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mika-no-sekai-blog · 2 months

Text

Part III

Word count: 3900+

Warnings: a lot of anxiety and panic attacks (our reader have a tough time adjusting to the new life), also little smut(ish)

Autumn themed divider by tsunami-of-tears

Part II | Part IV

The morning found you curled up in the ottoman, peacefully sleeping. A knock sounded on the double doors and you jolted up looking around the unfamiliar room. As your brain got rid of the heavy fog of the sleep, all memories of the last day popped out and you sighed heavily. Your gaze fell to the bed and you immediately sat up, eyes wide. The bed was made, no one slept in it. You quickly checked up your body. And apparently you were just as untouched as that bed. You were confused as well as relieved. You didn't understand. How was it possible? You and your husband were supposed to do.. something. Did he not come? Or he came in, found you sleeping and left? Angry? And where did he sleep?

Another knock sounded, snapping you out of your thoughts before you started spiraling. You weren't sure what to do, so you went and opened the doors a little. Same maids were waiting there and as last night bowed.

"Good morning, my lady. We came to help you to prepare."

"Prepare? For what?"

They looked at each other with raised brows. "For the day, madame," the other one answered.

Blushing you stepped back letting them in and they immediately set to work. Even if they noticed the untouched bed, they didn't show any signs nor commented it. While you were getting dressed, servants brought breakfast to that small dinning table you saw last night. You bit on your lower lip when you saw only one plate.

"What about.. my husband?"

"His Lordship has already eaten. He woke up early in the morning and currently is at the meeting," one of the maids answered with a light nod to the doors opposite of yours. After that they all left leaving you to eat alone.

You were sitting there, staring at the food while it stared back at you. You had no appetite. Again and again you replayed every minute of the wedding ceremony and the party, looking for any serious mistake you'd done. You certainly did something otherwise he would have come last night. You thought that you were on quite good terms with your husband based on the fact that you were secretly holding hands most of the last evening.

This was bad, so bad. It was a catastrophe. Your father had to already know about everything, he always did. He was certainly so furious. You dreaded to meet him. Moreover if your husband decided to send you back, you definitely wouldn't live to see another day. Father would kill you right away before you even left this place. He didn't need someone as useless as you. There was no way he would forgive you. It wasn't in his nature. High Lord was the highest offer you could get. There was nothing better than that. Your father wouldn't accept any lower offer now.

You couldn't breathe. Panic gripped your insides, suffocating you. If you were back home, you would crawl to the space between your bed and the wall. It was so narrow that you hardly fitted in, but you felt safe there. You used to spend there even whole night after beating or when you were scared like now, you simply hid there and waited until the feeling faded away.

When walls started to close in on you, you left the food as it was and closed yourself in the bedroom, desperately looking for some corner where you could hide. The room was too spacious, too airy for you. It only made things worse. After searching in vain, you tried the bathroom with the same result and at last the closet. There in the back of the room, you found a narrow dark place between some drawer cabinet and the wall. You squeezed in there and sitting down on the floor pulled your knees to the chest as tightly as you could. Finally you could breathe in a small sip of the air, the pressure on your chest gradually eased. The tears began rolling down your cheeks and you sobbed until at some point you passed out from exhaustion.

"So this is where you've been hiding this whole time?"

A deep voice spoke, waking you up. In the distance you heard raindrops drumming on the windows and the air smelled of rain, smoke and apples roasted on fire. You didn't dare to look up, instead you curled up into yourself even more.

"Everyone out there is looking for you since lunch."

"I'm so sorry," you muttered into your knees.

The male sighed heavily. He seemed to be pissed off. "Can you explain me what in the bottomless depths of the Cauldron you're doing here?"

You pressed even harder against the wall, trying to get as far from him as you could. This was it. He had enough of you and there was no witness, so he could freely act upon it.

"I'm so sorry," you sobbed. You knew that no matter what you said, it wouldn't work. It never worked. Yet you couldn't stop apologising, still hoping it could ease the intended punishment.

You heard his footsteps muffled by the carpet as he approached you and got ready.

"I apologise, Y/N" he murmured and his fingers lightly touched your elbow. The smell of smoke was replaced by spicy cinnamon. "I didn't mean... I'm not angry at you. I was just worried sick, thinking that... Ah, it doesn't matter." He struggled with his words.

When you didn't move, he groaned and continued.

"Maids came to report that you are missing as soon as the meeting was over. They said that you looked pale in the morning and that you didn't sleep in the bed nor eat. They thought you went to take a nap. Just imagine how surprised they were when they came to wake you up for lunch and couldn't find you."

His fingers traveled down your forearm to your hand and gently squeezed it. Iciness of his strict deep voice melted, replaced by warmth and tenderness. "What happened? Why are you hiding here?"

You dared to peek at him. Your husband was crouching in front of you, his amber eyes watching you closely. He really didn't seem to be angry, just tired.

"I'm sorry to have caused you worry," you little bit straightened up, still avoiding his eyes.

He gently pulled on your hand. "What happened? You can talk to me. Someone hurt you? Or told you something you didn't like?"

"Are.. are you going to send me back?"

"Nope," Eris chuckled, evidently amused by your silly question. The sound was rich and kind of cute. Your heart did a strange thing. He seemed to be more relaxed than the last night at the party. "Last time I checked on this matter, your father signed that he will never even try to contact you and left with rather a rich reward."

You gaped at him in disbelieve. Your head went completely silent.

"It's true. You will either stay here or call Rhysand to come to pick you up, but you won't go back to your family."

"Thank you, my lord," you smiled genuinely, relief spreading in your chest.

"There you are. Finally smiling," he looked over his shoulder. "I think we should go out and tell everyone that you are fine. I guess they are still looking for you. What do you think?"

You flushed, feeling ashamed. "I'm sorry for causing the troubles."

"It's fine," he waved his hand and helped you to stand up. "At least they are finally doing something meaningful."

Eris left you in the sitting room between your bedrooms and went to stop the search. While he was gone, some servants with trays of steaming food marched in and set it on the table. They again prepared only one plate. Disappointed you looked at heavy double doors with carved ornaments that you hadn't noticed before. You still hoped he would come back.

After a moment the door swung open and one of the maids walked in.

"His Lordship apologizes, but he had to return to his duties," she announced.

Sad that after all he wouldn't come back, you sat down and let servants serve you the meal. Still having no appetite, you at least ate a bit of every dish of the late lunch that they presented you and when you were done they all left except of that one maid. She sat down on small stool in the corner of the room, took out something from under her apron and started embroidering. Your husband apparently made sure that you weren't left alone again.

For a while you watched her dancing hand with a needle and then you moved to a bench under the window, looking out into the drenched garden half hidden in the mist. Despite all the colours, it was quite a melancholic sight yet comforting. It perfectly matched your mood. You watched the colourful flowers and trees until they plunged into darkness.

The dinner went just like the lunch. Servants brought in food and you ate alone. Soon after you were done, other maids came in and ran a bath for you. The other one who spent the afternoon looking after you, meanwhile left. Just as the previous night, they washed you properly, massaged bath oils into your skin and hair, and helped you prepare for the bed. After they were done and cleaned the bathroom, they left.

With heavy heart you took a seat in the very same ottoman and watching the doors, waited. Your bedroom and the sitting room next door were so quiet that you heard the faint ticking of the clock and crackling fire from behind the closed thick doors. Eventually that sounds lulled you to sleep.

Later that night you jolted up, scared by a tremendous crash of thunder. Your heart leaped to your throat. Since you were child, you were scared of storms, its wild sounds echoed through the stone halls even deep under the mountain. However, it was nothing compared to this.

Another thunder rumbled through the sky. You jumped up with a small scream, pressing against the wall on the opposite side of the room, covering your ears with hands. You started pacing back and forth, your body trembled. Opening door of the closet you ran to your new-found safe place, hoping you could weather the storm there, but the sounds of thunder followed you even there.

A particularly bright bolt of lightening crossed the sky, closely followed by sound so strong that the walls shook. That was the last straw and you fled to the sitting room and to the double doors on the opposite side. You hesitated with a hand only inches from the smooth surface of the oak door. Another thunder rumbled around you and your hand met the cold surface before you could change your mind.

Surprisingly, the doors opened right away as if he waited with hand on doorknob. Your husband stood there with messy red hair that had a copper hue in the light of the fire from the hearth. Shirtless, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, he blinked down at you with sleepy eyes. If you weren't so scared, you would stop to take a proper look and blush fiercely.

However, thunder struck again and you leaped to his arms, hiding your face at his muscular chest, your hands looking for something to grip on.

"What..?" he grumbled and stepped back, eyes widely open. His big hands landed on your shoulders, trying to push you away.

The lightning bolt enlightened the room, all decorations rattled and you cried out, clinging to him with arms wrapped around his waist. His brows raised in shock.

The beats of his heart under your face grew stronger and louder than the storm and you opened your eyes sharply, suddenly realizing what you were doing. Your breasts were pressed against his stomach. There was no way he didn't feel them through the thin material of your nightgown. You didn't even want to think about it. With bowed head and gaze focused on the floor you retreated a few steps back, blushing and thanking the Mother that the lights were turned off.

"I'm so-sorry, my lord, I didn't-" your sentence ended with a scream as decorations in the room rattled again.

"You are scared. Of the storm," he stated baffled. Only then his sight fell to your chest and everything bellow it and his cheeks turned pink. He held his breath.

"I'm sorry I woke you up, my lord," you said much calmer than you really felt, still looking at his bare feet.

"No, it's fine." He cleared his throat looking somewhere above your head.

With another too loud thunder you ducked with hands on your ears. Eris stepped closer, arms stretched to you, but then he changed his mind and let them fall back to his sides.

"Ehm.. What should we do?" he muttered under his nose.

"Do-do you want to come in?" he offered gesturing to his room.

"I-I think I could."

He stepped aside, making space for you. Without touching him again you slipped in. His room was just like yours, everything, including even the colours of sheets, was the same. The only difference was that instead of the vanity there was a desk in the corner. Left side of the bed was a mess, the rest was untouched. No personal stuff, favourite paintings, nothing.

Eris watched you with interest as your eyes wandered around his bedroom. Seeing you scantily clad in his private room where he didn't even allow the servants to come clean, was doing something with him. He shook head, exhaling heavily through nose.

"Sit down," he waved to the ottomans. Meanwhile he touched a teapot on the coffee table. It took only a minute and small puffs of steam began to rise from it. He filled one mug and handed it to you. Then he sat in the other one with own cup of tea in hand.

You looked at the windows, wondering whether the storm was already over, because it had been quiet for quite some time. How surprised you were to see the lightening flashing behind the curtains.

"It's just magic. I'm quite light sleeper and don't want to be disturbed," he explained with a small smile.

You lowered your eyes guilty and squeezed the mug. "I'm so sorry for disturbing you, my-"

"Eris," he interrupted you with narrowed eyes and tilted head to the side. One of his brows raised up. "You keep calling me 'my lord'. But we are married couple now and I'm not your...owner." He grimaced at the word. "Call me just Eris. And as I said before, it's fine."

You nodded and sipped the warm tea. You both fell silent unsure of what to say.

The realisation that it's night and you were alone with your husband in the room with bed, hit you suddenly and your heartbeat speeded up. You fought with your feelings and the urgent need to take a look at him, a proper look, until you couldn't resist it anymore. You wanted to get to know him better. Out of all the males you'd ever met, he was the least scary one and the fact that despite everything, he hadn't tried to hurt yet, encouraged you.

You started with his hands. Shyly you looked up at his long, elegant fingers embracing the cup. You quite liked them, their shape and how they felt on your skin. You didn't even need to focus to recall the feeling when they were entwined with yours. Your gaze of its own accord moved up the strong cords of muscles to nicely sculpted biceps.

The bedroom was rather dark, only one small light was on on the bedside table. Yet it provided enough light for you to involuntarily notice small freckles on his shoulders. There were dozens of them and you caught yourself thinking that you would like to try to count them. Your cheeks heated once again, but it didn't stop you.

Next your gaze shifted to the largest display of thoroughly shaped flesh and tight skin, to his chest. You knew nothing about these things, yet you had to admit that it was very nice chest. Even just simply looking from the distance, did funny things with your body and you felt tingling in your lower belly. If you remembered it correctly, his skin felt smooth and hot under your face, his flesh soft and firm at the same time. Dusted with a few lovely freckles, it rose and fell with quite rapid breaths.

Eris wasn't bulky, rather lean, but still so strong. A warrior.

You wanted to continue down to his stomach where you noticed a lot of interesting looking shadows you'd like to study closely, but it felt inappropriate. Not that what you were doing right now wasn't, but you couldn't stop yourself. You were always scared to properly look at people, to see them and the details of their faces. With your husband it was different, as if something was calling you, inviting you to take a look.

Wanting to see his handsome face again, to explore it and commit it to your memory, your eyes traveled up over the column of his neck to his chin. His Adam apple bobbed as he swallowed, arteries pulsed in wild rhythm that matched yours.

He was perfectly shaved, there didn't seem to be a single hair left out on his face. His lips in a nice shade of pink were full, the lower lip fuller than the upper one, and slightly parted. You knew that they not only seemed to be but really were soft. You still could feel their touch on yours and to be honest, you'd like to taste them again. Did they still taste of honey and alcohol or could you taste herbs now? You'd really like to get the answer. His lips quirked into a boyish grin and stayed like that.

Your gaze skimmed over freckles on his high cheeks and straight nose. Damn, you wanted to count them so badly now. Would you ever get a chance to try it? At least once and you'd never ask for more.

Lost in that beauty and your imagination, your gaze wandered to his eyes partly hidden under slightly furrowed arches of brows, and their colour immediately caught your attention. They seemed to shine in the dimly lit room, flames dancing in them. His gaze bore into you with such intensity that you felt wetness gathering between your legs. You turned into a panting mess, suddenly feeling uncomfortably hot in your own skin.

"What are you doing?" His deep, hoarse voice snapped you from trans and you blinked.

While you were admiring him, the air in the room grew thicker, strong scents middling together.

"I-.." You didn't know what to say, mouth completely dry, too ashamed of your shameless behaviour. You shouldn't behave like this, it didn't suit a lady.

His grin widened. "Do you like what you see?" your husband teased you.

"I-.." you shifted uncomfortably, your eyes moved to his lips, then to his chest and back up to those marvellous eyes.

"You what, Y/N? You can be honest with me."

You inhaled sharply, your face flushed with even more shame. "Yes, I like it, m-"

"Tsk tsk tsk. I think I told you to call me by my name."

"I like it, Eris," you murmured.

His eyes closed briefly and he exhaled deeply, making a strange noise. It sounded like a growl.

"Say it again. My name," he specified when you gave him questioning look.

You hesitated for a moment. There was something about him that made your pulse skyrocket. He was dangerous predator, able to kill with a single thought, but strangely, you wouldn't mind to be his prey. You didn't know him at all, yet you felt a connection between the two of you. And you longed to explore it more, to see what he was capable of.

"Eris," you whispered into silence between you.

Frowning with closed eyes he made the same noise. One second he was sitting in ottoman with mug in hand, the next one both mugs were left on the table and he was kneeling next to you. Even on his knees he was so tall that his eyes were level with yours. Those long fingers that fascinated you moments ago, found yours, entwining with them while his fiery eyes burned your body and soul in the most pleasant way. Room felt so hot suddenly that you had the urge to open the windows, get rid of any clothing you had on you and expose your bare skin to a cooling rain.

"Y/N," he groaned, his gaze slowly fell to your lips.

You were so attracted to him that it had to be result of some kind of spell. Not having enough strength to resist it anymore, you gave in. Still longing to taste his full lips you leaned in slightly. His eyes returned to yours, searching. Whatever he saw, it seemed to work. His softness brushed over your lips, tenderly pulling them into a kiss.

His lips were just like you remembered them, soft and sturdy at the same time, tasting like honey and tea he drank. You wondered where that sweet taste came from because there was no jar of honey in this room nor the tea was sweet. Deciding it had to be taste of him, you moaned.

Your lips parted briefly, but he was fast. His tongue slipped in with ease, hungrily exploring your mouth. You gasped at the new sensation. Everything was new to you. You were taught some theoretical basics, but never practised them.

His body pushed against yours until you were almost lying, hands on the back of your head and your waist navigating you. Thin material of you nightgown presented no barrier between your bodies. You felt him everywhere, but it wasn't enough. You needed more.

You reached for him, needing to feel his hot skin. As soon as the tips of your fingers lightly brushed over his shoulder, he abruptly pushed away, breaking the kiss.

He backed to the center of the room, hands running through thick red strands. All the warmth left together with him and you were left trembling, confused and lonely without his closeness.

Both of you were heaving heavily. He averted his fiery eyes, hand reaching for a handle. As if instantly remembering something, his hand dropped to his side.

"We should go to sleep. It's late. I have a lot of work to do, so I have to get up early."

Shirt appeared in his hands and he quickly put it on. "You can sleep here tonight."

Without looking at you again he climbed to the bed, waiting for you. You were desperately needing time to compose yourself, to understand what just happened, why your body betrayed you and reacted the way it did, but you couldn't keep him waiting. You slipped under the covers on the other side, lying on your back stiffly like a board.

Eris turned off the light, mirroring you. You were sure you wouldn't be able to even close your eyes with him so close. You were just laying there, nervously gazing at ceiling.

In the darkness his hand found yours, gently squeezing it. Within seconds pleasant warmth spread into your body and your eyelids grew heavy. Just before you slipped into a realm of dreams, Eris turned to his side, facing you and whispered lowly.

"Good night, love."

#ghost of love #gol #eris fanfic #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x reader #eris vandaddy #eris fic #eris x you #acotar #eris acosf #acosf #sarah j maas #acotar fanfiction

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redamancyys · 1 year

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All Around Me - Kaz Brekker

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, oral (fem recieving), cursing, unedited.

WORDS ◆ 3.7k

REQUEST(S) ◆ based off of this request, though i did stray a little. basically kaz and the reader have sex for the first time!

AUTHOR'S NOTE ◆ sooooo this ended up being a lot steamy-er than i intended, but i hope that you enjoy it, because i definitely liked writing this one!

To say that the desire was eating you both up from the inside was an understatement.

Kaz had never wanted a person the way that he wanted you. It was a raw, carnal desire that came from deep within him. He had never been a person who ached for touch until he met you, he wished that he was able to be the man that could grab you by your hips without spiraling into a panic, or could kiss you for as long as you wanted without having to take a break because his internal thoughts were becoming too much to handle.

You would always explain to him that it wasn’t his fault.

Hushed whispers, your hands placed ever so carefully on his clothed body, trying to keep him grounded whenever the aversion got too bad. You had seen him at his worst, where he had to put his head in between his knees in order to stop the flashbacks from coming back to him. Though sometimes no matter how hard you tried, Kaz would morph back into that little boy again, feeling his brother's dead motionless flesh against his own as he floated back ashore. He would feel alone, no matter how much you tried to explain that you were here, he didn’t have to worry, he wasn’t there, he was safe.

And what was even worse, he felt like he was somehow disappointing you. He was with you, but you couldn’t even touch his bare skin without him spiraling into a mess. No matter how many times you explained that you were there for him, that you were always going to make sure that he was okay, there was still a piece of him that wished he was different. But Kaz’s wishes never came true, it would never magically go away. He had to face this head on if he was ever going to be able to properly love you, and for you, he was willing to try anything.

That had been a few months ago, and since then the two of you had worked very hard to overcome his aversion. You went slow, placing bare hands against each other, small kisses, anything that you could think of that would be enough to help but also just enough to not make Kaz feel uncomfortable. It had gotten to the point where you two were able to cuddle with one another, his hands could go up and down your spine and paint small drawings on the skin of your arm and legs. And you could do the same towards him. After a while, you both were able to take your tops off, explore those parts of your bodies, and every time you went farther, the desire began to creep its way into both of your chests. Both of you were aware what the next step was, you both weren’t dumb, but neither of you had the inclination to talk about it. It was like the two of you were dancing around the conversation, doing everything that you could to not bring it up.

Wylan and Jesper were always talking about it. Well, that was a lie, Jesper was usually the one that would talk about it with you. He always talked about the pining, the excitement of getting to explore your lover's body . . . it was something that you wanted but had never experienced before and before you knew it, you were sitting on your shared bed with Kaz, trying to concentrate on a book while he did his paperwork at his desk. You took a moment to stare at him, watching as his hands pressed against the paper, quill etching sounds into the silence between the both of you. You took your bottom lip into your teeth, sucking in a harsh breath. You could do this.

“Kaz, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

You could’ve gone about it a different way, because the moment Kaz stopped what he was doing and turned to face you, there was a hint of worry in his expression. Most of the time when a person told another that they had to talk to them about something, it was bad news, and you were quick to assure him that it was nothing of the sort. “Nothing bad, I promise. I just wanted to bring an idea up to you.” His face immediately softened, one that you knew he didn’t share with many. You took a moment to study his expressive eyes, your own going from them to his lips, the ones that you wished were kissing the delicate skin on your body. Giving him a tiny smile, you said, “I wanted to see what you . . . thought about having sex with me? We’ve been getting to that point for a while now and I just thought that it wouldn’t hurt to ask if you wanted to go all the way?”

This was definitely something that he wasn’t expecting to come out of his mouth, especially because of the unspoken barrier between the both of you when it came to talking about these types of things. Of course he wanted to, saints, if he could he would take you right then and there but you and him knew that it would take a lot more mental preparation on his end for this to happen. And perhaps for a moment you thought that you had struck a nerve with him, that he would dismiss the idea and you would leave to compose yourself, but that was far from the truth. Instead he set down the quill and turned to face you completely, his gloved hands playing with one another as an attempt to ground. You didn’t move, eyes attentively staring, waiting for him to say something. Kaz eventually opened his mouth to say, “Of course I want to have sex with you.” He said it as though you were dumb thinking that he wasn’t, but you knew that this was his way of trying to guard himself from the actual thoughts that came into his head. “I think I just need a little time to prepare first-” “Yes! I know, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable first,” You cut him off, not wanting him to think that you were going to pressure him.

Soon enough you two were discussing the logistics, almost as if you were scheduling a business meeting of a sort. It made you chuckle at first, but as the days went by, closer to the date that the two of you planned to finally go the final step, your nerves began to jumble up.

You sat down at the edge of his bed, very reminiscent of a few days ago when you popped the question, but instead of Kaz sitting at his desk, he was sitting beside you. His breathing was slightly rigid, he was nervous which you completely understood. In order to comfort him, you placed your hand on his gloved one, looking at him with a look of kindness in an attempt to show him that you were nervous too.

“I love you,” You said to him.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

One finger at a time, you began to pull his gloves off of his hand, and then the other one, setting the pair onto the bedside table. You held one of his hands with yours while the other one made its way to the back of his neck, pressing soft kisses to his lips. Kaz responded by putting his hand on your waist, eagerly kissing you back. He pulled you closer to him, until you got the idea of straddling his waist, legs on either side of him as you sat on his lap. This kissing went on for a while, semi for comfort but also for pleasure, as you knew that you would never get tired of kissing Kaz Brekker. His lips tasted like honeyed tea and you relished in the notion that you would be the only one who ever got to taste such a sweet thing.

You were still sitting on his thighs and you needed him more than ever now. That familiar feeling that bubbled up inside of you whenever you two got this far began to resurface, causing the kissing to become even more fast paced, filled with want and need. Though the most enjoyable part was that the two of you were having fun, taking moments to stop and admire one another. For a moment a sly smile came across his lips and you wiped it away with a kiss, going back to the fast pace that had been set before. Your hands came and tentatively went under his shirt, feeling the taut skin of his chest with calm and courteous fingers, not wanting to upset him, though clearly beginning to fog up the idea of being gentle. The thought of him above you with a body like that? It made you falter in your movements. He was beautiful, and you were sure that you would never allow him to forget it.

Using the break in your concentration to his advantage, Kaz began mouthing along your skin, knowing that your neck was sensitive in a multitude of places and skimming your skin with his teeth ever so gently, hands pulling up your shirt above your head. His eyes scanned your body, raising an eyebrow. “No bra?” He asked, making you shy away and look anywhere but at his face. You didn’t reply, but he seemed to not like that. His hand came and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. You gave a small smile, “I wanted to be comfy.” He hummed, somewhat disappointed in your answer but not disappointed at how compliant you seemed to be with him. Kaz went back to kissing your neck, teeth grazing along your soft skin, making you jump whenever he bit down on a particular spot.

You were beginning to grow impatient. Perhaps it was with the way that he was worshiping you, wanting to kiss every single inch of you and make you keel into his touch over and over again. Or maybe it was because no one had ever made you feel this way before. You hadn’t been with others before, never trying to get this far with the men of Ketterdam for fear of ruin or awkwardness in the morning. You had only longed for Kaz before.

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them and kneading them together, fingers coming to pinch your nipples. Your back arched into him and you almost fell over on top of him, using your hands on his muscles to stop you. You reached and decided you wanted to please him, to show him how much you wanted him. You trailed your hands under his shirt and came to the band of his pants, pushing your fingers past it and making your way down. Before you could hit his obvious hard on, one of his own hands came and grasped your wrists, pulling your hand away. You looked up, thinking that you did something wrong. Tilting your head, you gave him a silent what? Maybe you had made him uncomfortable, and he was trying to come up with a way to tell you off.

Though that didn’t seem to be the case when Kaz’s lips offered a smirk.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Kaz explained. In one movement he put his hands to your back and flipped you two over, him now on top of you. Your head hit the mattress with a small humph and wondered what he had in store for you.

You worked with him to shimmy your pants and panties off, throwing them to some side of the room. His hands splayed against your thighs and you watched with an open mouth to see what he was going to do. He gave you a look, a familiar one that reminded you that you were actually here with him, no one else, the two of you were doing this amazing thing together. Your heart swelled with adoration as you thought that this was the man that you loved, the one that you trusted more than anyone else in the entire world. You were also well aware of the slick that was beginning to coat your thighs, body betraying you and showing him how much you wanted him, how you ached for him. Kaz seemed to like it though, bringing his flesh hand to your slit and scooping some of it up. When he brought his hand back up, you could see the way that it glistened on his skin, popping a finger into his mouth and humming sinfully at the taste. He did it again and again, humming every single time your arousal hit his tongue. You looked down with heated cheeks, feeling a little embarrassed that you were getting so worked up over something so small. “You taste . . .” He trailed off, bringing his tongue to your folds and swiping up from your hole to your clit. “Amazing.”

“It’s all for you,” You said, wiggling your hips and urging him to pleasure you again. Kaz smirked, feeling a sense of pride wash over him at your words. He brought a finger to you and pushed it in, watching your mouth open into a wide ‘O’ at the feeling. He curled it up, making your muscles tighten around him. Kaz built a steady pace and he came back up to your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek sweetly as if he couldn’t hear the lewd sounds that were being created when he added a second finger in.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” He said, towering over you. His thumb rubbed against your clit while his fingers fucked into you. “To see you under me like this.” The both of you seemed to have this desire for each other for the longest time.

You moaned out at his words, thighs clenching around his hand to keep him there. You couldn’t respond, too busy thinking about the steady fire that was building in you. You reached to climb higher, hoping he would grant you some kind of release. He didn’t give it to you though. Instead, whenever you were getting to that tipping point, he would stop all of his movements altogether until you stopped shaking, then repeat the process over and over again. It was making you go crazy, how he had the power to push you towards release but he just wouldn’t do it.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t. As if to test you further, he pushed a third finger into you, making you moan out his name loud and roll your eyes to the back of your skull. His thumb kept rubbing languid circles on your clit. You thought if you stayed quiet you could sneak an orgasm, cut him off guard. But as if he heard your thoughts, his movements stalled and he put his other hand firmly on your hips so you couldn’t even move against his statue-like hand. His dark eyes bore into your own and you squeezed around his fingers. “You make me feel so good, Kaz.” The praise fell from your lips with ease, lava pooling in your stomach as if threatening to burst at any moment. If only he would just rub a little bit more . . .

He pulled his hand away from you. Kaz didn’t even respond to your statement and you wondered if you said something wrong, if he had enough. And he had enough all right, but not enough of you. He wanted to see you cum, just around his cock and not his fingers. But you couldn’t hear what he was thinking, which made you whimper when he pulled himself away fully, standing at the edge of the bed. You opened your legs up to him, the farthest that you could go without hurting yourself and hoping that it would make him come back to you quickly. Your clit was aching from several denied orgasms, almost thinking about pulling your hand down to finish yourself off, though deciding against it when knowing Kaz would never allow something like that. He liked seeing you writhing like this.

Kaz’s hands shed all his clothing. He wasn’t exactly putting on a show for you but you marveled anyways, watching the way that his muscles flexed when his shirt came off and how you wanted to lick all around his abdominal region and make your way all down to his cock, which was pressed against his stomach and slightly glistening with precum. It was big and felt your insides clench just thinking about it sliding into you. Once he was satisfied with his clothing off, he came back down to the bed and kneeled between your spread legs.

“Kaz,” You whispered. “Please.”

There was a hint of mischief in his eyes and it took all of your strength to not roll your eyes. “What do you want me to do to you?” Of course he wanted to hear you say it, to announce what he was inevitably going to do. You couldn’t ignore the way you loved how controlling he was with you, how he ordered you to do some things. And as much as you hated that he didn’t let you cum, you also loved how he would make you cum when he wanted you to, not you. He took his cock into his hands and rubbed the tip against your glistening folds, teasing you in the most sinful way possible.

“Please . . . Fuck me Kaz. Make me cum, I can’t take it anymore.” You just wanted him inside of you so badly, you were going to scream if this went on for any longer. He was right there, denying you both the pleasure. With a nod of his head, he pushed into you in one fluid motion. The feeling of him bottoming out inside of you made you grip onto his bicep, pulling him close so his warm chest was against your own again. He wasted no time moving, the sound of it deliciously sweet in your ears. Kaz took your legs and pushed them upwards, your feet hanging off of his shoulders and pressing your thighs further up until they were almost hitting the mattress. The change in position had you crying out, feeling him hit deeper inside of you.

You could feel every single scrape of his cock against your walls, increasing that fire in your stomach until you were sure you were about to cum. He kept at it with such loyalty and vigor, his motivation to make you feel the best you ever had fuelling him to a tenfold. He was such a devoted man to begin with, so you should’ve known that he would handle things the same way in bed.

You squeezed around him. “Please,” You whimpered.

“Go ahead.” Those two words were all you needed, allowing yourself to scream out as your orgasm ripped through you, built up again and again and now it was finally here and it was amazing. It rippled through you like shockwaves, and made you go limp under him, legs completely boneless. Kaz didn’t let up as he rode through your orgasm, keeping the same pace with you. He was unforgiving, not giving you time to adjust and instantly making you feel the feeling of overstimulation. You were so sensitive to his cock ramming in and out of you that you could feel a second orgasm already building up. The tip of him hit a particularly nice spot in you and you yelled, curling your toes and your hands came to tangle and grip in his hair. You almost stopped for a moment thinking that you were hurting him, but when you looked at his face, you saw only fucked out bliss, white incisors showing in a ravenous grin. His eyes opened and they were almost fully dark, making you shiver.

“You feel so good,” He mumbled, as though he was talking to himself. He was completely thrown into the pleasure that you were giving him, hot and warm and just perfect , like you were made for his cock to be rammed into over and over again. “Made for me, all for me.” He used your past words, them never losing their meaning no matter how many times he muttered under his breath.

Time seemed to slow and grow faster at the same time, the whole room disappearing as both of you focused on only each other. You weren’t sure how many times he had made you cum at this point, you took whatever he gave you and took it well. When you got enough strength to crane your neck down, you watched as your hole enveloped his cock, it coming back out slicked with the remnants of your past orgasms. Kaz saw where your eyesight was and a sense of pride washed over him again. “Do you like watching that? Seeing how well you take me?” He asked, egging you on. His hand went to grab your own and placed it on your lower abdomen, and you could feel the skin slightly raising up every time he went into you. You could see it too, sliding in and out. Though, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself, his movements were beginning to falter. He was becoming more sloppy with his hips and you knew he was about to cum. So, to give him what he had worked for, you wiggled your hips up, matching his hips. Your oversensitive clit rubbed against the base of his cock and you were clenching around him, and as if on cue, you were cumming again, feeling weak under him. Kaz wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up, his cock splitting you open until he was spilling inside of you.

The moans that left his mouth were probably the hottest things you had ever felt in your life. You could feel his cum dripping down his cock, coating your thighs and dripping onto the soiled sheets. He put you down on the bed and followed you, eyes watching your own and kissing your sweaty forehead. He finally stopped moving and stilled inside, not wanting to leave you. He didn’t want to leave this moment and neither did you.

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ayabeanworks · 11 months

Text

Title: Hold me tighter

Synopsis: You knew Suguru wasn't well, and you did everything within your power to be there for him, including inviting yourself on a certain mission where two young girls were rescued.

Character: Geto Suguru x reader

Series: Let's Meet in the Spring (SaShiSu x reader)

Notes: Fluff, angst, swearing, feral!reader who probably hung out with Gojo too much, Geto pining, mentions of death and alludes to depression. AU where Geto doesn't defect.

Somewhat of a prequel to this AU.

You were amazing. You were strong. You were also terrifying.

That's how Geto Suguru saw you during a certain mission.

He and you had been assigned on the mission in a small town inhabiting only more of 100 people, with weird things like deaths and disappearances of the villagers.

You begged the higher ups to go because you were worried about Suguru's health, and you didn't want to leave him alone. You had noticed a downward spiral from him, and these days, it seemed to be getting worse. You also had a very bad feeling about this mission, and you were going to do whatever you could to make sure Suguru's sanity remained intact.

Even if the elders said no, you were going to go anyway. And that's exactly what you did.

"What exactly is this?"

Suguru had an expression of exasperation as he saw the young girls locked up in the wooden cage, bloodied and bruised, holding onto each other for support.

You could smell the thick scent of blood in the air, as well as see the dried, old patches of blood here and there when you eyes darted around the room. Apart from blood, there were other smells, similar to an abandoned alleyway where the homeless would reside.

Your jaw clenched and your eyes, widened with the need to see every and anything in the room, hoped they were lying when they landed on the girls. You counted the number of bruises on their limbs, the blood on their clothes, the blood on their face, the eye injuries each of them had.

It made your blood run cold. They looked to be just around 6-7 years old, only just old enough to understand and learn more complicated math in a school setting.

Not here.

Not here, bloodied and bruised.

It was like something inside you snapped, and all inhibitions went out the window. Like boiling water, it started to simmer, and you slowly turned to the two villagers as they conversed with Suguru, holding down your anger as your fists clenched and released.

"What do you mean? They're the cause of this, right?" One of the two who accompanied you both raised a hairy brow, his arm raising and trying to make a point.

"No." You could feel Suguru trying to continue being polite, but the slight edge in his voice was obvious.

"But those two strange ones are using their strange powers to attack the villagers!"

"I've already determined the cause of the incidents." Suguru gave a statement, one that he determined after being in the village for 5 days with you.

"My grandson was killed by these two." The older lady chipped in, a terrible frown on her wrinkly features.

Ugly.

Your shoulders relaxed and a light exhale released from your lips. You took a couple of steps forward to stand by Suguru, placing a hand on his shoulder softly, patting it a couple of times.

So they want to die?

Suguru glanced at you, his hand still up, about to summon a curse as he battled with his inner demons.

You gave him a little smile, one you'd give him all the time, but the underlying feeling made him tense. It was much darker, much more sinister.

"He's the one who-!" The girls from the cage exclaimed, but was shut down by the shouting of the male villager.

"Shut up, you monster!!! Your parents were exactly the same! We should have killed you when you were babies!"

"Shut the fuck up."

A loud thump from your fist embued with cursed energy, as well as a resounding crack from the same area tore a bloodhurdling scream from the middle aged male villager.

Suguru's eyes widened as his tensed hand lowered to his side, lips parting in shock at your actions.

That was the first time Suguru has ever seen you so angry you snapped. It sent chills down his spine and the hairs on his body to raise. His body tensed from the accumulation of cursed energy around you.

"Does having a broken rib hurt?" Your words were laced with worry, but with the unyielding mocking tilt in it, it was hardly convincing. "Do you want me to break your arm as well? That'll numb the pain a little."

You strode forward a couple of steps, coming in closer to the older male, crouching down slightly as you grabbed his arm roughly, pulling him in as your foot landed on the shoulder of the arm you pulled, about to dislocate his arm with a rough pull.

A strangled cry for you to stop made you raise your brow as a scowl adorned your face. Your eyes narrowed at the man below you. He was breathing heavily as he grabbed your ankle, trying to pry you off weakly, but to no avail. His grip was painfully weak, and he was struggling to breathe. You wondered if the broken rib pierced his lungs or any other organ?

"Oh? You want me to stop?" You taunted, an amused chuckle resonating through your chest. "Did you stop when you and the village were tormenting those poor kids? Beating them up and locking them up in here?" You dug your heel into his shoulder as you pushed him into the concrete wall, twisting it a couple of times for good measure. He writhed in pain as his grip on your ankle tightened, but you pulled at his arm, making him scream out.

The older lady on the side, who had been trembling the whole time in shock, suddenly let out a screech and flung herself at you, her arms flailing to hit you to let go of her fellow villager.

You grit your teeth as you grab the village man's arm with your left arm, using your elbow as an anchor point to throw a perfectly timed slap to the woman's face, causing her to hit the wall next to him after spinning in the air a couple of times.

"Wow, didn't know a human could spin so much. Especially for an old lady!" You light up into a smile. The smile didn't reach your eyes and was instead habouring a deep hatred for the types of people you were fighting, ready to rip off their arms and limbs if necessary.

"You can join you grandson now. I'm sure he's waiting for you."

What a sorry excuse for a human being.

"[name]..." Suguru called our your name hesitantly, glancing at the two girls in the wooden cage. They were trembling, hugging each other as they watched you. However, it didn't seem like they were scared. Their eyes showed admiration, and were widened in a surprise that could be interpreted as positive.

His eyes once again landed on you. You didn't even react to him saying your name - it was like you were in a state of mania, with such a fluctation in temperament and emotions, it felt like a different person. It didn't feel like you.

Did he even know you?

Who was the person in front of him?

He looked back at the girls, walking a couple of steps closer before trying to shield what you were doing with his body.

"Answer my question. Did you or did you not stop when you were tormenting those kids?" You looked to the wall where the woman hit, seeing her barely unconscious on the ground after the smack made her life flash before her very eyes.

The villager man screamed, "I-AAHHh-hah, you...you'RE THE DEVIL!"

"Oh, wow, you think I'm the devil?" You didn't even miss a beat at responding, giving him a doe eyed look to vouch for your innocence. Your expression shifted to a crazed grin, a laughter erupting in your throat as you pulled roughly at his arm, a loud pop ringing in the air as you dislocated it. You let him scream, collapsing over as you let go of his arm, allowing it to drop to his side as he cried, streaks of tears staining his shirt as drool flowed out of his mouth at the pain. You lean in, a smile on your lips as you coo at his current state, "Honey, if I'm the devil, then what are you and the other villagers? I think you're all devil's incarnate, so we should be the same, no? Why the scared face? Just like you said, I'm a devil. No, we're both devils."

You watch as his expression contorts to one where he wanted to scream something in your face, anger taking hold of him as the fear takes a seat. He was sweating, and the colour was draining from his face from the pain you inflicted.

You could only chuckle at his sorry state, clicking your tongue at him a couple of times. "But there's one thing you got wrong, darling. I'm not the devil, I'm your grim reaper."

You pull your foot back as the man's consciousness finally breaks, and he slumps over to join his fellow unconscious villager after enduring the pain.

"Didn't even answer the fucking question." You muttered, clicking your tongue once more. You fished your phone from your pocket and gave a call to the Windows nearby to alert them of what happened.

As you did so, Suguru watched you. He was frozen in his spot, unable to move. He was in shock at the way you handled the two just now. It was different to when you sparred together, and it made him realise you always unconsciously held back.

While he watched you release your anger at them, he had calmed down. His mind and heart less cloudy than before as he watched everything unfold before him. It gave him a rationality of thought, juxtaposed with your outburst. It almost made thinking a lot easier, with you by his side in such a state.

It reminded him of his best friend Satoru, and he wondered how much time you spent with him to become like this. After all, that mocking tone and speech was actually quite similar that it scared him - or, did you have this side hidden the whole time, but had control over yourself that you didn't break until the situation called for it?

By no means did he condone what you did, but if you didn't handle it the way you did, he didn't know what he would've done. He was so close to breaking that it was almost a miracle he didn't.

"[name]." Suguru repeated your name again after you finished your phone call, taking a couple of steps towards you.

"Hm, yes, Sugu?" You questioned him with a genuine smile. Your usual smile was on your lips as you tilt your head slightly at him, wondering what he wanted to ask.

He paused, wondering which was the real you. The switch was so fast, and oh so sudden. Your cursed energy had dissipated and wasn't so condensed, and your calm temperament was back. It confused him, and he wondered if he was in the wrong for thinking of such horrible things before you literally broke a person's rib.

He grabbed the hand you used to hit the man in the stomach and slap the other, seeing no injuries. Gliding his thumb over the areas that made contact, he closed his eyes for a moment, heaving a light sigh, before making eye contact with you again.

"We should get the girls to safety." You nod to the girls in the cage, placing a hand on Suguru's hand as you pat it a couple of times before releasing from his grip.

Suguru watched as you broke the lock of the cage, taking the girls out carefully. They latched onto you and murmured quiet thank yous as they cried in your arms. It hurt his heart to see such young children suffer from the hands of horrible adults. They didn't deserve this.

He walked over and leaned down slightly, placing his large hands on the girls' heads, gently ruffling their hair. He also ruffled your one too since you were crouched down to their level, a funny noise coming from your throat at the unexpected affection. Seeing your reaction, the girls glanced at each other and did the same, placing their hands gently on your head as they pet it like they did a small animal.

You laughed lightly, a sound so delightful to Suguru's ears at this current moment that it slowly wedged its way into his darker thoughts.

"The Windows should be here soon," You looked from Suguru to the girls, "We'll be taking you back with us. You'll be provided shelter and food, and life will be much better than here." You grabbed a hand from each girl, thumb caressing the back of their hand.

They fervently nodded their heads, ready to depart from the wretched village they used to call home.

The minute the four of you arrived back at Jujutsu High, you were pulled over by an angry Yaga, who began berating you for going on the mission regardless of what the elders have said, and that you were to see them immediately.

"This is unlike you, [name]! Suguru could have handled it on his own." Yaga pinched his nose bridge, obviously frustrated at your handling of the situation.

You crossed your arms, quickly glancing over at Suguru, the girls and the Window accompanying them. They were watching you, and the girls were getting tugged to go to Shoko for their injuries, but they didn't want to leave since you were getting yelled at.

You met Geto's eyes, which held yours for a moment, before you looked back at Yaga with a heavy exhale. "Well, yes." You said simply. Yaga stared at you like you'd grown another head, wondering why what you said was different from your actions.

"Since you understand that, then why--"

"So do the elders want to see me now?" You interrupted. You didn't want to hear it from him nor did you want to elaborate. It wasn't like they were going to understand what you were doing anyway.

Yaga made an expression he normally did when dealing with Satoru, before sighing. "They'll see you now. You're probably not going to get out of this unscathed."

"So what are they going to do? Kill me? The villagers are still alive and well, just a little bit in pain." You waved at the girls and Suguru as you left with Yaga.

"I'll be back in a bit. Gonna get ripped a new one." You joked light-heartedly. It was the elders, after all. They're going to rip into any and every material and weakness they had on you so they could bring you under their control.

But you weren't going to succumb.

No fucking way.

Suguru watched as you left, his waving hand falling to his side. He felt little hands grab his pants as you left, each one belonging to the little girls saved.

"Is [name] going to get in trouble for saving us?" Their worried tone of voice was so sweet, so young, it hurt Geto.

He shook his head, "Only a little bit. But they'll be ok." He placed his large hands on each of their heads and ruffled their hair gently, careful not to get any healing areas.

"I think [name] will be happy if you go to Shoko and get healed up." Suguru nodded at the Window, who tried to get the little girls with them.

The girls stared up at him for a moment, then let go and nodded, trusting his words. They each grabbed the Window's hands and asked them to lead the way.

And, Geto Suguru was alone once again with his thoughts, the whole fiasco weighing on his mind as his feet took him to your room.

Geto Suguru wandered why he sat in your room all the time. He practically lived in there now, with how often he was there instead of his own room or house.

You often dragged him when you saw him alone, to your room so he could keep you company, citing 'loneliness', but really, later down the track he realised he was the one needing your company instead, and he looked forward to when he was able to be around you. He also knew you weren't really 'lonely', but rather wanted him to know someone was willing to be there for him.

Could you read minds?

Sure, his other best friend Satoru wasn't around as often due to taking more solo missions, and Shoko was in the morgue, but at least he was able to see her. But out of the three, he saw you the most, and he was glad he did.

When did it start?

He wondered when he started coming to yours, now considered normal without any asking, without any hesitation.

He thinks it was right after the mission with Riko, the star plasma vessel. That was when you started inviting him to things way more often, trying whatever you could to fill up his time and space whenever Satoru and Shoko weren't there. So he was never alone.

The compliments, the time, attention, and love he was showered was almost too much for him when he realised it after this specific mission, and he had to lean forward and hold his head in his hands as the burden of his own thoughts made his eyes glassy.

The one who had reached out their hand, unwavering and steady, was you.

It was always you.

And since it started, the others did their best to support whenever they could, and that would've been an effort on your behalf, most likely you letting them know what you were doing.

Geto let out a choked sob as he let the tears fall in silence. Even though it tore him inside with which side he wanted to take when it came to protecting or not protecting non-sorcerers, he thought of you, he thought of Satoru, and he thought of Shoko. He thought of the girls you and him rescued, and the lives of the other sorcerers he went to school with. He thought of the non-sorcerers who didn't understand what it meant to live as a shaman, and he thought of the ones who cried and thanked him gratefully.

He hated the Jujutsu society and how it was structured. He hated how non-sorcerers were the bane and root of their existence, and the discrimination that comes with being a Jujutsu sorcerer as a minority.

Even though he was combating the very notion of accepting either side of the war raging inside him, he wondered how you were able to be as you are. How you were able to continue on your missions, how you were able to continue on the marathon race called shamantism? Did it not affect you?

But he knew it did, but how deeply he did not know.

He had heard you crying your heart out for Haibara, who was easily one of your favourite underclassmen, alone, when you woke up in the middle of the night before and during the mission you both came back from. But, even though he heard your sobs and cries, he couldn't say anything. All he could do was pretend to sleep and move so one of his arms was draping over you stomach, his forehead touching your shoulder as a way of saying 'I'm here for you'.

He would notice the way you calmed down when he did so, and it was something he noted for next time.

In his mind, he could recognise your smile and your voice, every one of your words drilled into his head as the tears fell onto the floorboards.

He was originally doing this for himself and wanted a solid foundation to base his beliefs off. Before, it was strong, but after the Riko mission, it faltered, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue down the same path.

And now, he was at a crossroad.

He wanted to trust in those who had faith in him, and the good in the people who were not the bad kind of non-sorcerers. Because the world had both. If his noble cause was just to protect the weak, those who weren't able to protect themselves and were good people, then so be it. Those who were corrupt, there will be another punishment waiting for them.

And so, he made up his mind.

"Sugu! Those elders put me under house arrest! For disobeying orders!" You opened the door to your room, half exclaiming and half grinning at the punishment given.

You gave a momentary pause when you saw Suguru with his head in his hands, hunched over where he normally sat at the foot of your bed.

With your arrival, he looked up, his loose hair slightly covering his face. But you could tell, he looked like he'd been crying, or was he still crying?

You took off your shoes, shut the door and immediately made a beeline to him, standing between his legs and cupping his cheeks with both your hands as you stared at him, searching his eyes for answers, for reasons, for everything. He stared up at you, sniffing every couple of seconds as his tears dried.

"Sugu." Your voice was a whisper, "What are you thinking?"

The softness of your voice didn't go unnoticed. Suguru always noticed. His hands hesitantly held your wrist, fingers wrapped around loosely so if you wanted to get out of his grip, you could.

The silence was palpable. It was heavy, and it tasted thick. He could only feel the warmth of your hands on his face and the warmth radiating off the close proximity of your body.

Since you didn't get an answer straight away, you gently swiped your thumb in the area just under his eyes like he did for you, on both sides, one at a time. He blinked a couple of times, the grip on your wrists loosening further as it fell down between his legs.

When you ran your fingers through his hair as a makeshift comb, he closed his eyes, basking in the affection you gave him, calming his tumultuous heart.

"Thank you..." His words were quiet, all too quiet that it seemed like you were the only one who he spoke to, in the bubble of the two of you, "For coming with me on that mission."

You hummed lightly as you continued to thread your hands through his hair, giving him a light head massage here and there as he struggled to find the words to convey his thoughts to you.

"I wavered." It was a statement, a statement that had many emotions in it, spoken to himself more than to you. It made you pause your movements, the raw feeling of his words sinking into you as you waited for him to continue, along with your massage.

"After Riko's death, those non-sorcerers, those monkeys, I can still hear them clapping, applauding her death." Suguru lets out a breathy sigh at the end, finally letting out his thoughts. "I used to believe the strong exists to protect the weak. But now...what about the strong? The strong are dying because of these non-sorcerers, because they aren't able to control their cursed energy, and they create curses that cause our deaths. There's no end."

"Being a Jujutsu sorcerer is a marathon race. What if...at the end, it's just a pile of our corpses? Our friends' corpses?" Suguru opened his eyes again, holding a sadness in his eyes he wasn't able to show until now.

You put your hands back on his cheeks. "Do you still believe the strong exists to protect the weak?"

You weren't able to answer this marathon race question. It was impossible to. Whatever answer you had, it would be negative. And you didn't want to dampen his spirits with something he already knew, deep inside him.

It was silent before he finally replied, "I don't know."

"The strong protect the weak. That was your philosophy, wasn't it?" A pause, "It's also what makes the strong, strong. You know, if there weren't any 'weak' people, you wouldn't even be considered 'strong', you know."

"As someone who's been saved by the strong and now becoming stronger because of them, I will hold that in my heart forever. Those non-sorcerers and sorcerers you've saved, Sugu, will remember you as their saviour."

Suguru's lips parted, but he closed them again, waiting for you to continue. He didn't know what to say.

"If you decide you don't want to protect non-sorcerers anymore and you look down on them, and it's the alternative to saving non-sorcerers because they're weak, then..." Your forehead presses on his as you close your eyes, "I'll let you go."

Suguru's throat became dry. He wanted to badly to say that he wasn't going to leave, but he couldn't deny the feelings he had when it came to whichever road he would pick.

"But, if you do end up hating non-sorcerers, you'll become one of those corpses you didn't want to see. And as a fellow sorcerer, I'd hate for that to happen." You lean down and move to hug him to your smaller body, pressing his face into the crook of your neck.

"Non-sorcerers are weak, yes, but they can also be strong. Not strong enough to kill curses, but strong in other aspects. Strength is not equal to pulverising curses." You gently pet the back of his head, "Riko was strong, wasn't she? She's not a bad non-sorcerer. She was almost like a friend to you, wasn't she?"

Suguru's arms wrap around your mid section, grabbing onto the back of your shirt like life support. "...yes." He managed to whisper.

"There's good and bad in everyone, Sugu, regardless of if they're sorcerers or not. If you're worried about the sorcerers in the world, wouldn't it be best to fix it at its core rather than to to just kill them all?"

Suguru didn't respond. He already had his answer.

You felt a wetness on your neck as his body shook, sobs ripping through his body as relief filled his veins at your words. You hummed, gently patting his back as he cried.

You knew, Suguru was a soft person inside. No matter how troublesome he and Satoru can become when they're together, Suguru was undoubtedly the softer one. Satoru also had a soft heart, but he had walls and walls around so it wasn't easily penetrated. Whereas for Suguru, the environment he's in affects him easier, and the suffering of others will easily shake him. Especially with his job as a sorcerer, it was even harder since it was a job with an abundance of negative energy.

You must've stayed like this for a while, and you felt him move to face you, his face still in your neck. You could feel his exhales on your skin, a soft hum from him as he murmured an apology to you into your skin.

"You okay there, Sugu?" You leaned your head on his, nuzzling a little.

He let go of the back of your shirt, and instead grabbed your waist and under your legs, bringing you to his lap as you yelped in surprise at the sudden lightweightedness.

"Sorry, it's easier this way." He adjusted you so you were directly in front of him, your legs to the side on the bed. His arms encased you as he hugged you tighter than before, not wanting to let go. He wanted to feel your pulse and heartbeat, to know you're present and there with him.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck again, his eyes closing as he tried to burrow impossibly closer, just like you're his lifeline.

You didn't mind since occasionally he would do this, but as of now, this was the most intimate he had become with you, and it was making your heartbeat speed up.

You tried to calm yourself as you continued to pat his back and smooth the back of his hair, chin on his shoulder as you leaned your head on his.

"Your heart's racing." You felt his lips curl into a smile, "You like this?"

Slightly annoyed by his teasing during such a tender moment, especially for him, the next pat was a lot harsher than the rest of them. You pouted as he chuckled into your skin, loosening his grip. He kept one arm around you as he wiped any tears with his sleeve, gently patting the areas on you he made damp.

You noticed he looked a lot better. A lot lighter, even. Even though he was crying, whatever was weighing him down seemed to have lessened or disappeared, like it was never there in the first place. It was like the Suguru pre star plasma vessel mission had returned.

You unknowingly held your breath, wondering if the Suguru in front of you would go back to the one who was conflicted.

"Do I have something on my face?" Suguru could feel your intense gaze on him the whole time, and he felt like he was under a microscope at how strong your gaze was.

He suddenly became self-conscious; did he look that bad after crying?

"You're back." You stated, almost incredulously.

At the tip of his tongue, he wanted to ask 'I'm back?', but he realised, you meant him. You meant the him from before Riko, the him before he started spiralling. The him who had a strong resolve and foundation.

"I've always been here." He gave you a little smile, the smile sincerely reaching his eyes as he gave you a little forehead bump.

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks at such a gentle motion, not unnoticed by him.

"You blush at this but not the hugging before?" He stared at you like you were the strangest thing on this earth, but the mirth was clearly dancing around his purple eyes, making you hit him lightly in the chest, giving him an unimpressed look.

"Welcome back, I guess." You rolled your eyes playfully at him, but you were glad he was back.

"So what's this about a house arrest for you?" Suddenly, you remembered you'd come to deliver the news to him after your meeting with the elders.

"Ah, yeah, so I'm under house arrest! For 1 week! They told me to not leave the school and if I do, they're gonna do something." You tried to recall the information, but all you had in your head was Suguru, Suguru and more Suguru.

You blinked once, twice, thrice, but you couldn't remember shit all. "Maybe I should get 'toru to bail me out if I get in trouble. He can threaten them easily."

"...why not me?" Suguru gave his best attempt at puppy dog eyes, making your brows raise at him for the effort.

"Nice try," You pinch his cheeks, trying to stop the smile from pulling your lips upwards, "I don't want you going alone, so go with 'toru if you want to. Double trouble from the two strongest sorcerers, right?" You finally give him a grin as he held a baffled look.

Then, he laughed.

The sound was like a melody to your ears, one which was so genuine and heartfelt, one you hadn't heard in so long. It moved you.

"I'll do that, then. Does that mean you have to stay here the whole time?"

"Nah, as long as I'm in Tengen's barrier."

"That's a pretty good holiday for you."

"I know right?"

"You've worked hard enough so I think you deserve some rest."

The chatter continued until the night, until you fell asleep on him from how tiring the whole day was. Geto cradled you close, like you were made of glass (not that he wasn't hugging you like his lifeline before). Instead of caressing your cheek like he was used to, this time, he mustered up some courage, gave a quick peck on your cheek, then nuzzled your cheeks together as he stood up and got you into your bed.

As he tucked you in, he gently pushed the stray hairs out of your face, his finger caressing your cheek ever so gently.

"...thank you, [name]." He spoke so, so softly he barely heard his own voice, a calm and gentle smile on his face as he reluctantly left. He was going to hop into bed next to you to sleep as well, but he figured he should clean up first before doing so.

Turns out, Suguru didn't have any missions in the same week you were under house arrest.

You were still sleeping even after Suguru tried to wake you up in the morning, so he just left you there so you could rest. After all, you probably needed some extra time since you worked so hard for him.

"I'm surprised I don't have any missions this week." The martial artist sat down with a cup of tea.

"Wonder why that is?" Shoko had shrugged off the question, eating together with the curse manipulation user in the common area.

She already knew why that was, since she heard it all from you, but she wasn't going to tell Suguru so easily.

"[name] probably complained to the elders." Suguru stated with a laugh. He could see it happening, with you giving them attitude until you got what you want. Almost like a kid trowing a tantrum.

Shoko let out a hum as she agreed. There was a little more to the story, but he didn't need to know yet.

They were so worried about you they actually begged the elders this time. Probably the first time they've begged them, so they allowed it with one condition: [name] had to do whatever they wanted for a week after their house arrest.

But Suguru didn't need to know that, at least, until [name] told him, which they probably didn't want to do.

Seeing Shoko's nonchalant personality was normal, but for Suguru he felt like there was definitely something she knew. After all, [name] was at Shoko's before they came back to their room yesterday. And knowing the elders and from what [name]'s said about them, Suguru assumed there would be some form of condition.

Seeing he wasn't convinced, Shoko decided she was going to allude to it a little, since [name] probably wasn't going to say anything.

To speed up the process, was Shoko's determining factor.

"I think they're going to be quite busy after their week off. My spider senses are telling me this." She joked, leaning back on the chair.

Suguru thought for a moment, "So the elders are going to force [name] to go on difficult missions."

Shoko shrugged, taking out a cigarette and placing it between her lips. She didn't light it inside, but it didn't feel right without it. "Aren't they already doing that?"

Geto didn't give a response, thinking what the elders would do especially since [name] was involved. From his observations, they were much more strict on you than they were on anybody else. Satoru could get away with things because he was one of the strongest and could actually end them and everything else, but you on the other hand, were not able to do that and effectively just danced in the palm of their hands trying to bite your way out.

He let out a low hum in thought. If he was granted no missions during this time and you were under house arrest, but Shoko alluded to you being busy the next week even after knowing you'll be taking up missions just like usual, that effectively means something was up. Was there another variable he wasn't sure about? Did you have something to do with him having no missions right now?

"Shoko, why not just tell me [name] had a deal with the elders?" He let out a sigh at the roundabout way of getting to the answer. "I'm guessing they agreed to do whatever the elders asked for, for 1 week, right? In exchange for giving me a break and going on that mission even after getting told not to."

"Bingo." Shoko made finger guns at his correct answer. She definitely didn't tell him, he just figured it out on his own, she tells herself.

Suguru's lips pressed into a thin line, wondering what the elders had planned. After all, you were a semi grade-1 sorcerer, but you kept getting pushed into missions which were grade 1 or higher, somehow managing to always come back alive even after facing a grade 1 curse.

Which is why the elders were always assigning you to go on difficult missions.

"You know, the girls you brought back, Mimiko and Nanako, are doing well. They've been put into a foster home associated with Jujutsu High, so you'll be able to see them if you want." Shoko forgot to give him this piece of information.

"That's good to hear." He smiled, now knowing the girls were doing well. It brought him back to the day prior, where he was so, so close to losing it and choosing another path. "I'm sure [name] would like to see them too."

Shoko shifted in her seat when she heard your name from his lips this time, finding it was different to earlier. It was softer? She couldn't quite put her finger to it, but it was like his soft spot for you was even softer than before, if that could even be a thing.

"You sound like a lovesick fool." Shoko commented with a non-commited laugh. She was just teasing, but she was also curious.

Suguru rolled his eyes at her, taking a sip of his tea. "They saved them too. Of course they'd want to see them."

He didn't agree nor deny, making Shoko raise her brows in surprise.

"I heard my name." You yawned as you entered the common area, still in the clothes you wore yesterday.

"Looks like you slept well." Geto examined your hair, which stuck up in some places, a smile on his face at the scene.

You hummed in response, giving a wave to both of them before sauntering over to the kitchenette to make yourself a glass of warm water, uncaring of the eyes trailing after you.

Shoko's gaze landed on Suguru, watching him watch you.

His gaze on you was definitely different. She definitely wasn't seeing things. She swore it was softer than before. The way his expression changed to a more relaxed one the minute you came into the picture, the way his shoulders relaxed when he talked to you, the tone of his voice shifting spectacularly to include an affectionate tilt, all of it was presented right in from of Shoko, who had known Suguru for a while, so she could tell these differences easily.

Wow, damn. He's down bad.

She smirked to herself, wanting so badly to tell Satoru of Suguru's little crush.

Except, both of them would probably deny it to the ends of the earth.

You slip into the seat next to Geto, eyes half open as you slowly blinked away your sleepiness, drinking the water here and there. Suguru laughed lightly at your state, scooting a little closer to detangle your hair with his fingers, running his hands through your hair to fix it.

Shoko's eyes nearly bulged out of her head, watching this blatant public display of affection. She was used to Suguru being a little touchy with [name] and expressing it here and there, but this was a new high. It made her sip the coffee she'd forgotten she had on the side, not sure if she should be there to experience such a thing.

You hummed in content, "Thanks Sugu."

"Should've brushed your hair before coming out." He gently chided, taking a sip of his tea.

"Probably should've changed, too..." You yawn again, taking another sip of water. "But yeah, I'd like to see the kids too, Shoko, when they're ready and all healed up."

Shoko, having been distracted for a moment, returned to her nonchalant self as she grinned, promising to let both of you know when that was possible.

The week of house arrest was a blessing for you, especially before the files for the missions you were undertaking were handed to you by a Window.

There were 2 missions you were asked to undertake - a grade 1 solo mission, and then a special grade one with Satoru.

A special grade with Satoru? If you didn't already feel alarmed, you were definitely feeling alarmed now. Hell, if Satoru is on any missions, it meant that there was serious harm that could be done.

You flipped through the papers wordlessly, your expression changing here and there before going back to normal.

These were the two missions asked by the elders, the ones who you were to obey for the week.

There can't be anything good here, you thought, going through the documents a second time to remember the information.

"Are you going on a mission soon?" Suguru suddenly appeared out of nowhere, nearly making you jump in surprise. His face was right next to yours, overlooking your shoulders to peer at the documents.

"Yeah, these two are for next week. One solo, one with 'toru." You showed him the front pages of each and the basic information.

He let out a low hum in response and pulled back, plucking the papers with him to sift through them.

He already knew they were missions the elders specifically picked out for you, but for one with Satoru? He was sure something was up there.

Of course, you didn't know he knew about your little deal with the elders, and he didn't plan on telling you he knew. Instead, he just showed up wherever you were because he wanted to be near you. And, who knows, the elders might have something planned so he wanted to know you were safe.

"It's too bad I have my own missions to go to. Otherwise I'd have gone with you." He handed you back the papers, seeing your confused expression.

"I'm sure the elders would love that." You spoke sarcastically, but laughed all the same. It would've been great to go on missions with Suguru, just like not too long ago. "Maybe we'll go on missions together soon!"

"I'd like that."

He'll pretend he didn't see the big red words on the special grade mission with Satoru, one which spelled out '2 special grades'.

"So, apparently there are 2 special grades." Satoru ate a crepe filled to the brim with toppings, walking side by side with you as you both headed to the site of the mission.

He'd come back a day or so ago and didn't even bother looking through the documents, leaving it to you since you had them before him. Also because he was strong and he didn't care enough; he would've beaten them regardless.

"Which is why I have no idea why I'm here." You muttered, sighing. You snack on your on crepe, much more simple than his, wondering why in the earth the elders wanted to put you on such a mission. You were semi grade 1, for fuck's sake! Just because you survived a special grade and grade 1 mission before doesn't necessarily mean you'll survive the next ones?!

Satoru glanced at you and took a large chomp of his crepe, munching gleefully. Once he finished that bite, he said, "They should've sent Suguru with me if anything."

"I know right? Special grades against special grades, not special grade and semi grade 1 versus 2 special grades. Are they telling me to die?" You let out an exasperated sigh.

"They're probably planning something." Satoru and you both knew how much they were assholes, but cunning was also a word that could be used to describe them.

He left out the part about how he knew you did this for Suguru, and all the nitty gritty details Shoko filled him in about after he came back from the mission prior. He also left out the information only he has access to, one which was more in line with the ability you had, that the elders were convinced you were able to awaken at a later stage.

After all, if you could unlock your cursed energy output channels so abruptly and have so much CE, there was bound to be some locked potential there, right?

Which is why you were put onto this mission to assist Satoru.

"Let's just get this over and done with." You finished the rest of your crepe, downing some bitter green tea before heading to the Windows waiting at the site.

Satoru followed you, feeling the CE ooze strongly from the site.

This will be interesting.

A couple of nights after you and Satoru went on the mission, Suguru began to get worried. He shouldn't be worried about you since you were with the Gojo heir, but he couldn't shake the feeling something happened to you.

It was when he woke up from a nightmare of you dying in his arms that he feels his stomach drop, and cold sweat run down his face and body.

The feeling was unmistakenably so humane, so real that it fucked his head in. He sat up in bed for a moment, feeling your side of the bed before finding it cold and empty. He started to panic, wondering if the dream was indeed real, but then he realised you were still on a mission, and it's been a couple of days since you went. He sighed to himself, slipping out of the covers to go cool down.

When he opened the door, he saw the light at the end of the hallway was open, the one belonging to the common room.

He didn't know what time it was, but it definitely wasn't a time to be up. But, he still went, curious about who was up this late.

"Satoru?" He questioned, seeing the white haired man in question sprawled out on the couch. "You two finished the mission?"

"Yeah." Gojo leaned back, turning his head to meet Suguru's tired ones. "Can't sleep?"

"Had a nightmare."

"Yikes."

"Where's [name]?"

"Getting examined by Shoko."

"What happened to them?" Suguru didn't want to sound too panicked, but Satoru could see through him right away.

"[name]'s fine. Maybe super tired now since they activated their curse technique for the first time."

"Cursed technique?" Suguru echoed. From what he knew, you didn't have a CT.

"Yeah." Satoru leaned on one side, crossing his legs as he faced Suguru. "Nullfication. Can cancel anything with cursed energy within a radius of 2 metres. Curses die just being in contact with it, but depends on grade."

"Isn't that an extremely rare ability?" Geto had to get himself something to drink, he was parched. He also made one for Satoru as well, knowing he'd want one too after the mission.

"Yeah. It bypassed my infinity." Satoru made an expression as he clicked his tongue, "But then my infinity worked again. Was the first time something like this happened."

Suguru couldn't help but let his jaw drop. "Is that even possible?"

Satoru frowned, taking the cup from Suguru and taking a drink. "I don't know, but the CT uses CE to maintain it. Still trying to figure out how it works."

Suguru breathed out in relief, "Wow."

"Not a moment to be celebrating, Suguru." Satoru clicked his tongue at him again, "I think this was exactly what the elders wanted."

Suguru backtracked for a moment - he knew the elders wanted something, but this? He didn't expect them to look at [name] and go 'this one will have a CT manifested'. Usually CT are manifested at an earlier age, so for you to awaken one so much later was a miracle in itself.

"Back then, and now, too." Gojo let out an exasperated sigh. "Those old bastards."

Suguru finished off his drink, "I'm going to go see them."

"Oh, ok." Satoru saw Suguru's expression, it did hold worry, but it was more contemplative due to the situation around it. He quickly finished off his drink and followed his best friend.

Suguru breathed a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding when he saw you getting a check up from Shoko. You looked tired, but you were still alive and kicking.

"Sugu? Why are you awake? It's 3am." You raise a brow, then quickly realised Shoko was up too because of you and apologised with a little bow.

"I couldn't sleep." He strode to where you were. The tension in his body was replaced with relief as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He nuzzled into your hair, even if it was dirty from the mission.

"Sugu? I haven't cleaned up, you know." You let out a laugh as you let him do his thing, giving him a light hug back and some pats on the back.

Satoru made an expression, almost pouty, before he also came over and enveloped both you and Suguru into a hug. "I don't know what's going on but I'll hug you too. Shoko, come!" He dragged her by the arm so everyone was in a hug, much to your delight.

It's been a while since there was a group hug.

"If the elders say anything, drop my name and I'll come kill them." Satoru murmured, ready to throw hands. He nuzzled his face into the top of your head, ignoring how his hair tickled Suguru and Shoko's noses.

"If you do that, let me examine their dead bodies." Shoko joked.

"If there are any difficult missions, bring me or Satoru along." Suguru scrunched his nose as he delved deeper, leaning his body weight on you ever so slightly.

"Guys, I think I'll pass out..." You tapped at their arms, not having enough strength to pull them off.

Not even a minute passed and you were tucked into your bed, the other three shoved into your bed with you, hugging at least one part of your body as they drifted off into sleep.

You were facing Suguru, who hadn't slept yet, but was waiting for you to close your eyes and rest.

"Sugu, let's visit the kids soon, ok?" You yawned, closing your eyes, "Goodnight."

He moved slightly to bump his forehead to yours, moving back when a small smile curled your lips. He was ready to sleep now, and he didn't think he'd have anymore nightmares.

"Let's do that. Goodnight."

A/N: This is almost a little prequel to this angsty one, but can be a fluffy-ish angsty-ish standalone as well!

Fun fact, after Suguru cried his eyes out, his eyes were puffy for the first day of this break, and you and Shoko gave him so much shit for it.

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thirdsaltyhunter · 11 months

Text

Fight for Love

Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Summary: a fight between you and Dean leads to some unintended truth slipping out, maybe that's not a bad thing

Warning: flangst, arguing, self hate, implied smut, set in season 9(spoilers)

A/N: Not proofread all mistakes are my own.

You and Dean had been screaming at each other for a good 10 minutes now. It had gotten to the point where Sam had given up trying to be the mediator and snuck away to the library, to let you fight it out in the map room.

This argument had started when you found out Dean had taken on the Mark of Cain and to make it worse, he had hidden it from you for over a week. After you saw it on his arm and started asking questions, he tried to brush you off like it wasn't a big deal. Your anger had flared, but what you wouldn't admit, was that that anger, was fueled by fear and concern for your friend.

You had been friends with the boys for years and fought by their side. It wasn't long after getting to know them, that you started to develop feelings for the older Winchester, despite your best efforts at keeping your heart in check. At this point, those feeling had developed into being hopelessly in love with him. You wouldn't say anything though; you knew your feelings were unrequited.

"Do you know how bad of an idea that was Dean, we know literally nothing about what that mark could do to you.", you yelled as he paced back and forth on the other side of the map table.

"We had no other option Y/N, what was I supposed to do?"

"We could've figured out a plan that didn't involve you getting a murderous tramp-stamp."

"Well it's too late now isn't it.", he was practically fuming now.

"Ok, then we'll get it off!", your yelling was elevated by the frustration and anxiety that was coursing through your veins.

"And why the fuck do you even care?", he yelled, leaning forward. He seemed so close to you despite still being across the table.

At his question, it was like something snapped inside you at his audacity to even ask you that. All rational thinking and control went out of your mind.

"Because I love you!", you responded, voice louder than it had been throughout your whole argument. However your screamed admission of the words you had tried so hard to keep to yourself for years, was followed by a deafening silence. All of your anger and fire drained out of you and was replaced by pure dread and regret.

You wondered for a brief moment, if you had in fact said those words aloud, but one look at Dean's face, at his shocked expression, confirmed that you had. You had just brought your walls of emotional repression crashing down around you.

You glanced to your right to see that Sam had reemerged from the library, clearly he had heard you and wanted to see how this scene would play out. Sam, being your best friend, had always encouraged you to admit your feelings to Dean, but you had always thought that was a terrible idea. There was no way someone like him could want you. You didn't deserve him anyway. All of the terrible outcomes ran through your head, Dean rejecting you, or getting mad at you and kicking you out of the Bunker, or things becoming awkward and you losing your closest friends.

You were waiting for one of these possibilities to happen as you stared at the floor while Dean still stared at you in stunned silence. In reality, it had only been a few seconds, but it felt like time had stopped and you couldn't stand waiting anymore. So you ran.

"Y/N wait!", Sam called after you, but your feet were already carrying you to the garage. You grabbed your keys and got in your car as fast as you could, you wanted to be far away from this situation, somewhere you wouldn't have to face Dean. His silence made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you and you didn't think your heart could handle his rejection... or worse.

Dean's POV

After about 20 minutes of driving, your thoughts had spiraled to the point that your hands were shaking, so you pulled off the road into a field. You got out of your car to go sit on the hood and think, try to come up with a plan on what to do next, but it was like your mind wasn't working. You hadn't even realized it, but you were crying. You just wished you could go back in time and take back those words.

Dean didn't break out of his trance of disbelief until he heard the garage door slam behind you. His mind couldn't wrap around the fact that you had just admitted you loved him, he thought there was no way someone like you could want someone like him.

"What the hell man!", Sam said, exasperated. "Why did you just stand there?"

"I don't know Sam!". He felt like an idiot. Why did he just stand there? Why didn't he say anything? And now you were gone. "What do I do?", he asked his brother.

"Well, it's too late to follow her, so we'll have to find her."

"How?"

Your POV

The younger Winchester thought for a moment. "We can try to track her phone and hope she didn't turn it off."

You couldn't have been sitting on your hood, drowning in stress, for more than 30 minutes before you heard the distinct rumbling of the impala. You forgot to turn the location off on your phone. Fuck. Your heart sunk to your stomach and you prayed to any god listening, that it was Sam in the car and not Dean. But you knew better. You knew just from the sound of his footsteps who it was.

Dean came and sat next to you in the hood of your car. You couldn't look at him, you didn't want to see the look of pity in his eyes when he saw you were crying.

"Sweetheart, please look at me", he said after a moment of silence. He placed a hand on your knee and you immediately jerked away.

"You don't need to say anything Dean, I get it." You still weren't looking at him. You really didn't want to hear some "it's not you it's me" speech.

"Get what?", he asked, genuinely confused at how you were reacting.

"I'm so sorry", you said, completely ignoring his question; your eyes welling with a new wave of tears.

"Whoa whoa, hey", he said softly, moving off the hood to kneel in front of you. Your hands went up to hide your face. "C'mon look me Sweetheart. Please.", he pulled your hands away from your face to hold them.

"Please don't kick me out." You knew that was an irrational fear to have and Dean would probably never do that to you, but the weight of your insecurity was heavy on your mind.

He was taken aback by your words but his heart broke at how upset you looked and the tear stains on your cheeks. He realized then, what was going through your mind; you thought he was going to reject you.

"Hey, no one's kicking you out." He gently squeezed your hands. "Look at me."

His voice sounded so gentle but you could pick up on the hint of what sounded like nervousness. You finally met his eyes.

"I love you too." Your eyes widened in disbelief at his words, but you knew how monumental Dean Winchester, saying those words to anyone, was. "I should have told you that a long time ago, but I never thought you'd feel the same."

"Y-you love me?" you were still shocked, you wanted to cry for a whole other reason now. Relief. Happiness. Gratitude.

"Have for a long time sweetheart, how could I not." He could still tell you didn't believe him so he leaned up slowly giving you plenty of time to pull away, before planting a gentle kiss to your lips. It felt like you were going to combust and he was the only thing keeping you tethered to earth.

Once your brain had caught up and he pulled away, you decided the kiss was entirely to short for your liking. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back into a kiss, that tried to make up for all the years of waiting. Laying back on the hood of your car you pulled him to stand between you legs as he continued to kiss you.

Things were getting pretty heated before Dean pulled back to look down at you. "We don't have to take this any farther if you don't want to," he said, eyes laced with softness and concern.

"Dean if you don't want to go any farther because you want to take things slow, that's fine with me, but if you're saying that because you're worried about me... I've been waiting for nine years, don't make me wait any longer."

A smile, that you hadn't seen in a long time, lit up his face. "Then why don't we move to the car," he motioned to the sky. It apparently had started lightly raining at some point and was about to start coming down harder.

Laying in his arms, completely blissed out, you listened to his breathing and the rain hitting the roof of the car. You ran your hand down his arm until you got to his forearm. You stopped to run your thumb over the mark. "Does it hurt?" you asked.

You nodded in agreement, before taking his offered hand so you could climb off your hood. He opened the back door of the impala for you and let you get in before joining you and shutting the door. You were going to wait out the rain and try to make up for all the lost time.

"Not really. It did at first." he took a breath before continuing. "I'm sorry, I know it was a stupid move."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just worry about you."

Before he could respond, you heard his phone ring from the floorboard. You groaned, not wanting to move from his hold.

He chuckled at your annoyance. "It's probably Sam. It's been hours, we should at least let him know you didn't wind up in a ditch somewhere."

"Fine," you said with a playful eyeroll and reached down to grab his phone. You read Sam's name on the caller ID and answered it. "Hey Sammy," you greeted.

"Oh h-hey!" he said clearly surprised to hear your voice instead of Dean's. "So I guess Dean found you."

"Yeah everything's good. We're ok."

"Ok good," he said with a hint of relief.

"We'll be home soon, I promise." You said your goodbyes to Sam, before hanging up and putting Dean's phone back in his pocket. "I guess we should head back." You didn't want to break this moment, almost fearing that what had happened between you two would disappear when you left the safety of the car.

He nodded with a sigh and began gathering your clothes.

Once you were both redressed, you went to reach for the door handle and head back to your car. Dean's hand on your arm stopped you.

"We'll get your car tomorrow, just ride home with me tonight," he pleaded.

"Ok," you breathed, relieved that the moment still wasn't ending.

You had settled into the front seat with him and began the drive back to the bunker, when you had an idea. Rummaging through his box of cassettes you found the one you were looking for.

"What are you doing, Sweetheart?" he asked with a hint of amusement.

"Don't worry about it, you just keep driving." You smiled at him and slipped the tape into the cassette player.

Dean started to laugh as soon as he recognized what song you had played. "Did you just 'Night Moves' me ?"

You nodded and started singing along with Seger's voice with a huge smile on your face.

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x you #supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fanfiction #dean winchester #supernatural #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x gn!reader

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shoccolatine · 7 months

Note

Do you feel comfortable with writing stuff about mental health issues. Like, MC being depressed due to a mission going wrong or something similar and hiding it from Zayne while they spiral deeper into it until he catches them doing something bad - like idk, self-harm, looking up suicide methods, something like that. Gender neutral reader would be great <3

If you don't want to write this for any reason, feel free to ignore my ask :)

mission failure.

⚘pairing: zayne x gn!reader

⚘summary: after one too many failed missions, you reach a breaking point. zayne comes to your aid. ⚘tags: sfw, 2nd person POV, gender neutral reader, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-descriptive/implied self-harm, mild descriptions of morbid thoughts, hurt/comfort, angst ⚘word count: 2k ⚘a/n: thank you so much for your request, i hope i did it justice! this was a very interesting write and i enjoyed it a lot. i tried to be as delicate and vague with the s/h descriptions as i could so as not to trigger anyone, but this fic still deals with sensitive content so please be safe and take care of yourself! much love 💜

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This was it. You just couldn’t do anything right.

Another hunting mission had gone poorly. The third in a row, now. They do say all good things come in threes, but could the same be said of misfortune? It certainly seemed so. The first two mission failures had been played off as flukes, but this time…

You made the long trek back to Headquarters with the weight of a tail dragging between your legs, bearing a few cuts and bruises to show for it. Beside you was Tara, who was not quite so worse for wear and, although disappointed, didn’t quite seem to share the same sentiment as you. After all, she hadn’t been the one to let the Wanderer get away. Again.

“Hey, don’t look so down!” she says, in her usual cheerful tone. She pats your arm in an attempt to be comforting. “Can’t win ‘em all, right?”

You give her a look and a frown. “I mean, we should, shouldn’t we? It’s our job, after all.”

“No way! Those Wanderers were tough! I’m amazed we got as far into the Zone as we did!”

But we lost our main target, you thought, yet you held your tongue. There was no changing Tara’s mind once she was set on something. This mission was above her level, anyway, but with every other Hunter either stationed elsewhere or taking a well-deserved break, and Xavier being unreachable as usual, all you had was each other. It had been up to you, as the higher level Hunter, to uphold the team morale and guide you both through a successful mission. But lately, you just kept falling short. Even the most straightforward of missions went awry. Just what was happening?

The entrance doors slid closed behind you as you and Tara headed upstairs for the debrief. Your heart pounded with every step you took. Three failures in a row… Jenna was going to fire you for sure. She might as well do it now, to make space for a newer, better Hunter to take your place and finish your missions properly.

Instead, what came of your debrief was the offering of a week-long break. "Time off to clear your head and refresh," Jenna had said with hard concern, but it might as well have been an arrow to the chest. Just fire me now and get it over with, you thought. Stop wasting everyone’s time and resources and find someone else.

You didn’t need a break. You just needed to be better.

Getting better, however, came with a steep demand you placed upon yourself like a vase upon a pedestal, delicate and teetering. If Jenna wanted to give you another chance, then you would use this week to return to peak performance. You would train, and train, and train, until you were sure to succeed at every mission she threw at you. It was flawless. You’d be back at it in no time.

But as soon as you got off the train and back into your apartment, all you wanted to do was sleep.

And sleep you did. You slept until you couldn’t think of those missions anymore, and when the thoughts inevitably returned, you slept again.

“You’re not eating enough,” Zayne said during your following check-up later that week. He stated it so matter-of-factly, like he did with any other diagnosis, never looking up from his computer as he typed something. You never knew exactly what. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a break right now?”

“How do you know that?”

“Word gets around,” he said, the beginnings of a smile etched on his face. You didn't like the idea of people knowing things like that so easily. People sure do like to talk... Zayne's hazel eyes lifted from the screen and over at you. “You need to take better care of yourself. Now is as good a time as any to catch up on your body’s needs.”

“I’m fine,” you snapped. Sometimes Zayne needed to mind his own business. Wait, but he was your doctor, and one of your closest friends… What was the matter with you? You really needed to go back to bed and stop being such a nuisance.

Maybe it’d be better if you got out of his life, too.

You met his questioning expression and the heat of your response drained out of your face. At that, you decided you didn’t want to wait for a reply. Whatever he wanted to say to you with that curious expression of his, you didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t deserve to hear it. You quickly left his office and never looked back. If he called your name as the door to his office slid closed behind you, it went unheard.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

5 missed calls.

Your phone screen blares the message in your face, blinding against the darkness of your room and blurry against the tears that threatened to fall, that had already fallen, that fell and dried and fell again. Your fingers itch to reply, to call him back or send him a text, but what’s the point? He doesn’t really care. He’s probably just going to scold you for leaving your appointment halfway and being childish and not following doctor’s orders and being rude to him.

Not only have you messed up your job, you’re messing up your relationships now, too. When will you ever stop? Can’t it ever stop?

Your phone buzzes and lights up in your fingers as your ringtone sings into your sheets once more. It’s him again. Doesn’t he know when to quit? You watch his name as it waits idly on your screen. It gets tired of waiting, as it always does, and finally disappears. You sigh as another hot tear slips down your cheek.

Something new happens this time.

1 new voicemail, your phone screen reads. You start to slide the notification away, but against your better judgment, and before you can talk yourself out of it, you give in, tap the notification, and listen.

The line is silent for a moment, and part of you hopes he gave up and left you nothing.

Finally, after what sounds like a throat clearing, he speaks.

“Hey, it’s me,” Zayne’s voice comes through the speaker. It’s got that usual muffled crackly phonecall texture laid onto it, but it sounds enough like him that it feels like he’s right there with you, underneath the blankets. “Are you alright? …Listen. Whatever it was I said, I didn’t mean it. You know that. I was going to ask if you wanted to get dinner, but you left so suddenly. Call me when you’re able?”

The silence creeps in again, and you can almost hear him consider saying something more, can almost see his expression as his thoughts thunder in his brain but refuse to leave his lips, but then there’s a click, and the call ends. The robotic voicemail message drones monotonously about saving the message, and halfway through, you hang up, too.

The back of your throat clenches and burns, and you barely fight back a sob as it wrenches itself out of you. Zayne was worried about you. You made him worry. You thought he was mad, you wanted him to be mad, but he’s not. He cares about you. Why…?

You dig the heels of your palms into your eyes, as if you could push back the sting of tears that rush, hot and salty, from your bloodshot eyes. It hurts, and you start to see flashes of bright white stars under your eyelids, but it’s better than succumbing to the pain in your chest. Your heart shares a galaxy with the stars in your vision, a dying star that’s fizzling out, or maybe even being consumed by the void of a black hole. How morbidly comforting. You suddenly want to rip it out.

You wonder, just how difficult would it be to separate the Aether Core from your still-beating flesh…?

You try to shake the thoughts from your mind but they hold fast. Throwing the blankets off of your body, you leave your room hobbling like a zombie, make a beeline for the kitchen, and pull open a drawer.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s late at night when there’s a knock at your door. A slight rap of the knuckles. A sharp one, two. Once, then twice, and on the third knock there’s another sound, too. A rattling jingle. And it’s times like these when you curse yourself for giving Zayne the extra key to your apartment.

He calls out your name as he steps in. You barely hear him. You’re not sure if it’s because he’s far away, or speaking quietly, or if you’re just that far gone into your own thoughts that everything else around you is muted.

He might have called only once, or a dozen times, by the time he reaches your room and spots your hunched figure on your bed. He says your name again, and this time you do hear him.

You meet his gaze, steeled with concern, and immediately regret it.

He sees you, really sees you, and all at once your façade crumbles once more. He approaches the edge of your bed, and you turn your eyes anywhere but at him as you brace yourself for impact.

“What are you doing?” he asks, but he already knows the answer.

Zayne grabs your wrist. Yet, his touch is gentle—firm enough to grip you, but soft enough that you could pull away if you wanted. You don't. You’re far too tired to fight anymore. You continue to stare at the floor with teary eyes, but there is resignation hanging heavy on your shoulders, like a wet blanket. Zayne takes your silent compliance as an okay to pull you along with him down the hallway of your dimly lit apartment and into the bathroom.

He sits you down on the toilet. The light clack of the lid hitting the porcelain beneath from your sudden weight seemed to jolt you awake a bit; your eyes refocus and follow his movements as he shuffles through the medicine cabinet. He pulls out a few things and then returns to tend to his patient.

"Hand. Here," he says as he holds out his own. You offer yours, and he meets you halfway. He always does. He’s as meticulous and calm as always as he cleans, disinfects, and wraps your wounds, ever the doctor, but there’s a certain softness in his motions that you’re sure he reserves for only his most cherished patients.

Only for you.

The thought rolls a warm wave over you, the once wet blanket that had been dragging you down now fresh out of the laundry and wrapped carefully around you, cozy and hot and certain. There’s still a bit of damp spots here and there, but those will also dry in time. And you know Zayne will still be here when that time comes.

Your thoughts are broken when long fingers drag against your cheek, wiping away yet more damp spots and fanning through your shining lashes.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” Zayne says, repeating his words from earlier that day. Was that really only today? This day was lasting a lifetime. As with before, his tone holds no ice. You regret snapping at him when he was only trying to help. He must feel your tension, because he puffs a breath out through his nose just then, and the warm air tickles the hairs on your forehead. He places a kiss there, the barest brush of his lips on your skin. He pushes your hair back with long warm fingers, tucking a strand behind your ear. “If you need help with that, I’m here. Always. You need only ask.”

Later still and he’s tucking you into bed and giving your forehead another gentle kiss, making you feel like a kid again. He’s surprisingly good at that. You don't know how he does it.

Zayne follows you under the covers, and leaves you an open invitation to snuggle against him, if you wish. You gratefully accept, tucking your head under his chin as he envelops you. He’s very careful not to apply pressure to your bandaged skin.

Right before you fall asleep, he whispers a promise of breakfast tomorrow, and dinner, and whatever else comes next. A promise of staying, no matter what.

#soft zayne is best zayne #change my mind (you won't)#love and deepspace #zayne #zayne x reader #zayne lads #l&ds #l&ds x reader #fics

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maxphilippa · 2 months

Text

i want to make something clear because i think that you guys are being a bit weird about me: i don't think that taco is like. just pure evil. like the whole episode was meant to show how far gone she was and how she sees herself as someone that doesn't have remedy, that can't get any better, so that's why she decides to bring everyone down with her as a result. the point of her song is that she KNOWS that she's terrible, she knows that it is too late for her to fix things, she describes herself as purely evil and feels bad about the damage she caused but that's the thing. she doesn't seek to be a better person, she's very very miserable on the current situation she's in. she thinks that since she's too far gone to fix things with these guys, she might as well be broken forever and ever. but that's not true. she CAN heal. but she can't heal if she keeps herself attached to the show. mepad thinks she can still fix things because he doesn't know the full context of everything, and he does care about her well-being. right now, to mepad, it seems that the best thing for taco would be try to make amends.

but that's the thing. taco isn't ready to make amends. she's scared of facing the people she hurted, she's scared of trying to fix things after she knows that they're beyond broken. she knows that mic and pickle left for a reason, but she's on such a deep spiral that she's still not able to let go. mepad wants to save her and he wants her to be happy, but taco is too emotionally unstable at the moment and the episode showed that. ii is literally breaking her. it is literally making her lose herself and her attachment to it is going to fully make her lose her mind.

taco can't be saved because she doesn't want to be saved. at the moment, that is. she knows that she's a terrible person and ended up hurting others while trying to do something "right", but ultimately what she has done was to bring down a friendship that was just working their way to healing (baseball and suitcase), make everyone feel even worse around eachother, and overall made things messier. and it makes sense. she wanted to do that, but she's too stressed to think properly on what to do know. perhaps she had good intentions, perhaps she did want to make others realize that the game is not good for their mental health, but she's the one that is the most attached to it. taco could've started working on herself since the start of the episode if she really wanted to.

but she didn't. she doesn't think that she can change at all.

and now you might expect me to say something like "and she's right" but that's also not true.

taco CAN change but she has to let go of the game and of everyone in order to forgive herself. she has to let go and to understand that meanwhile it is too late to fix things with everyone, she can start with fixing herself. and she's not going to be alone to do that, mepad is genuinely convinced that she can get better, and she can. but she has to let go of the game and of everyone there to ACTUALLY redeem herself FOR HERSELF. she might not be able to fix things here, but she can always find another place to start over. she'll be loved if she lets herself be loved.

taco needs to understand that. she has to let go and that feeling bad about herself and everything that happened won't fix everything. there are a lot of characters that went through similar moments in the show, and the way they got better as people was because they let go of what was stopping them from healing.

taco needs to let go of ii to heal.

she needs to accept that she can change for the better and move on. and start over. and mepad is her companion now, and he left ii for her.

so... yeah. i really hope taco's arc ends with her finally healing and letting go of the show. that she learns that she doesn't have to punish herself with that. that she moves on and meets new people. that mepad helps her realize that meanwhile it is too late to fix things on ii, it is never too late to start working on yourself after letting go.

#maxposteo

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uchihaharlot · 8 months

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Hello! I hope you are fine <3🤲💗

I wanted to ask you about some Uchiha HCs as parents (especially Shisui haha). Idk, things like "How they would react if their Y/N told them they were going to be parents" or "How many children would they have if they had them and how would they treat them?"

🥹 mmm Shisui. Yes. 🙌🏻 Since I’m in a fog, I’ll choose Obito and Shisui — I will probably add more later and reblog then. Focusing more on Shisui though.

(I sort of expanded on this a bit. Leading up to birth etc).

Suggestive themes — mostly N/SFW; pregnancy reactions; and some other cute shit idk how to categorize. Ok yea, I went a bit crazy on Shisui, he’s my blorbo.

Obito:

• Even if it’s planned, he’s going to spiral. It worked on the first time? Duh, Uchiha. Really just stupid luck.

• ‘Already?’ — Obito; ‘….I mean…that’s what happens when you have sex..’ — her. She’s so patient though with him.

• Obito will spend the next few days not necessarily moping, but in minor distress. The whole thing about having a baby this soon, even though it was planned. Has really got him thinking.

• ‘I need to get my shit together.’ He’s not wrong, but they’re not in a bad place. All the financial matters were sorted out before she even went off the pill. She’s going to spend a lot of time easing his worries when he should be settling hers.

• He thinks they can’t have sex anymore 😂 ‘I’ll hurt the baby.’ This woman will have to coax him to satisfy her needs and being hormonal, he’s going to get scared and cave.

• Every time she’s sick, he’s sick. lol. Obito is one of those husbands that are sympathy ill when their wife is unwell, pregnant or not. Though the morning sickness he had worse than her.

• When she actually starts showing, the tables are turned. Obito can’t keep his hands off her. This is amazing! ‘I put that in you…’ —🫠 👈🏻 her. Yea, he did, that big dummy stuffed her good.

• When she is too big to do anything for herself, Obito takes center stage in everything. He matured rather quickly, strange how the prospect of becoming a dad alters an individual.

• 😅 Hit it from the back too rough and ultimately the orgasm she had made her go into labor (I know this is false advertisement but it’s Obito, he’s that guy).

• Nearly passes out as his wife is sprawled up on the stirrups, looks anyways and dear lord, ‘are you recording this?’ She says. Yea, he is. Unintentionally the sharingan populates and he might as well.

• Holds his son for the first time and cries. I think most men do, he’s the most precious thing in this world. Obito didn’t think he could ever make up for what he did in the past, but this one human. This tiny, itty bitty baby boy might just be his Hail Mary. That he could even bring something so good into the world makes him soften even more.

Shisui:

• Family man. 100%. They’ve been trying, and it’s not taking. Not because they’re incapable of it, both healthy and young. He’s just so busy. The days they end up trying don’t line up with her cycle and I mean they’re not just going to not have sex. Any chance he gets to put a bit of him and a little Uchiha inside her are precious moments.

• Firm believer in holding her legs up for a half hour 😂 ‘it has to marinate.’ Big eye rolls from his wife, who just lets him do things his way. After a few months, she finally begs him to just take a week off when she’s the most susceptible of his seed taking root.

• The mere idea that she is rearing and ready to go has Shisui taking his wife at the most unexpected of times. Maybe a week off was a good idea. Needless to say, the house chores are piling up. She wasn’t particularly fond of being shoved head first in the dryer either.

• ‘Making baby is the fun part…’ is his excuse when she chides him for it. Dear lord, this man shooting blanks and still trying.

• Then the unimaginable is announced, well not unimaginable but it felt like too long to actually confirm they were successful. Shisui from this point forward makes sure his pregnant wife gets everything she wants and then some.

• There is no shock period. This was all planned, Shisui is eternally grateful that his wife will be ushering their next of kin into the world. All the hard work is on her now and he is going to make sure she is treated like royalty.

• Though he questions some of her cravings, ‘…really? Ok….’ He won’t judge her, but goddamn it’s not something he’d eat.

• Copious amounts of pampering. Spends ridiculous amounts of money to have her swollen feet pedicured once a month, if she doesn’t want that he will do it himself. Her care is nonnegotiable and she is getting big with life inside of her! She needs some reprieve from the constant drain on her body.

• We aren’t even going to lie, they pretty much have sex up until the baby is born, though not like how Obito did. It’s maybe twice a week, which is less often but enough. If she’s not in the mood for it herself, she would offer to relieve him. Though he might feel guilty, so he would just use his mouth in return if she wasn’t opposed to something less invasive on her aching body. She’ll agree, Shisui is talented in those regards.

• She was making tea in the kitchen when her water broke, Shisui was out on a mission!!! She had to get Itachi to send word of bird and less than an hour he’s back. Exhausted and tired, he made it for the birth. He knew that he shouldn’t have taken that mission but she was adamant he do what he felt necessary for their village. Such a understanding woman!

• Is planting kisses to her forehead, cheeks and lips whenever she starts pushing. Holds one of her legs when the baby is finally crowning, and watches the miracle of birth. The fruit of their passion and love is wayfered into this big world. So beautiful and precious. A son, I often hc Shisui would name his first son Kagami. (I’m pretty sure the series alluded them being related).

• 🥹🥹🥹🥹 👈🏻 shisui 👉🏻 🥴😴 his wife after labor. He is wholly enamored at the tiny being in his arms. Takes the time to figure out which features their baby got from who. Undoubtedly this kid has his mop head of curls. Her nose and eye color, his eye shape and ears. 100% them.

#shisui headcanons #obito headcanons #shisui uchiha #obito uchiha #uchiha shisui #uchiha obito #uchiha clan #uchiha family

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iamcalmdammit · 2 years

Text

Nice to have a friend || [Simon "Ghost" Riley]

Note: I was so surprised that many of you wanted to read this stupid little thing. Read the notes for more after reading the whole thing.

Taglist: @untoldshortsofthefandoms @shoxji @atlantic-sugar @lujain420 @androgynoushellscape @actuallyanita

"What a coincidence, I knew a Simon Riley back when I was a kid," you noted with an adorable laugh after Price introduced the team to you.

Yes, that was me, Ghost was dying to tell you but his tongue was tied. That was the whole point of the mask, to keep his anonymity.

Seeing a familiar face from Manchester, someone he had fond memories of was a real serotonin boost for the rest of the week. You changed a lot since he had last seen you. Back in the day you used to be a pink-loving little girl who went to ballet classes after school, always the one to try and deescalate the fights between the boys.

Every time he laid his eyes on you and noted how far you'd come, his heart was filled with warmth. He was proud of you. Your sense of humor had matured over the years, but you could easily draw a smile on his face with your comments, you became strong and independent, and damn it, you were definitely easy on the eye too.

And this brought back memories, like the one from the first time he had actually talked to you after school. It was a cold, snowy day and he overheard you panicking about losing one of your gloves. He didn't want you to freeze to death on the way home so he decided to give you his gloves just in case. In return you asked him if he wanted to come over and play your brother's video games with you. From that day on, you occasionally met outside of school as well, and those were the happiest memories from his fucked up childhood.

"You seem to be really lost in your thoughts. What's up with you?" Soap asked him one day when the core team visited a bar after a mission.

Ghost let out a groan. He had noticed it before. The deep conversations you and Gaz were having more and more often, the little inside jokes no one but the two of you understood, and the lingering looks that strangely enraged him every single time. And now you were back at it again, staying within your own little bubble in the bar.

"Come on, Lt., you know you can trust me," the sergeant tried again after a minute or two. "Whatever it is, talking about it might be able to help."

He was right, but he had to be careful. "I think something's going on between those two," he said after a short while, as if he was just pointing out something quite obvious.

Soap looked over at you and Gaz. He even tilted his head to the side like a curious puppy as he tried to see what Ghost was trying to point out. "You think so? I haven't noticed anything unusual," he said.

Could it be that he was seeing more into the situation? "Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know." And with that, he dismissed the idea. It was nothing more but his surprisingly vivid imagination playing games with him. That was all.

Or was it?

Fuck.

When he was alone in bed, he always thought about you. It was strange, he wasn't the type to get fixated on women this much. But you… You were an exception. Every inch of his body was craving you, a primal need infesting his brain every time he thought of you. This led to times when his hand found its way under his jeans to end his suffering for the time being.

When he was away from you and didn't see more into certain situations, he often imagined what it would be like to have you around all the time. Seeing you walk around his shitty apartment in his shirt, having breakfast together, watching a movie with you in his arms, or him exploring your body over and over again, drawing one orgasm out of you after another.

It was bad. He was caught in a spiral and had no idea how to get out of it if you couldn't be his. Each passing day made it worse, he got lost in a fantasy world and was terrified to face you again. What if his instincts turned out to be right one day? What if he found out you were in a relationship with someone else, let alone with someone he knew very well?

And then the worst happened.

"I owe you a drink," Soap told him out of nowhere during their next mission. Ghost had absolutely no idea what he was talking about so he put down the weapon he had in his hand until then and gave him an expectant look. "You were right about Y/N and Gaz, those two are definitely together. I just caught a glimpse of Gaz having his tongue down her throat behind the building," he explained with a laugh.

But he couldn't laugh, not when every cell in his body wanted to scream. He had kept his distance so well in the past months that you barely talked to each other. This was a big mistake, he could see that now. Maybe if you knew the truth, if you knew he was that boy from your childhood, things would be different. You could be friends again, and once you were relaxed enough around him, he could try to see if you wanted more than that.

He couldn't even look you in the eye after Soap's announcement. If you asked him anything, he kept the number of his words to the bare minimum, and this didn't go unnoticed by you. "Do you have a problem with me?" you once asked him when you were left alone following a briefing.

How could you sound so sweet and innocent? How could he lie to you when you were looking at him like that? But he had to do it, he couldn't tell you that he was jealous. That he, despite being friends with Gaz, thought you made the wrong choice this time.

"No, I don't," he replied then walked away without another word.

Two days later Price stopped in front of him and watched him with a questioning look. He waited, hoping the Captain would get bored of this silent game and just tell him what he wanted. In the end he took a deep breath and asked, "Are you okay?"

Strange. "I am. Why?"

"Listen, Simon, I know the history of every member of this team. I know you and Y/N went to the same school at the same time back in the day. Did you know her back then?" he asked seriously, although Ghost could see the hint of a smile on his lips.

Was he about to scold him or praise him? He wasn't entirely sure. "I did. Why?"

"You've been different lately, especially when she's around. I'm not saying you've been making mistakes because it wouldn't be true, but maybe you should consider telling her the truth. There's tension between you and I'm not sure that's good for the team in the long run."

And Price was right. If he kept himself isolated for much longer, if he kept letting his fantasies take over his unwind-time, then he would soon be in serious trouble on the field. And not just him, but everyone else he worked with. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

But despite the initial drive to do as Price advised, it actually took him a month to finally man up and talk to you. Even then he hesitated, wondering exactly how and when to approach you, preferably without any other member of the team around. Then the opportunity arrived near the end of the mission when he found you alone in a room.

"Can we talk?" he asked you after he knocked on the doorframe. You looked surprised at first. It was understandable, after all you had talked around a total of fifteen minutes in the past months. Ghost gulped loudly and closed the door after you nodded. "I'll make it quick. There's something I need to tell you."

He stopped and you waited. "Okay?"

Breathe in. Breathe out. It wasn't that hard. "When I was a kid, there was a girl in school," he began. "One day she lost her gloves and I gave her mine so her hands wouldn't freeze off in the middle of the winter cold. I think that's when we became friends."

Your eyes narrowed. Your breath caught in your throat. At that moment, you knew the truth. "Simon?" you whispered his name quietly.

He nodded in response, a delicate smile creeping on his lips under the mask as he watched you. A part of him hoped you would be excited, that you would wrap your arms around him to pull him into a tight hug. But his imagination failed him, your reaction was quite the opposite. You buried a hand on your hair and turned your back to him as you tried to process the news.

Then, after what felt like an eternity to Ghost, you finally turned back to him. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

Your voice was fused with anger and he honestly couldn't blame you. "I prefer anonymity these days," he replied, pointing at his skull mask.

"Why now?"

Because I can't stop thinking about you and it's getting awkward and also affects my performance in the team. Fuck. He couldn't tell you that. "Price gave me a pep talk. He thinks it would be better for the both of us if I was honest with you." Well, this was true. He did say that.

"Great. Now I know. Is there anything else?" you asked, your voice unusually cold.

There was nothing left to say. He could've asked you about Gaz, whether you were truly in love with him or only had fun during missions, but he kept his mouth shut. You were mad. He didn't want to make things even worse. So he walked away and decided to focus on the rest of this mission instead.

You avoided him from this point on. While until now it had been him who did that, now the tables turned and you were the one who didn't want to talk to him unless it was absolutely necessary. Months passed like that and he was beginning to worry that things would never be okay with you.

Then things slowly began to change. You began to ask him how he was, sometimes asked for his opinion, and generally acted nicer around him. At first he thought it was just his raging imagination playing games again, but no. You were really warming up to him.

"Wanna go out for a drink?" you asked him one day.

Ghost wanted to say yes, but it wasn't the right time for that. "We're working."

You nonchalantly waved your hand at him. "Nah, I checked with the Cap, he's okay with it if we don't stay long and don't get too drunk," you explained with a playful grin. "So, what do you say?"

Nodding, he followed you out to the car that parked in front of the temporary base. Friends. You had to be friends again first. But it was a start, he could definitely work with that.

#sorry no happy end for our boy #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #call of duty #modern warfare #modern warfare ii

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thesmpisonfire · 1 year

Text

Okay so, I wanna talk about my sonboy Richas, my guy Felps, their relationship, and everything about yesterday as well

So, lets go :D

First thing, Felps actually really don't like taking care of Richas when he's without his armor

Felps has the terrible memory of being the one (together with Cellbit) to watch Richas first death. The three were at a cave and Felps and Cellbit were taken down first and had to watch Richas getting swarmed and die far from their grasp

The death was reverted, but still, when Felps logged in next time, Richas had JUST died to the bull again, so he already had 1 life. It was the very same day, just a couple hours after. Felps always reinforced about the armor, to the point he didn't let Richas take it off even when safe at Foolishs place when he could see Leo didn't wear it

Felps fucking loves that kid, he's just the quieter dad. He won't scream that much, when he panics, he shuts down and focus on the problem. He's the best dad to talk about feelings and often is the one who talks Richas out of his spiraling self deprecating thoughts, while other dads don't have the same touch

Felps has the patience to talk with Richas and hear Richas points. He always is the one talking him into a shower even if it takes a whole trip beforehand so Richas can have fun before it. He sings a lil song to get him through a shower. Ever since he came back from the lab, he trusts Richas a lot with his own strength, he knows Richas can defend himself even better than Felps can defend himself

It means a lot that Felps is the only dad Richas will listen to more easily, even if sometimes it takes a lot of talk and bargain to do so. Richas is a difficult kid, he channels all his sadness and pain into being silly and overly courageous, which means he will be a disobedient kid, he will put himself in danger, he won't listen to his dads if he can make a joke about it and it has been getting worse lately

Richas is Not doing okay, he's constantly scared of losing the ones he love, he feels easily replaceable which makes him panic and act out in 'jealousy'. He has said before he fears his siblings don't really like him and it's why he always wants to have family around, he knows he's a problem and has even apologized to Bad about it once. He thinks he can't express his love through words when he has written so many beautiful things, he paints bc its how he thinks he can better translate his care

Yesterday, after Bad took him and Felps to the graveyard and out of it, Richas went back with Felps and put some flowers around their graves. A small talk started when Felps wondered if the dead eggs were looking down at them, but also couldn't really believe it because they'd be too far up there to actually see anything. Richas then said how people used to tell him Bobby was up in between the stars, but they stopped telling him that 'story'. Then, this talk happened

"Do you think they'd [Dead eggs Richas never met] like me?"

"Ofc they would! Everyone loves you! They'd love you, Richas"

"If I had died today, would I meet them?"

Felps goes quiet for a couple seconds here, then goes back to talking

"Maybe, maybe not. We can never be sure, Richas. What if you died and it's just nothing after, huh? It's a big bet. You can't keep thinking like that and then go throw yourself in front of a zombie horse to find out if they're at the other side"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be able to annoy all the dads, it wouldn't be worth it... I'd miss you all so much" (He used the word saudade)

"Awwn... But you would be dead, Richas. We would be the ones missing you, we would be the ones staying behind"

And to me this is a very telling moment. Because Richas didn't realize people would miss him as well, he just thought about how he'd miss being with the others. He also says how he'd be in hell, missing his family but also laughing at tragedy. When Felps asks why hell, Richas goes "You really think I'd end up in heaven? With the way I am?"

Felps spends the rest of the stream hyping Richas up, telling him how much he's loved and how much everyone cares for him. Felps manages to get through Richas after a while, and they have a nice moment together. Richas already arrived to the square without armor, after having recently argued with Forever about it, and Felps didn't mind bc that area was all lightened up so less mobs were spawning, plus the aforementioned trusts he has on Richas

No one expected the horse because it came from outside the square, right out the border, and literally fell on top of them. Felps was quick to go after it, and Richas was caught out of surprise and got height damage as well, eating through 2 totems (and also having to switch out the other ones from his hand due to the rule)

Felps was smart about the horse, he always hit up high so there wouldn't be any risk of a misclick, he hit crit after crit pushing the horse away so he could better kill it without risking Richas, and he did it! I understand BBHs scare but everything was already solved and Richas was halfway being revived already

If anything, the trip to the cemetery scared Felps more than it did Richas. Richas is well used to the threat of death, he plays with it by jumping into mines and purposefully walking without armor around Forever. But Felps isn't. He wants his kid safe, he wants him alive. Felps was willing to never come back if it meant Richas could have an extra life, he would die over and over for that kid

After everything, he talked with Richas, and the kid didn't rlly need to be convinced to wear his armor now that he knew how the square can be tricky. Felps didn't need to yell, or compare Richas to anyone, or play lil games. Just a talk, and Felps' trust that Richa would now do his part, and he did!

Each mob they encountered next, Richas and Felps stayed side by side. Felps let Richas kill them first bc he knows Richas likes it, but always helping and telling him how he was doing it well. When they were rowing around later in the boat, music playing, Felps went on about how it was all that mattered

Richas was alive, Felps was alive, they got a scare but they were okay now. And it was all worth it for these calm, happy moments. These were the ones that should be remembered, the ones that made it all worth it

#qsmp #felps #q!richarlyson

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bigification · 9 months

Text

Fit to Fat to Fit - Male TF

Nate stood in his bathroom, staring at his own reflection. "What have you become?" He asked himself. His untamed hair. His big ball belly. His moobs. It physically and mentally weighed him down. He grabbed a measuring tape and wrapped it around his gut. "48 inches, a new high. I'm truly at rock bottom."

He spent a few more minutes poking and prodding at his fat. Being more and more depressed as he discovered new rolls of fat and bulges that stuck out farther than they did before. He then pulled out his phone and started looking at photos of himself from years prior. He landed on one from 3 years ago. He had taken a selfie of himself in a jockstrap.

"That was the beginning of the end for me." Nate stared at the photo. It was taken just after he stopped playing hockey, though he never lost the appetite he had while he played. "Man I thought I was so fat in this photo. It was the first time I realized I was getting fat, but if he could see me now I don't think he would feel so bad. Or maybe he would feel worse knowing this is where he ends up in three years." Nate can't help but to spiral. He thinks of what he could have done differently. Maybe if he just stayed in hockey, or if he just slowed down on his eating after hockey. Maybe he wouldn't end up like this.

In the middle of Nate's spiral of self pity, his boyfriend Andres walked into the bathroom. He noticed the measuring tape on the counter and picked it up.

"You shouldn't worry about it so much, it happens when you're in your thirties and you have an office job." He said trying to cheer Nate up."

"That's not helping. Besides can't you just do your weird magic thing and make us skinny and hot again." Nate sulked.

"For one, I promised never to use that on us. And also you're hot now so why bother." Nate just sulked in response. "Look, if it makes you feel better, I know the feeling." Andres continued. "Before we met, I was so hot, so fit. I was even an underwear model, although that was due in part to me using my power to make myself skinny. But that's beside the point." He pulled up a photo of him from before the two had met and showed it to Nate.

"The point is that I fell in love with a beautiful man with amazing cooking and now look at me. In a couple years I turned into a fatass with a beer belly and I couldn't be happier." Andres gave his gut a jiggle.

Nate seemed to chuckle a little, lightening his mood. Though he still seemed to be unsatisfied with his body. "Can we at least get a personal trainer." Nate asked. "Fine, if you really want to." Andres responded, feeling as though his reassurances failed to comfort his boyfriend.

A couple weeks went by and it was time to meet with their new personal trainer. The couple had tried to begin adjusting their diet to ease into the training, but both of them had gained weight leading up to it. Nate's cooking was just too good to give up so easily. They both drove to the gym and paused in the parking lot to gain their composure before going in.

"Does this shirt make me look fat? I hope it's not too small." Nate asked Andres.

"No you look great!" Andres reassured.

"I'm scared our trainer is gonna be a dick. What if he's like some jock douchebag that's gonna make fun of us for being fat."

"Well we're paying him so I don't think he'll care how fat we are, I don't think he'll be a dick. He looked pretty nice in the photos on the website." Andres pulled up the photo of their trainer. "Ok, he kinda does look like a dick." Andres said. Their trainer was posed in his car, flexing and pointing at his arm with a smug look.

"You know what, don't worry about it. Let's just go in." Andres said quickly as he got out of the car and went to Nate's side of the car to drag him out of the car.

The two sheepishly entered the gym, being that it was the first time they had entered one in years. They made their way to a private office to meet with their trainer to discuss a routine and diet before the training would begin. They knocked on the door and a tall strong young man answered. "Andres and Nate, yes?" He said politely as he let them in. "Take a seat." The trainer said pointing at a couple chairs across the room. The chairs seemed to let out a squeal as the two men sat down.

The session went on normally. The trainer introduced himself as Kent. He then went through a workout schedule and a diet schedule after asking a few basic questions about their life. After a little while, Kent excused himself to get a protein shake before they would finish up the meeting.

While Kent was gone, Nate leaned in toward Andres. "He's nice but he's still kinda scary."

"Well maybe... I could make him less scary." Andres suggested.

"You mean-"

"Ya." Andres interrupted. "Have you ever seen fit to fat to fit?" He asked.

"No, what is it?"

"It's a show where personal trainers gain a lot of weight so they can then lose it with the person they're training. It makes the weight loss feel more personal cuz both of them are losing the weight together." Andres suggested.

"So you're saying we make him fat so he can lose the fat with us." Nate questioned.

"Yes!" Andres responded.

They were both interrupted when Kent entered the room. He sat down at his chair and began typing away at his computer. Andres winked at Nate as he got up and approached Kent. He put his hand on Kent's neck and he almost immediately froze. Fat started to pile into the young man's body. His cut six pack became a large muscle gut that stretched his shirt to its limit. His solid pecs became soft moobs that pressed firmly against his shirt. His arms started to look soft as a thick layer of fat covered his muscle, though they still looked large and imposing. His ass widened until it took up the entire office chair he sat in. And his legs thickened until they permanently rubbed against each other. Andres was feeling generous as a large bulge formed in Kent's pants. Finally Kent's jawline disappeared under a layer of fat and a double chin folded under his shirt stubble.

Andres seemed like he was just about to end the transformation, but wanted to add one final touch. Kent's face seemed to mature as wrinkles formed on his face and his hairline receded. It receded almost to the point of leaving bald. His build also seemed to change as his already broad shoulders broadened and his belly and ass stuck out a bit more. Finally Andres lifted his hand from Kent's neck and sat back down in his seat. "Now he's about our age, and much heavier. He should be no problem." Andres said confidently to Nate.

As if nothing had happened, Kent swung his chair around toward the couple. He lifted his hand up to his gut and began rubbing it.

"Well let's get started."

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an-angel-in-the-garden · 1 year

Note

Hiiiiii!

So, this might be a specific request, but Naraku from Inuyasha has been doing somethinnnng to me lately lol.

Basically, could I request a hurt/comfort thing with a reader that was emotionally abused as a child where Naraku fucks up, emotionally hurts his s/o, and they break down begging him to “not do this to them” saying that they “can’t do this again”?

Basically a thing where Naraku realizes that his actions have CONSEQUENCES, and sees how his words can destroy the person he actually gives a fuck about, and that they can’t be tossed around if he wants to keep them in his life.

Coming off of a rather long fic I went for my normal style with some headcanons. I hope you don't mind. TW for past child abuse. It's not really mentioned in detail but it's there. Arguments and yelling, threats of violence aimed at others,mentions of death and murder A somewhat toxic relationship. This is hurt comfort but the writing at the start is only hurt! If fighting is something that bothers you please skip it. Undercut is all comfort.

Naraku doesn't really know how to hold back in anything, be it a fight for his life or a mere argument with you

When the two of you fight it normally ends in him storming off before it can really blow up

You're the one person he really doesn't want to hurt but sometimes it happens, this is one such time

It might start small but fights can spiral out of control quicky and since Naraku never seems to realizes how painful his words can be it just builds

His voice is raised and at some point it becomes a one sided battle where all you can do is try and breath

" I truly shouldn't have expected much from some lowly human. No matter what I try to do it's like you just can't understand anything! Is it really too much to ask of someone like you?

it just goes on and on until you can't take it anymore, Naraku is ruthless when he gets like this and no matter how strong you are you can only bend so much

The breaking point is sudden and the tears just come rushing out soon sobs and the need to gasp for air follow

It's only then that Naraku falls silent, sharp eyes turn to you and freeze now unsure what to say or do

For the first time in many years Naraku feels a sense of guilt and doubt well up

However he's doesn't know what to say or do so when the silence only makes things worse and you start babbling out apologies while begging for forgiveness it hurts him in an unexpected way

It takes hours before either of you can properly talk and even longer before you can say you trust him again it leave Naraku feeling empty and uncomfortable, he'll do anything to fix it

It starts the moment you stop crying, he's still angry but now more at himself and the people of your past then anything else

At the start he won't want to apologizes it feels unnatural to him to bow down to anyone or admit he was wrong

This doesn't really last for long, a couple of hours at most before your silence and fear becomes unbearable to him

He's nearly begging for forgiveness now wanting nothing more then for you to look at him without fear

Gentle touches and soft whispers Naraku takes this chance to promise you the world and then some swearing silently to himself to rip apart those have hurt you before

He wants to wipe away the remains of everything bad that had happened but as a man somewhat stuck in the past he understand that's impossible so he opts for just trying to make it better

In the coming weeks Naraku will make sure all of his servants learn some new rules, no yelling, no fighting within view of you and no asking questions

Of course he plans to follow simple rules to show how dedicated he is to you

Gifts will be given when he can't find the right words and any names you gave him will be dealt with

Naraku will never fully change and you don't expect him to but he does learn to hold back

In the arguments still bound to happen he wills himself to keep his voice down, he no longer uses threats unless he's truly out of control ect

It's a rough start yes and something even after years of dating he would need to work but Naraku is nothing if not dedicated and for you he is willing to do anything

It's been a while since I wrote for Naraku but there's something about him I really love and love to hate. Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoyed my attempt at hurt comfort. ~ Lilly

#reader imagine #x reader #reader insert #reader x #naraku x reader #inuyasha imagines #inuyasha x reader #x gn reader

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malk1ns · 3 months

Note

Geno having slutty summer antics and Sid wanting to hear about them but also getting jealous/possessive? or talking about sex in a bro way that leads to 🔥🔥🔥

Sid really, really should not be doing this.

The negotiations between the owners and the PA are tenuous enough after the last mediator got canned. Sid's not even a union rep, not officially, but every time he's missed a meeting in the past because he had something else going on it felt like the entire hockey world went into a panicked spiral that the lockout would never end.

If he's caught flying to Russia? May as well cancel the entire season, at the one after while you're at it. Sidney Crosby defecting to the K means it's over, don't even bother trying anymore.

Sid slumps down into his seat and tugs his hat further over his eyes. He'd managed to hide in the lounge right up until boarding, and so far he doesn't think he's been spotted.

He packed his Kindle, hoping to read himself to sleep once they left New York. Instead, though, the Kindle is sitting on the empty seat next to him, and he's scrolling on his phone.

Thankfully wifi for first-class international flights are free.

Sid's kept in touch with all the guys who have scattered to try and play while the NHL is at a standstill. He doesn't hold it against anyone; if he had the choice, he'd be on the ice somewhere too. Between the hurdle of getting himself insured internationally and the clamor of the press for him to stay involved in negotiations, though, it just hasn't worked out.

He wonders how long until Pat realizes he's left the country and starts calling.

Really, though, it's not Sid's fault.

He and Geno had left things open, when Geno called to tell Sid he'd be going home to play until the NHL got its shit figured out. Sid hadn't wanted to hold Geno back from enjoying his time home, and he didn't think he'd have the free time required for the maintenance and upkeep of an extreme long-distance relationship; it would be easier for both of them to do their own thing until they were back in the same city.

It only took about a month for Sid to regret it.

Geno's regular Instagram was bad enough, but the private one he set up a few weeks into his contract in Magnitogorsk was even worse. Picture after picture of him out at clubs, dressed like Sid's never seen him in North America, draped over guys who have their hands all over him—and that's nothing compared to the stories he's sharing in the team chat when the guys razz him for dressing like a slutty club rat.

From the sounds of it, Geno's doing just as much damage to the club scene as he is his hometown team's points records. There's only so much bragging that Sid can be expected to endure.

The flight to Moscow is torturously long, and the airport is a dizzying array of unintelligible signs and fumbling through customs until he finds the ride he'd pre-arranged. His hotel room is blessedly silent, and Sid sleeps for a solid ten hours as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Geno's team is in town for a week and a half. The K's schedule is more relaxed than the NHL's, with plenty of days to relax built in after long flights. Geno's clearly been taking advantage of the downtime.

It only took a few phone calls to secure a suite to watch Metallurg take on Dynamo Moscow. Geno's hockey is as good as it's ever been, maybe better as he shows off in his hometown colors, and Sid watches him like a hawk, wishing he was sitting behind the bench where he'd be able to watch the sweat drip down the back of his neck.

The hallways here are a maze, but hockey arenas are the same everywhere, and Sid leans against the wall across from the visitor's locker room, clearing out missed calls and frantic texts as he waits.

Geno's one of the last ones out; not like he is in Pittsburgh, but then again, in Pittsburgh he's never left a game dressed like this.

Sid takes a minute to eye up his skintight jeans artfully torn at the thighs, and the short-sleeve shirt with some reflective design painted on it, then steps forward and grabs Geno's arm, yanking him down a side hallway he'd found earlier.

"Sid?" Geno sounds shocked, and Sid takes advantage of his confusion to back him up against the wall. "Sid, you're here—why? What's happen?"

Sid gets his hands on Geno's ass and squeezes. Geno yelps, but he reflexively pushes his hips forward. "I came to see you," he says, putting his lips to Geno's ear and nipping at his neck. "I wanted to get a piece of what you've been throwing at every big guy with a fancy wristwatch you've run into since you got here. Is that a problem?"

Geno whimpers, leaning back and sliding down the wall a little as he opens his legs.

"You're such a slut," Sid says fondly, reaching down and groping Geno's dick through his pants. He's already half-hard and Sid hasn't done anything more than manhandle him a little bit. "Thought I should come over and get mine before you're all used up. Do you have a curfew?"

"No," Geno gasps as Sid squeezes too hard over his shaft. "I'm go out tonight with Sanja, stay with him maybe, it's off day tomorrow."

Sid grinds his teeth. "You're not going home with Ovechkin," he says, stepping back and pulling Geno after him. "I've got a room down the road. If you're lucky, I'll let you out of bed before anyone thinks to come looking for you."

They probably get spotted on the way out. Geno's not exactly inconspicuous in his club clothes, and Sid didn't make any effort to be discreet.

Fuck it. He'll deal with the fallout later, once he's reminded Geno who he belongs to.

#hockey rpf #sidgeno

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neyswxrld · 3 months

Text

familiar faces

Reece x gn!reader

summary: After some months of uncertainty, you finally reunite with your loved one.

words: ~1780

warnings: reader is in a depressive state of mind, feelings of loneliness and hopelessness, injuries, kissing

a/n: hello! this is a somewhat special fic and a little thanks for @trixie2023! i really appreciate your lovely and kind reblogs, and now i finally had an idea how to bring reece into a fic with some @summer-of-bad-batch prompts: "it's just a scratch" & injured.

i hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

Just a few months ago, everything was fine. You were saying goodbye to the love of your life, Reece, wishing him good luck for the mission you agreed to stay behind and sit out from.

The two of you were helping Rex and his men out, supporting his clone rebellion as a thanks to how he helped Reece to escape the hands of the Empire.

The mission was supposed to be a rather easy one. A fellow clone called for help, and Reece and some of his other brothers had the task to pick him up.

You didn't exactly know what or how it happened, you just knew that Reece didn't come back.

None of them did.

The loss of him, the uncertainty if he was dead or in the Empire's hands again, maybe even on this mysterious Mount Tantiss place Rex and his brothers were looking for since so long, made you sick.

You felt awful, like your heart was ripped out. Empty. Sad. Upset. Angry.

You felt like someone pushed you into a deep, dark hole, and you weren't able to climb up again.

The light had left your life.

To say you were useless and not a big help for Rex was an understatement.

Deep inside, you knew that he just meant well when he sent you with Echo to that weird island his brothers lived on after the Teth incident. But you couldn't feel any different than like he was pushing you away.

You felt like he didn't want your help, like you were too much, and you were in his way.

It took you some time to grow somewhat accustomed to the tropical weather and the many polite people on the island.

And even though you still were empty inside, you slowly started to feel better.

You were friendly with most of the people, tried to help them.

You lived in your own small house almost on the top of the island.

Life started to become a little easier again.

At least until the Empire reached the island, looking for the girl who was with the Bad Batch, taking her with them.

It felt like your world was tumbling down again.

You pulled back after that. All those feelings you swallowed down came back rushing in.

You missed him.

You missed Reece so much.

His kind eyes, his warm laugh. The way he held you, made you smile. His stupid jokes that always made you laugh, the way time felt like nothing and all when he was with you.

You missed him so, so much.

The Batch went after the girl almost immediately. And even though you didn't have to do too much with them, you felt alone again.

Suddenly, there weren't any clones here anymore. No familiar faces. No one that could remind you of the love of your life and that made everything even worse.

From that point on, you were spiraling downwards.

You felt like no one could help you, except Reece. And at the same time, he just wasn't there.

Until that one day, when a small shuttle landed on top of the island.

You were trying to do your weekly shopping tour for food and things you'll need to survive, when the shuttle touched the ground.

A lot of people were wary at first. No one has been notified of visitors.

But then the door opened, and three (or four, if you counted the baby too) small figures stepped out of it, followed by a tall woman that looked just as unsure as the villagers.

Her name was Emerie, and she was one of the head scientists in Mount Tantiss. The Batch just started an attack, trying to free Omega. Freeing other clone prisoners while they were on it.

For the first time in a while, you felt a spark of hope in your chest. Normally, you would put it out and ignore it immediately, But this one time, you couldn't. Fully aware, that if Reece won't step out of the shuttle with the rescued prisoners, it would shatter you.

It took almost a whole other day, until you could hear a new shuttle approaching.

After the news, Emerie and the kids had, you put your bought stuff in your home, jittery and sloppy, not even putting everything away how it should be.

Since then, you lingered on top of the island, wringing your hands and waiting for the shuttle. The one shuttle that could bring him back to you.

Your nerves are on edge when you catch sight of the shuttle.

It touches down almost too slow.

The doors open.

You take a look at every single person stepping out of the shuttle.

You recognize the Batch, relieved at the way Omega stays close to them.

Echo is climbing down, nodding at you once. He looks relieved, but at the same time he is tense.

All around you are familiar faces, but at the same time you seem to recognize no one.

Your heart begins to crack.

When the last person steps out, you swallow dryly, almost embarrassed about how you could allow yourself to hope so much for such a little chance.

Shaking your head, you turn away, ready to drown yourself in your tears, when you hear a broken, painful gasp behind you.

Someone is calling your name.

No, not just someone.

You turn back in an instant.

There are two other clones left, now stumbling out of the shuttle slowly.

One leans heavily onto the other, holding on for dear life.

His face is pale, his hair grown out and messy. He clutches his side with one of his hands, a bloody, ripped shirt below.

"Reece?" you ask quietly, unbelieving.

"Yes," he says. His smile turns a bit painful as he starts to wobble towards you.

"H-How-... What?" you ask, still not understanding, that he indeed stands in front of you.

"The Empire got us after we picked him up," Reece explains and nods to the brother who keeps him standing. "Shipped us to Tantiss. But... But now we got out. What are you doing here?" he asks back, finally reaching you and putting his free arm around you.

"That's a long story," you whisper. His touch is soothing, familiar. And Suddenly you realize that he is really standing here, in front of you.

"Maker... Maker, I missed you. So, so much. I'm glad you're safe," he breathes as he puts some of his weight on you.

"Reece," you whisper again when he leans into your side, groaning with pain. "You're hurt. You shouldn't-"

"It's just a scratch. Everything is fine," he tries to soothe you, but with the way he's talking you just hear in how much pain he is.

"Stop lying, I see that that's not the truth. You need medical attention," you say, unconvinced and lay your arm around his back too, trying to support some of his weight.

"No, Echo already cleaned my wounds. All I need now is peace and quiet. And rest. And you," he tells you, a small smile on his lips as he looks at you.

Unconvinced, you shake your head, swallowing a few times.

He's really standing in front of you.

"Do you want to come home?" you ask him, and his smile grows.

"Yes, please," he nods. Together, you say goodbye to his friend, Nova, and start to walk down the street.

When you arrive, you try to help him as much as you can.

You give him food, something to drink. You help him clean up, wash his hair and look at his wound again.

His whole body is covered in bruises. Here and there are some small bacta patches, and he looks too thin. It makes him look even smaller than he already is, sitting on the edge of your bathtub like that.

You feel nauseous, but Reece just shakes his head. "It's not as bad as it looks. I'll live, I promise," he tries to soothe you.

"You promise?" you ask again.

"I promise."

You look into each other's eyes. Deeply. Loving. Longing.

"I never said it back earlier, but I really missed you, too. I felt so lost and incomplete. I'm so glad you're with me again. A-And I hope you can stay here for a while. I don't-" you begin, but Reece stops you.

"I'm not leaving you again," he breathes, promises you. "Never."

You look down at him, into his warm, brown eyes, and put your hands on his cheeks, stroking them with your thumbs.

"I'm not leaving you either," you assure him. He puts his hands on your hips, pulling you slightly closer, between his legs.

It's like the world slows down, and then there are just the two of you.

You bend down to him, he tilts his chin up, and then - oh so slowly and carefully - your lips touch.

And suddenly you know, how lonely you really felt in all those months.

Suddenly, you're complete again. Whole.

His beard tickles your face, his breath makes you feel alive again, and his lips on yours feel like heaven.

You missed him so much.

Only when he puts his hands on your face too, and wipe away some tears, you realize you started crying.

They're not tears of sadness or loneliness- They're tears of relieve and happiness. Of thankfulness. You're thankful he's here, and he's alive.

You know that the next days, weeks, or even months won't be easy. He sure as hell will have some fears and traumas to work through, but you know the two of you could put up with it. Could pull through. You would help him heal, and you are ready to give him everything he needs.

You're going to be fine, as long as you stay together.

Later that night, you lay in your bed together.

Carefully to avoid his wounds, you try to cuddle up to him. Like so often, he puts his arm around you and pushes you into his side.

For the first time in so long, you smell him again. Feel him again. He's laying here in bed with you again.

He's here again.

You still can't really believe it, almost too scared to close your eyes and fall asleep, only to open them again and realize it was just a dream.

His whispers soothe you, and you try to do the same with your gentle touches.

He's home again.

He's home, and he'll never leave you again.

Not able to fight sleep any longer, you close your eyes.

When you open them again, he's still there.

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@isthereanechoinhere96 @trixie2023 @freesia-writes

#clone trooper reece #reece x reader #the bad batch #star wars #tbb #tbb fanfiction #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch fanfic #the bad batch fanfiction #the clone wars #bad batch #summerofbadbatch2024 #it's just a scratch #week 3 #week2 #injured

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