#i deserve funny ship name. i just. i deserve funny ship name

[bonefall]

Did you man beam Drizzle? If so, why not just pair up Rustle with Cranberry instead? I get for the amazing ship name but I'm curious about the choice /gen

I totally forgot Drizzle's original gender, but also, I really don't want to overthink it. I'm so tired of overthinking it. I wanted CranberryDrizzle funny ship name and it was getting exhausting to plan out where every pairing in several hundred cats would be getting their kits from

Rustle is going to die at some point after having two QR kittens, and Cranberrydrizzle is going to have 2 important litters (Sunstrike and Emberfoot in the first, Fernstripe in the second). I have done an exhausting amount of work (weeks of planning and hours of work at a time, scouring the wiki and facebook screenshots, redrawing tangles, reading through suggestions, writing out full posts of changes and creating new groups with their own histories) untangling broken fragments of family trees and like... I'm tired. No more shuffling. I deserve Funny Ship Name. is this too much to ask

Boy Drizzle is just the easiest answer. I'd like for Drizzle to just be transfem but I was also told to avoid cats being trans just to have kits, which is ALSO frustrating me at this point, I don't like this weight of "perfect representation" that's being put on me when I'M not even perfect representation as a living human queer.

Do I let Drizzle be transfem and "break a rule," or change them to a boy and "lose" a lesbian pairing? It feels gross to me to have fallen into a mindset where I'm treating queer relationships like quotas or rigid rulesets

I feel like if I 'get something wrong' (like forget the gender of a Missing Kit or a side character, or handwave 'where did these kits come from' with 'trans/queen's rights' without considering a real secret surrogate) I'm going to get smacked upside the head and be forced to hyperfocus on one small part of a massive project when I already have a million other things to work on.

So unfortunately the most honest answer I can probably give is that im tired. I'm really tired. Overthinking minor details before making every single tumblr post is draining me. I forgot the missing kit's original author-assigned gender and didn't scroll to the bottom of Onestar's wiki page to check it before posting. I like the ship name. Cranberrysplash somehow gets pregnant twice, but I was told to avoid trans bioparents, yet doing that is making things even harder after I had to do weeks of work to make a good tree in the first place

I'll figure out Drizzlefall's gender when they become relevant in some context

[villa-kulla]

where is my BCS fix-it fic where depressed, midlife crisis Howard goes into Jimmy’s office to yell at him about something, and bumps into Lalo coming out of Jimmy’s office and thinks “oh he’s scary and kind of dreamy” and they hit it off and fall in love, and they both cook/make cappuccinos together, and Lalo teaches Howard not to take life too seriously and Howard teaches Lalo how to button a shirt all the way up, idk (jk he loves it), and gradually they catch on to Jimmy and Kim scamming Howard and think “hey wouldn’t it be hilarious if we got them back” and devise a plan for Howard to confront them, all like “first you tell them they’re twisted freaks! and then I come in and pretend to shoot you in the head!” and they use special squibs they got from the student film crew who they were paying double the whole time, pretend to shoot Howard in front of Kim and Jimmy and then psychologically torture them into thinking they have to kill Gus, and when Kim goes to the house and lifts the gun and the door opens she sees Jimmy tied up, Lalo and Howard actually alive, and the rest of the cartel behind them like ‘surprise, assholes, you got punked!’ and Kim and Jimmy break down from the stress, meanwhile a week later we cut to Howard’s car parked on the beach, shoes kicked off, and Lalo and Howard lying on towels and drinking pina coladas, taking the beach vacation they both deserve, and howard says “how did we ever get here” and Lalo says “I guess I just had to shoot my shot;)”, they clink glasses the end, where is THAT fic

oh right, it’s in my head

[bumblingbabooshka]

Voyager Episode where Chakotay and Tuvok are making a fish tank together as a B Plot. It appears in the mess hall after this episode.

[devotedlystrangewizard]

sometimes i still go back to my shaytham fics just to read the comments because nothing makes me feel better as a fanfic writer than "whoa ur characterization is so good i love how you write them" multiple times

[colorfultails]

No Thoughts, Head Empty- Only Luz ships i like

[seaoreos]

the funniest thing about being bi and having a self-shipper partner + qpp who are both mainly/exclusively attracted to men is that when they see a neat woman they immediately look at me and go ‘bee you should selfship with her’ I love it

[airgetlamhh]

Thoughts on FGO's Imaginary Scramble story?

lasengle if the solution to the mystery is transphobia i will not play your event

[verstarppen]

omfg i love your fics they’re so funny 😭😭 i had an idea for a max fic that i think you would do so well 🫶 so like she’s his teammate and she has a bf (no idea who but prob another athlete or something since they tend to kinda be fboys 👀 but not another driver please because those dynamics make me cringe in second hand embarrassment 🙏) then he like cheats on her publicly, but she decides to live in idgafistan and max helps her make her ex jealous 😝 but he’s like actually been into her for a really long time and everyone ships them and stuff and then he bags her with his irresistible chronically offline awkward white boy rizz 💋

summary; cheaters deserve to get cheated out of their career, or at least that's how max justifies destroying your ex's life

pairing; max verstappen x fem! red bull driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]

warnings; suggestive language, swearing

a/n; DISCLAIMER the boyfriend is made up and also a sims 2 reference, if by chance there is a real tennis player by the name of Dominic Lothario im so sorry sir this was not written with you in mind ALSO this is my VERY sneaky way of telling everyone my favorite song is trophäe by paula carolina so naturally i had to shove the word trophy everywhere to justify using lyrics as the title I HOPE I DID YOUR PROMPT JUSTICE also i skipped over singapore because we don't talk about singapore

liked by ynln7, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 2,104,962 others

maxverstappen1 The only time I've cheated.

view all 798,301 comments

feeltheorange WHAT DID HE SAYYYY

meepshoemaker the double take i just did cracked my neck

yukinator22 NAHHHHHHHHH

albogeant BRO DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HER TIME TO RECOVER LMAOOOOOOOO

ynln7 everyone has permission to laugh i came up with the caption

pierregasly Thank god charles_leclerc I'm going to hell I laughed before I saw your comment pierregasly Me too ynln7 assholes (affectionately)

liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 4,592,577 others

ynln7 anyway

view all 909,289 comments

christianhorner This is not the team bonding I was talking about

charles_leclerc Shut up, some of us have waited years for this pierregasly Seconded danielricciardo Third...ed?

simplyclerc LET HIM COOK

lionkingseb max verstapprizz

mcmango he saw an opportunity and he took it

redbullpapaya i manifested this with magic beyond the human comprehension

liked by maxverstappen1, ynln7, christianhorner and 2,102,094 others

redbullracing An immaculate performance today from @ maxvestappen1 and @ ynln7 that’s a 6th Constructors’ Championship for the team!! 🏆 CONGRATULATIONS, WORLD CHAMPIONS!!

view all 869,291 comments

super_max they know they ate

staraikkonen the blueprint for all powercouples

shadownorris LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

angelricciardo talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference

dominic_lothario 👎

redbullracing Shouldn't you be looking for a job? What are you doing in our comments.

kirbyvettel MAXY/N SWEEP

maxverstappen1 The trophy is not my only win this week @ ynln7

ynln7 ok now let me pass you maxverstappen1 No 🧡 You're pretty in p2

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 693,420 others

ynln7 celebrating the win the RIGHT way (playing f1 2023)

view all 108,003 comments

easportsf1 Amen

ynln7 LMAO

maxverstappen1 I let you win

ynln7 bruised ego alert

christianhorner Such a RESPONSIBLE team, aren't we?

orangleclerc THE T-SHIRT

strawberryrosberg Did they turn down the afterparty invite for this because mad respect

charles_leclerc Tell me your record, I'll beat it

ynln7 in your dreams, leclerc maxverstappen1 Beat us in real life first charles_leclerc First of all.

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

[barblaz-arts]

As someone who ships Chaggie as well, I want your opinion on this.

Someone made a kinda good point about Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship; the point being that there’s a power imbalance between them. Charlie is the princess of hell. She wouldn’t physically loose anything or be hurt physically if she breaks up with Vaggie. But Vaggie would loose both the love of her life and her home and friends if they break off. And so they see this toxic dynamic because Vaggie is “walking on eggshells” in order to stay in Charlie’s favor and not getting on her bad side.

So….thoughts?

The problem is people who say these things treat the terms "power imbalance" and "toxic" and "unhealthy" as the same things when they are not.

There is a power imbalance, yes, definitely. I constantly make jokes about the fact that Charlie and Vaggie have a forbidden love story in a Boss/Employee HR violation kinda way for pete's sake. It's just a lot more funny thinking about the fact that that probably has more weight than the demon/angel situation.

But the thing is, no matter what Charlie will ALWAYS have a power imbalance with whoever she dates because she is literally the princess of Hell, as they have said. Even if she dates a fellow hellborn royal, the fact that Charlie is in a higher position of power will always be a fact because her parents are literally the only ones above that. So what? Should she just not date anyone??? Also, isn't the one has a higher position of power but still loves the other a super popular ship trope? Rich x poor. Royalty x commoner. Goddess/immortal x normal human. Popular in school x the social loser. The list goes on. So why is it a problem now?

The fact that they think Vaggie "walks on eggshells" around Charlie is a bit...? I'm just a little confused you know? Vaggie is definitely not afraid of Charlie. When they had their fallout, she wasn't afraid of losing the things she was dependent on Charlie if they ever broke up(i.e. a home, her safety, money etc) because Vaggie damn well knows Charlie wouldn't do that. Everyone in hell knows Charlie goddamn Morningstar wouldn't do that. Vaggie was merely afraid of losing their relationship, which is a perfectly normal thing to be afraid of. Vaggie's dedication to Charlie isn't rooted in fear, it's rooted in devotion in the name of what she thinks the person she loves deserves.

The thing that makes Chaggie so great despite that power imbalance is the fact that Charlie is an absolute sweetheart. She isn't the kind of person who would take advantage of that power and Vaggie, as someone who knows her so well, is perfectly aware of that. Vaggie is safe with Charlie in every way that matters, and this is where toxicity and the unhealthy elements come into play.

Charlie and Vaggie as individuals have all the ingredients for an unhealthy relationship. As Husk so plainly pointed out, Charlie would rather fix everyone else's problems than help herself. Meanwhile Vaggie has deep self-hatred that seeps into how she feels about everyone but Charlie. They're both the type of people who would rather think about others rather than themselves. This is the root of their codependency, and why their relationship can be quite unhealthy. It's extremely evident with Vaggie, which makes perfect sense since she probably never saw herself as a person before Charlie.

Those flaws can so easily be taken advantage of in a relationship, but the thing is, do they do that? Do either of them think the other ever would? As Rosie did say...

While Charlie likes to shoulder everyone else's problems, Vaggie looks at the love her life and decides she'll take some of that load so she doesn't get crushed under the weight of the world. Vaggie reels Charlie in by being the realist to Charlie's dreamer. Vaggie used to essentially be Heaven's living weapon, but she has now sworn to be the armor for someone who looks out for everyone but herself.

On the other hand Vaggie's self-worth is shrewed because she's an ex-soldier who thinks she should always be under someone's service to be deserving of anything. But here Charlie is who constantly calls Vaggie her partner and blatantly treats Vaggie as an equal and still loves Vaggie "more than anything" and doesn't doubt that Vaggie loves her in return even after finding out Vaggie's lie and true origins.

So are they good for each other? Maybe not, but there's still more of the show to see. They can be unhealthy, but not to the point that being together damages each other in any significant way. Their relationship is imperfect, which is fine. No relationship is. Especially not in fucking HELL. And perfect for a story because, yunno... They are still in an ongoing story. They aren't a lost cause yet. It's something they can develop from, something we can get to SEE them develop from.

Are they toxic though?? Are they harming each other physically, emotionally, sexually, or financially? Definitely not. Because although whether they're good FOR each other still remains to be seen, it is an undeniable fact that they are good TO each other, despite all the ways they could not be. The unhealthy elements are due to how they treat themselves, but their relationship can't be deemed toxic because of how they treat each other. And for now, that's what matters and that's why I love this ship.

[ellecdc]

Hiii, so i got really excited about all the new ships and i wondering if i could request a poly!prongsfoot x female reader where maybe the reader completely matches their energy and its like a college au and the boys bring reader to meet all their friends for the first time and everybody is like… woah… now theres 3 of them. Just some super energetic cutesy fluff if you dont mind, thank you for considering this i really appreciate it!!! Hope your doing amazing🫶🏻

omg so I saw a post the other day and there's another ship name for Sirius x James = starbucks!! How cute? Thanks for your request and your patience - it took me some time to flush this out (I think any new ships likely will take me longer!)

poly!prongsfoot x fem!reader who's just like them

Remus doesn’t think he’s ever seen his two best friends as excited as they currently were, sitting and waiting (rather impatiently) for your arrival. 

Peter, Mary, and Lily were sitting on the booth against the wall, with Remus and Regulus sat together to the right of them, with Sirius and James to their right.

Sirius and James had been talking about this ‘perfect girl’ they met in their psych 101 class last semester, likely since the very day they met you if Remus assumed correctly. 

“She’s so pretty, Moons! I’ve never seen eyes as beautiful as hers.”

“She’s so funny! You should have heard her snarking the frat boys behind us in yesterday’s lecture.”

“She’s brilliant! She helped us study and I got 88% on our last exam!”

And now, a whole semester and a half later, they’d finally convinced you to meet their friends.

Lord knows how two of the most hyperactive and mischievous people Remus has ever had the pleasure of knowing managed to trick another person to put up with them voluntarily, but he did really like seeing them so happy and excited in life; both so deserving for different reasons. 

James deserved all the love that he so openly and willingly shared with others, and Sirius had worked so hard to become the man he is and deserved to be celebrated for it.

So, if what made them happy was a cute girl from their intro to psychology course? Well, Remus couldn’t argue with them. 

“I can’t wait until she gets here; you’re all going to love her.” James declared, shifting closer to Sirius in his excitement who quickly threw his arm over his boyfriend’s shoulders. 

“So, don’t embarrass us, alright? We want to keep her around.” Sirius added, placing a chaste kiss to James' shoulder as James practically vibrated in his seat.

“I assure you, Sirius, you do not need our help embarrassing you.” Regulus drawled, not bothering to look up from the drink’s menu in his hand.

“Oi! You take that back!” Sirius barked as he flicked the menu up into Regulus’ face. 

Remus had to quickly grip his boyfriend’s shoulder to hold him in his seat as he looked like he was about to crawl over the table to strangle his brother.

“Easy, babe.” Remus commented teasingly, “I doubt Pete, Lily, or Mary will bother calling 999 if you kill him, but their new girl may not be as understanding.”

Sirius harrumphed earning him a conciliatory kiss from James as Pete and the girls just snickered. 

Regulus’ muttering was interrupted by a commotion at the door as a group sitting near the entrance cheered at a new arrival.

“Yay! Are you finally joining us for a pub night, Y/N?!” someone shouted, causing both James and Sirius’ head to snap to attention; Remus was sure if they were dogs, their tails would be wagging and their ears would have perked up. 

“God no! I wouldn’t dream of it!” You called back teasingly, pulling away from someone who had stood to give you a hug. 

“Foul!” The person called back as their friend group laughed.

“Next time!” You promised as you moved through the crowd, face lighting up somehow even brighter when you spotted James and Sirius.

James was up on his feet the second you made eye contact with him and he all but carried you over to the group.

“Hi angel! I’m so glad you could make it!” He cheered at you as he kissed your cheek. 

“Of course, Jamie. I was looking forward to it.” You responded as you beamed at Sirius who stood as well to give you a proper hug.

“Hiya, dollface! How was your day?” Sirius asked as he held you to his chest.

“Good! Good, I’m looking forward to a drink, though.” You laughed, shucking your jacket off which James was quick to take from you to hang it on the hook attached to the booth. 

“Everyone; this is Y/N! Y/N, that there is our best mate Remus, that’s his boyfriend and less importantly my brother Regulus,” Sirius introduced, causing Regulus to scowl and Remus to chuckle as he consolingly squeezed Regulus’ knee. “And that there is our other best mate Peter, and these beauties here are Lily and Mary.”

You enthusiastically exchanged handshakes with those you could reach and no less enthusiastic waves with those who you couldn’t.

“It’s so nice to meet you all! I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Which is concerning, considering you guys met in class?” Regulus commented, earning him a booming laugh from you.

“I was doing too well in that class anyways; it’s good to keep your GPA well rounded.” You responded in jest, gently nudging a furiously blushing James with your elbow as Sirius beamed at the two of you from your other side. 

As the group of you spoke, Remus noticed a number of people coming up to clap James or Sirius on the shoulders who knew them from their classes or various extracurriculars., though that wasn’t all that unusual when attending a pub night near campus. What Remus found to be quite phenomenal was how many people happened to come up to you to do the same.

Remus supposed it made sense for his two social and quite popular friends to find a kindred spirit, but he couldn’t believe that there were three of you who appeared to be so universally liked.

Well, Remus was sure some of Sirius’ notoriety was less from his likeability and more for his flirty nature. 

Mary had a lot of fun talking to you about her Instagram feed and your TikTok, which was full of videos of you, Sirius, and James doing trendy dances to various degrees of success. 

You were eager to discuss your latest reads with Remus, Regulus, and Lily, and you all laughed at the furious blush that took over Regulus’ face when the three of you started discussing the erotic books you’d enjoyed recently. 

“I mean, really; is that appropriate to be discussing in such a public setting?” Regulus had muttered as he looked over his shoulder to ensure other patrons hadn’t heard the scandalous books the three of you had read.

“Oh, don’t be such a prude, Reggie. I’ve seen the love bites you’ve left on my mate; you’re no saint.” Sirius had drawled, causing the blush to migrate all the way down Regulus’ neck.

You even joined in with some of Peter's quick-witted jests at the boys' expense.

In the end, it was the way you fell easily into the friendly banter with the group as if you’d been part of it all along that really won Remus over, had his friends’ lovesick smiles not already thoroughly convinced him of your worth. 

“I really like Y/N.” He commented to Regulus as he finished flossing his teeth that night. Regulus scoffed without lifting his head from the book he’d been reading already comfortable in bed.

“You would.”

Remus furrowed his brow as he turned the bathroom light off and climbed into bed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’s exactly your type.”

Remus barked a laugh and pulled Regulus (quite rudely, if you’d asked Regulus) into his side, forcing him to lay the book flat on the bed lest he lose his place for good.

“I’d argue that’s not the case, seeing as you’re my type.” He murmured into his boyfriend’s neck.

Regulus rolled his eyes though his face betrayed the fondness he felt for Remus. “That’s not what I meant, tosser.”

“What’d you mean then?” He asked, trailing kisses along Regulus’ collarbone.

“I mean she’s bubbly, she’s bold and outgoing, she’s mischievous, and she seemed to put up with the lot of you quite well.”

Remus lifted his head to look at Regulus bemusedly.

“She’s a carbon copy of two of your best friends, she’s basically Sirius and James.” Regulus clarified, looking smug as Remus’ face fell in understand.

“Oh my God...” Remus whispered in horror. “There’s three of them.” 

[hazbinwhoree]

Okay so I’m violently obsessed w this man and your writings so… can I request something way too self indulgent and specific ? If this is too much feel free to ignore this ask but an Adam x fallen angel!reader who before she fell was his third wife in heaven for like a few hundred years unaware of the exterminations and when she finds out she and Adam argue and it results in her wings being ripped off and her cast to hell… and once in hell she keeps a low profile and her identity a secret. But sees about the hazbin hotel on TV and goes to offer her help to Charlie because even tho she knows she can’t go back to heaven, it’d be nice to help some sinners if possible. Not expecting things to ramp up so much and involve Adam. But like… if the angelic dagger nifty stabbed him with didn’t kill him, say charlie and reader take him into the newly built hotel and reader tries to nurse him back to health and there’s angst bc it’s been 20 years since he basically cast his own wife, his angel to rot in hell??

Sorry if you hate this idea n don’t wanna do it I totally don’t blame you I’m just on Adam brain rot and have a handful of self inserts/ocs to ship a him in different AUs but this is my favorite despite how cheesy it probably is

Twenty Years in Eternity

“What do you mean exterminate them?” (Name) asks, appalled. “Exactly what it fuckin’ sounds like, babe,” Adam laughed. “It’s population control!” “Population control!? It’s murder!” “I don’t know why you’re getting so worked up about this,” Adam scoffed.

“Because not every sinner in Hell deserves to be there!”

Silence. (Name) had just proclaimed blasphemy. Adam’s eyes moved to something behind her and his face dropped. “(Name).” (Name) turned around to find Sera, looking down at her in disapproval. “Such blasphemy is not tolerated in Heaven,” Sera said coldly.

Adam couldn’t do anything as Sera knocked (Name) to the ground, and abruptly tore off her wings. (Name) screamed. Sera opened a portal overlooking Hell, and grabbed (Name). “Adam help!” (Name) cried, struggling. Adam could only stand and watch. Neither of them were any match for Sera, who threw (Name) into the portal and shut it behind her.

And that was the last Adam saw of his wife for twenty years.

In Hell, (Name) found her way as a Fallen, until she heard about the Princess of Hell’s endeavor to rehab sinners to go to Heaven. Intrigued, (Name) made her way to the Hotel one day. She knew Heaven would never accept this plan, but she didn’t want to kill Charlie’s spirits.

(Name) quickly became a permanent fixture of the hotel, befriending the inhabitants. She got particularly close to Angel Dust.

Every year, during the extermination, she would hide, not out of fear for her life, the exorcists didn’t kill the Fallen, but so that she didn’t have to deal with the pain of seeing the angels and run the risk of seeing Adam.

Unbeknownst to her, Adam searched for her during every extermination.

(Name) was shocked when Charlie giddily announced that she had secured a meeting with Heaven. She hadn’t been expecting Heaven to let her get this far.

But further she did not get, coming back from the meeting absolutely fuming.

“What happened?” (Name) asked. “The guy was such a… such a… prick!” “Shot down the hotel idea?” “Adam didn’t even let me finish my presentation. He said Hell is forever whether we like it or not. And he cut the extermination time in half, they’re coming back in six months!”

(Name)’s blood ran cold. “Adam?”

“Yeah, like the first man, Adam. He was such an asshole.”

“Yeah that sounds like him,” (Name) muttered.

Charlie looked at her funny. “Did you know him when you were an angel?”

“Know him? I was married to him.”

Charlie’s jaw dropped. “You’re his third wife!?” (Name) nodded. “Unfortunately.”

“He talked about you,” Charlie said. “It was the only time he actually sounded genuine.” “What did he say?” (Name) couldn’t help her curiosity.

“He said that Hell is forever, and if someone like his wife could end up there with no chance out, sinners were certainly not leaving.”

(Name) hummed. “He sounded kind of sad,” Charlie said. “I think he misses you.” “Yeah, well, it’s been twenty years. He’ll get over it. He sure didn’t do anything to stop me from ending up here. We were fighting over the extermination.”

“That’s what got you sent here?” Charlie asked. (Name) nodded. “I’m sorry,” is all Charlie could say.

Weeks passed and she managed to get another meeting with Heaven, this time going past Adam and straight to the Seraphim. (Name) had no idea how she did it, but knew the results would be the same in the end.

When Charlie and Vaggie came tumbling through the portal, Charlie more upset than (Name) had ever seen her, she knew she had been right.

“He said he’s attacking the hotel first!” Charlie cried, throwing herself into Angel’s arms. “Who, Adam?” (Name) asked, feeling nauseous. “Yes!” “It’s okay, Charlie, we’ll stand our ground and defend the hotel. Remember, angels can die. We just need to get our hands on some angelic metal,” Vaggie soothed.

The next month was spent preparing for battle. (Name) was going to stay out of it, and Charlie understood. (Name) figured there wasn’t much she could contribute anyway. So when the extermination came, she locked herself in her room.

She could hear the battle raging outside, and it sounded like her side was losing. She almost went out to help, until she heard Adam’s sadistic laugh outside her window. She remembered why she wasn’t involving herself. She couldn’t face Adam.

(Name) was content staying put, until she no longer had a choice, the hotel splitting in half. She very nearly got crushed in the rubble, but somehow made it out unharmed. As she lay on the ground catching her breath, she heard a familiar, angry voice. “I started everything on Earth! All of mankind came from these nuts!”

(Name) looked up to see Adam’s back as he screamed at Lucifer and Charlie. She also saw Nifty, running up behind Adam with a knife. “NO!” (Name) cried out, but it was too late. Nifty plunged the blade through Adam’s back. Adam choked, body freezing for a moment before he fell on his stomach.

Nifty raised the blade to keep stabbing him, but (Name) ran over as fast as she could and pushed Nifty off of him.

“No, no no no.” (Name) gently turned Adam onto his back. He opened his eyes, and when he saw her, he smiled. “(Name),” he croaked. His eyes fluttered shut but the soft smile never left his face. “Adam, no, stay with me, please,” (Name) begged. She looked up at Charlie. “Please, help me!”

Adam was the last person Charlie wanted to save, but her belief in mercy and hatred of seeing (Name) so upset won over, and she knelt down beside Adam, putting pressure on his wound. “Dad, there has to be something you can do.”

Lucifer sighed. He walked over and held a hand over the stab wound, concentrating. It began to heal, just enough to stem the bleeding before Lucifer stopped. “There. He won’t bleed out, but he’s lost a lot of blood.”

Adam had fallen unconscious.

Lucifer refocused his efforts on repairing the hotel. When it was back together, Charlie helped (Name) drag Adam inside. They got to (Name)’s room and deposited Adam on her bed. Adam didn’t stir. Charlie left (Name) to have her privacy with him.

When Charlie left, (Name) unzipped and pulled off Adam’s robe, lifting up his shirt underneath to reveal the stab wound. With a wet washcloth she began to clean the wound and blood off his body. When she was done, she grabbed gauze (Charlie left her with a first-aid kit) and wrapped Adam’s torso.

Content, she finally situated him into the bed comfortably, pulling the covers up to his chest. As she knelt next to the bed, stroking Adam’s hair back gently, Adam’s eyes fluttered open. He looked panicked until (Name)’s face came into view.

“(Name).” “Adam.”

(Name) forgot all her previous anger towards Adam and hugged him in relief. “You’re okay,” she cried. Adam looked taken aback before smiling and wrapping his arms around her. “Thanks to you.” “Thanks to Lucifer, really–” “Never say his name in front of me again.”

(Name) blinked. “Right, of course. But he did kind of save your life.” “Only because of you,” Adam retorted. (Name) was silent. He had a point.

The silence consumed them as they stared at one another, waiting for the other to speak. “You abandoned me,” they said at the same time. “What?” “What the fuck do you mean–”

(Name) took a deep breath. “You abandoned me in Heaven, when Sera tore off my fucking wings and threw me down here. You abandoned me as a Fallen. How did I abandon you?”

“You abandoned me by questioning the extermination, and speaking blasphemy. You knew what happened to angels who speak blasphemy. And you still did it. There was nothing I could fucking do. Sera is like, a million times stronger than me. And for the record, I searched for you. Every extermination. I looked for you. You abandoned me, to be alone, again.”

(Name) was silent. She hadn’t realized that was how he felt about the situation.

“I love you, and I fuckin’ miss you. Alright?” Adam confessed. (Name)’s eyes began to well with tears. “I love you and miss you too.” She leaned over him and pressed her lips to his. Adam kissed back with fervor, reaching up to cup her face in one large hand. They fit together like missing puzzle pieces.

Two separated soulmates finally reunited.

[queermania]

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

[nattyswann]

Red-haired hero

Parings: captain!shanks x female!reader

Warnings: Smut, Established relationship, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hella dirty talk bc I can’t help it, shanks cums inside reader, threats of murder, mentions of alcohol, mentions of abuse? (Not from shanks), some of the known crew members are mentioned, shanks is a bit evil bc I believe in evil shanks and love mean shanks

Summary: You get assaulted in a random bar for being a pirate but your captain and crew comes to save you just in time. Shanks then comforts you after you get frustrated about the whole situation, always being there for you.

• Being a female pirate is hard. You get no respect and everyone just always assumes you’re the weakest link. I mean you aren’t as strong all the other all stars but you’re apart of the crew and deserve just as much respect and recognition for what you do.

• Even with the knowledge that you were apart of the red-haired pirates, that didn’t stop people from messing with you.

• All you wanted to do was sit at a bar and take a break from your loud crew full of reckless men. That peace was broken when even more men came to disturb you. “Barkeep!” A loud crash was heard behind you as a group of people came rushing inside the tiny bar. “Get a few bottles ready! We just caught a large bounty!”

• Ugh. Of course it was pirate hunters too. You now wanted to get out of there as soon possible in order to avoid these buffoons. Before you could finish your sake, a man sat near you. “And how about you bring out an extra bottle for this pretty lady right here.” The man leaned towards you as the barkeep slid a bottle over to you.

• “No thanks.” You smiled sweetly at the stranger before standing up. “I’m far too tipsy to accept that. How would I make it back to my ship?”

• “Ship?” The man glared at you. “Ah. So you’re a pirate.” It came to him when he peeped the device around your wrist. “That log post is a dead giveaway.” He smirked. “Yeah, captain obvious. I’m holding it for our navigator.”

• “Speaking of..” Snatching the bottle of the bar top, you turned to strut out the bar. “And I changed my mind. I’ll take this bottle for my captain.” You giggled.

• Before you could reach the door another man stepped in front of you. “Your captain?” He leaned down to your height. “Why don’t you tell me their name? Maybe when I beat them and get their bounty you’ll realize that playing pirate is stupid.”

• “She’s only acting so big cause she thinks red hair is gonna get here in time to help her.” You lightly growled under your breath. This sleazy guy is definitely gonna get what’s coming to him, Shanks surely would be here soon, but that was the last thing you wanted to happen though. It would only prove their point. Everyone already agreed that Shanks saved your ass everytime there was trouble. “He’s my captain. Why wouldn’t he save me?”

• “Shut your mouth.” The stranger proceeded to take his bottle and pour the rest on top of your head, drenching you in booze. “I guess we’ll just wait here for your captain to come get you then. Since you refuse to tell us his name.”

• “Want my name?” A ominous voice came from outside the door to the bar. You knew exactly who was behind that door and the voice that was attached to it. When he finally arrived to the scene and bust through the door with the whole crew you bit your lip in embarrassment. You hated this part. The part when all the strong men came to save your ass. “It’s Shanks.”

• You could hear gasps and gulps the moment shanks revealed himself. Some knew him by face but everyone knew him by name. An infamous emperor of the sea.

• “There’s so much commotion coming from this dainty bar.” Shanks said while he slowly strutted towards the bartender.

• “It’s like you guys are having a party!” Yassop leaned near you on the ground and put a hand on your back to help you sit up. “It’s funny seeing our crew member here.” Yassop gazed up at the man who grabbed your hair earlier. “All these men in here and not one of you helped her up?” Everyone avoided Yassop’s gaze and looked as if they wanted to piss their pants.

• “Can hardly call any of them ‘men’, can you?” Benn grunted out.

• “So.” The red-haired man pulled his sword out and stabbed it into the wooden bar top. “Why’d everyone go quiet? Weren’t we celebrating something?”

• Lucky roux pointed at the wall and let out a loud laugh. “Heya, captain! Come check this out!” When the other crew members looked over, they also let out laughs across the room. “They got all our wanted posters hung up on the wall!”

• “Awee. You guys must be big fans of us.” Lucky roux said as he snickered.

• The bar goers who were all bullying you so viciously earlier, were now as quiet as a mouse. Sure they had no problem when it was just a defenseless woman but now that the others arrived, they wanted nothing to do with you. “Well..emperors don’t t-typically dock on our little island..haha..” the bartender peeped out quietly. “I don’t really care about all that.” Shanks stayed serious, unlike his crew mates. “I wanna know why our crew member is on the floor and drenched?” Shanks then lifted his nose up in your direction and shook his head. “Drenched in what appears to be alcohol no less.” He scoffed. “What a waste of good booze.”

• “Please, sir!” The bartender put his hands up. “We’re all very sorry for what we did.” Shanks grabbed hold of his sword again, pulling it out the wood and pointing it in the air. “The person I point this sword at better run.” Everyone in the bar went still.

• The stranger from earlier that poured his drink on you had begun to run before shanks even let his sword leave the air. Benn made sure to trip the dude before he could get too far. Shanks turned in his direction and chuckled. “How did you know it was gonna be you?”

• “Are y-you really gonna kill me?” Only Shanks could make a grown man truly cry in front of an audience.

• “Nah. That’s not up to me. Y/n’s a big girl, She can make her own decisions.” He looked towards you. “If she doesn’t want us to cause a riot then I won’t.” The pirate then faced and walked towards the crying guy on the floor. “But if she decides that you hurt her too badly..” shanks glared the man down so harshly that the drunken fool had started trembling. “Then I’ll fucking kill everyone in this bar and spray your blood on the walls for the next fucker that decides to screw with y/n.”

• Yassop hollered out a loud laugh while smacking his leg. “Whew. You guys really made our captain mad.” Lucky roax joined in on the laughter. “That’s a recipe for disaster!”

• “More like a recipe for death.” Benn chimed in.

• “Enough.” You called out from the corner of the bar. “I’ll be fine.” You quickly walked over to shanks and put a hand on his chest to calm him down. “I think they’ve learned their lesson.”

• “You sure?” He lowered his weapon momentarily to look into your eyes. Making sure his full attention was on you. He leaned down and whispered in your ear. “You know what I’d do for you. Just say the word.” He put his sword back on his hip so that he could stroke your arm with his hand. “Don’t be afraid to speak up.” “I’m not afraid of these fools.”

• “I mean don’t be afraid of what I’d do.” “I’m serious, shanks. I’m fine.”

• “Fine then.” Shanks smiled and turned back to the guy on the ground. “See how sweet she is? She just saved your life.” The man nodded. Shanks got serious again. “Say ‘thank you’ to her.”

• “T-thank you! Thank you ma’am!” He clasped his hands together to show his appreciation.

• “Let’s get outta here, captain.” Benn said as he flicked his cigarette and stepped on it. Shanks led the way and the rest of the crew followed him out of that crummy bar. Leaving all of the destruction behind. That place definitely lost a few customers that day.

• Once the two of you were back on the ship, alone in his room, you finally let off some steam. “It’s not fair.” You grunted as you kicked the wall. “I know.” He reached out to hug you and held you close against his chest. “It must be so frustrating.” You accepted him taking you into his embrace but still scoffed. “Im serious, shanks.”

• “I’m serious too, y/n.” He said as he stroked your hair with his one hand. “I hate it when someone treats my crew members like their weak. Especially over something as stupid as their gender. I mean, I didn’t add you to my crew because you’re weak.”

• You pushed away from him a bit to look up at him. “No, you added me because you wanted to fuck me. That’s even worse.” Now looking down at the ground in embarrassment. “All the other crew members know it too. I’m not an asset and I just keep your bed warm.”

• Shanks let go of you and bent down to your height to meet your eyes that were avoiding his. “Is that seriously what you think?” When you gave him no answer, he grabbed your chin to make you look at him. “If that were the case then you woulda been out the crew a while ago.” He just giggled and patted your head. “Think about it, y/n. It’s a crew full of dumb men with guns and swords.” Shanks laughed even harder like you said something hilarious. “We woulda been dead ages ago without you. All of the best crews have a smart woman secretly running shit.”

• Looking into his grey eyes mixed with his sweet words made you so weak. Only with him could you let your guard down so much. “Do you really mean that or are you still just trying to get me in bed as we speak.”

• “Oh I’m telling the full truth..” He leaned his hand against the wall behind you as he also leaned his body in for a kiss. Of course, you accepted the kiss and opened your mouth for him. For a moment he broke the kiss just to finish his sentence. “If I happen to talk my way into your pants in the process then that’s just a plus.”

• “Well it’s working.” “Good. You wanna take it to the bed then?”

• After you gave a small nod, Shanks took his arm and used it to throw you over his shoulder. Ugh. It’s not fair. Even with one arm he was still so strong. It wasn’t long before you reached the bed and he lightly tossed you down. “Since my poor baby was having such a bad day, I’ll give her a present first.”

• Shanks spread your legs and used his hand to hold your hip. He sat down in front of you so he could lean forward and place kisses all over your beautiful thighs. “I always love the way you taste. It never gets old.” While shanks continued to set kitten licks on your clit, he put one finger inside you just to be a tease. “I know I’m doing you a favor but could you do me one and beg for me?”

• “Ahh..it’s soo good, shanks.” You said while clutching onto his beautiful red hair. “Gonna cum soon!” Shanks hummed as he lapped at your pussy like it was his salvation. As if your juices and slick was holy water to him. “I’m waiting.” The moment Shanks felt you tighten around his tongue, he sent his fingers to rub quick circles on your clit to send your senses into overload. Momentarily kissing your thigh to give you extra comfort and to show his attention was fully on you. “Cum on my tongue and lemme taste all the juices this yummy cunt has to offer.”

• That was it. Just then you felt an explosion of orgasmic pleasure run through you. While you shook, shanks made sure to hold you close to him. He took his arm that was wrapped around you and reached back down to stick two fingers back in your hole that was already so sensitive. You whined and let your head fall forward onto his shoulder. Shanks only put them back in to feel your pussy clench over and over while you finished your orgasm.

• “Wow..Look at you. Haven’t even taken my cock yet and you’re already such a fucking mess. Maybe I shouldn’t fuck you tonight..” Shanks said in a teasing manner. You shook your head and reached out for him. “No! Please, I want you right now!”

• Shanks smirked and kissed your collarbone. “I know, baby. I’m just teasing ya.” Your man spent no time stripping himself of his clothing, You making sure to help him (since he only has one arm). He yanked his pants down, revealing the cock he was about to split you in half with. You’ve taken him several times but it still took some preparation for him to be able to slide in with utter ease.

• When the two of you got situated, shanks got on top of you and spread your legs, using his arm to put one of your legs up on his shoulder. “I just know your cunt can’t wait to take me.” He said as he put his tip on your clit, rubbing it a bit to see you writhe. “Look at how messy you are. Getting slick all over my sheets. You’re about to make my cock so messy too.”

• “Shanks! Please stop teasing me!” You moaned out when you felt him poke only his tip in your entrance. “I’m sorry. I’m being mean again..I forgot I’m supposed to be making you feel better.” He kissed you on the cheek as he finally pushed the rest of his shaft inside of you. He dips down and you wince at the stretch you start to feel. Shanks only just started but you already felt soo full. Groaning when he could finally get his honey around him. “Please make me cum quickly shanks..I need it now.”

• Shanks would fuck you forever if he could. It’s like your pussy was made for him. To be fair, was the one who took your virginity and he’s told you multiple times how he’d make sure that he’s the only one fucking you. The only one who gets to taste your delectable cunt. No one else would get to see you become undone the way you do with your man.

• “You are so antsy. Since it’s all about you this time, I’ll give to you quick like you asked.” Shanks took hold of your thigh again and started to pound into you at a rough pace. “Since you want to rush me you better hurry up. Cum on my dick like you did my tongue and fingers. Such a dirty girl.”

• His thrusts began to speed up and get more sloppy as he was closer to bursting inside of your warmth. “Your fucking pussy keeps clamping down on me. His lips found their way to your neck. Then your lips, Licking and sucking in an attempt to rip more moans from your plump lips. “You’re seriously the light of my life. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. I’ll protect you no matter if they laugh.”

• Through your loud pleas for more, you could hear a light chuckle slip past his lips. “They’re all just mad that I’m the one gets to fuck you this good every night.” “Shanks..I love…I love you.” Before you could even process what you were doing, your arms flew to wrap around his broad shoulders and hug him closer to you. “Don’t want anyone else but you.”

• The red-haired man just smiled at the rose tinted expression you wore and caressed the soft skin on your cheek. “I love you too, princess.” Those fives words are the most simple in the world but it meant so much to you. Knowing that he reciprocated your feelings made the upcoming orgasm that much more important than the last.

• Beforehand, you believed he only wanted you for your virgin body but after hearing shanks actually say it, made up all the difference. “Do you mean it..?”

• “Hmm. Let’s see..” before answering your question, shanks gave a few more rough thrusts to get to his finish. “If I didn’t..I wouldn’t have just came so much in your raw cunt.” When he seen your shocked yet relieved expression, shanks knew how much you loved the feeling of his cum filling you up. Fingers grasping the sheets while you dry heave and try to regain consciousness.

• “Don’t forget that I’d do anything for you.”

[morallyinept]

A full transcribe of EZRA'S dialogue/lines from the film PROSPECT.

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

Please also see my Writing For Ezra Guide for further analysis of his character and dialect.

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

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Edited - I've been made aware of some errors since the original posting of this, so I've edited it to correct. Special thanks to those who have let me know! 🖤

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FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:

*Fading in* … Curious.

Don't see too many kips around these ways anymore.

Not a kip… a returner!

Is that a serious question?

I believe you, gentle man.

But my partner always needs a little convincing. He'll just kill me, if I let you go without a thorough search. I never caught your name, friend.

Nice to meet you, Damon. I'm Ezra. I can't tell you how refreshing it is… hoo, to encounter another talker. It's been quite some time since we've run into anyone with fluid in motion. Where're you from, Damon?

How poetic. I take it you're a, hmm… floater? Freelancer. You don’t look very Fringely.

Yeah, don’t we all.

Alright, Damon. Understand what, now?

Damon, it has truly been a pleasure, but… pleasantries passed, it's time to gut the fencer. To be completely candid, this haul has proven to disappoint. Me and my partner both feel we deserve… satisfaction. You understand? 

So, how did you get here, Damon?

Your ship. Where is it? Or perhaps a ship is a tick too rich for you, a drop pod, I reckon. 

Excellent. The starter, if you don't mind.

Where is it? Don't make me root for it, Damon. I guarantee you, I'll make it an unnecessarily painful process.

That is not necessarily true. Nevertheless, continuing within the act of killing is a broad spectrum of technique. So, there is still an incentive for you to acquiesce if that's where you're getting at.

A twist? Go on.

And why would you be so cryptic under rails? You are lucky I am not immune to intrigue. But be careful you don't overplay this technique.

I've seen my share.

That's a theory.

It's funny. I don't see any mercs. Where are they?

Okay. I'd like to believe you. Admittedly, more out of desire than good sense. But Damon… if there is talk of the queen’s lair, the excitement is all but in involuntary.

And there's three of us. We split it in thirds. That's an even split.

This is so exciting!

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What did your outfit look like, back in the day? You've always went solo?

Fancy. We had a full crawling party when we arrived here. Not one of your freighter takes, a testin' screamer.

Mercs in the Green, huh? Last I heard the word "merc" was way back when Crebon raiders hit up all the corporate expeditions.

Caero clan? You friendly with these fellas?

These cables… Goddamn it.

You know, this is something I have never seen in all my time on The Green. A little girl. 

Damon, I have clearly underestimated you, I must stop doing that.

Damon… Does this mean that the plan is off? You have me all up and bothered over the queen's lair, Damon.

Alright, you can have your fabled spoils all to yourself. But if your talk of the queen's lair is true… this is just a scratch.

Your girl is scared. You should listen to her. No harm done, yet.

It's a shame, Damon. We could've been rich together.

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You got a field-kit?

Hey! Field-kit!

Are you gonna shoot?

That is… technically true.

Kevva waits, girl! Shoot or help! Just make a move.

Get me a kit and we can talk.

Your offer is indeed generous. Y'know, I'd be more than happy to sign and seal, save for one glaring slip. My ship.

Well I did. Then there was an event with my crew concerned in a bit of Aurelac and… words and metal flew. And now, I don't. We're in the same trough, you and I. Can’t say I was pleased to find your mare all black and cockways as she was supposed to be my redemption as well. 

Whoa! Whoa! Just slow down a beat there, little bird. At least wait for the counter-offer.

How is it you intend to get home? That is the goal. Am I right?

The Mercs. They’re real aren’t they? Mmm-hmm. And the queen's lair? Mmm-hmm.

You are making a run for them. 

Listen, I know well the lure of vengeance. I myself have… frequently indulged, and I have not often found regret. But in this moment, right here, I'm afraid for both our sakes, I must riposte.

I say, we go to your mercs. I play the prospector. And together we ravage the queen.

Let me help you. I can harvest. I can offer protection. A girl your age, a child, wanders into a camp of fringely mercs, raw. At the end of the tour, what happens? You appeal to their sympathies? They have none. They are ruthless profiteers. You must have something to offer or they will find something to take from you.

That's the fringe, girl. If you're one to point fingers at extortion, well, there's not much I can say.

Now, hold on. I'm keen to make the case that Damon killed himself.

He was trying to steal my trophy case, is what he was trying to do. A man's work is no petty thing. To you, his daughter… I truly apologise for my contribution to his passing. But he was stealing my entire harvest. And actions like these foment the threat of appropriate reactions. Your father knew that, and if didn't, then he had no business in The Green.

I am, indeed. But, are you?

It was all in the name of self-preservation, birdie, it was nothing personal.

I’m your safest route home and in the end we’ll both be rich. 

Of course. There is one more thing. My filter's spent. I'm gonna need a hook-up.

__________________

What is your name?

Do you mind if I take a look?

What do you know about these mercs? When did they arrive? How many are there?

He didn’t tell you anything? It's bad practice keeping you in the dark, if you ask me.

A deep partnership is only made so by candid discourse.

Number Two was more of a utility than a partner. And it seems like your father treated you the same way.

What's your name?

Well, I have to call you something.

Oi, Number Three. Watch that tube, girl. Straight finger. 

Thank you. 

If you don't know the thing about channel rats, is when they fornicate, they excrete a hormone substance - I don't really know what it's called - but it's uncannily sticky, it cocks up electrics. And it smells exactly like, but significantly more potent than, stale human urine.

Anyways, we stripped every panel in that ship. We clubbed those rat beavers to death. Two at a time. It was a toilsome marathon of carnage. We never did find the nest. 

You know, eventually, you're gonna have to trust me.

Just give me a moment.

You should keep the thrower low, we could be surrounded.

I said, keep it low. 

Don't show any sign of aggression. Drop it. Put your hands above your head.

Just do it. 

Just do it! Now!

We have to follow him. The wound would appear… ideal bite. It still has some venom. The dust. It’s found its way in and now it festers. The Sater are religious settlers and tedious scavengers. They should be amenable to trade for medical supplies.

We don’t have a choice.

Shoot me, then. 

__________________

(Greets in Sater language) I have sustained a wound that, due to inadequate treatment, now festers pink. I was hoping you had some juice?

Thank you, sir. We are tremendously grateful.

I thought perhaps it might interest you for trade.

A wise and understandable measure. We shall stow them at our discretion and return shortly, unarmed. Is that acceptable to you and your colleagues?

Here.

__________________

That was beautiful.

Juice. It's good for you, cleanses the dust.

Thank you for your kindness. Now, as you can see, I have sustained a trauma to my shoulder. I would much like to flush it with your magic juice. And to keep straight… we would also be very much interested in proper dressing, and filter refreshers, if you have them and can spare them? In return for your gracious offering, we are prepared to compensate with generosity in equal measure.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

That is a bold offer.

What do you need her for?

__________________

(Ezra’s radio transmission) Hello! Hello to the green! I got… *inaudible*... I got one or two fourteen grade root pearls that I'm willing to part with for well over the peakest of rush rates. Nothing funny. Just a desperate man trying to make a bad deal with the right hold out. If anyone is out there, don't hesitate to click on...

Take your helmet off.

You look like shit. Eat it. There’s cases of 'em in here.

Here. I need your help.  

After you left, those Sater weren't too keen on helping me out… So I had to treat myself. I botched the excision. I was unable to clean and scrape the blackness. Now if I don't lose my arm, it'll kill me. And I can't perform the procedure by myself.

No. 

You ever use one of these before? It's easy. Prime it like this… then there are five levels of intensity. Two for the flesh, four for bone. You got it? 

Thank you.

I won't feel a thing. Hack away. Quick, confident strokes are best. Try to go full circuit on the first cut. 

I've never had to use these surettes before. Kind of nice… tingling, almost like… oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit!

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit.

No, I don’t know. Keep going, you're doing great. Keep going until you hit bone. 

I’m gonna miss him. My primary weapon, been with me my whole life. Always there, ready to help, no job too gritty, no love too intimidating. 

Up to four, as soon as it's off, give my stump a hearty coat in the juice and cream it all shut! Clear? 

How are you so calm? You've done this before.

__________________

So, where’s home?

Spoken like a true floater. What's that book you carry around?

"Streamer Girl"?

You wrote a novel?

There's not a lot of literature in circulation out here.

Well, it seems I must.

You memorised it?

Not at all. It's quite impressive.

Focus on what?

Well, you can't… you can't think like that. You go down that path, it's not good. If you need someone to blame, you blame me. You need to think about your next move. Be on that freighter in a tick.

It’s nice to meet you, Cee. 

__________________

Well. There's our ride.

Stay clear and close and I’ll talk us through. When it comes time to dig, I’ll need you to be sharp. I've never harvested one-handed before. I'm gonna need some help. But we'll keep it creamy and it’ll all be fine.

Damon, here for the dig. You wouldn't believe the time we’ve had of it, getting here. I wholeheartedly apologise for being late. But after the storm tidied us off mark, we were already a cycle back and naturally-

I wholeheartedly apologize. You wouldn't believe…

Well, actually… uh, before we get started. I'm afraid I must interject. I haven't been completely candid with you yet. After an erring landing and toilsome trick, there is one more significant detail to our story, one that forces us to leverage our talents for little bit more than the agreed upon price.

It's not more of a cut we're after. The points are more than adequate payment for the two of us. Rather it's a means of transit we lack. 

Well, now, what she means to say is that while transport is a requisite part of the deal, we are willing to forgo two points. Which by any reckoning is exorbitant compensation for a hop into orbit.

Oh, come now. In a prize… Scrap well over the weight of the passenger and a half. Cargo braces. That's one hundred, one-thirty right there.

You're not understanding me. Everything has changed. If you're not willing to scrap payload, scrap crew for all I care, but you'll find a way, if you want that buried treasure.

I am the gatekeeper to more wealth than any of us have ever seen, and you've been wasting in The Green for far too long to let that slip away. I'm afraid, I am the only means to the successful end of your venture. And I say the terms have changed. Thirteen, plus a ride for me and my partner on your handsome craft or no deal. Find a way.

My boy, this is a winner! I think a little back up thrust is an easy drop under the circumstances. What do you say, boss?

Gentlemen. And women… Let's get rich!

__________________

Strange method for an execution. What did this fella do to land him in the box?

How convoluted!

Somebody ought to give her a go.

That's the price for a dry breach. But my chem will calm the brine.

Hello, sweetheart.

It's a big one.

You got it? Hold it nice and tight.

Hold it like you love it. 

Oh. That's perfect.

Slippery son of a bitch.

No, no, no. Shit!

Not to worry, we go again.

(Muttering to self) *Inaudible* (?)leech on the(?) …cock spitters … cannot fuck more nuggets in this sleep for snatch, pearls… 

It's a little difficult to carve weak-handed!

Now hold on!

Those shots will bring the rest of ‘em in.

I don’t know.

Greedy fool! Couldn't help himself. Took a stumble, getting a closer look. Now, time presses and I am gonna need assistance if we're-

Go, go, go!

Move!

I'm out.

If we uncouple you can run a distraction, opening me up for the backstab. 

Are you sure?

You run fast and you don’t stop. You keep plenty of trees between you and her. You come straight back here as soon as I make the kill so we can re-couple. Clear?

You need to go. You grab the gun and you go. You can make it. 

Get outta here!

__________________

DELETED SCENE:

What is your name? 

Well, I have to call you something. 

Once, a long time ago, there was a channel rat. Well, first there was an entire nest. Caulked up in the floorboards of my skimmer, this was back when I was running catkins with my brother in Parson. 

If you don’t know, thing about channel rats, is when they fornicate, they excrete a hormone substance - I don’t remember what it's called - but the relevant details are that it is uncannily sticky, it cocks up electrics, and it smells exactly like, but significantly more potent than, stale human urine.

So, this horny cohort is scrambling around unseen, plastering up my walls with their piss paste, and the smell… was so horrific. And we had to wear nuke suits all the time, even when we slept.

So, after we exhausted our repertoire of civilised extermination methods, it soon devolved into barbarism. 

We stripped every panel in that ship and clubbed those rat beavers to death, two at a time. It was a toilsome marathon of carnage. But the bag of corpses steadily grew heavier.

We never did find the nest. But by the end of the run, we were down to what as far as we could tell was the last rat standing. This little bitch waits until we make ground fall, saunters into the galley, climbs up onto the table, and I spin you not, stands right up on its hind legs and starts calmly munching on a piece of bush bread. 

Maybe it was our impending reunion with civilization, or maybe it was exhaustion, but neither of us could bring ourselves to bash that last channel rat. So we just sat there and watched it eat the entire biscuit.

When it was done, it walked over to the airlock, waited at the hatch as if it expected us to just open it, so we did. And then walked out. 

You remind me of that channel rat, so in the absence of a given moniker, I will now call you Channel Rat. 

Number Three it is. 

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

[amerricanartwork]

I must admit really like this ship! It's just so wholesome and soft, and I'm a total sucker for "big husband x tiny wife" pairings.

It's also really funny to me because:

And also a couple more doodles since I did a simple sketch page with them:

I have so many ideas about them, but for now, I hope you enjoy these simple preliminary sketches!

Oh, and rather than calling it "Barbecue", I'm opting to borrow @chocobewyartist 's ship name "Spicybun" because if you ask me, that's just sounds so much more soft and sweet, and these two totally deserve it!

[redriotinggg]

Hey I saw your post about Zoro and Sanji getting jealous over every person they meet getting a crush on Usopp and it reminded me that I made up an entire Pirate Crew OC's with the sole purpose of all of them having a crush on Usopp (because he deserves having a bunch of people fawning over him <3) and how this bleeds to Zoro and Sanji (and to a minor degree Nami and Luffy) to get a little more "possesive" over him like sitting closer to him, glaring at the other crew members (Luffy in his Luffy way), more physical contact (specially Sanji), Usopp meanwhile thinks its all really funny but tries not to think too much about it or he'll get really flustered

Meanwhile the other crew is just chilling talking amongst them how cute the Strawhats Sniper is, mildly oblivious to the rest of the crew's murder looks (as in, lets ignore it because obviously that guy is taken and we respect that)

Anon your brain is so gigantonormous……… I’d like to assign myself the role of Captain of the Usopp Admirers.

IDK what your OCs are like but I imagine that a scenario such as this can go as follows:

The Straw Hats are hanging around on an island while they wait for their log pose to reset and they run into another pirate group. Luckily, the other pirates are similar in their interest in having fun adventures rather than looting or pillaging. It's good times all around as the two crews laugh party, eat, and drink. It doesn't take long for Usopp to take his place on the main stage and grab everyone's attention as he shares the dramatic tales of the Straw Hats. His crew mates are watching fondly as the other pirates are left starstruck by their sniper and storyteller. Usopp happily plays his role as an entertainer--dancing, singing, telling jokes, doing magic tricks, and showing off his sniping skills. The other crew head back to their ship that first night singing Usopp's praises.

Over the next few days, the pirate crews mingle and it soon becomes clear to the Straw Hats that their new friends are completely enraptured by Usopp. The rest of the Straw Hats are chopped liver compared to their sniper, only made worse by him playing into it and soaking up all the attention. Nami can't help but feel scorned when she catches him fixing up a weapon for one of the other pirates. Luffy frowns when someone on the other crew throws an arm around Usopp's shoulder. Sanji bites his cigarette in half when Usopp is handfed food made by the other pirate crew's chef. Zoro grips the hilt of his sword when he goes to one of the other pirates for protection.

The Straw Hats are a possessive bunch, so it doesn't take long for the other pirates to realize that their admiration of Usopp is going to have to remain platonic. If looks could kill Zoro would've slain them a thousand times over. He doesn't say much, but he stays near Usopp and glares when one of the other pirates gets too close. Nami makes sly comments about their sniper, who is their priceless treasure. Sanji is even touchier than usual as he runs his hands over Usopp's arms, holds his hand, and tugs on his hair. Luffy doesn't bother hiding his jealousy. When his frustration boils over he grabs Usopp and yells that Usopp is his sniper and they can’t have him!

As his partners, Zoro and Sanji can’t simply allow for their boyfriend to be accosted right in front of their eyes. They kiss him right in front of everyone. They whisper promises in his ear that make him go red in the face. Sanji calls him pet names and Zoro holds him from behind.

Usopp is absolutely loving all of the attention. He's embarrassed because he doesn't really understand why he's the one being fawned over, but he'll happily soak up all the adoration. He loves seeing how much his nakama care for him and it's pretty funny to see how possessive they can be.

The other crew find the Straw Hats’ possessiveness amusing, and they’re glad that Usopp is part of a crew that loves and value him so much. They leave the island with lots of hugs and compliments for their favourite sniper and promises to meet up later on the Grand Line.

“Usopp, love?” Sanji says once the other pirates’ ship is out of sight. “Let’s avoid entertaining affections from other pirates in the future, hm?”

Zoro nods, arms crossed. “Don’t entertain anyone. You don’t need them. You have us.”

Usopp laughs and buries himself further in their arms. “Hey, it’s not my fault that everyone wants a piece of the Great Captain Usopp. But yeah, okay. You guys are all I need.”