#((one can't blame them for assuming the worst of her; but i can still see them having a lot of regret))

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

Funny...he could swear he'd never met this woman a day in her life, and yet, when she said her name aloud, there was something about it that rang a distant bell in his head, though he couldn't say why...had he maybe read it somewhere, heard it somewhere?

Still, he set aside this feeling of deja vu to answer with a small smile, "Me? Oh, no, I'm a New Orleans native; born and raised, just like my ma!"

Born here, live here, will probably die here, he thought to himself wryly-he'd seldom left the city, let alone the state, and even then was something of a homebody. Unlike his old man, he couldn't exactly be described as a social butterfly, mostly content to keep to himself as he went about his day-sure, he went out; he went grocery shopping, went to the movies, spent his weekends trying to relax before the work week resumed, but one wouldn't catch him at any dance clubs or proverbial party centrals in town, that was for sure.

"Wh-What about you, Miss de Clair?" he asked, half-wondering he should call her "Emily", just as she called hm "Randall", as if they knew each other-maybe she knew something he didn't? "I, uh, I-I don't think I've ever seen you around before either-are you new in town?"

[funnycreatortimetravel]

Whenever I rewatch the Madoka Magica episodes + the two recap movies, I always feel that the sentiment "Homura did nothing wrong," shines through the most here and less so Rebellion (I'll get into this later) even though ironically, the Rebellion movie is where that infamous saying was coined.

-Homura cannot DO any wrong when everything sort of already goes wrong no matter if she intervenes or not. Mami dies whether or not Homura intervenes (she goes crazy when she finds out that magical girls are all destined to turn into witches and then goes on a murder-suicide rampage, she's killed by Walpurgis, she gets caught off guard, etc.) All of these deaths happened on Mami's accord and not Homura's, so of course there's no wrongdoing to be had.

-Even if you argue that Homura could've been nicer to her, Mami automatically assumed that Homura had the worst intentions for Madoka and the others, so she never really gave her a chance even WHEN Homura went through the effort of finding a grief seed solely to befriend Mami (which Homura does in most timelines FYI.) The moment Homura isn't Mami's sweet little junior student anymore, Mami is automatically on defense and even calls her a loser just because she doesn't want Madoka to make a contract, and Mami just assumes that it's because Homura doesn't want competition (which makes no sense because Homura offered her a grief seed.)

-Mami does the same thing to Kyoko in the Different Story Manga; Once Kyoko's parents died and she became distraught, she didn't want to follow Mami's ideals anymore and this leads them into getting into a physical altercation (sound familiar?)

-Mami has never been a person you can just causally talk things through to. If she believes you don't share the same ideals on things, she can and will fight you. She doesn't fight Sayaka or Madoka because those two largely agree with her on everything, but Kyoko and Homura? They're free game if they so much as look at her sideways.

-Mami also says that making a wish should be something you seriously think about and not just dive in willy nilly, but then turns around and tells Madoka that she should wish for a cake if she still hasn't figured it out all because Mami doesn't want to be alone.

-I'm going to give Mami the benefit of the doubt and assume she wasn't being serious, but she knows how impressionable Madoka is and regardless of how serious or not she is, she's still fine with Madoka making a wish and becoming a magical girl just so she won't be lonely anymore.

-Homura tries her damn hardest to befriend Mami (she offers her a grief seed as I mentioned earlier, she listens when Mami tells her to go away without a fuss, and she warns Mami of the witch Charlotte only to be ignored and tied up) and the only thing she gets in return is Mami's unwarranted hostility. And once Homura is proven right and Mami is beheaded in front of Madoka and Sayaka, causing an insurmountable amount of trauma to them, she still quietly grieves for her even when all Mami did was assume the worst with no evidence.

-I don't necessarily blame Mami for assuming that Homura didn't have the best intentions since she's a veteran and I'm certain has had other negative run-ins with magical girls, but it's not like Homura even provided enough evidence that she would be like them. Mami was just being territorial due to force of habit (she's fine with other magical girls so long as they stay her juniors as evident in Rebellion when the moment Homura "turns different," she's highly suspicious and is ready to go guns blazing.) She doesn't even give Homura a chance to explain herself in either the show or the movie and that's one of her biggest flaws; she's so perfectionist that she can't even see what's in front of her sometimes.

-Despite this, Homura still values her as her old mentor and is hurt when the person who saved her all those timelines ago calls her a loser to her face. She even says that Mami has the softest heart of all and wishes she could forget how she trampled over her and other's feelings, (even though when you look back, Mami was the one who hurt her feelings rather than the other way around.)

And yet she still says this...

-"And it hurt me..." Homura admitting that shows just how much she cares. The fact that she's able to admit that it wasn't what Mami said that hurt her, but the fact that shattering Mami's optimistic viewpoint with the reality of the magical girl system was what hurt.

-Homura knows about Mami's tragic backstory with her parents and also knows that Mami, "doesn't have any other family to speak of," which shows she's been very close to Mami at one point, even seeing her vulnerable side just like Madoka did when Mami had that breakdown shortly before she died to Charlotte.

-She also "envies Mami" because Madoka states that she'll remember her even after she dies. Homura is obviously envying Mami because Madoka will forever see Mami in a good light in death while Madoka is afraid of her, but she could also just be envying Mami because, well, Mami died and left Madoka feeling attached to her while Homura thought she was going to die without ever being able to be close to Madoka as she once was. Context clues people, context clues.

-If you look at the different story manga, which I and many others consider canon, Homura clearly still has PTSD from Mami's murder-suicide attempt, which is the main reason why she tries to be gentle with her and listen to her when she's ordering Homura around.

-And she also notes that Mami never "held her hand," like that. Regardless of what Homura thinks, she clearly still wants or wanted that intimacy with Mami. She still saw her as an older sister figure and I know it crushed her heart when Mami said something so cruel to her.

-She also declines when Mami believes that Homura is going to kill her, even though her soul gem is stained and she technically is on her way to becoming a witch. Instead, Homura imparts some words to her.

-In the case of Sayaka...Whooo boy, it's like ten times worse than Mami. Sayaka is so caught up in her ideals that she hates anything too wild and selfish, but also weak and passive. She craps on Kyoko for being immoral and then also craps on Madoka AND Homura for not doing enough (she says that Madoka has a lot of potential but doesn't do anything with it and says Homura is too unskilled to fight effectively.) She views herself, or at least tries to, as the ultimate magical girl of justice who's moral, selfless, and most of all, strong. She doesn't view Homura, at least the one in the past timelines, as someone strong enough to be a proper magical girl.

-Sayaka holds everyone to the standard of Mami Tomoe, someone who's graceful, strong, and selfless, but she never gets the chance to realize that that version of Mami Tomoe isn't the real one and the standard she holds herself and others don't exist, which is why in every single timeline, she ALWAYS ends up witching out. It's also why in every timeline, she's antagonistic to Homura no matter if it was her timid self or the one hardened by trauma.

-She blames Homura in one timeline for attempting to warn them about Kyubey, accusing her of trying to split the group up, but then in Magia Record, when Homura DOESN'T tell them about Kyubey because she's seen how pointless it is, Sayaka gets on her case for not telling them sooner and accuses her of not telling because Homura "finds it funny." She literally can't win, no matter how quiet and out of the way she is.

-And it doesn't get better once Homura becomes "stronger" (or at the least the facade of becoming it) Sayaka just thinks that she's one of those magical girls who kills only for herself (and while Sayaka's not ALL the way wrong as she will kill solely for Madoka, she also doesn't understand that the system is designed to be like that and that's the fault of Kyubey and not Homura.)

-We're never actually shown Homura saving civilians, but we also don't see her sit idly by and let them get hurt either. Homura's viewpoint is that magical girls aren't morally obligated to be heroes and she's right; magical girls are cattle being harvested and the "good" they do is only delaying the inevitable once they witch out. No matter how noble and pure Sayaka was or wanted to be, she was eventually going to witch out and harm others, even if she wanted to save people.

-The nature of magical girls is equivalent exchange; whatever "good" is done, an equal amount of or even more bad is sure to come of it. Sayaka was going to keep killing innocent civilians as a witch until someone put her out of her misery, and that was what Homura was going to do. Sayaka doomed herself the moment she made a contract with Kyubey, and more importantly, she doomed innocent civilians, and she doomed her friends.

-Sayaka's witching out leads Mami to go crazy and attempt to kill everyone, Madoka making a contract in several timelines to save Sayaka from witching out (she does so in the Different Story Manga and Sayaka still ends up hurt) and Kyoko dying either from suicide during her confrontation with Octavia or dying from the wounds she sustains from the battle. Not to mention Sayaka witching out breaks Madoka's psyche, which is what Homura is trying to avoid.

-It would be one thing if Sayaka just died on her own accord, but she always brings others with her down her descent into despair, whether it's by killing civilians as a witch or being mean to Madoka and making her feel as though Sayaka's witching out was partly her fault.

-That's why Homura was in the right to "put her down" essentially, and even though she said she would, she couldn't bring herself to because somewhere deep down, she still cared for Sayaka. She apologizes for blowing up Sayaka in one of the first few timelines when she witches out and she blames herself for Sayaka making a contract in the TV series timeline, even saying that she should've protected Sayaka as much as Madoka even though Sayaka has never been anything BUT mean to her in the beginning. She takes responsibility for the girls' downfall even though it was inevitable.

-Another thing is her kinship with Kyoko. Because Kyoko and Homura both grew up in religious homes (Homura with catholic school and obliviously Kyoko's father being a preacher) they have the closest views on what it means to be magical girls. Note how I didn't say similar, but closest. Homura and Kyoko's wishes were for someone else, and as a result, they firmly believe that their wishes are for the sake of those people and won't pretend to be heroes or the like. The only difference is that Kyoko is much wilder and rougher because her wish directly led to the murder-suicide of her family (cough cough, like a big sister figure that killed her OTHER found family.)

-It's also the reason why Homura and Kyoko became so close in Rebellion. Kyoko was the only magical girl, apart from Madoka and even SHE sometimes didn't trust Homura, to kill Walpurgis. Kyoko agrees to fight with Homura and even though she is purely doing this for her benefit, she at least gives Homura a CHANCE and hears her out, even offering her a pocky stick. She was willing to team up with her and was also the first person that Homura felt comfortable talking to in Rebellion when she felt that something was up.

(I'll go into further specifics in another post since I ran out of image/video usage. Damn this app 😭.)

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

The hidden story behind these few seconds.

(Originally, this post was going to be about "Meet the Parents Part 3," But I feel that since I was focusing so much in Jeff and Rio's reaction, so I decided to make a little post about her.)

I had been looking at this and thinking about it a lot, and hearing the dialogue and reflecting about the story. This moment means A LOT.

I see a lot of videos about Spider-verse, which I imagine makes sense considering how much I love this movie.

And in videos, in tiktoks and online as well, I had seen a lot of people been confused as to why Gwen tried to talk to Miles's parents instead of dipping out.

And you know what? I think the answer is in these few seconds, and what she does after.

Let's give context at this scene.

Gwen had realized that the Spider-society is bullshit, and not just because the system is corrupt, but also that canon can be defied, which means she can also help Miles defy canon if necessary. She knows she owes him that much, and she wants to make it up to him.

So she goes to 1610, wanting to talk to him to tell him the news, probably apologize and say that she is on his side.

Except, that there is no one.

But that's not the only thing, she also listens to his parents talk about the situation.

She hears them talk about Rio trusting Miles, and being her idea to let him go (something Gwen of course didn't know.) Jeff may be angry, but you can hear that he is scared.

But funnily enough, what else he says?

Look, is Jeff over his head and thinking the worst of Gwen? Yeah, and I will talk about it on the other post.

However, let's see this from Gwen's perspective.

Because she went to see Miles, she didn't look after the Spot, which went to Pavitr's dimension, and Miles followed her, then the joke villain became extremely powerful and threatened Miles. Now Miles is in who knows where, with Miguel and Spot hunting him down and his family.

Now, do I blame Gwen? No, she couldn't have predicted this, and she is a teen that is hurting and afraid. While I think she needs to apologize to Miles, I can't be mad at her (especially when she is doing all of this to MAKE IT UP TO HIM!)

But do I think the girl who couldn't had known debris was going to fall on top of the lizard, and that would be enough to make them human (because Gwen didn't know this was a human mind you,) and still feels like she failed him; would feel this is her fault?

Oh what do you think?

And let me tell you, NONE of this is helping.

Gwen knows that Miles has a crush on her. She has seen the drawings, how he acts around her, what other people say. And now his mom, who saw them together for just a few minutes, can tell that Miles was shining around her.

That has to be a gut punch.

She knows Miles did what he did to help her, as well as because he is amazing. And she wants to be with him obviously, even if she before felt she couldn't.

And to top it all of, she is being confronted with the fact that Miles was right about his parents.

Let's remember that while Rio and Jeff assumed the worst of Gwen, she did something similar.

So she is confronted with the fact that Miles is in the right about trying to save his dad, and that his parents are probably worth telling the secret (not to mention that now she knows there was still hope with her dad), and that if she hasn't interfered, none of this would had happened.

And she says so herself.

And this, is why she is doing it.

Remember how I mentioned earlier about people tho didn't understand why Gwen did this? This is why.

She feels guilty, she feels horrible that she put Miles in this mess, and that Miles's parents are feeling this torn about this ordeal.

Sure, you could argue it may be better to not mention anything to his parents, to dip out and find a way to fix this mess before they know.

But I think she feels she owes Miles and his parents this much; she knows how much Miles loves his parents, and would probably appreciate a head-ups to them if it is necessary.

You know how I mention this was the scene where Gwen probably realized how right was Miles about his parents, and probably gained a new appreciation for them? I wonder if we would have the inverse scenario next movie.

Of Miles's parents realizing Gwen means well and adores their son, and would do the impossible and more for him.

If you like my work, please share and support me in ko-fi if you can, if not, please share this post!

[badaziraphaletakes]

I have some questions

Hi... Aziraphale had no way of going to hell in search of Crowley??????

Oh wait that's not a question, that's a statement. Lol nvmind.

And how would Azi even get him back out? Stop blaming her for what the heaven/hell apparatus is doing to Crowley and to her. (Y'know what, I'm gonna be referring to Azi as "she/her" in this post, because we all deserve more of that. So deal with it.) Do you think she hasn't been racking her brains trying to think of a way to save Crowley ever since the Fall, and even before that?

Also - If Aziraphale went to hell and got stuck there, she'd probably be forced to torture people and that's not cool. (She probably wouldn't get a job on earth like Crowley.) Whereas there is no evidence whatsoever that Aziraphale has to actively do harm as part of her current role on earth. There are very good reasons Crowley doesn't want her to go to hell / become a demon / whatever. He doesn't want Aziraphale to suffer the same moral injury that he has.

Also also - Aziraphale mouths "Crowley" instead of screaming it because she knows it'll only get them both in more trouble if heaven/hell finds out they have an acquaintanceship, let alone that they care about each other. As an ab*se survivor, it's one of the most painful moments in the series for me, seeing Aziraphale distraught and having to hide it.

Azi mouthing "Crowley" while frantically trying to keep a straight face is the equivalent of Charles immediately trying to run after Edwin. It's arguably even more loving, I'd say. Aziraphale loves Crowley so much that she saw her worst nightmare come true (or rather, didn't see it? you know what I mean lol) and still managed to keep her "We don't know each other" mask more or less intact. Utterly devastating. This was the ultimate test of her love for Crowley, and she passed it.

*** Side note: If Aziraphale behaved the way fans want to demand she behave, hell would have killed Crowley so many times already lmao. And then of course the fans would be blaming her for that instead. << Babygirl can't win. She's damned (ha) if she does and damned if she doesn't. ***

You can see the horror and terror and devastation in her eyes.

Here's a really good post about it:

But even if we didn't have that glimpse of her face at that moment... FUCK thinking Aziraphale wasn't worried about Crowley then. There is literally NO reason to assume she wasn't upset about seeing him dragged to hell to presumably be killed. (And yes, Azi knew hell was ab*sive and violent to Crowley, even back then. I'd argue she's known since NLT Uz. After all, she knows Crowley didn't "kill" the goats and the kids because he wanted to. She knows it was because hell made him do it.)

Also also also: She literally did go to hell to save Crowley, later on?

And wtf is wrong with what she wrote in her diary? "That was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time" is (so far as we know) a factual statement. She's writing about an upsetting experience. Journaling is a healthy coping technique. But apparently that's bad now lmao. (Not to mention there were so many things about that diary entry that were so blatantly weird that it's clear we can't take anything about Aziraphale's journals at face value anyway. But I guess we're just ignoring that.)

OH AND ONE MORE THING! That's "husband" or "wife" or "spouse" to you, not "friend"!

[stop-talking]

How do you think jhutch characters would handle a baby?

I'm not quite sure if you're asking "what would they do if you handed them a baby" or "what would they do if you told them you're pregnant" but I'm gonna assume you meant the latter. (feel free to send another request if I got it wrong)

Ranking Jhutch characters from worst to best fathers:

Billy

☆ Would play dumb when you hand him the pregnancy test.

☆ "What's this? Oh, you're pregnant? Can't be mine. My pull-out game is too strong." (literally has NO pull-out game, refuses to use condoms because he "can't feel" with them on)

☆ Basically ghosts you until the paternity test proves it's his. Then he actually ghosts you.

☆ Drops off the face of the fucking Earth for years. Doesn't pay a dime in child support.

☆ Maybe he comes back like 3 years later drunk and demanding to see "his" kid idk. Literally the worst.

Derek

☆ Honestly I headcannon he had a vasectomy at like 24-25.

☆ His mom hit him up once she heard about his prostitute scandals and chewed him out. Gave him "the talk" even though he's a grown ass man... finally got him to get snipped when she brought up the possibility of paying income-based child support for 18 years.

☆ Assuming he doesn't have one, though...

☆ He'd initially be mad and blame you. "I thought you were on the pill!!"

☆ Then he'd be like "Is it too late to... you know... get rid of it?" (and kind of dance around the subject because he's too much of a wimp to just say the word abortion)

☆ Wallace and his mom would both force him to get his shit together and apologize. Eventually he'd come to terms with the fact he's gonna be a dad.

☆ He'd be the kind of bastard to throw an over-the-top gender reveal party. The kind that burns down half of California or pollutes a major water channel.

☆ I think he'd be a really good girl dad. He'd let her paint his nails and stuff. Spoil her. <3

☆ He would treat a son completely differently. Teach him to "be a man" or whatever when he's still learning to walk. Force him into random ass sports.

☆ He'd have them mostly taken care of by a nanny. That's probably how he was raised, anyways. Derek Danforth is NOT changing a diaper.

Futturman

☆ Whether we're talking pre-show or post-show, he'd freak the fuck out if you handed him a positive pregnancy test. I'm talking full-on pass out.

☆ Pre-show Josh would be like "Babe we can NOT afford a baby I literally live at home with my parents and work as a janitor."

☆ His parents would be so crazy supportive though. They've been hinting that they want grandkids for YEARS.

☆ They literally clear out a room IMMIDEATELY after hearing the news and offer it to you to use as a nursery.

☆ His mom buys you more baby clothes than you could possibly need. His dad builds a crib from scratch.

☆ Overall Josh is stressed asf but he does his best to be there for you, and his parents are OVERWHELMIGLY supportive.

☆ Post-show Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have that support. But he's survived unspeakable horrors across multiple dimensions, how hard could a baby be?

☆ Extremely hard, apparently. One day he just loses it and makes a huge decision without asking you.

☆ "Josh WTF happened to our savings??"

☆ "TRUST ME BABE we need to invest in Apple!!"

☆ You're pissed but it pays off in a few years and you're both able to live comfortably.

☆ Then in 2015-ish he did the same thing again, pouring all your savings into bitcoin. This time you SWEAR you're going to leave him, but it all pays out in the end. He gets your kid through college with that money.

☆ Overall he's a really good father, too. He had great parents, and even if he's not experienced with kids, he's naturally a very caring and attentive person.

Mike

☆ Cries when he sees the pregnancy test. He's not even sure if it's happy or sad tears.

☆ Gets sick to his stomach overthinking about how he's going to be a terrible father. His dad walked out on him, so he has literally no idea how to act.

☆ Abby, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted. She's always wanted a "little sister". Mike has to remind her that technically it's her niece. Or nephew. There's no guarantee on the gender yet.

☆ Eventually he comes to terms with it all. He's taken care of Abby for ten years, he isn't completely clueless.

☆ Takes you to all of your Dr.'s appointments, checkups, etc. Holds your hand. Makes all of your weird pregnancy cravings and doesn't judge.

☆ After the birth, he lets you rest. Nearly works himself to death trying to take care of the baby all on his own because he wants you to recover.

☆ I'm talking getting up bleary-eyed at 2am every night to microwave some formula and feed the baby. After working a 10 hour shift.

☆ Pulls the "I have a baby on the way" card at work in an attempt to get a raise. It works, thankfully. (In the novel version of the movie; it says he gets a job as a contractor at the end. So hopefully he can afford a kid...)

----------♡----------

[Remember: these are just MY headcannons. If you think differently that's fine. I didn't include Clapton because he's literally in highschool... and we all know Peeta is an amazing father.]

[shimmershy]

There's Only One Thing Left to Say, This Time (Undertale Fanfic)

New fanfic time! When I started writing this, I got the idea mostly because 1. I've been having trouble "moving on" from things in my own life recently and wanted to try processing it through fic and 2. it was the end of the school year for me and I had been saying a lot of goodbyes, so it felt thematically relevant. I wrote almost the entire thing impulsively at like three am a couple weeks ago and really impressed myself lol.

Chara Week Day 7: Free (I know it's over, but shhhh it still counts)

Summary:

You're having trouble saying goodbye, but the thing is that you don't have to! If you keep Resetting just before it's all over, you'll never have to be by yourself again. Right? You haven't known them long, and maybe they weren't super nice at the start, but they were there for you every step of the way. They listened to you and helped you when no one else would. You can't just let them disappear… You can't. ...But you can't keep doing this forever, Frisk. You have to let me go.

Characters: Chara and Frisk

Word count: 4,763 words

(Ao3 link in reblog!)

There's only one thing left to say this time,

I hope you're fine, goodbye.

– “Goodbye” by The Altogether

It isn’t until the third True Reset that I realize what this is all about, and when I do, I feel silly for not realizing it before.

I can still feel the way the bitterness worked its way under my skin the first time you brought everyone back. Which, is actually quite impressive on your part! Seeing as I don’t have skin anymore. I suppose it worked its way under your skin, then, because you wouldn’t stop apologizing to me in your head as you made your way through the Ruins. I should have been the one apologizing to you, Frisk. It’s no business of mine what you do with your own life, and you have no business feeling my emotions for me. This connection we have can be troubling, at times.

Still, it felt like a betrayal, and you offered me no explanation, so I could not understand.

I understood a little better when you decided to stay with Toriel for a while. Despite my obvious frustration and impatience, you sat and listened to her snail facts. You let her show you that bug-hunting spot she mentioned, and you spent time helping her run errands and letting her teach you how to cook. You even got to the point where she started giving you classes, as if you planned on staying. I assumed it was sentimentality, then. Perhaps there was something about the Underground that you didn’t want to leave behind. Maybe you weren’t ready to go back to living on the surface just yet. It’s not as if I could blame you for that one.

What I didn’t notice (and what I am noticing now), was how much attention you were giving me. And well, it’s not that I didn’t notice. I was just too busy being annoyed about it, and rightfully so. Can’t the narrator of your life narrate in peace? I do not care for superfluous conversation. And that’s not even the worst of it. Frisk, you should not be so casual about sharing control of your body, That’s like, the one thing you should never have to share. Sure, it happened one time, but I only stepped in because you were so afraid, and I didn’t even realize it was happening until it was me that the spears were getting shot at. That’s different. I will not take control of your body just to eat a slice of pie. Your pity for me is insulting.

What’s troubling is that it doesn't seem to be going away.

You take your first shivering step into Snowdin (for the fourth time, I can’t help but note) without so much as a glance behind you. This time, you left Toriel with no hesitation, and I know it’s because you know I didn’t want to stay. You’re not even trying to hide it. This is when I finally decide it’s time to confront you.

What are you doing? I ask.

“I’m…walking?” you respond, confused, through thoughts. Your boots crunch satisfyingly through the snow to prove your point. Crunch, crunch, crunch. I huff in frustration.

Frisk. Why do you keep Resetting?

This stops you (and your crunchy boots) in your tracks, and suddenly I can feel anxiety radiating off of you. You weren’t expecting me to ask you this directly.

When you don’t respond, I continue, a little bit of venom coating my words despite my best efforts. For the third time now, you have made it to the end, broken the barrier, only to start all over again. Do you not feel even the slightest bit of remorse?

“Of course I feel bad!” you’re quick to say, as if you’re surprised I would assume otherwise. “But…we’ll still get there again in the end; it’s not that big a deal.”

That’s a horrible excuse.

“Why’re you so angry about it?” Your voice comes out sharp in the frigid air.

Why are you so stubborn?

“What’re you even talking about?!”

You’re trying to delay the inevitable.

You’re about to debate me on that, too, in a defensive way rather than a genuinely angry way. But you stop, because you suddenly understand that I understand, and the anxiety returns. You continue walking after a brief hesitation.

Goodbyes are never easy, I say, as gently as I can. (It ends up sounding forced anyway.)

You ignore me, and I allow you to.

~~~

What are you going to do once you get back to the surface? Once you decide to stay?

You’ve made it to Waterfall at this point, having made it through Snowdin without much event. You’re getting a little tired of doing the same thing every time; I can tell, but you would never admit to it.

You kick a stone on the ground, watching as it disappears into the dark grass. “I dunno.” (“I dunno-”) (“-dunno-”)

Your own voice travels around you in echoes and fragments. You really shouldn’t talk out loud like this in the middle of all these echo flowers. Number one, it’s annoying, and that should be reason enough, but number two, you shouldn’t make a habit of talking out loud to the voice in your head at all. People are going to think you’re weird. And I mean, you’re already pretty weird, but do you really want the reputation of “the weird kid who talks to themself” stuck to you even after I’m gone?

I didn’t even realize you were listening to all that, but you flinch at that last part, not only mentally but physically too, and I try to ignore the fact that you’re proving my point.

I hum thoughtfully. You “don’t know”? That’s certainly an issue then, isn’t it?

You start to fidget with the hem of your sweater and return to talking to me through thoughts, much to my relief. “I just haven’t thought much about it.”

This is a lie. But I don’t point that out to you.

You’re in a part of Waterfall that you’ve never seen before. Admittedly, it’s not much different to the parts you have seen before, but the fact that it’s new at all is good enough for you. You’re trying to explore the area as much as you can this time around, because you’ve realized just how expansive Waterfall really is and the curiosity you came here with the first time still hasn’t left you. You’ve barely seen a fraction of the place, and you definitely won’t manage to see all of it, but you’re certainly going to try.

I might take this time to remind you that no matter how many times you’ve befriended her in the past, Undyne is still hunting you down in this timeline. So maybe taking the time to look at every blade of grass there is to look at isn’t the best idea. But whatever.

There are quite a few echo flowers growing in this area, as I mentioned before. It seems more secluded than the rest of the caverns that make up Waterfall, if that’s even possible. You can see the main path you usually walk from where you’re standing, separated from you by a large expanse of luminescent cyan water, and an overwhelming sense of calm washes over you. It’s like this is a little cove carved out just for you, safe from everything that may hurt you. It’s hard for me not to feel the same sense of calm. Whether it’s just the spilling over of your emotions or completely and entirely mine is hard to tell, but it doesn’t really matter.

Why don’t we sit here for a minute? I ask. You let out a breath and descend to the ground, hugging your knees and resting your head against the rough cavern walls without hesitation, as if you were waiting for me to say just that.

It’s nice to just be here, for me, with you, like this. Together. Your hands are intertwined in the way that I know means you’re trying to hold my hand, in whatever way you can. We look out at the stillness of the water, listening to the sound of rushing waterfalls in the distance. We both must be thinking about the same thing, now, because although I don’t agree with the Resets, I understand why you don’t want to leave, to some extent. Have you convinced me that you’re right? Have I felt this way the entire time and simply didn’t realize until now? I can’t say for certain. But I’m becoming increasingly aware of my own fear of reaching the end.

“Chara?” you say, voice cracking a little. The sound of my name spoken aloud and echoed around by the echo flowers startles me. “It’s just that…I really, really don’t wanna be by myself again.”

I feel tears pricking at your eyes. The honesty in your voice stings.

You won’t be by yourself, I try halfheartedly. Everyone will be up there with you.

You reposition to rest your head on your knees. “You know what I mean,” you whisper, and after a moment you say. “You’re not gonna be there.”

…Right. Of course.

That is the funny thing about good things, see. About journeys and stories. And lives. They end. Sometimes (always) too soon.

I do not know what I was expecting the first time you made it to the surface. What, was I just going to live inside your head forever? Would you want that? Would I? The strangest thing happened when you stepped over that threshold where the barrier once stood, when everyone else followed you out. I felt you pull away from me, and then I watched the back of your head as you walked out into the sun. It was a bit disorienting. I wasn’t seeing through your eyes anymore, I was just…there. Watching. Barely even there, because I couldn't feel you there justifying my existence anymore.

I don’t think there was a doubt in either of our minds about what that meant. As everyone else chatted in awe of how beautiful the sun was, you looked back at me (although I don’t think you really saw me, just the empty opening of the cave). There was confusion, or sadness, or panic on your face. I’ve never had to read your face from the outside before, what a funny thing to realize. Whatever emotion it was, it was enough to make you Reset. And then again, and again. It really was for my sake, then.

This makes me feel a strange mixture of things, but the feeling of guilt sticks out like a sore thumb. Frisk, I don’t want you to feel any sort of…obligation? Or anything? To keep me alive. I’ve been wanting to be dead for a long time.

It’s a lame attempt at humor to lighten the mood, but as soon as I think it, I realize how unfunny it sounds. It kind of stops being a joke when it’s true.

Still, you reply, “It’s not like that. You know that.”

You are making some awfully bold assumptions here, though they’re not entirely false. I’m inclined to ask, what is it like then? Would moving on with your life not be the best option here? Everything is going to work out for you. And, hey, you won’t even have to put up with an annoying ghost in your head anymore.

“What if I like the annoying ghost in my head?”

Well, then you’re weird. But we’ve already established that.

That gets a smile out of you. “See? You always make me feel better,” you think, and I want to roll my eyes at that. I want to remind you of all the times I made you feel worse rather than better, but I stay quiet for now.

“…Before I came here,” you start, eyes trained on the ground as you fidget with the grass there, “I was alone a lot. It wasn’t so bad, but…it wasn’t so good either.” You shrug one of your shoulders. “I dunno. I didn’t think about it much. I had to take care of myself, and there was never anyone there…to say it’d be okay, or to tell me dumb jokes, or just be there…y’know?”

Yeah. I do know.

…

“I kinda panicked when I left the Underground and you weren’t there. You were just…gone, and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even really mean to Reset, I just didn’t think, and I-“

You sigh.

“I just really care about you. You’re like my best friend, Chara- ‘N that’s what it’s like. It’s like saying goodbye to your best friend.”

Oh.

Ha ha. Yes, I really do know that, don’t I?

“Wait, augh. I-I probably shouldn’t’ve said it like that, I’m sorry-“

No, Frisk, there is no need to apologize. It is fine. It’s fine.

Your fingernails claw into the grass and the dirt beneath.

I know. I know what you mean. I really do.

I try not to think of my brother. I fail.

I did not think you would care so much. It’s- (stupid), I want to say, but you are not stupid. (See, caring about me always gets people hurt), I want to say, but that’s not your fault. (What did you expect?), I want to say. (I don’t believe you), I want to say. (I don’t understand you), I want to say. I can’t- I can’t say any of that. I can’t say anything to you, right now.

You- you nod, a little concerned, but you give me space. You bring your hands together again and gaze out at the water again for a minute. Then, finally, you decide to continue onwards. You have a fish monster to face.

~~~

Being here doesn’t get easier, no matter how prepared I am after each Reset. The grey, achromatic walls and floors. The feeling of despair in the air. The stillness. It directly contrasts my memories of warmth and color and love in this home. It reminds me too much of dust.

I stay quiet as you kneel in front of the save star. It glows in a steady, consistent way, light flowing out from the center and disintegrating at the edges. A comforting feeling washes over you, as it always does, and you step into the house.

It’s as lonely as ever. You should just get this over with. The monsters that are always here to greet you at this phase of your journey stop you on your way to the kitchen.

“A long time ago, a human fell into the Ruins,” one of the Froggits begins. You stand there with your hands clasped together and listen politely, as you always do. I put up a mental barrier between myself and the world and try not to listen, as I always do.

The key on the kitchen countertop glints in the other room. You wait for the Froggits to finish speaking before grabbing it and returning to the hallway. You make your way to the far end of the hall to grab the second key, too, before entering my old room.

You open the gift boxes and take the locket and dagger out without a word. I relish the familiar weight around your neck as you reach back to fasten the locket’s clasp. It helps me find the words I want to say.

Frisk. I don’t want to keep doing this.

You’re surprised to hear me speak, but you listen.

What we talked about earlier… It’s not that I don’t want to stay. I think…you’ve helped me a lot too. And I’m really glad I met you. I’m just tired of feeling stuck in the past. A part of me…wants that, but. It hurts, being here but not being able to do anything. To fix anything.

Plus, I mean. You!! The barrier’s broken thanks to you! You and…Asriel, of course. At least, it will be. Again. It’s… I’m glad it worked out in the end. Even if it took a really long time.

I wish things could be different. I wish I could stay, at least a little longer, but I don’t want to take this away from them. Or from you. I made my choice a long time ago, and this is already more than I deserve.

…

Are you…crying?

You’re holding your arms around yourself, as well. What is this???

“A hug,” you say through thoughts, sniffling.

Oh.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like that.”

It’s not your fault.

“I shouldn’t’ve kept Resetting, though. I knew it upset you the first time…”

I understand why you did it now, though. It’s okay, really.

“Okay…”

You rub your eyes with your sleeve and stand up, giving yourself a self-assured nod.

“Don’t worry. This will be the last time.”

~~~

When it’s time to fight Asriel, we’re both filled with determination. The nothingness surrounding us erupts in color and light, illuminated by kaleidoscopic starbeams and glimmering stardust. Attacks rain down on you from above, and you weave your body between them masterfully. You can’t evade them all, but I’m there cheering you on. A blast from Shocker Breaker shatters your soul; I reach out to press the pieces back together. But it refused!

Asriel floats above you, smirking with confidence in his power. You aren’t afraid of him anymore. You know all too well what he’s capable of, but you know him better now than you did when you first encountered him, just a human and a flower with a million untold secrets between them. He’d laid all his puzzle pieces out before you, and you can’t help but see the whole painful picture before you now. He’s stuck in a cycle, much like you but nothing like you at all. You’re going to help him bring it to an end. (Once and for all.)

The attacks keep coming, but you persist. You reach out to your friends within Asriel’s soul and remind them of who they are. Undyne, whom you admire for her enthusiasm and sense of justice. Alphys, whose intelligence and desire to do better inspire you. Papyrus, whom you enjoy hanging out with for his optimism and dedication. Sans, who tells you jokes that make you laugh and whose laid-back attitude puts you at ease. Toriel, who cares for you as her own child and made you feel safe when you first found yourself in this unfamiliar place. Asgore, whose presence is both comforting and sad, knowing of the difficult decisions he’s had to make in his life. Once you’ve reached out to all your friends, there’s only one thing left to do.

It seems that there’s still one last person that needs to be saved.

So you reach out to Asriel. And I do, too. He’s not the same as he was all those years ago, when we were just two kids playing in a muddy flower garden, and neither am I. But it’s still him, despite everything. He resists…and he’s still crying out to you as if you’re me. It hurts. I watch him do this every time, desperately latch on to the belief that I’m not really gone, and the ironic thing is that I have been here the whole time.

“I’m not ready for this to end,” he says, confident façade cracking.

It ended a long time ago.

“I’m not ready for you to leave,” he says.

I know.

“I’m not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again…”

…

“So, please…” His voice shakes, laced with despair. “Stop doing this… And just let me win!!!”

He raises his arms and summons all his magic for one final attack. Your vision is overwhelmed with color as the blast hits you, and you barely register the way he screams at you to stop holding on as your HP drops, with each passing second, to an impossibly low number. But it never reaches zero. You don’t die; your soul doesn’t shatter, because you’ve made it this far and you’re not about to give up now.

Finally, the world grows silent as the sound of magic rushing past your ears subsides. You’re exhausted, though Asriel is barely even paying attention to you anymore. He closes his eyes. Suddenly he seems so small inside his godlike form, too small to really be the Absolute God of HYPERDEATH.

“I’m so alone, Chara…” he says. “I’m so afraid…” They’re echoes of words I’ve already heard him say three times before, but they feel like acid nonetheless because it’s my fault and I’m the reason he’s like this, but you firmly tell me that it’s not. I don’t know if I can believe you, but I lean into you and try not to say anything more.

…

The world fades to black, and Asriel stands before you, looking the way I remember him once again. He’s covering his face, wiping away his tears and probably trying to hide the fact that he’s crying, too. He always was a crybaby, wasn’t he?

“I always was a crybaby, wasn’t I, Chara?”

Ha. Indeed.

He pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “…I know. You’re not actually Chara, are you? Chara’s been gone for a long time.”

You open your mouth to protest, but… Come on, Frisk, I can’t do that to him. Not after all that.

“But… Are you sure?”

I’m not… I am not here to stay. It would be a mistake to get his hopes up.

You twist your fingers together, disappointed, but you close your mouth anyway.

I’m only half-listening as he continues, asking for your name (which you have given him three times already) and apologizing for his actions. This is the last time I’m going to see him, is it not? He will break the barrier, and then you will go to the surface with everyone else. And I… Well, I don’t actually know what will happen to me. I won’t be able to come with you. I know that, at the very least. It looks like it might really be the end for me. I don’t know how to feel about that.

You tell him you forgive him, as you do every time. It seems only fair to you, after everything he’s gone through. A part of you understands him, even though most of you doesn’t, and you hope the knowledge that somebody in the universe forgives him gives him some solace. He smiles at you sadly.

He can’t stay, he tells you. With a deep breath, he closes his eyes in concentration. The human souls gather around him as he rises into the air, hovering around him in a circle, and the monster souls follow suit, glowing in the darkness. With the combined power of the human souls and every monster soul in the Underground, each pulsing with the same desire…the barrier is finally broken.

It’s over. There’s a weighty sense of resolution to it now. I don’t want you to Reset again. I know you won’t.

I stare at Asriel through your eyes as he lowers to the ground again, head tilted down, eyes closed. He looks so tired. He tells you that he needs to go, that you should go be with the people that care about you. You should just forget about him, he says. As if that would be possible.

Every word feels like a countdown, and I want to do something, but I can’t move. I need him to forget about me. I can’t be here messing everything up. I don’t…want him to forget me. But I don’t want him to hurt remembering me. I don’t want to stay here… I don’t want to go.

You hug Asriel. To my surprise, your arms tighten around him as you allow me to slip into control. “Just for a minute,” you think. The feeling of warmth and his sweater under my fingers and my chin on his shoulder hits me so suddenly that I can’t stop my tears from running down your face. I relax into the hug, though. I close my eyes and try to forget where we are and what we’ve been through. I don’t want to let go…

When he finally pulls away, he gives me a weird look, but it’s gone in a moment.

“I’ll miss you,” I say without thinking.

He laughs. “Please don’t.”

And just like that, he’s gone again.

“You okay?” you ask as you slip back into control. Your presence is comforting beside mine in your mind.

I am, I say. Yeah.

~~~

Outside, clouds drift lazily across the sky, a beautiful gradient from lilac to yellow to frame the setting sun. Over the edge of the mountainside, you can just barely see the tops of trees stretching out into the distance, leaves tousling gently in the breeze. Tall buildings silhouette the sky on one side, and on the other, more mountains.

The light streams in through the exit to the Underground, of which you stand behind. One of your hands is cupped over the other in front of you, and you run your fingertips over the knuckles absently. You have been standing here for a while, hesitant.

Congratulations, partner, I start in an attempt to ease the tension, you’ve saved everyone once again.

“We did,” you correct. “And Asriel.”

Of course. And now, think about it. Everyone is free for real. They can see the sun, the sky, the stars… There’s a whole future ahead of them. And you get to be a part of it. That’s amazing, is it not?

“Mhm…”

You could stay with Mom. She would make you breakfast in the morning, read you bedtime stories at night. I bet Undyne would be willing to teach you some sick fighting moves. Anime nights with Alphys.

“I could hang out with Sans and Papyrus.”

Yeah! You could learn how to make music with Napstablook. That might be fun. And Mettaton might need some help becoming a star on the surface, too.

You giggle. “I think he’s got that covered.”

Maybe. I smile along with you. But, aren’t you excited? Not everything will be easy, but you have so many people supporting you.

“I know…” You sigh through your nose. “You deserve all that too, though; it’s not fair.”

Hey. The lilac is disintegrating from the sky, fading into a deep orange. Some of the wind makes it into the cave, crisp air whistling through the doorway and cooling your skin. Hey, you know what? It’s worth it. It’s okay.

I think there are tears in your eyes again. Come on, please don’t cry.

I can’t stay here forever. I’m already overstaying my welcome, being dead and all. I was supposed to be gone a long time ago, but…I got to meet you by some miracle, and that makes it all worth it, I think. Even if I can’t stay.

“Charaaa…”

I laugh a little. Don’t worry about me, Frisk. Really. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

You hug yourself- “Hug you,” you correct. Oh. Okay. You hug me, and I, try to hug you back? It’s a little bit awkward, but I appreciate it all the same. The emotional vulnerability is starting to make me uncomfortable, but I need you to know I care about you. I know you’ll be okay.

Ha ha, this goodbye stuff is pretty hard, huh?

“Goodbye,” you say simply, with a teasing smile.

Oh, not so hard for you, it seems. Well then, “goodbye” to you, too.

I pause. …And good luck out there, partner. I think Asriel said it best: take care of everyone for me, okay? Even him.

You nod and give me a shaky little thumbs up. That’s the spirit! (Pun always intended.)

With a glance over to the others, who are in the other room, chatting amongst themselves and waiting for you, you decide you’re finally ready to go. You let everyone know, and the excitement in the room is palpable as you all make your way to the exit. They make a fuss out of you, ruffling your hair and smiling back at you. You let them leave first, and then at last, you step over the threshold yourself. I feel our connection sever.

And then I’m watching the back of your head as you walk away again. Before you reach the others though, you turn around to give me a small wave.

That’s it, I guess… I can’t exactly wave back, but I wish you well and thank you for everything. Together, you and I allow time to continue on.

[fanstuffrantings]

I follow some people who talk about baldurs gate 3, and the way the fandom almost largely goes out of its way to babygirl everything astarion does while refusing to give the same leniency to the far less evil characters is baffling.

I feel like Gale, Wyll, and Lae'zel are the ones who often make this the most clear. Under the cut.

Whether it's because of the glitch pre console release or just a general refusal to engage with his story, people like to paint this picture of Gale being some Narcissistic abuser who is only ever power hungry. I've seen people try and justify mystra's actions. Now even if Gale was a young adult when Mystra came to him, Mystra is his goddess. She's in charge of the weave. She had so much more power over him, student/teacher and boss/underling relationships are so looked down upon because of that inherent power imbalance. And I think there's also an implication that this is relatively normal for all versions of mystra to do to younger men.

Elminster isn't free of criticism because he actively brought a young Gale to be groomed into becoming a pawn for Mystra. Gale gets discarded by mystra for his seeming ambition and wants to move on, but is also still desperate to please her in anyway he can, and she tells him to kill himself. I don't understand how people go through his plotline and see him believing the only way he's useful is dead and then just assume he's just power hungry. Is he a bit full if himself? Yes. He's a wizard. They're like that. But he's not the worst person in the world, and he's definitely not the one people should claim as the abuser in his relationship with Mystra.

People call Wyll boring, some paint this idea of him being holier than thou/looking down on everyone around him. Since he was 17 Wyll has given his whole life to protecting people and trying to be a hero. He's self sacrificial, thrown out by his father for making a pact he only made to save the city he adores. Wyll talks so much about baldurs gate. He wants to return.

Wyll has his body altered unwillingly for doing the right thing and yet he never once regrets it. He's made into a devil, the creatures so many of the npcs and companions loathe, for his kindness. He's constantly tricked and mocked by Mizora who we know from the game was sent by Zariel to corrupt a good hearted person. Even still, Wyll is a kind and honest man. He's charming and a bit cheesy but that's fine. Wyll can be incredibly self sacrificial and stubborn in his morals, but if you're running around doing mean things to impress Astarion, you can't blame Wyll for not liking your character and judging you. He's a hero of the people, of course he'd stand with them. We also need to remember he got so heavily redone that he has barely 6 hours of in-game content now. Which is abysmal compared to everyone else.

Lae'zel was raised by a cult, a cult that spans all her people where they're taught to bow and serve a lich queen who promises them glory if they're good enough. She can be harsh and unfriendly, but we need to remember she's the one most aware of what the tadpole can do and with that in mind we know she's very desperate to get things done and cure herself. Next to astarion she's the most evil aligned origins companion, and even still so much of that is due to being brainwashed into a certain belief.

Lae'zel in canon is the youngest companion, very early 20s and it often shows. She's a skilled warrior who doesn't see the need for statements that are already obvious. She's been beaten into shape and filled with ideas that unless she's perfect as the creche commands then she is worthless. She's scared and alone in act 1 with people who most likely don't care about it the same way she does. Lae'zel is imperfect like all the other companions, but if you're willing to accept that astarion is soft under all his bluster, why can't you do the same for Lae'zel?

I don't hate Astarion, I liked him a lot my first playthrough, he was my main romance. But the way the fandom ignores that he's definitely evil in act 1 and 2 because "I just don't see him that way", how people act like he's the only character in the cast who was abused when abuse and the cycles of it are the main theme of the game, how people willfully misunderstand his ascension ending and paint it as his good one when the writers state repeatedly it's not, the way the fandom will insult and demean other characters for jabbing at astarion's trauma but applaud him when he does the same exact thing, when they ignored his racism towards gnomes and gur (which is anti Romani racism repackaged). There's also a chance that in his time, Astarion was a corrupt politician, something making his death more complicated but also adding interest to it that a lot of his fans want to ignore to make him pure.

Astarion isn't perfect, none of the companions are. And they're not supposed to be. But his special treatment by fans is becoming so incredibly tiresome to see.

[g0ldgauntlet]

Memories I Unlocked About My Little Pony (G4) That Made Me Realize Some Things.

(Image Description is in alt text. Post also contains minor spoilers for Arcane Season 1)

The "Party of One" Episode

Pinkie's portrayal in that episode felt like a fairly accurate representation on how mental health can fuck with you (Though, please note that I'm not a mental health expert, I just found her really relatable in some ways as someone who is undiagnosed). She has some of the most intense range of emotions, even going a bit overboard before and during the initial birthday party for Gummy to the point of exhausting herself, but her friends don't judge her for her behavior (Even if it's clear from the expressions on their faces that they don't agree with every decision she makes).

However, the moment that Pinkie feels like her friends are hiding something or trying to avoid her, her mental health begins to decline (Especially because she knows she's being blatantly lied to). Then we see her lack of emotional regulation and starting to overthink everything based on these interactions, assuming the worst. You can't even fully blame her for it because, again, no one is communicating with her properly, but the severity of her actions still showcases that her mental health is playing a part in her blowing the situation a bit out of proportion.

Plus, there's this quote-

Tell me that my friends are all lying to me and avoiding me because they don't like my parties and they don't want to be my friends anymore!

-which is a conclusion that she came up with herself. No one actually said this to her, but she assumes this is the case, and she wants Spike to validate her assumption even though he knows that's not true either. Spike gives in and tells her what she wants to hear, though, and she enters a depression because of it. This is now what she actually believes.

Of course, after this, we get the infamous facial expression that is this:

By this point, Pinkie is in the middle of having a mental breakdown. She's trying to isolate herself from her friends, now viewing them as enemies, and she's replacing them with random things that she's trying to use as a coping mechanism as she attempts to host her after-party for Gummy. The kicker is that these methods are failing. Pinkie much more rapidly shows signs of losing her composure as she puppeteers for these inanimate objects like they're real people. She keeps twitching, and then eventually it feels as if the objects have actually come alive, but in reality, the next conversation that takes place is all in Pinkie's head. These inanimate objects take the form of her negative thoughts convincing her that she's justified in believing that her friends are actually horrible people who think horrible things about her and that she shouldn't associate with them ever again, even though Pinkie herself doesn't actually believe any of that deep down. It's a very good visualization of how Pinkie's new view of her friends is still eating away at her despite her trying to shift to a new sense of "normalcy." This scene is honestly a child-friendly version of Jinx having "conversations" with the voices in her head during Arcane Season 1 (Her even going as far as to make inanimate versions of her dead friends), with Jinx also initially trying to hold onto hope that Vi still cares about her despite her mental health continuously declining.

When the other five members of the Mane Six are finally ready to talk to Pinkie, she explodes and tries shutting them all out. While they're all concerned for her due to the way that she's acting, they don't give up on her. At most, Rainbow Dash just calls Pinkie's inanimate object party creepy once she finds her, but she's still determined to drag Pinkie away from the unhealthy atmosphere (And mindset, in a metaphorical sense) that she's locked herself into. Dash takes Pinkie to the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, and it's revealed that there was a party waiting for Pinkie. Unfortunately, she continues to assume the worst of her friends, and by extension, the motives behind the party.

It's then explained that the reason why they were avoiding and withholding information from Pinkie was because they were trying to keep the party a surprise, and it was meant to be their way of celebrating Pinkie's birthday...which she forgot was that exact day.

When I tell you that I felt secondhand embarrassment-

Yet, it's not even unrealistic. A bunch of misunderstandings and a lack of having the full context to the situation led Pinkie to assuming the worst outcome and letting her negative thoughts consume her, which I think multiple people (Myself included) have experienced before. Pinkie is still given a rather mature moment, though. She perks right up after realizing that she was wrong about her assumptions, but then she feels ashamed and embarrassed for how she acted and for having doubted her friends so much. However, they reassure her that they hold no ill will towards her and make it clear that anyone can experience these types of misunderstandings.

Then we get the central message from Twilight: That good friends have your best interests at heart, and you shouldn't immediately assume the worst of them. I think it's a good way to encourage people to work on their sense of trust in others, as well as encouraging them to find ways to manage their mental health in any way that they can without necessarily demonizing those who are struggling with those issues.

I think this episode was why I was never the biggest fan of the MLP creepypastas, such as Cupcakes. I can definitely see that people had fun with this crazy portrayal of Pinkie (And I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong for liking it), but I think her canon portrayal is much more sympathetic to those who struggle with mental health issues.

Fluttershy Would Swear If MLP Had a Higher Age Rating

I remembered how upset she could get whenever she was pushed too far, and one of those moments was when Twilight brought up Discord early on in the series. Fluttershy saying "That...big...dumb...MEANIE!" with such vitriol instantly made me think that she (Or the writers, honestly) actually wanted to say, "That...MOTHER...FUCKER!" instead.

Then I decided to check out an episode from one of the later seasons that I didn't watch: The one with her brother, Zephyr Breeze. Fluttershy says that she's "peeved," and it's treated like she said a swear word. She absolutely would have said that she was "pissed" if this wasn't a kids show.

Does Fluttershy need to swear? No, definitely not, but it would be very funny and not all that unrealistic to me if she dropped a word or two whenever she got angry.

Flash Sentry Deserved Better

This boy got screwed over so hard that it's honestly really sad. He's a good example of MLP's consistent lack of development within a lot of its male cast, but it was much more noticeable with him since he was the love interest of the main character, and as a result, a lot of attention was focused on just him.

I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you much about Shining Armor (in the show, not the comics, which I have never read) aside from him being Cadance's husband and Twilight's brother, and then basically being used as a partial plot device so that Cadance could use the power of love to defeat Queen Chrysalis. The same goes for Big Mac, whose most defining trait was not saying much besides two words, and I believe that Soarin also has minimal development. I don't even remember that much about King Sombra in the initial first few seasons aside from what the cast members tell us about him (though I could be wrong here, it's been a while since I watched the show and I heard he gets more characterization later).

It seems fairly obvious to me that a large reason behind why Flash - and his dynamic with Twilight by extension - was not expanded upon later was because Bronies (and by that, I specifically mean a very vocal crowd of older adult men) within the fandom sent so much backlash over this character in Hasbro's direction that they decided to sideline him instead. It still astonishes me that grown ass men had so much influence over this show when they weren't even the target demographic, and that's not even the only time that they had ruined something for other people. Flash was not that different from what I just mentioned about the male cast members, meaning that it's not a "Flash Sentry" problem - It's a "Male MLP Character" problem.

I will, however, acknowledge that the decision to have main universe Twilight go to a universe where the cast members are highschoolers was a strange decision by the writers. A college setting would have been just fine, especially since Lauren Faust has said that Twilight might be at least around the age of a college freshman in human years.

As a kid, I liked Flash, and I used to theorize about what the writers were going to do with him later on. As I got older, I realized that way more people liked Flash than I thought (Especially on TikTok. Good lord LOL), and others were mostly indifferent towards him. It was upsetting watching him get sidelined, and I didn't like Timber, who I had assumed was supposed to be Flash's replacement but ten times more annoying.

Flash had become the fandom scapegoat and punching bag. I think it would be more fun to see people reclaim him and make content of him in their image based on their headcanons or whatever, like they did with several other characters in the show. I, for one, am definitely planning on doing so myself!

Rainbow Dash Is Basically Sonic For The Girls and I Owe Her An Apology

I used to HATE Rainbow Dash as a kid. I thought she was the most annoying out of the Mane Six (With Fluttershy as a second-least favorite but that was a whole other thing. I don't dislike her anymore, don't kill me LOL). However, it was not lost on me that people would constantly make comparisons between her and Sonic, and I'm now realizing as an adult that this makes more sense beyond them both having super speed.

Dash is sweet, but like Sonic, she can also be cocky, competitive, heroic, and reckless. She is the one who influenced the rest of her friends' lives early on (Via the Sonic Rainboom), just as Sonic did with his friends, eventually forming a tight-knit group. She gets up to shenanigans with a cheerful, pink-themed character (Pinkie, of course), and has a yellow-themed friend who decides to stand up for herself and can keep up with Dash when she puts her mind to it (Fluttershy). Like Sonic, she also loves reading, and her presence revolves a bit around having a cool factor.

It is kind of shocking, yet funny that I held this double standard against Rainbow Dash as a child, since she and Sonic share similar traits, and yet I thought Sonic was cool while Rainbow Dash was unbearable. Internalized biases have a chokehold on people, I suppose.

Sunset Shimmer Is a Reformed Villain Done Right

(Please keep in mind that it's been years since I watched the Equestria Girls movies, so I might have some details wrong here)

She started out acting like an arrogant, highschool queen bee type of person who thought she was owed everything, only to be humbled by Twilight. Then she begins to realize the error of her ways, and while the Humane Six forgive her right away, not everyone else does, and Sunset Shimmer simply has to live with that. The sins of her past continue to haunt her, but she still finds the resolve to strive to be a better person and help other people who need it (Such as SciTwi).

I think her arc was a realistic portrayal of someone who had done something messed up and then realized later that her mistakes will cause people to see her differently. Despite that, and despite knowing that some people may never forgive her, however, Sunset wants to keep moving forward so that she can make amends and help people heal rather than hurt them. I liked the message behind this as well - That people should continue to try to do good things, even if your past mistakes can't be reversed. The past shouldn't hold you back for the rest of your life.

[ughgoaway]

Potential conflicts for the I love you blurb/fic

1. Annie gets injured at school. Proper injured and has to be taken to hospital. Matty loses it completely, snapping at everything and everyone, including reader. He snaps at her and reader starts to cry (she feels like absolute shit and Matty is clearly not helping) and goes to hide in the bathroom. Once Matty is told that Annie will be alright, he goes and tries to talk to reader, but she's still shaken and doesn't wanna talk to him. He tries to apologise, and in his apology, he says that he loves her.

2. Reader starts hanging out with an old friend of her, maybe a high-school friend or something like that. Matty gets jealous but doesn't say anything at first. Then Annie tells him how reader brought her friend to class and he thought them about whatever it is that he does (maybe he's a firefighter or something that kids think is cool). Matty, like the little shit that he is, instead of communicating his discomfort, he starts distancing himself from reader. When she, tired and confused by his antics, approaches him to ask for an explanation, things get heated, and they start going at each other. When Matty suggests that she's cheating on him, she says something like: Are you stupid? Why would I cheat on you if I love you?

both of these are very, very good. I love them!!! I wanna give my thoughts on both, but I only have the energy for one rn, so here that is! and when I come back and add more, I'll reblog this lol <3

(no proofreading, just vibes)

okay, I'm gonna alter the first one a lil' and maybe make it sadder... apologies, but I promise it ends nice <3

I can see Annie falling off a swing at school and breaking her arm. matty gets the phone call and drops EVERYTHING.

he gets to school and the nurses office and sees you sat with Annie and she's sniffling and holding her arm, her eyes red from crying.

matty runs in, and as soon as Annie sees him, she days, "Daddy?" and then bursts into tears, matty actually feels his heart splinter into 1000 pieces and comes rushing over and holding her, shushing her and stroking her head as it rests against his chest.

"What happened?" he says it kind of angrily, but you brush it off just assuming he's stressed.

"Oh, don't worry too much," you can see matty is annoyed at your words, but you still shake it off and contuine. "Annie was just swinging a little too high and fell off the swing. the nurse says her arm might be broken, so you need to take a little trip to a&e. you'll be okay though, won't you Annie?" As you ask you stretch your arm to stroke her head, but matty jerks her away from you, and you shoot your head up to look at him questioningly.

mattys jaw ticks before he sighs and starts angrily whispering, and if Annie wasn't there, you're sure he'd be shouting. "she'll be okay? where were you? aren't you meant to be watching her? " he hissed.

you're a little taken aback and say, "Well, I was on the playground, but I can't be everywhere all at once, you know that"

matty immediately jumps down your throat and says, "It's your job to keep her safe, and look what's happened? just- go away. I'm taking her to a&e now." he sighs angrily and scoffs at the tears brewing in your eyes and walks off.

as soon as the door clicks shut, you start sobbing, sitting down on the chair with your head in your hands. I'm talking like full snot bubbles aggressive crying.

hurting Annie is your worst fucking nightmare, and you felt guilty enough before matty came in here acting like a dick. you try to be mad at him but you can't help but just blame yourself.

it was your fault she fell. it was your fault she's hurt. you're to blame.

cut to hours later, Annie has a new cast and a lollypop in her mouth and quite honestly couldn't be happier. she got to choose the colour (stereotypical pink but she loves it) and all the staff signed it. she got a sticker and her favourite flavour of Lolly, as well as lots of fuss from everyone, so she's pretty chuffed.

she's looking forward to going to school tomorrow and getting everyone to sign her cast and ask lots of questions, "Did it hurt really bad???"No, but that's because my daddy says I'm really brave, so it would probably hurt you"

(she was crying for a good 45 mins from the pain, but he lets her live in delusion)

and once Annie is asleep in bed and matty is sat on the sofa left with only his own thoughts, he realises he was a fucking dick.

he says, "fuck" out loud and hangs his head down, he wants nothing more than to call you but he knows he should wait until he sees you in person. you haven't moved in yet, but you've been together a while so he could just go over to your place and beg for an apology but he can't bring himself to do it.

him and annie show up early to school. He leaves Annie in the library, showing all the librarians her cast and recounting her story. he sneaks off to your room to apologise.

he walks in, you look up and roll your eyes before going back to your work. overnight, you had gone from guilty to pissed off.

matty knew how much you love Annie, and yet he still treated you like you had personally thrown her off the swing.

"Look, I deserve that, I know. I was a dick yesterday, and I'm so sorry. " matty sighs as he walks over and leans on your desk beside you on your chair. you spin around with your arms cross and nod for him to contuine.

"Please forgive me, baby. I'm so sorry. seeing Annie hurt just broke my heart, and"

"And it didn't break mine? God matty you're such a fucking dick. you know I love her."

he waited for you to scream and shout more, just take it out on him, but you stay silent and stare.

matty was stressing out at your silence, so he did what he did best when stressed. He rambled.

"Please, you have to accept my apology. I've been killing myself the whole night. the way I spoke to you was just- awful. inexcusable. I know you love her, I love her too. and I love you so much. but the whole situation got on top of me and-" matty stopped when he felt your hand on his arm, and he finally had the guts to look you in your eyes and he once again saw them brimming with tears.

before he could stutter another apology, you stand up and hug him. Whilst he's confused, he just wraps his arms around you and hugs you.

he feels you mumble against him but can't quite make it out, "what was that, sweetheart?"

you pull back and give him a teary but happy smile and say, "I forgive you. and I love you too"

it's only then that matty realises what he said, and the look on his face has you giggling immediately. you bring your hands up and rest them on his cheeks.

"Love you," you say, making his eyes look at yours.

you see them soften before he says, "Love you too."

more blurbs from this au here :)

[wombywoo]

Please, I want to hear more about Danny and the loss of his arm and how he felt about it! We know Quinn blames himself and has distanced himself from Danny because of it, but does Danny know that? It makes me wonder if, after Quinn starts to settle down and become happy with Vincent, he realises how much he misses Danny / can accept what happened and gets back to being bffs with him.

More Danny content, let's gooooo

All in all, I think Danny getting his arm cut off was more traumatizing for Quinn, lol. That isn't to say he wasn't affected by it, but Danny is way better at rationalizing things and seeing the positives. You could say he's allllll right (rip to his left arm 💪🙏🕊️ never forgotten...)

It takes adjusting in the beginning, especially because he's a fit man in the prime of his life and this is the worst injury he's ever endured, but he's determined to not be held back by his new disability. In fact, he's the type of guy who will make lame jokes about it whenever he can (see above lame joke). Concerning his best friend's reaction, he's much more inclined to focus on the fact that hey--Quinn saved his life! That's certainly better than being dead, eh? It's obvious to him that Quinn harbors immense guilt over it, because the prick can't even look him in the eye, and has started avoiding his calls. But Danny's assured him multiple times that he doesn't blame him in the slightest. He feels indebted to him, if anything, but Quinn will never see it that way.

Maybe it's the fact that Danny has his girlfriend Jazmine around all the time now, as they've rekindled their previous romance after she went to see him in the hospital. Jaz is super sweet and caring, but Danny gets the feeling Quinn is avoiding her (and by extension, him) on purpose. After making an effort to introduce Quinn and have him over a few times, it's clear that he doesn't want anything to do with Jaz, and Danny's not sure if this is just his regular brand of antisocial, or that Quinn's....jealous. (he is)

For Quinn, this feels like the inevitable end of their friendship, and he's using the injury as a way to stockpile all the blame and shame he's felt about his part in their relationship for years. In his eyes, he'd been a horrible friend--being a constant source of anxiety for Danny due to his reckless behavior, forcing him to assist him with his visions, imposing his feelings by trying to kiss him, etc. He knows Danny doesn't love him *like that*, especially after seeing him with Jazmine, so he doesn't want to expose them both to that extreme level of commitment anymore. It's just...so damn difficult because Danny is his best (and probably only) friend. But at this point, Quinn figures it might as well be better to just leave him alone and move on; he's got Jaz now, and they seem happy, really happy, but god..he wishes they weren't but he's not gonna be some needy freak trying to break them up..he'll get over it...he will...

With Vincent, things only escalate further. After he and Quinn establish their romantic relationship, Danny has...concerns. Danny had been there throughout all of Quinn's turbulent flings, so he has an understanding of his best friend's preferences--charming, usually dangerous, manipulative older men. And to him, Vincent seems to fit that bill exactly. Watching Quinn silently suffer through his relationship with Marc, Danny regretted not seeing the signs and stepping in earlier. Now that he's introduced to Vincent, his instinct is to assume this is another one of Quinn's reckless, risky hookups. The man appears inherently dangerous to Danny, his recent encounter with a vampire still fresh in his mind. So yeah...he's not very accepting at first. In fact, he actively objects to their relationship and has a massive fight with Quinn about it. Quinn, poor emotionally-oblivious fool that he is, takes this as Danny's belated realization that he has feelings for him after all, and then things just get even more messy 😓

They fight. Nasty things are said. Regrets are had.

It takes a while, but eventually, Danny becomes convinced of Vincent's true character. His friendship with Quinn is still on the rocks, but it's seeing Vincent's sincerity and the way he openly displays his devotion to Quinn that allows Danny to accept them both. He still feels this weird guilt about Quinn, this constant urge to protect his best friend, even from himself, but knowing that Vincent is very much in love with him and keeps his safety and happiness as his main priority is a massive relief.

They may not ever hold that same level of devotion they'd fostered after years of service and trauma together, but Quinn and Danny settle into a more natural, comfortable friendship over time. Quinn accepts and apologizes to Jazmine, as does Danny to Vincent, and the four of them develop an awkward sort of camaraderie. But they're still best friends, after everything. And they do, eventually, begin to forgive themselves for the private guilt they still carry on each other's behalf

[slexenskee]

Nest (Oneshot)

Someone, at some point, somewhere in one of my inboxes, asked me something about Hawks's more bird-like traits. I wish I could remember... literally anything else about it so I could track it down and answer it properly, but I can't so here's Gojo being sick and Hawks building a nest about it

[link] (or read below)

Getting sick is a normal and uncommon fact of life— unless your name is Gojo Satoru.

This is his reasoning for how he idiotically misses the signs of his own incoming misery until it’s too late to avoid it. He’d had a sickly early childhood, mainly due to a premature birth and a finicky eating schedule, but by the time his Six Eyes and his memories had awakened he’d gotten through the worst of it. There was still the usual gamut of runny noses pervasive in the public school system, but eventually he’d learned to filter out the worst of the pathogens. Some common viruses, like the cold or the flu, changed too quickly each year for him to do it reliably, but as he got older he just learned to keep a healthy(ish) diet and a decent(ish) sleep schedule and avoid them. 

In hindsight, that it took him this long into his parenting adventures to finally catch something from Eri was actually rather impressive. Kids were the penultimate vector of diseases; sticky hands, constantly touching everything and everyone, and spending notable amounts of time around other small human-shaped vectors of diseases made catching an illness an inevitable outcome for any parent. As it turns out, Gojo Satoru and his invincible barrier was no exception.

Anyway, so finally getting sick wasn’t that surprising, even if he wasn’t thrilled with the experience. 

But Hawks’s reaction to it… well… okay maybe that shouldn’t have been surprising either, but it sure was a bewildering thing to wake up to.

He wakes from a groggy, disorienting sleep with a head that feels stuffed full of cotton (or maybe just congestion) and only a vague recollection of how he ended up back in his bed. He thinks he actually fell asleep on the couch with Eri on his chest, but at some point he remembers being carried off somewhere. 

Eri had gotten some kind of bad head cold from her daycare. Nothing life threatening, or even warranting a trip to the pediatrician, but painful to deal with nonetheless. He hates to see her so obviously unwell and unhappy, and especially hates how little he can do for her when she’s like this. He’d stayed up with her through her miserable coughing fits, gave her steam baths when he could, and made sure to keep her on a steady clip of simple foods and fluids. In the process, he’d slept poorly himself, and spent most of his time stressing out about her and forgetting to eat or drink fluids himself. 

At first, he just assumed his poor constitution could be blamed on a criminal lack of sleep. Then he tries to take a breath through his nose and ends up in a coughing fit instead, and realizes not only is he still sleep deprived, but now also sick. 

Gojo collapses back onto the bed, sighing as he resigns himself to a pretty unfortunate next few days. 

He rolls over onto his side, hoping to clear out his lungs that way, and ends up with a nose full of Eri’s hair and a cat yowling in protest. 

This isn’t particularly unusual. Eri still sleeps with him on occasion, and when she does she sometimes forgets to close the door behind her and the cat prowls in at some point and makes a nuisance of himself by curling up right where Gojo wants to put his legs. 

But when Gojo opens his eyes to swat the cat off the bed, he’s met with a peculiar sight. 

He blinks bleary eyes out at the scene, a bit bewildered, and wondering if his head cold is making him hallucinate. 

The bed is… full of junk. 

Well, not junk exactly, but a strange and random collection of various household items that, at first, make no sense to Gojo. Every throw pillow in the house seems to have made its way into a vague circle around the perimeter of the bed, and draped across them are all the spare sheets, random pillowcases, a few sweaters, a pair of fuzzy socks he thinks might belong to Yui, the throw blanket that lives on the couch downstairs, and even a few throw blankets he doesn’t even recognize. 

He reaches for the nearest one, a plaid thing he’s very certain he’s never seen before in his life. It’s silky soft, and also still has a tag on it. He rubs his fingers across the smooth fabric, then moves to the sweater that’s bunched up next to it. It’s also quite soft. Everything on the bed is soft, he realizes. It’s not just an arbitrary assortment of all the fabric items in the house— it’s an assortment of all the softest fabrics in the house, laid out in a conspicuously circular arrangement around him. 

Gojo’s not entirely certain, but he thinks this is supposed to be some kind of nest. And he appears to be in the center of it. 

For a long moment, head still fuzzy with sleep, he just stares out into it incredulously. Then he shrugs and grabs one of the random blankets and throws it over him and Eri, snuggles back up to her, and falls back asleep. 

//

Hawks returns to the room when the light is low, so quiet Gojo almost doesn’t stir even as the other man moves about the bed. He reaches out blindly in the direction of the noise, catching the Hawks’s sleeve. 

“Oh,” Hawks says softly. “You’re awake? How are you feeling?”

Gojo gives an unintelligible grunt in response. Hawks just chuckles, moving closer to push the hair off Gojo’s forehead. “Yeah, I figured as much. I’ve got water and medicine, if you’re up for it.”

Gojo eventually summons up the energy to open his eyes. At some point, Eri and Meow have disappeared, leaving him rather lonely in this crowded bed. 

He blinks up at Hawks. “... You made me a nest.”

He made a nest, and then put Eri, all the softest things in the house, and even the cat in it with him. If he wasn’t so out of it right now, he’d be dying from the adorableness of it all. 

Hawks looks a bit abashed as he looks down at his arms. Gojo realizes he’s got a collection of sheets and pillowcases in his arms that had formerly been strewn around the edges of his the bed. “Ah… yeah. Sorry about that— I kind of made a mess! I’ll clean it up and put these in the wash.” 

Gojo frowns up at him, blaming his wretched sinuses for the way it takes him so long to realize Hawks doesn’t just look bashful, but perhaps even a bit self-conscious. He tugs a little harder on the man’s sleeve, wishing he felt a little more coherent so he could properly explain himself. 

“Don’t clean it up,” he says, voice rough with sleep. “I like it.”

“Oh,” Hawks looks surprised, and a little pleased. “... You don’t mind?”

Gojo shakes his head, which from the way his head starts swimming in dizziness after, was probably not the best idea. He has to close his eyes to stave off the nausea, and Hawks immediately starts fussing over him and urging him to sit up and take his medicine. As he does that the hero walks over to the blinds and slides them shut, dousing the room in blissful darkness. He gives a sigh of relief; he’d forgotten how sensitive he gets to light when he’s sick. 

“Better?” Hawks asks. 

Gojo makes a noise of acknowledgement, setting down the empty glass as he smiles up at him. “Yeah, thanks.”

“Of course,” Hawks replies easily, returning to his side. He settles at the edge of the bed, careful not to dislodge all his hard work, gaze worried. “Do you need anything else?”

He’s about to say no, before he thinks better of it. He makes a show of looking around the bed. “You know, it’s a pretty nice nest,” he starts, slowly. “But I think it’s missing something.”

It’s cute how Hawks sits up at attention, suddenly very alert, looking both eager to please but also a bit offended. “Missing what?” 

Gojo grins at him. “You.”

Hawks rolls his eyes. “That was embarrassing for both of us,” he mutters, but nonetheless slides in next to him without protest. 

Yeah, his game’s usually better than that, but whatever, he’s sick and he still got what he wanted. 

Back to Masterposts

[mejomonster]

Modu chapter 5: fei du blew him a kiss

两位大爷谁也得罪不起，陶警官只好冲着无辜的夜空翻了个白眼，快步跟上骆闻舟。

走了几步，他下意识地一回头，果不其然，看见费渡正一动不动地站在原地目送他的背影，见他回头，费渡好像早料到这一幕一样，倏地一笑，伸出两根手指，在自己嘴唇上贴了一下，然后冲陶然轻轻一弹。

陶然：“……”

So the thing is. I read edanglartranslation's english translation of modu before. And I remember that while early in the story tao ran seems more like he cares for fei du... the more you learn, the more you realize Tao Ran is a realist and Luo Wenzhou's actually the one who is more open to believing Fei Du can't be capable of truly monstrous things... even when evidence implies otherwise. Luo Wenzhou acts like he assumes the worst, but hes trying very hard to push fei du onto a good path and be a good person. Knowing (some) of where fei du came from and some of the reality of his still cruel at times behavior. Whereas Tao Ran sees the fruits of fei du being influenced by luo wenzhou in a good way, and has hope for the kid, but when fei du does or seems to be involved in dark stuff well Tao Ran is less unfailingly in his court. The little girl who kills in case 2 is, as always, my favorite fei du parallel. Shes done similar to what he has done, and tao ran cant imagine saving her after all shes done or how she could even be this cruel. Luo wenzhou saw a fei du much like that little girl, and tried to help him grow into someone better than his surroundings (his dad etc). Luo wenzhou found a victim he failed to save, failed to help in time (and failed even as an older kid regarding fei du's own self harm versus what luo wenzhou didnt know), and still tried to help. And in just trying to helo, he did help fei du heal to some degrees and ultimately make some good choices and have a much better idea of his own internal morals and confidence in them.

Its always interesting to me the roles tao ran and luo wenzhou played in fei du's life abd as the story shifts what it lets you know. And as like an age gap relationship story, it actually uses that aspect to explore some really interesting perspective stuff about responsibility and blame and delusion and naivety. From luo wenzhou seeing fei du as His Responsibility to care for/help/save/fix as more than you'd ever see an adults choices (until of coursdl luo wenzhou learns to see him as an adult who now is responsible for himself), to fei du assuming unrealistically high blame and self hatred for things he isnt the cause of (because children tend to blame themselves more for tragedies in their lives and things they had no control over). Those two aspects make them very much savior/victim and hero/monster in each others eyes when they arent thinking clearly. To fei du, at his most irrational, hes a monster and its all he can be and luo wenzhou is a hero. At his most emotional, luo wenzhou sees himself as a failed savior and fei du as a victim he desperately wants to prove he can save.

They can both think clearly, but meeting when fei du was so young meant fei du took personal hatred of himself for his own trauma (and put luo wenzhou on a pedestal that luo wenzhou FELL off of by failing to help), and it meant luo wenzhou naive young detective faced the reality he cant save innocents and cant protect even if he tries and he reacted in a very controlling parent/cop way to try and fix by controlling (an interesting parallel and reverse of how fei dus dad acts - luo wenzhou punishes in ways fei du finds soothing and non threatening, luo wenzhou pressures him to be Nice, luo wenzhou lets him throw fits and hit and be a brat and be Anything versus his actual father who was terrifying if fei du actsd out even a little. Luo wenzhou is the "safe" outlet where fei du actually gets something close to a healthy upbringing, and by extension tao ran - who helps with that healthy modeling of safe authority figures because luo wenzhou pushes him to help give fei du safety and support).

Their ages when they meet develops this very particular way of using each other to heal and lean on, and then the relationship cant really bloom as romantic until luo wenzhou faces the fact fei du is an adult responsible for his Own Choices now and that luo wenzhou Cant Protect. They cant be together until fei du stops seeing luo wenzhou as a replacement for his mom - a precious person who loves him, who he fears he'll hurt or kill because his dad made him believe people he loves will die like his mom and itll be Fei Dus fault (in his head). They both have SO much baggage with each other by the time they start to try a romantic relationship. Because theyve already had each other to serve various roles and supports (and to support their own deluded way of hating themselves) for years.

Tao Ran, the realist, has had the least lies built up in his own head and least relying on those two (versus luo wenzhou who sees tao ran as a proxy wife/partner/beloved trusted person which Luo Wenzhou tends to NEED to fully trust in someone, and fei du who uses tao ran as a safe outlet to csre about... since luo wenzhou is too beloved like his own mom, too parental like his own dad, too precious to risk being close to lest fei du harms what he values). Tao Ran has his own delusions, mostly that he hurts ppl by being in their life, that he has to take on risk alone, and a lot of self sacrificing biases that are typical of a lone detective mold. If luo wenzhou is a optimist who hopes good people exist, and fei du is a pessimist who believes everyone is a monster, then tao ran is a middle view of believing its up to him (on his shoulders) to try and keep the world FROM being all monsters. And his failures crush him (where luo wenzhou can bounce back better), his hopes are fragile. As a trio the 3 of them make for an incredibly interesting story exploration.

[ichiharas-familiar]

Maiden Rose post below the cut. We are all friends here we are holding hands in a circle and you are reading this post in good faith. Standard Maiden Rose warnings apply.

The thing about MR is that it plays the romance tropes straight, and plays them to their logical conclusion. YES Klaus is the ideal of a dom who gives you everything you want without having to ask for it, YES Taki is the pure maiden with a secret desire. But how long can you preserve that dynamic. Doesn't it hurt you to play that forever? Don't you have to change? Don't you have to open up eventually? What if you didn't. What if you kept following those roles down into hell.

The sex Taki and Klaus are having has always been dubcon-y- the audience knows what Taki wants, because we can see inside his head, but Klaus can't, and Taki *cannot* verbalize desire. We see this explictly, in the hospital scene, when he says something like 'before you, I never knew how to want anything'. It's not just that he can't speak up because of his fear of the hammer of god coming down on him and his people for consenting to sex, it's that he straight up does not have the language. So Klaus has to assume. And Taki WANTS him to assume. This is all very typical bl convention.

But once they get to Japan the dubcon turns pretty clearly into noncon. Taki is now explictly refusing rather than just hesitating, things become more and more violent until we get to the rape in the shed which is the moment where Klaus breaks, and finally all the guilt of what he's been doing crashes down on him. He is ready to die for this, but Taki won't let him. So he has to live with that guilt.

And then it doesn't fucking stop. Taki unties him when he's delirious (against Klaus's explict orders) and Klaus hurts him again. IMO, Taki knows what might happen when he does this. And Klaus starts realizing he's stuck playing this part. That he is *not* in a bodice ripper romance novel where the heroine opens up after her initial reluctance, that this is from now on the only way he's going to get anything from Taki. He will be the monster everyone thinks he is until he dies. The retconned-out-of-existance curtain scene is so painful because of this. Klaus is trying to establish a boundary, is trying to say 'Let me be your sword and nothing else, I can do that, I'm okay with only that. Let me have something I can still be proud of after all the shameful things I've done to you.' And then Taki *initiates contact* for the first time in... basically ever. And we see his thoughts, 'please don't go back to just being my friend'. This is, in the strained, highly structured relationship they have now, an implied request for more, despite being only a hug. But I don't think Klaus can do it anymore. I don't think he can take the implied requests, the suggestions, the hints of desire. I don't think he wants to be the one to blame anymore, but I don't know if Taki is capable of being anything other than a 'sacrifice', as Klaus calls him.

I talk a lot about sub!Klaus and it sounds silly but I think it might genuinely be the only solution to this problem. Klaus, the Klaus we have now, can't initiate. Every time he initiates any sort of physical contact (even if Taki is okay with it), he takes on the role of monster more and more, he is reminded of what he did, and it's hurting him. A Taki who would order him around, who would *have* to verbalize his desires? That's like a dream to Klaus.

(All of this is not of course to put the blame on Taki. Like I've said before, Klaus is a guy whose stupid purity kink is coming to bite him in the ass in the worst way. If someone reacts to sex the way Taki did you should not, in the real world, have sex with them. Klaus did it anyway and here we are. They are both in unwinnable positions due to their roles in the larger society but ALSO due to the roles they've been playing with one another.)

[attonposting]

Presenting: A Mostly Complete Breakdown of the KotOR II Crew's Relationships With Each Other

(Assuming a LS Exile, a dollop of headcanon, and a lot of reading time)

Kreia

Kreia and Atton: Of all the crewmate dynamics in the game, this one's the most well-explored, with a particularly glorious smattering of high-grade explosives. What's maybe less apparent is why they hate each other. Atton's part is straightforward; his demeanor towards Kreia starts out the same abrasive, pseudo-hostile that's his default. It sours further when she talks down to him and acts like a holier-than-thou Jedi, but he'll still interact with her willingly. And it bottoms out into murderous, trapped loathing at the Telos academy, where Kreia becomes his slavemistress and he avoids her whenever possible, desperately hungry to lash out but terrified of her retribution.

Why does Kreia hate Atton so much, though? It starts out because he's an irreverent bastard, but I think it comes down to two main reasons. Number one is that he reminds her of Sion, her worst student. They're a pair of stubborn, sadistic, infatuated blockheads who took all the wrong lessons from Malachor and run about with their oversimplified conclusions causing destruction for no purpose but its own sake. Most importantly, what Atton shirks and what Kreia embraces is accountability. Kreia believes in ownership of one's choices to the point that she can't accept redemption – wanting to change, admitting you were wrong - as an honest decision. Atton? Atton doesn't believe in redemption either, but that's because he fuckin' bails rather than own up to anything. And when Kreia uncovers that, how he cowers from his own nature, her scorn is boundless.

Reason two is that Kreia would have rather traveled with the Exile alone, shaping them in isolation of other influences. Atton is the first spanner in this plan. Later on it becomes clear that the Force has designs for the Exile, and that their entourage is simply something she must contend with, but Atton still gets the short end of the stick here because he's one of the companions who wants to get close to the Exile, especially if they're a lady. And the possibility of Atton, who is a lesson in doing everything wrong, influencing the Exile? Not on her watch.

Kreia and Bao-Dur: Bao-Dur is one of the crewmates Kreia hates most, though not through any fault of his own. He defies her probing (she really doesn't like it if she learns he actually can be read, just not by her), and she also dislikes the old and powerful connection he has with the Exile, because anyone who can mold the Exile, or who they'll turn to for support, fundamentally undermines her mentorship. Bao-Dur is neutral to Kreia at first but comes to distrust her the more he overhears. Her guidance to the Exile sets off a lot of red flags, but he doesn't really feel prompted to act on it unless the Exile starts listening to her – whereupon he'll incorrectly blame his General's fall on Kreia and attempt to act in their protection.

Kreia and Mira: Kreia doesn't particularly see Mira as a threat compared to many of the others. A foolish little girl clinging to a code that will get her killed, yes. But she's not an obstacle to her plans for the Exile, being as standoffish as she is, and so Kreia leaves her to her own devices, biding her time for the day she'll be tested. Mira is very wary of Kreia without fully understanding why – looks harmless, but Mira's good at feeling people and Kreia gives her all kinds of bad vibes – so she keeps a wide berth. Any conversations they've had have been very short and very acerbic on both sides.

Kreia and Brianna: This gets really complicated if you ascribe to the 'Kreia is Arren Kae' theory, which I do. It would certainly explain why Kreia's hackles go up when Brianna joins the crew, when the connection to Atris and later her antipathy for Visas is something she makes liberal use of, and also why she's so disapproving of training Brianna to be a Jedi when she expresses very little opinion on the subject for anyone else. There might be a smidgen of an old desire to keep her out of harm's way (and even moreso, to remain free of the Force and its machinations), but Kreia refuses to allow whatever feelings remain influence her decisions – and she throws Brianna right into harm's way when she uses her at the rebuilt Enclave and drops her off at a freshly-unhinged Atris's feet. That right there kills any nascent thoughts I might have had of Kreia approaching Brianna for any constructive reason during their earlier travels. Before everything goes down, I don't see them crossing paths much – Kreia has an especial desire to keep her distance and Brianna is not one to socialize.

Kreia and Mical: There is not a lot of interaction that can happen when you've been mindwhammied into forgetting the other person exists. I don't think Mical knew Kreia was on the ship at all until the game's climax, even when he was looking right at her. Kreia has an interesting opinion on Mical, though. She definitely disdains his idealism and softheartedness, but I think she does respect him in a backhanded way – he's the only one who managed to figure out what was happening, and actually forced her hand in order to keep the game afoot. I certainly read a sort of admiration in “you were a wasted pawn of the Republic,” and that's more than anyone else on the crew gets out of Kreia.

Kreia and Visas: So Kreia resents Visas, a lot. She did not want the Exile to have to face Nihilus, and Visas's arrival locked that very dangerous confrontation in stone. She adapts her plans quite successfully, because she's nothing if not resourceful, but Kreia's attempts to prey on Brianna's distrust and inflame her jealousy have nothing to do with any threat Visas presents. I think it also comes back to her scorn for both weakness and redemption; if Visas was weak enough to have her will crushed, she doesn't deserve to be lifted up, and the Exile only wastes their limited energy on a pity project. On her end, Visas is a remarkably mellow individual, but Kreia is the one person on the ship she does not trust. The others are clear presences through the Force, even drawn towards the Exile's alignment as they are. When she looks at Kreia, her sight is... blurred. Difficult to see. And her Master had spoken of his own Master, a Darth Traya...

Kreia and Canderous: I doubt Kreia sees Canderous as anything more than one of Revan's creatures, broken upon their charisma and following their orders in vain. She's generally pretty uninterested in any of the crewmates beyond their potential uses, but her treatment of Canderous is especially dismissive in that she doesn't even care if he sees her for what she is. I find her general scorn of the Mandalorians interesting, given that they do espouse a lot of the philosophy she shares in-game – they have a sink-or-swim ideology that eschews aid and forces each member to survive on their own merits, always seeking adversity to become strong lest they dull their edge, without falling into the Sith trap of self-destruction through infighting. I guess they're not subtle enough for her tastes. Canderous hates her for the same reason Atton does – she didn't even try to hide the fact that she was manipulating him, just nailed him to the wall on day one. Even if she hadn't been so blatant, I doubt Canderous has much trust for Jedi-types lying around after the plot twist of the first game. Revanchists, he's totally game to hang out and swap war stories, but Kreia's more of the 'preachy old crone in robes' breed of Jedi and he remembers what happened the last time he trusted those.

Kreia and T3-M4: Oh boy, but Kreia does not like the metal cinnamon roll. She's got issues with her students having attachments to people that aren't her, and she already dislikes droids for their immunity to mental alteration and probing. Which is actually intensely hypocritical of her, since she otherwise praises things that are dead to the Force and can defy its will – but I suppose it's less laudable when the Force in question is her own. Same as how Kreia praises focusing on practical skills rather than the Force, yet apart from her persuasion has few of her own, which is why these droids can defy her so. Add in that it's T3's navicomputer lock that's preventing Kreia from discovering where Revan has gone, and it's no surprise she blasts him in the cut content. For T3's part, he's never liked the old woman – she's very rude, yes, but more important is the question of how exactly Kreia got on the ship in the first place. How and when, I don't know, but she definitely hijacked T3's ship at some point and interrupted his Very Important Mission. Even if their goals ended up being aligned, T3 has issues with people who think they don't have to ask for his permission.

Kreia and HK-47: For this one, we're back to Kreia's refusal to view droids as people. In her eyes, HK-47 is yet another one of the tools Revan lavished their time on in a meaningless sidetrack from their true potential. Unlike T3, though, HK doesn't present an ongoing obstacle, just a blunt instrument and an irritating reminder of her former student's proclivities. HK, for his part, frequently occupies his processors with potential scenarios where he could terminate the old-model meatbag without compromising his Master's integrity. The unusually strong Force bond presents an altogether new challenge for his assassination protocols and he's eager to overcome fresh obstacles – for purely hypothetical purposes, of course.

Atton

Atton and Bao-Dur: They tolerate each other, which is as good as things get with Atton. It's a sort of wary, untapped understanding that they've both done some shit and don't want to talk about it, and they've kind of got a personal issue with the other's war crimes (and that sure is a KotOR II sentence) but don't think it's worth it to drag it out. It could warm up into something friendlier if they ever hashed out an understanding – they have some crucial things in common and could really get each other in a way most of the crew couldn't – but it would take something big to get that talk to happen. Apart from the history, Bao-Dur thinks Atton is ridiculous and Atton thinks Bao-Dur is a stick in the mud and a gearhead, but they do trust each other to have the General's back. And that's the most important thing to both of them, so they get along all right.

Atton and Mira: They snipe at each other constantly, and get into more verbal brawls than anyone else, since they're both pretty chatty and not afraid to insert themselves into other people's business. But their relationship isn't as hostile as it looks from the outside, even if it has involved stolen equipment and at least one minor sonic charge being planted on the pilot's seat. They annoy the hell out of each other, but Atton is about as fond of Mira as he is of anyone who isn't the Exile. She's relatable without the traits that make him despise himself, and when they're on the job, the two of them often end up backing the same strategy, or spouting very unintentionally synchronized “oh, kriff no”s to someone else's, despite having no actual desire to agree with each other.* And Mira thinks Atton's an idiot, but he's a familiar kind of idiot, and he's good for a laugh (read: easy to wind up and create some on-demand performance art.)

(*For posterity's sake, group strategizing usually slices out like this: Atton, Mira, and Visas on Team Sneaky Fuckers; Brianna, Canderous, and HK-47 on Team Why Don't We Just Light The Place Up; and Mical and very occasionally Bao-Dur on Team I Am Very Concerned You Would Suggest That. Kreia would be a Sneaky Fucker but refuses to provide positive reinforcement to any of these cretins. Poor T3's contributions go nearly unnoticed due to half the crew not understanding Binary. G0-T0 vacillates between Sneaky Fuckery and systemic elimination of all obstacles depending on the situation, and for Hanharr, do you even have to ask?)

Atton and Brianna: They openly hate each other. Brianna thinks Atton is undisciplined and uncouth, Atton thinks the Handmaiden's a self-righteous bitch. The reason they really loathe each other instead of the usual 'just thinks that person is really annoying' is because they don't trust each other to have the Exile's best interests at heart – Atton thinks she's a spy and Brianna thinks he's a slimy, lying opportunist, and if she learns who he really is, that's going to get five times worse. Both of them have fantasized about kicking the other's ass at length, but Brianna has too much discipline to start a fight and Atton's worried that he might not come out on top. Killing her would be easy, but an honorable duel with a crazy Echani ice queen who spends every waking hour boxing air in her skivvies? No thanks.

Atton and Mical: Atton despises Mical on principle. Everything Mical does infuriates him, no matter how innocuous. Mical needs help in a firefight? Useless fop, don't know why we let him tag along. Mical heals Atton afterwards? Pushy asshole thinks he's better than me. Mical asks Atton to pass him the salt at breakfast? Get it yourself, you needy bastard. Mical looks in the Exile's direction? Die in a fire, Blondie. He drags him endlessly, coming up with a stream of excuses to hate him when the reality of it is that Atton's pissed that Mical is a better person than him in every single way, and has decided to react to that by resenting his existence rather than, y'know, trying to improve himself at all.

On the other side, Mical dislikes Atton - it would be very strange if he didn't - but he's patient and diplomatic, rarely rising to the bait and occasionally extending olive branches (which only serve to make Atton angrier and more unreasonable.) He wants Atton to work out his issues, because that in turn would be best for the Exile who cares for all of them, and also because he hopes that it might get him to improve his behavior. Of course, it'd be much simpler to drop Atton off on the next planet, but unfortunately he's already ruled out the possibility.

Atton and Visas: They don't interact much. Visas doesn't have any particular feelings about Atton; she trusts him because his feelings towards the Exile are clear and that's the only metric that matters to her. Atton doesn't care that she was Sith, it becomes obvious by like three days in that she's not a threat and the Handmaiden's full of it – it's her servility that creeps him out. It's that Jedi tendency to act like drones instead of people. He doesn't know what to do with that (he does, knows a lot about how to crack open their shells, but not in any way he wants to remember), so he keeps his distance. The sad thing about this is that they do have some big things in common; they're ex-Sith who lost all hope in the galaxy only to have it restored by the Exile, who they'd gladly die for because they don't value their own lives and because the Exile is so much greater than they could ever be. But I can't realistically see Atton taking his walls down for that conversation to happen. Visas can talk about her feelings but keeps to herself; Atton reacts to emotional honesty like a wet cat.

Atton and Canderous: Pretty hostile. Atton's not as overt about it as Bao-Dur (since his hate congealed in a different direction), but he has any veteran's grudge against the Mandalorians and doesn't love the idea of them reorganizing. Canderous has a thick hide when it comes to trading jabs, but he's less tolerant of anyone shit-talking his people and their honor, and you can bet Atton has made plenty of snipes from the relative safety of the Exile's favor. Atton eventually ends up crawling to the Exile to bail him out after Canderous calls him out on his bullshit and challenges him to throw hands, because he could kick Atton's ass in a brawl and Atton fully knows this but will not admit it.

Atton and T3-M4: T3-M4 has done nothing wrong in his life, ever, and Atton is proof that there is no fairness in the galaxy. T3 retaliates by inconveniencing Atton in endlessly small ways – colliding with him while he's carrying food, tweaking his laundry cycle to singe his clothes, constantly changing the astrogation system's access codes. And, of course, baiting him into pazaak only to crush him with his superior logic matrices. Atton brought all of this on himself and T3 would strongly consider stopping if Atton would only apologize and admit he has been very rude and mean. He doesn't.

Atton and HK-47: A flaming mess. Atton distrusts T3-M4, who is a cinnamon roll with a shock arm; now take his irrational hatred of droids, add in psychotic programming and an expressed desire to murder everyone on board, and you can be sure he's sleeping with his door locked. This is made worse because while HK-47 also hates Atton, he's very interested in his past as a fellow assassin and Jedi-hunter – irritated that Atton seems to have fallen prey to that insidious meatbag disease known as 'regret', but he has no desire to respect those boundaries and is highly curious about comparing their tactics and K-D ratios. Mostly because HK wants to express his clear superiority over his meatbag imitators, but also because there may be an opportunity to refine his craft. (If we're dealing with a DS Atton, they still hate each other, but it's because Atton is as disgusted by the idea of a droid doing his job as HK is of him. But you can expect a lot more open debate of torture tactics at the breakfast table.)

Bao-Dur

Bao-Dur and Mira: They don't have an awful lot in common, but they interact well enough. It's part because Bao-Dur is the king of the garage and Mira spends plenty of time in there, and part because Mira likes to poke people to see how they'll react (and at first, she really wants to know if the beefcake Zabrak does talk or if he just tinkers in the droid bay all day looking like a snack.) Bao-Dur's a wallflower but he can sass back with the best of them when prodded, and he's gotten involved with Mira's maintenance more than once - enough for Mira to grudgingly respect that damn, she runs a tight ship with her equipment but this guy knows what he's talking about.

Bao-Dur and Brianna: Unfortunately I can't really see these two coming together outside the field. They both keep to themselves in their spare time, and neither of them are the type to initiate conversations, so most of their talks have purely been strategy or reacting to situations as they happen. They're both pretty practical and goal-oriented people, so they don't clash. The one place these two intersect is Telos – Brianna is actually very impressed with Bao-Dur's work and considers him singularly skilled. If she expressed that, things might warm up a bit, though Bao-Dur definitely has some not-so-charitable thoughts about why a Jedi Master was sitting around stealing power from Telos's already strained grid instead of helping with the restoration efforts in any way.

Bao-Dur and Mical: They get on quite well. Bao-Dur's more of an introvert while Mical likes to strike up conversations, but they're the two most Republic-positive people on the Hawk and they're both appreciative of the other's work, which is a good foundation. Mical definitely has questions about Bao-Dur's extensive experience with Telos on his studies of worlds sickened by the Wars, which is a topic Bao-Dur has a direct interest in – he'd hoped to branch out before the Telos Project started going sour. They've had plenty of problem-solving brainstorming sessions, even if their musings in their respective fields tend to go way over the other's head. I was also gonna bring up that they both think the world of the Exile and find endless inspiration in their actions, but that's kind of true for everyone in KotOR II: The Simp Lords. Still, it's those two and Visas who are the least afraid about expressing it.

Bao-Dur and Visas: They go for a long time without crossing paths, but they've got plenty in common – they're fundamentally gentle people who struggle with feelings of despair and anger borne of PTSD, and they both appreciate solitude to center themselves without actually having a real desire to self-isolate. I could see them taking up a companionable silence one day on the Hawk while the others are off adventuring, and in time coming to meditate or simply exist together. They've both got a planet's worth of trauma on their shoulders and they could forge a strong connection if one of them ever reached out.

Bao-Dur and Canderous: Bad, bad, bad. Bao-Dur's deal is self-explanatory – he hates the Mandalorians with an all-consuming fervor, to the point where he's uncomfortable with himself, and Mandalore's presence on the ship just drags it all out into the open. And Canderous doesn't understand this, or the depths of Bao-Dur's PTSD; he sees a skilled warrior who was instrumental in his people's defeat, which he's been taught not to personally resent. So, y'know, there's nothing stopping him from dropping by and striking up a chat between two old warriors. And he figures out real quick that Bao-Dur's the type that holds a grudge, but I don't think he can really grasp just how deep it goes. In Canderous's world, if you've got a problem, you brawl it out. Bao-Dur could only begin to find common ground with a Mandalorian if he was shown some remorse, which just isn't going to happen. Now make it not just any Mandalorian but their leader, this symbol for everything he despises, who loudly intends to reunite his scattered thugs and murderers for the next great war? Yeah. It's bad.

Bao-Dur and T3-M4: They have a rocky start, since T3 really doesn't like that suggestion of a memory wipe. But Bao-Dur's not going to press if this mouthy Astromech is that opposed to it, and if I had to peg one guy on the KotOR II Hawk who sees droids as fully-fledged people, it's gonna be him every time. The Remote talks up Bao-Dur enough for T3 to trust him with some maintenance, and it leads to a gorgeous heat sink on his processors and the smoothest treads of his life. It doesn't take long for Bao-Dur to become T3's favorite, second to the Exile. T3 repeatedly rants to Bao-Dur about all the incredibly annoying and illogical things the organics on this ship get up to. Bao-Dur chuckles, agrees with everything, and never breathes a word of it to anyone else.

Bao-Dur and HK-47: HK-47 is a one-of-a-kind piece of machinery, but Bao-Dur could really do without the cutting remarks. If he has to hear 'Insincere Placation' one more time, he's kicking him out of the garage. And if it's not the disparaging comments about his skills as a mechanic, it's the frankly disturbing homicidal musings. Bao-Dur wonders if programming a droid to be this single-mindedly murderous constitutes abuse. HK, for his part, does come to respect Bao-Dur's skills, and has very good reason to fear self-proclaimed mechanics after a low-repair amnesiac Revan did unspeakable things with a hydrospanner. But his friendly musings about the laudable efficiency of the slaughter at Malachor V and the truly impressive galactic implications of all that death did not produce the enlightening discussion he'd hoped for.

Mira

Mira and Brianna: Mira first saw the Handmaiden from afar when she was stalking the Exile on Nar Shaddaa. They meet properly when Mira's poking around the ship, and okay, yeah, Mira sees why this girl fought like a dancer with that electrostaff – she spends all her time training. Like, does she even know what fun is? An intervention is necessary. In her efforts to get the Handmaiden out of her shell, Mira drags her out of the cargo hold for anything she can think of – the latest gossip on the Ebon Hawk, girl talk, drinks, blaster practice, an improvised dartboard with a picture of Kreia taped over it. Brianna really doesn't know what to do with this attention at first, and she's very put off. But Mira refuses to let her be awkward, and... even if all these customs are foreign to her, she finds she does enjoy being sought out? By the end of the game, those two are tight-knit. Mira's eventually the one who teaches Brianna how sarcasm works, something which Brianna wields with terrifying precision.

Mira and Mical: Mira's decent enough to the guy, but with a distinctly condescending flair. The Disciple is like a pet, maybe – cute, harmless, and doesn't do anything useful as far as she can tell. Well, that's not strictly true, because he's good for getting Atton to act like a ronto in heat, but she doubts the Exile keeps him on for that. They've squabbled before on missions when Mical had an issue with laying out a minefield on civilian turf (they were just flashbangs and stunners, dammit, what does he take her for?) or thought talking to a bunch of crime kingpins would work. Still, he's nice to look at if you can tune him out.

Mira and Visas: Mira tries to draw this one out of her shell, too, but with much less success. It's part because Brianna really hates Visas and Mira doesn't get their Jedi crap enough to work out whatever this spat is, so Girls' Night dies before it ever has a chance to become tradition. The other half is because Visas barely reacts to anything Mira does – she'll never refuse her company, but she seems indifferent to everything Mira tries to engage her with. It makes Mira sad, and also really uncomfortable, and she eventually gives up for fear that she's just dragging around someone who doesn't know how to say no to her. (This wasn't strictly the case. Visas is terrible at enforcing boundaries, but she generally didn't mind – just didn't really understand what was expected of her. Aimless chatter is a luxury she had to relearn. On the whole, just being on this ship that teemed with life and determination instead of draining them was often enough for her, and she spent many hours feeling and observing the others from afar.) But Mira doesn't stop watching Visas, and she's relieved when other members of the crew, and of course their fearless leader, connect with her in their own ways.

Mira and Canderous: Man, this one gets complex. Mira loves to pretend that she's over her past, and she's super not. The Mandalorians are the only family she remembered. It was screwed up on a lot of levels and she understands that better now than she did then, but... she knew who she was when she was one of them. Dreamed of being one for real someday, before Malachor ended everything. So finding the hidden enclave on Dxun stirred up a lot of mixed feelings. She keeps her distance from Canderous, but she's drawn to him anyway. It's Mandalore, a legend brought to life, of course she's curious – that's normal, right? And maybe one day he offhandedly comments that she handled something like a Mandalorian, and it means the world to her and she's not prepared for it, at all, and she tries to play it cool but ends up spilling that she halfway was one. And they swap stories for a long time after that. She doesn't take him up on his offer of returning to Dxun with him, but she feels a sense of completion, maybe closure, that it was made. Canderous obfuscates it, because no one will accuse him of going soft, but he's fond of that girl. She's got real fight in her.

Mira and T3-M4: For a while, they don't really interact, but Mira's eagle eye eventually catches that many of the inconvenient accidents on board the Hawk coincide with a little Astromech whirring by moments before disaster. Which is concerning, but also really funny, given that the usual butt of the joke is either Atton or HK-47. So she does what she does best and gets involved – either she gets a piece of the action or she's busting his operation. T3 promptly pops out eight pieces of weaponry she didn't realize a utility droid could have mounts for, wheels her over to a holoscreen, leverages her right back with the secret stash she keeps under the docking ramp panel, and recruits her wholesale. Everyone those two dislike proceeds to have a very frustrating week. She doesn't understand Binary, so they can only ever talk when T3 plugs himself in and types, but damn, Mira thought she had a mouth but that droid is sassy. Scrappy little fucker runs the ship from the shadows - she's staying on his good side.

Mira and HK-47: Mira tries very hard to pretend that HK doesn't unnerve the hell out of her. She's seen those things in action and she's not entirely convinced this one isn't a plant that's going to drill them in the back once some unknown trigger is tripped. HK-47 is deeply offended by the accusation – less that he would murder them all if he could, and more that Mira can't recognize how his abundance of personality and far more intimidating looks set him apart from his mass-produced copycats.

Brianna

Brianna and Mical: In-game, they can't ever interact, but I like to imagine that all six of the Lost Jedi come along with the Exile. These two have an awkward start – she's a soldier trained not to question while he's a historian who does nothing but. Mical has some questions about Atris that'll get Brianna's hackles up, and she'll want nothing to do with him for a while after that. But as she travels with the Exile, she'll come to realize that he's right; Atris's actions run counter to her spoken principles, and the Exile is a truer expression of the Jedi teachings despite having been cast from the Order. They'll coalesce most post-game, when Brianna sets aside her single-minded dedication to combat to become an archivist. Mical has plenty of interest in helping her with Atris's salvaged collection and disseminating the information within.

Brianna and Visas: Visas is demure and respectful – Brianna bites her head off every time she speaks up. It's a mess. Brianna's been raised with an incredibly black-and-white, fear-based set of views on the Jedi. There's no redemption for Sith in Atris's academy, only punishment and execution. The Exile skated by Atris's conditioning with their Force magnetism, and to a lesser extent, their similarities to Yusanis – Visas is not so lucky. Brianna's jealousy isn't strictly romantic in nature, though. The way I see it, it has more to do with her deep-seated feelings of abandonment and never being good enough no matter how hard she works. She thought she and the Exile were forging something special, that the Exile saw something in her that no one else had (and maybe that was even true, maybe she does have potential), and then they went off to gallivant with a Sith. She feels cheapened, replaced – maybe even scorned, if the Exile sees her the same way, as something broken and wrong to be fixed. And she can justify it to herself with what Atris taught her instead of actually confronting her own feelings. So it becomes a mantra: Visas is a Sith, she cannot be trusted, and all the time the Exile spends with her is time for her to sink her hooks into their mind.

I would like to think, on a LS run (as a mirror to what happens on a DS one), when Kreia tricks Brianna into despair and she subsequently discovers Atris's corruption, that Brianna has an epiphany – that she was watching for enemies in the wrong places, and that Atris's teachings had blinded her to what was evident in Visas's stance, if only she'd been able to accept what she saw. And by the time they band together on Malachor, they've buried the hatchet. Visas accepts this heartfelt apology readily – she never held a grudge even when Brianna was snarling at her daily. Post-game they become quite close. They understand plenty about what it means to dedicate yourself to someone out of desperation and out of inspiration, and they more than anyone else on the crew share the Exile lifting them up and setting them free. And they share their strengths – Brianna passes on her knowledge of combat now that she's ready to set it aside, and at her behest, Visas spends the time to teach her to see through the Force so that she'll never be blinded to others' hearts again.

Brianna and Canderous: Brianna's wary of Mandalore and disagrees stridently with him on philosophy – they agree on fealty and discipline, but discussing the purpose of combat has led to some raised voices and a few worried (or popcorn-crunching) eavesdroppers. But they do respect each other as fellow warriors. They've sparred a few times, even if Canderous refused to remove his raiment in a minor bit of tradition-crossroads. Canderous even lost a round or two, which he is damn impressed by but privately worries about for weeks later. He's getting old.

Brianna and T3-M4: Brianna largely ignores T3-M4. This is probably a good thing, since T3 holds a grudge from when she stole the Ebon Hawk and delivered him to Atris, where he had a very unpleasant time of things. He was not happy to see her board the ship yet again, and kept a close optic on her for a while. Eventually he decided she was unlikely to repeat offend, and she at least doesn't make a mess of the ship like some organics, but the beeps and boops he uses to address her are not especially polite ones.

Brianna and HK-47: Brianna cannot fathom why the Exile reactivated the assassin droid, and once it starts talking, she really doesn't understand why they keep it around. This is mostly because it's clearly a psychotic tool of war, the kind of single-mindedly bloodthirsty creation Atris always accused the Exile of being, and its company is... unbefitting for the hero she's come to know. But also, and she stubbornly refuses to admit this to herself, she's frustrated that the Exile thinks they need more firepower on the battlefield. Isn't she good enough for them?

Mical

Mical and Visas: They get along very well. They start interacting early on, when Visas first joins the crew and has all kinds of old untreated injuries that need tending. After the medbay visits taper off, the meditation visits start. Mical's curious about Sith philosophy and techniques and Visas is pretty much the most tailor-fitted discussion partner the galaxy could have possibly given him on those topics. Visas is dubious of Mical's own views, particularly that he clings to them when he's seen so many things that undermine them and readily admits this, but over her travels with the Exile comes to appreciate his steadfast optimism more. They're both very gentle people and Mical could do wonders in shoring up Visas's lost faith – a favor Visas pays back in full when Kreia betrays the team and leaves Mical to the horrifying realization that the Force is decaying around the Exile. She feels his distress and seeks him out, invites him to meditate together as he so often approached her, and repeats the words he always insisted upon – no matter how fraught it seems, there is always hope.

Mical and Canderous: When Mandalore joins the team, Mical's immediate concern is the Exile's mental health. Bao-Dur has clearly been doing poorly since Dxun and it's hardly a secret the Exile shares much of the same trauma. He keeps to the background and watches carefully, his own few interactions with the man being brusque and dismissive. Carth is... concerned, to say the least, when Mical reports of a new Mandalore; it gets interesting when Mical's next transmission contains some footage. Much like the player, it doesn't take Carth long to pick up on the fact that Mandalore's voice is just Canderous's through some filters. This is how poor Mical ends up as the go-between between two old frenemies, passing notes back and forth like he's stuck at the middle desk. That said, he's greatly relieved that their Mandalorian contact is on the up and up; he would not question the Exile's decisions, but did worry about what might come of them until it became clear this was all the work of the Force.

Mical and T3-M4: They first met when Mical requested to see the records of the Exile's trial. T3-M4 was wary of the request, but organics who are actually courteous to utility droids are a rarity, and Mical eventually won him over without having to fetch the Exile for proof. Once T3 finds out that Mical has connections with Carth Onasi, they're fast friends and occasional coworkers, though there's a bit of friction involved because you know Carth would have told him to fish for any information on Revan's whereabouts, and T3 can't talk, as much as he'd like to reunite his old (and new!) friends.

Mical and HK-47: Of all the unfortunate meatbags HK-47 must share the ship with, it is the Republic one who clearly has the least merit. He has tried to convince his Master why a bit of target practice is necessary to keep his assassination protocols from degrading in the monotony of hyperspace travel, but for some reason truly unparseable to his processors, he has repeatedly been denied on this front. On Mical's part, HK-47 is a firm reminder of Darth Revan's character whenever his musings about their war strategy start becoming too favorable.

Visas

Visas and Canderous: It's so wild to me that I would have never known anything was here at all, if those legends over at TSLRCM hadn't brought back all of those Visas-Canderous interactions on the Ravager. Like, Visas forcing him to keep on fighting after a gravely wounded Canderous tells them to leave him behind, that he's not useful anymore... Hello?? My girl came full circle???

I don't know how much these two coincided before the end of the game, because they are exceptionally different people. Visas tends to hang in the background, and I doubt Canderous spared the Miraluka in the aft dorm that much thought beyond “damn, they make Sith different than they used to.” But there are no words to express how Visas felt when destiny called them back to Telos and not a single one of the crew balked in the face of her Master – and nowhere did that sentiment land harder than Canderous, who mustered an army to stop a second Katarr and walked with her to face her nightmare in person. (It wasn't for a lack of will on the others' part, and I suspect many of them were strident about wanting to join. In a lot of cases, the two-party restriction comes down to game mechanics; here, it's that Nihilus would have straight-up eaten anyone else. Visas was the only Force-Sensitive he wouldn't, the Exile was the only one he couldn't.) She's well aware it wasn't a personal favor, but the reasons pale in the reality of it; she had believed nothing could stand before her Master, and together, Canderous and the Exile proved her wrong. And Canderous is forced to reassess Visas afterwards, once he's done licking his wounds and kicking himself for a lapse in resolve so bad a Sith had to haul him up and tell him to get moving. Which is where he got it wrong; a Sith she is not, but that girl's got beskar in her, especially if she survived that long as that thing's apprentice.

Visas and T3-M4: At first, T3-M4 is quite cross about being overloaded via the Force and the attempt on his new Master's life. But the immediate request of termination is... concerning, and observing the following chain of events leads T3 to suspect that she'd been given orders that went against her core motivators, something T3 is distressingly familiar with. He observes Visas for a bit longer – he developed a number of protocols regarding Sith in his formative months - but soon deems them irrelevant once he's mapped her behavioral patterns and found them quite agreeable, if perhaps more cloistered than strictly recommended.

His initial diagnostic of conflicting orders seems correct, and T3 enacts a policy of friendliness in simpatico. Whenever ship maintenance takes him towards the aft dormitory, he brings her little things like Atton's share of dessert or interesting lightsaber parts from Bao-Dur's workshop. Visas is at first convinced that the Exile has simply programmed the droid to attend to her in their doomed quest to save her, but at some point she comments on it and discovers they genuinely have no idea what she's talking about. She does not know what to do with this information, but is immensely moved by the little droid. As a being without presence in the Force, Visas sometimes has difficulty perceiving his movements; when she admitted this, T3 developed a policy of emitting a low-volume sound pattern in her presence.

Visas and HK-47: HK was very excited when a Sith joined the crew - still irritated that his Master didn't simply dispatch the assassin like any being in possession of functioning logic circuits, but hoping that perhaps this was his chance to witness and partake in some real carnage. He ends up despairing when Visas ends up just as soft as the rest of them. She even eventually retracts her statement that all life exists for the purpose of being systemically extinguished! The Exile is a truly distressing influence.

Canderous

Canderous and T3-M4: Canderous affectionately calls T3-M4 a hunk of junk. T3-M4 affectionately calls him an obsolete model propped up with bulky life support mods. The little trash can's grown a spine since he last saw him – that, and Revan clearly taught him some creative curses while they were out on the edge of space. Canderous will never admit this and will lie through his teeth if accused, but he misses the old crew dearly – now more than ever that he's back on the Ebon Hawk. Having the droids around is an old, comfortable bit of nostalgia.

Canderous and HK-47: Canderous might be the only non-Revan meatbag HK-47 actually likes. It's mutual – HK's a fine soldier and an unreal shot with a scoped rifle, even if he's looking a little worse for wear these days. HK frequently seeks out Canderous to complain about the inconsistent and highly inefficient moral codes so many of these meatbags seem to possess. “Jedi,” Canderous agrees. He'd think a bunch of war veterans, particularly the type with a history of blowing up planets, would spend a little less time plucking loth cats out of trees and take a little more initiative with the armies of people trying to kill them, but he figures you can't take the Jedi out of the Revanchist. At least they're not boring.

T3-M4

T3-M4 and HK-47: Revan's two old droids are not friends. It's like a cat and a dog (or maybe a kitten and a grizzled bobcat) fighting over their Master's affection, except their Master left for milk a while ago and the only thing left to squabble about is who was more useful. Mutual accusations of obsoletion abound. T3 is very smug that HK spent a chunk of Revan's travels deactivated while he was present all along; HK, who is incredibly pissy that he was not involved in the grand plan and the game of cover-your-tracks that followed, never fails to point out that somehow, T3 failed so immensely that Revan saw fit to dismiss them both and carry on without backup, and that he at least does not have such a blatant error in judgment on his record. Add in that T3's tenure of the ship has involved hijackings and total crew pacification by a Sith warship, an Echani saboteur, and a band of slavers, and it's wholly understandable that this new Master decided they needed a more reliable droid.

It frequently comes down to HK-47 threatening the jumped-up Astromech with termination while T3-M4 smugly dangles the metaphorical car keys in his face.

G0-T0

I'm putting the crimeball in his own category because G0-T0 has remarkably one-note relationships with everyone and there isn't enough to say. It's really simple; they don't want him around and he doesn't want to deal with them. The only one worth any note is Mira, who he has identified as a reliable agent and a potential asset when it comes to delegating side jobs. She's proven capable of bringing in targets alive, which is a directive he's had some trouble with in the past. Mira's wary of having a major Exchange boss a few doors down from where she lays her head, but less on principle and more that she'll get caught in some conflicting-employers spat. And she wouldn't say no to some credits as long as the job didn't go against her sensibilities.

There's another exception with HK-47, because some of the restored content implies he and G0-T0 had a history – but personally I do not know what to make of this, because their timelines do not line up and it doesn't come up later, leaving me to think it was a dropped plotline like Kreia zapping T3 or Kaevee and the holocrons. I'd like to do something with this, but there isn't enough for me to go on. About as much as I can say is that HK-47 is quite cross at this comically rotund intruder for bobbing onto his base of operations and attempting to dictate orders when any being in possession of optics can tell his Master is clearly the one in charge, and for not having the decency to invade his ship without a fail-deadly detonator baked into his circuitry. But really, anyone who had employed so many of his sub-standard clones and established the galactic reputation of HK units as bounty hunters was going to fall pretty hard on HK-47's shitlist.

Bao-Dur has strongly considered 'accidentally' damaging some vital components when G0-T0 seeks him out for maintenance. The Remote is a very enthusiastic ball-shaped devil on his shoulder.

Unfortunately, I can't comment on Hanharr since I've never played with him, even on the one time I forced myself into a Dark Side run. But the vibe I get is pretty similar to the above; nearly all of the crew would stay well away, with HK being the only one actually enthused at the prospect of having him around. But I don't know Hanharr well enough to tell if that could even be mutual or if he's just furious with everything.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

hey! if you’re still doing prompts—i saw how you said that you take on any ships sort of like a challenge and everything so may i offer you this incredible crackship: douglass/harding in which harding catches him with his ridiculous amount of rubbers and teaches him how to actually use it right

ignore this if u want, or change the ship if u prefer :)

[This grew feelings. I blame feelings.]

Douglass is on his third "welcome back from the dead" whiskey when Colonel Harding comes up to him at the bar and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Sir," Douglass greets.

"How you feeling, Douglass?" Harding asks. He's got a whiskey in his own hand, his cigar in the same hand. His hand lingers for another moment on Douglass's shoulder, then he takes his hand away so he can retrieve his cigar and take a drag. 

"Some bumps and bruises," Douglass says, "but the cuts are the worst of it, Sir."

Harding nods. "Good. Glad to hear it. He leans a little closer, his shoulder brushing Douglass's for a moment. "I do have a question regarding your personal effects, though."

"What's that, Sir?" Douglass asks. 

"Why in the hell do you have so many goddamn prophylactics in your footlocker?"

Douglass snorts whiskey up his nose. Harding gives him one sharp smack on the back as he wheezes. His vision and airways clear after a couple of moments, and he realizes they have an audience. Crosby and Blakely and Hambone and a few others. "Well, Sir," he says, and flashes Harding his most winning smile, "it's been awhile since I had leave."

The boys laugh, and Harding smirks as he sips his whiskey. "For fuck's sake, Douglass, pick a pretty face and get your dick wet before we can float your damn footlocker back to the States after the war."

Douglass leads the laughter this time. "Yes, Sir," he says. "If that's an order, I'll see if I can't trick Blakely right here into a little something tonight."

"I'm still not over the clap you gave me last time," Blakely retorts, which causes even more laughing. 

"Hell, I assumed he just never wears a rubber because the social disease eats through 'em before he even gets started," Hambone adds. 

As the boys keep roasting Douglass, he cuts a quick look to Harding, who takes another sip of his whiskey, then taps his glass three times. Douglass nods once, and Harding steps back away, giving them their space to celebrate again.

"I don't know how you kept laughing like that after the Colonel busted you for those rubbers," Crosby says a few minutes later. "I think I'd have drowned myself in my drink."

"That's where you and I are different, Croz," Douglass says, giving Crosby's a little shake. "I <em>glory</em> in being a pervert. You prefer to keep it between you and the missus," he waits for Crosby to take a sip of his drink before he adds, "And Bubbles."

Crosby spits out his drink. "He <em>told</em>?" he hisses.

Douglass stares. "No!" he says. He covers his mouth. "Holy shit, really?"

"Oh, god," Crosby says. 

"Hey, look, first of all, you know no one fucking cares, right?" Douglass asks. "Wait. I remembered who I'm talking to. So, okay, first of all, Croz, no one fucking cares. We're the fuckingest and suckingest base in the whole fucking ETO. But also, good for you. And Jean. And Bubbles, honestly. If it works, it works."

"I have to go throw myself into an engine," Crosby mutters, putting his hands over his face. "We're gonna–Jean wants to tell her family first, so there's no surprises."

"What? Like a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Crosby?"

Crosby stares at him through his fingers. Douglass heaves a huge sigh. "Okay, that's a yes. So, look, I'm gonna go get your man to come and talk you down from this ledge, and then I'm gonna shut my fucking mouth until the two of you say a fucking word about it, got me?" 

"You love gossip," Crosby says. 

"Oh, I sure do," Douglass agrees. "But you're not the only one trying to figure out when to make a relationship official." Crosby glances at Blakely, which makes Douglass snort. "Nah. Love him like a brother." Crosby looks at Hambone. "Tried it. He bites harder than I like." Douglass watches as Crosby's eyes get impossibly wider. 

"Wait," Crosby whispers. "The Colonel and your foot locker and–"

"Yup," Douglass says, and it's nice to say it to someone, even if Crosby looks like he wants to crawl under the table and never talk to a human being ever again. "So, I know what you're up to, and you know what I'm up to, and we'll both keep our mouths shut until otherwise notified, yeah?"

"Yeah,' Crosby says. He clears his throat and sits up straight, dropping his hands from his face. "I mean, yeah. Obviously. You can trust me."

"I know," Douglass replies. It's true. Crosby's an overthinker, but he only talks too much about his own shit, not anyone else's. "Feel free to tell Bubbles if you want. Only seems fair."

"So, you're gonna tell–" Crosby presses his fingers to his mouth. "It's fine," he says after a moment. "I trust you, too."

"Great." Douglass stands and gives Crosby a grin, then walks over to Bubbles, who's caught in a conversation with a couple other navigators. Douglass doesn't know how the man is managing not to be at Crosby's right arm right now, but he supposes everyone's different when they witness a resurrection. "Crosby needs to talk to you, and for the record, I apologize if he's a little incoherent."

Bubbles gives him a look but doesn't ask, just walks over to Crosby. Douglass watches as Crosby whispers in Bubbles's ear, then watches Bubbles react without words, simply staring like Crosby must be crazy. Crosby nods sharply, and Bubbles laughs, then shrugs, then whispers something back to Crosby that has him laughing, too. 

Yeah, Douglass thinks as he slips out the door of the officer's club, those two and Jean will do just fine. 

He takes his time walking to his destination. He's going to be incredibly early when he gets there no matter, but it feels good to have the air on his face after what he's been through. The fear when they were hit, the crash, the sitting around and waiting for someone who could help them. Then coming back and finding out everyone had thought he'd died. Which, he doesn't blame them for assuming. Everyone saw them losing altitude in a fire fight. He'd have assumed the same. 

But still. 

He looks up at the sky, watching the patchy clouds move for a few seconds before he breathes out hard and looks towards his destination. It's Chick's hut, set a few yards behind the control tower. The lights are on, and Chick's outside, leaning next to the door and staring at the sky like Douglass just was. Douglass gives a low whistle, and Chick meets his gaze. He's mostly done with his cigar, but the ember is still bright on the end, and it shows him the upturned corner of Chick's mouth. 

"I said thirty minutes," Chick greets. 

"Didn't want to wait," Douglass replies. He doesn't stop walking until he can feel the warmth of Chick's body. He's usually a little more careful even though no one ever wanders this way at this time of day. Any possible interest in fucking on, in, or near the control tower is immediately doused by the fact that the CO's hut is within hearing distance. 

Chick takes the last drag of his cigar, and Douglass goes up on his toes, lifting his chin and opening his mouth. Chick holds his chin as he breathes the smoke against his lips, and Douglass feels wild and settled in equal measure. "Come on," Chick says, then just barely touches their mouths together. 

Douglass wants to grab him by his blouse and hold him still while he kisses him until neither of them remember their names. But he remembers their ranks, so he lets Chick open the door and gesture him inside. 

Chick's hut is as classically masculine as he is. A leather couch and chair in front of the wood stove. Simple, dark green curtains on the windows. A small table and two wooden chairs bought from a craftsman in the village next to a low bookcase full of novels and classics. The bed–an actual, real bed–done up in military green with a proper nightstand and dresser but tucked behind a wooden privacy screen that matches the table and chairs. His footlocker acts as the coffee table in front of the couch. There's a single bulb lighting up the whole hut from the middle, but there's also a standing lamp in one corner, angled to reflect the most light from the rafters of the hut, brightening the whole space.

"I thought about this," Douglass says as he looks around the space and notices the changes from just the last few days. There's clean laundry on one of the wooden chairs, and a brand new book on the footlocker. It has a bookmark in it. Chick hasn't gotten very far. 

"Thought about what?" Chick asks. He walks over to the bookcase. The top of it also serves as a small bar area. He opens the whiskey and pours a double-shot into two glasses, then carries them over to Douglass. 

"This," Douglass says, taking the glass with a nod. "The couch. The fire. Your books." He waggles his eyebrows at Chick. "Your bed."

Chick snorts. "Cheeky."

Douglass purses his lips in a kiss. "You've never complained. Not in here, at least."

Chick gives Douglass a considering look, then steps in close. "You were thinking of my quarters while you were crashing?" he asks. 

"Yeah," Douglass says. They've never said much about their relationship, not even to each other. But he's nearly died and was then presumed dead, and then walked back in to a resurrection welcome, and well, that makes a man consider things. "I was scared shitless, and I wanted to think of something safe." 

"Jim, goddamnit," Chick says, looking shattered. "You can't just say that sort of thing without warning." But there's a shaky smile at the corner of his mouth. 

"Well, our navigator shouldn't have steered us into a fucking tree, but here I am," Douglass replies, and the surprised laugh from Chick makes him feel good. 

Chick holds up his glass. "To making it back," he says. "I'm fucking glad."

"Me, too," Douglass agrees, and they tap their glasses together. He takes a sip of the whiskey, then steps forward so he can wrap an arm around Chick's waist. "Now," he says, "let's talk about why you know how many rubbers are in my foot locker."

"I do the final sign off on the inventory slips," Chick says. "I don't usually even read them. Kidd signs off before me, and I know he does. I'm just the final bit of red tape to get them sent. But…" He pauses for a long moment, but he doesn't look away from Douglass. Douglass doesn't look away from him. "I know some things about you, but I wondered what I was about to miss. So, I read it." 

Douglass can't help his chuckle. "And there they were. 200 rubbers."

Chick grins, wide and pleased, the way Douglass always tries to make him grin when they're together. "204, actually."

Douglass throws his head back and laughs. Chick cups the back of his neck like he doesn't want him to get too far away. "They <em>counted</em>?" he says. 

"Wouldn't want anyone to think we stole your rubbers," Chick replies. He leans down and kisses Douglass's Adam's apple. 

Douglass shivers and feels his knees go weak. "Chick," he whispers. Chick mouths his Adam's apple, and Douglass nearly drops his glass. "Fuck." A dragging kiss from his Adam's apple up his throat, across the underside of his chin, then onto his mouth. Douglass's whole body goes tight and wild, and then Chick slips his tongue into Douglass's mouth, and a hint of cigar smoke comes with it, and it's all Douglass can do not to tumble to the floor. 

Chick pulls away, but he keeps his hand on the back of Douglass's head. "Drink your whiskey. I'm taking you to bed."

Douglass nods, lets out a shaky breath, and slams his drink. He wouldn't usually. Chick's personal preference is above and beyond anything in the officer's club, but Chick is staring at him like he plans to eat him alive, and Jesus Christ, he's fucking <em>alive</em>.

Chick throws back his own drink, then takes Douglass's glass and sets them both on the footlocker. He turns back to Douglass and reels him in by the belt, kissing him messy and desperate, his dick hard against Douglass's own through their trousers. 

"Race you," Chick mumbles, and Douglass laughs as they shove each other away at the same time and see who ends up naked first. For all the difference in rank, it's the same amount of clothes, but Douglass has never actually beaten Chick at this silly game and doesn't mind that he loses now. 

"Come here," Chick says, stepping back towards the couch. He sits and reaches for Douglass, pulling him onto his lap. "Let me check on you."

Douglass bites back the urge to say he's fine. He is, really, but they've been doing this awhile, and Chick is just the type to check on bumps and bruises. "I told you," he says because he can't be silent on the matter, "the worst of it is on my face."

Chick makes a considering sound and lightly touches the bruises on Douglass's ribs. He finds the ones on his legs, and his chest, the little knot on his shoulder where he'd slipped and jammed into the bomb site. When he presses, Douglass hisses, and Chick pulls him in so he can kiss where he's caused pain. 

"Softie," Douglass murmurs against Chick's ear. 

Chick smacks his hip, which makes Douglass laugh, and then he checks the rest of the bruises. Once he's satisfied Douglass is just fine, he grabs Douglass's ass in both hands and squeezes hard. "How do you want it?" he asks. 

"How do you want it?" Douglass replies. Chick's fingers dig in, one finger just brushing his hole. Douglass arches forward and bites Chick's lower lip. Chick responds by smacking his hip again. 

"I don't want to hurt you, but I want to give you whatever you want," Chick says, mouth pressed against Douglass's ear. "I always want to give you what you want."

Douglass groans and presses his lips against Chick's temple. "Fuck me," he says. "Fuck me so long and hard I feel fucking alive."

Chick holds Douglass's face in his hands and stares into his eyes for a long, unstoppable moment. "You're alive, Jim."

Douglass feels something tight and hot tie up in his chest, and all he can do is nod. Chick presses his thumbs to the corners of Douglass's mouth, and then the corners of his eyes, and then he drops his hands to Douglass's thighs just under his ass and stands up from the couch, Douglass held secure in his grip. 

And the fear and terror and death wipe away, and he's Jim again. Chick's Jim. Because his parents call him James, and his friends call him Jimmy, and brothers' in arms call him Douglass. And it's Chick, only Chick who calls him Jim. And Chick's name is Neil, but it's not. Not to Jim. Who saw him in a London pub two days before Harding showed up as Thorpe's Abbot CO and said, "My name's Neil, but my call sign's Chick," and Douglass, bombardier to Blakely's pilot, had laughed that of all the men to meet that night, he'd met a fucking pilot.

Chick lays him on the bed and nuzzles his neck, then his chest, then his belly. He grips Jim's thighs hard before he pushes them open, and Jim arches his back at the way the touch goes through him. 

Chick splays a hand wide on Jim's chest before reaching over to the side table. Jim touches Chick's jaw before he can move more and uses a single finger under his chin to lead him up to his mouth. 

They share a shivery kiss, Jim cheating by licking the corner of Chick's mouth, which always drives him wild, and then Chick breaks aways. He comes back for one more, brief kiss, and then he actually turns his head like he has to or else he'll just kiss Jim again.

Jim tilts his chin upwards and smiles at the rafters in the ceiling. His skin is buzzing with <em>being alive</em>, and then Chick drops the open tin of Vaseline next to Jim's ribs, and he arches in anticipation of what's next. 

Chick isn't coy. He rubs two fingers over Jim's hole in a rough caress, and then works both fingertips in at the same time. Jim gasps and grunts, then grabs tight at Chick's wrist before he can pull out. Chick grins, leaning down to kiss Jim's stomach, and then works his fingers in another inch.

"Fucking take me, Sir," Jim says, then laughs when Chick uses his free hand to drag his nails down Jim's thigh. "You're so fucking easy," Jim adds and pushes himself up with his arms. Chick shifts his weight and lifts his hand off Jim's thigh so can can wrap his arm around Jim's lower back and hold him in place for a hot, desperate kiss as he pushes his fingers in another inch. 

Jim sees stars and grabs Chick's bicep. His other hand he uses to cup Chick's face and deepen their kiss. 

They spend several minutes kissing, Chick methodically working his fingers deeper into Jack. When his fingertips press hard on Jim's prostate, he whines and falls back onto the bed. He clenches his muscles around Chick's fingers and groans loudly when Chick leans down to drag his stubble along Jim's dick.

"Please," Jim grits out, pulling at Chick's hair because he can cup his head and clench his fingers. 

Chick chuckles and kisses Jim's slit. "Not enough for you?" His voice is a delicious rumble, low and vibrating. 

But Jim's not easily swayed into admitting what he wants. "I've got 204 rubbers in my footlocker," he says. "I can find someone." He laughs and jerks when Chick rubs against his prostate with unquestionable intent, then pulls his fingers out with perfect roughness. 

"Don't you dare," Chick growls.

Jim watches Chick scoop up Vaseline and grease up his dick. "Well, get on with it," he goads as the fact that he's alive sings across his nerves and Chick's sharp, threatening look of getting fucked into the ground heightens the feeling of it all. 

Chick grabs Jim's hips and lifts him into his lap. He lets go of Jim's left hip for just enough time to line his dick up with Jim's hole, and then he pushes in, hissing through his teeth as Jim grunts and reaches out to grab Chick's forearms and keep him as close as possible as Chick starts to fuck him hard and deep and beautiful. 

Jim pants as Chick fucks him, staring into his eyes as Chick refuses to look away. Jim feels taken apart in a same but different way as he was contemplating his mortality the day before in the fort. The adrenaline is the same. The want is different. Dropping to his death the day before, the want was to survive. Being fucked now, Chick leaning forward with his arms on either side of Jim's head, Jim wants to survive and survive and <em>survive</em>. 

He groans, and it turns into a sound he's never made in his life. A combination of being alive and needing to know he's alive and feeling in every pore how alive he is. Chick sucks hard at his Adam's apple, then kisses his neck and his cheek and finally his mouth. 

"Come on," Chick says into Jim's mouth. "Make a mess."

Jim grabs Chick's shoulders and holds on. He presses his hips upward and whines when Chick grabs his ass and holds him in place so his cock rubs over Chick's stomach again and again. 

"Make a mess," Chick says again. "Make a mess, Jim." 

He comes even as Chuck keeps fucking him at the same tempo. Relentless and perfect and devastating until he pushes his mouth against Jim's ear and comes. 

Jim wraps an arm around Chick's head and holds him close. Chick's own hands press perfectly into Jim's hips as they pant into each other's ears. 

"I thought–" Chick swallows loudly in JIm's ear. 

"Me, too," Jim admits. He digs his nails into Chick's scalp and kisses his temple. "I…" he can't finish the thought, not when they're wrapped up so close. 

Chick breathes in and out. He uses one hand to press Jim gently to the right so they can share a kiss, and as it happens, he pulls out. "Shh," he says when Jim whimpers at the loss. 

"Stay. Stay," Jim says. Something he always wants to say but never has. But he survived his own death yesterday, so he feels like it's okay.

Chick kisses his mouth and his cheek and his collarbone. "Jim," he says. 

"I love you," Jim blurts because it's been caught behind his ribs since he realized he was going to live. "I know we agreed this was a fuck and suck–"

"Hush," Chick replies and his kiss is gentle but certain. "Jesus, when I thought I'd lost you," he murmurs against Jim's mouth, then carefully brushes his thumbs over each of the cuts on Jim's face. 

Jim stares at the rafters and breathes slow and deep. He rubs his hands up and down Chick's back. "Hambone puts those rubbers in my foot locker," Jim says. "He thinks I don't know it's him, but I saw him do it once. It makes him laugh."

"I don't fucking care," Chick says and presses kisses to Jim's chest and arms. 

"It's been rough," Jim says, the closest he can come to admitting the war's fucking exhausting. "And it kept making him laugh."

Chick is taking over his entire line of sight suddenly, so close Jim can't see anything else. "I didn't think you had them to fuck around on me," he says. "If you'd be using them, there'd be less."

And Jim laughs, brash and loud and maybe a little uneven, but it's genuine, and it makes Chick smile at him. They kiss again, slow and easy. But Jim's never been the type who can let something land on soft ground, so when they pull apart, he gives Chick his brashest grin and says, "Hey, so did you know Crosby and Bubbles and Mrs. Jean Crosby are fucking?"

"You might have the worst pillow talk in the entire Air Army," Chick mutters, and Jim laughs and laughs and pulls him as close as he possibly can. When he calms down, Chick is smiling at him like he's wonderful, and Jim takes his chance. "Would you tell everyone about us?"

Chick pushes Jim's curls off his forehead. "Would you tell me you love me?" he asks. 

"I love you," Jim answers instantly. 

Chick kisses Jim on the mouth. "I love you," he replies. It's the first time they've ever said it, but it feels exactly right. Honest but sharp, a little mercenary even. "But at least let me have you all to myself for the rest of the night."

Jim laughs and presses his face into Chick's neck. "Okay," he says. "That feels fair."

[aurorablackwei]

Sometimes when I read fanfics that put all the blame on WWX for not knowing LWJ's feelings or that he is idiot, ignorant or obviously I feel they leave many things aside, starting with the communication in the couple and the psychology of the character. (I blame "The Untamed" for that perception, their relationship there is much more obvious and in the end LWJ does not accompany him and remains at the service of the hypocrites of the world of cultivation, horrible)

They put LWJ in the "Friendzone" and I think something I really hate in real life and fantasy is the idea that good deeds and care for another must be returned in romantic feelings or sexual actions, especially if there is no declaration of intent . Even LXC kinda perpetuates this "after all he's done for you and you still don't love him" idea, so yeah, LXC in general is always well portrayed.

But personally and I speak from experience, assuming the feelings of another is the biggest mistake. Demanding that for being nice or having feelings someone should return those feelings or even sexual favors is a farce of a true relationship. It's generally misogynistic when a lot of men, which is where I see it the most, are nice to or befriend a woman for a chance, then complain that they didn't get laid or that she chose someone else.

She probably chose someone who, who really declared his intentions, tried to win her and from the beginning announced that wanted to have a romance or sex. If you introduce yourself as a friend, don't expect someone to treat you as a couple.

The worst of all this is that LWJ understands it, he can't be friendzoned because he was never there, he loved WWX before his death but he only acts on his feelings in secret (when he kisses him) or in despair (Nightless city ), before that he does not demand anything because he does not present himself as a potential partner, his feelings are his and he suffers for them, but he does not impose them on WWX or demand anything in return because he does nothing about it. We also know that he trusted the system, his sect, his clan and his family and it is later that he realizes that they are rotten. He also makes mistakes, because he always dedicated himself to driving WWX away or trying to help him thinking that he knew better, believing that his sect was right and could help him (personally I think that if WWX went to Gusu at first it would not be different from Madame Lan because LWJ still trusted his elders and their teachings, not his fault obviously).

When he saves him and faces the elders, I think it is the moment of deepest change for LWJ but it is too late to do anything, and I don't think the lashes are WWX's fault either, LWJ here must be 22/23 years old and although they were desperate measures, he make the decisions he make and he owns that and takes his punishment. That does not change the love nor the perceived rejection, nor the death of WWX.

LWJ understands it better than anyone and lives it for 13 years, he love WWX, he is still devoting his thoughts and his heart even if it is not reciprocated, even if the person is no longer there and will last as long as it has to last.

I think that the most beautiful thing about Wangxian as a couple is that they overcome that idea of debts, unlike other relationships like WQ and WWX or JC and WWX, LWJ does not expect WWX to return his love, if he thinks that WWX rejected him, it is not a impediment to continue loving and protecting him. He woos, nurtures and protects him and WWX even understands his wooing and falls in love with LWJ even more. When he realizes that his actions were cruel, despite being unintentional he explains it to LWJ, he clears up the misunderstandings. And they can be together.

When WWX returns, LWJ protects him, stay by his side, trusts him, and in the process pampers and woos him. And surprise, WWX falls in love. We know that before he had at least one crush, but I think there was no space in his life, mind and heart to fall in love, because there were many things happening, each one worse than the last, however he always wanted Lan Zhan's attention and now that has his is wrapped up in it and falls even deeper.

And even those misunderstandings make sense.

1.- WWX does not have the context behind LWJ's actions and still falls in love. He doesn't know what happened after the Nightless City.

2.- They have the fight with Jiang Cheng at Lotus Pier where we already know that he was thinking of marrying LWJ and he had caught him falling from the tree, but he sees LWJ upset and was unconscious later, after te GC reveal.

3.- In his mind at that point LWJ was so good that what he does for him he would do for anyone and they only added points to his greatness.

4.- LWJ's "rejection" at the inn is the last nail in the coffin, thinking that he abused LWJ and destroyed their relationship.

For LWJ

1.- He doesn't know that WWX doesn't remember Nightless City and still thinks that he was rejected.

2.- He probably believes that WWX was flirting with him like he did before, and that WWX also had experience.

3.- Maybe everything was going well but Lotus Pier happens and WWX says that they are just friends and LWJ does not know that he was trying to protect his reputation.

When JGY and LXC tell WWX about LWJ's feelings and punishment, I think that more than the punishment he took for him is knowing that LWJ loves him and the punishment is a sample of how far he would go for him, it makes it tangible, not just an idea or a word, for WWX words do not have as much value as actions, learning about the punishment makes tangible the fact that LWJ loves him despite how painful it is to know. And being sure of that makes him able to deliver his feelings without fear of rejection or displeasure, and he needs to tell him right then and there.

4.- When he is conscious in the inn it is to hear WWX thanking him and then saying that what they did is normal between friends and not important.

WWX is a self-confident character in many aspects, but emotionally delicate, few people have sincerely loved him, and he has been able to count on fewer, so to be in a relationship, he probably does need to be courted. He need be openly loved and with the confidence that they will be by his side, because he will give himself completely and without restrictions, as in all his other relationships. LWJ shows him that, that he will always be by his side, in every way and his relationship is healthy with trust and communication. Even his intimacy and sex life is a reflection of that, they trust each other, communicate their needs and desires, and support each other.

Unfortunately they worked on it apart, LWJ through mourning the love of his life and the disappointment of a system and precepts he trusted. WWX through loneliness, isolation and then his death. Maybe in another world they could grow and learn together, the idea that young couples don't last, is false. I know many couples that have lasted for years starting at 19 or 20 and others that don't, it depends on the sacrifices that each one wants to do and the objectives that they have together and these are not necessarily to start a family, they can be to travel and still do it together, professional success and still do it together, if you have a partner who is by your side and you are by his side you can, as long as you're both willing, learning together is also an experience. And at least for WWX dreams as long as he's having a couple of flings, he'd probably love the stability of a home and a partner (and therapy).

So I don't think LWJ should be friendzoned, especially since he's not an idiot who thinks he's owed something for his good deeds, and because he's shown that he doesn't accept feelings as thanks. The "Friendzone" is as far away from LWJ as you can get.

A veces cuando leo fanfics que ponen toda la culpa en WWX por no saber los sentimientos de LWJ o que es idiota o ignorante siento que dejan muchas cosas de lado, partiendo por la comunicacion en la pareja y las psicologia del personaje. (Culpo a "The Untamed" por esa percepción, su relación ahí es mucho mas obvia y al final LWJ no lo acompaña y se queda al servicio de los hipócritas del mundo del cultivo, horrible)

...................................................................................................

Ponen a LWJ en la "Friendzone" y creo que algo que odio en la vida real y en la fantasía es la idea de que los buenos actos y el cuidado por un otro deben ser devueltos en sentimientos romanticos, sobretodo si no hay declaracion de intenciones. Incluso LXC perpetúa un poco esta idea "despues de todo lo que hizo por ti y aún no lo amas", asi que sí, LXC en general esta bien retratado siempre.

Pero en lo personal y hablo por experiencia, asumir los sentimientos de otro es el mayor error. Exigir que por ser amable o tener sentimientos alguien me debe devolver esos sentimientos o incluso favores sexuales es una farsa a una verdadera relación. Es en general misogino cuando muchos hombres, que es donde mas lo veo, son amables o se hacen amigos de una mujer para tener una oportunidad, luego se quejan de que no lograron acostarse o de que ella eligio a alguien más.

Probablemente eligió a alguien que si declaro sus intenciones, trato de conquistarla y desde un principio aviso que quería tener un romance o sexo. Si te presentas como amigo no esperes que te trate como pareja.

Lo peor de todo esto es que LWJ lo entiende, el no puede ser puesto en la friendzone porque jamas estuvo ahí, amaba a WWX antes de su muerte pero solo actúa en sus sentimientos en secreto (cuando lo besa) o en desesperación (Nigthless city), antes de eso no exige nada porque no se presenta como pareja potencial, sus sentimientos son suyos y sufre por ellos, pero no se los impone a WWX ni exige nada a cambio porque no hace nada al respecto. También sabemos que confiaba en el sistema, su secta, su clan y su familia y es mas tarde cuando se da cuenta de que estaba todo podrido. Y también comete errores, porque siempre se dedico a alejar a WWX o intentar ayudarlo pensando que sabia mejor, creyendo que su secta tenia razón y podía ayudarlo(en lo personal creo que si WWX fuera a Gusu al principio no sería distinto a Madame Lan porque LWJ aun confiaba en sus mayores y en sus enseñanzas, no es su culpa obviamente).

Cuando lo salva y se enfrenta a los ancianos creo que es el momento de cambio mas profundo para LWJ pero es muy tarde para hacer algo, y tampoco creo que sea culpa de WWX los latigazos, LWJ aqui debe tener 22/23 años y aunque fueron medidas desesperadas tomo las decisiones que tomo y se hace cargo de eso y toma su castigo. Eso no cambia su amor, ni el rechazo percibido, ni la muerte de WWX.

LWJ lo entiende mejor que nadie y lo vive por 13 años, el amor es eso, dedicar tus pensamientos y tu corazon aunque no sea correspondido, aunque la persona ya no este y durara lo que tenga que durar.

Cuando WWX regresa LWJ lo protege, se queda a su lado, confia en él y en el proceso lo mima y lo corteja. Y sorpresa, WWX se enamora. Sabemos que antes tenia al menos un flechazo, pero creo que no había espacio en su vida, mente y corazon para enamorarse, porque habia muchas cosas pasando, cada una peor que la anterior, sin embargo siempre quiso la atención de Lan Zhan y ahora que la tiene esta envuelto en eso y cae aun mas profundo.

Creo que lo mas lindo de la Wangxian como pareja es que superan esa idea de deudas, al comtrario de otras relaciones como WQ y WWX o JC y WWX, LWJ no espera que WWX devuelva su amor, si cree que WWX lo rechazo no es un impedimento para seguir amandolo y protegiendolo. Lo corteja, lo cuida y lo protege y WWX incluso entiende esos cortejos y se enamora de LWJ aun más. Cuando se da cuenta que sus acciones fueron crueles, a pesar de ser sin intención se lo explica a LWJ, aclara los malentendidos. Y pueden estar juntos.

E incluso esos malentendidos tienen sentido.

Por WWX:

1.- WWX no tiene el contexto detras de las acciones de LWJ y aun asi se enamora. No sabe lo que paso después del Nigthless City.

2.- Tienen la pelea con Jiang Cheng en Lotus Pier donde ya sabemos que pensaba en casarse con LWJ y lo habian atrapado cayendo del árbol, pero ve molestia en LWJ y estaba inconsciente mas tarde.

3.- En su mente en ese punto LWJ era tan bueno que lo que hace por el lo haria por cualquier persona y solo agregaban puntos a su grandeza.

4.- El "rechazo" de LWJ en la posada es el último clavo en el ataúd, pensar que abuso de la confianza de LWJ y destruyo su relación.

Por LWJ:

1.- No sabe que WWX no recuerda Nigthless City y aun piensa que fue rechazado.

2.- Probablemente cree que WWX coqueteaba con el igual como lo hacia antes, y que además WWX tenia experiencia.

3.- Tal vez todo iba bien pero ocurre Lotus Pier y WWX dice que solo son amigos y LWJ no sabe que estaba tratando de proteger su reputación.

4.- Cuando esta consciente en la posada es para escuchar a WWX agradeciéndole y luego diciendo que lo que hicieron es normal entre amigos y no importante.

Cuando JGY y LXC le dicen de los sentimientos y el castigo de LWJ, creo que mas que el castigo que tomo por él es saber que LWJ lo ama y el castigo es una muestra de hasta donde llegaría por el, lo hace tangible, no solo una idea o una palabra, para WWX las palabras no tienen tanto valor como las acciones, enterarse del castigo hace tangible el hecho de que LWJ lo ama a pesar de lo doloroso que es saberlo. Y estar seguro de eso hace que puede entregar sus sentimientos sin temor al rechazo o desagrado, y necesita decírselo en ese mismo momento.

WWX es un personaje seguro de si mismo en muchos aspectos, pero sensible emocionalmente, pocas personas lo han amado sinceramente, y con menos ha podido contar, por lo que para estar en una relación probablemente sí necesita ser cortejado y estar seguro para devolver sus sentimientos abiertamente y con confianza de que estarán a su lado, porque el se entregarápor completo y sin restricciones, como en todas sus otras relaciones. LWJ le demuestra eso, que estará a su lado siempre, en todos los sentidos y su relación es saludable con confianza y comunicación. Incluso su intimidad y vida sexual es un reflejo de eso, confian en el otro, comunican sus nececidades y deseos y se apoyan mutuamente.

Lamentablemente trabajaron en eso separados, LWJ a través del duelo por el amor de su vida y la decepción de un sistema y preceptos en los que confiaba . WWX a través de la soledad, el aislamiento y luego su muerte. Tal vez en otro mundo podrían crecer y aprender juntos. edad, el aislamiento y luego su muerte.

Veo mucho de las parejas jovenes no duran es por eso, deben crecer o madurar y conozco muchas parejas que han durado años empezando a los 18 o 20 y otras que no, depende de los sacrificios que cada uno quiera hacer y los objetivos que tengan juntos y estos no necesariamente son formar una familia, pueden ser viajar y aun asi hacerlo juntos, exito profesional y aún asi hacerlo juntos, si tienes un compañero que esta a tu lado y tu a su lado se puede, siempre y cuando ambos esten dispuestos, aprender juntos tambien es una experiencia. Y al menos por los sueños de WWX mientras tenga un par de aventuras, probablemente amaría la estabilidad de un hogar y una pareja (y terapia).

Así que no creo que LWJ deba ser puesto en la "Friendzone", sobretodo porque no es un idiota que cree que se le debe algo por sus buenas acciones, y porque ha demostrado que no aceptara sentimientos en agradecimientos. La "Friendzone" es lo más alejado de LWJ que se pueda estar.