as per usual, i am late to the memegeddon… but here is a lil something based on this meme from @petalsthefish
James stabbed the last carrot on his plate with a bit more violence than the action called for. However, it had no effect on the conversation happening a few seats down at the Gryffindor table.
“I s’pose the library?” Albert Jenkins-Wright prattled on. “Where do girls like her even hang out?”
Across from James, Sirius snorted.
“And she’s never on her own,” one of Jenkins-Wright’s sixth year mates chimed in. “It’ll be like asking her out in front of her whole dormitory.”
The small group of boys all made equal, yet indiscernible, noises of agreement and glanced around to where the fifth year girls had their heads together. James couldn’t help it, he peeked up as well. The girls in his year were all giggling in hushed tones over their pudding. As he watched, the object of their infernal conversation threw her head back and laughed in full merriment. James’ insides twisted painfully and he refocused on his empty plate.
“Valentine’s Day though,” another of the boys chimed in. “That’s a lot of pressure for a first date, isn’t it?”
James had heard quite enough. He shoved back on his bench and snapped, “She has to say yes first.”
Albert Jenkins-Wright glowered at him. Thankfully, Sirius also stood from his seat, albeit less petulantly, and smirked. “Good luck with that.”
Peter and Remus followed, Remus shoveling his last few bites of potatoes into his mouth. A small slice of guilt broke through James’ foul mood, but he stalked away nonetheless.
“I thought you were attempting indifference?” Peter hissed as they reached the entrance hall.
Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Remus grin. “Yes, I distinctly remember that New Year’s resolution too.”
“Let’s be honest,” Sirius sighed, clapping James on the shoulder. “We all knew it was doomed.”
“Jenkins-Wright is a prat,” James said without any real bite behind it.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Every bloke who likes Evans is a prat.“
“Including you,” Sirius added.
Remus covered a laugh with a cough; Peter sniggered.
As they mounted the marble staircase, James ground his teeth together, determined not to be a prat.
He made it as far as the second floor.
“What kind of name is Jenkins-Wright, anyhow?”
His three friends groaned.
Ten minutes, two floors, and a password later, they found armchairs tucked into a corner of the common room. James had exhausted his complaints about Albert Jenkins-Wrights’s name and had now moved on to his intelligence.
“Like she’d ever go out with a bloke who couldn’t even scrape an E in Charms.” James insisted.
“Do shut up,” Sirius grumbled, settling deeper into the cushions.
James scowled, and had just opened his mouth to release a very un-witty retort when an eruption of giggles tumbled through the portrait hole.
“The tea leaves don’t lie!” Anna Perry cackled while looping her arm through Evans’.
Green eyes flashed and Evans shot her friend a flat look. “Your only proof is a lump of soggy Earl Grey and something about Saturn’s anus–“
“Janus,” Anna Perry stressed. “It’s the moon of discernment, and its current alignment with Venus makes tonight the perfect conditions for predicting–“
As the girls walked by their cluster of chairs, James couldn’t help himself. “What’s this about Saturn’s anus?”
“Never you mind,” Evans spat. At the same time, Anna burst, “I’ve just read her teacup. And it’s fascinating–“
“Hardly.” Evans rounded on her friend. “You think my soulmate is at Hogwarts.”
James’ heart lept into his throat.
“Well, obviously,” Anna huffed, clearly exasperated. “It showed they were near! Could be proximity, could be timing, it could be the next person who asks you out!”
Evans looked increasingly unimpressed.
James, however, suffered a temporary bout of insanity. “Hey, Evans? Go out with me?”
“No,” she replied smoothly, without so much as looking at him.
The rejection was expected, and only made James grin wider.
“See?” Evans gestured to where James leaned over the back of his chair. “By your logic, Potter is my one true love. Some prediction that was.”
Anna’s shoulders slumped. “Fine, don’t believe me. But I know what I saw.”
Evans rolled her eyes and yanked Anna toward the rest of the girls, who had settled at a long table and were pulling out homework.
Watching them go, James sunk back into his seat, unable to control the self-satisfied smirk stretching across his face.
He was met with three expressions of equal disapproval.
“What?” he asked with an air of false innocence. “I wasn’t about to let her fall madly in love with Albert Jenkins-Wright.” When none of his friends showed signs of going along with this farce, James continued, “Apathy is overrated, anyway. Whatever happened to going after what you want, huh? Where are the proper grand gestures? Men used to duel for the hand of a lady, you know…”
Silence hung between the four of them for several long moments before Sirius lounged back into his seat and rumbled, “You’re a nuisance to society.”
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WARNING!!
I'm mostly just talking about broppy here lmao
—————
• moving onto the better fit for poppy I present to y'all my boy... shadow the hedgehog!!
he's definitely one of my favourite trolls this guy singlehandedly started the sassy man apocalypse LMAO
I think branch is good, he's alr and can you see that I can't properly express why I like him 😭
I think it's funny how he spends so much time hating on the trolls happy, fun and loud lifestyle while he's brooding in his corner or bunker
when in reality he feels lonely and does want to be included (BROZONE WHEN I CATCH YOU BROZONE.)
tbh that's probably one of the reasons why he loves poppy since she's always gone out of her way to include him when everyone else just gave up on him cuz of his moody attitude
like guys.. he kept all the invites she gave him... ☹️
when they were on their way to bergen town and all he did was complain about poppy's "poppiness" he never really was completely fed up with her (which kind of is a miracle) like look at his face in this scene where she's singing despite him complaining about it
LOOK HOW HE LOOKS AT HER
and I cannot find a screenshot for this scene BUT THAT SCENE OH. MY. DAYS.
the scene where everyone's freaking out on how to compliment gristle until branch speaks up and gives this absolutely beautiful compliment out of nowhere
but it's not out of nowhere yk why?? CUZ THAT'S JUST HIM DESCRIBING HOW HE SEES POPPY
"Your eyes, they're like two pools so deep, I fear if I dive in, I might never come up for air. And your smile, the sun itself turns jealous and refuses to come out from behind the clouds knowing it cannot shine half as bright."
"I kinda do have a nice smile, don't I?" - gristle's response
"Yes, you do."
AND THEN BRANCH LOOKS AT POPPY
I felt so normal when that scene happened cuz why would I let a trolls movie affect me that much?? 🙂
what's fucking insane tho is that they don't kiss at the end of the movie
like I'm not saying they're obligated to do so but when you basically say "I love you" to each other in I'm pretty fucking sure a /r way then I'm expecting y'all so smack lips by the end of the movie
broppy fans have been starving out there cuz these two bozos don't kiss until the lastest movie which came out SEVEN FUCKING YEARS AFTER THE FIRST TROLLS MOVIE
this is like one of the most evil things I've heard about canon ships LMAOO
anyways broppy wins and fuck creek can't believe poppy liked him 🙄
they should've gone thru with choking him to death ngl
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