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yoichichi · 3 years

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Sitting on Karasuno’s Lap

Karasuno(sep) x reader

warning(s): reader insecurity about size, v slight timeskip spoilers Kageyama being grumpy and stupid and some grammar issues prolly 😬 i think that’s about it but lemme know if you think I need to add anything else!

a/n: got a request for reader being apprehensive about sitting on the boys from karasuno’s lap cause of their size so this is what that is! I hope this comforts u anon ily :(

And lemme say this: all these boys would most definitely love to be smothered and cuddled under their s/o pls they quite literally live for it <3

characters: daichi, sugawara, asahi, tanaka, noya, tsukishima, yamaguchi, kageyama, hinata

Daichi

I really feel like Daichi’s the kind of guy who loves picking up his s/o when they hug

He always does the classic bear hug grip around your midsection and then before you know it he’s squatting a little and lifting you up - ur size does NOT matter, if he can get your feet off the ground even a little he’s cheesing big time

He just thinks it’s so cute when you squeal or laugh and smack his arms, and you always get a hearty laugh out of him after before he grabs your face - kind of aggressively - and is leaving silly slobbery kisses all over it :((((

So basically there’s no way you can escape his infamous hugs

BUT ANYWAYS

Because of this he’d also definitely love for you to sit on his lap too!

And because he’s always lifting you when you least expect it, when you mention why you’d rather not sit on his lap he’d respect your answer and reassure you it’s not a problem,,,, while also kind of being >:( and passive aggressively explain why you most definitely wouldn’t crush him

Now next time he comes home to you, not only is he lifting you, but he’s carrying you to your bedroom to cuddle, and then maybe you’ll sigh and give in to sitting on his lap <3

Suga

He’s generally more of a lay down cuddly or holding hands in public kinda guy

But there was something about sitting down on the couch after work and seeing you come out of the kitchen with a big smile on your face that just made his heart melt and shoot his arms out with grabby hands

Of course you oblige and sit next to him and start playing with his hands, waiting for him to talk about his day, but then he’s looking at you like :( and tugging at the hem of your shirt

“No, I want to cuddle.”

When you look at him confused he groans and tugs you onto his lap with his face buried into your neck, and almost instantly you can feel him relaxing into the couch

As soon as you think he’s relaxed enough, you go to move off him, anxious you’ve been sitting on his lap too long, but when you go to move he grabs on tighter and looks up at you like 🥺

You realize that maybe he’s just fine when he pulls you father into him - if that’s even possible - and starts to drool cause he’s passed out from being so comfy <3

Asahi

It’s pretty common for Asahi to come home from a long day at work and then rest his head on your thighs while you play with his hair and let him talk about your day

It’s something he looks forward to when he’s driving home :(

Being held and comforted by your s/o is absolute heaven to him, so when you walk through the door with a big sigh while you’re rolling your shoulders, his first thought is to return the favor !

The two of you are standing in your living room now with your head in his chest while he’s rubbing your back, periodically kissing the top of your head

“Wanna sit down angel?”

When you agreed you didn’t know that meant sitting on the couch with you straddling his lap, his hand still holding your head in his chest

But before you can protest and squirm away he’s kissing you and humming while he’s still rubbing your back and soothing you :(((

This baby wouldn’t even give you a second to think about your insecurities:(

Tanaka

He’s gonna assume somebody’s said something about you almost immediately

Cause he just can’t grasp that you yourself have decided you’re too big for him

He just kind of looks at you like 🧍🏻🤨 uhhhh sit tf down I’d like you to cuddle me please 🤨?

“Tanaka, I’ll crush you.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point babe! Smother me ☺️❣️” really does not get the message here

Once you explicitly tell him you think you’re just too big to sit on his lap he kind of freaks

Like full on grabbing your face and shaking his head trying to do anything to convince you, you most definitely are not too big to sit on his lap

Once he convinces you he’s kissing you everywhere until you giggle cause he hates seeing his baby upset :(

Noya

I’m so sorry but at first he doesn’t even comprehend it’s an insecurity you have and thinks you’re nervous about it because of his size

“Wow, never heard ‘tiny but mighty’ babe?”

Like noya baby pls, this ain’t about you 😭

Is quite literally begging you to sit on his lap at home until you get frustrated and tell him you’re worried you’ll “crush” him because of your size - not his

He’d be kind of caught off guard at first but within seconds he’s reassuring you that’s not something you need to be worried about at all, not with him

Very similar to Yamaguchi he’s gonna convince you to give in and then absolutely smother you with affection afterwards

He’s now made it his goal to change your mindset about your size and add some more positive connotation - baby boy loves you :(

Tsuki

Will not take no for an answer either 😭

AT FIRST HE TAKES IT PERSONAL NGL

LIke he’s sitting there looking at you thinking you’re commenting on his body type like “what, you think I’m built like a string bean so I can’t handle you sitting on my lap 😐.”

AGAIN, this isn’t about you babes

So once you explain to him that no, it’s not about him it’s about you, he just:

“That’s stupid.” LIKE he’s very upset that you feel that way and doesn’t know how to express to you that you aren’t gonna crush him so the only way he knows how to tell you that is that you’re stupid for thinking that way 😭

He’d try to be physically reassuring afterward though

Kissing your forehead and telling you how it makes him sad you think that way, and why don’t you just sit on his lap so he can prove that’s not the case

You’re upset and uncomfortable at first, not really being able to relax, but after some lovin from tsuki and distraction you relax into him and bit and get comfy

He definitely makes it a regular thing so you can feel more comfortable with him :(

Yamaguchi

One of the most reassuring for sure!

The moment he felt your unease or a hint of apprehensiveness at the idea of sitting on his lap he’s investigating

Holding your face in his hands and asking you what’s wrong like 🥺

When you tell him you’re insecure about being too heavy to sit on his lap he’s definitely heartbroken, but knows this isn’t about him

So he’s quickly leaving really light kisses on your cheeks and hands promising you that’s not the case whatsoever all while he’s slowly coaxing you onto his lap

Once he’s gotten you to actually do it he’s all smiley and blushing - he’s smiling so big you can actually feel it when he’s kissing you

“Mmmmm, wanna nap?”

Just overall very affirming and attentive to your feelings :(

Kageyama

If you acted any bit shy or insecure about sitting on his lap he’d be ~so so confused

He’d be home from a long day of practice and flop down on the couch and all he wants is to be smothered by his baby 😭

He’s grumpy and just kind of grunts when you sit down next to him to talk about your day and ask about his and he just kinda reaches out to you and starts grabbing at your hips and you’re like 😳 uh yes?

You wouldn’t be budging and he’d get this pout and be all “sit on my lap 😡 I wanna cuddle”

Him asking for affection so bold like this isn’t always common for him so you don’t wanna say no BUT you’re also insecure about being too heavy so you just kinda pull him towards you and shake your head

“Why don’t you lay on me instead? I’ll play with your hair hmm?”

He’d just kind of look at you like ..... but I want you to lay on me and I can play with your hair

LMAO AND NOW YALL ARE JUST LOOKING AND KIND OF GENTLY TUGGING AT EACH OTHER LIKE 😕

But unsurprisingly the 6’2 beefy professional volleyball player is stronger than you so he just stands up and PICKS you up instead and then carries you to the bedroom where he flops down with you laying on him

At first you’re kind of frustrated and insecure cause you didn’t tell him why you were avoiding it cause you didn’t want to bring it up but then you hear Kageyama sigh and start rubbing your back from his spot underneath you and you soon realize this mf just passed out

Surely if he’s ok with you LAYING on him maybe sitting on his lap next time won’t be so awful

Hinata

Another confused baby but actually realizes somethings wrong 😭

Y’all are having a simple movie night with some pals all cuddled up on the couch and he notices there’s not too much room there, unless you sit on his lap of course, which he obviously likes the idea of

The movies playing so he tugs on your shirt a little to get your attention and whispers to you about sitting on his lap

But instead of happily hopping on like he imagined, you look away and shake your head, mumbling something about paying attention to the movie

There’s people over so he knows now isn’t the right time to pry, but he can also tell when you’re even the tiniest bit upset so he’s not gonna forget to mention something to you later tonight

You two would be getting into bed that night when he’d bring it up

“Hey, did something happen today?”

You’d tell him no but unfortunately for you he doesn’t stop asking different kinds of questions until he gets you to talk about it

When you mention that you’re insecure about being too heavy for those kinds of affection he would get so so sad, like looking at you like this ☹️ nearly tearing up

Cause he just sees it as him not doing his job as your s/o to make you comfortable and happy with him - even if that’s not actually the case

He won’t stop asking always for you to cuddle him like that but he won’t pester if you say no - you will see him get a lil pouty though

——————

I hope you guys enjoyed!!

requests are open ( I miss hq pls feel free to send some in :((()

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91

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mattmaesonnatural · 3 years

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VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE.

but its all spoilers SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

LITERALLY CLOSE THIS TAB IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED.

WARNING*******

very symbrock POV !!!! (everything is from memory I just got home to write this all down)

- LITERALLY right off the bat, Eddie is walking into the police precinct with detective mulligan. Mulligan says something mean about Eddie and Venom goes to bite his head off. Eddie pulls physically on Venoms tendrils and they fall into the women's bathroom and Eddie locks them in a stall. They start fighting and pushing each other. then arguing. Mulligan is right outside the door. listening. AND there's a women in the next stall. she looks under the panel to see only one set of feet and is very confused by two deep voices pushing each other around in the stall next to her. (VERY SUBTEXT STILL YELLING ABOUT THIS)

- Venom fixing Eddies hair when they go to meet Anne

- Anne knowing that Venom was still with Eddie even though Eddie lied to her face. (Anne: Venom take good care of him) [I think she said this twice in the film]

- Eddie crying (upset about Anne's engagement) Venom is sorry he can't fix a broken heart. Cue Venom being like "its okay we'll take care of you." then fast forward to the next morning (fanfiction gap) and Venom is making Eddie breakfast.

- Venom and Eddie physically fighting about Eddie (wanting peace) and Venom (wanting to be his own person)

- Venom throwing Eddie's stuff out of the windows of the apartment (V: EDDIE YOU NEED TO GO Eddie: THIS IS MY HOUSE)

- Venom leaving and Eddie looking sad before fixing up the trashed apartment.

-Venom entering the rave says "Oh my kind of people" then "Finally free of the Eddie Brock closet"

- Venom at a rave and going up on stage to say Eddie sucks and the crowd cheering (makes a big speech about how everyone should be allowed to live authentically). (follow up right after Venom leaves the stage he slums off to the side and sits down and says defeated and sad "Eddie i wish you could see me now")

- Eddie calling Anne to help him get Venom back (Eddie's getting questioned by the police)

- Venom finds Mrs. Chen and is upset and weak, Mrs. chen holds his "body"

- Anne goes (with Dan) to find Mrs. Chen, only to start talking to Mrs. Chen and realize she is Venom. Anne then flirts with Venom to get him to go with them. (Dan is all IM RIGHT HERE!!!) its cute ngl Venom loves attention.

- Venom taking over Annes body, gets Eddie out of the questioning room. Venom lets anne have her body back, but doesn't leave. Eddie being like "come on!! the symbiote in Cletus is gonna kill everyone " and Anne has to speak on Venoms behalf, that he wants an apology and venom wants to make him BEG (Yes venom says that) Eddie starts apologizing half assed, then gets more sincere about and Venom literally hums and then says okay. and flings Anne at him and they hug so Venom can reattach himself to eddie, and i think ? venom says "kiss her" and anne is like "oh nooo get off me" but like in a Venom please dont do this im literally engaged and I know I just flirted with you but PLEASE go back to Eddie. Then she says "I am never doing that again! Okay maybe not never. The power feels great." then Venom slapping Dan in the car and Eddie being like "GOTTA GO" and then Dan being like "geez they need couples counseling"

- Eddie and Venom back together, fight with Carnage. IN A FUCKING CHAPEL. AT A WEDDING MIND YOU. Carnage calls Venom, Father. (CANON SYMBROCK DADS)

- Venom cries as he's being defeated. Hes so weak. Eddie says "Hey Cletus and Carnage arent in symbiosis. They arent a perfect match. Guess who is a perfect match. WE are." and that gives Venom the strength to fight.

- They beat Carnage and Cletus. Venom eating Carnage and then Venom biting Cletus head off.

- police start to show up and they all scramble to get out of there. Anne and Dan leaving and Anne saying "Venom take care of him" and Eddie going "take care Annie" and Annie looking at him and LITERALLY SAYING "yeah you to champ" (LOVE HER) and then Anne goes back over to Dan and Venom comes out and says "TAKE CARE DAN" (cause dan was kinda badass in the film for the amount he was in it)

- Venoms whole thing is that he wants to feel his toes in the sand and wind in his hair. Eddie literally takes them to an island, they are sitting on a beach, Eddie holding his knees and Venom has turned eddies feet black into his own. Venoms head pops up and starts talking about life and then says something something about the people you love and continues on and eddie like pauses and its like "wait wait wait. go back. YOU LOVE ME?" and Vemon kinda dances around it again and they both just sit there staring at a sunset on a beach.

my brain WENT STATIC ERROR 404 with that scene. I wish I could remember what venom or Eddie said exactly. i heard Love and then eddie say "WAIT YOU LOVE ME?" and i blacked out

also the end credit scene FUCKING SHOOK ME TO THE CORE. Im STILL NOT PROCESSING.

Even for a 97 minute feature it was SO well paced. The story flowed well and had some funny bits too. Woody Harrelson was amazing and so was Naomie Harris.

but big SHOUT OUT TO TOM FUCKING HARDY FOR HIS WRITING CREDIT AND FEEDING ME WELL. ANDY SERKIS NAILED IT IM SCREECHING LOVE THIS FILM. ITS A LOVESTORY.

#venom spoilers #venom 2 #symbrock #venom let there be carnage spoilers #this is mostly for my own amusement

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aizawasthot · 4 years

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just the way you are | kaminari d. & shinsou h.

warnings: body insecurity + insecurities in general

i’m sorry this took too long🥺🥺🥺 this has been sitting in my drafts for two months bc i feel like it’s so bad ): but here’s a soft hc for @cutekindacrazy’s req <3

kaminari

you were always so bubbly around everyone, and that was one of the main reasons why denki liked you

you matched his energy and he absolutely loves the fact that you’re always making everyone’s day brighter by just being there

you were high school sweethearts, and he’s so in love with you even after all these years

but once he started his pro career, he’s been very busy and so of course, you happen to feel a little unnoticed

he was getting brand promotion after another, so of course he’d have to model, and rarely does he model alone

he was always with other female models who look gorgeous and beautiful. he was surrounded by people his own league- they looked like gods and goddesses

who wouldn’t feel insecure when every other week he sees those beautiful people

you start worrying about how kaminari might compare you towards those men and women

he’d think you’re a little... average, right?

NO MAAM NO HE WOULDNT

he noticed that every time you’d see his ads online/on television/on a billboard, you’d kinda avert your eyes and have this sad look

he got it the wrong way. he thought you felt embarrased about being with him

so one day he asks you

and when he found out the reason he’d be like... bitch what

he’d make u feel so loved 😌🥰

reminds u that you’re the only one for him <3

“hey babe, i- i have a question,” kaminari speaks up from beside you. you were watching a new tv show you both started to binge.

“shoot,” you said, giving him a soft smile.

he looked nervous, which made you nervous. “are you embarrassed to be with me?”

“wh- what? why would you ask that kami?” you ask the boy, eyes softening as you lunge at him in a bone crushing hug.

“well, because i noticed that every time you see an ad or a poster or a billboard of me you...” he looks like a lost puppy, pouting.

your eyes widen at what he said. “kami- no, that’s not the reason,” you pull yourself back for a second, sighing.

“then what’s up y/n? talk to me,” he said, still with the puppy eyes. he pulls you on his lap, staring at you.

you felt guilty for making him feel bad. “it’s just that you know, you model with these beautiful people, and uhm, you know-”

kaminari shakes his head, “no i absolutely don’t know babe, tell me what’s wrong” 🥺😩

“don’t you feel like you’re dating someone who’s a little average? maybe even below average?” you muttered, looking away. “i thought you’d be embarrassed to be seen with me.”

kaminari had never heard such bs from someone before.

“y/n- babe, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, what the heck?” he looks at you in confusion. “i would never feel that way. i love you and that would never change. you know that, right?” (hng pls i want a kaminari)

“i- i mean yeah, but it’s just... they’re all beautiful and perfect and-“

“no, YOU are.” (he’s making the 😠 face at u rn) “i don’t care what they look like, i only care about you. i’m dating you AND i’m marrying you-”

“you’re marrying me?” you stare at him.

“i mean y-yeah... but not now, i mean i know we’re both focused on other things and— okay what i’m saying is, i’ll marry you someday.” he was a stuttering mess, but he made you feel so much better.

you giggle at him, grabbing his face with both of your hands. “and i’ll say yes to you someday,” you gave him a smile before kissing him softly.

“i love you, okay? you’re beautiful and perfect in my eyes, so you don’t need to worry about those models. you’re the only one for me.”

to make you feel better, you guys cuddled with his arms wrapped a little tight around you. but you didn’t mind because he made you feel so loved.

UGH I LOVE HIM <3

shinsou

you met shinsou at the cafe you work at

he’s always there right before his morning class, and soon you get to memorize what his order is

shinsou always gets a caramel latte with an extra shot of espresso (ngl this is my go-to order so :>) and he gets a croissant too!!

he’s always nice and friendly to the staff, even if they mess up (ugh we love a considerate king)

shinsou is more of the quiet type so you had to make the first move 😳 and the rest is history😌

anyway when you staryed dating he’s a little on the lowkey side of things

he doesn’t really do very fancy stuff and all that but you still love him <3

shinsou isn’t very verbal either, he’s more subtle on the affection that he shows you

but when you got hit on by a random guy during a party and he didn’t get mad and had nothing to say, you went into overthinking mode

you wondered if he didn’t care enough to react or comment on what happened

which led to you thinking that he probably knows that he can get any girl when you break up

which then led to you feeling very insecure when you get home

you dwelled for almost a week, overthinking things that made you feel insecure

you felt like you were being irrational, but you can help it

what if he actually doesn’t care that much?

you were significantly less energetic and a lot more quiet for most of that week

it took him a while to notice, but when he was absolutely sure that something was wrong, he asked if you could talk

when he finds out he’d be very reassuring 🥺 would tell u how much he loves u

ahsjsk just very soft shinsou <333

“is everything okay, kitten?” he asked, gesturing for you to sit down beside him on the couch.

“yes bub, everything’s okay,” you gave him a fake smile. you didn’t want to tell him what got you so worried, afraid that he’d think you’re too irrational.

but jokes on you, shinsou saw through your facade and was pressed on finding out what’s wrong.

“no it’s not,” he pouted, grabbing your waist to sit you down on his lap. “come on kitten, tell me what’s wrong.”

you stopped for a moment, unsure on how to explain yourself to him.

“baby,” he said, cupping your face in his hands as he looked into your eyes.

“it’s not a big deal, but last week when that guy was trying to flirt with me and you didn’t say anything, i felt like you didn’t really care,” you caved in, avoiding his eyes. your eyes start to water; you didn’t want to be that type of person, but you felt too overwhelmed with emotions.

he felt a pang in his heart when he heard your quicering voice. “first of all kitten, it is a big deal when what i did made you upset, and second, of course i cared about what happened,” he murmured as he pulled you against his chest, embracing you tightly.

“it’s just that, you know, i thought you didn’t care enough about me to react to what happened...” you trailed off, burying your head into his chest, a few loose tears falling.

“kitten,” he sighed softly against the top of your head. “i didn’t react because i trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t leave me just like that— i mean you’d never leave me like that, would you?”

“o-of course not! i love you too much,” you cried out, looking up at him. “i would never leave you for someone else.”

“i wouldn’t leave you either, kitten,” he said, giving you a small peck on the forehead. “but really, i didn’t say anything about it because i trust you. i trust you with my whole heart. i didn’t mean for you to be upset, i just didn’t want you to feel suffocated in our relationship.”

you nodded slightly, understanding his position.

“and i mean, could i blame them? my baby is gorgeous as hell, so i’m not surprised that they’d wanna try to take you away,” he chuckled. “but again, i trust you, so i know you’re always gonna be my kitten.”

giggling at his words, you wrapped your arms around him, feeling a lot better. it warmed your heart to know that he put that much trust in you. you felt guilty for not trusting him.

“i’m sorry. i feel silly for thinking that,” you pouted, giving him a peck on his soft lips.

“don’t ever apologize for telling me what you feel, kitten. i don’t want you to keep things from me, okay?”

“okay bub. i love you,” you said, giving him a kiss.

“i love you, too, kitten.”

after that, he would always reassure you that he loves you and cares about you 🥺

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katie-writes24 · 4 years

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Cursed Blessings

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x reader

Warnings: MAJOR MENTIONS/BRIEF SCENE OF RAPE! Language, angst, alcohol, suggestive material, and this is just really sad.

Chpt. 2

Okay, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS! I don’t think the scene is graphic, however it’s there. If you feel that I should put a stronger warning, please don’t be afraid to dm me.

So, my first ficlet, where do I begin? This story was supposed to be a cute little scene with Thomas and an ex lover but omg, I went so off track but I hope yall like it. I did lots of scheming with this fic and @tinywhim I cannot thank you enough for all the help! Brainstorming with you gives me so much more motivation to actually finish writing stories ngl. But yeah, please be wary. Next part will be much lighter I promise. Let me know if you want to be tagged, I’m tagging my original tjeff taglist. Feedback is always appreciated! And....hope you guys continue this story with me! Enjoy!

Y/N didn’t believe in soulmates, even if she was surrounded by so many people who seemed to be destined to each other. Her parents were married for 27 years, never once betrayed each other, they even died together. Even though her mother would call them soulmates, she didn’t believe it, she just thought they were two people who found an undeniable love.

It was this phrase that was tossed around so much that it was starting to seem like a far off fantasy.

That changed when she met Thomas.

He was brilliant, charming, he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. He had little quirks about him that she knew was just for her to see. Y/N liked when he would tell a story and he would get this fond look in his eye, and start scrunching up his nose the faster he talked. To her it was adorable, to him it was stupid.

Thomas made her feel safe, she’s never felt like that before.

They met at an art exhibit, and the two spent the whole night talking about different pieces and ended up going to a small diner, looking ridiculously overdressed. She could see her mother gush about how romantic it was, how she could picture the wedding now.

Y/N still didn’t believe in soulmates, but she did start to imagine a future with the man.

Two years in, they were finally thinking about moving in together. Thomas found a nice place in Charlottesville, not too far from his family’s estate. It felt like a perfect dream. They were going to close on it at the end of summer.

It was all perfect timing. The Jefferson's always threw a big charity event in July, the house would be filled with hundreds of snobby, rich attendees. Trying to fill in a conversation with any of them bored her to death, but Y/N couldn’t complain because while they had no genuine personality, they did have money. The event usually does really well each year, and this year was no different.

Y/N spent that whole weekend at the Jefferson's estate, helping set up decorations and enjoying her time with him and his father. Ever since Thomas’s mother passed, Peter hasn’t been as social with outsiders.

And even though she had heard some stories from the past that gave her dreaded chills, the man seemed to mean well. Thomas had told her that it was all in the past, and that he still cares for his father, so she shouldn’t hold it against him if Thomas wasn’t.

The night after the fundraiser she learned more about Peter Jefferson. He liked to golf, he enjoyed telling awful jokes, and he liked to drink.

He drank a lot that night.

Y/N was in the study, reading the final chapter of her book on the couch. Thomas had gone out with James for the night, seeing that he would be leaving to go up to New York till the end of summer. It was peaceful; she was wrapped in a large blanket, feet on the table with a mug of coffee and a good book.

The characters were clashing, it was something she hadn’t expected. She leaned forward and focused more on the words, not noticing the door open and shut quietly behind her. She only lifted her head when she felt cold fingertips run up her backside.

Y/N turned around quickly, noticing Peter barely standing on his own.

“Peter, are you alright? You don’t look too good.” His eyes were foggy, there was a stain across his shirt and he hiccupped to himself as he laughed.

“Well, I think...you do, darling.”

“Do what?”

“You look..good, very-very good if I might add.” He staggered into the seat next to her and immediately put his hand on her thigh.

“What are you doing?!” She pushed his hand off and he chuckled again.

“You know, Thomas...my son he sure did pick out...a beautiful lady. And, heh, at least he did something right, he did something good in his life. But that boy, he still doesn't have the mindset yet...he doesn’t see that-” Peter drifted off as he looked like he was about to vomit all over himself.

It was an opportunity, it was the perfect time to leave.

“He’s so blinded by your wit that he doesn’t see that you’re taking as you please, and maybe not even to him alone, right huh?” He grabbed Y/N’s calf as he tucked himself into her neck.

“He doesn’t see the way you dress, the way you look, how you’re just asking for it! Is he not giving you enough attention, darling?”

His hands felt slimy and unfamiliar, and they were certainly unwanted.

But what was Y/N to do? She could’ve easily ran out the room. The man was drunk, she could’ve easily shoved him, hit him hard enough, and he would probably stumble and she could get out. She could call Thomas-

Thomas.

Thomas kept her safe, Thomas promised her that she was his and nobody else’s. Thomas left the house, Thomas brought her into an abuser’s house.

Thomas was going to be so upset.

And she could avoid this, Y/N could put an end to this hand running up her shorts.

But she was numb, she was lost. All she could see was Thomas, all she could think was Thomas. But that certainly wasn’t Thomas’s hands, not his soothing touch, not his caring praise. It was Peter’s, and it was disgusting. But if she ended this, what would he say to Thomas?

By the time she could feel her feet, it was already over.

Y/N sat up to her pants on the floor along with a spilled coffee and puke smears on the rug. Her bones were cold, but that blanket had a white stain that made her uncomfortable. She looked and found the door closed.

As if he never even came in.

Maybe it was seconds, maybe it was hours, but when she finally sat up her whole body weight caved in on her.

She had to clean up the mess, she needed to get rid of the evidence.

She had to clean herself, she felt like this wasn’t her body. She was violated, she was abused, she was used.

Y/N took the longest shower of her life, whether it be from her crying or trying to disinfect the feeling of hands crossing her torso.

She went to bed alone, and surprisingly, sleep caught her quick. When she woke up, she was still alone. No Thomas, no Peter.

Her emotions ran over her again and she sobbed gently into her pillow. She was too afraid to leave the bed, too afraid to go downstairs and see what broke her, is breaking her. It was too much.

When her tears finally ran dry, there was a knock on the door. Immediately, she pulled her knees up to her chest and felt her heart jump. She stopped breathing until she heard her boyfriend’s voice.

As he walked in, he had bloodshot eyes, wearing the same clothes as the night before.

“Sorry I didn’t come back home. I drank a little too much, crashed at James’s place.”

I drank a little too much.

“It’s okay,” Her voice cracked and she hoped he didn’t notice it. Y/N couldn’t bear with his overwhelming care right now, she wasn’t ready for questions.

“Hey, so, turns out I do have to go in tomorrow, and early at that. So, what do you say getting a head start on the drive back?” Raising a brow, Thomas had a soft look on his face. He looked so different all of a sudden.

“I would like that.” Y/N put on her best smile.

But she couldn’t hold it forever, she would eventually give herself away, and of course after being together for a couple of years, Thomas would know a difference. The lack of hugs, the uncharacteristic quiet, working, what she claimed, “overtime.”

They were signs.

The next few weeks, he made an effort to do better, try harder. Thomas booked reservations at the most expensive restaurants, he surprised her at work on Wednesday’s, he made sure to leave the office on time so he could cook dinner for Y/N, always asking how her day was.

He said those three words at every chance he got because he needed her to know, he needed her to understand that whatever was happening, whoever she was seeing, they wouldn’t love her like him.

It wasn’t enough.

“Is there someone else?”

Y/N turned to look at him, luggage in hand. She’s never seen him so broken, so lost. He had stopped crying, clinging to himself as if to hold him close to the ground. Those eyes, those deep brown eyes that she fell in love with...they were too similar.

It was like she was back on that couch, seeing those drunken orbs that ruined her forever.

Apparently, her silence was his answer. Thomas nodded his head sadly and walked back towards the bedroom, leaving Y/N stuck to the doorstep.

~~~

“It could turn out to be a blessing.”

Her jaw was shut tight, hand over her mouth, restricting even the tiniest sob from letting loose.

“No matter what happens, we’ll help you out….”

This town wouldn’t let her live peacefully if she dared approach one of those buildings.

“Have you at least called the father?”

Peter gave her a check and a note two days ago.

“Why don’t you just come up here? We can figure this out together.”

Her phone dinged, and there was a ticket to New York staring at her.

“Whatever you need, whatever you decide, we’ll support you, Y/N.”

She was gonna need it.

Jefferson Taglist: @notebookgirl30 @dontblinkumightmiss @checkurwindow @einfachniemand @astralaffairs @daveeddiggsit @ramp-it-up @ohsoverykeri-blog @i-know-i-can

#thomas jefferson x reader #thomas jefferson imagine #thomas jefferson x oc #thomas jefferson #hamilton fic #hamilton imagine #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #my writings #cursed blessings #i finally made a story tag #this story is a giant cry #dont hate me #thomas jefferson fanfic

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billyspotato · 4 years

Note

also one where race comforts u about something (anything rlly) and j makes u feel better even if hes weird abt emotions.

A/N: Hope you like it.

Sad - Rafe Cameron

Words: 1.607 words

Type: Fluff

Warnings: English is not my first language, so sorry if I misspell anything. Kinda depressed reader. (GenderNeutral!Reader)

A/N: Gif’s not mine :)

You’ve been really stressed about school lately. All of your teachers, except for one, for no reason at all decided to schedule all of your tests in a space of two weeks. And unlike other people, you don’t work that well under pressure, or at least not extreme pressure. Which means that school is all that you’ve been thinking about lately.

Because of school, you couldn’t really hang out with your boyfriend, Rafe. But he understands, even after dropping out of college.

Now today, you’re way more upset and demotivated, and that’s because you just got the results of your first test, and let’s just say it didn’t even go that well.

You texted Rafe onde you received the email with the results and he took a while to answer, not really knowing what to say.

Once he texted back, he just asked if you wanted him to come over. You, not even hesitating, said yes.

It didn’t even take 10 minutes for Rafe to ring your doorbell, and you, while hugging your fluffy blanket, walked out of your bedroom while looking at the floor.

Once you pulled your door open, your eyes land on Rafe’s, making him lose his smile, and frown at the sight, probably from your swollen eyes. He took a step closer to you and open your door wide so he can come in completely.

While your eyes stay on Rafe, he steps closer and closer to you making your mental barrier (to not have a mental break down right in front of someone), slowly crumble. Your chin starts to slightly shake as your lips turn into a pout, making Rafe close the front door without taking his eyes out of you.

His hands cup your face, cooling down your warm cheeks, and a sob escapes your closed mouth making a tear slowly roll down your eye and land on his skin.

You move your face out of his hands and collide into his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso and letting your blanket fall into the floor. You sob into Rafe’s black polo shirt and his hands slowly lay your shoulders before giving them a small squeeze.

The only thing that can be heard through your parents’ house is your sobs echoing through the white walls of the hallway that held various expensive pieces of art.

“I don’t know what I did wrong” You whisper into his shirt before letting out another sob.

His hand moves lower to your back and the other one over to the back of your head, holding you but not giving you an answer.

Rafe lets you cry into his chest as his hands moved slowly, as his way to show you comfort and that he’s there for you, but his face held a serious expression, a thoughtful one, even.

Rafe doesn’t know what to do. Before dating you, he never had to look for comfort in anyone or, even, comfort someone. The first time he broke down in front of you, you knew exactly what to do. You hugged him close to your chest and told him many times that things will get better and you won’t leave him if they don’t. He was in shock when you did it but welcomed your soft and sweet touch as he did what you told him to, let it all out.

Now, he doesn’t know what to do. People say actions speak louder than words, but he feels like hugging you is a very cheap action. It probably doesn’t even feel as comforting as when you did it to him.

Your voice plays in his mind as he gets too deep in thought: ‘You’re overthinking’ and he forces his way out of that trance.

“Let’s go to your room” He whispers into the top of your head.

You nod into his chest and quickly grab your blanket from the floor when pulling away. Once you two start walking, you grab Rafe’s hand and lay your head on his arm as he practically led you to your room.

Your eyes catch the sight of your bed and you let him go before walking and laying down on it.

Your urge to cry is way smaller than it was before but all you could think about was still that stupid test and its result.

Rafe lays down next to you and you quickly move closer to him.

“Do you want to watch any shows… Or maybe a movie?” Rafe asks in a whisper as you lay your head on his shoulder.

You shrug, completely silent, making him almost tense up. Did he just fuck up? Was he not supposed to ask that? What if you think that he doesn’t care about you being sad?

He stops his body from tensing up to prevent you from sensing it and turns on your TV. He quickly clicks on Netflix and searches for your favorite animated/Disney movie. And once he finds it, he quickly plays it as his way to show you that he cares, once more.

As the song of the entrance starts, your eyes lift from Rafe’s polo shirt to the screen, making a small smile appear on your lips. Rafe, since he can’t see your expression from his position, just continues to fill his mind with questions.

But that, thankfully, only lasted until he stopped hearing your sniffles.

He relaxes and lets out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding and lays his hand over your head, playing it your hair, but careful not to hurt you.

As one of the first songs starts, he feels you hitting your finger lightly over his chest at the rhythm, making his lips curve slightly. He then turns his head and plants a kiss on your forehead, making you take your eyes off the screen and look over at him.

Your eyes are still swollen but your expression is now softer, and you even had a small smile. He pecks your lips quickly and when he pulls away, you close your eyes and snuggle into his neck.

(…)

After the movie/your distraction ended, making your dark and deep thoughts come back, your heart sped up once more and your eyes slightly watered at the idea of all your tests coming back with the same negative grade.

Rafe cuddled you until you fell asleep and he knew that it wouldn’t take long for you to wake up once more. So, he quickly got up and grabbed his phone, unlocking it and dialing his sisters’ number.

“What do you want?” Sarah asks with an annoyed tone.

“I need your help,” He says while stepping out of the bedroom.

“What did you do now?”

“Nothing. It’s Y/N” He answers while running his fingers through his hair.

Rafe quickly explained everything to his least favorite sister and she sighed once he was done.

“Okay, Uhm…” Sarah starts, “I’ll send you a text of what might help Y/N, but- Don’t be mad if it doesn’t work, it just works on me and some girls. It might not work on Y/N”

“Okay, be quick” He answers before ending the call.

While Rafe waited for his sister’s text, he looked back inside your bedroom to take a look at your sleeping form. His phone soon vibrates, and he looks over to find the list over text from Sarah.

Rafe quickly runs down the hallway and grabs a spare key of the house before running out.

(…)

You sit up on the bed as your eyes open and don’t see your boyfriend. You quickly check the time, fearing that it was already pretty late, and you left him awake for hours until his boredom, but it’s only been half an hour.

The front door opens, and you frown while looking at the open door of your bedroom. Have your parents come back early?

Rafe quickly comes into view as he steps back in the bedroom and for an unknown reason, he is holding two grocery bags.

“You’re awake” He comments, making you smile slightly.

“I am, where were you?”

“Sarah send me a list of things that can help you feel better” He starts while walking over to the bed with the two bags, “She didn’t specify any kind of chocolate or chips or even pizza, so…” He says before turning the bags upside down, “I bought most of them, or- Well, some that I think you would like”

Various types of snacks fall onto your bed and you open your mouth in shock. He had bought various types of chocolate, chips, cookies and even cake.

“Rafe…” You say in a soft tone while looking up from your bed to him, “Are you crazy?”

Rafe looks down at the number of snacks and starts to think.

Your heart quickly squeezes at the sight of him overthinking and you sit up on your knees, cupping his face to make him look over to you.

“Is it too much?” He asks in a whisper.

“A little,” You say with a smile, “But it’s perfect”

Rafe’s expression becomes softer and you pull him to you so you can kiss him. You peck his lips various times before giving him an actual kiss, making him smile into your lips.

“Thank you for everything today. I love you” You whisper to him with a serious expression while rubbing your thumbs over his cheeks.

“I love you more,” He says before kissing you again, wrapping his arms around your hips.

You pull away to look over at your bed again, “I’ll need help with this, though”

“That won’t be hard at all”

- - - - -

This is probably one of the fluffiest things I’ve ever written, ngl...

- - - - - -

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

#rafe cameron imagines #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe fluff #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey #gender netural reader #rafe x reader #outer banks imagines #outer banks imagine #outer banks netflix #outer banks

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

Text

How Day6 would comfort you when you come home crying

warnings: some foul language

an: i was informed about how little day6 content there was (ty @justcuz-ican), so here is more these are written for people who prefer physical active comfort rather than being left alone when upset, so i may write a set of reactions for people who are the other way round

all members under the cut :)

Sungjin

he may not be used to openly discussing feelings but that does not mean he doesn’t care

he loves you so much and so dearly that seeing you cry will wreck him

i have no doubts he would drop everything for you if the time called for it

he’s a very good listener, and will remain quiet if you need to vent

he is a fixer, and so when you explain what happened, and if you want help, he will do his damn best to make it all ok again

will 100% sort it for you all by himself (if you don’t want him to, you might want to, like... stop him before he does real quick)

he’s very loyal ok so will take your side no matter what

when it comes to comfort it would depend on how long you’ve been together for

if it’s still early days (by his standards), he will try his best to offer verbal support, and then help you continue with your day to the best of both of your ability

however if you’ve been together for a long while

so long that no one, including yourselves, can see yourself with anyone else

he will be a lot more affectionate on top of the above

that’s when you know that you’ve caught his heart without a catch or caveat

will hold you close in a simple but in no way inferior embrace

and trust me, sungjin hugs are phenomenal

and so these are no different

he’s just so soft, you would be so warm and secure in his arms, sobs gradually coming to a stop as your tears dried upon his shirt

i have a lot of feels for sungjin ok

Jae

cuddles + distraction king

will send little messages of support throughout the day if you choose/are able to text him about how bad things are going

as soon as you come home he will take you into his arms

will dry your tears with his fingers as best he can

seeing you upset has the capability to make him very nearly cry too, depending on what it is and how bad (and his day too)

will take the two of you to somewhere comfortable

whether it be sofa or bed or wherever, just somewhere close and safe

he gets it, you need the security

will settle you into his lap and that’s it, that’s your home now

strokes your hair and will speak no louder than a murmur for you

if you want to talk about it, he will listen and comment where he can

lots of verbal support

won’t leave your side until you stop crying, no joke

if/when you need distracting, those movies are going on bois

or he will play a video game if you’d prefer something different

is not above deliberately being bad and making stupid commentary to make you laugh

by the end the sadness will feel like it happened in another time

jae is just that good

Younghyun

will not stop fawning over you

he’s affectionate anyway

so when he sees you upset he tries to give you as much of it as possible

back rubs, cuddles, forehead and cheek kisses, the full lot

so gentle

so good to vent to because his advice is really sound

he doesn’t want to leave your side, but will make exceptions

and so will bring you pretty much anything and everything to try and make it better

from tissues to snacks to his special hoodies you name it

once you stop crying, your treatment doesn’t stop there

nope, sorry, that’s not how kang younghyun rolls

on the day he will make you food, yes

and then he will coax you into sleep (probably spooning or with your head on his chest, he likes that)

then the next time you’re together, prepare yourself

as even if your day has been fine and all your problems are sorted, he’s taking you out to a lovely restaurant

or taking you shopping and buying the shit you saw in the shop window and didn’t buy for frankly no good reason

he wants the week to balance out at the very least

because he may not be able to fix the actual problems that made you upset, but in a way he can make it up to you

even though its 90% of the time never his fault

overall, get yourself a youngk yall

Wonpil

my babie is a sensitive soul

im not saying he’s going to weep with you when you come home after your god awful day

but will he tear up?

yes

he’s a bit of an emotion sponge i get that and seeing you hurt just rubs onto him

doesn’t know what to do really, so may flounder slightly at times

he’s used to you being quite the rock

but he’s an affection king so prepare to be smothered because he isn’t changing now

will be 100x more gentle though

if that’s possible

...yeah it’s possible

cups your cheeks so carefully as if you’re made of glass

he’ll catch your tears on the corners of his sleeves

and then will proceed to do and give you everything that makes him feel better when he’s upset

so his plushie, his blankets, his food, the lot

and then will make it a special night for you

meaning, the softest night in you could imagine

understands you the best, and will say the right thing at the right time

loyal once again, so will always take your side too

and will hold a grudge

even if the problems are sorted the very next day, if a person caused them, he will not trust them until they give him a good reason to like... ever again lol

even if you insist that they’re not as bad anymore

they’ll just be known as ‘the prick that made y/n cry’ and will get glares from him if they see him in the street

of course if they apologise and prove that they’ve improved then he’s back to being a sunshine

mostly

honestly i think wonpil could be strangely threatening if he really, really wanted to be

tho tbh i am biased bc if i disappointed him once i would cry on the spot so idk

Dowoon

sweet babe

wouldn’t quite know what to do at first

especially if it’s still early days in your relationship

not amazing at talking but will try his hardest

same applies for physical comfort

you may have to initiate if it’s the very first time if you want a hug sorry

but he will learn quickly

and will go from holding you close and secure while quietly listening to you vent

to recognising something is wrong by your text aura alone

and preparing things if he can for when you get home

would make a small pillow fort for you ngl

i then see him making small changes to his behaviour that mean big things

so yes, when your relationship is strong and stable, he will cradle you just how you like

and no kidding his back rubs are really comforting

but for the rest of the week he will be super careful

and so will take on a few more chores despite the fair distribution you have going so far

when walking together in public he will normally hold your hand, but for the few days after he will actually put an arm around you instead

and when at home he’ll definitely sit a lot closer to you

going out of his way to work in the same room or a seat closer to you despite being already set up elsewhere

small text messages throughout the day checking if everything is fine, and if any people that caused you issues have done anything else

he remembers you see

he’ll probably return to his slightly shy and normal self after but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to him

after all, i can see him growing used to moving to join you when you come home, and so that may become a common occurrence once he is sure you want that too

overall, a caring boyfriend, just in a more subtle way

~~~

an: i feel this isnt as put together as my others but i hope its still legible and worthwhile

masterlist

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

Note

I got somethin: write headcannons about Erileck. Your own, personal view. Gotta give my favorite ship some love, and also more ideas when I write you stuff 😈💜

OMFGGGGG omgomgomgomg skskksskk I’ve been stockpiling this for a few days bc I gotta think even though it’s my relationship sksksk but I hope this hits your OTP spots + helps as a future ref.

This is written in 1st person bc it’s Joker + I. I hope that doesn’t bother anyone skkssk this is gonna be so much fun I’m hyped!!! There’s no organisation to this lmao so there are jumps all over the place pfft.

Warnings for mentions of trauma, anxiety, depression, also smoking, swearing. Also NSFW bc duh xp

Word count: 3, 207 (woops?)

Questions or comments on my relationship with Joker are welcomed!! I’m sure there are things I haven’t even considered skskks and ngl I do love talking about our relationship pfft.

Joker and I… sksksk I’d be lucky.

Someone like him loving someone like me??? Ridiculous. A dream.

Someone like me loving someone like him??? Don’t be silly.

… And that’s precisely why we work so well together.

We choose to love each other each and every single day. Again and again, no matter what, we find the time to come back together at the end of a long, exhausting day.

I was with Arthur from the very beginning of the film.

I bumped into Carnival outside Kenny’s Music, and I stood to the side to watch him spin that everything must go! sign.

I’m scared of clowns but something about this clown captured and maintained my interest and so it was that once this particular rendition of Temptation Rag was over, I approached Carnival and sincerely thanked and complimented him on his performance.

Both of us blushing, both of us unsure, but neither of us can resist the almost magnetic pull which the other gives off. So I invited him to coffee and dinner (and I paid for everything, of course) and neither of us ever looked back.

I fell in love with Arthur before I even knew his name, and when I love it’s… intense and I fall hard, and I fall fast, and I can never stand back up.

I’ve been told before that I love “too intensely” and it’s “too much” for people (I was told this by my abusers so I suppose they were lying but… it’s a very open, raw wound which I battle daily), but for Arthur the way I love is just right. He needs that clinginess, that reassurance.

I’m already in tears thinking of everything I feel and everything I want to say lmao…

I turned my entire life upside down for him without a single regret, forethought or anything like that, and I never looked back sksksksk.

I stayed with him as Arthur and I did everything I could for him - bought his prescriptions, bought him food, helped him to keep the apartment clean… there were arguments because he thought I was merely looking at him as a charity case, or he was wary in case I was just after something…

But with time, patience and persistence I managed to get Arthur to be at least comfortable around me.

We fell in love together but neither of us said anything. We’re both too shy, too scared of rejection…

I don’t know how we got together, it’s just that one day I stayed overnight at Arthur’s apartment to help him take care of Penny and to take care of him, so exhausted was he…

… And I never left.

I was with him through it all and I made it known only to him that I was proud of him every time he stood up for himself. They all had it coming, anyway (I have a flexible morality lmao).

I love his jokes; he and Bill Hader are my favourite comedians (shush I know Bill wasn’t around in the 80s but work with me) and I adore it when he shares them with me.

The darker the better, imo. My favourites are the ones you laugh at because there’s no other reaction to give.

But I digress.

So. Present day.

He’s Joker and oh, if I thought I loved Arthur…

I have a very deep, very raw and passionate love for Joker. He is… he’s my entire world and I love him so much I’m tearing up while I type this. He’s so beautiful it makes me cry daily.

Every time I cry because of how beautiful he is, I go straight to Joker. He deserves to see how loved he is. Sometimes I get upset because I don’t feel satisfied with the level of love I’m showing him; it’s never enough and he deserves more.

This most often happens at night, because I get very Soft™ at night.

As such, Joker and I have a very special nightly routine.

We spend all day thinking about it but we don’t do this particular thing until nighttime, when we can put our lives away and just soak in each other’s presence.

I cry very easily. Happy, sad, angry, frustrated, upset, elated, joyful, sorrowful… any mood you can think of, I will cry if the emotion reaches a certain intensity.

It’s not unusual for me to come into the living room late at night when I’m in my pyjamas (an oversized t-shirt and a pair of undies - yes, even in winter lmao just pile on the blankets) with tears in my eyes, for whatever reason.

Every time Joker looks up to see this sight, his eyes roam over my body and he smiles, a soft “awwh” leaving his lips as he straightens his legs so I can sit down on his lap.

I sit on his lap and cup his painted face in my hands and I smother him in kisses. I start off slow and then I speed up as the love within my heart grows, and Joker always ends up holding my wrists in his hand and giggling under my touch.

It usually ends up with one or both of us crying. Joker’s so shocked and so awed that I’m still with him even now, and I just love him so much I can’t do anything else.

Joker’s lap is the best seat and it’s my favourite.

I study there, I sit there, I sleep there.

Cockwarming is also a common occurrence.

If he’s sat a certain way so I can’t sit on his lap, I’m not afraid to press down on his uppermost knee so he straightens out so I can get comfortable on him.

“Can I have my seat back, please?” or “You stole my seat” are common ways of asking for him to move for me.

He is also my clown blanket skkksksk our favourite sleeping position is for me to lay on my back and for Joker to lay atop me. He becomes everything I can feel and his head rests either on my chest or on my stomach, depending on what he wants. My hands are in his hair… and we sleep.

So, naturally, there are copious opportunities for Joker to love me awake ;) many a morning do I awaken to the sensation of fingers gripping my hips, holding me down while he worships me with his mouth.

We don’t do NSFW things .v. often, we prefer to cuddle and just be close.

Both of us are virgins and shy ones at that, lmao, so it took awhile for things to even get to that point.

We discovered we just prefer to cuddle over full out sex; less messy, for one.

Full sex is usually for the times when words aren’t enough; after an argument, or when either of us is especially sad or just needs something.

When I want to do this, I usually say, “how about you werewolf and go wild on me now?” and he howls before breaking out in laughter, which I stifle with a kiss…

If Joker wants to, one look from him and I just know. He doesn’t even have to say anything.

My answer is always yes. There’s nothing I won’t do for him and he knows it; it’s okay, though, because he’s the same way for me. We balance each other out really well.

During the rare times I’m awake before Joker is, I’ll kiss him awake; his face, his neck, chest, those adorable soft curves on his stomach…

Any and every excuse which I can think of do I use to love him.

It’s a daily goal to love him so hard that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He deserves nothing less.

I steal his red blazer… often.

If Joker can’t find it, it’s either in the wash or I’m wearing it.

As soon as he takes it off, I’ve got it cradled in my arms, holding it to my face to hide my smile. I wear it when he isn’t, I sleep in it when I miss him (even when he’s right there beside me I still miss him), and I often use it as a pillow.

“Are you sure you don’t love that blazer more than you love me?” // “No.” // Any pout he gives me is kissed away and he giggles against my lips because he got what he was after all along.

We can’t sleep without each other. Joker needs to know that he’s needed, and I need to know that my clown is there for me to keep me safe from the things which my mind tells me are in the dark.

Joker does get annoyed with me sometimes because we both know I’m scared of the dark and I have a vivid imagination, and those two things are difficult to handle on the best of days, but I also love horror films.

Slasher ones are my favourite but I also really enjoy the ones which are dark, gritty, the ones which are based more in the psychological than obvious jumpscares.

I know how Joker can get when I watch them, though, so I tend to watch them when he’s out of the apartment or when there’s nothing else to do.

He never stops me from watching them because I’m a grown ass woman, but he makes his disapproval known by by saying he won’t be comforting me that night when I get too scared to turn the lights off.

In the end, though, there isn’t much he can say because he has unhealthy coping mechanisms just as I do, so he wraps me in his arms and hides my face in his chest or in the crook of his neck. “Close your eyes so you can’t see it’s dark.”

“I love you” is said often between us.

And never just once: “I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you - “ it can and will be said multiple times.

It makes the other person giggle and get teary eyed. We’re slightly obsessed with each other and we love the way we love each other.

There are other ways we say those three words, spoken too much yet never enough:

“You got what you deserved, Joker” // “I suppose I did.”

I wear my outfit sometimes and go out in it, and on rarer occasions (I have acne so I have to be careful) I even do my face like his.

When I really make to say ‘I love you’, I’ll do both. It never fails to make him cry.

The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra is our song, as is The Carpenters songs Close to You and Yesterday Once More.

Every time those songs are on, Joker spins me into him and even though I have two left feet, he dances with me.

The slow, eerie dances he does are my favourite and I love watching him. He knows and he loves it. He always throws me a wink and it never fails to make me blush and emit such a high pitched noise that I feel compelled to pull my shirt collar up and over to cover my face entirely.

Joker always coos and plays peekaboo with me when I do this to coax me out of hiding.

Neither of us want children but we have two pure black rescue kitties whom we love dearly!

That’s Life is another favourite. I love that song and it never fails to make me smile, even when I don’t want to. I play it every day and Joker always dances with me. We prefer the instrumental version; it reminds us of the simpler times when he was still the unseen (not by me, by Gotham in general) Arthur Fleck.

Aaa, Fleck…

I proposed to him. Kinda.

Joker wanted marriage from day one but I was unsure; I despise the institution of modern marriage but one day I caught sight of a ring I liked the look of in a magazine and I took it over to Joker.

I didn’t say anything, I just held the magazine out at that page for him to take, barely able to speak was I through the depths of my emotions.

It took him ten minutes to stop laughing before he dipped a hand into his blazer and withdrew a small box.

Neither of us said yes and neither of us said no.

We just put the rings on the other and that was that.

The next day, I went and got it registered with a cackling Arthur in tow.

I can be emotionally distant at times; if I’m feeling too much, I tend to withdraw into myself rather than upset Joker by burdening him with what I’m feeling.

He hates it when I do that, though a lot of the time I’m not even aware I’m doing it, and it upsets him and then he withdraws from me.

When Joker starts to pull away from my kisses and stops accepting hugs, that’s usually my holy shit what the fuck, Erika? moment and then I do my best to apologise to him.

I’m always forgiven after it’s made clear that I hurt his feelings, and then we don’t let each other go for the rest of the night.

When I need a reminder of why I love Joker or when I just need to see him for all that he is, I watch his segment on the Murrat show (that’s not a typo - I know what I said.) and I’m sobbing in seconds.

*sigh* “Why do you do this to yourself, Erika?”

“I needed to - you were in so much pain and I - “

He pulls me to him and shushes me. I tuck my face into the warm crook of his neck and lavish him with kisses and I just hold him and hug him as hard as I can and I apologise again and again.

Joker doesn’t understand why I watch it sometimes and tbh neither do I but I do and he always comforts me even though I feel like I should be comforting him.

As I said earlier, I’m scared of the dark and I drink as much coffee as Joker smokes (I can easily reach 18 cups a day. Easy.), so night times are... interesting.

It can take up to an hour for me to sleep. Not really because of the caffeine (I’m used to it by now and I feel calmer with it than I do without it) but because I just can’t get comfortable or because I’m convinced something just moved in the corner of the room.

Even with my nightlights, I’m still scared.

It annoys Joker when he’s really tired or trying to sleep and it’s not unlike Joker to grumble “lay the fuck still” and wrap his arms around me so I feel obligated to stay still for him.

Joker never holds me so tight that I can’t move, though. I have trauma relating to body autonomy so he makes sure that I know I can move if I want to.

I prefer to sleep either on my back so I can have my clown blanket or on my side so I can face Joker. I keep my phone by my bed so when I miss Joker or need to see him at 3 AM I’ve got pics and GIFs right there, scared am I that I’ll wake up and he’s just a dream and I’m alone again, so I appreciate seeing him when I wake up in the mornings.

Sleepy morning sex

He’s also at perfect liberty to start things when I’m still sleeping, too.

I gave him an all time free pass - that is how much I trust him. It was the biggest display of trust I could think of, and I’ve never gone back on it or regretted it.

I really just want Joker to know, to know, that he’s loved and cherished. I do my best to let him know that he can be his entire self with me, that I want him to, and he does the same for me.

Fair’s fair though so I’m at liberty to start things when he’s sleeping, though I rarely do because he sleeps so little as it is because insomnia, nightmares etc.

We steal each other’s clothes a lot of the time.

I wear really baggy clothes (my shirts can pass as short dresses) so Joker fits into them easily.

Joker’s very needy and physically affectionate and clingy and even on the days when I don’t want to be touched (again, for trauma reasons), I still allow him to do with me as he pleases.

Not because I feel like I have to, but because I trust him and I know I’m safe with him. When I’m with Joker, I’m the safest woman in the world.

We only use each other’s names - Erika and Joker (Arthur for serious situations) - when attention is needed now or when it’s a deep situation which requires total candour.

Otherwise, for me it’s “my girl” (I melt every time), “my Erika”, “my Queen”, and then generics like darling, sweetheart, love, angel.

For Joker, it’s “my Joker” (he melts), “my King”, “my clown” and then generics like darling, angel, love, honey.

We do anything for each other and we always do small gestures for each other; Joker makes me a cup of coffee and I slip a cigarette between his thin lips before I light it for him. He changes the batteries in my nightlights without saying anything and I hand scrub the blood out of his clothes while it’s still fresh.

Things like that tell us, even without words, that we want it to work.

When he comes home from whatever he does as Joker (I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell), I check him all over. Any bruises, scraps, cuts...

The ‘rule’ is this:

As long as he comes back home to me without even a paper cut, then he can do what he wants as Joker, the reputation he didn’t want or ask for.

We do everything together and with each other and of course we get space from each other when it’s wanted or needed; a lot of the time we’re in the same room doing our own things.

We argue, though I’m not sure what about - but we always make it up to one another. We don’t go to bed angry, either, and we both get upset during fights so tears are shed and wiped away, apologies whispered against trembling lips.

It’s not an easy relationship and there are probably things I haven’t even thought about lmao, but we work hard and the amount of love we have for each other is so strong and so deep it’s bigger than both of us.

We choose to love each other every single day, no matter what, and that’s why we’re still together

Erileck met: 4/10/2019 // married: 26/3/2020. We skipped the engagement. We’re in love and we know it, so why wait?

#jokershyena #requests closed #erileck #this is intensely personal #im so nervous i legit feeling sick posting this

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sondpyo · 5 years

Text

𝙮𝙤𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

a/n: y’all this is literally my first writing :// sorry ig it’s shitty oop whatever I will do a x1 boyfriend line just bcs i really want a bf rn and x1 are my emotional support kpop boys 🥺 iF you have requests then please just request !!!!! 🤭 whatevs have fun reading this and stream flash 😎

warnings: ,,,,cursing

yohan

yes

he looks really intimidating ngl and his taekwondo shit doesn’t make it better

but like,,, he’s a baby ????

he also likes to be babied u cant tell me shit like hug him, kiss him, pinch his cheeKS MAKE HIM FEEL LOVED

but before

let’s go back to where it all started : )

you and yohan actually met in a coffee shop u were working at

so one day this like tall dude came in and ordered an americano with some typa cake idk honestly

and hes like sitting down

and thats when he saw YOU

he immediately went 👀

you were casually picking up some cups and plates customers have left on the tables

and like u just felt someone was looking at you you just did

so you turned around

sUPRISE

yohan was still like 👀

so you were like ???why that mf staring at me???

his brain took about 10 seconds to process that u were staring back so it went ABORT MISSION !

he turned around quickly

you furrowed ur brows and just shrugged it off like u see weird people walking in here daily

but he was kinda cute tho,,, and u don’t see cute weirdos walk in here daily

when u went back to the counter ur co worker was like bring that shit to that guy

and u were looking at THAT guy

sUPRISE 2.0 it was yohan

so you went there and gave him his things

thats when

„ so do you come here often. ????"

„sir I work here"

„oh"

so you were just like "do you need anything else?"

and he got really shy after saying that so he just answered with a no, thank u and turned around in embarrassment

and a little smile creeped up ur lips

because he was CUTE cute

but you were kinda shy too so whAT SHOULD YOU DO

so you just left

yea

he visited the shop more often

thats when you found out he actually goes to the same college as you

so u were both talking and he finally asked for ur number

this leads to date nr. 1

absolute chaos

he wanted to actually take you out in a fancy restaurant but they somehow didn’t have his name on the guest list

so y’all went outside and it actually started raining

so yall ran to his car

and just when yohan thought he literally fucked up everything

you started smiling

and he was like huh ???

so you were like

"well ur plan didn’t go that well I guess"

he scoffed and put both of his hands onto the steering wheel

he was really confused at first but then thought that you were making fun of him which u kinda were but he doesn’t have to know 🤡

but then you suddenly said "how about we buy a family pizza and go watch a movie or something“ and nudged his shoulder with your ellbow

you know he wanted the date to be perfect and that he was probably sad it didn’t go well

and that kinda touched you because he was really trying hard

after that date you unfortunately went on another and on another and on another one

and you were slowly falling for him and his charms

not only was he opening up to you a lot

showing his funny and entertaining side

he also started realizing that he didn’t have to hide his true self from you

like he wanted to tell you a dad joke? he justfucking went for it

since then he decided

that ur his wifey 😎

so y’all have been dating for 2 years now

and in those 2 years you learned a lot about yohan

boi is shy but loves skinship

cuddling in each and every second? yes

u want a kiss? lmAo here you have 100

like he just loves showering you with love

and showering with you (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

( i sincerely apologize )

ne wa ys

he really likes holding your hand

and he has that habit of playing with ur fingers when he’s nervous

at first you weren’t like used to so much skinship

but over the years it just kinda grew on you and you were just like meh

and he loves teasing you about your height and everything

he just has to put things onto the highest shelf just so he can watch you struggle

he also loves saying things to you infront of his friend just to make you blush and watch you hide in embarrassment

well,,,, his friends

your biggest enemy is hyeongjun

one of yohan‘s best friends

it’s just an ongoing fight between you two about his attention

„listen her u poodle ass looking rat, yohan is MY boyfriend"

„who are you calling poodle ass rat you look like a recycled tana mongeau"

and ur both like 😡😡😡

so yohan is usually like don’t fight,,,,enough yohan for everyone 😎

and you‘re literally like you can keep him hyeongjun

((you and hyeongjun are actually really good friends don’t worry))

soooo

yohan also loves to give neck kisses

if your neck is in sight

hes like mwah 👄

and you act like you don’t like thEm

but we all know you do

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

the only thing is that whenever your hanging out with his friend group and he does that

everyone goes like we haAVE MINORS IN HERE

because strangely one of his friends is a 14 year old tall ass bitch that’s still going through puberty ((dohyon why u so tALL))

but friendship has no age I guess ???

he always goes to his hyungs for advice tho because what kinda advice will he get from some kids going through puberty

eunsang in the back: 😤

and seungwoo always helps him with his situations

while seungyoun just says stuff like smaSh Her !

yes seungyoun sweetie ur doing amazing

you both fighted once

where u realized that he actually looks really intimidating like you were genuinely scared of him for a second

and you‘re both kinda hot headed

so it turned out with him taking his jacket and leaving your apartment

yes,,,, a mess

you dIDNT talk to each other for two days until you phone dinged

and you were like !!!

but

hyeongjun🤥: why y’all ain’t talking

and you told him and he’s like you should just go to him like this bitch is dumb we been knew and for the first time ever you bonded with hyeongjun

so you pressed the button of his doorbell

and yohan opened the door looking all sad

he expected his food to be here

but then he saw you and he just hugged you like honestly ???? he missed you :(

so fighting with him usually lays down after 1-3 days

depends

okay but

yohan is a really good listener

like hes a jokster and everything

but when you‘re sad or upset and need to talk to someone he’s always there for you

it doesn’t matter if it‘s about a test you failed or even about the girl in your class that always gives you deadly looks

like when ur sad he usually just caresses your head/hair

and he tries make you laugh again

because he hates seeing you like that,,,you‘re his baby >:( he doesn’t want you to be sad

he eventually also buys food because he just knows that food calms you down the most

so when ur happier shoving down food ur throat than u were in his arms hes like :[ (y’all know that face)

whatevs

you and yohan have a healthy relationship

and you appreciate it a lot

because he isn’t only your boyfriend but also your best friends

so that mEanS pyjAMA PARTIES HELL YE

usually you both just chill on the coach with your pjs on and you put a face mask onto his face

„this thing burns"

„don’t be a pussy"

„you‘re literally putting acid on my face and you‘re telling me I shouldn’t be a pussy“

u usually watch Netflix after

well only you

becAUSE your beloved boyfriend is always trying to get your attention with either whining or kissing you

and sometimes he just succeeds

like the few pecks turn into making oUt

and the making oUt leads to

we all know what

the netflix movie is forgotten by now sorry sweetie

since sometimes both of you are too lazy to go to ur bed bcs ur busy duH? u fall asleep on the couch so often you both wake up in the next morning by either you or yohan falling off it eventually

i don’t make the rules, gravity does

we should come to an end

yohan is a really protective boyfriend

and he would use his taekwondo skills on anyone and everyone that comes near you

well

only when he senses danger and shit bcs he can’t just double turn fly kick hangyul away just bcs he wanted to greet you with a hug

but yes: very protective

loves you

he really does

he doesn’t care about any girl walking past him except junho but that’s another story // like his eyes are always on you and you only + junho 👀

people envy your relationship a lot

mostly girls watching him taking care of you so well

becAUSE he does care about you a lot

so be dAmn grateful

becAUSE yohan is a once in a lifetime man

and he eventually even hopes to marry you one day

so 🥺🥺🥺🥺

#x1 #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #x1 au #x1 yohan #x1 imagine #x1 seungyoun #x1 seungwoo #x1 eunsang #x1 fluff #x1 hyeongjun

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sign-from-god-complex · 6 years

Text

A Gift From Me To You - Chapter 3

Chapter Summary: Patton reminisces, reflects, and helps Virgil work some things out.

Warnings: A continuation of Virgil’s panic attack from the last chapter and some negative thinking. (If there’s anything else let me know!)

A/N: I think I’m pretty happy with this chapter overall! Ngl, a tiny bit worried about keeping up the schedule of posting every two weeks considering that I only have one more chapter pre-written so far--I'm working on chapter 5 atm--but hopefully I'll manage to get some stuff done in the next couple weeks now that I'm a lil less busy.

But anyway, I hope y’all like it!!!

AO3 Link // Link to Chapter One! // And Two!

————————————————

Patton’s first class had gone by like a breeze. Truthfully, he felt like he was walking on air. He knows he told Roman that nothing had changed, but really, it was hard not to be a little bit excited when you find out the boy you love is as perfect for you as you’d always thought.

Of course, his excitement also came with a few points of sadness as well.

When you don’t have a soulmark, society doesn’t see any of your relationships as more important than any other. Everything had equal potential. A friend had the potential to become your best friend or a partner. A partner had the potential to become someone you hated or someone you’d spend the rest of your life with. It was a grab bag; nothing was guaranteed.

When you had a soulmate, that person was always going to be the most important person to you in society’s eyes. It didn’t matter if you had a partner you loved with all your heart, your soulmate was more important than them. It didn’t matter if you had someone else you wanted to ask to be your boyfriend too, your soulmate was more important than them. Your soulmate was always going to be more important than them.

Patton hated that line of thinking.

There wasn’t some weird cap on the amount of love you can give out to people—if Patton’s parents had taught him one thing, it was that. Patton was perfectly capable of loving someone else just as much as he loved Ro, and as a matter of fact, he did. He was just afraid he’d missed his window.

Logan had weird beliefs about soulmates. Despite Patton’s insistence that they’re just another form of relationship, no different than a regular friendship or boyfriend—except maybe a bit closer—Logan refused to agree. He remained adamant that soulmates were somehow more special and resulted in an infinitely closer bond that none of the three of them could ever understand.

It bothered Patton because he always looked so bitter as he said it. Logan wasn’t a romantic, in fact, he’d expressly stated on more than one occasion that he was glad he didn’t have a soulmate. It was something him and Roman had argued about several times before, slightly more angrily than their regular arguments since it seemed to be a sore spot for both of them.

Patton wished he knew why soulmarks upset Logan so much, but he refused to talk about it. Every time Patton asked Logan just mumbled something about abandonment or hypocrites, before changing the subject.

Logan would definitely see his and Roman’s relationship as more “special” or “important” than either of their relationships with him and this worried Patton a lot. Barring any other feelings Patton may have for Logan, he didn’t want to lose their friendship because Logan thought Patton cared about him less than he cared about Ro, or something equally as silly.

He’d managed to convince Roman to hold off saying anything to Logan until they were both there, but they knew they had to talk to him about it today, or else Logan may find out through someone other than them. They didn’t want to risk him feeling like they didn’t trust him or something.

A lot of their evening had been spent discussing what was going to happen with Logan now that they had soulmarks, actually. Because this was more than just Patton being worried about slipping away from his best friend, Patton was also worried about losing his chance to ask Logan on a date so soon after him and Roman had finally worked it out.

The day he had confessed to Roman that he had a crush on Logan had not been a good day.

Patton had come to realise his feelings for Logan at some point almost 6 months ago. It wasn’t like Logan did one thing and suddenly Patton had felt completely differently towards him than he had before, it was more subtle than that. Patton had noticed one day just how his feelings had changed from that platonic appreciation he had felt when he met Logan to something more complex.

And it had been exciting! Patton liked developing new feelings for people! It just filled his heart with wonderful new possibilities. And sure, there was a chance things wouldn’t work out, but there always was, and he was willing to risk it anyway.

The two of them had gone back to Roman’s house after school that day. Logan didn’t join them as he had a test to study for and Patton had thought it was the perfect time to tell Roman about his feelings. Communication was the secret to a healthy relationship after all; it wouldn’t do to keep something this important from his boyfriend.

Patton sometimes forgot that not everybody saw the world as he did. So when hurt had flashed across Roman’s face as quick and bright as a shooting star, Patton had realised he’d messed up.

Roman had turned away almost instantly, though not before Patton had seen tears welling up in his eyes.

“Oh, shoot, Ro,” he’d whispered, “No. Hey, hey, hey, come here.”

Roman had walked over to the window, away from Patton, wrapping his arms around himself. He’d been shaking slightly and Patton had longed to hold him until he was okay again.

“Logan’s great,” Roman’s voice had broken, though Patton had known he was trying not to show it, “I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”

With a barely audible sigh, Patton had moved to stand behind Roman, leaving some distance between them.

“Roman Prince, you turn around and look at me right now,” Patton had said, as sternly as he could muster. Which hadn’t been very stern, considering he’d been watching Roman’s heart break right in front of him and it was all his fault. He should have been more careful.

Roman had turned around, his eyes falling on a spot over Patton’s shoulder, and Patton’s gaze had followed the tear tracks leading down Roman’s face. All he’d wanted to do was wipe them away and wrap his arms around him, but he knew he couldn’t. Not yet.

“Roman.”

Patton’s voice had been soft and kind and infused with all the love Patton had for him. It’d caused Roman to flick his eyes to land on Patton’s face and in return, Patton had given a soft smile.

“I love you,” Patton had put as much conviction into the words as was possible, urging Roman to believe him, “I love you so, so much.”

Roman’s eyes had become watery again, and he’d sniffed slightly as Patton had put his hands on Roman’s waist, drawing him in closer.

“I have an infinite amount of love,” Patton had said, “You know that about me.”

Roman had laughed a little as he nodded. Patton loved Roman’s laugh. It was anywhere from big and boisterous to soft and shy, and every time he heard it it made him want to cover Roman’s face in kisses. But this laugh was tired and self-deprecating and Patton couldn’t stand for that.

“I love animals; I love cookies; I love my parents,” Patton had continued, “I love sunsets and I love hugs. I love onesies and blankets and helping people in need.”

He’d looked Roman directly in the eye.

“I love you. And I love Logan.”

Patton had paused for a second, thinking his next words through. Their breathing had been soft and quiet, barely taking up an inch of space in the bedroom.

“I don’t love you any less because I also love cookies. It’s not like, onesies get 15% of my love and animals get 23% and I have to ration it all out. You all get 100% of my love. You, Roman, get 100% of my love.”

A tear had rolled down Roman’s cheek and Patton had moved his hand from Roman’s waist to wipe it away. As Patton’s thumb had slid across his skin another tear had mirrored the action on Roman’s other cheek, so Patton had reached up to cradle Roman’s face in his hands.

Roman’s eyes had been closed. Tears had clung to his eyelashes and his face was covered in a light blush. He’d looked so fragile and beautiful that Patton couldn’t have done anything but slowly bring their lips together.

The kiss hadn’t been heated, but it had been warm. Roman had poured every insecurity he had into it and Patton had felt his chest expand as he’d responded with love. The kiss had been soft and slow, like a lazy Sunday morning waking up next to your partner, the sun shining in through the open curtains, knowing you’re safe and you are loved. Patton knew he was safe and loved, and he’d needed Roman to know he was too.

As they’d broken away, Patton had leaned his forehead against Roman’s. Roman’s hands had migrated to rest on Patton’s hips, so Patton had linked his hands together behind Roman’s neck, gazing into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“My love for Logan does not diminish my love for you, my dear,” Patton had finished, “I love you with all my heart and I always will.”

Patton was pushed from his reminiscing by a text from his aforementioned boyfriend.

👑 My Prince 👑: cute boy just ran me down in the hallway. seemed upset. can you go check on him? i gotta get to class.

Patton smiled. Roman seemed to act like he didn’t care about other people’s feelings sometimes, but that wasn’t true at all. Half of the people Patton comforted he only knew were upset because Roman pointed them out to him.

Roman knew Patton loved helping people and Roman liked to claim he wasn’t any good at comfort, though Patton knew that wasn’t true either. Really, he thinks the incident with Logan spooked him. Roman was always excellent at cheering Patton up when he was upset, just another way they worked so well together.

He had a free period now, which Roman knew, so he typed out his reply.

Patton-Pending: Sure!! Where were you?? <3

Barely a second went by before Patton got another text; Roman always was a scarily fast typer.

👑 My Prince 👑: main corridor of the west building, near the english classrooms. he was headed towards the bathrooms i think xx

Patton-Pending: On it!!! Xxx

Thankfully in Patton’s nostalgic haze, he’d wandered somewhat in the direction of the right building, so it only took him a couple minutes to arrive at the bathrooms Roman had indicated.

As he pushed open the door, Patton could hear heavy breaths echo around the room, interspersed with the occasional quietly muttered swear word. Patton wanted to chastise the boy for his language, but he also knew that now really wasn’t the time.

“Hey, kiddo, you alright in there?” Patton asked as he slid down the wall to sit outside the boy’s bathroom stall.

It was a mostly rhetorical question since Patton knew he clearly wasn’t alright, but his answer, or lack thereof, could give Patton some insight into his state of mind.

There was a slight hitch in the breathing, but no audible reply from the other side of the door, so Patton tried again.

“Kiddo, I’m gonna need you to breathe with me, okay? Do you think you can do that for me?” he paused for one moment, but after receiving no reply, continued, “Knock once for yes, twice for no.”

There was an agonising moment where he didn’t think he was going to get an answer from the boy at all before Patton heard one quiet knock on the bathroom floor. He breathed out a sigh of relief. Although there were things he could still do to help the boy calm down, it was much easier with some degree of cooperation.

“Alright, you’re doing so well already, okay? I just need you to breathe with me, in for four, hold for seven and out for eight and I’m gonna count out loud, okay?”

There was one more soft knock before Patton began to count, listening carefully to the boy’s breathing to check whether he was able to follow along. There were a few failed attempts, the boy’s breathing unsteady and panicked, but after several minutes, he seemed to have calmed down quite considerably. Patton relaxed just a little bit more.

There was a short moment of silence before the boy spoke up, “Thank you.”

Patton smiled. The boy’s voice was sort of croaky, but Patton was glad that he felt confident enough to talk to him. Patton may even be able to get him to discuss what it was that made him so upset in the first place, as long as he makes it clear that he’s willing to listen.

“No problem, kiddo! That’s what I’m here for!” Patton responded, “My name’s Patton, what about you?”

There was a quiet, semi-humourous chuckle from the other boy.

“You can call me Anxiety.”

Patton hummed slightly. If Anxiety wanted to go by a fake name, Patton wasn’t going to call him out on it. There are tons of reasons why he might not want Patton to know who he is, including feeling embarrassed about having a panic attack in the bathroom.

“Okay, Anxiety,” Patton said, “You think you feel up to talking about what made you so upset?”

There was a long enough pause that Patton felt for sure he was going to refuse to talk, but just as Patton was going to let him know that there’s no pressure to agree, Anxiety said, “I found my soulmate today.”

Patton gasped. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for y-”

“No.”

Anxiety’s voice was harsh and pained. Patton immediately snapped his mouth shut. He should have been more careful. It was clear that this had upset Anxiety, so he shouldn’t have acted so excited about something that was obviously not a positive experience for him. Before he could apologise though, Anxiety pushed on.

“He… He already has a boyfriend. And they’re good together. Better than we could ever be, I’m sure. He’s- God, Patton, he’s too good for me. I know that soulmarks are designed by the universe, or whatever, but they must have made a mistake. I’m not good enough for him.”

Patton let Anxiety’s words wash over him as he tried to come up with some advice. He thought it was best to deal with this issue bit by bit, rather than addressing it all at once and overwhelming him.

“Now, kiddo, if you keep talking bad about yourself, I’m gonna have to physically fight you!”

There was another chuckle from Anxiety, though this one slightly more upbeat.

“Gonna have to get to me first, Pat.”

A few knocks sounded against the locked door of the bathroom stall, making Patton grin. If Anxiety was feeling good enough to joke around, then Patton was doing an okay job.

“Raincheck on the fighting then, kiddo,” he hummed, moving on to the next topic of discussion, “You know not all soulmates are romantic, right? Just because he has a boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t be in his life.”

There was a sigh from Anxiety.

“I’ve had a crush on him for years, way before I knew we were soulmates. I don’t think I can do just friends,” his voice sounded muffled, like he was talking with his head in his hands.

Patton considered this for a second.

“Well, then what about polyamory?”

Patton was gearing up to give an explanation of polyamory and how it differed from cheating, all the usual stuff, but Anxiety beat him to it.

“I mean… I guess… but I don’t know. I still don’t understand why they’d want me. They’re better off without me.”

Patton frowned.

“Kiddo…”

“No, it’s true, Patton,” a sob broke free of Anxiety’s throat and Patton winced slightly.

He leaned over towards the door, wishing he was able to physically comfort Anxiety. The other boy may not necessarily want that, but Patton definitely wished the option was there.

“Just take a deep breath, love, everything is going to be fine,” he cooed, voice as soothing as he felt he could make it.

A laugh from the other side of the door, this one cracked and so sure of its lack of self-worth. It was hollow and messy and tired, filled with so much emotion and so much sadness but at the same time none at all. Patton tried to piece it together, attempting to get a handle on what he could say to make this okay, but it was almost overwhelming to think about.

“Is it, though? Is it going to be fine? I love him! But I can’t do this to him. He deserves better.”

Anxiety’s voice echoed around the bathroom, filling Patton’s ears with disjointed syllables, and he opened up his mouth to speak before he could even register what had been said.

“Well, don’t you think it’s up to him to make that choice?”

There was silence.

Patton wasn’t exactly sure where the advice came from, but it felt like the right path to go down. Before Anxiety could likely even open his mouth again, he pressed on.

“Shouldn’t you let him decide whether he wants to be with you or not? Is it really fair to deprive him of his soulmate just because you think he deserves some arbitrarily-decided ‘better’ person, who he may not even find? They may like you, but you haven’t even given them a chance. Other people always see things in us we don’t see in ourselves.”

Patton thought of Roman. Of how he always felt like he was everybody’s last choice, a consolation prize while you waited for the one you truly wanted. It didn’t matter how popular he got—those people didn’t matter—but the people he truly cared about, those are the ones he always felt will leave him when they get a better offer. A better offer that Patton knew in his heart didn’t exist. He wasn’t leaving Roman, not for anything; he was going to stick by his side until he realised that he was loved. All of him was loved.

Patton thought of Logan. Of how confident he was in his intelligence and how insecure he was in his emotions, never letting his real feelings shine through for fear of… what? Being shunned? Breaking down? Patton didn’t know, but he wanted to be there when it happened. He wanted to catch every falling piece of his broken best friend and help him understand that this is what he was made out of—stardust and light, not cogs and wires. He wanted to show him that it’s okay to be loved and to love in return.

Patton thought of himself. How he was never doing as much as he could be doing, and how he was always hurting the people he loved by being reckless. He thought of his family, how they were the best at everything they did, and all Patton was good for was making other people cry. He couldn’t help all the people he needed to help, it was all too much for one person to handle.

But when Patton felt hopeless, Roman was there. When Patton felt stupid, Logan was there. When Patton felt unloved and unwanted there were a dozen hands lifting him up showing him how wrong he was.

He wanted Anxiety to feel that too.

“Your self-worth issues are clouding your judgement,” Patton whispered, “We’re all human, Anxiety, we all have our issues. Nobody’s as perfect and wonderful as you think they are from a distance.”

There was a shaky inhale from the other side of the door.

“Yo-”

Anxiety’s sentence was interrupted by the sound of the bell. Patton heard him curse under his breath, he imagined due to having missed almost all of the period sitting in the bathrooms. Patton was about to ask Anxiety to continue when he heard the sound of shoes squeaking against the floor outside and the door to the bathroom flew open.

“I thought you were gonna call me, V-!”

The figure in the doorway stopped short, the bag they had in their hand swinging back-and-forth due to their abrupt stop; their other hand held a reusable Starbucks coffee cup, which now had spilt slightly from the top of the lid and onto their skin. Patton gave them a small smile and they returned with a nod, their previously shocked expression having melted into something more confident.

Dropping both the bag on their back and the bag in their hand at the door, they strode up to stand in front of Patton.

“I think I can take over from here, gurl,” they said, offering him their hand to get up.

Patton gratefully accepted before turning to face the bathroom stall once more.

“Anxiety,” Patton began, “‘There are millions of possibilities for the future, but it's up to you to choose which becomes reality. Please understand. You choose your own future,’ but you don’t have the right to choose other’s futures for them.”

Remy whistled. “Woah, deep.”

“It’s a Steven Universe quote,” Patton laughed, “Good luck, Anxiety; I have full faith in you.”

And with that, he walked out of the bathroom to find Roman and Logan for break.

————————————————

Chapter 4

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Tag list: @bunny222 @jadedfantasies231 @221b-quote @reinefandoms @i-really-dig-the-purple @bionic-egypt @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @mistress-jinx09 @soijusthavetoask @iamsexuallyattractedtopans @the-writersblock @theunoriginaldaisy @therubyjailcell @sandersfandersblog @hghrules

General tag list <333: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard

#woo! new chapter!#glad to get that out of the way #maybe I can even write another one shot now #it's almost been a week I really need to get on that #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders side fic #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #lo can write

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laufire · 6 years

Note

For the tv show ask 1-7, 9 & 10

(Glad to see you considered question 8 as boring as I do xD)

if you could reboot one TV show, which one would it be?

This is a hard questions because honestly, I don’t think in reboots xD. If I loved a show, a ~reimagining of it doesn’t come to my mind? Even if I won’t mind it if it happened (this is my reminder for checking out the Charmed reboot once and for all, it’s one of the very few I’ve been enthusiastic about).

Hmm. Maybe some type of Lois & Clark reboot? In the sense that I’ve wanted a clois show that reimagined the source material for a while. I would want it with Lois’ POV as the lead tho; Lois would still be older and more established than Clark, and I’ve always liked the idea of her as a war correspondent (or at least former war correspondent). It could be interesting to use a visual medium instead of newspapers, too. Lucy Liu has been one of my fancasts for a while, NGL, reinforced by that Set It Up movie. She looks a lot like the STAS version. I’ve also seen Morley and Lindsay fancasted as Clois over twitter and it’s GOOD, but tbh I want Lois to be older than him.

if you could have saved one TV show from cancellation, which one would it be?

A few months ago, I would’ve said El Ministerio del Tiempo (The ministry of time, aka the show timeless ripped-off lol), but it’s just been renewed for a fourth season after over a year without a word and I’m over the moon (they announced it the day of Los Santos Inocentes, aka Spain’s equivalent to April’s Fools, and I was suspicious about it for over a week lmao).

So with that out of the way, the question would be between Sarah Connor Chronicles and Galavant, tbh. Probably SCC, because that cliff-hanger still haunts me to this day.

have you ever quit a show before it finished? why?

I quit shows ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Usually, it’s simply because they don’t grab my hyper-fixation, and if I’m not 200% into it, what’s the point, really (sometimes, if I *do* really like some parts of the story, I go back when the season is finished and binge-watch, but mostly I just quit). Other times it’s because I can tell that my priorities are too different from the writers and I pre-emptively pull away. But mostly is due to lack of enthusiasm for the story. I don’t think I’ve ever rage-quitted anything.

are there any shows you wish could just be cancelled already?

Not really. I mean, most of my current shows are brand new xD (Legacies, Roswell, The Umbrella Academy, Elite, Sex Education, Black Monday -where I’m not caught up because I Fear the ending and I want to see how it all pans down-; I just started Deadly Class and I’m loving it), and the others are The 100, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Veep, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (tho if last season had been its end I’d be fine with it, it was gr10 for me and my priorities lol) and Suits, where, tbh, if the writers maintained the level of engagement I’ve felt in the last season, I would be fine with them running more years. And the rest of the shows I’m entertaining to watch are already finished or cancelled, so.

(I heard about SPN’s cancellation and I’m actually a little sad about it lol. Not for the show itself -I’ve only watched Bela’s, Ruby’s and Anna’s episodes and that’s how it’s forever gonna stay; I knew I would never be able to get into the show because Dean is pretty much my anti-type of lead character lol. But I found its endurability hilarious and it’s cancellation sounds fake xDD).

what’s your comfort show?

RN, Star vs the Forces of Evil. I wish more people in my dash watched it because it’s the cutest thing ever, and it has legitimately gr10 storylines. I need to watch the latests eps.

Other comfort shows: Galavant, Gravity Falls, Lois & Clark… almost any of my favourite animated shows, tbh.

which shows do you think are underrated and need more love?

Of my current shows, Black Monday. I haven’t seen anyone on my dash mention it, and it had me hooked from the first episode and the next just reinforced it (I haven’t watched past that because, as I said, there’s some foreshadowing that makes me fear the ending, as I am already way too invested… there’s only two episodes left, so I’ll be binge-watching it soon tho).

have you ever been inspired to start a new show based on gifs or memes it has produced?

That’s exactly why I started Deadly Class yesterday and I’m already half-way through lol (it’s only ten eps long). I saw it around tumblr and I took notice, thinking I might try it out at some point, though I didn’t know what it was about. Then I saw this gifset (it’s from the pilot, so not too spoilery), and I needed to know what the fuck was going on LMAO. Fair warning, though not too graphic (except kind of in the flashbacks, which are drawn in comic style and have the worst content), it has frankly upsetting/potentially triggering content. But I’m really enjoying the ~vibe and its characters. The protagonist (my fave) kind of reminds me of Scott McCall? Not so much in personality (… there he kind of reminds me of Jason Todd lol, with caveats), but in the “his milkshake brings all the boys (and girls, and nb folk) to the yard” factor xDD

what’s one show you thought you’d hate but turned out to really enjoy?

I tend to be right about my predictions in this regard lol. Usually, at most I’ll start watching something ~casually/with other people, and later it grabs me when I start shipping/stanning some characters HARD (see: MCU, Shadowhunters).

Oh, I recently started watching Legends of Tomorrow with a friend (except we’re going backwards because she’s in s4 and I didn’t feel the need to catch up first lol); giving my meh reaction to the rest of the CW DC verse (The Flash is the only one I tolerate & can casually watch some arcs once in a while, and it’s because Westallen it’s what it is, basically. I’m kind of curious about the daughter-from-the-future plotline and I might watch last season when it’s over. In general, there’s something about the ~pathos of the ‘verse that rubs me the wrong way), and I’m liking it A LOT more than I expected? Most of the characters really ~*spark* and I’m loving it (notable exceptions: Ava, Mick, and Grant? Gary? IDK, that dude).

what’s one show you thought you’d love but turned out to really hate?

Hmm… kind of same-as-above. This is probably partially because of my tendency to drop shows at the first sign of anything unappealing, because it doesn’t let my feelings grow into hate lol.

#grapecase #too many stuff to tag lol #my thoughts #replies #talking to the void #clois #dc #dctv #dc's legends of tomorrow #black monday #star vs the forces of evil #deadly class #el ministerio del tiempo #lois and clark: the new adventures of superman #dc thoughts #deadly class thoughts #and i'm gonna stop right there lol

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