#((guess who's (mostly) back from hiatus (it is me)))

[alllgator-blood]

updates/vent/idk

feel the need to post SOMETHING on here cause I've been gone so long, I don't think I'm going on a long hiatus or anything, I just don't like posting/replying to anything when I'm not doing well. I haven't been able to draw in a few weeks but I HAVE been working on plushies. I'll try to post some pics when they're done, I think you guys will really like them- I have shamura pretty much done aside from their robe, and aym + baal just need their faces and clothing details. About to start work on leshy but idk if he'll be done anytime soon, he's gonna be ginormous I hope. Actually the amount of cotl plush toys I've made is in the double digits and I haven't bothered to post any of them so I should really do that sometime...

give me til this weekend and I'll try to get some pics! Shamura in particular is my fave but I'm biased so that's no big surprise...

anyway vent type stuff below the cut, I can't get into detail about anything so it's a lot of nothing but it's mostly just an explanation for not being on much recently I guess.

I want to apologize for not responding to messages or asks or mentions or anything. I'm at a point where I can't mask like at all, and I feel sick thinking about posting or talking to anyone and pretending I'm alright, but I can't really talk about what happened either- so I'm at an impasse. I don't really know how to describe the year I've been having without getting into detail of what's been going on, and that's not terribly appropriate I don't think.

I wish I could concisely convey my feelings recently in a way that's not overshare-y, especially because there's not anything anyone can do to help, so I don't want to startle anyone?? I just don't feel good knowing there's people who want to talk to me but all my stupid ass can do is lay in bed and imagine I'm dead instead of typing some words back to them. I have a laundry list of conditions (big surprise huh?) so I easily crumple under any kind of stress, and when it's this prolonged with no reprieve or clear way out, it's hard to make it to the next day. It's hard to go online and seeing everyone able to act so normal while I feel like I'm in hell, idk. Waow it's just like that kallamar comic I did where he wanted 1 day off.....

All this stuff below the cut is pretty pointless but I think I just wanted to feel like I at least put it out there *somewhere* that I'm not alright, so I don't feel as guilty isolating. I promise there is a reason I've not responded to anyone in weeks or opened my messages. With time I'll get over it, I've lived this long so w/e, I just need time to feel shitty I think.

[bountycancelled]

house of cards (a challengers au)

requested: no, but send challengers reqs I BEG !

warnings: none :)

content: tension I guess? readers kind of a go with the flow typa gyal, but the flow is sometimes manipulative and evil so... tashi and art both play (different games but they still play) patrick is a loser, but he's my loser so it's okay lowercase intended, unedited.

a/n: back after like a half year hiatus, and im on my challengers bullshit, hope you enjoy this cuz I wrote in a day lol

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"you know, sometimes it feels like you hate me." the words leave your lips before you can stop them, coming out of your mouth with the kind of instantaneous honesty you learnt during your many years around tashi. admiring her, envying her, loving her, and hating her all the same.

she raises an amused brow, the sides of her mouth quirking up in a half smile. she probably thinks it's funny, your train of thought. you're in her dorm right now, laying on her bed with your head rested against her shoulder while some episode of some show serves as background noise. and yet, you seem unsure that she even wants you here.

but the one thing you can count on tashi to know, is what she wants. so if she's sure that she doesn't hate you, you should be too. "I don't hate you. I love you, more than usual, honestly."

that shouldn't make your stomach flip in the way it does, but you've always been a little like a hungry dog waiting to be thrown a bone when it came to affection, from anyone really (a problem that you thought you were working on effectively, you weren't.) but mostly tashi, who's affection was about as rare as the sight of her not playing tennis. well, maybe that comparison was in poor taste after the injury, but anyway.

"why is that?" you hope you don't come off as eager as you are to hear what you've done to further place yourself in her good graces (you do, but don't worry, tashi thinks it's cute.)

"you're the only one who still plays tennis with me. real tennis." she nudges you off of her shoulder as she speaks, forcing you to look at her, leaving you to tackle that feeling that always seemed to arise whenever she was close. a feeling that would rather die that put a name to.

god, you were such a tryhard when it came to her. you let her tell you about her escapade with the notorious 'fire and ice' duo, art and patrick. you assured that it was totally okay to pit two friends against each other for the prospect of getting her, you nodded along when patrick came out victorious, and you comforted her when she eventually broke it off.

and the cherry on top of this absolutely miserable sundae of yours, you played exactly the same way you used to play with her, because you knew it was what she wanted, and anything she wanted, you'd give it to her.

and she knew that, of course. one of the reasons she kept you around.

she brought her face close to yours, so close, closer, closer... before turning your own face to plant a kiss on your cheek, deciding to pay attention to the show you two had put on her laptop, completely shattering what you thought had been a moment between you and her. not the first time she's done that, not the last time you'll think that.

you inhale and exhale deeply, willing yourself to not spend the whole night picking that last ten seconds of that interaction apart, trying to analyse if you were running on pure delusion, or if something had been there, between you two.

but you do anyway, and you don't come to a solid conclusion. when it comes to tashi, you never do.

¤

¤

your run in with patrick is unexpected, but what is expected is just how fucking miserable he looks. you debate just leaving the diner all together, finding another place to eat. hell, not eating at all would be better than whatever conversation you could possibly have with the ex boyfriend of your best friend. the poor thing is still wearing that grey 'I told ya' shirt, and it's evident that he isn't taking any of this well.

you understand both of them, patrick blames himself (it's not his fault, at least not to you) and tashi needed someone to blame. there's a small part of you thats just glad you weren't the one that she chose, but it's small, and the bigger parts of you just want to pull patrick into a hug, but you're unsure of how appropriate that would be. unsure of if he would even want that from you. because you're not actually on his side, you'd never be on the side opposing tashi, and patrick knows that.

that doesn't stop his eyes from lighting up in hopeful recognition as he spots you awkwardly lingering by the entrance, and now you have to go and sit with him because you are not about to kick a dog while it's down. you flag down a waiter and order for yourself, turning to face him with a pensively worried expression.

"are you... okay?"

patrick laughs at your words, not because he thinks it's funny that you ask. (even in the event that you're just pretending to care, he's just thankful that you humoured him by sitting down) he laughs because he knows that you know that he's not. even if the two of you were strangers, you'd sense his misery from the second you entered and took one look at him.

"never better. foods here." he changes the topic swiftly, and you're starving, so you don't try to redirect it, stuffing your face almost as unapologetically as he is. but once the food finishes and you await the bill, you take another long look at him, and the sadness in his eyes make your heart ache.

you don't owe anything to patrick, but for whatever reason, you find yourself reaching for his hand, holding it in your own and giving it a comforting squeeze, smiling back at him sympathetically when he flashes you a grateful half smile.

maybe it's the unique circumstances of the breakup, or his sad brown eyes, or that one time you two played a "friendly" game right before him and tashi got together (the looks he gave you from across the court would be misplaced, but tennis was intrinsically sexy, and so was patrick, so you tried not to overthink it. tried.)

or maybe it's the emalgumation of every look that would make you squint curiously at him, every casual touch that would last too long because patricks patrick, every tipsy kiss on the cheek, or shoulder squeeze, but after you two leave the diner (he pays, and you feel bad about it, but don't comment further.) but when you face each other outside the establishment, the sunset painting the sky, you pull him into a hug.

the hug feels... far too intimate for two friends (were you still friends? you weren't sure.) but, whatever. he's hurt, grieving the loss of someone that would surely break you if you lost them and the loss of his own best friend, so you're not gonna judge. he wraps his arms around you slowly, hiding his face away in the crook of your neck, holding you so gently that a passerby would think that you're the one being comforted.

you tell him to call you if he ever feels lonely, immediately regretting your language because it sounds like you wanna fuck him, but he understands what you meant. and then, you say your goodbyes.

you don't tell tashi about that interaction. and you don't think you will.

¤

¤

your run in with art isn't intentional, but he's grateful for it.

he knows that you and tashi usually run drills together at the courts on saturdays, its not crowded since everyone is in their dorms trying to piece themselves together after a shitty week. but he also knows that tashi needs to rest right now, so you'd most likely be alone. but he doesn't strike then, the racket in your hand will make you too focused, he knows that all too well. you'd be giving him one word answers, barely paying him any mind and probably wanting him to fuck off as soon as possible.

so while he's wracking his brain, thinking of another opportunity to find a way in with you, because being closer to you meant being even closer to tashi, he's seconds away from getting on his knees and praising the gods above when he sees in the cafeteria, alone.

him being there for her when the injury happened was simply happenstance, and he was lucky in a roundabout sort of way, getting to comfort tashi and hopefully building a good image of himself in your mind, because you were there too, of course.

but that wouldn't cut it. he needed to be truly in with you, and he needed a new best friend anyway, he'd basically sold his last one off, so this was a two birds, one stone kind of situation.

you don't look up when art sits in front of you. because one, you know its him, he has the nervous kind of energy whenever he's around you, different to the kind of nervous energy he has when tashis around, but you can still sniff him out regardless. and two, you're still feeling shitty about that whole... thing with patrick, too shitty to care that blondies over here in front of you, trying to get in with tashi.

"they stale or something?" he asks, his smile stupidly warm and inviting as he points towards the cheese fries on your plate, completely untouched. you shoot air through your nose, smiling despite yourself before giving him a response. "no, I'm just grappling with the fact that I'm a shitty friend, and maybe even a shitty person in general."

he hums, holding his hand towards your tray as a silent question, and you push it towards him nonchalantly, letting him take what he wants. he feels way too good about a simple tray, but something about you sharing your food gives him hope that you haven't completely ruled him out.

"well, think about it this way. the average person needs to have at least one of these traits in order to be liked. talent, kindness or looks. you're a fucking beast on that court, and you're gorgeous, so you don't even need to worry about being a good person." it's easy to butter you up a bit, because the words he's saying are true, and he had a feeling that telling you what he honestly felt was the route to go with.

you roll your eyes at his words, but the compliment makes you bite back a smile. you're only human, after all, and not even you are invincible to the charms of one art donaldson.

but you keep your cool, waiting for the inevitable of him bringing up tashi, with the obligatory acting like that wasn't why he sat with you in the first place. but it comes later in the conversation than you thought it would, he asks if she's doing any better, and you answer with an honest 'no.'

maybe this is just another one of his tactics, pretending that he's fully interested in getting to know you with no tashi shaped ulterior motive. but it works. because you end up talking over your now empty tray for a while, so long that you're late to your next class.

the look that he gives you when you leave is one of longing, but it was a specific kind longing, one linked to tashi. that's what art tells himself too, as he watches you walk away.

[twopoppies]

hello Gina, hope you’re having a good day or night right now, whenever you’re reading this:) i believe Harry and Louis are still together and i’m not a new larrie, but i’m pretty new to tumblr and even tho i checked most of your Denials tag, i still wanted to ask about your overall stance on the denials; i know we are talking about things happening over the course of 15 years so it’s not easy to answer simply; but do you think the denials in the past were because of Syco, of the whole management, like you know - they (mostly Louis) were forced to do it? and how about now, the last 2-3 years, do you think there is still a posibility of them being forced or is it more about PR, marketing, as from i managed to notice, the biggest websites post about Louis only when he talks about Larry. for me it’s all a little bit confusing and i noticed that the denials are usually so incredibly weird. like the iphone conspiracies, phone calls, chicken parmesan - so messy. my question is more about what do you think was & still is the reason for constant denials, the root of it happening? my faith is pretty strong and solid, i think we got enough proof from them to be sure of it all; but i can’t lie, sometimes i feel lost thinking about the denials, wondering if it’s PR, if it’s any contract, whatever they signed. if you wanna link any other posts, yours or from other larries unpacking it all - i would be very thankful, but i also wanted to know your opinion on this. also, i know you’re not Louis and you’re not Harry, we can’t be 100% sure what’s exactly going on so i’m just asking about your personal thoughts on this topic. thank you so much in advance and sorry for making it long x

Hi love. I don’t think I have any other links besides the larry denials tag, but other than Daisie, I think @skepticalarrie has some good stuff on her blog.

As for my opinion, yeah, I think the earlier denials were pushed by Simon/Sony and Louis really had no choice. The more recent ones confuse me, mostly because they’ve been so random and out of nowhere and just dumb. Every time he does it, he loses fans. On top of it, it not only doesn’t get rid of larries, it actually cultivates a new breed of larrie who think everything he says is a lie and everything he does is a clue.

My only real guess for why he does it is that it would be easier for them if larries would be a bit more laid back these days. I think they know they have support if they were to come out (although I don’t think that’s happening soon), but they don’t need us screaming about it at the top of our lungs.

I do think they’ve had some rough patches over the years since hiatus. But I tend to think things are in a better place now and that they’re together. But very truly, I have no interest in proving it and I really think at this stage in the game, the obsessive “bluegreening” of some larries does HL more harm than good.

[barbieaemond]

By nature, I tend to ruminate on things and boy did I ruminate on this. I’ve watched, I read, I listened to different opinions and I formed my own.

There’s no winning side in all of this. That’s how I see it. Condemning the disgusting and racist behaviour is a sad refrain that it’s useless to sing again. What saddens me mostly is that while I appreciate, I really do, people taking accountability for their wrong doings, I cannot but think that for some time you took part in that mean game, as you publicly stated. And more than the following inaction, it’s precisely this knowledge that baffles me. Yes, we may all have talked behind the back of a friend at least once in our life, but to this level? And what for?

And yes, those screenshots may be doctored but in my opinion that’s not the point. The point for me is that you undermined my trust in you and in your future interactions with me. That is why it’s best for me to distance myself. I want my blog to be a safe space. I am by nature a very anxious person and I don’t want, I don’t need, to second guess everything, a like, a comment, wondering “did they really think that?”.

I’m not disappearing or going on hiatus because this is my little escape from life, but I’ll limit my activity to only posting gifs.

I send my mutuals who got bullied and harassed my deepest love, and I hope everyone will eventually heal from all of this.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i asked for help from the ppl who i harassed for months?

ok so basically i (18f, at the time 16f) really like this group. but one day they just went on "indefinite hiatus" for no reason. and obviously i was really mad. so after a few months of trying to pick the right person to blame i decided it was entirely thr fault of this one asshole, who literally went and made his OWN GROUP like right after this hiatus was announced. the little turd clearly wanted out due to hating his members. and that's not even the worst part. he actually started gaining traction after this dumb little move. and after the turd made a collab with a pretty popular kpop group (and we all know how kpop stans are with their mass streaming) this loser was getting more attention than thr guy that I LIKE.

my guy was the most talented pretty and popular member of the group when it was active, and he could sell out dome tours with his solo work all the time. he just did that in fact. but now that this other bitch was using kpop stans for clout he was the one getting all the attention. and it rubbed off on his group he made and their trash music as well. but this isn't about him it's about me.

like i said i got really upset, and once i decided this was all turd boy's fault, i shamelessly harassed fans of this "person" and the dumb little group he made, mostly by way of spamming gore in their discord servers and wikis. this lasted for months until one of them eventually doxxed me back. i'll admit i shouldn't have done all of this. but i was just fighting against traitors in the industry.

but, it's been over a year since then. and i've moved on. until a few weeks ago. this third guy "came out" in a clear pr stunt. like with a whole press confrence and everything he didnt even try to hide it. and then he dropped a new song right after. somebody's jealous of the sold out dome tour!

but not everyone realises its a pr stunt. ppl are falling for it and streaming the new somg. and if the hype doesn't die down soon my guy will be in THIRD. i can't let that happen or else i'd be a failure but i have a plan.

hypothetically, i would slide back into the discord server, explain my dilemma, and maybe stans of the first turd would be willing to mass stream my guy's amazing new song and i guess i'll mass stream whatever crap their guy shat out recently. they're smart people, they doxxed my cats after all. i'm sure they'll understand.

but i fear that it would be kind of a dick move to act all buddy buddy with a server who i went crazy on and harassed for months on end. but on the other hand i can't let my idol be at only third most monthly listeners in his old group!! so i don't know what to do, wibta if i went through with this?

What are these acronyms?

[chairofchaos]

All That Follows

Pairing: Azriel/Eris (Azris my beloveds)

Summary: Sequel to ‘Death’ which is, in turn, the start of a sequel to “When the Blood Burns” - I’m ngl guys I’m too tired to write a summary sorry lol just… trust me please and see A/N

Rating: Teen? I guess?

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: allusions to violence, references of past violence from “When the Blood Burns” and “Death” (ik, you’re like “seriously Chaos? With THIS SERIES? THAT’S IT???” But like… yeah?) AND serious canon divergence. And written on mobile so truly HORRIBLE formatting. (See below)

A/N: ‘Twas the night before hiatus, and all through the house, a few creatures were sleeping but Chaos certainly wasn’t.

I wanted to post & All That Follows on this date, for reasons you might remember if you reread ‘Death’ first (wink wink). On that note: I don’t have time to finish the Masterlist edits I made on this blog. If you go to @fictionalchaos you can see all the posts really easily through that masterlist (Blood, Burns and/or Burns CV, then Death) or you can use the search function. I am so sorry about that. In the meantime, enjoy this completely unedited, un-beta-ed rough (ROUGH) draft of the series finale (but likely not installment, there’s some stuff ~missing~ from the middle) of the WtBB saga. All my love to you all. Enjoy today for me. 💛

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Azriel?”

It was warm. Uncharacteristically warm.

“Az!”

A solid hand gripped his shoulder and shook him.

“Azriel Vanserra.” Eris’ voice was firm.. “Get up.”

Eris.

Azriel’s eyes shot open. It felt like someone was banging on his head.

Eris. Eris.

“I’m here,” Eris smiled.

“Eris,” Azriel choked, the tang of blood lingering a moment on his tongue.

Eris laughed, “Hello.”

“I had to kill you,” Azriel whispered, his brain finally snapping to attention. “Over and over, I— I know it. Why don’t I remember it?”

“Ah,” Eris winced. “People don’t seem to remember things about the in between as much as know them. Here, sit up.” He pulled out a canteen from his hip, offering it to Azriel, who sat up, took it and drank deeply. When was the last time he had had water?

“The in-between?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Its a path of sorts. To here.”

“Here,” Azriel replied, fumbling for Eris’ hand, his wrist, Eris himself, as if he could retreat within the body of his mate and never return to himself.

“Here. Where we are now. Look around,” Eris gestured. “What do you see?”

You, Azriel thought. I see you, and that is all that matters.

Eris was waiting patiently, letting Azriel dig his fingers into the flesh of his wrist— warm, real— until he stopped staring, his chest and head pounding with some dull thud of feeling. Was it his heartbeat, the sound of blood rushing in his veins? It had been so long, so long…

The glen. Azriel blinked, and the world came to him all at once. They were in the glen, Eris kneeling by Azriel’s side the way Azriel had knelt at his to heal him in life.

Where they had lay together and stared at the stars.

Their dreams, breathed on the air and planted in the soil, absorbed into the trees where they were fed by the leaves and the magic of the earth around them, dreams held in nature when they could not be held in hearts.

“Why here?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because it’s the only place I’ve ever felt free, and you were brought to me?”

“Was I?” Azriel stared, incredulous. The corners of Eris’ eyes crinkled the way they always had when he was happiest.

“You appeared here, just now.”

“Eris,” Azriel growled. “Where is here?”

“I don’t know,” Eris admitted evenly, sitting beside him. “Truly. What I do know is this isn’t the end, either.”

Azriel just stared. Eris reached over and brushed a blade of grass from Azriel’s leathers. They were both dressed as they had been the last time they were left the clearing: Azriel, ready for battle, Truth Teller strapped to his side and Illyrian blades at his back. Eris wore light armor, leather mostly, over a plain shirt and trousers. A dagger was strapped to his belt, and on the grass next to him, a broadsword gleamed in the sunlight.

“Others have come and gone,” Eris continued. “No one I knew, or at least, no one I recognized. Everyone comes a little differently. It’s hazy, sometimes. I think people take different paths. But we aren’t meant to stay here.”

“Where do we go?”

Eris shrugged, leaning back on his free hand. “I don’t know.”

Azriel glanced around the clearing, tightening his grip on Eris so as not to let him go, not to lose him again, again, again—

It was light. When was the last time he had felt the sun on his face?

He fluttered his wings gently, then stretched them out. Eris squeezed his hand, then stood.

“You can fly, you know,” he gestured up at the sky. “I see fae all the time flying overhead.”

“Would I lose you?”

Eris shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

A movement at the edge of the clearing drew their attention. A female stepped into the clearing. Her eyes were clear as she looked about, but it was as if she barely saw them. Azriel realized if he didn’t focus, she barely registered to him as anything more than a shift of the light. The female walked evenly across the clearing, not pausing once.

The thought came to him suddenly, a raindrop before a deluge. “They are all going somewhere?”

“Yes.”

“You’re here.”

Azriel stared as the light filled Eris’ eyes in recognition. “I knew you would come. You always have.”

“You waited for me,” Azriel breathed.

“I did,” Eris knelt on one knee, reaching for Azriel’s hand. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“I killed you,” Azriel accepted the offered hand and rose with Eris. “I was the reason you died, the reason we didn’t have a life together.”

Eris smiled softly, embracing him. “I know.”

“I pierced your heart,” he whispered.

“‘It was always so.’”

“You spoke to the Mother.”

“I did.”

“She told you it always happened that way.”

“She did.”

“Did she say why?”

“Not in any way that was satisfying. What was more interesting was what she said about here.”

A beat. Two. “Well?”

“I could wait for you forever, or I could journey on alone. I had the choice,” Eris’ voice turned bitter, “A choice we weren’t offered in life. A chance to walk together under the sun.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. The Mother said you may know, if you considered it.”

Azriel blinked, the memory flashing behind his eyes. Eris, or rather, a creature who was not Eris, eyes as black as the depths of the night sky. Truth Teller, plunged into Not-Eris’ chest over and over. The Mother’s face from under her veil, the veil lifting.

“She helped us.”

“Oh?”

“Somehow, I think-” Azriel shuddered. “I think she intervened. She promised me I would see you again.”

A russet eyebrow crooked toward the sky. “And?”

He loves you more than life itself.

Life itself.

“Eris,” Azriel stepped backward, looking his mate in the eyes. “Did you make a bargain during the war?”

Eris paled. “What?”

“Did you make a bargain during the war?”

Eris took a sharp breath.

“Eris.”

“Yes,” he snapped. “I did.”

“What was it,” Azriel breathed. The pounding in his chest and head was now a crushing, steady pressure, a strain on his strength. “What was the bargain?”

“That you would survive the war.” The words flew from Eris’ mouth like embers from a fire- small, and yet scorching. “That you would live.”

The pressure in Azriel broke, and the mating bond roared to life, as if that ember of truth had burned away some floodgate and water now crashed against them.

“I recieved a letter from a Seer I knew from my youth. He— stop looking at me like that, I was trying to figure out how to tell you all of this— he said a vision he had showed a bat injured, and another bat dead trying to save his friend. That it showed it was from this war. And that my mate was involved, somehow, and how he knew that I don’t know, but I couldn’t let it happen, Azriel. I couldn’t let you die. When I saw Cassian stumbling away, I knew it was that moment. I didn’t know what it would do. I’m so sorry, Azriel,” Eris whispered, dropping his head to Azriel’s shoulder. “I’ve spent this whole time trying to figure out how to tell you, how to make it up to you, but I can’t.”

“Who was the bargain with, who has that kind of power?”

“The Cauldron,” Eris frowned. “I didn’t realize what I had done until a tattoo appeared over my heart.”

“Here?” Azriel rested a finger against Eris’ chest, a precise spot he was familiar with from nightmares and repeating that offense over and over again, until the suffering was over. He was here. They were both here. Alive, or whatever it meant to be conscious in a time and place after a life you have passed through.

Eris nodded.

“A warning,” Azriel mused. “To be careful.” He stroked Eris’ spine, neck to shoulder blades to lower back, and back up again. His mate, his beloved mate, who had done everything in his power to save him and gotten killed in the process. Until his breathing evened, Azriel would hold him. They had been alone for so long, and now all they had was time.

“She said that to me, too. It’s about me.”.

“No, I think it’s about both of us.” He paused a moment, then continued, “Eris, did you call me Azriel Vanserra?”

Eris lifted his head at last, a small smirk playing on his lip. “A little fireling told me you changed your name. I bet Father hated it.”

Azriel laughed. “He did. Every second of it, but I did it in Night and never left the court again. There wasn’t anything he could do to stop me.”

Eris shook his head. “You always were strong willed.”

“And you were always impulsive.”

“Could be said about both of us.”

“Strong willed, too.”

It was quiet a moment.

“Where do we go now?” Azriel asked.

“That way,” Eris nodded over his shoulder.

“Should we talk while we walk, then?”

“I think so. Are you ready?”

“Ready to walk?” Azriel raised a teasing eyebrow. Eris rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“Walk, yes. Are you ready?”

“I am. Are you?”

Eris smirked. “Ready to walk, and ready for what might follow.”

Azriel laughed. “What, like stargazing? Or like battle? You don’t seem concerned.”

“No. No stargazing. My star is right here,” Eris kissed him gently. “As for everything else, well, we’ll have to see what comes.”

Azriel watched as he bent to pick up the broadsword, wrapping the sword belt around his waist and buckling it with practiced fingers. “Well, if we don’t know what’s coming, we’ll have to stick together.”

“Always,” Eris agreed, eyes flashing.

“Through anything that comes,” Azriel promised.

“And all that follows.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @unanswered-stars (I owe you many thanks, especially for going starting this wild ride with your lovely request.) @ninthcircleofprythian @dusk-muse @lilah-asteria @chunkypossum @c-starstuff-man0

Give me a shout VIA ASK WHILE IM ON HIATUS PLEASE if you want on/off the tag list (general or Azris or what have you). Thank you!

[homecomingvn]

Hey everyone! It's, uh, it's certainly been a minute.

If my brief return a few months ago and then radio silence yet again is any indicator, I'm sure most of y'all probably know where this is going.

HOMECOMING, as of now (and for the indefinite future) is going to be on hiatus, and maybe discontinued.

This project initially started out as a silly idea, a culmination of my love for the yandere vn community and the wonderful games it has created, and my original plot and cast of characters. In the beginning, I was trucking along, working on scripts, planning out routes, spending hours of research on coding and how to get this thing up and running. Not to mention, the attention my silly lil project garnered was a lot. At least to me. I've had a semi popular writing blog before, and was no stranger to inbox asks, and how they pile up, or the notes that popular posts can get.

I was far too ambitious in all honesty, and once the glitz and glamor of a new project wore off, I hit a massive wall. Hard. It seemed that to actually work on HOCO was much like pulling teeth - whether it was writing, drawing, or even *thinking* about it, I found myself sinking further and further into a imposter syndrome of sorts.

And well, I guess making this announcement is sort of proving it right.

Even so, I've always known when to take a step back, when to settle down -- and now, I'm just making it official. I owe you all at least that much.

The blog will be staying up - I have no plans to delete it in the slightest. I'll just log out of it most likely - I'll still be around on my personal tumblr, where I'll hopefully start being more active there again.

Nothing could have prepared me for just how much care, how much love you guys have shown HOCO - so much so, it's still hard to believe. All the fanart, the fanfic, the memes - they're all saved to my phone, in their own album. Thank you to all who have made amazing creations for my silly characters, as well as the countless asks y'all have sent - maybe one day I'll be able to answer all of them.

I really hope one day I can return to this project with fresh eyes -- I'm hoping real, substantial time away from it will help that process. There are other, personal projects that I've been doing that have helped that creative spark again, as well as indulging in traditional fandom activities, mostly fanart. Unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that my time in the Yan VN community is over for the time being, at least until/if I start working on HOCO again. (Or whenever I play the latest updates of 14DWY - I am the Leon Fan Club President after all ^^).

I've been rambling too long, and I think it's time to close this chapter for now. Thank you all again - and one last Henry for the road. They were there since the beginning of HOCO in 2019, so it feels right for them to be here at the end.

[sflow-er]

Writing tag game

Thank you so much for the tag @starvalisedham!

I'm going to follow your example and put a cut here...

How many works do you have on AO3? Nine. -

What’s your total AO3 word count? 356,524... Sounds like a lot, but the number is skewed by one 238k longfic. -

What fandoms do you write for? Only Young Royals since I started again. I'm not going to name the fandoms for which I wrote before my 14-year hiatus, but most of them were anime. -

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Other people's secrets (1,245) Matters of adjustment (198) The real deal (186) Like you better (161) Last chance (138) I write (mostly ace) fic about background characters in a fandom that leans heavily towards the juggernaut ship, so with that in mind, I'm very proud of these numbers! -

Do you respond to comments? I always respond to comments on my WIPs! Those mainly come from a handful of regulars, and the comment section is a lovely little community for discussing each chapter. I also used to respond to every comment on my finished works, but I've had too much on my plate in the last year or so to keep it up. Lately, I have actually been so low on "spoons" that even a couple of comments from readers who had related to the story in meaningful ways have been left hanging... I don't think I'll ever clear the backlog but I will get to those particular comments eventually! ETA: This game gave me the kick I needed to reply to one of them! Yay! -

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My August character study/background fic Årnäs, February 2016. It depicts him as an isolated and impressionable twelve-year-old who idolises his manipulative and emotionally abusive father and has difficult feelings about/for his absent mother, and it does not end on a cheerful note. -

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All my finished Walty fics end happily! It was a conscious choice I made when I started writing them as an ace/allo pairing. As to which is the happiest, I guess it's a matter of opinion. Maybe Other people's secrets, as the long time spent with the characters and their struggles adds to the payoff, but you could also argue for the shorter fics which are fluffier throughout. -

Do you get hate on fics? I have received some anon hate here on tumblr for posting the same kinds of takes that I write in my fics, but the response to my actual fics has always been lovely. Some of my regular readers may occasionally question something, but they are always nice about it. We have great discussions! Oh, and I do have one rude public bookmark on OPS. It upset me a bit but I wouldn't necessarily count it as hate. -

Do you write smut? Not at present, no. I did write some before my long hiatus, but back then, I was just emulating what I had read. Somehow, it was easier to take the scenes and the characters' supposed experiences at face value when I had no personal frame of reference. I mean, smut is always exaggerated fantasy, and there are plenty of ace writers who excel at it! But to me personally, as a grey ace who struggled for years with my very bland experience of sexual attraction, anything I write just feels disingenuous and takes me to a really weird head space. I don't want to write a story or scene where I can't buy into the characters' thoughts and emotions at all, and I just can't seem to manage that with smut. Still, a day may come when I feel differently. You never know! -

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nah, I'm not really creative enough to combine storyverses. -

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of! Although everyone who's got unlocked works on ao3 has probably had their works scraped into the CommonCrawl dataset (and potentially others) used to train AI, and I only started locking mine halfway through 2023 so... -

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. -

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not co-written, I don't think that would work for me as even the thought of a beta reader stresses me out. But I did ask my spouse (who has extremely relevant professional experience) to help me get August and Carl Johan right in ÅFeb16! It was a really great experience. -

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've got two languishing WIPs on ao3 at the moment, but I fully intend to finish both of those. I also have some unpublished ones: a one-shot of August and Rousseau at Årnäs, and a multi-POV Walty + Stedrika + Madisander fic. I still have some hope of finishing the one-shot someday, but the multi-POV one is probably doomed. -

What are your writing strengths? I've been told my dialogue is good and the more straightforward style I use for it contrasts nicely with my frillier style of prose. Also, people have said they like my characterisations and the way I write (romantic and other) relationships. I'm good at research and worldbuilding, and I like to think the overall quality of my writing is okay when I'm not too stressed. -

What are your writing weaknesses? I'm too wordy and write my teenage characters too mature, but those weaknesses pale in comparison to my problems with compulsive editing, perfectionism, and excessive self-criticism. I get stuck in rewriting loops and easily spiral into writer's block. Oh, and I'm terrible at maintaining a healthy life/writing balance. I neglect my wellbeing and burn myself out when I feel creative, and when real life gets stressful, the quality of my writing declines or I can't write at all. -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I do not mean to criticise anyone who likes to use it, everyone can do whatever they like in their own stories! But as a professional translator, my work is all about conveying a message written in one language in another language, as fluently as possible. I can't just turn that mindset off for writing. If I write a story about Swedish-speaking characters in English, I'm going to approach it the same way I'd approach the translation of a Swedish story into English. The English dialogue is already understood to be in Swedish, so to me personally, it makes no sense to render random bits of it in Swedish. (Of course, a character suddenly speaking a language other than Swedish is a totally different matter, but I assume the question isn't about that.) Not to mention that languages work differently, from word choice and connotations to grammar and from communicative conventions to thought patterns. My focus is on making the dialogue flow in English, and I'm too much of a perfectionist to mix in phrases or sentences that a native Swedish speaker might not even say in that context. (That goes both ways as I also try my best not to use fully English-based word plays etc., but sometimes they slip by me.) Again, that's just my opinion and the logic I apply to my own fics. Everyone who disagrees with me is just as valid! -

First fandom you wrote for? I wrote a fix-it fic for Final Fantasy X in my English notebook back in seventh grade. Never posted it anywhere, but it still counts! -

Favourite fic you’ve written? Other people's secrets. It was the first fic I wrote after all those years of thinking I'd never write again, and considering how massive a project it was, I'm enormously proud of myself for having finished it. It's one of the best stories I've ever written, and one of the most meaningful (to me personally, and I guess also to some of the people I've heard from). That being said, I am also extremely proud of ÅFeb16, which is my most mature writing so far - and of my outlined version of The Windsor! I've only managed to post one chapter of the latter, but if and when I eventually finish it, I think it will be my third favourite. It's an aged-up retrospective and explores some themes I've actually wanted to write since outlining OPS back in 2021.

Phew, that was the last question! Thanks for reading all this way! <3 No-pressure tags: I feel like most of my writing mutuals have been tagged already, but maybe @silvagrey @sunnyelfs @crownedwille would like to join...?

[animasola86]

missing you queenie are you okay 😭

Thank you for your concern! T_T

I am okay, please do not worry, I'm just (still) taking a social break, if you will? I'll be more active again very soon, I promise! <3

(Read below for a proper update that got a little out of hand :3)

I have one story (aka about 13 chapters) more or less ready to publish (something rather dark, see more info below), while I'm also working on another story that's like the exact opposite theme-wise on the side. Let's just say, writing has been going very well, but (unfortunately?) I had to let a few new ideas out of my brain first before I can focus back on existing stories.

That said, I wanna use this ask to answer a few others too.

(I'm really sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner or answered you individually, just know that even if I don't always reply in time or at all, I always read what you guys send me, and I'm really grateful you're spending your time writing me, so thank you for that, and please don't be discouraged if I don't get back to you! I see you, always! <3)

Innocence Lost is not abandoned, but on hiatus. Someday, I will get back to Ben and Nebbia. Someday. I don't know when (probably when inspiration strikes). So, please stay patient!

Dear @bnnyvrqnor - I was a little taken aback, actually XD Maybe mostly because I'm always surprised when people come forward praising Innocence Lost and wanting more of Ben and Nebbia. Thank you for your interest, it really means a lot! Like I said above, I will get back to them, they still live very lively in my mind, wanting their story to continue too. So hang in there, they'll get their happy ending (or at least a bit more screen time!), soon/eventually. :)

Lost & Found is taking a break, but it will return soon(ish). I have many plans for Mommy, Daddy and Pumpkin, and I will get to them, eventually.

Dear ✨ anon, I've read your ideas and I thank you for sharing them! They will definitely go on my list of possible things the three of them can experience together, the party one and the "pumpkin loves autumn" one. Lots to do with them, and hopefully, my brain lets me write them all down soon! :3

Infatuated will return too, eventually (take a shot every time I say that >_>). Part 2 of Season 3 is in the works, but as I'd like to finish writing the whole thing first, it might take a while for me to upload new chapters. There could be a little intermission chapter, though. Someday. Stay tuned.

Abandoned and Forgetful are both technically finished, but also on hold, the latter I have to say I do lack ideas and motivation to continue, I'm sorry.

The same goes for the promised continuation of my werewolf smut series. But never say never, I could wake up one day and suddenly have the energy to write more for those stories, who knows.

@ ✨ anon again: Thank you for the Interest in Forgetful and the idea about Mistress' life. I have to be honest, I poured all my energy into a different Mistress, into Mommy from Lost & Found, so I feel like all the former Mistresses will inevitably end up similar to her, just like they all came from the same Mistress who I introduced in Infatuated. So, like I said, unless motivation strikes, I don't think I'll venture back into Forgetful's storyline/characters, sorry.

Future projects: (I should have known that you're going to pick up on this, my dear 🥒 :D nothing gets past you! <3) So the story mentioned above (and teased with my latest inspiration pic over on @animasolaoriginal) will be called FORCED!

It'll focus on a Master/pet (slave/servant) dynamic and unlike my other stories, there will be no comfort, no aftercare, just rough sex and the darkest kinks I could think of. I just needed to write something truly dark after sending my other characters into their fluff era, I guess. So that story might not be for everyone, but maybe you will still give it a try once it's out (which could happen this coming Saturday (Friday on AO3)? Maybe?).

(Also thank you for your concern, pickles! <3 Please don't worry about sending too many asks, I always love reading your thoughts and comments and seeing your name pop up! Never stop/change, okay? <3)

I hope this cleared things up a bit. Thank you for reading, thank you for being here (I recently hit a little follower milestone, and while I know most of you prefer to stay in the shadows, I'd like to make sure you know how much I appreciate you all for giving this little blog a chance! Thank you!)

I will be back with more smut stories very soon! Take care everyone!

[tf-boi]

Ask and you shall receive . . . sorta. Technically still considering myself on hiatus but I wanted to do a quick story since I didn't want to get rusty.

For @m3ch4s7r1k3r~

This will be a Author X Reader story

It was a crowded hotel lobby but you noticed the me sitting in the corner of the lobby. Normally seeing me wearing unbuttoned dress shirts or in some suggestive pose (my editor's idea), today you are shocked to see me with a black baseball cap, with a light blue hoodie, and black joggers.

Building up the courage to walk up to me I noticed you when you when you were maybe a few feet from me. "Uhhh . . . hi?" I muttered, seeing a person approach me in my lazy outfit caught me off guard. I then I noticed the latest copy of my book, a series of TF stories, wrapped in your arms. "Ahh I see" I said with a smile, grabbing your book and signing it. "Thank you for your support . . . Raymond. Here you go! Thanks for reading!" You grab the book back, heart racing, but standing still. After an awkward moment, I speak up. "Would you . . . like to have a seat? I'm waiting on my boyfriend but he won't be here for a while. Would you like to keep me company?"

Nervously you sit down and introduce yourself.

"Nice to me you" I said with a smile on my face.

"Nice to meet you too! I'm a big fan! Your stories are so hot, where do you get the inspiration for them?"

I tilt my head to the side and place my finger on my cheek, trying to think of an answer. As I thought I take a look at you up and down. Examining every detail of you. Finally I spoke. "Well they are mostly based on true events haha".

"True events?" you said confused "Like you have people roleplaying objects?"

I place my hand over my mouth and chuckled "No as in I REALLY transform people." "But how is that possible?" You questioned.

"Well you see I can use magic. My specialty is transformation magic~" I say with a grin.

You look at my with disbelief, it was already hard to believe this thin twink was your favorite author, but now he is saying he is a wizard.

"Don't believe me?" I say leaning towards you.

"W-well its hard to believe? Magic isn't real?"

"Well there are only a handful of us left, and as long as we don't expose ourselves we tend to leave each other be."

"Then why are you telling me?" You say skeptically.

"Well I was just sizing you up just now. . . you look like my ideal subject for my next story. . . interested in being transformed?" I say with a sparkle in my eye, I run my finger down the side of your face.

You were skeptical at first, but eventually you somehow ended up in my hotel room.

"Glad you decided to join me~" I say looking pleased.

"Yeah sure. . .what are you transforming me into?"

"Well its a secret . . . just play along"

"S-sure . . ." you said hesitantly "You'll turn me back right? I mean I have a job and-"

"Don't worry too much! None of the people I transformed stayed transform since I normally use a reverse spell after I am done. . . though I do have some people who ask me to transform them on their free time too . . ." I said staring at my shoes. "Well here we go" I said, putting my index finger in my mouth, coating it with my saliva and pulling it out. I place it in front of you. "Say ahhhhhh"

You stare at the finger, thinking I'm nuts.

"I need some of my DNA in you for this to work. . . I would normally fuck you, but like I said I plan to meet up with my boyfriend later and you know~"

You think to yourself, worse case I have a part of him in me I guess. You opened your mouth and sucked on the finger. "MMmmm" You moaned as you realized how sweet my saliva was. Like the best tasting syrup. "Ahhh ahhhh" I moaned, enjoying you sucking on my finger. After a few moments more, I pull my finger out despite you resisting. "Well well you sure liked that more than I thought you would."

You nodded and suddenly you started feeling a weird sensation in your stomach, like a warm fuzzy feeling. You don't know what it is but you try to contain yourself. "Ahh . . its supposed to work now but you are resisting . . . gotta calm down a bit dear . . . " I said as I sit on your lap and started making out with you. I wrapped my arms around you and stick my tongue in you. We moan in unison as the warm feeling continues to build in your body. But your mind is slowly going blank, losing control with just me playing with your tongue with mine. Eventually you start to go numb and lose feeling in your arms and legs. They feel as if they were shrinking. Eventually you feel me getting on top of you, or that you are getting smaller. Your body heats up and you feel like blacking out as I remove my mouth from yours.

Moments later it gets hard for you to see, everything is dark. You cannot move, but you feel extremely aroused. You hear some rustling as I dig through your clothes. "Here you are" I say as I pick you up.

"Wow it worked!" I say with a proud grin "Oooh, I think I made you a bit bigger than I had planned . . ."

You grow confused, what did I transform you into?

I walk towards the mirror and you see your new form, a giant cock.

"N-no way thats me!" You thought to yourself, unable to talk. I had transformed you into a disembodied cock, a almost perfect replica of your own, except maybe twice or thrice the length and girth.

"You look pretty sexy now!" I said pleased with my work. You sense a bit of lust in my voice. "Well you were such a good kisser. . . maybe I will reward you . . ." I said opening my mouth wide, bigger than what you thought was possible as I started sucking you, the tip disappearing into my maw. "MMmmm MMMmmmm" I moaned, gripping my sheets of the bed. You feel an even hotter sensation as your feel your body grow. Not wanting to lose to your new cock body, I wrapped my arms around your ball sack and let your shaft get inside of me, your tip now going down my throat as I use my tongue and mouth to suck you off. You feel a warm sensation as you realize you have entered my stomach. You feel a knot growing in your new "throat" as I suck you off. You feel yourself salivating in the form of precum leak out of you into my belly. I moaned feeling it fill me up but I know the best was coming. I continue to suck you off and use both hands to stroke the parts of you out of my body. You feel yourself heat up and barely stay conscious, an insane wave of lust and ecstacy wash over you as you are pleasured by my mouth and hands.

You try as hard as you could to hold on, but you feel the knot in throat release, pumps and pumps of cum gushes out of your mouth (tip) of your dick body and into my stomach. "mmmmmmmmMMmmmmm" I moan as my belly fills up with your love juices. As your balls run dry, you feel your body shrink again and slip out of my mouth. I gasp for air as I caress you lovingly. "Well that was a lot of fun~ Glad you came with me now?" I giggled knowing you can't respond. I get up wobbly with a belly inflated with cum. I pat my stomach as I look pregnant now. "I think I got the inspiration to my new story now. Thanks a bunch." I snap my fingers "Reverse!" I shout, but nothing happens. "Hmmm . . . Reverse" I try again, and again, but nothing happens. "Uh oh . . ." I said closing my eyes. After staying silent as I scanned my body I opened my eyes. "Shoot . . . I should have noticed this, but I guess transforming you into a giant cock took most of my magic . . . I don't even have enough magic to use reverse.

You should be panicking but the thought of staying as a cock aroused you. Without me noticing you got hard again thinking about it.

"Its fine its fine, my boyfriend isn't gonna be back for another few hours. . .I'll just take a magic pill and I'll be charged up in an hour." I say as my phone ring, it was my boyfriend. I answered my phone "Hi babe, hows your meeting? uh huh . . . HUH?" I panicked "Your done early and about a block away . . . sure dear. Looking forward to seeing you soon!" I say as I hang up. "Oh crap, babe's gonna kill me . . . he said no more transforming people when he's not around to watch anymore!" I run around and grabbed your clothes, tossing it into my luggage. "Ok what do I do with you . . ." I say looking at your erect form. Too big for my bag, and my boyfriend has to examine every corner of a hotel room before he can relax, so I can't hide you. "Crap crap crap . . . " I thought as my time was running out. "ah . . . guess I have no choice. . ." I said as I pulled out a bottle of lube that I was saving for later. I squeeze some into my hand and use it to lather you up. You moaned in your mind as I thoroughly spread lube all over you for whats to come. After you are covered I opened my ass up and inserted the tip of your body into me. "ahh ahhh" I winced, not being used to being the one taking it. I slowly inserted you, your body throbbing in joy as you are being sucked into my ass. Eventually I get all of your shaft inside of me. On the outside, an imprint of your cock body can be seen. "Ahhh. . . " I said as the last of your cock goes in me. "Thank god for oversize hoodies. . ." I say as I put my hoodie back on. I put my pants on as well and realized this wouldn't work. Your balls made my ass look awkward. I hmphed and sighed. "Sorry love but . . . " I say as I place my hands on your sack. I push as much as I could and eventually your sack and the rest of you enter my ass. My asshole closes sealing you in. I feel you squirm in both joy and fear inside of me. "Ahh ahh you're gonna fuck up my insides if you keep doing that" I said moaning. "I'll just tell him I'm tired and when he's asleep I'll fix you!!!" Suddenly you stopped moving. I thought you calmed down but I felt a warm liquid fill me up again and trying to escape my ass. "Crap you came again?? Stopp!" I moaned as I clenched my ass to keep everything inside of me.

Moments later my boyfriend opened the door and gives me a hug. "Ray Ray I finished early to see you!" He said lovingly, he felt a warm sensation in my belly region. "What's this?" He said puzzled. "Ahh well you know. . . I thought you were gonna take a while longer so I had some fun with my magic. . ."

My boyfriend pouted "Without me?"

"Sorry babe sorry babe, We'll have fun tomorrow. I kinda went overboard and used up my magic for today." I faked a yawn "Actually I'm pretty tired, I think I'll call it a night early. . . "

"Uhhh no?" My boyfriend looked at me "Tonight's the Erotica Awards and you are attending remember?"

"Oh crap. . ." I thought. Tonight was the awards show, thats why we traveled a few cities over and that was why my boyfriend finished work early.

I snap my fingers and my dress shirt expands to be able to fit my new body. "Thats the last time I mess with inflation magic right?" I said with a nervous laugh.

"Oh you~ Hurry up we'll be late."

As I change and get out the door, I rub my belly again "Guess I gotta fix you later . . ." I thought "Well he's still cumming so maybe he'll be fine . . ."

[corishadowfang]

2025 Writing Goals

...Did I do one of these last year?? I...genuinely can't remember. But! I'm doing one this year--mostly to organize my own thoughts, haha, but I guess also to give people some updates, if anyone's interested in that?

But, uh, 2024 was...a year. The long and the short of it is: I am very burnt out. Most of that is due to my job, but other things have factored into it, too. (There were. So many animal emergencies this past year.) Because of that, I'm going to try to tailor my goals to be...a bit gentler. In theory.

As for the individual stories...

The Age of Fairytales (And Other Assorted Myths)

This is...probably officially going on hiatus, unfortunately. I don't particularly want it to, but I think it probably needs to. I've been struggling to write chapters a lot more than expected, and have been stressed about getting things out in a timely fashion, which is. Not particularly how I want to interact with fandom, and I don't want the story to suffer because of it. Some of this I think is due to the writing style (the myths specifically, which are different from my normal style), but most of it is from the aforementioned burnout. I don't think I was actually ready to have a regularly updated fic again, even if I thought I was (How was three months not enough time?? has been running circles around my head.), and probably should've stuck with my original plan of trying to write everything out, and then starting to post it.

That said, there's a reason it's going on hiatus, and isn't cancelled or anything, and it's because I still really like the idea. So for the moment, it might be going on the backburner, but hopefully I'll be able to bring it out and do more with it in the future.

(Also, like. Feel free to ask me about any lore stuff? Because I really, really want to talk about it, I'm just currently finding it difficult to put it into story format.

...I suppose I could also just make a lot of general worldbuilding posts in the meantime, too, which would be. Significantly easier. ...I'll have to see on that one.)

On My Heart

I really want to get back to working on this one; it's probably going to be my main "traditional" story. That said, I don't have a set goal for this; basically, I just want to make "decent progress" on it, haha. I'm going to try and take it easy and hopefully get at least some content that I'm happy with! (The beginning I already have, at least, feels pretty solid; now I just have to build onto that.)

One-Shots

I have four one-shots that have been sitting half-completed in my documents that I'd really like to finish at some point, which are:

coda: A Fallen Stars one-shot, covering the first year after the end of the story.

Children of Ozymandias: An AU where the Union Leaders (plus Player and Elrena) all remain together after the fall of Daybreak Town, examined through the eyes of people who don't have much relation to Keyblade wielders.

Touch of Midas: Hoder character study.

Ghosts of All We've Known: Ven-centric story looking at his connection to Scala, his buried memories of Daybreak Town, and his complicated thoughts about Eraqus and Xehanort and their past in Scala.

Of these, "Ghosts of All We've Known" is the one I most want to complete; I really like both the idea and what I've written so far, so hopefully I'll be able to finish that one this year, at least. "coda" also has a pretty good chance of being completed, just because, like...that's what I tend to work on when I'm feeling stressed, haha. So we'll see which of those two gets finished first!

(I would like to finish the other two sometime, as well, but...we'll stick with easy goals for now, and see how I'm feeling once those are done.)

And, uh...those are basically my plans for this year! I'm going to try very hard to just...kind of take things a bit easier. Keyword: try.

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

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⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

[toyalligatorstatue]

I kinda wanted to throw a small update out there. This is my new blog, I was aleatoryalarmalligator and so much has happened to me, I’ve been at least six or seven different people since I was a frequenter of this site. I moved to Portland and experienced a lot. I can say that a lot of it was good but a lot of it wasn’t fun at all. And the past I was running from did indeed find its way to me eventually. And the friends and dreams and responsibilities I was juggling all fell to the floor eventually. I’ve lived and loved and lost, been at the top and the bottom. Experienced decrepit corners of the city and my own heart and found bliss end almost boundless senses of beauty here as well. And at this point in my life I’m stopping again, looking back over the years and some of it really completely shocked me. Other elements could be anyone’s guess.

Anyways, I had to take a hiatus from working due to injuries and the only people who talk to me anymore is Andy, whom is my best friend and roommate. It’s more than a friendship but less than a relationship. It’s not sexual but it’s not something that couldn’t happen if I let it. I don’t let it because he’s a pretty bad alcoholic and I don’t want to lose anymore to alcoholic boyfriends. Our boundaries are already pretty blurry.

Before I really got to know him, I let the universe almost take over for me. I let myself fall backwards, having nothing to hold on to or validate my existence and I fell right into Andy, who was also falling apart and somehow we fell together. Within a week and a half we loved each other and I moved in. It’s a cocoon that we share. I find it stifling but I’m not ready to take on the world quite yet.

I will say, that Andy has given me more acceptance and unconditional love than anyone I’ve ever met so far. He is proud to be my friend. He doesn’t hide his feelings. And he is my home and I’m his home. I don’t know what the future holds but the world got pretty scary and cold on me a few years ago. Andy had me move in and it’s been just us. This life isn’t enough for me. But I can’t go back to working in restaurants.

My sister calls. She lives across town. I see her about once a week. Goes to school, has love life issues that consume her, not unlike where I was at her age. She’s learning her own lessons. My father calls. He’s in his seventies now and he doesn’t quite understand the world. Obviously we have our history and difficulties but as my parents get older I cherish my time with them more than I did when I was younger and they were younger.

I had a cat but he died a few weeks ago. He got a bladder blockage and by the time he exhibited signs he was basically dying. I am unemployed and it broke me just to get money to put Hank down. Most the people from my past have blocked me or excommunicated me. It’s mostly a bunch of bullshit. It’s not that I am not without my flaws or didn’t disappoint people. But it’s a lot of insecure leveraging and miserable people who want to blame me for stuff. I’m not as willing as I once was to take a back seat to other people. I know my worth. Sometimes it gets to me, being excommunicated. I’m not even left with much reason for any of it. It’s hard to make peace with it or come to terms with it.

My relationship with Andy isn’t one where certain things come up. He’s an alcoholic who mismanages his time and money and doesn’t tend to withhold his opinions when he’s has a few. He needs help and doesn’t get enough sleep. It’s a lot of pressure for me. But like I said. He gives of himself all he can and accepts and adores me and in a world that sometimes feels like it’s out for blood, I can’t afford to lose him.

But yeah, I’m pretty lonely and thus I’m finding myself in a similar headspace that I was in my last few years of living in Idaho where and when I wrote a lot. I have back and leg issues and I’ve overworked myself losing weight. I had an eating disorder for a few years. I’m burned out in some ways.

I’m thirty five now and I feel a separation from people who were my age when I first moved here. The first few years of being in my thirties were rough. Now that I’m half through i couldn’t be paid to be younger again, I don’t care how much better my body or face was. I feel more myself than I’ve been since I was a small child. I’m retreating out of everything.

It’s relieving, but I’m pretty lonely. I feel a sick liminal loneliness each night, when the lights feel too dim. Days turn to weeks. I do things mostly by myself. I listen to a lot of music and playlists. I’m dreaming and disappearing into myself. I’m going to do what I can to go to school, this time I’m going for something in the field of healthcare to be safe. I have Andy but even if I didn’t I have lost a lot of interest in love. At least right now. I was pretty badly used and physically, sexually and emotionally abused in my last relationship. I’m scared to make friends or take on too much.

Anyway, I’m happy to be back. I’ll try to do more writing. It’s good for me.

[c0smiccom3t]

Dimension Dyfenders Mini-newsletter blog - OCTOBER EDITION!

Hello, everyone!! Welcome back to a new D.D newsletter blog post! This time, like ive said ever since a month ago, it's not a big one, but it's very exciting indeed! So, i guess you can call this a "mini"-newsletter post. Now without further ado... Let's hop 2 it!

BIG NEWS REGARDING POCKET ADVENTURES!!

You guys still remember pocket adventures, do you? If so, remember the part where i said its first minisode's script was half-way done? Well... THIS JUST IN! I'm happy to announce that the script is OFFICIALLY FINISHED! Now, all that I have left for minisode 1 at this rate is finishing up all of its pages! And speaking of pages, Here are some panels from the upcoming pages from the comic, possibly to be finished in April, and planned to be released in May 2025 (the series' anniversary month)!

And that's not all! A script for a minisode of pocket adventures also finished production a while ago. (It's not minisode 2.) But hey, i'm saving that for another time, anyway. It's way too soon, and summer has already passed, so... Maybe next time, waves will be easier to catch. Who knows?🌊🏄‍♂️🏖️

What's that you're saying?

"Comet, that's great and all that Pocket Adventures minisode 1 is coming along great! But what about Toonies?"

Ohhh Am I GLAD you asked!

Lucky for you all, I have more toonies comics planned right inside my noggin. So, once i can think up of any good ideas, they will be released for you all to enjoy! As for the new fans however... Since there are some people (esp on Bluesky) who are NUTS abt Indie animation and comics and all that and want to know about D.D's world, premise, cast, etc... I'm happy to announce that RE-INTRODUCTION COMICS ARE IN THE PLANS! they may not be in development, yet. But I can assure you, new fans who discover this series will get their cake! OH YEAH! I forgot to mention another thing... Sometimes in toonies and in the reintro comics, there will be chibi versions of the characters getting into shenanigans! Here's what one of our characters will look like as a chibi, courtesy of the y2k artstyle and Knockout himself.

Look at this, isn't he adorable?? Just think of what the other characters will look like! the possibilities are endless!

I dont know when those comics will be made and uploaded. But trust me, wether it's the re-intro comics, toonies or Pocket Adventures, you're sure in for a treat! Okay... I'm sure there isn't anything else i wanna say, is there...? Oh yeah! Almost forgot!

So... About the specials.

Yes, I mean the Halloween special AND the supposed to be 3rd anniversary special. As much as it pains me to say it, the latter is NO LONGER an anniversary special due to time constraints and IRL stuff getting in the way. Instead, it will be a regular special! (It's still a special though!) It will be rewritten to fit less into the anniversary type and instead it will be made about something thats the same (the gala) but just 30% different which i cannot say because i put an NDA on myself and i can't get it out because if i try to his highness will kill me.

As for the good news, I can say that there's another special in the back of my mind. Actually, its script has been in development for a while now! Just give it a few februarys and it'll happen. However, i'm not telling what it is, but I'm positive that it'll leave you... Love-struck.👑💕

Speaking of plans and whatnot, I'll have to reveal that there isn't gonna be much content in 2025 after m01, mostly because i'll be working on the minisodes and won't release them until theyre finished and because me and my mom have been thinking of moving back to italy next year once im done with art school. So, that means D.D might go on yet ANOTHER hiatus, unfortunately. HOWEVER, I have BIG plans for 2026! Plans that i can't go much into detail (once again NDA by myself). But i can definitely tell you all, that's its gonna be amazing! No, it's not animated (yet.) but it's def worth waiting for!

And for any "fansies" reading this. Trust me, he's NOT leaving anytime soon, and you know it!

As for other stuff before i close this off. There will be a thread on my bluesky about introducing you all to Dimension Dyfenders as a whole! (once i finish up with concept art + ref sheets and new renders im currently working on.) So, be sure to look out 4 it!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! I am so excited to show off what this series will get into next as yours truly tries to carry it on their back while its 2 team members are away as much as they can! And trust me, I'll be sure to NOT disappoint you all. And thats a promise.

once again, thank you for reading and thank you all for your support! I still will be on the lookout for any fanart i see about the series! Remember, stuff like that and criticism are very appreciated here!! Have a riftastic day/night!!

[friendlyloner]

Finished the cursed Autobot and the tiny cat ornament, but now they're sitting on my desk waiting for me to wash and iron them along with a bunch of other finishes that have been waiting for their final touches. I'm hoping to do a big finish round up for the year over my holiday hiatus but as of today work is already trying to encroach on my 2 weeks and like the millennial with a new mortgage I am, I will take the work over unpaid vacation.

It's been a quietish lately, recovery from my extraction is going slower than I'd hoped and I spent the weekend not doing any of the Christmas type shit I'd meant to and mostly sat on the couch and stitched. Got a bug up my ass to try and start and finish the small piece on dark blue that's going to be a baby elephant asleep on the moon. My cousin and her husband are coming in from Alberta for Christmas and she's in the baby way, a big deal for her because her previous pregnancy was ectopic and fairly traumatic. Elephants were her favorite growing up so I decided to try and whip this out to give in person since who knows when the Canada Post strike will end. I would say I'm being driven by hubris but as you can see the Xbox remote for my husband is nearly finished and it seems like it's fairly doable.

Work has decided to send me out to our satellite location to take over for the guy on our team out there who's bailing to go back to our sister show when it starts up again in the new year. It's probably going to be longer days, definitely a longer commute home, but comes with a significant raise. Plus it's only for 6 weeks before we're done for the season. Going to try and shoehorn a bunch of meal prep in over my break so I can have easy food to fall back on.

Christmas is weird when you're a childless atheist. I wanna get into that more but I also really need to go to the bathroom and this post is already pretty long. Next time I guess.

I am kinda liking doing this journaling thing with the framework of stitching updates. I like that it's mostly just chatting into the void. It'll be neat to have something to look back on and I've never been able to just journal for the sake of journaling and stick to it.

All of the below handles are just ripped from Instagram because I am lazy

The Xbox remote is by @theneedleandfloss

The Squirrel butt is from @dailycrossstitch

The yellow on dark blue is going to be a sleepy elephant on the moon and it's by @xstitchbyta

The yellow on light blue is a stabby duck of mysterious origin I had in my "free shit" pattern folder

[revolvius]

Is it true that you leave Undertale fandom permanent ?

Alright- it's been delayed for long enough so here's my official statement.

I'm uncertain of what position I was in with the fandom before this, but after the 8th-anniversary collab, I decided that it was time for me to move on to other things.

I'm currently on an indefinite hiatus with developing and working on UnderWAR, but I'm certain SagaVerse is now canceled, so yeah.

Why? Because I just find other things that interest me, that's it really. I've been in the fandom since 2017 and started working on UTMV content in 2020, I feel like that's long enough time for me to move on to other things. UnderTale is 8 years old by this point, I'm more interested in DeltaRune nowadays, but I'm not going to delve into that just yet.

Oh, and also because after each day passed, more and more people from the fandom get exposed for really shitty behavior and everyone's always at each other's throats. Factions and sides were made, and nothing was fun anymore without being criticized by other people. I've experienced this with my own circle and even seen how everyday the fandom is on a slippery slope toward just being the worst. Don't say you're not part of the problem, because that's what people who do that kind of thing say. And if you're truly just wanna have fun, I mean, good luck. I honestly hope you do find a way to find peace in this fandom.

So to summarize, UnderWAR is on hiatus, SagaVerse is canceled, and I'm mostly done with the fandom and moving on. Will I ever come back? Who knows. UnderWAR is still there, but don't get your hopes up.

So if you want to leave because I don't make UTMV content anymore then be my guess, I mostly make Rain World content nowadays anyway. But if you wanna stay because of my art, then feel free to stay. And be prepared for a lot of Rain World- as if that's not the only thing I reblog from my other blog nowadays lol.

Oh yeah, if you wanna support me in my Rain World stuff be sure to follow @rw-repurposed which is my Rain World AU-specific blog. Really appreciate it if you did, but it's up to you guys.

Welp, that's all from me, adios~