#(using she because i’m pretty certain those are her pronouns but i apologize if i’m wrong)

[leftmysoulbythesideoftheroad]

i need to learn some way to actually keep up my favorite musicians. because i don’t use social media (just tumblr which doesn’t really count), and i found out a month ago that highly suspect put out an album last fucking year and i had no idea. i would have listened to that shit the second it was up if i had any way to know it existed.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

On the topic of EoT’s suspension and whether or not that’s a self ask anon, it’s very much likely bc I’ve never really seen any of LO’s fans use her exact name calls for anything or think they’re being creative by coming up with a clever insult for something she doesn’t like, or copy her exact phrasing word for word, not that I’ve really paid much attention to that anyway, however….I was once a LO fan, and my ex as far as I know, most likely still is. Even when we were still together, they sometimes threw around specific terms LO uses when talking about stuff ie “white favoritism” in terms of writing characters, shipping and character lineup, “Poe faced” about a mobile game we played together coming out with a new season at the time and their ‘concern’? over it being unnecessarily ‘edgy’, “gay reylo” about catradora, and “nazi/fascism/abuse apologist” about making their main villain oc irredeemable and making sure not to write them like rebecca sugar would,etc and i hate to say it but they’re a pretty good example of a sheep and not even just when it comes to Lilian. I think what started to have me go down this rabbit hole of how problematic and awful LO really is, is how I kept getting this vibe/fear of accidentally offending her, if I were to interact with her, basically walking on eggshells, which is not good, and brings me back to my own past traumas with toxic abusive assholes I’ve dealt with. If anything I still kind of enjoy MO’s art and videos, but I’ll have to watch in a way that doesn’t go straight to LO’s pocket.

And I kind of have the feeling LO’s influence may have also contributed to even my friendship ending with my ex too, bc even when we broke up as a couple, we were still okay with being friends, and even while I thought things were fine between us after awhile, apparently things weren’t on their end bc they pulled away from me completely over how similar our coming outs were; they told me after reflecting on it, they noticed this pattern of similarities between them and their timings, basically accusing me of copying them and tacking on their labels just so they could notice me? I’m sorry but don’t flatter yourself. Because that is farrrrrrrr from the truth and it literally took me over 6 yrs to come to terms with being gay, going back n forth on whether I was actually bi or lesbian, and even with my pronouns, I am comfortable with going by she/they, and even with those I still contemplated over for awhile bc I always had this fear of ‘faking’, so I made sure to take my time in figuring these things out, regardless whom I was interested in, not letting anyone define me and they knew that. While they said I never did anything objectively wrong, it’s like they just picked apart any “questionable” thing about me and used it as a reason to drop me when she/they were never like that at allllll, more so the opposite, and seeing them act this way felt like such a betrayal because I never saw it coming from someone I considered one of my best friends, we literally started dating on our 7th friendship anniversary the year before. We almost made it to a year and despite their hectic work schedule, I knew they still did their best and I was nothing but understanding and supportive and loved them no matter what…I just..feel like it could have been handled so much better and that we could have come to some sort of understanding. I made it clear that I wanted to hold myself accountable for any flaws and mistakes I may have made throughout our relationship and apologizing for my timings coming off a certain way that offended them…taking responsibility for myself, my actions, any misunderstandings, open to having a civil conversation, call things out and clear up any confusion, but they just weren’t here for it and I don’t think it would have mattered what I had or hadn’t explained at that point, not if they were just going to pick it apart in a black and white/all or nothing way like a certain youtuber they sheep over. Shortly after Christmas, I found they had me blocked/removed on everything… Also they didn’t know I was getting those walking on eggshell vibes from LO either, I never told them, mostly bc they seemed to be defensive of her and I was still trying to figure out my feelings on that, not knowing if it was intuition or just me being paranoid. I’m so sorry if this is all over the place, but I also recall seeing an ask here about friendships falling apart bc of LO’s influence and I felt I may as well work that in and vent a little. If LO encourages questioning the validity of someone’s labels and cutting them off over it, that is truly fucked up, considering she said that if someone identifies a certain way, you don’t question it unless you want your teeth knocked out, yet she also misgenders those she doesn’t like… those inconsistencies alone, among many, are a red flag.

.

[moonfishcake]

Hii!! Can i requests hurt/comfort! Uzui scenario with s/o she! pronouns which is insecure because of all his wives she has the smalles chest and she thinks Tengen likes her the least because of that. Like she thinks that's the only reason she's the least attractive wife. It can be either nsfw or sfw whatever to your preferences

Thank you and have a nice day!!

thank you for your request - tengen is *chef's kiss*

warning: a tiny bit of smut'ering

You really tried not to think about it.

And yet at the same time, it was too difficult to ignore. Whenever you stood next to Suma, Makio, and Hina, the difference between your builds became glaringly obvious. And while the three women stood proud and tall, you were often hunched over, fiddling with the ornaments adorning your sleeves.

It’s a particularly nasty remark from one of the lower rank demon slayers that stings particularly hard.

“Tengen seems to have a type,” he jokes. “All three of his wives are gorgeous!”

“There’s four of us, actually,” Suma pipes in.

The recruit turns to look at you with a dumbfounded expression, quickly getting flustered. “O-Oh, my apologies! I, uh, I did not realize you’re one of the wives too. Y-You’re very pretty, as well!”

You nod meekly to acknowledge his half-hearted compliment, but your eyes are already welling up with tears.

It hurts. You swallow painfully, darting off before Makio can pull you back by your sleeve. You don’t want anyone to see you crying. That recruit was right - they’re all so wonderful, so beautiful, and well, with certain assets that you lack. Why did Tengen even marry you? You’re clearly not his type. He must be forcing himself to be nice to you, because he is so considerate of your feelings. He probably doesn’t even find you attractive.

Isn’t it only natural to have the least favorite one among his wives?

You find yourself near an abandoned warehouse when you finally collapse from exhaustion, tears welling up in your eyes. Pulling your knees to your chest, you sob into the fabric of your clothes, but those awful thoughts keep gnawing away at your sanity. At some point, you pass out, too heartbroken and exhausted to carry on.

It’s late into the evening when you finally stir, and you gasp when you meet Tengen’s eyes, shining sharply in the moonlight. It’s already too late to hide from him - your eyes have been rubbed raw with tears, and your hair has turned into an absolute mess.

“Suma, Makio, and Hina caused quite the ruckus earlier,” he says, in an uncharacteristically serious tone. “Can’t believe my girls just jumped a single recruit and beat him bloody.”

You hang your head. Now they will be in trouble - because of you. Perhaps you really are a misfortune to this family, you think as new tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“To top it all off,” Tengen continues, as he crouches down to look you in the eye. “When I come back, I hear that my (Name) has run off somewhere. Not exactly flamboyant of you lot.”

He waits for you to talk patiently, but you’re unable to face him, counting the old floorboards that line the terrace. There are so many things you could tell him, or you could just brush it all off. Perhaps that would be for the best. And yet as soon as you open your mouth, all reason leaves your sense.

“You should divorce me,” your voice comes out choked, your shoulders shaking from pitiful sobs.

You don’t have the heart to gaze up at Tengen, but you can try to imagine how his face looks. Relieved? Surprised, but thankful you were the one to suggest it? Happy he does not have to pretend to like you anymore?

He’s quiet for a moment, and completely still.

“Divorce?” he mirrors your words, his tone flat and void of emotion.

“Y-Yes...” you sob, burying your face in your palms. Before you know it, all of those ugly thoughts spill from your lips like curses. “I know that you don’t like me... I-I’m not your type... I’m nothing like them, so you- you must hate me. I hate that you’re forcing yourself to be with me because you have to. And I-"

“Force myself to be with you..?” you see his fist clench. “(Name), where is this coming from? Was it that... rascal? Did he say something foolish to you?”

Tengen's springing to his feet in an instant, and you recognize a murderous aura surrounding him. You’ve known him long enough to realize how dangerous it would be to let him go now - so you rise to stop him, your small hands clinging to his muscular arm.

“Tengen, please...” you plead with him, gazing up through your wet eyelashes.

His expression softens immediately, tense muscles relaxing under your gentle hold. Before you can lower your gaze again, he snatches your chin and pulls you against his chest, eyes soft, but focused.

“Then tell me,” he frowns. “What about you could possibly not be my type?”

You try to wiggle away, but his hold is firm.

“(Name),” he cautions, and you realize there is no getting out of this.

“M-My chest,” you spill, squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment. You hope the ground will open up and swallow you whole.

“Your... chest?” he tilts his head to the side in confusion. “My sweet girl, have you gone mad?”

“I-It’s small!” your hands clench at your sides, your bottom lip quivering as you refuse to face your husband. “Compared to the rest of the girls, I-”

Tengen presses his thumb against your lips and hums in contemplation.

“I see,” he hums. “There has been an oversight on my part.”

You’re about to ask what he means, and yet before you know it, Tengen’s grabbing you and hoisting you over his shoulder. You squeak, hitting him on the shoulder weakly, but he merely chuckles.

“I’ll just have to show how much I love you... in the most flamboyant manner possible.”

He doesn’t bother taking you home as he strolls to the abandoned warehouse, dropping you off on one of the crates. You squeak as you fall and tremble as he looms over you, a trademark smirk gracing his features.

“T-Tengen...” you whimper as he nuzzles the crook of your neck, his rough hands raking down your body. “We can’t... Not here... What if someone walks in?”

You gasp when his calloused hands slip under your clothes, kneading and caressing your chest. “All the better,” he grins. “Let the whole world know how much I love my wife.”

When his rough kisses trail down to your chest, you’re already a whimpering mess, cheeks impossibly red. He’s biting, nipping, licking, and sucking, content to just worship you like this for the rest of the evening. He loves how soft you become in his hold, pulling gingerly at his hair, soon turning into a blubbering mess from his undivided attention.

Ever since that evening, he’s become even more attentive towards you! He flaunts you around at every chance he gets, he buys you gifts like cute kimonos that suit your figure and gorgeous lingerie and compliments you every chance he gets. He’ll spoil you until you learn to love your chest as much as he does, and he loves it a lot. At least initially, when the two of you are intimate, he will be surprisingly gentle and romantic, as much as his disposition allows anyways.

When you grow a bit more confident, he’ll dress you in the most exquisite, lewd lingerie and have you face the mirror as he has his way with you. Even when you’re out in public, he’ll sneakily grope you and whisper something very inappropriate into your ear, making you turn beet-red. Overall, he sees it as his duty to remind you how much he loves you, and make sure you love yourself too!

All of the girls will make sure you grow more confident in your body, too! Whether your relationship is platonic or romantic, they care about you a lot, and they find you absolutely stunning. Suma is always there to nuzzle you, remarking how you’re so cute, so soft, so stunning; Makio will jump at anyone who ever compares you in an insensitive manner; whereas Hina will give you the most heartfelt compliments.

Overall, everyone in your family adores you so much, any kind of insecurities you have will be rooted out with love and care before you know it!

[kikyan]

You’re my favorite Human (Yandere Izaya x F! Reader x Yandere Shizuo)

Before ANY of yall say anything, I wrote this as a birthday special to an online friend I once had. If Izaya and literally anybody else sounds OOC, it’s because this was written back in 2018/2019 after I watched Durarara!! For a bit of background info, I first watched Durarara!! back in middle school when a friend admitted to liking the anime and well I decided to watch too. This show was too complex for my small ass mind so I dropped it. Then I met my online friend (we are no longer friends) who would always comment on Quotev where I was most active at the time. Well, I literally only picked up this anime again for said friend and the birthday request. I wrote this immediately right after the show so if it sucks ass, there is a reason for it. Anyway’s I promise to give them justice if I manage to write my spooky Slasher AU’s for them. Also if you somehow end up managing which ‘slasher’ Shizuo and Izaya fit I’ll write you a special one-shot within my guidelines for your birthday/Christmas depending on the time constraint. Here you go, for the curious peeps!  This story branches off to two endings, Izaya ending w/ Smut and a Shizuo ending because I became a hardcore simp over that man and will literally do anything he tells me to. Regardless, I will edit the links and such for their appropriate endings! This story is also unedited so. . .have fun IG 

ALSO THE READER IS A FEMALE BECAUSE THIS WAS A BIRTHDAY REQUEST THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE DIDN’T LIKE SO YEAH FUCK THEM, BUT THEY WERE FEMALE AND WANTED THAT SO JUST REPLACE SHE/HER WITH THE PRONOUNS YOU FEEL MOST COMFORABLE WITH!!!!! I ALSO DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE BACK THEN SO YOU’RE A GENERIC MC WITH A STUTTER PROBABLY 

God I sucked at writing fics so much back then. . .

"IZAYA!!" 

The blonde man proceeded to pick up the red vending machine stationed outside a random building, preparing to lance it at the black-haired male he called Izaya. 

"S-Shizuo!! It's not worth it!! Calm down!! Um- I know! I'll make some tea for you to calm down just please drop the vending machine!!"

"NO, I CAN'T! AFTER SEEING THIS PIECE OF SHIT I'M ALREADY FUMING WITH RAGE!" 

"Shizuo!! Please!! Milk! Yep, milk will surely calm you down just please Shizuo!! You're attracting too much attention and you don't like violence right!!" 

“Throw it Shizu-Chan. Or are you too weak to hold it anymore.”

"IZAYA!!!" 

Shizuo turned away from the (h/c) individual as he began to grip a stop sign before removing it from the ground and began to run towards Izaya. 

" Shizuo stop!! Geez, Izaya please refrain from edging him on! Shizuo don't give in! You're better, in fact, you want to be better!! You want to be stronger to have more control right!! Well. . . Don't give in!!" 

At the sound of this Shizuo stopped before tossing the stop sign to the side and grabbing the (h/c) haired individual and dragging you off with him. 

Looking back, the person Shizuo was dragging turned around to look back at Izaya before stopping in their tracks and bowing apologetically. 

" I'm sorry Izaya for the commotion we caused, but I hope you understand that Shizuo is a bit difficult but I'm sure he can change! You too izaya, you seem to try to edge him on and that reflects poorly on you! So please Izaya, I hope you understand too!" 

" Oi (Y/N), what are you apologizing for?" 

Smiling softly at Izaya and giving him a shy wave (Y/N) turned to face Shizuo and continued to answer his question.

"Well, I mean I didn't stop him from edging you on!" 

" I swear you really are the most optimistic, apologetic, and kindest person on this planet. You are one of a kind." 

Laughing softly (Y/N)  turned to Shizuo as they began to reply, " Thank you! It means a lot to me Shizuo!" 

Walking alongside Shizuo, (Y/N) proceeded to make small talk unaware of the lingering dark eyes upon her figure.

~~ 

"(Y/N), I swear I can't figure you out. No matter what you do or what happens you always apologize to everyone. Even that damn Izaya!" 

"Well, Shizuo I like to be positive!! Besides, I'm sure second chances must be given!!" 

" Hmph. Even those who commit the worst of crimes?" 

"Well, I'm not the one entitled to forgive them for crimes committed against another, but I believe if someone truly wanted to, someone could change." 

"Oh?" 

" For example, you! I mean you've gotten several chances, haven't you? You have a stable job, although you can get quite violent, you have friends, and you are trying your hardest to change! So, I feel like anyone could change!!" 

"Hmph. You forgot something. . ." 

" I did?" 

" Yeah, I also have the best person next to my side, you, (Y/N) (L/N)." 

" I-I-I-I u-um S-sh!?" 

" Heh, you get flustered all of a sudden and it suits your personality. I wonder how I got stuck with someone like you (Y/N). . ."

~~

Bodies were lying around Shizuo in the school field as he huffed in rage and looked to the side to see a (h/c) haired female with (e/c) eyes looking wide at the scene that laid before them. 

" Hmph, what are you scared?" 

Shizuo asked as he looked at the female before looking a bit confused as he noticed the expression on the girl changed. She was smiling and shook her head before answering his question. 

" Nope! I mean what you did isn't good but I'm sure you have a reason! Besides, I feel like deep down you regret it. I mean, although you are pretty violent, you probably don't want to be right?" 

"I... .hmph. Stop being odd and spouting nonsense." 

As the female turned to the bodies she bowed apologetically and began to speak. 

"I'm sorry! I apologize for his behavior! He doesn't mean it! He regrets it! Besides, you guys should know that violence isn't acceptable so please apologize for your actions as well! Fighting isn't acceptable!!" 

"HUH? WHAT THE HELL? WHO THE HELL YOU APOLOGIZING TO?" 

" W-w-well I am apologizing to them and you!! I mean you didn't mean too!! Besides, fighting is wrong! Both parties were at fault so I must apologize for it!" 

" WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE? YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"W-w-well!! They are knocked out and can't speak, plus you won't apologize, you want to but you can't bring yourself to!!"

" OKAY BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" 

"I-I’M SORRY!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BOTHER YOU BUT I THOUGHT THAT WELL I-?!" 

"NOW WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?!" 

 "I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO-!?"

"STOP APOLOGIZING!" 

"I'M SORRY! AHHH I KEEP DOING IT!" 

"YEAH. NOW STOP!" 

"I'M SORRY I'LL TRY! WAIT-" 

"OH JUST SHUT UP!" 

"I'M SOR-!?" 

"STOP APOLOGIZING! GOD DAMN IT!" 

"I CAN'T IT'S A HABIT!" 

"Geez, troublesome woman." 

" Ahhh!! What time is it?!" 

"Why the hell are you asking me?" 

"Crap I think I missed my train! Now I have to walk home! Wait, that's fine! I missed gym class to help the teachers so this will count for my exercise! Of course, I shouldn't feel down!" 

" You're unusually optimistic. I'd be pissed as all hell if that happened." 

"Well I think everything happens for a reason and besides, you need to see the bright side of everything! Anyway, I need to go! I have to walk for about maybe 2 hours till I arrive home and I do have homework to complete! I'm sorry for being a bother but I hope to see you tomorrow at school!" 

"Wait." 

 "Yeah?" 

"Let me, let me walk you home alright." 

"B-b-but!?" 

"LISTEN IT'S MY FAULT YOU MISSED THE TRAIN SO LET ME WALK YOU HOME DAMN IT!" 

"Ahh okay okay! I'm sorry for bothering you but thank you!!" 

"Yeah, yeah just stop apologizing and don't start again." 

"Alright! By the way, what's your name?"

" Shizuo Heiwajima. Yours?" 

" (Y/N) (L/N)!" 

As they began to walk side by side (Y/N) began to laugh as she asked Shizuo questions upon question leading to Shizuo answering them and laughing as he realized, maybe having someone not fear him, was a good feeling. 

"Hey, Shizuo?" 

"Yeah? What is it?" 

" Wanna go for Russian sushi?" 

Looking down at the girl Shizuo gave his usual smirk before responding happily. 

" Sure, why not?" 

~~

"Hey, Shizuo?" 

" Yeah?" 

Turning around he met with the female who became his best friend and possibly his crush. Smiling softly he turned to give her all of his attention despite the number of bodies surrounding him in the field of his high school. 

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to um, well. . ." 

"SHIZUO! I have someone I would like to introduce you too!~" 

" Huh?" 

Shizuo replied in his usual tone as to be turned to meet the faces of the young boy with glasses, brown hair and grey eyes whom he quickly recognized as his friend Shinra Kishitani but the other boy, had dark hair and matching eyes he did not. 

"What do you want Shinra?" 

"Oh? Am I interrupting you and your girlfriend~" 

"Girlfriend?! I-I-I’m j-just a friend!?" 

Shizuo looked to the side but quickly locked eyes with the boy. Shinra looking at Shizuo quickly turned to introduce the other boy. 

"His name is Izaya Orihara! He is in the same year and class as us!" 

Upon looking at Izaya, Shizuo quickly launched an attack towards him before Izaya leaped out and grabbed his knife before slicing Shizuo across the abdomen. Shizuo looked down noticing the wound before looking back at Izaya. 

"S-s-shizuo?! Are you okay? Oh, I'm so sorry this happened!!" 

"(Y/N) it's fine and stop apologizing! You didn't do anything wrong! Besides, it was him, Izaya. . ." 

"Oh? Come on Shizu-chan I haven't even done anything. . ." 

"I'm sorry!! I apologize that Shizuo charged at you and hurt you! He tends to do that a lot, but I apologize on your behalf! Shizuo, I apologize that Izaya cut you! I'm sorry I couldn't stop him from cutting you and possibly distracted you. So please, violence is not the answer! Izaya and Shizuo I apologize and I hope you may make up and be best friends!!" 

"Eh?" 

"(Y/N) YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! STOP APOLOGIZING FOR OUR MISTAKES!" 

"I'm sorry! Ah, wait u-u-um well I know you both didn't mean it!!" 

"Here we go again. . . (Y/N) STOP APOLOGIZING, ON TOP OF THAT TO THAT GUY!" 

Shizuo was pointing at Izaya with a hint of disgust written across his face as Izaya looked dumbfounded for a split moment before asking, "Wait? You serious?" 

"Huh?" 

"Did you just apologize for something you didn't do?" 

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bother you!" 

"I-, well it seems this took an interesting turn of events. Well, goodbye Shizu-chan, (Y/N) right?" 

"Y-yeah. . ." 

Shizuo stood in front holding his arm protectively (Y/N)  as Izaya twirled the pocket knife in his arms in a strange direction before smiling and whispering a small, “Interesting. . .” 

As Izaya turned to leave, Shizuo muttered a small “ That bastard makes me so damn mad” before turning to (Y/N) realizing she had something to say before you were both rudely interrupted by Shinra. 

“ Hey (Y/N) what did you want? You had something to say before that damn bastard arrived.” 

“ O-Oh I-I did. . . um, Shizuo I wanted to ask if you wanted to miss the last train again and... .walk me home, and get Russian sushi with me. . .” 

“ Is that your way of asking me out on a date?” 

Teasing (Y/N) slightly she turned red upon hearing that before nodding her head softly. With a sigh, Shizuo smiled and dragged the smaller female by her arm before muttering a “ finally you asked” causing the female to turn even redder at the comment. (Y/N) ran a little ahead and turned back to smile at Shizuo before whispering “ I love you Shizuo. . .” 

~~ 

Walking to the shared home that Shizuo and (Y/N) have, (Y/N) grabbed a small jug of milk before handing it to Shizuo scolding him for getting violent, but congratulating him on holding back and not letting Izaya get to him. 

“ I don’t know what I would do without you (Y/N), I mean it . . .” 

“ I’m just lucky this happened when we were walking together and not when you were working. Izaya can be a bit extreme but I’m sure he means well!!” 

“Heh, you always look on the bright side, don’t you?” 

“ Exactly!! Looking on the bright side is exactly what brought us together!! I mean after you dropped me off at my house we got to be great friends, that's also when you confided in me your secrets and feelings. Then you began to realize that I didn’t fear you and truly cared for you. Then we went on a date, and became a couple! Dating for a good 5, 6 years?” 

“ Yep, luckily we still love each other.” 

“ I won’t ever stop loving you Shizuo, because you accepted me for who I am. Now it’s time to let me accept you for who you are. . . I mean I already did but you can’t get it through that thick skull of yours can you?” 

“ What do you mean, I understand.” 

“ Yet, every time you encounter Izaya and I’m not around you come home quite sad and always ask me if I would ever leave you. Shizuo, I would never leave you.” 

“ Well yeah but. . .”

“ But?” 

“ You’re right. I should head to work. See you later (Y/N). Take care and don’t do anything strange.” 

“ I wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t do.” 

“ That worries me.” 

“ I’m just going to talk to Celty or just hang around the park! See you later Shizuo!” 

“ Hmph. Later and don’t forget that I love you.” 

“ I should be saying that but of course! Love you too and later!” 

Shizuo smiled at the girl before heading off to visit Tom his friend and employer. They had another client that refused to pay up and Shizuo was going to “pay” him a visit to ensure he did. (Y/N) locked the door before going on her phone and texting Celty. 

‘ You busy Cel?’ 

‘ No, not really. Why do you ask?’ 

`` I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out and chat.’ 

‘ Sure. I’ll pick you up and we can head off to the park. That fine?’ 

``you read my mind Cel. Alright, I’ll get ready.’  

(Y/N) changed into a new set of clothing before waiting on the couch for Celty to pick her up and head to the park. Celty and (Y/N) got along well as well, (Y/N) always saw the bright side. When she and celty were close enough, originally being introduced by Shinra, Celty confided in her about not having a head and (Y/N) offered some light on the subject. 

“ Well, head or no head  I think you’re perfect just the way you are. For example, you can still do pretty much everything right? Aside from taste but still Celty! I think that is what makes you unique I mean, if you think about it, only those people who truly love and care for you will accept you no matter what. Take a look at Shizuo, he believed everyone feared him, but I didn’t. I love him! Just like I love you Celty! I accept you for who you are and you will always be celty with or without your head! So cheer up, I don’t like seeing my friends sad!” 

With that, a new friendship was born leading (Y/N) to be best friends with the fearsome headless rider. 

< - - - - - - - - - - - - > 

KANRA HAS JOINED THE CHAT

Kanra: Hey guys! I have a question about a specific person. 

Setton: A person? Who? 

TarouTanaka: Agreed. It’s quite rare to see you not having information on anyone. 

Kanra: Precisely, which is why I must know. Do any of you know a (Y/N) (l/n)? 

Setton: (Y/N)? Not personally but I’ve heard rumors. . . 

Setton: There’s not much I know about her, but I’ve heard rumors of her being in the Dollars.

Setton: Besides that, I’ve also heard she’s Shizuo Heiwajima’s girlfriend and possibly future wife.

TarouTanaka: Shizuo Heiwajima? As in THE Shizuo Heiwajima? Do you know the violent one? 

Kanra: That’s so scary!! Who would put up with him? 

Kanra: *Gasps* you don’t think. . .

TarouTanaka: Think what? 

Kanra: You don’t think she’s using him do you? I mean, having a strong boyfriend has its perks right? 

Setton: She’s not that type of person.

Setton: From what I’ve heard, at least.

Kanra: Oh? You seem to get a bit defensive. Are you sure you don’t know her? 

Kanra: I mean, think about it. What is so special about Shizuo that would lead someone like her to love him? 

Kanra: Honestly, I think she could be using him after all I’m sure there are more people that someone like her could pick from. 

Setton: Well everything is just based on rumors, but I doubt she’s a bad type of person.

Setton: Love has always been a confusing matter. All that matters is that they like each other for who they are.

Setton: It’s not our place to make assumptions.

Kanra: Love is indeed confusing. 

TarouTanaka: I agree with Setton, I am sure they love each other for who they are. Is everything alright Kanra? 

Kanra: Yes, but it still stumps me on how little information we have of his girlfriend. Not only that but we have little information on the relationship as well. Has anyone seen her? Know what she looks like? 

Setton: I’ve only heard a vague description of her: (e/c) and (h/c). I could pass her on the street and not even know.

Setton: But I’m sure she’s just a private person. We should respect that and try not to dig into her life.

Kanra: Oh fair maiden will I ever see you?

TarouTanaka: You sure you aren’t trying to steal his girlfriend? 

Kanra: ^ 0 ^ Never! 

Setton: This has been an interesting discussion and all, but I’m needed elsewhere.

Setton: Later.

< - - - - - - - - - - - - - > 

SETTON HAS LEFT THE CHAT

Kanra: Well I better head out too, later Tarou! 

TarouTanaka: Later! 

< - - - - - - - - - - - - - >

KANRA HAS LEFT THE CHAT.

TAROUTANAKA HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

THERE IS NO ONE IN THE CHAT. 

A figure began to ponder and look outside with a pair of binoculars as a female with (e/c) and (h/c) walked by. 

‘ Oh? I think I should properly introduce myself to the fair maiden’ 

~~ 

The young girl walked out of her house ready to speak with the dullahan. Upon seeing the headless rider the young girl waved her hand signaling the rider. 

“ Celty! Over here!” 

The rider began to make its way to the female before hugging and typing away on its phone. 

“Oh good, I was worried I arrived too early.”

“ Nah! Even if you did, you would have more time to look around and notice life at it’s finest!” 

“Oh Y/N, still as cheerful as ever, huh?”

“ Oh, you know it! Now let's head to the park! I want to see Ikebukuro at its prime time at night!” 

“Of course, but as we’re walking let me ask: How’s it going between you and Shizuo?”

“ Well. . . I-I-I I think it’s going great! He isn’t getting as rowdy and violent so I think he is changing a little bit! He ended getting me a gift, a necklace to be exact for our 5th anniversary! It says his name! He also has one, one with my name!”  

“I’m glad to hear you guys are going great. I’m sure that nothing could ever break your relationship, right?” 

“ Exactly! He and I have never had a serious argument! Maybe a little scolding but it’s fine like this! I always end up congratulating him in the end! He is the sweetest! Every time he comes home he asks me if I love him which makes me sad because I hope he knows I do! However. . . he always ends up spoiling me in love! The real question. . . is how is it with Shinra?” 

“Oh. . . Well, you know how he is. We’re as close as we can ever be, especially now that I’m more accustomed to the whole headless thing. That doesn’t mean I’m not looking, though.”

“ You will find it Celty! I know for a fact you will find it! I’ll help you when I have time! Hey look it’s the park let’s find a bench!” 

[park bench scene]

“You know, Y/N, I heard that you and Shizuo were considering getting married. Is it true?”

“ Well, I-!?” 

“ Well, Celty! I didn’t know you were here? (Y/N) too! What a surprise too! Do you mind if I sit with you guys?” 

“ Well, not really! Feel free to sit Izaya!” 

“ Interesting, now continue what were we talking about?” 

“ Well, Celty asked about my marriage to Shizuo!” 

“ So it’s true. . .” 

“ Yeah! Celty we are! Sometime next week we were going to look for dresses!” 

“That’s wonderful Y/N! If you need anything, I’m always available to help.”

“ Of course!” 

“ Same here.  . . a wedding between Shizu-chan and (Y/N) seems interesting. . .” 

“ So (Y/N), why are you with Shizu-chan? What’s the catch?” 

“ Pardon Izaya?” 

“ I mean, why would someone like YOU be with someone like HIM? What are the perks of having Shizu-chan as your boyfriend?” 

“ Perks?!” 

“I know that you and Shizuo have an on-going rivalry, but should you be asking Y/N questions like that?” 

“ I was just curious Celty! Besides, do you have the answer?” 

“ Well, there are no perks.” 

“ Huh?” 

“ I love Shizuo, not for his strength or perks. I love him because he was kind to me. He accepts my optimistic side, even though it can be quite annoying and I accept his violent tendencies! He is doing so much to change and I will support him from now on! When we met, he kinda beat the entire team on the field and I apologized for the both of him! He got confused and I apologized for my behavior and we kinda got into a mini battle of him asking me to stop apologizing and well my apologizing even more! Nonetheless, I missed the train, but it gave me a chance to talk to him and as you can tell he walked me home! Since then, a steady relationship! So it’s not about the benefits, it’s what we feel for each other that motivates us!” 

“ Interesting. . . “  

“ I agree Y/N, it’s about love, not benefits. Might want to save a speech that profounds for your wedding though.

“ You’re right! Oh, I’m sorry Izaya for ruining the surprise!” 

‘ Interesting. . . she isn’t like every other human, she doesn’t seem to lie, hide things, and seems to be honest. She seems to be optimistic. Hmph, interesting that she isn’t like all the other humans I love, she’s different and I can’t wait to see her face, her entire being change as I pull the strings from behind! (Y/N), you are quite interesting, you are like my special, no my favorite human and I need to see your reactions to everything... .’ 

“ (Y/N)?” 

“ Ah, Shizuo! O-over here!” 

“ Celty’s here too and-?!” 

Shizuo stared at the black-haired male with such anger raging within them as he let out a growl before examining the area. 

“ IZAYA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” 

“ It’s a park? Am I not allowed to visit one?” 

“ IT’S WHO YOU’RE WITH THAT MATTERS! (Y/N) DID HE TOUCH YOU OR HURT YOU IN ANY WAY?” 

“ N-no! Shizuo we were only just talking! Besides, Celty was here with us! It was all friendly talk!” 

“ Celty, take (Y/N) and go to Shinra’s place. I’ll meet you there once I finish killing this bastard!” 

Typing away Celty nodded showing her phone with the message being, ‘Of course. Be careful before doing anything crazy, but please hear Y/N out first. Learn a bit about the situation before jumping into anything dangerous.”

“ Oh my Shizu-chan!~ So you are dating her. Isn’t that interesting. . . I say though it’s shocking, to say the least, that someone like (Y/N) would fall in love with you. Someone as fragile, beautiful, delicate, and forgiving like (Y/N) with a violent man as yourself, well I’d be damned!” 

“ I’m sorry! Izaya, I apologize for Shizuo’s behavior as he ended up attacking you without hearing my part, which I still have yet to say! However, I apologize on your part as well Izaya as you didn’t mean anything by chatting with us, but you asked some not so nice things. On the bright side, you know the truth and know that Shizuo isn’t a bad person!” 

“ (Y/N) . . .?” 

“ Shizuo! Celty and I were chatting when Izaya approached us, we were just talking! He didn’t hurt me, besides Celty would have put him in his place before I would have! Please believe me, Celty tell him the truth as well!” 

“Of course, there was nothing suspicious going on. Just a regular conversation full of small talk. Nothing shady or malicious between us and Izaya.”

“ Tch. Fine, but still take her to Shinra. I don’t want this bastard to find out where we live. I still want to kill him. . .” 

“ S-Shizuo! It’s fine, we don’t need to go see Shinra!” 

“ Aww, Shizu-chan you’re scaring her!~ Besides, what if (Y/N) doesn’t want to leave? You’re her boyfriend but you aren’t her owner. Besides, why do you get to keep her all to yourself, as you know I love humans, I can’t get enough of them! But she, she is quite interesting, as all humans I love her as well but aren’t you pushing it Shizuo chan?” 

“ Keep that damn mouth of yours shut!” 

“ I wonder, how long will it take you to screw up your relationship with her like you always do. Have you even proposed to her yet? Being the violent person you are you probably used someone's body as a foot stand before asking her to be your wife!” 

“ NO! That’s wrong! He proposed at Russia Sushi! We went out to eat as it was also our first date! See, even Simon took the picture and hung it in the dining area! You can see Shizuo’s fist but that was because he was embarrassed Simon took a picture and well he snapped, see how red he is? I’m the one crying in the background while holding the ring! It’s even my lock and home screen!” 

“ YOU DON’T NEED TO GO THAT FAR! WAIT-HE HAS IT HANGED? I NEED TO KILL THIS MAN FIRST THAN YOU DAMN IZAYA!” 

“ NO NOT SIMON! WAIT SHIZUO!” 

Running after Shizuo, (Y/N)  turned around one last time before bowing apologetically and smiling at Izaya before running after her fiance. Celty typing away on her phone showing it to Izaya. 

“Be careful about what you say around Y/N. I know what you’re trying to do and I advise you against it. It won’t end well for either of you.”

“ Whatever do you mean Celty?” 

“I’ve seen the way you look at Y/N; the way you observe her with that calculated glee in your eye. Even if you do separate her from Shizuo, she wouldn’t be happy with someone considered a homewrecker. She’s too optimistic for her good, she’ll easily forgive you, but she would never be able to forgive herself for hurting Shizuo. If you truly value her like you say you do, don’t try to meddle in her personal affairs.” 

“ I want to see every possible reaction from her, so this is quite tempting. Besides, Celty why do you care much about her? I love humans and I’m not willing to share, (Y/N) is no exception.” 

“Y/N is the best person I know. She’s kind no matter what and brings hope and joy to all of those that she comes across. She deserves to live the best life she can, one filled with no despair or tragedy. You need to learn to respect that and move on.”

Celty, displaying her anger towards Izaya, revved her motorcycle upwards causing several people to look in worry and walk away to avoid getting hit. Izaya stood unamused with his smug grin as he watched Celty chase after the couple to take them to Shinra. 

“ Celty, it’s a shame. All humans will experience despair no matter what, even our darling (Y/N). It’s just how long will it take for her to fall into despair that’s the real game and who the one pulling the strings will be.” 

Izaya began to walk away only to stop at Russia sushi and was quite intrigued by the photo that was taken. As he began to examine the image he saw (Y/N) smiling with tears rolling down her eyes as she turned to the camera holding the ring Shizuo had given her. On top of that, he saw Shizuo, quite red ready to punch Simon for taking the picture. 

“ Well well, seems she was telling the truth. I guess he didn’t screw it up.” 

“ Izaya, I heard about what happened.” 

As Izaya turned he was met with Simon the dark-skinned Russian who began to speak in his native tongue signaling that this was a private conversation. 

“ Simon, how’s it been?” 

“ Don’t ruin it.” 

“ Ruin what Simon?” 

“ Shizuo and (Y/N) found happiness here so don’t ruin it.” 

“ Oh? What makes you say that?” 

“ (Y/N) is special, the unpredictable happens around her but that doesn’t mean you should ruin what they have for the sake of your entertainment.” 

“ Special huh?” 

“ You like her don’t you? Leave her with Shizuo, she is not meant for you.” 

“ You see Simon, you’re right she is special but she isn’t Shizuo’s. I believe her to be one of the few people who aren’t on this playing field. She, like all humans, belongs to me. I won’t let Shizu-chan, Celty, or even that damn Saika blade have her.” 

“ Izaya, I know you don’t like losing to Shizuo but that does not mean you have to ruin this relationship. For once, let it go.” 

“ It’s Shizuo who needs to let her go.” 

With that Izaya left the place before walking away thinking about the girl. Since he met her years ago he realized how forgiving and optimistic she truly was. It shocked him, every human he met would be the same and oh so predictable. Shizu-chan and Simon would be the unpredictable ones spicing up his entertainment but (Y/N)? She was the most unpredictable one of them all. She took both sides of an argument and attempted to find a solution and she would keep Shizuo in check something that no one could do. On top of that, (Y/N) forgave anyone and you could never guess what she would say next, but her actions were always surprising. As he entered his workplace he was met with Namie Yagiri who looked at him in disbelief. 

“ It’s late where have you been?” 

“ Ah, Namie I was out with Celty and (Y/N) (L/N).” 

“ (Y/N) (L/N)?” 

“ Shizuo Heiwajima’s girlfriend, well fiance but not for long.” 

“ What do you mean, not for long?” 

“ Well you see, I intend to steal her away.” 

“ You never seem to bother with people’s love lives anyways. Why now?” 

“ (Y/N) (L/N) is a fascinating human! Here on this board, Shizu-Chan is the king and (Y/N (L/N) would be his queen, but the queen is one of the few people with free-range movement, in other words, the most powerful piece, nonetheless all are useful but the queen is the one who defends her king. If the queen is removed you’re pretty much set to fail and the king is left weak and ready to be dethroned. So, Shizu-chan is only strong with his queen, but this fascinating human being should be next to me, her God!” 

“ So you want to use her-!?” 

“ No! You’re not getting the picture! I am going to take the queen and leave her next to her god’s side! ME! With Shizu-chan weak I’ll simply kill him and fully take (Y/N) (L/N) as mine!” 

“ I thought Shizuo provided you with the most entertainment. . .” 

“ (Y/N) makes up for both of them, I don’t need Shizuo when I have his queen. . .” 

~~ 

“ Shizuo! Wait!” 

Shizuo was walking faster while dragging (Y/N) behind him as they proceeded to go to their house after staying at Shinra’s. 

“ What for?” 

“ I’m sorry for embarrassing you in front of Izaya. . .” 

“ I’m fine, as long as it was you I didn’t mind.” 

“ You sure?” 

“ Of course, now let’s go home. I’m tired.” 

‘“O-Okay!” 

As they entered the home in which they both own Shizuo immediately grabbed (Y/N) as he held her close before asking her yet again, “ Do you love me?” 

“ Of course silly! I wouldn’t marry someone I don’t love! I love you to the moon and back Shizuo and I wouldn’t change that for the world! No one and nothing would ever split us apart Shizuo! You accepted me for who I am, now it’s time you realize that I accept you for you!” 

Cuddling closer with the (h/c) hair colored female he blurted out something that made her turn red upon hearing it. 

“ I want a baby.” 

“ A WHAT?!” 

“ A baby. I hope to be able to be a father once we wed.” 

“ W-w-w-w-what g-g-g-gave you that idea?!” 

“ We are both at a young age, once we marry I feel like we should have a child. I won’t rush or force you but I think we would be great parents.” 

“I...OKAY! Of course! After we marry, we can have as many children as we can!” 

“ W-Wait you serious?!” 

“ Of course Shizuo, because I love you to bits! Just like I will love this child, I'll make sure you both know how special you are to me!” 

“ I do wonder how I found someone like you (Y/N). . . I love you!” 

“ I love you too Shizuo!” 

As they both fell asleep in a lovers embrace Shizuo was reminded of how much (Y/N) loves him and was also reminded that she will never leave him. Izaya was wrong, (Y/N) loves him for himself and as Shizuo sighed in relief as he cuddled closer to the female, not being feared, but being loved was a great feeling, the best in the world. 

~~ 

“ Now. . . what should I make for dinner? I should make Shizuo’s favorite meal, but that means that I need to go shopping. Oh well.” 

(Y/N) pulled out her phone before sending Shizuo a quick text saying how she would be stepping out and would be home soon. After getting an, ‘alright. Be safe.’ text she immediately set out to the store. As (Y/N) was searching through the ingredients she came across a hand reaching for the same one, the last one. 

“ Oh, I’m sorry! You can take it!” 

“ No, no that fine! By all means, take it.” 

“ Izaya... .?’ 

“ Ah! (Y/N)! Isn’t that wonderful? I wanted to speak to you!” 

“ Same! Just let me finish shopping and I’ll go with you!” 

“ Here! I’ll help, by the way! Feel free to take it, I don’t need that ingredient as much as you do.” 

“ Thanks! Are you sure you don’t want it though, I’m making a meal for Shizuo but I can always go to other stores! If you want it you should take it! On the bright side, I can get my daily walk in by going to other stores and I might be able to browse through other items I may need!” 

“ Oh? A meal for Shizu-chan? Then, by all means, take it. I wouldn’t want to make him upset.” 

“ Thank you Izaya! You really care for him!” 

“ Well, I wouldn’t say that. .  . “

“ Well, we should get going! I think I got everything I needed!” 

Walking to the park in silence was a little awkward until (Y/N) lit up at the sight of ice cream. 

“ Hey Izaya, look it’s an ice cream truck! Do you want some? My treat!” 

“ Actually, it will be mine! Which one do you want (Y/N)?” 

“ (F/F) please!” 

“ Of course!” 

Upon getting the ice cream ( Y/N) desired and Izaya getting one for himself they decided to sit on a bench and she continued speaking with Izaya. 

“ Izaya, I have a question.” 

“What is it (Y/N)?” 

“ Well, why do you like edging Shizuo on? You know he is trying his hardest to change, wait, is it to push him? To see how much he needs to improve left?” 

“ You really are optimistic aren’t you? Not exactly, you see Shizuo tends to act differently from the rest. . . he truly is unpredictable so I just want to see every possible reaction from him. Just like you?” 

“ Me? I hardly think I'm unpredictable, I feel like you could read me easily.” 

“ You can’t and that’s the best part. I truly love all humans (Y/N), they are just so interesting! In the end, they all act the same yet it’s so exciting!” 

“ Interesting. You like the unpredictable more though right! I do too! It’s like a book, if you can predict the way it ends then it isn’t all the fun. However, if the book ends with a plot twist and catches you by surprise then it is fun! Every new day, every new day is something different for me! I feel like, when you look at a new angle you end up seeing things you’ve never seen. This could easily impact what you think or what you do! That’s what I try to do to make my day more interesting!” 

Izaya looking at her with insanity swirling his eyes grabbed her hands causing her ice cream to fall before laughing. 

“ You understand me! You see what I see! You truly do deserve to be next to your god's side! Tell me (Y/N), you’re very forgiving, aren’t you! Every god needs to judge and punish the sinners, BUT THEY ALSO NEED TO FORGIVE! THAT MY GODDESS IS WHERE YOU COME IN! WITH YOU BY MY SIDE, WE COULD TRULY RULE OVER THESE HUMANS! JUST AS I LOVE HUMANS, THEY SHOULD LOVE ME TOO! THAT INCLUDES YOU (Y/N), DO YOU LOVE ME?” 

“ I-?!” 

“ That’s enough!” 

Turning to Celty who began to write furiously fast on her phone shoved it in front of Izaya as he skimmed the words that were written. 

‘Shizuo is on his way, leave if you don’t want your ass kicked. I told you to leave (Y/N) alone! For once, listen to me!’ 

Celty grabbed (Y/N) and led her to the motorcycle before writing on it explaining that Shizuo was around the area and was planning on picking (Y/N) up from the store. Celty mentioned that she too was around the area and that she was asked by Shizuo to help him look for her as well. Nodding, (Y/N) turned around to meet Izaya smirking, despite all she smiled at him and bowed before apologizing. 

“ I’m sorry Izaya! I hope to talk to you soon and I apologize our time was cut short. I’m happy that you told me a little about yourself Izaya as I told you I like to see both perspectives before saying or doing anything. On the bright side, although our time was cut short I realized that you trust me a little and bothered to open up a bit! So I'm glad!” 

Indeed Izaya found his Goddess, she forgave all and will forgive all. Smiling a bit he turned and wished her good-bye before plotting a plan to take her from Shizuo forever and make sure his goddess was with him all the time. Besides, even if he committed a crime, his goddess, (Y/N) (L/N) would forgive him. 

(Y/N) was riding with Celty until they found Shizuo in which he expressed his concern for the female. He examined the ingredients and smiled realizing what she was planning on doing before ruffling her hair. 

 “ I still have a little bit of work left but I'll make it home in time for dinner.” 

“ Of course! I’ll get started on dinner right away!” 

“ Alright. See you then, oh (Y/N).” 

“ Yeah?” 

“ I love you.” 

“ I love you too!” 

~~ 

Getting out of the shower, (Y/N) proceeded to dry her hair with a small towel wearing (F/C) shorts and an extremely overgrown shirt, more importantly, it was Shizuo’s bartender shirt that he allowed her to wear. It fit more like a dress but no one was complaining. 

“ I better get started on dinner, Shizuo is going to arrive any minute!” 

Proceeding to get the ingredients (Y/N) was washing the vegetables when she heard a click signaling the door was open. 

“ Shizuo I’m not done with the meal-... Shizuo... .?” 

Examining the living room she noticed that the door was opened but no one was in the room with her, that was until she heard a familiar voice from her right ear. 

“ Good evening, My goddess. . .” 

“Iza-!?” 

With that Izaya knocked out (Y/N) cradling her in his arms before making his way to him home with the young girl, his Goddess.  

~ 

“ Wake up sleeping beauty~” 

Izaya was poking her cheek repeatedly hoping for the young girl to awaken sometime soon and luckily she did. 

“ Izaya, w-where a-am I?” 

“ Why you’re in our home my goddess~” 

“O-our? Goddess? Izaya what’s going on?” 

“ You will be living with me from now on~ You see I explained it to you, I love humans my dear (Y/N), you are no exception. However, unlike all the other humans you have an interesting personality and you are quite unpredictable making each new day exciting and something to look forward to! Someone like you should be by my side ruling alongside next to me! Just as I adore humans, they should adore us, as they should!” 

“ I-Izaya I’m sorry but it’s late and I need to get to Shizuo before it gets too late-!?” 

“ You aren’t getting it! You aren’t going back to Shizuo! You belong to me! Besides, Shizuo is weak right now! I could easily get rid of him!” 

“ He isn’t! Shizuo is quite strong! I know for a fact that he can overcome anything! Now, please let me go before I-!?” 

“ You aren’t seeing the big picture (Y/N) and it saddens me. You see the queen is the strongest piece in chess. Shizu-chan is the king and you by right, are his queen. If we take the queen away, the king is set up to fail. Haven’t you realized, everyday Shizu-chan asks you if you love him and to never leave him? Coincidence I know? I always make him doubt of this reality because without you Shizu-chan would be a violent monster! Think about it, you’re the only thing that can hold him back but you aren’t by his side! Shizu-chan does not want to be feared but he thinks it’s a fantasy, someone like you being in his life that he just needs to confirm if you love him too!” 

(Y/N) gasped when she came to notice her fiance's true feelings. Feeling down, (Y/N) looked to the side to examine the board Izaya kept close to see if she could find a pattern or attempt to figure Izaya out to create a plan.   

“ In fact! I think he is worried sick trying to find you, but he won’t! Even if he does, he doesn’t have the right to take my Goddess away!” 

In the meantime, Shizuo was frantically searching for where (Y/N) could be. When he arrived home he came to see the door open and no sign of (Y/N) causing his anxiety to spike up at the thought of losing you forever. Having enough he texted Celty and even the dollars home page alerting all members to keep an eye out on a female with (H/C) and (E/C) as she could be in danger. 

“ Celty! Have you found her yet?” 

“ No.... but I think I know where she is. I hope she isn’t though. . . “ 

“ Spit it out! WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!” 

Shizuo was running out of breath as he looked at Celty with desperation as he saw her type away with incredible speed, but the answer both shook him and angered him to the point of no return. 

“ I think she is with Izaya. If so, we must hurry!” 

“ Of course! Leave this to me. . . I think it’s time that bastard met with his fate.” 

Shizuo walked away with anger as he began to prepare his fist to execute the man who stole his fiance.

IZAYA ENDING w/SMUT

SHIZUO ENDING

[anchorandrope]

larry songs on walls

!!! | i’m not going to include the complete lyrics of all the songs so for a better understanding, look for them. all the songs were written by louis and other composers.

masterpost

HABIT

harry is the habit that louis can’t break

“i always said that i’d mess up eventually i told you that, so what did you expect from me? it shouldn’t come as no surprise anymore i know you said that you'd give me another chance but you and i knew the truth of it in advance that mentally you were already out the door”

the first part talks about how louis always thought he was going to ruin everything and that he didn’t know what harry expected of him, harry tells him that it doesn’t matter if he makes a mistake or they fight, he will give him more opportunities, they both knew that in the end, they were going to apologize but first they were probably going to have a fight where one of them leaves to not continue fighting (by leaving i mean literally going out the door and going somewhere else to calm the mind to not say things that they will regret later, i don’t mean to break up).

“i took some time ‘cause i’ve ran out of energy of playing someone i heard i’m supposed to be but honestly, i don’t have to choose anymore”

here he literally says that he got tired of pretending to be someone he is not, which refers to the role of straight image they put on him.

“and it's been ages, different stages come so far from princess park i’ll always need ya in front of me, in front of me”

this is the clearest reference to harry in the entire album as it mentions princess park, the first place harry and louis lived together. it basically says that he always need him, at every moment, at every stage.

bonus: stages is a wordplay because louis and harry literally went from stage to stage together singing and through stages of life.

“you gave me the time and the space, i was out of control and i’m sorry, i let you down guess that i know what i already knew, i was better with you, and i miss you now”

this part talks about a fight. they fought and as the beginning said, the one who “walked through the door” was harry, he left time and space for both of them to think. louis regrets it and feels that he disappointed him because even though he knows harry is going to forgive him, he feels responsible for everything. “i guess i know what i already knew” he talks about how every time a fight ends he realizes again that harry is the one, it’s something that he always knew and will know, but every time they fight is a thought that reinforces. the last part talks about the fear of losing him after fighting and how he only wants to see him to fix things, how the minutes for him are hours and that all he thinks about is him.

ALWAYS YOU

it was always harry

STUNT LYRIC IN ALWAYS YOU

“i went to amsterdam without you and all i could do was think about you” (...) “drink after drink but i still felt alone, i should’ve known”

the first part is iconic because louis went to amsterdam with eleanor in mid-2017 (x) and shortly afterwards he wrote the song. the second part talks about how lonely he feels when he isn’t with harry and how he drowns his absence in alcohol.

“walked through my door but it felt nothing like home ‘cause you're not home waiting to wrap your legs around me”

here is a word that describes louis and harry's relationship: home. the lyrics talk about how louis gets home when harry isn’t there (because he's traveling, he's giving a show, etc) and he doesn't feel like home because his home is harry, not a house.

TOO YOUNG

they were too young to realize everything

STUNT LYRIC IN TOO YOUNG

“we were too young to know we had everything” (...) “i wish i could’ve seen it all along i’m sorry that I hurt you, darling”

the first lyric talks about two things: how at the beginning of their relationship (until the end of 2011) they, even though they couldn't make it official, had few limitations for certain things such as tweets, flirting, hints, etc. and about what they lived together in one direction in general, they sang and traveled around the world together and at that moment they hadn’t realized how beautiful it was to be able to spend so much time together. in the second part louis blames himself for not having been able to see everything that was going to happen to them from the beginning (which is crazy because they were kids when everything started, so he should never blame himself for anything because the closeting is not his fault) and apologizes to harry for letting other people hurt him so much.

“i’ve been looking back a lot lately me and you is all i’ve ever known it’s hard to think you could ever hate me but everything’s feeling different now”

at one point louis came to think that harry hated him for all the damage that he “allowed” to be done to him (clearly not literal hate but he refers to anger/sadness) but now he looks back at those moments where he thought that and he knows it wasn’t that way, and now that he is older, he realizes that it was never his fault and he no longer feels that harry "hates" him for everything they happened. (it should be clarified that louis thought that harry was mad with him for that, that doesn’t mean that harry really felt that way, maybe it was only a perception of louis).

“oh, i can’t believe i gave into the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off ‘cause i didn’t know no better now i realise yeah, i realise”

he talks about how at one point he believed what they told him about being with harry, when the closeting just started, surely before putting beards on them and everything, they talked to them to convince them to not be together because they weren't going to make it, louis really believed that it was something wrong with loving harry and that they weren’t going to make it, that's why he told him that maybe wasn’t a good idea to have a relationship, harry clearly made him see reason and that’s why at the end he says “now i realize”, which means that louis can't believe he thought it was wrong to be with harry and he can't believe he actually talked to him about it.

“face to face at the kitchen table this is everything i waited for now we can finally have the conversation that i wish we could’ve had before”

the first part talks about them being at home (“kitchen table” they also use it to refer to “home”) and they sat down to talk about all the shit they were going through, with “that conversation” he doesn’t refer to a discussion where they wondered if they loved each other or not, in that conversation they shared pain and frustration and both gave each other support.

WE MADE IT

they made it, together

STUNT LYRIC IN WE MADE IT

“‘cause we made it, underestimated and always underrated” (...) “knew that we would be alright, from the first time” (...) “never coming down with your hand in mine”

here there is a connection with too young: in too young he talks about how they were told they were never going to make it and here he talks about how they did it despite everything they were told, while they are together, nothing can bring them down.

“we were only kids, just tryna work it out wonder what they'd think if they could see us now”

another connection with too young: they were just kids trying to deal with closeting, they made it and now they wonder what those who told them they were never going to make it think.

bonus: “if they could see us now” eleanor and louis are a public couple, everyone can see and know about them...

“don’t know why they put this all on us when we’re so young done a pretty good job, dealing with it all when you’re here don’t need to say no more nothing in the world that i would change it for”

another reference to too young: he doesn’t understand why they put so much pressure and responsibility on them when they were so young. then he talks about how when he is with harry he handles the situation very well and that even though he has a horrible time in the industry, he would choose a thousand times to go through it just to be with him.

PERFECT NOW

harry love, you will always be perfect for me

to begin with, i want to say that its the only song with pronouns on walls, this data is not minor since it means that he intentionally wanted to highlight the feminine gender (he could have made it neutral as well but no, he decided to use feminine pronouns). harry gave us plenty of proof that he also uses feminine pronouns and louis was not far behind.

in my opinion the lyrics are quite obvious, they talk about harry’s insecurities and how louis tells her to not stop being who she is and that everything about her is perfect.

he talks about the clothes, about how maybe harry, no matter how open she seems, is still afraid to dress as she would like when she is with friends/family; he talks about the fear she has of doing things she loves, like dancing; he talks about she not wanting to attract attention, wanting to hide, etc.

its a beautiful love song, we can see how in love louis is and that he doesnt care about the pronouns or the clothes, he will always love her and he will be there to help her in her insecurities. (x) (x)

DEFENCELESS

im defenceless, i got so much to lose

“i come runnin’ to you like a moth into a flame you tell me, “take it easy”, but it’s easier to say “wish i didn’t need so much of you” i hate to say, but i do we’re sleepin’ on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams we wake up early morning and they’re still under the sheets i’m lost in my head, i’m spinnin’ again tryna find what to say to you”

this song literally talks about closeting. first he talks about how when louis gets angry about something they have to do (for the stunts) harry tells him to take it easy to which louis responds that its easier if he told him that he wishes he didn’t love him so much. he hates to say that it would be easier if they didn't love each other, but he knows that its true. then he speaks in the plural (this is important because he remarks that its a problem that both of them go through) saying that they both sleep waiting to get up and seeing that everything is solved. and finally, he talks about how louis is constantly thinking of solutions and consolations for both of them.

“been up all night, all night, runnin’ all my lines but it’s only the truth been up all night, not sure how to say this right got so much to lose”

“never been so defenceless (oh-oh) never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) you just keep on buildin’up your fences (oh-oh) but i’ve never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) [...]”

he spent the whole night going over everything he has to solve, everything he has to say to pretend; he doesn’t know how to say it because he knows that if he says it he has so much to lose. (this is literally a lyric about coming out of the closet, no explanation needed) he says he feels defenceless despite seeing harry building his way to the end, that no matter that he sees the light at the end of the tunnel, he feels vulnerable.

“no, you don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do and i can’t get inside when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove”

he tells harry to stop pretending that nothing affects him because he knows that he suffered as much as he does, he told him to open up so he can help him and not let his pride win.

“i hope that i’m not asking too much just wanna be loved by you (don’t you be so defensive) and i’m too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you”

does this need explanation? it’s louis telling harry that he doesn’t care about anything anymore and he just wants to be loved by him.

ONLY THE BRAVE

louis in love has to be brave

this song doesn’t talk about harry, it talks about louis’ sexuality but it seemed right to include it since i see the importance and relationship to his relationship with him.

“pour mercy, mercy on me set fire to history i’m breaking my own rules i’m crying like a fool tall stories on the page short glories on the fade i’ve been close enough to touch but i never cared for love”

“pour mercy, mercy on me” “i’m breaking my own rules” and “i’m crying like a fool” refer to the fact that louis suffered a lot when he discovered his sexuality and had a stage of self-denial, not everyone accepts themselves at first. “set fire history” and “tall stories on the page” talks of how historically homosexuality was not accepted. “shot glories on the fade i’ve been close enough to touch” talks about the times he felt close to coming out but never ending happening. “but i never cared for love” he never cared about loving the way he was taught: heterosexual.

“it’s a church of burnt romances and i’m too far gone to pray it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”

first he talks about the church (we already know the church's opinion on homosexuality) the phrase “burnt romances” talks about all gay couples who couldn’t be together because society prohibited them (it was also very normal in ancient times to burn homosexuals at the stake and you can refer to that too, it’s a sensitive theme but it makes sense). “i’m too far gone to pray” talks about being far from what the church expects and feels that god wouldn’t listen to you. “it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave” is a song for people who, even though they feel lonely, are brave.

to clarify: heterosexual people don’t have to be brave to love, heterosexuals are accepted throughout the world and they don’t have laws that harm them or millions of people who think they are sick. saying that heterosexuals also have to be brave to love is homophobic.

“if the truth tell darling, you feel like there ain’t enough dying stars in your sky it’s a tall tale and it’s only hello, hello, no goodbye (goodbye)”

the first part talks about how by saying your true orientation you lose many people, the “dying stars” are the people who leaves you and “your sky” is your life. the second part talks about the homophobic “arguments” that people say when you show yourself as you are and that no matter what they tell you, you are still who you are. (tall tale=very exaggerated story)

“pour mercy, mercy on me i’ll fall upon my knees and they’ll say, “i told you so” come on, when you know, you know”

at the moment that he can’t take it anymore and “fall to his knees” (come out of the closet) and lose many people, there will be someone who will say “i told you that you shouldn’t say it”, he knows it was the right thing to do, but he also knows that they are partly right, they told him and he still decided to be free.

“all the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”

you are who you are from the moment you are born until you die, is a song for people who, even though they feel lonely, are brave.

clearly this is just my interpretation, their interpretations are also equally valid (as long as they can be justified obviously) there is no correct interpretation so if they interpret it differently it’s also fine

—————————————————

canciones larry en walls

!!! | no voy a incluir las letras completas de todas las canciones asi que para una mejor compresión busquenlas ustedes. todas las canciones fueron escritas por louis y otros compositores.

masterpost

HABIT

harry es el hábito que louis no puede romper

original

“i always said that i’d mess up eventually i told you that, so what did you expect from me? it shouldn’t come as no surprise anymore i know you said that you'd give me another chance but you and i knew the truth of it in advance that mentally you were already out the door”

traducción

“siempre dije que eventualmente yo me equivocaría te lo dije, ¿qué esperabas de mí? ya no debería ser una sorpresa sé que dijiste que me darías otra oportunidad pero tú y yo sabíamos la verdad de antemano que mentalmente tú ya estabas fuera de la puerta”

la primera parte habla de que louis siempre pensó que iba a arruinar todo y que no sabía lo que harry esperaba de el, harry le dice que no importa si se equivoca o pelean, el va a darle mas oportunidades, ambos sabían que al fin y al cabo iban a disculparse pero antes probablemente iban a tener una pelea donde uno de los dos se va para no seguir peleando (con irse me refiero a literal salir por la puerta e ir a otro lado a calmar la mente para no decir cosas que no queres, no me refiero a terminar).

original

“i took some time ‘cause i’ve ran out of energy of playing someone i heard i’m supposed to be but honestly, i don’t have to choose anymore”

traducción

“me tomé un tiempo porque me quedé sin energía de interpretar a alguien que escuché que se supone que soy pero honestamente, ya no tengo que elegir”

aca literalmente dice que se cansó de fingir ser alguien que no es, lo cual hace referencia al papel de hetero que le pusieron.

original

“and it's been ages, different stages come so far from princess park i’ll always need ya in front of me, in front of me”

traducción

“y han pasado años, diferentes etapas ven tan lejos desde princess park siempre te necesitaré delante de mí, delante de mí”

esta es la referencia a harry mas clara en todo el álbum ya que menciona a princess park, el primer lugar donde harry y louis vivieron juntos. básicamente dice que siempre lo necesitó, en cada momento, en cada etapa.

bonus: “stages” puede ser etapas o escenarios, por el contexto es etapas pero es un juego de palabras porque louis y harry literalmente fueron de escenario en escenario juntos a traves de los años.

original

“you gave me the time and the space, i was out of control and i’m sorry, i let you down guess that i know what i already knew, i was better with you, and i miss you now”

traducción

“me diste el tiempo y el espacio, estaba fuera de control y lo siento, te decepcioné supongo que sé lo que ya sabía, estaba mejor contigo, y te extraño ahora”

esta parte habla de una pelea. se pelearon y como dijo el principio, el que “camino a traves de la puerta” fue harry, el le dejó tiempo y espacio para que ambos piensen. louis se arrepiente y siente que lo desepcionó porque por mas de que sabe que harry va a perdonarlo, se siente responsable de todo. “supongo que se lo que ya sabía” habla de que cada vez que termina una pelea se da cuenta otra vez de que harry es el indicado, es algo que siempre lo supo y lo va a saber, pero cada vez que pelean es un pensamiento que refuerza. la ultima parte habla del miedo de perderlo despues de pelear y de como solo quiere verlo para arreglar las cosas, de como los minutos para el son horas y de que en lo único que piensa es en el.

ALWAYS YOU

siempre fue harry

STUNT LYRIC EN ALWAYS YOU

original

“i went to amsterdam without you and all i could do was think about you” (...) “drink after drink but i still felt alone, i should’ve known”

traducción

“fui a amsterdam sin ti y todo lo que pude hacer fue pensar en ti” (...) “bebida tras bebida, pero todavía me sentía solo, debería haberlo sabido”

la primera parte es iconica porque louis fue a amsterdam con eleanor a mediados de 2017 (x) y poco tiempo después escribió la canción. la segunda parte habla de lo solo que se siente cuando no esta con harry y de como ahoga su ausencia en alcohol.

original

“walked through my door but it felt nothing like home ‘cause you're not home waiting to wrap your legs around me”

traducción

“atravesé mi puerta pero no me sentí como en casa porque no estás en casa esperando para envolver tus piernas a mi alrededor”

aca se menciona una palabra que describe la relación de louis y harry: home. los lyrics hablan de como louis llega a su casa cuando harry no esta (ya se porque esta de viaje, esta dando un show, etc) y no lo siente como su hogar porque su hogar es harry no una casa.

TOO YOUNG

eran muy chicos para darse cuenta de todo

STUNT LYRIC EN TOO YOUNG

original

“we were too young to know we had everything” (...) “i wish i could’ve seen it all along i’m sorry that I hurt you, darling”

traducción

“éramos muy jóvenes para saber que teníamos todo” (...) “desearía haberlo visto todo el tiempo lamento haberte herido, cariño”

el primer lyric habla de dos cosas: de como al principio de su relación (hasta fines del 2011) ellos por mas de que no podían hacerlo oficial, tenían pocas limitaciones para ciertas cosas como por ejemplo tweets, coqueteo, indirectas, etc. y sobre lo que vivieron juntos en one direction en general, ellos cantaron y viajaron por el mundo juntos y en ese momento no se habían dado cuenta de lo hermoso que era poder estar tanto tiempo juntos. en la segunda parte louis se culpa por no haber podido ver todo lo que les iba a pasar desde el principio (cosa que es una locura porque eran nenes cuando emepezó todo, asi que no debería culparse de nada nunca porque el closeting no es su culpa) y le pide perdon a harry por haber dejado que otras personas lo lastimen tanto.

original

“i’ve been looking back a lot lately me and you is all i’ve ever known it’s hard to think you could ever hate me but everything’s feeling different now”

traducción

“he estado mirando mucho atrás últimamente tú y yo es todo lo que he conocido, es difícil pensar que alguna vez puedas odiarme pero todo se siente diferente ahora”

en un punto louis llegó a pensar que harry lo odiaba por todo el daño que el “permitió” que le hicieran (claramente no odiar literal pero se refiere a enojo/trsiteza) pero ahora mira hacía esos momentos donde pensaba eso y sabe que no es asi y ahora que es mas grande, se da cuenta que nunca fue su culpa y ya no siente que harry lo “odia” por todo lo que pasaron. (cabe aclarar que louis pensaba que harry esta mal con el por eso, eso no quiere decir que harry verdaderamentese haya sentido asi, por ahi era solo una percepción de louis).

original

“oh, i can’t believe i gave into the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off ‘cause i didn’t know no better now i realise yeah, i realise”

traducción

“oh, no puedo creer que haya cedido a la presión cuando dijeron que un amor como este nunca duraría así que te interrumpí porque no sabía nada mejor, ahora me doy cuenta sí, me doy cuenta”

habla de que en un momento creyó lo que le dijeron sobre estar con harry, cuando recien empezó el closeting de hierro seguramente antes de ponerles barbas y todo, hablaron con ellos para convencerlos de que no esten juntos porque no iban a dudar, louis realmente creyó que había algo malo en amar a harry y que no iban a lograrlo por eso le dijo que por ahí no era una buena idea tener una relación, harry claramente lo hizo entrar en razon y por eso al final dice “ahora me doy cuenta”, que significa que louis no puede creer que el pensó que estaba mal estar con harry y no puede creer que realmente habló con el sobre eso.

original

“face to face at the kitchen table this is everything i waited for now we can finally have the conversation that i wish we could’ve had before”

traducción

“cara a cara en la mesa de la cocina esto es todo lo que esperaba ahora finalmente podemos tener la conversación que desearía haber tenido antes”

la primera parte habla de que estaban en casa (“kitchen table” tambíen lo usan para referirse a “home”) y se sentaron a hablar de toda la mierda por la que pasaban, con “esa conversación” no se refiere a una discusión donde se preguntaban si se amaban o no, en esa conversación se desahogaban, compartían el dolor y la frustración y ambos se dieron apoyo mutuo.

WE MADE IT

lo hicieron, juntos

STUNT LYRIC EN WE MADE IT

original

“‘cause we made it, underestimated and always underrated” (...) “knew that we would be alright, from the first time” (...) “never coming down with your hand in mine”

traducción

“porque lo logramos, menospreciados y siempre subestimados” (...) “sabía que ibamos a estar bien, desde la primera vez” (...) “nunca me derrumbaré con tu mano en la mía”

aca hay una conexión con too young: en too young habla de como les dijeron que nunca iban a lograrlo y aca habla de como lo lograron a pesar de todo lo que les dijeron, mientras esten juntos, nada puede derrumbarlos.

original

“we were only kids, just tryna work it out wonder what they'd think if they could see us now”

traducción

“nosotros sólo éramos niños, sólo intentando resolverlo me pregunto qué pensarían ellos si pudieran vernos ahora”

otra conexión con too young: solo eran niños intentando lidiar con el closeting, lo lograron y ahora se preguntan que piensan los que les dijeron que nunca iban a lograrlo.

bonus: “si pudieran vernos ahora” eleanor y louis son una pareja pública, todos los pueden ver y saber de ellos...

original

“don’t know why they put this all on us when we’re so young done a pretty good job, dealing with it all when you’re here don’t need to say no more nothing in the world that i would change it for”

traducción

“no sé por qué nos ponen todo esto cuando eramos tan jóvenes, he hecho un buen trabajo, manejándolo todo cuando tú estás aquí no necesito decir nada más no hay nada en el mundo por lo que cambiaría esto”

otra referencia a too young: no entiende porque les pusieron tanta presión y responsabilidad siendo tan chiquitos. despues habla de que cuando esta con harry maneja la situación muy bien y de que a pesar de que la pasó y la pasa horrible en la industria, eligiría una y mil veces pasar por ello con tal de estar con el.

PERFECT NOW

harry amor, siempre vas a ser perfecta para mi

para empezar quiero decir que es la única canción con pronombres en walls, este dato no es menor ya que significa que intencionalmente quería remarcar el genero femenino (podría haberla hecho neutra también pero no, decidió usar pronombres femeninos). harry nos dió muchas pruebas de que también usa los pronombres femeninos y louis no se quedó atrás.

la letra a mi parecer es bastante obvia, habla de las inseguridades de harry y de como louis le dice que no deje de ser quien es y que cada cosa de ella es perfecta.

habla de la ropa, de como tal vez harry por mas abierta que parezca, aun asi le da miedo vestirse tal y como le gustaría cuando esta con amigxs/familiares; habla del miedo a hacer cosas que ama, como bailar; habla de no querer llamar la atención, de querer esconderse, etc.

es una hermosa canción de amor, podemos ver lo enamorado que louis esta y de que no le importa los pronombres o la ropa, el siempre la va a amar y va a estar ahi para ayudarla en sus inseguridades. (x) (x)

DEFENCELESS

estoy indefenso, tengo tanto que perder

original

“i come runnin’ to you like a moth into a flame you tell me, “take it easy”, but it’s easier to say “wish i didn’t need so much of you” i hate to say, but i do. we’re sleepin’ on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams we wake up early morning and they’re still under the sheets i’m lost in my head, i’m spinnin’ again tryna find what to say to you”

traducción

“vengo corriendo hacia ti como una polilla en llamas me dices, “tomalo con calma”, pero es mas facil decir “desearia no necesitar tanto de ti” yo odio decirlo, pero lo hago. estamos durmiendo en nuestros problemas como si los resolviéramos en nuestros sueños nos levantamos temprano en la mañana y todavía están debajo de las sábanas. estoy perdido en mi cabeza, estoy girando de nuevo intentando encontrar qué decirte”

esta canción literalmente habla del closeting. primero habla de que cuando louis se enoja por algo que tienen que hacer (para los stunts) harry le dice que se lo tome con calma al lo que louis responde que es mas facil si el le dijese que desearía no amarlo tanto. el odia decir que sería todo mas facil si no se amasen, pero sabe que es así. despues habla en plural (esto es importante porqje remarca que es un problema por el que pasan ambos) diciendo que ambos duermen esperando levantarse y que todo este solucionado. y por último habla de como louis esta constantemente pensando en soluciones y consuelos para ambos.

original

“been up all night, all night, runnin’ all my lines but it’s only the truth been up all night, not sure how to say this right got so much to lose”

“never been so defenceless (oh-oh) never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) you just keep on buildin’up your fences (oh-oh) but i’ve never been so defenceless (ooh-ooh) [...]”

traducción

“he estado despierto toda la noche, toda la noche, corriendo todas mis líneas pero es sólo la verdad he estado despierto toda la noche, no estoy seguro de cómo decir esto bien tengo mucho que perder”

“nunca he estado tan indefenso (oh-oh) nunca he estado tan indefenso (ooh-ooh) sigues construyendo tus cercas (oh-oh) pero nunca he estado tan indefenso (ooh-ooh) [...]”

estuvo toda la noche repasando todo lo que tiene que solucionar, todo lo que tiene que decir para fingir; no sabe como decirlo porque sabe que si lo dice puede perder mucho. (esto es literalmente un lyric sobre salir del closet, no necesita explicacion) dice que se siente indefenso a pesar de ver a harry construyendo se camino hacia el final, que no importa que vea la luz al final del tunel, el se siente vulnerable.

original

“no, you don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do and i can’t get inside when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove”

traducción

“no, no tienes que seguir siendo fuerte para mí y para ti actuando como si no sintieras dolor, sabes que sé que lo haces y no puedo entrar cuando estás perdido en tu orgullo pero no tienes nada que demostrar”

le dice a harry que se deje de hacer el que nada le afecta porque sabe que sufre tanto como el, que se abra asi el puede ayudarlo y que no se deje ganar por su orgullo.

original

“i hope that i’m not asking too much just wanna be loved by you (don’t you be so defensive) and i’m too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you”

traducción

“espero no preguntar demasiado sólo quiero ser amado por ti (no estés tan a la defensiva) y estoy demasiado cansado para ser duro solo quiero ser amado por ti”

esto necesita explicacion? es louis diciendole a harry que ya no le importa nada y solo quiere ser amado por el.

ONLY THE BRAVE

louis en el amor tiene que ser valiente

esta canción no habla sobre harry, habla sobre la sexualidad de louis pero me pareció correcto incluirla ya que le veo importancia y relación a su relación con el.

original

“pour mercy, mercy on me set fire to history i’m breaking my own rules i’m crying like a fool tall stories on the page short glories on the fade i’ve been close enough to touch but i never cared for love”

traducción

“derrama misericordia, ten piedad de mí prende fuego a la historia estoy rompiendo mis propias reglas estoy llorando como un tonto historias altas en la página breves glorias en el desvanecimiento he estado lo suficientemente cerca como para tocar pero nunca me preocupé por el amor”

“ten piedad de mi” “estoy rompiendo mis propias reglas y “estoy llorando como un tonto” se refieren a que louis sufrió mucho cuando descubrió su sexualidad y tuvo una etapa de autonegación, no todxs se aceptan al principio. “prende fuego la historia” e “historias altas en la página” habla de como históricamente la homosexualidad no fue aceptada. “breves glorias en el desvanecimiento he estado lo suficientemente cerca como para tocar” habla de las veces que se sientió cerca de salir del closet pero nunca termina pasando. “pero nunca me preocupé por el amor” nunca se preocupó por amar en la forma que le enseñaron: heterosexualmente.

original

“it’s a church of burnt romances and i’m too far gone to pray it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”

traducción

“es una iglesia de romances quemados y estoy demasiado lejos para rezar es una canción en solitario y es sólo para valientes”

primero habla de la iglesia (ya sabemos la opinión de la iglesia frente a la homosexualidad) la frase “romances quemados” habla de todas las parejas gay que no pudieron estar juntos porque la sociendad lo impedía (también era muy nornal en la antiguedad quemar a los homosexuales en la hoguera y también puede hacer referencia a eso, es un poco fuerte pero tiene sentido). “estoy demasiado lejos para rezar” habla de que esta muy lejos de ser lo que la iglesia espera y siente que dios no lo escucharía. “es una canción en solitario y es solo para los valientes” es una canción para la gente que a pesar de que se siente sola es valiente.

también hay que acalarar que las personas heterosexuales no tienen que ser valientes para amar, los heterosexuales son aceptados en todo el mundo y no tienen ni leyes que los perjudiquen ni millones de personas que piensan que son enfermos. decir que los heterosexuales también tienen que ser valientes para amar, es homofobico.

original

“if the truth tell darling, you feel like there ain’t enough dying stars in your sky it’s a tall tale and it’s only hello, hello, no goodbye (goodbye)”

traducción

“si la verdad dice cariño, tú sientes como si no hubiera suficientes estrellas moribundas en tu cielo es un cuento alto y es sólo hola, hola, no adiós (adiós)”

la primera parte habla de que al decir tu verdadera orientación perdes a muchas personas, las “estrellas moribundas” son las personas que te dejan y “tu cielo” es tu vida. la segunda parte habla de los “argumentos” homofobicos que la gente dice cuando te mostras como sos y de que no importa que te digan, vos seguís siendo como sos. (tall tale=historia muy exagerada)

original

“pour mercy, mercy on me i’ll fall upon my knees and they’ll say, “i told you so” come on, when you know, you know”

traducción

“derrama misericordia, ten piedad de mí, caeré de rodillas y ellos dirán: “te lo dije” vamos, cuando sabes, tú sabes”

en el momento que ya no pueda mas y “caiga de rodillas” (salga del closet) y pierda a muchas personas, va a haber alguien que le diga “viste, te dije que no debías decirlo”, el sabe que fue lo correcto, pero también sabe que en parte tienen razón, se lo dijeron y aún asi decidió ser libre.

original

“all the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave it’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave”

traducción

“todas las sombras solitarias bailan desde que nacen hasta que mueren es una canción en solitario y es sólo para valientes”

sos quien sos desde que naces hasta que te morís, es una canción para las personas que se sienten solitarias pero aun asi son valientes.

claramente esta es solo mi interpretación, sus interpretaciones también son igual de válidas (en cuanto las puedan justificar obvio) no hay una interpretación correcta así que si lo interpretan distinto también esta bien

[mochi-marie]

Matchup for a bnha or haikyuu bb? Whichever you’re more motivated and inspired by! I love both😌

I’m pan/bi/don’t really have a word for whatever I am lmao. I use she/her and they/them pronouns!

I’m pretty short😒 I have very long dark hair, brown eyes, and freckles! I have an undercut, and an eyebrow slit, I have a dark blue money piece too😌

For personality, I’m incredibly chaotic😅Though I’m an introvert. But I have the tendency to be rather loud, and I have some bad anger issues. I’d consider myself a pretty spontaneous, accepting, ambitious for sure, academic, and creative person. :) I’m also a Libra!

And for hobbies, I’m a tumblr writer, for starters😌 reading, gardening, anything anime(wow who coulda guessed), random art related things, and anything music related are what I spend most of my time doing :) Homie I play like 8 different instruments lmao

For clothing style, I prefer being comfortable but honestly I dress edgy as fuck lmao. Band tees, hoodies, leggings or skinny jeans, vans 😌 (the urge I have to buy a bucket hat,,, you don’t even know) but I have days where I dress totally different so it’s kinda up in the air🤷🏻‍♀️ whatever I’m feeling at the time

My love language is 50% words of affirmation, and 50% quality time. I’m not big on touching due to some past shit, but in long term relationships I’ve found myself being okay with it.

I don’t have a type physically, at least I think so? But I do personality wise! Accepting, open minded, hard working, and generally compassionate/caring to others are BIG. Also, if you don’t love animals, it’s not happening bro. (I’m an animal lover okay cut me some slack)

Lastly, I desperately want to say I’m an early bird- so so bad. But I’m a night owl by default, usually going to bed around 8-9am. Maybe I am a morning person then? 🧐 One thing I can’t live without is my cat😌 My absolute -BABY-

That was a bit long, but I used your examples page to help! I also tried to separate in terms of usefulness lmao! Hopefully I got some relevant stuff for ya😌

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: so i really hope you like what's in here !! kinda nervous, especially since i didn't want to look like i was taking the easy way out by choosing shirabu 'cause of your pfp, so i hope you like who i chose instead ! 🥺😌 also, i had to look up what money pieces were because i was literally so confused pff, so hopefully i looked up the right thing ?? also, i feel like i might've made him a bit ooc since i'm still trying to get a handle on how to write certain characters, so i deeply apologize !! 😞

𝗜𝗪𝗔𝗜𝗭𝗨𝗠𝗜 𝗛𝗔𝗝𝗜𝗠𝗘

♡ . . . REASONINGS : reading over the entire ask, i have come to the conclusion that, in my own personal opinion, you would look best with iwaizumi hajime!

look-wise, i think alone you would be a rather interesting couple! when it comes to clothing style, on your more edgy days, i could see you and iwaizumi both rocking some rather nice looking outfits fit with dark fitted trousers and t-shirts or hoodies — y'know that one outfit of his where it is a grey hoodie underneath what seems to be a jean-jacket of some sorts? if you were cold, he'd shoulder it off to throw over your form, looking away quickly while muttering how he couldn't let you go cold.

i think for this relationship, there definitely seems to be a small bit of "opposites attract". mentioning how chaotic you can be, your creativity and spontaneous tendencies would nicely balance his gruff / seemingly grumpy austerity. iwaizumi also fills out some mentions of what you are attracted to; iwa seems to be hard-working and ambitious to a degree, but he is also very caring and observant of others, as seen within his relationship with oikawa. i feel that he might be used to dealing with people more expressive than him, so i think that this relationship would balance out really nicely and just be so cute together.. ☺️ <3

iwaizumi would definitely respect your discomfort with physical affection in the beginning, and along with that, quality time!! he! would! love! it! whether it would be sitting in the same room as you as you both do your own little things, or managing to rope him into gardening with you or showing him your talent in all those instruments, i have a feeling that he'd love to spend simple time with you.

i think he would be mildly intrigued in your hobby of gardening — imagine him bringing out any tools you might need, whether it be a bucket or spades or something.. ( listen, i suck at anything dealing with gardening i don't know anything about it i apologize- ) <3

𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗-𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦

♡ . . . iwaizumi would either fight your cat for your affection, or be fighting you for your cat's affection, there is no other way that i can see it (depending if you're comfortable with affection / how far into the relationship you are!)

♡ . . . like i said, imagine him coming out to garden with you!! if you tend to garden for a while (i'm imagining like a full on garden, so i apologize if i'm way off base!!), he might stay outside with you for awhile, help if you need anything, bring you a drink if it's hot outside 🥺

♡ . . . i feel like he might get you little things, like if he sees a book you've been talking about he'd get it for you on spur of the moment and bring it home to you ! or if you've been wanting to try out something art-y he might get some supplies on his next outing, or supplies similar to what you had been talking about! he'll leave them on the counter for you to find-

♡ . . . i feel like he would want to go everywhere with you, if he could — i'm not talking like he needs to be with you every second of the day, no — more so, i think iwa would always just get up and grab his shoes and keys if say you're going to the store.

𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗗𝗕𝗢𝗔𝗥𝗗

𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗦

♡ . . . sugawara koushi, tendou satori, akaashi keiji, yamaguchi tadashi

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

Royal Growing Pains - Chapter Twenty Two

Warnings: Homophobia, transphobia, misgendering, sympathetic Deceit

Royal Growing Pains Tag

It turns out that Damien, Roman, and the King were the first three to show up for dinner. Roman glanced around. “I don’t see my mother,” he said.

Damien hummed. “Perhaps our mothers are discussing something elsewhere?”

“For your mother’s sake, I hope they’re not together,” Roman muttered.

Damien laughed. “Relax, my mother can handle herself in any situation,” he replied, taking a seat. “That includes less-than-pleasant ones.”

Roman took a seat next to Damien and sighed. “I figured, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to feel bad.”

“You aren’t responsible for anyone’s actions but your own, my dear,” Damien said.

“Tell that to my mother,” Roman muttered darkly.

“I will, if you genuinely want me to,” Damien simply replied.

Roman considered. “After the wedding,” he decided. “When I’m out of her clutches.”

“Should we make a code for when she’s around?” Damien asked softly. “So that we can warn each other?”

“Sounds good, what can we call her?” Roman asked.

“The Dragon Witch?” Damien asked.

Roman snorted. “She certainly acts like a witch-with-a-b,” he muttered. “And I can just say it’s a story Remus was telling me about if she asks. It’s perfect.”

Damien gave Roman a thumbs-up and Roman snickered. “I love it when you’re less formal,” he said. “Getting to see who you really are.”

“I mean, I have a formal side to me, it’s still me that you’re seeing, but you have a point. When I’m less formal you’re closer to seeing the ‘real me,’” Damien said. “Whatever that means.”

Roman shrugged just as he heard the tell-tale sound of his mother trying to wheedle something out of whoever she was talking to at the edge of the room. “Yes, I know you’re busy, honey, all I’m asking for is five minutes. I want to hear my son’s voice again!”

Ouch. Roman flinched and Damien placed a hand on his shoulder, murmuring his apologies. “Not your fault,” Roman murmured in response.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, and for that, I’m sorry,” Damien said.

“Hi, sweetheart!” his mother said in a sickeningly sweet tone. Roman took a deep breath, looking over at Damien and rolling his eyes. Damien winced. “How have you been, Remus?”

A long pause, before his mother sharply said, “You know this is what’s best for her, dear, we’re making sure that she’s all right. Now, if you’re going to behave like that whenever I speak to you, by all means, give the phone back to your father.” Roman waited with bated breath and nearly burst out laughing as his mother sighed and said, “Hello, darling. He’s still stubborn as ever, I see.”

Damien snickered quietly next to Roman and Roman ribbed him as he started cracking under his own mask. The two continued trying to stifle their laughter as the conversation on the phone continued, and Roman’s phone pinged. mother wanted to speak with me, and i told her exactly what i thought about this situation :P read the text from Remus.

i heard, and i appreciate it Roman replied.

Damien pulled out his own phone and typed, if you always behave that way around your parents, i am admittedly impressed. i have attempted to go head-to-head with your mother and it is not a pleasant experience

the price i pay for my brother :P Remus responded.

Roman sent a couple hearts to the group chat and put his phone away as his mother walked over. Damien stayed on his phone a moment longer, long enough for Damien to tell Remus that they could talk after dinner, before he, too, put his phone away and looked up at Roman’s mother with a sigh. “Your Majesty,” he said civilly. “I propose a truce for tonight’s dinner? An agreement that no fights shall be had while we eat?”

“We wouldn’t have an issue if you just trusted that I know my daughter best,” Roman’s mother said.

“Respectfully, Your Majesty, I myself am still a young adult. I trust the judgement of my peers much faster than those who are a generation older than I, merely because we have gone through similar experiences in a similar range of time. So, I will take my fiancé’s judgement to heart faster than yours. Now, we did discuss certain things earlier today that mean I will be using she/her pronouns and the name Veronica for her for the time being, but I will still defer to Veronica faster than I will defer to you. It’s nothing personal,” Damien said.

Roman’s mother’s nostrils flared and Roman groaned. “Mother, Damien is trying to offer you an olive branch. It would be awfully nice if you took it.”

“I hardly see what olive branch there is in calling me old,” Roman’s mother spat.

“I didn’t...that was not my intention,” Damien said calmly. “And I truly apologize that it came off as such. I just wish for a quiet dinner.”

“Diana! There you are!” the Queen said, walking into the room. “I’ve been looking for you, the tailor called and said he had a couple dress ideas in mind and he might want your opinion tomorrow on what you think would be best.”

“He did?” Roman’s mother asked.

“Apparently, he can’t decide on the frills. The cut is fine, according to him, but he can’t find the right lace for the job,” the Queen explained.

Roman’s mother, suitably distracted, started talking with the Queen about these supposed options for the “dress.” Roman sighed just as Patton walked in with dinner. “Everything okay, Your Highness?” Patton asked.

“Oh, fine,” Roman waved off. “Just a little tired.”

“Don’t fall asleep just yet,” Patton said with a little giggle. “Word on the grapevine is that you’re going to need your vows done by tomorrow morning, and that neither of you have started!”

“Wait, why tomorrow morning?” Damien asked, looking like he had just been told he would be wearing a dress for the wedding.

“Don’t you know?” Patton asked. “The justice of the peace is coming in and going to be talking to the both of you about the vows.”

Damien paled and Roman choked. “Oh, no,” he breathed.

“Relax, my dear, you have a way with words, you should figure out exactly what you need to say without too much difficulty. I’m more worried about myself. My endeavors in writing have not been...great, historically,” Damien said.

“Maybe we could help each other?” Roman asked hopefully. “Brainstorm together?”

“Absolutely not!” Roman’s mother said. “The vows are to be a surprise for the both of you! I don’t want you spoiling that, Veronica!”

Roman bit the inside of his cheek and looked away from his mother, grumbling as the food was put on the table. “I can’t very well do this on my own,” he muttered.

“Perhaps you could text Remus?” Damien offered. “You said he was a writer, he might be able to help.”

“That’s true,” Roman considered. “I might have to give him a call. Or at the very least a text, because I know meetings happen and he might not be able to respond right away. But I will consider that. Lord knows I could use the help.”

“You’re not the only one,” Damien laughed, but it sounded strained.

“Don’t worry, Damien, you’ll do fine,” the Queen said, mischief in her eyes as she continued, “If you speak from the heart, you’ll do fine.”

Damien’s cheeks darkened into a deep scarlet and he coughed. “I’m not doing that,” he said with a scowl. “And you know full-well why.”

Roman inwardly sighed. The Queen had given him the same advice, and he knew that if he did that, he’d be the laughing stock of the wedding. Damien would probably say some generic things about love and trust and hope, and if Roman were honest...and said how much he liked Damien even only after knowing him for a few days...well, he didn’t think it would end well. For anyone involved. “I don’t know why,” Roman said idly, hoping that he could get a look into Damien’s side of things with some gentle prodding.

“It’s...it’s just embarrassing,” Damien stammered out, not looking Roman in the eye. “You know...talking about love and the like. All this talk about not doing PDA in public, and then on your wedding day you’re supposed to go all-in on it and just...make out in front of everybody, or something? And talking about love is...just really odd, in general, I find.”

No definitive answer for anything there, except that Damien wasn’t used to PDA. Great, Roman still had nothing to work with. How was he supposed to know where he stood with Damien if Damien didn’t talk to him? Roman certainly couldn’t say anything first! That would be uncomfortable, and Damien might misunderstand what he meant, and take it as a joke, or—

No, take a second. Breathe. Everything would be fine. Even if Damien didn’t like Roman, he was willing to make sure Roman was safe, and able to transition. That in and of itself was going above and beyond. And if falling in love wasn’t an option, well, Roman would live. It wouldn’t be easy, by any means, but he could make it through this without Damien loving him back.

He took a bite of dinner and hummed softly. If everything else failed, he could always drown his sorrows in food. Patton was an amazing cook.

Damien kept glancing at Roman and Roman met his gaze. “What?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Damien said. “I just...your hair looks pretty in evening light. Like it’s...I don’t know,” he made a vague gesture in the air, “It’s just...it suits you. It’s pretty.”

“I prefer it short,” Roman said with a little laugh. “But thank you. It’s nice to know someone can appreciate it for me.”

Damien turned back to his plate with a red face and Roman tried to breathe. Was that flirting?! Was Damien trying to flirt with him?! If that was the case, Roman would not make it out of the end of this week alive. He would die on the spot the second Damien flirted with him and actually complimented something about Roman that he himself liked.

“...Son, if you’re going to flirt with your fiancé, may I suggest figuring out what features she may like about herself first? Complimenting someone in areas that they’re not confident about tends to either come across as sarcastic or less believable,” the King said.

“Father!” Damien exclaimed, turning dark red as Roman giggled like a mad man about to be fed to lions.

The Queen joined in with her two cents, as well, saying, “Honestly, dearheart, perhaps it’s best you refrain from flirting at all. After all, we all know how many problems with it you’ve had in the past.”

“I...I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of this,” Roman managed, red as a tomato himself. He turned to Damien, who held a hand in a fist over his mouth. “What happened?”

“The few times I have actually made attempts at flirting have usually been to dignitaries who wound up being creeped out by advances, or else...one time they were the boyfriend of another prince at the party. He did not take kindly to my trying to steal his boyfriend,” Damien mumbled.

Roman’s mother wrinkled her nose. “You flirted with a man?” she asked with disdain.

“In my defence, I thought he was a woman,” Damien said, pinching the bridge of his nose as he said it, and Roman suspected it was a blatant lie. “It was not my finest moment, though.”

Roman’s mother scoffed. “Clearly,” she said.

“Yes, go on, laugh at me. I yelled at you yesterday and you call me out for flirting with a man today. We’re even,” Damien ground out.

Roman groaned. “Must we have this argument?” he asked. “I, for one, would very much appreciate going through dinner without arguments. I’m tired, I’m stressed, I have to write vows as soon as dinner’s done or I’ll never finish them, and arguing is only going to make everything feel that much worse.”

Damien went quiet. “My apologies,” he said. “I will try and be civil.”

“You have no right to be out of line in the first place,” Roman’s mother snarled.

“Mother, enough,” Roman said. “Damien has the right to defend himself. Honestly, he’s made every attempt to be civil, and you just keep attacking him. If you’re this uncertain about his actions, why haven’t you taken me home yet? Or are you making him a member of the family early? Setting unrealistic expectations on him as well as myself? Because I’m fairly certain that he won’t sit still and simply look good while you drag him through the mud.”

“Don’t make matters worse, my dear, I can take it,” Damien said.

“But you shouldn’t have to,” Roman said firmly. “And so I’ll fight for you.”

“Diana, I think our children are going through enough at the moment,” the Queen said. “And I know we were friends as children, and I know that means you think I will always be on your side. But this is a far more nuanced situation than one side being right and the other being wrong. You attacking my son simply because he was trying to defend his friend’s ability to be herself, whoever that was, is not okay. He should not have treated you the way he did, true. But that does not give you the right to lash out at him.”

Roman’s mother huffed. “I fail to see why this issue is even being discussed!” she snapped. “Your son is supposed to be helping my daughter, not enabling her!”

Roman got the very vivid image of stabbing his mother with a fork and he took a deep breath to try and get his anger back under control. “If you need us to leave, Mother, we can,” Damien said, putting one of his hands on Roman’s.

“That’s not necessary, dearheart,” the Queen said. “You shouldn’t have to leave on our account.”

Roman looked down at his plate. He still had half of the food to finish, and he felt like he might be sick, forcing himself to sit and listen to this for another single moment. Damien shifted in his seat and murmured to Roman, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” Roman sighed. “Just not a huge fan of the direction of this conversation,” he admitted.

“Then let’s change it,” Damien said. “What’s your hair-care routine? Because I would kill for soft, fluffy hair.”

Roman burst out laughing, looking at Damien in surprise. “Oh, come on, you look handsome enough as is, if you had my hair you would probably kill me on the spot.”

“That’s the idea, my dear,” Damien said with a smirk.

“Cheeky,” Roman chastised.

As Roman took a drink, Damien remarked, “Better than naughty,” and Roman nearly choked.

“Excuse you, I have talked with Virgil, I know exactly what you mean by that, and no, I will not further that discussion!” Roman said with a laugh.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Damien said, lips twitching up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure,” Roman said. “We’re still not discussing this.”

“Aw,” Damien said, looking very put-out save for the wide grin on his face. “What are we to talk about, then?”

“I have no remote clue,” Roman said, taking a bite of his food.

“Hm,” Damien hummed. “I’m afraid most of my topics of conversation usually lead down the road of bickering or banter, and I know you’d rather finish your dinner sooner than later.”

“True,” Roman allowed. “Arguing over whatever we may find interesting is not a good way to finish dinner quickly, but I want to be awake when I try and figure out my vows.”

Damien hummed his agreement, looking Roman over. “What?” Roman asked.

“You are very pretty, I hope you realize this,” Damien said. “And pretty is not a bad thing. Anyone can be pretty. But when you get excited, you’re exceptionally pretty.”

“I will start a food fight if you’re not careful,” Roman warned him.

Damien laughed. “Your response to receiving a genuine compliment is to start throwing whatever’s on hand?” he asked.

“You’d better believe it,” Roman said. “Never compliment me when I’m painting. Only compliment the work itself if you want to leave spotless.”

“Noted,” Damien said with a laugh. “Fact remains, though...”

Roman reached for his fork and started cutting a piece of food. “Damien Byron, don’t you dare,” he warned.

“All right, all right!” Damien laughed. “I’ll let you eat in peace.”

“Thank you,” Roman grumbled, returning to eating.

The rest of dinner Damien and Roman mostly focused on eating, while the King and Queen discussed logistics of the press at the wedding, and Roman’s mother threw in her two cents every once in a while. Roman finished his dinner, wiped at his mouth with a napkin, and said, “Well, that was delicious, but I really do need to get to work.”

“Of course, should I walk you to your room?” Damien asked, standing in time with Roman.

“You compliment me and you may find yourself at the bottom of another staircase,” Roman warned.

“Does complimenting include flirting?” Damien asked.

“Yes,” Roman said, glaring at Damien. “You flirt with me and you’re a dead man.”

“I would have assumed that would be you, but all right,” Damien said with a smirk.

“You little—!” Roman exclaimed as Damien dashed out of the room. “Get back here!”

They ran through the halls, both of them laughing as Roman poured on the speed and caught up to Damien, grabbing the back of his shirt. Damien slowed to a walk and Roman laughed, breathless. “You’re such a little shit,” Roman laughed.

“Part of my charm,” Damien said with a shameless grin.

“I wonder if you’ll be grinning that much whenever I actually call you naughty, just to see what would happen,” Roman said innocently.

Damien instantly turned cherry red and his breath caught. “Oh, god,” he breathed. “No. Pretty men doing that to me is not allowed.” He started walking away.

Roman followed him. “You’re the one who brought it up,” Roman reminded him.

“I know, but—”

“—You can’t expect no consequences, Damien,” Roman said, a smirk toying on his lips. “Honestly, behaving the way you have, just at dinner alone? You’re lucky we’re both busy tonight.”

“My dear, please,” Damien begged. “Not...don’t...now’s not...not a good time.”

Roman pouted. “Oh, all right,” he allowed. “But if you behave that way on our wedding day, there will most certainly be consequences.”

Damien nodded. “Yessir,” he said, before clamping a hand over his mouth and turning away, silently screaming into his hand as Roman cackled. “This never happened!” Damien snapped at Roman.

“Oh, it most certainly did,” Roman said, waggling his eyebrows as he continued, “And if you want more, all you ever have to do is ask.”

“No!” Damien exclaimed. He took a deep breath. “No, that won’t be necessary, my dear. Um. Are you all right walking yourself the rest of the way?”

“Yeah,” Roman said with a giggle. “Don’t worry, Damien, I’m a big boy; I can handle myself. And, just for the record?” he stood on his toes and whispered in Damien’s ear, “I’d love to hear you call me ‘sir’ again.”

Damien didn’t reply verbally, just ran down the hall, cheeks aflame. Virgil passed him in the hallway, staring at him before turning to Roman. “What did the gay disaster do this time?” he asked.

“He called me sir,” Roman said with a smirk.

“Oh,” Virgil said knowingly. “Oh, yeah, that explains a lot. Am I allowed to tease him about that?”

“Knock yourself out,” Roman said with a laugh. “He never swore me to secrecy!”

Virgil flashed Roman a peace sign and walked away, and Roman made his way to his room. He pulled out his phone and with a grin, texted Remus. remus, omg, you’re never going to believe what fh just said to me!

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[hurtfm]

                             〔 SOFIA CARSON, 23, CIS FEMALE, CURSE CREATION 〕                         ╰  LUCRECIA  ’ LULU ’  MARQUEZ  just  came  over  half - blood  hill .  you  know ,  the  child  of  NEMESIS  who  was  claimed  three  months  ago ?  i’ve  heard  chiron  say  that  she  is  RELIABLE & SCHOLARLY ,  but  if  you  ask  the  aphrodite  kids ,  they’d  say  they’re  NARCISSISTIC & TREACHEROUS .  i’d  say  they  remind  me  of  perfectly  manicured  nails ,  clicking  of  high  heels  on  tile ,  and  patron  filled  shot  glasses ,  especially  since  they’re  NEUTRAL  TO  THE  NEW  CABINS . 

hello  beans !  i’m  weachy   &   this  right  here  is  lulu  marquez .   she  is  also  a  brand  spankin’  new  muse   &   i’m  so  excited  to  figure  her  out  as  time  goes  on !  however ,   what  i  do  know  about  her  is  under  the  cut .   trigger  warning  for   excessive  rambling  as  i  truthfully  don’t  know  when  to  shut  up   ––   like  right  now !   anyways ,   as  always ,   if  you  would  like  to  plot  with  her ,   go  ahead  and   press  that  little  heart  to  the  side   &   i’ll  snake  into  your  ims !   i’m  so  excited  to  be  here  and  join  all  of  you !

full  name :  lucrecia  ‘  lulu  ‘  rosalía  marquez . date  of  birth :  april  29th ,  1997   (  making  her  a  taurus  ) gender :   cis  female pronouns :  she / her sexual  orientation :  bisexual / biromantic goldy  parent :  nemesis  (  goddess  of  balance ,   retribution ,  vengeance  ) family :  matías  marquez  (  father  )  ,  isobel  marquez  (  step  mother  )  ,   andrés  ,   sebastían  ,   samuel  ,  &  gabriela  marquez  (  half  brothers  and  sisters  ) playlist :  beautiful ,   dirty ,   rich  (  lady  gaga  )  ,  do or die  (  tony velour  )  ,  affluenza  (  conan grey  )  ,  play date  (  melanie martinez  )  ,  cry for help  ( macy kate  )  ,  good thing  (  zedd  &  kehlani  )  ,  all of the lights  (  kanye  west  )  ,  would i  (  maggie lindemann  )  ,  &  hotter  than  hell  (  dua  lipa  ) influences : blair waldorf  (  gossip girl  )  ,  carla  roson  (  elite  ) ,   jackie  burkhart  (  that  70s  show  ) ,  guzman  osuna  (  elite  )  ,  madeline  mackenzie  (  little  big  lies  )  ,  &  alex russo  (  wizards of waverly place  ) tropes :  femme  fatale  &  corrrupter pinterest :  linked  here !

01 .  past .

   the  marquez’s  have  resided  in  san  diego  for  generations .   lulu’s  grandfather  came  over  from  medellin ,  colombia  with  his  wife  and  four  sons .   the  eldest  of  those  being  a  twelve  year  old  boy  by  the  name  of  matías .   at  the  ripe  age  of  eighteen ,   matías’   father  had  created  the   largest  and  most  profitable  oil  company  on  the  west  coast   ––   marquez  petró ,  inc .   all  four  sons  followed  in  their  father’s  footsteps  and  although  the  work  was  never  easy ,   the  profits  were  extraordinary .  when  matías  was  twenty - four ,   he  met  a  lovely  young  lady  and  a  year  after  that  came  lulu .   two  years  later ,   he  married  the  love  of  his  life ,  isobel .   

   however ,   by  the  time  the  two  of  them  had  kids ,   the  business  didn’t  seem  like  hard  work  anymore .   after  matías  took  over  the  company  when  his  father  retired ,   he  was  making  more  money  in  one  phone  call  than  his  father  had  in  a  month .   because  of  this ,  his  family  had  seen  more  of  him  than  he  ever  had  of  his  own  father .   isobel  and  matías  had  four  beautiful  children  together :  andrés ,  sebastían ,  samuel ,  and  gabriela .   their  father  had  always  told  the  five  of  them  stories  of  him  going  weeks  without  seeing  his  father   ––   hearing  a  door  creek  at  1am  noting  his  father  coming  home  and  again  at  6am  noting  his  father  heading  to  work   ––    almost  daily .   he’d  tell  stories  of  the  times  when  he  was  old  enough  for  manual  labor ,   he’d  go  out  onto  the  sites  himself .   however ,  the  five  of  them  never  dared  touch  a  tool  or  step  foot  onto  a  site .   dirty  nails  and  greasy  hands  and   soaked  shirts ?   something  they’d  never  experience .

   that’s  how  the  five  of  them  grew  up .   learning  of  the  struggles  of  creating  such  a  business  yet  not  living  them  themselves .   this  caused  entitlement  and  pride  to  sneak  in  the  way  of  their  every  day  conversations .   their  parents  had  tried  to  keep  them  grounded ,  to  remind  them  the  sacrifices  and  work  their  family  had  put  into  this  business .   however ,   the  multiple  houses ,   memberships ,   and  trust  funds  they  were  each  rewarded  at  certain  birthdays  put  any  of  that  effort  to  ground  them  to  shame .

   however ,   the  stories  her  father  wouldn’t  tell  were  about  her  mother .   lucrecia  had  always  known  that  isobel  wasn’t  her  mother ,   but  until  she  was  thirteen  years  old ,   she’d  never  really  known  the  truth .   however ,   her  father  had  kept  the  truth  from  her  to  protect  her  as  well  as  to  make  sure  that  she  was  old  enough  to  comprehend  all  of  this  information .   it  was  there  she  learned  her  mother  was   a  greek  god ,   and  instead  of  attending  a  regular  high  school ,   she  would  be  attending  camp  half  blood .   her  father  wouldn’t  tell  her  who   ––   she  was  sure  it  was  his  lack  of  knowledge  exactly  because  he’d  been  open  with  her  about  everything  else .

02 .  present .

   when  she  started  attending  camp  half  blood ,   she  was  a  resident  of  the  hermes  cabin .   ironically ,  she  was  thankful .   despite  the  fact  that  there  was  so  many  residents ,   it  made  her  feel  more  at  home .   she’d  grown  up  in  a  big  family ,   despite  the  fact  that  they  weren’t  crowded .   however ,   as  time  went  on ,   she  whole  heartedly  wanted  out .   not  necessarily  because  she  hated  where  she  was  living   ––   but  because  she  hated  the  fact  that  it  wasn’t  confirmed  who  her  mother  was .   

   she’d  grown  up  with  the  greatest  father  possibly  in  existence   &   the  fact  that  her  mother  wasn’t  even  keen  enough  to  claim  her  daughter  made  that  so  much  worse .   it  started  getting  worse  and  worse  when  she  started  putting  the  pieces  together .   her  powers ,   the  one’s  she  exceeded  at ,   all  pointed  to  nemesis .   more  ironically ,   when  the  law  was  passed  and  she  was  finally  claimed  as  such ,   it  couldn’t  have  been  more  fitting  that  a  daughter  of  nemesis  was  the  one  who  was  so  against  the  new  cabins   ––   against  going  unclaimed  for  so  long .   the  anger ,   the  vengence ,   were  all  things  lulu  experienced   ––   practically  first  hand .   although  she’d  never  been  extremely  close  to  lyssa ,   she  understood .   even  now ,   knowing  the  girl  was  her  sister ,   it  only  fueled  that  anger  in  her ,   of  going  unclaimed .

03 .  personality .

   personally ,   her  mortal  life  is  the  life  she  lives .   she  has  kept  her  rich  kid ,   better  than  you  because  i’ve  never  had  to  lift  a  finger  personality  in  camp  since  she  was  thirteen  years  old .  she  is  better  than  you  and  truthfully  believes  it .   not  that  she  expects  the  ground  she  walks  on  to  be  kissed  by  everyone  in  existence ,   but  if  it  happens   ––  she  wouldn’t  fight  it .

   unless  you  have  her  respect ,   she  pretends  you  don’t  exist .   she  is  not  one  of  those  regina  george  types  to  put  you  down  to  your  face .   if  she  has  a  problem  with  you ,   she’ll  only  put  you  down  behind  your  back .   however ,  if  confronted ,   she  won’t  deny  it .  a  lot  of  her  first  interactions  have  the  phrase  ‘   i’m  sorry ,   who  are  you ?  ‘   attached  to  them .   she’s  not  bad  with  names  or  faces  in  the  slightest ,   it’s  just  another  reminder  that  remembering  you  is  not  a  priority  of  hers .   however ,  if  she  deems  you  useful ,   she’ll  put  on  her  gifted  smile  and  practiced  charm  for  the  greater  good .   the  side  of  her  that’s  real  isn’t  known  to  much  of  anyone .

   she  excels  in  particular  aspects  of  camp ,   and  is  ruthless  when  it  comes  to  those .   apologizing  is  not  on  the  forefront  of  her  mind  and  making  new  friends  is  not  a  priority .   basically ,   when  she  turned  twenty  one ,   becoming  the  best  at  what  she  loved  was  her  priority ,   and  making  friendships  or  having  fun  were  only  side  quests .

04 .  instances  of  her  powers  in  every  day  life .

looking  back  on  it  and  knowing  the  truth ,   lulu  can’t  picture  how  she  didn’t  put  it  together :

  decision  making   –––   in  the  silliest  way  possible ,   she  has  always  been  the  best  at  decision  making .   any  tough  decisions  that  need  to  be  made ,   she  can  do  them  with  no  emotion  attached  and  put  the  plan  to  action .   almost  as  if  when  it  comes  down  to  tough  choices ,   she  becomes  a  brick  logic  wall .   vengeance  sensitivity   –––   this  was  really  useful  growing  up  in  a  house  with  four  younger  siblings .   any  tricks  they  tried  to  play  on  her  or  lies  they  tried  to  sneak  past  her  were  quickly  debunked .   any  im  sorrys  that  weren’t  truthful  were  denied .   it  made  her  seem  cold  to  them ,   when  in  reality  she  was  just  waiting  for  a  better  and  more  sincere  emotion  from  them .   best  ally   –––   if  you  are  fighting ,   you  want  lulu  on  your  side .   although  this  is  attributed  to  her  mother ,   nemesis ,   she  likes  to  claim  this  comes  from  her  father .   the  marquez  family  has  always  been  extremely  loyal  in  their  businesses  as  well  as  in  their  family  alone .   because  family  is  everything  to  them ,   they  will  always  stand  by  each  others  side .   however ,   for  lulu ,   it  runs  so  much  deeper .   any  sense  of  betrayal  is  almost  like  a  physical  injury  to  her .   it  hurts  her  soul  and  spirit  to  the  point  of  actual  pain .   loyalty  is  a  two  way  street  but  you’ll  never  catch  her  drifting  off  road .   curse  creation   –––   she  didn’t  know  this  existed  until  she  started  attending  camp  half  blood .  however ,   as  soon  as  she  realized  she  possessed  this  gift ,   it  was  pretty  clear  who  her  mother  was .   it  was  the  biggest  give  away  for  her .   it  took  her  almost  years  to  master  &  now  she  has  it  down  pat .   she  mainly  uses  it  on  quests ,   but  she’d  be  lying  if  she  ever  said  that  she’d  never  used  it  for  selfish  reasons .

05 .  wanted  connections .

   because  she’s  been  at  camp  since  she  was  thirteen  and  wasn’t  claimed  until  she  was  almost  twenty - three ,   anyone  who  has  lived  in  the  hermes  cabin  for  the  past  ten  years  she  would  have  lived  with .   i  would  love  some  people  in  that  cabin  that  she  would  have  gotten  along  with  and  maybe  some  that  she  didn’t .   out  of  the  cabin ,   i’d  love  if  she  had  an  ex  or  two ?   maybe  one  that  ended  on  bad  terms   &   one  where  they  ended  up  just  friends ?   friend  wise ,   i’ve  pictured  her  having  a  few  select  good  friends  and  a  majority  of  everyone  else  just  puts  up  with  her ?   i  also  would  love  1 / 2  people  she’s  gone  on  quests  with  before  that  have  maybe  gotten  to  know  a  little  more  about  her  that  has  nothing  to  do  with  her  hard  exterior .  lastly ,   any  other  friends  with  benefits  or  enemies  would  be  great  too !

[arigatouiris]

head over heels // b.b — 02

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader [Female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; angst [a lot of it]; mentions of drug abuse and explicit sexual references; mentions of anxiety, depressive thoughts, suicide, post-traumatic stress; fluff [in later chapters]

Follows events after Endgame, but Tony, Natasha, Steve, Loki are alive in this universe.

Word count: 1875

Author’s Note: Thank you all for getting back to me! And this chapter reveals more than one can think~ 

Those who want to be on the tag-list, do send me an ask~

02. kindness

✿

Never, in her service at BlueBells’ Cafe in the past six years, had any customer been rude to (y/n). It was just fortunate how everyone who walked in were kind to her, or either they were in too much of a hurry to not be rude. They came along, took their coffees and left, and her smile always made it easier for them to like her service and keep coming again. However, on Saturdays or Sundays, sometimes, grumpy customers do make an appearance.

When grumpy customers come in, (y/n) had the best way to handle them. She’d be extra nice, which was her specialty, and she’d give them a small free treat. An unnoticed action that had gone so well in the past few years, and she was grateful that she never got into trouble.

However, that Sunday morning, (y/n) had made a mistake. Everyone made mistakes, and she never quite understood why people blamed themselves when they did make a mistake. Errors are what made human beings fascinating, and considering the mistakes she had made in the past, not placing the lid properly on the coffee mug was comparatively less grave. The man who had ordered her coffee seemed like he was in a hurry, but just as he grabbed the cup, even before she was done placing the lid, (y/n)’s eyes widened and a gasp escaped her lips.

    “Sir—”

The coffee spilled onto the ground, earning looks from everyone already in the cafe. Including a certain brown haired coffee addict, who sat by himself at one of the far corner tables. Bucky’s eyes wandered to the coffee on the ground, and how the man in front of it, although unharmed, was now glaring at the kind barista.

    “I’m so sorry, sir. I’ll make you another one.”

    “How dare you! What if I was hurt?”

(y/n) stared at the man and blinked, “I’ll have this cleaned right away, and I’ll make you your coffee before that. I do apologize—”

    “Listen here, bitch,” (y/n)’s eyes turned to stone as he used the word. Bucky’s ears perked up, “I want to speak to your manager.”

On other occasions, Bucky would never allow himself to be seated when a barista is being yelled at for no actual fault of their own; he had seen what happened, how the man pulled the cup away even before she had placed the lid properly on to it. And being rude to a barista was simply wrong. Bucky knew, however, that if he went up and helped her, he would be acknowledging that he knew (y/n) better than her being just a barista.

She is, he thought bitterly, staring at his now empty cup of coffee, She is just a barista.

    “I want to speak to your manager!” He screamed, and Bucky felt his grip tighten on the cup.

    “I’m sorry, sir. We’re actually more of an egalitarian community with no rigid hierarchy. Whatever it is you want to tell the manager, you can tell me. I’ll be happy to help.” (y/n) smiled sweetly, before placing another cup of fresh coffee (with the lid intact this time).

The grumpy man grabbed the cup and walked off, and seeing how there was no one standing in line for a new order, or anyone entering the cafe, (y/n) went inside to get the cleaning essentials to clean the mess on the floor. Bucky was surprised with her reply to the man, wondering how women these days were bolder; not that he hadn’t seen bold women in the past. (y/n) never looked like someone who would reply snarkily, however, he was more than happy that she had. Bucky hated feeling relieved after learning that she was safe, even in her own devices, because this feeling only insinuated that he cared for her to an extent.

After cleaning the mess, (y/n) sat back on her stool in front of the counter, and continued reading. As if suddenly remembering that Bucky was in the cafe, she turned to him with wide eyes and offered him a kind smile—one of her kindest ones—which, Bucky returned halfway.

She approached him with the coffee mug and the cream cup, with the smile intact.

    “Are you alright, doll?”

He hadn’t planned on asking her that. Sometimes, our mouths get the better of us.

    “Absolutely. Another cup, Bucky?”

It was strange to Bucky on how she barely ever spoke about herself to him. She barely spoke to him, which Bucky knew was a good thing, but he wasn’t too comfortable with it. He couldn’t help but become curious about her, he couldn’t help but think what her deal was and why it was so easy for her to let him pass as a regular customer, even when he knew he had almost hit her the other day and she had dodged miraculously.

She poured him another up and stilled for a second. Bucky watched her and didn’t realize that she wasn’t smiling, and how her lips were slightly parted, how there were bags under her eyes and how up close, her hair wasn’t well kept. She looked sleep deprived, almost dehydrated even, and he couldn’t focus on either of these characteristics. However, what he did notice were her eyes.

They were hollow and empty.

Bucky’s eyes widened when she shifted her gaze to him, blinking a couple of times before revealing to him a stirrer she had brought along. She smirked again, making Bucky almost forget that she didn’t look okay, and began to draw on his cup.

    “You don’t mind that I draw these horrible things on your coffee, do you?”

Bucky couldn’t find the words to answer. He answered with a chuckle, and felt his hands turn sweaty. He didn’t need to notice these things about her; he barely knew anything about her, he didn’t need to, he didn’t deserve to. Clearing his throat, he thought of a reply.

    “I enjoy them. You’re very kind.”

She giggled a second later, “Oh, no. I’m just doing my job, Bucky.”

He didn’t know how much she meant those words. Twirling on her feet after the job was done, she went ahead three steps before pausing. Bucky watched her as she stilled, confused, and waited. Her shoulders went up and down, indicating she had taken a long breath, and (y/n) turned to face Bucky, no smile this time. His eyes were wide the whole time.

    “It’s on the house, Buck.” She had never called him ‘Buck’ before.

    “Why?” His voice was a whisper.

She giggled, “The wonderful thing is, it’s so incredibly easy to be kind. Always makes me feel better. It’s tit for tat.”

Bucky couldn’t respond in time with her scurrying off to her stool at the counter. Tit for tat? For what? He couldn’t understand. Staring at his new coffee cup, he noticed that there was another picture, a badly drawn bug like thing, which was perhaps a butterfly?

    “I tried to make a butterfly. I’m pretty sure you think it doesn’t look like one.” Came her voice.

Bucky chuckled, “It definitely doesn’t. Who gave you art lessons?”

(y/n) laughed and Bucky smiled. A half smile. He had been smiling half-smiles a lot ever since he met (y/n). He wasn’t too sure if he liked it, but he certainly looked forward to them. After another cup of coffee, it was time for him to leave. Bucky walked over to her and offered to pay, causing her to look at him with a deadpan. Bucky clicked his tongue and saw her waive off his bill, gesturing him to leave in a comical manner.

    “You want me to leave that badly, doll?”

She looked up at him and acknowledged his flirting, “Of course,” Bucky feigned a pained expression just as she said, “So that I can look forward to you coming in tomorrow.”

He stared at her and gulped once, learning that she had flirted back. She tilted her head sideways a bit before giggling at him. And she stopped a second after. She let out what seemed like a mix between a sigh and a regular breath and shook her head slightly.

    “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable—”

    “You didn’t. I’m sorry if I did—”

    “We should both stop apologizing to one another so much, Bucky.”

Bucky smiled another half-smile. He leaned against the counter and looked at her face. He took a good long look at the only person who was being kind to him not because he was the Winter Soldier.

There was no pity in her gaze. Just plain kindness.

    “I’ll see you tomorrow, doll.” His voice was low, and his eyes didn’t leave hers.

She couldn’t look away from the screaming from his eyes. However, just when he told her he’d see her tomorrow, they stopped. For a nanosecond, Bucky’s eyes ceased their screaming and just paused. Her eyes widened, and her face turned slightly red, a change that Bucky noticed. He cleared his throat and nodded once before turning to leave.

    “I’ll try drawing a wolf tomorrow.”

Bucky chuckled as he exited the cafe, his heart full of something. He knew he wouldn’t turn up the next day. He knew he couldn’t allow himself to become familiar to her, to someone who has been nothing but kind. She was fragile where he was not, she was kind where he was not, she was soft where he was not.

She was everything Bucky once thought he could dream of being, but here he was, desperately trying to run from it.

I’m a monster, he thought as he walked to his new apartment, ready to start the grind on repeat, pushing away the thought of a barista who was bad at art.

✿

As the door closed, the sound of the chime caused her smile to fall. (y/n)’s face was back to being what it always was—an unsmiling, rigid and nonchalant passiveness settled on an expressionless face. She sat on her stool and pretended to read, wondering why her mind was worried about a man’s screaming eyes.

She mustn’t care about Bucky; and if she did, if at all her heart went beyond the passiveness into an area that showed a tad bit of concern, she would stay away from him. If there was care, then she’d absent herself. Because she knew what happened to those she cared about.

I’m a monster, she thought, taking a sharp intake of breath. There’s no use pushing this away. She was running away from something that made no sense to her anymore, but yet, fear always prevented her from facing certain truths. And it didn’t matter now, since the people who could make her recall about those truths were no more. There was a reason to her smiling face, a reason so heartbreaking she knew that no one deserved to know.

She is kind because she knew that was not who she was. She could never be kind, kindness was not her. This was penance. Penance for a past that would haunt her till the end of time.

What hurt her most about her past was how flowers were permanently ruined for her.

✿

series taglist:

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[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, EMMA, you have been accepted to AL for the role of ANDROMEDA TONKS (FC: Camilla Mendes). WOW, Emma, I was blown away by your application! Andromeda is such an incredible character in your hands and I am so excited to see her develop on the dash!! I’m so happy that you’re joining us! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — Emma age — 24 pronouns — She/Her timezone — CST

any questions? — Is it okay if I make Nymphodora birthday November of 1973, so that Andromeda was 100% 18 years old when she got pregnant? Instead of her being 17 years old when she got pregnant and then giving birth at 18. I know it’s a minor detail, but I wanted to make sure it was alright.

IC Overview

name — Andromeda Ophelia Tonks (née Black) faceclaim — Camilla Mendes age — 31 ( April 14th 1955); Andromeda is an Aries. gender — Female

sexuality — Demisexual & Biromantic; For Andromeda, it is not about the gender of someone. What matters to her is the heart. However, the she never voiced her feelings as society had expected her to marry a pureblood man when she was younger. She may have had crushes at Hogwarts on both female and male students, but they were fleeting. She eventually found Ted and it was Ted’s warm personality that brought her to him.

patronus — Hippogriff; A proud and dangerous creature that sort of harkens back to Andromeda’s upbringing at first. She was taught to be a proud member of the Black family and develop proper skills, as well as etiquette was extremely important. Even now, Dromeda maintains a certain poise about her. Though, just as a hippogriff there is more than the danger and the properness. As the hippogriff, Andromeda is fiercely loyal and protective of the ones that she loves and have earned her trust. Andromeda would do anything to make sure that her husband and daughter are safe. Additionally, just as hippogriffs can grow to love former enemies and have their respect earned, Dromeda can too with time and understanding.

     The memory that first led to the corporal form of her patronus originally had been a memory of her braiding Cissa’s golden hair while telling her about a story she had read. However, that is no longer the memory that summons her patronus. The memory that now leds to the corporal form is the memory of seeing Ted hold Nymphodora for the first time.

boggart — Ted and Nymphodora killed by her sisters; This fear ties two things that were big for her together. Dromeda had lost her family when she had chosen her love over their ideals. It was a heartbreaking thing to deal with at such a young age and having no where to go. Ted and Nymphodora, along with Sirius, became her new and chosen family. Andromeda could not imagine losing them as it breaks her heart and she would do anything that she can to protect them. The thought of her lost family killing her new chosen one is almost too much to bear. It is this fear that causes her to be especially cautious with letting Narcissa back into her life. However, for now, she believes that Bellatrix would be the sister that she would have to worry about.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

+ Good-Hearted; A trait that one might have found hard to find in the household that she grew up in, especially when looking to her parents. She has a kindness and a compassion for others regardless of what their background is. As a healer, it is in her nature. While this trait was repressed in her younger years if expressed towards the wrong type of person, she is now more free flowing with her kindness. It still is something that she had to learn to be more okay with outwardly expressing.

+ Loyal; Fraternity is something that will always be important to Dromeda and she will always feel loyal to those that she feels it with such as her friends and family. Before she realized how wrong their ideals were, Andromeda had been fiercely loyal to her family. It had been to the point that she had ignored her cousin Sirius at first when finding out he was in Gryffindor and breaking the status quo for their family. It took better friends and better people to show her that her loyalty was misplaced and misguided back then. Now, her loyalty is with the people that deserve it such as her husband, daughter, friends, and cousin after she profusely apologized.

+ Ladylike; Since practically her birth this trait was instilled in her in order for her to become the perfect pureblood housewife. Trained from a young age, Andromeda had once been the perfect example of a lady. She was polished, proper, and polite in the necessary situations. The middle Black child has always held a very feminine beauty that is quite graceful and delicate. She knows the correct time to pause and to speak in proper company. As a proper woman, she is well educated in many things, such as fashion and culture. Andromeda always knows the right things to wear and how to act in high class situations. As a lady, she is accepting and tolerant of others. While she rejected a great deal of her family’s ideals, it does not change the posture of which she holds herself. She is charming when she needs to be and typically rather good at holding her calm when she is freaking out on the inside. That being said, when you see that she is no longer calm, it is a hint to how serious something might be.

+ Protective; When I say that Andromeda would do anything to keep Ted and Nymphodora safe, I truly mean it. She is a fiercely protective mother and wife that does put her family first. Dromeda knows that she is not always the perfect wife or mother, but she would do anything under the sun for those two. If it ever comes to it, she will fight her parents or sisters for them though it would be so disheartening for her to have to do. Her protectiveness does extend to her cousin and friends though it is not nearly as severe as her immediate family. She would do what she can to help and heal, but she would not risk her life as much as she would for her child.

- Stubborn; When Dromeda sets her mind to something, there really is no turning her away from it. She had always been this way since she as a kid. It was also why Narcissa’s letter when they were younger did not turn her away from her decision to be with Ted. Her stubbornness was certainly hard on her relationship with Ted at the beginning of their marriage because she wanted things done a certain way and had a difficult time with compromising. Even with good intentions, being obsinate can take its toll on those around her.

- Cunning; Something that ends to help that stubbornness in not having to rear its head is that good old Slytherin cunning. She knows how to get what she wants as long as the ends can justify the means. She will take advantage of opportunities, even if it means deceiving people at times. There are times when you may need to have a certain disregard for the rules in order to make sure that the end you had in mind is the one that is achieved.

- Unsure; Dromeda is troubled though she will not readily admit it. She has a hesitancy and cautiousness about plenty around her. This trait causes her to be slow to trusting others and that she something she certainly wishes that she can work on. As stated in her patronus, one must earn her loyalty though it is difficult. Not only that, but she is unsure about her decisions as a mother as well as with her family. She doesn’t ant to do that wrong thing. She wants to have Narcissa in her life again and she wants her daughter to know the love of an aunt… However, she is not entirely trusting of that situation just yet. Many times in her life, Andromeda has felt that there are many paths that she could take, but never was completely sure which one. Times that involve her family cause her to feel insecure and unconfident about her decisions because she wishes for those she cares about not to get hurt. For someone who usually has confidence in her decisions and simply not a great deal of trust in people, it is family that can shake her whether it be her chosen one or her previous one… There is a major reason she agreed that ti would be best to simply stay under the radar.

- Blunt; Having had to pretty up what she was saying to pureblood families for so long, Andromeda became rather blunt after leaving the Black family. If you need someone to give you an honest opinion, she will not try and hide it. Of course, she will voice it in the nicest manner possible. However, it will still be the straight-forward truth even if it hurts.

character biography —

      Not a star, but a whole galaxy was granted to the middle daughter of the Black family. Little did she know growing up that they gave her a galaxy in honor of her true parents. Andromeda was not born a Black though the way she held herself seems that she has always been such. Druella Black and Cygnus Black III adopted Andromeda before she was even a year old, so she knew no different life than the one that they provided for her. Though little was known about their death, her birth parents had the right friends obviously because Andromeda never wanted for anything growing and was never made to be an outsider among her sisters.

      Andromeda was a Black and she held her name with pride. The middle child was somewhere between Narcissa’s delicate grace and Bellatrix’s warrior spirit, but she did her best to keep that balance of strength and beauty. Following in the legacy of her older sister at Hogwarts, Andromeda did not disappoint. She held on to the ice queen mentality and borderline arrogance that you would expect from a woman holding the last name of Black. One of the areas she excelled in during her schooling was odd for a future wife of a follower of Voldemort; she was a healer. Yet, her parents easily dismissed the thought it could mean anything other than she will be a good wife one day. Druella insisted that due to the healing having been paired with exceptional skills for household charms that keep the house pristinely clean, a talent she had gotten from the woman herself, it was clear that Andromeda was going to be the perfect match to the pureblood they had her betrothed to.

     While her parents were determined to make sure she was set up for a perfect marriage that benefitted the family, that wasn’t something that Andromeda could see in her future. Anytime she went to a pureblood wedding, she was simply bored out of her mind and just wanted it to be over. Even during the receptions, she only danced with the pureblood boys because it was required of her and her parents were watching. She didn’t just want to be just a wife locked in a house. There had to be more than what they were expecting of her. Had these thoughts meant something was wrong with her? She was unsure. She just couldn’t imagine herself being trapped in a loveless marriage. Andromeda would never mention that; just as she would never directly tell her parents that being a wife and not working was not for her. Her greatest desire was for her to convince them to allow her to train more in healing, so she could actually do something of use instead of sitting around with the house elves and gossiping along with other pureblood women. Though her lack of desire to marry into a loveless pureblood relationship and her drive to work, she didn’t want to disappoint her parents and that’s why she kept the thoughts form them. They had provided so much for her throughout her entire life and cared about her. However, Andromeda had her own way around the arrangements that would-be set-in place that she didn’t approve of. She was a Slytherin after all… Though back then she was intelligent enough to understand that her preverbal clock is ticking on how long she can hold off her own marriage to some pureblood man, especially seeing that her older sister had been paired with one of her own.

     There is one other thing that she hasn’t mentioned to her parents that she knew would upset them more than anything related to marriage or working; Andromeda does not have the same values as she knew that they did.  She knew that she is supposed to hate muggleborns and halfbloods, but she cannot bring herself to. However, she will pretend to be distant towards any muggleborn to keep up the appearances and reputation that her family has worked so hard to create. Andromeda knew the risk if she were to bring her heart into things and mess up the reputation of the noble Blacks. The young witch had never wanted to risk losing her family. They mean the world to her… Though, there as a small issue. A muggleborn that she had met in her first year had grown on her throughout their time at Hogwarts. He was sweet, cute, and loyal. They were just friends, she swore. However, even their friendship had to remain a secret. Slowly, this Hufflepuff began to introduce her to more people that she never would have met should she had stuck in her pureblood bubble. Andromeda the once ice queen had started to melt. She made friends in secret at first, but they were friends that didn’t have a particular house or family. The freedom of it all was nice and though the rebellious part of it felt wrong. Andromeda felt as though she was keeping a secret and a part of herself away from her sisters, but she knew it was something that they wouldn’t accept.

     Fifth year… That Hufflepuff went from cute and sweet to something a bit more charming and hot. Andromeda felt her cheeks grow warm when he was near, and she couldn’t chase thoughts of him out of her mind. Her heart would race in both excitement, nervousness, and fear. She couldn’t admit that she liked someone like him. It wasn’t right even if he had weaseled his way into being her friend, the stupid honey badger. Andromeda tried to shake loose all feelings of him, and it was their fifth year that she as the coldest she ever was to him. Any secret studying was cancelled, she ignored any letters… Though, it didn’t matter because he didn’t give up on her as easily as she had wished for him to. It was an admission of his own teenage love that got her to talk to him again the end of their fifth year. That was when it happened. The typically cautious and reserved Andromeda Black said yes to dating the muggle-born wizard, Edward “Ted” Tonks.

    It was a secret that she had kept for the longest time. All of the summer before their sixth year, only their closest friends had known. Andromeda rehearsed ways that she would be able to convince her parents that he wasn’t one of the bad mudbloods and that he was a genuinely good guy. She wanted to explain to them that she could not help how endearing he is and if they met him then they would know how incredible he is too. Though anytime she felt her speech was going against what her parents believed, which was most of it, she questioned how effective it might be. Halfway through her sixth year was when everything blew up in her face. One of her sisters have heard her speaking in front of the mirror as she didn’t get a chance to before an owl was sent to her for a hidden relationship with a mudblood. Her parents typically wanted to send a howler but did not wish to expose what was going on to the public, as they were convinced that they could convince Andromeda that she was out of her right mind. They demanded she come home and speak with them. When she did, her speech that she rehearsed fell flat and sounded as though it questioned every single value that they had raised her to believe. Druella claimed she had clearly gone mad and Cygnus pointing out that Andromeda was ungrateful. The sixteen-year-old held tears in her eyes as she tried to defend what she was saying to her parents because she knew what she was saying was right. She knew that muggleborns and halfbloods were good people because she witnessed it. None of it mattered to them. Druella and Cygnus were embarrassed and wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Andromeda was kicked out of the house at sixteen. Her only crime was loving someone.

     That was when she received a letter from her younger sister, one that she immediately burned in a flurry of tears after reading. Words on the page that told her: a baby could be dealt with or left with the father. That her dating of Ted would not help her with being the most desirable, but there would still be a pureblood husband for her to take on… She wasn’t pregnant and she didn’t want to just be some good housewife. Her heart ached though because she wanted to respond so bad. She wanted to tell Narcissa that she loved her, missed her even though it hadn’t been that long. However, she also wanted to tell Narcissa about everything she learned. Her parents had been wrong. It didn’t mean that she wanted to leave them. It didn’t mean that she didn’t love them, but they had been oh so wrong. It was better to never reply. Replying would only hurt her more as she still yearned for her parents’ approval. She hadn’t meant to fall in love. She hadn’t meant to be rebellious. This moment was always something that Andromeda struggled with and something she always looks back on. Had there been a better way to handle it? Had she made the right decision?

    The rest of her six year, that summer, and holidays during her seventh year Andromeda was grateful to a friend that had taken her in. It was not one of her pureblood “friends” that she had known practically her entire life, but a friend she had made through having the open mind that Ted helped her have. The support of her newer friends and Ted didn’t change the year in a half being the hardest year that Andromeda had a Hogwarts. She was able to see Narcissa, but not be with her. She was ostracized from a great deal of her house. It was time for Andromeda to become an ice queen once more, but this time, it was towards those that once cherished her because of the Black family name. It was jarring to see how quickly all her pureblood friends and family had turned on her. Even thinking back on it can cause Andromeda to feel a tightness in her throat and her eyes to grow watery. There were a few times her seventh year that she thought about going back to her family and profusely apologizing to see if they would take her back, but that is something she kept to herself and never told anyone. Even at sixteen and seventeen, she even shakily knew that the values of her childhood were wrong… But it was so hard. Seeing Narcissa in the hallways, she wanted to run to her sister and hug her. Andromeda desperately tried to harden her heart.

     After graduation, Andromeda and Ted had moved in together. It was a rocky start and they couldn’t afford much, but she had found that he had been working the previous summer after she had been kicked out in order to give them a kick start and support them. Tears had been brought to her eyes when she realized that he was already giving so much to her. He wanted to give her a family and he wanted to be there for her. Of course, nothing was perfect their first year. They greatly struggled with finances, though his family tried to help them where they could. Andromeda’s life was still upside down. She had been once used to luxury and their place was rather dingy at best with not all the furniture that they might have wished. A mattress was in place of an extravagant bedframe. A couple cushions on the floor in place of a couch or dining room… Though that year was full of love and loyalty. Sure, there were disagreements between her and Ted though they always solved it before they went to bed. Andromeda learned not going to bed angry was a key to their strength in their relationship. During this time, they were saving up for both a better life and they wanted to save to support Andromeda’s dream of becoming a healer.

      It was that summer that they found out something rather unexpected. Andromeda was pregnant. Ted had originally wanted them to be able to live together a bit longer before getting married, but he was certainly planning on marrying her. The unexpected pregnancy at 18 was scary for the new couple, but they knew that they wanted to be the best parents that they could be. Andromeda’s dreams of training took a bit of a backseat. The couple worked together to save more money where they were able to get a small house and begin to furnish it in preparation for the baby that they were expecting. She was proud of their small cottage by the time their daughter was born. It was in this cottage that Ted and Andromeda resided while attempting to lay low during Voldemort’s reign. It was also in this cottage that Ted and Andromeda finally got married after Nymphodora was born. Of course, Andromeda made sure that her baby that was a few months old was dressed beautifully for the occasion that only a select few were invited to. It was hard as the war had already begun at the time and the Tonks’ stance on the matter was neutral. They had chosen not provide support for either side as they were not wanting to her family to be able to find them. It was her own self-preservation and for the protection of her daughter that she knew she would never regret this decision.

     During those years that she was lying low, Andromeda continued to put off her dreams of training to become a healer. Instead, she was a stay at home mom as Ted would work and provide for the family. It was something that in her Hogwarts years that she thought she wouldn’t enjoy, but for Nymphodora to be taken care of and to be safe was all that mattered for her. Those years held both extremely good and very scary memories for her. Seeing her daughter grow before her very eyes was something that she was extremely thankful for.  Those moments with her daughter are ones that she wouldn’t have traded for the entire world. Still, there were nightmares that would persist that would make her heart go still. A reoccurring dream that Bellatrix would take everything away from her because Andromeda betrayed their family. She would wake up crying with an ache in her heart. What would settle the thoughts would be to check on her beautiful baby girl that was already growing up so fast.

     In 1981, Voldemort’s reign ended and her older sister was carted off to Azkaban. It was the first time that Andromeda felt like she could actually breathe safely. Nyphadora was turning eight that year and now could have more freedoms in terms of play because Andromeda didn’t have to worry. At first, it felt odd that she didn’t have this fear looming over her. It was peaceful, nice. That first year was when she got encouraged to go back to following her dreams of having wanted to become a healer. Her daughter was three years out from going to Hogwarts and her husband had work of his own, so Andromeda finally began the steps to get trained as she had wanted so many years ago. Andromeda had been quick on her feet and the training to become a healer was rather smooth. Soon enough, she was working at St. Mungo’s. But also just as soon, she was sending Nymphodora off the Hogwarts for the first time. It was also during these years of peace that Narcissa reached out to her. Focusing on her family and her studies, Andromeda was admittedly cautious at first. She knew that Narcissa’s husband had been a Deatheater, as well as those words in the letter about sweeping a child with Ted under the rug when they were teenagers at Hogwarts were burned in her mind. However, that yearning for her family and to be close with her sister had not stopped after all the years and she decided that she would give Narcissa a chance. While she was slow to trust and she is not entirely sure where Narcissa’s head is at, she is thankful to have a relationship with her once more. What Andromeda hopes is that Narcissa will eventually be able to be a family figure in her daughter’s life, but for now she is still testing the waters.

     Andromeda enjoys her job at St. Mungo’s and is happy to care for everyone that she can. Having a teenage daughter is a bit more stressful than what she expected, and she wonders if even as a younger mother that could keep up with the best of them that she might get grey hairs prematurely. Still, Ted and Dromeda are doing their very best in raising her as they have always tried to. Though Dromeda has been noticing that the house is so quiet when Nymphodora is away at school. Her thoughts have been softly drifting to that of potentially having another child, especially during such a peaceful time as it would be a great deal easier on them. However, she has not exactly brought this idea up to her husband just yet. One thing that dampens the glow and Andromeda’s excitement of the peace is whispers that the Deatheaters may be on the move. She hopes that they are just rumors and nothing more. Bellatrix is still in Azkaban, is she not? So, hopefully, there is nothing to worry over.

plot ideas — 

+ Cissa; I definitely would love to see how the family dynamics work with Dromeda and Cissa now that they are both mothers and Narcissa had reached out to try and reconnect. I think there could be a push towards fun angst as it seems that the reaching out could have been more manipulative on Narcissa’s side and more genuine on Andromeda’s.

+ MOTHER OF A TEENAGER?! OH GOD; I think it could be fun getting into the fact that Andromeda’s daughter is now a teenager and that comes with dealing with all that teenage angst. It could be interesting for maybe mothers to ban together. Molly potentially being a good person to bond with this case as she has a bit of experience.

+ Empty Nest; Continuing on with the Nymphodora related plot ideas, I think it would be interesting to rp out Andromeda going through that whole empty nest feeling now that Nymphodora has been at Hogwarts for a couple years. It is possible that she is even feeling a little bit of baby fever as she sees some of the younger kids and misses when her daughter was that age.

+ Sirius-ly; Of course, I would love to plot and bond with Dromeda’s favorite cousin. I think that they could have cute and fun moments, especially ones where she is doting on how well he is doing with Harry.

+ A Slytherin’s Hufflepuff; Even through their ups and downs in marriage, I think that I ultimately would love soft fluff between Ted and Dromeda. It will be nice to see how no matter what their love always seems to win out.

+ Paging Dr. Tonks; I know she is a Healer and not a doctor, but stick with me. Lol. I think with this, I would like to explore the different kinds of people that she heals, and it can be open to really anyone in the rp.

+ You Picked HIM over ME?!; Another plot/connection that could be fun is a pureblood and potentially a death eater that Andromeda was betrothed to for a certain period of time before she fully picked to be with Ted.

+ Lighthouse in the Storm; I would love there to be a female character that their family took her in during the second half of her sixth year and the summer before her seventh year.

extra —

-          handwriting — She almost always writes in perfect cursive. Andromeda was taught to write cursive at a young age and very much perfected it to a t. The rare occasions that she doesn’t write in cursive, her handwriting is quite bubbly and curly almost mimicking her cursive writing. Not to mention most of her I’s are dotted with a star.

-          doodling — Dromeda doodles on all of her papers and had when she was at Hogwarts as well. She feels like when she is drawing that it helps exercise her brain. Whether the doodle is an organized drawing or random scribbles, she finds it improves her ability to focus and gives her good thoughts.

-          painful memories — Andromeda always keeps a locket around her neck. In the locket, is a picture of her and her sisters from when they were kids. Andromeda had been given this locket when she was ten and the picture had always been the same. Even after everything, she didn’t see it as right to take the picture out of the necklace. While she still doesn’t agree with them, she sometimes finds herself occasionally opening the locket and remembering how they used to be. It’s not uncommon to find her absent-mindly twirling the necklace. She has never shown her husband or her daughter what is in the necklace as it is deeply personal to her.

-          nail bitter — When she is nervous about work, Andromeda tends to bit her nails. She does not know how to habit started and does not do it often. People at St. Mungo’s know when she gets to stressed because her long and beautiful nails become a lot shorter

-          amortentia —

Water Mint: The smell of water mints reminds her of nature. The river that ran past her home had water mint plants running along its banks. While she was not supposed to be dirtying her dress in the wilderness, she still snuck off sometimes.

Unknown Smell: There is one smell of her amortentia is unidentified. Later in life, she realizes it is the smell of Ted’s aftershave. When she first realized this, she had not believed it. However, as their love developed, she fully realized why the smell of him is in her amortentia.

Old Books: It might not be believable, but Andromeda had enjoyed studying. The library was her quiet place where she can find her sanctuary to study the subjects that she enjoys very much. One day, she wants to have a small library in their home.

Crunchies: Crunchies became Dromeda’s favorite candy when introduced to her by a muggleborn friend. To her, it is the perfect combination of honey and chocolate that is absolutely divine. It even smells good on its own.

[ariesfm-blog]

            hi ! my name is link ! i go by he / they pronouns , am 21+ & live in the cst timezone ! i’m an obnoxious aries & this is my idiot , max , who also happens to be an obnoxious aries because i believe in writing what i know JHGKFDLHLF . i’m really excited to be here , because plotless slice of life rps are my thing & i’m excited to get to know all of you & write with you !!! under the cut you’ll find misc. info & some wanted connections , but here are links to his stats page & his pinterest board , which hopefully will give you some extra insight . feel free to like this if you’d like to plot .but if you wanna plot on d*scord ( which is easier for me ) you can add me @ demogorgon ramsay#0039 !

( johnny seo, cismale, he/him ) who is that ? oh, it’s just MAXWELL “MAX” BAE the TWENTY-FOUR year old has been in beauhart for HIS WHOLE LIFE and is currently a BARTENDER. i’ve heard they can be CONFIDENT and HONEST, but also IMPATIENT and BRASH. maybe that’s why their anthem is SANCTUARY by JOJI and CAFFEINE JITTERS, DIRTY CONVERSE PAIRED WITH ALIEN SOCKS, PHONE NUMBERS WRITTEN ON NAPKINS makes me think of them.

misc. info : ( cw : mentions of death & drug use )

his mother died giving birth to him. though he doesn’t remember her ( obviously ) he still holds a bit of guilt & think it’s his fault that she died. but his dad is always quick to snuff that line of thought & holds absolutely no ill will towards max about it

all he’s ever heard is good things about her so he loves her or the idea of her really. he likes to imagine himself in the stories people tell him about her & it’s a comfort to him. it makes him feel like he kind of grew up with her even though he never got to meet her

his dad is a sweet person. full of laughs & kindness. also bad jokes ( this is where max gets his own humor from ). he’s the kind of dad that people wish for. he’s always been supportive of max no matter what & he listens to him whenever he needs it

when they were little they played catch & watched yu-gi-oh together. max still has all his yu-gi-oh cards stuffed in his closet somewhere. now they’re more likely to sit on his dad’s front porch & drink together while listening to music

his dad has never dated or remarried after his wife died because that was his soulmate & he doesn’t want to settle for anyone else & his dad has always told max to find that one person for him

max was miserable in school. he wasn’t good at it & none of it made any sense to him. so he struggled in graduating high school. & he tried college but he couldn’t stand it so he dropped out thankfully with no negative feedback from his dad

he’s kind of anxious & fidgety so it’s hard for him to pay attention ( anxiety & adhd nation make some noise !!! ) but if he gets focused on a project he’ll ignore his need to eat or anything else to work on it

he picked up making drinks from his dad at a young age ( imagine a twelve year old making cocktails that’s basically how it was ) & is really good at it so naturally he became a bartender. it’s not his dream job per se but he enjoys it a lot & makes good tips from it so he has no complaints about it

basically he’s pretty happy-go-lucky but he’s also an idiot & annoying about it. he can seem friendly enough at first but once you get close to him he’ll turn up that aries personality & get on your nerves ( but he’s also like a leech & will stick to you )

he’s really into aliens. he even has a ufo tattoo ! he will fight with anyone who doesn’t believe in them ( or cryptids or the supernatural in general ). the x-files is his favorite show & he wishes to be fox mulder every day of his life. he’s also a diehard boogara

he’s a big conspiracy theorist. he believes in lizard people, the illuminati & that queen elizabeth is a cannibal & that’s how she’s stayed alive for so long. he’s very paranoid about stuff. he’s one of those people who read the terms & conditions on everything so that he doesn’t agree to some company stealing his dna & selling it on the dark web. he also refuses to pick up the phone because he thinks the government is listening in on them ( he only makes calls when he’s high & out of it )

& he loves true crime. he’s always listening to true crime podcasts & watching true crime docs

he loves energy drinks & coffee. he drinks them so much that he’s shaking about 75% of the day but he never listens when people tell him he’s gonna get a heart attack

he’s messy. his apartment is messy. his hair is messy. his entire energy is just messy. but he thinks his personality makes up for it

he can kinda cook but honestly he’s lazy & just prefers to order in food 95% of the time. also he has a bad habit of forgetting stuff like he’ll turn the oven on then get distracted then wonder what the weird smell in his place is

for the most part he’s nice but he does participate in “friendly” dragging. if you’re friends he will clown you & sometimes he can hurt someone’s feelings even when he doesn’t mean to ( more than likely he will not apologize for it he’ll just ignore it til the other person gets over it hopefully )

always losing his headphones. he settles for those crappy $5 earbuds that you find at dollar stores so he won’t feel bad for losing them anymore. honestly he loses everything. who knows how many sets of keys he’s gone through

he’s super clumsy. always tripping, always running into stuff. he’s broken a million glasses at the bar

he’s pretty flirty, pretty charming. he uses it to his advantage at the bar, draws in customers in order to get tips & phone numbers

he’s a soft thot. he’s easy to sleep with but he’s kind & caring about all his partners

he’s a really good boyfriend & he falls in love easily,  but he’s forgetful & accidentally negligent sometimes. like he’ll go days without responding to texts or checking up on people. he doesn’t mean to he just does

he loves pins, patches & colorful socks. everything he wears is covered in them. most of the things he wears aren’t even related to his interests because people just give them random things & he wears them anyway

he can never open jars his beefy arms are useless

a fan of punny humor. he’s the king of dad jokes

he’s that person who puts his legs up on the dash of the car or hangs them out the window

wishes he knew how to skateboard but doesn’t even know how to ride a bike

takes in random cats & dogs he finds on the street. sometimes he tries to find their owners & sometimes he doesn’t but it’s fine

he’s addicted to those edited audios that are like “( song ) but you’re listening to it in the bathroom at a party & you’re crying because you’re alone” & he’s obsessed with joji so of course those are his favorite 

he’s one of those pansexuals who call themselves gay constantly 

uses uwu in texts to be ironic & annoying. most of his words have w replacing certain letters to sound like a smol

he gets stoned at like three am & tries to call people & ask them stupid high people questions like “if two vegans fight is it still called beef”

he’s also never left beauheart or gone too far away. just a few cities at most. he has a bit of a stoner paranoia about it. like if he leaves the state something bad will happen to him or his dad or loved ones

he’s terrified of horror movies. especially ones with clowns. he refuses to watch them because he’s convinced that he’ll accidentally summon a demon or a ghost through osmosis or something JHGDLFKGHD

wanted connections :

rooommates ( one or two )

exes ( any gender. it can be messy or friendly. i’m willing to have max be the issue though with him it’ll always be baby issues since he’s nice & a tryhard JGHKFDHFKGFD )

hookups / fwbs ( any gender. singular experiences or regular type things )

childhood plots for those who’ve lived in beauheart ( childhood friends, first kisses / crushes, all that good stuff )

high school sweethearts

flirtationships that don’t go anywhere

one-sided crushes ( don’t mind who has the feelings ! )

mutual pining but they’re both idiots & have no idea

party buddies. conspiracy theory buddies. true crime buddies. any of these can be combined

tinder date ( it can go well or not )

frequent customers ( better yet, frequent customers that he flirts with. give me the cliche phone number on napkins plot)

maybe you don’t tip him for whatever reason & he’s had a bad day & he’s like “bro wtf”

teach him how to ride a bike KJFDHSLGJF

maybe you try to get him to leave beauheart & you have to deal with his crybaby ramblings about how something bad will happen

beef with him over the existence of supernatural things

be the person he calls at three am after eating too many edibles & deal with his stoned questions

try to make him watch a horror movie

for someone newer to town: be that person who makes a “your mom” joke & have to deal with that awkward “my mom’s dead” conversation

maybe he “accidentally” stole your cat or dog & you try to get it back but he doesn’t believe that it’s yours even though you clearly have proof

maybe you’re the person who always ends up finding the stuff he loses & you’re stuck in this constant act of returning & you’re tired of it

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, CHARLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of GONERIL. Admin Jen: You have no idea how happy we are that you’ll be bringing us Verona’s favorite firebrand, Charlie! Like you pointed out, it’s easy to write Grace off as just that -- a whirlwind of chaos and spite with nothing more to her other than that, but you’ve definitely succeeded in bringing her out of the shadow of that impression and exploring everything else that makes her shine. There is so much more to her than meets the eye, and your diligence and care when it comes to portraying that left us completely thrilled to have her flourish in your hands. We’re so glad to have you back, and we can’t wait to see what more you have in store for Grace! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Charlie

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | 5-6/10. I’m a law student and working 20 hours per week. So it’s safe to say that my rl can be pretty stressful. In addition, I like to take my time with my replies so that I can actually be satisfied with how they turned out. I’ve found in the past that it’s the easiest and most efficient for me to do replies as inspiration strikes and queue them to post every 2-3 days which I plan to do as well. However, I’m available every day almost all day long on Tumblr and Discord to chat and plot. 

Timezone | CET

How did you find the rp?  | Originally, through Jen, but this time because I’ve been a part of the group before.

Current/Past RP Accounts | may I introduce you to  https://ofbellos.tumblr.com/ and https://ofdupont.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Grace Daly aka Goneril. 

What drew you to this character? | Goneril is a character I’ve been intrigued by ever since I first stumbled across the rp. Back then, she was still a taken character so I’ve never really bothered thinking about whether I’d apply for her or not and when she was reopened, I had my fair share of characters that were keeping me busy. 

Somehow this fascination I have with her has never fully gone away, though. There’s something about her, her passion, her fierceness, how unwilling she is to be anybody but herself (and to hell with everybody who has a problem with that, quite literally, you'll probably end up dead if you insult her) that just really intrigues me. I feel like it’s easy to assume that Grace is downright crazy or doesn’t think at all about the consequences her actions might have, that she might not even have the mental capability of doing so. But while she’s definitely lead by her emotions and doesn’t fully know how to control her temper (and mostly doesn’t even want to), she doesn’t act without thinking about the consequences beforehand, very often, she acts a certain way despite having thought about it before. The ‘problem’ is that, in most cases, she simply doesn’t give a damn. She lives to provoke, to toy with the line of right and wrong and to run right through the wall that exists on that line for most people simply because she enjoys it. A part of her is eager to see just how far she can go simply because the search excites her. It’s most of the time not really about the other person (except for the times somebody managed to piss her off, which, admittedly, is not the hardest thing to do) but mostly about herself and what she wants to do. Everything else is secondary.  And quite frankly, there’s nothing that she hates more than being bored. She lives for the thrill, be it the thrill caused by a good old bar fight, killing somebody with your bare hands, a steaming hot fuck or a simple argument. And the power of winning the things listed before. In some way, everything’s a fight for her and the big thrill of life is in that fight and winning it. After all, Grace Daly is nothing if not a winner. Losing isn’t an option. However, despite what you might think at the first (or even second) glance, she’s not just all fun and games. There’s this blazing hot desire burning inside her to conquer and rule her own kingdom. I’m gonna stop right here because I’m gonna be exploring this aspect further in the future plot section. However, I definitely see these various facets Grace has to offer that are so unique to her in my eyes and I really want to explore those in greater detail. Grace is bold, loud, unapologetic, reckless and untamable all wrapped up in one fiery ball of chaos and she’s definitely a force to be reckoned with, not just despite but because of how unpredictable she is. It might have not gotten her where she wants to go so far, but that certainly doesn’t mean that there isn’t a certain kind of power in it.

She’s so unlike any other character I’ve ever truly played before and that’s one of the many reasons why I actually thought long and hard about whether to apply for her or not. She’ll be quite the challenge for me, I’m not ashamed to admit that, but part of the reason why I’m still so into rping after all these years is the desire to challenge myself and hopefully become a better writer in the end. Grace Daly will without a hint of a doubt be a challenge for me, but I’m so ready for that. Also, her uniqueness compared to other characters I’ve played - even characters I’ve already written here in DV - makes it possible for me to explore other plots, connections, and interactions I haven’t gotten to explore before which really excited me as well.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | 

I’ve added some future plot points that are more ideas than already thought out plots which I’ve called ‘ideas’ instead of ‘plots’. For a better understanding and cohesiveness, I’ve mixed them together so that they fit contentwise, I hope it isn’t too confusing. If it is, I want to apologize in advance. 

PLOT 01

The Daly Sisters own a huge space of my heart when it comes to this rp. There dynamic is so unlike any other in the rp and, quite frankly, I cannot wait to sink my claws into that. I’d really love a family face-off, especially between Regina and Grace. After all, one of the reasons why Grace joined the Montagues in the first place - even if she’d never admit it out loud - is the fact that little, boring Regina got promoted to Captain by Cosimo after spending only a blink of an eye with the Capulets. She never earned her name the way Grace did, she did nothing to deserve it. And you can be dead sure that once word got out that Regina has been promoted to the position of a hitman - and sooner or later Grace would have found out, nothing stays secret in Verona forever -, she’d have been fuming. It’s just another promotion she doesn’t deserve. And here Grace is working her ass off - Grace Daly style, obviously - and has nothing to see for it. Actually, fuming would be a nice word. So yeah, I feel like a sisterly confrontation is overdue in Grace’s eyes. If you can’t ignore an annoying bug, you have to squash it to finally get rid of it. And Regina Daly is a bug Grace has been dying to step on for quite some while now. She tried to ignore her when she was younger, forget all about her existence in the first place, but apparently, that’s not an option anymore. So yes, I can totally see a sisterly face-off happen in the near future because sneaky scheming and planning to get rid of somebody isn’t really Grace’s style. She tends to rely on sheer brutality and cruelty and wouldn’t it be quite poetic to have one last fight to finally set an end to this argument (idk if you can even call it that cause I’m pretty sure Regina doesn’t give a damn about Grace)? Grace at least would love the poetry of it.

IDEA 01

This idea is related to the first plot in some way. It’s pretty established in her bio that Grace has never been willing to give her two younger sisters the time of day and would like to forget that she’s ever shared a home, not to mention blood ties with them. However, I want to explore just how deep this disinterest goes. I know for a fact that she wouldn’t shy away from killing Regina in cold blood. However, what about Catherine? Is there some small inkling in the dark hole that is her heart that does care for her? I’m not sure, but I want to find out. At the same time, I also want to explore if there’s actually a person (apart from herself) that she cares for or rather cares enough about enough to sacrifice? I don’t know if there’s a positive answer to that question, even though Grace is only human, after all, and it’s in the human nature to want to be connected to other people, but I just want to explore this question further.  

IDEA 02

If I cannot bend Heaven, I’ll raise Hell. Even though you wouldn’t necessarily suspect it, Grace is ambitious as they come. Blame it on her parents for always treasuring her like grace from God, telling her she can everything she sets her dark eyes on, but she’s always known that she’ll be a queen an empress one day. And she won’t stop at anything to get her way. So far, she’s had very little success, though. After all, despite having been involved with the mob for years now, she’s still nothing more than a soldier, a little pawn in the game of others.  While I’m not sure if she’d make a good ruler (in fact, I know the opposite is the case), she’s definitely a conqueror. Or has the potential to be once she figures out how to make the best use of the anger, passion, and fire that runs through her veins. She’s smart enough to figure it out. After all, as it’s already said in her bio “Every move she made was calculated, every strike meticulously aimed”. She definitely has the mental capacities for it. I think her biggest problem is that she needs to learn how to control her emotions and not have them influence her moves and the goal of her plans as they do now. However, learning is hard (read: almost impossible) when you’re as self-conceited as Grace is. I want to explore that struggle further, this dissonance of ambition & desire and her temper & boisterousness. 

PLOT 02 a

This plot is related to the second idea. 

If you can’t learn how to balance out your own strengths, you either need to accept that you might never reach your goal or team up with somebody who can provide what you’re lacking. The first one is clearly no option and the second one is not exactly the first thing that comes to your mind considering we’re talking about Grace either. After all, Grace isn’t really much of a team player either for she’s too selfish for that, not to mention too unpredictable, unreliable and many other things. However, I want her to seak out a partnership nonetheless. This is not to say that she’ll suddenly turn into a team-player or people person all of a sudden - hell no. No, it’d be a play really. It’d mostly be an idea born out of an alcoholic haze, nothing that serious at first. It’d be with somebody, who’s about just as desperate as she is to get to the top, and a partnership that is already doomed for a start because she plans to get rid of them as soon as the situation improves for her. She sure as hell doesn’t plan for one second to share the spotlight, they’ll just be a tool in some way. Not because she’d be manipulating them into thinking that she sees it as a real partnership, she’s no schemer, after all. No, they’d get into this with both eyes open and be ambitious enough to do it nonetheless, probably even thinking to cut her loose the first chance they get as well.  

PLOT 02 b

As it’s kind of a second part of the second plot, I wanted to split those up.

I could totally see the previously mentioned partnership turn into something of a cat and mouse kinda game. It’d actually be quite intriguing to see somebody to challenge her directly and on a personal level for a change because while the whole thing would still be somewhat mob-related, it’d be more focused on the power they’ve gathered together and that both of them wants the biggest piece of. Or rather the only piece without having to share it with the other person. It’d need to be somebody who’d be her equal, who could handle themselves around her, but then again, if they couldn’t, this partnership would have never seen the light of day in the first place. I want Grace to face a challenge/challenger she can’t get rid of that easily. I want her having to face them again and again, simply because they’re both too stubborn to die and to give up what they’ve earned. 

PLOT 03

This plot goes a little hand in hand with the previous plot, but I felt it still deserved a plot point on it’s own as it’s related to her connection with Ivan Rahal in particular.

Whereas Grace is chaos come to live and craves power above all, Ivan is a master chess player who craves chaos and destruction above all. It’s an unlike combination and yet one, that causes fear and terror among Verona’s citizens unlike any other for their united in their darkness and their thirst for blood. I feel like there’s so much Grace could learn from him and his talent for strategy. She wouldn’t ever ask for help nor would she want to change, after all, she’s perfect the way she is. Nonetheless, I want her to observe Ivan more closely, to study the way he thinks and does things, to get a feel for how he operates. I highly doubt she’d be able to employ these tactics for her own goals simply because she’s disciplined enough for that, but I feel like it’d be a valuable lesson for her nonetheless? 

PLOT 04

I feel like it’s only a question until her treacherous past truly catches up to her. After all, so far, she’s gotten away with turning her back on the Capulets to join the enemy’s ranks pretty easily. I mean she’s still alive and relatively unharmed which is more than most people could say in the same situation. Of course, she’s under the Montagues’ protection, but even that doesn’t have the same weight in every part of Verona. Knowing Grace’s recklessness and her tendency to live dangerously, she doesn’t shy away from Capulet territory. Probably even provokes them when she feels like it simply because she can (and because it makes her feel powerful). So it’s only a question of time until she gets into a situation where she has to pay for what she’s done. Unlike Grace, I’m not narcissistic enough to assume that she’s the Capulets’ main agenda, however, especially in combination with the connection with Vivianne provided in her bio (so I could def see Vivianne playing a role in that one way or another, maybe even assigning somebody to take care of her? Maybe even Regina which would kind of fit together nicely with Plot 01), I do think that this is still a topic worth exploring. After all, the Capulets won’t just forgive and forget. 

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes. With her recklessness and ability to piss off the people around her, I feel like it’s only a question of time until Grace is killed, not a question of if. 

IN DEPTH.

mentions of graphic violence tw

Carelessly she flicks the cigarette against her chair, her lips curled up into an amused smirk and her long legs draped on the table in front of her. Grace Daly has never been one to give a damn about the rules of properness and she sure as isn’t going to start now just because everybody around her does it. Just because, apparently, there some things you simply “have” to do, especially when being in a lion’s den. Idioti. No, following the rules is something reserved for sheep, people who aren’t bold enough to make decisions for themselves. And Grace Daly is most certainly not a sheep nor is she scared of anything or anybody. Fear? She laughs in the face of fear. It’s not like she’s stupid. Even though it doesn’t look like it, she’s perfectly aware of how dangerous this situation can be for her. How she might not make it out of here alive. The sheer thrill of it causes the adrenalin to rush through her veins, the smirk on her lips to grow just a little more intense. Other people might sit on the edge of their seats, all fidgety and nervous. Not just because of the fact that she’s currently meeting who’s supposed to enemy nr. one, but also because this meeting alone is enough to paint her as a traitor in the eyes of some people. But not Grace. Oh hell no. No, it takes more to get under her skin. Besides, it’s not like she asked for this meeting. No, Damiano Montague reached out to her, invited her. And well, who was she to refuse, even if meeting with him for any other reason to put a bullet between his eyes might be enough reason to some to try put a bullet between her eyes? Turning down the invitation would have been plain stupid. However, not for the reason most people might believe. No, it wasn’t fear that made her accept the invitation, It was sheer ambition. Fuck rules of decency and properness, fuck the rules of the mob if they’re getting in the way of what she wants. After all, when has she ever not taken what she wanted the instant she wanted it, no matter what it takes? Her teeth and ambitions are bared now more than ever, after having her potential ignored in favor of her younger, colorless sister. If it takes a swim to the other side, to change that situation, it’d be stupid to turn down the opportunity. 

Her head slightly tilted to the right, her dark eyes are focused on the man in front of her, eying him attentively. It’s quite ironic really how he looks nothing like Cosimo Capulet and exactly like him at the same time. There’s this air of confidence - arrogance really - surrounding him, the charisma of somebody who’s used to getting what he wants, who’s demanding it really. It takes only one look at him to know he doesn’t take well to being turned down. Not that she gives a damn. If he doesn’t offer her a deal she’s interested tonight, Grace won’t feel obligated in any way. Hell, if things don’t go the way she wants (and quite frankly, expects) them to, she might just try to ram or throw the knife she always has with her, hidden in her left boot, into his trachea. If she returns to the other side of the Adige with Damiano Montague’s blood on her hands - literally -, they just have to promote her to Captain at least. Better even, kiss her ass for quite some while. The smirk already gracing her lips grows just a little bit bigger at the thought of his face slowly losing all its color, the desperate death rattle of a dying man, maybe even some pleas for mercy. Somehow this turn of events would be almost just as nice as what she actually came here to do. So whatever is going to happen next, she knows she’ll come out of this little meeting with one sort of advantage in her hands. So much for Grace Daly being incapable of having a plan b.

Without taking her eyes of the mob boss in front of her - direct eye contact is important, after all, to assert dominance and to show that she isn’t the slightest bit afraid of him-, she stubs the cigarette on the wooden table, not giving a damn whether it’d leave a burn mark or not. After all, it’s not her table, is it? “Va bene, vecchio mio, how about you go ahead and make your offer?”, she says, her lips curled into a wolfish grin, “I don’t have all day, after all. Got some disloyal couriers I need to care of.”  Oh, the irony talking about disloyalty and treachery while she’s currently committing treason herself. It’s not wasted on her, that’s for sure, quite the opposite, really, it’s highly appreciated. The thought that the Capulets have no idea what might be coming for them, made this little meeting all so sweeter. Would serve them right for ignoring her potential.

___

murder tw

Leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed before her chest, she just stands there for a moment, her eyes focused on Ivan, the corners of her mouth curled up into a lazy half-smirk. “Looks like you have the luck of having the best partner possible today”, she says as she pushes herself away from the frame and heads towards him. From everybody else, these words would have been meant as a joke and yet, even though there’s a slightly amused, teasing intonation to them, she’s dead honest. She might not have been a part of the Capulets for as long as other members, but Grace still knows she’s better than a lot of them. At his slightly amused “and I assume that special one is supposed to be you”, she gives him a little smirk and shrugs her shoulders just slightly. “What can I say? It’s not arrogant if it’s true.” Not that she’d care either way. Caring about what other people think of you is something reserved for pathetic people who aren’t sure of themselves. And she most certainly doesn’t belong in that category. “Sei pronto?” The little smirk still present on her lips, she puts the hand on the gun on her left hip. As a little extra backup, there’s a knife safely stored in the right back pocket of her jeans, hidden by her leather jacket. “Sí.” She’s ready in every possible meaning, eager to, hopefully, get her hands on some real action. Sure, this mission isn’t supposed to turn violent. It’s only planned as some sort of check-up meets interrogation to find out if the rumors are true and they’ve really gone behind their back and are dealing with the enemy. But then again, you could never know how they’d react to this checkup, right? And a girl could still hope, after all. 

Slowly but self-assured they head straight towards the building that, their silhouettes one with the shadows of the containers. Every now and signal horns of approaching container ships disturb the silence, but apart from that, there’s complete silence. It’s quite peaceful, actually, she can’t help but notice and at the irony, the hint of a smile sneaks onto her lips. It’s so peaceful that nobody would expect the attack that is going to happen within a few minutes. Which, frankly, makes it even more fun. There’s nothing quite like taking something wholesome and peaceful and turning it upside down. Judging from the information they got, it’s gonna be a relatively easy job from the information they got. Three people top, most likely only lightly armed. They aren’t expecting an interrogation not to mention an attack any time soon, it’ll be like taking candy from a child.

After exchanging another glance with Ivan, she kicks the door open. “Ciao, stronzi.”Charming as ever, she flashes a wolfish grin at them. If they wanted somebody who’s all polite and diplomatic, they wouldn’t have paired Ivan up with her and so she sees no need to be anybody but her usual, charming self. However, for now, she lets Ivan take charge of the conversation. It’s more his style anyway. She prefers to stand there leaning against the door - these fuckers better don’t assume they could get past her - and casually playing with her knife as not that subtle thread while she attentively observes the interaction, ready to jump into action at any howsoever small, wrong movement. 

It doesn’t take long, only a few questions to realize that their source was right, these bastardi are trying to cheat them out of their profit. They realize almost as quickly that their cover has blown as Ivan and she do and pull their guns. Too bad it’s only almost. Without thinking about twice, Grace throws her knife, aiming right at the left guy’s forehead. Ivan reacts just as quickly, taking out the other guy with one unerring shot. Everything happened so quickly, that it takes her a moment to fully process what just happened. Completely collected on the outside, she stares at the dead body in front of her with some morbid curiosity. Even though she’s already seen her fair share of dead bodies ever since having joined the Capulets, it’s the first time she’s responsible for one. It’s an intriguing feeling, really. A part of her is well aware of she should feel at least some sort of regret or guilt. And yet, there’s nothing of that crap on her mind. The only thing she feels is excitement and satisfaction. It felt good to bury that knife between his eyes before he could even fully realize what was about to happen, it still does, to be honest. Slowly she steps closer to the corpse and pulls the knife out of it without flinching. She’s never been afraid of blood and she most certainly isn’t going to start that now. If anything there’s something quite satisfying about seeing your work in all its unholy glory. Is this what it feels like to be God? This rush of power of having just ended one life simply because you chose to do so? For a moment longer, her eyes are focused on the body, eying it almost thoughtfully, before she turns back around to Ivan. “Well, this didn’t exactly turn out as planned”, she says, the hint of a smile in the corners of her mouth betraying her words. “Too bad we didn’t get to question them further before blowing their brains out, though. The info whether they decided to cheat on us all of a sudden on their own or were instigated by somebody else wouldn’t have been the worst to have.” It’s not like she particularly cares about the answer, what this answer could have gotten her recognition wise is the much more interesting question. Ah well, what’s done is done. She shrugs slightly as she wipes the blood of the knife on her jeans before putting it back into the back pocket. “Let’s go check out if we can find some more information on what these idiots were up to. Maybe they were stupid enough to store some important documents here that give us a better idea of how far this whole little boycott goes and if other business partners of us are involved.” Eliminating two traitors might be useful and a nice accomplishment, but it’s not enough for her. No, she seeks something more impressive to bring back to the headquarters. After all ‘nice’ accomplishments, didn’t exactly allow you to climb higher on the mob’s hierarchy, won’t get her the recognition she deserves and craves.

___

 Everett Craven - Emissary. Easton Craven - Captain. And darling Regina promoted as well.  Even hours later, her fingers grab the glass of Scotch in her hands more firmly, the knuckles from the pressure she exerts, the rest of her body just as tense. Honestly, if this was one big fucking joke it wasn’t remotely funny. And despite her rather unique, wicked sense of humor she could usually see a joke for what it is. Although it had to be one - it’d be the only explanation that made some sort of sense -, she knows it’s not. It’s the fucking reality that everybody, who so much as breaths, gets a fucking promotion. Hell, even on the Montague side, promotions are a dime a dozen and everybody gets one. A dry, sarcastic laugh dies in her throat before she can get it out. Everybody but her that is. It seems like no matter what she does, it’s just not good enough. Like she’s nothing but a slightly tamed but rabid dog you can’t fully control but the perfect tool for threatening and intimidating your enemies. The one you send out to do all the dirty, bloody, disgusting work nobody else is willing to get their hands dirty on. She takes a sip of her drink, the burning sensation of the liquor running down her throat is a welcome distraction and yet, it isn’t nearly enough to burn away the frustration. And she does what they want like the good dog she, apparently, is. Does jobs nobody else would want to do if they don’t have a choice, just to prove her worth. Follows orders, even though somebody like Henry Zhang - the thought of her Captain is enough to roll her eyes - really couldn’t handle her under any other circumstances. Plays nice with men like Faron Vasilev just to get in his good graces and have him speak out for her. Even now she can still smell his cologne, the air of arrogance and entitlement surrounding men like him. It tastes sour in the back of her mouth, her. Maybe she should have tried sleeping with him while she still had the chance, seemed to have worked out perfectly for that puta Calina, after all. She even plasters a (more or less) friendly smile she plasters on her face every time Damiano walks past her and keeps her mouth shut, even when they talk bullshit. Her stomach twists and turns. They could drop dead this instant for all she cares and yet, she still plays nice. 

And for what? A small part of her mind that is still capable of thinking straight knows that she might just haven’t been a part of the Montagues long enough to earn the position of Captain. Castora has been a Montague for longer than her, it’s true. But Damiano wanted her. With one loud, shrieking noise, a glass breaks into a million shards as Grace throws it against the wall, not giving a damn if its ember content ruins the wall. He invited her personally into the fold and she deigned to accept that invitation. And yet, she’s still left with nothing. Maybe she really should have slit his throat right there during that meeting that promised to be a turning point. Frowning just slightly, her lips curled up into a sneer, the drops of liquor on the wall turning into crimson red bloodstains in her mind. She could have painted the walls red with mighty Damiano’s blood. She should have. That at least ought to have earned her a promotion with the Capulets. And yet, she’d resisted, had believed the stronzo’s golden lies of how they could achieve something great together, of how he could offer her more than Cosimo ever could. She’d known that he couldn’t make her Captain right away, that wasn’t how things worked. Anybody, who’d promoted somebody who’d only just been accepted into the fold (not to mention from the opposing side) was plain stupid, Grace understood that. But hasn’t she waited long enough now? Isn’t it time for her patience and hard work to finally be rewarded? And instead, she simply gets overlooked again. 

It’s not the first time she’s been overlooked, she should be used to it by now. She used to be the center of their parents’ universe, until her younger sisters - it’s an insult really, not a term of endearment -, took it away from her. After all, ever since darling Cat came into the world with her blonde locks and angelic nature, their father would choose the younger over her, dote on her instead of always on her like he used to. Memories of a little Cat, innocence come to life, run through her mind and she scowls. Her sweetness tastes like acid on her tongue, always has. And Regina took away the recognition and respect of the Capulets. The thought of her passionless, disinterested attitude alone is enough for her body to tense up and yearn for something else to punch bloody. How can somebody be so bland and yet so successful? Grace has always been fire and action and still, no matter how intense and destructive her fire, Regina’s hollowness seems to swallow it whole. If she ever felt a small flicker of sisterly love it’s long gone, she should have killed both long ago. Should have drowned them both like you did with unwanted puppies and kittens. Being overlooked is certainly nothing new so she really should be used to it by now. And yet, it hurts all the same, the sting of rejection, of not being good enough or enough, really. Whatever she does, she always gets overlooked for somebody else. For somebody who doesn’t want it nearly as much as she does. Who wouldn’t be as a great fit for the position as she would. She knows she can do better than all of them, why won’t anybody see it? Why won’t anybody see her for the potential that she has to offer?

For a time, it seemed like Damiano Montague saw it, saw her. That he would value her like the Capulets never did. And now she knows how wrong she’s been. Red painted lips twist into a sneer as she forgoes the thought of getting another glass and grabs the bottle instead. One sip, then another. She could empty the whole bottle, drink herself into oblivion and the liquor still couldn’t wash away the all-consuming feeling of humiliation cutting through her intestines like a hot burning iron. How utterly stupid she’d been. If she’s completely honest, it hurts almost just as much as the disappointment and rejection that she’s partially to blame for her misery. She should have been smart enough to see through Damiano’s empty promises. Eyes focused on the wall in front of her, she glares a hole. One rapid breath, another, her body tensing with every single one - then she punches it, only barely noticing the dull pain quickly spreading from the via the arm to her shoulder or the sting of the bloody, torn open knuckles. She should have at least thought in greater detail about how her chances at a promotion, at validation, are, if she stayed with the Capulets. After all, if colorless, hollow Regina managed to get two promotions, it should be out of the question that she would have made it to Captain during that time. She needs to believe she would have. Her stomach slumps at the mere prospect of not having made the cut either way. No, everything else is unacceptable. And yet, despite priding herself on her cleverness, she allowed herself to be blinded her own and ambition. It’d felt so good to be seen, to have your potential and talent acknowledged, to be recognized for what difference you could make if you changed the teams, that she’d gladly taken the opportunity offered to her on a silver platter. The Capulets never valued her, so why should she burden herself with them if somebody else could offer her the opportunity to finally rise to the station she knows she deserves? Her eyes fixed on the mess she just created - the shards, her bleeding knuckles, the ruined wall - she can’t hold back cynical laughter any longer. It’s too much of a representation of the rest of her life. After all,  as it now turns out, neither do the Montagues really see and value her. She desperately wants to say that it’s their loss, that it’ll be their own ruin. And it probably will be. But if she’s completely honest, right now, it is her loss. She’s the one who has to deal with the humiliation of having switched sides for nothing. To have made a traitor of herself for nothing. To have started again from scratch basically for absolutely nothing. 

Extras:

A Mockblog can be found here. Pls ignore the ugliness, I couldn’t be bothered to make it fancy as I’d only use it to reblog stuff from if I should get accepted anyway.

You can find a pinterest board here.

MB Type: ESTP-A - The Entrepreneur

Eneagram Type: Type 8 - The Challenger (81%)                            Type 3 - The Achiever (61%)

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Evil

The Four Temperaments: Choleric

Archetypes: Rebel (56%) - The Wild Woman, The Criminal & The Rebel                      Explorer (22%) - The Adventurer & The Explorer                      Royal (22%) - The Excecutive, The Bully & The Greenvy

[yjsangjun-blog]

                       𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖌 — 𝖇𝖆𝖊𝖐 ‘𝖘𝖆𝖒’ 𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖏𝖚𝖓.

hi hello. i’m cait, i’m 25, i go by she/her pronouns and i live in cst! i am a hot mess who loves causing her characters pain & angst…. i also love ruining their lives on a daily basis.

this is my babe sangjun who’s a lil bit messy ( much like most of my characters ) and you can find basic stats / bullet point bio / basic personality info / basic plot ideas & stuff like that for him under the cut! if you want more in depth info message me bc honestly this intro post is … oof !!! it’s also kinda long so lemme apologize for that as well !!!

but i am super excited to be here and i can’t wait to plot with ya’ll & love your babies !!!! if you’d like to plot, please feel free to IM me on here, ask for my discord or like this post & i’ll come to you !!!

tw: mentions of alcohol / alcoholism, drugs / drug abuse, bullying & violence.

                                         BASIC INFO ( PT 1. )

FACECLAIM: min yoongi + suga + rapper. CHARACTER NAME: baek 'sam' sangjun. PRONOUNS: he/him. GENDER: cismale. AGE/BIRTHDAY: twenty-six. + june eleventh. ZODIAC SIGN: gemini. ROOM: haean + 2e.

                                           OTHER INFO

POSITIVE TRAITS: determined, hard-working, charismatic & adventurous. NEGATIVE TRAITS: hedonistic, short-tempered, impulsive & blunt. OCCUPATION: bouncer at club arena / underground fighter. ( future ceo ) SONG THAT DESCRIBES THEM: i'm not sorry - dean. HOW LONG HAVE THEY LIVED AT THE YUJAEN?: six years. FOUR MUSE AESTHETICS: leather jackets, bruised knuckles, blurry evenings, late night snack runs.

                                      BASIC INFO ( PT 2. )

full name: baek sangjun. nickname(s): sam, san, jun. hometown: seoul, south korea current location: yongsa, south korea. ethnicity: korean. nationality: korean. gender: cismale. pronouns: he/him/his. orientation: pansexual. occupation: bouncer / underground fighter. language(s) spoken: korean, english, japanese, spanish, french, chinese.

                                PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

face claim: min yoongi. ( suga ) of bts. hair color: frequently changes, currently platinum blonde. eye color: brown with a small hazel ring. height: 5'10". weight: 169. build: athletic. tattoos: he’s got a few stick-n-poke tattoos scattered across his body, though most aren’t visible when he’s wearing clothing. piercings: these, double helix in left ear & tongue.

                                             HEALTH.

physical ailments: alcoholism, allergies, drug abuse, lactose intolerance. neurological conditions: back pain / muscle spasms, carpal tunnel. allergies: shellfish, pollen, mold. sleeping habits: all over the place, usually tosses & turns for a while before falling asleep. rarely gets more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night. eating habits: horrible, relies on fast-food & take-out most of the time. loves 'comfort foods’. exercise habits: goes to the gym at least three times a week, less if he’s been in back-to-back fights. body temperature: hotnatured. addictions: alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, gambling, sex. drug use: frequent. alcohol use: frequent.

                                       PERSONALITY. ( PT 1. )

label: the cataclysmic. positive traits: determined, hard-working, charismatic & adventurous. negative traits: hedonistic, short-tempered, impulsive & blunt. fears: heights, flying, confined spaces, drowning, commitment. hobbies: arcade games, astronomy, billiards, board games, boxing, card games, comic books, cooking, motorcycles, poker, reading, video games, weight training, yoga. habits / quirks: believes in demonic possession, believes in ghosts & spirits, believes in karma, carries a 'lucky’ item with him everywhere, fights for animal rights, fights for gender equality, fights for human rights, fights for the legalization of cannabis, fights for marriage equality, meditates, always has change in his pockets, owns an outrageous amount of shoes, counts stairs, experiences episodes of depression, boxes, collects packs of playing cards, doodles on everything, gardens, loves board games, paints, plays with fire, plays poker, plays video games, randomly wanders around when bored, sings well.

                                               FAVORITES.

season: fall. color(s): army green, black, red, gray. music: all genres, doesn’t care for country. movies: action, comedy, horror, suspense. sport(s): hockey, basketball, baseball. beverage(s): whiskey, soda. food: comfort foods. animal: dogs.

                                                    FAMILY.

father: baek jaejin, sixty, ceo. mother: baek chansook, fifty-four, ceo. sibling(s): younger sibling, nineteen. children: n/a. pet(s): a siamese cat named ramen ( back at home with his parents ), a bengal cat named shiva ( back at home with his parents ) & a seven month old austrailan sheppard puppy named indy ( lives with his sibling. ) family’s financial status: upper class.

                                                   EXTRAS.

mbti: entp-a. ( the debater ) enneagram: type 8. ( the challenger ) temperament: choleric. hogwarts house: slytherin. moral alignment: chaotic neutral. primary vice: wrath. primary virtue: diligence. element: fire.

                                                BIOGRAPHY.

born in seoul, south korea.

parents were very well known ceos, both running very successful corporations.

and of course, they wanted sangjun to follow in their footsteps.

parents were pretty strict and didn’t really allow him to do well.. anything.

however, they did buy him whatever he wanted and spoiled him in that way.

and due to both of those things combined, he started to rebel at a really young age. ( i’m talking like 10 )

so he’d sneak out, graffiti people’s houses and break things and the likes.

never got caught for it, though, knowing that if he did his parents would have kicked him out and probably disowned him for his behavior.

but one of the reasons he never got caught being a rebel was the fact he was bringing straight a’s in school, was always the very top of his class and from his parent’s perspective? he was a model child.

however, he hated that, hated having to live under his parent’s shadows and be this cookie-cutter version of himself they wanted him so desperately to be.

but he played it off, juggling the 'angel’ side of him with the rebellious tendencies that continued to grow worse and worse with each passing year.

god, high school was so different, though. he’d rebel more and more every single day, pushing the limits of getting caught.

however, word got out pretty quickly about just how wealthy his family was and kids started to bully sangjun for it, causing his anger to get the better of him until he lashed out so bad it landed one of those bullies in the hospital for copious amounts of injuries.

of course, his parents were pissed. grounded him for a solid month and in that time, he learned each and every way he could sneak out of his house at night, wandering the streets of seoul at all hours.

one of those nights he happened to run into a group of people who also went to his school, but instead of them bullying him for whatever reason, they commended him on standing up for himself like he had & told him there was a way to let out the pent up aggression that ended up sending a kid to the hospital.

his curiosity was lit up that night, eager to figure out what the hell they were talking about and a few days later, he was introduced to a scene that’d become far more intoxicating that anything he’d ever experienced before.

underground fighting. no rules, no shadows he had to live under, tons of money for each win under his belt? it was the life he never knew he wanted, but the second he got a taste of it, he wanted more.

so those late night strolls turned into him sneaking out of the house only to meet up with his new group of friends, all of which were clad in full black outfits .. traveling to some random person’s basement ( or abandoned buildings of numerous kinds ) only for sangjun to be able to release every single bit of pent up aggression he carried out on some stranger who’d never remember his name.

his parents? they were just as clueless as before, though, sam continuing to excel in school as well as his fights so much so that he found the perfect balance.. learned how to hide the scrapes and bruises from his mother & father all while continuing to be the top of his class.

not to mention he was juggling all of that and his acting career all at once, trying to hide certain things from his parents and the rest of the world because he knew it’d ruin his reputation.

however, due to the amount of stress that sat upon sam’s shoulders on a daily basis, he let himself slip up on his 21st birthday, parents stumbling into his apartment only to catch him drunk & high with a bunch of strangers surrounding him.

it was a moment he’d been scared of his whole life, worried his parents would just disown him right then and there...

but in all honesty? it was the most freeing night of sam’s life.

he didn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t anymore, didn’t have to pretend to be a pure and innocent little thing who never did anything wrong. didn’t have to live up to the high expectations he’d set for himself so many years ago and god, he was hooked.

his parents not disowning him and continuing to pay for everything he wanted only fueling him to continue the downward spiral, living his life to the fullest, doing whatever the hell he wanted to... whenever the hell he wanted to.

                                      PERSONALITY. ( PT 2. )

hides behind a wall of sarcasm, cockiness, anger and lust.

doesn’t really care to get to know people and had a tendency to push people away before they get too close to him. ( though it’s all a ruse. )

wears glasses to read and mess w computers, but hates them a lot and probably won’t wear them if people are around.

has two different wardrobes, one for when he’s around his parents. that consists of suits & dressy attire. and then one for when he isn’t that consists of ripped jeans, t-shirts, sweats & everything in between.

is …. stubborn as hell and refuses to ask for help with anything.

his motorcycle is literally his baby ??? like he ?? has a problem ??

fluent in a lot of languages, picked them up so that he didn’t need translators at his parents meetings and the likes.

lowkey worried that people will figure out that he’s actually v scared & stressed on the inside because that’ll cause him to start having to deal with his feelings, and he doesn’t wanna do that.

is the biggest flirt you will ever meet?? like if he’s speaking to you… its usually flirty as hell unless it has to do w business ( both his parents & his fights ) or he’s just known you for centuries ?

will try to get everyone to go to bars n parties with him because that’s his life in a nutshell ??

drinks..heavily..  like every night?? it’s a problem tbh.

nerd on the inside though like owns so many comic books, loves to play video games, read books, plays piano.. loves to sketch, paint & the likes.

he cares… god he cares so much about people and the world but he pretends to hate everything because it’s easier than letting people in.

full of horrible and cheesy pick up lines and jokes and frequently texts people said pick up lines and jokes.

owns a book that is full of nothing but blank pages and keeps it on his coffee table because he ‘relates’ to it.

is a highkey hoe but he tries to keep it on the dl ( he fails… miserably. )

super into fitness as it’s a way to keep him away from drinking every evening. ( that doesn’t work for him tho, oof.. )

also has bruised knuckles 24/7 & some other injuries he gets from his fights, plays it off like he’s just clumsy.

anger issues af. needs to get them in check.

actually super kind and caring once you’re able to see get past his wall?? which is really hard tbh but if you’re able to? he’s so loyal and caring it’s unreal.

has a bad habit of smoking whenever he’s stressed out, which is usually all of the time so he smokes…. more than he should ( though he won’t admit to being stressed out,,,,, ever in his life. )

highkey into cuddling and all the cute shit like that but would literally never tell a soul because then they’d see that he isn’t the ‘hardass’ he pretends to be on a daily basis.

is a burnt cupcake who has 'decent’ intentions but has extremely horrible execution skills.

                                                 PLOT IDEAS.

bad influence. ( on your muse. )

best friends.

childhood friend.

competition.

confidant.

cousin.

current hook up(s).

drinking buddies.

drunken hook up.

enemies that used to be friends.

enemies.

exes who ended on bad terms.

flirtationship.

frenemies.

friendly competition.

friends that used to be enemies.

friends with benefits.

good influence. ( on sangjun. )

hate sex.

one night stand(s). ( past & present. )

partner in crime.

party buddies.

past hook up(s).

ride or die.

social media friends.

trouble makers.

unlikely friends.

[mizucell]

Hey did anyone order some truth? No? Well here's some free truth. And some emotion.

1. Otherkin. No matter what kind of kin you are, that is not your gender. Kin pronouns are stupid.

2. Otherkin again. If you have a tail, wings, anything that could possibly get in the way, LEARN TO KEEP THEM OUT OF THE WAY OF EVERYONE ELSE. DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT IF YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO KEEP YOUR SHIT PUT UP.

3. Ah, those wonderful fat acceptance people. Fat acceptance is stupid. Being fat is scientifically proven to be unhealthy. Ya look disgusting. Get a life.

4. Certain types of feminists that seem to have once characterized this wasteland of a social platform. You can indeed be sexist towards men, and it is very not cool. Everyone deserves to be EQUAL. Women are not superior. Men are not inferior. Everyone's great and special in their own way!

5. Oh boy my own kind, trans people. Look. Getting misgendered sucks, I know. But you know what? You don't need to be rude if it was honestly a little slip-up. Just calmly and gently remind the person of your pronouns (which SHOULD be he/him, she/her, or they/them imo) and they should apologize. In the case they don't, and instead decide to truly invalidate you, go sicko mode all you want, honey.

6. UwU soft bois (aka transtrenders). If you're offended by this term, I'm talking to you. You don't need to pretend to be trans for attention. You can do so many more productive things to catch people's eye, like maybe art. Art of any form is like !! Wow!! Pretty!! Do that instead of taking supplies and validation from actual trans people. I'm not saying dysphoria is required to be trans, but come on, people. Attention seeking through pretending to be part of a group that's suffering horribly from their own minds? How disgraceful.

7. Overly religious folks. (Ngl I've met a good amount of super chill religious people who aren't the ones I'm talking to) If you tell someone being gay/bi/trans is a sin and they're going to Hell, that's a bad thing to do. Besides, that just means Hell will be super stylish when I get there. (More for Christians oof)

8. Everyone. Anti-vaxxers are child murderers and imbeciles. They are a cult started by a narcissistic actress and a discredited scientist.

9. All y'all. The Earth is not perfectly round. It is not flat. You know what it is? A giant fucking chunk of rock floating in space. It kinda looks like a lumpy egg tbh.

10. The world. This isn't a truth, it's more of a plea. Love each other. We fight because of our differences, never seeing what makes us all the same. Maybe we can flip that around? We can love each other for what makes us all the same instead of hurting and killing each other over little differences. Just a thought, and a plea. For sense, and acceptance, and peace.

[groundzerobakugo]

just another hero // k. bakugou; part two

  gender in this imagine will be female, if you wish for me to create this with male or genderneutral pronouns please feel free to send a message my way! i would be happy to help!

word count: 1.9k

summary: with second year beginning, you’re too sure what to expect. first year was a wild ride, but you have a feeling the second won’t be any different, especially as feelings for a certain hothead begin to arise.

quirk: plant manipulation.

part one.

...

 you were sat outside of the nurse's office; textbook in the chair next to you and a notebook in your lap. you had your earbuds in as you waited for uraraka to finish with recovery girl scanning her injuries. you were working on hero laws, a subject you somewhat struggled in.

 you were so engrossed in the subject, you had failed to notice someone take a seat next to you.

 "what does that even mean?" you mumbled, clicking your pen against the paper repeatedly. you had nearly jumped when you felt a finger tap your shoulder; you turned quickly with your eyes wide in surprise. "oh, todoroki-san, it's just you."

 the boy offered a small smile, "sorry for startling you, (name), i came up here after my battle to check on you and uraraka-san."

 "that's nice of you," you replied as you returned the smile. "uraraka's almost done getting checked out, but she'll be in there for an hour or so while her rip heals. i feel kinda bad," your voice quiet, eyes drifting off.

 "don't blame yourself," todoroki said, "aizawa had told you both not to hold back. though, that was pretty impressive. even bakugo-san looked surprised."

 your eyes widened at that, "really? b-but nothing surprises him?!"

 "you didn't tell us you could do that," he continued. "with a move like that, though, you'll definitely be a fierce competitor in the sports festival."

 "you really think so, todoroki-san?" a small blush bloomed across your cheeks with his compliment.

 "of course," he replied. his eyes wandered to your paper, "oh, are you getting a headstart on homework?"

 your brows knitted in frustration, "yeah, but i can't seem to get it just yet. i guess hero laws are a bit more challenging than i would have hoped. they're just so boring, and—wait!"

 todoroki jumped at the raise in your voice. "yes?"

 "you're good at hero laws, right? can you help me?" you pouted, "pretty please?"

 "o-oh, sure, (name)," he smiled. "i'll do my best, but i think yaororozu-san is a bit more suited for this."

 "nonsense, you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for," you replied, "besides, while you help me, i can help with whatever's been eating at you." 

 todoroki's brows furrowed, "how-?"

 you shrugged, "you can call it a second quirk, or just call me observant, but i can tell something's up, todoroki-san. you're a bit more distanced than when we left for break."

 his face softened, "i see we'll be continuing from last year."

 "huh? what do you mean?" you asked, genuinely confused.

 "the class therapist," he said.

 "oh," you blushed. "well, i just don't like seeing my friends in pain. i like helping out."

 he placed his hand on top of your head, ruffling your hair affectionately, "we're all grateful, trust me, (name)."

 you smiled brightly, "good! so, what's wrong, todoroki-san?"

 he hesitated; his eyes glossed over for a moment as he thought of how to put his feelings into words. "it... it's a bit complicated. it may take a while to explain."

 "like i said, uraraka won't be officially released for another hour," you replied, "so i have time."

 "can we talk... elsewhere? somewhere more private?" he asked as he stood from his seat.

 "of course," you stood next to him. "wherever you like, lead the way."

 he smiled, and you two wandered off, up the stairs, and onto the roof, standing near the edge, only a gate separating you and your impending doom. you couldn't lie—you wanted to sit down and start naming clouds as you usually did coming up here, but you turned to the red and white haired boy staring off into the distance, lost in thought.

 "whenever you're ready," you gave his hand a light squeeze with reassurance.

 todoroki sighed, "i'm not sure where to start."

 "anywhere you'd like, but preferably from the beginning so i can help you better."

 "right, well...."

 you waited patiently.

 "i'm not sure when it all started, exactly, but there's... there's someone i guess that i've developed feelings towards, and i don't know what they mean," he said. "i hope you don't mind i keep them anonymous, even if it is just for my sake."

 "it's okay, i don't mind. please, continue."

 "right, well, it's just... every time i see them, my heart kinda flutters, i guess is the right world. i can't catch my breath, and i love spending time with them. it may be selfish of me, but... i wish i could spend more time alone with them than i already do," he muttered, a light dust of red across his cheeks. "my hands get all clammy, i can't think straight around them, and while the feeling is a bit annoying, i never want it to end."

 your heart warmed ever so slightly, "todoroki, i think i know what's happening."

 his eyes widened, "really? what is it?"

 "you have what people call a crush," you replied. "everyone has one, some have multiple. you like them, like, like-like them, and well, if you like-like someone, you should tell them."

 "oh, i suppose that makes sense," he smiled to himself, but it faltered. "i-i don't think i can. it's not... it's not... it wouldn't be right b-because i think they like someone else."

 you gave him a saddened smile, "yeah, that can happen sometimes. to be quite honest, there's a reason it's called a crush. it's a lovely feeling, yes, but it can also be painful. it almost... well, crushes you emotionally. it's never fun, but most of the time, you get over them quickly. you find someone else that gives you that same feeling, and all feels right in the world again."

 todoroki nodded to himself, "i think i get it. but, (name), the way you talk about it, have you experienced this, too?"

 you nodded, "like i said, everyone has. though, in my experience, they don't last long. it's a fleeting feeling, but it saves me from painful thoughts, i guess. but, regardless of my own experience, i do believe you should tell her."

 it was only for a moment, you swore you imagined it, but something changed ever so slightly in todoroki's expression, and it partially clicked in your mind.

 "or, should i say him?" you were treading cautiously, your breath stuck in your chest as you didn't wish to overwhelm your friend, and you didn't want to push your boundaries. "i'm sorry if it's not my business, but i don't judge someone on their sexual preference, todoroki-san, and i apologize if i'm wrong and confusing you further. you don't have to say anything, but—"

 "you're right."

 it was quiet, and you nearly missed it in your babbling. "i won't—wait, what? i'm right about what? did i say something?"

 his smile was soft, but as he looked up, his eyes were almost pained. "him."

 "him? who him? what him—oh, so, you like a him, not a her," you muttered. "well, what i say still goes. i promise nothing will change between us. whether you're gay, straight, or bisexual, you're still my friend all the same."

 it surprised you as todoroki's arms pulled you close, and you stood awkwardly for a moment before you realized what was happening. you wrapped your arms around him as well, heart breaking as you felt his body shaking, soft sobs coming from his lips.

 "todoroki-san, it's okay, you're okay," you mumbled to the boy, your hand rubbing his back as you whispered small reassurances. "i don't know what's caused you to break like this, but i'm sorry for pushing and—"

 you stopped talking when todoroki pulled away. he used his arm to brush away the tears, body still shaking a bit. his cheeks were puffed and blotchy, eyes red and swollen, the tip of his nose pink from the scratchy gym suit.

 "todoroki-san...?" a vine slipped from under your sleeve and curled itself around his pinky. "are you okay?" you stood patiently, a calm yet worried expression on your face; brows furrowed, mouth pulled to a frown, eyes expectant.

 "thank you," he finally said after what felt like hours. "i think-no, i needed to hear those words, (name), thank you."

 you stepped forward, placing a small kiss on his cheek, "i care for you, todoroki-san, you're one of my closest friends. i know the world isn't exactly as... understanding quite yet, but i'll always be here for you, and your lucky guy."

 he smiled softly at that.

 "oh, we should head back to uraraka-san, she should be waking up soon," you said as she looked to her phone's clock. "if you want to stay here, i'm okay walking back by myself."

 "i think i will stay here," he replied. "but, i can't thank you enough, (name)."

 you smiled brightly and turned away, heading back to the stairs. you were, however, surprised to see midoriya heading up your way towards the roof.

 "oh, (name), tsu-chan said she saw you come up here with todoroki-san," he said. "uraraka-san just woke up and was asking for you."

 "thanks, mirodiya-san," you grinned, "i was just on my way back."

 "i-is todoroki-san up there?" he asked, green eyes curious.

 you nodded, "he is, we had to... discuss a few things. i think he wants to be alone right now, but you're welcome to join him. i don't think he'd mind your company."

 a blush bloomed on his face, "w-well... i'll talk to him, but you should hurry to uraraka-san."

 "will do, good luck!" you called, racing down the stairs towards the nurse's office.

 it was the first night back at the dorms for the second year heros-in-training, and you had a smile on your face as you stood by watching everyone's happy faces. kirishima and kaminari were wrestling after kaminari had accused kirishima of cheating, jirou, seto, and ashido placing bets, uraraka and asui talking animatedly about a cute boyband they liked, yaororozu and iida arguing over curfews and standards, midoriya and todoroki taking over the game while kirishima and kaminari fought. most others had gone to bed or were in the kitchen doing their classwork, though, occasionally one would comment something about the game that would cause kirishima to begin wrestling kaminari again. everyone looked to be having fun.

 well, almost everyone.

 your eyes had landed on a slouched blond's figure, tucked away against on the of walls with his brows knitted together, lips pressed tight, arms crossed. he was dressed in a casual tank top and shorts, looking like he was about to head to bed.

 but, that wasn't what caught your eye—even if his biceps were a bit impressive. just as you had told todoroki earlier in the day, maybe it was a second quirk, but you were awfully observant.

 you pushed yourself off the armchair, excusing yourself from the group as you made your way to the pouty blond. he glared as you neared, but he didn't say anything.

 you leaned up against a spot on the wall next to him, "scowling like that can give you wrinkles."

 "shut up, plant girl," he scoffed, his eyes flitting back to the group.

 "you can always go join them, rather than sulking in a corner, you know," you said.

 he clicked his tongue, "i don't fucking sulk."

 "fine, we'll call it brooding then," a playful smirk on your lips, "whatever you want to call it, doesn't matter much to me, but... it's a bit dreary all the way over here."

 his eyes narrowed, "why don't you just fuck off? i'll stand right damn here if i want to."

 you shrugged, "i know, just thought i'd try and help before i went off to bed. there's an open seat now near ashido if you'd like, but it's up to you. goodnight, bakugo-san."

 the boy glared at your retreating form, as you bid goodnight to the rest of the class, and until you faded from view. he did not fucking sulk.

...

part three.

[noirandchocolate]

Wanted to talk just a little about Gamzee as a Bard of Rage in the Epilogues.

First off, here’s the canon explanation of Rage from the Extended Zodiac website:

Those bound to the aspect of Rage are bringers of chaos. They posses great contempt for lies or false ideas, including the stability that false ideas can impart. To them, the true is far more important than the good; they would tear down a system just to destabilize it if, by their reckoning, it is built on faulty premises. Often the Rage-bound prefer anarchy to any of the alternate forms of civilization, which they believe to be riddled with lies and foolishness and obedient masses. They are bringers of confusion and doubt, and they can be frustratingly difficult to convince otherwise when they have attached themselves to an idea. If they sound dangerous, they are. The Rage-bound tend to be most volatile and unpredictable of the aspects. At their best they are original, revolutionary, and fearless. At their worst they are cruel, uncompromising, and vicious.

I also remember a really good fan-theory post where the Rage/Hope aspect pair was discussed as being about narrowing or broadening choices and possibilities.  The idea was that when someone is hopeful, they can feel like the sky is the limit, that there is endless potential and myriad options for them, while when someone is full of rage they may feel like they have few options or only one choice in a situation--usually a harmful or negative one made in anger.

Then there’s the Bard class, which is paired with Prince as a “destruction/destroyer” class.  Bard is the passive side, while Prince is active.  Passive classes are more about inviting or inspiring things to happen, so we could say that a Bard of Rage is about “inviting/inspiring destruction through rage” or “inviting/inspiring the destruction of rage.”

So here’s a few things I noticed about Gamzee and his role as a Bard of Rage in the Candy side of the Epilogues.  (Note that Gamzee is not really a God Tier despite his outfit--but god imagine if he was, holy shit.)  First of all, after reading both sides I realized that Dirk violently noped out of Candy very shortly after Gamzee was de-fridged.  There are plenty of reasons why Dirk did what he did that will not be discussed here, but in a meta sense it’s possible that there was only a need for one destroyer per Epilogue.  There’s also the fact that both Dirk and Gamzee are “parts of Lord English”: half of Gamzee, and the Autoresponder/Lil Hal/ARquiusprite copy of Dirk, ended up fusing with Caliborn to form LE.  Maybe there was only need for one “sort of part of LE” per Epilogue?  ANYWAY I’m getting off track.

Next, while Dirk actively and very tenaciously influenced events in Meat, Gamzee just sort of existed disgustingly in people’s presence and nudged things certain ways, maybe without even actively having a plan to turn things to chaotic shit (although also maybe with a plan, who knows, the clown is in many ways inscrutable).  Aside from proclaiming the gospel of MoThErFuCkInG rEdEmPtIoN, his influences on the story pretty much just came from him acting like his ridiculous and gross self around everyone.  A Bard versus a Prince, right???

But he did have some pretty big influences nonetheless, and they were pretty Rage-y come to think about it.  For one thing, he insinuated himself into Jane and Jake’s lives pretty damn hard, and was instrumental in ruining any relationship they may have had to the point where Jake was basically abused and the two’s child...well, also abused (also don’t want to go deeply into this, I’m not here to analyze Jane and Jake too hard, I’m doing Gamzee today)!  Without Gamzee around, perhaps Jane would’ve been an overbearing wife or a cold mother, but with Gamzee, holy fuck.  Inviting destruction through Jane’s rage, don’t you think?  Inspiring “confusion and doubt” in people like Jake and Lil Tavros, right?

Keeping on that track with Jane, her political actions in Candy are so much worse than in Meat, and I don’t think that’s only because things progressed through so many more years in Candy (although granted that’s just my speculation).  Gamzee knew how to push her buttons by calling her a xenophobe and declaring she’d be “canceled” over certain remarks about troll reproduction.  Which, if you take the view of Rage being an aspect of narrowing choices...really could be said to be a subtle forcing of Jane’s hand.  If she hadn’t been so pissed off, maybe she could’ve seen more clearly and not thought the only choices on the issue were all-or-nothing and that “do nothing” was such an untenable position that it wasn’t really a choice at all.  I really don’t think it’s a mistake that a Rage player, canonically a chaos-bringer, was instrumental in Jane’s descent into being “Trump-Hitler.”  Although again, it could be argued it would’ve happened anyway, maybe it wouldn’t have been as bad or maybe at some point she would’ve realized what she was doing was evil rather than just “practical” or however she justified it.  Things were peaceful on Earth C, and maybe politics could’ve stayed more or less stabilized.  But definitely not with a Bard of Rage hanging around such a key player.

Keeping on with the narrowing of choices concept, in Candy we saw a lot of characters doing things “because they just thought they should,” even if those things weren’t all in themselves wholly negative and even if some people were later just as happy with their choices.  Right after Gamzee showed up, Roxy just kind of decided then and there that they “should be” with John, and then went through a lengthy period of just kind of doing that and feeling unable to stand up for themself or their own desires, choices, identity, etc.  In contrast, in Meat they felt empowered to explore their gender, for example.  Even though in Candy they much later say they’re happy as a woman with she/her pronouns and  enjoyed being pregnant and a mom and all that (so it’s possible that in the Meat timeline they also might’ve come to that conclusion in time--or not!) the fact that in the timeline where Gamzee existed they felt more pushed into not even considering other options is interesting.  There’s also the Dave/Jade/Karkat mess, and how in Candy Dave felt a lot more pushed into just going along and being with Jade exclusively despite honestly really wanting to be with Karkat.  There’s some other examples too but this post is getting really long.  Again, while obviously not everything is All About Gamzee, or actively his fault (I don’t think he really had anything much to do with any of these people other than declaring his redemption to them), his passive existence in this timeline...hm!

Finally (or finally all I can think of right now) there’s the fact that Gamzee seemed able to extinguish a lot of people’s rage or disgust toward him simply by proclaiming the “truth” of redemption.  Now, we all know that someone just saying sorry and suddenly “being redeemed” is a load of shit and a lame fandom trope used to woobify villains (hell plenty of people did and probably still do this with Gamzee himself--his “apology” speech contained a LOT of stuff very common in the earlier fandom when his shittiness was a little less...obvious and enduring).  Rage players are, according to the above quoted description, supposed to be all about eradicating lies and falsehoods, so what’s going on here?  Well, Gamzee is full of shit!  Maybe he honestly believes he is redeemed and others should try to be redeemed in the same bullshit way--so his proclamations of this as an ultimate, religious Truth make sense.  Or maybe he knows it’s a lie but is just being the manipulative, destructive clown his Class points to: a destroyer.  What better way to insinuate himself into society than by forming some kind of redemption cult, preaching about something he knows is a lie but a useful one?  Ultimately a destructive one, because it destroys chances for real redemption while letting people’s destructive tendencies go by unquestioned because “you can always just say sorry and be redeemed.”  And in doing so he makes many people just sort of accept his gross, unseemly behavior and stop being mad at him.  People believe this nonsense.  Gamzee effectively destroys the rage they might’ve otherwise felt toward him by acting pathetic and contrite when it’s convenient for him, and thus makes himself more able to not only stay alive, but thrive and invite all the destruction mentioned above.

Ultimately it doesn’t work on a few people.  Karkat, Gamzee’s former moirail, sees right through it all.  Jane is an exception to not showing rage to Gamzee because he’s using her in a different way as discussed before: tl;dr baiting her into hating him in a sexy way is part of his chaos-bringing ways.  He tries the same thing with (Vriska) and succeeds for a few minutes but then she just straight up murders him.  Which makes sense, because Vriska.  Why would any Vriska allow herself to be manipul8ted for long?  As a Light player, of course she could see through his bullshit (Light is a knowledge-based aspect) and would want him gone.  She’s a Thief of Light, for goodness’ sake, of course she’d steal his “luck” in being able to influence so many people and  stay alive despite being so contemptible, and his “relevance” in inspiring so much of the Candy storyline.  She’s Vriska, she thinks she should be the only star of the show!

Anyway I’m NOT DOING VRISKA TODAY I was supposed to just be doing Gamzee, and that’s what I have to say about Gamzee, the Bard of Rage, on this particular day!