#*rn
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me, swigging NyQuil straight from the bottle: this is good
brain: really?
me: gotta write this down, gotta write this down—
#the ninth wave#myfic#theresurrectionist#Jay proceeded to write 1.2k words of basically nothing#god damn it why couldn’t I have written this fic in order#I’m kicking myself en#*rn#batman#bruce wayne#dc#joker#the joker#a/b/o mention#a/b/o tw
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ive just drawn my most beautiful ryuunosuke yet. for a memey injoke with my friends. please enjoy him regardless.

falls to my knees in shame
#ryunosuke naruhodo#my art#tgaa#suggestive#<-I GUESS#im really happy with the coloring. marker roll brush and i are in an enemies to lovers situation en#*rn#im rly happy with his eyes too!! i like to be pretty game accurate with facial proportions but also add my kind of more realismy style#and i think i nailed it this time around#i hope his cheeks look pinchable enough#i DID accidentally make his waist too thin but i dont feel like going back to fix it. i was using myself as an anatomy reference so hes-#-not as fat as i typically like him to be in my art#but rest assured next time im going to draw him chubbier#i do imagine him to be much skinnier precanon thiugh so idk. maybe this is precanon ryu#I FORGOT HIS KENDO BRACE ALSO so yeah. precanon ryuunosuke#forgive me father for i have sinned
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I wish I could say I was cooking but this bitch is RAW
#this is abt my essay#I hate it sm#I hate being given specific limitations guys you are STIFLING me#and I’m like on medications that properly regulate my moods so I can’t even manic episode my way thru it en#*rn#GOD
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Oh HDB we're really in it now
#somehow i know he's the only one who'd get what I'm saying if i were to tell him my feelings tn#*rn#“i don't wanna kms i just wanna die yk. get a do-over on this restart. i fucked this fresh start up”#and then empathy would say some shit about how for a moment two sincere souls witnessed each other amidst all the chaos#and then he'd recommend alcoholism as a cure. or communism#disco elysium#harry du bois#harrier du bois#hdb
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overall aespa r rly killing the kpop game rn they're rly the representative group for 4th gen kpop and rn is their prime they're at the top of their game and their concept has matured in a way where their individual talent and skill set complements it instead of being overpowering and awkward at times they rly might join snsd and exo in the sm hall of fame if they can win more ppl over with bsides and maintain their quality level for a few more years i feel like no one's on their level rn
#aespa#like with the ridiculous popularity of karina's concert solo song not even a solo debut it's clear they have the gp's heart en#*rn#it's also a rly good song and choreo tho so i see why
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friend andy whats the robron playlist youre using youve got me invested i fear.....
yesss CAS YES HAHA YESSSSSSSSSSS
im using this channel, this is the first playlist youll start with :-3 (with its insane thumbnail. dear god)
#also im stealing that image cause literally me these fucking days theyre all i think about. im still not even done...... im start of-2018 r#*rn#robron#emmerdale
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I’ve not been able to watch the new dnp video yet how gay is it 1-10 please lmk lesbians in my phone
#I can watch it tomorrow on my way to work maybe#but I need to know gayness levels en#*rn#ALSO#IS IT TRUE NO MORE IT TAKES TWO????#WHAT IS HAPPENING#phan#dan and phil#amazingphil#dip n pip#phil lester#danisnotonfire#daniel howell#dan howell#dnp#dapg
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You ever play / watch someone play a game that messes you up-
In other news go play/watch someone play What Remains of Edith Finch. I've been thinking about it ever since.
#pixies rambles#what remains of edith finch#ik ive been VISIBLY obsessing over isat en#*rn#but wroef has been buried in my mind enough i Almost had a nightmare (im ok obviously sjfksjdks i woke myself up before it got there)#anyway im tempted to remake SoE arc 1 now tbh-#i can write it better
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Once again bringing to you the thought that Gortash was the serpent in the tree (cuz that man is a snake and slithering wet malice, not just wet malice or malice noooooo it’s gotta be slithering like a snake) and that Durge, in this instance, is little Eve who gained forbidden knowledge (realising she was in fact chilling in a golden cage) and who fell after becoming aware (just how durge fell from grace after learning how to genuinely spare someone).
Also bhaal becoming a god thx to Jergal and Durge being formed from a piece of Bhaals body (or his blood rather) bla bla bla
Do you see why I can’t get rid of this reoccurring thought and how the symbolism just matches.
#also the implications this holds for bhaals plans#which are not actually implications#cuz u know what he does to a failed durge#I actually just realised that part em#*rn#and I am kinda disturbed by it#but it’s also quite poetic#also bhaals children slaying each other#but not particularly cuz they want to#like these 2 guys (u may know em)#named Cain and Abel#… I’m not just imagining these parallels am I#bg3#bg3 spoilers#enver gortash#durgetash#bg3 durge#yeah the religious crisis is strong with this one#on so many levels#it’s the fucking creation myth bhaalspawn edition#watch me descent into madness in my own tags - the sequel
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Little fish behaviours while also periodically chucking kibble behind me for the world's wiggliest puppy.
#everyone wants to be involved#I have to find smaller training goals bc the current trial/test goals feel too big en#*rn#rally excellent#cgn#open scent detection#she's got basically everything but I haven't trialed or taken classes in a while#the anxiety around working with my dog in public is eating me#turnpike#rory borealis#gif set
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if not a space for cats why does a cat exactly fit in the space, hmmmmm? check and mate
#phil#the map of France is up bc I need to rip that frame apart to put in a different natgeo map#and i don’t have the fortitude for that en#*rn
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why are mummy and daddy pig having another kid they can barely control peppa
#stupid shit#peppa would burn susie sheep’s house down after the whole whistling thing if she could#george can’t handle being a middle child#also peppa pig has been on for like#a million years#are they running out of ideas#peppa isn’t even the it girl in kids media anymore bluey is all the rage to#*rn
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION MY TWO FAVE YOUTUBERS ARE MARRIED FR AND SEASON 8 OF MY WEEWOOS THIS DAY IS THE BEST
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Like I said, I was stuck in a "functional part" for weeks and weeks and weeks. And experience taught me that it backfires because being in that part means suppressing my emotions and struggles. So I asked our Big Boss Part if he can "open the gates" again to prevent us from collapsing from suppressing. Good side is, I'm more in touch with myself again. The downside is the memories. So much I forgot, and it's coming up again. Big Boss asked me if I can take it. Idk. We have to if we don't want to dissociate from ourselves. Plus, once my surgery is done, my therapist and I want to try EMDR. I'm looking forward to this. He is the only one who ever heard my story this raw. And he made me realize how many people looked away. Like, our Main Abuser had a room specific for the abuse. A whole damn abuse room. This couldn't go unnoticed. His wife just looked away but she had to know. So many people knew 🙃
#personal posts#tw abuse#this fucks with my brain#i need to go on a walk for my mental health rb#*rn#i'm in the safest place you can be in order to remember#my support system is 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻#so i'll be fine
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turning my wretched gaze from my usual targets (yuuji and junpei) to a new one (megumi)
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