#(and yes I know maybe I should have done it with a cut here bc length but I didn't want to)

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。what if you’re someone i just want around (i’m falling again)

synopsis. somewhere along the line, you started to hate suguru—that doesn’t mean you stopped loving him too

— word count. 9.5k (i am in misery)

— contents. post canon! au — fix it! (we all need a good fix it fic with suguru don't lie), this fic was started before recent manga chapters so the higher ups are still alive—just go with it ok :,), geto survives + lives free of kenjaku, exes to lovers, kind of redemption i suppose, mentions of blood, injuries, and weight loss (geto), mentions of canon character deaths (nanako, mimiko, nanami), mentions of wanting to raise children with geto and have a family, no gendered terms but reader has a personality and actual thoughts and feelings, references to the hunger games (you have movie night lol), BFF satoru (he is babie), there is a kiss y’all !! (scandalous i know :O)

— notes. i started this fic back in march and i had trouble with it and put it on pause for a while. i’m very glad i finished it in the end. i always like fix it! fics and this is self-indulgent and idk if ppl will read it bc it’s sfw but it’s ok if they don’t, i loved writing it. thank you koi for beta-reading this whole bad boy. mwah <333

the day suguru is declared a free man is actually the day he signs away his freedom for good. 

you say nothing, but you know it’s the truth. satoru fights tooth and nail to plead suguru’s case—you think it’s perhaps a little too desperate for it to be in the best interest of suguru and not himself. but satoru has suffered enough, and admittedly—although you deny it—a small part of you does not want to lose suguru twice. you watch as satoru argues that suguru has already died once—surely he can’t die again? and losing control of his body and mind is paying for his crimes enough, is it not? he argues that there are no ideals left for a man like geto suguru to chase after losing himself to every principle he had left. 

and then satoru wins. 

you expect it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. you watch numbly as suguru is assigned under your watch. you should be happy. you love suguru—you never stopped. but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s not a free man, and now he drags your freedom with his. you’ll never break away from him, never cut through the ropes that tie your hands behind your back and bind you to him—and then you wonder for a moment, unsure if it’s selfish or selfless or some cruel in-between to think this way, if geto suguru was better off dead. 

whether that’s for your sake, or his, you’re not sure. 

and yes, he’s let off alive, and sure, there’s no real punishment for all he’s done, but you know deep down he’s as chained and shackled as he’s ever been. he’s not allowed to leave the house unless you or satoru are there to chaperone, and it’s never to be anywhere near non-sorcerers. he’s not to live in a place of his own until the higher up’s deem him trustworthy. he has to ask you to buy the things he wants from the grocery store. he can’t even step outside for a smoke unless you’re aware. 

for a long time, he doesn’t speak much—can hardly muster a barely audible mornin’ back when you force a smile and greet him cheerily for breakfast. slowly, it turns into half-snarky conversations that get cut short by one of you leaving the room. finally, you’re civil—maybe even friendly. you’re not so sure where you stand with him as of now.

it’s not the same suguru you remember falling in love with, it’s not even close to the version of the man you fell for all those years ago. it’s hard having him here—some days you’re angry and want to throw him out, to scream at him for haunting you again just when you think you’ve moved on from the horrors of your past. some days you want to cry and cling to him, bury your face into his neck and thank him for being here again, for finding his way back to you. and some days you wish you never met him at all, that this would all be easier if it didn’t exist in the first place. 

he’s not the same geto suguru you loved, but somehow, because life is as bitter as it is ruthless, you fall in love with this version just as hard no matter how much you deny it. 

“i made your favorite,” you smile gently, placing a neat plate of french toast with freshly cut strawberries on the side. you even take great care to get the syrup-to-powdered sugar ratio he likes right, but he doesn’t make a move to reach for the plate. instead, suguru sits at the table stiffly, like he has to be here or there are consequences for that too. it almost makes you sad—even here, he’s not free. 

“thanks,” he says quietly, “but i’m not hungry.”

“you said that last night, suguru,” you sigh, “and at lunch. and at breakfast. and at dinner the night before—”

“i’ll eat it later,” he cuts you off, playing with the ends of his hair. 

it’s a lot shorter now. it’s you who finds his body battered and bruised after the smoke clears. he’s almost unrecognizable, not the same charming and perfect suguru you’re used to seeing. not the same silkened strands and smooth skin, not the same muscled and toned body, not the same chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. instead, he’s a shell of himself. his hair is matted in knots, his body is almost frail, and you notice the sunken hollows of his cheeks and dark undereyes as you lift him from the rubble a little too easily. but his body is his own—that much you can tell from the way the stitches have disappeared. 

it takes shoko a long time to nurse him back to health—it takes even longer for him to open his eyes.

you waited day and night by his side, hand over his as he breathed slowly, unconscious and unsuspecting. it would be so easy, you think one night, it would be so easy to kill him and forget and move on. 

you’ve already grieved him once before. you’ve felt and conquered the pain of loving geto suguru and losing him first to himself and then to death. but love is as selfish as it is selfless, and it’s under your mercy that you let him live—yet it’s under your cowardice that you keep him close. 

“you have to gain back the weight you lost, suguru,” you sigh, “you’re w—”

“weak?” he finishes for you, eyeing you for a second and then grinning. it’s unsettling, a grin that makes your skin crawl and your heart stop for a moment before he’s reaching for the fork and stabbing into his toast. “is that what you wanted to say? that i’m weak?”

“suguru, you know that’s not how i meant—”

“you’re not wrong,” he hums, chewing on the first bite as he speaks, “i suppose i am pretty weak right now, huh? couldn’t even kill you in your sleep if i tried could i?”

your throat is dry as you shrug, “i suppose not,” you whisper. 

“ah,” he grins again, “but that doesn’t stop you from locking your door every night, does it?” 

suguru is still healing. his body is weak, and sometimes, he leans against the wall as he walks. his arm is healed—you’re not entirely sure how, but you catch him rolling the shoulder out every now and then like it’s sore and stiff. he’s lost a lot of weight—part of it is from being bedridden for as long as he was, injured and half alive, and part of it is from barely eating—save for the few bites you force into him. you never thought there’d be a day when you could say this—but the odds of you beating suguru in hand-to-hand combat are high, and the reality is an everlasting reminder that he is not who you fell for. 

you swallow, letting out a shaky breath as he watches you closely, diligently cutting another bite from the french toast sitting on his plate as he stares you down like he can see past your soul. you don’t know what’s scarier—that suguru can still practically see yours, or that you’re unsure he even has one anymore. 

“you tried coming in?” you ask, unsure what else to say. he merely shrugs, takes another bite, and sets his fork down. 

“thought i’d check on you,” he pops a strawberry half into his mouth as he speaks.

“is that what it really was?” you raise a brow, “or was i right to lock the door?”

you’re not sure why you lock the door at night. maybe it’s because you don’t trust him, or maybe it’s because you don’t want him near you just yet. you’re not sure. you’re not sure how satoru can go back to his cheery self, how he can step through your door and boom a loud yo, suguru! before settling beside suguru on the couch with his feet on the coffee table as he rambles away. maybe it’s not real—maybe it’s satoru desperately pretending that if he tries hard enough, things can go back to how they were. 

but you don’t know how he still has the energy to try, and you don’t know if you have it in you to try anymore yourself. 

you and suguru stare each other down like that for a bit, the tension rising with every silent second that passes. you’re sure he doesn’t want to be here as much as you don’t want him around—but you’re also sure he’s glad it’s here with you as much as you’re glad it’s with no one else.

“you tell me,” he smirks after a bit, the hint of amusement making your fists clench. how dare he have the audacity to look at you like that in your own home? like he has the upper hand over you without trying? “what do you think i was there for?”

“i think you should stay in your room, suguru,” you say carefully, “i bought a new bed just for that room.”

“how sweet of you,” he hums. he sips the tea before him—it’s cold by now, but it’s just how he likes it, rose with one sugar. “you must have been excited to have me.”

“hardly,” you mumble bitterly—you can’t help it. you want him to feel hurt, even just a little. you want him to know that just because he’s back, it doesn’t mean you’ve waited all this time for him to be. liar, a part of you says, you’ve always waited for him, haven’t you? but suguru doesn’t seem phased—he doesn’t even blink.

“then tell me, why am i here?” suguru asks, his tone is as casual as ever. 

i wish i knew, you want to say. i wish i knew but i don’t.

“because satoru asked you to be,” is all you can say.

he nods, pushing back his plate and standing up, offering you that same grin. “you’re right,” he hums, “that’s exactly why i’m here.”

it hits you why his smile is so unsettling once he leaves—it’s almost genuine, like he’s still loved you all this time. impossible, you tell yourself. suguru stopped loving you a long time ago. and you need to stop trying to figure out why. 

————————————————

even despite telling yourself you don’t care what suguru thinks, a small part of you needs to prove to him you’re not scared of him. that you don’t fear for your own safety in your home, and that him being here is not some form of him haunting you. you don’t care. he shouldn’t get the luxury of thinking you care. he can come in and watch you sleep like the creep he is if he wants—you couldn’t bother to give it a second thought. 

the first night you take a chance and leave the door unlocked, suguru slips into bed beside you. it wakes you up instantly, and before you can question it, his head tucks into your neck, and his hand grasps your shirt tightly. you notice the panting almost instantly—and then you realize, it must be a nightmare. 

you fall into old habits, even after all these years, defaulting to care for him like it’s second nature. 

“you’re safe, suguru,” is what you settle for saying after a moment of contemplation. it’s all you can really think to say, so you brush your lips over the top of his head as you murmur, “you’re safe,” over and over again. 

as difficult as it is to have suguru around, as painful and cruel and aggravating as it is to be reminded of his distant existence even as he’s two doors down, this part feels natural. it’s almost like you’re back in jujutsu high, waking up to him sneaking into your room as he presses his weight over your body and wakes you with soft kisses along your face. 

except this time, he’s not annoyingly demanding cuddles or telling you about his weird dream, he’s not stealing your blanket and demanding you play with his hair. this time, it’s not the same suguru—and this time, it’s not jujutsu high. 

it’s your room. the one you got on the other side of town to leave the sorcery world behind, somehow still stuck right in the center of it no matter where you go. and yet, just like all those years ago, your legs tangle, and your arms wrap him up, and you murmur, “you’re safe,” while he catches his breath. 

“but they’re not,” he mutters in between labored pants, making you pause. 

and then you remember. 

faintly, you recall the blonde and black hair from a distance, you remember bitterly wondering what’d it be like watching suguru fathering children of your own as you came to the reality that it would never happen. sometimes, you wonder if you hate nanako and mimiko for existing, for living as the dreams you never got to live through with suguru. 

it’s selfish—to hate two children because they are what you do not have. 

but then you feel something wet hit your neck, and then you wish they were okay—for his sake. and just for a moment, you’re selfless again. 

“they’re not safe,” he mutters, making you sigh. 

“they are,” you whisper, hesitating for a moment before letting your fingers slip into his hair. you scratch gently at his scalp, feeling his body melt into yours almost instantly—like it’s a response that’s natural to him. “they’re not suffering. not anymore.”

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” he scoffs. you shrug, letting your cheek press against the top of his head as you sigh.

“it helps me feel better,” you say softly, “‘s just how you learn to cope.”

it’s an understanding you both silently come to. loss on both sides. bloodshed on either ground. defeat no matter which ideal you take. to love is to bear the pain of mortality—it’s a lesson that you never cease to learn until the ends of time itself. 

“the jujutsu world is one of suffering,” he grits, sniffling into your neck. you hum, pressing a kiss to his head as your eyes close. 

“every world is one of suffering, suguru, you can’t erase them all. the sooner you realize that, the easier you’ll find peace.”

you fall into a slumber after that, faintly aware of the way he shuffles closer to you, faintly aware of the soft kiss pressed to your skin as sleep takes over your body and drifts you out of consciousness. 

when you wake up the next morning, suguru is gone, and the door is closed. the blanket is tucked up to your chin, and your neck still tingles from last night. 

————————————————

“get up,” you throw a pillow at suguru, waking him up with a start as he sits up. his hair is tousled and messy from sleep—it’s now long enough that he can put it in a bun without strands slipping from the bottom anymore. you chuckle as he glares at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he groans. 

“the fuck was that for?” he grunts, holding the blanket up to cover his exposed chest. 

it’s funny that he does that, in a way. it’s not as though you haven’t seen his chest…and then some too. it’s not like you haven’t torn his shirt off to stanch the flow of blood from his injuries before or feel the bare skin with your palm under the pale moonlight as the lingering scent of sex breezes through the room. 

but somehow, even though he doesn’t need to cover his chest around you of all people, you’re glad that he does. truthfully, it keeps you slightly comforted to know that he’s aware you’re still technically strangers—no matter how well-versed you are in each other’s pasts. but you don’t ponder on it too much. instead, you grin, shoving aside the visual of the small glance you caught at his pecs, and you clap your hands to motion him to hurry. 

“we are going grocery shopping,” you say casually—as though it’s not something to make him raise a brow in shock.

“me?” he points a finger at himself. you roll your eyes, and he challenges you with another raise of his brow. “aren’t i supposed to stay away from civilians?”

“yes, you,” you nod, pointing back at him, “and satoru has worked overtime to get you granted permission to roam around with me. he says you’re welcome, by the way.”

“tell him to go fuck off.”

“that’s ungrateful,” you say flatly, “his feelings will be hurt.”

“his feelings will find a way to cope,” suguru huffs. “i don’t want to be around…them,” he says bitterly. 

you suppose it’s wishful thinking to hope suguru has let go of his past beliefs. perhaps he’s long abandoned the possibility of the vision he once planned on bringing to life, but you can’t say you expected him to revert back to the old suguru who fought alongside you and satoru. you yourself certainly have no intention of returning to the sorcery world after all the events, so you can’t say you’re shocked by the lack of change he seems to show. but then again, you suppose suguru has changed. whether he sees it or not. 

he stays here and doesn’t put up a fight to leave even though he can now that he’s healed. he eats lunch when you tell him and even washes the dishes. sometimes, when you come home a bit late, dinner is even ready on the table as he sits and stares at you expectantly. his plate is empty like yours—like he’s been waiting for you even though he doesn’t need to. you suppose you can see he’s changed in the way he doesn’t scoff at the tv channels you surf through, he silently sits on the opposite end of the couch now and watches with you, and perhaps if you’re lucky, you’ll hear a light chuckle or a quiet sigh as the scenes roll on the screen. 

you suppose this suguru is a step closer to your suguru every day he spends with you, but you don’t know if any suguru is what you need right now. perhaps that name should’ve been buried away as a distant memory, perhaps it should’ve only been something you unlock once every year on his death anniversary—when satoru clambers through your door drunk and unsteady as he clutches the hand that killed his best friend, only to share pancakes with you in the morning and pretend like you don’t notice the dried tears on his cheeks while he acts like he doesn’t catch the way your hand shakes as you cut into your breakfast. 

but suguru is here now. whether it’s as geto, one half of the strongest duo in jujutsu high, whether it’s as suguru, the love of your life and the sole reason you exist, or whether it’s as geto suguru, the curse user and mass murderer who haunts your past, present, and everything in between. 

so you simply sigh, grab the pillow again, and hit the top of his head before walking over to the door as you call over your shoulder, “i’m gonna wait for you by the door in fifteen minutes. be ready or face the consequences..”

“no thanks. don’t wanna,” suguru grumbles petulantly, frowning at you as you stick your tongue at him, smirking as if you’ve just played your ace. 

“too bad,” you sing before swinging the door shut.

he’s at the door in exactly fifteen minutes, like he waited until the last possible second to join you as a move of spite. but you simply gesture him out the door and lock up, taking your sweet time as he stands there with an annoyed face. you stare at the doorknob once you’re done, taking a deep breath before turning to him with your best smile. 

“let’s go,” you hum.

“after you,” he mutters.

—

he grimaces as soon as he sees the people going about their business, clearly unhappy with the idea of being around non-sorcerers, but one sharp glare from you has him sighing and trekking along. the grocery store, admittedly, is not as bad as suguru thinks—in fact, there are lots of things he doesn’t realize he misses until he watches you grab a shopping cart. 

suddenly, he sees shadows. the silhouette of your figure climbing into the cart, the angry wave of satoru’s hands as he claims it's his turn to be pushed around, the figure of shoko pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation from the back—and then, he sees the dark shadow of baggy pants and a small bun. it’s him. suguru watches himself almost in slow motion through the remnants of his imagination as he gently shoves satoru out of the way and reaches to poke the tip of your nose before he pushes the cart with you in it.  

it’s a happy memory—and it’s gone all too soon.

as soon as he blinks, the shadows have disappeared—instead, it’s you waving a hand in his face, concern written on your features as you call his name. 

“suguru? hey, hello? are you with me?”

he exhales, pulled from his trance as he gently grabs your wrist from in front of his face and sets it down as he nods, “yeah, i’m fine. just thinking,” he mumbles. 

for a second, you hesitate, like you almost mean to say something. but in the end, you only nod before turning to grab the shopping cart. but he stops you—grabs the handle and turns to you with a small smile on his face, making you raise a brow as he gently moves you away. 

“what are you—”

“get in,” he grins, making you stare at him in bewilderment. 

“what?”

“just get in,” he sighs, “you love it when you get to sit in the cart.”

“i’m not a teenager anymore—”

“get in, will you?” he groans, “always so damn difficult.”

“hey,” you pout, glaring at him with your hands planted at your hips, “that’s rude.” it’s cute. suguru stares at you with amusement in his eyes and a soft look on his face that you don’t think you’ve really seen in years. 

“humor me,” he hums, “just get in, okay?”

so you do. 

with a huff and a grumble under your breath, you fight back a smile and climb into the damn cart just like old times. you swallow and try not to let it get to you when he reaches over and pokes the tip of your nose and pushes the cart around, letting you name off the things you need from your list while he grabs them. and when he sneaks snacks into the pile, you roll your eyes and glare at him in the way you always did—the one that isn’t actually annoyed. fond. happy to let it slide because it’s him.

“we need candy,” you murmur, “that’s the last thing on the list.”

“okay. what kind?” he asks, turning the cart into the candy aisle and smiling softly down at you.

“doesn’t matter, satoru eats anything as long as it’s sweet. he’s more likely to die from sugar than fighting a curse, i think.”

“you buy candy for satoru?” he asks, making you shrug as you reach over and grab a few bags of candy off the shelves, setting them down beside you. 

“he comes over a lot so i learned to keep stuff stocked up for him. you know how he gets when he’s hungry.”

suguru feels something he hasn’t felt since he was a teenager. jealousy—specifically of satoru. 

suguru is not foolish. he knows as soon as he meets gojo satoru that of the two, one of them is stronger and it’s definitely not himself. for the longest time, he’s okay with that, okay being the strongest only when alongside satoru—until he’s not. and even if suguru always had a bit more attention in the romance department than satoru, in his head he’s always known that perhaps satoru can keep you safer, more well off, maybe even happier. with smooth smiles and eyes as welcoming as an oasis, gojo satoru would never leave you in the dark pit of misery as suguru once had. 

something about the thought of you and satoru keeping each other company through the lonely years, filling that empty spot suguru left behind, sharing moments over candy and empty wrappers makes suguru wonder for a moment if perhaps he’d be happier if he stayed. maybe he could have worn a heartfelt smile in a world that carves them off the faces of sorcerers with bloody knives as long as you were there to wipe the blood.  

but before he can dwell on it, you snatch one more bag—this time of his favorite candy, placing it into the cart and grinning gently up at him. 

“i haven’t bought this one in years,” you admit, “i almost forget how it tastes.”

“me too,” he says quietly.

“well,” you hum, “we’ll have to have some when we’re home.”

home. you say it as though it belongs to him as much as it does you, and then like you always have, without even meaning to, you wash away the dark stains of his jealousy with no trace left behind.

“yeah,” he chuckles, “we—”

“daddy, look! candy!” suguru is cut off by the gentle pitter-patter of two tiny feet running into the aisle, pointing at a bag of candy as a man follows close behind. 

his breath hitches. 

she’s small, the girl—she has two pigtails with soft strands of blonde hair falling out of the loosely tied bands. it reminds suguru of the first time he perfected tying up nanako’s hair, the soft giggles behind her tiny hand as she twirled in the mirror. 

there’s another girl in the man’s arms—dark hair on her head as she curls into her father’s chest and tucks her head into his neck when she sees you and suguru in the aisle. she’s shy, he realizes, like mimiko, and suddenly he remembers the tiny fingers that used to hook into his pants when she got too overwhelmed by the people around her, waiting for suguru to scoop her into his arms. 

perhaps in another life, suguru would redo everything differently—he’d be happy with you and satoru and shoko, and nanami and haibara would be there too, well and alive. but no matter what, he’d never redo nanako and mimiko differently. he’d never change a thing about them, not even the way nanako whines too much about small things or the way mimiko never speaks up even when something is clearly bothering her. he’d never change the way he saved them and took them in at the tender age of eighteen, too lost to be a father but choosing to raise them anyway. he’d never change the feeling of pure joy and unbridled pride when they climbed into his bed for the first time, shushing each other so as not to wake him—even though he’d awoken as soon as the door to his room opened. 

because he realized that night that yeah, maybe he’d made mistakes in his lifetime, lots of them too. maybe he’d made a bad choice choosing the path he did, or maybe he didn’t. he’s never been completely sure—just that he had to try at least to make his vision for a different world come to life. but one mistake he never made was his girls. one thing he was always sure about was the soft clutch at his pants and the tiny hands reaching for his own.

suguru wouldn’t change anything about nanako and mimiko—except maybe the fact that they aren’t here, gone because of him. 

“suguru?” you ask softly, reaching for his hand as he grips the cart tightly and pulling his gaze away from the family in the distance. 

he blinks, meets your eyes, and knows that you know. with one glance at your face, he knows you understand. the world is cruel, one filled with suffering, he thinks. but then he remembers what you said, that every world is full of suffering, not just his—that it’s a truth he has to come face to face with.

but it’s hard. it’s hard when this man has his two little girls and suguru does not—it’s hard to watch someone have what he wants with no worries of losing it, all because of people and their own weaknesses. he thinks for a moment that he’s been right all along—that non-sorcerers are too weak for this life, that the jujutsu world has always suffered so they don’t have to. 

but then the man speaks up, catching both of your attention. 

“your mother used to love those,” he says quietly to his daughter, a pained smile on his face. instantly, you and suguru both seem to understand the weight of that single sentence. 

every world has its own pain, suguru realizes. its own cruelties and unfairness, its own way of bringing suffering in its wake as it rips away the things closest to you from your begging fingertips, leaving them cold and empty and numb from the lost weight underneath them. 

“let’s go, suguru,” you whisper, “we have everything we came for.”

“yeah,” he whispers back, clearing his throat so his voice doesn’t crack, “let’s go.”

suguru leaves the grocery store with you after you pay, and for a brief moment, he’s unsure. unsure whether he’s grateful to satoru for fighting for him to be able to come and grateful to you for dragging him along, or if he wishes he died along with the rubble, gone before you could find him and turn him into this.

“before you even think about hiding away in your room,” you say, grabbing the bags from the cart as you put it back where it belongs, “you have to help with putting away the groceries.”

“sure,” he says smoothly. he grabs all the heavy bags from your hand, and you make a move to protest that you don’t need him to take the heavier ones, that you’re fine and can handle them like you’ve always handled them. 

but he walks off, and finally, you decide to simply follow.

—————————��——————

satoru likes to come and visit—you’ve started a routine movie night every week (unless he’s away, of course.) it’s fun, but it also means he makes your veins pop because he’s a headache like that—always makes himself right at home and eats your snacks like this is his place and not yours. he helps himself to your already limited candy and puts his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table no matter how many times you tell him not to. 

you try sitting with legs as long as these, he always whines, earning a harsh glare from you as you smack at his shins until he ultimately caves and begrudgingly sets his feet down. 

but then they always make their way back up to the coffee table, and you’re too busy enjoying his company to care—although you’ll never admit it. 

satoru is endearing like that, swallowing the dark clouds from your shoulders whole and eating up your burdens with that side of responsibility that you don’t think you could ever stomach. satoru is just like that, you realize, taking the brunt of the weight and laughing off every concern until you can’t help but not take them seriously yourself. 

it’s hard to remember that sometimes you didn’t just lose suguru, the love of your life, that night. everyone lost something. shoko lost someone to smoke with, yaga lost a student to scold, nanami lost a headache to avoid, and satoru?

well…satoru lost what you think might’ve been the only filled void of his miserably empty life. 

it’s hard to remember that satoru lost his best friend—the only best friend he’s ever had (although you like to think of yourself as a close contender)—because he’s so good at letting you forget. he brings you ice cream (that he eats half of because it’s only fair he gets a share), and he sits and hogs your couch (that he argues you don’t really need as much space as him on because your legs aren’t as long), and he watches those stupid sitcoms that are dry with boring jokes (that you used to make suguru watch back in the day).

it’s hard to remember that satoru also lost as much as you because he’s so damn good at making you forget about your own loss, you don’t care to think about anyone else’s for a while. just a short while. just until he’s yawning that obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching those awkwardly long limbs of his before he claims he really should go and that being the world’s best teacher requires as many hours of beauty sleep as you can squeeze in. 

and then he’s off. and it’s empty again. and just like that, you’re reminded of why he was there in the first place—to fill in that sick and painful void that geto suguru left in you. 

it’s gaping, like he tore a chunk of you right out with sharp teeth, like you’re just a piece of meat for him to get his fill of. if suguru really loved you, would you be so easy to let go of? why couldn’t he smile? because you could—god, you could smile just from the sight of him alone, you realize a long time ago. him with his cigarette tucked between his lips, those death sticks as you called them, hung loosely from his mouth as he gives you a lopsided grin. 

geto suguru is enough of a reason to smile. the world could crumble at your feet and leave you with nothing but rubble and dirt, and still, suguru is the core of the earth you’re searching for. 

so why couldn’t you be the same? what is it you were missing? what about you was just not enough for him like the way he was enough for you? 

it dawns on you one night, through bitter tears and shaky sobs, and that sick, twisted, pleading feeling in your gut that begs the wind to carry him back to you—geto suguru has never loved you the way you loved him.

and for that, you can never forgive him, you don’t think.

“you tryin’ to go bug-eyed?” he asks, settling down on the couch next to you, making you snap out of your trance. you shake your head a little, stare back at him for a moment before putting on that look on your face where you roll your eyes and pretend everything is fine.

“no,” you huff, “i’m just thinking.”

“about…?”

“satoru has rarely ever missed a movie night.”

“maybe he’s sick of you,” he shrugs, grinning slyly at you as you narrow your eyes with a glare, “there’s someone here to keep you company now so he’s probably taken his opportunity to run.”

“you’re hardly company,” you scoff, “freeloader.”

“hey,” he defends, shrugging as if it’s not his fault. you suppose it’s not. “i didn’t ask to be rescued. you can’t be high and mighty and petty. ‘s not how that works.”

“says who? you don’t make the rules. i can be graciously kind and a jerk all at once.”

“complexity,” he nods, “i like it.”

“i’m not as complicated as you might think,” you grumble, crossing your arms as you stare at the time. yeah, satoru isn’t making it—which, he told you as much, but he’s strolled in at the last second too many times to count before. you figure today would be the same. “as long as you don’t skip movie nights with me, i’m pretty simple to keep appeased.”

“alright,” he props his feet up on the coffee table—seriously, what is it with asshole men putting their feet on your table? satoru is a terrible influence. “let’s have a movie night.”

“what?” you blink.

“movie night,” he repeats, “you said you don’t like skipping movie night—”

“well, i meant i don’t like satoru skipping movie—”

“well, it was me before satoru, wasn’t it?” he says with a smile. his eyes are closed, crinkled at the corners, but his voice is carefully neutral—like he takes extra care not to let you see any emotion behind it. 

but that only means there is an emotion, isn’t there? is he jealous? does he hate the fact that you and satoru have a routine of your own without him? that you don’t need him to continue living your life? 

good. he should be. he walked out on you all those years ago. he killed a village. killed his parents. you never even got to meet them—he never even got to take you home and introduce you to them before he ripped away every fantasy you ever had with him. 

and now he’s back—he has the audacity to live, to laugh in your face with his existence that yes, geto suguru is here. and he was supposed to be executed, but your stubborn friend didn’t let that happen. he was supposed to be your husband by now with kids and a happy little home, and you were supposed to be his parent’s new addition to their family that they loved so much. but none of that is even close to happening, and it’s suguru’s fault, and the least he can do is show you some regret and maybe feel just the slightest bit bad that you now have to watch shitty movies with his best friend instead of him to feel normal. 

ex-best friend? half best friend? you don’t even know—do they still consider each other their best friends? does anyone consider suguru anything? you don’t know what you consider him. but you think the least he can do is act just the slightest bit pathetic after making you feel so pathetic for so long just to even the score. 

he should be a stranger. he feels like an old friend. but either is dangerous. 

“alright,” you sigh, “let's bring back movie night. don’t fall asleep.”

“i get plenty of sleep nowadays,” he hums, “i have more than enough free time for that now.”

“how lucky of you,” you snort. 

—

picking a movie with suguru is difficult. he actually has standards—satoru watches anything so long as he gets snacks, and he can make anything fun to watch with the way he comments from the side like a critic. suguru, on the other hand, actually cares about the quality of a movie, the metrics that make it good. 

so you pick the hunger games just to piss him off. 

“seriously?” he raises a brow, “this is your pick?”

“yes,” you grin, “i like these movies.”

“of all movies—”

“my house, my rules,” you grin cheekily, “you can pick the movies as soon as you start paying the bills.”

“wow,” he deadpans, “stooping to use my financial status against me? i thought you were better than this.”

“oh suguru,” you sigh dramatically, grabbing a bag of chips from the table, “you don’t know me at all.”

all things considered, you think it’s a rather enjoyable experience. it’s not as fun without satoru’s stupid comments that you pretend to hate, but suguru provides his own commentary that earns a giggle out of you here and there too—although his are not meant to be funny. but that’s the appeal of it, you think. 

“she should have picked gale,” he mumbles. you raise a brow.

“peeta was always there for her, did you miss the rain scene?”

“so was gale,” he says smoothly, grabbing a chip from your bag and making you scowl.

“gale killed her sister,” you point out, “and a lot of other people too. he was ruthless. she needed peeta.”

“gale did what he had to do,” suguru mumbles. 

suddenly, it doesn’t really feel like you’re discussing the movie anymore. it feels more than that. it feels sickening—the air is heavy, and your throat is dry and god, you just wanted a movie night and not this heaviness as you talk about stuff from the past without actually talking about it. 

you blink before turning to your chips, playing around with the bag as you shrug. 

“in the end he didn’t get katniss, did he?”

suguru studies you for a moment, stares a little too deep into you that you start to feel the urge to bolt to your room and go to bed. 

“guess not,” he says quietly, “guess that’s the one regret he has, huh?”

you think for a second, as suguru stares at your eyes with something you can’t quite read, that you might cry. you might cry and throw that half-empty can of soda in his face for speaking in codes and making you question what he means and remember your past. you might cry because suguru could’ve always gotten you—in fact, he had you.

it’s not fair. nothing is, but you can’t help but dwell on it.

“i’m going to bed. it’s late,” you mumble after a few moments, standing. he only nods, staring at the tv as the credits roll. when you make it to your room and the door shuts behind you, you debate clicking the lock in place. 

in the end, you don’t lock the door. suguru climbs into bed with you once more later that night, shaking slightly from his nightmare but calmer than usual. he’s still gone by the time morning comes, and you still never mention it.

it hits you one night that maybe he still has you—maybe you never let him stop having you, no matter what you say.

————————————————

suguru is good at cleaning while you’re away. you have to go out and do adult things like breadwinning and grocery shopping and bill paying. he dusts and cleans and even takes out the trash when you’re home to monitor him as he steps two feet out of your front door. sometimes, because you like to get on his nerves, you accidentally mess up a corner of the house just as he cleans it, laughing as he shoots you an unimpressed look. 

“stop getting crumbs on the floor,” he mumbles, “i just vacuumed.”

“you make a good malewife,” you giggle, “vacuuming and everything. how cute.”

“don’t call me that,” he grumbles, sitting down on the couch. 

“but you missed a spot,” you point to the crumbs you’ve sprinkled from your fingers as you snack away, making him glare. “failwife.”

“i’m going to divorce you and take everything,” he snaps, making you snort as you put your hands up in surrender.

“you don’t have to, you know,” you murmur, “clean, i mean. i can handle it.”

“i think i should carry my weight around here,” he shrugs, “since you are basically sugar babying me around for now.”

“dangerous curse user to the world, but sugar baby to me,” you tease, pulling a chuckle out of him as he rolls his eyes. 

sometimes it’s nice to have his company. suguru is good with banter like that, he’s not annoying like satoru where you run in circles. suguru makes you laugh from your belly, makes the hiccups catch in your throat as you double over. he’s always been like that, always known how to make laughter pour from your lips and trickle down your chin. it’s comforting to know he still knows how. it leaves a small amount of bitterness that he’s still able to make you feel like this. 

“by the way, next time you go shopping, take me with you,” he says casually, “i need to buy stuff for my hair. it’s growing.”

“you’ll finally see the sun just for your hair?” you gasp, “who knew that’s all it’d take?”

despite the playfulness in your words, there’s still shock. suguru is willingly stepping foot outside your house. he’s finally choosing to return to life after living like a recluse no matter how many times you and satoru have tried to beg him to get up and go somewhere. the most you can get out of him is a walk around the neighborhood before he goes back to wandering your home and hiding away in his room. 

suguru is returning to life, his life, and you can’t help but wonder where that leaves room for you.

“my hair is my charm,” he reasons, “wouldn’t you agree?”

there’s a smirk on his lips when he asks—it’s like he’s seventeen and teasing you again, giving you that unfairly flirty smile that used to make you stutter as a kid. back when you were hopelessly in love. back when it was you, suguru, and the world in your corner. back when you had dreams of your future, practically giggling as you planned it away in a notebook. 

suguru was always perfect like that, the kind of guy you could only dream about. he’s always been handsome—he’s always been the center of attention everywhere you went. you used to huff about it, about all the attention he managed to get from walking into a room alone. but then he’d smile, give you that tender look of his as he’d chuckle, and you’d be hopeless again. 

he shouldn’t have that effect on you anymore after over a decade. but he does. it’s cruel, the way the universe works. it’s like there’s a magnet that pushes you together no matter how far you try to go, still pulled by gravity straight into his awaiting eyes and devilish smile.

“i cut your hair off once, i can do it again,” you huff. he laughs, it’s good-natured and kind. 

“i was a bit heartbroken when i realized it was so short, i have to admit,” he says, “i didn’t look like me.”

“you looked good,” you say quietly, “i think you’d make anything work, to be honest.”

“yeah?” he grins, “any requests? i might consider it if it’s you.”

“oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, “how about shaving your head bald? let's see how much charm you have without all that hair.”

“i could charm you without the hair still, couldn’t i?” he winks. 

it’s unfair how he acts like normal. like a few months in your home undoes everything he’s ever committed, all the atrocities he’s caused. the way he flirts with you feels like you’re his again. the way he’s aged and changed feels like you’re meeting someone new. you don’t understand how suguru is so natural with that—with seamlessly falling back into a rhythm with you like nothing has changed at all.

deep down, you know that suguru is just moving on with his life. he’s making the most of what he can. he can’t die, satoru would never let him have a peaceful death after all this. he can’t go back to the way things used to be, whether that’s his sorcery days or his curse user days, and he certainly can’t start over. so he’s making do with what he has—which is very little in reality.

it’s you, your home, and the biweekly visits from satoru and occasionally shoko. so he weaves you seamlessly into his life and treats you with a sense of normalcy you can’t hope to treat him with. maybe it’s because suguru was actually able to move on after he left. 

it’s the part you hated him most for. for building a family with new people. for having two girls that he raised as daughters. for finding people to follow him and trust. suguru, after he walked away from everything he ever knew, actually did something with his life—even if it could hardly be considered good. 

you? you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of denial until clawing your way back out was too impossible, until you had to leave behind everything you’ve ever known to get away from the remnants of his existence. 

it’s easy for him to weave you back into his life because he chose to cut you loose. it feels damn near impossible to let him weave back into yours after he tore himself from the edges and frayed away. 

“don’t do that,” you sigh, making him frown.

“do what?”

“you know what, suguru,” you pinch your nose in frustration, “stop acting like things are normal.”

“things are definitely not normal,” he snorts bitterly, “i think needing your approval to take the trash out is not equal to normal.”

“then why are you acting like…” you trail off, unsure.

“like what?” he raises a brow. 

“like we never changed,” you slam your hands down on the couch in exasperation. 

he stares at you for a minute, blinks once, then twice, and then furrows his brows.

“well, of course we changed,” he mumbles in confusion, “i know that—”

you shouldn’t have said anything. you quickly realize that. suguru is not trying to act like things are normal—he’s trying to be civil, and you’re just a fool. a fool who looks too deeply into everything and assumes what you want to out of things and god, you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your one and only ex-boyfriend in over a decade who was once dead and somehow came back to the land of the living.

of course, he knows things are not the same. he doesn’t want what you think he does. it’s been years and suguru has moved on—he had already moved on all those years ago, and you’re the only one here that is still focused on the past. and now he knows it too. 

you stand before he can finish, nodding as you stare down instead of meeting his eyes, pretending to adjust your clothes. 

“right, of course you do,” you nod, “i don’t know why i said that. just ignore me, i’ll be going to my room now. i have…things to do, so i’ll be—”

“hang on,” he frowns, hand grabbing your wrist, “i don’t mean it like that,” he says gently.

fuck geto suguru for being so confusing and fuck him for being nice about it too. 

“you can let go, suguru,” you pull at your wrist, “forget what i said, i wasn’t thinking—”

“i still feel the same,” he cuts you off, making your eyes widen, “if that’s what you mean. i never stopped.”

never stopped—that’s almost worse than moving on. how could he have felt the same all those years and still never come back?

“that does not help even a little,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “that makes this so much worse, do you see that?”

“i know,” he sighs, “i’m sor—”

“don’t say you’re sorry,” you grit your teeth, “we both know you’re not.”

“maybe not,” he admits, “i had to try. and that meant leaving—i’m sorry that’s not what you wanted.”

“it’s not!” you turn around, pulling your arm out of his grasp—suguru, for what it’s worth, takes the shove to his chest like a champ. “of course i didn’t want you to leave and kill a bunch of people and have an execution stamped on your forehead and live your life without me.”

“i know—”

“and now you’re back. back! in my house, eating my food and sleeping in my bed for half the night and i just have to act like this is normal. how is any of this normal?” 

“it’s not,” he agrees. he’s calm. so calm, it almost makes you mad. why is he so calm? “nothing about anything in our lives is normal. it never was.”

“you ruined my life,” you blink back tears. he smiles sadly, taking a step closer.

“i guess i can take the blame for that,” he nods, hands finding their way to your hips. against your better judgment, you lean half your weight against his body. this is bad, very bad—but it’s also the best thing ever. 

being close to suguru feels like the sun’s heat tearing through your skin—it’s warm. it’s pleasant. it leaves you parched and drained with a dry throat. but still, you need it to survive. 

“why did you come back?” you ask tiredly. his hand finds the small of your back, rubbing slow circles.

“i don’t know,” he hums, “i didn’t really get a say. maybe i was always meant to, who knows?”

you look at him at that—tilt your head to get a good look at his features. his eyes are more tired, and his cheeks are a bit more sunken in compared to the youthful flesh you remember him with. his hair isn’t as healthy, and his forehead has the slightest traces of pale marks from the scars. but he’s still suguru—and you have always loved suguru, even if he gives you every reason to hate him.

“you make my life unreasonably difficult,” you mutter.

he hums, smiling. “can i?” he asks breathlessly, pleadingly. you stare at his eyes, he stares at your lips. you know what he wants—but fuck, you can’t let him have it so easy. 

“can you what?” you ask, raising a brow slowly.

“are you really gonna make me say it?” he grunts, lips almost curled into a pout. it’s cute, the way he looks longingly at your lips—it’s so cute and beautiful and dangerous all at once, just like suguru. 

“yes,” you say, “yes i am. i deserve to hear it suguru, after everything you put me through. you…you left me. i wasn’t enough for you. i mourned you. i grieved a body i never even saw. do you know what that does to a person? to lose them not once but two times? the least you could do is tell me what you want,” your voice wavers just a little. 

it shakes for the lost time. for the moments you’ll never have. for the memories you lost. for the past that’s tainted. time is cruel like that. but that’s the beauty of it all—the fragility. it’s like sand falling through the cracks of your fingers, every grain slipping from your reach but still soft and soothing against your skin as it falls. everything fades over time, everything starts to hurt one way or another. but it stops. it heals. it starts over. the sand fills the cup of your palms again, warm and delicate and just as beautiful as before it crumbled. 

“can i kiss you?” he asks desperately, “please?”

“kissing me is not a temporary thing,” you shake your head, “not anymore. it’s for good. only for good.”

“i want to kiss you for good,” he nods, hands digging into your hips impatiently. you’re close. you’re too far. he can feel you, smell you, hear your unsteady breaths. but it’s not enough. he needs to devour you, taste you on his tongue, and melt you with his touch. “i won’t stop this time,” he promises. 

“you better not,” you sniffle, tears blurring your vision. you hated suguru for leaving you. you hated him for coming back to you like this. you never stopped loving him, never will stop loving him—and maybe that’s what love is. when the darkness is worth trekking through for the afterglow of the light. “if you fucking leave me again, you’re dead to me. i don’t care how many times you come back to life. you’re dead to me.”

“okay,” he agrees through a shaky chuckle, “i suppose i deserve that. let me kiss you, yeah?”

“yeah,” you breathe.

he kisses you—years too late, he kisses you. it feels like you’re teenagers again. it feels different and foreign. you know this feeling like the back of your hand. you don’t understand what this sensation is anymore. it’s new. it’s old. it’s perfect. it hurts. suguru is here. he promised not to leave—you don’t know if you believe him, but you’re going to trust that finally, for once, you are enough. 

you’re enough to make him happy. to give him a sense of purpose. to keep him swimming when his limbs start to sink. 

finally, for once, you’re enough. 

“i love you,” he whispers against your mouth, breathing the words into you like he’s offering you the air from his lungs, “i never stopped. i promise.”

“you don’t deserve to hear it from me,” you murmur back, panting against his lips, “not yet.”

“fair enough,” he chuckles, “you sure know how to leave a guy waiting.”

“i learned from the best,” you shoot back.

he grins—suguru smiles, heartfelt and real. life is full of misery, it’s painful, and nothing fucking makes sense. everything is cruel. everything dies no matter how carefully you water the roots. there’s always something, someone, ready to tear it from the earth. but if you keep planting the seeds, suguru will keep watering. 

maybe something kind can bloom from that, something big enough for him to hide under the shade when the scorching heat of tragedy becomes too much. 

in this world or in the jujutsu world; in this life or in the next. suguru is yours.

“why am i here?” he asks gently, his face digging into your neck. you hold him, cradling the back of his head as you hum. 

“because i need you here. will you stay?”

“yes,” he murmurs, “i think i’ll stay.”

hi. i have been working on this since march. its still not how i envisioned it to be originally but that's okay. i had fun writing it and it means a lot to me even tho its kind of. well....cliche LMAO like everything i write. but. i enjoy the cliches okay ?? i do. kxljchskdf hope u guys didn't hate it </3

also the fic banner is …. not the greatest. just ignore it ok

[lowkeyremi]

jjk men and aftercare ft. Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Toji, and Geto.

a/n: I saw something like this awhile ago and forgot to write abt it but here I am now babyyyy (there is already a part 2 in progress bc i wanna do 10 characters lmaoo) also not proofread bc im tired :P

cw: really suggestive, established relationships, how they are after sex basically :)

Gojo Satoru

When you two first started hitting third base Gojo was all about himself and about how he felt. When you had cleaned yourself up and prepared for bed that night Satoru finally realized something was wrong.

"What's wrong, babe? I thought you liked it??" He asks, worried about his performance in bed. Your silence prompts him to try and figure out what he had done wrong, and honestly he couldn't even think of anything.

"Pleaseeee tell me. I won't know if you don't say anything." Those invasive thoughts that tell you, "you don't matter to him." start to attack your brain once again. He's way out of your league you start to think.

"Aftercare. You didn't even offer to help me clean up, Satoru." Saying it out loud makes you sound kind of petty in your opinion but it does matter.

"OH. Shit baby I'm so so so so sorry!!!!! I- It's just-" He cuts himself off and tries to reword his sentence, "Well, back then I.. I was sleeping around so my pleasure was the only thing that mattered to me. It's different.. you know? Dating. I'm still working out everything. I won't forget next time I promise."

He'd been telling the truth because from then on he always went all out with aftercare. He would run you a bath with your favorite salts and oils, he'd make you your favorite snacks, he'd even cuddle you afterwards until you fell asleep. (rich boyfriend privileges)

Choso Kamo

He'd been waiting so long to finally sleep with you for the first time so he had done all his research prior to the day. He was looking at your dilated pupils, messy hair, and the cum that sat on your stomach.

"Okay so, according to the article I read, I should run you a hot bath, yeah?" He asks nervously.

A small smile braces your lips. In all honesty you probably should have expected this much from Choso. He wants to make sure everything is perfect.

"You looked up aftercare???" You sit up on the bed and a back cramp decides to hit right then and there. As soon as he hears your groan he sprints the the kitchen, only to return with a heat pad.

"Heat pad for cramps?" He's truly nervous, and eager to please you, the love of his life.

"Thank you, Cho. I'll take you up on that bath."

"Of course, I'll get in with you if that's okay." The smile on your face is enough of an answer.

Nanami Kento

YOU ARE WINNING!!!!

Massages, baths, homemade snacks, you name and he'll do it for you. In his mind it's the least he can do for you, because you treat him so well and give him that pretty pussy he loves so much.

"Right here?" He's currently working those skilled fingers into your tight muscles after bending you every which way.

"Ohhh... yes right there, baby. Hurts so muchhhh." You whine and moan at the same time. At this point you two have already bathed and he's made sure to moisturize your body leaving you clean and refreshed.

He seemed to notice the way you limped and asked if you need anything. The sex was good really, but you didn't want to tell him that folding you in half wasn't the best idea. Oh, but he's persistent would not leave you alone until you told him what was wrong.

Once you told him he had immediately sat you down, picked up your favorite lotion and started to work out the kinks in your body.

"I'm so sorry, again." He mumbles quietly.

"Stop apologizing, Kento. These things happen. At least I know to stretch before hand next time." His face softens at your giggles and he presses a small kiss to your thigh.

"Oh do not get me started." A smile creeps up his face, while blush slowly spreads across yours.

Toji Fushiguro

BOOOOOO no aftercare. well maybe not much at least.

Has not properly cared for a woman since his late wife but he realizes if he wants you to stay he'll have to fix that.

At first he would throw a wet rag at you and give a simple, "here clean up." When he got out the shower he was genuinely confused why you were no longer at his apartment.

As soon as you picked up he could tell you were pissed, "What do you want, Fushiguro."

He's a little shocked, did not expect that from you, "I'm your boyfriend so it's Toji and not Fushiguro. The hell is your problem??"

The silence is so loud. For a second he thought you'd hung up on him. "Hello??"

"I'm giving you some time to think about that dumbass question and figure out why I'm mad at you." He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes too. He's lucky you can't see it.

"Ugh, I don't have time to play the damn guessing game. You're always mad about the little things.. what is it?" He's running through anything he could have possibly done wrong recently.

"Toji, you threw a fucking wet washcloth at me and told me to clean myself up. I'm your girlfriend, not one of your one night stands!" There it is, and the bad part is he doesn't even see what's wrong with that. (at first)

"I don't even give them something to clean up with, I just leave. But damn if you want me to get all fancy and shit I'll try." He scratches his head and begins to wonder why women are so hard to please.

Let me tell you he's no Nanami, but it's getting better. Still falls asleep afterward most times tho :/

Geto Suguru

You do it yourself for the most part, and here's why.

He's over here washing you up in the tub and he can't stop staring at your soapy titties and it just leads to more sex.

It's never just aftercare with him. He's always chasing more. Like that time you asked him to massage your legs after you two had finished fucking in the tub.

"Yeah shit why not? Lotion or oil??" He asks looking through your products.

"Uhhh lotion's fine." You'd grabbed your phone to see if your mother left you a voicemail which she did. She talked about how you need to pick up the phone or at least text her your alive if you're not gonna pick up. You were NOT going to pick up earlier though. Suguru likes to tease and you learned that the hard way when he was eating you out while you were discussing group bonding dinner ideas with your boss over the phone.

Anyway, he made his way to the bed with your lotion and all things went to hell. It was slow at first, nothing too sensual, then of course he had to slip a finger in your pussy and you sat there and stared.

"We are not doing this, we just got out of the bath." You were so serious, but so was he. (you were also aroused so)

"Another bath never hurt anybody, 'fraid of a little water baby??"

(such an annoying whore)

[haechvn]

Dating Shuri Udaku Headcanons

Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader

Warning: Fluff, Toxic!Shuri, Angst and Smut since yall nasty asf

Summary/Request: I got so many requests for an update so here it is!

Word Count: 1k words

Author’s Note: I decided to make her mean since you hoes wanna be treated like shit or whatever. I'm getting back into my groove with this one for sure. 18+ MDNI fr or imma beat yall ass. NEED MORE SHURI GIFS WTH

Taglist: @inmyheadimobsessed @theblacksuccubus @melodykisses @blackhottie25 @tonakings @coalmistyy @szalipcombo @prettyluhlaiiii @yelenabelovasgf @callmeoncette @clqrosmgc @theblacksuccubus @cherios @shuris-whore @nut4shuri @gaspyghosttt @elliesdinosauar @idkhersposts @ziayamikaelson @trinthebean @sleepingnova @yunhofingers

Credits: @anitalenia for the super cute dividers get into itttt

Fluff 

Cooks breakfast for you every morning after the two of you have sweet and reckless nights together 

Loves getting the two of you matching sets of grillz. Gold, silver, diamond studded. It doesn't matter

Brings you alongside her for all of her council meetings as she truly values your opinion and wants you to be involved and know your role in leading the nation with her

Has a throne for you next to hers 

Trains you with the Dora because she doesn’t want what happened last time with Namor to ever repeat itself

Buys you whatever you want right off each and every runway during all the major Fashion Week shows

Always get the biggest section when y’all got out and you betta be shaking that ass cause she gon be throwing them bills babyyyy

The amount of decorated hotel rooms you get from her is ridiculoussss. She’ll decorate a whole hotel for you just because she loved seeing your smile in the morning.

Always has her hand in yours no matter what the two of you are doing. Even hold your hand while you two brush your teeth

Never breaks eye contact with you while the two of you are speaking

Has more that 100 nicknames for you

Toxic/Angsty 

Purposely starts arguments with you because it turns her on to see you riled up and she can’t stop thinking about you putting her back in her place

Used a bit too much of her strength on you during training and you had to stay in the hospital for a few nights. She locked herself in her room and couldn’t even stand to look at you when you were released. 

Sometimes she lacks empathy because she believes she’s gone through the worse shit. She definitely gaslights you sometimes and walks away if you complain to her about having family issues

“Wow. It’s so sad you argue with your mom everyday. Where’s mine? Oh yea right. I’m done listening”

Tries to deny that she felt anything for RiRi but will constantly talk about how beautiful she is just to get you jealous. You end up beating her ass bc wtf

One of those lesbians that doesn't like when you talk to other women bc why the fuck would you?

Will look you dead in the eyes and tell you that you aren’t more important than her work and you should just leave her alone and spend the money she gives you. She sent 2 mil to your account while you stormed out of the lab

She’ll deny you sex because she didn’t like the way you spoke to the Dora earlier that morning. You said hi 

She sometimes embarrassed by the lack of strength you have. Like tighten up tf

“Can you stop touching me? Even the Dora don’t smother me this much.”

Hates when you constantly run your hands through her hair like she didn’t just get it done

Kisses her teeth when you try to shake your ass and it doesn’t move the way she want it too

“Try harder maybe? Ugh just stop actually. You look cringe doing that” LIKE WHERE'S YOUR ASS MA'AM????

Smut

Shuri likes when you eat her pussy with her panther suit on. Yes. That part is cut out 

She has different grillz for eating your pussy and then ones for eating you ass— SHE A BOTTOMFEEDAAAA

Shuri loves pressing her kimoyo beads against your clit and sending intense vibrations there. Rose toy who???

She eats your pussy at night sometimes because if you look hard enough while she’s making your head spin, her inner bottom lip glows softly with her vibranium tattoo, being the only source of light in the room

LOVES WHEN YOU DRILL HER SHIT TO THE POINT THAT SHE CANT BREATHE AND TRIES TO GRASP AROUND BUT SHE CANT BC THE VIBRANIUM CUFFS TOO STRONG EVEN FOR HER SO SHE HAS TO BEG YOU TO RELEASE HER EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS YOU WON’T AHHH

Can literally eat you out for hours and against your (consented) will, she definitely does

RIDES YOU IN THE NASTIEST SLOPPIEST WAY LIKE SHE LOVES SEEING YALL CREAM MIX AND IS OBSESSED WITH HOW STICKY SHE IS AND HOW MUCH STICKIER YOU ARE UGH SHE PRESSES HER LIPS AGAINST YOUR AS IF SHE CAN GO INSIDE YOU BYEEEEEEE

SHE AINT NO FAKE GAY NO MA’AM

Wakes you up most mornings with her lips sucking and teasing your breast bc babe she can’t get enough

BOTTOM!SHURI LOVES WHEN YOU SIT ON THE THRONE AND SHE TRIES TO MAKE HERSELF CUM OVER AND OVER RIDING YOUR THIGH WHILE YOU SIT ON HER THRONE OH WOW

SHE WHINES SO MUCH AND IS NOT QUIET AT ALL. Constantly getting complaints from everyone in the palace

Likes getting her ass devoured. SORRY NOT SORRY 

Kissing you alone get her wetter than river Niger omgggg (I’m African and this how we say it PLS)

Constantly talking you through EVERYTHING she does to you

“You take my fingers so well”

“Hmm, you know I love when you squeeze around me like that. Fuck, do that again.” (THE WAY SHE ROLLS HER R’S UGHHH)

“Please, I can’t take it. I-I… Fuck you feel so good. Don’t stop fucking me, put me in my place”

Never breaks eye contact with you when she’s drilling the shit out of you 

LOVES WHEN YOU FUCK HER FACE WITH ALL THE STRAPS SHES MADE IN THE LAB

Literally she’ll be in the lab with her goggles on with all her tools scattered all of the table and gets wet picturing you standing over her and using her mouth like a toy OMG

Loves when you tie her up with pink and purple ribbons and stuff her mouth with your panties BYE

LIKES BEING BLINDFOLDED AND WEARING FLUFFY EARMUFFS SO YOU CAN DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING TO HER AND GIVING YOU FULL CONTROL

WHITE FLUFFY EARMUFFS WITH PINK RIBBONS AND HER CURLY HAIR SHAKING AROUND EVERY TIME SHE MOVES

[wisheslost]

A most delightful first day.

Wherein you, a new nurse for the Fortress of Meropide, have quite the interesting meeting with the flirtatious Duke and Prison Warden, Wriothesley, only you find out much later he's the duke, and the interesting meeting unravels quickly into much more.

cws : fastburn? like the opposite of slowburn basically bc im impatient. violence, not described in detail but wriothesley gets injured pretty bad . if you find i should add more warnings please tell me

a/n : not beta read im sorry i abandoned this in the middle of writing then had the urge to come back. please tell me if theres any mistakes

wc : 3.2k

Now that all the trivial paperwork was out of the way and you were finally recognized as a nurse affiliated with the Fortress of Meropide, it was just the meeting with the Duke that was left. roaming around searching for him wasn't the best option— hell, it was probably the worst out of all of them. but what else were you supposed to do? ask someone? ...surely the Duke would send for you if you lingered here long enough no? but then again, you don't know what the duke was like, maybe he'd reprimand you for arriving late instead, so you thought to not take any risks, and simply ask the next person you see. it's your first day of work anyway, so it wouldn't be too bad to engage with people you'll be seeing on the daily now either.

Not soon after spotting a young man who seemed to have quite the height, a somewhat tan skin tone and seemed to be in possession of woah? a vision? in a place like this, was kind of a surprise to you. Nevertheless, you approached that man to ask of the duke's office, only for him to be the one to start conversation.

"Hey, you must be the new nurse, right? It's a pleasure to have you, I'm Wriothesley, D-"

"Could you please take me to the Duke 's office, wriothesley?" you didn't realise until it was too late that he was going to say something after,but since he didn't seem to mention it either, how about just move on?

A little chuckle managed to escape his lips, followed by a "Sure I can." to your question. On the way there to his office, he asked you an array of questions, like why you were here, what made you work here, yada yada, but most importantly, he said, "The Duke's honestly a menace. I wouldn't get too close to him if I were you." now, you won't lie to yourself, that did make you much more interested in that duke than you previously were.

And in no time did you reach the Duke's office. Wriothesley lead the way up the stairs of what seemed to be the most grand part of the fortress, asking if you want to have tea with him later after you're done talking to the duke, which you politely declined, not because you didn't like the man—he was quite fun, yes, but tea? that awfully bitter liquid isn't entering your body anytime soon. not with wriothesley, not even with the duke.

now here we are, up the stairs and finally near the, what you assumed to be, the Duke's desk. But the duke isn't there. on the desk nor anywhere near. up until Wriothesley sits down on his chair and speaks,

"Here is the Duke of the Fortress of Meropide,Wriothesley. Though i prefer if you called me 'Your Grace' instead, people here usually refer to me as such. Please, feel free to ask any questions you have, I have already asked mine."

Oh, OH—

"Oh sir i- Your Grace i am so very sorry!! Really i- That time.. I shouldn't have cut you off.. Again, im really sorry!"

While you're worried sick, Mister Wriothesley here, or rather His Grace, is laughing his ass off. Does he find joy seeing you like this? well, whatever. When his laughing fit finally ends, and he sighs "Oh dear", and hes now looking at you, waiting earnestly for you to speak and break the silence. Unfortunately for him.. you're far too indulged staring at that pretty face of his, not remembering you were just asked if you had any inquiries by him. and so his voice beams once more,

"So....? Any questions?"

"Oh. Sorry, I got distracted, wri- Your grace, I don't." you knew it was best to call him by what everyone else calls him by, but 'Wriothesley', though you spoke for very little time, just came out easier.

"Really? well, okay" his answer was quite non chalant, because obviously, why would he want to be asked questions anyway, but it didn't seem like him— "I'm honestly surprised you have nothing to ask about." and there it is.

"No really, I don't want to bother you anymore. I shall take my leave, Please, Have a good day your grace." you excused yourself out that awkward situation somehow, and soon after heard a faint "You're not a bother y'know!~" from his side.

Cut to 2 a.m. in the morning next day, and you're in the infirmary cleaning glass jars, while the Head Nurse is probably sleeping her time away in the overworld. Not that you were jealous, but really, no soul here gets injured that seriously *ever*,yet this one garde told you you still need to stay awake the whole night. However odd that was, it was definitely not odder than— you stopped thinking the instant you felt a pair of hands creeping up to your waist, scaring you into dropping that poor glass jar and shrieking for your life, only for the owner of those hands to shut you up with one of the very hands that was on your waist just a moment ago.

"Oh c'mon.. You're in a prison of all places. Should you not be the least bit aware of your surroundings? who knows what might happen any moment... I wouldn't like to lose my new nurse so quick." and detaching his hand from your mouth, not that that could garner a response from you... what did he mean by "his nurse" anyway ? was this an attempt at flirting ? whatever it was, it was not much of your concern right now, it was the fact his voice wasn't like the one you heard before on your way to the Duke's office, or even in there, instead now it had a fatigued intonation to it, a voice that practically screamed "i want to sleep.", almost... sultry in a way.

And so he sat down on one of the beds, taking you by the waist to sit down as well on the same while he made himself more comfortable and laid almost completely down, and spoke, "First day on the job and you're already breaking things and screaming in the middle of the night.. are you really fit for a prison?"

Obviously, you were not fully capable, definitely not as capable as Sigewinne, but still,having someone say something like that directly is quite discouraging. and so you retorted, "Your Grace, it is actually my 2nd day on the job. And also, i feel anyone, prison premise or not, would be scared to be suddenly caressed by cold hands at 2 in the night. Though mayhaps that's just my opinion."

"Ahh dear, you're so smart .. it's a shame i was merely joking, I know the fortress is not such a prison-ly place anyway, and most if not everyone is just trying to get by and make it to the end of their sentence peacefully. I was merely testing you." to which you only nodded, and spoke "Sure. Well.. why are you in here at such a late time anyway? From the looks of it you're not sick, and i dont see any injuries..."

"You want me sick and injured? aw c'mooon, dear, im not even that bad of a duke, am i?"

"Your grace, please don't be silly. Are you here because you feel sick or just to bother me?"

"Ha! after i said you weren't a bother! how disheartening... I was just curious why you were awake this time of the night, though. What's keeping you up so late? or should i say Who?"

"Am i not supposed to be?"

"Of course not dear, did someone tell you you do?"

"Ah.. uhm. Not really, just a mistake on my part.."

"Hm? One of the gardes didn't tell you your duty requires you to stay up all night?"

How he came to know about that was none of your concern right now, what he'd do about it mattered more. You didn't want some helpless garde to be scolded off by The Duke because you were stupid enough to believe him. Surely that's not going to make the people of meropide have a good impression of you? Amidst your train of thought, his voice interrupted—

"What? Don't want a garde scolded off because you believe it'll harm that reputation of yours? awh dear, how cute. just like your face." this nuisance of a man and his attempt at flirting was somehow worse than his constant teasing, and the fact he accurately guessed what you were thinking was completely overshadowed by that "dear" and "cute" he threw in in his sentence.

"Too flattered?" was his response to your speechlessness. Being honest, you were too flattered. I doubt even archons know why this man was so coyly talking to you, did he do this to everyone?

"I... am not sure how to respond to that." was all you could manage to put together in your flustered, confused, but flustered state.

"I can stop it, y'know. If you're not feeling comfortable, just tell me. Whether that be with my way of talking, or someone else's."

"No it's fine.. really- I don't have any problems."

"Oh? So you're enjoying this? Haha, didn't know i had such charm." saying this, he rose up he was laying on, to come face to face with you, still sitting on the bed, but now, his face a bit too close to yours.

"I'll stop bothering you now. Go to sleep, you're gonna need to stay awake tomorrow."

You didn't make much of that statement, and you simply bid him sweet dreams as he went off to, what you presume, to be his office. That is, until, tomorrow actually came by, and near evening, you were greeted by none other than The Duke himself leaning on the doorframe of the infirmary, who, instead of his usual state, was now in a much more... uh, ragged? state. His vest not even present, and half his shirt ripped away, with his fresh wounds on display along with his old scars. Ah.... and you thought the Pankration Ring didn't allow such incidents to take place. So that's why he told you you need to stay awake.

"Dear, I'm here again to bother you." came in his voice from the door, and you stood up in concern. As far as you were aware of, Pankration ring fights were not supposed to get this serious. So it was either outside of the ring, or maybe the duke was allowed to get more serious in the Pankration ring? That became less of your concern as you saw a drop of blood drip down his cheek from a fresh wound. Gods, he was in such a pathetic state, blood everywhere, vest barely intact.. "Hey, its not appropriate to stare at someone in this state, is it?" he said, making you suddenly aware to what you should be doing. You're a nurse here, you should be patching him up, not staring into his soul while he's standing there in pain. "Your grace- I- Please, come with me to the bed. Do you want help walking? Oh lord why am i asking- Forgive me, I'm so sorry-" and a chain of sorries followed as you wrapped your arm around his waist in your best attempt to provide support to his frame, as you walked over to the nearest bed in the infirmary with Wriothesley's arm on your shoulder, grabbing it for support, though maybe a bit too hard, you were sure, this would at the least leave a bruise.

Arriving to the bed, you sat him down and knelt down to take a few things out from a nearby drawer, bandage, antiseptic disinfectant and a pair of scissors. And Wriothesley had his eyes set on your figure the entire time, not that you had noticed.

When you came back to him, you had to get him to undress in order for you to wash away his wounds, and before you could think to form an appropriate sentence regarding that- your tongue had already mumbled out "Please undress." to that poor duke. Oh lord, this was going to be a long, looong day.

A smirk crept up Wriothesley's face as he looked up at you, "Dear, I'm not sure I can... 'tleast not in this state. Would you help me?" and so his sly little smile shifted to a more puppy eyed face, glancing at you oh so sweetly. "Yes, Your grace." and you started by first taking his tie off, "I'm being honest here, I'm not sure why i said that earlier. I apologise. It was definitely very.. stupid of me." were the words you spoke as you were unbuttoning his shirt— the last piece of clothing left. His vest was mostly torn apart, so you didn't need to unbutton it or even put much effort in taking it off. Wriothesley didn't respond to that. You knew, it was because you were right, he didn't say anything because it would make you feel worse, but silently, surely, he agreed. Or atleast that's what you thought. Now here he sat, his upper body completely rid of any clothing, the cold air hitting his wounds.

"I'll wash your wounds now." as you went back and forth between the infirmary's bathroom to get water, the process was a bit slower than should be.

"Shouldn't you take me to the bathroom? Would be faster, no?"

"It would, yes. But it would mean you would have to go there, you wouldn't like sitting on that tiny ass- I mean, very small stool in the bathroom, trust me. Would just be uncomfortable."

"Awh. Didn't know my nurse was so, so nice. Thank you dear."

You finally washed what seemed to be the last wound, and god was it big. On your way back to him from the bathroom, you thought you would finally ask, "By the way, Your grace... I've been meaning to ask— What's with the 'my nurse' ? I'm not only your nurse, you know. I am to tend to any person in this fortress." was the best you could express your curiosity as you applied antiseptic on his wounds, recieving a little wince from him along with the answer to your question, "Well- I said that only because you were taking care of me at that moment, so you'd be my nurse then, no?"

"That is true, yes, but then what about before that? Last night? And also, the use of 'dear', to my knowledge, you don't seem to use that language or rather i should say- that word for anyone around here. Unless of course I'd be wrong and would stand corrected."

"Oh you... I'll stop, if you wish. You could have told me before‐"

"No, no. I don't mind it at all. Just want to know. Do those words hold any weight to you or are you simply throwing them around?" you said as you took the bandage out it's paper packaging, rolling it around his wound, making him wince once more, this time squeezing your right thigh out of the urge to hold on to something.

"Fuck, Sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" was all he could manage to put together, and when you took his hand in yours to put it back on your right thigh, Lord, his expression was something to see. The way he looked at you so surprised yet so... lovingly? surely, not loving. But whatever it was, it was nice, to see him so in awe. You continued dressing his wounds as he stared at your face the whole time, and, from time to time, squeezed your thigh a bit. Not sure if it was from the pain, or just because he wanted to and could.

Done with dressing the last wound on his cheek, you got up and headed to a cabinet on the opposite side of the room. "That's all. I'll get you some pain relief medication for the internal bruising, just wait a bit. it's.. it's in here somewhere.." as you searched around the cabinet. "Ah! Here!"

You took the medication to Wriothesley, who was currently sitting upright on the bed, carrying along a glass of water. As you had poured the water in the glass, you heard him say something along the lines of "Don't break it again." with a light chuckle.

As you gave him his medicine and he swallowed it down, that was the last of your duties for now. "Anything else you want me to do?"

"Sit. Here" he said, patting on the space near him as he laid down on the bed. And so you sat, who were you to deny such a simple request?

It was pin drop silence for a while after that. Just you and him looking at each other. Well, up until he averted his gaze to your thigh, where you noticed his hand hovering over it. "May i .....?" and so you took his hand in yours, and it rested on your thigh.

Then you realized, he was on his side to face you, though he shouldn't be, one of his injuries was there, quite the big one at that, and it probably hurt like hell. "I don't think you should lie on your side. Your wound.. is it not paining?" He got up then, sitting upright, though now, your faces were a bit too close, and your noses touching slightly."Then, dear, do you want me to sit like this?" You were too flustered to manage a response for that. Both of your faces were so close– too close, actually that you could feel his warm breath, that, by the way, smelled of Earl Grey Tea, and that scent seemed to mix with the antiseptic's.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" You somehow couldn't reply to that either, and only stared into his eyes, and occasionally catch a glance at his lips.

"Can't speak already huh? I haven't even kissed you yet."

"K-kiss me??"

"Sure." and so he leans in, planting in a peck on your lips and caressing your chin with, what was currently, his good hand, as in it had way less injuries than the other.

"Satisfactory?" was all he asked, that smirk back on his face, and "Not.. really" in a low voice was all you could manage after that.

"Then show me what would be more satisfactory."

"This." and what followed was by far the boldest you had ever been in your life, and good lord, it was infront of- not even infront of, to your new, and well, the only boss you've had.

But damn did his lips on yours feel so good, and his slight biting, his hand tugging at your nape made you feel like you were dreaming. Unfortunately though, even dreams come to end.

When your lips separated, he was a exhilarated but exhausted mess, his chest heaving as his fought to breathe, and so were you, and all you both could do was stare at each other, until he leaned in once again to kiss you. This time, in a satisfactory way.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, for you two, this was about to escalate much further than just that satisfaction.

[luminouslywriting]

Wishing you all the best, and thank you as always for sharing your wirk with us! Since you're still accepting requests for headcanons, how do you think our sweet, good Catholic boy Brady would handle an out-of-wedlock pregnancy?

Hi Nonny, you're so sweet :) I would LOVE to talk about this because I do have several thoughts haha. As always, my requests are open and keep sending them in! ALSO my requests are open for Band of Brothers :) Cut for length, more under the cut, mature content mentioned + some light angst sprinkled in:

-John Brady is a man who is out here and trying his best

-And unfortunately for him, a pregnancy out of wedlock is kind of his worst nightmare.....if not for the fact that it goes against his beliefs and everything he's ever grown up trying to live, then most certainly because he knows that you deserve better and his family is going to be extremely disappointed in him

-So I think there's a lot of initial guilt that pops into his mind and he can't really just get rid of. It probably lingers into his later life, tbh. Because how could he have messed up and done this to you? How was any of this fair?

-It's not that he doesn't want to marry you, it's that he wants to do things the RIGHT way and this isn't part of that right way

-I'm going to be very honest, I think that he absolutely starts scrambling to propose to you and put together a wedding—this is the 1940s, after all

-And yes, pregnancies out of wedlock did happen, but they were socially frowned upon and people were judged. And he knows that the stigma is not going to be good for you or for him.

-No matter what, even when you DO get married, people are still going to be looking down on you two and frowning upon things

-So that's a little rough in his head and he's definitely going to be beating himself up about the entire situation

-Because it wasn't like you two were actively trying for kids and he definitely should have been wearing a condom (*big sigh bc that's an oof moment*) but that had been the last thing on either of your minds when he got back from the war

-So here he is, trying to hide his guilt and trying to be supportive of you because you're the love of his life

-There would have to be a conversation about whether or not you're keeping the baby or not—and obviously he's leaving that up to you

-But that's also his kid and he's thrilled—just really upset that it can't be under happier/more socially acceptable circumstances

-The proposal is weighted down with the fact that you pretty much have to say yes—if only because you're keeping the baby and everyone will judge you if you say no

-It's very sweet and thought out

-And the wedding would happen not long after that

-And I truthfully don't think he's going to be able to fully be joyful about the situation until that little baby is being held by him for the first time and he's able to recognize that the timing was perfect and maybe God had a hand in things turning out this way....and it didn't need to be by the book

-He's still gonna feel some slight guilt over it throughout your entire marriage though.....gotta love that Catholic guilt

[wannabelife]

hello lovely!! i’m not sure if ur asks are open but this is my first req ever im a little nervy

may i please req hard!dom seungkwan who’s into cum stuffing/keeping it in u and exhibitionism? but he’s the sweetest and has amazing aftercare when he’s done bc he knows he goes really rough. i hope this is okay!! thank u so much for ur time

no problem at all, feel free to send me asks anytime !! i actually love your request !! its so hard to find ppl going for hard dom seungkwan so im just always happy to make it come true.

btw i have an one shot that has some of those things you asked, its the ride with you drabble. your ask just reminded me of it.... maybe, you'll like that one too !!

[MDNI] under the cut !! enjoy ;) >>> WARNING!!! it gets a bit too intense, so be careful if you are going to read it!! it has some spanking too <<<

you had no other choice but to bite onto the pillow. a few minutes ago, seungkwan was kissing all over your body and whispering sweet things to you. until he got up, unbuttoned his jeans while staring deep down your figure, he said "in all fours, pretty"

he handled his member, giving a few testing bumps until he was fully erect. you shamelessly stared at his naked form, toned arms and veiny hands while he was working on his cock. you were drooling over him and he knows his effect.

and now, you are here. his hands grabbing your sides harshly, his cock inside you, trusting hard and steady. he is slowly picking up his pace, your moans coming out muffled because of the pillow on your face, making him grunt.

"i want to fucking hear you, yn" he says frustrated and you whine.

you feel so embarrassed by how weak you already are, that you dont answer or do anything. and that's when a slap hits your ass as you whimper, your pussy shameless throbbing around him and he fucking scoffs, a smirk on his lips that you cant see, knowing how much you like it and how good he makes you feel.

"i said i wanna hear you" another slap on the other side and you had no choice but to face up "that's right" he praises, caressing where he slapped, to calm down the burning that it left.

he hovers over you, his member reaching more of you as he starts to trust harder and rough this time. his hands slowly caressing your lower belly until he sneaks to your center. he flicks his fingers on you, bring it to his lips right after, licking his digits dry, humming at your taste. you moan just by the sound he made and the little pop after he suck it off.

his fingers are back on your center, working on your clit this time, making you arch your back, your pussy starting to clench around him.

"feeling good?" he says, a little mock on his tone, as you start to feel dizzy, your high approaching.

then he slips out. just like that. you whine uncontrollably, your pussy wetting asking for relief. "i asked you something" he gives you no chance to protest as he is shifting your position so you can face him. your body is practically thrown, your hair spreads messyly, and your sweat is collected on your forehead.

"yes, feeling good" your voice come out low and timid as you answer him.

"you should havee said" he slips "now stay like this, wanna see this pretty face when you cum"

he goes kiss your neck and shoulders, his velvet lips meeting your throat as you throw your head back, opening space for his kisses.

"so needy, my little slut" he spits while taking his kisses down and in-between your breast.

he envelopes one of your nipples around his mouth while his hand plays with the other one.

"kwannie... please..." you whine, your clit aching.

"what's that?" he says while changing to the other nipple, sucking the flesh. you whimper, your nails meeting the skin of his back as you get sexualy frustrated. he moans with your montion, biting your nipple in response, making you squirm under him.

"i need to cum kwannie please" you beg and he hands his dick to your pussy, just slidding it up and down on you, not entering quite yet.

"please, please, please" you ask repeatedly, the overstimulation so much that you have tears forming around your eyes.

he finally enters you again, sliding so easily that he is able to start trusting without waiting for you to ajust. going fast and hard, you can't help but moan his name. the pleasure built all over again in no time. he feels so proud, hearing his name sleeping from you in every way possible, he needs you to have the best orgasms of your life and he needs to be the one to give you them.

"so fucking pretty and all mine" his voice come out raspy and you feel so close to cumming.

just when you're about to make it through, he stops again. no friction at all, just him inside you as you warm him up. you start to sob, and he laughs at your state. your form so weak and you throbbing so much, giving him such a hard time to not cum inside you already but he will never let you know that.

"FUCK! i hate you seungkwan... i- fuuuck, i need to cum" you're literally crying almost yelling. that's when something shifts on him.

"what did you just say?" he asks, hovering over you one more time, so he can hand your jaw to make you look at him.

"that i fucking hate you" you say and his grip on your face tightens.

"you're going to regret that" he spits, his tone kinda low and steady, making you glup dry. leaving two little taps on your cheeks as a warning.

he pins you down and starts to trust again, way harder than before, like you didn't know that this was even possible. your hands, finding his locks to grip on it to find some stability as he grunts.

one particular trust and your eyes roll back, hitting the sweet spot inside you, making you sob again. he goes faster, hitting your g stop repeatedly now that he has found it.

"say you're sorry" he spits, his lower lips caged in between his teeth as he's getting close too. you're out of your mind, but your ego doesn't let you say anything.

"fucking brat" he says, going back up again, his palm hitting your clit harshly when he slaps you there. you tremble under him, your legs shaking and feeling yourself all over the place.

"guess i will have to teach you how to be a good girl, hm?" he says while his hands go to your neck, leaving a bit of pressure there "say you're sorry" he demands again.

you're throbbing so much, you feel like you are going to pass out if you dont release "im sorry, kwannie. im so sorry. so sorry, kwannie" you whine to him, squirming under his touch.

he chockes you a bit more and keeps trusting on your spot "beautiful" he praises and you feel your high about to release. his dick throb inside you and that's your breaking point. you cum, so much coming out of you, the bed sheets getting wet by your cum.

he cums inside you with a low moan right after, feeling you clench and milk his cock nonstop. he collapses on you while you two try to comedown from the intense orgasm.

when your breath starts to get back to normal, he slowly sleeps out of you, you whine feeling a bit sore from the overstimulation pain.

"i know, i know" he sympathies, making the same face as you as if the pain were in him too "I'm sorry, baby" he says.

"don't be" you reply cutely.

he looks at your center, his cum sleeping slightly out of you that he immediately puts back in "lets not waste any of that. keep me warm inside you" he says, little starts in his eyes as he looks back at you and smiles at your exhausted figure.

"I'll be back" he says and you nod. seungkwan hushes to the bathroom, running the water on the bath before getting some wipes.

he goes back to you, to clean you up with the wet wipes. after he is done, he hugs your form, giving you a peck on the lips "the bath is ready for you, baby" you smile thinking how can someone shift so easily, he might be your dream come true, you're the luckiest.

"c'mon, dont get lazy now" he says, sensing that you won't get up anytime soon. he gets you up bridal stile so he can get you to the bathroom.

"will you help me?" you ask, feeling too weak to wash yourself.

"of course. leave it to me. i wash you up, pretty" he confirms, leaving sweet kisses to your neck as you both smiles.

[leewritestoomuch]

I’ll Eat My Hat

This was supposed to be cute. And it is, once you get past the topic of death.

So warning about topic of death.

Ukyo Saionji x reader

I actually hate this, but take that with a grain of salt bc I always hate what I write. If I didn’t hate it, I’ve been replaced with a ghost writer and call for help.

I promise I can write better than this. I just haven’t written anything in a while.

“And if I died?” The question was a lot darker than the previous questions and conversation. To you, the question rolled off the tongue with a giggle, looking up at him. Though to you, he was upside down, but that’s because you were laying down, head resting on his thigh, looking back and up at him. You sat up when you noticed his face fall a little bit.

“I’d hope that wouldn’t happen.” He almost whispers, a smile cracking across his face. He looks about to cry, and you realize, he’s probably thought out that scenario. And you realize you should probably just move on and drop the conversation.

“S—” You start but he cuts you off.

“But even if it did, I’d always love you.” He looks like he’s fighting hiding his face in his hands. And he is, because shouldn’t he be stronger than this? He doesn’t though, he just look at you for a moment before he speaks again. “And maybe, I’d go too. Soon enough.”

“No, I’d want you to live.” Your eyes, previously fixed on something just past him, now snap over to meet his. “Don’t give up like that.”

“Well, I’d eat my hat if that day ever came so… I don’t think we have anything to worry about.” Ukyo snickers.

“Because you don’t worry about it?” You catch him off guard.

“No. I mean, well, yes. I do, but it’s just paranoia.” He says, chuckling as he looks down at the ground.

…

That conversation feels more like a distant memory now. As you slip on and fasten up some wooden shoes to do some scavenging around the forest with Kohaku, you think back to it though. This isn’t death, so why does that conversation come to mind?

You’ve been awake for less than a week, and you’re going to war soon. And maybe you will die, then your beloved boyfriend will have to eat his hat. Of course, that’s not what he’s worried about, though.

You two weren’t together when the petrification happened, so you don’t have much of a clue where to find him. What if his statue was broken? Then what?

Questions like that float through your head for days and weeks until you’re told stories by Gen and Magma about a man who had terrifying archery skills. And it feels silly, because archery is a well respected sport in Japan, which cultural roots too, so that could have been anybody, but your mind went straight to the idea that it’s him.

They say he aimed at them, and that you find harder to believe. Your boyfriend always was intimidating, when he needed to be, but he was a pacifist. If their blood was on his hands, you know he’d never sleep well again.

Yet you find yourself asking for any sort of detail that confirms your hopes it is him, because maybe there is a good explanation for his hostility. And for why he’s working for your enemy.

(I literally do not remember the episode very well at all so I’m adding my own twist bc I’m not rewatching it rn)

Gen says they couldn’t really see him, but they know he’s got excellent hearing.

“It’s like he could hear a feather drop.” He says.

And your heart skips a beat because that’s got to be your boyfriend. Yet, time passes and nothing. You can’t just walk onto enemy lines to find your boyfriend. And on top of that, you’ve began to delude yourself that there is some other man in the area with excellent, inhuman hearing and impeccable archery skills.

You brush all that off, ignoring it for now. Even if it’s clawing at you, there is work to be done. So here you are, sitting on the cold, wooden floor of the hut. Gen and Senku were on the phone with a woman named Nikki. A self proclaimed super fan of Lillian Weinberg, as you’ve come to understand. You, being from the United States, had helped him just a little bit with his facts regarding the famous singer. He knew a lot, so did Senku, but you had input too.

When you all played the recording, she believed it, but a faint, yet stern voice cut through the air from the behind the phone. Then the phone is taken, and a familiar voice speaks. Your heart stops for a moment as you realize, the archer was your boyfriend. After barely hearing the next words he, Gen, or Senku spoke, you finally snap back to reality when you hear “we have somebody who is better at English than the both of us.”

And the microphone of the giant phone is suddenly being shoved into your hand.

“So what exactly do you want?” The line is whispered to you to say. You repeat it, trying not to stutter over your words. The line goes silent on the other end for a moment, before he speaks.

Gen and Senku exchange glances because you, as stone faced and cold as you are, have never seemed nervous before. You don’t fail to notice, but you don’t say anything.

“I don’t want blood.” He says, sounding a bit more emotional now.

“I know you don’t.” You say softly back, and confusion settles into the room.

“So I’m not crazy. It’s you?” You nod, before remembering he can’t see you to know you did.

“No, you’ve lost your mind. Now you have to eat a hat.” You chuckle.

“I just got this one.” He says.

“Alright, I don’t know how you two know each other,” Senku bluntly cuts you off. “But wrap it up, we have a negotiation to discuss? Let’s be 100% to the point here. We can do this with no blood.”

You sit back, smiling, knowing you’ll see him once this is over.

[lqfiles]

no dude bc… i didn’t see anything wrong with jaehyun announcing his surprise performance until after renjun said something… 🧍🏻‍♀️also the way haechan calls y/n sweetheart heh… hehehe like he’s such an asshole but he’s a hot asshole 😭😭

waittt what’s your mother tongueee? (and yes, Spanish is a bit hard but once you have a hang of it and practice, it’s easy. my non-spanish friends would have me teach them words in spanish, and they managed to learn surprisingly

but 9k words is crazy!! especially since it was my first time writing something that long (i was a wattpad writer first before coming here and i only wrote 1k chapters) and oh! a jaemin fic? 🤭 your brain just pops offffff

i managed to get one of my fics at 28k and omg i was going crazy, so good luck to you!! you’re gonna do so great i can’t wait for more of your works, you talented human being 🫶🏼

you’re so talented spare some talent bc the way you just… do everything, IM IN LOVEEEE lemme tuck your stories to bed, give them a nice warm cup of milk (and cookies) and just give em a kiss on the forehead

- 🫧

(cut bella’s nails today and when we finished, i tried taking a picture and she got mad at me 😔 she also ate a strawberry)

(yooo omg i forgot but ALSO dude… lemme tell you… there’s this woman that walks her dog to train him and im all for it like huge respect for her bc she’s done a good job from what ive seen, but she glares at me every time i pick up Bella bc bella doesn’t bark, she just stares until they make friends with her so i pick her up just to be respectful to the lady and her dog she’s training. but she glares at me every single time and i wanna compliment her dog but she scares me 😭)

haechan is so old man coded its quite endearing, i honestly wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with it either if it was a real tweet lmao. haechan is just a taunting little bastard.. but in an endearing way.

my mother tongue is a form of arabic but i never grew up in a country that speaks its so i’m not fluent in it at all 😓 i AM fluent in dutch tho :3 i feel like if i really committed to it, i would be able to get somewhat fluent at spanish in 2 months

SEEMS LIKE BEINF A WATTPAD WRITER WAS AN EXPERIENCE FOR EVERYONE LOLLL but yeah you truly don’t realise how much 9k is until you try to reread your work and you’re like “daaaamn i wrote a LOT.” the jaemin fic … god knows when that will get released, i’m kinda stuck on it now so we will see 😣 I CAN ONLY DREAM OF EVER REACHING 28K BRO how long does proofreading that even take?? because i know it takes me like 3 hours to finish a 20k plus fic.. YOURE AWESOME FR..

you’re so cute plsss i want to tuck YOU into bed and kiss your forehead.. will you let me?

that’s strange but maybe she is just wary of your dog, still that’s WEIRD like can’t we be welcoming? you’re both dog owners you should be bonding.. i think you should encourage bella to become friends with the dog so you have an excuse to compliment her dog, like give bella a liiiiitle push towards the dog and hope for the best lolll also her being mad at you made me chuckle, she behaves like a such a child 😭

[clay-pidgeon]

post title pending. my weird swap au

this is the post im making for scratchswap, my au where i switch the post-scratch kids with the post-scratch trolls sharing their aspect (dirk-nepeta, roxy-equius, jake-eridan, and jane-feferi) and then the pre scratch dudes get swapped accordingly. yes this bc of the Parallels between feferi and jane and then i got a whole Thing out of it. im working on classpects/ages. characters under the cut

pre-scratch trolls

note for the record i did not think much about these guys

johune peixes: i have done 0 thinking on johune so sorry. theyre swapped w meenah and everyones really confused about how that funny little guy was a huge scary empress in every other universe

rozela zahhak: the sorcerer wooooo! pretty similar to canon rose shes just really fucking strong. good friends w aranea

dayves leijon: im still not 100% sure how to go about this one tbh but he does like romance in some form. also i got in in my head hes skittish. no idea where that came from. capitalizes b (glasses) and maybe something else?

jaidli ampora: oh i actually thought about this one a little! fashion is sorta fifties inspired like cronus but shes not a greaser thats his schtick. you dont steal a mans shtick. is there a c in that word or not

post scratch trolls

jaynce peixes: feels like i should work on that name huh. anyways jaynce does Not want to be the heiress (for reasons both transgender and not) at all and is in a little bit of denial about this. i lied actually a lot of denial. may or may not be moirails w jayque havent decided. replaces e and o with -E and -O forks and spoons!

roxxie zahhak: a little more into robots n shit than coding but still does that. bit of a jack of all trades! thinks deyirks lusus (its. kity) is the most special boy in the whole wide world. probably moirails w deyirk now that i think abt it but maybe not. im on the fence abt a lot of stuff here. uses some kind of prefix, emoticons have X for eyes, replaces x sounds with x, y (as a vowel) with ie, and s w z

deyirk leijon: WORLDS MOST NORMAL MAN (lying) lives in a cave in the middle of the woods not for catgirl reasons but because this guy is going insane in solitude works best when isolated. also uses some kind of prefix for a quirk. roxxie drops off robot parts at his house every few weeks and they make a day of it theyre Pals

jayque ampora: he helps feed gloybsub or whatever her name is and hes so normal about the deaths on his conscience. really hes so normal guys cmon. normal

pre scratch kids

mimi egbert: token cis friend sorry meenah. or not idc. more mellow because dad egbert is just a normal guy and isnt raising her to be the literal queen of the world. still meenah tho

hans lalonde: i am unsure about the name but i think its fine. the ultimate horse girl (therian). keeps maplehoof in the foyer. if he had to interact with his dad for more than 20 seconds they would both implode from the sheer awkwardness. the house is big as shit they just gesture to each other when they see each other and thats fine for both of them

manu strider: wears heart shades everywhere as a sort of joke. he doesnt actually know. caps lock is broken and refuses to fix it + uses kaomoji a lot. fujoshi to transmasc pipeline haha who said that

crow harley: im stilling working on which animal to furrify cronus with. watches a bunch of old movies and picked up those speaking habits. other shit pending

post scratch kids

fifi crocker: she wants to be crockercorps new ceo sosososo bad she would make up for all of their horrible crimes against humanity by uh. shes working on it ok?

neta strider: the she/her to she/they to they/them to he/they to he/him to he/they to she/he/they to The Creature pipeline. percentage of their diet that is fish he caught w her own bare hands has been steadily increasing. is trying to buff up on history but keeps on going down wikipedia rabbit holes and rereading the nyan cat article for the thousandth time. would still do the detective pony rewrite but would get sidetracked by the lolcat metaphor for way longer

eqis lalonde: do you know how hard it is to smush equius down to four letters? i just made this name up man. anyways i dunno what to do with her but shes a girl of the horse variety

dani english: diversity win this sickly victorian orphan child is genderfluid! fucking terrified of the lusi on the island. fancies herself sort of a romantic poet

the entirety of this was brainstormed while i was bored in class for the record. still brainstorming so im gonna edit this when more shit arises

[uglypastels]

Right

I thought this was over but then i saw it pop up in my notifications again and truly had a face crack moment

Because that's all you give by leaving these kinds of comments. A very sad and empty feeling in my chest that makes me want to scream. Of course, it doesn't help that the comment was left on a fic where these were literally all the comments before it

(The last one i cut off because it just was a suggestion of where the story should go)

Now, i removed the urls bc i do not have anything against these people. It's not about them. This type of stuff shows up in almost every fic of mine.

And yes, obviously I appreciate the thought behind the fact someone wants to read more of my writing but I also cannot stop the feeling of how little the work i actually have put out is valued.

Maybe it is a short fic of not even a thousand words (although I have also gotten these demands on fics reaching 15k in word count) but it still takes time and effort and energy. Especially with requests, its difficult to write something you know another person has thought of, has expectations for... There is always doubt in my mind when I post a request that I failed the person who wanted the story because it's not what they expected. It's nervewrecking. So yeah, seeing people enjoy the story and wanting more definitely dissipates that constant worry But (there's always a but y'all)

A writer has their own ideas of how a story should go. Even if its a request, you get to interpret that in your own way (previously mentioned anxieties follow up later) and hopefully those interpretations will be appreciated. That includes the plot. And the plot includes, you guessed it, a beginning and an ending.

As the writer, I decide when and how the story ends.

By getting comments such as the ones I put above, I just get constant reminders shot in my face that no one really cares. Not just about me- hell, i dont care about myself- but about writers in general. No one cares about the actual creativity of the writing or the processes. Yall just want your free content, which is understandable in this economy, and then move on.

I could blame this on the Story Time/Like for Part Two internet culture and maybe I am. Hopefully you can see the comparison, especially with how on Tiktok all content constantly seems to be accumulating into series and parts and just never ending. All a person has to do is comment "pt 2 pls" and like it and done.

Just consider that, you get to enjoy something that is given to you completely for free, no questions asked. So why dont you actually enjoy it? Why does there have to always be more? (And if so, why cant the "more" be the already existing catalogues of the writers on here? Or did you skim through all that already -sorry im getting pissed off now, sleep deprivation)

Anyway, i'm tired and dont make any sense. Besides, i cant and wont police people around on here. read the stuff you want, comment all you want, but dont forget that the people writing the stories you like are also human with their own ideas and emotions. Not machines who can print out words at any given command.

[valfeathers]

you know what. go wild. tell us more L headcanons !!! i'm listening with great attention !!!! i will read 3k of it if that's what you send. v wammyposting enabler agenda !!! 💙

gladly!! olorea enabling me in the inbox oh no

ookay so first i'm gonna info dump about how i choose to draw him bcs i just love talking abt my process & i put way too much thought into my own art lol

i remember some people talking about how i made him look healthier and i've had ppl say that i draw him pretty (which,, thanks sm i try !!)

so i like to mishmash several aspects from different L iterations over the years into my own art! such as the mole on his nose as a nod to the actor ken'ichi matsuyama who played him in L:CTW (& the 2006 dn live actions), and i tend to branch out & draw him with little bits of jewelry because of the 2015 jdrama

and the green jacket that he wears in the musical! (bcs i love that characterization and i think he should be allowed to be more unhinged)

i've noticed that his bitten nails reappear in different media as well, so i try to include those wherever i can

and as for the bitten lips & perpetually scratched knuckles,,, that's mostly projection haha

but anyways here are some more little hcs that i didn't have the opportunity to draw :)

the laces of those beat-up trainers he wears are literally never tied. can he tie them? yes. will he? nope!

he cuts his own hair,, that man has never set foot in a barber's in his life

maybe this is projection but i just cannot imagine him with a posh accent, an autistic non-accent at most

i feel like if he had gone to a proper college he'd have done a course on criminal psychology, and he would have absolutely excelled at the challenge of puzzling out the motives of criminals alongside the just. the crimes themselves.

man's hands are just perpetually cold, i mean it, terrible circulation all round

i think the jdrama might have inspired this one but germaphobe L is so so real to me. he really is just like me fr.

this one is just straight-up canon but i HAVE to mention this. his ability to like,, copy different dialects?? the fact that he's multi-lingual?? cool as fuck

OH AND,, i'm an ace-spectrum L truther. he's asexual on this page babey

this was a little short but!! this'll do for now so i don't wind up losing my mind and rambling for like 10 years straight,,

i relate so so deeply to this weird man and i won't apologise for it!!

[grxceful-ly]

Hello there! I hope you're doing good!

19, 21 and 29 for the Fanfic Writers Ask Game!

hii thank you so much for sending me an ask!! i hope you're doing really well yourself. you picked some good ones and this got kinda long, i'm sorry 🙇🏻‍♀️

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

i'm going to take this opportunity to say that something in me does not allow me to fulfill all the multichapter, long fics of my dreams so i mostly share oneshots. i wish i could be like "this is from my [insert title here] au from chapter 14!!" or something. but alas. anyway, this is from my wip sequel to the sabezra secret relationship i wrote a while back. it's almost done, i'm excited to share the full thing soon!

Maybe the Ezra Bridger who wasn’t in a relationship with Sabine wouldn’t have said that. Maybe he would’ve been a little giddy—like, wow! Sabine is actually touching me! And isn’t completely averse to it! Maybe he should have said something like that. Or just. . .smiled? Or hugged her back? Sabine still wasn’t letting go. His heart ached a little. He let his arms come around her loosely, his gaze stuck to the floor. “So. . .” he started. But nothing else came out. 

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

yes and no. i don't think i've ever had to delete an entire scene--usually i will spend a lot of time writing a scene or two and i hate it a little more than usual so i end up losing motivation for the entire project. this happens often. i don't like it.

however, sometimes i'll write a line i really like but in my heart i know it won't work for the overall goal of the paragraph or scene, so i have to delete it :( i mourn for like three minutes and then move on lol.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

goodness, the amount of star wars time travel fix-it fics i've written in my mind. that's kind of where they stay. but occasionally i jot down a scene that has a chokehold on me until it goes away. i was going to share an anakin one, but for some reason i can't find my doc with that in it :') so you get this scene from my vostress wip where asajj goes back in time. this is kind of a cheat bc i don't know if it'll NEVER be posted, but as of now too little of it is written to share much more than these snippets. also there's very little interest in a fic like this versus my usual stuff lol.

Her eyes softened. “It is more important to reject that power and preserve those things. Understand me, Vos. Truly. There is no power that can take away the pain you feel. No power that is worth it for a fleeting sense of victory.” She realized she'd put a hand to his chest, naturally drawn closer as she tried not to plead with him. This was it. If he should ever listen to her, let it be now.

and for a bonus, here's an 'asajj takes omega to meet quinlan' snippet that was just for fun and will never again see the light of day lol!

“Your jedi?” Omega asked, eyes lighting up, glancing from one of them to the other. Vos flashed a lopsided smile at Ventress. “I love when she calls me that,” he said in that smooth, unserious but oh-so-truthful voice of his. Ventress's eyes slid to him, then went up to the sky in feigned annoyance as her hand fell to her side and she swiveled to walk away. “Come on.” Unfortunately, Vos and Omega were making quick friends. He was the type to do so; always had been, and it seemed she, too, was eager to befriend anyone she set her sights on. A horrifying pair.

[incomprehensiblelentils]

OH MAN the new Warriors book was so much

BIG SPOILIES BELOW THE CUT FOR WARRIORS: A STARLESS CLAN: THUNDER LOL

Previously on Warriors: protagonists 1 (Sunbeam of ShadowClan) and 2 (Nightheart of ThunderClan) are in love and have switched Clans multiple times to be with each other; they are dealing with anti-immigration sentiment from Sun’s mom and general rumblings of conflict amongst the Clans. Protagonist 3 (Frostpaw of RiverClan) is The Most Traumatized Teen Cat Ever, having been put in charge of choosing the new leader despite being the equivalent of a 15yo and then being trapped while her mother got eaten by dogs in front of her, and THEN having a traumatic vision of their dead deputy getting murdered, and THEN barely surviving a murder attempt on herself.

AND NOW series 8 book 4: THUNDER

Sun has followed Night back to ThunderClan, and is determined to stay there with him

(they’re honestly so fucking cute and like Night’s family adores her and accepts her immediately, it was super heartwarming! I love them what a good ship)

Her anti-immigrant mother is the most dramatic about this she could possibly be and barges into her new Clan’s camp to try to forcibly bring her back

(Clan camps are like hidden and you are NOT supposed to barge in uninvited, the mom is frankly lucky nobody ripped her apart)

Then later Sun learns that her mother is plotting a coup against the leader of ShadowClan, but is unable to stop her from calling for the leader’s removal at the monthly Gathering

and she’s like “I have the agreement of our medicine cat which is the terms of our new code of conduct to remove dangerous leaders!”

and the medicine cat is like “yes I agreed with her BUT it was so I could show how bad this new part of the code is. bc look this bitch just has a weird grudge and is weaponizing it, seems bad”

(very happy for Puddleshine fans tbh, he hasn’t really done anything as a character and this was fucking awesome)

MEANWHILE: Frost has decided she is better off assumed dead, and decides to seek advice from her ancestors. She gets cryptic info from RiverClan’s founder Riverstar and sets off on a vague journey after being told she will “have a companion you trust immediately”

(but not before almost dying of her wounds and being saved by a human vet, who also spays her, although she doesn’t know what that means. I do think we should neuter/spay feral cats but in this singular context where they have sentience this was a pretty fucked up thing to read!!!)

Frost also teams up with Night, who has mostly been caught up in helping guard the current leader (Bramblestar) and deputy (Squirrelflight) as they journey to consult StarClan about Bramble retiring so Squirrel can be leader

Bramble has severe PTSD and trauma from being possessed by a demon who was in love with Squirrel, Bramble’s wife, and was trying to destroy the Clans and drag Squirrel to hell to be with him. I have summarized this here if you’re curious

Anyway Night is mostly just a wife guy (positive) now it’s so fucking cute. BUT he runs into Frost and she’s like DON’T TELL ANYONE I’M ALIVE and he’s like ahhh geez okay and she’s like wait! I trust you! Come with me on this vague journey StarClan is sending me on! and he’s like but my wife :(((( but okay if StarClan wills it

They walk for awhile, get more clues, bond and become friends! Eventually they end up finding the park where Riverstar came from which is full of feral cats and Frost learns to meditate (a thing park cats do) to figure out how to save RiverClan

It is finally revealed to her that the cat who tried to murder her was this fun cool sexy cat she had a big crush on (Splashtail) and she’s like D: BUT I TRUSTED HIM NOOOOO

THEN she is given a vision of Splash killing the deputy as well - AND ALSO WE LEARN THAT HER DEAD MOM WAS BEHIND ALL OF THIS!!! Dead Mom wanted to become leader so bad she had a whole Scheme to manipulate Frost literally her entire life to become a medicine cat, then (maybe) kill the very old very sick leader, then (definitely) have Splash kill the deputy, then have Frost have a “vision” to make her the leader

also Riverstar confirms Dead Mom went to hell for this

(We haven’t had that many female villains, I am LIVING FOR THIS!!!!)

Frost is extremely traumatized by this obvs but she’s like we have to go back now!!!! before Splash takes over RiverClan and starts a fucking war!!!!!

They arrive IN THE MIDDLE OF AFOREMENTIONED ATTEMPTED COUP

but anti-immigrant mom gets thrown out of the Clans and runs off, swearing revenge

THEN! RiverClan announces they have appointed a new medicine cat, Frost’s uncle

(was he working with Dead Evil Mom??????? who knows!!!)

and Uncle says I have talked to Riverstar and he wants us to “make RiverClan strong again”

and for that we need our new leader, Splash!

Night says, Frost, we have to stop him!!!

end of book!!!!!!!

this fucking RULED. Sometimes like two important things happen in a Warriors book, in this one like EIGHT important things happened and it was amazing

[commsroom]

i need to relisten to wolf359 bc it was YEARS ago so i don't remember much, but i have this specific idea about hera post-canon

i don't remember if they get her onto the escape vessel (im pretty sure they have to? she has the power of navigation being a literal slave station?) but when they get back to earth, in the chaos that ensues, jacobi makes sure to somehow... store hera? only her personality matrix, if that's possible. he could break into the high performance computing cluster of some university and store her in a little known spot, then "break her out" later.

i don't remember how much in character this is (he seemed a bit more chummy with the haephestus crew by this point), but i imagined him building either (1) a robot body (who knows how common that is on earth at this point) or (2) an eyepiece and earpiece for here's personality to exist in, so she can in SOME way go out, see the world and talk to them still once they're off the escape vessel.

i want her to still be with them even when they're not on a ship anymore.

first: you should absolutely relisten! and you should let me know your thoughts, when you relisten. especially if it's been years, i'd be really curious to know if and how your opinions have changed!

thankfully, you remember right - hera does go back with them, and the final scene and sentiment of the show definitely implies that eiffel, hera, and minkowski intend to stick together. they would fight for her to stay with them. which does get potentially complicated, from both a legal and practical standpoint.

(and i won't get into my thoughts about post-canon jacobi here, but i will say... he went to MIT and was friends with maxwell; he's more likely than eiffel or minkowski or lovelace to know people who know people who could maybe help hera. and wolf 359 loves to put characters in situations where they have to rely on people they don't particularly like. they've even done that with jacobi and hera specifically - ep 57. "sure. fine. as long as it's not jacobi doing it, it's fine." cut to jacobi doing it. of course.)

i don't think AI is actually that common in the world of wolf 359; hera is the first AI eiffel and minkowski have met, and even maxwell, working for the "best AI research lab in the country" was unaware of the existence of "full-minded" AI (however that's defined) until she was recruited by goddard in 2013. my impression is that it's, like, something people are aware of, but it's still very detached from the average person's life, and AI personhood is not even a consideration yet. having an android body would definitely make hera... visible, in some ways that she might not like.

maybe worth noting that goddard is also very into biotech, and there's some interesting... overlap with that and the dear listeners' duplicates in terms of what it asks about 'artificiality', in my opinion. wolf 359 is very much a show about humanity, and i think any post-canon extension of those themes would have to be about... learning to be a person on earth, with all that entails, and the way that applies to hera's situation is meaningful to me. all of which is just kind of a rambling way to say, yes, i'm also totally in favor of hera having a body. like, on one hand, because i think there's something to it as a discussion about disability and bodies in general, with the way it would re-contextualize her experiences on the hephaestus and the pain she's been living with - and that a lot of things she experienced without a body and felt were unique to her, she would still experience with one. but i also think it's the best option for her; i really think anything else would by design deny her autonomy and freedom of movement on earth. from a more sentimental standpoint, i just want her to be able to go to a real beach and put her hands in the ocean.

[evansbby]

Bestie, girlypop, pookie, Darling-

I- I'm in fucking shock at the latest chapter...oh.my.GOD I have no words, genuinley..oh, who am I kidding I'm GUSHING IT WAS SO CRAZY!!! anyway my thoughts:

At this point I was like "oh god if this isn't a plot twist I just need Sharon and Y/N to kiss already" cuz it was hinting that she liked reader and I was dying!!!! Like yes bbg! But also why are you so dense!?! Block these morons and confess to your now bestie!!!

Speaking of besties: Wanda. I- look I didn't really like Wanda at all from the begging she was just not a good friend and not at all a girls girl. But the shit she pulled? Ugh! Wanted to smack her and not to mention how obnoxious Curtis was and how obvious it was he was cheating!!! But I digress.

Now Ari? I wanted to get a restraining order at this point like bruh leave miss girl alone! She don't want you!! And Y/N you fucking airhead grow a backbone don't let him into your fricking dorm room!!!! I'm still Team Steve, downright, my bbg did not deserve that shit! Well...maybe a bitch slap but he still should be a better pick than Ari cuz omg. And the scream I SCRUMT- I KNEW HE FUCKED KIRA! I WAS SO RIGHT! ugh poor baby she and Sharon seriously deserve better😭😭

And Stevie overdoasing?? The dialog??? The scene description?? Someone give my girl over here a fucking academy award we got our next Jane Austen!!! (Also this was a journey to read cuz I got a super bad migrain half way and I swear I woke up in a cold sweat and just started reading again😭)

Anyway I hope Y/N picks neither, makes up with Sharon they stay besties or smooch and they all live happily ever after U>U also I Need someone to kick drop Curtis and slap Wanda. That's all, that's my take.

Hope your having the most lovley day dear!!! Already screaming over what next chapter insues!

-💌

OMGGG LOVE LETTER ANON!!! bestie thank you so much for this long amazing delicious feedback ily girlyyy (and excuse my lack of emojis, i'm on my laptop!!)

AHAHAHAHA firstly... guess what, bestie??? in the original first draft of this fic before i made cuts and edits, SHARON DID ACTUALLY KISS READER!!! so you are totally not alone with your "kiss already!!" thoughts bc i think a lot of people were right there with you!!! i had always planned for sharon to have a crush on reader, all the way back from wicked games 2 actually!! but i had to cut the kissing scene out bc it made more sense to me to have sharon secretly pining for her! and also, it would've been weird if sharon kissed reader while she was so clearly looking all hurt and vulnerable - sharon is a lot more intuitive and sensitive to those type of emotions and the last thing she would've done is kiss reader the very day after she'd been hurt so badly by steve!! so i cut it hehe BUT THAT KISS DID ORIGINALLY HAPPEN.

okay now moving on... GIRLY IT'S SO OBVIOUS YOU'RE TEAM STEVE ALL THE WAY AND DON'T LIKE ARI MWAHAHAHAHA. but i don't think reader wanted Ari to leave her alone even though that's what she kept saying. but deep down... IDK hehehe. Ari WAS very persistent this chapter, but i think he was just desperate to show reader that he'd changed. As for Steve, i know he's everyone's bbg at the moment AND HE WAS SO FUN AND INTERESTING TO WRITE in this chapter!!! also not you calling me the next jane austen AHHHHH bestie i am not worthy of that!!! but thank you! i'm lowkey very proud of the steve scenes and the descriptions and dialogue towards the end of chapter 4! so thank you for recognising that!!

AND YES WANDA AND CURTIS BOTH NEED A BITCH SLAP!

also not you waking up in a cold sweat with a migraine and just... CONTINUING TO READ?!?! THAT'S A SOLID MOOD RIGHT THERE BESTIE WE ALL BEEN THERE AKFSNDALGNAK HAHAHAH ily thank you fr for being so so supportive of me. you are truly a queen and icon of the evansbby anon roster!!! ily

[terrence-silver]

How about Terry kidnapping his beloved bc of their hate to love kinda situation..doing it by himself every step if the way (I doubt he'd hide his face from her,wanting her to know exactly who her kidnapper is...). Beloved getting a sense if his darker tendencies. Beloved would have come along easily but Terry's cocky and arrogant personality made her do otherwise..

You know, I almost imagine, lets say, old man Terry, a taking a near dignified and elegant approach to abduction, if such a thing can even exist, because while his younger self, say, in the 80's, might enjoy the cat and mouse chase in the traditional sense, giddily exhausting his prey, cornering them, giving them a brief, fleeting hope that they could get away and then cruelly squashing it in the last minute as he corners then and getting a sadistic thrill out of that game which he elongates to cruel degrees, an older Terry could be more tactical at times. He is entirely capable of pulling up in public, in broad daylight, entirely unfettered, cutting of beloved's way with a parked car, stepping out, dressed to the nines and calmly asking them to step inside and doing it with such charm, outward sweetness and poise that whoever witnesses this scene, even accidentally, might think beloved's the one who is difficult here and that this poor, old man is so endlessly patient with whatever shanenigans these are, affectively, never realizing they're being insidiously gaslit by their own wrongful perceptions and that the villain here isn't who they actually think it is. Eventually, beloved will be worn down, realizing they've no choice, and they'll step into that car and be driven off, and nobody who saw this brief exchange will realize what they effectively witnessed was a kidnapping.

Done right in font of them.

Shocking what one can get away with if they're only confident enough.

Terry Silver never ceased enjoying the cat and mouse game well into his more mature years, except how he plays said game has evolved with his own age and changed to benefit his needs --- changing with the world and environment around him --- thing is, everyone can flip out a camera and record him dragging beloved off into the darkness, compromising him and his reputation, and as much as it would be an utter pleasure to do that, he needed to become smarter, wiser, even more cunning than he already was --- some would say cocky and arrogant, yes, but he tends to see it as resourceful; nowadays, old man that he is, he doesn't waste his time with filler if he doesn't need to and if it doesn't serve any purpose. He's going to kidnap beloved by quite literally politely and with all the poise in the world telling them that they're coming with him and that they should cooperate. He almost sounds mature and authoritative doing so. Like he is giving sound advice. Maybe, if he plays his cards smooth enough not even beloved themselves will realize that they were effectively taken until it is far too late and they're locked inside of his mansion with no ability to leave. Whatever force he applies will come later, behind closed doors.