#(anyway I just think they're neat and should be allowed to fuck about it)

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from the sangyao dungeons - [???/π] incorrect but plausibly canon quotes edition

[sixstepsaway]

I don't get why people want to pretend Ed wasn't abusive. Why do people insist on making everything into binaries? Yes, Ed has been a victim of abuse. Yes, he has been abusive. Both things can be true. I love him because I think he's in interesting and I understand where his pain is coming from (even if I think S2 was a missed opportunity in terms of character development). But anyway, thank you for writing about this because maybe some folks genuinely don't recognize abusive trends.

I think it has a lot to do with the fandom culture of only being allowed to like "wholesome" ships.

Look at it this way: when season 1 was airing, Ed and Stede were, in fact, very wholesome. Sure, they had some moments of lesser wholesomeness, but overall they were pretty wholesome and sweet and gentle. They were sweet and finding love in middle age and it was adorable. They had a general stamp of fandom approval that they were, in fact, Wholesome And Good To Ship™.

If you look at other fandoms, you'll see a lot of times there's the Good And Acceptable Ship and then there's the Bad Ship (or ships) and the Bad Ship is always slapped with the "oh that's actually incest!" label when they've, idk, grown up together, or "oh it's abusive!" because one of them one time made a bad joke or something, or "power dynamics!" because one is 27 and one is 25 or one is short and the other is tall or whatever, and yeah sometimes the Bad Ship is actually toxic or whatever (which is not a reason to not ship and enjoy it!), but they're put in neat little boxes: Good and Bad.

And for a lot of people, those boxes keep them safe. Last year, someone who was an Izzy Hands fan got doxxed because...? They liked Izzy Hands and shipped him with... I don't know actually. Ed? Stede? It doesn't matter, all I know is they got doxxed.

The side of fandom that thinks you should only ship the Good Ship are toxic and downright dangerous. It's happened again and again in numerous fandoms and just keeps happening.

So when at the end of s1, Ed turned around and cut Izzy's toe off and fed it to him, I think a lot of people panicked because shit, now Ed was Bad too, and if he's Bad then you can't like him or relate to him or ship him with the Good guy of Stede, so what the fuck do you do?

Obvious answer: Blame Izzy. Izzy's already classed as Bad, so put all the responsibility on Izzy for Ed's darkness and then it's safe to ship Ed and Stede again and no one can call you an abuse apologist or whatever for liking them together.

(To be clear: Shipping says nothing about your real morality. This is very clear for many reasons, one of which is... spend thirty seconds watching fans of the Wholesome Ships dox people and abuse people online lol)

So they spent all this time saying Ed was just scared and lashing out, and now s2 has come along and Ed is... well, abusive, canonically.

And for most of us, that doesn't really matter. We can still enjoy Ed and Stede or Ed and Izzy, we can throw ourselves into fanworks and enjoy the show for the things we like, and we can critique the things we have issues with (my problem is not Ed being written as dark and twisty and having a villain arc, my problem is the show writing it badly, exploring it badly, and then handwaving it, because it's shitty writing) and still really enjoy the vibes we got from the show.

But for people who are scared because they spent all this time saying Izzy fans should kill themselves for liking an abuser, well... now they have a choice: either admit Ed is an abuser and admit that liking a character doesn't dictate your irl morality, nor does it say anything about you aside from what you enjoy in fiction, or excuse away his actions, insist he's just a lil meow meow and continue feeling safe in their little bubble.

In a lot of ways I can't blame people for wanting to duck and cover from it. I mean, look at the shit people get for liking characters who aren't perfect, or talking about the imperfections of characters, or just enjoying complex narratives!

But what genuinely concerns me isn't anything to do with the fiction really, it's when people look at Ed's behavior in 2x01 and 2x02 and go, "Nah he's fine," because oh, honey, no, you are making yourself so vulnerable to real life abuse. That is what worries me, which is why I answered that one ask saying Ed wasn't abusive, it felt important to point out why he is.

Anyway, that's what I think is happening here. I think people are just scared that if they admit their fave has multitudes and isn't a perfect character who never does any wrong, they'll get doxxed and abused and harassed online.

I get that.

[greyborn2]

Elisif headcanons now! (friendly tone ofc <3) Why do you think she would be a good marriage candidate? I'm curious :)

Yesssss!!! Okay - so this boils down to two categories. Personal interest in it, and underrated narrative JUICE. Starting with the former because its easier to begin with. So Elisif is just... she's neat. She's simultaneously one of the most politically important people in skyrim while also being COMPLETELY overshadowed by the men around her (Nobody talks about her, really, they talk of Torygg. The civil war isnt her vs ulfric, its TULLIUS vs ulfric. Her own decisions in court the first time we even see her are seemingly overruled on a dime by her own court, by Falk.). Its like she's this big thing of incredible importance and is constantly hidden away both in narrative and in game. But despite that, if you actually sneak in a bit, ignore all the big figures standing in front of her and propping themselves up on top of her, she has a surprising amount of meat to her.

Most of the Jarls are like... a few word summary at best. Greedy idiot boy, honourable honorman, paranoid bigot, old seer, etc etc etc. You get an initial impression of them and thats kinda it. Ulfric has a lot more, obviously, because he's a major character but it would *SEEM* that Elisif should be on the lower end of content. It takes so much to seek her out in her overshadowed little corner after all, but she has so so so much surprising stuff around her. The necromancer potema plot revolves around her, a whole big dialogue tree that isnt super common to see for a jarl, some touching personal quests that go into detail about how she saw her late husband. Its just all super compelling to me to have a character that, despite being so important, is *soooo* hidden away actually have some meat to her. Plus she's just a nice person!!! ANYWAYS!! PART 2!! The JUICE!!

For starters, I think, there should just be more opportunities for the dragonborn to play the political game if they want. Beyond just choosing a side in a war or ticking off their 'thane of everywhere' list, actually getting in on climbing the ladder and enmeshing oneself with the politics of the land they're in. BUT BUT... same can be said for Ulfric. Absolutely true. I do think he should also be a marriage candidate. BUT...

I think Elisif PARTICULARLY makes sense as a marriage opportunity that isn't one you seek out, but one that is put forward to the player. Specifically with an Imperial victory in the civil war.

The war is won. Alduin MAY or MAY NOT be slain. But either way, no matter what, at this point the dragonborn is a war hero, a champion of the people, and decorated imperial legate. And this would be fucking FRIGHTNING, I think, to the politicians back in Cyrodiil. There's a *history* of war hero dragonborns, popular with the people, turning on their commanders and declaring themselves emperor afterall. Oh boy is there a precedent. Suddenly they're the big figure in a war that was supposed to be Tullius' duty and they might start sweating in their boots a little.

SO... after the war is won... the legion starts... pushing. Just a little. A few letters, a few comments, that the dragonborn should maybe marry Elisif. Become High King by marriage. Lock them in and satisfy the war hero with a political title off in the ass end of the empire before they turn their gaze toward a ruby throne. Don't give them time to think on it. Ooooh look tasty treat right here shhhh dont think yes you did very good dragonborn yes yes be high king.

I think from there it could go one of three ways;

1) Last Dragonborn marries Elisif but with her actually agreeing to the union (after completing her personal quests) and she FINALLY steps out of the shadows. Rather than the expected you using her for power, she uses YOU for power. You allow yourself to be the thing she props herself up on and finally really starts coming into public view. Maybe to the nervousness of the Empire as she's a less eager puppet then they might have thought, now.

2) Last Dragonborn falls right into the trap the empire placed. You didnt do the quests for Elisif, she remains in the shadows, there's a loveless marriage and you get to be satisfied with a big title that hopefully keeps you occupied.

3) Last Dragonborn refuses all of this. Things seem to proceed as they do in canon but... well... maybe you notice a few more non-DB assassins using imperial weapons attacking you on the road then you did before. Curious.

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's MC Wardrobes: Alan Parke, OG HSS Book 2. Featuring some edits by me!

How this series goes: With each book, for a MC I'm invested in, I'll assess each of their in-game outfits. How much do I like or dislike the outfit? Is this something that suits my MC's style, or does it make me go "My MC would NOT wear/own this"? And for the outfits that my MC would not wear or own, how would I alter or replace them? I'm not going to use screenshots from the actual game because I can't be arsed. Also I want to use the different sprite expressions to express how my MC would feel about each outfit.

I like to think this is a good opportunity to elaborate on my MCs' dress styles, and show off some edits :D

Now let's see how well the Book 2 outfits does justice to Alan!

Directory for the other parts will be included in the reblogs after I've completed the posts for all books!

Ch 1: "Hipster Handsome", "Winter Wonderland", and "Snow Day" Starter Outfits

These outfits are pretty neat. I think Alan would like the scarf and jacket from hipster handsome and the sweater in the winter wonderland one. But that's about it. Even then, they're not quite his style.

Verdict: Only the first two outfits are in Alan's wardrobe, and only partly. Alter by combining some pieces and adding a skirt.

Here's something more in his style. Weather appropriate, but still stylish.

Ch 1: "Live From Berry High" Outfit for Tiger News

It's nice, but he'd prefer the f!MC's version. This looks more like the m!version of the premium casual "Make A Statement" outfit from f!MC's wardrobe. Hence, something Evie would wear as a semiformal/date night thing (reminder to self: edit this outfit onto Evie).

Verdict: Alan would not wear this. Replace entirely.

Here's what he'd prefer.

BONUS ROUND: Ch 2: Basketball Uniform

Doesn't look bad on him, but not really his style either.

Verdict: Technically not in Alan's wardrobe because you have to return uniforms, but he wouldn't care for it either way.

Ch 3: "OMB Tigers" for Winter Carnival

Solid look, but he deserves to have a little "B" necklace like the f!MC version has.

Verdict: Part of Alan's wardrobe, but needs the addition of an extra piece. Alter by adding necklace. And replacing pants with skirt.

Here's the look in Alan's style.

Ch 7: "Evening Jade" for Maria's birthday party

This actually looks really nice on him! The tie goes with his hair. But it isn't really his preferred style.

Verdict: Alan would not own this. Replace entirely.

Obviously, I'm gonna give him a dress. I wanna keep it just nice enough for the restaurant, but still have a bit of a casual feel to it and not overly flashy, and somewhat maintain the aesthetic of the original. As much as he loves to grab people's attention with his dress style and make things all about him, he knows better than to upstage the birthday girl. Especially since he likes the birthday girl. I already made him lean into self-centered jerk in Book 2's storyline, no need to top that by having him straight up upstage the birthday gir...

...oh fuck it. His logic is that he should wear something extra nice to celebrate the special day of a girl he likes. And also that she gets some good eyecandy on her birthday. I don't think Maria would mind. Classic Alan Parke.

And I do still plan to make new outfits for the other characters for this event. Stay tuned.

Ch 11: "Clean Sweep" Janitor Disguise

Not his usual style, but he rocks the look, ngl. It's worth disguising himself.

Verdict: Alan would wear as a disguise, but he would not own this item (and I'm not sure if he'd be allowed to anyways). Keep it as is.

Ch 14: "Saturday Night" and "Forever Young" Premium Outfit for Payton's Winter Party

Ohhhhhh my god these have got to be the PLAINEST outfits in the whole game. They make the pool party outfit look like a met gala fashion show outfit. Legit the f!MC options are a shimmery gold sequin top and a bright pink tight top with a short pattern skirt, and then the m!MC outfits are THIS poopoo-colored shit!?!?!

I'm having a hard time deciding which is blander. The button-up on the first one kind of looks like snow falling in the night sky which is a bit of a nice touch, and I'd also say the blazer at least looks appropriate for the party setting but DID IT HAVE TO BE BROWN???? Meanwhile, the second one has a much better color scheme, but it's so plain and casual??? The f!MC's pink tank top and skirt outfit could also be technically considered casual, but it at least had a distinct style and some eyecatching design that I can actually buy the other characters fawning over them. I can not buy that with either of these.

Verdict: Alan would NOT own either of these. Replace entirely.

Here's the outfit that Alan WOULD wear, from the f!MC's options again.

[put-me-out-of-my-destiny]

Proposing V for the ask game, if you're still doing it?

My favorite thing about V:

On a narrative level, he represents the best quality of DMC5, it's fleshing out of Vergil. I love that deep down, underneath the fear-driven quest for power, Vergil is a soft goth boy who loves a particular poet so much he makes it his whole personality. Plus, I love the interpretation that he looks so young because Vergil lost so much of his life to being Nelo Angelo.

On a gameplay level, I love how you can make V constantly taunt while making his minions fight.

My least favorite thing about V:

On a narrative level, as much as I love his voice and design, it would have been so cool if he was a woman instead. Besides the Implications, it would be a neat way of nodding to his human mother. Also, I've been told that the literary character that Urizen is named after is a part of a dyad, the other half of which is a female deity. And DMC5 sorely fumbles it's female representation anyway, having a playable female character might have won it some points (though realistically, there's a good chance they would have fucked up her design, and the hate toward her playstyle would be so much more vitriolic).

Speaking of playstyle, on a gameplay level, I do enjoy playing as V, but the moveset definitely needs more development. I don't like that V's evasive actions require his familiars because you have to interrupt their combat (and even Griffon's attack charging) in order to use them, even though the whole point of V seems to be multitasking. Plus, the hidden range limit for the minions can really screw you, especially considering that Shadow's attacks can easily take it outside of that limit, causing it to teleport back to V's side and interrupt your attack strings. And what's sad is that due to unpopularity, there's a real chance that we won't get to see a new iteration of this playstyle.

(There's even a series in my pinned post all about a certain character ending up in this position, just saying).

My favorite line by V:

It's hard to say, since he has one of the best if not the best vocal performances in the game. I do like that he says "it's my turn to play with the Devil Sword" at one point.

My "brOTP" for V:

I love his friendship with Griffon. It's a shame it got no closure whatsoever because the writers decided they wanted to magically wipe away Vergil's trauma via DMC1 callback boss fight.

My "OTP" for V:

I don't generally like ships for Vergil, but one that I would entertain is one with Lucia. I see the humor in her meeting a man who's just as handsome as Dante but with none of the charm, and realizing she's actually fine with that. Plus, Vergil is far more comfortable with his demon side than his human side, and I think that would extend to Lucia. He would think her devil form is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and he'd be right. Lucia deserves a handsome loser boyfriend who loves the demon in her so much that she learns to love it too, especially since he also comes with a giant stoic tree man with sharp teeth and tentacles, and of course our favorite poetry-lover.

My "nOTP" for V:

Nero x V is sadly popular, even though they're literally father and son. And even when talking about just V, not Urizen or Vergil as a whole, I don't care for shipping him with Lady. She doesn't even fucking like him, nor should she.

A random headcanon about V:

I think his cane is tied to Rebellion in some way. Perhaps it simply contains some of the same materials, which is why it's good at conducting demonic power, and why it allowed him to reunite with Urizen.

An unpopular opinion about V:

While I am firmly in the "V and Vergil are the same character and that isn't a bad thing" camp, I am sympathetic to the wish that V was his own character. I cannot fault someone for loving V but not finding Vergil interesting, and I don't think it's worth getting mad at them over.

A song I associate with V:

Besides Crimson Cloud? There's a "combo mad" sort of video from time to time titled Void Violin, it features some good music.

My favorite picture of V:

That gif of him tripping and dropping his free taco.

[chaifootsteps]

College anon bored out of their mind again: People need to stop shitting on the new VAs. Y'all aren't fucking children. That's cruel and Vivzie Stan-like behavior. They're GOOD. They're OBJECTIVELY good. That's what is so annoying! She DID get talented people, people who are trying to make their way into animation at that, for her shitty show and into her drama. THAT is their legacy. It's an awful start for them.

I cannot tell you how annoyed I am that HH is this disappointing and that my girl Erika is in it. She deserves to get a real princess role. Brightman is a delight and his vocal abilities, that cannot be replicated on this level mind you, are likely not exploited. I still haven't watched the leaks but I SWEAR to GOD if Viv didn't make him use his normal voice instead of his Beetlejuice one to differenciate our funny snake loser from Fizz, I will lose my shit. You literally hired someone who can do BOTH and has amazing wacky energy and you just??? Don't use it?? What.

Back to Erika and Charlie. I think she's a perfect fit. Charlie has been called a "Disney Princess stuck in Hell" for years and by everyone. Erika has the voice and energy for it. I remember people saying it when she was in Mean Girls, her performance as Cady was so endearing! My only problem is that I doubt that Viv had her do what the old singing VA did: going into opera-like vocals at times. Maybe the old VA didn't do it on purpose but it WORKED. It gives that Heaven-like vibe to Charlie which is important and a neat detail. As if she were trying to be like an angel. A reminder that her father was one. A hint that she's a good person, a pure person. It makes her different. I wish, because I know it won't happen, that we got notes like that from time to time, when the songs allow it, along with the princess vocals. I have SO MUCH to complain about when it comes to Charlie. In five minutes, I can create a more complex character than Viv could in over FOUR years. It's so easy it writes itself. Bet if she were a dude Viv would have tried making her an actual character.

As for the hot topic, I haven't seen the Poison leaks. I like the song. It's good, Blake has a nice voice that I wish wasn't hindered by the nasal tone he was forced to use. His own songs sound beautiful. I wish we could have one like that in the show, pure and almost haunting, which would show a new facet of Angel's personality, a certain vulnerability, the hurt he's hiding or denying. Thinking of him, there's so much to say too. Viv had potential but just HAD to make him into another uwu softboy who did nothing wrong and was hurt by the world. Anyway, back to the main thing: Poison is good. But it will NOT fit into the show. Musically and performance-wise, it's a fucking pop song. Unless the visuals were vague, kinda like in Two Minute Notice at the "crushed under your feet" part (oh and Fizz is a much better take at the archetype than Angel), it will not fit in. The only thing I can imagine is a singer in the middle of a performance... And that is NOT related to Angel and will not serve his story properly. I just know I will be staring at the screen dead inside whenever it comes on because it's such a poor choice and waste of time.

There's a metal cover where the vocal performance is better IMHO because there's vulnerability and emotion in it. Like you can feel he's having doubts about what he's saying, that he doesn't really like it. It still wouldn't fit into the show because there's NOTHING there. The lyrics don't work for a musical.

I think he should only have ONE solo song for his story. He's not the main character so he cannot clog too much of the runtime. And that song? A sorrowful and slow solo where he's actually vulnerable. Have him participate in other songs, bringing in a pop sound every time he's in (with some polka like that one character song Gooseworks had done years ago to spice his musical identity up) and fun energy. That way, the moment the spotlight is finally on him and only him, we get whiplash as the funny sex guy finally puts down his walls and stops with the obvious facade. That's his turning point, that is the moment we KNOW that this guy can be redeemed. That he WANTS to. That what Charlie is working for is possible. And motherfucking Blake Roman can sound like the beast that he is with his actual voice and impossibly beautiful high notes. Ffs I heard a slower down version of Poison that was SO good! It's deeper which makes it work infinitely better.

Sorry for the huge rant but not sorry enough to say that I won't be back to bitch about the missed potential here. Vivziepop is SO close to achieving what she wanted, a GOOD and interesting show, but she keeps falling short. Think, Vivianne, THINK

...Now, you said you haven't seen the leaks, so I'm not gonna say too much in the way of spoilers. There's...a lot to shit on.

But you're right, never the actors themselves. They're an extremely talented group of people and Vivzie brought them on only to squander their talents. None of this is their fault.

[science-lings]

idk if I'm going to ever write for it so I'm gonna put it here, my reborn Yatagarasu AU. I guess if I get a little encouragement I'll want to write it more but I have to get some thoughts out or I will explode.

It started because I thought Beanix and Kay should meet and do crimes together. I think they should fight corruption and be overly dramatic while annoying Edgeworth. I mean, think about it, in the first game, Phoenix's whole thing was exposing notorious blackmailers and corrupted officials and generally being unafraid of facing mob families when everyone else is kinda scared to take any action.

before the cut to so much rambling, I need to get one question out of the way so...

anyway, lore below, I just didn't want to put that under the cut where no one will read far enough to see it lol

That and he also has experience with eccentric thieves. Also, they're both named after mythical birds and named specifically to be silly with their dialogue ('Mr. Wright, right?' "Kay 'kay?'). I also just want a reason for them to pose as father and daughter and be able to pull it off perfectly.

Now for actual plot stuff, I am of the opinion that Phoenix has acquired some weird-ass skills that he uses in weird-ass ways, I mean in canon he has a talent for bluffing and he uses it to absolutely dominate at poker. So I'm thinking this guy, who hasn't risked his life in over a year, fresh out of leads to fight the case with his disbarment, needs enrichment. This comes in the form of Kay investigating him out of interest as his role of 'that man' and discovering that he's pretty neat actually. She looks at his case files and finds him silly enough to recruit for a new project.

The re-emergence of the Yatagarasu is directly correlated to the dark age of the law and the increasing corruption practically everywhere. The law makers and law keepers of Japalifornia ignore the truth for their own self interest and that is Not Good. Kay recruits Ema, who is interning at the police department and on her way to becoming a detective turned forensic investigator. She is also stem girl extraordinaire who wants to use her tech for good and not to help the police. Funded by Franziska (because the best use of Manfred's fuck you money is actively fighting the corruption he was a part of) the Yatagarasu plan to expose as much corporate and legal filth as possible. Because to build a new legal system, the other one must be destroyed a bit.

In comes Phoenix, who through past cases and his work at the Borsht Bowl, just happens to have a pretty good amount of criminal connections. He's inconspicuous, already kind of undercover, and he knows how to get people to talk. He's disillusioned with the law and settled into a character that requires him to convincingly act at all times. Also his daughter is a magician and I think it would be really funny for him to learn a little sleight of hand and how to use throwing knives only for him to turn around and use those skills for Crime.

In return for info and his help with the Yatagarasu project, Phoenix gets more assistance in his investigation into Kristoph, which makes it easier to keep him and Trucy safe. Also in this AU Kristoph is worse and more invasive and more willing to cause problems if he catches Phoenix learning too much. Every one of their shared dinners consists of Kris poisoning Phoenix's wine and them switching it until they're both confused and Phoenix ends up drinking it but survives anyway.

Another part of this AU that I would want to touch upon would be Phoenix's reputation outside of being a fallen famous lawyer. I think that his work getting multiple mob members, prosecutors, a police chief, and generally terrifyingly powerful people incarcerated would get him noticed by people. I like to think that he's trying his best to look pathetic and depressed but the whispers around him make him sound kind of terrifying and it's only because of that that he feels secure enough to take Trucy along with him to the bowl for poker matches. He also is trying to learn her perceiving power, which he can't do but he does get really good at silently communicating with Trucy to the point that they become a kind of terrifying duo.

I just... weird girl crime group (Maya is not allowed, she'll just get falsely accused of murder again)

[foxpunk]

the new discord update is something i'm...disappointed about. yeahhh disappointed is apt. i think things like the launchpad and swipe gestures are neat ideas in theory, but their execution leaves much to be desired. not having gestures be a toggle is an accessibility nightmare, for one. the gesture responses are also too finicky. not smooth at all and often responding even when there's a swipe in a different direction. lagging significantly as well. discord's claims of improving load times fall flat when so many people are complaining about even longer load times.

complaints and observations and general ranting below the cut along with a list of hopefully helpful settings and alternatives for those who need it.

i feel like a lot of discord's issues with their updates in the past year or so could be negated--or at least abated--by expanding their pool of beta testers, testing for longer lengths of time, and (crucially) refining changes more before rolling them out. like...super basic shit they're just not doing to the extent they need to be doing them.

(on that note...discord, you literally have the email of every user, would it kill you to send out a few more surveys asking your userbase what possible new features sound good to them? i know a lot of people have discord email stuff turned off but can you at least try?! hell, if there was an option to opt in to email surveys and i thought they'd actually listen to responses they got, i'd turn it on out of sheer desperation at this point.)

also--and i know this is some extra work for them to do, and they seem to really hate that--i think that when such major changes are rolled out they should 1) be rolled out a bit slower/in smaller chunks and 2) at least SOME of the features should reasonably have a toggle to keep the old settings (*cough* GESTURES *cough*). their motive for this doesn't even have to be out of the good of their hearts! like, fuck telemetrics, but if they're gonna have them in their app anyways at least use telemetrics to like, gauge how many people are using these hypothetical toggles so you have another way to judge how users are responding. there! free idea! please use it.

anyways, i want to end on something helpful so here are a few bits of info about the updates i've discovered messing around, and also ways (or. well. A Way) to change them back if you have too much trouble adjusting. i'm sure plenty of people have noticed these things already, but i thought i'd compile them for those who want it all in one place or who haven't had the time or energy to mess with things in the app.

Settings > Accessibility > Reduced Motion: as far as i can tell, this does not seem to apply to the new transition animations in the app. oof, to say the least.

Messages > Add Friends > "Allow contacts to add me": many people were worried about this checkbox, but thankfully they seemed to have fixed the its-checked-automatically-and-doesn't-stay-unchecked thing. and, regardless, it doesn't actually change your app settings. if you already have Contact Sync disabled (Settings > Privacy & Safety > Find Your Friends > "Sync Contacts") checking this separate box will not suddenly enable it. however, if you have not disabled contact syncing then this checkbox will function as intended when you click the "Find friends" button below it.

Swipe-to-Reply: thankfully, you do not have to swipe to reply, the option to long press a message for a menu is still there. (for those wondering: swiping is nice accessibility for some and horrible accessibility for others, and should always be a toggle if you know what you're doing when making an app...*pointed stare into camera*). unfortunately, there's no way to turn swipe replies off that i've found.

Settings > Advanced > LaunchPad > "Full Screen Gesture": this claims to turn swipe replies off in exchange for using the gesture to activate the LaunchPad. however, after testing it out multiple times it does not actually turn them off and simply creates a gesture conflict that leaves both swipe replies and the LaunchPad more difficult to access.

Settings > Advanced > LaunchPad > "Right Edge Gesture": same issues as the first option with the additional difficulties of a more...sensitive touch response. forget "gesturing" if you so much as tap near the right edge of the screen it will attempt to pull out the LaunchPad. this right "edge" area also covers the reply button and settings menu toggles, by the way. so if you enabled this, good luck sending messages or turning the feature back off.

(did i mention these first two options also make it nearly impossible to swipe the left side channel and server lists open and closed? because they do.)

Settings > Advanced > LaunchPad > "Pull Tab": this is the option to choose if you want to keep the LaunchPad without gesture conflicts and shit navigation. it creates a tiny tab on the right edge of the screen for you to pull out the LaunchPad with, and you can adjust where the tab floats as well.

obviously, the final "Disabled" setting simply disabled the LaunchPad. Bye bye!

the fact that other color schemes for the app are behind a paywall is absolute bullshit by the way and i hate that there's no easy fix for that on mobile.

personally, i like that the vertical server list is here to stay and that DMs are now in a separate place, as this is a bit more similar to the desktop version where servers are vertically listed and DMs are in a different place (albeit still along the left edge).

before you ask, no there's no setting to get the old color scheme and layout back...UNLESS--!!!

(FOR ANDROID USERS ONLY; RIP EVERYONE ELSE.) if discord has become less accessible for you or you simply don't vibe with any of the shit currently going on, then you can download the previous version of the discord app through an APK file. first, disable auto-updates in google play. then uninstall discord from your phone. lastly, follow the instructions on this post that will help you download the necessary file from APKMirror (please note the recommended version is 206.16). do not use a different site, APKMirror is the safe one (well. safest. remember folks nothing online is 100% safe).

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

Does this mean Minato and Kushina also swap roles too? Minato Uzumaki and Kushina Namikaze... I don't know if Minato and Kurama being stuck with each other would be peak comedy or peak travesty! And the hyper-speed punches Kushina could launch if she mastered the Flying Thunder God and Body Flicker techniques... pure terror. Wonder how different the timeline would be if she were hokage!

oh my god yes. 100%. kushina SHOULD have been hokage not because she would have been like any better or anything but just because i love women <3 also it was HER dream it was her dream!!!!! that was her dream!!! her terrible fucked up dream!!! and minato STOLE it. now granted by the time he was taken under consideration as a candidate she was already completely off the table for the job on account of the kyubi. but you know. i'd still love to see her with the hat. and its not like other kages havent been jinchuriki.

ok anyways the neat thing about minato vs kushina is that minato doesnt tend to justify his actions so much as he simply does not think about the fact that they are wrong at all ever. he is so juiced up on propaganda and nationalism that anything he or anyone else does in the name of konoha Simply Cannot Be A Problem. even if the action doesnt do anything to help konoha strictly speaking. no one ever accused him of being capable of critical thinking. KUSHINA on the other hand is like. well sometimes she sees problems and then she closes her eyes and ignores them as hard as she can because konoha HAS to be good. because it has to. so they're actually very similar its just that minato's thought control comes more naturally to him.

i dont really know that this would change in a roleswap? i kind of lean towards it being a more innate part of their personalities than anything. both of them are horribly mistreated by konohas systems in different ways and i think they just have verryyyyy slightly different ways of coping with it. i think kushina might have been like. a slightllyyyy ? better hokage than minato? but not really lol i just think shed lean ever so slightly towards inaction instead of Actively Doing War Crimes. so you know. still bad.

kushina as team 7 sensei goes HARD though because the thing is she would relate less to rin in the superficial ways she does in canon (she wouldnt have experienced the whole "being pushed aside for men thing") and also she would be. about as bad of a teacher as minato LMAO none of these people are qualified to teach im sorry.

minato with kurama makes me INTERESTED because i think that. he would be more open to communicating with him than kushina is but imo i dont think it would work out? idk i always thought the tailed beasts just kind of being ok with helping the people who captured them and will continue to keep them imprisoned for as long as they possibly can was a little bit silly. naruto's allowed to do it because he reached out with the intent of eventually fixing things. but minato would NOT do that and so he would simply not be able to cooperate with kuarma. DESERVED. send that pretty boy to HELL.

overall i dont think these two would be the source of all that much timeline shuffling but i do think that i would like it a lot and also that kushina should be hokage because Pretty Please. i love her.

[sharkneto]

Very iffy on the whole "Five being the founder" thing.. I mean. It's not very surprising that the guy who's power is to time travel is somehow involved in the creation of the time travel committee, but I don't like the Commission (or, I didn't like how they were portrayed in s2) and I kinda would have preferred if they just. Left how it came to be ambiguous and up to interpretation-- But, the idea that they used (are going to use?) Five as some battery for their briefcases, or they study his power to find a way to mimic it, or whatever. That is very interesting to me.

Not sure if that's the way the show is going, but I mean. Five and Lila were able to power up a broken briefcase using Five's power + electrocution so...? There sure is Something there, possibly. And it could be a vague parallel to how the Commission experimented on Five in the comics, assuming that they haven't already done that to show Five. So.. I dunno. It has the potential to be neat. But really that is the only way it will be interesting to me, lmao.

I don't like the idea of Five being the founder of the Commission either. It just continues to validate and redeem the Commission after they were a spectacularly evil villain in S1 - I've ranted before about how the Commission changed from S1 to S2 and the portrayal of Herb and Dot as protagonists rather than antagonists (as they should be) HERE. Five the past two season has been doing everything in his power to stop and get away from the Commission (They want the world to end! They left him to rot in the apocalypse for four decades until he was broken enough to be useful to them!). The Commission is not a good organization and their mission is bullshit and self-serving. And suddenly, Five is the one who founds it??? He's the one who thinks this is a good idea, after he's spent his entire life trying to change the timeline, suddenly he wants an organization that specifically does not allow for change??? Sure, he just lived through an insane paradox that ate the universe and that is what the Commission was hypothetically there to stop from happening (doesn't their jumping around in time changing things make it riskier for a paradox, not less?), but the Commission could do nothing about it anyway and Five ends up in a paradox-proof box by himself in an iron lung??? In what universe does Five go "oh yeah, that's my good ending, I like that". The dude has been obsessively trying to get back to his family for half a century. I refuse to look at this plot point, it does not exist to me.

That said, the only way I even consider "Five is the Founder" is the idea - that is not supported at all by what they set up - is that Five is just a fucked up briefcase battery. They call him the "Founder" because they're mean and have a good sense of irony. That I can get behind because the Commission is that fucked up. They would. He's in his weird paradox box, strapped into that machine because that keeps him contained in case they need more briefcases. Plug him in, zap-zap, new briefcase for time crimes! Great system.

Idk, man. We'll see if they do anything with that if we get a S4 (I hope they don't address it and just drop it like a hot potato), but it just seems so out-of-character for Five to be the genuine founder of the Commission. Only things I liked that came out of that whole journey were fantastic Five and Lila times and the fact Five just carried his fucking skin around instead of finding something to copy the tattoo down onto like a normal person.

[amethystblack]

hello~! i'm trying to learn programming and heard that cass is self taught. that's such an inspiration and i would love to hear about her journey(and any tips) if she's willing to share! thank you all for making such an inspiring game!

ok so let me tell you a story. (you can skip to the bottom if you just want the tips.)

it was the year 2014 and i was visiting a college. one of the events of the day was a department fair where some professor would tell you all about what their department does. so i went up to the chair of the computer science department and said "hey, so, I think computers are neat, but I hate to code. do y'all have anything for that?"

man, those were the days.

fast forward to 2019. i didn't go into computer science. i still hate coding. however, i'm also now on the development team for this fucking video game. i believe it's called, uh, punkymen "james" reborn. this video game runs on an engine called essentials. many of you haven't heard of this "essentials" before (especially from me), but this engine has a reputation for being- and this is a technical term, just stay with me- "bad". it's okay if you're unfamiliar with the term "bad"- you'll become very familiar with it and its association to the aforementioned engine very soon. now i'm still just a lowly text file editor (a term used by assholes who code to describe people who don't code) making a whole bunch of battle content for postgame (wow e19 has been in development for literally ever). i had made the theme teams and had moved onto battle tower sets. i looked into the text files (lol imagine looking at TEXT files) to see what the base sets were and saw. things. horrible things. awful things. things that no one should ever have to see. brightpowder mons? focus band? quick claw? c'mon no one wants to fight that. and they topped out at gen 3! gen 3 wasn't even real c'mon now. so i was like "okay. i gotta redo all these." so i did! but then i got to a pokemon called "deoxys". now you might be thinking "hey, wasn't that still gen 3?" and you're right! but deoxys was banned. (imagine getting a legendary mon and never being able to use it. don't worry we fixed that*.) i'm going through these pokemon alphabetically, and deoxys was the first pokemon to have different forms! (*for most of them. the really strong ones are still banned. sorry kids.) the text files (i know they're so 16th century but stay with me here) don't allow you to change those! they also don't allow you to change abilities. now that i think about it, that was probably the real reason for what i'm about to say. which is that i went into the code to fix it! so i dug into the scripts. (i'm going to take a quick break to say that no one should ever ever ever use the script editor in rmxp. it's really bad. technology has come a long way since dinosaurs roamed the earth. in fact, just don't use rmxp. it's really bad. anyway *coughs) so this wasn't technically my first foray into coding- i took an online c++ class sophomore year of high school (which was online, so it didn't count) and i took ap computer science my senior year (the teacher didn't know anything about computer science, which meant it was self taught, and yeah uh-huh i definitely did all the homework and worked very hard in that class and did not just fuck off to the library every day to play civilization or some shit)- but it was definitely my first real foray. it ended up not being too complicated- i figured out what lines read the text file and just added a few extra parameters to them. it was enough for it to legally count as coding. i had also offered to fix some bugs. my first bug to fix was related to meloetta transforming in battle (ironically, something that i ended up removing entirely later). i didn't fix it. battle code too complicated. didn't wanna. back to text files thanksbye (somewhere in here i did a little more coding in grad school. it was kinda unnotable and got derailed by this "corona" thing you may have heard about. it was in c++ and was frustrating.)

so i mentioned that rmxp was bad and essentials was bad. one way that this manifested was that the game was really slow. i mean really slow. rmxp was an engine made in 2003. essentials was a scriptset made out of silly string. if you managed to get it to run smoothly then, well, you were probably lying. it ran like shit for everyone on every computer. i fuckin hated that. so two things happened. first was that i dug up an engine called mkxp and it made the game run a bit better. still not great! but better. then someone by the name of perrence dropped into ame's patreon server (hello did you know that ame has a patreon? you probably don't because she never talks about it, but this is MY post and IM talking about it and it's right here) and was like "hey this game is really slow and i have a thing called a profiler that will tell you where it's slow". oh man. this was, like, my calling. my sworn duty. my mission. i went apeshit on those scripts. i am not going to go into detail about what i did, since you can read about it on the dev blog. this post is about me. and not only did i go apeshit on those scripts, i googled the fuck out of them, too. my optimization binge was really a perfect storm of factors: i was very highly motivated, had a script with lots of inefficiencies to experiment on, and had a shitload of free time because it was summer during a pandemic. i think i spent 70-80 hours a week for, like, a month or two, just tinkering around with the scripts. anything i wasn't familiar with (which was really a fair amount of stuff) i looked up online. i tried tons of different ways to improve the code until i got tired of the specific issue i was working on and moved on. this whole experience was important because 1.) it made me realize that, hey, maybe i'm not too bad at coding! and 2.) i really like writing clean, pretty, efficient code. so that was really what got me started. i've done a lot since then! the original optimization blitz wa- oh my god it was two years ago what the fuck-- sorry, sorry. i'm ok. whew. the original optimization blitz was (*breathes) two years ago, and it made me comfortable enough with the scripts that whenever i found an issue that annoyed the hell out of me, i could just get rid of it. and i've done that a lot since then! (there'll be another coding post soon, trust)

i, uh, it's been almost an hour and a half.

oops!

so i'll just put in a few general tips:

- coding classes suck and you shouldn't take them (or, at least, nothing beyond the basics) anything you can learn about coding from a class you can learn on the internet. there are tons of tutorials online for general knowledge. even beyond that, if you have a more niche/specific question (hey is there a speed difference between a case statement and a conditional) there's probably a bunch of other people who have also wondered that and one one of them has almost certainly done so on a message board. there's lots of information out there if you're searching for it. which...

- coding class assignments suck and you should avoid them there is not a single person in the universe who has gotten passionate about homework. the only exception to this is when an assignment goes beyond just being homework. part of why i got so into my work was because it wasn't just work- my efforts resulted in a meaningful difference that i could visibly see (granted, i was seeing it in an FPS counter, but that's not nothing!). if you can find something that you can tinker around with and have an enjoyable time doing so, it'll be far better for you than a stupid c++ class. which...

- c++ sucks and you should avoid it ok this isn't actually that true, i'm just sticking to the format. there are a lot of coding languages. they all have their quirks and specific syntax and different uses, but they all follow the same fundamental rules: all you do with code is use logic to mess with data on a computer. that's basically all it comes down to! you tell a computer "hey, this thing does this, and that thing does that, and if this thing is equal to some other thing it should do something else" and you've coded. so find a coding language that you like. i don't like c++! it has a lot of rigid syntax rules and isn't very flexible. low-level coding languages are like that. ruby is great. i like ruby. you can make some really pretty code with ruby. coding in ruby is a little more like writing prose, where coding in c++ is like writing an instruction manual. high-level languages like that are much more pleasant.

one last thing.

- watch out for assholes! so i don't know what gives, but there are a lot of people in this business with really big egos. this is incredibly anecdotal, but i have a running theory that coding classes teach you that there is a "right" way and a "wrong" way to code and, as a result, there are a lot of comp sci majors with their heads up their asses. there was actually a guy who made fun of someone because "real developers" coded and he just edited text files! please never be like that. there was another guy who dropped into my comment section to chadsplain* how to program to me. that guy is still probably off running relic castle, too. coding's more of an art than a science, and "good code" isn't really a thing. obviously i really care about pretty, optimized code, but the thing about code is that most people aren't going to see it anyway. *chadsplain (v.) an explanation given under the assumption of the superiority of the person offering the explanation.

fuck it's been another half hour. i'm just bitching about people at this point anyway, so i'm going to do everyone a favor and cut myself off.

tldr: find a project you like, in a language you like, and google things you don't know. that's all i did.

[helle-bored]

@marzipanilla. You have have opened the floodgates. :P

If I were a different and more patient person I might have started out practicing with elmers glue and cardboard, honestly. But I jumped right in instead, and here's the stuff I use:

Here you've got my regular sewing, gluing, and paper-cutting supplies. (Not pictured: bookcloth, fancy marbled cover paper, cardstock, an extremely scuzzy old ball peen hammer (heehee) I rummaged out of the machine-shop of random tools in various states of dubious usability we inherited from the previous owner of the house.)

Sewing a textblock uses linen thread & beeswax (for the thread), darner or chenille needles, an awl, something to punch into (cardboard), a marked paper to mark your signatures with (the white paper with notches), and a bone folder for creasing folded pages (black thing at the back). Thicker books also require (sort of a strong word, but most people seem to do it) some sort of fabric tape; I have grey twill tape that I got from Joann's.

Gluing uses flour paste for some things and a sturdier PVA glue for others. I do have a brush, but I often just use my fingers tbh.

Before you glue it you can see the tapes when you flip between signatures -- once it's glued the pages are all nice and flush. :) The unglued one on the left is Blackbird by sixpences and the glued one on the right (and the one in most of these pictures) is Weather With You by @thewuzzy, who has kindly allowed me to flail occasionally in their direction while putting together a couple copies of their fic, lol.

I format in Word and print booklet-style from adobe pdf reader with 8.5x11 inch six-page signatures, which works out to be twenty-four 5.5x8.5 inch book-pages in a signature. This means a 360 page book only uses 90 actual full-sized pages, which is good, because I have the paper custom-cut so the grain runs in the right direction. Shipping paper isn't cheap, it turns out.

My family is all aware of my new hobby and they think it's really neat, so they helped me build a press, which is how I glue and round the spine. Above on the right you can see the twill tapes and how I sew the signatures together; this book is about 350 pages or 100k.

Today I was working on rounding the spine and giving it shoulders (that mushroom shape) and sewing on headbands for WWY. This copy has a dark grey-blue thread alternating with blue metallic sewn directly into the top and bottom of the spine.

Those grey boards on the sides are what the case will be made of -- but they're too short. :( There's something I could try, but I'm probably just going to end up buying new boards because I'm kind of terrified of fucking it up, lmao.

The copy with headbands is ready for covering the spine with cloth and paper. Then I need to figure out my board dilemma so I can build the case and put it in there and slap in endpapers and cry when it's a bit crooked.

So anyway. Hours and hours and hours and hours of work, and honestly it's one of the most fun things I've done in months. There's a discord I'm in and everyone is cranking out amazing stuff every day and it's just really fucking neat to see this much love for fanfiction, which is what most of us bind.

(You should bind some star wars stuff! :P lots of people in the server do star wars things.)

[chaoticowlpost]

hello, a prompt for you :) how about the golden and silver trio plus the others all in one house? like they're all holed up in one of draco's family manor or harry's impulsively-bought house and basically chaos ensues

“I told you this was a stupid idea.”

Draco was pacing in his - unreasonably large - bedroom, if that’s what you could call it. Really, it was more like a personal mini-sitting area that was attached to an actual bedroom.

“I blame Ronald,” Blaise snorted, lounging casually on one of the settees. 

“Me?” Harry’s best friend yelped indignantly from where he was lying down on the carpet. “I wasn’t the one who said that there’s no way his parents would come back to find us here.”

“Don’t push that on me, now,” Pansy said haughtily, lying on one side of the large bed. “I wasn’t the one who suggested spending the day indoors.”

“I only suggested it because there’s a lot to do here,” Hermione defended herself. “I forgot that he wasn’t allowed to have people over when I said it. If anything, we should blame Harry.”

“What?” Harry asked, slowly processing that the blame had somehow been passed onto him. “What did I do?”

“You were the one who suggested going through the floo anyway,” Hermione huffed.

“I was just joking!” he said defensively, before snorting. “Besides, it’s not like I pushed you through your own fireplaces while Draco wasn’t looking,”

Harry focused his attention back onto Draco, who was still panicking silently. He felt himself frown at the sight, feeling bad for the other boy. 

“Peer pressure.”

“Oh my gods!” Draco finally said aloud, wailing. “They’re going to kill me.”

“Relax, Draco,” Pansy said softly, empathizing with their friend. “What are the chances they’d come in here?”

“High!” Draco exclaimed, his eyes wide and frenzied. The image was also heightened by how messy his hair had become from running his hand through it repeatedly over the course of the past few minutes. “Very High!”

“Well, what do you suppose we do?” Hermione asked, getting up. “Maybe we can find a way to escape.”

“You’d think with how large your room is, they’d have bothered to link your fireplace to the floo network,” Ron snorted. He had a point, Harry conceded.

They all went silent after that, each one of them thinking of a possible solution before someone decides to come looking for Draco.

“Jump out of the window!”

“What?” Blaise demanded, looking appropriately concerned. 

“Jump out of the window,” Draco repeated, his face showing that he was serious. “It’s the only other way.”

“I’ll break my legs!” Ron protested. “We’re on the third floor!”

“I’’ll break your legs, Weasley, if you lot get caught in here!” Draco hissed, glaring at the redhead. 

“Surely, there’s another solution,” Hermoine interrupted, sounding uncertain.

“Nope,” Draco shrugged before finally plopping himself down on one of the sofas. “There are balconies below that you could land on, which should break your fall.”

“That’s assuming we actually land on them,” Pansy pointed out, an eyebrow raised.

“Sounds like your problem,” Draco huffed, raising a neat eyebrow back at her. “Because I told you not to come here.”‘

This was not how Harry thought he would die.

It was either death by Lucius Malfoy, who would probably make his death more painful once he realizes that Harry has feelings for his son, or death by jumping off a balcony.

Somehow, the balcony option began to look more appealing.

“This is an old, magic house, isn’t it?” Hermione asked rhetorically. “Maybe there’s a secret passageway somewhere?”

“And, pray tell, what makes you think that my magical ancestors would want to use secret passageways when they have magic?” Draco asked, looking like he was on the verge of imploding. 

“It was just a suggestion, mate,” Ron shrugged, somewhat less bothered. He began walking around the room, examining for something. What he was looking for was entirely lost on Harry.

“We’re magic!” Blaise suddenly said out loud, sitting up abruptly.

“Yes, as I’ve been informed at the ripe age of 11,” Harry said, rolling his eyes.

“Watch the tone, Potter,” Blaise said with no malice. “I just mean that we could cast a disillusionment charm on all of us and sneak out of the manor.”

“First of all,” Draco said, exhaling loudly through his nostrils. “The path from here to any possible exit is far; much farther than it would be if you’d jump out of the balcony-”

“Not happening,” Pansy huffed, interrupting him.

“-Secondly, none of us are good enough at that charm to go completely undetected,” Draco said pointedly. “And, really, five teenagers trying to creep out quietly? Fat chance.”

“We’re gonna die before we graduate. Mum is going to kill me,” Ron wailed dramatically, giving up on his investigation. “Maybe if we-”

A knock sounded from the door.

“Hide!” Draco instructed, throwing insults at them under his breath as he moved around the room. 

“Where?” Harry asked, looking around. They could shut the doors to the bedroom so Lucius would only see the sitting area, but they’d still be in plain sight.

“The bathroom!” Draco said, pointing towards one of the doors on the side of the room.

“But-”

“Not now, Harry,” Hermione sighed, grabbing him by the arm. She practically dragged him into the bathroom while the others followed closely behind them before shutting the door.

“We’re still pretty obvious,” Harry pointed out, a sense of dread filling him. Maybe it was time to accept their fate.

“The shower,” Pansy suggested. “It’s mostly hidden by the wall, so they’d have to actually go in to see us.”

“Are we going to fit?” Harry asked worriedly. They were 5 teenagers, after all. 

“Draco has a large bathroom,” Blaise shrugged, stepping in. They could have stood, but who knew how long they were going to be in there. So that’s how they found themselves practically pressed against one another - shoulder to shoulder - with their knees drawn up on the dry, shower floor.

“Father!” They could hear Draco’s voice through the walls.

“You’d think that the door would be thicker, all things considered,” Ron snorted before promptly getting smacked upside the head by his girlfriend.

“Quiet,” she hissed. “If we can hear them, there’s a chance that they can hear us.”

“Maybe we should just come out and confess,” Harry said, feeling himself start to panic. He hasn’t even asked Draco out yet, and his parents would already hate him.

Fuck, this was not how he wanted their first meeting to go. 

“Are you mad?” Blaise asked him, his voice a harsh whisper. “Draco’s dad might actually kill us. There’s no way I’m stepping out there.”

“Same here,” Ron shrugged, looking at him apologetically. 

“But at least if we just admit that we’re here, we wouldn’t look as bad as we do getting caught like this,” Harry pointed out.

“Trying to make a good impression, are you?” Pansy scoffed. If only she knew how true that statement rang. 

“Shut up,” Harry said instead. “I don’t want to die.”

“Well, we’re going to die anyway because-”

“-Tell me honestly, Draco,” the older Malfoy’s voice drawled through the walls. “Is there someone else in here?”

-————————————————-

Masterlist

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Also based on true events JFJHSBF Thank you for reading <3

[scarlettkat86]

Counting Sheep

**don't read if you don't want fluff/smut, recreational drug use/alcohol**

@naromoreau and @youre-my-boshaw-baby I finally finished this thing.

Liz opened the door to the Spread Eagle, immediately ambushed and bear hugged by Nick. "Goddamn, you beautiful son of a bitch. I ain't never seen anything like that before. Good to have you back in one piece kiddo, I was beginning to worry."

"Glad to be back too Nick, I could really use a stiff drink or 5." Liz groans as she takes a set at the bar.

"Hey, nice to have you back. Anything you want, on the house tonight." says Mary May.

"No need to do that, I'll have a double shot of whiskey, neat."

"I insist, after all you gave us something we never thought we'd never have again, hope."

Amber liquid filled her glass, the rich, smoky undertones working to sooth her aches and pains away. It seemed like everyone had shown up to celebrate taking down the youngest Seed brother.

Looking around, all of her friends looked so happy, and that made her smile. _Like it or not, this was the right thing to do. _

There was only one person she was hoping to see, and would be lying if she said she wasn't disappointed that he wasn't the first one to welcome her back. Loud voices carried from the back corner of the bar.

"Now i'm a gamblin man and I'll bet you a twenty and some uh, some woods porn, that you can't even hit the board Hurkie."

"When the hell did you find woods porn man!? You're on amigo. Hey everybody, watch this!" Liz watched as Hurk chugged an entire bottle of vodka, then started spinning around in circles. A small crowd had formed, rooting him on. This looked like a disaster waiting to happen. Taking another moment to watch Sharky, she smiled sadly. _I should just go drag him back to my place, let him know he's what keeps me going. Probably not gonna get any time with him tonight anyway, too many people, too much noise. _

A huff from her side brought her attention back. "Gross, are you over here eyefuckin Sharky?"

Liz nearly choked on her drink, "What?! I-I, no, the fuck Jess?"

"Hey you're the one too distracted to hear me. Still can't believe yall haven't- never mind, I'd rather not think about it."

"Not my fault your mind is in the gutter."

"Whatever. I'm shit at small talk, but I wanted to say i'm glad you're back. Those Seed fuckers have a way with gettin in your head, be glad you haven't caught Jacob's attention yet."

Liz shook her head and smiled.

Yeah I'd rather not catch any attention, yet here I am...

"Bless your heart. Careful now Jess, that almost sounded like you care. Listen, you're my best friend, but I can see you're itchin to get out of here, so go on, before I change my mind."

That makes Jess snort.

"Asshole. I ain't gotta be told twice, 'sides, I got better shit to do then watch you watch that idiot. Take care Liz, I'll see ya in the Whitetails."

She stared at the empty glass sat on the counter before her. Walking behind the bar, Liz grabs a bottle of North Fork whiskey and heads for the door.

*Sharky's POV

He'd seen her walk through the door. Damn if she wasn't the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Not cuz she was beautiful, she is, but cuz he'd been worried sick the last few days of radio silence. He'd been pissed that she didn't take him with her, but it was her call, Nick deserved to help her take down that fuckface more than any one of her friends. Still didn't stop his stomach from twisting in knots every night that passed without a word from them. He wants to go kiss her, hold her, tell her how much he realizes now that he's in love with her. She's got a crowd though, and it's only been a couple months since she'd shown up in his life, unsure of how she'd react to a declaration of love, so he stays rooted in place. He's drinking, placing a bet he's seriously gonna regret if he loses. Glancing over again he sees her heading out the front door. *

Standing at the river's edge just outside of Falls End, Liz felt like she could breathe again. She barely escaped the Spread Eagle, so many thank yous she lost count.

Rummaging through her bag, she was relieved to find the baggie she was searching for. "Deal with the devil ain't so bad when he leaves a little lettuce to get by on." Liz laughs at her dumbass joke.

_Really have jumped from upholding the law to breaking it, guess a little weed is nothing when you think about it. _

Lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice someone had followed her.

Walking up from behind, Sharky grabs Liz by her waist. Startled Liz grabs her knife and yelps in surprise when she realizes who it is. "Fuck, Sharky, don't sneak up on me like that! I could've killed you!!" Taken aback by the knife to his throat Sharky swallows. "Shit, not like you to not notice someone tailing you chicka. You mind uh, putting the knife away because i'm not really into that sorta thing." Putting the knife back in its holster Liz laughs and tries to slow her racing heart. Sharky looks down and presses his lips to hers, soft and sweet. She slowly breaks the kiss and sits down.

"Hell yeah, some grass and party liquor, you tryin to impress me shorty, cuz it's workin."

He laughs and rolls the joint neat, tight as he can and seals it with his tongue.

Once they've smoked the whole thing, Sharky takes her hand in his. "Ya know, i'm glad you're back in one piece, things wouldn't be the same without ya." He wants to say that's an understatement, that he don't think he would be able to go forward without her, but he just stands up and pulls her to her feet, "Now allow me to be the gentleman that I am, and escort you back to the party inside."

"You think you can just, drive me back to my place? I'd rather just have you with me for the night."

"That sounds a million times better than finding out if I still own the only woods porn in all of Hope county. "

Opening the door to her house, Liz heads for the kitchen, she pulls out a metal tin with a few blunts already packed. "Damn johnny law, you been holding out on me!" While Sharky lights one up, she mixing a couple drinks. "I've had a couple bad influences. Now pass it over."

The smoke filled her lungs, slowly turning her limbs to jelly and clearing her mind. Sharky slowly walks to her phone, picking out some music. "Boshaw, I swear I am in no mood for disco music."

"Relax Izzy, I've got something a little different picked out."

A slow sensual beat fills the room, and Sharky looks at her with a hunger in his eyes. He grabs her by the waist and starts to rock her side to side to the beat. The lyrics start and he's singing in her ear, "tonight, I've got nothing on my mind but you..." kissing her lips then down her neck,

"don't you take a bow at the last curtain call.. thinking you're nobody's nothing after all..."

Biting her lip and suppressing a moan, she slides her hands under his hoodie, slowly pulling it off. "Fuck Izzy, i'm tryin to be a gentleman here, but you're makin me hard." He says, voice hoarse and shaky.

"I know. I need you Sharks." she says with a smile, as she turns her back to his chest and grinds into him, slowly moving side to side with the music, discarding her own shirt along the way.

He takes a hold of her full hips, pressing himself against her. With one hand he follows the curve from her hips, over the softness of her stomach and the swell of her breast, finally putting a hand on her throat fingers brushing the side of her jawline. His other hands fingers sliding between her thighs. All she could feel was the heat that spread through her, a half sob of pleasure escaping her lips. It had been a year since she felt a touch not her own.

"Bedroom, now" she whispered to him, discarding her pants along the way.

Sharky pushes her to the bed suddenly and pulls her panties off. The sight of her made his mouth water. Soft dark curls in a neat strip. He blew a hot breath and she gasped. Then his tongue replaced his breath, precise swipes parting her folds and latching onto her clit. She looked down into his eyes, a silent plea to make her cum. He held eye contact and alternated between quick flicks of his tongue and circular motions, sliding a finger inside her core.

"Damn Izzy you taste so good, wanna make you cum."

She was teetering on edge already, each nerve on fire, legs tingling, and just when she thought she would finally find sweet release, he'd pull back and lick up her juices. Sliding two fingers inside easily now, he curled upwards to find her bundle of nerves, and closed his mouth around her clit and sucked. He could feel her beginning to pulse around his fingers, back arching, head flung back, "Look at me Iz, I wanna see you."

That sent her over the edge, locking eyes with him again, she felt pure bliss as she came around his fingers. Lapping up the rest of her juices he moved up her body, stopping to tease each nipple on the way, finally kissing her lips. The taste of herself on his lips sent another wave of pleasure through her body and mind. "I need to feel you Sharky, please.."

The neediness in her voice making him even harder. He unfastened his pants, pulling them off. She felt him spring free, sliding the head of his cock up and down her folds, then lines himself up with her entrance, filling her excruciatingly slow. She's already clenching around him, a perfect fit, slightly thicker than she's used to, but he feels like heaven. He can't hold back and slams in to the hilt, causing them both to moan in sync. Pulling out to thrust back in lazily again and again, Sharky is running his hands down her body, one taking place on her clit.

“I'm not gonna last long babe, fuck. You're so tight and wet." Biting her bottom lip she nods her head, "Me either, just fuck me." She wraps her legs around him, pulling him in closer as he picks up pace. They're both panting, moaning curses, as their bodies match rhythm. She can feel him twitch and knows he's close, so she slides her hand down between their bodies and takes over her clit. He pulls her leg over his shoulder changing angles, hitting that perfect bundle over and over. White hot pleasure tingles every inch of her body, and she's crying out his name like the most beautiful melody ever heard. He's not far behind, pulling out at the last possible second. He growls an almost animalistic sound, hot spurts of his cum coat her inner thigh and stomach. Sharky rolls off her, grabbing a shirt to clean up the mess, then pulls her into his arms, kissing the nape of her neck. "I love you Lizbeth." She's quiet for a minute and he's praying to whatever god, monkey jesus, whatever, that he hasn't fucked this up. Then she's looking up at him, smiling the most brilliant smile, "I love you too Sharks. Always."

[ghostly-squid]

Homestuck for the ask thing :)

Hello Time Traveler guess I'm doing this!

(I don't mind at all I just don't think about Homestuck that much anymore except for when I DO so I'm going to try)

(Also can you read my mind because I was indeed thinking about Homestuck this morning)

Anyway, here we go! I hate half these memes!!! I'm literally copying the ask entirely because I need the definitions too. Also: keep in mind I never finished Homestuck, and didn't read any of the extra after stuff! It's literally been like 5 years or more since I read it, the cobwebs have cobwebs is what I'm saying. Also very few of these have one character answers for me: my heart is big and full of love.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Karkat, probably. I'm a sucker for "acts like an asshole but is actually just Socially Lacking and Cares Too Much" I also love Dave a lot for the same reason. I also like them because they're so Fucked Up, but the way they react is interesting to me??? Like they don't go full asshole about it, and it's not Too Relatable for me (Like with Kanaya or Rose) Like they're weird and fucked up but trying so fucking hard. (I also really like Dirk and like idk what's going on with the meta there???? But I love the Striders like a lot people who do direct comparisons between Bro and Dirk without factoring in that one was being mind-fucked by a genocidal puppet with fascist tendencies are Not My Friends)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Roxy is the most beautiful bitch she is literally the most emotionally self-aware but is one of the ones with the least stable environment (all the Alpha kids are fucked but Roxy and Dirk are double fucked) I love her I want to wrap her in blankets and stuff her with cookies and smack all her friends except Calliope who would help me sit on her so I could give her juice. Calliope is also Baby. (ALL the characters I like a lot are baby but I'm trying to narrow down the list)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Literally don't know who is underrated, OH WAIT NO! ARADIA! Underrated fave, she's my girl, I love everything about her! The creepy vibes, the general aesthetic, the ANTHROPOLOGY!!! She's just neat! Also love Kanaya, but idk who doesn't love her, I think of her and I smile :) Vampire Chainsaw Lesbian From Space, literally, she's just gold across the board

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): There are so many FUCKING CHARACTERS like they're all obscure anon WHY. Post Mistress? She has mom vibes and I dig that, especially when her mom vibes transcend into "I'm going to rip your throat out with my Teeth you Piece of Shit 🐺🙃" vibes, like amazing glow-up!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Jake is trying so hard but he's so fucking bad at it. I see him and am like "aw babe, no. kid, kid please, PLEASE stop." Like that "is he trying to tie his shoes? he's crying" meme. It's like when you see someone doing stuff so terribly you just want to take it from them and fix it yourself. Same vibes for Dirk. (I also secretly like Gamzee and want more information on what the FUCK is going on with him. Like I legit liked his character to start with but we are at the point of "I want to study you to figure out what is wrong with you" but I would keep him in a nice space with plenty of enrichment while doing so) Rose is also a Disaster but I love her So Much

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): I like to put the Amporas in a jar and shake it 🥰 Literally so annoying, but I love reading fanfic where they get led around by the nose by characters I like more who think they're cute and pathetic. Everyone is allowed to be mean to them they suck and should face the consequences for their bullshit. Character development should hurt sometimes, and Eridan is a perfect example of one such character. Same vibe for Equius. Characters I LIKE who I want to torment on purpose (but only a little) are like Karkat, Dave, Kanaya, Lalondes. Characters I like who I want to torment on purpose (but kind of a lot) are like Dirk, Jake, Sollux, and Gamzee because like he's just asking for it.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Caliborn: I literally do not care about what he has to say ever. Do I UNDERSTAND that weird alien children with no adults besides weird crazy clowns are going to be weird and fucked up? Yes. Do I want to hear about it? NO.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

This had to be explained to me this morning...

Okay why I don't fucking know and they won't bother because it's fucking dumb and lazy I'm quite sure.

But.

Apparently I won't be home for Christmas, Annabelle and I will be stuck out at the Uncle, Clone, Socrates Christmas Horror with probably my cousin Chris.. Maybe my brother...

And so I said "what are people supposed to think? They're supposed to be happy and experiencing new things, this is old shit and for me?! That's gonna make them feel even worse knowing I can't be with my Kidd over some stupid invalid shit that I don't even understand except it's just plain laziness, idiotic and definitely developed by a male!! A male that's lazy about his family!!"

William: let me defend myself

Me: shut up

So I was told by someone, someone i stole a gun from shortly before my faux 16th birthday in an attempt to help save the planet (Not William but an undercover CIA agent), that in his heart he was told that this Christmas when people look around think 'Sabrina is missing out on this kind of happiness with her family' that they should remember and realize that the sadness they feel for me was felt for millions of human trafficked victims world wide, every Christmas and every holiday.

Some of us didn't know about it. Or had forgotten. So let this be the last Christmas any one is sad. It will always be a serious issue in our hearts and minds and souls. But not forever should we carry the burden of sadness and fear.

This year is the eradication of the solitude of the sadness of each Holiday being sad. Now we all know why gramma would sit in the chair alone hugging herself quietly at,the end of the day or sit the camcorder in the corner and refuse to participate like a granddaughter thought she should and try to get her to interact more because she didn't seem happy enough.

This Christmas: the sadness shall be replaced with cheer. The fear with triumph and joy.

And yes you will remember I'll not be happy and my kids without their parents.

But they have my real mom and dad. My real twin brother. Their not real Uncle that loves them as much as a dad. And many more people, nearly 100 in their neat home giving them best wishes and having Christmas dinner.

No way in Hell nor God's green Earth would i allow them to miss Christmas.

So today they will open presents from Uncle Garth and tomorrow Trisha's stockings, the next day from the Dildo King who has been making new things with his family (faux Uncle Garth and real Uncle Matt) that i asked Uncle to purchase 3 years ago in preparation of taking care of my children. And on down. And hopefully I'll be able to get there while Christmas is still happening.

I'm there in spirit as i always have been and that is my Christmas Lesson to know I cared about Children i didn't know i had. And for Declan and Annabelle, too. To know they also assumed one day they would feel Christmas joy as they once had when they were little and alone, listening to little voices explain how things were different where they lived yet no matter how close they felt they knew things were too far to really feel the Christmas joy as they should. This year they will know why.

As Declan explains. Its beautiful because they never expressed unhappiness or even jealousy or loneliness, just an eagerness to understand what they were missing out on because their belief was one day they would experience it out of slavery and here with us.

And it's true. Since my divorce... The ability to do Christmas All big and strong has dwindled... Because i have too much pain, mostly physical and can't gather the strength to make it perfect in every way. And as getting older goes Declan couldn't also hide his worries from his soulmate. Although we worked together to make it best for Annabelle. For us it was more about "Thank God it's Done and everything went perfect"

So this year... Apparently William's laziness wants us to feel that before Christmas. -.- or at Christmas. -.- like i really care. We still have so much work to do! We have mental health and we have bunkers to redo so they're not bunkers and factories to move and figure out what to do with. And employ people at a rate that doesn't cause insane inflation. Like work is never over. So Idk whst the fuck hes thinking. Im All about letting those miserable souls we can't get the missle at think they can enjoy Christmas. Pay a lot of someone's an insane amount of money to miss Christmas and sit outside their house and shadow shot them when they attempt to leave. Drop down the fucking chimney at night... Now that it's raining because the world cries for us...maybe that's not the best idea but still you get the picture. See, my husband is lazy and has no defenses. But i still love him anyways although his life woild be easier if he just listened and didn't pretend he didn't ever hear whole discussions we had where he was all "oh that's so smart!!" And make new plans when he sure as Hell knew i wasn't listening and my face looked like this:

And he tells me i should take a picture of myself because hes too afraid to tell me i look mad and wants to soften things up.

Uh Yeah when you abandon me in Hell when i fully expressed that i wanted him to come back full body in our old truck and drive me to Macy's in Oklahoma So we can get the kids Christmas presents in the form of bedding and some holiday clothing like nice dresses and suits. That they can wear while playing in mud puddles because that's what life is about as stains are like scars but stains remember less pain usually, and more laughter than tears and fears. Then he could leave me at Uncle Garths while he goes back to work. So we could spend the whole drive together and shopping time and then Declan could caravan with us.

But no. Hes all about abandonment because its easy. -.-

And now he's like way way beyond scared. Well that's what a mad face is about. Its the door to truth. And truth isn't always happy or pretty.

Its scary. And it's real. And it doesn't go away. Its Not just a point of view, it is total truth. Its at least 2 points of view and a validation.

When i told him what i wanted he promised he could do it and wss very happy.

So then later he's rambling about me stsying here while im busy making gingerbread houses and I'm quite sure he inhaled too much Stevia powder we used for snow.

William: hey now I don't wanna be in control anymore i want my wife to tell me what to do!

Uncle Donald: are you trying to hide behind Uncle Donald?

William: I'm heading that way!

Uncle Donald: well you get back to body life for yourself and we will make sure you get there safe. If not we will Chinook her express. How does that sound?

William: well uhhh how does that sound to you? Im asking Uncle Donald.

Uncle Donald: well you have a period of 2 hours to decide then we are taking her and the kids and Uncle Dan, as she calls him, with respect because hes always been kind to her.

Me: sounds good to me

William: what about those other guys that have been fighting for her?

Me: Christmas comes the same time every fucking year. Like you they ain't spent it with me so they obviously don't care.

William: well uh they care, now.

Me: because they have an opportunity to and they're all taking too long. What? We put the calender on pause because they didn't make their own opportunities? No they hurry the fuck up. Maybe they will make it but not fair to my children to wait on them to finish and any husband od kine will understand that.

William: not if they always lived in a bunker

Me: well that is why we already placed human trafficking victims with their families as best and as fast as we can So that they can learn to understand. Because it's not something that can be taught, its something that's felt only when together in happiness and love in a group. Its like having a whole meal and not just a bag of chips.

William: that's all you gotta say.

Uncle Donald: Sabrina...

Me: we already have a standing plan from August. It will be easy.

Uncle Donald: that's all

Me: thank you. And Merry Christmas.