#(photo was taken a few hours ago; I'm just sharing it now)

[absolutely-zero-regrets]

obsessed with this lil guy I got from the vendor at school today

[suuuupernovaaa]

‘awlie [ʔaw.ˈli.ɛ] adv. once (in the past)

Anonymous Request: Maybe one with reader who was an avatar that did the consciousness transfer and while moving some of her stuff from the lab to stay with the clan, Neteyam finds a picture of her with an ex boyfriend that she's kept and thinks that maybe she still likes human men or that maybe he's unattractive/ugly to her?

1,680 words

Even though I was used to being in this body, I was only used to being in it in a temporary sense. There was always a deadline, and when I closed my eyes, I would wake up in my human body.

Now, when I close my eyes, I stay here, in this avatar, as one of the Na'vi. I know I'm lucky to be one of the few who even has an avatar, and one of the even fewer to pass through the eye of Ewya and return.

Watching my human form be lowered into the ground and buried was... weird. It was exactly like attending my own funeral, and it felt like I should be mourning, but instead, I was rejoicing.

I was ready to be one of The People, to live in Home Tree, to learn everything I possibly could with the new hours in the day I'd been given. To spend every spare moment with Neteyam.

There were just a few things I needed from the lab first, and Neteyam had graciously offered to come along.

I couldn't bring much with me, but there was a journal I wanted, and a small photo album with pictures my parents had brought from earth.

It was a quick trip, in and out, and as we exited the lab, Neteyam flipped carefully through the photo book that was dwarfed by his hands. He asked me questions about my parents, our family back on earth, and as he turned near the last page, a picture fell on the ground.

It was of me and David, years ago as teenagers together in the lab, our arms around each other's shoulders, smiling at the camera.

He stopped walking, and handed it to me.

I took it and smiled. David and I hadn't spoken in a while, especially since I'd met Neteyam, but it was nice to see the picture; he'd been my only friend for a long time, and something more than that for a little while, but we'd been better off as friends in the end.

"This is David. We grew up together, in the lab. We sort of dated for a while, too. He's really nice, you'd like him."

Neteyam handed me the photo album, and I tucked it away in the back.

I extended my hand to him, and he took it. "Ready?"

He smiled at me. "Ready."

--

Though it was an evening of celebration, welcoming Y/N as one of the people with food, drink, music and dancing, Neteyam had something weighing on him.

He could not get the picture of Y/N and David out of his mind. He tried to remember if she had ever mentioned him before, but it didn't seem that she had.

Why had she smiled so fondly at that picture? Where was David now? Did she miss her human life, was she having regrets about leaving her human body behind?

If David was still in the picture, would she have chosen differently? Was Neteyam a second choice behind someone he didn't even know?

He knew he was being foolish, but there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. Y/N had given up an entire human life for him, and for his people, but he could not shake the feeling he got when she had taken that picture gently into her hands and smiled.

She pulled him away from his thoughts to join in on a dance together, but he still felt uneasy.

--

Eventually, I felt a little overwhelmed with the celebration. It had been going on for hours, and even though it was in my honor, I still needed to get away - just for a few minutes.

I pulled Neteyam from the dancing, up through home tree, to the large, embroidered hammock we were now sharing together. Even though we were not mated yet, there was really no need for us to live separately, not when we would be finding our way to each other every night anyway.

Sitting down, I pulled Neteyam down with me, and took his hands into mine.

"Tell me what's bothering you, and I swear to god, if you say nothing-"

Neteyam cut me off, "David."

I leaned back, wrinkling my brow. "David? My ex-boyfriend David?"

He leaned over, grabbing the photo album where it lay. He flipped right to the back, and pulled out the photo of me and David, handing it over to me.

Holding it tightly in my hand, I looked up at him.

"Did this upset you? That I have this?"

He shook his head. "No, I... wonder if you feel like you made a mistake."

A little jealously, I could understand - after all, a lot of men would be bothered if their woman kept a picture of herself and an ex around. But he thought I was regretting my life choices?

That was absurd.

"You mean, choosing to stay as one of The People?"

He looked to the side, clearly a little embarrassed. "Choosing us. Choosing, um, me."

I tried my very hardest not to laugh. It started as a small smile, and then it spread, and even though I was trying my best not to laugh, a little bit of a chuckle escaped.

"Oh, Neteyam, I'm sorry!" I got onto my knees, crawling forward towards him, putting my hands on his shoulders. "It's just, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! You don't realize that I fell in love with you the first time we met? And I thought I was being ridiculous, that you could never love me, you could never choose some Sky Person to be your mate and... and the first time you held my hand. Well, hold on."

Along with the photo album, I'd brought a journal of my last few years on Pandora. I flipped through until I found the page I was looking for, and began to read aloud.

"I went on a hunt today, for the first time. I didn't catch anything but, it was still really fun, and Neteyam was really patient with me. On the way back, he held my hand. I can't describe how happy it made me. I never thought he would think of me that way, but he squeezed my hand before we said goodbye, and it almost seemed like he wanted to kiss me."

I flipped a few pages forward.

"I told Neteyam I love him today, and he said it back! I can't believe it. I don't understand what I could have done to deserve this. I feel happy all the time. I dream about him at night, and I think about him first thing when I wake up. I have never felt like this before. Holy shit, I'm so in love."

A few more pages. I was too nervous to look up at Neteyam now.

"Tonight, I'm going to ask Ewya to allow me to live out the rest of my days in my Avatar. It feels really strange, knowing this could be my last day as a human. I feel sad, in a way. I think I'd feel more sad if mom and dad were alive, but it feels like Neteyam and his family are my family now. He hasn't asked me to be his mate but, I think he might want that. Either way, I know I belong with The People. I hope I don't fucking die."

I closed the book, and handed it to him, finally finding the courage to look into his eyes. "It's all in here, Neteyam. David was a friend, but I certainly wouldn't have given my life up for him. And, to be honest, I didn't do it just for you. I feel like I belong here. I feel really happy. And I can't imagine my life any other way."

Neteyam stared at me, his mouth hanging open slightly, his eyes a little misty. Finally, he reached out and put his hand on my cheek, and I leaned into his touch.

"I do want you to be my mate, Y/N. I didn't want to... overwhelm you, by asking too soon."

This time, I didn't have to try and stifle the laugh that rose quickly in my throat and out past my lips. "Neteyam! If you had asked me the day we met, I might have said yes." I grabbed the journal from his hands, and opened it to one of the first pages. I handed it back to him. "Read it. Out loud."

He rolled his eyes, but brought the small journal close to his face. "I met the Sully family today. Neytiri and Jake are intense, but the kids are all so nice. Kiri is my age, Neteyam just a few months older, and I hope I get to see them again. Especially Neteyam. He's so handsome, and so strong... I have a massive crush on him. Obviously nothing could ever happen, with me being human but, wow. I've never met anyone so incredible."

I took it from his hands before he could read anything more embarrassing than that. He playfully tried to get it back, but I held it behind my back and as he leaned over, captured him in a kiss.

He relaxed, giving up chase, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Do you see now, how much I have always loved you?" I whispered when I pulled away.

He pressed another quick, chaste kiss to my lips. "I should never have doubted you. If I had a... what do you call this?"

With no word in his language for it, I told him, "Journal."

"If I had a journal, and I had written about the day we'd met... I would have written that my life changed that day. That I met the most beautiful woman on the planet, and my brother had teased me that night that I was going to try to mate with a Sky Woman. And he was right."

I sighed. "I wish you had a journal."

He laughed. "Me too."

[touteslespetiteschosess]

Is It Over Now? || Kylian Mbappé

Plot: Kylian and y/n have been fighting for so long, she's not even sure she knows what they're fighting for anymore. Angst.

Warnings: toxic relationship

Word count: 3458

Masterlist

y/n well done on your goal, amour x will you want dinner when you get home? i'm making myself some pasta so i'll do extra for you x do you know what time you'll be home? i've left some food in the fridge for you x kylian can you reply please? i'm worried it's getting late, where are you?

A deep frown was etched on her face, she stared at her ignored texts, the oldest sent five hours ago and the most recent nearly an hour ago. None of them had received a response and neither had her calls.

She hadn't been able to go to his match today, as she'd already arranged to go out for her friend's birthday in the morning. Kylian hadn't minded though, it wasn't a particularly important match and she rarely missed any of his games, so she could be forgiven for this. Surely that wasn't why he was ignoring her. Well, knowing him at the moment she could easily conclude that there was no reason behind the radio silence. He was just being Kylian.

Dick.

She knew he probably had no reason to ignore her; he was most likely just over at Achraf's and didn't value her emotions enough to dain her with a text back. Still, having been alone in the house for so many hours with only her thoughts to keep her company, she couldn't stop her mind from wandering. It only felt natural to pick up her phone and she really couldn't help herself from opening Instagram. Her thumbs had a mind of their own, opening one of his fan accounts.

Then there he was, grainy footage of him on their story at some club in Paris, surrounded by his teammates. And then there was somebody else. Some girl sat at his side- on his side more really- his arm flopped lazily over the back of the booth behind her.

She was saying something and he was laughing. He was laughing in a way that he never did with y/n anymore. Wow, he was really laughing- surely nothing she said could be that funny.

The video was short, maybe five seconds, but she restarted it, watching it again, feeling a fire raging within her. The next story was a photo that some stranger in the club had taken. The pair were on the dance floor, none of his friends were in sight now. Her hands were up in the air and only now did y/n notice the girl's outfit. She wore a little red dress, just like the one that hung up in y/n and Kylian's shared closet. It was his favourite dress and she knew it.

At the sight, the fire that burned within her suddenly settled, an eery calm setting over her. After a few moments, she headed upstairs and drew a bath, watching the water slowly rise up the tub's sides. She loved that bath; the tub was huge, yet elegant, and sat right in front of a huge window which gave the most amazing view of the Eiffel Tower. Besides that, she and Kylian had spent some memorable nights in this bathtub. Not for a while though, she thought.

Now that she really considered it, she wasn't sure how many good memories she had with Kylian in the last six months. Maybe after three years together, she'd just grown used to the knowledge that she loved him and hadn't considered if he still deserved it. Maybe she hadn't considered if he still deserved her.

Maybe she'd been so caught up in the idea of the perfect man she'd met in that bar three years ago. She still remembered that innocent smile so vividly, the way he'd lift his glass to sip, almost hiding behind the thing. How every time she'd flirt with him, he'd blush like a schoolboy, and then suddenly shoot back with the most outrageous comment.

How a month after they'd started dating, the pandemic hit, and he'd turned up at her door, much to her disapproval. Then, he'd immediately asked her to move in with him. She still remembered his words.

Take a chance. If we're gonna go down, let's go down in flames. I don't wanna forget you, baby.

That aged like room-temperature milk.

He'd convinced her so easily, his charming smile and smooth words always getting the best of her. And he'd been right. Those had been the best few months of her life.

And even after lockdown, when she was back at work and football became more full on, everything had just seemed so right. He just seemed so right.

Every time he'd go away for matches, he'd always find some stupid trinket to bring home for her. The tradition had started the week they'd met, when she'd asked him out on another date and he'd had to turn her down, as he was playing away in Italy. He'd brought her back a little keyring- a pizza with Italia written on it. It was so tacky and so cheesy that she immediately fell in love... with the keyring. Their fridge was still littered with far too many magnets to count, very out of place in his black and white, minimalist kitchen.

Of course, she remembered the first gift, and she remembered the first time he'd forgotten. It was after an away match to Manchester City. An away match that had knocked PSG out of the Champions League- in the semi-finals.

It wasn't that she'd been expecting a gift- no, she completely understood. It was difficult for him; he'd been injured and therefore couldn't play the second leg. He'd had to go all the way to Manchester and didn't even get to kick the ball. He just had to sit on the bench and watch his dream fade before his eyes.

Despite not playing, she knew he blamed himself. He always blamed himself. For the injury. For not scoring in the first leg. For everything.

At the time, she hadn't been upset that he hadn't bought her some shitty magnet for their already cluttered fridge or a bottle opener for their already stuffed drawer. Besides, Manchester didn't have much to offer in the tourism department besides football, so she could forgive him for not wanting to search through shops full of his opponents' memorabilia, just to uphold their tradition.

Looking back on it though, that was the moment he snapped. Three weeks later, he'd returned from Reims empty-handed; when she'd playfully questioned him, asking how she was supposed to sleep at night without an 'I <3 Reims' t-shirt, he'd grunted something about being busy with work and she tried not to let her face fall, wishing he'd have just made some stupid joke in response.

Y/n, I can't afford to keep buying you all these presents.

Honey, nobody hearts Reims.

Well, I had some grapes for you but I got peckish.

But no, he'd just grumbled some excuse and gone up to their room. They'd won the game too. The last match of the season. Sure, they hadn't won the league but that fate had been sealed weeks ago.

Of course, at the time, she hadn't sat up at night, tossing and turning because her relationship was over. She'd understood. For him, she'd understood.

Then, the trinkets began to come every other away match, then once a month, once every few months, and then they stopped coming. The last remnant of their once-sacred tradition still sat on her fridge. He'd brought it back after an unremarkable league tie against Nice. A little magnet in the shape of a palm tree, in the colours of the French flag, with two words on it.

Trés Nice!

What did that even mean? Neither of them were sure. She loved it.

After that, however, the keyrings, and magnets, and bottle openers, and t-shirts, and pens had suddenly stopped. Not trés Nice!

The bath was full, the bubble bath she'd added working a treat. Slowly, she eased herself into the warm water, sighing as she settled back in the tub. She didn't even have her phone but she really didn't care. For what must have been an hour, she stared out the window at the city below her. From his castle, she watched his kingdom, knowing she didn't have a place in it anymore.

She stared at the dark streets they used to haunt, giggling hand in hand as they snook out of their apartment for late-night strolls (though it was always technically morning) down streets that at any other hour would be packed with hundreds of people, pointing at Kylian. Or when they used to go to tourist attractions in the middle of the winter and he'd pull on a balaclava, dragging her up the Eiffel Tower or the Champs Elysees, insisting her liked the thrill. In truth, so did she.

She liked standing hand in hand with him, knowing the crowds around them had no idea Kylian Mbappé was in their midst, and they never would because he was her Kylian. For that moment, at least.

It was late when she heard the door downstairs, the security system blaring loudly. She didn't panic, as it quickly turned off. He didn't say a word on his arrival. She could hear him drawing closer to their bedroom, his feet heavy on the stairs, in the hallway, in their room, approaching the bathroom door.

She thought he'd let his guard down when they first met, telling her his worries and fears, but maybe he only truly knocked down his walls that night in the bathroom months ago, showing his true self.

Maybe she only truly got to know him after Qatar, when he really snapped. When she'd tried to comfort him and he'd yelled at her because she'd never truly understand what he was going through. She'd told him she was sorry. She'd apologised. For what? She still wasn't quite sure.

Maybe she only truly knew Kylian when she'd been struggling at work, doing overtime to catch up on her ridiculous workload at home. She'd missed his match and he'd lost; then, when he returned home and she hadn't been in the mood for kisses and cuddles, he'd been furious. He'd said it was her fault she was stressed- she'd brought it on herself. She could quit her job any day and never worry about money again. She'd tried to explain but he couldn't comprehend her need for self-reliance. If anything, he was insulted that she didn't trust him enough to let him take care of her. He'd never been overly traditional or had an obviously fragile masculinity but that night she'd questioned everything she thought she knew about him.

Of course, he'd apologised the next morning and she'd forgiven him. They were both stressed and there was no reason to let one pressure-fueled spat escalate into more than it needed to. Then those one-off spats became more and more common until they were the norm. If they weren't in silence, they were fighting.

They only found peace when they were fucking. Even that physicality wasn't what it once was, no longer the same slow, gentle love-making. Now it was always quick, desperate, his once soft kisses now left bruises and his whispers of sweet nothings had morphed into wordless grunts and moans.

Is that all this relationship was anymore? Physical.

Light flooded the dimly-lit bathroom, as he swung the door open carelessly. He looked almost taken back at the sight of her, his eyebrows raising a little, as though he hadn't expected to see her here- in her own house.

Then again, maybe it wasn't her house. Sure, she'd lived here for almost as long as they'd been together but it was never really her house. It was Kylian's house in Kylian's city, and she was here too.

He stared at her for a few seconds before smirking, "Hey." he mumbled, already stripping down to join her.

She sunk further down in the tub, allowing the thick layer of bubbles to give her back her modesty. Silently, she watched him, her lips a flat line, her eyes on his face, not his naked body. He wasn't looking back at her. He was too focused on hastily ripping of his trousers and his shirt.

Without hesitation or any more words exchanged, he climbed in the tub and she leant forward as he slipped behind her. She wanted to be held in his arms just one more time, to feel his body against hers. He positioned his legs on either side of her, his arms flopping over her shoulders, as he pulled her back into his chest. Resting his face on her shoulder, he let out a noise, somewhere between a contented hum and a whine.

She ignored him, turning her head to stare out of the window. The city's skyline was dark and at this time, the tower's lights were off. Now, it was just a dark silhouette against a dark horizon, only made visible by the bright light of the full moon.

"What are you sulking about?"

As he spoke, she could smell the alcohol on his breath and she almost wretched at the scent. Her voice was calm and steady, as she asked, "Where have you been?"

Her voice sounded like she had an innocent curiosity in the question as if she didn't already know the answer, or she was merely asking to make small talk.

"Oh, some of the team wanted to go out to celebrate the win."

He didn't lift his head from her shoulder, placing a soft kiss on the damp skin. He lied with such ease. Well, he hadn't entirely lied, just withheld some important elements of the truth. Maybe she'd have preferred it if he'd just lied to her. At least then he would have had to make a conscious effort to deceive her. No, this felt so much worse; he spoke with such ease, as though it was the whole truth, and maybe he too believed it. Maybe he believed that she didn't need to know about the girl in the red dress, just like he'd believed she didn't need a text back, or a kiss goodbye before he left the house this morning, or a goodnight before she fell asleep last night or the night before that or the night before that.

"And who was that girl?" she asked, her voice still chirpy, not a hint of bitterness showing in her tone.

"Huh?" he twisted his head, the side of it on her shoulder, gazing up at her face.

"The girl you were with. She was in a red dress, like the one I have. Blonde hair and-"

"Oh," he cut her off quickly, "she's one of Ousmane's friends, I think."

"You think?"

"Mhm, I don't really know. I didn't speak to her that much."

Now, that wasn't a half-truth, that was simply a lie.

"Oh, okay. Just 'cause you seemed really friendly with her."

He scoffed, lifting his head, his tone suddenly switching, "What, were you stalking me?"

"No, but you didn't reply to my texts and you came home seven hours after the match finished, so I wanted to make sure you weren't dead in some ditch."

"Of course, I wasn't. Can I not have a night out with my friends?"

"Yeah, that's fine but you didn't fucking text me back and the next thing I see you've got some random girl in your lap at the club and you don't even have the courtesy to tell me about it."

"It wasn't like that! Why would I come home and tell my girlfriend that some nobody had been coming onto me in the club?" he snapped.

"Because you were coming onto her too! Don't you think I deserved to be warned that people were going to post pictures of my boyfriend with someone else! It's fucking humiliating!"

She stood up and climbed out of the bath, wanting to get as far away from him as possible. She quickly grabbed her robe from where it hung and wrap it around herself. She sat on the little ottoman in the corner, hugging her arms around herself.

"What are you saying? You know I wouldn't cheat on you!"

He yelled the statement as though it were a fact. Maybe he believed it. He seemed to believe a lot of things. Maybe he just didn't think about her perspective much.

"No, I don't! What reason have you given me to trust you?"

His face fell into an expression of fury, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, Kylian!" she almost yelled and almost sighed, somewhere in the middle, "I don't know. What are we even doing this for?"

"You tell me! You're the one picking a fight for no reason!"

"No, not this just... why are we here? We keep fighting and I don't know what for."

He stood up, "What..."

"I'm not happy! You're not happy! What's the point!"

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he rushed over to her, "I'm happy, of course I am!"

"Well, I'm not." she murmured, standing up from the seat and heading for the bathroom door.

"What are you doing, where are you going?" he asked, panic setting over him.

"Away," she muttered, heading to the closet.

"No, you're not." he declared, chasing after her, "Look, baby, I'm sorry, okay?" Ignoring him, she began to change into some joggers and a hoodie. "Y/n, you're not leaving me."

"Why not? All we ever do is fight! There's no point in us being together if we make each other fucking miserable!"

"I told you, you make me happy! You make me happier than anyone else in the world!"

"Why don't you treat me like it then? Why don't you treat me like I'm worth anything? Like I'm a fucking human being!"

He was quiet, watching her as she grabbed a bag and started to toss clothes into it. "Y/n, I love you. I-"

"Do you, though? Really?"

"I do. Look I know I've been busy with work but you know how stressful my job is. I'm trying to be here for you and do my best for the team-"

"No, you're not. I know how hard you work but I have needs too. I can't keep doing this."

She dropped to her knees, zipping up the bag, packed with enough clothes for a few days. He stood in the doorway, blocking her exit as she tried to get her toothbrush from the bathroom.

As she stood in front of him, he took her hands in his, "Please, baby, I'll change. I'll do it for you, I swear."

"It's too late, Ky," she said, shoving past him. He didn't budge, "Kylian, get out of my way."

He clutched her hands as though his life depended on it, placing soft kisses on both of them, "I need you. You can't leave me."

"You should have thought about that before, shouldn't you?"

She shoved him out of the way and grabbed a few things from the bathroom before heading for the front door. He chased after her, his mind racing and his heart pumping a mile a minute in his chest. He swore it was working so hard he could hear his heartbeat in his ears- or was it the sound of her feet on the stairs?

"Y/n," God, her name sounded so right on his lips, he wanted to say her name forevermore, "she meant nothing. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have entertained her like that." Tears were forming in his hazel eyes, he watched her putting on her shoes, "Y/n, you can't leave me, I love you. I- I don't want to live without you. I don't want to be on my own."

"Kylian," she stood up and cupped his cheek. Her hand was so warm and fit so perfectly around his face, as though it was moulded just for it, "you know I'll always love you."

Covering her hand with his own, he shook his head, a single tear rolling down his cheek, "Don't do this to me, amour."

She hated seeing him like this: he barely ever cried. In all of their time together, she'd seen him cry maybe four times and it had never been because of her.

Her soft thumb wiped away the tear, "Don't cry. You'll be okay."

Then she was gone. The door was open and then it was closed. She was there and then she was gone.

He watched the space she'd been stood in for far too long, as though she'd swing the door open at any moment and declare that she'd had a sudden change of heart. But she wouldn't.

She was gone. It was over.

Masterlist

[akookminsupporter]

Jikook karma is real.

Everyone's seen the new photos circulating of Jimin and Jungkook, right? Right. Regardless of how we feel about those kinds of photos, the reality is that if they're posted somewhere, some KARMY will find them and spread them. But that's not the conversation right now.

Ever since Jin and eventually Hobi enlisted, those types of photos have been common to see in ARMY spaces, and personally, I rarely saw anyone complain about them. Until it was Jimin and Jungkook’s turn. There are photos and videos from Jin's graduation. I think there are also some from Hobi's graduation. There are videos and photos from Tae and Joon's graduation from different angles, and in general, the fandom was happy to see pictures and videos of those members. But when it came to Jimin and Jungkook, many "fans" got upset because they felt their privacy was being violated, or because we should only post photos they themselves shared, and who knows what else. Some people were angry because many fans reposted the photos that Jimin's dad and later Jungkook's brother posted. Some even had the audacity to be upset with Jimin's dad for posting pictures of his son, although I suppose the annoyance was about something else. The issue, as always, is Jimin and Jungkook together.

A few hours ago, new photos of Jimin and Jungkook started circulating. In one of them, they're near a podium with their arms around each other's shoulders, posing for a photo. At first, I think we all assumed they were taking a picture together, just the two of them, as always. At the same time, these photos were circulating; there were also some comments supposedly made by a soldier who was at the same training centre as them. The comments weren't that different from others we've read, but this one added that Jimin and Jungkook were always together, and well, pandemonium ensued.

From what I saw, some KARMY were upset, saying the photos were edited, the comments were false, and that a jikooker had made them up. This sentiment obviously spread to the international side of the fandom, and everyone seemed to be saying the same thing. Many jikookers received insults; some, I think, were reported, etc. The same old story. Until now.

It turns out the photos had been cropped, not edited. They were cropped to only show Jimin and Jungkook, and that particular photo that upset many is actually a group photo, and Jimin and Jungkook, for some reason, decided to pose for it in that way: together, with their arms around each other's shoulders. And this is where Jikook karma becomes real. Once again. Throughout the day, many said the photos were fake, edited, taken without permission. And it turns out they're part of an official army photo. And Jimin and Jungkook really posed that way.

For many of us, it's a matter of respect not to post photos of the guys in the army unless they or their family members with public social media accounts post them. Many of us don't even do it if they're official photos posted by the army. But for others, for many others, it's not about that. Not when it comes to photos of Jimin and Jungkook, at least. With photos of the other members, it seems there are no issues but when it comes to photos of Jimin and Jungkook the reaction is different. And Jikookers are of course, the bad guys.

Ever since they enlisted, the fandom, in general, has had problems with some fans posting photos any photo of Jimin and Jungkook, and their concern lies in the fact that practically in every photo, Jimin and Jungkook are together. Let's not kid ourselves. The same goes for the information that sometimes circulates about them; it's almost always mentioned that they are always together, supporting each other, etc. Obviously, that's the issue.

As I mentioned earlier, this problem doesn't seem to happen with the photos and information circulating about other members. I'm sure some do complain and disagree with it happening, but I haven't seen it reach the same level as when it involves Jimin and Jungkook.

This fandom, in general, has a problem with Jimin and Jungkook TOGETHER. These next 15 months will be miserable for them. And I sense that when the members finish their military service and resume group activities, it will be even worse.

Haters can say and do whatever they want, but that will NEVER change the fact that Jimin and Jungkook enlisted in the army together, enjoy being together, and the bond they share strengthens every day.

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Love Is A Four Letter Word: Taiju Shiba x Fem Reader WC: 4.2k TW: Angst, Arguing, Break-up, Stalkerish on Taiju's part, Hidden Pregnancy, Complications, Praying A/N: I got too invested in this one but I liked it! I had to look up a prayer because I didn't know any Christian prayers. I hope you enjoy!!! MINOR DNI 18+

“If you’re going to leave don’t think about coming back.”  Taiju's venomous words hit you deeply. The vein bulged from his forehead as he looked at you.

“I won’t” Your bag was already over your shoulder wiping your eyes as the tears escaped crashing down on your cheeks. “I can’t keep doing this with you. As many times as I tried to prove to myself how much I love you, it’s never enough for you..." you didn't know what to say or do anymore when he got into these moments it was too much to handle. "It’s best to end everything right now because at this rate I-.” you couldn't even finish what you were saying you looked at your hand removing the promise ring he gave you on your first anniversary. Placing it on the table near the door. You grabbed the handle to the door, a shaky breath escaping from your lips. You couldn't look back as your feet got closer to your car. it finally began to settle in when you began to drive off from the home you shared with him. Moments ago the heated argument turned sour.

Taiju watched the door close; he didn’t think you would leave this time. The sudden realization of something warm trickling down his fingers was his own blood, seeing the open wound on his knuckles. He started to look around to see broken glass fragments on the floor, the hole in the wall. An incident that was so small turned into something big. Things flew around when he couldn’t control himself. He hated himself; the only thing in his life that gave him some type of meaning was gone. With his own pride, he couldn't go after you.

Memories of the good times hitting him all at once from seeing your smiling face in the morning, to the way you laughed, or the way your fingers combed through his hair when his head was resting on your lap. Thinking you would be back in a few days when you both cooled off from the argument. The days had passed he hasn’t heard from you. Failed attempts over the phone you were serious this time. 5 years of being together from the time you both were in your teens now at the age of 21 splitting up.

Looking at the phone number that kept populating You couldn't hear his voice because you knew you would break down and go crawling back to him. Declining the call, you opened his contact scrolling down and pressing the block number. Staying at your friend’s home for the next few days as you were already looking for a place. “You’re really serious this time.” She spoke standing at the entrance of the doorway to the room.

“I can’t do it anymore…. Him acting like such a rabid beast where he can’t control himself. Too many close calls not anymore.”

“ I'm assuming your not going to even tell him at all?”

“It’s for the best… if he knew he would have me in the home all day and if he ever got mad where it’s taken to the max. I couldn’t forgive myself.” Looking that the small sonogram photo. It was going to be a surprise that night when you found out, letting him know you were going out for a few hours. It took longer than expected at the doctor's office than to grab some items at the store. The first thing he began to assume was you were with someone else.

Your friends felt her phone vibrate. Looking at the caller ID “It’s Taiju…. What do you want me to say?”

“Don’t tell him I’m here… just say I’m somewhere else.”

“You know he might show up here…” letting out a sigh she answered the phone “Hey Taiju...no she is not here” rolling her eyes, you could hear him on the phone speaking. “when I see her, I can tell her to call you, but you know I cannot force her to call you…" he spoke to her and must have said something to irk her nerve "Let me make it clear she is my friend an- “she looked at her phone “he just hung up on me… Look he might come over right now…He knows you’re here....Look my parents are out of their home for a few weeks why don't I have you go over there until you find a place? ”

The familiar home you were constantly at growing up. Countless sleepovers you endured in this home. Living like a carefree happy teenager now you hear as an adult avoiding your lover you knew since high school. ‘It still looks the same.’ you said placing your items down in the room she used to sleep.  

~~~~~~~~~

“If you're lying to me about her being here I will-” Taiju said before getting cut off.

“Or what Taiju? I told you she is not here. If she was here I wouldn’t have let you in.” your friend spoke in an annoyed tone. “She needs a break, Taiju let her be.” “Listen if you hear from her let me know, just tell her I want to talk to her?” Taiju was hoping to see you here. 

“I will let her know.”  Your friend opened the door to the hallway. Taiju knew you were there evidently you left a few items around that he knew were yours. He was wondering if she was really going to tell you to call him. He was becoming a bit annoyed at himself for how he was acting about wanting to speak to you. ‘If she wants to talk to me she knows how to find me.’ he said to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Six months had passed since he tried to reach out to you. When you found out about your pregnancy you were 2 months along. Now being 8 months pregnant you were close to the finish line. The apartment you were renting was a few miles away from your old childhood home. The countless nights of working just to get the items ready for the baby's arrival. You were looking at your computer, your eyes hurting as you spent hours working on the damn computer. The only good thing was you got to work from home. Turning off the computer you were finally done with the report. Your hands rest on the table as your palms rubbed your tired eyes. You felt the baby kick. “I know mommy needs to get some sleep.” your hand resting on your belly. Getting up you dragged yourself into your bedroom. Laying in the bed. You grew so accustomed to sleeping on the left side that you still favored your left side of the bed. 

Nights like this when it's late at night when you missed him the most. The soft words whispered in the night. The way his arms wrap around you making you feel safe. You couldn’t deny you missed the sex.  Then you began to think about if you stood with him. Would he have been happy? Would he have been ready to be a father? Would he love his child? The more you thought about it the more you felt emotional. Picking up your phone you just needed to hear his voice just once, maybe even try to tell him you were expecting a baby with him. You ended up changing your number in this time frame but are still not comfortable calling him on the new number. Placing your phone number in private you contemplated before hitting the call button. 

Taiju was just at the grand opening of one of his restaurants when he felt his phone vibrate. He was in his office grabbing an item when he saw a private number. “Hello?” when he answered the phone. You covered your mouth just the sound of his voice made your eyes welt up you couldn’t even talk. Taiju pauses for a moment hearing the faintest sniffle “____?”

He sat on his chair, his elbows resting on the desk. His voice was calmer knowing if he were to get upset you would just hang up “Come on babe.. I know it's you… Can you just say something?” 

‘I’m sorry I left… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I’m pregnant and it's your baby… I'm sorry I ignored you for all these months, and I’m sorry for calling all of a sudden like this…’ you thought to yourself those words couldn't come out of your mouth all you could say was.  “Taiju…. I’m sorry.” you brought the phone away from your ear “______ wait can we just.” as he was speaking you hung up the phone. Tauji looked at his phone, seeing the call disconnected. Just this call was giving him a sign that you didn’t give up on him or what you both had. He lit a cigarette looked at his phone as he took a puff then exhaled, he knew one person would know where you were at. It may be a bit stalkerish but he wanted to talk to you. The friend you went to in the beginning. 

A few days past you and your friend were having a seat in your living room. “Why would you call him?” she sighed. “You said you were done with him.” 

“It's hard to explain okay. I was with him for 5 years, he was there and protected me from a broken family. All the memories I have with him I just couldn’t forget them. I honestly tried so hard to but I can’t forget him.”

“I was there too, I know it was a screwed-up house hold for you… If you gave him that bit of hope you need to tell him. It was fine when you weren’t speaking to him but now this is a whole new ballpark. He is going to end up eventually finding out… you are due right around the corner. You don’t think he might see you out while you're pushing a stroller around?” 

“I get it okay… I just have a lot of stuff on my plate. “ you took a deep breath feeling a braxton hicks contraction. 

“You okay?” she asked, walking up to you.

“It's just the braxton contraction… I need to lie down for a moment.” She helped you to the couch. 

She could see the exhausted expression on your face. “Get some rest _______. I know you wanna keep going but it's not good for you and the baby… I need to head out right now. I wanted to drop by and see you… Call me if you need me to come right away.” She exited the apartment and began to make her way to the car. In his car, he saw her coming out of an apartment complex and driving off. Lighting a cigarette in his car, looking at the complex it was right here all along. He didn’t want to go there right after her. He waited for a few hours.

The night came along and you were settling down, you were just out the bath drying your hair when hearing the door knock. You weren’t expecting visitors at all, “who is it?” you called out

“It's me.” The familiar voice spoke. You froze for a moment and he found you quickly…. “_____ come on, open the door please?” 

Taking a deep breath, your hand opened the door. Slightly opening the door, Taiju was in  a suit standing there. “Tai what are you doing here?” asking him. “I want to talk… That's all.” He looked down at you only seeing your face. You were hesitant for a moment before opening the door. Taiju walked into the apartment, looking around the apartment. It was just simple, you just had everything you needed.  Closing the door you were hesitant to turn around to show him the secret you have kept from him.

“Taiju…. I can’t turn around until you promise me something…” taking a deep breath “you need to control yourself.. Can you do that for me?” asking him. 

“Yea…” 

The moment turning around each second felt like an eternity. When you were finally facing him. He's catching your swollen belly. Taiju continuously looked at your swollen belly then back at you. “This is why you wanted me calm…” he kept it together and did not go off as he promised to you moments ago. “Well I need a fucken explanation now.” Taiju brows furrowed at you. 

“I’m 8 months pregnant…”

“No shit I know that. But whose baby is it?” he asked, his eyes focused on yours.

“Of course, you would say something like that. Taiju the baby I’m carrying is yours. But will you even trust my word? You never seemed to trust me at all, always assuming things… If you don’t believe me, we can have the baby tested when they are born just to prove it.” you felt your hormones taking over more. You were angry by his words and for him to assume something like that.

He was holding his tongue back more than he wanted too but now you were carrying his child he couldn’t act like an animal. “Were you even planning on telling me or just continuing like I never existed in your life?”  you could hear the anger in his voice bubbling more as he talked. 

“After the baby was born. To be honest with you, I was scared about having the baby and telling you… After the fight and the mess I couldn’t put myself or the baby in danger. So I left…” “You think I would harm you or my unborn child if you told me you were pregnant? Do you really think I’m that much of a monster?”  placing his hands in his pocket.

Taiju began to remember the moment when he first told you he was going to always protect you. He saw your corrupted family and he was the one who saved you from them. All the pain and suffering you endured he didn’t want to ever put you through that again but there were times his own insecurities took over. He would overthink things along with hearing compliments from people on how pretty his girlfriend was or just talking to other people as you were making conversations. It fucked with him he just never wanted to lose you but he did. You could see he was thinking long and hard about everything he has done in his life. Almost consuming his own thoughts. “Can I ask you something then? if I told you I was pregnant what would you have done?” 

“Married you.” 

“Taiju marriage is not-.” 

Quickly cutting you off knowing you were going to assume something that wasn’t what he was thinking of “You don’t get it… No matter if you were pregnant or not I was still planning on asking you to marry me. You were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The person I wanted a family with… The goddamn person that gave my life any meaning in it. That day you left I thought you were coming back. I want to fix us so the next step in our relationship was to tie the knot but you never came back. The calls that went to voicemail then finally blocked. I just decided to stop until you called me a few days ago… finding out you're carrying my child right now.”

“It’s a lot. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” you rubbed your face letting a shallow breath out. 

“I would have been there with you the whole entire way to help you out instead of you busting your ass off like you have been doing.” he noticed the discoloration under your eyes from the lack of sleep. At this point he couldn’t even be mad; he was more concerned about you. “Come on, sit down.” 

You didn’t even disagree with him at this time you followed what he said. Sitting on the couch you laid back. You closed your eyes for a moment. Walking to the kitchen he brought you a glass of water. “Thank you…” you held it in your hand taking a small sip. It was weighing in on you now. Feeling the baby move around a bit more. Resting your hand on your swollen belly. 

He wanted to know more about his baby, at this point he was going to be a new father soon. “When is the baby due?” he asked.

“ July 20th a few days before your birthday…” taking a deep breath feeling another contraction. 

Raising his brow at you “what's going on?” he asked. 

“ I get braxton hicks contractions. They just have been more active lately.” 

“What caused them?” with very little knowledge on this subject  he didn’t know what they were. “A lot of things,, the doctor is aware she told me to make sure i rest, stay hydrated and do calming activities.”

It was no brainer he saw you were more stressed than usual. Taking a seat next to you, his hands resting on his knees as he looked over at your swollen belly. Where your hand was resting he could see the slight movement from the baby moving. He missed everything in this pregnancy, seeing the growth of his baby, being cheated out of going to the appointments, wanting to know the sex of the baby, prepping for the baby's arrival, his family knowing late as well.  “And you're doing the opposite…” he shook his head.

You noticed him still looking at your stomach. He wasn’t sure if he was able to touch you or you would tell him not to. “The baby is moving, do you want me to feel?”

His hand reached over, placing it where your hand was previously at. The sudden movements against his hand. A life he created with you he could feel with the palm of his hand. He knew he wanted to make this work with you. That small amount of hope still twinkled in his mind. He knew you like the back of his hand. You still loved him no matter what happened. This moment right now he began to think of what he needed to do. July 20th was in a couple of weeks.  “_____…. You don’t need to worry about anything anymore. The baby will have what they all need. I want you to come back. Things will change, I promise you that. Just come home,”

“Tai I have to thi—“ the sharp pain hitting your lower pelvis sitting up trying to catch your breath.  

“What happened.” He asked more alert seeing how you eyes closed tightly. 

“It’s just another brax con—“ you groaned and knocked the wind out of you. This was way stronger than any contraction you were feeling.  

Taiju knew this wasn't  right seeing the distress looked in your face. Scooping you in his arms he carried you to the car. The first thing he did was to take you to the hospital.  The small trickle of something between your thighs “no no no .” You began to freak out more. “ it’s too early. Tai, it's too early.” Feeling the contraction coming again stronger.

“______ you need to relax.” He was trying to rush as quickly as possible to the hospital.  “Breath” he didn't know what else to say just breath.

Taiju parked the car. He rushed to get you out seeing how your bottoms were wet. The staff at the hospital quickly got you into the room after hearing the man who was carrying you in his arm shouting for help threatening the staff that if they didn’t get you in a room quickly he was going to raise hell. Hook you up to the monitor and they began to monitor the baby’s heart rate. They notified your doctor about you being admitted for early labor. While waiting for her to arrive the on-call doctor performed the exam. “ right now the contractions you feel were true labor contractions and since your water broke while in the car. Looking at your chart it was recommended to take it easy your last trimester.” 

“She hasn’t.” Taiju spoke looking at you then back at the doctor.

“Being 35 weeks and going into labor there’s a chance the baby can come out fine but then there’s a chance of health risk as well. We can only hope for the best right now. Checking your cervix right now you are about 6cm dilated. It could take up to a few more hours as well before giving birth. We are going to check on you in about an hour.” She said she walked out of the room.

You felt another contraction coming in strong. This was your fault you kept thinking. If I would have just taken it easy I wouldn’t be in this bed. Covering your eyes feeling emotionally overwhelmed. I could have prevented this all. 

He was right next to you. The only thing he could do at this time is try and calm you down. At this time he sounded like a broke record “_____” he responded he removed his hands from your face he could see the tears falling. With both his thumbs wiping them away. “I want you to stop blaming yourself… this is going to cause stress to you and our baby.” He said “ I’m not going to leave your side.”

Sniffling you nodded. The only matter of seconds you could feel his lips pressing against his forehead.  It seemed to be the only thing to help relax you for a bit. You needed him here you couldn't do this yourself.

The countless hours of the pain of labor, you didn’t expect Taiju to be this calm. He was the one to try and calm you down. “I can't do this.” You cried out in pain. 

“I need one more push.”  The doctor spoke. At this point you wanted to tell the doctor off but knowing it would just be the hormones talking. 

Throwing your head back on the pillow. Your head turned to Taiju. “_____ one more push. The baby is almost out.” Brushed the strand away from your face. You nodded at him.

The final push the baby was brought into this world. she was brought into the world but anticipating the cries it was silent. You couldn't hear anything.

“Tai” trying to catch your breath, your vision was a bit blurry “she is not crying. Why isn’t she crying?”  You were trying to be coherent as much as possible. 

Taiju watched the nurses come in one by one as they brought the incubator in trying to clean her up. “What’s happening?”

“Her lungs haven’t fully developed, we need to help her breath.” One of the nurses spoke calmly seeing that this situation was becoming critical. 

Taiju only took his eyes off of you for a second when speaking to the nurses. “Tai..” you called out you felt your vision became more tunneled. 

Turning around he walked closer to the bed. His hand cupping your cheeks “_______….______” he couldn’t get a response, your eyes were lowered.  “ You need to stay up. _______ you got to stay up.” He was freaking out. Hearing the monitor going off for you,  more of the nurses came in everything was  happening so fast “______! What’s going on what’s happening.” He was asking in a louder tone. 

“Sir, we need you to calm down.” The nurses spoke

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out. Taiju felt himself becoming more impatient as it took security along with some of the doctors to explain what was happening. He didn't want to be kicked out of the hospital. All he could do was wait, people haven’t heard from him. Any call he didn’t pick up. 

Hours had passed before you woke up. Your body is completely sore. Your eyelids felt swollen, “your up.”

Turning your head to the side “how is the baby?” Asking him.

“She is being monitored right now… you passed out a few moments after your blood pressure dropped extremely low.” Taiju closed his eyes for that moment. He felt fear he had flashbacks of his mother passing away in the hospital and a fear that he could have been taken away along with his daughter. “I thought I lost you both at that moment… I prayed to god to keep you both here with me. I don’t ever want to lose you both.”  The blank expression on his face spoke to you.

~~~~~~ 

When you were still passed out the nurses had you stable. They offered to show him where his daughter was. Walking into the NICU he saw multiple babies with different issues going on. When his eyes laid on his daughter he saw how tiny she was  he couldn’t pry his eyes away. She was hooked to so many wires as he watched her tiny chest rise up and down.  He fell in love instantly.  The small little opening where his hands was able to fit his child’s skin was so fragile. He felt the need to pray for her strength. “God, please give my baby all that is required for a good way of life and for a good way of living. Please let this child bring joy and pride to me and my family. I will give all that is needed to this child. And help me to do my best to guard and protect my baby for her lifetime. Amen” 

~~~~~~

You could see the hurt in his face without him even speaking about it. Him being here the whole entire time worried about you and the baby showed he was serious about wanting to fix things... “ you won’t lose us…. I promise. Tai.”  you hand rested on top of his. He just needed to hear those words. His head resting in the bed, your fingers combing through his hair.   

The baby spent two weeks in the hospital until she was cleared to come home. It was all last minute but he managed to turn one of his rooms into the nursery creating a sea theme. 

Taiju constantly cradled his daughter in his arms, soothing her fussiness she began to doze off. He didn’t mind the crying as the doctors encouraged it to help develop her lungs to become stronger. “Is she okay?” Walking into the dimly lit room of the nursery.  You both didn't get much sleep. When you could see how much he loved his daughter.

“She is fine.” Taiju finger caressing her supple cheek. Making your way towards him. He held his daughter with one hand and his other, placing it on your lower back. Kissing your temple. “She is going to have visitors this week.  More people want to meet her.”

“She is already loved by many.” Softly speaking “let’s have her rest we can held back to bed.” 

Taiju gently kissed his child’s forehead, placing her on the crib. Entering the room where you both were, you were back in the position before the baby woke up. His hands wrapped around you. Your head resting on his upper arm. He looked down at you. Noticing the ring that you left with him was back on your finger. “I love you _____ .”

"I love you too tai.” Your hands resting on his cheek leaning in pressing your lips against his. You snuggled into him close once more before your eyes close.

@satanlovesusall666

Intersted in joining the taglist please fill out form below to get notification of your favorite character when they are being posted! Link here ->taglist

[roosterforme]

A Love You Don't Find Everyday Part 17 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You talk to Bradley, and he assures you that he'll be home in time for the wedding in one piece, with Jake in tow. When Bradley is back on land, you let him in on your little secret, and he has a whole new mission in mind: getting his fill of you, while keeping you filled with him.

Warnings: Smut, angst, fluff, and swearing

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Check out my masterlist for more!

Bradley sat up in the infirmary all night. He was bruised and sore all over, and it had taken him hours to get warmed up again. But he was still doing a bit better than Jake at the moment. 

It was pretty clear that Jake had a concussion and lacerations on his forehead, most likely from the canopy hitting him while Bradley tried to help him open it. But the medical staff had assured Bradley that he would be fine once he rested. And perhaps the best part was that he was going to be allowed to facetime with you in a few hours. Turns out that when you save someone's life, the Admirals will let you do pretty much anything you want. 

"Bradshaw," Jake mumbled, and Bradley couldn't help but smile from the chair next to the bed.

"How you feeling, Bagman?" Bradley asked, his voice still raw from the punishment he'd put his lungs through a few hours ago.

"I feel great," Jake replied, pushing himself up on his elbows. "Other than the fact that I want to throw up every time I move. What the hell happened?"

Bradley shrugged. "I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Lost both engines," Jake drawled with his eyes closed. "And then skipped the damn runway." He opened his eyes and looked at Bradley. "Thank you."

"Don't." Bradley shook his head. "Do not thank me. If anything, I owed you one. Besides, I was firmly instructed to make sure I bring you back home with me."

Jake tried to laugh, but it must have caused him pain by the way he winced. Then he reached up to his forehead which now had a neat row of stitches. "I'm going to have a fucking scar across my face. Do you have any idea how pretty I am?"

"Were," Bradley replied with an eye roll. "You should try to rest." 

"Wake me up when you facetime Angel. I want to ask her a few questions about her bachelorette party."

--------------------

You had just finished hanging up the photo collage you made out of your parents' wedding photos as well as some of Goose and Carole on their big day. You had left some spots open in the middle, ready for your own photos to be added once you had them back. It was quirky and fun, and it looked perfect hanging above the piano.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you almost screamed. It was unlikely your parents were calling you back since you just talked to them, so you were praying it was Bradley. Restricted Facetime Caller.

You answered it, and your screen was immediately filled with Bradley's face.

"Roo!" you gushed dropping into one of the dining room chairs. "I miss you!"

"Baby Girl." His voice was raspier than usual, and it almost sounded like he was sick. You were about to ask him what was wrong when he started talking again. "I'm just going to cut to the chase here. Jake got injured."

"What?" you gasped. "What happened? How bad?" 

"He's fine, promise. He's actually right here. Mind if he joins us?"

Your heart was absolutely pounding. Initially, your mind went to teasing Bradley over facetime, maybe letting him see your tattoo.

"Put him on!" you said, and a second later, Bradley was joined in the frame by Jake who had stitches on his forehead. "What is going on?"

Both men shared a look before turning back to you. "Happened during the mission. Just a little cut, Angel. Nothing to worry about," Jake promised.

You sighed and ran your hands along your face. 

"There's something a lot more pressing we need to discuss," he added, and you noticed Bradley's eyes got a little wide. "Do you want strippers for your bachelorette party?"

You were suddenly so confused now, you thought maybe you were the one with the head injury. "Bachelorette party? Roo...did you tell him?" you gasped. If Bradley let it slip that you were getting married this month, you were going to scream.

He cleared his throat loudly. "Yes, Jake knows we are eloping in Mexico next month."

You just stared at both of them. "Are we?" you asked cautiously. 

"We are," Bradley replied with a firm nod. You wanted to start laughing, but Jake was already rattling off plans for a party for you and one for Bradley. He was either severely concussed, and you were supposed to be playing along, or Bradley lied to him about your wedding plans. Either way, you nodded and agreed with everything he was saying while Bradley just looked exasperated. 

"So, a stripper?" Jake asked. "I know a guy." You just gave a vague answer, not sure about how you were supposed to be responding. Bradley was cradling his forehead in his hand now. "Rooster said he doesn't want a stripper. But I kind of want him to have a stripper so at least everyone else can enjoy their night."

"I don't want a stripper," Bradley said firmly to Jake. Then he turned to you and said, "I really don't."

You just shrugged and smirked. "You can get me one Jake, sounds fun."

Bradley rolled his eyes as Jake asked, "Male or female?"

"Mmm, surprise me," you replied. "Jake, you mind if I talk to Bradley for a sec? I'm glad you're okay, but you look like you could use some rest."

"Sure, Angel," he said as you told him you missed him too and couldn't wait to see him.

Bradley watched him walk away, and when he looked back at the screen with a wary expression, you waited for him to speak first.

"Sweetheart. Listen. I kind of fucked up, but he kept bugging me about a wedding date, so I lied and made up some story about Mexico."

You were smiling, and then you started laughing, and then Bradley joined in as well. "So he's really on this bachelor party weekend? And strippers? Not just because it looks like he hit his head?"

Bradley shook his head. "He's determined to plan the party of your dreams. So you might as well just tell him what you want, Baby Girl."

You rolled your eyes. "Sounds like I'm getting a stripper," you muttered. "How did he get hurt anyway? Wait- you're okay, right?" you asked, suddenly wondering why Bradley looked so nervous. 

"I'm perfectly fine. Promise. Can we talk more about this when I'm back home?"

You perked up right away. "When will that be, Roo?" 

"I'll send you the flight information as soon as I have it."

"Just make sure it's before the 28th."

"Most important day of my life. Wouldn't miss it."

--------------------------

When you got to work on the Thursday before Thanksgiving, Bickel called you to his office. You were practically vibrating with excitement. You hadn't actually spoken to Bradley or Jake again, but both of them had emailed you information about their return flight. In twelve hours, you'd be picking them up from the airport. 

"Yes, sir?" you asked, knocking on your boss's open office door. 

He motioned for you to close the door and then offered you a donut. You took a seat with a chocolate glazed in one hand and waited until he selected one from the box as well. When he took a few bites before he said anything, you started to get a little nervous. 

"You have all those vacation days coming up," he said before popping the last of his strawberry donut into his mouth.

"Yes, sir," you replied. "December first through ninth." 

Your heart was pounding. He had already signed off on your honeymoon dates without any questions asked. Was he going to try to give you a hard time about it now? Bradley had had no issues with getting his vacation approved, because Maverick already knew what it was for.

Bickel cleared his throat and opened his desk drawer. "I know you didn't explicitly say, and I'm not going to explicitly ask, but I am going to assume that you are taking the time off to get married. Maybe elope like Evelyn and I did."

Your lips parted, wanting to deny your plans. But you couldn't. You just watched him pull an envelope out of his desk before closing the drawer softly. "This is for you. A wedding gift." He handed you the envelope and asked, "Am I completely off base here?"

You just shook your head and smiled at him. "No, sir."

"Well, congratulations. I'm away next week, so I won't see you until you get back from wherever you're going. Enjoy your time off, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, sir." You stood to leave and he stood too, shaking your hand. 

"Also, Cat Coleman accepted that open position with us. Her first day of work will be your first day back," he informed you. "Take a donut for the road. You're dismissed."

You nibbled on a cream filled donut as you made your way back to your office. Cat Coleman would be starting next month. If she was as good as she claimed to be, that should free up some more time in your schedule to work on research projects with your boss. Sonya was great, but now you were always going to be a little wary of transfers from Annapolis.

By the time you met Phoenix for lunch, you were on a sugar and caffeine high, so you got a salad and some water. 

"Please don't tell me you're on some wedding diet?" she commented. "Your dress already fits you perfectly."

"Listen, I've been subsiding on donuts and coffee. My body wanted me to eat something green." 

When you started eating your salad, Phoenix grinned at you from across the table. "I got an email from Jake, and he told me that he knows when and where you're getting married, because apparently he weasled it out of Rooster. And that your bachelorette party is on Saturday."

"I'm sorry, what? My bachelorette party is in two days?"

"Yeah," she added with a smirk. "And Bradley's bachelor party is tomorrow night."

"Jake is a nightmare," you muttered. "Listen, I don't even need a party."

"Yes, you do. And I'm going to make sure you get drunk, and then we can really have a heart to heart about exactly what it means to marry my best friend." Nat gave you a hard look and pointed at you with her fork. "No give backs. No exchanges. No breaking his heart in any way. He's going to moon over you for the rest of his life, so I better see some mutual pining, even when he's old and fat. Got it?" she asked with a laugh, unable to keep a straight face.

You thought about Bradley's cute tummy he acquired after he was injured and watching reality TV for weeks on end. "Got it," you told her. "Sounds like a breeze."

------------------------

When their flight touched down in San Diego, Bradley was practically shoving Jake off the airplane to get to you as quickly as possible. There was barely a week until the wedding, and he missed you so much. 

"Take it easy," Jake grumbled, and Bradley took a deep breath. He knew Jake had been getting continuous headaches since he skidded off the aircraft carrier and into the ocean. And he also knew that you and Jake were for some reason good friends, so he slowed his pace down and clenched his jaw.

"She said she would be waiting by our baggage claim carousel," Bradley said, winding through the crowd. Their flight had been delayed, and it was after nine in the evening, and Bradley wanted to get you home, because you had to work in the morning. He had the day off tomorrow, and Jake was insisting on throwing him a bachelor party that he didn't even want tomorrow night. But Bradley wasn't going to fight him on it; it wasn't worth the effort on his part.

"There she is," Bradley and Jake said in unison, and Bradley took off in your direction. You hadn't spotted them yet as you were looking up at the flight arrivals screen. God, you were beautiful, and in a week you'd be wearing an additional ring and calling him your husband.

"Baby Girl," he called out, and you spun to face him, your dress kind of swirling around your thighs. Without a word, you launched yourself into his arms, and Bradley held you tight. 

"You were gone more than two weeks," you said against his neck with a laugh. "It was fifteen days. I'm going to complain to Mav."

Bradley kissed your lips and then pressed his forehead to yours. "But I'm back. In time for our wedding."

You giggled and kissed him again, but a second after that, you were abandoning him to hug Jake and make a fuss over his stitches. Bradley rolled his eyes and started looking for the duffles on the carousel. He and Jake had decided to spare you the details of his crash landing and the subsequent spur of the moment rescue mission. It didn't matter. They were both home now. 

"No, I'm fine, Angel. Just need to get the stitches removed next week. You ready for your bachelorette party?" Jake asked you, and Bradley watched you shake your head. 

"If you insist."

A few minutes later, Bradley was carrying both duffle bags out to his Bronco, hot on your heels as you guided Jake along. It was obvious that he desperately needed to get home and get some rest. After you helped Jake get in the backseat, Bradley buckled you in the passenger seat and kissed you one time, running his fingers up your thigh and making you laugh. 

"Take me home," you whispered, and soon Bradley was zipping down the highway and dropping Jake off. 

Bradley jumped out to help him with his bag, and you climbed out to give Jake a hug. But as soon as Jake was inside, Bradley scooped you up again and hauled you back to the Bronco.

"I'm going to take you home and do unspeakable things to you," he whispered, and you started laughing. 

"Like what? I want details," you told him as he buckled you in once more. 

Bradley shook his head and sighed. "I'm going to kiss you and love you forever. You're not gonna know what to do with yourself."

"Sounds filthy," you told him before he closed the door and ran around to the driver's side. 

"It will be," he said, pulling away from the curb. And after he merged back onto the highway, Bradley let his hand rest on your bare knee while he drove. "We could make it a little filthy now if you want."

You very subtly spread your legs a bit wider for him, and Bradley groaned softly. He ran his fingers up and down the inside of your left thigh for a minute, listening to your breathing grow deeper. 

"Your skin is so soft," he whispered over the playlist you had selected on his phone. "Everywhere." He eased his middle finger inside your underwear and stroked you along your slit. "Especially here."

"Bradley," you gasped when he slipped his long finger down to your opening and started to fuck you with it while he drove. After a few steady strokes, Bradley added his index finger and let you ride him. 

Your head was tipped back against the headrest, and when your lips parted, whining his name, Bradley thought you were about to unleash the dirty talk. But it was a different kind of dirty talk than he was used to. 

"How would you feel if I told you I stopped taking my birth control?" 

Bradley's hand froze, his fingers buried deep inside your pussy. He felt you clench softly around him once, and he stroked you slowly in response. Finally, your words and their meaning really took root in his mind.

"I...wait. Is that hypothetical?" he asked, trying to keep control of the steering wheel while his heart pounded. 

You pulled his hand out of your panties and raised his fingers to your lips. And just before you started sucking on them, you said, "Not hypothetical. I've been off the pill for a few days."

Bradley groaned, his cock going from semi erect to painfully hard in an instant. And then his fingers were in your mouth. He slowed down and exited the highway, turning right off the ramp and heading toward the beaches. 

"Where are we going?" you managed to ask, licking between his fingers before he pulled his hand away to park at a quiet overlook. Bradley was unbuckling his seatbelt and then yours and reaching for you. 

"Showing you how much I love the idea of having unprotected sex with you." 

You giggled. "I thought you might like that." He pulled you against him as you crawled across the seat toward him, and then Bradley was gone. Just fully gone in the fantasy of getting you pregnant.

Bradley eased you back along the seat, gently pulling your dress up to expose your tummy. He kissed you there, running his lips along the top of your underwear and licking your tattoo. "We only have a week to work with, Baby Girl, but maybe I can get you pregnant before our wedding?"

You moaned softly, and his hands were unzipping his jeans immediately. He watched you scramble to get your underwear off and toss them on the floor. 

"Oh, you like that idea, too?" he asked, palming his length and pushing himself inside you with one fluid stroke. He fucked you hard and slow, your body cradling his. He kissed your lips and your jaw and your chest, nipping and sucking so you would remember this tomorrow and the next day. "You want me to fuck you until I get you pregnant?"

"Yes," you hissed, tugging on his hair.

He made a noise so deep and needy it had you gaping at him. "I'm going to keep you full all the time now. Full of my cock and my cum. Until you've got a baby growing. Then I'm still going to fuck you so good, Sweetheart. You'll never have to worry about that."

Your words were incomprehensible as Bradley rammed into you over and over again, his lips and tongue sucking along the tops of your breasts. He'd get you all big and swollen, fuck you until you were pregnant with his baby. Make love to you until you once again exceeded all expectations he had for his life. 

"Daddy," you whispered, and Bradley looked at your perfect face. "Come on, Daddy. You can do it," you whispered, licking those pretty lips and whining. "You'll be the best Daddy."

"I'm your Daddy, Baby Girl," he growled, fucking you hard until your nipples were peeking out the top of your dress. Railing you until the slap of his body against yours was as loud as your whining. Your fingers were all wrapped up in his hair, and you guided his lips down to yours. 

The kisses were filthy now, all tongue and dirty talk, and then Bradley was spilling his hot cum inside you, fucking it deeper. He was still softly stroking and pinching your clit, making your body milk every drop out of him as you came too. You squeezed his cock until the sensation had him dizzy. 

His sweaty forehead was pressed to yours as your lips danced along his every time you whispered Daddy. 

Bradley finally glanced up, relieved to find the area where he had parked was still empty. You were underneath him, chewing on your lip and coming down from your high. As his cock grew soft inside you, Bradley could feel his cum start to drip down your ass, and you lifted your head a little bit.

"Roo. We're going to mess up the upholstery."

Bradley laughed and kissed the beautiful curve of your cheek. "I fucking love you so much." Then he used your discarded underwear to carefully collect your joint cum before it could make too much of a mess. "You always take care of everything. Me, Tramp, the Bronco. Can't wait to make you a mommy."

---------------------------

When you got home, Bradley paused in front of the collage you made and hung over his piano. "What's this?"

"Your wedding gift. Or one of them."

He pulled you close to his side. "I thought maybe the birth control announcement was my wedding gift?"

"It was one of them," you said with a shrug.

"Are there any more?" he asked, running his fingers along the frame and looking at the selection of happy wedding photos you had chosen. 

"Yes. Two more wedding gifts. And you'll like both of them." 

"I didn't get you anything," he told you with a furrowed brow. 

You looked up into his brown eyes and at his hair, all mussed from your fingers running through it. 

"Yes, you did," you insisted, leading him to the bedroom. You helped Bradley unpack his bag while he played with Tramp. The dog was absolutely obsessed with him; you were sure he didn't miss you this much when you had been away in Annapolis. 

"Good boy," Bradley said, playfully wrestling with him on the floor. "I'll take you for a nice long walk tomorrow when Mommy's at work."

You should have known he'd be like this now, but as soon as Bradley called you Mommy, he was on you again. 

"I missed you," he whispered, pushing your cum streaked dress up over your butt and running his fingers along your back. 

When you bent over the bed for him and felt him tease his fingers along your slit, you muttered, "I should have known. Now I'll never get anything done, because you're going to be on me day and night."

"You got that right."

But this time, he was slow and methodical, getting you off with his fingers on your clit and his lips on your neck. "I'm going to fill you up again and again. And you'll take every bit of me deep in that sweet pussy until I knock you up."

Those words delivered in that raspy voice were going to make you wild every single time. 

"Bradley?" you mumbled as he pressed himself down against your back, spent but still inside you.

"Yes, my love?" he asked, his mustache brushing your ear and making you smile. 

"What's the plan for your bachelor party tomorrow night?"

Bradley groaned and withdrew his cock, using his fingers to halt his cum from dripping out of you. It was like he was pampering your body in a brand new way, massaging you to keep it inside your pussy. 

"I have no idea. I don't even want to do anything except get a few drinks at the Hard Deck and then come back home. But there will probably be strippers or hot air balloons or clowns or some shit."

He finally eased his hand away from your body, and now you were beyond exhausted. "Listen," you said with a laugh, "that all sounds fine, as long as it's not a clown stripper in a hot air balloon."

"Please don't give Jake any ideas."

"I won't. As long as you let me change into your shirt and fall asleep on you," you said, digging around in your nightstand for your new charm. Bradley helped you add it to your necklace chain, and then he was helping you get ready for bed.

-----------------------

The man wants to be a Daddy in every sense of the word. And letting Jake plan the parties seems like a terrible mistake.

PART 18

@mak-32

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@callsigndiamond

@harper1666

@throwinsauce

@beebslebobs

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@monte-carlando

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@apparently-sunshine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@topgunbb

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@callsign-jupiter

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@andycanbeemotional

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@tallyovie

@shanimallina87

@starlightstories

@teddyluvs2sing

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@lilyevanswhore

@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@hecate-steps-on-me

@xoxabs88xox

[sissyisawitch]

You're Losing Me

Relationship: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

Summary: After seven years of relationship, MC feels neglected by Sebastian when he's been spending too much time at work.

Word Count: ~3k

Author's Note: So Taylor Swift finally released You're Losing Me a few days ago, and in honour of my favourite song of hers, I wanted to write a short story based on it. Also, this is the very first one shot I've ever written, so if anyone ever reads this, I hope it's not too bad and that you'll enjoy it.

Warnings: Angst with no happy ending If you've listened to the song, you know what I'm talking about.

MC was sitting alone in the dimly lit living room of her and Sebastian’s flat in London. She had been waiting in the same place for almost two hours, dressed in a long, elegant lace dress. Sebastian had promised to pick her up on his way home from work to take her to the restaurant to ‘celebrate a special occasion’. But he was almost two hours late.

Just like every day.

Weary of waiting without doing anything, MC stood up and found herself drawn to an old framed photograph resting on top of the mantelpiece.

The faded image depicted Sebastian and her in the early days of their relationship. They had been together for just over a year, recently graduated from Hogwarts, and had just finished moving in together. In the picture, MC was grinning and waving at Anne who was taking the photo, while Sebastian only had eyes for his girlfriend and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, clinging to her waist. Their smiles were genuine, and their eyes sparkled with the innocence of young love. It was a time when laughter flowed effortlessly, and every shared glance held the promise of a bright future.

This picture had been taken in front of the same fireplace, where MC was now standing alone. The slightest noise she made echoed through the empty flat.

As she traced her fingers over the photograph, a wave of nostalgia washed over her, bringing both warmth and sorrow. MC could not help but notice the drastic contrast between the joy reflected in that frozen moment, and the current state of their relationship. Whereas at the very beginning, Sebastian had always been by her side and found it hard to part with her, he now had little time for her, preferring to devote his entire days and weeks to his job as a researcher for the Ministry. The smiles that once came so easily had become strained, and the sparkle in his eyes had dimmed.

The passage of time had woven complexities into the fabric of their connection, and the former carefree happiness seemed like a distant memory. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she pondered the journey they had taken, acknowledging the inevitable changes that had altered the landscape of their once-unblemished love story. The photograph became a poignant reminder of the bittersweet nature of time and the inevitable evolution of their relationship.

Nothing had gone according to plan.

Their original plan was to get married soon after leaving school, and then start a family together.

But Sebastian had wanted to put off the idea of marriage until they had found a home together. When they did find somewhere to live, he wanted to wait until he had more money to support them both, even though MC had a job of her own. Then, once he had enough money, he wanted to wait for his career to develop, and for him to climb higher up the social ladder.

Long story short, Sebastian always wanted more, and therefore still had not proposed to MC in the seven years of their relationship.

Lately, MC had been coming home to an empty flat, sleeping in a cold bed, and spending her weekends alone, with Sebastian becoming increasingly more obsessed with his work. MC, in her attempt to be the bravest soldier, had not made any remark to Sebastian about it. She had sacrificed pieces of herself, bleeding emotionally in secret to keep their relationship intact. Instead, she spent many evenings sitting in the dark, wondering if it was time, if their relationship had finally come to a dead end.

At this point, the only cure for their couple would be for Sebastian to propose.

MC remembered Poppy's words. When the Hufflepuff had come to visit her earlier in the day, she had told her that this impromptu dinner at the restaurant was suspicious, that he was bound to propose. He had asked her to wear her best dress, after all. Besides, it would explain why he had been even more absent than usual in recent weeks; he had certainly been busy planning the perfect proposal.

Once her friend had sown the seeds of doubt in her mind, MC could not resist the urge to rummage through Sebastian’s belongings. In the drawer of his bedside table, she eventually found a jewellery order form, with a red stamp reading ‘paid and delivered’ across it.

All of MC’s doubts had vanished. He was going to propose to her this evening, and she had put her glad rags on for the occasion.

“MC! I’m home!” She heard Sebastian call from the doorway. “Are you ready to go?”

**********

After a delicious dinner at a fancy restaurant of Diagon Alley, the couple indulged in their dessert. MC’s eyes sparkled with excitement, her mind racing with thoughts of a romantic proposal. She anticipated the moment when he would make a magnificent declaration of everlasting love to her, get down on one knee and take out the beautiful engagement ring he had chosen specifically for her.

As Sebastian poured them both champagne, he cleared his throat, “So, as you know, I've brought you here to celebrate a special occasion.”

“Yes?” She grinned at him, more ready than ever for what was going to happen next.

“Well brace yourself, because I have been promoted! You're looking at the new head of the Ministry’s research department.” He announced with a smile of professional triumph.

An amalgam of surprise and disappointment replaced MC’s initial beaming smile.

“That's wonderful news, honey…” MC managed to reply, trying to mask her unmet expectations with a supportive tone.

She had imagined this evening to be the oh-so-awaited milestone in their relationship, a step towards a shared future. Instead, Sebastian was excitedly explaining to her that he will be dedicating even more time to his career, and be even less present for her.

“It was Alcamene, the department secretary, who helped me get this promotion. Her uncle is in a powerful position at the Ministry, and she spoke to him about me. It was really nice of her, so I bought her a necklace to thank her.”

The champagne lost its sparkle as the weight of his words sank in. MC had not been given the declaration she had so longed to hear. Instead, she had received a proclamation of increasing separation. Added to this heartbreak, was the gut-wrenching betrayal that Sebastian had given a piece of jewellery to another woman, when he had not bought her one for years.

If hell was a place on earth, MC was right in the middle of it.

“Couldn't you have asked Ominis?” She asked bitterly, and Sebastian only shrugged nonchalantly.

“I didn't want to bother him. I'm already asking too much from this bloke.” He chuckled.

“Right.” She took a sip of champagne, but the taste lingered on her tongue with a hint of unfulfilled expectations, and the realisation that the gulf between them was about to widen even further. “So, in practical terms, now that you've been promoted, what more are you gonna do?”

“I'm going to be in charge of planning all the research. For my first project, I wanted to do things on a grand scale, so we're going to go in search of a stone that's rumoured to be able to cure any illness or curse. Me and the team are going on a five-month expedition to Estonia.”

MC nearly spat out her champagne, “I’m sorry, what? You’re going to be away for five months? And in Estonia?”

“I know it seems like a long time, but don't worry, time will fly by in the blink of an eye. I'll be back before you know it.” He flashed her a comforting smile that did nothing to reassure the girl.

“Is this expedition really necessary?” She asked, begging him between the lines not to leave, not to abandon her.

“You know it's a subject that matters a lot to me. This stone could help so many people, especially Anne.”

“But Anne's condition has stabilised thanks to my ancient magic.”

Sebastian let out a heavy sigh, “Maybe, but I’m sick and tired of you having to visit her every week to put her out of her misery. The curse is still present in her body, and your ancient magic is clearly not a long-term solution.”

MC found herself unable to form the response he was waiting for. She was too busy imagining her near future, where she would wake up alone every morning, make coffee for just one person, have no one to kiss or hug, and come home to an empty flat at night to lie in a cold bed. In the end, she realised, it would not be much different from now. There would just be a thousand miles separating them, and it would last longer than usual.

Her glazed over eyes reflected her quiet resignation. Deep down, she understood that convincing him to prioritise their relationship over his career ambitions – and especially a remedy for his twin sister – would be futile. After all the means he had used to try to save Anne – from a Shrivelfig to losing himself to the Dark Arts – it was obvious that he would never stop, not until she was entirely out of danger.

“You could be a bit more enthusiastic for me, MC. I'm finally going to do something that counts, that could make history, and here you are sulking.” Sebastian threw his napkin on the table in annoyance.

“Let’s go home. I’m tired.”

**********

The night air was crisp as MC and Sebastian returned from the restaurant, in complete silence, the remnants of their dinner conversation lingering uncomfortably in the space between them. As they stepped through the front door of their flat, the air became thick with loss and indecision.

As they stood in the living room, near the fireplace, MC took a deep breath and turned to face Sebastian, her eyes searching his familiar chestnut ones for a connection that had eluded them for far too long.

“Sebastian…” She started, her voice steady but tinged with vulnerability. “Did you have another question for me this evening?”

Sebastian frowned in incomprehension, “No… Why?”

“Nothing, forget it.” She glared at Sebastian with storms in her eyes.

But he unfortunately remained oblivious to the dying embers of their love, “No, tell me, because you’ve been acting strange tonight. I don't understand.”

She scoffed bitterly, “I know you don’t.”

“Love… Talk to me, please.” He approached her slowly, as if trying to tame a frightened little animal, and then reached out to cup her face in his hands, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

For a moment, MC leant into his touch, feeling as if she were in the presence of the old Sebastian, the one who cherished and cared for her, a presence she missed agonisingly now. She lifted her gaze to look at him, believing that the man she absolutely adored had returned, but when she saw that the flame in his eyes was still extinguished, she was quickly brought back to reality, and reluctantly pushed him away.

MC, her heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words, was overcome by a surge of courage, “When are you going to marry me, Sebastian?”

“Soon, baby. I promise.”

“You’ve been saying that for years…” She shook her head in disbelief, as if she were trying to push away the terrifying thoughts that perhaps she simply was not enough for him. “You know… I’d understand if you didn’t want to marry. I wouldn’t either. I’m just some boring people pleaser…”

Sebastian was quick to take her hand in his and reassure her (or at least try), “Hey, you know it’s nothing like that, darling. I told you I wanted my situation to get better before committing myself.”

“But your situation couldn’t be better!” She withdrew her hand from his abruptly, her tone becoming louder and louder as she grew increasingly frustrated. “You’re an honoured researcher, who’s able to afford anything he wants with his salary, but you’re never satisfied! What could you possibly want more?”

“I want to be the best. For you. Because you deserve it.”

MC laughed humourlessly in his face, “And yet, here you are, not even able to give me the worst, because you’re not giving me anything anymore, Sebastian! I barely see you anymore! It… It’s like we’re not a couple anymore! I can’t bear the distance between us any longer.”

“MC, calm down.” Sebastian said in a firmer tone, as if warning her not to take this argument any further. It was palpable that his irritation was growing too. “It’s only a matter of time. You just have to be a bit more patient. It’s not that bad–”

“Not that bad? I’ve waited seven years, Sebastian! I’ve been more than patient! I gave you all my best me's, and my endless empathy, but all you’ve done these past months is ignore me! Anyone else would’ve left you long ago!” At this point, MC was fully screaming at him, no longer having the strength or desire to contain her torrent of emotions any longer.

The intensity of her outburst left Sebastian taken aback, her words cutting him like a sharp dagger straight to the heart. A stunned expression etched itself across his face. He stood there, momentarily at a loss for words.

MC was biting her nails to the quick as she stared at him. She was waiting for him to find the miracle solution to all their problems, like he always did, and for their relationship to be saved. However, he did nothing more than stare right back at her, lips parted as he struggled to find a response that could bridge the growing chasm between them.

The icy silence reminded them that their relationship was nothing more than a ship that was slowly sinking. Its demise was inevitable. This realisation was unbearable for MC, who could not stop herself from snapping at Sebastian.

“Do something, Sebastian. Say something. You’re losing me!”

The echoes of her plea filled the space, and for a moment, the silence spoke volumes. Sebastian, caught off guard by the rawness of her honesty, met her gaze, recognising the urgency in her eyes. It was a pivotal moment, the point of no return where they needed to confront the cracks in their relationship and decide whether to mend or let go.

“I love you, MC.” Sebastian finally said. These were the only words his mind could muster.

MC huffed at how basic and devoid of authenticity his declaration was, “How can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dying?”

Sebastian stammered, his usual poised demeanour shattered by the force of her cold indifference, “I… I… I don’t know. I don’t know what to say…”

“Then I’ll make it easier for you. It’s either me or your research. You have to choose now.”

“I can’t believe it!” He exclaimed, putting his hands on his hips in exasperation. “You can’t ask that of me, MC. I need to do this research, but you have to understand that it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. You’ve got to believe me.”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, “I’ve got nothing to believe unless you’re choosing me.”

Sebastian, confronted with the reality of losing the woman he had taken for granted, faced a choice that could either breathe life back into their love or push it beyond the point of no return. Nevertheless, he did not need to rack his brains for very long, for his choice was already made.

“I’m going on this trip, whether you like it or not. It’s too important.”

MC’s eyes widened at his answer.

“More important than me?” She asked, her facade of indifference cracking in the same way as her voice.

Sebastian looked away without responding, but there was no need to. His silence spoke louder than any words ever could.

And just like that, he had dealt the final blow, carrying away with it the last vestiges of MC’s feelings for him.

Her heart, once resilient like a phoenix, now struggled to find a pulse. Her heart would not start anymore for him. She was tired of always having to mend the gashes he had been inflicting on her heart every day for months. She was done.

“Leave this house.” MC ordered in a weak, strained voice, indicating that her tears were about to flow.

“MC…” Sebastian called her name like a prayer to reconsider her decision.

“LEAVE!” She shouted again, this time firmly to force Sebastian to comply. “I don’t want to ever see you again, Sebastian.”

Sebastian nodded in resigned agreement, and retreated to what is – or rather once was – their shared bedroom. He mechanically began to pack his belongings, the act itself a silent testament of their love being beyond repair. The sound of clothes shuffling and drawers closing punctuated the oppressive silence that did nothing to help forget about the gravity of the situation.

With one last lingering gaze at the space that held memories both beautiful and painful, Sebastian shouldered the weight of his bags and walked towards the door, leaving behind his home, his lover, his best friend, and his life.

The thud of the door closing behind him sounded the death knell of seven years spent together, brutally gone up in smoke.

Her tears began to flow down her cheeks, as abundant as torrential rain. MC was suddenly overwhelmed by a profound sense of loss that instantly made her collapse to the floor of a room that had once been a sanctuary of light and love. She looked around the gloomy room that was adorned with remnants of their shared history, and had now become a silent witness to their break-up. Photos, souvenirs, and gifts of them were everywhere. MC had no idea if she was supposed to throw out everything or keep it.

They had chosen this flat together. They had bought it for its living room, which they both loved because of the light. That same room was now shrouded in the darkness, with MC alone and crumpled to the ground, crying her eyes out.

She could not believe what had just happened. She could not comprehend how everything had gone downhill so rapidly.

Sebastian had lost her.

[bupia]

29 with cardinal copia 🌚

PHONE SEX

"I never thought you could make such sweet noises." - "Me neither..."

There's a smut under the cut, +18 only, please.

(AFAB!Reader: teasing; dirty talk; Italian swearing; masturbation)

Day 21 | Day 23

This is the Part 2 from Erotic Photos

The subtle buzz of your phone beneath your pillow signaled the moment you had been eagerly anticipating: a call from Cardinal Copia. After sharing photos, videos, and texts just a few hours ago, you couldn't wait for his return to the hotel and the ensuing call.

It was well past midnight, but you were fully aware that it would have taken him some time to return, but truth be told, you couldn't have been less concerned about the hour. All you longed for was to converse with him, to savor the sound of his voice, and above all, to fuck with him.

With your phone retrieved from under the pillow, your bleary eyes scanned the dimly lit screen, and there it was – his name. A wave of anticipation washed over you, and you bit your lip, unable to contain your excitement. You turned onto your back, eager to hear his voice.

"Hello?" you answered the call with a soft tone as you brought the phone to your ear.

"Amore mio!" Cardinal's voice resonated from the other end of the line. "Did I wake you up?" Copia inquired. "I probably did, sì?"

"Yes, you did, but it's alright. I was eagerly waiting for your call," you replied.

"Were you, amore?" he asked.

"So much, you have no idea..." you replied. "How was the show?"

"It was great, very great," Copia said. "But I couldn't stop thinking about you..."

"Yeah?" you giggled. "Were you thinking about me?"

"Sì, amore," he admitted, his voice laced with desire. "I couldn't stop thinking about the photos you sent to me, how gorgeous your body is, how it would look even more gorgeous under me or on top of me..." he took a deep breath. "You made me hard while I was on stage, if it wasn't for the cassock... That would have been a problem."

"Oh, so we're getting straight to the point?" you teased.

"Mi dispiace, should I... Amore, I thought that I could just say it."

You chuckled at his reaction. He was undeniably adorable, especially in these moments when he was horny.

"Copia, it's okay," you reassured him. "I'm just messing with you. Please, continue."

"You're messing with your Cardinal, eh? Wait until your Cardinal can mess with you."

His words made you blush instantly. You wished he could be with you right now, but you knew he had you in the palm of his hands even from a distance.

"Oh Copia..." you sighed, running your fingers through your body. "I want you to mess with me so much... Especially now... I'm so lonely here on my bed..."

You heard him grunting in frustration. "If I could just teleport..."

"That would be really cool and very useful now, right?" you chuckled, shifting in your bed as you spoke. "You could come here, fuck me, and go back to your shows."

"So I would also need to freeze time too," he replied, a hint of longing in his voice. "Because I wouldn't want to come back any sooner. I would have to fuck you for so long..."

"Mmm... Copia..." you purred, your voice laced with desire. "That sounds perfect."

"It really does," you heard him sighing. "But we don't have to worry, sì? As soon as we're together again, I'll be back to the ministry, back to you, and we can hang a little sock on the doorknob, and no one will bother us."

"Copia!" you chuckled. "No one does that!"

"Eh!?" he exclaimed. "But I... I always heard of it."

"Copia, we won't be hanging any sock on the doorknob!" you assured him with a laugh.

"Ok... Ok, amore..." he chuckled. "Oh amore mio, I love you..."

At the moment you heard those words, you fell into a warm silence. Your entire body shivered, and you felt it deep in your heart, as if it expanded within your chest. It brought tears to your eyes, not tears of sadness, but of overwhelming love. Copia was more than just adorable; he was an extraordinary man, and even without those three words, you knew he loved you. However, when he said them directly to you, it was one of the most precious moments in the world.

"Amore?" his voice broke the silence. "Are you still there? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," you replied in a hushed tone.

"Are you okie dokie?" he asked.

"Yes, I am 'okie dokie', Copia..."

You took a deep breath and used your free hand to wipe away the tears from your eyes. Then, you settled back onto the bed, letting out a contented sigh.

"Bene," he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "Amore, can you believe they gave me a room that is bigger than mine at the ministry? It's so big, even the bed is big!"

"I love you too," you said, a tear of joy escaping your eye and rolling down your cheek.

In that moment, Copia fell into a brief silence. It was funny because it wasn't the first time you two had exchanged those three little words, but in such an intimate moment, it felt different, somehow more profound.

"But I doubt you love me more than I love you," he said with a chuckle, a mischievous hint on his tone.

"Oh, are we really going to do that?" you chuckled back, your fingers brushing away a stray tear that had escaped.

"Sì," he replied playfully, his grin evident in his voice.

"Yes? What a shame, I thought you were actually going to tell me how much you were thinking about me on stage," you said, your voice laced with anticipation.

"Is that what you want to hear?" he teased, his words accompanied by a soft laugh.

"One of the things I want to hear," you said in a soft tone. As you spoke, you reclined further into your pillows, your thoughts drifting to him. "But I can manage with just that for now."

"I was, in fact, thinking a lot about you on stage," he confessed. "I was particularly fixated on the video you sent me. Cazzo, you made such sweet sounds... I never thought you could make such sweet noises."

"Honestly? Me neither," you replied with a grin. "But just the thought of you..."

"I can still hear your voice calling for me..." he whispered.

"Cardinal..." you whispered, your fingers tracing patterns on your thigh.

"Sì?" he breathed.

"Mmm... Cardinal..." you purred, your free hand wandering down your body.

"Are you trying to tempt me, amore?" Cardinal's words quivered with desire.

"Is it working?" you asked, a seductive tone lacing your voice.

"A lot..." he confessed, his breathing growing heavier. "I've been thinking about how you pleasured yourself, thinking about me, how you moaned my name, how you came with your fingers... Ah!" he let out a gasp. "How you... Ah... How you'd look beneath me... completely mine... Ah! My... Ah! How it would feel to be inside you..."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you could feel the desire surging between your legs, causing your inner muscles to clench involuntarily. The anticipation was making you increasingly desperate for him, and it was clear from what you were hearing that he was equally consumed by desire.

"What are you doing, my Cardinal...?" you asked in a seductive whisper, your fingers tracing a teasing path along your thighs.

"Just rubbing... through my pants..." Cardinal confessed.

"I want to see you..."

Cardinal's free hand moved to unbutton his trousers, and you could hear the faint sound of a zipper being undone.

"You want me to take a picture for you?"

"No... Remember I told you about the video call?"

"I... I do... merda, I really need to see you..." Cardinal's voice quivered with longing.

"Okay, you're going to take your phone from your ear, and then you're going to press the camera button, can you do that for me?" you instructed.

"Sì, amore, I can. Just give me a minute," he replied.

You glanced around, searching for a suitable spot to place your phone for the video call. But then, you noticed an incoming video call from him. Desperation to see him took over, and you quickly sat on the bed, prioritizing the view of him over finding the perfect spot for your phone. With a quick tap, you accepted the call and held your phone.

As the screen switched to his feed, you couldn't help but bite your lower lip in delight. He looked so good, having shed his cassock, shirtless with slightly disheveled hair, and his face paint still intact. He moved around a bit, not initially facing the camera, but he held his phone in a way that gave you a view of him.

When he finally turned to face you, his eyes widened, and a glint of appreciation shone in them. He broke into a soft smile and stopped moving.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you look," he said, his voice filled with admiration.

"Copia!" you exclaimed, a shy smile playing on your lips, and you shook your head slightly.

"I wish I could just kiss you right now, I would do anything to kiss you right now."

"I would do anything to kiss you too..." you replied, your voice filled with longing.

You lowered your body, settling back on the bed, and watched as he did the same on his end, the desire in your gaze mirroring his.

"Are you still... with nothing on?" he asked, his voice laced with desire.

You shook your head, and with a seductive smile, you clicked the button to switch your camera to the rear one, revealing yourself in your nightclothes. As he laid eyes on your form, you could see a noticeable shift in his demeanor. He took in a sharp breath, his gaze becoming half-lidded with longing.

"Merda, I really need to be with you right now," he said, a note of frustration in his voice.

"Do you?" you teased, your voice sultry and inviting.

"Sì, so I could take all your clothes off," he continued, his words filled with desire, "kiss your whole body, inch by inch, hold you closer to me, feel your body against mine..." He closed his eyes, lost in his words. "Feel your hot body, your lips, your touch... your pussy... how wet you are... how hot..." he trailed off.

"How hot...?"

"How hot your pussy would feel around my cock..." he whispered, his voice heavy with desire as he opened his eyes.

You bit your lower lip, the desire to have him overwhelming you. You smiled seductively and ran your fingers down your neck, over your collarbone, down your chest, tracing the outline of your curves through your nightclothes.

"I want to taste you so bad," he continued, his voice low and husky. "I want to kiss every inch of your body..." he whispered, his eyes fixed on your hand as it moved sensuously. "And then I want to have you... all for me, on the bed, on my office's table... anywhere..."

His words sent a shiver of anticipation through your body. Your breath quickened as the intensity of the conversation deepened. His words had ignited a burning desire within you, and you couldn't help but continue your sensual exploration beneath your nightclothes. Your fingers danced over your skin, tracing the outline of your curves, and then slipped lower.

"I want to feel you, Copia," you murmured, your voice husky with need. "I want your hands all over me, your lips on mine, your body against mine. I want to taste you too, and give you everything you crave."

Copia's eyes locked onto your movements, his own desire palpable as he listened to your words.

"I ache for you, amore," he confessed, his breathing heavy. "You drive me wild, and I can't wait to make you mine in every way."

As the heat between you two intensified, you continued to tease your own desires, your fingers slipping further beneath your nightclothes. You let out a soft, sensual sigh, your eyes never leaving the screen. Copia's gaze remained fixed on your every move, his own need evident as he watched you. He reached out, running his fingers along his own chest, tracing the contours of his body, all the while keeping his eyes locked on you.

"I can't wait to make you mine in every way," he repeated, his voice filled with longing. "I want to give you all the pleasure you desire, to make you scream my name as you cum."

Your fingers continued their sensual exploration. "I'm aching for you, Copia. I want you so badly, I can hardly stand it."

Copia's voice was raw with longing. "Amore, the thought of being with you, of making you mine, it consumes me. I want to taste every inch of you, to feel your body shivering under my touch."

Your breath hitched as you replied, "I want to feel you, your hands holding me close, and your cock inside me, filling me..."

Copia's eyes darkened, and his voice was a seductive whisper. "I'll make you feel things you've never felt before, and I'll ensure you scream my name in pleasure."

The heat between you two increased exponentially, and you couldn't help but let out a small moan as you continued to run your fingers along your body. Your fingers slipped lower, trailing along your stomach, your hips, and then your thighs, caressing yourself through your nightclothes. Your breath grew heavier with each tantalizing touch.

Copia's eyes was filled with desire as he watched your actions. "Amore, I can't wait to touch you, to feel your warmth beneath my hands."

"I need you to make me yours."

"You want me to make you mine?"

"So much..." you sighed. "I want you to make me scream your name so loud while you fuck me that the whole ministry will know who I belong to."

Copia's eyes widened with your words, and he quickly sat on the bed, watching your every move with desire and anticipation. You could see him moving his head as he was searching for something. He placed the phone on the bed and got up.

"Copia?" you called for him.

"Un momento, amore mio."

You chuckled as you stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. After a few seconds, you saw his face approaching from the screen, and he took the phone, placing it upright next to the bed. You watched him adjusting it, ensuring the view was perfect, and then he gazed at the screen and the bed. Slowly, he removed his hands from the phone, took a few steps back, and extended his arms toward the device. His legs bumped into the bed, and he sat down, turning to face the camera.

"Now, that's better," he said, nodding with his head. "Can you see me, amore?"

"Yes, I can."

As Copia's hands went to his already unzipped pants, his eyes locked onto the screen, and his lips curled into a seductive smile. He slid his hand inside, and slowly pulled out his hardness, letting it spring free from its confines. You could see it glistening with precum, and he began to stroke himself, moving his hand up and down the shaft, spreading the moisture around the tip.

"I want to be inside you," he moaned, his voice deep and sultry. "I want to fill you with my cum, to make you scream my title."

Your heart raced as you watched him, his eyes locked onto the camera and his own reflection. The desire and need in his gaze fueled a fiery longing within you. You found yourself motionless, unable to move or even breathe as you fixated on the scene unfolding on the screen. The anticipation and desire were driving you wild, and you felt yourself growing wetter by the second. The intensity of your desire couldn't be contained any longer, so without a second thought, you swiftly discarded the lower part of your nightclothes, kicking them to the floor.

Copia's eyes widened as he watched you disrobe, his own arousal evident in the way his hand continued to glide along his length. "Cazzo... I'm feeling desperate for you," he whispered, his voice husky with desire. "Seeing you like this, so eager for me, it's maddening."

You bit your lip, your fingers trembling as they moved to touch yourself, mirroring his movements. "Please, Copia, I need you. I need you now."

"Touch yourself for me, amore, I need to see you doing it... Per favore, I need to hear you moaning my name, calling for me..."

With his words sending shivers down your spine, you obeyed without hesitation. Your hand moved down your body, your fingers grazing your sensitive flesh. You gasped and moaned softly, the sound of your own voice heightening your desire as you touched yourself in response to his fervent request.

Copia's eyes remained locked onto the screen, his own hand continuing its rhythmic movement along his throbbing length. His voice grew huskier as he spoke, "That's it, amore. Just like that. Show me how badly you need me."

Your fingers moved more urgently, pleasure building with each passing moment. "Cardinal," you moaned, your voice filled with longing. "I need you... Oh, I need you so much."

His breath hitched as he watched you, his own need intensifying. "Mi stai facendo impazzire, amore. I want to be there with you, to feel you beneath me, falling apart for me."

Your breath caught as you replied, "I want your touch, Copia. I crave the feel of your lips on me, your tongue exploring my every inch, and your cock buried deep within me."

Copia's gaze intensified, his moans and growls becoming increasingly desperate. You nibbled on your lip, your fingers quickening their movements, your body trembling with longing as the echoes of your moans filled the room's silence. His own pace quickened as he listened to your words and watched your desperate need for him. The lust between you two was palpable, and you could see the fire in his eyes through the screen.

"Per favore, mio amore... I need to savor you, to have your essence coating my tongue, to inhale your scent. Per favore... Let me taste you."

The room was saturated with desire, making each breath heavy and laden with longing. You yearned for him, your need growing more intense by the second. His words sent an electrifying shiver through your body, stoking the fire in your core to an even greater heat. Copia brought his hand closer to his face, moistening it with his saliva before returning it to his throbbing member, stroking it with increased urgency.

"Cazzo, amore... I can hear how wet your pussy is... I ache to be inside you so much..."

The sensual sounds of his hand moving up and down his length filled your ears, intensifying your arousal. You both yearned for each other desperately, and Copia's grip on the edge of the bed reflected his longing as he clenched his eyes shut.

"Please... Please let me have you, Cardinal," your voice carried the unmistakable plea of desire

In response, you heard Copia's voice tremble with longing. "Oh, per amore di Satana, I need to cum on you, in your mouth, in your pussy... I simply must fill you with myself."

Your fingers continued their movements, quickening their pace, and your breathing grew increasingly labored. The muscles in your thighs quivered, and your knees threatened to give way. You bit your lip to stifle your moans and continued to pleasure yourself. Copia's eyes opened once more, riveted on the screen, and his gaze shifted to you, watching with rapt attention.

Your fingers slid down to your clit, and you began to rub it in earnest. As pleasure coursed through your body, you arched your back slightly, your moans growing louder. In your mind's eye, you pictured Copia doing this to you, heightening your own desire. The sound of your arousal mingling with his on the call was intoxicating, and your breath hitched in your throat. Your hand moved lower, gathering your wetness before returning to your clit, using it as lubrication.

"Ah... Ah... Cardinal... That feels... so amazing... I need you so much... Fuck, I need you, Copia..."

Copia's voice, filled with desire, spurred you on. "Put your fingers inside for me, amore. Imagine my cock deep inside you, fucking you fast and hard."

Your fingers traced your wet folds, teasing yourself before pushing two fingers inside. The sensation was electrifying, and your body quivered in response. You started to thrust your fingers in and out, your moans growing louder and more urgent.

"Yes... Cardinal... Copia... Just like this," you purred, your voice heavy with desire. "Can you imagine it? Your cock inside me... filling me up, just like my fingers are right now..."

Copia watched you intently on the screen, his own pleasure evident. He continued to stroke himself, each movement in sync with your own, building a crescendo of desire between you. Your moans filled the room as you continued to pleasure yourself, matching your rhythm with Copia's fervent strokes.

"I can feel it, Cardinal... I can feel you inside me," you gasped, your voice trembling with raw need. "Just like this... deeper and harder... Ah!"

Copia's breathing grew more erratic as he watched you, his desire mirroring yours. He responded with a voice thick with passion, "Sì, amore mio... I'm inside you... fucking you hard... Our bodies moving together..."

our gaze remained fixed on Copia's hand as it gripped his throbbing length, his strokes growing faster and more urgent. With a shudder, he withdrew his free hand from the bed's edge, moistening it with his saliva before returning it to his aching hardness. He couldn't suppress a hiss of pleasure, his body quivering as he released a deep, guttural groan.

"Cardinal, I'm so close," you moaned, your voice a sultry whisper. "I can feel it building, growing, ready to... Just a little more..."

Copia's eyes were locked onto the screen, his gaze never wavering as his hand moved relentlessly over his own throbbing length. He groaned in response, the longing evident in his voice, "Sì, amore, let it consume you... Cum for me."

The room filled with the sounds of your ecstasy, his name falling from your lips like a fervent prayer. Copia's head tilted back, lost in the throes of desire, as your cries of pleasure crescendoed, pushing him to the edge. His strokes became increasingly erratic, matching the frantic rhythm of your own movements.

"Copia... I'm going to cum... I'm going to cum on your cock... My Cardinal..."

The desire in your voice was like a siren's call, and Copia's control began to falter. His whimpers mingled with your moans, rising to a high, fevered pitch as the room became a symphony of longing and pleasure. His body tensed, and then, with a final stroke, he came. Spurts of his essence erupted, painting his belly, chest, and hand in glistening evidence of his release. The intensity of the sight, combined with your own climactic peak, overcame you. Your legs snapped shut, and your phone tumbled to the bed, forgotten as your eyes closed and your mind dissolved into the bliss of your orgasm.

You continued to breathe heavily, your chest rising and falling with the aftermath of your intense pleasure. Copia's voice reached you like a distant echo, and though you could hear him calling for you, you couldn't respond. Your mind was in a whirlwind, and rational thought eluded you in the post-orgasmic haze. It took several minutes for your senses to return, and gradually, you managed to pry your eyes open.

With deliberate effort, you removed your fingers from their intimate exploration, and Copia's voice became more audible, expressing his concern.

"Amore? Are you still there? Are you...? Amore? I'm worried!" his voice, filled with concern, emanated from your phone, reaching your ears.

You languidly reached out to retrieve your phone, its screen displaying Copia's worried visage, his face closer to the camera, partially zoomed in. You couldn't help but chuckle softly and flipped the camera to the front-facing view, focusing it on yourself.

"Hi..." you murmured, your voice still soft and sultry.

"Hi, amore..." Copia sighed with relief. "Are you okay...?"

"Yes... I am perfect," you assured him with a mischievous grin. His concern had faded, replaced by a satisfied smile.

"Was it good, amore?" he asked.

"It was amazing... But I wish I could feel you..." you replied.

"You will, amore, we are going to be back soon. Just some more days and I'll be all yours, I promise," he reassured you with unwavering commitment.

Your smile radiated happiness as you gazed at his image on the screen. Copia leaned in closer to the front camera and virtually kissed it, causing you to break into a shy, delighted laugh.

"What was that?" you inquired.

"Me sealing my promise with a kiss," he answered with a hint of playfulness.

"Oh... Copia," you responded, touched by his sincerity and the affection that transcended the physical distance between you.

"You should go back to sleep. I know it's very late for you, probably almost morning, and you need to rest..." Copia urged gently.

"Yes... I should..." you replied, turning to your side and placing your phone beside you.

"I love you, you heard me? I love you," Copia professed as he lay down on his own bed, staring at you with affection.

"I heard you, Cardinal, and I love you too," you reciprocated, sealing the moment with a heartfelt exchange of love.

As you closed your eyes, you could still hear his voice gently speaking to you, and with a smile on your face, you let yourself drift into a peaceful sleep, cherishing the connection you shared with Copia, even when miles apart.

[jackles010378]

I can't do this anymore part 2........

(sorry it's taken so long 🫣)

Y/n pov:

You had been driving around for a couple of hours. Not going in any particular direction. Once you left your home that you shared with Jensen, you weren't sure where to go.

Your mind was swirling with so many thoughts, you needed them to stop. You hadn't realised you had turned into the parking lot of the bar where you met Jensen the night of your birthday. You parked your car and turned off your engine. Reaching into your pocket you pulled out the photo of you both. it was one from the night you met him, Jared had taken it with out you or Jensen knowing. You both looked so happy, it made you sad and the tears began to flow, you remembered that night as if it happened yesterday.....

2 years ago :

"i really don't want to go out Becca, I'm happy staying in and having movie night" you shout from your bedroom as you're being forced to go out and celebrate your birthday. "Oh come on y/n, we haven't been out in ages, and you only turn 40 once" Becca shouts from your living room where she was waiting for you. You really weren't in the mood for going out. You had just been dumped by your boyfriend of 4 years, finding out he'd been seeing someone else. You thought he was going to propose but no, for the last year and half he'd been sleeping with his secretary 'what a cliche' you thought to yourself.

After applying a small amount of make up, keeping your hair loose and cascading down your shoulders, throwing on a simple knee length green dress with a pair of flats, if you're being forced out you may as well be comfortable! You entered your living room giving Becca a small twirl "will this do your majesty" Becca laughed "you look gorgeous y/n, the men will be all over you" you snorted at that comment "no way, I'm not looking for anything, not yet" you grabbed your purse and headed out.

Arriving at the bar Becca had chosen, you saw a small booth decorated with banners and a few of your friends sitting waiting for you. You glared at Becca "what would you have done if I hadn't come with you" "well, y/n I would've got you here one way or another". You hugged your best friend and walked over to say hi to your friends.

Although you didn't want to admit it you were having a pretty good time. You heard the bell on the door ring. In walked two very tall and handsome men. You turned to Becca and grabbed her arm "Bec, am I seeing things or did Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles just walk in here" you couldn't take your eyes off them as Becca turned to look. She turned back to you with wide eyes " she was now squeezing your arm as hard as you squeezed hers. You both couldn't stop staring but soon averted your gaze when you caught Jensen's eyes. Those perfect green orbs, the ones you see in your dreams were looking at you. You smiled at him shyly and turned back to your friends.

About half an hour later Jared had made his way over to your table introducing himself and asking if he and Jensen could join you. You scolded yourself internally for acting like a babbling idiot but they still joined your little party. You were nervous as Jensen scooted in by you after Jared took the chair by Becca. You saw the look Jared gave Jensen with a little smirk 'Seriously he can't be trying to hook us up' you thought to yourself.

You didn't want to get your hopes up, I mean this is Jensen Ackles why would he be attracted to someone like you. You're just a normal person with a normal 9 to 5 job average body and average looks. They told you all about filming supernatural and the pranks they'd pull on each other. You were captivated with the way Jensen would tell you the stories. Jared noticed how he would only look at you when he spoke. He took his phone out making it look like he was texting but he took a sly photo of you mid laugh with your hand on Jensen's shoulder and Jensen looking straight at you with the biggest smile on his face.

As much as you didn't want to leave you remembered you had work the next morning so had to call it a night, it was only just after midnight but still you had an early start, so you said your goodbyes to everyone and went outside to wait for your Uber. You saw Jared and Jensen leaving the bar, Jensen walking over to you "we can give you a lift, if that's ok with you?" You could hear the doubt in his voice, was he nervous you thought to yourself. You told him that you had an Uber booked, when you saw him frown you told him you'd cancel it and accepted the lift off him and Jared.

You never imagined that your night would end like this, THE Jensen Ackles walking you to your door. You fumbled around for keys unsure of how to end the night. Should you kiss him, would he think you're being too forward. You both stood there not sure what to do. So you thanked him for a great night, he answered you calling you sweetheart something you'd always dreamt about. That gave you the courage to leave a kiss on his cheek. You felt his hands rest on your waist as your face aligned with his. Jensen cupped your face and lent in as did you, lips connecting with a gentle soft kiss. He broke away when he heard the honking on the horn coming from the SUV. He asked to see you again, so you put your number in his phone and told him that depended entirely on him. He kissed you once more before making his way back to the car. The very next day, you were extremely happy to get a call from him asking you out.

Present day.......

Your phone kept ringing in your pocket, you knew it was him. You knew he'd be home now and would have found your note. You loved Jensen so much, but the past couple of months you didn't feel as if you were good enough, skinny enough or pretty enough for him. You saw the photos on his socials of his very attractive co stars, you couldn't compete with that. It made you wonder what he was doing with someone like you.

Sure he invited you to the parties, and always tried to get you to visit the sets of the shows he was working on, but you would always make excuses to not go. You didn't want to embarrass him.

You felt he could do better, so you decided to leave him, it broke your heart but he could then find someone more worthy of his love.

At this point your phone had not stopped ringing. You took it out of your pocket and noticed you had several missed calls. Most of them off Jensen but also a few off Jared and Gen and a couple off Misha too. You saw all the messages coming through from Jensen :

J❤️: y/n sweetheart I'm not sure what is happening right now, all I want to know is that you're safe, please baby, I need to know your alright, where are you? xx

J❤️: just let me know you're okay baby please, I'm losing my mind with worry y/n please answer me xx

J❤️: y/n, one little txt, just so I know your okay please darlin xx

J❤️: I can't lose you y/n, please tell me where you are, I don't wanna lose you! I love you xx

J❤️: Baby please, please talk to me, I can't do any of this without you, please darlin. I just can't do any of it without you. Y/n answer your phone sweetheart xx

You let out a deep sigh, you knew you had to talk to him, you owed him that much. He was the sweetest, most loving man you had been in a relationship with. Guilt was setting in now, so you pulled up your contacts and hovered over his name. With a deep breath you hit the call button.

Ahhhhh gonna leave it there. So yeah seems like there will be a part 3 😂 hope you enjoyed this part 🥰

@k-slla @cevansbaby-dove @kaleldobrev @janineb86 @deans-daydream @alternativeprincess94 @stoneyggirl2

[writting-stuff-sometimes]

Lovers at Coachella Lando x Fem Reader +18 NSFW

Summary: You dated Lando for a few months, it had been a year since you broke up, Max and your friends planned a trip to Coachella that turns into more than a friends get away.

AN: Hello everyone, I'm back with something I wrote today, not proof read but I felt inspired. I'm still working on the following parts of "Just a Mistake", comments are greatly appreciated and let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

Warnings: cheating, slight smut, minors dni.

You arrived at LAX a little after 10 am, it had been an 11 hour flight from Amsterdam but you loved driving so much you decided to rent a car and drive all the way to Coachella instead of taking another flight, you were attending the festival with your friends and your "ex", another reason why you decided to drive, it gave you some time to prepare yourself to see him after the breakup a year ago.

You had dated Lando for a couple of months while you finished school in the UK, the relationship was fast and intense, but when you finished school you got a job in Amsterdam and his racing career had him traveling too much, so you decided to end things, it was a friendly breakup with a goodbye fuck, then breakfast the morning after and you two kept in touch through social media and a casual text every once in a while.

After a couple of hours you got to the airbnb Max had rented but something wasn't right, the photos he had shared were of a house big enough to fit your group of 6, but from the outside you could tell the place you had arrived to was a small apartment, the code to the key lock box worked, you opened the door slowly, afraid to be entering someone else's place, and just like you predicted it was a one room apartment with one full bed and a futon in the living room.

Your friends where supposed to be there already, and not a soul was in sight.

-Y/N Guys where are you? Max I followed the location you sent but I'm not sure I'm at the right place.

You texted to the group chat and sat on the futon, you weren't sure if you should be inside but outside was way too hot.

The beeping sound of the lock box woke you up, the golden hour light coming from the window let you know you had fallen asleep for several hours.

You checked your phone and still no answer. Everyone had left you on read, assholes. A knock on the door brought your attention back to what had woken you up, you had taken the two keys so now you had to let in whoever was outside. You walked to the door and looked through the peep hole.

"Guys c'mon, I really need to pee" Lando screamed from outside.

You opened the door and he rushed in, barely paying attention to you.

"Thank God" He threw his backpack towards the living room and rushed to the first door he found.

It was weird, the person that had you worried about this trip was the one giving you peace at the moment, at least it wasn't just you who was lost or had screwed up.

You went back to sit on the sofa and checked your phone, maybe you had no service and that's why you didn't got their answer.

"Y/N" his voice saying your name sent a shiver down your spine, you had always like how he said it. You turned to look at him and you could see a cute spark in his eyes, maybe it was just the sunset playing with his beautiful green eyes or maybe you did cause his eyes to shine in a certain way.

"Where is everybody?" he broke your chain of thought, you nervously cleared your throat before answering.

"I don't know, this is not the place Max sent, I texted them hours ago but they haven't answered"

"Ugh, I ran out of battery during the flight let me connect my phone" He went to the side of the sofa and plugged his phone, while you waited for it to come back to life you had the awkward catching up.

Finally a sound coming from his phone informed you that it was on and he called Max directly, putting him on speaker.

"Hellooo?"

"What the fuck mate, where are you? I think you got scammed...again, you suck at planning trips"

"Oh, do I? Check the group chat, call you later" Max hung up the phone and Lando looked at you matching your confused expression.

"This fucking idiot" he said looking at the screen on his phone

"What?"

"Check the chat" Lando said pinching the bridge of his nose and you did as he said.

Max F. has changed the group's name to "Lovers reunion🧡🧡, Coachella 2023"

-Max F. This week you're going to the festival, just the two of you, do everyone a favor and start dating again, we're sick of your instagram flirting and Lando's obsession with Y/N it's exhausting. Have fun ✌️

"Why are we friends with him?" Lando asked still holding the bridge of his nose trying to hide his blushing face.

"I'm not sure anymore" You said locking your phone and throwing it on the sofa.

He prepared two cups of tea so you could try to think about how the week was going to work out. At the end you decided you were going to take turns using the bed, it was big enough to fit both of you but you knew it was a dangerous game, your relationship had been spend mostly between the sheets and your conversations consisted in moaning each others names and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ear, so sleeping in the same bed, specially after a couple of drinks, was risky.

When you finished the cup of tea you went to the supermarket to buy groceries for the rest of the week, Lando was doing great this season and his trainer allowed him to do this trip just because he and Max promised him he would stick to his diet.

After the grocery store you both went for a run trying to burn all the energy and fight jet lag, when you came back to the apartment you had to check some emails from work so Lando showered first.

"All yours" he said exiting the steamy bathroom with just a towel around his hips, some water falling from his hair to his chest, this view sent a hot wave all over your body, he had always had a great physic but the changes in the last year were amazing, his back looked broader, his abs where pretty noticeable and his arms, those stupid arms that you missed around you, were so inviting.

"You can take a picture" He said in a cheeky tone as he looked at you with a raised brow.

"Sorry" You excused yourself returning to your laptop "I just need to finish this email and then I'll shower."

"Don't apologize, it's not like we haven't seen each other naked before" You blushed at his comment and kept your eyes on your screen. You couldn't fall for this, not just because it would mean Max had won, but because there was actually someone waiting for you at home, you hadn't told any of your friends yet, but you were dating someone, it was still pretty recent, he had asked you to be his girlfriend just a couple of weeks ago, so if anything happened with Lando you would be cheating, and cheating was something you were strongly against.

"I'll make diner while you shower, chicken fajitas and rice sounds good to you?"

"Yeah, sure" You said with a dry throat, you felt like a teenager.

When you came out from the shower dinner was served, clearly cooking wasn't his forte, the chicken was dry, some bits were burnt and the rice was more like a pudding, but he was proud he had done it all by himself so you let him have it. After dinner you both went to sleep, even after you had taken a sleeping pill the tension kept you both a wake, you couldn't stop thinking about him and his hot wet body after the shower. You knew what you needed to do to fall asleep but you had left your toy at home so your fingers had to be enough for the night, you couldn't help to feel a bit guilty, you were touching yourself thinking about your "ex" who was sleeping outside, what you didn't know was that he was doing the exact same thing thinking about you.

The next morning you had breakfast and got ready to enjoy the first day of the festival, Lando couldn't help to stare in awe when you walked out the room in a long black skirt with pretty deep cuts to the sides, a small white crop top and some cowboy boots, he didn't look bad himself, a sleeveless black shirt, black shorts and some colorful nikes that matched a necklace Max had given him.

During the festival you couldn't help to notice how protective Lando was, a couple of guys tried to talk to you as you were buying some beers or waiting in line for the bathroom and as soon as he saw this he would run to you and "marked" his territory by nonchalantly placing his arm over your shoulders, scaring the other guys away, this wasn't right, you two were just friends, but you couldn't deny you loved how his arm felt around you.

The great music and couple of beers had smoothed things between you two, and when you came back to the apartment you started making diner together while chatting about how amazing the day had been.

The kitchen was small, so in order to move around it you had to be very close, he walked behind you and took you strongly by your hips to move you a bit to the side so he could open a drawer, his touch made you gasp and he just smiled when he heard the effect his hands had on you, but he didn't say anything, he liked this game and he wanted to see how far he could go.

You tried to get some plates but they were too high, when he saw you struggling he walked towards you.

"Let me" he said as he stretched behind you reaching for two dinner plates, his body was so close to yours that when his shirt rose up from the stretch, his warm skin touched yours where the crop top left it uncovered, you felt your heart skip a beat.

"Here, babe" he handed you the plates, the nickname bringing amazing memories back.

"Thanks" you answered in a breathy whisper.

While you had dinner you couldn't help to stare lovingly at him, he looked so happy talking about how amazing this season was going, you had seen him struggle the previous one and him being so happy filled your heart.

When you finished dinner you sent him to the shower while you did the dishes, he insisted on helping you but he had done them the night before.

"Your turn" he whispered against your ear making you jump as you finished drying a glass, the scare making you drop it but his quick reflexes stopping it from hitting the table, you turned to complain but you had forgotten how small that kitchen was, so you found yourself caged between the kitchen counter and his strong, naked, wet torso.

You looked into his eyes, then down to his lips, they looked so plumped and inviting, you bit your lower lip trying to fight the urge to attack his mouth.

"Baby, please tell me you want this too" He whispered as one of his hands traced the elastic of your skirt from your belly button, around your hips and stopping on your lower back, causing goosebumps to cover your body.

"Yes" you whispered in a low growl and finally joined your lips, his hands pulled you strongly against him as yours went to grab his wet curls, he pulled you up and you wrapped your legs around his hips causing the towel to fall end left him completely naked. He walked towards the bedroom, he laid you gently over the bed, you couldn't help to stare at his naked body, every freckle, every crease, every vein looked so inviting.

"It's not fair, I'm naked and you're way too covered, love" he said pouting his lips, he might look like a man but he still had this childish side that you loved.

You smiled at his reaction and removed your top and the strapless bra, you were about to remove your skirt but his hands stoped yours.

"Please, let me" he took the elastic from your skirt and pulled it down your legs, softly touching your skin. "So perfect" he said as he stared at your half naked body "Let's keep the thong a bit longer" he placed himself over you, attacking your lips again.

That night you had the most amazing sex in a long time, Lando knew your body better than any other guy you had been with, he knew exactly when to be soft and caring and when you wanted him to be rough and wild.

The next couple of days anyone that saw you would think you were a couple, you spend the days holding hands, hugging, kissing, having amazing sex in every inch of that apartment, basically having the time of your life.

It was Monday, you had planed with the group to go to LA when the festival was over but the chances of people recognizing Lando over there were higher, so you just decided to stay at the small town and enjoy the anonymity.

You knew time was running out, you were supposed to return to your normal life on Saturday and you had two options, talk about the situation or go to the airport, say your goodbyes and leave as if nothing had happened. You planned on having the conversation on Friday night, but on Wednesday an unexpected call pushed things forward.

You were lying naked in bed, Lando's left hand over your shoulders playing with your left fingers as your other hand rested on his thigh, when your phone rang, Michael's name on your screen.

You took the phone fast.

"I need to take this" you said as you put on Lando's shirt over your body and walked to the livingroom closing the door behind you.

"Hello?" you answered in a low voice.

"Hi, baby, how are you? Haven't heard from you in a couple of days, everything ok?" You had been MIA on social media for the last couple of days and he was worried.

"Hi, baby, yeah everything's ok, it's just we had a change of plans and decided to stay in Coachella for the rest of the week instead of going to LA" you whispered. afraid Lando would hear you.

"Oh, ok, why are you whispering?"

"Ummm, we got here late last night and a couple of the girls are sleeping"

"Isn't it like 5pm?"

"Yes, we went to have brunch and we had a couple mimosas, they're resting because we're going out tonight"

"I didn't knew they had nightclubs at Coachella, I thought it was a small town"

"They have some bars" From the corner of your eye you saw the bedroom door open and freaked out a bit "I have to go, but call you tomorrow, love you, bye" you hung up fast but the look on Lando's face let you know he had heard your call.

"Who was that?" he asked in a serious tone, you froze. "Y/n, I asked you something" you could hear he was angry and hurt. "You're dating someone?" You turned to look at your hands and just said yes with your head.

"So, this is just a fling? a game?"

"No! Lando, it's not like that"

"Where you planing on telling me you have a boyfriend? where you planing on telling him about us?"

"Lando, I..., well..."

"Just tell me the truth" he begged in an exhausted tone.

"Listen" you held his hand and pulled him to sit by your side. "Yes I have a boyfriend, but I didn't knew things were going to go this way, as far as I knew this was a week away with friends, not just the two of us, and I know I should have told you about Michael when we talked about our current live's but... I really liked how having you back felt" you looked into his eyes trying to read in them if he felt the same way or if this had all been a mistake.

"I like having you back too" his thumb traced small circles over your hand. "You think we can do it right this time?" He let go of your hand and took your face in his hands pulling you to touch your forehead with his "I don't want to loose you again". His soft warm breath caressing your skin.

"I don't want to loose you either" You whispered as you looked into his green eyes " I love you" you finally said out loud, his eyes widened in shock, then he smiled.

"I love you too" He said pulling you in for a kiss, he pushed you to lay on the sofa and placed himself between your legs. The kissed turned a bit wilder as his hand sneaked under the shirt and groped your right boob, you moaned at the touch and he took this chance to remove the shirt completely.

"You really think we can do it?" you asked as you layed naked over the sofa.

"I think so, we can ask George how he and Carmen do it, or you can quit and travel around with me"

"Thanks for the offer but this ain't the 1950's anymore"

"I'm just saying. I don't want to loose you again" he held you tight against his chest.

"You won't, we'll work this out" You kissed his lips gently. "I'm just afraid of one thing"

"What is that?"

"Max is going to be so incredibly annoying when he finds out"

"Ugh, I know"

Tag List:@ricsaigaslec

[sinceileftyoublog]

Say Anything Interview: Intentional Is My Default

Photo by Nicole Mago

BY JORDAN MAINZER

I'm waiting back stage at Riot Fest for Say Anything's Max Bemis to finish a photoshoot, one that sees him lie in the grass in various positions that make it look like he's stretching after a tough workout. Despite the fact that he hasn't yet gotten his real workout in yet--his newly reformed band would go on stage in a few hours--and that this photoshoot is full of capital-p Poses, I'm taken by how at ease Bemis seems with everything. When we speak, he reveals to me that, yes, while he did in fact feel awkward during the photoshoot--most of us do--he's learning to lean into his feelings much more naturally.

Five years ago, the legendary emo band disbanded, with their 2019 album Oliver Appropriate billed as their final LP for the moment. A purported sequel to their beloved sophomore record ...Is A Real Boy, the album was publicized in conjunction with a nine-page letter from Bemis, in which came out as bisexual and admitted to struggles with drug use. (The frontman has long been open about his diagnosed bipolar disorder, previous self-medication through drugs, and manic episodes.) During the pandemic, Bemis stayed busy, performing livestreams of older material, but there was always lingering doubt the band's hiatus would become permanent.

It wasn't until late last year that Bemis dropped that the band would be reuniting for festivals in 2023. In typical nonchalant fashion, he shared that the reunion would include past members drummer Coby Linder and bassist Alex Kent by replying to someone's comment on a Facebook post. In April, the band released their first new material since Oliver Appropriate, the maximally stream-of-consciousness rant "Psyche!". The song sees Bemis laying out those same struggles for everyone to bear witness to, blaming himself for his personal, marital, and familial problems atop a bevy of references to the band's older material, Titanic, and Riot Fest itself. "By Riot Fest '24, I'll be coughing up corks if you supply the Malörk," he sings, a line that's instantly iconic and bound to be infamous for its satiric misspelling of Chicago's shot of choice. In August, the band followed it up with "Are You (In) There?", which also establishes itself within our emo universe, with mentions of Sunny Day Real Estate and mewithoutYou, but a more personal ode to Bemis' wife and the love they have for each other despite his past actions and shortcomings. And just this morning, Say Anything annouced ...Is Committed (Dine Alone), their new record, along with a single entitled "Carrie & Lowell & Cody (Pendent)", Bemis placing his "mommy issues" in conversation with those of indie folk luminary Sufjan Stevens. The song is musically heavier and more complex and full-throated, while also containing gorgeous choral harmonies from Bemis' wife, Sherri Dupree-Bemis.

At one point, the future of the band was a mystery to everyone, Bemis included. But with some newfound perspectives, the musical and personal influence of new band member Brian Warren of Weatherbox, and therapy, it seemed from just the short conversation I had with Bemis and Kent that they're in a good place, ready to embrace their new chapter. Read my interview below, conducted last month before I knew about their new album, edited for length and clarity. Catch the band three nights next week at The Regent Theater in LA and at When We Were Young in Las Vegas next weekend.

Photo courtesy of Say Anything

Since I Left You: How does it feel to be back?

Max Bemis: It feels great. I don't think I would have decided to write the songs again if I didn't aspire to how this feels now, which is very different than our experience as little kids being in a punk band, which was very intense and an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. But this is comfortable, and it feels like having the best job ever, in the words of Piebald. It could have been a stress fest, anxious, or bad, but the only reason I wanted to write again was to reach for this thing that we never got to settle into, being dads approaching 40. The bands we looked up to were doing it at that age and still making inventive music but still seeming to chill and not base their entire personas and aspirations around being in a band. I think I appreciate it more now that I'm not trying to be "a guy in a band" as hard as I was.

Alex Kent: Something we've been talking about since getting back up and running was the transition from utilizing it as an escape versus a form of healing. Because we've been through so much traumatic shit in our lives, most of the time Max and I talk, we talk about therapy. It's fucking weird going from 18 years old on a tour bus to having that self-awareness and reflection.

MB: I didn't need it like that for many years because our entire life cycle was keyed in to being on tour. I wasn't living a normal person life. I'm not saying I ever have really or ever will--I wrote comic books for five years. That's still weird. We're still weirdo guys. Having a family, coming out of that kind of circus, I feel more like my 14-year-old self who needed this music for that reason.

SILY: The new songs have a self-aware quality.

MB: More than ever.

SILY: How do you include the self-awareness in a set at a festival or concert, where you're literally referring to other songs you're playing in the setlist?

MB: We refer to Riot Fest itself!

SILY: And Malörk [sic]

MB: And Malörk. It's incredibly self-referential and ironic, but because the band started that way, it's come full circle and is no longer ironic at the same time. There's still a lot of exaggeration and bullshit, but it's closer to me saying actual things that are happening. As you age, everyone's life becomes a circus, more surreal. The world has been very surreal, with COVID and Trump. You kind of have to say your inner experience now. It's an emotional, crazy, surreal thing anyway. It's not like before, when I said, "I have to think about my ex-girlfriend, but I'm thinking about my wife, and what the fuck is this about?" Now, this is about being at Riot Fest. And I am at Riot Fest.

SILY: There is a song about your wife, though.

MB: Yes. Also quite literal. So many emotions are certainly exaggerated, but the sincerity isn't. The love for my wife is very real. But even there, if you're in any successful relationship, it goes through the most intense rebirths and reformations, and you're adjusting to each other, especially after having kids. It's more potent to me to say what's happening or what my emotions are than do what we did on In Defense of the Genre, where I was literally forcing drama into my life on a regular basis. Now, I have no room. I'm tired. I have children to look after. The drama just happens from kids, life, everything. It's real and heartfelt, but a seasoned emotion and not so adolescent. I still love those songs, and I relate to them, but they all speak to a certain side of me I can't live out anymore.

SILY: Do the new songs more than ever exemplify the idea that the more personal you are, the more universal the songs can be?

MB: Yeah. But probably by being a little too hyper-specific. That's why I fell in love with this kind of music. Saves The Day got me into wanting to be in a band. What wowed me was when he was talking about the names of the other band members in song, like, "Ted's drooling on his sleeve." He's just saying he's in this New Jersey bar and he misses his girlfriend. He's not cloaking anything. Our thing has been a kind of parody of that, but now I don't have to stretch anything for it to be a parody.

Photo by Ben Trivett

SILY: What do you think Brian Warren brings to the table on the new songs?

AK: I've known Brian since we were 9 years old. Our very first band, we were in together.

MB: I wouldn't know about Weatherbox if it wasn't for Alex.

AK: He brings this calming energy. Humble is a weird word to describe him.

MB: It's accurate.

AK: Weatherbox is fucking amazing.

MB: He has more impostor syndrome than even me.

AK: He can play everything, and he writes cool shit.

MB: He's a virtuoso. The cool thing about Brian is that there's always been a connection between our bands. It's similar to me playing music with [Chris] Conley [in Two Tongues] back in the day. It's surreal, but it makes so much sense that you don't have to think about where he fits into the sonic picture or personality picture because we're friends.

AK: It's very cool how much sense it makes.

SILY: Has your relationship changed to your old songs?

MB: I like them more. Over the break from the band, I would listen to Say Anything, with my kids or in my car, alone. The way I severed it was so intentional. I wasn't saying, "The band was over." I was saying, "We're probably going to get back together, but I have to sever this incarnation." I was listening to [old Say Anything songs] and thinking, "I like Alex's bass part. I like the production. I even like my voice." It was like listening to another band, because of the space. I've grown to like them. I definitely know people in bands that are not what they listen to, but Say Anything has always been a conglomeration of the type of thing we listen to. If I'm going to listen to The Get Up Kids, I might as well listen to Say Anything.

SILY: Moving forward, are you trying to continue to be more intentional, or do what feels best?

MB: Both. I know that's cliché to say, and it does and doesn't make sense. I find that intentional is my default, and before, I would second-guess myself constantly. Now, I allow myself to make mistakes, and I let other people give me advice that before were such cerebral trips. There was a lot that weighed on me. If the lyrics are super intentional and literal, I'm just going to do it. If I feel awkward in a photo shoot like right now, I'm just going to be awkward in the photo shoot. That is, of course, my safe and happy place in life.

[natasha-in-space]

A family get-together

GE!Saeran/gn!reader;

You and the twins decide to arrange a small picnic to make some flower-crowns and bond. Fluffy Choi family shenanigans follow suit.

You were grinning practically from ear to ear as you carefully examined the image on your phone screen. This one was definitely among your favorites for today. Nodding approvingly at the finished product, you quickly put away the device into your chest pocket and clapped your hands to catch the boys' attention once more.

"Okay guys, this one turned out great! You two look very natural, I can't wait to show you the finished result!"

You could see Saeyoung waving both of his arms at you with such enthusiasm in his movements, you'd assume that he was greeting you from a long flight home or something. The thought made you chuckle lightly as you nestled in your cozy corner under a tall tree.

"Hey-hey, Y/N! How come you're not in any of our pictures so far!? As the oldest ruling head of the upstanding House Choi, I consider such ordeal completely unacceptable to our proud family name!" The older twin's booming voice echoed across the serene meadow that you three decided to make your resting place a few hours ago. The stark contrast of such a loud noise when compared to the peaceful silence which was surrounding you mere seconds prior almost made you choke on air for a brief moment, before you managed to regain your composure once more. Judging by your partner's startled reaction, you weren't the only one taken aback by such an overenthusiastic response coming from the older twin.

Saeran grimaced, giving his brother a disapproving side-eye and huffing under his breath. Though, you could notice the faint signs of an amused smile tugging on the corners of his lips, despite his best efforts to conceal his enjoyment with Saeyoung's silly antics.

"There is no such thing as 'House Choi'... And there's no need to raise your voice like that when they're merely a few feet away from you. But... I do have to agree with you there, Hyung." He quickly glanced your way, adorably tilting his head to the side, as a curious puppy would. "You're an important part of our family now too, Y/N. It doesn't seem right to exclude you from our shared get-together like this. Just like Saeyoung said: you should be in these pictures as well."

You smiled bashfully, feeling quite flattered by the notion of being considered an official part of their close-knit family. It was an honor to share such a precious bond with these two brothers that have become so incredibly important to you throughout everything that you had to go through together. Still, you didn't want to barge in on their shared family time like this. After all, they had a whole lot to catch up on, and you wanted to provide them with all the freedom they may need.

So, you brushed off their concerns with one wave of your hand. At the end of the day, you felt more than content to simply observe them from a safe distance and capture those fleeting moments flickering between them, that you felt were most precious.

"I appreciate you thinking of me, my love, but I can assure you, that I'm totally fine! We'll have tons of other get-togethers in the future, but, for now, I just want to help you guys create some wonderful photos. It's nice to have something tangible that reminds you of some great moments you made!" You beamed, blowing a quick kiss in your boyfriend's direction and watching him flush seemingly in an instant, with a ridiculously dopey grin brightening up his soft features. It amused you even to this day, just how affectionate Saeran was when it came to you specifically. Some small part of you somewhat expected him to lose his interest in you as time passed by, but the total opposite of that was true. No matter how much time and new experiences you've shared side by side, his love for you was blooming all the same, if not even brighter. You even felt somewhat bad for ever doubting him.

Though, your reminiscing was quickly interrupted by the high-pitched whine coming from the redhead that was now sprawled out on the grass like a spoiled cat begging for attention.

"No~! I simply refuse to accept such an unfair predicament! I need my trusted sibling-in-law, I'm sure about that... Your absence is completely destroying my ability at flower crown making!"

You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his ridiculous hijinks as Saeran merely raised a brow in his brother's direction, seemingly unamused.

"They're not destroying anything, you're merely being way too rough with the stems, I told you that. Flowers are not wires, Saeyoung." He uttered, quickly coming to your defense even in this laughably silly argument.

Yup, to say that Saeyoung was not a natural at the craft of flower crown making would be an understatement. While Saeran has already managed to create at least a dozen of carefully knit flower crowns with all kinds of different blooms peeking out from under the bright green leaves, the older twin was successful at producing merely a pair of slightly bent flower crowns, to his absolute dismay. It seemed that he simply lacked the patience and gentleness of touch needed to shape a perfect flower crown. Just like Saeran has noted, he was treating the fragile wildflowers as if they were tough wires for him to bend and shape however he pleased. Though, it's not like Saeyoung was incapable of being careful with his hands - quite the opposite, actually. You've seen him working at his various robotic creations more times than you could possibly count, and his concentration was something you were even quite jealous of!

Perhaps, he was just too excited to be patient right now.

Saeyoung whimpered pitifully, covering his face with both of his hands and making his voice sound as if he was seriously crying his eyes out over his failed attempts at the perfect flower crown. And while you managed to catch onto his act right away, it looked like he was successful at tricking Saeran, judging by his genuinely concerned reaction as he bent over his twin to take a better look at his facial expression. It was quite cute to see him feeling this troubled with Saeyoung's well-being over something so trivial. Though, before he could recognize his brother's scarily convincing performance, you decided to finally get up from your distant spot and make your way over to the compact picnic blanket laid out on the soft summer grass. Saeran's attention was instantly redirected to you as he smiled warmly at your presence, reaching out for you in order to place a quick kiss on the back of your hand.

You giggled as you settled close to his side, bending forward and ruffling Saeyoung's bright red hair in a playful manner. This seemed to crumble his little act in a matter of seconds, as his dramatic whining was quickly replaced by the joyous snickering, much to Saeran's surprise.

Without a doubt, he totally knew what he was doing, and he enjoyed the attention he was getting to the fullest. Still, it was quite refreshing for you to see him being this lively again, which is why you merely chuckled at his antics, laying your head onto Saeran's shoulder and nuzzling affectionately into his shirt.

Perhaps, it's not so bad to be a little bit selfish every once in a while.

"Well, 'the oldest ruling head of the upstanding House Choi', now that I'm here, why don't we try again? See if my presence changes up much." You felt Saeran shift just a tiny bit beside you as you spoke, turning his head in your direction and placing a gentle kiss on the skin of your cheek, which quickly made your heart skip a beat.

Gosh, you really were missing him out there after all.

"While I still think that this whole 'House Choi' thing is simply ridiculous, I do believe that your presence in itself can bring good luck, my love. After all, you've been nothing but a miracle ever since you came into our lives." He murmured, delicately squeezing your hand in his own with a soft chuckle escaping past his lips.

However, before you could retort his lovey-dovey remarks with something of your own making, you were harshly interrupted by the older twin once more, as he quickly perked up into a sitting position and frantically waved his hands to get your attention.

"Hey-hey! You two lovebirds can flirt all you want after we finish the perfect flower crown!"

You snorted, raising a brow at him: "Is there really such a thing as a 'perfect flower crown' though?"

Saeyoung hummed, tapping his chin, seemingly lost in thought, all while Saeran merely sighed, pressing his cheek comfortably against the top of your head. This was definitely way better than watching them from afar.

Finally, the older Choi came up with the response, swiftly fixing his glasses and running a hand through his hair in a false bravado.

"Why of course there is, my adorable sibling-in-law! And the secret to a perfect flower crown is..." He purposefully stretched out his final words, drumming his fingers on his thigh to create a drum roll effect. At this point, you couldn't help the hushed laughter seeping through your lips, which only seemed to egg him on further.

"Ta-da! The answer is: love and care. The flowers got to feel the love coming from those who are shaping them! That's why we have to work together: they'll definitely feel the love if we create one beautiful flower crown with our shared efforts~"

This time, you heard a snicker coming from Saeran. "You're just trying to get us to do all the work for you, aren't you?"

Saeyoung let out a shocked gasp in response, puffing out his cheeks and grumpily folding his arms across his chest. "Who? Me? Now, why would I ever do something like that, dear brother of mine?"

Before this silly exchange could go on any further, you decided to step in, raising your free hand and shushing the redhead by putting a finger to his lips.

"Okay-okay, we'll do that. But, you'll have to do something in return for our services... Isn't that right, my love?" You grinned mischievously, winking at your partner, who was quick to laugh at your playful behavior, before simply nodding in agreement to your suggestion.

Though, the words that he spoke next were quite different in their nature.

"You know, I'm really glad that we decided to spend some time together like this. All three of us. Sometimes, it's still hard for me to believe that all of this is even... real. I'd never imagined that my life would turn out this way." Saeran murmured, picking up a buttercup flower resting next to a bundle of unfinished flower crowns. He didn't at all sound upset, but there was a hint of melancholy briefly flickering in his gaze as he spoke. When you looked back at Saeyoung to see his reaction, you could notice the same kind of glint in his own golden eyes, even despite his genuinely warm smile warding off your concerns. You could feel your heart clenching in your chest. Still, you decided to keep quiet for now, simply running your thumb over the soft skin of Saeran's hand in a comforting manner.

"...I know what you mean, Saeran. This peace and happiness are something we've never quite known before, right? And yet, somehow, we managed to find our happy ending. No matter what hurdles life threw at us, we found each other in the end, despite it all. Though, we have Y/N to thank for that." Saeyoung confessed, darting his gaze in your direction as he finished his thought. His smile felt somewhat bittersweet to you, but you could see that he was being truly sincere right now.

Saeran hummed, tenderly pulling you closer to his chest. You could feel the steady beat of his heart against your body as you shifted into a more comfortable position take a better look at his face.

"Yes. They're the miracle that brought us together. I'll be forever thankful for getting to meet someone as wonderful and bright as you, my love... I love you. I love you so much that it's hard to put into words..."

You reached up in order to gently cup his warm cheek into the palm of your hand, feeling a loving smile form itself on your lips before you finally spoke up.

"I know. I love you too, sunshine... But, I wasn't the one that saved you, nor Saeyoung. I did give you courage when you needed it most, and I was always there to support you in your journey... However, it was you that accomplished this happy ending. Both of you had to keep fighting against all odds and go through so much hardships... It was your choices that brought you here, not mine. I just... helped you a little bit from time to time, that's all!" You giggled as you playfully tapped the tip of his nose with your finger. The way that Saeran leaned into your touch with a small grateful smile tugging at the corners of his lips made your heart feel warmer than the summer sun itself. You could hear Saeyoung's warm laughter at your sweet exchange, suddenly reminding you that you had an audience.

"I say all of this reminiscing calls for another photo."

You grinned, looking back at him.

"How about a group hug?"

"Another photo after the group hug it is!"

[jasmintgrad604]

Week 9 SDL Pt. 2

Reflection on my poster and Unpacking my (then) elements:

Mum’s ring - A ring with my mum's nickname on it. She got it when she was younger and she gave it to me. The ring is very special to me and really symbolises the old Indian style of jewellery that was popular. 

Lolly bags - My siblings and cousins grew up walking to the dairy every week to buy lolly bags. The walk was a 30-minute walk and next to my primary school. Many times after school I would find myself at the dairy once again spending the few dollars I had in my coin purse on lollies. 

Camera - I like to take pictures of my friends and family with my 35mm camera. The grainy vintage texture and streaks of yellow and red give character to the somewhat boring images. An expensive hobby that I only pursue when I finally remember that I have a camera. This is a hobby that I want to get into more. 

Sylvanian Family toy - Toys I always begged my mum to buy me and I finally got them when I was older and didn't want to play with toys anymore. 

Bibi wedding fan - My grandma’s (bibi) fan that she made for her wedding was again used at my older sister's wedding earlier this year. The fan is a vintage Indian style handmade and hand embroidered. I've seen this fan my whole life and just recently found out that my bibi made it. She recently passed away and whenever I see the fan I think of the fond memory I have of her telling us siblings how she made it.

Travel tickets and passport - Collecting plane tickets is a memorabilia but also to add to my scrapbook; I'm a collector. Travelling is a huge part of my identity and all the cities I've visited have made me into the person I am now. 

Museum tickets - I love museums. It's a good date idea good holiday idea and a good family trip. Spending the day reading plaques and looking at beautiful artefacts from around the world is the best way to spend the day. My favourite museum was the Vatican Museum specifically the Sistine Chapel after studying it in high school I found myself in the same room where Michelangelo was over 500 years ago.

Movie tickets - I love watching films not only for the storylines and aesthetics but for the connectedness, I feel watching with someone, sharing an intimate experience where we are fully encapsulated by this movie and forget about our lives for those 2 hours. One of my chosen creatives; Annie Atkins created props and graphics for Wes Anderson’s Grand Budapest Hotel and the Isle of Dogs. 

Photobooth pictures from over the years - My siblings and friends have taken photobooth pictures over the years showing us growing up. 

Libbie's handmade flowers - Handmade flowers that my girlfriend made me and one of the first presents they made me. I keep them on my desk alongside photos. My partner is a large part of my identity as a young queer person who didn’t express her sexuality or really come to terms with it; I feel like I can finally be myself with this person and be the person young scared me wanted to be and wish I was in the future. 

[toloveandbelovedtoo]

Day 7: tears

This one is coming a little early today. Its been a week since I started this exploration and there's been so many emotions and feelings each day. Saturday I felt exhausted, I felt done, I didn't want to feel like this anymore and was fighting with my head that we needed to keep going, that this pain and discomfort was temporary. Sunday I felt so anxious in that yoga class and holding onto so many emotions that I've been working through the last however long.

I had feelings of understanding on Sunday. Understanding that I am worthy of love, that I am loved, I felt that love that I receive from so many people. I expressed my understanding and feelings to my friends that day. I didn't cry on Saturday and managed to get a little out on Sunday. I knew there was going to be a big release and I think there will be many more as I continue down this path of healing. Right now I'm laying in my bathroom my head resting on a squishmallow and covered in a small blanket while I hold a seal stuffie. I cried a lot before writing this and I'm shaking as I type.

I felt anxious for the last few hours, thinking I was responsible for someone's own sad emotions. I was worried I had hurt someone I care for and trying to think of how to fix it and make it better. The person never expressed to me that I was the cause of anything they were feeling. As far as I'm aware, I haven't done anything to claim responsibility for my actions and I know that I can't make assumptions, I have to wait until someone tells me something I did or said hurt them.

Growing up, I felt like I was responsible for the emotional well-being of the people around me. I needed to ensure my mother was happy, because if she was happy then the house could be at peace. I had to make sure my twin was happy, because if she wasn't, she might physically hurt herself. I carried that weight on my back to ensure my house was okay. Sometimes my twin would cry and talk about wanting to die, so I would walk us to the library a few miles away because if we were there, then we would be safe. My mom wasn't home in the afternoons or evenings, often I wouldn't see her until bed time so I was the parent.

I remember going to the bathroom to shower and I would sit on my knees hunched over as the water hit my back. I would cry and sob to myself, telling myself that I'm a good person, that I'm a good daughter, that I'm trying so hard, and that all I want to be is to be loved. I still do that from time to time, I remember crying a few months ago just saying out loud that all I want is to be loved. And logically, I know I am loved. There are so many people in my life that love me, but because of how I grew up, it's taken me so long to really understand what that feels like. I'm scared of losing all that I built and I won't be strong enough.

I'm sharing this photo of me crying not because I'm looking for attention or sympathy, though if y'all have pet photos I would be glad to see those. I wanted to show me at my most vulnerable, to show a side of me that I don't let people see. I've always been smiles and radiating energy, I've always tried to be like sunshine, warm, bright, happy. But that not always me, that's a part of me, but I'm also grumpy, I get sad, I get annoyed with client calls, I hate standing in lines, I cry a lot and Im not always strong. Sometimes I just want to be taken care of and I don't want to feel guilty for asking for that.

A friend and I were talking the other day about therapy and life and he had mentioned that what it seems I'm looking for is to be seen. I want my abuse acknowledged, I don't want to have to hide it away and sort of "move on" from it. I hate the idea of saying well that happened, but let's go heal and move forward because I want to sit in that mud and just be sad about it for a bit. I think there's a part of healing that isn't really visible or recognized and that just getting to hold your muddiness and give it space and getting to be sad.

I hated the idea an ex-friend had told me about "suck it up buttercup" because I want to confront my past, I want to look at it and be seen and hold it for a moment so then I can get all the feelings out that I never had the chance to in the past. I don't want people to say, oh Taylor he's so brave he's a survivor look at how amazing he's doing. I don't want to always be strong. I want to be sad, I want to be weak, I want to let my inner child cry so that adult Taylor can grow where he could not previously.

I cried today because I was scared I wasn't a good person, that everything I was working for was going to come crumbling beneath me. I was scared my friends would leave me as some had done before, I was scared that none of this was going to work out. I'm still scared, this is all new territory for me to be so open like this and to put it all out on display. It's so new to think about what a healthy love feels like and to just let myself be vulnerable, visible, and receptive to love. I'm scared as I strengthen my foundation with these new bricks.

[natswritingz]

Sexting next door / Sam x Reader

Note : This is my first fic in I don’t know how long, I tried my hardest so I really hope at least someone can enjoy this lol, also might be typos!

Words : 2.4k

Warnings : Sexting, exchanging pictures, dirty dirty talking, talk of oral/penetration/dry humping, swearing, lots of stuff.

The last week had been occupied with a hunt which ended with the three of you searching the woods for an old cemetery, laying all the buried souls to rest. Working with the Winchesters made the gigs easier. You found some joy in their presence, especially around Sammy.

You guys obviously had crushed on eachother, Sammy made the most moves while you took them as innocent jokes. You just didn't want to complicate anything for anyone.

You all had just got back to the motel, while the brothers shared a room like always, you got your own right next door. Your phone sat next to you as you pried off your dirt caked boots, hidden graveyards were something else. The device chimed with Sams assigned ringtone, you grabbed it in eagerness.

"You get settled in?"

You smiled at the text, he knew how to make you feel special even if it's a simple check in. You struggled with a response that sounded natural, typing then deleting, you finally wrote one and went with it.

"Yeah, just got the boots off lol"

"Are you getting anything good on the tv?"

"Nope, nothing"

That was a lie, you haven't even looked at the tv yet, but he didn't know that. You began unbuttoning your grimy top, feeling the cool air nip at your skin while the material still hung on your shoulders. You bit your lip as you typed another text to follow your previous one.

"Finally getting out of these clothes too"

You locked your phone quickly with embarrassment, you couldn't believe what you just sent. He was your friend, but the entire day he had been constantly flirting which made the temptation even harder to resist. The phone chimed after what felt like ages.

"Me too, I was able to get the shower first"

You read the text through squinted eyes, terrified to read his response with fully opened eyes. Your mind trailed to the image of him without anything on, the warm water running down his toned body, it made your heart race.

"Just about to get in"

You nervously pulled at your lip while intently watching the screen.

"Maybe I should hop in too, hot water sounds amazing right now"

"Do it, I'll keep you company ;)"

The wink confirmed it. He was leaving an opening for you to accept or decline before pursuing anything more.

"I'm taking off my clothes right now, what are you doing?"

"Turning the shower on, already undressed"

"I wish I could see that"

He opened it and hasn't responded in a while, you completely fucked it up. You cursed at yourself before seeing the tiny text bubble come up and disappear a few times until one finally came in.

"I wish I could see you take off those jeans, I could not stop staring at your ass today. All I wanted to do was pounce on you, you've been all I could think of."

You gulped at his message, this was would be your first time sexting, you were already loving it. You felt yourself getting excited at his message, reading it over and over. You pulled your shirt off the rest of the way.

"You were looking? That's very unprofessional of you, Sammy. If only I knew, I would've been 'accidentally' grinding against you all day."

Both of your tones suddenly changed, it wasn't the laid back no-period texts you normally exchanged, it was dirty and intriguing. You couldn't wait for him to respond.

"If you had done that, I don't think I would've been able to control myself."

"What would you have done? I would've loved to feel you press against my ass, I'm clenching my thighs just thinking about it."

"I would've pulled you into the nearest room and commanded you to grind against me until you came in your pretty panties."

You groaned at the thought, Sammy made dry humping sound hot, he could probably make any sexual act sound compelling.

"How do you know what panties I wear?"

You found yourself completely wrapped in texting back and forth you forgot about your plans to shower. Deciding to get comfortable, you leaned back onto the comforter. You were invested in where this was going, a shower could wait, unlike this.

"I've done your laundry and seen you in your undergarments before. I think I pretty much know everything about you, Y/N."

"I'm imaging my lace covered pussy grinding against your bulge covered by your boxers. It would feel so good to have you rub against me. I'd be soaking through my panties you could definitely see it dampening both our cloths."

You wanted to get dirtier so you tested the water, you wrote the first thing you thought of. It may have been a little too forward but your lust clouded all rational thinking.

"Jesus. My imagination might not be doing this scenario justice, I think we'd have to try it out next time we see eachother."

The elation in you grew with each suggestion.

"And when will that be?"

"If you keep it up, soon. Have you stripped yet?"

Sam was a great dom, he wanted everything to be in his control and you couldn't help but like it. You could trust him with control.

"I've been so busy with our little daydreams, I forgot I was even going to shower. Laying in bed still partially clothed."

"Take your pants off now, then give your ass a nice spank for me. Make it sting."

You followed his orders, placing the phone to your side as you lifted your hips to remove the jeans. You held the phone again as you flipped, now laying on your stomach, you used your free hand to rub on your cheek before giving it a sharp smack.

"Both are done, I'm thinking this might leave a mark?"

You raised your phone in a rush of confidence, snapping a photo of your ass and the handprint that reddened with time, attaching it to your message, and sending it without any hesitation. The mark was not as big as Sam could do and you dearly wished it was his hand instead.

"Fucking hell Y/N, I was not expecting that. You're making me want to come over right now to fuck you senseless."

"What do I do next? Still have my panties and bra on."

"Take your bra off baby girl, play with your nipples till they're both hard. Pinch them, flick them, be rough with it."

It was easy for you to follow his words, you found yourself loving his demands and dominance, you could keep following them for hours. You held yourself up with an elbow, you pinched the tip hard between your fingertips, rolling them slightly for more stimulation. You moaned with each uncoordinated flick.

"They're feeling so sensitive now."

You attached another picture, your tits in frame with your now erect and red nipples. After his reaction with the last one, you wanted to get more from him.

"So so perfect. Picture I'm there, sucking and biting on them. My warm breath fanning your soft skin. I want to make you feel good."

"You're making me feel good right now, I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"We can stop whenever you get uncomfortable, I want you to be good with all of this."

His message made you smile through the lust, he really did care about you. It wasn't the most ideal timing, but you could easily get worked back up again with his skills.

"Sorry, never wanna stop this <3"

You shook your head with a small laugh as you flirted.

"Good, me neither. You still have your panties on like a good girl?"

"Haven't taken them off yet, you haven't told me to."

"Sounds like someone's enjoying being bossed around, huh? What if I told you to suck me off, would you do it?"

"I'd let you throat fuck me. I want to gasp for my breath when you finally pull from my mouth."

"Your lips look perfect for my cock, I want to see them wrapped around me as I thrust into your mouth."

"I want you to be as rough as you can, Sammy."

You flipped over to your back once again, your hand dipping into your undies, rubbing soft circles over your clit as you awaited another message. You wanted to invite him over that instant but you had to resist the urge, sexting was fun and a good first step for the two of you.

"I've finally entered the shower, I'm stroking myself to the pictures you sent me. Kinda hard keeping the phone dry."

You laughed a little to yourself at the end of his message.

"Your turn?"

Not that your heart hadn't been pounding the entire time, your recent text made it even faster. You bit your lip in anticipation, you couldn't lie to yourself, you've always wondered what he was packing. And just like that, you revived a picture. Your jaw clenched at his size and width, you weren't entirely sure you'd be able to fit him if you ever got to doing this stuff in person. It was hot and impressive.

"How am I going to fit all of you? I don't think any amount of wetness would prepare me for you."

"We'll make it fit princess, I wanna see your warm pussy stretch around me. Fuuuck, I want you so bad Y/N."

"I want you bad too, maybe our next session can be face to face. I can't imagine how you'll make me feel when I have your hands on me instead of my own."

"You touching yourself right now? I don't remember telling you to stop playing with your tits."

"I couldn't take it anymore, I was aching for some relief."

That was true, your pussy throbbed for attention to the point it hurt to not touch yourself. No one else had this affect over you, making you soak through your lace like nothing.

"Fine, you can touch yourself as long as you don't cum until I allow you, and take it easy, I want you to enjoy this."

"Yes, Sammy."

You slowed down, rubbing slow circles on your aroused clit. Everything was heightened and sensitive, what was he doing to you?

"I'm touching myself, paced instead of rushed. I wish this was your hand. Not gonna lie, I constantly think of how good your large hands would feel on my body."

"Where?"

His response was immediate after he quickly read your message, considering what he told you just a little ago, you knew he was getting off to your little conversation.

"On my ass, in my pussy, around my throat. Even you holding my hands above my head or behind my back sounds like a pleasure. I want you to touch and explore every part of me."

The typing bubble appeared just as it did when he responded to every other text, this time you cut off his response with another one of your own, you wanted to get him really worked up.

"For future reference, I'd probably cum instantly with your tongue on my clit and your fingers in me as deep as they'd go."

You weren't a newbie when it came to sex, you knew what you wanted in the bedroom. Being a hunter and constantly hopping town to town, you had your occasional one night stand to release the stress that came with your job.

"Oh really? You want me buried in you while tasting you all at once? I can do that for you princess, I've been wanting to taste you. I'd eat you out till you came on my tongue then I'd make you kiss me, deep."

"You already know I'd return the favor."

You referred back to your message you sent not long ago about going down on him.

"We haven't even talked about getting to the main act and you've got me almost cumming. I had to slow my pace in order to not finish."

You smirked at his reply, biting your lip with a small groan as you still touched yourself. You were hoping you had the same effect on him that he had on you.

"Let's get onto the main act then. How'd you want to fuck me?"

"I can think of a few ways... But I most definitely want to see myself slide in and out of you. I want to enjoy every bit."

"Maybe my hands holding onto the back of my thighs while laying on my back? Everything would be on display."

"I could put your legs up on my shoulders and get really deep in you. Wouldn't that feel good?"

"I'd be seeing stars. And I would not be able to walk afterwards. Feeling you brush against my cervix repeatedly with your big cock, you're gonna fill me so good."

"Y/N you're gonna make me cum. Speed up."

With his permission, you started to rub faster. You moaned loudly, forgetting about anyone else in the seedy motel.

"Fuck, keep moaning."

You blushed in embarrassment, he could hear you from their rooms bathroom which definitely meant Dean could hear you, the strangers on the opposite side didn't concern you. You allowed yourself to moan with each lap, not holding back the cries. You went on for a minute before diverting your attention back to the phone.

"Imagine how much louder I'd be with you inside me."

"I've been thinking about all the noises you'd be making the entire time. You sound so hot. Are you close?"

"Yeah Sammy, I'm almost there."

Your breathing pattern became rapid and harsh, small wines escaping your lips as you played yourself to perfection.

"Beg for permission to cum."

You groaned at his response.

"Please let me cum, please Sam, I'm not sure I can hold it."

It was hard enough holding back your release but even harder to beg with one hand.

"You can cum baby, just cause you've been so good."

Your body released the tension, the relief rolling in as you came in your panties, finally. It hit you hard, your hips shaking as you moaned louder than earlier. You couldn't deny it, you never orgasmed like that when you were doing it solo.

"I couldn't help but finish to your moans"

His response was like his usual ones, not so formal and more playful. You could get used to seeing both sides regularly.

"We should do this more often, or try it in person, either one"

"I am 100% on board with that"

If for some reason you wanna be notified when I post a new fic, leave a comment to be tagged and your username will go here!

[for-the-ninth]

Photo is a commission from the amazing @palepinkycat, who brought this touching scene to life well before I'd written it down. Forever grateful for this gorgeous art ✨❤️😭

Getting a jump on WIP Wednesday, and this time I'm sharing an excerpt from Cullen's perspective in the midst of lyrium withdrawal. I always found it odd that DA lore repeatedly mentions how awful and dangerous withdrawal is, yet in DA:I Cullen quits it like cigarettes. I decided to lean into his symptoms more, and since he's in solitary confinement, I chose the format of journal entries from his perspective.

Lyrium Withdrawal: Day 14

It’s been hours—days?—since the nightmare, and I still feel trapped within it. His name—the apprentice I killed—Maker, what was his name? And the others before him, the ones who turned, what were their names? Why can’t I remember? Cole says it doesn’t matter now, because they’re dead, and I should focus on a future among the living. But it should've been me. I should be dead, and cast out to the Void, for I have spit in the Maker’s face, and I should expect no mercy.

He took me by the shoulders then, the boy, and I wondered if it was real, because I saw his hands, yet couldn’t feel them. Perhaps it was a hallucination, but he looked in my eyes and said, ‘Uldred marked you, but didn’t make you. You stayed you.’ And he said it with such conviction that I almost believed him. 

Tags & rambles under the cut!

Tags: @noire-pandora @oxygenforthewicked @a11sha11fade @scribbledquillz @charmcity-jess @roguelioness @teknicianwrites @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul and anyone else who wants to hop in!

So a few months ago, I got to thinking about Cullen's withdrawal and how I wanted to write it. I knew I'd write him as voluntarily submitting himself to confinement under the assumption he'd die, and I knew at that point, he and Shielan wouldn't be on good enough terms for her to offer him more than a cell and two meals a day.

Cullen left the Order and joined the Inquisition believing he'd find new purpose within it, and that stability has been taken from him (deservedly, and he knows that, but it doesn't soften the blow). It's alone in this cell, hallucinating between nightmares and struggling to keep food down, that he hits rock bottom. And who better to meet you at rock bottom than our beloved spirit son, Cole?

I gravitated to Cole as a comforter because he just is a comforter! His compassion knows no bounds, and he's already shown himself capable of forgiving people for heinous acts and seeing the good that lies beneath. He's the perfect foil for a man who's suffocated by guilt and wonders what else he has to live for, and I've grown quite fond of imagining these two bonding over shit like Ferelden cuisine and poorly written novels.