#*he made quite a show of eating it this episode. Maybe because the camera followed him instead of cutting to him already eating it??*

[radioscientist]

‘Atonement’ reminds me of ‘Summer Shade’, in that they’re really good episodes for the horror aspects of XXXHolic to shine through

[jmdbjk]

They take up a lot of space in my head sometimes...

I didn't want to dwell on this in the documentary posts but I know you guys will indulge me as I ramble a little bit.

I want to elaborate on some thoughts I had while watching the second half of Episode 7 when Jungkook went over to Jimin's.

I watched it several times. I made sure to watch it once with a very critical and skeptical eye to keep myself from straying too far...nothing serious but possibly delulu...

This part of the documentary inside Jimin's apartment was filmed on March 13, 2022 following the last PTD Seoul concert.

This was BEFORE PTD Las Vegas where Jimin has told us he talked to the members about his troubles and that's when he embarked on writing the songs that would end up on his album FACE which was released A YEAR after this interview.

It seems Jimin answers his phone in the car after the concert. Tells whoever to get ready and come over and asks what kind of chicken to order. The documentary camera person is already in the car with Jimin... who is he speaking to on the phone? When we eventually see Jungkook coming over later on in this episode, it's natural to assume he was speaking to Jungkook on the phone, who was probably in another car on his way home to his own apartment after the concert, or perhaps already home since his apartment is much closer to Jamsil Olympic Stadium where PTD Seoul was held.

Inside Jimin's residence, he talks about what he does there, basically not a whole lot: eats, sleeps, drinks, has friends over, plays on the computer, and from what we've seen since, he's not much of a decorator.

He wonders if he's revealed too much. I think this was a legitimate question for him, since idols typically do not divulge this sort of thing to the fans. It's plausible to me that Jimin has to unlearn all these preconceived ideas he's had about being an idol in order to forge ahead.

Delivery fried chicken arrives and he runs to get it and runs back to the dining table. Literally runs. The door chimes as it closes. I do love watching him eat. He surely loves his food. A man after my heart.

He talks about how it naturally came about that they needed to have their own spaces. They were maturing young men, they needed their own places even though they'd lived together for so many years. He said their place in Gangnam was so small they put up temporary walls. I believe he was speaking about the house that is now a cafe, Hyuga? He says it was scary living on his own, it was so quiet.

When Jungkook arrives, the door chime sound we hear was different from what it sounded like when Jimin went to the door to get the delivery chicken.

From this footage, we can't know if Jungkook punched in the code and let himself in. Maybe he did, but this footage does not show that. Unless someone is familiar with how that particular door chime sounds when it is unlocked, when it is locked, when it opens and when it closes, we can't know what that chime meant.

We see Jungkook after he's already inside the apartment. He was followed by a camera person. I am certain the camera-person does not have Jimin's apartment's door code. Make of that what you will...perhaps Jungkook came alone and they re-enacted him entering once he got there because it'd be weird if he was just there all of a sudden... we can't know.

Incidentally (fun fact) this is the same jacket Jungkook wore in the video of receiving the President's Award during his university graduation earlier that month (Mar. 2, 2022)... yes, Jeon Jungkook is a university graduate too. He wore a jacket with "QUIT YOUR JOB" across the back of it, to accept a graduation award.... 💀

Anyway back to my delulu...

Jimin and Jungkook are chatting at the table while eating and drinking and get on the topic of their sleeping habits when Jungkook says normally he would take a bath, drink a couple beers and go to sleep and even adds now he goes to sleep earlier. Such a grown up.

Jimin says he falls asleep at 1 a.m. so he must be getting old but it doesn't matter if he falls asleep at 1 a.m. or 6-7 a.m., he sleeps until 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

Jungkook says he decided not to live like that anymore... this the man who in early 2023 was staying up all night to do live broadcasts with us from his living room and waking up his neighbors belting out Unholy, etc... such a grown up.

And then Jungkook says 'oops, I sounded like Yoongi just then, never mind, live how what you want' and whoever that is off-camera wheezing... HAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway. That whole exchange was... what is it with them? They ride the edge of smart-assy sarcasm and inside jokery with each other constantly. And this time at the expense of Yoongi! HAHAHAHA.

Jimin and Tae sometimes act similarly with each other but it is more role play and nothing like the long-running inside joke Jimin and Jungkook do all the time.

The vibe between them was identical to the one when they were sitting at the dining table that first night of In The Soop 2.

As episode 7 goes on, they show Jimin and Jungkook again, Jungkook is chopping mushrooms and Jimin says "You are doing so well on your own" and "Be careful" and the translation says Jungkook said "okay" but it sounds more to me like a "ayyy stop nagging" sound he made.

Jimin runs behind Jungkook again. Why does Jimin run so much? He's like a nervous, excited little mouse.

They're terrible Youtubers:

The ship wars and solo wars and stupid-things-you-could-ask-during-a-live wars over whether or not Jimin ever ate Jungkook's ramen... FINALLY, after posting all those recipes last year and Jimin saying he wants Jungkook to cook that for him, we see JUNGKOOK HAS COOKED RAMEN FOR JIMIN! Cooked it for him way before any of these wars began too... what a waste of energy.

No, Jimin didn't go over to Jungkook's to eat it, Jungkook came to Jimin and cooked it for him.

Ok, but this is the part that made me need to pause and rewind and write this long-ass post:

Jimin tells us that a friend of his helped him realize he needed to explore the possibility he was depressed.

He recounts the story as they were at Jimin's apartment drinking and they had a small argument. The next morning Jimin wakes up, has totally forgotten the argument and goes over to the friend's to help begin moving. They apologized to each other and the friend came over again that night and the friend said "I think you are severely depressed. You act like you aren't, but you've been acting strange. If you're having a hard time, tell me." Jimin said he didn't think he was having a hard time and the friend told Jimin to take some time to think about it. Jimin says a lot changed after that.

This moment when Jimin is retelling this story, "yet you act like you aren't, but you've been acting strange. If you're having a hard time, tell me." Jimin reaches over and actually touches Jungkook. Look at the way they are looking at each other?

The way Jungkook sat there, looking straight at Jimin while Jimin recounted that conversation/day/moment, chewing on his bottom lip as is his habit, Jungkook nodding during certain points that Jimin was retelling... very very brief moments where body language reveals a lot.

Maybe the "friend" Jimin was supposed to help move, the one who told Jimin he seemed severely depressed... was Jungkook?

You can call me delulu if you want. I see what I see and I hear what I hear.

They have not shown this type of closeness amongst the other members in this entire documentary. And here is Jungkook sitting in Jimin's home, while Jimin tells us this very intimate detail about himself.

If Jungkook was the one... it's plausible, the one who came over to drink, just like they were doing this evening... the one who was moving and Jimin was going to help him. The one who he can look in the eyes and recount this story and his friend can look him straight back in the eye and nod in agreement.

Why retell this story with Jungkook sitting next to him? There were other moments when we know Jungkook is there, he could have been off camera while Jimin told the staff about this intimate moment with his friend. No. He said it while they sat next to each other looking at each other.

It's possible. If not, it seems possible that Jungkook has already heard this story.

Jimin shares more than we've ever heard from him: that he falls into a labyrinth the moment he starts to ponder about what happiness is. He says of course their work and many other things require attention to detail but it's ok if there is vagueness (or imperfection) too. If you get too caught up in the meaning of things (in the importance of things), you feel like you have to risk it all to accomplish them and its ok to let some of it go, enjoy the simplicity of things and not get emotional over everything ... this sounds like Jimin has matured and has tried to push away perfectionism.

He believes he is in a very healthy place mentally right now (at the time of that interview, March 13, 2022) but can't say the same about his body, but he wants to stay healthy as he grows older together with the fans. And Jungkook is still there, but off camera.

This interview was almost two years ago. And now their first solo career endeavors have been accomplished and these two are doing their military obligation together. They've come a long way. We will see them again next year. It won't be as long as it feels.

Anyway, going back to my delulu cave now. Carry on.

[kanmom51]

JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years - 2017

Disclaimer: these are my own opinions and conclusions.  Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

2017 - part 2

12 Feb 2017 – “You never walk alone” preview show.  Who’s JM’s little cutie? 

14 Feb 2017 – JM Twitter post –  the boys with matching jackets.  I know. I said not Twitter, but sometimes rules are made to be broken.

17 Feb 2017 – Hobi’s birthday.  JM to JK: “stop coming to our room at night.” There’s something about JM throwing JK under the bus time after time.  It’s like he enjoys to see JK squirm.

22 Feb 2017 – Gaon Chart K-pop chart – JK ushering Hobi to another seat, so that JK can sit behind JM.  JM turning around see this, rolls his eyes and smirks.

24 Feb 2017 – KBS Music Bank comeback - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4_ASZuLeVk&t=156s  

Another one of my favourites.  A perfect example for both boys hesitance, wanting to touch, but just not getting there. 

 JM putting arm behind JK, but holding on to wall behind, and then matter of factually laying it on JK’s shoulder.  

JM micro touching, or brushing JK’s hand with his thumb.  

Prior to JM brushing JK’s hand with his thumb, JK’s hand is heart signing to JM. 

The minute JM moves his hand away, you see how the expression on JK’s face changes, then he rubs his hand where JM touched him.

24 Feb 2017 fan meet – are they in actual F… sending flying kisses to each other?

25 Feb 2017 MBC music core comeback – JK moving Hobi aside, so that JK can stand behind JM.  JK being JM’s number 1 fanboy.

26 Feb 2017 – Wings – you never walk alone fan sign.  Really JM? What was that neck grab and what exactly were you doing there????  No, I don’t believe he kissed JK’s neck, but it sure was ‘out there’, so much so that Jin was in total shock when it happened.  JK was surprised by it, and I think that even JM was shocked by his own actions waling aimlessly in what seems like the wrong direction .

28 Feb 2017 Run BTS episode 12. This one for me was cringe worthy, at some points I felt like an actual intruder.  JK the detective and JM the prisoner.  JK whacking JM on the behind (remember JK is the younger – how bold).  JM’s private dance for JK.  I know the episode was mostly scripted, but I seriously think JM was surprised by that smack to his behind.  Also, the way JK was looking at JM when he was dancing all heart hands for him.

12 March 2017 - Wings tour Santiago Chile

Santiago day 2 – JK suffers from exhaustion.  As he is taken back stage to a treatment room, JM is the one to race after the team into the room.

JM is in the treatment room when the cameras come in.  He is standing there, and later, as the other members are walking in, JM is by JK’s side, helping the medical team lift up one of his legs.

The rest of the members come in together to see how JK is doing, and when the medical team suggest to take off JK’s pants, all the members leave the room.  All except for JM, who stays there with JK the whole time.

JM leaves the room only together with JK, after he feels better and is able to walk out of the room on his own two feet.

Wouldn’t you expect RM, being the leader and all, to be the one by JK’s side? Or J-Hope maybe?  Wouldn’t that have made more sense under the circumstances? Why JM?  

Because, clearly JM is the one JK feels closest to, the one he can be himself with freely, the one he doesn’t feel embarrassed or needs privacy from.

JM may not have been a family member, but he was the closest thing to it.  JM to JK is and was his home, his safe place, and most certainly the one to be by his side when he was in distress.

March 2017 BTS Live trilogy episode the Wings tour in Santiago Chile & Brazil.  

March 2017 BTS Live trilogy episode the Wings tour in Chicago.

April 2017 3rd Muster dvd – the muster was at end of 2016, but dvd was released in 2017. During photo shoots they are being posed by the photographers.  Yes, there will be authentic moments between them, but sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s being directed.  That’s why I don’t always like to add these to my timeline.   Even so, they were so cute, so I couldn’t leave this one out.

3rd April 2017 – BTS Front row live entertainment interview – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UotjcB_X4ag . What happened there?  

This one intrigues me. I watched and re-watched the full interview several times, and for the life of me I can’t see what happened there between JM and Hobi that triggered JK’s reaction?  JM’s placating look at JK, like telling him nothing happened… this one is used a lot to create the JK jealous narrative, and to be honest, I really don’t know what happened there. When JK turns back, JM looks into the camera with an uneasy gaze.

After that, most of the time, JM looks lost in his thoughts, not happy.  Towards the end they are asked what artist they would want to collaborate with, and Suga’s answer makes them all burst out in laughter, all accept for JM.  When he is asked and answers, you also see he is unhappy.  You can easily see something is bothering him.  JM just wasn’t his happy own self.  He looked pensive.  BTS did several interviews and had a concert that day, so maybe he was just tired or wound up, but he just wasn’t acting like himself.

April 2017 - Bon Voyage 2 Hawaii

Highlights of the highlights: The but checking and identifying (are we taking skinship to another level, are we??).  

JK getting drenched at the beach, JK getting drenched period. Lol.  

JK gobbling down piping hot Pizza so JM can eat. 

JM playing footsies under the table with JK, all while sitting opposite V.  

JK edging JM to come along calling him “Aegyo” = “Baby”.  J

M making sure JK doesn’t go hungry, buying him food with his own money.  JM taking care of JK. 

JK and JM on same team – the joy… Spending the day together and just being happy. 

 Did JK really lose the game on purpose so he can be in the room with JM? 

The amount of times we hear Jimin-ssi in every kind of cute and flirty way JK can say it…

Bonus:

22 April 2017 JK Vlive – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n8y3D0Z9pM . 

JK doing everything to get JM back to his room while playing loud music. 

JK’s face lighting up when JM returns to his room. 

JK telling JM he looks handsome without makeup.  

JK pissed off when V comes in too, saying “why is everyone coming?”.    

When V touches JK’s ear, JK pushes him away.  

JM moving off camera to fix his robe, and JK not taking his eyes off him.  

V putting his foot on JK’s back (this is something I have seen V do a few times, it’s not a gentle touch, to me it feels more like asserting dominance), and JM pushes him off.    

And what exactly did JM mean when he said he has no talent for games but “I was quite good at it a year ago”?  Only to be followed by the stare, OMG, the stare.  Why, oh why did V have to ruin the moment, eh?

22-23 April 2017 Bangkok concert. Flirting on stage, attention to each other.

24 April 2017 Eat Jin Vlive with JM and JK - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqxX_UGXSlY .   

Jin complaining why JM doesn’t hit him like he did JK, so JM hits him too. Lol. JM stealing the steak JK cuts for himself, while JK lets him, smiling.  The way JK just lets JM get away with anything, even interfering with the ultimate ‘ship’ - Jungfood. 

3 June 2017 – J-14 magazine interview - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7rXl8uuUTY&t=306s .  from 3.33min. to 4.37min especially.

Wtf was JM up to there????? It looks pretty dubious, especially when you look at the faces on the two of them when it was going on.  Up to your interpretation.

2 June 2017 – Ceremonial first pitch at baseball match – Hanshin Koshien stadium - JK and JM’s jersey numbers – coincidence or not?

12 June Festa 2017 BTS BangtanTv –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWA6f7g7NUQ&t=2s.

JK’s intense stare at JM, when JM joined the others in with the others when they were laughing at JK eating everyone’s food but not ordering any for himself, which causes JM to immediately stop laughing.  

Poor JK being blindsided when it was pointed out that the only one he bought a birthday present for last year was JM.  Oops. (why oh why JM did you throw him under the bus like that??? You were curious? Really???? JM keeps doing this) Poor boy was so embarrassed.  Hobi was the one to actually save him, stating how generous JK has become lately giving away his things that he didn’t need. JK never answered the question. 

27 June 2017 BV2 special commentary live – JK getting all flustered when asked to explain the difference between BV1 and BV2.  JM looking at him, enjoying every second.

4 August 2017 - KBS Music Bank Singapore.  JK not loving on Taemin.  The way he turns around the minute JM and Taemin interact, and the discontent look on his face…cold.  He’s not a happy camper.  He glancing in the direction a couple of times, but he is mostly turned away from them.   And when JM runs up to slap Taemin in the butt, JK sees this, averts his head, and just keeps walking off the stage.  He is clearly upset. Besides the obvious faces he makes, not waiting for Jimin when walking off stage is not something he usually does. Was it jealousy?  Was it just a disliking of Taemin specifically?  And if he dislikes Taemin, why is that?  We can’t know. 

OK now, I know I said that I won’t be doing Twitter, but this one I felt I had to (again, oops):

On the 6th of August 2017 JM posted a photo he took during their Hawaii trip (BV2). Why take this photo, and why post it?  Do I really have to ask this question?

29th August 2017 the famous, or infamous People Now “arrest me” interview -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgGxcMndEk8 .  

I couldn’t find the actual date of this interview, but it was uploaded end of August 2017. I really enjoyed this one.  Everyone talks about JK’s “arrest me” JM mishap during this interview.  The members reactions are to die for.  

Can someone tell me please what Suga told JK in Korean before they moved on?????  

Also, JK’s reaction when JM said he wanted to collab with Suga (watch from 7:58min), was like:

 W H A T  in  T H E  actual F U C K???. LMAO.  

Summer package 2017 – released August 2017.

JK and JM being all playful by the pool.  JK letting us know how adorable JM is to him when he is swimming doggy style in the pool.

The one that stands out to me, though, is the ‘dream catcher necklace saga’.  Felt a little uneasy to see that one, like I was witness to a lover’s tiff.  

The boys were given a budget each to purchase themselves a gift.  They are taken together to a gift shop, where they check the merchandise out and each buy themselves a little souvenir.  When they all sit down to show each other their gifts, that’s when this moment happens.

JK takes out his gift. I once again want to emphasize, this is a gift he bought with his budget for himself.  He explains it’s a dream catcher and says he will put it in his room.  

JM, sitting next to him, takes it from JK and says: “this is a necklace Jungkook-ssi”. 

JK blurts out adamantly that he won’t hang it around his neck.   

This is when things get awkward, because you can see JM is clearly upset, throws the necklace back at JK and says: “OK, then”.

JM has a dream catcher necklace around his neck too, and when it’s his turn to tell what gift he bought himself he takes the necklace off and gives it to V, saying he bought the gift for V, who had a nightmare last night.

After JM’s mini tantrum JK, who previously adamantly professed he will not put it around his neck, does everything he can to put the necklace on, finally turning to JM to help him put the it on, which he does.  

Later on, while sitting for the personal interview, with the necklace around his neck, he tells us how from now on he won’t have nightmares.

What did I get from all that?

Clearly JM was pissed at JK’s reaction.  Why?  JK clearly bought this by himself for himself. 

But did he?  Was it something he chose for himself, or was it something JM suggested to him?

JM also bought a dream catcher.  Was that a coincidence?  For some reason, I don’t think so.  

My theory is that the dream catcher is something JM suggested or wanted JK to buy for himself, and JK reluctance to wear it offended him.  JM clearly bought the other dream catcher for V.  Perhaps he wanted both his boys to have one, and to him, JK’s comment felt as a rejection.

The way JK reacted to JM, his immediate change of attitude towards the necklace, trying to put it on, when only a second earlier he said he won’t put this around his neck, shows how attuned he was to JM, how he immediately realised he did something wrong, something to upset JM, and how he tried, in his own way, to atone for it, by wearing the same thing he but seconds ago rejected.

This brings me back to the point I made about the boys relationship, and them finding the balance. A perfect example to how there will still be conflict, but how JK realises, immediately, that he had done wrong and what he has done wrong, and immediately sets to right the wrong, hence to restore that balance.

JM throwing the necklace at JK.  Also, notice the editor’s remark.  JM’s anger is obvious not only to me.

To be continued... 

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x16)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 16: You Picked the Wrong Weakness

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: did someone just go and tell the otp about the otp?

Word Count: you know that feeling when you have had a bad experience on some project or assignment or homework before. And you know that thing is going to come around again next month or something like that. And you just age yourself by giving yourself anxiety by thinking everything that could go worse in that area. Yeah. So, I kinda shut that off for a few hours and wrote this.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The Interview Room The camera is recording empty seats as a pair of voices grow louder with every second. "...it's like they don't even care about what the other person wants!" "...no, why would they. These rich daddies and their rich egos think they are the only ones thinking about the world." The camera swivels a bit to watch Peter and Scott enter with a new guest following them with a Caprisun in their hand. Peter: And why did you have to go ahead and help them? Shuri: *sits between Scott and Peter* *takes a long sip of her 'sun* What. I'm not going to give up any opportunity that involves space and weird energy boxes. Peter: Why did your brother even agree to it?? Shuri: *shrugs* all your sugar daddy had to say was 'what if it was Shuri'. And my thicc-head of a brother lost it like a rhino in a mating challenge. Peter: *scrunches his nose at the example* Scott: Great *sigh* now we'll never get to see them together. With your brains, those dads are probably already in space now. Shuri: Not so fast! They don't have the codes to neutralise the pandora's box yet. Peter and Scott: *look at each other*  Shuri: So teleportation might be delayed as long as I am kept happy?  Peter: *takes out a notebook* Scott: *takes out his phone and a card labelled Avengers Black Card* The camera pans in on a smirking Shuri sipping on her Capri sun.

Inside a Spaceship: Destination Unknown You and Loki were captured by the little drone flying at the same speed as the spaceship (which clearly had seen some remodelling, thanks to your rainbow buddies). Both of you were staring at something in front of you that lids by your waist level- something the outside drone was not able to capture because of the limited view in the spaceship window. The expressions on your face were serious. So was the arms-crossed stance. "Are you sure it wasn't just a noise?" Loki now had a finger on his lips in deep thought as he heard your words. "I am pretty sure of what I heard," he acknowledged without missing a beat. "So-" your voice faded as your fingers twirled in the air with a mind of their own- "that means he has...another..." "You really can't say it?" Loki looked at you with a questioning brow going up quite smoothly. You tsked. "It's my baby," you mentioned while Javier's camera watched you point down at slumbering Lulu. "I cannot just casually say he might have another hole and I think he farted through it. I cannot hurt my baby's feelings!" Loki scoffed. "Your baby's sleeping." "He still has ears." "You think he understands what a fart means?" "What do you think I've been teaching him when you, me or Javi pass the gas?" Loki's casual demeanour suddenly changed to an offended one. "I beg your pardon?" You were quick on your feet, already walking towards the front of the ship. "So, where exactly are we heading now? Aellae's next of kin? Though I find it hard to imagine she would have left your essence with anyone other than herself." Loki came and sat next to you, still pissed at that comment in those narrowed eyes. "I am going to circle back to your words-" he inhaled while you acted all innocent- "and no. We are not looking for anyone related to that witch." "Then are we looking for another one of your exes?" "No, we are n-" Loki stopped short, his lips right in a thin line as he stared at you. "Why are you so interested my exes?" You simply shrugged and raised your brows. "On the contrary, it seems your exes are still pretty interested in you." That casual expression turned into a familiar judgment as your head turned to look at him. "Though I wonder what did they find so-" you hands moved haphazardly- "interesting about you." Loki swivelled his captain seat towards you, locking your legs between his while grounding your armrests with his hands. Clicking the control button on your armrest, he moved your chair a bit closer to him, his face in close proximity to yours. Javier's camera panned in on the gulp moving down your throat while your eyelids did a flutter at this uncalled movement. The 4K caught those goosebumps rising right where his arm barely grazed yours and in the background, Lulu played an arousing violin piece. "Something you can only dream about, darling," he whispered. The violin picked up the charge in the air within its quick clean high notes. The only noise leaving you was the escape of the air stuck in your throat, shivering on its way out. "Of c-" you cleared your throat. trying to sit back up in your seat- "of course I can only fantasize. The reality makes me want to puck. Ugh!"

Loki: Y/N thinks space is all fun and games. What she does not realise is that just like earth, this universe too has an underworld. Ten times in size and twenty times as brutal. And Aellae was just the tip of the filthy iceberg. *camera zooms in on his tensed features* looks into the distance* Wonder who else she told about her. *looks back* *blinks* I'm taking her somewhere we can lie low for now. *rolls eyes* that is if she understands what lying low means. *sighs* 

You: *eating bread like a peasant famished for days* Hm? What? No *shakes head* 'm nod nerbous. *takes another bite* debinidly nod becoz o doki. He wash jus playing wee me. *viciously bites into the bread* *growls and buries head in your lap* 

"I am still telling you to ask for their help. It's not too late," you suggested in a composed manner, sitting in the co-pilot seat. "I am not calling seven alien boys just because you have a fetish for Korean pop bands." You thwacked his leg with yours. "I do not! And don't you dare talk shit about k-pop." Loki chuckled. "Why? What are going to do?" "I won't. But you know what k-pop fans are like, don't you?" The smile on Loki's face suddenly started to flicker away as he looked at the camera. "Remember that Vegas trip?" Clearing his throat, he adjusted himself on his seat, while you shared a devilish smirk with the camera. "We're going somewhere safe. Where I have a chance of getting my powers back and hopefully a gateway back to earth." You sat up. "Why didn't we go there in the first place?" Loki blinked, not really answering. You and the camera noticed the tension in his jaw. "It's not a place I like to talk about." The asteroid belt cleared in front of the spaceship to show the part of a planet covered in grey clouds shadowing frozen blue mountains and dark valleys. "Jotunheim," you whispered to yourself, letting the gloomy yet majestic scenery of the place reflect in your eyes. “Loki,” all humour in your voice seemed to dilute as you looked back at home, “we don’t have to go there. We-uh...we could go to one of Peter’s hideouts? Or maybe we could call the Boys and ask them to direct us to one of their safe places? You know, till we find a lead on your essence.” A smirk built upon the God's lips. "Is that concern I hear in your voice?" Those worry-laden brows suddenly dispersed all emotion to make way for anger. A slap made way from your hand to his right side of the back. The thwack was loud enough to wake Lulu and force a sincere 'ow' from the God's throat. "This concern is for me and my babies you awful animal," you growled, your voice considerably higher, "you think they'll survive there?"

Jotunheim If the mountains seemed to carry an eerie aura about them, the valleys were a straight suggestion of being pits straight to hell. To add to the effects of arriving at the gates of hell, the snow falling was harsh, to say the least. As soon as the door to the ship opened to let all the passengers feel the heat, the drone travelling outside took in travellers covered in thick fur. Javier carried Lulu on his front, both of them visible just with their faces- not to mention the former's blue eyes standing out over everything else in his surroundings. Loki too embraced the thick skin, looking quite the part of a Jotun till he picked up the hood of your coat to put it over your head without saying much; only smiling when you looked like a fluffed up birb in that Viking overcoat.

Loki: *smiling sheepishly**looks at you standing next to him* Angry birb *looks back at Javier's camera* Sam taught me that one. *camera pans at you simmering under that fur*

Lulu had already picked the background music for his pack's entrance. The Viking beat had just the right amount of weight and horror of the unknown in it as this place did. Just ahead of the pass lay the structure carved in the mountain itself. It could be called a palace or a temple. But that was not what sought your attention.  Eyes. The camera caught eyes in the dark staring at the unwanted guests. Blue. Piercing. Murderous. And more than one pair. The drone panned in on that one subconscious movement of your fingers gripping the fur of the coat on Loki's back as the God walked gallantly- as if he owned the planet. But your eyes did not stop to observe the alien movement around you. "Remember-" Loki's whisper brought you out of the daze your own thumping heart was creating for you- "do not show them your fear. Show them that you are to be feared." It may have been his words or just his voice that started to melt the fear visible on your features, lasting for five seconds before a loud thump vibrated the land beneath your feet, making you all come to a stop. And when that was not enough, the audience saw the feet first, then the legs and then the whole length of a Jotun appearing before them. Some necks were really going to feel it tonight.

"Who dares enter the land of Jotunheim?" came the thundering and low growl from the Jotun that stood towering over you all. "The one who is alive and stands on this land," Loki announced, "with the blood of Laufey in my veins, I have come to claim what is mine." There was nothing but an uninviting smirk on the Jotun's face. "I am Loki, son of Laufey, son of Odin, ruler of Asgard and your King," he commanded with ice in his voice, "and you...need to bow...before your King." The dead silence proceeding his threat of a speech was enough for you nearly bury you inside your own overcoat. And when that did not seem enough, your body- on its own- moved a step closer to Loki's side. "Oooooh Gooood," you whispered with quite the shudder while your face was plastered with a no-fucks-given wave, "we're gonna die." On the contrary, the silence was followed by many Jotuns coming out of the shadows to surround your group one by one before bowing down. Even the ones who looked quite young did the same. All of them except for the one Jotun who had greeted you first. "Allir fagna konungi!" they chanted in unison. "All hail the king," Javier translated it for you. "Didn't know you were into Nords," you quipped, "the language, I mean." "Honey, I am all into Nords," he signed before looking around with a smile, finding a buff Jotun that caught his eye. He did not take another second to blink at him and leave that giant a bit confused and flustered at the same time.

Inside the Palace The throne was sculpted out of ice that seemed as old as the mountain. Alongside it had been made seating arrangements for the family, running parallel till the doors of the throne room, all greyish blue stones marked with Jotun carvings. You and Javier believed they might be names of dignitaries. Lulu thought they are just doodles by other babies and proceeded to contribute to the stone they were standing next to. A little female giant sat down and looked at Lulu's doodles with curious wide eyes. Loki stood rightfully in front of his throne, admiring it before turning to his subjects, most of them adults who were exceptionally taller and blue-er than him. The drone captured the magnificence of the throne room that had fire pits next to the seats at intervals right alongside the stone pillars and right in the middle, a few feet in front of the king. But none of them were lit. And the giants were visibly annoyed by the drone while the kids wanted to catch it and play with it. "An Asgardian announces himself as our King," the one giant growled as he stood at the steps of the throne, "why would we believe you to be our King, son of Odin." He nearly spat the last part. The drone captured that bit of concern breaking out on your composed features but Loki just smirked. Pulling his overcoat to the side- as magnificently as he believed himself to be- he sat down as if he has done it ever since he was born. The authority exuding from his presence certainly put the murmurs going around the hall to a standstill. "At ease, Helblindi," he stressed to the giant with a purr and directed the rest of the audience to take their place. "Not you." Everyone stopped short to looked at their king. And he was clearly looking at you. You pointed a finger at yourself in question. "Don't you know your place....pet?" he commanded ever so slyly, discreetly pointing his finger at the stone next to his throne.

You: *look around to make sure no one's looking at you* *anger about to explode through your eyes* *whispering* Pet?? PET?? I swear gonna just *gestures to grab the air* grab his throat and *punches the said air repeatedly in her palm*  *camera pans out to focus on three baby giants looking at you in pure horror before their mother carries them away murmuring something* *camera swivels to show Javier looking disappointed* Javier: *signs* she said 'stay away from the crazy human'. *sighs* *shakes his head*

“Come-“ Loki’s fingers gestured at you to come over to that stone couch of a thing next to him- “sit.” Taking a breath to compose your usual embers of rage at that comment, you smiled and walked up the stairs to stand next to him. The camera recorded the little gracious bow you gave the God but not before your back was to the spectators and you signalled an insult with your middle towards him, nearly making him chuckle. And with one heavy inhale, you sat down next to him, clearly not at the same level as him. “Is this what Lulu feels like?” “I would’ve made Lulu sit in my lap,” Loki acknowledged with a smirk. “You’re welcome to join me anytime but for now-“ he adjusted himself on his seat and raised his voice to address the court- “let us have a feast tonight and raise our mugs in union of the Jotun king and his subjects.” Helblindi scoffed and spat on the floor. Loki did not look but he was surely observing his every move. “In union of an excuse of a giant who does not even resemble-“ “I would like you to stop there my brother-“ Loki announced as he got up, letting the whole room take one united gasp at the scene- “before you start regretting your own words.” You blinked at the reactions to turn and look at Loki. Now the lights from the ceiling did a stupendous job of catching the widening of your eyes while your pupils were dilated in an emotion only known to you when you witnessed- for the first time in your life- Loki's skin change its shade and features. The flawless paleness gave way to a blue so deep over those arms he rarely displayed in public. The colour ran up his neck as well, covering him all the way. And along with this shade came ridges on his skin which apparently every Jotun had; running up his face and down his limbs. Those smaragdines and whites around them were now replaced with red. “This Jotun-“ his voice was low, but with enough weight that it echoed to the last corner of the room- “has seen enough lives to know what is hatred and what is fear. So next time you try to question my right, Helblindi, know that I have no qualms in exploiting them in a way which seems necessary for me.” Helbindi did not seem to stand his ground much now. Not after a few Jotuns who stood up to speak against the giant who had been torturing them for a while with his reckless and greed-ridden laws. Javier's camera was stuck on your reaction in the middle of this mild chaos. Your parted lips, wide eyes, stare lingering all over the God's body, your throat feeling the urge to swallow the dryness; it really was a sight, an emotion that many fanfiction artists would want to take inspiration from. Loki- who was smirking at the warm welcome he was receiving through the roar against his brother- turned around to look at you. His smirk disappeared and his usually focused gaze was interrupted with those unsure blinks at your features. Before he could explain himself, one giantess blocked his way to you with a bow. "We have prepared the Bath for you and your companions, your grace," she announced, still with her head held low. His gaze was running between you and her. To make it easier for him, you got up from your seat and walked down to the giantess who wanted to show you, Javier and Lulu to the Bath. "Nandi," Loki finally looked at the giantess. "Yes, your grace." "I need you to choose four of your most loyal companions to guard them." "They are all ready to escort your companions where you please." Loki smiled at Nandi. "I owe it to your mother to protect you, your Grace, like she protected me and my children." "My mother had a loyal friend in you," the God appreciated before walking down the throne and away from the crowd. The drone followed him.  The graceful composure of the God crumbled like a dry sand castle as soon as the doors closed behind him and he was alone in the icy corridors. His pace got faster by the second, his eyes searching everywhere. "This isn't fair, you know." Loki stopped at the echo of your voice. The pause of one breath, and he knew where to turn to find you standing in the shadows. Javier stood by the pillar next to you two with his camera, capturing this strange tick on Loki's features. You stepped out of the shadows, your gaze uninterrupted, looking right at those red eyes. "Do you know the amount of chaos it would create on earth if people knew that you look like..." "Like what? A monster?" Loki's voice was heavy. "Nah don't say i-dammit! Now I cannot stop imagining the term monsterfuckers." Loki blinked. His brows furrowed at you ever so slightly. "I mean-" you sighed with frustration- "was it not enough that you looked like a literal God in a human form that you had to now go and reveal that you are one buffed up alien? Look at you? You are one breath away from starting a cult of monsterfuckers! Do you realise that? Look at-" you grabbed that one barely naked blue arm and tried to squeeze it- "this firm, cold, arm that is people are going think about in-" you tried to breathe, your gaze still stuck on his shoulder- "their bed at night. God, why do have to be so-" you pointed at all of him with a frustration-filled, longing look of...disgust- "you." By now Loki was raising his brows in question and shifting his gaze between himself and you, clearly confused by your reaction. It even seemed he was a bit flustered at one point. You winced, looking at his body again. Your eyes followed the ridges on his face to his neck, plunging down his v neck t-shirt. With a frown you turned hastily, flinging your body involuntarily in the direction of the bath. "I bet they go all the way down," you whispered to yourself in between your sobs and walked away.

Loki: *still stands there* *blinks* *looks at the camera* what...*looks in her direction* *looks back* *does this two more times* what just happened?

The Resting Chambers: Next Day One of Javier's drones followed you from the balcony you were standing in to witness the first light of the nearest star in this frozen land. The snow-clad mountains were a majestic sight in their own stature. Even the smile emanating under the warmth of the star could not deny that. The giggles coming from inside the room broke the sweet hum of sync you were having with the weather, walking back in to find Skandi and Kolga, Nandi's daughters setting up the table with Jotunheim's specialities- snowberries, Kruweed- fresh seaweed from the frozen lake- and Lulu's favourite, spiked abalones. "What are you girls snickering about?" Lulu was already jumping on the table to sniff everything placed for his liking. Once he had inspected every single item, he went over to his bowl of abalones.

"Nothing," Skandi cooed, "just discussing how Loki-" Kolga elbowed her sister to correct herself- "how his Grace, keeps looking at you." Your hands paused for a fraction of a second near your mouth before the snowberry found its way in your mouth. "Look at me how?" "He looks at you as if you might vanish any second if he does not keep his eye on you," Kolga added, sitting down next to you. Her face had gentle tones all over it. Her eyes seemed to sparkle whenever she talked to you. "Are you being punished for something?" It took you some time to realise she was genuinely curious. "What. No. Why would you think that?" "Because his grace keeps you under guard. I thought pets were kept in cages in Midgard." Skandi turned to Kolga with a gasp. "He caged her last night then?!" The camera captured your furrowed brows sitting there confused in between the sisters. You opened your mouth to speak but lost to Kolga. "You mean when he told off Helbindi that she will be sleeping in his quarters." Skandi nodded vigorously. "He could not have kept her in a real cage." "Maybe he chained her to the bed." "Ah. So he could keep an eye on her at night." "Is that what happened, y/n?" You hid your face behind the mug of tea that did not seem to leave your lips while your free hand seemed to check your cheeks for their temperature. "This tea is good," your burned throat appreciated the drink. "He seems quite...what is the word... possessive of her," Skandi commented. You shared a look with the drone- your face devoid of any emotions. Kolga hummed in agreement, popping a snowberry in her mouth. "I thought Kruge would die last night by his hands." Now that seemed to catch your attention. "Kruge who?" "Helbindi's guard. The one who nearly pushed you into the wall last night." "When you went inside," Kolga continued, "his Grace took Kruge's staff and struck him in his limbs and threatened him to never touch you again if he wanted to stay alive." "Kruge should be glad he did not use his powers on him lest he would be a part of the dark pit's icicles by now." Kolga and Skandi stopped talked to watch you lost in deep thought while your hands scratched Lulu's back on their own, making the floof purr quite loud. "Is she making this little creature vibrate?" Skandi asked her sister in a whisper. "It looks like it," her sister whispered back in awe.

You: *whispering at Javier* What? No, it's okay. We can record here. No one can say anything. *sits on the stone seat in the gallery that seems empty to the camera* *adjusts hair* is it recording? Of course. It's always recording. *clears throat* *at normal tone* So, clearly...*inhales* *raises brows* things are barely standing still right now. And it is clearly not helping that Loki is having sudden urges to pick a fight with whoever bullies me. *Javier's drone catches him discreetly signing at you to lower your voice a bit* You: *irritated* I mean does he want me to get bullied more? Bullies are always going to pick on the weak one in the group for fuck's sake! And evidently, I am the weaker sex. *the camera catches a movement behind you, turning to focus on the source* You: and his highness does not seem to realise that it will be too easy for these giants to torture his weaknesses out of me. Does he not see that? *squints at Javier* what? The drone is recording Javier aggressively telling you to cut it out while looking pale as his gaze goes far behind you. You turn to look where his gaze is going. Javier's camera automatically focuses on Kruge standing next to the last pillar, throwing daggers in your direction through his bloody eyes for a moment before disappearing somewhere. You: *turn around with a shade lighter yourself* *the camera is panning over your face now as you look at it* *whispers* Fuck!

Five Minutes Later One of the drones buzzed against the ice that separated the balcony and the bedroom, tapping itself repeatedly on the transparent frost till the door to the room opened. It turned around to record you and Javier rush inside- the latter placing his camera in his bag and packing his stuff. "Okay, relax, relax!" you stressed to the hyperventilating boy. "We need to get out of here," he signed. "Javi, take three deep breaths? Yes? One? Two? Good. Three. Now think about it. As long as we are with Loki, no one will dare harm us. Okay? Not to mention he has allotted us our personal security team." Javier was on the verge of sobbing. "What about when Loki is not around. What will we do then?" "Javi, don't think like that," you nearly fumed at him. "Loki is in the throne room right now. You take the guards with you and go to him and when you find a window let him know what happened, okay?" Javier was still taking deep breaths while sweating through his fur coat. He nodded. "What about you?" "I...have Lulu." You pointed at the floof sleeping with his belly bared and his paws out. "I won't leave the room, don't worry." Once convinced you'll be fine, Javier hurried outside, leaving you in a silence only filled by light snores of your baby. The drone recorded you biting your lip and tying your hair up in a bun. "Okay," you whispered to yourself, "now we wait." It also recorded the sudden change in the shade of one section of the wall opposite to your back. With the focus still on you, the section of the wall appeared to open out, revealing the pitch blackness lit by a pair of red eyes. The next thing you knew, the drone was lying on the floor, its barely working lens recording your muffled screams and boots struggling to find the ground as a pair of blue feet walked past the lens before it went black.

One Hour Later The camera sat on the stone seat, recording the periodic tapping of Javier's foot from outside the frame. Loki still had audience. The Jotuns discussed every aspect of Jotunheim with the king. Loki sat patiently, listening to every word before advising them necessary steps. The majority was satisfied with the King's suggestions. Many were even in awe. There were a few who were dissatisfied no matter what the God mentioned. "Well-" Loki sat straight, addressing the whole court- "this concludes our day then." "Your grace," one giant bowed at the steps, "there are a few more issues that need your kind attention." Loki sighed, his hand resting on the armrest, his fingers running over his lips in thought. Not sure about Loki, but the camera recorded the patient that ran out of Javier. He got up from his seat, immediately catching the God's eye, who was quick to raise his fingers just for the boy to stop taking any further steps towards him.  "You have stalled me enough," the God acknowledged, catching the giant off guard. "Helbindi should know it better than anyone that a coup against me would be a futile attempt." Loki did not budge where he sat, just his finger drumming on the arm rest. "And I am in no mood for a mutiny."

.

The one drone who had been playing with the Jotun kids picked up the damage to a drone in the resting chambers. It buzzed through the halls, trying to pick up your trail, finding corridors and corners to fly through, walking down dark pathways with no windows and steep stairs spiraling deep into the mountains. On its way it found Lulu howling and meowing in a frantic daze, walking down the same path where he found your scent. And it seemed like he found you through the same dark pathway that ultimately reached an opening.  There was nothing but ice all around and in every form. A section of the mountain that opened to the outside with a catch. There were cells cut into this ice for prisoners. Shackles of cold metal rested in every cell. Each of them had metals bars to keep the captives in and an opening in the ice to keep any grain of warmth out. And to add to it all, this entire prison cell rested on a frost chunk hanging at the edge of the mountain. "Stop, please, you cannot do this!" Your voice and footsteps could be heard echoing through this section. The drone buzzed and landed on the wall to record the Kruge stripping you of your fur coat with a maniacal grin on his face. "Hey! HEY!! Give me back my coat!" Kruge stopped you from going for your coat by his hand coming for your throat. His grip made it hard for you to breathe as you struggled to get out of the hold, your nails trying their best to dig into that stubborn cold skin of his. Lulu ran and growled at the giant, scratching at his ankles till the latter kicked him away. "What do you want?" you barely managed to get out of your mouth. "We want Loki out of Jotunheim," he growled in your face, smacking your back in the ice wall behind you before letting go of your throat. You fell down with a thud and a groan, taking in as much air as your windpipe allowed. "Okay," you wheezed, "okay. You let me talk to Loki and I will convince him to leave Jotunheim. I promise. I pinky promise." You even raised your pinky. But Kruge was already closing the bars on you. Lulu ran and jumped through the bars to stop by your side, sniffing and crying, wanting to make sure you were okay. "No no no no," you crawled to the bars, trying to wrap your fingers around them but failing once your skin felt the vicious cold personally, "please don't do this. You have to stop. Now." "You said you know Loki's weakness," a voice boomed from the shadows where you had been dragged from. A very familiar and ominous voice. The drone turned to capture Helbindi stepping into the ice prison with a stature fit for kings. "His essence is lost. It is a secret no more, you quim." You looked at Lulu in confused defeat. "Why does it feel like he called me a whore?" you whispered. Lulu threw his own curses at the giant. "Listen, sir, Mr Helbindi," you began, "you want the throne, right? And I want to get out of here alive. How about I take Loki with me? You get back your kingly rights, I get my friends back and we go our separate ways. Everybody wins!" Helbindi came down on his knees in front of you. A smile rested on those cracked lips of his. His hand went past the bars- to your surprise- and landed on your cheeks. Your gaze kept shifting between his eyes and his hand while your body tried to move away from his hold. But he was one stubborn bastard. "He must have kept you alive for a reason." Helbindi was talking to himself now. His thumb rubbed against your skin, something that was visibly making you uncomfortable. "Ah...he keeps you to satisfy his nightly needs." You pushed yourself away from Helbindi, only to be forced into the bars by his hold around your skull; his chuckle resonating through the prison. "Do not worry my little whore," he whispered right in your ear while his icy breath ran over your skin, "you will be my pet soon. And unlike Loki-" he licked your cheek with his tongue, driving you mad with disgust- "I prefer violence even in my chambers." Your breaths were shallow. A single tear falling from your eyes as you did you best to maintain your features. "You are making a grave mistake," you whispered through your teeth. Lulu tried to claw at Helbindi too but Kruge was already kicking him away, earning a death stare from you. The giant struck his nail in your throat, driving it deep till there was blood. "The only mistake that was made was by you coming into my land. And you all will pay for it." Dropping you back into the snow, Helbindi got up and walked back into the darkness.

.

Loki watched the doors open to let Helbindi in, his gait ever so dominating as he walked past the judgmental eyes of every other giant in the court with his own little battalion following him, carrying weapons of all sorts. "A king with no powers has no right to sit on the throne, Laufeyson," Helbindi roared, ground his staff a few feet away from the stairs to the throne, creating a crack in the ground. "And a Jotun with Asgard in his blood has no right to stay alive in Jotunheim." Weapons were drawn at anyone who was not on Helbindi's side. Javier was already on his feet, running by Loki's side with his camera. Loki still had his mouth covered with his hand, as if in a tired trance. "Everybody out," he commanded ever so smoothly to his audience- who was hesitant at first, but left as soon as the God's eyes pierced through every last one of them. Left alone with his brother's radical followers, he sighed out loud, his fingers still drumming. Javier felt a buzz in his pocket, making him take out the little tablet he used to control his cameras. "Your actions with every passing moment make me more sure of your inability to rule over the subjects, brother mine," the God simply commented. The seriousness on Javier's face was turning into a field of fear. "Oh, I am not asking, brother mine," Helbindi snared at Loki, "I am taking what is mine." "And why would I give you anything you want." "Ask your little plaything," Helbindi smirked. The drumming of those pale fingers stopped. Silence eroded in the throne room. And slowly a shallow panting was audible from the God's side. The camera suddenly lost its balance and fell down on the armrest before toppling on the throne behind Loki, his back still in the frame. Light reflected through Javier's eyes, more precisely through his tears, as he moved the tablet towards Loki. "Stop, please, you cannot do this!" your voice echoed through the tablet, and all the lines on Loki's face disappeared. His body got up from the throne, his eyes still stuck on the device, looking at the aftermath of Helbindi's actions. There was no emotion on the God's face while he witnessed everything recorded on the drone. He did not even budge till the recording finished. Once the screen blacked out, he swerved the tablet for Javier to take back. His gaze was apparently still stuck on the black stones on the floor, his jaw threateningly sharp in whatever light coming from the nearest star. "If you want to see her alive again, go back to your ship before the star drops fro-," "You touched her." His voice was just a decibel higher than a whisper; his shoulders stiff. The silver bracelets were visible on his wrists, more so with the light reflecting from them. His pale fingers now turned into fists. "You hurt her."  Nothing but the resonating crack of a metal reverberated through the hall and everything went black.

.

The drone sat over the bars, recording the visible shivering breaths coming out of you while your skin turned pale, your fingers blue and your hairs were already collecting frost over them, despite moving your legs as close as you possibly could to your body. "P-plea-hease," your voice shuddered, "s-s-stop hi-im. T-there is-s-s st-i-ill time." "Your master is quite possibly begging on his knees by now," Kruge cackled, gulping down the mead and pouring more from the barrel next to him. Lulu was trying his best to keep your warm with his little body, wrapping himself around your neck while whimpering for you. Kruge was about to finish another mug when his ears caught a snicker that slowly turned into a weak laughter. The drone recorded you chuckling through the pain of the blight. "What is so comedic," Kruge snarled at you. "You thought I was telling you to stop for Loki's sake?" you laughed a little more, making the Jotun simmer with building rage. "I was telling you to stop your master before it's too late, you sewage rat's tick." The lens panned in on your features, all those helpless tears replaced by a smirk that could put the devil to shame. "You master thinks I am Loki's weakness." Your eyes glistened with a tint of some hidden darkness inside them in contrast to all the white around you. "Because I made him think that, you buffoon." "He is nothing without his essen-" "Count your peaceful breaths, you son of a bitch," you stressed, never batting your eyelids, "because you are not going to die an easy death today." You smiled turned into a chuckle before your eyes turned heavy and you fell down. The drone- in its last few minutes- went dark, but not before recording Lulu's cried, mewls, howls that slowly turned into a blood curdling roar echoing till the end.

[evakuality]

Matteo - episode two

Social media - I feel like the social media doesn’t always work for me just because I often sleep at the wrong times of day for Germany and so when or why things happened sometimes feels difficult for me to judge.  For example, I feel like the Sara and Leonie and messing around with David at PE feels somehow out of place.  They didn’t seem to know each other much on Friday when Sara interrupted Matteo and David and yet here they are hanging out and playing together like long time friends on social media not long after.  It’s a lovely set up for Matteo finding out more about David as he reluctantly follows Sara’s social media, but the connection from one moment to the other is difficult to follow.  More than ever I wish we had more of a sense of David and what he was up to behind the scenes so to speak.  Also, Sara’s desperation around Matteo when she’s talking to Leonie is so painful.  By the end of this episode Leonie is all ‘you need to get over this asshole’ but Sara is still super invested in this thing she’s built up in her head.  She wants this to be real so much that she’s ignoring all the red flags.  It doesn’t help that Matteo is actively curating his social media presence to fit in - so he does a lot of stuff with Sara for her Instagram.  That it’s all the same sort of stuff he does with his friends seems to go over her head - he doesn’t see her the way she wants to be seen, but then he also does things like knee-jerk into an invite to his home when he sees David hugging Leonie.  What he does and why makes sense (we’ll get to that in the actual clip) but it doesn’t make it any easier for Sara.  Though, really, she should listen to Leonie who is the only one in this scenario who has her back and can clearly see what is happening.

clip one - I really like seeing characters peacefully chilling in their own space and just being relaxed.  Matteo’s not exactly happy, of course, but he seems content in this scene.  He has his game, he has his little stalker moment on David and there are no expectations on him.  But then of course Hans comes along.  Hans, bless him, doesn’t mean to be forcing expectations on Matteo, but unfortunately he’s hitting some sore spots for Matteo.  Matteo knows he’s into guys, is fairly obvious about his attractions, but there’s this very painful understanding that the guys he likes can’t or don’t see him the same way.  David is still something exciting at this point - they made a connection and while Matteo doesn’t know if he likes guys too, he also knows they have some kinship on some issues.  So his gut reaction is to hide the picture he’s been looking at despite it being on his girlfriend’s Instagram, because it feels incriminating to him.  Here he is fantasising over yet another guy who is probably straight and probably has a thing with Leonie (he is extrapolating HARD from the small bits of info he has and from Sara’s reactions).  It’s sweet that Hans literally comes to Matteo to get advice on his choices of guys, but it feels threatening to Matteo both in a ‘I can’t let on that I’m gay’ way and because it feels like someone expecting something of him which he isn’t capable of giving - it’s very obvious that the guys Hans is choosing from and the type of guy Matteo likes are poles apart and so he literally doesn’t know which of the guys Hans wants is best.  They really aren’t his type at all.  

I also have to say that Sara’s demands for instant answers is exhausting.  Why do we have this expectation?  She’s decided that he’s not being good to her because he’s not instantly responding, but it shouldn’t be such a norm that we reply right away.  In Matteo’s case, he’s trying to chill and relax and we have both Hans and Sara intruding on that space with expectations of him.  My introverted self shudders at this and I feel for Matteo.

clip two - this of course leads into clip two when Sara confronts Matteo again.  She is once again, the one trying to use words and communicate properly.  This is exactly what we tell people to do when trying to work with relationships but she’s not really forceful enough as yet and she chooses to do it in front of his friends which doesn’t really work.  For her, she thinks this will legitimise it and has perhaps subconsciously picked up that he’s far more willing to play along if he has an audience and so this works for her.  But for him, it’s even more awkward than usual because she’s showing up his lack of attention in front of his friends.  So while she probably thinks she got some sort of positive sign out of this, for him this was very uncomfortable and he’s really starting to find it difficult to keep this up.  The discussion of relationships and communication in relationships is also very interesting.  Abdi, who seems to be really off the wall and stupid here, is the one who actually hits on the reality of the situation.  We see how attempted communication works in relationships alongside Matteo and Sara, but we also hear about Carlos and his frustrations with Kiki and a lot is being set up for the future.  We’re already getting set up for Matteo feeling really shit when David won’t contact him, when he feels played and on and off, hot and cold.  This thing with Sara here comes back to bite him later when he’s on the receiving end and it allows him to find his moment of kinship with Sara later on.  Once he knows how this feels, he realises how shitty he was being here.  

The ‘when they don’t talk to you, they want to sleep with you’ stuff is fascinating because a) that’s definitely not what’s happening with Matteo - he absolutely doesn’t want to sleep with Sara, but b) also it kind of IS what happens with David later.  He wants things to progress with Matteo but doing that means he has to come out and so he has to retreat.  Totally different reasons, but the idea is the same.  ‘You have a lot to learn’ the boys tell Matteo, and they’re right even if not in the way they mean.  Most of what Matteo needs to learn and figure out in relationships is actually touched on in this clip.  Of course, to really ram this point home, we get the deeply awkward Matteo and David meeting by the lockers.  David appears to be invested as well - coming up to Matteo, making the first contact here in a way.  It’s awkward for sure, but in a very different way to Sara and Matteo.  Here, they both want to actually connect but are still feeling out how to approach each other.  Of course, they are again interrupted before this can develop better, and again Matteo’s response to a romantic advice question is ‘I don’t know’ - it’s his way to slide out of having to be committed to something, but also both questions (Hans’ and Leonie’s) veer quite close to things he doesn’t want to be open about - interest in guys on the one hand and specifically David’s relationship status on the other.  So he hides behind these words and in both cases the person fills in their own gaps and assumes he’s helped them.

The bit with Amira and the weed is so close to the original that there’s not a lot to say, except that I do like that she gets to make her own defence with Matteo as a back up more than the one speaking for her the whole time as Isak does.  I’m also highly amused that they never attempt to make this exchange again and the weed just gets used by the girls.  Neither Matteo nor Abdi seems worried about it after this point.  For Matteo that makes sense - David starts to become much more important, but for Abdi it’s just funny.  Maybe he got some more weed somewhere and just decides it’s not worth pursuing anymore.

clip three - this clip is just sad all around.  Matteo clearly does care about Sara and he’d make a good friend for her but she has these expectations of him that don’t work for either of them but in totally different ways and they talk at cross purposes throughout the whole thing.  We find out later everything that’s going on with Sara here and why she wants distracting, but she’s chosen the wrong person or at least the wrong way.  And this whole idea that she can force sex on him when he’s very very clearly not ready is so uncomfortable.  Even if this was a very normal relationship in which both parties genuinely had feelings for each other, him pulling back and not being ready isn’t a bad thing and should be respected.  That Sara uses this as evidence later that he’s a shitty boyfriend is unfair.  He is a shitty boyfriend in many many ways but this isn’t one of them.  @sun-undone made a wonderful series of videos on this season and mentioned how awkward and uncomfortable the extreme close ups are in this scene (and many of the others between these two).  It works to make a claustrophobic and trapped feeling for Matteo.  We’re so tight on his face that he has no way to escape and what’s really interesting about it is that often when Sara is in reverse shot to these close ups the camera is further away allowing her to feel more comfortable.  Which sums up visually everything about this relationship really.

I want to touch briefly on the food thing - in this scene Matteo brings food for Sara, and food is usually used to show nurturing and caring etc etc.  And then he places it as far from her as he can.  Contrast this with how he uses food with David, making it playful and literally bringing him into its production and they eat together.  It’s very clear that while he cares about Sara and wants to connect with her, he’s not willing to properly nurture her in any of the ways she needs.  He also makes it very clear that it’s from her mother and not him.

clip four - in this context, clip four is very sad.  It’s just a short moment where Matteo watches David and sees him smile at Leonie and hug her.  It immediately makes him sad (sadder than usual, which is fairly sad at this point) and we just saw how little interest Matteo has in sex, but that sight and all the things it brings up for him (which have been set up through the previous episode) results in him deciding to just get it over with and try to sleep with Sara.  Of course, for her this means a whole different thing to him.  The emojis etc that he uses are really playful and happy but the Matteo we see on screen as he does that is so far from that it’s super painful to watch.  More examples of how his social media presence does not reflect his genuine lived experience.  She sees this as a final acceptance of what’s happening between them and how he now wants to be with her.  For him, it’s a final desperate attempt to stop being so invested in these guys who don’t want him and to focus on someone he knows actually does.  But it doesn’t make him happy, and he in fact looks much sadder at the end than he does at the start.

clip five - A continuation of the previous one really.  He’s decided this has to happen, has actively set up the date for the end of the week and is now trying to find a way to make it work for him.  But he looks SO depressed and out of sorts when he does so, made more so when the responses he reads are things like ‘why would you want to sleep with someone if you’re not into her’ which is a question he has no good answer to.  Of course we also get the moment when he finds David’s Instagram and the picture he’s posted and the way he responds to that is much more genuine and authentic than anything he’s done with Sara.  I do like how often we get subtle moments of comparison between how Matteo reacts to Sara vs how he reacts to David.  Once again the social media is nice in this part.  Hans and Linn and their conversations and the way Matteo is then drawn in and included.  I like that they chose to document such a small and insignificant moment, eating food together, in such a way.  It makes the ‘big’ stuff that’s scattered through feel more authentic when it’s mixed in with such normal social media behaviour.  

clip six - The cross dressing in this clip makes me feel really awkward, partly because cross dressing in general feels weird (just... dress however you like whenever you like, you know?) but obviously also because of David.  How horrible this must feel for him (and as an aside, the school must have known why he changed to them so late and how traumatic it has been for him - why did they approve the topic????), but consequently how good it must be for him that Matteo doesn’t engage with the dressing up.  On another note, Sara talking over Matteo is again a great representation of the whole way their relationship works (and how she thinks one should work maybe?)  She speaks for him and makes assumptions about what he wants in many of their interactions and it’s no different here.  I guess she’s so desperate for this to be something real that she can’t let anyone speak who may ruin that - up to and including her supposed boyfriend.  He looks so checked out and irritated with this whole situation when she’s talking for him and it doesn’t get any better after she leaves and the boys go right back to sex talk.  This whole episode is a good representation of how little presence Matteo has in his own life, particularly when he’s outside his own space and/or with other people.  The one person who sparks any sort of difference is David.  In this whole clip, Matteo doesn’t speak a word (he tries to but Sara leaps right in as if she owns his home, which.... hmmmmm) which is a huge contrast with the final clip:

clip seven - this is such a great clip and it’s fascinating that it’s so long compared to the rest given that not a lot actually happens in it.  But that’s part of its charm - this is Matteo’s and our chance to meet and get to know David properly which is allowed time to breathe and relax into it.  And over the course of the nine or so minutes, the two of them do get more and more relaxed and easy with each other.  Also, here’s to the random ticket collector who facilitated the start of this.  If he hadn’t come along and David hadn’t decided to step in to save Matteo from the consequences of his own actions, they’d probably still be staring awkwardly at each other to this day.  But also, Matteo’s flirting when he genuinely wants to do it appears to be ‘hey do you want to smoke?’ and despite David clearly not being all that into it, it works presumably because David is also besotted already and happy to go along with literally anything Matteo might suggest (like some terrible sandwich toppings).  

But honestly, the heart of this clip is literally this developing bond between the two boys and I was trying to work out why the montage ‘getting to know you’ sequence works better here than it does for Mia and Alex and I think in the end it comes down to baggage and also timing.  David is not dragging baggage behind him; we don’t have the same sense of ‘why does s/he fall for him?’ with David that we do with Alex.  In Alex’s case, Mia had been very open about how much she hated Alex and how he was treating Kiki and also just how awful she felt about being bribed into going on a date with him.  Given how important that was, we needed to see more of their bonding so we too could see Alex’s personality.  Instead we’re told that Mia starts to like him without being shown any real proof.  Whereas with David, we don’t know him just like Matteo doesn’t know him, so having some conversation filled with compliments and small moments of bonding and developing trust interspersed with the montage actually works.  We have a real sense of the sorts of things they’re talking about and the way they’re talking and we’re shown in montage that there’s more happening behind that.  In this case it works to show the development where for me it fell flat with Mia because of how long we were told and shown Alex was an asshole for.  

The upshot of this is that they have both shown vulnerability on screen by the end of the episode and have both shown themselves to be careful and considerate of the boundaries around those vulnerabilities (Matteo respects David’s wish to keep certain pages of his art book private and David doesn’t mock or scorn Matteo’s fears about not knowing what he wants to do after school).  It means that when David tells Matteo what his favourite movie is, Matteo is able to admit that he doesn’t know it.  There’s a long pause before he says it, almost like he’s weighing it up whether he wants to admit that or not.  But in the end he does say it, allows himself to show more vulnerability.  Unlike Isak, who tries to bluster his way through knowing what Even finds interesting, Matteo is willing to be real and genuine with David.  

Basically, this clip serves as a nice contrast to the rest of the episode, where people speak over Matteo and don’t allow him the space tp be himself.  Both boys here are able to be open and show themselves in a way that we repeatedly see Matteo at least unable to do so far.  So it’s not surprise that when reminded that Sara is coming he tries to remove himself from that situation.  The long look he gives David while Sara’s message is on screen really shows just how different these two people feel to him and honestly, she needed to take Leonie’s advice after this.  Matteo has made it very clear that Sara’s needs are not at the front of his mind and she really really should take that hint.  

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep15 [FINALE]

For better or worse I think Ryukishi achieved exactly what he set out to do with this series, and I guess everyone’s just gonna be forced to reckon with how they feel about his own perspective on this franchise versus how they feel about it, lol.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut, plus Umineko spoilers.

I’m not entirely sure where to even start with this, but I guess the TL;DR is that I honestly think Gou/Sotsu was ultimately just fine despite it’s issues, and part me of can’t help but be like ‘I told you so, lol’ about how this really did end with this episode, and also committed pretty hard to the Umineko prequel elements.

It’s not like all of my theories were correct in the end, but I at least think I was pretty spot on in my prediction last week that this would end with the miracle of them side-stepping the sword issue entirely and choosing the third option of forgiveness and reconciliation. And also them ending it with an epilogue where we go back to the Matsuribayashi timeline and get a happy ending for Rika and Satoko that provides a ‘non-magical interpretation’ for the story while also giving us an idea of how Bern and Lambda formally split off into their own entities and start the relationship we see in Umineko.

I didn’t quite expect them to go down the route of having them agree to just spend a few years apart and accept that they don’t need to literally always be together, but I think that was a really good way to wrap things up between them. It’s pretty much the healthiest compromise to their conflict that doesn’t come across like it completely invalidates one of their dreams. I get why it feels too anti-climactic and convenient for people, but when you pull at that thread you get into wider topics of what the entire story is about, since this was always going to end with Satoko being redeemed and forgiven. People might not have taken him seriously, but Ryukishi was 100% genuine about his regrets about Matsuribayashi’s ending, and how part of why he came up with this new story was to create a better ending, while also doing more with Satoko as a character.

Basically I think a lot of the fandom negativity towards this boils down to people fundamentally disagreeing with the idea that Matsuribayashi was even ‘flawed’ in this sort of way to begin with, or that Satoko was badly written. It’s valid to disagree on this stuff, but at the very least we all have to grapple with how Ryukishi has his own specific relationship with this series.

People like to focus on how he’s a troll who likes to mess with people, but I feel like this is a bit of a wake-up call for people about how he’s actually extremely sincere, almost to a fault, and he likes to use his stories as a vehicle for expressing his personal philosophies and ideals. 

This whole story is also a good example of how he just sees this as ultimately being a fictional story about fictional characters, and not literally a matter of real people who need to be sentenced for their crimes or whatever. As early as the original VN he was almost being outright preachy about the message that nobody is irredeemable, and that philosophy carries through to this. But to be more specific, nobody *in this story* is irredeemable. He’s pretty open about the fact that in practice you can’t apply this sort of ideal to real life, but fictional stories are their own separate matter.

I think this whole issue of how he views this as a story first and foremost is also the central reason why this ended in a way that comes across as Satoko being let off too easy for her crimes. One way or another, Ryukishi’s made it clear that he sees this as being no different to how other characters had arcs where they committed crimes but still got forgiven, or how Takano is basically a straight up war criminal who also got forgiven for her crimes.

Anyway, this episode at least committed to the Umineko stuff, so that was satisfying. Sure there’s people that still want to deny it, but at this point I think a lot of people are just being stubborn, so it’s not like anything would have really convinced them, lol. I’m also genuinely not sure what people even would have expected them to do beyond what we saw her, aside from having the two of them literally put on their gothic lolita outfits and turn to the camera and go ‘we are literally Bernkastel and Lambdadelta from the video game series Umineko When They Cry’. I almost feel like there’s some kind of misunderstanding from people who aren’t familiar with Umineko when it comes to the idea of what it even means for this to be ‘an Umineko prequel’, or ‘a Bern/Lambda origin story’. I mean, this is quite literally exactly what I expected and hoped for in that regard. It’s not like I was expecting them to incorporate anything related to, like, Beatrice or the Ushiromiya family.

I think this is also one of those things where you just have to decide for yourself whether or not you want to earnestly engage with the story that’s being told, or if you want to assume that there’s some level of malice or trickery going on.

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting them to literally have Rika and Satoko recite part of Bern and Lambda’s final conversation with each other word for word, lmao. Combined with the scene at the end where ‘Witch Satoko’ talks to herself about how she’s going to give her body back to Satoko while she goes chasing after Rika, it was literally just the exact origin story of their relationship as it’s depicted in Umineko.

I still feel like this would all only really be ‘worth it’ if we actually get something like a full on anime remake for Umineko, but at this point I can’t help but feel satisfied with this part of it all.

It’s not like I think Gou/Sotsu as a whole is perfect or anything, though. I don’t hate it as much as basically everyone else does, but I think Ryukishi’s the sort of VN writer who really struggles with the shift to writing for an anime. I think a big part of the frustration people have is just from how this is formatted as a weekly anime series spread across basically an entire year, instead of being something like a stand-alone VN chapter that you can read at whatever pace you want, even if it ultimately takes the same amount of time to read as it would to watch all of Gou/Sotsu.

There’s also the whole issue of this being a sort-of-remake, which snowballed into a whole list of structural problems. They absolutely tried too hard to have their cake and eat it too, and they should have just committed to it being made for old fans only, instead of trying to sincerely incorporate elements from the VN that old fans don’t care about anymore because they’ve gone over it already.

And as I’ve said several times before, it was a major issue for them to decide to put Nekodamashi in the middle of Gou and then spend like 20 episodes on flashback answer arcs until finally getting back to that cliffhanger. I’ve been waiting until this all ended to decide exactly how I feel about that, and now that it’s all over I still think it was a really bad idea. I don’t think it was an issue for them to reveal that Satoko’s the culprit that early, but having the gun cliffhanger specifically happen that early just gave people misguided expectations and tainted the answer arcs because people were just impatient to get back to the cliffhanger. And then the cliffhanger itself ended up being somewhat anti-climactic, which is what I’d been fearing would happen. It would have worked fine if they shuffled it around so that the cliffhanger happened right before Kagurashi and was followed up in the very next episode, or if this was a VN where you could binge your way through the flashback stuff, but spending like half of an entire real-life year to get back to that point only to have the resolution be ‘Satoko just shoots Rika and the death loops keep going’ just didn’t really work properly.

I’m a lot more generous towards the Akashi arcs than most people are, since I think they really over-estimate how much re-used content there is there, but they still suffer from the central issue of the show trying to be accessible for new fans. It could have been heavily condensed otherwise, without losing anything in terms of Satoko’s whole character arc.

On the other hand I think the first half of Kagurashi was awful specifically because it highlighted how bad of an idea it was to put Nekodamashi so early in the story. They still ended up having to go back to that arc and repeat it anyway, in the most 1:1 recap-y way in the whole show, but that wouldn’t have even been an issue in the first place if that was instead the first time that arc happened in the show.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I would rearrange the story to make it flow better while still following Ryukishi’s intentions, and I think they could have condensed it into a 2-cour season with this sort of structure if they did something like this:

-First arc where Rika gets thrown back into the loop and quickly figures out that somebody intentionally caused this to happen, and it’s not Takano because at least in this idea of mine she’d try and investigate her only to find out that this version of Takano regrets everything and is planning to flee the village with Tomitake.

Basically I think this could tie into the idea of Satoko initially wanting to just concoct an idea world for Rika so that she won’t want to leave this time, but sort of like what I think happens in Saikoroshi, Rika would still reject it, and this time around there’d be the additional layer of her knowing that somebody did this to her for an unknown reason. Maybe they could even initially market it as a new adaptation or a remake of Saikoroshi, and then reveal that it’s a sequel, to keep that whole element to the series. Either way I think this would end with everything going to shit when Rika rejects that fragment and wants to go back to St. Lucia’s, and Satoko basically snaps and kills her, and that way the audience can find out about her being the culprit without Rika finding out about it yet.

Maybe there could even be some dramatic irony where Rika’s attempts to meddle with certain ‘trigger events’, and her displaying her looper side, inadvertently triggers people around her to get paranoid, and the whole fragment would start to spiral into tragedy from there. I think they could at least use the whole conflict in Tatariakashi about Teppei actually being good this time as a starting point for that sorta thing.

-Second arc, rounding out the first cour, which is basically just Satokowashi. I don’t think there’s much that you’d need to change here, but like I said above I like the idea of her initially trying to just invent a perfect world for Rika and her to live in, instead of jumping straight to murder. But maybe instead of her literally just watching Rika’s loops, she could instead just be stuck using her looping powers to try and figure out how to create that ‘perfect world’ in the first place, by personally investigating all of the different tragedies and how to prevent them.

-Staring the second cour, a third arc where we basically just get to see those loops Satoko goes through, and her whole process of solving the tragedies and ‘purifying’ characters like Teppei and Takano, until we eventually see her perspective on the first arc, and how she reacts to Rika ultimately rejecting the world she tried to make for her.

-A fourth and final arc which is basically just Nekodamashi + Kagurashi, where she just totally snaps and tries to just torture Rika into never wanting to leave the village again, and eventually Satoko gets exposed and they have their direct confrontation with each other.

With that sorta story structure, you’d keep all the relevant bits of Gou/Sotsu as it is now, while being more focused on Rika and Satoko instead of doing kinda half-assed reruns of the Rena and Shion arcs. It’d also push the big cliffhanger between them until near the end of the show, while still revealing to the audience relatively early on that Satoko’s the culprit.

I’d also like them to do more with Satoshi and Shion, so maybe like with how Teppei gets redeemed and Satoko almost gets to have a happy life with him in Tatariakashi, the central question arc of this hypothetical story could also involve Satoko making sure that Satoshi wakes up from his coma, and Shion also gets to have a good relationship with all of them. You could probably do something interesting with the idea of Satoshi and Shion being in the camp of not trusting Teppei and his whole redemption arc.

Honestly I could spend a long time talking about how I would have done things differently, lol. For one thing, I think the Akashi arcs would have been much better if they just changed it so that Satoko used psychological tactics to make people paranoid, and we completely cut out the whole syringe plot device. I get how it fits with Satoko’s whole certainty gimmick, but it made those arcs way too predictable. Even if we knew the outcome, it’d at least be entertaining to see exactly how Satoko might go out of her way to set up the different tragedies. We kinda got glimpses of that sorta plot point in Wataakashi when things seemed to go outside of her control, but they didn’t really do much with it.

Anyway, this is a whole lot of words to say that I think that in spite of the serious structural issues going on, I think Gou/Sotsu as a whole is fine, and was at least working with a lot of perfectly good ideas that could have been executed much better.

Also, on a side note, that one scene during their fist-fight at the start where the art-style changes a bit was kinda weird, but I really liked how it looked, and part of me almost wishes the whole show looked like that, lol. I like Akio Watanabe’s character designs, but I feel like that sort of stylized, almost TWEWY-ish art style would have been really fitting for this series, especially in the horror/action parts.

Oh, and the new rendition of You was so good it almost felt emotionally manipulative, lol.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 13, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Distractions) 

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This Fucking Turtle

The rock that Wei Wuxian and Wen Chao are standing on starts to move, because of course it does. It’s a tortoise shell, sort of. There are some problems with this ostensible tortoise. 

First, Murder Turtle a tortoise is technically a turtle don't @ me doesn't look anything like a turtle. I try really hard not to project my western mythologies onto Chinese works, but god dang this thing looks like the Loch Ness monster.

Second, its shell wobbles a bit, but there's no indication that the creature can move around the cave until much later. During an extended fight with several tasty cultivators, it stays put and just moves its head around.  

The immobility problem aside, it's not a terrible monster. After the hell dog, I'm relieved to have a normal CGI beastie where some things are done really pretty well. Its eyes and skin are particularly good.

What's not good are the teeth. When Murder Turtle closes its mouth, its long pointy upper teeth have nowhere to go, so they pierce its lower jaw and just sink in there. No wonder it's pissed off.

Its relationship with its shell is...well, let's save that for the next episode.

Irons in the Fire

Meanwhile,  Wang Lingjiao (Wen Chao's girlfriend) decides she's in the mood for barbequed MianMian, so she grabs a hot iron to burn her face.

Wei Wuxian to the rescue! He shoots three arrows at once and hits all three of his targets, in a move that he'll repeat with even more arrows at a later date.

Wang Lingjiao decides to throw the iron at MianMian, who decides not to duck, while Wei Wuxian leaps into the path of the iron and gets deeply burned on the chest through his clothing. This is absolutely definitely how time, things flying through the air, and branding irons work.

(more after the cut)

Jiang Cheng and Wen Zhuliu start fighting again. These two can't quit each other, almost like they have a date with destiny in their future.  Jiang Cheng shows off his purple bloomers while he and Wen Zhuliu try to outspin each other.

Camera operator: Why you gotta take it out on me?

Wen It’s Time To Say Goodbye

The Wens decide to dip, heading up the rock face and cutting the ropes behind them, which would be super inconvenient if several of the cultivators didn't know how to literally fly.

But they also put a bunch of rocks in the hole, while Wen Qing begs them not to do it.

Down at the bottom of the cave, everyone sits and chats, while Murder Turtle wishes it had legs so it could chase them. Oh wait, it does have legs, it just isn't ready to get out of the bath yet

Call the Waaambulance

MianMian is crying over all the nonsense the writers have put her through in this episode, and Wei Wuxian tries to cheer her up by talking to her like she's a toddler. On the plus side, he'll be a great dad for a toddler one day.

Jin Zixuan: I'm used to women crying around me, is that not typical?

Lan Wangji has got no time for cheering up crying girls, and starts heading back to the turtle bath, because he has figured out how they can escape. 

He and Wei Wuxian show off their mind reading abilities, where Lan Wangji explains absolutely nothing and Wei Wuxian perfectly understands him. See also: “Fortunately.” 

Rather than try to swim for it, the other cultivators want to hang around and wait to be rescued, or just generally feel like staying put and whining. 

Wei Wuxian takes charge through sheer force of personality, and makes Jiang Cheng go find the way out while he himself distracts Murder Turtle with fire.

Wei Wuxian can make talismans without 1. ink 2. a brush or 3. paper. He just needs his flesh and his unusually sharp incisors. He's so far ahead of everyone around him; how is a dude this talented ever going to be anyone's right hand man? He’s already on track to creating a new talisman-based school of cultivation, even if he never gets around to the whole necromancy thing.  

Swimming in the Pool, Swimming is Cool

The main group of cultivators go swimming while Wei Wuxian lights fires to keep the tortoise's attention. For some reason he just stands there when it's about to eat him...maybe he's mesmerized? Lan Wangji flings him out of harm’s way and gets his already-busted leg chomped on. 

Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Wangji to safety and tells the other cultivators to get going. Jiang Cheng doesn't want to, but Jin Zixuan convinces him.

For fans of homoerotic screen caps, this episode is a gold mine.

Murder turtle suddenly remembers he has legs, but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji instantly find a room he can’t fit into, so they’re okay for the night.

Owie Owie Owie

Now we have an extended hurt/comfort session with our wounded heroes. Lan Wangji is bleeding, so Wei Wuxian...puts a splint made of sticks directly onto his unbandaged lacerations, and ties it with his pristine headband, which will remain pristine. Then he puts medicine on the lacerations.

This seems like a situation where the script said "broken leg" and the makeup department said "MOAR BLOOD" and nobody changed the direction to the actors. In any case, the sticks seem to help and bandages are not mentioned.

What is mentioned, of course, is the dreaded stale blood, which plagues many a c-drama hero, and has to be driven out through strong emotion. This is totally how the human circulatory system works. To be fair, there is probably a perfectly reasonable underlying concept in Chinese medicine that has been exaggerated for dramatic effect, so that every possible ailment or injury results in vomiting blood, sometimes sexily.

Wei Wuxian clears up the blood problem super quickly by offering to show Lan Wangji his dick, not to put too fine a point on it. Alas, he retracts the offer once the crisis has passed.

Once they settle down, Lan Wangji takes the opportunity to put some medicine on Wei Wuxian's burned tit, and to chide him for letting himself get injured. It's like he doesn't even know him. 

Wei Wuxian: I had no choice, because I am psychologically driven to sacrifice myself for other people at every opportunity. Get used to it, cupcake.

Wei Wuxian points out that MianMian is pretty and that it would be bad for her to have a mark on her face. Lan Wangji points out, not quite in so many words, that Wei Wuxian is pretty and now HE has a permanent mark. Before Lan Wangji ever got to see his bare chest, too.

Wei Wuxian says it's cool for men to have marks on their bodies. Preferably hickeys and rope burns, but scars are okay too. 

Lan Wangji: you're going to love my future body mods, then.

Then Wei Wuxian waxes poetic about having a pretty girl remember your heroism, and Lan Wangji gets jealous and cranky. Wei Wuxian misinterprets this, but not unreasonably, considering that Lan Wangji was putting his own body between MianMian and harm not all that long ago.

After some extended eye fucking followed by laughing and saying "no homo" for the censors, the conversation moves to a more serious place. 

Wei Wuxian engages in a little WangXian meta analysis, noting that Lan Wangji can tease him now, and is talking to him slightly more. Falling for a high-spirited, popular extrovert has been hard on Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian is also struggling with falling for a nearly-silent, crushingly-shy introvert. Wei Wuxian really does find Lan Wangji boring on one level, at the same time as finding him utterly compelling on other levels. 

Wei Wuxian starts to say something about the Lans and stops himself with this charming gesture. I've seen it here and there in c-dramas and I assume it's a thing in China. It's a perfect way for a hyperactive talker to say "I'm shutting up now" without using even more words to say it.

Lan Wangji finally, FINALLY tells Wei Wuxian - briefly - what happened to his home. Wei Wuxian, in one of those moments of empathy that they have more and more often as time goes on, asks about his loved ones, and forgoes any other questions.

Lan Wangji tells him that Lan Qiren is seriously injured and Lan Xichen is missing. Wei Wuxian is extremely concerned about one of these people.

When Lan Wangji falls asleep at 9pm on the button, Wei Wuxian tenderly covers him in his own robe, offering physical comfort in place of the emotional comfort Lan Wangji won’t let anybody give him. 

Then Wei Wuxian gazes at him like a lovestruck dope, before settling down beside him for the night. 

Soundtrack: Peter Gabriel, I Go Swimming

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕠𝕡❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ Episodes 7-8

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

⇢ script form (name: lines) are the interviews

EPISODE 7

her first cut for the episode is in the kitchen of the upper house where hobi stops by and pats her head

“need help?” “i’m good, oppa. you can go ask jinnie or yoongi oppa if they need help!”

she’s silently moving around the kitchen while getting everything she needs to make tteokbokki and grilled chicken skewers

then she heard them say they were gonna cook fried chicken instead so she looks right into the camera

“maybe i should make rabokki instead?”

she works around hoseok and jungkook while they make the batter and prepares all her stuff starting with marinating her small pieces of chicken

eventually, she’s starting on her rabokki when jungkook comes in to make sauce

“need help, oppa?” “you know that good chicken sauce?” “i got you”

she started dictating stuff out loud for him to follow while simultaneously working on her own dishes

he stands next to her, heating up his saucepan on the spot next to her rabokki. she jumps when he loudly asks for ketchup

“you’re so loud” she laughed and passed the ketchup bottle

“don’t pretend you don’t get louder than this” “true. try this. is it good?” “i’ll try yours if you try mine”

the two maknaes were just trying each other’s food more than they should have at this point

once she put the cheese on her rabokki and covered it, she moved to putting her chicken pieces and chopped up bell peppers onto skewers

when she finished that, she turned off the stove and moved her skewers outside

she watched in amusement while the others panicked over the fried chicken. she was peacefully grilling her skewers

when they went to score the chicken, she called out to them “make sure to check the first two knes you fried, too”

Miya: The oppas… sometimes get a little excitable. Cooking with them is pretty amusing because they usually know what to do, but something happens and makes everyone a little jumpy. It’s actually quite funny. We did it, though. It worked!

cut to when they’re eating and she smiles

she’s sitting across from yoongi struggling to open her can of beer until yoongi opened it for her

“how can you still look like a baby when opening a can of beer?” “the tab hurts my fingers”

her skewers were finished quite quickly, and so was the rabokki

after they joked about an edm version of the in the soop song, she finished the remnants of her beer can and stood up

“does anyone want a cocktail?”

hoseok cheered for her “ooooh makdungie’s gonna make us an adult drink”

she laughed and took three bottles of soju before skipping over to the kitchen

she pulled a large clear bowl from the cabinet and dumped in a lot of ice quickly followed by the soju. she pulled a few scoops of what looked like strawberry ice cream and mixed it into the bowl of soju

she frowned realizing she couldn’t carry it but jungkook walked in

“i’ll carry that, go get us some glasses, mimi”

she grinned at jungkook then took 8 smaller glasses from the cupboards

“a sweet drink to counter all the salt and strong flavors”

she scooped some for everyone, and they did a cheers to it

“ooooh you made this well, aegi” taehyung’s wide eyes made her giggle

“i saw it online!”

by the end of the night, she was on hoseok’s lap and in an endless fit of giggles especially when they were teasing namjoon to make him dance

the next day you they show a clip of her empty bed with the words “makdungie is gone?” on the screen

then you see her sleeping beside jungkook

Miya: The oppas made it a rule to never let me sleep alone after drinking. I don’t really know why? Maybe it’s because I’m a little clingier, or I think it’s an alcohol poisoning thing or in case I get sick. It’s pretty sweet of them, honestly.

she wakes up mumbling nonsense when hoseok cuddles her and jungkook awake

“makdungie, jk” “[incoherable]”

she sits up straight away though and starts rubbing her eyes “hobi oppa?”

and hoseok uwus because cute tiny baby aksjdhf meanwhile jungkook is still knocked out. he cups her cheeks and squishes them

“time to wake up, yoon-ah. i’ll leave the other maknae to you. head to the upper house, alright?”

when hoseok left, she turned to jungkook’s sleeping form and poked him. he groaned, so she just sprawled herself across his stomach, making him grunt

“hobi oppa says we need to wake up and go to the upper house” “right now?” “mhmm”

next cut of them is yoonmi on jungkook’s back while they arrive at the upper house

“maknaes, could you two clean up and set up the table? and bring ten bowls too?” “okay”

once she finished, she walked over to the camper van and slid in next to yoongi. she closed her eyes again, making yoongi sleepily chuckle

you can see her again when they're eating breakfast. her eyes are half-closed, hair going everywhere while eating, so taehyung had to tie her hair into a bun for her

she disappears for a while after breakfast which leads to taehyung asking yoongi where she went

“knowing her, she’s probably with her guitar at the dock”

then the screen cuts to yoonmi actually sitting on the dock with her guitar and laptop out

she’s strumming random melodies until at some point she’s just playing waste it on me

there’s a mini time lapse of her before she decides to get up and go back into her room to nap

the screen shows her cuddling up to her plushies and hiding her entire body under her blanket

by the time it was 7, yoongi comes over to her room to wake her up

“hey, princess. if you don’t wake up now, you won’t be able to sleep later” “hmm” “wanna come sit with me while i work?” “mkay”

she sleepily let yoongi pull her back to the camper van

Yoongi: I’m not sure how, but I know when to check on her. I just thought maybe she’s still asleep, so I needed to wake her up so she can sleep at night. She sleeps in so much on free days, so j have to make sure she keeps as regular as a sleeping time she can get

the last clip you see of her is her hugging yoongi’s arm while they walk

EPISODE 8

she’s sitting across from yoongi with a sleepy smile on her face

“yoon-ah, put your hands up!”

she giggled and did as she was told while vibing with the elder. the screen’s caption read “yoon siblings are having fun”

hours later, she and yoongi are called for dinner

“the steak and pasta are good!” “thanks, makdungie”

they toasted for their last night there and she’s just mumbling off to jungkook about both the song for in the soop and another song she had been working on then yoongi came to let them hear the guide

jungkook then wraps himself around her because she feels cold and yoonmi just sits there unbothered. once she finished her food, both maknaes cuddled up to jin

she sits on the grass between jungkook and taehyung while holding her own firecrackers

“wah, this is really cool” “makdungie, look here”

hoseok was holding out his phone and taking pictures of her. she immediately smiled for him

jimin kept a hold on her when they tried the other types of firecrackers so she wouldn’t get too close

she was cheering when they lit the firecrackers “wah! pretty!”

they’re all gathered in the living room where she found herself in between namjoon and yoongi. you can see her zone out a little during their game

“i’m so confused” she laughed and went along with whatever was happening

the next day she woke up due to her phone ringing

“mm hello?” “...” “a little, yeah” “...” “it’s already 2pm?” “...” “alright” then she hung up

the captions just read “her brother woke her up by accident”

she spent a while staring at her wall while sitting up in bed until her door opens to reveal hoseok

“yoon-ah, time to—oh, you’re up” “good morning” “how long have you been awake?”

hoseok sat next to her which effectively made her lean her head on his shoulder “just now. yoonsungie oppa just called me about seollie”

“head up in a bit, okay?” “i’ll fix my stuff first”

she was quiet for most of lunch then went straight to the trampoline and does a few tricks and flips

“oh, they’re playing with water guns. that looks nice. oh, i should probably take a shower”

taehyung caught sight of her when she was walking off to the boathouse to get her stuff for her shower

“aegi, come give me a hug.”

he ran right for her making her squeal and laugh while running away from him. he eventually caught her in a hug and got her wet. she laughed and hugged him back before going to get ready to leave

Miya: It was nice. I feel like this is the least amount of work any of us had in the past seven years. It was a reminder to sit back and take a break every now and then. To you who is watching this, take a break. Whether it’s by yourself or with friends, take a break. It’ll be good for your body and your mind.

“is it just me, or did the staff suddenly bring in another car?” “i don’t know, mimi. maybe they want us by twos?”

she got into a car with jungkook and hooked her phone up to the aux. they looked at each other for a bit before she played the original version of euphoria, which was their duet they rolled down the windows and sang along

Recording In The Soop:

she sat next to yoongi while they waited for everyone to discuss what they wanted the lyrics to be

they were silently discussing something between themselves

eventually they had her go into the booth to record first

she was in a fit of giggles when they were instructing her “okay okay, i got it, let’s go”

she got it in one go and skipped back to everyone else. she settled herself next to yoongi again and watched the rest of the process

she cringed a little at namjoon’s narration but cheered “RM!”

she laughed when yoongi ran into the booth “oppa, i could have pressed the start for you”

she couldn’t help it and gave all controls to hoseok. she just kept laughing

when it came to the chorus bit, she and yoongi stayed outside to direct

“oppa, are we gonna make them record adlibs after the soop part?” “probably. you wanna try?” “hmm not really”

namjoon did his adlib and she just bursts out laughing because she didn’t expect it

jungkook kept making adlibs so she laughs and pokes him with her foot “oppa, you better record one”

then it was jungkook’s turn. she snorted “this is gonna be something”

then he actually did it and she just falls out of her chair laughing which just made everyone laugh harder while jimin helped her up

but he fell, too, and cue harder laughter

“oh my god, i can’t”

once they finish jungkook’s adlibs she just “can we get jimin oppa and jinnie oppa to record the main line for the soop part?”

the rest of recording was going well with a whole lot more laughter until yoongi checked everything

“jungkook, yoonmi, get in for harmonies”

she follows jungkook inside while everyone leaves

“what do you two want to do?” “i was thinking we’ll do layers to the soop part” “oh, oppa same. you do the main, i’ll do the higher?”

they recorder the layers smoothly and yoongi clapped for them “good work, kids”

[toomanyfandoms02]

Living with Matthew Gray Gubler during quarantine would include...

@drspencr did a Spencer Reid version of this! (You should read it, its adorable) So I decided to do an MGG version (with permission ofc).

- 2 weeks into quarantine and he was already planning Halloween costumes.

- Yes, it was still March

- You knew that the man whistled but man was that his favorite pastime lately. Lost count of how many songs you've had stuck in your head courtesy of your lovely boyfriend

- There was quite a scare about a month in

- Matthew had a BAD cold and you had thought for sure that you were part of an unlucky bunch who had caught it

- But after two days and 4 bowls of Chicken Noodle Soup, his cough had ceased and he was back to being his normal dumbass self

- He has you posing in numerous weird ways for his abstract and odd ways of drawing

- These soon filled up one of your walls in the bedroom

- If anyone were to see that wall, they would probably think you guys were insane or something but in reality, you were just so bored

- You had both done quite the kimono modelling/photoshoot

- Seeing you in a kimono got him a little excited if ya know what I mean

- But that's a story for another time

- Though it was a constant reminder when he would place the scandalous polaroids around the house where he knew you would find them

- He begs you to let him buy a Kimono Dragon

- Which you correct him, because it's komodo

- And you obviously say no, because where would you keep that thing??

- "The closet babe!!"

- "For the LAST time. Komodo Dragon baby. Not Kimono. He cannot sleep and eat and live safely in a closet. Do you want your kimonos ripped to shreds?"

- He pouts for a bit

- You had listened to the Alvin and the Chipmunks version of 'Funky Town' so many times that you sung it in a very high pitched voice naturally now

- Popping in on zoom calls with the Criminal Minds cast

- Helping Matthew come up with new ideas for his stuffed animals

- "What about a Walrus!"

- "Yes perfect! I can make his little tusks. It'll be so cute! Thank you!"

- Smooches

- On a more HORNY note

- Remember all those times where Matthew was filming and there was NEVER time to get laid

- Well, now is the time

- And trust me, you took advantage of it

- There were finally days were you could just stay in bed and be with eachother

- Matthew loved cuddling, he was so grateful that he didn't have to stay six feet away from you

- Because he could barely stay six inches away from you

- "So much for social distance." You mumbled between kisses

- "There is no fucking way I could handle that."

- Making him a Rumple Buttercup mask

- He nearly cried when you gave it to him

- Begging him for a whole week to binge Criminal Minds with you

- "Please, please, please? I just wanna watch my baby in action!"

- Truth be told you hadn't been able to watch the show fully. Just a few episodes here and there

- "Why watch that when I'm right here?"

- He ended up giving in and watching it with you. Pointing out the ones he directed, making you love them 6x more

- There was oh so much baking

- The amount of brownies you had stored in your freezer for later was sinful

- It was a good thing that you guys didn't live in an apartment building or have extremely close neighbors because music was blasting so often

- There was so much dancing

- You had warned him to not dislocate his knee again while dancing

- Which was the real reason he had to be on crutches in season 5

- At one point he had you put on his, as the fans called them, director scarves

- That was another great fashion show for the polaroid camera

- Having socially distant picnics with his family

- Watching the classical horror movies that he loves

- So you buy him some of The Shining merch on amazon

- Not only watching horror movies, but watching Disney movies

- Matthew is not secretive for his love of Disney movies

- And Star Wars

- Him doing magic for you and only showing you how to do about 2 of the tricks because ya know

- A magician never reveals his secrets

- You rolled your eyes numerous times at this

- Taking long baths together

- Let's just say the bathroom was steamy for more than just one reason

- Taking over his twitter for a day and saying weird shit

- But later posting a picture of you

- "Can we please pick a stray dog off of the street? I need another living thing here."

- "Only if we can call it Edgar."

- "As in 'Allen Poe'?"

- "Duh."

- Wearing so many of his clothes

- Like

- So many

- And maybe putting him in one of your shirts just to see him in a crop top

- It was a little hotter than you expected

- Making him read Rumple Buttercup to you more than once

- You just love it so much

- "And that's when Rumple realized, everyone was weird!"

- You may or may not have put makeup on the poor man

- He was so reluctant but when he saw himself in the mirror

- "Damn I am SMOKIN!"

- Making youtube videos because he "needs content" and "is bored"

- When you had moved in, you brought your PS4, this had Sims 4 on it

- You made your family on it

- He insisted on getting a dog

- "We are living out the real dream! Look at all the tiny Gubes y/n! Look at 'em!"

- Life is a never-ending hug with this man

- And that's how you liked it

- You wouldn't wanna be stuck in the house with anyone else.

Doesn't nearly do a justice compared to the QUEENS but I enjoyed making it. Hope you guys liked it too. Requests are open!! (You can also request for a full fic of one of these plot points 👀)I JUST REACHED 100 FOLLOWERS WHAT DO I DO

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

💭- ɟ

Heellooo babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 I’m so sorry for the delay, but I’ve been pretty busy. I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m alive, and as I said I would, even if late I will always answer you. And trust me, I feel so bad for the delay, but I’ve prepared a bonus at the end of the post that I hope will make it up to you 🙏🏼

Now. Without making you wait any longer, let’s move on to the questions Mari sent to me.

I can sure try, dear Anon 🙃 1) Yes, I firmly believe in the theory that Lauren went to Camila right after the concert. 2) Camila ended up in the hospital for the same reasons she’s been there other times too: stress, lack of sleep, dehydration, weariness, and, you know, general weakness because they were overworked. 3) No, she was already gone at that time. That episode was released on November 1, 2014, but was filmed on August 21st in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during the ‘Austin Mahone: Live on Tour’. Camren were already official in April 🥳

 I really don’t think she was watching porn, dear Anon. I have two theories on this, but neither of them includes porn. Theory number 1, Camila and Lauren arranged to pull a prank on the girls, not giving a damn about the cameraman. They faked those moans to prank DNA. Theory number 2, it was all true (at that age especially, are more the times when hormones control you and not the other way around 🤣) and they didn’t give a damn about the cameraman and anyone else also for an act of rebellion.

The takeover begins with Ally. While Ally talks to ‘us’, Lauren is shown for literally two seconds while she’s on a video call with someone. At 0:04, you can hear her say something like “Hey, it’s okay, baby”, followed by “I wanna do it” at 0:08. Lauren is no longer seen for the rest of the takeover.

The first “Ahh” said by (in my opinion) Camila, happens at 0:50. The way DNA crack up, and Ally’s cheeks that get so red with embarrassment, I find hilariously funny in itself. As well as the teasing made by DNA towards Camila. But Normani… NORMANI KORDEI HAMILTON, guuurl! And do we want to talk about Ally? The “You too with your water” said in THAT way after Camila’s “Have fun with the movie”? Whatcha mean, girl, whatcha mean? 😝🤣

At 2:05, while Camila is eating, Lauren says something like “Gimmie” to her before Mila reaches out her arm to really give her whatever she’s eating. At 3:00, people hear “Keep going”, while I hear “Don’t stop” with a moan, immediately followed then by the other “Ahh”. Lauren, in my opinion. “Ahh” that Mani then repeats at 3:08 to make fun of them. And no, don’t tell me things like ‘but she hit her head’ because if you see the scene in slow motion, at 0.5 speed, you’ll notice that she doesn’t hit it at all and that she said it to imitate them and make Ally laugh. And then, there’s the difference in the “oww” she says at 3:14 when she hurts herself for real, and you can see how different the two verses are.

Whether it was true, or whether it was a prank, for me this is still a big proof. And this big proof, Camila and Lauren didn’t give it to me per se. Ally, Mani, and Dinah did. Why? Well, because all of this does nothing but show how used to hear that kind of thing they were. So used to it, that not only were they comfortable enough (except for having a camera pointed at their face during this time) but that they even teased them.

I don’t know if they didn’t really notice or if they did it on purpose to get more views and likes. I just know that AwesomenessTV no longer has it in their videos, but the Fifth Harmony page does. Same page that was/is managed by whom? By the same people who still want Camren dead but who exploit them when it suits them best. As in this case because views and likes produce money that ends up in their pockets.

Yes, dear anon, I truly believe that.

The funny thing for me is that Lauren called Paul Martinez her first love when she was much younger. But that only after their breakup. At the time, she even believed that they would’ve gotten married. She explained that they’d been best friends before they got together and that he then broke up with her and that she didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, and that she was able to move on only when she wrote her first song about how she felt about it on September 17, 2011.

The reality of the situation, however, is different. Lauren really fell in love for the first time with Camila. She realized the real difference later. Lauren and Paul were together for not even two months. They were together for literally only 50 days. That one, I mostly define it as a strong infatuation. First experience of a relationship, even if brief, with someone. First time she has experienced the real pain of a breakup and having a broken heart. And at that age, everything seems more and more intensified and even worse than it is. For Lauren who’s an empath, even more so.

So, yeah. I truly believe that both were the first true and intense love of the other. And no, dear. No one has topped that yet. Neither for one, nor for the other 😉

 If you don’t mind, dear Anon, I would prefer to answer your questions in reverse and start from the second question first because it connects to the first one. That way, it’s simply easier for me to explain to you what I mean 😄

I don’t think so?! I mean, I’ve never experienced love at first sight. I’m a rational person and who follows logic a lot, therefore, if I were to think to want to shout a serious ‘I LOVE YOU!’ on the face of a person I’ve just met and of whom I know absolutely nothing, I’d feel crazy. How could I think I’m already in love with them? It’s something I would think to be absurd because honestly, what the fuck? I’d think of being definitely delirious.

I know what it’s like to look into a person’s eyes and think ‘wow’. I know what it’s like to look into those same eyes and lose myself in them, and feel myself melt, and getting soft, and feel light, and literally feel a passage of energy through my body that turns into goosebumps.

I know that kind of instinct. An instinct that pushes you towards this person, that pushes you not to let them go. You can’t let them go and you don’t want to. You want to know this person. Right from the start. You want to know their interests, what they like, what music they listen to, and everything in between. It’s something you can’t control. You can try, but it’s impossible and it gets you out of your mind. It’s difficult, weird, and exciting at the same time. And it’s different from the normal attraction. The normal attraction is only physical. This is mental. It comes from your mind but is also guided by something else. Something that after, only after, you understand to be your heart. And what does THAT mean? That you’re starting to fall. And after having really got to know the person better, also feeling esteem for them, after that complicity was created, that passion, that intimate and mental connection, that’s where true love is born.

When you see someone for the first time, and you like that someone, you obviously feel attraction. Love, true love, happens over time. And that’s what I think happened to Camila. I think she felt an immediate attraction as soon as she saw her (2012), which turned into a huge crush (2013), and it started with the fall which in turn blossomed into love (2014). Maybe she didn’t understand this metamorphosis right away. Maybe she has understood this over time and maturing. And the moment that she understood it (ex: Terrified, Must Be Love), was also the moment in which she was able to explain it to us and deliver it to us in different songs. Another striking example that comes to mind now is “Seventeen when I started to fall” 🎵.

It was different for Lauren, but the process was similar. She herself said she found her cute initially. I think that the attraction was born when she started to know her better (2012), and that this was already an alarm bell for her because she didn’t want to. And not because she didn’t want to be attracted to Camila, but because she didn’t want to be attracted to a girl again. One with whom she should’ve spent a lot of time together, by the way. So she tried to keep this attraction at bay. But the more she tried, the more it grew. The more she denied herself the desire, the more she got to knew Camila, and the more attracted she was to her. Then she succumbed to the attraction and simultaneously started to develop a crush, and this threw her for a panic loop even more because she COULD NOT have feelings for a girl. She simply couldn’t. And that’s how the 2013’s back and forth started, the ‘Like Friends Do’ situation that led her to start falling hard and the eventual definite falling in love in 2014.

 Good question, dear Anon, a really good question. You see, EL has always puzzled me. In the sense that for quite some time, I didn’t know whether to believe if they were really a friend of theirs, or if it was just a person in the industry who had only worked with them for a certain period of time, or if they were just a fan with a huge luck in guessing certain things.

I think this because many times they’ve contradicted themselves and said very general things that anyone with a good knowledge of the girls and how the industry works could have predicted. I’ll give you some examples. I remember that at first, they said they had a relative in the industry, then they changed and said something like Lauren was one of the most important people in their life. Then they changed again and said they knew a lot about the Camren’s relationship because they were close to them, but that they wouldn’t delve into their private lives out of respect, yet, at the same time, they said about their first kiss and their first time. Um.. like, what?? How does this make any sense? Stick to one version, can’t ya? That alone, already made me doubt their credibility very much.

Another example I can give you is that they said the purpose for the Bad Things music video was to show how straight Camila was and to kill the rumors about her sexuality. But then, they said the video would have hints of her true sexuality and Camren’s too. Um… Again. What?? Not only did they contradict themselves, but they also said something rather generic and predictable. Think about it. If the video was to kill those rumors and straighten her image in the first place, why then would they have agreed to put hints on her sexuality and on something related to Camren? What would have been the point of trying to straighten her image then?? Not to mention that it’s pretty easy to say that we’d find things related to Camren when there are CS who would be able to find something even when there isn’t. Because we know that there were and still are those who find things that are actually completely absurd and non-existent just for the sake of having proofs. So, do you see my point here?

As for who they were, you can rule out most of the industry people who worked with them, and DNA and all people related to them (DNA) for one simple reason: ExposingLaucy was fluent in both English and Spanish. You can rule out Camren because they would never, ever risk being hacked and discovered. And that leaves us to the friends of the Camren’s clique and the fans. Wanna know what makes me think this person was actually a fan? The fact that EL also knew a lot about 1D and that Camila and Lauren’s true friends never got involved in Camren’s world publicly. You’ve never seen Marielle and Sandra or Brittany, Keana, Alexa, and Erica say anything about Camren publicly. They certainly wouldn’t have created an account to expose Laucy when exposing Laucy would’ve meant not helping their friends. And then, come on, they had their own lives to think about.

Now I want you to think about something else too, and I’m gonna take precisely me as an example. In my very first post, ‘There is a light at the end of the tunnel’, I created a little skit during which Shaky misgendered Sam Smith. As we all know, it actually happened in real life just over a month after my post. In my ‘PR stunt relationships’ post, I said I was convinced that Shabby had grown his hair out to look like his obsession for years: Matthew McConaughey. Five days after my post, Chauffeur admitted exactly that and of copying his style in general in the Late Late Show interview.

What does this mean? That I knew all this was going to happen? Hell, no. That I’m a white version of Raven Baxter? Maybe 😎🤣 No, but kidding aside, I just said what I thought of him both times. I only expressed my opinions, and the first time I did it through that skit because my gut had always told me that he’d be the kind of guy to be an insensitive asshole like that. And by the way, I was shocked, surprised, and even a little proud both times because I was actually right. But what’s the point? My point is that I could’ve taken advantage of this from the start. I could’ve pretended to be an insider from my first post and prove to you that I was one for real with these two things that I would’ve told you were ‘proofs’. It would’ve been pretty easy. But I didn’t. I would never have been stupid enough to start something so risky with the risk of being discovered as has happened with many other fans. And I never would have done it especially because that’s not who I am. I don’t need to pretend to be something that I’m not, thank you very much 😁 I’m more genuine than that.

Unfortunately, though, there are a lot of people who don’t think like me who have and continue to create accounts pretending to be insiders. All of those accounts are nothing more than fans who crave attention. Fans who pretend to be insiders who have information, without ever proving them though, and who say generic things and who sometimes are lucky enough to guess. That’s all. But EL, had something these other fans didn’t have. My best guess? EL was just a Harmonizer lucky enough to have someone from the industry in their (5H) circle, maybe really a relative as they initially said, who sometimes passed information to them.

 Because Camila was constantly out there working, dear Anon. You know, interviews, performances, tours, you name it 🙃

 I’ve already answered this question, dear Anon. Go check out my ‘🗯️ - ɟ’ post 😄

Yes, dear Anon, they’ve both hurt each other many times, and you can imagine how a parent might feel about seeing their child suffer. I’m not a mom, so I can’t speak from experience in that department, but I can give you another type of example to make you understand and maybe even make you better relate to what I want to tell you.

Imagine having two friends, okay? These two friends, are both your best friends. You care about them in the same equal way. These two friends of yours are together, and every time they fight, they come to you to vent. You unintentionally find yourself in the center of this situation, but not because you get in the way or because you take the side of one of them, but simply because you’re literally the person they go to for venting and to ask for advice. Every time you hear that one of the two has fucked up, you automatically ‘hate them’, in many quotes, for making the other one suffer. Maybe you also try to justify their actions because you know them and love them and you want the two of them to make up, but it’s still automatic for you to feel momentary anger towards them for making your other friend suffer.

Now that you know what I mean, double, triple, even quadruple, that momentary anger because that’s what I think a parent feels. It must not be easy to see your child suffer in general, but to see them suffer for someone you know, who is the cause, must be even harder. Especially in their case that they saw Lauren grow up with their daughter.

Camila’s number one best friend is Sinu. Camila has always told her everything. And Sinu has also always been very present, especially since the beginning of September 2016 when she’s become a permanent presence. Sinu must have seen the developments over the years with her own eyes. And I also think that Sinu and Ale have that kind of relationship where they talk about everything. I don’t know, but I think the Cabellos would have preferred to see her single rather than in that kind of pain in those times of severe toxicity between them. Because those are the periods that Camila refers to in both songs if you notice (I don’t consider First Man in this case).

Don’t get me wrong. I still to this day think Camila and Lauren are considered as daughters by both families. The problem at the time, wasn’t Lauren specifically because I think they would’ve thought it no matter who their daughter was with. And same thing in reverse for Camila for the Jaureguis. Besides, I don’t think the Cabellos consider Lauren a bad person at all, in fact, quite the opposite. The Cabellos love Lauren and the Jaureguis love Camila. It’s always been like this, despite they’ve tried to make us believe otherwise. I think that in those two songs Camila has only blown it out of proportion for the sake of the songs themselves and that’s why it looks more serious than it really is.

 I think the answer is in the question itself, dear Anon 😆 Their problems have always been caused by the lack of communication. So they fixed that. They’ve learned to speak for real. To communicate for real and without keeping anything inside. They’ve learned to listen and not bite each other’s heads off. They’ve learned to put pride aside. And they both have set boundaries. They healed each other the same way they broke each other: together. I don’t think they’re 100% there yet, also because no relationship is perfect, but I think they’ve improved a lot compared to before. Or at least, I hope so since mine are just assumptions.

 No, dear Anon. I never believed that rumor, and unless a picture of them kissing or something like that gets leaked, I don’t think I ever will. I’m sorry, but that sounds way too ridiculous for me to even think about it 🤷🏻‍♀‍

As for your last question, I believe Ari has already answered it herself in 2019. You remember Monopoly, right? Well, that “I like women and men” made me jump from my chair so high, I don’t know how I didn’t break something when I landed on my feet. I don’t even know how I landed on my feet and not tripped or directly fell to the floor honestly 🤣 “I’ve been on a roll, where you been?” dead, Ari. I died after what you said, okay? I knew about Victoria because she’d already come out, but you hadn’t done it yet so don’t ask me where I’ve been because I’ll tell you where I’m now, and I. Am. Deeeaad! Dead.

Ahh… How I wish our Mila would come out in that same so chill way, you know? Without making too much of a big deal out of it 🤩 But anyway. Ari didn’t want to put a label on herself because she never felt the need to, and I respect that 🙏🏼

BONUS

I call it ‘The truth in the lies’.

I was re-reading some old Camila’s interviews when I came across a particular one that made me literally burst out laughing, shake my head, and say what with them has now become my phrase: “The math… The math”. I’m referring to the interview with BBS News titled: Camila Cabello: ‘An absolute force of nature’, published on December 5, 2019.

I copied and pasted the part that interests us: As soon as the Grammys wrapped up, however, Cabello stepped away from the limelight to concentrate on her second album. “She said, 'I’m not going to come out of the studio until I’ve beaten my last album,’” recalls her manager, Roger Gold. In total, it took eight months, covering a period where “other artists were putting out back-to-back albums, only a few months apart,” he says. “So it was hard for us, and for her, to ignore the noise and go into the studio and take the time she needed.”

I’d like to underline the ‘As soon as the Grammys wrapped up’ part (big ass liar 🙄), and the more important one ‘In total, it took eight months’ (to complete the album). I repeat, 8 MONTHS. And that’s the truth. Okay, are you ready to do the math and for the explanation? Good 😏

The Grammys they were referring to were the Grammy Awards which took place on January 12, 2019. Romance was released on December 6, 2019. From January 12, 2019, to December 6, 2019, it’s 10 months. We already know regardless that this would’ve turned out to be bullshit because Camila started recording the album in September 2018, and not January 2019. But just to prove to you even more how much bullshit they said for this album, I wanted to include it anyway.

Would you like to see another proof with the same date? Okay. Now let’s try from January 12, 2019, to July 12, 2019, which is the PR day in San Francisco. It’s 6 months. You can also move the dates by a few days because it’s logical that Camila wouldn’t have recorded the same night as the Grammys and, according to their stupid narrative, Used to This was recorded right after San Francisco and was the last song recorded for the album. Wanna try, I don’t know, from January 15, 2019, to July 16, 2019? It’s still SIX MONTHS and NOT EIGHT 🤣 Let’s go on.

Let’s try to calculate with the actual recording start date now and not their narrative dates.

We know First Man was the first song recorded for Romance, and we know it was recorded in Nashville. Camila was on tour for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour at the time. Two dates that interest us on that tour are the one of September 8th in Kansas City, and the one of September 15th in Indianapolis. Why? Because for those five days in between, from the 9th to the 14th, Camila stayed in Nashville. For the first few days, she worked first with Amy Wadge on First Man, and then in the following ones, with Ed Sheeran on South of the Border, which they finished on September 14th. All you have to do to have a confirmation of this is to check out the video C posted on July 12, 2019, where she’s rehearsing her verse with Ed, and the picture she posted on September 14, 2018, and you’ll notice that she’s wearing the same shirt.

Since First Man was finished either one day or two prior, let’s take the South of the Border date as a reference for good measure. Also because as I showed you before, moving the date by just a few days to do the calculation still leads to the same result.

So let’s try, from September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 1 year and almost 3 months. Soooo, nope. Next.

From September 14, 2018, to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 10 months. 🤣🤣🤣 NEXT.

Come on, Faby, when are you gonna tell us the real date that corresponds to the 8 months? Now, babies, now. And I actually can offer you two.

We know that Camila finished Romance in May, and we had even more confirmation when she posted an Insta-story on June 3rd of a Dropbox folder called CC2 with the album already mastered and more than ready. Wanna try with both a May date and this June date? Okay.

From September 14, 2018, to May 21, 2019, that is, the rehearsals for the Señorita’s music video, it’s 8 months and 7 days exactly.

From September 14, 2018, to June 3, 2019, that is, the IG-story of the Dropbox folder, it’s 8 months and 20 days exactly.

We have our winners, guys 🥳🥳🥳

Let’s recap just because:

From January 12, 2019 (Grammy Awards 2019) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 10 months.

From January 12, 2019 (Grammy Awards 2019) to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 6 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to December 6, 2019 (Romance album release) it’s 1 year and almost 3 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to July 12, 2019 (PR in San Francisco) it’s 10 months.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to May 21, 2019 (Rehearsals for the Señorita’s music video) it’s 8 months and 7 days exactly.

From September 14, 2018 (South of the Border) to June 3, 2019 (Dropbox folder) it’s 8 months and 20 days exactly.

Now do you understand why ‘The truth in the lies’? 😏

Aaaaand I’m done 👩🏻‍💻 I hope I made it up to you with this bonus 🤞🏼 Thank you, Mari, and thanks to all of you for your questions, I swear I’m loving them more and more, so please, continue to feel free to send me as many as you want 🤗💪🏼

Remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Remember to be a good example. Remember to be patient. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I send you lots of love and virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗 Oh and, of course, keep shipping our submarine 🤣 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

Ten answers for ten anons, that’s a lot of writing to do. Great work, F

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

So due to popular demand I watched episode 2 of Walker for you guys. Part 2 of 2

The pilot was more interesting and it wasn’t interesting. But let’s continue, maybe it’s gonna get better.

So my cookies are ready now! I ate the smallest one to check if they’re good. They are. At least I have my cookies.

Apparently now they have to take a horseriding test. Walker puts the saddle on a horse. But he gets emotional. The flashback music starts. If I see more of these I will develop rabies symptoms. I’m sorry this is what we’re talking about. This is Geneviève Padalecki’s role in this show.

Walker gets on the horse. He touches the bad and the flashback sound effect plays. Rabies. “Walker are you okay?” Ramirez asks. He nods. I’m Fine Lie #9000.

No, wait. He gets off the horse. Dude it’s called handling a loss badly and they have therapists for that. Please go to therapy. There are literal professionals trained to help you with that.

He takes off his hat, which lets you know this is serious.

He goes at the bar run by the lady who was with Emily when she died. He is no longer a ranger until he passes the test. We are happy about it because he is not in the psychological conditions to be a law enforcement officer. Oh, wait, we’re supposed not to be happy about it. Honestly, I’m not sure. Is he supposed to be relatable, or are we supposed to think that he’s screwed up and should not be a cop or a parent right now? Because he’s ostensibly the latter but maybe the intentions of the writers are the former.

He says that James thinks he’s “not quite right in the head”. Mmm… are we supposed to think James is being exaggerated? Because it’s true. He’s not in the conditions to do this job… he needs to get professional mental health support, period.

They reminisce about Emily and Walker repeats the same things that made him think there’s more to the case than it appears, like the way her eyes were closed. The bartender confesses she closed her eyes. Well. That was anticlimactic.

In the meanwhile, Liam the gay brother meets his partner for lunch. He’s attractive. Liam would also be if he weren’t dressed and hair-styled like that. I dunno. The partner wants them to move to New York. They joke about dying of queso.

Augustus goes to take pictures with his mother’s camera and has a glowy flashback of his own. “He’s sensitive. He keeps a lot inside, like his father” his grandma comments to her husband. They talk about Walker fixing the house. “He wants to pick up where he left off” she says. I am hurting inside. Did they write this with the Supernatural pilot script open on the desk!?

Ramirez keeps working the case. Turns out, the horse that died wasn’t the horse it was supposed to be (a famous racing horse). Someone swapped the horses? I don’t care, actually. I’m gonna skip the case details.

Walker eats tortilla chips with queso. And begs Ramirez to let him work on the case because that’s all he knows how to do. That’s stolen from a couple Supernatural episodes when they talk about hunting, but okay.

“You know how you can see a horse’s soul in its eyes?” …no, but okay.

They’ll need to find the mysteriously disappeared horse… which is loose! In the hospital! No, not in the hospital. Just on a road. Best shot in the show, big dark horse walking around Austin.

They need to go find the horse. Obviously Walker volunteers to get the horse. “Might not be a ranger, but I’m still a cowboy”. I’m crying this is so cliché.

You know Walker is cool because he gets out of the truck without using the little step.

It’s so deep.

Oh my god. He. He follows horse dung. It’s. It’s literally a plot point. He tracks the horse following horse poop.

He finds the horse, feeds him a lil sugar cube, puts the reins on him. It’s a beautiful horse. Can’t the show be about this horse?

Billionaire bad guy (owner of the horse, set the fire to pretend the horse was dead because lots of bets were placed on the horse, but the horse was lightly injured so couldn’t win) driving towards his plane to catch his plane to escape. James and Ramirez do a car chase.

Bad guy lackey shoots at their wheels so their car stops. But Walker arrives on the horse, gets Ramirez on the horse and they ride the horse to the bad guys’ car. Ramirez gets on the car and punches the bad guys unconscious.

For some reason (I mean, budget limitations) the fighting sequences are very quick. I would have watched more of Ramirez kicking billionaire bad guy’s ass on a moving car. But it’s fine, I mean, if this show had a bigger budget they’d spend it on more cowboy hats, so it’s fine.

Walker, James and Ramirez celebrate at the bar. Apparently the bad guy’s lackey that was supposed to get rid of the horse loved the horse too much and set him free in Austin. Mood.

There’s still a third of the episode still to go, though. Drama will ensue. Indeed Liam arrives and is super pissed off at Walker for missing lunch, which he forgot because he was busy with his lil tests.

Liam says Stella didn’t show up to the game. Walker says he know where she is and gets Ramirez to come with him.

Indeed she’s thrown a party at their house. Walker asks her what she’s doing. “Being a disappointment I guess” she answers. He asks her why she missed the game. She says that it shouldn’t be so easy to get a second chance after messing up - like him. He’s like, a second chance? It’s not like a stopped being your father. Except… you did? You disappeared from their lives entirely. He calls her out for damaging the house and she’s like, it’s not even our home anymore but I’m supposed to treat it like a museum? Honestly her scenes are the only interesting thing in this show. He says he’s back now, but she says that being back isn’t enough, what makes a parent is *doing parent things*, supporting the kids.

“I wish uncle Liam had gotten custody of us when he tried” she eventually drops the big bomb. Ouch.

He’s super pissed off, takes off the hat dramatically, and drives back to Liam. He gets off the drunk and immediately assaults Liam. “You tried to take my damn kids!”

I’m flabbergasted. They. They just wrote a plotline where a gay man tried to ~steal a straight man’s children~ like it was a good idea. I mean! Liam getting custody of the kids would have been a VERY GOOD IDEA but what, we’re supposed to think he was wrong? I am so confused because I can’t tell if we’re supposed to be on Walker’s side or not. He is NOT in the condition of being a parent. The kids SHOULD be under the custody of their grandparents and/or uncle. Not because he’s traumatized by loss, but because he’s not trying at all. He keeps saying he’s trying but he’s not. He gets aggressive too easily and it could be dangerous.

Anyway the brothers have this physical fight which isn’t by far the most embarrassing thing in this show so I’ll let it slide. “You had no right!” Walker says, to which Liam replies that he gets it was rough but “you went dark! That was negligence!” Which is absolutely right and he should have gotten the custody of the kids. Liam mentions that their parents also agreed on the thing, and Walker yells “these are MY kids!” which is appalling, because being the biological father of some kids doesn’t make it okay to disappear on them for months and being mad if someone else stepped up to be their parent in your absence. “I didn’t want them to be orphans, did you!?” Liam yells back.

“I would never _take_ them, I wanted to protect them,” Liam says, and says more very reasonable things. “Even now you’re not here.” Walker yells that he is here (again, being physically in Austin doesn’t make you a parent, like Stella said), Liam replies that he’s chasing ghosts.

He brings up the things that don’t add up again, like the poker chip. I’m afraid that the narrative will prove him right, that there WAS something there and he was right to follow through the case despite everyone else telling him he was being delusional and that he should let it go and focus on the family. It would be actually good if it turned out that there was nothing there, that it was all coincidence (like the friend closing her eyes) and that he just chased ghosts for real, but I’m afraid this isn’t that kind of show. I think they’re playing it straight, that they’ll make Walker be right, and it will suck.

A note: now that he’s fighting and yelling and being angry, Jared is actually acting properly, which I don’t know if it’s a good thing or creepy.

Actually Liam says something very reasonable now, that answers will not actually satisfy him, her being gone will never make sense emotionally. The poker chip isn’t going to bring her back. He will lose everything if he keeps searching for something that isn’t there.

Now that Walker has calmed down, Jared returns to doing Jared mouth things. Oh no! Augustus watched them fight.

Oooh. Augustus gives him the present Emily was going to give him for father’s day. Poker chips. “She kept a few of the chips so she could show people” (what? But okay). Another of the mysteries was actually not a weird conspiracy at all. I suspect the narrative will make us believe there was nothing there to just pull a twist afterwards. It would be interesting if Walker were indeed looking for nothing, but I doubt that’s what they’re doing. They’re playing the tropes too straight.

Meanwhile Ramirez comes home to her boyfriend preparing a homemade dinner. She says she’s happy he’s there, and that scares the crap out of her. She wants to get both the job and the relationship right. They’re really cute and I hope their relationship doesn’t get drama-fied for drama. A healthy relationship where two partners figure out how to navigate it together, with normal minor bumps along the way they face together, would really be a good thing for the show to portray.

The next morning, Walker is making breakfast when Stella enters the kitchen. She doesn’t speak to him but gets on her phone so he starts texting her. They have a moment. He was looking for him mug and she gets it out for him. She says it reminded her of him being gone so she’d put it away. They do a bonding activity (bringing a memento from their old house to their new one), she cries, he hugs her.

Back at the ranch, Walker’s father has made him a new saddle. Gramps Walker is rough around the edges but has a hidden wisdom.

The emotional moment is kinda broken for me by the big Texas flag they have inside the house. I suppose it’s just how Texas is but it’s still funny for that very reason.

Augustus for his school project has put together a video from old family footage. Lots of flashback, but this time with a regular song and not the rabies sound effect and with the soft lighting but not the most extreme glowy effect, so it’s kinda okay.

Jared makes emotional faces and the episode’s over.

Well, at least the dead guy having been to prison wasn’t really relevant and the bad guy was a billionaire. An improvement from the previous episode.

I’m not going to give views to the youtube trailers, but I’ve been told in the next episode a new character will be introduced that is a childhood friend that is ~the Han Solo to Walker’s Luke Skywalker. *single tear of sorrow* They’re trying SO HARD to be Supernatural and they’re managing to pick the least interesting concepts of Supernatural to do so. Can’t wait to see Fake Dean. Also we haven’t seen Walker lasso a person either. I suppose I’ll have to watch more of this.

Honestly, it’s mostly boring with Stella being the only interesting part and Ramirez and her boyfriend being cute to watch. Walker is so unlikeable. You want him to get his shit together for the sake of the people around him, but not really for his sake. He should go to therapy but he is a manly cowboy man so obviously he won’t go (but I will be impressed if they actually have him see a therapist. It would be interesting to have a manly cowboy man see a therapist. But will they do it?) The idyllic flashbacks of Emily are so overdone and it’s only the second episode! Everything is cheesy.

This traditional Texan ranch aesthetic meets Austin city would be interesting if played in a way that genuinely questions the values of old, but the show doesn’t really, it uses the gay brother and the immigrant friend and the Latina cop and the Black boyfriend as props but the narrative itself doesn’t really do anything with the traditional Texan family thing. Unless they really pull the rug from under the audience’s feet and make some big twists regarding the way the narrative is presenting itself, there’s nothing really interesting or useful in the show. I’m afraid they will solve their problems by Wanting To Do Better and Sticking Together As A Family, which is just a conservative fantasy of how to fix problems.

By the way, the cookies were really good and my family loved them too.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk about: RUN! BTS episode 125

by Admin 1 and Admin 2

So, episode 125 of RUN BTS aired yesterday and we thought it’d be fun to talk about it, share our favorite moments, things we noticed, and other miscellaneous things we thought would be nice to mention. The episode was filmed at their dorm and featured a special guest in form of Baek jong-won who is a famous Korean chef. The episode was special because of that, but also due to the fact that it was used to highlight Korean pork ham which uses the parts of pigs that usually don’t get chosen by restaurants and the average consumers, and also to honor Korean pig farmers in times of COVID.

The members were split into two teams, though Yoongi was missing in the episode which leads us to believe that the episode was likely filmed sometimes in December 2020 (as well as the fact that Tae had that pimple on his cheek which he also had in his birthday vlive). The teams—Tae, Jimin and Seokjin vs. Hoseok, Namjoon and JK—consisted of one person per team who knows what they are doing—Seokjin and JK—and two people with limited or a complete lack of knowledge in the kitchen. Each team was given a recipe they were supposed to cook using the aforementioned ham and that’s what they did, driving Chef Baek slightly crazy (but also making him seem endeared by Bangtan’s cluelessness and kind of lack of confidence within the kitchen) with their constant questions and requests for assistance.

Now that we have the general gist of the episode down, lets jump into the actual point of this post (it turned out quite long, if you don’t want to read the entire thing, perhaps at least read the last couple of paragraphs since they’re kind of important):

One thing that made both of us very, very happy was the fact that Tae was in an outstandingly good mood, cracking jokes and smiling the entire time. We’ve seen his quieter mood in episodes filmed in the first half of 2020, so seeing him this happy while filming this episode was truly amazing and once again made the episode even more special in that regard.

We also had Tae turn to Chef Baek and tell him about how his mom learned how to cook from him and if he could potentially get an autograph from him for his mom. This had Chef Baek all surprised and flustered, since he likely didn’t expect a member of the biggest group in Korea to want his autograph, saying that if anything shouldn’t he be the one asking this question. At that also Namjoon spoke up and quietly asked if he could get one for his mom as well since otherwise he wouldn’t be allowed to come home. In his vlive after the RUN episode was posted, Namjoon mentioned how yes, he did get that autograph in the end and that he also gave the knife to his mom as well since a knife like that is dangerous. Adorable.

At some point JK asked Chef Baek the golden question of whether or not he likes mint chocolate ice cream, followed by the question of pineapple on pizza, yes or no, and how that’s a question they are, for some reason, asked quite frequently when abroad. This was followed by Tae asking if he can eat eight crackers in a minute which led to the following commentary from Jimin:

Another detail we thought was quite funny was how instead of doing something related to cooking, Tae spent some time moving around the kitchen space cleaning away trash or washing dishes, therefore evading having to cook since it seems that isn’t his forte or he simply knew that Jimin and Seokjin would manage to do it just fine. But he did attempt to make rice, which though it turned out well, still was accompanied not only by him asking Chef Baek if he should use cold or warm water, but also Tae grabbing Jimin to ask him for help with the rice cooker.

Speaking of the rice cooker, the very one they used in the episode seems to be the same one they’ve been using since about 2014 and, if I remember correctly, might’ve been a gift from ARMY. This isn’t the only kitchen item they got from ARMY and still own and use to this day, since they also (among other things) have a set of colored bowls that can be seen standing on the shelves.

2014

2020

Something very endearing and cute though was Namjoon peeling a potato in tiny, which reminded me very much of that time around the campfire in Bon Voyage 4. Knowing Namjoon, looking at him peeling it so carefully, we were both kind of worried he might somehow hurt himself while doing it, which by no means is us trying to portray Namjoon as too stupid to do it or anything like that, but he himself said he isn’t that great in the kitchen after all.

After waiting for it since summer 2019, we finally also got a look at JK’s forearm and all the tattoos on it in HD, a big step up from looking at the blurry shots of it in Bon Voyage 4 or their refection in some microwave. ARMY on sns went crazy over it, most staying respectful while also curious, though of course there were also some idiots who felt the need to voice their negative opinions no one asked for. I think it’s an interesting step, and perhaps a really valuable one, that he felt confident and assured enough to show them to us instead of having the editors blur them like they’ve done so in episodes of In The SOOP (both the TV and Weverse versions).

At the end of the episode they all sat down together so that Chef Baek could try their dishes, with someone asking him if maybe they could all win those special engraved knives after all but Chef Baek seemed adamant about how only one team can win. While he tried their dishes Chef Baek complemented different things that the members had done well, leading Seokjin to turn red as he does whenever someone complements him, as well as Jimin looking fond and proud of Tae when Chef Baek complemented something Tae had done and they even high fived each other. Very cute and supportive, love that.

Before he chose a winner, everyone in their respective teams held hands and waited in anticipation to see who won. Thanks to editing we didn’t see the moment of Chef Baek raising the winner’s hand, which created a comedic moment where Seokjin stood up yelling triumphantly just to be very confused when also the other team was cheering. Meaning in the end all of them won and received the knives, including Yoongi despite him not being present. The teams stood up for group hugs where, I don’t know if you noticed, but we thought it was quite cute how vmin hugging seemed so natural and like something they’ve done this way a million times already with Jimin slotting his shoulder below Tae’s arm and his body against Tae’s “automatically” while being a little unsure what to do with his other arm before moving it to pull Seokjin into the hug as well. It’s these little things about Tae and Jimin that get us, you know.

Also someone pointed out a cute parallel between a famous vmin hug picture and Jimin’s arm/hand on Tae’s back during the group hug that I thought we’d show you as well.

Something I think this episode showed us in terms of vmin content is that, even if there aren’t many obvious “moments” (due to obvious reasons I kind of really don’t like that term but for a lack of a better one…), it’s still clear to see in the background how they gravitate toward each other, which of course you can argue was because they’re in the same team, but that doesn’t change the fact that Tae or Jimin could’ve just as well interacted with/asked Seokjin for things or giggled with him, but instead they still had their little moments with each other, while of course also interacting with Seokjin. We’re definitely curious if the Behind cut will show us some more of the vmin moments that we just got glimpses at in the background in the main episode.

As for namjin, since they were on different teams, there weren’t really any interactions between those two but that’s okay. Their interactions with their own teammates were great enough, Namjoon’s team trying to include him in the process even if he himself said the only thing he actually did was peel those potatoes.

A final thing we’d want to mention is a glimpse we got of the sheer number of cameras and people that were present in the background while they were filming this episode, which are likely also present during every other episode and piece of content they film. Looking at that, it doesn’t surprise us in the slightest that vmin (and even namjin, and the other members) might not be as eager/willing to show the true version/amount of affection they have for each other. I mean, who would want to showcase themselves in such a manner in front of so many lenses and eyes, even more so since for the filming of this episode surely also staff belonging to Chef Baek were present?

I think it’s important to keep these things in mind when we discuss vmin (and namjin) interactions in most of their content. Since we usually don’t see their staff and cameras, it creates this illusion of it just being them present and doing their thing, when in reality they are constantly being watched by a number of staff and cameras. Would you really want to be all over your soulmate while you’re being watched like that? Especially in more meaningful ways? Surely these things were easier for them when they were younger, a little greener and more inexperienced, so to speak, and not yet quite so (potentially) emotionally involved with each other, but now? After?

It certainly explains quite a bit of what some insist on classifying as “cold” or “distanced” behavior, doesn’t it? It’s easier to play the role you created for yourself and, in a way, use as shield (BTS V and BTS Jimin, BTS RM and BTS Jin) instead of showing your private (Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin) emotions and behaviors with each other, you know what I mean?

All in all, it was a really, really fun episode that had us howling with laughter.

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 15.20: “Carry On”

I’ll warn you right now - I did not hate it.

THEN: Chuck loses. Jack is God. The Winchesters are finally free.

NOW: Friends, get ready for a whole lot of fan service in the next few minutes. It's like TPTB have been reading everything we say and giving us what we want.

As a song about "ordinary life" plays, Dean's retro alarm clock goes off at 8:00. He shuts it off and sits up so we can see he's wearing a henley shirt (fan service points: 1). As he stretches, he's greeted by Miracle the dog (fan service points: 2)! Who is apparently his dog and definitely not Sam's!

But it's okay because LOOK AT THEM.

Meanwhile, Sam is running (fan service points: 3) and enjoying the beautiful day. When he gets home, he cooks (fan service points: 4) the same dry scrambled eggs that Stevie made for Charlie. Dean wanders in, wearing the dead guy robe, just as two slices of toast pop out of the toaster. I am not giving the robe any points because I don't think it's anything we all publicly long for and get excited about when it comes up, but I am willing to consider any opposing arguments. Sam, wearing just a t-shirt (5 points), tells Dean "it's hot" and I say mmm, yes it is. Dean adorably burns his hands on the hot toast and then brushes his teeth. You know what, I think the robe deserves a point after all. We're up to 6.

And we're not even two minutes into the episode.

And then they JUST KEEP COMING because Sam walks in, exposing his tattoo (7) because he's SHIRTLESS (8), scrubbing at his WET HAIR (9) with a towel, and I curse The Husband for deciding to watch with me because it means it would be kind of awkward to rewind and watch this a few more times. There's not even any dialog I can pretend I didn't catch.

I was NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.

He pulls on the grey v-neck t-shirt of sex (10) and proceeds to carefully make his bed. Dean, meanwhile, kind of sloppily throws his bed together and calls it done. Domestic Winchesters for 11 fan service points, please. Part of me feels like Dean's messy room is OOC, considering how proud he was to have his own room in the first place. But then I have to consider the trunk of the Impala, especially when compared to the hyper-organized neatness of her trunk when Sam's all alone in Mystery Spot, and it feels right. (Why am I thinking about Sam being all alone in Mystery Spot? NO REASON, NO REASON AT ALL.)

Sam's hair in his face while he makes his bed? Yes, please (12 points).

Dean washes the breakfast dishes (13), sneaking some leftover (because they were nasty) eggs to Miracle and looking around to make sure Sam doesn't see, because obviously Sam's going to be the one who doesn't want the dog to get table scraps. Sam put on a plaid shirt earlier, but we see him in the laundry room back down to one v-neck t-shirt (thank you Jack). He's reading as his laundry tumbles in the dryer, and he has to kick the dryer once to stop it from making noise, which I guess is why he's in there babysitting it. I keep reading on Tumblr that people want "at least one laundry scene," as if that didn't exist in The Monster at the End of This Book, but here's your laundry scene, friends. You were right to want it; it is marvelous (14).

Just look at that collection of plaid shirts and tell me it doesn't make you happy.

Dean times himself assembling a gun, complete with plenty of hand closeups (15) and then sits in the library with Miracle, scratching his ears (Miracle's, not his own) and apparently looking for a case. Sam comes in and joins them. He hasn't found anything, but Dean gets a serious look on his face and says "I got something."

Spoiler alert: It is my heart.

Title card!

The Impala pulls to a stop and the guys get out, still with serious looks on their faces. Oddly, the episode title flashes on screen really quickly. Or maybe it's just me. "Sure you're ready for this?" says Sam. "Oh, I don't have a choice," answers Dean. "This is my destiny." And that is exactly how I felt about watching this episode, friends. Not ready, but no choice. The camera pans to show that the boys are at the 43rd Annual Akron Pie Fest. In Akron, Iowa? Just north of Sioux City? Five hour drive? Say hi to Jody and the girls while you're there? Probably not. Probably in Akron, Ohio, almost 16 hours away.

(NO ONE CARES. STOP IT.)

Give me a break. This might be the last time I ever get to calculate driving time.

Anyway. Just pies! Nothing serious! Whew, I was concerned for a second. Dean is emotional.

This is just so beautiful.

Are you crying?

What? No. You're crying, I'm not.

No one is crying. There is no reason for ANYONE to cry.

Sam sits on a bench and watches happy pie eating families (sob). Dean returns with a giant box with six slices of pie (16 points). He sits next to Sam, and they have this conversation:

What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm fine.

Nah, come on, I know that face. That's Sad!Sam face.

I'm not Sad!Sam. I just. I'm thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. If they could be here.

Yeah, I know, I think about them too. You know what, that pain's not gonna go away, right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is going to be for nothing.

Dean's right, Sam. Do not be sad. We will have no Sad!Sam tonight. Live your life, or else those sacrifices are wasted. (ahem.) Sam responds by pushing a slice of pumpkin pie into Dean's face. "I've wanted to do that for a very long time," he laughs. "You're right, I do feel better!" Dean scraping the pie off his face and eating it is pretty adorable.

I'd pay good money to lick that off his face. And not just because I love pumpkin pie.

Not quite 6 minutes in and we're up to at least 16 guaranteed bits of pure fan service. Just sweet, domestic Winchester brothers living their lives. How long has this been going on? I've decided it's been at least a year since the last episode. Maybe longer. A good long time. Lots of time for them to enjoy their newfound freedom. But right now things are getting dark. Because it's nighttime, and because I think somebody's about to die.

A mom sends two young brothers upstairs for bathtime. They pause when the doorbell rings. No one seems to be there, but then the dad is stabbed by people wearing creepy masks. The boys run into their room and hide. From their room, we hear the mom scream, and then a thump. One of the masked guys comes into the room and, after a fake-out when we think they might be safe, drags the boys out from under the bed.

So, domestic life in the bunker and then a hunt? Wow. We're getting it all. What a great episode, full of the things we love.

Is this Becky Rosen's living room?

Daytime. Agents Kripke and Singer (ugh, really? Kripke is good, but how about honoring someone other than the current regime?) show up at the scene. They learn that the dad's blood was drained, the mom is alive but her tongue was ripped out (wow), and the kids were taken. The mom drew a picture of the masks they wore, which the brothers recognize.

In a lovely, picturesque spot, the guys flip through John's journal. And I didn't realize we hadn't seen the journal in a while, but Tumblr informs me many of us were exicted to see it again, so boom. 17 points.

You know what this is? Mimes. Evil mimes.

Yeah. Or vampires.

VampMIMES. Son of a bitch!

Dean comes up with a silly portmanteau name for a monster? That will be 18 points. Sam determines the vamps will be heading for Canton if they follow their pattern, and the victims are families who live on the outskirts of town with children between the ages of five and ten. Well, that couldn't be too difficult to narrow down in a city with a population of over 70,000.

I'll handwave it. The lip biting. You’re welcome.

Night. Canton, I presume. Two masked vamps get out of a van. One of them gets decapitated by Dean. The other is shot in the leg, and then the head, by Sam. Well, he's a vampire, so of course it didn't kill him, but the bullet was soaked in dead man's blood. {Sidebar: "Soaked?" Dipped, maybe, but do you soak metal? Discuss.} They ask where the missing kids are, and the vamp is all, you're gonna let me go if I tell you? "No," Dean explains, adorably disappointed that the vamp isn't a mime after all. "This isn't a you walk out of here kind of situation. But see, if you tell us quick, you get this." He displays his bloody machete. "But if you take your time, you get, you get that." And "that" is a switchblade which Sam casually pops open right on cue.

Yeah, I'll take that. I'll take that itty bitty one.

It's a bad choice.

You see, this, this is quick. It's clean, you know? No muss, no fuss. You blink and you're dead.

But a blade this small, I'm gonna have to keep sawing and sawing to get your head off. And you'll feel it. Every muscle, tendon. Every inch. Could take hours.

Oh, and if those kids are dead? He's gonna use a spoon.

GUYS. I said it before and I’ll say it again. I absolutely love when they remind us that Sam Winchester, that sweet boy with the huge heart and the endless supply of empathy and the puppy dog eyes, I love it when they remind us that he is a fucking psycho when he needs to be. I'm not going to give it a point, because I don't think it's anything we've asked for, but again I'm willing to hear all arguments. Especially if they come with detailed examples of Sam going psycho. Just for evidence, you know.

Just casually talkin' bout torturing you to death. No big.

The vampire wisely decides to reveal the location of the nest where the kids are being held. Next we see the Impala pulling up in front of some kind of barn. The guys open the trunk to get their gear out, and Dean pulls out a throwing star. "Come on. One time." Sam says no. There will be plenty of other times for Dean to use his throwing stars, I'm sure.

The guys enter the barn and find it apparently empty, although we see masked vamps peeking at them from outside. They find the kids locked in a closet, but four vampires appear before they can escape. They shoo the boys outside and shoot the vampires with their dead man's blood bullets from a safe distance. No, they don't. Why? I got no goddamn idea.

{Sidebar: At some point during this fight, I realized they hadn't played "Carry On Wayward Son" at the beginning. And that we got a regular montage, not a season finale extended montage.}

Sam gets knocked unconscious, and Dean loses his machete and then gets pinned by a couple of vamps. But they don't kill him; they just hold him down while an unmasked vampire strolls in. Dean recognizes her from season 1, and pretends not to notice Sam's now-conscious hand surreptitiously creeping toward his machete. Suddenly the vampire loses her head, because Sam is behind her, and the fight starts up again. Dean gets thrown into a wall right next to a big metal spike, which we focus on oddly. And then he gets thrown onto the spike. Oops. Sam kills the last of the vamps and doesn't notice Dean's predicament. He's all, cool, fight's over, let's go get those kids out of here. "Sam," Dean says, "I don't think I'm going anywhere."

Dean tells Sam there's something stuck in his back and it "feels like it's right through me." He keeps touching his chest as if he expects to feel it poking through. Sam reaches around to touch his back and his hand comes back bloody, and if that gives you All Hell Breaks Loose feels, there's a good reason. Sam tries to pull Dean off the spike, but Dean stops him. "It feels like this thing's holding me together right now." Sam's starting to panic and so am I. He wants to go get the first aid kid and call for help, but Dean stops him. And y'all, I'm just gonna have to type the whole thing out.

Sam, Sam. Stay with me. Please, stay with me, please.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Uh. Right. All right, listen to me. Um. You get those boys and you get them someplace safe, all right?

Dean? WE are gonna get them somewhere safe.

No. You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right? I mean, look at us. Saving people, hunting things, it's what we do.

Stop, Dean, just stop

It's okay. It's okay. it's good. It's good. We had one hell of a ride, man.

I will find away, okay? I will find another way.

No. No. No, no no no no. No bringing me back, okay? You know that always ends bad.

Dean, please.

I'm fading pretty quick, so, there's a few things I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam. You know that? I've always looked up to you. Remember when we were kids, you were so damn smart. You never took any of Dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you, that night that I came for you when you were in school? You know, when dad hadn't come back from his hunting trip?

Uh, the woman in white.

The woman in white, that's right. I must have stood outside your door for hours, cause I didn't know what you would say. I thought you'd tell me to get lost, or get dead. And I didn't know what I would have done if I didn't have you. Cause I was so scared. I was scared. Cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It's always been you and me.

Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone.

Yes you can.

Well, I don't want to.

Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you. Right here. Every day. Every day you're out there, and you're living, and you're fighting, cause you, you always keep fighting. You hear me? I'll be there, every step. I love you so much. My baby brother. Well, I did not think this would be the day. But it is, it is, and that's okay. I need you, I need you to promise me. I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me it's okay. Look at me. I need. I need. I need you to tell me it's okay. Tell me it's okay.

Dean. It's okay. You can go now.

Bye, Sam.

NO, IT IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY.

And of course I haven't described Sam's face as he understands what's happening, Dean's occasional spasms of pain, the handholding, the fucking FOREHEAD TOUCH, the tears, the way Dean's hand drops away, the way Sam's hands shake as he clutches his dead brother (hello, AHBL again).

Maybe we just need to watch it.

Gifs borrowed from @jaredandjensen​.

And there's also the Always Keep Fighting shoutout, the "I love you," Dean calling Sam his "baby brother," the "I can't do this alone/Yes you can/Well I don't want to" parallel with 1.01. Infinite points, friends. I can't count that high.

(Things not to think about: Sam putting Dean's body in the back seat, and then putting the two young brothers in the front and driving them to safety. Sam driving 15 hours back to Lebanon with his brother's body. Do not think about these things.)

Aftermath. Sam and Miracle, and no one else, are giving Dean a hunter's funeral. And I know Covid means Sam couldn't have any friends there, but also? This is kind of perfect. Sam facing it alone. The song we hear as Sam lights his brother's pyre is "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits, in case you're not emotionally wrecked yet.

Yeah, I'm already there, thanks anyway.

Next we see Sam's slightly more modern alarm going off at 8:00. Note that Sam gets up later now, because at the beginning of the episode, he had already gone for a run and was cooking breakfast when Dean woke at 8:00. But now there's no one to cook for so he doesn't need to get back early and I AM NOT OKAY.

ANYWAY.

Sam gets up and faces his lonely day. He cooks eggs. One piece of toast pops up. He sits in the library with Miracle and looks at the names carved into the table. He wanders the halls with his dog at his side. (SAM HAVING A DOG WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM HAPPY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE US HAPPY. HOW DARE YOU.)

{Sidebar: Has Sam ever had a dog when he wasn't at a low point in his already-low life? Discuss.}

Eventually he finds himself at the door to Dean's room. The room is just as Dean left it, kind of messy, kind of very full of Dean. He sits on Dean's bed and pets the dog and cries and it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that I am ROLLING AROUND IN ALL OF THIS BEAUTIFUL PAIN.

No one at all.

@annianvi thinks he’s wearing Dean’s hoodie when he cooks his sad lonely breakfast? Could it be?

Sam hears a phone buzzing in Dean's desk. He digs out the one labeled "Dean's other other phone" and answers. The caller asks for "Agent Bon Jovi" and says he's had some bodies turn up without hearts in Austin. "A friend of mine, Donna Hanscum, said you were the one to call." Oooh, are we sending him to Austin? Is Walker, Texas Ranger just going to be another fake name and fake badge? Now that's how you do a spinoff!

{Sidebar: Does Donna know about Dean? Did Sam tell anyone yet? Is the trying to get him out of the bunker and keep him busy? If so, wouldn't she have given the guy Sam's number, not Dean's other other phone? But maybe it's someone she talked to weeks ago. Discuss.}

Sam tells the caller he is on his way, and we see him with a packed bag, heading out of the bunker with Miracle. He turns to look one last time and then turns off all the lights. We haven't seen the bunker this dark since the day they found it. I don't think he's ever coming back. Goodbye, bunker. I know some people hated you, but I was not one of them. {Sidebar: Did he give the bunker key to anyone? Surely he wouldn't want all those resources to go to waste!}

So, I guess the episode title refers to Sam having (choosing?) to carry on after he loses his brother. THIS IS FINE.

Now we're back at Dean's pyre, and this time we drift up with the smoke. We catch up with Dean, outdoors, in a lovely setting with trees and birds. "Well, at least I made it to Heaven," he says. "Yep," someone answers. It's Bobby! Real Bobby, not AU Bobby! Dean's actually standing next to a building - a cabin, maybe - and Bobby is sitting on the porch.

What memory is this?

It ain't, ya idjit.

Yeah it is. Cause the last I heard, you, you were in in Heaven's lockup.

Was. Now I'm not. That kid of yours, before he went wherever, made some changes here. Busted my ass out. And then he, well, set some things right. Tore down all the walls. Heaven ain't just reliving your golden oldies any more. It's what it always should have been. Everyone happy, everyone together. Rufus lives about five miles that way. With Aretha. Thought she'd have better taste. And your mom and dad, they got a place over yonder. It ain't just Heaven, Dean. It's the Heaven you deserve. And we been waiting for you.

So Jack did all that.

Well, Cas helped. It's a big new world out there. You'll see.

So, I guess Cas made it out of the Empty? Dean smiles at that, but doesn't suggest finding him or anything. I approve. Bobby pulls out a couple of beers (the green cooler made it into Heaven!!!) and they share some bad beer. Dean comments that Heaven is "almost perfect," and Bobby knows EXACTLY what's missing, because of course he does. "He'll be along. Time up here, it's different. You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream. So I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?" Well, Dean doesn't have everything he could ever want or need, but he does see one thing - Baby. With her Kansas plates! Friends, that's two things I requested before the end that I didn't think I would ever see: a forehead touch, and Baby wearing her original plates. Thank you, Jack.

Dean's face lights up. "I think I'll go for a drive." As he walks to his car, we see the cabin is actually Harvelle's Roadhouse, albeit smaller, I think. Dean settles into his car and says "Hey, Baby" and when he turns her on, "Carry On Wayward Son" begins to play.

I know he looks good in Purgatory, but DAMN if he don't look fine in Heaven, too.

We cut to the name Dean, which is embroidered on - a little boy's overalls. Sam's little boy. Oh, wow. I was not prepared for this. Sam has a son named Dean, and we switch back and forth between Dean driving through Heaven and scenes of Sam's life with his son and his mysterious, barely-seen wife. She has long dark hair, and I'd like to point out that she could easily be either Eileen or Dr. Cara Roberts. Just saying. Sam's house is full of family photos, including the one of him and Dean from his memory box and a new one from the episode Lebanon. I never thought about the fact that they might have actually taken a photo, and if they did, would it still be around after Sam smashed the pearl? Well, obviously, yes. We see Sam throwing a ball with his son, helping him with his homework (Sam in glasses? Check!) and just obviously really loving this kid and giving him the childhood he never had. We also see a really, really unfortunate grey wig that I refuse to screencap. You're welcome. As aging Sam sits in the hundred-year-old car in his garage, his dead brother drives happily along dirt roads in Heaven, and I'd prefer my Heaven have paved roads, thanks.

We end in Sam's house, now complete with hospital bed. Sam could be in his 80s or even 90s, which means he could have lived another 50 years, more or less, after Dean died. His son doesn't look any older than his 20s or 30s (and also looks vaguely South Asian to me), and I wonder how old Sam was when he finally let himself have a family. Remember when Dean said his happy ending was for Sam to have kids and get old? Well, he got it, finally. Did Sam get a regular job? Did he keep hunting? We don't know. What we do know is that his son has a anti-possession tattoo. Some people have taken this to mean young Dean is a hunter, but I don't think we can jump to that conclusion. It could just be 1) Dean wanted a tattoo like his father's, or b) Sam knows there are still demons out there and that his son would naturally be a target, hunter or not.

All right, I had to screencap teary-eyed Sam grasping the steering wheel and reliving his years with his brother in this car, so we can just pretend we don't see The Wig, okay?

Sam's evidently in hospice care. Or maybe we'll all have hospital beds in our houses in 50 years. Who knows. His son sits on the bed and takes his hand. Sam smiles at him, and Dean says "Dad, it's okay. You can go now." PARALLELLS! As some woman sings "Carry On Wayward Son" for whatever reason (why didn't they use the lovely a cappella version they already had from Fan Fiction?), Sam places his hand on Dean's and takes his last breath.

{Sidebar: Where is Sam's wife in all of this? Divorced? Already dead? She doesn't seem to be in the family pictures, so I'm going with divorced. Discuss.}

Heaven. Oh, guys. I've done this rewatch without tearing up at all but I'm about to tip over. The Impala pulls onto a bridge. Dean gets out. (Now your life's no longer empty, surely Heaven waits for you.) He stands at the bridge railing, enjoying Heaven, smiling. And then he feels something and he smiles even more because he knows it's Sam. Oh god, Jensen did such a good job here. Just this fucking smile killed me dead. "Hey, Sammy," he says. He turns and there is Sam, wearing the same outfit he wore in 1.01 (they both are, but Sam's is a bigger departure from his later years). Why? I don't know. But I know it means Sam Winchester is spending eternity in something that isn't a plaid shirt. How do we feel about that?

"Dean," Sam says. They face each other and smile, and it's the smile of we just survived a hunt I didn't think we'd survive or our son just overpowered God or something along those lines. Then they embrace, and I love the way Sam hesitates just a little before clapping a hand on Dean's back. Like he's afraid it isn't really happening, and he doesn't want to break the illusion. I also love that Dean, as always, takes the top (oh, get your minds out of the gutter) and hugs as if he were taller than Sam. Then Dean puts his hand on the back of Sam's neck and turns him to admire the view and he has this joyous smile like now, this is FINALLY Heaven. And he gazes at Sam like look, Sammy, look what we did. Look what we get. The lack of dialog in this scene is just ~chef's kiss~. The camera goes wide and we see the three main characters, Sam and Dean and Baby, enjoying the Heaven they deserve.

I would like to know where they filmed this, because it's gorgeous even without the Winchesters.

Did Sam's entire life go by in the span of Dean's drive? Or did Dean just decide he'd drive until his brother arrived, no matter how long it took? And how much do I love the fact that he could have gone and visited his parents but instead he said "nah, I'll drive around and wait for Sam?" SO MUCH, PEOPLE. SO MUCH.

Also, can we talk about the fact that Sam didn't know what to expect in Heaven? I mean, Ash said they were soulmates and would share a Heaven, but why would he believe that? And he might have even still believed he'd have a hard time getting into Heaven. What a relief it must have been to show up on Dean's bridge.

And then Jared and Jensen thank us. You're welcome, boys. Thank you.

So. Thursday night I was mildly positive about the episode. But on rewatch, I'm extremely positive. Sure, I would have loved the Six Feet Under ending where we see everyone's fate. And maybe that would have happened if not for Covid. But I'm just relieved we didn't get the Game of Thrones or How I Met Your Mother endings. I'm not sure this current cohort could have done better, honestly. Sam wanted a normal family life. Dean wanted Sam to have a normal family life. But Sam was never going to stop hunting as long as Dean was hunting. And Dean wasn't going to stop hunting as long as he was alive. Dean got the end he wanted/expected and the Heaven he earned (and Sam caring for Jack was directly responsible for Heaven's improvements). Sam got to live a normal life and have a family. As I said earlier, I suspect his marriage didn't last. (Or maybe he and Eileen or Cara got married for insurance purposes, and happily co-parented little Dean, but knew they weren't each other's one true love.) But I actually prefer that. Dean loved Sam more than he loved anyone. Sam loved Dean the same way. I'm glad Sam got to have a child (who he loves as much as his brother, but in a different way), but I don't want Sam and Dean to share their Heaven with Sam's wife.

Now, would I have done Dean's death differently? Yes. I did appreciate that they had him upright, so the brothers were face to face, just like AHBL. But being impaled on a spike was just less dramatic that I would have liked. I would have preferred that Sam immediately see his brother was dying, instead of Dean having to explain it to him. Dean could have had his jugular torn, slowly bleeding out, and still been on his knees (held up by Sam, hell yes) making his deathbed speech. And then I wouldn't have thought "would an ambulance be here by now if you'd called them?" halfway through it.

{Sidebar: What if Sam had fed Dean some blood from one of the dead vamps. Wouldn't that have kept him undead long enough to get fixed up, and then they could have done the vampire cure? Discuss.}

I know some people are very unhappy about the finale. Honestly, from what I can tell, most of those people are hard-core Destiel shippers. And I guess they wanted, as they always do, for the Dean and Castiel relationship to be more important than the Dean and Sam relationship. Sorry, guys, that was never gonna happen. In the end, it came down to the epic love story of Sam and Dean, just as it should have.

So, I'm sad and I'm happy. I'm bereft and I'm full. I miss my boys, but my boys will always be with me. I hope you guys will be with me for a long time, too.

[keanureevesisbae]

The alluring charm of Henry Cavill - Chapter 6

Summary: Henry has some things to think about, especially after his agent Richard calls him

Henry Cavill x Adelaide Park (ofc)

Wordcount: 4k

Warnings: None

A/N: So it has been quite awhile since I updated this fic. Thank you for bearing with me! This chapter might not be the best, so I’m sorry in advance. But writing has been a pretty hard process for a few weeks. I can write a few important parts in a chapter, but it’s not a coherent story itself. It still needs tons of filler. However, I’m slowly but surely getting back into it! Also, I have reached 350 followers (353 to be exact) and I’m doing a little celebration, you can read about it here!

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

Henry really needs to think this through.

He meant every single word that he said yesterday to Adelaide, he truly does. He is falling in love with her and he is falling way too hard, he is aware of that. He doesn’t even care about the stupid part of the show anymore, he just wants to get to know her and be around her. Right now and even after the show, with her is where he wants to be.

However, he also meant the other thing he said to her: she can go home if she feels like that’s for the best. However, deep down he doesn’t want her to go. Not yet at least.

That entire afternoon they had spend kissing, like they were two teenagers afraid of getting caught. By the time they had to go home, it was hard for him to focus and bounce back to their routine they had before their first kiss.

Should or shouldn’t he wrap his arm around her shoulders, push that strand of hair out of her face or use his thumb to wipe away the bits of food of her cheek?

During the night however, those doubts disappeared like snow in the sun. The whole world  would see how they slept after the haunted house incident, why stop now? While Adelaide was asleep, he would just stare at her, without her looking away as she would turn into a blushing mess.

He never expected her to be like the pro she is, but then he realizes: while she has never been in a relationship before, this woman is the queen of romantic comedies and the one that she starred in, all portrayed healthy relationships, compared to other movies. She knows what she deserves and while that is more than he can offer, he can always try.

Adelaide Park stole his heart and from the looks of it, she has no intentions on ever giving it back.

Not that he minds at all.

Over the course of the next few days, they do some challenges and somehow they manage to do pretty okay. For the YouTube page of the Celebrity Project, they even did a segment on how to cook some Korean dishes and the comments underneath were all about one thing.

Their chemistry.

He admits, there is a lot of chemistry between them and it may or may not have been multiplied ever since their kiss. During the cooking segment, he kept messing up, causing Adelaide to simply shake her head, before wrapping her fingers around his arm, placing the side of her head on his bicep. She would softy reassure him, something that not only warmed his heart, but also the hearts of the fans.

While they are second place now (the Biebers are behind them and Charlie and Jennifer are way ahead of them), they are the fan favorites and Adelaide continues to impress everyone watching.

Tomorrow they are going on a camping trip, as part of their final challenge. After that, it’ll all be over. No more camera’s, no more stupid challenges (meaning never eating fried tarantulas anymore) and it’s only him and her together, getting to know one another on an even deeper level. He even thought about maybe auditioning for her upcoming romantic comedy. Playing alongside her, that’s all he wants.

It is hard for Henry, not to kiss her every time he gets the chance. He looks at her as she is making breakfast for them, but the ringing of his phone disturbs their little moment. He sees it’s his agent Richard and he places his hand on the small of her back. ‘You need me for something?’ he asks her.

She looks up and shakes her head. ‘No, please, take it,’ she says. ‘I can manage.’ He earns himself a beautiful smile from Adelaide.

After he excused himself, he walks outside, away from the camera’s. ‘Yes, what do you want?’

‘You are not responding to my texts,’ Richard informs him of the obvious.

He sighs. ‘I have been busy.’

‘With Adelaide.’ He tries to formulate as a question, but his agent fails miserably.

‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Henry asks him annoyed. He really hasn’t got time for this, especially not when he can make breakfast with Adelaide, as part of their morning routine. He loves these little moments and their cottage has become such an important spot for them.

‘You’re losing, Henry. You know what that means, right?’ The asshole answers his own rhetorical question. ‘You’re not getting James Bond.’

He doesn’t care about James Bond anymore. He doesn’t even want to portray James Bond anymore. But he doesn’t want to come across as a simp. ‘We’re not too far behind,’ he says. ‘I’ll get her to man up, so we can win this.’ Like a dagger goes straight through his heart as he says that. He doesn’t want Adelaide to man up. He wants her to stay exactly the way she is.

‘Are you sure?’ Richard asks and he can even hear the cockiness and arrogance in his agent’s voice. The second Henry gets back, he is going to switch from agency. He hates Richard. ‘Because from the looks of it, she is continuing dragging you down.’

That is not the fucking case. ‘We’ll manage,’ Henry hisses through clenched jaws.

‘And I never knew you were such a good actor. I almost believe you actually care about her.’

‘Maybe after this I’ll get even more jobs.’ Henry doesn’t mean it and even saying it out loud, pains him, however, it left his lips before he could even think about it and that’s what worries him. Does he mean it deep down?

He looks over his shoulder, to see Adelaide placing everything on the table outside. He can’t possibly mean it, right? ‘I’ve got to go.’ Without waiting for Richard to answer, he hangs up and marches up to the table.

This idiot is making him furious from the inside, completely ruining his excellent mood. The only thing he wants is to spend his day with Adelaide, without distractions.

While he was fuming of anger a few seconds ago, all his annoyance disappears as he approaches her. ‘Just in time,’ she says with a genuine smile, that makes him regret all the things he said to Richard.

Normally he would sit across from her, but today he sits right next to her, as they watch over the garden. Birds fly from tree to tree, the clouds are slowly dissolving in the sky and a stray cat wanders around their yard. ‘What’s the plan for today?’ Henry asks, as he grabs a cracker from the plate.

‘I think we have… pre… per… pre-pa-ra-tion time for the the final challenge tomorrow.’ She looks a bit annoyed, for her tumbling over her words. ‘Fuck,’ she hisses under her breath.

‘Addy,’ he says in a soft voice, causing her to look up. ‘It’s okay, remember that. You are with me.’ He can’t help but push a strand of hair out of her face and as he is doing that, he knows this is what fans comment about, if this shot makes it into the episode. He doesn’t even care at this point. He actually quite enjoys the fact that they are the fan favorites now.

‘Sorry,’ she whispers, clearly a bit distraught from stumbling like that. She was doing great these past few days.

He decides not to continue this conversation, because he knows that it annoys her and makes her feel insecure. Especially on a beautiful day like this, he shouldn’t bring up something like that. ‘We could go into town, buy some things.’

She nods. ‘Of course. Sounds like fun.’

‘And maybe you and I could go for a swim later this evening.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s fun,’ he chuckles. ‘Maybe you can finally swim by yourself. Just a little bit. You’ve been doing so good these last few days.’

Adelaide simply smiles at him, before taking a bite of her cracker. ‘Maybe.’ She lets out a sigh, placing her head against his bicep. Despite them wanting to keep whatever they have a bit of a secret, he loves this moment and doesn’t care about the camera’s picking this up. He doesn’t care about eventual comments from the fans. The only thing he cares about is that she feels safe enough to let her guard down around him and be vulnerable like this.  

He places his hand on her leg. ‘I saw there is a little cafe, maybe we can have something to drink there.’

She nods. ‘Of course.’

They finish up their breakfast and she quickly tells him that she is going to put on some make-up and get dressed. He doesn’t think that she needs that, but he simply stares after her. When she’s out of his sight, he lets out a deep, slightly frustrated sigh that he had been holding in for a while now.

Richard is really annoying the shit out of him. He means, of course he wasn’t too excited about working with Adelaide in the first place, but that was before he got to know her. That was before she looked at him with those eyes of her, that hid so much, but on the other hand told him a lot. That was before he felt her body against his. That was before she sat on his lap and kissed him.

That afternoon, he was falling for her a little more with every kiss that they shared. It just clicked, it matched perfectly. Her petite frame fits right in his arms, like they were made for one another. He loves feeling her soft skin underneath his fingers.

‘Ready?’ Adelaide asks, when she walks back in. She is wearing a blush pink dress, that is pretty tight fitting. He bites his lip as he tries not to gawk at her, however he barely manages and simply nods. She grabs her purse and he holds out his hand. ‘What is it?’ she asks him, her voice as sweet as honey.

‘Give me your purse,’ he says with a smile. ‘Come on.’

Adelaide rolls her eyes and reluctantly hands him her purse. ‘Looks good on you,’ she chuckles. When they closed the door behind them, they decide not to take the car, but to walk instead. He holds out his arm for her to take. Her hand rests on his under arm, her finger nails grazing over his skin.

Henry can see them walking around like this in the future, her as his girlfriend and he wouldn’t be complaining about that at all.

◎ ◎ ◎

They have bought a few items, like some extra clothing and a first aid kit (that was something that Adelaide thought of), and now they are in a pretty fancy store, because Henry saw something in the window, that he really wants Adelaide to try on. He grabs the dress from the rack and a pair of heels that would match. ‘Try this on,’ Henry tells her.

She frowns, crossing her arms in front of her chest. ‘Why?’

‘Just to humor me. Pretty please.’

Adelaide simply rolls her eyes, before he spots a tiny smile on her face. She walks over to the changing room, as he follows her to shut the curtain. He watches as the camera’s start to spread over the store, capturing every moment. He hears her hum softly as she gets changed, forcing a smile on his face.

She is too adorable.

‘You done?’ Henry asks.

‘Almost,’ she says. ‘But you can open the curtain. Maybe you can even help me zip up.’

He would love that. With the upmost discretion, he opens the curtain, making sure the camera’s can’t pick up on them. ‘Give me kiss,’ he mouths, so the mic’s don’t pick up.

‘Why?’ she soundlessly whispers back,

‘Just do it,’ he says without making noise.

She steps into the heels, before leaning in to give him a soft kiss. Her plump and soft lips against his, nearly makes him hum in content. He wishes this moment could last forever, but it’s Adelaide that pulls him back into the real world. ‘Zip me up,’ she tells him, as she turns around.

He zips her up, glancing at her body and with a certain elegance and grace, Adelaide steps out of the changing room, twirling in front of the mirror. Henry has seen a few of her red carpet looks and he has to admit: she absolutely knows how to work the camera, with that an innocent look, but also a certain confidence.

‘You look beautiful,’ he says and quickly closes his mouth, because there is so much he wants to say to her. This tight black dress, shows off all her features that she should flaunt a lot more. The deep neckline, her exposed back and the way it hugs all her curves…

‘You like it?’ Adelaide asks him, looking at him through the mirror.

‘I don’t just like it, I love it, Addy,’ he admits, leaning with his shoulder against the wall.

‘Why did you want me to wear this, mister Cavill?’ she asks him, walking up to him, stopping right in front of him, with her hands resting on her hips.

‘Just because,’ he mumbles.

Adelaide scoffs. ‘That’s not a good enough reasoning for me.’

He wonders what it would be like to have an honest to God relationship with the lovely Adelaide Park. She teases him a lot, she uses him as a personal pillow and seems to enjoy his presence. Henry would love to do this a lot more often: take her out shopping. It doesn’t have to be extravagant like this, even a domestic run through the grocery store would suffice. Besides, just being around her would be all he needs.

Shit, he is really falling for her hard and fast.

Adelaide’s hand grazes over his chest and he places his on hers, engulfing her hand underneath his. ‘I just figured it would look beautiful on you and I was totally right.’

He can see it; she is lost in his eyes for a few seconds. She visibly shakes herself out of her thoughts, before simply rolling her eyes—a defense mechanism, pretending that she doesn’t care about his words, while actually she does. It’s adorable, really—and stepping back into the changing room. ‘Addy, give me the heels and dress.’

‘Why?’ he hears her ask from behind the curtain.

‘Because I’m going to buy them for you.’

‘I thought you were my partner, not my sugar daddy.’ She pulls the curtain aside and she is wearing her own dress again, while she is slipping on her own shoes again. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘I do,’ he tells her. ‘Please, let me buy this for you. Admit it: it looks really good on you.’

She scrunches up her nose. ‘It does,’ she whispers.

‘Then you should have it.’

‘It’s really expensive,’ Adelaide retorts.

‘Doesn’t matter. I have not one, but two cards with me. I think I will be fine.’ He takes the black dress and the heels with him and walks over to the counter, to pay for them.

Henry insists on carrying all the bags for her and when they arrive at the cafe, she slides next to him on the bench, so they can look at the pedestrians walking by. She sits so close to him, that he is afraid that she can hear his raising heartbeat. No matter how comfortable they are with one another right now, she still makes him a bit nervous.

‘You look forward to camping with me?’ she asks.

‘I look forward to do anything with you,’ Henry chuckles, causing her to blush intensely. ‘You’ve ever been camping before?’

That is such a stupid question, he thinks to himself. Probably not, since she told him about her family situation. If people barely have money for food, they don’t go on camping trips. Henry, you stupid fool.

She simply shakes her head and from the looks of it, she’s not bothered by his question. ‘You?’

‘As a kid, yeah. But I mostly just followed my dad.’

‘More experience than me,’ Adelaide chuckles. She takes a sip of her cappuccino and says: ‘Just have to tell you, that I don’t really like night time.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s dark and outside,’ Adelaide tells him. ‘And I might be a little bit afraid in the dark, if you hadn’t noticed that already with the haunted house.’

Henry chuckles. ‘A little bit, but don’t you worry about a thing. I’m going to be right there with you. Besides,’ he says, ‘I don’t care about winning.’

‘Sure you do.’

He shakes his head. ‘No, I don’t and don’t fight me on that,’ he jokes, pinching her chubby cheek. ‘I just look forward to spend more time with you.’

◎ ◎ ◎

‘Henry, could you come in here?’

Adelaide’s voice is coming from the bathroom and he stops in front of the closed door. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asks, worry running through his veins.

‘There is a spider here and I want you to kill it.’

That’s actually quite the relief and it causes Henry to chuckle. He opens the door, only to discover that she is simply leaning against the wall. Adelaide places her finger on her lips and gestures to close the door. The door clicks shut behind him and she walks over to him. ‘What are you—’ He can’t finish his sentence, because she plants her lips on his, wrapping her arms around his neck. Henry melts against her body, placing his hands on her waist and chuckles. ‘Never knew you could be this sneaky, Addy.’ He lifts her on the counter and gives her another kiss. ‘I missed your lips.’

‘I missed yours too,’ she whispers. ‘I fear that this is because it’s all new and exciting, but I really can’t stop kissing you.’

He never expected her to be this bold, but he also feels like she has been holding back all along. The world is seeing one version of Adelaide Park, the one that she wants them to see, that she has gotten used to be. However, there is an even more complicated one hidden behind a large wall that she has build over the years. Slowly but surely, she lets her guard down every so often, to show him what she is like.

He can’t wait to see more of that.

‘I can’t stop either,’ he confesses, leaning in to kiss her again.

She tilts her head when he lets go of her, her thumbs slowly caressing his cheeks. ‘Henry,’ she whispers, ‘I’m worried for tomorrow.’

‘Why is that, Addy?’

She simply shrugs. ‘I’m just afraid that I’m going to let you down.’

Richards words flash through his mind for a single second, but he quickly shoves them aside. ‘Don’t be. I don’t care about winning anymore, especially because I won the greatest prize already.’ He buries his face in her nape, to press a delicate kiss on her skin. ‘We’ll see how it goes, okay? But remember, you and I are together every single minute. I’m not leaving you alone, because I know that is what you are worried about too.’

Adelaide nods, as she looks a bit caught. ‘Pinky promise?’

He holds out his pink, hooking it behind hers. ‘Pinky promise,’ he whispers, pressing a kiss on her fingers.

‘Now get out, I need to get ready for our swimming session.’ With a wide grin, she pushes him out of the bathroom and he can’t help but laugh. A blush is set on his cheeks and he grabs his own swimming trunks.

Henry sits on the bed, the smile still evident on his face. Shit, he is way too much into her. He waits as he hears Adelaide hum again, before she walks out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body and a huge smile on her face.

After he changed into the blue shorts, he walks out of the cottage, towards the pool. Adelaide is already sitting on the edge, her back as straight as a ruler and he sits next to her. ‘Ready?’ Henry asks her.

She takes a deep breath. ‘I am.’

He gets in the cold water and places his hands in the dips of her waist. Henry enjoys these swimming moments they share together. Her body is always so close to his and the evening sun making her like an ethereal goddess. He knows that it’s hard for her to trust anyone, but he somehow managed to build something with her.

Like usual, she hisses as soon as she hits the water and wraps her arms tightly around his shoulders. Her legs snake around his hips and that is the first time that she does that. While he is not complaining, Henry continues to tell himself that his teen years are over and that this shouldn’t make him this excited.

Adelaide manages to actually sort of swim, but he keeps his hand on her stomach, making sure she keeps floating. ‘Don’t let go of me,’ she tells him.

‘I wouldn’t dare.’

The water hits her in her face, but she starts to laugh.

‘You’re almost there, Addy,’ Henry encourages her and she places her underarms on the edge.

A chuckle of disbelieve leaves her lips. ‘I did it, Henry!’ She wraps her arms around his shoulders.

He pulls her closer to his body. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ he tells her. She pulls back and from the looks of it, it seems like she doesn’t care about hiding anymore, not when his hands are placed on her back. Her hot breath makes his lips tingle. ‘Thank you.’

It takes him all of his willpower not to lean in and kiss her, because the temptation is nearly killing him. He kissed her a few times today, however it’s not enough. He can’t stop thinking about her, about kissing her non stop and getting to know her even more. Maybe it’s because it’s all new and exciting.

Adelaide starts to shiver a bit and he presses his forehead against her temple. ‘Let’s get out of the pool. It’s becoming colder.’

He gets out and grabs her towel, holding it out her for her, wrapping her up in her large towel. He doesn’t want to let her go, but he keeps thinking to himself that in a matter of a few days, she is all his and the camera’s are finally out.

Adelaide takes a quick hot shower and walks over to the bed all dressed in her pajamas. He quickly gets himself ready, before he steps in the bed with her. He shuts out the lights, wrapping his arm around her upper body, as he presses his chest against her back. ‘Sleep tight,’ he whispers, burying his face in the back of her neck.

‘Good night,’ she says, holding his hand tightly in hers.

It doesn’t take long before he feels her asleep. He doesn’t know how she does it, but she always falls asleep pretty quickly and he has spend enough nights next to her to hear the change of her breathing. She twists and turns in his arms, like she usually does. Adelaide turns around and wraps her arm and leg around him and her face in the crook of his neck. He simply holds her body closely to his, as he feels her lips against his skin.

Henry’s fingers run through her hair and carefully presses a kiss on top of her head. He doesn’t care about winning anymore.

The one thing he cares about, is Adelaide Park.

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y’know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

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Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

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cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

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baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to Run! BTS: 1-20

Hi all! Welcome to part one of my overview of all jikook moments in Run! BTS and Run BEHIND. 

My biggest takeaway from these early episodes is that BH didn't quite know how to make a good variety show yet. Some of the set-ups are awkward and the guys are clearly still getting used to being on camera in this format. The jikook moments aren’t as frequent or obvious. As we go on, expect less “they look at each other in a maybe meaningful way” and more “then he sat down in his lap...” That said, this set of episodes includes both the priest skit and the cops skit, so if you’re into role-play, this was your era of Run!

Episode Guide under the cut, to avoid both spoilers and taking up half your dash...

UPDATED PER THE SUGGESTIONS OF SOME LOVELY COMMENTERS. THANK YOU ALL! New content in bold. 

FYI: When you don’t see “BEHIND” descriptions or photos, it means there were no notable jikook moments. I’ve given each ep a general rating and a special Jikook-ery rating, both out of 5. YMMV!

Ep 1  (n/a)

The one that’s just a commercial for the V app

Ep 2 “The Greatest Man” (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one with the most homoerotic series of challenges I’ve ever seen to prove who’s the “best” man

6:28 - Jimin TWICE randomly announces during musical chairs that JK will win 

Not ikook-specific, but FYI, Jungkook REALLY likes being tickled. If you want a vague idea of what the beginnings of an OT7 orgy might look like, the scene at 2:09 is for you! And if you’re curious what each member looks like putting on lipstick and holding their mouths open, check out 4:24. 

Ep 3  “Theme Park” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one at Six Flags that’s not worth watching unless you enjoy shaky camera footage of people screaming on roller coasters

5:44 - When Jimin is proud of himself for having ridden a coaster, JK goes to say something to him but keeps glancing at the camera self-consciously.  

6:19 - With the camera further away, JK and JM talk with each other while waiting on line

7:06 - JK fast-walks to get to JM and then leans on JM’s shoulder to check the post-ride pictures

Ep 4  “30 Second Gate” (Ep: 1 / KM: 0.5)

The one where they do fairly boring challenges in a pool

5:26 - There’s a super brief instant of JK looking over at Jimin while shyly tugging on his shirt collar. Prob not even worth being noted as a moment, but JK looks so adorable that I’m including it anyway

Ep 5  “100 Seconds Sports Day” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one with a rather repetitive relay game

5:56 - JM playfully throws a milk carton at JK when JK fails to complete his task

7:53 - JK does some “teleporting” where he goes from being behind Suga in one shot to next to JM in the following one. He stays next to JM the whole rest of the time they’re mixing the drink. 

Ep 6 “Sketch: Confession” (Ep: 2 / KM: 4)

The priest sketch that launched a thousand AUs...

3:30 - Jungkook comes in to “confess his sins” to Jimin, who is playing a priest and calls him “darling.” JK confesses to using Jin’s razor while also claiming to be the eldest in BTS. Jimin tells him that he’s so handsome, it must be that he’s blessed by God and can be forgiven for most things. Jimin tells JK to give him a hug to get forgiveness for his sins. As they hug, both are smiling and the onscreen text tells us how happy Jimin is and puts a little heart next to his face during the hug. Jimin strokes JK’s cheek after and it seems to make JK a little shy. Jimin calls out “bye, darling” as he leaves, then calls him “cutie” for the camera.  For comparison’s sake, Jimin hits V on the forehead and makes J-Hope do 50 push-ups to earn forgiveness. He hugs J-Hope at the end of it and the difference between how that hug feels versus the one with JK is clear as day.

Ep 6pt2 “Sketch: Confession” (Ep: 2 / KM: 0 )

None (neither appear in this episode)

Ep 7 “Paintball” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one that reminds you paintball is more fun to play than to watch

I’ll be honest, guys, between the masked helmets they’re wearing and the constant cutting around, I cannot follow the paintball games in this episode at all. I’m going to go out on a limb and say nothing particularly shippy happens during them. 

9:54 - JK picks up Jimin from behind and bounces him around for a while (we don’t know how long because the camera cuts before he’s done). It will be revealed in ep. 10 that this is part of JK’s secret mission, which is to get Jimin to say “please stop.” However, despite Jimin not looking thrilled at all the bouncing around, he doesn’t tell JK to stop.

Ep 8 “Treasure Hunt” (Ep: 2 / KM: 2)

The one where they run or ride ATVs to find flags in the woods

1:15 - Jimin says out of nowhere that he thinks JK is going to be running and tells him to be careful not to bump into anyone (I think - the subs are a little weird on this one).

13:09 - JK tries to take one of JM’s meal ticket flags. JM refuses and claims JK called him “trash.” JK (kind of?) denies this and throws his one flag on the ground in frustration. J-Hope grabs it and JK sulks a bit because he’s left with nothing. 

13:33 - Jimin reverses course and gives JK one of his flags. JK is delighted. RM asks why (apparently he, Jimin, and V had a deal to share their flags?) and Jimin just responds that Jungkook is very cute (which the on-screen texts puts a heart next to).  Jimin ends up giving a flag to V, too, but he makes him beg like a dog first. 

14:16 - Jimin calls JK over and gives him a brief hug / pat on the back

Ep 9 “Bungee Jump” (Ep: 1 / KM: 0.5)

The one where it is what it says on the tin

11:25 - Some jikookers have reported hearing JK say an un-captioned “pretty” here (sounds like yebbeo or yeebeun in Korean). I’ll be totally honest that I can’t really make it out, but I will put this note here in case others with better ears than mine want to check it out!

13:59 - JM has his arm around JK at the start of the shot here

Ep 10 “Spy for Silmido Island” (Ep: 2 / KM: 2)

The one where everyone eats a meal as they learn how JK has been doing secret missions the last three episodes

6:16 - JK explains that he failed his mission to get Jimin to say, “please stop.” We see flashbacks of JK trying - in addition to the above picking JM up, JK also pulled on his hair and gave him a shoulder rub (there is no explanation for why he thought that would be something JM would tell him to stop), and spraying him with a water bottle.  The main jikook takeaway from this and the confession episode seems to be that JM will let JK get away with anything because he think he’s cute. 

7:00 - We see that JM inadvertently made JK fail his mission to feed the camera man because, when JK held out food, JM got JK to feed him instead

Ep 11 "Back to School" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one where Suga dresses as a girl and gets hit on by the rest of the band

21:28 - Despite Jimin doing nothing but smiling in the sketch, JK says he's the day's MVP and is weirdly sincere about it

24:05 - YMMV on jeon-lous, but he does indeed do the tongue thing here when JM is flirting with girl-Yoongi

Ep 12 "Cops" (Ep: 4 / KM: 4)

The police sketch that launched ten thousand AUs...

6:46 - "Detective" Jungkook pulls "criminal" Jimin away by his collar 8:41 - After Jimin acts cute and says he's bored, JK comes over and slaps his upper thigh before throwing Jimin over his shoulder and slapping his butt. When JK puts him down, Jimin just looks at him with a dazed smile for a moment before they continue on with the sketch.

9:30 - Jimin tries to flirt his way out of of JK’s interrogation, which JK says is for “setting fire to ARMY’s hearts with his smiling eyes.”

10:25 - After a brief interuption by “Captain” Suga, the interrogation starts having flirty vibes again, with JK smirking and making eye contact while Jimin acts bashful and speaks in a whispery voice. 

11:00 - JK holds a fake gun on JM as he starts his “Lie” dance, during which he directs finger hearts towards JK. The camera focuses on JM and, by the time it shows JK again, he’s lowered the gun and put his other hand over his heart. The on-screen text says “Detective Jeon’s heart is attacked.”

12:55 - JM and JK switch roles so JM is the detective. He hits JK over the head with a book. JK has basically no visible reaction, but JM has clearly flustered himself. 

Note: To explain my reasoning for these originally not being here - if you look at the other skits in this ep, they are all accusing each other of doing things to ARMY’s hearts and being weirdly flirty with each other. Like, this police station has some serious sexual harassment issues all around! That said, the vibes are unique with jikook and, upon rewatch, I came to agree with y’all that the above should’ve been included. 19:30 - Alternate version of the sketch where Jimin and JK have a dance battle that ends in both of them being put in the jail cell and told to dance.

BEHIND  0:58 - Jimin flirt-ily calls out "I'm bored; play with me, Detective" (presumably to JK since they're scene partners).  Note: Adults saying they "played" with each other is a common way to describe hanging out in Korean and doesn't necessarily have the sexual connotations it does in English. 

4:08 - Jimin stares at JK as he does squats

Ep 13 "The Spy Who Returned Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 2)

The ones where they play games at an indoor water park

1:00 - Jimin does an exaggerated running motion and JK slaps him to make him stop, which JM finds funny

1:43 - JM has his arm around JK 

6:00 - JK jokingly(?) tells JM his wet hair looks cool

11:12 - JM calls JK their team's ace and they whisper about who he should call out from the other team 

Ep 14 "The Spy Who Returned Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

16:04 - JM jokingly hits JK for getting the answer super wrong and then they go down the waterslide together. (Note: I've seen some jikook-ers claim JK messed up on purpose so the game wouldn't end and he'd get to ride with Jimin, but I'm not sure there's actual evidence to support that theory.)

The moment that led to the picture below isn’t in the ep or the BEHIND, but I raised the episode’s KM score a full point for it

Ep 15 "The Spy Who Returned Part 3" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

TW for this ep: 5:14 - during the confessions game, Jin tells Jimin that whenever Jimin asks if he put on weight, Jin wants to say he looks like a pig. Jimin claims to not be upset after, but looks like he's going to cry and seems off for a while. Then, at 10:45, Jin reiterates that Jimin "got fat." Everyone laughs except JK, who widens his eyes and then starts chewing on his finger.  

6:37 - Despite being on the same team as JK, Jimin joins J-Hope's complaints about JK coming to their room uninvited, saying that JK often brushes his teeth in their room. He accuses JK of buying the exact same toothbrush as Jimin’s and complains that they can’t tell them a part. JK says it wasn't him and then there's a weird cut to sometime later when Jimin is sitting back down again...  Just prior to this, Jimin is looking unhappy as Hobi tells a story about JK seeing him naked, but it’s hard to tell if he’s reacting to that or feeling upset about Jin’s weight comments from the previous round. 

16:02 - Jimin defends Jungkook against accusations that he's the spy

BEHIND 4:30 - Jimin sits on Jungkook's lap and, when he leans over to try to get Jin to give him food, JK puts his hand on JM's hip to steady him

Ep 16 "Snowpark Winter Olympics" (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

The one where everyone plays winter games 

4:35 - When JM and JK are the finalists for the sledding round, JM thanks the viewers for their support. JK asks "what does that make me?" and yells/sings badly, which makes JM laugh. I don’t quite get it, tbh, but they seem to be enjoying themselves

14:50 - JK helps JM get his sled in place

BEHIND 3:02 - JK smiles as he gets pushed towards JM on the ice 

Ep 17 "Arcade Olympics Part 1" (Ep: 2 / JK: 2)

The ones where we are reminded that playing arcade games is more fun than watching people play them

All of this and next episode, whenever they all reshuffle positions, Jimin and Jungkook end up standing next to each other. This happens pretty frequently in Run BTS generally, but it was particularly noticeable in this ep since it's not like they're on the same team or anything...

4:16 - When Jimin does a dramatic DDR finish, JK calls attention to it. JM turns to him and they lock eyes for a second

15:00 - JK cheers Jimin's name when it looks like he's going to win the basketball game 

BEHIND

3:36 - JK & JM play a 4D game together Also, JK has an interesting mark on his neck on his right side that does not appear to be there in the episode itself...

Ep 18 "Arcade Olympics Part 2" (Ep: 2 / JK: 1)

3:30 - JK tries (unsuccessfully) to coach Jimin on the driving game

3:45 - JK stands up for Jimin and says he's getting the hang of the game

14:36 - JM & JK laugh together at RM's failure

19:58 - It's not super clear, but it sounds like JK calls JM "Jiminie" at the end of his sentence

Ep 19 "Strike" (Ep: 2 / JK: 1)

The one where BTS go bowling together and end up bowing down to JK

4:47 - JK shares that he and Jimin used to bowl together

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If there’s anything I’ve missed or that anyone has different interpretations of, I’d love to hear it. 

More episodes coming soon!