#(fuck me i forgot u can only have like 10 pics in one thing)

[warvariations]

oh my god yesterdayy. so the place wasn't as messed up as when i went to have a look on saturday, turns out they were fixing the sewage system on the street in front and that's why it stank, yesterday it didn't thankfully. well first of all the boss forgot to put up my pictures on the website so i didn't have any bookings and i had to contact him personally and get my pics up which was stressful and caused me to waste my morning, once that got sorted some bookings did come through and the work itself was chill except for the last guy who basically wrestled me the entire time trying to take advantage of me because he was pissed that we were behind on schedule, thankfully i've done this for over 10 years + i did a 2 day intimacy coordination session on how to wrestle someone on a bed when we shot Bliss and i handled it very gracefully and firmly but i definitely didn't need any of that bs. which only happened because the fucking hausfrau literally bullied me all day and caused me to be behind on schedule and also too afraid to end the booking early cause i didn't feel looked after by her, rather the opposite. it all started with my first client requesting 'intimate shaving' which is an extra they offer where u shave the client's genitals in the tub, this gets you 10 extra and is done without any form of protection, you're basically supposed to very likely come into contact with the client's blood for a mere 10 euro. i said i wasn't willing to do that and neither was i willing to do watersports because i can barely pee when i'm alone let alone on someone (it used to be chill but now i can't do it anymore, it's not about the piss i just can't let go) and instead of being like okay it's your choice she yelled at me that if i "didn't wanna do anything" there was no point in me being there. neither saturday nor yesterday did anyone take care of explaining anything to me and the hausfrau would reply harshly if i asked questions but then yell at me if i didn't follow the protocol exactly (like where to get new oil, how to set up the room, in what order to do certain things... basic stuff that a hausfrau is meant to show you on your first day). it felt really anachronistic, a massage parlor in berlin in 2024 does not need to be run like that. also like, there are not enough rooms for the amount of bookings/workers and the shower is in the kitchen, the shower being also the 'smokers room' like. it's giving trafficking. the bullying went on all day and she would often get other people involved to laugh at me / speak about me loudly in different languages knowing i couldn't fully understand but did understand it was about me, literally for the mere sake of it. it's not like i can't handle that, i went to school for 15 years and this is just how my teachers acted, but i really do not need to, especially for 60 an hour. at least one client paid me double and got my contact and the other 2 were gentle and respectful. i'm supposed to go in on thursday and there's a different hausfrau on thursdays (who seemed nicer) but i don't think i wanna risk it. a rate that's 1/4 of my outcall rate is sth i was willing to accept for the safety a parlor would provide but this woman went out of her way to make me unsafe; on an outcall i wouldn't have been late on schedule which wouldn't have caused me to deal with an angry client and i would have left if the client crossed any boundaries repeatedly. and that's that! fuck that bitch and the shitty atmosphere she's created in there and fuck the pimps who run that place.

[willoftrees]

Finally got to sit down and eat after being on my feet for about 9 hours today in the kitchen, baking stuffs for tomorrow.

I grew the two medium/small sugar pumpkins myself~

The mini sugar pumpkin was a halloween leftover i was experimenting with. It turned out to have a sweeter taste than the larger pumpkins, so i tossed it in the pureé~

Once they were done baking, the pumpkins looked like soft golden brown baked bread rolls to me. XD

I forgot to take pics of the pureé and entire mix once i had it all together, and i forgot to take any pics of the dough making process as well, but here is the pumpkin pie!

Here is the recipe i used for the pumpkin pie!

I definitely used about a half a cup, to an entire cup more than it called for in pumpkin pureé, - i wanted to use it all. XD i also used two cups of heavy cream instead of one each milk and cream. 👍

-------------

As for the apple pie, we bought some apples from the store to use as our neighbors tree dropped all of its apples in late august so we had to improvise ~

I use a peeler to get the slices suuuuper thin.

I also forgot to take process pics fjshdhdh. Also this is my first time doing the lattice thing and i decided to do it last minute. =u

I also used her recipe for the pie crust of both pies!

I prettymuch swear by this lady's recipes - i found her on DeviantArt a looooooooooong time ago from an aesthetic picture of her beanut butter chocolate cake and wanted to make it some day. (Still haven't). I have however, made her chicken and dumplings and it's the fucking BOMB! Look it up on her website, i have enough links here for now. XD

---------------------------------

For the cookies, they were also a last minute decision - i decided we didn't have enough sweets for tomorrow despite my hubby also making puff pastries lmao.

I could not tell you for the life of me where i found this recipe, i found it so long ago! I memorized it because it's super simple:

1 cup peanut butter

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla

Roll the stuff all mixed together into little golf balls, grab a fork and squish them down a little, then bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown, it should make a nice crisp tapping sound if you tap the tops with a fork. If they cave in a little, you light wanna give them a bit longer. The harder the crust, the crispier the cookies will be~ if they are a little gooey when you first take them out, let them cool off and they will set.

You can also use crunchy peanut butter iff you want peanuts in your cookies!

Or get creative and add chocolate chips or peanut butter chips AND chocolate chips if u want it to be extra tasty. ;3

Ty if you read all of this! Let me know if you make any of these! =D

---

Edit: i just noticed i put "beanut butter" somewhere. I meant peanut butter but it made me giggle so i am leaving it.

[aphrodite1288]

Do they know u boo?! Cause im sure as fuck them dont. Also, ks got caught by random exols that exposed him on twt. Are you all so crazy to think that some random exol wouldnt mention and take pinture of them and throw it all over Internet if they saw them in europe or usa. Cmon. Lol.

They do know me boo 😅 I met them years ago and I never shared anything I'm the biggest example to invalidate your argument you're using to prove me wrong 🤦🏻😂

I attended all their concerts and met them in Japan several times I even met them backstage, I don't like to brag but I'm a VIP I even met Twice and BTS, NCT, MonstaX, Fx, BOA, SNSD, Bigbang, Vixx, 17, IU, Sunmi, Manamoo in Backstage 😉. In Europe Kaisu weren't caught because honey when they want to hide they can as we said many times: idols are Ninjas! Have you ever heard of Chen with his gf dating?? Didn't you know it until she was 7 months pregnant??same with Bobby's wife! Why NO ONE TOOK PICS OF THEM? WHY THEY WERE NEVER CAUGHT?? While they were in korea all the time and Jongdae went with his wife few times to LA for 10 days and no one knew 😉 And many more celebrity couples. I saw Kaisu in Osaka and kyoto and I wasn't able to recognized them if they didn't talk. They don't go around in big famous and crowded streets with no masks or caps on?? Also Ksoo and Ji mostly go to country side and very private hotels and far away places 😉 also it's only you who didn't hear about them traveling. We all know, I understand you feel left out.

Most fans who saw them took down their posts because of S/M and expect us one day to disappear as well! When we're warned. I personally know the person who met Kadi at an extremely secluded hotel restaurant in Europe thanks to Admin fallone who lived there. Please don't come at me with your stupid basic non-logical arguments coz they're invalid and you came to the wrong person who has proof and Answers of all your questions. If only I could share what I have but I can't, also you don't deserve it.

Listen I know you're only saying this to come at us using the "ksoo is gay' card in order to attack us but I know you're the type of fan who reads "ksoo X your-name" typa fanfics 😂 I bet you dream of ksoo Oppa pinning you against the wall and fucking you hard. It's okay to say you're homophobic and that you can't accept he's gay when you promised to love him and support him no matter what with all his qualities and flaws, andI understand you're disappointed in him and in yourself that you couldn't keep your promise.

Sorry I won't pop your fanfic-ish bubble fantasy. It's okay to be "Oppa is mine" typa fan, no need to be ashamed and pretend to be into "ksoo is gay and I'm okay with it " typa fan just to seem cool and not come off as homophobic and get yourself attacked and your ass dragged down since it's 2022 and homophobia is no longer a thing and you can't fit in and you hate it. Stop fighting with yourself and say it: you're homophobic. I'm gay and I had many experiences with homophobic people who hide it like you. I can smell y'all 😅 I'm no longer responding to your asks. IF you don't like Kadi and you're homophobic you can go to zillions of accounts shipping ksoo with females go there and enjoy your fantasies with people who share your interest, why bothering us? Oh! Wait I forgot you also don't like that since you're an "Oppa is mine and he fucks me every night in my dreams" typa fan.

@Admin_Yoshida

[letoscrawls]

Hiiiii

I hope you're doing well!

I would like to ask if u have and advise about starting and art account on insta. I have a small one here on tumblr but people say insta is better for art accs. So I just create an account and start posting? Or do I promote myself in some way, maybe taking dtiys and other challenges?

Thanks in advance:D

Hi! thank you so much for checking on me! :) 

okay, i get this question quite often and i wish i could give you solid advice, but the problem with instagram right now is its algorithm. when i started my account it wasn’t that fucked up, so i don’t really know how it is for new artists who have just started their accounts now! but i can tell you that it really affected every artist, even the bigger ones, so please keep that in mind. if you “fail” to reach your audience it’s not your fault, instagram is literally sabotaging artists and i don’t know for how long it’ll be “the best platform for art”. so just to warn all of you, i don’t want you to compromise your mental health for a social platform that makes money out of our stress and insecurities, i’ll try to share what i think could work because sharing art can be really rewarding and shouldn’t be an ordeal so i’d be happy to help somehow!!!!!

so this is the “algorithm tricks” part: 

when i first opened ig, i remember my stories were viewed by at least 100 people for the first two days even though i had less than 10 followers, so i think that’s instagram way to encourage you to keep posting, so my first advice would be to post your art in the stories too, at least for the first week or something?? now, i know the algorithm is currently promoting reels, so if you’re skilled with those go for it! make videos of your creating process and stuff like that. it’s important to inform your followers when you make a new post bc the chances of it being noticed are higher, you have to do the work bc ig won’t show that post to most of your audience (did i mention that i hate whoever made this algorithm?? yes??) i’m not really sure about this but i think ig prefers the reels you make with their set of editing tools instead of just uploading a pre saved video (i think it’s their way to sabotage those who post their tiktoks), i’ve never tried them so i don’t really know what they’re like, but i’m pretty sure tiktok is way better. i read somewhere that IGTV aren’t ig big thing anymore, so i don’t think you’d get much engagement from them. in general i’d say to always promote your posts in your stories and to wait at least an hour before editing a post bc i think you’ll lose engagement if you edit it right after posting (i know, it’s so stupid).

the use of hashtags is the only thing that i approve, because it’s an helpful tool made by social media before it got so bad and they really help you to reach more people (that’s like their purpose, i just wish there weren’t dozens of other stupid rules to follow in order to be noticed besides hashtags). so using tags like “art”, “artists on instagram” and “daily art” along with tags related to the pic you posted (like the name of the character or the fandom etc) is really helpful, just don’t use unrelated tags bc it’s annoying and idk how convenient it is :P the last thing is promoting your posts by using the sponsored feature; i never used that because i’d rather eat a slug than give money to instagram, but if you have the possibility and you are okay with that then you could try!

now for the “artsy” part

artists have found many ways to bypass the algorithm and keep the community alive over the years, challenges are probably the best way to do so! dtiys are awesome, not only they help you get more recognition, but they also make artists incredibly happy! i should host one very soon myself, i’m looking for a pose and an outfit to draw one of my ocs in, hopefully you’ll see it soon! i cannot explain how happy it makes me to see people draw a character of mine, and it’s great to see them in so many different styles, so i highly recommend dtiys! usually the artists who host them post the entries in their stories too, so yeah, you should definitely try those! there are other challenges like art vs artist, memes etc, it’s incredible how creative the community is despite all! and lastly, draw fan art! contributing to a fandom with your art is so cool, personally i prefer it over original content most of the time, i feel the need to share my point of view and to let out all the idiotic thoughts i have when i consume some kind of media so i’m really biased, but every artist is different, so don’t force yourself to do something if you don’t feel like doing it! drawing something you don’t particularly enjoy because you want to get recognition is gonna make you burnout REALLY BAD, trust me, i personally think that passion>effort, so never forget to put your enjoyment first!!!! 

okay this took me a while and i hope it was helpful! good luck!!! i definitely forgot something dskfjhis

[rqsie]

bts fanfic recommendations.

(hiiii, these are my favorite fics ever. i highly recommend all of them. btw these are all manxwoman bc i dont really read manxman

btwww i couldnt tag all accounts cuz for some annoying ass reason tumblr only lets u tag 50 accounts.... sorry)

kim seokjin:

dont wanna fall (m) by @9uk

sugar daddy!seokjin

love bite (m) by @taetaesbaebaepsae

vampire!y/n

these wicked delights (m) by @ditzymax

incubus!seokjin

the leather loafers by @jimlingss

cinderella au (cinderella aus are superior and ofc jimlingss is a queen. everything she writes is a 10/10)

min yoongi:

heaven’s winter (m) by @matchakoo

seraph!yoongi

2.1 out of 5.0 (m) by @minflix

black mirror au

mixtape (m) by @jungblue

baby, you can drive my car (m) by @jungshookz

mechanic!yoongi

jung hoseok:

heartbeat (m) by @joonbird

gang au (i LOVEE heartbeat so much. everybody should read it, its so good)

the worst wonderful time of the year by @lamourche

christmas au, office au

my soul to reap (m) by @readyplayerhobi

reaper!hoseok, harpy!y/n

the purge by @jungblue

purge au

distractions (m) by @dreamscript

may the odds ever be in your favor (m) by @yandearest

hunger games au, yandere!hoseok

hot rod (m) @kinktae

greaser!hoseok (yes i think its the best of all of the rewind fics. sorry bitchin' stans 😴)

kim namjoon:

a taste of heaven (m) by @joonited

(read this NOW!! its really short anyway)

runaways (m) by @littlemisskookie

nerd!namjoon (yall read all the warnings first cuz its honestly kinda fucked up 😳)

thrills found on solid ground (m) by @bibbykins

soft yandere!namjoon (even though its a yandere au its really really soft yandere, i could hardly tell tbh, and its literally so good)

castaways (m) by @rmnamjoons

desert island au (this took me so long to read but definitely worth it)

wrap it up (m) by @1997jk

the dragons lair (m) by @solastia

hybrid!namjoon

park jimin:

otherworldly (m) by @sinning-on-a-sunday

coraline au, yandere!jimin (coraline and jimin. it doesnt get better than that me thinks)

ragdoll (m) by @ausblack

hybrid!jimin

i love you by @seokjinchuriki

vampire!jimin (GUYSSS,,,,, this one is so short but fuck i love it so much.... 😭😭 i would die for vampire jimin)

chained to you (m) by @addicktjimin

fuckboy!jimin

peaches & piercings (m) by @matchakoo

cheerleader!y/n, punk!jimin

kim taehyung:

stuck with you (m) by @jungshookz

roommates au (i think the best thing about all this fic are the drabbles. they really make her characters feel so alive)

tempting (m) by @kinktae

demon!taehyung (again literally everything this queen writes is amazing!!!!!!! but im not afraid to admit that i think tempting is her best work 😌)

pretty kitten (m) by @sweetheartjeongguk

hybrid au, camgirl!y/n

worshippers of the sky by @jimlingss

greek goddess!y/n (my second favorite series ever i think. i deadass cried at the end of the last chapter purly because it was over and loved it so much)

dont ask, dont tell (m) by @jingabitch

hybrid!taehyung

the seven seas (m) by @readyplayerhobi

atlantis au

forbidden by @namjoonbby1

try my luck (m) by @drquinzelharleen

teacher!taehyung

jeon jungkook:

secrets of silk (m) by @nochugguk

camboy!jungkook

by its cover (m) by @gimmesumsuga

the devil’s change up (m) @jungblue

baseball player!jungkook

raising demons (m) by @jeonseok

demon!jungkook

énouement (m) by @littlemisskookie

mulan au

gold rush (m) by @nochugguk

track runner!jungkook (i literally was obsessed with this fic, i have read it sooo many times)

streamy (m) by @jungkookiebus

angel in darkness (m) by @icyhobi

mafia au, prostitution au

new romantics by @cupofteaguk

hogwarts au (if you like hogwarts aus,, this is a must read)

hunting a hybrid (m) by @btswrckd

hybrid!jungkook

under the moonlight (m) by @katobobato

werewolf!jungkook

the sea & the storm (m) by @jamaisjoons

sea spirit!y/n (this one is also really good, but i especially loved the ending. it deadass made me so happy)

shimmers by @boywivlove

hogwarts au

finding beauty in your darkest places (m) by @dreamingofkoo

mental clinic au

what happened in vegas (m) by @namjoonbby1

stripper!y/n

offside (m) by @daddychims

soccer player!jungkook (omg i only just realized that this is on tumblr too. ive always read it on ao3 cuz i didnt know it was on here. but im happy i can add it cuz its one of my fave fics ever and i always recommend it to my friends)

quarter quell by @chinkbihh

hunger games au, yandere!jungkook (omg someone else reminded me of this fic. and like thank u,,, cuz i literally forgot it existed. but i remember reading the first part and being in love with it so i read part 2 and now i love it even more 🥳 i highly recommend and im really existed for part 3. also everything on this account is a gem for yandere!bts fans)

jimin + taehyung:

baby, baby (m) by @hobiwonder

surrogacy au (i really love this one. especially jimin, he is so cute)

namjoon + seokjin:

zodiac (m) by @honeymoonjin

(i honestly dont even know how to discribe this one but its like soooo good.

hoseok + namjoon:

for the crown @seokoloqy

royality au (its an interactive which is so cool tbh)

ot7:

enjoy your stay (m) by @honeymoonjin

hotel!au (its been a while since i read this one but i did really enjoy it. i just really love hotel type aus for some reason)

armed to the fangs (m) by @jingabitch

vampire!bts, hunter!y/n (i actually really like how slowburn it is. im getting so tired of fics where y/n is like “i hate you guys,,, im not easy like other girls” and then jumps on their dick the next chapter lmao. but yes,,, this one is really good)

men on the 13th floor (m) by @khyunni

hotel au, ghost au (i love this one so much)

the iris hotel by @sugakookiecrumble

hotel au, horror au (again,,,, i really like hotel aus)

catalyst (m) by @untilspringdays

mafia au

oasis by @secret-kpoplibrary

hybrid!bts (yall this fic is so cute. i always reread when i want something fluffy)

all is fair in love & war by @smoljamswrites

mafia au

undecided by @nomimits7

detective au (i really love these type of aus!!)

thesis it by @xherxx

roommates au (this fic has a special place in my heart cuz i remember loving it so much that i stayed up the whole night to read it and skipped school the next day cuz i was too tired. good times)

moth to flame (m) by @bang-to-the-tan

vampire!bts (not to be controversial lol but im my opinion this is the best smut. its just sooo good lmfao. also vampire bts 😋 what else could u want)

ethereal orbit (m) by @miamorjoon

alien au (saving the best for last ofc. seriously i think ethereal orbit is my favorite fic ever. i just love it so much. also yall don’t understand how whipped i am for eo namjoon and jungkook. theyre the best. you have to read this one)

anyway thats all for now. i might update it later. i hope this helps u find new pics. btw sorry for the lack of yoongi and seokjin,,, 💔😾

[starxscream]

1, 7, 10 for OCs!

1. Oldest OC

Scratches chin. Hm. Well there's a difference between Oldest OC still in use and Oldest OC in General

Tho actually wait I forgot I brought back Ven who fulfills both of these so NVM LOL it's Ven. Yea.

I made him like. a decade ago LMAO he used to be cis and straight and now I trans'd his gender like HE DESERVED. Lmao he's where my love for GNC men stemmed from as a kid esp the bastard kind bc that's what he is <3 little smartass.

He's a furret originally and in this pic but I'll likely be giving him a redesign to use him in Mirakae as well! His pkmn vers is just in a cool RP group I'm in w/some pals GKHNGKH

He's very sentimental to me bc he's what got me into character creation and world-building even if I didn't do anything w/his original world bc I just didn't have the tools or experience to do it back then. The og fav <3

As a fun fact! My first name I picked for myself was based on his! Tho a more "feminine" version bc I was still convinced I wasn't trans- I wanted HIS name but I was like "but I'm a girl..." so... I called it an online name but let's be honest that was baby's first transgender egg moment lol

Kind of ironic the name I use the most NOW is one letter away from his, I think it's kinda a full circle moment :) It makes me happy haha esp now that I have the capabilities and knowledge so that I can portray Ven how I want him to be and how he was always meant to be, similar to my own gender presentation.

7. Do you ship your OCs w/someone else's?

LMAO YEA IF U COULDN'T GUESS BY THE AMOUNT OF SHIP ART THAT GETS DRAWN OF THEM- but yea I mostly ship with my boyfriend! 9/10 if you point out an OC they're shipped w/one of his

There's a few outliers like Ciro, my RP group characters, the MLP ocs I post, and Opal/Saffron BUT FOR THE MOST PART I usually ship with him! We have a lot of fun with it :]

10. Villain OCs?

Oh boy we got PLENTY 'a those. But it really depends on what you'd call a "villain" bc I tend to redeem most of my antagonists and "villains" bc I'm a sucker for Tropes. GKHNGKHNGH BUT AS FOR LIKE. PURE IRREDEEMABLE VILLAIN I DO HAVE SOME. Actor is there but I talked abt Actor already

SO INSTEAD WE HAVE...

Jam and Kazi! I have so many cat ocs. I know. You get used to it.

Jam is a back-alley doctor who presents herself has a helpful sort and willing to do shit usually for free/cheap as long as you agree to her terms. Tho like, 90% of the time she's testing smth experimental she created and most likely ur gonna walk away worse than when u came in. She doesn't rly have any remorse for this cuz she's obsessed with the studies of medicine- she wants to create the perfect medicine and is willing to do anything to reach that goal !

Plus she's kind of an ass and does things on a whim and literally broke up with her bf who treated her SO WELL bc she was bored of him. she was only with him for an extended period bc he was interesting and she was essentially studying him but once that was exhausted she just dipped. He deserves better </3

Aaaand then there's Kazi.

Kazi is. Well he sure is. GKHNGKHKGNHG

I won't go in depth into what he does but he's a serial killer who masks as a famous artist who travels around. I'm not gonna get into it but if you've played "The Evil Within" his M/O is eerily similar to Stefano LOL So you can Imagine how fucked up this guy is.

Very Morbid but a very good artist. In both respects. Tho one takes a "certain kind" to appreciate and sure isn't the majority. Do not condone murder here but making villains is fun GKNHGKHGH my whole thing with him is like, the person next to u could b a killer and you'd never know bc he presents himself in such a way that's very misleading! He's actually quite soft-spoken, kind, and generous but. Well.

I'm not gonna get into him cuz his mentality is very warped and could b triggering but yea. He's one of my favorites I'm sorry I'm s

(Art by Rob but design is sexily done by me ages ago)

[shinymooncolor]

Hi!

So - had two prompts that I’ve combined into this chat!

As always @lumosinlove is the mastermind of this wonderful fandom. 💖

I want to thank you all! Over 20 snippets and chats now. You guys are absolutely incredible and I can’t believe the feedback and love and good vibes I get from you. Thank you! I’m all done with prompts except for one which is the next chat - so I’ll be open for your ideas 😍

@frombeauxbatons and @canesinthecrease just because you inspire me ❤️

The boys are being naughty at a team event. Don’t worry. Consent was given on all accounts - they’re good boys! But they’re also a bunch of frat boys with muscles.

Remus plans a prank. He blames dumo and James. Nado organizes. Sergei wins. Timmy loses. Dumo is a prankster too. Olli is sneaky. Sirius is not in on the prank. Kuny is Kuny. Nat is amazing. Kris is an ally. Nado is also the team’s phoebe. (Friends reference)

Sweater weather chat #14

——

Saturday 5.22 pm

Nado created a group chat.

Nado named the group chat THE BIG LIONS HEIST 2020.

Nado added James, Remus, Dumo

Nado: hey Re. Remember the plan? We need to get all the boys to take the selfie before he notices

Remus: Nado. We’ve gone over this multiple times. I’ll get the phone from Sirius. I still think this is a disaster but you and James are very convincing

James: it’s a fucking awesome plan. He won’t notice I bet

Nado: also extra points if you get him all worked up😂

James: I don’t wanna spend an entire evening looking at Sirius trying to hide a hard-on

Nado: why not? It’s funny 😂

Dumo: why did remus get the easiest job?

Remus: I’m the only one who gets to put my hands in Sirius’ pocket.

Nado: awwww jealous?? You know we see him naked like several times a day?

Dumo: you’re not supposed to look.

Nado: I’m curious about the human body!

James: well we’ve all had sneak peaks. Still scared of Sergei

Dumo: he should hAve a tramp stamp saying heavy machinery

Nado: lets get him drunk!!!! Brady can ink him!!!!

Remus: you are not inking anyone without their consent. Also; have you met his wife? She’d skin you all alive.

Dumo: she would. I’ve seen her make a reporter cry.

James: why?

Dumo: the reporter insinuated things about Kuny. Not sure what he said but based on the cursing and sunny having to physically restrain her I think it was bad

Nado: yikes anyways we got everyone on board. I’ll kick cap out the group chat once you’ve swiped the phone. Now go get your tuxes on. We’ve got rich old ladies to woo.

Dumo: you’re not supposed to take them home.

Nado: I never saw that rule. Older ladies knows some shit. Damn. Cougars are wild!

Remus: I’m not treating sex injuries

Nado: you treated Kuny’s groin last month?

Remus: that was from the ice.

Nado: sure it was 😜

Dumo: I’m ending this. Go change and BEHAVE tonight

——

Saturday 8.54 pm

Nadotheman removed siriusly from the group chat

Nadotheman added Remus to the group chat

Nadotheman changed Remus to Loops

Blizzard: did you do it? You have the phone?

Loops: yes. I did my part. Your guys are up

Nadotheman: okay here are the rules for the 2020 lions heist (this year we’re doing truth and dare the lions way - so mostly dare)

1. We have 3 hours and cap’s phone. Each team member has to get a selfie with cap in the frame. The best (dirtiest) photo wins 😜

2. CAP CANT KNOW

3. Leo and Walker are starting and they get to chose the next one. You’ve all got one photo each

4. To be considered we need the photo sent to this chat before midnight.

5. Remus is the ref on this little game.

6. If you lose. You’ve gotta tell us 3 secrets. He he we get to pick when.

DamnFoxy: how is this a prank on cap?

Prongstar: he’s always being swarmed and it’s fun. He’s our canvas and we need to fill in the blanks. It’s like hide and seek meeting truth and dare meeting Pictionary meeting Snapchat

CarbO’Hara: so we can start? Cause Kuny’s been snogging that girl for 4 minutes now? Does he not need to breathe?

Nadotheman: that’s two points for Leo!

CarbO’Hara: @newt-leo? WhY? I saw him first?

Newt-Leo: he’s snogging someone at the shrimp buffet. That’s open season. Also he’s still not come up for air? And it was my turn to start @krisvolley and @prongstar you’re it

KrisVolley: @blizzard & @lewilliam you’re up

LeWilliam: blizzard is cheating!!! He got his girlfriend’s friend to kiss him!!!! And Nat was touching cap’s butt

Blizzard: read the rules man. I’m not cheating

LeWilliam: but it’s unfair?

Blizzard: not my fault. I’m winning.

Loops: @lewilliam I’m pretty sure Nat and blizzard saved cap from a handsy old lady.

Blizzard: @sergei_81 & @kaneyoudigit you’re up

Kaneyoudigit: Hahahaha hahahha pretty sure sergei and me are gonna win.

Dumodad: sergeu just manhandled a very confused looking Sirius all the way back to the toilets?

Nadotheman: wait. Where’s Kuny?

KrisVolley: yeah Sergei definitely won.

Kaneyoudigit: I’ve got a pic too!!!

Logantremblayzzz: well you’ve got only half a cap. Sergei got himself and cap giving thumbs up.

Sunnysideup: you forgot you were supposed to be in the photo @kaneyoudigit 😂

Prongstar: so it’s not even 10 and Kuny’s already half naked in the bathroom. It’s like you guys aren’t even tryin. Didn’t even get a selfie with cap in it yet. Also he wasn’t supposed to know.

Sergei_81: he not know game he think I just want pic for Kuny. Keep try but I’m win.

Krisvolley: well that was smart. Back to the game boys. @dumodad & @logantremblayzzz you’re up

Sergei_81: why you sound surprised? Brat. I’m smart.

——

Nadotheman: everyone got their pics in?

Walkietalkie: yeah. Finno was last with Olli. They’ve just sent it - nice job Olli 😜 timmy didn’t send one tho

Loops: I don’t think I want to know. Olli. How the hell did you get cap to do that?

Ollibear: I just asked him to get some fresh air with me. How could I know timmy was getting acquainted with a girl behind the curtain? 😇

DumoDAD: acquainted? Is that what it’s called now?

RussianGod: at least I go to toilet for hookup

KrisVolley: you’re all terrible.

Sunnysideup: you sent a selfie with you and cap in front of the girls kissing in the corner....

KrisVolley: I’m a proud ally!

Talkiewalkie: to be fair you both look incredible uncomfortable

KrisVolley: it’s a stupid game

Timmyforrealz: HEY?! You losers hear about privacy?

Ollibear: if you want privacy don’t hook up with someone behind a curtain at a fancy nightclub.... also you didn’t send a pic. You’ve lost.

Timmyforrealz: I didn’t lose hah. Maybe I lost your dumb game

Prongstar: don’t blame the game for her dumping you. Also you lost some buttons on your shirt, your tie is a disaster and your dignity is hanging on by a thread

Timmyforrealz: she didn’t dump me. I decided not to pursue it further!

Russiangod: whatever u say. Come on who win?

Loops added siriusly to the group chat

Siriusly: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Why am I in all of these selfies?

Loops: you’re cute when you’re annoyed. I had nothing to do with this😇

Prongstar: captain my captain. It was all loops’ idea. We’ve got a selfie collection for you.

Siriusly: you idiots have spent an entire evening running Around trying to take selfies with me and not tell me?

DumoDAD: it was fun. You didn’t catch on when Sergei asked you to pose in front of Kuny clearly going at it?

Siriusly: I thought it was a prank on Kuny? Like steal his clothes and all/ wait didn’t you steal his clothes?

Nadotheman: we should’ve. Dammit

Sergei_81: loops who win????

Loops: timmy lost.

Siriusly: wait it that why Nat was patting my butt? She said I’d been sitting in something? @blizzard!!!!

Blizzard: 😜

Siriusly: should I be offended? She did ask if it was okay. Wait. Why did I have to be in the photos? You’re not doing another collage?

Prongstar: of course! Last year was cap sleeping in different places.

Siriusly: you’re all idiots. How did you even get my phone??

Loops: ...

Siriusly: oh.

Talkiewalkie: awwwwww... 😜

Timmyforrealz: anyone seen my wallet?

Ollibear: I give up. 🙏🏻

[damonsexywifey]

helo today i am going to be talking about daddy papi sexy icon Damon Salvatore. I know im fucking obsessed but this man makes my ovaries explode so i need some way to let it all out so here i go

first things first his mf looks

his eyes omfg his eyes he could stare at me and i would melt his bright blue eyes i already am quite a fan of pretty eyes but his eyes ive been obsessed for a very long time like wtf his eyes are so seductive and for what why do you do this to me huh damon why oh why HIS eyes omg when he looks at elena is with such care and love, id PAY for him to look at me like that HE COULD STOMP ON ME AND ID SAY SORRY AND THANK YOU ok now his little smirk oml when he did something bad he'd do his little smirk and i know it'd be very sociopathic of me to actually enjoy that but why the fuck did i get turned on by that why is he such a sex icon big dick energy is radiating I COULD LITERALLY BE WATCHING A SCENE OF HIM AND ELENA FLIRTING CASUALLY AND I'D BE SWEATING THAT WOULD FILL A WHOLE OCEAN I'D NEED TO PAUSE AND TAKE A BREATHER BECAUSE THAT MAN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.

OMG THESE SCENES WERE SO EXCITING FOR ME, ID PAUSE AND JUST ADMIRE THE ELEGANT BODY OF THIS SUCH MAN AND THERE WERE SO MANY BATHROOM SHOTS OF THIS MAN HAVING A SHOWER LIKE I DONT BLAME THE DIRECTOR REPEATING THIS SHOT

WHY YOU SAY?? I MEAN LOOK AT HIM ITS NOT FAIR CAN I BE ELENA

SCREAMS SCREAMS UMM DONT BE SHY UNBUTTON MORE

OK NOW IVE DONE A LOOKS ASSESSMENT. IT IS OFF TO DO A PERSONALITY ANALYSIS BECAUSE HE COULDVE BEEN REALLY HOT AND HAD A DEAD PERSONALITY like matt (sorry matt ps i still love you) but no damon has not let me down with his personality so lemme talk about that

the fucking humour:

OK THIS IS JUST mf fragments to his smart ass humour but omg this guy is carrying the show with its humour, i find humour extremely attractive so him just being a little devilish sociopathic smart ass bastard boy is all i ask for and it was received, stefan is great lemme tell u that but one of the reasons its damon>stefan for me its maybe because i prefer playful characters who can quit the intensity and actually have fun so yea personal preferences come into this

Emotional:

my boy is very emotional, hes a vampire yada yada but he hasnt flicked the switch off of his humanity hes still a ball of fluff who tries to cover it up with spikes so he seems tough but some sad scenes you can see right through him like some above. The first one is him letting things pile up over and over again and its killing him in the inside hes such a cinnamon roll and all he needs is a hug and someone to tell him hes gonna be alright...can i plz volunteer to do that ✋

the second one was a scene that made go waaaaaaa and tear up because that was the scene when he was opening up about how he wants and loves elena but shes not hers, shes stefans around then. The fact hes showed as some type of dickhead but he could be rlly douchy and literally just steal her away from stefan but he doesnt because shes "brothers girl" aaa hes caring and it hurts how much he does and his sad scenes hurt, hes not bad hes just very broken inside.

Unapologetically Honest

one of the reasons i love about him is that hes just so mf honest which is ironic because around s2 its just elena calling him a liar anyways hes honest with a lack of apology which i feel like would be extremely necessary when theres a flock of bad guys always at your doorstep, sugar covered words aren't needed tbh thats where his honesty comes in

hes aware of himself and knows that he can be dickhead some way or another so its funny when hes aware kinda gives definition to his character being a self proclaimed dickhead

i stan alarics and damons friendship theres so mf honest with eachother, alaric could be getting emotional about his relationships and this man could just go "but they're dead.. *sips tea* " hes so unbothered theres something attractive about it

Romantic:

umm so i kinda forgot the post only allows 10 pics so you lot are lucky enough that u get a video

anyways im extremely attracted to intense romance rather than cutesy lovey dovey, this guy ticks the box for intense hes so mf sexy with like one touch can u explain this science to me BECAUSE THIS GUY SCREAMS SEX WTF AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ELENA CONTROLS HER SEXUAL DESIRES BECAUSE BITCH U SURE DO KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING THIS BASTARD WOULD TELL ME TO DO ANYWAYS THERE WAS THIS SCENE WHERE ELENA WAS WORKING OUT AND THIS GUY WAS TOUCHING HER RIBCAGE OR SOMETHING AND THE HEAVY BREATHING I'D PROBABLY FAINT IN HIS ARMS BUT THIS WOMAN HELD IT TOGETHER CAN HE PLZ TAKE ME ADOPT ME ILL LIVE IN UR HOME I'LL LIVE IN THE TINIEST PLACE IN UR HOUSE I DONT MIND ME I JUST NEED TO BE GRACED BY UR LOOKS the intensity is legit like fire to the skin, i blush and scream for elena im a literal pterodactyl screeching when he comes on screen with him naked and one towel covering his big dick i would write the director a mf big ass letter to persuade him to let damon walk in with no towel pls i beg cmon u can do it i know u want too

anyways overall damon salvatore is my husband papi daddy and i do admit i simp for him and hes hit me like a wrecking ball im on s3 for vampire diaries ill keep u lot updated if anything happens in my shift of simp but for now im kind of addicted to this bootylicious babe actually now i think about it what if i actually ever meet him or something id probably weep and faint yes that'd happen ill probably just stare and i dont blame him if he kicks me out for being a creep anyways uh this was my essay hope u lot enjoy because i sure as heck enjoyed screaming my burning passionate love for Damon Salvatore if someone was selling a damon salvatore in store id be the first one to purchase and i feel like i speak for the nation of damon simps ily babes because i totally understand this lust you have for him

anywho bye bye xoxoxo

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

watta day into night - so many moons - yes i know there is only 1 for earth - showing her personas and interactions  -  another adult in the room for a change - oh t ! look at the moon !!  she can pass as fully functioning adult - vitas mom  - has an amazing life and career - fully accepts without judgement her daughter and the people who love her and join a slightly bent reality - anybody -  who loves t - after knowing fully his uh - foibles shall we sez - so theres vita - bf - t - sonya  in a kava bar  - t shoulder is kinda - uh - painfully fucked up - nbd - remember the road rash fall/ injury - 10 daze ago a lifetime - well cuz we hadda record and get thru - put all right arm pain inna box and buried it deep  and stayed pretty baked to keep there - well - hadda check progress - reality - wound healing nice - little pain a little itch - the rest of my arm - fuck - its just a re injure of rotator cuff tear im sure - soft tissue so - a few years older aint helpin but i know the exercises - if i need a little extra phys therapy i will no question go this week - but anyway - so i didnt real eyes how bad until i moved wrong in kava bar in college town - the FUUUUUUUCK i exclaimed cuz - tired - just ate and forgot to fully medicate before or after - having so much fun i forget - or just dont realize im not high anymore - pierced the 2 story bar - concern then wtf we gonna do - we laff about it and the need for  - “t  do u think u should go outside and get baked ? “ sonya sweetly suggests  - i told u she know me - 1st i do a simple exercise to relax shoulder a bit and then - i think vita started to mansplain something that had to do w scallops 

so 24 later - oh t - look at the moon - it was a good weekend - this is that moon and soon come we leave - sending 2 and 3 way msgs of love - did i post the pic in kava bar ? 

so in interim we played a gig - i wuz wrong - not paid - pass hat - reasonable amount of $ and that not even close to y we do it - lol - to not lose money on the weekend they have to pay us like a rawk star anyway  - we wuz good - we wuz ok - we approach great a few and we magic weave and trance all weekend - no reservation - no problem we fit u inna table the bartender b ur server - so yah we music magic  - vita pulls out things we havent played in so long and havent practiced - bold choice - it works cuz she a bad ass bitch and things she choose r very guitar centric - i just realize that now - we get a better sound than used to a bit of new equipment - we have fun - we connect back on the performance level in an instant - t flow in spurts and no awful notes or phrases and knowing some of the chords omg watta concept and everything sound like we play together always - almost casual - the owner seems to love us 

home now - shoulder stiff af not the good kind - pain a bit - slept a lot more than in a long time - plan on doing fuck all - not even much tumblr 

i ketchup later maybe w fries 

love 

always 

omg there is a kitty - such a good one - she wuz so glad to see me and me her and we praise pet play feed and she sleep at my feet   - i wuz only gone like 36 hours and the unpoet was w her 

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (12) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: hey friends! here’s chapter 12 of Not Nineteen Forever, i’m sorry it’s so late but i want to thank everyone who waited patiently and was so polite and encouraging while waiting. it really made me smile! remember i always love and am so grateful for sweet comments either on AQ, through reblog, or on my blog, so keep them coming bc they motivate me no end!! hope u all enjoy this chapter (p.s. finally accepted the ninex in this fic is not in any way background any more xo) xxxxxxx

trigger warning: alcohol n naughty texts xo

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Monet and Nina continued to be adorable, Yvie and Scarlet continued to be cute, but Brooke wasn’t sure if she wanted the same for her and Vanessa.

this chapter: there’s library woes, a flat party, a lilac-haired, tattooed bombshell, and Yvie confides in Scarlet.

***

Scarlet let a long puff of air out of her cheeks and blinked at her laptop, bored. She’d been so eager for Uni to start back again, so excited to get back to the city and see her friends that she slightly forgot about the whole academic aspect of everything. Lectures had started that week and in between trying to force four different modules’ worth of information into her head she had caught up with Vanjie, chatting before, after and in between lectures when they could. It was interesting, Scarlet thought. Before Christmas she could never get her to shut up about Brooke and how things were going with her but ever since the holidays it seemed as if Brooke was a subject to be avoided. Scarlet knew something must have changed but she didn’t want to push Vanjie for information if she wasn’t ready to share it. They still seemed to be together, anyway, even if things seemed a little strained.

At least she could say that wasn’t the case for her and Yvie. After many long evening Skype sessions during the holidays, the pair of them had decided that they couldn’t bear to be apart a moment longer and so Scarlet had taken the six hour train to go and stay with her girlfriend at her family home for a few days. She had been a bag of nerves at the thought of meeting Yvie’s family, but her Mum had been lovely (and seemingly just relieved that her daughter had settled down), her Dad had been welcoming, if a little quiet (“He’s under strict instructions not to speak because every time he opens his mouth he embarrasses me”), and the brothers and sisters that were still at home and not out somewhere or back to uni themselves were kind and friendly. In the three days they spent together, Scarlet and Yvie went for cold, crisp walks along the beach, curled up on Yvie’s old battered leather sofa the family had had since she was small and watched Disney films, gone ice skating, and looked out over Yvie’s city on a rickety ferris wheel that had looked as if it would take one good sneeze to knock it down.

But all that movie-screen romance was behind her now, as the most romantic Scarlet had been with Yvie in the week since they’d been back at uni was a Tesco Finest £10 meal deal cooked in Yvie’s flat and then watched in front of the TV as a perfect accompaniment to Coronation Street. They were both busy and waiting for their academic life to slow down a little again. The same could be said for their whole friendship group, really. The whole gang hadn’t done anything all together since their Christmas dinner, and Scarlet was itching for a night out where she could get absolutely off her face and forget that she was working towards the degree that would define the rest of her life. Sighing again and feeling the words on her laptop merge into a big blur, Scarlet looked up at the big clock on the wall. Five o'clock. She turned to Akeria who was sat at the desk beside her. She and Silky had come to join her mid-study, the latter having been dragged into the library by her flatmate because she still hadn’t handed in an essay that had been due since before Christmas and Akeria was quite frankly concerned.

“Akeria,” Scarlet whispered, the other girl quickly finishing a sentence she was working on, turning away from her laptop towards Scarlet and pushing her reading glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I want a night out. This is shit.”

“This is what we signed up for, baby,” Akeria gave a small laugh and shrugged, turning back to her laptop. Akeria’s dissertation wasn’t due until May but she had already started writing it, which struck the fear of God into the majority of their friendship group and made them all feel like slackers. “This is uni. This is our fuckin’ degree, girl.”

“You’re really making me feel better,” Scarlet rolled her eyes, Akeria giving another laugh under her breath.

“Hey,” Silky said from her position at the desk across from them, her voice entirely at speaking-pitch and causing a few heads to turn their way. “What’re you hoes talkin’ about? I want in.”

“We’re bitching about you,” Akeria deadpanned, tapping away at her keyboard.

“Fuck off, Kiki.”

“I want a night out,” Scarlet hissed over to her as quietly as she could. “But Little Miss Law Degree wants to stay in the library from dusk til dawn every evening until she graduates.”

Scarlet’s face lit up as Silky bellowed a laugh so loud it caused the girl beside her to put a set of earphones in. Looking at Akeria and hoping she hadn’t been offended, she was relieved to see the other girl giving her a wry smile.

“This bitch can be so savage when she wants to be, Jesus. Ouch. No, I’m just sayin’! This was what we chose to do, so quit complaining,” Akeria rolled her eyes, leaned back in her chair and stretched. “That being said…I do think I’ve earned a night out.”

“Well me fuckin’ too, bitch!” Silky exclaimed incredulously, Scarlet laughing in spite of herself.

“How much have you written, Silk?” she asked, the girl opposite looking down at her laptop, clicking a few times, then looking back up to the girls in front of her.

“You know what…it don’t matter how many words I’ve done, it’s the level of mental energy I have needed to use in order to-”

“Silky, how many words,” Akeria demanded, fixing her with a stare that looked as if it could slice her in half.

“Ninety-four.”

“Jesus Christ on a crystal meth binge,” Akeria sighed, Scarlet letting out a splutter beside her. Silky looked at them both pleadingly.

“Hey, now don’t make me feel bad! We only been in here-”

“An hour and a quarter,” Akeria stared at her.

Silky threw her hands up. “Well I been doing readings an’ shit! Do you know how hard it is to get any articles that have the exact quote ‘Boris Johnston is a piece of dog shit’? Fuckin’ hard!”

“Why the hell are you looking for that?” Akeria blurted out, unable to keep herself from laughing. Scarlet was laughing so hard she thought she would pass out.

“Because, bitch! I want to use that exact wording in my essay but I need some academic shit to back me up.”

“Fuck me.”

“To be fair, that is the worst,” Scarlet shrugged, not wanting Silky to feel too demoralised. “Searching for three hours to find one reference that can back up one of your points. Like, why can’t you just make the point because you want to? You know? Why is your opinion only valid if it’s been previously thought up by a white man in a suit?"

"Very profound,” Silky nodded emphatically. “Anyway, this bitch needs to get her drink on. I’m going to ask the girls."

As she watched Silky pick up her phone, Scarlet was reminded to check her own. She’d deliberately sat on it and put it on flight mode in an attempt to force herself to do work. Now, she felt as if she could excuse a small break. Turning off flight mode, she watched as a small flood of notifications came through. There had been fifteen new group chat messages, Nina had tagged them all in a meme, and she had two messages from Yvie. She checked the latter first, wondering if she would ever get tired of the feeling of her heart soaring like a balloon every time she saw, heard or spoke Yvie’s name.

Y: if i told u i was considering buying a set of faux-leather underwear would that be weird or a turn-on

Y: also that lasagne is even better on the second day u need to have some of it when ur round

S: Sorry this took me so long!!!!!! I turned my phone on flight mode in an attempt to get some work done

S: No such luck

S: Leather look underwear is a yes from me but i’m inclined to ask for pics first xoxoxoxoxo

S: Also yes i want lasagne

S: That’s not a euphemism btw i actually really do want some lasagne

Y: 😈

As Scarlet gave a soft laugh to herself, she checked what had been going on on the group chat since she’d been studying. She wondered what exciting plans could have been made, or what drama could have happened, or if anyone had any exciting or interesting news.

Okay Then: oh my god

Kim Kardashian-West: ??????

Okay Then: has anyone seen the state of Simon Cowell’s face

Scarlet gave a colossal roll of her eyes. She should have known that, at times, the groupchat could become one massive shitpost.

Kim Kardashian-West: No??? What’s he done to it?? Has he been in a crash?

Okay Then: he might as fucking well have been

What followed was a picture of what seemed to be a man whose face had been partially melted with a blowtorch, until Scarlet looked closer and realised that it was indeed the TV talent show judge.

mose: Jesus Fucking Christ what’s he done to himself

Scarlet’s bitch: that’s frightening

Okay Then: RIGHT???

Scarlet’s bitch: that’s what i see in the corner of my room when i have sleep paralysis

Kim Kardashian-West: That is TRULY the stuff of nightmares!!!!

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Fucking hell Plastique don’t fucking frighten us like that!!!

mose: He must surely see that he looks like shit? Like how could you not?

Okay Then: how can he see anything when his eyebrows are now entirely obscuring his eyes

Kim Kardashian-West: I am actually quite frightened guys

At this point, Scarlet caught up to the current conversation.

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: AS TERRIFYING AS SIMON COWELL’S FACE IS

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: CAN WE TALK BUSINESS FOR A SECOND?

Kim Kardashian-West: Of course!

mose: I’m all business

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Sure you are baby xxxxxxx

Scarlet’s Bitch: that is fucking vile keep that shit off the groupchat u big gays

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YA FAV BITCHES ARE IN THE LIBRARY AND WE ARE GAGGING FOR A NIGHT OUT

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: WE AIN’T HAD ONE IN AGES

Okay Then: yaaaaaaaaaas bitches let’s do it

Okay Then: thursday night fever

Kim Kardashian-West: Well Monet invited me to this flat party she’s hosting tonight

Kim Kardashian-West: I could ask her if you guys could come too?

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: Omg yes I’m down!

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YES BITCH FLAT PARTY!!!!

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: AND IF SHE SAYS NO JUST SAY SHE AIN’T GETTIN ANY PUSS FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE

Kim Kardashian-West: SILKY!!!!!!!! THAT IS DISGUSTING!!!

Yvie’s Bitch: We were all thinking it xoxo

Brooke’s Ford Transit Vanjie: AHAHAHAHAHA SILK

Okay Then: YES Scarlet

Kim Kardashian-West: You’re all horrible. And uninvited.

mose: Ninaaaaaa

Okay Then: Nina pls

Scarlet’s Bitch: fuck i’m not even sure i can do tonight ladies

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YVIE DONT YOU DARE

Scarlet’s Bitch: i’ve got a 9am tomorrow and i want to get that first u know

mose: Yvieeee the last time we were all together was literally over a month ago

Scarlet pouted to herself, disappointed at the thought of Yvie being the only one not out. Suddenly, an idea began to form in her head. Biting back a smile, she took to her chat with Yvie.

S: Yvieeeee

Y: Scarleeeeet

S: Please come to the flat party :(((((((

S: I’ll do anything you want

Y: anything i want?

S: Yesssss

Y: that sounds like a challenge princess

Scarlet crossed her legs and felt herself squeezing her thighs together. Looking around at the rows of silent people, she turned her phone brightness down to make extra sure nobody could see her messages, just in case the conversation turned the way Scarlet thought it was about to.

S: Well it depends on what you want me to do x

Y: wellllll

Y: i’ve been wondering if u can take a strap like a good girl

Scarlet felt briefly as if she’d been shocked by a defibrillator. Yvie always seemed to go from 0 to 100 real fucking quick, and Scarlet couldn’t help but love it.

S: You know I could baby

Y: i know you could, you’re such a good girl

Y: so how about if i come to this party i get to watch u bounce on my dick until u cum all over it

Scarlet could feel her face growing red. She and Yvie had messaged like this before, when they had been at home and miles away from each other and alone and very much not-in-a-public-place, but this was so fucking different.

S: Christ Yves I’m in the library!!!!

Y: shut up u started all this!!

S: Yeah I kinda did

Y: deliberately getting me to tell u what i want to do to u later when ur sitting in public in a fucking silent building

Y: jesus fucking christ Scarlet that’s so hot

Scarlet felt an urgent pulse of heat between her legs and she squirmed in her seat.

S: Where are you just now?

Y: i’m in bed

Y: touching myself at the thought of u sitting absolutely soaking wet and being able to do fuck all about it

S: So you’re coming to the party baby?

Y: how about

Y: if u can get to the flat before i cum i’ll fuck u into the mattress and i’ll come to this party or whatever

Scarlet nearly jammed her fingers in her laptop in her haste to get it shut, wrenched her charger out of its socket so hard it almost broke, and muttered a near-breathless goodbye to a confused Akeria and Silky all in the space of about twenty seconds as she struggled into her coat and sped out into the stairwell.

Five hours later Scarlet had managed to fit a lot in. She’d hurried round to Yvie’s to find her in bed in the black lace underwear she knew drove Scarlet crazy, and they’d fucked twice (fast, rough and passionate then sweet, tender and gentle) before Scarlet had reluctantly dragged herself out of Yvie’s bed to head back to her own flat and get ready for the party. Nobody seemed to know what the dress code was, least of all Nina who had sent about nine different outfit options to the group chat for opinions, so Scarlet settled on a tight black bandage dress that stopped at her calves, with trainers to dress it down a bit. She’d hurriedly munched down a bowl of pasta a la whatever-was-left-in-the-fridge, then set off across town to meet the girls at the edge of the park, where they had decided they would all meet then walk together to Monet’s flat.

Scarlet heard her friends before she saw them, Vanjie’s distinctive laugh ricocheting off trees and mixing with Yvie’s Bond-villan one letting Scarlet know she was heading in the right direction. Finally reaching the group, Scarlet gave them all a hug in turn and took in each of their outfits. It was still icy and cold, so most of them had opted for trainers over heels- save for Plastique, who always wore them for any night out and Vanjie, who was wearing chunky heeled boots. Much of their clothes clashed with the weather, though. Plastique and Akeria were in tight dresses, Brooke and Silky were in short skirts and tops. Vanjie had chosen some loose-fitting ripped denim jeans and a tiny bodysuit which left little to the imagination. Nina had gone for a light blue t-shirt dress and a chunky pair of trainers, her nerves palpable even in the group dynamic. Scarlet thought Yvie looked the best though in her burnt orange velvet skirt and tight black long-sleeved bodysuit, her unruly hair tamed and brushed into two huge bunches.

"You look nice, Nina!” Scarlet complimented her in an attempt to calm her down.

“Aww, Scarlet! Do I actually?” Nina smiled brightly, then cringed at herself. “Fuck! Why can’t I just take a fucking compliment like a goddamn normal person? I do this with Monet all the time!”

“Because you got a big-ass crush,” Silky shrugged. “It’s almost as big as Akeria’s ass. Not quite, though.”

“Shut up,” Akeria rolled her eyes and shoved her friend.

“Does it even count as a crush if you’re seeing the person in question?” Scarlet wondered out loud. Plastique shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

“Don’t know. Ask Brooke or Vanjie.”

The group exploded into laughter, something about it not quite meeting Brooke or Vanessa’s eyes. They were both standing close together, hands entwined, but Scarlet didn’t know. There seemed as if there was something off. Forced, even.

“Okay, let’s go, motherfuckers. I’m freezing my vagina off,” Vanjie said decisively, Nina moving first and making to lead the way.

“Right, a few things before we arrive,” Nina began speaking at a mile a minute before Scarlet could even compliment Yvie on her outfit. “Monet has somehow got it into her head that you guys are cool enough to be invited to this party. She doesn’t know the truth yet, so just try to act like a group of normal fucking human beings?”

“The truth? What the hell is that meant to mean?!” Brooke let out a laugh.

“That you’re all fucking weirdos! And she, for some reason, still likes me, so I am not having you all put that in jeopardy, capiche?” Nina snapped back, only half-joking.

“Jeez, thanks,” Akeria rolled her eyes, Nina instantly protesting.

“I’m joking! I’m joking. But not really. Like Silk, please try not to overdo it tonight?”

Silky raised her eyebrows and sucked her cheeks in. “I’m making no promises, girl.”

“Akeria, please don’t accidentally make out with anyone’s boyfriends?”

“Oh my God Nina! That happened ONCE!” Akeria cried out incredulously.

“And Vanjie, don’t-”

“Nina. We’re not going to embarrass you. Chill the fuck out,” Yvie rolled her eyes and squeezed the shoulder of the girl in front of her.

The girls all finally reached Monet’s old, red-brick building and her front door, and Nina pressed the buzzer nervously. There came a crackly screech of mayhem through the intercom which contained unintelligible speech, and then the girls were all quickly buzzed in. Scarlet looked to Yvie questioningly as she wondered if she’d heard any words, but she also appeared to be as clueless as she was. It didn’t seem to faze any of the other girls though, as Vanjie was already bounding up the stairs with Akeria as fast as her chunky heels could carry her. They didn’t have to walk far, as Monet’s flat was on the first floor. Vanjie moved to open the door first when it was suddenly wrenched open from the other side to reveal a tiny, skinny blonde girl with her hair curled and loose on her shoulders. Her pink dress was as tiny as she was, but regardless of her size she looked ready to fight.

“Who the fuck are you?” she addressed Akeria, barely acknowledging the others. “You here to sell us girl scout cookies, or an Avon catalogue, check our meter readings maybe?"

Just as Akeria looked as if she would instigate a full-scale fight, Nina poked her head out from behind Brooke’s tall frame. "Cracker, don’t be a dick!”

The girl’s face immediately relaxed into a wide, shameless smile. “Nina! Oh my God, you bitch, I never saw you! Come in, God!”

Akeria still bristling and Vanjie not too dissimilar, the girls all trooped into the flat which immediately struck Scarlet as something out of an American teen Netflix special. The hall was dark with the occasional string of fairy lights, and was packed full of people. Scarlet instinctively reached for Yvie’s hand in the crowd and got a squeeze back without even having to look at her. Nina and the girl, Cracker apparently, led them through to a huge bedroom which had obviously once been a living room but had been repurposed by a money-hungry landlord. The room was quieter but still had its fair share of people dotted about in amongst the Morrocan market wall-coverings, tiny elephant incense stick holders, and swathes of printed photos and posters that covered the walls like tiles. A huge bed sat to one side where Monet sat sprawled out with her shoes kicked off, chatting to a black girl with a huge afro that otherwise looked so identical to her Scarlet assumed they must be sisters. Cracker flung herself down on top of the mattress and joined them, gesturing vaguely to the girls.

“Neens!!” Monet suddenly squealed as she looked up, throwing her arms out as Nina launched herself half on the bed and half on top of her. Monet continued, muffled, as the rest of the girls awkwardly lingered. “I’m so happy you came, oh my God, this is so amazing!”

“I brought everyone too. Is that still okay? They can leave if not,” Nina instantly reeled off, Brooke bellowing out a laugh. Monet’s face lit up.

“Oh my God of course not! Brooke! Scarlet! Yvie!! Oh my God, come and hug me,” Monet beamed, her intoxication showing ever so slightly as Brooke graciously leaned down and hugged the other girl them got instantly pulled onto the bed. Monet gestured for everyone to come closer. “Guys! It’s so good to see you all, thanks so much for coming! There’s, like. Endless booze in the kitchen. Feel free to just drink us out of house and home.”

Silky’s face lit up and she immediately grabbed Akeria and Plastique, making to drag them through. “Vanj, you comin’?”

“Get me something? I'mma stay here with my girl,” Vanessa shouted back, giving a smile back to Brooke but finding the other girl looking down at her phone instead. Scarlet frowned involuntarily and then was suddenly distracted by a squeeze of her hand from Yvie (who still hadn’t let go).

“I’m going to go make sure Silky doesn’t give herself alcohol poisoning. You want me to bring you back a drink?” she offered, Scarlet unable to help the smile that spread across her face.

“You’re a sweetheart. Surprise me.”

“A pint glass of tequila it is,” Yvie deadpanned as she walked away, too quick for Scarlet’s hand that swatted at her in response. Scarlet tuned into the conversation that the girls were all having on the bed. It was big, but it was still a bed in a student flat, and so Brooke had her elbows resting on the mattress and her lower body on the floor and Scarlet had had to squeeze up to make room for Vanjie to sit beside her.

“She was guarding the place like fort fuckin’ knox,” Vanessa was saying, a playful side eye being cast to the blonde girl, who let out a laugh.

“You’re an animal,” Monet’s potential sister rolled her eyes. “A living guard dog. We should put a collar on you. One of those ones with spikes.”

“Nah. That’s only reserved for people who want to fuck me. Do you want to fuck me, Bob?” the girl asked easily, before taking a swig of the cider bottle she was holding. Monet hooted a laugh and the other girl didn’t even break her expression.

“I wouldn’t eat your pussy if it was made of chocolate fuckin’ fudge cake. Get the fuck out,” she retorted, Nina looking up at them all from her position on Monet’s tummy.

“Is that not that Lana Del Ray lyric? My pussy tastes like chocolate fudge cake…”

Scarlet let out a laugh that was more like a scream, the others on the bed doing much the same thing. Monet wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath.

“Oh my God, okay. For those of you that haven’t met before- this is Cracker and Bob. Two out of the three girls I have the blessing or curse of living with, I haven’t figured out yet,” she gestured to the two girls in turn and then turned to Scarlet. “And this is Scarlet, Vanjie and Brooke Lynn. They’re Nina’s friends, so they’re obviously amazing.”

“Nina could throw up on your bed and you’d say it was amazing,” Cracker looked pointedly at Monet. Monet shrugged and threw her arms around Nina.

“And what?"

"Nice to meet you guys. Are you two sisters?” Scarlet asked, curiosity getting the better of her as she pointed between Bob and Monet. Monet laughed and Bob rolled her eyes.

“Are you saying that all black people look the same?” Bob asked her with a piercing stare, Scarlet’s entire stomach dropping at the thought of having offended her.

“Oh my God, no! No no no, I just thought-”

“She’s kidding, Scarlet. Being a dick, as usual,” Monet cut off Scarlet’s frantic protests and immediately calming her down. “No, we’re not related. We just look spookily alike.”

“You fuckin’ wish you looked even a tenth as good as me. Hey, where the fuck is Monique?” Bob asked suddenly, both Cracker and Monet shrugging.

“Flatmate number four,” Monet quickly cut in to explain.

“Away making some chaotic cocktail, probably,” Cracker shrugged. Bob gave another roll of her eyes, then turned and smiled at Brooke, Scarlet and Vanessa.

“Nice to meet you anyway. Are you all flatmates too?” Bob asked politely, ignoring the position of the slit on her long skirt as she crossed her legs.

“Not us three exactly. Brooke lives with Nina and Yvie, that’s my girlfriend,” Scarlet explained, her stomach full of fizzy fireworks at being able to say that for real. “Vanj lives with Silky and Akeria over on Antigua Road.”

“They’re the best hoes in the world. They’re through in the other room getting drunk, but you’d love them,” Vanjie cut in. Cracker let out a laugh.

“Oh yeah, shit. Sorry I was so mean to you.”

Vanessa smiled easily, the free alcohol that the flatmates were providing clearly making up for any perceived slight. “Don’ worry about it, girl. We’d probably do the same if some hoes we didn’t know turned up at our party.”

“What about you, Scarlet?” Bob asked politely, instantly seeming far less intimidating.

“I’m over on the South Side. Kinda far out. I found this girl on SpareRooms to live with, but she’s a bit of a dick,” Scarlet explained awkwardly. Cracker leaned in, her eyes shining excitedly.

“What’s her name?”

“Fuck, I don’t want to say in case any of you are friends with her!” Scarlet laughed, but no protestations came. She lowered her voice as she continued. “It’s Ra'Jah? Ra'Jah O'Hara?”

“Oh, FUCK!” Bob cried out, holding onto Cracker for support as she almost fell off the bed. “I know who that is! She’s in my Econ tutorials! Oh my God, she’s an actual fucking moron. I had a group project with her once and she did literally nothing but talk about drugs and bitch about people on our course.”

As Scarlet was about to launch into how horrifically messy a flatmate she was, Yvie came back from the kitchen with two bottles of beer and a tall black girl with a shock of lilac hair swept up into a ponytail and a matching straight fringe. She was wearing a black pair of jeans and a tiny black cropped t shirt which showed off her many tattoos, and in her hand looked to be an elaborate mojito-style concoction.

“I made a friend!” she cried, before slumping herself down beside Vanjie, Scarlet growing ever more squashed up against the bedpost.

“Oh, the wanderer returns,” Cracker deadpanned. “What did you make?”

“Margarita mojito,” the girl shrugged, sipping her drink to punctuate her sentence. “It’s basically a mojito with a big-ass shot of tequila in it. Guys, this is Yvie! She’s Nina’s friend!”

“Oh, you’re Scarlet’s girlfriend!” Bob smiled at her in recognition, Yvie clambering into a tiny space on the middle of the bed, handing one of the beers to Scarlet, and casting her a look through narrowed eyes.

“What have you been saying about me, bitch?” Yvie smiled playfully, the look she was fixing her causing a sudden flash of heat to strike between Scarlet’s legs.

“All good things, baby,” Scarlet smiled innocently, Yvie relaxing and leaning back against Scarlet’s chest.

“This is Bob and Cracker. They’re my other flatmates. You’ve already met Monique, then?” Monet introduced the girls to Yvie.

“Yeah, we bonded over watching Akeria flirt with people. The bitch is a fucking mastermind. She walked into the kitchen and had a guy talking to her within, like, one minute.”

“Introduce me, introduce me!” Monique bounced on the mattress excitedly. Vanjie came dangerously close to falling off the bed and Monique quickly noticed, reaching a hand out to her and pulling her up with it. “Shit, sorry girl!”

Scarlet watched as Vanessa swept some hair out of her face and cast a quick appreciative glance to Monique’s toned arm. “Holy mother of Jesus, I gotta start goin’ to the gym.”

Monique let out a bark of a laugh. Cracker caught her other arm and held it steady, the tequila/rum combo threatening to fly out of its glass.

“Brooke, Scarlet and Vanjie, meet Monique.

Monique, this is Brooke, Scarlet and Vanjie,” Cracker pointed to each of them in turn, finishing with Vanjie who still seemed to be casting her eyes over Monique.

“Well, Vanessa. But these girls call me Vanjie. Or Vanj. You choose, really,” Vanjie explained to Monique, the girl’s ponytail swishing as she cocked her head.

“You ever get called baby?” she asked, feigning innocence. Scarlet couldn’t help her eyes shooting wide and her brain almost went into meltdown trying to register everyone’s expressions at once. Vanjie was laughing, but her face had flushed pink, clearly flattered. Cracker was screeching a laugh, Bob looked long-suffering. Nina and Monet were looking at each other urgently, and Brooke was properly looking at Vanessa with interest for the first time since they all sat down on the bed. Scarlet couldn’t see Yvie’s face, but she’d felt her tense up, and she couldn’t blame her.

“Yeah. By Brooke Lynn over there,” Vanessa finally said through her laughter, Monique not seeming fazed as she cast a glance to Brooke, who was smiling patiently but inwardly seething if the red tips of her ears were anything to go by.

“Oh, sorry girl! I didn’t know she was taken,” Monique laughed pleasantly.

“Yeah, we’re a thing,” Brooke opened her mouth, breaking her silence. Vanessa was smiling at her from across the bed, and Brooke met her eyes and smiled back.

“A thing?” Monique let out a short laugh, spilling a little of her drink. “A thing is, like, a noun. Not a relationship.”

“Technically a girlfriend is a noun too. Thing, place, person,” Nina piped up, presumably in an attempt to diffuse the increasingly awkward vibe.

“Are you a primary teacher, Nina?!” Cracker asked, clutching her chest in faux-surprise. Nina sighed.

“If I could reach a pillow, I’d thump you."

"Monet, you hearing this? Your girlfriend is practically chatting me up,” Cracker laughed, then stopped suddenly as her face became a mix of horrified and regretful, Bob giving her a not-so-subtle thump on the arm. In lieu of gauging Monet and Nina’s facial expressions, Scarlet whispered her thoughts to Yvie.

“When the hell are they actually going to become official? It’s been ages!” she hissed into her ear, Yvie craning her head round to reply.

“Nina would have to be on a cocktail mixer of cocaine, Es and alcohol to gain even half the confidence it would take her to ask Monet, so she’s waiting on Monet to do it for her. The thing is, I think Monet’s not as confident as we all like to think either. Maybe sometimes Nina’s panic can present itself as disinterest.”

“So Monet’s maybe waiting until she knows where she stands with her?” Scarlet nodded in realisation.

Yvie sipped her drink and took Scarlet’s hand, tracing round her fingers absent-mindedly. “I think so. I mean, we all know Nina’s absolutely ass-over-tit in love with her because we’re her friends, but she’s not going to let that show to Monet until she’s ready.”

Scarlet watched as Yvie played with a large turquoise ring on her finger. Her brow was furrowed as she thought about the situation, and Scarlet’s heart felt like an enormous water balloon- incredibly fragile and full and feeling as if it was about to burst. She thought back to Yvie’s words on Christmas dinner night, the ones she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since she’d said them.

Suddenly, she was pulled out of her thoughts by a screech from Vanjie, who was looking at Monique with enrapture as she told a story. Admittedly, most of the other girls were looking at her too, but Scarlet didn’t miss the sparkle in Vanjie’s eyes as she listened.

“And there it was, I swear by almighty God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…a whole baggie of weed, in the bin, covered in Cracker’s vomit.”

It was an odd moment for Scarlet to tune into the story but judging by the roar the girls on the bed gave, it seemed to be over. Vanjie had doubled over laughing and was clinging to Monique’s arm for support, the girl in question smiling down at her as if her reaction was the only one that mattered. Scarlet frowned and leaned into Yvie once more.

“Hey. What the hell is the deal with Brooke and Vanjie?” she whispered, making sure to keep her voice extra low. She instantly felt Yvie tense up in her lap.

“What do you mean? They seem fine to me?” Yvie murmured back. Luckily for Scarlet, she knew that Yvie lied so rarely that it was easy to spot when she was telling one.

“You know something. What is it?” Scarlet hissed urgently in Yvie’s ear. Hearing her give a big sigh, Yvie shifted and then rose on the bed.

“Me and Scarlet are just getting another drink, save our seats,” Yvie announced to the circle, receiving a cheer from Nina.

“Enjoy your sex!” she cried after them, and Scarlet, confused, simply followed Yvie to another room. The hall was quieter now, but the same could not be said of the kitchen, where as they walked in they saw Silky, Akeria and Plastique ringleading a game of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Ignoring their friends, Yvie turned to Scarlet urgently, concern covering her face.

“Okay, Brooke told me this in confidence but you’re my girlfriend so I kind of can’t really keep anything from you, right?” she began, Scarlet nodding quickly and desperate to hear what Yvie knew. “But you CAN’T tell anyone about this, babe. Honestly, it needs to stay between us. Do you promise?”

“I promise,” Scarlet said instantly, her mind in overdrive. Yvie pulled a pained face for a moment, seemingly incredibly conflicted, and then looked to the floor.

“Brooke is having second thoughts about being with Vanjie.”

Scarlet’s face dropped. “What?!”

“Brooke told me that she felt everything was getting too intense, and that Vanj wanted more than Brooke felt she could give her. She’s sticking it out to see if it’s just a blip, but…yeah. Now you know why they’ve both been so weird,” Yvie explained, biting her lip and looking at Scarlet with concern.

Scarlet didn’t know what to think. It all made so much sense, the oddly distant vibes between them both, the strained atmosphere, Vanjie flirting with Monique. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Scarlet. “Does Vanessa know?”

Yvie rolled her eyes. “Yes absolutely, Scarlet, Vanjie is very happy staying with someone who isn’t even sure if she wants things to go further with her, Brooke’s told her everything!"

Scarlet’s mind seemed to fuse. "She needs to know.”

Yvie’s expression dropped. “Oh my fucking Christ, you literally just promised not to tell anyone.”

“Well I didn’t know what it was you were going to tell me! I mean shit, Yvie, imagine that was me and you and I was having second thoughts! Would you want to be kept in the dark?”

Yvie bit her lip and looked to the floor. Scarlet gave a snort. “Exactly, bitch. I’m going to go find her right now-”

“Scarlet, please,” Yvie stopped her quickly, reaching out and grabbing her hand. “Brooke would be fuckin’ raging at me. I told you this shit in confidence. I know it’s hard because you’re close with Vanjie, but can you please…I mean hold off at least. If she asks you about it then, fine. You can tell her. But don’t run through there just now.”

Scarlet’s head felt as if it was a mess. She tapped her foot against the linoleum floor. “Who’s she told?”

“Just me,” Yvie said sincerely, looking into Scarlet’s eyes. “Nina doesn’t know. It’s just us.”

Scarlet rolled her eyes. “Fine. But I’m pinning all the fucking blame on you if she finds out I know, you know that?”

Yvie nodded understandingly. Scarlet let out a big sigh. The silence between them hung heavy in the air, at odds with the party happening around them. Suddenly, Plastique tottered into their line of vision, her eyes glazed and drunk.

“Oh my God guys! I haven’t seen you like all night! Selfie!!” she cried, sticking her phone in the air. Scarlet felt herself smile weakly but luckily the photo seemed to be too blurry for anyone to notice. Plastique immediately walked off again.

“Okay bye, nice seeing you,” Yvie deadpanned after her. Scarlet pressed her lips together to stop a laugh escaping them. Yvie caught her eye and snorted, and Scarlet couldn’t help but let out the laugh she’d been holding in. The tension had been diffused by a drunk Plastique, and Scarlet was relieved. She ran her hand down Yvie’s arm and squeezed her hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve just kept the fucking secret,” Yvie sighed, lacing her fingers through Scarlet’s own. She smiled at Scarlet, showing the little gap in her teeth, and Scarlet felt her heart jump. “Hey, I kind of want to go get chips, cheese and gravy and then head back to the flat and watch the Scooby Doo movie. You down?”

Scarlet smiled. She was kind of over the party. She’d been so eager for a night out, but all she wanted right now was a night in with her girlfriend. “Sounds amazing. Let’s go.”

The two headed back through to the bedroom to grab their jackets and say goodbye to the rest of the girls. Notably absent from the room were Brooke and Vanessa, and Scarlet was about to mention this to Yvie when they walked back out into the hall and spotted a tall, blonde girl and a small brunette kissing furiously in a darker, quieter corner. As Yvie opened the front door, she turned to Scarlet.

“I feel like they won’t be far behind us. Brooke must have sorted her shit out, then.”

As Scarlet grabbed one last look at the two girls against the wall, she desperately hoped Yvie was right.

[prorevenge]

Oops... no more kids for you!

For some context: I’m a 41 year old male and I am from Ontario. I was in a relationship with a real prick when I was 37 (blinded by love). I found out that she had been cheating on me, and had been neglecting our our only son Jones (age 4). My ex will be B short for bitch, I am me and my son is S. Now on to the story!

P.S I’m on mobile so sorry for any weird formatting or errors!! And grammars not really my thing so if it sounds a little weird sorry. Also sorry for any inconsistencies I wrote this over multiple days on my notes app.

When I met B we were at a small pub. She was so beautiful (solid 9/10) and once we started a conversation she seemed to good to be true ( yup). I loved being around her and she seemed so sweet. This facade was kept up for around 3 months. Then once we took our relationship further she began to be very protective and clingy. Manageable stuff. Then she starts telling me that she wants kids and to move in together. This took me by surprise as we were only dating for around 5-6 months at this point. I said fuck it and rented out an apartment with her. We both were to pay 50/50 and all was pretty good. Until one day we did the deed and she went to bed as normal. I wake up the next day to go take a shower before work ( boring ass 9-5 ) and I see our condom, yes I know fucking disgusting but I take it off before ejaculating so it was clean. It reminded me of last night obliviously so I go over and ask her how it was. She said it was regular and that I needed to get to work. So me thinking I was being perfect blamed it on the condom. Next time we were getting down I rawed it. And what do you know, morning sickness, she come out positive. Fuck. We were only 1 year in. I realized that I was going to be a father, I got my shit together and started saving for my kid. 8 months rolls by, B is getting more and more irritable and annoyed but I blamed her being pregnant and her hormones were going wild. Finally after waiting and waiting for the day my baby boy is finally born. He looks just like me with B eyes. She was always with the little dude as she was breastfeeding and such, but right around S 6 month she seemed to be leaving him with me a lot and going to the gym to “burn off baby fat” and having a lot of “ girl time”. Me being overwhelmed was okay with this, and could only imagine how hard having a child in you could be. However I was still working my job and could only be at home awake for around 4-5 hours after work. In that amount of time i found myself being left with S for most of it.

1.5 years go by and the same shit keeps happening, being tired at work then going straight home to keep my S company while B is out doing whatever lie she came up with that day (shopping, supper with girls, nails, hair etc..) I just about had enough. I comforted her about it and all she had to say was : “ Sorry hun, not really up for this mother thingy” I was fucking enraged. You housed this child in your body and don’t want it any more. I couldn’t believe her.

By the time S is ,3, B is barley in the house when I’m there, complaining of “I was with him all day give me a break!” Which she wasn’t, he is at day care all day. I would know I pick him up and drop him off. Anyways I had enough I was going to either get her to take care of S more or move out.

I tried sitting her down multiple times, just trying to get her to figure this out with me. Whenever she did I always got the same answer. “I’m trying my best okay and if you don’t believe me then leave asshole!” So I did. Which meant I had to pack my shit. While doing so I found something I’ve never seen before hidden in the very back of the clothes rack, hung up. It was a medium sized t shirt (black) and I was definitely a large to x large guy (6’2” 240 pounds) so I picked it up and saw a fucking name on the tag. This guy deadass wrote his name in his shirt and left it at my house. Written like this Billy Boy (not real name obliviously). So I take the shirt, and ducking dip. The end

I’m fucking around I took that shirt and snooped a little more. I looked up his name in Facebook and he came up as a 21 year old male ( ex was around 45 ) relationship status dating and he had multiple pics of B on his timeline. So I found the little shit what am I gonna do now. I need my son, but I needed a plan. I decided to seek legal help. I was told to take her to court for neglecting S. I forgot to mention this previously but we have a baby monitor in my house to watch over S bed when we are sleeping and such. But it records stuff from 48 hours then deletes if it’s not saved. I ran over and checked out what I could find on it. I found hours of S crying while only B was home ( she worked 11-6) so I would’ve been at work. You can see her walking into the room multiple times and leaving while he is bawling, she wouldn’t feed him, give him milk, rub his back, nothing. Then I found a clip of her walking in on him throw up, she walks out for 2 and a half hours then finally comes back in and cleans it up.

This bitch was done.

I took all the evidence I had to court and had her sent away for neglect. I got full custody of my son and I couldn’t be happier. I got the apartment. Life is good without assholes in it.

(source) story by (/u/goatman-and-a-half)

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 3/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

just an addition that i forgot to add in the last two parts: i didn’t get his pic or anything, but seeing Witch Doctor™ müller-wohlfahrt in person was insane. if you watch netflix’s dark season 2, and see 1986 ulrich nielsen, THAT’S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE SDHBMFSDMNBFNMB

anyway, so i uber-ed to the mall. thank god it was only 5 minutes or so away from the hotel since i was really desperate to get a wristband for adidas. the t-mobile meet with josh and sven didn’t require wristbands, but there was gonna be a line and time’s limited and they might (and they did) cut it off at some point. thankfully, the mall just opened (ish) and i got wristband #53 for adidas. score! i also confirmed thrice with the guy that as long as i have the wristband i can get in. nice!

after getting the wristband, i went up to get in line for t-mobile. thankfully, i was within the first 5 or so people so i can do both meet-and-greets!

multi-tasking! you love to hear it!

i met up with @simplyirenic​ and a guy named nick who we met at the hotel reception a few days before and chatted to pass the time. finally it was around 1:30 to 2pm and the mall was packed with bayern fans. it was sad to see people, especially little kids, trying to line up for adidas but had to be turned away since the wristbands ran out already.

after a few line games and waves with the t-mobile people, we finally got inside the store to start the meet. while i was waiting my turn and praying that my phone doesn’t die (i only had 8% battery life left at that point), i saw richie (one of bayern’s media guys) and some guy named greg (thought he was with bayern at first, but now i’m not sure) and told them my ulterior motive for the t-mobile thing. they understood and saw that i was about to pass out from fear and anxiety and told me they’d include the footage in the final video. they weren’t kidding sbfdsnmfbmfbdsmfdb (got a gif of it here)

so. it was finally my turn and sven hasn’t looked up yet since he was signing more cards and chatting with josh. i creeped up behind them and said “hallo!” josh was so cute and perky and said “hallo!” back. sven looked like he didn’t recognize me (thank god) but i just couldn’t let it pass so as we were having our pics taken, i put my hand on his back and mumbled (while trying to smile for the cameras): “hey, i don’t know if you remembered in the hotel earlier, but i’m really sorry. i meant to take a picture with you AND leon. sorry!” i don’t know if he remembered it at all or was just being nice, but all the same he said “no, it’s okay!”

i didn’t care. BLESS HIM! my day is saved! so we said cheese one last time before i left.

extra notes: i also wanted to tell him that his red card was BS but didn;t have time for that lmao. also josh is such an angel and his hair was so fluffy and blonde i wanted to die ;__;

i said goodbye to richie and greg and waited for nick (he also had a wristband) and we went down to get in line for adidas. while lined up i met more bayern fans (hello @zomgannalolz​​ and @alex-bregman​​!). fangirled with them for a bit (and showed them my niko ass videos from the night before sdjnhdnfbdn) and finally we were in! from afar, i could only see manu bc he was standing up (benji and thomas were sitting down) and he was wearing his bright watermelon keeper kit. finally my turn came and said hi to benji again. he signed my shirt (again; he already signed it at the hotel reception) and we took pics (again). SERVUS BENJI!

next up was manu (again)!

me: hi manu, it’s me again

manu: oh hello! the hotel right?

me: *dying that he recognized me and thinking about that near-knockout experience* yessssss

he signed my shirt (again lmao) and we posed for pics. he was so. freaking. tall. i put my arm around him and half my brain was floating and making observations:

1. wrow. he tall. as h e l l.

2. the keeper jersey has a different feel than the normal outfield player jersey. hmmm (scratchier and more... cellophane-y....?)

3. my face is literally pressed up against his right boob. n o i c e

4. my left arm is around his waist. i can feel nice ridges. holy shit. SI D E A BS !!!!!! *scream*

yeah, it was an out-of-body-experience. i also nearly forgot to take his autograph card but he subtly inserted it into my hand as i was leaving. I LUFF U MANU!!!!

it’s probably poetic that my meet-and-greet ended with thomas. he’s my favorite player and i have his jersey. first time he signed it it only had 4 other signatures (at the hotel reception), and the second time was earlier that day at the hotel (with him eating a huge ass banana). i came up to him and he was like “hey!” HE RECOGNIZED ME I JUST----

anyway, i tried to keep it cool and said “yeah it’s me again from the hotel lmao” and he was like “so do you want a third signature?” (he saw he already had two sigs in the jersey). i didn’t care and said “if you want to! i don’t mind!”he reviewed it and quietly said “wow” when he saw my almost-full bayern haul (my jersey was full of autographs by then) and said “let’s just put it up, yes?”

he wanted to put up my müller jersey! thomas freakin’ müller himself wanted to show my jersey! tbh it was a great idea lmao so i said “cool! okay!”

i was literally the happiest binch in the world!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!! keep deuter-ing that raum, Raumdeuter!!!!!!!

in the end, with the exception of david (i’m sad, i really wanted pics with alabae), phonzie (saw him a couple times, but never got to him), renato (i always miss him for some reason!!!!), and c*man (i don’t really want anything from him anyway, except maybe goals, so doesn’t really count lmao), plus the other bayern kids, i got everyone!!!!!!

BEST. DAY. EVER. from despairing literally just the night before about wasting my one day extension, to unexpectedly getting more than i bargained for-- the ULTIMATE mega fan experience-- it was just insane. they’re all really nice and accommodating too! that’s how i know i support the best club ever (even if they’re such clowns sometimes but oh well lmao)

now, one last part to go. the actual best (and WORST) part of everything. if you’ve followed me for more than an hour then i don’t need to explain to you just how much i needed to get just ONE CRUMB of niko fucking kovac. and boy oh boy did i get a lil bit more than that......👀

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

[pepperpixel]

pointless raving nostalgia about mmorpg’s ahead (or well.. one mmorpg.)

omfg....................... i was just thinkin about maplestory and shit and redownloading it again cuz i was feelin nostalgic or whatever. when out of the corner of my eye on the nexon website i see mabinogi.... and just get. bLASTED with nostalgia.... like. fuck dude. i can’t believe how much shit i forgot i did in mabinogi. like, i’ve thought of it before but for some reason all i thought about was those weekly exp gala thingies they have? (which i can’t find ANTYTHING ABOUT ONLINE BUT I SWEAR THEY HAPPENED) and also fishing to pass the time before said gala. (idk why my brain focused on only these two things) but then like. looking at the big titty goddess lady on the nexon website all my good ass times there just came rushing back to me..... like... fuck!!!! like!!! fuck!!!!

i remember the very first time i ever played it when i was like... 10 or 11. somebody had hacked it and slaughtered all the npc’s. like.... every single one of them, so i had no clue what i was supposed to be doing. but like. this kind group of players in the middle of the town square explained the situation to me and gave me robes and an ice wand. and i got to hang out with them around there campfire thru the night and chatted with them. it was rlly sweet! im pretty sure they let me join there guild too. it was rlly cool and a rlly fun introduction to the game tbh..

and i also remember when i first discovered there were like?? multiple different continents?? ( i mean, i think there were only 2 but 1 of them was rlly big) and the one that wasn’t the starting one was fucking GINORMOUS. so i made it my goal to cross the fucking desert and get to the elf city on the other side! and it was fucking awesome!! it was like a whole journey and i was running solo! me + 1 horse im pretty sure? and u can pic ur age for ur character in mabinogi so mine was like. a small short child. so it was such a nice feel of adventure traversing the scary ass desert! like that shit was treacherous. there were underground points i had to travel thru sometimes and monsters/animals to fight and i think at one point i had to ride a boat across a river. it was just rlly cool!! and i was so happy when i reached the elf city! and i found out that when u reach a different races settlement you can make a character of that race and start in the settlement u found! which was awesome! so u bet ur ass i made a fuckin elf after that.

anyway there isn’t rlly any point to this text post. i just wanted to rave about mabinogi cuz it just came into my mind.

[pooklet]

unaesthetic asks (anon edition)

i usually use a psd for asks to make them look nice and transparent and number them but tbh it’s just keeping me from answering asks quickly, having to shift layers around and stuff. so this is me literally cutting and pasting the text of some asks into a text post instead, sry.

if i did not answer yr thing here i lost/never got the ask, need a separate post to answer it (community lot anon), or worked myself into an anxious lather when i did not have an immediate response at the ready and fled into the woods to hide inside an old damp log and mutate slowly into a creature composed entirely of moss.

1) hey friend i think i can actually help with this one! slig did my poor lover for momma lisa, and has a few of my other skins linked to different body meshes in this tag here. @asimplevampire​ also did rehash for androgyny. those are the two i know off the top of my head but if anyone else knows any others pls reply to this post!

i don’t personally make showerproof skintones for body meshes because i a) am lazy and b) don’t usually take pics of my sims in the shower or naked in general so the occasional floating head just gives me a lil chortle when it does happen.

2) yis, it is the second to last one in this post by @magpieplayssims​ with a bunch of face masks piled on.

3) i use a personal edit of gunmod’s 3.1 A camera which alters the, like, central pivot axis so i can swing the camera underground into any basements i might be using. as a result, whenever i load the lot, it starts me off zoomed inside the floor, you just gotta zoom out with the scroll wheel to get above ground and it works normally from there. i haven’t figured out how to mitigate this while still being able to access underground rooms. which is why my edit never got its own post, but i did share it here.

4) nah, not really. i mean i have an outdated one at the back of my catalogue but my face is boring to me cuz i see it every day n stuff & i’m less and less interested in making human features now that custom sliders have let me go absolutely mad with power.

5) ye sorry i put that on my to-do list and promptly forgot about it cuz my brain seems to think that putting something on a list means it’s done forever now!!!! but now it’s actually done and i’m fixing the other links too.

6) yr phone is a craven liar and i will not stand for this libel. earlier today i was genuinely bewildered by a discussion about channing tatum cuz i thought his name was tatum channing. i sat there for minutes, convinced that there were two guys in hollywood one named channing tatum and the other named tatum channing and wondering if that ever got confusing for them.

7) u would be surprised, friend! my memory is a lawless wasteland but i do not end up chatting back and forth w/ many ppl b/c i am a seething pit of social anxiety. if we talked, like, more than twice, i probs remember u!

8) omg i was about to be like “nah i never made nosemasks for those” but that is a fucking lie of the highest caliber, i totally did make one (1) set and then forgot entirely about it. i will post them with the next batch of bodyshop content which should be Shortly (and if i don’t just yell @ me and i’ll just lazily put them on sfs and link them in a reply).

also thank u anon i am glad u like my content! :D

9) omg thank u so much anon that is so sweet of u to say!! truly i don’t feel like i have accomplished a whole lot beyond managing to snag @resurrection-failed​ but that is definitely the Best thing i could accomplish so i am 100% fine w/ that

10) oh ts4. i want to play it real bad but i have discovered that playing games that are still being updated and could break at any moment due to a new patch or ep gives me hives. esp when it’s sims games b/c those are held together exclusively w/ wishes and prayers as it is. they’re like the bottom panel of an expanding brain meme on spaghetti coding. at least when the game is Done there nothing else for EA to break (... right?). plus i only have base+pets and no money to throw at the other expansions so i could maybe download 1/10th of the cc available out there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but i am excited to be late af to the party. lemme tell u. thank u for saying such nice things, anon!! i hope u have a good day also. like, lots of ‘em.

11) hey anon! it’s built into tumblr’s text editor. u type the text first, highlight it, and click on the fourth button that looks like a slouchy figure 8 to insert yr link. i’m not sure if it’s the same on mobile, tho, cuz the tumblr mobile app is self-elected torture.

12) i do not right now but i can make one. idk if it would interest you but i am also doing a big ol’ blend of the hq eyes and wifezaya’s favorite ephemera mist eyes and will make a default version of those too when they are done.

13) nah i am still using my v3 texture for straight hairs and for waves or natural hair i just use nouk’s originals. i’m old-fashioned and boring. if u need help w/ making yr own, tho, i would suggest checking out @furbyq​’s tutorial here!

14) hey friend! i did have plans to do that, in that vague way where i have plans to do many things but most of the time end up taking a five-hour nap under a cat instead or watchin game grumps. luckily, @digitalangels​ is a doll and did it for me so consider this my official endorsement. i am pooklet and i approve this action.

15) hey anon. when did i call it that?? i think usually i just call it marriage or equal marriage if i need to specify (or gay marriage if i’m feelin Spicy cuz nonbinary-for-nonbinary is pretty gay). if i did say same-sex it was probs w/ implied air-quotes since that was the term du jour when we got married, which was 3+ years before the supreme court mandate, when it was only legal in some places and everyone was still ‘‘‘‘debating’’’’ the ‘‘‘‘issue’’’’ of queers gettin all married.

16) i been gatherin’ links for u anon but lemme look around a lil more. i will either give this its own post or add it as its own section in the resource post that is like .... five years overdue. meanwhile if anyone reading this has anything they either know is made for dark skin or works well universally or knows of a list like this that already exists, i would appreciate links!

17) I KNOW THAT’S YOU, AZAYA

[anyhao-archived]

okay im finally getting around to posting this, tbh i had to take a few days to (rest) before i thought more about this lol. also sorry it’s so long, ill put it under a read more. ANYWAYS my vav experience, as follows:

so for the fan sign there was a Lot going on so i forgot most of it but.. barons teeth sparkled when he smiled lmao anyways st van was first and I told him he was my moms favorite and he went rly?? in a really cute voice and he just seemed so surprised, it was endearing

and then jacob... i don’t mess with him anymore. jk lol he was so freaking attractive but like in a Hot way? his smile was so nice that im pretty sure i garbled my words but i tried to tell him i really like love night.. and I was going to ayno and like idk if i was joking to myself or what but just loud enough i actually said, oh that’s lots of bling! and both ayno and jacob heard me, ayno laughed genuinely and jacob was like omg i can’t believe this idiot.. i don’t think i said anything to ayno, he seemed really uncomfortable so i didn’t want to bother him anymore. but his laugh was genuine i could tell, and for a split second i don’t think he was wearing his Idol Mask(TM) when he smiled. but that’s probably just wishful thinking lol

ACE I CANT BELIEVE HIM he looked so fucking good oh my god i got to him and i called him a Casanova and he went ayyyy with a thumbs up and finger guns and i wanted to die lmfao

when i got to baron he said my name but kinda pronounced it wrong but i corrected him, and he said it again. and then i told him my name rhymes with his and he said mine like four times in different ways trying it out and rhyming it with his stage name😭 HE DIDNT have to say my name that many times, god. his English was so fucking good holy shit and his pronounciation??? Amazing and he’s so handsome up close, like literal Disney prince handsome

ziu talks sooo much!!! I love it and he’s so good looking and kind and he shook my hand and ??? he said to enjoy the show and i told him to enjoy doing the show and he did like a shy smile kind of thing !! you could tell he was trying hard with the English i was rly proud of him

lou had a flower crown on and i complimented on it and he said my name so well and there was more with him but i forgot 😢

but that was just the fan sign lol so much other stuff happened... later during the show i nearly died bc of ayno.. they were picking people to go up on stage, right? and there was a girl in front of me also with her hand raised, like freaking out (maybe a bit too much?) and i was like okay she probably wants it so i kinda like.. stopped raising my hand and gestures to her? If that makes sense... he almost picked her but when he saw me be nice and let her have it, he literally stares at me and picks me, dead on...but someone random that he wasn’t pointing at like ROWS back walked on stage before we could realize it was me but that fucking eye contact i had with him made him SHOOT up my bias list lol now I have to rethink my entire order. im like 75% sure that he picked me because i wasn’t a crazy fan, like the girl in front of me was a bit much.. and obviously if i was willing to give it up im not that insane... ladies, it pays off to be a nice person!

AND JACOB WITH THE BABY please end me i fell for him so much like he’s almost overtaking baron that’s how much i liked him last night and how nice is vav that they tried to pick new people?? like they picked the fan boy, the little baby, the elderly lady.. and they even helped her to and from the stage 💗😍 AND SPEAKING of gentlemanly stuff there was a guy with a wheelchair during the snapshots in line for jacob and when they were done he personally pushed the guy in the wheelchair all the way to where the man needed to go. he breaks my heart and heals it simultaneously, he’s so underrated but still a genuinely and QUIET nice person.. he doesn’t do good stuff to be noticed. like when winter breeze was over, they had the rappers sing it too... but not jacob. i was so upset and he also didn’t do his solo song that i specifically told him i liked, but ayno did two of his. im not bitter at all what do u mean ??? 🤷‍♀️

i feel like more happened at the concert but i can’t think of much more, im sure other fan accounts will have it all. the only thing i can think about is the snapshots anyways lol

the group picture was ... interesting. the hi touch wasnt much except it reinforced my idea that ayno recognized me, bc instead of a high five he held my hand for as long as possible, probably an apology for earlier. i nearly died. the pic ended up looking awful but thats okay lol. then we tried to leave but i ended up going the wrong way, and a staff handed me roughly like actually grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in the right direction (which i did not appreciate, please chill, u just didnt tell us the right way to go...) and a few members saw that and didnt like either. ayno looked irritated but im sure  hes just irritated at everything at that point lol, lou and ace looked at me sympathetically, and i gave ace the happy bday present someone asked me to give to him. he was so surprised it was adorable.

OKAY, NOW FOR THE SNAPSHOTS: so i actually had 7 snapshots but ended up getting 2 with jacob and 2 with ayno instead of one with everyone (which.. if u look above is not a surprise lmfao) so the first snapshot i do is with baron, obviously.. and this ASSHOLE wants to kill me like... for everyone i tried to pick poses that werent too touchy bc a) im not comfortable w that and b) im sure they were all tired of being touched lol so i picked the one where you make fingerhearts while standing next to each other, but NOOOOO

baron decides he doesnt like that pose enough so he literally puts his hands on my shoulders, guides me to a position thats not only in FRONT of him but CLOSER TO HIM than i was originally!!! what the fuck!! thats not all after that he had to lean around me and basically like... he was so fucking close to me oh my god. he smelled so good i need to know where he gets his cologne. also lol when he moved me in front of him i was like... omg are u sure??? im kinda tall.. and he just laughs and smiles and leans into/around me. that picture of me looks so stupid bc i was so.. happy and Not Ready lmao

anyways i go to jacob next and do the e-t touch pose lol since like i said... didnt want touchy ones and he seemed amused that i picked that one. i wonder if it was one of the least popular ones? probably.. and GOD hes rly such a gentleman hottie like i rarely say h*t but.... jacob was hot. since we did the e.t touch pose we had to touch fingertips and (eyes emoji) not to have a hand kink or anything but hes got. really nice hands. long fingers. also lmfao he had long ass fingernails and i kinda joked with him like “youve got longer fingernails than i do!!” and he laughed and smiled at me. and okay i turn to leave like gotta have the next person go but APPARENTLY he wasnt ready for the next person yet...  i literally had to have the staff be like wait! jacob is saying bye to you!!! and i was like WHAT and turned around and ran back to him basically to say bye he was grinning the entire time and he waved his hand and held it up for (i thought) a high five but he grabbed it and i swear i fell for him right there. JACOB WHEN WILL U BE MINE godfjkdgd and i watched him for a little bit but he didnt say bye that enthusiatically to anyone else (that i saw, at least)

then i did the prom pose with st. van, it was adorable. you could tell he was rly trying to interact with everyone and idk what it is about him but i felt comfortable enough to actually do a Touchy pose (the holding arm pose, like prom yknow). we love an amazing leader~

oH i did one with ziu too!! i did the byung byung pose with the hands together and we both looked ridiculous lol. i dont remember much about him except he was so tall wtf taller than i expected.

at this time i keep looking at my pics and THE E.T PIC WITH JACOB??? makes me crack the hell up.... it had to have been fate, obviously. in the pic (from the camera flash, i guess) where our fingers were touching, it just SO HAPPENED THAT THERE WAS A FLASH OF LIGHT......... iconic. jacob n i are meant to be. so i get in line for him again bc i want to show him the pic, but by the time i got up there again i had forgotten. i was also like... ready for a touchy pose with him bc why not. i cant remember what pose i did with him or if anything happened, im sure i was in a trance then lmao. pretty sure he recognized me but i cant be sure. 

then i get in line for ayno and i have two snapshot tickets left, and the staff announces theres only a few mins left so i was like SHIT and figured id just do two with ayno bc i didnt wanna waste any. his line was so long and staff had to keep reminding ppl not to hug/touch him and i felt soooo bad. i picked poses that werent too close to him, and even those in the pic he looked like he was trying to not be close to me lol. i feel so bad for him, im sure he got a lot of weird fans that night. i think he recognized me (again) because he smiled genuinely like he was happy i was there. i think he appreciated that i picked poses that didnt require touching -- he probably had a Lott of that. when the second pic was being printed the staff member laughed at something someone said, but i thought she was laughing at my picture bc i take shit pics and i got offended for a second and so did ayno LMAO but then she explained and i said bye to him and he went back into Idol Mask(TM) and i think that was it. 

i also ate at ihop that night, it was great, we didnt get back to our hotel till after 2am, it felt so... young adult-ish to be out so late lmao. i was very proud at how everything turned out, i dont think i wouldve changed a thing

anyway, long story short: im in love with jacob, baron is a disney prince, ayno shot up my bias list (he was like... last lmao) and i appreciate him as a person. those three were the Big Three, but i still loved meeting the other members. 10/10 would recommend vav