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#... correcting himself and the next day i told him that really sucked especially from him and he later told me i should have been nicer...
larryrickard · 4 months
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i had a dream that i made little cards that say "THEY!" on them that i handed out to people at work who got my pronouns wrong, immediately after they got it wrong. and in smaller text (or on the back) it said "i don't want an apology, i want you to do better" or "don't say you're sorry, DO BETTER" and ..... i kind of want to do it. maybe i'll get some moo cards made lmao
various scenarios included:
me slamming it down on a desk in front of them.
instead i had stickers, would slowly peel one off while they watched, and stick it on it on them.
handing out a quarter sheet piece of paper based on the 'i caught being good' tags we'd get in kindergarten which said 'i got caught misgendering hallie/my coworker'. it would have their name and date on it and a giant 🙁 face. i had them as a pad of paper and would hold up a finger to say 'wait a second', dramatically pull it out of my back pocket, take my pen out of another pocket, slowly fill it out in front of them, and hand it to them while staring them in the eyes.
getting a whiteboard for the outer side of my cubicle wall that said '[days] since i was misgendred' (with a bonus by saying 'last offender: [name]'
i also dreamt that i got into trouble for it because i was making people feel bad and was 'creating a hostile work environment'. i was just like.... okay and how do you think i feel? and my boss shut up real fuckin quick. dunno if that would be the case irl but if that does happen i can only dream.
#tired of the people who say 'i'm trying but i'm going to make mistakes'#ok sure i definitely mess up sometimes too but when it's not even close to 50/50 let alone merely uncommon ............. fuck you#what's sad is it's all people i like and it hurts so much#in the dream it the cards also said something about how i'm not a girl. not a lady. not a woman. stop saying that word to me ...#... in plural when i'm with female coworkers. about half the time i say 'not a lady' and only about half the time it's acknowleged#or that one who constantly posts female-empowering images on ig which are alienating bc it's clearly very binary#and getting comments like 'well it applies to you to!!!' why bc i have a pussy? fuck off#and she'll sometimes say 'thank you for your patience' (what patience) or 'have patience with me' (no.)#i've also thought of holding up my name tag in their faces bc my previous boss had it specially made for me#it's got my name position and pronouns#same boss tho..... he was REALLY consistent about using my pronouns but one day used she/her three times in a row before eventually...#... correcting himself and the next day i told him that really sucked especially from him and he later told me i should have been nicer...#... about it. i was PISSED. i said 'well then how should i have said it?' i don't even remember his answer i just know i wanted to go...#... off on him SO BADLY bc he said it 'hurt his feelings'. well too fucking bad bc every time i'm misgendered it makes me want to...#...die inside a little and feels like at the very least a tiny punch to the gut but that felt like being stabbed esp since it was a new hir#he also said 'ok but i corrected myself' yeah AT THE END after doing it THREE TIMES and that's not the point here#anyway lol this dream definitely stirred up shit unfortunately but i'm serious when i say i might actually have these made#like both my internal email and external emails have my pronouns in them (i had to campaign for this btw so thank you me)#but i recently added my own custom signature with 'they/them' in it that has a link about using pronouns correctly#me#lgbtq#nonbinary
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coolingrosa · 5 days
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Honestly about nightmare....it upset me quite a bit how he just didn't at all understand why Killer was acting out like this. It felt so obvious? Like with Dust showing up and Killer acting out in response to it....Unless this is a common occurrence? I am really wondering what nightmare thought about this, if he even tried to read Killer and his behaviour or perhaps ask Dust about the relationship between the two. Did he just not think anything about it? Just assume "oh its a kid throwing a tantrum, it'll pass"? Man i'd rly like to know it from his perspective. Maybe he is used to ppl throwing tantrums, considering I am pretty sure error flips out a lot too. I guess the problem hereby lies with the fact error is an immortal and an adult and killer,.,,is not. and nightmare just simple doesn't distinguish the two properly.
But honestly I think nightmare should have known better than to snap at Killer ToT..... I believe that him snapping did ultimately the most damage, error just kinda added a bit more salt to it to be put it simple. After all Killer favoured Nightmare obviously a lot more than Error, he was like a parent figure for him basically. So Nightmare snapping would mean a lot more than what Error says. I don't like how error told Killer that advice though, he basically just told him to "suck it up", in the pretense of "caring" for nightmare and not wanting to see him upset. It feels wrong to say that error cares though, because of how he is STILL stuck in the past. It almost feels like he is talking and giving advice to Killer more for himself than for nightmares sake.
Both error and nightmare are so inexperienced with mortals and so fucking mentally fucked up themselves, I doubt they will act any different unless someone who is a mortal corrects them...And I honestly thought Dust would do it? At one point it felt like he knew why Killer did it, but then it felt like he did not?
ultimate question however: how will nightmare react to Killers change? I wonder if alarm bells will ring or if he will just think that Killers "phase" finally passed. And I fear it'll be the latter.... So sorry for the long ass essay, I have SO many questions AND IT IS SO HARD TO TELL WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND HOW THIS MESS OF A MAKE-SHIFT FAMILY IS GOING TO DEVELOPE.....
You’re analysis is so wonderful and definitely the mixed emotions I wanted to give. Especially since good and evil doesn’t exist in Roseverse, just people and their actions. A lot of my YouTube and tiktok dragged on Dream solely for a while due to the limited knowledge, so chapter four was a big drop as it showed just how out of depth and horrible Nightmare and Error could be as well. I’m gonna try to answer each part of this the best I can without revealing too much!
1. Nightmare is used to Killer acting out, which happened a lot in the pilot, so he doesn’t put two and two together that these moments are connected- especially since Killer has never been put in a situation around him to show that he ALSO has jealousy issues as well as self esteem issues. For a while it was just them and sometimes Error in the castle, which Killer never showed an act of jealously towards- only distrust.
2. Nightmare’s perspective won’t be shown a lot in the next Bad Sanses chapter unfortunately, so I’ll try my best to explain his reasoning here. Don’t take it as a defense. I may explain characters and their actions, but at the end of the day, Nightmare is a adult and has a responsibility.
Nightmare’s main flaw (and I can now finally state this) is that he doesn’t care for people who are not under his radar. Saying he doesn’t know much about negative emotions is redundant, but his abilities to help with them have long since faded ever since the loss of Ink. Killer clearly is the product of a teenager with intense mental health issues, and Nightmare never got to see Ink as a bratty teenager. Killer is the only example around him and so he quite frankly sucks at it and sees his outbursts as…well…tantrums. He can’t fully see Killer for what he is and constantly sees him as a child due to his own age, and that belittling makes Killer’s emotions and rightful feelings come across as childish to Nightmare.
The mention of Error is also correct. Nightmare is used to emotional and violent outbursts since he was thirteen- especially from those close to him. Error and Nightmare as children weren’t healthy and Error was an abusive friend. I will always state that. However, though Error improved his ways, Nightmare never fully blamed him for such things and therefore never saw anything wrong with the people he loved lashing out and being hurtful. It’s normal for him- and also not smth to be addressed in his eyes. However, Killer is a child and as the adult, Nightmare has a responsibility to step in and correct his behavior with disciplinary action rather than passiveness. But, of course, he doesn’t until he finally snaps
3. Yeahhh I will say what Error told Killer didn’t bother him too much until he made the comment about Dust. Killer is far too use to the verbal abuse Error shoots at him that it rolled off of him and he was more annoyed Error was still in the room. Error and Killer just aren’t and will never be close enough for their fights to leave any impact. Nightmare, though? After finding out truly what Nightmare is capable of and then being told that? Oh, yeah, Killer is crushed.
4. This was one of the few times Error tried to actually help in his own way. Error doesn’t word himself well, even when being vulnerable. He hoped Killer would understand it as “there’s no need to lash out as ur already here and cared for. So just stop hating urself and others and finally feel secure. “ Was it not so great advice and easy to be misunderstood from what he actually meant? Yea. Did he just COMPLETELY miss the mark on mental health and the struggles of slowly getting over the fear of abandonment and the steps it takes to FEEL that security? YEAH LMAO. But Killer definitely misunderstood him as well. And Error also misunderstood something about Dust as well. I’ll expand more on that in my last point.
5. Dust may be smart, but he can’t put together a case without solid evidence and explanation and due to him not being there from the start, he doesn’t truly understand why Killer is acting like he is. He knows it has something to do with Nightmare, but what that actually is? He can’t know. I believe this won’t be a shock, but Dust does think Killer was being abused by Nightmare and therefore becomes like a guard dog. When Killer jumps him, that ideas gets thrown out the window and Dust is left utterly confused on the motives. He doesn’t hate him, though. He’s just confused, and hurt.
6. And unfortunately, Dust isn’t empathetic enough to be the one to truly understand things. Wonder who will be, though…
7. I cant say too much as that’s a chapter seven thing, but I will say it’s where Gus the immortal frog comes in (Killer’s pet) and given by Nightmare. I’m sure you can put two and two together as to why Nightmare, who is clueless about everything teenager related, is stooping to giving the apathetic Killer a pet 😭
8. Almost forgot this part but Killer is an unreliable narrator. He will always be, and the next bad Sanses chapter will see that, as it won’t be in his perspective solely. Everything he sees and thinks is unreliable. For example, when they reach the au and Dust is slowly blinking at him while Killer demands to know why he came too, Killer takes it as a threat. What if Dust actually doing? Blinking at him like he’s a angry cat bc Dust doesn’t understand emotions and defeats to animal behaviors to help soothe this teenager LMAO
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luxyue · 6 months
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knife boots — part iii.
xiao x reader, figure skating au
masterlist | previous | next
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➥ NEW VOCAB ❝ toe loop ❞ one of the easier jumps, a forward to backwards turn complete with picking your toe into the ice and landing on the same edge.
iii. facebook but for young people
[tw: minor mention of an ed in the middle of this chapter]
"You're so mean."
"I warned you."
"You're an absolutely, positively, awful person."
"Yeah, well, you knew that already."
Xiao had actually agreed to help with your training, much to your surprise, despite being reluctant. Now...you regret ever making such a request. Xiao is the devil reincarnated, and you'll swear by it until the day you die. He's been making you go back and forth around the rink for three whole hours, doing nothing but doubles. DOUBLES. If you didn't seriously need his help, you would've told him to fuck off sometime during the first thirty minutes.
"Your technique is seriously fucked, did you know that?"
Insanity.
"Mhm, the entire non-Snezhnayan skating community loves to remind me," you grin. He's been attempting to correct you on pre-rotation, under-rotation, and over-rotation all throughout the past few hours.
"Seriously, what did they teach you over there?" he says incredulously. He looks like he's on the verge of tearing his hair out. Or eyes. Or both.
"Um, you know, the basics. Jump, rotate, land. Not much else," you reply honestly. You had built your skills up under the idea that landing jumps was always the most important thing. If you could do that, why bother with anything else? Who wouldn’t choose that over falling?
He groans before taking a deep breath, trying desperately to calm himself. He clearly wasn’t amused. "I really don’t know why I ever agreed to help you."
You shrug. "I'm just different."
One excruciating session later, Zhongli stops whatever he's been doing in his office for who knows how long (seriously though, he's been in there all day since you started working with Xiao) and begins your training session.
Saved from the devil at last.
...
"I know I say this a lot, but you actually look like shit right now."
"Xingqiu, I swear to god—"
It's lunchtime, and you're hanging out with Xiangling, Chongyun, and Xingqiu in the kitchens. These three have basically roped you into their group, and this has been your routine for the past few weeks. Not that you mind—Xiangling's cooking is too good to resist.
"...Which god?" Chongyun asks.
"Hm?" You turn to look at him with confusion.
"You know, like there's Morax, Barba—" Xingqiu starts.
You cut him off. "I know who the archons are, thank you very much." Although, that did raise a good question—which nation had your allegiance now?
Xiangling looks at you, unsure, before deciding to go through with her question. "Do you like Liyue better than Snezhnaya?"
You raise an eyebrow at her...because there was no correct answer other than, yes, of fucking course.
"I would choose Liyue over Snezhnaya a million times over," you say with finality, leaving no room for doubt.
Xiangling smiles back. "Aw, well, I'm glad you're here. Ooh—food's ready! Jade parcels for everyone!"
She dishes the food out, and your mouth literally starts watering.
"Xiangling, I love you."
"Hey! You're always annoyed with me, but she cooks some food and all of a sudden you love her?" Xingqiu exclaims.
You laugh. "Xiangling doesn't tell me I suck at skating."
"I would never!" she rushes to defend herself.
Xingqiu accepts defeat, muttering "fair."
"I can't believe you guys have a whole kitchen here, actually. And it's stocked like crazy. And free to use."
"...Did your old rink not have a kitchen?" Chongyun wonders.
"I mean, it was a nice rink, and really big—but no, they would never have a kitchen."
"Y/N, what did you mean by free to use?" Xiangling wonders, still hung up on your words.
"Um...well, we weren't exactly allowed to eat all the time, especially not before competition, so any food at the rink was locked away for the coaches only to access."
You're met with three blank stares.
Then you're tackled by three very big hugs.
"That's awful, Y/N. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't allowed to access food," Xiangling says sympathetically.
These three are way too nice. "You're gonna make me cry, guys."
"Pfft, we love you too. To new beginnings!" Xingqiu pulls out his phone and snaps a selfie of you four.
"Chongyun, give me your phone, I'm gonna post this on your account since you have more followers."
Okay, they're way too nice with the occasional exception for Xingqiu.
...
Childe is bored, plainly put. Bored out of his mind.
Imagine his surprise when he gets a notification that Chongyun, that up-and-coming junior skater (who never, ever, posts, by the way), has posted a picture of himself, another skater from Liyue whose name he can't remember, a girl with dark hair cut in a bob...and you.
Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Fuck me.
When he receives a hastily written email from Dottore, he briefly contemplates jumping out of a window.
He contemplates for too long. Dottore sends him another email, yelling at him through the screen to get to his office.
Well shit.
You’ve done it, darling. Sentenced me to my imminent death.
The walk to Dottore's office is a slow one. Very slow.
Childe takes the stairs instead of the elevator. He also makes sure to take the long route, going down every hallway possible before finally arriving at Dottore's doorstep.
And fuck, he can't even knock on the door before it swings open. Curse Dottore and his stupid technology.
"Childe. Come in."
Someone's in a mood.
"Heyy, Doctor! What can I do for—"
"Explain this." Dottore pulls up a screenshot of Chongyun's post.
"It's an Instagram post. Like, you know, Facebook, but for young—"
"I know what an Instagram post is. What I want to know is why Y/N L/N is in this particular Instagram post. With Chongyun and Xingqiu. In Liyue."
Childe laughs nervously. "Well...sounds like you know as much as I do, Doctor."
Dottore looks at Childe, indignantly. "She was your responsibility. Not only that, she seemed to think of you as a true friend. I'm sure you, of all people, would know why she is in this picture, with the Liyue skaters, at the Liyue rink?"
Childe blinks. Time to play dumb. "....Probably because she's in Liyue?"
That was definitely not the right thing to say, because Dottore seems ready to snap. "Childe. Whether you were friends with this girl or not, she is a traitor now. An enemy. We cannot let her go on like this; one word and she could destroy our reputation. Your loyalties lie with us. So, do tell me. What do you know about her being in Liyue?"
"I don't know."
Childe is a lot of things, but he's no snitch.
Dottore's not dumb enough to believe him, of course, but he sighs.
"If you say so. However, I'm sure you know what will happen if that is proven otherwise."
"I know that, Doctor. But in this case, I genuinely don't. Have a good day."
Y/N, please, please, please keep yourself out of trouble.
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mypoisonedvine · 4 years
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vignettes of a bond || alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader
I originally wrote this in two parts for my sleepover but after I realized how long it accidentally became, I've reformatted it, added/changed a few things, and made into a oneshot!
word count: 3.1k
warnings: smut, angst, knotting, violence
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June 2nd, 1943, 11:43 p.m., James Barnes’ bedroom
“I wanna do it, before I go,” he whispered against your skin. “But I know it’s wrong. It’s too cruel.”
“No, please,” you whimpered, “I want it. I want your mark.”
Bucky pulled back for a moment and you examined your Alpha’s face carefully, knowing it might be the last time for a long time. “I couldn’t bond to you and then leave you. It wouldn’t be fair… you deserve to find somebody who can stay, and be with you, and protect you.”
“All I want is you,” you whispered. “Please, Alpha… bite me.”
You saw him hesitate for a moment before he leaned in and sucked at your neck, building the anticipation before he finally sunk his teeth into your skin and you cried out, one single tear rolling down your cheek. “Mine,” he growled against your skin as he lapped at the healing wound, “my Omega. Forever.”
“Yours, only yours,” you agreed eagerly.
It wasn’t the first time Bucky had taken you, but that night he really and truly claimed you, left you a desperate begging mess, stretched out over his knot as he filled you over and over.
The next morning, you were still sore between your legs as well as on your new mark, and it took everything in you to be strong as you saw him off at the train station, waving goodbye and praying that your Alpha would return to you soon.
November 9th, 1943, 2:24 p.m., undercover SHIELD facility
“You promised Bucky you’d take care of me,” you reminded him with a little smile, wiping a tear from your cheek.
“I know,” Steve relented, “but we both know I can’t do that. Not in this state. But maybe I can protect you if I do this. Maybe I can protect my country. I owe it to everyone, especially Bucky, to try.”
You nodded. “But I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too. Come see me before I ship out for good, alright?”
“Of course,” you agreed.
December 27th, 1943, 8:32 a.m., your front porch
“You’re lying,” you gasped as you shook your head. “You’re wrong, no, it’s not true.”
“It is,” Steve promised as tears welled in his eyes, “I’m so so sorry, I saw it myself, I had to watch him fall…”
“It’s not true! He’s not dead!”
“I know he loved you so much. He talked about every day, he couldn’t wait to come home to you,” Steve remembered, choking up noticeably. “But he won’t. He’s gone.”
“You don’t understand, I know, okay? I know.”
“You’re in shock, I understand, it’s hard to lose your mate—”
“You’re a beta, you wouldn’t understand,” you dismissed; sure, he looked like an alpha now, but it didn’t make a difference. “Omegas, we know when our Alpha dies, we feel it, it kills us. He’s far away, but he’s still there, I still feel him!”
Steve held you as you sobbed, your body crumpling into his arms. Sometimes you thought maybe he held you too tight on accident because he was still getting used to his new strength; other times you thought he did it on purpose.
February 3rd, 1944, 12:00 p.m., undercover SHIELD facility
“Even when I had nothing, I had Steve,” you recalled shakily, “and now he’s gone too.”
“Is that why you’re volunteering?” Agent Carter asked you. “Because you’d rather sleep for a hundred years than live without your mate and your best friend?”
“I’m volunteering because my mate and my best friend died for SHIELD,” you corrected firmly, “and if I’m not willing to also, then I’m admitting I think they went to waste.”
“Steve told me you didn’t think Bucky was dead,” Peggy remembered.
You winced. “I’m not sure. But I know he’s not coming home again. I came here to give whatever I could to help find him… I was asked to participate in a cryogenics research study. If it helps him, then I’ll do it.”
She was about to get up, apparently satisfied with your final interview, but you stopped her.
“On one condition,” you added. “If James Barnes is found, alive or dead, wake me up to see him.”
She nodded, stepping out of the room and leaving you alone again.
May 8th, 2012, SHIELD headquarters
“Can you hear me?”
You slowly blinked awake, your vision taking a moment to catch up with your mind. You saw tubes coming out of your arms; you saw Steve above you, looking like the day you saw him last.
“Did you find Bucky?” you asked instantly. Why else would they wake you up?
“No,” Steve answered, seemingly a bit disappointed that that was your first and only question.
“Then put me back to sleep,” you demanded.
“It’s been 68 years,” he told you. “You’ve slept for 68 years. It’s time to wake up.”
And you did, more than you ever wanted to, because you realized you couldn’t feel him anymore. Your Alpha was gone. Worse, he probably died while you were asleep; he probably died alone.
One more time, like he had 68 years ago, Steve held you while you sobbed.
August 1st, 2014, 2:11 a.m., Avengers compound, Steve Rogers’ quarters
You ran into Steve’s room barefoot and still in your pajamas, barreling through the door and right into his bed.
“Steve, I feel him!” you rushed.
“What?” he groaned sleepily, looking up at you as he blinked in confusion.
“I feel him again, he’s alive,” you explained. “I know it. He’s weak… he’s hurting… but he’s there.”
“That’s impossible,” Steve shook his head. “It’s been too long, he would’ve died of old age anyways.”
“Don’t you want to believe it? Don’t you want to think he’s out there?”
“Do I want to think he’s alone and I didn’t save him?” Steve hissed. “No, I can’t say that I particularly do!”
“But we still can, Steve, we just have to find h—”
But before you could finish, the feeling left you, and you were just half of something again.
“Oh,” you breathed.
“He’s gone again?” Steve realized.
You nodded, biting your lip as it started to quiver. He sighed and pulled you into a hug. “If I could just see his body, and know it was over,” you whispered, “if I could just bury him, have a funeral…”
“We’ll have one,” Steve decided, “after this mission. We’ll put him to rest. He deserves that, and so do you.”
You nodded into his shoulder. It shattered you into a million pieces but it was still the better option, to try to let him go in whatever small way you could. He would always, always, always be your Alpha, nothing could change that, but a funeral would at least bring some closure.
That would have to wait until after your next mission though… and it was going to be a big one: tracking the elusive Winter Soldier.
August 3rd, 2014, 1:14 p.m., Lower East side
You were a few blocks away, helping civilians escape the firefight, when you felt it.
For one impossibly brief moment, you felt him, stronger than you had in nearly 80 years. He was here.
You instantly got up and ran like you’d never run before, finding the Soldier and Steve locked in a brutal showdown— but his mask was gone now, and you nearly fell to your knees at the sight of him.
“Bucky!” you yelped, but you knew he wasn’t there or you would’ve felt his presence. Your Alpha was somewhere underneath the shell that wore his face, and you needed to find him.
You ran forward just as Steve made a break for it, getting to him just in time to stand between the Soldier and his mission.
“Alpha, please,” you whimpered, clutching at his chest. A metal hand backhanded you to the ground.
“Out of my way, Omega,” he growled, stepping over you, but you grabbed at his ankles even when he tried to kick you away.
“My mark,” you explained hastily, pulling your shirt down some to make sure it was visible. “It’s yours. Do you remember? You gave me this. This is your mark on me.”
He stared down at you, seeming to be contemplating it, and you scrambled back to your feet and faced him.
“I still feel you,” you whispered. “I knew you were alive, I knew you’d come back to me. I could feel you, right here,” you explained as you took his hand and placed it on your chest. “Could you feel me? Did you know I was waiting for you all this time?”
His eyes were watering but he still seemed confused— stunned, more specifically, as you placed your hand on his chest.
“I’ll always be yours, Bucky. I’ll always be your Omega, no matter where you are.”
A stun gun took you down, an array of masked men appeared, and before he could really see you for what you were, he was dragged away and taken to be erased again.
August 3rd, 2014, 9:04 p.m., Avengers compound, medical bay
“I can’t believe we let them get away,” Steve lamented, resting his face in his hands. “I can’t believe they took him again…”
“They’ll be back,” you promised sternly. “They’re going to figure out what I am to him. They’re going to realize I could break his programming. And they’re going to come for me.”
“And when they do?” Steve pressed.
“We’ll be ready. And I’ll get my Alpha back.”
August 3rd, 2014, 9:04 p.m., temporary HYDRA operations facility
"The woman on the bridge... the Omega..." Bucky mumbled. "She knew me... she had my mark."
"No she didn't."
He furrowed his brow. "She showed me..."
Pierce sighed, glancing over to the HYDRA scientist who looked back at him sternly.
"She's too dangerous to be left alive," the man sighed, shrugging in his lab coat. "We can't deprogram a bond like that."
"We'll take care of her," Pierce promised.
Bucky launched from the chair, snapping his restraints like paper. "Touch her and I'll fucking kill you!" he bellowed, tackling his handler to the ground.
Pierce just laughed as another scientist jabbed Bucky with a needle, dosing him with something strong enough to kill any other man but just enough to knock out a super soldier. Pierce stood up and dusted himself off as he watched Bucky go limp and be lifted back into his chair.
"I can see the fight in your eyes, Soldier," he taunted as he leaned into his face. "I know you really would kill me, if you could. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, right? But don't worry about your mate, we'll make it quick and painless. Hey, maybe beforehand me and a few of the other Alphas will show her a good time, poor thing's been without her mate for 70 years... I bet she's raring to go."
Bucky's arm twitched as his eyes started to fall shut, a tear falling down his blank and motionless face.
"Wipe him," Pierce instructed to the scientist, turning and walking away as the electric whirr of the machine charging up filled the room.
August 11th, 2014, 3:53 p.m., SHIELD headquarters
Steve was impressed with how accurate and imminent your prediction was; HYDRA was hot on your trail and desperate to eliminate the biggest threat to their Asset. Knowing they were coming made it easier, but it was still a brutal fight.
You and Steve tried to stay together, but they were smart, they used the perfect bait to lure you away.
"Tell me where he is," you demanded from the HYDRA agent as you held a blade to his neck, "then I'll kill you."
"Isn't it supposed to be 'or I'll kill you'?" he frowned.
You shook your head. "Not the way I operate."
Opposite to the reaction you were expecting, he grinned widely. "He's here."
Your heart stopped.
"On the roof. He's here to kill you."
You dropped the knife and ran straight for the stairwell, ascending them like they were nothing and calling out for your Alpha.
You found him there, waiting, gun trained on you. Raising your hands in surrender, you yelled to him again.
"Bucky," you called across the windy roof, eyes nearly blinded by the bright afternoon sun. "Alpha."
"I'm not who you think I am," he yelled back. "I'm not your Alpha."
It hurt to hear it in his voice, but you knew it wasn't him. Cautiously, you stepped closer. "Before you left, you told me you didn't want to mark me and leave me behind," you recalled. "But I wanted it. I wanted to be bonded to you more than I'd ever wanted anything."
He could clearly see you were coming closer, he even tightened his finger over the trigger of his weapon, but he was waiting. You kept walking to him, slowly.
"I've never regretted it," you continued, "not even when I thought you were dead, not even when I had to spent a lifetime-- more than that-- apart from you."
Finally you were face to face, and you stepped closer until his gun was pressed right into your chest.
"You can shoot me now and I still won't regret it," you promised. "I love you."
Shakily, he lowered his weapon. "Omega..." he breathed.
"Your Omega."
He pulled you into him and you sobbed as you felt him come to life in your arms-- the real him, your Alpha, your Bucky. He held you close and breathed against the top of your head and it was like a dream coming true decades after you'd forced yourself to let it go.
But you'd never given up. And now you had found him again.
Agents started to come onto the roof and Bucky spun the two of you around, firing with his right hand and using the left, metal arm as a shield for you.
He carried you and you didn't even know where he was taking you, but it didn't matter. In his arms, you were home.
August 12th, 1:03 a.m., Avengers compound, your quarters
You hadn't stopped coming or crying for at least an hour. Bucky had all but split you open on his knot all night and he didn't show any signs of stopping.
He apparently intended to make up for lost time. And you'd lost a lot of time.
"Just one more, I know you can give me one more," he groaned furiously rubbing your clit as his knot began to swell again.
You could give him anything, as long as he asked for it like that.
You'd lost count of how many times he'd told you to come for him, and how many times you did it immediately.
"I can see how full you are," he whispered as he rubbed your stomach gently. "So much seed in you that your body can't hold it all."
You looked down and yep, you were distinctly bloated from his come alone; it made you a little dizzy to even look at it.
"The idea of you alone during your heats, no one to protect you, it kills me," he explained with a growl. "I won't let you go again. I can't."
"Then don't," you sighed. "Never leave this bed, fill me with everything you have."
"Did anybody ever help you through them? The heats?" he asked. "I wouldn't blame you, they can be so painful... I just need to know so I can make sure you forget about them."
"No, Bucky, never— I never let anyone touch me."
"Steve could've helped you, at least some..."
"He wouldn't have, he loves you too much. And I wouldn't accept anything less than you, ever. You're my Alpha. We're bonded. There's never anyone else."
That didn't seem to satisfy him, his eyes darting away as he swallowed. Your gut sank with the realization he probably wasn't being totally honest about why he asked.
"Your ruts," you gasped. "Were you alone for all of them?"
He shut his lips tighter.
"Bucky, it's okay, just tell me. I was asleep for 70 years, I skipped most of them, but you... you had to live through them all."
"They gave me betas, and omegas," he mumbled, "but I don't... I don't really remember. I know they wanted me to. They threatened to hurt me if I didn't, because they knew I'd go crazy after so many ruts alone, but I can't remember if I really did it. I remember... I remember crying, and begging for you."
"Alpha," you breathed as you felt new tears run over the stains of your old ones. "It's okay. Whatever happened, it's okay now. We're together again. Everything's okay."
You wiped his tear away with your thumb, holding his face tightly, weaving your fingers into his long hair.
"I'll always be your Omega," you promised.
He leaned in closer to you, kissing your cheek before pulling back a little. "It's faded," he whispered as he ran his thumb over the mark on your neck. "The last time I saw it, it was still fresh."
"It's older, sure, but it's stronger than ever, Bucky."
August 14th, 10:12 a.m., Avengers compound, residential area kitchen
Steve's eyes went wide when he came into the kitchen for breakfast and found you there, steeping your tea. "Surprised to see you out of the love nest so soon," he smirked.
"It's been three days, I don't think that counts as soon," you scoffed.
"It does to him," Steve frowned. "He's asleep, isn't he?"
"Yep."
"I know he wouldn't let you out of his sights if he was conscious," Steve chuckled.
At that moment, you heard Bucky call your name and run out into the hall, only a bedsheet covering his groin as he appeared in the doorway. You spun around and smiled when you saw him come running towards you, embracing you with his free arm.
"You should've told me you were leaving, I got scared when I woke up without you," he admitted weakly.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry!"
He pulled back and clutched your face in both his hands. "I'm waking up next to you every morning for the rest of my life, you understand?"
You nodded dutifully. "Yes, Alpha."
"One hand on the sheet, please, Buck?" Steve winced, looking away.
“Whoops,” Bucky groaned, reaching to cover himself as you laughed softly.
“Let’s go back to bed, baby,” you decided quietly, taking Bucky’s (free) hand in yours and waving goodbye to Steve, who was already making his way as far out of earshot as possible.
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sukirichi · 4 years
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pink hearts
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You only ever wanted a job as a babysitter to make ends meet – falling in love was out of the equation – but with the magic presented right in front of you, you weren’t going to push it away.
PAIRINGS. itadori jin x reader
WC. 10.7k+
NOTES. this fic is purely self indulgent, not requested, i wrote this for me so reader is mostly...well, me. okay listen I KNOW toji is the choice dilf but PLEASE daddy jin has my heart and i’m so soft for him like you guys don’t understand. this is my comfort fic now and jin’s made his way on my comfort character list, give this amazing man a chance, he’s amazing and so kind eeeee my heart is going to burst i love him so much lol + oh this is unedited as usual
masterlist !
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The pink-haired man sat across from you, setting down the tray of two coffee mugs on the coffee table before you. He was of regular build, mostly on the lanky side, and his kind eyes peered behind glasses as he smiled at you. “So you’re the babysitter Mr. Gojo recommended?”
You stared at him. Shamelessly. 
Suddenly, your initial plan of impressing your employer by wearing a tight pencil skirt and an old white blouse after the assumption that they would be prissy and had way too much money on their hands felt useless. 
This guy wore a cream sweatshirt and black slacks, clearly happy and comfortable in his own home.
Upon being the subject of your stare, he only smiled awkwardly, clasping his hands in front of himself as he cleared his throat to let you speak.
“Oh!” you suddenly sat up straight, “Yes, yes I am. I’m sorry for staring. I just think you’d be this...young.” And modest.
“I understand. You’re in university, correct?” you nodded, leaning back in his seat, hand scratching the back of his head. His cheeks tinged a slight pink. “And you’re a close friend of Satoru’s, well...It’s not that I don’t trust his judgment or anything, but it’s my first time being a parent – and I’m a single dad, at that – so I hope you don’t mind that I’d like to see how you get along with my son first before I hire you.”
“Oh yeah, no, that’s perfectly fine!”
Satisfied with your answer, Mr. Itadori stood up with a bow, silently gesturing you to follow him down his hall. “Is there anything you’re uncomfortable with, or anything you don’t know much about? Changing diapers, giving the teething products, anything?”
“I’m the eldest in the family, four more hellish sun drops following afterwards. I think I’m good.”
He nodded at your answer, a small smile on his face. “That’s good to know. My last babysitter was the same age as you, but he didn’t know much about handling babies. I mean, neither do I, but a man’s got to learn, you know?” he laughed at himself, unaware that with each passing second, pink heart eyes gazed up at him admirably.
When you both reached a door that was left slighty open, Mr. Itadori lit up, bending down in front of a crib where his baby laid, small hands clutching at his feet. “Yuuji, baby, Daddy’s here. Are you ready to meet your babysitter?”
Your jaw dropped when he finally picked his baby up, the little boy clad in a tiger onesie and sucking on a toy. “Oh my gosh, you’re so adorable, come here!” you were more than glad when his dad laughed and gently passed the baby to you, who only gurgled in laughter when you cooed at him. “Oh, I want to spoil you and give you kisses, how are you this cute?” Well, it made sense he was cute, since his dad was as well. Yuuji made grabby hands at you, to which you happily obliged, leaning down so his tiny fingers could pinck your cheeks.
Unable to help it, you rubbed your cheeks on his touch, making the little boy clap his feet together, eyes bright with all the happiness and innocence in this world. You honestly wanted to cry right then and there.
“Your hands are soooo tiny, my goodness, I love you already! It’s so nice to meet you, Yuuji, you’re such an angel!”
“You like kids, huh?”
“Well, not so much with kids because toddlers have too much energy, but babies,” you gasped once you heard Mr. Itadori’s muffled laughter, greeted by the sight of him hiding his mouth behind his palm. Instantly, you smiled at him nervously, clutching the baby closer to yourself because he was so darn cute.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry if I’m being weird right now, I can’t help it! Your son is so precious!”
“Thank you. He’s the greatest blessing of my life too,” he beamed, turning to his baby with that soft look in his eyes that parents wore so well. “Well, it seems Yuuji really likes you. He’s friendly to everyone but...I’m surprised he’s warmed up to you this fast,” Mr. Itadori bent over to poke his cheek, the baby’s tiny hand wrapping around his dad’s finger. “Yuuji~ don’t forget I’m still your dad, okay? She’s the babysitter – she’s not your mom so don’t be too clingy, alright?”
You stiffened at his words, your eyes flickering back and forth between the baby and him. They had the same eye and hair colour, along with that aura of kindness surrounding them...it was hard to imagine what the mother would be like. Was she as bright and adorable too?
If yes, then this was an entire family of pink hearted strawberries!
“If...if it’s not too much to ask, may I ask where his mom is?”
Much to your surprise, his eyes grew forlorn, though the smile remained on his face. “His mom...is in a much happier place now,” was all he said – and it was enough – that you couldn’t dare ask more.
Mr. Itadori walked out of Yuuji’s room and into the kitchen afterwards, eyes squinting over the neat handwriting on a sticky note on his refrigerator. “Okay, so, I don’t know if Satoru’s told you, but I’m an engineer. I usually just work from home, especially now that I’ve got a baby, but there are still days where I have to go the office for presentations and meetings. I can’t guarantee that the babysitting schedule will be permanent – is it alright if I call you whenever?”
“Yeah, yeah, I mean, other than university, I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”
“That’s good to hear! But wouldn’t this job get in the way of your studies?”
You shook your head, subconsciously pressing closer to the baby instead because he was just so warm and wouldn’t stop tugging at your collar. A part of you was also eager to get this job not only for the baby, but Mr. Itadori intrigued you as well. You knew it was wrong but you had to be honest with yourself, hiding this truth for him instead through a shaky smile.
“No, definitely not! I can just take my studies here – if you won’t mind, of course – and I promise I won’t litter or make a mess or anything. During babysitting hours, Yuuji will be more of a priority than my homework, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
Mr. Itadori hummed to himself, rubbing at his chin. “If that’s the case, then I suppose you’re free to use the study at the end of the hall. There’s a baby camera there that lets you see Yuuji in every room, but if he’s asleep, feel free to use it.”
“Oh wow,” you blinked back in surprise, gently rocking a gurgling Yuuji back and forth. “You didn’t have to do that so uhm, thank you, really, I promise I’ll take care of your son very well!”
“I can see why Satoru recommended you now,” he shook his head with a smile, moving over to the litter of dinosaur stickers onto another list. “Here is a list of the things Yuuji likes and doesn’t like. He’s mostly active in the afternoons when I’ll most likely get called for work, and he’s a mess by then. He really likes playing and cuddles, and he’ll also demand to be carried most of the time otherwise he’ll cry,” he paused as his eyes slid over to you, lips pursed in thought. “I know you’ll do great but...don’t spoil my son too much, okay? I just don’t want him to uh...think that you’re his parent or something. Yuuji gets easily attached like that. If he calls you ‘mama’...please tell me about it, okay?”
“Yes, of course. I know my place, don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” he raised in hands in surrender as he saw your eyes widen with fear. “Being a single parent is just hard, you know? I can’t help but always feel that maybe I won’t be enough for him, and as much as I can, I’d like to let my son he can rely on me at all times.”
“I think you’re a very great father,” you admitted rather shyly, “Your son is really lucky to have you as his parent. I can tell he’s going to be such a sweetheart.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me,” he placed a hand over his heart, then pulled out a business card from the back of his pocket. “Now, here’s my number and my work schedules. You don’t have to drop by during weekends since I’m always here, but I might need you every Wednesdays to Fridays. Can I have your class schedule as well? That way I know when’s the right time to text you if I need something,” Reaching into your bag that had a copy of your schedule, you handed it to him, the strawberry-haired man’s lips growing into a smile as he read over the content. “Well, what do you know? You study engineering too? Computer engineering?”
You winced, memories you’d rather not think of again resurfacing. “Please don’t call me a nerd. I’ve heard that enough already.”
“What’s wrong about being a nerd? I’ve always been a nerd too and I think I’m fine,” you swapped numbers after that, not even giving you enough time to recover from his comment. Not that being a nerd was a huge deal, but people always said it weirdly that you dreaded hat word. Hearing it from him though...it felt like a compliment. “Guess that settles it then. I’ll see you soon?”
Heart elated and spirits soaring into the sky that you actually got the job and the employer was a kind man, you nodded with a bright smile on your face. “Yeah, I’ll come by next week! Thank you so much for trusting me!”
“No, thank you for your service,” he responded back shyly, waving to you as you walked out the door. Not a few moments later, Mr. Itadori ran after you, his cheeks flushed pink from the shrot run. “Wait! Can I have my son back?”
Looking down at the baby in your arms who was too busy sucking on his thumb, your cheeks heated, extending your arms as gentle as you could while Mr. Itadori got his son back. He only laughed at your state, waving it off with a shake of his head. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! It just feels so natural to hold him!”
“You’ll be a good mother someday,” he commented almost absentmindedly. Meanwhile, you couldn’t stop bowing and apologizing with each step backwards, too distracted to notice that your heels dug into a small crack. You yelped as you felt the floor slip beneath you, Mr. Itadori’s instincts kicking in when he easily grabbed your wrist to pull you towards him, your foreheads almost knocking one another’s. “Whoa – watch your step. You could’ve fallen seriously there.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Itadori! I’ll try to be more graceful next time,” you bowed repeatedly, still so ashamed as you tugged your skirt down. “Why the hell did I wear heels anyway? It’s not like this is a law firm.”
“Please,” he smiled at you – and you swore in that moment that things were just going to be different – eyes closed and his whole face lit with light heartedness. “Call me Jin,” taking his son’s hands up, he waved the little arm as you walked out the door, still in a light trance of disbelief. “Say bye-bye, Yuuji!”
Even as you made it back to your bus stop, you still couldn’t get your mind off of the strawberry-haired father and son duo. Their home was just so...bright, you immediately felt safe and comfortable.
As your heart fluttered at the memory of Jin smiling at you, you placed a palm over your heart, willing it to calm down. That couldn’t be good, right?
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“Earth to Y/N!”
You snapped back to life when your friend slapped you on the arm, smiling at her when she only huffed at your dazed out self again. It wasn’t irregular for you to space out like this, and you were more than thankful she was always there to bring you back to reality before you accidentally crossed a street when the lights were green or something.
“Sorry, what?”
“Do you know how many times we had to drag you away because you keep running into poles?” she rolled her eyes, “Sheesh, how would you survive without us? What are you spacing out for anyway?”
“Nothing, nothing. Just thinking about work and all.”
“Speaking of that, how’d the interview go? Was your employer as strict and condescending as the Zenins? The hell happened to those bastards anyway?” “I bet their child is going to grow up sexist or something.”
At the mention of Jin and his baby, your whole self lit up. “My employer is better this time around. He’s only a few years older than us; like five or seven, I think? He’s really nice too and dude, his baby is so. Freaking. Adorable,” you gushed, mimicking the gesture of rocking a baby around with your arms, eyes filled with heart-shaped characters. “Like a freaking strawberry in my arms! He’s so sweet too!”
“You and your attachment to babies,” she scrunched her nose in disgust – always having had an aversion to anyone younger than her. “I’ll never get it.”
“Babies are the best!”
“Yeah, until they drool and throw up on you,” as if the image procured in her mind, your friend shuddered, rubbing her hands up and down her arm to relieve her goosebumps. “I never want to be a mom.”
“You’ll change your mind once you fall in love with someone who’s amazing enough to make you want to have a family on your own.”
“You talk about that as if you’ve met that someone already!”
“Maybe I have,” you giggled stupidly to yourself. Of course you weren’t thinking about Jin – you just knew deep in your heart you always wanted your own family. Growing up from a large family and getting separated from them, it was uncomfortable to not be surrounded by crying and squealing, which was always accompanied with laughter and kisses at the end of the day. Now who wouldn’t want that? You waved your hand to your friend, trying to hide the apparent gushing behind your voice. “I’m just kidding. I just really love babies.”
“Whatever,” she closed the topic, and you didn’t protest, knowing full well your friend cringed at the mention of babies or children. “So are you coming to our study group tonight?”
“Can’t. Got work,” you shrugged, a light skip in your steps as you both walked to the campus. Thankfully, she mistook your enthusiasm with the excitement of getting to hang out with babies again, which was true, but something about meeting Jin again and possibly getting to know more about the sweet father was a huge cherry on top – one your friend didn’t have to know about.
“Shame. I heard that hot guy from Biology was coming too.”
“Fushiguro Toji? Wasn’t he scouted for the military?”
“Honestly, I’m more surprised he’s not a gangster,” she snorted, “But whatever. Text me when you get home safely, okay? If you don’t text within—”
“Yeah, I know, I know. Text you when I get on the bus stop, text you when I arrive at work, when I leave and when I’ve gotten home otherwise you’re calling the cops to report me missing or abused,” you stood up straight for a mock salute, brows furrowed in faux seriousness. “I know, ma’am. That’s drilled in my head already.”
“I’m serious. The world is a dangerous place!”
“Yes, I’ll text you!”
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Wednesdays couldn’t come sooner. But when it did, you were far too excited. You’d never tell anyone you took the extra time to fix your hair and spritz on just a tinge of perfume, not wanting to overwhelm the baby.
You shot up from your seat right after class ended, hair flying in the wind as you bolted to the bus stop. Wiping away the sweat on your forehead and fixing your clothes with a pat of your hand, you took a deep breath, chanting inner mantras that today would be a good at work. You’d be contributing to society by caring for a child that would soon be the light of the future, and you were more than honoured. Clearing your throat, you pressed on the bell, humming to yourself as you heard the light patters of footsteps inside.
“Hey, you’re here!” Jin smiled at you, one you reciprocated wholeheartedly, and he opened the door wider while you took off your shoes.
He was still dressed in his sweatpants and a white shirt, looking utterly domestic and different from your previous employers that would glare at you if you touched their kid without sanitizing your hand twice first. Jin was like a breath of fresh air to you – one you breathed in with glee while you followed him inside.
His house was kept neat and clean, surprising you even more at just how immaculate to detail he could be despite his busy schedule. Was it because he was an adult or a parent now that people his age were just more organized and put together?
Whatever it was, you trailed around Jin like a puppy, eager to learn from his ways.
“I told myself I’d only ask you to come around if I’m away for work but I’m working on a huge project and my client is very demanding. He’s asking me to pass it this week already and he just sent me his plans last night.”
“It’s okay...Jin,” you stuttered over calling him by his first name like that, “You can focus on your work. I’ll take care of everything else.”
“Thank you! Yuuji’s in his room, by the way. He’s just had dinner so he’s still energetic – you can pull up the cartoons and lounge in the living room. He’ll be fine,” he opened his mouth to say something else when his gaze darted to your book bag, eyes widening. “Oh wait, you brought your schoolwork—”
“I’m good! I’ve already finished them during my spare time! I promise you really don’t have anything to worry about!”
“Oh, that’s cool, I guess,” he calmed down at your words, scratching the back of his ear before gesturing to his door. “Well, I’ll be in my room if you need me. I get really occupied and focused though, so just open the door if I don’t open it right away.”
“Noted,” You wasted no time in picking up Yuuji from his crib afterwards. It seemed the little man didn’t quite like being imprisoned like that because he was babbling nonsensically, fists banging on the edges.
Upon seeing you enter his room, Yuuji’s babbles got louder, small chubby arms reaching out to your extended ones. His pacifier fell inside his crib as he pouted at you, and how could you resist? Soon, you were happily nestled onto the couch on the living room, his favourite cartoons playing on the background.
His head swayed side to side as the songs came along, while you watched him with tiny giggles. You wondered if maybe your first day at work would be eventless like this.
You really thought you’d run back and forth doing errands and changing diapers, but that was your old babysitting experience – things were obviously different with Jin and his son.
Yuuji was quiet, but Jin was right, he was clingy. Not an hour later into the show, he crawled to your sides and settled into your lap, tiny hands grabbing at your shirt. He sighed as his cheeks rested on your chest, though his eyes still glossed over the cartoon. You felt like your heart would burst at his affection, and you patted his back gently to lull him to sleep.
Eventually, Yuuji fell asleep. You hadn’t even noticed it was dark out already, the cartoons only playing through loop.
You scooped up Yuuji closer to your arms before shutting the TV off, making sure to be as quiet as you could be while you placed him back on his crib. Smiling at the angel, you patted his hair before leaving the room, knocking on Jin’s door at the end of the hallway instead.
When he didn’t respond after four knocks, you thought he’d fallen asleep until you remembered his note.
Shakily, you twisted the knob open, a small smile on your face when you saw him furiously sketching something on his paper. An empty cup of coffee laid beside his table, eraser shavings everywhere. His room smelled like soft laundry detergent with the faint aroma of white caramel coffee – smooth and sweet like him – and it felt almost wrong to be in such a space that was clearly so intimate of him.
Not wanting to disturb too much, you cleared you peered from behind the door sheepishly. “...Jin? Oh. Hello.”
“Hey,” he blinked at you then rubbed his eyes, staring at you for a solid minute before his mouth formed into an ‘o’ shape. “Is everything okay? Yuuji didn’t destroy something, did he?”
“No, he’s fast asleep. I just came here to say I’ll be going home now. It’s past midnight already.”
“It’s that late?” Jin glanced at his wristwatch and adjusted his glasses, fingers swiping up to retrieve his keys as he wore his coat. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you stay this late, and you have school tomorrow too,” he groaned tiredly, though the apologetic smile on his face easily concealed his exhaustion. “I’m really sorry I lost track of time. Come, I’ll drive you home, it’s not safe this dark out.”
“But Jin,” you froze in his hallway, “What about Yuuji?”
“Do you live far from here?”
“No, the dorms are like five minutes away,” Jin pondered about this information, possibly hesitating that maybe it wasn’t his best to leave his son alone. You appreciated the thought, you really did, but you were worried for Yuuji too so you smiled at him, nodding to assure that he didn’t have to. “Jin, it’s okay, I can just take the bus. I’ve been doing that for a long time now and I’m really okay.”
Jin clutched at his keys, the frown on his face evident. “At least let me walk you to the bus stop? So I know you’re safe?”
“Yeah, that’s fine, I guess.”
“Let me just get extra covers for Yuuji. It might be cold tonight,” You waited until he came out with Yuuji warmly bundled up in his arms. The two of you walked side by side, baby Yuuji fast asleep in his arms with his head covered in a small cap. You blushed at the thought that maybe people would think you looked like a family, but before these foolish imaginations could consume you, Jin beat you to it. “I haven’t thanked you properly for today, by the way. Let me make it up to you sometime – you look really tired.”
You flushed deep at his words, shaking your hands in front of you. “Oh no, it’s fine, really! I’m just doing my job.”
“Yes, but caring for someone else’s child – whether you’re paid or not – is still a very selfless act and I can’t thank you enough for it.”
You looked away from how warm his smile was despite the biting chill of the night, turning away to bury your chin in your neck instead. “You really don’t have to do anything. I’m just happy to help.”
“If you insist then,” Jin waved at you as much as he could without waking his son up as you hopped onto the bus, with you watching from the inside. “Get home safely! Text me when you’re home!”
“I will,” you mouthed through the window.
Jin and Yuuji disappeared from your sight after that. All the way back home, the warmth and butterflies swarming your stomach wouldn’t disappear. Even as you flopped on your bed, you still kept tossing and turning, the bright light of your screen glaring at you to just send the darned text already.
Hey...or maybe hello? He’s older though... How do older people even text each other? He wasn’t that much older, but still...it kind of felt inappropriate to address him too casually.
Deciding to just screw it, you pressed backspace and settled for the most boring text, hitting send and flattening on the bed with a groan. Who knew texting someone could be that mind-boggling? Sweat beaded at your forehead as you stared at the plain I’m home, sleep about to take over when your phone buzzed afterwards.
I’m glad to know you’re safe. Sleep well, Y/N.
Looking over at your slumbering roommate, you grabbed a pillow to bite it and muffle your screams, legs flailing beneath you as you read his text over and over again. It wasn’t even that special, but Jin had wished you well – the hardworking and sweet Jin – sending your heart into overdrive.
Your roommate didn’t stir one bit even as you giggled to yourself, punching the bed while you replayed the image of his smile, the feeling of how warm he was walking close to you like that and the sound of his soothing voice that just messed with you on the insides.
God, you had it bad – and yet, why did it feel so good?
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Babysitting had never been more fun. Even though the task was no longer new for you, you looked forward to working every single day. Your friends noticed your change in moods, but just downed it to the fact you were generally a cheerful person anyway and didn’t bother asking why, which you were thankful for because it wasn’t easy to admit it out loud you liked Itadori Jin, of all people.
Now that you looked back onto it, he wasn’t that special.
He was definitely the type of guy you easily overlooked in a train, but he would also be the type of guy who wouldn’t hesitate to give up his seat for someone else. It wasn’t like he was utterly interesting too since like you, his life was a bland routine of taking care of babies, working, holing up in his room to create something, drinking coffee as sweet and light as possible, then calling it a day and sleeping with a huge smile on their face, just thankful for another day.
Yes, he was simple. Yes, he might even be boring, but gosh, you had never liked someone so much.
You summed it down to him being kind and loving. Yes, that was all it was. While your friends flocked over to mysterious, dark guys like Fushiguro Toji and his friends, gossiping non-stop on how he supposedly had a hotter younger relative but were a lot shittier than he was, you were different. You were simple.
You liked soft, quiet guys who enjoyed the soft pit-patters of rain, the types of people who spent too much time in the library travelling across galaxies in their seat, and overall, you liked peaceful souls.
Jin was everything you ever admired – stable, simple, kind, affectionate. It was clear from how he was never shy to shower his baby with kisses and feed him with airplane spoons, using a small voice to baby talk his son. Every time you came around, you immediately felt welcomed into their happy home despite the lack of a maternal figure, and you found yourself wanting to be there a lot more often than you should.
It seemed that the heaven heard your prayers when your phone rang. Instinct kicked in, and you grabbed at your blaring phone, eyes wide when you read the contact name.
“Hello? Jin, what’s wrong?” Yuuji was crying in the background, accompanied with his father’s constant shushing and worried cooing.
“H-hi, I’m really sorry to bother you, I know it’s late, it’s just Yuuji won’t stop crying and my neighbours are mad at me because I can’t get him to calm down,” as if on cue, Yuuji only wailed louder. You could hear Jin’s desperate pleas for him to quiet down a little, with you dashing out of your bed and slinging your arms inside your coat. “Could you please come over? I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m on my way,” was all you said before hanging up. Minutes later, you’d entered their apartment thanks to the spare key Jin gave you, heart breaking as Yuuji’s wailings only got louder.
Jin’s shoulders visibly relaxed when you scooped his son into your arms, rocking back and forth as you pressed a palm flat on his forehead. He didn’t seem to be feverish or even warmer than usual, but he was definitely irritated, pushing away at your hands that laid on him.
“Yuuji, baby! What’s wrong, sweetheart? Something hurt anywhere?” you turned to Jin, “Is his diaper full?”
“I just checked, he didn’t poop,” Jin nibbled at his thumbnails, a quirk you didn’t expect he’d have with his seemingly put-together composed self. His son’s crying must’ve really bothered him because Jin wouldn’t stop pacing back and forth, Yuuji’s newly cleaned pacifier clenched between his fingers. “I gave him the teething rings too but he just dumped them to the side.”
Nodding, you tried poking at Yuuji’s stomach. The baby belly that should’ve been squishy was firm against your finger, the imaginary light bulb in your head going off.
“His stomach is a little tight. I think he’s got gas,” you informed Jin with a relieved smile, glad that it wasn’t as serious as you thought it would be. “We need to make him burp,” Patting at Yuuji’s back while Jin gently massaged Yuuji’s belly, prompting the boy to wail louder with his tiny arms banging both your chest, a big burp was finally released.
“Oh my gosh, he’s still crying.”
“It’s okay, Jin, he’ll be fine,” you reassured, smiling wide at baby Yuuji even though he couldn’t focus on you. “That’s right, sweetheart, you’re doing great. Just burp a little more and it won’t hurt so bad. It’s just gas, sweetie, you’re alright. I’ve got you.”
“B-but the neighbours...”
“Don’t mind them,” You didn’t mean for your words to come out harsh, but who could blame you? Yuuji was clearly in distress; the last thing you cared about was pleasing others. “They can plug in earbuds for all I care. Yuuji needs help,” at your words, Jin swallowed, resuming his ministrations of encouraging his son to burp.
Yuuji stilled for a moment before he resumed his crying. This time around, Jin was a lot calmer and focused as his hands rubbed at his son’s stomach. The burps came constant afterwards until Yuuji had enough, turning away from his father and burying his head on your chest. Small hiccups followed, but he’d calmed down, eyes shut tight from the previous discomfort.
“Are you feeling better now, baby? Tummy ache is gone?”
“He’s...not crying anymore...” Jin murmured in disbelief, his hands hovering above Yuuji’s belly.
“He’s still really red, though,” you frowned, hands brushing his bangs away from his forehead. It didn’t take long before Yuuji settled in, thumbs sucked into his mouth. Little whimpers could still be heard from the little guy, though nothing serious happened. You and Jin both sighed in relief. “I think he’s tired from crying. I’m going to go rock him for a bit,” Eyes flitting over to Jin’s face rigged with dark circles, you mustered a chuckle. “How about you, are you okay? You look half-dead,” you joked.
“He was in the crib next to me when he just started wailing out of nowhere,” Jin plopped down onto the sofa, his sweatshirt crinkled and sweatpants loose and comfortable as ever. “I was so scared that maybe something else was wrong.”
“Parenting is both a blessing and a hardship, huh?” you chided in, “Don’t worry. I still think you’re doing an amazing job at being a dad.”
“You’re quite amazing too. You’re a natural at this.”
You shrugged, unable to look Jin in the eye as you continued gently swaying side to side while Yuuji slept in your arms. “My parents were rarely around. They were too busy working to provide for all of us so I acted as the parental figure instead.”
“Your parents are really lucky to have you as a child – reliable and strong.”
“All I ever wanted was to make them proud,” you told him, looking far from the distance as you reminisced your old memories with your family. It felt so far away already – they felt far away – though you knew the love you had for one another still remained. “And I live a good life knowing they passed with no worries. My siblings are doing great, too, though we’ve all parted ways now. Some of them got adopted by our relatives and I’m...I’m here I guess.”
“I’m extremely sorry for your loss,” Jin’s voice was quiet, and when you looked back at him, you saw him smiling into his hands before turning to you, wearing that damned smile that always had your heart doing backflips. “You’re a really strong person, you know?”
Your cheeks flushed at his words. “Thank you. I think it’s all thanks to my parents,” you murmured; that slight pang of pain remained even after their death, though it wasn’t as awful as it used to be. The sting felt a lot calmer now, almost as if time slowly healed your heart back together. “After they passed from the car crash, I just knew I had to be strong for all of us. The pain and the hardship were worth the effort, though. All of us are happy and settled now.”
“That’s the one thing I’m most afraid of,” he confessed, frowning at the peaceful baby in your arms. “That I’ll have to leave my child before he’s ready to face the world by himself. I’m not...I could never be prepared for that.”
“As long as he knows you love him and you always will, I think Yuuji will always find his way in life,” Jin’s eyes widened, something unreadable glimmering behind those pretty eyes that had you feeling too many things all at once. Embarrassment and sudden shyness creeped all the way up to your spine along with exhaustion, and you gestured for him to move aside, heaving as you sat down next to him. “I’m really sleepy.”
“Please, let me hold – oh. He likes you more, I guess.”
You chuckled at his dejected face, the childish pout the exact replication of Yuuji’s. Yuuji refused to be held by his dad, burrowing himself into your warmth instead. “I’ve got a charm when it comes to children.”
“That you do,” he agreed absentmindedly.
Before any of you could realize what was going on, you’d fallen asleep on the couch. Yuuji was still safely nestled between your arms, while Jin’s head was tucked in your shoulder, soft breaths leaving those equally soft lips.
Oddly enough, when you woke up and noticed your current position, none of you found it weird. Jin only laughed at the way drool dried up at the end of your lips, to which you silently scolded him for as to not rouse Yuuji from his sleep. He didn’t move away from his position, eyes flicking over from yours to his son bundled up warmly, a smile tugging up at the ends of his lips.
“Uh... that was a long night.”
“Long night, indeed,” Jin nodded before standing up to stretch, exposing a sliver of smooth skin that made heat rush up to your face. You immediately looked away, heart pounding in your chest as Jin began to rummage through his kitchen. “It’s a Saturday so if you’re free...do you want to stay over for breakfast?”
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Something about that night kicked off the start of your...budding friendship with Jin. Yes, that’s exactly what it was, just friendship.
You knew there was no way he could ever see you the way you looked at him; not that you minded. Being in their presence and having Yuuji around was already a blessing itself, the days progressively getting better the more you worked for him.
It had become a routine that Jin would come home, exhaustion lining his eyes before he caught sight of you standing in the living room, reading books out loud while you carried a babbling Yuuji. You would laugh because it felt like Yuuji was trying to have conversation with you, to which you responded with reading terms even you had difficulty pronouncing. He’d only nod and keep saying nonsense, grubby hands reaching for the book you held.
He was so precious that you leaned down to kiss the top of his head every now and then, giggles pouring out from the tiny baby strawberry.
Jin took off his shoes, the happiness bursting through his chest unexplainable upon seeing that his son was happy and safe. Loosening the tie with one hand, he extended his arms wide open, running into your direction. “I’m home!”
“Yuuji, Daddy’s here!”
“How’s my sweet little boy doing?” The smile on Jin’s face was phenomenal and even dramatic as his son finally reached out to him, the babbles only getting louder as his dad peppered his cheeks with kisses. Yuuji still wanted to stay in your arms though, and Jin sighed when his son’s hands went back to grabbing at your book, though the chuckles he let out told you he wasn’t really dismayed about it. “Thank you for looking out for him again. Isn’t your arm tired from carrying him and studying like that?”
“No, I’m good. I’ve got really strong muscles,” you flexed your bicep, “Plus, it’s so comforting to carry an angel like Yuuji around. I feel like I’m going to pass my exams with ease!”
Not a moment later, you dropped your arm and turned away to hide your frown, brows pinched together. Jin, being the ever observant person he was, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his voice gentle and warm as he asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Well,” you began, “I couldn’t understand something and I’ve been going at it for days. Nothing makes sense to me,” with the effort of only one free hand, you flipped to the middle of the book. A headache began to form the moment you read the chapter title, making you cringe while Jin leaned closer for a better look at its contents. “Look at this chapter here. It’s so confusing!”
“Oh, I know this!” he pushed his glasses back up to his nose, grinning as he pulled out a chair before gesturing you to do so. “Okay, so this means...” 
Not even in your craziest dreams had you imagined you’d be sitting at Jin’s table like this, your legs touching from the lack of space as he rambled on excitedly about the lesson.
He would have animated gestures to explain the dynamics of this and that, both you and Yuuji staring at him in awe as he broke the chapter down into easier parts. It was still difficult to understand since your attention was mostly on the way his eyes brightened the more he talked about his passion for the subject, not to mention that Yuuji was also grabbing at both your faces.
It made you both laugh, the two of you simultaneously bending down to kiss either sides of his cheeks until Yuuji was squished between the both of you.
You laughed with Jin the moment you made awkward eye contact through the kiss, chests bursting with laughter before he proceeded back to the lesson. With each passing second, you were beginning to fall for him a lot more and on a deeper level – so much so that you told yourself you should be scared. Instead, your heart felt at home, calm and peaceful, almost as if it knew you were safe and welcomed.
This sudden revelation had you looking at him in an entirely different light. Jin looked...the same, but somehow warmer? Like he was bathed in a soft glow, the edges pink like his hair, and your hair melted at each and every word that poured from his lips.
When you excused yourself to go to the restroom, you were greeted by the sight of a nearly passed out Jin on the couch, baby Yuuji asleep on his arms.
Jin must be really tired from work. He hadn’t even changed out of clothes. It was getting late too – you needed to come back home soon.
“Jin. Jin, wake up.”
“Huh?” his eyes snapped open, arms instinctively tightening around Yuuji’s before he relaxed, smiling stupidly as he leaned back on his seat. “Oh, it’s you. Hi.”
“Hi,” you echoed, nails digging into your palm to resist the urge to wrap him in a hug; he looked like he needed it. Hands held out in front of you, you took Yuuji from him, slightly nudging his knee with yours. “I’ll take Yuuji to bed. You should go freshen up,” Jin groaned in agreement as he ran his hands through his hair, muttering something about being a parent meant not getting to sleep well. You chuckled at his statement, already moving to get the cups out from the pantry. “Do you want me to make you a cup of tea?”
“Yeah, that’ll be great, thank you.”
Jin disappeared into his room while you tucked Yuuji into bed, the both of you meeting later in the kitchen. He still looked terribly tired, though his smile was lively as ever when he joined you at the table. “Long day again?”
“It’s always a long day,” he confessed through a sip, “But all my worries wash away when I get to see how happy and healthy my son is. I’d work day and night just to provide a good life for him.”
“Don’t forget to spend time with him too, okay? Using the present to ensure your son’s future in exchange of not watching them grow up isn’t worth it,” you reminded him, slightly referring to how much you regretted not getting to be with your parents much until you completely lost the opportunity to do so again. Jin easily read your eyes, fingers grazing the edges of his cup as you continued, “He’s growing day by day. Promise me you’ll always be there for him, okay?”
“I promise,” though whispered, you heard it loud and clear, and you knew without a doubt he’d keep to his words.
After Jin washed his cup, you gathered your things and allowed him to walk you all the way to his apartment’s entrance, waving softly at you. “Get home safely, Y/N. Text me when you’re home.”
It was the perfect routine: go to school, go to work, fall in love with Jin and his son a lot more than you should be, and go home with his kind smile as the last thing you saw.
Each night before sleep completely overtook you, your phone would vibrate, the name of the man who had completely smitten your heart appearing and washing away all the previous tiredness you both accumulated through the day.
Good night, Jin. Rest well.
You too.
It was a routine you’d never get tired of.
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“Jin? Yuuji?” you gasped as Yuuji greeted you with bubbling laughter, his small arms slapping your cheeks while his dad giggled behind him. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Happy Birthday!” Jin greeted and finally showed his face after hiding from Yuuji’s buttocks. Your heart absolutely soared at the sight of the father and son duo wearing matching pink clothes, both of their bright smiles only adding to the warmth of the special day. No, actually, it became special because of them – the two people you adored most in this world. “Satoru texted me it was your birthday and it’s my day off too so I thought I’d drop by!”
Before you could respond, Jin huddled Yuuji closer to him, blinking at the audience you both managed to gather.  “I forgot you lived at a dorm, though...is it normal that people are looking us?”
“No, it’s not. They probably think I’m a young mom or something,” you flushed beet red at his words, silently glaring at the nosy onlookers whispering behind their backs. It wasn’t that you were ashamed people could assume that about you, it was just ironic since you actually wanted that to be real but it was embarrassing because you knew Jin wouldn’t see you that way. “Can you give me a few minutes to get ready? We should go somewhere else.”
“Okay, we’ll wait for you downstairs.”
You’ve never moved so fast in your life. Brushing your teeth, showering, and getting dressed in your best clothing were all achieved in the span of ten minutes. You felt proud of yourself as you hopped the stairs two steps down at a time, hair flying from behind you. It was clear you were too excited, but could anyone blame you? You never cared about your birthday, but Jin and Yuuji were here! Of course this was going to be a special day.
You froze at the end of the stairs, the drumming of your heart too wild to tame. Jin was blowing kisses into Yuuji’s belly, the baby’s gleeful laughter painting the walls.
He must’ve felt your stare burning holes at the back of his head because Jin turned your way, Yuuji pressed into his chest as he walked towards you. You were once again blown away by his sweet scent, a mix of gentle laundry detergent and something was just so Jin.
“Hey there,” he smiled, knocking the wind out of your lungs with just two words. “I didn’t have anything cool planned for today since I wasn’t prepared but I know this nice restaurant you might really like. It’s going to be my treat!”
“Oh thanks, but my friends already fed me enough with pizza and cake. Is it okay if we just take a walk around somewhere?”
“Yeah, of course!” Grabbing his arm to pull him away from prying eyes, you walked out of the campus, extending your arms to celebrate your freedom once the warm sunshine kissed at your skin, the cool wind soothing you afterwards. Jin laughed at your carefree expression, watching as you twirled and danced a little at the peace provided to you by the park. “Happy Birthday again! So how’s it feel like being a year older?”
“I feel like nothing’s changed, but at the same time nothing is the same too,” you told him through a laugh, “Does that make sense?”
“Totally. When I first got Yuuji, I didn’t think anything changed too, but now I can’t imagine a life without this little guy.”
Your adrenaline rush had worn down.
Walking side by side with Jin, arms brushing from the lack of proximity even though the area was practically empty, it dawned on you that Jin had lived an entire life before you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from asking: “Do you...do you still think about her sometimes? His mom?”
Jin was silent for a moment. The sudden stretch of nothingness had anxiety crawling at you hard enough you were about to apologize for asking such a sensitive question, but Jin only smiled at you, although his smile was...sad, regretful, even.
“His mom and I didn’t work out,” he began. “I always knew she had some family issues when we began dating in college, but I didn’t think too much of it. Back then, all I knew was that I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her, so we eloped. Her parents didn’t like it, of course, and they demanded we brought her back,”
“She was pregnant at that time so I refused to let her see her family again knowing how toxic they were to her. But they insisted, and...and she wasn’t the same after that. She just started looking at me differently and hating the growing child inside of her,” Jin kissed the top of Yuuji’s head as he spoke, almost as if silently reminding his son he was loved no matter what.
“When Yuuji was born, she couldn’t even look at him; said she refused to be a mother and to cut ties with me. So we divorced and...well, I don’t know, to be honest. Last time I heard, she’d already remarried in such a short time – to a man her family approved of this time around.”
“Do you still love her?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted with a chuckle, eyebrows furrowed while Yuuji clutched at the collar of his turtleneck sweater, his doe eyes staring right up at you. “Do we ever really stop loving someone?”
Your heart fell at his words. So maybe he still did love her. You always knew you might never get a chance – but surely wishing for it wasn’t such a crime. “Does that mean you won’t fall in love with anyone else anymore?”
“Who would like a nerdy single dad like me?” Jin threw his head back in laughter, the disbelief apparent in his voice. It shocked you that he thought of himself this way, because in your eyes, he was perfect. “Plus, I’m too busy to date. Other than you, I don’t really hang out with women all that much, and you’ve seen in my worst state – like that one time I nearly went to work wearing the wrong tie or with my glasses skewed. I don’t think I’m the type people would want to date.”
“Well, who knows?”
“Yeah, who knows?” he mimicked your shrug, still painfully oblivious that you wore your heart on your sleeve.
Once the sun had completely shied away from the clouds and the heat grew too much for Yuuji, you both resorted to going back to his apartment. Yuuji was happily playing on the ground as he smashed his toys together, while you and Jin wore matching aprons (you didn’t ask why he had two) as you mixed the batter and he preheated the oven.
“I’m still sorry I couldn’t get to buy you a cake, by the way. But we have all the ingredients here and a homemade cake is always amazing!” Instead of smiling at his words, Jin was met with your glossy eyes, lips trembling. You’d completely stopped mixing the batter, no longer in control of yourself as you watched him happily skip back and forth to the ingredients.
Jin rushed to your side in a flash, hands hovering before you. He couldn’t really touch you since he had flour all over his skin, a smidge of it right under his worried gaze. “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing. It’s just...I’ve never really experienced this before. Having someone invite me to their home and bake me a cake for my birthday,” you looked down on the ground, feeling the emotional dam inside you starting to crack. “When I was young, I never even cared about my birthday because I was too busy tending after my siblings. After that, I forgot all about it and I was only surprised when my friends brought me gifts today,” You knew you were rambling, and you waved your hands in front of yourself, forcing yourself to smile. “I’m sorry – I’m being dramatic, aren’t I?”
“Hey, no, you’re not,” Suddenly, Jin pulled you into a hug, your body fitting perfectly in his arms. “I want you to know you’re family to us now. You’re always welcome here with me and Yuuji. We’ll take care of each other like family. We’ll bake you all the cakes you want from now on.”
The rest of his words were drowned out by the thumping of your chest.
You couldn’t hear him, couldn’t even properly see him – in that moment, all you could do was feel. You felt his warm breath ghosting over the column of your neck, his calloused hands patting gently at your back, the heat of his body seeping into yours that pulling away seemed to be such a daunting task. He felt like home, smelled like all the sweetness you lacked in your life, and you just knew you had to tell him.
“Jin. There’s something I have to tell you.”
“Yes?”
“I,” your breath shuddered, hands coming up to clutch at the material of his shirt. “I’m in love with you.”
Just like that, the string broke.
Jin pulled away from you faster than you could comprehend. When you opened your eyes, he was already at an arm’s length away from you, nothing but the sounds of your heart shattering into pieces muddling with his words.
His back dipped into a low bow. “I am extremely sorry; I cannot accept your feelings. It’s not that you’re not loveable; it’s just...you’re my son’s babysitter and I believe this is really inappropriate. Yuuji is vulnerable still and the last thing I want to do is date when I should be focusing on his life instead. I’m really sorry, Y/N. I don’t see nor do I feel that way for you.”
Hurt. Broken. Humiliated. Ashamed. Torn.
A plethora of feelings crashed over you all at once until breathing became such a hard thing to do, his words replaying like a broken record in your head.
He didn’t love you.
He didn’t feel the same way.
And it made sense – because why would he? “Yeah, oh my gosh!” you exclaimed while waving your hands frantically in front of your face, your unexpected enthusiasm causing Jin to peer up at you curiously under his lashes. “I mean, of course, I knew that already, duh. I’m not stupid, but like, yeah I’m really sorry, I’m probably making you so uncomfortable right now. I’m really, really sorry.”
“You’re not, I assure you,” he smiled gently again, but this time around, you weren’t soothed. It felt totally humiliating. Your toes curled inside your socks as your forced smile froze on your face in hopes of not making this any weirder than it already was, and you only chuckled as Jin cleared his throat. “I hope we can still be friends after this and that we can keep our professional relationship,” you nodded eagerly, a little too eagerly, and Jin awkwardly gestured to the pans. “So...a cake is waiting to be baked.”
“Yeah, let’s get to baking!”
If Jin noticed that you were a lot more enthusiastic than you were this morning, he didn’t comment about it. He hummed under his breath in agreement, the both of you working synchronously.
You’ve been in his house long enough that you knew where all the pans and ingredients were, silently handing things over one another through a forced polite conversation of how the other’s day went. A pat on your back was well deserved from how you managed to keep up with his questions, your broken heart perfectly concealed under forced smiles and dry chuckles.
In reality, you couldn’t focus.
On the inside, you were shattered. Why did you have to fall for him out of all people? There could’ve been so many others – like Fushiguro Toji from Biology, Gojo Satoru the playboy, Suguru Geto the heir of his large corporation – but it had to be Itadori Jin.
He was so close and yet out of reach, seemingly so unattainable that your lips had dried from how often you licked at them in an attempt to keep the tears in.
You knew you ruined everything. Soon, you’d have to say goodbye to baby Yuuji, no longer able to kiss him on top of his head and see him smile the moment you walked through the door, his dad equally alight upon seeing you got Yuuji a stuffed toy as a gift.
You were stupid for thinking you could even be part of this family. They were happy and fine enough – what role did you have here?
Compared to an actual working adult who’d already experienced many things in life like Jin, you were just a flimsy, lovesick little girl who was only learning how to love. And with loving, came the guaranteed promise of heartbreak.
You just never expected it would be this way.
As Jin turned his back to you to place the batter inside the oven, your hands shook, desperately wiping the sweat of your palms on your jeans. “Excuse me for a minute,” you dashed to the bathroom, locking yourself and finally allowing the broken gasps to leave your lips.
Your back was laid flat on the wall, your shirt tucked in your mouth as you slapped your thigh, the tears streaming endlessly down your cheeks.
You didn’t want to leave him. You wanted to stay longer, wanted to be able to see his face every waking morning and to make him tea while he made breakfast. You wanted to watch Yuuji grow up and hold hands with Jin, to tell him you would love him if he allowed you. But he didn’t – and it hurt so much that your eyes grew red from the incessant crying.
It was better to just leave than to be kicked out. You couldn’t stay here any longer.
So you wiped your tears away, dunking water to your face before you rushed out the room, bag slung across your shoulder. Yuuji stopped playing as he watched you wear your shoes in frantic movements, your heart bursting through with pain.
You didn’t dare look Jin in the eye.
“Hey, Jin, I’m so sorry – my friends called. They’re inviting me out for drinks tonight and I can’t say no.”
“But...the cake.”
“Yeah, you can eat it yourself, I’m really sorry to bother but uhm, anyways, BYE!” Left confused, Jin stared at the door slammed shut hard enough that Yuuji fell to the floor in surprise, small whines leaving his lips.
Jin couldn’t tell whether his son cried because you’d left them, or he was simply afraid of the sound. Whatever it was, the sinking feeling in his stomach was much too clear.
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The next few days were hell. Your friends noticed the sudden drop in your mood, the loss of appetite, and the fact that you were clearly sleep-deprived.
How could you get sleep when your phone wallpaper was Yuuji kissing your cheeks, his dad laughing in the background? How could you sleep when your textbook still lay on your desk, a painful reminder of that time Jin had tutored you? How could you sleep when Wednesdays and Fridays had returned to its normal mundane self with nothing left to look forward to?
You couldn’t tell your friends about it either. All they knew was that you hadn’t been going to work because you came up with a flu, when in reality you’d been buried under your sheets, desperately ignoring the loud silence of your phone.
No texts. No calls. No how are you’s or how are you doing?
Not that you expected him to care since you did step out of line; you’d been completely unprofessional and Jin might not recommend you to future works anymore, though that was the least of your worries.
You just wanted to forget everything. His smile, his laughter, his kindness, the sound of his voice and how he always smelled like sweet vanilla.
Crying yourself to sleep and wishing each day would come to an end faster was absolutely exhausting. The lack of sunlight caused you to be groggy and gray – if you kept up at this state, you’d completely wither like a dried sunflower. You didn’t want to go out but your mini fridge was empty, stomach loudly grumbling for food.
You sighed as you closed the door, unkempt hair up in a bun and body adorned with an oversized shirt and the sweatpants you’ve refused to wash for two days now.
You were a mess – both on the inside and the outside – and your eyes lacked their usual warmth. Your movements mimicked that of a robot as you straggled to the nearest convenience store, about to enter when you heard someone cry out.
“Mama!”
Hands frozen on the door, your eyes widened before your head craned to the sound of rushed footsteps. In front of you was a panting Jin, a wailing baby Yuuji in his arms who only cried louder once he set his eyes on you. Jin gasped for air, and you both moved in sync, with you reaching out for baby Yuuji and him handing his child over to you.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry! Yuuji’s first word was Mama and I didn’t know what he meant but then he started crying and clutching the strawberry toy you got him and I’m so sorry, he just won’t stop crying. He kept looking for you.”
“No, I’m the one who should apologize!” you replied back, adding a bounce to your step to cradle Yuuji who’d buried his damp face onto your neck, crying mama over and over again.
Memories of meeting Jin for the first time and his reminder that he didn’t want Yuuji calling you that nearly made you kneel down in apology, but you opted for a slight bow, your hot tears trailing down your face because you missed him, but it was all messed up and seeing him once more only dug a deeper crater in your heart.
Before you completely left each other’s lives, you at least wanted to apologize.
“I realized my mistake and made it so weird for the both of us. Plus, Yuuji didn’t say Dada and I think that’s my fault. I swear I wasn’t trying to replace his mom or anything, I just—”
“I love you too,” he cut you off, and your eyes snapped from the ground back to his flustered face.
“What?”
“I’m sorry for lying that I don’t feel the same way,” he confessed, scratching the back of his neck while his ears flushed a deep red. “The truth is, my father always told me that Yuuji’s mom wasn’t a good person and I should stay away from her, but I never listened. A-and I always talked to him about Yuuji’s new babysitter and how kind you were and how I think I’m falling for you. He said I should man up and tell you but I was just afraid to love again since I’ve fallen before and I don’t want to be hurt again,” Jin bowed to you in a perfect angle, his son now at peace in your arms. “I’m sorry.”
“Jin,” you breathed out, the tears prickling at the back of your eyes. You couldn’t believe this was happening – you wanted to embrace him, to kiss him, hold him, but you’d been so engrossed in your own heartbreak you never even thought about Jin’s fears. “I’d never hurt you or Yuuji.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for hurting you like that,” he straightened up, feeling you stiffen under him when his arms wrapped around you. He felt so warm, and you felt so at place that your tears damped his sweatshirt, Jin’s hands gently caressing your waist. “Is it okay if we come back home?”
You cried louder than you ever did your whole life, though this time it was mixed with laughter. Jin laughed with you as you encircled your free arm around his neck to pull him closer, your lips eager as you littered kisses over his neck.
“Yes, of course,” you giggled, “You don’t even have to ask.”
You only ever wanted a job as a babysitter to make ends meet – falling in love was out of the equation – but with the magic presented right in front of you, you weren’t going to push it away, and neither did Jin. This time, you embraced each other wholeheartedly, pink hearts floating in the air while the strawberry-haired baby giggled in your presence, delighted that now his family was whole.
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Text
I'll Make It Okay for You - Part 1
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader
Word count: 3,666
Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, mentions of drugs, and drug abuse. 
Summary: What happens when (y/n) (y/l/n), Harvey’s secret crush and a junior partner at his firm, openly defies him in front of everyone?
You can find Part 2 here.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.
A/N: So, this is my first Harvey Specter fic and I’m obviously quite unsure about it, lol. This might’ve ended up like one big mess, cause I tried to combine a bunch of Harveys I wanted to see. The perfect recipe for disaster, right? Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback, cause I’m also here to learn!!
(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)
| masterlist |
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You’d barely stepped out of the elevator when you were met by your secretary that morning. That couldn’t mean anything good.
“Morning, (y/n/n). You’ve got an emergency meeting with Jessica today. Gonna give you the schedule on the way there.” Lucy stated, leading you on the opposite way to Jessica’s office.
“Oh, I got the memo; company’s under attack again. She wants me on the frontlines this time. Louis is probably running around saying ‘We’re at war, people, war!!!’, or something like that. But why aren’t we headed towards the boss’ office?”
“Apparently, uh, she wants y’all to convey at Harvey’s office.” She said hesitantly, as if afraid of your reaction.
“Are you kidding me? It’s the first hour of the morning and she wants me to go see that smug face of his?” You pouted childishly.
“Smug and hot, you mean.” Lucy corrected you, getting an outraged look from you in response, as she usually would by saying anything positive about Specter.
“Shush,” You said, motioning for her to stop talking, “ one shall not praise Harvey Annoying Specter around me.” You stated full of obstination, but the younger woman just laughed you off and said:
“Well, here we are. I guess I’ll just have to send you an e-mail with your schedule, since, once again, we spent our schedule minutes of the day talking about “the enemy”.” She mocked with gestures and everything this time. That Lucy really was a piece of work, she timed the whole thing perfectly, in a way that you couldn’t even repudiate her insinuations because you were already standing in front of Specter’s office door.
Not long after you had entered and Jessica had officially started the strategy-meeting, though, all eyes in the room turned to you, as your phone started ringing in your back pocket. "Shit! I'm- I'm so sorry, guys, I guess I-"
"Can you please take your job seriously for once in your life, (y/l/n)?" You heard Harvey Pain-In-The-Ass Specter rudely remark, as you tried to swallow your embarrassment.
“Well, like I was trying to say, I’m sorry. Gonna turn it off right now, won’t happen again.” You said, directing your apologetic look to Jessica.
“You should just go ahead and answer it, could be something important.” She calmly told you.
“Especially now that you’ve already interrupted our work.” Specter chipped in again, which just gave you more fuel to answer the goddamn phone.
“Hello, yeah this is her.” You confirmed to the man on the phone, while taking a few steps towards the corner of the room. “What??? Are you sure? Oh my God! O- okay, just tell me which one and I’ll be there as soon as possible! Right, thank you.” Everyone’s eyes were on you, trying to understand what made you look so distressed. Except his, of course.
“Wait a second. Are you leaving right now?” He asked with a mix of annoyance and irritation in his voice.
“Yes, I am. I’m sorry, Jessica, but this is a family emergency. I have to go.”
“Well, I just hope you know that this doesn’t look good for you, (y/n).” She said, voice inexpressive.
“I do and, honestly? I couldn’t care less about that right now.” You firmly told her, while hoping your career wasn’t over by the next morning.
“I hope everything goes well for you and your family, (y/n). If you need anything, and I mean anything, just let me know.” Louis told you with that childish smile of his. Jesus, even in a moment like this, he tried to flirt with you.
“Thank you, Louis. That’s very kind.” You faked a tiny smile.
“Unbelievable.” 
“What?” You asked, turning back to face Harvey.
“Your firm is under attack and you’re leaving because of some stupid family crap?” Was he even serious?
“Precisely. And I don’t really care what your thoughts are on it. Our priorities are clearly very different.” Who the hell did he think he was to say anything about your family’s issues?
“Well, that shouldn’t matter because, the minute you walk in here, through those elevators out there, you’re supposed to leave all things personal behind.”
“Oh, right. I’m so sorry that I’m not some heartless lawyer like you, who’s just in it for the petty fights in the name of money-making.” Shit. You needed to get the hell out of there before you said something else to make Specter wanna kick you out himself. So you did. Stormed out like there was no tomorrow, leaving nothing but the very shocked Donna, Jessica, Louis, Mike, and Rachel behind. Oh, yeah, and a very pissed-off Harvey Specter.
Okay, maybe you were a little too harsh, but given the place you needed to go, to do what you needed to do, you didn't care about Harvey, your job, or anything else.
---
It was much later on that same day, around dinner time, that you heard a soft knock on your door. But how could someone be at your door, if the doorman downstairs hadn't announced any visitors? Were you dreaming? Well, the day had been so tiring that that wasn't exactly impossible… Nonetheless, you made your way to the door, whilst holding your very needy three-year-old nephew in your arms. Not that you could blame Henry after the day he’d had.
Since you weren’t expecting anyone, it was reasonable to believe that, whoever it was, was going to be a surprise. But not in a million years would have you ever guessed that Harvey Specter was the one knocking at your door. Especially considering what had happened at the firm earlier. How did he even know your address?
“Hi, (y/l/n). I didn’t know you had a kid.” He stated with a bit of surprise of his own, pointing to the little boy you were carrying.
“No, uh, I don’t have any.” You managed to say, trying to control your shocked expression. “This is my nephew.” You clarified again, a little more at ease this time.
“My name’s Henry. What’s yours?” You heard your nephew ask with his cute child-voice.
“Harvey. It’s, uh, it’s very nice to meet you, Henry.” Harvey told the boy, holding out his hand for him to shake, as a sweet smile came to his lips.
“Is he your friend, auntie (y/n/n)?” Henry asked you hesitantly, before making a move. The Don’t Talk to Strangers Rule must’ve kicked in his mind. 
Before answering him, you hesitated a little bit yourself, though. Was Harvey your friend? Obviously not, but if he came to your apartment in the middle of the night like this, it was probably because of something important. Work-related, of course. Which meant you’d have to let him in, so you settled for what would be the easiest classification for a three-year-old.
“Yeah, bud, he is my friend from work.” Hearing that, something in Specter’s eyes changed, you didn’t really know what, though.
“Well, then, can he come play with us?” He gave you such a cute look, that you almost said yes right on cue. But you obviously couldn’t. 
“You’d have to ask him, but I’m sure he has a lot of other, more important, things to do now.” You tried to explain to the little boy, giving Harvey a look. But you didn’t get too far, as the lawyer quickly said:
“Of course I wanna go play with you! That is if your auntie’s okay with that…” Now he was mocking you, that was the only explanation.
“Can we play with him, then, auntie (y/n/n)? Please, please, please?” God, what horrible thing could’ve you possibly done to deserve this particular punishment?
“Um, I guess... If he really has nothing better to do-” Harvey didn’t even let you finish your sentence.
“I really don’t.” He said, shooting you and Henry a bright smile that you’d never seen before.
“Okay, then, come in. Please disregard the mess, I got this stuff to make dinner, but someone just won’t detach, right, mister?” You asked your nephew with fake annoyance in your voice, as you tickled his sides a little bit. He just laughed at you. Though what really caught your attention was the fact that Harvey, too, was chuckling lightly at the scene, as he started picking up your groceries’ bags from the floor. “What are you doing?”
“Helping you, what else?” You gave him a weird look because, well, it was a weird situation. Maybe he noticed your discomfort because he added: “You look tired, so I’ll help you by making dinner and putting the rest of these away.”
“You’re kidding, right?” There was no way in hell that the All-Mighty Harvey Specter was gonna get domestic for you, of all people. Since he didn’t bother to answer, you went on: “First of all, what was it that you really came here to do, hum? And, second, I don’t need your help with anything.” Normally you tried to be kind to everyone, but, then again, Specter wasn’t exactly your normal kind of guy.
“Well, first of all,” he started in a tone of mockery, “that was rude! Look at the example you’re setting for little Henry!” Oh God, as much as you hated to admit it, he was kinda right, because you had completely forgotten about the little boy still cradled in your arms. “Second, we can talk about the reason why I came here later,” after your nephew’s asleep, was implicit in his speech, “third, it looks like you do need some help. And, for your luck, I happen to be a very good cook when I want to.”
“But-” You could barely begin your sentence, as Harvey sharply cut you off:
“You see, buddy,” he started, motioning to Henry this time, “the quicker we get your auntie on board with the game plan, the quicker we’ll get to eat and go play together!” Son of a bitch! Using a child to get to you…
“Can we please, auntie? Please?” How could you not crack after that pleading?
“Fine, but I swear I’ll make you pay if we wake up with food poisoning tomorrow, Specter.” You told him playfully, trying to lighten the mood after all of your bluntness.
“Oh, trust me, (y/l/n), you won’t. This will be the best meal you and the young man here will ever have in your entire lives.” He said cockily, but without the usual arrogance level, if that even makes sense.
A few hours and a really great dinner later, you and Henry couldn’t help but snicker shamelessly at Harvey’s ridiculous faces, as the three of you played a game on your living room’s floor. Trying to catch your breath from your giggles, you glanced up at the clock and realized that it was way too late for your nephew to be out of bed like that. So you broke up the game, announcing:
“It’s bedtime for you, Mr. Henry.” You watched the faces of the pair turn into ones of pure disappointment, as they prepared to pout.
“Just a little longer, auntie (y/n/n)! please!” The little boy started.
“Yeah, auntie, just a little longer! Please?” This time it was the grown man, one of the toughest Wall Street lawyers.
“As moved as I am by your synchrony, guys, the answer is a big no. C’mon, bud, let’s go brush your teeth. And then straight to bed. So say bye to Harvey, and thank him for being so nice to us tonight.” He looked between you and Specter as if still hoping for a hail Mary of some sort.
“Bye, Harvey.” He sounded so sad, but then he smiled brightly again, as he repeated what you’d told him to say word by word: “And thank you for being so nice to us tonight.” Hearing that, both you and Harvey chuckled lightly at the young boy, who quickly added: “Will you come see us tomorrow too?”
“Uh, we’ll, uh, we’ll see about that, okay, little man?” He tried to let Henry down slowly but, watching the boy’s expression become a sad one instantly, he added: “It’s just because both your auntie and I have a lot of work ahead of us tomorrow, but I’ll do my best, okay?” That was definitely a side of Harvey you’d never seen before, he had even bent down to be on your nephew’s level.
“Okay.” Henry said quietly, seeming to be a little happier, too.
“Okay, then let’s just go upstairs already.” You took the boy’s hand to guide him towards the spare bedroom’s bathroom, all the while shooting Specter a look that told him to wait for you a little longer.
“I’ll wait for you down here.” He said, proving he understood what your eyes tried to transmit.
So you headed upstairs with your nephew and, after a good fifteen minutes of brushing Henry’s teeth, helping him into his PJs, and tucking him in, you finally managed to come back to the living room, where you found Harvey looking through some of your photos displayed on the sideboard. For a minute or two, you just watched him. It wasn’t that you liked what you saw or anything. It wasn’t. It was more like postponing the weird conversation you two were bound to have, because, after all that had happened in those few hours, the atmosphere was, at very least, a strange one. But, almost as if he’d felt your gaze on his back, the lawyer in him was switched on, and he interrupted your thoughts by saying:
“Ah, you’re back. Good, because we need to talk.” You just motioned for him to follow you into your home office. But both you and Harvey looked so informal to be in that kind of environment, that you just indicated the small couch on the wall opposite to your desk for you to take your seats in.
“So, uh, before you even say anything, I wanna thank you for being so kind tonight,” a small smile came to your lips, as you remembered, not only the evening but how your nephew had used almost those exact same words, already imitating you, a little earlier. Specter smiled too, you noticed. “and I also wanna apologize. If you came here to talk to me… I must’ve made you waste a lot of time, huh?” You tried with a half-smile this time, as embarrassment started taking over you.
“What? No, of course not! I'm pretty sure that I told you I didn't have anything better to do, didn't I?" He calmly asked with a smile.
"Yeah, but I'm not buying it. You're Harvey Specter, isn't that what you're always saying? And Harvey Specter always has something better to do, isn't that right?" You shot back in a mockery tone, regaining your confidence.
"Well, maybe. But, not today. So don't apologize, and don't thank me. I'm the one who should be thanking you, I had a really good time tonight." Okay, now you were shocked. He had a good time?
"Uh, okay, um, so... What was so urgent that you had to come here in the middle of the night?" You nervously ranted, while tugging your hair behind your ears. He just stared at you, so much so that you almost repeated your question.
"Um, yeah, about this morning… That's why I came here…" You were already guessing that that would come up eventually, but it was the topic of your conversation? "I know that you and I always had our differences, and maybe even some rivalry-"
"Some rivalry? Dude, I'm just a junior partner, and ever since I started on that firm you've been persecuting me-"
"I wouldn't say persecuting…"
"Oh, you wouldn't?"
"Not since you made junior partner anyways. Now it's just a healthy rivalry between work friends…" He tried to use what you’d told your nephew earlier. 
"Oh, so you do admit you were persecuting me when I was an associate, huh?"
"Shit." He muttered quietly, as you watched him with a victory smile on your lips. "You know what? Hell yeah, I did persecute you when you were an associate." Hearing that blunt admission of guilt, you just couldn't find anything to say. “You wanna know why? I did that because, from the first time I saw you doing your job, I saw this very thing that I see now: you kicking ass, you think I wanted to admit this to you? I’ll answer it myself: no, I didn’t. The only reason why it happened is that you led me to it.” He blurted out, completely knocking you off your socks.
“So, um, you treated, you treat me like shit because, um, because I’m good?” You asked, still unsure of what to think about his confession.
“Well, that was part of it, sure. So, you see, I could understand it when you weren’t particularly thrilled at the perspective of working with me. But, this morning, you said that I’m a heartless guy who only cares about money… Is that really what you think of me?” This time he sounded genuinely sad? When Harvey said that he’d come to your apartment to talk about that morning, you thought he was gonna reprimand the shit out of you for disrespecting him ⎯ your sort of boss, a senior partner ⎯, but, apparently, he was asking about it on a more personal level. A level you’d never really thought played a part in your relationship with him.
“Oh, Harvey…”
“Be honest, please. I don’t want your pity. You don’t even know me all that well, so don’t try to minimize anything. I can take it.”
“That’s not what I was gonna do. And, trust me, you’re probably the last person in the world I’d pity.” You told him with a sly smile. “You’re right. I don’t know you all that well. Or, at least, I didn’t this morning. But I do know that you’re not heartless. Also, I was really out of line then, I’ve seen you fighting tooth and nail for a lot more than just money in that firm. You’re loyal to your firm and friends like no one else and, tonight, I watched you sitting on the floor and playing with a little boy. And, trust me, that meant more to him than you’d ever know, especially after today… Anyways, what I’m really trying to say is that I was so damn wrong and that I’m sorry. I’d gotten some pretty nerve-racking news beforehand, not that that’s an excuse but...” You told him, meaning every word and trying hard to show how much you regretted your previous actions.
“Wait, what news?”
“Ah, it’s nothing for you to worry about, really.” You tried to brush him off.
“Oh, c’mon! You said all those nice things about me, but when it comes to your life and your problems you still don’t trust me, isn’t that right?” His tone was sharply inexpressive, but his eyes showed he was actually hurt.
“What are you talking about? Oh my God, Harvey! I’ve relied on you for a number of cases that I really cared about! I let you in on my apartment! I let you spend an entire night around my nephew! Of course, I trust you!”
“Then what the hell is the problem? You think I’m not gonna give a damn about your family issues? Is that it? Because I am literally begging you to tell me about them!”
“I don’t wanna tell you because I don’t want you, or anyone else on the firm, to think that I’m some pathetic little girl who uses her family issues as an excuse to get out of a tough fight.” You confessed in a lower tone, slightly embarrassed, just hoping he would understand and stop poking. “Things are very different when you’re a woman, you know…”
“I would never think that about you. Family is important. Especially if it’s made of people like Henry…” He said, reassuring you, even though there was a hint of sadness in his voice. “Besides, you said you trust me, so you need to trust me when I say that I wouldn’t betray you by telling people about your problems. I’m not here as your boss, (y/n). I just wanna help you.” He sounded so sincere and, if you were being honest with yourself, you kinda really needed to vent.
“Okay, um, where to start? I have two sisters: Henry’s mother, Kat, and a fifteen-year-old, Lisa. I’m the older one of all three of us. Lisa’s sick, like very sick, so my parents, who are both retired, are with her at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, to try and get her better. In the meantime, Kat was supposed to go to college, as well as care for her son, between my parents and me, she wouldn’t even need to provide for them or anything. But, a while ago, she overdosed for the first time. That’s when we found out about her addiction. We’ve already tried a million different things but nothing works. So, my parents and I threatened to make her lose her parental rights over Henry, hoping that it’d be a wake-up call for her, but it backfired. She just took the boy and disappeared, then today I get that call, from the police department, saying that she was in custody for drug distribution and endangering the well-fare of a minor. They asked me to go pick my nephew and, maybe, get Kat a lawyer.” And, just like that, you’d told Harvey Specter, of all people, everything. Tears rolling down your cheeks and him pulling you into a hug.
If anyone had told you that that was how your night was gonna go, you would have definitely laughed them out of the room. But now, just sitting there, being held and caressed by Harvey, as you let your armor down, it was finally beginning to look like things were gonna be okay. 
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yutahoes · 3 years
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Music, Dance
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loosely inspired by the lyrics of Music, Dance by NCT 127
pairing : gunman! Yuta x stripper! Reader
genre : smut, slight fluff
warning : Alcohol, Lap Dance, Slight striptease, Teasing, Lots of hickeys, Breast fondling and sucking, Oral - Female and Male Receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Gun, Mention of killings, Drugs, Cursing
(I would also like to warn you about a badly written scenario with a badly written smut 😅)
word count : 5.5k
(Please forgive me. I went all out and crazy over this 😭)
summary : You are his star, the hottest, the shiniest. He is your music, the only one you wanted to dance to.
For @neosmutcollective ‘s 3rd Event: Risqué
She's the star. The gem shining brighter than the lights illuminating the place. 
And his gaze can't leave her. 
The way she walked to the platform, full of confidence with a cocky expression, attracted him. She knew full well that all eyes were on her. And they are, as they should be. 
She smiled at the people before holding the pole on stage, swaying her hips along with the bass music booming through the speakers. The flickering lights made her sultry movements shine. Her haughty smile at the men who crave for her, made him breathless. As her body swayed on the music, she playfully attempted to remove her red brassiere which made the men holler. 
Who wouldn't? She's perfect. Her voluptuous body. Her sinful movements. She's addicting to look at. A real jewel. Her eyes caught his and she winked, making him smirk. A strain on his pants is evident. All this, because of her. Only her. 
His star. 
--
She smiled the moment she came inside the door of the private room. "You're here…" she started, strutting in red high heels. "Senpai." 
Yuta smirked. He might be here too often. But can he blame himself when this is the only place he can go tonight? "You don't like it?" She laughed, sitting beside him on the red velvet couch. She poured beer on his half-filled glass, drinking some and leaving a red lipstick mark on the glass then handing it to him. "You're wearing lipstick tonight." He claimed, drinking beer on the same glass. 
"I'm not in the mood for some action." She rolled her eyes, standing up. He watched as she sway her hips, walking in her red high heels to where the audio player of the room is. "The usual, isn't it?" She didn't wait for his answer as she played a sultry song with piano and keyboards in the background. He leaned on the couch, putting down the glass of beer to fully focus on her.  
The girl went up to the table, her heels clicking across the hard wood while slowly turning around the pole of said table. Her eyes stared at him, those black orbs pulling him in. Sensually, she swayed her hips downward. Her fingers majestically grasping the pole. He was enticed. Her seductive gaze. Her haughty expression. It made his pants tighter.
Noticing this, she raised an eyebrow then parted her legs in front of him while sitting on the edge of the table. She stretched one leg, her heel gliding to his thigh to his crotch. Yuta gasped. “Do you like this, senpai?” Her voice was low, laced in sex. She played with the bulging in his pants using her foot as he closed his eyes in pleasure.  
The music stopped that made her chuckle. "It’s three am, I'm done.” He’s close. Too close. “Do you need anything else?" He glared at her. She's really something. “Next time, come earlier.” She said with a smirk then showed her palm. Yuta was chuckling as he opened his wallet to pull some cash as a tip for her but she took some more from his wallet that made him shake his head. “I’ll wait for you, senpai.” She winked before standing up and walking out of the door. 
Yuta shook his head, chuckling to himself. She’s one of a kind. 
--
"Where have you been?" Doyoung asked as soon as he entered the door to their hideout. "Taeyong hyung is looking for you." 
Yuta dropped his keys on the table, opening the suitcase full of armed weapons. He took one gun, reloading some bullets. "Where?" 
"27th street," Doyoung said while looking at his computer, "12th building." The older smirked, cocking the gun he's holding. "Are you going to bring just that?" Yuta pointed his gun to the dummy on the side, pulling the trigger that the bullet shot through the middle of the dummy's forehead. 
Things were pretty bad in the 12th building. But he's not a hired gunman if he ran away. It was just two big men, why is Taeyong so scared of them? Without even a sweat, he shot both guys on the head. "Where were you?" The leader asked, getting the suitcase full of money then another suitcase with the drugs in it. "Are you with that girl again? I swear Yuta, one day I will hunt that girl down…" 
He pointed the gun on Taeyong's head, "Do that TY, and I swear the next bullet I'll shoot will be in your brain."
"So you're already crazy for this girl?" He teased but Yuta just glared at him. "Call Jaehyun, ask him to clean this up." The gunman hissed. He hated this. 
--
The next time came earlier than expected. There wasn’t much to do in the organization anyways so he watched her in her stuff, being other men’s eye candy. The thought that these sleazy men were putting their hands on her made his blood boil that he’s suddenly annoyed now. Should he kill someone today? He's been in a sour mood lately. 
“You’re early.” The girl teased as she entered the door in her red ensemble and high heels. Her lips were flaming red that made him hiss, no action. “You look unwell.” 
She swayed her hair as she opened the audio player for another instrumental music. “I’m not in a good mood today.” She turned to him, her tongue swiping along her bottom lip. 
“I can change that.” She smirked then knelt on the couch that she’s sitting on his lap. “Can you pay extra today?” Yuta nodded and she smiled. “Remove my lipstick,” she ordered. He looked at her in confusion, why wear that if she wanted it removed? “Kiss me.” 
He smirked. “That’s against the club rules.” 
“I make my own rules.” Her voice is confident. She wanted this. “Kiss me, senpai.” He didn’t need to be told twice as he leaned in to place his lips on her. She rolled her eyes when he broke the kiss, “You kiss like a dad saying goodnight to his daughter.” She leaned in to suck his bottom lip, making Yuta gasp. Her lips were so soft, her tongue slithering inside him tasting like mint, lime, and alcohol. When she break away from the kiss, she tapped his cheek. “That is how you kiss.”
She really does know how to turn around someone’s mood. But had she done this with other guys? It’s against the rules to touch a dancer inappropriately. The reason why, even if he wanted to touch her, his hands remain on his side. Naturally, it’s also against the rules to kiss the dancer, moreover sex. And she’s willing to break those rules for some cash. Is she in dire need of money? 
“I still have my lipstick,” she said while swiping her thumb against her bottom lip, a faint red stain can still be seen. “This is trouble.” He looked curiously at her. But her, wearing lipstick is so hot. “I can’t mark you.” Her voice was low, seductive. 
“Why not?”
Her lips were automatically placing small kisses on his jaw. “Your wife will see.” Yuta laughed, funny of her to think that he has a wife. "You don't? A girlfriend then?" He shook his head. 
She looked surprised and he chuckled. "Why would I be here if I have a girlfriend?" 
She raised an eyebrow at that. "You'll be surprised at how many guys here have girlfriends and wives." She sat properly to face him. "So have you danced before?" Yuta gave her a curious look. Danced? "Don't tell me you're a virgin, senpai." 
Is that what it meant? He smirked, shaking his head. "Have you danced before?" 
She beamed at that. "That's my job." She leaned closer, her lips on his neck. She sucked on his skin, letting her tongue lick the spot before kissing it. "Maybe you just need to find the correct music to dance along." She did the same to the other side of his neck, him groaning at the warmth of her mouth. 
The girl had to smile at her masterpiece, giggling at the purple marks she did to him. "It's three am. Your time is up." Her fingers trailed from his neck down to his clothed chest then to the tent of his pants, taking time in playing with his growing bulge. "You have to go back before those marks disappear, senpai." 
But his focus was on her middle finger rubbing the tip of his clothed member. He muttered a breathy curse that made her smile. Her fingers moved up to his torso that made him open his eyes. "I'll see you soon, senpai." She sucked on his bottom lip while standing up. The lack of contact made him sigh, breathing heavily as she walked out the door. 
He wanted her, so bad. 
--
The guys were staring at his neck when Yuta entered their safehouse, grinning like wolves to themselves. "What?" He asked, pissed off, then sat on the vacant spot on the chair next to Jaehyun.
Taeyong just shook his head before handing out his phone to Johnny and Doyoung. "Get ready for our next transaction two days from now." It was passed to both Jaehyun and Yuta that made the latter surprised. 
"Club Fancy?" He asked which made Taeyong nod. 
Why there? Of all the clubs in town. Why does it have to be that club? "We need you there Yuta if something happens," Johnny ordered. And he wished nothing happened. He doesn't want anything bad to happen. Especially to her. 
--
The lights were flickering as different women grace the stage with their seductive moves. But none of them fascinate Yuta. Weirdly, there are five of them in one area, drinking slowly and cautious of the surrounding. Someone here is their enemy tonight. 
When the speakers boomed a sensual song and a silhouette of the girl on the platform can be seen, Yuta sighed. “They won’t come. Let’s go.” But the four just stare at him then at the girl who was shining under the spotlight. The Japanese man hissed as he sat down, why would she wear that set tonight? All black leather, with a garter belt and pantyhose, black stilettos showing off her confidence. She's out here to take everyone's attention. 
“That’s your girl?” Johnny asked and he glared at him. 
“Let’s have a little show,” Taeyong exclaimed and Jaehyun chuckled. 
Yuta was pissed off at this point. He’s sure they’re just teasing him. Is the transaction in this club even real? Instead of enjoying himself through her little striptease, he was more than worried. He doesn’t trust these guys. What if they do something to her? 
Her eyes were glancing around, illuminated by the stage lights, as if looking for someone. Her gaze kept on looking at the area where he usually sits alone. A warm feeling crept up his body. Is she looking for him? Surprisingly, his eyes met hers and she smirked before twirling around the pole to give attention to other men worshipping her on her feet. She is. 
Once the set was finished, he told them to leave already but it was Johnny who teased that he just wanted a private time with ‘his girl’. That sounded nice. But she’s not his. 
She passed by their table with other girls and her manager but she stopped in front of them. "Senpai," she greeted that made the other guys snicker. "You're back early," Yuta smirked at her. "And you brought friends." Her eyes traveled on each of his colleagues' faces as if memorizing it. 
"It's an official business." 
"Here?" She asked then raised an eyebrow at him. "And I thought I could spend some alone time with you." She said loud enough for the other guys to hear. They only smiled knowingly at that. 
Does she really have to do it today? But two can play this game. "You want to spend some alone time with me?" 
"Of course, you're my favorite." Damn it, she's so good. He smirked at that. Her favorite. "Finish your business. I'll see you at six am later." She flipped her hair before following the group of girls to the other table. Six am? The club is already closed at that time. 
Fuck, he thought. "We need to finish early." 
--
It's two hours past the assigned time when the five decided to leave the club. Yuta's eyes wandered to her before leaving the club, another male's hand on her thigh that pissed him off. 
Taeyong stopped on his tracks when ten other guys, all clad in black, blocked their way. Yet, even if three of them are skilled in guns it's still no match to ten amateur shooters. Yuta was once again pissed off that he suffered a gunshot wound on his shoulder. Totally a first. 
He was lucky that police sirens can be heard that made everybody scram out of the place. Even if he wanted to come back inside, to make sure she's safe and to see her, he can't. Not when Johnny is already dragging him to the car while muttering how stupid it is that he got hurt. 
It annoyed him. Did he really think that he wanted this? What annoyed him the most is that he can't see her. Will she be waiting for him? Should he just go to the club and come clean to her? Tell her he's shot and maybe he can bring her to his place. But damn, with his injury he can't do anything with her. Why doesn't he even know anything about her? Name. Number. None. 
As much as it annoyed him, he waited until the bandages are gone and the wound is completely healed. Until he knew that he can hold her in his arms. He pondered whether to watch her perform, ask for a private lap dance once again, or just wait for her. Yet in the end, he wanted her alone so he waited until six am for her. Unsure if she’s here today. 
What should he tell her? Sorry that she had to wait. Did she wait? Tell her that he’s been shot. But she will surely ask what he does for a living, what happened. Is he ready to tell her everything? That he’s an evil man, a greedy man who kills people just to spend some time with her. 
There are two things that can happen when she finds out the truth. First, she’ll avoid him like the plague. He’s a dangerous man, he’ll understand. Second, she’ll stay and enter his world. And that scared him more. 
But when she went out of the club, he stopped then gaped at her. She looked different in the natural light, with less make-up and more clothes. If possible, she’s prettier. A contrast to the fox she is inside the club, an angel. In no time, he was out of his car that surprised her. She looked surprised. “Long time no see.” 
“Sorry.” The only thing he can mutter right now. “Things happened.” 
“What things?”
He can’t. If she finds out about it, she’ll be in trouble. He can’t risk that. “Just things.” He mumbled. She raised an eyebrow at him, arms crossed on her chest. “Do you need a ride home?”
A smirk appeared on her lips. “I think I want to ride something else.” Fuck, he really can’t escape her. 
--
Yuta wasn’t sure why of all the places, he brought her to his apartment. The girl marveled at how elegant everything looked, plopping herself on his couch. Yuta went to the kitchen to bring out two glasses and wine that made her giggle. Early morning and wine. “This is one amazing crib,” she exclaimed, eyes not leaving the interior of the house. “You’re a really wealthy man.” He shook his head. He’s not. “So what do you do for a living?” She asked casually, pouring wine on both glasses. 
“Things.” He took the glass of wine, drinking it without removing his eyes on her. He sat on the chair opposite her, the wooden coffee table separating them both.  
She smirked. "Will you tell me in exchange for something?" She asked in that haughty voice of her which made him nervous. Why is she so interested in the things he does? She arched her hips, pulling down her panty from under her skirt. He watched as she removed one leg then raised her other leg that has the fabric of her underwear, hanging on her foot. "So what do you do for a living, senpai?” 
Yuta laughed before taking her underwear then holding her foot. He kissed her calf, licking the skin where his lips were earlier. “I steal jewelry..” His kisses went up to her leg that he’s now kneeling in front of her. “I rob banks.” By now, his lips and tongue were on her thigh. “I deal with drugs.” 
He sucked on the skin near her throbbing core, his head under her pleated skirt. “I kill people.” A gasp can be heard but he wasn’t sure if it was because his tongue entered her or his confession. She tastes so good that it’s addicting. Her moans and her scent, indulging his senses. He held both her legs to wrap them around his head, pushing him further inside her. Her hands thread on his hair, tugging it and he smirked as he felt her clenching on him. 
He removed his tongue inside her then flicked her clit that earned a moan from her. She looked so erotic: hips arched, lips agape and, eyes closed. He wanted her real bad. He sucked on her clit, pushing a finger inside her to stimulate the spot that made her scream in no time. Her moans of pleasure were so stimulating that he pushed her to her limit. 
She shook in orgasm but he kept his finger inside her, even inserting another one. He sat on the table while watching her ride his fingers. “Senpai,” she said in a breathy moan. “Are you going to kill me?” Another finger was inserted and she grabbed his arm, the wounded arm from before. Yuta smiled, he’s relieved that he waited or else this will be trouble. Her nails dig on his flesh, turning him on. "Senpai," she called as her body squirmed for her second orgasm. 
Her breathing was ragged, heavy pants against his shoulder. “You’re really going to kill me.” 
Yuta laughed, a sound vibrating against the walls of the house. “I can’t do that to you.” The girl tapped the space on the couch next to her and Yuta obeyed, sitting next to her. She sat on his lap, her wet core rubbing against his thigh. “You really want to ride something else?” 
She grinned. “I feel safe in your lap.” That startled him. He’s not a safe man. There’s blood in his hands, a lot of people he killed. Her fingers grazed the scar on his arm. “Were you shot? That’s why it took a long time for you to come back to the club?” 
“Were you waiting?” 
“I wish you wouldn’t do something like this again.” Her lips hovering against his, “If I give you something, can you stop meeting with them?”  
Yuta smirked. She slowly removed her shirt, his hands traveling on her back and stopping to where her brassiere is. He marveled at how soft her skin is, that she is his for today. His mouth found her naked breasts, his hands on the curve of her waist. He didn't know how he managed to get her inside his room without breaking their steamy kiss but he did. A chuckle escaped his lips when she pushed him to bed, shimmying out of her skirt that she's naked now. She found her place on his lap once again, hands trailing under his shirt. 
He loved how dominant she looked while slowly removing his shirt, her fingers tracing the tattoo he had. "So hot." She whispered, licking his earlobe then heading south to trace the inks on his skin with her tongue. But she's hotter in this position that he can't help but jerk his hip up to grind on her. She moaned before licking the lines visible on his abdomen as her hands started unbuckling his belt. 
His remaining clothing was quickly discarded, his cherry cock springing hard for her. He watched as she rubbed her wet pussy lips against his length as if teasing him, staring in her haughty expression. Yuta groaned when she slowly sat on him, entering her core with ease. She's so wet and so tight. His self-control thinning out to not fuck her mercilessly on the mattress. She started riding him, controlling their thrusts. One hand was holding Yuta's chest for support, the other on the headboard as her body bounced above his. The man licked his lips. Her breasts jiggling at the motion, her mouth agape as soft whimpers can be heard, her eyes closed tight while her head rolled back. Fuck, she is so hot. 
He sat up, holding her waist to help her ride his cock while his mouth started to attack her mounds causing her to move forward. His cock hit a different angle that made her moans louder. He could feel her clenching on him that made him smirk. Already? Yuta started jerking his hip up, meeting her thrusts halfway that made her scream. His control is now gone. He just wanted her to orgasm, to make her shake in his arms. 
Her body was closer to his, nails digging on his shoulder that made him groan against her ear. She came with a shudder but he didn't stop thrusting inside her tight core. He could feel himself getting thicker by the second and with another thrust, came inside her. His lips were on her, whispering apologies for cumming inside her but she just shook her head, smiling at him. 
"Shouldn't I know your name by now?" She whispered, breathing heavily beside him. Her fingers started trailing the tattoo marks in his skin. "I can't call you senpai forever, you know?" 
Yuta chuckled at that. "If you find out my name, you wouldn't be able to escape me." 
"What if I don't want to escape?"
The guy smirked at her haughtiness. "Yuta," he whispered, lips hovering against her. "And I want you to shout that name when you cum." 
The girl giggled when he hovered above her in bed, his mouth started sucking supple marks on her skin. Her fingers thread on his hair, tugging on the strands as she kept on moaning his name over and over. It turned him on, knowing that it was her who's giving her this much. "Yuta." she whispered, “Please, Yuta." 
He started kissing her breasts then licking up to her neck. He held both her legs wrapping them on his waist before thrusting into her so deep that she screamed while fisting the bedsheets. "Now move, Yuta." He kept on slamming into her as she scratched his arm in pleasure, repeatedly whispering his name in every thrust. "Oh my God. Yuta!" She shouted while he kept hitting her pleasure spot, pushing his cock into her so deep that she started shaking in orgasm while calling for him. 
He kept giving her multiple orgasms in exchange for her calling his name, only his name as if chanting a magic spell. Yuta kept filling her up, kissing every skin in her body. He liked this feeling. That she's his. That they're the only ones who matter in the world. And he wished every day could be like this. He needed to stop working with them, put his life into order and get her out of the club. They can start a new life together and every day will be exactly like this. 
“Will you stop dancing in the club if I promise to stop doing this?” Her gaze on him was warm, looking surprised that he even said those words to her. “Let’s run away. Just you and me.” 
A heavy breath escaped her lips. "I can't." She nuzzled her head on his chest. "I still have to finish something." 
"Then I'll wait for you." 
--
He let her do what she wanted. He let her go her way, whatever she wanted, that's her. She knew where she's attracted. To the stage, with everyone's eyes on her. And Yuta had no problems with that. He'll wait for her, he promised that. 
"Why are you here?" She asked, smiling like a teenage school girl then running to him in her heels. "Did you miss me, Yuta?" she grinned, sitting on his lap. His hands were automatically on her waist, like previous nights when she did the same action. 
He thought he was okay with her like this. Clearly, he's not. 
His tongue darted out to lick a spot on her neck. "You have a hickey," he claimed while touching the spot he just licked, a faint purple bruise can be seen. 
She gulped hard. "The client paid extra so I thought it's alright." 
"Do you think it's alright?" She shook her head but he gripped her hair, pulling it. "You wanted to be a slut?" A glint appeared in her eyes and she nodded that surprised him. "Do you know what sluts do?" 
She gasped. "That's against club rules." 
"I'll pay extra since you love money so much." She gulped when he started unbuckling his belt, revealing his semi-hard cock. "Now, suck, my slut." She was kneeling in front of him. The warmth of her mouth engulfing him, the softness of her tongue in contrast with his hardness. Her hand gripped on the base of his cock as the other played with his balls. "Fuck, that's so good." He growled, tugging on her hair. 
She started using her tongue to lap him up from the shaft and tasting the precum seeping on his tip. Her hands started jerking his cock then licked the underside of his balls that made his eyes widened. Fuck, that is different. Where the hell did she learn all these techniques? A smirk appeared on her face when she returned to sucking his cock in such force that made him groan. He's so close. 
The girl started deep-throating him, pulling back then bobbing her head once again. Yuta groaned at the sensation when she bobbed her head faster, eager to get him to his release. "God." Yuta groaned, saliva dripping on his balls. "You're so good." His hand tightened on her hair as she deepthroats him once again, eyes rolling back as he felt his release that made his body tremble. 
She slurped his cum, even lapping up the tip of his cock to clean him up. He saw her gulp, swallowing the heavy load in her throat then placed a soft kiss on his cock. His thumb wiped her mouth and she sucked on the finger that made him smile. "That was the best blowjob ever." 
The girl licked her lips then smirked. "And it will cost you." Yuta took out his wallet but she slapped his hand, sitting on his lap once again. "You're gonna have to fill me up later." Is it a cum fetish? Why is she like this? 
Yuta nodded then leaned in to kiss her, tongue exploring her wet cavern. His phone rang that halted their make-out. What the hell? Why now? She stared at him and he just looked at his phone for a while, a message from Taeyong. 
He groaned which was immediately drowned by her lips, her hand taking his phone away. "What's your plan?" She whispered but he only stared at her when another message came. Taeyong gave the name of a building, telling him to come immediately. "Stay." 
"This is the last time." He kissed her once again. "I'll come back real quick." She called his name in a desperate attempt to stop him. "I promise, this is the last time." 
"Yuta, I have to tell you something." 
"Later." He kissed her again then springing into his feet, leaving her on the couch. "Wait for me." And he was out of the door in no time, phone on his ear.  
--
Another dealing and he didn't know exactly why the five of them were needed this time. When police sirens were heard, he already knew why. They're cornered. A total first. Who the fuck caused this? And why now? 
With Doyoung's quick thinking, he and Yuta had an escape on one of the backdoors. But the younger was easily caught by one of the armed men, even overhearing that they were caught because of Doyoung's phone. Yuta escaped outside, watching as the four were held by bulky policemen. This is bad. He even left his gun inside because of the commotion. 
"Stop right there.” He heard someone say. He was about to turn to know who it was when the voice continued, “Hands up.” followed by a clicking sound of a gun and cold metal on his nape. He followed the order, raising his hand above his head. A hand went on his waist as if looking for something that made him smirk, obviously a woman’s hand. 
“Go south. I might have been hiding something.” The metal behind him was pressed on the back of his head that made him chuckle. “I can give you a better night, you know?” 
“I know.” That voice. “Now move, Yuta.” Her. 
He was pushed on a wall, a gun still pointed at the back of his head. When he felt it gone, his hands were bound behind him as the cold metal can be felt on his wrists. Handcuffs. “Who are you exactly?” He wasn’t surprised when he turned to see who it was. Of course, it’s her. His star. "Is this your plan?" She remained expressionless, one hand getting out her phone while the other was on his chest to stop him from going somewhere. "All of this, pretending to be a stripper and fucking me, just to trap us? Am I an easy prey for you?" 
There was surprise in her features as she looked at him. "No, Yuta. You're not." She returned her phone back to her pocket. "You weren't our target at first but you made connections with the syndicate we're after and now, the five of you are under the radar." She explained. "I did warn you to stop meeting up with them." He rolled his eyes at that. "We should be at your place right now if you just did your promise." 
Now that he's staring, he can’t deny that she looks so good in her ponytail and black ensemble. Red lips ruining his focus as his mind whirled on those soft plump lips marking his skin. Her soft skin on his fingertips. Her warmth felt through his body. She looks different when she's serious, more charming. Hotter, even. “I genuinely like you.” 
She stepped closer and his heart skipped a beat at her scent. She’s still addicting. “So do I, Yuta.” 
"Then you should let me go." 
She shook her head. "They already saw you." Her fingers trailed from his shoulder to his chest, making him smirk. “Don’t worry. Please bear with this for a while, I’ll make sure that they will treat you well.” He raised an eyebrow at that, looking skeptical at her words. Can he still trust her? But she leaned closer, her lips sucking on a spot on his neck that made him groan. “You will miss me while in prison." She touched the hickey she just made. "So I guess I’ll have to see you before these marks disappear from your neck.” 
"You can do that?" 
"Be a good boy and I'll just might do that." He can see people walking to where they are. "I might even help you get out of prison." 
"Why are you helping me?" He asked but the girl smirked at him, "You're my music, senpai." 
“Miss Y/N.” A policeman greeted her with a salute. Yuta realized that this was the first time he heard her name. She nodded before two guys held his arm, dragging him away from her. “Chief has been looking for drug organizations for so long. It only needs her so they can get more information for other organizations.” One guy said to the other. 
“Chief was right to name her the star of the police force.” The other claimed. 
Yuta smiled. His gaze fell to her, watching as she was standing in front of someone in another police uniform. She turned to him and their eyes met that instant. Yuta smirked when she winked at him. Truly, one of a kind.   
His star. His music. 
He hoped he could dance with her again. 
478 notes · View notes
luminnara · 3 years
Text
God Damn, Shit Sucking Vampires | Poly lost boys x oc CH 9
(oops no gif because the ones i want won’t upload right now)
Just as a reminder, lost boys requests are OPEN!
Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10
Tags:  @americancowgirl19 @ilikechocolatemilkh
Warnings: Blood, gore, vampire things
Hearing a strange voice in her head nearly drove Vera into a panic. When she realized she was hearing Max, she nearly flew into a second panic, the sire’s strong, firm voice only reassuring her that all of her fears were correct and he wasn’t going to like her very much. 
As she walked along the beach, bare toes sinking into the sand, Dwayne at her side, Vera briefly wondered how hard it would be to kill Max if it came down to a struggle. Did she have a chance against him? Maybe, if she stooped low enough to cry for her own sire, he would come and take care of it—
“Hey, chill out,” Dwayne said, stopping and turning towards her slightly. “What’s wrong?”
She realized she had halted and was simply standing there, staring at nothing as her mind raced. He could probably feel how freaked out she was getting, and as she looked at him, she found a gentle, understanding expression on his face. 
“C’mere,” he said, his voice low and rumbly and comforting. 
He opened his arms in invitation and she dove right in, moving quickly and desperately enough that she knocked him right onto his ass. He landed in the sand with a laugh, situating the two of them so that she could sit in his lap and they could face the dark, never ending ocean. 
“Did Max freak you out?” Dwayne asked as Vera tucked her head under his chin. 
“...a little.” 
“Why?”
She sighed. Something about Dwayne made her feel so safe that she was actually considering talking with him about things she hadn’t even told David yet. “Because I’m not used to this. I’m used to vampires who want me out of their territory the second I even get close, and I can’t really blame them.”
“This is your territory, too.” He said. “You’re the one who’ll be kicking people out of it now.”
“I don’t think Max is going to like me.” She grumbled. 
“Why not?”
She was quiet for a moment, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. “Because he’ll see me as a threat.”
“Max isn’t like that.”
“You’re just saying that now because he’s your sire.”
“No, I’m saying it because I mean it.” Dwayne rested his cheek on the top of her head, his hand absentmindedly rubbing circles on her back. “Max wants a family. Now you’re part of that family.”
He sounded so sure of his own words that Vera was actually feeling inclined to believe him for a moment. “Parents don’t tend to like me.”
“Anyone who can handle having Paul in their pack can handle you.”
She scoffed. “He isn’t that bad.”
“Maybe to you.” Dwayne chuckled. He tightened his arms around her when he realized that his jokes weren’t very reassuring. “Max is a good man. A good sire.”
“Why?” Vera asked. “What does he do that makes you like him so much?”
“Well,” Dwayne situated them a bit better, getting more comfortable. “He’s fair. He acts stern, but...he sees himself as our father.”
“Don’t they always?” Vera grumbled. 
“He calls David his prodigal son, but he always wanted a whole family. He ended up with the four of us.”
“So, what? He plucked you all up out of the gutter and that makes him a good guy?”
“Why are you so determined to hate him?”
“I’m not!” she protested. “I’m just...wary.”
“Max gave us new lives.” Dwayne sighed. “He found us back in San Francisco after we got ourselves in some trouble with another vampire.”
Vera had to snort in amusement at that. “Seriously? Who’d you pick a fight with? Dracula?”
“Well…”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
He flashed her a smile. “How were we supposed to know who he was?”
“Humans really have no self preservation instincts, do they?”
“Apparently not.” Dwayne chuckled, squeezing her. 
“How long ago was it?”
“1906, same year as that big earthquake. Tore the whole city apart...it was the perfect time for four vampires to start learning how to survive, with all that chaos. People were dead, more were missing...nobody noticed a few more disappearing here and there.”
“Is that why Max and, uh...Vlad were there?” Vera asked. 
“I imagine.” Dwayne shrugged. “We resisted at first. David was especially pissed off.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” Vera laughed quietly. 
“But...we took to the lifestyle pretty quickly.”
“And that’s that?” Vera asked. 
“That’s that.” he shrugged. “Max wants to be a father figure. He turned David because he wanted a son, and he taught him everything he knew. Then, he decided David needed companions, and he happened to find me not long after. Then the others. Max isn’t a bad guy, Vera. You’ll see.”
“That’s what everybody says about their own sire.” she said, looking out at the black waves as they crashed against the sand just a few feet in front of her. “Everyone wants to talk their sires up, because without them, we’re nothing. Just because your own sire is nice to you doesn’t mean he’ll be nice to me.”
“What’s so bad about your own that you think ours is so awful?”
The question hung in the air for a moment, Vera’s mouth pressing into a thin line. “Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Dwayne opened his eyes, rubbing his cheek over the top of her head affectionately. 
“I’m not.”
“I know that you are, though.”
Vera let out a frustrated noise, then heaved a sigh. Maybe talking about this could be good for her. Maybe verbalizing thoughts and fears that she’d been living with for centuries could finally help her get over them...and if anyone was a good listener, it would be Dwayne. 
“Okay, fine.” she said. “What’s so bad about my sire? Everything. Everything is what’s bad about him, literally.”
“Where’s he from?” Dwayne asked. 
“The old country. Like...the old old country.”
“Why are you so reluctant to talk about him?” Dwayne’s voice was low and gentle, barely audible over the sound of the waves. 
“Because he’s got a reputation.” she fiddled with the hem of her shorts. “Most older vampires know of him. You guys might not, and if we had a different situation, I’d say it should stay that way.”
“That serious, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“Hmm.” Dwayne’s chest rumbled. “The others should hear about this, too.”
“Yeah, they should.” she sighed again, her voice small. She felt small in general, all curled up in Dwayne’s lap like that. Small and helpless. She wasn’t, though, and she didn’t want them to think that she was. So she cleared her throat, trying to muster as much confidence as she could, ignoring the mild twisting in her gut. “I’ll tell you guys everything tomorrow night.”
Dwayne made a small, impatient sound. 
“Max will want to hear, too.”
“That’s a good point,” he admitted. “You know, I still need to hunt for you…”
Vera perked up slightly. The thought of food made the tight feeling in her chest loosen up slightly, and she looked at Dwayne eagerly. “Yes, please.”
He laughed, wrapping his arms around her as he stood and set her back on her feet. “Then let’s go find some snacks, Princess.”
-0-
“You know, we don’t have to do this. We could just go back to the cave--”
“What happened to that tough attitude you had a few days ago?” David raised an eyebrow, looking amused as he pulled Vera off the back of his bike.
“I’m still tough,” she growled, knowing that he could very easily feel how nervous she was. 
“Come on, babe,” Paul parked his bike next to David’s and bounded over to her. “You’ll be fine.”
“We’d never let anything happen to ya,” Marko said, following Paul. 
Vera knew he was telling the truth, but it didn’t make her feel any better. She had barely slept the entire day, waking up restless and on edge as soon as the sun disappeared, and it had taken a good deal of coaxing from David to even get her to leave the roost. They took Star and Laddie to the boardwalk, dropped them off with some cash, and then headed off to Max’s house.
David told Vera along the way that Star and Laddie weren’t allowed to know where Max lived. They really weren’t allowed to know anything about him in general, in order to protect him, so when the pack walked up to the front gate of their sire’s home, it was only the four boys who accompanied Vera. She didn’t mind; having Star around would have only put her more on edge, probably, and she had been glad to leave the halfling behind. 
As she faced the gated bridge that led to Max’s completely normal-looking, Californian home, Vera did everything she could to act confident. She squared her shoulders, held her chin up, and pretended that she had nothing to worry about...but the boys could see right through the facade, and as they joined her, they all fell into a little formation. In moments, Vera was surrounded by them, David offering his arm while the others stepped into their spots behind. It made her feel better, knowing that they were all there to protect her...but at the same time, she still wished they were all out wandering the boardwalk. 
“So brave,” David sneered as she took his arm. 
“Shut up.” she growled, vaguely aware of Dwayne’s hand on her lower back. 
“Relax,” Marko purred. 
“Don’t you dare tell me to relax, Marko, I swear—“
The barking of a rapidly approaching dog interrupted her, the sound of paws thumping rhythmically against the wooden walkway drawing her attention away from the boys. A big white hellhound was barreling towards the gate, all teeth and rage, and although it looked like it wanted to tear her limbs off, the sight of such a beast made Vera temporarily forget why she was so anxious. Even as it barked and snarled and threw itself against the gate, she thought that it was absolutely adorable.
“Oh, look at you!” She squealed as the boys all jumped back. When she took a step forward, David tried to yank her towards him, but she slipped away easily, too focused on this hellhound to care. 
“You’re such a big handsome boy,” she said, in a voice that made Paul jealous. 
“No fair,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “Why’s the dumb dog get all that?”
Marko glanced at the taller blond nervously. “Don’t call him dumb, you remember what happened last time?”
Paul groaned, rolling his eyes at the memory of nearly losing a hand. 
The dog stopped barking as Vera approached, falling silent as it sniffed the air around her. The vicious look on its face was gone, replaced by curiosity, and when Vera ignored David’s irritated warnings and reached over the gate to pet it, the animal whined. 
“You must be Thorn,” Vera cooed, scratching behind its ears. “What a big, brave, hell-y hellhound you are, yes you are!”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Paul said as he watched. 
“What?” Vera asked, looking over her shoulder at him. 
“Thorn doesn’t like any of us.” Marko huffed. “Why’s he like you so much?”
“Well...he can probably smell my sire on me,” Vera said. “Might remind him of home. Hellhounds usually like me because of that.”
“...Home?” Paul asked. 
“I’ll tell you later.”
“But I wanna know now!” he whined.
Thorn growled at him. 
“Thorn!” a male voice called from the other end of the little bridge. 
Vera immediately stiffened. The front door of the house had opened, and in it stood a man, wearing a very stylish suit and horn rimmed glasses. Thorn heeded his master’s call, giving Paul one last woof before trotting back towards Max. His departure freed the front gate, and David brushed past Vera to open it, taking her hand and leading the gang across the walkway. 
“Boys,” Max greeted as they approached him. He offered David a stern smile, one which David didn’t return, and when Max’s eyes fell upon Vera all tucked up against his side, his eyes narrowed slightly. “And you must be Vera.”
She didn’t like that he knew her name. It was inevitable that he’d find out what it was, but still...she kept clinging to the hope that maybe, he wouldn’t learn too much about her. The boys seemed so convinced that Max was just an annoying father, but as Vera took him in, she could see that behind the trendy, 80s-dad facade, there was an old, powerful vampire, and those were the kind she didn’t get along with very well. 
“Well, come in, everyone, before dinner gets cold. I made sure to get all your favorites, boys.” Max stepped to the side, inviting them over the threshold in a very courteous way, one that suggested he had nothing to fear from the boys or Vera.
“You shouldn’t have,” David sneered sarcastically as he walked in. 
“Would it kill you to be nice?” Vera hissed. 
He rolled his eyes.
Max noticed the exchange with a bemused expression on his face. “Go on in and sit down. The table’s already set.”
The house was nice. It wasn’t incredibly extravagant, by any means, but it was perfectly well decorated, modern art that Vera didn’t quite know how to appreciate hanging on the walls. Everything was clean and organized, not a speck of dust in sight, as opposed to the state of decay the boys kept their lair in. Max seemed to enjoy playing the role of a video store owner, and his home reflected that; if anyone came to visit, they wouldn’t see a single item out of place, nor would they have any reason to be suspicious of him. There were no torture devices, no loose vials of blood sitting around, no skulls or human skin nailed up. It looked so...normal. 
Vera almost stopped to wonder why exactly she was so nervous...and then she heard the whimpering.
“Geez, Max,” Paul remarked as they rounded the corner and entered the dining room, “you really shouldn’t have.”
“Well, fresh caught is always the best,” Max said. “Don’t you agree?”
“Hell yeah,” Marko growled, lips pulled back in a grin. 
The dining room table was covered in an array of meats, from a suckling pig in the center to a rack of ribs at the end. Six chairs surrounded the feast, plates and cutlery set out at each spot, with big glass goblets already half full of blood ready and waiting. Next to each chair stood a human, frozen due to both fear and Max’s vampire magic, a couple of them shaking and considerably more conscious than the others. 
Max walked to his place at the head of the table, Thorn at his side as he took his seat. David sat at the far end, facing him, his eyes dark and hungry as he held himself back. Dwayne sat at David’s left side, Vera at his right, while Paul and Marko took the remaining two chairs and tried not to completely lose their minds. They were shaking almost as much as the humans were, Paul looking at his blood donor eagerly while Marko held a little sneer on his face that suggested he was about ten seconds from ripping his apart.
“Dig in, everyone,” Max said, taking his cloth napkin and tucking it into his shirt collar. “But please try not to make a mess. There’s more than enough here for each of you.”
David immediately grabbed the arm of his meal, sinking his fangs in and taking a drink while Max preferred to drain his into the goblet he had set out for himself. Vera could only watch, stunned, as the carnage began, and before long, she was joining in. The human Max had caught for her was a middle aged clergyman, and she had to tear through his holy sleeve to get to his flesh. 
She didn’t mind, though; she very rarely ever got to eat members of the clergy. They were generally too much work to hunt down, and since she had an aversion to churches, well...like most vampires, she tended to leave them alone. It was hard to nab them without making a spectacle and letting the entire town know that something was amiss. So, all things considered, a little bit of extra work involving a mouthful of fabric was worth it. This was like a special treat for her, and she couldn’t help but drain him all in one go, still holding on even after he had collapsed in a bloodless heap on the floor. 
When she looked up, she realized that Max was watching her. 
“So,” he said, speaking over the hellish sounds of the others slurping up their meals, “I believe some congratulations are in order. Welcome to the family, Vera.”
She swallowed her last mouthful of blood and looked at him. “Uh...thanks. I-I mean, thank you.”
Max picked up his silverware, cutting a slice of ham for himself. “Where are you from, Vera?”
“I wander,” she said, following suit and stabbing her fork into a raw steak. 
“I’ve surmised that much,” Max chuckled good-naturedly. “I meant where are you from originally.”
“...oh.” She cleared her throat somewhat awkwardly. “Italy.”
“Italy!” Max exclaimed. “Such a lovely region. I haven’t visited The Mediterranean since I left the old country myself. If I didn’t have the shop here, perhaps I’d take a trip...have you been back recently?”
“No,” she crossed and uncrossed her legs, trying to act like she wasn’t fidgeting. She took a bite of her steak, focusing on the blood as it trickled down her throat. 
Max reached for his goblet, raising the blood to his lips and taking a drink. “And your sire, is he still in Europe?”
Vera almost choked on her food. 
By this point, the boys were all watching. Paul was licking blood off his lips while Marko still had his dinner’s forearm in his mouth, but David and Dwayne were both focused solely on the conversation at hand, their eyes narrowed slightly as they listened. 
When she realized that everyone was waiting, Vera coughed into her fist, clearing her throat. “Y-yes, he is.”
Max’s eyes darkened, despite the smile on his face. “You know you need to tell me about him, Vera.”
“There’s not much to tell,” she lied, turning back to her steak. “Just an ancient vampire, out there in the old country. Not very exciting.”
“Exciting or not, I’d still prefer to know who he is.” Max said. 
She shrugged, reaching for her glass to take a nervous drink. “I doubt you’d know him.”
“When you drink that blood, you’ll be joining our family.”
She froze, hand on the stem of the glass.
“I’m sure your sire will be able to feel it. I’d hate to be rude and not even know his name in the event he visits one day.”
Vera stared at the blood—Max’s blood—as her fingers tightened around the stem. “You don’t want him to visit.”
“Oh?” Max asked, appearing as relaxed as ever. “Why not?”
“Because of who he is.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “And what he can do.”
Dwayne and David glanced at each other. 
When Max spoke again, his voice was softer, gentler than before. “What is your sire’s name, Vera?”
With a great deal of effort, she opened her eyes again, still staring into the blood rather than at any of them. 
“Asmodeus.” She said. “My sire is Asmodeus.”
151 notes · View notes
bokettochild · 3 years
Text
Tired Feet and Nimble Fingers
Sooo.....
I wrote more Ravio fics. This is one of two, the second one still needs to be reread and checked for errors, but rest assured to whomever requested a fic for Ravio getting some fussing, I nearly killed the kid for you :)
Mr. Hero had nice hands.
Oh sure, they were rather thin, and a bit knobby at the knuckles, aged in a way most people their age would not understand for decades yet, but they were nimble, quick, and forever flitting from one thing to another with the easy grace of a person who’s done everything with their life except sit still and rest.
Mr. Hero’s hands were worn and aged but feather light in their touch and still impossibly firm when he’d grab Ravio by the scarf and pull him down the one inch that was between the two of them so he could glare at him for one thing or another. Honestly, he rarely really did anything questionable, but the ever irritated “Why?” that Mr. Hero always shot at him when he raised the price of an item or tacked on another fee, be it emotional repercussions charges for tending his wounds, or a petty increase when he’d been made to actually worry for someone else, or even in the rare instance when Mr. Hero managed to actually make him angry. Either way, soft or firm, Mr. Hero had nice hands, and on the rare instance Ravio had actually seen him remove his rings (Mr. Hero had complained of swelling, and had nearly had to pry them off) he always smiled at the sight of them.
Was that weird? Probably. But there was a lot you could tell about a person by their hands, and Mr. Hero’s told the story of someone who gave and fought for others since he’d been able, and even if the caring person hid behind the shadows of his bangs or the icy pain in his eyes, Ravio knew that person was still in there.
And at times like this, he got to actually see it.
“What are you doing?” The merchant shifted uncomfortably, glancing down at the other end of the couch where Mr. Hero had been sitting since he’d stumbled through the door with a tired groan. He’d collapsed onto the couch not long after, drenched and covered in mud, and it had been all Ravio could do to convince him to shed his extra layers and change into something clean, at least. Sure, he’d had to actually dig through the scant wardrobe in the bedroom to find something, but once the over-sized tunic had been shoved in the veteran hero’s face, he’d agreed to strip off his wet things, and Ravio had given him the space to do so while he’d made some warm cocoa for the two of them.
He would have preferred cider, but Mr. Hero still refused to share the recipe with him.
Now, however, he’d flopped onto the couch himself, uncaring for the fact that he’d had to settle his legs in the lap of his friend. After all, if Mr. Hero minded, he would have pushed him off. As was though, the pink-haired teen was staring at his feet with no small amount of displeasure, and Ravio was half considering pulling them back to himself and resigning himself to just curling up on the couch into one corner so he could give the other boy his space.
Firm hands latched around his boot, tugging with a small grunt and surprising the merchant greatly. “Mr. Hero, I just-”
“No shoes.” The pink-haired hero huffed. “Not on the couch.”
“Says the one who trudges dirt all over my freshly cleaned floors!” Ravio huffed, trying not to wiggle too much as Mr. Hero not only pulled off his shoes but, after making a disgusted face at the smell of his feet, had also yanked his socks off, throwing them over to the pile of sopping laundry on the floor. Ravio made a note to pick that up and help wash it later.
“My floors.” Mr. Hero corrected him, tugging the towel Ravio had given him earlier off of his shoulders and wiping its wet ends over the merchant’s feet, making him stiffen. “It’s my house I’ll have you know.”
“Mr. Hero, are you- are you cleaning my feet?”
“It’s not like you ever do it, when’s the last time you bathed, you filthy bunny?”
“Two days ago.” Ravio huffed into his cocoa, savoring the taste and the thrum of warmth that bloomed in his chest both at the drink and the sensation of Mr. Hero’s nimble fingers helping to clean the grime from his, admittedly, filthy feet. “More recently than you, I daresay, Mr. Hero.”
“I just showered.” Violet eyes flitted up to meet his as Mr. Hero motioned to the door ad likely the stormy weather outside.
“That doesn’t count!”
“It does for me.”
“When did you last bathe? With soap?”
Mr. Hero didn’t answer, instead continuing to rub the dirt and dust off the bottoms of his house-mate's feet with the wet towel. Ravio hmphed. A fight for another day then, it isn’t as if he had the energy to draw a bath and push his friend into it anyways.
A delightful, rough sensation rubbed over the base of his foot, firm and still somehow incredibly relaxing, and the bunny merchant found himself torn between sinking into the cushions with a sigh as some of the pain in his limbs faded and staring down at Mr. Hero to see what had been done. In the end, he’d sunk into the cushions of the couch, lids fluttering as a heavy sigh pulled itself from his lungs. “What-”
“You’re as tight-string as my gran’s horses.” Mr. Hero drawled, and the sensation repeated itself, warm pressure sliding across the ridge of his foot. “This used to work on my uncle, relax.”
It took longer than necessary to actually realize that his friend was rubbing his feet, but Ravio was too warm and comfortable to really care, especially with how sore the appendages in question had been with scurrying here and there over the last few days tending to the shop.
Mr. Hero’s hands were miracle workers, and Ravio was hardly even awake when the veteran hero had finally stopped with his self-assigned task, pushing himself up and leaving Ravio to stretch out over the length of the couch. All the merchant could register was the increase of weight on top of him, the clinking of two empty mugs being placed in the kitchen sink, and the door creaking open.
He never felt the draft when Mr. Hero left back into the outside world to continue his quest, but when he woke the next morning, it was to find the hero’s favorite blanket spread out over the top of him and a fresh pair of fuzzy socks slipped over his clean and no longer painfully tense feet.
“Ravio, sit.” Mr. Hero groaned, leaning back on the couch and pinned in place by the sailor using his legs as a back rest. “If you don’t, I swear I’m going to have Twilight throw you at the couch!”
The merchant in question pouted, he’d been trying his best to tidy the living room, after all, Mr. Hero and his family had been quite unexpected that evening and the place was, unfortunately, a mess. One had to take inventory now and again, and the sad fact of it was that that required pulling everything off the shelves and out of storage and from around the house to count it up and figure out if he should risk attempting to return to Lorule or attempting to work Mr. Hero’s small smithy out back in order to restock his items.
He’d only counted up everything and had been working on cleaning and polishing his various items when the heroes had come knocking at the front door, and then he’d been so busy helping them warm up from the chill (they were all wearing the scarves he’d given them and it pleased him to no end) and making a meal with Mr. Hero that he’d been left unable to finish gathering the things that had been scattered across the floor. Of course, after dinner was finished, he’d set right to it, but now that everyone was settled around the fire with warm mugs in hand and fluffy scarves around their necks, Mr. Hero seemed to only be agitated by his puttering about and moving everything again.
To be fair, he hadn’t stopped moving for the last thirty minutes since the others had helped gather his things back up so they could sit, but there was so much to put away!
“Mr. Hero, I still-”
“Sit.” Mr. Hero squeaked grouchily, earning a few giggles as Mr. Rancher and Mr. Chosen Hero exchanged glances, smiles wide. “My feet hurt just from looking at you.”
Like it or not, Ravio’s ears were already pricking up at those words.
Since that first time, Mr. Hero had done him the favor of massaging his feet after a hard day many times, and as much as Ravio didn’t want to expect it of him, it was incredibly nice to have someone fuss over him, if only for a little bit, and if there was even a chance that it would happen again, well...
It was entirely intentional that he flopped onto the couch, feet resting easily in Mr. Hero’s lap as he stretched out. He could have sat down, he really could, but the fact of it was that he simply didn’t want to. Fortunately, Mr. Hero didn’t seem to mind, and too the merchants delight his friend immediately started pulling off his shoes with the same old familiar huff and wrinkling of his button nose, tossing the shoes as far away as possible to avoid having to remain in contact with them for long.
It was a practiced and much appreciated ritual that was Mr. Hero helping him relax after a long day. Just as cocoa or cider was prepared when either was having a particularly long or difficult day, or how Ravio always made sure Mr. Hero ate three meals a day and slept for at least four hours, taking care that his friend wasn’t positioned too uncomfortably wherever it was that he finally passed out. Mr. Hero touching his feet was normal, just like him playing with Mr. Hero’s hair once the other boy had settled down at last.
Perhaps though, it wasn’t all that common for the others.
“Vet?”
Mr. Hero blinked up from his work, violet eyes meeting the midnight blue of Mr. Rancher impassively.
“What in Ordonia are ya doin’?”
The veteran hero cocked a brow. “Foot massage, he won’t relax otherwise, and foot pains a-” Captain Hero Sir Jr. shot a look their way and Mr. Hero quickly amended what he’d been about to say. “Foot pain sucks.”
“You are touching feet.” Mr. Rancher wrinkled his nose. “Isn’t that a bit... gross?”
“Says the man who eats bee larva.” Came the quipped reply. “I wash them first, pities sakes.”
“By my head!?!?!?” Tune started jumping up and away and shooting Mr. Hero a hurt look. “Like, yeah, sure, I help Granny on bad days too, but warn a fellow if you’re gonna be having feet by his head.”
“Don’t sit on my legs.”
Ravio chuckled, letting the noise and chatter wash over him.
Mr. Hero’s hands never failed to sooth the pains of the day.
The heroes had stumbled in time and again over the months, and Ravio had grown quite used to their presence. Time passed differently on both ends of things, but he’d since learned when abouts to expect that they'd appear, and the house was, thankfully, stocked fully for each visit.
Autumn had brought about harvest, and the heroes had darted in and out, occasionally offering help and other times only crashing wearily in the living room and Mr. Hero’s bedroom for the night before they had to return to chasing the monsters. Today was one of the longer stays, especially if how Mr. Captain Hero Sir was moving so stiffly was any indication.
“Do you need me to step on you again?” Mr. Smithy asked worriedly as Mr. Captain Hero Sir eased his way down onto the couch, earning a few looks both from the merchant and the other heroes while Sheerow flitted about the man's head, chirruping worriedly and earning a gentle word or so from the captain.
Mr. Captain Hero Sir was in quite the state, stiff as a board and moving as poorly as the old pump in the village. It made him worried, and try as he might, he couldn’t think of any of his items that would help.
Mr. Hero appeared to already have an answer though. “Tunic off, Cap, and on the couch.”
Sharp blue blinked over in confusion to where Mr. Hero was already shedding his boots and rolling up his sleeves with a purpose. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Massage. Works wonders for back pain. Hop to it or I’m rescinding my offer.”
It was one thing to be on the receiving end of matters, but another entirely to be one of those who watched. Mr. Hero put his full weight into his hands as he worked, kneading out the knots in his friend's muscles while Mr. Captain Hero Sir melted into the couch with little relieved noises.
Maybe it took the others realizing that the vet didn’t just help him, but after that it wasn’t at all uncommon for him to carry in his attempts at cider or his wonderful cocoa and see Mr. Hero standing over one of the others and putting his clever hands to work in soothing tensed muscles back into place, the heroes under his hands melting under his touch.
The first time he heard Mr. Hero humming under his breath while he worked, the other heroes had all looked incredibly surprised, but not upset in the slightest. It was a lovely tune after all, and Tune himself started playing with his baton in time the gentle music, swaying in his seat and waving the instrument while the others continued working on repairing and tending their various items and clothing articles.
There was a pattern. For Mr. Captain Hero Sir it was his back, although rather rarely, and the same went for Mr. Chosen Hero.
For Captain Hero Sir Jr. It was his neck and shoulders.
Mr. Smithy got stress headaches that seemed to ease when someone helped message his temples.
Mr. Rancher had problems with his left wrist specifically.
Ravio of course had poor feet, and while Tune and Wild seemed to be mostly left unscathed from the repetitive pains that the others did, they took every opportunity to cling to Mr. Hero with their whole bodies when they felt that they wanted pets or attention when their mentor’s/brothers were too busy.
He’d attempted to return the favor all of one time. The black eye and bloody nose he got out of it weren’t even made better with the nearly tearful apologies of his best friend as Mr. Hero had jumped to his feet and dashed outside to get some ice for the injury.
Once the blood was cleaned up, the vet had sat in shame as Ravio had joined the others in teasing him for his “killer reflexes”.
“I can’t help it! People touching my feet- It-” Mr. Hero tugged at his hair frustratedly, eyes turning to the sky hopelessly. “I’m sorry, Ravio. It was an accident, I swear.”
“I know, Mr. Hero, I know.” He’d giggled out the reassurance, but from that day on he avoided touching Mr. Hero’s feet in any way possible.
(Oddly enough though, that didn’t stop a few of the others from trying, and Mr. Hero’s sleep was interrupted many times by heroes that had been kicked in the nose or even the mouth because they’d dared each other to touch the teen’s feet while he slept. Mr. Captain Hero Sir had complained for days until his own black eye healed, and Mr. Hero hadn’t even bother apologizing, stating that the others shouldn’t have tempted fat so foolishly.)
He felt a bit guilty for not returning the favor, but he knew better than to try again where so many others had failed.
And then winter had sprung up. Winter with its harsh gales that blew in half frozen heroes that tracked ice and snow across the floor as they bundled in front of the fire, wrapped head to toe for the weather. Winter when he’d brew hot cocoa to warm them all up, letting Mr. Hero tug down blankets to wrap around their on-and-off house-mates (guests no longer applied at this point). The mugs offered were warm, and Ravio smiled as each hero offered him a word of thanks as his tray grew lighter and lighter until he only had the two mugs left.
Mr. Hero had pulled together his usual nest before the fire. His huge blanket and a few spare pillows all bundled together into a comfortable place to sit for the younger heroes in order to make up for the lack of a second couch, and the vet sat in its center, still working to arrange the cushions with stiff fingers and chattering teeth until Ravio had pulled on his friend’s tunic and urged him to sit down.
When he offered the mug though, Mr. Hero had fumbled it and nearly dropped it, a hiss of irritation whishing from between his teeth and he glared down at his stiff digits. “Blast! Din’s sake, why does the freaking cold always freaking-”
Warm hands, worn from housekeeping and smithy work, wrapped around the vet’s as Ravio gently rubbed some warmth back into the stiff fingers. Mr. Hero started slightly at the touch, but didn’t complain as the merchant continued to press his into the rises and against the bones of his friend’s gnarled hands, offering warmth and relief against the pain and the cold both for a few short minutes, and Mr. Hero melted into the touch, as he always inevitably did, letting Ravio have his way for the moment and leaning to sit back-to-back with Wild while the merchant worked.
When he’d released his housemate, it’d only been to press a mug into the vet’s hands, but then he’d been settling across from him on the blanket nest, stockinged feet coming to rest in his friend’s lap as he’d pulled his own mug close for a sip. Violet eyes offered a begrudging smile that was returned in rupee green, but no words were spoken between the two as they enjoyed their cocoa.
Mr. Captain Hero Sir however wasn’t about to let it pass. “So, hand holding now, uh? Should I be talking to Fable about a wedding day?”
Ravio was certain that the only thing keeping some very rude signs from being exchanged as the fact that Mr. Hero wasn’t willing to stress his hands further or release the warmth that he held in them. The pink-haired hero did shoot a very disappointed look towards the captain though.
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narutogwriting · 3 years
Text
A Kunai is Not a Knife
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⋇✦ Pairing
Kakashi Hatake x Reader
⋇✦ Genre
fluff; one shot
⋇✦ CW
none
⋇✦ Length
1.6k
⋇✦ Request by @kakashiswilloffire : can I request kakashi or shikamaru trying and failing to cook dinner for a gn!reader? like never used a knife that wasn't a kunai but wants to do something nice for their partner?
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Kakashi was a more than capable shinobi. Son of the white fang, he was a legend in his own right. Being one of the youngest ninja to graduate the academy at age five, he went on to become a chunin at just age six. By the time of the third ninja war, Kakashi was a jonin, trusted to lead his own team.
He was Kakashi of the Sharingan, the copy cat ninja. Kakashi joined the ANBU, was the third Hokage’s right hand man for a time, and feared across the nations.
He was strong, he was intelligent, he was good with a kunai.
But for the life of him, Kakashi could not use a food knife.
“Shit shit shit,” he cursed, shoving his now bleeding thumb in his mouth, tasting the metallic on his tongue.
With his free hand, he grabbed the remote, pausing the cooking show he was watching that was attempting to teach him how to make dinner. It was a little out of his league as a person that survived mostly on takeout, but Kakashi had been optimistic and confident in his abilities.
Because really, how hard could cooking be?
And yes, okay, he absolutely could activate his sharingan, watch the cooking show--memorizing every meticulous movement of the chef on the television--and prepare the most decadent meal you’d ever tasted all from the comfort of your home.
But at this point, it was a matter of pride.
Kakashi was a grown man. He could cook dinner for his girlfriend. It really shouldn’t be this hard.
That’s what he told himself as he sucked on his stinging thumb. He’d tried to chop the vegetables as quickly and diligently as the chef had done and subsequently cut into his finger. Luckily it was a superficial injury, something he would forget about in the next ten minutes, but the point stood that there was no reason he should be so *bad at this.
It was a knife for god’s sake; Kakashi was basically born holding one. Given they were different tools for very different purposes, but when it came down to it, a knife was a knife. Or so he thought.
Sighing, Kakashi glanced at the clock. You’d be off your shift soon and then heading home. It was your ninth consecutive shift at the hospital. A small factory fire left many injured--thankfully not fatally--and so you had been putting in overtime to make sure the patients were taken care of and your coworkers were not left stranded without help.
You took your work very seriously, and Kakashi loved and appreciated that about you. You were such a hard worker, and it made Kakashi proud to call you his. But as such, you’d been obviously exhausted, spending all your time home asleep, and Kakashi was sure you weren’t taking adequate enough breaks to nourish yourself properly.
He just wanted to do something nice for you. Coming home to a nice home cooked meal and a warm bath waiting seemed like the perfect way to kick off the four days off you had coming your way.
“Alright, Kakashi. You can do this…” He muttered in an attempt to hype himself up. He picked up the aforementioned tool from hell, taking it to the sink to sanitize it of his blood.
He turned back to the onions then, pressing play on the tv and trying to dice them into tiny pieces just like the chef was doing so easily. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get them into small enough pieces. He knew you loved the taste onions provided, but didn’t like the sensation of chewing them.
It was a weird thing you were particular about, something so small it would be easy to pass over and forget about, but Kakashi knew everything about you, noticed every small quirk and committed it to memory.
Like the way you would read a book, and if a character winked, you winked instinctively as well. If someone came up and startled you, you would yell “ow” even though you weren’t hurt. You had a dimple only in your left cheek, and the only time it was visible was when you were especially happy, and when you were anxious, you’d swipe your fingers over your lips.
Kakashi noticed and loved everything about you.
Which was why he needed this damn onions to just *get smaller.* They were too big, you’d definitely taste them, and it would ruin the whole meal! He was determined to get them just tiny enough to taste without having to chew them.
“Could I juice them…?” Kakashi wondered to himself as he tossed the horrid knife on the counter in annoyance. Maybe squeezing the onions really tightly over the meal would add enough flavor.
Deciding he’d get back to those later, he grabbed another knife and pulled a pomegranate from the fridge. Kakashi never actually had a pomegranate before, and he’d only seen you eat one once or twice.
You had a thing about pomegranates; they were your favorite fruits, but you would only eat them on special occasions as a way to reward yourself--just another one of your little quirks.
So Kakashi was going to cut one open and get all the juicy seeds in a bowl for you as a special treat.
Unfortunately, because Kakshi didn’t eat pomegranates on his own and didn’t see you eat them often enough, he had no idea just how messy they could really be.
*Screw the knife,* Kakashi decided to himself. *I’m a shinobi. I can do this without that stupid thing.*
So Kakashi, in all his *genius, pulled his Kunai from his leg strap. They used to play games like this in the academy; they called it fruit ninja. The goal was to slice a fruit in the air with your kunai as concisely as possible.
Kakashi always won.
He tossed the pomegranate high in the air, ready to dice the fruit and have it up for serving. Quick as a flash of lightning, the Kunai struck through the juicy pomegranate, promptly causing it to *explode--juices and seeds and all.
And what was also unfortunate was Kakashi was moving so quickly, already prepared to slice the fruit, that his hand moved faster than his brain, and he sliced at the pomegranate three more times before he could stop himself.
Juices and seeds splattered the entire kitchen covering the counters, the cupboards, the floors, and Kakashi.
You walked in at that moment, greeted with what appeared to be a murder scene with a defeated Kakashi standing in the middle of it.
You stared in quiet shock for a moment as you took in Kakashi’s expression. You’d never seen him look so forlorn in your life. His arms were hanging idly at his side, the kunai slipping from his grasp as it clanked against the floor.
You couldn’t help it; you laughed.
Kakashi startled, eye’s flickering to you in a panic.
“Y-you’re home!” He stuttered out. “You’re early! I thought you’d be another hour or so… I was just…” He looked helplessly around the disastrous kitchen. “Just trying to make you dinner.” Kakashi sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head, disappointed with himself.
When you laughed again, he peeked one eye open, shooting a small glare in your direction. “I’m so glad you’re taking pleasure in my suffering…” He muttered dramatically.
Rolling your eyes, you sauntered over to Kakashi, throwing your arms around his neck as you grinned up at him. “You know, I’m a little relieved,” you teased him with a smile. “I thought that you were good at *everything. It’s nice to know you have your flaws, too.”
Behind his mask, you could practically see Kakashi’s pout.
Placing a kiss on his cheek, you pulled back to survey the damage. “I’m sorry; I have to ask… I know pomegranates are messy, but what the hell happened here?”
With a groan, Kakashi shook his head, finally moving to grab a rag. “I… I played fruit ninja with the pomegranate.”
“You… what?”
“I played fruit ninja. With the pomegranate.”
“What does that mean?”
“I threw the pomegranate.”
“You threw the pomegranate?”
“I threw the pomegranate. Then I sliced it.”
“With your kunai?”
“With my kunai.”
“You threw the pomegranate and then you sliced it with your kunai?”
“That’s correct.”
You once again burst into laughter. You couldn’t help it! The whole idea was so ridiculous and especially coming from Kakashi.
He groaned again before you wrapped your arms around him. Reluctantly, he returned the gesture. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever tried to do for me.” You giggled. “Now… Can you teach me how to play?”
And so that’s how the rest of your night went. It wasn’t the way Kakashi had planned for the night to go, but it was one to remember just the same. Instead of a romantic dinner and relaxing bath, the two of you made an even bigger mess in the kitchen, slicing all the fruit you could manage.
You did your best to teach Kakashi to slice and season food with a regular knife. Boiling the water was about the only thing he *didn’t mess up, but it was endearing.
Later, bellies full, laying in bed, leaving the kitchen to be cleaned tomorrow, you cuddled comfortably into Kakashi’s side, placing light kisses on his shoulder as you drifted off to sleep. Kakashi held you tightly in his arms, content. He was a capable shinobi, a legend in his own right. His accomplishments listed on and on. He couldn’t cook for shit, but he made up for it by loving you.
182 notes · View notes
wonderwomanfantasy · 3 years
Text
Easy to love
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Todoroki is so sweet he deserves a sweet journalist to dote on
Tdoroki x Fem!Reader
warnings: some spice towards the end, minor character death,
Word count: 1,600 (about)
summary: Todoroki is a disaster when it comes to trying to do the speaking thing, but not with you
Shoto had never really liked interviews or journalists for that matter. He always felt too awkward talking about himself and he’d never liked reporters either. He felt awkward talking about himself, and no matter what he said his interviews ended up in ‘Shoto Todoroki not knowing how to talk for X minutes” compilations.
So needless to say he was not looking forward to this interview. He looked at the setup stage with a grimace, everything was ready now he was just waiting for the journalist who would grill him. Some new woman he’d never met before, he wasn’t looking forward to it.
“You look like you’d rather have a monster bust in here than get up on this stage,” Todoroki looked to his side and saw you’d crept upon him while he wasn’t paying attention. He’d seen you around the set a few times now, you must be one of the producers or something. He gave you a small smile.
“You can say that again, I hate interviews like these,” he said gesturing around you to everything going on. You smiled.
“But I’m assuming you don’t have a choice in the matter?” you asked. And he nodded
”My agent want’s me to seem more open and approachable,” you laughed at that
“Maybe your agent should find a new angle, or you find a new agent,” he smiled. It was very kind of you to try and ease his nerves like this.
“It looks like your journalist is running late, can I grab you a coffee or a tea, water?’ you offered.
“Tea would be nice- oh but you don’t have to-” it was too late you’d turned and headed off to grab him his drink not knowing what else to do he followed. “You really don’t have to,” he said. You waved your hand dismissively already pouring the steaming water into a cup.
“Nonsense, It’s not a problem at all, Jasmen or Black?” you asked.
“Jasmen, and thank you,” he said accepting the cup from you when you offered it to him.
“You know if you don’t like filmed interviews you could almost certainly get the producers to wave the cameras, Especially now this whole thing is for a blog post, the cameras are just here for a bonus video, nothing big.” you said.
“It’s not just filmed content it’s all interviews, I’m just bad at being charming under pressure, I can never say the right thing when I know I’m being documented,” he explained. You nodded sympathetically.
“I guess I can see that, and for what it’s worth I’m finding you very charming right now,” you teased. Shoto smiled to himself, a deep satisfaction flooding him. He hadn’t been trying to impress you, but he did really want you to like him and he was glad you did.
“I get it I guess, I mean it’s not like you became a hero to talk about yourself right?” you shrugged. Shoto thought about it.
“True, but to be fair I didn’t have much of a choice in becoming a hero,” he said bitterness creeping into his tone.
“What do you mean?” you asked. He took a sip from his cup as he tried to find the words.
“Well, I was my father’s pride he wouldn’t have let me quit if I had tired,” he said.
“That’s not what I meant,” you said shaking your head. “You’re 26 Todoroki, you’re indipendintly wealthy, plenty of heroes retire at your age, or at least reduce their work hours but you haven’t, so why are you motivated enough to go through the stuff you hate like this?” you asked. He froze, he’d never thought about it. He was a hero becuase it was was he was good at, because if he didn’t people would die and get hurt if he didn’t, but that wasn’t even the real reason there were pleant of young capable heroes springing up every day, the world would be fine with out him. It wasn’t the money or the notoriety either. He swallowed thickly. You looked at him silently, waiting for an answer. He knew he had to tell you the truth, you wouldn’t accept anything less.
“When I was 19 there was a fire in an apartment building and I was one of the first responders, I ended up pulling this little girl from the wreckage, she was only seven years old, and she told me that I was her favorate hero because I was a good person and a good hero,” he said pausing to think if he should continue.
“You told that story once online,” you said nodding.
“Theres more,” he said shakeily, and you waited patiently until he contiued. “She died later tht night. Smoke inhaleation, I feel like I’d be betraying her if I quit, and waisted all the potential she thought I had,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry for bringing it up, that sounds incredibly painful,” you said sympathetically. Todoroki shook his head,
“No, Please don’t feel bad about it, I wouldn’t have said it if it was too personal,” he said smiling at you softly. Shoto didn’t know what it was about you that he found so calming, but he found it easy to talk to you. The time slipped away from him as he told you more and moer about himself, he almost forgot what he was supposed to be doing here, until that is a frantic producer ran up to the both of you.
“There you are we were supposed to start an hour ago!” Shoto winced assuming the angry man was yelling at him, but you calmly steped in front of him and spoke.
“Relax I got everything I need for the article, so we ended up talking by the concessions stand instead of on that hideous couch, you’ll still get your scoop.” you said. Todoroki stiffened.
“You were the journalist supposed to interview me?” he asked. You smiled at him shyly,
“Sorry, After what you said i didn’t want you to clam up around me,” you explained. He returned your smile, a light blush dusting his cheeks.
“It’s okay,” he said happily. For the first time he felt like an interview had gone well. And he knew that the next time he was interviewed he’d have to see you again.
As it turned out you were right, he did have enough power to pull strings with the people incharge. He said he wouldn’t do a live interview unless you were there and suddenly you were available when previously he'd been told that they couldn't promise anything.
Shoto twitched uncomfortably on the cream-colored leather chair. At least this time Midoriya was with him, taking some of the pressure off. He was still nervous, this would be live. that meant no time to cut things if he met up.
“It’ll be okay,” Izuku tired to reasure him but it did little to calm his nerves. You breezed on the set easily taking your seat across from them and smiled warmly.
“Hey, Todoroki It’s nice to see you again,” you greeted. He smiled shyly at you. You leaned back in your chair casually, “how’ve you been?”
Just like that he found himself talking candidly with you, he almost didn’t notice when Midoriya jumped in or when the cameras started rolling. It was just nice to talk to you. He was amazed that you could cure him of his awkwardness like that.
He lingered after the interview ended and you went off to your dressing room. Todoroki just knew he had to see you again. He knocks lightly on your dressing room door and waited for you to call “come in” before entered you turned, your shirt half off and gasped when you saw him.
“Sorry I thought you were someone else,” you explained. Quickly re clothing yourself. But the damage was done, he could feel his body heat up dramatically, that brief flash of your naked skin had sent him off the rails.
“I-I uhm,” he stammered and you walked over to him.
“Sorry about that, i didn’t mean to fluster you,” you said noting the tent in his pants. Just from seeing you in a bra.
“You-you’re very pretty,” he stammered. “I-I wanted to ask you on a date,” he stammered. You smiled at him warmly.
“I’d like that Shoto, if you’d like we can have a date right now,” you offered. He didn’t follow, then you took your shirt off and his cheeks engulfed in flames as he caught on. Shoto nodded and fumbled with the door locking it before pouncing on you.
You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly, and ran your fingers through his soft hair, you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been thinking of something like this happening for a while now.
Shoto fumbled with his clothes and gently pressed you down on the counter of the dressing room once you were both naked. “I’m sorry, please tell me if this is moving too fast,” he panted against your neck as he kissed whatever part of your body he could reach.
“It’s fine Todoroki, please don’t stop,” you said
“Shoto, call me Shoto,” he corrected.
“Shoto please,” you breathed. It felt like his head was spinning hearing you moan his name like that.
Shoto had had his fair share of one-night stands, but this was different this was something about this, soft and tender, the start of beautiful.
He laid you down on the counter trailing his hands over your clothed hips as his mouth moved against yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth.
"Shoto," you moaned your hands running through his multicolored hair. you sounded so pretty moaning his name like that. "did you lock the door?"
He hated leaving you but quickly he got up locking the room, by the time he'd turned around back to you, you'd shuffled your skirt off leaving you in just your underwear.
Shoto couldn't help himself, he fell to his knees in front of you placing your ankles around his shoulders slowly dragging your panties down your legs he looked up at you, waiting for permission. you were trembling biting down on your knuckle to keep yourself quiet.
"yes," you mumbled around your finger. Shoto leaned forward gently spreading your lower lips before darting his tongue out and tasting the moister already clinging to your folds. Your thighs clamped around his head locking him in place, your free hand flying to his hair, and Shoto was more than happy to be manhandled by you. He wasn't planning on leaving until your fluids were dripping down his face.
your hips moved rhythmically against his face as his tongue swirled around your clit and sucking on the bud lightly bringing his hand up to finger you gently, feeling your velvety walls gushing around his fingers. your thighs clamped around his head until you came a low moan escaped you despite yourself.
"Shoto, fuck me, please," you begged as he got to his feet and whipped his mouth. Shoto knew that the two of you didn't have much time, his agent was probably losing their mind looking for him.
"you did so well for me princess," he murmured kissing you again, cupping both of your cheeks in his hands.
"let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night then I'll make love to you," he promised. and almost on queue, there was a loud knocking at the door, and your producer barked through the door asking if you'd seen him.
"N-No." you called back, and kissed him again
"Alright I'll see you tomorrow," you whispered
"I can't wait,"
155 notes · View notes
mypoisonedvine · 4 years
Text
peaches & cream || soft!dark Jake Wyler x reader
for @stargazingfangirl18​'s 5k challenge! I used the prompt, "the town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks."
word count: 3.6k
warnings: smut (noncon), stalking/obsession, some degradation/negging (but lots of praise during the actual smut), kinda yandere vibes?, touch of breeding kink at the end, definitely flirting with the boundary between soft!dark and regular dark but I like to think it’s a fine line
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“Sorry, but that’s a seasonal flavor,” the girl at the counter explained in a snarky monotone.
“Well, yeah, but isn’t it still… the season?” you pressed; normally you weren’t the sort of person to argue with a cashier over a milkshake, but the look she was giving you made you feel like she was holding out on you— especially when the promotional poster for the very thing you were trying to order was just behind her head, and said the flavor was available for two more days.
“We’re out,” she answered firmly, but then her face suddenly shifted to a much more pleasant expression as you heard the chime of the front door opening behind you.  
You felt his body hovering behind yours just as his hand laid on the counter beside you, caging you in.  It was even more unsettling with the context that there was a whole line of people waiting behind you already.
“I’ll get your usual,” the girl promised to the man beside with a flirtatious smile as she disappeared to the back, returning almost instantly with a shake in her extended hand.  “Peaches and cream milkshake— extra whipped cream, no cherry.  Enjoy!”
Your eyes widened at the reading of your own order.  “I thought you were out!” you protested, going completely ignored.
"If you were my girl, this sort of thing wouldn't need to happen."
You recoiled from Jake's voice in your ear, and he smiled in spite of your snarl, bringing the straw to his lips slowly.  With a shudder you walked away, deciding it was probably better to forgo a milkshake anyways— especially if it was a chance to avoid everyone’s favorite senior, the football king who basically owned the whole town for no other reason than being good-looking, athletic, and allegedly “charming” or whatever.
Of course, he followed you, sitting across from you in a booth and silently shooing his posse of fellow teammates to go off and give you two some space.  If only he would give you space.
“We can share,” he offered as he held the milkshake out towards you.  “I know it’s your favorite… it’s mine too.”
“I’ve lost my appetite,” you explained quickly as you pulled a book out of your backpack, intent on ignoring him since you couldn’t physically force him to leave.
He shrugged and returned to sucking on the straw, watching you unwaveringly as you tried to read your book— staring at the page was going well, but you couldn’t seem to actually get any words down.  Had you forgotten English as a written language or something?
“Could you leave?” you finally asked as you groaned and looked up from your book.  “You’re distracting me.”
“I’m literally just sitting here,” he reminded you.
“And it’s distracting!”
He smirked proudly.  “My presence tends to have that effect on people.  Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
You rolled your eyes, burying your face back in your book.  “You know, you may have everybody else fooled, but someday you’re gonna have to leave this pathetic little town and go into the real world where throwing a ball isn’t a career and nobody fawns over you just because you have the audacity to be attractive.”
He chuckled lightly.  “Right, because you have those big city dreams of yours, but believe it or not some of us like this ‘pathetic’ little town.”
“Well, of course you would,” you snorted.  “Your dad’s the mayor and your girlfriend’s the head cheerleader.”
“My ex-girlfriend,” he corrected, finally getting your attention enough to make you shut your book.
“What?” you blurted out.
“Yeah, she dumped me,” he explained plainly.
“Why would she do that?” you asked, making him look much too proud of himself again.  “Finally snapped out of the brainwashing, huh?” you added, effectively killing his smug expression.
“I guess you could say that.  She met some college guy from out of town… I think her parents liked me too much, she needed a bit more rebellion.”
“Well, my condolences to you,” you smiled, “and my congratulations to her.”
“I thought you hated her,” he scoffed.
“Well, now she and I have something in common: a complete lack of interest in you!”
“I mean, I wouldn’t go that far,” he smirked, “she still comes over every now and again to suck my cock.”
You choked on nothing, face getting warm at his crude language.  He didn’t talk like that with anyone else; it was so cruel the way he kept everybody in town under his spell except you, the way he let you in on his real darkness with no one else to confide in or believe you.  
It was so fundamentally lonely, being the one person who wasn’t in love with Jake Wyler.  It was even worse being the one person Jake Wyler loved.
At least, that was the word he used multiple times in his semi-anonymous letters, his incessant calls and emails, his speeches outside your window.  He’d actually cooled off lately, you wondered if maybe he had finally let go of this ‘the one thing I can’t have’ obsession and learned to appreciate his girlfriend (who, for all her personality flaws, was objectively gorgeous, and seemed to at least be nice to him if nobody else).
But now that she left him (which you were still trying to process, honestly), you were surprised he hadn’t already moved on to the next best wannabe model and/or reinstated his campaign to win you over.
Then again, the look in his eye kind of made you think you were about to witness the second one.
“You know, when she does come over, I can only ever finish because I’m thinking about you,” he revealed in a low voice.  You grimaced and slid out of the booth, stuffing your book into your bag and barely managing to throw him a goodbye before you dashed out.  
It wasn’t like you really thought you could get away from him— he had made it clear over and over that you couldn’t— but the idea of being crammed in that booth with him, surrounded throughout the diner by his adoring fans who somehow didn’t manage to overhear him when he said those awful things, made you feel nauseous.
What you should’ve considered was that, fans or not, those people were witnesses, and now that you were running out into the dark streets of the town and he was chasing after you, you didn’t have any.  It was just you and him, and when you turned into an alleyway to try to get home faster, even the dim glow of the streetlights couldn’t see you anymore.
“Hey,” he stopped you with a tight grip on your arm, pulling you back into him.
“Let me go!” you whined, trying to tug yourself away but only ensuring that his hand would leave a bruise on your arm.  
“I will when you just hear me out, okay?” he hissed, spinning you around to look up at him.  "Why don't you just give me a chance?  Don't you wanna be popular?" 
"I don't want to be anything that requires being within ten yards of you!" you spat.
He seemed bewildered, but you knew he wasn’t actually that stupid.  "Why?"
"Because you know why!"
He sighed, slumping his shoulders a little.  "Are we still on that, really?  I told you, you should take it as a compliment.  You know how many girls would kill to catch me jerking off in their panties?"
"You're sick, Jake,” you sighed, “and you're really good at hiding it from everyone else but I know what you really are.  You told me you needed help with algebra and I actually believed you, for months you were lying to me to get close so you could perv on me when you already had a girlfriend and two side chicks anyways— god, Jake, you're crazy!"
You yelped when he pinned you to the wall, blue eyes darker than ever.  "I really, really hate that word."
Against the wall, your back straightened as you felt the tone shift completely for a moment before he was back to his jovial self again, giving you a somber but almost-genuine smile.
“The only kind of crazy I am is crazy about you,” he defended with a laugh, leaning in a little closer.  “Why can’t you see that?”
As his eyes moved from your own to your lips, a renewed sense of fear shot through you.  “Jake…” you mumbled, apparently your feeble attempt to ask him to stop.
“Just one kiss,” he bargained, “and then I’ll let you go.  Okay?  That’s all I need.”
“N-no,” you whimpered, turning your head away as he leaned in even further.  “Stop.”
“Come on, it’s just a kiss, baby,” he cooed.  “Then you can leave.  Hey, you might actually like it.  You know, I think that’s what you’re really scared about… and I get it!  When I first realized I was in love with you, it was scary for me, too— I mean, I’m the most important guy in town and you’re just some bookworm, it’s sort of social suicide for me so I had a lot to worry about.”
There he went with his negging again, trying to bring you down to his level.  Your brain knew that, it saw right through it, but your gut still sank with doubt.
“But I know now that love is nothing to be afraid of,” he concluded.
“No, Jake,” you whispered, feeling tears well in your eyes, “I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me if I don’t do what you want.”
“Well, that is something to be afraid of,” he replied with the coldest laugh you’d ever heard; you didn’t hear any agreement, but the lack of denial was deafening.  “So just be my good girl and let me kiss you…”
You swallowed dryly, your eyes wide open and searching for anywhere to look but up at him.
He was so close now that his lips brushed against yours with his command: “say it.”
You stammered over your breath, not sure exactly what he was asking for, and you winced as you felt his grip tighten on your arms.
“Say, ‘kiss me’,” he clarified in a harsh whisper.  “Say, ‘please’...”
“Please,” you repeated awkwardly, hearing it in your voice but so clearly not your own words, “kiss me.”
He let his mouth intertwine with yours and your eyes were still wide open as he let his own fall shut, moving his hands to clutch your face gently instead as you gave a weak effort to kiss him back.
Objectively, he was good at this.  A lot of things were objectively true about Jake: as much as you forced yourself not to see it, he was handsome; as much as it didn’t really matter to you, a boycotter of all things sports, he was talented; and, as much as no one else realized it, he was completely deranged.  For every word of kindness from him there was another of anger.  For every love letter in your locker, there was a threat left scrawled on crumpled paper inside your bedroom, just so he could remind you that your parents would let him into the house if he asked and never question it.
Which was why it was extremely important that you did not enjoy this kiss.  You needed to hate the way his fingers traced over the pulse in your neck, the way his tongue tickled yours, the way his teeth just barely grazed your lip until your knees went a little weak.  
But wow, there was something primally satisfying about melting into his arms, feeling his strength support you like it was nothing when he held your waist and pulled you closer.
You could almost forget that it was him.  But then he mumbled your name into the kiss, nearly moaned it in fact, and it pulled you back to reality.  With a gasp, you pushed him away and blinked your eyes open, not even realizing you’d closed them; hating how quickly you’d started to give in to him.
“There, one kiss,” you mumbled, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve.  “I’m gonna go home now—”
“You can’t be serious,” he laughed incredulously.  “You’re gonna kiss me like that and tell me you don’t feel this, too?  We’re so meant for each other— we even order the same milkshake!”
“That doesn’t matter!” you denied.
“I love you!”
“That doesn’t matter either!”
You turned to leave but he grabbed you again from behind, covering your mouth with his hand when you opened your mouth to scream.  “Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” he hissed in your ear, “and don’t walk away from me.”
Fighting against his grip did nothing but exhaust you: he only needed one arm to hold you back as he dragged you deeper into the alley.  Your legs swung wildly and landed a kick to his shin, and he plugged your nose while he was covering your mouth so you couldn’t breathe.
“Listen to me, you stuck up little bitch,” he growled.  “I’m really sick of this ‘hard to get’ act.  I know you want me.  So shut up and let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, okay?  You gonna be good?”
In that moment, you would’ve agreed to anything for a chance to fill your lungs with fresh air, and so you nodded, the back of your head rubbing against his chest.
“You gonna be nice and quiet so nobody catches you getting fucked like a whore in this alley?”
Another nod, more feverish than the last, ended with a sharp inhale as he let go of your nose.  But he was still covering your mouth, his arm around you now feeling less like restraint and more like an embrace.
"I've wanted you for so long, you can't even imagine," he explained softly as he leaned down and kissed your neck, gripping your waist tighter.  "You and this perfect body of yours.  This smart little head that thinks too much…"
You swallowed dryly as his hand trailed lower.
"This pussy you've been hiding from me for much too long," he added darkly, roughly shoving his hand up your skirt.
You whined behind his hand but he didn’t seem to care; he pulled your skirt up and grinned at the sight of your panties— because he recognized them.
“I remember these,” he purred.  “They look good on you, baby, but they looked better covered in my come.”
Your cheeks burned with shame— you already hated yourself for still wearing the pair he’d tampered with, but it was harmless after a few runs through the washer, right?  You weren’t going to stop wearing your favorite panties just for him, that would mean he won, in a sense; or, that’s what you told yourself to justify not burning them.
“Don’t worry, they’re gonna be soaked by the time I’m done with you,” he purred, slipping two fingers between your legs and growling slightly.  “Well, actually, you’ve already done a lot of the work for me.”
He pulled the fabric aside and explored your pussy instead, tightening his grip over your mouth as you made little muffled yelps.  The rough pads of his fingers found and targeted your clit instantly, that megawatt smile pressed against your ear as he started to rub your bud harder.
“Mm, feels good, huh?” he taunted, moving even faster as your hips jolted unintentionally.  He stopped only to bring the fingers to his lips, humming at the taste of you which he sucked off of them.  “So sweet, babygirl— better than any peaches and cream milkshake, that’s for sure.”
The wet fingers trailed down your body again, finding your entrance that he suddenly pushed into; it was a little too much without any warning and it made your eyes shoot wide open, a squeak barely escaping your throat.
"Just as tight as I imagined, baby,” he sighed, “all those times I used your panties, or hooked up with somebody who almost looked like you from behind.  You’re gonna feel so good on my cock, I know you want it so bad.”
He took his fingers out of you to reach back and open his belt with one hand, the sound of the buckle matched in upsettingness only by the sound of his jeans sliding down to his thighs.
You heard your own breath loud and heavy against his hand as you felt his hard cock press against your thigh, a drop of precum smearing on your skin.  Your breathing halted suddenly, though, when he slid himself between your legs to rub his cock over your exposed and swollen pussy.
“Oh, babygirl, you really are too good to me,” he grinned, kissing your ear tenderly.  “So fucking wet and ready for me, huh?  You need it that bad?  You’re gonna get it, baby, ‘m gonna give it to you so good…”
Bracing yourself as best you could, you felt the head of his cock push against your entrance before he slammed in all at once, making you hiss in pain.
“Oh god,” he groaned, “fuck, you’re so warm…”
Already he was fucking into you roughly, pumping faster and deeper, paying no mind to your choked sobs of pain from the wide stretch.  Even when it stung it felt oddly good, and the underside of his cock seemed to slide perfectly over your g-spot with each movement until your eyes began to roll back in your head.
“So fucking good,” he moaned hoarsely as he braced you against the brick wall for leverage, reaching back down with his free hand to rub your clit again.  He chuckled when your legs quivered, and he must have felt your walls tighten around him, too.  “I wanna hear those pretty moans, baby, if I take my hand away are you gonna be good?” he asked darkly.  You nodded, enjoying the brief feeling of freedom that came from not having his hand over your mouth anymore.  But then again, it was humiliating that now he could hear your panting breaths, your desperate mewls that you failed to swallow down.
He made a sound that was almost like a laugh as he watched you squirm in his arms, one more way he had to lord this all over you, as if forcing you to take him in an alley wasn’t enough on its own.
His breath against your ear was hot and strained, each meeting of your hips to his accentuated with a little grunt from him.  It didn’t help at all that his fingers were rubbing you just right, with so much skill that you wondered if he’d somehow figured out how you touched yourself when you needed to get off.  Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him to have spied on you before, even if you couldn’t figure out when or how.
The hand that used to cover your mouth slid up under your shirt and pulled your bra down, a large, rough hand groping each breast and pinching your nipples until you bit down on your lip to stay quiet.  For all the mocking and teasing he’d done before, he was pretty direct now— like he was trying to make you come as fast as possible, overloading your body with sensation.  
And did he have to be so fucking good at it?
“I know you’re close, babygirl,” he whispered in your ear, “just let go…”
“Jake, please,” you sobbed, too far gone to appreciate that no begging would make him stop now.
“Come for me,” he demanded roughly, fucking you even faster as he sucked a mark onto your neck, and finally it all came crashing down with a choked-out cry of his name and a gush of warmth dripping out around his length.
“Ohh fuck, there you go, fuck it feels good when you come for me,” he grunted, thrusting even faster.  “You’re gonna milk my cock with that pretty pussy, babygirl— you’re gonna make me come…”
“J-Jake, not inside!” you interjected, getting his hand back over your mouth in return.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, “waited too long for this to pull out now.  Feels too fucking good.”
Behind his hand, the difference between whines of hatred and moans of pleasure was irritatingly subtle.
“I love you,” he reminded you in a voice exhausted yet heavy with desire, “so fucking much…”
A few more erratic, brutal thrusts accompanied by heavy pants and he was gone; you could feel his cock pulsing with each rope of come that filled you, so deep that your head fell dejectedly with the realization you had no hope of washing it out now.
His hand fell from your mouth but he didn’t pull out for another few moments as he caught his breath, gently peppering your neck and cheek in slow kisses.  “Baby,” he finally sighed, breaking the crushing silence, “you’re so fucking perfect.  I knew you were made for me.”
I hate you, you wanted to cry out, but words escaped you as he hugged you tightly and pulled your panties back into place, soaking them with his come as it leaked out of you just like he’d promised.  He stuffed his cock back into his jeans and helped you adjust your clothes back to looking almost presentable, finishing it off by turning you around and smiling at you with serene pride before kissing your forehead.
"You're gonna make such a beautiful prom queen," he cooed, “especially if you’ve already got a nice little bump showing…”
His hand rubbed beneath your belly button for emphasis, making you whimper and force your eyes shut as tears rolled down your cheeks.
"Shh, don’t cry, baby,” he soothed, kissing your cheek softly.  “Trust me, you're gonna love being my girl."
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broadstbroskis · 4 years
Text
the wedding date | morgan rielly
a/n: well first things first, i’m gonna give a shoutout to myself, because i started this fucking thing back in august and it’s finally completed (that’s right, it took me 7 months to write just under 5k, shhh, it finally came together). 
anyway, since i started this back in august, you can tell i’ve had this idea for a while. it’s morphed and changed a bit but the basic premise has stayed the same- you go home with morgan for a wedding and everyone thinks that you’re the girl he’s been dating for the last few years- so i hope you all enjoy! (also i’m sorry i suck at titles but like i’m not)
a special shoutout to these lovely people who have listened to me whine about this at any point over the last SEVEN MONTHS and some fellow mo lovers because you’re all amazing and i love you, @denis-scorianov, @brockadoodles, @danglesnipecelly, @laurenairay, @hockeyboysiguess
-----
When Morgan approaches you, with what you’ll later learn is only his first attempt to ask you something, you don’t even give him the chance, really. “Hey, what are you doing this summer?”
“Not you.” You quip back, grinning cheekily, ignoring the barks of laughter from Matthews and Marner beside him.
“Haha.” Morgan deadpans, but it’s busy that night at the bar, Saturday night after a Leafs win, and you’ve really got to get back to work now that you’ve finished serving them, so you’re already walking away from him.
The second time it happens is a Friday night, a few weeks later, when you’re out with some friends for the first time all semester. It’s late enough that you’re feeling just on the right side of tipsy, you’re drunk enough that you know you’re going to go home with the guy you shouldn’t, and you’re okay with both of those things. 
At least, tonight you are. Tomorrow morning will be a different story.
And then, Morgan stops you at the bar. “Hey.”
“Hey!” You grin back...and then it slowly fades as he just hems and haws. “What’s up?”
“I-” He blows out a frustrated groan.
Your eyebrows raise. You’ve known Morgan for years now, since his first season with Leafs had been right about when you started working at the bar for some extra cash after realizing just how expensive school was getting and grad school would be beyond that. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen him at such a loss for words. “Alright, well if you can’t think of it now, get back to me later, okay?”
“Wait-” He says, so you give him a minute or two, but there’s still nothing.
“Ok, I love you, but this is my one night out before my dissertation is due later this spring.” You tell him, reaching out for a hug. “You have my number and you know where to find me.”
“Ok.” Morgan smiles a little. “Have fun tonight.” And then you slink away from him, back in the direction of your friends, ready to let loose one last time before the craziness sets in.
The night that Morgan finally gets his question out is a quiet one in the middle of the week. He settles himself into the corner, doing his best to be discrete with a hat covering his face. By the time you and your coworker get everyone settled with drinks and you make your way over to him, he’s caught the attention of one older man, who immediately walks back to his girlfriend when you arrive at Morgan’s section of the bar.
“Well finally.” He’s free of all teammates, a rarity but not unheard of, especially this late in the season. “What’s a guy gotta do to get some service around here?”
“Oh sorry!” You tease. “Did I interrupt something here? Did you want me to call that guy back up so you guys could finish up?”
He flattens you with a look. “Don’t you dare.”
You giggle, leaning down against the bar in front of him. You know how much he loves the Toronto fanbase, but as playoffs approach, the fans are becoming more vocal and more forward with their thoughts. “You want another drink?”
He looks down at his glass, contemplates for a minute, and then nods, so you return quickly with a new beer for him and then smile as you watch him take a large gulp of it. “So what’s new?”
“Ehh loaded question.” He says cryptically. You give him a look. “But hey, you’re here on a Wednesday! You done with your...dissertation?” He trails off hesitantly, smiling at himself when you nod.
“Yup. I should know next week if I’m all clear.”
“And then?” He prompts.
“And then you can call me doctor, asshole.” You tease.
“I mean, Dr. Asshole isn’t what I would have gone with as my first choice, but if that’s what you want…”
“Morgan!” You laugh, ducking your head at the lame joke.
He’s grinning when you meet his eyes again, pleased as always that he could make someone laugh. “But seriously, that’s awesome! I’m excited for you.”
“Thanks.” You grin.
“What’s your next step then?”
“Umm I get to start researching infectious diseases for money.” You tell him excitedly, since you’d accepted a job with the University of Toronto’s medical research facilities. “But it doesn’t start until August.”
You’d expected Morgan to tease you about your excitement of infectious disease-something he and his teammates (among many other people you know) have done multiple times before-but instead, he perks up and says, “So you’d be free, on say, the weekend of July 8th?”
“Why?” You ask suspiciously. Experience has told you not to immediately say yes to this.
Morgan sighs. “Look. I need a date for a wedding back home that weekend.”
“And I’m the best you could come up with?”
“Best?” Morgan repeats. “You are funny, you’re pretty, you’re a doctor, all of which, frankly, puts you well out my league.”
“You’re not wrong.” You agree cheerfully, which puts the smile back on Morgan’s face, as you’d hoped. “But that doesn’t explain why you’d need a date to this wedding.”
The smile fades quickly and you wince. “I was supposed to go with Laura.”
You frown. “What happened to Laura?” Last you’d heard, the two of them were solid. Really solid. Headed for a wedding themselves, solid.
“She wasn’t who I thought she was.” He says flatly.
You wince. “I’m sorry, Mo.”
He shrugs. “It’s over and done with now.” You send him a reassuring smile. “So will you come?”
Well, there’s really no way you can say no now and not feel like an asshole. “Sure.”
The grin returns to his face. “Knew you’d come through for me.”
-----
Morgan rolls up to the airport in Vancouver to pick you up in a very fancy looking Jeep, a far cry from the sporty Porsche he drives in Toronto, and you call him out on it immediately. “I see how it is. You go home and you’re a fancy country boy, not a fancy city boy?”
He laughs. “Fuck off.”
“Gladly.” You tell him, grinning teasingly. “Drop me off at departures, will ya?”
His tone immediately turns serious. “Thank you. Seriously. Thanks for coming.”
Your smile remains on your face, still beaming over at him. “It was nothing, Mo.” It wasn’t, really, and you both know it. You’d quit your bar job a couple weeks early because of this, but you were happy to do this for him. He’d been down about Laura, down about being bounced from the playoffs again. This spring had been rough on him and you were more than happy to do your part to cheer up one of your closest friends.
Morgan hmms, in a way like he’s pretending to be casual about it, but he changes the subject as he switches lanes to pull onto the highway.
-----
Morgan has a whole itinerary for the next few days, prior to the wedding, but promises he’ll take you around to some of his favorite spots before you leave late next week. A quiet night tonight, dinner with his parents and brother tomorrow, and then the wedding stuff began the following day.
Much like his fancy Jeep, his fancy house in Vancouver is also nothing like the condo he owns in Toronto. You wouldn’t go so far as to say that his condo is...edgy, but it’s pretty modern? The house here in Vancouver is larger, sure, but reminds you a lot of the house you grew up in...or well, a larger and fancier version of it.
“Gonna give me a tour?” You turn to Morgan, who’s standing next to you almost awkwardly, as you look up at the beautiful house in front of you. Your bags are still in his hands, and you nudge his arm playfully, reaching for one, but he won’t let you grab it, smiling back at you as he starts to lead you in.
The inside is just as nice, and even though it’s clear that his mom and interior decorator have done a lot of work on it, there’s still a lot of Mo touches too. Each one makes you smile, the ones he points out in his tour and the ones that he doesn’t, until he finally leads you upstairs, dropping your things in one of the spare rooms. “Did I-“
“If the next words out of your mouth are say thank you, I’m walking out of this house.” You warn him.
“-ask what you want to do for dinner tonight?” Morgan finishes lamely and you laugh.
“That sushi place you always hype up?”
Morgan smiles. “Anything you want.” He says, and then, instead of the thank you that you know he wants to say, he pulls you in for a hug and squeezes tightly, before letting go. “Change and we’ll go?”
“Shower, change, and we’ll go.” You correct, dying to get the feel of airplane off you. “45 minutes.”
Morgan looks at you knowingly. “Sure, uh huh.” He says, nodding like he knows it’ll be much closer to an hour, an hour and fifteen, and you laugh, shoving at his shoulder before he makes you want to stretch it out to an hour and a half on purpose.
-----
Morgan’s parents might be the nicest people in the world, but they’re also a little...odd? Like, you’re not trying to be mean, because just like Morgan, they truly are the absolute sweetest, but, like, they just keep smiling at you with this knowing smile, like they know something that you don’t and it’s just...weird.
But they welcome you with open arms, when the two of you show up to dinner on your second night in town, hugging you just as tightly as they hug their own son, maybe even tighter than they hug the son who still lives in the same province as them. 
“We’re so excited to finally meet you!” Morgan’s mom gushes, once you get settled in their kitchen with a glass of wine, which at least explains the weirdness a little. “
“You guys too.” You admit. You’ve heard so much about them, his parents and brother, over the years of friendship with Morgan; it’s nice to finally put faces to names, to stories. “Thanks for having me tonight.” Next to you, Morgan nudges you, a grin on his face. You can practically hear him. Stop saying thank you, like you’ve been saying to him for the past day. 
“Oh stop!” She says, practically in time with his nudge. “Morgan tells us you’re a doctor now!” It’s said with pride, like you may as well be one of her own children who’s done something great.
“Yeah!” You smile, swirling the wine around a little, and then, because you don’t want there to be any confusion. “Not that kind of doctor; you should still call 911 if something happens.”
His dad laughs and his mom beams. “What kind of doctor then?” His dad asks, and you spend a while talking with his parents about epidemiology and your dissertation- his mom, it turns out, works in a similar field, and it isn’t long before the two of you are rolling your eyes about some research that just came out.
“What?” You ask Morgan, laughing, when your conversation breaks out, and she has to go check on dinner, at his dad’s request, before he burns it all entirely.
“I just forgot how excited you get about infectious diseases.”
“Can’t believe you’ve been out here this whole time knowing that your mom and I both exist and haven’t introduced us.” You announce. “The rudeness, the hearsay.”
“I don’t think that’s how that word’s used.” Morgan cackles.
“Oh, sorry, are you a doctor?”
“That doesn’t have anything to do with knowing how that word is used!” He protests, laughing.
You ignore him. “If you even think of keeping her from me when they come to Toronto…”
He wraps his arm around your shoulders and squeezes. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
-----
“Are you ready yet?” Morgan calls, and you take one last look in the mirror on the wall, smoothing the pleats in your dress. “We’re going to be late!”
“But it’s gonna be worth it!” You sing-song as you descend the stairs to meet him in the living room.
“Is it ev-” He cuts off abruptly, eyes wide and swallowing visibly as he cuts off. “Wow, okay then.”
“Worth it.” You wink at him, brushing past him to grab your purse. 
Morgan’s laughing as he picks up his keys, this soft and gentle thing that you can’t help but smile at. “Yeah, I should’ve known it would be.”
“You’ll know better for tomorrow!” You tease, and breeze past him to get in the car.
The ride to his cousin’s rehearsal dinner isn’t far, spent mostly laughing as you keep switching the station from anything Morgan changes it back to. By the time you arrive at the restaurant, you’re both giggling as you enter, flagged down almost immediately by Morgan’s mom.
“Look at you two!” She gushes.
“Mom.” Morgan says dryly. “Come on.”
She smiles at him indulgently. “Make sure you say hi to your cousin.” 
“Yeah, of course.” Morgan nods, grabbing your hand to pull you away. “Just after we hit the bar.” He mutters and you giggle.
His cousin, the bride, and her husband-to-be seem to have the same idea, and it’s just as you’re turning away, wine glasses in hand, that you nearly run into them.
“Oh!” Ashley beams excitedly, once Morgan introduces you. “Hi!”
“Congratulations!” You return the excitement. She’s so bubbly and bright; it’s easy to do, even though you don’t know her. “You guys look so great tonight; you’re going blow us all away tomorrow.”
“She’s going to blow me away tomorrow.” Dylan jokes, but you can tell by the twinkle in his eye that he’s entirely serious.
“Oh stop.” Ashley knocks his arm. “And you too,” She gestures at you. “You look amazing! How’d you do your hair like that?”
“This?” She nods and you walk her through it quickly; it’s a look that’s so much more simple than it looks and she’s gasping by the time you’re done. 
“Ok, mhmm.” She nods. “I’m getting your number from Morgan later so you can go over that with me again because I’m definitely going to forget.”
Morgan flicks a piece of your hair. “It’s a hairstyle, what could you possibly forget?”
You and Ashley exchange a look. “I got you.” You reassure her as you both laugh at him.
“Men, honestly.” She shakes her head, as Morgan and Dylan protest, but then before you and Ashley can talk any more, she and Dylan are being called away, and there’s promises for you all to catch up tomorrow at the wedding.
“You can’t have her phone number unless you promise not to talk about me.” Morgan says.
“Fat chance.” You tell him. “But nice try.”
From there, you start making your way back to his parents, stopping off to chat quickly with relatives he recognizes (and once, ducking purposefully into a small crowd to avoid an aunt he doesn’t want to see). You feel like it shouldn’t be surprising how nice his family is, given how genuine Morgan is, but each person you meet welcomes you so warmly, with kind words and open arms. 
“You must talk about me a lot.” You tease, as you two start making your way to your table.
Morgan shrugs. “More than I’d realized apparently.” You cackle and he laughs; it’s familiar and easy, but then you’re easily distracted by the appetizers coming to the table and fighting Morgan for extra of your favorites-also familiar and easy.
-----
It’s another morning of Morgan waiting impatiently for you, being rewarded with his gaping jaw dropped, and teasing him the entire ride to the wedding, before he easily gets his revenge when you tear up at the ceremony.
“You don’t even know these people!” He nudges you forward toward his cousin in the reception line right after the ceremony. “And you’re going to cry like that?”
“It was a beautiful ceremony!” You defend. You’d been right yesterday; Ashley had easily blown everyone away from the moment she’d entered the room. Their vows were incredible; you didn’t understand how anyone wasn’t crying.
Morgan snickers, nudging you forward again. “God, what do you do at weddings you actually know the people at?” He pauses as you both step closer another, like the idea has just come to him. “Oh man, what are going to do at your own wedding?”
“Bawl my eyes out, obviously.” You say dryly. “Tell my future husband to bring tissues.” You move up, next in line for Ashley and Dylan. “You clearly didn’t get the message.”
“What’d you do?” Ashley pokes him; you guess whoever was in front of you was a guest she didn’t know all that well because they’ve moved along pretty quickly.
“Me? I’d never.” Morgan says innocently, ducking down to kiss her cheek.
“I’m just giving him a hard time.” You agree and she grins, shocking you when she pulls you in for a hug. 
“He probably deserves it.” She says cheerfully.
“Wow, I see family loyalty goes a long way here, huh.” Morgan deadpans.
Ashley gives him a look. “Not for much longer, I guess, though?” She nudges him.
“Oh I see how it is, you’ve been married for all of five minutes and suddenly Dylan’s family is better than ours?” Morgan teases.
Ashley blinks. “That is...not how I meant that at all.” She says, but before she can say anything else to you, the couple behind the two of you starts sighing impatiently, and you all realize how long you’ve been talking for. You quickly congratulate her and then move along to Dylan as well, before stepping out of line and moving towards the reception area.
The bridal party was quick to get the reception started after the ceremony, so when you and Morgan make your way over, there’s already a decent sized group chatting and drinking. You both grab drinks from the bar and make your way to a group of his cousins, chatting for a while and laughing along as they’re sure to include you in all of their jokes.
When it comes time to start making your way to your table for dinner, you excuse yourself to the bathroom quickly, running into Morgan’s grandmother when you’re there, who had the same idea as you it seems.
She lights up when she sees you fixing your hair in the mirror, stepping up to wash her hands. “It looks great.” She assures you and you smile, thanking her. “Are you having a good time?”
You nod, following her out so the two of you can make your way back to the reception. “Such a good time! Everyone’s been amazing and Ashley and Dylan are beautiful; it’s been a great weekend!”
“It’ll be great to be all be here again,” Morgan’s grandmother smiles at you and you return it politely. “Next summer.” She adds, like an afterthought, and you shrug. She’d know better than you what the upcoming engagements look like. You can barely remember the names of the people you’re seated with tonight.
“If Morgan brings me back then.” You throw her a finger gun and she laughs-loudly.
“Oh, you’re a trip!” She nudges you gently, laughing. “Such a doll. Let’s get another glass of wine together before we go back, shall we?”
“I will never say no to that.” You’re pretty sure you still have a couple minutes to spare before you need to sit down. 
His grandmother links arms with you. “My kinda gal.” She beams and her smile is contagious, just like Morgan’s is when he’s really happy, so it’s not hard to grin along with her as she tugs you along for another glass of rosé.
-----
The evening’s winding down- the wedding long over and the after party beginning to do so as well. Almost all of the older relatives have made their way home or to their hotel rooms but there’s a few sloppy cousins and friends still going hard (you’ve got some serious concerns how the one groomsman is even going to make it upstairs). Ashley and Dylan keep stealing glances at each other, like they’re wondering if it’s late enough for them to sneak away yet, but each time they look like they’re going to, someone calls for another toast.
Morgan nudges you. “Hey.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a couple cigars. “Outside with me?”
You think about it for a second. Usually, you love a good cigar-and you’re sure that Morgan’s managed to acquire a good one- but tonight? “Not really in the mood, but I’ll come out.”
He grins, a little crooked, and offers his hand to help you up from the couch the two of you have been sitting on. Outside, the weather is beautiful, one of those crystal clear nights with a light breeze where you feel like you could be outside for hours. He lights the cigar while you continue to sip at your wine, the two of you standing in comfortable silence, until the door opens again.
“Cigars without me?” His brother grumbles. “I see how it is now.”
“Yup, just left you behind on purpose.” Morgan says shamelessly, but he’s already pulling the spare out of his pocket and handing it over.
“Unsurprising.”
“Yeah?” Morgan asks, amusedly. “Why’s that?” 
His brother gives him a look, and then, when Morgan doesn’t react, looks over at you, but you just shrug. “Just promise you won’t forget about me once you pop the question.”
You choke on your drink; Morgan looks just as shocked, the cigar halfway to his mouth. “What?” He says finally.
For the first time, his brother looks unsure. “I think...we all just thought...once you brought her home, that was the only thing holding you back?”
“Oh my god.” Morgan says breathlessly.
“I’m not-” You add helplessly. “We’re not-”
“Oh.” His brother winces. “Wait, so you’re not…” He trails off and the silence between the three of you becomes so thick it’s almost palpable. You don’t know what to do, what to say. What he even means. “You’re not together?” He says finally, sounding like he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else.
You can relate. You shake your head slowly, notice Morgan’s doing the same out of the corner of your eye.
“Um.” His brother continues. “And-and you haven’t been-together?” Another head shake. “Wow. A lot of people are going to be very disappointed.”
“A lot of people?” Morgan repeats. “Who...who all thinks this?” But you don’t need an answer to know and apparently, he doesn’t either. The silence thickens somehow; you didn’t think it was possible. 
“Um.” His brother’s already backing away, even as he speaks. “I’m gonna go now. Before I say anything else to make this worse.”
He’s gone before you can tell him you’re not sure that’s possible, leaving you and Morgan in the loudest silence you’ve ever experienced. 
It’s abundantly clear Morgan feels it too, from the way he won’t even meet your eyes, will barely even look at you, actually. And there’s so much to say here, but well, “You never brought Laura to meet your family? Never let them meet her at home?” Apparently, they really weren’t as serious as you’d thought.
Morgan laughs hollowly, finally meeting your eyes. “That probably should have been a clue, huh?”
“A little bit of a red flag.” You agree. It’d been how many years? Morgan’s tight with his family, that much you knew before you’d come out here and only became clearer as you met them. “Why...why didn’t you ever introduce them?”
Morgan sighs. “I think-I always knew something wasn’t right. And I just didn’t want to admit it?” He sighs again. “I shouldn’t have brought you into this.”
“You didn’t know.” You tell him gently. “And I wanted to come.” You remind him. “I was happy to!” You pause for a second. “I was happy to come across the country to a wedding with you and your family with barely a second thought. So maybe we both need to re-examine what happened here this weekend.”
“Maybe we don’t.” Morgan says simply.
“What?” You frown, confused.
“You were happy to fly across the country for a wedding with me and my family.” Morgan repeats, with a small smile on his face. “And then you come here and meet my entire family, and they think I’m ready to propose to you, because you're the girl they hear me talk about all the time.” Your jaw drops-is he saying...what you think he’s saying-and his smile grows into a grin. “I think this thing between us has been more than either of us have been able to admit because we’ve had other things going on- school or hockey or-”
“Other girlfriends?” You supply teasingly, when he trails off, like he’s afraid to mention her name.
He nods. “There’ve been other boyfriends, too.” He nudges you, just as teasing.
“There have.” You admit, because it’s not a lie, but none of them have ever worked out, for a variety of reasons, but you can’t help but think, that now that he’s mentioning it, Morgan might have been a part of those other reasons.
He’s back to smiling again when he continues, leaning against you slightly. “I think we owe it to ourselves to see what we could be.”
You lean back against him. “You do, do you?”
“I do.” He nods.
“Little early for that, don’t you think?” It takes a second for your joke to land, but once it does, he cracks up and it brings a smile to your face. 
“We are at a wedding.” He grins, nudging you playfully. “Who knows, maybe someday it’ll be ours?”
-----
a bit in the future
It’s one of those beautiful sunny days where the sun is shining with a light breeze where you feel like you could be outside for hours. 
Unfortunately, you’ve got a huge project due at the end of the week, so while Morgan’s been enjoying the lake all day, you’ve been sitting at a table on the dock, staring at your laptop, tapping away at your keyboard, and ignoring his increasingly annoying calls for attention.
It’s harder to ignore when he comes up next to you, wrapping his wet arms around your shoulders. “Morgan.” You try to shake him off. “Come on, gimme like ten minutes and then I’ll come in.”
“Promise?” He asks.
“Yes.” You say because if you can get this one last thing done you’ll be ahead of your goal for the day.
It works; Morgan sits down next to you quietly, scrolling through his phone for a bit, and then, jumps up and runs inside the cabin, and you jump on the opportunity of quiet to get ahead even further, losing yourself in your next bit of project.
“Hey,” Morgan says casually, and it scares you a bit, his return far quieter than he’s been all day. “What are you doing the weekend of July 8th?”
“I don’t know, that’s like a year away!.” You snap, turning to tell him to stop annoying you, only for your jaw to drop when you see him down on one knee.
“Want to get married then?” He says, a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face, like he’s been waiting for this reaction, like it was everything and more.
“Oh my god! Are you serious?” He slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out a ring; you gasp. “Morgan!”
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes, oh my god, yes!” Your computer long forgotten in the face of an engagement ring, you throw yourself at Morgan, who catches you easily, like he was prepared for this. He probably was. He knows you better than anyone; he’s your best friend and so much more. He barely manages to slip the ring on your finger before you’re kissing him. “I love you!”
“I love you, too.” He grins. “Are you sure you’re ready to take this jump with me?”
“Of course!” You beam, but it hits you just a minute too late. He’s already jumping in the water. “You’re the worst.” You sputter out at him, purposefully spitting lake water at his face. 
He doesn’t even look like he minds. “For better or worse.” He grins.
“That’s not what that’s referring to!” You splash him and he splashes back but before it can devolve into a full on splash attack, he’s pulling you into his arms.
“I mean it though.” He says, kissing you again. “And I’ll tell you again, next summer, at our wedding.”
Our wedding. The words sound almost unreal, too good to be true. “I’ll be the one in white.” You promise. “Or, well, maybe ivory.” You say and it’s hard to kiss Morgan then when he’s laughing so hard.
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rynnaaurelius · 3 years
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Titan’s Curse But Make It Time Loop: Nico di Angelo Edition
-Okay so I’m at work and not doing much and who wants to actually edit your shit drafts for your actual WIPs so that they’re less bad? No one, that’s who
-So I had an idea: The Titan’s Curse. Also known as the book where people start to die. It sucks to be a demigod in this book--for the first time in the original series, it really does.
-Not everything is fixed, not everyone is saved, and people start to have to make really tough decisions.
-So we fix it. Not by throwing Percy, or Annabeth, or Thalia, or, hell, even Bianca or Grover into the mix.
-Throwing the marginally more grown-up, more trained, and more knowledgeable demigods into the fire, who’d get everyone alive and safe by the third time ‘round? Nah.
-We’re making Nico fix this.
-Because here’s the thing about Nico di Angelo: Sure, he grows up to become a major badass, the Ghost King, so on and so forth. But not yet.
-For now, Nico is baby, a ten-year-old whose experience with any kind of fighting consists of one (1) Capture The Flag game and who’s still half-reliant on Mythomagic to explain what the fuck is happening.
-He’s also got the worst knowledge makeup possible! He knows he’s a son of Hades, which is bad, he knows to stick monsters with the pointy end of swords but nothing else, he knows that Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace are Very Big Deals (But also doesn’t know why beyond parents), and he’s, at best, vaguely aware that there’s some kind of bad prophecy hanging around.
-Also by the end of the book, he’s just been told his last immediate family who isn’t Hades is dead in one of the worst ways possible, and he--pretty irrationally IMO, but Nico’s a kid who has been through a lot recently, so we’re not holding that against him--blames Percy Jackson.
-Literally, you probably can’t pick an angstier or worse choice to run through the time travel trope. I love it.
-We’re making this kid save Bianca’s life via time loop, which happens due to. . .hmm, we’ll say the Fates did it.
-So, Loop 0 = Canon, only at the end of the day on December 21st, after the conversation with Percy, Nico falls asleep only gods know where only to wake up the day he meets Percy Jackson:
Loop 1:
-Nico doesn’t actually change anything meaningful at first.
-Spends most of it shellshocked and not unconvinced the last week (For him, anyway) wasn’t a horrible nightmare; shellshocked and staring at Percy Jackson, anyway.
-(Percy’s wondering what’s up with the silent kid his sister had talked up as a cheerful chatterbox)
-It’s only when Bianca agrees to join the quest for Artemis that he starts kicking up a fuss; demanding to go, screaming that she can’t leave him even more, not again.
-(Bianca hesitates; briefly, enough to remind Nico that she loves him. But she’s not their mother, and she needs this)
-Bianca still dies. Percy comes back pale and guilty. Nico doesn’t yell at him when he returns--he already knows. He accepts the Hades figurine so that he can throw it into the lake.
-He slinks off back into Cabin Eleven and falls asleep, hoping desperately that he gets a third chance.
Loop 2:
-He does.
Loop 3:
-After a very painful death at the hands of Dr. Thorn, Nico, generally being a straightforward person at this stage of life, takes the obvious path this time around: He tries to tell Bianca--who brushes it off as a dream.
-Annabeth still goes over the cliff when Nico takes the initiative of attaching himself and his sister to Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace at the dance. He tries to tell Percy and Thalia when Bianca still joins the Hunt, promising Nico that whatever he saw, she’ll be extra careful.
-(Bianca’s fearful of what Nico's saying, and thinks that if these sworn sisters can’t keep her safe, who can?)
-Artemis gives Nico a speculative look but agrees when he begs her to protect Bianca at all costs.
-He doesn’t get on the quest. Being a reasonable demigod of questionable parentage, he sneaks out of camp.
-He gets caught, because despite being aware of his awesome new powers, he doesn’t know how to use them, and is still a ten-year-old who can barely hold a sword the right way.
-He gives Percy the puppy dog eyes and shows off said awesome new powers. Percy forces him back.
-Nico follows him.
-Repeat until Percy dies saving Nico from the Nemean Lion in Washington, DC.
-Nico can’t find it in himself to be terribly sad--especially when he doesn’t make it much longer.
Loop 4:
-He’s really stuck like this, huh?
-Oh, Di Immortales.
-(Before Percy gets his chest ripped to shreds by a lion and Nico meets skeleton cats, he learned how to hold a sword properly and curse fluently in Greek. Percy probably only meant to teach him one of those things)
-In unrelated news: Having a big crush on a guy who thinks he’s only known you for a couple hours? Terrible.
-Trying to hate the guy who let your sister die when he’s that stupid and nice? Even worse.
-That stupid lion.
Loop 5, 6, 7, 8, 9:
-Nico repeats: That stupid lion.
-Somewhere in Loop 7 he starts to steal supplies out of the camp store when he follows Percy following the quest.
-They forcefeed the lion enough trail mix and frozen ice cream in Loop 9 that they don’t die this time.
-At least until someone called the General shows up and Nico’s dead before he can raise his sword.
Loop 10:
-Nico wakes up in his and Bianca’s room in Westover and starts crying. Bianca tells the headmaster they’re both sick and Nico lets her hold him all day.
-They fall asleep and Nico swears he won’t let her die again.
Loop 11, 12, 13:
-He wakes up and he still can’t get out of bed without feeling that blade cutting between his ribs, burning like it’s on fire.
-Gods, he’s so sorry, Bianca. Dispiace tanto.
Loop 14:
-He can get up without feeling like he’s about to die again. Bianca fusses but assumes it was just a bad dream.
-Nico is caught stealing and can’t follow Percy until it’s too late.
-Everyone assumes this means he’s a son of Hermes, however, and Nico can’t correct them without opening his mouth and letting the sobbing laughter out.
-Figuring he’s about to get another chance next round anyway, he takes Travis and Connor Stoll up on their offer to learn a thing or two so that he doesn’t get Cabin Eleven slapped with kitchen duty from now until Doomsday.
-He likes the Stolls. He spent most of the time, pre-looping, actively avoiding everyone at camp as he waited for Bianca and Percy to come back, but they’re not that bad.
-Percy comes back with the figurine and no sister and Nico remembers why he’s stuck.
Loop 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23:
-After Loop 12 and being killed in Washington DC again, Nico realizes: He needs to learn how to fight.
-Unless he gets killed early or refuses to leave Westover, the loop resets after seven days. So, he has seven days to train each time.
-He gets to camp, finds the arena, and meets Clarisse La Rue. He demands she teach him how to kill monsters.
-She laughs, and tells him that attitude in his size will make monsters easy to kill, they’ll laugh so hard.
-Clarisse teaches him how to swing a sword each time--but only after mocking his unamused face.
-Somehow, Percy coming back with news of Bianca’s death only hurts more each time.
Loop 24:
-Nico wakes up before Bianca this time. He looks over at her bed and knows. He’s got to try this time.
-It’s disturbingly easy making friends with Percy Jackson after the last loops.
-Bessie’s new. Cute, but new.
-Nico wonders just how much he’s missed in the past--he thinks of Annabeth Chase, and hopes she hasn’t been dying each time.
-Percy doesn’t even argue when Nico shows up in the stables with a bag slung over his shoulder, and the sword he’s been stealing out of the shed strapped to his hip.
-Nico suggests the ice cream--again--to Percy in DC before
-Nico might be getting the hang of this.
Loop 25:
-Nico is not getting the hang of this.
-Zoë Nightshade’s refusal to accept Percy and Nico on the quest--violating a prophecy, and gods, Nico’s curious if that prophecy ever mentioned this--has so far gotten them attacked and killed by spartoi once.
-And again. As Nico bleeds out on the floor, he watches a panicked blond man--a demigod--plead for mercy.
-Isn’t he on the other side?
Loop 26:
-His name is Luke Castellan and he apparently wants the gods dead.
-Nico can relate at this point.
-The General is Atlas, and Nico knows enough about Greek mythology, real and wrong, at this point to know that is bad.
Loop 27:
-Twenty-six tries, but they finally make it out of DC. Threatening the questers with Atlas killing them all is more than enough.
-For the first time, Nico doesn’t know what happens next. He glues himself to Bianca’s side and glares at anything suspicious.
-With help that Percy refuses to name, even when Nico tries his hardest, they go to New Mexico.
-There’s a boar and it’s so close, they make it to what the others are calling “the junkyard of the gods”.
-Nico sees the Hades figurine on the ground.
-Bianca grins in delight and picks it up, calling for him.
-He can’t help it.
-Nico starts screaming.
Loop 28:
-His sister’s murderer was never Percy Jackson.
-His sister’s murderer was a force of mechanics that makes Nico fully understand, for the first time, what the gods are, beyond stats on a card.
-Talos.
-Nico is going to destroy him.
Loop 29:
-She dies.
Loop 30:
-Again.
Loop 31:
-Again.
-Loop 32, 33, 34, 3536373839FortyFo r t y O n  e--:
-Again. Again. Again. Again again againagainagainagainAGAIN--
Loop 42:
-Nico gets out of bed. He finds Percy Jackson at the dance, hugs him, and tells him he’s sorry.
-Nico walks outside and waits for Dr. Thorn in the snow. He can feel the shadows curling at the edge of the wood like a sixth sense, now. Waiting for him to summon the restless dead out of them.
-So many attempts to save his sister, ranging from sacrificing himself to sacrificing Percy--not that Percy needs the push, Nico has found--to any and all members of the quest.
-She dies. Always, always dies. Whatever Nico does, that junkyard is full of the death of Bianca di Angelo.
-He tried avoiding it. Once. Loop 33. Nico threw such a fit he’s surprised he wasn’t sent back to Camp Half-Blood by the Hunters, but it kept them out of the junkyard.
-He tries not to remember how little was left of his sister’s body by the monsters that time.
-Son of Hades. After all this time, Nico’s beginning to wonder if this is what it means. Death and death and death.
-Dr. Thorn walks outside, and Nico can feel a ghoulish grin crossing his face that has no place on a ten-year-old.
-One of them is going to die, this loop. And Nico will not go to New Mexico.
Loop 43:
-Nico wonders if there was a past life of his he needs to remember. Who could he have made this angry?
-He lies to Bianca and they stay in Westover again this time. Better than death, anyway.
Loop 44:
-Nico tries a different tack this time. A more roundabout way of things.
-He takes Bianca and throws the two of them in the way of the battle with the manticore.
-After all this time, he still doesn’t know much about Annabeth Chase. She gets kidnapped and returned safely to Percy every time, to the best of his knowledge.
-Nico dies holding up the sky, but at least Bianca lives, under the protection of Artemis.
Loop 45:
-Nico looks in the mirror and studies the new grey streak with fascination. And, maybe, some hope.
-Things can change.
Loop 46, 47, 48, 49, 50:
-Nico gets kidnapped a few times. Once, he’s killed in a rage by a Titan with horns, but it’s quick. Mostly, he holds up the sky to get Artemis out.
-She looks at him strangely each time and Nico wonders if she can see what he’s done.
Loop 51:
-They figure out he’s a son of Hades. They offer him Olympus. Olympus and Bessie--the Ophiotaurus, rather.
-Nico says no.
Loop 52:
-Nico says yes.
Loop 53:
-Being on the verge of overthrowing the gods and keeping everyone he’s grown to care for--in the case of several Hunters, against his will; in Percy Jackson’s case, Nico loves him as much as he hates him at this point--doesn’t do much, apparently.
-Nico stays in Westover again. He resists the urge to tell Bianca that would-be destroyers of Olympus don’t need to brush their hair, whatever she says.
Loop 54:
-Nico goes over the edge of the cliff again, but with Percy Jackson.
-This isn’t the first time; in Loop 46, Percy had taken the sky for both the sake of Artemis and Nico until it killed him.
-What’s different, is Nico’s in the middle of what’s become the usual panic attack when he’s about to die for the hundredth time, and his powers react.
-Percy holds him close and calls him cousin. Tells him he’ll never leave Nico.
-You have no idea, Nico whispers. You can’t leave me.
-You think I want to? Percy whispers back. You’re not alone, Nico.
-Nico’s sobbing sounds like laughter.
Loop 55:
-Nico tells Percy the truth for the third time. This is the first time he hasn’t told Bianca first.
-They’ve just found the Erymanthian Boar, Thalia’s told Nico his goth needs work--whatever that means--and Nico’s bracing himself for the junkyard again.
-Getting kidnapped by the Titans really gets old after a while.
-He still has the grey streak, and no number of excuses will fully soothe his sister, but the Hunt’s a good distraction from it.
-Nico doesn’t blame Bianca anymore for it. He thinks.
-Nearly a year into this loop and Nico’s finding it hard to blame anyone for much of anything, anymore. Especially when he sees what she’s faced. Again. And again.
-For now, this time, Percy Jackson is staring at Nico with wide eyes at what Nico’s told him--through these loops, Nico’s starting to wonder if he now knows more about Percy than Percy’s own best friends--and says he believes him.
-Once, Nico would’ve exploded from joy. Now, he just sighs and nods.
-Percy tells him how to condense the conversation for the next loop. He advises Nico to research Talos, “like Annabeth would.”
-He advises Nico to warn Percy’s next loop self about Annabeth’s kidnapping. Nico wonders if he’s gone insane that he’s considering it.
-Bianca dies.
Loop 56:
-Nico makes the executive decision this time to try and befriend Annabeth Chase. As such, he takes Percy’s advice.
Loop 57:
-It takes him two tries to befriend Annabeth Chase and learn about Talos.
Loop 58:
-Three times.
-But the nail. The nail in the ankle of Talos.
Loop 59:
-He hangs back at camp again this time and meets Charles Beckendorf, head of Cabin Nine, and son of Hephaestus.
-Nico figures that short of finding the god himself and committing temporary suicide--not that it hasn’t crossed Nico’s mind--his son will have to do.
-(He’s tried his hand at summoning ghosts, but Daedalus refuses to show, for some reason)
-Beckendorf frowns and tells Nico he would have to see Talos himself.
-Nico hadn’t realized just how much cursing he had picked up off of Percy and Thalia until that moment.
Loop 60:
-Nico knows what the prophecy says. One shall be lost in the land without rain.
-He knows it’s why he’s been failing so much.
-The trouble is, he no longer cares.
Loop 61:
-It took him a try, but he gets Beckendorf on the quest, prepared to defeat the Talos prototype.
Loop 62:
-Strike that, two tries.
-Nico really hates the Nemean Lion.
Loop 63, 64:
-Nico has solved half a problem: How to defeat Talos without putting someone inside the robot.
-The other half of the problem is now that they are all electrocuted by a dying automaton for their efforts.
Loop 65:
-Beckendorf’s crush--girlfriend? crush, they’re both insisting--Silena Beauregard comes along this time. Nico won’t complain over the extra manpower, even if he’s positive that eight campers and Hunters are patent overkill for one quest.
-Silena pulls Bianca out of the wreckage. Nico’s heart stops.
-Silena’s crying when she mentions that if they had been a bit earlier, she could have been revived.
-Nico wonders if Thalia’s going to stab him as he starts whooping. And takes notes about where Talos falls.
Loop 66:
-Nico swears, if Percy Jackson tries to sacrifice himself for Annabeth Chase one more time--
Loop 67:
-Bianca.
-I found you, he sobs. I found you.
-Gods damn the Hoover Dam.
Loop 68:
-And again.
-Despite having the distinct inkling at this point that he doesn’t much like like girls, Nico could kiss Silena Beauregard and Thalia Grace when they manage to revive his sister each time.
-She’s shaky and leaning on him and was dead, he could see her soul floating away--
-But she’s there.
-Nico refuses to let his sister out of the sight at the Hoover Dam and Percy befriends the Naiads this time.
-At least, until the Titans--who Nico made the very big mistake of taunting at DC--sends monsters he can’t control.
Loop 69, 70, 71, 72, 73:
-They keep dying in various combinations at the Hoover Dam now that Nico’s figured out how to save Bianca.
-At least, until he gets separated from Percy in Loop 73 and he meets a redheaded girl with a penchant for calling Nico pint-size.
-Athena dislikes Percy, Nico, Bianca, and Thalia in equal measure. Having learned of the Great Prophecy in Loop 16 and Percy’s mooning over Annabeth in. . .well, every loop, Nico can’t quite blame her.
Loop 74:
-Her name is Rachel Elizabeth Dare and Nico likes her. She takes none of their shit and if it weren’t for the fact that they already have eight people on the quest, he’d want to take her along.
-Bianca gets in a fight with the Old Man of the Sea. Thalia electrocutes him when he throws Bianca in the bay.
Loop 75:
-Nico wakes up in Westover with the distinct feeling that he was drowned on dry land.
-He stays in bed shivering, that day.
Loop 76:
-Atlas is the father of Zoë Nightshade. Nico learned this around Loop 50. He had realized around five loops ago that this probably meant she was going to die “by a parent’s hand.”
-He hadn’t realized that it was going to hurt to watch.
Loop 77, 78, 79, 80, 81:
-Now that he’s figured things out to about San Francisco, it seems the world is out to get him. The number of fights or mistakes that he either makes himself or has to head off are ridiculous.
Loop 82:
-Nico is so very tired. And wishes he felt ten years old again.
Loop 83:
-If Thalia gets in one more fight with Nereus, Nico's going to walk into the sea.
Loop 84:
-He wanders off, in this one. Grover had been killed in Hoover Dam, so Nico’s waiting for the reset at this point.
-In the meantime, Nico figures there are worse things to do than enjoy a good afternoon in San Francisco. He even meets a boy in a purple shirt.
-His name is Jason and he has hair like the sun.
-If he ever fixes this, Nico wants to find him.
Loop 85:
-Nico’s not fast enough in the junkyard.
-In San Francisco, he tries to find the ugliest, biggest trouble he can find.
-He finds a pair of teenagers in armor who yell Latin at him instead.
Loop 86:
-There’s a dragon that will attack them in the Garden of the Hesperides if they make it angry enough and Nico is so tired.
Loop 87:
- Zoë Nightshade is dead. They’ve won.
-Funny definition of “win”, considering they’ve all almost died this loop about a dozen times each, and Nico can’t explain why he’s crying on the body of a Hunter he only met a week ago, in their eyes.
-She hates him, some loops. More loops, she looks at him with ghosts of old grief in her eyes and hands him a knife.
-The gods execute Bessie, and then, Nico watches as his father turns to him and Bianca with sorrowful eyes.
-Nico should’ve figured, after almost ninety loops.
Loop 88:
-Luke offers one of them the entrails of Bessie again.
-Nico takes them.
Loop 89:
-For all the good it does. Nico wakes up as he does every time now: Powerless, in bed, and with only a grey streak to show for his efforts.
Loop 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98:
-Nico doesn’t know how to save Zoë Nightshade. Bianca, he could trick and fight his way into it. Beckendorf and Silena and Percy and a loophole in lost could save his sister.
-Her, she just. . .dies. Sometimes in DC, sometimes in San Francisco, sometimes on the hills of Mt. Tamalpais. Always at the hands of Atlas.
-Always, being murdered by her father.
-It’s not as gutting as watching his sister die, but it aches more in his chest, somehow.
Loop 99:
-He sticks close to Zoë this time. Same as he’s done with Percy, Annabeth, his sister, Thalia, and Grover, time and time again. But not her, Nico is realizing. Not the clinging he’s achieving now.
-Hoping for. . .something.
-He knows better than to tell the immortal Lieutenant of Artemis the whole truth. The loneliness is enough.
-She’s less frosty to him from the start than to, say, Grover or Percy, after Annabeth goes over the cliff again. When he shows up in DC, she’s much less angry than he’s seen her.
-Along the way to New Mexico and then San Francisco, he listens. He’s grown better at it, this far in. When the others are asleep, when Bianca is being fussed over after Talos, when everyone but them is asleep by the fire, he listens.
-And she tells him about her sisters. About her father, when the world was young and Atlas had looked on every daughter of his with pride. She tells him, pride glistening in her eyes, of the battles she has seen, the hunts she has overseen at the command of a goddess, the monsters she has killed, and the epithets she has been given.
-He doesn’t ask anything of her. Not until they’re in the house of Annabeth’s father, drinking lemonade the night before the battle, and Nico knows she is about to die again.
-What do you want, he asks. You’ve done everything. What’s left?
-She stopped, ice seems to creep over her again, and Nico wondered if he’d hit some sore spot.
-He’s opened his mouth to make his apologies when she answers, so quiet and quick he thinks he’s imagined it.
-To be remembered. When my lady has taken another lieutenant, as she must, and I have gone to where all gods go when they die, I wish for my memory to remain. And. . .
-Nico waits, and ignores the sudden, terrifying thought that he no longer knows what he wants.
-I wish to see the stars again. I was born a nymph of the sunset; starlight is precious to me. I want to see it again.
-Nico dies to preserve the memory of Zoë Nightshade.
100:
-Nico di Angelo wakes up in Westover Hall. He hopes for the last time.
-He does everything right: Annabeth goes over the cliff, his sister joins the Hunt, Percy is soon his friend, and he convinces Silena and Beckendorf to join the quest.
-The Nemean Lion never stands a chance, and Nico is glad to be rid of it.
-His sister lives.
-Nico watches Percy watch Rachel Elizabeth Dare go, looking like he’s just taken a frying pan to the face, and fights the urge to snicker.
-Thalia doesn’t start a fight with Nereus, but Percy certainly does. Nico could’ve sworn he saw the boy with sun-hair again, watching with curiosity.
- Zoë Nightshade dies in the arms of Artemis and is made into the stars she loves so dearly. Nico promises her soul that he will remember.
-For, he has found, the dead have a tendency of remembering things they shouldn’t.
-Annabeth and Percy now have grey streaks to match Nico’s, and Nico can’t wait to spend the rest of his life trying to explain that.
-It’s closer than he would like, but much less close than other lives with Olympus. The Ophiotaurus is alive and safe, and they are all alive.
-As Nico walks out of the council, he looks off to the side. By the fire is the familiar girl with red eyes--the Lady Hestia, looking much closer to Nico’s age than that of the Olympian she is.
-Besides her are three old ladies. Nico’s heard about them from Percy, in Loops 26, 53, 61, and 62.
-One lady holds a ball of string that is the color of a warm umber. The other is knitting what looked suspicious like socks. The last. . .
-Scissors, in one hand. Just as expected. Nico swallowed.
-In the other, was a knot of burnt string, tied to the socks. Behind her, Nico could see discarded string of all colors: an electric blue, a stormy grey, a black that seems to glisten with the promise of a storm, string the soft, hopeful pink of love, yarn run through with bright copper.
-Glowing threads that Nico could only describe as the color of starlight.
-As he walked out, firmly between Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace, the Hunt of Artemis behind him, Nico hears one last promise:
It is done, Nico di Angelo.
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Text
I found my way home
Summary: After Spencer tells Hotch about his recent autism diagnosis, he expects that to be the end of it. Somehow, though, it keeps coming up, and Hotch keeps proving himself to be the best father figure he could have asked for. 
Tags: autistic spencer, protective hotch, hurt/comfort, fluff, paternal hotch, team as family
TW: mentions of ableism, one small instance of ableism & homophobia 
Pairing: Gen 
Word Count: 4.1k
Masterlist // Read on AO3
This was borne from my conversations with @criminalmindsvibez about the lack of autistic spencer fics and her amazing headcanons. While I'm not autistic, Emily is, and helped me to portray Spencer's autism as accurately as possible. That said, please feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong :)
Spencer had made an effort to get into work even earlier than usual today. He’d ridden the metro through the city, dipping his hand into his messenger bag every few minutes to compulsively check that the slim letter he’d received in the post the other day is still in the front pocket where he’d safely placed it that morning. He brushes his fingers over the paper once more as he enters the near-empty bullpen, the letter cool from the winter air.
It’s still so surreal to him that this is where he works. After years of dreaming of working for the FBI he’s finally here, and even though it’s been his place of work for almost two months now, he’s still not used to it. The warm offices are a nice reprieve from the wintry December wind, and he can feel himself relaxing as he heads to his desk. Leaving his coat and messenger bag on his chair, he pulls the letter out of the front pocket and runs his index finger along the edge. He finds himself biting his bottom lip as he tries to work up the courage to go and see Hotch. 
Sucking in a deep breath, he marches determinedly up to Hotch’s office, entering as soon as his knocks are answered. 
“Reid,” Hotch says pleasantly as he takes a seat opposite his desk, realising belatedly that he probably should have waited until he was invited. “You’re in early. What can I do for you?”
Nervously, Spencer hands him the letter he’d couriered across the city so carefully. He’d taken care to open it neatly with his letter opener but the return address on the back has been stamped at a crooked angle, and it bothers him every time he notices it. He can’t stop looking at it now as he taps his fingers anxiously against his leg in the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence, a safe and familiar reassurance played out by his nervous fingers. He watches apprehensively as Hotch pulls the letter out of the envelope, unfolding it and skimming his eyes down the page, taking in the news Spencer’s been so anxious to share with him.
Diagnosis: Asperger’s Syndrome
God, it had been a long process. He’d had to seek out a doctor in DC who diagnosed adults, paid for all the consultations and diagnostics himself — his insurance certainly wouldn’t cover it, not that he’d feel comfortable using his cushy FBI insurance for something so personal anyway — and the whole process had taken far longer than he’d expected. Finally, though, the envelope had arrived in the mail, and he officially had a diagnosis. 
Of course, he’d had his suspicions for years, especially after one of his professors during his second PhD had casually asked whether he’d ever been tested, planting a seed in his brain that led to many late nights in the library, reading all the literature available to him. It’s why he’d found it strange that it had felt so validating to finally receive that letter in the post. But it had.
The label made sense, and now that he had a diagnosis from a medical professional he felt comfortable to share it with others; he’d been far too paranoid about being questioned, not being believed or lectured about the evils of self-diagnosis no matter how he was confident in himself. He didn’t tend to be an insecure or self-conscious person, but after years of bullying and trauma surrounding what he now knew for sure to be his autistic traits, he couldn’t help but feel almost protective of his affirming label. 
Now though, it’s an irrefutable statement. Dr Spencer Reid has autism, and the first person he wants to tell is Hotch.
“I had no idea you were getting tested, Reid,” Hotch says, a hint of surprise bleeding into his voice. “Is there any specific reason you wanted to share this with me?”
“Well… I felt like someone on the team should know,” Spencer starts carefully, afraid to give too much of himself away, “and I thought that someone in a leadership position was the best option. Gideon has never been very… supportive of my autistic traits or behaviour, so I thought that you— that you would be the best option.” He feels awkward, fidgeting in his chair as he watches Hotch’s serious face and kind eyes absorb the information. 
“That trust in me means a lot, Reid,” he says, a rare smile making its way onto his face. In that moment, Spencer knows he made the right decision. “How can I make things easier for you? Is there anything you need me to be doing differently?”
“Uh—” He hadn’t really been anticipating that question and it catches him off guard: he’d predicted a quick nod of acknowledgement, a request to photocopy the letter so it can be put on file followed by a swift dismissal, but the letter is now sitting on his side of the desk: clearly, Hotch intends on keeping this between them. This is far from what he expected.
“Why don’t you start by telling me about autism and how it might affect your work?” Hotch corrects himself, recognising quickly Spencer’s need for specifics. “I’ll admit I don’t know much beyond some probably rather unhelpful stereotypes.”
Spencer nods. He can answer that question. “As everyone knows I often go off on tangents,” he begins, “and that’s because my special interests — or hyperfixations — often coincide with our work, so I know a lot about the topics we’re investigating. If I do that, just redirect me to the case and I’ll be fine. It’s also really hard for me to have to present myself in a certain way all the time. Vocal stims and gestures are the most satisfying to me but I often have to mask them, which I’ve never been very good at anyway, and it’s fairly exhausting. That’s why I often excuse myself; I go to the bathroom or a secluded hallway and stim on my own. My doctor also told me I tend to overcompensate in social situations and over-perform emotion. Those are the basics, I guess, but it’s a very complex disorder and since it makes up me as a human being, I can’t exactly explain all of it in one conversation.”
“No, that’s fine, Reid, you’ve given me a good picture of what to expect, thank you.” Hotch smiles at him, fondness in the crinkles around his eyes and the softness invading his usually stern expression. “First of all, you never have to feel like you need to excuse yourself to stim. Do you think it would be helpful if we told the rest of the team so they know what to expect? I’m assuming vocal stims are saying certain words or making sounds…?”
Spencer nods. 
“Okay, so if you needed to do that we could just continue the conversation while you get it out of your system. Gestures certainly wouldn’t be a problem. How do you feel about that?”
He hadn’t really considered telling the rest of the team but it seemed sort of intimidating, like he’d be opening a vulnerable side of himself to people he didn’t even know that well. On the other hand, they’d all been so understanding of his quirks and odd behaviour so far without even knowing the reason behind it. He’d never once been made to feel the way he used to at school, forced to either pretend to be someone else completely or be isolated and ostracised. 
He settles for, “I’ll think about it.” 
“That’s fine. There’s no pressure,” Hotch assures him. “I’m very happy you told me, Reid. I hope you know you can come and talk to me about anything, whether it’s about this or something completely different.”
Spencer leaves his office with the letter back in his hands, no notes or copies having been made, feeling almost elated. Never in a million years would he have expected that to go so well. 
⭐️
He doesn’t really expect it to come up again. He’d told Hotch so that he could understand him a bit better, and also because Hotch had quickly assumed a protective, almost paternal role in his life and he wanted to share the piece of news with him whether he was leading his department or not. That was supposed to be it, though, he didn't think anything would materially change, especially since he decided not to tell the team about the diagnosis just yet.
But almost immediately after he’d told Hotch his diagnosis, his rambles began to be gently redirected back to the case, sometimes without him even noticing. He wasn’t rudely cut off by anyone anymore, Hotch always steering him back on course before anyone else can jump in and hurt Spencer’s feelings. It’s so… kind that it almost feels foreign, and he finds himself gravitating towards the older man more and more, sitting next to him on every jet journey and staying glued to his side during cases. 
His newfound protectiveness over Spencer is only demonstrated more clearly a few months after their conversation in Hotch’s office when they’re on their way to New Mexico for a case. The second he spots that the murder victims had all been found with different Fitzgerald quotes scrawled on sheets of paper found in their own personal notebooks, ripped out and left for investigating officers to find, he launches into an info-dump to rival info-dumps. 
He can’t help that literature is a special interest of his, made all the more intense by the fond childhood memories of reading to his mother in her bed. Fitzgerald had been her favourite author of the Modern Era, and he’d spent hours analysing significant passages in his novels as a child, so he starts explaining the literary merit of each of the quotes left at the crime scenes. 
Apparently, he doesn’t hear the first two times Hotch tries to direct him back on topic, but he hears it when Gideon shouts, “Spencer! Long and unnecessary tangents are not conducive to actually solving these cases. Get back on topic. Now.” He’s loud enough to briefly knock him back several decades to memories of his father screaming at his mother’s schizophrenic babbling, when she’d become convinced that the villains of her favourite novels were trying to break into the house.
Spencer stops mid-sentence and stares at Gideon, who is staring right back. Everyone’s watching the two awkwardly, but the short moment of silence is quickly broken by Hotch. “There is absolutely no need to be that rude, Jason,” he says disapprovingly, while he lays a hand on Spencer’s arm in a light, absent-minded sort of touch. “Reid may have been off-topic but he deserves respect just like everyone else on this team. Nobody needs to be shouted at like that.” He directs his attention back to Spencer. “Why don’t you tell us how those Fitzgerald quotes could help us solve the case, Reid?” 
He gives him an encouraging look, and when he looks around the jet, everyone else is, too. Carefully, he starts speaking again, a little afraid of being cut off again, but after a few sentences of relevant explanation he regains his momentum. It’s more than a little vindicating when it’s his ‘unnecessary tangent’ that ends up being the key to cracking the case. 
⭐️
Soon after Hotch’s split from Haley, he approaches Spencer one evening when they’re the only two left at the office with a dinner invitation. Within the hour, they walk into a nice, low-key Italian place in the city and take a seat in the far corner of the restaurant. 
“Is everything okay?” Spencer asks a little uncertainly, confused as to why his boss is suddenly taking him for dinner. 
“I had this idea almost as soon as you told me about your autism,” Hotch explains, knowing by now that preambles and niceties only frustrate Spencer instead of setting him at ease. “I wanted to take you out for dinner every week to try and give you a space to ramble about all your special interests and not feel like you have to mask around everyone. But when I was with Haley, all my personal time was obviously spent with her and Jack. Now, I have the time to dedicate to you and all the incredible knowledge you’re hoarding in that brain of yours.”
“Really?” Spencer asks excitedly. The idea of uninhibited space to talk about the recent knowledge he’s acquired and not have to feel insecure or worry about performing social skills he doesn’t see the point of is everything he’s ever wished for, and something so wonderful being provided by Hotch only makes it better. 
“Really.”
Spencer wastes no time. He dives right in. “I was just watching a documentary the other day about volcanoes and their ability to trigger lightning storms with their voltage,” he begins. “Basically, magma rises toward the volcano’s surface, its water rapidly turns to vapor, which shatters the molten rock into tiny particles and creates charged particles. When the ash plume erupts into the atmosphere, the densely packed particles collide, driven by momentum. Friction then affects their electrons, becoming electrically charged. Positively and negatively charged electrons separate in the ash plume which creates a charge imbalance that builds an electric charge strong enough to trigger a lightning storm.” 
“That’s incredible.”
“I know,” Spencer says excitedly. “If the ash plume rises high enough in the atmosphere ice forms, and when ice, hail, and supercooled liquid droplets collide, the rates of lightning explode, it’s crazy.”
They’re briefly interrupted by a waitress taking their orders, but as soon as she leaves, Hotch gets him to jump back in. “What about that lecture you attended last week… the literature of 18th Century England or something?”
“19th Century English Lit, yeah!” He’s so eager to finally share this with somebody who will genuinely listen to him, and he can’t help it when his arms start to flap excitedly. Remembering where he is, he doesn’t try to mask it, pin his arms to his sides and simply deal with and suppress the innate urge to stim, he lets his body do what it wants to. Instead of eliciting a strange, sideways look, Hotch just smiles fondly.  
“The lecturer had this fascinating theory on Dickens. I’ve always seen him as a pretty straight forward author of picaresque fiction, obviously combined with facets of melodrama. And it’s common knowledge that he was inspired by the novel of sensibility, of course. But I’d never thought about the stylistic and lexical choices in his works beyond standard analysis, and this lecturer went on a deep dive into his use of collocation and it opened my eyes…”
He spends the whole evening stimming to his heart’s content while detailing every current interest of his to Hotch, who simply listened intently while eating his meal slowly, dragging out the meal for as long as Spencer needed. “Let me give you a lift home,” Hotch insists after footing the bill, leading him out into the warm evening air.
“Oh, I don’t mind taking the metro,” he replies truthfully. 
“I know. But it would make me feel better to drop you home safely. It’s late and seeing you into your apartment building would give me peace of mind.”
“Sure,” Spencer agrees happily, he’s still buzzing from such a nice evening and the least he can do for Hotch is let him rest easy tonight, so he climbs into the passenger side of his car. A few minutes into the car ride home, he realises he should probably actually verbalise just how much he enjoyed dinner. “Thank you, Hotch. I don’t think anybody’s ever done something so nice for me before.”
“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” Hotch replies, smiling even though he doesn’t take his eyes off the road. Spencer very much likes it when Hotch uses his first name, and he’d been doing it all evening. He doesn’t really understand why it feels so nice, just that it makes him feel… special, maybe.
“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he repeats, before freezing as he realises what he’s said. He’s got so used to not masking all evening, he’s not in the right rhythm and mindset to suppress the urge to repeat Hotch’s words. He’s been so nice the whole evening, the last thing Spencer wants is for Hotch to think he’s mocking him. 
“Hey, it’s okay,” Hotch reassures him, tapping his arm lightly as he smiles encouragingly. 
“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he says again, repeating it a few times in relief before the itch is satisfied. He really does have the best boss/friend in the whole world. There’s no doubt about that. 
⭐️
Rossi’s initial reaction to Spencer had admittedly been a bit rocky, and having Hotch undeniably on his side was the only thing that made those first few months bearable. He never let them go off on their own; never put Spencer in a position where he’d have to be alone with him. Gradually, though, Rossi adjusted to his quirks and he became almost as protective of Spencer as Hotch.
That doesn’t bode well for the local sheriff when they’re on a case in North Carolina. He’s been prickly since they arrived, being as stubborn and uncooperative as possible, slowing down their progress on actually solving the case, and Spencer’s noticed him being a little extra rude to him in particular. It doesn’t massively bother him — it’s not exactly like someone’s aversion to him is a novel concept — but he can feel some sort of tension coming from the others. It happens a lot more now that they know about his autism and are more aware of themselves and others.
He tries to ignore it the best he can; he puts his head down and focuses on the geographical profile, going wherever he’s sent. Besides, the sooner they solve this case the sooner they can get out of North Carolina and back to DC. On their third day on the case, he’s working quietly in their designated corner of the police department alongside Hotch and Rossi while the others are out investigating in various different places. It’s a nice environment, and even though both men are his superiors, he feels more relaxed in their company than in anybody else’s.
It’s a relatively pleasant morning — considering the whole trying to catch a brutal serial killer thing — until they need to ask the sheriff a question. He saunters over, a tense and angry expression on his face, and Spencer can’t help but feel a little off, the confusing tension in the air that Spencer can’t quite identify making him anxious in his inability to properly decipher it. “Gentlemen,” he says, already frustrated. Spencer suspects it’s a pride thing; not many police departments like being shown up enough to have the FBI called in.
Eager to know the answer to their question, Spencer’s the one to jump in and ask. “Sheriff, we were just wondering whether the town gets much traffic from the local university or—”
He’s cut off by the sneering, towering man. “I’m not taking any questions from your kind,” he says aggressively. 
“I’m sorry?” Spencer squeaks as Rossi and Hotch both prepare to say something in response.
The sheriff cuts them off before they can get their likely diplomatic and calming words out. “Homo retards aren’t welcome around here.”
“Hey!” Rossi shouts as he leaps out of the chair, grabbing him by the collar as he’s helped by the element of surprise. “You don’t fucking talk to Spencer like that, you hear me? Weak, cowardly men like you—”
“Dave,” Hotch says placatingly, putting a hand on his shoulder and diffusing the situation. “Listen, Sheriff, we are only here to help you. But if you can’t respect my agents then we’re going to have a problem. Either you’re civil to Dr Reid, or I’m reporting you to the NC Sheriff’s Association. You hear me?”
The sheriff’s pride is clearly wounded, but he at least nods before giving them all a scornful look and walking away. 
“We didn’t even get to ask the question,” Spencer says anxiously, suddenly feeling out of his depth, like he can’t quite get enough air. 
“Dave, try and get an answer,” Hotch directs, taking charge of the situation. “Spencer, come with me.” He takes him into a secluded hallway for a little privacy, sitting him down on the cool linoleum before sinking down next to him. “You’re okay.”
“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Spencer whispers over and over to himself as he rocks backwards and forwards, trying desperately to self-soothe.
“Do you want me to touch you?” Hotch asks. He’s been in enough of these situations with Spencer to know he’s usually in two very different headspaces: he either longingly craves the grounding touch of a hug or a hand on his back, or he needs complete space. He’s also learned that asking outright is the only way to get an direct answer. 
“Yes,” Spencer replies, before repeating it over and over again as he’s wrapped up in Hotch’s arms, head pressed against his chest, his hand pressing gently against the back of Spencer’s head. He starts to calm down as he manages to breathe to the heat of Hotch’s calm, steady heartbeat, the comforting touch of someone he trusts with his life also helping to bring him back down to earth. A good ten minutes after the altercation with the sheriff, he’s feeling much better and brings his head out of it’s safe cocoon between Hotch’s chest and hand. 
“Come on,” Hotch says kindly. “Let’s get back to the case, yeah? You can just sit and work quietly until you’re ready to hold a proper conversation again. How does that sound?”
Spencer nods tiredly, knowing that work will perk him back up again, and being surrounded by his team will make him feel safe, asshole sheriff or not.
⭐️
Over the years Hotch helps him through any hurdles that come his way, learning the exact nuances of Spencer’s characteristics and requirements, making sure to accommodate him in every way possible.
He brings an extra, super-soft sweater in his go-bag in case Spencer ever forgets his and needs something gentle on his skin but tight enough to make him feel secure. He buys him stimming toys, dropping them on Spencer’s desk before he even arrives at work and lets him use his office whenever the lights and noise of the bullpen get too much, drawing the blinds and giving him the space he needs. Rossi doesn’t even question it anymore when Hotch shows up with a stack of paperwork and moves into his office for the morning. 
It wasn’t until Hotch made a concerted effort to make his life easier that Spencer realised how hard it had been fighting through life on his own. So when he realises Hotch’s birthday is coming up, he decides he wants to show his gratitude. It’s never been easy for him to express emotions, especially since he’s never really found it rude when people don’t thank him, but he knows that for most neurotypical people, appreciation is important. 
So he talks it over with Derek and on Hotch’s birthday, he comes into work to see Spencer waiting in his office with balloons, a cake, a card, and a present. He’d spent hours trying to find the right words to explain how he feels, to find the right words to show Hotch just how much everything he’s done for him means, but eventually he’d settled on something simple:
Caroline B Cooney wrote: “I found my family. I found the right thing to do. I found my way home.” 
I found all of these things when I joined the BAU, but more specifically when I walked into your office, hands shaking, clasping a letter I’d been waiting for all my life. Thank you. 
Hotch reads it with tears in his eyes before taking in the cake, a classic birthday cake Spencer had bought at the store, the words “Happy Birthday Dad” written in blue icing. He didn’t really understand why the cake had stood out to him, or why he associated the word ‘dad’ with someone who wasn’t related to him at all, but he’d trusted his gut and with Derek’s cheerleading, he’d bought it. 
“Oh, Spencer,” Hotch says tearfully. “Can I hug you?”
Feeling only mildly uncomfortable at the visible display of emotion Spencer doesn’t know what to do with, he nods and steps into Hotch’s comforting embrace. “This means the world to me,” Hotch murmurs quietly as he stands, hugging Spencer for as long as the younger man can stand it. 
Spencer’s still not completely sure why he’s managed to make him so emotional, but at least he can trust that it’s a good thing, that Hotch is happy and pleased and reassured. And if he can make him feel even a smidgen as happy as Hotch has made Spencer over the years, well. He’ll consider his long and boring trip into the city to buy the cake, present and card worth it.
Quick Note: Spencer is diagnosed with Asperger’s because that part of the fic is set in 2005. These days he would be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @strippersenseii
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mochegato · 4 years
Text
Hope on Board
Chapter 7 –  Polished, Public Appropriate First Date
Chapter 1     Chapter 6
“She will like whatever you do with her.  She’s pretty easy going.” Tim advised plopping down on the couch next to an upside Stephanie, poking her in her exposed side and receiving a warning kick to the head as a result.
Dick gave Tim a cynical look and ran his hands through his hair.  He groaned and ran to the mirror to fix his now messed up hair.  
“No cologne tonight?” Stephanie asked sniffing the air.
“No.  She asked if I would hold off on it for a few weeks until her stomach settles a bit more.”  He turned to look at Tim.  “And I want it to be special.  I want her to feel special.”  His anxiety apparent in his every fidget, hesitation, and tap of his foot.
“What, you don’t think making her feel constant nausea is special?” Stephanie asked with a smirk.
Dick threw his comb at her which she caught easily.  “No, I think I have to make up for making her feel like that.  She’s been miserable constantly.  I want her to feel good.”
“You think stuffy and pretentious is the way to go if she’s feeling miserable?” Stephanie asked curiously, trying to cock her head closer to right side up in order to see him better.
“It’ll be something nice for her.  This is going to work.  She’s going to love it,” he said more to reassure himself than convince the others. “She’ll get to dress up.  Get really nice food.  Everything she needs to feel better.”
“She told you she’s been miserable?” Damian asked suspiciously.  “Seems manipulative.  If she’s even really feeling sick at all.”  He batted away the pillow Stephanie threw at him without bothering to look up from his homework.
“She isn’t like that. And she’s pregnant you tiny gremlin, with your niece or nephew, if you remember.” Tim hissed.  “And she doesn’t need to latch onto anyone.  Give her ten years and she will be one of the leading names in fashion in the world.  Why do you think I partnered with her in the first place?  She doesn’t need Dick for money.”
“Enough.  I’m not discussing this tonight,” Dick thundered, scowling at Damian.  “She hasn’t said anything, but I can hear it in her voice whenever we talk and see it in her eyes whenever I see her.  She keeps saying she’s fine and plasters on this fake smile, like she doesn’t want me to worry.”
Damian scoffed, but refrained from continuing.  Tim spoke up instead.  “She didn’t fake the vomit before our meeting earlier today… or after.”
Dick’s head whipped over to him.  “She threw up in your office today?  Twice?”
“In the bathroom, but yeah.” Tim nodded in confirmation.  “I don’t think she expected Tam to see her or tell me about it.  She threw up then went into our meeting like nothing was wrong. As soon as the meeting was over and I’d returned to the office she rushed to the bathroom and Tam said was just heaving that time.”
Steph nodded. “Probably didn’t have anything in her stomach to throw up anymore.  Happens a lot.  I don’t know if it makes it better or worse.  They both really sucked.  It all really sucked actually.  The idea of eating made you unbelievably sick, but not eating made it worse.”  She righted herself on the couch, throwing her legs over Tim’s lap and leaning against the arm rest.  “And don’t even get me started on those bitches who don’t get any morning sickness.”
Dick hummed in consideration. His brow furrowed deeper the more he thought about it.  He really didn’t want her hiding things from him, which admittedly was rather hypocritical of him, but if she was suffering, he wanted to know.  “If it’s as bad as Tim says, maybe you should let her decide where you go instead.  There’s probably food she can’t eat or makes her feel sicker than others and there may be something that her body is craving.  And it may change from moment to moment.  It did for me.”
Dick gave her a small, understanding smile.  “Thanks, Steph.  I’ll think about it.  Now, wish me luck.”  He shot them a nervous smile and left to pick up Marinette for their first date.
<><><><><> 
“Are you sure you’re okay with this,” Marinette asked again.
Dick laughed and shook his head.  “I told you, it’s fine.  I like Batburger.  This is great.”  
“But you put so much effort into something nicer.  And you definitely dressed for something more elegant,” she moaned.
He pulled her into a side hug as he guided her to a place to sit in the park.  “I hate pretentious.  I’d rather just hang around and have fun… I mean, unless you like fancy restaurants, then…”
Marinette cut him off with a laugh.  “No. No, I don’t.  I mean every once in a while is fun and I love the outfits at big events obviously, but I’d rather just do something where we can relax and have fun.  Act like ourselves, not a polished, public appropriate version of ourselves.”
Dick smiled and motioned to a bench with a nice view of the park.  She nodded and sat sideways on the bench so she could talk to him better. “You mean polished, public appropriate like cursing repeatedly at the host’s son at the biggest social event of the year?” He smirked at her.
Marinette groaned and hid her head in her hands.  “Don’t remind me.  I can’t believe I did that.”
Dick laughed and wrapped his arms around her to pull her into a comforting hug.  “It’s fine.  Very justified… considering.”  Marinette made a noncommittal grunt and leaned into his chest, lowering her hands slightly.  “But I agree,” he started slowly, “occasionally is nice, but relaxed is better.  And galas especially are draining.  They’re so boring and annoying.  Maybe next time… we can go together?” he finished quietly. His heart was pounding in his chest as he asked.  Was he being too forward?  Was it too forward to ask the mother of your child to attend a family event?  That wasn’t too forward, right?  He didn’t want to scare her off on their first date.  
Marinette looked up at him in surprise.  “You…” She smiled at him for a few moments.  She turned back to her food and pulled out her batburger.  She looked back at him with a smirk.  “Pretty confident this date’s going to go well, huh?”
Dick blinked a few times. He chuckled and gave her a charming smile, pulling his burger out as well.  “I’m hopeful.”  
Marinette looked at the burger before she took a bite and shook her head.  “I can’t believe you have a restaurant themed after your heroes.”
“Vigilantes,” he corrected her.
“Vigilantes, right. Sorry.  I’m not used to that.  Paris and New York had heroes not vigilantes.”  She moaned happily as she took a bite of her burger.  “Oh my God.  I don’t know if it’s just the pregnancy, but this is the best thing ever.”
Dick laughed and took a bite of his food.  “That’s definitely the pregnancy.”
She hummed again as she rapidly ate her first small burger.  “I don’t care.  This is exactly what I needed.”
Dick watched her for a few moments before taking another bite himself.  “So, how was your day today?  I heard you had a meeting with Tim,” he asked in as casual tone as he could manage.
Marinette’s eyes lit up. She rapidly chewed the bite that was in her mouth before launching into a description.  “It was great!  We finalized the designs today, well as much as we can considering I’m just now seeing the fabrics they designed, which means I can start working on making the designs.  Tim had some really great suggestions and now we’re starting to plan for the show for fashion week.  Thankfully, a team at WE is handling all that so I can focus on the designs.  I have more than enough time for the show, but I’ll need to have options in my store for people to buy once the show is over and that will take time.”
She took another quick bite of her second child sized burger and started bouncing in her seat.  “I’m so excited to get my hands on the textiles. I’d only been briefed on what they were designed to do and felt samples before today.  Next week I’ll get to actually work with them.  Oh, and Tim introduced me to the man who did most of the designing for the textiles.  That was amazing.  I really liked speaking with him.  I’m really looking forward to working with him more.  He was so knowledgeable and had great suggestions and considered my suggestions.  It was really enlightening for both of us, I think.  He might go back and adjust his designs based on my suggestions.  It felt like a really good understanding and respect. I was so nervous about signing the contract considering I am so new and I’ve never done… well anything, and WE is so huge.  But I think this is going to be really great for both of us.”  
Dick felt his chest tighten slightly.  Not that he was jealous.  And there was no reason to be.  This was a work colleague.  It was important that she had a good relationship with her colleagues in order to succeed and he wanted her time at WE to be enjoyable.  But that did nothing to lessen the tightening in his chest. “So, who was the designer?”  Was that nonchalant?  That was totally nonchalant, right?  He was cool.  It was fine. The woman he liked and was carrying his baby was having enlightening, amazing conversations with another man. That was fine.  Good even.  That was ideal for her.  He absolutely did not want to punch the enlightened, amazing man in his amazing, enlightened jaw.
“Lucius Fox.  He’s the sweetest man and so smart.  I don’t know how he thinks of all the things he does but it’s amazing to watch.”
Dick let out the breath he had been holding and gave her a beaming smile.  “Yeah, Lucius is amazing.  We all love him.  He’s a close friend of the family.”
“I can see why.” She nodded taking another bite.
“Anything else happen?” he prompted casually.
She considered his question. “That’s pretty much everything.  I can go into more detail on things if you want me to, but yeah, pretty much.  How was your day?  You never told me what you do.”
“Oh, I… do security with Bruce… in my own division.” He gave her a disarming smile.  It was his standard lie, but for some reason it felt wrong to use it.
“You work at WE, too?” Her eyes lit up with excitement.  “Maybe I’ll bump into you next time!  Or maybe we can get lunch together.”
“We can try.  My hours are odd.” He winced internally.  The lie was going to be harder to maintain if she was going to be there frequently.  He looked up to continue deferring the possibility but got caught in her eyes.  They were so bright and hopeful.  He couldn’t let that fade away.  He was sure she would understand, but he didn’t want her to have to.  He could come into the building more often, make the lie more realistic.  He smiled back at her.  “But I can make sure I’m there for that.  I can pick you up and take you to WE.  I can walk you to Tim’s office and give you a kiss for good luck before you start your day.”
“That sounds like an incredibly lucky start to my day.” She snuggled closer to him and gazed up in his eyes.
“It will definitely make my day better.  Anytime I see you, it makes my day better, happier,” he said earnestly, running his fingers up her arm.
She beamed at him. “Yeah?”
He looked lovingly in her eyes as he traced along her cheeks and jaw, resting his hand gently around her throat.  “Yeah,” he whispered back.
She bit her lip and looked down, a blush settling on her cheeks.  She suddenly swallowed heavily and threaded her fingers through his. She moved their hands to her lap with a reassuring squeeze.  She breathed out slowly a few times before finally looking back up with a strained smile. Dick furrowed his brow.  “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She diverted her eyes and took a small bite of her burger.  
He didn’t need to be a trained detective to read the signs she was giving out, the sudden shift from affectionate to slightly closed off.  From leaning into his touch to leaning away from him.  Her soft, warm smile turned tight and strained.  Her breathing had turned labored.  Her relaxed posture was rigid.  He would think he had done something and she was uncomfortable but she was still squeezing his hand.  “Marinette…” he urged her softly.
“Sorry,” she grumbled, looking down with a guilty look on her face.
“Morning sickness?”  She nodded, still not looking him in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not going to last forever, just a few more weeks, and… I like you touching me.  It’s just the pressure on my neck triggered a reflex. In a few weeks it’ll be fine and I don’t want you to think you should stop,” she explained, the blush on her cheeks now from embarrassment.
Dick smiled roguishly at her. “You like me touching you, huh?” Marinette rolled her eyes but her deep blush betrayed her pleasure at his comment.  Dick brushed the bangs out of her eyes, and let his fingers linger in her hair, making sure not to put too much pressure on her.  “Marinette, it’s okay to tell me the truth.  I want to know.  It isn’t a burden you’re laying on me by being honest.  You aren’t just complaining.  You’re telling me the truth.  You’re letting me be part of this.  We’re in this together, aren’t we?”
“Yes, of course,” she answered automatically.
“Then I want the truth. You’re not going to scare me off. I’m not going anywhere.  I’m not going to be disappointed in you or the baby. I’m not going to get frustrated and pull away.  I’m here for the whole messy, miserable, chaotic, amazing, miraculous process.  I want to support you, both of you.  So if you’re so sick you’re throwing up before and after meetings,” he gave her a pointed look. “I want to help.  I can pick you up or bring you food or interrupt the meeting so it doesn’t go long.”
Marinette looked down guiltily and started fidgeting with her fingers.  “Tim knew about that, huh?”
“Tim knows everything that goes on at WE,” he confirmed.
Marinette let out a long, deep sigh.  “I didn’t want him to know.”
“Why not?”
“I… I can still do my job,” she insisted.  “I don’t want special treatment because I’m carrying his niece or nephew.  I want to get better and make sure this project is successful, not get coddled.”
Dick opened him mouth then shut it again.  “Tim would go soft on you.  So would Lucius,” Dick agreed.  “But only if they thought you were doing your best.  If they thought you were shirking or not putting your best effort in, they would let you know.  But they aren’t going to push you into the hospital.  They wouldn’t do that even if you weren’t pregnant.  Okay?”
Marinette gave him an unconvinced smile but nodded.  “Okay,” she agreed.
“Alright.  So, how are you feeling?”
She shrugged.  “Right now, pretty close to okay.”
“So… not good?”
“There is no good. There’s just less terrible.  And this is just the first week of it.  I’m scared I’m going to have to start taking medicine for it and I’d really prefer not to do that.  They say it’s safe but… I don’t want to take anything unless I absolutely have to.  Hey, do you think I can get another burger?”  Dick smiled and started to pull out his second burger for her before Marinette put her hand on his arm to stop him.  “Actually, ignore that.”
He shook his head at her again.  “Marinette, you can have my burger if you want another one.”
She looked at him self-consciously.  “I know. Thank you for that, but if I eat too much it’ll make me feel sick too.  It’s better to maybe come back another time or get something small on the way home.”
Dick nodded. “Okay, if you’re sure.”  She nodded and reached into her bag, pulling out the last item in it.  She giggled and held it up for Dick to see. “Hey, baby’s first toy!” He exclaimed excitedly.
She looked at him with soft eyes and nodded.  “Baby’s first toy,” she repeated dreamily.  
Dick reached out to rub her belly but stopped just short of touching her.  “Is it… is it okay for me to…” he nodded toward his hand and her belly.
Marinette pointedly eyed his arm that were already wound around her waist, but his gaze was so earnest, her teasing comment died on her lips.  “Yeah, yeah it’s okay,” she whispered softly instead.
He ran his hand over her belly reverently.  This was his first time running his hand over the baby.  Her belly was still flat, no external indication there was more developing beneath the surface.  He could feel her lithe muscles through her shirt.  But underneath the muscles was their baby.  Their baby.  Their baby was growing and developing.  And then one day in no time at all the baby would be there, in his arms, looking at him, trusting him, needing him to protect it. And he would do anything he had to in order to make sure his child was safe.
He looked back up at Marinette with a warm smile.  He tightened his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him.  She cupped his cheek and stretched up to kiss him.
She hummed contentedly as she pulled away and laid her head on his shoulder.  He laid his head on hers and squeezed her again.  Marinette picked up the figurine to get a better look at it.  “It’s Nightwing!” She held up the small black and blue figurine for Dick to see.
Dick shook his head out of his stupor and sent her a sly smile.  “Yeah, I remember you saying he’s your favorite.”
“Oh my God.  I don’t even remember talking about him.  How embarrassing was I?”
“How embarrassing do you get?”
She stuck her tongue out at him and shoved a few fries in her mouth.  “Sorry can’t,” she motioned to her full mouth, “eating.”
Dick laughed and stole a fry from her.  Marinette gasped in mock outrage.  “You would steal a pregnant woman’s fries?  I think I need to call Nightwing to take you away.”  She winked at him.
“You’re right that was ungentlemanly of me.  Here take my fries in reparation.”  He pushed his fries over to her.
“I was kidding.  I’m not going to steal half your dinner.”
“It just means you have more for me to steal.” He smirked at her as he reached over her and past his fries to steal a few more of her fries.
She giggled and took one of his fries.  “Who’s your favorite?”
“Mine? Oh, um…” he had to think about that.  “Wonder Girl, I guess.”
“Oh I didn’t know we could include heroes.  That changes my answer.  Why is she your favorite?” She turned back to her fries missing the pout that settled on Dick’s face.
“She’s got really good moves in battle.  She uses just enough force, but not too much.  Like she is more concerned about hurting anyone unnecessarily.  But she’s really protective of her team and goes out of her way to help anyone who needs it.  Or maybe I just have a thing for black haired, blue eyed, kickass women.” He smirked at her.  He stared at her for a few moments and he knew he shouldn’t.  He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself.  “But let’s go back.  Who’s your favorite if you’re including heroes?”
“Chat Noir.”
“Wow no hesitation there at all.  That… that hurts.  I feel betrayed.  And why is he your favorite?”
“That I’m choosing a Parisian hero instead of a Gothamite?” She raised an eyebrow.  Dick mentally cursed himself.  She didn’t know he was Nightwing.  Of course she wouldn’t get the reference.  Marinette missed his grimace as she reached back to grab more fries to eat as she talked.  “He’s a really good guy.  Really sweet and kind.  I guess kind of like Wonder Girl.  He went out of his way to help everyone he came across, though I suppose all the Paris heroes did that.  He had amazing control over his powers and was so compassionate.  Always thinking of others before himself.  He saved me a few times.  Used to stop by my balcony to talk sometimes… eat some free pastries. He was a friend.  We kind of grew up together… I mean… as much as a hero can with a civilian.”
She gave him what she hoped was a convincing smile.  It wasn’t. Dick made a mental note to do some research on Chat Noir and see how close he was to Marinette.  He cringed again.  That sounded pretty creepy.  He couldn’t do that.  “I haven’t even met Nightwing,” Marinette continued oblivious to Dick’s inner turmoil, “so Chat wins by default.”  She looked at the figurine again and cocked her head to the side.  “I need to make some Miraculous team dolls for the baby.”
“Should I be jealous?” Dick raised his brow playfully.
“Over me or the Parisian hero dolls or the pastries?”  Her smile was coy but her eyes were sultry.
“How good were the pastries?” He leaned closer to her.
“Very.” She leaned in closer. “My parents make amazing pastries. So do I.”
“Maybe you can show me sometime.”
She nodded “I’d like to. I just need to know what you like.”
He traced her jaw with his finger. “I like you.”
She groaned and rolled her eyes, but moved closer to him with rosy cheeks. “You are so cheesy.”
He gave her a cheeky grin. “I haven’t even started yet.  I like your eyes.” He slowly kissed both of her eyes.  “I like your nose.” He kissed the tip of her nose.  “I like your cheeks.” He kissed both cheeks and brushed his thumbs over her cheeks after he kissed them.  “I like your ears.” He gently grazed his teeth over her ear’s shell.  His felt a warming in his chest when her breath hitched. “I like your jaw.” He laid small kisses along her jaw to the other side of her face.  “I like this spot right here a lot.” She sighed happily as he ghosted nose over a spot below her ear and kissed it.  “I like you.” He pulled her in for a passionate kiss.  She whimpered as his tongue slipped between her lips to meet hers.  She trailed her hands across his shoulders and up his neck slowly until she reached his hair.  She pulled gently to pull him closer.  His arms tightened around her waist, pulling her into his lap.
After a few moments she pulled away breathing hard and rested her head on his shoulder, focusing on the ground.  Dick waited for his breath to level back out and leaned close to her ear.  “And chocolate.  I like chocolate.”
She nodded slightly, still not looking at him and breathing deeply.  His brow furrowed in concern.  He gently rubbed her back.  “Marinette?” She hummed quietly and held up a finger to let him know to wait.  He gave her a nervous smile.  “That bad, huh?”
She chuckled lightly and took another deep breath before looking back up at him.  “Maybe we should hold off on tongues for a few weeks too.”
“Ah,” he nodded in understanding and cringed.  “Gag reflex.”
Marinette hummed and settled back against his shoulder again.  “And everything triggers it right now.  Breathing triggers it.  Thinking triggers it.  Ugh.  I can’t wait for this part to be over.”
Dick wrapped his arms tighter around her, but made sure to leave them light enough not to put too much pressure on her stomach.  “Sorry you have to go through this.  I promise to work on making my kissing less gag inducing.”
She giggled into his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of his chest shaking with laughter as well.  She pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes and rested her arms around his shoulders.  “Chocolate.  I can make that happen.”
Dick frowned at her.  “You just almost threw up again.  Maybe don’t push yourself.  I’m more worried about you than getting some pastries,” his voice was suddenly tender.
Marinette smiled up at him and ran her fingers along his cheek, settling her hand on his neck.  “I think it’s funny that you think I’m going to wait to start baking things for you or designing things for you.  I’ve already started making plans and coming up with ideas.”
“I’m not going to convince you to take it easy am I?”  She gave a resolute shake of her head.  Dick shook his head and gave a defeated sigh. “Then, I’m sure I’ll love whatever you come up with.” He leaned down to give her a chaste kiss.
Chapter 8
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