#(( I NEED TO EAT HIM /j ))

[proxolagist]

image ID under the cut!

[Image ID: A digital drawing of Steve, Penny, and her daughter from the web series Bigtop Burger, eating breakfast. From left to right: Steve is eating two pancakes like a burger, Penny is standing and smiling with a plate of pancakes and her hand on her daughters shoulder, and her daughter is staring at a pancake in the shape of Olaf’s head from Disney’s Frozen. End ID]

[elliottshusband]

Letting you all know I have baby bill printed. Ahahahahha

[zombiec4ke]

hello, this is my first time requesting something ever but could you do a wheatley x gn reader? like maybe where the reader finds him a dumpster after the stuff that happens in portal? maybe just some fluff and wheatley being a needy boi

A/N: OMG MY FIRST REQUEST YIPPEE :D Warnings: nothing besides some swears, toothroting fluff, and wheatley being a drama king

Since the day you stumbled upon Wheatley in that dumpster and, for sheer lack of anything better to do, deciding to give him a better chance at life (you repaired him) life with him has become....rather...strange? Wheatley never shuts up and it often irritates you since you're the quiet type. But even then Wheatley really likes you despite everything, and your presence is everything to him. The adorable little robot does everything to get your attention and that's honestly cute. but not how he sometimes tries to get your attention ...like this time.... "Hey, hey! y/n," Wheatley's sphere body rolls until it reaches your feet "Hey, Mate look at me, look at me, look at meeee!" Wheatley says while slamming his spherical body against your leg...'thats definitely going to leave a bruise....' you say to yourself you sigh deeply putting down your sandwich you were making and you look down to see what wheatley wants to show you this time "Oh, thank splendid! You're finally paying attention to me." Wheatley says his single blue eye 'winks'. "Look, I've been working on this, a little project of mine. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread, or maybe even better." Wheatley says his body rolling back, revealing a small pile of what appears to be Lego blocks, hastily assembled into a crude, almost…wall? like shape. "what…is it if I may ask…?" you ask with an eyebrow raise wondering how did he even make it in the first place…he's just a..sphere…? "Well, it's a… a… divider, of course! You see, it's a way to separate your space from mine. I' know you've been saying you want some privacy, so I thought, 'Why not?'" Wheatley says doing a little spin "It's brilliant, right? I mean, look at the mastery, the workmanship, the sheer genius behind this. It's a stroke of brilliance, isn't it?" The little robot gestures with his eye, trying to sell the idea, even though it's a bit of an eyesore. The Lego creation is hardly a thing of beauty, but it's the thought that counts, right? And, well, y/n, you have to admit, it's something. He's trying to make your home a better place for both of you, in his own, clumsy way. "I'm more impressed how you managed to build this without hands" you say slightly chuckling "Oh, that's easy, mate. I just roll over the pieces, you know, one by one. It's simple. And then I just… push them together with my sphere-ness. It's all about force and momentum. I'm quite the multitasker, if I do say so myself." Wheatley's eye sparkles with pride, as if he's just solved the world's energy crisis with his little Lego creation. The truth is, he's just happy that he made something, and even happier that you're looking at it. "So, what do you think? Do I get a pat on the back, or am I just a moron who can't even build a wall properly?" He tilts enthusiastically It's obvious he's trying to impress you, and even if it's a bit misguided, you can't help but smile at his efforts. you smile and pick up wheatley and give him a boop on his not-a-nose-noseish-area (idk what to call it lmao-) "you did good buddy, I love it" as you give him a boop wheatley sputters before getting the human equivalent to an adrenaline boost and he speeds around your legs going in circles "Splendid!! I knew you would love it!!" you cant help but smile at this and you pick up your sandwich "Thanks again Wheatley, Ima finish making a sandwich and you can continue working on your divider" ""Enjoy your sandwich, y/n! I'll keep working on this masterpiece. I'll make sure it's up to your standards." And with that, Wheatley returns to his Lego creation, rolling back and forth, adding more blocks to his wall. and you while you make your sandwich you can't help but let your mind wander that this whole thing kinda weird…I mean come on…your only friend being a robot you found in the dumpster…you mom always said you would end up a lonely outcast…but you never thought you would be this lonely…

But then again you gives a fuck in this society, you yourself is happy so go fuck whoever tells you otherwise. all you need in life is your sphere robot buddy even though sometimes hes an idiot and set your house on fire one time.... *cough* but that's another story....

A/N: I really hope you like it!! I did my best, dont be shy to send in more requests :D

[vesrimm]

Haha! Well! If you all want him to bleed so much, who am I to argue?

[sieglinde-freud]

actually thinking very hard about gerome/yarne specifically virion!yarne because hes my favorite but also what if when we were kids i was your only friend and confidant in a country where everyone despised your family on account of your traitor father and you were looked down upon due to your taguel lineage and then your parents died and oh fuck so did mine and you were left with nothing but a dead culture and rule over people that hate you but i stayed by your side through it all not only as your knight and guardian but also as your friend and also we were both boys. what if we had to flee our home after it fell to risen and i watched as you succumbed to your anxiety over being the last taguel and sole heir to your house but i was powerless to comfort you in my own grief and then i lose sight of you for years as we travel back into the past and when we finally reunite things are can never be how they were before but i dont need them to be i just need you to be okay now. and we were both boys. my vision do you see it

[radicheart-a]

"Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you! Quite a pleasure! I'm about to end your FUCKING life!"

[moregraceful]

I name all of my snake plants after Baltimore Orioles players because...I don't know why I do that.....anyway Adley (she/her pronouns according to my parents) and Adam Jones are making the trip with me but Chris Davis is TOO BIG FOR THE CAR and I'm so sad now. That was my emotional support snake plant through my FMLA leave. He has seen the worst of me (mental illness, forgot to water him for a month) and survived. Now he's like four feet tall and I have to leave him behind because he is so big that he takes up more than a third of my luggage space in the car 🥲 I took such good care of him that now he has to live independent of me. Goodbye Chris Davis I will think of you fondly as I encourage Adley to grow big and strong.

[lengthy-artery]

.

[possiblytracker]

tbh i thought id have more to post abt when i got back but i am struggling to come up with anything more eventful than the goose i made friends with at my new volunteer job he was supposed to be an animal ambassador for a critically endangered species but he kept biting little kids so now he lives behind the scenes biting volunteers instead.and following me round the yard screaming

^ savage beast who will not be placated by such meagre offerings as day old lettuce

[thegreatestheaver]

mmm i wanna draw more robot gore but im not sure who should be my little test subjects

[poppurini]

ill take your ask as an excuse to write for mr. lilz cuz he got to me too… certainly not to millie hheun’s terminal degree of infection but if they waterboard us with an onslaught of SSRS he’s bound to move me.. gnawed at my cerebellum like a rattttt and now we all have to make a circle and pray that his groovy art pictures him shirtless and tatted to the nines

DISINTEGRATES……………I’M SO SCARED

and i get you…i’ve been ignoring that man for the past two years…didn’t even notice him in the first…then all of a sudden the world comes crashing down on me the vanrouge disease hit me like a PLAGUE….next thing i know i’m in shackles

[cheolhub]

sar i'm sorry but ur man was looking too fine in the last gose

[mercurialshigh]

.

[confused-and-dickless]

HUNGRY. I WANT FOOD. WHAT DO I WANT. I M TIRED. I NEED TO BE HELD.

[iwaasfairy]

Fairy, I’m so fucked. I’m in this weird fwb situationship with my cousin not cousin’s best friend’s best friend. He’s such a bum too its like straight out of a dark fanfic 😭 I actually want him whyyyyy???? He’s broke, jobless, and has his head stuck so far into FFXIV you’d have to fish him out just to ask him what’s up. I’m so out of his league too and he doesn’t even like me!! Half the time I’m not sure why he can’t just watch porn to get off but wants my pictures. I’m simultaneously grossed out knowing what he’s doing but also attached to this because it’s the only time he really gives me time of day. I want to drop him but I also can’t bring myself to. Talk some sense into me please. I feel annoying texting him so much when he really doesn’t care.

giRL YOU BETTER FUckIN STOP IT do not tell me this musty dusty crusty gross uggo man who's neet-ness is currently oozing out through my screen has you wrapped around his finger(s). that's honestly embarrassing for you bABE likE COME ON NOW. you knOW YOURE wAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE AND YOU'RE STILL THERE FOR WHAT REASON???? does he make you feel pretty? no. does he make you feel important? no. does he do anything except beat his meat to anything he can get his gross unwashed hands on from you? no.

you best fuckin kick that man to the curb before the day is over giRL lIKE COME ONNNN,,, love yourself. i love you. i know you're sexy as fuck. this man has nothing on you

[krustybob]

thinks about bart too hard and explodes