#(Though I do think he's kind of inevitable at this point if I'm willing to let myself get my hopes up)

[illdothehotvoice]

I cannot wait for more Hisui characters to end up on Pasio and also for Masters EX to just completely avoid the Ingo problem by being like "Oh ha ha this guy from Hisui looks just like you and you share a name he must be your ancestor and you're named after him ha ha!" (probably) dshgjkfnsgfdh

[ttrpg-smash-pass-vs]

Inevitable been thinking about how that one anon viewed Laios as a monsterfucker, and I think it made me realize the source of that confusion:

I think many monsterfuckers, and also many (dare I say most) monster devourers like Laios, both derive their desire from the same source: a latent wish for apoteratosis, the wish to become a monster.

Linguistic side note: apotheosis, becoming a god, breaks down to apo- (towards the end point), theo (god), -osis (turn noun into verb), so I swapped in the root for monster, hence apo- terato -osis. Side note over.

Monster devourers are a rather rare archetype in (mainstream) fiction, but they do exist. Those who seek to mimic or emulate the monster's power, those who find them endlessly fascinating and study them well past the point of obsession, those who wish to show their dominance over the monster by proving that they can kill and eat it... and I think Laios is the first I've seen who takes the title quite so literally, where his obsession goes straight to monsters-as-food.

Monsterfuckers, meanwhile wish to become close to the monster in a non destructive way (or at least a typically less destructive one, usually the only casualties are furniture and few bandages are needed, but I'll acknowledge that exceptions definitely exist). They wish to bond with it, to connect to it through lust or intimacy, to be able to stand at its side. They wish, on some level, to join it. Side note, I'm not saying this is true of all teratophiles, some are just kinky and driven by the thought of positive physical pleasure, or who find the personality of a given monster appealing, but I do think the apoteratotic desire is an underlying driver for many, I'd guess well more than half, it's just a subtle enough thing that I don't think most are consciously aware of it.

There's also a third point to the secret apoteratosis triangle that might surprise you: the monster slayer. Sure many, even most, slayers are driven by something like disgust or xenophobia or even rationality, but a significant minority land in the "if you can't join 'em, beat 'em" a.k.a. "I can't be you, so I'll destroy you" camp.

And these three reactions are, I notice, the three most common reactions that people have to one thing: the unattainable desire. The sentence begins "I cannot have it..." and these three camps end it different ways.

The teratophages say "so I shall dominate it." They seek what power they can grasp so they can have some modicum of control, so they can try to "have" it anyway. The kaiju corpse scavengers in Pacific Rim including refined and suave mob boss types just smacks of this attitude.

The teratophiles say "so I'll get as close as I can." There's a werewolf romance book where they're considering trying to turn the girlfriend, though they have no idea if she'll survive it (boyfriend was turned by accident then abandoned, so he's clueless, and they haven't found any others to teach them), and she says that she's fine remaining human, because she shares the power through him. "I have it, because you have it." The façade eventually breaks and in a vulnerable moment she confesses that she'd be willing to risk even a likely death to try to be turned. When they get in contact with an elder who can turn her safely she doesn't even wait a week.

The teratophobes write that whole sentence as "if I can't have it, then no one can." I'm sure everyone has seen enough examples of this behavior to understand that it's just a kind of love turned corrupt.

I'm not the first to notice the underlying apoteratotic urge: the aforementioned werewolf story, indeed many werewolf and vampire stories romanticize the transformation of a human into a monster. Back to Dungeon Meshi, author Ryōko Kui is fully aware of it with how Laios's underlying desire is eventually brought out of the subtext and explicitly named as his dysphoria with humanity, and his wishing that he could be a monster. For Laios that desire skipped right past the socially unacceptable monsterfucking, explicitly a form of bestiality in that world, to the socially acceptable devouring, though tempered by his respect and admiration of monsters into a desire for symbiosis with them. He cannot become one in truth (or so he thought when younger) but he could become part of their food web. It's as close as he thought he could get. Of course, that's the Watsonian explanation; the Doylist explanation is that Ryōko Kui wanted to subvert expectations, and also wanted to explore this angle of it.

So, all taken together, I think people read Laios as monsterfucker coded simply because teratophiles, teratophages, and teratophobes all share the same root motivation: apoteratosis. Thus, all three branches are coded very similarly.

It's similar to something I've seen in Batman fandom: some fans project romantic love between various members of the Batfamily, which is both wildly against canon and thoroughly hated by some other branches of fandom. But it is understandable, since familial love and romantic love both come from the same root, love of another. If someone doesn't recognize the simultaneous similarities and distinctions, it's all to easy to conflate them. If you don't actually understand the distinction, then the signs of affection between siblings might look the same as the signs of affection between lovers. Likewise, if you don't understand the distinction, the urge of the monster devourers (or ecologists) might look the same as the urge of the monster fucker.

I've sat on this for near a month, partially because of my repeated absences, partially because I wanted to honor it with an equally in-depth response. But 24 days later I've still got nothing, while I can't speak for that particular person I think in general you hit the nail right on the head for the base roots. I got no notes. Even with Laios...like all I can add is how supplemental materials actually confirm he did want to be a monster researcher but found books too dry, the only one who seemed to really *get* monsters was shunned. and how wild he goes when talking with an actual werewolf, "The existence I thought unobtainable is now right in front of me".

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Something has been bugging me since the end of the Playful land event: How does the world not notice that these people are never seen again after going to this park. Even if its stated that only the positive magicam posts are the only things that leave the park, surely those guest's families/friends/employers/neighbors that didn't attend the park wouldn't eventually notice their absence. Moreover, how does no one still on land notice that the moving park leaves whilst everyone is still on it, and it never comes back to drop them off.

Makes me wonder if Twst has some sort of United Nations that would be alerted of this and set a worldwide lock down, so when the park needs to connect to a mainland again the country's military can apprehended them.

One of the biiig question marks of both Glorious Masquerade and Stage in Playful Land are all of the potential repercussions of Rollo/Fellow's schemes coming into fruition. The stakes of these two events are notably much higher than your typical TWST event, and that opens their stories up to further scrutiny. I'll talk about GloMasq first, then Playful Land, since I feel the former is also relevant to the points the asker mentioned.

This is going to be kind of a long post, so I'll slap everything below a cut! ^^

I don't know how frequently this is brought up, but I've heard some say it's unrealistic how Rollo was able to find the seeds for a supposedly wiped out plant and cultivate a ton in secret for his master plan. Now, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief in this instance because:

Spite can make a person do insane things (and what is Rollo is not spiteful as heck)

Rollo has lore which paints him as a diligent person who has a talent for gardening, so it feels in line for his character; he also seems to have an interest in history and is extremely neurotic so I could buy that he obsessively researched until he came across records or some trail to the flowers

The Bell of Salvation's ringing twice in a row is what triggers the flowers to bloom, and this has not happened prior to GloMasq because Rollo is the one who is consistently tending to the bell + the bell normally has a preset schedule; anyone that passes by the flowers would do so when they are inactive, and they are such an old phenomenon to begin with that no one in modern day would really recognize it or the danger the flowers pose

The narrative of GloMasq never calls attention to HOW Rollo was able to get the seeds, so it's not something that comes to mind unless you as the fan speculate about it; this doesn't come across as a plot hole, but it would be one if the narrative had pointed it out because then it would practically be obligated to fill the details in

The other major logical fallacy of GloMasq is that Rollo's machinations would have inevitably led to chaos once the flowers reached the rest of Twisted Wonderland, as some sections of society are reliant on magic. Now, I disagree with the notion that mages could band together and fight back against the flowers; we've seen from how the NRC students handle it that this would be a pretty useless effort since only the super powerful (which are few and far between) would be able to muster up enough magic to overpower the flowers. The majority of people are non-mages though, so the argument could be made that these people could help the mages by weeding or something similar. The question is, could this truly outpace the growth and attack of the flowers, especially when the average mage has far lower magical reserves than the average NRC student??? Remember how long it took the NRC kids (who are mostly healthy, youthful, and strong) to weed just the flowers in the waterways? My money's on the crimson flowers just overrunning the entire world long before they can be plucked out.

I actually think most societies would still be intact and able to operate without magic, seeing as 90% of the human population (which is implied to be the predominant race) are non-mages. Only very select industries and professions require magic to operate, and these are overrepresented to us (the players) since we are seeing the perspectives of mainly students who attend an elite magic school. These magical sectors, as well as societies which run primarily on everyday magic use (like Briar Valley) are the ones that would be the most in danger. This most likely explains why Malleus in particular was so panicked about Rollo's plans: if fully realized, his people would be in peril. This is not outright stated, but can be inferred. The main story also retroactively affirms Malleus's fears of being powerless. He was always told by his grandmother that the Draconias have great power so they can defend their people's smiles. What happens if that magic is stripped away? Then he is no longer able to protect his people nor his loved ones. In this way, GloMasq works well as both a standalone event as well as supplements TWST' grander story. It does not challenge what we already know but does support it.

Altogether, most details in GloMasq make sense and the event doesn't go out of its way to create more questions than answers. This... isn't the case for Playful Land. In fact, I would say that Playful Land does the opposite (in trying to explain plot holes, it creates a LOT more questions) and tries to hand wave everything away with one thing: money.

Firstly, Playful Land is kidnapping and trafficking innocent people (even if the park is said to be a more recent phenomena). Would their friends and family not notice they went missing and report this to the local authorities? My guess is yes, it's just not elaborated on in the event itself since the perspective through which the story is told is limited (Yuu doesn't know this world that well + the NRC kids, who are the people Yuu gets a lot of the lore from, are mostly privileged and don't need to worry about crimes of this magnitude). I believe the "people go missing, why aren't the police doing anything about it" can maybe allude to real world crimes that occur but aren't reported or resolved, which is very scary to think about. I don't know if this was the intention of the devs, but the comparison is certainly there and can be made. Or maybe it’s just that law enforcement hasn’t caught up yet?

It’s also odd to me that so many people were able to be taken by this huge, very showy moving park. I think that Fellow lures people out under the cover of night (which was the case with the NRC students, I will assume this is the case for the other victims too), but???? Even so, there are night owls and cities that don’t sleep. You mean to imply there were zero witnesses whatsoever??? Even though Playful Land is so big and bright, especially at night… Maybe this part plays into the idea that crimes may be reported but aren’t necessarily resolved…? That’s the only way I can rationalize it in my head.

Where the bulk of the issues start to come in is in alllllll the surrounding details. For example, a lot of the NRC students Fellow is kidnapping are connected to wealthy and influential families. How the heck are Fellow and his benefactors going to keep Vil’s fans, the Kingscholars, the Shrouds, the Asims, the hypothetical Leech mob family, and maybe even Maleficia herself and Malleus, from coming after their asses???? AND FELLOW SPECIFICALLY FUCKED UP BY ENCOURAGING THEM TO “INVITE THEIR FRIENDS” FROM SCHOOL… because guess who will be spilling the beans to the headmaster about students going missing the day after inviting everyone to go to this supposedly “free” amusement park?? All the students Fellow told them to blab to just so he could catch more of them 😭 Then from there it would definitely escalate and governments might get involved since Leona is a prince and Kalim has royal relatives. I could see Playful Land having to go on the run (as in, have supplies delivered to them rather then docking for them, knowing that police or military would be there to arrest them at ports). But they can’t do that forever, especially since not being able to dock effectively prevents them from picking up new prey.

With the combined powers of the NRC victims’ families, they would surely be able to challenge the people behind Playful Land, no?? Unless you mean to tell me these mysterious people somehow have more power than literal royalty AND the Asims combined??? And we’ve never heard of them until just now??? Okay, you’re starting to lose me here because this is adding on top of the lore we already have but in a way that comes off as difficult to believe since the amount of wealth and power some of the NRC kids have is already ridiculous.

Playful Land is also supposedly constructed by very powerful mages which makes me wonder why they got together to create such a thing???? Did they literally all get bribed with enough money to agree to this project? Were they deceived about the true nature of it?? Are the other 4 of the top 5 strongest mages involved in any way??? How was this not publicized that it was a project that very strong mages were working on given how few mages there actually are and how much Playful Land is talked about in online rumors??

Speaking of online rumors, that’s another thing. How are the people behind Playful Land able to monitor any and all talk about their park to this degree?? This is the internet we’re talking about here, surely stuff will fall through the cracks or come to light eventually. Someone would leak insider info, someone would say something.

The easy explanation given for everything is that there are very rich and very powerful people running these operations. They would be able to silence people who speak out against them or bribe the corrupt into complying or looking the other way. Maybe that’s just a sad truth I don’t want to acknowledge (because this stuff for sure happens irl 😞) but that all sounds WAY too convenient for fiction (where the devs have total control over the circumstances) especially when we’re given so little lore for who these benefactors actually are.

There’s still way too many questions and even turning on suspension of disbelief couldn’t stop those questions from arising in my head. At best, I think we could give the devs the benefit of the doubt and say this was intentional to keep up the idea of a “shadowy” underbelly to Twisted Wonderland society. Even so, that doesn’t account for every little thing and the event’s attempts to explain it all only makes more things to explain.

I tried to explain my perspective as best I can here! However, I admit that there may be bias in my judgment because I’ve made it no secret that GloMasq is my favorite TWST story event. Please let me know if you have any other issues with GloMasq’s narrative or if you have explanations for the issues I pointed out for Playful Land; I would love to hear your takes too ^^

[hecatesbroom]

One of the things that really gets me about Hardy and Miller's relationship in Broadchurch is how much the respect they have for each other shows in how they physically interact. Even when they're not particularly pleased with each other/the situation.

I mean, I think the fact that they don't sleep together even though there was plenty of incentive for the showwriters to add that in (the drama!!) says something already, but that's not what I'm talking about.

It's the little things. It's the fact that they barely touch at all even though Ellie seems to be pretty comfortable with physical contact -- whether it's meant to be affectionate or comforting or both. But Hardy isn't, and because Ellie's a pretty intuitive person she never attempts to touch him the way she would others.

And we see Hardy, in his turn, go out of his way to attempt to physically comfort her when he sees she needs support. The careful hand he puts on her shoulder when she finds out about Joe and the way he lingers a bit after that to see if she needs a shoulder to lean on.

Or the time he asks her if she wants a hug after the trial, because he knows she's the type of person to want a hug while going through something like that, but she declines because she knows he's not the type of person to go around offering hugs. That's the scene that really shows how much they've come to understand each other, I think: Hardy is willing to step outside his own comfort zone if he thinks it'll make her feel better -- he's willing to adapt for her because at this point they respect each other enough that things like this don't feel like an obstacle he can't overcome -- and she's unwilling to accept his offer, because it's not an olive branch or him warming up, but rather than that he's offering up a piece of his own comfort to make her feel better. And Ellie, who is generally too nice to allow people to do that, respects him too much to let him do so. Besides, I'm sure she'd just feel weird about it at this point.

Then at the end of season 2, when Hardy leaves and Ellie is there to say goodbye, it seems almost inevitable that they loop back to episode 1 and do hug this time. But instead Ellie extends a hand, and Hardy is almost surprised she doesn't hug him, maybe he's even a little disappointed (because that's what people do in these situations, right? Hug to say goodbye?). And in a sense we get an exact replay of the first episode, only now Ellie is offering Alec what she thinks he needs, whereas first he offered her what he thought she needed.

And maybe they were both a bit wrong, but only because they've come to respect each other's boundaries enough to make that careful miscalculation. And maybe they wouldn't have been wrong, maybe Ellie did want that hug and Alec did prefer the handshake, but only because the other was kind enough to offer exactly that to them, did they want the alternative -- to show their gratitude by shaping the situation to another's comfort, instead.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Wow, my Baldur's Gate 3 post blew up somewhat... nice. Well, time for more headcanons, of the unapologetically horny variety. (Yes, yes, I know everyone and their mother has done this already, well here's mine. Nyeh.)

Including: Astarion, The Emperor, Gale, Halsin, Jaheira, Karlach, Lae'zel, Raphael, Shadowheart, Wyll, and Zevlor

Tumblr is run by unfun prudes who would like my 30-year-old thoughts to remain Chaste and Pristine™ so filth under the cut until they ban me or whatever

Astarion

So the truly hilarious thing about Astarion is that he claims to be a pillow princess, but is almost always a dom. Like, I find it very funny that he enjoys the Aesthetics™ of being a spoiled brat, too delicate and pampered to lift a finger, but in reality, he's a bit of a work horse who finds having nothing to do dull as rocks.

Not to say that he doesn't enjoy receiving, I fully believe he does, but I think it's mostly relaxing at best and dissociative at worst. We'll assume though he's with a trusted partner for now though, rather than deal with the Hang Ups. I think inevitably he'd eventually roll over and change positions and end up in charge. I think it's an undeniable itch for him, even when he's being treated very well. There's just something so enthralling and exciting about being in control and playing with someone. It gives him a satisfying challenge the way being a pillow princess doesn't.

I think sex is particularly about aesthetics for Astarion as well. Bondage, costume, the art and immersion of it would be appealing. Role play would naturally extend out of this, especially as a safe outlet for some of his more complicated feelings. Succeeding at multiple layers of social interaction and intimacy would be extremely rewarding for him, I think.

He's also a very giving lover. I'm not sure praise would quite do it for him, that's not exactly his build. The submission though... oh yes, that does wonders. And he's very keen to reward that submission with nice things, sweet things, unbearably sweet, more than you can take... that's the kind of torture he's into, whining, begging, pleading, from the too muchness of it all, from how good he's being to you... mmm, yes, that's the stuff. It's soothing to understand you can be in control and not hurt people, to know that the control is not corruptive, not a bad thing in itself. I think it'd do a lot for his confidence and self-image.

Also, very into feeding as a sexual thing. He is a hedonist after all, more pleasure is more pleasure.

(The) Emperor

Hey, haters to the left, please. We believe in free love here and that includes the tentacle-y kind.

Look, okay, the dude comes on... strong. Too strong, to be honest. A little overly possessive, overly needy, but there is a hot, sweet core in there. And with a little patience, time, and reassurance, that can be honed into a respectful balance. If you can be patient and take your time, you can help him understand that he doesn't need to be in your every thought or be constantly touching to still have a deep bond. Do gotta watch those tendencies though.

That said, tentacles are a gift! Strong, dexterous, perfect for holding, squeezing, manipulating, and of course, inserting. It's hard to imagine a more intuitive metaphor for desire than tentacles, constantly grasping as they are. And boy, the Emperor wants. Also potentially has some experience using these, probably has a fair idea of how to make this good for both of you, so a pretty good bonus there.

While the Emperor tends to think he knows best and never enters anything without a plan, I think he'd be willing to take instruction. Your pleasure would be a point of pride so if something could be going better, I think he'd listen. Communication reaffirms trust after all. It's no dishonor to be spoken to or even commanded.

Honestly not sure illithid experience pleasure outside of making you orgasm and just like voyeuring or skimming the pleasure off your brain, so it's probably all about you here. Which also means we're probably not looking at marathon sessions; it'll be just the right amount of attention to a big, satisfying orgasm and then warm, languid rest. But the trick is, you're not going to get any gentle, casual encounters. His focus is unparalleled so it's very hard to back off of 100. That's fun, but can be exhausting, especially if you like a bit of variety.

Gale

Sometimes it's hard to see what Mystra saw in Gale; other times it's blinding. He's the most self-congratulating, infuriating, annoying bastard you know and he's also, somehow, perfect. What the fuck. The basic problem with Gale is that he'll tell you, to your face, that he fucked a goddess and when and where and how and the worst thing of all is he's not lying; he's actually good.

Gale has the enviable qualities of simultaneously being very laid back and very enthusiastic. He's happy with whatever position you suggest and is just thrilled to be invited. Throws himself into whatever's on the table.

Not to say that he doesn't have ideas, god, but he never shuts up about his ideas. And they're all, frustratingly, really good ideas too! "Oh, well I thought since we're in the hot tub, a little ice in my fingertips might be electrifying." "Have you considered the effects of shifting local gravity so you could ride me longer?" "I've taken the liberty of enchanting your dildo so you can feel it when you peg me!" God, don't you just hate him for being right all the time?

And to make matters worse, the stupid prick is full of wondering adoration for you, always trying to give you the best time possible, the best time ever. And he cares So Much he even notices if The Most Sensations Ever isn't the right thing right now and adjusts. He's just as happy to sit and cuddle or read next to each other. Ugh, disgusting. It's like someone made him in the Best Lover Conceivable factory and blew the whole budget on just him! Like, why Mystra gotta ruin the dating scene like that?!

Trouble is, he's obsessively good at doing exactly what you want because he was groomed by a goddess so... 😬 Sometimes you have to remind him he's enough. Sometimes you have to let him know that he isn't as good as what he could do for others, that he was already good, just on his own. Sometimes you gotta take care of him because he won't remember and he won't realize. And he might pout and object, but he deserves a good time too. Not that he wasn't having a good time but... you know what I mean. Let him be the focus.

Gale's very into attention and a slow, sweet time. Work him up painstakingly, bring him to the edge of begging, tell him what a good boy he is. He'll be crying with pleasure. Don't let him rush, rushing is a cheap shortcut and it means he doesn't have to endure being adored just as much as he adores you. It's the only time he'll ever be shy, having to accept love. But this should also, of course, always be paired with letting him reciprocate. One-sided affection or interaction would be torture for the poor boy. He wants so badly to be good, but gotta temper that a bit with reminding him he already is.

Halsin

Oakfather giving Mystra a run for her mother for "ruining the dating scene" with this one. Only The Oakfather went "thicc whores only" and the world cried amen for we were blessed.

What can we say about this polyamorous icon that hasn't already been said? Well, perhaps counter to some above examples, Halsin blessedly doesn't have to be at 110% all the time. Having a soft time is just as good as a rough ride. Although... we all know you're getting more of the latter on average, right?

The nice thing about Halsin is you don't have to worry about him denying himself or doing things just because he thinks you want them; he's a master of balance. He absolutely has his own personal, selfish desires and he knows how to serve them in turn. There's something refreshingly organic about Halsin's attraction, he's into you for perceptible maybe even measurable reasons, you don't have to worry about what's going on in that beautiful head of his so much.

A lot of energy in this one though, gotta be aware of that appetite. But hey, if you're into Halsin, you're probably open to maybe a couple more partners, together or separately. Halsin is certainly down for all of those combos.

Very generous lover, not satisfied until you say so. Down for any length of time, any position, but he strikes me as a man who's not into a lot of frills. Sex is about the physical pleasure, those animalistic instincts, and the kinetic energy between people being used and blended to create something more, something almost beyond us. A lot of artifice and dressing up wouldn't make a lot of sense to him and he's not likely to get much out of it. Don't think he'd yuck your yum, but unlikely to participate himself.

Might even prefer multiple partners at once and the longer the session the better. Short sessions are possible, but he's not going to enjoy it as much unless he can get really into the rhythm of it. Again, it's about balancing the energy, which often involves a bit of warm up and getting into the groove to truly satisfy. If one partner, high energy is best if possible. Come in with some goals in mind or you might get overwhelmed. Wouldn't be surprised if sometimes Halsin doesn't come at all due to his unreal stamina and thresholds.

Can't think of a better teacher to help you try something new though. Patient, kind, thoughtful with feedback from long experience. And he's incredibly appreciative of the unique skills every person has, the things only they bring are always valuable to him, something to be cherished and enjoyed. One of the few people who can be instructive, encouraging, and erotic all at the same time. It's a rare breed.

Jaheira

I'd let Mama Harper boss me around any day. And she is decidedly the boss, she's been giving orders since before I was born and that isn't about to change. Strong dom MILF energy here. And she definitely knows what she wants so those orders are going to be clear and consistent.

I don't think the strap is her preference, but I don't think she'd be opposed. But as another druid, I think she likes to go in bare handed, as it were. And, to be fair, she doesn't need help, I've seen those hands work a lash. She's strong and flexible, whatever you ask for she can give. She seems to have less in the raw energy department than Halsin, but I'll chalk that up to not being chief. I think it would take awhile to wear her down though, can't take her for fast or easy. Just like Halsin, I bet she prefers longer sessions to shorter, but would probably be a bit more flexible on this.

I think her real specialty is probably ropes, any kind of bondage. And she seems keen to teach the uninitiated, to make it not scary and safe. Her argument being the restraint in and of itself heightens the pleasure, why not try it? Not a bad argument.

She also probably enjoys herself most getting a work out in. She can be gentle for you, but her own pleasure is found in conquering, mastering. A test of strength or wills would probably be called for here. Tbh, I can't imagine her being that interested until you can prove you're a match for her in some way. Not terribly interested in coddling.

Karlach

Oh, a goddess among mere mortals. Those tits, that ass! She could break me in half and I would thank her, crying tears of joy. Karlach deserves every happiness on earth. Karlach is maybe the most enthusiastic person here, and that's saying something. The feeling of being close to others, but specifically sex, is such an important love language to Karlach. She has high physical needs and so is very excited and very determined to make you have as good a time as she is having. Unfortunately, sometimes this has a spiraling effect that results in questions like "how many orgasms is too many orgasms?" She just gets carried away, poor thing. But, nonetheless, as addictive as a good time is, you'll probably run out of stamina before she does. Though I bet she'd still keep going past the point of discomfort for herself, just because she's so excited and in love and bursting with joy and energy. It's hard to stop when there's so much you want to say and do and experience. Especially after being restrained so long.

On that topic, bondage probably not a good fit here. Anything that prevents touch for her is not really going to be her thing.

On the flip side, there is no such thing as too much, too hard, too long. I cannot imagine someone more eager to gobble you up, to taste you everywhere, to squeeze you close and shudder and gasp until your sweat smells the same. Like... she is here for this, she is into it. And she'll intuitively go for whatever is going to be more tactile, more of your touch and your body on hers. But also more scent, more excitement. She's going to respond like lightning to any little squeak or shiver to get any reaction out of you. She's so hungry for it.

And she's had a lot of time to think of ideas so you won't run dry on creativity for a good long while. Also important to note, she's only going to be a fast draw in the early days when everything is so urgent. She will slow down in time, though I think she'll end up running faster and hotter than most here. Her appetite is strong, but her stamina is actually on the low side. So more orgasms, but less space between them. Over stimulation is going to be huge here.

Not sure she has the patience for role play or anything fancy. This is not to say she isn't vocal she is... very vocal. Constantly. But that's quite affirming. And I think she'd be pretty into displays, perhaps even a bit of exhibitionism. After all, voyeurism/exhibitionism is all she had for awhile, so I suspect that would carry over into now. I think in particular she'd like to show you off, since she has a keen understanding of the eroticism of visuals. Not everyone's cup of tea of course, and she doesn't have to, but she just gets excited and proud. This makes her feel so good she can't help wanting to shout about it.

All of this said, she's also probably the most attentive in safety and aftercare. Halsin is a safety nut as well, but Karlach absolutely dotes. She wants to make sure she didn't hurt you or wear you out in any way and so will make extra, extra sure any little need is taken care of.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel's pussy could kill a man, in fact, it probably has. Not the most romantic of our choices, at least at first, but vigorous, satisfying, honestly intimidating. But, sex is very accessible with Lae'zel. Sex is part of communion for her, but in a different way than Halsin. It's exercise and contest and entertainment and group cohesion all in one. For these reasons, she's not as intimidating as you'd expect because just you saying yes to her pleases her. If she's invited you, that means she's already judged you worthy. She's not going to be upset when giving pointers because she has no hang ups about how sex is supposed to work. She doesn't expect you to read her mind and would probably be mad if you tried. Clear communication is part of this and you already earned the trust for it.

And on the flip side, she will not be distressed by you stating your desires because she's also not trying to read your mind. She wants you to trust her enough to say what you want. Honestly, she's probably a good starting place for virgins, her openness would be soothing. She might even have the patience to instruct, though she's not a terribly patient woman in general.

Also, not to bury it, Lae'zel just likes sex, the sweat, the scents, the weird, sticky feelings of it, the shivering glow through the body. Sex is fun for her and that's obvious in her vocalizations, both articulated words and not. And she knows that the more times you have sex with the same partner, the easier it gets, the more enjoyable it is. I think she'd like watching that progress, like a good team coming together. It's a sign of trust and affection. And in time, if she comes to trust you a lot, the sex becomes even more intimate and vulnerable, as you start to trust each other experimenting, going by instinct rather than plan. Those little shifts would be thrilling for her as she learns to improvise and accept new ideas. Surprising her would be delightful because she always thinks she has the upper hand. How fun to show her that's not always the case.

Lae'zel is a dom more out of necessity than desire, I think. She's probably a switch, happy with whatever suits; she just ends up doming a lot because no one has earned her subbing/she doesn't trust enough yet. But taking turns would also be valuable team building for her, important everyone trains even the skills they're weak at. Together, we become better at sex and at understanding each other. Weirdly, a very emotionally healthy outlook.

Raphael

I think I feel about Raphael as others feel about Enver Gortash. I want to project every flithy, nasty ass thought onto this wet rag of a man. So, without further ado: humiliation is the name of the game. I think if you fucked Haarlep in front of him, binding him so he couldn't do anything, only watch as Haarlep groans about how much better you are than Raphael, I think he'd come in his over-tailored pants. Cuckold the shit out of him. I think he needs to be stepped on, pegged, and drooling in the street. Never let him have his own way. I think he'd see stars getting pushed around like that. I think it would be great for him. Just use him like a cock sleeve, really dig in there. Absolutely deserved.

Like, imagine if this whole thing is his cringefail attempt to court Zariel. Imagine that level of humiliation. Works on this for thousands of years, only to burn his own house down over a few puny mortals stealing his shit. Oh my goddddd.

If nothing else, it would be Fucking Hilarious.

Shadowheart

So Shadowheart is probably into some hardcore stuff, right? She strikes me as someone with a bit of a home invasion kink. Definitely here for the blindfold/sensory deprivation kink. Restraints, but not just bondage, I'm thinking vinyl suits. Shadowheart's definitely into the unconventional. The more toys and artifice, the better.

It's probably next to impossible for Shadowheart to relax sexually. I don't think it's that she isn't into sex, but it's probably difficult for her to calm down and feel safe being vulnerable, get in touch with soft, gentle things that are just nice. Things that hurt a bit are more comfortable, more familiar, and even have less to do with her personally so she doesn't have to deal with her own feelings and preferences. But, with a bit of patience and a firm hand, you could coax Shadowheart into easing up, allowing herself to be taken care of, and to enjoy just a simple hand job or the too soft touch of lips. She's a bit of a project, but especially if you enjoy a bit of darkness and danger, very rewarding.

And Shadowheart would be big into reciprocation, you can't do something nice for her without her doing the same to you. And she'd take it as a point of pride that she's very good at making people beg for mercy. I think she'd become very giving over time, if you can be patient and teach her how to enjoy herself, in time she will give as much and more back to you.

And to be clear, not suggesting she doesn't also and always enjoy a bit of bondage and sensory deprivation, but I think she'd enjoy it more once she's come to terms with the fact this is not a service she's required to provide, an act which could determine her worth, but just occupations she enjoys for herself, outside of external validation. Teaching Shadowheart to masturbate could be huge. I do worry about her some times. A little self-love lessons might be necessary.

Edging also definitely something to try here. The slower the better. But, it's gotta have that pay off, or she'll start circling back to denial is the end in itself. Which... maybe sometimes, but there's also a lot to be enjoyed in the climax too!

Wyll

Hard to find a sweeter, gentler soul on the road. And a softer touch too. Needless to say, it's a lot of firsts with Wyll. But, he's a quick study and enjoys being tender and lovely. And I'll say it right now, even with this illustrious company, I don't think anyone gives better head than Wyll Ravenguard. Such a soft mouth and singularly focused and determined, he genuinely enjoys it too. It's such an act of service and this boy is all about acts of service. He wouldn't even get distracted by his own pleasure, just entirely focused on what he can give you. Halsin might have greater skill, but that heartfelt desire is unparalleled.

Wyll is made to be commanded, he will do whatever you say in bed. Even if you gave him control, I'm not sure he'd want it and definitely wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, not to say he's a pillow princess, those hips are doing their share of heavy lifting. Just to say that he wants instruction, he wants to follow your lead and let you tell him what to do. Praise would be huge here, tell him what a good boy he is, how well he's doing, he'd go mad.

To prolong the pleasure, a little orgasm denial may be useful, make him work for it. He loves a challenge and a test to prove his worthiness. And, in time, you could get experimental with him as you build his confidence. Maybe a little exhibitionism. Maybe a little bondage, a little role play. As long as the trust and love is there, Wyll's willing to try anything once.

Maybe the most fun thing about Wyll is Wyll actually can keep it down. Some of us just have to scream about it, but Wyll can actually get away with a fair mount because of his cool exterior. And Wyll is available for quickies, an advantage over some others here since he doesn't require a huge amount of energy set aside to have a good time. Wyll responds better to smaller but frequent affection and physical touch than big events spaced out. And Wyll is impulsively romantic, he likes to surprise with fun ideas and sudden invitations, which is a reward unto itself.

Zevlor

And a win for Team Sexualizing Old Men! I remember my roots. It is truly a tragedy that Larian won't let me sex up that old man. Look at him, you know it'd be good. So tender, so thorough. And Zevlor deserves something nice god damn it.

You know he knows what he's about. None of that shy, awkward fumbling you get with the new kids. Heck, he probably knows how to get you off standing against a wall, still in his armor! A true prince among men here. Don't think because no one's asked in awhile his skills have diminished.

Very passable oral skills, surprisingly long stamina, not just in oral too ;). Not the fastest ride you'll ever have and some positions are probably going to be out, battle-scarred knees and such, but for my money, absolutely delightful. Don't have to contend with more power than sense here.

And hey, if you want some Honorable Mentions like Aylin, Enver Gortash, or Dammon, let me know! I'm always down to give sexual headcanons no one wanted! 

[cebwrites]

could you write hc's for Zoro, Sanji and Ace (separate) having a dom boyfriend? Like, not just sexual sense, but a bf who likes to have his man on his lap, who spoils his s/o a lot and stuff. Ty !!

a/n: hi anon ofc!! this idea is super cute 💕 full disclosure however that i'm not super familiar with dom/sub dynamics and culture so if i mess something up please correct me!

having a dom boyfriend (Zoro, Sanji, Ace)

masc reader, trans zoro and ace nsfw under the cut word count: 1.4k

Zoro

Roronoa "Demon of the East Blue" Zoro, a man who's so unfamiliar with tenderness and warmth that on the first night he trusts his dom to have his way with him - he cries out of the eye that's long since scarred shut when he receives such unearned affection

Zoro would be the first to reject any notion of a higher power but his devotion to you is almost pious, loyal to the nth degree and willing to sacrifice anything for you as he does for his captain

So for someone to want to return those feelings with overt displays of endearment - it's almost and is overwhelming in a lot of ways, not that he didn't think you wouldn't be willing to go all in, he was just expecting more... subtlety

He'd be lying if he said that being so openly and unabashedly desired, loved, didn't feel good, though

Up until this point, Zoro's always been on top - figuratively and literally with how he rode his previous partners into the sunset - so letting you in with these current new arrangements was a different ordeal entirely

Handing the reigns over and learning to relax, without being the one in control, wasn't easy, but you made sure to repay him handsomely every chance you got with delicate, loving touches and words of praise whispered into his ears

He's surprisingly obedient, and oh so sweet, making the most beautiful sounds you've ever heard from another man as you slowly, carefully, open him up, kiss the scars underneath his pecs and trace the diagonal one across his torso with your tongue

He's desperate, silently begging for you to fully take him already, but Zoro promised not to whine so he bites his tongue like the well-trained beast he is

His reward? Hours of being able to let out as much of his voice as he wants until Zoro's throat is raw or the hotel manager bangs on the door for "the loud one" to quiet down, saccharine sips of sake and kisses in the long moments of aftercare between,

And inevitably being playfully side-eyed by Robin, Franky, and Brook when the two of you stumble back to the Sunny at the crack of dawn, one of your arms around Zoro's sleepy (and a little wobbly) figure no doubt intending to pass out again for another few hours, and the other holding bags of goodies for your mossy boyfriend - most of them alcoholic in content

Sanji

It's a constant fight for Sanji to get used to this, grappling with the need to spoil you and cater to your every whim- and his general feelings of wanting to be swallowed by the earth when you give him a look and say that you're supposed to be spoiling him instead

Blackleg Sanji, someone who's similarly been depraved of affection like his mossy green counterpart, unsurprisingly finds himself bursting at the seams to serve you, the light and love of his life, someone with the angelic kindness to smile upon and choose him of all people to be your sub

You don't question how eager he is to throw himself at your feet "in the presence of a man as dashingly handsome" as you, his words, but you do find it incredibly cute when he melts just a little bit at your quiet affection

It's meant to be purely physical, a pretty stranger who visited your house for the duration of the Strawhats' stay on this island (you'd approached him with your proposition and according to Nwami-swan they'd be stuck here for a few months because of this that and the other, so what the hell, right?)

He wasn't a complete noob, Sanji could figure out what to do and what went where generally, but he was still wholly new to this and near entirely reliant on your guidance - he'd heard of people doing things like this behind closed doors and discussed it with the ladies on Momoiro sure, but actually engaging in it? A completely different story

A glutton for punishment, Nami stares with intent at the rope burns on hairy arms when Sanji rolls his sleeves up to prepare dinner and Usopp pointedly avoids prolonged eye-contact with Sanji if he can help it, Zoro only fixes him with a big ol' Cheshire grin as he's kicked out of the kitchen for trying to smuggle more booze and pointing out certain marks under his collar

Sanji does, however, get a bit squirmy in the aftercare if your touch is a tad too soft, a bit too kind with your words, pad him down with a damp hand towel with just too much tenderness - as if a loving embrace was alien to him or like he felt it wasn't deserved

Sanji always hurried out on these nights, coming back to the ship in a tizz a little out of sorts and praying that no one was there to see him agonizing his commitment allergy over the railing, but on any other occasion he'd stay to make a light snack for the both of you to eat in comfortable silence

On the Strawhats' very last night docked at this island, Sanji made you a beautiful meal and spent the night bending, twisting to your every whim, breaking the news at dinner so you knew this would be your last chance - he was obedient and giving as ever, not once complaining and even encouraged the hand prints on his hips

At dawn he leaves you with breakfast in bed and robbed of a heart, knowing that he was the one (pirate) that got away

Ace

Spoiled and proud of it - Ace is a bratty sub who loves nothing more than to whittle down his lover's very last nerve, reaping the fruits of his hard work when he's bent over that man's desk and hollowed out for hours

He walks with a waddle the next morning but is no less proud of himself every damn time

He can and WILL drain 👏 your 👏 pockets 👏👏👏 - you're paying for breakfast, lunch, and dinner - and whatever cute little lace outfit you (he) think he'll look cute in later

Ace fancies himself a (promiscuous) little jackrabbit and he definitely lives up to that title, it takes a lot to wear him out and god he'll make you work for it, too

He's down to clown in most places that isn't outright in the public eye but he's been known to skirt boundaries with a little persuasion and the need to tease - his favorite by far is the underside of your desk while someone else is on the other side droning on about whatever

Ace lives to tease and he yearns for the punishment from riling you up all day, degradation and being mean isn't frowned upon (in some cases he's waiting for it) but don't go too far or you'll actually hurt his feelings - all that fire has to come from a heart, of course

He's loud and shamelessly proud, even if the place is risqué, even if the neighbors across the street have full view of the curtainless window he's enticed you to fuck him in front of, the neighbors can talk all the shit they want but it doesn't bother him none

He'll sing your praises to the high heavens through punishment or reward, apologies or howls of affection, Ace wants nothing more than for you to know how good you make him feel, mark up your back and have you leave hickeys on his neck in return so everyone knows he belongs to you and you alone

He blows up your pager with messages all day to come to the ship and plow his pussy already, hangs around your work place and shows little flame hearts at you outside the window despite the amount of times you've nagged that he's being a fire hazard, snuggles in your lap on your lunch break that always ends up going 5-10 minutes over the limit - you got an earful from your boss the one time it went over an hour, watching Ace sneakily leaving out the back door and blowing a kiss at you like the little rat (affectionate) he was

Long distance isn't ideal, but he really likes you so he makes it work; if it means he has to be a bratty sub to monopolize your time then so be it, he wants all your attention and he wants it now!

[nukaberries]

howdy! if this blog is still active, could you do new vegas companions react to courier six being a synth? idk how they'd find out, prolly either six telling them or a close call with a courser. it's up to you!

This puts anything I've ever requested on Tumblr to shame because this is such a cool idea?? I'm obsessed with crossing over the Fallout games - which is probably why MacCready's my favourite companion - so I find stuff like this so fun to write. I also just love requests like this because it gives me the chance to challenge myself, I feel like I write the Fallout 4 companions better (I definitely have more hours in 4 than any game), so I love getting the opportunity to write for New Vegas companions too!

//

Companions Reacting to the Courier Being a Synth (Includes: Arcade, Boone, Cass, Lily, Raul and Veronica)

Arcade Gannon When the courier reveals the truth to him, he's more embarrassed than anything that he didn't figure it out himself. He's never seen a robot look so unmistakably humanlike before, leaving him with a lot of questions for the Courier. After all, he's seen them eat, drink, sleep and bleed like any normal, breathing human would - can he even be sure this is the same courier that he first met in Freeside? For a while, Arcade will keep a wary eye on the courier, unsure what to believe, whether he can trust the courier, whether he's been able to trust them at all. Eventually, he comes back around, which is arguably worse for the courier, as they spend most of their time answering questions like "do you have an off switch?"

Craig Boone He doesn't think much of the strange man who'd just tried to ambush the courier, even in spite of the odd outfit that was surely far too warm for someone to be wearing in the middle of the desert. It's only when the courier appears shaken up and Boone finds some kind of component when looting the man that he thinks to question anything. The courier is dismissive at first and says that they simply just got caught off guard by the assailant, of course, Boone doesn't believe them but he doesn't see the point in pushing. When the courier inevitably tells him, it doesn't change much for him, he'll naturally be curious at to how the courier's existence is even possible, but as long as they're still willing to take the Legion down with him, he doesn't care what they are.

Cass Similarly to Boone, the revelation of the courier not being as human as they seem doesn't particularly bother her. She'll probably make a couple of jokes here and there, usually ones that the courier has heard a million times before. It doesn't make any difference to Cass though, sure, it's a little weird but she'd seen weirder just by minding her own business at the Mojave Outpost.

Lily Bowen She's fully aware that she's in no place to judge the courier for what they are and she makes that clear the moment that her companion reveals they're a synth. It doesn't necessarily change anything about the courier for her and if anything, she encourages them to talk about what they went through at the Institute, so long as they feel comfortable telling her. She'll remind them that she's still their grandma and she loves them no matter what.

Raul Tejada When you're around for long enough, you hear a lot, specifically whispers of robots posing as humans in the East, spying for their masters and replacing innocent people. Of course, none of that ever sounds like more than old myth to Raul. That is until a run in with what the courier later explains is a courser leaves Raul to deal with a revelation about his new friend. Admittedly, it's a lot for him to take in, especially after hearing so many bad things about synths for so long, but eventually, he figures nobody would want to make a synth replacement of him and if he's been able to trust the courier for this long, then surely he still can.

Veronica Santangelo Being a Brotherhood Scribe, Veronica knows quite a bit about the Institute already, but since hardly any of her fellow comrades have actually gone to the Commonwealth, her knowledge is limited. Still, it causes some uncertainty when the courier tells her the truth about their identity. She's only ever heard bad things about synths and this does seem like the definition of technology gone out of hand. It takes Veronica a while to warm up to the idea that her friend isn't going to bring her or anyone else any harm, but it'll take a bit longer that it would the others to earn back her trust.

[gaybananabread]

I might be forgetful or just obsessed, but I don't think anyone's asked for headcanons about our Spider Gang: Miles, Gwen, Pavitr, and Hobie. >w< Or just your favorites, of course. I admit I'm most curious about Gwen and Hobie.

-Panda/Black Feathers

🕸️Spider Gang Tkl Headcanons☆

~What's wrong with both? But yeah, I've yet to do headcanons with these goobers. I don't know this “consistency” people speak of, so expect none of it. I do wanna add some other spider peeps to these, but we'll keep it to the Gang for now. Expect some more food, probably within the next few weeks. Thank you for the request!~

🎧Miles🎨

General:

We can all agree that he's a massive dork about this, right?

He's a lee-leaning switch, though it's close.

Loves tickling both ways, but can admit neither.

Boy gets squirmy every time the word is even mentioned. You bet he practically dies when any scene comes on TV

Lee:

Lee moods for him are quite frequent.

His friends have a system for detecting them at this point. Checklist and everything if they feel like being goofs.

Nervous giggles, extra knee bounces, higher voice, showier clothes if he's bold, easy blushes and jumpiness. They've got him down to a T at this point (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

Super squirmy lee, you almost definitely need to pin him if you wanna live. Known for his donkey-kicks.

Worst spots are his armpits. He will screech if you even try to get him there. Not a spot for the weak-willed.

Melt spot is his neck. A few fluttering fingers, maybe gentle scritches under his chin, and you’ll have a giggly puddle of sleepy mirth.

Real easy to fluster. Say the t-word a few times, compliment his inevitable blush, maybe incorporate the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Immediate results!

He feels like he'd be super air-ticklish. Can not handle any wiggling fingers or sneaky teases.

Doesn't ask for what he wants, like, ever. Gotta use your detective skills around him (the checklist above is very helpful (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠))

Ler:

Such a shit, even though he can't handle a fraction of what he dishes out-

Absolutely webs people up to help himself (only if they're comfy with it ofc)

Very playful and teasing. You blush? Get ready for him to point it out at least seven times. Snort? Good luck.

“Your cheeks are all red, gigglebox. This fluster you that bad?”

“Aww, you snort? No, don't hide your face! I wanna hear it again!”

“What d’ya think happens when I go here? Yeah, right there. Only one way to find out~”

Once he gets a handle on his venom power, he learns that very small shocks can be quite effective in wrecking his lee.

So, Miles being Miles, abuses that knowledge at the most inopportune times.

Little jolts during training, walking through the halls, studying, you name it. By the end of the day, people are either ready to kill him or want him to just get it over with. He's happy either way.

Has high respect for boundaries. Before starting, he'll make sure the safeword is remembered and clarify what they're comfortable with.

Super nice aftercare. Cuddles, snacks and maybe listening to some music and napping on him while he sketches.

🥁Gwen🩰

General:

I’m gonna go with ler-leaning switch. Like Miles, it’s pretty close. These kids just love to laugh ¯\_(´꒳`)_/¯

A bit better in terms of confidence. If it’s a good day and the mood isn’t too severe, she can ask one of her close friends. Other than that, suffering until someone notices.

Lee:

When she gets lee moods, everyone is almost immediately alerted.

Either she has the courage to ask, or in the more likely event that she doesn’t, she’ll provoke everyone.

Snippy comments, crop tops, hair up, sarcasm for days, and THE SASSSS

If they don’t realize she’s in a lee mood, they’re gonna wreck her anyway for getting on their nerves.

A squirmer for sure, though not quite as bad as Miles. Careful of her legs, though. She was a dancer; that kind of strength combined with spider-power won’t feel very good to the jaw.

Worst spot is her navel. A few raspberries and she’ll be a cackling, snorty mess.

Melt spots are her back and ears. She loves light traces and scratches along her back, and a feather on the shells of her ears would be heavenly.

Adores cheer-up tickles. You’ll make her entire week if you gently trace her belly or squeeze her sides when she’s upset.

She’s got a really pitchy, bubbly laugh. You get her to belly laugh, and you’ll be rewarded with lovely snorts.

Ler:

VERY sassy and playful. Will tease the living hell out of you and giggle while she does it.

Anything she can tease you for, she will. Usually teasing-compliments, but she shakes it up.

“Such an adorable belly! It’s like it was made for me to poke and squeeze. Can’t deny its purpose, can I?

“It’s so easy to fluster you! I just need to say that one little word, and you can hardly breathe~”

“It tickles, does it? Sucks to be you. Now, onto those ribs…”

Gwen likes doing her nails with her friends, so those babies are always nice and tickly. The boys can never manage to keep theirs like that, no matter how hard they try.

She likes blowing raspberries if it’s someone she’s close to. Loves the silliness, and their reactions are just too cute.

Very good at giving cheer-up/comfort tickles. If someone’s upset, they go to Gwen for some special pick-me-ups.

Wondrous aftercare. Back rubs, praises and a movie night. She’ll even braid your hair if that’s something you’d enjoy.

✮Hobie🎸

General:

The switchest spider to walk the Earth, I dare you to fight me on this/j

So chill on both fronts. He just goes with the flow.

Has magic “can say the t-word whenever” powers, loves abusing them.

Absolute menace in tickle fights. He’ll either kick your ass, or fluster the hell out of you while you attempt to wreck him.

If anyone’s in a mood, lee or ler, Hobie’s their best bet.

Lee:

Okay, so…he definitely is open to being wrecked by his friends.

One of them has a killer ler mood? Hobie’s here to help. He’s gonna be all teasy about it, but it’s quickly replaced with giggles.

When he’s just straight-up in a lee mood, he can ask with next to no problems. Coincidentally, he “accidentally” flusters his ler more often than not.

If he just doesn’t feel like asking, he’ll put on a crop top, rest his arms behind his head, and wait for someone to get a ler mood or try something.

We can all agree that this smug bastard would try to fluster his ler, right?

Holding his arms up without being asked, telling them to keep going, how good they’re doing, “Ready when you are~”, teasing them for “staring,” the list goes on.

Worst spots are his feet, followed by his underarms and hips. He’s not always in the mood for footer tickles though, so the pits are your best shot.

Melt spots are his calves and palms. Mr. Guitar would adore some hand tickles, and the tall prick deserves some draw-backs.

Rumbly, base-sounding giggles if it isn’t that bad a spot. If it is, you’ll get loud, boisterous, scraggy laughter. Very fun to find and point out the differences to him, he’ll definitely appreciate it! ( ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )

Ler:

He has two sides, one very different from the other.

The first is gentle, comforting tickles. He won’t go too fast or vigorous, only upping the ante if you ask or seem ready.

“Those some cute giggles ya got there, mate. Glad you’re sharin’~”

“You’re adorable, ya know that? All blushes an’ squirms, but you ain’t said ‘stop’ once~”

The other is the one you should be terrified of.

Evil teases, immediate worst-spot tickles, keeps you laughing until you’re in tears (unless you tap out beforehand)

“Wha’s that? Oh, tickles, does it? Good, ya needed a laugh.”

“Man, you’re laughin’ pre’y hard. Blushin’, too. I didn’ know any better, I’d say yer enjoyin’ yourself~”

Either way, he listens to boundaries and stops whenever you ask/seem like you’re done. Boy is all about respect, in this sense anyway.

He definitely plays the lee-guitar game. Your ribs are now his strings. Might even get his pick out if he’s feeling really evil.

Changes up his methods for each lee (let’s stick with the gang’s regular moods here before I go on a tangent)

For Pav, he’s a smug asshole. Lots of fake-outs before he actually starts, continuously calls his reactions “fuckin’ adorable” to see him blush. No mercy until it’s needed.

With Miles, he’s a bit less evil. Mainly just teases him for being so ticklish and his blushes.

For Gwen, he’s rougher. She usually likes to forget her name, and he’s more than happy to help. Raspberries, teases, the whole nine. Whatever gets her cackling.

Amazing with aftercare. Will pull you into his lap for cuddles, and he gives incredible massages and back rubs. Praise for days if you need them, and even if you don’t, he’s happy to supply them.

🪷Pavitr☕

General:

Suuuuuch a sunshine boy I swearrrrrr ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

He gives lee-leaning switch. Loves getting his ass handed to him, but occasionally loves making his friends giggle and squeal.

Can admit that he likes both sides, though he can only say the t-word itself if he isn’t flustered.

Always up for helping one of his friends if they’re in a ler mood, and sometimes ready to wreck them for the greater good (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Lee:

Loves being tickled, especially if he’s in a really bad lee mood.

Most of the time, he’ll whine to either Hobie or Gayatri that he’s “feeling fuzzy” and they’ll get the message. If he isn’t that worked up, he’ll flat out ask.

Very squirmy little worm, though he doesn’t flail like some of the others. Has accidentally headbutted before though, so careful if you’re messing with his neck.

Decently easy to fluster, though it takes a while to wreck him. You’ve gotta know exactly what you’re doing to really get him good (just ask Hobie or Miles, they’re loving narcs)

Worst spot is his belly, specifically his navel. Raspberries are killer for him there. Him and Gwen share a death spot and both torment each other with that knowledge.

Melt spots are his forearms and under his chin. Adorable to trace a few inches up from his pits and watch him dissolve. You can’t tell me he wouldn’t love some gentle tickles under his chin, can you? (answer: no)

Bright, bubbly, almost boyish giggles. Things get a lot pitchier when you really wreck him, squeaks and squeals coming in no short supply.

Ler:

Surprisingly formidable ler when the mood strikes him.

Most don’t suspect it to be that bad and give him full reign. They’re quickly proven wrong.

He respects boundaries of course, doesn’t ever go overboard. Takes breaks to check in and let his lee breathe every few minutes.

Loves to tease with compliments and praises. This is where he abuses his powers.

“Aww, your laugh is so cute! Who knew you’d be so ticklish?”

“That blush is just adorable, friend. You really have to show it more often!”

“I know, it really tickles here, huh? You’re doing great!”

If he’s feeling like a goober, he’ll play “Tickle Monster” and blow little raspberries on your belly. Might even make little “nom” noises while he does it to be a menace.

Loves giving tickle hugs. He’ll sneak up behind someone, koala-hug them and start wiggling his fingers into their sides. (Being short actually helps him there)

If one of his friends is upset or stressed, he’ll talk it out with them before suggesting a tickly cheer-up. If they don’t legitimately object, he’ll sweetly tease them until they’re all giggly and happy again.

SUPER sweet with aftercare. Cuddles, snacks, praises, and just general conversation. If you want to, he’d even be open to a nap.

[aetheternity]

Synopsis: You're sick, thankfully the 6reeze boys are there to care for you.

CW: Just sweet fluff. Reader calls Wanderer, Kuni.

Aether

☆ Now now, just because you're sick doesn't mean you have to eat stuff you hate.

☆ He'll literally make you any food / drink you want. Unless you're throwing up. Then he'll stick to giving you water to flush your system out.

☆ He does any and everything you want no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Pillow needs fluffing? He's your guy. Extra blanket needed? He's got two pick the one you like better. You want a bath? He'll run it for you.

☆ He lets Paimon read one of the stories he wrote. Just to help you fall asleep easier.

☆ "And then our hero turns to his trusty, reliable, amazing companion and says-"

☆ "Paimon, stop padding out the story. The whole point of this was to relax Name, this isn't for entertainment purposes."

☆ "Paimon has to make the story more interesting or else even Paimon will fall asleep reading it!"

☆ You can't help but giggle at Aether's sullen expression.

☆ He makes sure to take your temperature every hour and yes it does feel a bit excessive but he wants to make sure you're actually making a recovery. Humor him would ya?

☆ "What's it say? What's it say? Is the cold breaking?" Paimon questions

☆ "Maybe we need more blankets and soup."

☆ "Doctor Paimon is on it!"

☆ Don't worry even if they argue quite a bit or the entire time. You're definitely going to make a speedy recovery with Doctor Aether and Doctor Paimon tending to you.

Heizou

☆ He was already off for the week as it was so now here he was at your door with a big smile and some treats for the two of you to share.

☆ He starts boiling a pot of water so you can soak in the steam almost immediately.

☆ "So, what do you think got you so under the weather?"

☆ "I have no idea.. honestly I just woke up yesterday sick as a dog."

☆ "Well, these kinds of things don't just magically happen even though it can feel like it. Trace your steps back to before the illness."

☆ Another one that isn't worried enough about getting sick himself. Though he's human so he's the one that should.

☆ You're already burrito wrapped in a huge thick blanket but somehow you're still shivering so he slides into place behind you wrapping you tightly in his arms until your body slowly relaxes.

☆ "You're not worried enough about catching my germs."

☆ "Well, I know if I happened to fall victim to a dreaded cold, you'd be my savior as a sort of debt for me being yours." He chuckles

☆ And of course when he inevitably does catch what you had he has the prettiest nurse to care to him. Or at least that's how he describes it.

Kazuha

☆ He's so oddly happy to take care of you while your sick. Like yeah he'd far prefer if you were in good health and spirits but he likes any scenario where he can tend to your physical, mental or emotional state.

☆ Lets you rest your head in his lap while he strokes the top of your head. You can apologize as much as you want for all of the snot and spit you accidentally drip onto his clothes during this time but he couldn't care less.

☆ "Your worry is valid, however if I'm going to be here with you until you recover I have plenty of time to wash my clothes.

☆ "Are you going to leave as soon as I get better?"

☆ His laugh is airy, "I have nowhere in particular that I need to be. If you're willing to have me I can stay for at least a few weeks."

☆ He reads every single haiku he's written to you to take your mind off the pain and when he runs out of those he starts telling you stories of his journey.

☆ "One day a young boy was stood along a stream, his head hung staring down at the water below. At long glance a troubled soul trying to discover some sort of mystery in the endless current of water. But at face value. A long rope and a boy long gone from this world."

☆ "How is that supposed to make me feel better?" You grumble clutching the pillow in your arms tightly

☆ "It's simply a distraction. For a moment your pain was disrupted by my story and it ceased to exist. While the story itself may or may not be true. Similarly when I began that story you believed I was telling it with the purest intent. That I was doing it to aid in your sleep. All is not as it seems, the story teaches."

☆ "I don't like that story."

☆ Even if his stories aren't the most sensitive he does still keep your space extremely clean and even tidies the rest of your house up as you sleep.

☆ You'll sometimes wake up alone but you always know Kazuha will be back if you call out to him. That's how he'd always been as it was.

Venti

☆ You're more than a little curious as to how he found out you'd fallen ill in the first place. He dodges the question.

☆ "Come now, aren't you just happy to have your favorite archon tending to you regardless?"

☆ "You could just tell me ya know. I'm not exactly in a judgmental mood."

☆ Stops you every single time you try to get up.

☆ "And just where is my patient going?" He places both hands on his hips.

☆ "I need my medicine, Venti."

☆ "That's what I'm here for. Your personal caretaker is at your service." He gestures for you to lay back down and refuses to leave until you're fully beneath the blankets.

☆ "Halt!"

☆ "Halt??" You nearly snort

☆ "Where are you going now?"

☆ "I have to pee, Venti!"

☆ His cheeks bloom a tiny pink, "Oh, ahem carry on then.." He chuckles

☆ He literally never leaves your house. Taking advantage of the fact that he's a God and can't fall ill as often as possible. Just crawling in beside you in your bed.

☆ "Even if you can't get sick, do you really want me sneezing and coughing in your face?"

☆ "Don't worry, I'm far away enough that if you wake up in a coughing frenzy it won't even touch me."

☆ He was in fact not far away enough.

☆ You find yourself getting more and more accustomed to rising and falling asleep to the sound of his voice. His songs so sweet, they end up helping you sleep deeper than you ever had before.

☆ "So, what kind of payment am I looking at? You know to thank my favorite archon for clearing his busy schedule just to tend to one of his mere disciples."

☆ "Aw don't put it like that. I would've done it for free. We are friends after all."

☆ "Did I hear would've?"

☆ "Well since you mentioned it there's only one thing I want. Let's get a drink together. You know when you're fully recovered."

☆ "Sure. It's a date."

Wanderer

☆ Everything he makes you is disgustingly bitter and he forces you to drink every single drop too. (We don't waste food here).

☆ "If you wanted a babysitter you should've called someone else. I'm just here to make sure you don't die."

☆ Surprisingly well meaning in everything he does. Gets you an extra blanket when you ask and even stays while you sleep. Clearing up your mess of tissues and washing all your dishes.

☆ He makes himself feel better after being so helpful all day though: "You look worse every time I come back over here." His grin shitty.

☆ "Funny, cause I've noticed you look better when I'm bleary eyed."

☆ You're not sure what you're expecting after that but his snarky huff as he leaves the room doesn't give you much confidence that he isn't planning to suffocate you with a pillow next time you doze off.

☆ "You know, you're gonna make someone a really cute house wife someday." You remark as he grabs your nth bowl of finished soup for the day.

☆ "Shut it." He grunts though before he can fully swivel around you see a dust of pink graze his cheeks.

☆ You wake up at one point to a cute plushie in your arms. The stiching so neat and the fabric of its hair and clothes so soft. As you turn it over more and more you start to notice the similarities between it and your dear caretaker.

☆"Why are you staring at him so hard?"

☆ You gasp, "Wait, he's yours?! You made a doll that looks like you??"

☆ "Don't act so shocked, I have things I care about like everyone else."

☆ "He's so cute!" You snuggle tiny Wanderer closer feeling infinitely better just being able to touch something so precious to someone you cared about so deeply. "But why give him to me?"

☆ "Because, when you get better and tell this story again. No one's ever going to believe you about the doll."

☆ You stare at him blankly, eyes growing wider. That dark smirk forming on his face as he stared back in pure amusement. "KUNI, YOU JERK!"

☆ "DON'T YOU DARE THROW HIM, HE'S NOT A TOY!"

Xiao

☆ He can't even begin to understand why you can't do anything for yourself.

☆ "Mortals can be so weak." He grunts when you explained your sickness.

☆ All you'd asked of him was if he could pick up your medication from Bubu Pharmacy on his way back from his daily patrol.

☆ He'd done it, easy but he still didn't leave immediately. For the next three days he'd leave you during his normal patrol hours then return at different times everyday.

☆ "How long do Mortals normally stay ill?" He questioned

☆ "Depends on the mortal, some can catch a cold and be bed ridden for a couple weeks. Age factors in too."

☆ He'd grown quiet after that. You're not completely sure he understands.

☆ Grossly overestimates how weak you are. Maybe you're into that tho.

☆ You're eating soup? He takes the spoon away and blows on the food then feeds it to you. You're trying to get up to go to the bathroom? He rushes over to open the door then trots back to grab your arm and keep you steady.

☆ The first time you went into a coughing fit he stared at you wide eyed, hair raised and on edge for several minutes before you'd willed him into coming close again.

☆ The first time he'd laid his head on the bedspread beside you you'd shooed him off. "I don't want you to catch any of my germs, Xiao Xiao."

☆ He shakes his head, "You need not project concern onto me. I can't contract an illness from you."

☆ Overall it feels almost too comforting having Xiao around like this. It was the most you'd seen of him in some time. Maybe you'd have to get sick more often.

[fairysluna]

because there isn’t enough soft!harwin, i’d like to request harwin trying to teach reader how to fight but they end up being silly and play fighting :)

i think i change the plot a little, but i really hope you like this anyway!!🤍

Your body fell to the ground, forming a cloud of dust in the air as you groaned. You looked upon your opponent and noticed the smug grin on his face, making you roll your eyes. He stretched his arm and offered you his hand for you to take, but your pride was big enough to not let him help you, so you just stood up on your own, shook the dust off your clothing and grabbed the hilt of your sword, getting ready to fight against him once again. This time, though, you hope you wouldn't humiliate yourself.

"I know you can do better than that," Harwin teasingly said, the charming smile never leaving his lips as he chuckled in the low watching your eyebrows furrowed and your lips pursuing with annoyance towards his playful words. You sighed, already feeling the exhaustion of the exercise you have been doing for two hours already. You were not ready to give up yet, but Harwin did not bend and was reluctant to give you a victory, even when it was a mere training session. "Your real opponents will never let themselves lose because you, my lady, threw a tantrum," he had told you, seconds before you lifted your sword and tried to smack it against him, failing miserably.

It hit right in the middle of his shield, and you used so much strength in your swing that it ended up being stuck in the wood. Harwin smirked as he pushed you gently, an action that caught you off guard and made you fall back to the dirt. You whined, softly, but before you could react any further, Harwin threw the shield with the sword, and lifted your body up without major effort, as if you were the lightest thing on Earth. You gasped out of impression, feeling his strong hands surrounding your tired and sweaty frame. Your fastened breathing smacking against his plump lips, as the proximity between your bodies was growing. Your shoes were barely touching the ground as he held you so tight against his armor. His deep brown eyes fixed on your face, drawing a path from your eyes to your lips and vice versa.

"You're such a competitive little thing, aren't ya?" He whispered, his nose brushing against yours as his rebel curls caressed your warm cheeks in such a soothing way. Sparkling eyes staring back at him, unconsciously begging for what your heart was longing for. One of his hands grabbed the nape of your neck, his thumb stroking the soft skin of your throat as he smiled in such a tempting way that made your knees weak. "I know what you want, my lady," he told you, murmuring. "and I'm willing to give it to you… just if you win in the next round."

With those words he let your frame go, and you opened your eyes as you woke up from the trance that he put you in. Once again you had been a victim of those puppy brown eyes, so charming, chivalry and kind. So loving, and devoting. You clenched your jaw as he laughed, your cheeks burning at this point while the butterflies flew uncontrollably around your belly. Inevitably, a subtle smile appeared on your face, for you were unable to hold it back; that was the effect he always had on you. You bit your lip and you grabbed your sword after pulling it out of the shield, your body turning into a fight position.

"Go on, I know you can do it, love," he cheered you up. And so you swing your sword one more time… it was a weak and ineffective movement the one you performed, and still you managed to win. Once Harwin pressed his lips against yours in such a hungry and passionate way, you realized that he had let himself lose.

But you did not complain.

BOLD MEANS I COULDN’T TAG YOU

GENERAL TAG LIST — @borikenlove @aemondsversion @jvpit3rs @watercolorskyy @kravitzwhore @valeskafics @clairacassidy @aemondx @arcielee @randomdragonfires @theminesofmoria @gothtargaryen @melsunshine @urmomsgirlfriend1

HARWIN TAG LIST — @hb8301 @megatardisbaby

[bonnieisaway]

WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT THAT - I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF MY MUTUALS - WE HAD A REALLY LONG CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW SEVEN ALWAYS WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE KILL IN THE PAST, AND WE GOT ON THE TOPIC OF THE GIRL IN WHITE AND YOU SAID THAT YOU THOUGHT SHE DIDN'T MEAN FOR SEVEN TO DIE BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T GO THROUGH THE HEART NOTICBLY MORE THROUGH HIS CHEST/STOMACH AND I SAID I WASN'T SURE IF WE COULD REALLY GO OFF OF THAT BECAUSE WE HADN'T KNOWN MUCH OF HER CHARACTER NOR WHY SHE DID IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO SIT DOWN AND REDISCUSS THIS BECAUSE SEASON FOUR SPOILER THING UNDER CUT

I WENT FUCKING FERAL WHEN THIS WAS SAID because like obviously the question is when the hell did that poison get put in him because I feel like , Seven wouldn't have taken it himself? Like he wanted to move on and he was willing to fight all of Xuanwu for the girl in white but I think he would've known he had to do that face on and that poison would only, inevitably, put them in more danger?

And I can't think of another shadow killer or the leader that would want this- EVERYONE wanted him dead, Green Phoenix presumably didn't care because evidently the shadow killers DIDN'T go after him last time or were afraid to, otherwise he would've used his plan earlier, the leader NEVER gets off his ass, and there would've been no point erasing his memories if he was wanted dead.

I feel like the logical conclusion here - at least I'm assuming between the moment he was stabbed and washed up nobody else saw him, and prior to the fight he hadn't seen anybody else who'd have done this nor discussed it - is that the girl in white had it on her blade, right? Like wasn't she also wanted dead? Seven was protecting her and that's the whole reason he was wanted dead, so killing him would've gotten her killed too and I feel like this shit is waaay too much to pull a sort of long-con to get him killed, but even if she WAS supposed to kill him as some sort of long hidden plan, maybe she might've loved him anyway and CHOSE this form of mercy? Because erasing his memories would effectively 'kill' him? Or was it that they both wanted this to end so badly but she chose the impulsive way out, getting herself killed and a merciful, forgetful end for Seven that had a fighting chance of letting him live on without her?

But also the symbolism when they show it confuses me.

So this eye was a new thing in season four and it ONLY ever really is shown around the leader of the shadow killers, when he's on his being-an-eldritch-horror shit, but my thing is WHAT purpose would he have to do that to Seven? Like yeah, he ordered him dead, but HOW would he even get that done and what reason would he have? Like, it was kind of presumed the leader had gone out on a limb and chosen SPECIFICALLY Seven for some unnamed reason, to a point that even Redtooth was fuckin annoyed about it (probably because to some degree Redtooth envied him but let's pack that away for another day) so I don't know WHY this eye is here

There's also a crow here which I would assume was ALSO for the leader's spybird if it wasn't for Blackbird's whip right next to it? But like, Blackbird doesn't seemingly have an unsettled score with Seven. He wanted him to die, yes, and he said "painfully at my hands," but that's like, how everyone dies to Blackbird. And their entire fight, there was nothing brought up about something in their past or between these two, everything was only about Blackbird's past and his tramua, which almost sounded like he felt like he needed to be this anti-hero killing Seven because of the order and would let Shimen take the reward.

There's also a really faint hand here? I don't know what else to attribute it to other than this hand:

back in season three, which this sequence was VERY much a long allegory about Seven's nature and that he's had a very, very short time to live the life he wanted and that he's basically being fucking dragged through life at this rate, though noticeably the hand here in season four has a red, glowy texture on it (aside from the rest of the texture near it) that's seeming to me either be blood or also another sort of imagery for the poison in him

but also there feels like there's a larger image here, too? It's really hard to make out because I can't really tell if it's just the shading , or a stylistic choice, but the bottom right is noticeably a different shade and has an outline and the inside has a wood-grain like texture? But I think also this might just be a sort of outline - given where it starts on Seven's shoulder - that's supposed to look like a gaseous, poison cloud coming from him. just AAAAAAAH oh my GOD there's so much to think about from this 20 seconds alone kill me

[thepaperpanda]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 15 - A Bit Late For Work || Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: In most cases, it's you who makes Bradley late to work, except when his mission is to make you feel relaxed following a stressful day.

Warnings: smut (oral - f receiving)

Word count: 1510

Author: Rouge

A/N: the prompt for today is: Oral Sex

You threw your car keys on the kitchen table and sighed loudly as you opened the refrigerator.

Bradley raised an eyebrow at you as he lowered the newspaper, tipping his glasses in the process.

You had no idea why he wore them. And yet, that small glint off the end when he was staring down at you from between his legs, ah. You shook off the thought, retrieved a water bottle, and sat at the table next to your boyfriend. The idea was nice, but you knew Rooster had work soon, and while you were normally very willing to make him late, you couldn't work up your usual libido.

Bradley could tell something was bothering his lover, and he tilted his head as you sat next to him. He set the paper down, removing his glasses as well, and placing them in his shirt pocket. "Would you like to talk about it?"

You shook your head. "Not particularly," you shrugged, taking a swig from the bottle. "You usually feel better when you do," he pointed out.

It was a valid point he made. Nevertheless, you decided it wasn't worth mentioning how much you wanted to change career paths again. All the time you bragged about not being completely satisfied with what you were doing but felt that it was too late to change anything. Even so, you didn't want to go to university any more, and felt like dropping your engineering studies. Your new goal was to become an artist. You were proficient at it too, about as good as you were at university, but pursuing it seemed like a dead dream.

Bradshaw watched you turn your head over. He waited for you to collect your thoughts, and eventually, once you had, he watched you sigh and shrug once more.

"Same thoughts as always, I'm tired of everything."

"You're doing a rather great job with your studies," Bradley pointed out.

You shot him a glare. "Sorry, sorry. I know."

You groaned, cocking your eyebrow.

“It’s about a lifestyle, my bad,” he corrected himself, sending you a soft grin.

"Close enough," you mumbled. But he wasn't wrong this time either. You sighed again, took another swig of water, and then put your forehead down on the table. "Maybe I'm just tired of it, I don't know. I don't feel sick of it though, I love learning and making friends. Maybe I just need a break?"

In response to your words, Bradley slowly rose and walked over to stand behind you. When he reached down, he gently pulled you by your shoulders until you were sitting up straight. He worked at the knots that had inevitably formed there by rubbing his fingers gingerly into the flesh of yours. "You think too much," he remarked with a low chuckle, being a little rougher about the massage. But you could handle it. In fact, Rooster knew just how much his little baby girl could truly handle.

The thought went straight to his groin, and he suddenly had an idea.

As you leaned into his touch, you teased, "Maybe you think too little." 

While you didn't expect the massage to last much longer, you were grateful that Rooster remembered little gestures of kindness so often, especially after the self-doubt you had been dealing with. 

When you suddenly felt his lips on your neck, you let out a quiet moan. You grinned a bit at the warmth of his mouth, but you weren't about to complain. If he had something a little more involved than the massage in mind, you weren't going to stop him obviously.

As his fingers slipped from over your shirt to under it, he stretched the collar just a bit so he was gripping mostly flesh. Like warming oil, his touch bit pleasantly into your shoulders and throughout your body. When you felt Rooster's hand reach down to your breast, you sighed and tensed slightly. He paused there for a moment, and when you leaned into his touch, he reached further down, cupping your entire breast in his hand. Your breath caught in Bradley's ears, and he grinned wider. The beast that resided within his heart loved being able to please you like this. 

Putting one hand on your breast, he slipped his fingers under the lacy fabric of your bra and squeezed your nipple sharply. In response to your breath catching again, he stopped massaging your shoulder with his left hand. In addition, he squeezed your soft nipple and traced his hand down your shoulder blade. Your nipple was squeezed again, causing you to moan, and then he rubbed your shoulder blade with his fingers. The two sensations made a louder moan fall from your lips, and you gripped the chair you were sitting in tightly to keep steady. As his voice filled with hellish lust, Rooster commanded, "Touch yourself." His eyes had changed to all-black; the influence you had on him was indescribable.

The fact that you listened nearly without hesitation made Bradley harder than he thought possible. But he was content to please you this time. After all, you needed the stress relief. He watched through his darkened eyes as your right hand reached between your legs, rubbing lightly before undoing your pants, and pushing them down. Then you reached into your lacy white panties and began moving your hand to the same rhythm Bradley was squeezing your nipple and rubbing your shoulders.

You let out a louder moan as all three sensations collided in the pit of your stomach. Rooster began to move faster, and so did you, until you began to feel your orgasm build. You tensed then, letting out several sharp moans as you came, back arched.

After a few moments, you relaxed, sinking into the chair. You were about to say something, but Rooster was suddenly in front of you, hands on either side of the chair. You  felt a shiver of anticipation roll down your spine when you looked into his darkened eyes, and then he was kissing you deeply. You wrapped your arms around him, but the kiss was cut short as Bradley moved to grab your thighs and pull you to him. You giggled a bit, then moaned when you felt his lips clasp onto your nipple.             

After a few seconds of teasing, Rooster trailed his lips languidly down your body, and then all the way down between your legs. He grinned as he touched your wet panties and pressed his fingers against your pussy, causing you to moan lightly again. "Take these off,” he demanded within a dark voice of his.

You did as you were told, quickly slipping off the lacy panties.

Shortly after, he wrapped your legs around his shoulders. In one swift movement, Bradley's tongue was pressed against you, causing you to cry out in pleasure as you gripped the chair. He grinned against your wetness and moved the tip of his tongue in little circles across your clit. You were already shivering, and soon as he kissed and licked and began sucking on your clit, he reached under his chin, and easily slipped two fingers into your needy pussy. Having his fingers strangle you properly, your pussy immediately engulfed his digits in its juice, causing you to moan in a low tone. To make your head spin, Rooster pressed his whole tongue to your clit and slowly moved it up and down, eventually reaching your entrance as he briefly spat on the fingers he pulled halfway out of your pussy, just to make them wetter than before. Soon, his digits returned to your pussy, and he curled them deep inside of you, massaging your very sensitive spot.

"Fuck!" You cried, pushing into him as he slowly began to pump his fingers. You moaned again, reaching one hand up to grip onto his hair as you felt another orgasm about to overtake your body. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" You cut yourself off and rolled your head back as a loud moan fell from your chest. Your legs tightened around his head as your orgasm hit, your legs shaking, your chest heaving.

Bradley held on for the ride, grinning wickedly as you came right into his mouth. He moaned too, rock hard and lustful, but satisfied in your pleasure. He leaned up after allowing you a few moments to breathe.

You sighed contentedly into the kiss, and then Rooster was pulling away, grin wide, eyes back to the normal color you were so fond of. He looked so wicked with the expression his face held though. 

You smiled all the same before looking at the clock on the wall. "You're going to be late, Rooster."

"Fuck," Bradshaw hissed, then laughed, running around to collect his things before heading out. Then he turned, as if recalling something, and was surprised to see you standing in the doorway waiting for him. After you tapped your lips briefly with your index finger, he smiled and kissed you again. "Right."

As your boyfriend ran out, you yelled, "Don't forget your meeting with Mitchell today!"

[fabbyf1]

I think it’s inevitable with RPF that characterizations are going to be similar. We all rely on the same basic facts and we build what we consider to be canon together, so I’d honestly be worried if characterizations were vastly different—it’s still fanfic, we’re not building brand new characters each time. People get into RPF by reading RPF, so while there’s some variation we all share a vaguely similar idea of what these characters are like and we form those ideas together whether we know it or not, and that in turn gives us a sandbox we can all kind of mess around in together. Obviously lifting whole bits of dialogue or common phrases is very different, though. I think ‘thinking with [character]’s dick’ is a common one but the other two you mentioned seem pretty specific. Again sorry, literally stumbled in off the street and am only distantly aware of what’s happening—I hope this doesn’t come off as rude

Hello, anon.

I appreciate your non-biased and objective opinion on this matter. Really, I do. You make a lot of great points that I wholeheartedly agree with. RPF is a beast. Every story is going to have "similar" characteristics if we're following canon timelines and making our characters as realistic as possible.

I also agree that, as a fandom, we tend to... make up a lot of common personality traits and use them over and over again until it’s hard to remember that they aren’t necessarily real. And they’re not based on facts. But we all continue to use them in our fics, and it helps them to be cohesive and easy to follow along from fic to fic. It helps us writers not have to character build as much as we would in an original fiction. 

A quick example of this is Max referring to Charles as "schatje". I think that's a very commonly used nickname in F1 RPF, even though Max himself has never publicly called anybody that. We have just decided, as a fandom, that that’s the dutch endearment he would use. It’s also easy to take commonly repeated phrases from Max The Person and shove them into our dialogue to make it easier for our characters to have a voice. For example, the phrase “of course” is used a lot in Max's dialogue because Max Verstappen (the person) says it a lot. 

But I think it's important for this instance, for the plagiarism that I'm speaking about, that you know the full context and don't just "stumble in off the street". You openly admitted that you're not fully aware of the situation, and that's totally okay. It's actually kind of refreshing to know not everyone is as concerned about this and that not everyone sees the copycat works as much as often as I do. 

If you’re a casual reader of F1 RPF, you probably don’t know it’s happening. 

But it’s not just me it’s happening to. Lots of other prolific authors are being taken advantage of and having their works stolen from them on an every day basis, and it really needs to stop. We all create this content for free, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have ownership over it. And the only logical reason I can see for people to steal our work is that they are attention-seeking and looking for clout. They want to be known as one of the great RPF authors. They want love and admiration. 

And it’s fine to want that. 

But you shouldn’t want it so badly that you’re willing to steal other people’s work to get it. 

That’s... disgusting. 

This is not the first time I’ve had my work stolen, and it won’t be the last. It’s not the first time somebody has been too heavily inspired by my work, and it won’t be the last. I know that is the risk I take with every fic I publish. It’s just a shame that it’s gotten so out of hand. 

I would like to correct you on one thing, though.  

You said: “I think ‘thinking with [character]’s dick’ is a common one but the other two you mentioned seem pretty specific.” but that’s not what I said. If you’ll go back and read my original post, my direct quote was, “but maybe that was [insert characters]'s dick talking," which is a very different phrase. If you’ve ever read my work, you will see that my characters often go on and on (and on) for a paragraph or two, lusting after the other character, sometimes spiraling further and further until it no longer makes sense and will end with “... but maybe that was [their] dick talking.” 

Again, I will say that I do not own that phrase, but I wouldn’t say that was a commonly used phrase in Formula 1 RPF until I started using it. 

I would know because I’ve been reading F1 RPF since it first started getting posted on AO3. 

I have read a good majority of the (completed) F1 fics posted to AO3. 

I know what existed before I started writing and what has appeared afterward. 

And again, let me clearly say I am not claiming to own that phrase or any other combination of words. But when that phrase, along with other commonly used phrases from my fic, all appear one after another in someone’s work? It’s too much of a coincidence to say it wasn’t intentional. 

But I do not expect you to know that since, as you said, you stumbled in off the street. 

I hope that makes sense. 

I hope we can all stop stealing from each other, or this fandom will be over before you know it. 

[blondiest]

23 & 27 for meronia

HI. these are great, thank you <3

(23) What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

I am going to answer this from a perspective of canonverse post-kira because i the shape of their relationship changes substantially over time, and I think it depends on when they get together, too.

Near's steadfast, quiet devotion to Mello. He has seen Mello at his worst and defended his every move, even those that directly impacted or threatened Near.

Mello's lifelong fixation on Near. His envy and admiration. The way he can't hold onto his resentment forever, no matter how he tries. His need for Near's attention and approval. His need to be needed.

Their history. The fact that their life experiences are so unique and fucked that the other is the only person who will ever understand them.

Near's willingness to forgive time and time again. Near's ability to set boundaries, extract apologies, and reign Mello in when necessary. I think Near is willing to put up with a lot of nonsense, but he isn't a doormat by any means.

In a similar vein: Near's belief that Mello can do better. Mello likes to think himself damned, irredeemable, wretched, monstrous, cursed, etc. Near strongly disagrees. He expects Mello to try to be good. Not perfect. But better. I think he's quite patient with Mello and understanding of his shortcomings and low moments, but he does not act like they're inevitable. It's harder for Mello to stay on his "I'm irreparably damaged and incapable of being good, or even good enough" bullshit when Near sharply and clearly just does not believe that to be true.

(27) How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

It is my strong belief that Mello has the potential to be deeply caring / nurturing (though I think his care / nurture is often either bossy or a little abrasive). In my mind, this has to do with his need to feel needed; I think in some ways he would prefer to be needed than loved, because it feels more secure. All this to say, I think Mello has the potential for tenderness, even if (at least at first) it's coming from a somewhat dysfunctional place (feeling like he has no value outside of what he can do for Near).

To that point: Mello shows his love for Near by meeting his needs. He knows which foods Near likes best, knows the specific brands, knows that the only raw tomatoes Near likes are the cherry ones, extra-sweet, and he knows the two or three varieties of apples Near eats.

Honestly, early-on, I think he tries to conceal all of this a little. He gets the exact right kinds of apples, peels and cuts them, and when Near makes an offhanded comment about how thoughtful it is, Mello acts like it was total coincidence that he prepared it exactly how Near likes. The next time it happens, Near doesn't make a comment. He just smiles and thanks Mello. Mello still gets embarrassed about it.

If he's not minimizing his little expressions of affection, he swings wildly in the other direction and acts like he deserves an award of some kind for excellence in boyfriending for THEE smallest of gestures.

As for Near, I think he predominantly shows Mello affection by seeking closeness. Once their relationship is established / secure, Near is not only the one to generally seek out physical affection, but usually the one to initiate sex. I think the combination of non-sexual physical affection and clear sexual desire/attraction from Near helps to alleviate Mello's "no one will ever truly want or love me" derangement. Similarly, I think Near indulges Mello's possessiveness to some degree as an expression of love (also because he's into it probably. sorry.); this is, I suppose, verbal at least some of the time, but it's not I love you exactly, so I'm counting it.

ship asks

[earlgreytea68]

Heaven, Iowa.. if ur willing/have the time! Would love to hear some thoughts 💜

I loooooove Heaven, Iowa. I know Pete says this is a song about drinking a screwtop bottle of wine and driving off a cliff, but this is a song about drinking a screwtop bottle of wine and being in love, and staying there, in your own little bubble. That's how I read this song. It's one of those classic FOB songs with classic Pete Wentz lyrics working on one level with a perfectly expected and stereotypical interpretation and simultaneously working on a whole other level that deepens and complicates the entire narrative of the song.

Okay, so, first, that opening line: 6 AM, Mulholland Drive, "Moonlight Sonata" and I. First of all, shut up, this is so evocative in so few syllables and it kills me. Second of all, as others have pointed out, it should grammatically be "Moonlight Sonata and me," probably, unless it's intended to be the beginning of a sentence, and that's actually how I read the whole first few lines, as cut-off sentences.

Moonlight Sonata and I --

(wait, hang on, let me try this again):

First movement, you and I and a screwtop bottle of wine --

The use of the pronoun "I" instead of "me" in those phrases implies the beginning of a sentence, but the end of the sentence never comes, you never hit a verb. To me, it's like the speaker is so full of feelings that they can't be articulated, he's speaking in snatches.

Also, "first movement" is so clever, hahaha, the first eleventy million times I listened to this song, I thought it was a clever Moonlight Sonata reference, you know, first movement of the Moonlight Sonata, and then I wrote that fic based on these lyrics and Pete's sitting in the car in the fic debating making the first move and I suddenly was like, "omg first movement," like, it can also be making the first move required, who makes it, you and I and a screwtop bottle of wine will help move things along. Ugh, he's so smart about such silly little things like that all the time.

ANYWAY, then you come to honestly the sexiest image on the whole album: "I've unspooled on the floor." Ugh Pete. This always makes me think of the whole meme about how bisexual people can't sit in chairs normally. Pete totally would just sprawl out on the floor while he drinks wine. (I often write Pete sitting on the floor on my fics and now you're going to notice that, now that I've said it.) Also, though, "unspooled" is just a great poetic word there, you have an exact image of falling-apart-ness and letting-go-ness that no other word would have achieved. It connotes the unraveling of something that is ordinarily tightly wound -- that is supposed to be tightly wound -- and the unraveling causes a special kind of tangled mess, but also a loose sense of release.

"I feel so A Star Is Born" is a lot, given the plot about discovering and encouraging an incredibly talented, younger singer by a person who's already kind of a big shot. So there's that. Also the fact that Pete when writing these lyrics was around the same age as the Bradley Cooper character in the film, which makes this line feel about wondering about reputational decline and artistic legacy (which Pete thinks a lot about in his lyrics, anyway, but never in quite as tragic terms as this). The "would you read my eulogy" line fits with that "Star Is Born" reference: I'm not worth it, but will you tell everyone good things about me when I'm gone? Which also connects to: Tell me when the party ends, will you still love who I am? WHICH ALSO, in the mythology of Fall Out Boy, is a weighted metaphor anyway. In Pete lyrics, the party is often life, with the afterlife taking the place of the afterparty, so this can be another death reference. But also, inevitably parties ending make you think about "Where Did the Party Go?," and so then this becomes a hiatus reference: "When everything is stripped away and it's just us, do you still love me then?"

"I will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me," is just a straight-up line from a love song, which is important, because to me this entire song is a love song, and that line betrays it so very clearly. The speaker is never, ever alone in this song, there is constantly a "you and I," someone to kiss his cheek, someone to read his eulogy, someone there after the party ends. (Even when there's not a someone, there's the Moonlight Sonata still with him, and I'll get to that later.)

The chorus is "Scar-crossed lovers." I've seen people talk about how emo and goth an image that is, and I get it. The "scar" reference seems like it makes it emo-er than the usual saying, which is "star-crossed." So on one level, sure, how Pete Wentz to turn the word "star" into "scar," of course, once an emo, always an emo, etc. But I actually think changing "star" to "scar" converts a hopeless saying into a hopeful one. Because "star-crossed lovers" means lovers who can't hold it together. The original star-crossed lovers were Romeo and Juliet. Certainly not a happy ending for them. But these in this song are not star-crossed lovers. They are scar-crossed. Scars are actually healing. They are the body's kintsugi, to use a reference from another song. If you've got a scar, sure, it means you've been through something, but what it really means is you got through it. You came out the other side and you healed. These are not lovers who can't get it together. These are lovers who came out on the other side of the apocalypse.

The same multi-layered meaning exists in the next line: "I'm checking myself out forever." Sure, on one level, this sounds negative: I am gone, I'm leaving. But the thing is: What is he leaving? It's actually not entirely clear. I don't think it's the relationship he's leaving. I think it's the rest of the world. And not in a bad and depressing way. He's like, "Look, I have found something real here. You see all this nonsense, all this chaos, all this drama? I am checking myself out of all of this forever." This goes nicely with the next line: "I'm saving this all for later," which can also be read on two levels, one being, "I'm checking out of this nonsense, I'll deal with it later, I'm staying in my bubble with my love." Another being, "I am here in this bubble with my love and I am going to remember every second of this." After all, "save for later" means something you want to make sure you return to. That line, "Here we are untouched forever" also supports a positive reading of the relationship. It could be read as, "Now we no longer exist, we are only enduring in my memory," but...nowhere in the song does that seem true of this relationship. The relationship is very present throughout the song. When he says "here we are untouched forever," I think he's talking about this bubble he's retreated into, away from the rest of the world.

And that reading goes into the second verse, too, where he refers to himself as being "gone like this." This could be read as really dark, given the Star Is Born reference. But it could also be read as: I have checked out of everything and I am holed up with my love and just everyone wait to see how much they're going to miss how much I was doing and holding together. "Talking to the mirror," (I am the invisible man...) -- "Half your life you've been hooked on death." This seems like an obvious reference to Pete Wentz's reputation, but it's in quotes, like he's quoting other people, like he's telling himself, reminding himself what people think of him. Because that's not who he is.

This last bit of the second verse is so fascinating to me. "Twice the dreams, but half the love, be careful what you bottle up, the chemistry is a mess it seems," these are all negative images and negative lines, warnings and self-recriminations. And then there's that unexpected "But me, I'm still a sunbeam." Patrick is usually the sun in Pete's lyrics, the sun is usually something outside of Pete. How shocking and strange for Pete to suddenly write that he's the sunbeam, and for Patrick to give it a melodic flourish to boot. That could be Patrick giving that to him: "Don't worry about your chemistry, you're definitely loved." BUT, it could also be Pete finally, finally internalizing what Patrick says to him all the time: "YOU'RE the sunbeam. It isn't me. It doesn't matter how you feel like you're too much, it doesn't matter how much you feel like you bottle up, it doesn't matter how much you feel like a mess, you're still amazing, you're still a sunbeam." Ugh, the amount of healing in this song. Scar-crossed, indeed. The bridge could be read as flipped, from Patrick's perspective, and that works, but, tbh, that bridge can also be read as Pete closing his eyes inside the bubble he's created with his love, and there's darkness in this, but the love's glow is right there, so soothing, leading him home, a beacon. When Pete closes his eyes and shuts the rest of the world out -- there, there's the glow, giving him that little shove he needs to keep going: Shake things up, see what comes down, write another album with me, send me some words, we've got this.

This song rises to unbelievable heights by the end of it, like, it is sonically overwhelming, but then it loops around to the same soft rhyme as the beginning, Patrick crooning once again. It begins and ends with the speaker and music. In the end, the thing that has always been there for them: the music.

Also, the fact that Moonlight Sonata is the reference is so interesting in the context of Patrick being the sun in Pete's lyrics. If Patrick is the sun, that makes Pete the moon, catching his reflected glory. Moonlight Sonata, indeed.

This song is full of yearning, but at no point do I feel sad for this guy. He's gonna be okay. His love is right there with him when the party ends.

[soracities]

hi mim! i hope you're keeping well :) i wonder if you have any experience or thoughts on something, as a fellow late twenties-er:

how do you deal with unaccountable/unjustified cruelty towards you? like most people, i've lived through some bad times and have had pleeeeenty of people be mean to me, but generally as an adult, especially in the last few years, i do all right managing social situations & protecting myself, so i can safely disengage or accept the shitty stuff until the feelings dissipate. also, i try really, really hard to be genuine and kind to everyone, no matter what, and am relatively naive, so that helps limit bad interactions to some extent.

but earlier this year, i was trapped in a situation with a boss (they had power over me, so i couldn't leave) and was stuck listening to them hammer at me relentlessly with cruel, personal insults. (my union wasn't willing to do anything because of work politics.) my boss had teased out some misunderstandings and built them up in their head and let them fester until they felt the need to pull me into their office and scream really horrible things at me. they refused to let me defend myself and called me a liar every time i tried - basically begged - to explain where the misunderstandings must have come from, laughed at me when i asked them to stop yelling, threatened me over and over...i was full-bodied sobbing in front of them because i couldn't understand how this could have happened, how someone i knew and trusted (at work! not a shitty family member or abusive partner!) could snap and lose control like that at me. it was so so awful.

an older friend, who is much more cynical than i am, pointed out afterwards that this is par for the course when you're trying to be a nice and honest person; he tried to impress upon me the idea that if you are kind and passionate, you will inevitably & repeatedly encounter people who will harm you because they can do so without consequences. because if you care about being kind, they know you won't fight back. because if you care about your work, you'll do anything to keep doing it.

i have a really hard time with this perspective. again, i've lived through plenty of horrible things, no small number being directly related to injustice and prejudice, and i firmly believe that you don't get the chance to opt out of suffering in life. i know that there are worse things that happen on vastly different scales. i also know vocational awe and abuse is a real issue in the arts and in helping professions - i made it my life's work to help people who've suffered childhood trauma, as did my coworkers, but unfortunately the kind of people who run not-for-profits are rarely (if ever?) cool, decent people.

so i can't stop thinking about this day - i quit my job, even though i was eventually able to calm my boss down, because i have boundaries when it comes to yelling at work, but the excessive degree of cruelty sticks in my mind. i can't wrap my head around it because her behaviour feels so antithetical to anything i could ever even imagine doing to another person, especially in a workplace. i'm not obsessing over it, but this degree of meanness really sticks, you know? as we get older and encounter more people like this, how do we keep our hearts open? how do we make sense of cruelty when we have no way of fighting it or reasoning with it? as we get older and get a better sense of how limited our power is in the world, how do we let go and move on without losing hope?

I think we are able to let go and move on without losing hope because "letting go" is not surrendering our own capacity for action--it's surrendering the belief that we should be able to (if we are truly "good and virtuous" enough as people) control the responses and decisions of other people.

I think it's very easy to conflate the two: that letting go is the same as not caring, but they aren't mutually inclusive things in the least. And I think this idea maybe comes from the same perspective you described your older friend as having (and I am with you in this, because I do not abide by that belief either)--that if you are kind and passionate, you will inevitably & repeatedly encounter people who will harm you because they can do so without consequences. I think the biggest issue I have with this (and I have many) is that it assumes a responsibility for others' actions that you are not obliged to have. And in doing so it actually erases the notion of accountability (which we do have) by putting the brunt of it on a single party, effectively absolving the other (the person who acted cruelly and caused you harm in the first place) of any responsibility they themselves have. It's a perspective I don't like because it negates itself without realising, or acknowledging, that it does so but still posits its view as an undeniable truth about the world: by its own logic people have enough agency to act in cruel ways because they know they can get away with it (which implies a conscious, measured, analytic decision), but somehow not enough agency to be held responsible for that decision in the first place.

It's not an objective statement, but a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you are going to be responsible for other people's unwarranted mistreatment of you, then, yes, caring and sincerity aren't worthy endeavours--but only because you have actively created, and justified, a world in which your right to behave callously takes precedence and is, therefore (whether this is conscious or not, admitted or not), valued. And at its heart, I sometimes think that is what statements like this are about: they're an indicator of what we value in this world, even if we don't realise it, or would be horrified to realise it

I think that because this idea is so prevalent and exists in so many different variations--the idea that you have to guard yourself against others because people will "always" take advantage of you otherwise--it trickles down even to those of us who don't believe it; you convince yourself that any mistreatment has to be a failing on your part: your kindness wasn't good enough, your attempts at understanding weren't empathetic enough--in short: you made a bad investment and therefore you were not good enough. And when we fall into this trap, the same thing happens to us as happens to the person who harmed you: you lose sight of your own agency and your own capacity for decision-making, and the role these occupy in every interaction, for every person.

Being kind, open, and sincere, to me, are things that have very little, if anything, to do with other people--they are decisions that I have made regarding my conduct, my beliefs, and my hopes for the kind of world that I want to live in, and the world I want to build with each interaction I have with someone else. They are not a means of measuring my own worth in the eyes of others, or proving myself to people to show that I am good enough, I can be good enough, that if you let me show you who I am, what I am, how I am then surely this can overcome anything (because I am giving everything I have) and you can accept me and therefore I can accept myself--because the fallout of that is, like I said, that if someone rejects it and decides instead to offer cruelty, the edifice of my entire being falls apart: why? because I have hitched it all on someone else's decision. The decision that I made, the decision that I came to as a result of all my experiences, all my hurts and beliefs, all that I have learnt and unlearnt in order to get to a place where I can exist in the world in a way that gives me fulfillment (in essence: the sum of my entire life)--all of that suddenly doesn't matter anymore, and why? Because someone else decided to be shitty?

This is what I mean about agency, and about our own capacity for action. Someone else's choice doesn't have to be mine. But it is their choice. And if you offer kindness and are met with callousness, that is a choice on their part, not yours. Letting go of others' cruelty towards you, and cruelty in the world at large, is not letting go of your own beliefs or changing who you are and how you approach or live in the world. It's simply saying: this is me, and that is you--otherwise it'd be like deciding that you no longer like oranges because some random person thinks clementines are gross.

I don't necessarily believe that all acts of cruelty are beyond understanding, but I also don't believe that understanding is going to come as some kind of revelatory moment that will make it all make sense. But what I do believe is that, sometimes, especially when it comes to people treating us as horrifically as your boss treated you (and I really am so sorry that you were forced to endure something so awful for that long), when we look for understanding, what we're looking for is a justification: that there has to be a why to explain it all and tidy these painful interactions up like a neat and indisputable equation. But I don't believe that they are always the same thing. If I were to take any of the hateful rhetoric I see around me--sexism, racism, homophobia etc--and try to understand it I know I won't and never could, and I'm thankful for that: because, for me, the very moment it begins to make sense to me is the moment I have seen something in it that can be justified and that will never ever be the case. But what I can understand is how we have a world in which these exist--I can see and recognize all the various points of power and domination that require a constant renewal and generation of such intense violence and hate in order to maintain a status quo whose sole priority is its own preservation, at the brutal cost of anyone and everything else. That, in situations like these, is what understanding is to me: it isn't acceptance or justification but knowing how certain aspects of this world work so that I can make the decision to refuse them.

The key thing, I think, in trying to understand why people treat us unkindly, is knowing that we can refuse it, not by negating it as a reality (this is naivety and can, sometimes, be just as insular as blind cynicism) but recognising that sometimes people respond in ways that are the result of factors that have nothing to do with us personally--they could be the result of traumas, immaturity, selfishness, bad behavioural feedback loops or simply plain pettiness--but it isn't our job to somehow fix that for them.

When it comes down to it, at the heart of most pessimism (and some cruelty) is a reservoir of fear or pain, or some concoction of the two. Our world is a profoundly fucked up place, in many regards, and all of us accumulate a host of hurts and traumas as a result of that: you cannot always control the things that happen to you but you can control the decisions you make about your life and the actions you choose to follow as a result. Your boss made a calculated, deliberate decision to berate you in the most painful and humiliating way possible--this had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. People who decide, consistently, to act cruelly will do so regardless of who is on the receiving end: it isn't about the person they target, but about whatever this cruelty and targetting validates for them and that is a choice. You cannot understand why she would do this to you because you know there is no justification for it. And that is something to hold on to because already it shows you that you are absolutely not like her. And that is where your agency and your ability to not lose hope lies.

I think the only way, sometimes, that I have managed to deal with this (and despair in general at the things that happen in this world sometimes) is to recognise what I can control and what I can't. It doesn't make things less painful, but it does make them less crippling. Whatever has happened in people's lives, the views they take as a result and the decisions that they then make--that isn't something I can change. All I can account for is how I respond, learn and grow from my own experiences. Other people can have their truths about the world, but I also have mine: and I assert it over and over again through the people I surround myself with, through the little actions I take to try and make it all as bearable as I can for myself and others, where I'm able to. I think, for me, recognizing the world's duality is part of that: knowing that cruelty exists, that pain exists, that senseless violence exists and knowing, too, that beauty exists, that graciousness, and openness, and kindness exist--and that I can resolve to bring more of those into the world and less of the others, even if it's only in my tiny corner of it. It may be small, but it exists. And if my life is a testament to nothing else but that, then I know I'll have spent it sincerely, regardless of what others choose to do with theirs. I really hope this helps you somewhat, anon 💕