#(This was actually drafted for a While but it was basically an end of sorts to the Meanwhile with Espimon minisaga of HCs)

[james-stark-the-writer]

I love being insane and rambling/loredumping for over an hour in a voice note about a niche thing in the lore/world of my nonexistent book that will probably never come up and is probably not important to the story at all that I know of because I haven't really started writing it yet besides two chapters and some snippets that were like a few years ago because I cannot be bothered to do research for a different WIP that is not even past the basic stages (the real inciting incident hasn't even happened) bc it's not a current priority before finishing the first draft that I have been working on for the last four years or the first draft of the other WIP I've been working on since the year two thousand and sixteen.

[kiwi-cult]

PARSELSCRIPT!!

Hi. This is mostly for the people from Discord but tadah! I'm finally making that Tumblr post I've been talking about for months.

(Warning this will probably be very chaotic)

To anyone new who sees this: me and some friends made an alphabet for Parseltongue from Harry Potter, aka Parselscript. I'll take you on a little journey to explain my process and give you some tips, should you want to start writing it.

Disclaimer: I wanted to make this script usable for the writer I made it for so it's less of an actual language and more just some characters to represent the Latin (or ‘English’) letters. Like a cipher. It is not realistic. If I made this realistic I'd have to add all sorts of things to indicate body language and smell etc and also have to figure out what sounds Parseltongue actually has etcetera etcetera. No.

Alright.

It all started when we started talking about Parselscript in a Discord server and I asked my friend Ava to visualise the script because she seemed to have a clear vision of it, so I could use it to go from there.

That's how we got this.

I think we all wanted to go with something flowery for some reason, so we did.

After this I just messed around with brushes and shapes in Procreate for a while, tweaking things and trying to make it more writeable. I ended up with something like this (still a rough draft).

It may look a bit like random squiggles at first, and it kinda was at this point. As you can see there's also a lot of added dots and lines, which can be a bit hard to remember and I see you wondering what it looks like without them.

Well here it is.

I showed this to the people I brainstormed with in Discord and we decided to go with the more complicated version because it looks better lol.

This is one of the final versions.

It says: "Hello, my name is Kiwi Cult. I made this script after reading a fanfic called Terrible, But Great written by Isalise the loml on Archive Of Our Own."

Now, to talk about some of the (boring) logistics.

It is read from left to right, top to bottom.

Every separate combination of squiggles you see above is a separate word. Every word is made up of a starting character, one or more letter characters and an ending character.

The very first character you see in the top left corner, with the three petal looking thingies, is a silent starting character that indicates the start of a sentence. Not word: sentence. The end of the character, that little circle thingy, is a comma. So, the first combination says: "Hello,".

Then, the second combination starts with a kind of hook going down and right. This is also a silent character and more meant as an interpunction, that's why you don't pronounce it. It's kind of just a way to start the word when there isn't anything special about it (aka it's not the start of a sentence, a name, an exclamation or a question. But every character is special in its own right🥲). The same kind of hook can be found at the bottom of the combination, except going up. It has the same use, basically just a way to end the word when there isn't anything special about it. Now, you might ask: why does it go right and not left?

We talked about this a while, because I wanted the direction to have some kind of meaning. We wondered about gender, tone, blah blah all kinds of complicated things but in the end I just wanted this script to be writable so I chose to have proficient writers in Parseltongue make their hooks go left and beginners have their hooks go right.

Now, you might notice that I end my words with a hook going right. That is because I don't see myself as a pro in writing in Parselscript okay? It's hard!😭💀

Now, other than the character indicating the start of a sentence, the circle, and the simple hook, there are a few other characters to start or end a combination (don't worry I'll show them all to you at the end, you won't have to use your imagination for long).

We have a character to indicate a name. Now, the rule is: name indicator over start of sentence indicator. So, if you start a sentence with a name, you'll use the symbol to indicate a name, NOT BOTH. (That's not even possible but I don't even want to see you try and butcher my child).

There is a character to indicate a sentence that would usually be followed by an exclamation mark (!), but at the start of the sentence. Then you’d end the exclamated sentence with a period.

The same goes for a question mark (?): put it at the start of a question, not the end. Again, it wouldn't even be possible to use it at the end of a combination but I DON'T EVEN WANNA SEE YOU TRY.

Finally we have a period (.), which looks a bit like a flower with four petals. You do use this one at the end of a word, and it is always followed by a start of sentence indicator or a name indicator. I know people are rejecting capitals these days in their typing but I don't wanna see it. If you start a word after a period with a hook I will find you.

If a sentence starts with a name that is also a question or exclamation you’d use the question/exclamation mark above the name indicator, otherwise it would take away a vital part of the sentence while a name can still be read even if it doesn’t have its indicator.

So, to put it all next to each other, the symbols we have are: -start of sentence indicator -name indicator -exclamation mark (!) -question mark (?) -period (.) -hook (direction depends on efficiency) -comma (,) (direction depends on efficiency)

I didn't make adjusted characters to indicate a capital letter like we do in the Latin alphabet, meaning that the only things you can kind of 'capitalise' are the start of a sentence and the start of a name.

It is also slightly phonetic. Emphasis on slightly. I made separate characters for almost all letters in the Latin alphabet, so you can just write your word normally with Parselscript characters. The only difference is that I made only one character for the 'f/v' sounds and that there is no 'c' character. If a word has a 'c' in it, you'll have to use the character for a 'k' or an 's'. Also a ‘q’ can be made with ‘k’ and ‘w’ etc.

A few examples: -character=karakter -parselscript=parselskript -crazy=krazy -science=siense

-quiz=kwuiz

I know it looks a bit confusing, but I trust you guys' ability to read context clues and figure out what someone means when you try to decipher Parselscript.

Now, for a word like 'phonetic' or 'decipher' I don't really care whether you use the separate characters for 'p' and 'h' or just the one for the 'f/v' sound. You do you.

I also don’t use any double letters because they basically sound the same and it looks ugly but if you want to use double symbols feel free.

I also made some numbers that do not look like they fit with the rest of the script but I promise you that's just because you're not used to it yet. Our own numbers don't belong with our alphabet either because we nicked them from the Arabs (I think, don't quote me on this) but we don’t notice that either.

Tadah. (Yes I know it’s out of order I told you this was gonna be chaotic af)

Other than that, feel free to ask me questions if I've forgotten anything or if you're wondering about anything. I can't guarantee that I have a good answer because I might not even have thought about it myself, but I can always try to come up with something. I am one person, I'm afraid I haven't been able to take everything about a script into consideration.

Now, without further ado; here is the key.

No, your eyes didn't deceive you: there are two versions. The first has a bit more loose squiggles than the second one. I realised that when I was writing physically, the second version was much nicer to write, so it is kind of like Simplified Parselscript. I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna put some lore behind it or not yet. But I included the og one if you're a tryhard and wanna take it on.

Now, if you're gonna start writing it yourself, here is the stroke order.

I tried to make it as clear as possible but please ask me if you're confused on anything.

Red is the starting point of the whole symbol, the arrows indicate the direction to go in, x marks the start of the small extra's.

Now, I'd also recommend writing on some type of paper with vertical lines like this if you're gonna do it physically.

You can just turn a paper with normal, horizontal lines a quarter to get vertical lines. Also, do NOT write in between the lines. They are meant to help you keep the start and ending on the same line so you don't start going into crazy directions while writing. So, start your sentence symbol or hook or whatever in the middle of the line and try to keep coming back to that vertical line after every letter. As you gain more proficiency you'll probably go straight into the next letter without going back to the line all the time but I think this is a good starting point.

I also recommend writing with a fountain pen or something else that flows well because it’s easier to write that way.

Here is another rough draft I made on physical paper to get a feel for it. As you can see this draft had a lot more different starting characters and ending characters so just ignore that. Hope this motivates you a bit or smth.

Lmk if you want me to post a video of me writing in this Parselscript.

Also please let me know if you know of someone else who's also made a Parselscript because I tried to look for it on Tumblr and Twitter etc but I couldn't find anything.

I also feel like there’s a big mistake I made that I realised the last time I worked on this script but I’ve forgotten it now so if you find out please comment or dm or anything💀

Also feel free to use in your own fic, tho a little tiny shoutout in the a/n would be nice :) I’m @/kiwi_cult on Ao3, @/slvtr_ on Wattpad, @/kiwi cult on ff.net, @/slvtr.1 on TikTok and @/.slvtr on Discord.

Credits:

@natis-balamnimaja @asterialvia and @/zee (who unfortunately left the server and I don't know the Tumblr @ of) for brainstorming with me and @isalisewrites for inspiring us and making the server we discussed this in.

Okay bye :) tell me if I forgot anything.

🥝

[capt-t-leela]

why don't the new Futurama episodes scratch the itch in the same way that the classic episodes do?

I'm dashing this off quickly while my kid naps, so please keep that in mind when I speak generally and broadly and mostly from memory. It's also a very rough draft.

Classic Futurama had a pretty reproducible format that made it work from a story telling perspective as well as comedically and emotionally. The main source of humor was character driven - put a bunch of very different people into a sci-fi situation that they need to figure out and the conflict, comedy, and resolution will come together from that.

You could break the episodes down roughly like this and they'd all come together, with all of these established things paying off in the end in someway. Again, speaking broadly you establish the first act:

ACT ONE:

a. some big over arching sci-fi OR culturally satirical adventure / theme / scenario

b. an emotional conflict between some of the main characters / something someone is struggling with on their own and they need help with. This conflict is consistent with what we would expect from the characters and their development / traits.

c. a third seemingly goofy thing that was often played for laughs, but had some sort of plot relevance and helped drive the story forward.

Basically, in the first 7 minutes of the episode you'd get all three of those things laid out. The pacing is QUICK and it doesn't patronize its viewers.

Let's look at My Three Suns as an example:

ACT ONE:

a. delivery to the planet trisol - a unique and interesting setting that's new for everyone, not just fry.

b. fry is annoyed that Leela is so protective of him. Leela is annoyed that fry is being a careless idiot. Note: they both have VALID points here, one of them isn't just being irrational and easily dismissed.

c. wtf does bender actually do around here? SO once all of that is setup, we see the humor, conflict, and twists and turns stem from the questions all of these beats raise.

To boot, the characters work through whatever interpersonal / intrapersonal conflict in the context of the Big Adventure.

e.g. Fry realizes that his impulsivity has an effect on the people he cares about -- thanks to Bender's cooking leading him to drink the emperor and getting mixed up in another planet's dealings that then requires Leela to save him, despite her repeated warnings that he shouldn't be an idiot. None of this would have happened without the delivery to Trisol.

Another example:

Farnsworth Parabox:

ACT ONE:

a. the boxes with an infinite number of other universes. big sci-fi scenario to work through. with the potential for adventure! (big overarching adventure)

b. why won't Leela go out with fry??? they both know there's something there, but why is Leela so hesitant? what's stopping her? (interpersonal conflict / something emotional that needs to be resolved)

c. this episode spends a lot of time in the first act showing us key facets of the Planet Express Crew's personalities and quirks - how Leela goes about guarding the box (and her coin flipping, specifically), fry and bender trying to steal it and getting distracted (and Leela knowing what will distract each of them), professor being a crackpot, Hermes being a no nonsense pencil pusher, zoidberg being the worst - these are the goofy things that pay off because The Fighting Mongooses are our crew's foils and fun house mirrors and the comedy comes from their similarities and differences. (something seemingly goofy that helps drive the plot and conflict forward)

All of this is established in the first seven minutes of the episode!

Think about your favorite episodes, and I bet they breakdown similarly. Think about the episodes that don't land for you and I bet they're missing one ingredient (usually one, some, or both of the first two with the third thing usually being something completely irrelevant to the story).

Some Comedy Central era episodes that absolutely follow this formula to great success (not an exhaustive list):

The Prisoner of Benda

The Late Philip J Fry

A Farewell to Arms

Fry and Leela's Big Fling

Which leads me to my final point here....

IMHO one of the best Hulu era episodes is Related to Items You've Viewed, not just because I love me some Freela, but because it follows the formula. Momazon - tech company / monopoly cultural observation. Fry and Leela move in together, they have to navigate that big change together within the context of using Momazon. Bender does a Bender and feels left out, so he acts impulsively and runs away also to Momazon.

The formula isn't EVERYTHING, but it's a solid structure on which to hang lots of references and jokes and character growth.

Ok I gotta go actually like do parenting things, but there ya go. whatcha think?

[emblazons]

Note: I am finally posting this (something that has been in my drafts for actual months) because @pinkeoni hurt my feelings talking about Will and Alan Turing). So...you can inavertently thank Robin for this LMAO

I don’t delve much into Stranger Things analysis anymore, but having just watched The Imitation Game, the biopic they made about Alan Turning in 2014—I’m thinking that maybe Will doing his presentation on the man might have an delightful (secondary) parallel to this film’s exploration of him, given Will’s burgeoning queerness + ongoing relationship with normalcy.

Throughout the film, the ongoing theme of "differences bringing about greatness/change" permeates every character, but Turing especially—something that the conversation he has with a character named Joan near the end of the film showcases well:

In this conversation, Joan is trying to encourage Turing to come out of depression and rely on her, given he is struggling immensely with physical effects of chemical castration—which he obviously resents, but feels is better than giving up the life he has and being “entirely alone” because of his sexuality / desires (sound familiar)?

This ongoing exploration of queerness as tied to greatness and/or otherness is something that is very often explored in Stranger Things as well, primarily with Will—to the point where Will has nearly the exact conversation Alan has with Joan with Jonathan in S2:

—in addition to us exploring the relationship between a lack of normalcy, queerness and even nerdiness through/by other characters like Robin, Mike & Lucas.

Now (as we all know), Will’s homosexuality has been forever and inherently linked to his otherness/lack of normalcy—whether with how he was bullied in S1-S2, his struggle to be open with his feelings for Mike in S4, or the million literal / metaphorical things in between, Will has always been encouraged not to conform, but still struggles to self-actualize enough to embrace himself fully…which most of us expect for him come S5.

Basically: the underlying theme of this film for Turning (much like the underlying themes at the heart of ST) revolves around how most people strive for normalcy, despite normalcy being undesirable if you expect to do anything great/interesting. While Turing was a homosexual man, he was also one who struggled greatly with fitting in overall—much like Will, which I think perfectly reflects how the Duffers have set up their S5 resolution + solving Will’s ongoing internal struggle with his romantic feelings for Mike + ongoing dissonance with normalcy.

(sidebar: there are articles exploring the idea of "embracing difference" in this movie that parallel Will's "Being Different." See: Embracing Difference - The Imitation Game)

Both TIG!Turing and Will exist in on the fringes on their respective worlds due to their differences and homosexuality—just as both of them are both most inspired by their (romantic) love for their male best friends....to the point that those relationships define their contributions to the story: Turing with the machine that helped the Allied powers break the Nazi Enigma code, and Will in ways I'm sure we'll be talking about in 2025.

TL;DR: While Will still has another season to sort through what his love for his best friend means for both his rejection of normalcy and his greatness, it's fairly apparent that (much like Turing) it is the embracing of both difference and homosexuality that leads to greatness—no matter how the world feels about that overall.

(We love it when the gays learn life lessons (and when they win)).

[zesty-goblin-trash]

Ayeoo, finally working on my doll again. Small victory for me because my mental state has been chaotic to say the least.

I don't remember what, if anything, I've shared on my current goblin-self doll? Actually I can save this as a draft easily, lemme go check.

Oh g's like nothing. Okay. Welp, grab a snack cause I'm about to overexplain everything up to this point!

Right, so I made a custom Monster High doll a while back and for my first ever attempt at it, she turned put pretty good. Especially since she was meant to just be a practice piece for stuff as I was working on another doll along side it to be my first. Never finished that doll, but I think I have to high of expectations for it compared to my skill level right now.

Jump forward to G3 Monster High being released, and I decided to remake my test-doll-turned-goblin-self with a G3 Draculaura body because it much more accurately represents my body style. I got all the way to having the body painted, my own tattoos added, and various scars and marks detailed. And honestly, I was pretty happy with the result! Here's some photos of that;

Love the colors, and I was happy enough with what I'd done to keep moving, except for the face. It was driving me crazy that I could still see the line where I added the Apoxie Sculpt to the jaw so clearly, despite it being sanded as smooth as I could get it. So I wiped her head and was going to try again. Not sure what my plan was, to be honest, but she got shoved to the corner of the desk for a good while.

I ended up finding another G3 core Draculaura at Value Village in one of their hanging bagged toys, and for $8 bucks with all her accessories I couldn't pass it up. At the time I didn't plan on it, but ended up deciding to start over completely on v2 of my goblin-self using this doll. The core dolls have an articulated chest, unlike the budget dolls (Day Out which I was using, the 2 that came with the car from Costco, ect.), and there were a couple of things I think I could have done better on the body when it came to the joints.

Jumping forward I did all the prep work on the new doll, sanding everything to remove mold lines and smooth it all nice, removed the face up and hair, yadah yadah yadah. I then attempted to dye the new body with some Rit dye and whatever brand it is that's sold at Dollar Tree, knowing it wasn't going to take correctly because the Rit wasn't for synthetics. I was really only hoping to dye the joints darker, because if you've ever seen or customized your own dolls, body repaints rarely stay painted at the joints. It's kinda inevitable if your doll moves at all. I just wanted to reduce the jarring difference between OG light pink skin and the new green skin.

It sort of worked, the teal Rit did nothing (as I expected), but the red-orange Dollar Tree stuff dyed her a bit. I didn't do her head at all since this was just meant to darken the parts that'd be rubbing together.

If all the different plastics on the body would take dye the same way this would have been a cute color honestly 😂

Skintone differences aside, it did darken down the plastic used for the wrist and elbow joints, which was my main goal. But I had another idea I wanted to try as you may have noticed in the image background. Alcohol inks! I wouldn't recommend. At least not directly from the bottle dripped into the joint.

The high concentration of alcohol in the inks very quickly made the vinyl of the lower arms get gummy. It's the same reason you don't want to use acetone on the bodies of dolls basically, it just destroys the plastics a bit too much. The pigment did start to take to the plastic, but with how quickly I had to blot it back off to stop the plastic from melting it just didn't have enough time to stay. However it did make me think of another way to essentially stain the joints. I think the same could possibly be done with a brush and alcohol inks directly maybe? But my hubs has Prismacolor Alcohol based markers so I switched gears to bring those.

And yea! A very good option! At this point I'd already washed and resanded the body to remove the outer layers of the dye from the hard plastic parts so in that image she's pretty light again. It takes extremely well to the hard plastic parts and because the concentration of alcohol is much lower it doesn't make the vinyl arms feel sticky like the inks did. I have a video of the joints moving I'm going to upload on its own after. Cause I really think this might be a viable way to help reduce the obviousness of joints in skintone changes, and I don't want it buried in my nonsense 😂

I ended up coloring the whole body with the marker, not just the joints. The hard plastic took the pigment so well that if the paint does end up scraping off anywhere it was worth it to have the marker color underneath everything. I know that spots like the knees and the butt were getting scrape marks on the first repaint just from posing, so hopefully this helps those spots look good well after I'm finished the doll!

At this point I've now gotten the body all prepped and ready to paint with the new skintone. Sanded, dyed, MSC'd, and waiting! I started working on the new head while I was figuring out the dye situation.

I wasn't planning on making this a multiple post thing (other than the video) but I think I'ma split it up here! I'm still going to type out the next post now but I'll schedule it for later 😂 Because unlike Insta, I can do that and not have to remember to come back and actually make the post later.

And thanks if you've read this far ☺️ I apreaciate the interest! See you in the next one!

[tanix-dragon]

To Be the Dragon: Living as Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii

For many years now (about 6!), I've been in the alterhuman community, thinking about how I want to write about my dragon kintype. I’ve never written much, though, despite being fairly comfortable doing so. This isn’t out of lack of things to talk about—it’s more because I have such a basic run-of-the-mill spiritual dragon kintype (in my mind) that I wasn’t sure that writing about it would do anything for anyone. Besides, it’s all so normal to me. It’s hard to write about your life when it feels so utterly mundane that to pick each piece out of it feels ridiculous. I have a dozen concepts for essays in my Tumblr drafts, but in the end, I’ve just decided to write something big. I’m going to go through it all, all I can think of, because I don’t know if I can pull it apart enough to write about each piece separately. It’s all so intertwined that it’s just easier to write a big one.

Strap in. This is going to take awhile. I’m a wordy bastard and despite how little I actually go into it, I do know a lot about this kintype.

Awakening

This is where most people start, and I’m sorry to disappoint; this is a short one. When I was a kid, I loved dinosaurs, and when I discovered dragons, and I mean really discovered them, realized how cool they are, I felt some kind of deep resonance. As a kid, I figured that it was just because they were the coolest thing of all time. In reality, this awakened phantom limbs (I think? Or just strengthened them. I don’t really remember very well; “I” as I’m known didn’t quite exist at the time, system stuff, you understand) and set me on a path of self-discovery and overwhelming draconity. I was known as the “crazy dragon kid” at school, even for years after I stopped talking about them, and I’ve always been very recognizable, even at a distance, even for people that barely know me, because I “move differently.” A friend once told me that I move like someone put a lizard or a bird in a human’s body, that I have a dragon’s walk cycle, that I have the wrong animation set for my skeleton. That was a very nice thing to be told.

I don’t know. I spent a lot of years with constant phantom limbs and sort of figured that they were normal, more or less? I didn’t think about them. They were just a part of me. Only once I tripped over a dragonkin’s blog completely accidentally in early 2018 did I start putting pieces together, and then it hit me like lightning: oh. I’m a dragon. I’m actually a dragon. And I’m not alone. I started my Tumblr kin blog and that was that. No questioning, no kinsidering, no “am I really?”--I had known that the thing was dragon, but I hadn’t known how it applied to me, and the second I did, I knew it was right. I am a dragon, and that was that.

I’d wondered off and on for a while if someone could have a past life as a dragon, but had never mentioned it to anyone (at least as far as I remember), because I was worried about the response I’d get. Once I realized that I was otherkin, though, I embraced that wholeheartedly: I had been a dragon, and that had rolled over so powerfully that I still am a dragon. It fits, and I love it.

What’s it like?

“What’s it like being a dragon?” my non-kin friends ask me sometimes. It’s kind of almost exactly the same as being not a dragon, except my mental image of myself is a big blue dragon instead of a human. Chronic pain flaring up? Dragon curled up and complaining about it. OCD lashing out? Dragon resting head against the wall with shut eyes and half-bared teeth. Someone annoying me? Dragon with exposed teeth and fangs all puffed up to try to make them back down.

My dragon body maps onto my human body to produce feeling like an anthro dragon most of the time, even though my dragonself isn’t even bipedal. It’s the happy medium my brain can settle on between what I feel I should be and my physical reality, although, again, mentally, most of the time when I imagine myself, I’m as I should be. In headspace where my headmates can see me, I’m quadrupedal unless I’m doing something that requires me to be bipedal. (Our headspace is pretty flexible, don’t worry about it.) All of this evens out to me moving kind of oddly—toss in how stiff and sore I am all the time (it’s some kind of unknown but disabling condition, hooray), and you get someone who moves very oddly. I turn my head like there’s significantly more weight to it than there should be, I visibly squeeze through spaces that are plenty big enough for me as if trying to accommodate great wings, I walk with a slight adjustment to my hips to compensate for a heavy tail, and I lift my shoulders to flare or gesture with my wings. I have slight head movements that correspond to how I move my ear fins, expressions that call for me to bare my teeth, gestures that only make sense with wings, tail, and claws, and a dozen other little things I probably don’t even notice that I do.

I don’t get a lot of species dysphoria anymore. I’d prefer to be able to switch in and out of dragon form (ideally with that anthro dragon that my brain has invented for me as an option too! I do love it as a middle ground), but I can make do as-is. I spent untold centuries as a dragon, I can handle some decades as a human. I’m here now, and I have a different life to live, and frankly, I love humans. I love the things they do, the cultures they have, the things they make, the ways they act, and I feel really lucky that I get to be in one of those human cultures and witness others. I have a minor in anthropology—I promise I’m not about to become a misanthrope anytime soon. I believe that humans are inherently creatures like any other, and can be driven to great good or great evil. I don’t believe that’s a reason to hate them, and besides, some part of me identifies as human as well as my kintypes. Not everyone does, but I do, and it’s comfortable for me.

I do have a few draconic instincts I have to juggle, but none are terribly maladaptive or troublesome. I know exactly how to breathe fire and want to when angry or struggling to keep a fire going in winter, and I know that there’s something in my chest and something else in my throat that are missing, structures that allow firebreathing, but I have phantoms and can mimic it okay, so I can huff and puff and burn nothing down. I have a prey drive that kicks in hard watching squirrels or, worse, rabbits out of my window, but I don’t ever actually chase anything (not that my slow ass could catch anything even if I did). I want to sharpen my claws, curl up in the sun, growl and threat-display with my wings (and do flare my phantoms when I’m in the car and another vehicle does something I don’t like), and a bunch of other small things I can’t think of right now. Again, it doesn’t bother me—it’s just affirmations of my draconity, and most are subtle enough that I can do them in front of people and they don’t notice, or, if they do, they don’t think much of it. 

What’s it like? What a question. What else do I say? Sometimes my chronic back pain reaches into my rhomboid muscles, which is where my phantom wings connect, so it registers as wing pain, I guess. That doesn’t usually happen, but it can. I walk on my toes a lot because I naturally want to move digitigrade. Shocker, I know. I don’t know—what’s it like being a dragon? What’s it like being human, or anything else? What’s it like to be who and what you are?

The Dragon Driik’lor

Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii. Tanix of Fire and Breath. What a name—and one I have known parts of for a long, long time. As a kid, I’d sign off messages and emails as Tanadin of Fire and Air. When choosing a name for myself when I came out as trans (Tanix), I knew that I wanted something with the nickname ‘Tan’ still, derived originally from my username “Tanadin,” because it felt right. Was my name truly Tanix? I don’t know. It feels right, or at least, right enough. I swapped out “air” for “breath” because Tanix lei Dramon ak Voron didn’t feel as right. I guess the question is—who is, or was, this Tanix, and what language is that?

(I'll occasionally be referring to my dragonself as Tanix and myself as… me, I guess. I know, I’m sorry, that’s confusing, but that’s driiv name as far as I know, and calling driik anything else feels weird.)

Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii was a mature adult dragon of a sapient and extremely intelligent species with its own language. My noemata have provided me with pieces of this language—individual words and ideas on its structure, some suffixes, some sounds and pieces of what a sentence should sound like. A few letters, even, for the written version. For the past fourteen or so years, I have worked on uncovering as much of this language (that, as a kid, I called Dranonic, and I haven’t changed that) as I can, and have made up much of the rest. I will never reconstruct an entire language from noemata alone, and I know that, so I just do what doesn’t feel wrong and change things if I get an inkling that I’m off somewhere.

Tanix’s species had some extremely complex social rules and dances that driit largely didn’t do much with. Dragons could be either solitary or live in clans, and driit was pretty solitary. Driit was also fucking annoying. Sorry, but it’s true—Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii was a pretentious, self-centered, prideful, overconfident bastard that had other dragons going “oh gods here comes Tanix again, just smile and wave.” Driit was a bulky, powerful, physically imposing dragon, and driit knew it. (In this human life, my family is actually fairly dense and stout despite being quite tall, so that’s free species euphoria.) As far as I can tell, given driiv five horns and larger stature, driit was female. (I talk about horn count and dragon gender more in my essay Counting Horns and Making Assumptions, or, Draconic Age and Gender, if you’re interested.) However, pronouns in Dranonic are based on age category, not gender, so the fact that Tanix and driiv mate have different pronouns is because of a difference in age, not gender.

Oh, Selkhenar. Selkhenar of the Darkened Swamp. I wish I knew more about you. Muut seems to be the only dragon that Tanix wasn’t a huge bitch to—and let me tell you something. Driit was vain as fuck. My dragon instincts know what driit did and did not find attractive in a dragon, and Selkhenar was considered, in that society, to be a kind of dumpy little green and black swamp beast with a weirdly long face, short ass legs, and kind of weird proportions.

And driit loved muut more than anything. Every time I think about Selkhenar, I get holdover fuzzies and butterflies from my time as the dragon the first go-around, and man, driit was gone for this swamp dragon. I have flashes of memory of much more impressive-looking dragons trying to woo driik and getting passed up, but accidentally tripping over Selkhenar in the swamp just beyond the edge of driiv territory was apparently what driik needed.

They had at least one clutch of eggs together. I remember guarding them ferociously, even growling at Selkhenar once before recognizing muuk. I remember them hatching into the cutest little whelplings of all time, and I remember them being a mix of blue and green and red and black. I remember teaching them to fly, throwing them over the ledge outside of the cave and off the cliff. Selkhenar was below, ready to catch if they didn’t figure it out, but still, uh, not the strategy I would recommend, necessarily. I remember hunting for them, both land animals and skimming the lake outside of our cave, down in the evergreens at the base of the mountain, for fish, even though… Selkhenar was a water dragon and therefore better suited to fishing…. I think it was a pride thing. Tanix was a ferociously prideful dragon and I suspect driit was like NO, MY LOVE, I WILL HUNT FOR YOU, YOU TINY THING… YOU GUARD THE BABIES WHILE I PROVIDE FOR YOU…. and then proceeded to accidentally driik’lor (Dranonic for him/her/themself) into the water. Repeatedly. Over and over. I have very firm noemata of hunting fish, eating fish, and fucking up while hunting fish and fouling my wings and falling into the lake. I was an okay swimmer and was mostly just glad that no one saw, but like… come on. Let the swamp dragon do it. I mean, I’m sure muut did, but I don’t have memories of that.

What’d This Dragon Look Like, Anyway?

Good question! That’s something I have the firmest grasp on. I’ve been drawing this dragon for as long as I’ve been super aware of dragons, and driit has been through a lot of iterations, but I think I’m very close.

Tanix lei Dramon ak Hyuukii was approximately fifty feet long from nose to tailtip. Driit was a deep, intense blue (take a peek at any art I’ve ever done of driik/myself) with bright red stripes along driiv midline—basically, along the spine, down the tail, and along the face. The stripes also appeared on driiv legs and maybe wings, but I’m not sure about that one. Driit had five horns that were either darker blue or slightly purple that curved slightly back and were slightly offset from one another, with each set being slightly smaller than the last and a bit further back, with the single horn being the smallest and furthest back. Driit also had a single nose spike that matched the horns. Driit had big (kind of disproportionately big) ear fins, a more recent discovery of mine and out of date on most of my art, used for communication and showing of mood, mostly. Driiv “hands” had three fingers and a thumb, driiv back feet had three toes and a dewclaw, and driiv wings had four “fingers” with membrane stretched between them and a fifth “finger” that seemed to serve little to no purpose. This wing membrane connected pretty low down on the body (near or on the tail), providing a large area for lift. I believe this membrane was a lighter color than the scales around it, and I have the distinct feeling that I could flush blood into it to make it change color—red, I think? Maybe it was just some markings that could appear. I’m not sure.

Along driiv back were spikes or spines, of a similar color to the horns, lined up perfectly with the stripes. I know that driit had some kind of dangerous weapon on the dip of driiv tail, and I know that this thing had three sharp points, but its exact shape and color, I’m less sure on. I know that the tail itself was fairly flexible, especially near the tip, but was most assuredly a powerful weapon when needed. Driiv belly was lightly plated, providing protection for the vital organs. Driit also, of course, had sharp teeth and a forked tongue, although two of driiv teeth were elongated and poked slightly out of the mouth when shut, which I tend to call driiv fangs.

The Binding

Back in August of 2023, I tripped over an image that made dragonbrain click on and triggered a fear response as well as a flood of noemata. The post I wrote at the time of that discovery is here, but I’ll write it out in a more comprehensible format, both for your convenience and so that I have a more organized version in general.

Some kind of humanoid species (not humans) on my planet found and trapped me when I was quite young, and dragged me to a structure not dissimilar to the image I found, not far from or in one of their cities. My limbs and jaws were chained so that I couldn’t fight or escape, and I so clearly remember feeling my claws and scales scrape over that rough, coarse stone, and the sound of the chains dragging across it. Some of the humanoids rode other dragons, who were clearly enslaved and, in many ways, broken. They had no choice but to obey, or face punishment. Their eyes were dull and they passed over me without registering me, because to acknowledge that such a young dragon was facing their same fate was, I imagine, too painful.

For the record, I was so young that I thought I might be able to carry one of these humanoids, maybe, and not all of my red markings had come in yet. I was very young.

For some reason or another—maybe I was misbehaving, maybe this was protocol with all new dragons, I don’t know—they dragged me to a dungeon underneath a great arena where they made some dragons that they figured they could never turn into mounts fight for their amusement. I was chained up down there, fairly tightly, barely fed and barely able to move. There were a couple of other dragons down there with me, in the dark and the damp, curled up on those horrible stone bricks just like I was. I could barely see them, it was so dark, but they could see me, their eyes more adjusted due to years or decades down here.

My primary companion was a dull red dragon, an adult male, as far as I can figure. I don’t remember muuv name, but it started with an Ez- or an El- with a z in there somewhere, and ended in -iel or something along those lines. Elaziel, Ezkhaliel, Ezkerial, Elzariel? I don’t remember. I wish I did. I remember muut being as reassuring as muut could be, trying to do muuv best for this poor scared youngling. Muut was beaten and broken but incapable of either fighting or being a mount—one or more of muuv limbs were gone or broken and healed incorrectly. Muut couldn’t fly and I think muut struggled to walk. I don’t know why the humanoids kept muut alive, but I do know that I reinvigorated muuk, and muut decided to do whatever muut could to get me out.

I don’t remember what happened, really. All I know is that, at some point, there was an escape, and multiple dragons made it out, or at least tried to. I remember the red dragon shouting “Mor anor axid, mor anor axid! Mor anor axid veran!”, which is Dranonic for “Let them fly, let them fly! Let them fly away!” with “anor” being distinctly plural���you would never call a single dragon “anor,” indicating that there were multiple dragons trying to get away. I know muut wasn’t among them—muut would never make it out, and I’m sure that the humanoids killed him after. I never looked back. I never saw.

I know that there was a light green dragon involved in all that, a female, I think. Muut was chained down there with myself and the red dragon, and maybe others. Maybe muut was the other one in “anor.” I don’t know. I don’t remember much about muut.

I do remember part of the escape—the red dragon’s shouted pleas, the hesitation of the dragon mounts, the sting of the dragonbone arrows fired from the humanoids that pierced my scales (because of course they harvested the bodies of their spent slaves, why wouldn’t they, the bastards), the screaming of my underused wing muscles as I tore out of that place and never looked back, not once.

I never returned. Not even as an adult, not even once my fifth horn came in. I flew far, far away, and never drew closer again. I never wanted to see that place, never wanted to fear it, never wanted to risk it. My two fears as a dragon were that place and the ocean, and the second, I feel, had some kind of horrible dragon-slaughtering beast in it that was a long, instinctive, genetic terror. That horrible place beat it out by miles.

A Couple Other Memories

I remember other things, too, not just that whole… sequence, or what I talked about before. I know that there were some kind of “dragon mimics” out there, some kind of insectoid things that looked like dragons at a distance but revealed what they were close up. They’d either do displays intended to anger a dragon and draw them close, or courtship displays to interest a dragon. Either way, once a dragon was close enough for the mimic to strike, it was too late. A lot of insectoid dragon designs set off my dragonbrain’s “mimic alarm,” and it’s kind of interesting to play with and see what triggers it and what doesn’t. I’m sure I had personal experience with them—I have too clear of a mental image of one trying to lure me in for anything else—but I don’t know the specifics.

One of the memories that I’ve had, crystal clear, for a long time, is my death. I was falling from a great height, wings too damaged to hold me, uselessly streaming behind me as I fell. Selkhenar flew down with me in a panic, knowing muut could never catch me (I was far bigger than muuk), trying to talk me into getting my wings sorted out and at least slowing my fall or something. I remember there being wounds all over me—I’d been losing some great, horrible battle—and peering at Selkhenar, thinking it was very sweet of muuk to be so worried about me but I was clearly lost, muut needed to get out of here—and then a sharp pain at the base of my skull, where it connects to my spine, and nothing. I feel like it was some sort of projectile, well-aimed, that took me out instantly.

I’m still afraid of heights without my wings.

Wrap-Up

There’s more, I’m sure. More specific essays that I feel like I can write now that I’ve gotten most of it down. I could write an essay on draconic courtship, or what little I know of rearing offspring, or whatever else comes to mind. For now, though—that’s most of it. That’s The Everything. I’ve been meaning to put this together for a long time, and now I have, and I hope it’s helpful to someone—either in understanding me, or in understanding yourself. I know that, when you’re questioning something, reading about someone else’s experiences helps a lot. I’ve never felt like talking about my dragon kintype was ever going to be terribly helpful in that regard—after all, there’s a dozen other similar essays out there—but I decided, well, it’s not for other people. It’s for me. And no one’s written four thousand words detailing my kintype before.

That’s the thing about writing like this. It’s for you, and if it helps someone else, that’s just a bonus. Write what will help you, what will let you figure yourself out and document it so that, if it changes, you can pinpoint when that was and track your own growth and change. I wonder what, in a few years, will be inaccurate in this essay? I wonder what I will add, what I will change, in a theoretical future version?

I guess we’ll find out together. Thanks for reading.

[webcomixwastaken]

Honestly, every time I see someone insist they need AI for writing, be it for getting an idea or drafting their piece or even basic grammar my instinct is to say:

"Just... GET GOOD."

Like, have no ideas? Then read more books in ALL sorts of genres, styles, and authors. Even read different age groups (if you only read YA but are over the age of 20, I promise you there is plenty of Adult out there you will love. Find it. You deserve it.) Do the same for movies, shows, and plays. Go to festivals and exhibitions and concerts. Dabble in different hobbies to observe and talk to people, all sorts of people. EXPERIENCE LIFE, that's how you'll be inspired to write about it. Know the world and how you feel in it beyond what the internet tells you to. (Also, you'll find out that your "brilliantly unique concept" has likely been done before and that your personal life experience will be the thing that makes it genuinely unique.)

Think your writing is bad? AI can't make it good for you. AI is a shitty writer. If you want to write I assume you like to read. (If you want to write but don't like to read then you have an incredibly tough, nigh impossible road to "being a good writer" ahead of you.) Again, read as widely as you can. Fanfic alone will not help you unless you only want to write fanfic which I do know applies to a lot of people. There's a fantastic thread floating around here that explains why writing for fanfic vs writing original work for publication are very different spheres. And as someone who reads a bunch of both, the best fanfic still has structure, character development, and actual plot, very similarly to books. (This is very much my subjective opinion, but I despise "no plot only vibes" -- to me both are integral to a good read. This 100% applies to tradpub too; the social media trope-focused marketing annoys me to no end. What is your story ABOUT?? If you can't tell me I have no interest in reading it.)

Instead of taking the shortcut that is actually sending you back to the start anyway, just... GET GOOD. And you get good by BEING BAD. Compose some trite purple prose nonsense rife with cliches. Have all your characters be shameless Mary Sues. Or, as I see the most often in early writers, be pedantic and repetitive as fuck because you don't know that you're doing it yet until after a year or so you look back and go "why the hell did I talk so much about this irrelevant thing? it totally disrupted the momentum of the scene and doesn't even develop character." And then, you'll realise that you've learned how to edit! Congratulations! You must understand that AI doesn't know this. AI is just plagiarising a couple hundred thousand people. AI has no brain. Don't trust it. Don't even play with it. It is a pathetic zombie concoction that only causes damage to others and the environment. Trust YOUR BRAIN. You are SO MUCH SMARTER. You KNOW what you want and like, you have way better ideas and images you want to convey. And in time you will know how to convey them accurately and compellingly in a way that sounds like you.

And finally, AI for grammar and spelling? Hoo boy do I have some opinions. Well, just one. Which is to simply GET GOOD!!

People bitch that English is a difficult language to learn but hey! All languages have their rules and nuances, so that's merely subjective! Whatever language you want to write in, learn those rules!! Seriously, just GET GOOD!! it's doable! I do it! In fact, many people do it and have DONE SO FOR YEARS.

Honestly, I don't use ANY kind of grammar software beyond the basic spellcheck automatically built into browsers and word processors nowadays (the ones that give you wiggly lines while you're typing and even then I rarely right click to accept since I find it faster to simply retype properly) because I KNOW MY SHIT. I know how to construct sentences, use consistent tense, punctuate properly, and capitalise or italicise or utilise any other convention of the English language I wish to follow or break because this is my craft, and I know how to shape it to become what I want my work to be.

So here is where I expect people to be all like "but what if I'm NOT a native speaker of the language huh huh??" Well, you're choosing to write in this language though. Do your level best -- and here is where I will say that this grammar stuff IS the most forgivable aspect anyway. Spelling errors or janky phrasing never hurt anyone when we can tell it's coming from a place of true diligence and effort, in fact one of my favourite fanfics of all time was set a summer camp and the NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKING author wrote "councilor" until about chapter 20 when they asked us, utterly mortified, in the notes why nobody had corrected them (because the plot and characterisation were immersive AF and felt like it came from a real person with real experiences). Some of the most poetic syntax and delightful descriptions I've come across were from people writing in not their first language, or even second or third -- children and adults alike, still learning and still TRYING because they took this shit seriously and were putting in their all.

This is the part that I personally cannot comprehend (but in a practical way I do, only because I see it EVERYWHERE) of people claiming that they just can't "get" grammar and need some brainless software running on codes and algorithms to "correct" them - don't you want to be FREE of this dependence?? Wouldn't you prefer to write KNOWING that it says what you WANT it to say instead of hoping that maybe 30% will remain after a program strips it of voice and style (and then because you're no longer paying attention, it also makes your sentences just WORSE and not "succinct" at all)?? Don't you want to be grown and confident with SKILLS instead of whining for help (which just boils to someone doing it FOR you, not actual help) all the time???????? Like seriously!! Have some self-esteem!!!!! You deserve it!!!! GET GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been teaching fiction writing as my day job for nearly a decade now and when my students fret over their sub-par skills I always ask them how old they are. Because they should know that 9 year olds aren't supposed to spell everything correctly. Instead, they're supposed to make mistakes so they can learn how to fix them. Then, they should practise and practise and practise until they're 19 and realise that the habit has developed so beautifully that they're finding it HARD to make mistakes!

And if you're 29 and still struggling, no it's not too late. The best time was to start 20 years ago but the second best is now. Writing is pretty much a lifetime gig so keep going, and GET GOOD!!

[specialgradefckr]

hey, plz can u write yandere satosugo x y/n where she feel left out and insecure in the relationship ( basically like a 3rd wheel) with lots of angst and yandere vibes.

Soooo.... you sent this like. WAYYYY back near the end of JUNE.

I actually didn't think the Heatwave series would take as long as it did. I have three more to go, and honestly, I'm not sure how long each one will take.

I want to finish the Heatwave series before I start on anything else. I've actually got a few things drafted up that I'm not posting because I feel guilty about not working on the Heatwave stuff lol... it's SO HARD to finish things.

But not only did I get an idea for this, I've drafted it out, and written a considerable amount. I'm unreasonably excited about it now even though I can't post anything until the Heatwave series is done sdfjhkgslhdfg.

In this fic though, you won't be a part of the relationship exactly. You're all friends and Satoru and Suguru have gotten together.

Here's, like, a micro-preview:

This must be what dying feels like. Seeing the man you love and the man you lust for so painfully, peacefully, blissfully in love with each other. If this is dying, you're surely going to hell for thinking something so awful about a feeling so beautiful. It’s the sort of thing you think to yourself, bury deep – deep – inside the depths of your mind. Dredging it out in the late hours of the night when you can’t sleep. Wallowing in your unrequited love, feeling sorry for yourself, while also comforting yourself with the thought that at least now you didn’t have to do anything. You would never have to approach your longtime crush, Suguru Geto, and potentially ruin your friendship with him. It was something you’d struggled with for years, and after Gojo showed up – you didn’t have to struggle anymore. It was already lost. And the insane twists your fantasies would play out for you, all white hair and long slender limbs, in those lonely nights in bed – you could be free of those, too. You could completely dismiss the insane idea of propositioning the man-whore menace of a human being who made your heart race, Satoru Gojo. Gojo and Geto loved each other, and it would be wrong to get in the way of that. At this point, even saying anything to either of them would be a trespass on your friendship, with both of them.

[liivzen]

Hiii i saw your requests are open. So i have a little something. So, I've had this daydream about post-war levi, where he has a cozy little tea shop. The reader, who is a law student, goes there to study quite frequently. She basically went there for the ambiance and kept going for the owner, if you get me :p. So yeah, it is obvious to lev that she has a crush on him, and you know you know, they talk and all that and one thing leads to another. I hope this isn't too detailed. You can let out anything you're not comfortable with, of course. Lots of luvv ~~

bruh i seriously i have an issue with tumblr. they deleated my draft i had for this. BUT ANYWAYS HIIIIIII, you’re the first person to have a request everrrr! Im so happy someone finally submitted something! I hope this is something that you like, i wish i could’ve wrote more but i am busy with finals (fucking kms). I hope i can expand on this soon though:)

nothing nsfw for now but hopefully we’ll expand on that as well 😏 Also mind the grammar or errors of any kind, I am not an english major for a reason.

You sat in a chair at a small table against the window of the little tea shop in town. Your books scattered around the table, but with no actual work getting done though however. You’re attention was on the man behind the counter with his back facing towards you making a tea for a fellow customer.

This isnt isnt the first time you’ve been at the tea shop. You started coming just to study and enjoy a tea or two. Now you stay for a completely different reason, or well person. You couldn't help put stare at his defined back, his sleeves rolled to his forarms and hands moving with skill.

Unknown to you, Levi could feel your stare, and has been feeling them for months. He could feel you staring at him right now, he tries ignoring it but in the end he always turns around and makes brief eye contact with you. You quickly looked away, breaking the eye contact and pretend to work on whatever was in front of you.

You keep working, sort of, while stealing quick glances to the man. This goes on until it starts to get dark outside and you can tell the owner is starting to clean up the shop. He slowly finishes wiping down a table next to yours and you try not to stare by pretending to work. He slowly makes it to your table now and clears his throat looking at you.

You peek up through your eyelashes before he starts saying something.

“Miss, the shop is about to close.” He says softly, looking into your eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll clean up and get out of your way.” You replied back to him, starting to pack up your stuff into the your satchel. He nods at you as a thanks, but not before setting something on the table. Confused, you pick it up.

‘come to the shop on Sunday, 6 o’clock’

You think for a second, wondering why you might have gotten this. Then your brain clicks, the shop is closed on Sundays. Heat starts to rise to your face as you look over to the man again, he’s back behind the counter, back to you cleaning tea cups. You grabbed your satchel and walk over to the counter, this time your the one to clear your throat.

“Um, can I ask you your name sir?” You ask him politely. He turns around, cup and rag in hand.

“It’s Levi.” He responds, while still cleaning the cup. You nod your head at his response, shifting on your feet nervously.

“Can I ask why you left this note Levi.” You prompt him, saying his name with a soft tone. This time he sets the tea cup down and leaning on the counter slightly.

“Well I was hoping I could see the pretty girl thats always in my shop, but on her own.” He replied with a bit of red on his cheek as well. You hum at his answer, thinking about what you’re going to respond with. After a moment of silence Levi opens his mouth,

“If you’re not comfortable-“

“Ok, Mr. Levi.” You interrupt him before he can get his full sentence out. He stares at you for a second and nods his head.

“Ok then, I’ll see you sunday then?” He clarifies.

“I’ll see you on Sunday Mr.Levi.” You smile at him, a small blush on your face. You turn around and start to walk out the door, the little bell atop it chiming when it’s opened. You turn your head over your shoulder one last time and wave at him. Levi gives a small smile back, hands returning to clean tea cups. Walking out with a blush and a smile on your face you have one little thing on your mind now, nothing related to school work.

You have a date this Sunday.

[self-spaghettification]

ok so i accidentally deleted the draft but a while back an anon asked me basically saying they had read Gone (are the Days) and wanted other good fanfic recs. and this was my response LMAO

hmm !! this may surprise you but i actually don’t consume that much fanfic. partially because i’m picky, partially bc i tend to consume content slowly or bounce around a lot, etc

i will say a general tip is to sort by bookmarks or kudos to get the good stuff and filter by specific tags as well! like i just read mage pride which is the top bookmarked item in the viravos tag and it was definitely worth the hype!!

if you enjoyed gone are the days,

you’d probably like the Professor Next Door by detectiphoenix (also a professor au but high school teachers!) besides that, here are some viravos fanfic i’ve enjoyed, off the top of my head:

(for context i’m not hyper into smut personally or try to find variety/creativity and i’m biased towards certain things lol but)

VIRAVOS FICS I LOVED <3

Mage Pride by luminiex - This is the top bookmarked fic in the viravos tag, and for good reason! While it is written after S2 and has more sympathetic Aaravos than in canon, it is still very well done in my opinion. I also love whatever it takes by them, it’s great if you don’t like smut too! Aaravos and Viren living together in this plane together lives rent free in my head 😭 I also love their fic where Aaravos gets to meet Viren’s family :)

Recidivism by indefensibleselfindulgence/ @iamalivenow - the viren characterization is everything, it takes place in s2 prison era, and it’s very humorous!

The Sound of His Voice by portmanteau_press - very very cool setup/worldbuilding concept i think

Constellation of the Heart by @yurayuramiharin - This fic is one of my absolute favorites and has inspired some of the art I’ve done as well! As someone who loves vintage & goth subculture & IS a baby bat in college I feel like I resonate with it really well! I love the taking of the worldbuilding of the dragon prince recontextualized in a college setting and the way Aaravos was actually an inspiration for Bowie & caused Viren to question his sexuality!! It’s so deliciously perfect but sadly unfinished, but I would say it’s still definitely worth the read! It doesn’t really end on a cliffhanger either, just one of the best burns ever 😁

Touch of a Star by @detectiphoenix - really unique take on what it’s like to touch Aaravos, I adore it sm and think about it everyday too. Fluffy S5 extrapolation/continuation

To Serve or Slaughter by beastlybrooke - viravos recontextualized as vampires like castlevania my other recent fixation? sign me up. it’s interesting how viren’s prejudice towards elves is recast as a prejudice towards vampires, and aaravos’s fight towards the elves and view towards humans i love it everything

honorary mention ficlets:

the stars they lie by rikku - this is short but i really like the way they incorporate virrow and mindgames, as well as enby aaravos :)

Checkmate by @thrandilf is also short and sweet but i adore it, i think about the alternate versions of the s5 trailer sm and even tried writing my own a few times but they never went that far but yeah i love it and they have other fics that are great too

respect his decision by @vestaldestroyer because aaravos didn’t have to revive viren s4 but he did and ughgghhghh while i don’t think he cares that much cause he might have just been using the revival as a way in with claudia and continuation of all that, there’s always that off chance and he doesn’t even realize how attached he is and love is just that huge when you’re that old and powerful, large enough to move mountains and yeah </3

i’d put my own can you stay by @self-spaghettification but that’d seem a bit unfair lol

—

there’s probably others i’ve yet to read or that are cool but i don’t remember or that have some good parts but are kind of iffy imo but those are the only ones i can think of off the top of my head i’m sorry </3

but i’ve also have been compiling a list of fic ratings on a google doc and uhh its not really sharable in any way, but a while ago I also had a website concept where people could share fic ratings like goodreads but for ao3 with some other site inspo in the mix that i spent a few hours sketching out the concept of but idk if i should share but yeah :)

[unpopularwriter25]

hi! this is kinda my first time requesting a fic so like ahhhh

Uhm, so could i request kyojuro fluff? modern/both are students in university au? basically rivals to lovers sorta things :D

so it kinda just starts out with reader & kyo (who have opposite personalities) being forced to partner up for some sort of group project bcs everyone else already has a dang group and the only person available was absent. an’ then there’s just sum like bickering as they plan out the project.

a few days into working on the project, they head to like a cafe or smth and someone mistakes them for a couple (heh. i mean cmon, they bicker like an old married couple). anyways, after that whole debacle, they continue working on the project together.

and at the very end, they realise “oh sh-t, i kinda like them!” >///<

so in summary: kyojuro and reader get partnered up for a project bcs the only person who they could partner with is not there, they bicker snd scold each other as they plan the project. when they head to the cafe and actually work on the actual assignment, someone mistakes them for a couple bcs they’re bickering like on! and when they do finish, both realise “oh i kinda like em..”

im not sure if this works, but uhm… yeah! tysm!!!

Sorry for the delay!! I hope this is what you wanted!!

Unexpected Partnerships

The sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the bustling university campus. Students were scattered across the green lawns, chatting, laughing, and working on their assignments. The large, ancient oak trees rustled in the warm breeze, their leaves dancing in the twilight.

You were sitting at the back of the lecture hall, flipping through your notes with a sigh. The professor had just announced a major group project, and as usual, everyone had already formed their groups, leaving you stranded. You weren’t exactly the most outgoing person, preferring to keep to yourself rather than mingling with others.

The door creaked open, and in walked Kyojuro Rengoku, his usual bright smile plastered on his face. His fiery hair was hard to miss, and his energetic aura seemed to fill the entire room. You groaned inwardly. Of all people, why did he have to be the one without a partner?

The professor clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Alright, everyone! It looks like we have an odd number of students today, so Y/N and Kyojuro will be partnering up.”

Kyojuro’s eyes met yours, and he beamed. “Looks like it’s you and me!”

You sighed, feeling a mix of annoyance and resignation. “Yeah, great.”

A few days later, you and Kyojuro found yourselves in the library, trying to figure out how to tackle the project. The atmosphere was tense, the quiet whispers of other students and the rustling of pages creating a backdrop to your bickering.

“We should start by outlining the main points,” Kyojuro suggested, his voice cheerful as always.

You rolled your eyes. “No, we need to gather all our research first. Outlining comes later.”

Kyojuro’s smile faltered for a moment, but he quickly recovered. “I see your point, but if we don’t have a clear direction, our research might be all over the place.”

You crossed your arms, glaring at him. “And if we outline without research, we’ll miss important information.”

The debate went back and forth, neither of you willing to budge. It felt like an eternity before you both reluctantly agreed on a compromise.

“Fine,” you said, scribbling in your notebook. “We’ll outline a rough draft while we research.”

Kyojuro nodded, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Sounds good to me.”

A few days later, you decided to take a break from the library and head to a cozy little cafe off-campus. The warm, inviting aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods filled the air as you sat down with your laptops and notebooks.

The cafe was a quaint little place with wooden tables, soft lighting, and shelves lined with books and plants. It had a calming atmosphere, a stark contrast to the usual hustle and bustle of campus life.

You were deep in discussion, your voices rising slightly as you argued over the best way to present your findings.

“Your idea is too convoluted,” you snapped, frustration evident in your tone.

Kyojuro chuckled, unfazed. “And yours is too simplistic.”

A barista passing by overheard your conversation and smiled. “You two remind me of an old married couple,” she said with a wink before walking away.

Both of you froze, turning to look at each other with wide eyes. An awkward silence settled between you, the previous tension replaced by a different kind of discomfort.

You quickly brushed it off, clearing your throat. “Let’s just focus on the project.”

Kyojuro nodded, but there was a slight blush on his cheeks. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

As the weeks passed, you found yourselves spending more and more time together, your initial animosity slowly turning into something more tolerable. You still bickered, but it felt different now—more playful than hostile.

One evening, you were putting the finishing touches on your project. The sun had long set, and the campus was quiet, the only sound being the tapping of keys and the occasional murmur of conversation.

The library was nearly empty, the dim lighting casting long shadows on the walls. You glanced at Kyojuro, who was focused intently on the screen, his fiery hair glowing under the desk lamp. A strange warmth spread through your chest, and you realized with a start that you didn’t mind his company. In fact, you kind of liked it.

Kyojuro looked up, catching your gaze. “Something on your mind?”

You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Just thinking.”

He tilted his head, curious. “About what?”

You hesitated for a moment before deciding to take a chance. “About how this project turned out better than I expected.”

Kyojuro’s smile widened. “Yeah, I have to agree. We make a pretty good team, don’t we?”

You nodded, feeling a flutter in your stomach. “Yeah, we do.”

As you both packed up your things, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement for what the future might hold—not just for your grades, but for the unexpected friendship that had blossomed between you and Kyojuro.

[sarandipitywrites]

🐍- How do you deal with it when you come across a plothole?

I sit on the edge of it, my little shovel in hand, and stare into its depths as I contemplate my life choices.

Once I finish doing that, I try to look at what happens before the hole, after the hole, and at what's currently in the hole and figure out where the problem actually is. Like, if it's a "[character] would not do that" sort of issue, for example, I need to figure out if the problem is that [character] would, in fact, not do that, or if they would, but I just haven't done a good enough job of convincing the reader of that, yet.

Sometimes, though, a plot hole comes up because something I've written legitimately makes so sense with an existing bit of worldbuilding. When that happens, I have a choice: I can change the plot hole, change the worldbuilding, or dive headfirst into the plot hole and change the rest of the story to accommodate it. I chose the third option near the end of the first draft of The Art of Empty Space, which is how I ended up with an entirely new story lol

Not sure how much you saw of it while I was posting last year, but the basic premise of the first draft was a Beauty and the Beast style, monster-in-a-castle story, with the curse centering around Baz (the monster) and his real name. The plot hole came at the very end, when Lienzo was meant to learn the true name and break the curse; the problem was that anyone who learned the monster's real name would immediately forget everything about him (as, you know, part of the curse). What would make Lienzo so special? Why wouldn't he forget, when everyone else did?

The solution was: he wasn't special. He did forget. And that's now where the second draft of AES starts: after all the events of the original draft. Now, instead of it being a Beauty and the Beast retelling, it's a mystery thriller where Lienzo has to uncover what's already happened to him, break the cycle of this magically-induced amnesia, and break the curse on the beast and the city (and figure out who originally cursed them and why).

So, short answer: sometimes I fix the plot hole. Sometimes the hole fixes the plot 🤷

Thank you for the ask! 💜

[a-regular-ol-pill]

Hey my little pellets! I just wanted to announce something that me and my friends have been working on. It's sort of serious and I know I haven't posted in a few months, but I'm working on a few more fics before I post them all at once. Apparently the masterlist isn't broken and my phone just makes it appear to be broken. So until it actually IS broken, I'll keep it as it is.

If you're interested, continue. Otherwise, this is just an update post!

We're working on a future AU, sci-fi type universe! It's basically an alternate universe of the future where the world has finally reached a point of improvement. It thrives, keeping a balance technology and nature despite society's flaws. All until robots went haywire, gaining sentience and becoming fueled with hatred against all living beings— especially humans— which caused an apocalypse now called The "Robopocalypse".

The main focus of the story is on a group of friends, who are initially separated across countries and cities, now trying to unite while trying to survive evil machines. Each member has their own unique book AKA a journal, showing their unique journies and perspectives of the apocalypse.

As of now, everything is a WIP (work in progress), and we haven't really decided on an ending to our books. It's mostly "Slice of Life".

We haven't made official character cards yet, but we do have our character drawings! One is currently being redesigned because the owner is a perfectionist. The other is still being designed and the design is not complete. Keep in mind, the designs may change over time!

We also have accounts on multiple platforms that we sometimes post updates on. Our group name is Skelt!

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@skelt03?_t=8m2LaTeln5m&_r=1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skeltauz?igsh=MTJiOWs2emlmbzZ2OA==

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeltSkittlesAUs/profile

Thank you for considering checking out our WIP story! It's currently a bit messy right now. But we're working on it. You can follow the account if you want updates— though we kind of sort of forget to do so.. haha.. (we never even updated once.)

Again. Thank you my little pellets, and I promise I will post my drafts soon! Until then, thank you thank you thank you so much! This "project" really means a lot to us. And it genuinely brought me and my friends happiness. No jokes here! Bye bye! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

[xysible]

Swap!Eccentrics' Origin cards!

[ s!War Era lore below cut <3 (keep in mind i haven't read Altered or the original stories, so this is all based off of Element & the few anime episodes)]

Ex Fine: > Tatsumi, Himeru, Mao, Rei

5 Eccentrics > Nagisa, Rinne, Mayoi, Leo, Sora

Bystanders (they're important i swear) > Tsumugi, Arashi

= = = = =

Trigger/Content Warnings: - Mentions of violence - Suicidal thoughts; mentioned/implied suicide attempt

= = = = =

In the beginning, the need of a reform in the school was both Himeru and Tatsumi's idea. Tatsumi was the one to actually attempt to do much about it though, roping Himeru, and later Mao and Rei into it. He ends up as leader of ex fine and the one to draft up the idea of the Eccentrics. Both Himeru and Mao were somewhat involved in that, like how c!Tsumugi was. The original 3 were supposed to be Nagisa, Rinne, and Leo.

Himeru was the one to suggest Sora.

Sora was... a bit of an outcast. He came into his first year and was pretty quickly alienated and was bullied by a lot of the students. He's found by Hinata later on. The two quickly become best friends and Hinata gets people to back off on bullying Sora. They form Ra*bits, one of the few units from the school at the time.

Sora was known to be good at what he does, just a little odd. Himeru chose him for that reason, although he wasn't aware of the bullying the kid had to deal with.

Mao suggests Mayoi, after accidentally finding the Secret Room.

Mayoi spent a lot of time in that room and Mao didn't even know he existed until then. He used the room as his little corner and it was full to the brim with stuff he made, particularly, outfits and dioramas. Mao was impressed, and he felt that Mayoi could probably be a good candidate.

= = =

The first Eccentrics meeting went... interesting. Rinne and Leo fought, Nagisa tried to mediate while trying to help the rather scared Sora and Mayoi. The two didn't stop bickering until they realized they made Sora cry and were like "oh shit."

They eventually warmed up to each other, though, becoming a bit of a family.

Most of them were unaware that they were about to be vilified by fine.

= = =

The first to go down was Sora. Well... technically Hinata.

As the student body got more hostile against the Eccentrics, they decided to target the person they were kind of already targeting before this whole thing. They saw the fact that pretty much no one was doing anything as confirmation that this was okay.

The Ra*bits duo were attacked in the hallways one day. Hinata was injured the most, Sora being pulled away by some of the other Eccentrics as they tried to stop the fighting. They succeeded, but too late. Hinata is later hospitalized and the Eccentrics learn he's in a coma.

Sora is distraught and basically pulls a Shu. He starts talking in 3rd person around here, as a way to distance "himself" from the person who was unable to save his best friend from the people who were after "him" originally.

= = =

Himeru and Rei are furious at Tatsumi for not stepping in before things go that bad. Himeru shouts at Tatsumi and breaking off their friendship. He blamed Tatsumi for being both the indirect cause of Hinata's hospitalization and the person encouraging the students to be this violent.

= = =

Mayoi is desperate to fix all of this and stop the harassment they're getting. He feels this whole thing is unjust. He pulls a Natsume, basically, as well as disappearing soon after Sora.

= = =

One of the people watching this whole thing unfold changes their opinions on the Eccentrics and Fine. Tsumugi, who had overheard Himeru and Tatsumi's argument, reaches out to the Eccentrics a little after the Incident, offering to help them.

Nagisa, figured out what Tatsumi was doing, tells Tsumugi it. At this point, the other Eccentrics are unaware, although Rinne and Leo are sort of suspicious about what Nagisa knows. Tsumugi ends up helping Sora and Mayoi as the chaos in the school gets worse around them.

= = =

The final battle against the Eccentrics and Fine happens, and Leo is chosen to be the one who fights against Fine. Nagisa tells him a week before all of this happens. Leo agrees to loose on purpose despite Rinne's protests. Mayoi shows up for the live, but Sora doesn't.

= = =

Going back to the beginning, Mao was originally intrigued when he learned about the three original Eccentrics. He brought up how he wasn't sure they would get along.

Nagisa was known to be a "god" of sorts and was highly respected. People knew about his connection to the Godfather and all.

Rinne was known as a clown, a person who was painted as "the eccentric outsider" when he first came to the school and have just been acting how people expect him to be.

Leo was known to be a genius composer and he was someone Mao admired a lot. Mao wasn't super sure about how this whole thing was going to go down, and he wasn't sure how he would feel about seeing Leo defeated. He didn't want to hurt him, but he felt like Leo could handle it, so he let it happen.

This leads up to the last live. Rei and Himeru are well ready to leave, but Mao is unsure. He's.. unaware he's being dismissed after that live. Leo gives Mao a little talk and enough confidence to get through that live.

Leo and his partner, Tsukasa, loose, and the War ends.

= = =

After the last live, Tatsumi is distraught. He pushed away Mao out of fear, feeling like what Himeru and Rei said were right and he doesn't feel deserving of a "hero" title some of the students have given him. He doesn't feel deserving of being student council leader. He doesn't feel deserving of being an idol.

He would've ended it all on that rooftop if Arashi hadn't been on there at the time and stopped him.

= = =

Arashi, another neutral bystander like Tsumugi was, had seen the whole thing unfold. She, originally, was against Fine after seeing what they let the student body do to Hinata. She later learns that, despite the rumors of the argument between Himeru and Tatsumi, it wasn't planned. They didn't want to do that, but Tatsumi was afraid that if he stopped them from doing whatever, the revolution wouldn't be successful.

She forgives Tatsumi for what he did and convinces him that he's worth something, still.

= = = = =

Other stuff:

Leo and Mao later find each other and start up Ryusetai

Arashi and Tatsumi are the original members of new Fine. Shu and Hajime join later on

Yuuta comes in the next year, posed at Hinata. Sora catches on almost instantly but they promised to make it work. Ra*bits is revived and gain two new members, Aira and Tori.

Because of Rei having been through the War, he's able to do more effective damage control when the Reimei revolt happens.

Himeru leaves to Reimei as well, later forming 2wink with Kaname

A bunch of the ages have been changed for this, uhhh I'm not really sure on many of them though lmao

if you wanna see more of this au, go check out @enswap :3

[devondespresso]

Wiggly-Worm Wednesday!! 🧠🪱

speeding through this before Wednesday ends (the deadline is both extremely malleable and entirely self-enforced and also time isn't real)

tagged by the lovely @hbyrde36 thank you!!

Today the worms are Connected they're connecting dots and doing a great job at it!

my non-fic worm is kinda branching off the first 1k i wrote for stwg's fic exchange, which then hopped skipped and jumped over into its own idea and now I'm enjoying my down time imagining the shenanigans of Robin sneaking Steve over post s4, like living in her bedroom hiding in the closet shenanigans cause his parents aren't back and the hospital had to discharge him to help other patients and she can't just leave him home alone that's a recipe for disaster so really she basically had no choice but to sneak him in through her ground-floor window with a duffel bag under her bed and steal a couple of her dads button down shirts because Steve's a dingus and didn't bring any even though any pullover is a pain in the back-and-tricep-roadrash right now.

so of course robins parents find out because stashing away a whole ass adult man in a bedroom for more than a day or so is actually pretty difficult even when he's not gravely injured. in my head they're pretty understanding after they get to cool down a bit, its not like steve was never around before and he'd always been polite, plus even if they still did think stobin were secretly dating, they're clearly not doing anything and the only reason Robin didn't just ask was because she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

And then on the actual wips front i had the brilliant why-didnt-i-think-of-this-sooner idea to pick a wip to work on based on what i was brainworming just for fun, which led me to my actual stobin wip and within like 20 minutes i had a couple epiphanies about the connective themes im exploring like realizing what i was putting together without realizing. (cut because oh god this got long fast)

Its ended up being a lot about gender, the imaginary wall between girls and guys in a friendship sense that feels solid just because you haven't had the proof that its not really there yet, the heteronormativity and amatonormativity driving a wedge between possible friendships. in this fic, robins really apprehensive about forming any kind of connection with steve because she's had the experience of guys only being interested in dating that she has a lot of mistrust around and m/f friendships that start forming (and ofc it ends with post starcourt platonic with a capital P soulmateisms 💕). i also have this little struggle where like if i can name multiple important theme-y words i fear ive got too many going on, so i was afraid this whole loneliness thing I've got for robin was going to conflict with the gender thing but i think ive got it sorted, they're different levels and their connected ideas, robins escape from loneliness means she has to break through her internal gender wall and let it be broken, plus the loneliness is going to be more explicit in the text because robins like fully aware of it while the gender stuff is probably going to stay mostly subtext and be much broader, popping up in steves pov area too and really all around them.

also had no clue how relevant it would be but steve and robin are like perfectly balanced blurred gender lines like steve is a masculine dude comfortable in his masculinity that also has a healthy relationship with his feminine trait, the hair stuff the babysitter/mom friend thing, he's not ashamed of any of it (and actually i had a longer post on Steve's gender balance somewhere in my drafts but we don't have time rn) and then robins like practically the same in her expression of femininity, she's as far as we see comfortably a girl, wears makeup, loved that movie about doomed love, she's got her feminine traits but also likes dabbling in masculine traits, she dresses more masc (tho its still a solid middle ground, comfort is a big focus), she likes ufos and creepy stuff and jokes about spider babies in hair. idk it just felt like they're a matching set as far as gender goes, if they did combine into one being they'd be bigender 100%

anyway uhhh this got long thank you for sticking around fyjdtjdgjdyj

tagging (no pressure and no deadline, im sorry Wednesday is already basically over dyjxjydgj): @momotonescreaming @stellarspecter @dreamwatch @pearynice @withacapitalp

@queenie-ofthe-void @carolperkinsexgirlfriend @writing-kiki @eriquin @eyesofshinigami

(Vague Rules just in case this makes no sense xtjsdjtdyj: it's technically just Wiggly Wednesday and its where you just post your brainworms/fun ideas of the past week/day/whatever. its super loose, i like talking about brainworms for things ill never write and things im currently writing but you can do whatever. no set number of ppl to tag, just have fun!)

@puppy-steve @hairstevington @hotluncheddie @gleek4twd @klausinamarink

@soaringornithopter

[aihoshiino]

I think that Viewpoint B and 45510 say something about Ai herself, both stories dive deep into her character. can you elaborate on it

The side stories are really interesting to me because like — IDK how intentional this was on Akasaka's part but they feel like a really deliberate study in contrast. They both have the same basic setup of a B-Komachi member looking back on her time on the group and her relationship with Ai from the perspective of them as grown adults over a decade out from Ai's death. The most immediate contrast is tonewise— Viewpoint B is a quietly sad and melancholic piece sort of tinged with nostalgia, especially with how Rie Takahashi chooses to perform Kyun in the audio drama adaptation of it. By contrast, 45510 is sooooo angry and bitter and Nino is so hostile and angry even years later when she really should have started moving on with her life. Not that there's a timeframe or schedule for grief, obviously, but to be this actively resentful and contemptuous of a person who has been dead for fifteen years... bitch will you PLEASE get your gay ass to therapy already!!!

When it comes to Ai, though, what strikes me is the consistency. Just like how both stories are about B-Komachi members reminiscing, Ai spends both stories reaching out and trying to connect with them and we get a whole lot of juicy thematic stuff as a result.

In 45510, Nino isn't connecting with the 'real' Ai— her equivalent of Ai & Kyun's talk is her passively taking in one of Ai's old videos, feeding on the "Ai of B-Komachi" she's still obsessed with. Even in this one-sided, sanitized form though we see over and over during the stream that Ai is doing everything she can to try and connect; she gives stumblingly earnest answers to the questions she picks out from the chat and even outright says that even though it scares her, she wants people to understand her and see even the parts of herself she hates. The purity of this wish is so strong that even Nino, who hates Ai so much that she accuses her of lying about things that Nino knows for a fact are fucking true begrudgingly admits those are Ai's true feelings and that she had finally listened to them for the first time in her life.

That's why the ending is such a gut punch. This tentative peek into the cracks in Ai's armor is enough for Nino to go looking for more of her only to react with such shock and disgust when she is faced with this full image of the real Ai reaching out to her via the blog that all she can think to do is irrevocably destroy it. It's just as Nino herself says— she's a woman more devoted to "the idol, Ai" than anyone else. That's why she can't allow Hoshino Ai to exist.

Viewpoint B contrasts this at almost every step of the way. Not only is Kyun's moment of connection a two-way street but it's with Ai herself, in person. Once again, we see Ai going out of her way to reach out and try to connect and for a brief, shining moment, someone actually reaches back. It's just for one evening but she and Kyun actually connect on a real human level; Kyun not only gets a peek at the real Ai's pain and human vulnerabilities but she accepts her, sympathizes with her and even seems to like her, poking at and teasing her to get more of those honest reactions out of Ai.

I literally just realized now as I was typing, but Kyun coming across Ai's "Lying Me" lyrics is a direct parallel to Nino finding Ai's blog draft. Both of them stumble across Ai pouring out her vulnerability into words but while Nino has to destroy it... Kyun accepts and uplifts it. In a lot of ways, Kyun is one of the people Ai has been looking for her whole life: a person who sees the real her and accepts it, regardless of how ugly and tarnished it is. It doesn't surprise me at all, then, that Ai went on to consider Kyun her closest and dearest friend in B-Komachi even years after that one fleeting conversation.

Both sidestories highlight something really important about Ai that I think is kind of slept on by a lot of surface level reads of her— I see a lot of people (as I've previously discussed) centering lies and lying when discussing her to such an extent that they treat it as though deception is in of itself her end goal while completely failing to think about what her motivations actually are.

What both 45510 and Viewpoint B really emphasize is that lying is, for Ai, just a means to an end, a survival tactic that was forced onto her that she doesn't know how to unlearn. Ai lies because she has lead a life that has caused her to believe she has to, because the 'real her' is so ugly and unacceptable that her only choice is to cover it up with pretty lies.

The real driving core of Ai's character is loneliness, desperation and hope. Over and over and over we see Ai trying to reach out to people, desperately trying to connect to them even in the face of repeated and absolute rejection. In 45510, she is heavily implied to have written the truth about Aqua and Ruby in the blog post that Nino deletes, all but putting her still-beating heart into the hands of girls she knows hate her but still choosing to take the chance on trusting them if her exposing her vulnerability will convince them of her sincerity.

Ai never loses hope. No matter how cruel the world is to her or how cruel each individual person is to her, Ai does everything she can to love and accept them, to make them feel supported, recognized and cared for even if it's only for a moment. In its own way, isn't that "love"?