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#(girl who has been up 12 hours and will now probably stay up four more so i don't have to stay up for like 20 editing tomorrow)
lynxgirlpaws · 9 months
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>do nothing all day >finally start editing >hear my voice >massive self hatred god I fujcking love this
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purplesurveys · 1 year
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1668
i went on my first hike yesterday and my whole body is in pain :)
When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup? Does it count if I just put foundation all over my face and dabbed concealer on a few acne scars...? That’s all I ever do anyway, lol. Last March.
Do you own an iPad? I guess we do, yeah, but 1) I haven’t used it since 2017 and even at that point it was no longer eligible for like a million software updates, and 2) I also haven’t seen it since then lol. I’m not even sure the old-school charger for it is still being sold so I have no clue if we’ll ever get to turn it back on again.
Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? That would be Keina, one of the few girls who were part of our hiking group. She was actually one of the guides and was kind enough to stay behind the rest of the team and be with me the whole descent because I was trailing BADLY behind, lol. What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? Anywhere between 72-75 hours. Worst job deliverable I had to have been on and I’d rather forget about that account and everything I did for them that week.
Do you believe in karma? Not in the ~religious sense and not for every single situation but sometimes it can be satisfying to think that some people have it coming for them.
What temperature is your thermostat currently set to? I can’t think of any middle-class Filipino family that would have a thermostat.
What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? Hiking. Before yesterday I thought it was something I could enjoy...total 180º now. I get why there’s a crowd for it, but it’s just not for me. After completing it I felt nothing but misery and the itchiness to go home. Are you a kind, thoughtful person? I always try to be.
Do you know anyone who has a PhD? Besides my college professors, no.
Who were you dating in July 2010? Or were you single? I was 12 and dating wasn’t even on my mind then.
How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? Largely uncomfortable and when it happens I always proactively try to switch the topic or attention to someone else.
Would you rather be a nurse or a mechanical engineer? I guess nurse, because I did consider taking up med at one point in life.
Do you like Starbucks chai lattes, or do you think they’re too sweet? I’ve never tried a chai latte; I don’t even know what it is lol.
Are you and your SO facebook official? I don’t have one.
Do you know how to set a formal table setting for a 3+ course dinner? No but my dad probably would. I’d get the tutorial from him instead. Are you in a good mood today? I feel super well-rested (15 HOURS after that hike; passed out as soon as I got home and took a shower, and now it’s 7 AM the following day) but I think it’d be a stretch to call it a good mood. My body feels like it went through war and I’m not very fond of the idea of having to go outside twice today considering how much discomfort I’m in at the moment. Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? My fave aunt is one. I’m pretty sure a bunch of my relatives on my maternal grandfather’s side are lawyers too. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Not likeable. I can survive not caring what people think of me in certain aspects, like how I work; but if I’m told there isn’t one single likeable reason about me then I feel like that’s just inviting the gates of anxiety to crash down on me. It’s like, people won’t like me anyway so why go out of the house anymore? Do my closest friends even like me or just to pretend to? and thinking of those things 24/7 lol.
Do you have a difficult time relating to other’s emotions? Sometimes. I can’t always be able to read everyone.
How many bedrooms does your house have? We have four.
What was the last electronic item you bought? A smart watch for my dad.
Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No.
When you were 15, what did you want to grow up to be? A journalist.
Did you ever achieve that? I went to journalism school but was quick to be disillusioned. I ended up going down a slightly different path that still lets me apply my journalism learnings, which is a career in PR.
Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Once or twice. Way, way back when I was depressed.
Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? No. The older I get the more I realize I dislike super processed junk food lol, so it’s been a while since I got chips for myself. 
Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? It probably wouldn’t upset me once they start showing up at the age of like 60, but if I find some on me at this point in my life then it would, yeah. How often do you buy a new phone? Depends on how fast I break it.
Would you rather live in an apartment in the city, or a cabin in the woods? City. Yesterday’s hike also made me realize how much I prefer to be in the city. Do you use Snapchat? Ahahahaha seriously? I haven’t used Snapchat since the beginning of college.
Have you ever driven or ridden on a motorcycle? Nopes. Scooter yeah, but not a motorcycle.
Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? I don’t.
Are any other members of your household home right now? Everyone but my dad, yeah. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? Began as a PR associate. I’m still with the same company, just moved up twice now since starting.
What was your favorite school subject when you were in middle school? English/Language.
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goeie-morgen · 3 years
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Gossip Guy podcast with Willem De Schryver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYjtRYOGS00
translated by @jackfrostsander @bruisingknees @lblogss @yousmina and me :)
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E: I do have another present for you.
W: Oei oei oei, presents.
E: I do that every week. I give something to my guest of the week.
W: Oei oei oei. Do I slide it?
E: Here in the front is a flap that you have to fold upwards…
[Intro]
E: Wassup people, welcome to a new episode of the Gossip Guy podcast. My name is Ender Scholtens and today I’m here with Willem De Schryver. Everything ok?
W: Sure sure (In Dutch sure is used as a confirmation to a question).
E: Is this your first podcast?
W: Yes, this is my first podcast.
E: Stress?
W: No, it will be fine, right? Relaxed.
E: I don’t know… (laughing). For the people who don’t recognize you, from where could they know you?
W: Hmmm, probably from the youth series WTFOCK where, in the third season, I play the role of Sander.
E: And we are allowed to talk about it in this podcast.
W: Yeah I also heard that. Yes, it’s over.
E: Was it a difficult chapter of your life to close?
W: Yes, I still clearly remember the last moment… Like really the last last scene at the sea… That was an emotional moment because you went through a lot as a group, you did a lot together, and emotional scenes, intimate scenes. But yes, I think, if I speak for the whole group that it was a goodbye to the series but not a goodbye from each other. We still keep in contact. Mainly through WhatsApp.
E: Yeah, the end of the series was beautiful. I sat next to my girlfriend when it just came online. Because there were a few scenes that we hadn’t seen yet and we were just watching them… And we refreshed and the last episode was online… The last piece was online… So, I thought… I really cried… It caused quite some emotions.
W: For many people… Also under the cast and even the extras that were present for that last scene… Even among them. I can remember that they got emotional because it really was over over. I think that we, WTFOCK, have been able to impact a lot of young people in Belgium. So, it’s beautiful… We closed it beautifully…
E: I don’t doubt that. I really liked the end. What is your favorite memory from your whole WTFOCK experience?
W: Hoh, hmmm. Do I have to choose one? Difficult to choose one… I think that the most enjoyable moments… At the end of each series… Almost… We were at the sea or in the Ardennes, as a group, for a vacation. Away together. And those moments… Away with the whole cast and crew… Being away for a whole weekend. And in the evening, talking late into the night and that creates a special connection and I think that, in general, was the most enjoyable… Yes, it affects me… You share, as a young person, a common dream or something we want to realize as an actor to succeed and everyone who works so hard for that… That’s nice to see.
E: I recently talked to Veerle and I know that if she sees Nora, like somewhere, say at a party… Then they stay together for the whole evening… Do you have that? With who did you have the best connection throughout that whole experience?
W: Yes…
E: That doesn’t mean that the rest is not chill or so…
W: No the rest is all stupid… There’s only one person… I hate you all! (joking) No! Yes, hmmm, I think that I definitely have the best connection with Willem. Just because we have been through a lot… I always compare the WTFOCK crew a bit to my own friend group, aside from the cast. I mean, I know to whom I can go for what. I know I can go to some if I feel sad, to talk and I know who I can go to to have a laugh. And who I can go to to have a general chat. And everyone has their qualities or like their own aura around them… Where I love to hang around. So, it differs from person to person. So, it’s hard to choose one person but Willem then in the sense that, if you jump naked together in a swimming pool and if you have intimate scenes together… That creates a connection, of course. So, yes, if I have to choose one person…
E: Is there a barrier that you have to overcome to play such scenes? Because they are very intimate, indeed. And I, personally, couldn’t imagine… I can’t act… But, to empathize with a role… To play such scenes… Is that difficult for you?
W: Huh, yes, that’s a question I get often. I mean like… Yeah and you have to empathize with that character… But yes, you step into that project with a certain professionalism and you say “okay, we are going to create a story and bring it to the public with certain values and that we want to tell something and show something” …So, yes, you don’t really think about it. So, it’s not like I thought “Ooooo, I am kissing with a boy but I am interested in girls”. That was not a problem for me because it really is about telling the story and making that together and if the story requires that then you just completely go for it.
E: That’s cool. What are your future acting ambitions? You now have played in a series, is that something you want to do more in the future or do you like theatre more or movie or…
W: I find it difficult to choose between theatre and film, for example. After WTFOCK I played in Déjà Vu, which you can see on Streamz and later this year on Channel 4… And I study theatre at KASK. And I notice the difference, due to the recordings, I am really in the field and I am busy and I work, while at school I learn new things about theatre… So, in my opinion I have more experience in television work because I actually have done projects for that and I haven’t yet for theatre, which is still school and learning. So, I think it’s currently hard to choose but I think, maybe it’s a cliché answer, but the combination is maybe ideal, of course. But I am still exploring and I will see how it goes…
7:02
E: What is your favorite food?
W: My favorite food?
E: Yes.
W: Hmmmm, in the past I was really a basic guy… Like spaghetti bolognese or so… But now, generally after my exams, I go to a restaurant with my grandma. She always buys. That’s always amazing. I am a fan. And I always take steak tartare with fries. That remains a bit of a guilty pleasure.
E: How long, do you think, would it take you to eat five full plates of spaghetti bolognese?
W: Hoh, hmmm. The thing is, my stomach is rather small…
E: Small?
W: I think that I would have to schedule in… Okay, after a certain time I would have to throw up and then eating further…
E: You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to say… Okay, I take a few days…
W: No, no, not that…
E: You’re going to do it in a day?
W: Look, two plates… Three if I really push…
E: You get preparation time so you know like a week before… So, you can like…
W: Train yourself?
E: Yes, train…
W: Hoh, alee say about four hours…
E: Four hours?! Five plates, he? Like five really big plates…
W: Yeah but yeah, four minutes… I am exaggerating… Let’s say a day… In a day five plates…
E: Ok, that should work. Then you basically have every meal… Breakfast… Lunch… Dinner… and in between… pasta…
W: Pasta as breakfast…
E: One day should definitely be feasible.
W: Yes, indeed.
8:49
E: What is, according to you, the reason you were placed on this planet?
W: Fuck (laughs).
E: Existential crisis, okay? Have you never thought about what the purpose of life is and what…
W: Yes, certainly… Hmmm, I'm someone who worries a lot. When I'm in bed in the evening I start to think about questions like that and then I think “what am I doing? Willem… where do I want to go to and…” Hmmm, why was I put on this planet? Hmmmm… (speechless followed by laughing). This is really bad… It’s like I don’t value myself…
E: Noooo, but I didn’t expect a deep philosophical answer. Well, if you had one… really good but…
W: Okay I’m going to think about my philosophical answer… but no. If you want… No! Yes, now I'm really going to sound philosophical but… (crosstalk) Everyone who is on earth has a certain reason to be here and everyone… I for example have that… I really feel that… I never liked going to school. Especially, in lower and high school. I… I actually, on purpose, put my fingers in my throat in the morning to throw up…
E: Wow, that’s heavy…
W: And then going downstairs to say “papa I’m ill, can I stay home?” I don’t know why but that whole system… Sitting behind a desk all day… And those classes… that was not for me. And then I discovered my passion for acting and discovered that it really suited me. And that’s the thing… A lot of people often ask me like “how did you start?” and “I also would like to do that and where do I start and I have been rejected does that mean I am not good enough?” but I think that sometimes you shouldn’t rush to find your passion. It can take longer then you would like it to take. I think that if you too intensively search for "what am I good at?" and “I have to find something that I am good at” and… For me that’s happened unexpectedly. I did take acting classes on Wednesday afternoons after school and I kind of got into it like that… I think it differs for everyone and that everyone has their own purpose here on earth.
E: And would you say your purpose is acting?
W: Yeah…
E: There isn’t a right answer but how does it feel for you at the moment? Is that the thing you love doing the most or do you see yourself doing for a long time?
W: The thing is… I’m a person who gets tired of things very quickly. I’ve had a lot of hobbies.
E: So maybe next week you want to garden or something?
W: No, no I wouldn’t say that. No the thing is, with acting that isn’t the case. Since I was twelve… well first on amateur level…
E: How old are you now?
W: 19.
E: Oh wow I thought you were my age. 19… damn bro you’re three years younger than me.
W: 2001 represent.
E: That’s literally… you’re the same age as my brother! What the shit. Alright, no okay.
W: In November so almost 2002. I’m really a latecomer.
E: What?! You look like you’re the same age as me and everything.
12:14
W: But that’s honestly – thank you for saying that! I always used to be the “little guy.” None of the girls wanted to be with me cause they just thought I was cute.
E: I see.
W: And they came to me to talk about their love lives.
E: Oh, okay.
W: So I was always that guy who was like: “I’m in love with you.” “Oh, how cute! You’re so cute!” So I was always like: “Okay then, I’m never going to find anyone, I’m always going to stay… short. I’ll be all alone.” And then all of a sudden I –
E: Do you think height matters in regard to your chances with certain… people?
W: At this age I don’t think it does anymore, but I do think that – I think at – I just remember in high school that the romantic idea of what love was supposed to look like was very: a boy and a girl, and the boy has to be taller and stronger and bigger than the girl. But I think that now it’s more… I mean, at my age I’m convinced it’s more fluid than that, and it doesn’t have to be that way. So it doesn’t have to be an issue anymore.
E: But still, when you go on Twitter, short guys are still –
W: Yeah.
E: Totally annihilated.
W: I have notice – I have noticed – Yeah, it’s still… It’s still this… general thing that people get stuck on. Like: “Oh, a short dude. That’s not okay.” Or whatever.
E: Or like the guy has to be taller. But no, we’re – we’re – not… not all relationships… we’re really generalizing here. But I get what you mean.
W: Yeah.
E: No, it’s – I do think it’s still important. I think that when you’re, and this is really harsh, but that a lot of people look at you differently when you’re taller. I have this dude in my friend group, Louis Ledegen, and he’s close to 2 meters tall, and just some girls look at him and they just think that’s so… attractive or whatever. And I just can’t even imagine.
W: I don’t get that either.
E: That that makes them go like: “Wow!”
W: I was in the train just now and this dude walked by me and he was honestly like 2 meters tall and I was just thinking: “When you’re that tall, and you’re with…” I mean, the girl almost has to get on a stepping stool to reach him for a kiss! And girls are like – I mean, I’ve heard before that girls think it’s attractive when a man is really tall.
E: Yeah.
W: And yeah, I don’t know… I don’t totally get it.
E: No.
W: Maybe it’s cause I’m not that tall myself, that I’m like trying to protect myself and be all: “That’s not necessary!”
E: Yeah! If anybody knows the answer, do we, being shorter guys, have less of a chance?
W: Let us know, please.
14:53
E: Please let us know! We need some answers! Now in the show, wtFOCK, your hair’s a different color.
W: Yeah.
E: Yeah. Is that something… So that was actually – it wasn’t really blonde?
W: It was completely bleached.
E: Bleached.
W: It was more to the… But the thing is that they had to do it twice, cause the first time… I got there, for the first table read with the director and Willem [Herbots] and they were like: “Hey, Willem. We wanted to ask you something. We’d like to bleach your hair for the role.”
E: Yeah.
W: And I was like: “… Okay.”
E: Okay.
W: “And why?” No. “Just for the character and stuff.” So I was like: “Okay. That’s fine.” The thing is I had to be at the hairdresser for 4 hours for this.
E: Oh wow, heavy.
W: It was like this and this product, and it had to sit for a long time. It had to be bleached all over. And I got out of there the first time and I was completely yellow – but yellow like an egg.
E: Oh, shit!
W: And I… My mom dropped me off, and I texted her: “I’m done, will you come get me?” And I saw my mom approach and she just passed me by.
E: Oh wow.
W: She didn’t – she almost didn’t recognize me anymore. Like halfway - she was like – and then she was like: “Oh! Willem!” Like she hadn’t seen –
E: Oh shit.
W: That it was me. That I looked completely different. And then I arrived for another table read and Tom [Goris – director] was like: “Yeah… We’re not gonna go this route… This is too yellow.” So then I spent another 4 hours at the hairdresser. After that I had to be there for four hours almost every month. I did think it was cool to have bleached hair, but… You have to be at the hairdresser for so long, so that really wasn’t… my thing. I mean, I had some really cool moments with Mitch [Fabry – hair & make up wtFOCK]. Thanks, Mitch.
E: Would you ever dye your hair again?
W: Uhm.
E: Maybe another color?
W: Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m quite happy with my hair color, actually, I don’t know.
E: Alright.
W: Now it’s also like… Everyone always asks me: “So this is your natural hair color?”
E: Yeah.
W: And then I have to tell them: “Yeah.” And it’s like: “Oh, okay!” It’s this switch. But no, I’m happy with my hair. It’s fine.
17:03
E: I can also tell that you’ve got an earring? You can’t really tell on camera, but –
W: I’ll come a little closer [to the camera]. Yeah, I only got it recently, four weeks or something.
E: Yeah. Was it an impulsive, drunken decision, or something you wanted… for some time?
W: I’ve wanted it for a long time, but I was a little anxious about it like: “It’s not gonna look good on me,” and then after a while, a couple of months ago, I was like: “Fuck it, I’m just gonna do it.” And if it didn’t look good I could still just take it out, so it doesn’t really matter. But all in all I was pretty happy with it. My father, my parents – my mom: “Oh, so nice!!” And it was like – at first they give you a stud and then after four weeks you can change it to a hoop. And I really wanted a hoop, and I even asked the people in the (piercing) shop: “Can’t I please just get a hoop straight away?” And they were like: “No, sorry, it doesn’t work like that. For hygiene reasons that’s not okay.”
E: Okay.
W: But okay, so I had to wait four weeks and then eventually I could change it to the golden hoop. So I get home and the first thing my father said was: “Wow, you look like a douchebag.” That was the first thing out of his mouth, that I looked like a douchebag.
E: Is that the look you were going for?
W: No, not at all! Not at all!
E: I think it looks cool.
W: Thanks.
E: Cause a little while ago I wanted one, and so I put on my girlfriend’s earring – because even if your ear isn’t pierced it sticks a little –
W: Yeah.
E: And so I just put it on there for a day or something, and then I was like: “Okay, that’s quite enough.” I don’t know if I’d want it for longer than that. Recently I’ve been getting into rings and stuff though.
W: I wore rings for a long time, but I don’t have any anymore. I actually want – I like them too. But I have to –
18:47
E: If I’d known, I would’ve brought you a gift!
W: Go shopping. Goddamn!
E: I did bring you another gift though!
W: Another gift? Oei oei oei, gifts!
E: This is something I do every week,  I give my guest of the week something.
W: Oei oei oei. 
E: It’s just…
W: Do I just slide it –
E: There’s a little hatch over here, that you have to lift, and then you can just lift it like that. There we go.
W: There we go.
E: White hairspray.
W: If I’d want to go back to – there we have it. Too good.
E: It can be washed out really easily as well. So this way you don’t have to be at the hairdresser for like four hours. And then when you’re sick of it, you can just get rid of it again!
W: That was the thing… Thank you, by the way.
E: You’re very welcome.
W: Now I can go back – Now I can go back to my past life. No, that was the thing as well. People who – people who - after wtFOCK came online, people really recognized me with the white hair. I mean, it’s pretty noticeable, when I’m walking through Ghent station – if someone with bleached hair. I mean, if you watch the show, I can imagine that when you see someone with bleached hair, you immediately connect the two and think: “Oh, that could be him.” And then you run in to some people who ask for pictures. After that my hair was really short, cause the people from Déja-Vu were like: “We’re not gonna do this, just go back to your natural hair color.” So I cut it all off, and there was this time where… nobody came to talk to me anymore. I was able to just be myself again. It was as if – looking back on it, it was actually really nice that for wtFOCK I was able to completely get into a different character with different hair. And the first time I got rid of the hair I really noticed that was no longer being associated with the character.
E: Hannah Montana vibes! Your hair changes color and nobody knows who you are anymore.
W: “Who are you?”
E: “Who the fuck are you?!”
W: “Does anybody want to take pictures with me? It’s me! It’s me! I swear!”
E: “I’m that dude from wtFOCK! I’m that dude from wtFOCK!”
W: So if people don’t recognize me anymore I can just… *pshhht* in the morning.
E: Exactly! If you want to take some more pictures, you can just…
W: No, no. That’s fine. No, yeah.
E: It’s kind of crazy, actually. Because, honestly? The very first time I saw a flash of you, with this hair color, I also thought: “I recognize you from somewhere…” But I think I’d already gotten in contact with you through social [media] and I didn’t put two and two together that you…
W: Yeah.
E: “Aaah!”
W: “Aaah! You’re that guy!”
E: Yeah, so…
W: But that’s the whole thing. If someone recognizes me, which doesn’t happen that often by the way, it’s always – I think it’s funny to be like: “No, that’s not me.”
E: No.
W: People really start doubting themselves, it’s very: “Uhm, can I ask you a question? Are you that guy from wtFock?” “Me? No.”
E: “No!”
W: “That’s not me.” And people will often be like: “Oh? What? But I recognize you…” That doubt on their faces is pretty funny but yeah, then I tell them it’s me.
E: Just the reaction of someone being like: “Huh, do I know you from somewhere?” “Do you watch porn?”
W: The confrontation.
E: “Oh… qmdkjg.” And it’d be even better if the parents were right there as well. “Argh!”
W: “Yes, Jürgen, care to explain yourself, young man?”
E: No, it’s just funny to joke about. But you’ve never – Do you just get: “Hey, are you that guy from wtFOCK?” Or have people also asked you: “Do I know you from somewhere?” Or: “What do I know you from?”
W: Yeah, it depends. The thing is – I go to school in Ghent and when the [popular place where college students go out] was still open before Covid-19, not that I went there often because I didn’t really like it there –
E: No.
W: - in the sense that the combination of young people who –
E: Watch wtFOCK.
W: - watch wtFOCK and alcohol – and people who’ve had alcohol to drink –
E: And are horny?
W: - their limits or boundaries are just gone. “Oh my god!!! You’re that dude from wtFOCK!! Can I kiss you??” Things like that!
E: Oh, fuck!
W: And I was really like: “Okay…?” I’m just a regular dude and I’m trying – and I actually thought it was less annoying for myself, but I thought it was more disruptive for my friends. Like even when we were just walking down the street, we got recognized a couple of times, and I was just like: I just want to have fun with my friends, and not have to spend too much time thinking. That’s another thing I was subconsciously thinking about. Imagine I drink way too much.
E: Yeah.
W: And I end up in the gutter somewhere, and people start filming that… So yeah, that made… So because of that I spent more time in friends’ dorm rooms just having dorm parties.
E: And since your bleached hair is gone, have you gone to a party?
W: When my bleached hair was gone corona was already a thing so I haven’t been able to enjoy it. But it’s starting to come back [the parties] so that’s nice. I’m looking forward to… tomorrow I’m going-
E: Are you going as well?
W: Are you going to Plein Air by Fuse?
E: Tomorrow I’m going to Jaimie Lee who-
W: …Is going to DJ at three festivals.
E: Yeah at three festivals and I will be backstage I guess.
W: Okay.
E: One of those festivals?
W: Yeah I don’t know. I have tickets for Fuse Open Air in Brussels.
24:19
E: I honestly have no idea where I’m going. Anyway, I’m excited. And I always asked, what’s the first event you went to ever since it’s allowed? Did you go to We Can Dance festival?
W: No I was studying.
E: Was today your last exam or yesterday?
W: Yesterday was my last exam in the morning. I was stressing so much, because I thought I would fail, but eventually I think it went relatively well. If you’re watching professors, let me pass please. No I think it went well.
E: Are you someone who is stress resistant?
W: Uhh no.
E: No?
W: I let it take over my body.
E: You get physically unwell?
W: I will be laying in bed and I’m tossing and turning and sweating. And I think about how I’m not gonna pass tomorrow. And the combination with my worries is really not good. It makes me stay up really late. The thing is with stress resistant, I for example made my own play at high school about a kid with divorced parents for my final work and the whole audience was filled with my family and my parents. That’s pretty confronting to tell a story that’s also a little bit of their life and is pretty personal. I’m always stressed for things like that. Then it’s weird – from the first word I spoke I had a lot of stress and worries and the first sentence that I said was something like “I don’t know what to do”, and then it’s all of a sudden poofff. The train has left.
E: You said you didn’t really know what to do now.
W: That’s the first sentence of the text that I wrote and the moment I said that sentence I thought in my head “the train has left, there’s no way back now” and then the stress disappears automatically. But before the final rehearsal there was a moment that I was moving around heavily and I was throwing with chairs. And afterwards I had to pack moving boxes, which was okay. But from moving around and the combination of stress it made me almost gag in the box from the stress so I almost puked. So at these moments it gets pretty heavy.
E: Did other people notice or were you hiding it?
W: Yeah the final rehearsal was luckily not with an audience, but my teachers were like “Everything alright?” and I was like “Yeah I’m good. It’s a bit much”. But when it comes to stress, a lot of people always say – I’m even a little stressed right now actually.
E: Really?
W: Podcasts, oh no no.
E: Oh shit. You have to be (stressed)
W: A lot of pressure on my shoulder here. No, but a lot of people say that it doesn’t look like that I’m stressed even though I really am dying from all the stress.
E: Only now you can hide it really well. You should become an actor.
W: A lot of people have said that to me often, but it’s not my interest. Also not much work in the field.
E: That too, fuck. Are you someone who constantly pretends like you’re okay?
W: Yes.
E: Even when you have a lot of shit going on in your head and you’re processing other things?
W: I'm one person. One person?
E: "I'm one person" [laughs]
W: I am one person. No, but I'm someone who often keeps their stuff to themselves, so that I can listen to what others need.
28:15
E: That was my next question. You listen more to other people’s problems and you’re the person people come to with their problems?
W: I think, at least I hope, that a lot of my friends do know that they can always come to me for a talk or a phone call. I'm someone that will shove away their happiness for someone else, which isn’t always positive of course.
E: It is a beautiful characteristic, but it shouldn’t take over indeed.
W: In the past it has happened that I was falling apart, but I kept pushing it away, because I wanted to take care of someone else. I noticed this a lot during the divorce of my parents. My parents had a hard time with the divorce and I remember that I came home as a little boy and I saw my mom sitting and I felt the duty to comfort her and to be there for her, even though I was 8 or 9 years old. That’s not something you expect to do or think from an 8 year old. It really broke me and now I can openly speak about it, because I have had enough conversations with my parents about it, about how it was for me. And I made a play about it, as I told earlier, so it’s been a whole process and that has scarred me till at least my 16th. My parents got divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old. It took me a long time to open up because of that. I notice it a lot in previous relationships, that I walk away from fights, because I would find the confrontation too heavy to get into a fight and to discuss. The divorce and fights with my parents scarred me so hard that I didn’t want that again. I wanted everything to be rainbow and sunshine, but life doesn’t work like that. And that was partly a misconception from me, that I thought that a relationship had to be perfect, if there is a fight, then it’s not going well. Now I realize that fights are part of a relationship. And also part of steps you take into accepting each other, listening to each other and understanding each other. It’s needed for a stronger connection. You can’t, well you can, but in my eyes you can’t be with someone for a long time without ever having had a conflict. Even if it’s a discussion, because then you’re adapting too much to the other, and then you say okay, I’m adapting to the demands of her and I suppress my own things or things I want to do, only to avoid the discussion, and that’s something I learned. And that’s how everyone learns their own things along the way.
E: You still see it in the youth, those romantic movies, where everyone is so in love and it always ends with a kiss or something and it’s always good and then you think, this must be the case in real life. Why can’t I find Gabriella Montez for my Troy Bolton. Even though that was a shitty relationship too, they were constantly fighting. No, but that gives a wrong image about relationships and for other things because of movies. And the reality is just different.
32:16
W: Yes. I recently for the first time -this is kinda embarrassing because it’s a must see- watched The Notebook.
E: Me too! What did you think?
W: It has been a few weeks ago. Or a few weeks, maybe 3 or something.
E: I watched it last weekend.
W: I almost cried.
E: Really?
W: I’m a really emotional person. I can really cry. I can really get lost in a movie. “No not the puppy, why?!” Those things, where I think "Willem, act normal". But no it was a beautiful movie.
E: Yeah I have a different opinion, because I just fell asleep. I fell asleep, because it all went so slow, it started so slow. I didn’t even watch the kiss in the rain scene.
W: The moment. It’s in literally every romantic movie. In the rain, it happens everywhere.
Ender: Yeah mate, it’s such a cliché actually, but yeah.
W: I bet you that they’re just standing there with a garden hose.
E: Definitely.
W: It can’t be that they’re waiting, “is it gonna rain today? We need to do that scene now”.
33:27
E: Checking the rain alarm while everyone is inside. There are definitely sprinklers there. It’s in a lot of romantic movies. Now that we’re talking about it, the filming you did with wtFock, you sometimes had scenes outside. Here we have those (light) spots, I assume that you don’t carry them outside. How do you guys do that?
W: Sometimes we do have spots outside, but as long as the light from the sun is okay – with a binocular (telescope), well it’s not a binocular, it’s a round thing you can look through and with it they can determine the brightness of the sun and if the sun is too bright for the lightning they need, then it gets shielded, the same that is in front of your lamps. With that they can dim the lights. Or when there is not enough they use isomo plates, that’s really weird. Sometimes there are really intimate scenes in a series where it looks like it’s really close to the skin of the actors. There is a camera with a plate on it and a stick for the sound above it, it sometimes made it really hard for me to focus, because everyone is sitting there and the director and I’m like “yeah, okay okay”. So it takes a lot to get it all professional.
E: Was there a crazy moment where you forgot your lines? That you’re laying in bed and you’re like “which sentence do I have to say now?”
W: Yeah we’ve definitely had a lot of bloopers. Yeah forgetting lines or.. the thing is, as long as the director doesn’t say cut, you have to keep going. It’s a matter of "how do I improvise myself around this scene to get to the point we actually have to get to", because you have a scene and you have your lines, but if you forget something, then you do know the main lines of where the scene has to go to. You know the scene will end in a kiss or something and these subjects will be spoken about in the conversation, so when you forget your lines, you try to work your way through it as best as possible. And when the director says it wasn’t good, then we’ll do it again. I’ve had a lot of moments where I forgot my lines and I was laying in bed with Willem and we would look at each other and we’d know that I had to say something, but I was stuck, so there would be a 10 seconds silence, hoping for them to say cut. Yeah so those kinds of moments a lot or moments where I… I also had that with Déjà Vu. I remember… by the way it was amazing to work together with such big names as Natali Broods and Koen De Graeve. And Koen, lovely person, was kind of the father figure on set and we had a scene, next to the bed, a quite emotional scene. And the camera was focused on me, close up on my face. And I still remember that, the sound was going, everything, and Koen had just told a joke, or made a face that made me laugh. So, I had to laugh really hard, but I had to act very sad. It was an intense scene of goodbyes. All the time, starting to laugh about everything. I still remember for wtFock we made a video with bloopers and those are very fun to watch back.
37:03
E: Are those bloopers ever published somewhere online?
W: I don’t think so.
E: I think if you’d be able to release them somewhere that a lot of people would be interested in them.
W: Yes, yes. I don’t know why, indeed. The fans would be happy with those.
E: I think a lot of people- because we were just talking about your biggest fan.
W: My biggest-
E: Your grandma.
W: My grandma, yes. Big shout out to my grandma.
E: Do you think she’s watching right now?
W: She’ll definitely watch, I hope so.
E: What’s your grandma’s name?
W: Micheline.
E: Micheline, thank you very much for watching Micheline.
W: Micheline.
E: I appreciate it.
W: Women in power. She deserves a special place. No really, she follows all the fan accounts of wtFock. And then sometimes, or very often, we call and she gives me an update of what’s being said on the internet. Or yes, I also remember, when scenes come out and there’s things being said and she’s like "Willem, is that true, what are they saying?" And I say "Grandma, it’s nothing, it’s all from the show." "Ah okay, okay." So yes, very sweet grandma. She’s like the grandma where everything was allowed. I think that’s the same for everyone. At home, there are a lot of rules, and then you got to sleepover at your grandma’s and it was like: "Oh, I get to stay up later, and she made pudding for me." Her vanilla pudding-
E: That good?
W: Grandma, if you’re seeing this, please make some vanilla pudding when I visit.
E: Dude, everything’s falling out of my pocket.
W: You’re letting everything fall out of your pocket? Maybe you need to buy another pair of pants.
E: The chair is too comfortable that I’m kind of sinking in it, and now I constantly get-
W: The conversation’s too comfortable-
E: It’s just my phone, it’s vibrating, I think it just vibrated out of my pocket. So, silent, great. Eh, what were we talking about? About your grandma.
W: About my grandma.
38:46
E: Now, totally different subject. If you were a fish, what color fish would you be?
W: A fish?
E: Which color do you identify most with?
W: Eh.
E: And you’re a fish too of course.
W: Identify with which color. The thing is, I’m in the scouts. And in the Jins, that’s the last year before you become a leader, we were given a color totem, and the whole group decided on a color that fits you.
E: All right.
W: And mine was mango orange.
E: Wow, that’s cool.
W: Yeah, I thought it was cool too. And it means, if I have to think back, mango has quite a hard peel, relatively, but the fruit itself is quite soft. And that refers to my personality. I’m someone that lets people in fast, around me, but in the beginning, suspicion is a little strong, but kind of like, testing. Let’s say that. But once- From the outside I might look a bit hard. A lot of people say that when I have my straight face-
E: Resting bitch face.
W: That I’m angry. I was once told on the subway by a dude, and I was just listening to music, staring in the distance, and I think, suddenly a dude comes up to me, in French: "C’est quoi ton problème, heh, tu regardes come ça, c’est quoi ton problème." And I was like: "I’m sorry". Apparently, I was looking in his direction with my-
E: Bitch face.
W: Bitch face. He must have thought I was looking for problems. So yeah, that’s why the mango, a little hard on the outside, but once you get to know me better, a soft, sweet boy. So that’s why, orange. So, an orange fish then.
E: A little bit of Nemo vibes.
W: Yes, Nemo then. But let’s, what’s that theory. Did you hear that?
E: Theory?
W: About Nemo.
E: What’s the theory?
W: Haven’t you heard that? I keep seeing that online. I’m having a crisis. So the thing is, your childhood will get ruined.
E: Fuck man.
W: The thing is-
E: But there really are, no keep going, I have something I want to say afterwards.
W: The thing is, I’ve heard, that Nemo is Latin for nobody, and that the father is imagining that he still has an egg left, but that that fish doesn’t actually exist.
E: Oh fuck.
W: And that Dory joins him, and he sees, we’re actually not looking for anyone, but because he has memory issues, he constantly forgets that they’re not looking for anyone. So, they’re actually looking for nobody. And I saw that online and I was like.
E: Damn, so all the eggs are eaten, but he imagines that someone still has to be there.
W: Yes, something to keep living for.
E: Fuck man, that’s very brutal. That’s very fucked up.
W: Sorry to everyone for who Nemo is ruined now.
E: There’s a similar theory about Phineas and Ferb, and then Candice, their sister, is based on a true story about a girl that lost her brothers and still imagines that they're still doing stuff in the garden. And she keeps telling her mom: "Look, look, they are still here, they’re doing that." And that the mom says: "They’re not there." And that’s why she can never see that. You get it? Brutal right?
W: My whole childhood is ruined. Fucking hell.
E: That’s going to be the title of this podcast.
W: Childhood ruined.
E: We’re ruining your childhood.
42:17
W: We’re ruining your childhood. No but that’s good because, thankfully, I have a half-sister, but I say sister because I think half-sister is an ugly word, of seven years old. She thinks she’s 16. She’s a real diva.
E: Oh wow, okay.
W: She’s very, I’ll tell you a story later, but the thing is, I experience all those things with her again. In the beginning it was like, turning the tv on, Bumba, again. And I could secretly watch with her without feeling guilty. I was like, I’m watching Bumba and secretly I’m enjoying it, but sssh, I’m just watching it with my sister.
E: That exactly.
W: And now it’s Ketnet, like Hoodie, those series that she’s watching. And yes, I notice that because of all the technology today, she has an iPad, she’s on YouTube, she’s watching those self-made crafts.
E: 7 years old?
W: 7 years old, yes.
E: Wow.
W: She watches those- where people are playing with Barbies and they make a little play with them online on YouTube and they do stuff. Yes, a tablet. She has an iPad that’s bigger than her head. That makes me think- well, an iPad is usually bigger than everyone’s head. Or well, almost.
E: Not if you have a mini of course.
W: Her head isn’t that big.
E: Okay.
W: She’s on it a lot though. But she’s a real diva. I think the best story I have, there’s multiple. I remember the story, we were sitting at the table and she was having another moment of "I’m the princess, and everyone can leave because I do what I want and fuck you all". But the thing is, there’s five kids at home. I have a brother and two stepbrothers. So, she has four brothers, and she knows very well that she has four brothers. And that makes her feel even more like she’s the princess at home. So, we were sitting at the table. And she kept staring at my dad like this while throwing her cutlery on the ground. Like "what are you going to do". And my dad was like: "Liv," because her name is Liv by the way, "stop that."
E: That wasn’t nice of Liv. (Liv sounds the same as lief which means nice in Dutch.)
W: No. Not nice of-
E: Haha. Sorry.
W: Badam pam ts. Can’t we put that under here. Yes.
E: No, sorry, keep going.
W: So, he was like: "Liv, stop that, stop that." He started to get annoyed, because she kept going. "Liv, what is so hard to understand about no." And then it got silent at the table so I thought, okay, it’s done. The o.
E: Oh wow.
W: 7 years old and she drops that.
E: Oh wow.
W: And I thought, okay.
E: Damn bro.
W: The o. That she even dares to say that. Yeah, and she has those moments. She was sitting at the table, with her mask on, eating. So, she pulled her mask down to eat, and then she was chewing with her mask on. And then I asked: "Liv, why are you wearing your mask?" "Yes, you came back from Ghent, you’re not in my bubble."
E: Okay, okay.
W: So, then I said: "Okay, that’s fine." It’s crazy how that goes around among young children. Because my sister came back home from school crying once. And I asked her: ‘Liv, what’s wrong?’ "Yes, my friends didn’t let me play with them." So, I was like: "Why?" "Margot says I’m not allowed in her bubble."
E: Oh wow.
W: See, that’s becoming the new- we played with Pokémon cards on the playground and now it’s about playing games in bubbles because it’s so-
E: Damn.
W: Yes, you’re only allowed to have four people in your bubble so we don’t play with more than four.
E: Oh wow.
W: So I found that kind of crazy, or confronting that it made me think like, even at such a young age it has an impact. And I know that the-
E: That it leaves an impression.
W: Yes, and I know that my dad-
E: It’s sad that children have to think about it.
W: Yes, exactly.
E: Well, it’s not that- everyone should think about it of course.
W: Yes, yes, of course. It’s also that I know the way my dad feels about raising, that he tells Liv straight up about things that are happening in the world. He doesn’t make things seem nicer, or saying, eh, yes, no, but that’s- The classic story of how babies are made, with the cauliflowers, and what not.
E: I also just think-
W: How am I going to explain that to my kids?
E: If you don’t make it a taboo to start with, is it that bad? It’s just- it’s just. Oh well, that’s a whole other conversation.
W: Yes, no, definitely.
E: But straight up just telling what’s going on to your kids. I think I would prefer that to making up a story about the flowers and the bees.
W: Yes, yes.
E: Because the story about the flowers and the bees, I don’t even know how you actually- pollinating and stuff, is that what that means?
W: You do it like this, pollinating.
E: Yes, no, exactly.
W: Yes, but well, children, that’s still a long time from now.
E: Do you want kids, you think, later?
W: Yes, please.
E: Do you think you would be a good father?
W: I hope I would be a good father. Despite my parents’ divorce, I really do… I do look up to my parents. I’m proud of the way they raised me. So yeah if I would be a good father… sometimes, but maybe that’s the age, kids frustrate me. I’m a leader in the scouts for the Welpen and Welpen -great guys- but they can also be annoying and say “I’m not participating” and “that’s a stupid game, can we do something else?” and I’m like “we invest so much time in this and so much preparation, please participate” so sometimes that bothers me. But I would prefer not to have just one (child). Certainly more than one because… are you an only child?
E: No I have a little brother.
W: Yeah only child… with all due respect to people who are only children but sometimes I think… for example, I’m very happy that I have a brother. Not that it wouldn’t be fun without a brother per se, but I don’t know, the contact I have with my brother is nice.
E: The thing is, you don’t know what you’re missing so it’s hard to miss it I guess. But I do think that my brother has been a great added value to my life.
W: Yeah, yeah.
E: In the same way, I never really had grandparents. They all died before I was born and the grandfather I did have was quite old when I was actually aware that I had a grandfather. So I’ve never really had the grandparents experience that you see with family gatherings and stuff. But I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything but I still know how much other people benefit from having grandparents. Also what you just said about how often you call each other and stuff. I think that’s the same with being an only child. If you don’t have any brothers or sisters, you don’t know what it’s like to have that, what you’re missing. But if you do have it, it’s an added value I think.
W: Yes, exactly. No that’s true. My brother is very helpful to me now. I know that I can count on him.
E: Older or younger by the way?
W: Older.
E: A lot older?
W: 21.
E: 21.
W: Oh boy I had to think about how old my brother is. Embarrassing. Love you man. No but we had - maybe you had that too – but when we were younger, we really fought.
E: Physical?
W: Real fighting. Yeah, it’s has now gotten much better. I think we understand each other a lot better, but it used to be real… we had Catch WW on the Wii and we reenacted that on the couch so that was… “In the right corner Ramy Stereo” and we were bare-chested and both had one boxing glove on and fighting each other until one of us cried, bled or gave up. Usually it was me.
E: That’s just the fate of the little brother.
W: I always went… I’ve never admitted that actually, [whispers] it’s a confession. I’ve never admitted it, but afterwards I always went to my parents and cried “Kwinten hurt me”.
E: That’s really… that’s the moment, you feel it coming and you think “ah fuck no, if I hit again it’s probably over but I want to…” [cross-talk] “no no no don’t tell mom! Don’t tell mom!” I think I was a pretty nice big brother. We often did shit together. We were at home playing on the couch together and Olaf bumps into a large box that was standing there and the box, bigger than Olaf back then, fell down on his hand.
W: Oh shit.
E: So Olaf broke his hand. And I thought “I made him jump over those chairs” and then you have to say “sorry sorry don’t tell them, don’t tell them!” but yeah if your hand is fucking broken, you’re not gonna stop crying because your big brother says “don’t cry”. Yeah, that are…
W: Yes, but the relationship [between Willem and his brother] has improved. Okay we still have our discussions but... I think moments like when we’ve both been to a pub or something and we come home at the same time and we’re always hungry and standing in the kitchen making sandwiches. Those are great moments. I don’t necessarily need to have emotionally heavy of deep conversations with my brother to know that he’s there and that I can have a good time with him. So I think that’s the added value of having a brother or brothers in general.
E: Do you guys also have a specific sense of humor? Or like those moments when the two of you are laughing and your parents or people around you think “what the fuck is going on?”
W: Yeah we speak some slang to each other for fun. Like “stu stu” and [my slang knowledge is very limited so I have no idea what he’s saying here lol], those kinds of things. Typical slang from Brussels and Leuven. It’s funny because my parents are always like “why are you talking to each other like that?” and recently, I was leaving and my mom said “stu stu!” so they are adopting those words and then my brother and I can’t stop laughing.
E: Also if your mom suddenly says “are we going to chill later?” and I’m like [laughing] “what? Mom!”
W: “Okay??”
E: It’s kind of cute. Yeah it’s fun. And what are… I almost want to go deep like…
W: That’s okay.
E: Is there a particular interaction or experience you’ve had with your brother that sums up your relationship right now? Or are those the moments when you’re laughing and eating at night? It doesn’t have to be a super deep or emotional moment.
W: I think it’s an accumulation of those moments and emotional moments too. For example, after it was over with my ex. I was really down back then, it hit me pretty hard. Those are the moments when I can walk into my brother’s room in the middle of the night and he’s there for me. I know that dude is always going to be there when something’s wrong, no matter how much we argue or how much we shit at each other. I just know, and I hope he does too, that I can call him 24/7, walk into his room 24/7 and he will be there or ready to listen. I think that’s just something… the fact that we know that about each other, that creates that bond. And the thing is, if only he would do his best and go to work, earn real money… because we went on holiday together and he still hasn’t… he still has some work to do but we’ve already planned something. I’m really looking forward to it. We’re planning to go surfing in Portugal together. Those are moments I just know I can go somewhere with him and have the time of my life without-
E: …That you can remember for the rest of your life what you did together.
W: Yeah, absolutely. Those moments that I want to cherish or want to keep or experience.
E: My little brother is also just the most annoying dude on this planet who I love the most.
W: Exactly that combination. Annoying, but you love them.
E: Of course. The cameras are back on. That means we’ve been at it for over 50 minutes.
W: 50 minutes? It feels like we’re chatting for 20 minutes.
E: Exactly.
W: Pleasant.
E: That’s good. If it’s pleasant and the stress is gone.
W: Do you actually like me? “No I hate you. We’re going to finish. It has been good.”
55:29
E: No we’re not going to finish yet, but before we do, is there anything you’d like to send out into the world before we finish? On average there are 10 to 50 people watching. Is there anything you want to say to them?
W: To the 10 to 50 people?
E: Yes.
W: 10 to 50 people, you are awesome. No, what I’m saying… maybe a little deep but it doesn’t matter. Very often in your life you are going to encounter that you run into a wall, that you’re going to have setbacks, that you think “I don’t want to anymore, I can’t to this anymore, life is all one big shit show” but I think that there is a certain… at least I believe that – everyone has their own opinion of course- that a certain path has been mapped out for everyone. Not necessarily that things are set in stone but there is a road that you are going to take and that road is going to have curves, is going to have hills, is going to have valleys, is going to have everything. Maybe it’s a gravel path, maybe rocks you stumble over but -it sounds a bit stupid- put on your best walking shoes and just walk that path the best way you can. Just try to live life with complete joy and euphoria because you’re 100% worth it. No matter what other people say or think about your ideology or style or way of life. Everyone is entitled to it or should be given the opportunity to be appreciated for who they are. I think that’s something we do too little in this society, but yeah.
E: Just don’t be too hard on yourself in the end?
W: Yeah, don’t be too hard on yourself. A lot of people blame themselves too much. Or “oh I’m like that and I don’t fit in because of that” or something. Then I think: so be it.
E: Do you sometimes feel that you should do more or have achieved more at this age? Of course you’re already doing a lot of cool shit but social media, I know there is a highlight reel of all people’s achievements and that sometimes it’s very difficult to filter between what is real and how much is that person actually sitting on the couch doing nothing. Do you sometimes feel that because of social media of because of your environment or I don’t know, that you’re not doing enough?
W: Gosh, sometimes I think my life is too full.
E: Too full?
W: Not that I’m saying “oh I have so many things to do” but I’m like... I’m letting that grow organically or so.
E: Not putting too much pressure on yourself?
W: Not putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m doing a course now that I’d like to finish because I’ve had those two projects and there are friends of mine who say “why are you still studying? You’ve had your opportunity, you’re going to get new opportunities right?” and I say “hey! I’m also only 19”. Sometimes I think “fuck Willem you should have achieved more already” but I also think I’m only 19. There was a conversation at school… I really think that’s one of the added values of the course. We receive an observation report twice a year, 5 pages where the teacher writes about you and how they see you, what they think about you, what your qualities are, what you still need to work on. It’s always spot on. So strange how they can just see right through you, even though I sometimes try to hide it. Yeah, where was I going with this… we had subsequent conversation about it and I said to my teacher “sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this course” that I have too little life experience. There are people in my class who are in their 20s or older, who have already studied something else before this, have read a lot more, seen a lot more than me, a lot more experience and I think “fuck, I don’t have anything”. People talk about certain topics and I don’t follow at all. I mentioned that I felt too young and she [the teacher] said “you’re young, but that also has its advantages. Your youthfulness can actually be an interesting tool in this course and look at it from a different perspective”. So I’m convinced: don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t think “whew, I’m already 20 and I haven’t achieved anything yet” so to speak. I even saw a video recently where… “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you might make it in your 30s and if you don’t make it in your 30s, you might make it in your 40s”. There are so many… there really are a lot of people… people often forget that there are people who only find out what they want to do or discover their passion later in life.
E: And also just… I think it’s so ridiculous that you set certain goals for a certain age or something. That it’s so expected that by 18 you must have completed high school and by 25 you must have had your first job interview, by 28/30 you must have a house and a serious relationship where you’re committed to for the rest of your life and by 40 you must have already had a promotion, that you can provide for yourself and fix your pension. All those fucking predetermined milestones. I think that’s kind of bullshit, you know?
W: Absolutely.
E: If that were the case, then I should graduate in a few years so to speak while I’m clearly not studying here because I have – fuck normally I have a re-exam today. And here we are.
W: Here we are.
E: I knew I was doing this but I mean that’s just… there’s so much time. I’m 22 now and I’m doing some shit, if I go nuts now or people don’t want to listen to this podcast anymore, don’t want to see what I do online, okay then I have to look elsewhere. But I did this and I went for it and I tried. I’m 22. Even if I go nuts now and it’s all gone, I’m only 22. There are still so many ways it could go. A lot of people don’t have a job at 22. If I started looking for a new job or something now, hopefully I’ll have one by 25. Then it’s still okay because I’m only 25. I don’t know, I always find that… I could go on for a long time about this. I think those predetermined milestones/goals of things that you must have achieved by a certain age, I just think it’s bullshit.
W: I sometimes make the comparison that people too often see life as the sports world. Football players who are good until 35 and then they are done. As if you must have already performed before that age. That’s not how it works. You really have all the time and you really don’t have to stress. I also notice that many people… you mentioned re-exams. That people say “fuck I have re-exams, oh no I’m not going to pass, oh no you have extra…” chill. You do your best, but suppose you have to repeat a year, that’s not a disaster either, is it?
E: What I also think is crazy is how many people have studied law and you eventually hear that they ended up in a marketing agency because they found it much more interesting. When I talk to some people who… I was seeing a social media manager recently [laughs] “seeing”, I was talking to him.
W: “seeing” okay [laughs].
E: I was talking to him.
W: [joking] Ender has something to say.
E: And I asked “what did you study?” and he said biochemistry. “How the fuck did you end up here?” Him: “uh yeah that just wasn’t the right fit for me. I have a master’s degree but I started working here because I found it much more interesting”. I thought: why am I pretending that the degree I’m trying to get is going to determine the rest of my life, you know?
W: Absolutely.
E: If there are so many people now… because he was only 28 or something. So I thought “aah okay so you’ve been studying biochemistry for so many years and now you’re here – I don’t know if I’m talking about the correct position – but now you’re just sitting here making content. Cool. But why do I attach so much importance to that one direction I’m studying right now that doesn’t even have anything to do with media or anything. I mean I’m very interested in media, I’m studying economics. Which is also interesting, but that’s not what I see myself doing in the coming years.
W: Yeah, yeah.
E: Anyway enough about me. Do you think you could win in a fight against a cow?
W: [laughs] I really like that. You can switch to totally different shit like that. Like before you suddenly asked what color fish do you want to be. Okay. That’s nice. Win… I’ve heard if you knock over a cow it dies. That it has a heart attack then. We don’t want to kill cows okay!
E: And purely hypothetical, you’re just standing in a kind of meadow so it’s not super big so you can’t go in all directions. There is a limited domain. You come face to face with that cow and you have to begin. No weapons. You’re standing there and the cow stands there and you both know you’re going to fight.
W: It knows that too?
E: It knows that too.
W: [makes mooing noises] okay ca va.
E: It’s not a bull but it does have horns so in fact it would-
W: I would shit my pants. I’d give up already. I would lie on the ground, come on. Really crazy, I saw Jackass recently. Those guys, that Wee Man, who was in that link with the bull and he’s being catapulted, so to speak.
E: I don’t understand how those guys aren’t all dead yet.
W: Yeah they are really crazy.
E: There was also a rumor that Wee Man died from a bowling ball during… but apparently that wasn’t true.
W: I don’t know.
E: Fucked up shit. Would you win against a cow?
W: Would I win against a cow? No, I wouldn’t win against a cow. I don’t think I would win against a cow.
E: I think I would. I think just like with a bull I would try to jump out of the way like that and once you’re on the side it’s just a matter of pushing. If what you said is true, it’s game over when it’s down and you know, that’s your tactic.
W: But the thing is, a cow is heavy, isn’t it?
E: True.
W: You can’t just push it over like that, can you?
E: Sure, but it’s a matter of life or death, isn’t it? The adrenaline rush. You have to image, a cow just comes running towards you. The adrenaline that goes through your body. You shouldn’t underestimate the power you have then.
W: Just find the best patch of grass and when it’s there, sneaky knife in the back. No, now people are going to think I’m that kind of person.
E: That you’re just a snake.
W: Snake. Definitely and I admit it. No, that would be fucked up.
E: I’m going to do one more thing that’s important. I’m going to find a Twitter shout out and in the meantime, I already asked you what your message is to the world and that was a beautiful message. Got something more banal that you’d like to share? Something that you want to share from your social media or something?
W: What do you mean from social media?
E: Where they can follow you. You can say something if you have a really good video that you want to share. “Check me everywhere”.
W: No I don’t have… people should do what they feel like doing. Do you think I’m cool, do you think I’m fun, follow me on Insta. No really doesn’t matter. Doesn’t really matter.
E: Alright, I’m just going to scroll and you say stop. I’ll go back and forth and you have to say “yes that’s the one who gets to have this week’s shout out”.
W: Exciting huh. Stop.
E: [reads twitter account] M. Verschuren.
W: M. Verscheure.
E: Is that…
W: [reads quote] “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”.
E: Wow. Damn bro.
W: I’m going to edit my quote.
E: “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”. Wow. If you didn’t have shitty days, you wouldn’t know what the best days of your life were.
W: Exactly. But what if you get stuck in your shitty days for the rest of your life?
E: That won’t happen. That’s my biggest fear.
W: Me too.
E: Looking back at your life and thinking-
W: …Fuck I’ve never been there again.
E: …That’s where I peeked. Hope that doesn’t happen. Anyway M. Verscheure thank you very much for listening, I really appreciate it. You as well, I think?
W: Absolutely, absolutely. How much were you going to pay me?
E: 50 euro.
W: Then I’ll come… awesome. Super cool.
E: Thank you so much to everyone who listened. I appreciate it. If you want to hear more you can always subscribe to this channel. It’s also good for my ego. I’ll just put your Instagram link in the description, for people who are interested. Okay, that was it.
W: Thanks, it was fun.
E: There’s an audio only episode on Spotify every Sunday and the video comes out on Monday. That’s it. See you next Monday. Or Sunday. Peace.
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levis-pink-tea · 3 years
Text
Traitor
Chapter 1
summery: after training to inherit the female titan you decided to go through with running away from Malrey but when Reiner wont go with you you decide to go alone.
You never thought about leaving Marley, at least not by yourself. Reiner was supposed to go with you; that was always the plan until now. 
As the rain picked up, so did your sobs. "Reiner please you promised me you'd go with me" you cried holding on to both his hands. He was so cold but not from the rain that you both were standing in but he was simply a cold person at the moment. 
"Stop being like this Y/n.. you know I can't go with you" he pulled his cold hands out of your small warm ones. If you were near any house he knew your sobs could be heard by everyone. 
You couldn't understand why he was being like this. He promised so long ago that you'd go together. "You promised!" You shouted at him as you wiped away your tears. "You said you'd go with me, Reiner what changed?!" 
The silence that followed your question was so beyond painful. You knew why he wouldn’t go right? “Y/n'' he paused for a moment as he questioned how to say this without hurting you any further. “I’m inheriting the armored titan, that's a really big deal. I can’t go with you, I need to be here with my family” He said as he turned and began to walk away. “Even though I want to I can’t” you couldn’t hear the last part even if he wanted you to.
Your tears began to stream down your cold cheeks again. “Renier please I’m supposed to get the female titan. Why does it matter if you get the armored!!” you paused to see if he'd respond. “Reiner please..We're supposed to go together..” you choked out as you tried to stop the tears. You only began to cry harder when he kept walking. “Fine!! I’ll go alone then!” You screamed at him before running back to your home. 
He didn’t believe you’d actually run away but you did. A week later when Reiner was walking past your home to go see Annie and Bertholdt he heard your mother screaming your name and a young Colt Grice trying to help find you. “Colt what’s going on?” he asked the small boy.
The young boy looked up to the taller boy with tears running down his cheeks “They haven’t been able to find Y/n since yesterday” he cooked out between sobs.  Colt loved you. You always babysat him so in his eyes you were like a sister.
Reiner pulled the young boy into a tight hug. “Hey hey it’s okay they’ll find her she’ll be alright” he whispered to the boy as he carried him to your mother. You actually left Marley. God he hoped you’d be okay. “Hey what’s going on?” he asked your mother.
“She’s gone Reiner! My daughters gone tell me you know where she is” your mother wished he knew or that he would tell her. “One of our Warriors is gone, one that you love, tell me where she is please.” She broke down in tears as she held on tightly to one of your coats.
“I don’t know where she is, I'm sorry…” he said as he dried colt tears trying to ignore his own that were starting to slip. He did know he just couldn’t tell anyone that's the least he could do after not going with you. If they found out you snuck on a Marley ship they might have killed you. He didn’t even know if you were alive. 
A few days later the Marley ship you had snuck on landed and you found your way to the walls. Having grown up in Marley and trained to be a titan shifter you knew how to survive in the unfamiliar land. It took you three days to reach the walls. You were dehydrated, starving and hurt when you collapsed outside the walls. to your luck you collapsed when titans were not active and the survey corp was getting back from an expedition. 
“Erwin Levi come here!” You heard a voice call from beside you. You were too weak to open your eyes or move much but you could tell it was a woman's voice.“Look, a kid made it outside the walls!”
You heard the sound of two people landing close to you. “She's extremely hurt. We should take her to Grisha and look for her family.” said one of the men. He sounded older than the women and much more serious. “Levi come here” he said as you forced yourself to open your eyes just a little all you could see were the wings on their backs. Those wings brought you hope and made you feel safe. Maybe it was those three voices as well but the sight of the wings brought you hope.
“Lets just take her to Grisha. I doubt she has parents considering she's outside the walls. We would have been told if any parent lost their child that knew how to escape.” the other man said. You felt thick arms pick up your small body “she's probably really young maybe 10” that was the last thing you heard before pain and tiredness took over you. 
Hours later you began to wake up slowly. When you had been brought to Grisha Yeager you had a lot of injuries. You were dehydrated, had a sprained ankle, a broken rib and a few cuts that needed stitches. As you began to wake up you felt the pain from the rib that you had broken but also how dizzy you were from the dehydration and hunger. 
“Y/N don’t” a voice said from across the room. It was a familiar voice but one you haven't heard in years. The man brought over a bowl and a glass of water for you. “What were you thinking coming here”
You opened your eyes slowly. You didn't recognize the dimly lit room you found yourself in. you looked around for a moment before your eyes settled on the man that was standing a little far from you. It took a moment for your vision to focus but as it did you were able to make out the features of the man “doctor Yeager?” your voice was weak and scratchy. You were very little when you met the doctor but your home back in Marley had many photos in it and a few were of you and Grisha when you were a baby. You had few memories of him but knew his voice.
He helped you sit up and handed you the cup of water. “I'm surprised you know who I am. What are you doing here? Do you have the other shifters with you?’ he asked, trying not to overwhelm you with questions but god he had so many. He knew you, Reiner, Bertholdt and Marcel were going to be inheriting titans so he was confused as to why only one of you was there and why so early. 
You looked away and stared at your bruised hands “it's just me. I don't have a titan either. I ran away but no one would go with me.” the thought if Reiner betraying you like he did hurt so much. It felt like having your heart ripped out. 
Grisha sighed and handed you the bowl “here eat something. Well you didn't surfer anything too bad. You'll be all healed up in a month or so. Did you bring anything with you?” you shook your head no “okay that's fine i'll get you some clothes from Mikasa. Why'd you leave marley though” 
You couldn't remember why you wanted to run away but you knew you did want to. “I didn't want to be some weapon to the people who turned my dad into a titan. I didn't want to die young” you felt tears fall down your cheeks and whipped them away. You took a bite of the food he had given you in hopes of it preventing your sobs from slipping past your lips. You missed your friends and your mom so much now.
“Do you know who saved you today?”
You paused for a moment and started to remember those blue and white wings. “The people with the blue and white wings on their backs right?” the wings on the back of the capes they wore was the only thing you really remembered about them but those wings saved you. 
“Yes, the wings of freedom. They are part of the survey corps. If you stay here, I want you to join them” he said as he put away bandages and everything he used to heal you. “Those wings are something i hope to see on your back soon to”
“Dad, the scouts are back!” a young boy yelled down to his father. 
Grisha wrapped a blanket around your shoulders “okay thank you Eren will you and Mikasa come keep her company while i speak to them? And have her bring some spare cloths”  he said walking to the door and letting the two children in to the room “i'll be back” 
After he walked away a young girl with long black hair handed you a neatly folded stack of clothes. “Here” she said as she walked to the young boy with brown hair. You said thank you quietly and changed when they walked out of the room to let you change.
Upstairs grisha greeted the three scouts who brought you to him. “Is there any chance you can water her doctor Yeager? '' Erwin asked. They didn't know anyone who wanted a child. It was another mouth to feed and most of the people around Shiganshina didn't want to deal with that. 
“I can't take her. I'm sorry Erwin but can i in trust her to the scouts? She's a strong child who obviously spent days beyond the walls and only the four of us know that but she's clearly very smart and she could be a good scout.” Grisha asked the three in front of him.
Levi sighed, shaking his head “We're soldiers not babysitters. How are we going to care for a child?” he asked. He was already annoyed that this was happening; he didn't want to care for a child. No one in the scouts did.
“I'll do what I can to care for her and I'll even pay for her food for a while but my condition is that she joins the scouts early. She could be a good asset.” Grisha said looking at Hange and Erwin hoping they'd agree with him. 
“Well I think we should do it not any child can survive beyond the walls. She's obviously a strong child. She can help me study titans!” Hange said and Erwin and Levi knew that sparkle she had in her eyes. There was no backing out now. They four agreed that by the time you were 12 that you'd be joining the scouts way earlier than anyone. 
When you came from the room you were met by three soldiers, two men and one woman. “Hello Y/n I'm Hange Zoe, these are my friends Erwin and Levi!” she chirped pointing to the blonde and then then the shorter man with black hair. “Um hi” you said to the three. “So tell me Y/n how'd you get out of the walls?” Hange asked as she walked with you to their horses.
What were you supposed to tell her? That you're from another island and get yourself killed? “I don't really remember it's all foggy.” you said not making eye contact so none of them knew the truth. “I only remember the three of you saving me”
“That's alright you were very weak when we found you.” the tall blonde said giving you a soft smile. His voice and smile brought you a lot of comfort as well.
All the way back to headquarters you talked Hange and rode on the back of her horse. Every Once in a while Erwin would chime in and talk to you as well. He was surprised you survived so long beyond the walls after a while you looked over  to the shorter man and whisper to Hange “is he okay he seems mad” you asked tightening your hold on her waist. “Oh he's fine, that's just his face” she said trying not to laugh “watch it four eyes” Levi said shooting her a mean scare. You couldn't really tell if they were friends or enemies. 
A few months later you were at the scout headquarters training when wall Maria fell. When you were told the news it felt like your heart had dropped to your stomach. You hoped Eren, Mikasa and Carla were alright. They were your dearest friends.  The scouts had just returned from outside the walls. You weren't allowed to go with them so you were stuck at headquarters wondering if your beloved friends were alright. Erwin seemed so distant that day but he was like that anytime they had lost that many scouts but the fact he couldn't help those beyond wall rose hurt as well.
That night you overheard someone from the garrison describing what the titans looked like and how strong they were.  It wasn't hard for you to figure out it was your dear friends Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt and Marcel. It made you sick thinking you were supposed  to be part of that mission. You tried to hide your sobs as you walked back to your room but Hange heard you like she always did and brought in hers and tried to comfort you the best she could without asking questions. It was easier not to ask sometimes when it came to you.
You got persimmon from the commander to go look for your friends the next day and when you did you soon learned that Carla was eaten by a titan and Eren watched. Armin and Mikasa had survived with very minor injuries. You couldn't imagine that but at the same time you could. Your father was turned into a titan when you were a baby but you couldn't remember that. Your pain wasn't like the pain Eren was feeling; it was very different.
Over the next two years you finished training,went on missions with the scouts, and helped Hange study titans. She and Erwin kept you by their sides constantly. You helped Erwin with plans quite a lot and you helped Hange do research. When it came to Levi most of the time you two spent around one another was training, helping him clean or trying to assist with plans.The three of them were like your parents. You had thought that you'd have to actively try to avoid those you knew from Marley but you found yourself busy enough that you didn't need to actively avoid them.
It had been two years since the fall of Wall Maria and it was Eren, Mikasa, and Armin's first day in training. “Shatas is just going to try and intimidate you so don't take it personally okay guys?” you said fixing your jacket and shirt. “He won't intimate me. I doubt he's that scary.” `Eren said. “Oh Eren, you're in for a treat”you said. You heard Shatas yell your name and you waved goodbye to your three friends and ran off to him. Erwin asked you to help with training today since he and Hange didn't have anything for you to do. 
“Why'd she get to join early? Isn't she the same age as us?” Armin asked as he walked beside his two friends. “I know she's told me before but I still don't understand.”
“I think she said it was special orders from commander Erwin, '' Mikasa said, moving her hair behind her. You were the youngest scout out there and one of the strongest too. The three of them took their spaces in the line up as did everyone else. You and shatas walked over to the group as he began his grilling introductions of everyone. He really was rough on the recruits. You winced a little when he headbutted Jeans and when you saw Connie salute wrong.  Shatas shouted your name “what did Springer do wrong?” he asked loudly. You fixed your poster and did the same salute “he did the salute on the wrong side sir your heart isn't on your right side” you said before looking over to some of the recruits. “Be more like that young scout Springer” he said walking to the next person.”
A familiar pair of brown eyes found their way where you stood. You had gotten taller since the last time he had seen you your hair had changed quite a bit too. All he could think about was how beautiful you looked. You could feel the pair of eyes staring daggers into you and looked over to where it felt like the person was. Your eyes meet his brown ones. Reiner was the last person you wanted to see. He shouldn't even be standing in those spots. Annine and Bertholdt shouldn't be with him either yet here they are. One staring at you and the other two looking straight ahead at Shatas.  You looked away from Reiner as fast as possible. You felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest from how anxious you were. 
“Y/n make sure that Kirstein and Springer aren't hurt” 
“Yes sir”  You walked over to the two boys as he began to grill a girl who was eating a potato. You'd find out that night her name was Sasha. You helped Jean up first “is your head okay?” you asked as you checked the small lump that was now growing on his head. Jean nodded and tried not to stare at you as you helped Connie up. “What about you are you okay?” Connie nodded “yeah i'm good that just hurt a little.”
“I'm Y/n. I'm in the scout regiment. If you have any questions or anything, ask me. I'm a lot nicer than Shatas'' you whispered the last part to the two boys and walked back to your spot after you checked on Armin. 
After Shatas had pretty much grilled everyone Reiner had realized he finally had the chance to talk to you after these past few years. He began to walk towards you. Bertholdt had tried to tell him not to, Annie wanted to try and stop him but it wasn't her business but she had to admit she missed you too so maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea to let Reiner talk to you. As he began to approach you a woman called out your name “Y/n!! I've come to steal you back for a little while”
You laughed a little, “Hi Hange, does the commander need me?” you asked as you walked to her, completely passing Reiner not giving him a chance to speak to you. You didn't want to talk anyways, you were still processing that he was there and that those three killed half of humanity. After you had seen them you had guessed Marcel didn't make it. 
“Actually both me and the commander need you for a moment” Hange said as you waved goodbye to Eren and Armin. You walked with Hange and said goodbye to Shatas. She sure did seem to have good timing. You didn't know if you would be able to keep your cool with Reiner. You had spotted him out of the corner of your eye.
You did the best you could to avoid him after he joined the cadets. Being a scout you didn't really have to try all that hard you were either on expeditions or you were helping the captains or the commander. When you had free time you were with your friends. You'd cut Mikasa's hair for her, do what you could to help Eren get stronger and sometimes you could be found reading with Armin. Being friends with those three meant you made friends with some of the other cadets like Connie, Sasha, Jean and Marco. Sometimes you'd cut Connie's hair or you'd train with Jean and show him some really beautiful spots. When you were found with Jean Marco was there too.
After about six months Bertholdt tried to talk to you again when he found you walking around one day with someone from the scouts. “You should talk to him, maybe you guys could patch things up” Bertholdt said as he handed you some of an apple he cut up. The two of you were sitting somewhere out of sight but not too far away so that you could watch the sunset. 
You shrugged a little and took the apple slices “I don't want to talk to him right now. I still can't forgive him” you said, looking up at the sky. You always loved the sun sets in Paradis. They were far more beautiful than the ones in marley. “Talking to you is hard to but him it seems impossible to talk to him.”
Berhtoldt knew you didn't forgive Reiner. You made that very clear by how you acted when you ran into the cadets and ignored the three of them. It was just better that way for now. You still loved the tall blonde deeply but how can you forgive someone for what he did? As a child you always held promises close to your heart so when reiner refused to go with you that was one of the worst acts of betrayal.
 “At least keep talking to me okay.”
You nodded, taking another apple slice from the boy “okay but don't tell Reiner I'm not ready for that yet.”
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qslovebot · 3 years
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Midnight Escapade: Spencer Reid
Summary: Spencer Reid and the reader have been crushing on each other since they met, but neither of them cared to admit it. When doubled up in a hotel room for the night, reader tries to convince Spencer to go with her at 12:30am to get frozen yogurt to cheer him up and it turns into much more than a snack run.
Pairing: Spencer x Fem!Reader
Warnings/Includes: Swearing, mutual pining (a long time of pining leads up to this fic), food, mention of Sept 11, 2001, self-doubt, fluff, kissing
Word Count: 4533
The case was solved, closed, and finally, your eyes could rest. The case you had just finished was particularly stressful to not only you, but your fellow BAU members as well. You all hadn't slept for nearly twenty-nine hours and Hotch decided it was best you all got the rest you deserved at a nearby hotel.
The ride there, you struggled to keep your eyes open, but Spencer Reid was on another greatly interesting rant about a show he liked, so you figured you would try to stay awake to hear it. You always listened to him because a lot of the time, the rest of the team dismissed him and his oddly accurate monologues. They grew tired of Spencer talking so much about things they didn't understand but you were rather the opposite- and that's probably because you liked Spencer so much.
The two of you met when he was introduced to the BAU. Praised for his mind, he introduced himself to you with a shaky voice and a meek handshake. You instantly admired him from his geeky personality outwards to his tall, thin self with a face sculpted by artists. Little did you know he did the same, but immediately thought of you as out of his league, so he stayed quiet.
You had been friends since then, pairing up on cases as your minds seemed to work like a perfectly oiled machine when together. Like Penelope and Derek, you two were known for the science jokes no one understood and shared looks of adoration that the both of you somehow didn't recognize as romantic. But everyone else saw it.
Derek Morgan teased a lot. He talked to Reid about working with the 'pretty girl' every day, poking him in the side and messing with his hair. The geek and the girl who was smart as hell, but didn't make it her dominant trait.
A doctor and the outgoing agent who matched the loudness of Penelope Garcia at times at karaoke night. You brought more liveliness to the BAU- more music, more spinning, more levity in dark cases. Spencer was always trying to hide a smile when you walked in, trying to pretend he hadn't been waiting for you to bring him coffee each morning. You didn't need an eidetic memory to remember his order and that, for some reason, always sent him over the moon.
But you were here now, listening to him wrap up his story as you fought the sleep that was looming over you as the car came to a stop outside the hotel.
"-And that was the end of it all. I think it's so fascinating how they wrapped everything up into this intricate timeline of interactions and moments and backtracks. We should, uh, watch it sometime." He said as he hopped out of the back, holding his small bag and yours.
You sleepily hopped out after him, hoping you didn't look like you felt, because you truly felt like hell. "Yeah, I'd like that," was all you could really mumble out. He passed you your bag and you smiled your thank you.
Emily held you up by the shoulders as Hotch sent through the check-in information. "Some case, huh?" She laughed as you rubbed your left eye. "I suppose we can't make this a girl's night of post-case celebration if you're dead asleep."
You groaned, "You wanted to do that? Damn it, Em, I'm sorry-"
"You need beauty sleep, (Y/N). I'm not mad or anything, I'll just take a bath and pull out an adult romance novel." A smirk played on her lips as she raised her eyebrows. You chuckled tiredly. "Seriously, no worries."
"Did I hear talk of a romance novel?" Derek shuffled over. "Which one are we reading? 50 Shades of Grey?"
Spencer stepped in, "Did you know that 50 Shades of Grey is actually fanfiction written about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga? If you go further back, Stephanie started Twilight as written alternate universe fanfiction where the emo-slash-hardcore band My Chemical Romance were all vampires. But My Chemical Romance was started by musician and comic book creator- who published a series of comics called The Umbrella Academy in 2008, unrelated, his name was - Gerard Way, who created the band to make music that expressed the trauma he was given from witnessing the twin towers falling on September 11th, 2001."
Emily looked at him, jaw open. "So Nine-Eleven essentially created a badly-written and toxic sex novel, years later?"
Spencer nodded, eyes flickering to you for a brief moment. Derek grinned at Emily, "So you have read 50 Shades of Grey, huh?" He teased. She swat at his wiggly fingers away as Hotch walked over, brow furrowed.
"Rooms need to be doubled up tonight. Morgan, you can come with me. As much as you may hate it, I feel like (Y/L/N) here might collapse on the spot, so we can't go anywhere else." He handed Spencer and Emily a key, expecting them to make their own choices. Of course, Emily knew exactly what she needed to do when Hotch walked off. You were about to turn and go with her, but she bolted off, reaching for JJ.
You looked up at Spencer Reid who had his mouth in a shy, straight-lipped smile. You both knew what this meant, but you were glad you'd get to crash somewhere, floor or not. The room was on the fifth floor, so you took the elevator with Spencer in silence that you were sure he was granting you until you reached the door of your room.
"I will... take the floor tonight," he said, sticking the key in the lock. "You're tired and I'm just going to get dinner and um... read."
His watch read 4:34 pm- it was so much earlier than you had thought, but you were almost collapsing. "I'm sorry," were the last words you could reply with before you walked into the room, got into the bed, and you were out, cold.
You had never had such a fulfilling sleep. You woke up feeling clean, fresh, renewed and restored. There was no groggy feeling that you had accidentally travelled to another dimension while asleep. The room was dim, except for the lamp that was on in the right corner.
When you peered over the edge of the bed, there was Spencer, laying on his stomach with few pillows under his chest and elbows, a book in his hands. He looked peaceful, quiet, calm. "Spence," you whispered. He practically jumped out of his skin and you couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my god, I'm sorry." You grinned.
He smiled sheepishly, setting down his book. "You're awake."
You nodded back, "How long was I out?"
"Since 4:34, so... 8 hours and 20 minutes. It's only 12:22am." Spencer sat up and against the wall while you adjusted yourself to sit cross-legged. You were still in your clothes from earlier and it surprised you to see Spencer in less preppy clothing.
Well, less preppy for him. No cardigan, no dress shirt, just a t-shirt that read 'math is as easy as pi' with the pi symbol made of cherry pie and his regular khaki pants. "Aren't you tired?" you asked, smiling from his shirt, back to him.
"No, uh, I actually got about four hours in the middle of your eight. I usually don't dream anymore but I actually dreamt I was falling, which is a sign of..." he stopped himself, but he was with another profiler, what was the use, you could already fill in the blanks. He continued, "Which is a sign of insecurity and inferiority, but I don't believe in dream analysis..."
You furrowed your brow, watching his eyes look down at his hands. "Are you feeling insecure and inferior, Dr.Reid, because need I remind you that 99% of the time, it's your brain that leads us to solve the cases."
He shook his head, "Thinking myself over, I'd-I'd say it doesn't revolve around work." The stutter was back. He hadn't talked to you with a stutter in months, you'd assumed it was just because he wasn't as comfortable around you then, but now it was back. Spencer Reid needed to be cheered up, something was wrong.
"Well you know you can tell me anything, right? I've kept secrets about my friends since grade one, I can keep yours." You slipped off of the bed and walked to your bag on the table in the far corner. You could feel Spencer's eyes on you as you went, so you shot him a smile over your shoulder. He reverted back to looking at his hands.
Through situations and being friends, you knew Spencer was insecure. He was bullied constantly as a child, some going as far as to strip him down and beat him. Disgusting, self-esteem-ruining acts you wished you could remove from his eidetic memory.
You took off your button-up blouse to stay in your white t-shirt that lay underneath. You hadn't the time to remove it before falling asleep. Thinking about that- you probably had bedhead too. Your balled-up shirt was shoved into your bag and you pulled out a brush in exchange, to get the knots out of your hair.
"I could really go for frozen yogurt right now," you said, running the wooden brush through your hair. Spencer narrowed his eyes at you, a little confused. "I haven't eaten dinner."
"It's nearly 12:30 am..." Spencer said. It looked like he was running through his vast mind to find a scientific explanation as to why you might have wanted frozen yogurt at half-past midnight. You let him, a teasing smile on your lips as you pulled the top bit of your hair up. "Are you pregnant?" He asked, out of the blue, entirely serious. Seemed like the only logical explanation he could find. You nearly choked on the air.
"No, Spencer, I am not pregnant!" You laughed. His face tightened as he went back to searching his mind. "I just want frozen yogurt. Regular cravings, not... pregnancy cravings. Are you coming?"
He looked at you, oddly surprised he was invited. "Why?"
"Why not?" You picked up his jacket from the hook and tossed it to him. "Nobody has to see your cheesy math shirt."
He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck, but went right back to being analytical, a mumbling rant with hand gestures.
"The average half-cup serving of frozen yogurt alone has about 17.3 grams of sugar and plus various toppings, the sugar is upped to at least 25 grams. But, versus a half-cup serving of vanilla ice cream, the sugar is only about 14 grams and with toppings can be upped to about 22. Fat-wise-"
You interrupted him because this was seemingly the only way to lift his mood and he was making excuses to stay here and wallow. "Come on, for once, let's be able to act like the youngest members of the team. Once, Spence. I don't need a play-by-play on how much sugar is in it- though I did find that interesting-I just want frozen yogurt and I would like you to come with me. I'll pay for yours if you want any, just... please?"
He met your eyes with a curl falling down his forehead and quickly looked back at his hands. You'd been friends for nearly a year and four months and he still couldn't look you in the eyes for long. He really wasn't good at refusing you at all, either.
Spencer nodded and you practically beamed. Maybe this would help to take his mind off of what was bothering him, even if the distraction was brief. You jumped on the spot and slipped on your own jacket and grabbed your wallet, ready to go and by the door.
He had a small smile when the two of you stepped out, his hands behind his back. You locked the door behind you and the two of you walked silently to the elevator, careful not to accidentally wake anyone else in case they decided to peer out into the hall.
In the elevator, you turned and looked up at Spencer who was fiddling with his hands. "You look nervous, Spence. It's frozen yogurt, not a pretty girl."
"Well I'm with-" he stopped himself again and actually started laughing his breathy laugh, squeezing his own hand so hard his knuckles turned white while his cheeks and nose went a little pink. "You..." He finished, rocking on his heels.
You scrunched your nose, shaking your head. Though you mentally disagreed with him sometimes on your appearance, you smiled and looked back up at him. "Thank you. You're pretty too."
He shrugged himself further into his jacket, hands still wildly fidgeting. "Thank you..."
You both stepped out of the elevator the moment it got to the ground floor, looking for air that wasn't filled with odd tension neither of you could explain. You two walked through the lobby and into the cool midnight air outside, where things were open, dark, and still.
You shut your eyes for a moment and opened your arms to face the gentle, cool wind that blew your hair and hit your face gently. Inhaling deeply, you opened your eyes again to Spencer in a similar state, but much less relaxed looking. Instead, it looked like he was trying to calm himself down.
"Spence, you look out of it," you said, folding your arms over your chest. You had gotten him outside, now maybe instead of distracting him from whatever it was, you could help him through it. It was part of being a friend- profiling wasn't needed to see he was thinking long and hard over something that bothered him. "You can tell me what's wrong."
He started walking down the street toward the neon lights that shone bright with the word 'fro-yo', you stepped quickly to follow. "If I like a girl.. h-how am I supposed to go about telling her?" He asked, not even looking at you. His forehead was creased and his hands in his jacket pockets.
So this was about a girl he liked. Spencer Reid had a crush. Of course, you were oblivious it was you, but Spencer Reid was romantically interested in someone!
Yay?
An odd feeling of happiness came with finding this out and there was an uprising feeling within you like the first drop on a rollercoaster, but it lingered... and it was much less happy. You ignored it, of course, letting your outer emotions display themselves.
"Dr. Spencer Reid, the human encyclopedia- have you finally found a girl that puts you at a loss for words?" You teased, pressing the back of your hand to your head for dramatic effect, struggling to keep up with him.
His mouth twitched, "Maybe."
"Well, to be honest, Spence, just... tell her. Just go at it- ask to kiss her, maybe, then confess after. Or... or, you could confess, see how she takes it, then you can see if you should or shouldn't kiss her based off of if you get rejected or not." You told him, catching him by the shoulder to get him to slow down at the entrance of the frozen yogurt place.
He was much taller than you, so that came with him being that much faster, but that didn't matter now, he had stopped. Spencer looked at you, concern in his eyes, panic. You smiled kindly, "She won't reject you. I don't know any girl who would even think of it." Reassurance, because he needed it.
His eyes trailed to the ground and he ran a hand through his hair, opening the door for you. "And w-what do I say?" Spencer asked when you both went inside. You were the only two there and the cashier must have been in the back room.
You hopped over to the flavours, "I mean, whatever feels right, Spence. If you feel like going on a long, romantic, poet-written rant about how much you like her, do that. If you're afraid to bore her, you can wait for her to speak, but the truth is if she can't listen to you rant, she probably isn't worth going for."
He evaluated your words while you casually got yourself vanilla frozen yogurt. He also scanned the flavours, probably mentally shaming the company for marketing this as somewhat healthier. You giggled watching him try to figure out how to get the yogurt out of the machine as you put raspberries in yours.
"(Y/N), uh..." he said quietly, gesturing you over. The genius's mind was scrambled enough to miss the lever in front of him. You took his cup from him and pulled the lever, to which he made an 'o' shape with his mouth and nodded comprehensively.
"Chocolate mocha," you smiled, handing it to him as he stood there sheepishly again. "Good choice."
You spun back to your yogurt, adding a bit of honey over the top of it all. He followed, choosing raspberries as well, silently adding them. He still didn't seem at rest with the girl thing, you noticed by the way he was failing to open the scoop-box of cookie crumbs. He had long fingers, usually nimble ones, but not so much right now. Spencer was too stressed to work properly. Error in the system, you may have joked if things weren't so bad with him.
When you were both finished, Spencer tapped the little service bell on the desk and a little woman, maybe mid-30s came out wearing the merchandise of the shop. You both placed your cups on the scale and she weighed them for the price, but both you and Spencer pulled out your wallets.
He put his card out faster, so you swat his hand with your card and paid while he mumbled "Ow..." Of course, you checked to see if he was really hurt, but he had his small, crooked smile back on his face. He was okay, maybe he was feeling better?
Saying good morning/night to the lady, you both stepped back into the midnight air, starting to walk, but not back toward the hotel. You'd think with what cases you two had worked on you'd be a little warier, but with each other, you both felt safe. You walked a few steps, eating your yogurt, before Spencer spoke up again. "Is it a bad thing I'm so clueless as to what women like? Everything I know about women is scientific. Chocolate releases endorphins, flowers are associated with beauty and love, but... other than that... I don't know anything."
You swallowed your bite as Reid took his, waiting on your answer. Just as you always listened to him, he always listened to you. He probably valued your opinion over Derek's at times. You waved your spoon in the air when you spoke, "I wouldn't say bad. Everyone starts somewhere for everything. If anything, a man who is willing to learn is more attractive than one who wings it and doesn't ask comprehensive questions to up the relationship quality."
"Asking questions, got it. Should my confession include a gesture, though?" He spoke with his mouth full. Spencer really wanted to get this right- it was admirable. But there came that uneasy feeling again. It was more like an ache this time. Perhaps it was the awkward hours of sleep throwing you off?
You sucked it up, shoved the feeling down. "Really, Spence, it depends on the woman. Do I know her? Maybe I can help- that is unless you want to profile her to get her interests? I can help with that too-"
"No, I-I don't want to profile her, I want to stay away from that, we do that on a near-daily basis."
"We?" You questioned. Reid froze, but kept walking, looking a little petrified. He put more frozen yogurt in his mouth, maybe to shut himself up. You grinned, "We as in you and her are both profilers or we as in you and I profile others together, so you don't want to profile her with me?"
"I don't want us... to profile her," he cleared his throat. "Yeah..."
You sighed with a breathy laugh, "Good, because I was starting to think you were after Emily."
He chuckled, "Oh, no, not Emily. She's too scary for me anyway. Uh..." He swallowed hard, the way he always did was he was anxious or nervous. I saw in his face he'd come to some sort of conclusion. "Don't... don't yell at me for this, alright?"
"Yell at you? Spence, I wouldn't..." You were confused. He set his frozen yogurt down on the bench he had stopped in front of and stood back in front of you, pushing his hair behind his ears. He looked at you with his doe eyes and the wind blew his curls back in front of his face, he looked to the ground. His forehead still creased between his brows, but his eyes were soft and sweet, his nose was slightly scrunched and his mouth was twisted to the side as if he was once again mentally calculating something. You granted him back the silence from earlier, wondering what was going on in that mind of his. That was... until his eyes met yours and he looked so desperately lost and longing and like he ached inside... and you no longer wondered.
You let out another long sigh. She was you.
This girl that he was trying to understand how to win over, she was you. He asked you because he needed to know what you wanted. He was nervous because he was practically confessing to you and you, a profiler, were too blind to see that.
He watched your face for your reaction, waiting for something good, but you were too shocked to react right. He unfroze, hands flying to the roots of his hair and he spun away from you. He started rambling, obviously thinking everything had gone wrong. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, (Y/N). That- that wasn't how I had things planned and I was so certain that maybe you-hm- liked me too."
His words made it true. This was, in fact, happening at 12:56am in the middle of a foreign city. Your words spilled out, stern, focused, serious. "Kiss me then."
He spun around again, "What?"
"Confess, then kiss, remember?" You recounted carefully, looking directly at him, stepping closer.
"But I didn't get to do my whole monologue thing-" He was grinning pretty hard now, all signs of stress removed from his face. He looked brighter than the neon froyo sign, in happiness and disbelief right down at you. You were pretty sure you looked similar as all the pieces fell in place in your mind. It all fit.
"I don't care." You beamed back. "Do it after."
So without wasting another second, he grabbed your face and kissed you. He kissed you with a year and four months' worth of frustration, lust, confusion and past jealousies. His hands holding your jaw, his fingertips in your hair and your hands on his chest, holding fast to jacket. The kiss was a little messy the first two seconds, but every second after it was enjoyable and sweet and oddly powerful. He also tasted rich, like chocolate mocha, but you knew where that came from.
He pulled away first, which surprised you, but he didn't move very far, in fact, he mumbled against your lips as he tucked your hair out of your face. "I think I've liked you since you and I first met. You didn't hate my science jokes and instead of being annoyed with my informational rants, you listened to me. I wasn't expecting you to be so involved with me since you're, well... you're you and you're loud and fun and sweet and beautiful, but we worked so well together how could I ignore what I felt?"
His hand was a little shaky still, but his fingertips on your cheek were gentle. He continued to quietly ramble, "I decided maybe I'd do something with myself that wasn't devoted to the BAU so I thought maybe I'd- I'd tell you this. That I think you're beautiful and smart and talented and maybe you'd understand and feel the same way and now that I know maybe you do, I feel oddly put back to how I'm supposed to be. And... I think I'm supposed to be with you. If this is too soon or... ruins our friendship, I'm sorry and I'll slow it down, but I won't stop liking you."
You couldn't believe that in a three-minute span you had gone from painfully oblivious to so extremely wide awake. But it was in the best way possible after a year and four months of you also being painfully crushed by your secret feelings for Dr.Reid.
"It's fine, Spence," you said quietly, smiling at him with the most happiness you had found in months. "More than fine, I can't believe this is real."
He tucked the other side of your hair behind your ear, "You might have DRC, then. It stands for dream-reality confusion and is a difficulty or inability to determine whether an event or experience occurred during the waking state or whether it was part of a dream. I can assure you that you aren't dreami-"
You reached up and pulled him onto your lips by the back of the neck, smiling into it. This would be the first time you've ever shut him up. He welcomed it by kissing you back again, softer this time. Now that he was sure you wouldn't hate him for it, it felt a lot more natural, a lot more at ease. His passion was still there, as was yours, but this was how things were supposed to be. There was no longer a rush.
The two of you started laughing after it all. Both of you laughed at how painfully oblivious you both were and he went on a small explanation as to why we don't see our own tells and how feelings of romantic relation cloud the judgement. You went over every time the rest of the team had made a comment you both secretly loved or some you dismissed because it was an ache to hear.
Spencer opened up about his fear of rejection and you did the same and that too resulted in more laughing because here you were, so afraid, but you had both been in it for so long. You deserved to have each other after all this time not only because you fit, but because everyone saw it too, far before either of you did.
An innocent, fun, midnight escapade to cheer Spencer up turned into him finding a truly happy state of mind. You took that as a win and success as you tossed frozen yogurt containers in the garbage and found your way back to your room where you told Spencer it was okay to sleep in the bed as long as he was nice.
So he let you turn out the lights and lay next to him, your head on his chest in the way you had done before when it was only an achingly platonic move. He played with your hair, stared at the green walls, ranted about the history of the colour green and soon after, the both of you went right back to sleep, entirely happy.
Tagged: @ellyhotchner @softhairedhotch
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dovenymph · 3 years
Text
a film by peter parker
authors note: this was inspired by another thinkerpete tweet that read "peter probably watches the bit from "a film by peter parker" where he's in the car with tony over and over when he misses him" and@peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology’s summer of love prompt list💛💛 also the video edit was made by me so please do not screen record/save and repost it even if you do credit me (also this is unedited so sorry for any typos, i’ll probably go through it sometime this week, i just wanted to post it first)
prompts used: 2. making the backyard/rooftop into a movie theater
my masterlist
warnings: mentions of tony’s death, other than that, nothing but fluff
word count: 3.9k
Peter hated the summer.
Peter hated not having anything to busy himself with; no homework, or academic decathlon, or seeing Ned everyday who could wrap him up in his graphic novel fan theories or the drama in his on and off relationship with Betty. It was petty drama and minor stimulation, but it was something to distract him momentarily. But now Ned was in Aruba with his parents for the entire month which meant Peter had to suffer through the scorching heat of Juy all by himself.
Peter knew he didn’t have to be alone each day, -Aunt May had spent many dinners trying to get him to join her at the movies or the mall, even offering to let him have free reign of the lego store (when he said no to that, she knew he was in worse shape than she thought)- he had a handful of trustworthy and dependable friends he could hang out with for the afternoon like MJ and Betty, or even Flash who had been uncharacteristically nice to Peter ever since he found out he was Spiderman; this having happened only a few weeks after Tony had died and Peter had let him in on his secret to console a sobbing Eugene who, honestly, seemed to be more broken up about the news than Peter was. But even with his expanding friend group, Peter had found the most his body could endure was the contents of his bedroom.
He tried to get back out there after Tony’s passing, he really did, but at the first Iron Man tribute he admired on patrol, his body completely shut down and he swung back home, tears dampening the material of the mask.
So a lonely summer was what Peter submitted himself too, and he’s come to terms with it. He’s rewatched his favorite old shows, started binging some new ones. He’s taken apart and put together his lego death star four times now, each time faster than the last. But he’s been particularly fond of staring out the window. His apartment complex was quite close to the building besides his and he could look down into the backyard everyone had to share. Peter’s building had one as well, but since he was pretty sure he was the only person under 35 who lived there, it went unused.
Next door, there was always a different activity occurring in order for the patrons to beat the heat, and Peter often thought about how easy it would be for him to just go downstairs and introduce himself, and ask to join. It’d really be as simple as that and he’d meet some new people, get a free lunch and a chance to swim in the plastic pool they set up; maybe they’d laugh at his jokes and clap when he did flips, but it was all just a maybe, just in his imagination because his brain never let him wander to far before squandering the idea of getting close to someone again, for if history has taught Peter anything, it's that anything he gets close to, is not meant to stay for long and will be soon snatched away from him in the cruelest of ways.
And this thought is what resigns him to slink back behind his window and pout the day away, as he was doing now, vision blurring as he stared at nothing.
“Hey!”
Peter jumped, his eyes focusing on the target of whoever pelted his window and they landed on your form, slumped against your open windowsill, chin resting on your hand as you gazed back at him.
“Can I help you?” Peter bit back after lifting his window half way, his tone unconsciously laced with annoyance. He really didn’t even notice it anymore since that’s how he’s been speaking to everyone in his life for months now, but when you flinched at his tone, guilt started to creep up his spine.
Before he could ever begin to stumble out an apology, you cut him off “Yeah, is there a reason you stare into my room everyday?”
Peter's face flushed red and he opened and closed his mouth like a fish. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had spoken so bluntly towards him, and honestly, he liked it. He was getting tired of everyone walking on tiptoes around him, he just wanted things to go back to how they were, where he was just Peter Parker, your friendly neighborhood student.
“Or could you at least give me some money for some curtains if you just can’t give up the beautiful view of a concrete wall?”
“S-sorry, I- I didn’t even know you were there.”
Lie.
Peter knew you were there, he always knew when you were there.
Peter Parker isn’t a stalker, though! Sure, he’s gone through some fucked up shit on Earth and in space, so yeah, he wouldn’t call himself the most …sane person he knows, but he really wasn’t a creep. With your buildings being so close and your rooms directly across from one anothers, he was bound to notice you at some point.
And at some point he did. It was the first day of summer and Midtown let out at 12 instead of 3 to mark the occasion, so Peter had been mulling about in his room for quite some time already, thinking about how he heard all his classmates amazing summer plans and how the farthest he was going to go was probably the Thai restaurant down the street, and even that was a maybe. Peter sulked in silence until a couple hours later he heard a door slam closed, thumps from things being tossed on the ground, and a loud groan as he peeked through his windowsill at you who was currently flopped on the bed, window wide open without a care, scrolling on your phone.
At first, he was taken aback by your beauty, a small, small feeling of intrigue spiked his system, but it flew under the radar due to the seemingly everlasting dread that’s been weighing down on Peter's shoulders for months. But he couldn’t look away. You’d been doing nothing but looking at tiktoks mindlessly, occasionally cracking a half smile if a video was particularly amusing, but you still remained cemented to your mattress with no plans on moving anytime soon.
This brought comfort to Peter as he fished his phone out from the bottom of his bag and pulled up Ned’s messages and started to look through the media he sent him, almost two months worth of funny memes and videos that he hadn’t been bothered to look at, and he sat there along with you, aimlessly letting the time pass by. He enjoyed it, knowing he wasn’t really alone in his lazy and distracting behaviors because the pretty neighbor girl was doing just the same.
Ever since then, he’s just been …aware… of your coming and goings. He figured you had a summer job as every other day you were gone for a few hours, a solid shift. But on the days you were home, you also spent it mainly up in your room, every now and then, playing music from your record player, and if he was really lucky, you’d, unknowingly, give him a private concert as you sung out whichever niall horan or ariana grande song struck your fancy that day. He grew quite fond of the music, having added some of the regulars to his own playlist. And he enjoyed knowing you were right there, and he was right here; each of you living your lives, as uneventful as they may be, but you were together in some sort of way.
He’d never spoken to you, the ability of being able to just push his window up and call out to you at any time was what he liked, and each day he thought he’d do it but chickened out, and now it seemed like he’d have to make introductions whether he was ready or not.
“Mmm, right, so you haven’t seen me change or anything like that?” You asked and the content of your question and the inquisitive tone brought a flush to his cheeks.
“N-no! Of course not! I-I’d never do that, why would I even want to look at you? I mean! I don’t think you’re ugly or anything I… I just…”
Peter’s ramblings were cut off with your laugh as it bounced off the summer air and into his room. You were fully leaning out your open window now, and Peter had found himself in the same position, as if he was drawn to you.
“I was only joking with ya, but it's still nice to have the confirmation. I’m Y/N, your neighbor! Obviously.” You trailed off at the end, knowing that information was unnecessary since the boy next door obviously already knew that.
He was like no boy you’d ever seen before, only read about in books. He had a sweet disposition and inviting brown eyes that matched his soft chestnut hair. But he was built like a man, a strong jaw and strong arms. You’d seen him leaving his building everyday on your way to school, and when he’d get dropped off in a big black SUV during the late hours of the night, but he walked in the opposite direction or darted inside so fast,you never really got a chance to take him in.
“…Peter?” His tentative tone snapped you out of your daze and you realized he was introducing himself.
“Sorry, Peter! I- I… got distracted… by your… death star!” You let out, eyes focusing on the black and grey figure resting on his bed.
Peter felt his cheeks heat up as he moved to push it to the ground.
“That’s pretty cool! I finished the star wars series last summer.”
Peter’s eyes snapped up to yours and the friendly smile you were giving him along with the genuine interest in your tone seemed to break something inside him, snapped the band of hesitation that wrapped around his heart. “You did? For the first time?”
“Yeah! I know I’m like super late, but there’s like nine movies!”
Your laughs melded into one as you leaned out your respective windows and began talking about your favorite movie series. Peter was aware that this was unnatural for him. He had been more open to this stranger in the past few minutes than he had to his own Aunt in months and the same guilt from earlier crept up on him. But Peter was having a good time talking to you and he felt his insides turn in excitement when he realized you really had no idea who he was. He had a clean slate with you and he could make any first impression he wanted, well he hoped your first impression of him wasn’t that he was a peeping pervert, but we move, as MJ would say.
You were about to start telling Peter about this new dystopian novel you began reading when you heard a woman call out to him.
“Oh, that’s my Aunt May. She must be home from work. I- I should go say hello.” He explained, a sad look crossing his face that you didn’t quite understand.
You felt your own sadness wash over you, though. You didn’t want to stop talking to Peter either. “Yeah, of course!”
“But we can talk tomorrow right?” Peter asked, his tone laced with uncertainty.
“Oh well, I work double tomorrow… so I probably won’t be home ‘til late.” You said and the way the brown haired boys face visibly fell felt like a punch in the gut and you were scrambling for a reason to make him smile.
“B-but hey! I also get paid tomorrow so if you want, you can come over on saturday and we can have a movie night and we can order a shit ton of take out?”
“Come over to your place?” Peter asked, and he felt himsef involuntarily tense at the idea of leaving his room for the first time in weeks. It was safe in his room. But the pleading look on your face and hopefulness in your tone encouraged him to take the chance.
“I’d love to y/n.” Peter said with a soft smile and you smiled back shyly at him before closing your window and making your way out your room, making sure you were safe in the hall, away from his prying eyes to do a little happy dance.
Peter was unable to wipe the grin off his face as he walked out his room to greet his Aunt.
She heard his feet padding down the hall as she was setting out dinner, “Sorry its not ready yet, Petey, today’s been crazy, but I’ll get started now.” She rushed. Recently, she’s been hoping food’s the key to lift her poor nephews spirits, so each night she’ll either order or make something more fattening, cheesy, and delicious than the last.
“It’s alright May,” Peter let out easily as he turned the counter and placed a kiss on her cheek, “why don’t you let me cook tonight?”
May’s jaw dropped and she blinked a couple times. She could barely get two words out of Peter recently, and they were always either a meak thank you for dinner or an it was good when she asked about his day. She felt her eyes tear up at the slight sliver of her old Petey back.
“O-oh, really, you wanna cook?”
Peter ducked his head down at the ingredients in front of him to avoid looking in her eyes, his heart dropping at the glossiness that overtook them. He truly hadn’t realized how closed off he’d been. “Well, how about we do it together?” He began and the face splitting grin that spread across May’s face was all he needed to know he was taking a step in the right direction.
“G-good idea, honey. Can’t have the house burn down, can we?”
“Hey!”
May laughed and kissed Peter’s head as they began winding through the kitchen, making casual conversation. It was just like the old days, May thought. Before the wave of devastation drowned Peter as he lost a father figure, once again.
“So what did you do today, P? Do you know when Ned get’s back? I’m sure you’re both excited to see each other.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, I am. I don’t know when he get’s back actually, but that’s okay-“
“I know you like your peace and quiet, I really do, but I do think it’ll be good for you to get out of the apartment for a little bit, see if Michelle is available. Oh! Or maybe that Lisa, Liz! I liked Liz, see if she’s available-“
“May! Its okay. I don’t need to hang out with Liz Allen,” Peter grumbled, “I- I made a new friend actually.”
May looked over at Peter in confusion since he hadn’t gone out or had anyone over in weeks, that she could remember; and Peter took her silence as an opportunity to continue.
“The neighbor.”
“Mrs. Wozniak?”
“No! Y/n, she lives in the next building over. And my room is right across from hers. We’re gonna hang out on saturday.”
“Oh?” May raised her brows at her nephew and bit back a smile, much to Peter’s chagrin. “Is she pretty?”
“And that’s relevant why?”
“I don’t know!!” May drawled and Peter just rolled his eyes and kept chopping the vegetables in front of him, the blush adorning his cheeks refusing to go down as he thought yes, yes she is.
.・゜゜・  ・゜゜・.
You yanked the door open as soon as you heard Peter’s knocks against it. He jumped back a bit, his arm still partially raised from when he knocked and you silently berated yourself for being so eager, but the spreading smile across his face made you feel not so bad.
“Oh, sorry, I was just-“
“It’s alright.” Peter replied with a soft smile, and you let yourself trace the golden flecks in his eyes before he cleared his throat, once again, snapping you out of a daze. You seemed to be in a dreamy state around him alot.
“Can I come in? I brought my Star Wars DVD collection by the way, I know you’ve seen them, but this one has the director's cut which I thought totally changed the course of the first trilogy!” Peter explained, rocking on the balls of his feet in excitement.
You bit your lip at the sight, his cuteness was rubbing off on you. “Yeah, that sounds great, but actually we aren’t gonna be watching in here.” You said, grabbing the bag of Chinese food and snacks and stepping out.
Peter’s face sputtered as you both walked to the stairs. He’d spent all day building up his courage to just go six feet from his building, there was no way he’d be able to go around the city with you for the fear of seeing something that’ll remind him of the avengers or crime.
“Y’alright?” You asked, noticing Peter’s stony silence as you walked down the last flight and made your way to the back gate.
“Yeah, sorry, I guess I’m just nervous. I haven’t really hung out with anyone new in a while, well, with anyone at all really.”
You smiled in sympathy, “I get you, I haven’t either. All my friends are out of town, so I’ve mostly just hung out in my room, too.”
“But you already knew that, don’t ya stalker?”
Peter rolled his eyes and shoved your arm as you laughed, glad you got his nerves out of his system. You unlocked the gate and lef Peter to the back garden.
“Woah..” Peter let out. There was a large white sheet hung up between two trees, and a projector set up on the table behind where a blanket lay, covered in a mess of pillows. The setting sun lit up by strung lightbulbs.
“You like? I figured since we both seemed to be home bodies, we could have the fun of the movie theatre, but here!”
Peter felt his heart swell at your words. You’d only known him for two days, and you already treated him with so much consideration and kindness. “I- I love it, y/n. This is amazing.”
He saw how you tucked your cheek into your shoulder in bashfulness and felt his spirits raise even higher. You were adorable.
“I’m glad you like it. I hope the projector works though, it took me forever to translate the instructions.”
Peter walked over to it and gave it a once over. “It seems fine to me, but I can always look at it if you want.”
“Oh yeah? You good with tech?”
“Good enough to get by. I needed it a lot while working with Mr. Stark” Peter began, forgetting that he wasn’t talking to an old friend.
“You worked with Tony Stark?!?”
“Oh.. oh yeah, only for a little! I was an intern.” He said quietly, beating himself up for even bringing up the topic of Tony. The last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of a pretty girl.
“Wow, that must’ve been amazing. You, you must miss him a lot then, huh?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled lifelessly. “Yeah I do.”
“But no matter, we’re here to have a good time right?”
“Yeah, yeah we are!” You grasped his hand and gave him a sympathetic squeeze -neither of you blind to the sparks that shot from the place your hands met- and got settled on the blanket.
Two and a half moves later, the sun had set and the two of you were sitting in the darkness, the only light coming from the flickering of the projector as the abandoned movie played. You and Peter were sitting cross legged, facing each other as he told you another story about working with the Avengers.
“Yeah, it was so crazy!! We were in this airport and he went from being like two inches tall to two hundred feet, it blew my mind. But it was okay though, because I had this idea-“
“Wait, wait, wait. You were there? Why?” You asked, loving every adventure filled anecdote he told you, but it wasn’t all adding up. For just an intern, he seemed incredibly close to Mr. Stark himself, but then again, you’d only known him for less than a week and you also wanted to go everywhere with him.
Peter worried his lip, thinking about how he could worm his way out of this one. Why would a teenage intern be at the Avengers civil war? He figured he could lie, or even just run away and buy black out curtains. Maybe he could convince Aunt May to switch rooms with him even. But you’d already brought so much light to his life in multiple aspects, and he thought, just maybe, you’d be able to bring light to that aspect of his life too.
“You know what, lemme just show you! Wait here, I’ll be back!”
Peter ran back down, his Chewbacca flash drive in hand, adrenaline running through his veins. He plugged it into your laptop and dug up a folder he hadn’t touched in almost eight months.
“What’s this?” You asked as he sat back down next to you.
“You’ll see.” He said, eyes glued to the screen in front of him.
A Film by Peter Parker, read the title as a compilation of videos featuring Peter, Happy, Aunt May, the Avengers, and Tony projected before you both.
Peter heard you gasp as the camera flashed to the suit, and saw, from the corner of his eye, how your head snapped towards his as he backspringed across the battleground. The film continued and neither of you could tear your eyes from the screen. Peter felt his eyes well up with tears as a scene with him and Tony talking to the camera began and he thought that watching this was a bad idea and he was about to turn around and turn it off when he felt your fingers intertwine with his.
He sucked in a sharp breath at the warmth you brought him and he squeezed back, his brain nearly malfunctioning at the speed in which he tried to memorize the feel of your hand in his. But his senses were overloaded as he picked up on your accelerated heartbeat.
The two of you continued to watch the video, neither moving even when it autostarted from the beginning, and this time you laughed outwardly at the funny parts, and asked him questions about why Happy didn’t seem to like him.
“What did you do to him Peter?”
“Nothing I swear!”
“Likely story.”
And he felt the steel blanket of grief fall off his shoulders. The feeling of intrigue and excitement for going back to life was no longer a small trail buried deep within him, but now a firecracker that ignited his insides and aurated off of him. Things were going to be alright, he was going to make it out this summer with more than just the memories from his bedroom, and he’d make it through whatever else life would throw at him, as long as he had you by his side.
Because you didn’t make his heart beat faster out of fear, you made him feel flustered and full of affection.
And you didn’t hold him roughly, with the intent to harm him; you held him delicately, and he could only wait to be able to hold your heart the same way.
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tigerkirby215 · 3 years
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5e Sona, the Maven of the Strings build (League of Legends)
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(Artwork by Shilin Huang. Made for Riot Games.)
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(Shit meme by yours truly.)
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Revealing my Champion Mastery just to say that I play a lot of Sona. Don’t flame me for playing Seraphine and Yuumi I swear to god, and I have no idea why Teemo is in my top 10 highest mastery champs ngl.
Anyways you have no idea how happy I am as a Sona main that my girl is now top tier. I came to League of Legends from Overwatch (yes really) and I used to main Lucio in OW along with some of the more “techy” characters like Symmetra and Torbjorn. (Came to OW from TF2 where I mained Engineer and Medic.) Sona was a natural fit for me as a champion who was both easy to play and very similar to Lucio. It also helps that I joined the Rift during the single most engaging meta to ever grace this game. I was kinda too shit to play Janna but the Ardent Censer meta is also why I have such a high mastery on Lulu tbh.
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But enough about my history with League: Sona! Honestly when I think of an archetypical support Sona pops into my head a lot sooner than Soraka: a champion based on empowering their teammates in as many ways as possible with heals, shields, movement speed, and CC to hold the enemy team down. I’ve always loved playing her because she feels like much more of a macro oriented character than other supports, with team-wide support as opposed to keeping one person alive like Soraka or Yuumi or focusing on CC like Morgana and Nami.
I’m going to build most if not all the champions eventually but man I am happy to tackle Sona now. She’s always been on my mind as my main but it was pretty difficult to think of how to make her. I think this build is good enough though!
Wow that was much longer of an intro than I’m used to. You can really tell which champions I’m excited for lol.
GOALS
Everything in harmony - Sona boosts everyone on her team with her songs as they fill the air.
Triple time! - Sona’s ability to boost her whole team into a good position is always beneficial.
Crescendo! - Fun fact: Sona’s ultimate is canonically extremely painful as she forces you to contort your limbs against your will. Why is Sona needlessly macabre? Well remember that Riot also wrote Volibear as an Eldritch old god.
RACE
Sona is Human but if you want to be cool you can make her a Kalashtar for resistance to Psychic damage and advantage on Wisdom saves. Regardless we’re going to be making what’s known as a dollar store Kalashtar with Variant Human. Increase your Charisma by 1 as well as your Constitution because we kinda don’t need much else. You also get proficiency in one skill of your choice which will of course be Performance, and a language which you can pick as you fancy: you won’t be speaking it anyways lmfao.
That’s because “Only you can hear me summoner; what masterpiece shall we play today?” Grab the Telepathic feat to complete this dollar store Kalashtar package. Increase your Charisma score by 1 and get a 60 foot telepathy to speak while being mute. You also learn the Detect Thoughts spell and can cast it once without using a spell slot. "Did he want... four autographs? I don't understand."
ABILITY SCORES
15; CHARISMA - Charisma is tied to performance and all the other stuff a Demacian noblewoman is expected to be good at.
14; DEXTERITY - Something something medium armor; even if you wear a dress there’s no reason you can’t have some padding beneath it!
13; STRENGTH - Hey this isn’t something something medium armor!
12; CONSTITUTION - Sona may be squishy in League but I value not dying more than good skill checks honestly.
10; WISDOM - Speaking of not dying: Wisdom saves are more common, and Insight is more useful than most Intelligence skills.
8; INTELLIGENCE - We had to dump something so unfortunately Intelligence gets the short end of the stick. You may have studied under the illustrious Buvelle family but most of those lessons were music classes.
If you want a better stat array going 13 / 14 / 12 / 10 / 10 / 14 with Point Buy is perfectly viable, and if your DM is cool enough to let you multiclass without Strength then you’re more than welcome to dump it.
BACKGROUND
There’s two obvious backgrounds that fit Sona: the first is Entertainer for proficiency with Acrobatics and a skill of your choice (since we already took Performance lol.) You also get proficiency with Disguise Kits and your Etwahl! (That’s what Sona’s instrument is called btw.) Your background feature By Popular Demand allows you to play any stage once. "Some, just the once.” You can perform in exchange for a place to stay, and when you do so the local people will remember your wonderful performance!
But making an Entertainer Bard is kinda cliché, no? If you want to lean into Sona’s Demacian heritage go for the Noble background. This gives you proficiency with Persuasion and History as well as a gaming set of your choice: unfortunately Tellstones isn’t an option (unless your DM decides otherwise!) so a Dragonchess Set will do well enough. Oh and you get another language that you won’t speak: fun! Your Position of Privilege makes it easy for you to arrange meetings with other important people, and the commonfolk will be kind and cordial with you.
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(Screenshot from the Tellstones: King’s Gambit trailer by Riot Games.)
I personally opted to go for Noble when making this build, but if you want to choose Entertainer go right ahead! Backgrounds don’t affect too much overall and it’s up to you (and your DM) to make your own Sona!
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(Artwork from League of Legends Wild Rift. Made for Riot Games. RIOT PLEASE UPDATE MUSE SONA ON PC I’M BEGGING YOU!)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - BARD 1
I mean what else did you expect? Bards get proficiency in three musical instruments of their choice: a Lyre is the closest you’ll get to Sona’s Etwahl, though a Dulcimer is also pretty close. I’d also recommend grabbing a Lute since most magical instruments come in Lute variety.
You also get proficiency in 3 skills of your choice like Perception to watch wards, Insight to watch people, and Athletics for a bit of Tenacity to break out of grapples. (As well as potentially grab some people yourself! Although Acrobatics is also perfectly fine for escaping grapples.)
As a Bard you can boost your ADC with Bardic Inspiration, letting them add a d6 to attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. You have a number of these equal to your Charisma modifier and they come back after a Long Rest.
But of course the main reason to play a Bard is to do Demacian-banned Spellcasting! You learn two cantrips from the Bard list like Vicious Mockery for some diminuendo, making it harder for the enemy to hurt your allies while also cutting them down to size. (I don’t know if your DM will let you slap your Etwahl angrily and then point at them judgingly, but you may have to break your vow of silence every now and then.) You can also learn Prestidigitation for all sorts of general magic stuff that you really shouldn’t do in front of anyone important.
You of course also learn 4 Bard spells like Cure Wounds and Healing Word for the atypical healing spells, Dissonant Whispers for some Hymn of Valor damage, and Detect Magic which you’ll likely be expected to cast as the designated support. *Sigh* Always gotta buy wards.
LEVEL 2 - BARD 2
Second level Bards could be called a Jack of All Trades, as you get to add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you aren’t proficient in. This means even if your ability scores are bad the skills you don’t have proficiency in are still good enough! You also get Song of Rest, letting your allies recover an extra d6 of health during Short Rests. And if you have Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything  Magical Inspiration will let your allies add their Bardic Inspiration to the damage or healing of a spell they cast!
And finally you can learn another spell: against as the designated support you’re expected to take Identify.
LEVEL 3 - BARD 3
Third level Bards get Expertise in two skills: Performance is an obvious must and Persuasion would probably be good as well.
But more importantly you get to choose your Bardic College and if you want to both shield your allies and speed them up look no further than the College of Glamour! That’s because Mantle of Inspiration grants 5 temporary hitpoints to a number of creatures within 60 feet of you equal to your Charisma modifier (which can include yourself by the way!) Additionally those creatures can move up to their movement speed as a reaction without provoking opportunity attacks, making this a great tool to reposition an ally who’s caught in a dangerous position!
You’re also capable of creating an Enthralling Performance: if you perform for at least 1 minute, you can attempt to inspire wonder in your audience. At the end of the performance you can choose a number of humanoids within 60 feet of you who watched and listened to all of it, up to a maximum equal to your Charisma modifier. Each target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by you.
While charmed in this way, the target idolizes you, and speaks glowingly of you to anyone who talks to them. They also hinder anyone who opposes you, although they avoid violence unless it was already inclined to fight for you. This effect ends on a target after 1 hour unless they take any damage, you attack it, or it witnesses you attacking or damaging any of its allies. If a target succeeds on its saving throw the target has no hint that you tried to charm it, and you can use this ability once per Short or Long Rest.
Finally you can learn second level spells like Hold Person, for a one-man version of your ultimate.
LEVEL 4 - BARD 4
Ah the first of many Ability Score Improvements. You may have noticed our deliberately uneven Charisma modifier: that’s because I’m going to be taking the Fey Touched feat for +1 to your Charisma, the Misty Step spell (for Flash, of course), and the Gift of Alacrity spell from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount for a Song of Celerity! Accelerated movement? I concur.
You can also learn another spell as well as another cantrip! For your cantrip take Mage Hand for help warding those hard-to-reach areas, and for your spell take Lesser Restoration, because yeah it’s also your job to buy Mikael’s. *Sigh.*
LEVEL 5 - BARD 5
5th level Bards get a Font of Inspiration that lets their Bardic Inspiration come back after a Short Rest as well as a Long Rest. That’s good because your Bardic Inspiration increases to a d8, which also boosts your Mantle of Inspiration to grant 8 temporary hitpoints!
You can also learn another spell like Hypnotic Pattern: while it won’t do any damage and your allies can’t hit the dancing enemies it’ll still be the best recreation of your ultimate for now.
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(Artwork by Katie “TeaTime” De Sousa. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 1
I hope you weren’t expecting this to be a pure Bard build, because then I’d just be building Seraphine again! Grab your something something Medium Armor as well as a shield (well technically you need both hands free to play a musical instrument) it’s Paladin time, master of auras! 
Paladins get a Lay on Hands pool equal to 5 times their Paladin level for some more healing. You can touch a creature to give them any amount of health from your Lay on Hands, or use 5 hitpoints from your Lay on Hands pool to neutralize a poison or disease affecting them. You also get Divine Sense to locate any Celestial, Fiend, or Undead as long as they’re within 60 feet of you and not behind total cover. Don’t worry it gets a lot more exciting later.
LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 2
Second level Paladins can choose their Fighting Style and you’re still more of a mage than a warrior, so Blessed Warrior will give you two cantrips from the Cleric list that use your Charisma! Guidance is an obvious must for a support and Toll the Dead is a great option if you want to go full AP.
Should you have options for attacks to target enemies who have high Wisdom? Yeah probably: Sacred Flame might be a good choice.
Of course cantrips also imply more Spellcasting! You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level (rounded down) which is currently a freaking lot of spells. Let’s just go down the list, shall we?
Bless is great to buff your team and make them harder, better, faster, and stronger.
Command is a mostly harmless Enchantment spell that will force your foes to do as you, well, command. I’d argue “dance” is a reasonable Command.
Protection from Evil and Good is never bad to have in your back pocket in case you’re fighting either Kayle or Fiddlesticks.
And Shield of Faith will let you boost your ADC’s survivability with Ardent Censer!
I know you can prepare more spells but there isn’t much I want from first level of Paladin. I am contractually obligated to mention that you can also turn your spell slots into a Divine Smite if you hit an enemy with a melee weapon, but you aren’t really going to be using weapons in this build. That’s right boys hop aboard the caster Paladin train!
LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 3
Third level Paladins get to choose their Sacred Oath and Oath of the Watchers may seem weird but it’s really good at defending your allies. That’s because you get two different Channel Divinity options: Abjure the Extraplanar works similarly to the Cleric’s Turn Undead feature except it affects Aberrations, Celestials, Elementals, Fey, and Fiends.
Watcher’s Will meanwhile lets you choose a number of creatures you can see within 30 feet of you, up to your Charisma modifier. For 1 minute, you and the chosen creatures have advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws. This means that in a party of 6 this ability can give your whole party advantage on all mental saves, which is huge for keeping everyone alive against nasty casters! See? Demacia can use your magic!
Speaking of magic you get Alarm and Detect Magic as Oath spells. (Might want to swap Detect Magic from your Bard list with Mass Healing Word ty Tasha’s.) You can also use Harness Divine Power to regain a spell slot equal to half your proficiency bonus a number of times per Long Rest. And you get Divine Health, because you don’t take a sick day to stop complaining about Seraphine.
LEVEL 9 - PALADIN 4
4th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement: cap off that Charisma for maximum AP scaling!
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(Artwork by Kelly Aleshire & Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 5
5th level Paladins can finally prepare second level spells! As a Watchers Paladin you get access to Moonbeam as well as See Invisibility, both of which are very good for dealing with incoming gankers.
You can also prepare spells like Aid to boost your allies’ HP, Prayer of Healing (ty Tasha’s) for some out-of-combat healing, and Warding Bond for a Knight’s Vow.
Oh and you get an Extra Attack, which sure would matter if you were actually using weapons.
LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 6
6th level reasons get the main reason Sona’s a Paladin: Aura of Protection! All your saving throws are increased by an amount equal to your Charisma modifier, which is a full +5 currently! But what’s special about this ability is that it also applies to your allies within 10 feet of you, letting you give out auras a plenty to keep your allies safe!
You can also prepare another spell but again: not much I really want. So we’re going to be waiting a little while longer once again.
LEVEL 12 - PALADIN 7
7th level Watchers Paladins get Aura of the Sentinel, or as I like to call it: Song of Celerity. When you or any creature of your choice within 10 feet of you roll for initiative, they gain a bonus to initiative equal to your proficiency bonus. While this may make positioning a little difficult (everyone’s going to have to huddle around you) this ability guarantees that you can speed up all your important allies to make sure they get their powerful abilities off!
LEVEL 13 - PALADIN 8
8th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. You may have noticed your uneven Constitution score: grab good ol’ Resilient Constitution for a boost to your health and even more insurance on your Concentration checks. With your Paladin aura and proficiency you’d have a +12 total to your Constitution checks currently, meaning that if you take 24 damage or less you won’t even have to roll for Concentration!
LEVEL 14 - PALADIN 9
You are probably the only Paladin who cares about spells, so it’s nice that you get 3rd level spells now! Watchers Paladins get two very strong third level spells: Nondetection will help you deward and keep your allies safe from enemies that may try to sneak a peak at you, but Counterspell is the true best choice to stop danger from befalling your allies. What’s very good about Counterspell is that as a Bard you get to add Jack of All Trades to the skill check, meaning it’s far easier for you to deny an incomming spell than any other spellcaster! “Mages have enough problems without you.”
Of course you can prepare some more spells like Aura of Vitality for Aria of Perseverance, and Revivify for an ADC’s Guardian Angel. But having access to spells like Remove Curse, Dispel Magic, Crusader’s Mantle, and even Daylight on the Paladin spell list are all extremely useful to be able to prepare. Remember that you are doing yourself a disservice by not taking time to think about what the best spells to prepare would be for your current quest. "Every note is important."
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(Artwork by Kelly Aleshire & Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 15 - BARD 6
Now that we’ve got all our auras it’s time to go back to Bard for Mantle of Majesty! As a bonus action, you cast Command without expending a spell slot as you take on an appearance of unearthly beauty for 1 minute. During that minute you can cast Command as a bonus action on each of your turns without expending a spell slot. Additionally any creature charmed by you automatically fails its saving throw against the command you cast with this feature. You do have to concentrate on this feature (like a spell), and once you use it you can’t do so again until you finish a long rest.
You can also learn another spell but there isn’t much I want from the third level of Bard, really. Oh and you get Countercharm which is awful and I hate it, but since you didn’t take a 10th level in Paladin I suppose you have to use it. Spend an action to give allies advantage on their saving throws against charms and fears, I guess.
LEVEL 16 - BARD 7
7th level Bard; 4th level spells. Freedom of Movement will let you help either yourself or an ally with Mikael’s Crucible, and Dimension Door is great to get into lane fast, or back to base fast!
LEVEL 17 - BARD 8
8th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement, and if you don’t like the look of something something Medium Armor then the Eldritch Adept feat might be able to help. Take the Mask of Many Faces invocation to be able to cast Disguise Self at will to change your skins as you please.
Could you have taken this earlier? Absolutely. Are there better invocations? Yeah probably, but by level 17 you can make some of your own choices. Build your own Sona: this is merely a guide and you can make your own choices.
Speaking of own choices: take whichever spell you want at this level. There’s plenty of great ones for a 4th level Bard and I can’t recommend anything in particular to you. Every musician has their own style, and it’s up to you to find your own!
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(Artwork by Yan Li. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 18 - BARD 9
9th level Bards get to pretend that increasing Song of Rest from a d6 to a d8 by total level 18 is helpful.
You do get access to 5th level spells like Mass Cure Wounds, which is like Mass Healing Word but better! "Harmoniously."
LEVEL 19 - BARD 10
10th level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Perception is an obvious must to watch over your wards but beyond that? Honestly pick your poison with whatever skill you want since by level 19 you can make your own choices. (Though my personal choice would be Athletics to hopefully give some more safety against grapples.)
But of course the main boon of reaching level 10 in Bard is the Magical Secrets! ...I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you again: there honestly aren’t any spells in particular I want as Magical Secrets. Sure I could recommend spells like Haste or whatever but are they really going to be that great by total level 20? To be honest even the spells on the Bard list like Animate Objects, Greater Restoration, Hold Monster, Rary's Telepathic Bond, Scrying, and Synaptic Static are very good (although I’d sooner replace some of your old spells with them.)
Again I know this is supposed to be a “guide” but most people won’t hit level 19 anyways, so I don’t think it’s that bad for me to recommend you take your own steps to make your own Sona. Hell, build some AP if you want! I know I would!
LEVEL 20 - BARD 11
Our final level is the 11th level of Bard and I’ll be honest: it’s just to add Otto's Irresistible Dance to your spell list. It can only affect one person but it’s still your ultimate by total level 20.
Oh and you were supposed to get a cantrip last level. Uhhhhh I dunno take Mending lol.
FINAL BUILD
PROS
The rhythm connects us all - You have dozens of spells to keep your team alive and active during a fight, not to mention that all your Paladin auras and abilities really help them give 110%. It’s worth mentioning that Gift of Alacrity combined with Aura of the Sentinel is a d8 + 6 to an Initiative roll, which will almost always guarantee that whoever you want to go first will be going first!
A true masterpiece should celebrate living - Despite your somewhat weird level split you maxed out the only stat which matters for you: Charisma. And woah holy shit turns out Paladins are really good with maxed out Charisma! +5 to all saves means even your lowest save is a +4, and the saves your proficient in vary between +13 for Dexterity and Constitution (both very common!) and a whopping +16 save on Charisma!
Curtains up; I'm ready - Jack of All Trades also does quite nicely to help your middling skills. Even though I dumped most of your mental skills you’re still proficient enough that you won’t be completely helpless when caught off guard. And when you’re in the zone with Persuasion or Performance you are easily the best girl around!
CONS
Don't make me get off stage - It was my intention to recreate Sona’s positional gameplay with this build but it does present some gameplay issues when trying to maximize your effectiveness. Where do you position yourself as a character who’s still primarily a squishy caster despite your good saving throws and AC? Can you give everyone in your party support, or are they too spread out to get value out of your 10 foot range auras?
Quiet, please! - You have a damn good concentration check, but what do you concentrate on? Not only do you have a ton of spells but they all scale very good with levels and you have spell slots that go far higher than your maximum level spell. It can be hard to choose what to do with those 7th and 8th level slots.
The world is cruel... Until that changes, I'll never stop playing - One of many “meta” problems with this build was my choice to focus almost entirely on support. Sure Toll the Dead is a great damaging cantrip but your only two damaging spells are Moonbeam and Dissonant Whispers. Again: you don’t have to follow my build point-for-point and while you’ll be flamed in League for building Sona full AP I don’t think your friends will mind if you take some damaging spells.
But if you can’t tell it was really hard for me to come up with those downsides. With the exception of the positional requirements a Bardadin is a very strong build and Sona is a very strong support. Boost your teammates with your own amazing power and make sure everyone’s alive and jamming! Your power may have been forgotten over the years but no one’s ever upset to have a great support at their side. And remember: Seraphine may be in K/DA but you’re in Pentakill, and you have your own label! No one can replace DJ Sona!
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marvel-m-lee · 3 years
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Jay's Makeup Giggles
I actually like his fic a lot for the most part. I haven't felt so gd bout righting a fic in a while lol- though it's weird at the start, I promise it does actually get better.
Prompt: by @secretly-tword-obsessed - Lee Jay
Words: 2222
Warning: language, teasing, fluff.
-Big Mouth!
--------------------------------------------------
It was a casual day. Only it wasn't. I lied. Jay was now hiding somewhere in Nicks house, giggling nervously, awaiting for one of his friends to find him.
It had started off a normal day, Andrew and Jessi were going to come over to Nicks and Jay just stayed the night. Nicks parents loved him so they never really minded.
"So, Nick, Jay? What time are Andrew and Jessi coming round?" Nicks mum asked, everyone sitting around the breakfast tabled eating.
"Any time, but knowing them probably 11 or 12" Nick answered.
Both of Nicks parents looked at each other with lust, his father slightly whispered something rather a little too loud making all but the two lovers uncomfortable. Well and Jay- but that's just Jay for ya.
"Please don't say that when they're here-"
"Nicky, I perfectly normal -and healthy! To make love in the morning. Your mother and I would do it all hours of the day if you kids weren't around and we had no jobs-"
"That's enough dad!" Nick sighed, putting down his cutlery and feeling incredibly embarrassed.
Later Nick and Jay were getting ready when the door rang, alerting them that Andrew and Jessi were here. Nick ran down, Jay following after and let the two in the house.
"Hey Andrew! Hey Jessi!" Jay happily yelled, giving the two a hug.
"Hey Jay" Jessi chuckled, patting jays back.
"Okay, alright! Let's go upstairs and play some video games!" Nick said, the four ran upstairs and played video games.
Yeah, all rather casual for the most part. They played videogames, had lunch, played more video games- them jessi decided to scroll on her phone for a bit.
"Come on Jessi girl, let's do something fun!" Connie begged, watching ad the girl scrolled through Instagram posts of mini make up tutorials and clothing outfits.
"Connie I'm bored too, but the boys just wanna play videogames and I just wanna scroll through my phone" Jessi didn't once take her eyes off her phone.
"Come on!!!- oh I have an idea!!! We could convince them to let us do their make up!?" Connie's eyes shone brightly, as thiugh she'd just had the best idea.
Jessi thought for a moment, about to agree because that could actually be pretty fun, but she soon remembered she hadn't brought the little make up she had.
"We can't, I didn't bring any make up" she sighed, looking back at her phone.
Connie's expression changed from excitement, to disappointment ment, to yet more excitement in a matter of seconds.
"Check your bag!"
"What?"
"You packed some from the time you went on that horrific date-" An uncomfortable shiver went down Connie's spine, the same for Jessi's.
"Yeah- it was pretty shit..."
"Yeah... anyway go check if you still have it!"
Jessi jumped off the bed and went to grab her bag, Nick looked over to check if she was alright but soon realised she was fine.
Annoyingly that made him loose the game. "ha! Another win for the Jay Hammer! Thats what my pillow calls me" Jay winked but the other two grimisted at the thought of Jay fucking a pillow-
"Hey guys?" Jessie asked, picking something up and nor letting any of them see.
"Yeah Jessi?"
"Wanna do something fun?"
"She wants to fuck! She definitely wants you to pounds her" Maury chanted, excitement radiations off him. Andrew tried to ignore him.
"Uh.. sure Jessi, what?" Andrew asked, confused but wanting to see if Maury was right. Obviously he wasn't. But still, hope. 🤞
Jessi pulled out her make up and smiled evil-y as the lights flickered and the boys all screamed.
Very over dramatic indeed.
"What the hell jusy happened to the lights?" Andrew asked, looking up.
"Probably a fuise"
"Did anyone else hear that demonic laughter?" Nick asked.
"Me again, haha- MAHAHAHA" The lights flickered again as Jay laughed manicly, everyone else screaming. The next minute it was like nothing happened.
"Okay- anyway- Jessi you can't be serious? That's... make ups for girls" Andrew said, threatened by ruining his masculinity.
"Yes I'm serious! Plus, make ups for everyone. All it does is make your features show more"
"Jessi- I just don't think... make ups for me? Ya know?"
"Oh whatever Andrew, Nick? Jay? You two aren't afraid of make up right?" She asked, not wanting to convince Andrew.
"Uh... Jessi I just don't know-"
"I will!" Jay jumped up and off the bed, jumping up and down with his hand in the air like a child.
"Yes Jay!"
Jay and Jessi were both excited to do the make up, Nick and Andrew both shrugged as they continued playing their video game. Though it was better cause Jay would always win.
"Okay Jay, sit up here" Jessi said, patting the edge of the bed as she put her stuff down and grabbed a rather large make up brush.
Jay sat down and swung his legs like a five year old, he was more than happy to do this- for whatever reason. He sat patiently as he waited for Jessi to get ready.
Jessi had put some sort of powder on the brush and asked Jay to look at her, she gently held his chin in her hand and dusted the brush on his face, asking Connie if she was doing it right.
Suddenly though, Jay jumped upwards with a little squeak, everyone stopped and looked over at him.
"You okay Jay?" Nick asked, Jay went a little red and nodded, suddenly quiet. Andrew and Nick looked at one another, asking what the hell just happened, Jessi just asked for Jay to sit down again so she could keep going.
Reluctantly, Jay sat back down and waited. He tried to hold it in but he couldn't help as the brush dusted his cheek once more. Suddenly, light, bubbly, childish giggles splattered out of his mouth, giggling away as the brush tickled his skin.
He tried to twitch away but also tried to stay still, trying to mask was something he did rarely, if ever, but was trying so hard to at this moment.
"Jay? Everything okay?" Jessi asked, stopping the brush and taking it away. Jay's giggles didn't stop though, so he tried to rub them away which just messed with the powder slightly.
"Is- is he okay?" Andrew asked, yet again pausing the game.
"I dont know-"
Nick tapped Jay's shoulder, making him jump. For some, stupid, random reason whenever Jay was lightly tickled he'd become incredibly sensitive, not that he wasn't already, no. Jay was probably one of the most ticklish people in the world but would usually run and hide so his friends never found out.
"Woah- hey, Jay?" Jay stopped rubbing as the sensation went away, his face was going red as he realised most, if not all of his closest friends were in the same room, without him being able to run, as he was lightly tickled.
"Oh my god the boys ticklish-" Maury and Connie both exclaimed, now visible to all the children rather than just their kid.
"Aw, that's so cute!" Connie exclaimed, grabbing him and ticking under his chin, starting up a whole new bundle of giggles as he turned away.
"No! No-" Jay denied, still giggling like the five year old he was.
"Wait seriously?" Andrew exclaimed, jumping off the bed. Out of all of them Andrew was one of the most ticklish, but it wadnt a surprise, let alone new news. Jay on the other hand jumped at the slightest touch.
"How did we never realise?" Nick asked, rather surprised yet somehow not at all.
"Let's tickle him till he cries!" Maury yelled, wiggling his fingers at the boy who just giggled before he was even touched.
He shook his head, "g-guys! I-iheim not even ticklish!"
Jessi couldn't help but smile, Jay trying to ignore the fact of how ticklish he was was adorable to say the least. Especially as he was already giggling at the slight thoughts of being tickled.
"Aren't you a cutie!" Connie said again, tickling his chin, ears and neck making him squeal and step back into the bed. He tried to run away the sensations but couldn't stop the giggles or smirks growing on all his friends faces.
"N-no- really guys- ihihim n-neheot ticklish!"
"How about we test that theory?" Andrew said.
As soon as Jay heard that his eyes went wide and he ran. Probably faster than Usain Bolt.
So that's where we are, Jay hiding from his friends as the image of their wiggling hands corrupted his mindz reluctantly giggling. Jay slammed his hand over his mouth and shut his eyes tight, pretending he wasn't there.
Jay didn't hate tickling, he actually enjoyed it. His brothers would tickle him to tears and although they thought they were annoying him, Jay treasured the moments. His parents would do the same when he was much smaller, tickle him slightly and hear his childish giggles.
The thought of his friends tickling him? It was terrifying buy also exciting. He couldn't bring himself to let them though, so he hid away.
It had been 10 minutes, his giggles would stop and go all over again and he was surprised he wasn't found yet.
Only then did he hear people walking down the hall, calling out his name.
"Jayyyy? Where are you~" Andrew called out, the teasing didn't help. He flushed red and hid deeper in his hands, curling up.
"Jay, we're gonna find you" He heard Nick call.
"Come out~" Jessi couldn't help but laugh, imagining her friend in the exact position he was in.
The footsteps passed the cupboard but stopped soon after, Jay had accidentally let out a rather loud giggle after holding his breath. Once more his breathing stopped and so did everything else.
In a slash of a second, the door opened and Jay was thrown over some hairy monsters shoulder, squealing and yelling. Pounding his back.
"This kid is strong" Maury said, but soon gave Jay a poke on his side and he once more turned to a puddle of giggles. Jay was thrown on Nicks bed and the door was locked.
Jay curled into a ball and squeezed his eyes tight, giggling hysterically already.
"Oh my god he's worse than Andrew!" Jessi called out.
"Hey!"
"We haven't even touched him yet" Nick laughed, then going to poke Jay's side as he squealed.
"Jay~ are you sure you're not ticklish?" Nick teased, poking his side over and over abd Jay frantically tossed and turned, laughing now.
"NAHAHAGAHANOOOOO" He shook his head and squealed as the pokes became faster as faster.
Andrew them fluttered some fingers around his neck, giggles splattered out along with reluctant laughter.
"NAHAHA!! PLEASEEEEEE" Jay battered their hands away, begging as the sensations became stronger.
"Oh my fuck, you got him begging already?!" Maury cheered the kids on. Nick looked at Andrew and Jessi and the three decided to climb on the bed.
Nick said just below Jay's hips but not on his thighs, Jessi sat on his angles and Andrew used all his strength to lift up the boys arms exposing his armpits and sat on his wrists as he clashed around.
"All spread out just for us" Andrew teased, dragging his hands lightly down Jay's arms as he tossed and turned, giggling eyes squeezed shut after feeling the horror of being so exposed.
"Nahahaha!! A-andreewwww" Jay begged but soon he felt hands on his calves, Jessi's fingers slightly being dragged upwards. Jay couldn't help but bash his feet.
"Now, Jay? Are you ticklish?" Jay didnt care, he somehow thought that they'd believe him if he stood ground. Even if he was a giggling puddle.
"NooAh!?" He jumped as he felt Jessie flutter under his knees.
"Weak spot guys" she called out, then moved her hands and squeezed his kneecaps.
Jay shook and squealed then, bashing all he could to get out. His knees were definitely a weak spot, he couldn't handle the torture. And it had only just begun.
His friends all laughed at his situation and actions, then everyone dived in. Andrew scratched at his hollows, Nick squeezed his sides and hips, making him buck. Occasionally spidering his ribs which made his giggles bubble up again. And Jessi kept changing from squeezing his knees to his thighs.
Jay couldn't handle it all, not at one anyway. He shook and squeaked, a bright red happy face but begged abd begged.
"STAPPPPPPOP PLEASE STAPPPPHAHMMM" He spluttered out, his face was so red and he couldn't help the tears that formed through laughter over a party few minutes.
Everyone let up abd laughed with him as he crawled into a happy giggly little ball. Maury poked his side one last time for good measure with made him yell but they all just laughed.
"Aw, Jay's a ticklish like boy" Jessi teased. Jay hugged himself, drowning and his own laughter for a few minutes.
"Ya know we would have stopped if you asked?" Nick teased, jumping back on the bed witb Andrew to play again.
Jay went red again. They were right, he'd never actually asked them to stop, and he loved it so much. Everyone went back to doing their own thing and Jay just giggled. Fuck.
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winterscaptain · 4 years
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a real hero.
Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader
a/n: so about five of you asked about 6x06, devil’s night, when jack dresses up as his dad for halloween. when y’all make the call, i deliver! here’s just over a thousand words of total fluff, thrown together in about an hour (please forgive my errors and tell me what you think!). this stands alone, but i’m throwing it in the ajf pile for good measure, as well!
words: 1.2k warnings: language
summary: “we're taught to expect unconditional love from our parents, but i think it is more the gift our children give us. it's they who love us helplessly, no matter what or who we are.” ― kathryn harrison, the kiss
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!
“..today it rivals only Christmas in terms of popularity.” Spencer and Emily come into the round table room, and you suppress a smile. 
If you know anything about Spencer, it’s that his love for Halloween knows no bounds. 
Emily sits down next to you, explaining, “All I asked was what he was planning to do this weekend.” 
You hide your laugh in your file, looking at Hotch over the top of the folder. There’s the smallest pull in the corner, the threat of a dimple. He looks up at you, and the dimple appears for just a split second before disappearing again. 
+++
Aaron’s anxious as you all wait for the go-ahead from air traffic control. He keeps checking his watch, and his leg bounces under the table. You’re the only two still in the cabin, the others took two other cars and are apparently taking their damn time to arrive from the precinct. 
You throw a Hershey’s kiss at him. He jumps and looks over at you. 
“What’s wrong?”
He sighs. “I’ve never missed a Halloween with Jack. I’m just nervous we aren’t going to make it back in time, is all.” 
You offer him a little smile. “You’ll make it back.” 
Just then, his phone rings and he answers it. “Hotchner.” A smile breaks across his face. “Oh hi, bud. Yeah. We’re almost in the air...Just a couple more hours...What?” He looks at you, and you furrow your brow. “...Let me ask.” 
He covers the mic. “I’d imagine people in their twenties have better ways to spend Halloween than with an over-excited five-year-old and his boring dad, right?”
You snort. “Hell no. I’m in.” 
And it was true - you didn’t have anywhere else better to be, and the lights in your house were already dark and had plans to stay that way to deter trick-or-treaters. There was no better way, in your opinion, than to spend Halloween with an overexcited five-year-old and his (allegedly) boring dad.
He shakes his head with a little smile and returns the phone to his ear. “Yeah, bud. We’re on for the three of us.”
+++
You sit on the floor of Jack’s bedroom, having been dragged in by two of your fingers immediately upon entering the apartment. He told his dad to wait in the dining room and closed the door behind him, so you imagine he has some serious business to discuss with you. 
“I don’t want to be Spiderman.” 
Your brow pinches. “Why not, bud?”
“The costume’s itchy and he’s not a real hero.” 
You hum, thinking. “Are there any real heroes you want to be, or do we want to toss out the hero idea entirely?”
He considers the options carefully, the pinch of his mouth starkly reminiscent of Haley. “I think I want to still be a hero.” 
“Okay. Do you want to come up with some ideas? We still have a little bit of time.”
A little bit of time was pushing it - Aaron wanted to get going before it got too dark out, giving them time for a movie before bed after Jack acquired his haul in the neighborhood. 
An idea comes to him, lighting up his face. “Can you get one of Dad’s ties? They’re…” he looks up, remembering, “...hung up on the front of the bathroom door in his room or inside the closet by the light switch.” 
“Of course.” You kiss his head, shutting the door behind you. You sneak down the hall and open Aaron’s door, trying to be as quiet as possible. 
“You know,” comes a voice from the dining room, “I can hear you?”
You throw your head around the door frame. “No, you can’t!” ...And shut the door behind you.
In Aaron’s room, you find the little hanging tree with all his ties, finding one of the red ones he wears all the time and one of which he has about five near-identical versions, just in case something happened out in the wild. 
You have half an idea of what Jack’s planning, but your only job right now is to follow instructions.
You throw the tie over your shoulder and make a play at sneaking back into Jack’s room while Aaron’s amused huff chases you down the hall. 
Closing the door behind you again, you told up your prize. “I got it.” 
Jack turns around, wearing the suit he got for Haley’s service. It’s only a little small on him, but he’ll probably lose the jacket anyway, working up a sweat even in the chilly Fairfax fall. “I’m gonna be Dad.” 
A little smile pulls at you, and for some reason, there’s part of you that wants to cry a little. Nevertheless, you pull it together quickly, kneeling in front of him to tie the tie. “I think that’s a great idea.” 
Jack puts his little hands over yours. “Can I try it?”
“Mhmm.” You put your hands in your lap, watching him fruitlessly tie knots, trying to get that crisp line Aaron manages every morning. When he gets a little frustrated, you ask, “Do you want some help?”
He nods, looking up and away as you undo his handiwork, giving him a four-in-hand knot that won’t eat him alive. You tighten it just enough to tuck under his collar, smoothing his jacket and fixing the ducktail sticking out of his shirt. 
“Ready?”
He nods, and you open the door. Jack tucks behind your legs. “Dad, don’t look at me!” 
Aaron, ever faithful, has his back turned right where you both left him in the dining room. “I’m not looking! Are you almost ready? ...Need any help?”
You nod at Jack, and he goes into the hallway. “No.”
“Okay.” 
You keep your distance, leaning up against a free spot on the photo wall as Jack steps into the dining room. 
“Whoa,” Aaron says, clearly surprised. “That is definitely not Spiderman.” He looks at you, but you don’t give anything away, a little smile on your face. 
“He’s not a real superhero,” Jack explains. 
“He’s not?” Aaron looks entirely the part of the confused father at the moment, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, a questionable orange-ish sweater. It almost makes you laugh. “Okay. I give up. Who are you supposed to be?”
You can hear the grin in Jack’s voice. “I’m you, Daddy.” 
Aaron’s face softens and he walks over to his son, embracing him before picking him up. He looks at you over Jack’s shoulder. “Was this your idea?”
You shake your head. “All him. I only filched the props.” 
Aaron shakes his head with a little smile you can’t read. Redirecting, he grabs his keys and his wallet with one hand, shoving them in his pocket. “Let’s go get some candy, my little G-Man.”
You grab your coat and Aaron’s from the coat tree, the bucket for Jack’s goods, and follow the boys out the door. You lock the door behind you, finding both of them waiting for you at the end of the apartment hall.
There’s no thought to what the other twenty-somethings are doing tonight. 
Nothing could be better than this. 
+++
tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @sageellsworth05​ @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43
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cloudywriter · 3 years
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camp staghorn - 1
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Okay here is the official first chapter of Camp Staghorn! I know it’s long and maybe not the most entertaining but gotta have that building up first. Now things will start to pick up just you wait. Thank you for all the love on the snippet too! Let me know if you would like to be tagged!
my masterlist
~~~
Aelin sighed as she finally got off the bright yellow bus, her three bags weighing heavily on her arms and shoulder. The sun was already high in the sky and beating down despite Terrasen’s usually mild temperatures. Lysandra hopped down on the gravel path the bus had stopped in front of with a huff, Dorian and Elide followed. 
They were all about to spend the next week as camp counselors for a huge group of kids all in 1st-6th grade. She was just glad they had 6th graders. While Aelin loved kids but she wasn’t particularly looking forward to what she knew would be a long and tiring week. But, being a camp counselor would look great for her college applications. It was the summer right before their senior year, school had ended only a week prior. 
A number of other people who looked around her age shuffled about the area already convening into their respective friend groups. A few sat around old wooden picnic tables that were set up outside of the camp’s entrance. A huge sign was erected overhead with the words Camp Staghorn painted in white block letters. 
Chaol finally exited the bus and came to stand by Aelin.
“Really, Aelin? Three bags?” Chaol commented, shifting his singular black, duffel bag on his shoulder. 
Aelin shrugged, “I didn’t know what all I would need.”
Chaol only half-heartedly shook his head. Although Aelin and Chaol had broken up in the middle of junior year their relationship was still relatively amicable. 
Lys quickly shoved between Aelin and Chaol. “Aelin, look!” She whispered loudly into Aelin’s ear, pointing towards a group of boys occupying the grass near the entrance. 
At that, Aelin perked up, especially when she laid eyes on the group. Seriously, four of some of the best-looking high school boys she had ever seen were huddled there. 
A boy with tan, golden skin and blonde curly hair piled on his head seemed to be the focal point of the group, Aelin could hear his voice all the way where she was but couldn’t discern what he was saying. The boy immediately next to him looked to be his brother but with a brown mop of hair instead. Two other boys were there too, one with long, straight brown hair and a grumpy demeanor radiating off of him. The other boy was who Aelin really noticed though, his hair was a unique blonde, it appeared almost silver and was cut shorter, his skin had a healthy glow. He was in the circle with the other boys but she could tell his mind wasn’t. He was looking out at the expansive, blue lake that could be seen just through the trees with a thoughtful, pensive stare on his features. 
Dorian stepped up behind Aelin, following Lys’s finger to the gathering of boys. 
“Oh, they go to Mistward High. Chaol and I have had a few lacrosse games against them,” Dorian offered nonchalantly. 
“They’re gorgeous,” Lys giggled. 
Aelin shoved Lysandra’s shoulder playfully, “You’re dating my cousin!”
“I know, I know, but maybe you could have a summer camp fling. Oh, my gods! Like Camp Rock, you hear him singing your song, or whatever happened, and boom it’s love at first sight.” Aelin laughed and rolled her eyes. 
At her laugh, the silver-haired boy turned his eyes in her direction and they made brief eye contact, Aelin gave him a small smile and the boy looked away immediately. Well, that was rude. 
A man suddenly stepped up onto one of the empty picnic tables, a clipboard in hand. His hat was embroidered with Camp Staghorn and he wore a matching t-shirt in a deep green hue. 
“Alright, everyone listen up please!” He clapped his hands a few times to grab everyone’s attention. 
“My name is Gavriel, I’m the director of Camp Staghorn so if you have any questions, comments, or concerns I’m the guy to come to. Now, you all have signed off on behaving and being camp counselors who will set a good example but let’s just go over a few ground rules. First, no funny business between boys and girls camps especially at night, stay in your cabins after lights out. Second, remember to clean up after yourselves and your campers. Third, stay on top of your respective schedules. And really, just use common sense please, you’re all seniors you know the difference between right and wrong I don’t want to have to stand up here and list out a bunch of rules for a bunch of hypothetical scenarios, understood?”
A few head nods and murmurs of yes rippled through the crowd. 
“Great, then I’ll skip over that, you all know what’s expected of you. I’m going to call up names and give you a packet and a t-shirt. In that packet will be a list of your campers, your camp number, your cabin number, a map, and your camp’s schedule for the next week. The schedules are very packed so remember to stay on top of things, okay?”
More nods and murmurs of acknowledgment. 
Gavriel began to call names and people milled up to him to grab their new belongings. 
“Fenrys Moonbeam.” A few snickers went through the group and the blonde boy from earlier proudly made his way up to Gavriel. 
A few more names were called, Aelin remembered hearing the other two boys were named Lorcan and Connall but she was focused on learning the silver-haired boy’s name. 
“Rowan Whitethorn.” At that, the boy - Rowan - approached the table. Aelin thought the name fit him. 
“Elide Lochan.” Elide quickly made her way to Gavriel as Dorian, Chaol, and Lysandra got called too. 
“Aelin Galathynius.” Aelin made her way up, her heavy bags hitting her legs as she walked. She acquired the packet and shirt from Gavriel. 
A list of around twelfth names of girls looked back at Aelin. She skimmed them and saw written across the top was her camp number and cabin number with her schedule and map attached. Camp number 6 and cabin 3B. Lys peeked over Aelin’s shoulder.
“Oh, good you have 3B, Elide has 2B and I have 4B.” 
Aelin smiled but the three girls were a little put out when they noticed their schedules didn’t really align besides the designated meal times. “What are Dorian and Chaol’s cabins?”
“I don’t know they were in the E ones, they put the boys and girls on opposite sides,” Elide answered. Aelin nodded her head. 
“Okay, everyone should have everything now. The kids should arrive in about an hour, so make your way to your cabins and get dressed in your camp shirts. Then we will have a get-to-know-you activity and a little kick-off game when everyone arrives,” Gavriel spoke again.
Once they were dismissed everyone headed towards the cabins and mentally prepared themselves for an incoming army of children. 
+++
The introductions had gone fairly well, Aelin could probably name at least seven of the girls’ names off the top of her head. They all appeared friendly and like they would be a solid group, Aelin found herself looking forward to the week surprisingly. 
The girls and Aelin had all gotten settled in their cabin and were dressed in matching deep green shirts with the number 6 printed largely in white on the back. They made their way to the center of the camp which accommodated a large wooden stage and matching benches lined up around it in a semi-circle. It was clear at some point the stage and benches had been painted with bright colors and patterns but the paint had begun to peel off with time. 
Aelin directed the girls to all sit on the middle bench in the third row as she surveyed the area, looking for any sign of Elide and Lysandra. Most groups were finishing up their introduction games and convening in the main area now as instructed. 
Elide appeared from around a group of trees, her girls trailing closely behind. Aelin smiled when she saw her and waved her over. They all quickly settled in and waited for the second part of the day to start. 
“I’m already sweating through this shirt,” Elide sighed, fanning herself with the packet given to them earlier. 
“Do you know what the kick-off game is?” Aelin asked Elide curiously. 
Elide only shook her head.
A few minutes passed and the benches started to get pretty packed with people all chatting noisily. 
A cough into a mic alerted everyone, a dozen heads shifted towards the stage. 
“Alright, I believe we have all the 6th-grade groups here so why don’t we get started,” Gavriel spoke with enthusiasm. 
“So, get ready boys and girls for the great Staghorn mud race! Groups will be pinned against groups, boys vs. girls until there’s only one undefeated girl’s team and one undefeated boy’s team remaining and then we will have the final throw down!”
A few whoops went through the crowd. Fenrys was close to the stage pumping his arm in the air, hyping up his collection of young boys. 
“Follow me to the track and we will announce the beginning brackets!” Gavriel hopped off of the stage, he and a few other officials of the camp led the way down a dirt path steering away from the stage. 
They all stopped after a short trek, huddled around a middle strip of field complete with obstacles. 
“Here you can see what you’ll have to face. First, you have to high knee through the tires, then climb up the wooden wall using the rope and slide down the net on the other side, next crawl through one of the tunnels, and hop from log stump to log stump and book it to the finish line! Of course, you have to do all of that in slippery mud, it will be messy. The first team to get their counselor and all their campers through wins and moves on to the next round,” Gavriel explained. 
Aelin could feel the anticipation and eagerness radiating off of counselors and kids alike. Even Aelin was feeling excited, her overly competitive nature boiling to the surface. 
Aelin swiftly turned to her small army of 12-year-olds. “Okay, girls, I want every single one of you to be booking it the whole way through, we will come out the winners at all costs, I don’t do losing.”
The girls looked up at Aelin with wide eyes, many nodding their agreement.
“Oh, I forgot to mention the overall winning camp gets ice cream after dinner tonight!” Gavriel interjected.
The stakes were high, not only was Aelin competitive to a fault but she also loved sweets. “Yup, that only confirms it, no losing!” 
“We’ll give it our all, promise,” spoke one of her campers. A girl with long brown hair contained in two long braids named Borte, if Aelin remembered correctly. 
Aelin smiled, “That’s the spirit,” and offered Borte a high-five. 
Gavriel called out the first two camp numbers, both boy groups, that would be competing. 
Aelin watched the match closely, noting areas she thought seemed best to avoid and strategizing in her mind. After the race concluded two other camps occupied the starting line, those being made up of girls. 
A few more matches came to a close when Dorian and Chaol’s respective groups were called up. Aelin, Lys, and Elide all gave a little whoop, Aelin patted Dorian on the back as he passed her, he flashed back a dazzling smile. 
Unfortunately, one of the boys on Dorian’s team fell in the mud and tripped a good number of his fellow campmates, wrecking Dorian’s chances of winning as Chaol and his boys slipped by. 
“C’mon Dorian!” Aelin screamed, cupping her hands around her mouth. A few of her girls did the same, encouraging them to get a move on despite them not knowing Dorian; it made Aelin smile. Chaol’s team took the victory and Dorian trudged past Aelin in defeat, his body covered in mud. 
At one point Fenrys’ camp and Rowan’s camp went against each other. Aelin subconsciously watched that match like a hawk. Rowan was fast despite the mud and the t-shirt he had changed into seemed to be a bit small, it clung to his upper body, highlighting his muscles. Not to mention, the green complimented his hair and skin tone beautifully. 
Rowan was effective in herding his campers through the course, offering a helping hand and encouragement the whole way through unlike Fenrys who completed the obstacles first and resolved to yell at his campers to hurry. Unsurprisingly, Rowan and his camp crossed the finish line as a unit, Fenrys did not look happy but Aelin saw Rowan crack a smile, it was small but it was there.
As time went on both Lys and Elide had gone. Elide’s group had lost against a random camp while Lys had won. 
“Alright, last up for the beginning bracket we have camp 6 and camp 9!”
Aelin cracked her knuckles, she had been waiting for camp 6 to be called impatiently. 
“Okay, girls, now is our time to shine. Get out there and make me proud, remember stick to the sides, the middle seems to be the most slippery. If you slip it's okay just get right back up, don’t leave anyone behind.” All of them nodded in response. 
“Hands in,” Aelin said, sticking her hand in the middle of the huddle, “On 3, 1, 2, 3!”
As Aelin yelled three she and all her campers screamed camp 6 and raised their hands in the air and then took their spot on the starting block. 
The counselor of the opposing team seemed snooty, her nose was upturned as if she couldn’t believe she would have to get dirty in a few seconds. Her bright, almost white, blonde hair was braided down her back and she had her arms crossed. 
Aelin didn’t have a chance to say anything before Gavriel blew his whistle signaling the start of the race. 
Aelin exploded forward, focusing on her footing as she went. Luckily, she was athletic and had played a multitude of sports, including track, throughout the years. Aelin easily made her way through the rows of tires, turning back to check her girls’ progress. They all were keeping up and moving as a unit. Aelin didn’t waste the time to check the other group’s position. 
Aelin made it to the wall and grabbed the thick, coarse rope now caked with mud. Her hands slipped but she gritted her teeth and made it to the top of the platform. Borte was right behind her climbing, Aelin reached and grabbed Borte’s hand pulling her up the rest of the way. 
Aelin continued that cycle with the rest, offering support when the girls struggled with their grip on the rope then she slid down the net once they were all over the top. 
“You got it, girls, keep going!” Aelin encouraged. 
Aelin crawled through one of the large, black, plastic tunnels, getting covered with mud in the process. Then she jumped from log to log though they too were coated with mud. Aelin finished off strong, leading the last of her girls across the finish line. Aelin turned her attention back to the course and saw the other camp’s counselor still on the track. 
She was truly taking the time to scrap some of the mud off her shoe on the edge of one of the log stumps. 
“Remelle! It’s a race, you have to run!” Fenrys screamed from the side. Remelle, apparently, didn’t deign to respond, she only wrinkled her nose. 
“Well, camp 6 will be moving on!” Gavriel declared. 
Aelin and her girls cheered, jumping at each other forming one big mud hug. 
The cycle continued, camps faced off until the brackets grew smaller and smaller. By the time Aelin and her girls went for a second time, the mud on her body was drying uncomfortably. 
They succeeded in beating the other group once more using the same strategy. 
Before Aelin knew it Gavriel was announcing the final match-up. 
“Let’s get a drumroll please for our final throw down,” Gavriel stated, drumming his hands on his knees along with the crowd. 
“Representing the boys we have camp 12 and representing the girls we have camp 6!”
The crowd yelled and clapped wildly, Aelin knew she was smiling uncontrollably and was ready to claim her sweet, cold prize. 
“Aelin! Aelin! Aelin!” She heard Lys, Elide, and other girls screaming rhythmically. 
The boys started up their own chant, which Dorian and Chaol joined, Aelin would punish them later. It was then Aelin fully realized who she was facing: Rowan. The adrenaline had blinded her the last few rounds and she had barely processed who was winning and losing. Now, Rowan Whitethorn was staring back at her from the opposite side of the start. 
Even with mud covering much of his body and splattered across his face he was still insanely hot. Aelin hoped the same could be said about her. 
Too soon Gavriel announced the beginning of the final race, a loud whistle filled the air and they were off. 
Once again, Aelin and her girls stuck to the less muddy sides, navigating the course expertly but it seems Rowan and his boys were doing the same. Aelin didn’t spare much time analyzing their positions but she could tell it was much closer than the previous races. Once again, Aelin fought her way up the rope and dangled off the platform to pull up strugglers. She spared a glance at Rowan, he was doing the same. She huffed, “C’mon girls, it's the last time you have to climb this, you’ve got it!”
Aelin finally got the last one over and flopped down the net which was saturated with mud at this point. Aelin was really looking forward to washing this all off later while she ate her ice cream. She then dove into the tunnel, slithering through at a record speed. Next came the home stretch, all she had to do was jump across the logs. She hopped from one stump to another until she was almost at the end. But on the second to last log, the mud that gathered atop it faltered and she stumbled. Cursing, Aelin regained her footing and prayed it was still enough.
Little did she know Rowan had had his own little tumble. Now, they were neck and neck making a final dash to the finish line. Rowan was probably a bit faster than Aelin and she panicked, her instincts to win at all costs taking over. It just so happened that Rowan was just close enough for her to give him a little nudge, to maybe upset his balance just enough that she could pull ahead. Aelin did just that and Rowan went down, his foot slipped into a small ditch of mud water. In hindsight, Aelin felt dirty but not enough to feel particularly remorseful when she heard the roar of victory from the crowd and her camp. 
Aelin turned back and saw Rowan was glaring at her, his foot still submerged in mud. She halted her victory dance and made her way over to him, offering him a hand.
Rowan took it, his large hand dwarfing hers but the feeling of mud squishing between them did ruin the moment for her a bit. Instead of using her hand as leverage, Rowan pulled Aelin towards him and she stumbled, slipping back until she was next to him in his mud pit. 
Aelin saw red, although she realized she probably deserved it and was already covered in mud anyway her temper rose. Aelin was just naturally wired to explode at any moment like a nuclear bomb. 
Rowan, however, kept his grip firm on Aelin’s hand and he drew her forward until his mouth aligned with Aelin’s ear. 
“You’ll pay for that one, Aelin.” Rowan’s breath caressed her ear and a shiver traveled down her spine. Despite the fact he was literally threatening her, Aelin’s heart skipped a beat and her breath hitched.
She kept her bravado about her though and only smirked in response, “It’s on.”
~~~
Hope you’re as excited as I am! All comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated, thank you. 
taglist: @live-the-fangirl-life
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fefipranon · 3 years
Text
Rivamika Fic Preview
Topic: Mikasa, a hardcore feminist, kidnapped by Levi, the leader of one of the most powerful gangs and who is the book definition of a dick.
Mikasa Point of View (P.O.V.)
Here I am, another restless night. Turning on my bed like a hamburger patty being flipped on a grill, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. I can hear birds chirping outside so it's probably already morning but my thick light-blocking curtains make my room look as dark as night. Whoever invented those, has a special place in my lazy heart.
I started hearing shuffling sounds outside the door of my room. These two have no sense of self-preservation, I thought. My two roommates, Eren and Armin, have been living with me for a year now. I met them ten years ago, starting my teenage years, a tragic event brought us together. Since 'that event', Eren's parents took me in as their own and he introduced me to Armin, his best friend since childhood.
We are inseparable, even now as adults. Even though Armin works as an accountant for a law firm, I work as a Computer Engineer for the CIA, and Eren works as a veterinarian, when we are together, we still act like silly kids. I love them like siblings love each other, which means that we also fight like siblings, and right now they are breaking a golden rule.
You see, I love them. I would give my life without a second thought for them, but, there is something I love more: my bed. I can be a charming and decent person, AFTER my morning coffee, and AFTER I wake up on my own. If anyone dares to wake me up from my precious sleep, there will be hell to pay. I am not a morning person, who is it really? Those who said they are, are not to be trusted, they are probably psychopaths and serial killers. I also don't trust people that don't like cheese, how could you not like cheese?! They are probably part of those reptilian people that conspiracy theories warn you about from alien abductions and shit.
I heard Armin's voice, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
I walked to the door to better listen to their conversation.
"She promised to join us for our traditional 'Sunday pancakes' today since she has failed to wake up early for the last four Sundays in a row! It's her fault!", Eren said.
"You know she is not a morning person! She will kill both of us!", Armin said.
I saw the bolt of the door shaking. Eren was clearly picking the lock from my room. He really has a death wish. I stared around my room looking for ideas on how to greet him, and my eyes landed on my hamper which was almost full of my dirty clothes. I walked to it and grabbed two dirty socks and rolled them together in a ball.
"You can still run away and save yourself.", Eren said.
"I will just stay out of her room, and watch how she kills you while eating popcorn then."
No Armin, you are going to get it too since you are not stopping him, I thought. Then, I heard the beep sound from the microwave. He really made popcorn, unbelievable. I rested my back against the wall next to my door, waiting for their intrusion.
"Do you even know how to pick a lock?", Armin asked.
"I've seen it in movies, they open everything with bobby pins on those spy movies so, how hard can it be?", Eren said.
I pinched the bridge of my nose thinking, he can't be serious. But knowing the bastard, he probably was, and I didn't have the patience to wait for him to finally open my door. So I opened it myself.
He looked at me in shock and said, "Mika-"
But I cut him short by shoving to his open mouth the ball of dirty socks. Armin was on the way to the microwave and yelped at the sight of Eren spitting the dirty socks from his mouth and coughing. I gave him a death stare and yelled:
"You are next!"
"Fuck no!", He yelled as he ran to his room with me running behind him.
He got into his room and closed the door before I could get to him.
With a sing-song voice, I said, "Oh, Armiiin, open the door now and I might forgive youuu."
"Bullshit! I will only open the door after you have your morning coffee!"
Suddenly, the smell of popcorn hit my nose making me smile. Armin never got to get his popcorn out of the microwave. He and I have this unhealthy addiction to popcorn for years now. I mean, who doesn't like popcorn? Those are other types of people I don't trust.
I walked to the microwave and took the popcorn out. I grabbed a fan and pointed it directly to the door of his room. I opened the bag and started eating in front of the fan. He will smell it eventually.
"That's a low blow, stinky feet!", Eren said.
"Is that!? Are you eating MY popcorn!!?", Armin shouted.
"Mmm delicious and extra buttery. Thanks for making popcorn for ME, you are so considerate. You shouldn't have-", I was cut short by Armin slamming his door open and running towards me.
I started running away but he tackled me, making me drop the bag causing the popcorn to fly out, "Give me back my popcorn you thief!", he shouted.
"Did you stuck your socks inside somebody's ass?! This smell is not human!", Eren shouted.
Ignoring Eren, I shouted to Armin, "No! I'll take it as a peace offering apology from you two for waking me up!", while we both struggled to get the bag making a mess of popcorn all around the apartment in the process.
Armin managed to run away while Eren grabbed me and tried to get the dirty socks into my mouth when someone knocked at our door.
We all froze, Armin stared at both of us and asked, "Are any of you expecting someone?"
We both shook our heads in response. I ran to my room to get my gun, Eren did the same while Armin watched the door and grabbed the gun we stored in the kitchen for emergencies.
I immediately started thinking of all the possible threats that could be behind our front door. This is all Eren's fault, I thought.
You see... I was deemed a 'child prodigy' at a young age. I started college at the age of 12, my studies were disrupted for a couple of years when 'that event' happened. Later I resumed my studies and by the age of 18, I already had a bachelor's degree in computer engineering. I joined a couple of hacktivist groups and helped them with the usual stuff: DDoS attacks to government websites, machine learning algorithms to find patterns in social media of government bot accounts, you know, the usual stuff.
One day Eren challenged me to hack into the CIA so I started with a social media scan looking for stupid people that post their work information, I just needed someone with access to the building. In summary, after finding a few victims I did a MITM attack on their phones and computers. From there I got access to the network, installed a backdoor, and had access to everything. I did a similar process to gain access to other intelligence agencies' networks from different countries.
Since we were broke at the time, I did ransomware of the data but instead of money, I asked for a job and immunity for the crime. I also sent them part of a list of vulnerabilities in their system and told them that if they wanted the full list they had to comply with my demands. Since I was already deep in trouble I decided to also give them evidence of the access I gained to other countries' intelligence networks. Not even an hour passed by, and they were already begging me to take the job.
Thinking of who could be behind my front door right now, I thought about the time I got access to the Russian 'Federal Security Service' agency and replaced their data with, well, some 'not-so-innocent' pictures. I think Putin hates me. There is also what I did to the North Korean Reconnaissance General Bureau agency... I think Fluffy Kim hates me too.
None of it would've happened if Eren didn't challenge me in the first place! It's completely his fault!
I got out of my train of thought when we were back at the door and Eren asked us, "Ready?"
We nodded in response, and Eren slowly opened the door.
He quickly pointed the gun at the unexpected visitor who was... An innocent girl scout who was trying to sell cookies.
The kid yelped scared, but Eren quickly hid the gun and said, "Oh, we don't want cookies."
"I want cookies!", I protested and pushed Eren away from the door.
"Order for me too!", Armin said.
Author P.O.V.
After getting their girl scouts cookies, Eren started making pancakes while Armin and Mikasa sat in seat stools behind the small kitchen island facing him. They had popcorn on their messy hair, and on their clothes. "You two better clean the mess you made!", Eren shouted.
"It was Armin's fault!", Mikasa shouted while Armin gave her a death stare.
Eren started to stick his tongue out while making disgusted faces.
"What's the problem Eren? Are you having a stroke?", Mikasa said teasingly.
"For fucks sake Mikasa! I have washed my mouth around five times already and I can still smell your stinky socks! Those things are a hazard!", Eren said while walking away to the bathroom to wash his mouth again.
"The pancakes are going to burn!", Mikasa shouted.
"You take care of them, stinky feet! I am on my way to drink some bleach!", Eren shouted back.
Mikasa rolled her eyes and walked to the stove while Armin stood up to turn on the television. While flipping the pancakes Mikasa took a look at her phone notifications and messages. She started looking through the messages from her girlfriend's group chat:
Sasha: OMG! I just saw the cutest guy ever!
Annie: Did you banged it already? 👉👌🍆
Sasha: I wish! I don't even know how to talk to him yet!
Christa: Where did you saw him?
Sasha: He works at a new bookstore that opened near my apartment.
Christa: Did you tried to talk to him somehow? Or just stared at him like a mentally unstable stalker?
Sasha: Well, I asked for book recommendations, he started asking me about what I liked so he could give me a more accurate one but the dick of his boss cut him off telling him to go back to the cash register.
Annie: Maybe we should meet up for lunch to come up with a plan.
Ymir: I just saw that I have new messages. I tried to read them all but my lazy ass just read 'cute guy' and 'bang it already' and skipped to the end. I am up for lunch and the 'banging plan'. Speaking of people in need of banging, @Mikasa wake your ass and join us!
Annie: 😂😂
Mikasa rolled her eyes and replied:
Mikasa: I am awake, count me in for lunch, and the 'banging plan'.
Christa: Girls, call the police, that is not Mikasa, that's an impostor! There is no way that woman is awake this early!
Mikasa sighed and typed,
Mikasa: Eren woke me up, putting his life on the line.
Suddenly Eren's phone made the sound of a new message notification. Mikasa rolled her eyes and thought, here we go.
Eren grabbed his phone, unlocked it, stared at his messages, and started laughing. "Sasha just asked me if you are okay because you are awake. She wants to know if it's really you before calling the police. She also wants to know if I am still alive."
"Hey guys check this out.", Armin said while turning up the volume of the TV.
The news was on. Mikasa served the pancakes on the plates. She took two of the plates and gave one to Armin while sitting next to him. Eren grabbed his plate and sat next to Mikasa. The three of them were seated on the sofa in front of the TV watching the news.
Breaking News:
'We are reporting live outside of Mitra's bank. Just moments ago, criminals robbed the bank and took three hostages with them. The police are tracking their whereabouts at the moment, avoid the area. The perpetrators' identity has been confirmed as the gang that calls themselves "The Scorpions". They are commonly identified with a Scorpion tattoo on their necks, reach out to the police if you see anyone suspicious.'
"These guys again, they piss me off.", Mikasa said.
"They are the same ones that robbed one of the stores of the mall right?", Armin asked.
"Yes, those assholes take hostages with them but they end up always killing them.", Eren said.
"That's the gang that posts the videos about they killing the hostages like is some sort of sick hunting game?", Armin asked.
"Yes, they take the victim to a secluded wood area and tell the victim to run, after a minute or so they run after the victim to kill it, recording the whole thing.", Eren said.
"That's sick.", Mikasa said.
"That's why they are one of the most feared and powerful gangs around.", Eren said.
"It doesn't make sense, the tattoo I mean, who would be so stupid to get a tattoo that clearly dictates that you are a criminal? Why have the police not caught them yet if they have a fucking mark on their necks screaming I'm the killer?", Mikasa said.
Suddenly Eren's phone made the notification sound again. "Oi, Mikasa, Dad wants to meet with us today for dinner, he is in the area."
"Tell him to pick us up then.", Mikasa replied.
-----
Mikasa P.O.V.
I arrived at the restaurant where the girls planned to meet for lunch. As I was walking from the parking area to the restaurant I felt the unease sensation that someone was following me. I've been feeling this for two weeks now. Even though I have gained many enemies by my hacking 'activities', and I joke about Putin or someone else knocking on my door, the reality is that it's highly unlikely that they know my identity. I didn't use my network, on top of it I used nested VPNs mixed with virtual machines with an eastern VPN added on top. Even though the probability of them knowing my identity is almost zero, my job provided me with an apartment in the most secured area in town plus extra police patrols around the building. But, of course, you can never be too cautious, so I always assumed the worst.
I took my phone out and texted my boss: "Activating precaution protocol."
Almost instantly he replied: "I will be on the lookout."
My boss, Pixis, has been very overprotective of me since I started working for the CIA. Since the first day that I arrived at the office and introduced myself, he personally asked to work with me. He was impressed by the stunt I pulled and introduced me to everyone on his team like I was some sort of Messiah sent by Thor itself from the land of Narnia. But not everyone reacted the same way he did when he saw me. It seemed like I wasn't what they were expecting to see since I do not fulfill the stereotype of a programmer. I am not a gamer, I am a ballerina, and what seems to be the worst of all to them is that I am a woman.
The biggest fear of a male chauvinist pig is a woman with confidence having success on a field dominated by men. When will they understand that women can do everything men do while even wearing high heels?
Ever since college, I've heard crap like:
"She probably slept her way in."
"Too pretty to be a programmer."
"A woman in my team? She will probably end up making us do all her work."
"She will probably need to be trained in the most basic crap. She doesn't look like she even knows how to do basic programming."
It's exhausting being a woman, why do we have to put double the effort to at least be noticed or recognized? When will they stop calling us 'emotional' or 'bossy', and start calling us instead 'passionate' and 'leaders'? We intimidate them because they can't control us and they know we have the potential to kick their asses.
I was snapped out of my mental rant when I received another text message from my boss: "Location received. As always, call me if you need to talk."
Good, from now on, until I turn it off, my boss will have a constant live feed of my location using my phone's GPS. Also, in case of emergency, I only have to press twice my phone's power button and in a matter of minutes the police, FBI, and the SWAT team will arrive at my location ready to get rid of any threat.
I can relax now, I thought as I opened the door of the restaurant and met my friends.
"Mikasa! We are here!", Sasha shouted while shaking an arm up to get my attention.
I sat at the table and grabbed the menu, the waiter was already taking the orders so I ordered the first thing I saw that was to my liking. Then I took out from my purse a box of girl scout cookies that I bought for Sasha and gave it to her.
She yelped excitedly and said, "This is why I love you!" while hugging the box.
"So, we've been booked for three schools next week.", Christa said.
Christa was referring to a feminist organization we all created that focuses on motivating girls to pursue a college degree, especially in fields dominated by men.
"I think that it's the most we've had in a week so far!", I said.
"Yes, people are helping by sharing our social media accounts. I have messages of people who want to join us.", Ymir said.
"We should hold a meeting for newcomers, we are going to need more people eventually anyways.", I said, and Ymir nodded.
"So Sasha, what do you have in mind so far to talk to your cute guy?", Annie asked.
"I have no idea, someone needs to distract the manager of the library so he doesn't interrupt us again.", Sasha said.
"Who volunteers as a tribute?", Ymir asked.
"Is the manager at least cute?", Annie asked.
"He was hot but had this unapproachable vibe, and on top of that, a jerk.", Sasha said.
"In that case, I offer Mikasa as a tribute.", Annie said.
"What!? Why me?!", I shouted.
"Because you never get intimidated or scared, and you always speak your mind. That personality is the greatest weakness of self-absorbed jerks.", Annie said.
I stared at her in disbelief while Sasha yelped excited looking at her cellphone.
"Girls! The package arrived! Just received the amazon notification.", Sasha said.
All of them gave me a devilish smile, confusing me, I asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Mikasa, this is an intervention.", Christa said with a serious tone.
"We've noticed that you've been grumpier than usual. We also know that you haven't, well, how do I put this?", Ymir said.
"You haven't had a good fuck in a while!", Annie shouted.
I wanted the earth to swallow me whole right there. Annie said that a little too loud for my liking.
"Where are you going with this?", I asked.
"Well, we bought you a little something to help you deal with, you know, the grumpiness. It just arrived at your door.", Sasha said.
"Are you crazy! You know I live with Eren and Armin!", I said.
"Come on is just a package in your name, they are not going to open it.", Annie said.
"You definitely don't know Eren.", I said in disbelief.
When we finished eating I rushed to my car and drove as fast as I could to my apartment. I ran to the elevator and then ran to my apartment's door. The package wasn't there. I panicked and opened the door and saw Eren about to open it. I ran and tackled him making us both fall to the floor.
"What the fuck Mikasa!", He shouted.
"Why were you trying to open MY package?!", I shouted back.
"Because it could be something dangerous sent from one of your enemies, like Fluffy Kim for example.", Eren said.
"Why would Fluffy Kim send me something life-threatening via AMAZON!?"
"I don't know! Amazon sells some weird shit and they ship from all around the world, I am pretty sure North Korea is included."
I gave him a death stare, snatched the package, and went to my room closing the door behind me.
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I opened the package and found the box of a pink glow-in-the-dark vibrator. I grabbed my phone and wrote in the group chat:
Mikasa: Got the 'package'.
I put the phone down and opened the box. The thing brought batteries and had a little plastic paper that said, "pull here". I think is to protect the device from direct contact with the batteries, I thought.
I pulled the damned paper and the thing started having an epileptic attack. That thing had a demon inside and I didn't know how to do a fucking exorcism! Scared of it, I screamed and dropped it to the floor.
Apparently, Eren heard my scream because he shouted, "I knew it! I am not letting you kill her Fluffy Kim!" while slamming open the door of my room.
I panicked and jumped on top of the frantic thing that looked like it was break dancing on the floor, to hide it.
"What happened?!", Eren asked me.
"Nothing! Get out!", I shouted, trying to stop the damned thing from moving. It felt like I was riding one of those mechanic bulls.
"You screamed! Something happened!!", Eren shouted worriedly.
"What's all the fuss about?", Armin appeared.
"Fluffy Kim sent something dangerous from Amazon to Mikasa!", Eren shouted.
"Fluffy Kim didn't send me shit! Get out!", I said giving a pleading look to Armin.
He got my message and pulled Eren by the back of his shirt, out of my room, and closed the door. I took a deep breath and found the button to turn that demonic thing off. I checked my phone again and read the messages:
Sasha: Yay! You have to name it!
Annie: She's right! Put a name on it!
Mikasa: The thing tried to kill me! I literally just pulled out a piece of paper from it and the thing started to have a panic attack!
Annie: 😂😂
Christa: You can control the intensity, check the instructions! But first, name it!
Ymir: It has to be a sexy name.
I rolled my eyes knowing that they won't drop the subject until I give the thing a name.
Mikasa: Any suggestions?
Sasha: Just think of something that turns you on. 🔥🔥
Something that turns me on, something sexy, I thought as my mind went blank. I started looking around my room. I had a stack of letters and spam stacked on top of my nightstand. I sighed and went through it, I stopped at a promotional flyer for men's underwear. It had a couple of men modeling the underwear. This could work, I thought.
Mikasa: I found a flyer of men's underwear, the models are kind of hot.
Annie: You are messing with us right? 🤦
Sasha: Hold on, she might be onto something. What's the name of the brand?
Mikasa: Levi's, I like it, I will call it Levi.
Christa: 🥳🥳 Now, it's time to let Levi give you a good time!! 🥳
Mikasa: 🤦
I put my phone down and stared at, well, the Levi thing. I still have a couple of hours until dinner, how do I start? Porn? I thought making my mind go into another rant.
Another industry dominated by men, made for men: the porn industry. They try to sell a ridiculous idea of what 'good' sex is supposed to be. They show a man sticking his penis in a woman's vagina with little to no foreplay time. After that, they start going ridiculously fast, like the world is about to end, and start changing the poor woman to different positions like she is some kind of rag doll. They do all of this while ignoring the most important thing: the clitoris. If the poor thing could talk it would scream something around the lines of:
"I'm fucking bored dude!"
"She is faking it!"
"Feeling nothing bro!"
"If I would describe this whole experience with you, I would use the forever-alone meme!"
I locked the door and grabbed the thing, "Let's see, please don't kill me."
-----2 hours later-----
Mikasa: Levi, oooooh Leviiiii!!!!
Annie: 😂😂
Sasha: 🥳🥳🍆🍆🥳🥳
Christa: 😎🔥
Ymir: 💥💦
--------
Author P.O.V.
"Mikasa, are you ready? Dad is already here!", Eren shouted.
"Yes!", Mikasa said, opening the door of her room ready to go.
"Well, someone is in a good mood.", Eren said while raising a brow.
Ignoring his comment Mikasa said, "Let's go, we don't want to make Grisha wait."
"You are right, Dad has texted me like 5 times already since he arrived.", Eren answered.
They took the elevator down and walked by the building lobby. Eren looked at the security guard and said, "That's a new guard right?"
"Yes, he arrived around two weeks ago.", Mikasa responded.
They went out of the building where Grisha, Eren's dad, was waiting for them inside his car.
"We have to make a quick stop at the bank first.", Grisha said.
Mikasa groaned in protest and said, "You know that nowadays you can do mostly all bank stuff through the internet right? I can teach you."
"I need to speak with a manager, is an account that locked me out and they told me to go to the bank directly. It will be quick.", Grisha explained.
"Why do old people avoid using technology?", Mikasa whispered to Eren.
"I heard that!", Grisha said.
They arrived at the bank and Grisha took a piece of paper and started to fill it out with his account information. He told Mikasa and Eren to start making the line for him. He finished filling up his account information and walked to the spot they were in the line.
"I'm hungry, they look like the Zootopia sloths.", Eren said looking at the bank employees.
Suddenly, a loud sound was heard that shook the whole building. Grisha jumped on top of Mikasa and Eren throwing them to the floor. Smoke was coming from everywhere. A huge truck had collided with the bank's main entrance, making a hole. In an instant, a bunch of men with guns, wearing hoodies, and a clown mask entered the building.
"Hands up! And sit on the floor now!", one of them commanded.
Mikasa P.O.V.
Grisha sat on the floor hugging me, and Eren sat in front of me protectively. A couple of the men grabbed an employee and went through a door. After a minute they started going out with black bags. I remembered that I still had my GPS location shared with my boss since lunch. I grabbed my phone and double-clicked the power button, it was programmed to send a high-priority emergency signal to different agencies. I hid my cellphone, pinching it with the inside border of my jeans and pulling my shirt over it. At that moment, one of the men was walking in front of all of us. He was staring at each one of us on the floor.
Eren was covering me with his body when the man said, "You, move!", to him.
Trying to still cover me Eren asked, "Where?"
The man moved closer to him and said, "To the side, now!", and pointed the gun at his head.
Eren hesitated for a moment but then he moved. I was looking to the floor avoiding the man's gaze, hoping that it had the same effect as when a teacher asks a question in a classroom and you avoid making eye contact in hope that he doesn't pick you to answer.
I saw him with the corner of my eye as he lowered the gun and tilted his head. It seemed as he was confused for a moment.
Grisha tightened his hold on me and I saw the man pointing his gun again.
"You!", he said.
I felt a cold metal being pressed against my forehead. When I lifted my gaze I was staring down the barrel of a Walter Q5 Match Semi-auto pistol, held by a man who had... a scorpion tattoo on his neck and grey eyes.
"You are coming with me."
-----------
Want to know what happens next? Check the rest of the story here: 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557422/chapters/67401547
or in Wattpad:
https://www.wattpad.com/980985373-saved-by-deception-encounter
40 notes · View notes
mosswillow · 4 years
Text
New Year. - Mob boss!Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: 18+ adult content, Dark!!!, Noncon/dubcon, manipulation, smut.
Summary: A New Years themed dark Cinderella story.
A/N: this is another quickly written one shot that I threw together today to post. I may revisit this in the future and expand the story a bit but wanted it out today for obvious reasons.
Word count: 1.7k
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“You have until midnight and not one second longer.”
You dart across the street recklessly, not caring if you’re hit by a car. Time is running out. You enter a dimly lit pawn shop and sprint to the counter, slamming down a ring. A shady looking man picks the ring up and examines it, grabbing a magnifying glass and holding it up to the light. He reminds you of a lizard, long and lean. He wears a green suit and his eyes are almost completely red, probably from drug use you decide.
“Where did you get this?” He asks.
“It doesn’t matter.”
The man thrums his fingers on the counter and makes a clicking noise with his tongue. “I’ll give you three hundred.”
“I need four.”
“Three fifty.”
You pick the ring up and turn your back, walking confidently away.
“Fine.” He calls out.
You stop and turn on your heel, holding the ring out for him.
“Make it quick, I have somewhere to be.”
One year ago - New years eve
You attend the annual new year's masquerade every year. The exclusive ball is filled to the brim with wealthy, well connected individuals, most of whom are alleged criminals. You always feel nervous going but go nonetheless. Your father took you several years ago shortly before he died and now you go in his memory, hoping to maybe feel just for the evening like he’s still with you. You put on your dress, a thrifted gown that you were lucky to find, and look at yourself in the mirror.
You look beautiful. It’s rare these days that you feel good about yourself but today nobody can bring your mood down. Today you’re Cinderella, dancing the night away before returning to your ordinary life after midnight comes.
You walk downstairs to find a note left for you. Your step mother and sisters have left without you which is to be expected. You’re thankful for the place to stay and never ask for anything more. They’re not your family and only tolerate you because of your father. Once you find a way out of New York you’ll leave and never look back. You make your way to the street, calling a cab. It’s a little splurge but you don’t want to risk ruining your dress on the subway and tonight is about living luxuriously.
The cab takes you to a decadent hotel and you walk in, marveling at the sheer size of it. Despite growing up in this world, it still feels overwhelming.  Someone hands you a glass of champagne and you take a sip, savoring the taste. You make your way across the room, taking it all in when you bump into him, or more accurately he bumps into you.
“I’m so sorry miss, I didn’t see you there.”
Your eyes meet and there’s a spark, a feeling of intense attraction that you can’t ignore, and you know he feels it too. The noise and movement throughout the room fades and it’s just you and him.
“I’m Bucky,” He says, holding out his hand.
The world comes crashing down as you realize who he is, Bucky Barnes, the most notorious man in the US. He’s young, probably only a few years older than yourself but he holds himself like someone who’s lived a long and difficult life.
“It’s not a problem sir, I’m unharmed.” You smile politely.
He puts his hand up to your face, gently brushing his thumb over your cheek before tearing off your mask.
“What’s your name?” He says, taking a step towards you.
“Beth.” you say the first name that pops into your head.
“Beth…”
“Smith, Beth Smith.”
Bucky smiles “Nice to meet you… Beth Smith.”
You nod and grab your mask away before escaping his company. You keep your distance the whole night despite Bucky’s multiple attempts to corner you and by midnight you’re ready to leave. You hear the countdown as you run from the building, looking over your shoulder nervously before getting in your cab.
Present.
You check your watch as you leave the pawn shop. You have twenty minutes, twenty minutes to make it to bucky’s penthouse or it’s all over. You barely got all the money you needed. You even asked your step mother to help. She refused, unsurprisingly. You were forced to sell everything you own, even the ring your mother once wore, your last keepsake of her.
Six months ago.
You write the order on a cup and hand it to your coworker before turning back to help the next customer. You’ve worked at the coffee shop for years now. You have a college degree but jobs are scarce in your field and you need the money. You’ve sent applications out across the entire country and hope to one day get hired somewhere and move off.
“What can I get for you?” you say before realizing who’s standing in front of you.
“I don’t like being lied to.” Bucky taps your nametag.
“I…”
“I’ve been watching for a few months, making sure you’re the one.”
He grabs the menu off the counter, looking through the different options.
“I want you,” He says nonchalauntly.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Marry me.”
“I don’t know you.”
“If you come with me you’ll live a life of luxury. You won’t have to work places like this.” He sets the menu back down and smoothes his hand over it.
“And what does this marriage entail?” You ask.
“Complete obedience and devotion. You’ll do everything I say, have my children and keep my bed warm. In return you’ll have more money than you know what to do with, more luxury than you could fathom in your pretty little head and my loyalty. You will be my love and my obsession. I will never leave you and never let you go.”
You look at him like he’s crazy, which he most definitely is.
“Thank you for the offer but I’m going to pass.”
Bucky slams his fist on the counter suddenly, making you jump.
“I always get what I want.”
You take a small step back.
“Not this time.”
Bucky stares at you for several moments before taking a deep breath and ordering a drink. You serve it to him and watch him walk out of the coffee shop.
Present.
You jump on the subway and make your way towards Bucy’s penthouse, running like a madwoman trying to make it on time. You look at your watch again and have one minute. Time is running out. You run full speed towards his building, ignoring the ache in your lungs and cramp in your leg.
Three months ago.
“Bucky, stop buying me stuff, I said no already and nothing’s going to change my mind.”
You throw a box of chocolate in Bucky’s face and he scowls at you. He reaches forward, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you forward, whispering into your ear.
“I tried to show you what you could have, how much I could give you. I guess I have to try something different.”
He lets go of you.
“I won’t bring any more gifts.”
“Thank you.” you say quietly.
Present.
The seconds tick away and you finally reach his door. You bang your hand over and over while checking the time again on your watch.
12:02am
One week ago
“Bucky, I know you’re the one who set this up. I didn’t do it, I’m being framed.”
You yell at him, not caring who hears. The police showing up to your apartment with guns and pulling you into the station for hours and hours has left you without any fucks to give. You were about to leave town. You have a ticket ready to leave and start your life over somewhere new. Now you have to turn down a dream job and stay in town due to an ongoing murder investigation of someone you’ve met only once in passing.
“I can cover it up for you… for a price of course.”
You start to turn around and he grabs your arm, pulling you back.
“Here’s the deal. You bring me twenty thousand dollars before midnight new years eve. If you can bring me the money I’ll cover it up and leave you alone forever.”
You look down.
“And if I don’t get the money I go to prison?”
“No baby, you go to prison if you leave this room right now. If you bring me the money you’re free forever but if you don’t I own you. That’s the deal, take it or leave it.”
Your body slackens as you realize you don’t have any choice. Your only chance is to get twenty thousand by next week.
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch, I’m a fair man. I could just kidnap you but I want you to come willingly.”
You sigh.
“I’ll bring the money as long as you promise not to interfere.”
“It’s a deal,” Bucky smiles.
He lets you go and walks over to a small couch, taking a seat.
“You have until midnight and not one second longer,” he says as you close the door to his office.
Present.
You fall to the floor and start crying. Bucky crouches in front of you and puts his finger under your chin, pulling it up so that you’re looking him in the eyes.
“You were so close.”
“Please Buck, it was two minutes.”
Bucky grabs your arm and pulls it up, dragging you into his home.
“A deal is a deal baby, I wouldn’t be where I am now without honoring deals.”
He takes a box from the coffee table and opens it up, showing you a huge diamond ring.
He fixes the ring on your hand, a perfect fit. You stare at the stone, a reminder that it’s all about Bucky. You don’t even like diamonds and you’re sure he knows that. He knows everything about you. From this point on you’re his. He takes your hand and kisses it before grabbing the back of your head and bringing you forward for a kiss. He slides his other hand down between your legs, pulling your skirt up and grabbing your pussy.
“I’ve waited so long for this.”
He pushes you down onto the couch and you take a deep breath before opening your legs, giving him access. He fucks you relentlessly, pushing you toward your own orgasm. Fireworks go off outside the window and you hear the celebrations as people welcome the new year.
“That’s my girl,” Bucky whispers as he pulls you into his embrace.
You listen to the fireworks until they fade and you drift off into a dreamless sleep.
227 notes · View notes
arctic-comet · 3 years
Text
Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics
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Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.
The playlist can be found HERE
Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.
For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.
You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).
The playlist contains a lot of the following:
Music from movie and TV soundtracks
Instrumental music
Remixes
Classics and covers of classics
Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.
Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.
Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:
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Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)
Fireflies- Owl City
Echoes in Rain- Enya
My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)
Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)
Everytime We Touch- Cascada
1000 Times- Sara Bareilles
Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith
In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt
To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor
She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)
Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie
Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse
Commentary:
The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.
The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.
Leave my door open just a crack
Please take me away from here
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
Please take me away from here
Why do I tire of counting sheep?
Please take me away from here
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep
***
Wait for the sun
Watching the sky
Black as a crow
Night passes by
Taking the stars
So far away
Everything flows
Here comes another new day
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
***
"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:
Who can you trust, in this place?
And whom can I put my faith?
If you're real, then show me now,
Who you are
The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).
She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day
Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:
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Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles
So Easy- Phillip Phillips
Incomplete- James Bay
Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)
I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne
Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath
P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)
It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)
I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer
The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics
Commentary:
The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.
"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.
I don't wanna look down
I don't want us to break up in the clouds
All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now
"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.
What you need is a friend to count on
What you got baby you got someone
Who will stay when the rain is fallin'
And won't let it fall on you
P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.
It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.
I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.
Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:
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Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)
All I Ask- Adele
Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)
I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)
Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew
Constellations- The Oh Hellos
Commentary:
For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.
The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.
All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.
I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left
Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is
If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?
***
All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it'll
Never be enough
Never be enough
***
I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me
I know that your love is gone
I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy
Don't tell me that your love is gone
That your love is gone
"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?
Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:
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All of Me- John Legend
(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams
Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)
She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)
Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)
What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)
ivy- Taylor Swift
Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis
Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)
On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter
My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)
The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)
Commentary:
There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.
"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.
"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.
"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.
Losing your head is such a common theme
All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams
Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter
I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter
On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.
Oh, goddamn
My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand
Taking mine, but it's been promised to another
Oh, I can't
Stop you putting roots in my dreamland
My house of stone, your ivy grows
And now I'm covered in you
The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.
"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do
And I was made for you
Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs
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Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo
Burn With You- Lea Michele
The Bones- Maren Morris
Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt
Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)
Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood
“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.
I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that
***
“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.
When the bones are good, the rest don't matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same
When there ain't a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we're facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don't fall when the bones are good
***
“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.
Take me, I'm ready
Go slow but go steady
To a place that we can call our own
I wanna know what feels like home
***
“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.
I wanna love you like the rain on a roof
Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof
I wanna take love to places that love has never been
Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again
And I'll love you again
Oh, and again
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woodsteingirl · 3 years
Text
okay here’s the much awaited (at least for me) first chapter of my multi chapter fic, where we go from here! it will be below the cut but i’m also uploading it to ao3 here
It was supposed to be a run-of-the-mill ghoul hunt. They’d be back in a day at most. But it had been more than a day and Jack was getting worried. Normally he wouldn't be this on edge, but Sam was off the grid with Eileen and wouldn't be in range for a few days. Dean and Cas had gone to Tennessee three days ago to deal with a call from a concerned local authority who got their number after another hunter had stopped by the town to deal with a vampire nest. They’d promised Jack they would call him if they really needed him, but they hadn't been picking up his calls or listening to any of his voicemails. So he did the only thing someone with the innermost thoughts of a four-year-old would. He contacted the first person he could think of that Dean and Cas cared about, minus Sam.
Claire was doing the normal thing to be doing at one in the morning on a Tuesday. Sleeping. She was understandably alarmed when someone knocked on the door at that hour. She opened the door, marine-grade knife in hand (a birthday present from Dean), to a kid no older than herself.
“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing at my house at two in the morning,” she questioned.
“Hi! I’m Jack.” He raised his hand and did a little wave.
“Okay, Jack, still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
“I’m sort of your little brother? Did Dean and Cas not tell you?”
Dean and Cas? Huh. They had mentioned a kid, but she had expected a toddler not a teenage boy. “The god kid?”
“Yeah!”
“Huh. Okay then, so why aren’t you with Dean and Cas right now? They kick you out or something?”
“No, they’ve been on a hunting trip. They haven’t been home or answered any of my calls in a few days,” he shifted his weight from one leg to the other, “I came here to see if you’d help me look for them.”
Claire could see how worried the kid was and if anything she was no stranger to absent parents and she’d stop anyone going through that if she could. Plus it’s not like she had anything better to do these days.
“Okay but you have to let me get the rest of my night’s sleep. I’ll pack a bag and we’ll hit the road tomorrow morning.”
Jack was pretty much beaming at her now, it was evident that he looked up to Claire from what Dean and Cas had told him about her. Kaia, who he regularly talked to, also told him a lot about Claire. She was like the sibling he never had!
Claire already had a bag packed. It was her ‘drop everything, something bad has happened and I need to haul ass’ bag, so far she hadn’t had to use it aside from one time she just didn’t feel like packing a real bag. She didn’t think she ever would have to, but here she was. The stakes of the whole ordeal hadn’t set in her mind until now. If they didn’t find them or get there in time, Dean and Cas could be dead. They could be dead right now. She put those thoughts out of her mind, in favor of the more optimistic outlook of Jack’s probably just paranoid. She still couldn’t sleep very well that night.
Jack was still sitting on the couch in the living room. Claire still lived with Jody and the other girls so he couldn’t do much else without waking someone up. He eventually fell asleep on the couch. He woke up when Claire came into the room.
“You ready to go or what?” She asked.
“Yeah yeah im ready,” he mumbled back, still half asleep.
“Do you want me to drive?” Claire asked.
“I don’t have a car,” Jack said, with a look like it was the most obvious thing in the world that he wouldn’t have a car.
“How the hell did you get here then?”
“I can teleport.”
“I guess I’m driving then.”
Claire put her bag in the back seat and Jack took the passenger seat of Claire’s old Subaru. And they were off.
“So where are we going”
“Dean said they were going to Tennessee for a ghoul hunt. Someone in a small town called them, I’m not sure what town though.”
“Well, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover, then.”
They did have a lot of ground to cover. The seventeen-hour drive from South Dakota to Tennessee was a lot in and of itself, but to try and find Dean and Cas without having a clue where to look was another story.
“Do you want to look in the news for somewhere to start?” Claire asked, not looking away from the road. “Maybe if you found something in our lane we could take care of that and see if they knew anything about Dean and Cas.”
“Good idea.” Jack seemed to be happy just being out of the bunker and having something to do. He pulled out his phone to look at any news, he looked at all the major cities first. There weren’t that many. Nothing in Nashville or Knoxville.
“Heres something! A public works director in Chattanooga ran over the city treasurer with a car.”
“That just sounds like regular murder. Probably for money or something, maybe they wanted the position.”
“Yeah but there have been an increasing number of murder cases there, way more than normal, all in the past two weeks. It’s worth a shot, isn’t it? If it’s not our thing then we can just move on.”
“Chattanooga here we come, I guess,” Claire said. It wasn’t exactly the place she had thought of when thinking of the trip, she’d imagined a lot more action and less investigating a murder in Tennessee. But hey, it’s not for her sake. If it gets Dean and Cas back safe it’s worth it in her eyes.
About another hour passed in relative silence. It was going to get awkward if they were like this for another 12 hours.
“So do you listen to music?” Claire asked, just to break the silence.
“Yeah, I do. Mostly whatever Dean listens to.”
“Well do you want to play something?”
“Sure!” He seemed oddly excited about something as ordinary as picking the music, but he mostly rode in the car with Dean which means other people seldom got their say in what they listened to. Claire’s car had an aux cable which was also more than one could say about Baby. Jack really didn’t listen to much, he would listen to Disney soundtracks on occasion, but those are a sort of ‘listen to it once then it gets annoying’ thing.
“What are your thoughts on lo-fi hip hop beats to chill/study/sleep to,” Jack asked in a way that didn’t really sound like a question.
“There is really nothing else you can think of. In your super powerful angel kid brain, all you can think of is lo-fi beats to chill/study/sleep to.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
Truth be told Claire would rather listen to anything but lo-fi beats at the moment, but when put on the spot like that it’s hard to come up with an idea.
“We could just take turns playing songs for a while.”
It was a flat stretch of land for a good amount of miles up ahead so Claire didn’t need to focus so much energy on watching the road.
They went back and forth, Jack played Rainbow Connection from the Muppets and Claire played Celebrity Skin by Hole, so on and so forth. They went on like this for a while, Jack really liked Abba apparently. They eventually agreed on one of the premade “road trip” playlists on spotify. It was mostly dad rock.
“You still need to eat and stuff, right?”
“Yes, I may be part angel but I still have human DNA and organs.”
“Do you want to stop soon? It might be nice to stay overnight somewhere and just get there in the afternoon.”
“Sure. Saint Lewis isn’t too far away from here.”
They stopped at a shitty fast food restaurant and then went to try and find a motel. Instead of stopping directly in Saint Lewis, they decided to go nearer to Mark Twain National Park, as they figured they would find better luck finding somewhere available without a reservation. And they did. A shabby-looking motel almost directly off the one-lane road. They headed inside and sure enough, there were more than enough rooms. It was by no means the most pleasant place either of them had stayed, but it would do for the night. They’d be out early tomorrow morning. They checked in, the woman working at the desk couldn’t have been more than in her early twenties, which wasn’t what you would think of when you walked in, but they’d seen more suspicious things. Claire dumped her bag at the end of the bed closest to the door.
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lizzielikeborden · 4 years
Text
(ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥ prompts for requests (>‿◠)✌
These are some prompts to use for requests. They have labels, so when you request be sure to use the label and the number so I know which section you got it from. Happy requesting!
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Fluff
1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”
2. “It’s you, it always has been.”
3. “You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”
4. “Kiss me.”
5. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.” 
6. “You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”
7. “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”
8. “I’d do anything for you.” 
9. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”
10. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”
11. “I’m so proud of you.” 
12. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”
13. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”
14. “You are my family.”
15. “I’m right here.”
16. “Can you just please hold me?” 
17. “I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate”
18. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”
19. “You know, I think my (mother/father/parents) would be proud if I brought (you/her/him/them) home.” 
20. “I just want to see you happy.”
21. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile like that in ages.” 
22. “You made me a better person. Thank you.” 
23. “I’d rather live in the woods with you than in a mansion with some (girl/boy/person) I barely know.”
24. “This reminded me of you.” 
25. “Your hair is really soft.”
26. “You’re really warm.”
27. “Are you blushing?”
28. “Can I stay here tonight?”
29. “Because I love you.”
30. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”
31. “I’m never going to leave you. I promise.”
32. “Make a wish!”
33. “I love seeing you smile.”
34. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”
35. “I just want to be there for you.”
36. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”
37. “You’re just a softie.”
38. “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”
39. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”
40. “Why are you scared of loving?”
41. “You are crushing me right now.”
42. “Darling I love you and all, but please step out fo the kitchen.”
43. “I love you.”
44.“You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”
45. “Take my hand. Just trust me.”
46. “You’re hurt. Please just let heal it.”
47. “At least let me clean it.”
48. “I told you to take care of yourself.”
49. “You’re the only thing that matters.”
50. “Stay.”
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Angst
1. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”
2. “You started drinking again, didn’t you?” 
3. “You promised you’d stop drinking.” “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!″
4.“But it’s my fault right?”
5.“I don’t want to feel this. I want to be numb again.”
6.“You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?”
7.“I love you.” “No you don’t”
8.“I can’t lose you.” “You already did.”
9.“Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”
10.“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”  
11.“I loved you.” “Then why did you let (her/him/them) get in between us?”
12.“Maybe they were right, you never did change.”
13.“This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.”
14.“Don’t you dare walk away from this!”
15.“What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused.”
16.“You’ve changed.”
17.“You win, happy?”
18.“Any other lies left to tell me?”
19.“Why did you wait until I moved on?”
20.“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”
21.“Its (her/him/them), isn’t it?”
22.“It’s always been (her/him/them).”
23.“When did you stop loving me?”
24.“Let me go.”
25.“You’re not you.”
26.“I miss the old you.”
27.“What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”
29.“Move out of my way before I make you.”
30.“I risked my life for you.”
31.“I never would’ve thought (she/he/they)’d end up with someone else.”
32.“They were perfect for each other.”
33.“I was happier with you.”
34.“I would’ve done anything for you.”
35. “I loved you. I loved you so so much but you hurt me.”
36.“They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.” 
37.“Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”
38.“You broke me.”
39.“You just threw four years of friendship out the window.”
40.“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”
41.“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”
42.“You promised.”
43.“I don’t need help! I need an end to this pain.”
44.“What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”
45. “Leave”
46.“I can’t keep playing pretend.”
47.“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”
48.“I wish we never met.”
49.“I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”
50. “You scare me now.”
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General
1.“I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.” 
2.“It’s pouring rain why are you here?”
3.“I love you.” “You shouldn’t.”
4.“Where are you?”
5.“What happened?”
6.“Have you been taking care of yourself?”
7.“Is that blood?” “Yes but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”
8. “Is that my book?”
9. “Are they dead?”
10. “You want to play pretend? Well two can play at that game.”
11.“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”
12.“Come back to bed. Please.” 
13.“You’re who they warned me about.” 
14.“Come back.”
15.“You should’ve listened to me.”
16.“I haven’t seen you in days.” 
17.“Are you jealous?”
18.“Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” “You drink everything.” “Cheers!”
19.“Why is there a lion in the room?” 
20.“Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”
21. “Can we take this home?”
22. “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?”
23. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile in months.”
24. “(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.”
25. Come home.”
26. “I hope you’re happy.”
27. “They don’t need to know.”
28. “I made this for you.”
29. “Why is arson always your first answer?”
30. “Is this really the time for jokes?”
31.“Wake me up when it’s over.” 
32.“You look happy.” 
33.“I’m sorry, do I know you?” 
34.“Why can’t I get you out of my head?”
35.“Do you want that?”
36.“Don’t let go.” 
37.“Just let me stay.”
38.“Can I at least tell my side of the story?” 
39.“Do you trust me?” 
40.“Are you flirting with me?”
41.“Is the weight of your sins too heavy?”
42.“Just let me see (her/him/them) one last time. Please.”
43.“Are you afraid to die?”
44.“Are they really ‘just a friend’?”
45.“I wasn’t lying when I told you that I loved you.”
46.“I won’t hurt you.”
47.“Have you been sleeping?”
48.“I didn’t know where else to go.”
49. “It’s not 8:00 AM, it’s 8:00 AM”
50. “We should just play our music louder, then we won’t hear theirs.”- “That’s so much noise.”
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Mental Health
1.“I didn’t know where else to go.”
2."you can talk to me about anything"
3."I don't understand but I believe you"
4."I'll stay with you as long as you need me to"
5."take a deep breath"
6."do you want me to give you advice or do you just want me to listen?"
7."you don't have to go through this alone"
8."I'll check on you again tomorrow"
9."you're not broken"
10."let's take a five minute break
11."I love you no matter what your brain tells you"
12."I'm always here if you need anything"
13."please don't talk that way about yourself"
14."let me know if you ever need a ride to therapy"
15."don't forget to take your medication"
16."it's okay to ask for help"
17."I'll go with you for moral support"
18."I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does"
19."do you want to talk about it or would you like a distraction?"
20."you're safe"
21."there is always hope"
22.“I will do this with you, you’re never alone”
23.“No one is perfect.”
24.“I will sit outside this door for hours if that helps.”
25.“This is not your fault.”
26.“You do not owe anyone an apology.”
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Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”
1.Holding their hands when they are shaking.
2.Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.
3.Traveling long distances just to see them.
4.Making their favorite meal when they are having a hard day.
5.Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.
6.Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.
7.Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.
8.Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.
9.Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.
10.Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.
11.Telling them a dumb joke just to see their smile.
12.Following their family traditions that they enjoy.
13.Singing and dancing to their favorite song.
14.Calming them down when they have a bad dream.
15..Having a tickle fight until you’re breathless.
16.Folding their clean laundry and putting it away.
17.Sharing a soft smile across a crowded room.
18.Bringing them a plate of their favorite sliced fruit.
19.Washing their back/hair in the shower.
20.Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.
21.Listening to them while they vent.
22.Taking a picture together to print and hang later.
23.Tracing your names together in the sand.
24.Wearing clothes in their favorite color.
25.Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.
26.Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.
27.Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.
28.Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.
29.Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.
30.Pulling a chair out for them to sit down at the table.
31.Wrapping a blanket around them when they are sitting on the couch and watching a show.
32.Throwing away their piles of tissues when they have a cold.
33.Mending an item of their clothing that was ripped.
34.Running out in the middle of the night to get a food item they’re craving.
35.Helping brush their hair after a shower.
36.Making sure to be quiet while they’re taking a nap.
37.Letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt.
38.Giving them your dessert when you eat out because it’s their favorite.
39.Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh.
40.Giving them space when they express wanting to have some time alone.
41.Holding their hand while walking, even if there isn’t a crowd.
42.Holding shopping bags that are too heavy for them.
43.Standing between them and a busy road.
44.Rubbing the back of their hand with a thumb.
45.Giving them a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed.
46.Staying up half the night to finish a game with them.
47.Getting them a coffee just the way they like it.
48.Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.
49. Buying them a special treat when you go out shopping.
50. Watching shitty horror movies 
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harryssunflowerkiwi · 4 years
Text
‘KIWI’ Part 2.
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Pairing: Harry Styles x female reader.
Synopsis: You see Harry again. he’s still smitten and you’re horny.
Word count: 8.1K
Warnings: swearing, drinking, drugs (cocaine; mentioned in some detail), and SMUT (unprotected! Wrap it up pls), and slight pain kink. 18+
A/N: Hello! I hope you’re doing good :) here’s part two!!! Yay!! Thank you to those who liked part one. I truly am having so much fun writing this. Sorry it took me 80000 years to post this, I took a break! But it’s here and I’m so happy. Also, this is my first time writing smut! So please be nice but let me know what you think. Again, please keep in mind that this is PURE FICTION and is in no way an accurate dipiction of Harry Styles! It’s just for entertainment purposes. Also! For the purpose of the story, please pretend kiwi was not part of HS1 and instead part of his third (unwritten) album :) With that being said, i hope you love this part as much as I do xoxo
PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT :)
🥝 Outfits mentioned in this part 🥝
Words underlined are links !
PART 1
——————————————————————————
September 12th 2020~
It’s nine days since Harry had met you, nine long days. For him the days since have been filled with long studio hours and sleepless nights. Every night he’d come home and wonder when he’d get the chance to meet you again, he’d think about what you were doing and if you were thinking about him as much as he’d been thinking about you. Surely you hadn’t, he thought. If you had been interested you would have given him your phone number, like all the other girls had jumped at the chance to do. He tried to stay humble, but he wasn’t oblivious to the effect he had on women. It was obvious, atleast it always had been before. They all threw themselves at him, but you didn’t. You didn’t even give him a proper excuse to why he couldn’t have your number. You showed him very little interest and yet, here he was completely infatuated after one simple meeting. Sure, meeting you gave him enough inspiration to write songs which was initially the reason he went to that party. But it only left him wanting to do whatever he could to get the chance to see you again.
The days since the party have been rather stress filled for you on the other hand. With London fashion week coming up in less than a week you had so much work to do. You had a fashion show on the seventeenth to prepare for and dozens of custom outfits for various celebrities to finalize. It was both exhausting and exhilarating. You had thought about Harry, he’d pop up in your head whenever a song of his would play in the office or in the coffee shop you went to almost everyday. You felt the spark when you two had met, of course you did. He was incredibly attractive, charming, and kind but you didn’t have time to be dating a celebrity of his stature. You have a buisness to run and the last thing you need a bunch of insanely nosey fans bullying you along with the heartbreak of the inevitable break up.
Harry was sitting in the studio with Mitch, Sarah, and Charlotte recording. The three of his band mates were in the booth recording their respective parts of a song Harry had written a few months back called “30,000 miles” while Harry was sat on one of the black leather couches just outside the booth attempting to write. Although he’s been able to write a lot about you, he’s only gotten one song even remotely close to being finished. Most of what’s he’s writin since meeting you has come out more like journal entries about how your eyes made him quiver and how when you hugged him he felt like your touch was exactly what he’d been missing thus far. It all sounded like a horny fourteen year old, Harry thought. He needed to see you again for his feelings to repourpose themselves into more coherent emotions. Harry had been wracking his brain on how to make that happen since the two of you met, and the only thing he could think of was to ask Jeff. The only problem with that, however, was that Jeff would more than likely tell you and make Harry look desperate. And even though he was bordering on desperate, he certainly didn’t want you to know that.
Harry was lost in thought (about you of course) when Mitch came out of the booth and sat in the dark blue velvet armchair directly across from Harry. “Still having trouble dude?” He asked sympathetically bringing Harry out of his little trance. Harry sighed and moved his gaze away from the small leather bound notebook he was writing in to focus on his friend.
“S’ just hard man. S’neva been this hard before.” Harry said as he closed the book.
Mitch nodded and mumbled “it’s probably because you’ve never been single while tryna write”. Harry put his palms over his face and let out deep chuckle.
“Fuck, you’ve go’ a good point” he agreed as he sat lower into the couch.
“Are you interested in anyone at all right now? I mean I don’t think I’ve seen ya single for this long in forever” Mitch pointed out as he reached for his water bottle from beside the sound board. Harry sighed deeply, ran his right hand through his curls and gave Mitch a little pout.
“Who is she dude?” Mitch asks with after letting out a loud laugh at his friend being overly dramatic.
“Y’ remember y/n? The designer fo’ KIWI?” Harry responds, leaning forward and rests his left palm under his chin.
“Fuckin hell H. Wasn’t that night the first time you met her?” Mitch says with a grin, obviously teasing Harry.
“I know, I know. S’fuckin ridiculous but I can’ stop thinking about her” Harry replied as he slouched himself back into the couch shoved his black raybans off the top of his head so they were sitting on his nose, covering his embassment.
September 13th 2020~
Today is Sunday, which means it’s Harry’s day off. He didn’t really know what to do with the day but he was still extremely happy to have time to relax and try (and fail) to not worry about everything. He woke up at ten this morning, actually allowing himself to sleep in to make up for the various all nighters he had been pulling throughout the last week. He dreamt of you but not in the way he’d want, not one of those erotic sex dreams where he could make all his needs come true. No. In his dream you were with someone else, and he kept trying to talk to you but you couldn’t hear him or you were simply ignoring him. Either way it didn’t feel good but for some ungodly reason he’d still woken up with a raging boner. “Fuckin ‘ell even the thought of her wit’ someone else gets me off” he grumbled with a groan in frustration as he rolled out of bed.
As Harry was making himself breakfast, chopping yellow grape tomatoes on the large oak cutting board that sat on the marble counter next to the stove, he heard his phone ring. He looked around to try and spot where the ringing was coming from as he’d forgotten where he’d put it. He spotted it on the island behind him and to his left. He sprinted over to it and quickly answered with his left hand, wiping the tomato juice off the fingers on his right hand off on his blue sweatpants. “Harry here” he said realizing he hadn’t checked to see who it was before answering.
“Harry! I’ve got great news for you mate” Mitch’s deep American accent rang through the phone.
“Wha’ is the good news Mitch?” Harry asked as he sat at one of the light blue quilted stools that sat at the island, suddenly feeling slightly anxious.
“I’ve just found out KIWI is doing a show for London fashion week, it’s this Thursday” Harry could practically hear the grin on Mitch’s face through his voice. A fashion show? How could he get an invite four days before the show? Would he even get the chance to see her if he did? Won’t she be busy? Won’t she think he’s weird for going? Harry’s mind was filled with questions he knew Mitch wouldn’t have the answers to.
“Dude?” Mitch’s voice snapped Harry out of his panicked thoughts.
“Gotta go man, thanks for telling me” Harry mumbled before hanging up quickly.
After a few hours of debating with himself and trying tirelessly to forget about the idea all together, Harry found himself sat at his dining table with his phone open to Jeff’s contact. He stared down at the phone resting against the mahogany wood dining table trying to convince himself this was a bad idea. However, his efforts were in vain in the end. He glanced at the time in the right hand corner and it showed 12:41AM. He pressed the call button so quickly he himself even doubted if he’d done it at all, but evidently the calling screen came up and he brought it to his ear. Letting out a huge sigh at the forth ring, figering Jeff wouldn’t even pick up at this time of night. “Hello?” Harry almost dropped the phone when he’d heard Jeff’s voice on the other end.
“Um h-hello, Jeff s’ Harry” he stuttered slightly, still not really believing he was going through with this.
“Yeah H, I know. What’s up?” Jeff chuckled loudly.
“Oh umm so you uh know y/n right?” Harry asked trying not to seem to eager.
Again, Jeff laughed a bit before saying “you like her don’t you?”. Harry groaned internally at his friends ability to gudge his feelings based on his voice alone.
“Doesn’ matter, was jus’ callin’ to see if you could get meh a seat at the KIWI show on Thursday” Harry said as more of a statement rather than a question, feeling his confidence peak its head again.
“H, that’s in four days” Jeff responded without hesitation.
“Yeh I know, I jus’ ave’ to be there alrigh’?” Harry asked as politely as he could without making it obvious he was trying desperately to avoid any further questioning.
“Alright, I’ll see what I can do”.
September 14th 2020~
Today was incredibly busy for you. There were only three days till your show and you still had so much to do to make sure it would be perfect. You were currently at the office that you rent out for KIWI. The space is nice, modern and open with a slightly acclectic feel to match your taste. There were 3 separated offices, the smallest was for your assistant Grace, another for the head of public relations for the company who’s name is Gretchen, and the largest one at the end of the hall was yours. You decorated nicely, but kept it minimal as to not cause to many distractions. You only came in when there was issues you couldn’t deal with from home or when you just felt like getting out of the house to work. You liked to keep your company small, only hiring people who you really trust for jobs you couldn’t handle yourself. Even though KIWI is incredibly successful, you were generally able to manage it with little help.
At 7:13AM you arrived, greeting Grace and heading straight to your private office telling her to follow you. Once sat in your large brown leather chair Grace started giving you the rundown of who’s called, what there is to do, shipments, etc. “Jeff Azoff called early this morning, he left a voicemail asking for your availability. I told him to call back at 11 just before you go out for lunch as that is your earliest availability today” she relayed as she stood nervously (she was pretty much always nervous, even though she’d been working for you for over two years).
“Okay, did he mention what it was about?” You asked wondering what he could possibly need that he wouldn’t just call your cell.
“No, but he did say it’s urgent” Grace responded with a small nod.
At a quarter to eleven your desk phone rang, you picked up at the first ring already sitting right next to it typing out an email on your laptop. “Mr. Azoff on line 2” Grace said on the other side.
“Great, thanks Grace” you responded before hanging up and switching to line two. “Hey Jeff” you said as you closed your laptop.
“Hi! How’s it going y/n, haven’t talked since the party” he asked seeming quite cheery.
“I’m good Jeff, why are you calling through KIWI? Why not just call my cell?” You questioned rather confused.
“Ah because you told me not to call your cell for matters concerning KIWI-” he said as if it was obvious.
“Right, but you you’ve only ever called regarding KIWI to get pieces for one of your clients and you usually go through Gretchen” you cut him off, still extremely confused.
He chuckled before saying “Well If you’d stop cutting me off I’d tell you why I’m calling. I need a front row seat for your show on Thursday”. Well, that was certainly not what you thought he’d say. He’s never asked for a seat at one of your shows, let alone a front row three days before it happens.
“What? Are you insane? It’s in three days. Why on earth would you need a front row seat?” You asked, now even more confused.
“It’s not for me, it’s for Harry. C’mon I know you can bump someone back a bit, it’ll be good publicity having him there” Jeff said calmly. You had to do a bit of a double take when he mentioned Harry’s name, why would Jeff need him to be there this last minute? He had surely already been invited to the Gucci show on the same day. You sighed
“I don’t know, the people I put in front row deserve to be there. Any of them would take it as an insult to be put in second row”. You heard hum quietly on the other side of the phone
“y/n if you put Harry upfront it’ll be good for KIWI, you know I’m right” he continued. You let out a frustrated huff, you knew he was right. The paps would have a field day with him missing the Gucci show to come to yours, but you already had so much to deal with.
“Was this your idea or his?” You asked, genuinely curious. “He asked me to, but I think it’s an incredible idea for both of you” he said confidently.
“Fine, call Grace to set up the details. I’ll have an outfit sent to Harry by Wednesday morning just email me his measurements. He can’t be showing up to my show in Gucci” you replied sternly, giving in.
Harry was at the studio when Jeff called him. He was going over some adjustments for ‘30,000 miles’ with Kid Harpoon when his phone rang. “Jeff! Any news?” He said hopefully after picking up as soon as he was Jeff’s contact.
Jeff chuckled at the boys eagerness “Mhm you’re lucky I’m so good at convincing people, you’ve got a front row seat at the KIWI fashion show this Thursday” he said proudly.
Harry stood out of the leather rolling chair instantly and yelled “Wooooo!” Slightly starting Kid and causing Jeff to laugh through the phone.
“I’m glad I could get it for ya H. They are sending over an outfit for you to wear and I’ll have a car at your place on Thursday at 6PM sharp to pick you up.” Harry smiled widely, taking in the information as he sat back down.
“Thank ya’ Jeff, y’ the best manager eva’”
September 17th 2020~
Today is the big day. Of course it’s not your first runway show but the nerves never lessen, every time it gets more intense and nerve-racking. The cloths you design are your heart and soul, your blood sweat and tears, your everything. This makes showing them off to critics and the entire world terrifying but exciting. Not to mention you’ve decided to walk as the last model for the finale, which makes the whole thing even scarier as you’ve never really walked a runway as a model.
For some reason the knowledge that Harry was going to be front row made you all the more anxious and you hated it. No man has ever made you nervous at your own damn fashion show, it’s rediculous. “I don’t even like him” you said aloud to yourself as you were in the car on the way to the venue. Luckily by now your driver knows well enough to keep his mouth shut when you talk to yourself.
Once you arrived at the venue it was half past two. You always show up hours before the show to help set up, get all the outfits in place for the respective models and make sure everything is absolutely perfect. You’d spent months designing the way you wanted the show to look, clothing aside. The catwalk is all white, ensuring that all the colors included in the collection pop as they were meant to, especially once photographed. Above the runway are large fixtures that are meant to look like clouds, giving the whole collection an airy out-of-this-world feel. Which is exactly what you had planned when designing it.
Backstage was hectic and stressful, as it always was. The models all arrived at three, giving everyone enough time to get hair and makeup done in time for the show. The makeup and hair you had chosen for this collection was simple, yet bold. Nothing to extreme to not take away from the clothes.
Harry was incredibly excited for the show, more excited than he had been for a fashion show since the first one he attended. He was there to see you, but he was also elated to get to see the collection. He’s never been disappointed by the pieces you’d designed. Even before his newfound crush on you. You were exceedingly talented and fantastic at what you do, he’s known that since long before he met you. The suit you’d sent for him was breathtaking to say the least. He absolutely adored it. It was a black suit, with gold lining and silver flower embroidery all along the jacket. It made him feel like a billion dollars.
Harry arrived just before the show started, not to seem to eager in case you came to survey the venue before it started. He found the seat with his name on it and grinned widely as he sat. His seat was right at the end of the runway where the models would turn before walking back. It was the ideal spot really, and it gave him butterflies thinking that you gave him the best spot. The venue was nothing like he’d ever seen before and he was sure you had something to do with that also, because it was breathtaking.
Time went by like a blink of the eye for you, what seemed like twenty minutes turned out to be an hour. You were ushered to the hair and makeup chair to prepare for the finale. For some reason all your nerves had dissipated, completely vanished into thin air as you sat and listened to the makeup artist compliment you on how incredible everything looked.
After forty minutes in the hair and makeup chair you were being dressed. You had chosen one of the only gowns in the collection for the finale, wanting to go out on a memorable note (even though you considered every piece in the collection to be memorable). The gown was a floor length fully hand embroidered black and gold gown. Each embroidery was done by you. It had long sleeves with the same detailing and it was sinched perfectly around your waist with a large solid gold plate. The gown was the piece that inspired the whole collection, taking almost six months to make. You were very proud of it and you felt incredibly sexy.
As your stylists were putting you in your black pumps, one of the coordinators came over and said “miss y/l/n is on in five”. You took a deep breath, attempting to mentally prepare yourself. You followed the coordinator towards the entrance to the catwalk. You felt eerily calm, you knew you should be freaking out but you weren’t. You felt incredible.
“3..2...1.. here comes y/n for the finale”
Harry was thoroughly enjoying the show, each item was completely perfect. Everything was cohesive but wildly different, anyone with working eyes could tell how much thought and attention to detail was put into everything. Even the styling was uniquely perfect, each model wore the pieces like they were made for them. Not a single thing looked out of place, everything belonged in a rabelious harmony and Harry was completely enveloped in it. The music stopped playing as the last model walked out, Harry looked around as another song started playing. Assuming this was the finale, Harry sat up straighter and grinned. Excited to see whatever you had planned. As the beat dropped in the song, all the models came walking out in two lines. One on the right and one on the left. Once the two front models came to the end of the catwalk they all stopped and slowly bowed their heads. Harry’s heart was beating so fast he thought he might actually have a heart attack. Then all of a sudden you walked around the corner and stepped onto the runway and Harry’s heart stopped completely. You were walking towards him like you had walked a million runways. You looked so powerful and sexy. The gown you wore was nothing short of breathtaking, a fine piece of art and the way it fit your body made all the blood rush towards his crotch.
As you reached the end of the catwalk you looked directly at Harry, who was sitting right night to the main camera. You gave him a quick knowing smirk, obviously seeing the pure shock on his face as you turned around and started walking back towards the entrance. God, you felt fucking incredible. Each model followed you one by one off the runway before the music stopped.
September 23rd 2020~
The last three days went by relatively fast for you. The show went exactly how you wanted it to and it was nothing short of perfection. All the press had been incredible and the critics were being positive which wasn’t always a given. There’s been a lot of buzz about the gown you wore, in fact, there’s word of the national art museum of London wanting to showcase it which is unbelievable. All your success has been skyrocketed, even from what it was at before. Having Harry at the show helped with the media buzz, they always went crazy when he was around but it did start rumours of the two of you dating. Especially after the pictures from the show were released and it was very obvious he was staring at you in such a way. You didn’t really care though, all publicity was good publicity.
It was Wednesday today, and you decided to work from home this week because you were still pretty exhausted from all the work you’d done in preparation for the show. Your day had been relitively slow, answering emails and drawing out some new designs for spring. You were sitting at your desk drawing out a coat design when your phone started ringing, you glanced at it and saw Glenne’s name pop up. You smiled lightly and picked up up.
“Hello?” You greeted her.
“Hey y/n! How are you?” She asked cheerily.
“I’m great G, just finishing some work. How are you?” You asked as you sat back in your chair.
“Great! So the reason I’m calling is because Jeff and I wanted to throw a party for you to celebrate the show. Obviously we need you here for that” she giggled, obviously excited.
“Aw of course I’ll come. What day is it?” You asked.
“It’s Friday night! It’ll be at the Hilton hotel, just give them your name. We’d like everyone to be there at nine if possible” she responded.
“Okay! I’ll be there at seven babe” you said as you stood up to look in your fridge, suddenly feeling hungry.
“Harry will be there” Glenne said knowingly, slightly drawing out the end of his name. You laughed as you shoved a slice of cheese into your mouth.
“And?” You asked.
She giggled again, “he’s been asking about you a lot lately, and we all saw him at your show. You two are obviously fucking” she said in a mocking tone.
“G! We are not. He’s just obsessed with me” you chuckled, rummaging through your fridge for more snacks.
“Oh stop, who isn’t? Plus you guys would be adorable together!” She responded loudly through the phone.
“G, he’s the relationship type and I’m so far from that, you know this” you said sternly.
“Y/N you don’t even know him, how do you know he’s the relationship type?” She asked giggling at your tendency to assume you know people immediately upon meeting them.
“I’ve heard his music, G. Anyways, I’ve got to go make something to eat before my stomach eats itself. I’ll see you Friday”.
September 25th 2020~
As soon as Jeff told Harry about the party they were throwing for you he was ecstatic, knowing he’d get a chance to actually speak to you. Since it was a celebration of you and KIWI, Harry decided to wear some of the pieces he owned that you designed. It took him about 30 minutes to decided on which of your designs he wanted to wear, hoping you would appreciate the gesture. Jeff had already assured Harry that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing KIWI at the party when he brought up the idea to him, which made Harry feel more comfortable. Eventually he decided to wear a two piece set you’d designed last season. It was Harry’s favourite. It was a long sleeve button up shirt and long perfectly fitted trousers, both made out of a beautiful sparkly blue fabric with a light contrast stitching. 
Upon arriving at the hotel Harry noticed that there were many cars parked out front and all down the street, way more than there had been at the last get together. He assumed it was because you would have invited more of your circle this time, as they were celebrating you. Harry made it up to the penthouse where the lady at the front desk had told him to go, and was greeted at the door by Jeff, quickly giving him a hug and ushering him into the large room. “Sorry I’m a little late, had some issues with m’ car” Harry apologized to Jeff with a small smile, both of them fully aware that he was indeed late because he takes so long to get ready.
“S’all good man, it’s just getting started” Jeff chuckled lowly as Harry followed him through the foyer and into the large open living room, where it seemed most of the party goers were. It was a pretty busy, around 80 people from what Harry could see. Through the crowd his eyes landed directly on you. You were talking to a small group of people, some of who Harry recognized. You were sitting on one of the big couches on the right side of the open space, you were slowly nodding while sipping from a glass of dark brown liquid. You were wearing a gold sparkly jumpsuit that hugged every inch of your torso in the most flattering way possible and flared at the from the knee down. Half of your wavy hair was effortlessly pinned back with a brown claw clip. You looked so beautiful, you stood out in the crowd of other beautiful people. Your energy and vibrancy completely overpowering the room.
As soon as Harry entered the living room with Jeff your attention was taken away from the group of friends around you. You immediately noticed that Harry was wearing one of your personal favourite designs, and you could tell he had spotted you aswell. As if he was looking for you, he smiled widely as you made eye contact. “Excuse me guys, I’m going to grab another drink” you smiled at the group before standing up and walking across the living room diagonally towards the open concept kitchen to the left of the living room. You purposefully glanced at Harry as you walked passed him with a cute innocent smile.
As soon as you entered the kitchen and bar area you felt someone behind you, you turned on your heel being met with Harry a few feet behind you. “Ello love” he greeted you with his deep English accent, “congratulations on the show, ‘t was incredible” he complimented with a genuine smile on his soft pink lips. You smiled back and slowly looked him up and down, observing his body in your design.
“Thank you, Harry. I’m glad you liked it. Lovely choice by the way” you said as you motioned towards his outfit with your hand.
“T’was hard too choose which one to wear if I’m ‘onest” he replied with a low chuckle as he stepped towards you a bit.
“You made the right choice, it’s one of my favourite designs I’ve done” you complimented as you leaned against the large marble counter, placing your almost empty drink on it “fits your body perfectly” you continued as you met your gaze with his again.
“It does doesn’t it?” He asked cheekily as he pulled at the top a bit with his ring clad hands. “Y’ look incredible, love the jumpsuit” he flattered as he moved about a foot closer, leaving only a few inches between the two of you.
You smirked “so charming” you replied as you gently touched his cheek while holding strong eye contact. You could feel his heart beating against your arm. You stared at each other for a few more seconds, almost as if you were having a conversation solely through eye contact.
“You need a drink” you smiled as you let your hand fall from his face and you spinned around as you made your way over to the bar.
Harry was completely stunned as he watched you walk over to the large bar, quickly grabbing all the ingredients for whatever drink you had decided he should drink. Being so close to you only moments before made his mind blur and his heart race. How could you just walk away when it seemed as if you were about to kiss him? Most people would jump at the chance. But he assumes most people would also jump at the chance to kiss you, he certainly would. He was taken out of his thoughts by your sweet voice. “Harry” you called for him from the bar, his name sounding like heaven coming out of your mouth like that.
“What’d ya make me love?” He asked as he walked over to you. You held out a glass filled with dark brown liquid and a single large ice cube in it.
“A Manhattan, it’s my favourite” you blinked sweetly at him, the sides of your mouth tugging up at the sides as he grabbed it mimicking your smile before taking a sip and making a face as though he’d just taken a shot. Your smile grew.
“S’very strong love, but good” he assured you.
“Mmm what’s the point of a drink if it’s not strong enough to burn” you replied, not as a question but rather a strong statement again hitting him with that beautiful stare. You picked up your own drink (the same as the one you’d made for him) and said a quick “cheers” before downing most of it. Harry was about to say something but was quickly inturrupted by a group of people entering the bar area.
The group consisted of a few people Harry knew, immediately recognizing Lizzo, ASAP Rocky, Gigi and Bella Hadid but there were a few others with them he didn’t know (or atleast didn’t recognize). The smile on your face grew into a wide grin as Bella squealed and said your name, engulfing you in a bear hug. “Bells!” You giggled lightly into her shoulder before releasing from the hug.
“The show was incredible Y/N. You’re a fucking genius” she praised as she walked behind the bar, still smiling widely.
“You walked in it love” you reminded her, giggling as you went to greet Rocky. The two of you hugged tightly before releasing, Rocky’s hands going up to cup your face.
“You killed it baby, just like you always do” he said as he kissed your nose. You could feel Harry’s eyes burning into the side of your head as he chatted along with lizzo.
“Mm thank you Rocky, you know you’re my muse” you grinned wider as you kissed both his hands in appreciation.
Harry couldn’t help but watch your interaction with Rocky, you seemed so comfortable, so intimate. Harry felt a pang of jealousy run through his stomach at you calling Rocky your “muse”. He brushed it off with a clearing of his throat as he turned his attention back to lizzo. “You good H? Uh oh. Y/N made you one of her manhattans didn’t she?” Lizzo laughed loudly looking down at the drink in his hands before hitting Harry’s shoulder playfully, the question bringing your attention to them.
“Hey! My manhattans are world renowned Mel” (Lizzo’s real name is Melissa) you said proudly as you took a few steps forward, closing the distance between you and the couple. You pulled Lizzo in for a hug “m glad you came” you said as the two of you pulled apart.
“Of course! The collection is legendary as per” she replied genuinely. You thanked her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning your attention to Harry.
“If you’ll excuse Harry and I, Mel. He was just about to escort me outside for a smoke” you informed her, all well making full eye contact with Harry.
“Mhmmm you two have fun, come get me for shots later”
Harry followed you outside onto the large open balcony, watching you greet people on the way, doing the same if he knew the person. As soon as the two of you stepped outside Harry watched you take a deep breath, tipping your head back slightly to take in the fresh air. It looked almost erotic, even though it was just a simple action it made all Harry’s senses tingle. “How do’ya know Rocky?” Harry asked seemingly out of nowhere, it almost shocked himself. He knew he tends to get jealous rather easily, and maybe even a little possessive but usually it only comes out with people he’s exclusive with, not a women he’s never even kissed. And yet, there it was. He tried to sound casual but worried he failed terribly. You turned your head to him with a slight smirk before licking your lower lip and chuckling slightly.
“Oh, we’ve known each other for a long time. Met him at a party when I was first starting out” you said nonchalantly before grabbing a pack of cigarettes off the small table that sat on the deck. Harry nodded, understanding that you were in no way going to give away the nature of yours and Rockys relationship.
“I listened through your album again this morning” you admitted, effortlessly changing the subject back to him while taking a long drag of the cigarette you had just lit. Harry tried his best to hide the grin appearing on his face as he stared at you,
“did ya?” He asked waiting for you to continue your thought.
“Mhm. Listened to it in the shower” you hummed, as you leaned forward against the railing in front of the two of you, taking in the view and breaking eye contact.
The thought of you listening to Harry sing while completely naked in the shower made his skin feel like it was on fire and all his blood rush down to his groin. “What’s y’ favourite song?” He asked, leaning his back against the railing right next to you and looking down at your face. You looked up at him and hummed in thought.
“She” you said with a thoughtful, almost devious smile before standing up straight and putting out your smoke.
“Let’s go do shots, yeah?” Harry nodded with an amused smile as you grabbed his hand and pulled him back into the hotel.
Four shots and two hours later Harry found himself sitting on one of the couches to the right side of the open living room, watching you dance along with your friends in the middle. You looked so free, so careless, so magical. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, trying to listen to whatever Jeff was trying to tell him to his right. “You’re not paying attention are you man?” Harry heard Jeff ask through a laugh as he followed Harry’s eyeline straight to you. Harry pried his eyes away from you to look at Jeff
“sorry mate. I’m listenin’” Harry told him, not really trying to be convincing.
“She’s an actress y’know. Not literally, but she knows how to get what she wants, she always has. But she’s got a good heart, just be careful alright?” Jeff said to him, patting his knee before standing up and walking over to glenne who was stood at the other side of the room.
Harry sat, watching you as he went over what Jeff had said to him a few moments ago. “She’s an actress”. Did he have to be careful? You didn’t look dangerous, but you did scare him a little. Not because he thought you’d physically hurt him or anything, but he knew if he’d let you, you could dig deep into his already fragile heart. Break it, possibly like it hadn’t been before.
Harry was brought out of his thoughts by seeing you turn your body towards where he was sitting, breaking yourself out of the group of friends that surrounded you. You made eye contact with Harry and motioned for him to come to you with your perfectly manicured right hand. You weren’t smiling, but he could see a glint of something he thought was amusement in your eyes. He got up and walked over to you. “You motioned fo’ me love?” He asked as he approached, a small smirk apparently on both your lips.
“Mhm, come” you said as you offered him your hand. He took your small hand in his as you ushered him through the growing crowd.
The two of you walked all the way through the living room, and passed the kitchen before entering a smaller room to the left of the kitchen. As you entered Harry took in his surroundings, it appeared to be an office space. There was a glass table in the center of the room with a large plate decorated with multiple lines of white powder on it, along with three chairs; one blue velvet and the other two grey of the same material. There were a few other people in the room, but Harry didn’t recognize them. “Some privacy please loves” you said aloud, asking them to leave Harry and yourself alone in the space. The strangers immediately obliged when they saw you, muttering greetings as they exited. You turned around to face Harry who was standing only slightly behind you.
“do you fancy a line Harry?” You asked, your hand coming up to touch his shoulder lightly.
“S’ a party innit?” He agreed, making you smile all too innocently given what he was agreeing to was quite the opposite. You walked over to the plate of narcotics, picking up the metal straw from beside it before holding it up to your nose. You bent over the table, flipping your hair over to the right side to make sure it didn’t get in the way as you breathed in deep through your nose inhaling a thick line of the powder. Harry watched as you stood up straight, tipping your head back and inhaling through your nose to make sure you got it all. You let out a cheery giggle before holding the straw out to Harry. He took it and did the same.
Just as Harry stood up straight you gently carressed his left cheek, staring into his blown out pupils. “God, you’re somethin’ else” he spoke just below a whisper, only loud enough for you to barely hear. He brought his large ring filled hand up to your waist as your hand fell from his cheek to his neck. He applied pressure to your waist encouraging you to move so your bum was pushed against the glass table. Once you obliged he moved even closer to you so your noses were practically touching, his hand moving to smooth itself over your back to hold you in place.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked, his voice much lower and more raspy than it had been. His eyes filled with desperation and lust. Instead of responding you giggled lightly and pulled him in by his neck, connecting your lips. The kiss was slow and messy, but filled with an undying passion. Your left hand squeezed his neck slightly, egging him on as one of his hands went to cup your jaw while the other one steadied on your waist. You opened your mouth slightly, inviting him in which he immediately took advantage of, sliding his tongue into your mouth. Both your lips were slightly numb from the coke but it did nothing but intensify the feeling. He tasted like whiskey and peppermint, making your head dizzy (in the most incredible way). You let your hands drop down to his waistband, slowly untucking the button down from his trousers and beginning to undue the buttons. Your eagerness made a low groan erupt from the back of his throat, feeling his boner growing rapidly at your touch. You broke the kiss as you finished unbuttoning his shirt, both of your breathing unsteady. He watched as you ran your hands up his torso slowly before pushing his sleeves off his wide shoulders. You made eye contact with him as he went to kiss you again, you stopped him shaking your head. You bent your head down slightly and licked his chest, starting from the top of his butterfly tattoo and ending just under his jaw. The feeling driving Harry completely insane with lust, goosebumps appearing all over his body as he let out a throaty moan
“y’ drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy” he said as you came up, standing up straight.
“Sit” you spoke, pointing at the large blue velvet chair next to you, not breaking eye contact. You could still hear the booming music and people taking from the other rooms as you watched him sit. You turned around so your back was facing Harry as you undid the tie that held up the top part of your jumpsuit letting it fall down, exposing your entire torso and back.
You heard Harry mutter a low “fuck” as you turned around and positioned yourself on top of him, successfully straddling his lap.
You could feel the exceedingly large bulge through his pants pressing against your crotch as he began kissing down your neck and towards your breasts causing you to moan slightly.
“Please Harry” you said breathlessly, giving him some control as you began slowly grinding back and forth against him.
“Tell me princess. Tell me what ya want” he raspily requested as he gripped onto your hips with both his hands, guiding your movements.
“I want you to fuck me harry, I want you to use me” you said still grinding against him while looking down slightly into his eyes as he stared back up at you. Without hesitation he lifted you, firmly holding onto your bum as he stood up and set you down on the table.
“Lift up love” he ordered, you leaned back on your hands and lifted up for bum so he could pull down the remaining part of your jumpsuit. After discarding the material to the side, taking your nude pumps along with it, he took a moment to take in your practically naked body. You grinned widely at his reaction as he began to grope your boobs, once again connecting his lips with yours. You reached your hands down to undo the button of his pants, using your skilled fingers you got them down in record time. You looked back up at him to see his eyes already staring at you. You placed your hands on either side of his face while his still ran along your nude body.
“Please Harry, I need your cock” you whispered seductively causing his whole body to go into overdrive.
He quickly pulled down his already undone trousers and boxers before sliding your peach coloured thong to the side, feeling your dripping pussy with his index finger and letting out an animalistic groan. You watched as he grabbed his large dick with his left hand, lining himself up at your entrance before turning his gaze back to your face. You both held eye contact as he entered you. The feeling completely overwhelming both of you, you leaned your head back, gripping roughly onto his back as you both let out a strangled moan. “Fuck” you moaned “you’re so big”. Your words egging him on, he picked up his pace pumping in and out of you slow but rough. He kept his focus on your face, watching as you moaned his name and praised him. You looked like a complete wet dream, your eyes barely open, your head tilted back as you stared at him through your eyelashes refusing to break eye contact.
“Good girl.... y’ take me so fucking good” he moaned, his ringed fingers digging harshly into your hips as his grip tightened. You lifted your head and moved your hands to his neck pulling him in closer so that his face was not even an inch away from yours.
“Harder Harry, fuck me harder” you moaned, completely out of breath. He started pounding into faster, all the sounds of the hectic party just outside completely drowned out by the sound of his balls slapping harshly against you and your shared moans. You finally broke eye contact when you leaned your head to the side and began leaving messy wet kisses along his jaw before meeting his neck with your mouth. You bit down roughly onto the skin of his neck earning a throaty moan from him. You licked over the spot you’d just bitten, soothing the pain a bit before he pulled your head back, balling your hair into his fist so you would look at him.
“Dirty little princess y’ are... leavin’ marks on me” he growled into your mouth before rejioning your lips to his and continuing his relentless pace with his hips.
You could feel your orgasm approaching rapidly, the overwhelming tingling travelling all throughout your body, all your senses becoming increasingly clear. “Y’ gonna cum fo’ me love?” He asked as he felt your walls becoming even tighter around his shaft. You nodded rapidly.
“Such a good girl... s’ fuckin tight” he said in between breathless moans.
“Cum fo’ me princess, I wanna feel you” he repeated, moving his right hand from its place on your waist to rub your clit, matching the pace of his hips. You could feel it happening, your vision blurred, your toes curling, your legs shaking rapidly as you dig your nails deep into Harry’s black, holding on for dear life.
“Fuck, Harry. Fuck” you repeated over and over as you came hard around his thick cock.
“Fuck Y/N, y’ gonna make me cum” he moaned into your neck as you held onto his shoulders.
“Cum for me harry, please” you whispered in his ear between moans of your own. You could feel his body start to weaken as he twitched inside of you, about to cum. You wrapped your legs around his hips tightly and pulled him in closer as he let out a loud raspy moan. You felt thick ropes of cum shoot deep inside you.
Once he came down from his high he kept his head rested on your shoulder, your arms and legs still wrapped tightly around him, both of you desperately trying to catch your breath. After a few seconds you both released, your legs falling down beside his as he stood. You made eye contact and you giggled lightly making him smile boyishly. Both of your hair a complete and utter mess, breathing heavily, and completely naked. The plate of cocaine that once sat on the side of the table was now shattered on the floor. “Your insane” Harry said before he laughed looking around the room, really taking in everything that happened. You laughed with him as you hopped off the table and walked over to where he had thrown your jumpsuit and shoes.
“I’m going to assume you meant that as a compliment.” You said as you pulled your jumpsuit up over your nude body.
“F’ course love. You’re a fuckin minx” he complimented as he buttoned up his shirt.
“You’re not so bad yourself, Harry” you shot back with a quick wink as you finished putting you shoes on.
End note: Ahh thank you so much for reading!! I’m kind of nervous about posting this, so please let me know what you thought! I’d seriously appreciate it. And if you liked it please please reblog :) I know the ending is kind of abrupt but it’ll make sense in the next part. Also, there will be ANGST coming up !
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