#(im just venting my frustrations)

[bbnibini]

I find it so painfully heartbreaking that Solomon just...laughs off all the derision, the name-calling, and possibly even did "evil" things on purpose because it's expected of him at this point. (He had not always been like this as Thirteen pointed out before). There was a time when he was "innocent". When his soul sparkled. When it resembled the kind of soul everyone in these god forsaken (pun intended with spite) three realms seemed to associate with the ever loved MC. He's just...worryingly carefree. And because he's like that, he feels even more of a tragic character to me.

Sometimes it even seems that he himself would seemingly make up excuses on why he's hated. Oh, it's because I'm a sorcerer this. I might have won a war against Devildom single-handedly this. I have forgotten. But maybe, I did something bad, that. Hon, you were doing that to SURVIVE. You don't have to be a faultless person to deserve compassion. You don't have to be MC to deserve to be loved.

[ukyou-kuonji]

Actually I’m already so frustrated at all the anime dudes saying Suzume is “the same as Shinkai’s last two movies” “It’s just another girl meets boy romance” or that “Shinkai only does one thing”.

First of all, his last three movies could not be more different thematically, and all of them feature very different relationships and characters. Just because they feature romances and weather phenomena does not mean the content or the narrative arc of these films are the same.

Second of all, even if they were, the people I’ve heard say this keep up with things like marvel, dragon ball, and each new battle shonen of the season. Clearly Shinkai being “repetitive” is not even an issue even if he was. Y’all like the same thing when it’s action or adventure media.

Which brings me to third of all, the way these fans inherently value action media and take time to analyze each corporately churned out film in intense detail but write off Shinkai just comes across as being unaware of their own preferences. Just say you don’t personally like romance films, there’s nothing wrong with that, I promise. It doesn’t mean it is a bad film. They’re trying to critique art but being completely informed by their own personal bias. Imo a personal bias which, once one tries to intellectualize it, reveals itself as a personal bias which on some level subconsciously is informed by the patriarchal background noise of our society which insists stereotypically masculine interests/media/art be taken seriously, while stereotypically feminine interests/media/art (here the romance genre) are more easily written off.

Fourth of all, you are not cooler for disliking a popular director.

Fifth of all, it’s not even girl meets boy this time. It’s girl meets chair.

[otter-pup]

so I have already been pretty quiet on here recently but uh. i kind of genuinely need to take a step back from sexual stuff for a while - nothing happened, i just think it is maybe a bit unhealthy how much of my time is taken up by Being Horny and Getting Off. like as much as those r both normal I do them too often, like. genuinely. idk when I’ll start being active again but thank u for understanding

[angelsarecomputers]

was about to write an entire spiel about how illiterate motherfuckers in the disco elysium fandom are completely unable to meet jean where he’s at as a character but then I realised that I am legitimately just frustrated that we have to talk about this cunt so much. I love jean because I think he’s a very interesting character study into what happens when homoerotic workplace beef convinces someone that their mentally ill colleague is the devil but beyond that it literally just isn’t that deep. the writing team put so much effort and life into every single character in the game, jean included, but you could name just about any other character in the game and I could almost guarantee you that they had more thought put into them than jean vicquemare. and yet they just aren’t discussed by almost anyone! whether that’s because of misogyny or racism or simply because they aren’t relatable to your average tumblr fujoshi, it means that instead of actually good analysis of the games actual characters and themes we all have to sit and listen to the same garbage discourse, week after week, about how how people are ableist for liking jean or how people are victim-blamers if they hate him. basically people just running wild with the fanon they’ve made up inside their heads while others have to try and explain that no, actually, there isn’t any textual evidence that harry hit jean or raped jean or whatever the fuck. it’s so so fucking boring having to watch people discuss this drivel time and time again. I don’t care if jean’s a fascist (a fascist cop? wow, what a surprise!) he’s definitely not a little pookie bear baby, he’s literally just some fucking guy. I truly do not understand why we all have to lose our minds over him every other month. I know I’m being a hater right now but I really couldn’t give less of a fuck. say something new for once for the love of god

[grimalkinmessor]

Light's end has always bothered me for multiple reasons (the biggest of which is it not actually being his fault that he lost therefore robbing me of a greater poetic justice but you can't win 'em all), but I think one nobody really talks about is that,,,Light wasn't afraid to die.

Well—he WAS, at the beginning, but part of the reason I'm so obsessed with his relationship with Ryuk is because Ryuk's existence was a constant threat to Light's life. And yet Light never once seemed afraid of him, or tried to cozy up to him, or even attempted manipulate Ryuk into doing things for him. Sure, he bribed him sometimes into going along with his plans, but he was friends with Ryuk. Or—as close to friends as I assume a Light Yagami and a Shinigami can get.

But before Light meets Ryuk, he 100% believes that he's going to die. His frenzy those first few days can be attributed not to any moral righteousness, but to a desperate sort of resignation. Light thinks that he's sold his soul after killing those first two men, so instead of destroying the Death Note, he immediately sets out to make as big of an impact as possible. He wants to go out with a bang! He wants to be remembered! Light is afraid of death in those first days—but he also comes to terms with it somewhere between killing Otoharada and Ryuk showing up. He was ready to go with Ryuk quietly if he was there to take his life or his soul.

But then—he learns that he's not going to die.

The face of a boy excited and relieved.

Light learns that there are no consequences to using the Death Note.

THIS is when he starts getting cocky, when he starts to actually convince himself of all that moral stuff he spouts.

But he's still not afraid of death.

Oh he's afraid of being caught, for sure, and after L humiliated him on live television, he might've even been afraid of execution. Because he'd seen firsthand just how quickly L could turn the tables on him, how he could make Kira look foolish. And Light definitely does not want to be remembered as foolish.

I don't think Light was afraid of actually DYING though, because when Ryuk says "You know I could just kill you", Light laughs. Literally laughing in the face of death. Light KNOWS that Ryuk will eventually kill him, but as long as he goes down the way he wants—on HIS terms—it's fine. Ryuk claiming that he'd be the one to finally end Light might've even been a relief, considering how Light's mind works. A god can only be killed by another god, etc. etc. 'Killed By A Real-life Shinigami' sounds metal as FUCK. Top-tier way to die if you're as much of a gloryhound as Light.

And one thing that irks me is that—the five year gap kind of,,,,takes that, from Light. Light spends so long on top of the world with no real challenge that by the time that Near and Mello show up, he's far more arrogant than he was when he was up against L. Light is, once more, afraid of death. He's lost that tolerance he built up in those pivotal first few days, and he goes out, not in a blaze of glory like he wanted, but clawing and pleading to live like a dog.

Light lost his recklessness, his impatience, his acceptance of the inevitable because he believed that he could now change the inevitable—all somewhere in that five year time skip.

This makes him less likely to get caught, yes, but it also takes away that—that teenage dauntlessness that he had at the beginning. Pre-skip Light feared L and L alone. Only the idea of being caught by someone who could truly tear him down frightened him. Not even death compared.

And I suppose that Light's spiralling at the end is a sort of poetic justice in this case?? But it's not the one I wanted.

I wanted Light's recklessness to blow up in his face. I wanted his carefully curated plans ruined by his own impatient hand. I wanted him to go down much as he probably first intended—in a blaze of glory. I wanted his fall to be explosive and terrifying to the audience. A moral of the story that shoots you right in the chest and really makes you think.

Instead he was reduced to just,,,,another criminal, begging for his life.

Which, yes, I suppose, is also a message in and of itself (all evil figures throughout history have only ever been human, have only ever been men that bleed red at the end of the day, and nothing they've ever done or said will change that), but I also find that....exceedingly boring.

[the-random-phan]

Shi Qingxuan~ <3

[spunkykirby]

ugh look i love childe too but please for the love of god stop clogging the neuvili tag-

[colesabi]

So I had some time between patients today and reread the scene I had written and completed yesterday and guys… I hate it.

[l3ominor]

I think I've cried every day this week.

Something about being home I guess

[sunsetcorvid]

hyperfixates so hard that it interferes with my school and basic bodily needs

[bonefall]

Did you man beam Drizzle? If so, why not just pair up Rustle with Cranberry instead? I get for the amazing ship name but I'm curious about the choice /gen

I totally forgot Drizzle's original gender, but also, I really don't want to overthink it. I'm so tired of overthinking it. I wanted CranberryDrizzle funny ship name and it was getting exhausting to plan out where every pairing in several hundred cats would be getting their kits from

Rustle is going to die at some point after having two QR kittens, and Cranberrydrizzle is going to have 2 important litters (Sunstrike and Emberfoot in the first, Fernstripe in the second). I have done an exhausting amount of work (weeks of planning and hours of work at a time, scouring the wiki and facebook screenshots, redrawing tangles, reading through suggestions, writing out full posts of changes and creating new groups with their own histories) untangling broken fragments of family trees and like... I'm tired. No more shuffling. I deserve Funny Ship Name. is this too much to ask

Boy Drizzle is just the easiest answer. I'd like for Drizzle to just be transfem but I was also told to avoid cats being trans just to have kits, which is ALSO frustrating me at this point, I don't like this weight of "perfect representation" that's being put on me when I'M not even perfect representation as a living human queer.

Do I let Drizzle be transfem and "break a rule," or change them to a boy and "lose" a lesbian pairing? It feels gross to me to have fallen into a mindset where I'm treating queer relationships like quotas or rigid rulesets

I feel like if I 'get something wrong' (like forget the gender of a Missing Kit or a side character, or handwave 'where did these kits come from' with 'trans/queen's rights' without considering a real secret surrogate) I'm going to get smacked upside the head and be forced to hyperfocus on one small part of a massive project when I already have a million other things to work on.

So unfortunately the most honest answer I can probably give is that im tired. I'm really tired. Overthinking minor details before making every single tumblr post is draining me. I forgot the missing kit's original author-assigned gender and didn't scroll to the bottom of Onestar's wiki page to check it before posting. I like the ship name. Cranberrysplash somehow gets pregnant twice, but I was told to avoid trans bioparents, yet doing that is making things even harder after I had to do weeks of work to make a good tree in the first place

I'll figure out Drizzlefall's gender when they become relevant in some context

[quietwingsinthesky]

.

[skybristle]

rbs > likes ig

someone please please show me how drawing simple Works. i dont know if i have a double standard for myself but i'd love to be ableto draw a lot and fast but i cant get my brain to work. its so frustrating i want to be able to have fun drawing again rather than just walk through a step by step i've built and am now unable to escape from

[tangledinink]

Hello. I just wanted to say, even if you don’t get enough likes or reposts on any of your comics, you should still be posting them for those people who enjoy them and DO want to read them whenever they can.

Hey bro, I understand what you're saying, and I think maybe your point is supposed to be, like, that I shouldn't worry about notes and stuff? But this is one of quite a few anons/messages of this ilk I've received lately, so here's the thing.

I've literally posted about seventeen different comics on tumblr for you guys over the past three weeks. In addition to multiple illustrated pieces, three fic updates, and two oneshots (that's over 36k words my guy!) in that same timeframe. Quite frankly, that's a lot of content.

I'm really, really glad you guys are enjoying the things I'm making! But please let me publish things at my own pace. When I say that I usually wait for the previous part of a comic to hit a certain number of notes before I publish the next, I mean, like I previously stated, that I'm using it as a way to time things/space things out and give each part a chance to breathe and do the rounds before adding more-- not that me continuing the project is dependant on the amount of attention I receive. But even if it was... it's my right to operate that way if I want to!

And. Like. Yeah, okay, I guess I'll go ahead and delete that other ask about the SepAU thing? 'Cause it's really just resulted in me being informed by people, anonymous or otherwise, that I'm totally screwed, they'll be voting against me, etc etc. and I'm? Not having that fun of a time?,,, Actually?,,, I'm already aware that I will likely lose and that's okay, it's just a game. I'm not going to stop making content because of it, so please don't worry about that. But all these anons and such are really not,,, helping. Nor encouraging me to publish anything else.

So I'd really, really appreciate you guys' patience. I'm not gonna answer any more asks like this. Thank you.

[puppy-wife]

I have such severe RSD, it's the thing I hate the most about myself, like I feel like I can't fucking control it. it's so fucking heavy and makes it so hard to be a normal fucking person. something inevitably happens, because I have extreme untreated adhd, and I end up hurting the people I love because I can't take care of myself. I can't follow through on the things I say I'm gonna do, I can't take care of others, I'm a fucking mess and I'm so goddamn easily distracted that I have horrible fucking memory problems. I just want to be the person you deserve, and I don't understand why I can't just!!!! fucking get it right!!! ive given myself a headache and I feel like an asshole and im so tired. im so fucking tired of hating myself and failing the people I need to be better for. sigh. fuck. the best I can do right now is do my best to finish chores around the house.

[technicalknockout]

LITERALLY FILLED OUT 2989947986 PAPER FORMS SO I CAN SKIP SCHOOL FOR A WEEK AND GO ON A FAMILY TRIP BUT MY UTERUS SAID NO. MY RAGE IS IMMEASURABLE