#(not sure how to refer to him. only in episode 12. also that scene broke me to my core

[tardis--dreams]

I am SUCH a sucker for seemingly emotionless and unempathetic characters having a complete breakdown, crying, sobbing, falling to their knees- good stuff

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina watch party episodes 10-12: non-fungible thordak

"she's not having any of our shit tonight"

did matt get a haircut

"you're not leaving 'til 2 am, bitch"

"are you a vampire coven?" "if taliesin were here we could talk about it"

episode 10 act 4 part 3

"this is where we forgot to draw the city"

liam fangirling his own show

"OPE he lost his fingers"

"stop SPOILING. there's gonna be ACTION in the show."

"the tree piece in this game is really OP"

"shitty vox machina came in to ruin their Warhammer game"

"I forget which animals are fused with humans."

"shut UP matt"

"shout out - oh shit he's in the room"

"you slapped porkchops for like hours"

why does that sound like a euphemism

"I feel like that'd be it for me"

"matt mercer is mean!" "I didn't spend hours building those toothpick barricades for nothing!"

"that's why we named her pike"

"is there no basement? there is not"

bassment

I love how much they love their show. I know I was poking at liam earlier but it genuinely is so charming

"same arrow! that's called being responsible"

phil defending his poor herdsmen

"you guys are VIOLENT"

"TOP ROPE"

"spoilers!" maybe it'll be different on my screen

"and they were correct"

I FORGOT HE ONLY HAD ONE HITPOINT

recklegreweapomastah

"you sound like you've had your ass kicked" environmental storytelling

"there's a z-pack in there somewhere"

"zanror, needlessly hot" liam is fully horny on main tonight

"are they brothers like neptune and uranus were cousins"

"but I was born in canada"

"I actually had to shit myself for that line" "we all did"

"it's fun! and also disgusting!"

"let's not psychoanalyze me tonight"

"keyleth is the cutest" glad we're all in agreement

matt is all of us

"get a JOB leave him ALONE"

"she's bullying vax" "you're not wrong"

"he's doing the whole band" how else are you gonna get backstage

"we had to cut things from other episodes to get in 'at dawn we plan'" good

you are now Neutral with The Herd

release the underwear bible

"it is a square"

"you know what's weird? watching this scene with your kids"

"HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS" "it was very difficult"

"did you have to have a talk about bondage and safety?!"

"we have…DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES"

COLOR SCRIPT COFFEE TABLE BOOK

GIMME

that's a cool band logo

oh NO

matt broke all over again

listen sometimes you just have to have a mental breakdown, it's good for your mental health

"we asked! we forgot."

"turkey vulture!"

"in a week we can talk about it. …something else bad will happen by then." my life for the past year and a half

sam: let me make this as awkward as possible so it can only get better from here

"you write a creepy thing and you feel guilty about it" "critical role"

the writers were on top of that one

"we talk all the time you guys"

"none of this should be happening"

"see, now chat's mad at you"

SAM

THAT was liam?!

I'm turning in my voice actor fan card

"you're gonna be the guy they hit"

the fact that he wasn't doing a low bass was why I didn't clock him tbh

"take that, vegeta"

EPISODE ELEVEN

"seventy-five!" "eighty-three!" "hike!"

OH the mugs!

samuel

"beautiful nonsense scene"

travis slapping sam's hand away from the edits

"what you did is bad!"

"THIS IS A GOOD SHOW"

"I'm sure it's fine"

"this is taliesin's front yard, actually"

"look what they did to my boy"

"campaign 4 reference, shh"

"kiss him, vax"

I looked up the show sam and liam referenced, it aired 92-93. I was 4.

umbrasyl listens to linkin park, it's canon

"he's a lot less menacing if you think of him as a whiny kid" there's a lot of that in that last fight

"award-winning awkwardness"

"ashley did not have to act here"

"I think taliesin wrote some of this bullshit"

"if you'd stop FEEDING THEM"

"cut my heart out" liam gets me

"blood pools are my kink"

"it's capri-sun, it's fine"

"it's a discotek at night"

"I've had this dream" I have been blessed to not have drowning dreams, if that changes now I'm fighting matt in the street

between the two of them liam and courtenay voiced half of new vegas

matt drop the raven queen lore

matt you have to tell sam's kids it's the law

"is it YOU?"

not the creepy cg mask

"he's just a little dork!" accurate

percy 100% would have been a train nerd

why did liam's mic pick up him knocking on his head so clearly

very cool that they built the trap in 3d

"this is basically a documentary"

"HO DAMN"

"he goes INVISIBLE?!"

phil with the list of the names

that, that "can't hit what you can't see" felt very adolescent to me

"some said longer, some said shorter" "we disregarded both!"

"the only episode this season where we end on a cliffhanger"

"episode 47 down"

travis I heard you echo that "duty"

remembering that liam went through all of this while dealing with his mother's death

matt: like comment and subscribe

"if you don't do it you'll turn into a squidface" "that's season 3"

"for some people that's a plus"

I don't know why I like the phrasing "deity version" so much

"there's love there!"

the way he says "conversations" means those two have definitely had at least one fistfight over canon

DARGINS

weasel dragon

Dragon Department

CEO of Dragons

I want "Dragon Team" on my resume

"because percy invented the metric system"

"it's canon now"

17 de Rolos

UMBRASSYL

"chat wants you to show - " "your muscles"

"I practice in the car so my neighbors don't call 911"

EPISODE TWELVE

hope devouwewer

"I want a pink dragon that spits out glitter"

"back inside that bad dragon" liam no

watch out for that treeeee

"but HOW THOUGH" sam gets me

"always bring a healer" stares at laura

"when the raven from the opening went by I fell out of the chair"

"you don't have to choose one" mica/percy/vax polycule

embiggened vestige

umbrasyl on 3G

"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD"

travis keeps catching himself from saying "d&d" and says "ttrpg"

"that's just liam just talking to me"

"kiss her you fool"

scanlan as paul rudd makes 100% sense and I hate it

"RUDE. UNNECCESARY. didn't have to do it and did it anyway"

vex can't feel vax bc gatshadow's made of lead

"ancient dragon, he can do what he wants"

"we had another ending in case we didn't get a season 3 where scanlan ran and everyone died" "whAT?"

"why would you DO THAT TO ME"

liam stop saying bad dragon

"ANIME YELL"

to make an omelette you have to crack a few scanlans

"that's a scrabble word"

"the theme….but slow"

"it's all hue lights"

wait WHAT

rewatches every previous yennen scene

"she could have written a letter" but the mail fraud

age has only done amazing things to cree summer's voice

"what porpoise"

"to go do Vegas"

"put it all on red"

"I'm putting it all into bitcoin"

"he's a cryptobro" "he IS the big bad!"

"you don't get the egg, but there's a code for each individual egg"

I made the poor decision to drink liquids during the watch party again

"that's that thing that I said!"

you know what it makes me think of lernie from hades

this is not a complaint

GOD I mentioned an artbook and now I want it so bad

thordak: talking mad shit for someone in thagomizer range

sketchy vax wings?!

sketchy vax wings!!

"it's not over for all you lefthanded people"

"my wife's a lefty and every morning I say the same thing"

"don't worry laura, you'll be something someday"

The Internets

where's that comic that always makes me cry with the AWNP lines over That Counterspell

matt dropped out of art school to be a rules lawyer

ghibli keyleth!!

cASSeteria

"now you've made me sad" "GOOD"

"fifteen seasons and a movie trilogy"

"he's the EP so he said he gets the killing blow"

"is that you writing" "he uses a typewriter"

"oh god I have to do this again"

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

You Can Run... (S2, E11)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - Baby!Malcolm and baby!Ainsley playing together is so cute. <3 

0:05 - Malcolm is playing with Batman (the hero) and Ainsley is playing with the Joker (the villain). But Ainsley wants to play with Batman. Coincidence? Foreshadowing? I’m torn. 

0:20 - ....I can’t tell if this is regular “kid fake crying to get sibling in trouble”, “bad fake crying because kid actors are still just kids who are learning”,  or “Ainsley is a psychopath and she’s never been able to cry properly fake crying”.

0:50 - “I’d much rather stay at home with my favourite guy.” UgH. Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep. No wonder Malcolm has so many Daddy issues. This broke my heart. Malcolm clearly idolized Martin. Martin was his hero. :( 

1:35 - “Where are you? Talk to me.” This hurts because it makes sense. Malcolm’s one constant in life was his father’s voice. For better or for worse. It reminds me of anxiety disorders/depression. Part of you doesn’t want to heal. You don’t know what to do without the pain and fear. You don’t know who you’d be. The unknown is scarier than the pain and misery. That’s Malcolm right now. He knows Martin is bad for his mental health but he’s afraid to lose Martin because without Martin’s voice Malcolm has no idea who he is. 

1:55 - I can’t decide if I love or hate Ruiz. She’s really combative? Like Malcolm didn’t say “You’re here to take over” aggressively. At all. I respect the hell out of her for being a total badass and good at her job....but she’s also kind of verbally aggressive? And pretending she doesn’t know Martin is Malcolm’s father? Like - I know she was probably trying to break the ice but it was really unprofessional and kind of a dick move? IDK something about Ruiz just kind of rubs me the wrong way (no this isn’t sexism. I’m a woman working in a male-dominated field. I respect the hell out of career-driven women. This is purely just something about her personality that bothers me.)

2:41 - Oh yeah. Gil did not like the joke about Ruiz not knowing The Surgeon = Malcolm’s father. Look at Gil. He’s annoyed but he’s also worried af about what that little comment did to his already mentally fragile profiler. 

3:22 - Just how many times has Malcolm played that voicemail since the end of 2x10? It looks like Gil’s already heard it. Dani’s probably heard it. How many times did Malcolm listen to it - desperately searching for clues? This is not good for Malcolm’s mental health. He needs a hug - not to listen to his manipulative serial killer father on repeat (although, that’s kind of the show isn’t it?). Also, where’s the “we’re the same” part of the message? Did Malcolm delete the end of the message? Maybe so he doesn’t become a suspect? 

3:32 - Look at how utterly furious and concerned Gil is. Guys. Guys. Papa!Gil is BACK. <3 <3 <3 <3 Oh how I’ve missed him. Seriously though, Gil looks absolutely livid (at Martin) because he can see how upset Malcolm is and he knows it’s all Martin’s fault. Plus the concerned looks he keeps shooting at Malcolm? <3 My heart <3 

3:39 - “Of course not.” LIAR. I truly believe this episode is an excellent example of a character “knowing something as fact in their heads but feels the opposite way in their hearts”. Malcolm is still a little boy desperate for his father’s love. Problem is, Malcolm is also a highly educated adult man who knows that his father is incapable of truly caring about him. 

3:55 - Gil watching Malcolm’s hand shake. <3 I have no words. Gil looks so concerned. We’re getting so close to a full Malcolm breakdown and I’m here for it. If we get a full on intervention and/or hospital scene I will be the happiest person alive. 

4:15 - A couple of things 1) look at how Capshaw is glancing around the room when Gil, Malcolm, and Jessica are talking about how Daryl tried to kill Jessica. Capshaw is showing equal amounts of disdain, envy, and guilt. 2) Gil making a joke just to make Jessica and Malcolm smile is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Gil is single handedly, emotionally, holding these two together and it’s the content I’ve been desperate for. 

4:42 - <3 <3 My heart is melting. <3 Gil’s little smile when he looks at the picture of baby!Malcolm and baby!Ainsley. Look me in the eyes and tell me Gil isn’t their dad. I’ll fight you. 

4:50 - “All the kooks will come out. I know the drill.” Poor Jessica. She’s really been through a lot of crap. :( 

4:55 - Did Gil shoot Capshaw that suspicious look because he was about to show blatant physical affection to Jessica or because he suspects Capshaw knows something about Martin? Maybe both?

5:00 - Sooooo Gil and Jessica just flirt openly in front of Malcolm now? ....Look at Malcolm’s reaction to their little moment. That boy has heart eyes. <3 Forget Brightwell - Gillica is the ship I will die on. 

5:50 - I promise you. Jessica’s eye roll+huff when Malcolm says he’s going to stay with Capshaw for a minutes is defensive. She’s knows that Malcolm is trying to get information that will help recapture Martin. But right now? She just wants a hug from her son. She wants to keep him in her sight; where she knows he’s safe. 

6:12 - soooooo Capshaw is definitely a psychopath and she’s 100% acting in this scene. Look at her. She’s angry but she’s trying to act calm. She’s trying to justify everything she did but it never quite connects. She’s just a little bit....something. Vacant? Insincere? Malcolm seems to believe her though...because she told him exactly what she knew he would sympathize and empathize with...the next two episodes are going to be incredible. 

7:00 - Damn. Malcolm looks so destroyed in this scene. He looks scared, sad, angry. This boy is riding an emotional elevator that only goes down. I’m just waiting for it to hit the ground. 

7:14 - This is fake. Capshaw’s “crying” here? How completely put together she seems? Fake. She’s trying to act distraught and guilt-ridden but she just seems too put together and angry to make it believable. 

7:25 - How much do you want to bet that Capshaw is either 1) after Martin because one of her family members was killed by the Surgeon, 2) some sort of already established serial killer/psychopath who thinks killing the Surgeon will make her a serial killer legend?

7:30 - Malcolm being kind is everything. <3 Ugh. This little cinnamon roll is such a sweetheart. <3 

8:12 - I’m on Malcolm’s side. Ainsley can’t think about work? Bullshit. Ainsley is somehow in on this whole thing. Istg.

8:21 - “Dad is out there and I don’t know. I’m just not okay.” ....this whole exchange between Ainsley and Malcolm felt forced? Like Ainsley is really off here. It seems out of character that Ainsley would admit that she’s not okay so calmly. She’s too passionate (generally speaking) to just be this calm right now. 

8:24 - Ainsley is way too calm for the daughter of an escaped serial killer. Malcolm looks utterly terrified. Ainsley just looks....indifferent. Sure, maybe she’s processing things different or she’s in some state of shock but I find it unlikely. 

8:41 - Awwww. Looks like Gil let a Whitly near his car. <3

8:51 - Awwwww...Malcolm literally jumping into the ambulance is adorable. <3

9:00 - “So it’s official. The Surgeon’s killing again.” THE LOOK. The look that JT, Dani, and Gil exchange everything to me. It’s concern. For Malcolm. For what they know this is doing to him. It’s fear. For what may happen next. 

9:19 - “Dude.” Some people think JT is being a dick to Malcolm here. I disagree. Sure, it’s not what Malcolm wanted (or needed) to hear. BUT the way I interpreted that ‘dude’: JT is concerned about Malcolm. JT knows that Malcolm is having a hard time right now and JT is worried that Malcolm is reverting back to ‘scared little boy who doesn’t want to believe his dad is a killer’ instead of his usual ‘profiler-mode’. I don’t think JT is upset with Malcolm. I think this is JT acting like Malcolm’s big brother. 

9:26 - “I’m not saying I believe it. But I’m sure he believes it.” Gil isn’t buying that. Look at his face. Gil knows Malcolm is struggling to separate his complex feelings about Martin ‘Dad’ Whitly and Matrin ‘the Surgeon’ Whitly.

9:33 - Again. The phrasing here may have been a little blunt but I think this is JT trying to remind Malcolm that his dad is a monster who doesn’t love him. It’s not a pleasant thing but it is a reminder that Malcolm needed to continue working the case effectively. 

9:38 - JT and Dani exchanging looks of concern when Malcolm raises his voice (and again when Gil sends them to canvas the area for missing cars) <3 WHERE IS MY INTERVENTION?!!? <3

10:01 - “You think I’ve lost it.” :( This breaks my heart. It’s not enough that Malcolm has been on a downward mental health spiral this whole season. Now, Martin escapes and Malcolm is so fragile that he can’t tell the difference between concern and disapproval. He genuinely can’t see that Gil, Dani, and JT are concerned about him. He’s interpreting their concern as distrust and disapproval. :( 

10:30 - .....where’s Gil’s car? Did he leave it with Dani and JT? 

10:45 - “He lived here with my mother before I was born.” Excuse me? What? My brain is short circuiting. I want more details. I find this information utterly fascinating. Were Jessica’s parents alive? Is it a Milton family home or did Jessica and/or Martin buy it themselves?

10:51 - “If my father was a serial killer I may have fortified my house a little better.” .....no. This felt wrong. I don’t like that Gil said this. Why would Malcolm fortify the house more? Martin was literally chained to a wall. PLUS Gil’s been to Malcolm’s place before. If Gil (the cop) was concerned about safety he would’ve said something to Malcolm about it before now. 

11:44 - I want to punch that US Marshall in the face. Don’t you dare suggest that Malcolm should’ve seen this coming or that he has anything to do with Martin’s escape. I also love this interaction. It really shows the story of Malcolm’s life: his colleagues don’t trust him because of who his father is. Malcolm’s skill is never enough for the cops/FBI/law enforcement to trust him because Martin is a serial killer. Shouldn’t it count for something that Malcolm is the one who turned Martin over to the cops AS A 10 YEAR OLD? ALSO - WTF did Malcolm have ammo for his antique weapons??!?!?

11:54 - Look at Dani and JT. They look ashamed and concerned. Almost as if they just realized that they’re the only ones in the precinct (other than Gil) who have ever given Malcolm a chance. 

12:02 - The hand tremor <3 Damn. Someone hug him. He is so close to a full mental breakdown. I can’t wait. 

12:17 - “I’m not fine.” I. Am. So. Proud. Our broken boy just told the truth about his mental state. Look at Dani. She’s shocked and she’s more concerned than ever. Malcolm admitting he’s not fine means he’s really really not fine. This is bad. Malcolm is going to lose it soon. 

12:35 - “You were in control” I understand why that would be comforting for Malcolm. HOWEVER, when it’s said like that Malcolm probably draws the parallel between himself and Martin (the manipulative control freak). :(

12:55 - Malcolm expressing his self doubt is shattering. He’s being so vulnerable with Dani right now and I don’t even care about the Brightwell ship at the moment - I’m just proud of him for opening up to someone. 

13:03 - “Usually his voice is in my head all the time” Yes. Because even though Martin was chained to a wall, he was still in control. The constant phone calls. The verbal chess games. The traumatic memories. Malcolm has never been able to escape Martin. Ever. Now 2/3 of his regular Martin exposures have disappeared and Malcolm doesn’t know how do go about daily life without the constant harassment. 

13:40 - There’s no way Jessica was actually in enough pain to ask for a painkillers. Jess overheard Malcolm and Capshaw talking and she came to ask Capshaw about it. 

14:14 - “I feel like I’m in Hell’s waiting room.” “Been there for 23 years.” Ouch. Capshaw is lying through her teeth but Jessica? Jessica is being sincere. My heart breaks for her. Also - the fact that every time we’ve seen Jessica bond with another woman (Eve, Capshaw, Birdie) that woman is a manipulative woman trying to use Jessica’s connection to Martin for her own personal gain is very upsetting. I petition for Jessica to bond with Tally and/or Dani. 

14:40 - Look at Capshaw’s face when Jessica mentions Martin’s open casket. She’s hopeful. Like she just found a potential partner in crime. Or at least she just found another reason to justify what she’s about to do to Martin. 

15:15 - I can’t anymore. It’s been driving me CRAZY that Dani’s curls are extremely different sizes in almost every other scene this episode. Sometimes the curls are reasonably tight and a little frizzy, Then in scenes like this one her curls are big, loose, and clean. Her hair is gorgeous both ways but the inconsistency is really bothering me. 

15:52 - Americans - help me out. Is this a thing? Do your bowling alleys serve alcohol? Specifically wine? My Canadian ass is curious (our bowling alleys serve pop and bottled water. And maybe fruit juice). 

15:52 - Look at how cautious Malcolm is as he approaches the boy. He’s afraid. Afraid that he’ll see evidence that the Surgeon is killing again. 

16:45 - Who did Pete steal those clothes from? It wasn’t the EMTs.....did he raid Malcolm’s closet?!?!?!

17:15 - Pete was 10 when he found a quasi-sanctuary from his abusive father. So was Malcolm (in the sense that Martin was arrested and physically removed from the home). 

17:40 - I love this about Malcolm. Pete helped Martin escape. Pete is a killer. But Malcolm is standing there talking to Pete like they’re friends. Malcolm genuinely empathizes with Pete’s childhood. It’s messed up but it’s also beautiful. Malcolm truly has a good heart. 

18:00 - And now Malcolm is scared. He’s just remembered that Pete is a serial killer and he’s in danger.

18:15 - Look, Pete’s a bad guy. But his childhood? Damn. That sucks. :( 

18:33 - “Tell me where Martin’s headed.” Not “The Surgeon”, not “Dr. Whitly”, not “my father”. “Martin”. Because Malcolm doesn’t know “Martin”. He’s met his father/dad - the man who loved him and cared for him during the first 10 years of his life. He’s met “The Surgeon” - the man who chloroformed him, manipulated him, and emotionally abused him his entire life. He’s met “Dr. Whitly” - the man who tried to teach him about the human body as a child and the man who gives him valuable medical insight on cases. But Malcolm’s never met this side of Martin Whitly and he doesn’t know what to expect. So he’s calling him “Martin”.

18:56 - Malcolm, you moron. Pete can see that you’re already suffering.

19:07 - I’ll be honest. I was kind of shocked that they killed off Pet like this. I knew Christian Brole was a guest star so obvious something would happen to write his character off the show but....this was intense. 

19:16 - “Bright I saw it too.” Thank you, Dani. Calm this boy down. He’s about 10 seconds away from being arrested for being a moron at a crime scene. 

19:30 - “It is my job to find my father.” This runs deep. Malcolm isn’t just talking about how it’s his job to profile where Martin might be. This is Malcolm admitting that he’s been subconsciously looking for his father for 23 years. He’s just a little boy who keeps visiting a serial killer in prison because he hopes that one day he’ll find the father that loved him (or at least acted like it). :( Someone hug this boy. <3

19:44 - I found how Malcolm pushes Dani off of him interesting. He’s clearly furious. He clearly is not in the mood to be touched but as soon as Dani starts manhandling him he sort of calms down? He’s not calm but he gains better control of himself. He listens to Dani when she guides him away from Ruiz, (he’s not perfect by any means) but he walks away and you can see his body language relax slightly. 

20:11 - I kind of feel bad for JT. Gil and Jessica have blatantly flirted in front of him twice now (2x5 and now). That’s got to be awkward for him. hahaha

20:14 - “Where is Ainsley?” Good question Gil. Malcolm (who is on the verge of a panic attack) is working himself ragged to find Martin. Jessica is terrified and going through old photos to see if she can find anything that might give a clue to Martin’s whereabouts. But Ainsley? Not only is she calm - she’s not reporting on the prison break. She’s not actively trying to find Martin and she’s not terrified. Why? I honestly think (hope) she’s working with Capshaw. 

20:20 - That look Gil shoots JT. Yep. Gil definitely suspects that Ainsley’s involved. I’m pretty sure Gil has pieced together what happened to Endicott and now he suspects Ainsley. 

20:30 - hahahaha the way that JT stares at Gil as Gil leaves the room. hahahaha. He’s like: “This is awkward. I don’t want to babysit your rich girlfriend (and the Mom of the most annoyingly endearing profilers in existence). I am uncomfortable and I hate that you’re leaving me here alone.”

21:05 - I LOVE THIS SCENE. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.  I love how Dani is slouching in Gil’s chair like she owns it. I love that Malcolm is sitting on the couch like a scolded child. I love that they’re talking about Gil’s birthday. 

21:32 - “I’m already drafting an apology letter.” “That’s not enough.” SAY IT LOUDER DANI. This. FINALLY we get someone calling Malcolm on his passive suicidality. Yes, Malcolm is driven and obsessed with the case (any case). But he also risks his life needlessly to solve them. As though he thinks he’s not worthy of saving. As though he believes he deserves to suffer for what he did to The Surgeon and for what The Surgeon did to his victims. Malcolm is passionate and dedicated to his job. But he doesn’t care about his life enough to protect it. That’s passive suicidality in my books.

21:43 - “For a killer who has done nothing but make your life a living hell.....he’s not worth it.” THIS. Malcolm doesn’t hear this enough. People always suspect him of being like Martin. People rarely take the time to realize that Malcolm was just a little boy who was traumatized by the things he found out about Martin. Strangers judge and treat Malcolm like a criminal just because his father is a publicly bad person. It’s been happening for so long that Malcolm believes he’s a bad person who isn’t worthy of happiness. 

21:52 - Poor Malcolm. His little face. :( He looks so sad, angry, and scared all at the same time. This is another case of “the logical part of my brain knows I’m acting irrationally but I can’t stop it because the emotions are too big and strong and everything hurts.”

22:05 - “I’m sorry.” MALCOLM WHY THE HELL ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO DANI?!? Because you yelled at Ruiz and now Dani’s worried about you? Dude. You’re having a mental health crisis and a really really bad day. You don’t need to apologize right now. Dani doesn’t want your apology. She wants you to take care of yourself. 

22:25 - “Jury’s still out.” Ouch. 

22:32 - Oh look. Another old person with a landline. hahahahha

23:11 - JT being a sweetheart to Jessica. <3 I love this man. This is so cute. I feel like this is the first time JT’s truly seen Jessica as a full human with a personality as opposed to Malcolm’s rich mother and Gil’s love interest.

23:18 - “I get a call like that once a week.” OH HELL NO. 

23:30 - I love the fact that Jessica and JT are bonding over the fact that they’re both being harassed and judged for something outside of their control. 

23:41 - SOMEONE IS CALLING TALLY?!?! NO. NO. NO. NO. I’M FURIOUS. 

24:04 - “I don’t know. Why did you pretend no one was on the phone earlier?” I love this line. Jess didn’t tell for the same reason JT didn’t. They’re independent, strong people. They don’t want bother other people with their problems. They’re embarrassed that this is happening to them and on some level they probably think (wrongfully) that they deserve it. 

24:46 - Oh look. All of Malcolm’s worst nightmares are coming true on the same day. The look of pure terror on his face. <3 

25:20 - I want more Gil + Ainsley scenes. I find them fascinating. Ainsley looks like she resents Gil (probably because he spent so much time with Malcolm instead of her in the 90s+00s). Gil looks remorseful, sad, concerned, and fatherly. Like, even though he didn’t spend a lot of time with Ainsley - he still loves her. Because he loves Jessica and Malcolm so he loves Ainsley by extension. 

25:30 - “People always suspect him” THIS. Ainsley is trying to manipulate Gil into believing she’s innocent by drawing parallels between her actions and Malcolm’s. What Ainsley doesn’t seem to realize (and why Gil is so cold when he says “People always suspect him”) is that Gil watched Malcolm grow up. He watched the cops question him in 98′ because they thought he was a suspect. He watched Malcolm grow up as people bullied him and locked him in closets because he’s the son of a murderer. Malcolm was fired from the FBI for being the Surgeon’s son (and punching a sheriff). Ainsley though? She forwarded her career by televising Malcolm’s mental health issues and proudly announcing that she’s the daughter of a killer. She still has a job. People still treat her with respect. Malcolm wasn’t granted that luxury. Gil knows it. He watched as Ainsley used Martin as a tool for success while Malcolm struggled under the weight of Martin’s crimes and abuse. 

25:34 - “Ouch”. Malcolm’s not offended. Look at the little smile he sends toward Dani. <3

25:36 - Ainsley is furious. That’s the look she had in her eyes when she confronted Malcolm about the pig’s blood incident. She has no remorse. She’s pissed that her brother is overshadowing her.

25:49 - “We didn’t plan a prison break.” Who’s the ‘we’. Her and Malcolm? Or Ainsley and Martin? Or all three? Or Capshaw and Ainsley? ....this 3/4 of those options are definitely true. But one of them might be a lie. I think Ainsley was purposely vague to make it harder to Malcolm, Gil, and Dani to tell if she’s lying. 

26:17 - Ainsley isn’t scared, stressed, or anxious when she picks up the phone. She seems annoyed but hopeful. I find that interesting. 

26:46 - That smile. Ainsley loved talking to her dad. As a girl who grew up without a father - I feel for her. BUT GIRL - he’s a killer and this is not healthy. 

27:08 - Malcolm suspects Ainsley. And he’s scared. Bring me my popcorn. I’m here for the show. 

27:18 - This must be killing Ainsley. The fact that she knows Malcolm, Gil, and Jessica are a quasi-family unit. It’s probably making her feel more left out than usual. 

27:30 - “Maybe I should’ve done more for her when she was growing up.” :( My heart is shattering. This isn’t Gil’s fault but damn, does this hurt. 

27:40 - “No matter what we did, all roads led to Martin.” More confirmation that Jessica and Gil co-parented Malcolm. <3 This is amazing. I’m so happy. 

27:53 - Really Jess? You’re turned on by the fact that Gil has a secret plan while your daughter is being questioned about helping a murderer escape prison?!?! It’s adorable (especially how Gil starts flirting back with her) but also - not the time. 

28:14 - This is why I think Ainsley is somehow involved with Capshaw and/or is a budding serial killer. She’s so cheery. She’s being questioned by the police because they suspect her of committing a crime. Even an innocent person would be a little anxious or defensive. She’s just....numb but also cheery at the same time? Something’s not right here. 

28:19 - “This room is under surveillance at all times.” ....but is it under audio surveillance? Is this interrogation going to become a bigger part of the plot later in the season? Because Ainsley verbally questions if she’s like Martin.

29:17 - As much as I hate Martin, I agree with his analysis of Ainsley. She’s high on charm, low on compassion and empathy. She doesn’t have normal reactions to traumatic events. She never appears scared or sad. We’ve only ever really seen Ainsley happy, determined, or angry. 

29:20 - ....I fully believe Ainsley is fake crying to manipulate Malcolm during the interrogation.

31:25 - “Do you think I’m the reason he broke out?” Ugh. Ainsley is so starved for parental attention and it’s heartbreaking.....maybe that’s how this killer was made.

32:00 - Gil doesn’t think Ainsley’s a credible source of information. Let’s all just sit on that information for a bit. 

32:19 - “It’s not him I’m worried about.” <3 <3 <3 <3 Papa!Gil <3 I’ve missed you. <3 <3

32:34 - YO Gil, Malcolm. Have you two knuckleheads really never watched Criminal Minds?!?! This dude is showing textbook “I’m a hostage” behaviour. 

33:19 - Gil calling Malcolm his ‘partner’ is so precious. <3

34:50 - Sooooo 400K is a LOT of money. Did Martin use Milton family money for his murder agenda?!? Did Jessica never notice that much cash missing from their accounts?!? Where did all this money come from?! 

35:32 - Ahhhh lovely. Martin had a fake Canadian passport. 

35:46 - Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep because Martin put Malcolm’s batman toy in his murder escape bag. It’s so twisted and yet, sweet? 

35:50 - “What’s that?” <3 My heart has shattered. Look at the unshed tears in Malcolm’s eyes. Listen to how soft Gil’s voice is. Look at Malcolm’s sad little heartbroken, hopeful smile and Gil’s heartbroken look of concern. <3 I adore this exchange so so so so much. This is the Papa!Gil content I’ve been hungry for. 

37:38. -”Bright, she said no.” ....and Gil doesn’t want him going in there either. It’s not safe for anyone. But especially not for Malcolm in his current mental state. 

38:25 - “Don’t ever imply Bright doesn’t want to save lives.” YES TELL HER GIL. YES. I’m living my best life. The Papa!Gil fans were FED this episode. <3

38:51 - “They’re going to kill him.” I love this because I get it. My dad was abusive. I don’t like him and I don’t respect him. I think he’s a shitty human being. But I still love him. A part of me always will. Malcolm’s relationship with Martin is a little more complicated but it boils down to the same thing - no matter what a part of you will always love your parents. You might hate that part of yourself. You might try to suppress it. But it’s always there. Whether you like it or not. The idea that Martin will be killed? That’s terrifying for Malcolm because a dead Martin Whitly means he’ll never ‘earn’ his father’s love. It means his chance of finding the father who loved him pre-age 10 is gone forever. And that’s terrifying. Malcolm will grieve what he lost but he won’t grieve Martin as a human being - just who Martin could’ve been for Malcolm. 

39:22 - Gil chasing Malcolm <3 I’m in love. 

39:55 - Again, where the hell did Hector get these clothes? He sure as hell didn’t steal that plaid shirt from Malcolm’s place or the EMTs. 

40:10 - Hector is my favourite killer. I love him and I don’t know why. 

40:50 - This sequence is haunting. Watching Gil, Jessica, and Malcolm terrified and concerned in isolating shots. <3 *Chef’s kiss*. AND THE FACT THAT JT is still with Jessica?!?! <3 Glorious. I’m here for it. 

41:35 - I don’t like the way Capshaw looked at Malcolm when she said, “He’s your father.”.....it was appraising. Almost like she’s considering killing Malcolm to snub the whole Whitly family of potential killers. 

42:17 - That line about karma......holy shit. Capshaw is evil #confirmed. Malcolm is a moron for not spotting it right this second. 

42:55 - I have so many questions. 1) how did Capshaw get Martin in the car without anyone noticing? Like, why didn’t the security cameras catch it? 2) ....how much air circulation is in a car trunk? 3) How long has Capshaw been planning this? 4) is it really Martin in the car? Or someone else? ....maybe she had a goon kidnap Martin and take him to a secondary location after he left Claremont grounds? 5) Did Capshaw ever have a romantic interest in Martin? Was it ALL show?

AHHHHH this episode was amazing and I can’t wait for Tuesday. Thanks for hanging out. <3 

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And you are not here... (Part I)

(13x01)

Hello beautiful people! We reached season 13!!! This was a very analyzed season, so, many of the things I will say won't be new. There wasn't much Destiel in the second half of the season, so, I hope we can have less volumes than season 12.

But, let's focus now in the angst, and when I speak about angst, I mean Mourning! Dean.

Priorities?

At the beginning of the episode we have Dean, down his knees by Castiel's dead body, he can't believe he just lost him, so, he is not thinking here, he can't thing in another fact more than Cas.

Sam feels he has not time for crying for his best friend, because he has to focus in saving the world: Lucifer's son had just born.

I always like to point the difference here: Why Sam can focus on the Mission right away and Dean can't? Is because the amount of the emotions and the meaning of this lost.

Don't forget they lost Mary too, but this is different.

Because Sam lost his mother, but because she didn't died, he keeps hopes in bringing her back. Because Jack is there, and he was the one opening the rift. He lost Cas, he saw him die, his best friend, but even so, he keeps going, he runs towards that cabin to find the Nephilim. Because just like Cas, even with the loses, he has to keep fighting, to try to save the world, Cas would do the same.

But for Dean Cas represents his Everything, his faith, his hopes, the love of his life. So the world just stopped there. And he can't think in anything else but the deep pain of loosing the man he loves.

Then the scene in the car is heartbreaking.

SAM: Hold on a second. Can we just talk about what happened back there?

DEAN: Sure. Which part? Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—(he pauses) Mom’s gone, and apparently, the Devil’s kid hit puberty in thirty seconds flat. Oh, and almost killed us.

This is Dean not wanting to say Cas is dead, this is Dean not being able to say Cas is dead. His worst nightmare became true.

SAM: Yeah, because you tried to shoot him.

DEAN: I tried to shoot the monster, Sam. It’s kind of what we do.

SAM: We don’t know what he is yet, Dean. And I had it under control.

DEAN: I’m sorry. Are you defending the Son of Satan?

SAM: I’m not defending anything. I’m just saying, look, with everything that’s happened, I’m obviously spun out also, but we need a plan.

DEAN: Yeah, kill him! Okay? That’s the plan. Look, right now all that matters is finding him, and ending him, before he hurts anybody else. And once we do that we’ll figure everything else out.

Again pointing at the difference between the two brothers. Sam is thinking strategically, but Dean wants to kill him, because he blames Jack of Castiel's death. Jack is a monster that deceived, used and killed Cas. So there's no doubt for Dean JACK IS A MONSTER AND HE MUST BE ELIMINATED. For Sam, Jack represents the hopes to get his mother back.

SAM: What about Cas? Is he - is he really dead?

DEAN: You know he is.

And this is terrible, Because Dean is answering this to himself. 'You know he is.' Is the fact he has to assume. But he is avoiding to do it.

"Angels are real too."

So sad when the angels find Castiel on the table. The contemptible way one of them referred to Cas breaks my heart, because is so fresh now his dead in 15x18.

1ST ANGEL: Castiel. Always knew he’d meet a bad end.

2ND ANGEL: He deserved better.

1ST ANGEL: No, he really didn’t.

This is so accurate now, is like hearing Misha wanting his big sacrifice for love as Castiel, and all the fandom repeating HE DERÑSERVED BETTER, trying to show the point, and the C*W and broniles saying NO, HE REALLY DIDN'T. But well... Just a bitter thought... For this angel, particularly, is referring to Castiel's choices, his repeatedly chosing Dean Winchester over Heaven.

When they arrive to the Burger Shop, Dean decides to stay in the car and wait for Sam.

The drunken girl, which results to be an angel, comes out from the same shop, and the camera shows us Dean's bruises in his knuckles. So, we can infer something happened...

The dialogue between the angel and Dean is very interesting, because she create a whole scenario and character:

DRUNK WOMAN: Anyway, Becky was - and I say this in the most feminist, screw the patriarchy way - a giant superbitch. She’d take things, and break things, and piss people off, and just do whatever she wanted, no matter who it hurt.

She will say after revealing who she really is, that Dean was Becky. And the way she speaks about this character is with the same contempt as the angel talking about Castiel. Because Dean is guilty of Castiel's fall and disobedience. He is the human that broke Castiel, and that's why Cas ended up dying.

Once in the police station, Dean tells all the truth to the sheriff, and when he speaks about angels... His face turns even more sad.

Gif credit @wanreina

Look how he drops his eyes and turns his face to the window. This is pure grief, pain, sadness. Because it was almost as if he was mentioning Castiel again. And it hurts too much.

We were witnesses of Dean's prayer to Chuck, mentioning he wanted Castiel back, pleading not just for him, but Mary and even Crowley. Desperate prelaying. And when he turned around, with this little hopes in being heated, and maybe finding everyone there, CAS, and then realizing they weren't, he exploded in anger, breaking the pirate on the door, and hurting his knuckles.

Still trying to make Cas to come back to him...

Goodbye Cas

When Dean was fighting against the drunken woman, now an angel, the dialogue between them is showing us again how Dean was still expecting to find a way to make Castiel come back to him.

MIRIAM: Because Bieber in there? He can do almost anything.

DEAN (hopeful): Anything?

MIRIAM: (Chuckles) Oh, sweetie. Almost anything. Castiel, he's dead.

Gif set credit @godshipsit 👇

Dean's grief all over his face while the little hope that had found it's way is slowly fading again, listening to these words. These words that Miriam says with pleasure.

This scene is showing us how Dean was only thinking about CAS, in how to bring him back, with desperation, he was longing for him so hard, even the angel perceived that emotion.

The other super sad scene was Dean preparing Cas' body for the funeral...

(the follow gifs are from @wanreina)

When he comes back to the cabin, he faces again the reality. Dean is down that sheet, dead. He stops just for a second, and swallows. Encouraging himself to keep walking towards him. Before doing that, he flicks his eyes away from the corpse.

Then he goes to his side, and sighs, and then breaths... The pain is all over him.

This is Dean realizing again Cas is gone. Look at the deep sadness in his face, while he is staring at him, maybe he is talking with him, asking Cas to come back to him. Then, he is swallowing again, hard, he looks away, because Castiel won't come back, Castiel is definitely dead, as the angel said. No one will bring him back, nobody is gonna help him to bring Cash back. The despair is huge. Yes he has to aknowledge that in his heart.

Okay I read somewhere that maybe Dean was praying here to Cas to come back again, then he sees Cas is still dead. But I really believe, Dean didn't stop praying to him, or to Chuck, because that was the only things he could do. What else? So maybe he was praying the whole time, putting his hopes in those so many times Chuck relived him, or Cas camber back to him. Trying to reach Cas somehow. But with each desperate prayer he was convincing himself Cas wouldn't come back, and this time he was dead, really dead. For ever. That's the pain in his heart. He was trying to wake him up, he was pleading for one last miracle, and not to burn his body in the pyre. So this was his last attempt to bring him back.

The last and hard scene was the funeral

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

"You say goodbye" Sammy's voice sound in the background and we see Dean's sad face. The pain and the grief. So different from Sam and Jack. And so different from another times when he had to burn his father, or friends. Nothing is gonna be norm from now. Because he lost Cas, the love of his life.

Visual Narrative: Just a little mention of Pirate Pete's Burger Shop. The place was in blue and red, (Cas and Dean), with references about the ship (Destiel), and jokes about the butt, and, according the Urban Dictionary, the Pirate Pete is a sexual joke too. So, we can maybe infer, base in how angels were mocking Dean and CAS relationship and how it ended in this episode, that place was related to it.

To Conclude:

This was just the beginning of Mourning!Dean, we will see him depressed and with no faith, no hopes. Ig gonna be alarming for Sam, and we will have one huge revelation in the episode in wich Billie will talk with Dean about his grief.

Hope you like the first meta from season 13, see you in the next ones!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

Buenos Aires, December 20th 2020, 6:03 PM

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #12 3/4:

.:Asks Referring to Previous non-Miraculous Posts:.

Anonymous said:

Hi! I saw you mention that you have Asperger’s syndrome in an earlier post. I’m just wondering, how did you find out? I’ve always thought I was neurodivergent (adhd and maybe asperger’s), but I’m not quite sure how to go about finding out, and my parents never had me screened as a kid. Feel free to ignore if this is too personal!

(the post this anon is referring to)

It’s not too personal, don’t worry!

Though, I would really say that it’s something to look up more than for someone to tell you. I know that’s not a satisfying answer but I think it’s different depending on where you live and what specialists you have near you.

Anonymous said:

Remarried Empress Anon Again, a whole post? What an honor! I burnt my food and this made me so happy.

(the post this anon is referring to)

You deserve it! Thanks a bunch!

Anonymous said:

Remarried Empress Anon Again, thank you for answering my asks and for reading Remarried Empress! I honestly didn’t expect much to come of it but the fact you read the comic and saw what I was talking and came to your own conclusions was amazing! I’m sorry if I’m bothering you by bombarding you with asks, and will try to stop doing so. Heck, this doesn’t have to be answered! Just know you are a fun creator and thank you for making my day a little better with your amazing responses!

You weren’t bothering me at all! I’m glad I brightened your day!

asexual-individual said:

I don't know how big the trend of "Magical Girls are made to suffer" is, but after watching Madoka Magica I did notice a few Magical Girl shows where the creators obviously went "Hey, this anime where the Magical Girls suffer and it's all angsty made Shaft a lot of money, let's do our own", and "subversive=money". (Even though many have pointed out that MM isn't actually subversive, since older MG shows have dealt with dark themes plenty of times.)

Yeah, it’s probably one of those inevitable things. People immediately jump on wherever the money’s going.

Madoka Magica probably got so much attention specifically because of the episode three shock value.and all the twisted imagery, plus things like Kyubey with bullet holes all over him made it seem like, “WHOA, DARK.”

Anonymous said:

Remember when I told you about the teenage-bashing in the Star Vs. Fandom? Well, rewatching the show, I'm beginning to think that most of the time, when people in a certain fandom have these opinions, more often than not, the show backs it up for whatever reason. Like, there's one scene where Eclipsa is put on trial and is asked if she's ever eaten any babies(which is just a rumor), and she says no but that she has eaten a few teenagers but, psychologically, they always deserved it.

And in another episode, Star says that teenagers are great at causing problems, which I at first laughed off as a joke, but then in another, Tom and Star were talking about how they broke up, and Star said "Of course we broke up! That's what people do! That's what teenagers do! Teenagers are dumb!" And Tom was just like "Yeah, I know, I know"; there are a lot more examples but I don't care to revisit them. I'm just saying that the teen-hating in the fandom would have to have come from somewhere.

omg I don’t remember that stuff at all; I guess it just blew right past me when I was initially watching it.

I don’t understand the trend of being like, “teenagers are dumb and that’s what they do,” and then either over-punishing or not punishing at all. Are we supposed to believe that all teenagers are just going to “be teenagers” and so we shouldn’t do anything, or that they’re all idiots who don’t understand their own feelings but we should also punish them for it?

I don’t get it.

Anonymous said:

I'm the "tomboys in anime" anon, and yes, I totally agree! It especially irks me(as a girly girl who has a lot to say) when the shortcut to making a girl tomboyish is simply by making her loud/tough/like gaming or machinery, or when a female character is told she isn't enough of a girl because she's like that, but otherwise doesn't look or even act all that "boyish". Even TV Tropes does it, as if the second a girl shows any proactivity or is tough she's a "tomboy".

It really annoys me and almost makes me want to erase the term "tomboy" altogether since it leads to an idea of "I'm not like other girls, I'm better 'cause I do boy stuff"(which I know not every tomboy thinks, but some do). The only reason I don't is because I very proudly embrace the term "girly girl" and terms are meaningless without an opposite(not that you can't like both girly and tomboyish things). So I think the key to fixing this problem is that we shouldn't label people unless they want to be labeled that way.

And I know fictional characters can't speak for themselves, so just to figure out if a female character is a tomboy, I just say that if her only "tomboyish" traits are "proactive" qualities or liking something that's for guys, just don't call them a tomboy because it looks ridiculous and acts like women are inherently passive and weak, so for a girl not to be like that is acting like a man.

I would love to see a tomboy character who likes those things but is actually shy/a wallflower. That avoids the stereotype of "aggressive, hard-hitting tomboy, weak-willed, shallow girly girl" and challenges audiences expectations that "but but but she's a tomboy so she should be loud and strong because strength is for MEN". I also hate when tomboy characters are given no curves because the writers know they're doing something wrong, tomboys can have natural curves too. It's like they think tomboys just don't want to be girls. So, yeah. So over the "tomboy in-name-only" stereotype.

"it makes me feel weird saying that when I’m all for girl power shows with an all female cast, but in this show’s logic, it’s a different ball game". Oh, phew! That's good. Because, like I said before, I'm working on my own magical girl show in which most of the female characters are(black) girls and only girls can use magic in this world, and someone I know keeps telling me that it's not fair that the guys don't get to have magic, so it's good to know that there's someone out there who doesn't think it's "sexist" that magical girls tend to only let girls have powers(unless it's for fanservice or like in Madoka Magica because ick). Because guys get to be in the forefront all too often, so why is it so bad when girls get to be in the spotlight? I know I can't change everyone's opinions but it's good to know someone gets it.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Honestly, I feel like the fact that there’s a label at all is the issue, like you suggested? It might just be a “we have to get ride of the label ‘tomboy’ and ‘girly girl’ altogether” thing, because it’s not like we do the same thing with guys?

Oh wait, we do; guys who do “girly” things are called “sissies.”

I hate this planet. :P

Point being, having to say “tomboy” inherently implies something, which might be a problem all on its own, y’know?

(the below ask is incomplete but the asker clarified after I asked them, so clarification is below:)

Anonymous said:

I just thought back to our little "tomboys in anime" argument and about how you can't really think of any tomboys. So I looked up "tomboys in anime" on Google and clicked on the first link, and literally the first character on the list was a girl with...a flower in her hair and a bikini. The reason she was a "tomboy" according to the list? Was because she is "aggressive" and "competitive". In fact, most of the examples on the list were "she's tough/a good fighter/challenges male supremacy".

(part of this ask is missing and clarified below)

girly girls, while the girly girls always have to be the weak and shy ones(not that shy=weak but you get the idea). But while I may not know most of the characters on the list, and some of them DID look pretty tomboyish, I'm very bothered by the idea that it's their strength and ambition and excellent fighting skills that are branded as masculine. And you know what? I'd actually be offended if someone called me a tomboy, especially if it was based of these reasonings. Because it sounds like they think being a tomboy is the only way to be strong and vice versa. Like I should take it as a compliment that I need to be separated from my femininity in order to be respected. Like, if you're a tomboy, cool! But it shouldn't be used for just any girl who isn't a weak-willed crybaby doormat. I actually don't know why people seem to think being a tomboy or "masculine" for a girl is some sort of badge of honor to wear with pride for rejecting your femininity and being "cooler" than other girls.

the clarification:

Anonymous said:

The missing part was talking about the various tropes having to do with contrasting masculinity/femininity, either in two different characters, with one being masculine and one being feminine(ex. Tomboy and Girly Girl, Sensitive Guy and Manly Man, Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy, Masculine-Feminine Gay Couple), or one character who has traits of both(ex. Girly Girl With a Tomboy Streak, Tomboy With a Girly Streak, Real Men Wear Pink), and how TV Tropes always talks about them as if the "girly" character(or girly side of the character) is weaker or inferior(like how for Tomboy and Girly Girl they might say that the former is tough, competitive, and can fight, while the latter is vain, a priss, and a Damsel in Distress.

Or for Tomboy With a Girly Streak, they might say that the tomboy dresses in a masculine way with their "girly" streak being that they're a doormat or dream of being a housewife. Not that it's wrong to be a housewife.).

To be fair, they don't always do this: For the pages on Magical Girl they talk about how those shows can appeal to multiple demographics, and almost all the quotes on them, they talk about how they're empowered through their femininity and are just as much legitimate threats to their opponents as other heroes. Still, they fall in this trap even then, as on the LoliRock Awesome page, they say "You gotta admit, for a Magical Girl show, LoliRock does have its awesome moments", which ignores that Magical Girl is SUPPOSED to have awesome moments, it's literally an action subgenre! Just because it's frilly and pink and girly doesn't mean it doesn't--or shouldn't--still have badass fight scenes. Just look at PreCure. Shonen should take notes from those shows. But no, whoever wrote that clearly dismissed it as just frivolous and was SURPRISED that the fight scenes were good, just because it's girly!

It’s 2021 and people are still struggling with this concept that girliness isn’t bad and it’s not embarrassing to watch such a show.because GIRLS.

It’s so tiring. I watched Dragonball Z, Inuyasha, and played Pokemon; got a few looks about it at times but people ultimately were like, “okay I guess” (I did get bullied for the Pokemon one but that was more for the “it’s for babies” kind of deal, not a “you can’t like that because you’re a girl,” thing). I can’t really relate to the world of girls who get looked down upon for being “girly” but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand that it must be awful for them.

Don’t even get me started on “Tomboy Lesbian,” I will scream about it and it won’t be happy screaming.

[iohourtime]

Kiokuya (The Memory Eraser) Review - With Spoilers

Since I read the book, sort of followed the filming progress, and read a bunch of interviews (that all sounded the same after a while), I should finish off by writing a review for the movie itself! 

Thanks to the pandemic, I was stuck at home watching Netflix for 7 months, so I’ve watched all sorts of movies & TV; sadly most are in the average to crappy category. To me, Kiokuya was probably in the average to slightly above average category. In other words, there are elements I like and there are things I feel the movie can improve on.

The review is a bit long since apparently I have a lot of thoughts about the script.😅 I pretty much summed up my thoughts in the “theme” section. If you are interested in the book / movie differences & things from the DVD visual commentary, I included those in the script & characters section. (Movie Walker included highlights from the visual commentary here.) . If you want to discuss the movie but don’t want to put spoilers on Twitter, leave me a message.

Theme:

The movie’s main theme is obviously about memory. If a memory is making your life miserable, or even stopping you from living, is it better to erase it? Or do all memories, even bad ones, shape you as a human? If someone’s memory of you is gone, are you killed in their minds? If you think someone is better off forgetting you, do you have the right to ask Kiokuya to erase their memories of you? Are the memories gone forever? If you have the power to erase someone’s memory, what are your responsibilities? And to some extent, what are the criteria to evaluate each request and what due diligence should you do before you accept this task? These were the questions the movie wanted you to ask. You know because the movie kept hitting you on the head through the dialogue! That’s probably my main complaint about the movie.

I didn’t study film so I don’t know the theories, but I think being heavy handed at telling you what you should be thinking is like listening to a textbook; it robs the audience of the chance to experience and internalize what they saw, and as a result, they are less able to connect emotionally to the film. That’s not to say people are not moved by the movie and empathize with the characters. I feel that it had more to do with the actors than the script though.

I think the cinematography was generally nice. I liked how they used the drone shots to film the beautiful Hiroshima scenery. The sunset scene was beautiful. The music did not seem intrusive. Other than that, I’m not sure I have more to say. (Fine. Yamada looked good in the plaid shirts and his hair was on point.)

Script vs Book: (Spoiler alert from here on!)

Kiokuya, the movie, was an adaptation of a “horror” novel of the same name. Although there were horror elements, mostly because Kiokuya was kind of a shadowy figure, even the novel itself was focused more on humanity. The original story was divided into 4 parts; the first 3 parts were really 3 separate short stories that explored different reasons people have for wanting their memories erased. The final part was about Kiokuya herself. The Ryoichi character simply served as a bridge between the stories. Here’s a brief description:

Kyoko - A while ago, she was attacked in a dark alley but was saved at the last minute. Even though she was unharmed, she developed a crippling phobia of the dark, so she locked herself inside her home at night and was not able to live a normal life. She and Ryoichi were kinda but not really dating, and Ryoichi, being a typical guy, figured he could fix her. Kyoko tried everything but as a last resort, she asked Kiokuya to erase her memory of the attack. Since her relation with Ryoichi was based almost entirely on overcoming the phobia, she forgot him too. Through this incident, Ryoichi remembered how Maki had her memory erased when she was 5 or 6 - she saw her mom confessing to her dad that she had an affair with her uncle. Kiokuya might have erased Maki’s memory a second time when she was 10-12. Finally, he realized he “forgot” about his year-long investigation of Kiokuya with Takahara & others. It seemed like he was doggedly pursuing Kiokuya because he felt violated more than his undying love for Kyoko. In his own words, he didn’t try to rebuild his relationship with Kyoko again after she forgot about him. There was nothing stopping him, so his feelings towards Kyoko were not that deep.

Takahara - He was a 30 year old ikemen lawyer, though like the movie, he was dying. The chapter focused on his touching friendship with his assistant. Takahara was also close with Nanami, a suicidal, 17-year-old daughter of a client who became very attached to him. When Takahara found out Nanami planned to kill herself after he died, he asked Kiokuya to erase her memory of him so that she would live on.

Misao & Kaname - They were childhood friends and Misao started crushing on Kaname. She confessed and was rejected, but after that, they were not able to be friends like before. She figured if she erased everything about Kaname, they may be able to start over and become friends again without the awkward feelings.

Maki - Ryoichi thought Maki was looking for Kiokuya to erase some unpleasant memories. Then he found out she was Kiokuya, who inherited her ability from her grandfather. In the end, Maki confessed to the burden of being Kiokuya and Ryoichi told her he would support her and that she didn’t have to do it alone. Maki decided to erase anything Kiokuya related in his memory, but their friendship remained intact. Oh, Maki was 17 in the book and also had a crush on Ryoichi. She erased his memories many times before. Like in the movie, she also would like Ryoichi to love her just once, although he never ever saw her as anyone other than his annoying little sister. 😅

The director of the movie, Hirakawa Yuichi, also wrote or co-wrote the script. While the movie stuck to the themes of the novel, the motivations were completely different. Kyoko and Misao were both rape victims, Takahara now wanted to protect his young daughter from the sadness of his death, and Maki was herself kidnapped by a psychopath when she was a kid. I guess Hirakawa needed to pump up the drama and felt the stakes were not high enough for a 2 hour movie? There is always some uneasiness with using rape and trauma to move the story along. I guess there is a difference between this and the usual example of “fridging a female character”, i.e. kill a love interest of the hero to motivate him on some journey. Ryoichi was motivated by being erased and he actually gradually realized he should not push for restoring Kyoko’s memories if it was her wish. He only found out what happened to her at the end of the movie. Considering their relationship in the movie was a lot more serious, they couldn’t really use the phobia of darkness reason. However, it would also take something really big for Kyoko to want her memory erased while not talking to Ryoichi beforehand. Anyway, I really don’t see a way out of this.

For Misao though, I didn’t think they needed to make her a victim of the same serial rapist, especially when they use the same reason as the book for erasing Kaname. I suppose they need to explain why Nanami (and later Ryoichi) was looking into them? But they could just have the doctor referred the case (who appeared to be breaking doctor-patient confidentiality?! Just me?) In fact, the whole Misao / Kaname storyline didn’t really do much other than allowing Ryoichi to find out from Kaname that Kiokuya was a young girl.

Maki’s childhood trauma was also a bit excessive. I can’t see it as anything other than to get Ryoichi out to Hiroshima to talk to Grandpa. While finding out mom was “dealing with” uncle would be traumatic for a young child, it might not be dramatic enough for a movie.

Ryoichi & Maki’s origins were also changed. They were now raised in Hiroshima and moved to Tokyo to attend university. The only reason was to place Grandpa-Kiokuya in Hiroshima after the bombing. While I liked the grandpa scene, was it necessary? They already covered the “Kiokuya after WWII” with the interview with the elderly woman. I think they could still keep Grandpa, since he was Kiokuya (and ironically suffering from Alzheimer’s) but maybe just skip the elderly woman part and use those minutes to build Ryoichi & Kyoko’s relationship! 

Upgrading Ryoichi & Kyoko’s relationship to being engaged gave him more incentive to look for Kiokuya, but all we got to see was 1 proposal scene and some snapshots, which made it harder for us to understand the loss Ryoichi experienced when Kyoko forgot him. Ultimately, I feel that more time should be given to the “before” times. They don’t even need that much. If done effectively like the movie Searching with John Cho, 5 minutes or so of clips would be enough to get us to care more. I’m not saying people won’t care, but it’s true that there are people who didn’t quite feel it. Yamada basically had to sell it with longing looks at Renbutsu, so how deeply you feel for them depends on whether you buy it or not.

Takahara’s story might have been changed because of who they cast. Also, Takahara & Nanami’s relationship in the book was kinda weird, considering Nanami actually loved him and she was 17 while he was 30. I definitely cannot agree with how Movie Takahara wanted to erase his daughter’s memory to spare her the pain of losing him. It reminded me of that Black Mirror episode where the mom put in a blocker to shield her daughter from bad things. It ended up messing up the girl & broke their relationship. Young children are resilient and the sadness would eventually change into something else, which would shape their characters. Also, just because she forgot her birth father didn’t mean she would suddenly get along with her stepfather. I won’t even get into the whole consent thing. It was a good thing Maki did not follow through.

Less good was what Movie Maki did to Ryoichi & Kyoko though. When I found out Movie Ryoichi & Kyoko were engaged instead of “pre-dating” like in the book, I was quite worried they would have Movie Maki erase Ryoichi from Kyoko’s mind for selfish reasons. I was hoping that maybe he got erased by mistake, but unfortunately, the script did go with the jealousy angle, which made Maki extremely unsympathetic.

In the visual commentary, they said they rewrote the ending because it didn’t fit. Maki erased her entire existence from Ryoichi's mind as penance for what she did. (I think initially, they were going with the book ending where Maki just erased Kiokuya from his head.) In the end, the actual cut used in the movie was more ambiguous - they “left it to the audience” to decide how much Maki erased and whether Ryoichi & Kyoko got a second chance at happiness. (The director said it ended on a hopeful note. Take it how you want.)

It’s unclear if Movie Maki erased Ryoichi’s memories more than once, but Book Maki had done it many times. Even though Book Maki seemed more responsible with her powers and didn’t slip up like Movie Maki, she did wipe part of Ryoichi’s memories without his consent. Ryoichi said that she didn’t have to do this alone and she could lean on him, so why didn’t she? Also, losing all that memory got to have some long term effect on him, right? In the movie, it was worse because Maki took the “easy” way out by erasing herself. Yes, she was punishing herself, but shouldn’t the more courageous thing to do was to own up to what she had done and work for Ryoichi’s (& Kyoko’s) forgiveness?

Speaking of Ryoichi’s forgiveness, I actually saw some viewers calling Ryoichi a cad for telling Maki that he would always protect her and be by her side to protect her. Apparently they seemed to think he was in love with Maki and forgot all about Kyoko. Well, I think in that moment, there were 3 things going on: 1) Takahara told him that it was better to forgive and that there will be justice in other ways, 2) he understood why it was devastating to Kyoko to remember what happened and 3) Maki was like his little sister. His immediate desire to comfort his friend overrode the anger and betrayal he might have felt. Had Maki not erased his memory around 2 minutes after, who knew if they would have a more substantial talk? He didn’t even have a chance to talk to Kyoko. (I suspect Maki would have tried to “spare him” by erasing his relationship with Kyoko as well. He still ended up at the cafe because he could remember physically going there a lot.)

Overall, I think the movie was a bit unfocused due to some extraneous storylines and having too much exposition, which was a disservice to some of the characters. It failed to show how their relationships build, like Ryoichi & Takahara became buddies over what seemed like a week! I wish they trimmed a couple of the minor stories and used that time to go deeper on the main lines.

Characters / Actors:

Yoshimura Ryoichi (Yamada Ryosuke)

I was watching the movie and halfway through when it hit me… Yamada’s Ryoichi was… normal? I mean obviously quite good looking in the boy-next-door kind of way, but Ryoichi was a regular, run-of-the-mill university student, who was normally an optimistic and forgiving but happened to be dealing with heartbreak at the moment. Seriously, if you’ve watched Yamada’s other works, his characters are usually kind of comedic, sort of pathetic, occasionally brilliant, psychotic, or… non-human. (Very odd roles for a Johnny’s actor.) He probably has not been this normal since the 24Hr drama. He still cried a lot, so that’s familiar.

OK, let’s get back on topic. Since Book Ryoichi functioned more as a character that connects the short stories rather than a real character, I didn’t have hopes for the movie version. Surprisingly, Movie Ryoichi came across as a real person and I did care what happened to him. While we didn’t get to see how Ryoichi & Kyoko were in happier times, he was able to convey the longing and slight awkwardness in their interaction when he tried to talk to her after. Similarly, in the scene where he learned of Takahara’s death, you could tell what was going through his mind even though he said nothing. Same with the final “confrontation” with Maki. Even though he didn’t say much, his eyes conveyed the emotions subtly: the longing, shock, confusion, etc. Overall, he was quite subtle and natural. As the articles say, he managed to “suppress his aura” and played an average guy. I hope he can play more of these subtle types of roles in future. (It is unfortunate that a lot of people have preconceived notions about Johnny’s actors, to put it politely. It’s like the reverse of the “fan blinder” that we sometimes get accused of having.)

Now there are some discussions as to whether he overacted in the crying scenes. The main “crying” scenes were probably 1) confession to grandpa in Hiroshima, 2) in the rain, and 3) reading the letter. I’ve seen people say he overacted in either 1) or 2).

When I first watched the Hiroshima scene, I did feel that his crying may have been a bit much because I was watching the movie with just Japanese subtitles, so I missed an important detail: Ryoichi told his mom he was going to Hiroshima to confront his past. When you consider that Ryoichi had been carrying the guilt for “causing” Maki’s kidnapping for 15 years, it was totally reasonable for him to prostrate himself in front of Grandpa. He would also be relieved when Grandpa told him the statute of limitation was over and he should forgive himself. As an aside, according to the director in the visual commentary, Yamada cried in the first take of the scene. Hirakawa said “Aren’t you crying too much?” Yamada said “OK, I’ll do another take without crying.” However, when the Director was cutting the movie together, he suddenly saw Ryoichi’s mental journey and ended up using the first take because it was the logical conclusion to the closure he got.

In the rain scene, he just learned about Kyoko’s attack. Knowing how much hurt she endured and how he did nothing to support and comfort her, he was still in a state of shock when he got knocked down. Then the dam burst and he cried hysterically. That seemed quite reasonable to me. I was more shocked that nobody checked on the guy who fell on the pavement and was crying. Pedestrians were cold! So I don’t really understand the objection to that scene. Maybe they thought this was something that happened a while ago and/or he didn’t love Kyoko that much, so he wouldn’t be that emotional?

I don’t think people have issues with the letter scene? Narratively, it made the most sense since he was close with Takahara, who was literally speaking to him from the grave via the letter. Oh, they talked about filming the letter scene in the visual commentary. Yamada was just reading the letter in silence and they added in Takahara’s narration in post production. Since he wanted to save the emotional outburst for the real take, he did not dare to look at the letter during the rehearsal.

One last thing, Yamada and Yoshine spoke in Hiroshima-ben when they were talking amongst each other. I have horrible listening skills and while I think he used some slang or phrasing, his accent still seemed mostly Kanto. It’s like if I call a bunch of people “wankers” with a Canadian accent; it doesn’t make me sound English. Maybe someone can tell me just how well (or not) he did.

Kawai Maki (Yoshine Kyoko)

I have only watched Yoshine in the drama Stay Tuned and I liked her there. She played this airhead character who could be super annoying if the balance was off, yet she came across as likeable. I think she portrayed Maki very well in this movie. Of course, I knew she was Kiokuya going in, so even at the beginning, you could see some of her subtle reactions to the Kiokuya discussions. I really liked her chemistry with Yamada - they felt like they could have been lifelong friends. While she played the annoying little sister part quite well, you could also see the pain she felt when she had to make difficult choices like erasing Nanami’s memory. Throughout the movie, you could sense her regret for what she did to Ryoichi. Her emotions in the final scene were also very raw. While Maki’s characterization was problematic, Yoshine was really good at playing that character and you might even be sympathetic towards her. Also, I feel that her Hiroshima-ben might be more on point? Some people didn’t buy that she was in love with Ryoichi the whole time. I thought the flashbacks made it pretty clear but I’ve also read the book, so there’s that.

In the visual commentary, they were talking about their various acting styles. Yoshine said she carried her emotions with her even after the director shouted cut. So when she was shooting the last scene, she was still crying furiously afterwards. Yamada said she was like an acting monster - she could get right into the emotions even during the table read. It was funny how different she is from Yamada and Renbutsu. They are the flip-the-switch type - when the director yells cut, it was like they woke up from a dream into a different world. She also apologized to Yamada when they were watching the scene where she confessed to selfishly erasing Kyoko’s memory of Ryoichi.😅

Takahara Tomoaki (Sasaki Kuranosuke)

I have not seen Sasaki’s other projects, so I had no idea what to expect. His Takahara came  across as pretty charming, easy going, and playful, though you could feel his love for his daughter and the hard decision he had to make. He also had a natural chemistry with the other cast and was very believable. While I disagree with what Takahara wanted, Sasaki’s acting as Takahara made sense. I don’t know what more to say. It is probably expected since he is a veteran and is generally well regarded as an actor.

Sawada Kyoko (Renbutsu Misako)

I have only seen Renbutsu in Hagaren. I liked her character there. I also liked how Yamada decided to break the ice with her back then by asking if she has any friends. (She had more friends than him. 😅) To be honest, there wasn’t much for her to do in this movie, although I think she was believable as the very confused Kyoko. She was apprehensive about Ryoichi in the “after” scenes, who was honestly coming across too strong. I don’t think Ryoichi & Kyoko really had crackling sexual chemistry based on the proposal scene, but they seemed like a cute couple. They were pretty cute together in the behind-the-scenes featurette when they took the “dating photos”. I wish those dates were included in the movie.

Conclusion:

As you can see above, I have some general issues about the script but I think the actors elevated the story. The movie could have been better if it streamlined some of the storylines. Right now, it was trying to go for a deeper message but the stories themselves were a bit too superficial to accomplish that. I suppose the problem was that the original novel was more like an anthology of short stories dealing with memory, so it was hard to create a through line for a movie.

[xolarajean]

Macgyver 4x10-4x13

Honestly, there is a lot to unpack in these episodes that I binged and honestly I’m probably forgetting A LOT of details. I really loved the last 2 episodes especially. This took me like a month to write because I have been procrastinating writing down all my thoughts lol. Enjoy and feel free to message me because I would love to talk with someone about this amazing show! 💓💓💓

Ep 10: I watched this episode the day it came out but totally forgot to write a post for it. I have mixed feelings about the dream sequence. It was cool to see Mac interact with his mom and lets the audience know how he is feeling. But, I kinda got confused with the Nikola Tesla plot throughout it and kinda felt like it dragged on. Having Lasky come back in the dream sequence broke my heart because I really liked his character and honestly I teared up watching him die in the previous episode. I’m glad in the end there was some action with Scarlett and her team attacking Desi, Riley, and Russ. 

Ep 11: I honestly forgot about the Merchant and who he was until he mentioned the soccer game lol. They got me in the first half ngl so when they revealed that Mac was acting in the cell I was super surprised lmao. The Mac + Desi shower moment was cute but kinda awkward at the same time. Anyway I really liked the dramatic and action-packed ending and the hella smart plot twist with the fake getaway.

Ep 12: I liked the talk between Mac and Aunt Gwen in the beginning. Adding to the tension was Russ not trusting Mac which I liked and thought the writers did a good job with. Though, I thought there was going to be more corruption in the federal government (the only part I really remember was that one soldier who controlled the plane). Honestly, I liked this “dark” Mac side. It felt more new and I was so excited in this part (even though it was completely crazy). Him and Scarlett got along better than I thought and she of course was a complete badass. I mean the part where she just knocks out the guy on the BMX was so cool! I was super nervous at the end because Russ was very certain on Mac being evil and sending the missile towards the safe house. That only heightened with the soldier didn’t listen to Russ. I’m so glad Matty was there to save the day by flying the 2nd missile away. Also the underground town was hella cool.

Anyway by far my favorite part was the MacRiley moments and this definitely solidify their ship them more than Mac + Desi in my mind.(but still doesn’t justify any hate towards that ship/shippers! just respect everyone!) Anyways, it just shows that Riley knows Mac so well and trusts him a lot even when he does crazy shit like that. Them holding hands when they thought they were going to die was so cute. (I think it was a reference to episode 4 with their conversation about dying alone which I LOVE). Though to be fair I kinda feel for Desi since Mac did put up a really good act especially with the taking-the-oxygen-out-of-the-room part. Then again, she was already hesitant in supporting Mac before then. I think the thing that would have made it a little better was if Boze joined Mac and Riley.

Ep 13:  I liked the flashback to Mac’s mom and Gwen during the birth of Mac. I laughed when they panned up to the billboard of the steakhouse. I was super nervous for Mac as he was talking with Leland. I got annoyed at Desi and Russ when they stopped Mac and Riley because I was frustrated how they couldn’t trust Mac. Leland blowing up the warehouse with all those agents SHOOK me. Like I understand attacking Mac, Riley, and Scarlett but I was surprised that he would kill basically the entire team. Aunt Gwen crying broke my heart and shows that she really does care for Mac along with little gestures like fixing his collar and just looking at him so lovingly. Moreover, part of me wants Scarlett to be alive somehow (which isn't possible I know) because I liked her in the short time we got to know her plus I’m a sucker for sibling relationships. After the truck scene I was sure she would help him and when his make-shift bomb was broken I knew she would be the sacrifice. The parallel between Mac’s dad and aunt sacrificing themselves for Mac hit me right in the feels (is that even a relevant saying anymore?) I was tearing up at this part. I feel so bad for Mac 😢😢😢. He had to watch 2 of his family members die for him. I am glad that he is honoring both his mom and aunt by promoting environmental legislation and it was honestly kinda hot. The conversation between Mac and Desi right before was cute but I still ship Mac + Riley whoops.

Overall: Aunt Gwen and Scarlett grew on me more than I expected. I loved the idea of Mac "turning” on the Phoenix. I am really excited for season 5!!! I can’t wait to see where the writers go from here and I can’t wait to see these characters kick more butt. :)

[xsecretblastsx]

2x02 - Never Been Marcused

Here we are on a new recap, sadly we say good bye to the hamptons on this episode, but it seems fitting considering is the start of fall after all. 

This one of those episodes were I barely remember what happens except for a few scenes here and there from my first watch, so it almost felt like watching a new episode. Anyway here we go.

As usual recap under the cut:

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

Akward morning after talk between Dan and Serena, not my prefered way for the start of an episode, but what can I do

Well they are kind of cute here, I’ll admit. Though I’m kind of glad Serena’s first instict wasn’t to get back together right there and actually acknoweldging their break up had a lot of reasons behind it.

Blair looks super cute riding that bicycle, so picture perfect. Too bad is only on paper. That Marcus guy is super boring.

Blair can be like “Revenge is so 12 hours ago” but Serena’s is all of us being like “Sure Blair, you totally love Marcus and all of this has nothing to do with Chuck ofc” 

I’m not sure if being refered as “ a perfect post Bass palate cleanser” can be taken as a compliment. And just like magic a wild Bass appears.

I’m just here to enjoy the akward moment every single boyfriend of Blair has to endure whenever they realize that Chuck Bass is going to be a relevant part of said relationship.

“For England” Marcus your nation is surely going to be proud of you for acting like a total englishman and accepting to be civil with Chuck Bass, the guy who just totally manipulated you into inserting himself in your date.

“Blair Waldorf a fling... you’re not exactly low maintenance” Serena speaking words of wisdom.

I guess abstinence (on Serena’s side mostly) was hard for Serena and Dan, otherwise I can’t understand why they’re acting as if keeping their hands to themselves is so difficutl, they never seemed that type of couple in S1.

Blair called him Charles, I guess she was pretty mad. 

That whole sequence of Dan and Serena fooling around on the Jitney is soooo extra, and so unintentionally funny.

Nate’s family drama is never ending, though imagine the tragedy it must be for any UES to lose their money. Auch.

Surprise! Nate’s fling is actually the Duchess.

This whole dialogue: “No offense but don’t you think you’re a little outmached?” “As a guy. Blair wants to be a princess (>.<) and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club” and the cherry on top “Oh you know is love when you star talking like an assasin” Oh Nate Archibald, I love you. 

Also apparently Chuck did spend tme with Bart from time to time, is kind of hard for me to imagine them playing Squash though.

Chuck keeping noble secrets from Nate. That’s love.

Hi Rufus... and Vanessa

Oh Marcus, giving so much intel to his new “best friend”.Also I kind of like the polo/vest combo Chuck’s wearing there. Weird.

“I have to present myself as crown jewel, sorrounded by other smaller slightly flawed gems, but quality stones nonetheless” this is such Blair thing to say haha.

“If you can’t find common ground wiht a dictator I don’t know who can” The added commentary is really making this episode for me. 

I’ve never related more to Blair than this moment where she express how great it is that Serena’s free from Dan.

I just love when we get to see how much Chuck actually cares about Nate, selling his shares of Victrola is no small deal.

Nate and Vanessa! I still can’t believe how much I don’t mind, and actually kind of like this ship.

I kind of would love to see Anne Archibald doing her shopping at Salvation’s Army.

I love the combination of that suit with that shirt Chuck’s wearing, the color really suits him. I don’t know why but I’m noticing his wardobre much more this time around. Figures. I do remember thinking the first time around he was going to try and seduce the duchess. Now that would have been another akward moment of “Sorry Nate”

Serena looks so pretty here, even if I’m not that fan of her outfil. 

“So she can warn me about the effects of too much botox” auch.  Chuck: 1, Blair: 0. and he’s definately enjoying it.

I so wish Rufus had gone to tour again. He deserved to live that dream to the fullest.

“A lowly Waldorf” wow. Even I was hurt by that. 

I love it when the GG voice oveer points out how ridiculous everything is. Case in point: “Chuck and Blair’s dates are mother and son, and Nate and Blair are exces, and Nate and the mother are in a book club?”

I get why Nate is mad at Chuck for not being upfront about the money, because it’s not easy addmitting that kind of problems in their wordl and even less accepting that kind of help, but Chuck’s intentions were good. Fact is he always helps Nate anyway he can.

The fact that Dan and Serena’s plotline this episode was basically just trying to resist each other, and I can’t help but think that this was the show’s way of trying to make them be more “chair like”, you know intense chemistry and sex appeal. As if.

“if the best version of the situation is I’m going to become Blair’s father in law I think is just time to move on” Now imagine that, thanks to Nate for putting that horrifying thought in my head.

And this is the start of Nate Archibald the gigolo.

“Oh my effing God” same Blair, same. Props to Nate for still acting so rightous and being all like “I don’t have anything to explain to you” 

Blair telling the Duchess how things are going to be now... You go baby Vamp!

“I’m gonna turned it in a novel” so I guess this throway line was the start of “Inside” 

Rufus beyond anything was first a Dad, the Humphrey kids got the best dad in the show, the kind of Dad any of the NJBC would have love to have as a parent, and yet they feel they were the unlucky ones.

That last scene between Chuck and Blair is such a display of chemistry a lot of ships wish they had. and the literal definition of what eye sexing each other means. 

I feel so bad for Nate and Vanessa right now... with the add visual bonus of her sadly blowing the candles for a date that wasn’t. Feeling sad for Vanessa, now that’s new for me.

So this episode while there are moments that I really liked and it did kind of move the plot forward in some points, it also fills a lot like a filler episode and like I don’t really have much to say about it. Maybe because these storylines while I don’t hate them I don’t particularly like them either, in particular this chapter of the Serena and Dan saga this episode feels such a waste of time, they’re basically stalling because they really don’t want to have the difficult conversation of why they broke up and how they can fix their issues, and so to keep avoiding they distract themselves with taming their unrestrained need for sleeping with each other... sorry but what?

I’m not saying there’s no chemistry between Dan and Serena, but their relationship in S1 except for like 1 or two scenes was very much rooted in cutesy moments, tenderness, and how Serena was better with Dan (ugh) and how he wanted for her, not only because she was super hot, they never acted like “oh it’s so hard to keep our hands from each other, and we can’t resist this atraction” that couple were Chuck and Blair, so on this episode I just can’t buy it, it seems forced, almost as if the show wanted them to be more exciting and outrageous... to keep them as the main couple of the show as they were suposed to be, after all at this point of the show while Chuck and Blair were getting more traction, they hadn’t really overtook the show as they eventually did. It also felt part of the “omfg” vibe the show was going for, that scene in the Jitney was so extra, though in my case rather than getting me into them just made me laugh. 

Nate storyline on the other hand is the one that really went places this episodes. It turns out his family is on the brink up bankrupcy because all the legal issues his dad is facing, and because his grandfather won’t help he and his mother are a very precarious situation wich leads Nate to seek help. He tries going to Chuck but on one hand he doesn’t really now how to explaint the situation, and also Chuck’s apparently really busy with scheming his way back to Blair. Except Chuck because he knows Nate is going to refuse him and he can’t help but help him either way sells his shares on Victrola and gives the money to Nate’s mom. Of course when Nate finds out he gets mad, because pride and also because he hates that Chuck lied to him about Victrola and to be fair it hasn’t been that long since they had a big fall out because Chuck wasn’t honest about stuff, so there’s that. Still, I feel I must take a moment to point out how much Nate actually means to Chuck? He loves that club, it’s a place with a lot of sentimental meaning too for a lot of reason and yet Chuck doesn’t hesitate to part with it if meants helping Nate. I know Chuck makes plenty of mistakes and awful things during the show, but these kind of moments are always kind of overlook and I just feel that’s unfair because only focusin on the worst of him, reduces him to this one dimensional villian, and in reality Chuck is one of the most complex characters on this show. These kind of moments are an example of his many layers.

So back to Nate, he ends up going to Vanessa, and I just feel this rewatch is turning me into a Nate and Vanessa shipper. Truth is I never hated this couple, but I was a bit meh to it, in part because Vanessa annoys the hell out of me for the most part, but I always thought she was less annoying with Nate. I like how she just sits and listens to Nate, and I think this is something that his best friends are not always the best at, Chuck tries but he’s more the type of friend that goes into action, he does what is need to do in order help rather than the heart to heart talk, and Nate and Serena’s friendship at this point while getting there, is kind of akward still and also there’s always some crisis going on her life that prevents her for being fully there, and Blair and Nate well.. they weren’t ever the talking type. So Vanessa helps with that, also when the show started Nate wanted in someway to detached himself from the UES and all it’s expectations and so Vannesa was that needed breeze of fresh air, and while she can be as judgy as Dan, I always felt she made more of an effort with Nate to be understanding than Dan ever was with the UES. So I like them, at least for now. Too bad Catherine happens and while Nate was really into the idea of having an affair with her this episode he realizes that’s an awful idea (the fact that she has a step son that’s older than him and is also dating Blair is admiteddly gross) but it’s a desperate time, and she offers him her help... and so we got Nate the gigolo, and that last scene in the taxi when he cancels on Vanessa made me sooo sad.

Lastly we have the Chuck and Blair part of the story, it’s always fun to see them scheming, and Chuck’s tactics these episode are rather sucessful at first and it’s mostly a display of him knowing Blair so well that he’s able to get the upper hand on all of her efforts to get on the Lord and his family good side. I should feel bad for her, in the sense that Chuck’s ruiningin her plans and it’s not fair because if he had showed up to Tuscany everything would be different. And yet I’m kind of glad he gets on her way because truthfully, this is just one of those times that Blair is trying to show herself as something she isnt’ in order to get a guy, and also climb higher in the social hierarchy, and it pains me because at the end of the day is just Blair not accepting herself, like Serena keeps pointing out through all the episode, just show the real Blair sure, she’s anything but low maintainance but there’s a lot of amazing in her that can make her shine to anyone. This plot also reminded me a bit of Blair and the prince storyline and also (because this party was trying to be very pretentious and sofisticated) that saloon thing she did with Dan in Season 5 and just remembering that gives me nightmare. So really not a fan of these particular scenes. In the end she ends up gaining the duchess via blackmail, which I like because I hate the Duchess so I’m all for Blair showing her Queen B side in full display and after this episode I missed it. It’s also the basis of that great moment at the end between her and Chuck in the Van der Bass kitchen, which is easily the most memorable thing in the whole hour and only for that I’m glad this episode exists. The chemistry and sexual tension  of this whole scene is amazing and it puts to shame all the Dan and Serena “can’t keep their hand of each ohter” scenes, this is how is done. Sorry Derena.

Random bits I noticed:

The Pierces song playing in the background at the start of the episode, “Boy in a Rock and Roll Band” always puts me in a good mood for some reason.

That pearl headband Blair’s wearing at the party were so popular here for a while, I loved it so much back then, I sort of wish I had one now.

I loved the “Summer 08″ collage the Humphrey’s had in their loft. It also had this phrase “ I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality... I still believe that we shall overcome” by Dr. Martin Luther King. Kind of relevant isn’t it?

Having and episode ending with a shot of  the NYC skyline at night, while New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down playing in the background... these are the kind of details I love. 

Ending with a Chuck pick because I really like this suit

[love-little-lotte]

My Ranking of Outlander Season 5 Episodes

Wow. This has been such a great season! It really felt fresh and well-made. It’s like we’re thrown back to earlier seasons, and I love it so much. The writing is a whole lot better; the direction is creative and new – but never to a point that it got dreary and boring; there is a significant amount of change that I really liked. Overall, a brilliant and amazing season. 

I’ve done something like this from the previous season (click here, if you’re interested), and now I guess I’m doing it again! It’s a lot harder, though, because I really liked most of the Season 5 episodes. I even wish it was longer! Twelve episodes seemed so short. I wish we could back to earlier episodes when we have more than fifteen episodes for one season.

So, to start off my Droughtlander (ugh, I cry thinking about Season 6 – it seems so far away), this is my ranking of Outlander Season 5 episodes! Before I begin, let me just say that this is my opinion, so please be polite. No need to tell me that you prefer this over that because obviously, this is my ranking. Also, just so you know, I haven’t read The Fiery Cross. I’ve only read Outlander, Dragonfly in Amber, and the first few chapter of Voyager. So, I may make mistakes about what happened in the books and such, since I only watch the TV show. 

#12: Episode 3 - Free Will

Technically not a bad episode, but this is the one that I least liked out of all. It was a bit draggy, but definitely not boring. Nothing is boring when Jamie and Claire faces danger together! 

So, in this episode, Josiah revealed that he has a twin named Keziah. They both escaped from the Beardsleys, who apparently abused the both of them. But without their right papers, the twins were not really free. So, of course, Jamie and Claire just had to save the day and take it upon themselves to go to the Beardsleys and pay for their indenture. Also, Jamie left Roger in charge while he’s gone. It’s funny to see Roger try to lead the men. It’s not his fault by all means – after all, this was not his time and he has zero knowledge how to lead these soldiers. 

At the Beardsleys, Jamie and Claire found out that Mr. Beardsley was incredibly injured and at the brink of death, while Mrs. Beardsley was pregnant and admitted that she’s slowly torturing her husband because he used to physically abuse her. Claire helped Mrs. Beardsley give birth, only to find out that the baby was dark-skinned, which meant it wasn’t Mr. Beardsley’s child. The next morning, the missus was out of the house (wow, that recovery!), leaving her newborn baby in Jamie and Claire’s care. Jamie then faced a tough decision to euthanize Mr. Beardsley, who wanted his pain to end. Something tells me that this is going to be an important thing in the future...

#11: Episode 5 - Perpetual Adoration 

Also not a bad episode, to be honest. In this episode, we get another flashback of Claire’s time in the 60s. This time, she’s seen treating a patient by the name of Graham Menzies. Sounds familiar? I’ve read that it’s a nod to Graham McTavish and Tobias Menzies – two of my favorite actors from the earlier seasons. Loved that reference to them; I also miss seeing them in this show! (But maybe Tobias as Frank because I could not, for the life of me, handle another Black Jack Randall shenanigan, even just in a flashback.) Well, this particular patient was actually Claire’s reason to finally go back to Scotland with Bree. It got a bit philosophical in the flashbacks, too! Also, Claire was able to make penicillin out of 18th century materials. Is there anything that this woman couldn’t do?

Jamie, on the other hand, was catching up with Lieutenant Knox, where the lieutenant told him that he’s going to pardon the Regulators, except Murtagh. This left Jamie no choice but to kill Knox – also because he has a list of Ardsmuir prisoners and as you all know, Jamie’s one of them. Pretty sad about Knox, though. He really trusted Jamie and he seemed like an okay guy. But he had to die! 

Bree and Roger also had some problems in this episode. Roger finally found out about what happened with Stephen Bonnet and Bree before they tried to blew up the jail cell the previous season. Roger obviously (but not understandably hmpf) got mad but eventually changed his mind when Claire reassured him that it’s going to be all right. I’m not a big fan of Roger (let’s just get that out of the way), and his reaction in this particular episode. For the sake of drama, I guess.

Also, a new pet is in town! Adso finally made his first appearance at the end of this episode. He’s such a cute wee thing.

#10: Episode 2 - Between Two Fires

One of my favorite things in Outlander is when Claire flaunts her medical knowledge to the 18th century people. I love seeing their expressions, especially when they try to mentally calculate if this woman is a genius or a witch. Sadly, in this episode, there’s one patient Claire couldn’t save because it was too late. This seemed to unravel something in her. It’s devastating to lose a patient, especially when he/she could still be saved. But, even though she’s an expert healer, some people wouldn’t listen to her because she’s not an actual physician. So, Claire decided to make up “Dr. Rawlings.”

Also, I love that Claire picked Marsali as an apprentice! I really loved her character even from Season 3, and I was hoping to get more scenes with her in Season 4. But it was only in this season that her character shined brightly. Marsali was weirded out at first, obviously, but with Claire’s guidance, she’s good to go.

All away from Fraser’s Ridge, Jamie and Lieutenant Knox are fighting off Regulators. While confronting three prisoners, Knox lost his temper and accidentally killed one. At nightfall, Jamie helped the other two to escape. I love Jamie whenever he’s trying to be a hero and all, but sometimes, it just worries too much that he’s always stepping it up. Well, he’s the King of Men, I guess.

The ending of this episode was horrifying and intense because we see Stephen Bonnet, fully alive and plotting evil. I hate him so much, but Ed Speelers is an amazing actor. 

#09: Episode 9 - Monsters and Heroes

Despite having this episode in the bottom part of the list, I just want to say that Sam Heughan was amazing in this episode. His acting was top-notch, and I find myself, once again, questioning the awards committee why they haven’t given him an award. Yes, give me more scenes of him writhing in pain!

This episode was highly intense, but it felt almost too draggy. Jamie and company were out hunting when they decided to split up. Jamie and Roger went together, and Jamie was bitten by a venomous snake. Roger tried to look for the others but to no avail. So they decided to camp for the night, in which Jamie told Roger that if he does not survive, it must be him who’s going to kill Stephen Bonnet for him.

Which absolutely no makes sense! Not the killing of Bonnet, but Jamie not surviving. He survived tons of other crap in his life, and I cannot believe he’s dying from a freaking snake. It just does not makes sense. Can you just imagine if he really died? Like a small snake ended Jamie Fraser’s life? It’s just heartbreaking.

The next day, Roger tried dragging Jamie with him while looking for the others. They were eventually found, and they brought him to Claire so she can fix him up. But not even Claire could even save him. The only thing she needs is her syringe, which was destroyed by friggin Lionel Brown (which, let me tell you, is the worst character to ever come out in this season). When Jamie found out his bite was way serious than he ever imagined, he told Claire to kill him instead of amputating his venom-filled leg, which broke Claire. Also, Caitriona Balfe’s acting during her conversation with Bree by the stairs was top-notch! 

Jamie almost gave up that night, but with some intense body touching, Claire was able to bring him back to life. It was a touching moment, for sure. Get it? Anyway, it was Young Ian who told him to get a grip of himself – it’s just a leg. His father lost a leg and Fergus lost a hand, but they’re still happy and alive.  Which I just want to applause to. 

And when all hope seemed lost, it was our little engineer Bree who saved the day! She was able to form a syringe of her own using the tooth of the snake which bit Jamie. Through this, Claire was able to save Jamie’s leg. Yay!

#08: Episode 10 - Mercy Shall Follow Me

I know I’ve said I haven’t read The Fiery Cross yet, but I have read in tons of posts that the killing of Stephen Bonnet was not part of the aforementioned book; he actually met his demise in the next book. But whatever the reasons why they sped up the process, I want to thank the producers and writers for putting it here in this season. The Bonnet storyline was kind of losing touch and was getting draggy. I’d rather have them focus on new things in the next season. 

Jamie, Roger, and Young Ian were putting their plot in motion to kill Bonnet through ambushing him when Bonnet himself failed to show up in the said ambush. That’s because he’s at the beach, following Claire and Bree as they were enjoying the ocean breeze. He eventually knocked Claire unconscious and kidnapped Bree.

Bree woke up to find herself in a dingy and shady place, but she was not kept as a prisoner – or so Bonnet tried to tell her. He told her he wanted to change and they even had this strange role play where they eat dinner and Bree told him the story of Moby Dick. We actually get to know Bonnet’s past in this episode. We learn that he’s deathly afraid of water, for one thing. 

It seemed to go all right for Bree until Bonnet told her to kiss him, and when she did, he got the sense that she was faking and lo and behold, he was right. This angered him and even started having sex with a prostitute in front of Bree, which was downright disgusting. Anyway, Ed Speelers is a terrific actor!

Jamie and Claire finally find out where Bonnet’s hiding Bree through that prostitute to whom Bonnet was having sex with. Bonnet, fed up with Bree’s ridiculous antics, decided to sell her to a man. But before anything could happen, Jamie, Claire, Roger, and Young Ian were able to save her. Bree was given the choice to end Bonnet’s life, but she decided to give him a fair trial by the government. Bonnet was sentenced to death by drowning, but before he could even die, Bree shot him through the head in a distance. Roger asked her if this was what she wanted or if was to make sure he’s really dead, but Bree was silent, which leaves us to decide what that meant. 

I’ve said this before: I wasn’t a fan of Sophie Skelton’s acting, but she definitely improved in this season! She was able to show some emotions and depth in her character. She was unable to convince me before, but she truly made an impact in this season. 

#07: Episode 4 - The Company We Keep 

Were you ready to see Jamie Fraser dancing in this episode? Because I sure as hell was not! It was such a delight to see him trotting about while he and Claire smile at each other. 

But before we got to that scene, we had to watch Roger painfully lead the men to Brownsville (which is totally an insane and ridiculous name for a village – I know this was in the 18th century, but I hope there were poop jokes about them). Not a minute they stepped foot in this place, everything’s gone to chaos. It turns out Isaiah Morton, one of the men, had some problems with one of the guys in Brownsville. Isaiah apparently “disgraced” Lionel Brown’s daughter, Alicia, by sleeping with her, and now she cannot marry this rich guy her father arranged for her. 

Jamie and Claire eventually caught up with them, and were able to free Isaiah by letting him escape and to never show his face there again. Claire finally found a new home for Mrs. Beardsley’s newborn baby in Brownsville, Jamie finally got the Brownsville men to join him in his militia to fight the Regulators, and everyone finally had a good time and partied all night long. 

One of my favorite moments in the season was in this episode wherein Jamie told Claire that she looked happy while taking care of the newborn baby. He told her that she looked great as a mother, and it saddened me that he never got to see her as one. Jamie told her if she’s sure to give the baby away because maybe it’s their last chance to raise a baby together. Claire was like, “No,” but she appreciated the thought of it. They’re too old to have a baby again, and she already liked their life together. Even so, that was such a sweet moment for the both of them!

Isaiah decided to return to whisk Alicia away, and then she revealed she’s pregnant with his child. While this all seemed great for them, Jamie and Roger were not happy with Isaiah’s return because it might stir up some trouble. But Isaiah was able to convince them that he truly loved Alicia and wouldn’t they do the same thing for their wives. And that’s how it’s done!

#06: Episode 8 - Famous Last Words

A very unique and creative episode. I think I haven’t seen an episode quite like this before, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. I like what the concept of showing the events like a silent film in comparison to what Roger’s facing. 

Richard Rankin was amazing in this episode. I think he really delivered well in showing Roger’s trauma and stress after his horrific ordeal. Roger is actually so beaten up in Outlander; it’s really devastating. Last season, he was taken by the Mohawks, and now this. And to think, he wasn’t a warrior or anything – he’s only an Oxford man. 

Three months after the Battle of Alamance, Roger was still quiet and could not utter a word. Bree was worried about him, and confided to Claire about her roommate’s boyfriend who was shell-shocked after the Vietnam War. Meanwhile, Roger kept reliving his deathly experience in silence. Usually, I’m not a big fan of Roger (as I said earlier) but I feel bad for what his character has gone through. 

Also, Young Ian finally came back in this episode! As someone who haven’t read the books, this took me by surprise. I didn’t know he’s returning, but I am so happy that he is! I really love his character. He’s not the same Young Ian as we’ve seen before, though. He was much more mature and fiercer. There are secrets he’s keeping from his family, which we’ll probably find out more in the next season. 

It was actually Young Ian who made Roger speak up again (quite just like the way how he was the one who set Jamie straight when he was bitten by the snake). Ian was asked to help Roger check out some land, and the two of them bonded. Ian told him how lucky he was to have his wife and child with him, even though he was thoroughly beaten from the battle. Roger was alive with a family, and to Ian, that seemed to be everything. Roger, in return, also saved Ian from killing himself. I’d like to see more of this duo in the future, please.

#05: Episode 6 - Better To Marry Than Burn 

As soon as the trailer for Season 5 dropped, I’ve heard the words “stable sex” more than once in forums. I didn’t know what it was about – only that involves Jamie and Claire having sex in a stable (obviously). So you could imagine my enthusiasm when I finally see a stable in this episode!

Before that, though, there is a party because Jocasta getting married to some guy who’s not Murtagh. Which is a total loss because I shipped them so hard! We also got to see some flashbacks with Jocasta losing her daughter because of her husband’s cause in the fight against the English long ago. 

While mingling with some of the guests, Claire was approached by this ridiculous-looking man called Phillip Wylie, who’s beyond annoying. He flirted with her shamelessly, and she rejected his actions but was immediately interested when she realized he might be the key to capture Stephen Bonnet. But everything got out of hand when he suddenly tried to kiss her. Thankfully, Jamie arrived on time and was able to save her from this man.

But when Claire told him that he might be the answer to the Bonnet problem, Jamie decided to make a gamble with Wylie. Unfortunately, this involved Claire giving up Frank’s ring, which made her unbelievably mad. Later on, when Claire went back to the stables, Jamie drunkenly walked in. Claire’s still angry with him about the rings, but the anger doubled when she found out he was drunk. Jamie told her that he won the bet, and that they should celebrate. There were some fights, then Claire slapped him, and then they kissed and ta-da: stable sex! 

Unfortunately, I had high hopes with what the stable sex was going to be and that was not it. I was expecting steamier scenes, but okay, I’ll take this one. It was hilarious, still. 

Oh, I almost forgot. Back at Fraser’s Ridge, Bree and Roger fight some some sort of locusts evading the place, just like the ten plagues. But they were able to stop this through some smart science and shit. I couldn’t care less about their plot in this episode; all exciting things happen in River Run at the moment! 

But the most heartbreaking thing that ever happened in this episode was Jocasta and Murtagh. The night before the wedding, Murtagh sneaked in Jocasta’s room and begged her not to marry Innes. This broke Jocasta, but still, she couldn’t just run away with Murtagh. She chose a man with a cause before, and she lost her daughter. This woman couldn’t take any heartbreaks anymore, and Murtagh left, heartbroken. And as you know, that would be their last conversation...

#04: Episode 12 - Never My Love 

I thought we can go past one season without anyone getting raped, but here we are. I know this was included in the books, but there were so many changes from book to screen in this season – why couldn’t they changed this one? It was too heartbreaking and sad. I don’t know if it’s unnecessary, but I did read one article that said they could’ve just not included that part.

Anyway, this episode was absolutely harrowing and downright terrifying. This show does not shy away from brutal scenes like this, for sure. I am devastated for Claire because she obviously does not deserve that treatment! In her own words, she survived a World War and losing a child. She will not let this one destroy her. But, of course, Claire’s only human and she’s gone through deep trauma in this episode. It’s only fair for her to feel this way. 

Lionel Brown (honestly, I hate this guy more than anyone in this season and that includes Stephen Bonnet) kidnapped Claire out of her own home with the help of some other guys, beat her senseless, and even raped her. This really “shookt” me out of my core. It didn’t ruin me like that season finale in Season 1 (which still haunts me to this day) but I am still horrified. 

Also, this episode was really creative in showing Claire’s ordeal. It had dream sequences of Claire in 1960s with Jamie and their family celebrating Thanksgiving, with the exception of Bree, Roger, and Jemmy. It included a lot of Easter eggs, such as the vase from the pilot episode and the rabbit from Jamie’s dream in the Battle of Culloden (if I’m not mistaken...?) The production design was also very intricate. The attention to details is brilliant!

Jamie and his men were finally able to save Claire, but she felt ruined. They killed every men in the group, but it seemed like Lionel survived. They took him as a prisoner and brought him to Fraser’s Ridge. Claire was still mending her scars, but she found herself in her clinic with Lionel and Marsali. Yes, she took an oath to do no harm to other people, but do you really expect her to save him from his wounds after what he’s done to her? Hell no! It was too much for her to bear and so she left, crying. It was actually Marsali who ended Lionel’s life with her own hand. Ugh, I love Marsali this season! She was beyond amazing and I love how her character has grown. 

This was surely an intense episode, and I love the additional twists of the dream sequence. Caitriona Balfe blew me away in this episode; just give her the Golden Globe and Emmy, please. The final shot of Jamie and Claire is beautiful. One of the best season finales of the show. 

#03: Episode 1 - The Fiery Cross

Season 5 really started strong with this first episode. We had a wedding, dancing, sex, singing, burning crosses, kilts, babies! I love it so much!

Finally, Bree’s getting married to Roger, and her parents are here to see it! It’s a wonderful moment for everyone. I am in love with Bree’s dress and the pearls she’s wearing (which her mother wore in her honeymoon sex with her father, let me just add). The wedding was sweet and lighthearted. 

But, of course, this is Outlander and we’re not here to have a good time – there’s always something we’re fighting off. In the very first episode, Lord John Grey confided in Jamie that Stephen Bonnet might be alive, which Bree overheard. This was her wedding night, people, give her a rest! Of course, she was visibly shaken, but she kept the information to herself. Also, Tryon was pressuring Jamie to join forces with him and fight for The Crown. 

In addition, there were a love-making montage while the L-O-V-E song was being played in the background. Out of place, for sure, but sweet nonetheless. Murtagh and Jocasta managed to sneak in the woods and have some time for themselves. Jamie and Claire were in charge with Jemmy for the night, but that didn’t stop them from getting some action themselves. And, of course, the married couple Bree and Roger finally had a proper honeymoon. 

Remember when Tryon was pressuring Jamie to gather some men to fight for The Crown? Well, Jamie faced an impossible decision because obviously he does not want to hunt down his godfather Murtagh. But he can’t also betray Tryon because he doesn’t want to lose his land. And so, he finally gave in and lit the fiery cross, calling the men to fight with him. He included Roger, and even gave him the title of “Captain.” Weird flex, but okay. 

This was entirely a good start for a good season. I even watched it twice when it first came out because I was so excited!

#02: Episode 11 - Journeycake 

One of the best Outlander episodes, and this one totally made me cry. I hate goodbyes, but Outlander does it best. This episode was also written by the original author herself, Diana Gabaldon. My expectations were high, of course, and she definitely did not disappoint! 

Now that Stephen Bonnet is gone and that they have confirmed that Jemmy can travel through the stones, there’s no reason for Bree and Roger to stay any longer. Bree has already delivered the cryptic message to her parents that they will die in the fire. So, she and Roger decided to leave, especially that there’s a Revolutionary War coming on. 

Also, Young Ian finally knows about the truth about Claire, Bree, and Roger – they are time travelers from the future. About time, actually! He deserved to know the truth long time ago. But something’s weird: Ian actually wanted to go through the stones himself, too. I have no idea why, but it’s probably going to be about his time with the Mohawks (which I’m totally looking forward to know about in the next season). 

Also, there’s a hot sex scene with Claire and Jamie in this episode, which totally makes up for that awkward, rushed stable sex from the other episode. It involved Jamie going down on Claire while she’s sitting by the window pane. It’s daring and steamy! Trust Diana Gabaldon to perfect that scene. 

Before Bree and Roger leave, they said their goodbyes to everyone first. Marsali even admitted that she sees Bree as a sister, which breaks my heart, because they totally deserve more screen time together! Lizzie also tearfully said her goodbye to her mistress Bree, and it’s quite heartbreaking because all this time, she thought she’s coming along with them as well. Poor Lizzie. 

Claire also made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as her last meal for Bree and Roger. I don’t know how she was able to make peanut butter and jelly with 18th century resources, but I do know that it was painstakingly hard so kudos to Claire for her dedication in making the perfect PB&J sandwich! Jamie’s reaction was totally hilarious, too!

When Bree and Roger finally left (but for some reason, they couldn’t go through the stones – more explanation maybe in the next season), Claire and Jamie were finally left alone in Fraser’s Ridge. While Claire and Marsali were tending on a patient, Jamie and some of his men checked out some commotion. However, this was only a ploy for Lionel Brown and his men to kidnap Claire straight from her home. It’s terrifying, and I didn’t like what happened next.

#01: Episode 7 - The Ballad of Roger Mac

The major highlight of the season! I was ready to get hurt in this episode, but damn, nothing prepared me for what was about to happen. 

The whole episode reminded me of the Prestonpans episode from Season 2. Jamie was fighting with his men in the Battle of Alamance, while Claire was tending the patients. Ah, but before that, let’s celebrate Jamie Fraser’s fiftieth birthday! I don’t know how this guy is 50, but he is. He and Claire *cough* did some celebrating of their own before shit went down in the fight.

While all the others were preparing for the fight, Bree was staying with Aunt Jocasta when she finally realized that the fight was going to take place in Alamance Creek. This made her remember an importance piece of history. The militia will win, and the Regulators will lose. Of course, she took it upon herself to warn her parents. Thankfully, Bree has inherited her mother’s memory cells. 

Roger eventually volunteered to be the one to tell Murtagh and his men that they were doomed to fail, and Jamie let him. This was going on pretty smoothly, and Roger was able to tell Murtagh what he came for. Unfortunately, he ran into someone he knew (that woman he met in the ship from Season 4) and they were caught in a harmless innocent hug by the woman’s husband. The husband was none other than William Mackenzie, played by Graham McTavish! While it’s good to see him in the series again, I am pissed because they beat up Roger. 

Meanwhile, Jamie was forced to wear a redcoat uniform, which was just downright offensive. Jamie’s entire life was dedicated to fighting off redcoats, and now he’s one of them. It truly broke my heart to see him like that. You just know he’s struggling and trying to keep his senses. 

In the battle, Jamie was fighting with some Regulator when Murtagh himself showed up and saved him. There were some smiles; however, it was cut short when Murtagh was shot by one of Jamie’s militia men. Jamie tried to save him, and even dragged Murtagh back to Claire so she could save him, but it was all too late. And I am broken. I was crying when I was watching this episode, and it just broke me. Murtagh was one of my favorite characters, and I was so happy they brought him back last season. But now... I’m just broken. When the fight was over, Jamie took off the redcoat and just smashed it down in front of Tryon. This man was just fed up!

But while this was going on, Bree was worrying about Roger, as he still haven’t showed up after going to the Regulators. So, she, Claire, and Jamie tried looking for him. They finally came upon a tree with three men hanging on a tree with sacks over their heads; they were left to die. Jamie recognized Roger to be one of them because of the white handkerchief on his pocket that he had given to him earlier. 

This was really a good episode, and hats off to Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe’s acting. They were superb. Oh, as well as Duncan Lacroix, who I really admired as Murtagh! It’s so sad to see him leave the show!

***

Well, there you have it! My ranking of Season 5 episodes. I hope you had as much fun as I did with Outlander this season. It was incredibly fun, and a huge improvement from previous season. Tell me what you think!

[jerepars]

Throwing Copper Extended Chapter Notes

1 / 5 Reinventing Your Exit

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here.

Teresa could see the stress James carried in his jaw and the dark circles under his eyes. She recognized it because she’d seen it in herself before, the restlessness and slight delirium, when she wasn’t sleeping.

The first sentence is an ode to the opening lyrics of Remo Drive’s “I’m My Own Doctor”: I’ve been self-diagnosing all of my problems, carrying all my stress in my jaw.

David Lee Autry was one of many aliases James had over the last few years but one he maintained with close attention because the so-called Autry had a credit card in his name. James hadn’t exactly had time to pack a bag when he broke out of a CIA facility to warn Teresa about impending doom. He showed up in New Orleans in a stolen car, the clothes on his back, contents of his pockets, and a bullet lodged in his chest.

David Lee Autry is the name written on James’ fake passport in 2x03 (around 20:54 in the episode); Pete from the militia group reads it.

James felt a lump in this throat. Whether it was because there was something very domestic about letting someone else do his laundry or because he worried the warning he’d come with wasn’t enough to protect Teresa every time she walked out the door, he wasn’t sure. But he swallowed his feelings down and didn’t put up an argument to her laundry suggestion. He appreciated the clothing George had lent him, but oversized tracksuits and brightly patterned button-down shirts were far from James’ aesthetic. And he absolutely refused to put on King George-branded attire, aerodynamic or not, so he’d been going commando while waiting for David Lee Autry’s online order to show up at Teresa’s PO Box.

When Teresa and James meet King George for the first time in 2x01, we get the lovely scene where he yells for someone to get Teresa a King George bikini (1:12) and later points to the speedo he’s wearing, saying “aerodynamic as shit, will make you feel alive, I trust” (1:18). And, like, who am I to not bring up aerodynamic speedos and going commando?

The doctor had come back and after patching him up, again, prescribed bed rest for the patient who seemed to be doing everything to keep aggravating his body rather than help it get better. Teresa had been furious, asking if he had a death wish after all, so he’d spent the last two days bored out of his mind in bed from inactivity, barely sleeping and reading Faulkner. Or maybe he’d barely slept because he was reading Faulkner. Either way, James knew it best to tread lightly where Teresa was concerned.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t sit in a chair at a desk though. Anything would be an improvement over laying on his back and waiting for his thoughts to float up to the ceiling.

So, listen, since they’re in Louisiana, and given their close proximity to matters of death and dying, if James is going to be reading anything at all, it just feels fitting that he’d be reading Southern literature, specifically William Faulkner. As I Lay Dying is an obvious choice, but personally I think he’d be reading The Sound and the Fury. Not that it matters.

The last sentence in the second paragraph is a reference to “Dreamspace” by Glacier Veins, and the line that goes I’m on my back so I float up to the ceiling to feel different.

Teresa had cried herself to sleep that night thinking about everything that could have gone wrong, if he hadn’t made it in time, or if he had but if it had been too late for him. It wasn’t just anyone—it was James, and he would’ve spent his last dying breath to tell her to chase safety if that was what it took.

Never did I think I’d manage to make a nod to and with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt from “You’re So Last Summer” by Taking Back Sunday. To be here, in 2020, as an adult, and finding a way to make that reference is...strange yet somehow satisfying at the same time. Also, the chapter title is in reference to a song off the Underoath album They’re Only Chasing Safety, and it looks like I found a way to work that in as well. I don’t know why my musical inspiration for this version of Jeresa seems to come from music that peaked in the early 2000s?

There was a time when James had been her mentor to the underworld, always keeping her from sinking to the bottom, even when he’d been the one who had to make the tough calls and take the brutal actions. She didn’t think he’d ever be able to rid himself of that balancing act, of showing her the ropes but strongly advising her to untether herself from the line completely, to walk away. Teresa could still hear his voice in the back of her mind, from the night after the party at the Birdman’s when he told her in a matter-of-fact fashion why he’d sent her in: your job was to learn. Since then, and especially in his absence, it seemed there’d been only tough lessons to learn and bitter pills to swallow.

I have so much appreciation for the early dynamic between James and Teresa. The car scene in 1x05 outside the warehouse is a highlight because when Teresa gets out, all indignant, she thinks she has the last word (0:15), and James comes right back at her (0:21) to tell her how it is. He’s kind of smug about it. I love it.

And I know that there’s trouble all the time. But it’s interesting that when they get away from this dynamic (especially in S4 where it doesn’t exist, because James isn’t there), it seems that’s where the real trouble comes in.

The balance that they create is delicate.

They were so far removed from the time he’d said I’ve got a plan for a future and it doesn’t include getting killed by crossfire meant for you. But he’d chosen crossfire—sought it out, really—that was what his future devolved into. And like he’d said back then, she was trouble. More and more, Teresa had begun to wonder if there was anything the James she’d first met in Dallas wasn’t right about.

I know this scene in 1x04 is often reblogged and quoted. After watching it several times, my only question is if it’s just the lighting of the scene or did they forget to apply James’ tattoos on set that day? I can’t watch it or see gifs of it now without that bothering me.

It only took Teresa a day to get the cat to venture inside and it only took George a few minutes to declare its name: Peach. God damn, we got ourselves a grumpy cat on our hands, George had exclaimed as she sunk her claws into his flesh before escaping from his embrace like a magic trick, she’s got the same personality as Giant Peach over here. She’s little Peach.

So I guess I rolled with that bts picture of Peter from Alice’s story and wrote the cat into the story. I bet this cat makes zero appearance in S5 and at no point do any of them ever have a pet but I did it anyway. The first thought when I saw it was “Peach and Giant Peach”. Would James be a cat guy? I think he would.

George suspected there was much more to the exchange than the parting words voiced out loud, noticing there was a sense of thanks in her eyes, too. The looks Teresa and James gave each other exuded the tension between them and always made it feel at least ten degrees hotter than it actually was in any room. They had their own way of communicating that only made sense to them, that no one else was privy to. There were better odds throwing copper down a wishing well than trying to decode their language of silence.

The story title comes from “Throwing Copper” by Touché Amoré. Like throwing copper in a well. You’ll never know if wishes work only time can tell.

This is not really the part that made me decide to name the story after the song, but I was still happy to find a place for it in the narration.

“Think you might need to reinvent your exit strategy, Giant Peach,” George said with a frown, nearly in disbelief with himself over what he was about to reveal to James.

“Reinvent?”

“Reinvent. Rethink. As in don’t make one. Methinks the last thing Little Principessa needs right now is more people leaving.” George spoke without his usual puns, so James didn’t have to question if he was being serious.

As mentioned earlier, the chapter title is from a song off of They’re Only Chasing Safety, “Reinventing Your Exit”. I think this might be the biggest Underoath song there ever was? Just listening to this makes me feel 14 again. This was such a gateway to other music that I ended up loving.

Teresa’s evolving thirst for vengeance, to even the score, was foreign to James. It was part of Teresa that scared James a bit. Before he left Phoenix, he’d seen tiny red flashes of her anger, questionable decisions so far removed from when she’d stood within shooting distance on a train car and said we can do a different way, where none of us has to die. Her vision had seemed clear then; she wanted to move product without the same bloodshed as Camila. When James worked for Teresa, he’d never wanted her to lose herself in the business, and never thought she should stay in the business—those were things she’d said she never wanted, too. But being at the top in the business, like she was, it changed people. It was inevitable. It pulled them down into the fire until there was nothing left but scorched earth.

I get the sense that we are never ever getting this kind of James in canon, who is not totally cool with the part of Teresa that she shuts off in order to be queen. I think we probably get another yes man. And for canon, for the sake of Teresa being the queen, I get it. That’s fine. But, in any fic, I always find myself trying to humanize characters and not just leave them as archetypes. The reason this story got so long, the reason there was no way I was going to get through it in 2500 words or less (lol, who am I kidding, I can’t write anything of that length), is because I realized this is the James I want to explore. I want to see him push back at Teresa and not just let go, not just get shut down. Because Teresa is far from perfect and she doesn’t always make the right decisions (tbh, I think she makes a lot of dumb decisions). It’s a delicate balance between the two of them that gives the best outcome.

James’ thoughts in this first chapter are the setup for the exploration of the Jeresa dynamic in the next two chapters.

James used to see a blinding light when he looked right into Teresa’s eyes, a moral compass of sorts, always willing him to choose the humanity he’d buried so deep. But now it was light mixed with dark, integrated too well to be separated. Now looking into her eyes was like staring at a flickering light, not sure if it was going to illuminate the cave or burn out.

Here is the part of “Throwing Copper” that resonated with me for this whole thing: Like staring at a flickering light, you don't know when It'll burn out, or how much time you have left to let it light up your life.

So relevant.

I don’t want to lose you. Maybe that had been a proclamation of love in her own way, and maybe that was the last honest thing Teresa had ever said to James, after she’d realized she’d been wrong to doubt him. Those words had gripped him and followed him. He’d found solace and comfort in them even after he left, because he’d wanted nothing more than to stay, but he left to protect her because of what Devon had hanging over his head.

One of the lines in Tegan and Sara’s “This is Everything” is baby, this is the last honest look I’ll ever give. But by the end of the song it turns into baby, this is the last honest love I’ll ever give.

Teresa and James so obviously love each other but they never say that out loud, right? I feel like that moment in 3x12 when she says “I don’t want to lose you” (around 23:05 of the episode) is the closest we’ve gotten thus far. There’s a silent moment before she says it, and a silent moment after, before James answers and I swear all of it is so telling. The silence. The way they look at each other. The body language. Everything. They know.

[sofisnow]

A perhaps too long review of Killing Eve 3x07

307 is a gorgeous episode. The stakes were high and Laura Neal delivered in a spectacular way. The episode has the sensations and pace that characterise the show giving all the characters the necessary amount of screentime. No scene felt unnecessary or empty.

I will start talking about Carolyn and Geraldine, because if I start talking about Villaneve now, lorde help me I will never get to these two, I am weak. Mother and daughter are two ends of a spectrum and as much as I want Geraldine to have a more interesting role, it is still interesting to see Carolyn having someone she considers a stranger live in her house and constantly needing attention, conversation. Something we never saw with Kenny, who seemed to understand his mother a little better. This time however, we were able to see Carolyn loosen up and smash everything up in frustration. I do wonder whether Geraldine is going to realise her mother shouldn’t have to change the person she is and rather try to find a different way to communicate with her. I am also glad Carolyn warned her about Konstantin and that he was indeed using her, I was dreading having to see them being physical my stomach was not going to cope with that.

This family drama brings me onto Irina. My sweet murder child. I wonder it must have been Konstantin’s ex-wife who brought her to the detention centre because at first I thought it was Konstantin and it wouldn´t make sense for him to expect getting her out of there. Seeing him being unable to deal with Irina, who’s completely unaware she has done anything wrong makes us wonder what it must have been like when Villanelle was younger and whether we will ever see any of that period, Konstantin´s parenting styles are something to talk about. Back in season 1 Irina and Villanelle were a hilarious duo, but we couldn’t have expected Irina to become someone other than the psycho-killer that she’s become. As I am still unsure what is going to be of Konstantin, I can´t really figure out whether we will see more of Irina in season 4. However, a part of me would like to see some scenes with Irina and Eve, as both of them are starting their ‘Dark!’ paths this season.

Now onto what we have all been waiting for. First of all, this episode has been hilarious, every comment, every facial expression by Jodie and Sandra has been on point. The showrunners really knew what they were doing making Camille Cottin the cretin, manipulative boss she is. Every scene with Villanelle turns your brain into mush and gives you a headache because you can’t stop looking right and left. I am starting to wonder how come the 12 haven’t killed Villanelle yet, they don’t seem to be losing their patience with the amount of jobs she has messed up. One thing we can see consistently through the episode is Villanelle’s well-known coping mechanism she now uses constantly. We rarely see the Villanelle we once knew and we can’t really blame her nobody gives her a break. Her boss telling her she’s a literal monster was blunt and Jodie’s facial expressions during that scene, the amount of pain and rage she displayed was completely heartbreaking. I loved the moment Hélena awkwardly hugged and Villanelle, fighting back the tears grabbed her arm. That moment of weakness we are really not used to seeing, immediately followed by sarcasm and flirtatious comments. Seeing Villanelle like that, especially after the end of 306 really awakens something in the people who care about her the most (that’s us, sorry Eve) and who just want to protect her. Both Hélena and Dasha pressing onto her wound, trying to bring her down and remind her she is weak and she has lost what she once had serves as a visual reminder of what has been going through her head this entire season. From the moment she learned she had a family to knowing they never loved her and that small part of her that hoped she had people who cared about her, Villanelle’s only focus has been her identity crisis. We were expecting a bit more of the cat and mouse game that had been going on for seasons, but we weren’t really expecting for the cat to be so broken that she forgot the mouse would be waiting for her to come back and that they would still be chasing the cat back.

Contrary to what we expected, the scene at the train station where a worried Villanelle sees Eve run after the train and wave back at her is the moment Villanelle remembers that Eve is still there and that Eve wants her, whoever she is. That train scene was beautiful. I cannot believe the twisted and visceral show gave us two psychos who’ve tried to kill each other waving and looking at each other longingly while one of them runs after the train the other one is in. who gave them the right to do that?

Now onto Eve. Oh, Eve. Eve is my favourite person on the planet. She is tired of working on the case on her own, knowing the people she is working with either don’t know enough, don’t understand or don’t want to risk enough. Eve has not been able to stop thinking about Villanelle since the minute she saw her, and as much as she wants revenge for what happened to Niko, she is done fooling herself into thinking she does not want her. It is not that he doesn’t care that people notice, but perhaps she doesn’t know what is happening. One of the reasons why I love her character so much is because she is so impulsive. She acts one way and immediately regrets doing that. She stabbed Villanelle and immediately said sorry. She broke the window in the bus stop and screamed after doing so. She threw the cake over the roof and instantly tried to grab it back. So perhaps she doesn’t know that she looks like a crazy person trying to find a serial killer but she is just going for it. Sandra Oh is a genius and the way she portrays Eve’s determination, her ruthlessness and bluntness is incredible. Eve doesn’t have a proper plan, but she is 100% sure Villanelle is the answer. Carolyn’s comment regarding how heroes don’t get the girl was a great foreshadow the rise of the villain we have been waiting for. Eve is not the hero some people might have thought she was in season 1 and with Villanelle being unable to kill, the possibilities of Eve taking the lead in the finale/season4 are really exciting.

I really just want to mention the way Eve pronounces Villanelle and the amount of times she has said her name this episode, and thank Laura neal for that. Another thing worth mentioning is the parallel of Eve saying she left a man to die to chase after a psychopath referring to Hugo and doing the exact same thing TWICE in one day. Three times if we count pushing the American guy out of the car as soon as she got the information she needed. I do wonder what Eve’s first full kill is going to be like, I was really hoping to see Dasha die and I wonder how she’s going to die next week, or even whether she will have a role in season 4. However, the lack of hesitation she displayed stepping on Dasha, staring at her in the eyes and smiling at the sounds of bones cracking. It was visceral and thrilling. What would have happened if she had not heard the sirens and more importantly, what will happen when there are no sirens and she gets so finish what she started?

I could probably talk about Eve’s scene with Dasha for five straight hours but this is already too long. Eve has had one hell of a week. She’s almost lost her ex-husband, who’s done with her for good. She’s travelled to Barcelona and back in a day to find Villanelle, She’s done with her co-workers telling her to stop looking for her, she’s jumped in a dumpster and travelled all across the country and back and she still hasn’t seen Villanelle. And suddenly, as she was giving up and heading back to London there she was. This is one of the softest Villaneve moments we’ve had. I am surprised they didn’t play Clairo or Shura. They weren’t scared or angry, they weren’t leaving each other. This was a surprised Villanelle saying hello to the only person she has left, saying sorry I missed you I didn’t know you were looking for me. This was a relieved Eve. Not angry or frustrated that she missed her by a few seconds, but calm and just happy to see Villanelle. She was saying sorry I missed you, I’ve missed you.

I will stop talking now, I just want to say that I really enjoyed this episode as I’m sure you did too. I can’t wait to read more theories and please tell me what you think is going to happen next episode. How soon are they going to meet after the phone call? Who is going to arrive to the ballroom first, Eve or Leanne?

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Alma Mater (S2, E3)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading. 

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:20 - There’s no way Martin is actually going to escape Claremont until AT LEAST the season finale.

0:55 - Anyone else annoyed that Ainsley isn’t in Martin’s fantasy? I mean - it’s completely in character but it still pisses me off. 

1:49 - I’m sorry - what? How will pouring Malcolm a drink help this fictional situation?

2:00 - Malcolm ruining Martin’s fantasy dream is honestly such a mood. 

2:10 - “That little kill joy.” haha 

2:21 - Malcolm has a stationary bike. Of course he does. But why does he listen to the personal trainer lady (who I assume was a recording programmed on the bike)? Malcolm doesn’t seem like he needs praise or motivation to exercise. He probably does it the way I do - mindlessly as a habit. A habit built from the knowledge that if I skip a morning workout I will feel more unsettled and anxious than usual before lunch....and don’t even get me started on how quickly my depressive thoughts escalate. 

2:24 - ....I’m still convinced/hoping that this is a false memory Martin has planted in Malcolm. I’m all for Malcolm whump and Malcolm trauma...but the thought of Gil, the team, and Jessica finding out that Malcolm committed a crime terrifies me. I don’t want him to go to jail. I don’t want Gil and the team to turn their back on him. I don’t want Jessica to blame herself (more than usual).

2:39 - I love that the “Malcolm pretty much only feeds himself liquorice and lollipops” is still canon this season.

2:42 - OMG. That is not a helpful affirmation. Like maybe for anyone? If you’re traumatized/depressed/anxious “consider the past and you shall know the future” is not comforting or inspiring. It’s the opposite.

2:48 - I’m loving how confidently Malcolm has been shutting down Martin’s manipulation. #soproud

2:52 - Anyone else super upset that Martin is the person with whom Malcolm discusses his mental health the most honestly? 

3:12 - Check out the way Mr. David looks at Martin here. Does Mr. David already know about Endicott? Or is he just like, “Bitch, spit it out so I don’t have to keep guessing your current family drama.”?

3:17 - “Let’s have another session today.” .....Does Martin really think he’s Malcolm’s new therapist? DOES MALCOLM THINK THAT? IS THAT WHY HE ISN’T SEEING GABRIELLE? HAS MARTIN MANIPULATED HIM INTO THINKING THAT HE DOESN’T NEED GABRIELLE?!?

3:22 - hahahaha OMG. Mr.David is so done with Martin’s theatrics.

3:32 - Ok so two things:

Martin’s insight on Malcolm’s mental health/coping mechanisms is disturbingly on point. Almost like he’s an attentive, caring, father (which he isn’t). 

How long was Gil outside Malcolm’s door before he knocked? Do you think he overheard Malcolm’s side of the conversation? I kind of hope he did. But only if it means I get to see Gil asking Malcolm about it.

3:50 - “Put me on speaker.” I’m torn. Part of me is so proud of Malcolm for denying Martin’s need for attention....but part of me is living for a Martin/Gil showdown where they fight over Malcolm in front of Malcolm.

3:54 - Ok. So Gil was a jerk last episode but I forgive him. Gil just showed up at Malcolm’s apartment to tell him about a case instead of calling Malcolm. Gil knew Malcolm would be upset. Gil knew that Malcolm needed to hear this in person. <3 My heart is full. <3 

4:12 - Concerned!Gil is everything. Look at how much he cares about Malcolm and what this case will inevitably bring up for Malcolm. You can almost see how badly Gil doesn’t want Malcolm on this case. 

4:13 - “What if I said I need you?” Damn. Gil knows. He knows that Malcolm desperately doesn’t want to ever disappoint Gil. Gil is Malcolm’s hero and, when Malcolm is thinking straight, he’d do anything for Gil. 

4:17 - <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Gil looks so sad when he notices Malcolm’s hand shaking. Can a heart simultaneously break and heal? 

4:23 - Oh yeah. Gil definitely wanted Brumback dead for what he did to Malcolm. He doesn’t even try giving Malcolm the “you’re being insensitive” look. 

4:42 - Wow. That school is nicer than my university. 

4:47 - Do you think Gil’s been to the school before? To visit and/or pick up Malcolm? ....I really want to believe he did. Gil looks like he’s leading Malcolm through campus. Gil looks like he’s familiar with the campus. Surely that means he visited Malcolm there. Right?

5:17 - So...was the “office under water” thing officially a prank? It’s brutal. Forget the murder, Brumback would’ve expelled kids for that prank. 

5:27 - I love how Dani looks at Gil for clarification here. She’s like, “Malcolm is upset, ranting, and making no sense. I’m not going to set him off further by asking more questions. But I need to know what the hell he’s going on about.”

5:40 - Soooo is JT texting Dani? Or is Tally? I really hope it’s Tally. I hope Dani’s texts are all reading something along the lines of “He won’t stop pacing and panicking. If he doesn’t calm down I’m going to slap him.”

5:43 - I love the look of disbelief that Gil shoots Dani when her phone goes off. haha

5:52 - hahaha Gil so heard Edrisa the first time. He was just giving her a chance to conform to professional social standards. 

6:03 - hahahaha OMG. Edrisa is a treasure.

6:56 - awww Malcolm, baby. :( This boy has so much trauma. I love it. 

7:07 - I’m assuming Malcolm’s ‘high school’ was grades 10-12 (not 8-12 which is common in the area of Canada where I grew up) so that means Tom Payne is currently being passed off as a 15-16 year old. It kinda works. But ngl - I spent most of this scene thinking “could they not hire a kid because of COVID?” 

7:12 - I’m not actually mad that Tom Payne was allowed to play high school Malcolm though. His performance in this scene is really moving. “Be someone new.” :( <3

7:45 - Sooooo Malcolm changed his name before he was legally an adult. If it’s his legal last name (we see “Bright” on pill bottles in S1 so it’s his legal name now at least) Jessica had to have signed the paperwork. Damn. I wish I was there to see that process regardless of when it became his legal last name.

7:49 - Baby Malcolm looks so comforted by Martin’s acceptance of his new name and new school. It breaks my heart. 

8:00 - Wait. There was a teacher who liked Malcolm at this school? The son a serial killer? AND the teacher recognizes Malcolm 15 years later?!? Nah. I don’t buy it. I love Malcolm but I feel like the teachers would’ve avoided developing any sort of relationship with Malcolm even if they didn’t have a problem with him. 

8:05 - Hold up. This school is so fancy. Are you telling me they don’t have outdoor security cameras? Surely those would’ve told you who the suspects for the desk thing were at least. 

8:15 - awwww poor Malcolm looks shattered here. :( 

8:31 - “Easy. Let’s keep an open mind.”  That is pure Dad!Gil energy and I’m here for it. 

8:39 - Of course. Of course Jessica is involved in the rich school. 

8:51 - I’m on Gil and Malcolm’s side here. Jessica is putting her reputation over Malcolm’s mental health. Shame on her. No no. I will not stand for this - and neither will Gil. Damn. Look at how pissed he is on Malcolm’s behalf. <3 So sweet. 

9:06 - “Pop-pop’s aquatic center”!?!? Soooo is Pop-pop Jessica’s grandfather or Malcolm’s? Either way give me more information about the extended family. Are they dead? Did they disown them after the Surgeon business? I WANT ANSWERS FEDAK. 

9:15 - I swear. Malcolm is the best son/brother ever. The sacrifices he makes for his Mom/sister are unreal. Also - how much do you want to bet that Malcolm was thinking about the Endicott murder coming out when Jessica said, “how soon until they connect that back to me?”. Malcolm looks so sad here. 

9:23 - Nah. I don’t like Delaney. Even on the first watch I was put off by him. Something about him just creeps me out. He’s showing a weird amount of affection for Malcolm 15 years after Malcolm finished school. IDK maybe I was just upset that someone was trying to mimic Gil’s relationship with Malcolm? 

9:27 - oooooooohhhhh Mom and Dad are fighting. hahaha Malcolm looks so uncomfortable. Gil looks livid. Is Gil pissed because Jessica dumped him or because she totally just neglected Malcolm’s well-being for her own? Probably both. Either way, it’s endlessly entertaining. 

9:53 - I’m on Gil’s side here. She dumped him (like a f**ing moron) because she “doesn’t want to hurt him” and because she’s “broken” and “cursed”. Yet - she manipulates her way into cases. Making her business Gil’s. Gil should be pissed - she broke his heart. Again. Like he’s literally been choosing to hang out with Malcolm, Jessica’s (let’s face it) broken son, for more than 20 years. Jessica’s crazy if she thinks that she’s going to get Gil killed or hurt just because she’s a Whitly. Malcolm’s technically a Whitly - Gil hasn’t died yet. 

10:15 - “Not usually.” Dang. That was icy.

10:50 - Yo this is one messed up bible study. Take it from someone who has attended many young adult/teenage bible studies. This is crazy. Usually it’s: read the bible for 5-10 minutes as a group, discuss how you interpreted it for 15-20 mins, pray as a group for 5 mins, then like an hour of tea/coffee, cookies, board games, and general chatting about normal stuff like romance, school, and personal drama. 

11:44 - “Poor Tally.” hahaha I’m willing to bet that Tally is texting Dani - not JT. I just can’t imagine a panicking, first-time father, texting his little sister with accurate medical details about his wife’s pre-labour experience. He’s probably way too panicked to remember the medical jargon that is “foley ballon”.

12:00 - I’ve watched this scene about 30 times. I’m in love with it. Tom Payne’s performance is haunting and I’m a sucker for emotional whump. I love how Dani is concerned about Malcolm but respectful enough to pry until he shuts down. I love Malcolm’s little speech about the hand tremor (even though it doesn’t make sense because baby Malcolm’s hand was shaking when Shannon interrogated him - but that’s a whole different can of worms I’m not going to rant about).

 12:39 - Does anyone else think it’s weird that there’s a bolt on the closet door? Why isn’t there a lock in the door handle like every other interior school door? I mean, I guess it’s because they can be unlocked from the inside and Nicky would’ve needed a key....but still. The things I forgive for the sake of plot. 

13:25 - Damn. Brumback was a real jerk. “I know what you really are.” Do you know how painful that would be for Malcolm to hear? Regardless of what he almost did to Nicky? Everywhere Malcolm goes people accuse him of being just like his father. Is it surprising that in a moment of weakness, with teenage hormones, Malcolm snapped and said, “Eff it. They think I’m a murderer anyways.”

13:26 - OMG. How bad were the kids at this school?!?! Brumback expelled so many kids. Holy hell. Also - Brumback is wearing a wedding ring. Did he get divorced before he died? Did his wife pass away before him? Why was his family not part of this investigation at all?

13:31 - Brumback writing “Malcolm Whitly” instead of Malcolm Bright is....ouch. I just. My heart breaks for Malcolm.

13:37 - OMG. Traumatized people going through PTSD flashbacks should not be unattended next to a pool of water. Honestly - I thought our boy was going to drown. Which the whumper in me would’ve loved but also I don’t think it was right for the plot on this one. 

14:38 - Martin is such a liar. He definitely thinks he’s God’s gift to the Earth. 

15:02 - Martin knows a lot about the security zones. Something tells me this isn’t the first time he’s contemplated escaping. 

15:04 - Oh shit. Daryl has an imaginary cell mate. I know that’s a serious mental illness and I shouldn’t laugh but OMG. The moment Martin realizes that Daryl is delusional is priceless. hahahaha

15:25 - How much to do want to bet Mr. David has a red key card? Martin’s grin confirms it. 

15:40 - Wow. The classrooms in this high school are really big. I would’ve thought this fancy private school would have smaller class sizes.

15:49 - YES. OMG. Malcolm walking into that classroom soaking wet is golden. *chef’s kiss* Look at Gil’s face - it’s a mixture of concern and disbelief. He’s soooo worried about Malcolm right now. <3 

16:07 - It’s a good thing Malcolm’s rich because that phone is never going to be useful again. 

16:20 - ahhahahaha OMG. WTF. Gil’s little twinkle-finger wave is hilarious. 

16:38 - This whole scene Gil is just staring at Malcolm with so much concern. It warms my cold, dead heart. <3

16:46 - Do you think Malcolm looked for his name in the book? Is it the same book? Do you think Brumback expelled enough kids that this is a new black book?

17:08 - Ok. So I immediately don’t like Louisa. That level of confidence and self-absorption is very unattractive. 

17:25 - Louisa volunteers in the library. That’s how she got access to the poison. 

17:35 - “Dude. You’re dripping.” “Yeah. Water does that.” Can Malcolm be this sassy every episode?!? I’m living for it. 

17:57 - “Boys right? Oof” haha I love Malcolm talking to teenagers. I want it in every episode. ALSO - the jock’s story about the two girls - I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how that an expulsion level offence unless the kid is leaving something out of the story. 

18:31 - Of course they talked about this before they came there. DELANEY WARNED THEM. But mostly to keep his little cheating ring hush hush. 

18:55 - And just like that we’ve been blessed with Malcolm in casual clothes. Wish I could’ve seen Gil question Malcolm’s swim though. 

19:26 - OMG. Edrisa is such a cute little nerd. <3 Protect her at all costs. 

20:00 - Gil and Jessica arguing is amazing. I’m loving it and hating it. Because I want them to live happily ever after in a fairytale world but I do enjoy the drama. 

20:06 - hahaha look at how Jessica just pushes Gil to the side and plows on to Malcolm. This woman is fierce.

20:11 - Yes. Yes Malcolm. Tell Mom she has unrealistic and insensitive expectations of you.

 20:18 - What kind of school is this?!? The board of trustee members are buddy buddy with the students?!? 

20:22 - “They’re all from impeccable families.” “So was I” Mic drop. Watch Malcolm drop the truth bombs. This is maybe the best line in this episode. 

20:30 - “And just like you - none of them is capable of murder.” .....well this sentence is going to come back and bite Jessica in the butt later this season. 

20:44 - The fact that these kids think Edrisa is a freshman is actually hilarious to me. 

20:50 - OMG. “Welcome to boarding school. Bitch.” I was ready for Louisa to die right here. She just punched Edrisa and then called her a bitch. No no no. Edrisa is a quirky treasure and we must protect her. 

21:00 - Damn. I wish we got to see the team’s reaction when they found out one of their teenage suspects assaulted their favourite M.E.

21:10 - Why is it soooo attractive when Malcolm wears casual shirts under a suit jacket? 

21:53 - “My vote is for Louisa. The girl’s got a heavy fist.” hahaha I love Edrisa. SO SO much. 

22:05 - Soooo is Jessica some sort of consultant now? They used her to interview cult extractors and now rich, teenage murder suspect. Is she the “rich person investigator” now?

22:11 - Does Louisa know that Malcolm is Jessica’s son?

23:04 - Louisa is a bad liar. 

24:15 - Delaney should be ashamed. He told Nicky who Malcolm’s dad was. He is the reason that Malcolm got locked in a closet for 3 days. He is the reason Malcolm is claustrophobic. This man should have his teaching license seized and be charged with child abuse. What he did was absolutely despicable. 

24:35 - “My mom’s sending a car.” It’s nice that Malcolm doesn’t always refer to Jessica as “mother”

25:00 - This is heartbreaking. I hope Nicky got expelled. If he didn’t - Malcolm experience a bigger injustice than we were lead to believe. Look at Nicky walking away from Malcolm. That kid has no remorse. I don’t blame Malcolm for seeking revenge. Malcolm keeps getting burned by people. Something had to give eventually.

25:30 - The biggest crime this episode committed is that we only saw Malcolm getting comfort from DELANEY. Honestly. Where was my papa Gil moment?!? Or a Dani+Malcolm moment?!?

25:51 - I doubt Delaney tried to stand up for Malcolm. He probably encouraged the expulsion. 

26:05 - “Please.” Yikes. This has been torturing Malcolm for years. Who sold him out? Who ruined his last chance at a happy childhood? Who allowed him to be traumatized further? Who gave him the hand tremor (assuming we’re ignoring the S1 canon). 

26:38 - What. A. Getaway. This school is full of crazy rich kids.

26:55 - “This time”?!? Doesn’t Martin always root for the killer?

27:05 - I love everything about this interaction between Martin and Malcolm. I love how upset Malcolm is. I love how Malcolm calls out Martin for being a bad dad. I love that Martin just sits there and takes it. Martin even looks a little sad. It makes me wonder - did Martin know about Delaney’s cheating ring? Did Martin manipulate Delaney into thinking Malcolm was a threat and convince him to get Malcolm expelled? I can see Martin doing it. If for no other reason than to tarnish the “Milton legacy” at Remington. 

28:04 - UGH. I want to see how Malcolm got out of that closet SO BAD. Who found him? How close to death was he? PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS GIL. Why didn’t Jessica investigate when Malcolm didn’t show up at the Hamptons as planned? 

28:13 - “How you wish that were true.” Ouch. Martin is a real asshole. He knows just how to destabilize Malcolm’s confidence. 

28:56 - Even now, Martin is trying to manipulate Malcolm. Their relationship is so dysfunctional, beautiful, heartbreaking, and complex. I could watch them interact forever. 

29:31 - Look at that little head shake from Mr. David. Martin’s cell is not soundproof. Mr. David heard everything. Mr. David always hears everything. Mr. David knows about Endicott. Istg. 

30:12 - Delaney is a scumbag. He might not be a serial killer but he’s another male, adult asshole who gained Malcolm’s trust and then stabbed him in the back. 

30:37 - OK. So I know, I’ve been hypothesizing that Mr. David is an ally to Martin’s crazy schemes, or that he worked for Endicott, or that Martin is going to try to kill Mr. David. BUT YO. IF MR. DAVID DIES I WILL THROW HANDS. HE’S SUCH A GREAT CHARACTER. 

31:40 - This is a weirdly fancy room for video games. Also I miss JT. He should be here. I wish he was here. He would’ve been so good in this episode. Can you imagine his facial expressions and comments when he finds out little tidbits about Malcolm’s teenage past?! It would’ve been comedic GOLD. Couldn’t Tally give birth during a less interesting episode?!?! 

32:15 - I’m convinced that Malcolm isn’t actually upset that Delaney’s crime is running the cheating ring. I think Malcolm’s upset because he just realized the only positive male role model (aside from Gil) that he had as a teenager was a manipulative liar who betrayed him. Malcolm just realized that this dude never cared about him and he’s crushed.

32:27 - Wait. Does Delaney make the kids pay him for the answers? Because that actually makes sense. 

33:08 - This whole scene where Molly runs out of the back room and Dani says, “who are you running from?” is really cringey to me. 

33:19 - Oh great. Now the guy who betrayed Malcolm is touching the back of Malcolm’s neck. JUST LIKE GIL DOES. Well....something tells me that’s going to taint how comforting Malcolm find’s that gesture coming from Gil for a while. Malcolm just isn’t allowed to be happy. Even for a moment. It’s a shame. I also love it. 

33:40 - Awww...poor Malcolm is claustrophobic and he gets locked in the vault with a dying man. Look how desperate he is to get out of there - to save Delaney and to save himself more mental distress. 

33:53 - Look at Malcolm panicking here. He tries to hide his panic as concern for Delaney but he’s clearly freaking out about being trapped in a smallish space. 

34:25 - Yep. Malcolm didn’t think he could trust Daryl because Daryl is delusional. SO Martin threatens to murder Daryl and then metaphorically stabs the dude in the back. This is perfectly in character. 

35:25 - Damn. Louisa is seriously mentally ill. She has zero empathy. 

35:57 - Malcolm projecting his mental issues on the killer du jour is always simultaneously cringey and amazing to me. 

36:26 - I’m not going to lie. Daryl screaming “He’s a Judas” as he was dragged away was hilarious. 

37:04 - Holy shit. This took a turn. I’ll be honest - I don’t blame Malcolm for almost killing Nicky. But it does scare me. 

38:35 - That story must have been haunting Malcolm for 15 years. I bet you he’s never told anyone not even Gabrielle. He’s had nightmares about it. Because he knows he’s capable of murder. Just like Martin. That terrifies Malcolm more than anything in the world. 

39:12 - sooooo Delaney just heard that whole confession. Delaney lives. Something tells me this is going to be a problem for Malcolm when Endicott’s murder is investigated later in the season.

39:35 - “Are you insane?” “Maybe.” That’s it. That’s the show. 

40:00 - Two questions: 1) Where is Dani? 2) Why does Gil not know where Malcolm is right now?

40:22 - Look Fedak screwed us over. We didn’t get to see Gil find Malcolm half-dead on the floor of that library vault. BUT this scene almost makes up for it. 

40:24 - Malcolm wrapped in a blanket is so so cute. I just want to hug him. I want Gil to hug him. Ugh. <3 

40:28 - I love that you can tell that Malcolm and Gil have had this sort of discussion about Malcolm’s sense of self-preservation numerous times in the past. Gil looks sooooo pissed. And concerned. 

40:35 - Malcolm’s imitation of Gil makes me so so so so happy. I just. Ugh. It’s adorable. Look at how exasperated it makes Gil. Look at Dani’s reaction to it. This might be the greatest “found family”. scenes this show has given us to date. 

40:55 - “All in a day’s work.” Oh yeah. Gil is super concerned about Malcolm’s mental state. Gil is Worried. I want to see more of it. 

40:57 - I love that Dani just can’t wait anymore. She’s so precious. Look at how excited she is about JT’s baby. <3 I’m in love. She’s so soft here - it’s beautiful and rare for this show to let the audience see this side of Dani. 

41:00 - GIL’S REACTION. <3 OMG. I LOVE HIM. HE LOOKS SO HAPPY. I HOPE JT AND TALLY DUB HIM THE BABY’S UNOFFICIAL GRANDFATHER. 

41:02 - MALCOLM’S FACE. <3 <3 <3 IS THIS THE FIRST TIME HE’S EVER SEEN A BABY? HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH THIS CHILD ALREADY. LOOK AT HOW MUCH MALCOLM ALREADY LOVES JT’S KID. <3 <3 IT’S SO SOFT. I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO MUCH. 

41:22 - I can’t decide about this scene. On one hand - I think it’s really mature of Malcolm to apologize to Martin. It’s a courtesy that Martin doesn’t deserve. ON THE OTHER HAND - I wonder if Malcolm is only apologizing to throw Martin off balance. I wonder if this is Malcolm’s attempt to manipulate Martin for once. Either way - I love it. 

42:25 - Martin always gets the last word. He always worms his way into Malcolm’s brain and screws with Malcolm’s sense of self. I hate it. But I also find it so captivating. 

43:05 - Sooooo is Martin committing the murder next episode? Or is he just manipulating someone else to commit a murder? Either way - I’m excited. 

If you read this far - I’m flattered. I also think you’re a little crazy. But thanks for hanging out. 

[tomeandflickcorner]

Umbrella Academy Recap 2x04

1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10

2x01 2x02 2x03

Well, last episode was pretty emotionally draining.  Not only did we get Allison’s husband, Ray, learning about her powers and reacting badly (though not unrealistically), but Lila, the young woman Diego might be falling for, is also seemingly in league with The Handler.  Oh, and Luther is still a pain in the tailbone, being all mopey over Allison marrying someone else.  So what’s going to happen next?

The episode actually addresses one of our first questions at the very start of the episode, showing us exactly how Lila got involved with The Handler in the first place.  It seems that the story Lila told Diego, about her parents being killed in a home invasion, was partially true.  Turns out, they were actually killed by The Commission, possibly because they could have potentially altered some major historical event in some way and therefore had to be eliminated.  And I won’t lie, seeing the scene of them tied up on the floor while begging for their lives was rather disturbing to watch.  After the temporal assassin murders the young couple, with The Handler watching, they begin to leave.  But before leaving, The Handler notices a child’s toy lying nearby.  Which tips her off that there was a kid in the house.  Almost immediately after this discovery, The Handler hears a noise coming from a nearby vent, which leads to her locating a young Lila hiding in a secret compartment in the wall.  The Handler promptly takes Young Lila under her wing and raises her as a daughter.  Though it’s definitely not much of a loving relationship, as The Handler’s parenting style is on par with Reginald Hargeeves’.   And this is driven home when we see The Handler forcing Lila to go through some sort of obstacle course while shooting at her with a Tommy gun, drills her in learning Mandarin and even sent her on a mission to kill a man.  Of course, this does mean that Lila has more in common with Diego than either of them might realize.  They both were raised by a less-than-loving adoptive parent who treated them more like a weapon than an actual child.

Flash forward to the present.  Or at least what is the present in the show’s timeline, considering we’re still in 1963.  The Handler has instructed Lila to protect Number 5.  Lila is surprised by this, considering how much trouble Number 5 had caused for The Commission last season. Not to mention it was partially because of him that The Handler got demoted.  Still, The Handler feels that Number 5 is worth more to her alive.  As their conversation continues, Lila voices her annoyance over the three white-haired temporal assassins that shot at her and Diego as they tried to escape the mental hospital.  She is not pleased when she learns that The Handler was the one who sent them, considering they might have killed her, even though she’s working for The Commission as well.  But The Handler waves away her anger, stating that it’s all part of the act, and it’s important to not let on that Lila is with them.  And she also insists that if the white-haired trio really wanted to kill her, then she’d already be dead.  As The Handler leaves the room, she once again instructs Lila to protect Number 5, no matter what.

Elsewhere, Luther is waking up after throwing his fight and getting his butt handed to him.  To his surprise, Vanya is sitting by his bedside, offering him a pillow or some aspirin to ease his headache.  Right away, Luther realizes that Number 5 had managed to locate her.  Vanya confirms this by stating the brother in question is waiting outside in the car.  She then goes on to explain that Number 5 had filled in some of the gaps in her missing memories, but had been vague in regards to the apocalypse.  So Vanya suspects that she might have had something to do with it and she asks Luther about the matter.  Luther admits that Vanya caused it, stating she got angry, lost control and blew up the moon.  Although, to Luther’s credit, he also states that it wasn’t completely her fault.  Before they could get much further in their discussion, Mr. Ruby barges in.  He is furious that Luther threw the fight, especially since he now owes a lot of money (because people were gambling on the outcome of the fight).  Luther tries to apologize, but Mr. Ruby states that their partnership is done and walks out.  Luther, visibly crestfallen, tells Vanya to leave.  He then punches a hole through the wall, allowing him to see Number 5 looking up at him from the street below.

Vanya, taking this as her cue to leave, exits the building.  As she passes by Number 5, she announces she’s going back to the farmhouse.  Number 5 insists that’s not acceptable, as they have to stick together.  At this, Vanya begins laying into Number 5 for not telling her that she was the one who caused the April 1st 2019 apocalypse and asking him if he was ever going to tell her the truth.  Number 5 admits he wasn’t planning on mentioning it, since Vanya had a tendency to blow things up when she got mad.  After a bit of back-and-forth, Vanya announces that she can’t help him, stating that whoever she was before, it’s a new timeline.  And therefore, she can start anew.  Number 5 tries to tell her it doesn’t work that way, but Vanya drives off, leaving him alone, with Luther glaring down at him from the hole in the wall.

Over at the Chestnut household, Allison is going nuts since Ray hadn’t come home after the riot.  She starts to berate herself for rumoring that cop who had been beating him, stating that she’d promised herself that she’d never use her powers again.  Klaus attempts to reassure her, pointing out that she’d saved Ray’s life, as the cop would have killed him if she hadn’t stepped in.  He proceeds to tell her his own version of The Scorpion and The Frog fable to further cheer her up, but this goes as well as a porcupine in a balloon factory and she quickly runs off to try and find Ray.

Allison eventually heads over to Odessa's hairdressers.  She is shocked to find Ray is there, and is holding a meeting without her.  Allison voices her anger that he didn’t even bother calling her to let her know he was alright, as she had been up all night trying to call numerous hospitals and fearing he was dead.  Ray proceeds to lead Allison outside to talk.  It soon becomes clear that Ray is suspecting that Allison was a plant for the police and had been simply infiltrating their group to spy on them.  Allison insists that wasn’t the case, and that she can explain.  But when Ray tells her to do so, the words fail Allison.  Which is understandable, because how does one go about explaining everything about having supernatural powers and traveling in time?  So Ray, taking her silence as confirmation of his suspicions, goes back inside.

Saddened, Allison proceeds to walk about seemingly aimlessly.  But this leads to her reuniting with Luther, who is also feeling dejected after his falling out with Mr. Ruby and is currently stuffing his face at an outdoor barbecue restaurant.  Their reunion is reasonably sweet. They proceed to catch up with each other, though they gloss over their personal heartbreaks.  Allison asks Luther if he’s heard from the others, so Luther tells her that Vanya is living on a farm and is actually really happy there and that Diego is in a mental hospital.  (Luther doesn’t know Diego broke out at this point.)  In return, Allison tells him that Klaus has become a cult leader.  Of course, when Luther states that Number 5 turned up again, he tells her that they will somehow cause a second apocalypse, which is supposed to occur in 7 days.  Allison is clearly taken aback by this.

Back at Elliot’s apartment, Number 5 has regrouped with Diego, Lila and Elliot, stating he’s confident Vanya will come around and rejoin them eventually.  Diego asks him if he’s sure the white-haired assassins (who Number 5 refers to as The Swedes) will go after her again.  Number 5 says he can’t be sure they won’t, but right now, their priority is locating 1963 Reginald and asking him some questions about his possible involvement with the approaching Kennedy Assassination. Fortunately, Number 5 knows just where they can find him.  During their previous search of 1963 Reginald’s umbrella factory, Number 5 had located an invitation to a gala that’s being hosted by a man named Hoyt Hillenkoetter.  Immediately upon hearing that name, Elliot’s ears perk up.  It appears that Hoyt is a member of The Majestic 12 (roll credits), which is some secret governmental group that I imagine is in the same vein as the Illuminati.  Elliot proceeds to show them a photograph that had been taken of the Majestic 12.  How this photograph came to exist is not explained, but I’m sure Elliot wasn’t the only conspiracy nut in the 1960s.  Lila voices her observation that there are only 11 men in Elliot’s photograph.  In response, Elliot states that nobody has been able to identify the mysterious 12th member.  Upon hearing this, Number 5 and Diego share a look.  It’s obvious they’ve concluded that Reginald was the 12th member of this organisation. 

Meanwhile, Vanya has returned to the farmhouse.  Upon her arrival, she is immediately greeted by Sissy, who is overjoyed to see her.  She asks Vanya what happened.  Vanya admits she doesn’t know where to begin, so Sissy states they can talk over breakfast.  And so, Vanya fills Sissy in on the finer points of what happened after she left the farmhouse.  Specifically the part about The Swedes being after her.   Sissy suggests going to the police, but Vanya turns down that option, as the matter is complicated.  Instead, Vanya feels that, in order to make sure Sissy and Harlan remain safe, she has to leave.  Sissy is dead set against this, though.  She tells Vanya that they can just go away somewhere, and that she’ll do whatever it takes to protect her from The Swedes.   At that moment, they both realize that Harlan had been in earshot of their conversation.  Realizing that Vanya was considering leaving for good, he runs out of the house, clearly upset, and Sissy and Vanya race after him.  They quickly lose sight of him, though, forcing the two women to split up in order to find him.  After a frantic search, Vanya overhears the sound of water splashing.  Following the sound, she sees Harlan’s bird toy floating in a large pond.  Which clearly indicates he’d fallen in.  Vanya, in a desperate attempt at saving the boy, concentrates on tapping into her powers.  (Either she knows she has them now or this was just her instincts taking over.)  With her powers, she pushes back the water in the pond like it’s the Red Sea, enabling her to retrieve Harlan’s unconscious form.  Once they’re safely on shore, Vanya begins performing CPR on him.  At first, it looks like it’s all in vain, as Harlan remains unresponsive.  But then, small specks of light enter into Harlan’s mouth and go down his throat.  In the blink of an eye, Harlan comes back to life, much to Vanya and Sissy’s relief.

Upon returning to the farmhouse, Sissy brings Harlan up to bed.  When she rejoins Vanya downstairs, she suggests not mentioning what had happened with Harlan nearly drowning to Carl (who is away on a business trip in Waco).  As Sissy begins to drink the liqueur Vanya poured for her, the events of the day catch up to her, and she breaks down crying.  She acknowledges that Harlan would have died if Vanya hadn’t been there.  Vanya consoles her, pointing out that Harlan is going to be fine, as the doctor had already checked him over and determined that he’d pull through.  Still, Vanya feels that things might be best if she left.  Clearly, she’s still thinking of The Swedes.  Sissy then begins confiding in Vanya that she felt unfulfilled with her life, as her husband doesn’t see her and her son doesn’t talk to her.  But then Vanya came into their lives.  She then kisses Vanya, and, after a pause, Vanya reciprocates. 

Over at a diner somewhere, Klaus jumps right into his personal mission by approaching Dave and trying to convince him to not enlist in the army.  Because if he does, they’re going to send him to Vietnam, where thousands of American soldiers and millions of Vietnamese soldiers will die for nothing.  Unfortunately, Klaus’ efforts are spoiled by Dave’s uncle, Brian, who is clearly of the mindset that being a military man is the highest honor imaginable.  Uncle Brian begins throwing homophobic slurs at Klaus and orders Dave to punch Klaus.  In the end, Uncle Brian’s taunts force Dave to comply with that order, though it’s clear that Dave isn’t happy about doing so.  Klaus then leaves the diner, as Ben, who had been watching the whole scene unfold, stands by in visible shock.  

Ben later catches up to Klaus, who is trying to drown his sorrow with alcohol.  He tries to talk Klaus out of it, as Klaus has been sober for the past three years and can’t throw out that progress now, but to no avail.  And Klaus proceeds to drink from a bunch of bottles.  (And I’m a little surprised he was able to get away with drinking in the liqueur store.  Were the rules about drinking alcohol before actually paying for the bottle looser in the 60s?)  Unfortunately for Klaus, when he returns to his mansion, he finds his followers have all managed to track him down.  Horrified, Klaus turns and retreats, with his devoted followers all running after him, not picking up on the obvious indication that he wants to get away from them.  Eventually, Klaus manages to give them the slip and returns to the Chestnut household, looking for a place to crash for the night.  Allison, while it’s clear she’s exasperated with her brother’s antics (and still upset over how things went with Ray), allows him to camp out on the couch.

Elsewhere, Luther finds that he’s being kicked out of his small apartment, as he’s now on Mr. Ruby’s bad side and his landlord doesn’t want to end up crossing Mr. Ruby, either.  So Luther is forced to head over to Elliot’s place to look for Number 5.  Of course, Number 5 has already left for the gala with Diego and Lila, so only Elliot is there to let him in.  They then proceed to get high on some nitrous oxide.  As they sit around giggling and swapping man stories and what not, Luther lets slip that the world will end in 7 days.  While Elliot is shocked and confused by that statement, the laughing gas high prevents him from really reacting to this.

At the gala, Diego, Lila and Number 5 plan to infiltrate the party.  (And I have to laugh here.  While Diego and Lila managed to locate the appropriate attire to attend a fancy soiree, Number 5 is still wearing his Umbrella Academy schoolboy uniform.  What, did they not have tuxes in child sizes in 1963? Or could Number 5 not be bothered to try and blend in?)  Before they try to sneak in, however, Number 5 makes sure Lila knows that he doesn’t trust her.  (And, knowing what we know about Lila, Number 5 might be smart to be suspicious of her.)

Once inside, Number 5 slips off to search the upstairs for 1965 Reginald.  Once they’re alone, Diego pulls Lila aside to ask where she ran off to last night.  It seems he’d woken up while Lila was off meeting with The Handler and noticed she was no longer lying next to him.  Lila smoothly covers up her absence by stating she’d slipped off to a drug store to get more gauze for his stab wound.  And then, to further distract him, she pulls him onto the dance floor.  They proceed to have a pretty nicely done dancing scene.  However, their dance ends abruptly when Diego spots something that makes him freeze.  To his amazement, the Hargreeves Siblings’ robot mother, Grace, or someone who looks remarkably like her, is standing amongst the other guests.  So of course, Diego has to go and approach her.  Of course, it’s not clear if this is actually the Grace that Diego knows or not, as this Grace has a strong Texas accent.  However, Grace does state that Reginald is there as her date, but he slipped off to attend a meeting 20 minutes ago.  As Grace heads off, Diego suddenly remembers Lila and hurries off to find her again.  But we then see The Swedes are also there at the gala, posing as members of the wait staff.

Upstairs, Number 5 teleports himself into a closet.  This enables him to spy on the meeting of the Majestic 12, who are planning to organize the assassination of President Kennedy, in order to prevent him from continuing his investigation of their activities.  As Number 5 and Diego suspected, Reginald is indeed among them.  But when Number 5 accidentally makes his presence known by inadvertently making a noise, he has to teleport away before 1963 Reginald can stab him with a fireplace poker.  Number 5′s bad luck continues when he materializes right in front of one of The Swedes.  A fight immediately breaks out between Number 5 and The Swedes, with Diego joining in early on.  As the fight continues, Lila also stumbles onto the scene.  After a brief hesitation, she goes to assist Number 5, following The Handler’s orders to protect him at all costs.  As a result, they manage to seemingly kill one of The Swedes.  But amidst the confusion, the Majestic 12 decide the secrecy of their meeting has been compromised and that they should regroup later at their backup location.  When Number 5 sees them leaving though the window, he teleports off, with Lila hurrying away as well.  While this does leave Diego at the mercy of the other two Swedes, he manages to overpower them and gets away as well.

Outside the Gala, Number 5 calls out to 1963 Reginald in Ancient Greek.  1963 Reginald reacts to this briefly, but he still gets into the car with Grace, driving off.  When Grace asks him who Number 5 was, 1963 Reginald states he was nobody important.  But it’s still made clear that whatever Number 5 said struck a cord with him.

Closing thoughts/questions:

So, was that actually the Grace the robot mother from the first season?  Because I thought the implication was that Reginald had built her specifically to be a nanny for the Umbrella Academy kids that wouldn’t get killed by Young Vanya’s outbursts.  However, it’s currently looking like Reginald had purposly modeled Grace the robot after this woman.  Which does suggest that she was someone particularly memorable to Reginald.

Really hoping that Klaus can succeed in saving Dave’s life.  It’s really unlucky he’s under the psychological grip of his homophobic, military-loving uncle.

Also hoping Allison can patch things up with Ray.  I’d hate for things to end on such a sour note for them.

What exactly was up with those glowing lights that went into Harlan’s mouth, seemingly resurrecting him? Is this a more advanced stage of Vanya’s powers, or is it something else?  Because they almost looked like those glowing lights Reginald released from the glass jar in the 1x10 flashback.  Which makes me wonder if my theory of those glowing lights have a connection to the miraculous birth of the Hargreeves Siblings (and the other 36 Miracle Babies) might actually go somewhere

The fact that they’re now presenting us with Sissy and Vanya as being in love is interesting.  Of course, there’s the question of what they might face if they’re found out.  Especially since Sissy is married.  Wonder if they’ll explore that.

Really hoping Lila ends up being a good guy in the end.  I still enjoy her relationship with Diego.  Even though she does chose to save Number 5 over Diego to abide with The Handler’s orders, the fact that she’d ealier stated she didn’t want to kill Diego suggests that she does have some manner of affection for him.  But will it be enough for her to overcome her mental programming?

I also wonder what exactly Number 5 called out to 1963 Reginald.  Hope they explain that in the next episode.

[orion-betelgeuse]

Shaina vs Marin

In episode 16 we saw a fight between Ophiuchus Shaina and Eagle Marin, im tired to read “that doest happen in manga” “Marin doesnt wanna fight”... this is not an opinion it’s a fact.

Marin is the silver saint of Eagle, she’s 16 years old, from Japan, she is 167cm tall and 51 Kg, (flyweight class).

Shaina is the silver saint of Ophiuchus, 16 years old, from Italy, she is 166cm tall and 49 Kg, (light flyweight class).

In light weights, Shaina's smaller wingspan gives her a faster and more powerful blow in spite of her lower weight, but also her lower weight gives her more resistance and speed than Marin.

Let’s begin in episode 1, when Shaina intercepts Seiya and Marin,

Shaina defies Marin to fight her to save Seiya...

but Marin refuses to fight and just advice Seiya during the fight.

Shaina beats Seiya hard but he only did a comeback when his pride overcome his lack of fighting spirit because the soldiers were beating him. A meteor broke her mask and Shaina let him go. 

In the manga Shaina’s role is a joke, she never fight Seiya again (just like ep 37, now i love you...), im sure Michi Himeno didn’t like that, Kurumada, do you really think this woman is not going to do anything to get revenge?

Of course in the anime, she does, Shaina trains hard to get stronger.

After the "old Pope died", Shaina seize the opportunity to test her skills and take vengeance over Marin, so lure her in a supposed training match.

Then we saw Shaina attacking Marin with a kick, take attention is this attack because is exactly the same she will use later. Marin dodges it with difficulty.

Shaina keeps pressing Marin, now it seems Marin dodges with more ease but Shaina maintains balance easily allowing her to attack again before Marin can launch a counterattack, at the end Shaina fakes a punch where she is attacking with another kick and Marin is forced to jump back.

Marin is panting because she's tired; not because Marin is scared, 

In the other hand for Shaina this was just a warm-up, now she knows Marin's speed and stamina.

Marin complains because she thought Shaina invited her to spar.

Now the conversation may vary depending on the dubbing, in the original version (Japanese), Shaina uses a racist tone, but she is only trying to provoke Marin to attack, but her taunt doest work. In the Spanish versions there is no reference to the Japanese or slavery, simply Shaina always fights for real.

In any case, this causes Marin to take a defensive stance, she can't attack because she's tired but also Shaina proved to be able to manage the Pegasus Meteor Fist, and a single attack like an Eagle Toe Flash, Shaina will dodge it easily. The best option for Marin is to be defensive while recovering.

Shaina needs a faster attack to hit Marin and does it with a Thunder Claw based on kicks. It's the same attack at the beginning of the fight, but much faster.

Shingo Araki can't save frames in the animation to make it look faster because we wouldn't see it, the cobra's recreation is magnificent for a 1986 anime.

Marin is unable to dodge or block this attack. Shaina kicks Marin eleven times, ten in the belly and one in the head. Shaina knocks down Marin.

Shaina defeats Marin with a single Thunder Claw, a technique Marin saw several times in the first episode, Shaina is so fast Marin couldnt do anything. Marin is knocked out, unable to get up.

But Shaina doesn't look happy or satisfied with her victory

The action is cut and we move on to a scene between Pope, Gigas and Phaeton.

This scene lasts 50 seconds, Shingo Araki saves a scene where presumably Shaina laughs at Marin and despises her, lifts her off the ground to keep hitting her. Since Marin's body is not bloody we can assume that the action returns just when Shaina hits again.

Even with her mask, we can see the pain in Marin’s face

Marin can't stand up, so Shaina hits her again to throw her against the soldiers so they can hold her, but she also has to make sure Marin can't recover from the previous blow. 

Shaina kicks Marin 3 times and finishes her combo with a kick in the head.

It may seem that the soldiers do not let Marin move, but in reality Marin does nothing to move. Marin is completely stunned.

With Marin at his mercy, Shaina changes her tactic and prepares to use her fists, Shaina charges while she shouts like an amazon with a loud warcry.

Shaina hits Marin even harder, now is Marin who screams loud but in pain. The animation for Marin's face changes to reflect a stronger blow and the pain.

Shaina hits Marin hard in the belly, it's four punches counting the previous blow. 

Shingo Araki changed the position of the camera, to show how Shaina is beating Marin with both fists. Shaina hits six times.

The beating is too strong, Shaina deals a crushing blow after another, Marin cannot withstand such powerful punches, she begins to bleed abundantly, with the sound of the blows we can count three more,

High blood pressure causes your wounds to open and bleeds heavily from the head, internal wounds from the punches in the belly makes her bleed from the mouth too. Marin begins to shake and she is about to reach her limit.

As long as Marin keeps screaming and conscious, Shaina won't stop the butchering. Five more punches to add. 

But Aiolia shouts her to stop.

Although it is not seen, the soldiers release Marin and it falls on Shina

Now it is Shaina who holds Marin.

Now Shaina complains because Aiolia defends Marin

Aiolia helps Marin and remembers Shaina, she also swore allegiance to the new Pope. 

Aiola asks if she is still angry about the defeat of Casios

That makes Shaina more angry, which threatens Aiolia in the original dub, but in the end she has to leave.

In the end, Shaina did not hit vital areas of Marin's body, she could recover. Shaina's goal was first to paralyze Marin and then give her a brutal beating and it is no less true that if Aiolia had not intervened, Shaina would have killed Marin.

Combat log:

COMBAT DURATION: (2:10) ; effective time (1:20)

Attacks made: Shaina - 40 : Marin - 0

Dodges made: Shaina - 0 : Marin - 8

Successful hits: Shaina - 32 : Marin - 0

Successful kicks: Shaina - 14  : Marin - 0

Kicks in the belly: Shaina - 12  : Marin - 0

Kicks in the head: Shaina - 2 : Marin - 0

Successful punches: Shaina - 18  : Marin - 0

Knockdowns dealt: Shaina - 1 : Marin - 0

knockouts dealt: Shaina - 1 : Marin - 0

Shaina wins by KO 

I've also read that Marin lets Shaina hit her to “avoid problems”... is a great idea, letting a rival who hates you beat you to death. Marin tries to fight but simply cannot, she doesnt Shaina acts like a swarmer pression on Marin 

Nothing happens to recognize Shaina defeats Marin. It's true Shaina attracts Marin to fight in a supposed spar, but soon Shaina proves to be faster and more resilient than Marin, once Marin knows this is a real fight, she has enough time to attack or defend but Marin knows Shaina is a tough warrior, no Seiya's Meteor Fist was able to hit her (in fact, in all fights between them) so Marin's neither and an Eagle Toe Flash would be easily dodged because Shaina is faster.

Marin knows Shaina's Thunder Claw from the first episode, she saw it several times, so her best option is block it and counterattack to defeat a faster opponent. 

But Shaina has been training hard for a long time, and her Thunder Claw is more powerfull and hits Marin completely, from then Shaina dominates the fight, Shaina gives Marin a vicious beating Marin.

The duo Araki-Himeno developed these characters much more, Shaina is a hardcore warrior, brave and sometimes insolent, the other silver saints treat her with respect, she fought Seiya 4 times, fought Hyoga and Shun at the same time, she survived to gold saints attacks, god warriors and even Poseidon. Also she was able to block Bud's Shadow Viking Tiger Claw to save Shun.

While Marin is a more defensive and reflective fighter, when she understands Asterion's power, she manages to defeat him with a single blow but also she has a more active role in research such as when she finds Shion's body, when she discovers the existence of Alcor Zeta Bud or when she finds Seika.

[solitaire-dreams]

An Anime Adaptation Theory:

So, episode 5 of Jibaku Shounen Hanako Kun came out recently, and got many reactions from fans. Akane, Lemon, and “Dark Hanako” stans got some crumbs, everyone's gushing over the apology scene, and Minamoto-senpai has made his proper debut. However, there is one thing that manga fans got caught up on, and that's the fear that the anime could skip adapting an arc.

To keep it brief and as spoiler-free as possible anime-onlys who may somehow encounter this post—despite it being tagged for spoilers—episode 5 adapted: all of chapter 8, part of chapter 9...but then the ending of chapter 10 and the beginning of chapter 11. That's a chunk of content missing, specifically that of “The Young Exorcist” arc, and next weeks episode is titled “The 4 O Clock Library”. Not “The Young Exorcist.” That has confused many manga fans and made a good chunk fear that this arc would be skipped in its entirety. However, I'm here to propose a revised timeline for the anime to follow that would still adapt this arc. Just not quite in the spot we all expected.

One warning anime-onlys. Spoilers under the cut.

So, I don't think there's any way I can argue that “The Young Exorcist” will be next weeks episode, unless they very much compress it to fit within the next episode, plus enough content from chapter 11 and/or 12 to warrant its title. What really intrigues me though is the fact the title is just “The 4 O Clock Library”. Not “The 4 O Clock Library Part 1”. When episode 4 was announced, even anime-onlys knew they were getting into a multi part arc, as the episode title was revealed to be “The Misaki Stairs Part 1.”

But it wouldn't make sense for the entire content of the 4pm Bookstacks arc to be adapted in 1 episode. Even if Lerche adapted part of chapter 11, that would leave the remainder of the chapter and 3 more full ones to be adapted into one episode.

Could they break up the episodes? Maybe that would explain why they aren't titling it as a multi-parter. They adapt a chunk, take a break for the Young Exorcist arc, and then come back for the rest.

But that doesn't make any sense either. Once we enter the 4pm Bookstacks in the middle of chapter 11, the characters don't leave until the yoshiro is destroyed and the flashback is over around the end of chapter 13 to the middle of chapter 14. Still way too much content to adapt.

Then, maybe they've retitled episode 7 for some reason. Maybe because the content adapted doesn't really focus on the 4pm Bookstacks itself.

Okay, but what else does the arc focus on...

Oh.

Yep, I'm here to suggest that episode 6 will adapt the remainder of chapter 11, to the point where Yashiro breaks away from the group in chapter 13; while episode 7 will adapt the remainder of chapter 13 to the end of chapter 14. In other words, mostly centring around the flashbacks to a certain boy named Amane.

Here's what I imagine the anime timeline to look like for the rest of the season:

Episode 6: “The 4 O Clock Library” Adapts the remainder of chapter 11 up to the scene in chapter 13 where Yashiro parts from the toilet trio.

Episode 7: “The Lunar Rock” or “Yugi Amane” Adapts the remainder of chapter 13 up to the end of chapter 14.

Episode 8: “The Young Exorcist” Adapts the remainder of chapter 9 up to the end of chapter 10.

Episode 9: “The Doughnuts” Adapts chapters 15 (The Doughnuts) to 16 (The Little Mermaid Part 1).

Episode 10: “The Little Mermaid” Adapts chapters 17 (The Little Mermaid Part 2) to 18 (Mitsuba Part 1).

Episode 11: “Mitsuba” Adapts chapter 19 (Mitsuba Part 2) to chapter 20 (Part 3).

Episode 12: “The Tea Party” Adapts chapters 21 to 22, or both parts of The Tea Party arc.

Now, I need to explain why “The Young Exorcist” is right after the events of the 4pm Bookstacks, why I still included it, and what changes would need to be made to facilitate this arrangement.

Taking The Young Exorcist arc under examination, one can actually find that the events are fairly self-contained. Sure, it provides good character development for Kou; but unlike many other multi part arcs in this series, it does not include any new characters that would be referenced later on; such as Tsuchigomori in the upcoming arc. Teru is the closest thing we have to a new characters, but he's already been introduced to the audience, and he doesn't make another appearance until chapter 29; which I highly doubt will be adapted this season.

Thus, this provides a lot of flexibility for where to place it. While Kou's character development is important, it can be fairly easily rearranged.

For example, instead of Kou saying this to Yashiro about his current feelings on Hanako in the 4pm Bookstacks arc:

He could instead say something along the lines of: “I'm kinda...not sure about that. I-I-I mean, you said that he was a good apparition, senpai. I don't want to exorcise him before I figure out for sure if he's a good guy or a bad guy. So, finding this book will help me, too! I can figure out whether he's going to act good or bad, and if he's bad, I can find his weakness so I can exorcise him!”

Additionally, Kou searching for Hanako's book could be further used as a tool he's searching for in order to prove to his brother that Hanako isn't bad. So, when it fails, and they have to leave the 4pm Bookstacks without finding it, that's why he ends up resorting to cutting class and The Young Exorcist arc begins.

I also figured it was better to put The Young Exorcist arc before the adaptation of chapter 15, due to this set of panels:

In the scene in chapter 11, Kou and Nene bond over wanting to learn more about Hanako; something that can be greatly enhanced if Kou would be hunting for information to prove Hanako is a good spirit. However, in this scene from chapter 15, Kou and Nene bond over not knowing what to do about Hanako (which seems to work even with delaying The Young Exorcist arc), but since Kou is the one cheering her up this time, and he references the events of this arc, it would ring hollow if he still wasn't sure what to do and was as confused as Nene.

But, I think that concludes my predictions for how the rest of the season will be adapted, and evidence to back me up. I would bet money on this, but I'm broke, so instead I'll wait for next week to see if I bet correctly. May we get to see this gorgeous panel on the big screen.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 4x09 DNR

This episode is mostly about setting up the explosive developments of the last 4 episodes, it deals with four almost fully separate storylines. Three of them are mostly about characters dealing with their traumas and deciding what path they will take for the rest of their lives, and these storylines are all quite good. And then there’s the fourth storyline that’s all about Grounder politics… and I’m not fully sure how I feel about it.

The title “DNR” refers to the decision of Jasper and a group of others to stay behind in Arkadia, partying, and eventually dying on their own terms, instead of following Jaha to the bunker. Jaha, who’s somehow positioned himself into the role of leader in Arkadia again, even though he hasn’t been given any kind of official title, is again giving leadership speeches, and gets most of the people to join him. He still believes that all of them will have the place in the bunker. The new info that there is some sort of salvation has made Bellamy stop with the partying and join the group heading for the bunker. (As he explains to Monty:  “There was no hope, now there’s hope”). Some 400+ people, including Niylah, also join, but a number of other, including Jasper (who is kind of their leader), Riley, Bree and eventually Harper, decide to stay behind and have a party for the end of the world. This is really very understandable, and it makes sense that a number of people would make that decision, after everything they had gone through, and with such grim prospects. (And now that we know how horrible things ended up being in the bunker, and that 1/3 of people died in it, while another 1/3 died shortly afterwards – I can’t even say that Jasper and co. made the wrong decision.)

Jaha insists he won’t leave kids to die, and Bellamy points out he sent them to the ground to die – but now it’s their own choice. (At this point, there’s another touching moment when Jaha has another vision of his son who was the only one of the 100 who willingly went to the ground.)  Bellamy has understood that you can’t save those who don’t want to be saved (as Kane pointed out to him in 4x07). At this point, he understands that Jasper and the others have the right to decide what they want to do with their lives, even if they want to end it, and that it is not his duty or right to make those decisions for them.

“DNR”, Do Not Resuscitate, is what Jasper writes on his hand and shows through the glass to Jaha, Bellamy and the others, refusing to open the door and come with them. It is a very sad moment that says a lot about how Jasper feels about himself and his life – in spite of the outwardly cheerful, partying manner he adopted in season 4, he felt that he was like a person in a coma, already emotionally dead, only artificially kept alive.

However, Monty is not giving up on his best friend and his girlfriend, so stays behind with the rover, risking his own life, in case Jasper and Harper change their minds.

Raven has her own self-destructive journey, as she starts seeing visions of Becca, and decides to stay behind and try to spacewalk instead of going into the bunker. I don’t know how much “Becca” is similar to the real Becca, since it is just a part of the code that was left in Raven’s mind after the chip was taken out. I’m also not sure why it’s Becca that she keeps seeing, rather than ALIE – while the remains of the neural mesh in Clarke’s mind in season 6 made her see ALIE. Raven’s storyline gets more focus and is resolved in 4x11. But this episode has a very important and sweet moment between Raven and Murphy, who have finally become friends and even share a hug. Murphy finally apologizes to Raven for crippling her (that was a long time coming), but she replies it’s not his fault – it’s not the use of her leg that’s bothering her, it’s losing her mind. I wasn’t fully on board with the Murphy redemption/Murphy getting accepted into the group until season 4, when he started apologizing and trying to be genuinely helpful.

There are also some interesting Memori interactions and character moments for Emori. They are all waiting for Miller and Jackson will come back for them to take them to Polis to the bunker, but Emori doesn’t believe they will, and thinks that they won’t need Raven anymore now that her brain isn’t working properly – which says a lot about how Emori is used to seeing the world, based on her experience: people will throw you out as soon as they have no need for you. Murphy suggests they go to the lighthouse bunker, but Emori points out they will die since food would run out far before five years pass. (Just so the audience would know that this is not an option.) To their surprise, Miller and Jackson do come back. But Raven refuses to go.

This is the first time we see sparks between Jackson and Miller. Which confused me a lot the first time, as I was wondering “But where is Bryan?” Now I can see that Bryan broke up with Miller early in the season (4x02, in his last appearance), but this was so subtle that you could easily miss. In any case, this relationship still comes of the blue. I like the idea of it, but it would be nice if it wasn’t developed mostly off-screen. (The age difference may also be weird, but the show seems to constantly forget that Miller and the  otherDelinquents are supposed to be about 18 at most at this point – and wasn’t, at this point, doing anything to even try to make 30-something Jarod Joseph look younger.)

Meanwhile, Octavia is genuinely trying to live a peaceful life with Ilian on his farm. This relationship has unexpectedly developed into something warmer and more positive. As they cuddle at night, he tells her his beliefs in the afterlife and the cyclical nature of things. I really like these scenes and Ilian’s views, and I low-key shipped Octiilian: it was refreshing that they did not fall in love after knowing each other for a few days, they were just two screwed up people seeking comfort in each other, but there was still a genuine connection there that could have grown into real love – if the show hadn’t killed him off to leave Octavia single and propel her Octavia’s Blodreina arc. In any case, it certainly helped get Octavia into a more positive head space and even heal up to a point, going from her murder-period to trying to save people in the Conclave.

Still, Octavia was never going to go as far as to settle on a farm and have a peaceful life. She would rather be in Polis where a war is being fought. And when she learns Ilian is a trained warrior, you can see new admiration on her face. But to be fair, she was making a genuine effort to leave a peaceful life, but couldn’t escape her own past and reputation, in the form of three of Ilian’s acquaintances who attacked her and tried to kill her (after one of them recognized her, after seeing her in Polis, as “Skairipa”). She did try to avoid fighting at first, but those three were basically poking a bear. She could have tried to non-lethally subdue them – but going straight for the kill is what Octavia does, proving to herself once more than peaceful life really is not for her.

And now the storyline that slightly brings the ratings down for this episode, because I’m not sure what exactly I’m supposed to take from it. If it’s about relating to Clarke for being completely desperate and exasperated by everyone around her acting stupidly and waging a war a week before the apocalypse, and trying everything to get them to listen to her reasonable proposals – which explains her actions in 4x10? Yes, that works! Am I supposed to side with Roan feel that Clarke has crossed the line and insulted the Grounder religion? Sorry, I don’t care. Or was it just meant to play with the suspense of “will she or won’t she take the Flame?” Meh. I don’t think I ever believed that would happen.

To start off, at some point off-screen, the Arkers agreed with the Trikru to share the bunker between just the two of their clans, and to assassinate Roan. (Wait... so the moral, idealistic Kane agreed to an assassination?! He was usually the one negotiating with Indra.) Abby delivers that information to Clarke, who is upset and tries to stop it, because she considers Roan a friend. (Which shows what a low bar Clarke has for friendship – yes, they’ve been semi-friendly allies, but they manipulate each other politically 90% of the time, and he was threatening to kill her friends just a few episodes ago. But that’s a recurring thing for her – I guess with her life and the situations she is in, she will take even semi-friendly behavior as being BFFs. I laughed when she referred to Murphy in 3x07 as “my friend”, which was way weirder as they hadn’t even been friendly at all up to that point.) It turns out to be unnecessary as Echo is already there with Azgeda warriors, and they take Clarke captive, but Roan just pretends that Clarke is a captive in front of Echo, while freeing her and thanking her afterwards. They are some sort of friends.

Clarke manages to convince him to negotiate with Indra, who comes with leaders of the clans allied with Trikru against Azgeda – it looks like Azgeda are on their own, but are numerous and strong enough to fight a war by their own.  Clarke tries to convince everyone to share the bunker, which has space for 1200 people (so does that mean it’s more than any of the 12 Grounder clans by themselves? It’s certainly 800 spaces more than there are Arkers who want to be in the bunker), but they really hate each other and would rather continue with the war. Clarke tries to invoke Lexa’s name to convince Indra, but she retorts that a Commander could unite the clans, but there are no more Commanders. Clarke is clearly desperate at this point, and pretty much ready to do anything. So she has an idea – and goes to Gaia, telling her to make her a Commander. The only thing that can make Grounders listen to her suggestions.

They do quite a fake-out, as Roan, who knows how Clarke became a Nightblood, waits for the very last moment to expose her (oh Roan, how dramatic you are!), bringing Abby – who’s worried that the Flame would kill Clarke – to tell everyone that she made her daughter Nightblood through science. They’re all shocked that she would disrespect their religion so much… I mean, using science to create something that was created 90+ years ago through science, by a scientist who wanted to make sure people could get a computer chip in their head? Blasphemy! Roan points out that, if everyone can make themselves Nightbloods, they can’t trust the “black blood” to be special anymore (indeed, how terrible it would be if rulers weren’t special by birth and blood and anyone could become a ruler just because of, say, their capabilities?). Clarke tries to appeal to Roan, indicating that she’s trying to save everyone, and he accuses her of thinking of them as savages that need saving. I dunno, maybe she just thinks they’re being idiots. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to think that Clarke is bad for ‘disrespecting’ their culture? I find myself extremely not caring about their stupid culture that was made up 90+ years ago, probably by a bunch of nutty cultists who were way too much into GoT cosplay, especially when it means making idiotic decisions that could end up with the human race dying out. * Waiting for someone to protest that I’m culturally insensitive for disrespecting a silly fictional culture made up by The 100 writers*

So, Grounder leaders wisely decide that the question of who gets the bunker, which concerns the survival of the human race, just as every other important political decision, needs to be resolved by… people trying to kill each other with swords and spears. Nice, guys. Really makes sense. Indra wants war, but Roan instead proposes a special Conclave with a champion for each clan, repeating again his motto that it’s better for one to die instead thousands. Except he’s wrong, this wouldn’t be just one person dying – entire clans of those champions who lose would be left to die. (It won’t happen that way just because Octavia will propose that they share a bunker. What a great idea… oh wait, the same one Clarke suggested in this episode and the Grounder leaders just ignore. Too bad, Clarke, you may have good ideas, but you can’t fight with a sword…)

In the last scene of the episode, Clarke and Bellamy are in the same place and interacting for the first time since 4x06. Bellamy is worried that they have no one who can fight in the Conclave – they can’t use guns and need someone trained in Grounder combat – while Clarke points out they have to fight or they will die – when Octavia rides into the city and says she’s here for the war. Dum dum - here is our champion for the Sky people! Octavia would be a long shot if we were looking realistically, but being a main character and fighting for the existence of the protagonists gives her enormous Plot Armor.

Timeline: 6 days till Praimfaya – this means it has been 4 days since the start of episode 4x07. Two days are supposed to pass during the episode, because, towards the end of the episode, Clarke says that it’s 4 days  before Praimfaya.

Body count:

Three Trikru warriors killed by Echo’s archers

Three Trishanakru people who attacked Octavia and then got killed by her

Rating: 7.5/10