#(And joshua because... it's Joshua. he likes being in control of everything and showing weakness is not being in control | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

renjuseyo · 3 years

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can you u do the scenario “you are hurting me” but now with the hip hop unit of seventeen please🥺🥺

seventeen reaction ; “you’re hurting me” (hip hop unit)

warning: angst

vocal unit reaction performance unit reaction i’ve finally finished this series! it wasn’t originally going to be one, but a lot of people seemed to like it, so here it is! this will probably be my last time writing reactions... i never realized how difficult it was to write them, much less for thirteen people. what was even harder was having to write scenarios for members i couldn’t imagine fitting the scenario, if that makes sense (e.g. joshua, dokyeom, vernon) :’) again, i am in no way trying to romanticize the reactions or events that happen in here. everyone will react differently if this were to happen to them; i am not trying to push a certain kind of “thinking” to my readers. this is purely fictional! as always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

seungcheol

seungcheol knows that as a leader and the oldest member, he’s expected to be stronger than the others. if he has his moments of weakness, under no circumstances should he show it to the cameras. while he does take pride in being his members’ pillar, there are times where the stress from being sad pillar gets so unbearable that even the smallest thing can push him over the edge.

when seungcheol’s stress is heightened, he takes everything personally. you can do anything, and he’ll somehow find a way to twist your words or actions into an argument. usually he always wants to be the peacemaker, because infighting within the group is never good for anyone. but when it comes to you, who encourages him to not filter his feelings, the stress from... everything, comes pouring out in the form of exasperated yelling and crude remarks. his anger is short-lived, but it’s never an unforgettable experience, nor is the outcome pretty. you cautiously approach him, hand ghosting his shoulder, when he sharply turns around and grabs your wrist to stop you. the action surprises you more than it hurts you, but your yelp stuns both of you. it’s only when he notices tears brimming the corner of your eyes, as well as his grip on your wrist, that all anger in him disappears.

it takes seungcheol a few seconds for him to register the destruction of his words. you’re trying not to cry, and you’re wriggling in his grasp, trying to free yourself. he releases his grip like hot iron in stunned silence, and he soon finds himself utterly horrified with everything he’s said. you don’t have time to say anything before apologies begin spilling out of his lips, and he too begins crying, angry because he failed to be the paragon of a boyfriend that everyone gushes about. he cautiously asks for permission to hug you, and if you accept, he’ll embrace you with no intention of letting you go, head buried in your shoulder as he lists more apologies.

after seeing the look of terror flash in your eyes, seungcheol vows to find a healthier alternative of coping with stress instead of lashing out on others. he never wants to see you look like that ever again, nor does he ever want to be the source of your tears. with your permission, he cuddles into you, whispering apologies and promises in your ear as you two are lulled to sleep, tired from the yelling and crying.

wonwoo

for the most part, wonwoo’s in control of his feelings. though he’s more sentimental than others, he never lets his emotions get the better of him. but there are rare times - once every blue moon, if you will - where these emotions do get to him. and when they do, he needs time for himself to recharge his battery. sure, he does enjoy the solitude being alone gives him, but during these times, he absolutely must be alone, unless you want to deal with a snappy wonwoo.

you and wonwoo settle your arguments maturely. you two rarely yell at each other, and your arguments are always calmly settled by talking it over tea, no matter the scale. but when his emotions get to him, when he feels drained, he isolates himself. while you understand his need for alone time, you disagree with leaving him alone when he’s not in a good mindset. your different views spark an argument between you two; wonwoo just wants to be alone, so why don’t you understand that? on the other hand, you just want to make sure he isn’t doing anything to harm himself, so why doesn’t he understand that? you two are yelling at each other like you’ve never before, and from the looks of things, neither of you doubt this can be calmly settled over tea like usual. at some point, he tiredly tells you to back off and stop being so clingy. because unlike you, some people need time for themselves, too.

there’s a deafening silence. wonwoo doesn’t realize how badly he’s hurt you until you hastily grab your jacket and phone before walking out and slamming the door shut. thousands of alarms ring in his head as he recalls his words. neither of you were right in this situation, but right now isn’t the time to determine logicality. he grabs his belongings and quickly dashes after you. after he catches you by the bus stop, he stops you from boarding the bus, struggling to even your breathing and stopping your tears. because neither of you are quite ready for confrontation, he simply apologizes and tells you to get home safe and to stay warm.

wonwoo spends the night reflecting on his actions and realizes this can only be properly resolved if you two met up face-to-face. but he gives you the space you need, occasionally sending you reminders to stay hydrated and to stay warm. a few days later, you two eventually meet at your apartment, and like always, decide to talk about the problem over tea. you both begin apologizing at the same time, him for hurting you and you for not understanding his needs. overall, he would be sincerely apologetic about the whole ordeal and show it through verbal affirmations.

mingyu

despite being somewhat of a coward, mingyu loves challenges and never backs down from them (unless they involve heights. you’ll never hear from him again). that, paired with his honesty, can sometimes make a recipe calling for disaster. sure, honesty is the best policy, but sometimes his bluntness and competitive nature can lead to all sorts of arguments between you two.

mingyu likes to rile you up. it’s all in good fun, of course, save for the times where he has more suggestive intentions. but sometimes when you’re having a bad day, his teasing riles you up, though not in the way either of you would like. usually his remarks are met with equally snarky comebacks, but now all you feel is insecurity. when you retaliate with an irritated comment, he takes it as a signal to keep up your usual, petty bantering. it deescalates quickly, and because he still hasn’t noticed your bad mood, he gets defensive, and an argument sparks between you two. there’s yelling and sarcastic, snide remarks exchanged on both ends, but he’s too determined to come out on top to notice the way your shaking intensifies at each comment. when he sees how pissed you look, he laughs, taunting your short temper. fed up, you retaliate by sarcastically congratulating him for winning this dumb competition of an argument. it’s then he snaps out of his trance and realizes the consequences of his words.

“congratulations, you’ve made me cry. you win! are you happy now?” you flatly ask, though both of you catch the quiver in your voice. instead of satisfaction like he normally feels after beating you at your own game, all mingyu feels is deep guilt. his anger and competitiveness vanishes, and he’s left feeling like a kicked puppy. he approaches you with the most dejected look and carefully wraps his arms around you before pulling you into a hug, whispering apologies in your ear. you’re too tired from crying and yelling to push him away, so you let your head fall onto his chest.

after that incident, mingyu would feel incredibly guilty for letting his competitiveness get the better of him. in hopes of showing how sorry he is, he sends you several gifts and several comforting short messages of i love you’s and i’m sorry’s, paired with several heart emojis. all in all, he goes above and beyond to show how guilty he feels. even if he may come off as superficial, he hopes you’ll understand how sincere he is.

vernon

similar to joshua and dokyeom, i can’t see vernon as the type of person that would ever make you explicitly tell him he’s hurting you. even the members of seventeen have stated that he rarely gets angry, considering how he has a laid-back and a go-with-the-flow personality. if you were to ever say he’s hurting you, it would probably be said in the heat of a moment, more out of frustration, not sadness or fear.

despite being blunt, vernon is a difficult person to read. it’s no wonder, considering how he always sports a nonchalant look. the only way anyone could know what he was thinking was if he outwardly stated it. while this does lessen the number of arguments you two have, his personality can also be frustrating for you, especially when you need him to be decisive and state what he wants, not what others want. arguing with him is like arguing with a brick wall; you’ll be scolding him for his indecisiveness, and all he’ll do is take it, occasionally nodding at your words. it frustrates you to no end, and you’re flabbergasted at how he’s still so nonchalant, not reacting to a single thing you say. “i can’t do this. you’re hurting me here,” you groan, running a hand through your hair.

thinking you’re angry, vernon will jump out of his seat and approach you, rubbing apologetic, consoling circles on your arms. he only does this when you’re upset, attempting to calm you down. and you are upset, because you just want him to cooperate with you, but seeing the look in his eyes causes your frustration to fade away. both of you know it’ll eventually come back, but frankly, you’re too tired from yelling at a brick wall (read: vernon) to do anything about it right now. he apologizes for causing you so much frustration, and seeing how sincere he is, you decide to put off interrogating him. it’s not like he enjoys being indecisive, either. he just doesn’t know how to pick sides.

overall, i don’t see vernon as the type to get into arguments so intense that it ends up with you in tears. there’s no reason to get into extreme arguments, not when he’s so straightforward about his feelings. he would feel guilty for making you so frustrated and probably try to show how apologetic he is by giving you soothing rubs and hugs.

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waitineedaname · 3 years

Text

It was Tommy Coolatta’s birthday, and Gordon Freeman was shaking in a Chuck E. Cheese bathroom.

He hadn’t planned to end up there. He hadn’t planned to be in many of the places he’d been in the past… god. Week? Weeks? Month? The realization that he couldn’t remember how long he’d spent trying to escape Black Mesa made him grip the cheap tile of the bathroom countertops and shake even harder.

He’d tried to make it through the party as long as he could, he really had. He’d danced with Bubby and Coomer and tried his hand at the arcade machines and eaten what pizza he could stomach. But it was just… so much. He wasn’t sure how the others could party like that after everything they’d gone through. Everyone coped differently, he supposed.

He should probably go back out there soon, for Tommy’s sake. It was his birthday, after all, and after everything Tommy had done for him, he owed it to him to at least celebrate with him. He just… needed a minute. Maybe none of them had even realized he’d left yet.

“Mr. Freeman?”

Damn.

“Hey, Tommy.” Gordon offered Tommy a weak smile, though he could see in the mirror that it was more of a grimace. “Sorry, man, I’ll be back out there in a second. It was just… a lot.”

Tommy nodded, a sympathetic look on his face. “Do… Is it okay if I join you?”

“What? You don’t have to keep me company dude, it’s your birthday. Don’t stop having fun on my account.” Gordon tried to wave him towards the door, but Tommy was shaking his head before he’d even finished his sentence.

“No, I… It’s a lot for me too. The-” Tommy gestured vaguely as if searching for a word and failing to find it, “All of it.”

“Oh.” Gordon blinked. “Then, yeah, pull up a chair, I guess.”

Tommy gave him a small smile and shut the bathroom door behind him. He leaned his back against it and let out a sigh that Gordon echoed.

They stood there in silence for a while, Gordon doing his best to get his shaking under control. With anyone else, he might have felt awkward, but this was Tommy. Tommy had been the one to practically carry him through countless tunnels and vats of questionable liquid when he was delirious from blood loss. If there was anyone he trusted to not judge him for having a breakdown in the bathroom, it was Tommy.

The metal of the HEV suit clinked against the linoleum of the sink, and suddenly it struck him how much he wanted this thing off.

“Hey, uh,” Gordon spoke up, clearing his throat. Tommy hummed in acknowledgement, “You’ve read a bunch of manuals, right? Did you read the HEV suit manual?”

“Uh, yeah!”

“Think you could get this thing off me?”

Tommy’s eyes widened like he’d only just realized how long Gordon had been wearing the suit. “Oh! Yeah, I can- I think I can do that.”

Tommy approached him slowly, as if approaching a skittish cat, then became more confident in his movements when Gordon gave no sign of flinching away. He began working on the back of Gordon’s chestplate first, slender fingers working deftly on the bolts and buckles that held it together. It was slow work, but with each piece Tommy lifted off him, Gordon felt he could breathe easier. A literal weight was lifted off him, and it only made him more aware of the ache deep in his bones. Every few minutes, there would be a loud noise from the main entertainment area of the Chuck E. Cheese; Gordon would flinch away from the sound, and Tommy would freeze in his movements, but then they would hear Coomer’s loud laughter or a snide, muffled comment from Bubby, and they would relax and resume their work.

After what felt like eons, Tommy finished unclasping the last buckle on Gordon’s boots, stepping back to let him toe them off himself. The HEV suit was a pile of orange rubble surrounding them, and Gordon suddenly felt exposed in nothing but his socks and the dark jumpsuit he’d been wearing under the suit. He felt like he could stand up straight without straining for the first time in weeks, and the feeling of the overpowered Chuck E. Cheese air conditioning seeping through the sleeves of his jumpsuit left him feeling flayed raw.

Tommy was staring at him with an unreadable look on his face, hands flexing and unflexing in a nervous stim. He reached out a hand, hesitated, then laid it on Gordon’s left forearm. Gordon’s skin burned under his touch. When was the last time he’d felt someone else’s body heat?

“Can…” Tommy’s voice was quiet and sounded as fragile as Gordon felt, “Can I hug you?”

Gordon didn’t trust himself to speak around the lump the size of a tennis ball in his throat, so he just nodded. Tommy outstretched long arms, and the two of them fell into each other.

Gordon’s whole body felt like it was buzzing right down to his core. He was lightheaded as everything hit him in that moment. All he had gone through. All he had survived. The fact that he was out, and he was alive. The fact that this was the first time he’d touched someone and felt it on his skin since he’d dropped Joshua off at his mom’s the week of the test. And it was Tommy who got to hold the title of the first person to hug him in far too long. Tommy who had been kind to him even when stress was making them all snappish, and who had made jokes with him when things felt grim. Tommy who had been the only one he trusted when everyone else left him for dead, Tommy who fought by his side so loyally and who removed that horrible suit with such impossible tenderness.

Gordon pressed his face into the shoulder of Tommy’s filthy polo shirt that smelled like sweat and blood but was warm and had probably been soft at some point, and he let out the loudest sob in his life. His voice shattered on the noise, and then he suddenly couldn’t hold it back anymore, sob after sob wrenching its way out of his throat.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever cried like this. Not when he was in labor with Joshua, not at any point during the Resonance Cascade, not even when his arm was being cut off. Nothing compared to these deep sobs that seemed to claw their way out of somewhere deep in his soul to burst out of his chest as everything crashed into him all at once.

He could feel Tommy’s fist balled in the back of his jumpsuit, and he could feel and hear Tommy weeping quietly into where he’d pressed his face into Gordon’s hair, and the raw sensations of it all only made him sob harder.

They stood there, clinging to each other until Gordon’s knees couldn’t hold him up any longer, and then they both sank to the ground, still holding onto each other like they were each other’s life lines. Maybe they were.

Eventually, Gordon simply couldn’t cry anymore, his tear ducts emptied, leaving him with a dehydration headache and a sore throat. He didn’t extricate himself from Tommy’s hold, though, and Tommy didn’t seem like he was going to let go any time soon either. He’d cried himself empty sooner than Gordon had, and now he was just stroking his fingers through Gordon’s knotted curls. Gordon didn’t want to think about how nasty his hair must be right now, caked in blood and sweat and god knows what else, but Tommy’s hand in his hair felt more soothing than aloe on a sunburn.

He snorted quietly when the simile occurred to him. He’d maybe been spending too much time with Tommy. He then immediately shoved that thought away and squeezed Tommy tighter. No, he had not spent nearly enough time with Tommy. Now that they were out, he could let himself think about spending time with Tommy when they weren’t in mortal danger. He couldn’t wait to watch Tommy’s favorite shows and listen to him infodump about them, or walk Sunkist in the sunshine, or take Tommy to his favorite restaurants, or introduce him to Joshua-

Fuck. God, he really liked this guy, huh.

Tommy pulled back ever so slightly, though he didn’t go far. Just enough to be able to look down at Gordon with those kind, intelligent eyes, and Gordon thought he might pass out. He moved his hand from Gordon’s messy ponytail to cup his cheek, and Gordon was certain he was going to pass out.

“Are you okay?” Tommy asked. Gordon laughed despite himself.

“No,” Gordon said, tilting his head to better fit against Tommy’s hand and giving Tommy the tiniest smile, “I don’t think I am.”

Tommy gave him his own sad smile. “That’s okay. I… I don’t think any of us are.”

Gordon snorted. “That’s for damn sure.”

Tommy was still staring down at him with more tenderness than Gordon was prepared to deal with, “Do…” He paused, licking his lips. Gordon wasn’t embarrassed to say he stared at the motion, “I think I’m done with the party. Do you want to go home?”

“Yeah,” Gordon sighed with more exhaustion than a man his age should feel, “I would love that, bud.”

It took some maneuvering to get them both off the floor without tripping over the chunks of HEV suit on the floor, but neither of them seemed willing to let go of each other more than necessary. Eventually, they made it out of the bathroom, Tommy’s hand warm and solid in Gordon’s own. Dr. Coomer looked up from where he’d been punching apart an arcade machine when they entered the room.

“Ah, hello, Gordon!” He said cheerfully. “You appear to have been peeled!”

“Uh, yeah, Dr. Coomer.” Gordon huffed out a laugh, relieved that that was what Dr. Coomer was pointing out opposed to the fact that his face was definitely puffy and tearstained. “Tommy helped me get the suit off.”

“You look very sporting in your jumpsuit, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer said, returning to his destruction of Chuck E. Cheese property. Tommy smiled down at Gordon, and he was suddenly struck by the realization that the HEV suit had given him a couple inches of height because wow, Tommy was tall. Tommy squeezed his hand and looked up to flag down Gman.

“Hello, son. Dr… Freeman.” Gman greeted them both. Gordon nodded at him. The dude still gave him the creeps, but he could appreciate the parental fondness he’d seen him demonstrate for Tommy over the course of the afternoon.

“Hey, dad.” Tommy gave him a slight wave with his free hand, the other still holding Gordon’s. “I- um, this was a really nice party!”

“I’m… glad to, hear it. I, pulled out all the stops.”

“I can- I can see that! But, uh. I’m pretty tired. I-... Can you open a portal to Mr. Freeman’s apartment?”

If Gman thought there was anything strange about Tommy asking to go to Gordon’s home and not his own, he didn’t say anything of it. “Of… course. I, will begin to… wrap things up here before, our, friends can cause too much… property damage.”

He gestured to the nearest wall with very little flourish to show them the glowing green portal that hadn’t been there a minute earlier. Tommy gently tugged Gordon in its direction. Behind them, he heard Coomer call out “goodbye, Gordon!” and then in a flash, they were standing in his living room.

Were this any other situation, Gordon would’ve been embarrassed to show someone the messy state of his apartment without tidying beforehand, but he simply didn’t have it in him to care when his bed was within reach for the first time in weeks. It was his turn to tug Tommy up the narrow stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. They both collapsed on his bed, neither bothering to change out of their bloodstained clothes, which Gordon was sure they’d regret in the morning, but considering he could barely summon the energy to pull the sheets over their shoulders, he decided that was a problem for future Gordon.

Tommy pulled him into his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world, like this wasn’t the first time he’d ever been in Gordon’s apartment, like they hadn’t met less than an hour before the worst disaster of their lives. Gordon felt the soft flannel of his sheets brush against his skin, and he felt the softness of his pillow under his head, and he felt Tommy’s warm body all around him, and he fell asleep solidly for the first time in weeks.

#hlvrai #freelatta #tommy coolatta #gordon feetman #my writing #okay to reblog #I have so many emotions involving these two oh god #shoutout to risk for sending me the post that inspired this and immediately killing me dead #I will probably reblog this with an ao3 link once I get it posted there

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2ndaryreactsandscenarios · 4 years

Text

Seventeen Mafia Reaction to: Let Me Protect You At Least

The members have taken quite a liking to you. But you get a little too close and wind up caught in a ploy. Leave it to them to make a scene and save you in the process.

Keep in mind this is some literal nonsense cliche “mafia” reaction content. Enjoy the content!

Trigger WARNING: Mentions of deaths of nameless and no face criminals/ kidnappers.

S.Coups/ Seungcheol (Caring and Observant ,The Dominating Rapper )

S.Coups wouldn’t bother with niceties when it came to you being taken. Rather it now became personal and he had a score to settle. He’d make sure that every single person involved with your kidnapping would suffer and rot. Once everyone was taken care of, he would go up to you and untie you. You would of course be scared, but happy to see him. Yet he surprised you when he simply said, “This is the last time you’ll see me. I’m not going to risk losing you over my job. So when we leave here, we’re nothing but strangers.”

S.Coups would keep his distance from that point on, resisting the urge to look after you yet failing every time. He made it a habit to at least confirm daily that you were safe. Just because he said you’d be strangers didn’t mean he didn’t care.

Jeonghan (Cheating Mischief Maker, the Angelic Voice )

Again, not called the Shadow Man for nothing. Jeonghan would kill everyone involved and he’d do it completely undetected. By the time anyone suspected anything, they were already as good as dead. Jeonghan wouldn’t say a word as he untied you and he wouldn’t dare to keep his eyes off of you. It was only once you were both in a place he deemed safe that he finally spoke to you.

“Is this what you had in mind when you wanted to get to know me? Maybe now you get it. You cannot get close to me and not expect this sort of thing to happen. This is my final warning. Leave me alone and you get to live. Otherwise situations like this will come up again. I like you alive and I think you do too. Leave and don’t you dare appear in front of me again.”

Jeonghan would speak harshly to you and he would do everything in his power to resist finding you again. But he understood that with his reputation and the nature of his job, it didn't matter how cute he found you. He wanted you to be safe and happy. That wasn’t really an option with him as he was.

Joshua/ Jisoo (Joking Gentleman, The Peaceful Voice )

Joshua would use all the tricks he picked up from the members as well as his intelligence to outsmart the enemy. He’d lure them away from you and rescue you. By the time anyone noticed you were gone, police would have already flooded the place. Once in the safehouse, Joshua, who is normally cool and collected, would wind up venting out all his frustration and anger at you.

“Do you see that? Those people could have killed you and gotten away with it. All because you were related to me in some way. I’m not someone you should associate with and you are going to be much safer and happier without me. I have a lot of people’s deaths on my conscience. I don’t need yours added to it.”

Joshua would make sure that you couldn’t possibly find them again, and he made sure to delete all records of your interactions. It hurt him to do it, because it was like he was erasing everything between you two. He had a program that notified him if anything was out of the ordinary in your life and he made it a point to have personnel protecting you if something seemed off.

Jun/ Junhui (Charismatic Blunt Sir, The Breathtaking Dancer )

Jun would be one to get help from members and he served as the escape, Once you and the members were secure and in the car, he would make sure to one hundred percent lose any enemies within a good 30 minutes flat. Once in the clear, he would take the members back to the safe spot before driving you to somewhere safe. He would glare at you and explain what you would have to do the following days, anger fueling his words the entire time.

Once you reached your destination, Jun sighed visibly upset.

“Did you see how I had to get help from the members? It’s because I don’t have the skills to protect you the way you need me to. I’m weak by myself, and if you’re with someone as weak as me then you’re something worse than dead. Do yourself a favor and when you leave this car, don’t ever find me again. Please.”

Jun would drive away once you were out and he wouldn’t look back no matter how much he wanted to. Once in a while he’d drive out to check on you in your daily life. He knew it was the best thing for you, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Hoshi/ Soonyoung (Comedy Trio ⅓, The Show Stopping Dancer )

Hoshi was good at getting things, so he would wind up making an offer to the bad people who took you. “If you return the hostage, I’ll give you that ultra rare item you wanted. If you pull anything, I’ll have the police on speed dial~”

He’d have members help him just to make sure nothing was up with the deal. Once he made the trade, he tried to leave only to be cornered by them, saying they needed to verify it was real. When they opened the bag it was empty and they asked him if it was a joke. He laughed and said that it was no joke.

“I mean, your corpses make for a pretty rare item don’t you think? I picked the body bags myself.”

Before they had time to react, the other members had taken them down. Hoshi would take you somewhere safe and wouldn’t bother scolding you like the other members.

“Are you okay?”

Hoshi would then silently slip out of your life and would avoid you like the plague. At the end of the story, never does the thief get a lover. He was well aware that you were better off with someone normal and stable.

Wonwoo (Literary Soul, The Emotion Filled Rapper )

Wonwoo would rescue you and try to do as minimal damage as possible. But once you were out of the building, he hit a button causing the entire hideout to burst into flames. As you were getting over the shock of what you just witnessed, Wonwoo pulled you to the getaway car and took you somewhere safe. He didn’t say a word, but you could feel the anger from a mile away. He wasn’t angry with you, rather himself for even letting this be possible. He blamed himself in every way and he needed to make sure this never happened again.

He sighed once you reached the destination, his anger seeming to leave his body.

“Listen… Stay here for a few days. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just stay here and out of sight. You won’t have to worry about this happening again. Now get out of the car please and talk to the man at the desk.”

Wonwoo would cut all contact with you and resume his regular slated program. But he did catch himself thinking of you now and again.

Woozi/ Jihoon (Brilliant Creator, The Tranquil Vocal )

Woozi made sure to get every single person involved arrested and sentenced to life. He had his ways and he made sure that the police would do their best to protect you. Once you returned home, he was already there waiting for you.

“I don’t think I need to give any more warnings and I don’t think my point could be proven any clearer. For your best interest you need to stay away from me and the members. You are too good of a person to get tied up with all of this nonsense. You actually have a choice… I was able to save you this time, but this will be the only time. So stay away from me and the others.”

Woozi would constantly check with Dino to make sure they were still protecting you, and he would check often to make sure you were actually safe.

DK/ Dokyeom (Comedy Trio ⅓, The Killer Smile and Soul Vocal )

DK would make a trade to get you back. Boasting it as one of his most wanted properties in return for you. The enemy was pretty overjoyed about the deal, and the entire time DK had the same big smile. It was only when they were taken outside the location did they give you to DK. He smiled at you and looked back at the kidnappers going into his property, that certainly looked lavish on the outside. Once everyone had gone inside he pulled out a handgun and shot the driver, before hitting a detonator that made the whole building burst into flames. DK finally stopped smiling and looked at you.

“Do you think you could ever be with someone like me? I just killed those men, not even considering whether they had anyone waiting for them. I’m certain one day I’ll just end like those men. I can’t even control that end and I may even deserve it. But you…”

DK looked at you with a softness in his eyes.

“You don’t deserve that though. And I control whether that happens to you. Leave. I’m begging you to leave. I don’t want this to ever happen again.”

DK had set the whole thing up where he found an old warehouse and dolled the place up a big on the exterior. He was thinking of turning it into something when he found out you had been taken. Despite his initial plans, he forfeit his plans and rigged the place with bombs made by Mingyu. From that night on, he refused to find you or even so much as let you cross his mind. Constantly reminding himself that this was for the best.

Mingyu (“The Tallest~”, The Dynamic Rapper )

Mingyu saved you because the men were foolish enough to take you to a bar. Mingyu would disguise himself as a bartender (not too far off from his real profession) and he went to serve them in their own personal room. By the time he left with you, everyone in the room had been poisoned unconscious. You would follow closely behind Mingyu and ask if he killed them. He would turn around suddenly and glare at you.

“What difference would it make how I answered? Regardless of my answer, you should understand that I do that sort of thing. If people are posing a threat to me, I get rid of them before they get rid of me. Don’t think for a moment that I’m someone too kind to do that sort of thing. You don’t know me and you never will. After this whole thing we both need to lay low. You go back to your life and I’ll go back to mine!! Clear?”

With that Mingyu left you in a relatively open street and went his own way.

Once in a while a member would tell him about you (because once he asked them to keep tabs on you) and he would simply nod in acknowledgment at the information.

The8/ Minghao (Multiple Aspect Photographer, The Agile Dancer )

He killed them within one minute flat, and he wasn’t even in the same room. He made sure to lead you to safety and once there, he sent you a video to your phone.

“There are people who treat a life like something insignificant. I just so happen to be one of those people. All those people I killed to save you mean less than the gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. You deserve a lot of things, the world even. But you don’t deserve a killer by your side.”

The8 would be sure to keep his distance and if anyone posed a threat, he made sure to handle it personally.

Seungkwan (Comedy Trio ⅓, The MC Power Vocal )

Seungkwan would be able to get you out by causing a distraction while the rest of the members helped take out enemies. A member would help him escape, and he would wind up meeting with you later. Someone would take you elsewhere to clean you up and Seungkwan would be left alone with S.Coups. He would thank him for his help and would only be met with a cold glare from the leader.

“Listen. I get that you like them. But I’m not going to risk our cover every time they get in trouble for just knowing you. This isn’t some movie where we are all laughing and getting along-- this is life or death. Stop pretending to be the good guy when you already get that we are anything but that.”

“But what about them? I can’t just--”

“You can and you will. The members will send them home and you are not to contact them. Because next time I may have to do something I really don’t want to do… Get it?”

The only reason Seungkwan would leave you alone is because S.Coups threatened him to. So he tried to think of any way he could to keep the connection he had with you. But with everyone watching him, this proved difficult.

Vernon/ Hansol (Calm and Collected, The Fly Rapper )

Now I know a ton of you will say no way did Vernon get in by being a friend with these guys, and my answer HAHAHAHAHA-- yes he did. Point blank. PERIOD.

Vernon would wind up calling in a favor and convincing that whole gang to let you go. Why because he is that personable. After making sure you were okay, he would turn really cold and serious with you.

“As you can see, those sort of people are my friends. I think it’s in your best interest to stay as far away from me as possible, unless you want to meet more of my friends who think kidnapping someone is the equivalent of a joke. Stay away from me and you’ll be better than fine.”

Vernon would continue on as he always did and once in a while he would hear through the grapevine that someone had spoken to you from his side of the street. And he would make sure that person would never talk to you or anyone again.

Dino/ Chan (Michael Jackson Fan, The Smooth Dancer )

To say that Dino fabricated the reports and charges these guys a little bit is an understatement. He made it so that police were crawling all over the place and that no inch of the building was left unchecked. And he even was able to work it out where he was the one driving you home.

“It’s one thing for me to be the mole of the others and to constantly risk my neck being a cop too, but I can’t afford to lose the one person I want to protect from it all. When you get out of this car, you are an ordinary civilian and I am a backstabbing cop. So I’m begging you, stay out of this side of things. You’ve only seen a glimpse of how bad things could get. I’m doing this to protect you.”

Dino would make sure you were okay and would constantly resist the urge to check on you or patrol closer to where he knew you were.

Disclaimer: An important thing to note in regards to these reactions/scenarios is that none of them are based on how the members are in real life and are merely a depiction that fits the fiction (as I don’t know the members personally). These are meant to be lighthearted (aside from the angst that continues to rise on this blog) and I hope they are not being taken as pure fact or reality.

If you took the time to read this reaction, thank you so much for your time. Stay happy and healthy! Make yourself a magnificent morning/afternoon/evening/night whenever in time or whenever in the world you may be and I hope to see you all again soon. Bye bye~

#seventeen scenario #seventeen scenarios series #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reaction #seventeen reaction series #seventeen imagines #seventeen imagine #svt reactions #svt reaction #svt imagines #svt imagine #svt scenarios #svt scenario #svt mafia au #seventeen mafia au #seventeen mafia au reaction

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shra-vasti · 4 years

Text

Pairing : Seokmin x reader, wonwoo x reader

Title : Regret

Genre : angst, ex-lovers au, non-idol au

Warnings : none

Synopsis : You broke up with Seokmin when he decided to just play around with your feelings and now when you are in his sight after 2 years and he's ready to take you back he noticed he lost his chance.

A/N : The pictures used here aren't mine and the credits goes to their respective owners. I hope you enjoy the read <3

Sometimes trying to please your friends and pretending that you're okay when in reality you are far away from being okay becomes a major problem when all you are trying is to not burst into tears.

That's what your current position is as you were seated in a private room of a club with your friends for a reunion since everyone has been busy in their lives due to separate universities.

In front of you was Seokmin with a glass of vodka in a hand and other on the backrest of the couch you were seated on laughing at something Joshua said.

You weren't aware when Soonyoung informed you that everyone will be present.

You just wanted to have some good time so it was a great blow on your face when you were happily seated on the couch talking with everyone who were present and you heard his voice coming in your direction.

You closed your eyes at that even before he could step in front of you and took a sharp breath.

You broke up on a bad term. He was cheating on you from the start with his so called ex girlfriend. He never broke up with her but he wanted a rebound cause she was a handful from what you have heard about her.

She was from other school so you never really had a chance to contact her leading both of you to be complete strangers.

You never were the kind of person to beg someone if they showed that your presence in not valued or that they just don't care about you.

At least you had a bit pride in yourself to ever beg someone to stay in your life so you didn't.

When you broke up with him after finding out about his cheating you didn't stay longer and made your exit, a little part of you hoping for him to stop you and tell you that he regrets it but he didn't.

He never took you or your concern seriously, always laughing away when you decided to speak what's bothering you or just trying to kiss so you would stop talking.

He was totally opposite when he talked with her though. He didn't even hear your sobs when he was talking with you on a call about how he met his ex and how they fell in love.

With his discription you realized that both of yours love wasn't even half of what he felt for her. He talked so highly of her that you started envying her for stealing his heart first.

He never showed his weak side to you unlike how vulnerable he was in front of her. In your relationship it was Seokmin who had an upper hand but in theirs Seokmin was the one who was wrapped around her fingers.

Both of them loved each other from what you heard but you never understood the need to get in a relationship with someone else when you couldn't even get over your ex.

You never in your life got cheated or anything closer to that so it's was really hard for you to comprehend what was happening.

He didn't stop you when you said that it's over between both of you, perhaps because he thought that you will come back like you always did.

You were tired though and wanted to see if he valued you as much as you did. You wanted him to crawl back to you but months later you just heard he got back to his ex after you left the town to study overseas.

You changed your number and everything so that he wouldn't contact you. You really wanted to prove yourself that what you were assuming wasn't true but he proved otherwise.

It made you question, did he even loved you in first place? Or you were the only one in love?

Now that you think about all the times you spent together, you curse yourself for being so naive, so innocent, so childish.

The present you was so disappointed in past you for neglecting all the signs he gave from starting just because you thought your love will make him change.

"How's Jaehee?" Joshua's question led the atmosphere in between all of the people present there go from awesome to awkward.

You raise your eyebrows in confusion when each and every person in the room looked towards you at the mention of her name.

"She's awesome." replied Seokmin as he took a shot from his glass not breaking the eye contact with you.

Your expression were bored completely opposite of what Seokmin expected you to react.

"Don't look at me like that." you rolled your eyes at everyone when none of them spoke.

"It's been what? 2 years? Will you stop looking at me like my life is still dependent on it like seriously if its about Seokmin's girlfriend you should look at him not me. I've moved on for good. And I'm sure Seokmin is feelings awkward about this. Let's not make it awkward and enjoy the night okay?"

Everyone visibly relaxed after what you said thanking you for not making a mess and enjoying the night instead of crying.

You shook your head at that and continued with your drink.

Seokmin's eyes never left you after that though. His throat went dry in an instant when you said you have moved on.

Were you really over him? He couldn't digest that fact though, he wanted you to still cry over him at night and regret your decision of leaving him but now that you were in front of him he was rethinking all of his doings.

When he entered the private room the first thing he noticed was you. He didn't expected you to be there since he didn't have any clue where you were. He tried contacting your friends but they weren't of much help.

He noticed that your hair was longer than it were when you were with him. You were healthy unlike in the past where you had to constantly go to hospital due to stress.

He noticed you glowed differently, the smile you wore was more genuine.

He could feel a tug at his heart at your sight. It's been so long since he last saw you or heard of you.

He just wanted to walk up to you and hug you and mock you for leaving him with you crying and telling him how much you waited for this moment but none of that happened.

Instead he was met with your cold demnor. You didn't even spare a glance at him or even if you did it wouldn't last long enough.

He decided to just enjoy the night and confront you later on probably scold you for a minute or two for your childish behavior and ask you to stay the night with him.

Joshua's question caught him off guard. He didn't think that anyone would be taking her name in front of you and so without even answering his head turned towards you who had no sign of any interest in what was unfolding.

It hurt him when he heard you say that you have moved on. He shuddered when he detected the silent coldness you sent in his direction.

He didn't understand how you could change so much and he didn't like the way you made him feel at the tone of your voicemail.

He answered Joshua back cause he wanted to see you react at that but instead you just decided to come clean with your feelings.

He assumed it was your way of making him feel hurt and hide your feelings and he would take care of it afterwards.

"So guys I really had fun and everything, thanks for having me but I guess it's getting late so I'll head out first." you said as you hugged a few of them as you bid them goodbye and started making your way out of the club.

You came out of the club dailing a number on your phone as you waited for the caller to pick up the phone.

"Come pick me up." you said as you heard the person at other end laughing.

"I thought that atleast if your old friends will visited you, you would take your time to come back and it's what? 11pm and you are already heading home."

"Wonwoo please. I don't like socializing much it drains out my energy. Plus Seokmin was in the club too and I don't want to be in his presence for long."

"Wow now that's some new information."

"Will you hurry up he might come catch up with me to have some talk and I don't want to do that."

"Till what time are you going to run away from him. Talk with him if he wants to, tell him about me if you feel like and in no time I'll be there for your rescue my princess."

You cringed internally at that whole sentence. Were you ready to talk with him? There wasn't anything to talk about though.

You cut the call as you waited for Wonwoo to arrive. You have been dating him from past 10 months after you thought you were stable enough to be in a relationship.

Both of yours relationship wasn't planned it just happened like you just clicked with each other.

You shared the same interests and had a same sense of humor. He treated you nicely and promised to protect you when you told him about Seokmin.

Wonwoo never seem to get mad at you unlike how Seokmin did on smallest thing possible like even when you had a friendly talk with one of your male friend and he was really outraged.

Wonwoo doesn't mind if you talked with your male friends or for that matters anyone. He trusts you enough he says.

A hand on your shoulder turning you around broke the chain of your thoughts and you came face to face with a breathless Seokmin.

You shrugged his hand from your shoulder giving him a blank look although your heart was racing at his sight.

"What's with that cold look of yours? Stop pretending like your life is amazing." he scoffed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

If it was the old you, you would have felt your heart leap that this sight of him but you realised you felt nothing like that now.

"Pretending? I'm sorry I don't understand what you are trying to imply."

"Come on I missed you so much and I tried to contact you but you blocked me from everywhere. What a great way to run away from your life situation."

You look away taking a deep breath to control the anger building up inside you. You had to stay calm you can't lose your cool just like that.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lets get to my house and talk it out there."

He grabbed your hand to take you to his car instantly stopping when he realized you didn't even move from your place.

"I don't think my boyfriend will like the idea of me going to my ex's house."

You thought he would leave you at that asking you about the guy you are talking about but instead all you heard was his laughter.

He left your hand and clutch to his stomach as to prevent himself from pain due to laughing just like he always did whenever you tried to explain yourself or to talk out some misunderstanding.

He didn't change at all.

"I don't even know what's so funny about that Seokmin." you rolled your eyes.

"Look I know I hurt you but you don't have to go till that measures just to make me feel bad okay? I know I still have a effect on you and I know how you are and I'm sorry for what I did but now put aside your act and let's go."

He tried to grab your hand again but you moved back telling him to stay away from you.

"Where's your boyfriend if you have one then? And why is he letting you stay outside and this very hour in the club if he's real huh?" he didn't understand why you were behaving like that.

"For first he's on his way to pick me up and second not everyone is as toxic and possibly possessive as you there's a thing called as trust which he clearly has on me so that explains why he had no problem with me being out at this hour."

He scoffed shaking his head at your words. What were you implying that you getting a boy was going to make him hurt if he was real in the first place.

"Oh is that so? Maybe he's just a rebound to distract you from the fact that you are still not over me. I feel so sorry for him to be the receiver of the heartbreak."

"That's the difference between me and you though. I am not with him because he makes me forget you infact I'm here because he asked me to talk to you otherwise I would have loved to just ignore your existence and go home in his arms."

"Oh so you're in love? Tell me do you love him? Where is he? It's been a while and he hasn't shown up."

"I love him. Ofcourse I do. With every inch of my being I love him."

"And I love you too."

Wonwoo replied as he circled his arms around you from back and kissed your shoulder.

You were surprised at his words. It's been 10 months since you were together but you never really said the L word out to each other.

"Hello. I'm Wonwoo her boyfriend and you must be Seokmin, heard a lot about you."

You could see Seokmin visibly tense at his words as he clenched his fist at the sight of you two.

"Lets go home?" Wonwoo asked as he let go of you and held you hand firmly in his.

"To answer your question I'm real, I'm her boyfriend, she isn't pretending cause a beautiful girl like her shouldn't be single for long and should be taken well care of. And I'm here for that. It was nice meeting you."

With that Wonwoo started heading back to the car.

"I'm not mad at you Seokmin for what you did but I'll never forget. And it's your fault to treat me so terribly thinking that I'll always come back to you. I deserve the happiness too and Wonwoo is great at that. I hope to never see you again."

With that you were off towards Wonwoo and Seokmin stood there dumbstruck unable to process what happened in front of his eyes was real.

He was so engrossed and fed up by his ego that he never really considered the possibility of you leaving him.

He thought just like his ex you'll be stuck up on him too but you were different and he hated himself for losing you just like that.

He was angry at you but he could see how happy were you without him. He could see how happy Wonwoo made you as he saw him kiss your forehead and open the car door for you.

He could see the happiness and comfortness that radiated in your eyes when you heard Wonwoo's voice and he hated that now he wasn't the reason of the twinkle in your eyes.

That someone else was out there making you more happier than you've ever being. He hated himself for thinking that you're an easy catch. He hated himself for hurting you cause he was afraid he was falling for you.

And now he lost you for good and he could finally feel the emptiness inside his heart at your exit.

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immortalcoelacanth · 4 years

Text

HLVRAI Oneshot: Blankets and Burritos

I am weak, I crave gay fluff and family fluff...

Word count: 3428

Summary: Sometimes, Benrey has nightmares. It's a good thing Joshua has a plan to help out!

Gordon had long since accepted that Benrey was a naturally disruptive being. Between how absolutely chaotic he could be at times to his naturally blunt and occasionally abrasive attitude, the second he had moved in Gordon knew that his home would never be peaceful again.

Granted, he had been surprised when Benrey began showing restraint when interacting with people, especially Joshua as the last thing he wanted was to upset the young boy. His jokes also lacked the more intimidating edge they held while they were in Black Mesa. Overall, his more destructive qualities had been toned down and he seemed to be far more at peace than the last time Gordon had seen the ex-guard.

It was… nice, and while he had been hesitant at first to welcome Benrey into his home, he did not find himself regretting that decision.

This did not mean that things were perfectly fine, of course.

Benrey was… not the best at acting human, and it showed. There had already been several instances of Gordon getting up for a midnight snack and seeing at least two glowing eyes staring down at him from the ceiling.

Absolutely horrifying.

Plus, he had been forced to give Benrey a crash course on how humans acted and that no, he could not try and swallow the milk carton whole and please don’t walk up the side of a building and lean into a window to ask someone to play Smash Bros with you.

Y’know, pretty simple things. Things that honestly would have made Gordon’s life a living hell if it was not for how accepting and understanding his neighbors were.

Marguerite, a lovely, partially deaf old lady, had been especially happy to learn that Benrey had moved in with him, although Gordon was pretty sure that this was simply because she thought they were dating. She had been a huge source of help after his divorce, especially during some rather rough days.

She had constantly pushed him to find something, or someone, that he could be happy with. Whether that was a hobby or a partner.

He would never forget how scandalized he had felt when she first visited and saw Benrey. How she had looked the ex-guard up and down before turning to Gordon and winking at him. Her words forever burned into his mind.

“This one will keep you busy, hands and mind.”

It had been one of the few times he had heard Benrey genuinely laugh, too. A loud, somewhat wheezing noise that made him curl up in a ball as he tried to control his laughter. It sounded nice and was something he wanted to hear more often.

And then... there were the nightmares.

Moments where Benny's joy was smothered by something else, something he never expressed a desire to discuss. Gordon honestly had no clue what their source might be, whether caused some traumatic moment in Benrey’s past, or even the final fight between them, but whatever it was it could get bad.

Fortunately, these instances of nightmares were fairly quiet with Joshua never having woken up during them. Less fortunately, Gordon tended to be the one being startled awake since the ex-guard often slipped into his bed after he went to sleep, not that he cared all that much. In the beginning it had been a bit annoying to wake up and find Benrey downright spooning him, getting all into his personal space, and it had been a source of combat for several days until he and Benrey managed to sort things out.

… Not that there was much of a conversation or anything like that. It was more so him listening to Benrey quietly insisting that he “needed someone”, and the gamer body pillow he purchased after that conversation had not helped in this regard.

He loathed to think about it now, the wide eyes and flirtatious pose. Every so often it would move locations, going from being stuffed away in a closet to ominously being attached to the back of a door, and he was fairly certain Benrey was the one responsible for such a thing.

Especially since Joshua claimed to have never seen it before, and he knew for a fact that the ex-guard was diligent in preventing Joshua from being exposed to more… mature jokes.

Anyways, with Benrey continuing to seek out Gordon as a cuddle buddy and Gordon accepting his fate, and enjoying it, a solution to the nightmare problem still needed to be found. Aside from the growling, hissing, thrashing, and mutterings in some other language, Gordon had also nearly been crushed at one point after Benrey had, without warning, grown larger at some point during the night.

He was thankful that the bed had not broken due to the sudden increase in weight.

Currently, the physicist was seated in the living room, trying to put together some sort of solution that might help Benrey. Notepad in hand as he absent-mindedly chewed at the end of his pencil, thankfully lacking an eraser, he wrote down all the methods he had tried so far and what he might try next.

Lists had always helped him keep his thoughts organized, and this was especially helpful given the mild chaos going on beside him.

Otherwise known as Joshua and Benrey playing a racing game.

Naturally, Joshua was currently speeding ahead of the ex-guard, throwing the occasional item back in an attempt to increase the distance between them. Unfortunately, with some quick maneuvers and calculated tricks, Benrey was able to dodge the attacks.

“vroom, vroom, better watch out.”

“Nooooo!”

“beep, beep!”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

“you... you gotta go fast little dude, it’s the only way.”

“I am!”

“gotta go faster.”

“Faster?”

“faster, faster!”

Gordon chuckled to himself as he listened to the pair break out in song, reciting the lyrics to some cartoon that they both watched. Saturday mornings were Benrey and Joshua’s designated bonding time as Benrey “educated josh bro on some pro gamer cartoons.”

As the race reached its conclusion, Joshua winning overall, the young boy carefully placed his controller down and then scrambled over to his father. He flung himself onto the sofa and leaned against Gordon’s side. Wide, eager eyes took in the notes.

“Is this some work stuff?” Joshua asked, his eyes lighting up upon seeing the mention of blankets and pillows. “Are you guys gonna have a sleepover?! I can show you how to make an awesome pillow fort!”

“naaaaah,” Benrey casually slid into the conversation, both literally and figuratively. He perched on the armrest of the sofa, a smug grin on his face as he poked at the notepad. “he-he’s just writing ‘bout his crush.”

“Ooooh, so he’s writing about you?”

“ya.”

Gordon snorted and lightly thwacked one of Benrey’s fingers with the pencil, causing the ex-guard to let out a yelp before nursing the wounded digit. The exaggerated pout on his face made the physicist chuckle.

“C’mon, don’t tell me that hurt you-”

“You gotta kiss it better, dad!” Joshua interrupted, placing his hands on Gordon’s leg and pushing himself up into his father’s face, eyes wide and pleading. “Like you did when I hurt my arm! Kisses make everything better!”

“yeah, feeman you-you gotta give me a biiiiiig old smoocher.” The smug grin had returned to Benrey’s face, and it grew wider at the exasperated look Gordon sent towards him. “it’s... it’s a joshie law, feetman, you gotta.”

After rolling his eyes, Gordon ultimately relented. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss against Benrey’s wounded finger. Despite how smug he had been about the entire situation, there was no denying the heat that took over his face.

Was Benrey flustered? Yes, but he would never admit to it!

“u-uh…. nice smooch there, feetman. g-gotta give it a perfect score.”

Joshua giggled at the look on Benrey’s face, from the happy smile to the warm glow in his eyes, it was good to see the ex-guard so happy. When Benrey was happy, his dad was happy, and that made him happy! It was perfect!

However, speaking of his dad…

“So, what’s those notes for, then?” He asked, poking at the notes once again. “Benrey’s definitely wrong-”

“owie, ouch, your-your words hurt my bones, little joshie dude.”

The young boy stuck his tongue out at Benrey before he focused on his father and continued speaking. “Is it for work stuff? Or something else?”

It was impossible to miss the look the two adults exchanged upon hearing Joshua’s question, and it made him suspicious. Was this some adult thing he was not supposed to know? Oh, like that thing his classmate Danielle had mentioned-

“Erm, Benrey has been having some trouble sleeping at night and I’m trying to figure out how to help him.” Gordon explained, snapping Joshua out of his thoughts. “These are just some of the ideas I had that might help him relax.”

Joshua blinked, understanding what his father was saying but also wanting confirmation from Benrey. “So, you have nightmares and stuff?”

“uh... yeah.” The ex-guard shrugged as his hands twitched and knit themselves together, an expression of the general anxiety he felt towards the situation. Talking about himself, something he was always uncomfortable with despite the problems it caused. “like... i got some rank e dreams, little bro. i... i keep getting t-posed on and… stuff.”

“Oh!” Joshua lightly clapped his hands together, an idea immediately coming to mind on what he could do to help. “Stay right here, I’ll be back!”

As the young boy rushed to his room, Gordon and Benrey exchanged a confused look.

“you... you, uh, know what joshie’s doing?”

“Nope, no idea.” Gordon shrugged before sending a smile Benrey’s way. “It’s nice to see him helping us out with this.”

Benrey looked down towards the ground, casting more of his face and the associated blush in shadows. “yeah. h-he’s a good kiddo, feetman.”

“Damn right he is.”

Not long after this short conversation reached its conclusion, the sound of approaching footsteps could be heard and Joshua rushed back into the room with something rather large and bulky held in his arms, the ends of it dragging across the ground.

It was his blanket, his weighted blanket to be specific.

From a young age, Joshua had suffered through many bouts of nightmares and periods where he struggled to feel comfortable when going to sleep. This ultimately culminated in both his parents, who had been separated at this point, agreeing to take him to a sleep therapist and figure out what they could do to help. One of the methods they had been recommended to try was getting Joshua to use a weighted blanket to help him feel more secure and relaxed.

While not solving all of his problems, he still occasionally visited the same therapist when dealing with a particularly bad bout of nightmares, the blanket, and the other coping methods he had been taught, had certainly helped.

But the blanket continued to remain his primary source of comfort and seeing Joshua rush over to Benrey and hold the blanket out for the ex-guard to take made Gordon’s heart feel like mush.

It was such a wholesome sight, and even if Benrey did not know the details behind why Joshua had this blanket, he was honored to see that Joshua wanted to use something of his to try and help.

“awwww, little dude, you didn’t have to get this for me.” Benrey said, voice strangely soft and quiet. “you-you really didn’t need to.”

Joshua swiftly shook his head and once again thrust the blanket towards him. “This helped me a bunch, and now I want it to help you! Try it!”

After sending an uncertain glance Gordon’s way, and being met with a reassuring thumbs up, he reached out and carefully took the blanket. He studied it for a moment, unaware of Joshua rocking back and forth in front of him and rubbed the material between his fingers.

It felt… nice. Soft, but not too soft.

The blanket was quickly wrapped around Benrey, and the ex-guard closed his eyes for a moment as he took in the sensation. It felt… comfortable. The added pressure of the blanket as it was draped across his shoulders did help him feel a bit more relaxed, reminding him of that.

That which he would never speak of. Old memories and forgotten places, a history that he never wanted to come to light, a name before Benrey.

He quite liked the name Benrey, anyways.

“Oh, oh dad!” Joshua suddenly shouted as he turned to look at his father, eyes shining with excitement. “How about you make a Benrrito!”

“... a wha?”

“Y’know!” Joshua spun to face Benrey as he made a rolling motion with his hands. “Burritoing! Dad does it to me a bunch!”

Upon seeing the somewhat panicked look on Benrey’s face, Gordon quickly stepped in. He stood up, the action helping to calm the other two down, and gestured towards the floor.

“If you wanna try it, we’re gonna need space.”

“you... you coming on to me, feetman?”

“NO, I AM NOT!”

Joshua giggled at the banter, not quite getting it but happy to see that his father had managed to get Benrey to relax a bit. He watched as the blanket was spread on the ground, patted out so there were no wrinkles before Benrey laid down on top of it.

… Actually, Benrey looked a bit smaller than he normally did! Joshua knew most people would find such a thing strange, but he had long since gotten used to the occasional shape shifting that the ex-guard tended to do.

Be it helping him reach food that was too high on the shelves or giving him piggyback rides, Joshua instinctively associated Benrey’s shape shifting with fun, unlike his father.

Perhaps it was quite fortunate that Gordon was unaware of the shenanigans that these two sometimes got into.

Regardless, as soon as Benrey was set up and ready to go, Gordon got to work. He flipped the edge of the blanket, so it was covering Benrey, and slowly started to roll the other man up. As he was turned over and over, the ex-guard’s smile began to grow larger and larger.

Oh yes, he could just feel the potential chaotic energy.

Once the burritoing process was complete, Gordon stepped back to admire his handiwork. At this point, only Benrey’s head and feet were sticking out of the burrito, and the constant glowing of his eyes seemed a bit duller than usual. A stream of pink to red sweet voice floated into the air.

Joshua giggled and immediately started playing with the bubbles while Gordon lifted a brow and crossed his arms. “What’s that mean?”

“bbbbbbbb,” The string of noises made Gordon smile as he patiently waited for Benrey’s response.

“pink’n red means… i’m gonna bed.” Benrey yawned. Okay, chaotic energy replaced by exhaustion, which was… strange to say the least.

And clearly Gordon agreed with that thought as his brow lifted higher in surprise. “Really? A burrito did you in?”

“ya.” Benrey bluntly replied as he wiggled around a bit, smushing his face into the blanket. “s’nice, cozy… me likey.”

“Operation Benrrito is a success!” Joshua cheered, high-fiving his father in victory. He then let out a sudden gasp and started bouncing in excitement.

“Dad, this means we gotta help him get a blanket! Can we go shopping tomorrow? Please? Pretty please? I can show Benrey all the super cool patterns they have, and the special stuffed animals too!”

Gordon spared a glance at the absolutely blissed out Benrey, who was currently radiating the energies of a content cat going for a nap, before smiling at his son and nodding. “Looks like we’re going to need to.”

“Yay!” Joshua exclaimed and crouched down in front of the ex-guard. “There’s a whole buncha space patterns and stuff like that one! There’s also ones that’re swirls of colours and they look super cool!”

“bbbbbbbbbb.” Benrey grinned, sharp teeth glinting in the light. “Alright then, little dude. let’s... let’s goooooooooo.”

And with that, Benrey slowly started inching towards the door as Gordon and Joshua watched on. The young boy took a step forward, thoroughly intending to join him before his dad placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

“No way we’re going out now.” He frowned. “It’s busy, and-”

“the karens are out?” Benrey cheekily added.

“... Yeah, the last thing I want to deal with.” Gordon sighed, placing his face in his hands as he recalled the various interesting encounters he had at that specific mall. It was located in the more affluent section of the neighborhood, and the customers tended to reflect that.

Ugh, with his luck he would probably end up running into her there-

“Joshie, I know you’re excited, so we’ll go tomorrow as soon as the store opens.” He exhaled as he lifted his face out of his hands and opened his eyes. To his surprise, Joshua did not seem disappointed in the slightest despite how enthusiastic he had been earlier.

Granted, it definitely helped that Joshua had been the one to suggest going shopping tomorrow. It was not unusual for his father to forget minor details after experiencing some stress and recalling those lovely interactions has certainly been stressful.

But the young boy felt there was no point in mentioning it, so he didn’t.

“It’s okay, dad!” Joshua chirped. “But you should probably stop Benrey from escaping.”

“Wha?!” Gordon whirled around and noticed that Benrey had continued to inch towards the door and was now pressed up against it. Probably trying to clip through it since his arms were stuck at his sides.

The physicist sighed once more, this time in annoyance, before striding over to the door and looking down at Benrey. “What’re you doing?”

“uhhhhhhhh.... y-yo mama.”

“I...there’s no words to describe how disappointed I feel, and you can’t go out like that anyways.”

“i’mma worm off the string, man. look at me gooooooo.”

“You’re not a worm! You’re a burrito!” Joshua chimed in, leaning around his father and smiling at Benrey.

“noooooo, m-my evil plot… has been foiled.” Benrey dramatically, and somewhat lazily, wailed. He started rolling over to emphasize his apparent defeat. “i’m worming, woooooorming.”

At this point, Joshua had broken down into a fit of laughter and even Gordon had a small smile on his face. Deciding to play along with Benrey’s shenanigans, the physicist made his move.

Now, it goes without saying that Gordon was not a weak man. Even without the added benefits of the HEV suit, he was no stranger to some forms of exercise.

Primarily lifting Joshua up into the air as his son loved to feel like he was flying.

In other words, without warning Gordon crouched down and scooped Benrey, in all his burrito’d glory, up. Rather than being slung over his shoulder, as the ex-guard was still heavier than Joshua and the last thing Gordon wanted was to potentially hurt his shoulder or back, he opted for an easier carry.

Bridal style.

Of course, he had not completely thought his plan through, so when he suddenly found Benrey’s face very close to his, his response was immediately and instinctive.

He blushed, badly.

Upon seeing this blush, and realizing his sudden proximity to Gordon’s face, Benrey smirked and made a move of his own.

By leaning forward and quickly kissing the tip of Gordon’s nose.

Needless to say, at this point both men were blushing.

Joshua could be heard happily clapping his hands together in the background, and it was this noise that snapped Gordon out of his stunned state. He, somewhat awkwardly, shuffled over to the sofa and plopped Benrey down on it. The, still blushing, ex-guard did nothing except try to sink into the blanket burrito further.

It was obvious he had no intention of being unburrito’d, for now.

Gordon sighed and looked over at Joshua. “You okay with using your other blanket tonight?”

“The cowboy one?”

“Yeah.”

“Mhm!” The young boy quickly nodded. “Can you wash it first, please? I don’t want it to be smelly and gross.”

“You got it.” Gordon replied with a thumbs up. As he left to go and fix up Joshua’s other blanket, Joshua could be seen joining Benrey on the sofa and huddling beside him, quietly discussing the different kinds of blankets he had seen and how comfy some of them were. It was quite an adorable sight, and one that held potential.

The potential for Gordon to make two burritos today, that is.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was actually kind of a struggle to finish this oneshot off, it kept getting longer and longer and my muse keeps spitting more ideas at me XD

Also, 10 bonus points to whoever gets the cartoon reference I added in!

I hope you all enjoyed reading!

- ImmortalCoelacanth

#my story #fanfiction #hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #hlvrai benrey #hlvrai joshua #fluff #family fluff #blanket burritos #weighted blankets are good #projecting my childhood on joshua? it's more likely than you think!#benrey just wants to cuddle gordon without his nightmares ruining everything

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warsofasoiaf · 5 years

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Been a while since you did a character analysis essay on New Vegas. Any chance you want to write one up on Joshua Graham or Raul Tejeda?-TBH

What a coincidence. I’ve actually been playing a New Vegas game. I did a Grunt build this time.

Man, I could write a huge longform essay on Joshua Graham, but I need to knuckle down on the second part of my geopolitics essay, currently meandering my way through a paragraph on arms control. My sister had her baby last week so I’ve been having little free time as of late. So I can write one on Raul and I can work on a big one like Joshua Graham after I finish writing my promised essay.

Raul Tejada is a great case study on the effects of growing old with the added wrinkle of a character who is actually immune to aging physically but feels the effects of it mentally, which is a neat twist because part of the process of aging is accepting the inevitability of death while ghouls can theoretically live forever. Sarcastically and fantastically voiced by Danny Trejo, Raul provides some biting comic relief and along with Cass adds the Western element to the game. While the factional struggles with the NCR and Legion, the glitz of New Vegas form the second act of the game, Goodsprings, Primm, and the pursuit of Benny borrows a lot of the hallmarks of Western films, a genre which was a fascinating expression of American culture, both positively and negatively (I could write an essay about that too).

Raul is a classic Western archetype, the old retired gunslinger. Many of the Western cowboy traditions come from Spain via Mexico in the traditions of the vaquero, the Spanish horseback rancher, where it’s even speculated that the term “buckaroo” is a linguistic adoption and corruption of the term vaquero. From an early age, Raul was a colorful character in his Pre-War life, a mechanic and marksman with occasional bouts with the law (I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was a racer as well). After the bombs, Raul and his family tried his best to care for refugees, but limited supplies forced his father to cast them out. The refugees retaliated by setting his farm ablaze, killing his family and only Raul and his sister Rafaela were able to escape. There were a few pursuers, and Raul killed them, but elected to care for Rafaela instead of pursuing vengeance against his family’s killers.

In Mexico City, Raul cared for his sister as best he could, even adopting the vaquero outfit to make her laugh, as morale was important to a family who lost everything. He became a recognizable icon, but this did not solve his problems. For all his silly hat made Rafaela smile and his pistols kept her safe, the legend invited youngbloods to try their luck, just as young hotshot cattlemen in Hays City or Abilene kept trying to make a name for themselves knocking off the legendary Wild Bill after drinking themselves full of liquid courage. Eventually, the radiation sickness got too bad, and Raul was unable to keep himself healthy. In that moment, raiders violated Rafaela in every sense of the word, and Raul hunted them down and killed every one of them, electing for vengeance the way he did not with his other family, for now he was all that was left in the world. Truly, even “Raul” died in Mexico City, as the radiation transformed him into a ghoul, and he elected to take on a new identity as “Miguel,” wearing a dead man’s name as he wore his jumpsuit.

From there, “Miguel” went to Tuscon, where he attempted to distance himself from his gunfighting, what he believed had brought on the misery he suffered, and took on the job of a handyman and mechanic, a valuable skill in the post-apocalyptic scavenging world of Fallout. There was 75 years of peace, and Miguel seemed to find peace and friendship in the form of the locals of Tuscon, now called “Two-Sun,” and the prostitute Claudia. Again, this is a trope straight out of Western fiction, the hooker with the heart of gold, the secret gunfighter, it’s all there. Yet, raiders still persisted, and when Dirty Dave and his compadres came to Tuscon, they bought some ammo, shot up the brothel, and took Claudia hostage. Consumed as he was when Rafaela died, “Miguel” pursued Dirty Dave and killed them to the last, but Claudia was already dead. He fought hard, and clawed his way back to down being pecked by vultures the whole way (shades of Eddie Rickenbacker here after one of his plane crashes). This actually informs why he is so tolerant of the Legion as compared to the other characters, he’s experienced the horrors of raiders first-hand, so those who eliminate them satisfy him in a way others do not. Similarly, as he experienced his mishaps primarily because there was nothing to stop them, he can give the Legion almost a pass for enforcing their brutal kind of order.

Raul was then forced into his dilemma. He felt his age, and was unsure of what to do with himself. Neither embracing nor foreswearing violence brought him any peace, there was always problems. What was he to do with his life, when he could find no achievable destination that gave him comfort? In his travels with the Courier, Raul learns of others who faced the same dilemma he did. Ranger Andy’s arms and legs were injured in a grenade blast, so he took on a mentorship role with Outpost Charlie and even teaches the Courier a handy trick, showing his mind is still sharp if his body has given up on him. Loyal of the Boomers has shown his value in providing his experience to the rest of the Boomers, that he went old with grace and passed down his skills to the young and acted as a leader to them. By contrast, Corporal Stirling of 1st Recon was injured and tortured, but was tough enough to escape. Even though his body was wounded and he was getting older, his patience and eyesight gave him the skill to be an incredible sharpshooter. There were ways out, people had found them, Raul simply hadn’t found them yet. Being exposed to them gives him the resolution he needs to make peace with his decision, that it can be done and he can do it.

If he elects to step down from gunfighting, Raul takes joy in craft, in helping others, and in being a member of a community. He feels value in his knowledge, and can feel comfortable letting the young fight while he guides them, perhaps even training a new group of gunslingers to protect the next community so he doesn’t have to experience another Tuscon. If instead, he elects to take up the outfit of the vaquero again, he takes pride in his experience to continue his crusade. There will always be those who prey upon the weak, and Raul has the knowledge that his eternal life has given him to wear the white hat, to take up the pistols and be the one who sets things to right. If neither happens, then Raul simply takes on a new name and continue to run from his problems.

A great character, worthy of addition.

Thanks for the question, TBH.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

#fallout: new vegas #character analysis

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dejaaalm · 4 years

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Fearless

I remember when I turned 16 years old, my mom brought me to Subway to apply for my first job. Applying and doing the interview was easy, but my first day on the job was really scary. I had so many doubts and questions. Was I ready to work? To make sandwiches in a fast-paced work environment? To provide good customer service? To count money and give back change correctly? I had all the thoughts and worries a 16-year old would have on their first day of working.

I remember the supervisor teaching me how to make all of the different sandwiches - this meat goes in here and this sauce goes with this. I felt fine at first because he was there to guide me. I felt confident and rest assured knowing that he had my back if I messed up. Two weeks after training, I was on my own. I felt lonely and unsure of what to do. I did not want to screw anything up. I still remember the first time I closed the shop all by myself. I had forgotten the password to the safe, how to alarm the store, and how to refill the pop machine. It was a disaster and I remember feeling so overwhelmed and afraid that I would get fired.

This experience made a huge life-long impact on me. The constant battle of feeling so fearful often wrapped its wings around me. When I got my job at Hennepin County in 2016, the adrenaline of fear slowly crept up on me again. My hire group and I were in training for about 2 months and then we were left to be on our own to prove that we were worthy enough to make the cut and be a permanent team member. Previously, probation was 6 months long. Training lasted 2 months and then we have 2.5 months to process cases and have them be reviewed. I needed to pass both months with a cumulative average of 85% or higher to show that I understand policies and procedures.

I witnessed people from the previous hire groups get fired. There were a few people in our group that got fired or left to find a new job. I was mad and irritated with health care policies and processing procedures. I wept and wanted to quit every day. I felt so neglected by my senior colleagues and supervisors. I felt like God left me there to be tormented and slowly die on the inside because every ounce of confidence and pride that I had left within me had gone out the window. I began to question my own worth. Am I cut out for this job? Do I suck this bad? Do these numbers and percentages really depict my worth?

I was angry for a while. One day, I was praying to God about how hurt and mad I was about the probation process. During my prayer, God revealed something so prominent that I will never forget. In the quiet, I heard "But this was the job you desperately prayed for a few months ago. This was the breakthrough you cried for. Now that you have it, you want to quit?" Right at the moment, one of my favorite Bible verses pierced my heart: Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Right then, I stopped crying. I stopped bickering. I stopped venting. I began to praise him and thanked him for all that I have been given. I promised myself that I would work harder and shift my focus from my defeats to my victories. I would allow God to use me, mold me, and take me to where I need to be.

That prayer led me to so many incredible experiences and connections with people at my workplace. This is not to say that I completely stopped feeling fearful, overwhelmed, angry, and anxious because I still feel all of these emotions from time to time. I still feel defeated and have lots of questions sometimes. The difference is that I have a better coping mechanism and I've learned to really do a lot of self-care. Instead of re-evaluating my entire life and mishaps, I focus on realistic goals that I can reach. Instead of feeling sorry or sad for myself when I didn't do something well, I focus on how I can improve. Shifting my mindset and letting God take the lead has really allowed me to take on opportunities at work.

I got two promotions last fall! I got promoted to be a senior and to be a mentor. I train new workers to potentially become a worker like my colleagues and me. I create training materials and activities, facilitate group discussions, train in-person and virtual training courses, and so much more. For the most part, I love my job. COVID-19 has really stretched my co-workers and me in a lot different ways on a personal and mental health level, but we're hanging there and doing our best to provide meaningful training content.

We have two new hire groups. Our Aug 2019 group completed their formal training and case reviews already but we are still providing support to them. Our March 2020 group started at a really awkward time. It happened right after Gov. Tim Walz ordered everything, except for essential workers, to shut down. We've been training everything virtually. We work with a very complex health care system so it's not easy training this stuff virtually.

Before the state was ordered to shut down all non-essential workers and employment, we were gearing up our Aug 2019 group for the formal period--that is to dissect their case work and look for errors. This process is currently on hold. I could see on their faces how stressed out they were. In fact, one of them broke into tears and walked out of the classroom a few months back because she was so overwhelmed by the amount of test evaluations they were taking. I was not there but when I heard about it, I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. All of what they're going through right now is to prepare them to gain the knowledge and experiences needed for their future role as it has done for me.

I think our relationship with God is a lot like that. The beginning stages always feel like we're on cloud nine and things are going smoothly. We happily pray every day, sing songs of praise, read scriptures, and intentionally engage in bible studies with friends. We attend conferences, retreats, and worship events to be filled. We want and search for that feeling of "God is in my life and he's guiding me onto the right path." It feels good to have a sense of direction or feel that God is holding us in the palm of his hands. But what about when we hit rock bottom or get close to it? Or, how about the days when we feel like we're worthless, our life has no meaning or value, or you feel like no one cares about your passion and goals. Even in my own personal walk with Christ, sometimes I feel like that long lost and lonely 16-year old making sandwiches at Subway. I need someone to hold my hand. I hate the process. I hate the struggle. I hate what I'm going through. I need to be reminded of my purpose and that God still has a plan for me.

Often times, I was afraid. I was constantly afraid of doing things on my own, or facing trials and challenges, or trying new things, or believing that God really does have a unique plan for me. I realized that my biggest fear is actually not really a fear. I have a trust deficit. I don't trust myself, my skills and abilities, and sometimes, I don't even trust those closest to me. They say, trust in God because he has a plan for you. How can I trust in God if I can't trust myself and others?

Being fearless is something I struggled with. I'm afraid of so many things but most importantly, I'm afraid of my journey with Christ. I'm afraid to let God take control of my life. I'm afraid of being obedient because I don't know what's ahead of me. If you're anything like me, I like to read spoilers before reading a book or watching a movie or tv show. It is so weird but I do that all the time. I don't want to feel like I wasted my time on something so good but it ended so terribly.

It's easy to look up scriptures and read it and say "Oh, that was really good. I needed that today." This doesn't have any meaning. It's a quick "hand-holding" moment that often times lasts for a few minutes and is forgotten. One scripture in particular that has really been my living testimony the past decade is Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

When I was younger, I always liked this verse. I had it memorized and even recited it out loud whenever I was afraid. But to believe and trust in it was a different process. To see the word of God come to life and manifest in my life was compelling. This bible verse is no longer just an encouraging or inspirational verse. It's alive! It's real. Believe it. Let scriptures come alive.

I don't think it was the struggle of the work or the amount of work that I was afraid of; I was afraid of not knowing what will happen. I was already afraid of the possible negative outcomes if my performance was poor during probation. I was afraid knowing that I was on my own. But God says that we are never alone for he is always with us wherever we go.

During this pandemic, it is completely normal to feel fearful. It is our natural response to a global disaster such as COVID-19. Our social media and news outlets continue to feed us fear. We fear of being disposed to illness, fear of being sick, fear of dying, and fear of running out of food and supplies. Our entire focus is on social distancing and staying safe. Fear has consumed many of us. I encourage you to relinquish your fears today, whatever it may be or what it is related to, and let God take the lead. He knows your strengths and weaknesses and what you are capable of doing more than you know. When you let go and let God, you find the courage and strength to overcome your fears.

It’s easy to fall through the cracks and let the enemy seep through with lies and chaos. Whatever you are going through, know that God is bigger. I often tell my kids to trust me because I know what’s best for them and I know that they don’t know, so in essence, God is the same way. We don’t know what the outcome will be weeks and months from now, but we do know that God is loving, forgiving, kind, and faithful. Call unto him and he will hear you. I am praying for you, dear friend. Be fearless!

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falling-f0r-svt · 5 years

Note

OKAY girlies! Here’s the scenario: it’s a raining evening and you want to play dress up the boys. You dress him up in different items from his closet and do his hair.You can elaborate on how each boy or just a few would respond to it!

thank you for requesting 💕

Okay but I think Minghao would love this so freaking much

Seungcheol:

Would laugh awkwardly when you suggest it not too sure if you’re being serious or whether you’re just kidding around. When you make sure you’re being serious you will probably have to qualify you don’t mean doing his make-up or anything, just a dress up. I think he would want to keep up a tough act, but would eventually give in because you would give him puppy eyes and he has a weak spot for that. In the end he would have loved it though.

Jeonghan:

Would act like he doesn’t want it, but would gladly give in and let you do all of it. Though he agreed to it, and clearly wanted you to do all of this, he would whine and complain about you forcing him to give in to this. But whenever you would say you could stop and do something else if that’s what he wanted, he would immediately get some lame excuse to continue anyways. He would love it and praise the end result for sure.

Joshua:

Looks hesitant at first, but would let you do it. Lowkey loving how excited you were for it and how curiously you looked through his closet. He would praise the end result so much and insist on taking pictures for instagram. Would 100% kiss you afterwards with that smirk on his lips.

Jun:

Would get very excited after seeing how excited you were for it. Might be a little anxious about you going through his closet. Watch him take 600 selfies afterwards though.

Soonyoung:

Will honestly let you do anything. You want to turn his hair into one big spike? He would let you. Want to dress him up in a big fluffy hamster onesie? Will totally support it and love it. Want to do his make-up and turn him into a clown? You go. Will honestly just love the intimacy. As long as you repay him in cuddling after you’ve cleaned up. Will praise the end result maybe a bit too much before pulling you in for cuddles.

Wonwoo:

I’m not to sure whether Wonwoo would let you tbh. I think he would be okay with it as long as he decides what clothing you can pick from. He would go through his closet himself, take out the things he likes and would let you pick from those. He would be okay with you doing his hair. As long as you don’t make it too crazy. Will, however, praise the shit out of the end result.

Jihoon:

Depends on his mood. It’s either “No.” or “As long as you don’t make it too crazy.” He loves you and seeing you so excited would make him happy he gave in anyway.

Seokmin:

Yes. He wouldn’t care at all, you could make it as crazy as you’d like tbh, he’d love everything. He’d play along with it all. You dress him up as a clown? He behaves like one. Dress him up like death himself? He will act like it. And honestly he would praise you so so much when you’re actually finished. He’d look amazing and would make sure you knew he thought so too.

Mingyu:

Would love it but would have trouble giving you all the control. He would let you do anything, but might tell you when a piece of clothing wouldn’t look good with another item you picked. He would try not to and just let you do your thing, but he couldn’t. He would praise the end result, and leave out any critique he may have, to make up for it though.

Minghao:

Would love this so so much. He often gives you fashion advice, though he secretly thinks the way you dress is perfect, and he would love it if you would want to dress him up. He would honestly let you do anything, you could use him as your personal barbie doll. He would even let you do his make-up if you’d want, you wouldn’t even have to ask considering he would suggest that himself. He would look at how happy you looked the entire time, smiling to himself because he found you utterly adorable. When you would present the end result he would praise everything about it, loving how you would blush because of his words. He would want to take a lot of pictures to post on instagram so he could gush about how amazing you are on there too. #s/ofashion

Seungkwan:

Would love it very much but, like Junhui, might get a little shy for what is in his closet. Not that it contains anything embarrassing or something. Would let you do anything as long as it’s not too embarrassing. Will get into it as you go and even lets you do his make-up. Wants a cool picture of the end result so he can post that on instagram and twitter.

Vernon:

Would let you, he doesn’t have anything in his closet that wouldn’t look good so he’s not worried. Would love it if you did a serious job so he could post it on insta, but would also love (and maybe even prefer) if you didn’t do a serious job and make him look funny so he could send it to his sister and make her laugh. Will try to praise you but wouldn’t be very good at it verbally: “Wow, yes. Nice.” will try to show you how great you are in other ways though.

Chan:

Would kind of be insecure “Dress up games are for girls and little children.” But will let you do anything with him once you start pouting. Will love absolutely love it, smiling and joking around. He would love the intimacy that comes with it and would praise the end result so much it’s insane. He would never admit he was wrong for declining at first however, though he obviously does think it.

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stanstraykidz · 5 years

Text

Megalomania - Jihan

Summary - Megalomania (noun) – An unnaturally strong wish for power and control, or the belief that you are very much more important and powerful than you really are. Aka Jeonghan has a huge inferiority complex and Joshuas the new kid that threatens to destroy everything that hes built. ------------- “Everyone knows you, but I don’t think you have any friends.” Joshua had said. It wasn’t a question or an accusation. Just a fact. They were sitting under the open sky, time nearing midnight. Jeonghan was feeling impulsive and vulnerable when he answered. Jeonghan scoffed.” Have you ever seen a god that seeks out mortals?” “You think you’re a god?” Joshua had asked, eyebrow rising. “I’m the closest thing to a god that this world has.” Jeonghan had boasted, a smile forming on his lips. He tipped his head back, closing his eyes as he continued. “Don’t you think so?” The cold air was passing through Jeonghan’s hair, caressing his face, and he knew Joshua was staring at him when he answered. “I think you’re pretty enough to be one, but no. you’re not a god. You’re a man. Weak and mortal like the rest of us. You cry and piss and smoke like men do. And you bleed like men as well”

Words - around 6k

Genre - Angst, enemies to lovers, atlernate universe- high school.

Megalomania (noun) – An unnaturally strong wish for power and control, or the belief that you are very much more important and powerful than you really are.

If you were to ask Jeonghan who he was, a million answers replies would be ready on his tongue. A future king. A conqueror. A charmer. The one that the kids whisper about in parties. When he walks through the hallways as school, head held high and back straight, the embodiment of confidence, the crowds would part for him and he would bask in the knowledge that he is more than any of them could hope to be.

Jeonghan had worked for his power. Clawed and scrambled using everyone else as stepping stones to get to the top. In his mind, the world was his for the taking, and as he sat lazily on his assigned seat in class, the wooden seat would turn itself into a throne, the sunlight falling on his face, accenting the soft highlights on his hair to form a halo, or rather, a crown. He would sit and watch as everyone else turns away when his gaze falls on them, would smirk because they knew this this was. A well-structured play, and Jeonghan was the director, the lead actor and the critic; the rest of them being the minor characters, waiting to be told what to do, hoping for a spot at the limelight that was on him at all times.

When he was 8, he asked his mother where he came from. “God said ‘let there be light’ ” she replied, “and there you were, standing brilliantly before us”. She ran her hand through his hair and smiled at him. “My beautiful, shining boy.” She drew him in for a hug and whispered to him of his importance, of how he was going to grow up to be bright and brilliant and better than the rest.

When he was 10, his mother pointed at the wide expanse of stars in the sky and told him they were all his. That he was prettier and more beloved than all of them put together. The next day, Jeonghan walked down the streets knowing that he outshone the very sun itself.

When he would win at talent shows and competitions, his mother would flatter him with praises and tell him he was the only one who deserved first place. But when he would lose, she would be livid, her eyes bright with anger as she argued with the judges and then stormed out, Jeonghan in tow. She would tell him to work harder, to show everyone how talented and important he was, and even though her anger scared him, he would swallow her praises and savour the sweet taste they left. His mother was not easy to please, but Jeonghan was insatiable, always hungry for more power, for more significance. For more.

Threat (noun) - a person or thing likely to cause damage or danger. When Jeonghan walks into his class, he finds a boy sitting in his seat. The boy was all sharp bones and chiselled cheekbones, the complete opposite of Jeonghan’s soft edges and indulgent features. He bristled at the newcomer, at how his lips were turned at an easy smile as he spoke to the person sitting next to him, at the bright eyes that hinted more than they should. But more than anything, he bristled at the way the classes eyes were on the strange boy, their faces adoring. Jeonghan wanted to grip the boys collar and tell him to leave, tell him that this was all his. His seat, his conquest. His people. When he walked up to his seat, backpack slung over his shoulder, the boy looked up and smiled but Jeonghan face was set in indifference. “That’s my seat.” he said, feeling drunk off of power when the rest of the class quietened as he spoke.

The boy didn’t stop smiling. “The teacher told me to sit here for now”, he said sweetly, but Jeonghan felt the venom that laced his words. “I’m Joshua.” he continued, extending his arm for a handshake.

Jeonghan glanced at his hand, and then back at the boy. “That’s my seat.” he repeated. To be honest, he didn’t care about the seat; he was just desperate to win this too, to regain his spot. He had never lost in his life, not really, and he refused to let this boy with his black hair and shining eyes be the first. “Well then where am I supposed to sit?” Joshua replied, annoyingly calm “That’s not my problem.” he replied, and the air grew thick with tension. This was a scene that he never had to face – a threat to everything he worked for. An unscripted scene that no one saw coming, the plot twist that left every director and critic scrambling to make sense of what was happening.

Before anything else could happen, his homeroom teacher walked in. “Is there a problem here?” he asked, eyes moving between the two boys, and Jeonghan shook his head no. He learnt not to involve the superiors in these types of problems. Besides, he didn’t need their help – his conquests could only be attributed to him.

He placed a hand of Joshua’s back as he passed him to take a seat at the back of the class. It was a gentle touch, simple enough to pass off as an accident. But they both knew the implications behind that simple act. He felt Joshua stiffen under his touch, and smirked to himself when he saw the boy turning slightly to take a better look at him, eyes wide, trying to analyse him. ‘I am better than you.’ Jeonghan thought, leaning back in his chair and Joshua seemed to understand what was happening. But to Jeonghan’s surprise, Joshua smirked and raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘You think so?’ He turned back to face the teacher, leaving Jeonghan feeling unsettled for the first time in forever.

Joshua was in almost all of his classes, ridiculing Jeonghan with his soft smile and sharp cheekbones, quickly becoming a favourite of all his teachers. Jeonghan huffed when he put up his act of polite words and sleek movements, wondering about exactly what kind of monster his pretty face was hiding. When school was over, Jeonghan walked to his lockers to find Joshua standing there, leaning against the wall. Joshua straightened up when he saw Jeonghan, and flashed him a smile.

“What do you want?” Jeonghan asked when he was in front of the other, vaguely aware of how a hush fell upon the hallway.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot” Joshua said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Let’s start again.” he stuck his hair out, that annoying smile on his face again. “I’m Joshua he said, his voice carrying down the hallway, “let’s be good friends.”

Jeonghan quirked an eyebrow, his face impassive even as his heart screamed threat threat threat. “Why would you think I want to be friends with you?” he asked, turning to his locker.

“Ouch” Joshua replied, and Jeonghan knew he was enjoying their exchange from the playfully hurt expression on his face. He cocked his head. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Because no one else seems to “I don’t hate you.” Jeonghan replied. “I just don’t want anything to do with you”

“That’s a pity.” Joshua replied, a mocking smile on his face that made Jeonghan rage boil. Warning bells were ringing in his head, his brain putting up extra walls and defences against an unknown, unexpected threat. “I was going to invite you to this huge party I’m throwing tonight.” He smiled slyly, “I was so wishing you’d be there.”

Jeonghan actually huffed out loud this time. He’d thought Joshua was smarter than this. Trying to bribe Jeonghan with a party was something a second grader would do.

“No thanks,” he replied, turning around and walking away. “I have better things to do.”

Combat (verb)-take action to reduce or prevent (something bad or undesirable).

Jeonghan was running.

He was out of the door before he knew what was happening, his legs carrying him faster than he thought was possible. He knew that no matter how hard he ran, he couldn’t outrun his thoughts, and yet he ran. Ran until he was red faced and panting heavily and his sides hurt from the sudden physical exertion.

It was the night of Joshua’s party and the idea of showing up unannounced had crossed his mind several times. A ridiculous idea. He was Yoon Jeonghan - he didn’t run after anyone. The people probably weren’t even enjoying, Jeonghan had thought, but when he pulled out his phone, his snapchat was filled with stories of his classmates having fun, dancing drunk on tables and laughing wildly. Now, not only did Jeonghan want to go, but he also had to pull off something bigger and better than this. Something truly unforgettable.

None of this would have happened if it weren’t for Joshua freaking Hong. The black haired boy had strode into Jeonghans life and charmed everyone with his soft smiles and gentle features. But Jeonghan could tell that there was more to him than meets the eye - could tell from the way his eyes sparkled with joy when Jeonghan threatened him, the way that he would met Jeonghan cold gaze and dint immediately look away.

Jeonghan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. What was he doing? Why was he getting so worked up? He prided himself on control - control over himself, control over the people around him. And now everything was slipping away. He turned around and walked silently back to his house, ignoring the slight ache in his legs and the way his mind kept wandering back to a certain black haired boy.

The next day at school, the whispers of Joshua’s party followed him around, and by the end of the day Jeonghan was considering just waking out. Apparently, it was a huge success, the booze good and the playlist kept everyone on their toes all night long. The only thing that seemed off was that the host had disappeared halfway throughout the party, only reappearing to let everyone know that they were free to spend the night if they were too drunk to drive home.

He had been there in the beginning, welcoming each guest with a red solo cut of warm alcohol, but disappeared when the party was in full swing. He was nowhere to be found and rumours of a secret girlfriend had already started to spread through the corridors.

To make matters worse, Joshua didn’t even come to school the next day. Why start something you can’t finish Jeonghan thought, rolling a blunt in the cool comfort of his house. It was empty of course, his mother had packed her bags and went to ‘seek an adventure’ around 6 months ago, and Jeonghan didn’t even remember the last time he saw his father.

When his mother left, he tried to pretend like he was enjoying the freedom, but every time he walked into the empty house after a hard day; he couldn’t help but crave her fingers running through his hair, and her soft voice telling him how well he did, and how he was going places.

He took a drag of the blunt, watching the smoke dance as it floated away. He had never been much of a smoker, but o nights that he needed to relax and let o, he found himself reaching for the lowest drawer of his desk and the weed that was carefully stored there.

Jeonghan almost laughed when he realised that it was still hidden away. How, even after months of his mother’s disappearance, he still couldn’t bring himself to just relax and keep it somewhere that didn’t make him feel like a fumbling 17 year old, sneaking cigarettes and blunts into his room while keeping a wary eye on his mother.

Perhaps a part of him was still waiting for her to come back.

Before he knew it, he was outside, walking through the cold streets of Seoul with a thin, hastily thrown on jacket hanging from his shoulders. The four walls of his empty, suffocating house had been too much, and his weed addled brain just wanted out.

He wanted out.

Not just out of his house of out of his head, but out of this small town. Jeonghan craved something physical that wasn’t the blunt still burning between his fingertips. He wanted greatness, glory, wanted to do something that made people turn and stare. He wanted to travel the world and conquer everything in his path. Sometimes, he swears that he can see the gold of ichor running through his veins, reminding him of his greatness. Sometimes, if he listened closely, he swears that he can hear the stars asking him how he shone so bright, their voices tinged with envy. But tonight, under the blanket of the sky, he couldn’t hear anything but the silence, and he wanted to scream to pierce the heavy, thick sound of nothingness.

He realised that he had stopped walking and was now standing outside Joshua’s house, his wandering feet taking a path that he didn’t recognise. The house in front of him was unfamiliar – sharp, modern and brightly lit. It looked uncomfortable in the row of old, traditional houses in the area, as though all 3 stories of the imposing house were trying to shrink and hide beneath each other.

The door opened, and Joshua walked out, black trash can cover in hand. Jeonghan tuned his face to avoid being seen, but he was too slow, and he knew that Joshua caught a glimpse of his face.

He stared at the pavement with immense feigned interest, face burning with the embarrassment. And then Joshua was beside him, touching his shoulder hesitantly and telling him that it was warmer inside. Jeonghan shook his head at the offer face burning .something about being in enemy territory flashed through his mind but his refusal was more out of stubbornness than anything else.

Joshua sighed. “Wait here.” he muttered squeezing Jeonghan shoulder before going back into his house.

Jeonghan waited, took a final drag of his blunt and then crushed it under his foot, the drug coursing through his veins.

Joshua returned after a while, a blanket and a Cup of hot chocolate in his hand. Wordlessly, he sat on the pavement; legs spread across the road and patted of the space beside him. After a second of hesitation, Jeonghan sat as well; his too long legs awkwardly folded beneath him and felt Joshua wrap the furry blanket around him. There was a warm feeling in his chest and he didn't know if it was because of the drugs or because of the boy sitting beside him.

“You didn't show up for the party.” Joshua muttered, taking a sip of his drink. The stars above leaned closer anxious to hear the exchange. The sound of cars and people from the other end of the street were distant noise, fading. The grand stage was set, the curtains were drawn and the play had finally begun.

“I told you I wouldn't be there.” Jeonghan huffed, but the words came out softer than expected, lacking any bite.

“Still”, Joshua replied, looking at the steam coming from the hot Cup. “I thought you'd be there.”

“Stop thinking you have me all figured out.” Jeonghan said, suddenly defensive and annoyed. The words came out angrily and splattered on the pavement but its harshness lingered in the air like gunpowder.

The warm Cup of hot chocolate was pressed into his hand. Jeonghan stared at it for a second before taking a sip, feeling the warmth from the drink seep in. “I heard that you were barely present for the party anyway.” Jeonghan said, “Apparently you disappeared right after everyone arrived.”

Joshua turned to face him and Jeonghan realized how close they were sitting. Their shoulders were lightly touching and Joshua was close enough the Jeonghan could count the hairs of his eyelashes, could see the faint smudge of eyeliner in the corner of his bright, twinkling eyes.

If he leaned forward, even a little, they would be kissing.

Jeonghan ducked, taking another small sip of his drink, letting his longish hair cover the redness of his face.

“I don't really care much about parties”, Joshua explained. “The only reason I threw that party was because I wanted to catch your attention. I only decided to throw a party during that conversation with you in the hallway.”

Jeonghan swallowed too much of his drink in surprise wincing slightly at how it burned his tongue. You have my attention, he wanted to say. You have all of it. But he didn't. Instead, Jeonghan hummed, trying to feign indifference, and pushed the hot chocolate back into Joshua’s hands.

It felt so right, sitting there on the cold pavement with only a blanket covering the boys from the cool night air.

Tomorrow morning, Jeonghan will wake up and pretend like none of this happened, and Joshua will do the same. And Jeonghan doesn’t know whether that makes him feel better about this whole situation or makes him feel even worse.

“You’re driving me insane.” Jeonghan said, and the night stretched on ahead; cold and empty to the world but to Jeonghan, it felt a bit like happiness.

Downfall (noun) - A sudden loss in power, prosperity or wealth

The next morning, Jeonghan walked into his homeroom class and plopped down into his seat without sparing Joshua a glance. When the high of the drugs wore off after that night, and Jeonghan was walking home alone with only the moon as company, he tried to regret what had happened. It was stupid – he had walked right into enemy territory and had shared hot chocolate with the very person he wished would disappear. But then Jeonghan remembered the warmth he felt, the way he chest felt funny when Joshua had laughed at some joke he made, and realised that he enjoyed it more than anything else.

And that terrified him.

So that day, he was determined not to let anything sway him. He was Yoon Jeonghan, he didn’t need other people, and he didn’t want them. He had himself, and over the years, he had realised that he couldn’t count on anyone else. This was His story and he was not going to let anyone get in the way of his success.

Not even pretty black haired boys with gentle smiles and kind hands So he went through the day like he normally would, and completely ignored the other boy. He focused on his work, on retaking his land and people. Whispers followed him wherever he went, and he was used to them by now. But this time, they were not whispers of awe and adoration. They were snide muttered comments and sceptical eyes staring his way. But the second he lay his eyes on them, their wandering mouths would turn silent, and their eyes lowered to stare at a stop on the floor. Jeonghan would smirk, and they would all hide for cover. This was the high that he was chasing last night – the high of being loved and feared at the same time. The high of being a king. And no drug could compare to the rush of power he felt in that moment.

He was leisurely walking through the streets on his way back home, when Joshua caught up with him.

“Are you done ignoring me yet?” he asked, fingers in his pockets.

Jeonghan gripped the edge of his bag, mourning his lack of peace. “What do you want?”

Joshua sighed, heavy and exaggerated a mocking smile on his face. “I thought we were past this phase.” he complained.

“Listen”, Jeonghan said, stopping and turning to face Joshua. “Forget everything that happened yesterday. It doesn’t mean we're friends now or that i want you around me. I thought i made that clear today. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Joshua cocked his head to the side, as though he was considering his answer. “I'm not sure”, he said slowly.” At first, I just wanted to have some fun and you seemed easy to get to. But now”, he shrugged, “you make me curious. I can’t help myself anymore.”

“Well learn how to”, Jeonghan barked, turning away, “we're both better off without the other in our lives.”

Rats scurried into their hiding holes, and for a fraction of a second, the alley seemed to grow darker. Jeonghan sometimes thought that if he were to be the god of anything, it was most likely that he was the god of destruction. He couldn’t help but seek out beautiful things. And he couldn’t help but leave them broken when he eventually got bored and walked away.

Joshua snorted. “You don’t get to make that decision for me”, he said. “You don’t get to decide what’s good for me.”

When Jeonghan turned to look at him, Joshua’s face was half hidden in the shadows and half illuminated by the strands of sunlight that had crept into the ally. He looked godlike, ethereal even. A creature of light and darkness.

“Let’s stop this.” Jeonghan sighed, “Before it gets too far. Because i take and take and then leave. You deserve a lot better.”

Joshua looked angry now, his delicate features growing harsh. “Why do you keep trying to convince me that you’re such a monster?” he demanded, a frown set on his face. “This isn’t who you are and you know it”

“Don’t.” Jeonghan said, the words coming out harsh, and his own rage bubbling under his skin. “Don’t try to get inside my head. Stop it.”

“Or what?” Joshua asked, tipping his head high to stare Jeonghan right i the eye. “What are you going to do?” He let out a laugh bitter and emotionless. “You think you’re all that great but i bet you’re all talk.” He took a step closer to Jeonghan, breaths coming out fast and loud, a bit of madness creeping into his eyes. “What are you going to do?” he breathed

So Jeonghan pushed him. Shoved him with all the force he could muster, sending him stumbling against the brick wall. Joshua laughed again, crazy and unhidden.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Joshua taunted, eyes bright bright bright. “That was weak”, he whispered, and Jeonghan moved again, anger flaring its ugly head ,hands going to grab Joshua’s collar, fists bunching against the fabric.

Shut up, he growled, his fingers tightening until his knuckles were almost white. The other boy tilted his head, a smile still on his face, madness still in his eyes. His usually neat hair was dishevelled, falling into his eyes and sticking out in all directions. And Jeonghan wanted to mess him up more, wanted to know what Joshua Hong looked like when he lost control

One second, he was gripping Joshua’s collar, ready to punch him. The next, he was kissing him. After a second of shock, Joshua kissed him back, rough and furious. Jeonghan could feel the anger in the press of his lips, the madness in the way Joshua pressed his fingers to his waist with bruising intent. The kiss was messy and rough, teeth clanking and hands wandering. Jeonghan held on to Joshua like he was his lifeline, not pulling back even when his lungs were heavy from the lack of oxygen and their teeth clanked. It was messy and uncoordinated, but Jeonghan felt eternal in that moment. Nothing else existed except the feel of Joshua’s lips against his, his hand skimming under Joshua’s shirt, the way they gripped each other without wanting to let go.

And then, too soon, they were pulling away, breaths coming out hard and heavy, the familiar buzz of arousal roaring through his veins.

They stared at each other for a second, both unsure of what to say.

Jeonghan turned, hands gripping the strap of his backpack,” I gotta go.” he said, trying to control his racing breaths. He ran a hand through his now dishevelled hair, and from behind him, Joshua spoke.

“You’re not a monster.” he said simply, and despite all his thoughts of just leaving, Jeonghan found himself looking back for just one last glance.

The sight knocked the air from his lungs.

Joshua stood, a hand touching his lips as though he couldn’t believe what had happened. His hair was messy, shirt half ridden up because of Jeonghan wandering fingers. The madness in his eyes had subsided, leaving gentleness behind, and suddenly, Jeonghan wanted to cry

“You’re not a monster.” Joshua said again, looking at him right in the eyes.

Jeonghan shot a watery smile his way “I’ve gotta go.” he said again, his voice quiet and helpless. He mustered his courage and turned around, walking into the grey roads and busy streets, away from Joshua’s heavy stare.

The words followed him back to his house, spinning around his mind and wrapping themselves around his bones. You’re not a monster, Joshua had said. But then again, what did he know.

See, what Jeonghan feared most was not spiders or Heights. It was the possibility of being forgotten. It was the thought that one day his name too would get lost in history like the countless people before him and the many that would come after. So Jeonghan did his best to be remembered. He threw the wildest parties, participated in every trending challenge- did anything that made him forget his mortal insignificance. Eventually, he drew himself into something bigger and better .something that would outlive them all. Drew himself into a monster --the kind of monsters that have an acid tongue hiding behind a row of white Pearly teeth; neat, trimmed nails that would scratch and grab until he got what he wanted. His angelic features drew people in and then, he would grab them by the collar and demand they kneel. And like fools, they would. They all would. Except Joshua, that is.

Joshua stared back at him, eye to eye, made him want to quiver, made his empire wobble. He told him the facts as they were, even when Jeonghan denied them. Pushed and pushed until Jeonghan allowed himself to be swept away.

Jeonghan entered his house, quiet and empty as always. Joshua Hong is going to be the cause of my destruction he thought, and his mind wandered back to a particular conversation they had had the night before.

“Everyone knows you, but I don’t think you have any friends.” Joshua had said. It wasn’t a question or an accusation. Just a fact. They were sitting under the open sky, time nearing midnight. Jeonghan was feeling impulsive and vulnerable when he answered.

Jeonghan scoffed.” Have you ever seen a god that seeks out mortals?”

“You think you’re a god?” Joshua had asked, eyebrow rising.

“I’m the closest thing to a god that this world has.” Jeonghan had boasted, a smile forming on his lips. He tipped his head back, closing his eyes as he continued. “Don’t you think so?”

The cold air was passing through Jeonghan’s hair, caressing is face, and he knew Joshua was staring at him when he answered. “I think you’re pretty enough to be one, but no. you’re not a god. You’re a man. Weak and mortal like the rest of us. You cry and piss and smoke like men do. And you bleed like men as well”

It was a simple fact, a fact that Jeonghan liked to ignore. But to him in that moment, it felt like a threat, and Jeonghan drew the walls around his fortress, confusing the worry in Joshua’s voice as danger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jeonghan had said, opening his eyes to look at Joshua.

But Joshua just sighed, burrowing closer into his blanket. The intensity in his eyes enough to make Jeonghan want to look away. But he didn’t. He met the other boy eye to eye, cocking his head in his direction. A challenge. “What are you running away from?” Joshua had asked then, his voice sincere. “What do you think is going to happen if you stop to breathe?”

‘I’m going to collapse’, Jeonghan remembered wanting to say. He had wanted to scream – wanted to wreck the city up, tear it apart with his bare hands and rebuild it into something majestic and grand and kind. He wanted his mother to reappear, he wanted to push Joshua against the nearest wall and find out what it felt like to have his plush lips against Jeonghan. But he couldn’t, and if he stopped even for a second, the walls holding him together would crumble – he would crumble. And after holding himself tall and proud for his whole life, Jeonghans pride would not allow it.

So he kept up his facade, “you don’t want to know.” He had replied instead, feigning confidence, trying to sound dark and dangerous. Joshua could probably see through his act, but he didn’t say anything, instead choosing to lean his head against Jeonghan shoulder. Joshua pointed at the constellations, at the stories spread out across the sky, and Jeonghan felt the well of tears in his eyes as he heard Joshua talk. He wanted to tell the other boy that he was more beautiful than all the celestial bodies, that he was the only person that made Jeonghan feel this vulnerable.

“Joshua Hong is going to be my destruction,” Jeonghan thought again, flopping down into a chair, lips tugging up at the corners, “but never before has destruction felt this sweet.”

Ruin (noun) - the physical destruction or disintegration of something or the state of disintegrating or being destroyed.

Jeonghan spent the whole night tossing around in bed, going over what had happened. The moon shone down on his but on that night, Jeonghan didn’t feel any sense of importance, wasn’t able to hear he stars whispering or the wind whispering the secrets of the world. On that night, Jeonghan felt like he lost something. There was a hole in his chest that he had not ever experienced before. An emptiness, the kind the consumed him from the inside.

The next day, Jeonghan walked into class and made a beeline for Joshua’s desk. The other boy looked up, dark hair falling into his eyes, but didn’t smile. “Let’s meet up after school today.” Jeonghan said before he could stop himself, and the words echoed around the silent classroom. His classmates leaned in next to each other, eyes fixed on the pair. But Jeonghan didn’t look at them, didn’t care. Joshua lifted his chin, rolling his eyes, “What, for you to run away again?” he scoffed, and Jeonghan wished, for the millionth time, that he didn’t walk away last night. “I’m here now.” Jeonghan insisted, fingers curling desperately on the strap of his backpack, to ground himself. “I don’t plan on going anywhere soon.”

A second of tense silence passed before Joshua nodded, and Jeonghan felt his shoulders relax. He almost smiled, the corner of his lips lifting up slightly. “I’ll see you later then”, he said, “I know a place that sells the best milkshakes in Seoul.”

Joshua snorted, “Okay but you’re paying.”

Jeonghan actually smiled at this, a huff of laughter forcing it way through his mouth. Joshua looked up in surprise. But Jeonghan just shook his head and made his way to his own desk, ignoring the whispers that broke out in the room. For the rest of the day, he was in a bit of a daze, going through the motions but not really paying attention. The whispers followed him around school. But for once, he didn’t give it much though. This mind was filled to the brim with thoughts of a black haired boy who kissed like he was never going to let go. The two of them met outside after school, and walked to a little café in 25th street, right next to the barber shop and the old apartment complex that looked like it had never been renovated.

The walk was relaxing- the both made small talk about school and their grades, but somewhere along the way they established a pattern amongst both of their dynamics. It was comforting, to walk through Seoul with a cute boy and talk about jihoons new red mullet, or about how soonyoung was in charge of this years prom and was undoubtedly going to decorate the whole place with frills and leopard prints. Silly, mundane things that made everything feel less terrifying.

“This is my favourite place in the whole city”, Jeonghan said when they reached. The bell chimed as they entered, the warm smell of coffee and baked break surrounding them, instead of the musty and polluted air of the city.

“It’s really cosy.” Joshua commented, looking around with a fond look.

Jeonghan remembered how his mother used to bring him here on good days. On days when she’d clean up and sprinkle perfume in the stuffy air of their house, trying to get the place to smell like apples and wildflowers. She used to laugh out loud on the good days, twirling Jeonghan around till the boy was dizzy and giggling with her. She used to ring him to the café and buy him a strawberry milkshake, and tell him about her childhood. He didn’t know whether a word of it was true, but it was the only proper bonding moment he had with his mom. His mom- who loved him for the sense of importance he gave her, instead of for himself as a person. So he sat eagerly while she talked, and laughed loudly when she joked and hoped that it would be enough.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when Joshua pointed at a pair of well worn, but comfortable looking sofas, and suggested sitting there. The cloth of the sofa was faded in some places, strings coming out slightly at the edge. But it felt warm, and Jeonghan wondered how many moments of love the sofa must have encountered, to be this warm, even when there was no need to be.

“So,” Joshua began after they ordered their drinks, “wanna tell me why you suddenly wanted to meet, after ignoring me ever since I joined?” “I’m sorry about last night.” he said as way of reply.

Joshua huffed lightly, “What are you sorry for. Kissing me? Or running away after?” “Running away. I don’t-,” he stopped, not knowing what to say, he had never done this before, had never had to explain himself for to be accountable for anything before. But Joshua was sitting across from him, pursed lips, arms crossed and Jeonghan was desperate not to mess this up. “I was scared.” he said finally. “You’re not anymore?” Jeonghan shrugged, looking away. “Just realised that even if this all does burn apart and crash, I would have liked to experience it”

Joshua didn’t say anything, and when he spoke, he sounded slightly offended. “So you’re here with me in this nice café because you wanted to experience it?” Jeonghan cringed at Joshua tone. “No I–“ he paused and looked up. He realised that this was a chance to be honest, to be really truly honest, and it wasn’t a chance that many people got.

“I’m saying that we’re all going to die someday and no one I going to remember us. Someday the sun is going to explode and there will be no one to remember Cleopatra or Caesar, let alone the two of us. And that bothered me for a long time – it still does. But now, somehow, it feels like even if I can’t be anything to the rest of the world, it’d be enough for me if I can be something to you.”

Joshua seemed lost for words, blinking when Jeonghan fixed his stare on him. “Shit,” he said finally, “how the heck am I supposed to reply to something that smooth?”

Jeonghan laughed nervously, “Just say what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking about how I want to go over to my place after this and kiss you again.” Jeonghan swallowed, anticipation tingling in his veins, “We could start with that.”

-----------------------------

A/N - I have no idea why im writing a 6k word fic when im knee deep in finals but here it is !! i had a lot of fun writing this and i hope yall like it !!! its kinda diff from my usual writing style and stufff so im glad it came out well.

As always, please like and rb if you liked it and dont hesitate to let me know what you thought !!!! your feedback always makes my day uwu

#fanfiction #jihan #seventeeen #mine #joshua #jeonghan #dont let this flop ahhhhh #but seriously i had a lot of fun writing this #enjoyyy

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philosophicalsunflowers-blog1 · 5 years

Text

SVT as CSI members

SEUNGCHEOL: The lead detective and the one who’s in charge of the whole team. tough on the outside but actually has soft spots for literally everythinG. is bossy but it ultimately did’t stop his team to boss over him too sometimes (re:most of the times)

JEONGHAN: Definitely the interrogator. He has his ways with mind games and convincing people to do as they’re told. He’d trick all suspects into confessing with his mind games that could literally brainWASH people if he wishes to do so.

JOSHUA: Ballistics. His careful and meticulous nature will come in handy in handling all sorts of evidence and keeping them safe and organized. Also let’s be honest his twinkly eyes would look extra gorgeous behind those lab glasses

JUN: Profiler. We all know that behind his clumsy and clueless exterior, he’s actually a human computer that records and remembers everything. That’s why he’d make a perfect profiler, he’d be able to read patterns and keep track with each and every case

HOSHI: That one eccentric detective-slash-scientist who always finds his own way in solving everything. experiments with unorthodox ways of problem solving and would ask for more budget to buy weird lab accessories to experiment with

WONWOO: HACKER. no doubt. He’d work all night in front of his monitor, wrapped around his oversized hoodie wearing a beanie and his round glasses hanging on the bridge of his nose while his intelligent ass decode the hell out of everything and then spend the next day reading sappy books with a bag of chip on hand

WOOZI: He’d be the one that they always send for undercover jobs just because why not he’s perfect for it. he’s a genius chameleon with the deduction level of 007. could blend well in many situations from being a school kid to fake drug dealers, he’s done it all

DOKYEOM: a killer sniper with excellent aiming skills. that one beamingly cheerful guy in the team who brings coffee trays every morning and would willingly cover for his pal’s paperwork.

MINGYU: the multifunction intern. i don’t know why but i feel he would be perfect for the versatile new guy character especially with his sponge-like brain he’ll be able to learn everything super fast. even so, he still gets rejected in ballistics and bomb squad quite often due to his clumsy nature

MINGHAO: bomb squad. he’s fearless and is always up for a new challenge plus his figure would look great in a protective jumper suit that bomb squad wears. his soothing voice and calm way of speaking really help in handling critical situations.

SEUNGKWAN: paramedics. his caring nature and quick way of thinking had helped many victims. always very considerate and practical on the field but his soft heart would always ache for the victims after his work is done. tries his best to not show weakness when he’s on duty since it might distract him from his work

VERNON: he’s that one special journalist whose assigned to report all the cases handled by SVT Crime Scene Investigation Team. he’s full of curiosity and is very attentive. has a bright, intuitive and logical way of thinking that sometimes he helps the team solve many cases just when they thought they’ve hit rock-bottom

CHAN: a field cop, always number one to arrive at the crime scene and is able to take step one control on the situation. even though he’s the youngest, he’s quite mature for his age and also very very hardworking that the rest of the team really admire his work ethics

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thesinglesjukebox · 5 years

Video

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BILLIE EILISH - BAD GUY

[6.93]

The Jukebox has thoughts on Billie Eilish? Well, duh.

Andy Hutchins: Nothing clicked for me with Billie Eilish until "Bad Guy." I understood the appeal intellectually, because it has sometimes been my wheelhouse: "Prodigy-cast makes off-kilter pop music from a perspective with more than a little precociousness and possibly a feminine spin that serves to disrupt rather than reify" is my jam for months at a time, sometimes. But some combination of prodigy and precociousness sometimes striking me as preciousness -- something that I've occasionally found issue with in the work of Sky Ferreira and Solange and Lorde and Cher Lloyd and fka twigs and Haim and Kacey Musgraves and Lana Del Rey and so many women who have occupied this same treacherous lane where deviating from delivering what is expected from a young woman making pop music can offend the sensibilities (or engage the biases) of even someone who has strained to stave off the stupidity of dismissing music made by young women and largely intended for young women -- and what I read as a deliberately dark and standoffish aesthetic put me off of Eilish, whose stuff just didn't compel me. Everything clicks for me with Billie Eilish now that I've heard "Bad Guy," which I reckon is pathetic on my part, because so much of the DNA of "Bad Guy" is in other work she's done that the things that differentiate it as The Hit and The Breakthrough come down to tempo and a kooky synth run in the hook that every third YouTube commenter thinks is stolen from Plants vs. Zombies. But "Bad Guy" is also an unassailable pop song and has come along at a time when bulletproof ones are not occupying the charts -- the closest competition in the current top 40 by my sight is, like, a Katy Perry song whose verses let down its magnificent hook, a bunch of drowsy-to-dire Khalid and Halsey tunes, a C- effort from Taylor Swift, and a microwaved Lizzo track that I've known of for a while and don't consider her best stuff -- and so it stands out even more from the pop metagame than the larger Eilish oeuvre does from a host of less realized tunes. And I'm a sucker for an unassailable pop song, especially one with a vocal initially delivered so low that it demands attention to the dial in the car but that is by turns brightly funny ("...duh!") and world-weary and campy to the hilt (the titular phrase being stretched to a titanium crocodile's rasp), a relentless bass line that sounds like a monster's heartbeat echoing in a cave, and lyrics that constitute a semi-sincere embrace of some Lolita tropes and a more powerful sarcastic destruction of them while somehow also being fully ready for Instagram captions and Twitter display names and ... well, no one's on Tumblr anymore. But that's hardly Billie's fault, and I'm not docking points for only barely failing to raise the dead with a virtuosic song that makes me this glad to be alive. [10]

Alfred Soto: There's a reason this song has become the breakout hit besides its insidious keyboard hook: Billie Eilish sings not mumbles the gender bending hook. Otherwise a ditty that the top 40 could use more of; its quietness is a tonic. [8]

Joshua Copperman: Sounds great, looks great (if possibly plagarized), memes great. The deadpan anti-sexuality of "might-seduce-your-dad type" is "Guys My Age" done right. The delivery of "my soul, so cynical" like even that is too earnest of a statement. The only weak part is the ending switch-up. But you knew all that already. Duh. Besides the cries of "industry plant!" there's also the ongoing sense that Eilish is a music writers' idea of what a 17-year-old Tumblr-born pop star would sound like. And sure, she's a young music writers' dream; I have a byline at Billboard because of her. But also, it's genuinely smart music that is mostly set to age well, even if it's hard to tell if it m a t t e r s. Who knows what 17-year-olds of any predilection towards seducing dads are actually listening to; I'm 21 and finding that out is only getting more difficult, if maybe not more necessary. If teens still control popular culture, if anyone does, who knows if this really does reflect them, or if its bottomless angst is mocked like Limp Bizkit? Is "Bad Guy" just "Heathens" for the late-2010s? Does this really represent the next generation? And which next generation; the shit-talking saviors, or the ones just like their parents and the radicalized alt-right kids? There's no easy answer to any of these, no "duh" to shrug them off. But there is Eilish and co. applying the daily grind of apocalyptic dread to smaller-scale topics. Processing death on "Bury a Friend," processing one's own body image on "idontwannabeyouanymore," processing changing gender roles here. Finding your place in 2019 is a lot for anyone. No one is getting it right. What Eilish does instead is turn that uncertainty to playfulness, confidently existing within the mess instead of trying to find her spot. [8]

Leah Isobel: I was on Tumblr in 2011, so "might seduce your dad type" doesn't feel as provocative as she might intend. (Also, Halsey did the exact same thing.) Besides, pop is a space for fantasy and role-playing, and she's not the first 16-year old bad girl to make adults freak out a little. What gets me is that the song itself is a brilliant production piece in search of an equally compelling melody; the biggest hooks here are an audible eye-roll and a Tim Burton rip. I love the idea of Billie as a goth-teen-pop star, and the choice to swerve into a spooky outro instead of a more traditional structure is genuinely a lot of fun, but this all feels like so much posturing -- normal for a teenager, but not that compelling to listen to on its own. [6]

Katherine St Asaph: If Billie Eilish is the Gen Z Fiona Apple, which I've heard from about three separate people even before the Discourse started, then "Bad Guy" is her "Criminal," down to it being creep flypaper. Everyone quotes that one dad line a bit too eagerly, like they're subconsciously thinking that if they have the pithiest take they just might get to be the dad. (It isn't even the most suggestive line.) There's a strong case for the dad being the bad guy, if only because he's, well, the guy. But "Bad Guy" lives in the world of teenage politics, where the guys just are and the girls get their badness thrust upon them, and their choices are to shrink away or play along. Duh. ("Bad Guy" : "duh" :: "Your Love Is My Drug" : "I like your beard.") But all this is pretty serious analysis for a fundamentally trolly song: half-mumbling the melody to a beat I'm pretty sure I made in a high school to go with a video project; rhyming bad/mad/sad/dad like a Mavis Beacon keyboarding tutorial (or whatever the kids have now; maybe they're just born typing); crooning an exceedingly Lana Del Rey-ish "I'm only good at being bad" then immediately cutting that crap for a bassy, fuck-off breakdown; filling only about 60% of the song with, like, song. [6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Not the most impressive or cohesive Billie Eilish song, but it is the one most likely to remind you of how fun her music can be (that she included the Invisalign skit in the video helps). The coda is fine, but the best reversal is found elsewhere: the nonchalant cries of duh followed by a cartoonish synth melody, underlining just how playful the song's darker elements are. [6]

Josh Langhoff: Eilish sometimes sounds like the Cardigans if they only did Black Sabbath covers, "evil" squeezed between an extra set of scare quotes, and sometimes she's Nellie McKay on downers, ennui shaped like wit but without the laughs. Sometimes she's good and sometimes she sings ballads. And somehow that combination produced "Bad Guy," the elusive Somehow Perfect Pop Song That Sounds Like Nothing Else On The Radio. I can't say I love it, but all her murmuring and posturing makes Top 40 radio seem, after too many years, like a playground of endless possibility. What'd we do to deserve this and "Old Town Road"? [8]

Jessica Doyle: Yes. Some are red, and some are blue. Some are old, and some are new. Some are sad, and some are glad, and some are very, very bad. Why are they sad and glad and bad? I do not know. Go ask why that menacing bass and Eilish's whisper didn't deserve better lyrics. [4]

Tobi Tella: Billie Eilish's artistic direction and style of music makes it seem almost impossible for her to make a legitimate banger, but this fits in perfectly with the rest of her album tone-wise and also completely slaps. The simplicity of the production, literally created in a bedroom just adds to the perfect low-key vibe. The lyrics do make Billie sound a little like a teenager who will cringe reading them in 10 years, but as an 18 year old, sometimes doing stupid stuff you know is destructive and immature is FUN, and this completely captures that feeling. [8]

Will Adams: I love love love the idea of this shifty, close mic'd oddball dancepop song being as big of a mainstream hit as it is, even if it's one of the more slight offerings from the album. Extra point for the coda, where Billie drops the coy and reminds you how quick she is to put her foot on your neck. [7]

Pedro João Santos: The coda lamentably inverts the light heart of "Bad Guy": the colourful, whispered titillation conjugated with what's left unsaid, a sort of puerile pleasure dutifully translated by the Theremin-esque synths; not the heady, overlong consummation that it unfolds onto by the end. I must say I'm exhilarated that someone knew how to ape "Las de La Intuición" nearly 15 years on, although startled by the fact that it was Billie Eilish the one to do it. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Done well, it's enjoyable to hear a musician having such fun, but especially so when one unexpected element of a song comes in to underline just how much fun they're having. In this case, it's the gloopy searchlight noise, playing out like the theme tune to a 1970s cop show set in space, in a way that cannot be anything but gleefully goofy. Such bold and playful invention is something pop music would suffer without. Extra points for the consideration to leave a gap before the outro so that radio stations can cut it out. [8]

Iris Xie: I still think this song should've been cut off at the 2:14 mark, because it said everything it needed to say. [5]

Katie Gill: That purposefully obnoxious "duh" sums up what Eilish wants to say more than the rest of the song combined (and is currently in the running for my favorite 2 seconds of 2019 pop music). This image of her as the bad guy isn't serious. It's bratty and playful, more her creating something she can have fun with instead of taking herself seriously. Unfortunately, that something interesting here is buried in a three minute piece that somehow manages to be three completely different songs which never actually coheres to a single whole. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Billie Eilish #pop #music #music review #writing

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sage-nebula · 6 years

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TWEWY: Final Remix - Thoughts

So, I’ve more or less beaten Final Remix now. I’ve beaten the main story, as well as “A New Day”, and while I still have to play through “Another Day” and get the Secret Reports, I think now is as good a time as any to type up my thoughts.

Since the original story is ten years old and I’ve played it dozens of times, I won’t be discussing the plot of that too much. However, I will discuss “A New Day,” so I’m going to put the rest of this under a cut as well as spoiler tag it just so that no one ends up seeing anything they don’t want to see.

To begin with, Final Remix as a whole.

First, I do think that there are some legitimate criticisms as far as the gameplay goes, and those criticisms stem from the fact that SE clearly ported over the iOS controls instead of building from the ground up to make something that would work with the Switch. While I understand that the Switch doesn’t have dual screen capability, that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have implemented the JoyCons in small ways when playing in handheld mode (such as using buttons for the Tin Pin Slammer whammies), or that they couldn’t have found a better way to utilize Neku’s partners rather than treating them as pins. The motion controls when playing in docked mode can be a bit wonky as well, and in particular I personally found Joshua nigh unplayable in that mode. Moreover, there are certain areas where the gameplay is not intuitive at all, where a bit more assistance would have been helpful. Namely, the giant bat boss in Week 1, Day 3 was changed to compensate for the fact that there aren’t two screens, but you are not told what you need to do to launch Shiki to the top screen, so you’re screwed if you don’t figure it out on your own. Likewise, Tigris Cantus was changed to compensate for the lack of two screens, but you’re not told that you have to stand in her shadow to allow your partner to attack her directly during the third phase. These two bosses caused me way more frustration than necessary as a result.

All of that said, though, I do think that a lot of the freaking out I’ve seen about the controls is a bit of an overreaction. The reliance SE had on Solo Remix was a detriment to Final Remix, to be sure, but the controls just take some getting used to. This can be difficult for seasoned TWEWY players such as myself, but with a little bit of practice it’s not that bad (particularly in handheld mode). Even when it comes to Tin Pin---yes, it sucks that you can’t use the buttons for the whammies, but if you know that ahead of time you can train yourself to quickly tap the whammies. Takes some practice, but the original Tin Pin Slammer did as well. You just have to retrain yourself.

Moving on from that, I do think that the majority of the remixes were absolutely fantastic. However, there were some . . . bugs? . . . with the music in certain areas. Such as: When you first meet Shiki, “Deja Vu” starts playing, taking over “Despair”, which rather ruins the mood of the moment considering Neku is still panicking about the Noise that were attacking him. That wasn’t the only place where there was some musical dissonance, but it’s one of the first ones I remember off the top of my head, particularly because it was so jarring I looked up a video of the original DS version of that moment to see if I was right in remembering that it was off (and I was). I’m not exactly sure why SE screwed with the music like that, but I wish they hadn’t. The remixes are great, but we didn’t need which track plays where screwed to that degree. (Though that said, for those who don’t like the remixes, you can switch back to the DS OST at any time in the settings menu. I’m not sure if that fixes the musical dissonance that sometimes occurs or not, but that’s an option. So there’s no real excuse to have “I hate the remixes” as a reason for hating the game when . . . you can disable them.)

Overall, while there are a few minor things here or there that could have been better, I don’t think that any of this is a reason to discourage people from buying this game, particularly when it has been said this is our last shot at a sequel. These are all petty, minor inconveniences---they’re not enough to ruin the experience, in my opinion, particularly for a brand new fan who won’t be blinded or have their opinion marred by nostalgia.

All of that said . . . “A New Day”. Oh boy.

I think the biggest weakness of “A New Day” is that it was too short, and left way too many things unanswered. This is obviously to leave room for the sequel (which we now have a reason for; there was no room for a sequel before, but now there definitely is), but at the same time it’s also a little frustrating, especially considering the very good chance that we won’t get a sequel due to it not selling well enough in Japan (which is Nintendo’s own fault, by the by, because I was actually in Shibuya this past August and I saw no advertising for it anywhere---literally, I passed by Tower Records and I heard Splatoon 2 music playing, but I didn’t hear a single note of TWEWY music, wth), and people in the western fandom telling curious people to buy the DS original or iOS ports instead. The idea that we might not get any answers to any of the questions raised (and that Neku might just stay dead forever, I guess) is really frustrating to me, but I guess in Nomura’s defense he couldn’t have planned for that, so. It is what it is.

Nonetheless, there are a lot of questions raised. Why was Shinjuku erased? Is it erased for good? How is that affecting Shinjuku in the RG? How are Noise appearing in the RG in the first place? (I actually wrote a fic where that happened once, though I only got about two chapters in with it.) I can say that I’m not at all surprised that Coco is actually a Shinjuku Reaper. I always felt that she didn’t really fit with Shibuya at all, ever since the iOS port first came out and I first saw her. She just doesn’t look like a Shibuya Reaper, you know? But she does look very Shinjuku. I can’t really explain it, but the fashion and vibe in Shibuya is just different from Shinjuku, particularly since Shinjuku (contrary to what is said in TWEWY) is actually the high class fashion center of Tokyo. Like, Shibuya is filled with teenagers and all that, but Shinjuku is where you go if you want expensive fashion. So while I’m not saying that Coco’s outfit looks very expensive, I am saying that the fact that her fashion is so different from what we see in Shibuya in TWEWY definitely makes the fact that she originates from Shinjuku make so much more sense. I’m really glad that was clarified in “A New Day”. But that said, that doesn’t explain how she got to Shibuya’s UG to begin with (particularly since I thought that Reapers couldn’t travel between the different UGs), nor does it explain how she can summon a Noise big enough to swallow a city, or create illusions like she did, or use the Taboo Noise refinery to revive Minamimoto . . . there are too many questions here. Way too many questions, and we don’t have answers for any of them.

That said, although I do feel that it was too short, and though I feel that scrambling the map was done less because it made sense for Coco to do that, and more because they wanted to create some artificial length (because if you don’t know how to get to each location, you’re going to spend way more time randomly running around than you otherwise would), I did still enjoy it. The highlights for me were:

Seeing development in Neku’s relationships: Right off the bat, Beat was ready to form a pact with Neku again, and Neku was ready to do the same with Beat. They didn’t even question it, despite how they (understandably) questioned everything else. Not only that, but Beat screamed and reached for Neku when Neku was shot again right in front of him, and I can only imagine how devastated Beat must be right about now. If he didn’t need some therapy after the Game (and he did---they all did), he definitely needs some after seeing his best friend be murdered right in front of him. Then there’s Neku’s relationship with Shiki. One of my favorite parts is when he saw her in Eri’s body again, and his immediate reaction was, “No, that’s not Shiki. That’s not what she really looks like.” I made a post about it before, but one of the best things about Neku’s relationship with Shiki---one of the things that makes it amazing---is the fact that Neku doesn’t truly warm up to her until she drops the Eri act and starts acting like herself. Neku was never impressed by Eri’s looks, and he certainly isn’t impressed by her bubbly attitude; if anything, that annoys him. But Neku cherishes and loves (whether you see it as platonic or romantic) the real Shiki. And so the disappointment he showed when he saw her in Eri’s body---the fact that he doesn’t want this “fake” Shiki, he wants his Shiki, the real Shiki---was extremely heartwarming. I also loved how casually he agreed to go with her to pick up some thread to repair Mr Mew at the end. You know that’s an errand that has nothing at all to do with him, but he just wants to spend some time with her. That’s really cute. ♥ We didn’t get to see very much of it, but I liked what we saw of Neku’s relationship with Joshua as well. I always found it odd (and perhaps a little forced) that Neku said he trusted Joshua at the end of the game. Joshua is someone who repeatedly lied to, used, and murdered Neku. Whatever his reasons for it, Joshua has made it abundantly clear time and again that he will put his own motivations above Neku’s well-being, and he will not feel sorry for it. So while I of course understand Neku not forgiving Josh, I could never understand Neku trusting him despite that lack of forgiveness. If anything, I thought it should be the other way around, that perhaps Neku would forgive him after understanding where he was coming from, but would still not trust him. Either way, I was glad to see in “A New Day” that Neku doesn’t quite trust Joshua as much as he claimed. When he realized that Joshua would likely have some explanation about what was going on, he chased him down. He refused to back down at first, not believing that “Yoshiya” wasn’t playing him. When he had a vision of Joshua potentially shooting him, he thought of that as a very real possibility. All of this points to the fact that it’s less that Neku does trust Joshua, and more that he wants to, and that he’s still feeling pretty conflicted over it. Which, all things considered, is extremely understandable and IC. Finally, Neku’s relationship with Hanekoma has always been one of my favorites, and I was so happy about the little glimpses we witnessed here. I used to write fics where Neku saw Hanekoma as a father-figure (without explicitly saying as much), and where Hanekoma basically adopted him, so I honestly felt like this part of “A New Day” was written for me, haha. The bit where Coco started insisting that Hanekoma was untrustworthy, and Neku turned away from her (as he often does with those who annoy him) and insisted that he trusted Hanekoma more than anyone warmed my heart. Hanekoma, despite Coco’s interference, doing his best to help Neku and get him to WildKat, warmed my heart. And at the very end, where Hanekoma asked “What about Neku?” because he knew Neku’s fate? That, too, warmed my heart. We all know that Hanekoma, at the very least, does hold affection for Neku given the final Secret Report of the original game (“I am glad to have had the chance to meet you��), and I”m glad to see that carried over here as well. Hanekoma is worried about him, and I really want a sequel to see what, exactly, Hanekoma does to help him out of this situation he’s now going to find himself in. (Playing the Game again . . . this time with Pi-Face as his partner . . . RIP, Neku.)

Joshua’s characterization was deliciously on-point. I know that so many people disagree with me on this one, and that’s fine. Everyone can have whatever opinions they want. But from what little we saw of Joshua there at the end, I felt that he was 100% IC---and given how much Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance butchered his characterization, this was so, so refreshing. The thing about Joshua, which I noted above, is that he’s not a sentimental person. He’s a pragmatist. He sees the bigger picture and he puts his own motivations and goals above the well-being of others. Joshua is a person who murdered a teenage boy in cold blood twice, a smile on his face in each time, because he wanted to use said teenage boy as a pawn in a game of life or death. Joshua is a person who was willing to erase an entire town because he felt the citizens weren’t living up to their potential. Joshua is a person who isn’t merciless, and he’s not evil or cruel, but he does believe the ends justify the means and he has little patience for those who would whine about it. He originally chose Neku because Neku was the epitome of everything Joshua hated about Shibuya, the absolute worst person that Joshua could find (that also had suitable Imagination), and though Neku’s development and growth as a person changed Joshua’s mind about erasing Shibuya, that doesn’t mean that he grew attached to Neku on a personal level the same way that Hanekoma did. I know that many people took the Secret Ending of the original game to imply that he was emo about not joining Neku and the others, but I just rewatched it and, honestly, nothing gave me that implication. If anything, it’s vague enough so that you can interpret either way (that he’s either upset about not joining them, or that he feels they’re wasting their time---because after all, Hanekoma says, “Hey, it’s their world. They can decide what to do with it”), but I’ve personally always felt that the “Joshua is a lonely sad boy who just wants to be friends” was more wishful thinking on the part of the fandom versus what we actually see in Joshua’s characterization. Moreover, even if part of Joshua does care about Neku to some degree and wants to be friends with him and others (and again, that’s part of him), he’s still going to value the bigger picture over Neku as an individual. If Neku has to die again to get the job done, so be it. If Neku isn’t necessary for what Joshua has to do and ends up dying as collateral damage, so be it. He might not be exactly happy about it, but ultimately Joshua is here to play the long game, and Neku might not factor into that. In fact, judging by his “I don’t need him anymore” comment at the end of “A New Day” (which makes sense, because since Joshua’s Game with Megumi is no longer running, he has no reason to restrict himself to the RG and thus does not need a proxy to play for him), I’d say Neku doesn’t. Either way, I was really, really glad to see his proper characterization return. As I said, I felt that he was terribly OoC in KH:DDD, which actually led to me returning the game halfway through because it pissed me off so much, haha. Joshua is one of the most complex, fascinating characters I’ve ever seen in a JRPG, particularly with how he wasn’t swayed and won over by The Power of Friendship™ there at the end, and I was delighted to see that return. All in all, if you really want to know how I view Neku and Joshua’s relationship post-Game, here’s a fic I wrote a few years ago of the two of them interacting, featuring Neku’s lingering trust issues, lingering anger over what Joshua did to him, and Joshua’s lack of patience for what he sees as Neku’s pity party and inability to see the bigger picture. (Oh, and also Joshua teasing Neku and needling him to piss him off on purpose. Irritating Neku will never stop being one of Joshua’s favorite pastimes.)

Neku’s Imagination giving him additional ESP. Because what were those premonitions if not ESP? Of course, all the Players are espers to some degree, but Neku had the highest Imagination of them all, which is part of why Joshua chose him as his proxy. We been knew about this for ages, but seeing Neku have premonitions of the future---even if they were partially given to him by Hype-chan---was still very cool. Considering that Noise are not appearing in the RG as well (RIP to weebers girl), I wonder if his premonitions will continue in the next game, should we ever get it. Oh, and speaking of---Shiki mentioned having a feeling that something awful was going to happen right after (or before?) she noticed the tear in Mr Mew’s seam. While that’s not as strong of a premonition as what Neku experienced, it’s still extrasensory perception, and I like that she got some of that as well, that it wasn’t just Neku being the most special boy as per usual. Because after all, as I said, they’re all espers to some degree.

The foreshadowing that Coco was controlling everything was also on point. Aside from the fact that she looked so out of place and her insistence on going along with Neku and Beat was odd, the fact that Fake Shiki and Fake Rhyme changed their behavior just so to match with the feedback that Coco got from Neku and Beat was subtle, but juuuust enough for a perceptive player to catch, and I really enjoyed that. (For instance, after Neku mentioned that “Rhyme” was acting awfully distant toward her brother, Fake Rhyme started calling Beat “big bro.” There’s also the fact that Kariya and Uzuki’s personalities were swapped, and that Coco said “isn’t this how they are?” meaning that her information about them was second-hand . . . and another point to the fact that she was the one behind everything. Oh, and the fact that Coco doesn’t know what Shiki really looks like, and thus Fake Shiki looked like Eri . . . and Coco wouldn’t have known Shiki’s true motivation for her entry fee, hence the “I forgot,” and so on.)

All of that said, aspects that I didn’t enjoy (length and cliffhanger aside) as much were . . .

Fridging both Shiki and Rhyme (or, well, their fake selves) was unnecessary. In all honesty, as much as I love Beat and his friendship with Neku, I think that “A New Day” was a wasted opportunity to not have Neku partner with Rhyme. We never got to know what her play style was in the original game, and she’s the only one of Neku’s new friends that he never got to partner with. She’s just as capable of a Player as any of the rest of them (arguably more so given how clever she’s shown to be despite her age), and we barely got to see her personality or characterization in the original game due to how early on she got erased. Although “A New Day” was short, I would have really liked to partner with Rhyme for it, to see how she and Neku interact on their own, and to see what kind of play style she brings to the table. I’ve always headcanoned that she used psychs outright like Neku (i.e. a variety of pins), but I wonder what Nomura always envisioned for her. I would have liked to see that. Aside from which, not only did we already go through Beat’s despair over having Rhyme erased in the main story (which means that going through it again here was a re-tread of what we literally just got done seeing), but I also felt that both his and Neku’s reactions were . . . extremely underwhelming. Beat cried and attacked the shark, but otherwise he got over Rhyme being erased a second time pretty quickly. As for Neku, he goes from shouting, “Don’t you touch her!” at Beat at the end of the third week in the Game when Beat goes to knock out possessed!Shiki to just sort of . . . accepting that Shiki was erased without really caring in “A New Day”. There wasn’t even really any drama about it at all, despite how she was his primary motivation for fighting during weeks two and three. So not only were they erased for the sake of manpain, but they were erased for the sake of manpain that was barely explored, at that, especially since Neku and Beat thought this was real at the time and thus had no real reason to get over it so quickly. (And I mean, I get that Coco had that happen because she didn’t want Neku and Beat to figure out that Shiki and Rhyme weren’t real, which they were pretty close to doing, but still. Doesn’t change the fact that it felt unnecessary for the most part.) And honestly, I’m really not kidding about the wasted opportunity re: Rhyme. I would have loved to have partnered with her. Why we couldn’t have that instead I’ll never understand. (I mean, in-universe I suppose that Coco might have chosen Beat because he is notoriously stupid, but like . . . come on. Let us partner with Rhyme, SE! We’re not asking for a lot, here!!)

The whole bit with “Yoshiya” wasn’t explained and felt out of place. As much as I loved Joshua’s characterization, Yoshiya is another story. The over-the-top stuttering was bad enough, but there’s also no real explanation for why he behaved this way. At first I thought that perhaps this was a time travel plot and that this was how Joshua was before he died and ended up becoming Composer, but not only was that not the case, we have no explanation for why this did happen at all. Why would Coco believe Joshua acted like that? What reason did she have for thinking that? He was so far out of character that, looking back, it’s really jarring. (Still, I’ll take Yoshiya over KH3D “Joshua”, so that should tell you something about how I feel about KH3D.)

We never got a real name for Hype-chan. It’s been all these years and we still have nothing to call her but “Hype-chan,” smfh. But no, really, what’s her name? What’s her story? I want to know and yet I may never find out. This kills the Scrawlers.

All in all I did enjoy it, missed opportunities and raised questions aside, and I really want the sequel. Here’s hoping we manage to squeak enough sales to get it. It would be nice. (Especially since the fact that the sequel would likely be made especially for Switch should mean that the control issues would be smoothed out. One can only hope.)

#the world ends with you #twewy #twewy spoilers #the world ends with you spoilers #scrawlers plays the reapers game

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svtmatokis · 6 years

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Maid of Honor Part 6

Annyeong~! I am so so sooooo sorry I haven’t updated in so long and I know a lot of you have been anticipating this next part so without further ado~ lets get to the story!

Thank you so much for your love and support for this story! I’m glad you guys are enjoying it and I’ll be sure to post more often when I can :)

Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 5.2

Genre: Fluff & Angst

Pairing: You x Wonwoo

Words: 3581

When Jihoon rolled (literally) into his hospital room, he was not surprised to see Wonwoo sitting in the chair next to his bed, a look of frustration on his face.

“Won-“ Jihoon started slowly but immediately shut his mouth when Wonwoo looked at him with a glare. That’s when he knew that Wonwoo had heard everything.

Jihoon figured he would have considering it was around the time Wonwoo would come visit you anyways so he wasn’t exactly surprised. But unlike Mingyu and Joshua, Wonwoo and Jihoon weren’t so close so he couldn’t gage what the other male was feeling right now.

“You guys dated?” Wonwoo growled, “behind everyone’s back?”

Jihoon gulped as Wonwoos folded hands turned white as he clenched then tighter. If Jihoon wasn’t already in the hospital, he had a feeling that he would’ve been after dealing with Wonwoo.

“AND YOU CHEATED ON HER? In her apartment?!” Wonwoos voice raised but was still quiet enough so he didn’t attract anyone outside.

Jihoon stayed quiet. If he knew one thing about Wonwoo, it was that when he was upset to never interrupt him when he was on a role.

“It was you! There was a missing puzzle piece when Mingyu told me that you saved her from a bad date and started protecting her. It was because you had every reason to, because she was yours.” Wonwoo huffed and Jihoon had to rub his eyes to ensure that it wasn’t smoke he saw come out of Wonwoo’s nose. In all the years the two knew each other, he never saw Wonwoo this upset at a situation.

Wonwoo shook his head, “Y/N hasn’t spoken a willing word to me since she woke up because of a messed up misunderstanding but you cheat on her and you’re one of her closest friends. How the heck is that even possible?” He asked in disbelief staring the injured boy down. “What do you have over her that has you two so close?”

Jihoons head shot up at Wonwoos accusatory tone and stated as firmly as he could, “I hold nothing against Y/N.” his eyes leveled Wonwoos stare before he looked down defeated, “I hurt her in the worst way possible and she’s still willing to forgive me… she’s willing to forget everything that happened between us because she considers our friendship important” he let out a sigh.

“But it’s so hard for me to live like that. To watch her blame herself for everything that happened between us when it was my fault.” He shook his head as Wonwoo stayed silent, his face void of emotion. “That’s why when she told me she forgave me for everything, I couldn’t believe it. Even Joshua was against it for a while…”

“Joshua?” Wonwoo asked, “what does Joshua have to do with this?”

The two men gave each other hard looks before Jihoon’s shoulders slumped and he explained what happened during your relationship with Jihoon to Wonwoo.

Wonwoos poker face never changed as he listened to Jihoon speak. He could not believe how big of an idiot this guy was. Jihoon might’ve lost the best thing that happened to him but then again… you and Wonwoo weren’t on speaking terms either.

He thought about your emotions and how you must’ve felt. The way Jihoon talked about your relationship, it sounded like it could’ve been forever had Jihoon not screwed it up royally.

He thought about how you must’ve felt walking into your apartment to see Jihoon in your bed with another woman before immediately exiting. His fist clenched thinking about the stupidity of Jihoon. But from the tone of remorse coming from Jihoon, he knew that he regretted his actions greatly.

When Jihoon finished, wonwoo had to use all the self control he had not to punch the guy in the face for all the pain he put you through but he had to ask one question first.

“Did you still love her?”

The look on Jihoons face was all he needed as an answer so he continued.

“You know I’m going to fight for her right.”

Jihoon nodded slowly.

“I won’t let you hurt her again.” Wonwoo finished.

“And you think I’ll let you have her?” Jihoon shot at him. Who did Wonwoo think he was?, “You’re the reason she’s in the hospital in the first place. If she wasn’t so lost in thought, she wouldn’t have fallen-”

“It was a MISUNDERSTANDING” Wonwoo said , “She never let me explain and then the accident happened and now she won’t even talk to me because of the damage YOU caused to her heart. Unlike you, she won’t even give me the chance.”

“She gave me another chance?! She gave me another chance at friendship Jeon, not a relationship and I’ll be damned if I let you hurt her like I did.” Jihoon looked at Wonwoo with a menacing glare.

The two boys had a stare down, both wanting the other to back down before Wonwoo asked.

“So are you going to help me or not.”

Jihoons stared didn’t waver but in the end he let out a defeated sigh and nodded.

“Don’t think I’m going to make it easy for you” Jihoon muttered and Wonwoo shook head head before he made his way to the door.

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

Wonwoo walked out of Jihoons room, leaving him to his thoughts as he made his way to your room hoping you were awake and alone and to his happiness, you were.

Knocking silently on the door, he waited until you looked in his direction before smiling softly.

“Hey” he said slowly walking in, watching your reaction carefully. When he saw no signs that you didn’t want him there, he sat in the chair next to your bed.

“Hi” you said softly. For some odd reason, you weren’t nervous. You had a feeling that Wonwoo would approach you sooner or later but thought he would’ve waited till you were out of the hospital.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, the same question he always asked. It was as if that was what your conversations had come to, light chatter, nothing too deep. Just enough to graze a conversation.

“My head hurts a bit every time I blink cause of the stitches but other than that, the painkillers are doing their job.” You replied making Wonwoo to chuckle lightly glad the air was on the lighter side.

“Listen...about that Friday…” he started slowly as you cut him off.

“Oh yea, did you meet your girlfriend for drinks?” You asked playing dumb. You knew he showed up at your door that night and you knew that Jihoon didn’t let him in either.

Wonwoo looked at you and gulped slightly but shook his head quickly, “She isn’t my girlfriend...If I recall, I was on a date with a really great girl and at the end of the night, she wasn’t feeling well and I offered to walk her home but she left in a hurry.” Wonwoo retold the story and you looked down at your hands.

“I couldn’t figure out why she would run away…” Wonwoo continued.

“Maybe it was because she saw something she wished she didn’t have to see.” you shot at him the emotions from that night getting to you. “Maybe she felt like the date she was on wasn’t a date. You did tell your old coworkers that you were with a friend after all and considering the last few weeks that lead up to that date, I was surprised it even happened” you muttered the last part to yourself as Wonwoo stared at you.

Your words hit Wonwoo like a ton of bricks. What did you mean by surprised the date even happened? He took into consideration the time frame you needed to catch up on your work so he didn’t want to bug you. He thought back to that night and suddenly he felt like his heart dropped realizing he had messed up.

When he didn’t respond, you clenched your fist and continued.

“I know I don’t have the best dating history, but to be screwed over by two of Josh’s friends. Wow Y/N, amazing..” you mumbled to yourself before you looked up at him with a weak smile, “You’re a really great guy Wonwoo, I’m sure Ye-rin will make you very happy but next time, please don’t loop another girls heart into it. They tend to be really delicate.”

“Y/N…” Wonwoo slowly reached for your hand but you pulled away. Feeling discouraged, he spoke anyways. He wanted you to know how he was feeling and how sorry he was over the misunderstanding.

“I’m not dating Ye-rin..” he started and took it as a sign to continue when you stayed silent.

Slowly, he explained the story of how he knew her and how the two worked together at his old company. He told you everything from how they first met to when he started developing feelings for her to the point where he realized that she was incapable of staying faithful and that’s why he decided to move back home.

He didn’t want to leave anything out. All he wanted was for you to listen and hear him out. He wanted to be an open book so you could crush any doubts you had.

After hearing his story you nodded your head slowly, feeling slightly stupid for assuming and not asking but after what happened with Jihoon, your survival instincts kicked in.

Looking at Wonwoo you sighed feeling a slight ache in your heart. It was unfamiliar to you but you had a hunch that it had something to do with the man in front of you. He was looking at you with a soft hopeful gaze, wanting you to believe him.

Joshua and Hye-mi had talked to you about the situation before, not too long after you woke up. The words Joshua said resonated in your head.

“Give him a chance, he isn’t like the others. Jihoon included, Y/N. He’s gone what you’ve been through. He’s been here everyday since your accident. He really really cares about you...you should try to at least give him a chance.”

It threw you off to know that Wonwoo had visited you despite you being unconscious but it warmed your heart a tiny bit. Wanting confirmation you asked quietly.

“Is it true that you’ve been here everyday since the accident?”

Wonwoo nodded his head, “Everyday after work, sometimes twice. Once during my lunch and then after work….ah…” He hesitated. “Who told you?”

“Joshua...he and Hye-mi told me a lot of things…” you said looking down. Your heart was so conflicted. Part of you was telling you to stop what you were doing and run away but the other part really wanted to give him a chance. This whole thing was giving you a headache and it made you wince in pain.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asked worriedly leaning over to hold your arm when he noticed you wince.

Feeling his touch made you stop wincing for a moment to look at him. Like really look at him. You could see faint bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep Joshua told you about. Apparently, if he wasn’t at the hospital, he was at work and vice versa, only stopping at home to shower and change. You didn’t realize he was that worried about you.

Slowly, you used the hand which wasn’t held by him and reached for his face. Gently, you ran your thumb over the dark circles under his eyes.

Wonwoo stayed still and watched you carefully. This was the first time he had seen this look on your face and your touch made his insides tingle. He didn’t want to do anything that could ruin the quiet moment you had now.

You continued to gently stroke his cheek which made him close his eyes and lean into your palm, gently kissing it sending butterflies throughout your body. Everything was telling you that Wonwoo told the truth and that he really did care about you. After seeing only pure adoration in his eyes you knew what you were going to do.

“Would you….would you wait for me?” You asked in a small voice, afraid of his rejection you assumed was coming.

Opening his eyes slowly, he looked at you. Like really looked at you before pulling away from your hand and leaned over to kiss your cheek gently making you blush.

“Always” he whispered into your ear before pulling away smiling at you. He was happy, it wasn’t rejection and the fact that you asked him to wait mean that you may have feelings for him.

The two of you looked at each other for while and broke into quiet laughter, most of the awkwardness diminishing. Things were going to be okay.

The two of you ended up talking about what was happening with the wedding since you were out for the last few weeks. You found out that Wonwoo had taken it upon himself to help Hye-mi and Mingyu with most of the planning and that the venue was now set along with the groomsmen's tuxedos.

The conversation moved to common interests and then funny stories of the the boys from middle and high school which left you two laughing which was also what Joshua and Hye-mi walked into when they came to visit you.

Watching you two from the door, they looked at each other and bumped fists. It was progress, you and Wonwoo were on talking terms now. What they didn’t realize was Jihoon had been there the whole time behind them watching the whole exchange, his eyes locked on Wonwoo’s hand that held yours on the bed which went unnoticed by Joshua and Hye-mi.

“Someone sounds like she’s feeling better” Hye-mi sang as she and Joshua entered the room. “We come bringing good news.”

“And bad news” Joshua said looking at you.

You looked at Wonwoo who looked equally confused as you did before you asked.

“Let’s start with the good news”

“Well good news is, that you’re getting discharged in two days!” Hye-mi said excitedly.

“Ah! Really?!” You asked in shock. “Has it already been two weeks?”

The three in the room nodded their heads.

“Now the bad news” Wonwoo said leaning forward with a smirk knowing what it was and despite it being “bad news” it made him happy.

“Because you’re left with a broken arm and leg each, the doctor advised that you’d need a full time caretaker for a little while. “ Joshua explained, “Hye-mi has her wedding” he gave said girl a side glance who nodded, “And because of your absence at the office, I can’t really take the time off right now. So…” everyone turned to look at Wonwoo.

“I offered to help you out” Wonwoo said and your head turned to look at him with wide eyes.

“A-are you sure?” you asked and he nodded his head, “But don’t you have to work? You must’ve just started your job...won’t you get in trouble?”

The three people in the room chuckled before Wonwoo explained.

“My job allows me to work at home and at the office. I mean, I’m sure Joshua is capable of running things himself. Afterall, he was the one who trained me.” he shot a smirk at the older boy who smirked back as you looked between the two confused.

“You...work for SVT?” you questioned.

Both boys nodded their heads.

“When you had your accident, a big project came up and it was something I couldn’t do alone and in the dire need of someone, I asked Wonwoo if he was interested in a contract position just for this project and the higher ups were impressed by his work so they offered him a permanent position as a trainee team-leader position and he’s more or less helped me complete a project or two since then.” Joshua explained and shared a smile with Wonwoo.

“He’s also been a big help with the wedding planning. The moment you’re out of here, we are going dress shopping!” Hye-mi said and giggled.

Turning to look at the man on your right you frowned, “You replaced me?”

Everyone in the room laughed as you pouted in your bed.

After the laughter subsided, everyone was back on topic.

“Wait, why is Wonwoo taking care me?” you questioned.

“Do you not want me to take care of you?” Wonwoo asked with fake offence.

“No no, it’s not that…”

“Wonwoo lives closer than you than any of us. So it only made sense.” Joshua said and you gave them another confused look but Joshua knew exactly what you were going to ask, “When SVT offered him the position, he was renting a place farther away but when he accepted, he bought a place closer to the office.”

“Ohh��.” you said getting it now and turned to look at Wonwoo, “Are you okay with that though? I don’t want to be a burden…”

Wonwoo raised his eyebrow before chuckling.

“Getting to spend everyday with you, tending to your every need?” he thought for a moment, “I don’t think I can find a better way to spend the next two weeks.” he grinned.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t think you’re on a vacation or anything, you still have reports to work on.” Joshua stated with a pointed look.

Wonwoo only gave him a sheepish grin and nodded his head.

“What about Jihoon?” you asked, you knew that Jihoon’s injuries weren’t as severe as yours and that he was still in the hospital being treated for exhaustion. He was a music producer for a large company and spent many hours in his studio which was why you tried so hard after the break up to make amends with him so he wouldn’t lock himself up so much.

“Cheol and Soonyoung are going to keep an eye on him. He and Soonyoung were thinking about rooming together anyways so it makes sense” Hye-mi explained as you nodded.

Satisfied with the answers, you dug into the food Hye-mi had brought. Mingyu made sure to make you dinner on a daily. He knew how bad hospital food tasted and made sure you had at least one decent meal a day.

Two days later, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Joshua, Hye-mi, Jeonghan and Mingyu were at the hospital to take you and Jhoon home. You were in a wheelchair, dressed in your own clothes, the hospital gown no longer present. Jihoon next to you dressed in the same.

After his breakdown two days ago, you were able to talk to him yesterday and cleared a lot of air. You expressed that his friendship was important to you and you didn’t want to leave it all behind. You emphasized that what happened in the past was what it was, in the past. After a while, he accepted the situation and you hoped that things would go back to normal eventually.

The group eventually split in two with Hye-mi, Mingyu, Wonwoo and Joshua taking you back to your apartment and Jeonghan, Seungcheol and Soonyoung taking Jihoon back to Soonyoungs place where he would be staying while he recovered.

When the five of you get back to your apartment, you were shocked to see things tidied up and put away. Your fridge was fully stocked and the boys had even installed a special shower seat for you.

Once settled, all that was left were you and Wonwoo. The plan was that Wonwoo would spend most of the day with you, just incase you needed anything. He had to go to the office sometimes but was allowed to leave anytime granted you needed something. Though you told him that you’d be just fine, he only chuckled.

“I told you at the hospital. Getting to spend everyday with you tending to your every need? I don’t think I could find anyway better way to spend the next two weeks”

The comment once again made you go red in the face as he chuckled thinking how cute you were being.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” he suggested and you nodded your head.

He had set you up in an interesting way. Your leg was propped up on two pillows while your arm was resting on a pillow on your arm rest.

Wonwoo went to your kitchen to grab a few snacks which he had bought earlier on and brought them out. After agreeing on a movie, the two of you settled in a comfortable silence.

Throughout the movie, Wonwoo handed you the snacks you wanted and put a straw in your drink so you could sip it from time to time, all the while being the perfect gentleman. Slowly, his arm made his way around you and you found your head nestled comfortably on the crook of his neck.

Noticing that you had fallen asleep, Wonwoo gently carried you into your bedroom and placed you on your bed.

Gently kissing your forehead he whispered, “I’ll wait for you as long as you need me to. But remember...my heart is fragile too…” he kissed your forehead one last time before he walked out of your room, leaving it slightly ajar so he could hear you if you needed anything and went into the guest bedroom he set up for himself and for the rest time in a long time, had a restful sleep.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen #kpop imagines #wonwoo #kpop #jihoon #joshua #pledis

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shoephoneweasley · 6 years

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Why I Can’t Sleep Tonight #8

This is the first time I’ve been on my laptop in so long. I miss the simple days when I used to spend all my time on here just typing away. I miss typing so much. It’s almost two in the morning and I have to be away by 4:30 a.m. but I just really needed to type, ya know?

I hate that I think so much at night. It’s such a hassle.

Back in July, I had decided that it was time for me to move back to Mississippi. I thought to myself that I just can’t afford to live in Orlando anymore since I don’t have a car, and as much as I love working at Universal, the bullshit I deal with on an almost daily basis is just too much to handle. So I told all my friends here, my coworkers, my family and friends back home, that I planned on moving back to Smithville in February of 2019.

I had it all planned out too. I was going to move in with Tyler and our friend Scott. I would work on getting a job somewhere it was easy for me to get back and forth from. But more importantly, I would be near my nephew Joshua, who is my absolute pride and joy in this crazy ass world.

Before I had decided to move back, I had already planned on taking a week’s vacation to visit home and just enjoy the country life. I really thought I missed it and I was just so so very excited to head back to Mississippi for a week and see everyone. After deciding to move back, I couldn’t wait for my vacation so I could plan my move back home.

I was home for nine days, but the first three days made me realize I had made a terrible mistake.

The first incident: Long story short, Tyler and I messed around last year when I visited home in August. He made it very, very, VERY FREAKING CLEAR that he wanted to mess around again this time when I was home. He would literally text me eggplant emojis and my stupid ass fell for it because... well... I’m stupid. And then when it was night and we were getting ready for bed and I was ready for... whatever... he just up and decided “Eh, nevermind, I’m good.”

It took me awhile to realize he was literally just doing this to be an asshole because he knows that I kind of like our friend Scott, and Scott is kind of into me as well. Scott is total gentleman and I would be the luckiest girl ever to end up with him. But Tyler is a FUCKING ASSHOLE and decided to ruin the whole thing. I just... nah, I’m not living with him after that realization.

The second incident: I fell through the floor of my parents house. The floors were very, very weak, and I stepped on a soft spot and went right through the floor. As I laid there with one leg touching the ground, all I felt was Mississippi laughing at me and telling me that I don’t belong there anymore.

The third incident: Not really an incident, but more of an observation. Without a car, I’m literally stuck in house all day against my will unless a friend wants to go somewhere. If they don’t, I am screwed. My mom won’t let me drive her car. She wouldn’t even let me take it down the street to get something from Dollar General. Boredom doesn’t even began to explain half my time being couped up in that house because I had nothing to do and no one to see.

The fourth incident: I love my family, but I no longer fit in with them. Not that I ever did, but it was easier to pretend back then. Now... not so much.

A few years ago, I came to the realization that I’m bisexual. I like men and women. It’s not a phase. I pretty sure I’ve known this since I was little (I’m talking like five years old at least) but I never acted up it because I was always told that it was wrong. However, living in Florida for a little over three years now has slowly changed how I see and accept things, and I choose to accept my bisexuality and new looks on life.

My family does not.

I’m not telling them about this not because I’m ashamed, but because 1. it’s none of their business, and 2. they will do everything in their power to try to convince me none of this is real and I’m just showing out or whatever. Yeah, no, I’m fine keeping my thoughts to myself and being gay as hell here in Orlando. #sorrynotsorry

I got into a small argument with my mom though. She tried to tell me that being bi wasn’t an actual thing. “People who sleep with men and women are how HIV and AIDS gets spread around. It doesn’t make sense, you’re either gay or straight, there is no in-between.”

What killed me the most though was the example she gave me on why it’s dangerous to be bisexual: “Let’s say you marry a man, and you think you are in love with him. Y’all are marry for like 20 years, and then all of the sudden, you fall in love with a women and decide to leave your husband. That’s not cool at all.”

I stared at her in disbelief and asked, “But if you fall in love with another man and live your husband for him, that’s okay?” She couldn’t say anything, but I knew I had made my point.

I don’t want to have to argue with my family like that everyday because they said some offhand comment I don’t agree with. They do that all the time. My sister literally asked me if one of my friends had daddy issues because she sleeps around a lot. Um, no ma’am, she does not. She and her father have an amazing relationship. She just loves sex. She wanna be a hoe? As long as she’s protecting herself, I couldn’t be more proud. Fuck out of here with that.

The last incident: I forgot how backwards Mississippi, especially country ass bumpkin ass Monroe County, really is. Smithville lost so many businesses when the tornado hit seven years ago. There are still stores that could be built there. Right now, there is only a Dollar General. There was a Piggly Wiggly, but it got blown away. What do they decide to put in it’s place instead of another place to grocery shop?

A motherfucking gun shop.

All the shit going on in Trump’s America right now, and they want to put a damn gun shop there.

I was LIVID when I found out. I’m still livid, which is how this whole post came to be. Like, how fucking dare they think this is okay?! And the best part is that the asshole running the shop... well yeah, he’s a fucking asshole! Mallory told me about all the stunts he pulled in Amory when there was a march going on for gun control and it literally frustrated me to tears. It still does. I just... I can’t go back to that. I refuse.

I hate that I told everyone BEFORE I visited that week that I was moving back. I wish I had just had the thought in my head, told no one, experienced my week back in Mississippi, and then decided on if I was moving back or not. Now I have to go through the embarrassment of telling everyone a month later that, oh hey, nevermind, I’m not going back to that hellhole.

Yeah, Florida is expensive as hell to live in. It sucks not having a car or money here. But I’m trying so hard. And despite all of the hardships, I’m still so happy here. I have the buses to get around (even though they suck). I can walk to nearby stores. I’m independent as hell and I love it.

I thought I was going to be so happy to go back home, but while I was there and watching the snapchats of my friends at work, I realized that I still missed Orlando more than Smithville, and that it was going to break my heart to live.

No, I don’t plan on staying in Orlando forever. There are still so many places to see and live. But for the time being, Orlando is my home and I’m forever in love, through the good and bad times. I’m just so happy I was able to realize that before making a huge mistake.

#thisisme #mississippi #florida #orlando #9.15.18 #its been a while #why i can't sleep tonight

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