#(so i was stuck with plots and shit that i had begun to hate. and i didn't have a good intuitive grasp on)

[definitelynotplanetfall]

Fun fact: "suggestions are poison and you cannot read fanworks, and you are expected to uphold this regime as The Only Way Things Can Be" is the 2nd biggest reason I decided to completely abandon writing fiction

[according2thelore]

different anon jumping in here but hot damn i'd read 500k of just your slice of life vignettes about this ls/es crossover. plot is so beyond unnecessary for this one holy shit just please hit a million word count giving us this juice. not sure if you had plans for first time/established but i'm now fantasizing about the added layers of all the varieties of it. the dark spiraly angst of es!bros who never crossed the line and have just barely begun to think about it, all naked panic and throes of guilt and excitement, trapped in a timeline with ls!bros who crossed it years back and can't help poking at the es versions of themselves bc they both know how hard it was for them. or, even better, if all 4 are still sort of peeking over the fence at the possibilities and ls!bros are going on year 30 of angsty mutual pining and here come the versions of themselves who made these emotions the ugliest that they ever were ... yum. yummyyyyyy please keep going

AAAA thank you so much!!!!!! :,)

i'm so honoured and glad that you like them! 🥰 these are so fun to write, so i hope you all keep thinking they're interesting, lol!

in my head, i've been picturing ES!Sam&Dean as being not "together," and as LS!Sam&Dean as being pretty firmly together/established.

it happened around a year and a half back, the slow realization that they both felt the same way, that the ownership and protectiveness and fear that close wouldn't be close enough, that they had for a while--single digits while. there wasn't any big "thing" that did it, just a bad hunt and a slow recovery and with all the god business, it just seems fair that they finally get to have this. it doesn't even feel like anything "new," more like an extension of what they already are to each other, what they already do. more of an equilibrium, a homeostasis, the world settling back into how it is supposed to be.

sometimes dean finds himself in the reflex of leaning away before he remembers that he can actually lean forward if he wants to. sam kicks his brother's shins under the table when he's being a dick but kisses him afterwards.

but ES!Sam&Dean are still stuck in the early stages. ES!Dean spent years mourning and hating sam for leaving, thumbing old polaroids of him in his middle school theater costume until the film starts to peel away and the picture underneath chips. sam had been hoping that the time apart would make his stomach less riotous, something with more ability to be tamed, but after jess and during the quiet moments spent in motel rooms, driving while sun filters through the windscreen and warming denim-clad legs and old leather, sam realizes that nothing has changed.

it makes him feel even more wretched because was he using jess this whole time? no. he loved her. he really did. dean just chips away at the hardest parts of his grief, the most isolating, with quips and burgers and big, earnest eyes. but how can someone find space for anything that's not dean in their chest, when he looks over with a betrayed moue and his hand glued to a beer bottle?

with sam's nightmares shaking him awake almost nightly, they've gotten in the habit of touching each other, fingers on wrists and dean's palm at the back of his neck and ankles crossing under tables and eyes tracking chapped lips and sides pressed together all the way down shoulders-biceps-forearms-waists-hips-thighs.

so when ES!Dean tries to find LS!Dean to ask him about the keys to the armory--because, hey, cool--he sees the door to his bedroom open. he sees the two pillows. sam's house shoes on one side of the bed. dean's on the other. the lube on the fucking nightstand that they don't even bother to put away because who ever comes over

and ES!Dean is...floored. fucking agog. and he gets even more flustered around LS!Sam and more convinced that this is some kind of alternate timeline/universe or something in which sam actually wants him back

he's blushing whenever LS!Sam looks at him and can't stop looking up at his not-so-little brother, built like a statue and making dean sweat with his fond smiles. he can't stop jerking off to imagining what it would be like to pull him down into a kiss, or feeling him from behind as he presses in. and this makes LS!Dean even more unworthy in ES!Dean's opinion, a murdering bastard drowning in gold and splendour. he thinks about it all the time--can't stop thinking about it. ES!Dean tries to catch LS!Sam's attention like 'me too, right? i'm good enough too, right?'

plus, it also fuels his anger at LS!Dean bc how did sam find out? how did this happen? did you force sam into this, you sick fuck? we swore on mom's grave that he'd never find out. no way sam actually wants us, no fucking shot.

if ES!Sam finds out, it would all kind of blow up, i think. it would be messy and sam would be furious because is that what ES!Dean's been trying to do and why he suddenly can't look either sam in the eye?? he wants to fuck LS!Sam?? what is different about him that ES!Sam doesn't have? it's kind of a betrayal on both fronts: a brother that only wants a specific not-ES!Sam version of sam, and a version of his older self that steals his brother out from under him.

not to mention, the whole time LS!Sam&Dean are looking at their younger selves with a weird mix of glee and pity, bc they don't even know yet, know what the word "brother" means, how it can mean everything at once, and to what extents they are willing to go to keep each other.

ARGH! it would be so messy!!! the tangled webs of longing and possession and just sheer goddamn need!

but anon!!!! you're so right!!!!!!!!! if neither of them are together, and suddenly they have to interact with these younger versions of themselves, who, if they can't have each other--who knows? with their big eyes and clear admiration and longing? these feelings have never been easy, but with ES!Sam&Dean, they're so messy. they bleed want, and it's agonizing to witness. idk...makes u think...

anyway. thank you for this lovely ask anon! and for your kind words!! if only i could write a million words about them, lol! x <3

-lizzy

(for the new: ES = early seasons, LS = late seasons; the other ES/LS posts can be found here!)

[j0nika]

HOLD UP, since your mom bought Rebellion for you as a birthday present, is today your birthday?!

Also…how was it…? I hope you liked it! (Of course if you have trouble processing what happened, feel free to ask)

That was the best movie

i have ever watched.

i went through all 5 stages of grief within the matter of 5 minutes.

SPOILERS FOR MADOKA MAGICA REBELLION BELOW!

i feel like i have never been so touched by a piece of media in my life

since the movie is so long, im not going to touch on every part, only the ones that were the most important to me

I WAS VERY CONFUSED AT THE BEGINNING. it was a huge surprise that the world had been fake (pretty much), because i was almost positive that was homura in her early stages of time travelling....NO. everything had already happened...

when they had begun talking about how the world was created by a witch, i was confused on how Bebe was relevant, since there had been no previous mention of them...and for them to imagine this ENTIRE WORLD just didnt sit right with me. once they started to mention it a little more, i had immediately known it was homura.

still, i started to get emotional when the world started to burn, and it was revealed that homura really was behind this. homura had been the thing she had sworn not to trust, what she hated with all her heart, trapped in her own cage she was trying to escape from...quite literally. that in itself was pretty beautiful to me :(

after all of that, when homura had pretty much sentenced herself to death to make sure that madoka would not be taken advantage of, madoka ended up trying so hard to save homura...i think that their love for eachother is definitely mutual, even if it seems like homuras might overpower madokas, i know that madoks truly cares about keeping homura safe and even in a moment of sacrifice madoka still just longed to be with homura and didnt want her to end that way, it was such a heartwarming moment

especially when god madoka came down to help homura, i started tearing up, it was really pretty and i had these lighst going on in my room and i was wondering the whole time "what does fantasy mean by people dont like what homura does at the end? everything seems fine right now!"

........

HOMURA

WHAAAAAATTTTT?!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Holy FUCKING SHIT I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.

I THINK THAT WAS MY *FAVORITE* PLOT TWIST THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN AN ANIME...IT SERIOUSLY BROUGHT OUT ALL THE EMOTIONS IN ME

i was STARING at my tv with my mouth open i could not believe it.....AND WHEN SHE STARTED TO SMILE, I GOT SUPER EXCITED!! I tend to accidently headcanon characters insanity as the smiling insanity, as if they broke, and i had started drawing homura like that but figured it wasnt fitting for her.....DAMN WAS I WRONG!!!!

i LOVE how homura had become an obsessive....not quite lustful, but more...PURELY EVIL DEMON....who had seperated madokas human form and god form to create a madoka who would be able to live happily (i believe?) with an altered memory...GOD, that scene was so POWERFUL, ive been stuck thinking about it all day today....DAMNIT HOMURA, I LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU ARE EVIL!!! And this insane character development just made me love her even more!!!!!!!

then, at the end, when madoka had ended up quickly reuniting with her god form....and the way that homura said that the ribbons look better on madoka....JESUS...i was THIS CLOSE TO CRYING!!! it was almost a bittersweet ending, and that was the best route they couldve chosen...i couldnt tell if i felt sad, at peace.....it was really really beautiful!

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

that scene with the flower field....THE SCENE WITH THE FLOWER FIELD HAD ME NEAR SOBBING...i thought it was gorgeous and the way that they hugged...the thought that this would be one of the last times homura would be able to hear madoka say those heartfelt things to her, just seeing her sit there....it was really blissful :(

THE SCENE WITH THE STATUE TURNING TO TAR!!!! that was AMAZING symbolism, holy shit! i just kinda stared at the tv for a little bit...its as if homuras love was infecting madoka....i love it so much.

i cant quitteee remember this one very well, but when madoka started t-posing and sunk into the ground, becoming this liquid, the homura becoming liquid, then a mini homura smashing it up? I DONT THINK IM REMEMBERING IT RIGHT, but i just know that it kind of hit me, it reminded me of no matter how hard homura had kept trying to save madoka, she kept dying...and all she went through within all of the timelines were ultimately very small and hardly mattered, since in the end, she failed...THATS HOW I SAW IT!

(and also, the fight with mami was AMAZING!!!! The music, the combat, the intensity, oh my god!! and when homura shot herself, and then held it up to mami, i was like WHATS GOING ON?!?!?)

this movie was absoloutely beautiful, touching, intense, i....literally have no words to describe it.

I PROBABLY WOULDVE NEVER GOTTEN TO WATCHING IT IF YOU DIDNT RECCOMEND IT TO ME FANTASY!!! THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH...that was *seriously* one of the best experiences of my life, i went through so much in such a little amount of time...the fascinating scenery with the witches and the everything looked amazing as always, this was just a very very special and UNIQUE movie to me and i stayed involved the whole time...I DONT THINK ANYTHING THAT ILL EVER WATCH WILL TOP THAT, HONESTLY.....

thank you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! I LOVED IT!!! 10000000/10.....it genuinely couldnt have been better!!!!! and it only made me love homura even more!!!!!!!!

(ALSO, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, it is not my birthday! my birthday is in 9 days, march 16th! STILL COUNTS AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!)

[aceviscontiswife]

Beneath the Mask

What happens when a survivor finally s n a p s ?

Warnings: murder, mutilation of bodies, insanity, survivor considers themselves a god, carving words into bodies, I basically went wild with this. It’s also a tad unrealistic. Just a tad.

No longer could you stand being stuck with this sad, scared, pathetic survivors. You had never been able to connect with them, their hope was still alive and flowing through their veins. Their smell of false innocence made you sick… you wished to be free of their presence, away from their shit excuse of a leader; Dwight. He was nothing but a coward who would let his teammates die without thought. Of course, you would too, but you did not cower when in the presence of a killer. Lockers were for the weak. You longed to rid yourself of the so-called survivors.

You had begun to plot the survivors against eachother, relishing in their arguments and death as they fought to discover who had been ‘working’ with the killer. They didn’t know it was you, they never would. You doubt anyone even knew your name. You spent your time alone, listening to the harsh whispers of the entity as it invaded your ears. With each passing trial you felt the urge to snap grow… you wanted to deface every survivor and expose them for the fool they truly were. Nea, a murderer. Dwight, a liar. David, weak. These were the truths that needed to be revealed and your job was to reveal them.

The urges were strong, so strong they brought you great pain. Pain you dealt with and endured as you sat behind a tree, eavesdropping on a conversation between Jeff and Claudette. They seemed to trust eachother, which infuriated you but you needed to ignore your foolish emotions. Jeff, who was usually calm and collected, sounded fearful as he seeked for comfort from Claudette.

“I’m scared, Clau. I mean, I’ve had the killer lead to me game after game. I trust that it isn’t you, but I can’t figure out who it could be.” Jeff sighs, looking down at his feet. Claudette places her hand on his, squeezing it lightly. “It could be the entity. This isn’t the first time it’s made things difficult for us and it won’t be the last. I hate to see people fighting… even Kate is beginning to snap at people.” Upon hearing this news you cracked a smile, the first one in a long time. The hopeful songbird was becoming nothing but a sickly mockingbird, one that would soon perish… lost forever in the darkest depths of the realm and turned into a story for survivors to tell. A myth… a nobody. Just like Benedict, every survivor would be nothing but a note left behind for the new sacrifices to read.

Everything in this realm was upside down. Everyone lived a lie, their façade beginning to crack and show the true emotion within them. You lived for it. You had grown bored of Jeff and Claudette, finding their fear and hate to be irrelevant. Yes, every match survivors were dying within minutes. But it wasn’t the entity, it was you. How you did it was something only you would ever know, a secret to keep for eternity. You could see that the killers had begun to relax. Frank didn’t even use frenzy anymore. Danny would track you down and converse with you, prying for information that you would never give. Wesker was jealous of your power and you could tell. You had the entity wrapped around your finger… you were the true god of this realm and you knew it.

You wanted to devour those who stood in your way. You wanted to show their true faces. You wanted to sit at a campfire with killers, not with the prey. You wanted to be almighty. Your cold, dead eyes lit up at the thought of blood gushing down the bodies of the sacrifices… their face mutilated in order to expose what they hid. You wanted the self-appointed leader to see what he truly led before he suffered the same fate of his followers. The entity’s voice grew louder within your ears, and a soft smile grew on your face as an iridescent, blood engraved knife was put into your hand.

The entity wanted this. You were the messiah. They would worship you. The truth-bringer. A shiner of light. The knife felt light in your hand, though you knew it was heavy. Your body felt colder than usual, but other than that you felt nothing. No emotion. No pain. Nothing. You put your hands behind your back, concealing the knife as you stepped out from behind the tree, slowly making your way towards Jeff and Claudette. Instead of seeing their regular selves, you saw their pale, lifeless bodies, their dead eyes staring into you as blood trickled down them like tears. On their foreheads they had a word. On Jeffs: nobody. On Claudettes: coward. Their arms were broken, ragged bones sticking out with the word on their forehead carved into them.

“Yes…?” Claudette struggled to remember your name, and Jeff didn’t even bother to try helping her. You got as close as you could behind Jeff, who was looking over his shoulder at you, his brow raised. “Do you need something?” He asked kindly, though you could tell he was uncomfortable.

“Coward. Nobody.” You couldn’t recognize your voice. It had been so long since you had used it that it sounded unnatural. Claudette stood, visibly distressed but trying her best to be polite. “What? D-Did someone say that to you..? If so, t-t-they’re lying, I promise… Okay?” She approached you slowly, her hands shaking involuntarily. Jeff had stood as well, the log he had sat on a divider between you two.

“Listen… you’re starting to worry us. If someone said that to you then we’re sorry. You’re just very quiet and some don’t like that.” Jeff said, unable to meet your gaze. You nod slowly, turning your head to look at Claudette.

“He’s Ri-“ you cut her off as you revealed your knife, plunging it deep into Jeff’s chest and pulling it out with a sickening squelch. Claudette screamed, trying to run but your hand is quick to grab her arm, pulling her back with so much force that she went tumbling to the ground. She landed on Jeff’s legs, who laid in the dirt coughing up blood as it entered his lungs.

“No! No please! We didn’t do anything, PLEASE!” Claudette begs, tears streaming down her face as she scrambled backwards, fear leaving her completely vulnerable and unable to stand. She begged for mercy. For her life. Soon forgetting about the dying man laying only a few feet from her. “Please… You don’t know if we’ll come back.. Don’t do this!” You couldn’t help but laugh. You knew they wouldn’t return from this. And if they did? You’d kill them again and again, showing less mercy with each stab.

“You will not.” You promised, before stabbing the knife straight into Claudette’s head, easily penetrating her skull and burying your knife into her brain. She died almost instantly, her cries for help coming to a halt. But, you weren’t satisfied. The pair deserved to suffer for eternity with a constant reminder of who they really are. So, just as you had seen earlier, you remove your knife from Claudette’s head and begin carving the word ‘coward’ onto her forehead, wiping away the blood until the entity had dried it. You moved to her arms, breaking them with ease. You stabbed and broke until her humerus and radius were on full display, carving ‘coward’ into the bone.

You moved onto Jeff, who had died minutes ago. You carved ‘nobody’ into his forehead, breaking his arms and carved it onto the bone as well. You stood and took a step back, admiring your work. You were drenched in blood, bringing your fingers to your mouth and licking them clean. You left the scene, searching for the next group of unfortunate survivors.

It wasn’t long until bodies were scattered around you, each with their own special word carved onto their foreheads. You decided to use different bones, such as carving ‘weak’ on David’s femur. Dwight was sat in front of you, both legs broken, leaving him stuck with you and the bodies of those he called friends. His glasses were shattered, broken into pieces next to him. Tears streamed down his face, and he stared helplessly at Nea. You had Nea pinned to the ground with you knife deep in her back.

“Fuck you…” she spat out, yelling out in pain as you twisted the knife around. She had been difficult to catch, you’d give her that, but one thing Nea Karlsson can’t escape is you. You were unstoppable. Not even Chris, Leon, Jill, or even Carlos could bring you down. They had been dealt with ages ago, their corpses almost unrecognizable. Jill had almost stopped you. Almost. You knew she was strong, she’s lived her entire life fighting. But, you could feel the entity’s power coursing through your veins and knew that nothing and no-one could defeat you. Her fight ended when your blade was plunged deep into her neck, the tip of the blade having went the entire way through, bloody and exposed as Jill immediately went limp, falling to the ground; lifeless.

“You fought well, Valentine.” You kneel down and rip your knife out of her neck, blood spurting out of the wound. Instead of carving a word on her forehead, you rip the badge off of her waist belt, ripping it in half and letting the pieces fall onto her chest.

Dwight tries to escape by dragging himself with his arms, though he wasn’t able to get very far. The pain was unbearable, he was stuck on the ground writhing in pain. “Why are you doing this..?” Dwight asks weakly, earning a pained scoff from Nea. “I-I always knew you were a- a fraud..” Nea spits at you, wheezing as another gush of blood seeped through her wound. She continued to insult you as best as she could, Dwight’s quiet sobs begging you to let him go. But, you heard none of it. Only one thing was on your mind.

Fraud.

Nea Karlsson called you a fraud.

You. Were. Not. A. Fraud.

Overtaken by anger, you rip the knife out of her back and began stabbing it into her back, again and again until Nea’s screams were no more. You were covered in her blood, licking off what was on the blade. Dwight let out a sob, only able to watch you murder the last survivor he had left. He was alone. He was scared. He was going to die. You toss Nea’s body aside, making your way over to Dwight. You grabbed his chin and made him look up at you. His eyes were red and swollen, and the cut on his cheek bled profusely.

“What a pathetic leader..” Your words were laced with venom, your nails digging into Dwight’s chin. “If only you could have lead them properly.” Dwight was too stunned to speak. You pressed down on his leg, evoking a scream and a weak sob from Dwight. “I will show them all who you truly are.” Dwight’s eyes screwed shut when you tried to show him your bloody knife, his lip quivering as he mutters a quiet, begging “Please…”

“Goodbye, Fairfield.”

The bloodcurdling scream from Dwight echoed through the lifeless forest as your blade was dug deep into Dwight’s eyelid. You began to carve out his eye. His screams were music to your ears. You were exposing him for the man he really was. You sliced through the optic nerve of his eye, Dwight’s screams having faded as he fell unconscious. If carving out his eyes didn’t kill him, bleeding out would. You rip the eye out, turning it upside down and slicing a deep hole in his cheek, burying the eye inside until all that was exposed was the white of his eye and the pupils which had once been full of life. You repeat this process with the other eye, moving onto his mouth.

It was difficult avoiding his jaw and teeth, but you successfully carved out his lips, slicing away whatever skin and muscle that hadn’t already been cut away. Dwight was dead, his face wasn’t even recognizable anymore, the only part of him that would give him away is the bloody, loose tie. You cut into his forehead, flipping the mouth upside down and digging it into the wound on his forehead. Content with your work, you drag Dwight’s body to a tree, leaning him against it and giving his blood drenched head a pat.

You step back, admiring your work. The lifeless eyes of the survivors staring into yours. You felt nothing. You had saved them from themselves. You were ready for the killers side, they’d understand you there. They showed themselves as who they are, and not the face they put on out of fear. Your legs carry you away from the campfire, you look over your shoulder and your eyes meet with Dwight’s. Just as you had imagined… you saw what you had always wanted to see:

You saw beneath the mask.

***

Alright! I wanted to have this out yesterday but I got a surprise visit from family. I’m more proud of this than I expected to be. I’m at a loss of ideas for what to write next (which is a pain in the ass lol) but I’m sure something will hit me at 3:00am while I’m scrolling through tumblr (requests are always appreciated as well!). Hope you enjoy, love ya!

[multitrackdrifting]

G-Witch Episode 21 Thoughts/Theories [Spoilers ahead]

These are the predictions I've made for how the season will play out

Fake Death [this one's still possible]

Guel to Gundam Schwarzette (to be fair, this is the most enigmatic Mobile Suit in a very long time so it was just a guess that he would get it as a "power-up", but since he's still firmly about protecting his father's legacy, despite not really knowing what this means in its totality [as shaddiq pointed out]).

Guel Jeturk will go through a redemption arc since the plot has been building him up to that since the beginning. He has not actively hindered the girls' ambitions since like episode 4, which is why it was kinda funny to watch people hate on him every week. The difference in his reaction to rejection/failure in romance is completely opposite to Shaddiq's so I'd say that as the meme goes "the lgbt+ community has forgiven guel jeturk" - fun fact, most of my friends that are lesbian viewers of this show love him even before his episode on Earth hahahaha.

Shattered idealism (this one is a free one)

Datastorm/permet relationship is somewhat AI/Matrix-esque. Basically confirmed with how Quiet Zero works.

Prospera Mercury will die (or fake her death)

El5n redemption arc (it has begun)

Another thing I'd like to point out is that Gundam IBO didn't reveal a second season until the first one ended. This is not the final season.

Shaddiq is extreme, but he's meant to be. He's not exactly likeable when it comes to Miorine, but his moral highground I guess lies in what fuels his convictions, not the totality of them (i.e. a very idealised/faded picture of the world). I don't agree with what he did, but Char did things that were just as bad so I was kinda whatever about them - not saying it was right I'm just saying that it's pretty typical gundam shit.

Suletta not worrying as much and just doing is a good reflection that she's learning to have faith in her convictions, and while that's kind of a small feat, given that a lot of doubt had been cast on the person she was.. it's a big step to living without needing to know how it will affect others, more than just like, knowing "I want to believe this is the right decision". Hence, she hands out her [Mio's] tomatoes. A nice way of showing her growth without it being really forced.

A lot of people want Martin to die becuase he threw a wrench into the plot but it's just like, guy is just a tool for the narrative to advance, I have no strong feeling about a kid trying to do the right thing even he doesn't understand the socio-political implications. That's whatever considering that they were gonna have somebody take the fall, may as well be him.

QZ is functionally a WMD. It's purpose is to envelop the Earth in a storm where Eri can live and be free (this is what the others speculate anyway, Prospera may be interested in enveloping the entire universe with it, who knows).

The Datastorm in my eyes is like, if the permet concentration over Earth is that strong and its just permanently stuck like that, then yeah nothing can really do anything to it since a lot of tech in the universe is permet-based, and I would liken that to "trying to use a raw current, to stop an overflowing current". The information can flow freely on Earth, but sacrificing the Earthians and everyone overall to achieve this goal is the mark of a true villain.

The space Assembly League appears to be a U.N.-esque consolidated space-power, this is all-out war. This was Shaddiq's gambit to have the group destroyed - it was helped by Prospera Mercury's actions on Earth.

Their fleet was annihilated by Quiet Zero's web made up of the mini-MS.

At the beginning of GUND-ARM inc. it was just a bunch of people operating what they believed would be a medical equipment company, but they were more-or-less arms dealers. This has never been in doubt, marketing the Aerial, getting to collaborate with others to mass-produce Gundams, that was never ever about medicine. I don't like phrasing it like this, but Mio's idealism about the future was only allowed to take her this far because Delling let it.

That's not to shit on her intelligence or whatever, but the very explotiative and rat-race structure of the Benerit group meant that his word and confidence validated her company more than what it functionally stood for. The episode where GUND-ARM inc. is shown to be celebratory but it's largely just "the status quo being held in-tact with feigned friction". This is how I always took the company.

I like the Earth house and the kids wanting a better future, but the very exploitative world they live in with war-sharing on Earth is clearly fucked up. It's just funny to think "yeah my company is the one non-arms-dealing company in a company largely about security/war tech" built on the subjugation of Earth and privatisation of MS technology.

They did have some technologies they believed could help mankind, but you know, who is selling syringes as well as assault rifles.

Quiet Zero is a device to create gigantic data storm to envelop the earth. The Data Storm concept itself seems to borrow from the New-Type Destroyer and psycommu hijacks from UC. tl;dr Gundam Unicorn can hijack funnels (what bits are called in UC), and other newtype technologies but Unicorn itself can straight up control time but let's not get into that.

This one a lto of people are extremely heated about, but I have always said that Eri is the one that can shield Suletta from the Data Storm. Even though the "download" Ericht does burns Suletta, it's not the same as piloting the machine since she was interfacing with Aerial itself.

Eri can't shield her from the curse.

Schwarzette, I believed would not be Suletta's even after it got shown because it is the last piece of Guel Jeturk's link to his father. I believe he will get the curse despite him being my favourite character (and I have been rooting for him since he showed sparks of brilliance n Episode 3).

Suletta knows that El4n isn't alive.

Petra is alive, people theorised this would be the case given that there's a shot of prosthetic legs in one of the previous episodes - she will be one of the first cases of someone getting prosthetics besides Prospera on-screen.

Lauda to Schwarzette is the wildcard I did not know - I predicted that someone else who wasn't Suletta would take on the curse, but I didn't know it would be Guel's half-brother.

It seems that Guel will be the grunt-suit specialist, Lauda will pilot Schwarzette and Suletta will pilot Caliban.

The whole "surprise" new Gundam shit doesn't bother me because it's a series trope, it's not something borne out of a relation to The Tempest.

This is an extremely heavy handed reference to the old-world weapons developed in secret that being Unicorn = Calibarn, Banshee = Banshee & Phenex = Aerial. The third one was known to anyone who even knows about Gundam UC.

People were fairly in denial about this concept, but my final prediction was that one or both of Miorine and Suletta would become enveloped in the Datastorm mostly because of how red:birthmark plays out visually. They're not on the same realm until they're contained in Eri's hands, in an aetherial world that doesn't look like the space outside.

The Schwarzette to Suletta theories, while commendable were mostly based on the idea that they wouldn't let someone who is going to die from the curse do that which is provably wrong given that Sophie died from it in the first episode and now this episode itself has shown that Suletta isn't permet resistant, Eri herself was the one protecting her.

A lot of the events of MSG The Witch From Mercury are not new nor are they like, uncharacteristic of the series and its themes.

I think some people were getting frustrated that suletta has a slower-cooking characte arc but the protagonist should always have the longest run of development in a story like this. Like yeah, you can give characters big surges in development, but Suletta is tied in a gordian knot to Aerial, Eri, Prospera & Miorine so it's only going to go as fast as the overarching plot moves which is not over so of course it's not going to be cathartic in episode 20/21 as opposed to episode 25. Suletta is doing a lot to grow it's just in the subtleties as opposed to some cool one liner or a victory lap with her MS. Besides, she's getting a new MS and it's not Schwarzette so we have the stage set for ideals, self, existence & family to clash swords in a battle grown laden with the bodies of the innocent.

Suletta will have the last, and best character ending because her's is the one that spans 25 episodes, not 8 or 9 episodes.

As for the next four episodes:

Prospera Mercury probably dying (there is a non-zero chance she might live since people fake-die all the time in Gundam).

Lauda taken by the curse OR Guel is killed in battle (temporary death).

Miorine reunites with Suletta at the end of the season (I theorized that separation would be a recurring theme during this season).

Miorine's eye is blown up, however, I think this visual metaphor in the ED is more of a narrative kind of thing where she's lost one eye because she's had her ideals completely dismantled by inadvertently staging a false-flag attack more or less. Doesn't really matter that she didn't know that it would happen, her very character is lamenting everything that's happened in this episode.

Suletta hasn't really shown the same level of like social awkwardness and has a lot more confident body language in the last two episodes, I think that she will have a much firmer resolve to stop her mother if it means Eri & the kids can be free.

I'm not really that into theorycrafting but those are my remaining predictions.

I don't know how this show will end, I don't know if SuleMio will get their happy ending, I don't know if one or both of the Jeturk brothers are dying and I don't know who makes it out of this one alive - all I know, is that we got some good Gundam each week and I'm not gona argue with some people about it every week.

Oh, also, Suletta will get the curse if there's no filter - remember what Olcott said and the repeated references to a lack of care for pilot safety throughout the series.

Every single part of season 2 has been peak fiction. I'm enjoying the ride, so let's enjoy what it has to offer.

tl;dr - QZ = permet disrupting field, Suletta doesn't actually have permet "resistance" as Eri did not either, Lauda to Schwarzette, Miorine has PTSD from the attack on Earth, Suletta has strengthened her resolve and largely shed her self-doubts especially in Episode 20, Petra alive, Gundam Caliban is probably Unicorn, Schwarzette is Banshee, and Aerial is Phenex [tl;dw - ghost in a Mobile Suit].

[caitimetravels]

she's insignificant

chapter 6: how's it hanging?

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.

warnings: none

masterlist

"there he is" y/n pointed towards the plumbing van across the street from the building she had stood in front of just yesterday with klaus and five. luther nodded, heading over first, looking through the window. y/n noticed something was off. "is he.. dreaming?" she frowned, glancing at luther who shrugged. she quickly climbed through the back while luther called out to him.

"five!"

"no!" five shouted in his sleep, brows furrowed in distress. he was having a nightmare. y/n gently reached over and held his shoulders, shaking him awake. 

"hey, five" she called softly, and his eyes snapped open, breathing heavily. "hey" she smiled sweetly, watching as he calmed down. luther opened the door, struggling to fit inside.

"you okay?" luther asked when he finally sat down, shutting the door.

"you shouldn't be.. how did you find me?" five got defensive right away. y/n sighed, moving back.

"well.." he nodded at y/n who smiled sheepishly before turning around at the sound of humming. 

"klaus?" he was dancing with dolores in the back.

"hey, a little privacy guys, we're really hitting it off back here-" he pretended to frown only for five to yell at him.

"get out!" he chucked a cup at him and klaus used dolores as a shield. "you can't be here! i'm in the middle of something"

"klaus" y/n held her arms out, taking dolores from him. "please, don't do that" her face scrunched in disgust at the thought. she didn't need more of her brothers becoming attached to dolores, one was enough.

"aw, why not, baby sis?" he moved closer, kneeling next to her and leaning on luther's seat. y/n sighed, holding dolores and leaning against five's. "any luck finding your one-eyed man?"

"what is he talking about?" luther looked between them all but five shrugged it of with a wave of his hand, gesturing to klaus.

"does it matter? it's klaus" five sighed, sitting up in his seat. "what do you want luther?"

"um.. so grace may have had something to do with dad's death. so, i need you to come back to the academy, it's important"

"it's important" five mumbled, scoffing. "you have no concept of what's important"

"hey" klaus diverted the attention to himself, "did i ever tell you guys about the time i waxed my ass with chocolate pudding?" he laughed, "it was so painful" he looked at five who turned away to laugh.

"what are you still doing here?" luther turned in his seat to look at klaus.

"what? i-what i need an excuse to hang out with my family?" 

"well, we're trying to have a serious conversation here" luther gestured between him and five. y/n sighed, why was everyone so doubtful of klaus? he was just trying to help. 

"and i'm incapable of being serious- is that what you're saying?" klaus held his hands to his chest, looking hurt.

"luther's got a point, you should get out" five sighed, 

"what?" klaus looked at him in betrayal before looking at y/n. "baby sis, you want me here, right?" 

"wanting you here and being able to hold a serious conversation are different things klaus" she shook her head in amusement. he frowned, "come on, let's go" she set dolores down before climbing to the side door of the van beside klaus.

"what? you're coming with me?" klaus smiled, cheering as he climbed out to.

"where are you going?" luther asked, looking at her in disbelief.

"you gestured to only you and five, luther. besides, klaus is more fun than you two. come get us when you're done fighting" she rolled her eyes. 

"y/n-" five tried before sighing as she shut the door.

"so, why'd you come with, anyways?" klaus linked his arm with y/n, heading towards the convenience store across the road. 

"i don't like the way they treat you" she sighed, patting his shoulder in sympathy. "let's get some food" he grinned as they reached the door to the store, splitting up to look through different aisles. it wasn't long before klaus held a handful of stuff he definitely couldn't afford. she snorted as he tried to run out, a police officer following him. 

"hey bitches!"

"dumbass" she rolled her eyes, picking up a coffee she had made in the corner before taking a lollipop and some chips. she closed her eyes, disappearing and reappearing in the van, behind five. she placed the coffee down in the middle, neither five nor luther noticing her yet. she pulled the wrapper off the lollipop, sucking on it.

they all watched klaus run across the road, almost getting hit with a cab. "out of the way, asshole!" he shouted.

"amateur" y/n scoffed as the officer caught up to him. five and luther turned to her in surprise. 

"i'm starting to wonder if that was the wisest decision" five watched him drop his things, looking at y/n who shrugged.

"i got you a coffee?" she smiled innocently, holding it up.

-

as luther went to collect klaus, y/n hung back, moving to sit beside five. "hey.." she faced him fully, watching as he continued to stare out at the building. "are you sure you're alright?"

"i'm fine" he denied, not looking over.

"then look me in the eyes and tell me that" she scoffed, before sighing and twirling her lollipop in her hand, staring intently at it. "five, i know you've been through a lot alone but.. you're not alone anymore. we're here- i'm here to help you now.. all you have to do is let me"

he finally turned to face her, expression softening. "i've done more than you think and.. i don't want you getting hurt in the process. like i said if i need help.. you're the first person i'd ask" 

"really?" she raised an eyebrow, pausing to stare at him now. "i don't believe you" he sighed, annoyed.

"you don't have to, but i would ask you first, you're most capable" 

"you're just saying that because i told you about dolores" she stuck her lollipop back in her mouth and crossed her arms, childishly.

there was a pause, "how.. how did you do it? i saw you there how were you-" he gestured a hand to the mannequin. 

"at first i trained with dad and i.. i couldn't reach you, no matter how hard i tried" she begun softly, looking back down at her hands. "then one day i just.. did. but you walked right through me and i- i didn't know what to do. i tried so hard to talk to you but you kept going right through me. i tried to touch you but my hand went right through and i touched dolores instead. i don't know how or why but.. it felt like a part of me was torn off" she shivered, hating the feeling that came with it. "i don't know why but i lied to dad, i told him i couldn't find you. he dismissed me, said training was over forever. so i studied instead, i failed and failed to reach you again and i studied physics and probability, anything to help you get back. one day i did find you again but i couldn't move, i couldn't do anything. you were reading vanya's book but it wasn't out yet, i saw your equations and your wagon.. i realised i was dolores later when you spoke to me, i was seeing through her eyes"

five stayed quiet, watching her intently. "i didn't get to see anymore, klaus and diego thought i was dying" she laughed bitterly, "i didn't find you again for a while and when i did you actually saw me.. as me and not dolores. well, you know obviously know what happened then.. but i kept seeing things in my dreams, i saw you, the things you did, i saw you grow up. it was.. weird but i think it was dolores" 

y/n sighed, reaching a hand out and opening the door. "i'll leave you to-"

"i meant it, you know?" five cut her off, frowning as he was now facing away from her again. "when i said you were the most trustworthy.. the strongest" 

a small smile graced her face. "i know" 

————————————————–

"do you really think mom would hurt dad?" they all sat around watching the tape on the tv screen except five who had refused to come.

"you haven't been home in a long time, vanya, maybe you don't know grace anymore" luther argued,

y/n sighed, "mom didn't have any intentions like that. she was definitely normal that day"

"if he was poisoned, it would have shown in the coroner's report" diego eyed luther, standing beside y/n.

"yeah, well, i don't need a report to show what i can see with my own eyes" luther gestured to the screen, hell bent on blaming someone for this.

"maybe all that low gravity in space messed with your vision" diego nodded, unconvinced and moved forwards, going back in the tape. "look closer, dad has his monocle, mom stands up, monocle gone" 

"oh yeah" klaus grinned, shaking his bag of chips.

"she wasn't poisoning him, she was taking it. to clean it" something was off. y/n eyed them all carefully. 

"then where is it?" luther turned the tape off, looking at him. "no, i've searched the house, including all of her things, she doesn't have it"

"that's because i took it from her.. after the funeral" diego admitted, holding one of his knives. y/n frowned, they were going to fight. 

"you've had the monocle this whole time? what the hell diego?!" allison uncrossed her arms, staring at him incredulously.

"give it to me!" luther demanded, moving forwards and holding a hand out.

"i threw it away" diego shrugged, still fiddling with his knife.

"you what?" allison laughed in disbelief, how could he? she raised her glass of alcohol to her lips.

"look, i knew that if you found it on mom, you'd lose your shit. just like you're doing right now" diego stood straight, pointing his knife towards luther.

"diego, you're such-" diego got into a fighting position, hands ready for round two.

"no, calm down" vanya interrupted, "look, i know dad wasn't exactly an open book but i do remember one thing he said. mom was, well, designed to be a caretaker but also as a protector"

"what does that mean?" allison asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"she was programmed to intervene if someone's life was in jeopardy" y/n realised, catching on to where vanya was going with this.

"well, if her hardware is degrading then.. we need to turn her off" luther suggested and diego immediately disagreed.

"woah, woah, woah, woah wait, she's not just a vacuum cleaner you can throw in a closet, she feels things, i've seen it-" 

"she just stood there, diego, and watched out father die!" luther gestured to the screen again, trying to prove his point.

"i'm with luther" allison sighed, fiddling with her glass.

"surprise, surprise" diego sneered, everyone looking over at her.

"shut up" she snapped before they looked at vanya.

"i-i don't-"

"yeah, she shouldn't get a vote" diego threw his hands up, believing that she was going to go against him.

"i was going to say that i agree with you" she glared at him.

"okay, she should get a vote" he then turned on klaus. "what about you stoner boy? what've you got?" 

"oh, so what? you need my help now?" he rolled his eyes, "well, get out of the van klaus. oh, well, welcome back to the van!"

"what van?" allison looked between them all.

"we're not shutting mom down!" y/n shut down any more talking. they looked over at her. she looked disappointed and angry. "i thought we said no more fighting" she crossed her arms, looking pointedly at luther.

"exactly! i'm with y/n and diego because screw you" klaus glared at luther and diego pointed klaus nodding. "and if ben were here, he'd agree with me" there was pause before klaus hissed at the couch.

"so, that's four to two" diego held up his fingers.

"it's not final yet" allison argued, "klaus doesn't count, he's high and drunk"

"what?" diego glared at her, hands falling.

"and five's not here yet. the whole family has to vote, we owe each other that" 

"right" luther nodded and vanya agreed.

y/n scoffed, "we owe each other? we don't owe each other shit" diego agreed, "all i wanted was my family back, no more fights. if we really owe each other the least you could is that" they all watched silently as she left. 

————————————————–

a young diego ran down the hallway, suit only half on. he wore his button up shirt, tie and sweater vest over the top. he disappeared through a doorway as allison rushed down the stairs. 

"come on luther!" she called through a doorway at the bottom before rushing the way diego had come. reginald walked out and stood in the hallway.

"how will the umbrella academy ever become an effective crime deterrent if we can't even leave the house on time for missions?" he yelled out so that all of them would hear. 

"behind you" luther called, jumping past reginald to scurry down the hall. allison searched through her draws hastily, chucking clothes onto the floor around her. 

"i can't find my domino mask" she rushed back only to be stopped by grace who held it out.

"it needed a little bit of tlc after the last mission" she smiled as allison took it, thanking her. grace walked out and down the hall, stopping at luther's room first where he was currently doing push ups. 

"ready to go?" she received a thumbs up before she continued walking. 

"where's my knives?" diego shouted, rushing through the house at the other end of the hallway. grace stopped in front of vanya's room where she was practicing her violin.

"sounds beautiful, vanya" she complimented with a soft smile. 

"thanks mom" 

grace then walked to klaus' room where he was jumping on his bed, grinning and laughing at the chest of drawers on fire. "oh, klaus" she scolded, putting the fire out.

"thank you, mother" he smiled, hoping off his bed. she shook her head with a small grin.

"boys will be boys" 

ben rushed down the hallway next, hand fiddling with his zip. "oh, ben" she gently stopped him.

"it-its stuck" he tried to pull it up again. grace softly fixed it for him before letting him go. "guys! wait for me" he called as he ran off.

grace paused outside diego's room, hearing him practice his speech, trying to get over his stutter.

"don't m-m-m" he struggled to get the word out. grace walked in, smiling and placing her hands on his shoulders.

"remember, diego. just picture the word in your mind" he breathed out, nodding before trying again.

"d-don't m-m.. d-don't m.. don't m-move" grace gasped, happy.

"you did it!" she grinned, touching a hand to his cheek. "i'm so proud of you"

someone cleared their throat in the doorway, interrupting. there stood reginald and beside him y/n. diego watched as he smile faded at her father's cough. she had been happy for him too.

tag list: @rxses-and-reverie @lostgreekgod @on-yourmark-99 @bicyhot1 @navs-bhat @midnightmystic

[sinnabonka]

15x19: So bad, that it’s actually good

Yesterday I had the experience of my life. I couldn’t watch the show (hi, everyone stuck in UTC+ shithole), but I couldn’t sleep either, so I ended up at 3 AM reading my people livestreaming it on Tumblr. This was one hell of a roller coaster, given the absurdity of the plot and the weakest writing in this season.

(I don’t mean the excellent and ironical and powerful message to the fandom, we’ll get there)

I was aware beforehand what I was getting, so no major disappointment regarding not seeing Cas back this week. Also, it kinda was my call, that he’ll be back in the final final.

The Ultimate Happy End, the biggest win of Dean Winchester. Chuck’s book ended, and Cas is not in Chuck’s book.

Was it bad? Yes, it was. Did I enjoy it? Hell yeah, I did. 

Everyone on Tumblr already gave their two cents of hatred regarding the writing, the montage, the solemn aim of this episode (spoiler alert: to please the general audience and bronlies), and I will give mine, too. Watcha say?

It was so bad.

I didn’t believe it was the same show as the rest of Season 15. It was like rereading the fanfic my stupid 13 y.o. self wrote after like half a season and no skill or whatever. Full OOC, everyone. Learn what not to do. 

I am so happy I didn’t watch ep 18 and 19 in one night. Could you imagine? That would be like getting kicked in the balls after a pretty good blowjob or something. Idk, but I can imagine.

It was lazy, it was just connecting two dots in the shortest way possible, although, leaving dozens of gaps! How, in the name of God, did they manage it?

Why Chuck could bring Lucifer back, but Jack didn’t pull Cas out of the empty before evaporating? 

Why Sam has no fucks to give about Eileen?

How did Michael miss the whole thing of Jack gaining powers, don’t angels, like, have a nose for such things?

What battle is he talking about? It’s was a single stab!

It’s all just so easy, so short sighted. God is bad, let’s defeat God. Lucifer is bad, too, let him do bad, again. Michael is petty, and with Adam gone he’s back to his tropes being daddy’s boy, let him not being appreciated one more time and lets kill him off, too. I mean, my speculations on this ep were stronger.

Let’s make our characters retell the villain what was happening off screen. Let’s put some direct call backs to the previous episode, but make it feel like a grain of sand in the eye. Let’s give Dean a miracle, just for Miracle to be yanked away from his hands a moment later (parallels to Cas, anyone?). 

Let’s pretend there’s no Eileen, there’s no Cas, let’s pretend they don’t matter! Let’s pretend “Just us” is a happy end. Let’s have two bros driving in sunset, because after all those years and all their losses, that’s the only thing that matters. “To everyone we’ve lost along the way”, my ass.  

(Totally following my call in here, though, I hate being right)

It was everything I’ve hated about the show back in 2013 when I left. And it was everything this show is not now, which I am so thankful for, and why I am back.

All those sloppy plot decisions, episodes with no logic, awkward and ridiculous montage, “only bro” dynamics, bending and totally ignoring the rules of the universe. The episodes with Lucifer, too, for crying out loud. 

Forced happiness, fake smiles, a lingering touch, close up at the beer bottles. It’s just them, the Winchesters, and the whole world can go fuck itself, as long as they get to drive their Impala to the end of the world and back.

This is something Chuck would love to be their ending. You see what I’m doing here? This episode - it’s Chuck’s book, it’s the bad ending Becky’s been talking about: all action and no Cas. In other words, not good. 

So, what’s good about it then?

In this episode we hear “the old Supernatural” talking through the words of Chuck and “the new Supernatural” answering, with Dean’s and Sam’s help:

Chuck: “What did you do?”

Dean: “We won.”

Chuck: “So this is how it ends?”

We won. The Author (TM) is defeated.

Chuck: “For the fist time I have no idea what happens next. Is this where you kill me? Dying of hand of Sam and Dean Winchesters. It’s kinda glorious?”

Chuck - the old Supernatural - wants the story to end this way. With killing God, with this bittersweet aftertaste, because Cas says all those beautiful words, but Dean still feeds off his anger and kills. Typical Chuck, right?

But, no! Not this time!

Dean: “See, that’s not who I am. That’s not who we are.”

Chuck: “What kind of ending is this?”

Sam: “His power. You sure it won’t come back?”

Jack: “It’s not his power anymore.”

It’s not their call! Writers tried to control the narrative so hard, but just kept circling around, killing one of the brothers just to bring him back. This time, there’s another ending. 

Dean: “It’s the ending where you grow old. You get sick. And you just die”

Sam: “And no one cares. And no one remembers you. You’re just forgotten.”

Because that, my people, is the destiny of Supernatural if it ends this way. It’s the ending of “Supernatural” by Chuck Shurley. If it is the story of two brothers hunting evil for fifteen years and finding themselves back in the place they begun in, what’s the point? Yes, we love the characters, but the story is empty.

Everyone is going to forget about it before the final credits end. And the writers are well aware of it. 

Quoting myself, If we keep taking the same route - we end up in the same place. How many seasons ended with Winchesters together, just the two of them? You’ll find one, that’s for sure. There’s no novelty in that ending. 

(And Bobo didn’t provoke The Ultimate Shitstorm of 11/5/2020 for nothing!)

The episode 20 will be something Supernatural will be well remembered by. It will be a game changer! 

I’ve written here about the change of the philosophy of the show (point 6). I’ll be a bit of a Chuck myself and put my own quote here once again:

The message the show wants to give the world has changed. From “it’s all about the journey, about saving people, killing things, no one ever gets what they deserve”, the philosophy has changed drastically toward the “good things do happen, you deserve to be saved, to be loved”.

And this, my people, is what we are getting in the next episode. Because Chuck’s story was about killing your brother, killing your son, one apocalypse after another, Lucifer, Michael, all that shit. 

But Dean’s and Sam’s is not. And in their book, there’s Cas, there’s Eileen, and everyone they didn’t lost along the way.

So, brothers driving in sunset? Not the end, but the beginning of their own story.

“Supernatural” indeed ended tonight. But our story didn’t.

[gaecactae]

Hello cactae! I love your art it's so cute and refresh's from so much angstTM on the server lmao. But I want to ask about you're thoughts on a redemption on c!awsamdude or do you think he actually can be redeemed?

I read your post about warden!sam while back and you quite sympathize with his character. You brought very fair points that sam is deserving to be sympathized, even though sam is also one the people who don't stream his pov when it comes to the corruption arc or at least prison visits but we feel and see through how it's taking effect in other peoples pov's. I'm a c!tommy sympathizer so I'm not quite comfortable viewing c!sam is such light but I would like to hear your thoughts!

I'm sorry this is a long ask, if this is too hard to answer then feel free to skip or delete! :D

Hello fellow Tommy sympathiser! Thank you for kind words and willingness to hear some opinions :D

Ever since I made that post about Sam, I’ve found a lot info about his character and Sam’s opinion!

I guess one of the reasons, although not too valid but I guess still something, why I sympathise with his character that much, is because I look at the plot from the eyes of young adult. I left the teenage state not so long ago, and I begun to see things differently, almost immediately. Especially things connecting to taking responsibility for our actions and how I had to take responsibility for my deeds when I was a teen etc.

About Sam redeeming. I think it is possible! I think we’re all waiting for the climax, when Dream escapes with Technoblade (supposedly) and Sam “gets what he deserves” aka. gets beaten up, one of his canon lives is taken, all of this type of stuff. Which, honestly? I’m sort of hoping for. I’m a huge awesamponk stan as well! Ponk said some time ago, that maybe Sam will win a way to his heart again, someday? Of course from the eyes of a viewer, it may be weird that Ponk, who had his hand taken literally, by Sam, would fall in love with him again. But I believe that Ponk may be Sam’s redemption, literally. So imagining how maybe Ponk would help Sam escape the hollow building that will only contain him at some point, after Dream escapes, maybe he will run away with him, somewhere, where he can get back to form.

I deeply believe it was the prison itself, that corrupted Sam, not the Egg as some may believe. I also don’t think he’s a bad person as well! I don’t want to be seen as an apologist, I don’t really want to be sorry for his actions tbh? Cause some of his actions are flawed, like breaking Prison’s rules along to his own plans or getting manipulated by mr. Quackster; yet still in some situations I saw his point.

You’re gonna hate me for this hfjfndjdj but I did saw his point when Tommy broke into the prison with Ghostbur. I wouldn’t be surprised in the tiniest, if Tommy was killed by Sam, at that current moment, cause he quite literally broke in. I know Tommy had quite valid reason, getting a revenge, but it could have been executed differently! Well, now it’s honestly not that important, cause it’s past, and there’s not much we can do about it, cause it already happened.

So, going back to Sam being sympathised; Sam said himself that his character doesn’t deserve sympathy, cause he’s a cold, corrupted, dangerous motherfucker. Which, alright, I guess? I think I got to the point where I embrace this corrupted side of his. Cause not every character with which we sympathise, must be a good person. Every character in the dsmp is flawed at some point, some people more, some people less, the question is, which side we sympathise with more.

I mean look at people now! It’s so funny to me, and maybe I’m projecting, but I saw so many people turn to Dream out of the blue! Techno is with him now, and suddenly people that were very much against him, sympathise with him! Sort of. All the drawings of Dream in Techno’s cloak, Techno comforting Dream on fanarts, suddenly it’s all a bit softer!

I think I sympathise with Sam’s softer side, from before the prison, hoping he would be back to it someday. I see his character as the troubled, lonely Warden that was stuck in this obsidian block, trapped with Elder Guardians’s noises and Dream’s screams, echoing through the walls, to the point where he just couldn’t take it anymore and went crazy. Would happen to anyone, but he took the Warden’s role. I mean. He sort of knew this job will take him whole, since he put down the first block of it, probably.

But I don’t want to make a wimp out of him by saying that. I don’t want to establish his character as a poor baby boy that needs love and hugsies and all of this! I just think he lost himself. He is a strong man that will hopefully redeem himself from the prison arc, but I don’t know how

And at this point I definitely stop to know what I’m writing and I’m just pouring random words so I hope any of this is comprehensive enough lmao jdjdhhf

Thank you for the ask again!!

Man I love to discuss shit even when I’m just a stupid bitch at some times

[hangovercurse]

Past Mistakes

Y/N and Dom broke up 8 months ago, but now he’s back on her doorstep with flowers in his hand

Dom x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I might make a (smutty) part 2 to this if any of you want it... Also let’s just say this took place in 2020 because I needed a non-Covid world for plot points :)

Word Count: 1860

The first two months after Dom left were probably the hardest of your life. You barely ate, you barely slept, and other than going to classes you barely ever left your house. You threw yourself into your classwork, studying for hours on end and working constantly. Anything not to think about him.

The next few months, you got better. You started to move on, accepting that he was no longer a part of your life, at least not like he was. You started to go out with your friends more, started taking better care of yourself. 

After 5 months, he reached out to you, in a text. 

I know I have no right to ask you this, and you have no obligation to respond, but you’ve always been my number one supporter. I’m having a bit of trouble at the moment and could really use a friend. I was hoping we could get that back? Just friends.

It was... disappointing. Even though you swore up and down you were moving on, you couldn’t shake how upset you were. You’d secretly always hoped the next time he reached out to you would be him asking for forgiveness, to be taken back. 

But you supposed friends couldn’t hurt. 

Just friends

You responded. And everything seemed to be normal. 

Apparently, “just friends” meant random texts and snapchats from Dom about the places he would go when he was on tour, his random midnight thoughts about the universe and dinosaurs, and comforting him when his insecurities overwhelmed him. He, of course, returned the favor, though you were more than hesitant to break down any walls for him. 

Part of you was glad he’d broken things off before going on tour. You would be stuck in your small town while he was in a different city every night. Your newfound friendship was hard enough as it is given the time differences and the fact that you could only see him through a phone screen. You honestly couldn’t imagine pining for him while you stayed at home, even though you kind of did that for the first few months anyways.

So that was how life had been for the last 8 months. Once you’d gotten your shit together, you and Dom had a steady friendship over facetime for 6 months. You were still in school, Dom was still touring and making music. You were both as happy as you could be in that moment.

Or at least you were. 

It had only taken Dom three days to realize how badly he’d fucked up. Well, he knew before he’d even broken up with you that it would hurt. But sitting at the airport, wanting nothing more than to text you, he realized how bad this tour would be without you waiting for him at home. 

But he couldn’t put you through that heartache, it would be selfish of him. He thought if he’d let you go, you wouldn’t have to be upset when he couldn’t be with you for 8 months. But after 2 months of hell, Adam finally convinced him he needed to reach out to you. Even just as friends. 

But truthfully, after 6 months of that, he didn’t know how much longer he could stay friends. He missed holding you while watching movies, missed you bringing him tea when he was writing, missed showing up at your flat at 3 in the morning just to dance around your house. He missed your lips, your skin, your eyes. The way you reached for him first thing after you’d woken up, how you would drag him out of bed to go for a late night adventure, how your eyes would shine when he surprised you with a cute gift or date. 

And you couldn’t say you didn’t miss him too. You’d tried going out with the people your friends set you up with, but no one compared to Dom. No one understood you like him. As silly as it sounded when you’d say it to yourself, you were pretty sure you were made for each other. You’d never find anyone to compare to him. And maybe that’s why “just friends” stung so much.

You were sat on your sofa, laptop in front of you, working on an assignment to keep your mind off the fact that it was Friday night and all of your friends were out on dates and you were on your sofa, doing schoolwork. 

Your plan was working surprisingly well, until you finished said assignment. Then you were just left to sit and wallow in your own self pity, wishing anyone were there to cuddle and kiss. Well, maybe not anyone. 

Eventually, you decided a movie would be a good distraction from your thoughts, so you pulled up Netflix on your TV, scrolling through the movie selection. As you landed on Princess and the Frog, there was a knock on your door. 

You raised your eyebrow slightly, curious as to who might be at your door this late. Nevertheless you trudged over to the door in your oversized sweatpants and ripped up Guns n’ Roses shirt. 

You opened the door to reveal a bouquet of pink and black roses in the hands of none other than your ex-boyfriend-turned-friend, Dominic Harrison. 

When he saw you in person for the first time in 8 months, he could only stare, taking in all of your beauty. Every feature was so familiar to him, yet so changed. And every second he spent on your doorstep, taking you in, he fell even more back in love with you. 

You didn’t know what to think. You would have never in a million years expected him to show up at your door with flowers. And pink and black flowers at that. Your mutual favorite colors. 

Finally, he gained the courage to speak, “Hey, Y/N.” He was trying his hardest not to stutter as he extended his arm with the flowers, handing them to you. 

You took the flowers, a small smile making its way on your face. “Um, hey Dom. What’s up?” You were finding it hard to look at his face, worried that if you did you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from kissing him. 

“I was hoping we could talk?” You nodded, moving out of the doorway to let him walk into your small living room. 

Your eyes followed his back, taking in every detail of him as you could. You couldn’t help but think about how natural he looked in your flat, how at home he was. 

You snapped out of your thoughts as he turned to face you. You closed the door and followed him into the room. “It’s good to see you again. Like, in real life.” You told the truth, seeing him in your flat was like a breath of fresh air after the fog of the last 8 months. 

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked, taking you aback. Your mind started running through every possible thing he might want to say to you. 

“You can always be honest with me.” You told him, trying to maintain a calm facade, though underneath you were freaking out. 

What if he wants to tell me that being friends was a mistake? What if he thinks our relationship was a mistake? Maybe he is only still friends with me because he feels bad for me.

“Ok, there’s no way to say this any other way so I’m just gonna go for it.” He took a deep breath, “I’m still in love with you.”

He paused, gauging your reaction. You felt as if every cell in your body froze. You hadn’t realized just how much you’d wanted him to say those words. 

“I never really stopped, if I’m honest. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you since I left.” 

You seemed to come back to your senses, a blush reaching your face as you glanced down to your feet and back up to meet his eyes. “I- um” You started.

“I know you probably don’t feel the same thing and I don’t blame you I just couldn’t keep living without telling you that.” Dom interrupted, speaking faster out of nervousness. He had begun to pace around the living room, something you had seen many times before.

“Dom, I-”

“God I was so stupid to let you go. I thought it would help me miss you less while I was away but I’ve just missed you more.” He ran a hand through his hair, and you couldn’t help the smile on your face. 

“Dominic, can I talk please?” You chuckled as he turned to face you, stopping in his tracks. The look on his face was so soft and scared. You realized how much he still cared for you and how scared he was to lose you.

“Dom, I never stopped loving you either, dork.” You walked over to him, placing the flowers on your coffee table and grabbing his hands. 

His eyes went wide at your touch and he looked down at his feet, occasionally glancing up to your interlocked hands. “I, um, I thought you would hate me...”

“I don’t think I could ever hate you,” you whispered, “I was hurt at first, like really. I was a mess.” You chuckled, remembering the many nights spent crying in your bed. “But I never hated you. And when you texted me I just- I dunno. It hurt that all you wanted was friends but I couldn’t live without you in my life. I know it sounds cheesy and shit but like, I never stopped wanting you to come back to me.”

At some point in your spiel, Dom looked up at you, a smile growing on his face. Your eyes finally met and it was like something clicked. Like all the feelings that you had been repressing from the last 8 months were finally surfacing. 

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. Instead of responding, you lifted yourself onto your toes and connected your lips to his. His hands moved to grab your waist, leaning down into the kiss. Your hands travelled to his chest, one hand resting on his shoulder and the other continuing up to his neck. 

Your lips melded with his in the most natural way, almost like you’d never taken a break from each other. 

Once you pulled away you nuzzled your face into his chest, taking in the familiar smell of Dom. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you moved your hands to wrap around his middle. “I missed you.” You mumble into his shirt before looking up to him again. “Don’t leave me again.” You whispered, “please?” 

He leaned down, rubbing your nose with his. “I won’t, I promise.” He pressed a kiss to your lips as you smiled against him. 

“Can we watch Princess and the Frog now?” He asked with a chuckle. “I saw it on when I came in and its been on my mind since.” 

You giggled, nodding as you pulled him down onto your couch, cuddling up to him and pressing play. 

[yamaoni]

The Second Great War of Remnant has begun. Once more, Vale and Mantle are embroiled in a massive conflict, only this time, they are on the same side against Atlas.

I don't think it was a coincidence that so many people drew parallels with the last episode and WWI. We've never seen people fight that way in RWBY. Grimm don't use projectile weapons the way humans do, so the benefits of the trench are diminished; especially if you compare it to the drawbacks.

Now, I understand not everyone in the Atlas military has their aura unlocked and the squishy soldiers need some cover, but if The Long Memory didn't nuke every grimm on Atlas, the lines would have been overrun and then there would have been nowhere for them to retreat to.

You think the very real hand to hand struggles in the trenches of WWI were bad, imagine being trapped in a narrow trench with a bear. Or having this thing explode out of the ground under you.

I refuse to believe no-one in Atlas ever thought, "if we put the dirt from the trench in a box, no only can we give our soldiers cover, we can also give them an elevated position to fire from."

The top of a wall has been the primary defensive position for the people of Remnant for a long time. You can see them in the establishing shots of most settled places the team has visited. So why are we seeing a trench now?

Simple.

Show, don't tell.

RWBY has done a pretty great job, especially in the last few seasons, of showing the audience what it is trying to convey without explicitly telling them. They especially like drawing from well known folk lore to give insight into the future of the show.

Only difference here, instead of drawing the parallel between characters, they're drawing parallels between worlds.

Remnant's first Great War started with Mantle suppressing freedom of expression, the destruction of Art and Color. Ironwood always has little in the way of color, but in his first broadcast since everything started hitting the fan, he has none.

That broadcast also included evacuation ships being blown up by fighter-bombers, Dunkirk. It threatend to level a city if they didn't surrender, Battle of Brittan. All delivered by a dictator trying to scare his opponents into submission through careful use of film.

Theories

If the rest of the season is WWII, I have several theories on plot direction. Considering how well they did keeping up with both ends of the battlefield it wouldn't surprise me if they followed all of them at the same time.

Operation Dunkirk

Or, the evacuation of Mantle.

Players: Penny, Nora, Ren, Happy Huntresses

The Happy Huntresses involvement is a given. Not only has saving Mantle been their goal the whole time, they're also stuck in the middle of it right now.

Penny is the Protector of Mantle. It would be a shining moment for her character to fully throw off the virus Watts implanted and overcome Ironwood's threats to do so. Just crossing my fingers that it doesn't end like the Iron Giant.

Nora is currently Penny's tether to sanity, so she has to go with, and I doubt they would separate Ren from her for the next arc so he's going too.

Surprise twist for this plot I'm betting will be the Starwars "they aren't warships, just people" scene everyone loves to rag on. After all, the broadcast went out that they needed help and, at least at Dunkirk, it was fishing boats and pleasure crafts that retrieved the 338,000 surrounded on all sides.

Why We Fight

Or, countering Ironwoods propaganda.

Players: Robyn and Qrow

For one, these two are unaccounted for and in the heart of Atlas' military machine. If anyone has means to do so, it's them.

The film, Why We Fight, also countered the dramatic cinematography of Goebbels propaganda by painting it as ridiculous and making a folksy call to action much like Robyn has done in the past.

Operation Fortitude

Or, the deception of Ironwood.

Players: Emerald, Jaune, Oscar

This is the mission to make Ironwood think the team is going after the relic. This theory is why I actually thought of and wrote out this whole thing. Thanks @maxiemumdamage, I had things I was supposed to do tonight.

https://maxiemumdamage.tumblr.com/post/644291955872890880/willing-to-bet-my-own-soul-that-emerald-uses-her

Only difference in my theory and their's, is Jaune is going to be playing the part of Penny.

I say this for two reasons. One, Joan of Arc pretended to be a man. While we've gotten both Jaune pretending to be something he's not and him in a dress, this would pose the first time in the story he could do both. Two, it would put him on a direct collision path with Cinder. It needs to happen at some point to bring his arc to a conclusion, but man I hope we're not about to watch him burn.

With Ozpin active again, Oscar has to go along to direct them to the vault. He's also one of two backing the idea of Emerald joining the team and Jaune wouldn't be willing to work with her without him.

Operation Overlord

Or, busting down the doors of Atlas Acadamy.

Players: Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Yang

Where Operation Fortitude was the faint, Operation Overlord was the real deal. For those that aren't history buffs, this is D-Day.

I think this is the reason we've only seen the main team fighting together once since their split from Beacon. And even then, that fight was at most pairs of fighters and not all four of them supporting one another.

RWBY tricked us into thinking season 4 was the post-timeskip level up we come to expect from anime when really we ended up watching the training flashbacks as they happened instead.

We've seen hints of it with the various team ups and combinations, but are we really ready for how much ass kicking they are about to do?

I'm hoping for a One Piece level of badass entrance that can give me shivers whenever I go to watch it again like the walk to Arlong Park still does to this day.

(Aside: if you try telling me RWBY isn't anime, I'm just going to ignore you. Anime is an art movement. If you don't understand what that means, watch this video. https://youtu.be/uFtfDK39ZhI)

Now last and certainly not least

Operation Valkyrie

Or, the death of Ironwood.

Players: Winter and Marrow

The long awaited defection. Plenty of speculation has already floated around about if and when these two where going to cave to their morals and jump ship. I don't know how many of us were expecting the straw to break the camel's back to be a nuke held over Mantle, but I certainly wasn't.

What worries me, is Operation Valkyrie failed and all its conspirators were executed. As if there weren't enough death flags for Winter before.

Even if it's not Winter that kills him. I don't see Ironwood surviving this season. Even if it means he goes out like another hated dictator. It's not like it would be the first time RT had a fallen hero chose to use his own sword.

Wildcards

Or, Murphy will have his due.

Players: Cinder, Watts, Neo, Tyrian, Mercury, Clover

These players can go any which way. Three we know for sure are going to be active in the coming episodes and I wouldn't be surprised if the other three play a part as well.

Oscar made a hell of a light show for Tyrian and Mercury to see behind them. Not to mention, Salem will still need a ride home when she pulls herself back together.

Clover keeps getting mentioned even though he's hospitalized. If he was truly out of commission for the rest of the season, they would have made us think he's dead before bringing him back like they did with Penny.

Up to now, what we've seen is a three way conflict. But one of the hallmarks of Remnant's First Great War, was making temporary alliances to fight off grimm.

The grimm might be gone, but the wild cards can't complete their own objectives if they are dead. The question is who's goals better align with their own.

Two surprise twists I can see here. One, Mercury stabbing Tyrian on his way to defection. He was raised by an assassin and has not going to get a better chance than that. Two, Clover joining Operation Valkyrie. He might have accepted that sacrifice is a necessary evil to ensure Atlas' survival, but might go Schindler's List on us and find horror in what Ironwood plans to do.

TLDR

I spent way too long writing this out. All the WWI imagery means we're getting a WWII movie with RWBY characters. Major death flags for Penny, Jaune, and Winter.

Also I finally figured out how to do a readmore. Apparently it's just been a long time since I updated.

Note: kept seeing things talking about clovers death and I kind of went ???? Isn't he barely alive in medical? Went back and watched that scene and though I am 90% sure he is dead still kind of weird that they have him in his own room instead of a morgue and the initial framing made my mind instantly think he was propped up on a hospital bed. I mean, I guess we needed to have all the ACEOPs there for their reaction to Ironwood... but it definitely made me think he was alive. That and they have a bandage on his chest wound... when he's supposedly dead. Also have a phantom memory of Harriet saying something about him being in critical but I think that's my memory playing tricks on me.

Having his face exposed instead of covered by the sheet and seeing him in the same frame as Winter being treated also didn't help my gut reaction of "Oh Shit! He's alive? How?!" If I'd followed up more on the "how" might not have made the blunder of writing his return as the final twist in my theory. Oops

[bakugous-bbygirl]

~Sleepless nerd~

Bakugou X F!Reader

First time doing this please don’t make fun of me please feel free to give me feedback and help me make more stories like this one!

Warnings: swearing. (That’s it really)

Bakugou called all his classmates nerds, but you, you were the actual worst nerd he’s ever met.

When you started attending UA high your room had been placed next to the angry blonde’s. Your quirk made you quite diffrent. You were incredibly smart and had the ability to hack into anything you needed no matter the size. It seemed like your quirk had no downsides

Except your god awful sleep schedule.

Durning classes you looked as if you were always alert. You participated well, never even dosed off in class once as far as everyone knew. But durning the night bakugou could hear you playing away on some game. At first he assumed it was a one night thing. But that was two months ago.

Night after night he would hear you turning on your tv leaning against the thin walls and would just play away for hours. He wondered how in the world you functioned.

It wasn’t your fault really. Your quirk has your brain running all the time constantly trying to hack into phones and other electronics. Not only that but constant math equations and other school stuff took over your mind all day. It was absolute hell for you but you never let it show.

Other than that though. The rest of your classmates loved you. You were socialble, always helping others when it came to school work, and even seemed unbothered by mineta’s terrible comments about you looked in your uniform. “Looking perfect as always (y/n). Your skirt is juuuussst right” “Thank you, please back away from me now your starting to drool :)” your reply was always the same regardless of what he said but it was still really impressive you delt with the comments at all. But Bakugou held a personal vendetta against you and your awful sleep patterns. He never attempted to talk with you besides the small rude comments on how your in his way, or smaller things, he couldn’t deny though. You were adorable durning the day. Your smile made him feel warm feelings in his chest, and he could listen to that laugh forever. Damnit why did the most annoying girl have to be the one he fell for! He knew one day he should probably just ask you to stop playing so late at night since it would wake him but he couldn’t bring himself to face you for more than a few minutes without getting all red and flustered thinking about being your boyfriend. Thinking about holding your small frame against his body and sleeping soundly together. Bakugou figured he didn’t have a shot though, since you were much closer to that annoying red headed rock, but after seeing your notes you had passed on to kirishima, Bakugou had no choice but to look at you in a whole new light

“Kiri, you need my notes again?” You whined while leaning against your doorway.

“Ah I’m sorry (y/n)! You know English just isn’t my strong suit.” The red head rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed while facing you. You weren’t surpised but you were realllly tired. He had just knocked as you were getting ready to crawl into bed and pass out. “Alright alright, wait out here I’ll go grab them” you yawned while closing your door back gently as to not seem rude. You rummaged through your bag while rubbing your eyes and grabbed the first sheet of paper that was labeled “English class” not spending to much time checking over it. Boy you wished you read that paper better

After handing it over to kirishima you admitted that you were planning on napping and to just give them back to you later in the afternoon. “Thanks again (y/n)!” You closed your door and decided before crashing to clean up your energy drink cans you had let make a small pile on the ground. It was kinda strange but you had done this since your quirk manifested. Your brain was always ticking, so you had trouble relaxing and sleeping normally. You had come to learn sleeping durning the night was a joke and your brain would only stop after you couldn’t stay awake any longer. So you decided to drink energy drinks durning the day to keep yourself awake letting your brain just go and after classes you would just curl up and proceed to drool all over the floor or wherever you passed out. Kept you alive this long, but durning the night once you awake your brain just started up again and the cycle restarted, however today you had messed up and forgot your drink so you were a bit groggy and more down than normal, people begun to notice but you played it off as feeling slightly sick. Kirishima though did not expect anything less from the perfect note taking student and just wanted to copy your notes so he could figure out how to spell certain words. What he GOT instead was a huge picture of Bakugou and half way copied sentences. The picture was his soul focus though as today you had decided to absentmindly draw serval small side profiles of the angry Pomeranian with cute little words under it. The main one looked amazing. He couldn’t knock it. You were a great artist! If hero stuff didn’t work out you could easily make money this way! It was Bakugou looking out of the window with his headphones in. It was some real good stuff. But he couldn’t stop laughing at how clear your crush was and no one has picked up on it. Not even Bakugou himself! He couldn’t pass up a chance to help you out for a change instead of you helping him. “Ohhhh bakubro is gonna love this” he hummed to himself while knocking on the man of the hour’s door.

When the door was opened Bakugou could not believe his eyes. Of course he had feelings for you as well! But damnit he wanted to confess first! Now this stupid shitty hair knew before he did! “Give me the damn paper you extra! Just go study and get out of my hair!” Bakugou slammed his door while clutching the paper to his chest. He was mostly in a state of shock, not only were you a remarkable artist, but you had drawn him. And it looked incredible. Truely heart stopping stuff. You really fell for him hard. “Tch, damn cute nerd..” he decided to hang the paper up near his bed out of most people eyesight and knew he had to talk to you tonight. Cause there was no way that red head was taking that paper back.

10:40.

You groaned silently after reading your clock on your phone screen. You slept passed nine again, meaning you way missed dinner, and would have to sneak down all quietly so you wouldn’t wake anyone. “What a pain..” you slipped out of your bed and slid your socks over your feet while opening your door gently, what you did not expect to find was a certain blondie waiting on you. “Jesus Christ..! Bakugou you scared me..why are you up so late?” You tilted your head as Bakugou’s body had tensed. Like he owes you some explanation! “Better question dumbass..! Why are you up huh? Shouldn’t we be both sleeping?” He got you there. You had made a promise to yourself to keep your weird habits to yourself so you wouldn’t worry any of your classmates. “W-well, uh. I..um..well...” you struggled to form a actual sentence. Since you had never had more than a few seconds of conversation with the punk boy. You couldn’t help it. Your feelings for him has bloomed so out of control you often found your brain slowing down and filling itself with him. “Save it nerd. We need to talk, can I come into your room?”

You swear up and down your heart and brain stopped working at the same time. Bakugou, big meanie, Katsuki wanted to come inside of your room. Your safe haven! And better yet! What in the world did you two have have to talk about?! He’s never spoken to you! You haven’t even begun to form your denial when he just grabbed your arm and dragged you back into your room “W-wait..! What do you have to say to me..?! Did I make you upset..?!” You didn’t know what you did but your mind was already back and running to a thousand different things you could’ve done to make this hothead mad. You’ve seen how he treats midoryia you didn’t want to take any chances. “What? No. Why would I be mad at you dumbass?” Bakugou actually looked...confused? Man this night was defiantly a weird one. The only face you’ve ever seen him make was a mad one. Why did he seem so relaxed around you? “Then...why are we standing in my room..holding hands..?” You pointed at your interlocked fingers gently seeing as you weren’t sure when in the world that happened since he grabbed your arm. And why were his hands so perfect for holding?! Bakugou was caught off guard clearly but didn’t let go while he was..blushing? “Listen stupid! Shitty hair gave me your trashy notes. If I knew you had liked me I would’ve spent more time speaking to you and shit.”

Second time. Second time you felt yourself die. Did, Bakugou, while holding your hand. Just confesss that he knew you had feelings? How in the world did he know?! “Kiri did what now.” You were almost fuming. You were gonna kill kirishima. Your foot. So far up his ass it was gonna be a new record. While plotting your murder you didn’t even notice that the blonde boy was trying to explain how he got his hands on your notes and that he’s felt pretty much the same since you’ve started attending school together. His confession had fell on death ears though as he faced you noticing that you weren’t listening. Bakugou sighed and snapped his fingers in your ears to jolt your attention. “Hey dumbass.” You glanced up tilting your head “ha? What’d you say?” Why in the world did his heart stop around you. “I tried to say you made a mess of your notes today and you had basically admitted you had a crush on me. And for some odd reason. I feel the same way about you. You spend all damn day stuck in my mind. Your damn quirk hacked your way into my head and won’t leave me alone. Then you would keep me up all night. And I thought I hated you but I guess it’s pretty clear I like you and your stupid noisy ass.” To put it lightly you are kinda caught off guard. This guy hated everyone! But you always figured it was kinda a act to make himself stand out better. “So..your telling me..you actually..like..like like me..?” Your brain had begun to slow down again.

Everything in your head felt so much better around him. You didn’t know why but everything settled with his skin met with yours. Even if it was the softest touch durning classes or a half assed hug it was all you needed to make yourself seem normal. After that night of confession and confusion you had agreeded to be his girlfriend and he started crashing in your room to make sure your stupid ass slept like a normal person. Surprisingly to you he was extremely patient and helped your body sleep durning hours that everyone should sleep at. In turn durning classes you actually started acting more like yourself than you had knew was possible. Your brain wasn’t racing all day and you didn’t need to drink out of a can every two hours or so to make yourself hyper. The change went noticed by all your classmates since Bakugou with his loud self made a huge deal after you walked in holding hands and denki pointed it out to everyone. “Yeah she’s my girlfriend now!! So what?! Your just all jealous I got a date first!” Overall though. He was extremely nice and gentle with you like he was always nervous and couldn’t control his real feelings around you. It was pure heaven to you. He was just what the doctor ordered and you needed your daily dose of him for the rest of your life

Please make sure give me feedback and tell me what you think of this! Like I said this was my first time writing really in this type of format! I can already feel some things I would have to change but don’t be afraid to tell me anything!

[msjr0119]

Cordonian Wags

Part 27

In a world full of Professional footballers and their demanding wives- can their football team nicknamed the ‘Cordonian Apples’ succeed? An American female physiotherapist joins the club. Will this cause issues with the footballers wives?

*This series is based on The Royal Romance characters who belong to Pixelberry - AU Plot switch. Other characters belong to me.*

Please do not read if you are under the age of 18. If you do you are consenting that you are over this age. If any of the below warnings affect you, please don’t continue to read.

Warnings: Mention of; sex scandal, drug scandal, prostitution, adultery, death, adultery, murder (past tense). Swearing 🤬

A/N: The first part of this chapter follows on from the previous chapter. Then there is a flash forward (six months). The chapters following on from this one will show certain characters POV’s from the last six months.

Previously: The team all try to piece together the events in Paphos from all those years ago. Drake believes that he has fathered a child after a one night stand after viewing the DNA results- but it’s not as everything seems. Catch up here.

Tags- if you want to be removed/added please let me know 😊: @drakexwillow @plumeriavibes @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @texaskitten30 @nikkis1983 @kimmiedoo5 @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @axwalker @yukinagato2012 @indiacater @rafasgirl23415 @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @choices97 @shanzay44 @lovablegranny @gkittylove99

The morning after, everybody arrived at the stadium to prepare for the days match. All feeling the need to cover up the slight hangovers that they had occurred was proving to a difficult task. Adding to their headaches, was the scandal that Drake Walker had caused. A situation that as a group- they was determined to fix. Quickly.

Drake arrived onto the pitch first, needing any excuse to escape his own house. Having another woman stay there made him feel like he was cheating on Riley. Even if she had made it pretty clear that they couldn’t be together. There was an internal battle going off in his mind. How was he was going to inform her about the news that he had received the previous night? Of course he didn’t want the press to find out prior to her, she didn’t deserve that. But then he was wondering how she would react once she knew. Would she completely ghost him? Who knows.

****

The previous night once she had arrived back at Bastien’s, Riley stayed up the majority of the night researching the Paphos break on google. As a previous WAG herself she knew that events such as these would have been published by the paparazzi. There was no escaping or hiding from them. Her research showed photos of the men arriving at the clubs, hiding their identities as best as they could. But the last article that she stumbled across was based back in Cordonia- or so she believed. The majority of it involved what the Wags were up to whilst their men were away on the ‘lads holiday’ celebrating. Olivia had been for brunch with; Hana, Penelope and Savannah one of the day’s. However, what really caught Riley’s attention was a mystery woman in a nightclub with Madeleine- in Paphos. The two woman were snapped for the majority of the night and seemed pretty close- who was this woman, Riley wondered? If she was a close friend, why wasn’t Madeleine with her the majority of the time now? Zooming into the photo her eyes widened. Amy Amaranth. The name rang a bell for some reason but she couldn’t pin point as to why. It had rattled through her mind all night. Upon her arrival - she noticed Olivier and suddenly a lightbulb struck. Memories flooding back in an instant.

“Hey....” Sounding panic stricken, Olivier looked at her concerned.

“Bonjour belle. Que se passe-t-il?” Hello beautiful. What is the matter? Luckily Riley knew French, not fluently but enough to hold a basic conversation out.

“Amy Amaranth....” Riley didn’t need to elaborate, the look of horror was now painted across the Frenchman’s face.

“That’s a blast from the past...” Olivier hated the woman with a passion - as did most of the footballers. Those that had the sense to not become bewitched by her beauty.

“Sneak away with me for a bit? I need you to help refresh my memory, Olivier.” Nodding, he dropped the ball immediately before making their way off of the pitch. Swiftly.

****

It was half time. The Apples were beating their opponents- currently they were on a winning streak. Which made Bertrand especially proud. Riley made a beeline for Drake knowing that they only had a short amount of time before the second half kicked off.

“Congratulations, Walker.” Riley had noticed after the two goals that he had scored, he would look in her direction- smile. Then have the need to continue playing with a limited celebration.

“Thanks, Brooks..” Unable to make eye contact with her, he concentrated on wiping his boots.

“How are you?”

“As good as I can be. What about you?”

“Listen, Drake.... there’s something I need to tell you...” Ignoring his prior question, she felt the need to just get to the point.

“Don’t bother, I have an inkling about what it is...” Drake put his boots back on, avoiding looking at his ex girlfriend- he stood up and made his way towards the door. Not really wanting this conversation to continue.

“You do?” Riley questioned, hoping that they were both on the same wavelength. If Drake already knew what she needed to inform him about, it would make the whole situation a lot simpler.

“You’ve begun to see, Berger. Hence why you didn’t want to fight for us.”

“I’m not a slut, Drake!”

“Really? You slept with me when I had a girlfriend. You snuck off with him before. What was it? A quick fuck in the changing rooms? Wishing him good luck?”

“No! About us.... How dare you! It takes two to tango!”

“I don’t want to hear it, Ri. I wanted to marry you. Then you ditch me at the first sign of trouble..”

“Myself and Olivier are friends. We have been for many years. Nothing more, nothing less. You know what? It’s a good job that you never got down on one knee because if I’m so much of a ‘slut’ you’d have regretted it. Don’t bother even talking to me until you can say sorry. I can apologise for apparently ditching you- I wanted for you to have the opportunity to get to know your potential child. You wanted kids. I couldn’t give you that. Why am I even arguing with you? I needed to tell you something important, but you know what- fuck you. When it all ends in tears don’t come crawling back to me.” Barging past him, she decided to not look back. If Drake Walker didn’t want to acknowledge anything that she needed to tell him- there would be no way back for the two of them.

“Ri, wait!”

“Leave her. Drake, what the fuck is up with you?” Liam snapped towards his teammate after overhearing the raised voices. As Riley left, she shook her head and provided a deflated expression. Olivier had explained to Liam about Amy just before the match had officially begun. He was determined to help his friends out- but now was unsure as to how to do that.

“Would you leave Liv if you was in my situation? No, I didn’t think so. The blonde bimbo arrived yesterday with her bags packed. I’m stuck with her. I’ve lost Riley for good even without that outburst.”

“Drake, nobody knows about my true relationship with Olivia. We seem like the ‘Posh and Becks’ of Cordonia. But we have an open relationship. You and Riley are different -that is true love, fate. People are fucking with you both for revenge. Next time she tries to explain something to you, listen to her. Trust me. Trust her.”

****

Later on that evening, it was like mission impossible avoiding the paparazzi for Liam and Riley. Meeting in secret, Olivier then joined them in a secluded location. Out of the way of prying eyes. Using a rental car, there would be no reason for anybody to follow them. They had one aim- to warn Drake about Amy. The objective, go to the cabin to do this. Debating whether or not to just blurt the information out? Talk in a civil manner? Would Amy still be there too? Whatever was to happen, it needed to be done.

“So you two, did you both prefer it in the UK or here?” Liam asked breaking the silence surrounding the car journey.

“Neither, by the sounds of it Cordonia is as bad as Manchester for the drama. I’m glad I wasn’t here when Xavier was, I’d have killed him for all of what he put you through, Ri. But enough about us, Liam what about you? Would you ever move clubs?”

“Never say never. But at the moment I’m content where I am.”

Shortly after the brief drive, they arrived at Drake’s cabin- but remained in the car for a bit. Rehearsing what exactly they was going to say, creating different scenarios. After a while, they agreed to just be spontaneous. Riley and Olivier walked to the front door, or rather dragged themselves there. Both feeling slightly nervous about seeing the devil again after all of these years. Knocking quietly, they waited.

Drake, please can we talk?... I’m sorry about before, but there’s something you need to know....Drake, I know her. We know her. She’s not what she seems.....Amy can be sweet but she’s a psycho.

Shit. I’ve forgotten what to say.

Hearing the door creak open, Riley’s thoughts were cut short. Initial shock to begin with made her body stiffen and her brain turn to mush- not having the ability to function. That was until she witnessed the woman’s cocky smirk.

“Oh it seems we have the wrong address, Olivier. I must have amnesia- I believed that this home belonged to Drake Walker...”

“Have we been transported back to Manchester in the tardis, Riley? Bonjour, Amy - long time no see. How is your bit on the side, Aleksandr Chernyshevsky? Last I heard from him, he was playing for Arsenal. So why are you here? How is little Jenson?”

“Aleksandr must be missing his son. His son who you accused so many of the premier league players for fathering, Jenson. Including Xavier. My Xavier.”

“How nice to see you both. Again. If I was you, I’d leave now. You think that the last few months or in your case Riley- years, have been a nightmare. If you both carry on interfering it will go from bad to worse...” There was a slight distance between Riley and Olivier- but as Amy threatened this he could sense that his friend was about to do something that she could regret.

“You bit-“ Preventing Riley from continuing

“Leave her. Don’t be silly. You know how her mind works. She’s poison.”

“Oh, Olivier - you do make me laugh. Anyone would think with your words that I’m a snake.” Standing infront of Riley- the footballer had wished that it was Drake who had answered the door.

“Riley, it’s not nice to swear or shout. So...Shhh, Drake is putting his son to bed remember. Goodnight to you both.” Slamming the door behind her, she hoped that Drake hadn’t been earwigging. Sitting comfortable on the sofa, Drake finally came downstairs- pouring himself a drink before joining her.

“He’s fast asleep. This is the last night though, Amy. If that’s your real name.”

“Of course it is. I mean, people call me Amz for short. Why would you even suggest that? You saw the paperwork with both of our details on it.” Drake thought long and hard about the paperwork- to begin with the only information he was interested in was viewing the fathers details. After the initial shock, he had studied it as if it was part of some crime evidence. Something just wasn’t ‘adding up’ - especially with what the young boy had mentioned to him during the bedtime story whilst in a daze.

Mommy is lying about the name. I want to go home.

“I did indeed see the paperwork. Some things just don’t add up- that’s all. Maybe I’m just paranoid?”

“Well, don’t be. I know that you are still heartbroken over, Rachel....” Purposely mentioning the wrong name, she had hoped that this little ‘mistake’ would help with her plan succeeding.

“It’s, Riley! And I don’t want to talk about her with you when you don’t know her...” That’s what you think.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you....” Providing him with an ‘over the top’ hug, she hoped that being affectionate could be the key to his heart. “But I’m always here if you need to talk. We have a son together. Nothing more. Unless you wanted more that is. I’ll leave you to it.”

“Amy... wait!” Pausing for a moment, he knew to trust his own mind. “Do you want a drink with me?” A drunk mind always speaks the truth.

****

After leaving Drakes, Riley felt like a failure - the men could sense that in the morbidly silent car ride home. Both trying to begin any conversation to get her to respond, with no luck. Olivier had even brought up a story that had always made her laugh. It included how she had tortured him when wasn’t completing his physio correctly. Listening to Spice Girls on a loop.

“Ri, just leave it. Drake isn’t that stupid. He will soon find out the truth. We will bring this bitch down.” Liam said in a determined tone of voice, Olivier agreeing as they arrived at the Rys’s mansion.

“How long will it take us to do that though, Liam?” In all honesty he didn’t know the answer- but felt the need to remain positive for everyone that was involved.

“We’ve all managed between us all to cover up two murders. I promise you, once the truth is out regarding this child - the club will not have anymore scandals. We will remain the best team in Cordonia- and redeem any past mistakes. We’re all in this together.”

“As much as I like Leo...you’d make the better captain, Liam. Thank you for all your help.” Gently kissing him on the cheek, Liam held her tight for a while.

****

Six months later...

Prison time for Apples player? Can his year become any worse than it’s already been? I’m surprised he is still being chosen to play.

Sex scandal- one of the brunette beauties is apparently pregnant? Who is she pregnant with? She seems to be making her way through the team.

Divorce rumours for one of the Apples ‘golden couples’!

Drug scandal and prostitutes!

Match fixing?

Secret relationship uncovered!

Apples player disappears! Where is he? Why has he gone? What are the Apples going to do now?

Ex WAG dies mysteriously. The third person linked to the team. Who’s next on the ‘hit list’?

What does all of this mean for the Apples? They’ve had a rough six months between them all ever since the love child scandal with Walker. A few of the players are playing in the World Cup friendly between Cordonia and France tonight- I wouldn’t place any money on Cordonia winning which has the majority of the Apples players. It would go down the gutter like the club is.

Bertrand slammed the laptop screen down. Almost smashing it. It was bad enough having the commentators criticism during matches. But now every social media platform was joining in at any opportunity. His team wasn’t the only team to have scandals. In his mind he described it all as ‘tragic’ and ‘unlucky’. For some reason the paparazzi were just attracted to them. Like a bad smell. Focusing his gaze onto his young son, he hoped that Bartie would avoid the footballer lifestyle in the future.

No more scandals. No more shit. Think positive, Bertrand! We’ve had enough of that. No wonder I’m prematurely turning grey. Tonight is going to be a good night.

“Bertrand, are you okay?”

“I’m dandy, Sav. Is the babysitter here?”

“Yes.” Studying her husbands tense body, she really wished that he would and could retire early. The stress that he had was causing issues not only with the team but with his marriage. “You need to calm down, my love. Riley is the same. You’re both panicking but neither of you are involved with the national team. It’s a day off for the two of you.”

“No, but my reputation is. My players who have all caused scandals are playing- minus one because he’s gone awol. Your brother should have done a disappearing act instead! All of this shit happened after his love child scandal. He’s a lia-“ Hearing the familiar voice call for his wife- Bertrand prevented his vicious tongue from continuing. Taking a deep breath- he lead his wife downstairs, where they were greeted by a smiley face. An expression that was cleverly hiding/masking a fusion of mixed feelings.

“Hello, Riley. Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

“I was just going to wait in the car, but I’m desperate for the toilet. May I use it, please?”

“Well I’m not going to allow you to ruin my floor am I? I can order a taxi so you don’t have to drive.”

“Bertrand, I’m fine driving. I’m not drinking and you both know why. So I may as well do it. I’ll be two minutes.” Bertrand began pacing the room, Riley’s ‘two minutes’ seemed to last a lifetime. Eventually she joined the Beaumont’s before making their way towards her car. Riley completely oblivious to the tension between the married couple during the drive spoke positively about the upcoming match. All Bertrand could think about was which person would cause the next possible scandal.

****

Euphoria echoed around the stadium in central Cordonia. Even with all of the scandals, there was still that slight support from ‘die hard fans’.

In the tunnel, players from both sides were psyching themselves up- it was only a friendly but the French side apart from Olivier were providing snide remarks to their opponents.

“Bonne Chance! Just ignore my brothers. Ce sont des trous.” Olivier said to Drake - hoping that the match would end a draw and finish in a civil manner. Tonight he was playing piggy in the middle- wanting to stay loyal to his national team as well as his current team.

“Whatever, Berger!”

“What he means, is good luck to you too - Olivier. Isn’t that right, Drake?”

“Merci, Captain! I’ll catch up with you after the match...” Watching the French team make their way towards the pitch, Drake turned to his friend as soon as Olivier was out of view.

“Rys! I can speak for myself. I can say what I want. I’d have thought that out of everybody I could trust you to defend me. Not belittle me. These last few months you’ve been practically non existent to me.”

“I’m sorry about that. I’ve been busy dealing with my own shit. Your issues have been self inflicted. Now grow some balls and don’t fuck this match up. Be civil with everyone- including Olivier. He’s done nothing wrong to you. I’m relying on you tonight and so is Bradshaw. You need to redeem yourself. You’ve been given this opportunity to play tonight by our manager- unlike Bertrand who’s kept you benched all of these months.”

“Don’t you think that I feel shit about myself as it is without that wanker punishing me? He may be my brother in law but I hate him. I’ve lost everything. Everyone. I needed you L-“ Before Drake could continue, Maxwell came bounding over. Hyper as always.

“Guys... quick question before we go on to the pitch... Why is Olivier wearing blue and out there with the French team? He’s one of us.”

“Because he’s fucking French you absolute dipstick!” Drake snapped towards a confused Maxwell. Eventually he laughed at himself. At his own stupidity. As Drake was still scowling, and rolling his eyes - Maxwell decided to defend himself. Which was something that he rarely did. “Hey! Don’t take your shit out on me. I forgot. Jesus, Drake. You know I’m not the brightest person. It’s not my fault that you’ve messed your life up. No wonder, Riley doesn’t talk to you anymore. I’m beginning to think about doing the same if you continue to talk to me like I’m a piece of shit!”

“For your information, Beaumont.... Ri has spoken to me. A lot more than any of you have!”

“Oh, really?” Drake gulped as Maxwell asked this in a sarcastic manner. Knowing full well that he was lying with his previous statement regarding Riley- he wished that it was true. That she would talk to him more often. At this moment in time, receiving the odd text from her was better than nothing. Baby steps, he kept reminding himself.

“Yes, she came to visit me in the cell. I didn’t ask her to- but she did. She still loves me, I know deep down that she does.” The two men looked at each other not knowing what to say. Not needing a reason to cause Drake to possibly ‘rage’ again. Maxwell knew that he was already a target for Drake’s mouth to sprout abuse towards- so decided to inform his friend about some home truths.

“When you was arrested... well... she may have come to visit you. To talk to you. But that’s all it was, Drake. Since then, Riley has dealt with a lot. She’s having a good life now- actually dating again. We only know because Savannah let it slip when she was drunk.” Remaining silent, not knowing how to respond- many questions were now floating throughout Drake’s mind. Forcing himself onto the pitch, he looked up into the crowd and immediately spotted Savannah and Riley whispering in each other’s ears. Laughing. Smiling. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had witnessed Riley looking so cheerful. Thinking back to the last words that she had physically spoken to him - he now knew that he needed to get his act together. If not only for his sake, but for everybody.

Forget about the past. Bertrand has tried to sort your shit out. I don’t know if he has succeeded or not. But for now, you need to publicly apologise to the fans as well as the man that you could have potentially killed.

[macbetha]

So very excited to share this! It’s a playlist for my upcoming Free! fic, This Heart of Mine, the rewritten sequel to Eyes Wide Open All the Time. You can listen to the playlist on YouTube; this list simply helps define who or what a song represents to me. This list also includes some lyrics that you may want to pay special attention to. I recommend reading the lyrics by themselves before listening to the playlist. Mind you - some of these lyrics only act as symbolism. Some mean more. Some songs have connections. Some don’t. ;) *go girl give us nothing* List below! 

 THIS HEART OF MINE: PLAYLIST GUIDE 

Theme: Bring Me The Horizon feat. Halsey - In The Dark (MTLT / amo version) Oh so tall, it broke the fourth wall Guess our fairytale had a few plot holes Don’t you know you’ve lost control ↳ Honorable Mentions: ✧ grandson - Bury Me Facedown When I go into the ground I won’t go quietly I’m bringing my crown I won’t get tired Set the town on fire Thinking that they’ve won It’s only just begun  ✧ Lorde - Everybody Wants to Rule the World ✧ Ry X - YaYaYa ✧ Rihanna - Goodnight Gotham

CHARACTERS

✦ Haruka ✧ WDL - Monster vs Angel Got my own monster Nobody but me  Got my own angel  I would never call him enemy He’s the good god I need  But both of the sides Fight for me  ✧ Mumford and Sons - Broken Crown I’ll never be your chosen one In this twilight  How dare you speak of grace But in this twilight Our choices seal our fate I’ll crawl on my belly till the sun goes down I’ll never wear your broken crown  ✧ Lia Marie Johnson - DNA Dark as midnight 6 Pack Coors Light You don’t look the same Past my bedtime Blue and red lights come take you away I won’t be like you Fighting back, I’m fighting back the truth Eyes like yours Can’t look away But you can’t stop DNA 

✧ Cat Power - Sea of Love Come with me, my love To the sea, the sea of love ✧ Al Green - Love and Happiness (side note: this if my favorite song of all time) Love and happiness Something that can make you do wrong And make you do right 

✦ Makoto ✧ The Oh Hellos - Soldier, Poet, King There will come a soldier Who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down Oh ley, oh lei, oh lord ✧ Labrynth - Still Don’t Know My Name I took your heart I did things to you only lovers would only do in the dark I made you a god Priests, popes and preachers would tell me I did wrong ✧ The Civil Wars - Devil’s Backbone Don’t care if he’s guilty Don’t care if he’s not He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I got Oh lord, I’m begging you, please Don’t take that sinner from me  ✧ Sleeping At Last - Make You Feel My Love (Cover) I could make you happy Make your dreams come true There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do Go to ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love  ✦ Sousuke ✧ Angel Haze - Detox You dance in a cage with some rats in it I’m about chemistry, you just react to me God might turn us to ash, baby I might just taste your last stars tonight  We were gods in a world that did nothing but doubt us But fuck it, I got us, from the dirt with the flowers Put in work in the shower ✧ Kaleo - No Good  You better start runnin’ When you hear the man coming It won’t do you no good Kiss your baby goodbye Come on love, it’s all right Heaven knows they wanna break you apart  ✧ The Oh Hellos - The Lament of Eustice Scrubb Brother, forgive me We both know I’m the one to blame When I touched the water They told me I could be set free ✦ Rin ✧ Halsey - Young God (Lullaby / Music Box Intro, Live from Webster Hall) Running, running, running And we’ll be running, running, running again ✧ SZA - Good Days Tell me I’m not my fears, my limitations I’ll disappear I gotta keep from losing the rest of me Chasing a fountain of youth that’s in the present I’ll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, I still believe in good days ✧ Lola Blanc - Angry Too Does it get your blood boiling? Does it make you see red? Cause it gets my blood boiling It would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew I don’t wanna drink the venom they made me I don’t wanna be controlled by the past But boy, if you were me Could you really blame me?  ✧ Kendrick Lamar - u And if this bottle could talk: I cry myself to sleep, everything is your fault Because you shook as you knew confinement was needed I know your secrets Don’t let me tell them to world  About the shit you thinking  And the time that you - I’m ‘bout to hurl  I’m fucked up But I ain’t as fucked up as you ✧ Halsey - More Wooden floors, little feet Flower bud, concrete A little screen, a photograph Mine to take I still believe it won’t be like before I’ve loved you for all of my life ✦ Nao ✧ Johnny Hollow - Worse Things Anger grew like ecstasy And Leda threw the swan on me There are worse things, perverse things You should answer when the phone rings There are worse things I could do ✧ Young Heretics - Bones of a Rabbit You play with wolves But you sleep with the bones of the rabbit  You have conquered cities And torched the mighty sea You may keep yourself afloat But you cannot outswim me  ✧ Phantogram - Black Out Days (Future Islands Remix) Hide the sun  I will keep your face out of my mind  I’m hearing voices all the time And they’re not mine  Haunting my mind ✦ Natsuya ✧ Gang of Youths - Achilles, Come Down Remember your virtue  Redemption lies plainly in the truth Where you go, I’m going When you jump, I’m jumping There is no me without you  Today of all days See how the most dangerous thing is love ✧ Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love The stars, the moon They have all been blown out You left me in the dark ✦ Ikuya ✧ Penelope Scott - Cigarette Ahegao So like, I guess I call it the sophomore slump Always crying and always drunk A few dead, more gone, the rest well on their way Thanks! I hate it Everyone that I love is stuck Because this, that, the other, and the state fucked up We covered it in a class that I’m about to fail  ✧ 100 gecs, Laura Les, Dylan Brady - Money Machine Tell me what's the deal, I've been trying to go to bed I've been up for days, I've been trying to get ahead Said it all before, and I'll say it once again I'm better off alone ✧ Halsey - Clementine  Through a breakdown or a blackout Would you make out with me Cause I don’t need anyone I just need everyone and then some ✦ Hiyori ✧ Florence + The Machine - Seven Devils Holy water cannot help you now A thousand armies couldn’t keep me out I don’t want your money I don’t want your crown See I’ve come to burn your kingdom down ✧ Michael Buble - Feeling Good (Cover) It’s a new life for me This old world is a new world And a bold world for me Freedom is mine And I know how I feel I’m feeling good ✦ Asahi ✧ Sam Henshaw - Broke If I wasn’t broke Would you spend more time with me Like you said you’d do Tell me what I’m supposed to do Cause the only thing I need Is to be loved by you  ✧ Mikky Ekko - Smile Smile, the worst is yet to come We’ll be lucky if we ever see the sun ✦ Aki ✧ Aly & AJ - Church I did bad things, can’t you see it on my face? I get caught in every lie I need redemption for sins I can’t mention For all the things I can’t reverse For all the places where it hurts ✧ ZZ Ward - Ghost Here the devil call out my name I’ve broken promises, burning flame God knows, darling God knows I gave Now the truth cuts like a knife ✦ Nii ✧ Of Mice and Men - My Understandings  Keep in mind that I’m a sore eye With blurry vision  ✧ Neoni - Outlaw They say that I’m wanted Hear the whispers in the street You better start running Cause nothing scares me  Faster, faster You’re the one I’m after  You built a fortress But I’ll never kiss the ring I’m my own king

✦ Gou ✧ Melanie Martinez - Lunchbox Friends We can be friends if you wanna be But only till the clock hits three I don’t want no lunchbox friends, no I want someone that binds the ends, no Come to my house, let’s die together Friendship that will last forever ✧ Maroon 5 - Come to the Water Come away little light Come away to the darkness Away from the life that you always knew Come away little lamb Come away to the water To the arms that are waiting only for you ✦ Isuzu ✧ Jessie Reyez - NO ONE’S IN THE ROOM  Spent my whole life being graded, being told I’m not enough Being told go find the one and sit and wait for death to come I don’t want to I need to talk to God There’s things I just don’t understand Like who am I when no one’s in the room EMI - Bad Friends Yeah, I got some bad friends No you cannot have them If you wanna talk to them  You talk to me, yeah We don’t fuck around with just anybody, yeah

✦ Takuya ✧ Imagine Dragons - Ready, Aim, Fire Off in the distance, there is resistance Bubbling up and festering Here in the casing Shaking and pacing This is the tunnel’s light Blood in the writing, stuck in the fighting Look through the rifle’s sight ✧ Billie Eilish - you should see me in a crown (acapella) Bite my tongue Bide my time Wait till the world is mine, ocean eyes Count my cards Watch them fall  Blood on a marble wall You should see me in a crown I’m gonna run this nothing town Watch me make ‘em bow One by one ✦ Kinjou ✧ Urban Country - Knife and Stone Tell me, have you ever seen a mirror Mirror in the middle of the forest Just waiting for the rain or the crown I’ve been up for thirty days Someone point to lost and found Ain’t no blood in the temple Just a knife and stone

✦ Mikhail ✧ Elsie Lovelock - Friends on the Other Side (Cover) The cards, the cards The cards will tell The past, the present, and the future as well I got voodoo, I got hoodoo I got things I ain’t even tried And I got friends on the other side I hope you’re satisfied, but if you ain’t Don’t blame me You can blame my friends on the other side ✦ Ryuuji ✧ elbow - Grounds for Divorce I’ve been working on a cocktail Called Grounds for Divorce Down comes him on sticks but then he kicks like a horse There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall ✧ Mumford and Sons - The Enemy I am not the enemy It isn’t me, the enemy I came and I was nothing So why did you choose to lean on A man you knew was falling? ✦ Nadia ✧ Halsey - Castle (Orchestral Version) They wanna make me their queen  There’s an old man  Sitting on the throne  Saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut I’m headed straight for the castle

THEMES: GROUPS

✦ FREEBIRD ✧ Kaleo - Way Down We Go Oh father, tell me Do we get what we deserve They will run you down Down till you fall They will run you down Down till you crawl Till you can’t crawl no more And way down we go ✦ ROUGH RABBIT ✧  Imagine Dragons - Who We Are Up on the mountain Down in the king's den  It's who we are Doesn't matter if we've gone too far Doesn't matter if it's not okay Doesn't matter if it's not our day ✦ DIAMONDBACK ✧ Florence + The Machine - Bedroom Hymns This is good a place to fall as any We’ll build our alter here  In the wine, the women, the bedroom hymns Such selfish prayers, I can’t get enough I’m not here looking for absolution Because I’ve found myself an old solution

✦ HONEYBLADE ✧ Megan Thee Stallion and Normani - Diamonds I love me this much My pear-shape all dripped up He want me to be a little more lady-like? Come through with my girls and beat your ass on ladies night ✦ BLOODHOUNDS ✧ Angel Haze - The Wolves Nothing left out there for me  I left my fucking heart out at the sea This shit sounds like the danger zone  I’m the big bad wolf  Gonna take the throne 

THEMES: PAIRINGS 

✦ Makoto + Haruka ✧ Phoebe Bridgers - Smoke Signals One of your eyes is always half shut Something happened when you were a kid I didn’t know you then and I’ll never understand why It feels like I did ✧ Radical Face - Welcome Home Peel the scars from off my back I don’t need them anymore I’ve come home ✧ The Track Team - Heart Chakra ✧ Blackmill - Redemption ✦ Sousuke + Rin ✧ Kaleo - Bang Bang (Cover) Seasons came and changed the times I grew up, I called him mine He would always laugh and say: “Remember how we used to play? Bang, bang.” ✧ Zayn - Good Guy I’m not a good guy But I know you’re mine (bang) I know you’re mine (bang, bang) ✧ L'Orchestra Cinématique - Crazy In Love (Instrumental Cover)

✦ Natsuya + Nao ✧ Cosmo Sheldrake - The Moss But have you heard the story Of the rabbit in the moon? Halsey - Colors Your little brother never tells you But he loves you so I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old 

✦ Hiyori + Ikuya ✧ Elvis Drew - Where Are You  I been trying to figure out where you from Is it the moon? Is it earth? Is it this place, where nothing is worse?  Nothing can compare to the life we had My dear just grab my hand and let me take you To my wonderland ✧ Swae Lee - Sunflower Some things you just can’t refuse I’m not tryna lose

✦ Isuzu + Gou ✧ Snow Patrol - The Golden Floor I’m a peasant in your princess arms Penniless with only charm

[solecize]

                         01. “THE FIRST RACE”

summary: the city of seoul has been poisoned with the violence of greed and gang warfare. this takes a toll on your father, the police chief, and you start assisting him in the office for your year off. unfortunately, this means you have to deal with the new hothead detective, nakamoto yuta, who gives your father hell and even more so to the shadows with a need for speed that only come out at the ungodly hours of the night. the line between good and bad become blurred amidst the adrenaline rush of it all. you learn more about seoul’s underground and encounter these ghostwriters living in the luster of lights and overdrive —all while getting caught up in a cruel plot beyond the world of street racing. pairing: reader/? featuring: t7s line + yuta warnings: foul language

maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins or the unknown to come, but your entire life flashed before your very eyes. it tasted like the sea salt waters of your mother's town and the bitter liquid that you've been stinging your throat with all night,—hell, week—long. you saw ruby blood oil paints slathered across a canvas, kissing the touches of ivory underneath. the rumbling anxiety pooling at the bottom of your stomach didn’t like it when mark drove into the not-so-friendly part of the city. you especially didn’t like it when he pulled off to a side road that was barely even a road, barren of streetlights and seemingly leading into a tunnel of darkness. the infinite, screaming lights of seoul disappeared and in exchange came the rustling crickets of the dim outskirts. then, the deep song of car engines sputtering filled your ears—wait, no. that wasn't in your head. it was happening.

“i told you trust me.” a devilish grin spread across mark's face, the same one he wore in your elementary school memories.

the narrow street once occupied with nothing, just in the blink of an eye, teemed with cars from both sides. it was mobbed with cars, even. glowing paints gleamed in the moonlight, countless with obnoxious paint jobs and designs and decals that wore out your eye. clusters of individuals clung onto and around the area, some showcasing whatever they had under their car hoods or their interiors. a crowd, even, all lost in the glister of the night and their vehicles to the assorted beats coming from too many radios to hear even one song.

your lips parted in at the sight. when mark asked if you “wanted to check out something cool,” this was not what you expected.

after all, this was mark lee. mark, who once literally saved a cat stuck in a tree. mark, who you trusted enough to pet sit your elderly cats. mark, your childhood best friend who was the typical boy next door with a heart of gold. 

“it’s pretty cool, right?” mark’s eyes were clouded with pure bliss, as he looked out to the surroundings.

when you caught him leaving the bar early that night, which he had never done while out with your group of friends, you thought he was leaving to go home or something. following him out to catch a ride, you figured you had nothing to lose when he asked you if you wanted to see “something real sick.” probably a new food spot, knowing him. you obliged and got into his car, as he raved on about this surprise he was going to show you.

mark said, “welcome to tonight’s run. now, this,” he parked into what seemed like the last empty spot, “is freakin’ awesome.”

“what the hell is this?” though you were still tipsy, the shock of the view around you sobered your sense up like a sponge. 

“i just said, tonight’s run.” he gave you a ‘duh’ look and pushed his car door open. “way better than the usual bar hopping we’ve been doing!”

you scowled and followed suit, despite a stiffness to your muscles when realizing that you’d have to enter this environment. “hey, i happen to like my mindless bar hopping. it distracts me from my—”

“—meaningless, dead-end life, yeah, come on now.” mark helped you out of his pickup truck by extending a hand and closing the door behind you.

looking around, you weren’t sure if you were really seeing what was in front of you. then, several cars, a blaze of rainbows, zoomed right past you by just a few feet. you yelped, whipping your head to watch them go faster than you’d ever seen a car go. just in a matter of half a second, they became specks in your line of vision. meanwhile, others whooped and cheered along at the sight.

“i. . .didn’t realize you were into this kind of thing.” you weren’t sure what to say, still completely boggled at what was happening. 

upon seeing him, several individuals started greeting him and shaking hands with mark. mark clearly had a place in this scene. you did not, by the way some people were giving you an odd side glance for being at his side. 

mark crossed his arm, chuckling. “with all due respect, we haven’t talked in years. i mean, i missed you, that’s why i reached out to you when i found out you moved back to seoul last month,” he assured, “but, this shit? it’s been like my other life for as long as i can remember, dude.”

you forced a smile, trying to understand. he was right. you’d only just moved back to seoul not that long ago after years away with your mother in a different country. it’d been that way since the divorce, until things got strained between the two of you and you decided it would be best to move back to the city to be near your aging, stressed father. 

he said. “just stay for a bit. numb your brain with something that isn’t alcohol,” mark was joking, but you still rolled your eyes at him. 

“oh, stop, you make me sound like a party animal.”

“we’ve been going out to bars every day since you started helping your dad in his office,” mark retorted. “it’ll be fine, picasso.”

that was his nickname for you, a fine arts major back in college, and normally you hated them, but you let this one slide once. 

you attempted to reason. “because my life sucks.”

“yeah, whatever, it’s just because you’re like every other university grad that can’t find a job,” mark shrugged. “and i know you’re trying to shed the good girl thing by partying every night, but—”

he was partly right. you never really wanted to move back to seoul and maybe you were trying to show off to your dad that you were no longer “his little girl” anymore or whatever. however, considering you were still stuck having to help him at work, it wasn’t going as planned.

scrunching your nose at him, “excuse me—”

then, someone called mark’s name. a lanky shadow sporting sunny yellow air force 1s and a matching bandanna tied around his head approached the two of you. the smallest of his movements were smooth and slick, as he if was floating on air and he owned this sky. 

“hey, ten,” mark grinned and gave a quick hug to the other male. 

looking up close, the male was quite handsome. there was a certain glow about him that was rare in people and you couldn’t seem to look away. clad in black leather and gold jewelry all over, you were sure that you’d be terrified of him and his good looks if it weren’t for the bright, calming smile that adorned his lips.

‘ten’ didn’t even notice your presence, much less acknowledge it. “you ready? it’s gonna be a big one.”

“of course,” he scoffed in response, then his eyes darted towards you. “oh, by the way, i want you to meet—”

but, ten’s attention was already whisked away to the next crowd, making a beeline for whatever else called for it. everything seemed to gravitate towards him. what a character.

mark scratched the back of his neck, sheepishly. “sorry about ten, he’s a ball of energy. doesn’t stay in one place for too long.”

“it’s fine,” you shook your head and begun to look around more. “um, so what am i supposed to do here?”

mark smiled as if he was waiting for you to ask. "promise me to stay right here,” he pointed to the pavement beneath your feet, “like, this exact spot and don’t move.” eyebrows raised with his hands in the air, he was dead serious.

you blinked. “what?”

before you could process the request, mark was already scurrying away. you tried calling his name, but he either ignored you or couldn’t hear your yells over the booming music in the atmosphere. 

it was no longer fear that you felt, but more so, confusion. looking around, this was clearly not a place for you. there were few females, but the only ones around were barely wearing clothes and seemed to only serve as arm candy to be strung along by racers. racers was the correct term, right? people going out of their way to gather and watch cars drive by didn’t appeal to you at all. you weren’t even sure how they could do all of this without the police catching them right away. 

the confusion slowly turned into intrigue when the same foreign song of roaring car engines returned from the near distance. the buzz grew louder and in a flash, rose gold glowed before your very eyes first. then came the rest of the ridiculously bright cars, though by a sizable distance. 

they all halted right after crossing the distinct white line drawn onto the ground and emerged from the first car was a man who was instantly welcomed by cheers. he couldn’t have been that much older than you, a clean mop of silver resting on his head and wearing plain, loose fit clothing. despite looking the most mundane out of all the other racers, his car was easily the most expensive looking at first glance. 

“taeyong, you the man!” someone yelled from the crowd, which initiated a chant.

the last person to exit their car was a six foot something tower, beefy in every aspect, and had a multicoloured sleeve etched into his right arm. he marched right over to taeyong, a fury in every step he took. the crowd parted like the red sea for the goon.

“hey, jo,” taeyong greeted casually, a boredom behind his eyes. 

then, the unexpected happened. the big, burly monster began to shake. if you squinted hard enough, you could see the tears forming at his eyes. the people surrounding them began to laugh at the sight. you wanted to, on the account of just how ridiculous it looked, but you felt a tug at your heartstrings for the guy.

jo tried reaching out for taeyong’s hand, which he brushed off. “please, taeyong! sir, i’ll do anything!” he wailed. “please! just let me keep my car—”

“you shouldn’t have wagered a pink slip then, dumbass.” he sighed, ramming his shoulder when he walked past jo. 

right behind him was a woman with cropped, strawberry blonde hair and cat-eye sunglasses perched low upon her nose. she sipped on a bottle of amber liquid in one hand and immediately snatched jo’s car keys out of his grasp with her other. the woman dangled them in the air, mockingly, and the crowd whooped in response. 

“miyeon, take it back to the garage.” taeyong asked her.

she rolled her eyes. “no shit.” and walked away right after, hopping into the car that jo was once in.

watching this from the sidelines, you were in awe of what you just witnessed. the whole ordeal seemed to happen so quickly for something as serious as losing your car.

meanwhile, taeyong finished collecting rolls of bills from the other untriumphant racers, he began making his way through the crowd and you realized he was coming in your direction, you thought about moving, but you remember what mark asked of you and you weren’t really sure of where else to go.

his eyes flickered up and met yours for the briefest of moments. then, as if something clicked in his mind, taeyong gazed back at you. the intensity created a stiffness in your joints and you couldn’t move. 

behind him, the crowd dispersed back to their former places, making room on the road again. they swarmed the sidewalk, creating clumps around you. however, despite being lost in the other faces, taeyong continued to stare at you.

“hi.” you managed to choke the word out, unsure of you should have said anything, but the atmosphere began to grow too weird for your taste.

taeyong’s expression hovered and the ferocity faded slightly with the introduction of a small smile. “sor-sorry, i was trying to figure out if i’ve ever seen you before.” the stammer threw you off guard, watching him tug at a earring dangling from his left ear. “i know basically everyone who regularly shows up to a run.”

“yeah, i figured from everyone chanting your name that you’re pretty well known,” you responded and felt the corners of your lips quirk up.

“did you enjoy the show, then?” he cocked an eyebrow.

honestly, you weren’t sure what to make of the entire thing. “the race or that last part?” you still felt bad about the other guy losing his car, but it must be a common occurrence in this kind of scene.

meanwhile, people began to turn down their car stereos, quieting the surroundings. someone yelled something about “5 minutes until we’re in the clear”  and you could feel some sort of anticipating wafting in the air, something you never felt before.

taeyong chuckled softly. "so, it’s your first time here, then?” he asked. “just guessing, but you didn’t plan to come here, tonight, did you?” he gestured to your outfit, a plain turtleneck and jeans. it was a far cry from everyone else’s attire, showing off their expensive fashion brands and chains. 

you snorted. “no. my friend brought me here after we had a few drinks and this was the last thing i expected.”

“a friend?” taeyong said, but he tore his eyes away to the road, where a new line of cars began creeping up to the line. “oh, looks like the last race of the night’s about to start. i was gonna leave, but this one looks like it’s gonna be a good one.” he glances at the lavish, rose gold watch on his wrist. 

then, you saw him, you didn’t recognize him at first, lounging in the driver’s seat of a baby blue vintage vassalo convertible, but upon further inspection, it was definitely mark. the car was certainly not the plain suv that the two of you arrived in, a beauty queen of a vehicle and unlike what you’ve ever seen before. he was the second last one to pull up to the line and he scanned the crowd, immediately finding your eyes. mark waved wildly with a grin and although you found it ridiculous, you waved back.

“oh, you came here with mark, of course.” taeyong leaned against a flickering streetlight. “he floats a lot, can be seen everywhere with all types of people.”

“yeah, he’s always been that way,” you shrugged, “i never really thought that this whole scene was a thing, so i was really surprised when he took me here.”

the sound of an engine chorus punctured your eardrums in the blink of an eye, loud and unforgiving. someone walked right in front of the cars, just in between two, and his arm rose in the arm. the excited chatter grew all around you.

“GO!” yelled the man, slicing his arm through the air and just like that, all of the cars surged by. whizzing by in the matter of a second, you could barely catch your breath before realizing that they were all gone.

a new voice emerged from nearby. “the job’s done, boss. jaehyun just came back with it.”

it was a man about the same age as taeyong, tugging on his arm and attempting to speak discreetly. however, you close enough to the two of them to be able to hear their conversation. taeyong simply nodded in silence and they continued watched the race from a far distance.

“who’s this?” the mystery man inquired, noticing your presence. he was cute at first glance with naturally innocent eyes, but the tone playing on his tongue was too intimidating to stick to such a mood.

taeyong said, “mark brought her here. uh,” he smiled apologetically, “sorry, we didn’t even exchange names.” you gave it to him and nodding, he opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the other.

“welcome to seoul’s racing scene! i’m doyoung,” doyoung’s vibe completely shifted, as he enthusiastically shook your hand, which you did not offer. “and this is taeyong, but you already knew that by now.” at that, he rolled his eyes, but you heard no such denial of the statement.

then, before you knew it, you could taste the gas in the air and the sweet melody of a car’s buzz returned. to your shock, it was a whirl of baby blue that crossed the finish line first. curiously, the last car that finished was surrounded by a cloud of smoke, creating an ugly barricade around its pretty matte red paint. it had floundered its way back, barely moving in a straight line, and a clear dent was evident on the rear end of the car.

mark jumped out of his car with one of the biggest smiles ever painted across his lips. taeyong and doyoung moved forward to congratulate him, as you trailed behind and still unsure of yourself. they both gave mark a fist bump and you wanted to go in for a hug, but the celebration was cut short by the deafening slam of a car door, followed by a fist to mark’s hood.

“what. the. fuck. was. that.”

a six foot tower appeared out of the banged up car, steam coming out of his ears and red in his eyes. you all jumped at the noise and you especially shriveled up in fear upon noticing this new person. you saw the way a flicker of worry shone in mark’s eye, but he tried to compose himself and didn’t let it show.

“the hell you talkin’ about, johnny?” mark shot back, getting right up in the other man’s face and attempting to size him up. 

it honestly looked a little funny, but you snapped out of it quickly.

johnny rammed his finger into mark’s chest, poking it and looking at him dead in the eye. the spectators began to back up, some due to safety concerns and others taking out their phones to record. that’s when you realized that you of all people should get the hell away. you would be dead if you were caught in the frame.

he growled. “you son of a bitch, you fuckin’ cheated out there!” johnny spat and at this, doyoung stepped forward.

doyoung said, “woah, woah, woah!” he attempted to gently come in between them. “can we all just calm down for a second?”

as if there was no one around but him and mark, johnny grabbed the shorter male by the collar. “admit it!”

an army marched through your chest. what the hell was happening? your hand hovered over your phone in your back pocket, in case things were to escalate.

mark was barely able to shove johnny away. “get your fucking hands off me!” he sent pleading eyes to doyoung, who then tried to whisper reason into johnny.

while johnny was briefly distracted, mark zipped towards you and tugged at your sleeve. “you have to go.”

“what?”

“seriously, this is not gonna end well and i don’t want you here when it does,” he grimaces. “this wasn’t supposed to happen when i brought you here, i’m so sorry—”

you scrunched your eyebrows together. “mark!”

“—taeyong, shit, can you do me a favour and take her home? i’ll owe you one, i swear to god.” mark ignored you and turned to the white haired male to just met.

taeyong said, “don’t worry about it, brother.” the answer came instantly and a nod of appreciation was exchanged by the two of them.

turning to you, mark pat your head. “i’m sorry again, i can’t drive you home tonight. go with taeyong, you’ll be safe with him.”

a shock of nostalgia overcame your senses, as you recalled the times when mark would give you his umbrella when you didn’t have one, as the two of you walked home from school. there was also the time when he taught you how to roller blade and helped you back up every time you fell. he was always that friend in your life and remembering these moment settled a feeling of comfort in your skin.

“okay.” that was all taeyong needed to grab you by the hand and lead you through the swamp of people. 

some glanced at the two of you oddly, but you tried your best to keep your head down. after seeing the amount of phones recording, there was no way you were going to let yourself be seen any further than you may have already been. shouting developed from where you left mark, but you tried to not look back.

“taeyong, where the hell are you going?” someone said and the two of you halted momentarily. “i thought you wanted to see the—”

“i’ll just meet you back at the garage, jaehyun.” taeyong responded. 

the man cocked an eyebrow at him, but said nothing. he was sitting on the hood of a car with the ten guy that you saw earlier, seemingly watching the situation from a distance. they both looked at you with questioning eyes, but taeyong already began walking away.

you came across the same gorgeous rose gold car that taeyong drove in the earlier race, still sparkling underneath the dingy streetlight. he came forward and opened the door for you.

“um, thanks,” you mumbled, as you got into the passenger seat of the car, which you now recognized to be a hirose model, the same kind your dad drove.

the inside of the car smelled brand new and you easily settled into the leather seat, a clean white hue. though, the car’s control system at the front, was unusual. it was clearly modified, with dozens of switches and controls that definitely did not come with a car. even the steering wheel was adorned with a few buttons, all labelled by different letters. 

taeyong appeared at the other side, jumping into the driver’s seat with ease.

“you like her?” it took you a second you process that he was referring to his car.

you snorted. “you’re one of those people?”

he rammed his key in and the engine purred to life, beginning to gracefully pull out of the parking spot with speed. “what are you talking about?”

“one of those people who refer to their cars as a ‘her?’“ you replied. you found it a little humourous, sure, but you also needed to break the silence.

taeyong chuckled. “yes, is it that weird?”

eventually, the loud music and clusters of people began to fade away, until the two of you were back on the narrow, dark road that mark took you to. the road felt different and a calm spread over you this time. 

“is it part of the whole ‘street racer’ thing?” you asked.

he shook his head. “nah, probably just a me thing.” taeyong leaned forward slightly and tapped on the custom screen positioned where a radio should’ve been. with a few more clicks, soft lo-fi music filled the car. 

for the next while, it was all you heard. the two of you sat in silence, strangely enough, until you were no longer on the outskirts of the city. the stupid city lights came into sight once again, as did other traffic. the ride was definitely faster than before, most likely attributed to your lack of a drunken state and fear.

you pulled out you phone from your back pocket and gaped at the time shown on the screen. “holy fuck, it’s five in the morning?” 

“is it?” taeyong tapped again at the monitor in front of you and 5:14 AM shone bright in red.

time flew by like it was nothing. it seemed like you were just putting on the finishing touches to your hair at eight o’clock earlier that evening. you’d met up with mark and your friends around that time and after that, everything faded into one. 

you groaned, leaning your head back in agony when you realized what awaited you in just a few hours. taeyong noticed this and chuckled.

“let me guess, early morning shift?”

scoffing, you replied. “and i’m not even getting paid for it. fuck.” the fact that you had to trudge back to the station for nine sharp felt like a slap to the face. 

taeyong said, “what? don’t bother showing up then.” the car came to a red light and he turned to you and looked at you—like, really looked at you. there wasn’t a hint of fatigue in his eyes and you were amazed. 

“i’m just helping my dad out,” you shrugged. 

the conversation should’ve flown after that, but you heard the unmistakable wail. just a few cars back. the sirens cried and the bright lights stung your tired eyes. at the realization, your stomach dropped seven feet beneath the ground. you felt as though something was crawling up your spine and the back of your arms and legs. this had to be a joke.

looking at his mirrors, taeyong cursed. “are you kidding me?”

you still couldn’t move. this was likely your end. your breath grew sharp and a sweat broke out on your palms. 

he turned to you, though eyes kept darting back to the red light. “will you trust me?”

“what?”

“i said, will you trust me! we’re running out of time here!” you saw the way his eyes softened right after, as if he didn’t mean to yell, but adrenaline coasted through his entire body.

you had no choice. “OKAY, OKAY!” you hollered back, not knowing what was going to happen next.

in one motion, taeyong sent the car flying through the air with a ridiculous turn. that was the last thing you remembered when you woke up that morning at ten thirty. sunlight streamed through your translucent curtains, biting at your still closed eyes. your head was pounding louder than any speaker you encountered the night before, completely overtaking your ears and you let out a painful cry. 

burying yourself back underneath your thick sheets, the pounding still continued. what the fuck happened? you were still in your clothes from last night, evident by the atrocious smell coming from your sweater and the uncomfortable denim fabric clinging to your sweaty skin. you must’ve come home drunk or something, but how?

slowly, fragments appeared before your eyes. you heard the hum of a car engine. you remembered the face of a white haired man. the strongest one was of a police siren, bringing your ears to the verge of blood. 

without emerging from the covers, your single hand shot up from underneath, feeling around your bedside table for your phone. you had to text mark about this crazy dream. however, when you instead picked up the keys for a hirose X9, a car that definitely did not belong to you, you choked at the revelation that the crazy street racing dream you had was in fact, not a dream.

[yukisohmasmokesweed]

Hi! I know you don't like Kureno very much and it's totally understandable given his character!! but if ever, what sort of plot amendments or story rewrite will u give for him or u have in mind in order for him to be at least more tolerable for you? I hope this question is not very offensive for you. I like your blog and how you run it!!

not offensive at all!! i dont like kureno very much but i do think he’s pretty interesting (or, that he has the potential to be). plus i don’t mind discussing characters i dislike since i usually dislike them for a reason lol!

this is hard because i think kureno’s biggest detriment is his relationship with uo, but that’s what connects him to the rest of the cast and it’s also his motivation to do his one plot-relevant thing (reveal to tohru that his curse is broken/akito’s gender). so he would still need a person who could be his insight into the outside world to make him realize that the life he chose for himself is not fulfilling and that he should do something about it. it helps that uo ties him to tohru, but seeing that he has met tohru before and he knows her affect on the other zodiacs, i’m not sure it’s completely necessary.

i think instead of a romance arc it would be more interesting to delve into why kureno acts the way he does. i always call him boring, and it’s because he is, but i also think it’s a mob situation where he’s repressing his personality so that he draws as little attention to himself as possible/so he doesn’t have to Feel his Feelings that might start conflict. he’s meant to parallel yuki in a lot of ways, and it would be interesting to contrast yuki’s desperate wanting for himself and him clawing his way out of the sohma cage for any amount of autonomy with kureno actively deciding to numb his desires completely and trap himself inside for someone else’s sake in a deeper and more personal way. instead of realizing that the only way to be with the person he loves is to leave the sohmas, he could realize (like yuki) that his life has intrinsic value and that his expected servitude to the family is wrong and should have never happened in the first place. of course he’s so deeply entrenched in the inner sohmas that there’s nothing much he can do about it, and would go about things the same way, revealing information to tohru in hopes that it will make a difference. 

the way that he comes to this conclusion is where i’m stumped though.  i get what takaya was doing by giving him a love interest in the main cast because it makes the audience care about it more, so that’s why i’m a bit stuck, because there’s no one really in the cast that would make sense for him as a love interest. he could get the tohru inspirational speech treatment like the other zodiacs, but i don’t think that alone would convince him to let go of a secret he’s been holding for ten years. maybe if he was exposed to the other zodiacs more and saw how much their lives have improved since they’ve begun making outside connections and realizing that sitting on this information will harm them even more as time goes on....but even so, kureno wasn’t motivated after all that shit went down with hatori, rin, and kisa so!

i think i also mentioned in a previous post that if we wanted to do a Takaya Everyone Knows Each OtherTM thing, he could be connected to kyoko or maybe even katsuya in the past and when he meets tohru, she reminds him of them, plus he can see how much she loves the sohmas and i think that would be a decent motivator. i hate stuff like that but it’s very takaya-like lol but everyone knows kyoko so i guess it wouldnt be too out of left field if he had a random chance encounter with katsuya and tohru’s speech pattern gives him a blast to the past and a bunch of empathy.

this is a hard question! because kureno has so little screentime and so much of his arc revolves around his romance, it would end up being a completely different thing. but in general i guess i would want to exchange the romance arc with an arc focusing more on his emotional development and having his eyes opened to the possibility of a life outside through realizing his life has value and that he should have autonomy over it.

[winterbuckytho]

Aint’ Too Proud To Beg

Pairing : Stucky ft. Recovered Buck

Wordcount : 3240

Plot : 2018. Bucky gets turned in to a nekoboy, and Stucky has their first failed attempt at making it together, awkwardness ensues. But it’ll all work itself out...right?

Warning : NS.FW, Sm.ut, Erot.ica, Swearing, An.al Fing.ering, An.al se.cks (lmao)

A/N : Yea, so I just do that ⬆ to make it harder for the  t a g s  to be hidden. I’ll still link it with something else too

"Are ya happy now!?!" Steve shouted slamming the door as the went into the house

"How am I the bad guy here?!" Bucky yelled throwing the keys on to the couch fighting his way out of the combat gear he wore down to his undershirt and leggings.

"Bucky, what the fuck were you thinking?!" Steve shot back ignoring what Bucky had said in the heat of his anger, which was really fear with a sharp tongue.

"Would you fucking stop yelling at me?!" Bucky nearly shrieked hands in clenched fists at his sides.

"You jerk!!"

"You punk!

"You... You are the worst right now, Steve! I can't believe you! I was trying to save you!"

Steve replied arm out gesturing at the state of Bucky "By diving face first into incoming fire from weird alien tech we've never seen!?"

"I couldn't help it! I couldn't stand there and do nothing! I had to try, it's what you woulda done too!" Bucky yelled before stalking off to the bathroom and slamming the door shut once he got there.

He stared into the mirror and kind of wanted to cry. He was scared and uncomfortable and all he wanted was Steve's help right now and instead was only getting lectured By Mister I’m-Tall-Now-So-I’m-The-Daddy-Here. He hadn't had time to understand what the thing was doing to every transformed victim, just time to see their human bodies begin shift and change becoming more bestial in form as they screamed in pain. And the end of one of the glowing spear things pointed at Steve.

He put himself between it and Steve without even thinking. There had been so much pain but a lot of it he could barely remember now, but it had started with weird sensations on his head feet and base of his spine. He had screamed with the intensity as Steve put the creature out of commission ceasing the blast from the device. But by then the transformation was half over and had changed him.

Bucky looked and he saw six four inch long whiskers, three sticking out each of his cheeks. His eyes reluctantly crawled upward and took in the dark furred ears perched atop his head. They sat limply looking sad. He could hear from them. He heard Steve still grousing under his breath three rooms away. He looked down at his hands. One of them was now covered in fur, his fingers more squat and tipped with retracted claws. He found he could extend them and retract at will. Bucky turned sideways and saw at the back of his shirt a long dark furred tail stuck out. It swiped back and forth at odd intervals it's tip sometimes twitching. He had never spoken cat body language before but he on instinct knew this is what you do with your tail when you are a step away from swatting any offender in the face.

Now Steve was saying "Christ... you can't be so damn ready to sacrifice some... " as he went to the kitchen to do something and get this frustrated energy out. He began gathering things and Bucky knew he was making something for Bucky to eat which he would deliver with an apology.

"Fucking asshole... Why can't you just... " Buck whimpers as he does start crying, covering his face with his metal arm. He more than anything had wanted to hug Steve and make sure he was alright and let Steve hug and make sure Buck himself was alright.

Anxiety hit him and as he was beginning to panic he stumbled back and his legs struck the tub. He turned and looked at it and instantly needed to be inside it. He didn't so much as think as he felt "I am scared and can fit there".

Without thinking he stepped in and sat down in the tub then leaned forward as he wrapped his tail around his butt and thighs and rested his head on his arms and he felt the most comfort it ever felt in his whole life. He felt something strange but also comforting something in his head oscillating was producing a purr in his body. Bucky soon closed his eyes and rested in a light dose, his anxiety melting away again far faster than with any other technique he tried.

In the kitchen Steve yanked open the fridge and as upset as he was, had the presence of mind to moderate his strength and no trip the darn thing off the fridge as he went after the mayo. Unable to quit ranting he was thinking. 'Jesus Christ, please never let anything make him scream that way again. I just about tore that fucking thing’s head off for it. I don't know what I will do if someone hurts him like that and I fucking find out about it! And now he's mad as hell at me? Well, Buck I stick with my guns on this one, you can't keep doing things like that! I was so fucking scared. Also Lord forgive my potty mouth it's been a trying ass day...' while making tuna sandwiches until half a dozen of them sat on the plate in front of him.

"Goddamn you, Bucky. I understand. You're all I have left of my life before the ice too..."Steve sighed. Then he paused realizing the house was totally silent. Which was wrong if an angry Bucky was in there somewhere. He should be blasting something loud and angsty to get the intense physical part of frustration out as he has begun to do these last few years. Steve picked up the plate and went to see if Buck ever left the bathroom.

Finding the door closed, he tapped gently. "Honey?"

Bucky opened his eyes slowly and lifted his head. He uncharacteristically remained quiet preserving the soft vibration of oh his own purring. But then realized he smelled food and had to stop himself leaping across the room to rip the door open. He made a soft plaintive sound and turned his head to look at the door.

When there was no answer Steve began to speak again, now calming a bit further. "Sugar, you got to know, I would do the same in a heart beat, I would. And you would be in my shoes... Scared shitless, worry eating up any restraint and organization of yourself... So I'm sorry. But you can't keep doing things like that. What the hell am I supposed to do if you die saving me? How do you like the sound of being cloned?"

"Stupid. That is so stupid. And you did scare me. You were yelling and kicking the shit out of everything around us and I was confused, just wanting you to tell me the pain would stop and I'd be alright." Bucky said. It had a whine to it and he allowed it to because if he couldn’t be himself with Stave where the hell should he?

Steve opened the door and could now clearly hear Bucky purring. He looked on a moment astounded by the changes but also because he's never seen anything more adorable than the man of his dreams with the features of a cat. He came to the edge of the tub and handed Bucky the plate and then proceeded to lift him out as if he were a cat sitting in a shoe box once more happy that he was as strong as he was now to pick up this other grown man with just as much muscle as he and hold him and care for him. They moved into the living room where he sat on the sofa with Buck on his lap and Bucky took up a sandwich to handing it to Steve and took one for himself and began to nom on it. They nibbled and tried to refuel after a hard day of being almost killed and almost turned in to a 6 ft tall feline of some sort.

After a moment Bucky licked his lips and said in quite rational tones. "I'm sorry. But I all would do it again. I can't watch something happen to you."

Steve's smiled and in it was some exasperation. "Don't doom me to watching something like that though!"

Bucky's left ear flicked as he said it. "I... I'm sorry Steve. I'm so tired. I didn't mean to scare you, baby."

Steve without thinking reached up up rubbing Bucky's head forgetting about the ears then ending up bumping them with his hand. "I'm sorry too. Oo, do they still hurt?" He said removing his hand.

Bucky placed it back out top of his head with both his hands before Steve could move his hand too far. "N-no... it's like regular ones. they're stupid sensitive so I heard you still spouting off in the kitchen. Even heard the can opener. They feel a little uncomfortably cold though."

Steve smoothed his hand over one then the other gently then closed his hand over them trying to warm it up.

Bucky felt the touch as if amplified by double and couldn't stop trying to flick his ear when Steve touched it but it felt quite nice and he wondered how much more of his body would be like this. ”M-mnf~”

"Ah, s-sorry..." Steve blushes as he starts to move his hand but then Bucky presses his head against Steve's hand with the cutest hecking expression of both yearning and pleasure Steve chuckled and pulled him close, hugging him to his chest and going to let the other ear.

Again Bucky began to purr and Steve nearly exclaimed out loud at the sound till he realized what fit was. Then he had a brief fight with himself which he lost and finally simply went. "Aaw... Is it bad if I want to say it's not so bad? Because I could get used to your purring."

Bucky hated to admit it but he gave in. "Now that it doesn't hurt... I can't wait till someone comes up with a fix. But no... It's not that bad." His tail wiggled in the air as if drawing S shapes on it and he found himself after the chaos and fear in the mood for more intimacy.

Steve agreed hand now sliding down Buck's back. "Yeah, we know a few genius scientists, people that were known as gods and an honest to God wizard. We'll get you back to normal and I'll take care of you every step of the way."

"Thanks Stevie. I'm so glad you're here. I can't image what fresh hell those asshats at Hydra would have done to me after something like this..." Bucky murmured.

Steve rubbed his back a moment and he rubbed Steve's chest in a moment of mutual reassurance. Then Buck turned his whiskered face and pecked Steve on the lips but Steve stopped him turning away again. "No, don't you're still a fucking knock out, Dollface..." He said softly smiling as Bucky blushed. He knew having his body changed this way must hurt Bucky and he also knew he was going to make sure Bucky never had time to worry he was not good enough anymore. He kissed him deeply hand sliding lower to squeeze Buck's ass and came in contact with the new limb sticking out of his beloved. "Oh, I forgot-" he started but was drowned out by a loud cry from Bucky.

The man in question had tilted his head back as his voice came out in a wild get aroused reaction. He then flopped against Steve taking a few shaky breaths.

"Lord in heaven, did I hurt you, oh God sweetheart I'm so-"

"Hng... it w-wasnt that kind of feeling...it was just so... intense, hah~" Bucky said his face flushed red.

"What do you mean? I can stop..."Steve said with worry. He tilted Bucky's face up to his with a finger under his chin and saw unexpectedly an expression of Bucky's he knew very well. Buck's ocean hued eyes were full of lust and he looked on Steve as if just realizing who he was.

"Y-you don't have to. I ju-just never had a tail before..." He looked away a second brows furrowed. "That I can recall anyways." He returned his gaze to Steve. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed until then but the smell of Steve's body was making him crazy for him. He obviously had been smelling Steve for most of their lives and knew his scent well but he figured with the outer changes some mental impact had occurred and now smelling was as important as seeing in a knife fight is. And he felt he could swim in a tub scented with Steve. The fact that this smell was more important at the moment than the fact he might have cat's brain in his head was proof of it. He licked his lips in a slow manner and bit his lower lip as his back arched and his tail whipped side to side in an expression of obvious excitement. "It... it felt good just, explore gently. It's kinda like first time anal, you know?"

Steve blinked in surprise a moment and slowly rested a hand on Bucky's new appendage. It's tip flicked in side to side motions and Bucky inhaled in a soft gasp.

"God, that is so bonkers. It's like the opposite of phantom limb or something because, ah~ it's definitely there. It's sorta... getting to me." He said not wanting to admit he was growing more aroused by the minute. The combination of scent and touch were making something odd but enjoyable happen. For some reason he kept wanting to emit some message to even the empty room that Steve was his.

"You mean... it's a turn on?"

"Maybe..."

Steve returned to kissing Buck, his finger smoothing down the tail’s length. "Are you sure you don't know? Because a certain hunch is telling me you know the answer." He said in quiet tones wrapping a hand around it loosely at it's base and stroking all the way out off the top of the end of Bucky's tail.

Bucky grabbed a hold of Steve's shirt and tugged him down on to the plush carpet with him where he nipped and kissed Steve's throat. Steve in turn rolled Bucky on to his belly, kissing Buck around the shoulders and nape. Bucky presses his hips up and back rubbing against Steve's crotch with a deep moan.

Griping the tail Steve scratched about the base of it digging his fingers in to the fur, yet not scratching hard.

Bucky shuddered pressing his hips further upward into Steve's touch. "Come on, it's getting weird. I'm starting to earnestly want you to fuck me."

"OK. Fine. " Steve let go and made like he was gonna walk away.

Bucky mewled on the floor staring up at Steve. "You can't leave, you have to fix this!"

"Didn't you just ask me to stop?"

"I did. But you're a dummy. I meant that... I just didn't want you to think you can touch me there any old time you want! I want you to touch it when I say!"

"Oooh, I understand now. So should I continue?"

"Mmfff!! " Bucky half moan half sqealed with impatience.

"What was that? I didn't hear any consent so guess I'll just go have a cup of frozen yogurt, seeya Bucky... "

"You big dumb... Get over here now and finished what you started, Steven!"

Steve went on all fours leaning over Buck. He ignored the fur and grasped Bucky's ear in his teeth.

Bucky moaned and his head began to tilt back towards Steve. Steve undid his fly and pushed Bucky's leggings down. He gripped him by the tail and Bucky cried out again. Then he began toying with Bucky's hole, massaging the head of his cock against it. "I'll take you for little ride... Won't you like that baby? Huhn? Who's a good kitty?" He spit on his hand and Bucky gasped "Oooh, fuck!!" knowing what the sound meant. Steve used his hand to get Bucky open and push his dick inside. "Uh-hoh, yeah, do it, babe!

When he was ready he released Bucky's tail and pinned his arms to the floor by the wrist and began to plow Bucky like no tomorrow. Tail lifted ass up and face down Bucky moaned and gasped as Steve fucked him hard there on the livingroom floor. His tail ear and back all still vibrated with pleasure. He thought he could really get used to it.

"Oh, aaahn! "Bucky whimpered in long loud tones.

It was with intense jackhammer like thrusts, Steve thought drove Bucky to cum rather quickly.

"Ooh oh oh god!!!" Bucky moaned Steve kept going to let Bucky ride it out and soon came himself.

But then he noticed something different that had never happened before. Bucky still laying on the floor was staring straight ahead no longer panting or moaning in bliss till Steve asked. "Babe? You okay??"

Bucky turned his head very slowly and in a different situation would have made Steve laugh at how much he looked like that one famed gif of confused Britney Spears. "T-that's it? How..?"

Steve frowned and pulled away to sit beside Bucky looking at him very seriously. "Honey?"

"How in the fuck did we do all that and I didn't even make it? Something is seriously wrong if you can fuck me like that and I don't cum from it. What new fresh hell..?" Said Bucky unaware that Steve was rather disappointed in himself for the poor performance and the fact he just assumed Bucky was having as much pleasure as he did.

"I... it sounded like..."

"Yeah, it was that good, I just hit a wall and nothing happened." Buck paused for a long awkward silence. "Alright, now this feels weird and I don’t like it."

"I could try again if you just need more time." Steve offered. His own opinion mirrored Bucky's. It's had been a long time since he felt so inept and he did not miss feeling his shortcomings so starkly. 'Shortcomings indeed...' he thought wryly.

"I... dunno. Maybe I'm too stressed out. We can try again later, because I was really looking forward to finishing with you. Don't worry, Nat says it can be like this sometimes, and nothing is perfect 100% of the time." Bucky said trying not to make Steve feel inadequate.

Steve pulled him into a hug. "Okay babe. As long as you're okay. It's just one time. I don't know maybe because we usual don't argue then try that."

Bucky nodded but disagreed. 'Steve, we have stupid little fights and have make up sex all the time. You just don't want think about this anymore and even though I need release still, I'm gonna let that go because today has be too much.'

The pair separated, Bucky going to bathroom to finish alone and Steve to the bedroom to take out something for both to put on after a nice shower. Oblivious to Steve Bucky frustrated himself trying to to prompt an orgasm with anal then finally gave up and begrudgingly took the easy o which came with cock stimulation. The rest of the night had a sour taste to it though they tried had to go back to normal. Bucky's new appearance confirmed normal might not be 8n reach anymore.

TBC