#*worries I'm just oversharing*

[katsy-kitty]

tfw you haven't been here in months(?) and you don't know how anything works anymore and who's still here

I am still in this world, by the way

[desperatepleasures]

eggpreg is one of those kinks where it's like. well I'm not NOT into it. but also my job has kind of ruined it for me bc if I think about it too long my brain will have thoughts like like "what if conrart weller got eggbound"

[epicqtefail]

oh no. really terrible animatic idea. im gonna have to do it.

[pflanzidiezimmerpflanze]

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[reitziluz]

this september has been absolutely cursed so far. back to back misfortunes and setbacks.

the funniest one (or well, the one i can't help but laugh about) is how my new doc at the health center was gravely worried over my hemoglobin count. surely it is a sign my hrt dose is too high and all my organs are going to melt!

i have just recently graduated from the trans hrt specialty clinic after a long time of monitoring my hemoglobin and figuring out a dose that actually keeps me just above the lower threshold of the clinical range i'm aiming for. they figured my blood is just Like That as a genetic thing. the only time in my life i've had a hemoglobin count within the reference ranges is the few years when i ate mostly vegan and donated blood regularly. i was told by a school nurse at fifteen that i should donate blood when i turn 18 because my blood is so thick.

like it's p likely i was a bit dehydrated during that latest blood draw too. the doc needs to chill. there were much more worrying things in the results than the hemoglobin. stuff that's the actual reason i went to get the tests done.

but my blood being thick and rich like a luxurious vampire delicacy never fails to make me laugh

[druidx]

Guh. So my everything creative is dead in the water for the moment, because I had dental surgery and now my life stops around 20:00...

[anouri]

this is probably tmi but i'm already oversharing atm anyway might as well continue i could write an essay on how important kyd!regulus is to me if only because of the representation of someone who tried to come out and was simply told "no" and shoved right back into the closet

[magentagalaxies]

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[madamescarlette]

You ever have to be like, "no babe you're not bone-breakingly heart-rendingly sad, you just had less than five hours of sleep"? Yeah.

[artekai]

Feeling real hopeless in this holiday tonight ngl

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[daz4i]

see i really wanna do nsfw ask games but i don't wanna do em on my sideblog bc. i have 80 followers there and many of them are dead blogs. but also do i really wanna expose myself on my main blog like that

[mjn-air]

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[iguessitsjustme]

So we are halfway through Ghost Host Ghost House and this show is amazing. It’s healing me in a way I didn’t expect. I lost someone close to me last month and I am still processing that and the last scene of the episode this week really hit me and it hit me hard. I normally don’t post really personal things on here, but I really just need to say how amazing this show is and how I very much needed this show right now.

Kawin has gone through a tremendous loss already when he lost his best friend. And then his family who he came to see loved him so much that they came back after they died. They were so worried about him that they came back. And they hid that they died because I’m assuming they know the grief and loss he’s already experiencing and how much he must be hurting and they don’t want to add onto that pain.

And then there’s Pluem. Sweet, darling Pluem. Who is so terrified of ghosts, but who is so broken that his father didn’t come back for him. Who’s father died at the same time and the same place as Kawin’s family and who died for the same reason. But he’s not back. And Pluem is so alone in his grief. His sister is in the hospital and his dad is gone and it’s all so recent too. And suddenly he’s alone but he has to keep living. He needs to go to work and make money and to do so he needs to still be his usual friendly and cheerful self. But when he hears that Kawin has his family and he doesn’t, it breaks him. He can’t even be angry at the family who were only on that road because they were worried about See-nam. He can’t be mad at Kawin because it’s not Kawin’s fault they came back and his dad didn’t. But the sheer pain and agony of seeing the return of lost loved ones when yours didn’t come back. When all you want is to see them again so desperately that you go and you plead with the universe to give you something. Just one reason. Just one thing that you can hold on to when you have nothing else. And Pluem absolutely broke me at the end of this episode because I get it. All too much right now. And I’m sure so many other people watching get it too. It hurts.

But the healing comes with knowing that despite his father not being there, he was definitely loved. He talked about his father with such fondness when telling Kawin how his dad prepared food for him as a kid. He’s been actively talking with the police to find out what happened and he wouldn’t have done that had he not been loved. The healing comes with knowing that though they were countries apart, Kawin’s family loved him so much they returned from the dead to make sure he was okay. The healing comes when you realize that despite it all, Pluem and Kawin found each other. The healing comes when you realize that the love that each dying family member felt for those they left behind is not gone, it is just reshaped into something new. Pluem and Kawin have found their new love and while it is laden with grief and the pain and sorrow of loss, it is still love and it is still there for them when they need it.

[technologyvoid]

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[steponmepinkjun]

How bout now?

Honestly the mood rn is happy spoopy season we love spoopy season the mood this month is 50% excitement bc I am finally scheduling my uterus-deletus surgery woohoo cannot fucking WAIT to yeet this goddamn useless organ out of my body, I don't need her she's giving us nothing, not only thta but I can't wait to not have to worry about being denied my meds since they can cause birth defects bc the US is now a forced birth hellstate, gonna fuckin YEET this bitch n be done w her 10evr I'm so fucking happy I cried at my Dr's appt ufhwufjahdn and but also mood 50% trepidation bc I am trying to write fic (NOBODY PERCIEVE ME EVEN U DONT PERCIEVE ME AS I TYPE THIS I AM RETIRED FROM FIC FOREVER AND I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID I WOULD NEVER WRITE FIC OF THE BOYFIES. I STILL MEAN IT, LOOK AWAY, I AM NOT WRITING BOYFIE FIC I am attempting to write boyfie fic) but like legitimately. This is my publicish coming out as being like going on five months sober lmfao bleh 🤪 hot girl shit 🤪 jfhwjdueiaj and tbh doing creative stuff is a lot harder now than it used to be, drunk me had soooo much creative genius she was so funny n so glam omg but like also she's dead bc I literally don't miss her so 🤷🏻‍♀️ OVERSHARE OVERSHARE OVERSHARE JGHWBFHRJAUFNSUHFNSJS thank u for asking my little kumquat