#...make them feel dehumanized and wonder if that's how other people see them and it's really not OK they feel this way...

[neon-moon-beam]

Excuse me, Ingo and Emmet are not "sad train men". They're actually very positive, wholesome, and supportive of everyone they meet. Not sure who needs to hear this or needs to interact with the source material or even just log off and touch some grass, but there it is.

If your first thought about Ingo and Emmet is "how sad can I make the sad train blorbos", you need to realize you either don't know how they actually are as characters, especially if you've only been following fandom interpretations, or else maybe you're just willfully ignoring the actual characterization, in which case you're treating them as though they're your personal OCs which can be alienating to other fans who want to see actual Submas. There's nothing wrong with making an OC if you don't want Ingo and Emmet to be themselves! If the characters are really starting to only be Ingo and Emmet in name and appearance only, you may want to really consider this route (yes, even if they're in an alternate universe).

If your first thought about Ingo and Emmet is "how unhinged can I make the sad train blorbos", you've got some ableist ideas about two autistic-coded characters, and you need to educate yourself and think about how your fan interpretations and headcanons might impact others. Fans of Submas tend to be neurodivergent, and they're especially popular with autistic people. Think about how painting Ingo and Emmet's autistic traits as "unhinged", "feral", "scary", or even singling them out as being not human (not talking about Pokemon Mystery Dungeon aus, or aus where everyone is a Pokemon, etc) because of their autistic traits is going to make autistic people feel. Seriously, think critically about it for two seconds. If you need a hint, the ableism is a huge reason many people have left the fandom, or refuse to engage with it.

[noxtivagus]

i've been less shy lately so damn i realized how. idk how to say it. wait

[genderkoolaid]

hey i was wondering something and i wanted to know your opinion on it

Why is it problematic to say i hate men but not white people or straight people

(i'm a trans south east asian man btw)

I'd say on, like, a casual exasperated level, its not problematic to say "I hate [x]." It gets problematic when your venting about a group becomes your sole lens of viewing + interacting with that group.

Like, its entirely alright to be frustrated with behaviors common to cishet white men and express that in a vent by saying you hate them. But... its like how people make the correct point that they shouldn't be expected or obligated to give all their energy to coddling people with power over them, but translate that into "i never have to care about a member of this group at all" which directly conflicts with just. being in a community? Like women should not be expected to be caretakers for men, but people in a community need to take care of each other. When the only way you engage with a group of people is by expressing hatred and asserting how much you aren't obligated to care about them, its easier than people think to find yourself dehumanizing them.

Which does not mean "you are just as bad as a racist/misogynist" or "you are oppressing them"; you are An Individual whose biases are not necessarily backed up by powerful systemic powers. But, for one, its very easy for those biases to be used by systemic forces: with men, misandry is very easily used to justify all kinds of violence towards marginalized men & people perceived as men. You also have situations where people will say the Holocaust "wasn't as bad" as, say, US slavery, because it was "white on white violence," or saying the Armenian genocide also wasn't that big of a deal because "it was done to Christians and Christians are always killing people" (two real things I have seen been said). And, again: if you are going to care about community and restorative/transformative justice and all that, you need to be able to give a shit about all kinds of people who you live with. You need to be able to see them as whole beings you are capable of connecting with on some level. You don't personally need to date or befriend men, but you do need to be able to give a shit about men in your community.

Its fine to feel annoyance and anger and use "hatred" to express that. But the problem occurs when people take "its okay to be angry with your oppressors and not spend all your energy coddling them" and make that the end-all be-all of their relationship with people of whatever group; revolutions can't accomplish compassionate goals when they are run on hatred. Very hooksian concept but "love" (as in "a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust", not in a strictly emotional sense but as an action) is a skill that is as vital as understanding class dynamics and protest tactics. Maybe you don't need to love everyone, but try to have the capacity to love anyone; the ability to physically care for someone you don't emotionally like is, I think, a vital step towards truly challenging and bringing down the kyriarchy.

Basically its about recognizing when your venting stops being an outlet and starts being a way for unproductive feelings to shape how you view other people.

[jewishvitya]

Saw an interview with the Israeli ambassador in the UK where she openly rejects the idea of a Palestinian state at all. Including in a two-states scenario. Which, I knew this is the position of our government, Netanyahu was recently trying to push the "I'm the only one who can prevent a Palestinian state," but she was unusually open and explicit about it for an international interview.

And I didn't realize it at first (because I'm awful with faces... and names) but that's Tzipi Hotoveli. She's so right-wing that she was a popular name in the settlements when I lived there. And this is something I can say about many politicians currently running the government, they are the names that aligned politically with the most extremist community. And this is why she's so bad at being diplomatic about it - the people with that mentality rarely care about watering down their goals.

A mutual of mine on a different platform, an American anti-zionist Jew, talked about a trip they took to the West Bank. It was organized to show the occupation, the checkpoints, etc. Someone asked in response if they visited settlements too, and said that he was glad they enjoyed the trip, but it seems to be all one color.

This was a weird comment. What can you see in the settlements to change your mind, if you care about human rights. What can you see that would erase the suffering of Palestinians there, or give context to justify it. Even if settlers knew to say all the right words, this shouldn't be enough to make you forget what Palestinians are living through.

But they don't say the right words. Especially there, the people openly dehumanize Palestinians. And if you talk to them for a while, they will do it to your face. And they will be open about wanting no Palestinians living on any part of the land. Israeli Arabs are often seen as a different story, as long as they accept Israeli sovereignty. Still not fully trusted, though.

I saw someone confusing the electric fence I mentioned in a few posts, with the separation fence, which is the wall around the West Bank. Not the same thing.

The separation fence is built within the territory of the West Bank, but it's a large wall all around that cuts them off from other areas of the land.

The electric fence is smaller, and it's specific. The one I'm referring to is in Kiryat Arba, near Hebron. That's the settlement I grew up in. It's one of the more established settlements, and it's basically a small town. Right behind the apartment building I lived in, there was the electric fence. And in a distance of maybe a couple of traffic lanes past the fence, were Palestinian homes. They could see us, we could see them.

The fence was there for our sake, not for the Palestinians. But sometimes the settlers would tear it down, forcing the border police and the military to guard that spot and rebuild it. I wondered why, because a hole in the fence near my home scared me. And then I learned they were protesting against the feeling that they're being contained. The settlers, with how they're constantly expanding, felt that they're not given enough. Settlers treat "we can't expand as fast as we'd like" as if that's oppression.

They would regularly get into conflicts with border police and with the military over this. They'd go out to claim another hill, and their temporary homes would get torn down. Individuals from the West Bank settlements would have the Shin Bet keeping track of them in case they'll do something that could provoke an escalation of violence. And this isn't to claim that Israel was being fair to Palestinians or protecting their interests. It just means that Israel tried to be strategic to an extent, and the settlers are inflammatory. Their stated goal, openly talked about, is to establish a presence on the ground, so that any agreement that gives land to Palestinians won't be possible. I kept hearing sentences like "not even a square centimeter." Meaning that they want to leave nothing for Palestinians. They aren't trying to think about what Israel can get away with, they feel entitled to everything.

And these are the people that the current Israeli government aligns with. Which puts a lot of things out in the open, and pushes a lot of other things into further extremes.

[fuckmeyer]

Jasper as a character is so interesting because he ends up a Confederate because he can't actually empathise with the slaves and because he simply accepts cruelty around him, and then when he becomes a vampire he literally can't ignore others suffering because it hurts him, but even decades after he becomes a Vegetarian he still can't get a hang of it partially because he still can't see humans as *people*. Idk there's smth to be said about him becoming a vampire because of his own cruelty and then being eternally in horrific pain because of said cruelty that fucks.

Jasper's whole life is a curse & i love to see it

here we have a Confederate supposedly so empathetic that he acquired a "gift"... yet not so empathetic as to recognize he was fighting for the enslavement of an entire race. despite seeing the consequences of slavery literally every day. now, the man who spent his last human days denying the humanity in others is forced to spend his immortal life being slapped in the face with their emotions. forever. hueeueueueu-

yeah, i would call that "gift" a curse, actually.

if Twilight weren't a horror story, we might see a discussion between Jasper/Bella about how immortality forces you to confront the darker side of your nature (e.g. "there will come a day when the societal beliefs imbued unto you leaves you standing on the wrong side of history"), & Jasper's journey with finding love & humanity. OR, y'know, he could've just had ONE (1) line where he says "yeah i'm not proud of my service." simply, if Twilight weren't a horror, Jasper could see the error of his ways & change for the better.

HOWEVER. Twilight vampires are "mentally frozen" when they turn, so Jasper is likely still a racist who does not regret his service. no matter how many times he is confronted with his cruelty, he won't change. meaning whatever life he chooses, his gift dooms him.

wow! eternal curse!

we see evidence of this frozen mental state in his decision to go vegetarian. he doesn't switch bc he feels bad about killing humans:

"I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them. [...] You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me." (Eclipse, Ch 13)

note the dehumanizing term "prey" & the focus on himself. he laments not that the human lives he's taking have value but that their dying moments harsh his vibe.

the irony! trapped as an empath while never possessing the ability to be an empath! CURSE CURSE C-

herein lies a bigger, juicier curse: Jasper is, himself, (hot take) enslaved in the sense that he will never know freedom, philosophically speaking, due to the choices he made in life. the series tries to paint him as a master tactician & competent leader; fanon often paints him as a free-thinking amoral black sheep. in reality, he simply obeys the commands of higher authorities & abides by their worldview regardless of how toxic it is to himself or others.

in the beginning, he had María.

he entered the Southern Vampire Wars not by his own volition but stayed because he was content not having a choice. however one feels about María, the fact of the matter is 1) as a newborn he was stronger, bigger, & faster than her & could have run away or overpowered her, 2) had the "gift" to identify emotions & could KNOW when/if she was malicious or manipulating him, & 3) could have escaped by influencing her emotions to make her disinterested in him. at any time in the 100 years they were together, he could have left. he talks about never knowing a life outside the war & discovering "options I'd never dreamed I had." ok???? run 100 miles in any direction & you would have seen a life outside of war. BOI-

instead, he took comfort in being submissive & adopting someone else's ideology. not only did it remind him of his past, but it meant he had no need to reflect on his actions or beliefs. he prefers others dictate his worldview & order him around even if it means being unhappy. he only left because he was going to be assassinated, & even then, it wasn't until someone else told him another life was possible that he "realized" another life was possible.

notably, the period where he's most free— living with Peter & Charlotte— is his rock-bottom where "the depression got worse." but, again, not because he realized the value of human life: "I was so wearied by killing [...] even mere humans."

then he meets Alice.

Alice, who has visions of being vegetarian & converts him so they can live with the Cullens. Alice, who dictates how her family should live their lives to the point where she manipulates them. Alice, who goes so far as to dress the Cullens, who orders Jasper to wait in the car while she & Bella go shopping, who Jasper refers to as "truly [...] one frightening little monster" because for all his experience she can still beat him in combat.

his eternal soulmate is authority.

despite being unhappy with his vegetarian life, as it makes him feel weak & coddled & a liability to everyone around him, he follows the lifestyle because Alice tells him to.

then there's the Volturi, another authoritative body. "We owe the Volturi for our present way of life," says acclaimed bootlicker Jasper Hale, who in the same moment shudders at the atrocities they committed, yet strangely sees no other way for a governing body to keep the peace... so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but, since Carlisle outranks the Volturi as an authoritative figure in that he more closely aligns with Jasper's new worldview, Jasper sees no problem deposing the vampiric governing body if it means his sister-in-law of like 2 months can keep her demonic spawn. so i guess we don't really owe the Volturi that much

to his credit, we see glimmers of him questioning his leaders: 1) his decision to leave Maria, 2) his considering switching diets to defeat Victoria, & 3) going against the Volturi. but, again, these decisions are all just a result of his self-preservation & submitting to the higher authority du jour.

in the end, he has the perfect storm of conditions that would allow him to escape the prison he's created, to find freedom & to love humanity unconditionally... but he won't. Jasper's ultimate curse is that regardless of whether he realizes the enslavement of his own self, he will never leave his cage because it's cozy & easy & allows him to never think for himself.

AAAANYWAY Jasper's life sucks & he's trapped in an eternal prison of his own making. lol

[sunlit-haruka]

This Yamanaka interview rotates in my head every day for multiple reasons, but one of them has to be this quote when he talks about the characters

Yamanaka: For me, I do not want my characters to be perceived as two-dimensional beings. I stick to the idea that they are based on real people who happen to have a two-dimensional appearance. That’s one of my rules when creating characters, and I also make sure to write down their backstory in the materials.

So, even though the setting of the story in MILGRAM is a fantasy space, I wanted the characters themselves to feel like they could exist right beside you.

Thinking about this quote with the context of how flawed and shitty (in terms of morality and beliefs) the cast of Milgram is even putting aside their murders makes me respect Yamanaka so much for his bravery as a writer. Bad humans are still humans. They're made of flesh blood and bone like you and me, as well as all of the other factors that compile us as humans. By dehumanizing bad people and going "I could never become like that", you are negating yourself from actually self reflecting on your own actions and learning how to prevent becoming like those people by seeing them as monsters rather than human. And that is why I love the Milgram cast so much. The prisoners, for the most part, are shitty people even when you don't put their murders into the equation. It's easy to look at their actions, beliefs, and their selves at just their skin and turn your head away telling yourself "That could never be me" But once you take a cleaver and cut into them from the head down, their humanity starts to spill out. Their goals and motivations behind these actions, the experiences they went through that made them like this, and how that all culminates up until the moment of their murder. And when you view it like that, it's hard not to wonder if you would've done gone down a similar route if placed in similar circumstances. It's such a nuanced way of writing a cast full of 'bad people' that I rarely ever see, even in other casts with a similar concept. I have to commend Yamanaka for that.

[caparrucia]

Here's one of those uncomfortable tidbits that no one wants to think about and which people in cozy internet bubbles hate being reminded of:

The way you speak about people you dislike/hate is a red flag to people you do like/love.

The way you express anger and frustration and rage about people who wronged you, even people who wronged you badly, in a wider context, is very often a red flag for others around you. Do you let your anger be a justification to use dehumanizing language? Slurs? Are your personal feelings the measure you use to determine who is allowed personhood and who isn't?

This doesn't mean you're not allowed to be angry. This doesn't mean that you're not allowed to express said anger. It doesn't even mean your anger is not justified.

But if you find yourself sitting alone in your corner of rage, wondering why your personal connections tend to wither and fizz out, it probably is because you're constantly talking about people who make you angry and all the things you'd like to do to them. And like, people who first encounter that, might be sympathetic, might be wary, but the more visceral your anger is, the more readily you express it, the more people start wondering what's the threshold to trigger that behavior. Will you be talking about them in that tone too, if they piss you off? Will they be the subject of one of your tirades, if they make a mistake? Are you going to go on a rampage, calling them slurs, if it turns out they don't agree with you?

Anger is, for better or for worse, the kind of emotion you share with close friends, not with strangers trying to become friends, or new friends who don't know you yet. Anger is the kind of thing a good friend will know how to parse. But if it's a new person and all they know about you is how angry you are about something or someone, they will lack the context to understand that your anger is justified and that it's not the entirety of your personality... because you have made it so that's the only part of your personality they've seen.

Discord culture being what it is, it's fascinating how prevalent "vent" channels are, and how people just go in there and scream their rage in search of sympathy. But it tends to back fire, because to get sympathy from strangers, your venting needs to be edited to sound like you're in the right. Your anger needs to be righteous, to evoke support in those vent spaces. And it becomes a cycle.

Cause the thing is, anger isn't always justified or righteous. Sometimes you're BEC about someone! (Bitch Eating Crackers, a shorthand for "this person annoys me to an irrational amount, anything they do is parsed as a negative", "LOOK AT THE BITCH, EATING CRACKERS" etc.) And that's anger that needs to be expressed and processed! But that's the kind of anger that only close friends can handle. If you put that anger out, performing in the hopes of getting support, you're going to need to either lie egregiously about why you're angry, or you're going to alienate a ton of people because it turns out "is capable of irrational anger about things/people" is a pretty common red flag when that's all you know about someone.

Just.

I keep seeing post after post of people bemoaning being lonely and abandoned and failing to establish long-lasting connections and it's just.

It's the anger. You keep greeting people with anger and anger is a great emotion to fuel a lot of things, like change and protection and closing ranks, but it's kinda shit at building long lasting connections. Try curiosity or good will! It doesn't mean you have to stop being angry, either. If you're angry, you're angry! But when you're trying to build relationships, using anger as an all-purpose tool is like trying to hammer a nail with a saw.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Is it being discriminatory or offensive to think that being mtf is always going to be harder than being ftm? (I am enby afab)

Lee says:

Your question touches on a complex and sensitive topic within the trans community, and it's important to approach this with an understanding that every individual's experience with gender identity and transition is unique, and there are various factors that can influence the challenges they face.

The concept of intersectionality is crucial here. People experience discrimination differently based on intersecting aspects of their identity like race, class, age, disability, and their socioeconomic status, access to healthcare, etc.

And even beyond that, each person's journey is shaped by a multitude of factors including their family dynamics, social environment, cultural context. These factors can make the experience of being trans vastly different for each individual.

You can't compare two people based on a single identity and say "ah this person must have had it worse because they are [X identity]!" because people aren't just one single identity, they're whole people.

Certain things can affect one part of the trans community more than another, like hypervisibility vs invisibility/erasure for example, or the rhetoric supporting laws that prevent trans people from competing on teams that match their identified gender. It's true that trans woman are often dehumanized and seen as either sexual predators, as sexual objects, or as a joke, and as a result are often the targets of a lot of transphobic rhetoric.

Minority stress is real, and it can affect people's physical and mental health even if they are not personally facing a current physical threat to their safety.

While trans people who were AMAB may be more affected by some of that stress, that doesn't mean it exclusively affects them-- often the whole community ends up feeling the effects.

Even if trans women are often targeted in bathroom bills, for example, the end result is no trans person can use the bathroom that aligns with their gender. And being discriminated against for being transgender and seeing others face discrimination for a shared identity can create distress and that should be acknowledged.

Comparing the struggles between segments of the trans community can inadvertently create a hierarchy of suffering, which is not constructive. It's more helpful to acknowledge that while experiences can be different, each individual's challenges are valid and deserving of support and understanding.

We get variations on this discourse pretty frequently and I used to answer this question when it was asked. But recently I started to wonder what good my answer will do-- If I tell you "x group is Most Oppressed tm" how does that change anyone's lives for the better?

If you're interested in this type of thing from an academic perspective then you can study the issue more, and make up all the "What if" scenarios you want. A trans woman who grows up in a supportive white liberal NYC family, starts puberty blockers at age 12, starts estrogen and legally changes her name and gender marker at age 15, has bottom surgery at 18 and goes off to college having been "passing" as female since childhood is going to have a vastly different experience than a Black transmasculine person who grew up in poverty in the South, doesn't have a supportive family, came out at 16 and was kicked out and then never finished high school, manages to start testosterone at 23 but isn't able to afford top surgery until they 34 and is often misgendered as a result of not being able to bind in their physical job. They will have completely different backgrounds, experiences, and privileges even if they both started to transition before middle age. And of course "passing privilege" is another can of worms that I'm not going to open here.

Instead of focusing on which group has it harder, it's beneficial to recognize that yes, there are some differences in our experiences, when viewed on average, but that should be used as motivation to help people who genuinely need it instead of just being divisive.

When you notice someone using transphobic arguments or targeting any trans people, you should obviously speak up and fight back on their behalf if you're comfortable-- we have to support each other, but we're all part of the same community and everyone's safety is important. Don't put yourself in danger.

So yeah, I'm tired of rehashing the Discourse and won't be answering questions about that type of topic. Good vibes only lol. In general, we all need to work to foster a sense of solidarity and support within the trans community and be open to listening to the experiences of all trans individuals. Understanding the diverse perspectives within the transgender community can lead to greater empathy and support, and mutual support can be a powerful tool in navigating the challenges of living in a transphobic culture.

[edenfenixblogs]

Hello, as a non-Jewish person I have read Night because of your posts. I am not very good at articulating my thoughts, and if anything I say brings up questions for you I will try and answer them. The beginning where there is a sense of hope, is so awful because it just constantly gets worse and worse. The worsening of the regulations while the people of his village tell themselves that it is not too bad, but it is terrible, right from the first limitation, and even before it, all the events that led to it.“German laborers were going to work. They would stop and look at us with no surprise” (100), “And the spectators observed those emancipated creatures ready to kill for a piece of bread”(101). This dehumanization, I wonder how did the German citizens live with it? This sentiment continues on to this day, and yet it is dismissed so easily. “I was sixteen” His relationship with his religion is hurt so much, this general feeling of hopelessness that other people around him also feel, “Just like Rabbi Eliahu’s son, I had not passed the test”. He feels such guilt, he tries so hard to help his father, even as he is starving himself.

While I read this book, sometimes I thought that whatever is happening in this book was not that bad. Sometimes they would get a thicker soup and that would make him happy. How awful is that? For this to be normal for him. For this to not be unusual to me. In the stories of the Holocaust that I have learned, these things are not unfamiliar, the starvation, the apathy of other civilians, the death marches. His story has been categorized in my mind as another set of terrible things that were done to a Jewish person during the Holocaust. His story, every single atrocity that was done to him, I can not imagine properly, yet I only feel an undefinable upset over what happened to him. I think there is something wrong with that? I have very recently discovered that I am, in fact, antisemitic, from your posts and someone else that also realized their antisemitism (which you pointed out), and am trying to outgrow it. I am concerned that my reaction to this book is greatly affected by antisemitism. I can’t tell, am I telling myself that his suffering was ok? Am I? In the book, there are often mentions of Jewish culture that I do not know of. For example, “Shavuot” and the New Year being in summertime. I understand that these are google-able questions, but I was wondering if you have resources for a general introduction into Jewish culture and history? I hope by learning more I can dismantle my antisemitism. If you know a better way to do so, I would appreciate if you could let me know! Thank you for the recommendation to read Night, I will read All But My Life next. I am sorry if my concern over my antisemitism reads as shallow, I do not know how else to express it.

Friend, I am SO PROUD OF YOU and SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU!!!!!

I have said repeatedly that all journeys begin somewhere. More people are antisemitic than are not antisemitic, because that’s how systemic oppression works. You have been taught to hate me.

I thank you for seeing our shared humanity and working to unlearn the harmful things you know.

1. How did the Germans live with the dehumanization? The same way people are living with the dehumanization of Jews now. German antisemitism was deeply tied to antisemitic concepts and tropes that long predated Hitler. These tropes and conspiracy theories had been floating around Europe for a very long time. Furthermore, they have never gone away. All the old tropes and conspiracy theories are resurfacing in the internet age, because the Holocaust only temporarily shamed antisemites, but not enough significant cultural shifts occurred to stop it from rising again.

2. “…sometimes I thought that whatever was happening was not that bad…” I think I see what you are saying. I don’t know your age or where you are from, so I’m not sure if you’ve ever dealt with these kinds of feelings before, let alone how to articulate them — or how to do so in English. But you seem to be horrified by what is happening but you also seem to feel guilt that you find moments of relief in the horrible times as well. I don’t think that makes you a bad person. I just think that makes you a person. The human mind is not built to comprehend trauma on the scale seen during The Holocaust. It instinctively tries to find moments of reprieve that prove things aren’t that bad. And, to be fair, Judaism applauds this. It is a very Jewish idea that we should always look for moments of joy even when our hearts are steeped in misery. Because life is joy. And it is sometimes impossible to wrap our minds around how joyless life can be, and often was for Jews during this time. But your instinct to recognize the impulse to say “well, this day/moment/experience wasn’t so bad” and correct yourself to say, “actually this is a horrific terrible thing that just wasn’t as bad as that other horrific terrible thing that just happened” instead is a good instinct. One of the reasons the Holocaust occurred was because both Jews and non-Jews gave in to this instinct to minimize suffering. Jews minimized our own suffering and clung to hope until it was too late too late to fight back successfully. From the moment we were told to register on lists and wear stars and get on trains, we all should have fought. We should have fought louder and more to condemn Hitler while he was on the rise and to shame those who would vote for him. But ultimately, we were still outnumbered terribly and nothing we did could have stopped the horrors that followed if non-Jews didn’t support us. Non-Jews, of course, bare the true guilt and responsibility for the Holocaust. They refused to question their own hatred. They turned a blind eye to the rising antisemitism. They abandoned their friends in need. They complied with hostile forces who threatened them in order to betray the Jews around them.

Your job as a non-Jew is to never repeat those mistakes. Never let an instance of antisemitism go unremarked on. Ever. And learn what antisemitism looks like. Refuse to ever let it exist or ignored in your presence.

Everyone likes to pretend they would do this, but very few ever do. The reality is that some people hate Jews so much, they will stop being your friend for defending us. And to be a good person, you have to be willing to let those people leave your life if they are unwilling to let go of their hate and learn to do better. The reality is that, at some point, you may very well be asked to choose to reject a friend for the sake of the safety of Jews you have never and will never meet. The good news is that this is not the case the majority of the time!

Most people want to consider themselves good people. And most people want the approval of their peer groups.

Your job is to steer the attitude of your peer group away from antisemitic thinking and toward peace and deconstruction of hateful systemic antisemitism—rather than allowing your peer group to steer you toward the comforting familiarity of Jew-hatred.

3. “…I have recently discovered that I am antisemitic…” I forgive you. As I said, most people are. I draw a distinction between someone who is antisemitic and someone who is an antisemite. You have harmful and negative opinions about Jews because of the systemic bigotry you have been surrounded by your whole life. But this hatred has not become your identity. You recognize this hatred as a part of you that must be discarded. Antisemitism is something you have, not something you are. And you are doing the right things to make sure you stop being antisemitic. This, to me, means you are not an antisemite. If you give up and stop caring about Jews and unlearning these harmful thought patterns, that would make you an antisemite. Because that would mean you are comfortable folding the antisemitism you possess into your identity and sense of self. It seems to me you do not wish to do this. And that means you’re growing and changing for the better. And that is beautiful.

4. “I am concerned that my reaction to this book is affected by antisemitism.” Yeah it probably is. But so is most people’s reaction to this book. That’s the point. Your being willing to confront that is what is important. It is about looking at the places where you lose empathy for Jews, asking yourself why, and then fixing the reason you find.

5. “Am I telling myself his suffering was ok?” I think you’re doing the opposite. I think you’re re-sensitizing yourself to something you were de-sensitized to. That is difficult and admirable.

6. Regarding Jewish culture:

6.a. “Shavuot” is a Jewish holiday. It is the anniversary of the day G-d gave the Torah to the Israelites. In general, a good way to familiarize yourself with stuff like this is to look for resources about Jewish holidays and what they mean. Hebcal offers short summaries of each Jewish holiday that you can import into your phone calendar and learn about as they happen. Wikipedia has a page about Jewish holidays that you can explore. So does the Jewish Virtual Library.

6.b. Jewish culture is vast and impossible to summarize simply. I would recommend starting with the Wikipedia Page on Jewish Culture and exploring whatever seems interesting to you. You’ll never learn it all and that’s ok! I’ve never met a Jew who knows it all either! We have so many subcultures all over the world shaped by unique experiences in diaspora. The most important thing to take away is that no matter how far apart we are or how differently we practice, we are all one people whose goal is to love our fellow humans and do our best to make the world a better place. This is called Tikkun Olam, which means repairing the world. This in itself is a huge concept. But it all relates to making the world better for one another.

I think you are doing a beautiful and amazing thing. And you, by choosing to remove hate from your mind and your actions, are actively making the world a better place. You are repairing some of the damage done by systemic antisemitism.

You are doing Tikkun Olam. And that, in every possible situation, is the best thing you can ever do. Thank you, @JellyMarbles

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Going Out

Whether you loved, liked, were neutral, or outright hated today’s Step by Step episode, I want to talk about one of my most favorite (and poignant) moments of today’s episode.

This hand holding scene. 

But, wka, there are so many other scenes for you to focus on! You say. But, wka, there were multiple spicy scenes you need to do body language break down on. But, wka, last week you wrote a 20 page deep dive in to Pat’s psyche. Why are you hyperfixating on this four minute sequence???

BECAUSE THE SOCIAL COMMENTARY TEE AND THE REST OF THE PRODUCTION TEAM IS GIVING HERE IS BEAUTIFUL, BRILLIANT, AND LOWKEY MAKING ME EMOTIONAL GODDAMMIT. 

As someone with strong, deeply rooted beliefs in empathy, in connection, in harm reduction, I can firmly and sincerely say there are people who I consider a part of my community, who I care for deeply, who are my friends who are homeless, who are drug users, or who are homeless drug users. And having worked in harm reduction before let me tell you how truly wonderful and enraging it is to provide people basic services and treat them with basic goddamn dignity and respect and how genuinely surprised, uncertain, or overjoyed my unhoused and/or drug using loved ones are to have someone who actually cares about them. 

SO, I present those pre-emptive thoughts and personal background as proof of concept for what I am about to glean from this whole scene. 

The scene transitions from flirting to community service when Jeng asks Pat if he wants to come with him to give food to the homeless, and I don’t remember this but @bengiyo did but this is something Jeng has been doing since Episode 1, and it shows in the reception Jeng receives when he arrives to this spot under the bridge.

The people who live here know Jeng, the people who live here like Jeng, he comes here often enough that he has established a rapport with their community and it is so so wonderful for me to see this nepo baby raised on rich bitch juice feeling comfortable and at ease with a group of people that society (at least Western society) almost always ignores, belittles, or downright dehumanizes. 

And if I wasn’t already impressed with how Jeng and Step by Step as a whole was handling its portrayal of cultivated relationships with unhoused people, Jeng takes this even further, when he hands the woman the rest of the food bags: 

Now, this is a brief scene and we don’t get a lot of information at all about the people who are living here, but in my mind, or rather the indication I have for this interaction is that Jeng has identified a community pillar, trusts that community member, and is recognizing and valuing the autonomy of the community to distribute the rest of the resources they have been given. 

Most everyone Jeng handed food to wandered off and went about their night, leaving Jeng and Pat alone to sit and talk. Under a bridge. With homeless people nearby. Rather than leave. This is SO IMPORTANT TO ME. It is SO SO SO important to me that Jeng and Pat don’t just show up, hand out food, and immediately return to Jeng’s fancy car to drive back to Jeng’s fancy condo but that they stay and they talk here under the bridge, maintaining a respectful distance since Jeng and the rest of the people in this scene do not appear to have built a strong enough relationship to join them directly, but sharing space nevertheless.

(I will not talk about barriers, I will not talk about barriers, I absolutely, positively will not talk about how Jeng has spent most of the show with a vertical line between him and Pat, and Put spent most of Episode 7 with vertical lines keeping him out of Pat’s world, and now that Pat and Jeng are an item, they are sitting together inside double barriers, boxing themselves in having a discussion on cruelty because they are still in the phase of their relationship where the two of them are in their own little world and hiding from the world at lar... FUCK I talked about the barriers) 

ANYWAY, I absolutely will not talk any more about the barriers and will instead begin my descent into madness in the form of The Proffering of the Hand. 

The build up to this moment starts when Jeng and Pat settle down to talk. They are sitting as close together as they can be without physically touching, they are openly flirting, they are making prolonged eye contact. Basically, they are being very obviously gooey, and the community member who appears to be the closest to Jeng (this is the person who hugged Jeng when he arrived) comes up to him and Pat, and points out the drawing that he made and the similarities he sees between that drawing and the two of them. 

The drawing is two stick figures of an undetermined gender (or if you want to read it this way, of a visually similar build [ie both people have triangle chests and short hair, no obvious breast tissue, no differentiation in color, they their faces are a little different but they are nearly identical] so you could call this a drawing of a same sex couple and it wouldn’t be wildly off-base, especially not with the original artist here telling Jeng and Pat they look like the drawing). For the sake of making me feel even stronger about my love for this scene, lets say this is a drawing of a same sex couple. 

Now the two lines this person says to Jeng and Pat are particularly striking to me: 

“This picture was drawn by me, you look the same” 

“It looks like us.”

Both of these lines are said by the artist. You can interpret that “it looks like us” line however you want to, but baby that’s queer to me. 

The artist walks away, leaving Jeng smiling softly to himself, thinking about it for approximately three seconds and then proffering his hand. 

Now, Jeng and Pat have not…how you say….been particularly careful about maintaining appropriate distances from each other anywhere since they started jumping each other for sport, but the touches they give to each other in the workplace are secret, are hidden. Hands held between them on the computer in a cubicle where no one can see, arms pressed up against each other so they can be mistaken for just being cramped, footsie under the table away from prying eyes. 

Here, now, is the first time since they got together that Jeng overtly, publicly extends a hand to Pat in a move that cannot be mistaken as anything but romantic. Pat is, rightfully all things considered, a little apprehensive. 

“What is it?” he asks “It’s like the picture that he drew,” with a smile and a soft nod to his hand.

Pat’s brow furrows, he looks to his right, where the people they visited are sitting, he looks to the left his eyes scanning for any other potential witnesses. Pat, who has been the person consistently approaching this relationship with the most caution, is initially hesitant to take Jeng’s hand; Is initially hesitant to confirm their relationship to one another with other people around. 

“No, people will see”

“No one will see” Jeng says, and I want to make it clear here that this is not a situation where Jeng is saying that the unhoused folks sitting nearby aren’t people. 

I interpret it more as there is no one around who would be unsafe for us to be visible to. 

Pat takes Jeng’s hand. Right here, out in the open, with people around him, he takes Pat’s hand in his outside of their houses, outside of Jeng’s car, outside. Outside. OUTSIDE. 

So why is this such a monumental occasion for me? 

I feel like I always say this, so eventually I have to make it happen, that I need to familiarize myself more with Thai social issues, because  I don’t know much about Thai homelessness, and which populations of people are disproportionately represented there. So when I saw this scene, the only way I could approach it was with a Western lens. And  I am comfortable running with my thoughts here using that Western lens because Pat references American homelessness in his conversion with Jeng. 

Which means, dear readers…

The first thing that came to mind for me when Jeng and Pat were visibly queer here was the disproportionate rates of homelessness in the queer community in the United States. 

Let me give you some quick (and very unfun) stats about homelessness and queerness in the United States:

40% of homeless youth are queer

Queer youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness than non-queer youth 

In one survey, researchers found: 

8% of transgender adults surveyed had experienced homelessness in the past 12 months

3% of cisgender queer adults surveyed had experienced homelessness in the past 12 months 

1% of cisgender heterosexual adults surveyed had experienced homelessness in the past 12 months. 

All this to say, that there are close ties between queer people and homelessness. 

And there is something extremely, extremely powerful in Tee and co. recognizing and affirming that queer people can be safer sharing space with homeless people than they might be sharing space with salarymen at a corporate office. 

For a number of reasons, Pat and Jeng cannot come out at the office, even if that closet is glass. In huge part because a boss and subordinate relationship is a gross imbalance of power, but also because homophobia is rampant in that office. We saw it all the way in the beginning of the show, when Pat was asked if he was a top or bottom. We see it now, when Pat is overhearing his colleagues, his coworkers, that spent the beginning of his time at this office exploiting him to do their labor, saying awful, gross, disgusting shit about him and to him. 

“I didn’t think he’d be working on his knees” 

“Lick until you get your bonus”  These are things Pat is seeing, Pat is hearing in this place full of “people contributing to the betterment of society”, people who have stable housing, and cash to spare, and food to eat. People who aren’t looked down upon by society, people who reflect society’s current ideals and mindsets. The other queer people in the office clocked Jeng immediately, but Pat didn’t and neither did any of the straight employees in the office until Pat and Jeng started hanging around

each other more unable to turn off their heart eyes. Because Jeng is in a position of power, he dresses in traditionally professional clothing every day. Collared shirt of mild color, suit, tie, brown loafers. Compare him to Chot or Pat and you can see how Jeng blends in as straight to people who aren’t trained to clock that shit. Look at Jeng when he’s out of the office and hanging out around Pat, he is in denim, he is in white tank tops, he is wearing a chain. Jeng is putting armor on when he goes to the office. Pat and Chot don’t have that luxury. 

And as a result, Pat and Jeng can only be out and open at home. Until now. Until this moment.

Step by Step definitively established in this one scene, in under FOUR MINUTES that Jeng and Pat, two queer men were made to feel comfortable enough and free enough in this place in this space around people who are often villainized, who are often deprived of human rights, people who are often seen as deserving of their poverty and the treatment they get from others as a result, people who are frequently spoken about as being a negative impact on society (WHICH IS BULLSHIT BY THE WAY HOLY FU- *I am forcibly removed from my pedestal*) because queer people are often villainized, deprived of human rights, seen as deserving of the terrible treatment that they get, and are frequently spoken about as being a negative impact on society. 

And considering the statistics on how many homeless youth are queer, there is something to be said for the way the person who appears the youngest, or who at least is acting the youngest, is the person who initiates the interaction that signals to Jeng that they are safe here. That helps Jeng and Pat realize they can engage in a public display of affection here amongst people who understand. 

And that is one hell of a fucking statement to make if I do say so myself. 

Side Note 1: I was already leaning towards this show being a For, By, and About Queers show. This scene solidified that for me. 

Side Note 2: I am thinking about the BL trope of the BL Bridge, I think this was something that @absolutebl wrote about once, but please correct me if I am wrong. If you are new to BL or otherwise unfamiliar with the trope, it is essentially just a repeated theme in multiple BL shows where one of the couples kisses in front of famous bridges in Bangkok. It is notable that in a show like this that is For, By, and About Queers (and boy do I have more thoughts on when and where and how the connection between Jeng and Pat deepens over the last couple episodes in relation to the workplace and homophobia (see @bengiyo’s quick thoughts which will hopefully become bigger thoughts on queer people and corporate culture)) that Jeng and Pat’s first openly public display of affection happens not on the surface, not lit up by bridge lights, not where the whole world can see them. But underneath a bridge, hidden away with the rest of the people that society has shunned, looked down upon, dehumanized, ignored, and failed to support. 

(tagging @neuroticbookworm who is waiting patiently and @waitmyturtles because if I know one person on this website who is gonna add something incredible to a discussion of homelessness in this scene, it's gonna be my bestie.)

[emmettland]

Milk Boy AU post lab whump thoughts

CW: dehumanization, carewhumper exploiting whumpee, dehumanized whumpee further dehumanized by society, mobster caretaker, immoral caretaker, immoral whumpee, test subject whumpee, forced institutionalization, forced corrective surgery

after nineteen years of being in operation, the milk lab is finally put under investigation, determined to be extremely unethical and in violation of multiple laws, and is shut down. David is one of the many employees to be imprisoned, facing a life sentence for the atrocities that he took part in.

which leaves Logan, the lab's loyal milk boy, with nothing.

the government attempts to put Logan in a mental hospital, but nobody knows how to deal with something like this. half of them aren't even sure if Logan is a person, since he looks like...that.

against his will (though it's really just his conditioning), Logan is forced to undergo corrective surgery that removes the extra pair of breasts and milk-producing glands in his organs. aside from some surgery scars, he looks...normal. like every other human.

but he feels nothing like one. nineteen years of being a test subject, of having only one purpose, and Logan has no idea how to be a person. and now that he can no longer fulfil his purpose, why is he even still alive? does his 'family' plan on rescuing him from these awful people telling him how fucked up he is? is this all just a test?

the other residents are freaked out by him, don't know how to treat him. the staff feels sorry for him, but at a loss of how to help. Logan becomes increasingly volatile and violent, to a point where he needs to be kept restrained and sedated for most of the time. most of the staff deems him beyond help, wondering if it would be more merciful to just end him.

Dr. Cassius Helven is called in. as an expert on severe trauma and abnormal psychology, Cassius is granted by the government to take Logan home with him and conduct his treatment there. unlike the mental hospital, Cassius coaxes Logan in with familiarity; treating him like a pet, giving him a schedule, letting Logan fall into a routine without having to interact with others or 'be a person'.

Cassius makes a huge amount of progress with Logan. he teaches Logan basic reading and writing, important life skills, things that will help foster his independence. he encourages Logan's curiosity, lets him explore the world and realize that it's so, so much more than the lab he called home. he helps Logan want to become a person.

because Logan is Cassius' success story.

the fame and fortune that Cassius amasses is extraordinary, and why wouldn't it be? Logan is an entirely unique case study, given what he went through. whereas others failed with him, Cassius succeeded, making an excellent reputation for himself and his career. it thrust Logan into the spotlight as well -- not as the genius who figured out how to treat a former test subject, but as the pitiful test subject. even when Logan wants to be a person now, society refuses to see him as such. he'll always just be the milk boy. the 'human cow'. the freak.

Logan wants to move out of Cassius' home, wants to get away from the media. but how can he? Cassius has done so much for him, and he reminds Logan of that whenever he wants to say no to him, for anything. it's a new form of cruelty for Logan; learning how to say no, and then not being able to.

inevitably, public opinion splits. now there are people saying that Logan should be freed, not kept as a case study, as a spectacle. and there's a significant number of people with significant connections who are backing the Liberate Logan movement.

Cassius tries moving homes, tries keeping Logan hidden, but it's his own teachings that do him in. while showing Logan how to use electronics, Logan discovered he has a passion for them, and had been studying them intensely. he finds a way to bypass the controls Cassius put on his computer and get onto the internet, where he reveals the address of Cassius' new home.

the protesters move in. they stand outside during the day with their signs and chants, getting plenty of media coverage and annoying Cassius. but at night, things escalate. someone throws a brick at one of the windows. a mob breaks out. a whole swarm of people with their own reasons, all uniting under one cause. stop Cassius.

Logan escapes in the chaos. Cassius suffers a few minor injuries, but nothing more. it's the protesters that get brutalized the most.

Logan has nowhere to go. for all that he's learned, he has no idea how to live on his own, still struggles to take care of himself. everything is hard, and painful, and overwhelming. his bare feet hurt on the sidewalk. he shivers from the cold. he misses Cassius' bed.

he ends up curled up in an alley, drifting off from exhaustion, when a gunshot startles him. Logan isn't quite sure what the sound is. but when a man comes walking down the alley, blood splattered on his face and clothes, Logan recognizes the blood. it's obviously not coming from the man, it's someone else's.

but of course, being raised how he was, violence and murder don't phase Logan one bit. as the man soon realizes when he sees Logan there, staring up at him curiously. he recognizes Logan from the press; impossible not to when he's the media's favorite topic.

it's unprofessional and dangerous to leave witnesses. but Derek really doesn't want to kill the poor thing. he asks Logan if he's lost and Logan says no, he doesn't want to be with Cassius anymore. Derek asks if he has anywhere to go. Logan says no; he was hoping to find an unpopulated area, somewhere with no humans. he's starting to realize that his 'family' was right; he's not human at all. Logan doesn't think he likes humans very much.

Derek agrees. he also doesn't like humans very much, and reassures Logan that he isn't one. Logan is confused, asks what Derek is then.

"A monster," Derek says with a smile. "Or so I've been told."

monster. that's a new word for Logan. he's heard people call Cassius one, but Cassius insists that they're lying. that's good. he wouldn't trust Derek if Cassius was a monster too.

"I don't know if I'm a monster," Logan says. "They call me a freak."

"Hmm. That's a different type of monster."

"Oh. What type are you?"

and really, this seems like the best solution to Derek. no witnesses. the young man clearly doesn't know right from wrong, and if Derek takes him in and hides him from the media, nobody will be able to question him. hell, he could fake Logan's death just to make sure nobody goes looking for him.

so it makes all the sense in the world to ask:

"Would you like to find out?"

[ionlybleedbubbles]

Writing tips deep in my heaps of cringe, that are actually good (imo) :

When writing in third person, don't say what a character cannot do while talking from their perspective. Frame the idea by telling us what they can do, or through the opinion of other characters. For eg. Instead of saying "Mattie was bad at flying planes", say "Mattie preferred cars to planes, and would much rather his brother do the plane-flying." See? Now you've even managed to drop in a nod about his brother. You could also say, "Kevin felt safer when Mattie's brother flew the plane than when Mattie did." Put the blame on Kevin - don't judge Mattie yourself. As a narrator you must pretend to always be on your MCs' side. Ofc, this would vary with different styles of narration, but this is a general rule.

Show how important a character is by how much time you take to talk about them. You would describe your MCs well, and bring up their hobbies and interests. You wouldn't describe a background character as much. You can use this to humanize or dehumanize characters. You may initially talk very little about the main villain yourself, and rely on dialogue among the other characters. This makes the villain feel like a force rather than a person. As the story progresses though, and you decide you want to drop in a *hairflips dramatically* sad back story, you can humanize the villain, and make them more understandable as a person.

Learn from art. Try describing different sceneries or portraits as practice. Also practice writing comic books or manga as stories. Visualizing your story as comic or manga panels can really help you understand pacing and paragraphs. Take note of their vibrance and positioning.

Learn from people's mannerisms and how they are received by other people. For eg, when we ask my dad a question, he pauses to gather his thoughts before speaking. Out of respect, we wait silently during this pause. This shows how confident and charismatic my dad is. A friend of mine only verbally roasts people within our friend group, and apologizes profusely after. This shows she is both empathetic and extremely quick-witted. I could create well rounded characters based on just examples as simple as these.

This tip is what I like to call 'the fake solution' and is employed by many famous authors. For this, you force readers to make assumptions. Maybe about how the magic system works, or about who the villain is. Make it seem like the characters have come to a conclusion and that conclusion is the final solution to conflict. Then tear down those assumptions and create a whole other ending. Similar to the red herring, except this time it's all in the characters' heads and dialogue. Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy is a good example of playing with assumptions forced upon readers by the writer.

In your first chapter, focus on creating potential. You don't have to jump into the heart of the action right away, but you have to make sure your readers understand the potential for this action. For example the opening chapter of Maggie Stiefvater's Raven Boys is relatively low paced, but it leaves you with questions. It makes you wonder who the boy who talked to Blue is, and how Blue will deal with life after such a strange prophecy. This makes you need to continue reading, to find answers.

For good worldbuilding, study at least a little bit of history. Wars and military tricks make for good free prompts. If your world contains vibrant races, make sure you research and incorporate the history and implications of racism, social hierarchy and trade. Understand how this will impact travellers and mercenaries (audiences love those). Make up your own old wives' tales and coping mechanisms.

Understand that the best stories are written around an idea rather than a character. Your protagonist is simply the face of your story. The weather of the world reflects on the protagonist's choices and health. Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games focuses on the dark side of media and politics and how they are used to control a people. Notice that by the third book, Katniss, our protagonist, is doing very little herself, though her few moments are loud and powerful. Katniss could achieve nothing alone. It takes a whole bunch of people to fuel the revolution. Note that it is completely okay to write a character based story, if that's what you like. But there are tons of those. If you really want to make an impact, make an idea-based story.

Respect all your characters equally. You may love some characters more than others, but remember all your characters are representatives of people. Make sure each of them has a voice and a chance to prove themselves.

Use prose to your advantage. Let the length of your sentence define whether the sequence is fast paced or slow. For example, if your want to show surprise, your sentences must be short. Instead of saying "She snatched the last dagger and stared at it, observing each engraving", say " She snatched up the last dagger. Each engraving was sick, gnarled. "

That was a heck of a long post, but that's all from me. Feel free to add your own or contradict anything I've written.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

You did Jasper and Alice swap bodies

What if they swapped gift?

Anon's referring to this post.

Now we're talking.

Oh man, are we talking.

Alice, Jasper, and Their Gifts

The thing about Alice and Jasper is that who they are is highly dependent on their gifts, especially Alice.

Alice has no memories of being human, she woke up one day as a vampire, and it was her visions and the hope that she would one day join the Cullens, have a mate, and a wonderful family that kept her going.

Not only that, but she cannot remember a time without them. Alice's every decision, every thought, every action she takes is informed by the visions she sees. We see her in canon (both in Twilight and Midnight Sun) move about her life in an oddly impersonal manner as her every action is reactionary to what others will do in response. As a result, this dehumanizes those around her, even her beloved family, as she starts interacting with them in ways to get her what she wants rather than seeing them as sentient beings in charge of their own choices.

Alice relies on her gift for big things, such as the Eclipse debacle, to little things such as planning Jasper's birthday gifts or seeing what he'll get her. When she can't use her gift, around the wolves and Renesmee, she's actively distressed (granted for good reason as those were high stakes times) but shows how much she relies on it.

Jasper isn't quite as dependent on his but it is a fundamental reason of why he at least initially pursued the diet (Edward argues Jasper does the diet primarily for Alice but we see it as him having had initially no choice). Jasper's gift effectively dog collared him and forced him onto this path that, per his history, he otherwise never would have taken. We also do see him make occasional, casual, use of it to defuse arguments, strip Carlisle of his morals apparently to make the man steal a car and knock out a woman, and knock Bella out. It's nothing close to Alice, though, the gift doesn't define him and for a while he didn't even realize he had it, not until he left Maria.

All this to say, their gifts are important.

They Swap

Alice is now blind all the time. This is much worse than the shifters and Renesmee, where she knows its temporary. Her gift is actively gone. I imagine Alice panics and suspects foul play, the Volturi must have somehow stripped her of her gift. When it becomes clear Jasper now has it, she assumes they guinea pigged on the Cullens and... uh... messed up and gave her very useful gift to Jasper who is also a Cullen instead of to Caius or something.

So, Alice is panicking, Edward's also sounding the alarm, and the Cullen houeshold is a hive of anxiety. However, you also have Alice trying to get by in her daily life and getting increasingly frustrated and terrified that she can't see anything.

She no longer knows who might slip, when strangers will pop in, or even small things like if someone will really like the gift she bought them. Alice will be shocked to discover that she doesn't actually know these people that well, without being able to sift through their future decisions, she has to guess what they'll do and I imagine her guesses are often wrong for the same reason that Edward seems to be terrible at reading people: she's too reliant on her gift.

Alice feels like a stranger to her own family as a result and Jasper's gift making her feel everyone's emotions is not helping her stress levels. Alice ends up unintentionally making everyone angry and terrified as her emotions leak to them.

Jasper, on the other hand, is now witness to all the horrible things the Cullens (looking at you, Edward) think of doing but don't actually do. Jasper is now playing the role of the voyeur he never wanted to in a way he may have suspected at times but never suspected the full brunt of. Jasper has to try to navigate who everyone around him really is, are they only the choices they actually end up making, or also these other futures of choices they consider but don't take.

Add onto this Edward loathing being spied on by Jasper and you've got a hot, hot, awful mess that makes everybody miserable.

I imagine Jasper, feeling like the root of most of the drama, ends up taking a vacation and promising to call if he sees them being confronted by the Volturi. Alice is torn between going with him and staying and terrified something might happen to the family without her knowing if she leaves (and same to Jasper if he leaves and she doesn't follow).

[aihoshiino]

chapter 132 thoughts!

I FORGOT WE WERE GETTING THE CHAPTER THIS EARLY. OSHI NO JUMPSCARE!!

All joking aside, seeing some of this new movie material is very interesting. Given her focus on smiles, I wonder if Nino is at all inspired by the similarly named Nico from Love Live?

And holy crap, it's the real Takamine and Nino! Seeing them here was a bit of a surprise but it does sew up some internal logic that some folks had been questioning for a while - such as the fact that you, uh, can't make a movie about real people without their permission! This seems to confirm that the B-Komachi members included in the movie, at least, were fine with their portrayal even with it being relatively negative. Indeed, Takamine seems to be taking things in good humor even if her bossiness hasn't gone anywhere in the intervening years…

That said, I think this does highlight one of the emerging issues of the Movie Arc which is just that things are feeling so… truncated, I guess. Given that OnK is supposed to be about the entertainment industry and how closely it has focused on this sort of behind the scenes technical stuff, it feels really weird that we're just blasting past anything that could be inconvenient or slow down the filming even if it would be interesting to see. Like, how did Himekawa feel about this script, that portrays his mother (presumably) as a child abuser? Was there any legal red tape involve in portraying these real people? What did the old B-Komachi think about this movie proposal? It's just weird that we're not getting any focus on these sorts of details when they're otherwise Onk's bread and butter,

And speaking of things that feel weird… is it just me or is it kind of bizarre to see the twins having such a lowkey, understated conversation? This is the first time they've had an extended on screen exchange since the big reveal and it's kind of… nothing. In general, there has been a really baffling lack of focus on Aqua with regards to Ruby in the last chunk of chapters (seriously, no reaction at all to Ai!Ruby?? For real???) and Ruby similarly was in such a loved up haze about him it's weird to see her being so chilled out.

That said… Ruby calling him 'Sensei' is interesting. It confirms more or less that she is essentially projecting/overriding Aqua with Gorou and seeing him entirely as the latter and I can't help but wonder if our relative lack of insight into Aqua's thoughts and feelings since this reveal dropped are because he's having a very different set of emotions to this recontextualization of their dynamic than Ruby would like…

Moving on to Kana and Nino, I think this is a super interesting conversation for a whole lot of reasons I'll get into shortly but mostly for how it characterizes Kana and the KanKane rivalry in contrast to Nino and B-Komachi. To paraphrase a friend, the main tension that fuels KanKane's animosity towards each other is the pedestal Akane put Kana up when she was young and the way she continues to characterize Kana largely only in relation to that pedestal, whether she's on or off it. Akane has not, however, fallen as far as the B-Komachi members and in turn, Kana refuses to do the same. Regardless of her idolization of Kana, Akane acknowledges her as a rival who can be beaten — and therefore, implicitly, a flawed human. That the two of them can have victories and losses in their relationship means they recognize each other as equals. And as Nino puts it, that simply didn't exist in B-Komachi because 'nobody could rival Ai'. The process of idolization is also a process of dehumanization.

And this process, IMO, reveals something incredibly exciting I've been wondering for months. This chapter almost without a doubt confirms Nino as the narrator of 45510, one of the canon short stories written by Aka. The tangle of hatred, desire, jealousy, admiration, animosity and idolization are all things expressed both by Nino and the 45510 narrator who we know to be one of the founding B-Komachi members. Not only that, but her destructive vindictiveness towards anything that could tarnish her image of the perfect idol, Ai, as expressed in 45510 also surfaces here… but I'm getting ahead of myself.

evil gay women huge w miss nino i'm free thursday night and would like to hang out please respond to th

The moment between Ruby-as-Ai and Nino is both sweet and a little disconcerting for a variety of reasons. Ruby's intentions here are undeniably kind and it was, ironically, incredible like Ai of her to see someone in pain and immediately decide she wanted to reach out and do her best to help. Even so, it's a little eerie to see Ruby so confidently put words in Ai's mouth when we ourselves know just how deeply Ai was hurt by the animosity thrown her way by the other girls.

And Nino… whoa boy.

This exchange more than anything else confirms 100% for me that Nino is the 45510 narrator. Her disgust and immediate rejection of Ai's humanity and the possibility that she could be vulnerable and hurt is exactly the same as the one that leads the 45510 narrator to delete Ai's final cry for help. She clings to the image of Ai's perfection in her mind, unable to conceptualize her as anything other than a shining, invincible, untouchable goddess because then she might have to take responsibility for the fact that Ai was just a human who was in pain and that Nino exacerbated that pain.

thank god kana is here to say what we're all thinking. she's right, too. gen 1 b-komachi is a freakshow and i don't respect literally any of these people

And the last page…

I honestly don't know what to make of it, really. It's exciting to see Hikaru potentially finally getting involved in the story and to confirm a connection between him and Nino. This raises a whole armada's worth of flags about her involvement in and knowledge of the events that lead to Ai's murder but with so little info to go on, it's hard to make a guess either way. It's also, admittedly, a little hard to get too excited about this just because the manga has been so unfocused lately, bouncing around from topic to topic and even things that seem to be gearing up to have a major impact on the story and characters have just breezed by without any long term changes. I hope that this means the movie arc is finally really getting into gear but… man, I don't think I'll know what to make of it until we're on the other side and can review it in hindsight.

[iheartfrogs1904]

MONSTERS IN MEDIA

I watched this video essay talking about the sympathy for monsters. I didn’t realize that when people were kids they never felt bad for the dragon that would be ‘slayed’ in those children books yk. I feel like especially with this generation people are being taught more empathy like with stories like shrek (ya I did use it as an example like don’t even) where the ‘monster’ is a character who deserves empathy, like shrek. Like he literally just vibes in his swamp and people hate on him, I see in a lot of monster stories it’s there’s always an element of the monsters being invaded, even when you supposed to root for the invader(humans) which is find really fascinating. Like in the back of our minds when creating stories like this there’s always an element of humans invading or the monster being a “living obstacle” (Curious Archive (n.d.) Sympathy for the Monster). Curious archive also brought up a point that I never noticed, that when the monsters are shown to be on the ‘good’ side or sympathetic too they go up against an alien, a different type of monster. He mentioned colonialism in the YouTube video as well and it made me wonder like why these monsters need to go up against something otherworldly to show that they are worthy of sympathy from the other side, I’m referring mostly to Kaiju(mainly Godzilla) at this moment. Even in these stories they emphasize that humans are somehow separate from the “natural” order and the monster is there to protect it or the other way around, there is never the message of both should exist together without the existence of another monster threat to both sides. It is that colonial mindset that we are separated from nature that I think these tropes stem from, which makes sense especially with Kaiju when looking at the origins of it. Why does there need to be a side of humans vs monsters/nature instead of humans learning to be with monsters/nature again? That’s also why shrek is good because he helps the other animals in the forest and helps Fiona be herself which I really love :). Another take on sympathy for the monster is how we looks at marginalized people, like in Guillermo del toros movie the shape of water. I love the portrayal of how the monster is as an actual being and not just a crazy fish guy, and ya the main girl does get with him but it’s the way he understands what it is like for her in a world that at the time (and still today honestly) didn’t accept or care about disabled people, you can see in the other two supporting characters they are also marginalized as well and it makes sense why they were the ones to help fish guy n the main girl escape, because they too understood what it was like to be perceived as an other in their society. This trope doesn’t even have to apply to monsters specifically and just the “bad” side in general in stories as you can see time and time again a lot of villains are made to be disabled or marginalized which again is why I love the shape of water, shrek and also megamind too because they subvert these tropes, humanizing these dehumanized characters and actually respecting them in their story as people and not just as a “living obstacle”.

I DEFINITELY RECOMMEND WATCHING CURIOUS ARCHIVES VIDEO SYMPATHY FOR THE MONSTERS because he voiced everything I thought and more in that video :).

[kiameicore]

KINKTOBER DAY 1 w SAGAU Xiao

FIRST DAY OF KINKTOBER, YAY!!! tbh, I thought I was late since some people already started posting lmao. I couldn't help it really, the urge to make sagau xiao smut was too much for me lol. Thanks to my precious pookie bear, for giving me ideas for first day of kinktober ! ! ~~ ♡

TW's: SAGAU, NSFW, Yandere behavior, Creator x acolyte theme ig, Fem!Creator (sorry, i'm not good at making reader gn or male, but i'll work on it!♡), Breeding, Bondage, Religious themes, kinda manipulation, sub!Xiao mostly, dehumanizing, pet names, mentions about slavery, and a lot of more mostly xiao getting shitty treatment but in NSFW way, idk how to put it LMAO).

I hope it'll come out good, since i literally don't know anything about NSFW actually. Sorry for any mistakes or other errors, feel free to correct me.

(Finding good images took me more time than writing this)

Cold night air flew trough opened window. It didn't matter that the brezze could freeze people to the bone, because actions inside palace temple made up for it.

Heavy breaths filled the shrine. Laying adeptus in bed tried to calm himself and aggressive panting that sometimes come out from his mouth. His limps were tied up by holy chains, thightly putting him in his place. Skin reddened from the impact they caused, in some places even blood would appear.

But it didn't matter.

He didn't care about it, as long as it was his God causing it.

" My, Xiao, you're finally tired?" you cooed at him. Seeing adeptus that fought in war and killed a lot of gods and humans on your bed was entertaining. He looked utterly pathetic.

At your words young man tried to stand up forgeting about chains. Small whimper filled the room. Sudden movement caused bondages to thighten even more causing pain. Yes, he wasn't a mere human being. He was strong. But since the bondages that occupied his body weren't some normal rope, it was hard to escape from them. After all, the Creator is the strongest being in the universe. It would be such a shame, if the chains they created would break that easily.

" n-NO! I'M NOT, YOUR GRACE!" he yelled, almost like he have forgette who's he's talking to.

" Really? In my opinion, you look tired. Also, stop moving. You'll hurt yourself even more. There's no escaping from me or my ropes."

You walked toward him slowly. You were bored at this point. It's not fun at all. You remembered his words:

" Your Grace, i'm at your display. I'll do anything"

well, you wondered if he knew what was about to come, would he still agree?

Even if, you didn't care.

The walk stoped when you were face to face with him. Sweat covered his forehead, eyes half lidded. When he saw you this close, he felt something in his throat. You were utterly magnificent. You touched his cheek in such lovely way, he almost saw stars.

Tracing your finger lower, stopping at his throat. For a moment, his breathing hitched. Your precious skin, touching him out of your own will? Truly beautiful!

" Your Highness... please, touch me" He viewed himself as sinner at that moment. Actually this situation didn't need to happen and yet he still would view himself in that way. His sins from past, he wasn't even worth your glances, he-

" Xiao, my dear, I have an important task for you." After he blinked, he found yourself sitting on his abdomen. " I'm pretty sure you can do it, right? You said you would do everything for me " With every word your face was closer to his. Simple actions for you, but not for him. Huh, He looks so frightened.

Putting your hands on his chest, trying to find a better position you feel something.

" I want you to breed me, Xiao" you finally said not caring about the impact these words caused. Poor boy.

" E-excuse me, Your Grace?!"

In moment the chains dissapeared, freeing red faced adeptus. Pinning your hands above your head, he felt himself becoming alive. For a moment you were concerned you killed him and he was about to join his friends, but no. Your words bring so much hapiness to him. He could even do flips!

His eyes wandered from your gorgeous face to your chest. If Rex Lapis saw him now, he would probably regret saving this poor boy. Well, he respected his master but he's not going to share your holy booba with an oldass like him. No fucking way. You don't need someone slow and old like him. Like, come on. Who listens to his speech? He's too boring for you. In Xiao's opinion you need someone who's more modern and doesn't talk too much, you're a busy person. Also speed is something he's blessed with. If you didn't want him, you wouldn't make him stronger and faster. And oh boy, he's going to use this skill in the best way possible.

His grip on your hands thighended even more with the thought of you fully fucked on his cock.

He positioned himself at your entertance while looking at your face for any hints of discomfort. Your face was unchanged, giving him approval to continue. Slowly, he pushed himself into you.

Feeling your walls squezing him a little he moaned softly. He was in heaven. Litteraly.

Slow movements turned into faster ones.

" Xiao, what are you doing? I told you to breed me not to sway me. I didn't know Morax's adeptis have problems with hearing." You slandered poor boy, giving him a squeze on his cheekbutt.

Sloppy thrusts made Xiao see stars. He was screaming his lungs out from the pleasure.

" I'll breed you, Your Highness!" his moans echoed through the room. The images of you with his bird like kids motivated him to continue his actions.

He flipped you so he could face your back. You looked back at him to see his expressions. Tongue loled out, drool slowly dripping to his chin and eyes half lidded.

His hands landed on your hips bringing you closer to him.

After he sped up his thursts, Xiao started felling things in abdomen. One hand flew to your neck.

" X- Xiao?! What are you-" you didn't end your sentence when you felt his hot breath on your neck and his teeth bitting into your skin.

"M-my Goddess, I think I'm about to cum". he stuttered out while burying his face into your back.

He didn't expect to cum so easily but since he never touched anyone before he's inexperienced and you saw it coming.

white stinky liquid shoted out from his cock into your hole filling you internally. Small body started to shake from his orgasm again taking his breath back.

His body collapsed onto yours. He was exhausted.

" Darling, I think you forgot about someone"

"One time won't make me pregnant, honey. Don't worry, you can atone for making this disgusting sin!"

" After all, you can't deny your God, right?"

You were right. He promised to give himself fully to you and he never broke his promises.

Xiao is definitley one of the most devoted acolytes of yours, after Morax. But this is not about him.

OKAY, THAT WAS BAD AND I'M TIRED.

i don't know if i'll make another one for day 2 tho. There's a lot of mistakes but i'll correct them after my nap lmao

hope you enjoyed it and uhhhh tell me if it's too dry ( i feel like its it and i want to improve on some things).

Thank you!