#(and I say this as an official monsterfucker myself)

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

feeling the doki dokis for Sascha tonight

they are my most precious lil humanfucker <3

[val-made-a-mistake]

❝PUSHING THE LIMITS.❞

(not my gif)

summary: eddie might fuck you good, but venom pushes your limits.

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, nasty ass smut, surprised-myself-while-writing-it kind of smut, sorta dubcon towards the end, oral sex f and m receiving, sticky tendrils and tentacles and appendages and such, bondage using v's tendrils, hair pulling, spanking, double penetration, eddie spitting in reader's mouth, eddie slaps reader's cheek a lil bit in the beginning, overstimulation central, names like "good girl", "sweet angel", "sweet girl", "beautiful girl"... don't wanna hype myself up too much, but i think y'all are gonna be eating good while reading this one. monsterfucking. i am definitely not getting into heaven, so make my sacrifice worth it and grab some popcorn!

word count: 2k

a/n: if you've ever wanted me to write a sequel for fics like "take the reins" and "don't pretend", this is for you. i can't believe this is my official return to fic writing LMAO, but we're pretending like i never left! (yes i know i posted my last fic in april.) i hope you enjoy, please give me some feedback for this one!

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“Gooooood fuckin’ girl.”

You struggled to hide your wince as Eddie harshly slapped your cheek again: you were on your knees, your face raised to look at him as he knelt over you, directing your face in whatever way he wanted it to go. Some parts sweet, some parts rough - whether it was pulling your hair until your cunt twinged with need, or spitting in your mouth when it got too dry for him to fuck, or how fucking good his cock felt when it was shoved into your mouth, you took all of it enthusiastically. 

You hadn’t heard Venom’s commentary in a while, but at least Eddie seemed to be enjoying himself.

“That’s great, honey,” Eddie gasped as he slipped the tip of his cock in your mouth again: you sucked on it dutifully, slathering your spit over his already glistening length, but throughout all of it, your eyes were locked on his face.

He was almost out of breath just from watching you. “Jeez, that’s fuckin’ nasty…”

Overachieving, you responded by taking his whole length into your mouth until the tip of his cock slammed into your uvula and you were forced to gag.

You meant to stay there, but Eddie’s hand was buried in your hair very suddenly, tugging you backward: he evidently hadn’t been expecting that.

“Easy, honey,” he told you. “It’s not every day I got a girl jumping all over me, y’know.”

You sat back on the bed and stuck out your tongue for him, grinning widely. “Sorry.”

Inside his head, Venom scoffed.

PUSSY.

“N-no, don’t be sorry for anything,” Eddie managed to say to you as he allowed his cock into your mouth again, determined to keep Venom at bay inside his thoughts. “Feels so fucking good, just like that…”

Sucking him off until he came had to be the plan, you figured, so you kept going, keeping your tongue flat along his length as he fucked your mouth. His cock was so goddamn thick, and your tongue kept brushing along a prominent vein as you went. The best part was his hand, firm in your hair, ensuring he was using you in whatever way he wanted.

Meanwhile, Venom’s voice was a reassuring purr in Eddie’s ear.

SHE LOOKS SO GOOD LIKE THIS, EDDIE.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when Eddie decided he wanted to move: he was off of you in an instant, but he was grabbing your leg, indicating he wanted you to move with him.

His voice was soft, almost sweet, keeping you wet. “Up, honey, c’mon.”

Breathless, your heart pounding now that there wasn’t a hand in your hair anymore, you got off your knees and, following his direction, rolled over on the bed.

“Shit,” Eddie commented appreciatively, just before he spanked you harshly. “Pop that up for me, honey.”

Grinning sheepishly, you buried your face in the pillow and lifted your stinging ass in the air for him.

“Fuck,” he gasped as the palm of his hand brushed over your pussy - yeah, you already knew you were dripping, and the humiliation of it made you flush. “You always get this wet just having a dick in your mouth?”

“It’s just you,” you mumbled weakly, which earned your another spank.

“Just me, huh?” Eddie replied, mockingly, making your face burn. “Not V? You’re telling me this pretty pussy’s dripping just because of me?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he’d spanked you directly on your pussy this time, making you moan weakly.

“Fuck,” you gasped, burying your face in the pillows. You had a feeling that Venom would’ve teased you endlessly if you moaned for him, and you weren’t sure if you could handle it when your pussy was already this wet, but God, you’d never been more tempted.

Inside his head, Venom was sounding impressed, but he hadn’t revealed himself yet.

KEEP GOING, EDDIE. YOU WILL BREAK HER.

Keeping your head in the pillow, you spread your legs wider for him, trying to expose as much of your pussy as you could. Spurred on by Venom’s praise, Eddie grinned.

“Fucking glistening,” he laughed, running a finger delicately along your drenched pussy, sending sensitive nerves haywire. “What a pussy. I mean, Jesus…”

He leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your damp inner thigh, and that simple, two-second touch had your mind speeding out of control with obscenities. No doubt about it, spreading your holes like this turned you on: you could feel your slick running down your inner thighs, and if your brain wasn’t jammed, you would’ve been begging for Eddie for Venom to come out, to finally fuck you.

Breathless with anticipation, you grabbed a fistful of pillows instead and waited patiently, keeping still.

Inside his head, Venom was chomping at the bit, too.

WHEN WILL YOU LET ME OUT, EDDIE?

Just give me a few more minutes, Eddie’s thoughts responded, a bit urgently.

He opted to pretend as though nothing had happened, keeping his control over you.

“Spread your legs more, baby. I want to see how turned on I made you.”

Moaning weakly, you did as he said, spreading your legs to reveal your glistening wet mess of a pussy: you had yet to touch yourself, or do anything to stop the spread of heat in your most sensitive spot, but you felt like if he didn’t touch you soon, you were going to go into cardiac arrest.

You closed your eyes and listen to him move closer.

Eddie’s hands were warm around your thighs, and you could feel him kiss both of your inner thighs - dear god, he’s about to kill you - before he kissed your clit, enveloping it with warmth. 

Everywhere. Oh God.

You gasped weakly. “Oh, Eddie…”

Again, Venom’s voice was a reassuring purr in Eddie’s ear.

YOU ARE UNRAVELLING HER, EDDIE. KEEP GOING.

“That feel good?” he whispered, kissing you softly again.

Well, fucking obviously: you were clutching the pillows above you with all your might, doing your best not to squirm in pleasure. “Eddie, please…”

You were so fucked out you couldn’t finish that sentence, but Eddie knew what it meant, and Venom did too.

LET ME OUT, EDDIE. YOU KNOW SHE WANTS IT.

“You need V, honey?” Eddie whispered from between your legs: he sensed from the growing warmth in his abdomen that he wouldn’t have control over his body for much longer, so he was determined to savour it for as long as he could.

You nodded weakly, flushed with pleasure - Eddie’s tongue may have been a natural, non-monstrous length, but it was pressed to your clit nonetheless, and it would’ve made anybody come after long enough. “Give him to me.”

That did it: Venom came out with a flourish, enveloping Eddie’s body entirely in black goo until he wasn’t Eddie anymore, but tendrilled and sticky and terrifying and one hundred percent Venom.

You almost came at the sight of him. “Oh, V…”

Venom’s tongue protruded from his mouth, licking clean his impressive row of fangs. His milky white eyes might’ve caused others to cower, but you stared directly into them, breathless. It was fascinating, really, how quickly Eddie had disappeared.

Venom’s voice was a deep purr, deeper than anything you’d ever heard.

DID YOU MISS ME, SWEET ANGEL?

“I did, V,” you gasped as a glittering black tendril snuck up your leg, “God, I - I want you so bad.”

Venom cocked his head to the side, watching you intently, like a predator watching its prey.

I TELL EDDIE THAT ALL THE TIME.

You gasped as the appendage finally breached your cunt, pulsating and sticky, giving you exactly the feeling of fullness you wanted. “Oh, Venom…”

The pillow you were clinging onto was gone in a second, replaced by two tendrils pinning your arms onto the bed. Before you knew it, two other tentacles were wrapping around your ankles, fully restricting your ability to move, and there you were, trapped on the bed as Venom was leering above you, his cock sliding in and out of you.

His pace was relatively slow, but you soaked up every pulsing inch succeeded inside of you, and every now and again, he’d make the tendril twist, bringing you closer to the edge every time.

I DON’T EVER THINK I’VE SEEN YOU THIS WET, SWEET ANGEL.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet, your thoughts responded incredulously, but all that came out was a choked, “Ngh!”

You were coming, you knew it, and it still hit you like a fucking freight train: the orgasm rushed through you as blood thundered to your brain, euphoria crashing over you at maximum intensity. Everything welling up inside of you just burst, and nothing had ever been so lovely.

You went deaf for a moment as the only thing you could hear was your heart absolutely pounding and the shrill ringing in your ears, but you knew you were gasping for breath, completely overtaken by this orgasm. You’d never tell Eddie, but it was Venom who knew how to pull orgasms from you like this, and only Venom, his glittering black cock absolutely destroying you from the inside out.

Of course, it was then Venom suddenly decided to slam his cock into you at full force, overstimulating you beautifully.

The confidence in his voice never wavered.

I KNOW YOU CAN TAKE IT, BEAUTIFUL GIRL. I HAVE SEEN YOU TAKE IT.

“Oh, Venom,” you were gasping over and over, but you couldn’t fully hear yourself over the ringing in your ears and the sounds of Venom’s glittering black tendril sliding in and out of your drenched, abused pussy, filling you up to the maximum. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

He did the pulsating, twisting thing inside of you once again, and your eyes nearly rolled back into your head: when he was pinning you down like this, you had nothing to hold onto, it was just you, the cock inside of you, and the threat of this monstrous creature swallowing you whole. “Oh my god, Venom!”

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EDDIE SEEING THIS, SWEET GIRL?

“Oh, fuck, Venom…” you moaned from underneath him, incoherent now as his cock pistoned in and out of you. You were blathering, but the message was clear: don’t fucking stop!

Venom was smug, now.

HOW DO YOU FEEL KNOWING I CAN TAKE YOU BETTER THAN EDDIE EVER COULD?

“You’re better than Eddie,” you mumbled incoherently as Venom ramped up speed, “Loads better than Eddie, I just - oh fuck - holy shit, V, keep going!”

WILL YOU COME FOR ME, SWEET ANGEL?

Yes, I will, your thoughts responded immediately, but actions spoke louder than words: your second orgasm ripped through you as your legs shook, you were pushed to the point of insanity. This one really took you by surprise compared to the first, but you revelled in it, your vision flashing with white as Venom fucked into you. You could feel your body sinking into the bed despite the restraints, spent, and you almost thought it was over, but–

Venom, of course, didn’t care.

COME FOR ME AGAIN, BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

“V,” you whispered weakly, your entire body damp with sweat from your last orgasm, “I - I don’t think I can, I just came.”

Above you, Venom absolutely snarled, and his tongue slithered down to force your legs even further apart.

WHEN I SAY COME, YOU COME!

A second, bigger tendril sank into your ass this time, and you gasped: you were filled, completely and utterly filled, and God, you’d be lying if it didn’t feel so fucking wonderful.

“I - I’m gonna come,” you blathered, blinking hard as the realization set in: you were about to come faster than you’d ever come in your life. “I - I’m gonna come, V, holy - oh my god-”

The words I’m coming were lost in your throat, but it didn’t matter: in a matter of seconds, you’d came for a third time, and the euphoria this time around was still there, yet with a bitter and harsh edge. Your body was exhausted, but your pussy was drenched, and all Venom knew was to keep fucking going, so–

You were gasping, half-deaf with your vision flashing with white, trying to make peace with the reality that Venom was going to fuck you until you passed out.

[monstrouslyobsessed]

life updates and then some

oh dear, i've been gone for quite a long while, huh? i'm so, so sorry and i really, REALLY do appreciate all of your concerns and sweet messages! it's heartwarming to know that my works are still being loved even in my absence. yall deserves some explanations so ima get right in it.

mild cw ahead: bizarre financial abuse (?), depression, and nongraphic medical concerns.

these past few months were pretty rough, especially with the financial aspects, personal matters, and my health, both mental and physical, had been going downspiral to the point that my writing had become complete nonexistent and that i lowkey hated every word i put down. i won't get into too much of details, but the short of it, an estranged family member (and trust when i say they are estranged for very good reasons) pulled a fast one via some kind of legal fraud (???), which hurts my financial situation and impacted my ability to pay bills. im still a huge wtaf over it, i won't lie, but it is something getting sorted out atm via official and legal means (fun times to be had!!!). im incredibly lucky to be living with a very understanding person though who also got very angry on my behalf so don't worry about my current living situation.

health wise, doctors found something wrong with one of my organs but they couldn't determine the issue. since then, life had been a struggle.

with my health was the first thing to start for me, it's nothing fatal or too life altering, fairly mild imo (so say i with stupidly high pain tolerance, apparently), but it's kind of something i need to keep aware of with my consumption. but boy tis was not fun living with discomforts with my own body for a while. rest just fell into places afterward, unfortunately, but that's how the life go--you'll always have your ups and downs, just cherish the present while you can.

anyway, i can't promise i'll be posting regularly again given my situation(s), not as on a semi-frequent schedule, which absolutely does make me sad because i really do love making monsterfucker contents, not just for myself but for you lovely readers as well. hopefully i'll be back sooner than later. that said…

i do have a super overdue commission i'm going to post very soon! just got one last scene to get through (it's currently at 8.1k words....!) and get it edited and make it pretty--and bam! it'll be done and posted. so do look forward to that, at least.

heck, i'll leave yall with this teaser line at the start of the final scene!

“Let us give them quite a show, hm?”

just gonna...get through pron writing lmao <3 yet again, thank you all so very much for caring and i really do miss you and your kind words. please take care of yourselves, lovelies!

in the meantime, i'm going to clean out my blog a bit and i'll try to reply some of your asks later too. if you have anything random, asking for advice, or anything related to my ocs or my aus, ask away. my inbox is always open for yall <3

[hydrangeyes]

Unnamed

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit Nov.8.2023:

*Looks everywhere but at you* it..it was going to be pwp.

Botw link x male lynel hybrid

Warning: kinda slow burn, romance is there????, it is, courting, violence, slight misunderstanding, belly bulge, big dick, cum play, ass eating, blow jobs, pet play, overstimulation, nipple play/light torture, somniphilia, crying, light angst, public sex, voyeurism, switch link, switch oc, updated as I write lmao, this is pretty slice of life tbh, just with porn, ruts/heats, This is some wild shit, Wow google search please don’t 

Are you telling me lynel's exist and someone hasn't once thought "maybe 👀 these centaur babes can get it?" Cause I honestly don't believe that.

================================================

Chapter 1: I love Chabi, I feel like she would be a gremlin.

Note: Puuuuuure self-indulgence. Like listen my brain went brrrrrrrrr, this is for fellow monsterfuckers

Traveling after fighting Ganon all at once was rather...fun. Maybe it’s because he went straight to the source of evil and somehow lucked out. And now don’t have a sense of urgency to get to that end goal. The collecting of his memories happened right after as well and by then the princess herself wanted to truly rest up before traveling with him.

He didn’t like the thought of leaving her behind, but he felt a little more at ease that at least she would be staying with Purah for the time being.

Link shivers as he tugs up the fur around his neck. Snowfield was feeling extra chilly for some reason.  He moves a little faster, shuffling through his pockets as he ate one of his emergency peppers. Imagine his relief when he sees the stable just up ahead with a few of the tiny town’s stacked together houses.

“Ah, link!” A voice calls to him once he steps in. The tavern/horse stable wasn’t too packed thank goodness but there was a familiar face. Chabi grins waving at the surprised Hylian.

Chabi and he became pretty good friends after the handful of times Link has saved her as well as traded monster parts with her. She mainly stuck to warmer places and just barely the edges of goron city. It seemed she was acting as an in-between for Kilton and fellow travelers. But being so far from the usual land she would circle in?

“Chabi? A bit far from the base aren’t you?” Link said softly with gesturing to the whole thick woven sweater she was in. Giggling chabi smirks puffing out her chest. “Call me the official Monster tradesman! I’ve started traveling a little further out for those rare materials. Kilton even gifted me with some weapons that’ll protect me better!” she starts up, gesturing him to join her at the little table she was sitting at.

“And so I thought why not start the one place I know the boss doesn’t care to visit. He doesn’t like the cold, he says it makes his feet clammy.”

Link holds back the many questions that pop up in his head about that. Best to store that away with the other questions he has under Kilton’s name. “I..see. So Snowfield was your first stop or?”

“Hm? OH no hehe. Rather some interesting rumors brought me here.”

Feeling like this will be a long one Link waves over a barmaid to buy some spicy curry and hopefully a few fish skewers. Maybe buy a bed for the night as well, just in case, the others get taken.

---------------------------------------------------------

“-And so there I was! Hearing about a lynel wandering between the mountains and near the ruins! And oh I just had to see for myself, maybe ask for a few loose fangs or toenails you know?”

“No. I don’t know.” Link muttered into his drink. It felt like hours since she started this story, before finally getting to the point. He learned way more about how to skin mokoblin guts than he wished. Anyway- “I doubt they would give you a fang but what’s this about it traveling to the ruins?” As far as Link knew most lynels up here were feral or didn’t live anywhere close to the ruins.

“Well, which ruins now that I think about it…” Link asks as Chabi finishes up the last fish skewer. 

“Mhh, Well I say ruins but really it’s the forgotten temple.”

Now that got his attention. What could a lynel want in that guardian-ridden place??? Link frowns leaning back o think about it. That temple of any was the most dangerous and well...Link couldn’t help but feel a little responsible since he didn’t exactly break down the guardians still in there. He was still getting the hang of dealing with those, much less the mobile ones.

The thought of those stalkers since a bone-deep type over shiver. “Why don’t you let me check out if the rumors are true or not. I know you can take on a hoard of bokoblins but even when they’re going easy on you lynels are tough, and rather approach you than vice versa.”

Chabi yawns pouting a bit, sleep probably just now getting to her. “Mm, I suppose. If you can leave them a welcoming message to trade with me please?” she half pleads and half demands. Link nods getting up for a stretch, absolutely happy that she didn’t stop him. He was ready to collapse on the nearest free bed. “I will, soon as I get up I’ll head on over okay?

“Link if I wasn’t so devoted to the boss, I could just kiss you right now!”

“Please don’t.”

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End Notes:

Basing a lot of this on my 3 playthroughs of botw. And I played them chaotically, as well as just overall making some things up. I kinda want there to be a lot more people in the botw world, like stables have small villages of their own (tarrey town size at least).

 I have a whole dnd esc Au for this where most monsters have their own tribes etc. but lynels, Lizalfos, and maybe wizzrobes interact with humanoids and trade with them. Except for maybe wizzrobes, I feel like they’re more steal your shit and bargain it back, type people.

This issss planned to be very long like, there’s a whole courting arc I have in mind, If you’re here just for the porn, it’ll be marked.

Anyway, this will all probably be unedited and sloppy. It’s for fun and the chapter lengths will probably vary as well. Idk why but I like the thought of the monster appreciators hooking us best friends (or partners) and link is just there, rethinking his life choices. 

But again real talk I right this whenever my mind gets staticy so please excuse any grammar issues, the many run-on sentences, etc etc 👍

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Chapter 2: O-oh someone fucked a Lynel.

If there's one thing he loved about the snowy areas it was waking up to fresh snow in the morning or nights.

Breathing in that crisp air and starting his journey. Link rubs his cold cheeks, face a bit flushed.

But Chiba woke him up first thing and he will admit he was also wondering about this traveling lynel. The locals (at least the ones up) all mentioned how the lynel kept to themselves, and only came to buy directly from the farmer.

Makes him wonder if the lynel was checking out the area to maybe start up a new home. Shaking his head Link focused on climbing the hill and not sliding off. 

[thekats]

2AM thoughts

CW: suggestive content, mentions/discussion of SA/rape

I just saw (again) a post with that Lae'zel-Halsin banter that's like 'has he killed more or fucked more in his 350 year alive?' and he goes 'chimera has 3 heads but does it count as one creature?' Then Lae'zel says 'must have been a challenging kill' and he replies 'yes... kill' (sorry, my palm brushed the back button and the post was lost from view or I'd have done this as a reblog, but again it's 2am, I'd scrolled for a while until it popped up and I'll have forgotten by the time I get up again).

Now, I see three potential readings for this and I'm not saying any of them are more or less valid, just wanted to package them into wordsies:

A) Halsin is doing a funny. From banter with Shadowheart (for example) we see that he does have a funny bone. I'm thinking in particular the animal noises she offers to make to make him feel more at home in the shadow-cursed lands and him going 'you bleat well enough as is'. Yup, can absolutely be read as 100% serious, but doesn't really match his character. Think also the 'you're so big and strong and muscular and huge hunky-hunk-man for an elf' dialogue option in camp. His reply 'really?' is, for a split second, convincingly genuine, but he instantly reveals that 'ha-ha! Tricked you, of course I know I'm a big beefy himbo guy for an elf, we have fun.' Not to play the autism card, but this humour is very popular among autistics, I don't make the rules. Allistics frequently don't get it, especially because we use it with such earnestness that it can be tough to see the intention of a joke.

The chimera banter does fit that pattern.

B) He did fuck that chimera, he is a monsterfucker. Obviously, this is the favourite option for both Halsin-stans and Halsin-...crams... it's 2.19am, fuck off.

Him horny, him 'old', him horny and old, he fuck monsters. We don't know when he did it, how he did it, why he did it. Maybe he really was just horny and he put all of y'all's hear-me-outs to shame (I'm not a monsterfucker, personally, I can't even bring myself to fuck Halsin in bear form, so I don't have any hear-me-outs). Maybe there was something external at play. Maybe it's Maybelline(TM R C and such). Honestly, good for him. All we know for sure is that he checked in with that chimera to make sure it was all consensual beginning to end. Absolute king. I'd believe that a chimera would get the hots for him. He can get it.

3) He did have sexual intercourse with a chimera, but it wasn't consensual on his part. "But Kats," I hear you scream (I don't, humour me), "why would he be so chill about it then?!" The drow. He says himself in his Sharess' Caress afterglow dialogue that the way he speaks of the events now isn't necessarily representative of the severity of the events. Ffs he reports being raped, a sex slave for three years, and still 'some of it was done willingly'. My bro, my boo, son. N.O.! Just because it was "in their nature" as lolth-drow or some shit does not make it excusable! Just because you got a hard-on, a natural bodily reaction that has nothing to do with willingness or consent, does not mean you have to downplay what happened, even if that makes it easier in your own mind. Therapy. You, me and someone qualified. And Astarion. And Gale. And Derryth Bonecloak, honestly... NOW!

I would not be any more surprised than with the other two options if this were the tale behind that... story. Martel, I am running out of vocabulary here, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, again, I don't consider any of these more or less true/likely than each other. Perhaps there's even other options? Perhaps there's official info on it that I haven't come across yet bc I've had the game for 3 weeks and there is just so much content all of the time. Yeah, just wanted to lay down my 2 cents. Okay, nighty night!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Just shower thoughts... For a long time I've been confused about why Meyer wrote the Jacob/Renesmee imprint. Most of the weird shit that happens in Twilight I can justify as leaning into the monsterfucker/Phantom of the Opera angle or worldbuilding fails. But the baby soulmate thing?? But And Then There Were None kickstarted a wire in my head that transmigrated me into Stephenie Meyer's head during my shower.

I'm Meyer writing New Moon. I want to set the groundwork to break the love triangle in Edward's favor. I need Jacob out of the way, preferably dating someone else. But I don't want Jacob to seem like he loved Bella less, or like the kind of guy who would treat a woman like she's his second choice. Solution? I apply my weird concept of true love to the problem. Bang, imprinting. He loved Bella as much as he could but was destined for someone else! For now, Jacob is un-imprinted for now since I want the love triangle to be central to the Eclipse plot.

However, writing Eclipse I get stuck. Jacob is Bella's best friend. If he imprints on someone else, it means that he can't go with Bella on her immortal voyage of true love. She'll be sad. Unacceptable. Ok, I say. Jacob imprints on a vampire. Then he and Bella can stay friends, forever, as the new vampire (RenesmeeLite) will prove vampires can be good people.

BUT I still have a problem. What if some Jacob/Bella fans don't buy the new ship after all the drama in Eclipse? What if they (rightly) argue imprinting is thralldom and hate it? What if they (god forbid) make postcanon Jacob/Bella fanfic where the imprint breaks and the old ship re-sails? I need to make it clear that a) Edward/Bella are in unbreakable true love and b) Jacob/Bella's connection was sincere but ultimately platonic.

For a) marriage and sex are pretty big commitments. Escalate. The biggest commitment? A baby. Half-vampire baby can never die and thus never be forgotten. Renesmee will complete my Edward/Bella endgame. For b) ... I realize... I've written RenesmeeLite. Renesmee solves the Jacob/Bella friendship problem as now not only does Jacob have to like vampires, he has an excuse to join the Cullens and officially follow Bella around for the rest of her life! Also, Jacob's relationship with Bella is retconned to imply that his great love for her was only due to her similarity to his true soulmate/the call of fate. The Cullens and wolves complete the alliance arc begun in Eclipse, which they will no doubt use to someday take down the terrible Volturi and potentially become vampire royalty themselves. Ignoring the implications of that, it's a good day to be Bella. As for now, I edit Eclipse to add foreshadowing to Jacob's destiny... sorry Claire and Quil, you'll have to be sacrifices.

What do you think? Do you buy it?

And Then There Were None a Halloween Twilight special by myself and @therealvinelle that readers caught us out on while we were still anonymous.

It's a delightful theory the trouble is that's not really what we do here on this blog. This is a blog to divest ourselves of authorial intent or to try and peer into the mind of Meyer and ask "why?" For one thing, it keeps the blog consistent, for another I genuinely have no idea.

Meyer is utterly incomprehensible to me. Not only are we different people but... I mean, look at Edward. Look, there's your normal Phantom of the Opera bad boy tragic love interest type, and then there's Edward and the shit he says. And it's unironic, we're supposed to genuinely like him, she thinks he's a dream boat as he says, "I'll eat your babies."

How does one even comprehend such a person?

In this case though I'll go on a limb and say that given Meyer having doubled down on imprinting in the first place as well as Edward...

I think it was the plan to start with and perhaps even the reason imprinting in the series exists at all.

We see way too much foreshadowing in New Moon with imprinting immediately brought up with Sam and Emily, it is already a significant plot point and one Jacob finds himself concerned about when he realizes he doesn't imprint on Bella.

Already we had Chekov's Gun: Jacob hasn't imprinted which means that it will always be a loose end until he does. At some point in the series he will imprint and it will not be on Bella.

And given all that build up to Jacob wanting it to be Bella so badly, as well as the Claire/Quil subplot, and everyone else imprinting...

I think it was always going to be Renesmee. He was always doomed to be tied into the family and for Meyer this was always the ideal dream solution like where you're playing dolls and all the dolls marry all the other dolls and now they're a big happy family and everyone's related.

Adding to this, the love triangle was one of those hilarious love triangles where you know who the author's going to pick immediately. Twilight, Bella dates Edward. New Moon, Bella's very sad over Edward and considers Jacob for 0.02 seconds before dumping him because Edward's back. Eclipse, Jacob asks Bella to dump Edward and she says no the entire novel then marries Edward. Breaking Dawn, Bella marries Edward.

Jacob was never made a competitive option for Bella and it was always clear, the entire time, I'm sorry guys but it was hilariously clear she was going to pick Edward. Always.

Which meant that while Jacob needed a clean exit from the love triangle I... also don't think he was in the love triangle for Meyer. Sort of, yes, but I honestly think that's the weird set up that Jacob later quotes in canon of "Oh, Bella, I was totally into you because I was going to imprint on your vampire baby in the future. This makes so much sense."

... Does it Jacob? Does it?

I think Renesmee and Renesmee/Jacob was always the plan and everything else was just set up to get there.

(Worth noting, though I don't know too much about it, is Forever Dawn which was the book Meyer pitched after Twilight to her publishers which is essentially the plot of Breaking Dawn with a few tweaks.

It should be taken with a bit of a grain of salt as it was never published and I'm personally dubious of whatever copies people say they have floating about or what concepts were leaked, but nevertheless we seem to have a lot of the same stuff.

Bella still gets pregnant and marries Edward. Jacob still imprints on Renesmee. The Volturi still show up as the big bad. Victoria is still a major player (though this time takes on the role of Irina the nark).

This, of course, points to Renesmee/Jacob always being the endgame rather than the solution Meyer happened upon for the love triangle problem.)

But at the end of the day, I'm guessing too, and the best I can really do is shrug and say who knows with that one.

[norcumii]

Sunday way-beyond-six

To keep with today’s apparent theme, we’ve got the first, unfinished attempt at my Rex/Obi week entry. Well. Chapters 1 and 2 came first, then I tried to expand into details here, ended up drowning in said details and realizing it was WAY more than I could/should get into and would never finish in time ANYWAYS. I might come back to this one day, but I doubt anytime soon because I’ve got so many ideas from the bingo and never enough brains to work on ALL THE THINGS.

So! Without cleanup or any promises of coherency, some more Rex and Gargoyle!Obi-Wan!

*****

It was a roasting, humid summer evening when Rex discovered the guy he’d been hired to follow wasn’t cheating on his wife, but instead was a drug dealer.

The problem with drug dealers, as compared to adulterers, was that they tended to come with goons. At least these goons were walls of muscle that relied on intimidation, which didn’t mean much to someone who had to regularly endure roughhousing from a professional kickboxer who always played dirty.

Of course the not-really-an-adulterer had run off by the time Rex had taken down the two goons. He was trying to decide if it was worth calling in to the nearest cop shop in hopes assault and drug possession would stick or if he should chase down the target, again, when the skinny little asshole came flying out of the shadows. The unconscious asshole slumped down over his buddies with a groan, and Rex whipped around, gun finally pulled and leveled at the shadows where the body came from.

He did not need to get caught in the middle of some kind of turf dispute. “Come on out where I can see you!” Rex demanded, resettling his grip on the gun. He could see the outline of someone there, but nothing more, and they hesitated. “Don’t make me pull out the badge and make this official,” he bluffed. While Rex technically had a badge and associated up-to-date paperwork, ‘bail enforcement agent’ wasn’t ‘police’ and he had no actual authority.

The little alley stewed a moment long, then slowly the figure stepped out from the shadows. Rex’s jaw dropped a little, but at least the weapon didn’t waver.

Cody can never learn of this, he thought distantly, before clearing his throat. The figure had stopped once it was in decent light, head cocked and one brow raised. It was definitively not human, with blue skin, giant clawed feet, wings and horns. The kilt and thick leather belt were a disconcerting contrast, the reddish-blond mullet even moreso, and the neatly trimmed beard and mustache just flat out made Rex’s brain short-circuit.

On the one hand, everything from the pointed ears to clawed toes said ‘monster,’ but on the other hand so very much else just said ‘hot’ – Cody’s years of accusations about Rex being a monsterfucker aside, because his twin was an unmitigated asshole with no appreciation for creature features or general horror films.

“Er, hello?” Rex dared to ask. The other brow rose to match the first.

“Hello there.” It raised a hand, pointing a clawed talon at the gun. “I presume that’s a weapon of some kind – some sort of, what, hand-crossbow or the like?”

This was too surreal and could not be happening. “...sure, something like that,” Rex said, because what else could he do?

“It doesn’t look very effective. Is it?” The whatever-it-was looked genuinely curious, like it’d never run across a gun before.

“Very.”

“I see.” It nodded once, more to itself. “Well, then if you wouldn’t mind pointing it elsewhere, somewhere not at me, I would appreciate it.”

“That’s nice.” Rex had to struggle to not roll his eyes. “And if I do that, are you gonna –” Eat me – suck my – oh god, there’s no safe train of thought anywhere. “– harm me?”

“I’ve no intention of doing so,” the creature said, mild as could be. “Mind you,” it added almost as an afterthought, “I will defend myself or others if need be.”

Well color him shocked. “And I should just, what, take your word for it?”

“Hopefully so!” it declared, beaming.

“Yeah everyone says that. Guess how reliable that is.”

“Well if everyone says it – do I look like anyone you’ve ever met?”

That was possibly the most ridiculous thing in an already surreal, very weird night. “No.”

“There you go then.”

Rex could practically hear rebooting noises from his brain as that bit of logic mangling processed. “Do you normally play this many word games on people you’ve just met?”

The creature grinned, showing off impressive fangs there were absolutely not hot. “Only when they’re holding weapons on me.”

The creature had a point. It hadn’t done anything but banter so far – aside from helping Rex by keeping not-really-an-adulterer from getting away. Smart money said to hold the stalemate, but Rex had just a little too much faith in humanity – or whatever the next door neighbor was.

He lowered the gun, resetting the safety, and the creature’s posture eased for real. “I gotta deal with the cops,” he grumbled, “you probably want to get out of here before then.”

It...hesitated, then the wings settled down on its shoulders like some kind of cape. “I was actually hoping I might be able to get assistance from someone,” it said, earning a baffled look from Rex. It shrugged, an affable, helpless gesture that looked so out of place on something with so many pointy bits. “I’m a lost traveler looking for some useful information.”

“You’re. A tourist.” That both made absolute sense, and no sense whatsoever. Rex could see the way the creature’s eyes tightened, the flicker of a glance to the side – he’d dealt with enough multi-lingual folks to recognize someone doing a quick translation.

“Exactly!” it declared, beaming a beat behind. “I understand you’ve unfinished business here, but once that’s completed, perhaps we could talk? I’m happy to compensate you fairly for your time and the inconvenience.” It rolled something in its talons, flourishing some kind of silvery coin it had pulled from who-knew-where.

Rex hesitated, more from the weirdness than the cheapness. He glanced around and winced. “It’s gonna take anywhere up to like, three hours for me to deal with bureaucracy.”

“I can wait for a time, within reason. Shall we meet here again when you’ve completed your business?”

He was already shaking his head. “Not here.” He could not believe he was doing this. Rex was keenly aware of the level of stupidity – among other things – involved in arranging a meetup with the creature. “There’s a park, a few blocks that way. Meet me there later?”

It nodded, still smiling pleasantly. “That’s agreeable. I shall see you there – and consider this a down payment.” It flipped the coin at him, then lunged upwards. Rex caught the coin – way heavier than it looked – then stared as the creature dug into the brick and climbed up onto the roof.

The creature had left clawmarks. In solid fucking stone.

It was almost reassuring, because without proof, he’d be certain none of it was real.

*****

Obi-Wan glided above what felt like an endless city, grateful for the abundant breezes and warm updrafts from the leagues of smooth black stone roads. As overwhelming as this new place was, as terrifying as it had been to waken without warning in this new world of light and noise and an ever-present noxious stench – there was a majesty to it all. So many signs of abundance and foreign struggle for very different survival than he could imagine.

Terrifying, and wondrous, and he was keenly aware they needed help. A human who stood their ground, who talked with Obi-Wan rather than running or screaming – that was rare indeed. With luck, that might be the help they needed.

Obi-Wan kept a loose circuit around the building his human had gone to, grateful that the dark skin and light hair were distinctive. He emerged before the hour was up, walking with swift, discomforted strides to the nearby park. Obi-Wan waited until he’d settled onto a bench in a side corner before signaling to the rookery sibs that accompanied him, then dove down. He landed far away enough to walk into view, and it was strange to see the human relax for a breath before tensing at Obi-Wan’s presence.

“I was afraid I was gonna be stood up,” the human said with a wry grin. Obi-Wan hesitated, letting the words roll around in his brain. Padmé’s translation spell was blessing and miracle alike, but she’d warned that colloquialisms were liable to be...difficult.

He decided to guess based on context. “There was some kind of business exchange going on down the path,” he said, gesturing from the direction he hadn’t come from. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

A sour expression crossed his human’s face. “Good idea – not this late at night, not around here. It’s not exactly the best neighborhood.”

Interesting. “Then why suggest it as a meeting place?”

“Close by, safe enough, and presumably neutral territory.” The man gestured at the other end of the bench. “Have a seat if you’d like. You can call me Rex; what do I call you?”

He sat, trying to hide his delight – and relief – that this was a human who understood and presumably was accustomed to brokering information. “Obi-Wan.”

“Pleased to meet you.”

~end bit

[crescentmoonrider]

Shipping ask game: Reigen X Dimple or alternatively KakaObi

[shipping ask meme]

oh man, a choice between a Very Popular ship I don't really care about, or the ship that got me back into Naruto ?

yeah imma do both

-

EkuRei : Meh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Why don’t you ship it?

Honestly, I don't really know. They just don't do it for me like that. I like them as shitty friends, and it's not like I mind seeing this ship around, I just... don't care.

What would have made you like it?

Well that's a hard one, uhhh..... I mean, I guess it would've been funny to see Reigen react to Dimple's humanoid form. I think a part of why the fandom's take on this ship usually doesn't do it for me is that they keep on involving that poor Security Guy from Claw, when Dimple has a Grotesque Humanoid Form right here.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I'd probably enjoy it more if people weren't cowards and actually leaned into the monsterfucking aspect of this ship /o\

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I actually really enjoy their canon dynamic ! They have a grudging respect for each other, and they bonded over how much they each care (and refuse to admit they care) about Mob, and they just. Get each other.

And they're also really funny and sarcastic, and I always love me a good comedy duo.

Basically, platonic ekurei ? Hell yeah ! Romantic/sexual ekurei ? Eh..

-

KKOB : My Naruto OTP, Unfortunately

What made you ship it?

The fuckingng. Kakashi Gaiden. Like, I've said this before and I'll say it again, Kishimoto might have messed up a lot of things, but he did Not fuck around with the Gaiden, and I don't know if I can ever recover from the symbolism of Kakashi completing his signature technique by absorbing Obito's eye into himself, the very same way he will end up absorbing Obito's personality in the future.

Just. God.

Also later in the manga, the absolute Drama of the reveal of Obito being Alive and Evil and Kakashi's breakdown at seeing the guy he's idolized his whole life standing in front of him and calling him trash...

Look, I'm not joking when I say this reveal got me back into Naruto, I had actually jumped ship when Haku was brought back to life, but then I heard the Tobi-Obito Theory actually turned out to have been officially confirmed and I just. I had to see for myself.

Basically, I'm in it for the unhealthy codependency and the angst.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Uh. See above for the main points ? /o\

But uh, yeah, of course there's all I've already talked about, but also like. The physicality of their relationship ? Is incredible ? They literally share a pair of eye and can sometimes see from each other's point of view thanks to it.

The fight inside Kamui with the flashbacks to their old sparring was also just. When Obito grabs Kakashi's hand and uses it to complete the signs for his jutsu ? Gay As Fuck. I've never seen a more homoerotic fight scene, and I've read all of Naruto.

And of course emotionally they're a complete mess. You can't talk about the one without mentioning the other. They're barely their own person anymore, with how much they're mixed together, especially because Kakashi's way of coping with Obito's death was by just never allowing him to die.

But also Obito literally stalked him just 'cause, so y'know. They both have a part in becoming uh, to quote from NBC Hannibal, "blurred".

Dumbass gay ninjas can't live with the person they've become and so they try to lose themselves into an idealized past, failing horribly : the relationship.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I literally do not interact with the fandom, except when I post stuff for my AUs. And the last time I narutoposted was uhhhhhhh in 2020.

I guess one thing that was common back when I still looked at some of the fandom's postings was Rin either being outright hated and treated like a nuisance, or given a Badass Girl persona that didn't actually fit with her canon personality (which is Radical Anti-War Revolutionary Who Respects Human Life, btw), probably because a lot of folks felt like she was "in the way" of KKOB. Which is *checks notes* fucking stupid.

So anyway my unpopular opinion is that Rin loves her boys and supports them no matter what, and in any world KKOB get together and Rin is around, there's no way Rin doesn't remain the two's best friend the same way she's always been. She is a part of the deal. Not necessarily as part of an OT3, but always as part of the platonic codependent Mess that makes up these idiots.

...... bringing in a third character probably isn't what's supposed to happen in this question. But like I said, I barely know what's going on in the fandom these days, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[bard-llama]

Belated Start of Mini Kinktober Week!

So the @witcherkinktober​ provided the great prompts for this week and then I completely and absolutely forgot about it lol. So I don’t have finished fics for yesterday or today, but I will share a snip from each and if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll finish one for tomorrow!

So, my plan was to write 1 rorveth and 1 throne3 fill per day, but uh... that’s not seeming likely. So instead, have snips (more like my entire WiPs shhhh) from 2 throne3 fills + 1 rorveth fill under the cut!

10/3 - Collars | Gags | Hypnosis/Mind Control Warnings for homophobia-induced painful backstory and chronic pain

Unfortunately, no porn here, because I got too caught up in the explanation of how they got here again 😭😭😭 But Reynard got drugged with a truth/babbling potion. That counts as mind control, right? 😅

If there was one thing everyone knew about General Reynard Odo, it was that he kept his thoughts to himself and carefully chose every word he said.

Which is why Gascon knew immediately that something was wrong, because Reynard was surrounded by soldiers and waving his hands in a surprisingly uncoordinated way and, most significantly, openly shittalking people.

“Fuckin’ Reggie,” Reynard slurred, which set off about a billion alarm bells in Gascon’s head, because what the fuck!? First off, Reynard didn’t swear. Certainly not in front of his soldiers. He was meticulous about that kind of thing. Propriety mattered to Reynard and being proper in front of his men even moreso.

Secondly, nicknames and Reynard did not mix. Well, technically, Gascon was always giving Reynard new insultingly affectionate nicknames, but Reynard himself? Gascon had never heard Reynard shorten a name ever. Even the really long ones! Even the ones that everyone else used! Hell, there was one of Meve’s guards who even she called by their nickname. But Reynard? Never. It was always Lieutenant Razzah Ozzell, never Razzell like the rest of them.

Thirdly, who the fuck was Reggie?

“He was a right prick,” Reynard continued, snorting at his own words. “Didn’t know a damn thing about the military. I mean, he was always getting people’s ranks wrong, and who’s gonna correct him? He’s the fucking king!”

Gascon’s face blanched. Reggie as in King Reginald as in Meve’s late husband?

Yeah, he needed to make sure Reynard stopped speaking immediately. Whatever was wrong with him, clearly the General’s extensive control could not be relied upon at the moment, so Gascon would just have to have enough control for the two of them.

Nodding to himself, he wove his way expertly through tangles of soldiers and slipped his arm around Reynard’s, pulling the General up and pushing him towards the edge of camp. The soldiers groaned in protest, but Gascon ignored them, more concerned with the way Reynard was both still talking and did not seem at all bothered by Gascon’s grasp on his arm.

Only once they were a decent distance from camp did Gascon let go and whirl around to demand what the fuck was going on.

“What the fuck, Reynard?” he hissed. “What is wrong with you!? Why would you openly shit talk the King!?”

Reynard’s pupils were wide as the General snorted, “I didn’t even share the worst shit!”

“And it should probably stay that way,” Gascon spoke over him. “Seriously, what is wrong with you!?”

Tilting his head, Reynard leaned too far to the right and flailed for balance. Gascon was officially unnerved. Where the hell was the close mouthed and tight-lipped General Odo?

“I feel fine,” Reynard shrugged. “I don’t even hurt!”

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re probably high as a kite on something. What did you eat? Drink?”

“Mmm, jus’ the ale. They’re – hic – they’re always inviting me, you know. To drink with them.”

“Yeah,” Gascon said uncertainly, brow furrowing, “you always say no.”

Reynard sighed, slumping as though all his energy had abandoned him. “Yeah,” he agreed. “They already have to put up with me all day. ‘M not gonna be so selfish as to ruin everyone’s time.” His lips twitched, “I’m Lyria and Rivia’s profesh – profess – pro-fesh-shen-al wet blanket, remember?”

Gascon winced. He hadn’t realized that jab had stayed with Reynard like this, but even worse was that Reynard seemed to think it was true.

“I was being an asshole,” Gascon protested. “You’re not a wet blanket. You’re – I mean, you’re very stoic and uptight and stuff, but like, that’s not always a bad thing! If you want to drink with your soldiers, you should!”

The laughter that fell from Reynard’s lips was haunting. “No one truly wants me there. It’s better to keep from intruding.”

Something about that made Gascon’s heart hurt, but he swallowed hard, refocusing. “Reynard, there must’ve been something in the ale you drank, ‘cause you may feel fine, but you are definitely not. Honestly, when you sober up, you’re probably gonna hate that you told me any of this.”

Reynard hummed, nodding in small movements. “Hate being sober. Hurts too much.”

Gascon blinked. “Wait, really? But you practically never have more than a single ale!”

“Of courshe,” Reynard wiggled his jaw like that would make his lips form the right shapes. “I have a resp – responc – re – ah, fuck it. Duty. I have a duty to Her Majesty.”

“Yeah, but – wait, why does it hurt?”

Snorting again, Reynard shrugged. “It always does. Though, not right now. Like, I can do this!” He shrugged his shoulders once more, seemingly engrossed in the miraculousness of basic movement.

“Can you… not usually shrug?” Gascon tilted his head, considering that. Had he ever actually seen Reynard shrug?

Reynard shook his head emphatically enough to make himself stumble for balance again. “Pulls on my back.”

Gascon’s brow furrowed. “Your… back? I don’t remember you having any particular back injury?”

Snorting through his nose, Reynard hummed. “Wasn’t an injury in battle. Nothing so honorable by far.”

More confused than ever, Gascon opened his mouth to say something, but Reynard didn’t seem to notice and talked over him instead.

“Fuckin’ Reggie,” Reynard muttered again, digging the toe of his boot into the ground.

“Reginald… hurt you?” Gascon asked cautiously. Usually Reynard was the first to insist that no one speak out against their rulers, past or present.

My vague thoughts were that somehow Reynard ends up dirty talking to Gascon on accident ‘cause he can’t shut up, so Gascon gags him? Aaaaand... idk how the collar comes in, but I like making life difficult for myself, so I wanna try to include all 3 prompts.

(throne3) 10/4 - Overstimulation | Monsters | Temperature Play Warnings for monsterfucking, rough sex, and serious size kink

“Troll want mate!” the massive rock troll declared.

Having been sent out scouting near the base of the mountain, General Reynard Odo found himself regretting having chosen to explore this cave. 

“Reynard,” he said loudly, pressing a hand to his chest, “wants to leave.”

“No leave!” One humongous fist smashed into the ground far too close to Reynard for comfort. “Want find mate!”

“You… want help finding a mate?” Reynard repeated uncertainly. Where the hell was he supposed to find a mate for a troll!?

The troll nodded emphatically with a sound like rocks scrapping together. “Us need mate! ReyRey help find!”

Reynard winced at the atrocious nickname, then frowned. What did the troll mean ‘us’?

As he watched, the rock formations behind the troll materialized into more trolls. A lot more trolls.

“Uh,” he started, “why do you think I can find you a mate?”

“Humie no come here before!” the first troll he’d spoken to said cheerily. “You be special!”

Well. That was encouraging. “Where would I find you a mate?”

“If we knew, we no ask!” Another troll huffed. “Is season! Must mate! But where mate?”

His frown deepened. “So you don’t need a mate as in a life-partner, but more… uh, for one-time use, so to speak?”

The trolls hummed and groaned, looking at each other in confusion. “What humie mean?”

“Uh… I guess that you,” he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “you need to physically mate with someone. Urgently. Yes?”

“Urgent, urgent, yes!” One troll waved its leg up and down and Reynard’s brow furrowed in confusion. Except then the troll wrapped its hand around the leg and Reynard realized that it wasn’t a leg at all. “Need mate soon!” the troll said, stroking the massive cock that hung between its legs.

“I don’t know where to find you a mate,” Reynard said. “And I have urgent business I must conduct for my queen–”

The first troll he’d talked to cut him off with a low grunt, hands punching into the ground. “Need mate now!”

“ReyRey,” another troll – he really couldn’t tell them apart beyond size, but this one was a little smaller than the others, and troll dicks must have been retractible, because this one didn’t have a huge limb hanging between its legs. But there was the start of something peeking out where the troll’s underbelly met its legs.

Reynard found himself oddly entranced, watching the troll’s cock slowly protrude and grow larger and larger until it was around the length and width of Reynard’s entire forearm. If these things were proportional to the troll’s size, then this was the smallest one.

He swallowed, unsure why his mouth was watering, but he still couldn’t look away and the smaller troll grinned.

“ReyRey want mate?” it offered. 

Choking, Reynard flushed scarlet and shook his head. “I – no! We aren’t – aren’t compatible. You’d break me!”

Why did thinking that send a shiver of interest down his spine. These were trolls! He was absolutely not mating with trolls!

Except when he finally managed to look away from the smaller troll’s cock, his eyes got stuck on the one beside it, their cock slightly bigger than the other troll’s. 

“ReyRey want be broken,” the smaller troll said confidently. “ReyRey get hard like troll!” So saying, the troll reached out and poked Reynard’s pelvis where, to his great shame, his cock was getting hard.

“I–” he fumbled for words. Surely this was not going to happen. It couldn’t happen! What would his men think of him, getting railed by a rock troll!? By several rock trolls!?

It was ridiculous that this question should even be raised! Of course he wasn’t going to let himself get fucked by a bunch of trolls. He couldn’t!

So why did he kind of want to? Why was he thinking about what it would feel like, getting stretched so wide. And deep! These trolls were huge, and that should make him scared, but instead, he was… kind of getting excited.

Gods, what was wrong with him? He was – he was genuinely considering mating with a troll! That was most definitely not normal or in any way appropriate.

But… who would know? He’d only left camp about half an hour ago, so they wouldn’t expect him back for several hours yet. And it wasn’t as if he would ever tell anyone just what he was contemplating doing. So really, who would ever find out? 

And it had been so long since Reynard had last been fucked. He would – he would have to prepare himself thoroughly before even considering taking the trolls, but…

He really actually wanted to do this.

Biting his lip and shifting his weight, Reynard looked around the cavern. “What,” his voice cracked and he coughed, trying again, “what exactly would it mean? To – to be your mate?”

The trolls let out excited hums and rumbles and the smaller troll grinned at him. “ReyRey look good on cock,” it said brightly. “We mate. Means ReyRey takes pearls.”

“Pearls?” his brow furrowed. Was that a euphemism for ejaculate?

“Lil trolls,” the troll nodded, “pearls. ReyRey say yes?”

“I…” Reynard swallowed and for once in his life, let himself do the improper thing. “I’ll need stretching first.”

“Trolls help!” the smaller one said enthusiastically. “ReyRey take off metal shell? No good for mating.”

“Right,” he cleared his throat, and even though part of his mind was screaming in horror, he actually did start to pick at the buckles on his armor. “Uh. We’re gonna need something slick. To – to open me up,” he blushed. 

“We slick ReyRey!” one troll proclaimed loudly and as soon as Reynard’s armor was removed, they grabbed him, manhandling him with an ease that made his heart beat fast. Then, before he really knew what was happening, they bent him in half and something long and wet was prodding at his ass as stone-encrusted fingers held him open.

He yelped in surprise – and then moaned as the troll’s tongue pushed into him with no warning, thrusting deep and wiggling inside him the way nothing ever had before. “Oh, fuck,” he gasped, gripping his own ankles tightly. He hadn’t even realized he could bend down so far, but with the trolls holding him, it was somehow easier than anything to just let himself go and let them have what they wanted of him.

“Me turn!” another troll grumbled and Reynard suddenly found himself empty and moving, until a different tongue thrust deep into him, fucking him rapidly.

He couldn’t help his whine, cock already very interested. And folded in half and angled down like he was, when his cock leaked, it dripped down onto his face in a way that made him feel both embarrassed and horrifically turned on. 

“Oh fuck, please!” he heard himself beg before he’d consciously decided to.

“Good humie,” a troll praised before something larger prodded at his hole next to the tongue rocking into him. “ReyRey take troll like meant for it.”

Reynard shuddered, the praise making his face warm as it flushed red.

Should I tell you where the story is going next? ‘cause it decided to get long, dammit, so who knows when I’ll finish it. So I guess if you don’t wanna know, then spoiler warning Additional warnings for breeding kink, oviposition, extreme oversensitivity, and extremely bad attempts at acting casual

Okay, so this was supposed to be some basic monsterfucking, but instead, romance had to happen lmao. So Reynard gets fucked by troll after troll and he discovers that unlike his assumption, “pearls” was not a euphemism, but literally trolls laying ‘eggs’. Each one gives him about two dozen pearls, so he’s huge and hella sensitive and just kinda losing his mind. But that kinda fucking takes time, which means Meve and Gascon are worrying over where their crush general is. They’re not together yet in this, but I think all three of them kinda recognize that, were the world different, they could have something special together.

Anyway, Meve and Gascon go searching for him and find him in the cave getting fucked by trolls. And they’re about ready to go charging in and cutting off heads of all sorts when Reynard begs for more. So then they’re confused and far too intrigued and they watch Reynard take another twenty pearls and he moans orgasmically and unlike Reynard, Gascon is not known for his self-control. So he darts out and gets his mouth on Reynard’s cock, making Reynard shout. Then Meve comes out and Reynard is freaking the fuck out and the trolls have all kinda frozen (and no, no one is distracted by the way cum drips out of his stretched out hole) and then Meve kneels and pets through Reynard’s sweaty hair and pulls him up to pillow his head in her lap. and Reynard is very confused, but like, weirdly, they seem to not find this as suuuuuper weird as it was and seemed to even like it.

So the trolls all finish with their mate while Meve pets his hair and Gascon explores his rounded belly and his cock. When everything is done, Gascon and Meve work on cleaning Reynard out - which is when they discover that the pearls can’t be ‘laid’ yet. They need to incubate for a couple of days, and obviously they can’t just leave Reynard with the trolls who didn’t realize that that sort of thing should be mentioned beforehand. So they decide they’ll take Reynard back to camp and hide him away for several days, giving the men a chance to take leave in the area. 

Except Reynard’s armor can’t fit him anymore, so Meve covers him in her cape and Gascon carries the armor (he thinks he got the shit end of the deal here) and Reynard attempts to stumble back to camp when he’s filled with like 700 pearls. But he can’t really walk and every movement nudges the pearls inside him and he’s ridiculously sensitive and he would be horrified at being half-carried into camp by his queen while wearing only her cape and stuffed full of fucking troll eggs, but tbh he can’t think much beyond feels so good and oh god, do not come, do not make a noise! Fortunately, Meve and Gascon are more than aware of how much it would bother Reynard, so Gascon creates a distraction while Meve sneaks Reynard into her tent. 

When Reynard realizes he’s in his queen’s bed, he tries to jolt upright - except he really can’t move much and his attempt just sents pleasure sizzling through his veins. So of course Meve, being Meve, decides she wants to see him mindless with pleasure again. So she kisses him and presses against his belly and explores his cock. By the time Gascon arrives, Reynard is already halfway to another orgasm (dry by this point, though he might’ve recovered a bit since the trolls) and Gascon is absolutely delighted to join in. 

So basically, they spend a couple of days making up ridiculous excuses that none of their men believe about why they quite suddenly have leave time on their urgent march to free Lyria and, more importantly, driving Reynard out of his mind. Then, after the pearls have incubated long enough, they bring Reynard back to the cave with the trolls and hold him and soothe him as he ‘lays’ the pearls, shuddering and moaning with every twitch of a muscle.

And then the throne3 talk lmao. They get together properly and give Reynard some much needed aftercare, ‘cause dude took 700 fucking pearls!

(Also, the men definitely go wild with rumors as to what happened and why Meve and Gascon and Reynard remain shut in the queen’s tent. Some of them are even partially right, but I don’t think anyone calls the troll bit lmao)

(rorveth) 10/4 - Overstimulation | Monsters | Temperature Play Warnings: implied desire for a noncon gangbang, but Roche shuts that shit down quick and between Iorveth/Roche, there is enthusiastic consent 

I actually started this one for the Rare Pair Bingo, but I still haven’t finished it 😭 But it works pretty well with the prompts. Also, inspired by this art. 

I cannot find the article/study, so it’s probably bullshit, BUT the ongoing joke that I will use to death is “arousal smells like candied watermelon”

When Vernon Roche was a child, his mother used to tell him tales of the majestic creatures of the ocean. Gain one’s favour, it was said, and they would do anything for you.

Of course, then Roche actually went to sea and it turned out, the only creatures around were fish or monsters, not the fabled legends his mother had spoken of.

Or so he thought. After all, everyone knew that monsters were mindless, driven purely by instinct like any beast. Right?

Roche had always thought sirens were just another category of beast, but now… now he was starting to wonder. Because the creature they’d accidentally caught in their net was anything but a beast.

It looked like one – its skin was green and blue, and luminescent in a way that was wholly unnatural. Its torso was shaped like a man, but large bat-like wings protruded from its back and instead of legs, its bottom half had fins to swim through the ocean. But its face…

The skin may have been a lovely blue-green and its eyes were unlike any human’s Roche had ever seen, but they looked at him with intelligence, hatred and fury exuding from the creature’s snarl like they would from any other man’s.

It was… actually kind of beautiful, except for the part where it might try to slaughter his men and his crew. It squirmed, trying to free itself from the net before they could haul it onto the deck, but its fins and wings were tangled in the rope and there was no way it could break free.

“Heave!” he ordered his crew and with one last back-breaking haul, the creature sprawled onto the deck of the ship, net wrapped around it as effective as any trap. 

There was a moment of relative silence as the crew stared at the creature and the creature snarled back at them. Then Thirteen, the lookout who’d spotted something worth throwing their nets out for, stepped closer and the creature lashed out, long talons on the end of its fingers shining in the sun.

“Whoa,” Thirteen reeled back. “Jeez, was just trying to help. Can it talk, you think?”

“It,” the creature growled, voice reverberating oddly across the deck, “is right here and if you do not free me, I will kill each and every one of you.”

Roche and his crew frowned down at the creature and it glared right back.

“What even are you?” Roche eventually asked when their stare off was getting them nowhere and some of the men had started shifting uncomfortably.

It scoffed, “I’m a siren. Obviously. What kind of sailor doesn’t recognize a siren!?”

The creature squirmed around to face him, its finned pelvis pressing against the wooden planks in a way that was suddenly drawing Roche’s attention. It was almost as if… did he smell something sweet? Like candied fruit, almost, and he took a deeper breath, inhaling the scent. Yeah, it was definitely like candied fruit. And it appeared to be coming from the self-proclaimed siren.

Weren’t sirens the legendary creatures that could ensorcel men and send them to their deaths?

“Stop that,” Roche snapped and the creature blinked up at him in surprise. 

Around them, Roche’s crew was growing restless, clearly smelling the same delicious scent that he was – and wanting more of it.

“Whatever you’re exuding, stop,” Roche ordered. “Seriously, unless you want this to end with a whole lotta humans vying for one siren, you need to stop.”

The siren ground sharp teeth together, lips pulled back in a snarl. “I can’t,” it grunted and Roche blinked.

“Why the hell not?”

The siren shot him a look, but it was quickly distracted by assessing the crew around them. Several of the men had bulges in the fronts of their trousers and Roche could admit, he was feeling oddly horny, but it was nothing he couldn’t control.

The same, apparently, could not be said of his sailors, because one man – Roche totally hadn’t forgotten his name, but if he had, it would be totally understandable, as the man had only been with them for 3 weeks so far – stepped forward, towards the creature, who snarled and growled and bared its teeth and raised its claws, but who was also, Roche noticed, unable to move terribly much, not with the net tangled around its wings and fins and it not having legs.

“Cap’n,” the new guy said, “I’ve – I’ve heard that hauls like this sometimes get shared with the crew. Could we–?”

Roche saw the creature freeze at the question and something sour built in his chest.

“No,” he snapped. “Get back to work!”

“But what about–?” Thirteen asked, now keeping his distance from the siren.

“I’ll take care of it,” Roche decided. If it was doing something to make his crew horny and it couldn’t stop, then Roche needed it to not be out in the open, distracting his crew and making them far too likely to do something unforgivable.

There were a few huffs and laughs. “Enjoy, Boss,” Fenn muttered, returning to swabbing the deck. The others dispersed shortly thereafter, though they were definitely still distracted, glancing over at the creature.

“Can we–” the new guy started, “can we watch?”

Roche blinked. “Watch… what? Just – get back to work,” he shook his head, pulling his knife and beginning to cut through one of their best nets. It was snarled beyond repair, so they would need to weave a new one anyway.

The siren growled at him as he approached, but he felt oddly entirely unafraid. This creature was dangerous, certainly, but the way it was posturing hid the way that it was entirely helpless. As long as Roche was actually helping, he was pretty sure the creature wouldn’t attack him.

“What, you want to stay tangled?” he asked rhetorically, trying to lighten the mood. 

The siren narrowed its eyes, watching him come closer and closer to the knots around the siren’s left wing.

“What do you want?” the siren demanded.

“Well, let’s start with keeping you from distracting the crew from their duties,” he let his voice carry across the deck and more than a few people looked away guiltily. “Uh, I guess you don’t exactly have a lot of options to walk. Can I – uh – carry you? Just into the captain’s cabin where we can talk and whatever it is you’re doing that makes everyone,” he waved his hands in demonstration, trying to say ‘really fucking horny’ without saying it, “if you can’t turn it off, then let’s start with getting you away from the crew, huh?”

The siren frowned at him, head tilted to the side. But when he motioned to pick the creature up, it nodded, though very clearly reluctantly.

Roche lifted the siren with one hand under its lower body fin and one around its back below the wings. As he rose, most of the netting that hand tangled around the siren fell away, but not quite all of it. He’d have to take care of that, but first–

“Back to work!” he ordered and more than half of the crew jumped, looking away quickly and pretending to be busy.

He shook his head, carrying the siren into the captain’s quarters and setting it on the bed. Then he withdrew, very deliberately stepping away, even though that smell was incredible and made him want to–

Well, it didn’t matter what he wanted, because he was not going to let his ship become the kind of place where ‘hauls got passed around’.

“So, uh… do you have a name?” he asked belatedly. It was probably kind of offensive to keep calling it ‘it’ in his head. 

The siren stared at him for a long minute, then its head dipped in a nod. “I am called Iorveth.”

“Vernon Roche,” he introduced himself. “I’m the captain of this ship. Um. No offense, but I’ve sailed these waters for decades and I’ve never caught anything like – well, like you before. How did you end up caught in our net?”

The creature – Iorveth – huffed in irritation. “I was distracted,” it – he – said. “I’m – the reason I can’t make it stop,” Iorveth hesitated, looking at Roche and biting his lower lip.

“What?”

“I’m – um, I don’t think humans deal with this, but I’m – I’m in heat,” the siren’s cheeks flushed green as Roche watched and he found himself oddly fascinated.

“Uh… okay. So… how does that lead to getting caught in a net? Shouldn’t you be – I dunno, enticing lovers to, uh… deal with it?”

“I was… avoiding potential ‘lovers’ when your net tangled with my wings,” Iorveth admitted, still looking at him with eyes that blazed. 

“Oh,” Roche blinked. “Well, that’s unfortunate. Uh… should I just like… let you go find someone to – uh, to mate with or whatever?”

“You would let me leave?” Iorveth asked, surprise clear in his voice and on his face.

“I… yes? Why? What am I supposed to do with a siren?”

Iorveth tilted his head again, frowning at Roche. “Your crew had an idea about that.”

Roche blanched. “That would be entirely inappropriate!”

The corner of Iorveth’s lips ticked up. “I’ve heard tales of other sirens caught by humans. Many would disagree with you.”

“Well, fuck them,” Roche growled, suddenly infuriated. “My ship is not somewhere things like that are acceptable!”

“Hmm,” Iorveth hummed. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course!” It was possible a hint of offense leaked into his tone, but really. “You’re clearly an intelligent creature. Your refusal should be respected, no matter by what species.”

Iorveth’s smile grew. “What makes you think I’ve refused?”

Roche blinked at him, taken entirely off guard. “What?”

“Well, technically, you haven’t made an offer for me to refuse. But are you so sure that’s what I’d say?”

“I… yes?”

Iorveth licked his lips, leaning back on the bed and running his hands down his body until he reached an area just below where his hips would be if he were a human. The scales were darker there and it took Roche a moment to realize that that was because there was an opening there. A wet opening.

Mouth suddenly watering, Roche licked his lips, wondering what Iorveth would taste like. But he didn’t move, even as Iorveth dipped the tips of his own fingers into the slit. Then Iorveth hooked both pointer fingers inside the slit and pulled it open, making Roche gasp as the dark cavern inside was exposed to view.

“Don’t you want me?” Iorveth asked softly, smirk confident and coy. “Don’t you want to fuck me?”

“I…” Roche swallowed hard, staring at that slit. “Why… you’re asking me to mate with you?”

“I’m asking you to fill me and fuck me through my heat,” Iorveth murmured, removing one hand and bringing it to his lips.

When Iorveth’s tongue flicked out to lick his finger, Roche couldn’t help the punched out moan that escaped him.

“Why?”

Iorveth smiled. “Because you let it be my choice.”

“That’s just basic decency!” Roche argued, but he did take a step closer. Then another. “You’re sure you want–?”

“I’ve never had a human before,” Iorveth said, half-lidded gaze locked with his. “Don’t you want to play with the prize you’ve captured?”

Roche gulped. “I – you – is that what you want? To be – to be treated like stolen treasure?”

Iorveth’s eyes lit up. “Yes,” the siren breathed, “steal me. Take me.”

Stepping up to the edge of the bed, Roche looked Iorveth over for any sign that this wasn’t truly what he wanted. 

Iorveth rewarded his scrutiny by dipping his fingers into that slit again, then holding them out. “Have a taste,” Iorveth invited and Roche was lost, leaning forward to wrap his mouth around those fingers, tongue eager to taste everything he could.

He moaned as Iorveth’s flavor spread across his tongue. If he’d thought about it, he might have expected Iorveth to taste briney from the sea. But instead, his tastebuds quivered with delight because Iorveth was slightly salty and slightly sweet and slightly something else altogether on his tongue and he immediately wanted more.

“You’re sure?” he asked one last time, missing Iorveth’s cool fingers as soon as they moved away.

Iorveth smiled, touching his face lightly. “Fuck me, Vernon Roche.”

Roche couldn’t help his moan, but while Iorveth probably expected Roche to pull out his cock and go for it, there was something Roche needed first. 

He licked his lips, crawling up the bed until he was hovering over Iorveth’s lower body. Then he leaned forward and swiped his tongue along that wet opening, enjoying the way Iorveth gasped sharply.

He moaned again, tongue delving into that opening like he was a starving man and Iorveth was a royal buffet. Iorveth’s taste and scent overwhelmed him and Iorveth knocked off his hat, tangling fingers in his hair and pulling him closer.

After a while of that, Iorveth’s muscles started twitching, close to the edge, and Roche thrust his tongue as deep as it could go.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Iorveth began to swear, slipping into another language as his hips rocked up into Roche’s face. Roche devoured him, licking and sucking and generally dedicating himself to thoroughly exploring Iorveth’s opening.

“Gods, your cunt is delicious,” Roche groaned, lips moving across the slit in Iorveth’s scales.

“It’s not a cunt,” Iorveth said. “It’s a – it’s – oh fuck,” Iorveth gasped, body arching and twitching as Roche’s face was soaked. 

Roche did not stop the attention he was paying to Iorveth’s not-cunt, continuing to lick and suck and devour Iorveth.

Iorveth clung to his head, hands clutching desperately at his hair as the siren’s hips continued to buck and overstimulated whimpers filled the air.

Still, Roche did not stop and Iorveth cried out in that other language as he came for a second time, far too close to the first to not be painful.

And again, Roche did not stop.

Iorveth’s crying was agonized, but his hands were still tangled in Roche’s hair, holding Roche against him.

“How many more can you give me?” Roche asked, lips moving against Iorveth’s slit.

“Nnnh,” Iorveth arched, “f-fuck me, dammit!”

Roche smirked, lips curling up against Iorveth’s scales. “Is that not what I’m doing?”

Iorveth let out a strangled sound, fingers tightening in Roche’s hair.

“Unnh,” Iorveth gasped desperately. “Your cock! Fuck me with your cock, gods dammit, or I’ll–”

Roche pulled away, still smirking, and the noise Iorveth made was unhinged. 

“Vernon,” Iorveth growled, and Roche just grinned, kneeling up and unbuckling his belt. He stripped his shirt off with minimal ceremony, then reached for the waistband of his trousers, which were mostly being held up by the very hard cock inside them.

Iorveth licked his lips, a quick flash of tongue, and Roche swallowed hard, debating if getting his boots off was worth moving away from Iorveth.

Meeting his gaze squarely, Iorveth sent him a hot look. “Fuck me, Vernon.”

Roche moaned, deciding that nothing mattered except giving Iorveth his cock, even if that meant his trousers tangled around his boots. He gripped the base of his cock, teasing it around Iorveth’s slit until the siren snarled again.

“Vernon!”

Tilting his head, Roche smiled. “I think you can ask nicely, can’t you?”

Iorveth’s glare was impressive, but when your second glared at men as if they should apologize for existing, you became rather impervious to such intimidation tactics.

Plus, Iorveth wasn’t as scary as Ves. Nothing was as scary as Ves.

“Gods just – fuck me!”

Clicking his tongue, Roche ignored his own urgent need. “That wasn’t very nice now was it?”

Obviously this is just an excuse to explore nonhuman genitalia lmao, but my vague plan was that Iorveth begs, Roche finally fucks him, and fucks him through like 3 more orgasms and he’s crying and hoarse from screaming, but he needs Roche to come in him and Roche has been holding off to give him so much pleasure and he wants to make Roche feel good too.

Then they pass out from too much sex lmao

[deadlyglacier]

20 Questions tag~

I was tagged by @mythicamagic thank you senpai~<3

How many works do you have on AO3?

40 right now, plus 1 that is still hidden because of the SOFA Exchange event.  (I’m still a lil fish.)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

486,920!  That’s so amazing to me!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairytale (18)

FullMetal Alchemist (18)

Mass Effect Trilogy (3)

Let’s Play (Webtoon) (1)

Kingdom Hearts (1) But I hope to write for many more fandoms in the future!  I have ideas for fics for Castlevania, Skyrim, Fallout 4, Last of Us Part II, and more!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

#1.  Stardust FemShep/Garrus, Mass Effect Trilogy, Rated Explicit. A retelling of the Shepard/Vakarian love story, with lots (and LOTS) of sexiness, from Garrus' point of view. Starts from before the Omega-4 and will end sometime after the end of ME3. Trying to stay as true to the game as possible, while adding some things happening off camera and a new ending.

#2.  Flamingo Sess/Kag, Inuyasha, Rated Explicit Kagome's method of beating the summer heat attracts a certain demon lord...

#3.  Hawk Sess/Kag, Inuyasha, Rated Explicit Kagome and Sesshomaru discover they have a mutual attraction for each other after a battle and a slight comedic incident brings them together. At first their relationship seems entirely sexual, but eventually evolves into something real. What will this romance mean for Naraku? Or even the future?  *TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 6! MAJOR VIOLENCE AND TRAGEDY* Very, very loosely based on "A Mere Digression" by elle6778

#4.  Daisy Sam/Charles, Let’s Play, Rated Mature Sam wakes up somewhere unfamiliar with a splitting headache with no memory of the night before. Takes place right after the S2 finale.  First chapter was my prediction for what would happen next, and then three other “wishful thinking” chapters happened, lol.

#5.  Chemistry Ed/Winry, FullMetal Alchemist, Rated Mature A look at how the relationship between Ed and Winry developed after Brotherhood ended.  Cute, sweet, funny, and hot (eventually—y'all that know me know I gotta have some NSFW in there).

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to respond to everyone, especially when a fic of mine has just been posted, but sometimes I just forget.  If I haven’t responded to your comment, please know it’s just because I’m a big dumb and forgot!  I love getting comments, and I reread them all the time!  I just feel like there’s a time limit to when I can respond to them--if I let too much go by, it’s awkward if I reply.  Gah, but that’s just me getting in my own head, I guess.  I’ll do better!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oof, definitely Psychology, a fic I wrote for RoyEdOTPoly this year.  The prompt I got was dark, and I didn’t see any way around an angsty ending.  Read at your own risk!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Well, aside from the last fic, I try to write happy endings for all my fics!  But, if I have to name names, I’m torn between Zoology (another FullMetal Alchemist fic, RoyEd, for RoyEdOTPoly this year) and Stardust (my Mass Effect fic, which is long, but so worth it, in my opinion).  Both are very fluffy in the end!

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Argh...  I don’t really like crossovers, to be honest.  I actively avoid them when looking for fics to read.  But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought of writing them myself.  (I’m a total hypocrite, I know.)  I had an idea for an Inuyasha x The Sims fic, years ago, that I never did anything with.  The premise was basically Inuyasha and Kagome would get trapped in the game somehow (via the jewel or magic or something), and they’d be controlled by Souta, Kagome’s friends, Hojo--all sorts of different people who think the fact that Kagome and Inuyasha are in the game is just some kind of silly mod.  I probably won’t write it, so if anyone is interested in that crazy idea, have at it!  You have my blessing. <3 I also have a crazy crossover idea for what I call an “Ultimate OT3″ of mine that I’ve mentioned to my friends, but I haven’t actually written down yet:  Sesshomaru/Alucard/Sebastian Michaelis.  So be on the lookout for that!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I wouldn’t call it “hate” so much as “mansplaining,” but I have gotten a couple of comments that made my eyebrow twitch on Stardust--both on AO3 and FFN.  Just dudes (and I’m fairly certain they were dudes, just from their tone) trying to explain why a certain plot twist wouldn’t work, or tell me how to save Sidonis in the actual game (which I already knew, that person just didn’t read what I wrote). I’ve also gotten a comment on one of my more controversial fics, Hippology, on FFN, where the person asked me if I thought my summary was K-Rated (which, admittedly, it does need to be for the site, and mine wasn’t--because of a single word).  I changed it and messaged them saying it was fixed.  Going to that commenter’s profile, however, proved to be fairly enlightening...  They’re nuts.  They have another profile, too.  Read at your own risk.  Yikes. There’s also a team of people on FFN who make it their life’s mission to report stories with rule violations.  I’ve gotten a comment from one of them as well.  These people are not mods, they just like to pretend they are--one of them even made their name look official!  “CU Administration,” gtfo dude. I also recently got one of my fics removed from FFN.  It wasn’t even one of my sexiest ones!  They put me in timeout for 48 hours, and when I was finally able to publish something new on the site again, I posted Hippology (my centaur smut), and it’s still up as I type this.  (Wonder how long it’ll take them to notice?)  And since the fic that got taken down was a SessKag fic, I’m thinking it might have been a petty SessRinner who reported it to the “authorities” of FFN, because another friend of mine got hers taken down not long after mine, and it was also SessKag.  Just my tinfoil theory, anyway!

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, yes, yes.  It’s practically all I write.  I do all sorts of smut, from romantic, sensual stuff, to specific kinks, to monsterfucking--all that good stuff.  Can’t change me~<3

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so.  No one has asked me if they can translate one, anyway.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!  I’m open to the idea, and I’ve had little discussions with my fic-writing buddies about it, but nothing’s come out of it just yet.  Keep your eyes peeled!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh, now come on!  I can’t pick just one!  But I’ll give you a top 3 (in no particular order, because they change places a lot, depending on how obsessed I am with them at the moment). Inuyasha:  Sess/Kag FullMetal Alchemist:  Roy/Ed Mass Effect:  Garrus/FemShep

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a couple of stories that I deleted from my original FFN account that I’d like to re-write and re-post on AO3, but I don’t think I’ll ever get around to it.  There were a couple of Inu/Kag fics I had in-progress, and then a Koug/Kag fic.  I recently rewrote and reposted my SessKag fic from years ago, Hawk, on FFN, AO3, and Dokuga!  So maybe all hope isn’t lost.  I’m even writing a sequel for Hawk! All the stories I have in-progress right now I plan on finishing.  At some point, lol.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, without a doubt.  It’s my favorite thing to write, aside from smut, of course--which is another strength of mine.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions, ugh.  I try to do them well, but I always feel like they get stale.  So I keep them somewhat vague, because in my mind, I think readers will fill in the gaps themselves whether you describe something immaculately or not--they’ll see what they want to see, and that is totally fine in my book!  Or maybe I’m just making excuses, lol.  I’ll only describe something in a lot of detail if I want the reader to focus on that--usually an outfit, accessory, or weapon--otherwise, I leave it up to their imagination (I don’t want manipulate it too much, I suppose).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Wildly unnecessary unless that author speaks the language as well, or if certain words already exist in the fandom’s translations (ex. “youkai,” “alkahestry,” etc).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Inuyasha, and the fic(s) I wrote in the beginning were terrible.  I want to burn all traces of them off the face of the earth.  I was in middle school.  I was young and stupid.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I gotta go with Stardust.  It’s the longest fic I’ve ever completed at more than 160k words.  I was so immensely proud when I typed “The End,” and I was able to say to myself “I did it.”

I tag: @glassesmcfancyhair @willowsrain 

[jackrrabbit]

ask answering/updates

first of all, thank you 💘 second of all...

ok ok ok don’t get too excited, but I finally got the juice to start working on the next part of Fanatic 🖤 most of you guys will be like ‘who cares’ but i know some of you have been waiting for this for a while! it’s been what, 2 months?? hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying this *knocks on wood* also not to hype myself too much but it’s kinda bomb 😳 maybe this is just my sick bias but I’ve really been wanting to write about...aftermath iykwim haha. reader all scared & shy & trying to avoid him but yk he’s not going to leave her alone :P

I also figured out the ending to it will come back!! it wouldn’t be shiggy if it didn’t get dangerous 😈 also gonna be nice to write some eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head fuckery so our favorite handsy creep can finally get his dick wet with his beloved little nursey <3

here are some other vague ideas, some based on requests, some not. as always no promises!!

BNHA—pillage & plunder with fantasy AU warlord Bakugo (and his gang of ruffians?? hmm...)

BNHA—Overhaul makes you work off your daddy’s gambling debts the extra hard way uwu...also I have SO many ideas for Overhaul 😷 after I finish iwcb my next multi-part fic will probably be with him

BNHA—various things with reader as an aspiring villain set in the same universe as Caught in the Act: reader getting quarantined with shiggy & dabi...dabi getting mad at you after you keep fucking up...incel shiggy jacking it to his adorable protégée without her knowledge (a galaxy brain request from a very good buddy!!!!)

BNHA—ABO with alpha Hawks and omega reader in an elevator...and uh-oh, it’s stuck! and you’re going into heat! oh no, whatever will you do??

Haikyuu—you get stuck in a hole in a wall, good thing your dutiful boyfriend Kuroo is there to help you out ;)

Haikyuu—gangbang with Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo...a challenge bc I’ve never written a gangbang before!! will have to do some research 🧐

Haikyuu—your bf Atsumu does mean things when he’s jealous, like putting his hands up your skirt in public

KNY—Kokushibou decides to keep a shrine maiden as his cute little human pet 💜 actually already wrote pt. 1 but I’ll wait to post til I’m done with Fanatic

AxK—just some no good very bad yandere content with Dr. Midori...neglect play stuff...sensory deprivation stuff...icky icky

Gintama—something with Kamui. does this count as monsterfucking? very very rough...idk what exactly? some form of dastardly acts

thanks for the concern friends 💕💕 I’ve been preoccupied by things happening irl for the past few weeks, trying to educate myself, going to protests, etc.

also in case anyone else is confused, my stance is and always has been that Black lives matter and all cops are bastards. I’m not sure my porn blog is the right place to talk about this at length but if you’re a bootlicker, please smash that unfollow button and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. if you don’t already have a decently functioning moral compass you should not get anywhere near my writing...fr

learn more and get involved

omg thank you & yes yes a million times yes!!! hope you don’t mind commitment issues and student loan debt 💝👯‍♀️

the line between not hawksfucker and hawksfucker is very thin and very blurry, beware.....lol and thank you!!

the video you recommended...like damn!!! that’s exactly the vibe I feel like fratty Hawks x reader from be a little bad would be like if they had a happy ending eventually (start at 1:39)!!!!! “I didn’t make you do this” “I’m not accusing you of anything” it’s that exact dynamic. imo Hawks might be a little less willing to make things official and reader would prob have a hard time being straightforward enough to ask tho...hmmm

I did get several requests for a part 2! I’m thinking it over atm. I will say tho that most of my reqs have very slow turnaround so if I write it, it might be a while

ooh I love getting recommendations! here’s what I like:

fanfic: I read stuff like what I write (smut, kink, yandere, villains). at some point I’m going to make a long post of fic recs of my own! I also read fluff and character x character ship fic so interests are pretty broad

TV: humor, crime shows like Bones, Criminal Minds, Psych, that kind of thing. nothing too dark or complicated, nothing that requires too much investment. same goes for anime

movies: pretty much everything! lately I’m really into Howl’s Moving Castle and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

books: literary fiction. can I say I’m into dark academia if the only dark academia I’ve read is The Secret History? favorite books I’ve read semi-recently are TSH, All the Light We Cannot See, The Poisonwood Bible, and Discipline & Punish. currently reading Foucault’s History of Sexuality

music: idk man...all kinds of stuff. I listen based on vibe more than genre. all my spotify playlists are named things like “sunday” and “the power” and “[sparkle emoji]”. my artists on repeat are Hozier, The Weeknd, Kendrick, M.I.A., The Neighborhood (F I’m a basic bitch) but I’ll try anything once

jfc these two asks have given me so much hope 🥰😭💗 you know what? sooner or later I’m going to post Kamui x reader smut and it’s going to get 3 notes from the three of us liking it and that’s okay because I’ve thirsted over this man too long and too hard to go my entire life without reading over-indulgent reader-insert porn of him. yes the villain kink jumped out but DAMN!!! the man has ‘h*rny scumbag who lets his instincts rule him’ baked into both his DNA and his psyche, and I’m so here for it 😌

if you don’t know who Kamui is, do me a favor and watch gintama. yes there are like 400 episodes but it’s worth it. I will convert more bitches to the gintama thirst train if it costs me my life. Kamui was made to star in disrespectful breeding kink smut and this is a hill I will die on.

??? sure, if you can point me toward part 2 ????? lmao

I’m guessing you meant to ask for a pt 2 instead of pt 3? in which case, thanks for asking!! but tbh...for some reason I have a really hard time imagining what a pt 2 would look like, maybe because I wrote it 100% from Overhaul’s POV so it’s hard for me to define the reader’s feelings. I’m not saying it’ll never happen but 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER if it’s Overhaul content in general you’re craving, you’re in luck!!! he’s a favorite of mine. legit he ticks so many of my boxes—villain kink? check. medical/scientist kink? check. yakuza kink? honey I’m weak. I’ll definitely be writing more for him in the future!

oh no! I checked it on my computer & on mobile and all of the links are working for me? are the links still broken for you guys?

anyway, here are the rules, here’s the short version of the request rules, and here is part 1 and part 2 of it will come back.

thank you to everyone who has sent kind words, everyone who replies to my writing, and everyone who posts thirst in the tags!!! I read that shit!!!! and it makes me fucking cry, I love you all

one more thing: several people have requested continuations to Sleepless, Sidekick, and Fanatic. on one hand, I’m so flattered that you guys want more!!! on the other hand, I actually already answered asks about pt. 2′s for those particular fics. before you request a continuation of anything, it’s probably a good idea to look up the name of the fic as a tag on my blog so you can check and see if anyone else had the same question 💖💖💖

[rumpledgoldenweaver]

The Wolf With The Red Roses - Chapter Three and Epilogue

Chapter One   Chapter Two  Read on my blog  

So here ends my little tale, hope you enjoy it. Thank you to @thatravenclawbitch for hosting the inaugural Monsterfucker’s Ball and sorry there wasn’t any smut!

Many centuries ago, an ancestor of Gold’s was travelling home having fought in the first Scottish war of independence, Cormag, a young man of roughly sixteen was heartsick, tired and desperate to get back to his family. A full moon providing the only light as he trudged along the dirt track road. He reached for his leather water bottle, draining the last dregs. He would have to find a stream to refill it, he listened carefully for the sound of running water but there was none. Cormag kept walking, not having any real idea of where he was. He’d hoped to reach the moors by daylight however luck had not been on his side.

A lone wolf howled somewhere off in the distance, Cormag shivered, he had no desire to run into the animal, he’d heard too many tales of what became of men that had. Wolf or no wolf though, he needed to find water and some sort of shelter for the night.

After walking a few miles further, Cormag conceded that he was indeed hopelessly lost. He stood, peering into the dark, a vain attempt to take stock of his surroundings. He sent up a prayer to the Gods, maybe they would help a weary traveller. It was almost Samhain, perhaps there would be a friendly spirit who would guide him home.

Seemingly out of nowhere lights appeared at what looked like the other side of the moor. Thanking the Gods and the spirits, Cormag set off towards them with a renewed purpose. However as he kept to the path, the lights seemed to get further away. Cormag sighed, he’d have to cross the moor.

Some time passed, Cormag didn’t encounter any ghosts or thankfully any wolves, he did find a small stream however, he drank till his thirst was gone and refilled his water bottle. He set off again in the direction of the lights that never seemed to get any nearer.

After walking what he guessed at being another couple of miles, Cormag paused again to rest, setting his pack on the ground and lying beside it, gazing up at the stars. It was then he heard the low growl. Cormag shot to his feet, pulling the short knife he carried from it’s sheath just as a large shape leapt through the air towards him. Wolf and man fought a short scuffle before Cormag managed to stab the creature in it’s leg. It let out a howl of pain and ran off into the bushes. When he was sure the wolf had gone Cormag made a quick check of himself for injury, finding a deep cut on his arm

“Just a wee scratch”

Ripping his tunic he made a rough bandage and wrapped it round the wound, picking up his pack he set off again, keeping his knife in his hand.

Cormag never saw the wolf again, he practically fell into the village he’d been heading towards just as dawn broke. He never mentioned his encounter to anyone, though the healer tended his wound with a degree of suspicion. On learning that his own home had been destroyed in the war, Cormag decided to stay where he was. The people were friendly, there was work for him and Kathleen, the blacksmith’s daughter was very pretty.

The first full moon he spent there nothing happened despite his fears. Overcome with relief he went to the tavern, got extremely drunk and proposed to Kathleen. She said yes and they were married within the month. During the time that followed the couple were very happy, Kathleen became pregnant, life was good.

When Cormag came of age however, their lives took a dark turn. Cormag turned into a wolf at the harvest moon, bloodlust overcame him and he slaughtered three men. He was eventually stopped when the priest stabbed him with a silver tipped knife. Kathleen was heartbroken.

Three months later a son was born. Kathleen and her baby were cast out from the village.

“That’s awful!” Belle exclaimed “Why throw her out?”

“Because the wolf gene is passed along the male line, so her son would have it, his son, and all the sons after, down to me. Over the years my family studied, begged help from healers, witches and anyone else who they thought could help, till a method of controlling it was found. I had to learn magic for want of a better word at a very young age”

“Oh” was all Belle could think to say

“It’s why I’ve never married, never had children” Fraser continued “I couldn’t bear to pass this on. I wanted to be the last..”

“So why send me roses then?”

Fraser blushed, he began picking imaginary lint off Belle’s duvet cover “Because I like you and I thought maybe a little romance couldn’t hurt.. it took me a whole year to pluck up the courage to actually do it”

Belle shuffled over to him, it had gone dark outside even though it was only late afternoon, she gingerly placed her arm over his waist and gave him a half hug. He looked most surprised.

“It was a very lovely thing to do”

“I didn’t intend to end up naked in your bed before I’d even asked you out though. I do apologise”

Belle snorted a laugh “You have nothing to be ashamed of I assure you”

Fraser raised an eyebrow “Then why Miss French are you laughing so hard?”

The false indignation in his voice made Belle laugh even more, soon the two of them were in proverbial bits at the absurdity of the situation.

When they’d regained their composure, Belle sat up away from him, wrapping her arms round her knees

“I can’t have children” the statement hung in the air for a moment before she continued “I had.. problems.. a few years ago and I can’t have children”

“Belle you don’t have to tell me, it’s..”

She silenced him with a look “You shared with me, it’s only fair. When you said that.. this..” she waved her hand for emphasis “is why you’d never married or.. well.. I thought.. since we like each other..” she seemed to lose her words, Fraser slid his arm round her, pulling her back towards him. They stayed like that in companionable silence for a while until Belle’s stomach growled.

“Hungry?”

“Starving.. but I’ve got nothing in and we can’t go out because you’ve got nothing on”

“I’ll have to change and go back to the shop, after I’ve made myself a little more respectable we could go to the Italian for dinner perhaps?”

“I would like that very much” Belle smiled.

Epilogue

Fraser Gold and Belle French were married the following year, a few days before the October full moon. Not wanting to travel too far from home under the circumstances, they spent their honeymoon at a cabin, deep in the woods that surrounded Storybrooke. Gold had acquired it a couple of weeks beforehand, it used to belong to Granny and Ruby, but with the diner neither felt they had the time to use it any more and didn’t want the responsibility of the upkeep. It suited the Gold’s perfectly, the remote location ensuring their privacy since they had more than one reason not to want anyone disturbing them.

Six months after they officially started dating Belle asked Fraser to make her his wolf mate as well as his human one. He’d initially refused, he wouldn’t intentionally pass on his curse in any way shape or form. Belle had argued that it was her choice, that she wanted to be changed,  to be at his side, he could teach her how to control it, show her how to be like him.

In the end it happened by accident, he’d caught her hand with his teeth whilst in his wolf form. He’d been mortified but Belle insisted it didn’t matter. Before the next full moon Fraser taught her as much as he could, luckily she seemed to have a natural talent for magic and two months later she had her lupine tendencies under control.

So on the night of the Hunter’s Moon, two wolves made their way from the cabin in the woods to the highest point of the forest. Together they looked out over the lights of Storybrooke and howled.

Somewhere, out in the darkness the spirit of a young man named Cormag watched over his last descendant and their mate. He smiled, then with a wave of his hand he turned from ghost into ghost wolf disappearing into the night.