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luck-of-the-drawings · 3 months

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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

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hashileio · 1 year

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@owl-bones seems like you’ve found some good friends at the cafe :)

some polaroids to capture the memories

#hashiart #undertale au #cursed coffee shop au #killer sans #killer!sans #nightmare sans #nightmare!sans #the nightmare pic is that one pic from the office where michael's shakin hands with his old boss lmao it was too perfect to pass up #(supposed to be your first day on the job)#nm only gives out handshakes to his best employees (he's only given out the one)#also hello u are too kind hehe

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ruvviks · 3 days

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made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it

#personal #like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand #it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character #but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it #you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences #if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such #basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending #locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on #friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like #how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone #it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out #because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want #if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending #but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as #valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that #isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because #valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO #you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience #if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead #you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons #there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like #learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation #sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa #sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule #and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise #being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save #but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on #difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla #and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things

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miabrown007 · 1 year

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a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out.#but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned.#put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai.#he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course!#*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter*#*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end*#war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

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ragequilt · 11 months

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thanks to @ongreenergrasses for the tag! i have an unsuppressible need to do tag games and you feed me so well

Rules: When you get this, post five songs you actually listen to. Then send it to your favorite people on here.

1. City of Mirrors - Pure Bathing Culture

2. My wing (rave music edit) - Otyken, Billx

3. 2 My House - Benny Benassi, Chris Nasty

4. New Clothes - i_o, Lights

5. Quit - Schaffer the Darklord

tags: @bobawithpomegranate, @cat-slippered, @ofmermaidstories, @andypantsx3, @unintentionalgenius

#here's the secret deep lore of me for this post #i discovered pure bathing culture from a TUMBLR POST like three years ago #like it sat and sat in my likes and then i finally listened to it #and now they are an irrevocable part of my personality #i have one of their albums on record even!#the album? ep? this song is from came out FOUR DAYS AGO #i'm obsessed #also i have no idea how i'm supposed to pick my favorite people on this website i love you all #Quit actually singlehandedly got me through the christmas season last year at work #every time i had to do something that distinctly should not have been my job or problem #my toxic trait is that i absolutely have backstory for every song on this list and every other list #i can't remember shit but i can remember where and what i was doing when a song comes on #(the first PBC album i listened to on loop for three days cleaning out the dairy cooler)#tag games #also it's important to tag people before you post the post #jsyk #if i didn't tag you and you want to play consider this your tag!!!#ily

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gideonisms · 1 year

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I bet whoever started the church doctrine of never loving anything in the world more than god just had god as a special interest

#harrow coded.#the process of creating this post was like. reads poem about icarus aging into a boring office job #thinks oh cool poem! but this author and i have different perspectives of the world i think it's great to be cringe & fail if it means #you get to eat every day and funnel your energy into niche projects that make you happy #starts thinking about all the niche topics in this world that make me happy & how it's great to be alive so i can think about niche topics #remembers old sermon that i took way too literally when i was fixating on various books as a kid #then i felt bad about it bc if i was really good at religion i'd be fixating on god instead #thinks hmm that rule probably was intended for people who love things a normal amount #thinks wait no. no one who loved things a normal amount would have created this rule in the first place #thus. hyperfixation on jesus christ #thus. harrow coded #thanks for coming to my ted talk enjoy this look into what's going on in my brain while i'm supposed to be studying & doing my laundry

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white-nolse · 3 months

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At this point I don't know why my parents ask me if I want to go somewhere or not.

#Why asking if you're going to force me to go anyway?#''I'm taking your sister to the mall because she needs more formal clothes for her new job''#Yeah why tf do I need to go tho?#''You need to go out more often'''#It's the first day of the spring break #I'm supposed to spend these days at home to relax from uni #not to go out against my will

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britneyshakespeare · 5 months

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unfortunately it is not the time to be normal. it is time for me to watch richard iii (1983) directed by jane howell for the third time in six months.

#i was trying to watch other things but i couldn't leave off the henry vi trilogy wo watching richard iii #tales from diana #ron cook is sooooo good as richard #also i wonder how ppl enjoy this play (or adaptations w it) without having read/seen the 3 parts of henry vi first?#not like 'i wonder' like 'i dont see it as possible' but like this time around especially #it really just sticks w me how inseparable it is from its 3 prior history plays you know #like i first read the henry vi plays bc ned convinced me to way back in the day #and i knew nothing about any of them medieval english kings. like not the first thing #so i didnt realize r3 was immediately after them or like the same series or anything #im not even sure i understood yet how famous *some* of the history plays are yet? or. i dont remember #i still had had the riverside shakespeare for less than a year when i started reading h6 #so it was still pretty new to me i suppose.#but i suppose i cant imagine how compelling richard might be wo the buildup of his characters in h6 parts 2 and 3 #shakespeare does such a good job of developing his character throughout those plays that by the time you get to his own #its like YAAAASSS BITCH #KILL THEM KILL EVERYONE WE LOVE YOU YOURE PERFECT #(he is not perfect. but he is to me)

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angeloftrumpets · 8 months

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Thinking about the other f/o 🥹🥹🥹

#um... mike 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#HES SO CUTE IN THE MOVIE I BEED TO HUG HIM i need to help him have one okay day i care him 😭😭😭😭#i might be making a s/i.. (aut.ism creature eyes.......)#i started thibking about like. okay. OK. let me sort thus out ih my brain but like.. he works 5 nights #someone works the other two?? (if this is van.essa im sorry idek) and uh what if #and they work one shift together 🥺🥺🥺#idk if its a spoiler but i was like.. tbinking about a scene where they first meet and my si would go “so what do you do all night? are you #good at your job and actually watch the cameras or do you just goof around?“#mike: uhh i usually sleep #what do you do?“#si: “draw or play the arcade games #since i only work there twice a week i draw something for each of the animatronics #i leave the paper right infront of yhem and suddenly its gone #though one time recently someone put one i made on the drawing wall“#(i wont continue this cringe but basically mike was the one who put it there thinking it qas supposed to be on the wall)

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine

#brought to you by: i think one of my feelings lately of A Shift is in my less than ever running this like continuous background function of #looking for Thee Answer (just like the black suits) in any & everything that could serve as the Key to like. whatever could fit into place #to like set things on a [hell yeah. life? better] path. juxtaposing this recent sense of things with the [lol. in retrospect i Do see a new #context wherein i can Recognize smthing abt myself] past going on of like. granpa greentext story be me be fifteen i'm in college b/c i hat #school i also mostly assumed i'd probably fail out freshman yr but didn't. i've never known what i'd wanna major in & as a sophomore i'm de #supposed to figure it out in time for scheduling my jr yr classes (though Ideally have known from the start / been scheduling thusly) & so #many evenings during dinner i'm furiously perusing the daily print news as i've been doing for some yrs to Keep Up W/Current Events but now #also consciously like ''boy i hope in the course of doing this i stumble across some info that sparks some eureka moment of Getting what my #major should Obviously be so i can understand the rest of my life around [do job] b/c i sure as hell don't understand it around [be married #much less [be parent] so one option remains obvi'' whereas now i realize like lol you Were figuring out a guiding light in doing so & that #perspective being honed was one of Having A Political Analysis times....which also provides another Example of [only being able to interpre #what makes your life & your world the way it is: via Your Personal Failures to have already Had Better] in that just like i often forget i #misguidedly (but also reasonably; clearly also using & seeking that autonomy & freedom) tried to have a better existence within the #situation i was in by Coming Out As Trans to parents via an email that was then not directly discussed ever; b/c any legitimate discussion #was not permissible like how so many matters of [supposed correct existence] are Unspeakable so as to be Unquestionable #languaging that succeeds & sustains itself having to be expansive / flexible / creative / evolving too. Making Up Words hell yes #anyways so i also forget i Did try to propose majoring in things that Did more approach what i was suspecting were things i'd wanna do #but even the first like expression of anything on the periphery of that was met with ''no you'd hate it b/c you'd have to deal w/Stupid Ppl #every day'' (by which was meant; with believed inherent synonymity: poor people) & then i also will oft forget i pushed for it any further #which i Know i did b/c of it next being met with angry & aggressive ''i've never heard you talk abt that interest before So''#(wonder why? withholding info to protect yourself=finding room in one's life for existing more freely; exercising the autonomy to Do That)#but it's easy to forget b/c The All Encompassing Perspective was rather [i'm sure Failing to just Know my major for the sole possibility fo #defining one's entire life: The Correct Dream Job] & then Failing to push it or just express it & be understood ''correctly'' even if i Did #have any ideas in that realm. vs seeing how i Was succeeding & was recognizing shit & pursuing it & looking out for myself & etccc #it's undeniable lol like the framing even that Blaming Oneself is an autonomy seeking response. b/c your autonomous power in your own life #sure Would be more immediate if Everything Really Was Your Fault (when ofc really this is abt obscuring & denying the responsibility of ppl #who have the power over others' lives & then have to act like this is all the fault of the Others; they themselves have never Truly Chosen)#no victim blaming no condemnation of anyone's ''passivity'' here babey #re: the undeniability it's how like. maybe you've only Just realized you're not cis but in doing so it's like ''oh That's what i already #recognizing in various ways throughout my whole life'' it's all always Been there/going on & perspex shifts + new lenses can reveal them

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fantabulisticity · 1 year

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Just screamed so loud in my car that both my ears rang and a spider fell from the ceiling. My throat hurts.

#my pharmacy won't fill my meds AGAIN because some motherfucker decided to make a new policy that requires more instructions or something #i keep not getting my meds when I need them because every time i get a new script sent out (like one I haven't been on before) i hear...#...nothing back from the pharmacy; generally for days; and then when i call them (every 10 or 15 or 30 minutes for several hours) no...#...one picks up the goddamn phone and i have to make time to go in in person and ask the pharmacist when my meds will be ready.#and then they tell me 'oh yeah we HAVE the script from your doctor. we just need MORE INFORMATION and sent them an ELECTRONIC NOTE...#...(reminder that i live in fucking rural idaho so most people use a fucking phone and not 'an electronic note') and haven't heard back...#...from them yet so we're just waiting on that :)' and then i have to smile and thank them bc it isn't their fucking fault the policy is...#...some fucking bullshit and then i have to call my doctor on the phone (and can never reach them directly so i have to get a...#...receptionist to leave them a note that i HOPE they'll see in the next couple of days but sometimes they don't) and since i never have...#...an emergency it's often 2 or more weeks before anyone gets back to me. i usually have to call the pharmacy again. and then they don't...#...always answer and i usually have to go in and ask AGAIN why my meds aren't ready and they go 'oh we're still waiting on your doctor'...#...:) or 'they sent us a message back but it wasn't ENOUGH information and we sent them another ELECTRONIC NOTE that they won't see for...#...days or weeks so we recommend YOU call your doctor even though we're the ones flinging you around like a rag doll and you have 0...#...control over it. and by the way we're going to continue doing this for like a fucking year every time you get a new script. and when...#...your doctor asks you if the new meds are working you're going to have to say 'i have no fucking clue because it took 6 weeks to get...#...my goddamn prescription filled and it takes 3 months for the medication to show signs of working so my pharmacy wasted HALF of that...#...time sending electronic notes instead of filling my motherfucking prescription and i was supposed to be off these meds by summer...#...since they cause intense sunburn and shit and i have an OUTDOOR JOB NOW but my acne is still bad and hasn't gone away enough to stop...#...using the super intense stuff and my face hurts and swells and oozes and i have to wear a wide-brimmed hat and sunscreen EVERY time...#...i go outside because i can get a sunburn in 20 minutes now and i've been having heat rashes from the sun for the first time in my...#...LIFE and i have to fucking monitor myself every time i go outside and it's the warm season and i need a new pair of lighter work...#...pants but they don't sell above a size 18 for women even though men go up to like a size 45 which is like a size 24 or 26 in women's...#...and men's pants don't fit me bc i was blessed with the largest ass in the history of mankind' and i am so. fucking. tired.#of all the bullshit.#i feel miserable. my mom is buying me otc imodium bc i have NO IDEA when my prescription will come available. i just want the cramping...#...to stop. i've been having diarrhea all day every day since sunday. the cramps HURT and they keep me up at night. i haven't been...#...eating much bc there's so much shit moving around and hurting in my gut that i can't feel when i'm hungry and food doesn't soumd great.#so i'm weak and slow and tired and can't go to work and i'm using up all the sick days i was hoping to save up to visit my friend in...#...cyprus this winter. so that probably can't happen. but anyways. my mom came by while i was typing this out and i feel betterish.#personal

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h3rmitsunited · 1 year

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I was going back through my old school stuff from like 1st grade and there was this like journal where we had to write like a couple sentences each day to practice writing and stuff and i had this one day where part of what I wrote was "I hate myself today because I had to change my card to yellow" (the cards were like discipline things so you started with green and if you weren't being good you had to stand up and go to the front of the class to change your card) and I don't remember what it was for but I'm sure I was just like maybe talking or something like that.

But like damn. Even just thinking about the times I had to change my cards in those classes makes me want to cry. I remember always being so upset anytime the teachers weren't happy with me and then I think about me now and how I'm always expecting people to think the worst of me or be hiding that they don't like me or always expecting the other shoe to drop even if they've been telling me I'm doing a good job because I'm bad and I need them to just tell me why and what exactly they're holding back

And I've got a review coming up at work soon with my bosses since it's almost my 6 year anniversary of working there and all I can think is oh good now they can stop telling me how great I am and how happy they are to have me there and just tell me everything I'm doing wrong because I know the compliments aren't right and they have to have been holding back what all my issues are.

And I think something in my upbringing may have kind of fucked my head up... just a little bit

#peeerrhaps i should start looking at therapists again to work on some isssssuuuueeesss....#the last one was not that helpful but she was the first person i looked at and tried and she did well enough #just didnt really get deep into anything under the surface #i literally cant take compliments. like idk if its like a youre supposed to be humble so dont let it go to your head thats turned into #dont internalize any praise ever but if anyone ever complains about you then its real and you should internalize it times a thousand #or maybe its just a i kinda hate myself and dont feel like i deserve good things or anything ever #i think some of it is im ashamed about my stupid inability to get to work on time. like if i force it and work myself up #maybe i can be on time like a few days in a row #but the momentum drops so fucking fast and then im back to well im here before we open even if i was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago #but also like i get there before stuff is going on and like its not that late and i havent mentioned the issue because #i feel like if i did theyd say oh well then just get here at the later time youve been arriving close to its fine #but then stupid brain will go okay so this is the new time which means that im going to shift to arriving even later #so i just have to keep relying on the shame and guilt and panic to get me there in the mornings #which is not fun #i just hope the review goes well other than my bad time management #i feel like it will... hopefully. theyve talked about possibly 'promoting me' which would be me doing the same stuff ive been doing #basically but then id just have the title (and pay 🤞) to go along with that #i dont want to get my hopes up but we'll see what happens #im going to like try super hard to get to work on time until the review though and like after but still #come on clarissa do a good job

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iknowicanbutwhy · 1 year

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12 hour shifts should be illegal. Holy hell.

#venting. Feel free to scroll past #so tired of being stuck in a hole of a town #you try to look for a job and it's like hey! your options are: 10 jobs where there's never enough people working and you have to do #5 tasks at once or 3 jobs where you slave your entire day away in a factory with hypersurveillance and no social interaction #and hey haha maybe you'll get a break?? It's totally not guaranteed in your first 10 options hahaha #FUCK #the nearest marginally okay job is an hour away #gas cost is up the fuckin roof #but hey! there's ways of getting around earning money. You could buy something and make other people's lives more miserable by letting them #borrow it and holding power over them because there's no place to escape to except for another person who owns their shit :)#LIKE YOUR FUCKING HOUSE #AND YOUR CAR #AND THE MONEY YOU SAVE FOR YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR CAR THAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE MOST OF THE TIME #GOD KNOWS I CANT FIX MY GODDAMN TEETH #you could join the shitshow that is online investing- sorry i mean advanced pyramid scheming with a little bit of actual stake in the world #please. please oh my god #the only way to make things even a little easier is to live in a housefull of 5-6 working people but god. At least kids don't have to #work anymore because of government assistance. But once you're an adult with anything a tad over minimum wage? You're on your own buddy #Life was never supposed to be about living hand to mouth. We surpassed that way of living as soon as agriculture became a thing.#automation. surplus. the ability to relax can be mass produced.#please. i just want a job to support the few people i have without turning into some stressed asshole that either sleeps or rages at them

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thedarklyblue · 9 days

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starting to worry that i'm toeing the line of being actually annoying to these folks but in my defense i start tomorrow and they have not told me SHIT

#.txt #had to fight to get the general guide before i left (three weeks after the date he promised it)#don't know where i'm actually living (in a house temporarily but i can't find the name of the one i'll b moving to on the map)#<-not their fault though #didnt hear anything about what they wanted me to do ? like i have a job title but i didn’t know where to go or when for my first day #turns out the person i'm directly under doesnt even get here til tuesday so they just have me doing inventory #but i also don't have any idea how i'm supposed to be tracking my hours bc they havent told me!#and sm i'm working under suggested reading the handbook and the script! well your boss sent me the handbook but the script isn't here #or in the dropbox #sooooo can you send that to me #this feels like a situation where you schedule an orientation for day 1 #which they implied has happened before for this position #but uhhhhh if there is one i haven't heard about it!!!#anyway. sent two emails today and overthinking them #asked hi what do you want from me! they gave me general instructions for tomorrow #then asked can i pleasee have the script and who do i ask for an overview of hours tracking #that's not exactly demanding #cannot fuckng wait to move into my final place for the summer and actually have a routine #this shit sucks #compoundposting

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myname-isnia · 2 months

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If my school administrator has a million haters, I’m one of them. If my school administrator has a thousand haters, I’m still one of them. If my school administrator has one hater, it’s me. If my school administrator has no haters, then I have left this world. If the world is with my school administrator, then I am against the world

#that woman is INFURIATING #never mind that she doesn’t parent her own fucking kids properly so they’re two of the most annoying people in existence #she always acts like it’s our fault if we don’t know something or weren’t taught it #‘it’s supposed to be part of your school program!!’ yeah well it wasn’t!#bring it up with the teachers not us #we lost three russian + literature teachers in a year and since there are like 3 weeks left of school they haven’t hired anyone new #so she’s the one who covers our lessons #and not only did she go completely off track. she randomly decided we were gonna write haikus #we’re not gonna learn how to write haikus. we’re gonna be told ‘three lines. 5-7-5. make it about nature. go’ and that’s it #and then we’ll be scolded if we do it wrong #and I do it fine!! I’m capable of counting my syllables #but she decides that nothing I write is poetic enough #I tried like three separate times!!! and nothing is good enough!!!#‘oh you dislike literature because you only like lessons where you get praised!’#first of all. yes. I’m a human being. I like being told I did a good job at something #second of all. NO. when we had the teacher prior to the one who just left I loved russian and literature!#they were some of my favourite lessons!!#you’re the one who makes then insufferable!!!#ughhh #my friend was off school today so I didn’t even have anyone to trade annoyed glances with :/#and I’m PMSing too so all my emotions are heightened #this woman will drive me to murder one day I swear

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emypony · 3 months

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#i went from 'hey maybe im figuring out how to be an independent adult!'#to 'every day i wish and i pray tomorrow is the day i dont wake up'#i became so suicidal because of my job. literally #i just want myself dead. simple #apparently not choosing your first proper full time job is? no one's problem?#“oh well you chose this” seriously? no one's ever made a mistake?#i dont CARE thst you have a kid im SORRY you were struggling by yourself and im much needed help and you are also giving me even-#MORE responsibility. and yet its still not enough. im not enough.#i almost thought i killed a dog today. it traumatized me #how am i supposed to perform when i dont have even 20% of the required equipment to perform a groom on an agitated elderly fucking dog?#it broke me. i want out. stupid unemployment file GET APPROVED FASTER #I WANT OUT OF HERE #either i get out. or im *making* a way out.#i told my mom one day it won't be me calling #it will be a hospital #and that day is growing ever so closely #and its scary and i wouldnt wanna do anything but at this point anything is better than this #im tired. and this isnt living.#personal #vent #tw suicide thoughts #tw sui ideation #idk what tags to use.#its 2 am. im tired #please.

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