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bluecollarmcandtf · 6 months

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Humiliating the Cop

The University Officer at my college is always riding my ass for "bullying." Apparently some wimps went crying to him after I teased them around. Now he's constantly watching me. The dude needs to chill, and I'm gonna make him!

All it'll take is a confrontation with my handy hypnotic pendant. One look at the gem dripping down my neck and his mind will be ripe the picking!

"Yo, Officer!" I call his attention and march right up to the goody-two-shoes. He looks just as high-and-mighty as ever.

"Something going on?" he gives me a disapproving glare, "You causing trouble again?"

"Wouldn't dream of it, big guy," I pull the pendant out of my shirt, "Just wanted to show my favorite piggy something."

He grimaces and opens his mouth, but before he can deliver his comeback, his eyes catch sight of the glowing jewel on my neck. The tension in his body relaxes while his jaw drops open. He looks like a brain dead idiot, but that just means he's ready for some instructions.

I start to explain his new job to him. Things are going to be different around here. This cop's not going to be the high-and-mighty enforcer of justice he used to be, and there's nothing he can do but nod his head dumbly and agree!

A week later I catch sight of the cop carrying a bucket of soapy water down the hall. Some nerd I'm intimidating squeals for his help.

The officer just shakes his head, "Sorry, I'm busy right now. I have to go scrub graffiti off a stall in the men's room."

"That's my art, piggy. You like what I spray painted in there?" I chuckle.

"Oh, it was very well done," he answered quickly, searching my eyes for approval, "I didn't realize it was yours, sir. I'll just leave it alone."

The dweeb I have pinned against the wall is dumbfounded and asks again for some help before I interrupt, "Jesus, tell this kid to just shut up and hand over his lunch."

The cop nods and turns a stern face to my victim, "Son, be quiet and give him what he wants, now."

After handing over his packed meal, the student scurries away. I obviously had the officer wrapped around my mean finger. I used him to help me bully a few other kids throughout the rest of the week. I even had him vandalize the principal's car for me, but I wanted him to fall a little further from grace..

Most of the cafeteria snickered quietly behind the officer's back. I put him in another trance that morning, telling him that his new responsibilities as campus security was to "Mop up the messes before anyone else can."

He spent all day running around the hallways with a mop and bucket. During lunch, I knocked the food out of everyone's hands and enjoyed watching him crawl behind as he struggled to keep up with each new mess.

By the end of the day, a few of the more outgoing football jocks had joined in on teasing the man.

"Yo, officer," the athlete chuckled, as he poured a soda out onto the floor.

"Yes, sir?"

I have him calling everyone 'sir,' now. He's basically lower than everyone on the totem pole now. Even still, I thought he could drop lower...

After a quick discussion with the police chief, I had him fired from the department. Don't worry though! I got him a job as a janitor at the school. He works for free, but at least he's got something to do all day.

Using the hypnotic pendant, I essentially took over his life. I had the police chief hire me in the cop's place. I moved into the man's lovely home, and acquainted myself with his beautiful wife. After, introducing her to my glowing necklace, she quickly realized that I was a million times better than her disgusting husband.

He still sees her every once in awhile when he comes over to clean the place, but he's not allowed to speak to women anymore. She only talks to him when she's criticizing his janitorial capabilities, anyway.

I've got to say that I'm a much better officer than that annoying prick ever was. At least, I have a lot more fun using the uniform than he ever did. Call me sadistic, but I'm still thinking of ways to bring the guy down a peg...

#hypno story #humiliated slave #mind control

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 1 year

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The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot's Masterlist

The first 100

M6 reacting to drummer!MC

When MC's familiar was a gift from Lucio

M6 as cartoon comedy tropes

M6 and Guardians of the Galaxy

M6 opening jars

M6 sneezing

M6 and cinema snacks

M6 uncontrollably laughing

When M6 break something

M6 as wet cats

M6 attachment styles

Wearing M6's clothes

Seeing their plushies

When MC falls asleep weird

When MC has a loud nose

M6's least favorite foods

M6 as funny dogs

When M6 mistake someone else for MC

Reading MC's poetry about them

When MC has a sparrow familiar

M6 with lipstick prints

M6 being chased by a goose

Calling the M6 "babygirl"

When MC has a massive bat familiar

M6 doing the ice bucket challenge

M6's nicknames for their kids

M6 responding to "guess what? I love you!"

M6 when a sheep tries to ram them

When MC has a tiny dragon familiar

When MC doesn't know their limits

When MC's familiar wants M6's attention too

When MC is on anesthetic

When MC has a lion familiar

"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

When MC has a sheep familiar

Trading familiars with the M6

When MC has a thick accent

M6 getting sunburnt

When M6's kid uses MC's nickname for them

MC with a horse familiar

"Excuse me, they asked for NO pickles!"

When MC makes a "deez nuts" joke

M6 as soda brands

MC dragging the M6 mushroom hunting

When a kid shares TMI with the M6

When MC briefly becomes a lobster

M6's sleeping positions

M6's vacation impulse buys

When MC cracks their joints

When MC gets hyper before bed

MC with nocturnal cleaning habits

M6 as socks

MC giving M6 one of their inventions

MC baking for M6

M6 sitting habits

When MC is scared of goats

When MC and M6 have close birthdays

When MC and M6 speak different languages

When MC is allergic to M6's familiars

M6 bathing their familiars

M6 finding out that MC is Lucio's younger sibling

When MC gets migraines

M6 with an MC with vitiligo

When MC faints on a hot day

When the familiars become human for a day

When MC looks scary but is a sweetheart

M6 with a blind MC

M6 with a fainting MC

M6 with a sleepy MC who can’t sleep

M6 body swap

When MC sunburns easily

M6 when MC gets lost in a library

When MC gets drunk and vibes in the rain

When MC imitates the M6’s familiars

When MC collects vacuums

When MC is always prepared

M6 when MC narrates their life like a documentary

With a plague beetle familiar

M6 and more quotes

When MC moves a lot in their sleep

M6 in hot weather

M6 on “Candy or Not”

M6 being their child’s first word

When MC asks for a lawyer

M6 go ghost hunting

LOTR marathon with M6

When MC doesn’t listen to M6’s warning

When MC holds onto M6 in their sleep

M6 in a horror movie

When MC likes to climb trees

M6 celebrating Halloween

M6 with an “act now, think later” MC

When MC has selective mutism

M6 using canes

MC picking up M6's habits

M6 helping MC with their "childish" fears

MC asking for a kiss after a bad day

When MC is great with kids

M6 playing Among Us

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mrsjellymunson · 1 day

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Thank you for being "I don't know what those stains are..." I've been meaning to ask it to someone because I'm Hella confused actually, wHaT aCtUaLlY aRe ThOsE sTainS? Did he pee or wot

SFW answer👇👇 | (NSFW 🔞 MDNI answer)

BAHAHAHAHA this is legit the funniest ask I’ve ever had, so thank you for that.

Now, I should warn you that I’m a former scientist, so I’ve probably thought about this waaaaaay more than most. Possibly a disturbing amount... But, you asked 😉 so here are my thoughts (SFW, but be warned, they may gross some people out 😜):

- As you suggest: Pee. Perhaps Eddie got really wasted after Corroded Coffin’s first properly successful gig, and lost control overnight?

- Soda/cola. An obvious choice because Eddie would definitely snack and drink in bed, and get overexcited about music or song lyrics or a campaign or something, and spill this stuff all over the place.

- Given the colour, they could also be orange juice, Capri Sun, Fanta or Sunny Delight. I reckon Eddie would absolutely love brightly coloured, sugary drinks!

- Soup. Perhaps from when Eddie had an especially bad fever, and Wayne let him eat something way too watery in bed. He sat up, had a few sips, and then passed out face down in the bowl, so not only did he get it all over the mattress, he also got pieces of carrot up his nose too.

- Poop. Maybe Eddie indulged in one too many of Wayne’s speciality chilli chocolate brownies, and it affected his bowels? Or, he ate a suspect-looking egg sandwich, or a casserole that had been sitting in the fridge for faaaar too long… 😬

- Vomit. Likewise, this could be an effect of too many of those chilli chocolate brownies or old food, and too much booze could also play a part in this. The locations of the stains does lend credence to this theory, given that he might be either lying on his side, or trying to barf over the side of the bed (I watch a lot of forensics programmes, and this helped to contribute to this particular theory 😆).

- Yoohoo. We know he loves this stuff, so it makes sense that there’d be accidents involving this as well. The worst thing about it though - it has dairy in it, so if he doesn’t clean it up really, really well, after a while, that stuff’s gonna smell 👃🤢

- Ice cream. I think he’d be less likely to spill this because it’s such an expensive treat, but you never know…

- Cough syrup. That boy is probably sickly. A diet of mac’n’cheese, pretzels and Mountain Dew will do that to you (eat your vegetables, kids!) So anytime there’s a bug going around, Eddie catches it. He hates the taste of the medicine Wayne tries to give him, and one time when he was struggling to get it away he slapped Wayne’s hand so hard that it fell, and the whole bottle emptied onto Eddie’s bed. It was gross and sticky, and his bedroom smelled of aniseed for a month.

- Sweat. He’s a feral little pumpkin and will try to get out of self-care at every opportunity. And the aircon in the trailer has never been that great. So during the summer, that boy sweats buckets, all over his sheets.

- Drool. He’s definitely a starfish sleeper and a fidgeter, and he spins around at night, often ending up facing the opposite way to how he started. I think he’s also a drooler - he gets so relaxed that his mouth drops open and it dribbles out. From the positions he gets in and how deep he can sleep, there’ll be patches of drool all over his bed.

- Pet food. It’s practically canon by this point that Eddie feeds the stray cats that frequent the trailer park (and maybe even a couple of raccoons too…). One time Wayne came home to find Eddie feeding a momma cat (who he names Joan, after her jet black fur) that’d apparently snuck into the trailer to have her babies under his bed. She obviously thought the old socks, torn shirts and dust bunnies were preferable to the undersides of the trailers or the insides of burnt out cars. Wayne can’t see the attraction, but who is he to question nature? Eddie helps the momma with her kittens and makes sure she’s well cared for and has enough to eat and drink, and she eventually becomes tame enough to come up for food on his bed. She’s a messy eater though, often spilling her food out of the bowl, and more than one of the kittens has a little ‘accident’ up there too, but Eddie couldn’t be happier. Eventually they all grow up and move on, but Eddie never forgets Joan, or Scooby, Dio and Hetfield. Hetfield actually comes back to the park some time later to have kittens of her own (yep, Hetfield turned out to be a girl), and although she chooses a different venue to be her maternity unit, she does allow Eddie to get closer to her and her kittens than anyone else.

IN CONCLUSION: My personal feeling is that given the complex nature of our perfect little demon, and the length of time he’s most likely had that piece of furniture, it is probable that the stains are a complex combination of all of the above.

And the reason he brushed it off to Robin? (Yes, I’ve thought about this too…)

(a) some of the stains are embarrassing in nature.

(b) some of them are just gross.

I hope you like this possibly overly detailed examination of what I think Eddie’s mattress stains could be. Which is your favourite?

*addresses taglist, moots and followers* See? 👆 *points to this absolute lunacy* You see what happens when you send me brilliant ridiculous hilarious I love it questions?? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???

NSFW 🔞 answer (for over 18s ONLY)

@joejoequinnquinn @jamdoughnutmagician @curlyjoequinn @madaboutmunson @airen256 @sunshinepeachx @the-unforgivenn @skrzydlak @comeonatmebruh @jamiecb66 @80s-addict @abellmunsonmovie @definitionwanderlust @sheneedsrocknroll92 @munson-blurbs @wonderlanddreamer @daisy-munson @maedesculpaeusoubi and @celestialbat because of our shared love of Eddie+cats 😸

#lovely asks #Kittie’s asks #TYSM #I don’t know what those stains are #Eddie munson’s mattress stains #we know what they are eddie #some of us have spent way too long thinking about it too #headcanon #EM HC #Eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #Kittie’s HCs #Eddie munson headcanons #Eddie munson HCs #HCs #ST HCs #stranger things #wayne munson #Eddie munson + trailer park cats

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blueiskewl · 6 months

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Lost and Found: Bottle Hunter Digs Extraordinary Farmland Treasures

Tom Askjem is a time traveler. Every May to November, he disappears into the bowels of the earth, descends to depths of 13’-plus, and returns to the surface with treasure—bottles and glassware from farming’s past.

After 1,800 pits and hundreds of thousands of relics, Askjem is equal parts archeologist, thrill seeker, and mole. Muscle on dirt, the North Dakota farm boy has turned an addiction into a career, multiple books, and a captivating YouTube channel with millions of views. However, Askjem seeks more than glass.

“I’m digging for adventure, history, and love,” he says. The past is in these holes and there are countless numbers of them across farmland.”

Time to hunt with a master.

The Infection

On the flats of extreme eastern North Dakota’s Traill County, Askjem, 32, prepares for a dig trip. “No mountains and no hills in the Red River Valley,” he describes. “You can see your dog run away for days. The land is mostly featureless, other than a few big cottonwoods and shelter belts where farms used to be.”

A mop of blonde hair sits atop a 6’-tall, lanky frame as Askjem saddles his pony—a Honda Civic. At the current mileage rate, the Civic will be junkyard fodder before it has a scratch: 60,000 backroad miles added to the odometer in the past six months.

Askjem piles layers of gear into the trunk, including three of each tool for insurance: shovels, pronged garden forks, trampoline pads, probe rods, buckets, plastic scoopers, trowels, tents, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, air mattresses, clothes, and waterproof, Redwing leather work boots.

“It never gets old,” he says, wearing a wide grin. “I caught the infection when I was a kid.”

Digging Bodies

Pushed from the Grand Forks area by the historic Red River flood of 1997, Askjem moved to a farm outside Buxton at six years young. The main property was an 1878 homestead—a progression from sod house to log cabin to the present standing 1898 farmhouse decked in Victorian-era woodwork and hardware.

Surrounded by history, including the skeletons of old wagons and rusting machinery, Askjem explored a 5-acre patch of woods on the property, and chanced on a garbage dump: pop bottles and trash.

Askjem dug.

“I went deep and found stuff going back to 1898. When you’re a kid living in the country, there’s no going down the street and there’s no hanging with friends to play video games—you make your own adventure. I started hitting up all the farmers I could find for leads.”

Behind the wheel of a rattling go-cart, Askjem sought Buxton old-timers and collected tips on abandoned houses. “They all helped me,” he says. “Nobody cared where I hunted because I was just a little kid exploring for all the right reasons.”

“I’ve still got an elementary school journal with an assignment describing my weekend,” he adds. “I wrote, ‘Me and Mom dug up old bodies.’ The teacher marked my paper out of concern,” Askjem describes, with an easy, deep chuckle. “I meant to spell bottles, not bodies. But it shows I was truly hooked.”

Indeed. Wonderfully hooked.

Soft Landing

Why are bottles buried under farmland and old house sites?

Prior to plastic and synthetics, glassware held everything: medicine, hygiene products, alcohol, soda, and beyond. Glass was it.

Additionally, prior to waste disposal services, homeowners discarded trash on-site—in back yard outhouses, trash depressions, burn pits, and wells or cisterns. In short time, the various ground receptacle spots were filled and forgotten.

“Let’s say, for example, a family moved in around 1880,” Askjem explains. “That site likely has two or three outhouse locations prior to World War l. The outhouse spots filled up at a rate according to family size. I dug one farmhouse site that had six outhouses in a 10-year span. Folks went into the outhouses and threw away bottles: medicine, opiates, beer, whiskey. It was convenient and private, and had a soft landing, and got covered quickly. Even now, the bottles often are still preserved.”

“Generally, these houses also had a burn pit and/or dump pit. In the early days, they burned all trash in the stove for heat. Also, homestead bucket wells were filled up with trash and bottles once they were replaced by pump wells. Cisterns also were eventually filled up, but most of those are associated with houses in town.”

And the sites remain, he emphasizes, hiding intact relics beyond the reach of farm machinery or tillage equipment.

X Marks the Spot

Location. Location. Location. Other than a tip or invitation, how does Askjem find dig sites?

X marks the spot, at least in the county courthouse or public library. He spends winters poring over early property transaction documents. “I look at lot sales. If several lots sold for $100 each in 1880, but one sold for $1,000 in 1885, the price climb tells the story and likely represents a building location.”

“I also read old newspaper archives, looking for hotel or business advertisements,” Askjem continues. “Then I can look up the proprietor’s name and keep tightening the scope, narrowing down the exact building location.”

“Every single house is different, but generally, in the countryside, outhouses were 30 paces out the back door. In the city, where most lots were 140’ long, outhouses could be as close as 5-10 paces.”

Confident of a site’s potential, Askjem first asks for permission to dig from the landowner. “Property owners are always so kind to me and I don’t hide anything I find. They’re curious about what is in the ground, just like anybody else.”

Second, he grids out the site. “I put down markers 2 paces apart, maybe 20 paces long. I push probe rods into ground and feel for compaction differences. Depending on the location, I’ll call in and have utility lines marked out for power and gas.”

Decked in Levi’s and a tank-top, it’s time to tunnel.

Claustrophobic Comfort

Shovel in hand, Askjem descends into a layer cake of dirt: black topsoil to brown-colored clay to telltale ash to a use layer containing treasure.

“Generally, I go deep to find old items in quantity. The earliest bottles were used to the last drop by farmers and thrown out empty. Therefore, when they froze in brutal Dakota winters, the glass didn’t break from liquid expansion.”

As Askjem extracts glass vessels from the dirt and grime, his encyclopedic knowledge registers with each find. He recognizes the type, manufacturer, and age. Ink bottles, hygiene bottles, medicine bottles, beer bottles, soda bottles—and far more spill from the holes.

“I find patented medicine bottles across the country, but my favorite are soda bottles because they are unique to their locale and have character. The old soda bottles are usually marked with the bottler and town name because they were returnable.”

The outhouse pits are typically 6’-deep at home sites, with an average size of 6’-by-4’-by-3’. “I’ve dug ghost towns, dug saloons, train depots, and pool halls that were 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 8’ deep. I remember a hotel pit that was 20’-by-20’ and 8’ deep. There was a military fort with pits behind the barracks that was 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 13.5’ deep: That was a week’s worth of digging.”

Askjem’s subterranean realm provides no comfort to the claustrophobic. At 8’-9’, he braces the holes with woodwork. “I’m in a solid clay base that doesn’t cave, but I have a healthy respect for the ground’s limitation. Sometimes, it looks like I’m digging a rabbit hole.”

Preserved in nature’s freezer, the artifacts unearthed by Askjem often are in phenomenal condition.

“Pieces of newspaper can still be read; bottle labels are legible; white lime used in decomposition is visible; and undigested seeds are everywhere. Even 120-year-old human waste sometimes is perfectly preserved and still smells like hell. I wear a hydrogen sulfide respirator in those cases.”

“It’s all there; almost like it was dropped yesterday.”

Ghosts in the Ground

In 2022, Askjem began chronicling his digs via a YouTube channel, Below the Plains, and soon captured millions of views. At two posts per week, he gins footage at a steady rate to feed the algorithm, a tough task considering the ground in his geography is frozen from mid-November to mid-May.

Additionally, Askjem has written two in-depth books (Nebraska Soda Bottles 1865-1930 and A History of North Dakota Bottling Operations 1879-1930) and has more on the way. “I put the bottle prices in the books because they can sell for a whole lot and I always tell the landowners. Listing prices draw criticism, but that’s important to me because it helps preserve the item, and preservation of history is what drives me.”

Covered in dust or mud at the end of each day in digging season, Askjem is highly respectful of what he finds—almost reverent after 1,800 digs. “I appreciate everything I uncover because it represents a part of someone’s daily life and existence. There’s nothing wrong with coveting bottles, but I’m really in those holes for the moment of discovery.”

Even when not digging, Askjem is on the move, surfing on the coasts or river diving for lost cargo. In the decades to come, will he continue burrowing into the past? “Twenty years from now, I hope I’m still digging and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing right now.”

“There’s not an infinite amount of lost bottle sites, but there’s certainly an incredibly high number,” he continues. “There were 300,000 homestead farms in North Dakota with a minimum of one well, one outhouse, and one trash dump. And that doesn’t include towns where most of the population lived. There are millions of these sites in North Dakota and far more in other states.”

Respect to a freewheeling hunter like no other. Bottles draw the eye, but ghosts draw the heart: “The moment never gets old when you uncover a bottle and find that history,” Askjem adds. “Never.”

By CHRIS BENNETT.

#Lost and Found: Bottle Hunter Digs Extraordinary Farmland Treasures #Tom Askjem #glass #glass bottles #ancient glass #ancient artifacts #archeology #archeolgst #history #ancient history #history news #treasure #treasure hunter #antiques #bottle hunter #long post #long reads

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honoviadakai · 6 months

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Foods I think Team Urameshi enjoys 🍜 😋

This post is kinda inspired by/a continuation of this post I made about Hiei so please enjoy my thoughts on the rest of the team’s taste in food!

Yusuke:

If the live action did nothing else, it definitely established that Yusuke’s a ramen guy 😂

He likes both the instant stuff and the traditional kind but the latter is his go to if he can afford it

The instant ones are good but they doo remind him of his childhood when either his mom didn’t have enough money to feed him properly or she was too intoxicated to feed him properly

He also really likes American food

If you get him a good burger, some fries and some soda, he’s your friend for life

He LOVES a good cheesy pizza! The greasier and cheesier the better

Honestly he just LOVES heavy, greasy, heart food

It makes him feel full and weirdly energized

He could eat an entire family bucket of fried chicken by himself, sides and all, and feel pumped up for a good workout 🏋️‍♂️

He also loves spicy food

His spice tolerance is average but he genuinely likes the burn 🔥

If he sees a spicy challenge, he’s gonna do it just to see how far he can go

He’s currently at a level 7 out of 10 on the 🌶️ meter

He’s also very open to exploring weird food combinations and food from other cultures

This includes food from the demon world

He actually kinda likes food from demon world, he just feels like it could use some more spices

Catch him trying Nutella and bologna because Chu swears that the last time he went to the human world he tried it and it was delicious

…he actually tried it…and he liked it…

9 times out of 10 he’s gonna try and actually like the cursed foods you recommend to him

Kuwabara:

He’s a big sandwich connoisseur 🥪 🧐

He just likes how customizable and portable they are

Honestly he likes meals that are not only balanced, but a comfort to the soul

So things like stews, ramen, soba, curry and pasta dishes

One of his personal favorites things to both eat and make are bento boxes 🍱

He loves making them for his friends and family for a number of reasons

For one, it’s his way of making sure his loved ones are eating enough

Some of his friends come from low income households that don’t always have enough money for food

He made sure that whenever they hung out, they were always well fed

He also learned how to make bentos from his mom and sister

He really enjoyed the cooking lessons and he enjoys the warm fuzzy feelings he gets when he feeds his loved ones

The one food he won’t make or consume is anything spicy

He can’t handle spicy food and doesn’t feel confident enough to properly make a spicy dish

Honestly he can’t eat anything spicier than a jalapeño

But he will try to beat Yusuke and Hiei in spice challenges

…my boy never wins and I don’t know why he thinks he will at this point 😂

Kurama:

Like seemingly everything else about this guy, his palate is very refined

He likes expensive things like lobster, caviar, and liver tartare

Part of why he likes it is Yoko has expensive taste and old habits die hard 😂

In Yoko’s correct opinion, if you’re gonna feed him, you might as well break out the good stuff

The other reason is that a lot of these foods have very strong flavors and he enjoys that every now and then

That by no means mean he hates “Lowe quality” foods

He use to eat McDonald’s as a kid

He liked it

Still eats it from time to time

Not as often as Yusuke does, but like…if friends invite him out for a burger, he’ll eat it

Big enjoyer of fruit, grows it himself actually!

The fresher the better 😌👌

He loves ice cream! 🍨 specially strawberry, vanilla and most fruity sorbets

He actually has a bit of a sweet tooth tbh

Thank his mom for that cuz she’d give her baby boy sweets if he looked at her with his big puppy eyes

Mf didn’t even have to say a word

She’d either buy them or make them for him

Even into his adulthood, he can demolish a tray of cookies and macaroons on his own

The difference is that as a child he didn’t care about his weight or how much sugar he’s eating

As an adult, he absolutely cares because he wants to stay in shape and also his body is technically human so he doesn’t wanna deal with diabetes if he can avoid it

Now he also technically grew up with demon world food when he was Yoko

Demon world food is whatever you can find that’s edible

So usually it’s other demons and edible plants/produce

Some of which does that pretty good

But a lot of it is more for survival than taste

He’s absolutely had to eat a bug demon before and not only did it look gross, it tasted gross!

But it was either that or starve…

And believe me…he did debate it…but food doesn’t always just die for you so…🐛🐛🐛

Boy was he grateful that humans in Japan eat some of the best food he’s ever seen

Human food has also made Kurama appreciate the artistry that can go into food

When he sees the chef went out of their way to make the food look like a literal work of art, he’s always so amazed!

He actually has a hard time eating something if it looks super pretty

Expect him to take a few pictures before he eats btw 🤣

He also has an shockingly high spice tolerance

He can eat authentic Thai food without sweating

But certain peppers will automatically have him on his knees

He can and has grown his own peppers to see if he can make spicier peppers than what’s available

He has, but internet trends make people competitive enough to dethrone him by next week 🤣

Hiei:

Oh this guy ain’t picky

Honestly he’ll eat burnt food if he’s hungry enough

He can also eat 10xs his own body weight

Want proof?

Togashi himself knows this little gremlin is a bottomless pit of angst and hangry

He could easily eat you and 12 of your friends out of house and home and still have the audacity to wonder why ya’ll stressed 🙄

Hello grew up in an environment where food was not guaranteed every day so any food he got, he wasn’t wasting a crumb

Even if he’d been given a giant demon bug leg, best believe he’s eating it

Waste not want not as they say

The only food he’s very sus about is mushrooms 🍄

Especially when talking about demon world mushrooms, a lot of them are very hard to identify wether they’re poisonous or so he tends to avoid them

Unless Kurama is there to tell him it’s poisonous or not

He’ll never admit it out loud but he LOVES human food so much!

It’s so flavorful!

His favorite dishes are meaty rice and noodle dishes

Honestly any dishes with meat are an instant hit with him 🍖

But his all time favorite dishes are the spicy ones

The spicier the better 🌶️🌶️🌶️

His spice tolerance is otherworldly

I’m 99.99% sure he could eat lava and not react

To this day, Yusuke and Kurama are trying to find a dish or pepper spicy enough to make Hiei sweat

They so far have not been successful 😔

Honestly not sure they will succeed any time soon

Mf pops Carolina reapers into his mouth like popcorn 🍿 🌶️

#yu yu hakusho #yu yu Hakusho headcannons #team urameshi #yusuke urameshi #kuwabara kazuma #kurama #yoko kurama #shuichi minamino #Hiei

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escapetheshark · 11 months

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Off the Deep End | part 1 | swim instructor Bang Chan x fem reader

Genre: fluff; smut; angst

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem reader

Word count: 3,6k

Warnings: mentions of past trauma, drowning, adult language (warnings will be added to each chapter)

Summary: Hellbent on facing her fears, she starts taking up swimming lessons from one attractive young instructor named Christopher.

A/N: In case you're new here, I always name my characters because I don't like writing in the second person. This story is set in Australia, therefore I use some Aussie slang and lore, lmk if there's anything you don't understand that I can clarify for you. I'm not Australian, I just tried my best to recall things from my time there and I suppose a lot of things are similar to New Zealand. If any Aussies find anything really OOC, please do let me know.

A massive thank you to @seo--changbin for her help aka putting up with my bulshit. Love you <3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | to be continued

Masterlit | Network

It's a lovely day: the sun is shining down on me, hot and bright, not a single cloud in the sky. I take another sip of my boozy cocktail and look over to my right where my sister has fallen asleep with a book on her face, several empty glasses piled on her side of the table. Not even her kids' loud screeches can seem to disturb her slumber, or maybe she's got good at zoning out. Her husband, who had disappeared inside the house God knows how long ago, has come back with a bucket in his arms and places it down by the lawn chairs.

"Help yourself," he enthusiastically says, before noticing his wife's sleeping form and immediately repeating himself in a lower voice. "Help yourself."

"Thank you," I simply say, raising my cocktail glass to show him I'm good for now. The bucket is full of beer, soda cans and water bottles for the kids.

The two boys decide to have a cannonball contest at the far end of the pool and are arguing about whose technique is the best, although I personally didn't find either that impressive. My brother-in-law finishes his Heineken and joins his kids with what was probably the only good cannonball of the day. He swims over to the edge of the pool and his head peeks out from the surface of the water.

"Come on, Jess, get in!"

"No thanks, I'm good."

"You need to face your fears at some point," he shrugs. "It's a lot more fun than just sitting on the lounger all day!"

He does make a compelling argument, however, I still see blood flowing and swaying on the water anytime I stare down into a swimming pool, the bottom seemingly invisible, like an endless pit. The scar is well hidden, thanks to really good surgeons and my own talent in makeup, but it is there and I do see it and feel its ridges whenever I touch my jaw. I'm facing my fear, looking straight into it. Maybe someday I'll be able to take a dive, but today is not that day.

I want to go home, I really do. My sister's friends are all a little obnoxious and I'm starting to feel sick from all the grilled meat I end up consuming at her weekend barbeques. At least the kids have all gone to sleep, not that the adults aren't equally as loud, especially after so much beer.

"-this year we'll go skiing in Austria instead, you know, see something new," one of the women says, wine glass in hand. "It's always Mount Hutt, I'm tired of Mount Hutt!"

"Snow all looks the same, Brenda," her husband spits with an annoyed look on his face. "You just want an excuse to go to Europe and see the hunks over there!"

"Imagine that, sitting on a plane for a day just to see snow when there's perfectly good snow down in New Zealand," some other guy retorts. "Taking those five kids of yours, too!"

Both Brenda's husband and this other guy laugh, but Brenda doesn't seem to be having fun. She sulks and pours herself another glass, keeping her head down.

"What about you, Jess, have any exciting plans for the new year?"

My eyes avert from Brenda and her troubles to the person sitting next to me, I believe her name is Amelia. She has very well-kept long blonde hair that doesn't suit her skin tone but her roots are barely visible still. Her face is somewhat orange, but I guess she pulls it off.

"Oh, I'm just gonna stay here in good old Melbourne," I shrug. "Might pop to Montague Street Bridge to see all the trucks losing their roof." I giggle at my own joke, but Amelia just seems lost, sparing me a pained smile. "I don't think they have Tim Tams in other countries."

"Oh that's not true," Brenda's husband interjects out of nowhere. "I'm pretty sure I've seen them in England!"

The awkward conversation dies down as they continue discussing their lives and I keep to myself, pretending to be very interested in the cranberry juice in my glass, avoiding meeting anyone's gaze lest they strike up more conversation and ask me why I don't just travel to Europe or the US, it's lovely up there, how can I miss out on such fun? It's either that or asking if I'd like to meet this guy they know, he's single too, he's divorced, his wife just died, he's got kids but he's nice, he works in IT. I don't want to meet their friend and I don't want to hear about Paris again, yet I keep getting dragged to my sister's pool parties where someone always asks me what drowning feels like, as if everything is supposed to feel like something else.

"By the way, my kids are taking swimming lessons with this extraordinary instructor," another woman invades my personal space to drunkenly tell me things I didn't ask about. I can't remember her name even though I know I've seen her face a few times. I remember her kid is called Jessica like me. "I hear he does lessons for adults too, he's a doll. I'll give you his card!" She reaches for her purse and pulls out a small rectangular card, very unassuming, with just a name, a phone number and a simple tagline - swimming lessons for all levels and ages.

"That's the most boring business card I've ever seen," I comment out loud, although I should have kept it to myself.

"Well, he's pretty good, just give him a call. Jessica loves him and she's making so much progress so quickly! She might get into the Olympic team at this rate…"

I feign enthusiasm, like this 10-year-old girl having such immense pressure put on her can be any good. I suppose she's growing up in a 5 million dollar home in Toorak, so she'll be fine. I place the card in my pocket and forget about it, deciding that if I'm stuck here in this rich people hell, might as well have a laugh, like when I eavesdrop at the deli section in Coles.

The smell of chlorine makes my head hurt and it takes a minute for me to adjust to the stuffy warm air. I might vomit my heart out with the way it's beating in my throat. My right hand caresses my left elbow, knees trembling, mouth dry. It's hard to focus on a single thing when everything happens so much at the same time - background music, chatter, kids screaming, whistles, splashing, that awful chlorine smell that I can't ignore no matter how hard I try. I'm not even sure where I'm supposed to go, I just stand by the door to the shower room, the swimming cap feels too tight around my head.

"Hey, are you alright?"

The voice that interrupts my anxious contemplation belongs to a short slender man in swim trunks and a tank top who appears behind me.

"Yeah, I'm just looking for my instructor, his name is uhm- Christopher?"

"He's me, I'm Christopher," the young man smiles sheepishly, his small eyes disappearing into his face for a second. "Oh, are you Miss Jessica?"

"She's me, I'm Jessica," I chuckle nervously. "We spoke on the phone."

"We very much did," he agrees, motioning for me to follow him around the Olympic-size swimming pool towards the far end of it. He waves at some other guy, I look politely at him and try to forget that I'm about to really have to get in the water. There's no escape this time, I've paid for my first fifteen lessons and it wasn't particularly cheap either. No refunds, unless caused by provable illness. Is it too late to break a leg…?

"Right, so you mentioned you cannot swim at all," his attention is back on me when we stop walking as we reach the very last lane on the opposite end of the pool. I look over at a storage unit full of various floating devices and wonder if I will be allowed one or two. Or ten. "The first step will be getting you comfortable in the water."

I watch as Christopher removes his thongs and leaves them under the bench then proceeds to lower himself into the pool using the pool ladder. He's got water up to his chest. He's maybe one or two inches taller than I am, so I definitely will be able to stand. It's too late to have a panic attack and run away so all I have left to do is go in. He's right there, the swimming instructor I've been told has several medals and apparently was part of the Australian junior swim team. It's his job to not let me drown. He's not my drunk mother thirty-two years ago who didn't see me slip and fall into the pool while she sipped cocktails.

"Go on, then," he smiles at me the way a proud father smiles at his kid's doodles before leaving them on the kitchen counter to be put up on the refrigerator door later. "See, you can stand."

My sister's friend did mention he seemed to teach mostly children so the slightly condescending tone is probably just an occupational hazard and I can't blame him for being a little bit snooty towards the thirty-something year old lady who's trembling just standing in four feet of water.

"See, it's not that bad," he offers and I can't tell if he's thinking in the back of his mind that I look like an absolute buffoon. He probably is. "So now all I want you to do is walk to me. Just walk," he instructs, making his way towards the middle of the pool, a few steps, stopping once the water reaches his shoulders. "I'm right here."

It's nothing like walking on dry land, I had forgotten what it feels like to be submerged. The water slowly and gently undulates as my legs move, tiny step by tiny step, like a newborn foal immediately forced to learn how to walk within ten minutes of being yeeted out of the womb.

Christopher keeps reassuring me that he's right there and will absolutely not let anything bad happen to me; it's almost more nerve-racking than if he simply stood at the edge of the pool yelling instructions, like the instructor a couple of lanes to our left with a class of about eight teenagers. It's hard to appreciate his seeming kindness when I'm trying so hard to focus on not letting my knees melt into wobbly pudding, each step feeling like a mile long.

He's got water up to his chest, Jessica, you'll be fine.

He's just standing there, the smile eventually fades from his face and he just watches me take slow, careful steps towards him, arms stretched out as if he expects me to tumble over like I did when I was four years old. Shit. I was doing fine without those memories, this is not a good time for the dramatic flashbacks! I stop, taking a deep breath and looking up at the tall ceiling, my vision not focusing on anything in particular, just the way the harsh bright lights illuminate the interior of the swimming complex.

"You good?"

Somehow I've muted all the noises around me, but his voice seems to come from way too close and that's when I realise I either moved without realising or he took a few steps to come meet me halfway because the next thing I know, he's a lot closer to me than I remember him being.

"I-I'm fi-fine?"

I'm not sure I sound convinced, but my head is still out of water and completely dry so I don't think anything happened to me. I look at Christopher again, his eyes seem almost worried but he offers yet another little smile. Do his cheeks not hurt from smiling so much? He already seems very non-threatening with his short and slender build and jovial face, he doesn't need to put so much effort into making himself appear as inoffensive as possible.

"Look back," he says, "you walked all this way!"

There's the condescending tone again like he's talking to one of his six-year-old students. Or maybe I'm just being a bitch to this man for absolutely no reason and he's just trying to be helpful and do his job properly. I've already paid him, either way. Might as well learn to actually swim while I'm at it.

"I sure did-"

"Do you want to try and extend your body? I'll hold your arms." He reaches out again, his pale arms extended towards me. I hold onto his hands, unsure of what exactly I'm supposed to do and how to even do it. Seems easy enough, right? Just extend your body out, like you're lying down in bed, except this isn't a safe comfortable bed, it's a dangerous swimming pool.

"Lift up your legs and kick them back," he instructs, his grip on my hands very strong, as a way to say he won't let go and let me drown. "Try one leg at a time first."

The movement is awfully uncoordinated and lacks any sense of grace, but I do manage to pull my leg back, then the other, then both at the same time, my eyes on Christopher's arms, worried he would let go on accident and leave me to brave the waters on my own. You can stand up, I remind myself. You've got water up to your shoulders.

"Good job," he praises, and I must admit a sense of mild pride washes over me. Yeah, it's a fucking good job! "Stand back up now." I obey, strengthening my grip on his hands, my body feels like it's floating and I can't remember how to get back down. It takes a minute, but I'm eventually standing up again, my hands still in his for a little longer until he finally lets go.

"How are you feeling," he inquiries "bit more confident?"

"I guess," I shrug, very clearly not that confident.

"You'll get there." Another smile. This one feels more earned, though, not as mechanic as before. I doubt his words for a minute before scolding myself. You will get there, it's just swimming, not rocket science. I nod, my knees relaxing subconsciously as I watch him get out of the water using the ladder again, making his way to the storage unit and picking up a couple of accessories he promptly throws in the water before joining me once more in the shallow end of the pool.

"Will these help make you feel safer?"

I nod again, holding onto one of the pool noodles as if I've never seen one before. I never told him my tragic backstory, yet somehow he acts like he knows there's something deeply wrong with me. I wonder if my sister's friend told him something…

"Thanks."

"Right, so the goal for now is to get you to feel confident and safe in the water," he explains, his face serious and stern. "You can have as many noodles as you want and I'm right here, I swear on my PS5 I won't let you get hurt." A little giggle leaves him, like he's making a silly little joke to the little kids he teaches. It's hard to take this man seriously when not only he seems to have never interacted with an adult, but he himself looks almost like a child, small and sweet-looking, like life hasn't yet taught him a lesson. I'm being so judgemental for no reason. This young man is just doing his job and trying to be nice about it. I have to scold myself again for thinking so negatively all the time and wonder if my sister does that too or if she's cured now that she has the perfect life…

"You basically paid me to not let you drown, if that's any consolation." His joke pulls me out of yet another session of inside-my-head rambling. He's trying so hard to be the cool and fun teacher and I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm at least ten years older than this wide-eyed pale boy.

"I guess that helps," I shrug, looking at him. "So what now? You throw me off the 10 metre plank and I have to somehow not die?" He laughs, his little eyes completely disappearing into his face and becoming crescent moons. He has dimples.

"Yeah, let's go," he jokes again. "No, we take it as slow as we need to. The goal is to not scare you any further."

"I'm not scared!"

"Yeah, that's why you were shaking coming down the ladder and holding on to me like that just now," he snarkily comments right before becoming apologetic. "I-I'm sorry, that was inappropriate."

"Don't worry, doll," I shrug, still holding on to the pool noodle, standing near the edge of the pool.

"Well, anyway, let's practice some more." His demeanour is back to the overly-friendly one from a few seconds before as he passes me another pool noodle, instructing me to loop it around my stomach. He holds out another noodle, one hand near each end, keeping it straight. "Hold on to this and look at me."

I do as he says, placing my hands next to his and facing him dead-on. "Now let's try to kick your legs back again, just like before." The noodle naturally doesn't feel as sturdy as Christopher's hands on mine, and the one on my belly almost pressures my body upwards and I have to actively force my torso down. My hands almost want to slide closer to his, to feel someone's skin on mine rather than polyethylene foam would make me feel a little more secure, but he's right there. He's literally a foot away from me, his feet firmly pressed on the tile. He won't let me drown. He wouldn't.

"It's okay, I'm literally right here," he reassures again, that damned smile that he just can't avoid but flash every damn minute. I wonder if he's always like this or maybe he's secretly a dick outside his lessons. Maybe he even voted One Nation.

Hands firmly on the pool noodle, I kick my legs back, slowly, immediately feeling the tension in my belly releasing. "You don't have to be so tense, you know." I feel light headed again, my eyes fixated on his but not focusing or registering what I'm looking at.

"Let's breathe slowly okay," his voice lowers an octave and catches me off guard. "Breathe in through your nose. One. Two. Three. Four. Five." He's breathing in too, still looking into my eyes, and it almost feels uncomfortable. I can't remember the last time I really looked at someone for so long, especially what is essentially a stranger. "Good, now breathe out through your mouth, slowly." He counts to five again, just as slowly as before and it feels like I have never breathed before in my life.

"I've got you," he reassures once more, of course he has a smile on his face and I can't really tell if it's sincere or not because my head is spinning and it's hard to focus on anything. "I'm gonna let go of the noodle, okay? But I'm right here."

"Please don't," I beg, my hands sliding closer to his until they're slightly touching.

"That's alright," he replies. "Okay, no problem, I won't let go."

I breathe out a relieved sigh as his hands come to hold mine once more, and I feel a sudden urge to cry. It's all too much, too much noise, too much water, too much human contact, all in a day's work.

"We can take it as slow as you need, Jessica."

I nod, this time I actually pay attention to him instead of fixating on a random spot without focusing on anything. His eyes seem sincere. Again, I have to remind myself that he's a professional doing his job and there is absolutely no reason for this man to let me drown or get hurt in any way.

"Take your time."

I'm not sure how long I stayed like that, looking absolutely ridiculous with a pool noodle through my waist, holding on to my much younger swimming instructor like I'm about to drown in four feet of water, that stupid swimming cap so tight around my head it feels like my brain is on the verge of exploding. Next thing I know, I'm standing under the shower trying to remove the cap without pulling all my hair out. The water is a little too hot, but I barely register the way it burns my skin as all the background noise morphs into one giant blob of white noise.

I get dressed, put away my wet swimsuit inside a plastic ziplock bag, dry my hair and apply moisturiser to my face, still unsure of how to feel about this whole thing. I could just quit, money be damned…! No, money do not be damned, it's not like I have a lot of it and I can't afford to just toss it away like that. I- I could just- No! I'm going to finish this now. I'm going to book my next lesson and stick to this, it can't be that hard. My nephews can swim and they're kids. That Jessica girl is training to join the goddamn Olympic team and she's like eleven! I can at least learn how to doggy-swim if anything, right? Right…?

To be continued...

#neverendingdreams #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #bang chan #skz #stray kids #bang chan smut #i suck at tagging #pls give feedback

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princescribbler · 1 year

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Fun 'Little' Activities for Playing At Home!

Run out of fun ideas for entertaining your little one, adult baby, or regressed subby partner? Here are some very quick and easy at-home activities that'll make almost any Little feel extra cute, regressive, and happy!

Treasure map: hide an object (like a stuffie, key to their cage, or diapee change) and leave a ridiculously convoluted set of clues. Make a treasure map, give riddles, make something cute and fun and I guarantee your little one will remember it for ages! The more complicated and silly, the better! Maybe it's a map to "mommy cove" or "the dead pirate snugglebeard's" lost treasure! Have fun with this!

COLOR MATCHING! This is easy: use any colored markers, pens, or pencils to make a nice long list of colors... and send your little out to find matches. Perfect gray rock, little one! Aww the red of your apple isn't quite the right fit, go look for something else red! Seriously... it's a short and simple activity to set up but leaves the little feeling special, cute, and blushy for their caregiver! Plus... it's silly little fun!

PAPER AIRPLANE CONTEST! EVEN IF it's just you two alone, make it fun! Tape a landing zone goal on the ground across the apartment, give your little a sticker for the "best designed" paper airplane, see whose can go further... and then help your little win, so they feel cute and pandered to and adorable! You'll notice them making lots and lots of paper airplanes for weeks after, because it made them feel so cute and special and little!

"Kid" science projects: from the baking soda volcano to growing your own rock candy, it's all available online, will make your little one feel silly but cute, and let them indulge their curious, wondrous little side a bit! Extra points if it's something really fun like the rock candy or something new and cool they've never seen before!

Biodegradable bird feeders: from orange peels to larger veggies, you can make a simple bowl or small bird feeder that's biodegradable and isn't a commitment to keeping a permanent bird feeder. BUT... since it's biodegradable and cheap, you won't mind if your cute little one goes a bit crazy and makes 3, or 4, and excitedly points out every bird that stops for a nibble. If you need extra detailed instructions, just look up biodegradable feeders or 'orange peel birdfeeder' and you'll get plenty of online advice!

Pool (or bath) party! By which I mean things like issuing craft supplies to make a cute boat out of a pool noodle, or letting your little cut up a sponge to make it a cute animal shape, or let the little one specially decorate and color on a favorite pool/ bath toy for them to play with at bath time! It's even more fun if you can enjoy a little VERY MINOR splashing and playing in the water.

MAZES! Well, drawing them at least. Have you and your little sit down and draw a maze for the other person... extra points if the big uses nice fine pencils and pens and the silly little only gets thick markers and crayons! Maybe even a competition: who can finish the other one's first! And obviously: no cheating!

Kink bucket list! Have the little and/or caregiver make a fun list of neat activities, kink included, they've always wanted to do and make a goal to check one off the list every month! Maybe it's very 'mature' like a daddydom wanting to make their little one climax with no touching... or maybe it's cute and silly, like wanting to take a little to the zoo with pullups under their big boy/big girl clothes! Regardless... it's never too early to start ticking things off your list!

There's no time like today for making your little feel loved and cute and regressive and special. And there is generally nobody that your little one wants to play with more than their caregiver! So have fun, let yourself be cute and silly right along with them, and as always...

Stay Happy, Stay Healthy, and Stay Kinky!

-Scribbler

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yanderecrazysie · 8 months

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Public Sex with Kageyama

DAY 9 OF KINKTOBER

Kink: Public Sex

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x Reader

WARNINGS: NSFW, public sex

You love your boyfriend, but he’s always been a little uptight.

He’s vanilla in bed and, while you enjoy every moment of it, you wish he’d be a little more adventurous. That’s why, when the idea occurs to you, you decide to put your plan in action as soon as possible.

The movie isn’t one you particularly want to see, but you pretend like you’ve been wanting to go see it your entire life. A chick flick, something Kageyama would also find no interest in.

Kageyama trudges over, balancing a huge bucket of popcorn and two sodas. He knows you well enough to guess which one you’ll want and puts on the exact amount of butter that you both like. He’s an amazing boyfriend.

You take the sodas from him so he’ll have an easier time and the two of you make your way to theater 3, where the movie will start in just a few short minutes. When you walk inside, you thank your lucky stars that there’s not too many people inside and no kids. The back rows are all empty and Kageyama’s surprised that you head for a back corner.

“Don’t you want to get a little closer so you can see?” He asks, confused.

“No, not this time,” you hope that you don’t come off as too suspicious. You don’t want him to insist. Thankfully, he just shrugs and follows you into the row.

The movie starts after a few commercials and it’s just as boring as you’d predicted. Kageyama looks about ready to fall asleep. You wait until the main character starts kissing the love interest to make your move.

Your hand sneaks onto Kageyama’s thigh before sliding onto his crotch, giving his dick a gentle squeeze through his pants. You feel it immediately spring to life in your hand, hardening a little.

Kageyama whisper-yells at you, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just trust me, babe,” you pout, “Please?”

To your surprise, Kageyama leans back in his seat and, although his gaze is unsure, he gives you a small nod. Through his jeans, your hand strokes his hardening length until there’s a visible bulge in his pants.

Your fingers make quick work of the button at the top of his jeans and then the zipper. Your hands dip inside his boxer shorts and wrap around his hardened cock. Quickly, you pull it free and the cock springs up, hitting Kageyama’s shirt, oozing a little precum onto it.

You rub a finger against the head of his cock, making large circles and sliding across the slit. Kageyama lets out a soft hiss and he tries to contain his reactions to the pleasure. Your hand slides lower and grips the base, moving upwards, feeling every vein against your soft skin.

Kageyama’s shifting in his seat, his hands in tight fists and his lip pulled under his teeth. He’s obviously doing his very best not to moan out loud, considering he’s surprisingly vocal in bed.

You stroke up and down, your thumb still playing with the mushroom head. You push down a little, opening the slit a little more, before rubbing against it again.

Precum coats your thumb, but you don’t care. If anything, it turns you on more.

You lean over and lick the head, tasting the salty pre on your tongue. You hold back a moan of your own as you start to take him into your mouth. You bob your head as you take more and more of him inside, swirling your tongue around his length.

Kageyama’s letting out muffled moans now, a hand shakily resting on the back of your head before gently pushing down, forcing you to take even more of his cock into your throat. You move up and down, tracing a particularly large vein with your tongue as you do so.

Kageyama’s fingers tangle in your hair, warning you that he’s getting close. On the movie screen, you hear the couple moaning and assume that they’ve gotten to the scene that gave it an R rating. Perfect!

Kageyama lets out a grunt, slamming his hips upwards until it hits the back of your throat, making you gag a little. Cum coats your throat as he hits his high, and you gratefully swallow it all, running your tongue across the tip to greedily gather up every drop.

You pull off of his cock with a pop and grin at him, licking your lips before tucking his spent member back into his boxers.

“You never really wanted to see this movie, did you?”

“Not even remotely.”

#haikyuu!!#kageyama tobio #kinktober

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nostalgicamerica · 1 year

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True story:

Shortly after my folks moved to Northen Michigan I fell in love with fishing. It is a love affair that still haunts me today as an old man.

Not far from the house we called home, there was a small pond. If it was more than fifty yards wide I’d be shocked, and maybe it was twice as long. One end of the green jewel was so overgrown with bull rushes and lily pads it was unfishable.

On the other side was a dilapidated dock that someone had constructed years before. It was falling apart and riddled with broken or missing boards, rusty nails, and it was perfect for 8 or 9 year old anglers.

A coffee can full of worms, a couple of rods outfitted with Zebco reels (which were like as not filled with 20 pound test line), and all the misplaced enthusiasm in the world were all we needed.

I can assure you the Pumpkin Seeds and Blue Gills and Sunfish we caught were not of any appreciable size - maybe the size of my palm which was considerably smaller than it is now. It didn’t matter.

There was joy in watching that bobber do a little dance before disappearing under the algae-covered surface. There was joy in reeling in the line and just knowing the catch was going to be a record. There was joy as boys learned to become men.

Who knows how many fish we caught. The Good Lord knows I don’t, but by the time we headed home we had probably 75 - 100 fish in a five gallon bucket.

Don’t ask why we kept them, or what we were going to do with them. I have no idea what our intent was now, and I sure didn’t then. They were too small to eat and we didn’t know how to clean them. I don’t recall being overly fond of eating fish anyway.

I do recall hearing Dad laughing through the window from the kitchen after he told us we’d have to clean them without his help.

What we did was fill a plastic wading pool with a hose and dump the impromptu school of fish into the heavily chlorinated water and then admired the flashing green and blue and red swarm splash around until dinner time.

I like to think we were just protecting them from possible predators - cats, maybe, or neighborhood kids, but who knows. When Mom called us in to wash up for dinner, we slid the pool into the garage behind Mom’s car, and pulled down the door, confident our slowly dying fish were safe.

I don’t know if all 8 and 9 year-olds are brain dead, but my brother and I were.

The following morning dear old Mom and Dad piled us all into the camper and rolled out for a trip to some part of the American West. Two weeks of seeing new things, eating bad food and puking, getting car sick and puking, and sleeping in sleeping bags and puking. And sometimes, just puking for the sake of puking.

I don’t recall thinking even once of our pool full of fish the entire two weeks we were gone.

When the camper pulled into the driveway at home and the dirty, sweaty, stinking mess of us poured out of the tenement on wheels, Dad opened the garage door and darn near fell over from the nastiest stench I have ever smelled before or since. It was so strong I could almost taste it.

After collecting himself, Dad made my brother and I look at the stew we had created. The blues and greens and reds were no longer. A thick, black and brown congealed soup filled the wading pool. I like to think I imagined the occasional glazed eyeball staring blankly up at the rafters.

I puked.

He made us drag the pool out of the garage and dump the mess in the field behind the house and clean the plastic shell with the hose. No amount of hosing was going to salvage that pool and, to my knowledge, it was never again used to cool off toddlers or anything else for that matter.

Mom had been pretty stoic about the whole episode until she went to use her car. The garage and everything in it smelled like the fetid bowels of hell.

My brother and I spent days cleaning and scrubbing the inside of her car. Scouring and sprinkling baking soda and vacuuming and letting it air out helped a little, but I promise you I could still smell that horrid blackness two months later when Mom made Dad take it down and trade it in for something else.

I have fished some fantastic waters since that summer, and have caught some magnificent fish, most of which I return to the water.

And yes, I still feel that same joy I felt as a boy watching my bobber.

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himbeaux-on-ice · 2 years

Text

the insane thing(s) that happened to me yesterday

god uh where to begin uhhhh right. okay. so.

I have lived in Nova Scotia, within an hour of Halifax, my entire life. and of the four(?) Stanley Cup parades that have occurred in the city within that time, due to a variety of circumstances I've never gotten to attend a damn one. I've never so much as laid eyes on the damn thing in person. this has vexed me mildly for years

originally, I lamented that Nate had scheduled his parade on a deeply inconvenient day for me personally, but then schedules changed and it turns out there was actually a good chance I would, potentially, be free at the time of the parade, albeit stuck on the wrong side of the harbour. sure enough, my boss was an absolute g and let us all leave when we ran out of things to do in the morning, so I immediately beelined it across the harbour via transit (including a VERY crowded ferry) just in time to meet my roommate at the library and watch Nate’s parade go by from the air-conditioned third floor window, because my roommate is a genius.

there he is all tiny and holding the thing! wow! and also saw Cogs and Landy in their horse-drawn cart lol. alright well that took two seconds, bucket list item complete, time to go I guess!

I then split off from roommate, who wants to save money by making lunch at home, and head further downtown to get a burger and a vodka soda from Five Guys. then I wander over to Grand Parade to catch the end of Nate’s little speech, and yet another distant glimpse of the man and his Cup!

again, emphasis on distant.

alright well that’s done, now time to go find a spot to eat my burger and finish this drink. on impulse, I decide to wander slowly down to the waterfront to my favourite snack shack to get a slushie and try to find a seat by the water. it’s eight million degrees out so everyone on earth has the same idea and the line is super duper long and the area is incredibly crowded. but whatever, I have no place better to be today. I'll wait.

while I’m standing in line is when I start to notice the people moving through the crowd carrying columns of burgundy, blue and white balloons.

at first I think that they must have swiped them from the festivities on Grand Parade, which is an amusing thought. but then I realize they’re taking them into the staff entrance at the back of a large boardwalk patio restaurant, the Salt Box Beer Garden. watching them, I also start to notice that an entire half of the restaurant has been tarped off, is visibly empty of patrons (during a very busy boardwalk lunch hour on a beautiful Saturday afternoon), and has a small portable washroom trailer like the kind you can rent for nice weddings set up inside the cordon. as I watch, I can see employees moving the balloon towers around and hanging up some Avalanche jerseys around the patio, and doing wild things like polishing the handrails and going after cobwebs in corners nobody will ever look in with a broom. the kind of stuff you do when you have important guests coming over.

slushie in hand, I am now intrigued, and beginning to suspect what this is - the Beer Garden must be rented out for whatever post-parade party is gonna be held once Nate and the Cup are done touring the city later today. it's mid-afternoon, absolutely lovely down here by the water, and I have no obligations, so I set up at a picnic table with a decent view, pour the rest of the vodka soda into my slushie, dig into the burger, and amuse myself with observing the goings-on and relaying what I'm seeing to a few friends. this is an area of town that I often hang around in on warm days anyway, so even if I sit here all day and see nothing, that's by no means a waste of an afternoon. maybe if I stick around long enough, I can get a little closer glimpse of some of the NHLers over the tarp, or of the Cup! perhaps even the so-far-elusive Sid the Kid...

several very chill boardwalk hours later, it's a bit after five, the band has started up inside, and the security guys who showed up a while ago have begun letting people who show up and say the right things in through a gate to the left of those trash cans. I've gone through a second slushie, had my picnic table stolen by a family of tourists while I was sitting at it (leading me to move down onto the steps in front of it, which are closer to the gate and comfier anyway), and had a very relaxing afternoon. I'm clearly not the only person who has caught on and started hanging around, either, as by now there are a lot of other people standing about on the steps. my portable battery pack has finally died and I'm starting to do the math on how much longer I can stick around before I have to leave.

then, while fiddling with my phone, I hear a kid on the steps to my left shriek "OH MY GOD IT'S HIM!!" as the crowd breaks into excited murmurs.

I look up, then look down the boardwalk to my right.

reader, if I'd stood up and taken four steps forward, I could've touched the damn thing.

(and then presumably been tackled by that large bearded man, who seemed to be some kind of security)

Nate raised the Cup for the little gathered crowd as we whooped, and then took it into the already-started party to the sound of delighted welcoming cheers. those of us on the boardwalk mostly stood around murmuring to each other, like, "wow, did that really just happen?" and then we all sorta dispersed our separate ways. I went to buy a Beavertail pastry and find a power outlet, and then departed into the warm summer night.

and to think, a week ago, I hadn't even expected to make it to the damn parade!! I'll never resist the urge to go buy a slushie again

(the second insane thing that happened to me actually deserves its own post, but let's just say I also had a little cryptid sighting...)

#iiiiiiinsane #pls be normal with this post that's all i ask #nathan mackinnon #colorado avalanche #nate mackinnon #stanley cup #the stanley cup #long post

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myreygn · 2 months

Note

If you're still doing the First Impressions Character ask game:

Askeladd; Tanizaki (bsd); Tendou (haikyuu!!); Akaza (demon slayer)

-soda

uaaah so many characters at once :D thanks for asking soda!! already did askeladd here

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Tanizaki

First impression

aw man he's cute too bad he's a terrorist

Impression now

i'm so soft for him i'm not even kidding, he's adorable to me and i'm so invested every time he does anything remotely out of his comfort zone because i just want him to succeed

Favorite moment

hands down when he threw himself out of a moving car and kenji caught him i'm so normal about this scene

Idea for a story

i really really really wanna write some atsutani, this ship took my heart by storm and just anything cute and fluffy for them is on my writing bucket list (also i have this nsfw draft of soukoku ft tanizaki sitting in my drafts that i'll never finish but psht)

Unpopular opinion

despite some of their scenes being uncomfortable af his relationship to naomi is actually really sweet and i wish they left the creepy stuff out so i could enjoy them without having to explain myself 💀

Favorite relationship

love tanizaki and kenji actually, they're besties in my head

Favorite headcanon

strikes me as someone who stress bakes

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Tendou

First impression

funfact tendou and makoto tachibana from free! have the same german voice actor and because i watched both of these shows in german my first reaction was turning to my sister like "holy shit is that makoto"

Impression now

he's so fun to me, i never have a bad time watching tendou do anything. i'm reading the manga rn and his commentary throughout the karasuno vs nekoma match is my favorite thing in the world

Favorite moment

it doesn't matter if you don't understand what he's saying it's all about the delivery

Idea for a story

oh hmm... good question actually lol. something tensemi idk i don't write him often

Unpopular opinion

he deserved to be bullied for that bowl cut (I'M KIDDING)

Favorite relationship

i mean we all love the ushiten dynamic but honestly tensemi will always be special to me, i live for their dynamic

Favorite headcanon

with haikyuu i never know what's canon and what's headcanon- i like to think that he got his buzzcut on a whim and then spent 10 minutes crying in front of the mirror, cradling his hair in his arms

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Akaza

First impression

i was so scared for kyojuro lemme tell you but his soundtrack was too cool i couldn't resist the epicness

Impression now

there's rarely been a character that's both so funny and so sad to me. everything about him cracks me tf up but if i think about him for more than five seconds i will start crying

Favorite moment

the moment when he sinks into koyuki's arms kills me. every. time.

Idea for a story

i really wanna do a character study with him at some point and focus on his relationship to humanity/monstrosity i just need a scenario i can weave this into

Unpopular opinion

idk what to put here so i'm just gonna say PUT SOME GODDAMN SHOES ON I DON'T NEED YOUR FEET IN MY FACE EVERY OTHER PANEL BY GOD

Favorite relationship

i fuck so hard with him and douma because douma holds all the cards in that relationship and i live for toxic imbalanced dynamics

Favorite headcanon

idk why but i like the idea that he sleeps every now and then just for the heck of it. and when he does he dreams but he never remembers them when he wakes up

#rey answers #ask game #thanks for playing!!

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fanficwriter284 · 1 year

Text

Circus

Requested by the lovely @eisoptrophobe

Gloria belongs to @twyz

And Chelsea (She's yellow this time because Glen's in this fic and I wanna avoid confusion)

The Rays had finally arrived at their final destination, after being stuck in mind-numbing traffic for hours on end. Which had sent the infamous redhead into an agitated mood. However, his anger quickly faded upon seeing his kids' expressions to their final destination. The Circus. In all honesty, Chucky was shocked that they were even still around since people rarely left their houses these days. Why leave the comfort of your own home to deal with annoying people, that simply got in your way? He quickly regained his train of thought for it to only be run off the rails, by Tiffany, who was trying to touch up the makeup she forcefully applied onto his face, to cover up his many scars.

"God damn Tiff stop"

The blonde retracted her hand, giving an annoyed eye-roll, and playfully pinched his cheek.

"Goddamn it woman"

He couldn't help but grin shaking his head trying to conceal his expression.

"MOM DAD HURRY UP"

"Glenda they're aging you gotta give them time to get here, Dad already walks with a cane"

"HEY! First, I ain't even walking my damn cane. Second, I need it for my damn limp, second your Ma's slow poke. It ain't me"

"Asshole"

"Hurry Up! I wanna get one cotton candy"

"I just wanna get inside"

After what felt like forever the family finally gathered all their sacks and other junk foods and took their seats. Chucky had a massive bucket of popcorn with loads of buttery deliciousness, with it seeming to glow golden, Tiffany with her own because her husband doesn't like sharing. Glen with a large grape soda, and a cinnamon pretzel, Glenda with loads of gummies and a soda, Gloria her own cotton candy and a drink, and Chelsea with a churro, water and napkins because she isn't getting a single stain on her marron suit.

While they had been waiting Chucky was scrolling through his phone, ad texting. When the flashy lights and music came on Tiffany elbowed him, to get him off the screen. He groaned yet he complied, putting his device on silent. They watched as the first few performers to the stage. They were all dressed in fancy outfits, bright and shiny grabbing the attention of all the people in the area who came to watch the show. They had done wild tricks flipping in the air, and leaping from great heights. Everyone in the crowd clapped and cheered, watching the show in amazement. Another act entered with a motorcyclist, circling the bottom area, and trapezing artist swinging from the ceiling. Animals had been brought out, doing all sorts of fancy tricks, getting the crowd's cheers of glee.

"Damn even I'll admit that was cool"

Gloria took a handful of popcorn from her dad's bucket and nodded in agreement. Chucky gave her an eyebrow raise and let it slide, he was willing to share with his kids.

"Yeah"

Chelsea tugged a bit on her sister's sleeve and motioned for her to share some of the cotton candy. Her older sister handed it to her and continued watching the show. The youngest of the Ray took a smile bit and squinted her eyes, the treat was too sweet for her liking, and took a sip of her water, handing the candy back to Gloria. The twins were locked in with watching the show.

"How much you wanna bet the tiger eats him"

"It won't eat him"

"You don't know that.....I'm going with 20"

"...Oh Glenda"

The clown act had taken root, with all of the clowns goofing around, making gags trying to get a laugh out of the crowd. Glenda elbowed Chucky smirking widely.

"Hey dad....that one looks like you"

".....very funny"

The show eventually came to an end with the vast amounts of performers bowing and waving at the crowd, enjoying the vast amount of praise. The Rays had exited throwing away popcorn buckets, empty wrappers, and soda.

"Oh shoot.....looks like there's gonna be traffic"

".............DAMNIT"

#Rays #twyz #Gloria #Chelsea #Chucky #Tiffany #Circus #The Fam

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tomatosoupa · 1 month

Text

nieces

Today, I am grateful for my nieces. I have two. One is three years old and the other is four weeks old. The four week old shares a birthday with one of my best friends. And the three year old shares a birthday with Josh Hutcherson and Hugh Jackman, so that's cool.

I got to spend the day with them today though and it was just awesome. My sister and brother in law and their two daughters came for my graduation yesterday and are staying for the weekend. We all spent the day outside in the sun. I started my hot girl summer off right with a cold Coke, a skimpy little swimsuit and a bucket hat and flip flops. I managed to avoid manual labor by making snacks and refilling waters and sodas.

Then, once the pool was clean, we splashed around in the little bit of water as the pool filled back up. I also got to hold the newborn for like a good half hour and she is the cutest thing ever. I don't want kids but she made my baby fever so bad. I still don't want my own kids, but I want my nieces.

I do kinda want kids though. I gotta get my Noah and Elizabeth dream with Brandon. I'm just scared of having kids. But he's fine either way which is great. I love him so much. I can't wait to go to college with him. And get married of course. I really wish he could've come to my graduation though. But I still love him.

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ember373 · 6 months

Text

1/1/24 2:50 pm

It’s a new year. Usually that means fresh starts and new beginnings, right? But what does it mean if you wake up to a smoke filled house? Please don’t tell me it means my new year will be ‘fiyah!’. I don’t believe it.

The oppressor and his little protege left this morning to catch a train for a family trip only they were privy to. I sound bitter about that, but really, I’m not. Not in the way you would think anyhow. Perhaps I’ll address that later, if I remember. It started with his loud voice at 6 in the fucking morning telling her to hurry up and that they’re late. No, jackass, nobody in the house is trying to sleep. Asshole. They finally leave and I think ahhh…the bliss that is sleep will return. But then I hear some damn repetitive noise that lulls me from sleep and fully wakes me up. At 6:30 in the freaking morning. It’s Princess’ alarm. That she forgot to turn off. oh joy. Settle that piece of business, take care of some bathroom biz, and settle in to try to get some more shut eye.

Only to wake up to “fire, fire” and loud beeping. All through out the gawdamn house. I get up and go to see what’s setting off the alarms. Nothing upstairs but there seems to be smoke in the stairway leading downstairs? So I go down and the whole downstairs is filled with smoke. What the? I go in the man cave and it’s so freaking thick, and I immediately go to the fireplace. Yup. Fire burning there. I open the sliding back door to let the smoke out and then find some tongs to open the flue. then I open some more windows before finding a bucket to fill with water to douse out the remaining flames on a durga flame log. What the ever living fuck. You have got to be kidding me.

Not one to keep my mouth shut, I text his Overlord. Told him omg…you closed the flue and fire was going and now the whole house is filled with smoke. Not wanting him to panic, I proceed to tell him that I have it handled, I turned off the central heat, opened all the windows in the house, and even called non emergency 911 to let them know that if a neighbor calls them because they can hear alarms going off in my house for a while, that I have it handled and they don’t need to send anyone. The operator asks if she should send an ambulance to check for cO2 poisoning just in case. Thinking of the large ambulance bill, I tell her no. The only ones home were me, the middle child, and his friend. They were in his room, with the door shut, and the window wide open because that room gets hot. So they didn’t have any smoke in that room. The only one that would have been affected would be me. But I’m not incurring a large bill because of that. I’m fine. So I tell her don’t worry, we’re all fine. I then proceed to look up signs of cO2 poisoning.

Dizziness, upset stomach, headache, etc. hmm. I feel fiiiiine. Although a bit later I start to get a headache. A few hours later after I eat lunch, I get a bit nauseous. But I didn’t pass out and I didn’t throw up so I’m sure I’m fine. lovely visions of going to sleep and not waking up start to entice me as I continue to clean up the mess.

And by clean up, I mean just go around and light candles to try to get rid of the smell. I also made up bowls of vinegar and trays of baking soda to try to absorb smell. Of course the laundry room is right off the man cave so all of the clean clothes now smell like we spent a weekend around a camp fire. I dump all the baskets and pull all the clothes of hangers to rewash EVERYTHING. Oh joy. I was almost caught up on laundry too. grrrr.

Oh, and his lovely reply to my afore mentioned text? I didn’t feel it. it just had a small piece of wood left. I was afraid of it getting cold if I left it open. sorry.

I about broke down. Still fighting it, if I’m being honest. A small sorry and he goes about his lovely planned day of frivolity and fun. No is there anything I can do. No suggestions to help. Just sorry and then a few pics of the princess and her spoiled cousin sleeping on the train. Thanks.

I messaged A to let him know what happened. I don’t what I was expecting. sympathy? Like I would get that. I mean, I got a oh that sucks type of message. I just told him I probably wouldn’t be on much today and left it at that. What was I expecting? For him to ask what he could do to make me feel better? pffft. He just left me alone like I asked and went back to whatever it is he does all the day the 15 minutes he’s not talking to me.

And it just…hit me. How cruel the universe really is. Be it lessons or just the inhumane desire for it to kick me while I’m down repeatedly and not let up. Universe is on my side my ass. Oh but it doesn’t give you lessons you can’t handle? bull fucking shit. That’s a load of crock people say to make themselves feel better. If I wasn’t so damn stubborn, I’d be dead by now. Do you know I actually got pissed off when I was reading how cO2 poisoning can cause death? I thought to myself, you stupid bitch-here you had the perfect opportunity to end it all and you let it slip through your fingers. I could have just let that fire burn and let it fill up the whole gawdamn house indefinitely until I inhaled so much of it I just wouldn’t wake up. It wouldn’t be like anyone would think I did it on purpose. Perfect opportunity. gah!!

But no. I had to do the responsible thing and get my ass up and find the cause and then clear the smoke. It’s not that I want to live or some part of me wants to live. Nope. I’m just a stupid bitch who didn’t see her perfect opportunity. So I’m still locked in this life for who knows how long. My mom is in her 80’s. Her 80’s!!! I don’t want to be around that long. Pointless.

And ever since the overlord got that TBI, I’m even more stuck. I don’t feel right leaving, not when his brain isn’t 100% there. And this fire? I won’t say it out loud, but this is probably residual brain trauma. He thinks he has all his executive decision making abilities back, but I know he doesn’t. And I can’t say shit because then he gets angry and takes it out on me. Just like he did everything with the TBI. I can’t ever get anything right. I try to keep him in the hospital until he’s fully cleared and everyone else pushes him to leave so I sit back and watch him leave. With no home recovery instructions. Nothing. And everyone asking me how he’s doing, don’t leave him alone, while he’s yelling at me not to talk to anyone and to leave him alone. His once slow burn temper has turned into a hot fierce flame spot. Sure it calms down quicker, but that’s because he’s not letting it build up and letting things be calm for any amount of time. It’s always insta anger. Idk which is worse. Not knowing when he’ll explode, or knowing he’ll explode all the time at anything I do. The doc told me I shouldn’t let him make managerial decisions so I let his work know because he WAS TEXTING THEM and what do they do? They tell him 2 fucking days later. So he can yell at me. The financial shit? my fault. Never mind he’d set a fucking bathroom remodel that never had anything signed regarding financing so I had to get cash out and pay with cash and credit card because it was too late to cancel. But that was wrong too. I “wiped out” his bank account. And the way he said it made you think I did it on purpose.

I’m still dealing with back lash from that damn TBI. IT TAKES A YEAR TO HEAL. At least. But he’s so convinced he’s 100% that he won’t listen to anybody. Until he’s feeling repercussions that is, and then he gets mad that all the people he yelled at to stop talking about it actually stopped talking about it with him because, you know, they should ask him how he is and show they fucking care. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! CAN’T WIN!!!

So even if my scared pansy ass got up the nerve to leave, I don’t feel comfortable or safe doing so because he’s still dealing with this brain injury. At first, I thought maybe it was the universe’s way of setting me free. His temper now surely can’t handle the things I do. But nope. Seems he’s even more steadfast since I helped him through it and continue to be “his rock”. I don’t want to be his damn rock. Where is my damn rock?!?

Well, what about A you might think. Yeh. no. I think he genuinely cares for me, but he doesn’t have it in him to really care about me. He only stays because I make it convenient for him. I don’t talk to him about my feelings hardly. I try to stick to things he likes. I try to appear upbeat and worshipful, which is easy when all we do is communicate by text. I make it very easy for him to use me and not have to give a damn. *sigh* He does try. I know he does. but…would it kill him to do something for christmas or my birthday when I’m always doing things for him? I even tried to tell him I’d stop because everything I do is stupid, but he said he’d be sad. So he wants me to do things for him while he doesn’t do anything for me. Last year he at least told me he was thankful I was in his life along with the Merry Christmas. Some very hard to say for him heartfelt words. But this year? I got a well, whatever, Merry Christmas, I’m going to bed, because he was mad at his family.

I’m just so tired. so bone crushing soul aching tired. My job is crazy and not as fulfilling as it used to be. I mean, I like it, but it’s kinda hard when I know it will never be able to support me if I ever left. And by that time, I’ll be even older and unemployable. With no medical. no benefits. No vacation or paid time off. working my ass off always anxious as to whether I’ll hit enough hours or not.

I just don’t know how much longer I can live like this. My kids don’t really need me. I want out of my marriage. A could probably care less if I left or, at the most, would be sad but would quickly move on. I’m not needed or really desired by anyone that gives a damn to stop and think what would possible make me happy and then try to do it. I’m just here to take care of everyone and try to guess what they truly need while they half ass it and don’t really pay attention or listen to me. I’m drowning and nobody gives a flying fuck. And, I mean, why should they? I’m not that great. lmao. I’m just a short, fat, old, weird looking chick who’s so love and attention starved that she’s constantly doing things for other people desperately hoping someone will do something for her and getting bread crumbs. But ya know… I’m fat so they probably think I should have anything more than that. ha!

I hate this life. I really do. I love my kids. I love most of my family. Ok. all of my family. I care about my friends. but I really don’t have anything bringing me joy. the joy people feel that makes them hold on to life and want to keep living. But here I am. And here I’ll be. I’ll probably live to be 120. In misery the whole time. Because I’m an ungrateful bitch who doesn’t know how to be thankful for what she has. Someone else can have it, ok? Can I just not exist anymore? sure, people will be sad, but they’ll get over it. all of them will. there’s not a person on this planet who would be devastated by my death. I’m sure they would all say they would, but I know it’s not true. idk. Maybe it’s the tism. maybe I just don’t understand things. Either way…I’m just done man. Even the cards hold nothing for me. I’m just existing one day to the next, trying to make people happy, but all the while dying inside and wishing I wasn’t here.

Ok. Useless whining over. It’s almost time to switch laundry again. I’ll go back to keeping it all to myself and pretending to be ok because oh yeh, did I mention I don’t even have a therapist anymore? The universe continues to prove to me that it hates me with a passion. You can’t change my mind on this.

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