying to sabotage their “enemy” group’s comebacks and harassing other stans or starting rumors and then creating fake twt accounts pretending to be stans of the group just to be mean and disgusting like WHY? All of that energy... WASTED. They could be putting that effort into lifting their group up even higher, voting for them and streaming them and putting out beautiful, positive content and movements to make them proud and instead they’re fighting! Ew! How sad and pathetic is that????

There is no value in such nothing hatred. Hatred should be saved for Nazis and corrupt governments and rapists and capitalism. NOT for someone who has a different opinion on things that are SUPPOSED to be fun.

Your sister needs to be educated. She’s most likely being influenced by the people she’s exposing herself to. She sees them doing it and thinks that it’s alright. She probably thinks it’s fun or part of the stan experience. 

Educate her. Tell her what an impact she might actually be having on these people she’s bullying. Ask her if she really wants them to die. What if people said those things to HER? How would she feel? What if they sent those things to YOU? How would she feel?

Try to be patient and listen to her reasoning. Don’t blow up and get angry but find a way to let her know the true power words can have online. Give her a chance to learn and change and if it doesn’t work and she continues to do and say the horrible things that she is, tell your parents. I know it feels slimy to snitch, especially on a sibling, but this is important. I’ve known people who have received death threats and hateful messages that have severely fucked with their mental health to the point of self harm and suicidal thoughts. Your sister getting in trouble with your parents is a tiny price to pay.

If you have a hard time educating her, feel free to send her into my DM’s either here or on Twitter and I’ll talk to her instead. Or if you need more advice on what to do, don’t be afraid to send me some messages! I’m more than willing to help in any way I can!

Spread love and stay strong, Babe. I’m proud of you for standing up and challenging the hate! 🖤🖤🖤

[azulafangligo]

I know it's a bit late, but I wanted to share another story for @azulaweek . It's for day 4. I was happy to be part of Azula week for the first time and I'm looking forward to participating next year. Stay flamin :))

A mother's love

This story takes place about a week before the flashbacks in Zuko Alone

Everyone in the Royal Palace was sleeping at this late hour, except Ursa. She couldn't sleep a wink. She tried really hard to fall asleep, but to no avail.

It was a warm night in the Fire Nation. The moon shone high on a cloudless, black sky.

The princess left her bedroom with a candle in her hand, walking through the empty, dark corridors of the palace toward the kitchen to drink a cup of water. She could have ordered a servant to bring to bring her some water, but she didn't want to wake anyone up and start a commotion. Besides, she didn't like ordering others around. Ursa respected the people who served her and her family, but she didn't like relying on them for every little thing and exploit them, even though most would argue it was their job. It just didn't seem right and she wasn't comfortable with it.

As Ursa got closer to the kitchen, she entered the corridor with Azula's and Zuko's rooms. She passed by Zuko's room quietly, but when she was a few meters away from Azula's, she heard a creaking sound as the door was slowly opened. She stopped as she saw her daughter walking out of her room while rubbing her eyes and closing the door behind her. Azula spun around to see her mother after she noticed the candle light. She looked startled, but also tired, having small dark circles under her eyes which had been half open until she saw her mother. She was now facing Ursa wide-eyed.

"I was just going back to my room," Azula said after a few seconds, putting her hand back on the door handle.

Ursa looked at her, worried.

"Are you alright, Azula?" she asked.

"Yes. I just wanted to drink some water," she said, annoyed. Even though she was obviously tired, she seemed in a rush to get away from her mother. This saddened Ursa. She really loved her and cared about her, but she knew she wasn't always doing the best job of showing her that. She tried hard to be a good mother for both Azula and Zuko, but her husband made that very difficult.

She stepped closer to Azula and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, tell me what's wrong," she said gently. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No, I already told you, mom. I was thirsty. Now I'll go back to sleep," Azula said coldly. She looked away from Ursa and folded her arms. "Since when do you care about me anyway? Don't you have to worry about Zuko? Or you're here just because he doesn't need you right now and you want to make sure I don't get into trouble?" Azula said acidly.

"Azula, I love you and I care about you. I know I don't show it to you enough, but I'm doing my best for you and your brother. I want to help you if something's bothering you. You don't have to keep it to yourself. You can tell me. " Ursa smiled encouragingly at her, urging her to say what was on her mind.

Her mother didn't usually speak like this to her. She was always so busy giving Zuko all the attention that she neglected her.

Azula stood there for a second. She couldn't sleep all night. It was really frustrating and she wasn't sure what to do. She thought maybe a breath of fresh air and a few minutes in the gardens would help, but her mom came out of nowhere and she had to go back to her room now. Azula didn't have anything to say to her and just wanted to go to bed and be left alone. She'd be fine just by herself and she'd fall asleep eventually. It's horrible. I just want to sleep, but I can't. I hate this and I don't need her. I never did and I never will. She was about to go back to her room, but she thought how she'll stay in her bed for hours, struggling to catch some sleep, all alone. As much as Azula wanted to avoid her mother, she admitted trying again to sleep would be really hard and unpleasant. Maybe even more unpleasant than spending time with the woman that, no matter what Azula did, wouldn't appreciate her and would only criticize her and complain how she was mean to her favourite child. Azula didn't know why her mother pretended to care now and there was nothing she could do to help anyway, but it was better to tell her the truth instead of being all alone. This is probably a bad decision and I might end up regretting it, but here we go.

"I can't fall asleep. I've been trying for hours, but I can't," Azula told Ursa.

"It happens sometimes. I can't sleep either. Would you like us to go to the garden for a while?" Ursa said.

Azula looked away again. She still wasn't sure she wanted to be in her presence. It wasn't nice to be mom's least favourite child, but she had no trouble with that. Azula didn't need anyone. She did great just by herself. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to go for a walk outside, since she wanted to do that anyway. However, even though at first she would have preferred to be alone, perhaps it'd be good to have some company.

"Alright," she said.

Ursa smiled at her again.

"Come on," the princess said, a hint of joyfulness in her voice.

As they entered the garden, Azula felt the gentle wind on her skin. It was warm and pleasant outside. The bright stars were sparkling on the dark sky. She looked at the scenery overhead for a few moments.

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Ursa asked.

"I guess," Azula replied in a neutral voice.

They walked a few meters to the pond and set down. Minutes passed without either of them saying anything. Azula looked at her reflection in the water. In the darkness, she barely saw the dark circles under her eyes, but they were there. She frowned. I ought to get some sleep, but the problem is I don't feel tired at all. She looked tired though, because she struggled to sleep and she could see it in her face.

After sometime, Ursa finally began speaking.

"I'm sorry I haven't been a good mother. I haven't given you enough attention and I haven't told you how much I love you enough times. It's just… It's hard to raise two kids at the same time-"

"Yes, because I'm so mean and horrible and Zuko is so great," Azula cut her off.

"Azula, I never said that."

"But you mean it," her daughter replied, looking her in the eye.

"I don't. I know I left you the impression I prefer him over you, but that's not true. You're both amazing children and I love you equally. I admit I spent more time with him, but that's because your father isn't giving him any attention."

"Don't blame father," Azula said infuriated. "If Zuko would be good enough to deserve his love he'd get it. He doesn't deserve your love either."

Ursa was surprised and outraged that Azula spoke like that about her brother. She opened her mouth to tell her how awful it was to treat Zuko that way, but stopped, feeling her anger dissipate. It was mean to say something like that, but Azula only thought these things because she didn't feel loved enough. That was why she wanted to be better than Zuko at everything-so she'd be appreciated by her parents. Ozai had a very bad influence on her. He turned her against Zuko and made her see him and everyone who wasn't perfect as a failure. Azula was a wonderful child and the only thing her father did was give her bad examples, cultivate negative thoughts and feelings inside her and turn her into a competitive and hateful person. He had too many expectations and put too much pressure on her and, to be honest, he didn't even love her. It hurt Ursa to admit this, but it was true. Ozai loved neither of his kids nor anyone else in his family. He didn't even love Ursa. They had an arranged marriage just so he and Azulon could be in control of Avatar Roku's bloodline. But this wasn't about her. It was about Azula. She needed to know her mother cared about her and was proud of her.

"Azula, I'm sorry your father has so many expectations and induces you to feel so much anger and hate. I know it's very frustrating, but I'm here for you."

"What are you talking about? Dad's great and he teaches me to be the best. How is that bad?" Azula said, but a hint of doubt made its way into her mind. She hated to admit it, but sometimes she got tired and it became hard to catch her breath struggling to be the perfect child. I am perfect, I shouldn't listen to her. Dad wants what's best for me. He wouldn't have so many expectations if he didn't think I am up to the challenge. It's his way of showing how capable he thinks I am to do anything I have to. Azula wanted to believe these things, she really did, but she couldn't dismiss the thought that her mother was right. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself mom just wanted her to be nice to Zuko, she couldn't. Something in her voice, in her eyes told Azula she actually… cared. She was angry to think this stuff about dad, but, deep down, she knew it to be true. This made her really angry and also sad.

"I shouldn't have let him influence you like this. I know you're suffering and it's exhausting to try to be flawless everyday. I let you down, Azula, but I'll make it up to you," Ursa said, putting her hand on Azula's.

Azula didn't want to say anything bad about her father. She loved him and he loved her, but, for the first time in her life, she felt the need to say what was on her mind. She just couldn't hold back her thoughts, regardless of how much she tried. She felt weak and miserable and she despised it. I… I've never seen mom like this. It's the first time she actually wants to talk to me and know how I feel. She actually seems to be honest…

Azula slid her hand from under Ursa's. Then, she put her head in her hands, staring blankly at the pond.

"Sometimes it's… really hard. I do my best to please dad, but it's never enough," Azula said.

Ursa than unexpectedly hugged her tightly. Azula stared in surprise for a couple of seconds before she embraced her mother as well.

"I think you're great the way you are. You don't need to prove anything to me. I love you so much and I'll prove that to you more often," Ursa promised.

"Thanks, mom," Azula whispered.

They let go and just sat there in silence. Azula didn't know how much time they spent at the pond. It might have been minutes or hours, she had no idea. However, as time passed by, Azula gradually lost awareness of her surroundings. She was unable to concentrate on anything as the sight before her eyes became blurry. Soon, it was very hard to keep her eyes open. Her eyelashes slowly closed, everything turning black as she finally drifted off to sleep. Azula propped her body against her mother's arm.

Ursa gently put her hands around her daughter's waist and placed her on her lap.

In the few remaining seconds of consciousness before Azula fell asleep, she felt her mother gently caress her on the top of her head. This brought a smile on her face as she felt really calm and relaxed, but also happy.

Mom loves me after all… she thought.

[rabble-dabble]

Pink Diamond. Rose Quartz.

I see a lot of people who slander both these names. A lot of people being mad at Pink Diamond, mostly, for abandoning Spinel in the garden. But I hate that people seem to forget that Pink was, at the very least, abused herself. And that isn't any excuse, nor is it any reason for her to commit mistakes like that, but you do have to wonder.

How many times did White Diamond nitpick at everything Pink did, at how silly or unruely she was being? Telling her awful things about how she should act, and how awful she was at being a diamond?

How many times did Blue Diamond make Pink cry, of making her feel awful for things that were in no way mistakes or bad? How many times did she yell at her for doing things like bringing little organic creatures she cared for, or being 'disobedient'?

How many times did Yellow physically hurt Pink, tugging harshly on her arm, or away from things she didn't want touched, or, god forbid, punishing her? Would she have used her powers on her like she did at Blue?

How many times was she locked in that tower? How many hours, days, years? Why did they isolate her, taking away her pearl, her friend, then giving her a new cleaned-slate one? How many times was she laughed at, trying to be serious, or how many times was she pushed away because it meant nothing to any of them?

This was straight up abuse. You can't tell me that, applied to parental or friend relationships, you would believe this wasn't sighs of abuse or manipulation. This is so clear to me that Pink suffered so much abuse; isolation, manipulation, emotionally and possibly physically abuse that of course Pink has no other influence nor any other mindset at what to do at all with other people. If you grow up with bad influences, with a consant negative mindset and no direct outside influence from better people or situations, then obviously there's a good chance you form that mindset you were set around. It's no wonder and completely understandable that Pink Diamond was a bad person until she allowed change and was around a better environment to change into a better person.

Yet, people still seemed pissed that she was a bad person. Absolutely. You have a right to be. She was.

But that's the thing. She was. Pink Diamond was a bad person. Pink Diamond did bad things. Rose Quartz made mistakes. The important thing to take from Rose was that she made herself a better person, learned from Pearl and Garnet and Amythest and Greg about love and being a good person who listened, who cared for each other, who collaberated on making things better or just being better. I bet you that there are people out there who were bad or not good people, and grew to be better. I know I was. I wouldn't exactly say I was the best person ever. I know I was mean and horrible and whatever other words there are to equal my younger self. But the important thing is that I changed, with the help of better people and a better environment, and that I am not confined to the past; I take full responsibility for my mistakes, and I handled them in whatever way was right to me, but I also take full responsibility for myself now, and now I am a better person living in better relationships and better environments. I'm still learning, but that's good because at least I'm making that effort.

If you keep dwelling on the past of Pink Diamond, and use her to define who Rose Quartz was by the time she had Steven, I feel like you're ignoring the parts that made her that way and the part where she became better. If you kept dwelling on the past of someone who used to be a bad-minded person, then you're never going to notice how they've learned and grown. Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz did some bad shit and made some shitty mistakes. We know, it's been there for the entire time. It's not a surprise there's more that she's done we haven't seen. We've been shown how she started off and how she ended.

But please remember she changed. She might not have made it better, but she made herself better. And from where she had started, I'd say she did a great fucking job.

[candices-lagrangian]

There's actually two things I wanna write about but one I super can't just because it'd ruin a suprise and I don't know if you do read the posts I make on this blog (which you are allowed to do lol)

I just wanna talk about like problematic faves and like internet culture around thorny people for a bit cus so like I've really really gotten into sewerslvt her music resonates with me it like brings me to tears in fact it has made me ugly cry fully ugly cry. It hits my heart and sends my synapses haywire its so good. I listen to it high. I listened to it when I was rolling. I listen to it sober.

The artist however is mired in controversy, she's trans so she gets the worst awful shit from 4chan and being a kinda experimental artist /my/ loves her music but hates her and brigaged her a lot. But she's done some fairly shitty things like titling an album the nword when she was an edgy teenager

And when I had the inception of needing to write about it I was like. Fuck can't we just like accept no one is perfect and especially trans women like the fact she's fucked up in the past resonates with me and through her music its part of what makes it so good but then I stopped and thought a bit and like an edgy phase is one thing but I'm kind of just ignoring like the bad thing here. And so like yeah I defo think is bad and I don't mean to seem like I thought it was okay I just thought it was in the past leave it be and eh probably not.

But I do think something deeply intrinsic to her work is the idea of deep complexity within someone what resonates in her work is the inner sadness the deepest regret for the hurt caused in a life, it's not an album title or a horribly poor taste choice of name but the deeper like horror of being alive.

I'm not making sense. Hold on

So like I've spoken before about the regret I feel simply for being alive. I've spoken about how my existence is a burden and taking up physical space even alone in my apartment is a horrible thing to do. "Waste of space" is an idea thrown around but it's also exactly how I feel deep down. And her music gets it. Her music runs through my body and vibrates telling me it's okay I'm not alone people feel like this all the time.

I think this is what led me to ugly cry when I listened to her album released after her late girlfriend killed herself. I saw so much of my emotions in her and then I saw exactly what she went through by losing someone she loved. And I felt that.

I suddenly realised if I lost you I'd I'd I don't even know what I'd do. I don't think I'd move for weeks fuck.

It's not the first time someone problematic has been a huge part of my artistic life obviously brand new was a huge influence on me and well I started liking them so that my groomer would think I was cool. I think that's why I don't listen to them anymore

I want to try and get out why I like sewerslvt so much but I'm not sure how to word it fully other than like truly being something different it just works in a way I can't describe and whilst I don't think everything she's done is good or right I think growing up online especially on 4chan and being trans fucks with you. A lot. And losing your lover, especially to suicide, well I can't even imagine.

I do treat this as a diary by it's interesting to me I address you by second person pronouns as if they're meant for you. Talking to you is so natural that I think it's just easier than being abstract I guess. I guess you could really be anyone but it is you in my head it's you I'm taking to even if you don't read these

I've been doing okay recently oh that's one other thing I wanted to just get out I guess is that when doing daylio I've been doing okey recently, good even. And everytime I check my mood I'm suprised and it feels weird it's not worse. Like I feel almost magnetically pulled to say I'm doing worse than I am and I don't because I want it to be useful but it's weird I want myself to feel worse. I don't know what that's about I guess.

I can't wait to see you good lord

[cyanwings]

i'm sorry you aren't feeling good, my bean! 33, 20, 18, 2, and 1

@jimmy-valmer

It’s okay! I mean, it sucks big time cause I feel like a truck ran over me from the body aches but I’ve handled worse. I’m a WARRIOR!!!

ON TO THE MIGHTY MEMESS~!!!

ANIME QUESTIONS MEME - Accepting!

1. best anime you’ve watched

So for the record, I’m excluding “Avatar: The Last Airbender” & (2003) “Teen Titans” shows cause people consider them animes when they’re only anime influenced so they’re out. But, this is SO hard! It’s like picking my children, it just feels impossible to do! Though, if I HAD to pick just one, it would have to be…… ( 2003) Kino’s Journey!

Why? Well, let’s ride right into the world of “Kino’s Journey” or in it’s original title “Kino no Tabi.”

“ The world is not beautiful, there fore it is.”

Let’s start with the story, which tells of the journey of a traveler named Kino and their motorcycle, Hermes, while they visit a long range of countries as they meet different people along the way. The actual fact is: there isn’t one solid story but 12 short stories that link together not by episode order but by events. And yet the fact that each one of this stories manages to give a deeper meaning than the whole plots from many animes amazes me till no end! Kino finds herself in the midst of these societies - some of which have downright appalling practices. Each episode approaches a theme of society, like censoring, violence, communication problems, right or wrong, the ability some people have to bite the hand that just feds them, and so on. And every time I watch each one, I found myself enjoying this series more than I should have.  

As Kino travels throughout the world and becomes acquainted with the people who inhabit it, it becomes clear that each of her encounters is essentially a separate journey into the labyrinth that is the human psyche to explore one of the many elements that make it up. The issues touched upon in the series ranges from the tendencies of humans to blindly believe in prophecies to the consequences of not having a self-conscious.

There is a wide range of characters as expected from an anime that tells about travels all over the world. While some of them are forgettable, some of them also stay in your mind. Although it is clear that neither Kino nor Hermes is the main focus of the series, together they play an essential role in its series. 

In terms of being a likeable character, Kino has become my favorite anime character ever! They inspire me in so many ways and I’m always glued to the screen every time their role comes into play. Although they appear apathetic at first, they’re a caring and understanding person. Kino travels through different countries to experience their customs and understand the citizens, but they never stay longer than three days, as they’re afraid of settling down, and would decrease of being a traveler. They’re also intelligent, skillful, extremely wise for someone so young and still as unpredictable as a teen could be. Though not fond of killing, they will do so if necessary without feeling remorse. Especially, towards those who attack them or the innocent. Kino has truly become one of the most unique characters I’ve ever seen.

Hermes, Kino’s talking motorcycle, acts as the perfect companion to his owner. Not only are his conversations with Kino very enjoyable to listen to due to the his humour, the series also allows for further exploration on his character. I won’t lie that I found it odd that we were suppose to just roll with the fact that he speaks but as the show grows over time, you do learn to accept it and that’s not the most unusual thing you’ll be seeing in the series either. He’s also the closest thing that Kino has to a friend and it just makes their relationship heartwarming a lot of the time. In addition, considering the theme of the series is the nature of humanity, his presence as a non-human makes their discussions even more interesting. You have no idea if he’s truly real or just in Kino’s head. But, whatever the case may be, he’s a fun character to journey with!

The dub is honestly one of the best that I’ve heard and I’m usually REALLY picky when it comes to English audio in anime. It was done at A.D.V films, which are the people responsible for other great dubs like “Princess Tutu”, and they do an AMAZING job!

Kelli Collins voicing Kino was the highlight of the entire dub! Her acting glues you into her role to her character and you’re just amazed of how well she fits the Kino. Especially, giving the young traveler a sense of maturity to such a young teen. It’s a shame she hasn’t been active since then and didn’t return for the reboot of the series. ( Even though it was a disaster so maybe it was for the best. ) Kino’s voice actress succeeds as the perfect person to voice such a outstanding character and how she brings her to life. I honestly can’t even picture anyone else to play the role but her. Hermes on the other hand is a hit or miss with viewers. Cynthia Martinez voicing Hermes comes off with a cartoonish boyish voice who I could definitely see annoying it’s viewers.  But to me? It honestly works! The way Hermes asks certain questions and their responses makes sense that they act childish or ask very out-looking questions of the situations at hand. Not not say he’s immature. He’s actually the voice of reason but, Cynthia shows great promise with the role. And you’ll see why once you go into this series head on.

Overall this series holds a special place in my heart. It doesn’t have that nasty fan service or anything too over the top like a Shōnen show but, it helped me get a better understanding on how humanity works and even thinks at times. In life, we don’t know which path to take but that’s the journey of it. You just get up and travel to find out what’s up ahead for you. To see the world for what it is with all it’s good and bad parts. Kino searches for life’s answers, life’s questions, and the interpretations connected to them. Destination is a state of mind; Drift along for the ride~!

2. worst anime you’ve watched

Oh gawd, this is just torture! Just when I think I can finally be rid of trash like this I have to go back and look in the bin again lmao

Let’s see…. I think I would have to say…. “ Master of Martial Hearts.” Why didn’t I say the famous “School Days?” I could but I wanted to do a different hate this time since this one made me beyond pissed off! “School Days” at least had the main lead get what’s coming to him cause we all know the douche bad deserved what was coming to him so I was fine with the insane out come. But this? HELL NO!

I found this series out by amazing reviewer, JesuOtaku, back when Youtube was starting to get popular and I always agreed with her reviews. I’m SO glad I saw her review first before stumbling upon this nasty series. First, we got under aged girls, and women in general, getting their clothes completely ripped apart as they fight one another cause why not? Screw plot! And it’s just an endless scenes of just wtf??!! I didn’t watch the series but I saw enough of it through her long review. AND…what pissed me off the most is the ending. Dear gawd! THE ENDING! This series only has 5 episodes but once you check out the last one? It deserves two middle fingers straight at it cause F*CK THIS SERIES!! No seriously, don’t even check it cause it’s just horrible. Just awful!! It’s just the worst anime to me and always will be!

    18. favorite villain

This is gonna sound strange but I instantly KNEW who my favorite villain was gonna be and I couldn’t be more ready! When there’s a great hero there’s also a great villain. Out of the horrible characters did I choose? Johan from (2004) “Monster.”

“ There’s nothing special about being born. Not a thing. Most of the universe is just death, nothing more. In this universe of ours, the birth of a new life on some corner of our planet is nothing but a tiny, insignificant flash. Death is a normal thing. So why live? ”

–Johan

The story focuses on Kenzo Tenma, a young Japanese doctor working at the Eisler Memorial Hospital during in Germany the 80′s. He is a very skilled highly brain surgeon. However, Tenma grows increasingly dissatisfied with the political bias of the hospital for treating it’s patients, and seizes his chance to change things after a strange massacre brings the twins Johan and Anna Liebert into his hospital.

Johan has a gunshot wound to the head and Anna keeps muttering about killing. Tenma decides to operate on Johan instead of a politician who arrived afterwards. Johan is saved, but the politician dies. After this Tenma loses his social standing, lost his promotion, basically everything, and not soon after that the twins escape. The top heads of the hospital are found dead the same night the twins escape. Tenma is then promoted to chef of surgeon.

After that the story advances to nine years later. A known criminal is found on the street, hit by a car. He comes under the care of Dr. Tenma, who observes him muttering about a “Monster.” Tenma extends his kindness to that criminal, and thus the criminal begins to open up to his doctor.

Following his trail to the construction site of a half finished building near the hospital, Tenma finds the man. The man, who has developed a sort of doctor-patient friendship with Dr. Tenma, warns him against coming closer, and pleads with him to run away. Tenma refuses, however, and the identity of the man holding the gun pointed at the criminal in the abandoned parking garage is revealed to be the boy whose life Tenma had saved nine years ago - Johan Liebert. Johan shoots the criminal, tells Tenma that he could never kill the man who had saved his life, and then walks off into the night while Tenma is still too shocked to stop him. I’m not gonna spoil anymore to the plot cause it’ll ruin the experience but WOW! What a series!

On the surface, Johan is a well-mannered, charismatic and compassionate young man. He possesses a favorable of traits and can easily overwhelm individuals with his seemingly flawless nature, as others describes him as being not of this world. This makes it easy for him to make new allies and manipulate them into doing various deeds for him. With such skill in creating this facade of perfection and pureness, Johan can hide his true motives with ease.

Johan delivers destruction and suffering to those who happen to fall prey to his schemes. Johan exhibits psychopathic tendencies. For example, most of his murders, both in childhood and adulthood, have been premeditated and calculated.

Johan often shows a complete disregard for life by pointing to his forehead, inviting Dr. Tenma to shoot him.

He also has a tendency to make his victims experience the worst possible loss and suffering rather than actually killing them himself;

Everyone NEEDS to check out “ Monster ” cause it does not disappoint! Even just check out just for it’s villain and the amazing english dub! Trust me, it’ll be one incredible wild ride!

  20. favorite costume/character design:

My girl, Mina Ashido from “My Hero Academia” / “Boku no Hero Academia”!

“The old you’s not going anywhere with that emo look on your face! If you overcome that gloomy self of yours… let me know. Or else I’ll start spreading rumors about high school debut man.”

—

Mina Ashido

    33. most underrated anime in your opinion

Since I already talked about “ Kino’s Journey” & “ Monster”, I’ll decide another great underrated anime people need to see and that’s “ Princess Tutu.”

“ May those who follow their fate be granted happiness; may those who defy it be granted glory.“ - Miss Edel

In a fairy tale come to life, the clumsy, out-going, and gentle Ahiru (“Duck” in the English Dub) seems like an unlikely protagonist. In reality, Ahiru is just as magical as the talking cats and crocodiles that inhabit her town—for Ahiru really is a duck! Transformed by the mysterious Drosselmeyer into a human girl, Ahiru soon learns the reason for her existence. Using her magical egg-shaped pendant, Ahiru can transform into Princess Tutu—a beautiful and talented ballet dancer whose dances relieve people of the turmoil in their hearts. With her newfound ability, Ahiru accepts the challenge of collecting the lost shards of her prince’s heart, for long ago he had shattered it in order to seal an evil raven away for all eternity.

Princess Tutu is a tale of heroes and their struggle against fate. Their beliefs, their feelings, and ultimately their actions will determine whether this fairy tale can reach its "happily ever after.”

The title may seem off putting to a lot since it sounds like some girly anime but don’t judge a book by it’s cover~! This series has so much going for it and it’s honestly just outstanding! It may be predictable at the beginning ( Had the same trouble with the first season of “Avatar: The Last Airbender” ) but, it becomes something you just never expected; A complex and tragedy story.

You honestly feel for every single one of these characters once their parts are given into play. And the fact that they use real classical music that compliments the dance scenes so well done. You feel the dramatic effect once our main leads come into the spotlight. The intense just rises from the music and for the dubbing too. I said back in my “Kino’s Journey” part of the ask that this was dubbed by A.D.V. Films and it’s one of my favorites ever! It’s not just one or two actors that shine, every single person portrays their characters with flying colors. I was just amazed of how incredibly well done they did!

I could go on and on about the characters but they’re all such a surprise that I rather not spoil it. This is genuinely a heartwarming show to experience for yourself. Classical music, beautifully choreographed dances, and memorable characters make for an experience worth having in all of Princess Tutu’s world. A modern fairy tale for the ages.

[old-long-john]

(1/8)Oh my good golly gosh darn, Laura!!!! I would drown in your words if I could. That bit from your unfinished fic, I'm in awe. I am completely smitten with your interpretation of Silver. I wish I could articulate a response to your answers besides !!!!! (Also you're a saint for humoring me.) I could listen and talk to you about John Silver all day. You touched on some really good points in previous answers that I didn't acknowledge, so I'd like to address some of them now because wow.

You do such a good job unpacking the minutiae in each scene, but then I feel the need to further explicate your meta because you bring up so many brilliant points. 1.“Funny that Silver’s learnt so much shit from Flint, except that allowing yourself to be blinded to rationality and truths is a ruinous mistake.” God this ties in so well to our discussion of Silver believing his own bullshit. It’s almost as though he learned the wrong lesson from Flint and became more accomplished at lying to himself as the story goes on. Or perhaps those untruths just kept piling up. 

So very true. Honestly, I think so much of it is due to Silver letting himself get too comfortable in the little bubble he’d created for himself. And I feel so awful for him, because it was always going to have to pop in the end. He’s always been so good at reading people and at manipulating situations for his own gain, and he seemed to be incredibly honest with himself (and others) about his own failings and limitations, and those things are fine when nobody depends on you and you don’t depend on anybody else. But as soon as he developed loyalties and relationships, and with them wants and needs that he couldn’t provide for himself alone (love and friendship and respect), it suddenly wasn’t very convenient to be honest with himself about his own shortcomings or the things which the only two members of the John Silver’s People Club would value as more important than him. Because I completely believe he valued(/still values?) them more than anything else in the entire world. It’s such a horrible imbalance to face honestly and accept.

2.“Not much slips by Flint” lmao except a big cache full of gems on his own damn ship. Sorry I just had to bring that up. I feel like that was one of those leaps of faith the show expects us to take, and I just can’t. I still can’t believe Flint didn’t know the cache was on board the Walrus.

Mm, I know what you mean. Though I can make it work in my own head. Flint is such a micro-manager, but he has been far more relaxed this season in general. I mean, he went off on his little Fortress B&B break with Eleanor and trusted Silver to make everything work in his absence, with no plan given. But that’s part of the problem. Even if Silver was wrong about Flint’s investment in their friendship, and in his assertion that it was only a convenience insofar as it helped him to use Silver to have things done his way…Flint kind of still did that, a little bit. Flint loves him, I have no doubt, but he put so much faith in the idea that Silver would see his way as right and fall in line that it made him blind to the daylight that was growing between them. He was still doing it on that damn island when he was talking to Dooley. I can buy that he didn’t know the chest was on board, because he truly hadn’t made room in his head for the possibility that Silver would go against him in that way. So he let his plan fall into place, as his plans always fell into place with Silver by his side, without noticing that Silver wasn’t with him in the way he thought. Poor Flint. Like we said, speaking of masters of blinding oneself to dangerous truths…

3.“I wonder though how much he was motivated by pride in that moment, or anger, or even just vulnerability.” Honestly Laura just let me rEST. You have a Flint-like way of cutting straight to the heart of a scene or action. We (you) covered Silver’s vulnerability (god so vulnerable–remember when he left the hilltop when Flint asked about his past? He sounded SO young and broken as he went gosh. I’m pretty emotional over his emotions.) but I really want to address the others. Because I actually had some thoughts concerning his pride. He always made a point to set himself apart from the men and claim freedom from Flint’s influence (“You will account for me;” “I don’t believe in him”). I think once there was a break in their relationship (once daylight could seep between them) all Billy’s and Hands’s warnings fueled his determination perhaps to disprove them or maybe just to prove to himself that he can still hold his own with Flint and not be moved, even to the point of ignoring logic (John, why :’( ). And I’m thinking these conflicting, complex emotions feed into each other? Like maybe the anger also stems from the vulnerability, the perceived betrayal–is a reaction to being hurt. Anger is an easy emotion, and to someone who is new to emotions like Silver, I imagine it’s simpler to embrace. I mean, remember his face at the end of the episode? He’s so in love (romantic, platonic, whatever I don’t care); he’s in awe of this thing between them. This is his first (at least that we see) important relationship. The feelings are mutual, that’s what he says, and for him to feel like Flint broke his first foray into attachment, of course he’s going to be hurt. 

I suddenly have that scene from Pride and Prejudice playing in the back of my mind and it’s the worst. (”Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty…”, “My pride?”, “…in admitting scruples about our relationship…”, “…from the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realise that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.” *cue sexual tension so thick you could spread it on toast*) Oh, pride. You know, come to think of it, we were told right at the beginning of the episode that pride should not be a thing that ought to come between them at this point, and I imagine that wasn’t accidental. 

I think you’re completely right about the influence of Billy and Hands’s words. However that pride is framed (either being for Silver’s own peace of mind, or to prove the point to them), having that ‘mistake’ seen by them, and commented on constantly, must have had some effect on his impulse to prove he could even the score and show just how very invulnerable he really was to Flint. I think he’s probably almost as angry with them for pointing it out and making it ‘a thing’ as he is with Flint for giving rise to it. I’ve wondered a lot, actually, just how this season would have gone without the corrupting influence of Hands. He really has been an evil little snake, whispering the things that should only ever have been thought by Silver, not said aloud. I suppose that was his purpose really. To give voice to those things that we as the audience needed to hear, but which wouldn’t normally be spoken. He’s almost been as much a narrative device to show Silver’s state of mind as those S3 dreams were for Flint. 

What you say about Silver’s complex emotions feeding into easier ones, like anger, sounds exactly right too. I’ve been kind of viewing Silver as a bit of a teenager in a lot of respects this season, and that fits in with that view. Flint was totally his first foray into attachment, yeah, and Silver does definitely love him in his way - he’s basically experiencing his first break up, and it’s a brutal, world-shattering one. He’s so inexperienced with feelings (seemingly deliberately, as one of those suddenly inconvenient lines of defence - fuck do I empathise with him there), and so like a teenager his reaction to big feelings that he doesn’t know how to quantify or cope with is to boil them down to easier ones, like anger and hurt, and to express them through spite and cruelty and self-pity. He’s a goddamn mess, but I don’t think he’d know how to stop everything from spiralling, even if he wanted to. Flint might though, if he’d only stop raging long enough to listen to him. 

(And don’t even get me started on Luke Arnold and his freakish ability to de-age himself by about 10 years in the blink of an eye. He’s looked and sounded so young several times this season, and every single time it’s broken me. I could write a whole essay just on that.)

One final thought I had regarding the narrative of Flint and Silver’s relationship is that though they frame it as the war vs Madi, as soon as Flint took the cache, the conflict became him vs Madi. And the fandom had some compelling arguments that the writers weren’t going to be that predictable, but they really were and. That’s probably the most disappointing. Like I didn’t find the episode disappointing but this season as a whole, while not bad, has not been up to parr. Anyway sorry for the incoherent jumble. But I truly love how you process Silver. 

I’ve had this thought too. All of last week I was worrying that there would be no rug-pull and that their division really would be as simple as it seemed, and I was ready to be so disappointed by that…but then episode 9 was so damn good that I kind of forgot to be annoyed. And I still can’t quite find it in me to pick holes yet. I don’t know how it will all stand up to rewatches, but I agree with you, I think. In comparison to most tv, S4 has still been something special (in my eyes), but there have definitely been things that seemed a little rushed or contrived. I suppose the writers felt that they didn’t have enough story left for two more seasons, but what they had was still too much for just one. Perhaps a final season of 12 or 15 episodes would have worked a little better, and given all the storylines and relationships a little more space to breathe. As it stands though, the thing I’ve always loved most about this show is the characters, and I think for the most part they’ve been as well written and thoughtfully developed this season as in the past three, so I’m willing to overlook a few more bumps in the storytelling than normal. And I’m just so glad that the pieces have finally fallen into place for everyone else to ‘see’ Silver again too, because it’s started to feel a little lonely in the John Silver Defence Squad lately. 

This got ENORMOUS. But I’ve had fun answering it! I am not ready to let these pirates go. :( I think they’re going to live in my head for a very, very long time. (I’m at least 40% John Silver at this point. Maybe more.) Someone carve ‘Know no shame’ on my tombstone, please.

[oumakokichi]

This probably sounds random, but is it possible to maybe draw some parallels between ndrv3's games and hunger games? I know they were most likely not part of the inspiration, but still. Also I'm asking in part because of the Gifted System which, like the prison setting, is only mentioned once in the prologue and that's it. Is it possible that it has some connection to shsl hunt, maybe?

I don’t think it’s random, anon! When thinking about “a killinggame reality show” or more like “a killing game put on for sick entertainment,”the Hunger Games naturally comes to mind. Its rise into pop fiction as an iconof social and political commentary has been pretty impressive in recent years,and it’s true that the Hunger Games is now one of those names that’s almostimpossible for people to not know about on this kind of subject, in addition toBattle Royale and a few others.

I’m not sure if Kodaka intentionally borrowed from the HungerGames or not, considering it is western media we’re talking about, butconsidering how huge the craze got and the relative popularity of the movies(even if the movies missed the point of the books significantly…), it’s atleast possible. And even if it’s not the case, it’s still possible to draw someparallels regardless, because drawing parallels or differences between similarpoints in fiction is what analysis is all about!

In the Hunger Games, we have a pretty explicitly createdfuture dystopian society. The Capitol reigns supreme, the people there live inluxury and splendor with so much abundant excess that it’s absolutelymind-boggling, and meanwhile the people in the districts toil and struggle toget what they need for basic living necessities while providing labor. TheHunger Games themselves are a punishment and constant reminder of the districts’attempt at rebellion, and they have been continuing for so long that they arejust kind of accepted as a horrible but ordinary fact of life. They go unquestioned by the time Katniss is enteredinto them, because questioning the Capitol is precisely what the districts feelgot them into this mess in the first place.

Compared to ndrv3, we know relatively little aboutworld-building. Where the Hunger Games is meant as straightforwardsociopolitical commentary meets a tale of drama, action, and rebellion, ndrv3is clearly meant to have sociopolitical commentary as well, but also is on amuch more meta scale. The Hunger Games isn’t a mystery, it’s a linear storywith linear plot progression; ndrv3 is a mystery with meta elements.

We don’t know much about ndrv3’s world beyond what we canglean from remember lights, from Ouma’s and Tsumugi’s speeches, and from whatlittle bits and pieces the characters actually get to see and check with theirown two eyes. What we do know is that the outside world is pretty undeniablymessed up. Everything about the surface world being a hellish wasteland withalmost no capacity for living creatures seems to be pretty true.

Both the scene in Chapter 5, where the characters check thiswith their own two eyes, and the secret mini-game route ending where all thecharacters can go to the outside world without ever participating in thekilling game (if you can get through Platforming Hell for 10 Hours) give usinsight into the fact that when the door is open and the characters check withtheir own two eyes, the world they see is undeniably horrible. It’s “hell,” asthey emphasize many times.

We don’t get to see much beyond a CG or two of the sky onfire and the atmosphere and general worldview looking even worse than whenJunko’s Remnants of Despair were just causing anarchy and chaos, but the factthat the ndrv3 characters literally passed out unconscious suggests that it waseither a huge shock or the atmosphere was so bad they were literally runningout of clean oxygen before Ouma closed the door. So there’s no way around thefact that the outside world, the view that the characters are getting even inthe mini-game ending, is god-awful,no matter how Tsumugi tries to kind of dodge the issue or pretend otherwiselater on.

Most of what else we know besides this fact is closer toguesswork, because there’s an undeniable web of truth vs. lies in ndrv3, andtrying to distinguish facts from misleads is extremely tricky. But given whatTsumugi tells us in Chapter 6, we can at least try to guess at what might betrue.

The fact that the killing game is supposedly in its 53rdseason and that it’s undeniably a staple of “fiction” and “entertainment” is, Ithink, probably true. Given that ndrv3 deals with fiction vs. reality as itsoverarching theme, and given the ways in which fiction is shown to impactreality, I think the likelihood of the DR franchise existing in the ndrv3universe for propaganda and implementing a society in which this kind of sick,twisted entertainment is possible I very high.

Many people have questioned the ndrv3 ending by saying “howcould such a show be put in place,” “why would people like it or sign up forit,” etc., but I think the exact point of the show having gone on for so manyseasons is precisely to emphasize the fact that it’s become normalized. It’s not supposed to be anactual, legitimately “fun” show. There’s nothing fun at all about the horriblenature of the game they’re all in, as Ouma points out plenty of times. Thereason the show exists is precisely because ndrv3 society is likely very, very not normal, given the state of theoutside world. It’s a fair guess to make that, like with the Hunger Games,ndrv3 society is probably in some sort of post-apocalyptic state.

Things like killing games, torture, and brutality aren’ttaken as normal at first glance. No one looks at these things and enjoys them usually.The point of ndrv3 is that media itself can be used to normalize and influencesociety itself, and that anything,literally anything, can seem normal or a fact of everyday life when everydaylife is pretty much garbage all around.

I’ve made a few theories on what I think the truth of thendrv3 epilogue is, and I still think that a “mixture” of both Tsumugi’smastermind confession and the things we actually see in the remember lights andabout the SHSL Hunt are probably the best bet. If a catastrophe on the scale ofthe meteor shower really did happen, society was bound to be completely turnedupside down by it.

Given Miu’s lines in the prologue, talent likely does exist in the ndrv3 universe, evenif dr1 and sdr2 are either fictional or so far back in the past that they’resold and marketed as fictional stories for the sake of propaganda. Talentitself seems to be key here: either those with SHSL talents became so otheredand scapegoated by the rest of society that they were literally hunted down andforced into forgetting their talents, only to remember them again for the sakeof the show, or…well, my own theory is a little bit trickier.

But given how much emphasis there is on those without talentbeing “good for nothing” and literally people who “wouldn’t be missed” even ifthey were killed on screen, I feel like that sense of worthlessness and lack ofmotivation and will to live on is itself a very pivotal part of ndrv3. Thescenes with “Makoto” in Chapter 6 clearly illustrate that feeling isolated,feeling “lesser than” those around you, feeling completely, 100% disposable isa very central part of understanding what talent-based society does to people.

This has always been a thing in DR, teased at more subtly byNaegi’s hesitation that no one will like him or listen to him at Hope’s Peakbecause he got in based on a ticket raffle instead of any “real talent,” andthen brought far more into focus with Hinata in sdr2. There has always been asort of social commentary in the DR franchise about the societal pressure toconform to ridiculous and extreme ideas of success and talent in Japan, andgiven that that’s been a core thing Kodaka likes to keep coming back to, I feellike it’s more natural to guess that ndrv3 is about a bunch of “normies” forcedinto these situations by people withSHSL talents, rather than that they all had real SHSL talents the entire timebut were persecuted and hunted down by…well, normal people.

If ndrv3’s killing game show is truly something that hasbecome as normalized and constant a part of society and “entertainment” as theHunger Games, then it follows that it would also be intentionally normalizedand that propaganda for it would exist specifically as some kind of “punishment.”

In a post-apocalyptic society where talent is everything andonly the best and the brightest can reach the top, those who “refuse” to adhereto these ridiculous extremes or objective are either caught up in the killinggame willingly, because they themselves have bought into the whole “talentlesspeople have worthless lives, it’d be better if I could have even a chance atbeing talented” propaganda, or forcibly, because really, whether they knowabout the participation date or all the details of what they’re getting into isa small fact.

Most of this is, of course, just guesswork and theorizing,because the ending of ndrv3 is so intentionally open-ended where the HungerGames’ had to come to a definite conclusion in order to reach the end ofKatniss’ story, and the end of the rebellion per se. But I feel like there’sstill plenty of room to view the two series as having a considerable amount ofsimilarities.

Both of them are undeniably about the harsh reality of aworld in which children are put on the spot to suffer, for instance. Ndrv3talks bluntly and honestly about the brutality of killing games and those whowatch them for entertainment. Ouma in particular loves to call out the audiencewatching the broadcast for this, saying frequently how he’s sure they’re “havingso much fun,” talking about how they “probably can’t help themselves.” TheHunger Games has this very similar vibe when it comes to the Capitol: media andentertainment is such a constant, everyday part of normalizing and propagatingviolence that many of the citizens in the Capitol don’t even have badintentions, they’re just complacent.

While the Hunger Games undeniably criticizes citizens withinthe Capitol for being complicit in the system of violence by sitting by andwatching the games and doing absolutely nothing to change the status quo, ndrv3takes it a little further, and makes the audience of the broadcast and theplayer themselves feel distinctly uncomfortable, forcing them to ask themselveswhy a killing game is a necessary form of entertainment at all.

The intended target audience is different, and by virtue ofbeing less meta, the Hunger Games’ message is taken as less controversialbecause it’s not really aimed at the reader per se—but the basic intent isthere. Enjoyment and consumption of violent media is questioned, and there’s adistinct feeling in both series that sitting back and partaking in these thingswithout thinking critically is a mistake.

To the people watching the games, whether it’s the HungerGames or the killing game broadcast, everything is just a story on the screen.The audience is encouraged to get invested in who they want to survive,potential relationship dynamics between characters, and the drama and suspenseof wondering just what’s going to happen next. They can sit back, think of itas a fun ride, and ultimately, it doesn’t really affect them at the end of theday.

But to the participants themselves, the ride is very, veryreal, and the impact and meaning changes drastically, because they themselvesare living it all out. What the audience might think of as a casual orinteresting show with no real lasting impression on them is actually theirlives at stake. Something “fictional” can actually be very real to the peoplein question going through it, and to say that fiction has no effect on media isto ignore that media can be used to provoke very real, lasting consequences insociety.

This was really fun to write about, and I hope I got mypoints across! Whether or not Kodaka actually intended to reference the HungerGames with ndrv3, it’s entirely possible to still draw conclusions between thetwo of them. Considering they both deal with very similar themes of violence inmedia, of a complacent society which consumes that entertainment, and with apotentially post-apocalyptic society which itself caused this upheaval andsocial change, it’s only natural that people would notice these similarities andwant to discuss them.

And well, given how frequently DR references or borrows fromother series, I’d say the possibility of it being intentional isn’t zero, atthe very least.