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timeagainreviews · 4 years

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My Series 10 Rewatch: The Pilot

Hello friends! If you caught my last update, you'll know I took the last couple weeks off to study for my Life in the UK test. My test was on Saturday and I am happy to report that I passed! I think it took me longer to go through security than to take the actual test. After two weeks of studying, I am very much ready to get back into the groove of talking about Doctor Who. We now continue with my series ten rewatch!

The title "The Pilot," is an interesting choice for the first official episode of series ten. While it references the plot of the episode, there is also an implication that this story is a bit of a reset to a new beginning. It acts as a pilot to the Doctor and Bill show. Not only had Clara been the companion for basically three seasons at this point, there was also a year of hiatus between "The Husbands of River Song," and "The Return of Doctor Mysterio." It is a weird placement for a final season for a showrunner and lead actor. It's also a weird place to drop a brand new companion.

This new version of Doctor Who opens with the Doctor as a university professor teaching possibly the worst class on campus, that everyone seems to love. His star pupil is a girl named Bill, who isn't actually a student but loves his lectures. Speaking of star pupils, there is also a love interest for Bill in the form of a girl named Heather, but more on that later. The Doctor's office at the university is peppered with references to the past. On his desk sits a jar with the sonic screwdrivers of previous Doctors, like an assortment of pens. There are also portraits of River and Susan. And tucked away in the corner of the room sits the TARDIS, with an "out of order," sign hanging from its doors.

The first time I watched this episode I started to groan at the fact that the TARDIS was out of commission. Not because it should never happen, but more that I expected this to be incredibly tedious. After several years of Steven Moffat's plot arks leading to disappointment, I was bracing to be underwhelmed. As it turns out, the TARDIS works as good as it ever did. But the Doctor and Nardole are grounded regardless. This is due to the fact that there is some sort of door or safe they've been tasked with guarding, which brings us back to the whole bracing for mediocrity thing. I remember immediately thinking "Missy is in there." Spoiler alert- she absolutely is.

Dumb safes and meaningless promises meant to build up empty intrigue aside, the real reason to get excited for series ten is Bill. I was immediately interested in the concept of a black gay companion with a gender fucky name. I remember when the pictures circulated of her wearing a vintage Prince jumper and everyone was speculating whether she was from the '80s or '90s. This only added to my excitement for her character. As many of you know, I am a big fan of the idea of companions in modern Doctor Who that aren't from modern-day earth. Sadly, as it turns out, she's not a hip '80s lesbian, she's once again from modern-day England. Oh well, at least Nardole is from the future. Though I don't understand why he is suddenly a cyborg that makes whirring noises and drops lug nuts. There was none of that in Doctor Mysterio.

The Doctor calls Bill into his office where he confronts her about attending his classes. He wants to take her on as her personal tutor, despite her not being a student. He mentions that he noticed she smiles when she's confused, which is a good indication that she is openminded and naturally curious. It's even implied that he sees a little bit of Susan in her. I liked that little nod to Susan, though it begs the question why the new series has never had her return. While looking at the pictures, Bill indicates that she has no pictures of her mother before she died.

The Doctor uses this as an opportunity to do a kindness for his new friend Bill. Using his ability to time travel, the Doctor goes back in time to take a shoebox worth of photos of Bill's mother. Nevermind that doing this might change the trajectory of her mother's life, thus undoing any chance that she might meet Bill's father. It's a sweet moment for Bill, but it's undercut by Moffat's shitty writing. Bill notices the Doctor's reflection in one of the photos, but never brings it up. She doesn't even thank him. It doesn't really go anywhere other than to inform the audience that the TARDIS does, in fact, still work.

It's this kind of gay people need tragic backstories for no reason mentality that frames a lot of this episode. While I applaud Moffat's inclusion of a gay companion, it comes off as a middle-aged man's depiction of a young gay woman. There is diversity on the screen, but none in the writing room. This is made all the more apparent by Bill's horrible chips anecdote. Bill has a crush on a student who comes into the cafeteria where she works. So she gives her extra chips every day until it starts making the girl fat. The Doctor asks her why she is telling him this story and she replies with "I was hoping it would go somewhere." As did Steven Moffat, but it didn't. It just hangs there like a fart saying "Did I mention I was gay?"

The next few scenes take place over a montage. We see Bill and the Doctor in their respective student and tutor roles. And we also see Bill having a bit of a social life. Bill catches the starry-eyed glances of Heather at a club and they both stand there on the dance floor staring at each other. There's an implication that the two of them are into each other, but we never actually see anything to show why they would actually like one another other than raw animal attraction. In fact, their few interactions are actually rather awkward and cold. There's about as much chemistry between the two of them as there was between Clara and Danny. Which if you remember was zero.

There isn't really a whole lot of focus on anything other than characters for this episode. Moffat usually writes in one of two ways- heavy on character and light on plot, or so heavy on plot that it sits weird against his characters. This would be the former, as the plot is nearly non-existent. Bill begins to notice Heather around and tries to chat her up. Heather shows Bill a puddle that doesn't make sense considering it hadn't rained in days. I kind of love Bill's reasoning that the puddle is piss from the men on campus. That was genuinely funny. Well done, Moffat. But there is more to this puddle in that it also shows your reflection wrong. Heather notices this because the reflection of the star in her eye isn't where it should be.

Let's talk about Heather for a moment. She's a very odd character. Firstly, there is her eye, which has a defect that gives her iris a star shape. Bill asks the Doctor what kind of defect would do this, but neither the Doctor or the show has an answer. Much like Moffat's running gag from "The Curse of the Fatal Death," said- I'll explain later. But later never comes. Other than her eye, Heather's other two biggest traits are that she's most likely a lesbian and that she wants to leave. Her personality isn't really all that important other than to act as the thrust for the plot, which is sadly from another episode of Doctor Who altogether.

Doctor Who is a very old show. It’s bound to repeat itself. Chris Chibnall ripped off "The Silurians," wholesale with "The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood." I get that this was necessary as a means to re-establish the Silurians and why they've remained underground. But on other occasions, Doctor Who seems to repeat itself out of sheer laziness. Remember when the library in "Forest of the Dead," saves everyone at their time of death? Or when Missy plucks people out of their timeline at their time of death? Or when the Testimony records people in history at their time of death? Or when the Thijarians comfort people at their time of death? Because I do. So it's not surprising that when Moffat wants to steal from another episode, he steals from one from his own stint as showrunner.

The episode I'm talking about is "The Lodger," written by transphobic Brexiteer shitlord- Gareth Roberts. In it, a spaceship disguised as a top story flat lures people to their demise while searching for a pilot to take it into space. The ship's main criteria for a pilot is that the candidate be someone with wanderlust. Does any of this sound familiar? That's the exact same M.O. of the mysterious puddle. It latches onto Heather because it senses her desire to travel and extrapolates that into consent to take over her body and use her to pilot it around the universe. However, another part of Heather's psyche has kept it earthbound- a desire to be with Bill. If you remember correctly, this is very similar to how "The Lodger," ended. Craig and Sophie's desire to stay together is what kept them from being reduced to ash by a machine too stupid to realise it was killing its host.

Now, I understand that it sounds like I'm ripping on Moffat quite a bit, but I actually do like him as a writer. "Heaven Sent," is one of the best episodes in the entire history of Doctor Who. This one, however, is not great. After the puddle overtakes Heather's body, it begins to follow Bill everywhere. At first, Bill thinks the puddle is Heather, but her creepy Midnight-esque repetition of everything Bill says is enough to raise suspicion. Bill begins to run to the safety of the Doctor, where she finds him and Nardole fussing with the giant safe. The room in which the safe is located only lets friends inside, which is either telling or worrying as the puddle is able to simply wash into the room under the door. As I watched the water flow down the stairs I found myself feeling forgiving toward the effects department from "The Horror of Fang Rock." Green blobs beat slow-mo water any day.

For no reason other than it needed to be more spooky, the puddle screams like a wraith every time we see it. I loved the little addition of Heather's wet mascara adding to her ghostly appearance. The Doctor, Nardole, and Bill take a trip around space and time to see if they can shake the puddle. But no matter where they go, the puddle is never far behind. For a creature made of water, it certainly is thirsty. And trust me, that's far better a pun than the one I was considering. The WAP references were just too low of a fruit.

For reasons I can't exactly pinpoint, the Doctor decides to take the chase right in the middle of a battle between the Daleks and the Movellans. While I love the return of the Movellans in all of their Rick James majesty, it's a very weird scene. As far as I can devise, the Doctor is merely trying to see if the puddle can withstand the blast of a Dalek. It almost feels like Moffat needed to wake the audience up with a jolt of Dalek action. Up to this point, there has been very little tension. What I can't figure out is what Nardole is doing with the Fourth Doctor's sonic screwdriver the whole time. From what I can tell, he's shutting doors, closing off the corridors and locking Daleks out. Maybe? I really don't understand.

The Puddle takes the form of a Dalek just long enough to make us worry that maybe Nardole didn't get them all. Watching the Dalek disintegrate into a puddle of water was genuinely cool. I was reminded of things like the clear Dalek from "Revelation of the Daleks," or the visible innards of the teleporting Dalek in "Remembrance of the Daleks." I like it when the show does weird visual stuff with the Daleks. It's part of why I love Davros so much. The puddle reforms as Heather, holding out her hand for Bill to take, which the Doctor warns her not to take.

Part of the tragedy of the Doctor's character is how oblivious he is to human emotion. It's part of why he needs human companions in the first place. He couldn't possibly conceive of a situation where Heather's own yearning for Bill might be the cause for all of their problems. But Bill sees this. She sees the human desire underneath all of the scary and so she too reaches out, grasping hands with Heather. What I don't understand is why Heather needed to leave and see the universe without Bill. Why they needed to say goodbye at all is more of that "gays can't have nice things," bullshit I mentioned earlier. Let's walk through the logic a bit.

Toward the beginning of the episode, the Doctor explains that the acronym for TARDIS- Time and relative dimension in space, means life. If you think about this, it's him saying that life is basically you in a point of time and a point of space, relative to you. Thus it explains the very essence of being alive and experiencing the universe from your unique perspective. But toward the end of the episode, he changes this position to mean that TARDIS means "What the hell?" As in, just go ahead and live life how you choose. This comes after the Doctor trying to wipe Bill's mind and deciding he can't. This leads to the Doctor allowing himself to travel, despite the promise he made about the safe nobody cares about. Basically, Heather doesn't get to join in on the Doctor and Bill's travels because Moffat still had to do a thing.

A lot of this episode is neutered by this need to adhere to the season ark. Which I now realise is a major contributing factor as to why I so often forget Nardole is a companion. Nardole is forced to become the Doctor's babysitter, forcing him to hide his travels with Bill. Because of this, we see Nardole as more of an authority figure than a companion. He's the strict schoolmaster the Doctor and Bill are forced to sneak past on their way to adventure. What this does, sadly, is cut Nardole out of a lot of the adventures. The same thing happened to Danny Pink, whose opposition to the Doctor often times left him out of the fun. Also like Danny Pink, it's an arrangement that worked best with Rory Williams and has been imitated to hell and back since.

While I can't consider this episode a total success, I also can't write it off outright. It would be easy to damn it in a "Simpsons did it," fashion for taking its plot from a previous episode. It would be easy to write it off for being plot light queer bait where nothing really happens. I could rail on the inclusion of the Daleks for the sake of Daleks. But I have to ask myself- what is the function of this episode? The answer to this question brings me back to its title. This episode is a pilot for a new iteration of the series. We're in a new place with some new faces, and some familiar ones. The pieces on the board have changed location and strategy. If the function of this episode was to hit reset, I would say it succeeds.

Bill is a very likeable character. You immediately want to see more of her. Her introduction is both charming and endearing. The roundabout way she took to arrive at saying "it's bigger on the inside," seemed less thick than quirky, which is right on the money. You want to see more of her. You want to hear more of her questions. You want to experience the universe through the filter of her perception. We needed a companion who was different from the previous one. It was important that the audience is able to move forward with the new cast. We're not comparing Bill to Clara as many did with Martha and Rose. We're not being asked to forget the past any more than we are being asked to cling to it. This is exactly the right tone and in that way, I find it to be wholly successful.

#doctor who #the pilot #series 10 #steven moffat #peter capaldi #Twelfth Doctor #Bill Potts #Pearl Mackie #Matt Lucas #nardole #TARDIS #daleks #movellans

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kendrick-harlow · 4 years

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As time marches steadily past and I’ve gained some distance and read no less than 100 reviews and 50 codas for the Supernatural finale, I’ve come to an important conclusion: While my first reaction to the finale was a mixture of tears and loathing, some of the plot points do have narrative value, but the execution was way off, and I think that’s part of what’s causing such a rift.

Notably, this is mostly for my own catharsis--a way to steer myself away from letting the show grow completely sour in hindsight. I think it might be helpful to others having the same struggle, and maybe bridge the gap between people who liked the finale and people who did not. But first and foremost, this is for me.

Fair warning, if you read past this line, understand that this is about to get fairly analytical. It’s a (mostly objective) critique of both literature and cultural timing.

The TLDR is that there’s actually foreshadowing for both interpretations of how Supernatural would end and a lot of the controversy could come down to a mix of managing expectations and cultural climate.

TRAGEDY

I’m going to start with the big one. There is a lot of foreshadowing that this is how Dean will die, and as many of us know, the key to a successful, cathartic tragedy is knowing that it’s going to be a tragedy.

In 3x11, Mystery Spot, we see Dean die. A lot. From little accidents. Some of these accidents bear a striking resemblance to the one in 15x20. When one of these deaths appear to be final, Sam goes violent and obsessive with grief, until he tracks down the Trickster (later revealed to be the archangel Gabriel). While this episode was a long time ago, it established two things:

Gabriel taught Sam that when Dean dies, he can’t go crazy like this. He needs to move on.

It set an expectation that Dean (and Sam) were meant for more important deaths. No silly accidents.

Now, the second point is actually challenged in 15x10, The Heroes’ Journey. God no longer needs Sam and Dean to survive, so they suffer the rampant misfortunes of not being the protagonists. It’s explicitly stated that they could die a casual death now. This wouldn’t be the first time that a “crack” episode has been used to carry a lot of narrative weight (see, again, Gabriel’s entire shtick).

But most of the plot points are played for humor and it’s partially invalidated by the next episode, The Gamblers, when the Winchesters regain their lost luck. Then it’s never referenced again. (What happened to that luck, anyways?) What I’m saying is that while The Heroes’ Journey is foreshadowing, it wasn’t effective foreshadowing for a large portion of the audience.

Of course, everyone is familiar with Dean (repeatedly) saying that he would die on a hunt, which is, admittedly, one of the things that do actually make 15x20 ending work as a tragedy, although it would have also worked as a reversal--an accomplishment, if you will.

MIXED SIGNALS

The main question here is: Is Heaven supposed to be a happy ending? The Winchesters have had a fraught relationship with Heaven in the past. This is especially emphasized by 5x15, Dark Side of the Moon, where they are killed (again) and end up in Heaven. Also notably, in Dark Side of the Moon, Ash mentions having found a way to travel between heavens, which implies that that’s the ideal version of Heaven and ends up being the standard in 15x20. (Although it is not mentioned as being Ash’s idea, which would have been a nice callback and cemented that Heaven has improved a lot since the Winchesters’ sour experiences.)

A lot of the scenes from Sam’s long-life montage in 15x20 are tinted by grief and aren’t particularly balanced out by Dean driving. It would have been far more fulfilling and balanced to see Sam living his life with their living family while Dean spent his time with their dead family.

Basically, if Heaven is supposed to be a happy ending (as it was framed as being by Bobby), there are not enough visibly happy moments proceeding it. We just witnessed a major tragedy--there needed to be more transition.

NARRATIVE CONSEQUENCE

Put simply, there are loose threads. Big ones. What happened with the Empty? What’s Dean’s reaction to Castiel’s sacrifice and confession, whether you read it as platonic or not? What would Dean have done with his newfound freedom? Did Castiel and Jack really not visit? Ever? (Which would narratively kill them off and/or put them in Heaven, too.)

It would have been some kind of conclusion to see Castiel as part of Dean living his afterlife in Heaven, as ambiguous as I’m sure it would have been. However, there is plenty of fan-fiction for that, so I won’t go too far into it.

The part that bothers me is Dean’s newfound freedom. They kill off Chuck, the Final Big Bad, and he doesn’t die during that. From a structural perspective, that means we should have gotten more about what he planned to do (which actually would have added to the tragic aspect--specific plans that never happened). Even in the conversation at the end of 15x19, Inherit the Earth, it’s unspecified.

The pie festival scene (and later, Dean driving in Heaven) reduce Dean’s character to pie, car, hunt. As if he finds happiness from nothing else. It’s not a satisfying end to his character arc. At the very least, he should have mentioned plans or, ideally, gotten to experience one of them before his untimely death. Maybe a trip to Jody and Donna’s to have a big celebration with all of their found family. It would have been a good send-off for him if he’d been able to see all of his living family followed soon by all of his dead family. That way, all of his progress from S1 to S15 isn’t ignored.

CULTURAL TIMING

Admittedly, I’m going to be a little less objective here.

COVID-19 and 2020 in general. We are in the midst of a widespread tragedy. A lot of people are using media to cope. Personally, I wanted a happier ending. A bright spot in the endless reel of deadly event after deadly event. I’ve talked about ways that 15x20 had the potential to be happier, at least. There’s also the real-life impact of them not being able to film those big happy family scenes during COVID, which I understand, but fans have waited 15 years already. We could have waited a little longer if they explained that the ending would be drastically changed due to COVID restrictions. Saying that it’s a happy ending doesn’t have the same impact as seeing that’s it a happy ending. Show not tell, right? Oldest trick in the book.

I am only going to very briefly talk about the LGBTQIA+ community because of the show’s history of queer-baiting and the recent political environment that left many of us in that community worried that our rights would be stripped. Supernatural has pretty regularly referenced this audience and occasionally made them the butt of the joke (10x5, Fan Fiction). However, this wasn’t a good time to queer-bait, and it certainly wasn’t a good time to narratively bury the gays. Either don’t mention it or go whole-hog, guys. Anything else is cruel at this point.

CONCLUSION

There’s been equal foreshadowing that either the Winchesters would die hunters’ deaths at the end or emerge victorious from a final battle to live the lives they earned--the lives they’d sacrificed so that others could have. From a purely technical perspective, Dean dying and Sam living works. It’s an even split. One dies a hunter’s death. One lives on. It also means that no fan is wrong or stupid for expecting one or the other.

I know I’ve seen people say, “If you didn’t see this coming, we were watching different shows,” but with how Supernatural is framed, that is entirely possible. It’s up to which points you focused on and your investment in each individual character. However, from a cultural perspective, it’s clear why so many people were hoping for the happier ending.

#supernatural #spn #15x20 #meta

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lunawings · 5 years

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King of Prism All Stars Prism Show Best 10! Initial thoughts/summary/review

So I’m going to be splitting this post into several sections with space in between to make it easier for people maybe to skip over spoilers they don’t want to read.

Table of contents is as below: 1.) Day 1 Greeting Show Live Viewing brief event report 2.) Weekly theatrical video (week 1) 3.)1-10 Ranking and my personal thoughts 4.) New content (intro, ending, in-betweens, etc) 5.) Shin’s new show

1.) Day 1 Greeting Show Live Viewing brief event report

They had a live viewing for one of the greeting shows in Toyko. It was attended by Junta Terashima (Shin), Masashi Igarashi (Minato), and Takuma Nagatsuka (Leo).

The day 1 greeting shows are always kinda awkward. Especially if it’s a live viewing and ESPECIALLY if it’s before the show because they aren’t allowed to give spoilers.

Masashi Igarashi seemed even MORE pumped and emotional than usual. You could tell he really wanted to talk about Minato making it into the ranking, which should be a surprise for no one because he was really high in the preliminary ranking, but he still wasn’t allowed to talk about it.

So he had to like dance all around it with wide hand gestures about how.... these ten shows.... and how amazing it was...... that these particular shows...... hahah ahhh man you could tell it was torture for him and torture to watch.

Naganyan said that if by chance Leo made it in, he wanted us all to shout IIZE! for him.

At one point the showed off kanji they wrote to symbolize the new year (a Japanese tradition). Junta said he wrote 変 I think (the first kanji in “change” but it also means strange) but he didn’t have the board with him for some reason so I wonder if he messed it up backstage and they didn’t have another one? Haha. Naganyan wrote 華 (flower). Masashi wrote 手 (hand) and he talked about how hands can symbolize a lot of things, like holding hands and “taking that first step” but then he was like “wait that’s feet....” And it was said in a way where it was difficult to tell if he only just realized that now or not. Judging from Junta and Naganyan’s reactions maybe it wasn’t on purpose hahaha. But then he doubled down on it, and as he was explaining why hands are significant he kept forcefully grabbing Junta’s hand and being like “See? Don’t you feel something??” while Junta was just kinda looking at him like “ummm”.

I love these dorks so much they’re my favorite. EVERY SINGLE TIME I see them at an event together, Masashi Igarashi just goes on this HUGE rant about something and Junta Terashima is like “...........................................what?” (And Takuma Nagatsuka, if he is there, is like slowly inching away from them.)

I CAN’T WAIT to see them for real in Nagoya next weekend AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

2.) Weekly theatrical video (week 1)

So King of Prism movies always have rotating intro or ending videos exclusive to the theater. (The first movie had the characters appealing to be in the Prism King Cup, Pride the Hero had the regional dramas, and SSS had shorts after the credits.) Best 10 has “Prism Star Interviews”. Basically, you hear audio of one character interviewing another which plays to a static image of the characters.

Week 1 had Shin interviewing Hiro, Yu interviewing Kouji, and Taiga interviewing Kazuki. It was fairly low key. Hiro talked about getting his driver’s license, Kouji talked about sending weird food photos to Minato from abroad, and while Taiga was interviewing Kazuki someone (implied to be Kakeru) slipped him the question “Which do you prefer, tigers or dragons?” After going back and forth for a while, Kazuki ultimately says he likes them both because they are both strong. Taiga is not too happy about this.

Something to note about the intro videos is this time is they have four weeks’ worth planned, but there are only three courses of the movie. This means the course and intro video are not necessarily connected and as time goes on it will get out of sync and you won’t be sure which intro video you’ll see. I feel like this was probably done on purpose. After a while we never knew what intro videos we would get for the first movie and it was kinda exciting.

3.) 1-10 Ranking and my personal thoughts

10.) Yu / Shiny Stellar (SSS) 9.) Taiga / Fly in the sky (SSS) 8.) Shin/Shine / Platonic Sword (SSS) 7.) Yukinojo / Hyakkaryouran (SSS) 6.) Leo / Twinkle Twinkle (SSS) 5.) Kazuki / Freedom (Thunder Storm ver.) (Pride the Hero) 4.) Minato / Sailing (SSS) 3.) Kakeru / Orange Flamingo (SSS) 2.) Shiny 7 Stars [SePTENTRION] / Brilliant Oath (SSS) 1.) Hiro / pride (Prism King ver.) (Pride the Hero)

So I think the voting for this was actually pretty fair. Basically, people who bought the SSS soundtrack CD got a code which could be used to vote only once. So although it would technically be possible to buy hundreds of CDs to try and sway the vote, I kiiiinda doubt that happened? It’s not like event tickets.

First of all, I was surprised at how low Taiga ranked considering he’s always been the most popular SePTENTRION member. But then again, although I really like him too, there are several SePTENTRION member shows I would have voted for before him. I guess that’s because I would assume everyone else would vote for Taiga so he doesn’t need my help? So maybe everyone else thought that way too that’s what happened.

I’m also shocked at how high Leo is. He beat Yukinojo. HE BEAT TAIGA. After his ranking was announced the first time I actually started crying during his performance just because I hadn’t seen it in a while, and also I had literally JUST finished translating this.... so I was just like..... MY SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN IM SO PROUD OF YOU (....dammit I forgot to yell IIZE. MY SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN)

Platonic Sword is at 8 which is OK sure. But you know, to be honest, although I was so distressed by this show at first I’m actually kinda diggin’ it now that I’m used to it because it’s a whole lot easier to enjoy out of context (I don’t have to see Shin crying every time). But it’s just really weird to have THAT smacked right there it at number 8, right in the middle-ish. This supposedly 0 karat show.

0 karats my ass.

AND MINATO AT NUMBER 4 AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I can’t believe it. After all this time. He finally FINALLY got the recognition he deserves. The only SePTENTION member who ranked higher than him is Kakeru and I have no complaints about that because I definitely agree Kakeru deserves that number 3 spot. (You know, I wonder if this means Kakeru actually surpassed Taiga at some point to be the most popular SePTENTION boy? I’m just so used to it being Taiga, but..)

Hiro at number 1 feels right. I’m happy with it. It would be the same in-universe too. (Actually in-universe it would be like ALL Over the Rainbow but y’know.)

It’s really crazy how all of SePTENTION made it in (if you count Platonic Sword for Shin, although they did credit it as Shin/Shine which was nice). I think that’s part of what Masashi Igarashi was trying to say at the theater greeting: To think that the new cast could have come this far. To think that exactly four years ago I left the theater after seeing the first movie for the first time, and I couldn’t even remember over half their names... and look where they are now!!

Although I am certainly not unhappy with the results, and I know the SSS shows are... objectively better, it did make me a little sad that nothing made it in from the first movie at all though. Because those shows had a bigger emotional impact on me overall. I don’t regret using my vote for Minato, because I feel better having contributed to him getting the recognition he deserved than I would have if I had voted for something that didn’t stand a chance. But at the same time, Shin’s Over the Sunshine at the end of the first movie is probably the most important prism show to me, in actuality.

But they are doing different courses to show the prism shows that didn’t make it in. The first week they are showing a montage of all of Over the Rainbow’s shows. Watching them back-to-back with the SSS shows in this movie really highlighted how old they look in comparison, especially the Hiro/Kazuki Boy Meets Girl. Back when the only texture they used was for Hiro’s stomach...

But anyway, the credits revealed the other courses will show Alexander, Joji, The Shuffle, and Louis’ shows. It is also rather sad that none of the Schwarz Rose boys made it in. Especially since Alec is so popular! I wonder if Alec fangirls didn’t vote for Survival Dance in protest since Alexander has never gotten an original song. I felt the saddest about Louis though... because Shota Aoi and his voice and...... (C.... Can I just slip in the back room, cut out Platonic Sword, and edit in I know Shangri La?)

PS. I think the shows were pretty close to the same versions we saw originally. One notable change is that they added in some subtitles for cheering. Specifically “SHISHO!!!” in Yukinojo’s show and “YO! Daddy I did it!” in Kakeru’s. So I guess we were originally supposed to yell that. (Oops.) As I hoped it would be, Brilliant Oath was also stitched together without that long break in the middle, so in this version it just looks like SePTENTRION created the goddess on their own with their prism jump. But hey! It’s nice to have a complete version. Also Platonic Sword was missing the Prism Axel. (Maybe that’s another reason I could enjoy it this time around.)

As is tradition, the credits are set to a new SePTENTRION song. This one is called Love Gravity.

4.) New content (intro, ending, in-betweens, etc)

There are two new, very brief, traditionally animated segments. The first one is a cold open of SePTENTRION as power rangers fighting Alexander. What makes this even more hilarious is it basically starts right where the original Prism Show Best 10 left off. They even used the exact same background I think!? Some of the boys’ ranger costumes are... interesting... Kakeru’s (and I’m afraid this won’t translate that well to English so I might as well explain it now) is missing the entire backside. The joke is about the contrast between his two sides (business and party: lit his front vs back in Japanese). I think this segment also has the first ever anime/movie reference to Alexander being weak to Leo. (It’s referenced in Prism Rush all the time.)

The second new traditionally animated segment is at the end, and it involves SePTENTRON in the bath discussing different genres of dramas or movies they could do now that their careers have taken off. I’m pretty sure it’s a metaphor for “So much has happened in King of Prism, what now?” After all the discussion of different genres, Shin starts to get worried it means they won’t do prism shows together anymore. But they all agree that of course they will.

Then there are the Dorachi and Torachi segments. They are simplified and look as though they were animated in flash. In addition to counting down the Best 10, Dorachi and Torachi also have two language teaching sessions. First Dorachi teaches us some “useful” English phrases, i.e. Alexander’s “Go to hell!” etc. Then Torachi teaches us Aomori dialect. What makes this sequence so hilarious is how seriously they take it. Like, as seriously as you could imagine a chibi tiger and chibi dragon teaching you something would be. The Aomori dialect was pretty challenging too, and Torachi actually broke down the sentences, pointing out where the intonation was different and like.... IT WAS ACTUALLY EDUCATIONAL. LIKE..... I ACTUALLY LEARNED SOMETHING. The first two sentences we practiced in Aomori dialect were Taiga’s dad asking him if he thinks his grades can get him into high school, and that random background character saying the nebuta floats won’t be ready in time. But then we got a completely new Taiga line of him confessing to someone which needless to say was NOT in the show BUT...... the background was clearly the scene from the end of episode 3 when Taiga was trying to tell Kazuki something. Pfff.

There is also a longish short anime during the intermission done in the same style. Torachi finds Dorachi out of power, and the two get lost together trying to find a power source to charge him. Meanwhile Taiga and Alexander don’t come looking for them until after dark because they are too busy fighting. Moral of the story: Dorachi and Torachi are secret BFFs and Alexander and Taiga are terrible parents.

5.) Shin’s new show

My...... heart............................... my heart felt so full............. nnnghghhgphhhh.........

The context is that Shin is finally performing the song Yu wrote him in the costume Leo made for him at the Rose Party. So it’s taking place chronologically after SSS.

Daisuki Refrain is a very heavy audience participation song. Perhaps the most intended participation in a King of Prism song we have had so far? There is a beat to clap to, callouts, and even a dance in the middle and it’s pretty clear even during your first viewing what you’re supposed to be doing at all times.

Also, as I guessed from seeing Junta Terashima perform at the CD release event, Shin’s hat is a huge part of his choreography. What I did not guess is that it’s also a magic hat that grows and you can ride on it if it fills up with prism sparkle hahahah.

Ahhh man.............

....Okay. If you have seen it, I know you’re probably expecting me to talk about that.... one part...... So. I will. Okay. Here goes.

At one point in his performance, Shin partially obscures his right eye while his left eye shines red. W......Why is that in there WH--okay I kinda know why. I think Shin has been gaining a lot of popularity recently since the end of SSS specifically because of Platonic Sword, and because he has that edge now. So although they gave him a happy, fluffy, traditional Shin show, they still put in a little fanservice for the fans who like the edge. A little reminder that he’s still in there. While I’m like.... YOU... YOU STAY IN THERE. IM WATCHING YOU. Ahahaha.

One thing though, I could have sworn in the preview showing that Shin’s right eye (the one which would be yellow if he was Shine) was completely obscured. But when I saw it again on the premiere day, I could see it was only partially obscured and it was clearly the normal red. So. Surely I was just so surprised that they did that in the first place that I just didn’t fully register it. It’s not like they changed it in between the preview and the premiere, right..... RIGHT?

Right.

Okay moving on sorry that was too long. Haha seriously that scene is like 2 seconds and Shin’s show is SO CUTE AND SO GOOD. I really REALLY did like it and I’ve been singing the song all day.

And his new prism jump......................

I........

Nnngfdnnnphhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I really don’t want to spoil itttttttttt..... while I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you just wait and experience it for yourself firsthand like I did, at the same time.... not gonna lie... I also really want to talk about it. Because Shin. So I’m gonna end this post here but also write about it at the end anyway. So if you absolutely must know. It’s down there.

But.

Thanks for reading! READY SPARKING!

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Okay so Shin’s new prism jump. It’s called Mugen Hug Together.

And it’s basically.

A reverse Mugen Hug.

So Shin Mugen Hugs the crowd, but then the crowd reflects it back to him and he’s like AAAAUUUGH and, of course, it takes all his clothes off.

(And then there’s like an uncomfortably long black screen. Where it’s like.... did we kill Shin?)

(Did we kill him? With our love?)

(We did not.)

(I guess he needed time to get his clothes back on.)

Shin has one of his speeches where he says he’s embarrassed about how he wanted us to feel good but the opposite happened. Then the second part of the jump starts (or I guess it may technically be a second jump), part of which can be seen in the trailer. The part where you take Shin’s hand and he gets wings. Then he takes you around the world.

The end.

#king of prism #kinpri #king of prism best 10 #prism show best 10 #king of prism all stars #king of prism spoilers #kinpri spoilers

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Hakuna Matata

I was about sit down and take in season two of the Umbrella Academy when this reviewer i follow, Grace Randolph, put a review up for Black is King. She virtue signaled hard for this thing, ma has a real bad habit of that, but her praise piqued my interest. Grace is one of these rabid SJW types but she's a good measure for what the general populace thinks of a flick. I might not agree with her politics all of the time but she's harmless and usually delivers pretty apt critique. At the very least, it got me to do a little research and I was pleasantly surprised by what i discovered. The Lion King meets Fantasia? Okay. That is interesting. I love the Lion King and i love Fantasia. The only thing giving me pause is the fact that Beyonce is all over this thing. I don’t consider myself a fan of hers but i know she is dope at her craft. After some hesitation, i figure I'll check it out. It’s only eighty-five minutes, brisk any any measure. Let’s see if this collab is worth the time.

The Outstanding

This film is f*cking gorgeous. It’s easily the most beautiful thing released this year so far and it’s a goddamn shame Disney pulled the trigger on a streaming release. This thing deserved to be seen on the biggest of screens, with the very best sound systems in place. The landscapes, the cinematography, the vistas, the f*cking people; All of this color is so rich and earthy and palpable. My TV is dope and my sound system is above average so i was able to appreciate a lot of what was presented but, in a theater, this sh*t would have been a true experience.

I commend Beyonce for putting this thing together. It’s a masterpiece, truly. In all honesty, I'm not a huge fan of her music but she has a few bangers i bob my head with. In not part of the Beyhive. Her speaking voice annoys the f*ck out of me and i don’t know why. That said, she’s earned the rep she has in the industry for a reason ad this film continues to prove why Queen Bey wears that crown.

I don’t know exactly what the f*ck this is supposed to be. I think it’s an interpretation of The Lion King which also starred Beyonce and i personally didn’t care for, but this? This is dope. Apparently this is a visual companion piece to the album The Lion King: The Gift? I thought i was going into something like Fantasia but it’s closer to Smooth Criminal than anything. It’s much better than Smooth Criminal

I can’t really comment on the acting or anything because that’s not what this is. Black is King is basically one, big ass, music video with top notch production. It hits all of those notes. Great costumes, dope dance numbers, musical transitions; This thing would be right at home back in the 00s where cats were spending film budgets on “Musical Shorts”. That said, Black is King is the best version of those old school, excess, videos.

This is the blackest sh*t I've ever seen in my life. It’s so, unapologetically, black. Like, this thing would piss off the mainstream if it wasn’t cosigned by Beyonce, for real, which is a shame because it’s f*cking amazing. This is us, getting back our roots. Black is King presents the African we’re told about among our family, not the despondent and violent visage we see in the news. Rhythm, Percussion. Dancing. Passion. This is us at our best and it’s f*cking incredible to see, unfettered, onscreen. The more i get into this film, the music, the more disheartening i am that this wasn’t a theatrical release. Everything about this film deserves to be seen in the cinema.

The Verdict

Black is King is f*cking incredible. It’s difficult to approach this review because, while it’s an actual film, it’ very unconventional. This thing is more an abstract piece f interconnected montages. They tell a singular story, for sure, but it’s a story you have t kn to properly piece together. This is The Lion King properly reimagined. It’s not a direct remake It’s not the same type of genre. Disney played it safe with it’s “live action” remake and produced middling results. Beyonce said f*ck that, did her thing, and we have all been rewarded. Black is King id the best version of The Lion King available since the original released all those years ago. This thing does an extraordinary feat of capturing the spirit and pride from the musical, instilling it with the flavor of the initial animated release, and gives is a wholly unique, far superior rendition of such a beloved folk tale. I went into this expecting hip-hop Fantasia. I got Africa Samsara. I left this film energized, prideful, and glad i am as black as the ace of spades. This sh*t means everything. I’m not sure how it’ll be received by other, not-so-melanated peoples, it is a Beyonce project so it has a good chance of being successful, but i, personally, loved this f*cking film. I still cant really stand Bey's speaking voice though.

That last bit is a joke and shouldn't detract from my unmitigated praise of this movie. Just so we're clear. I don't want to be accused of being racist again, especially considering my black ass persuasion.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Black is King #The Lion King: The Gift #The Lion King

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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50 Films You’ve Got to Watch

Hi to anyone who’s reading,

I thought I’d take a break from the fashion posts to ramble on about something else that I’m really interested in for a hot minute. And I say ramble with intent, because I do go ON.

The topic is film and I thought that I’d make a list of my 50 must watches. These are movies that I feel had the biggest impact on me which means, yes, I do have tattoos referring to a couple of them, lol. My genre of choice is usually horror and although there has been a bit of a “horror renaissance” and a shift towards prioritising good quality storylines over jump scares in recent years, on the whole, they typically aren’t the most highbrow films out there, so there aren’t THAT many on this list. Most of the horror films I listed are just genuinely good quality rather than a straight-up gorefest or anything too terrifying, however, I’m not that easily scared so if you did fancy watching any of the films I mentioned, take that with a slight pinch of salt!

Also, this isn’t anything to take too seriously. I really like movies and cinema but I’m also not a movie critic and this is more of a hobby than something I want to pursue. Like, I’m completely aware of how unrealistic working in TV or film is as a career if your family isn’t loaded. Very aware. Painfully aware you could say (imagine me sighing as I’m writing this). That being said, part of me does want to do a ranking of every film I’ve seen in 2019 at some point this year, so if anybody else is interested in this kinda thing let me know!

Lauren x

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch:

1. Black Swan (2010)

“I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.”

I watched Black Swan years ago now and I still remember how disturbing I found it and how exciting that was to me. I was probably a bit too young (young enough that my mum felt it necessary to cover my eyes during the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene, lol) but even then I could recognise that it was a beautifully haunting film and Darren Aronofsky has gone on to be one of my favourite directors.

2. Jennifer’s Body (2009)

“And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.”

Engrave it on my tombstone: JENNIFER’S BODY DESERVED BETTER. I fully believe that if this movie was released in 2019, it wouldn’t have faced half the criticisms it did back in 2009. It genuinely was ahead of its time. Megan Fox? As a boy-eating, demonic cheerleader? And Amanda Seyfried? Some of the most ICONIC DIALOGUE EVER? It should’ve invented a GENRE. Instead it got paid DUST. Yes, when I write in caps lock, my internal voice is YELLING. I feel passionately about this, okay?!

3. La La Land (2016)

“I guess I'll see you in the movies.”

Again, maybe it’s a basic film bitch opinion to have but I adored La La Land. I saw it at the cinema and spent the last 20 minutes of the film sobbing, only to find my mum and sister distinctly underwhelmed. I indignantly ranted back then to them how perfect a film it was and I’m going to do the same thing now so if you are reading and you didn’t like it, then you should probably just move on because I wouldn’t want to read myself banging on about Emma Stone again for several paragraphs either (don’t worry, I’ll try and keep it to one). I can’t help it. This film was just TOO REAL! Like, in every way but the actual plot and characters, La La Land has the dreamlike quality of a fairytale. The colours are rich and thick and always complimentary, the musical sequences are either like Disney songs or lullabies, and Emma and Ryan Gosling are made for each other. But then life and ambitions and resentments get in the way. And that’s the real part! That’s why it’s so bloody good!

4. Easy A (2010)

“People thought I was a dirty skank? Fine. I’d be the dirtiest skank they’d ever seen.”

And so we arrive at the movie that actually began my love affair with Emma Stone. Iconic. Iconic in every way. The bad reputation montage is cinematic excellence. For real, though, this is so underrated as a coming of age movie. Like don’t get me wrong, Mean Girls is everything (I easily could’ve included it on this list but I feel like it’s just a given that anyone who grew up in the noughties loves that film) but Easy A deserves just as much credit. It has Penn Badgley, one of the few celebrity males I care about! Amanda Bynes! Aly Michalka! Lisa Kudrow! Did I mention Emma Stone?

5. Kill Bill (2003)

“Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!”

If I had to put any of these films as my singular favourite, it would probably be the first Kill Bill. Controversial, I know; even my dad introduced it to me as the weaker of the two. To list any Quentin Tarantino movie as the one that inspired you to want to be a director is probably a very cliche film student thing to say BUT I’m not a film student and I’ve put my directing pipe dream permanently to one side, thus, coming from me it’s not as hackneyed a statement. Or so I tell myself, lol. Basically, I was in awe of Kill Bill from start to finish. The colourisation is a dream, from the crazy 88 scene to the final fight between The Bridge and O Ren Ishii, and I particularly remember loving the animation sequence despite that not really being my kinda thing. I was just so impressed with how seamlessly something so out of place, considering the live action format of the rest of the film, fit in with everything else; even the scenes that should be absurd instead work with the comic book style narrative. Uma Thurman is of course amazing and iconic af but Lucy Liu as O Ren Ishii is my favourite thing about this film and the line I chose gave me all the bad bitch energy I need to, I think, get me through the rest of my time on this planet. If not, the tattooed version of this still I have on my arm should hopefully do the job. Yep, I truly ascended to a divine level of basic film hoe with that life choice.

6. Marie Antoinette (2006)

“This, Madame, is Versailles.”

The first Sofia Coppola film on this list, I love this woman’s work to death. Regardless of the content she’s working with, the end result always gives me the feeling I’m watching an extended music video. They always have this almost dreamlike quality to them and everything from the colour palette to the camera movements to the soundtrack in Marie Antoinette is tied together perfectly.

7. Mother! (2017)

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

I was tense throughout the entirety of Mother. As a socially anxious, obsessively tidy control freak, this whole film was like something from one of my nightmares; think unwanted house party on crack. I was mentally screaming along with Jennifer Lawrence for all of those people to get out, whilst simultaneously just staring at her face because she is so fucking gorgeous! Even when she’s completely lost it! Totally unrealistic but it makes for some really pretty shots! And then there’s the ending which left me kind of like “what the fuck did I just watch?” Which is what Darren Aronofsky films do best. They’re terrifying but also quite beautiful and Mother is no exception.

8. Gerald’s Game (2017)

“Everybody's got a little corner in there somewhere. A button they won't admit they want pressed.”

I finally got round to watching this for the first time the other day and I absolutely loved it. It probably helps that the last Stephen King adaptation I saw was Pet Sematary, so despite the praise this got at the time, my expectations weren’t super high, but I think this really is a perfect horror film. It’s clever, doesn’t rely on jump scares, and the creepy scenes that are in there really get under your skin. It drags a little in the middle though it’s beautifully shot, acted and has one of the few “body horror” scenes in a horror that’s actually made me cringe.

9. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

“I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

I don’t want to say too much about this film and spoil the plot, so I’ll just say that it’s incredible. Devastatingly sad but also wonderfully hopeful at the same time, and solidified my interest in psychology! I could watch Jennifer Connelly all day.

10. Alien (1979)

“This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.”

As a horror fan, I don’t think I need to explain why this film’s on the list. It’s been raved about and video essayed and called a pioneer of the genre ad nauseam. Again, not that this is really anything new but part of what I love about this movie is the context of its release and success; before Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal of Ellen Ripley, it was a rare occurrence to have a female protagonist in an action-based movie. Alien really paved the way for women to take up space in a previously male-dominated genre.

11. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

“Crazy is building your ark after the flood has already come.”

I saw this for the first time at the cinema and pretty much went in blind. I hadn’t seen Cloverfield but I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3 was always my favourite of the franchise, lol) and there wasn’t really anything else on worth seeing, so my sister and I chose this and it was an experience. Like, of all the films on this list, this is probably the one that had me most on edge and I’m not sure watching it on your laptop on Putlocker will do it justice. You need the curtains pulled to, the volume way up and complete silence.

12. American Psycho (2000)

“Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!”

There isn’t a dull moment in American Psycho. Every line is quotable and every scene is straight to the point. I feel like this film is a masterclass in that Stanley Kubrick quote about editing where he says he liked to get rid of everything that was not absolutely vital to advancing the plot or the audience’s understanding of the character in any way. Plus, the ending is trippy af! Or maybe I’m just a bit oblivious to something that was quite obvious throughout, who knows. Either way, what the final scenes really mean are fun to think about.

13. The Descent (2005)

“I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider.”

Okay, so I literally just watched this the other day and had to begrudgingly remove Silent Hill to make space for it (I KNOW it was critically panned and I KNOW the video game is better but I liked the visuals, OKAY!?) because The Descent is truly one of the best horror films I’ve ever seen. Before we even get to the supernatural element of the creatures, which are genuinely creepy for once, there’s a party bag of other phobia-inducing sequences that had me emotionally exhausted within the first half hour alone. Claustrophobia, darkness, heights, actual cringeworthy body horror, The Descent has something for everyone. The way it utilises space (or lack of for that matter) and darkness and panicked camera pans makes you feel as if you are really down in the cave with the characters. To add to that, I was actually rooting for all of them too; it probably helped that they were English rather than the typical American slasher cast but I found them to be a believable and likeable group of women. I truly did want them all to get out alive *spoilers*, which only made the ending all the more devastating and although the general narrative is quite predictable, the way in which things get wrapped up left just the right amount of shocks and questions to leave you reeling.

14. Eighth Grade (2018)

“Gucci.”

No film has ever captured what it’s like having social anxiety during “high school” (it’s called secondary school here in England, I know, but you get me) better than Eighth Grade. A tribute to the feeling of never quite fitting in and wishing you knew how to do what everyone else seems to be able to do naturally, it encapsulates that awkwardness with an accuracy that is really impressive considering that 1. it’s Bo Burnham’s first film, and 2. he’s not...like...a 13 year old girl. It is just as funny as it is sad and Elsie Fisher is great and so, so believable. Girl should’ve won some kind of Oscar.

15. American Beauty (1999)

“I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.”

I wavered on whether or not to include this film on the list due to the Kevin Spacey controversy and decided that I had to with the disclaimer that I watched it quite some time before the stories about him came out and won’t ever watch any of the new things he inevitably ends up doing (because Hollywood has a notoriously short memory when it comes to the actions of disgraced male actors, lol). You can’t deny the amount of talent and skill that went into making a film so graceful and elegant and yet in equal parts unnerving, and I don’t think we should refuse to acknowledge the achievements of everyone else on that set because of Spacey’s behaviour.

16. Bandersnatch (2018)

“The past is immutable, Stefan. No matter how painful it is, we can't change things. We can't choose differently with hindsight. We all have to learn to accept that.”

As I was watching/playing through Bandersnatch, I didn’t necessarily love it. I think I’m echoing a common sentiment when I say that I was kinda confused. I was desperately trying to *spoiler* avoid the option of the protagonist murdering their dad (he seemed like a nice guy!?) but somehow always ended up there by their logic. So I watched most of the endings and then I went on and busied myself for the rest of the evening. AND I COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. One minute I was completely deluding myself into believing the whole parallel universes thing was true and that I should test it out (don’t ask), and then the next I was thinking how disturbing it was that we’d been basically been inside the head of a person experiencing a mental breakdown severe enough for them murdering their dad, who had only ever wanted to help when you think about it objectively, to seem rational. The confusion started making sense within the context of the experience of the protagonist and our role as the audience and though I hadn’t realised it at the time, I’d been completely absorbed in the episode. Maybe the confusion wasn’t intentional, maybe I’m giving Charlie Brooker too much credit based on the recent couple of series of Black Mirror BUT I can’t deny that Bandersnatch left a huge mark on me, and after all, this is the man who wrote White Christmas.

17. Get Out (2017)

“White girls. They get you every time.”

Going into this film, I was cocky. I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting what’s going to happen in things, probably just because I watch too much TV, but from the trailer I was sure I knew exactly what was going to happen. And then, I was completely blown away. The ending was SO SMART, in terms of both the within universe storytelling and also the metaphorical narrative/commentary on the way our society treats black men and women. Like those early episodes of Black Mirror, it had me like “how the fuck did Jordan Peele think of that!?”. I can only dream of being as creative in my writing one day. Even little plot points like where the “police” car turns up at the end and your stomach sinks and you realise the intention of that is most likely to help you empathise with what the average African-American person feels in their day to day life when police make themselves present, what with institutional police brutality and racial profiling; it’s clear so much thought went into this script.

18. Ghost Stories (2017)

“It's funny, isn't it? How it's always the last key that unlocks everything.”

I don’t have all too much to say about this one apart from that I love a well-constructed English horror. I feel like it’s something we don’t do all too often and to be honest, I’m struggling to think of many English horror films in the first place. Ghost Stories is a great example of why we need more; it’s smart and spooky and folky without hitting you over the head with all those elements and Andy Nyman is a perfect lead. Love a bit of Martin Freeman too.

19. Girl, Interrupted (1999)

“Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified.”

Maybe this is the 13 year old black and white Tumblr girl in me jumping out but I still adore this film. I know it’s not necessarily the most critically well received but Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie and Brittany Murphy are 3 of my favourite actresses and I do love the script. I also like the way that Borderline Personality Disorder was characterised in Winona’s character Susanna (I’m wavering on whether to call her a character as if I recall correctly the book was based on the author’s real experience) in that it was quite subtle and that she wasn’t portrayed as manipulative, or aggressive or basically, as the villain, which I feel is usually the go-to. It focussed more on the mood aspects and the way that people with BPD tend to latch onto and idealise others, as Susanna does with Lisa, and these are both things that I have personally struggled with in the past.

20. Hereditary (2018)

“All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that fucking face on your face!”

It was hard to find a quote that encapsulated what makes Hereditary so great because so much of it is about what isn’t said, if that makes sense. It’s a lot of pained silences and resentful looks and horrified screams, and doesn’t that sound like a fun time? Honestly, it’s not necessarily, lmao. Shocker. It has you feeling like something awful is about to happen the whole time, deep in the pit of your stomach, but I like that in a film, when it does make you properly feel. Ari Aster gets slow-burning dread just right in his exploration of dysfunctional families and grudges, with a few heart-sinking shocks thrown in for good measure all without overdoing the jump scares. There are a lot of deeply unnerving “supernatural” moments but there are just as many horrifically realistic familial conflict scenes that give you that whole “something is wrong” gut instinct in equal measures. It’s been a year and I’m still so angry that Toni Collette didn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, because it was really the perfect opportunity to break down the invisible wall between horror and critical recognition. On a more positive note, I loved Midsommar too (not as much as Hereditary but it was still a trip) and I cannot wait to see what Ari Aster does next. Once again, I’ll be in the cinema on opening night.

21. Heathers (1988)

“Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

Heathers is iconic in every way: the outfits, the cast, the lines. I mean, the acting can be a bit iffy at times but I honestly think that without Heathers, Jennifer’s Body might never have existed and that’s a world I wouldn’t want to live in. There was so much choice when I was picking a line to summarise why I like it so much and of course, “fuck me gently with a chain saw, do I look like Mother Theresa?” deserves an honourable mention. You almost made it bby. The TV remake? We don’t speak of it.

22. Hot Fuzz (2007)

“The way we see it, it’s all for the greater good.”

It might not be the “artiest” movie ever but I’ve seen Hot Fuzz so many times and it never gets old. Though I used to love it when I was younger purely for the PG-13 gore, now I appreciate it for the absurdity and the ridiculousness and to be honest, the total believability of the plot when it comes to towns ruled by low-key hostile, doddery old white people. I should know, I live in one.

23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)

“You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business. We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’.”

I wish I wasn’t a hoe for Quentin Tarantino films (I’ve felt personally attacked by many a poundlandbandit starter pack) but I am. The breakneck pacing, the tongue in cheek dialogue and the gore all make this one of my ultimate favourites. Also, I have a huge crush on Melanie Laurent. Yes, it’s the French accent. No, I don’t know the mechanics of how that works. I hear someone speak French and I want to marry them! I can’t help it!

24. Ingrid Goes West (2017)

“Are you actually insane?”

This seems like a random choice to have on the list seeing as it was never really that hyped up, nor did it receive masses of critical acclaim. It did get positive reviews but that was about it. However, as soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I had to see it. Months, and an £8 purchase from HMV later, I finally got to watch Ingrid Goes West and I loved every moment of it. Whilst Aubrey Plaza’s character, I feel, is an exploration of a lot of young women’s insecurities and self-doubts and fears, blown up to monstrous proportions (or maybe just mine, lol), and a 90 minute film about that doesn’t sound all that revolutionary, this one is as intense as it is stylish and darkly comedic and that’s what puts it on the map for me.

25. Insidious (2011)

“I like to call them travellers.”

So this film scared the ever-living SHIT out of me when I was younger and though I now consider horror my favourite genre and watch it on the regular with absolutely no qualms, 13 year old me was (not to use the world lightly) mildly traumatised. I genuinely couldn’t be home alone by myself or sleep at night without thinking the old woman ghost from the beginning was outside my room for a good 6 months or so. Like it literally exacerbated an already present sleep disorder to the point where my understandably frustrated-at-being-woken-up-nightly-by-her-panicking-daughter mother got me referred for CBT (to reflect on a time when I didn’t know what CBT or CAMHS was is…blissful, lol). And maybe because of that, in my mind, I still conceptualise it as one of the very few horror movies that has actually scared me, hence its place on the list. That scene where we first see that Star Wars looking red faced devil? I’d probably still nope out even now.

26. It Follows (2014)

“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

There’s not too much to say about It Follows, other than that it’s a good horror film and more importantly just a really good film. I feel it’s a crucial, early part of this warmly welcomed horror renaissance we are now fully in the thick of where writers are focussing less on making people gasp and more on actual good quality cinema. It’s a simple concept that leaves enough room for you to ask your own questions whilst still feeling somewhat complete, and not annoyingly open-ended. The shots are good, the characters are normal enough to be believable, and the colour palette is Fincher-esque; the muted tones perfectly complement the feelings of dread that run throughout. Whilst you don’t need to be concerned with what the whole thing is a metaphor of in order to enjoy the film, the possibility of there being that second reading of the narrative, for me, elevate it to a higher level. In other words, it’s got *Shrek voice* layers.

27. Juno (2007)

“I'm just gonna go ahead and nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to…you know...an infant.”

I love Ellen Page. I love Michael Cera. Together they are the best thing ever. See, I’m not really much of a rom-com girl but I see this as less of a rom-com and more of a coming of age film with romantic snippets and great one liners. It’s sweet and whimsical and funny but also really fucking real in parts, and it’s definitely what I would consider a modern classic. If you haven’t watched it already, do!

28. Suspiria (2018)

“Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

Witches! Ballet dancing! Decapitation! Tilda Swinton! What’s not to love? As soon as I saw the trailer for Suspiria, I knew I had to see it. Creepy but also beautifully shot and scored, it was worth the 8 month wait from the Venice Film Festival and eventual caving and watching on 123Movies after I couldn’t find the DVD on Amazon; I finally got to tick it off my watch list only to like it so much I had to add the original Suspiria back on.

29. Mulholland Drive (2001)

“I hope that I never see that face, ever, outside of a dream.”

Another film which had me like WTF by the end, I really recommend Mulholland Drive for anyone who wants to be vaguely creeped out and extremely confused at the same time. See, I really love a film where you spend the next few hours after watching researching all the different interpretations and reading interviews with the director. That sounds sarcastic, but honestly, I love it. It’s a moody, film-noir style mindfuck of a movie and even after doing my research I’m still quite baffled. That’s the best part.

30. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

“Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, orange in the evening.”

It took me a while to get on board with seeing Marlon Wayans in a serious role (I’ve seen White Chicks far too many times, clearly), but once I did, I was into it. To be totally honest, I don’t think there’s a single happy moment in this film; it comes up quite frequently as one of the most disturbing of all time, which I’m sure Aronofsky probably thinks of as another notch on his belt. Whilst imo, that’s quite a grandiose claim, Requiem for a Dream definitely stuck in my mind after I watched it. Even if you’ve never watched the film, the ending sequence is notorious for how fucked up it is and I do think it’s earned the infamy. What stuck out more to me, though, was how purposeful every shot and sequence felt in terms of trying to let you into the character’s states of mind, the short lived bursts of euphoria and the panicked downwards spirals. I think it will always be one of the most compelling films about addiction for highlighting how terrifyingly out of one’s control it can be.

31. Room (2015)

“No one is strong alone.”

This film made me cry buckets. Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay are wonderful, and everyone involved deserved all the Oscar hype. Every line was so heartfelt and emotive, and I loved Tremblay’s voiceovers. To translate the stream of consciousness of a kid from page to screen in a way that it remains believable in spite of its wisdom (not like those tweets where people try to make out their kid just casually made some off the cuff scathing political jibe at the dinner table) is quite the feat and similarly, I’m in awe of how the director managed to communicate the pain and confusion of the characters on a level that transcended the physical confines of said room. The escape scene had my heart in my mouth. All this being said, I should really read the book because it’s supposed to be even better.

32. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)

‘When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”

Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are two of my favourite actors and so it’s a given that Scott Pilgrim is one of my favourite films. It’s such a fun, easy watch and the video-game inspired directorial style makes it, in terms of cinematography, probably the most memorable Edgar Wright film on this list imo. The concept, based on the graphic novel, is quite a simple one but that doesn’t stop it being entertaining from start to finish. The rest of the cast is great too: Brie Larson, Anna Kendrick, Mae Whitman, Aubrey Plaza and Alison Pill (Ivy from American Horror Story, anyone?) All make appearances, plus Chris Evans. He’s Captain America or something, right?

33. Scream (1996)

“No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!”

The Scream movies were my absolute favourite when I was just getting into “horror” as a 13/14 year old because they were always pretty tame in terms of scares but nonetheless, always a trip. Though, controversially, I’d probably say I enjoyed Scream 4 just as much as the first one (I am a bit of an Emma Roberts stan), I chose the first one purely for how iconic it was and how ahead of its time. It mixed satire and horror in a way that hadn’t really been done in such a mainstream way before and made it possible for films like Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls to do so well.

34. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

“Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil, sorry, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.”

I’ve seen Shaun of the Dead way, way, way too many times and I’ll still probably watch it again the next time ITV decide to show it too. It makes me laugh, it’s got lots of good gore and it’s easy to follow. The perfect film to put on whilst eating a take away, as long as you’re not too squeamish, lol.

35. Silence of the Lambs (1991)

“Well, Clarice. Have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Jodie Foster’s portrayal of Clarice Starling makes her one of my favourite movie heroines of all time; quietly courageous, she was the type of female lead that really hadn’t cropped up all that much in the films that came before Silence of the Lambs. And despite its problematic handling of certain issues, it’s a fucking incredible film. The thing about Hannibal Lecter is that they don’t have to tell you that he’s always one step ahead, you see it for yourself (the elevator scene!) and so it kinda feels like he’s looking into YOUR soul too. The confrontation at the end between Clarice and Buffalo Bill is one of the most nerve-racking 15 minutes or so of film I’ve ever watched, and if I ever get asked to justify why I’m scared of the dark again, I’m going to point straight to this scene. Yes, I’m a baby but my fears are VALID!

36. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

“I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I'm empty! I have nothing!”

As you can probably tell from my inclusion of Mother! on this list, I love Jennifer Lawrence, and this is probably my favourite drama film of hers. The way that she and Bradley Cooper portray two people struggling with mental illness is refreshingly honest in that it shows it can make you quite an unlikeable person at times, albeit someone who is just trying their best to survive. That being said, in spite of the subject matter it’s still a relatively light and easy-to-watch film. The diner scene in particular is a masterclass in realistic conflict and reaction, and I hate to be “ooo, edgy” but several of the lines did strike a really deep chord.

37. The Babadook (2014)

“Sometimes I just want to smash your head against the brick wall until your fucking brains pop out.”

The best thing that the Babadook does, much like It Follows, is instils a sense of deep seated dread in you before you even see the supernatural forces at work. The washed out colour palette, apparent emotional disconnect of Jennifer Kent’s (who also directs!) character, and the disorienting movements of the camera all help to create a lingering unease that is just as effective as the grossly uncanny appearance of the monster/ghost/creature/whatever-you-want-to-call-it himself. It’s obvious that Kent had a very clear vision of the story she wanted to tell and even more so that she is a very talented woman; I hope to see even more female directed horror films in the future if the Babadook is anything to go by. The way this film blurred the lines between the inner struggles of a grieving family and the outside supposedly paranormal influence was unsettling as fuck and to get into the psychology of a mother left on her own to raise a small child and how terrifying that might feel is something only a immensely intuitive and empathetic woman could do. Props to her.

38. The Craft (1996)

“We are the weirdos, mister.”

Not to sound all halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl (although that might actually be quite an accurate description of me to be honest), but if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind about the craft, it’s the aesthetic. It’s kind of what I aim to emulate in every aspect of my life, NBD. Seriously, when I was trying to pick a still, I was spoilt for choice. The rituals, the outfits, the witchy interiors; there’s this one GIF of Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie (and maybe Sarah?) lighting all these gorgeous candles and if I could walk around with it permanently looping on my forehead, I would. And ignoring my shallow reasons for liking The Craft, it’s just a really good film. Nancy Downs is probably one of the most interesting female villains of all time and I’m obsessed with anything that explores magic and the occult. It’s equal parts dark and girly, not to use that in a derivative way at all, in that not only does it teeter on the line of being scary, it’s also a gritty exploration of female friendship, power and jealousy. If you are a halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl, definitely watch it; more power to you.

39. The Favourite (2018)

“All I know is, your carriage awaits and my maid is on her way up with something called a pineapple.”

I’d seen The Favourite twice within, like, a month of it being released in British cinemas and I do not have a single regret about that; well, maybe a minor regret in paying over £12 to see it in the Leicester Square Odeon with the assumption that the extra price meant fancy seats (it didn’t), but on the whole, I’m pretty happy with my life choices. Emma Stone, Olivia Colman, and the period Mean Girls comparison drew me in but I came back the second time for the costumes, the dialogue, the editing and Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough. Or Rachel Weiss, in other words. See, The Favourite is superbly casted in that Yorgos Lanthimos must have known we can’t help but see Emma Stone as the “good girl”/protagonist and so it took me a whole second viewing to see her character for what she really was, and realise The Favourite is in some ways less a story of Abigail Masham’s rise to power and more the tragic disintegration of Sarah and Anne’s relationship. I’m sure you can view the film both ways but to view it as the latter brings a whole new dimension to it and the ending, imo. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t go into the film expecting some vaguely historical lesbianism and that definitely made for a slightly awkward birthday viewing with my family BUT I wasn’t at all disappointed.

40. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

“If you dig a hole in the yard, better make it a big one.”

This film is slow-moving, weird and the acting can be stiff at the best of times, and yet somehow all these things add to the (take a shot every time I say-) dread that builds throughout. You don’t know exactly how things are going to end, but you do know it’s not well. Like in his latest directorial entry of The Favourite, Yorgos Lanthimos excels in the realm of the strange and vaguely fantastical through his script, score and cinematography, and so even though the settings are quite mundane, The Killing of a Sacred Deer kind of feels like some macabre modern fairytale, the moral of which I can’t quite work out. I can’t imagine anyone playing Martin more unnervingly than Barry Keoghan and I’m never going to complain about Nicole Kidman, but it’s the imagery of the tears of blood, Steven’s children dragging themselves along the floor and the ending scene that stuck with me long after the film had finished. If you’ve got the patience and you enjoyed the style of The Favourite, there’ll definitely be something positive for you to take away from The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

41. The Orphanage (2007)

“Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.”

When I was first told by my year 11 Spanish teacher that we were going to be watching The Orphanage in class, I definitely didn’t foresee myself including it in a top 50 films list 5 years later and yet here we are. I mean, I shouldn’t have been surprised really as she did tell us it was good and I had frequently seen it included in lists of the best horror films but as with pretty much anything our teachers would put on as an excuse not to teach for a few lessons (I’m really NOT complaining here, they deserve the break and I would definitely do the same, lol), my expectations were definitely low. Side note, I also since found out that Bilbao seems like a pretty cool place and there was a reason she kept banging on about that too, and so moral of the story, teachers do sometimes have some decent recommendations BUT my assumption was that The Orphanage must be pretty tame for her to show it to us. Parents-even of 16 of year olds-love to complain, lol. And to be fair, it isn’t so much in your face scary so much as it is kind of tragic with an undertone of spooky but I really enjoyed it. I want to say that part of what I enjoyed about it so much was the mystery element but honestly I think a lot of that comes from the fact that it’s in Spanish so I had to work to follow what was actually going on.

42. The Ring (2002)

“I can't imagine being stuck down a well all alone like that. How long could you survive?”

The Ring does visuals better than any other horror. The contorted faces of Samara’s victims, the infamous tape and the shots of the well all have a staple in pop culture for a reason. Whilst I don’t find Samara herself particularly frightening, the lore and mythology surrounding her feels so authentically creepy; the tape in particular reminds me of the kind of weird YouTube video you might stumble across when you’re supposed to be trying to get to bed late at night and instantly hate yourself for watching. Naomi Watts is a compelling lead and though I was probably rooting for Sarah Michelle Gellar in the American remake of the Grudge more (I still low-key associate her with the live-action Scooby-Doo and I have no shame), to compare other noughties horror classics, on the whole The Ring is definitely the better quality movie.

43. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

The Shawshank Redemption is just an unequivocally good film. On paper, it doesn’t necessarily have any of the things that draw me to a movie in it, but it’s brilliantly acted, written and shot. It’s frequently cited as one of the greatest movies of all time and I think that’s a very fair statement.

44. The Shining (1980)

“Wendy? Darling? Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in!”

I love The Shining. In terms of scares, not all that much happens in it, but what we do see (the corpse in the bath tub is fucking horrifying) undoubtedly leaves an impact. The score is so unnervingly perfect that I can still hear the sound that’s made when we see those 2…puppets? Costumed people? Basically some kind of weird furry activity-which believe me, makes sense if you’ve seen it-going on. And I only need to see a still of the Overlook Hotel and I can immediately feel the sense of claustrophobia and growing tension that Stanley Kubrick so effectively communicated. A lot of people shat on Shelley Duvall’s acting at the time and whilst she obviously didn’t match Jack Nicholson’s energy, she did come across as a woman genuinely traumatised which is sad when you do consider the effect that shooting the film had on her. With that aside, The Shining is a massively pivotal part of horror history and I’m very excited to see Doctor Sleep this year!

45. The Virgin Suicides (1999)

“Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

It really is a toss up between Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides when it comes to Sofia Coppola’s best film, and so of course I had to include them both. See, whereas Marie Antoinette could be the visual incarnation of an album like Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart or Charli XCX’s Sucker (if you ignore the less than fortunate ending, lmao), The Virgin Suicides plays out more to the tunes of something less bubblegum pop and more breezy and mellow, maybe LDR’s Ultraviolence or Honeymoon. You could say in a way that this film romanticises suicide and you’d definitely have a point, but I think considering the fact that it’s based on a book and was made in a time when we were less aware of the damage popular media can do (I think there’s a similar point to be made about the way the villain of Silence of the Lambs’s gender is portrayed and linked to his motivation), I give it a pass. It does also kind of make sense for the film to take this approach; the Lisbon girls are viewed through the eyes of a group of boys who are infatuated with them but also ultimately know nothing about them. In a way, it’s almost a critique of the way these boys think and a commentary on just how stifling and confusing young womanhood can be. I think it’s a beautiful film and a perfect adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides’ novel.

46. The VVitch (2015)

“Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”

Is it sad that I have this quote tattooed on my back? Is it biased for me to say no? Because for me, just as much as the Virgin Suicides is about how stifling society’s expectations of young women and how they are supposed to think and act, The VVitch is about the demonisation of girls who go against this and how liberation and sexual freedom for so long were perceived as the result of some kind of satanic and deeply disturbing force at work rather than individual expressions of freedom and femininity. The ending is HAPPY, okay, and if you take away the misty, barren landscapes and the isolation and the paranoia and the baby eating witches and the accusations and the demonic goats, it’s kinda a dark feminist fairy tale to go against puritan panic. I mean, let’s be honest, *spoilers* Thomasin’s siblings were annoying AF. Not that I’m condoning child murder on any level, but you know. In a narrative context was it really so much of a loss when those little shits got the chop?

47. Thoroughbreds (2017)

“At the end of the day, I have a perfectly healthy brain. It just doesn't contain feelings. And that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person. It just means I have to work a little harder than everybody else to be good.”

I love Olivia Cooke. I love Anya Taylor-Joy. I love concise, cutting dialogue, the idea of middle class American social politics, and a little bit of (fictional, of course) murder thrown in there for good measure. Thus, I really love Thoroughbreds. If you watched it with the sound off, it’d be a Polo Ralph Lauren promotional film that gets really dark at the end, and what’s not to like about that?

48. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

“What are these people watching, people like me?”

I still haven’t got round to reading the book this film was based on and I feel like that’s something I need to get on top of ASAP, because it’s been sitting on my shelf for a long ass time. However, based on the little I know about how faithful a film adaptation it is, I think Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton were a wonderful pairing, and this is a film that’s all about the characters, so it’s a good job they were so well cast. Miller does a great job at getting right under your skin and answering a lot of my questions about what leads someone to commit the kind of horrific crime that his character, Kevin, does. Arrogance, done subtly, is hard to pull off but he nails it, and Swinton is very, very believable as a haunted, grief-stricken mother wrestling with the natural question of the part she played in her son’s actions and the scrutiny that comes with it. Not only that but from the offset, every part of the cinematography helps to convey the feeling of impending doom that builds right up until the climax. The colour palette in particular, which for the most part doesn’t stray too far from the mundane greys and bleak washed-out tones perhaps reflective of Eva’s state of mind, does a great job of foreshadowing what to come when it quite purposefully does take a diversion. It’s all about the red, apparently. Take note.

49. Whiplash (2014)

“Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to push people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that is an absolute necessity.”

You honestly wouldn’t believe that a film about drumming could feel like a horror and yet here Whiplash is, leaving me on the edge of my seat and wincing for, like, 2 hours straight. Tonally it couldn’t be more different from the other Damien Chazelle film on this list (La La Land), and yet it flows just as seamlessly and has his same impeccable rhythm; every word, yell and snarl slots perfectly into place and every swivel of the camera is flawlessly executed. If you’re looking for an intense and fast-paced drama, I can’t recommend Whiplash enough.

50. Zombieland (2009)

“Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.”

Zombieland has only one fault: that Jesse Eisenberg’s character wasn’t played by Michael Cera. But it has Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson so I’ll let it slide. Not much to say about this one other than it’s a wild ride from start to finish, but simultaneously easy to watch and probably the most lighthearted zombie film out there. Almost like The Hangover or something along those lines, but with the addition of the undead. It’s a hard film not to enjoy and I’m just really hoping they don’t fuck up the sequel.

DISCLAIMER: 90% of these stills are from Filmgrab, it’s an amazing website!

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wigwurq · 5 years

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WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 3

Stranger Things season 3 is here!!!!! Bust out your 80s nostalgia and demogorgon attitude because I fully don’t remember where we left off but Netflix kind of reminded me in a very extended recap that was definitely too long? Whatever, let’s just discuss the wigs! (AND MUCH MORE).

As with last season (and any season of TV I review) I will be adding each episode to this post and then changing my wig verdict as the season progresses.

CHAPTER ONE: SUZIE DO YOU COPY?

We begin with two tweens making out and YUCK I really don’t want to live through this! I share this opinion with Sheriff Hopper who has to live through these make out sessions that are scored by 80s soft rock music. Even more insulting: THESE HAIRCUTS. I don’t know at what point these kids are gonna outgrow their bowlcuts but the answer seems to be a resounding: NEVER. Also Elle’s hair has finally grown out! TO THIS?!?!?! What overprocessed curly nightmare is this?! I feel like they were going for a Jennifer Grey situation but if that’s the case, I’ll be needing like 110% more hairspray and like 200% more dancing ability, please.

Anyway, the real news in town is: THERE’S A MALL NOW! It’s called Starcourt which is the most 80s sounding name ever and it is home to SCOOPS AHOY ice cream shoppe where Steve and Uma Thurman/Ethan Hawke’s daughter works. This whole storyline is incredibly Fast Times at Ridgemont High themed but Steve’s hair is still very wonderful. Also he can get all the tweens into the movie theater which is showing Day of the Dead and I get it Stranger Things: YOU ARE MAKING ALL THE 80S MALL REFERENCES.

Also: Dustin is back from camp! It was a science camp called Camp KNOW where and I am definitely gonna see some assholes in this shirt this summer. Anyway, this storyline was all about Dustin forcing his friends into helping him with a radio tower to talk to his possibly fake girlfriend named Suzie and truly: meh.

Meanwhile: WINONA’S SEASON 3 WIG! I’ve gotta say, this season is the best season of wig for Winona. Sure, it is still very much a mess (as is she after the untimely death of her boyfriend Rudy Reuttiger!) but it’s the best wig she’s had so far so MAZEL!

Elsewhere, the most boring teen couple in America (aka Nancy and Will’s brother whose name I won’t learn) are working at the local newspaper and Nancy’s whole job seems to be fetching hamburgers for an entire room of #MeToo examples. Her hair is business chick 80s which is to say: on brand but I could use about 90% more Working Girl, please.

And now let’s get to the only storyline I truly cared about: Nancy’s mom Karen Wheeler (aka Carla Buono). Every season, her wig brings the drama and glamour I crave in an 80s-based TV show. The arc of her wig story is truly the story of America - from 70s disco queen to bored early 80s housewife to the wig we see today - 80s mall glamour queen. AND I AM HERE FOR IT. She and the other ladies of the Hawkins Town Pool are unfortunately here for the worst character on this show: BILLY.

UGH BILLY. I will give this show major props for having his entrance to the same music playing when Phoebe Cates gets out of the pool in Fast Times (second Fast Times reference in this episode tho) but it’s a gender reversal I can definitely get behind. HOWEVER BILLY IS THE WORST. Within 2 seconds of his entrance, he fat shames a tweenager and also HAS THE WORST WIG.

Nothing has changed much from last season on this wig front. It is still very much a curly dried out MESS which is very much trying to reference Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire yet this bish has yet to wail on a saxophone or talk about granny panties so truly: no redeeming qualities here.

This does not dissuade Carla Buono from falling under the spell of Billy’s terrible wig. To be fair, her husband is a constantly napping Reagan supporter of indeterminate middle age. Anyway, the episode ends with her getting 80s GLAMOUROUS for a latenight rendezvous with Billy at a fleabag hotel. Billy, however, is run off the road by falling/exploding rats (?) and then dragged into a dirty warehouse full of said exploding rats which truly is the fate I wanted for him and his bad rattail so: COSIGN.

CHAPTER TWO: MALL RATS

We begin with Billy in the rat-infested warehouse being very much alive, so already: I’M ANGRY WITH THIS EPISODE. However, Billy and his awful wig have definitely been through the ringer and he’s about to high-tail it out of there when he comes face to face with: HIMSELF?!?! I don’t know what sort of US crossover this is supposed to be...can we get Jordan Peele on the horn about this? Anyway, he drives out of there in his now somehow completely fine car that didn’t work about 5 minutes ago and then stops at the most bizarrely situated telephone booth literally in the middle of nowhere. I thought this might be a Bill & Ted crossover but nope: he just tries to call 911 before all the electricity bails on that plan.

In other telephone news, Mike has been shook to his core by Sheriff Hopper and tells Elle that he can’t see her and makes up some lies about his grandma. Queen on the scene/his mom Karen and her GLAMOROUS PERFECTION WIG are somehow listening in (KAREN!!!!) and she’s concerned about grandma now too. Everyone back at the pool is concerned about Billy/”Billy” (not sure if he’s the real thing or a mole person version or a possessed alien version - probably the latter) and he is straight up RUDE to Karen so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY ALWAYS. There are also a bunch of shots of the back of his nightmare wig that gave me the shivers. Oh, and he fully kidnaps the other lifeguard as a human sacrifice to a demogorgon blob so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY x100000.

This episode also introduced MAYOR CARY ELWES! This is very good casting and this whole storyline seems like an homage to Jaws so: OK! Also Sheriff Hopper asked Winona’s season 3 wig (which is still good!) on a date/nondate which she definitely didn’t attend because she had far more important lessons to learn about magnets and that’s probably the best reason to stand up a dude ever.

Elsewhere, boring couple is investigating some weird rat/fertilizer situation at an old lady’s house and basically I didn’t pay attention to this part because it was boring and it involved exploding rats so: hard pass. Nancy’s hair looked fine. Jonathan’s hair is a mess. The end.

The rest of the episode was devoted to the only kind of rats I like: MALL RATS! Over at Scoops Ahoy, my favorite bromance between Steve and Dustin was rekindled and truly it is a beautiful thing.

However, Maya Hawke and her language skills (which are romance based, not Russian but whatever!) come into play to translate the Soviet message Dustin intercepted. They somehow translate it (SURE?) and also Maya’s hair is about as 80s as John Travolta’s 70s costumes were in 50s-set Grease. This hair is pure 2019 and you do you Stranger Things. THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS.

Meanwhile, Mike is BUMMED about having to lie to Elle so he brings Lucas and Will along with him to the mall to...buy something for Elle to erase the lie he told her? The whole time Will kept asking when they could leave and play D&D and the whole time I wanted these boys to not have bowl cuts anymore.

In the most important storyline, Elle teamed up with Max to have a LADIES DAY AT THE MALL AND I WAS HERE FOR IT! Max does not seem like the kind of chick who is into fashion or commercialism but her overriding guidance of finding yourself through consumerism and forsaking any sad feelings about boys is just good TV. Retail therapy is great!

And I’m sorry but there is absolutely no better cinema than an 80s makeover montage to effing MATERIAL GIRL. YES PLEASE.

Elle also used her powers to prank some asshole chicks at the Orange Julius and this whole part of the show felt very Girls Just Want To Have Fun (the movie but I guess also the song) so VERY YES PLEASE.

THEY EVEN TOOK EFFING GLAMOUR SHOTS. CAN YOU EVEN?! THIS IS EVERYTHING! I don’t know who funded this amazing afternoon at the mall since Max’s parents seem like pretty absentee wrong-side-of-the-tracks types and clearly this whole mall fiasco goes against everything Sheriff Hopper stands for but whatever logic: YAY MALL!

In the end, Elle calls out Mike on his lie and DUMPS HIS ASS! GIRL POWER! MALL POWER! ICE CREAM POWER 4EVER!

CHAPTER THREE: THE CASE OF THE MISSING LIFEGUARD

My favorite bromance, Dustin and Steve, are on the hunt for Russians in the mall! This whole plot is ridiculous and wonderful. They think they’re really onto something here (and maybe they are?) and just need to find some guy with blonde hair and a duffle bag (like all Russians!) When they find someone who fits that description, he turns out to be a FABULOUS aerobics instructor and I like what everyone has done here with the gay or European? trope.

Meanwhile, Hopper comes home from being stood up with bottle of Chianti and general sense of hopelessness when everything takes a turn for the GREAT because Elle isn’t making out with Mike - she’s found a great galpal and they’re having a sleepover. Halleluj all over the place! Elle deserves a great galpal and Max is pretty awesome and can ALMOST land an ollie so I say amen. Winona’s season 3 wig (still great!) shows up and explains about magnets and then they go back to the lab and find an actual Russian (not an aerobics instructor!) but then he hightails it out of there with no other explanation other than the fact that he might be the Terminator and/or just a motorcycle enthusiast.

Anyway, Elle and Max have the best sleepover EVER by using Elle’s sensory deprivation skills to spy on the boys and truly this is the What Men Want crossover no one wanted but sure! (PS the answer is Doritos belches and farts UGH BOYS).

Beyond that, what Will wants is to just play D&D IN THIS GODDAMNED ELEGANT CAPE, OK?! Mike and Lucas go along with it for a bit, but they are just too girl crazy to concentrate on being a nerd for long. Mike yells at Will, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” which is interesting phraseology since the internet really wants Will to be gay and only time will tell but honey: the cape eleganza story you’re serving is pretty fabulous, just sayin! (THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS).

Anyway, after some fun sensory deprivation visions of the guys doing stupid stuff, Elle and Max decide to invent a whole spin-the-bottle inspired game to see what other dudes in Hawkins are up to and dammit if the bottle didn’t land on my wig nemesis BILLY. Elle sees that he’s up to some pretty effed up nonsense involving kidnapping that other lifeguard so they decide to investigate IN THE RAIN.

The rest of the episode is mainly devoted to fabulous 80s raincoat fashion and I WAS HERE FOR IT. Beyond these great raincoat lewks, most of the rest of the cast also rocked some fab 80s raincoats (excepting Will who got soaked destroying his childhood fort and Steve who OF COURSE was wearing a members only jacket but jokes on him bc that rain totally dented his ‘do).

Anyway, Elle and Max go over to the missing lifeguard’s house and OF COURSE her dad is the #1 asshole that boring couple works with (oh also they did more boring investigating which resulted in an old lady eating fertilizer. Meh). But shocker: BILLY AND HIS AWFUL WIG WERE THERE TOO.

LOOK AT THE SIDE OF THIS DAMN WIG. Truly, this wig IS the demogorgon of this season.

Anyway, double shocker: THE LIFEGUARD ALSO WAS THERE! Or I guess a possessed version of her since this plotline is getting less US and more Invasion of the Body Snatchers (no need to return my call anymore, Jordan Peele). Also possession or not, this chick’s side pony and wispy bangs are the true terrors (second only to Billy’s wig).

Also can we talk about Billy’s mustache for a second? IT IS SO DISGUSTING. That’s all I have to say. I don’t want to look at it any further. Also look at how dried out this wig is and this whole episode involves torrential rain. I DEMAND MORE WIG HUMIDITY DAMMIT.

Anyway, Max and Elle (smartly) hightail it out of there right before Billy and the lifeguard attack her parents for further demogorgon possessions and we get one last terrifying view of Billy’s wig. HORRIFYING.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE SAUNA TEST

So I’m really liking the whole Elle and Max vibe going along here. I also like that they weren’t dissuaded by the whole Billy being a possessed demogorgon thing to spoil their sleepover. IT CONTINUES! And not only that, Max is literally introducing WONDER WOMAN TO ELLE. I could watch an entire episode of this also because both of their hair isn’t too offensive and they’ve both discovered scrunchies. Mazel! But of course, the guys call in a code red and they have to hightail it over there to fix everything. Ain’t it always the way, ladies?

I would like to take a moment to talk about bowl cuts. So far, I have just lumped both Will and Mike’s bowl cuts into “awful” territory as all bowl cuts are awful. However, this episode gets a lot of shots of the back of Will’s head (because the back of his neck is always sensing those goddamned demogorgons). Anyway, it became very clear in this episode just how terrible this wig is as opposed to Mike’s terrible bowl cut actual hair. I consulted the internet, and apparently the kid who plays Will CUT HIS HAIR (which he was contractually obligated NOT to do) days before shooting began and the wigmaster had to scramble and make a wig literally out of the childhood cut hair of one of her assistants. READ IT ALL HERE. Despite her hustle, this wig sucks in the way that all man wigs suck: the back taper is just all off!! And with all those closeups of Will’s neck it is VERY DISTRACTING!! Billy officially is not the only one with a terrible man wig this season. But his is still the worst!

It did hide a bit under this sweet NIAGARA FALLS hat this episode. And his oily bohunk body was hidden under this sweatshirt which was a dead giveaway to all the kids that SOMETHING WAS AMISS HERE since Billy can barely keep a shirt on at school let alone the pool. Since Will knows that demogorgons (specifically the mind flayer?) like it CHILL, everyone was all: THIS DUDE IS STRAIGHT UP POSSESSED. Great work, kids! Also honestly, this whole lewk was giving me Weekend At Bernies realness and I was here for it (since it implies that Billy is dead which I would like very much please).

Meanwhile, Hopper’s anger management issues get PEAK BLOODY when he just beats the shit out of Cary Elwes (who is technically kind of his boss?) in demanding answers about that Terminator/motorcycle enthusiast who beat the shit out of HIM last episode. Oh, and just an FYI: Winona’s season 3 wig was along for the ride and was still looking great! I cannot say the same for Cary Elwes’s face!

Over at Scoops Ahoy, Steve and his superior wigless mane are doing some serious air duct work with the help of Lucas’s precocious sister. This whole plotline begs the question: do any of the parents of Hawkins ever know where their kids are?

Meanwhile, boring couple is on the rocks after having a really boring fight about whether it’s worse to be a woman or poor and they called it a draw I guess? Anyway, I haven’t spent much time talking about Nancy’s hair which is starting to look a little lumpy honestly and the article I read (link above) told me the bizarre fun fact that most of this hair is real and permed (duh) but that part of the undercarriage is remnants from Winona’s season 1 wig which is obviously why it looks so shitty. The more you know!

Anyway, after being fired by the #metoo boss (who is now also demogorgon possessed) for wanting to investigate why that old lady with the fertilizer eating rats is now also eating fertilizer, she turned to her mom - the one and only queen of Hawkins glamour - KAREN WHEELER. LOOK AT THIS GODDAMNED PERFECT LEWK. Mama Karen ended up giving her a very great motivational pep talk that legit made me cry (SERIOUSLY) about how she had to keep fighting and get the world out about this effed up fertilizer situation. She also delivered a sick burn about her constantly napping husband. I LOVE YOU KAREN.

Back at the town pool, all the kids concocted a Home Alone-style booby trap to get Billy into the sauna, crank up the heat, and prove that there is a heat-hating demogorgon inside him. It kind of worked except they also almost died during the battle royale between Billy’s inner demon (literal this time) and Elle.

Also I know that I demanded wig humidity last time but this is NOT WHAT I MEANT OMG THIS WIG IS A GHOSTMARE. Anyway, Elle saved the day (duh) for now by throwing Billy through a brick wall like he was the Kool-Aid man but seems like he’s forming a demogorgon army of possessed mole people so seems like it’s gonna be one crazy summer, you guys!

CHAPTER FIVE: THE FLAYER

Straight off the bat: this was a weird episode because it included neither my least favorite wigwearer, Billy, nor (SOB) my favorite wig wearer, KAREN WHEELER. So we were left with a bunch of other randos, mainly Soviets. We begin with Winona’s season 3 wig (looking a little rough around the edges in this episode, I am sad to report) and Hopper, fresh off the info he beat out of Mayor Cary Elwes, high tailing it to some farm owned by The Terminator dude. Under his bed, they find a bunker with these two dudes in it. Good morning!

Terminator dude, obvs shows up fairly immediately and lots of yelling, guns, and machismo ensue. In the end, the Terminator is briefly subdued by a fallen bookshelf and Winona’s season 3 wig, Hopper, and one of the rando Soviets escape but not without car troubles because: of course?

After Hopper’s truck explodes, they are all forced to walk through the woods while Winona’s season 3 wig hilariously tries to ask the non-English-speaking Soviet dude about magnets. It’s all pretty silly stuff but I’m here for Winona’s season 3 wig to get some comedic scenes instead of long suffering Christmas light crying scenes.

Anyway, they find a 7-11 where a lot of product placement and caffeine takes place, as well as Hooper yelling a lot for no reason which is essentially his entire character this season. Get some anger management classes, dude! Also the rando Soviet gets a slushie so between that and Billy’s icee last episode: WHAT A TIME FOR FLAVORED ICE WATER!

My absolute favorite part of the episode came next when Hooper commandeered a sweet convertible from this yuppie asshole. I’m not sure how often police commandeer vehicles in real life but I love it when they do it in movies because it’s always taking a car from some pompous idiot who clearly doesn’t deserve to drive (see: Speed, So I Married An Axe Murderer, etc). You can’t get more pompous or idiotic than this yuppie (named Todd, of course?!) with both a popped Polo shirt AND a blazer with zhuzhed sleeves AND white pants. THE NERVE OF THIS GUY FOR EVEN EXISTING! PLEASE TAKE HIS CAR! OMG HIS LICENSE PLATE IS TDFTHR! EVERYTHING IS JUSTIFIED!

Then Hopper, Winona’s season 3 wig, and the rando Soviet drive directly to Murray’s compound in Illinois. I’m bummed we have to suffer through Murray and his existence again since I’ll never forgive him for the gross pull-out couch jokes he made about #boringcouple’s sex romp at his house but here we are. He DOES speak Russian so let’s just get through this translation. Oh and obviously the Terminator dude questioned the 7-11 clerk so he’s probably on his way to Murray’s house now, hopefully to kill him so I don’t have to suffer through any more of his gross sex jokes.

Meanwhile, the Scoops Ahoy spy crew are still locked in that elevator they took way into the bedrock of earth/logic but somehow manage to escape when some (more!) rando Soviets come to unlock some deliveries. Then they discover the whole Soviet plan to reopen the Upside Down while also not being noticed by one single Soviet (great security, dudes!) except for this one Soviet who Steve beats up (GO STEVE!) I’d also like to say that Steve’s superior wigless mane is truly wonderful in this episode. The lights from the underground labs really bring out his summer highlights and it’s truly a thing of beauty. Uma Thurman’s daughter continues to have a 2019 beach wave blunt instagram cut not welcome in this 80s narrative please but otherwise she’s fine.

Over with #boringcouple, they got back together I guess? Remember at the end of season 1 when we were all deeply offended that Nancy was still with Steve and NOT Will’s brother (I refuse to believe he has an actual name). How things have changed! If Steve ever took back Nancy, I would be personally DEEPLY OFFENDED so I guess it’s fine she’s just still a #boringcouple but it’s still boring you guys. Even more boring: the actors are a couple in real life and have been for years! I just found this out this week and found it DEEPLY BORING.

Anyway, #boringcouple teams up with the tween gang to solve this whole fertilizer eating mystery and Nancy totally mommed it up when she put her shitty perm back in a banana clip and told all the kids to buckle up so she could drive her parents’ wood-paneled station wagon and honestly this section felt very Adventures in Babysitting so I’ll allow it. Also Will’s bro’s hair always looks like it was cut by a weed wacker and I’m not sure if this is a comment on his socioeconomic plight but truly Winona’s season 3 wig should get her kids better haircuts please. If her wig can improve so can theirs. In any case, at the missing lifeguard’s house, they vaguely put together some blood-related clues and then decide to visit the fertilizer eating grandma in the hospital.

Only fertilizer eating grandma ain’t there, hunties! Also please return all those flowers to their vase, please. Instead, #boringcouple apologized to each other for their boring fight in an elevator and then had to fight two possessed #metoo bros from the newspaper (which was very satisfying) while Elle and Mike basically starred in an M&Ms commercial in the waiting room. I honestly was hoping that #boringcouple would get possessed too but they ended up being ok (SIGH) and the back of Will’s bowl cut wig sensed danger so I guess Elle is just gonna have to fix everything in the next episode or 3.

CHAPTER SIX: E PLURIBUS UNUM

We begin, UGH, with #boringcouple who are still battling with (part of?) the mind flayer in the hospital and Nancy gets very Sigourney Weaver in Alien and I thought she was about to get flayed but sadly Elle saved her ass. Back at Hooper’s bunker, the whole gang is still basically relying Elle for both protection and sensory deprivation recon. Nancy gels her hair up for some reason (I hope she used DEP!) and Will keeps getting the tingles on the back of his terrible bowl cut wig. Max and Mike have a battle royale about who cares about Elle more and whether women can make their own decisions about their own telepathic powers which Nancy rightfully weighs in on (you go gurl?) But honestly, no one was protecting Elle from the real catastrophe here: WEARING CRISS CROSS SUSPENDERS THE WHOLE GODDAMNED EPISODE. Suspenders are fine and I’m glad Elle has found fashion, but maybe the kids can elect one of them as Elle’s suspenders advocate to avoid this in the future?

Meanwhile, Terminator dude still hasn’t caught up with Murray (sadly) and everyone in his bunker is still very much alive, at least until they die of lung cancer (ZING!) Anyway, Murray does a lot of Russian translation, rando Soviet dude throws a diva fit about slurpee flavors, Hopper continues his reign of anger management/alcoholism problems, and Winona’s season 3 wig is honestly not looking great. They do somehow figure out what the Russians are doing under Starcourt (they even make diagrams and use a lot of Burger King product placement to reenact nuclear scanarios!) And Hopper calls a secure line to demand backup back in Hawkins. Okay?

Back in Hawkins, Bloody Bloody Cary Elwes seems to have recovered from Hopper’s beating pretty nicely (as long as he keeps those shades on) and is very much invested in the 4th of July county fair he is PRODUCING (he even made signs crediting himself!) The Terminator dude demands answers about Hooper but no matter: JUST ENJOY THIS FAIR RIDE!

Speaking of people getting face beatings, Steve is getting absolutely SAVAGED by the Soviets. It was honestly very heartbreaking because he has somehow become the male MVP of this show, partially to do with his hair god status (EVEN WITH A BLOODY FACE HIS HAIR LOOKS SO GREAT!) but also because he’s become a really sweet guy and I just want him to catch a damn break! (Tho please continue to be broken up with Nancy - dear god!)

We shouldn’t be too worried about him getting back together with Nancy, though, because if it wasn’t clear from the moment Uma Thurman’s daughter was introduced: THESE TWO ARE OBVS GETTING TOGETHER. Her hair is still a very 2019 distraction but she’s def an upgrade from Nancy. However, after taking some weird Soviet truth serum (probably just LSD, right?) she admits that she harbored a crush on him way back in the 10th grade and also totally undermines her cool outsider status by admitting that all losers want to be popular (I DON’T KNOW IF ALL LOSERS STAND BY THIS GURL I HOPE THIS IS JUST THE LSD TALKING!) This whole section gives a lot of Some Kind of Wonderful realness and honestly that is a lesser John Hughes work so I’m not sure I can give any of this a passing grade. However, Dustin and my new favorite sass machine, Erica save the day with a nuclear cow prod! GREAT WORK KIDS! ALSO YOUR PARENTS DEFINITELY DON’T CARE WHERE YOU ARE! Speaking of parents, yet again the glamour of KAREN WHEELER did not grace itself in this episode and we were all worse for it.

Back at Hopper’s cabin, Elle decides to go nuclear with her sensory deprivation recon and we all have to welcome BILLY (UGH BILLY) and his terrible wig back. Anyway, he pushes her further into the recesses of his memory/all logic on an astral plane that can only be described as the place where Michelle Pfeiffer was in the Ant-Man sequel (IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT HOW VERY DARE YOU). So we get a lot of terrible childhood flashbacks which try to show Billy’s abusive tendencies to be learned from his horrible upbringing and truly: DO NOT MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT BILLY.

JUST LOOK AT THIS IDIOT. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Despite the humidity of his entire body, his wig remains a dried out hellscape that I would love to never see again for the rest of my days. Also he almost traps Elle in the astral plane they’re on JUST LIKE MICHELLE PFEIFFER IN THAT ANT-MAN MOVIE) but she escapes into the arms of Mike (fine sure) and then Billy explains that he and and his army of mole people have been waiting for Elle this whole time and: REALLY? That seems very specific but you do you, mole people. Oh also all those mole people (grandma fertilizer included!) all file into the rat warehouse and shapeshift into a disgusting mind flayer/demogorgon/blob nightmare. YAY!

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE BITE

Welcome to the Fun Fair (a Mayor Cary Elwes production!) Somehow he recovered from his terrible face beating to show some FACE at this thing. The whole town is there and ready for some 4th of July FUN that will definitely not be ruined by Russians or demogorgons.

Most importantly, this episode gave us the triumphant return of KAREN WHEELER! HER HAIR LOOKS AMAZING! She is bringing full out bouffant glamour to the Fun Fair and damn if she didn’t have this lewk done at Dolly Parton’s salon in Steel Magnolias. IT IS THAT GOOD. Clearly employing the “higher the hair the closer to god” theory - and not just hair-wise actually because this bish bribed some carnie to stop the ferris wheel at its highest point so that she and her family (at least the part of her family whose whereabouts she knows about) can enjoy some FIREWORKS. KAREN YOU MINX I LOVE YOU! HOW ARE YOU STILL MARRIED TO THIS DUDE IN GOLF PANTS?!

The top of the ferris wheel is also a perfect place to see the incoming demogorgon!! The back of Will’s bowl cut is getting the tingles too. And before Elle can fully explain her trip into Billy’s beach memories, the mind flayer is THERE, y’all, busting through the roof of Hopper’s cabin like it’s straight out of a 50s b-movie. I would like to note that for ONCE Winona’s house isn’t about to get trashed so mazel! #Boringcouple armed themselves with guns and axes but obvs they prove completely useless and the flayer is about to steal Elle away when they make a human chain and are victorious...FOR NOW.

Meanwhile, Dustin and Erica are dealing with a very drugged up Steve and Uma Thurman’s daughter and decide to lay low in a showing of (WHAT ELSE?): Back to the Future! They actually show so much of this movie that I’m assuming the entire wig budget went straight to Robert Zemeckis.

Over in the TDFTHER convertible, Winona’s season 3 wig is looking a damn MESS as is all the side projection of them getting back to Indiana. There’s a lot of bickering between Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper and finally my beloathed Murray has to meet his gross sex talk quota for the season and tells both of them to just have sex already and then he and the Soviet dude laugh a lot and OMG GET ME OUT OF THIS CONVERTIBLE.

#Boringcouple and the kids smash into a supermarket to get Elle some medical help for the leg that the flayer effed up. I’m not sure why a hospital wasn’t an option but it’s probably so there could be more 80s product placement like Mr. T cereal and a whole actual conversation about New Coke. Nancy’s hair is still VERY depped up. Max seems to have the most medical training from skateboard injuries and fixes Elle up pretty well while the dudes prove completely useless other than finding a treasure trove of fireworks. I guess most importantly, Elle was reunited with her ain’ true love: EGGOS. They hightail it out of there with a ton of fireworks that they definitely won’t (lol jk) use later. Oh and Elle’s blood kind of comes alive and Billy and his shitty wig come back to sniff her out. Gross.

Speaking of gross, Steve and Uma’s daughter left the very confusing (for them) screening of Back to the Future to go stare at the Starcourt ceiling to the point of barfing (which I honestly did not need to see TWICE or at all!) The barf did get the LSD out of their systems so now it’s time for truth talk and LURVE TALK! I really have to hand it to Steve for being completely face beaten and bloody and covered in barf and still having enough swagger to admit to Uma’s daughter that he has feelings for her (despite her 2019 hair) and just when I thought this show was so predictable, Uma’s daughter comes out as a LESBIAN!! What? Okay! To his credit, Steve pivots pretty easily to ally/friend and truly: HE IS THE BEST AND WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM. ALSO PLEASE GET HELP ON YOUR FACE WOUNDS AND YOUR HAIR STILL LOOKS GREAT.

NOR DO WE DESERVE THIS MUCH GLAMOUR TWICE IN ONE EPISODE. Karen Wheeler may look great but damn if she knows where her (or Winona’s season 3 wig’s) kids are. But let’s just enjoy this space ship ride! Also a rando carnie calls Hopper “Magnum” and: sick burn. Also there is a woman dressed up as Uncle Sam at the fun fair and between this drag king realness, Uma’s daughter, that one Jazzercise instructor, and (maybe/probably) Will, I’m so ready to throw a Hawkins Pride Parade. Karen is already wearing rainbow stripes!

Elsewhere at the fun fair, Alexei is having the time of his damn life winning a Woody Woodpecker with the support of 10000 children. Sadly, his joy is cut short when the Terminator dude kills him in cold blood. HARSH. Also Murray chooses to blame himself for not guarding him like he was supposed to and instead buying a corn dog. I AGREE, MURRAY: THIS IS YOUR FAULT PLEASE LEAVE. Then Hopper has a whole sequence with the Terminator dude (and some other rando Soviet baddies) in the funhouse which is the second time this season which felt like a weird homage to US and I guess I need to get Jordan Peele on the horn again about this. Anyway, Hopper gets ANOTHER face beating and so does Cary Elwes from Winona’s (also beat) season 3 wig.

Back at the mall, Steve and company are trying to just slip out with the rest of the movie crowd from Back to the Future but the Soviets are totally onto them and it looks like they’re about to be killed when (AGAIN) Elle saves the day by throwing a Chrysler LeBaron on them. GREAT WORK! Unfortunately, Elle is also receiving a threatening phonecall from a mini demogorgon and the call is coming from: INSIDE HER LEG.

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE BATTLE OF STARCOURT

So this demogorgon situation with Elle’s leg is pretty severe so Will’s brother (again name NOT NECESSARY) prepares for mall surgery based on stuff found at the Panda Express and literally gave her a wooden spoon to bite on as if this was happening during the Revolutionary War. The demogorgon leg removal is not working so as always, Elle just DID IT HERSELF because she may be the only capable person in this mall/town.

Hopper and Winona’s season 3 wig (not looking great) and (UGH) Murray show up and everyone compares notes on how to fix this whole mindflayer situation. Most importantly, Erica outsasses Murray and wins. Steve (rightly) gets the keys to the TDFTHER convertible to take him, Uma’s daughter, Dustin and Erica (now known as Scoops Troop) to Dustin’s radio tower. The rest of the tweens plus #boringcouple (now known as The Griswold Family because sure) are getting sent to Murray’s bunker and can’t they maybe stop and get Elle some medical attention on the way? No matter: they’re not going anywhere because Billy, possessed or not, still knows way too much about cars and stole their damn ignition cable. DAMMIT BILLY.

Steve is driving the Scoops Troop up a damn hill to the radio tower while listening to Jackie Wilson’s Higher and Higher which I’m sure is a Ghostbusters 2 reference and also Uma’s daughter looks exactly like her in the convertible driving part of Kill Bill and honestly all of these pop cultural references are getting tiring. Anyway, from the top of the radio tower, they can see the demogorgon closing in on the mall and Steve and Uma’s daughter hightail it back there.

At the mall, Elle is having some trouble moving that LeBaron to get the ignition cable - she can’t even move a damn coke can. WHAT GIVES? This does beg the question: since she has literally done all the heavy lifting this season, could she maybe call in a favor from her telepathic sister in Chicago? Why did this show even introduce that character - just to check off “punks” on their 80s pop culture list (note: DEFINITELY) But seriously, it’s like when Marvel makes a stand-alone superhero movie after an Avengers movie. SOMEONE GET THAT PUNK CHICK ON THE HORN!!! Anyway, Will gets some back of bowl cut tingles and the damn demogorgon smashes through the roof. Elle, Mike, and Max make a run for it through the gap, where the demogorgon confuses a mannequin wearing Elle’s same clothing and truly: the gap would NEVER sell this graphic eleganza! Did Esprit just not want to be involved in this whole mess because that is where she would have bought that. The rest of the tense gap scene plays out basically exactly like the kitchen scene in Jurassic Park. Meanwhile, #boringcouple is doing boring auto work while Billy just endlessly stalls in his evilmobile but is about to hit them when MVP hair god Steve saves the day and everyone piles into the station wagon. YAY!

Elsewhere, the Terminator dude has made it to the Soviet subbasement where Hooper, Winona’s season 3 wig and (UGH) Murray are now in Soviet apparel. Winona’s season 3 wig (looking great hidden under that hat) and Hopper have a nice talk and make plans for a legit date which definitely won’t be derailed by a demogorgon (lol jk jk). Murray manages to infiltrate the room where all the wires control the nuclear weapon the Soviets are using to open up the Upside Down and why wasn’t this room better guarded? Oh well. Much like sucking at guarding Soviets and not buying corndogs, Murray sucks at remembering important numbers which are the combination for the nuclear keys.

Of course the code is some nerdy equation that requires Dustin to ask fellow nerd (and girlfriend Suzie who exists!) for help. But not before Suzie demands that Dustin sing....The Neverending Story theme song. This is peak 80s cultural reference and we can all go home now. Also it is mainly an excuse for Galen Matarazzo to sing and sure: he and this chick sound great! Now please get those damn keys!

Elle, Max and Mike are confronted with (unfortunately still alive) Billy who beats the shit out of all of them and takes Elle. She’s about to get flayed when Lucas and Will throw all those damn fireworks on the demogorgon. Sure! Elle uses Billy’s memories to reason with him. This show definitely wants us to root for Billy all of a sudden because he turns on the demogorgon but I REFUSE TO LIKE BILLY WITH THAT DRIED OUT WIG IN THIS SWEATY MALL.

Back in the subbasement, Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper are ready to end this but the Terminator dude shows up. They duke it out very close to a nuclear warhead while Winona’s season 3 wig turns into MacGuyver and uses a belt to try to disarm both keys and bless her. Hopper throws the Terminator into nuclear generator thingie. Byeeeeee. Then Hopper looks back at Winona’s season 3 wig for long enough to definitely make it back into the safe glass room where she is but instead just gives a really long nod, signalling her to disarm the nuclear whatever thing and he definitely (absolutely does not) die.

However, all my hopes and dreams for Billy’s death finally came true! YAY FOR ME AND MY HATRED OF HIS TERRIBLE WIG AND HIS CHARACTER WHICH HAD NO REDEEMING QUALITIES NO MATTER HOW MANY BEACH FLASHBACKS TRIED TO PROVE OTHERWISE. I will say that his exit is VERY METAL so in some ways, this was the only appropriate death for his Metallica and Tank loving character. FINE. Two seconds after he and the demogorgon die, the feds show up with Paul Reiser! I am honestly very mad at this show for not blasting Pat Benatar’s Little Too Late during this entire sequence. OH WELL. Outside the mall Winona’s season 3 wig and Will’s terrible bowl cut wig are reunited in a bad wig hug. Then Winona’s season 3 wig catches sight of Elle and gives her a look that says: I am definitely adopting you.

Three months later, a fake Inside Edition show gets us up to date on the burning of the mall, government coverups, and comeuppance of terrible mayor Cary Elwes. Also Uma’s daughter (now with 80s appropriate updo!) and Steve are trying to get jobs at the video store! Uma’s daughter and her love of Billy Wilder movies make her a shoe-in for the job but Steve's taste in the Ewok Star Wars movie and the 5 minutes he saw of Back To the Future whilst on LSD don’t make him the best candidate. Also he trips over a Phoebe Cates cut-out and truly Phoebe Cates: thank you for your service in being name-checked constantly this season. In the end, Steve’s awesome hair gets him the job. Maybe?

Meanwhile, Winona’s season 3 wig is moving just like she said she was going to this whole season and no one believed her. Also she put her wig back in a ponytail and: good move it looks ok! Elle still doesn’t have her powers back but eh? She does get a heart-tugging letter from beyond the grave (he’s totally still alive) and all the kids/tweens/#boringcouple sob that they are being separated. It isn’t clear where Winona’s season 3 wig is going or how she could have sold her shitty house in the town that fake Inside Edition show called haunted. And yes, separating her now 3 PTSD kids from their only support group is also shitty but what has this goddamned town ever done for Winona and any of her seasons’ wigs other than stealing her children and killing her love interests and trashing that shitty house at least twice?! I SAY GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE (they will fully be back next season).

After collectively sobbing all their faces off, the tweens of Hawkins are left only with the ELEGANZA OF KAREN WHEELER and whatever healthy dinner she’s preparing with the help of some white wine. YOU KIDS ARE STILL LUCKY WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE KAREN WHEELER! Oh and back in Russia, Hopper is like 110% definitely still alive. See y’all next season!

FINAL VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ (YOU KNOW IT WAS BILLY’S FAULT)

#wigwurq #doesntwurq #strangerthings #hawkins #UGHBILLY #80sMALLWIGS #KARENWHEELER #EXPLODINGRATS #EXPLODINGRATTAILS #retailtherapy #glamourshots #girlsjustwanttohavefun #mallpower #raincoatfashions #wighumidity

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dimensionslip · 6 years

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Tales of the Stage - Those Who Inherit The Power of Lorelei - EMOTIONAL ACT (August 23, 2018)

What a long day it was!

In a nutshell, today's stage play was a lot more serious as promised (in contrast to how crazy the Yokohama stage　play was). It definitely felt more like Asch's story this time around, and anyone who adores him is very much in for a treat. There were also a lot more scenes with the Six God-Generals and Noir, with the Abyss party members taking more of a backseat this time around. I think this might be the closest we'll ever get to an Asch side for Tales of the Abyss. Aschtalia shippers will also love it a lot.

After the stage play, there was a talk show with Chihiro Suzuki (Luke's voice actor), Kazuki Yao (Dist's voice actor), Yuya Arai (Asch's stage actor), Orito Kasahara (Dist's stage actor), and Shunichi Takahashi (Jade's stage actor). Which, you can probably guess, is the reason why I picked this day to go, besides my already planned Saturday and Sunday viewings.

Anyway, without further ado, here's my personal experience for today, as well as a plot and talk show summary I've drawn up to the best of my abilities and memory!

Before the Stage Play

After hearing that Jade sold out pretty quickly yesterday, I took no chances for the merch line and arrived two hours early before they started selling stuff. It was a long wait under the sun as they had us line up outside the venue before letting us in 30 minutes before 4pm (the start of sales).

As I was the second in line, I managed to get everything I wanted! I lined up again a little later because I was curious about the items that sold out. The Dist bromide (Yokohama Arena version) and acrylic was the first to run out in about 20 minutes. Legretta's bromide (Yokohama Arena version) also sold out at around the same time. Not too long after, Jade's acrylic keychain also sold out. I'm so glad I came in early to get them, but man, they didn't really seem to stock too much of everything except Boy Asch, Luke, and Asch.

The wait for the theater opening itself (6pm) was made bearable by the fact that I managed to make a friend (aka the person who was as early as I was in lining up). Both of us are Jade and Dist fans (with matching Jade dolls too and what not), and it seems we both took the bait regarding the varied talk shows per day (today was Jade and Dist's turn).

Once the theater gates opened, we got the postcard (today was Jade and Dist) that changes for each showing. There were also a good bit of flowers. Jade, Dist, Tear, and Asch have the most.

Stage Play Summary

Note: Apparently some of these scenes were different from Day 1's show. As I have not gone to the said show, I do not know which is different or the same, so I'll be updating this on Saturday again to report on which scenes were unique to Day 2.

Before the stage play, Noir and her lackey Dino (if I'm getting the name right) fooled around a bit onstage. Noir's bromide sold out and Dino was talking excitedly about it. He also opened a blind box can badge in front of Noir, hoping he'd get Noir. He got Ion instead, which Noir pinned to her uhh... chest wrap, or whatever it is you call her clothes. Dino started taking a lot of pictures of her and kind of got skeevy a little later and got bonked by Noir as a result.

Kazuki Yao (as Dist) narrated the story introduction, complete with Dist's trademark laugh. He made it a point to emphasize that Jade was his rival.

The story opens with boy Asch escaping, and Dist running after him. Dist got a clunked on the head for his trouble, Van reassured him that it's not a problem that Asch escaped. Asch got stopped at the gates and was laughed at, and everything more or less proceeds as the Abyss plot did.

The boy Asch actor didn't join in the Karma dance, but he did appear in several of Asch's dream/nightmare sequences/flashbacks. It was sprinkled throughout the play and was a nice touch, and definitely added to the overall Asch-feel of the stage play.

As with the Yokohama stageplay, the Karma dance was montage-y at some parts for the God-Generals. Also since I pay extra attention to Jade, he somersaults into the stage, sights Dist, then walks away when the latter tries to chase him.

They had some pre-game scenes here that were never in the game or anime, aka an opportunity to showcase how stuff in Daath went. Like, Anise being busy with Ion. Dist presenting Tokunaga to her was also included here, as well as a bit of showcasing of how their awkward friendship works. I love it so much. There was also Arietta having some trouble with paperwork and trying to get Sync to help her. Legretta eventually ends up aiding her instead, and she kinda felt motherly here. Van also had a fatherly moment when the God-Generals met up with him and Arietta presented her paperwork to him proudly, but it did come off as a little creepy given what we know of Van.

But yeah, during that meeting, Van also poked fun at Asch's dislike of octopus as a joke. Basically it all felt like they were the dysfunctional family that the anime or game semi-implied but did not quite emphasize.

Luke and Tear end up in what I suspect to be Cheagle Woods, but the area wasn't named. The main party also had their entrances at around this point (including Guy and Natalia, who aren't slated to join until way later, game-wise). Guy's introduction ("Enter the amazing Guy") kept on getting interrupted by Natalia, which was hilarious.

Later on, we get to see a similar scene as the Yokohama Arena showing, where Asch visits Nam Cobanda Isle to make a deal with Noir. Noir's backstory also comes out here. A random kid gives Asch his most treasured possession, which is a doll.

I think this was around this time that Asch had another one of his dreams about the past again. As I've mentioned earlier, this is a recurring thing throughout the stage play. They also got the Natalia actor (I think) to dress up as child Natalia for these flashbacks.

There was a huge skip to what I assume to be Deo Pass (prior to Akzeriuth), where the party battles it out with the Six God-Generals. Natalia sees Asch's face and they end up having a long moment staring at each other, and she seems to realize something, but does not have much time to dwell on it. Guy and Sync get some curse slot action going here as well.

Akzeriuth more or less proceeds as it does, including the Abyss classic "ore wa warukunee". However, at Ortion Cavern, there was an added scene where Jade talks about his past with Dist, and there's an enacted flashback for it. For this adaptation, younger Jade and Dist (in lab coats) were in Hod when it was collapsing, and that's how Jade came to know about Van's real name. Note that in the game, Jade had never actually stepped a foot inside Hod. Even if this wasn't canon compliant, it was still interesting to see because, yay, more Jade and Dist scenes. Action scenes, that is. Though Dist (Saphir then), wasn't really any good with them battles and just kept on trying to dodge things.

It was around this time (or a little earlier), that Mohs was talking to Largo about something interesting that he heard (aka the circumstances of Natalia's birth), and was heavily hinting that he knew something about Largo too. Largo just brushes it off.

Speaking of Largo, earlier he also had a moment with Asch, something like acknowledging that they have the same feelings regarding a certain issue. I think it was Natalia-related, but my memory is a little fuzzy at this point in time.

There was a part where Asch was more apparently in pain, and Dist, like in the Yokohama Arena showing, ends up mocking-slash-word-vomiting at Asch regarding his state (the Big Bang). While Dist was going on his spiel, Noir and Dino were nearby, poorly hiding as they overheard everything. Once Asch chases off Dist, Noir voices some concern over his well-being, but also ends up reporting that Natalia is in trouble (Mohs was going up with his reveal regarding Meryl and Natalia being a "fake" princess). Asch ignores his extreme pain and runs off.

As with the Yokohama Arena show, we got to do the Natalia chant with the penlights along with Noir and the Dark Wings.

Asch and Van also have their battle here, which Asch has the upper hand in until he gets a seizure, which Van takes advantage of by stabbing his arm and literally twisting a knife (err, sword) into it. Same as the Yokohama Arena show, and just as "oww" to watch.

Absorption Gate was also another opportunity to showcase some of the party's talents. I was only expecting somersaults and stunts from Jade (who delivered!), but Tear also had her own cartwheels and it was pretty impressive. Van still had his dance numbers but they were very much shortened. Also Jade featured quite prominently in the Absorption Gate battles, I feel. And there even was a part where he seemed to be dancing it off with Van.

Sync was in the Absorption Gate battle and once his mask broke and he got on this diatribe, he committed suicide with a sword. Later on, he gets revived along with Van.

Luke and Asch receive their parts of the Key of Lorelei. Asch has a scene with Noir at around this time too, where he asks Noir to return the doll he received from the child earlier on in the stage play. But something happened to the doll's face, I think? Dino said something but I wasn't able to catch all of it.

Then there's a huge skip to Eldrant, where the party have their final showdown with the Six God-Generals. Natalia and Asch have a moment too over here. So we have the following:

Anise vs Arietta: Poor Arietta, she had that scene where she hallucinates her mother and Ion before she dies.

Jade vs Dist: Jade makes quick work of Dist's robots after going "Sayonara, Saphir". Which did not feel as heartfelt as the game or anime, but I'm glad they included that. The battle ends when Jade steals Dist's flowery wheels and Dist chases after him.

Tear vs Legretta: Legretta has more or less the same death scene lines, with Tear being equally devastated.

Natalia vs Largo: Quite similar to the game as well, with Largo being proud of his daughter before dying, and Natalia calling him father

Guy (and later on Anise) vs Sync: Similar to the anime, and Sync has a moment where he impersonates Ion in the heat of battle, which throws off Anise

Luke vs Asch: Similar to how it goes in the game, with a few twists. Luke sees Asch getting turned into a pincushion and was definitely very hesitant to leave him like that.

All of the God-Generals except Dist dies. There is a scene after Asch dies where the Natalia in his dream finally finds him (prior to that, it was always him just chasing after Dream!Natalia), and gets the flower crown, plus a realization of the place he belongs in. We also get to see (briefly) the God-Generals that have died in the said sequence. A good number of people were in tears at this point.

In the final battle against Van, Asch from the beyond gives Luke a pep talk. After which, Luke uses Lost Fon Drive to defeat Van. And I guess it's time for a small random note--everyone in the party (plus Asch) got to use their Mystic Artes throughout the stage play, except for Jade. But that aside, the post-Eldrant scene was cut a little short, with only Tear saying her piece about wanting Luke to come back. But Luke and Jade do share a nod before it cuts to Luke fulfilling his promise to Lorelei.

They tried to recreate the whole Luke-falling-to-the-core scene as faithfully as they can. I think that they could not have the Luke stage actor carry Asch the whole time, so they substituted for a projection. Still was nice.

"The Look of that Day" starts playing, and we get the epilogue scene, which proceeds more or less as it did in the game and the previous stage plays (with the Luke stage actor in the Mr. Ending costume), BUT. Besides using a more Lorelei-ish voice for him (it's the Mr. Ending voice, overlapped with some other voice), we get a silhouette of Asch too (in a similar costume, iirc) after Mr. Ending exits the stage.

When I looked around and the lights went on, it seemed that more people were in tears by the time the after talk show was to start.

After Talk Show Summary

Kazuki Yao was dressed up in a flowery print Hawaiian shirt and shorts combo, with a t-shirt that had a glittery skull on it. It was a highly unexpected turn of events and earned many laughs.

Chi-chan made sure to emphasize we're getting Double Dist today. And kept calling Jade's corkscrew a dragon screw.

Some of the questions and answers I can remember (paraphrased):

(1) What thing did you have to be careful about when portraying your character? Yao: Apparently he thought Dist was an "okama" (roughly "drag queen"), but in the middle of recording, he was told that Dist is not an okama and it was difficult to adjust. Kasahara: He did a lot of research, and tried his best to imitate Yao's voice for Dist. (he's playing through Abyss and I think got Shiro no Ashita and Tsuioku no Jade manga) Takahashi: Jade's spectacularly long hair. (which I imagine got in the way in a lot of stunts... he needed to keep flipping it away lol)

I can't remember what Arai said for Asch, unfortunately.

(2) Since we have Double Dist today, name something good about Dist. Suzuki: Very forward-looking and positive. Arai: He has a beautiful color. (said after facing Dist and looking at him for a long time) Takahashi: Let me just describe what happened when it was the Jade stage actor's turn. > Dist and Jade face each other and are sitting way close. > Jade: (after a long stare) Nothing. > Dist: (looking affronted) Ehh??! There must be something!!

If I recall correctly, Jade reaffirms the no, but definitely, shortly after this, Dist starts playfully grabbing Jade's knees and goes all "JEIDOOOO". Kasahara-san and Takahashi-san were so cute together...

Anyway, the winners for the picture-taking lottery were announced at the end of the talk show. Didn't win, but I did have a lot of nice memories to take home, which I feel was very much precious in itself.

Personal Thoughts

As with the previous stage plays, I feel it's best to watch this while being well aware of TOA's story. They skip around a lot and omit a lot of things, and I feel it's easier to appreciate the additions with that said background in hand.

I really loved the stage play as an Asch side type of deal. It's a refreshing way of looking at the story, and as I've mentioned, they really made good in making this feel like it's Asch's story. The party members taking the sidelines (including Luke) was a consequence of this, but it all felt natural. I liked seeing more of the Six God-Generals too.

Accounting for my Jade bias, I'm satisfied with regard to his level of presence in an Asch-centric story. I think he had even more stunts here than the last one he was in, but that could be my wishful imagination at work. I also feel his character was a lot more interesting with Dist around, rather than a standalone.

Asch was definitely the star of the show, but I still love Kasahara's Dist. He's such a great Dist and I'm glad they got him on board. His research certainly looks like it paid off--he looks the part and acts the part. I think a lot of people are charmed by his performance too, which also may factor in to Dist running out today (besides today being Jade and Dist talk show day), and during the last TalesFes. I also noticed that people in the trade search on Twitter have been searching for his karaoke trading card too (Jade, of course, is still the crowning king of rare).

I still feel that Reo Kawamura's Guy is a bit lacking, but he had a lot more to do this stage play, so it wasn't as bad as the previous stage play in Yokohama Arena. As far as successors to Kou Hosokawa's Guy was, I think he's fine--it's just that Hosokawa's performance feels difficult to top, in my opinion.

I cannot tell which among the stage play scenes were different or added for the day, so I guess I'll discover on Saturday what may have changed. I definitely look forward to that and the talk show, in any case. Will post again on Saturday and Sunday with the said differences, but until then, I hope you enjoyed this report! If you have any questions that I have not addressed, please feel free to drop by my ask box!

#tales of the abyss #asch the bloody #natalia luzu kimlasca lanvaldear #jade curtiss #dist the reaper #tales of the stage #event report #tales of #just my two cents #aschtalia #jadist #well it's more distjade but i guess that tag works too

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allwritealreadysaysbliss · 6 years

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For Now, Chicago

November 6th would have been my 10-year anniversary in Chicago. But at the end of October, I moved back to LA, where I grew up, just two weeks shy of this deca-milestone.

The 6th came and went like it always does: the day passes and some time the following week, I wake up and think, “Oh! My Chicago anniversary.” And suddenly every dolt husband in every sitcom about marriage makes sense to me.

I moved to Chicago a few months after graduating from the University of Michigan. I didn’t want to be near my immediate family, and I didn’t want to go to New York where almost every single person I knew was moving. New York overwhelmed me and exacerbated my anxiety. The filth. The crowds. A decision I often worry was a mistake. I grew apart from groups of people who all spent their early 20s living in small apartments they couldn’t afford, eating $20 salads they couldn’t afford, and partying like college never ended. They bonded through survival of The City in a way I will never make up for, though I’ve tried. But for me, then, Chicago felt like the right place to be. I liked that Chicago had the central city feel of New York – a business district, skyscrapers, public transportation (I didn’t want to take it, I just liked the character it added to the city), walkups, a bustling downtown where other recent grads were centrally located – but with the sense of space of L.A. – neighborhoods, manageable driving, people who smiled. The best of both worlds.

I liked the idea of forging my own path and starting over. I had spent long weekends off school in Chicago with my college roommate, enough to decide I liked it there, and I had some family in the suburbs, a safety net I thought. The city was fun and alert (a tempered version of the indescribable Energy people attribute to NY) and I already knew from Ann Arbor that I liked the generally gentle natures of Midwestern people.

Often, I think back through my ten years in Chicago (that barely feel like two maybe three); it’s usually around my birthday or New Year’s Eve. I try to scroll through the mental montage of how I’ve celebrated each of these occasions (though I still maintain that birthdays should be a celebration of the mother, not the child), then end up spiraling into the broader memory flip-book of how I’ve spent each year, month, day. And every time, I come to the same place: what the fuck have I been doing for the last (four, five, eight, ten) years?

I don’t have a concrete answer. I don’t have any of the things I thought I’d find in Chicago – a husband or at the very least, a serious boyfriend, children, a lucrative career. That list we’re “supposed” to have checked off by our 30s is mostly if not entirely unmarked.

I made friends (the day I picked up my keys to my first Chicago apartment) with a group of med students who entirely composed my social circle for two-and-half years and with whom, I’ve since lost touch. I got to spend quality time with cousins and their kids, and I met and got close to my dad’s first cousins (and their kids and grandkids). I lived alone, I lived with roommates, I lived back in LA in 2011 for five weeks before returning to Chicago for a job as an assistant account executive at an ad agency…my first real job. I shifted paths at the same agency and started copywriting in Chicago. I got laid off from my first real job in Chicago. I found doctors I liked and trusted and have recommended to newcomers. I learned to take the El (a greater accomplishment than I wish to admit, but my anxiety makes crowded, enclosed, dirty spaces unbearable). I got sick…a lot – colds, flus, sliced-open foot from a broken bottle at a bar, strep so severe my tonsils swelled until they closed off my airway. (I was in the ER so frequently that when I moved home for those five weeks, it felt like Chicago had gotten what it wanted – rid of me.) I welcomed and housed old friends who were newly making Chicago their home and said goodbye to those who were moving on. I went to parties. I went to therapy. I went to too many Lollapaloozas. I turned 30 in Chicago. I got to watch most of my friends get married and become parents in Chicago. I signed up for Instagram and (resigned to) online dating in Chicago. I had my first (brief) relationship in Chicago. I struggled with my intimacy issues in my first (brief) relationship in Chicago. I became friends with guys I dated and told a good friend I had feelings for him (for the first and only time) in Chicago. I adopted my cat in Chicago. Her name is Phoebe; she’s perfect. I started, but didn’t finish, a double master’s program in special and elementary ed at DePaul. I completed a post-baccalaureate program in creative writing at Northwestern. I found Yolk, my favorite restaurant. I took a million dance classes, hosted college dance team reunions that slept 15 people in my one-bedroom apartment, and refused to admit I wasn’t dancing anymore, even though I wasn’t dancing anymore, in Chicago. I got drunk and saw concerts and argued with friends and made up with friends and took trips that I returned home from to Chicago. I complained about the weather and the traffic and bills in Chicago. I overshared with “work friends” who then became “real friends” in Chicago. I was in a dinner club and a bromance and found my “market buddy” and my “sister wife” (an altered definition in which I marry a bestie’s brother) in Chicago. I tried new restaurants and ate until I felt sick in Chicago. I struggled with depression so deeply in Chicago, I wondered if anybody would even notice if I disappeared. I felt abandoned by people in Chicago. I felt more support than I’ve ever felt before in Chicago. I accepted help when I needed it most in Chicago. I decided to (and went through two cycles trying to) freeze my eggs in Chicago. I faced my OCD in a way I never had before in Chicago. (I didn’t have a choice. The cleaning and thought cycles became so repetitive, they started affecting my functioning, my relationships, my ability to get to work, my ability to hide it from friends. I considered and tried medication for the first time in Chicago.) I decided fall was my favorite season and pumpkin patching was my favorite activity. I poached friends and sang car duets and ate cheese plates and truffle fries and truffle chickpeas and truffle everything and created inside universes. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe, until my eyes watered, until I forgot why I was laughing. I stole clothes from people in Chicago – a bad habit I’ve always had. I asked an immeasurable number of questions in Chicago. I lost my virginity in Chicago. I had my first heartbreak in Chicago. I created an invaluable family of friends for myself in Chicago.

And I found improv in Chicago. Almost by accident. Entirely by kismet. Improv changed my life. And when I fall upon the feeling of regret I never lived in New York, I remind myself of what I likely would have missed. I would not have found the people and community I found through improv, the tenets of an art form that are, at their most basic elements, a beautiful way in which to live, the belief in myself that I can do what I’ve always wanted to do. I would not have discovered storytelling or my voice. I would not have found this outlet that has become an integral part of my mental health. I would not have been able to experience my last five years in Chicago with the same sense of novelty. I would not have found myself. When I think of that list of things I wish I had by now, I wonder if it remained unfulfilled because I wasn’t who I was meant to be yet. (I do wish I’d found improv earlier, but what can you do?)

I became a person in Chicago.

Thank you to the people who shaped me while I was there and who will continue to be part of the story.

Chicago will always be home. I will forever be grateful for the space it gave me. And I know, when I need to, I can always rest my head on its broad shoulders and breathe.

#chicago #loveletter #bye for now #thankyou #thankyouletter #moving #second puberty #growing up

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sshbpodcast · 3 years

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Fwooming by in the Star Trek opening title sequences (Part 1)

By Ames

Television shows have to tell you what show it is and list all the major players at the top somehow (how else would we see the title cards?!), and how they do so has naturally evolved over the years. On the podcast this week, A Star to Steer Her By is reviewing all the different incarnations of opening title sequences of Star Trek series and one thing is for certain: you’re gonna see the ship fwoom by a lot. In fact, sometimes that’s all you’re gonna see.

So how do they all compare? Watch them along with us below and listen to our coverage in this week’s episode (opening title sequence chat starts at 1:04:07) as we count all the ways you can pan a camera over a model of something or other while music swells. Fwoom!

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Star Trek: The Original Series

We’re tempted to give this one a passing grade just because it was the first in the Trek universe and the technology of the 60s wasn’t going to be the level of advanced that we’re used to today. Even the remastered edition (Season 3 is seen above) is just so simple as to be repetitive. It’s the first in a line of opening sequences that has nothing but the ship fwooming by, delivering names to us, as boringly as possible, but back in the day we loved it.

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Star Trek: The Animated Series

We’ve got to give some shit to The Animated Series because it’s supposed to be a… well, you know… an animated series but it’s just not all that animated. It’s basically a carbon copy of the TOS opening title sequence but with their patented lousy graphics that don’t hold up to the test of time in the slightest. Talk about just plain lazy.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation

We’ve got some planets at the start, so at least that’s something with a little more interest, but then it’s just shots of the Enterprise-D (which, granted, looks pretty nice in the remaster of the 3rd through 7th seasons you see above since seasons 1-2 are a little less CGI’ed) doing more fwooms by. It’s basically the same issue we had with the TOS sequence: it’s just kinda dull after the first couple screens and we’ve still got the rest of the cast names to go.

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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Seasons 1-3 The first three seasons of DS9 saw literally just the model of the station from every possible angle for the opening title sequence. After the series premiere, “Emissary”, the wormhole at the end is added at the end (as you’ll see in the embedded video above), but the shots are even more static than the repetitive ship flybys in TOS or TNG. We know this isn’t a series about a ship going on adventures, but we don’t get the impression we’ll have any adventure, period.

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Seasons 4-7 For season 4, not only did the series theme change a little, but the opening sequence also put some more effort in and it was so worth it. It’s the same footage of the station as before, but with added ships visiting, people fixing pylons, the Defiant roaming around, and more shuttlecraft on missions, and all of it made everything feel like occasionally things happen in this show. Who knew?

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Star Trek: Voyager

Finally! We have some adventure in our opening title sequence. We’re even impressed that the visual effects still hold up today! The graphics are all quite pretty, we get a real sense of dynamism like the show is actually going somewhere with the Voyager actually involved in various activities, and it pairs beautifully with the song we loved so much. We’re into this one.

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Star Trek: Enterprise

This one’s a little on the confusing side. If we ignore the song entirely (which is why we’re watching only one version of this intro), what we’re left with is a montage of humanity’s historical steps toward space flight, up until the end when we’re at the period of the show. It’s a suitable and interesting concept for a prequel series, but it also feels like it has distanced itself from actually representing Star Trek. This could be a history show if not for the couple of seconds of ship shots at the end. Weird.

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“In a Mirror Darkly” We’re still a little bit tickled by the efforts made in the Enterprise mirror universe episodes, and its opening title sequence is no different. It’s the same style of title sequence, but evil, and that’s kind of hilarious. We also get way more of the actual ship than in the usual series sequence, which we always like to see. Kudos to the team for embracing the campiness of the mirror universe – truly the only way to go with it.

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We’ve fwoomed enough for one post. You’ll see that the opening sequences of modern Trek series will reflect a new, less fwoom-filled aesthetic. Check them out in Part 2 of this activity, along with which ones are our favorites and least favorites.

#star trek #star trek podcast #podcast #opening title sequence #the original series #the animated series #the next generation #deep space nine #voyager #enterprise #mirror universe #starships #fwoom #Youtube

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comickergirl · 7 years

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Wolf Girl of Hope Street -- Behind the Scenes

Okay, so, I had initially hoped to put together this sort of...process post...thing much sooner, but. Work and general laziness threw a wrench in that plan, and it’s only because I was cleaning my desktop and stumbled across the .jpegs I’d saved that I was like: ‘hmmmm...I should do this...so that I can delete this folder. It’s cluttering up my screen.’

THUS, here we are, about to embark on a truly magical journey through the weird process that is comic-making.

(Well. My weird process.)

ONWARD!

Step 1: Script Step 1: Outline Step 1: IDEA

So last year, I did a 30 day countdown prior to the premiere of Supergirl’s second season, the theme of which was basically...all the different costumes (and by extension sometimes, different versions) of Supergirl. I sort of went back and forth on whether or not I wanted to follow that up this year, and was largely undecided until...about a week before the countdown clock was set to begin. (Another thirty days, because...IDK that just seems like a good number.)

The reason for the indecision was mostly due to the fact that I knew I didn’t want to do more costumes (though there are more) but I didn’t really know...what else to do.

I considered doing favorite moments from the comics/show, but I deemed that too complicated. (In hindsight: Ha. Ha HA.)

So the brainstorming that led to COMIC went something like this:

- Okay I should draw something. - What should I draw. - ....I like to draw comics. - ....Silly comics. - ....Maybe I’ll draw a silly comic. - Like a newspaper strip. - One page per day.

And lo, t’was decided.

Step 2: Outline

Once I was like: COMIC PAGES. LET’S DO THIS. I...kinda had to come up with an idea quickly because I had under a week to 1. write a script 2. get some buffer pages finished 3. make sure this was even possible wrt how long pages would take to complete + work schedule + SECOND work schedule + addressing basic life-sustaining needs like sleep and eating.

So I wrote up this very broad outline at my desk at work within like...fifteen minutes.*

*I’ve had an idea/desire to do a werewolf Kara comic since I drew the OG ‘Wolf-Girl of Stanhope’ a year ago. So some elements I had ready to go, like the basic running gag of ‘she acts like a dog.’ But OTHER elements, like Krypto and Bizarro, came out of that frenzied fifteen minutes.

Oh, yeah: I drew exactly ONE exploratory sketch to see if this would work for TV!Kara. (Again, also at my desk at work. On my lunch break, though, obviously.)

(I was like: ...Yup okay that’ll work.)

Step 3: ‘Script’

Can we even call this mess a script I really don’t know.

Honestly it’s probably more along the lines of a revised outline than it is an actual script. There’s no dialogue or panel descriptions, just the main story beats each page needs to hit in order for the plot to move forward. That’s kind of how I work in general--I figure out the panels/layout as I draw, working off a sort of...’we start here and we need to get HERE’ thought process. As for dialogue, I have a basic idea of what they’re going to say, but it’s kind of left until the end.

(Below are some notes I made as I was going along--changes to pages and actual text/dialogue I did write down because I wanted specific wording, and I knew I’d forget if I didn’t save it.)

Step 4: Art

(Not much to say here, other than I never did get that cache of buffer pages. These were drawn the day before, and often times finished the day of, hence the inconsistent posting times.) (Also if this endeavor has taught me one thing, it’s that I am not a letterer.)

And heeeeere’s the original crayon drawings I did for Bizarro’s explanation:

Step 5: Interwebs

This is pretty self explanatory, I feel. Once the pages were completed...OUT ON THE INTERNET THEY WENT. They were specifically designed ‘for the web’ as it were, and not for print. (Which is just code for: I like to work horizontally and that SUCKS for printing.)

But yeah that’s...that’s basically it. Oh, no, wait! Couple more things:

The Science Montage

This was one of those changes that came about as I was drawing the pages. There was always going to be some sort of DEO montage wherein Alex and Kara would work on making a cure. The musical aspect, however, was added in because...you know. Why not?

A big shout-out and thank-you to @tallgaycroquembouche and @winnstonchurchill who both did REAL LIFE renditions of the Science Montage Song.

And on the topic of shout-outs and thank-yous, @nieladasdenani needs ‘em as well, for adding links to previous pages on some of the posts.

And, really, a big shout-out and thank-you to everyone who read this goofy thing. Hopefully it was enjoyable, and hopefully this (very long) process post was also...somewhat enjoyable? Enlightening? If nothing else, now you know how incredibly slapdash this all is. XD

Anyways. THANKS :D

#WGoHS #my art #silly comic process #long post

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Hakuna Matata

The Outstanding

The Verdict

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 7 years

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Apparently there’s a bonus if you watch until the end of the 5th ep of Netjuu no Susume…I’ve seen it, or else I wouldn’t be telling you it exists.

I’ve rolled out the simulcast commentary tags for the seasonal shows that don’t have tags yet (aside from Netjuu no Susume’s replacement when that time comes).

Plus, as you can see in the title…there’s the Boueibu OVA in this bundle of notes, for completion’s sake.

Houseki no Kuni 3

That snail sure is a lively thing.

Really? A poop joke? Well, that’s one way to rub Phos’s new state into Dia’s face.

…welp, not much to talk about this time, I guess.

Houseki no Kuni 4

What the heck? The snail has a type???

This OP is lovely. Its best aspect is the visuals, though. It sounds kind of plain compared to even Saturday Night Question (Netjuu no Susume).

That snail makes a nice wig for Master Kongo, doesn’t it?

I’m listening to this show for the first time, and Phos uses “boku”, interestingly enough.

The snail's urge to go back to its home in the sea reminds me that lots of Chinese people go back to their country for Chinese New Year. I wonder if the same sentiment is involved in both instances?

The ED is nice, but not as good as the OP.

Houseki no Kuni 5

Watermelon? I feel sorry for the gem which has that name.

Ahh! These jellyfish are cute (and practical)!

“No getting all weak-kneed now!” – Says Phos, who’s got legs potentially harder than their body.

Houseki no Kuni 6

Trust exercises. I did some with some members of my anime club once. (Haha.)

I noticed the spikes were blue, so they might be Sapphire. It’s kind of like Rabbit’s necromantistry (Juuni Taisen), but…in a slightly different form.

Girls’ Last Tour 3

Kanazawa???? *thinks about King’s Game, where the protag and the author share the surname Kanazawa*

There’s some extremely glaring CGI during this episode. For a moment, you can discern Chi’s made of CGI while in her Kettenkrad.

Please don’t ship the grown man with the loli.

That’s some grim humour they attempted with Kanazawa. Kinda like Zetsubou-sensei (Nozomu Itoshiki).

Boueibu OVA

I almost wasn’t going to cover this, because it’s an OVA, but hey, why not make an exception? This may be the last time we Boueibu fans can talk about this stuff again…(Plus I think I’ll have volume for the entire thing if I hurry.)

Haha, the volleyball scene. Notice En talks first.

Yumoto’s being basic as always. *sighs happily*

Trump, eh? The word for playing cards is trump, but…y’know?

(about “graduating in a storm of cherry blossoms” and En saying it sounds lonely) I was just about to say that, En. However, that may just be OVA feels speaking.

Itsumo Ichiban? Rememer that guy? Well, there’s Itsumo’s brother on Kin-chan’s list. You can tell because he’s literally Itsumo Nisan. Geddit?

(about Zundar’s meeting with Kin-chan) The manga! It was correct after all!

Yep, that’s exactly how it went 2 years ago. In fact, I think it might be recycled content…(?)

Wombat speaks very formally. I learnt about keigo in the past year so I only picked up on that this time around.

The word used by Aki is “sad” according to the subs, but hazukashii means “embarrassing”, which puts a new spin on it.

They’re literally just using montages of s1, which is why I want Pony Canyon to bundle the OVA with s2. It’s more money, but for the consumer, it’s more worth it. However…having Bi…Egoism in an anime segment at all is new.

Akoya must be popular in the fandom. Either that or the staff are acknowledging how unloved he is.

Yay! It’s Star the VEPPer!

It’s good that each of these side characters is getting their own montage. Plus we’re getting official translations of the character songs, which is the best thing you can get for free when character songs aren’t distributed normally in most cases.

4th wall breaking! I guess you never expected that, eh? (Actually, you probably did, considering it’s been a montage for almost everyone now.)

(I love En’s little snarks in the middle of the song.) The only one left after this is Atsushi, right? Update: Oops, forgot Kin-chan. Sorry Kin-chan.

I never really realised Atsushi’s song was so hard rock compared to En’s more pop-like one.

“But do I really have that fire inside of me?” – I think I heard the song go atsui which is a real funky (in a good way) pun on Atsushi’s name.

Aww, they missed out in such a good pun! Haru went haru and Aki went aki. The translator didn’t pick up on that though…aww.

Whoa! Yumoto got all scary! Botan Yuzuru though…gotta look into that later for magicalgirlsandcerulean.

This (Spanish?) guitar reminds me of this track from The Dog Island.

A-ha! This is what you get when you translate the Japanese in the ads too.I was quite right indeed, although it really is the dang 132nd graduation ceremond.

It’s literally a button monster. Don’t wanna mash his buttons! (I bet you’re all groaning from my jokes, ahaha…)

Dadacha’s voice sounds kinda ridiculous now because Yasumoto is clearly using the deeper voice he normally uses for Zundar.

Notice the monster’s face is made from the character 高 (the first character in the Japanese word for “high school”).

Salty Sol is still salty after all this time…sad life.

That train station is the same one from the beach episode!

I’ve seen enough spoilers so I know where this is going…I already identified in the spoiler chat what Wombat is going to catch as a reference to a Kenji Miyazawa work.

This train is somewhat obviously CGI…

Spinach curry? When’d Wombat eat that?

Ths slideshow appears to be all the clean art for everything they’ve ever produced in the Boueibu canon! Even events and collabs!

“So wipe away your tears.” – I’m not crying, you are…*tear leaks from corner of eye*

I don’t recognise two of those pictures…(EnAtsu beach pic and a yukata one with the Defence Club on the roof.)

Oh…my…it’s over? Well, frankly I was expecting the fandom’s end in 2015…so, here’s to the future. Farewell, and remember: love is forever! Separations are only a new beginning!

Netjuu no Susume 6

That was a really bad Glico man in the back (of Koiwai)…

I think something’s wrong with my eye. It just gave off a few tears…(kidding tone)

Whose car is this that Morimori-chan is sitting in??? Update: It’s a taxi. Whoops.

I think Morimori-chan used the word douryou (colleagues, coworkers) instead of employees. The word for employees would probably be very different.

Nikunokiya??? (thinks about Kinokuniya)

(Koiwai goes Ai no chikara ne…) Boueibu reference…kind of.

Notice Koiwai said he was low on health in the text but he said zombie in the Japanese. That’s where Fruits de Mer comes in for Morimori-chan.

“There’s no way I’d say something like that!”

I think the cup this ED is new. Plus the headphones.

Oh! I spotted Morimori-chan with the medium length hair in the background of Sakurai’s bit of the ED.

There are some blurry pictures of Koiwai in the ED and they’re so hilarious!!!

So the ED actually evolves along with the show. Interesting.

Juuni Taisen 7

Rabbit stores his blades in his tail. That’s weird, but funny.

Literally, the episode title is “Dragon Head, Snake Tail”.

Dragon and Snake really are like the Beppus! I keep thinking that. I want a crossover fic now…

Tatsu = dragon.

I only just realised but…a naga is a snake. Nagayuki is the younger bro, isn’t he? Dangit, Nisio Isin! You bested me again.

150 doesn’t have any significance in regards to the number 12 now does it?

It’s Rabbit! Who’s not wearing his trademark booty shorts or high heels! Rabbit in a waiter’s outfit is really something, though.

“Hot guy”? Not by most people’s standards Tora/Kanae, considering he’s currently missing his head.

It’s tiger versus…aww. It’s not tiger vs dragon…

How can Ushii still talk after being strangled by Snake’s arm???

Whoa! Incendiary components are cool in Bond movies, but fiery liquid? That’s a step up!

Mahoutsukai no Yome 6

Admit it. You saw it in the next ep preview (unless you skipped it or read the manga)…It’s TITania time!

“She touched me for the first time.” – Elias, what a dork you are…

The birbs around Chise are so fluffy and adorable! It’s cute.

Geez, it really is TITania…these fanservice wiggles are destroying my Mahoutsukai no Yome experience…

Seing the Faerie Queen facepalm…is something else. *sweatdrops*

In the same way I want a koala sheep from Avatar the Last Airbender, I want one of those sheep bug things.

“Every creature of the night, including she and you, are my adorable little children.” – No wonder you have such big hooters, TITania…

A wild SIMON appeared!…Thought we’d forgotten about him for the rest of the episode. He would’ve made a better brick joke if his return were prolonged, y’know.

Strange question, but do priests wear pants?

Girls’ Last Tour 4

I’m listening to Ugoku Ugoku for the first time and it’s…strangely catchy…

That thing with the face is really creepy…

That thing is a stone statue???

“What IS cheese?” – Considering sometimes cheese tastes pretty bad, I don’t blame you for not knowing what cheese is.

Couldn’t they check the camera for what Kanazawa was doing with it?

I just saw the number 3230 on the camera’s inside frame for taking pictures (whatever you call it). That might be the year this show is set…

Notice the word for temple that’s used is jiin, a Buddhist temple. A Shinto version of that might be jinja.

Kanazawa was voiced by Akira Ishida? The guy who did Kiku (SGRS)??? NOOOOOOO! I missed a prime opportunity! I’ll have to go back for it later.

The ED is even more catchy than the OP. Is that even possible???

The camera breaks in the ED…that’s so ominous…

That post-ED scene was cute. A little bit.

Girls’ Last Tour 5

The slightly-electronic-sounding OP doesn’t quite fit the show, does it?

The phrase used was definitely ie dake ni. I’m not quite sure what that means, but…okay. I’ll just believe the subs on that one.

I wonder if Sentai is planning to dub these…I can imagine this show being dubbed.They wouldn’t need to pay too many VAs for it, for one thing.

Akogare is the word for desire or longing. It would be no surprise f there was an akogaru or akogarareru made from it as well.

Notice it’s “Yay!”, but with the word for house (ie) emphasised.

What is this fish dream, a metaphor for lesbians…?

The soundtrack guys must’ve had lots of fun striking cans or whatever.

I think this ED is different to the one last ep…Its name appears to be Amadare no Uta and it’s sung by the main VAs.

I bet the soundtrack guys hit a bell or two there…

Girls’ Last Tour 6

Oh no! It’s an Anime Scientist! Last time we had one, it was Shinawa (Kado), and you know how badly that went…

Interesting that the word for “takeoff” is “separation [from the] ground” literally.

Okay! I’m caught up to the weekly episodes now!

#simulcast commentary #girls' last tour #boueibu ova #boueibu #binan koukou chikyuu boueibu love!#binan koukou chikyuu boueibu love! love! love!#mahoutsukai no yome #ancient magus bride #juuni taisen #netjuu no susume #recovery of an mmo junkie #houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #chesarka watches juuni taisen #chesarka watches netjuu no susume #chesarka watches shoujo shuumatsu ryokou #chesarka watches houseki no kuni #chesarka watches mahoyome #battle lover simulcast

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thesublemon · 7 years

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Case Study: The Thematic Biopic

I’m going to talk a bit about The Social Network (2010, David Fincher) to give an idea of what it looks like when an adaptation uses its source material instead of letting its source material use it. Unless stated otherwise, any reference to a person is a reference to that person as they are depicted as a character in this movie, and not their real-life counterpart (who doubtlessly has many qualities I'd have different things to say about).

What makes The Social Network interesting is that unlike other movies about supposed creative genius, it’s not actually about the genius part. Neither in a hagiographic sense, nor in a mythological sense, where the important part is not what genius is, but rather that all geniuses are cruel or persecuted or both. The Social Network may depict Mark as being smarter and more impatient than most people in a given room, but it also depicts him as one part of a larger dynamic. Its point is not to embed him as a salient example of a pre-decided narrative in the audience’s head. It’s about something systemic.

The Social Network suggests that there are three different kinds of power in the world: creative power, social (sexual) power, and institutional power. These powers, it goes on to say, are not evenly distributed. People like Mark and Sean Parker have disproportionate creative talent; they don’t hold any one idea or project sacredly because they could find a hundred others to take its place. Early in the movie Narendra and the Winkelvosses ask Mark, impressed, how much Microsoft wanted to pay for his high school MP3 app. To which Mark says: “Didn’t sell it. Uploaded it for free.” He shrugs when they ask him why. Parker is similarly indifferent to suggestions that his bankrupt business ventures were unsuccessful. “You want to buy a Tower Records, Eduardo?” he asks. To the creatively wealthy in other words, the only measure of success is a good idea. Not a profitable one, nor one approved by an authority.

Narendra and the Winkelvosses do not have that luxury. They are forced to be creative misers, seeking credit for their one, unfinished idea because they have no others. They seek institutional validation for their idea instead of having more, asking legal restitution even from the short arm of Harvard law. On the other hand, they have no anxiety about their social place. The idea of sexual striving is so far off the Winkelvoss’ radar that unlike any of the other male protagonists in the movie, there are no scenes of them at parties or trying to get laid. Instead we see them they plan earnestly from the Porcellian or eat their losses from an English boathouse—not to exposit that they have status, but rather to emphasize their ease in these places. The drama of their lives happens in these institutions, not because of them. Aesthetically, they fit. Unlike Mark, who flip-flops and cargo-shorts dissonantly against Harvard’s 18th century architecture.

But the Winkelvosses are not villains. Their striving makes them quite sympathetic and their idea was not a bad one. Clearly. One gets the sense that they’re almost in the same boat as a creative millionaire, in that because their social status is so secure, the only measure of success they have left is something personal. The scene where the twins visit the president of Harvard to ask for his help is interesting because on the one hand, we’re sort of the side of Larry Summers. He is absolutely right when he tells them to, essentially, “Grow up.” You’d think the scene would be one of satisfying comeuppance, where the institution finally turns on those sheltered rich boys. But Summers then also goes on to dismiss the idea of Facebook as important or promising at all. So which of them has the worse attitude for creativity, at the end of the day? The people who can recognize a good idea but not capitalize on it, or the person who doesn’t hold ideas sacredly but will dismiss good ones out of hand?

The Winkelvosses embody some other ambiguities in the movie, like the question of the value of honor. Or more abstractly: the value of abiding by social contracts. We could say, with some judgment, that the Winkelvosses benefit from social contracts, and so there’s no reason that they should be suspicious of them. But by and large, everyone in society benefits from contracts too. They’re a script for a basically well-intentioned person to follow. We could also say that Cameron’s desire to be a “gentleman of Harvard” or the way that Eduardo trusts and financially supports Mark solely on the basis of them being friends is typical of the mentality that is bad at creativity. Too law-abiding. Too tentative. Whereas Mark or Parker are often emotionally indifferent, most especially if being careful of feelings would get in the way of a good idea. Eduardo wants to secure small advertisers, but Parker wants to hold out for the big venture capital fish. Yet while in many ways the Winkelvoss honor is what does them in, Facebook might not have happened without Eduardo’s. Society loves a rule breaker, but only because it has the herd immunity of social contracts.

The movie is also interesting in how it handles the human frailty of inventive people. It paints it not as romantic, but in fact quite undignified. For all that Mark or Parker think of themselves as married to the idea, the reality is that they are obsessed with their social egos, as much as if not more than how obsessed they might be creatively. Parker wants to humiliate Case Equity, and Mark fixates on his failure to be in a final club. If someone is smugly, single-mindedly ambitious at pursuing projects, it turns out that they’re going to be like that whether the project is a business or a person. It’s easy to posture about how people should like your idea. Less easy to posture about how people should like you. Other characters are plenty undignified in social situations as well; it’s hard not to see Eduardo’s final club gauntlet as silly against the Big Idea of Facebook.

The movie is called “The Social Network” and not “Mark Zuckerberg” or “Facebook: The Movie” because it reminds us at every turn of this inescapable and somewhat depressing reality that human are social, interdependent animals. For all that the movie depicts three kinds of power, the reality is that each kind is still measured in the currency of other people’s opinions. Women’s opinions of men, institution’s opinions of creative worth, a venture capitalist’s opinion of potential, the future’s opinion of one’s legacy, Eduardo’s father’s opinion of him (EDUARDO: “You have no idea what [having his name on the masthead] will mean to my father.” MARK: “Sure I do.”). Having a card that says “I’m CEO, bitch” is the highest indication of power not because it means that everybody likes you, but that you don’t care. You’ve liberated yourself from the humiliating system of social opinion. But of course, “I’m CEO, bitch” is deeply socially self-conscious phrasing. Mark checks his profile at the end of the movie, and we understand that he is not free of anything at all.

There is something that I call “the biopic aesthetic.” It’s an aesthetic of spectacle, I’d say, if sometimes a muted one. The spectacle might be whether or not a famous actor will pull off their imitation of another famous person. A feeling of playing dress-up. The spectacle might just be the act of seeing something famous rendered fictionally. The spectacle might be a kind of voyeurism, a chance to peep in the windows of real people. Rubberneck at seedy underbellies. Sometimes there isn’t spectacle, but simply a romantic need to make myths. Nostalgia has a mythological effect, as does storytelling that reinforces already familiar narratives. As can simply loyally reproducing a life. A Beautiful Mind is a great example of what I mean, but even something good and less dramatized like The Aviator has that strange glow of costume and sentiment. Even something with great writing like Frost/Nixon gave me a subtle uncanny valley sensation.

What most examples of the biopic aesthetic have in common is that they have either relatively little or badly controlled “aboutness.” We bring so much pre-done symbolic work to any art, but especially to adaptations, that it’s easy to miss that a story isn’t adding any symbolic context or interpretation of its own. As I said at the beginning: using source material rather than letting source material use it. For example, a version of A Beautiful Mind that had aboutness might have pulled harder on the thread of the difficulty of assessing reality. Instead of just showing Nash’s mental breakdown and triumphant rehabilitation, perhaps it would have also explored the way that people making economic decisions have trouble anticipating the actions of others, or the paranoia of the geopolitical context of the time. How different is Nash from a nervous politician? That sort of thing. Frost/Nixon probably gave me the feeling that it did because it didn’t control the information that a movie context provides quite as well as it could have. A need for stronger visual metaphor, perhaps.

I can tell that The Social Network is an artful adaptation, however, because it repeats its themes constantly and diversely through small details of character and imagery. “Mark was the biggest thing on a campus that included 19 Nobel laureates,15 Pulitzer Prize winners, two future Olympians, and a movie star,” says Eduardo at one point in the deposition. “Who was the movie star?” the lawyer asks, in a display of irrelevant interest in a social winner. During the FaceMash coding montage, we have Mark being creative for social reasons, we have people trying to get laid, we have people leaving opportunities to get laid in order to participate in the different realm of social competition that FaceMash represents. All on the somber institutional campus of Harvard University. When the twins leave their meeting with Summers, one of them accidentally breaks the handle to his office. “Broke your 335 year old doorknob,” he says in disgust, having finally learned disdain for the weaknesses of institutional power. Even the fact that Fincher has a naturally sexy looking visual style contributes to the movie thematically. It’s ironic to see it applied to a story about how people not getting sex. Literally or metaphorically. The Social Network is good, in other words, because it is thematically expressive and coherent even down to fractally small levels.

[Sidenote: It does bother me that while female characters in The Social Network are not devoid of personality, they are pretty much only used as the figurative gold standard of social power. Women sitting on the sex hoard. I don’t know whether this was deliberate on the part of the movie or not, that the personhood of the female characters is supposed to feel strange and ironic in the context of them being used as currency. I can see that. I even sort of like it. But if so, I wish that it were clear. Even a glimpse of the downsides and trade-offs for women in being used this way would have convinced me that it was deliberate. Seeing the fragility of only having sexual power, just as the movie portrays the fragility of depending on sexual validation. But that is a subject for a different post.]

#posts: art #adding the note to the post instead

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