#( otherwise i'm pretty easy going when it come to threads

[deciessomnia]

What’s the best way to start a thread with you!

Hello anon! The best way to start a thread with me? Well there writing a starter and tagging me in it, sending in a meme, or if you prefer plotting can always drop my DMs and we can work something out~

as for memes tag HERE. there really aren't that many under here due to me not really reblogging much when it come to it, lol.

[earlgraytay]

The Author's Darling

So I follow a lot of people who post a lot about OC/self-insert positivity. And that's genuinely great. I love people's OCs and self-inserts. But occasionally, I will see someone, in an attempt to Defend The Honour of OCs and self-inserts, defend a particular kind of writing mistake. And that pisses me off, because it does everyone a disservice.

There are plenty of people who write OCs and self-inserts who do not make this writing mistake, and equating the two is unfair to every OC writer who works hard at their craft. There are also plenty of people who write canon-character-only fanfic or original fic who do make this mistake-- and that hurts both them and their potential readers.

The mistake I'm talking about? Writing a sort of character I'm going to call an Author's Darling.

I'm going to talk about what Author's Darlings are, why they're bad, how you can avoid writing one, and what an Author's Darling isn't. I put a cut in this post, because it's long.

What is an Author's Darling?

An Author's Darling is a character who cannot fail at anything that matters to the author of their story.

What this looks like in practice depends on the author-- different authors prioritize different things. Some authors think their Darling should be stone-cold badasses and never lose a fight. other authors are fine with their Darlings getting knocked out every time they try to throw a punch, but would be very upset if their Darling got rejected romantically.

Plenty of characters succeed at most things they try. Superman wins most of the fights he takes on, but he's not necessarily a Darling. But if you look at a character and you can say, "oh, this character would never lose a fight", or "everyone loves this character and would never get mad at them"? You've got an Author's Darling on your hands.

And- especially in fandom- a character can be a Darling in the hands of one author and a perfectly fine character in the hands of another. Steve Rogers/Captain America is an example of a character who gets Darling-ified a lot. Captain America is supposed to be a shining example of The Best that humanity has to offer- he's virtuous, strong, brave, and oh so pretty. It's easy to fall into the trap of making him incapable of failing at whatever you want him to do, whether that's "punching a lot of Nazis" or "supporting Bucky in his recovery". But a lot of writers manage to thread the needle and write Cap as the lovable, flawed person he's supposed to be.

Why are Author's Darlings bad?

Well, two reasons:

Writing an Author's Darling is a really good way to give yourself writer's block, especially when it comes to the plot. If your character can't fail at anything important, this means that it's really hard to build tension. If your character is going to automatically succeed at anything that's important to the plot, all you're writing is "and then they win, and then they win, and then they win". It can get pretty monotonous pretty quickly, especially if you're writing genre fiction. You can run out of ideas, or your inner critic can go "this isn't how stories work???? the FUCK???" and block your creative flow. If your character can't fail at anything- important or not- it's hard to come up with a good story for them at all. You know how sometimes you get a character rattling around your head but you can't get a plot for them at all? One of the first steps in fixing that is making sure you're not writing an Author's Darling.

Writing an Author's Darling makes people not want to read your work. Now, look. I know everyone says "you should write for yourself, and screw anyone who says otherwise!" But let's be honest here: it sucks to spend hours working on a piece of writing, post it, and then get, like, 2 hits and no kudos, or 1 tumblr like from your friend who likes everything that crosses their dash. It's incredibly demoralizing. Author's Darlings are one of the big factors that make people stop reading a story. As soon as a reader gets the sense that the protagonist can't screw up- that they're "too perfect"- the tension in the story is gone. There's no reason for them to keep reading, because they know the character's just going to Press The Win Button And Win. So they'll click out without saying anything, and you'll wonder why no one's reading your fic.

What isn't an Author's Darling?

This section is haunted by the ghost of Mary Sue. If you're reading this list and you're new to fandom/young, you might wonder why I'm calling out certain specific things; this is a fandom war you missed, don't worry about it.

An Author's Darling is not a character of any specific gender. Male, female, and nonbinary characters can all be Author's Darlings.

An Author's Darling is not necessarily an OC. In the current fandom climate, it's way more likely that a Darling will be a 35-year-old canon male character the writer calls "babygirl".

An Author's Darling is not necessarily a self-insert, but it's really easy to make a self-insert into a Darling. There's a reason people recommend that newbie writers avoid self-inserts- it can be really hard to write a character based on yourself that screws up something important. It takes a lot of vulnerability and courage to write, and it's not something you want to show everyone.

An Author's Darling is not an "overpowered" character or a "cool" character. Your character can have sixteen katanas and do air dashes and still not be a Darling- and your character can be a powerless human in a superhero setting and be the biggest Darling to ever Darling. Having "too many" powers or standing out "too much" in the setting is often a symptom of a Darling- if you don't want your character to fail at anything important, and being The Coolest Person In The Room is important to you, you're going to make your Darling overpowered and good at everything. But it's not the thing that makes an Author's Darling bad.

An Author's Darling is not a 'perfect' character, or a character without flaws. There's a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram, don't get me wrong... but you can load up a character with "flaws" that don't matter to you. A lot of dudebro male writers, for example, will make their Darlings emotionally constipated, mean, and Bad At Relationships. These genuinely are character flaws... but these writers don't give a flying fuck about the character's relationships. They're happy to let their Darling fail at this stuff to prove he's FLAWED!!!- but try and make them write a fight scene their Darling loses, and they'll break out in hives.

Why should I care? Writing is supposed to be fun, and writing characters failing is not fun for me.

Writing is a craft. It is no different from knitting a sweater, making a stop-motion film, or trimming a bonsai. There are ways to do it well, and there are ways to do it poorly.

It can be fun and rewarding to knit a shitty sock with holes in the heel where you forgot how the pattern works and weird lumps in the calf. It is more fun and rewarding to get good enough at knitting that you knit socks you can wear.

Similarly, it can be fun and rewarding to deliberately write stories about overpowered Author's Darlings that are boring to read for anyone who isn't you. But it is more fun and rewarding to get good enough at writing that you write stories other people will want to read.

And you know, maybe you don't care about that. Everyone needs a hobby that they're bad at and have no interest in getting better at; it keeps you humble. Maybe writing is yours.

But plenty of writers do care. And tarring every writer who writes OCs and self-inserts with the same brush- the brush of "this is supposed to be fun! we're writing deliberately bad things! yay!"- is an insult to anyone who writes OCs and cares about their craft.

If you want to write well, you should be aware of what an Author's Darling is, and if possible, you should try to avoid writing them. If you don't care about writing well, that's fine- but please avoid implying that every OC or self-insert character is badly written in this particular way.

[mcrcki]

here i come with another MASSIVE event plotting / starter call (this time with over 20 characters bc who even am i) !! before i get too much into event stuff, i just wanna put up some housekeeping things so i'm not just repeating myself over and over in the discord : i will be dropping almost all of my pre-event threads. meaning, i will only be keeping the thread if it is an active plot that needs to be continued because we aren't at a place to infer the ending. i am just so utterly overwhelmed with my number of drafts that i really need to just start fresh, so i'll be using this as my chance to spam the heck out of y'all's calls and get way more threads that i actually have muse for. i'm sorry if we had a thread you really wanted to continue, i just need a fresh start. now for housekeeping for my call, as always this will be capped. i wanna write with everyone but i can't if i get a million requests from one person so!! the cap is three starters per writer!! blind date starters will not count towards that cap. otherwise, please LIKE for plotting messages, and REPLY for starters (pls specify muses unless previously discussed!!)!

in the meantime, if you wanna see what my clowns are wearing, please follow this link to my pinterest :))

alani tiure | star wars | blind date w. cami o'connell ( 3 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : imma be so for real and say that they think they're absolutely too good for this lmao, their dad is a crime lord in the city, and really they're just here to take advantage of some free drinks and maybe check in on some clients. her date is going to have to be okay with her being slightly stuck up but will absolutely be down for some dancing despite it. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sofia robbin sloan torres, ellie williams, cami o'connell

beatrice | over the garden wall | date w. wirt ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : going with her favorite boy loser, wirt. definitely here just for the free party and to do something fun, now that she's human again she's taking advantage of all the things they missed out on as a bird. will definitely be here to make friends, they're a little rude at times but i promise they're kind when you get past the kind of rude exterior !!! down for shenanigans !! potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : xiao chiye

branwen | a court of thorns and roses | blind date w. enola holmes ( 1 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : winnie LOVES THIS, she hasn't gotten to have fun in pretty dresses in ages, she was still young the last time they were able to have any kind of formal party so they're really enjoying this. she wants to see everything this party has to offer so she'll be dragging her date around everywhere, wanting to take it all in potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : he xuan

daniela dimitrescu | resident evil | blind date w. jeremy smith ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : ok tbh, daniela only came to this and signed up for a blind date to possibly grab an easy snack. they're a man-eating monster idk what anyone expected here. but tbh, once they saw the girl she's actually simping over (and will not make a move yet for one reason or another) they're going to be flirting and going so far to make her jealous, it doesn't matter with who tbh. also open to some absolute chaos if you wanna do something Bad potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for murder purposes)

starters : myri tiure, henry creel

danika fendyr | crescent city | flying solo ( 3 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : listen danika like.. just got here, she's just getting used to the city and her memories again with her friends, since so much happened back home. she's spending the majority of her time crashing her bestie's date, for various reasons, but will be out on the floor dancing and drinking as much as she wants, enjoying the hell out of a free party potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : bryce quinlan, apple caramela, hunt athalar

elain archeron | a court of thorns and roses | date w. lucien vanserra ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : this is elain's first ball in the city, and she's very much looking forward to a night where she can just dress up in a beautiful dress and dance with her husband. things have been... rough with her family unit so she's just happy to let loose a little bit and enjoy everyone's company and dance the night away potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : lu junyi, lucien vanserra

evangeline ennar | throne of glass | blind date w. choi nam ra ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : evangeline grew up in a high fantasy world, getting dressed up in fancy clothes for a ball is all she could've hoped for coming here, and now she's old enough to really enjoy it, she is going to be having the best time for real. will be helping her mom glare at her not dad, but other than that, she would love some friends so just dance around with all night potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : choi nam ra, aedion ashryver

kaya dura | star wars | blind date w. lola flemming ( 2 / 4 )

they/she pronouns : kaya is not really in the dating and dancing mood, they are still getting over their ex after a very hard breakup, where her ex killed her and all that fun stuff. so, they're really trying to like.. get themselves out there and get over her, so they signed up for this blind date and are forcing themselves out into public again. will probably get drunk for the first time and just want to forget everything to have fun potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : kaiden monsula, kasil monsula

keelan cardulo | fourth wing | date w. mira sorrengail ( 0 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : lowkey her and mira's first public appearance as a couple, especially after everything that happened back home that resulted in keelan's death, she is very much looking forward to getting to dance with their girlfriend and just enjoy that. is a bit anti social if they don't know you, so when mira is inevitably somewhere else, find them hanging to the shadows potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters :

leia organa | star wars | date w. han solo ( 3 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : mom and dad night out!!! leia's a mom of six now, and while ya know four of the six are adults with some having children of their own, and the other 2 are less than six months old, she just wants to have a little fun. the past year has been.. hard. and despite being the president and having to be here for this ball, she would so much rather be home right now, avoiding all the memories that valentine's day now brings out in her mind. last year was the worst night of her life and she will in fact be drinking a lot to forget all that bastilla did a year ago. #thereturnoffloorgana potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : din djarin, ahsoka tano, winter celchu

louise vance | harry potter | date w. thea hughes ( 4 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : a party???? hell yeah lou is gonna be there, they love this whole vibe. will 100% be testing the limits of security and trying to ride the t rex skeletons and any other shenanigans they can get into. they're here with their best friend in the whole world, thea, and they're definitely just friends, if you see them slow dancing really close that's just what besties do potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : thea hughes, emmeline vance, bucky barnes, willie

marlene mckinnon | harry potter | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : marlene lowkey is working this, and will be having fun but trying to stay focused on her job. she's unaware currently so, they'll just be hanging around with whoever is kind of hiding in the outskirts of the party, could absolutely be convinced to dance/will flirt given the chance, but mostly just here to have a fun day at work potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : dora tonks, esther mckinnon

morrigan | a court of thorns and roses | date w. cassandra dimitrescu ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : this thing with cassandra has been a bit of a whirlwind romance, and she's found herself really swept up in the other, and will absolutely be spending a lot of her time in their arms. but considering how her family life has been lately, she will also be checking in on family and doing what she can to make sure reporters aren't going too wild with everything going on with rhys and her family. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : cassandra dimitrescu, rhysand

omega archeron | star wars | date w. kirei monsula ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : if i had a nickel for every time one of my muses is on a date with their best friend and convincing themselves it's not a date, i'd have 2 nickels-- anyways, omega will be here, fulfilling her role as senator archeron's messy as hell kid, and drunk as shit nearly getting kicked out for shenanigans around the maze, and also perhaps drunkenly making out with their best friend kirei that they've been pining after for years. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : hunter

rosemary winters | resident evil | flying solo ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : now for my girl that knows she's in love with her best friend but her best friend doesn't know her and is here with another girl!!!!! honestly rose will be in a corner getting so drunk, glaring daggers at mouse's date and wanting nothing more than to be the one dancing with them. please come try to drag them out of this slump they are sulking HARD potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : lyra ayala

rowena ravenclaw | harry potter | date w. hunter ( 1 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : rowena is uneasy after the last masquerade that happened in the city, and last valentine's day, and will be spending a fair amount of time at hunter's side until she realizes that this is actually safe, that things are normal and she can cut loose a little. will be spending a lot of time dancing and mingling, happy to talk to anyone who needs some friendly conversation, even if she may just info dump at you. is VERY excited that this is at the museum and may spend more time wandering the exhibits than actually dancing. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : arnold

sella palpatine | star wars | date w. allana solo ( 4 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : oh sella is LIVING FOR THIS. valentine's day is her fucking holiday and she will be making up for how hellish the last one was. considering the fact that her and allana have yet to have a single good date on a holiday, she is going to be spending as much time as possible making her girlfriend twirl her around the dance floor. if anyone needs a dancing partner, sella will also let you spin her :)) she is just here to get a little tipsy and enjoy all the love in the air potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : rey palpatine, steve rogers, sion val palpatine, allana solo

sophie hatter | howl's moving castle | date w. howl pendragon

she/they pronouns : once again, sophie has been dragged to one of these parties because their husband loves these things far more than she does. howl dressed them, and as long as he agreed to a babysitter, sophie agreed to come to this. they are not the biggest dancer, a bit too self conscious to put themselves out there like that, she doesn't like drawing attention to herself. which is difficult when your husband is wearing a glittery pink suit but... potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : cindy moon

sorrel blackbeak | throne of glass | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : i am planning on letting sorrel get their memories back during the event so she's going to be having a little bit of a time trying to find the rest of the thirteen and reunite now that her memories are back. once that's sorted though, she will be a little anti social but if someone asked her to dance, they're not one to say no. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : asterin blackbeak, manon blackbeak

tatum riley | scream '96 | blind date w. conrad fisher ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : tatum is just trying to put herself out there, to enjoy some good things in the city, even if she's a little on edge with just throwing herself into a blind date roulette, she knows she's gotta get out of her comfort zone so she's going to make the most of this party and enjoy the heck out of it. even if that means someone's gotta drive her ass home cause she's gonna be gone potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sam carpenter, jake wheeler

vesta starkos | star wars | blind date w. riley matthews ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : listen vesta is unaware and super normal right now, and she wants to dance with a pretty girl. even if she's a little sus of all the people who keep staring at her like they know her, they just wanna dance and have a little fun, to cut loose instead of thinking about school. is up for some shenanigans and drunken adventures if people are down potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : ramona flowers

victoria sutherland | twilight | date w. james witherdale ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : vic will never pass up an opportunity to dress sexy and dance on her mate, she has absolutely zero shame and does not care who is watching them. she also loves to use these events as a perfect little hunting ground. vic will probably be upset that it's not turning into a nightmare but, she can make it a nightmare if she really gets that bored. until then? she will be annoyingly hanging all over her mate all night. potential plots ➛ drinking (not alcohol) || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for a drink ;) )

starters : heidi volturi, bella swan

violet sorrengail | fourth wing | date w. xaden riorson ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : did violet show up to this ball 90 minutes late, looking very flushed? yes. is she going to talk about it at all? absolutely not, her siblings are here and her friends can infer what's going on. now that she's here, vi will be happy to dance and enjoy the party with her friends and just get a few moments of normalcy considering the ticking timebomb her life has turned into, she is going to be savoring any moment of normal young adulthood with her family and friends thank you potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sgaeyl, xaden riorson

[monarchisms]

"so, now that it seems that some of the worst of everything in regards to rooster teeth has come to light, what are you, tumblr user monarchisms, the user previously known as kingpattillo, gonna do next?": the post

[under a readmore because it's stupidly long]

so fucking much has happened over the past week, so i'm just typing all of this up to figure out what to do in future, both so that people who follow me are in the loop, and that i can help myself get some shit together. almost every day has been one gut punch after another, so i definitely won't get everything in one go, and can surely edit this if/when i change my mind on a couple of things, with some exceptions.

for now:

"do you still want to watch/listen to/make fan content for rt in general?" Oh Dear God No. i don't want the company to crash and burn, only because i want the people currently still there who aren't shitbags to get all the support they need and deserve, emotional support or otherwise. however, because of a series of totally avoidable errors made by the company, i don't feel bad about letting my first subscription end. whether i just cancel it immediately, or i let it lapse, i'm not sure yet, but yeah, after i get charged for this month, i'm not going to pay for my subscription anymore.

"does that also include achievement hunter?" kinda?????????? that's more complicated to me. monetarily, i won't support them because they're still under rooster teeth, so i won't keep my subscription for specifically them. i'd totally throw them some money if they're able to pull a drawfee and break from the company they were formed under and go independent, and i totally am not mad at other people if they keep the subscriptions specifically for AH. again, it's all complicated. even with everything involving them as a group, i'm still rooting for them. "any reasons why?" many, actually, but here's what it boils down to.

i feel like even with all the stumbles, AH has had better progress collectively since... i'd say since geoff stepped down, if not earlier than that, than rt has had in their almost 2 decades of existing. i don't have a concrete year for AH i can point to for where i feel like progress has really started rolling. i'm just going off of Vibes alone lol. what makes me still have hope in them includes (but is not limited to, since there's a lot of stuff i could have missed) all the twitlongers from the post team, as well as this tweet from jack:

and this tweet from fiona:

(honestly, their whole thread is very good, and i agree with their takes wholeheartedly)

almost every problem i had with AH has been covered in this 4 am vent post i made on the 17th, and the problems i still have actually seem to be on the mend. props to the individuals currently at AH who put in the effort to improve, not just collectively as achievement hunter, but also as their individuals selves. which brings me to my next point:

"what about geoff?"

this hurts to type, but fuck him! the lowest points (in my opinion) of AH were in what many (used to?) perceive as their golden age, approximately the years of 2012 to 2015 or so, all of which were under the time geoff was the AH bossman. if he wasn't the perpetrator of the toxic behavior of his main employees at the time, he was complicit in it for reasons i certainly won't/can't pinpoint because i don't know him personally. though, another tweet from fiona gives me at least one idea:

alongside all of that, there's the direct reply from kdin under geoff 's twitter apology that also makes me 🤨 at him, as well as as all of this from the woman who geoff mentioned in that one reddit post he made in 2020, (edit 10/22/22: and also the fact that his public twitter likes showed that his apology was disingenuous to begin with 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴), but everyone knows about all of that. if you didn't, then uh... genuinely, my bad :(

oof, speaking of kdin,

"what about her?"

it's pretty easy to sum up my thoughts on her now. basically, i still believe that she shouldn't have gotten through the traumatic events she endured at rt, and should 100% be financially compensated, and i also simultaneously believe that her videos during the tatsudoshi days are downright deplorable. it's one thing to use a slur or two (Which Is Still Objectively Bad, but solely in comparison, is easier to stomach and apologize for), but it's another to go on a fully bigoted rant that attacks multiple marginalized identities, regardless of if it was over 10 years ago. No Average 19-Year-Old Wouldn't Do That Unless They Were Bigoted As Fuck. even if she is better now, that never excuses her past actions.

...also, i personally thought the part of her apology that i could actually accept or not accept was mid as fuck, and blizz perfectly pointed out why:

so fuck her for those points specifically. she should still get paid fairly, though. everybody should.

"is that why you're still :/ about gavin?" precisely. the first day, i just thought kdin didn't see gavin's apology on twitter since she was getting swarmed with a billion notifications, and also just doesn't follow most of the AH crew these days. turns out her not responding to him seems more and more intentional each passing day, so whoops!

"so like, are you going to pirate the rt content you still enjoy(ed)?" Oh, Absolutely. for me specifically, i feel like the only thing i'm going to pirate with no remorse is rwby because i still want to see how the story ends. as for everything else i enjoyed pre-braggnarok:

1. with rvb, the only reason i fell out of love it was because of the lack of care given to zero. i still enjoyed that season overall, but how poorly it was treated by the higher ups killed my excitement for rvb. QvsA kinda hooked me, but considering that grif is voiced by geoff and appears in every episode, 😬

2. with the podcasts i personally listened to under rt, most of them got killed for me because gavin and/or geoff were involved (f**kface, anma, annual pass). i still want to listen to red web because trevor and alfredo are still good to me, but like AH, they're still under rt, so i still don't really feel good pirating that :(

2b. "but face jam's still cool, right?" no </3

like, genuine props to michael for actively improving himself as a person, both on and off camera, for many years now, and not excusing his own past shitty actions. i got no beef with him. however, i cannot continue to listen to face jam because of jordan. "wait, what? why?" well! jordan's own past behavior under rt animation was pretty Yikes. he was one of the people specifically called out by georden whitman (nomad of nowhere's creator) in his twitlonger. can't summarize anything here myself, so i just recommend you read the whole thing.

3. the shortest(?) reason: there's no need to pirate AH content because most of it is available for free on their youtube channels anyways. with stuff like sbi: meltdown, i'll just read the comments to see who got voted off for the remaining episodes that i won't watch. not the end of the world.

"but you still haven't answered: what are you gonna do right now?" i don't know!!!!! rt suddenly imploded bigger than usual, and i don't know where to take my art and gif-making skills next!! i'm kinda scared!!! that's where you guys come in. requests for those will be open forever (they always have been, but they're More Open Now), but currently, they not just extend to individual streamers like matt, jeremy, ray, and their friends (individual AH people included), they alsoextend to any major group or solo people i enjoy. you can feasibly see a drawfee gif from me! isn't that wild?

and finally: "how else can we support you, random internet person?"

i still don't know. i've never been in this position before!!! like, everything i've created, both related to and not related to rt/ah, will always be free forever, but like, if people just want to throw money my way to make my life a little more tolerable, i guess i have paypal????????? i dunno! i'll just have to figure all of that out as i go.

okay, bye again lol

[zaunseye]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? ━━ Well, I suppose my love for the character came first and foremost, but I had some ideas about him that I wanted to explore. I started out writing some fanfiction for him on AO3, but found that I really wanted to interact with other writers in the fandom, and roleplay is the most straightforward way to do that! I'm really enjoying it so far!

is there anything you don’t like to write? ━━ There's a few things I prefer not to roleplay, the first and foremost is Jilco. Sorry you will just never catch me doing anything concerning that. Another thing is Silco getting his way 100% of the time. I like there to be struggle in most aspects of his life and work. He doesn't make it easy on himself with his choices, and it gives me more to do in roleplay.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? ━━ I love writing Silco getting himself injured or in peril. He's delightfully stubborn, which usually ends up with him getting himself into some terrible situations, in canon and otherwise. I also really enjoy writing him being protective over those he cares about, because he expresses those emotions in such a unique way from other people.

how do you come up with headcanons? ━━ Usually I just get inspiration from a scenario I'm writing or a perspective I'm exploring. Silco makes his opinions pretty openly known in the show, which gives me a great base to start from. Another blessing of the great writing team on Arcane. So yeah, most of the time I just search for inspiration. Sometimes I turn to ask memes and quizzes, but other times I just think of it on my own.

do you write in silence or do you play music?  ━━ I have to have music on. I have entire playlists dedicated to characters I play, and Silco is no exception. His playlist mainly comprises of dark techno, industrial, and some alternative pop. It's mainly music that either matches his character or the vibe of The Last Drop under his reign. It just helps me get into his mindset with a touch more immersion.

do you plan your replies or wing them? ━━ I try to plan where I can, but also leave things loose enough that it doesn't feel like it's railroaded. I prefer to have heavy communication with my rp partner, and a general direction of where the thread is going. Goals, themes, tropes, etc etc. That being said, I also don't mind having a bit of improve for shorter form roleplay, where there's a paragraph or less to write at a time.

do you enjoy shipping?  ━━ With Silco? It depends. He's not exactly a very open person with his love since Vander, but it's not impossible. When he does form a bond with someone, it's usually deep and passionate, regardless of its type (platonic, romantic, familial, etc). I've had some interests, but really I wait for my rp partner to bring it up, because the last thing I'd want to do is overstep! Let's just say I'd be happy to explore it with the right people.

what’s your alias/name?  ━━ Zigg / Ziggy / Z

age? ━━ 30

birthday? ━━ June 4th

favorite color? ━━ neon green

favorite song? ━━ Too specific!! Here's a few:

Kill or Be Killed -- The Bloody Beetroots, Leafar Seyer Supermassive Black Hole -- Muse Cyka -- Russian Village Boys, Cosmo & Skoro CVNT -- Sophie Hunter Farben -- Orange Sector

last movie you watched? ━━ Batman: Ninja

last show you watched? ━━ Arcane

last song you listened to? ━━ Nature Calls - Iguana Death Cult

favorite food? ━━ tinola, corn chowder, pork schnitzel, japanese curry

favorite season? ━━ spring / fall

do you have a Tumblr best friend? ━━ I have several people on here who I consider close friends and great RP partners! @system-contact has been around my whole life as my closest friend, and I cherish them as someone I can always count on to be a well-versed and engaging rp partner. @bleedinghearth is a friend I've had for a while now, and I love their characters and originality, as well as their wicked humor. @jynxd has been wonderful to write with and get to know over the time I've spent in the Arcane RPC, and I love our little chats in DMs! @shimmerbeasts is a fantastic writing partner with a fun world to play in, and has been so kind and welcoming to me in the RPC, which I really appreciate. @ferinehuntress is a fun person with a wide range of characters, many of which I've had fun reading and writing with, and Panda's happy energy is just contagious.

tagged by :: @jynxd (tysm!) tagging :: anyone who wants to do this!

[crystalelemental]

Oh now that's interesting. 3* and 4* Field and Sprint candy is confirmed.

In general, I'm kinda stunned they'd even entertain the idea. When you look at the broad scope of the meta, field effects have been incredibly guarded, almost exclusively placed on limited pairs when we're not dealing with weather. This is a rather substantial change. We could see multiplicative field effects like Zones suddenly show up as part of the F2P meta. The same is true of Sprint; fast-ramping is the domain of limited pairs. More than likely, any F2P Sprint is going to get -1 cooldown or nothing, and instead focus on speed boosting. Which is still nice, mind. I think speed boosts are underrepresented in the meta and a pretty important option. Not everyone can just spam Free Moves Next, Adaman.

The real fun is...3*. 4* is expected, that's Lodge adjacent. But 3*? Those only happen in two scenarios: free story pairs with the first PML, and events like the NPC trainer classes they mysteriously stopped making. That's...honestly kind of exciting.

On the one hand, I loved the NPC trainer class additions. They were just little extras sprinkled into events, and I kinda loved the concept even if they never got to hard favorites among the trainer class designs (XY female ace trainer, my beloved). Seeing those come back would be ideal. These candy are going to be sparse, especially when contending with the other three types. New players will still need the main three, it's not like we'll get none of them. So getting event pairs that can be maxed out while the event is live is ideal; the candy is a backup, but not strictly necessary to use on them, to create a stockpile.

On the other hand, a new main story is going to pop up. Gacha won't just leave things without a main story. There will likely be a new OC rival/antagonist to face off against, and a whole thing going on. The Villain Arcs largely focused on powering up the free legendary pairs, but this new arc doesn't have anything to power up that isn't already receiving it. More than likely, it would be entirely new pairs, like in the PML arc. Some are calling for PML 2, I don't personally buy it. I played FEH, you can pick up and drop storylines whenever you want in gacha, but you have to keep potential threads open to jump back if needed. I think the announcement of PML 2 is just keeping options open, same as Giovanni hinting at another scheme. They aren't doind anything right away, but it's there if they need it later.

This opens up some options, which I hope we lean into. Man, we have got to fix the F2P situation for new regions. The only truly F2P pair in Galar is Hop. He's still the only fucking one. Not even a single BP pair to their name. This sucks, and there are a ton of missing characters from that region. A new arc with free story pairs would be a great chance to bring in options that otherwise aren't going to get anything, because they'd never sell as PokeFairs, and general pool spotlights are borderline dead. This would also solve for some of Paldea, which has approximately eighty gagillion characters running around; not all of them are PokeFair worthy. In fact, most of them aren't. Free pairs would be an easy way to add some options in.

On a personal level, my hopes for such additions would be:

Opal - I've accepted that she's not getting in otherwise, but Bede needs his mentor, he was completely alone in that Neo Champion event about connections and rivalries and it sucked. Bring in Opal.

Kabu - I'm just saying, he better have secondary Bug-type DPS. Like, actual secondary Bug type DPS. No pair in the game has that yet, let him be the first.

Katy - We're dying for Bug in this game. Good bug, I should specify.

Kofu - I don't like him, but this is definitely where he belongs.

Eri/Atticus - Look, you have to put in a few popular picks so people start playing for easy access, and these two are safe. Plus, free Fighting and Poison pairs, two of the types that most desperately need F2P options.

Chuck - We should also look backwards, at previous regions missing some people, and come together to agree that Chuck was never happening any other way. Just give him to me.

Cilan/Chili/Cress - It's what they deserve.

[diviinitatis]

tw // uncensored (because this isn't the clock app) talk of mental illness, addiction, eating disorders, and weight. read at your discretion

i do want to talk a bit about my writing and art and what i want to do with it-- i think it comes as no surprise that i actively want to explore and depict the uglier and darker sides of life, and a lot of it is coming from my own feelings and experiences and problems, but i remain terrified of coming across like i'm romanticizing it or actually romanticizing it, even by accident.

we're taking d'ablo in this example as he's my most outwardly fucked up character. yes there's the obvious drug abuse and alcoholism that i casually sprinkle into our threads and any writing i do with him, but to examine where this tendency is coming from is important to me. more than that, though, i especially want to talk about my depiction of his eating disorder, which, while restrictive, doesn't fall into an*rexia or b*limia (censoring these so they don't end up in tags or search function) but rather an EDNOS, or eating disorder not otherwise specified.

i've not made a post on its manifestation in d'ablo yet but i came to the realization some time ago that i was unintentionally writing him with adhd for years (surprise, i also have adhd), and accompanying that was his EDNOS. in d'ablo it manifests itself as "forgetting" to eat in several ways -- entering hyperfocus and not feeling the hunger cues, simply not getting any hunger cues because his body is used to starving, suppressing his appetite (both intentionally and by accident) with drugs, and not deriving any pleasure from the act of eating and frankly finding it a chore. all of that combines into not eating much-- when he does remember or bother to eat, his body often rejects it entirely and he has to go throw up.

so eating is not a pleasant experience for him, combining adhd and other pysiological factors including a very fast metabolism whose needs are not being met. d'ablo is underweight (at 5'11, weighing ~135 pounds)-- he's always cold, he's easy to throw, and even if he is a very pretty/attractive/whathaveyou man, his bones are visible: ribs, shoulders and shoulder blades, vertebrae. people worry about him, he's cranky, and he's weaker than he should be for a vampire his age and experience.

it's important to me to combine all of this, though, with the fact that d'ablo still lives his life. his eating disorder isn't supposed to be depicted as extreme and debilitating. he still goes to work, goes out, has sex, falls in love, fights, makes bad decisions, laughs. his life is affected, but not consumed by this sickness.

and this is where i get nervous, because to me it's so important to depict these things, but depicting them as a fact of life rather than a debilitating curse with a million disclaimers about how this is a bad thing is, in fandom and online spaces, equated to romanticizing it. that because d'ablo is still capable of happiness despite this sickness, i'm saying that it's totally fine and healthy to have an ednos, actually. people seem to think, or worse, genuinely believe, that if you depict an addict or a sick person not at rock bottom, or managing to cope with their disease (whether well or badly), that you're condoning it. when really, it's just a part of a very rich and multi-faceted life.

d'ablo doesn't need to be skeletal and bedridden and having his hair fall out for this to be a valid depiction of an eating disorder. i shouldn't be afraid that my writing and art will be misconstrued as romanticizing an illness just because i'm not depicting it at its ugliest. it's important to portray things at their extremes, but to me it's even more important to write about them in a more common, everyday setting, where maybe somebody else who is struggling with it may recognize it for what it is.

outside of that deep reason for depiction, though, it's fucked up that writers and artists feel the need to post a million disclaimers whenever they post something. there should be a rapport, sure-- something that's depicted inaccurately should be pointed out and hopefully the creator will be mature enough to take the feedback and fix it. i say innacurately, not "badly," because that is a subjective term-- people's experiences are different, and portraying something differently doesn't mean it's being portrayed badly (or even innacurately). care and research should go into depiction, but sometimes the depiction won't follow the research because people's experiences are individual and sometimes even non-academic, so much so that the creator isn't always held to taking the feedback they're being given.

so i'm going to try to push this. i'm going to try to work on being unapologetic in how i portray these uncomfortable subjects, and the fact that i portray them in the first place. i always have and will welcome feedback and i'll incorporate what i want/can, when i want/can. generally i think we should extend grace and the benefit of the doubt when we see something we don't like being portrayed, or if something is portrayed in a way we don't like. chances are, it's out of ignorance or a thought-out, well-researched, and careful decision that, just because you don't agree with it, didn't come from a place of malice. fandom and online spaces aren't fun when they're so militant, and they're just getting more and more restrictive and aggressive. i really don't know how to finish this post except by saying i'm tired of it

[melty-choco-bjd]

Edwardian-Inspired Doll Hats

This is cross-posted from my DoA thread for those of you who don’t use that site!

I really like the big, old-fashioned lady's hats with all the ruffles, bows, ribbons, and flowers, sort of like these (particularly #6 and #3), so I decided to try making one! I loosely followed this tutorial for 1/12 scale hats, except of course some things have to be changed for 1/4. I measured out my own pattern pieces. I am an absolute beginner myself when it comes to hatmaking and am mostly following someone else's guidelines. This is my first time making a hat (for dolls or otherwise). ☆ PREP: MATERIALS USED─── ⋆⋅☆ - secondhand fabric (satin, cotton) - secondhand accessories (lace, fabric rose, plastic pearls) - cardstock - hot glue - needle & thread This was intended to be a no-sew project, but halfway through I realized I needed something to line the inside of the main hat body, so I ended up sewing up a quick cotton lining.

☆ PREP: PLANNING THINGS OUT─── ⋆⋅☆ I started by sketching out my rough idea for the hat design; a simple hat with some lace, flowers, and beads, based on the materials I had available. I tried to visualize the structure to help me understand the pattern shapes I'd need to make.

Next up was making the pattern -- which took a little math but was still pretty easy. I had to make a circle freehand, so I used a ruler to make sort-of-equal lines to guide me. I measured an approximate distance for the brim on my doll's head, and the width of the hat inner hole / outer top, then used those measurements to make the pattern pieces.

I cut them out for testing and I ended up needing to redo them a few times.

Afterwards, I made a "final test copy" from cardstock and taped it together loosely to see how the scale looked on my doll, and to try out some accessory placements.

The main body ended up being too tall, so I took the cardstock model apart and trimmed it before moving on. ☆ WORKING ON THE ACTUAL HAT─── ⋆⋅☆ Now that I had a base out of cardstock, I moved on to gluing the fabric onto the main pieces. I was using this pretty blue fabric!

I mostly did this on my own, but after looking at the tutorial again I realized I basically did the same thing as them. I used hot glue for this process -- while it was drying I pushed it down with my fingers to keep it flat and to help keep things flush together.

Now that I had the main body pieces done, they looked like this:

At this point I realized I was going to need to find a way to line these pieces, or else you'd be able to see the glue-y parts underneath. I decided to make a second brim, cover it in fabric, and add lace to it, so I could glue the "bad" sides of both brims together to both hide the glue and add lace cleanly.

I also made a little lace bow out of the extra lace I had left over.

Next, I glued all the main pieces together. First the hat top and the side strip, and then the main brim to the little top-sidepiece combo.

This is when I stopped to sew the cotton inner lining and glued it inside, so I could later sandwich the sticking-out ends in between the "bad sides" of the two brim pieces.

Then I glued on the bottom brim piece, and the main piece was complete!

☆ ACCESSORIZING AND TRYING IT ON─── ⋆⋅☆ Finally, I placed on the beads, lace bow, and fabric flower, and glued them into place.

I think it came out surprisingly cute!

I tried it on my doll after, but it was a bit hard to get it to stay still and not fall off. It's likely because the head hole in the hat is a bit too small.

I was only able to get it to stay on a flat angle, but I intended it to be tilted a bit. I think it looks a bit silly flat, but I can't think of a way to fix it

Overall I think it came out really well, even if the fit isn't 100%. I'm definitely going to try making more hats in the future. I'd like to try a top hat, or a leather hat, maybe.

--

[ofparagade]

RULES

DISCLAIMER. Long story short, I own neither Commander Shepard nor Mass Effect. They both belong to bioware. I make zero profit off of this blog and am only here to have fun. nothing more, nothing less. I do, however, own all of my icons / gfx / promos / headcanons / etc. unless stated otherwise. In fact, for the time being I’ve been getting my screencaps from @masseffectcaps. So I'd greatly appreciate it if you neither stole them nor claimed them as your own considering I worked very hard on making all of them.

CALLOUTS. The whole purpose of callouts have more or less gotten waaaaay out of hand and I'm not even sure how I feel about them anymore tbqh. The reason I bring this up is because the whole purpose of a callout is have those who are, in fact, problematic make public apologies and learn from their mistakes. Nothing more, nothing less.

DNI. Please don't interact with me if you, yourself, are a genuinely problematic person. This includes being racist, ableist, sexist, LGBT-phobic, and a Nazi bootlicker. I also don't want to interact with people who think it's okay to ship minors with adults.

DNI. PEOPLE. Please don't interact with me if you support any of the following people: Ziro. I’m a pretty forgiving person but if problematic people tend to play the victim, refuse to acknowledge they’ve messed up, refuse to apologize, and refuse to learn from their mistakes then I want nothing to do with them. If you do, however, make a public apology and explain yourself then that's a whole other story.

DUPLICATES. Because of how complex Commander Shepard is as a character I’m 100% fine with interacting with other variations of them. Not only that but it’s pretty stinking easy to throw the mutliverse theory into Mass Effect with ease so there’s that!

FORMATTING. I’m strictly using BETA TEXT EDITOR + XKIT REWRITTEN. My original blog was created back in January 2022 but I remade this blog specifically on April 26, 2023. What this means is that I’m stuck using BTE + Xkit Rewritten. So if you’re not using BTE with me then I’m more than likely not going to be interacting with you. Sorry.

FOLLOWING. I only interact and follow mundanes who are 18+. Though I'm perfectly fine with non-mutuals sending headcanon asks, anonymous asks, and chatting with me OOC. Otherwise, I’m only going to interact with mutuals IC. It just makes my dash cleaner and easier to deal with.

INTERACTIONS. Memes, unprompted asks, open starters, and dash commentaries are the best way to interact with me. I’ve come to learn that I get bored / lose motivation quite easily and rather quickly when doing starter calls. So I prefer sending / receiving unprompted asks, memes, and making open starters as well as replying to them. Now if we plan on doing a specific thread or something then that’s one thing. So I will very seldom if ever be making starter calls and / or like my mutuals’ starter calls because of how easily bored and uninterested I get with them early on.

MAINS & EXCLUSIVES. I do practice mains & exclusives. Though I am extremely picky with whom I become mains or exclusives with. The number of dupes I will have of one character is up in the air right now so I'll stick with two to three mains per character for the time being. Exclusives, on the other hand, will be one per character. That is non-negotiable.

MUNDANE. Call me Shin! My pronouns are she / they. I’m 21+ years of age — 29 to be exact — and am demi-bi.  I suffer from severe GAD, with frequent paranoia episodes, and mild MDD so please be patient with me and my random mood swings and bouts of negativity.

MUN =/= MUSE. Mass Effect has a lot of shitty and problematic characters in the series and most of us don’t agree with their viewports. Kai Leng is canonically xenophobic, racist, and sexist. The Quarians created the Geth strictly for cheap labor only to then try and commit mass genocide when the Geth asked if they have a soul. TIM has a God Complex and is a manipulative bastard. With that being said, I’m fine with roleplaying with problematic characters just as long as you, the mun, are against their viewpoints. That’s all I ask.

MUSE. Do not take Commander Shepard lightly. Despite being “just human”, Shepard is the reason the entirety of the Alliance Military and everyone on the Citadel were able to fight off the Reapers. And while Damien is very much a Paragade he won’t hesitate in killing a bastard because of their problematic views. Case in point? Killing Gavin Archer for brutally torturing his brother physically, verbally, and emotionally. He also killed Udina and Kai Leng without hesitation for being … well … yeah. Long story short, don’t piss him off for he can and will go Renegade on your ass without second thought.

REBLOG KARMA. I don't practice reblog karma in the slightest. I’m perfectly fine with you reblogging musings, fanart, gifs, memes, music, PSAs, promos, and callouts from me. In fact, I encourage it. Just don’t reblog my ooc posts, headcanons, and threads without permission. You can like them all you want, just don’t reblog them.

SHIPPING. This blog is currently not open to shipping as of right now. The reason for this is because, in my take on things, Damien’s actually already in a relationship and is happily taken. I’ll be going into more detail with that on the blog in due time and actually plan on making several references to my fanfics throughout the entirety of my blog

VERSES. I don't really have any verses up and running yet minus my Mass Effect verses. But that's not gonna stop me from interacting with people. In fact, I encourage crossover threads and whatnot tbh! It doesn't help that Mass Effect has a relatively small RPC so there's that to also consider.

ADDITIONAL INFO. I can and will be updating these rules from time to time. But rest assured that I'll always be letting my followers know when I update them. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns then feel free to message me for I’ll 100% answer them to the best of my ability!

[ace-nlis]

How they met you & fell in love

a/n: This is the first time I decided to actually write something with the intention of posting it. I hope that whoever reads this enjoys it. I'm sorry if I've misspelled anything, English isn't my first language. I hope I did well for my first writing post >.<

WARNINGS: none apart from slight violence. Female reader. Cussing.

Otherwise; fluffy content.

(Y/n) - Your name

(L/n) - Last name

Like or repost if you enjoy <3

Akaashi:

When you first met him, you thought he was a pretty boy with a resting bitch face. He is an extremely straight forward 'say it how it is' type of person and you respected him for that because it isn’t always easy to just speak your mind upfront in this day and age. He didn’t really look all that friendly or approachable, but since you were friends with Bokuto you just had to suck it up and stick around. It was pretty awkward talking to him or even just being around him at first, until you realized that his exterior was an act and he’s a total softy when he isn’t trying to call Bo out on his bullshit. You found him to be an intriguing person, but also rather intimidating. He was peaceful, he didn’t talk all that much and kept to himself like a true introvert. You were the opposite, more of an ambivert type. You tried your best to befriend him, but little did you know that friendship would spiral into something else along the line.

After a while of being friends, Akaashi got red in the ears in your presence. He was easily flustered around you, and the both of you often tended to flirt and bicker as if it was second nature. The two of you in a room together never got boring. Everyone around you could tell the two of you were head over heels for each other. You thought the opposite though, you felt that the friendship was never going to progress into anything more and that your crush was meaningless because nothing would come of it. After being friends for several months, nearly reaching the 1 year milestone, you eventually started to distance yourself.

You always thought the way Akaashi acted around you was purely just because the two of you had a close bond as friends, nothing more, nothing less. Akaashi on the other hand was devastated when he noticed the drastic changes in the close bond you both shared. He noticed that whenever he walked into a room, you’d disappear. Whenever he tried to call you, you wouldn’t answer the phone and make up some excuse that you were busy. The poor guy felt like his sanity was hanging on a thread and all he wanted was to speak to you, figure out what he did wrong and at least go back to how things once were. One day, he cornered you in an empty classroom. His eyes seemed frantic and he made sure to trap you between his arms and leave no room for you to escape so he could get answers. “(Y/n), are you okay? Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”

It seemed like the questions that were wracking his brain kept tumbling out, and in an overwhelmed panic she stopped him. The next thing the both of them knew was that her lips were pressed to his. At first his eyes were wide and body was stiff with shock. He didn’t know how to respond, and he firmly believed that this was a dream. In her mind, she thought she had just made the biggest mistake of her life because he wasn’t responding to it, he was just standing there and embarrassment slowly started to flood her. Before she could pull away from him, his arms slackened and his hands slid down the wall beside her, eventually placing them on her hips and pulling her body flush against his while kissing her back feverishly. When the two pulled away, they were out of breath and their eyes had a dazed look in them as they locked eyes. He leaned his head against hers and sighed in relief, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he kept his eyes locked on hers. I think that’s when you both knew that there was no way in hell you’d let go of each other at any point in time because it really felt like you were meant to be together.

Oikawa:

You knew of Oikawa Tooru but you never actually wanted to be acquainted with him. To you he sounded like a total sleazebag, a player that loved breaking female students’ hearts left and right. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to bump into him on Valentines day after having to reject a poor freshman. When you bumped into Oikawa, he thought that you were another girl ready to confess to him due to the box of chocolates in your hands and a smirk instantly made its way onto his face as he reached over to take the box. Your immediate response was to slap his hand away. If looks could kill, he sure as hell would be more than 6 feet under because you were not up for anyone's bullshit. Oikawa gasped in shock and retracted his hand immediately with a pout. “Hey! I know you. You’re (L/n), hmm. Aren’t you a friend of Iwa? You know, you don’t have to be embarrassed about trying to confess to me. I always appreciate a new follower.”

A mix between a scoff and a laugh of disbelief made its way out of you as you immediately shoved the box of chocolates into your bag. “Wow, I knew you were vain but I guess I underestimated just how much. If you think I have any interest in an asshole like you then you must be smoking something. I have no interest in being one of your petty little toys that you hold on a string. I refuse to be one of your little puppets that follow you around to show my undying admiration for someone as shitty as you. No wonder he calls you Shittykawa. You truly are a self centered douche.”

Oikawa’s face was burning red with embarrassment as she pushed past him and continued going to her class. He was astonished, shocked beyond any words imaginary as he stood there and tried to process what had just happened. Eventually he was brought back to his senses when Iwaizumi smacked him over the head and told him to stop staring like a dumbass and get to practice. “Iwa, How do you know (L/n)?” He asked suddenly after they walked in silence for several minutes, which was very unlike Oikawa. “I’m in the majority of her classes and she lives a block away from me. Why?”

“She’s weird. I thought she was gonna confess and then she slapped my hand and called me a douche.” Oikawa said, his tone was completely flat for once and Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Yeah, well what do you expect? She has better things to do than fawn over you, Shittykawa.”

*Insert offended Oikawa noises here*

Needless to say, his first encounter with you was not exactly what he would’ve liked it to be. Slowly though he tried to fish more information out on you, he wanted to understand why you weren’t like the other girls who practically fell in love with him at first sight and why you were the way that you were in general. That meant that any time Iwaizumi would meet up with you at a park to study together or whenever you guys would spend any type of time together that Tooru would tag along. Teachers thought that you were having a blooming friendship with him though and much to your dismay you ended up getting partnered with him on a school project. You felt sick to the pit of your stomach because you truly didn’t want him to come to your home, but he kept insisting and you knew that there would be no point in trying to convince him otherwise so you gave in to his stubbornness.

You felt ashamed the moment he stepped through the front door, your parents were never home and you had to take care of your younger twin siblings. The house was a mess, and that was when he understood why you had such a cold persona around others. You wanted to distance yourself from people and push them away as much as possible in order for you to not have to go through the embarrassment of looking like a train wreck to everyone else in the circumstances that you were in as opposed to your usual well put together attitude. To your surprise though, he was patient. He jumped in on helping you clean, he even helped the twins with any homework questions they had in between working on your project together and showed no judgement. In fact, he gave you a look of understanding.

After that, you were able to tolerate him more and you allowed him to visit the twins more often while even bringing along his nephew for all of them to play together. He taught them how to play volleyball while also helping you in the kitchen when you needed it. He didn’t want to admit it, but he honestly fell in love with you because of how genuine you were. You guys flirted, but it was suffocating to him like all the other girls who flirted with him on a daily basis. He only had interest in you, and you bet your ass Iwa teased the shit out of him for it. Your project got an incredible score of 100% and the two of you celebrated together by playing some volleyball even though you were complete shit at it. He didn’t care though and had fun. You found yourselves hanging a lot more often, being around each other almost 24/7 and you even met his family at some point. They absolutely loved you, and so did he.

He tried to figure out how he’d confess to you, he wanted it to be special. He wanted it to be a moment the both of you would remember because he quite honestly couldn’t see him spending any of his time with any other girl apart from you. Of course he was extremely nervous and skeptical on how to approach it, it was a 50/50 chance of you liking him back. The thoughts left his mind when he heard your voice outside a local supermarket, asking someone to leave you alone and that immediately flipped a switch in his brain. He quickly tried to look for you and found you trying to tell some tipsy guy that you didn’t want anything to do with him to which he immediately went over with his hands tucked in his pocket.

“Hey (Y/n), everything okay?” he asked as he coldly stared at the man that had been harassing you. A quiet “Oh thank god” was whispered underneath your breath as you managed to force your way closer to Tooru. He immediately wrapped one arm around your waist and kept his eyes locked on the other older gentleman that had been bothering you. The guy smirked, “Oh nothing man, I was trying to have a chat with her and she got all bitchy. That’s all.” (Y/n) could feel his body language immediately became a lot more tense, but you quickly pulled at him and tried to evade the situation. “It’s not worth it, Tooru. Let’s just go, okay? We can get some milk bread and watch movies or something.”

“I don’t appreciate the way you talk about my (Y/n)-chan. In fact, I’d advise you to leave her alone before I make you regret even breathing the same air as her. Got that?” He spoke calmly as he gently nudged you out of the alleyway next to the store. “Hey, who the hell do you think you are? Huh? Can’t just take my woman like that, dude.” This is when you truly saw how angry Oikawa could get as all he did was throw a punch and the guy was down. You could only stare in shock at what had just unfolded in front of you. “If you ever talk about her like that again I swear I’ll make you regret you ever existed.” At that he tugged you along and when the two of you were a few blocks away you grabbed hold of his hand and inspected it. “You seriously didn’t have to go that far. I don’t care what a low life has to say about me, at least I don’t live in the streets and I’ve got a roof over my head.” He remained silent for a moment before latching his hand onto your wrist and pulling you into his chest. “I’d never let anyone do or say anything to hurt you. Remember that. I’m just sorry you had to witness me get like that. I’ll make it up to you though.”

“Oh? I think a date would be a pretty nice way to make it up to me since you insisted on calling me your (Y/n)-chan” you said, giving him a cheeky smile to which he could only reply with a teasing smirk. “Hm, seems only fair after I saved you as heroically as I did.”

“Whatever you say, douche”

*insert baffled Oikawa noises here*

[ikeromantic]

Uncomfortable Questions

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfiction occurring after the events of the romantic epilogue! Approx. 3000 words of fluff and stuff.

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: Friends and Frenemies

Miyake was nervous. He did his best to hide it. His job today was to stay with Lady Akechi, to keep her safe and happy. Normally, he’d consider it an easy task. A pretty girl, a new place to explore . . . but this was his Lord’s wife! And . . . other complications.

He swallowed.

“Do you want to go shopping too, Miyake? I see you’re wearing another of Sasuke’s t-shirts.” The lady smiled back at him as she asked.

“Nope! I’m good. I like this shirt. And the ninja took me out for some pants that fit too. I'm just here to keep you safe.” He glanced up at the tall tall buildings to their right and left. “Where, uh, do you want to go?”

Her shoulders sagged. “It’s not so much what I want to do as what I should. I need to stop by the clothing designer here - the place that hired me. To apologize for disappearing like I did.”

“Think they’ll be mad?”

“I hope not.” She mumbled something else, something Miyake didn’t catch.

“What was that?”

“Oh. Ah, just that I imagine they won’t be nearly as hard to apologize to as my family.”

Miyake nodded. Families were tough. He’d left his own to go serve Akechi, and never looked back. Not everyone could or would do that.

The lady stopped at a gift shop to pick up flowers for her former co-workers. Miyake didn’t let her lift a thing. Better safe than sorry. He even offered to carry her bag - her purse, she called it - but she wouldn’t let him.

Then they rode the train - which would have been fun if there’d been a seat for the lady. Standing, Miyake spent the whole time worried she might fall. Every little lurch made his jaw clench.

She seemed to notice his concern, and when they got off the train, stopped. “Miyake, I’m not that fragile. I don’t know what Mitsuhide threatened you with, but I promise, I’m perfectly capable of carrying things, walking, and standing on my own.” She laughed. “I’ve been doing it for years.”

“I know, my lady. But it just seemed like . . . in your uh, your state . . .” He gestured helplessly. Neither the lady nor his lord had said a word, and it seemed wrong to just put it out there before they did.

“My state?”

Miyake tried to hide behind the bouquets in his arms. “Ah, maybe it’s the wrong word. But hey! Isn’t that the shop you’re looking for?” It was a two-story building. A large sign hung above the double glass doors, with a spool of thread and a needle.

The lady turned. “Yep. That’s the place.” She squared her shoulders like a soldier going into battle. “Let’s do this.”

Grateful for the topic change, Miyake followed her across the street and inside.

The woman at the front counter recognized her immediately. Rather than anger, her face lit up with a big smile. “You’re ok!” She called out, “Hey ladies, our new hire just showed up six months late.”

Lady Akechi blushed deeply.

Three heads peered past the corner and then the other designers filed into the room. Besides the young lady at the counter that recognized Lady Akechi, there was an older woman with red cheeks and a round face, a short, thin girl with ponytails, and a tall woman that looked like she might arm-wrestle in her spare time.

There was a round of re-introductions between the five of them, hand shakes, and bows. Lady Akechi apologized several times, and then came the barrage of questions.

“Is this the guy you left us for,” one asked, coming over to inspect Miyake.

“N-no, he works for him though. Oh! And those flowers are for you.” She gestured for Miyake to hand them out.

He dutifully gave out the bouquets under the speculative stairs of four strange women.

“Huh,” said another. “So you found some rich guy and now you don’t need to work? Lucky!”

“This one’s pretty cute though,” the older lady said.

The short one with her ponytails smiled bashfully. She hid her smile behind her hand.

Lady Akechi stumbled over her words. “Oh - oh, I still work. I just do commissions now. And ah, ah, that’s Miyake.” She pointed to the older woman. “Miyake, this is Aiko.” She gestured to ponytail girl, “And Masako.” She nodded to the girl from the counter, “Takara,” and then to the tall woman, “And that’s Kei.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Miyake bowed. He felt himself blush under the weight of their gazes. He hoped this apology and leave-taking wouldn’t take too long, but that was a futile dream.

The women invited them out for tea, and promptly closed the shop. They walked, chattering together, to a cafe nearby.

Masako hung back to walk beside Miyake. She kept glancing up at him, shy but forward. After a block or so, she shoved a piece of paper into his hand and then hurried back up to join the other women.

Miyake looked at the paper. It had some numbers on it. Some sort of code? Was Masako a kunoichi? He studied the paper. Ten digits. Three numbers and a dash, three more numbers, a dash, and then four more numbers. The number 2 repeated. Huh.

He put it away when they got to the cafe. The place smelled strongly of coffee, a bitter beverage that people in this era seemed to enjoy. Miyake preferred tea. There were glass cabinets with sweets on display too. Things he didn’t even begin to recognize.

“What would you like,” lady Akechi asked. “I’m getting a cold coffee and some financiers.”

Aiko laughed at the expression on his face as he scrutinized the display. “You look like you’ve never been to a French bakery before.”

He nearly admitted he hadn’t, but he knew better than to give information away. Instead he just smiled. “It all looks so good. What do you recommend?”

Takara shrugged. “If you like sweets, the macarons are great. Otherwise, get a croissant or some brioche.”

“I like the crepes,” Mayako added.

He wound up getting the crepes and a tea. While the girls continued their chatter, now asking lady Akechi about her whirlwind romance and her future plans, he focused on his plate. Miyake prodded the food suspiciously. What was a crepe made of? What was in it and on it?

Miyake picked up the fork the way Sasuke taught him, cut off a piece of fluffy golden crepe and some of the fruit and poofy white stuff inside, and then stuck it in his mouth. The flavors hit him all at once. Sweet and buttery, the texture smooth as velvet, contrasting with the tart fruit.

“I think he likes it,” Aiko grinned.

“I know how to make crepes,” Mayako spoke up.

Takara elbowed her.

Kei laughed. “Men don’t usually order stuff like that here. Glad you’re not shy about what you like.”

Lady Akechi gave him a gentle pat on the arm. “He doesn’t go out for sweets often.”

Miyake nodded, feeling his cheeks flush again. Going into battle was easier than sitting through tea with a bunch of women, he thought.

When the ladies returned to their conversation, he felt safe enough to polish off the crepes, and order a second round. By that point, Aiko and Kei were giving lady Akechi tips on how to keep her man, and Miyake wished he could turn his ears off.

The conversation finally wound down, and the group returned to the clothier shop.

“You know,” Takara said, eyeing lady Akechi, “if you’re going to be around at least a few weeks, I have a commission or two you could pick up. Since you’re still working.”

“I’d love that!” The two of them headed to the back of the shop, and Miyake followed.

Masako gestured for him to stop. “That’s not for customers.”

“I’m not a customer.” He stopped though. From here, he could see lady Akechi and the other woman chatting beside some bundles of fabric.

The girl squinted up at him. She was, he thought, exceptionally short for a grown woman. “Are you some kind of mafia guy? Yakuza? Are you in a gang?”

“What?” Miyake’s eyes widened.

“I won’t tell anyone. Just me and Kei thought, the way you follow her around, you must be hired muscle.”

“I work for Lord Akechi,” he said slowly. “He is not . . . any of those things. I think.”

Masako frowned. “Fine. Don’t tell me. At least, don’t tell me yet.” She tugged at a ponytail, pulling it over one eye. “Maybe you can tell me when you . . . when you call me.”

From behind them, Kei snorted. “That is not how you flirt, Masako. You sound like a salesman.”

“I do not!” The shorter girl bristled. “Just because I’m not pushy like you!”

“Guys like pushy. Makes it easy for them to say yes.” She was standing pretty close, Miyake realized. She’d come up behind him and now he was trapped between the two women. He turned to look at Kei.

This was the wrong thing to do.

When he turned, she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. It was . . . not a bad kiss. She was clearly experienced. Still, he gently pushed her away.

“See? Now if I gave him my number, you know he would call me.” Kei smiled smugly.

Masako looked furious. “I can’t believe you just did that!”

Mikaye understood now that he was the cause of this bizarre argument. A few days ago, he might have enjoyed being fought over by two attractive women. Not today. Today, he knew who he was going to marry and it surely wasn’t either of them. “I’m sorry ladies. I am already spoken for.”

“Oh sure! All the hot guys already have girlfriends.” Masako threw her hands up.

Kei chuckled. “What she doesn’t know, hm?”

“I ah, appreciate that, but -” He looked down the hall toward lady Akechi. She was lifting one of the cloth bundles. “My lady, no!” Miyake pushed past Masako. He lunged into range and grabbed the cloth out of her hands.

“What are you doing?” She looked stunned. A few bits of thread still stuck to her fingers.

Miyake grimaced. “You can’t be picking things like this up, my lady. It’s not safe for the baby.”

The four shop women all gasped at the same time. “You’re pregnant?” The question was a chorus of sharp disapproval to happy surprise.

Lady Akechi’s hands went to her hips. “No! Not, not as far as I know. Miyake?” One eye brow lifted and the expression was so like Mitsuhide’s that Miyake nearly handed back the bundle of cloth, certain he was wrong.

But he knew she had to be with child. Otherwise the dates wouldn't add up. “I - sorry my lady. I know you didn’t announce it yet.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Miyake took a deep breath. “Well. Yesterday, you know how I got quizzed by those professors?”

“Mhmmm.”

“They said I’m going to marry your daughter. Lord Akechi’s daughter, I mean. So I assumed . . .”

The four women burst into a whole new round of excited questions and now Miyake was the focus.

Lady Akechi came to his rescue. “I think Miyake’s just being . . . metaphorical. Yes. Not literal. Because I’m not pregnant. And anyway, ah, it really is time for us to go! But I’ll be back in a few weeks with the evening gown you commissioned. Thanks for that!”

Saying goodbye still took half an hour more, but they did get out and back onto the street alone.

Miyake snuck a look at his lord’s woman. She looked angry. Or worried. Maybe both. She kept touching her belly as if to be sure there was nothing new there.

“I’m not pregnant,” she said after they’d walked a little way back toward the train station. “I think I’d be able to tell. I mean, Mitsuhide and I, we don’t . . . you know, we just . . . but it takes awhile to make a baby, right? Like, lots and lots of . . .”

He swallowed. “Uh, sure? I mean, I knew some girls that got babies after one night with a man, but, I don’t know?”

“But not me. I'd know,” she said more firmly. “But . . . let’s stop at a pharmacy before we go home.”

***

Mitsuhide was having a fantastic day. He and Sasuke were riding the train out to the university. He tried to memorize the map of train stations, and even took a snapshot of it on his phone before Sasuke showed him how to download the ‘app.’

“Are you planning on traveling places on your own? I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Mitsuhide smiled obliquely. “I don’t know yet. But that is the problem for me here. I don’t know many things.”

After a moment, the ninja nodded. “And that is also why you agreed to come with me today.”

“Yes.”

Sasuke bowed slightly. “It would be my honor to teach you whatever you want to learn in this modern day.”

“You have me at a disadvantage but do not seek to exploit it?” One white eyebrow lifted in a gesture his fiancee was mimicking half a city away.

“No. I wouldn’t do that to the man my modern era bestie loves.”

Mitsuhide pressed. “This, despite working for my sworn enemies, Takeda and Uesugi?”

Sasuke’s shoulders tensed. “Yes. And technically, they are Nobunaga’s sworn enemies, not yours. And in this day, they are dead.”

“I see. You are desperately balancing your allegiances and rationalizing your actions to suit the situation and your preferred outcome. Are you sure you aren’t interested in a job?”

“You aren’t in a position to hire me.” Sasuke’s mouth quirked into what Mitsuhide was realizing was his smile.

The warlord nodded. “True. Perhaps I will ask again when we return home. Which will be . . .”

Sasuke flushed. “I am not certain. Perhaps, three months? The magnetic device I put together to predict and to enhance the conditions surrounding the wormhole was destroyed when we were pulled through.”

“So we could be stranded here.”

“Yes.” Sasuke’s voice was very quiet as he agreed.

“You seem unusually disturbed by that. Yet, this is your home?”

The ninja shrugged. “It was. We should be going now. The professors will be waiting for you, and we still need their help.”

Mitsuhide knew he hadn’t gotten to the reason for Sasuke’s unhappiness at their current predicament. He needed to know why the ninja was perturbed, but good intel took time. Instead, he spent the rest of the trip to the university solving the mysteries of bank cards and how to operate a smart phone.

The university was a pleasant surprise. A vast complex of buildings dedicated to furthering knowledge and culture. There was one entire center given to poetry and literature. Another to medicine. One to agriculture. Walking through them made Mitsuhide miss his friends. He thought of Ieyasu and Mitsunari, of how they would enjoy the time to page through these endless shelves of books and scrolls.

He thought too, of his lord, and the oceans of blood they shed to reach this place. This time. Mitsuhide could not help but wonder if there was ever another way to get here, to this, or if war and sacrifice was the only way forward.

It was with these troubling thoughts in mind that he sat down across a desk from two aged men. One of them looked deeply distrustful, while the other seemed excited. The excitable one was Sasuke’s contact, and they greeted each other familiarly before the ninja introduced him.

“Professor Fukuda, this is Akechi Mitsuhide,” Sasuke bowed to his friend. “And this is Professor Sakai.”

The men greeted one another and then the questions began.

“So you claim to be the historical figure, Akechi Mitsuhide? The traitor of the Oda?”

“I do.” Mitsuhide smiled sharply.

The enthusiastic professor Fukuda nodded, interrupting. “No need to be hostile to the man. Just ask your questions. For verification.”

“Hmph. As if I can verify an impossibility. But . . . the other one, Hidemitsu, he was very convincing. Alright.” And he proceeded to ask about minutiae. Random details. The color of this, the material of that, the name of this or that scribe, and so on.

Mitsuhide wore his patient mask. The face of the eager servant, he called it. He answered the questions as fully as he could until finally, the skeptical Sakai ran out of steam.

“Are you satisfied, sir? Do you believe me now?” Sasuke waited for a reply.

“I suppose I have no choice. Besides, Professor Fukuda was showing me the formula for your time travel theorem. I’m no physicist, but it looks solid. And . . . Mister Akechi answered everything correctly. Down to the last detail!”

Mitsuhide took a breath. That was one obstacle down. “Now that I have your confidence, are you willing to make a deal with me?”

Fukuda took a breath. “Sasuke already gave us a list of your needs -”

“Yes. He provided the beginnings of our requirements. There is more.”

“Well? Go on then,” Sakai gestured.

Mitsuhide nodded. “I require unrestricted access to your libraries and data - databases. I will require an assistant to teach me how to navigate your net-work, and may also need to use your laboratories, which you will allow with proper safety measures in place.”

The two professors exchanged a glance and then nodded. “Done. Is that all?”

“No. I’ve one more request. I may at some time, need,” he glanced to Sasuke, fishing for the word from his new vocabulary. “Scholars. Scholars’ ships.”

“Scholarships. For special situation admittance,” the ninja added helpfully.

“Yes, that. Three of them.”

Fukuda leaned forward on his elbows. “Is it for more of you people from the past?”

“No. Let’s say, as a reward of sorts for some of those assisting us. I am not in a position here to offer them places in my retinue or at my castle. But I will provide for them.” Mitsuhide’s eyes were hard. This was not a negotiable point.

“Why not,” Sakai waved toward the window. “We have people drop out of programs all the time from the stress of studies. It shouldn’t be a problem to put three people in.”

Mitsuhide relaxed back into his chair. “Then we have a deal.”

*In IRL history, Miyake marries Mitsuhide's daughter and takes the name Akechi Hidemitsu so I decided to include that tidbit!

Next: In the Spotlight

[lovemxnot]

Worth the burn | Hwang Hyunjin

Firebender! Hyunjin x Avatar! Reader

Letters burned the scroll in your hand, reassuring words etched on them, scorching their presences into it.

“The city is great, they greeted me with much fanfare, and I’ve been having fun with Hyunjin and the others, like old times.

I feel more like myself than ever. Don't worry about me, mom and dad, I'm fine. I feel like I'm truly, finally healing.”

A pang of guilt surged through you, but you shoved it away, ignoring its lingering presence. Sealing the envelope, you gave it to the man standing impatiently next to you.

“The fire nation, I’m assuming?” He sighed, Referring to all the past letters you have sent.

“Wouldn’t bet otherwise.”

You were healing, perhaps not the same way you had mentioned in all of your letters, filled with nothing but the pure lies, but you were searching for a way- a way to forget, forgive, and move past what was done to you.

Forgiveness never came easy to you. Everyone around you pestered you into accepting the situation that you may never be the same avatar you used to be. But they had no idea what you were going through; no one did- after all, you were the only avatar alive.

It was humiliating how every day, you got up to move only for your legs to fail you despite daily visits to the most skilled healers.

At one point, you had hope, you could feel your legs again, and day by day, you were getting better until eventually, you learned how to walk again, but it all crashed once you tried combating and could barely throw a punch without images flashing, looming shadows engulfing your vision, sending you straight back square one, flashbacks so strikingly vivid it made you quiver down in terror. You were so ashamed, felt so weak and... helpless. How the once-great avatar’s mind turned against her becoming her gravest nightmare.

But You’ve had enough of wallowing in self-pity. You left your parent’s home, leaving the fire nation to sail to republic city, the city where your nightmare was born, the city where your friends reside, in hopes of confronting your fears and healing. And that was truly your plan, but it went astray.

“The match starts in five minutes, move to the ring,” the announcer reminded you.

You pulled yourself out of your head, wrapping the bandages tighter on your hands. Getting ready for your next match. You can feel the ground shake. The roars of the people at the stands pump your blood.

Today’s opponent was a new one. Never heard of it before; fresh meat. New to the game, alas, putting you at a disadvantage as you knew nothing of them or their bending element. Hopefully, it's not another lava bender. Those injuries of that fight alone had another nightmare simmering in the process.

And although you've mastered all four elements, you choose to fight with the one you were naturally born with-fire.

You stood behind the metal door, secluding you from the ring, hands going up to position, feet grounded, breathing in, then out. It wasn’t your first match, but it always feels like it is, no matter how many times you tried to nerve up.

As soon as the bell sounded, the doors slid open you shot a belt of fire to where you knew your opponent stood. Hoping to catch them by surprise.

Your opponent, on the other hand, skillfully blocked your advances while remaining idle in his place, silky red hood up- the signature of the fire nation, hair covering his eyes, shadowes concealing most of his face.

“What's wrong pretty boy? Afraid to fight?” You baited. The crowd's yelling got louder. They loved it when opponents ridicule each other. You surged another blast of fire their way, but they, once again, blocked it as if they already knew your next move.

“Come on, you know you gotta use your hands to fight, right?”

Nothing.

“Here, let me help” you looped a hoop of fire around their hands - or at least tried to before they counterfeited the attack and sent you flying. Body slamming the jagged wall with a thack that pales compared to thunder. But you were used to it by now.

“Alright, now you want to play, pretty boy? "

Using the tiniest amount of airforce, you air bended your way to them faster than they could blink and attacked. But all you were met with was hands blocking your every move.

Their movements were so familiar to you, you obstructed all of their attacks just as well as they blocked yours. It was more of a dance than a fight at this point, every move mirroring the others.

There was only one person that knew you that well. and oh god, did you wish you were wrong about this.

The red streak you glimpsed on his cheek supported your thoughts even more. There was only one person you knew that had that scar. A harsh exhale - laced with a little bit of airbending- blew his hood off, revealing what you wished was not true.

The tiny breeze blew his dark locks out of his face. Giving you a glimpse of his face.

No.

No. No way.

You knew those dark locks. You've run your hands through them enough times to know how they feel even without touching them.

"Hello Y/N"

“Hyunjin...? what are u doing here?!” You knew someday you might run into one of the figures of your past. It was inevitable after all, but not this soon and definitely not him.

“Why, when I heard the avatars look-alike was fighting in underground battles of the lower rinks of basingse I just had to come and get a glimpse myself!” Mockery slid fluidly through his sly smile, “and would you look at that? You do look like her! If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought it was you.”

He was furious, you could tell, even though he masked it with amusement in his voice. To the average eyes, it looked like nothing other than two old friends reconciling. But to you, you knew his blood was boiling by the crinkles of his eyes, the air so thick between you that even airbending it wouldn't help,

Hyunjin was your childhood best friend, and your firebending mentor's son.... and boyfriend. Well, technically, your ex-boyfriend now, seeing as you disappeared on him after the incident, didn't write any letters back for the past year letting him knew you were still breathing.

“Get out of here, I'm not going to fight you” you let your arms rest, blood running cold, fire distinguishing from you. Back turned, you head back outside the arena. You can faintly hear the crowds gasp in shock over the thoughts running in your head. Speaking of your head, it almost got completely scorched with a blast of fire sent your way had you not sensed it early enough and twisted on your hands to get out of its reach.

“Oh no, you don’t. You don’t get to run away. Not again ” He was heaving. He hadn’t moved a step, but he was seething. Another burst after burst was shot at you. “I waited a year y/n! " Oh, how you longed to hear him call your name for so long, but not when he was saying it out of resentment "a whole year just to hear something- anything from you! “

“Hyunjin- stop. I'm not going to fight yo-“

“I. spent. Two. Months. Searching. For .you” fire punctuating every word.

“ Hyunjin i-"

“I thought you were dead !” He punctuated with a blast. This one was charged with so much grievance that the fire was a searing blue. You were not as lucky as before at dodging it, mind catching on to the malice dripping from his voice. Had you not been burned, you would have noticed the tears welling up his eyes.

“Ah,” you hissed in pain.

“You never wrote me back!! But you wrote to Felix?!”

Felix was a mutual friend of yours. A non-bender that you’ve always been very fond of. A younger brother you never had.

“I didn’t know what to say!” You fired back this time, making it his turn to dodge, body ablaze with so much heat you felt it coming out of every limb.

“A simple ‘ hey I'm still alive, by the way, I want to break up with you’ would’ve done!”

“That's the avatar?” “ no way” “ they have a bounty for her head” the mob outside the arena started to murmur, but none of it registered with you.

“ i - I couldn't.....” your resolve faltered, arms dropping. Forgetting completely about the stupid match and the bystanders.

“But you could ghost me for A YEAR and three months?” He scoffed, “ not that I was counting or anything.” He added sneeringly.

“Ever thought I didn’t want to be found?” You snapped back. You had no right to at all. But it just... everything made you snap after the incident. Blame it on insomnia or the delusion or whatever, be it. It drove you crazy. Everything irked you, the sounds of footsteps, the numb feeling you would get in your legs sometimes, the breathing of the person standing next to you- everything aggravated you, you felt your resolve holding on to a thin thread.

Hyunjin, filled with so much fury, lashed on you once again. This time you blocked it, but it drove you roughly back into the unpolished wall. A rock that was jutted out of the wall struck you exactly where you were terribly injured in the attack that incapacitated you. A jolt of electricity crept through your body.

Pictures, more vivid than ever played before your eyes, legs feeling numb, horror swimming in your blood next to the burn of lighting that struck you. Body lying limp, you felt soft hands reach for your face.

“Y/N!” It was the same.

All the same.

You pushed Hyunjin out of shot, and it struck you midair.

The same face that found you after being utterly destroyed, peering over you, with terror and tears etched so deeply in his scarred face.

“ I'm sorry. I’m sorry,” he kept repeating like a mantra, hugging your figure closer, face resting in your neck.

“Please,” he sobbed, “ come back to me.”

Everything was foggy. Was it your eyes or the arena? You had no clue over the video looping in your head.

Lighting, as beautiful as it was, struck you so hard, slipping so gracefully out of your opponent’s fingers, dancing in your nerves, jolting your heart to a stop.

" I'm here." A soft voice pierced through the fog, glints of black and red becoming clearer the more the voice spoke. "I'm always here."

Hyunjin’s pained scream filled your ear” No, No, Chan- please do something! Heal her !”

“I can't lose you again, Y/N.”

Deep brown eyes broke through the fog, followed slowly by the rest of his figure. Hyunjin. That was hyunjin talking to you. The boy you were madly in love with. The boy that never gave up on you. Your eyes welled up seeing him so close- feeling him up so close again.

Fingers softly held your cheeks, your own clenching onto his silky red robe. He didn’t have to speak; his eyes spoke a thousand words. You hid from them in his neck.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," you mumbled into him, tears spilling.

His arms wrapped tighter around you, afraid you’d slip right through if he loosened an inch.

“Let’s go home.”

He didn't need to take you anywhere because right now, you felt more at home than ever.

[hms-no-fun]

do you ever deal with like... writers 8lock? how do you deal with that?

i do! quite often, in fact.

it's probably easy to look at the 30,000 words i've released in the last two weeks and think otherwise, but it's important to remember that i didn't release anything for a solid six months before this. when i finally got medicated again, the year i've spent thinking about this story while being mostly unable to get it on paper (for a multitude of reasons that can all be summarized with "it was 2020") just came flooding out of me. part of why i'm buckling down on this to the exclusion of almost everything else is because i know from experience that if i walk away for too long, all that energy will disappear and it'll be so much work to get it all back together again.

for me, writer's block is more of a math problem than anything. i was actually blocked on gf3 chapter 8 for a while because there are so many concurrent plot threads happening it's hard to keep them straight! i feel like half my job is just sitting here computing probabilities like a supercomputer that runs on pizza and filtered water.

a block can start anywhere. it can be "i don't know how to begin this story" or it can be "i don't know what should happen next" or "nothing i'm writing feels good." the blanket advice i would give for how to deal with a block is, of course, to keep writing anyway. you're never the best judge of the quality of your own work, especially when you're young. but i also know that this advice isn't really all that helpful, because i still get railroaded by blocks all the time. the difference is i've gotten pretty good at dealing with them in a timely manner.

i've described this feeling in other asks where i'll be writing a scene that's chugging along, and then something happens in the scene and suddenly i can't write anymore. the big example i always come back to is in gf2.2, when terezi lands on earth and tries to kill june. i originally ended that scene with terezi collapsing, june stealing her phone, and her and jade taking terezi to the hospital. and i actually sent that draft to a friend and she was like "this is great," but i wasn't convinced.

so i sat there for a bit and thought about what this story would look like if i followed that thread. did i really want to write a bunch of hospital scenes? did i really want to write an explicitly duplicitous june trying to cover up her actions? how would those things map onto the ideas i had for the future? and just from the shape of that story i could tell that, whether or not it was good in concept, the thought of writing it myself made me want to sleep for a thousand years.

and that's the thing, really. i think we railroad ourselves into scenes we don't want to write because they're the first thing we think of and we just kinda go with them. sometimes you just have to power through those scenes, but most of the time i've found that you can drop them in the trash or, at the very least, radically shift perspective in a way that makes them more interesting. writing is an expressive exercise and shouldn't feel like pulling teeth unless for whatever reason you feel like it has to. it's less about whether the writing is coming fast or slow and more about whether you think you're on the right track. and generally i've always been pretty good at telling if i'm on the right track. but like anything it's a skill that gets better with practice. hence: just write, damn it!

but then there are times like now, as i'm finishing up chapter 8.3.1, where i've just been staring at the damn thing for so long that i can no longer distinguish the good from the bad. that's why i brought other people on to check my corners. every time i write some clownshoes nonsense, i post snippets in our work server and ask if it's good. sometimes it is, sometimes it's on the right track but needs work, and sometimes it's totally off the mark. i like having people around me whose expertise in life as well as in homestuck specialty are different from my own.

a lot of times, working through a block is just a matter of talking it out. i've had SO many metaphysical conversations about godfeels deeplore that will probably never be made textually explicit, but they're important things for me to understand. often i find that a reason for a block has less to do with whether i know what is happening in a scene and more to do with whether i know why it's happening. because while writing i might have an idea like "ooh what if there's a spooky thing" and it fits in this esoteric sense. like i can tell that it's the right thing for this story. but now i've added a new wrinkle to the larger fabric of it all, and if i just keep writingwithout thinking about it i know i'll wind up regretting that choice later. so i compute probabilities and talk out concepts with my friends and throw out ideas and always always always when i'm open to other people's suggestions and drop all ego about "this is MY baby and I'M the auteur", we wind up coming up with some really truly excellent shit.

but sometimes a block is just a block. maybe you start a story and you don't like it. maybe your entire conception of the thing is just wrong, and you need to start from scratch but don't want to admit it. or maybe you're just tired!! i frequently try to push myself past my limits and i always wind up paying for it. my writing gets less coherent and i make a mess of parenthetical descriptions of [x character does y thing] and rushed, incomplete dialog that future me has to spend extra time just cleaning up.

it's easy to feel like, if you're upright and sentient then you have to write. but we aren't machines, and sometimes the energy just isn't there. maybe you can't focus enough, maybe the ideas are too spread apart. maybe you can only get a couple lines down. god knows that happens to me all the time! the solution, in my experience, is to just walk away.

there's a great bit in zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance by robert pirsig (which is genuinely one of my favorite philosophy books, surprising absolutely no one who knows its reputation) where he talks about having an engine problem in his motorcycle that he needs to fix, but there's a threaded screw holding the chassis in place keeping him from accessing the engine. he describes feeling FURIOUS, to the point of wanting to smash the whole fucking thing with a wrench. he describes being utterly, completely stuck, to the point that this screw is consuming his entire world. and he says:

"Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. ... Normally screws are so cheap and small and simple you think of them as unimportant. But now ... you realize that this one, individual, particular screw is neither cheap nor small nor unimportant. Right now this screw is worth exactly the selling price of the whole motorcycle, because the motorcycle is actually valueless until you get the screw out. With this re-evaluation of the screw comes a willingness to expand your knowledge of it."

art blocks, in my opinion, are no different. you can get stuck on the littlest things, especially when you're thinking big picture. it's easy to think that this one insignificant misunderstanding in the text can be ignored while you work on other parts, but it never works that way. at least for me. you have to be able to identify these little things that feel wrong, and treat them with the gravity and seriousness they demand. a quotidian hospital scene you barrel into automatically can be worth the entire wordcount of a work, because until you figure out why that scene feels wrong, you can't get any other work done.

and the solution, SO often, is to just walk away. go read a book, watch a show, go for a walk, smoke some weed, take a nap, eat food, whatever man pick your poison. let your brain passively process this thing in the background. during the day i write completely sober, and then at around 8 or 9pm when my comprehension really starts to fall and the doubts start creeping in, i step out and smoke some weed. obviously this isn't a solution everyone has access to, but it works for me! something about the way my thoughts spread out when i'm high makes it so much easier to process these vast pathways of information that i'm trying to funnel into a coherent narrative.

sometimes you realize the solution is to throw away 3000 words and take a different approach, like i did with 8.2. i should say, don't do this when you're just starting. you always always always end up rewriting the beginning of a story once you get a sense of how it builds and ends. the beginning in a first draft doesn't need to be good, it just has to get the ball rolling. but once you're in deep enough, you get a better sense of what works and what doesn't. and at that point you have to be egoless enough to know that even good prose can be the root cause of a block.

anyway, that's my advice. i hope that's helpful in some sense, but everyone's got their own approach and their own idea of what they're doing. this isn't meant to be blanket universal advice and shouldn't be taken as The True Way or whatever. it's just, like, my opinion, man.

[hoyaanae]

The beautiful dialogue of Lovely Us

Ep 01

"Once people become parents, their memory begins to become biased. They always remember they are their children's most reliable parents, but often forget that they are also children loved by their own parents. When they are waiting for their children to come back home, they forget that their own parents are also waiting for their return in a similar mood."

"When I'm absent from the concert, my idol won't know or feel sad. But when I don't go back to accompany my mom to celebrate her birthday, she'll know it. I don't want to make her sad."

Ep 02

"A lot of things are good at hide and seek - the old scarf I bought last year, the new eraser, Mom's favorite sewing needle, and a feeling of heartbeat for someone. We try to find them, but in vain. Then when we give it up, they just appear somewhere unexpected - on the back of the chair, in the book, in the cotton thread, and behind my back.

Human heart beats 60 to 100 times per minute on average. That day, I failed to count my heartbeat per minute. Even the water droplets falling from the umbrella were disrupted together with me. The joy, the thrill and the butterfly in the stomach converged into the restless heartbeats. On this raining day, a girl's heart beat 101 times in a minute."

Ep 03

"Huang Chengzi, why is the starry sky beautiful? Do you think it is because of the brightest star? Of course, everyone might say "Look, the Venus" while pointing at the brightest one. However, for those stars shining together and forming the Big Dipper and Orion, don't they look beautiful? They cannot be described as a foil. Anyway, I think some stars that keep shining might be more beautiful than the brightest one however dark they are."

Ep 07

"The audio frequency of the sound when a snowflake falls on the water surface is over 50,000 Hz. Because it falls beyond human beings' hearing range, this snowy day is still so quiet that it seems I can only hear my own heartbeat and that it seems there is only me and the person in front of me on this planet with a population of 6.6 billion. I hope this world can be noiser so that I can pretend that I've never discovered this secret."

"Do you have such a feeling? People around you always tell you that you are already standing on the top of the mountain, but when clouds and mist scatter, you find there is another higher peak waiting for you. After going out, I've found there are so many people who work harder and are more excellent than me. It's just like in an originally easy marathon race, I suddenly find all the people around are sprinting. So, I must run faster. Otherwise, others will surpass me. I'm a little bit out of breath."

"At the age of 17, we all have our own secrets. We are trying to hide those secrets, but they are still going to be discovered. We are unwilling to admit those secrets, but the more we conceal them, the more conspicuous they become. We are very clear about those secrets, but eventually, we are still willing to turn them into memories. And these secrets that cannot be told, are found so similar to each other after a long time. It turns out they are all about unexpected feelings for someone."

Ep 08

"I've always been content with what I have and I'm in need of nothing. I can remember what I read and I'm surrounded by nice people. My life has always been smooth and I thought the life that had been planned was not bad for me. Just like a sailing ship, with enough food, I didn't look forward to rains and storms. I just wanted to follow the prescribed route and go back fo the safe zone of the harbor in the end. That was my perfect ending. But from the very beginning, you've been determined to brave the storm and to see the bigger world. Wind and rain can't knock you down and the waves can't overturn you. You've shown me a life course that's completely different from mine. So, since her dream is to explore this world, I just can't let her go through it alone. Zhu Jinxiao, I like you."

"At the age of 17, the first habit developed by boys is to hide their affections. They think that the probability is just 0.01, so they put on the emperor's new clothes, trying to hide their affections with magic. But affections are not that easy to hide. Even if the probability is pretty low, it will be revealed at a certain moment. So on that rainy night, while looking at her back, he found that the most obvious evidence of falling in love with her was the feeling of easement in his heart and the smile on his face when he looked at her."

Ep 09

"In the past, we always felt a year with 365 days was exceedingly long, but only when it comes to this moment do we understand that we become one year older all of a sudden. The significance of spending the Spring Festival, extending from ancient times to the present, is shining brightly like fireworks, giving us the courage to heal each other many times. And then we can have a new start. It doesn't matter that you can't eat steaming hot dishes. It doesn't matter that you perhaps don't know the secret hidden in the couplet. It doesn't matter that you listen to your grandma's nagging sometimes. Even if it takes too long on the way back, as long as there are people we care about, we won't be lonely. We will return to the home we are familiar with."

Ep 10

"Actually we never forget the happy hours with our parents in childhood. Maybe the so-called alienation is because we walk so fast while our parents are staying where they are. One meter, a hundred meters, a kilometer. The distance becomes farther and farther until we can't hear them calling us. That's why we mistakenly think love is silent. So while we are confused, our parents feel the same too. They are confused about how they can give us their deep love in a smart manner."

"Those who love hiding their feelings most in this world are fathers. They hide their inarticulate concerns in warm lights. In every precious certificate of merit, they put their unmentionable encouragement. Besides, there are many silent surprises they carefully arrange in every day when we are marching to the future. They firmly care about us with such silent fathers' love, and we firmly love them."

Ep 11

"We think that many things and many people in this world can wait til tomorrow. So when you pause it or when you turn around, you think that everything will still be the same tomorrow, or you won't even realize this hope in your mind, because you think tomorrow should be the same as today. And you think nothing will change as time flies by. But this time, the moment you let go and turned around, some things completely changed. The sun went down and before it rises again, some people will leave you forever. We always thought that there would be a big ceremony to say goodbye, so we keep waiting for a warm hug, a refreshing drink, and a heartfelt goodbye. But in the end, we realized that most goodbyes in our lives are all silent."

Ep 12

"At that silent corner in my mind, there are a number of weird illusions. For example, can I become Alice who enters the wonderland with White Rabbit? For example, can I become the little girl who enters the forest with Totoro? For example, is there some special switch in this box which can teleport me? No, none of them exist. There's no flying dragons or knights, and I'm not the heroine of some comics for girls, either. However, the only thing I'm sure about is that this escape greatly shocks my world. My palms would sweat, and my sight would be indistinct. Then my view becomes narrower and narrower until there's room for only one person in my eyes. After a long time, I know such a moment is named adventure, in which the one in your eyes is irreplaceable."

Ep 13

"In the summer of 2008, in retrospect, the most impressive thing may not be the world-famous Olympic Games, but the silly things we did because we were fearless. What is shining and unexpected is everything that is closely related to friendship. We wanted to pick the brightest stars and make the most beautiful wishes, so we became the bravest boys and girls. While crying and laughing, with the bond between each other, toward the most beautiful end of youth, we keep running all the way and never stop."

"The familiar chirping of cicadas on summer nights, the familiar bear doll who must lean by the lamb, the familiar lovely girl who frowns even when she sleeps, and the 17-year-old time wrapped by the sense of familiarity never seem to have changed. The only difference is that when I look at the familiar him, I feel a flurry and uneasiness that I have never expected."

Ep 14

"That night, it was the first time I found there's magic hidden in my mom's smile. Those feelings between adults and children which I thought are hard to express in words don't have to be spoken out. They can be understood through her smile. Indeed, adults don't often say I love you, and seldom say sorry. But it doesn't matter. Action speaks louder than explanation. There's no need to express deep feelings in words. If you stand there quietly, you can automatically receive all their love for you."

"There are many new days like today. Today, he holds my hand. Today, he holds me in his arms. Today, he carries me on his back and runs in the street in the early morning. Many days with him like today will eventually become my unforgettable past days. I'll remember days like today for a long time."

Ep 15

"In the last hundred days, I heard countless times "Hurry up to walk! Hurry up to eat! Hurry up to take the notes! And hurry up to go to the toilet." But it's strange. When you try to seize time by the forelock, it goes faster. Then after the exams, we graduated."

"I just want to be an ordinary person. I'll live on a small fruit stand in the future or continue your small shop, which makes me happy. This is life. It's my own choice and I will bear the results. Different people have different dreams. Let those extraordinary people be extraordinary. I just want to be a happy and ordinary person."

"Friendship means so much to us. It brings us close, and makes me flinch, so sometimes we just tell ourselves that as long as we're together, I can be just a friend of hers. But the taxi that I failed to catch, the phone calls that have been hung up, the time that's flying and my restless heart are telling me eagerly that in this world, both love and friendship are important. Every detail related to you is reminding me that we can't be just friends. So when it's still not too late, I have to tell you the things that I want to tell you as soon as possible. Huang Chengzi, I like you."

Ep 16

"In this world, it seems like all wishes have a guardian. Wishing wells, shooting stars, the aquarium's white whale. They're all hiding in the corners of the universe caressing the sorrow of loving someone alone. It's just that the god of happiness can't bless everyone out there. They let some people be happy and their wishes come true, and let some be sad, but they can't admit how sad they really are. The feeling of being in love is like a butterfly gently flapping its wings, that stirs up a hurricane in people's hearts. The second you realize it, then there's no escape."

"That's you when you're happy. And that's you when you're mad. Over there is the jealous you, and you when you're being naughty and pretending to cry. I was just going to draw one to start with, but every expression you have is floating around in my head, and I really love every single one of them."

"I've never been afraid of growing up. And I've never worried that growing up would be lonely. Not because I'm so strong, but because I have faith that I will never be alone. The guy who held my hand will continue to grow up closely together with me. The guy who's in my diary and I in his, will exchange even more secrets in the future. All of us have walked together through the years and will continue to walk together farther into the future. This world never lets lovely people down, and we are all lovely."

[himbowelsh]

Well now I need touch starved Liebgott something! I always imagined Webgott to work the other way around. Y'know Web being unused to hugs and Lieb having no sense of boundaries. But I'm really intrigued by a concept of switching it up.

hello i’m in tears bc this took so long to write, but...  enjoy an extremely touch-hangry boi.  be warned, for copious amounts of obscenely soft cuddling.

Long story short, it goes like this.

David’s just finished an article, two hours ahead of the frankly unreasonable deadline sent by his editor; he collapses on the couch, promptly kicks his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table, and slumps against Joe’s side.

Joe goes very still.

At first, David thinks it’s because of his feet. Joe can be weird about things like that; he values cleanliness, and “not acting like fuckin’ animals in the house, Jesus, Web”. All the things David was never allowed to do growing up in his family’s Manhattan penthouse  ---  like leave dishes out or discard his clothes in messy piles  ---  are exactly the sort of things that drive Joe insane. He kind of relishes doing them, just to see the twitch Joe gets by his eye, and for the way he grips his hips roughly when he growls at him to “quit leaving your shit everywhere”. David’s natural sloppiness leaves Joe needing an outlet for his frustration… and their shared bedroom is kept very clean. It works out great for both parties.

So, sure, it’s probably just the feet on the table… he thinks for a grand total of eight seconds, before looking up to catch Joe’s eye.

His boyfriend’s gaze has gone impossible soft. It takes David’s breath away, a little, because Joe isn’t like that as a rule. He’s sharp edges and broken glass, jagged teeth and bladed grins. He’s harsh as sandpaper and smooth as steel. He’s frustrating, and his gentle moments come and go like fickle summer storms.

To be fair, impromptu cuddling on the couch isn’t like them either… but David needs it tonight, and stepping outside the bounds of their normal relationship can’t be the worst crime in the world. He holds Joe’s gaze for a moment, questioning and careful… but, instead of pulling away, Joe just takes a moment before sighing. His arm wraps around David’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“Rough night, Web?” he asks, an undercurrent of implication in his voice. This ain’t like you. You alright?

“You have no idea.” David rests his stubbled cheek against Joe’s chest, sighing deeply as the tension slowly drains from his muscles. Joe is hesitant to react; his actions, even as he rubs up and down David’s shoulder, lack his usual fearlessness. Joe can grab his ass in the middle of a crowded bar, or ruffle his curls just to get on his nerves… but this casual intimacy is uncharted territory for him.

He needs a distraction from his own head. David’s got just the thing. “How would you,” he sighs, “like to hear about the plight of Heteractis anemone? Because I just wrote four thousand words on it.”

“Heter— huh.” Joe sighs into the crown of his head, ruffling his curls. “Pretty sure Guarnere caught that once.”

“Knowing him, he’s still got it,” David replies. When Joe laughs, it reverberates in his chest, a low rumble in David’s ear.

“Yeah, alright, Web. Tell me all ‘bout your anemoles.”

“Anemone.”

“Yeah, what’d I say?” Joe presses his grin into David’s hair. “Amenemes.”

“Anemo-- damn it,” he mutters, burying the words against his boyfriend’s chest. Joe laughs even harder… and, like it or not, the sound it a balm to David’s frayed nerves. Even better are the strong arms which wrap around him, fully encompassing his shoulders and pulling him against Joe’s body. It’s… more than he was anticipating, more than they probably need, but it feels nice, and he doesn’t want to pull away. David melts against him, curling his legs with Joe and letting himself drift off. Fingers card gently through his hair; his boyfriend’s warm breath caresses his temple… and being this close feels so good that he forgets to remember it isn’t ordinary at all.

If he looked up at that exact moment, he might have found Joe enjoying it even more than he was… but David, as usual, preferred to sail away.

-------------------------------------

That really should have been the end of it… but after their night of unexpected intimacy, it’s like a dam has broken.

Joe does it at unexpected moments. While David is flipping pancakes in the kitchen, he comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist, chin looping over his shoulder. They just sort of… stay there. David is so surprised that he ends up charring the pancake, which Joe eats anyways, because he’d inhale charcoal if he was hungry enough… but while his boyfriend is wolfing blackened pancake lumps down his throat, no explanation is offered. David doesn’t know how to ask.

He’s brushing his teeth; Joe comes up behind him and holds his hips, just staying there for a few minutes. He’s reading a book in bed; Joe lies down, curling into his side like an automatic reflex. They’re watching whatever B-rated action flick Joe just insisted on going to see at the Cineplex, and Joe holds his hand the entire time.

Calling it strange is an understatement. It’s fucking bizarre.

Which isn’t to say Joe’s been shy about physical contact before, because he hasn’t. He’s just always been measured with it. Joe doesn’t hold back from touching people, grasping their shoulders or clapping them on the back… but he never goes overboard with it. His touches don’t linger. He’s a handsy person by nature, but David never considered before that he weighs every touch before giving them out. 

If that’s the case, what’s changed? Why has he suddenly become so free — even apparently craving — touches he’s never asked for before?

David doesn’t know much about the scientific method, but any good journalist can test a hypothesis as well as a lab tech. Early one night, before either of them have gone to bed, he sits down next to Joe on the couch and sets the remote in his boyfriend’s lap.

“Anything but reality TV,” is all he says, and Joe smirks as he turns the station to some late night show.

He’s paying attention; David is not. Instead, his attention is fixed firmly on Joe, not even trying to hide it. The curve of his profile, the shadows along his neck and collar, the way he always lounges when he sits… like he’s trying to take up as much space as possible. Something about him seems inexplicably, undeniably lonely.

David leans over and wraps an arm around Joe’s shoulders. The reaction is expected; Joe goes tense, like he’s trying to figure out what the hell is going on. David counts back in his head:  ten… nine… eight… seven…

Before he gets to five, Joe’s relaxed into him. Easy as that — it’s like teaching a puppy to eat food, or a baby to cry. Joe and touch go together like authors and caffeine. Touching is easy for him, but being touched is the most natural thing in the world.

A flame kindles to life within David’s chest, and soon it’s warming him from the inside out. He can’t keep a fond smile from his lips. After a moment, his hand strays up to Joe’s hair, threading gently through the well-maintained strands. Joe’s always had a weakness for having his hair touched, and tonight is no exception. He makes a tiny, content noise and leans into David, the tension slowly draining from his body. It doesn’t take long before he’s leaning against him, head balanced against David’s chest. Arms still around him, David holds Joe tenderly, caressing his hair while occasionally pressing kisses to the crown of his head. Joe’s heartbeat is steady, his muscles lax. David charts the gentle rhythm of his breathing until he’s sure his boyfriend has dropped off to sleep.

When he looks down, a wave of tenderness washes over him. Joe Liebgott with every guard down is a thing to see. He so rarely looks peaceful. There’s something restless about Joe, a relentless hunger thrumming just beneath his skin, determined to break free. He’s always had an edge of urgency to him… but now, dozing against David’s chest, he looks without a care in the world.

He ought to be this way all the time. He deserves to be happy all the time. God help him, if David has any say in it, Joe will be.

“Is it my birthday or something?” Joe asks, when David, completely unprompted, begins massaging his shoulders. “Shit, don’t tell me I’m another year older and just forgot.”

“Not for another few months, old man,” David replies. On reflex, Joe tries to twist and grab him, but David’s massage doesn’t let up; after a minute, he relaxes into it, slumping further back against David’s chest.

“You been acting weird lately,” Joe declares — as though David needs to be good, and as though he wasn’t the one acting weird to begin with. “Everything fine at work? You didn’t… gamble away our savings to the mafia, or promise Sobel our firstborn kid or something? If you got news for me, Web, I can take it without a bonus massage.”

“Why do you think — wait, we’re going to have kids?”

“Head in the game, Web. What’s going on?”

At once, he’s glad Joe is facing the other way, because David’s not sure what he could say otherwise. He frowns at Joe’s back muscles, kneading into them with a bit more force than necessary. Sure, he’s been… more physically affectionate these days. Joe no longer has to seek it out, because he gives it willingly… and even if touch doesn’t come naturally to David, the obvious way Joe eats it up when his touches linger in public or they draw close to each other in private makes it all worthwhile. Joe seems happier nowadays, so clearly it’s working fine.

Why’s he getting interrogated now?

“Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks. “Just because I want to touch?”

“You ain’t a touchy-feely person. Never have been.”

“People change.”

“Not you.” Joe’s observation is too neutral for David to justify flaring up at it. “Come on, Web. What’s going on?”

He’s silent for a long moment before summoning a reply. “I want you to be happy,” he declares, finishing off Joe’s back massage with a caress of his neck. “I want you… to feel loved.”

Joe is silent for a beat before turning his head to look back at him. “That’s all, huh?”

“Yeah,” David huffs. “That’s all.”

It’s hard to make out Joe’s expression when one half of his face is cast into shadow, but David spots the amusement in his eyes… and something else, too, something softer that he can’t put his finger on. It sparks a familiar warmth in his chest, and he smiles.

“Well, don’t stop on my account,” Joe sighs. There’s no warning before he’s leaning back against David’s chest, but David’s ready this time. He opens his arms, embracing him as they go. Slowly, Joe relaxes into the comfort of his touch, and the world feels a little warmer.

[lukalew]

- - - The Affectionner - - A Creepypasta Origin

Axel Coss, black haired boy, with a white streak of hair going down the middle of his front hair. Strange really, not many kids a white streak of hair. But, moving on from that, he lived with his mom, Cece Coss, his dad, James Coss, and his two brothers, Ames and A.J. Triplets of course, they did everything together . Play, draw, clean, and otherwise. They all five lived in St. George, Utah, on a empty land, with their house and field. After the triplets were born tho, James and Cece decided to move to Kansas. But that didn't work out well. So, they moved to Mississippi. Where the triplets are now 15. School was pretty easy and all, everyone loved them. Well, the majority of people in their school. Axel was really the quiet and calm one, Ames, the short tempered, and A.J, the awkward type. So, they all kinda just stuck together like a pod. A couple more and now they are all 25 , well...two are at least. Ames and Axel- now , A.J ... when he turned to the age of 22, he got kidnapped and was tortured to death. LITERALLY. Nobody was able to find him. Until 2 months later, after he died he was found in a rusty old grey building. Almost looking like it was gonna collapse. His face torn, ripped...his arm and legs broken. It was just a nightmare, but thats only the start of it.

Ames got pretty emotional afterwards - Axel didn't say much after as well. He sometimes stayed in his room for hours , not eating, sleeping, nothing really, just thinking. 4 months passed and later on, Cece and James had been kidnapped by the same guys from when A.J was. And the parents died as well. The kidnappers had been caught and taken to jail. Ames soon left Axel, and if he was being honest to himself..he was glad Ames left. After everything that happened Ames started to drink and abuse Axel. Thats when his life became even more of a living hell. Work got harder, the bills were too much, and nothing could really make him happy at this point. Except for thing. Stitching. He would stitch blankets, stuffed animals, and when he got a bad cut- sometimes even himself. That was the only thing...for now. He was like cursed or something. Thats when he got to point- - -"Your fired." "What?" his voice shuddered as he clicked his pen a few times. "Your..FIRED!! You always mess up on the cars when we are on break- and you are too quiet- good for nothing piece of roadkill!" his boss, Keith, screeched as he took a fair raise of the hand and slapped him across his ear to mouth-that somehow cutting him. I mean, he was holding a wrench so- that probably why. Axel gently ran his finger down his face from his ear to mouth and felt the blood rushing out. "O-okay, under-s-stood..sir." the male exhaled taking th scarf he brought in with him because it was usually cold in the warehouse. Axel slid it on and ran home. At this point it was too much. He sat on the dining room chair rethinking his entire existence. "Do i even matter?...Of course i don't- not to my parents, not to my boss, ...not to my family.." out of the corner of his eye- he spotted a small, brown and white gun. "Thats it..." he said to himself, with a faint- but crazy smile. He walked to the gun, and made sure it was loaded. The black haired male pointed it to his heart and shot himself. Blood splattering on the wall and carpet. No screams, no cries, no pain. With the last bit of energy that he had, he shot himself in the head...

"Hey! Ax! Over here!" his brother A.J shouted waving from the field. He smiled softly and ran to the other versions of him. "whats up?" he asked kneeling down to his height. "Why do you always wear that scarf? It kinda looks like its from the eighteen hundreds." Ames spoke lifting a piece of the scarf up from Axel's neck. "Well, this girl at school gave it to me." He laughed softly rubbing the back of his neck. "Ooooooo!- Axel has a crush! Axel has a cru-" Ames interrupted what A.J said by pushing him backwards- "Oh shut up, its probably just a present." he sighed. "Whatever you say, maybe you should ask her out! Whats her name??" A.J declared getting up and picking some dandelions from the ground and putting them in his hair. "O-Oh uhh, her name is Jane-." Axel slightly blushed. Ames sighed laying down with his hands behind his head. "Yup, just as i expected- good old Jane Arkensaw.. she's kinda a brat if you ask me." "H-hey! Thats not true, she's actually really nice if you get to know her." A.J looked confused. "Isn't she the one who hasn't been coming to school for some time?" Ames glared at A.J- "Yes, yes she is." Axel replied taking the dandelions out of A.J's hair and putting them in a row at the top of his black silk hair, seeing he was struggling to put them in since they just get falling out. "i hope she's okay tho..."

HIs eyes shot open and then rubbed his head. "just another stupid nightmare..." he calls them nightmares because, well to him they are just painful memories. He put on his boots and looked at the calendar, "Huh....Macy Stars...well, this should be fun." He sighed and git his scalpel, stitching utensils, needles, thread, and his scarf. Ax put the scarf on and walked out with his drawstring bag.

(This is the bag btw)

He followed the directions where it told him to go. Now, he would normally go on his own free will and time, but it was like Slender decided when she dies. He shrugged it off and soon arrived. "This must be it huh?" Ax sighed ruffling his own hair a bit so his scar would show as much. He thought if you had scars it makes you weak, can't take care of your self. Anyways, he quietly entered through her back door,which was unlocked. "Who leaves their back door unlocked at a time like this?" The medium hight male said looking at the sunset and took in a deep breath then exhaled. That sorta calmed him down. Axel walked up the stairs and looked in the bathroom to see her doing her makeup. He had to admit she was beautiful, but still worthless to him. She was in fact a girl that went to his school. "There we go!" She smiled at herself in the mirror and did a duck face as if the mirror was taking a photo of her. She was really nice to him and all, but he didn't care, he didn't care about any of the victims of his. "They don't deserve this love...." he shuddered under his breath. Axel walked in holding a scalpel and his eyes now looking fully gold. The brown faded away, no mercy in his look. Macy spotted him in the mirror and screamed backing up her back hitting the sink. "How did you get in my house?!" She screamed and reached for a small mirror of hers and hid it behind her. "That's a pretty stupid question to ask...more concerned how I got in your house...then how your gonna survive this? Well, I can answer that for you. Your not." He walked to her and slashed the scalpel across her face- giving her a scar as well, "OWW- YOU LITTLE-" She screamed in pain holding one side of her face and taking the mirror and trying to hit him with it. Axel sighed seeing her on the ground, she had fell. He bent down, and grabbed her arms- putting them together. "W-wh-What are you doing....?!" She asked in a shaky tone. No response, he softly held them tightly tighter and took out his stitching utensils and started to weave her arms together. "Ow stop please!!" She begged trying to kick him- but he was almost done with the stitching process. Is she really that weak, stitches don't even hurt that bad, it's like poking yourself with a sharp en or pencil. Macy looked down at her sewn arms and her eyes as wide as the galaxy. "I really don't like loud noises you know... so, if you would have just been quiet I wouldn't had have to do this.." he softly whispered in her ear and sew her mouth together. No matter how hard she tried to scream- it was all just muffled noises. "There we go. Now, if you don't mind me, I will proceed to kill you." Her eyes were wider now. Tears formed in her eyes and just looked down. "Aww.. come on now-" he started to say, lifting up her chin and wiping the tears away. "I'm just putting you out of your misery- we only live in this world to die, it just is stressful for me to see people in pain like this." That was a lie of course. He didn't care if his victims were hurt, physically or mentally.

He cut open her stomach and found her heart. "There it is..." he took another piece of thread and needle then started to stitch a X into her heart. Soon, a golden piece of light came out of her heart and Axel held his arm out-the light transferred to his arm and he sighed in relief. "That felt good," he thought then looked down at Macy. "You know, life is as valuable as your love.." he smiled then ripped her heart out in one light pull. Her body falling to the floor . He smiled softly and set the heart near her makeup. He always set the heart of theirs next to something they loved. "Now that that's done," he sighed getting up and grabbing all his things and heading out.

His appearance strikes so many people, sometimes he would pretend to be a human to lure in victims. He is a handsome, kind, boy- so it's pretty easy. But he doesn't do it often, only when there's nobody really good to kill.

He still has his black hair with the white streak. And of course, he wear a big grey scarf around his neck with a small black X at the bottom of the end of the scarf. A beige, sorta brown jacket. Sometimes he would wear a black zipped up leather coat, but that's only when it's really cold outside. Black pants with a chain going form the top right corner of his belt, to the lower half of his left side. Sorta like his scar. Black boots with a stitched in X at the bottom corner of both boots. Some witnesses have said he is a tall, around 5'5 , male. Some people say he takes in emotions, that's not really it tho...

See, what he can do is- he only takes peoples lives, who get a lot of love, and give a lot of love, and not really sad people. He would climb through their windows at night , or when they are alone. But in some cases he just breaks in wherever he can. Axel is a ghost, spirit, otherwise. But he doesn't really like doing all of that appearing in thin air thing. Ever since people have reported sightings of him, he tries his bets you stay of out sight. Axel will use his stitches to sew a big X into their heart so he can acquire all the love that has been given to the person, or, the love that they have to share. If they attempt to scream or fight back, he will sew their mouths closed- or arms and legs together. The reason he takes the affection from his victims is because, his parents gave him none- and when he was alive, nobody gave him any either. After some time, the affection runs out, so he needs to restock it every 2-4 days. If one of his victims try to give him affection before they die, he will go to their height smile at them , and say...

"Im afraid ...your love means nothing to me.."

He also has another famous quote which is..

"Life is as valuable as your love."

If he were to go on a mission with a creepypasta - his most compatible people would be

-Puppeteer

-Jason The Tomaker

-Eyeless Jack

- Laughing Jack

- Jane The Killer

- Sally

- Zero

- and Judge Angels