#...which is similar to the type 5 demos being. yeah

[turoce]

it's so much fun writing an Interloper AU for my fandragon tee hee

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

i think i saw you talk about picayune a bit on your twitter! i was wondering about it if you’re willing to give your thoughts. i heard it was similar to that one game that’s called the void rains upon her heart, at least from a friend of mine.

hi anonymous; although i say i could gush about it: i mostly said everything i:d want to on the twitter already, but yeah: i love it, it:s a sneaky "top game of the year" for me, i think, and is one of those passion-projects (?) that just feels as though it carries with it a-lot of love for game design and just the act of creating games; i:d put it like this: i really enjoy survivors-type games because they:re dopamine-traps that just give me skinners-box gratification when i:m struggling to get through a day, but as a genre the games are very formulaic and usually seem like they:re 1) cynically made because the formula is hot + can make some easy cash for little effort since the game-design aspect is just laid out like clean providence 2) made a little more earnestly but usually for a developer as an exercise which happens to also be probably decently lucrative -- and both of these prior points lead to pretty stale experiences, but dopamine-trap experiences that i like all-the-same, as-well: due to me just not having a lot of money outside of my weekly grocery budget, i don:t really let myself spend money on non-grocery things, so: looking @ picayune dreams i was hit with this mix of "this looks awesome" and "i know this formula and the gloss is just going to be another stale 100% achievement grind that:ll eat up my time but leave me mad at myself for wasting $5 when i need groceries" -- but it had a demo, and (happily) the demo betrayed my cynicism and just oozed with sincerity on behalf of the developers, so: i bought it.

it:s a very good blend of shmup/bullet-hell type gameplay and the standard survivors-genre, and although i don:t think it:s the best gameplay in either genre, the experience as one whole is executed perfectly for what it is: it unfolds and never seems lazy in its effort or gameplay; the obtuse mechanics are fun to figure out; the story segments (while super iterative of yume nikki type rpgmaker stuff) have this razor-sharp conciseness for the vibe it wants you to feel that i really enjoy (it reminds me of scientology, archangel:nemesis in a weird way: because the breadth of the plot centers around being selected to save a humanity that is trapped down here on earth, sort-of indifferent to your mission -- and i think it creates this plot really beautifully despite using very little words or demanding a lot of your time (<- this point here is key for me, cause i have northernlion syndrome of nearly no-longer having patience for games that want me to stare at some story for a long time, or hit you with tutorials before gameplay, or whatever: picayune dreams just goes and trusts you to figure it out)).

i haven:t played it much lately, cause (if it had one fault, which is more just my user-experience than the devs) the runs can get to be longer than i have patience for (you can loop and at this point you:re getting close to an hour run), so i end up self-destructing when i get bored;

i:d encourage anyone to give the demo a try, or just look at the steam-page and take in the art direction -- it:s a game that probably won:t let you down if it even /slightly/ looks interesting to you, & i still feel a rush of goosebumps when the final song comes in during the last boss; it:s just solid (void rains upon her heart is another one of these great games for me but i 100%'d it earlier in the year and have just been waiting for the dev to add more content; that:s another game that i think more people should give love to because it blends shmup+roguelite formula better than any other attempt i:ve played and also never really let my expectations as a player down as i trusted it to unfold with content and excitement -- because that:s what i like about this trend of roguelite/meta-progression in games: games that use these are like constantly wanting to award you with more because it:s like they are just so eager to spend time with you and don:t want to let you down (at the least cynical)).

at the moment though i:m just playing DCSS cause i:m back in a "everything feels pretty dull and colorless at the moment" spell -- but again: that:s why i love stuff like picayune dreams and sci-fi harry; occasionally stuff surprises you with its love, its passion, and you can:t help but let yourself be affected, and i like being affected.

take care.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

[suspiciouslyheterosexualbehavior]

TF2 classes rated by how well I’d do against them in a 1v1 fistfight

I woke up this morning feeling particularly arrogant and in my hubris I have decided to make a list where I completely accurately rate how well I’d do in a barehanded, no-weapons, classic caveman fisticuffs against the mercenaries. Let’s begin.

Scout: Were it not for Merasmus, this idiot would be the lowest on the food chain. He is spindly, and granted he is fast and can double jump, he probably weighs half as much as me. If I sat on this guy I’d win.

Final verdict: 0/10, I will break you like a biscuit, little boy

Soldier: This one’s all about strategy. There is no way I would win against a man that Rocket Jumps so regularly he probably uses it as a means to go to the grocery store in a completely fair fight. I seek to win, and so does he, and he might do it by snapping my neck like I’d snap Scout’s fragile ankles, and that means I’ll have to use my brain before he does so. If I tell him there’s something amazing behind him throughout the entire fight, he will fall for it every time, granting me victory.

Final verdict: 5/10, Really hope we’re gonna be wrestling around naked and covered in honey for this one

Pyro: Maybe I would avoid hurting a wonderful little frog like this if I wasn’t absolutely bathing in hubris as of right now, but since I am, I’ll tell you that I am looking at this one and I know I can win, so long I keep my language clean and don’t make fun of fire. Which is easy, since I love fire type Pokemon.

Final Verdict: 3/10, Just because everyone else is scared of you doesn’t mean I have to be

Demoman: Oh, this one might get tricky. Any idiot would think that as long as Demo is drunk, they can win, but Demo is always drunk, you fucking dumbass. Not a day goes by without him being absolutely wasted, and he has a canonically beautiful and romantic relationship with his liver, so waiting for him to die from liver failure won’t work either. Plus, this guy definitely has been in bar fights. He’s probably an expert on drunken fighting at this point. Though if I can make him fall asleep and forget why he was fighting me in the first place, I could probably win.

Final Verdict: 7/10, I can still win, especially if I also get wasted

Heavy: Yeah, listen. I’m pumped full of the kind of stuff that God-slaying anime protagonists bleed before the final boss battle. But Heavy? I can’t win. Sascha weighs several times my own weight, and this guy pulls her around all day like a fucking accessory bag. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll absolutely try to win, but my chances of Heavy continuously fucking up throughout the fight, as if God is rolling Nat 1s for his every check, are pretty low. He’s not even that stupid, so I can’t trick him more than once or twice. I’ll have one chance to go for his weak legs, because I know he skips leg day, but after that? If I haven’t felled him? I’m going to get thrown like a beach ball.

Final Verdict: 10/10, If I start crying maybe he’ll feel bad enough and let me win by default

Engineer: Now I am an Engineer main and simp, I really like this guy a lot, so entering a fight with nothing but out hands as weapons would, for most people, seem like a loss no matter what for me. Not so, idiots; I love fighting my beloved ones in an old-timey fashion, and it won’t change this time just because I happen to be in love with Mister Dell Cohnager. Engie is a laid-back nerd, so his strength, while heavily amplified by his mechanical hand, is lacking. On top of that, I’m 99% he’s a lot shorter than me, and since I’m a Jock, I will have a natural advantage over him in a fight. He unfortunately has an advantage over me by having a sexy Texan drawl and a deep voice, and if he smiles I might actually fucking die, so it’s a bit of a 50-50.

Final Verdict: 5/10, That helmet wont save you from these hands, but neither will my hands save me from that Cowboy Charm of yours

Sniper: While this man isn’t exactly incompetent, he’s still only right above Scout in regards to strength by my totally accurate calculations. He’s skinny, and most of the time he doesn’t even move around like Scout does, but pisses in a jar while waiting to shoot someone in the head from very far away. Since we’ll be going at it barehanded, I have an actual proper chance of decking this guy, and if I am feeling especially cruel, I can use his crippling depression against him to win by default. And I do feel cruel right now.

Final Verdict: 1/10, Get some therapy and come back to me for a rematch, buddy

Medic: As similar with Engineer, I do actually like this guy a bunch, but I don’t have a crush on him. Unfortunately, I’m a Tank main by heart, and while I don’t main Heavy, the urge to protect Healers from harm is stronger than my urge to hurt them. Should I somehow override this base instinct and become like those smelly little French backstabbers that feel no remorse at flaying Medics from behind, I might win against Medic in a fair fight. I wouldn’t know what to use against him psychologically, but I know he will be trying to do it to me. Whether it works or not is up to the unforgiving tides of fate.

Final Verdict: 4/10, I don’t know if I’ll feel great punching a guy with glasses, but Medic will be in Hell with me once we both die, so I can just apologize there

Spy: If I see a spy or suspect someone is one, I will maul them like a bear. I have something personal against them, yes, maybe because I’m an Engineer and Medic main, but that’s besides the point, really. I know I can absolutely win in a fight against this man, even if he had his watch and knife. Stab me in the back all you want, buddy, but I’m not stopping till either your kneecaps or your windpipe is crushed.

Final Verdict: 0/10, Fuck you I’m going to pee on your suit

[windblooms]

same anon 🤚🏻 I am v interested in your thoughts and opinions on Zhongli’s kits/gameplay

hi hi!  whew i might be typing a lot so i’ll post my thoughts under the cut.

warning: very long my fingers feel like they’re going to fall off

first and foremost: polearm characters have some of the lowest atk multipliers in the game.  

this is because of their high attack speed and reach: its a trade off, so their individual hits/attacks deal less damage than, say, a sword user. similarly to how a claymore user hits slow but hard.

automatically, you’re looking at poor normal/charged attack damage output from zhongli (ignoring his elemental skills for now, they’ll come up next) because of his weapon type.  i recommend comparing his multipliers over on honey impact if you need actual numbers.

okay, so what about 4 star characters like xiangling and fischl?  xiangling, a polearm user, and fischl, an archer, also have lower base normal/charged attack multipliers compared to sword and claymore characters.  what makes them so good?

this is where elemental skills come into play.

xiangling can summon gouba and fischl can summon oz.  both deal continuous/consistent damage over time and can be moved across the field at least by some distance.  fischl’s oz summons are more flexible than xiangling, and this makes her flexible in combat.

consider zhongli: he can summon a stele that also deals consistent damage over pulses.  that’s the same as xiangling and fischl, right?

no.

once more referencing honey impact: at its lowest rank (rank 1), the stele’s pulses deal 32% atk damage towards enemies in the stele’s range.  at talent level 7 (i choose 7 because it’s the most attainable towards most players at this time), its pulse damage multiplier is 48%.

at rank 1, gouba has a 112% atk multiplier per breath.  at rank 7, that multiplier becomes 166.92%.

at rank 1, oz has an 88% multiplier per attack.  at rank 7, it becomes 133%. 

not only does zhongli have lower normal attack multipliers than xiangling, but his other source of dps, his stele, doesn’t even match gouba’s.  yikes king. 

geo is an element that's made to be independent form the others.  it serves a niche role.

this one’s a bit obvious: you can have involved reactions with electro, hydro, pyro, etc, but geo was designed to be solitary.  geo’s only utility is to make or break shields.  it’s a defensive elemental reaction, compared to super-conduct, overload, etc, that deal extra damage. 

shields also don’t have numbers right now.  

super-conduct and overload display numbers when they deal numbers.  with shields, a regular player doesn’t know how much damage they’re being shielded from.  not on the health bar, or on the side of the screen.  

only within characters who can cast shields do these numbers show, and you have to go into their talents to view the numbers. 

what i’m saying: no one knows how good a shield is.  and this is only for characters who can cast shields.  if you pick up an elemental shard that grants a shield, you have no way of knowing how much damage it will absorb.

the community doesn’t place value in numbers they can’t access.  in genshin so far, the goal is to deal as much damage as possible or abandon domain.  inherently, shields are defensive.  but if we can’t compare their value to damage, then we don’t know how effective they are, and can’t determine how worth they are to invest in.

zhongli’s jade shield is advertised as op.  aight, cool.  but in a community that doesn’t know the value of shields, what purpose does it serve?  players immediately look towards his more engaging, aggressive capabilities, which are his normal, charged attacks, and stele resonance pulses, which we’ve already determined are lackluster.

it gets sooooo much better from here.

the issue with zhongli’s elemental burst and how he compares to other 5 star supports. 

the most flashy part of a character’s kit: their elemental burst.

damage go brrrrr.

lowest energy cost in the game, sitting at a flat 40, whereas fischl and xiangling’s energy costs sit at 60 and 80 respectively. 

looking at the numbers, the damage seems pretty solid (referencing the links above).  petrification also does wonders for the rest of your team so you can take your time to deal hits with normal attacks and your sweet stele – 

wait. 

oh, yeah, that’s right.  zhongli’s other damage sucks.

we’ve established that his normal/charged attacks and elemental skill (stele resonance damage) are not offensively reliable.

just now we’ve come to the oh-so pressing dilemma: once zhongli uses his elemental burst, what does he do?

nothing.

you switch him out to a more capable damage dealer before petrification wears off. 

zhongli’s kit steers him into the supportive role.  that’s fine.  5 star supports like venti and qiqi shine in their roles.  you can argue that venti’s usage is similar to how i’m describing zhongli’s: poor normal/charged attack damage, but his elemental burst does wonders.  

so what makes venti “good” or “s tier” whereas zhongli’s being pummeled into the dirt?

utility.

look at their character demos/teasers: venti’s elemental burst is narrated to “deal additional elemental damage.”  damage.  pulling enemies together.  

what about zhongli’s?  keeps them in place.  his elemental burst makes things easier for his team, but is outclassed by venti’s.  take another look at the numbers: the duration that enemies are stuck in venti’s storm is 8 seconds at all ranks.  zhongli’s petrification lasts 4 seconds at max rank.

venti’s utility lasts twice as long as zhongli’s.  TWICE.  the fact that it’s 8 seconds at rank 1 is, honestly, absurd to me.  that much power at rank 1?  god, wow, that’s busted. 

meanwhile, geo god at max rank twiddles his thumbs in the corner.

final thoughts.

anon my fingers hurt from typing i was trying to chug this out as fast as i can orz

quick recap: zhongli, a 5 star character, has lower normal/charged attack and elemental skill damage multipliers than 4 star characters.  his elemental usage is currently unquantifiable in a community that cannot readily measure the value of shields in the meta.  his elemental burst, his most obvious skill, is outclassed by a support that arguably serves the same purpose and deals the same damage as him.

i don’t think zhongli is a bad character.  i was being sarcastic throughout this entire post to relieve the tension in my fingers oh god oh fu

yeah so please ahsdljadsf im not hating on zhongli, just stating my reasoning and community observations.

anyways,

im not talking about constellations because, frankly, that would make this an entire separate post.  what i am comparing is zhongli’s base value when put against other characters who serve the same purpose as him, or fall into the same damage category.

he underperforms.  by all means, if you love his aesthetic, and love him as a character, continue to enjoy playing him.  this isn’t me saying that he’s trash all around.  this is me saying that, in a meta so fine-tuned, his gameplay lacks severely. 

there are probably some builds that can make you tune him however you'd like.  smack two-piece bloodstained chivalry and two-piece gladiator on him and you’ll deal more damage with normal/charged attacks and his stele for sure.  but is that the easiest thing to do for a unit with the lowest multipliers in the game?  no.  it’s much more practical, given his kit, to build him support.

im so tired but feel free to ask more questions orz or if i need to clarify anything

[bearpillowmonster]

Resident Evil Revelations Review

For this review I'm going to be referring to this game as "ReRe".

Let's get one thing out of the way, this was a game made for the 3DS then was ported over to other systems so it's obviously going to be smaller scale making a lot of the stuff not really something to blame it on, it's the core that I'll be judging as if I were playing it in its intended way.

I really only have Resident Evil 2 Remake and a little bit of Resident Evil 4 to go off of for reference but this was one of the ones that I was most interested in, which is kind of ironic but oh well. I finished RE2 and was craving more RE and I found the demo for ReRe on Steam. Imagine my surprise when I heard Michelle Ruff as Jill, I was already sold on the game, the question was "What platform?" Because I could get the ReRe 1 & 2 bundle on Switch, but I tried the RE5 demo on there and I didn't like the control scheme and I really don't like the control scheme for it on Steam, it was the same with RE4, I even tried plugging in my PS4 controller and it thought left was up and up was left, I couldn't change any of it in the settings either, just the keyboard and mouse ones, so here I am with a PS4 copy.

As you probably know, this game is split up into episodes, similar to that of Alan Wake. Each episode has its own levels, so you could start as Jill then go over as Chris for example in order to display different sides of the stories. I actually kind of like this because with RE2, I always felt like I NEEDED to do the next thing in order to save, it works for a game like this, better than Alan Wake especially considering that you only played as Alan and it was only one side of the story. But it's not so split up that it resets your inventory, you keep your herbs and your ammo (or lack thereof).

A lot of people complain about the scanner and how it gets repetitive and that it should've just stayed on the 3DS but let me say that I love when a game uses the controller, whenever you use it, the controller makes little robotic sounds, same with when Parker calls you on the com, I adore it. It makes me feel motivation to try and get that S rank at the end of each mission because it's basically the same as taking pictures. On top of that, it's night vision, so you can just use it to look around, sometimes you find hidden handprints, it's really neat. And the stuff that you scan, nets you percentage points so whenever you scan a specific type of enemy, it'll register it and once it reaches 100 then you geta herb! Which is a cool system, different from previous games with the mixing and such, here, there is just one type of herb and you can still pick it up on its own if need be.

(concept art) 

Let's talk about the setting. The idea that this is "Resident Evil on a ship!" sounds intriguing but limited, given the background of the early games but I beg to differ. I really like the idea of a ship being your environment, there are chapters where you play in other places at different times too so it never feels too familiar. It isn't just aimlessly walking, trying to get in the next room either, there are set objectives and it shows you where to go (not that it's all that hard to find anyway) because it's split up into sections, normally you'll only explore one or a few sections per episode so yeah it is easier in that sense but I'm fine with that. It goes away from the formula but the elements are still there, just not as much, there are still keys to rooms that you have to unlock and then you have to backtrack. I really like the ship itself too, I was in awe when I got to the Clock room, I love it, I'm a bit of a nerd for pirates and stuff so it's right up my alley (apparently there are even pirate skins you can unlock!). Just look at the way the helm spins whenever the next door unlocks and takes you down that elevator. 

They even have a solid level just dedicated to swimming, which sounds pretty bad but the swimming controls are actually good and I found myself immersed and tilting with the camera. Now those pirate skins are unlocked using Raid Mode. What is that? Well, you go around various stages of the game just shooting, take out as many enemies as you can, balls to the wall. The bonus stage unlocked after beating the campaign is the "Ghost Ship" which is basically the entire ship that you speedrun in order to unlock the pirate skins I mentioned (why is it always so difficult...) In a way, I have to appreciate this mode because while I might not be as handy aiming with a PS4 controller versus a mouse, it's kind of fun to run around, choosing your own weapons, infinite ammo and just wailing on enemies (I don't like that for any campaign but for a bonus mode it's fine.)

Now some of the characters because you can actually play as a lot of them here.

I've never got the chance to play as Chris before but now I'm really glad I did, I completely understand. I always hear that he's the butt end of a joke but people still like it. He's a muscle-headed Chad, that only thinks about the mission, he's not a character, he's a tool but dang does that make him likable. At one point, he’s trying to unlock a door through a computer and I’m like “You sure HE’S the one that should be doing that?) I think Jill ends up doing it anyway, Jessica is well aware of his obliviousness though, it actually makes for an interesting dynamic.

Parker isn't my favorite. He's there to be there really, sometimes I need support and he'll shoot that last zombie but that's about it. Raymond...for some reason, I like Raymond?? I mean, he's like a red-haired Casey Neistat.

Jessica is kinda funny because she's half and half like Chris. I thought she'd be super serious but "Parker better get me dinner!" Also speaking of half and half, she has one pant leg, the other one is bare?? Ok? The characters are cheesy, much like a tv show but I love them. I would've liked a little more Rachel though.

The final boss is actually pretty dumb, he has a weak point but he lasts way longer than he should, the previous chapter's boss was much more fun. As for the alignment of a survival horror game versus an action game, this one is more closely aligned with an action game but I would beg that it's more connected to survival horror than others such as RE5 or 6. The game isn't terribly long, my play-through was a little over 5 hours but I enjoyed it for what it was and again, it's a 3DS game.

[gaminginferno]

Final Fantasy Demo Review: Exactly What I Wanted

I never owned Final Fantasy 7 on the PS1. My first experience with the game proper was on the PS1 classics section of the PS Vita many years after its release. What I did play, however, was a spinoff game called Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core on the PSP. The game was meant to be a prequel of sorts, detailing the adventures of Zack Fair, the owner of the Buster Sword before Cloud, and the connections between him, his superior Angeal, and Sephiroth, the main antagonist of FF7, during his time in and out of the Soldier program. The game was one of my favorites in the system, mostly because they chose to remove the usual turn-based combat into something more action oriented, with attacks, dodging and evading done in real time. It also had almost realistic graphics on a portable system in 2008, which was unprecedented and was awe-inspiring for me as a young teen. This was also huge departure from the blocky graphics that the original Final Fantasy 7 game that release a decade prior. While many thought this game was an incredible part of the FF7 story, many people wished that the original game was given the same treatment. This brings me to the demo for the new remake of Final Fantasy 7.

Look at this lovable stud.

I was skeptical about the Final Fantasy 7 remake for several reasons. The first is that it has been 5 years since the game was formally announced at E3 in 2015. Since then, there was little news about the game except a few mentions in 2018 This usually indicates issues with development and tends to temper fans expectations. Also, they announced fairly early on that the full game would not be available during the release and instead it would be a quasi-episodic game, in which the full game would be released over several games. This is also worrying because it is not known where the cuts will be and how much content will be in the game at launch, despite it being a full priced game. However, after the demo, which covers the first mission, I was completely sold on the game.

Yeah I think he looks a little better.

The game looks even more graphically amazing than most games of the same scale, with the initial shots of Aerith, Cloud, and Barrett looking near photorealistic. The gameplay is fairly similar to Crisis Core and Kingdom Hearts: there’s a button for attack, dodging and blocking while special attacks and spells are in a menu with shortcut keys for easy access. This means that the more RPG elements, like turn based combat have been removed for a more simplistic, yet engaging experience. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a level of complexity to it. Characters in the party could be controlled and switched to at will or given commands for special moves and spells remotely. This meant a lot more to pay attention to at the same time while also doing your usual hack and slash fun. I often found myself struggling to get the hang of paying attention to everyone’s health and their attack skills while making sure I was staying alive and doing the right type of damage at the same time, but despite that, I never seemed to overwhelmed. The flow of gameplay seemed to be much more linear and focused, with straight pathways and enemies showing up at designated points. This does allow for there to be more focus on the story elements of the game, but I wonder what that means for levelling characters, especially new ones that join the party. The story seems to be a faithful recreation so far and the voice acting allows for a lot more emotion to be conveyed through the characters. All in all, the game plays fantastically well and the graphics and story cause the game to feel like an entirely new experience for new players and veterans alike. I still wonder about the length of the game, but the creators have said that the game will still feel like a cohesive story, even if it is not the full game. I think that this game will do what most said would be impossible: give a remake to one of gaming’s most love titles that doesn’t disappoint the incredible hype of the fanhood.

[doomedandstoned]

Conan Share Earth-Shaking Set at The Live Room in Belfast (plus Interview!)

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Doomed & Stoned is proud to partner with CONAN and The Live Room Belfast to share this striking live studio performance of the band playing three of their standards: "Total Conquest," "Satsumo," and "Gravity Chasm." This comes just weeks ahead of Conan's new album, 'Existential Void Guardian' (2018), releasing September 14th on Napalm Records.

Start Together Studio recently launched The Live Room Belfast to invite touring bands in for special recordings, usually between 3-5 songs, as a way to capture the intimacy of a live studio performance. This set was recorded, mixed, and edited by Niall Doran, with help from Assistant Audio Engineer Paddy McEldowney, and filmed by Ciara McMullan. The team did a fantastic job of capturing the massive weight of the Liverpool trio's legendary riffs and especially the fearsome caveman vocals of frontman Jon Davis.

This all took place on May 16th, the morning before Conan took the stage with Monolord and Elder Druid at Voodoo Belfast for an unforgettable show. Jon also sat down with Elder Druid guitarist Jake Wallace (who organized our recent Doomed & Stoned in Ireland compilation) for an in-depth interview.

And now, it's time for Jon Davis (guitar/vox), Chris Fielding (bass), and Johnny King (drums) do their thing! Enjoy...

Conan On Tour

10.08.18 PT - Moledo / Sonic Blast Moledo Fest 11.08.18 UK - Winchester / Boomtown Fair 16.08.18 IR - Galway / The Loft 17.08.18 IR - Cork / Cyprus Avenue 18.08.18 IR - Limerick / Dolans Warehouse 30.09.18 UK - Sheffield / O2 Academy 02.10.18 NL - Eindhoven / Effenaar 03.10.18 DE - Bochum / Rockpalast 04.10.18 DE - Hamburg / Logo 05.10.18 DE - Berlin / Musik & Frieden 06.10.18 PL - Wroclaw / Firlej 07.10.18 PL - Warsaw / Poglos 09.10.18 LT - Vilnius / Rock River Club 10.10.18 LV - Jelgava / Melno Cepuriso Balerija 11.10.18 EE - Tallinn / Sveta 13.10.18 FI - Helsinki / Blow Up 4 Festival 15.10.18 SE - Stockholm / Kraken 17.10.18 SE - Malmo / Plan B 19.10.18 DK - Copenhagen / Stengade 20.10.18 NL - Leeuwarden / Into The Void Festival 07.11.18 AU - Canberra / The Basement 08.11.18 AU - Melbourne / Max Watts 09.11.18 AU - Sydney / Manning Bar 10.11.18 AU - Brisbane / Crowbar 12.11.18 NZ - Wellington / Valhalla 13.11.18 NZ - Auckland / Whammy Bar 16.11.18 RU - Moscow / Aglomerat 17.11.18 RU - St. Petersburg / Zoccolo 23.11.18 UK - Nottingham / The Loft 24.11.18 UK - Leeds / Temple Of Boom 25.11.18 UK - Newcastle / Byker Grave Festival 26.11.18 UK - Glasgow / Audio 27.11.18 UK - Manchester / Rebellion 28.11.18 UK - Coventry / The Arches 29.11.18 UK - Cardiff / Clwb Ifor Bach 30.11.18 UK - Milton Keynes / The Craufurd Arms 01.12.18 UK - London / Boston Music Rooms 02.12.18 UK - Oxford / Buried In Smoke X-Mas Weekender

Interview with Jon Davis of Conan

~By Jake Wallace (Elder Druid)~

Recorded May 16, 2018 in The Live Room Belfast

Do you enjoy being on the road so much?

Yeah, we do. We have always tried to tour as much as possible, ever since the very beginning. I remember the first time we played outside of Liverpool with Charger in late 2010, and that was a really big thing, something we were pushing for to try and breakout of Liverpool gigs. We almost immediately started getting opportunities to tour and play, and for a year or so it was just weekends here and there, I really loved that. Then we got the opportunity to go touring around Europe. Of course, that brought its own problem then, because we had to get a van, so we invested a bit of money in an old Ford Transit. And I remember spending nearly £600 on installing a cool sound system in there, so that we could listen to Iron Maiden on the road full blast. Like with speakers right by our heads in the bulkhead.

There's something about being on the road, and everyday just looking forward to playing the music that you've written, and the law of seeing the reaction of people who are listening to your music, that you've written sometimes easily, sometimes songs have come together when they've been difficult to write. I've always found it really rewarding to play music, whether I'm on my own, or whether in the practice room with the lads, or whether onstage. And I remember when I was 16, promising myself I would do this, telling myself that I'm gonna play music cause I saw playing music as a long term thing that I would be in charge of. I never really wanted to work for anyone else, I always wanted to do music, and I remember as a shy and less than confident teenager, thinking this is a path that I can grow, and I really enjoy, something I could do for the rest of my life, hopefully.

When I get too old to lug cabs then I'll just pick up an acoustic, and do something with that. So getting on the road has been something we've loved from day one, and now were touring all over the world. This year already, we've had a US of 5 weeks, we've been to Japan for a week, and we've got more far-flung shows lined up for the end of the year, not announced yet, plus European tours, another UK Tour, and we've got an album out soon. I mean it's just -- we love it. I couldn't do anything else now, if I had to have an office job, I'd probably commit suicide, seriously. (laughs)

What make Monolord the perfect match for this tour, and will you be back in Ireland anytime soon?

I mean, we wanted a band as physically attractive as us, and we've finally done it with Monolord. Seriously though, they are a really cool band, they are really good people to tour with, they're professional, friendly, really interesting people, and they come from a different culture to ours, and we enjoy being on the road with them. We're not sharing a van with them, although we have done, we shared a night liner with them in October last year. And we didn't know what to expect then, as we didn't know them very well on that tour, but we got along really well. They're from a different culture but very similar people, at the same time, at the core of what we all are in a love for music, and they put their money where their mouth is, in terms of that. They also like to tour a lot, they release really great music, and they're a really good live act. So when you are choosing a band to tour with, our booking agent puts forward bands and it was really natural, that us and Monolord tour together. It's cool that we get to this joint headliner, switch headliners every night. Yeah, they're just great. I mean, I don't think we've ever toured with a band that we didn't really like, some more than others, obviously, but they are cool as fuck.

I suppose it's an interesting parallel, between both bands having three members, you get to see how another band performs as a three piece as well every night. Tell us about the origin of the band name, and how you guys have created a genre known as 'Caveman Battle Doom.'

Well, Conan could have been called anything, really, from '70s and '80s science fiction movies. You know, Krull was one idea that I had for a band name, very briefly I thought about that. We were called Elf-Beater for a time in our practice room -- that's obviously an awful name so we were never going to use that one long term. Conan just came to me one day, you know, I was going through some personal stuff and I'd had to move into my parent's for a little while, and I started this band up with an old friend of mine who was a bass player, but he played drums a little bit. So we started and we actually wrote and recorded "Satsuma." We had these songs, and we didn't really have a settled name. We were going to call ourselves Pazuzu for a little while or Demon-Demaro, as like a Bebo page in that name. There's some really old demos if you can search for that.

Initially, I wanted it to be a little bit occult-ish type of stuff, and then quickly I realised the lyrics weren't really going in that direction, and we were more about Sword & Sorcery, Science Fiction, and Mythology. Then I remember sitting there one day just kind of thinking, "What do I for a band name?" and then it just came to me. And it stuck, there wasn't really any other bands, well there was an Argentina metal band called Conan, but I think they had expired in the '80s, so there was nothing, no current bands within our scene, with that name, or anything close to it, so we grabbed it with both hands.

How did the name 'Caveman Battle Doom' come about?

The very first show that Conan did in Liverpool was with friends of ours, John McNulty and Gemma McNulty. They weren't married then but they are now, and they're really close of mine, and the band, they recorded at our studio. But they put us on our first ever show, when it was just me and Paul O'Neil, a two piece, and on the poster for that show, I think it said "primitive battle doom," "caveman battle doom," or "caveman doom." The label we were on, fast forward a couple of months, we recorded Horseback Battle Hammer and we released stuff on CD with Aurora-Borealis Records. They used that phrase as part of their sales pitch, on the website, taking it from that first ever poster, and then we thought we’d put that on a t-shirt because it looks cool and it sounds cool and those t-shirts just sold like hot cakes. So we thought, that's a cool name to make a joke about. Obviously, we haven't created our own genre; it would be awesome if we did cause we'd obviously make loads of money then, but it's just a bit of fun.

I know yourself are involved in Black Bow Records and Chris is involved in Skyhammer. How did both of those projects come around? Was it through the band that this became something you were interested in, or what was the path towards a label and a studio?

When I moved into a large house in a rural location, not far from Liverpool/Chester, there was a couple of extra buildings. One of them was a large coach-house and I actually wanted to turn that into a rehearsal studio initially. But it needed a lot of building work, which would have cost a lot of money, so I thought, "I wonder if I could somehow turn this into something that would repay some of that investment? So I'll do a practice room and then I may be able to rent the practice room out to bands." And I thought, "Nah, I don't think that will make generate enough money to make it worthwhile, unless we have people in there all the time." And if we did that, it could just be people in there 2-3 hours at a time and it would be a bit of a nightmare to manage, with it being a home. I then thought of, "Well I could turn it into a recording studio." So I got a couple of quotations for layout and stuff like that. It became obvious that it was going to be really expensive to do. So I thought, "I'll do that and see if I can maybe learn the ropes, I might work in there myself as a recording engineer."

For an extremely short-lived time I recorded bands in their practice rooms. I had one band ask for a refund, so then I thought, "Maybe I need to practice a little bit more." So I was going to set up the studio and decided not to, in the end, when Chris got in touch. Me and Chris had been friends and I'd been asking him what microphones to get and what stuff do I need really to set up a studio. We got chatting then one day out of the blue, and he wrote to me saying he had a really crazy idea and could he ring me. So I said okay. He gave me a call and Chris' idea was that he would come and work in the studio and take over and run it, and I waited a little bit and spoke to my wife. Then in the morning, we chatted again and it became obvious that yeah, it was going to be a great idea. Chris and I started working in the studio from August 2013, the build started in May the same year. We had a company called Studio People do it and they were brilliant.

The first band in there were called Bast and they came into the studio. They didn't have a label, I think they had been in talks with Candlelight Records, but nothing had been agreed at that point. So they recorded this album called Spectres and I said, "Why don't I just release it for you?" It was cool to release the first thing we ever recorded at the studio and that album did quite well. I had to repress it and then another band came in and I released theirs, as well. Then I spoke to Fister and Norska from America, I did a 7-inch split. Before you know it, I'm releasing music from bands all over and it's just snowballed. I didn't expect it to and I didn't really try very hard, to be honest.

I'm still learning all the time about running the label, make mistakes all the time, but I love it and it fits in nicely with the band, fits in nicely with the studio. I'm able to really diversify within music now, because obviously everyone has to earn a living somehow and unless you're very lucky, you can't earn a living from just the band. Some people can, but I can't, so I have to add other things on to make it possible to have a career in music. So that's all I do now, thankfully.

You guys feature heavily in the upcoming documentary 'The Doom Doc' which is due out this summer. How important is a documentary like that in promoting the underground?

I think it's cool, because it engages with people who may not have necessarily have checked out the bands that are being talked about on it. It gives a good overview of what the scene is like and it's something that you can take all round the world. We're friends with Joe Allen, one of the lads who made the documentary, and we played in Japan with him recently and his band Kurokuma. We played a sell-out show in Tokyo in a venue called Earthdom, which hadn't sold out for ten years or so. And part of the reason why it sold out so well was because the documentary was really popular over there. It's really cool, because it's shone a light on the very grassroots level of heavy music in the UK and beyond, and I don't think a documentary has done that really for UK heavy music, the very grassroots level, or I've never seen one that does it. Obviously, in America you have Such Hawks, Such Hounds. It's good that something like that has been made in England.

Finally, you've got the next album 'Existential Void Guardian' coming out in August. What can you tell us about that?

Well, it's all recorded and mastered now. We're just waiting on a video getting done for one of the songs and I'm not going to give any of the songs away, but it's cool, it's heavy as fuck, and we're really proud of it. It's the first album that we've done with Jonny on drums and it was quite a challenging album to make, because if we'd had anyone else on drums I don't think we'd have been able to manage it. But fortunately, Jonny being as professional as he is, he came in after touring with us for one month, just practicing a riff or two here or there in sound checks, and we sat down in the studio and we kind of wrote the drum parts of the album within a week -- or a weekend event, maybe 3-4 days -- so it came together. It wasn't easy, but the fact that it came together at all was a miracle, because we didn't allow ourselves the usual amount of time to write an album. So we pushed ourselves to the limit to get it written and get it to a level that were really happy with, because we wouldn't have released it otherwise. We wrote the drums and the guide guitar in the first few sessions, and then we went back and recorded guitar and bass, and when we got back from Japan we recorded vocals.

It came together in a different way to all the other albums. Maybe Revengeance was a bit like that, but everything up until then was the product of weekly practices, an hour or two every week. So we're kind of getting into this vein now, where we're writing music almost like as soon as we sit down. We get together and we can all play and write music together. It's really cool. I think a lot of that is to do with Jonny, because he's got a particular style that really blend in with what me and Chris are doing. It comes out mid-Sept. Tony Roberts is doing the artwork, as many people would expect, the artwork's cool. And we've got a really good video coming out, it's been done by the same people who shot the "Foehammer" video, and I gave them this idea of what I'd like them to do with this next video, and it's insane. It's everything I would ever want from a Conan video -- it's so sick, it's amazing.

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[erydiel-art]

(ENDED)CASTING CALL FOR: Voice Actors/Music Artists!!! Multiple Roles Available!

DEADLINE MARCH 31ST, 2018!!!

Hello everyone! I’m Erydiel, and I need your help! This is a long post, so beware!

I am currently working on my own anime called “Changing Fate.” To not give away too many spoilers, the anime is in a modern setting with fantasy-like elements, and involves romance, action, angst, etc. You can think of something like Naruto/Bleach, but closer to a Sailor Moon-type style. It’s a little weird of an explanation, but I hope that I’ve grabbed your attention! If you’re interested, read more below!

Now, here’s the deal: this project of mine is a one-man team. I make the story, the script, and do all of the artwork and putting everything together. Since I’m the only person doing this, it takes time to finish all of it. At this point, I will most likely release 1 episode at a time, OR finish all of the episodes and release them once a week. I’m still not sure what to decide yet, which is why I’m doing a casting call now.

Right now, this casting call is for both voice actors and music artists! To prepare you on what you’re getting into, Changing Fate will have:

- 15 episodes of various lengths

- 2 OVAs

- a trailer for the anime

- an anime intro/outro song

- a character reveal trailer

All episodes will be released on Youtube (and Vimeo, possibly). Now, I am a college student on a very limited budget, so I cannot pay you for your hard work. However, you will receive credit on every episode/video that’s released that you’re on, and you can absolutely add this series to your resume. (I’m sure that employers would love to see that you’ve worked on a long-term project, right? I know I would!) I WILL attempt at making a kickstarter to raise funds, so if it is at all successful I will be able to pay you then depending on the work you’ve done. Of course, this is something that will be discussed when we get closer to that time.

So, are you still interested? Wonderful! Here are the requirements in order to apply:

VOICE ACTORS:

1) Must have a good microphone, and/or be able to remove any background noise/static/etc. from the file before sending it to me.

2) Send files in either a .mp3 or .WAV file format

3) Be able to work with me in making sure that voice files are correct, and if needed re-do a line if the tone of a scene needs to change.

4) You will also need to be okay with scenes that either include or imply: torture, blood, death, pain, etc. Torture scenes will only be for 1 episode or so, but the situation is implied multiple times in the anime. DO NOT apply if you are NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS. I do not want to accidentally hurt you. I may not know you personally, but I always try to make sure that everyone is okay before moving forward.

MUSIC ARTISTS:

1) Be able to create several tracks (if needed) to fit various scenes in the anime.

2) If you can sing, or know someone who can sing, and be able to get them to sing the intro/outro song for you in the music file.

3) Send the files in a .mp3 or .WAV file

4) Be okay with certain scenes as stated in the Voice Actors Section above.

5) If you can do an intro/outro song but can’t create certain tracks, etc. (and vice versa) that’s OKAY. I don’t expect for only 1 person to do everything: I know different artists can create different genres of songs/tracks, so I’ll be expecting to hire more than 1 person. Just be you when applying!

6) Be okay and patient enough to be able to make any tweaks or changes to a song/track if needed. This may happen multiple times.

FOR BOTH:

1) When applying, send all applications to erydielart@gmail.com

2) The email subject heading should have either VA or MA, the character or track/song you wish to do, and what lines (for VAs only)

EXAMPLE:

Voice Actors:

VA (Accalia) Lines 1-5 Sample

or

VA (Accalia + more) Line Sample (Use this if applying for more than 1 character)

Music Artists:

MA (intro song) Sample

What I will be looking for in the emails:

Voice Actors: What character(s) you wish to apply for, plus the files that have the sample lines. EACH line (given below) MUST HAVE it’s own file, and named! For example, if you are doing Accalia’s sample lines, you would do: Accalia-Line 1 for the 1st sample, Accalia-Line 2 for the second sample, etc. Please make sure that you do this when sending emails!

Music Artists: Tell me what you wish to do: intro song, outro song, or background music. Then, I want you to include either a demo reel or examples of your work that either fit or are similar to the music that you wish to do for Changing Fate.

——–

Okay, now that all of that is done, time for the fun part! Voice Actors, this section is for you! Here are the Characters that you can apply for:

MAIN CAST:

Accalia Enelya (Ah-Kay-Lee-Ah Ee-Nel-Yah)

Gender: Female

Race: Nashoba (werewolf)

Accalia is one of THE main characters of the show. She will be one of the main focus in the anime, which also means she will have many, many lines. She is Tsundere to most people, but is heartwarming/acts normal to those that are the closest to her. She is a fierce protector who does not like Humans for the most part, but also knows that she is just a tool for their protection.

Lines:

1) “Humans…they disgust me.”

2) “Hey, get back here you scum!”

3) “It’s time to change.” (The line that’s spoken before a transformation scene occurs)

4) “I’m sorry…but I can’t. Not now, not ever.”

5) a file of a *sound of disgust* or a sound of “disapproval” (Similar to Cassandra from Dragon Age Inquisition)

Natsuki Arai (Naht-Su-Kee Ah-Rye)

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Natsuki is a soft-hearted man who is the love interest of Accalia. His voice is softer/feminine than most males, but NOT too feminine. You can clearly tell that he is a male, especially if his voice is raised in anger (which is quite rare). He is a gentleman at heart and tends to be the peacemaker in arguments.

Lines:

1) “Hello, my Lady.”

2) “I assure you that this must be wrong. Can we not resolve this another way?”

3) “Accalia, please, let me help you! You don’t have to do this alone!”

4) “All of this pain that you went through…I’m so sorry, my Love.”

5) a file or track of a *gasp* sound.

Paula Kisurugi (Paul-Ah Kiss-oo-ru-gee)

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Paula is Accalia’s best friend and closest ally. They have known each other for years, and will depend on each other if everyone else is against them. Paula is known to be a klutz, but she makes up for it with her sarcastic remarks and jokes. She will defend anyone who she is close with, although Accalia is most likely to protect her first.

Lines:

1) “Hey, get back here you jerk!”

2) “You know we gotta get them together, right?”

3) “Lia, you know you can trust me, right?”

4) *crying* “I can’t believe this…why did you have to suffer so much?!”

5) a file or clip of giggling or laughter. Be creative and feel free to send more than 1 file of this!

Cain Kazuhaya (Kayn Kah-zu-ha-yah)

Gender: Male

Race: Natissa (Vampire)

Cain is similar to Accalia in being Tsundere, but it’s not as strong. Instead, he’s almost like the classical annoying Jock that gets on everyone’s nerves. However, despite that persona he is a protector of his friends above all else, and is especially kind to Accalia because he owes her for saving his life long ago. He is also the love interest of Paula.

Lines:

1) “Yo.”

2) “Heh, hey Shortie. Did ya lose on the bet already?”

3) “Hey, back off!”

4) “They’re going to pay for this.”

5) a sound file of anger or yelling (like a battle-cry for a fight)

Damerick Bennett (Dah-Mer-Ick Ben-nett)

Gender: Male

Race: Nashoba

Damerick is known to be a Jack-of-all-Trades and makes constant jokes to make others laugh and be happy. He is an old friend of Accalia and Cain, and looks out for them often in times of need. Like Cain, he also is close with Accalia due to saving his life long ago, and wishes to pay her back for her sacrifice. If you ever feel down and need a pick-me-up, Damerick is the guy to go to.

Lines:

1) “Yo!”

2) “Dude, you gotta be kidding me!”

3) “Looks like it’s time to dance, yeah?”

4) “I don’t understand…why do we have to suffer like this?”

5) a sound file of a “WOO!!” or a yell of joy. Take your pick and be creative!

OTHER ROLES:

Sasha Anderson (Sah-sha An-der-son)

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Lines:

1) “Hey, what’s up?”

2) “…Really?”

Hampton Yamazaki (Hamp-ton Yah-Ma-Za-Kee)

Gender: Male

Race: Natissa

Lines:

1) “Huh?”

2) “…I don’t think we should be doing this…?”

DeAndre Parker (Dee-Ahn-Dre Par-ker)

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Lines:

1) “So…what do we do now?”

2) “Uh…what?”

Tran (Tr-Ann)

Gender: Female

Race: Human

*Vietnamese accent preferred, if able*

Lines:

1) “Hi.”

2) “…Thank you.”

Jordan Roan (Jor-dan Row-Ann)

Gender: Male

Race: Nashoba

Lines:

1) “Are we going to do this or not?”

2) “…Really?”

Various Female/Male Random voices/roles

*There are no lines here, just let me know if you can provide a voice for these smaller roles! They are of different ages, from children to old.

GODS/GODDESSES:

Zaman (Zah-Mahn)

Gender: Male

God of Time & Knowledge

Lines:

1) “Hello, my children.”

2) “My child, I’m afraid that it will only get worse from here.”

Xantara (Xan-Tear-Rah)

Gender: Female

Goddess of Earth

Lines: 

1) “I have failed you, my children. I…am sorry.”

2) “Do you think it was mere chance that you two are together? You two are together by fate!”

Araceli (Ah-Rah-Cel-Lee)

Gender: Female

Goddess of the Heavens

Lines:

1) “My child, do not look so down upon yourself. Your soul is too pure for such a sad look.”

2) “…I see. I have not thought of that before. You surprise me, my child.”

Asar (Ah-Sar)

Gender: Male

God of the Underworld

Aznil (Az-Nill)

Gender: Female

Race: Demon

Lines:

1) “Just give up already, Nashoba. We WILL rule over this world!“

2) “You don’t know what it is truly like to suffer. So, I will show you what it’s like myself!”

Aaaand that’s everything! Quite a long post, but it was necessary. If you all have any questions about this, please send in an ask! I will be happy to answer any questions or concerns.

Also, if you have no interest in this, please still reblog this! I need to get this reblogged everywhere so that others can see. Thank you SO MUCH if you do!!

DEADLINE IS MARCH 31ST, 2018

So please apply before it’s too late!

~Erydiel

[toogoodmusic]

TOO GOOD TUESDAY INTERVIEW: Tiger March

Los- Angeles based indie-pop duo, Tiger March recently released their debut album, Hold Something - a collection of 8 dream pop songs dripping in blissful synths. the band consists of husband and wife Matthew and Annie Gleason and their music is described as “intricately fun and indulgently pop all the way through” and if you’ve listened to the debut album you’ll know that’s extremely accurate. After seeing this duo perform in Silverlake, I immediately became a fan. Shortly after Annie reached out to me saying she thought I was the one she was singing to during their set and thanked for staying even though I had originally came to see Blckbx perform. Lucky for me, the two agreed to an interview and so on a sunny day at a bar in North Hollywood we met and I got to know this extremely talented duo. Check out what we talked about below and get to know Tiger March!

Photo Credit: Dexy Valentine

TOO GOOD MUSIC: How did guys meet and end up creating music together?

MATTHEW: It was back in late 2013 and we actually met on Craigslist. ANNIE: Everyone gets so concerned when they hear we met on Craigslist especially cause we’re married! But originally it was just for music. I had my own ad in San Diego looking for other musicians to play with. I typed in Beach House looking to find someone with similar interests.

TGM: Wait so you were really just looking for someone with a beach house?

A: Oh no! Beach House the band

TGM: Got it. Ha! I just wasn’t sure if you gained a lot of inspiration from being on a beach or something.

A: Ha! Not really M: But yeah so then we ended up meeting and really hit it off. And so we collaborated remotely back and forth for a few months and decided to continue making music together! A: Yeah and I had just discovered the program Logic and never really thought I’d end up in band.

TGM: Did you find it easier to collaborate long distance?

A: For me that’s how I like working with him now (laughs). I send him my demos and then we build it from there in Ableton. I don’t see how a live session is efficient.

TGM: So how did end up you coming up with the name Tiger March?

M: Pretty random actually. Annie wanted an animal name. A: Cause I think animals are auspicious. M: Yeah, it really doesn’t have a deep meaning we just had an Excel sheet and kept battling out names and we just liked it. It was clearly a really complex algorithm (laughing). 

TGM: Clearly! What was it like putting together your debut album, Hold Something? Were there songs that you had that didn’t make it onto the album?

M: It took a long time from beginning to end. The way we were performing was just as a two piece so we had to make sure the tracks were completely finished before we could perform them live because we needed the full track to fully perform the songs. A: But yeah we’ve got a bunch of songs that didn’t make it because having Matthew do all the live instruments takes a long time to do. I’d love to win the lottery and be able to mix and release all the songs we’ve written. M: It was really fun for me to the put the production together as we did it all in our home studio besides the vocals. I learned a lot about mixing and production. 

Photo Credit: Dexy Valentine

TGM: On the album you have a song called “Either Or” What does that one mean to you?

A: It’s a sad song that I wrote when I was remembering a relationship I was in. I was dating this guy in Iowa and its just a look back on those memories. It’s very bittersweet. M: Yeah and a lot of people are drawn to this song. A: It’s our most bittersweet song and there was a study I read where they played bittersweet music and for some reason those were the most remembered. I write a lot of my songs through phrases so I’ll look up idioms and go from there.

TGM: What else goes into your songwriting process?

A: I’ll normally build a basic demo and send to Matthew but sometimes it’s the other way around but it’s harder for me to build melody and lyrics around his demos. I’ll try to send him the most finished version on Logic or else it won’t get looked at - ha! But it works because I’m good at the writing and he’s good at the instrumentation and the production.

TGM: It seems like you guys compliment each other pretty well then. What would you say the benefits and difficulties of making music with someone you’re married to are?

Both: (Laughs) M: I think the main benefit is that your music can connect on a personal level and that’s a huge part of writing and performing is connecting with the people while on stage. It’s a deeper connection. But the challenge is the same as any other band just on another level. A: Right, like relationship talk vs. band talk. Like whose dividing tasks and whose taking on responsibilities - it’s hard to keep those boundaries. But, my goal was to have a musical project with someone I’m with…someone to be creative with and it was magical to find.

TGM: That all makes sense. I really enjoyed seeing you guys perform the other week...what’s your favorite part of performing live?

A: Not at all (laughs). My favorite part is leaving the stage - it’s a like a train you can’t get off but I do like the immediate feedback. M: I really enjoy riffing with the people on stage and just performing in general. I like being on stage and in the moment. A: And for me, writing is my favorite part. The performance part is my least favorite - I just don’t like that feeling of anxiety although I’m learning to work on it. 

TGM: Who do you look up to musically?

M: I’d say My Bloody Valentine, Cocteau Twins and Spiritualized A: I picked up guitar in an angry phase in college because of Ani DiFranco. I also like Aimee Mann because of the interesting lyrics and stories. Also the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

TGM: So are you a country fan because of the stories then?

A: I actually don’t know anything about country music - I like dance-y music.

TGM: Gotchya. So what do you guys like to do when you aren’t making music?

A: Riding our bikes, being domestic M: I have a son from a previous marriage and he’s 13 so its normal parent stuff. He just had his first date the other week which is crazy. We also are normally just talking music if we aren’t making music.

TGM: What do you hope people take away from your music?

A: I just want them to like it and for it to get our songs stuck in their head. M: They’re pop songs and so I just hope that people like it and that they remember something. Like for me, I notice things that drummers do on stage or in their music and that’s what I pick up on. I just want them to connect to something. A: In a way, I feel like I’m getting something out of music that I wasn’t getting out of poetry M: Yeah she writes great lyrics A: Wow, thanks! I’m normally fishing for compliments so it’s nice when they come spontaneously!

TGM: How would you describe Tiger March in 3 words?

Tiger March: Pop, fun, love

Photo Credit: Dexy Valentine

TGM: If you guys weren’t musicians what careers do you think you’d be in?

A: I’d like to write songs Taylor Swift! M: I just want to be happy.

TGM: If you were on death row, what would be your last meal you’d want to eat and last song you’d like to hear?

M: I’d pick “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space” by Spiritualized while I enjoy some chicken parm. A: I’d pick french fries - they’re my favorite thing ever and I’d say “Grey” by Ani DiFranco…or really that whole Revelling/Reckoning album-don’t make me pick just one.

TGM: If you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

M: Spiritualized, My Bloody Valentine, The Smiths, Ride & Slowdive A: Ludovico Einaudi, R.E.M., Aimiee Mann, Ani DiFranco & Taylor Swift

TGM: If you could headline any music festival what would it be?

M: Desert Days A: Glastonbury

TGM: And lastly, what does the rest of 2018 look like for you?

M: We’ve been doing a lot shows. We’ve been building that up and expect to play a lot of shows around the album release and now that we’ve got a full band. We’re not sure if we’re going to put another album out or just ride this energy and put out singles. Now moving forward we’ve got a good base and we plan to keep writing. A: We also might go to Hawaii (laughs)

[palecolorbouquetmag-blog]

Cosmo Pyke is a skater from South London who’s become known around the world for his unique singing, songwriting and guitar music. His unique sound made such a big noise it was heard by millions of people and many of them quickly became his fans. But in conversation you discover his passion for his music is as strong as his love for skateboarding and making art. Skating and playing the guitar gripped him from a young age and he picked up both naturally. But it wasn’t just his talent to string together well written songs and lines on his board that helped him to be the artist he is today. It’s also the excitement he gets from expressing his thoughts and ideas through them that stokes him out. Inspired to push for perfection with his pursuits and through taking his skills in a creative direction, he was further motivated to make art and his music career moved forward. Cosmo has been a No Comply Network member since the start and to see his meteoric rise as a musician has been immense. Four years since he released his impactful first EP and a week before the release of his latest offering, we had a chat about how he learned to skate and play guitar, shredding South Norwood, Peckham Rye and Bromley Skateparks, Ben Glasser and Max Critchlow, seeing US pros at demos, BRIT School, WITH Section, Slam City Skates, Southbank, street skating, making graff, recording his breakout EP ‘Just Cosmo’ with Fraser T Smith in the same studio as Stormzy, behind-the-scenes stories of all of his music videos, playing the last ever show at The Montague Arms with King Krule, filming ideal skate clips in Birmingham and Barcelona, playing live gigs, why his latest single Piper for Janet is one of his most meaningful to date, making tunes in Lockdown, the release timeline of his new tracks and his favourite skaters, spots, skate videos, art and photos and much more.

Glad to get a hold of you man, it’s been a while!

Yeah, it’s good because I’m releasing my first tune in a while in six days. It’s really good timing, we’re getting to chat now.

So when did you first see skating and think, I want to do that?

I used to skate when I was younger, maybe when I was about 7 years old.

That’s young, where did you get your first skateboard?

I got my first board from Brixton Cycles, which was next to Stockwell Skatepark at the time. I used to skate Peckham Skatepark. But not too much. I was always going to Stockwell and Kennington Bowl with my mate when I was really small. But then I stopped skating and started rollerblading…

Why on earth did you stop skateboarding to rollerblade?

It was my mate that I mentioned earlier. His older brother used to skate in my area and he was like a bit of a king in the graffiti scene. We always used his skates, everybody learned on his skates. We used to rollerblade at Whites Grounds, the skatepark in London Bridge, when Reuben De Haan’s cousin used to run it.

What year was this, 2005-2006?

Yeah.

So you started skating at age 7, stopped for a few years and started again. What motivated you to get back on board?

Yeah when I was 12, in year 7, Louie Dobbs, my boy he got me on it. We used to skate with Max Critchlow as well.

Yeah the day I started skating again I was at Bay 66 Skatepark, on the mini, on blades, with a party of people and at Bay you had to wear a helmet if you’re on blades but not if you’re on a board, it’s still like that. So at the time I was like fuck this!

I tried to drop in on the mini on a board and I was like look, I put my Vans on and went for the drop in on a skateboard and just did it! Dropped in first try on the mini and I was like fuck this! I’m skating from now on. I could always ride into the bank in Peckham but I’d actually never dropped in on a skateboard up to this point.

When was the first time you made your own music?

Well it was from about the age of about 9-10, maybe 11-10. I went to this thing called School of Rock at the Prendergast School in South London. It was called Felix’s School of Rock – run by this guy called Felix. You get put into a band, it was sick. In the holidays you’d do it for 4 days for a £100.

Like a kind of music boot camp for kids?

Yeah. Max Critchlow used to do it so it was really cool. It was sick. We weren’t allowed to bring skateboards and skate in the hall because they were scared we’d break our necks it was funny man.

How did it work?

You’d’ get put in a band with a Jack Black kind of figure and then on the fourth day there would be a battle of the bands type event and you’d do a gig on the stage. There would be like 90 bands, all just like loads of small kids playing  and the winner at the end wins chocolate, whoever screams the loudest wins basically!

Sounds hilarious man

From there, I was put on the stage, those were my first shows and gigs as a kid, just playing guitar, not even singing really, I did that School of Rock like nine times over the course of the next 5 years over the holidays and shit. Then I moved from Prendergast to Thomas Tallis School and then I started working there when I got to the age of like 18.

At the School of Rock?

Yeah, my first gig was there! Playing gigs, I was really scared before I got on stage as well. Because I cared a lot about what I was doing from such a young age. Cared about how I did.

Once you’d finished school and were looking to go to College, were you making music a lot or skating a lot?

I kind of wasn’t even doing anything religiously. Skate one day. Music the next day. Day after that do some graffiti. Never do one thing; I’ve always been juggling three things at a time. Going to school and school was just…school, you know?

For sure. What was it like studying at the Brit School?

It was really cool, I loved it, I was so happy really. I wasn’t at my rubbish school I was at previously. It had a uniform. This had no uniform and liberal teachers.

That’s dope

Yeah BRIT was crazy. It was like Uni as a 15 year old, no school bell, just like be on time.

So it made you be more independent

I didn’t go to Uni. I went to Sixth Form and then just finished school,  recorded my tape when I was in year 13, towards the end of my school, so it all patterned up well. When I finished school. I was touring all around London, South, West, East and North. In all the pubs.

I guess you made such a big impact; you were waiting to make something on that level or better

The way that I do Graff is the same way I do music. My friend even told me the other day. My songs are like the same way I do a piece or skate, just perfected and something I’ve been doing for a long time, so they are all really similar for me.So what stopped you from releasing those other songs?

I went up to Leeds and recorded with this guy, stayed with him there and recorded in his house. It just felt like the act of making music felt forced. I felt mad going up to Leeds sleeping in an Air BnB and focusing solely on just making music. Now I could do it a lot more but at the time I didn’t have the concentration.

Now I know a lot more but then I wasn’t ready. I made some good stuff and I really like it now and at the time I kinda like it as well but I kind of didn’t want to release it because it wasn’t the same process as the first record that I made with a big old studio with live musicians. This was just me on my own with no drummer, my mate, my drummer wasn’t there, it didn’t feel natural.

I tried to do some other stuff, that will come out in the future that I will re-record but I did stuff that I wasn’t 100% happy but this record I’m putting out now. This latest record, I recorded the way I’d done the first one with all live instruments.

Sounds like you needed some inspiration on this one. What music inspires you as an artist?

At the time I was coming up with loads of bands that played in the Montague Arms in New Cross and The Windmill in Brixton. There were loads of bands playing there at the time

Like who?

Horsey, my cousin’s band a cover band called The Bodies and King Krule.

You and King Krule played the last ever show at the Montague Arms in New Cross, what do you remember from that gig?

Yeah, there was a queue down the fucking road. The first person I saw in the queue was King Krule. I was like what the fuck!? why are people coming to see me. I never really had confidence in myself but you know! Yeah that was the first time I experienced people acting weird man, from those days at the Montague.

Yeah, when you get fame people treat you differently. But what was it like for you?

I learned my social skills from skating so I was always just completely…When you do my line of work, you meet a lot of fans. So it’s like when you meet someone and you’re a fan of their skating, it’s just about being nice to people and it was nice at the time and I miss playing.

The last gig I played was in Jakarta and I haven’t played since then. I’ve been dormant for 2 years. It’s such a long time but you know due to Lockdown it’s just extended that really.

Do you have a favourite artist?

Matthew Klarwein.  He did Miles Davis’ album cover artworks and then I really like Peter Green too; he’s a musician from Fleetwood Mac.

I also like John Piper, he’s the artist who’s art I’m basing this next record I’m about to release on. It’s called a Piper for Janet because my granny’s friend drew a John Piper style painting for her, he used a lot of watercolour and collage so the front cover of this record is based on him and he’s a British Painter. John Piper, he’s pretty cool

I like Edward Ruscha; he’s a photographer but he did a lot of stuff like taking photos of carparks and gas station in LA and Route 66 from specific perspectives back in the 60s and stuff like that.

Dope. Lastly when are all your new songs going to be released?

Next couple of months; they should all be out in January

Sounds good, look forward to it. Any last words Cosmo?

For anybody who’s out there reading this thanks for supporting me.

[sarahreeese]

The diversity issue One Chicago isn’t fixing any time soon

6 years on TV 15 seasons of all the One Chicago shows combined. 94 regular and recurring characters 2 specifically stated LGBTQ+ characters that were on for more than an episode. One who died due to man pain, and the other a manipulative awful girlfriend of said dead woman.

That’s about 2% of the characters on all of the shows.  

Their only significant gay character died in 2014. That’s nearly 4 years without any kind of representation. When One Chicago was criticized for having a lack of racial diversity on their shows, they made Med, whose cast is nearly half people of color. (Though they don’t all get equal air time or story quality but that’s another post.)  Justice took it one step further and had more people of color than white people.  So they can take criticism and change tactics, they’ve shown that. So why not change this? They’ve had time, characters, and 2 shows to correct this glaring problem. Why haven’t they?

It wasn’t planned from the beginning/The characters haven’t shown any signs of being gay. Sexuality isn’t something that needs to be revealed right away, there are so many storylines especially in the field that these characters work in that would make for great drama AND great representation. Give me a fire fighter or a cop who is gay, and hides it from the team because they don’t want to be seen differently by their team. Or a new character who had a horrible experience with their old team or house or whatever, and decides to come out only after they trust people. Or we could just have a great storyline where someone is out and proud and everyone deals with it respectfully. As for trans characters, all of the above apply, but they could also have a doctor transitioning, and we see the medical storyline play out as well as the emotional one with the doctors. People discover these things about them later on in life, there is no reason any character couldn’t be made to have these thoughts and feelings. These storylines write themselves and are incredibly easy to weave into the shows naturally. You’re just being lazy One Chicago.

It doesn’t have network appeal/wouldn’t play well with the demo. There are currently about 36 regulars/recurring characters active in the One Chicago Universe. No one is being threatened by putting any LGBTQ+ characters into the storyline. Also if people aren’t exposed to this in television, how will they be introduced to these ideas if they don’t know anyone personally. Also queer people exist and watch this show. We want representation too. And 18-49 is definitely going to have some of us in it.

They’d have to bring in new characters in order to have LGBTQ+ ones. No, they wouldn’t. See the first mock question. But also in the past 2 seasons they have introduced about 7 recurring or main characters. All of them straight.

You don’t know if they’re straight, you’re assuming. Yeah, because that’s the intention that the shows are going for. In order for representation to exist there needs to be some sort of explicit statement or act to show it. Otherwise it doesn’t count.

It’s not realistic to the type of jobs. Really... There are no gay cops or firefighters, or doctors?

These shows are about the jobs not the personal lives. Sexuality and gender expression ARE NOT PERSONAL LIFE THINGS. It’s who someone is, and that’s One Chicago’s specialty. The characters stop them from being just like every other procedural on every other network. And if you have time to show us scenes of every other heterosexual couple you have time to show us queer ones.

Stop watching the show if you don’t like it. No. I love these characters and that’s why I want these shows to do better, and be better. I’d also love consistent writing, which I’m not going to get either, but I can still ask for it.

Now here’s a list of characters who could easily be either read as queer or could discover they were queer. (Also PS, I’ll be using gay in the colloquial manner as in Make this Character Gay, which also means like make them queer or any kind of LGBTQ)

Starting with the newest regular characters.

Ava Bekker: Definitely brought in to be the new lady Connor fucks, but hey you could make her Bi or Pan. She made a comment about liking dangerous men, does that mean she doesn’t like dangerous women? Make her gay 2K18. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see her not wooed by Connor’s charms and become Zanetti 2.0? She could use a great girlfriend, or non binary friend. Maybe a sweet smart bundle of anxiety who is a second year psychiatry resident? You could show possible anxiety she might have about coming out when she’s in line for a competitive position.

Hailey Upton: Possibly had an affair with that dude. Alright. Make her bi then. Or if she didn’t have that affair, make her gay. There’d probably be very positive feedback, and her character might be better received if it didn’t look like she was taking Erin’s place completely. She’s cool, and calm, and doesn’t do a million illegal things an episode like some other characters. Gay Icon 2K18. Make it happen PD.

Stella Kidd: She’s got a thing going with Severide. That’s great, you can be Bi and in a relationship with a dude. That’s what bi means. Have her talk about an ex who is not a dude. Or if you’re going to make Kelly find himself for the umpteenth time instead of getting them together, have Kidd find a nice not cis-guy to date. 

Isidore Latham: Sure he had that mean sex worker trick him at the conference he went to with Connor, but we don’t know any indications of who he is interested in. Why not make him queer?

Looking at characters who have been around for a few seasons.

Sarah Reese: She comes from the east coast with a very wealthy mother and absent father. Her mother was never home, and we are shown her numerous confidence issues. If she was bi or pan, she would probably not express it because she wants to stay in the shadows. We can see that in the pastel neutral colors that she dresses in, and her over all demeanor. Show me a Sarah who falls for someone who she thinks she shouldn’t, and have her wrestle with those feelings and come out ahead of them. Then we can see her date a super intelligent and confident heart surgeon from South Africa. Sarah is also young and has super liberal leanings, making her the most obvious choice in Med.

Maggie Lockwood: We know next to nothing about Maggie. She’s an open book and has no restrictions put on her by previous statements. She’d be an excellent lesbian who is proud of her sexuality and is one of the most respected people in the ED.

Noah Sexton: Give me something that would make me stand Noah as a character. Show him dealing with his identity as a latino man from a religious background. It would be interesting and much better than his sexual harassment storyline we’re going with in this season.

April Sexton: Very similar to Noah with regards to being latina with a religious household, but she also has very strong desires to please her parents, and falling in love with someone who isn’t a man would be a challenge for her to over come. 

Kelly Severide: I mean who says he hasn’t slept with someone who wasn’t a woman before. Again, he can be with Kidd or whoever else they want to put him with, and mention an ex-boyfriend. Or maybe he doesn’t mention it and it comes out and we see a respected queer lieutenant. And who wouldn’t want to see Taylor Kinney maybe make out with a dude?

Connor Rhodes:  Bad boy who bucks familial conventions by being bi. It’s one of the reasons he ran off when he graduated school. Now he’s back in Chicago and is juggling his identity with the expectations of his family, name and this fellowship. Ava finds out he’s bi too, and they become ONLY friends. But good friends. 

Kevin Atwater: You’ve given him 0 romantic options in the show in 5 seasons, while Ruzek has had 2 engagements...(different post...) Maybe it’s because he’s gay. He and Peter Stone had excellent chemistry on the Justice crossover, delve into that. Show this badass strong and sensitive guy with a great boyfriend.

Sylvie Brett: Maybe she ran away from her wedding for more than just cold feet about missing out on the world. Maybe she never acknowledged those feelings inside her and she wants to date someone other than a guy? I don’t know. Possibilities are open.

This is just a small amount of options. You could write a scenario for nearly every character in this universe. So why don’t they? 

PS: I’m horrible at coming up with Trans and Ace/Aro head canons so if you have any please reblog and put them. I want to read them very badly. ALSO if you have any head canons about this reblog and put them. Let’s get diversity in fanon if we’ll never have it in canon.

Special shoutout to  @lesbianhaileyupton, and @xelmanrique318 for bringing this up in the tags and causing me to get pissed enough about it to write this whole thing out. I reblogged their posts, and they’re 100% worth a read.

[felicityb-reviews]

Review Roundup - Week 1 January 2018

Hello babies!! Welcome to your debut Review Roundup for Week 1 of January 2018!!! I'm really excited to launch this series, because while I do love doing reviews, sometimes the only thing I can say about a song is "I like it, it was good". I also wanted a place I could spotlight releases from less popular acts (or even less conspicuous releases, sometimes) who don't exactly have 2309342 million fandom pages. This is a great way to combine that, I guess.

Before we begin, some ~rules~

For a song to eligible, it has to have an official video. Even if it's basically some shit an intern made in Final Cut Pro in five seconds, before uploading it. I just need to know that it's an ~official~ release.

No OSTs!! 90% of them are dry ass ballads, and I do not have the time, sis!! No OSTs!! /Edna Mode voice

And on that note, I might choose to skip a certain release, because I have nothing to say about it. Or nothing nice that isn't constructive criticism.

Yes, each video has a Rating™. Do not get hung up on said Rating, cause it's basically meaningless; it's just an arbitrary number based on how much I liked the particle song, mixed with how well I thought the song was written.

Just like with my Feature Spotlights, the blurbs here are just my opinion, sis. Please do not get hung up on what some gay bitch on the Internet has to say about your fave. I'm hella arrogant, but my words are not of God.

So now that we got that out of the way (Even though I'm 90% sure some bitch is gonna try my ass), our list begins with...

Grown Up (Soyou)

Grown Up is pretty standard fare for a Starship ballad. The company has always submerged themselves in RnB and Gospel sensibilities, and it shows here. Miss Soyou takes us to church with Grown Up. A very nice song which I appreciate, but will probably not listen to much, unless I'm in a Ballad Bitch™ mood.

Rating - 3.5/5

TRCNG - Wolf Baby

"Ooh bitch... You mighta just did something there"

That was my first reaction to Wolf Baby, fam. I was ready and willing to write the song off, because the teaser did not show it off in the best light (it sounded like a demo of Hyosung's Into You, according to a friend) and the visual was more of the boys showing off their dance skill. Which is never a bad thing... Except when it's literally the same shit we've seen 20 million times from similar boy bands. But Wolf Baby delivers in full. Unlike the God awful Spectrum which takes after B.A.P in the worst of ways, Wolf Baby sounds and feels more like a Secret song (which sounds a lot better than you think it would). Wolf Baby shows that these boys have personality that can translate to the music, and Lord knows we need more of that in K-pop boy bands. I'm so tired of being charmed by these boys in variety, but utterly bored by their music.

Rating - 4/5

Think about (Seo Ji An featuring KLANG)

Lissen... Whoever wrote this song needs to give me a refund. That intro had me thinking this was gonna a bombastic radio ballad. Like, they were about to hit me with that Ryan Tedder throwback shit. But instead, all I got was soft falsetto and a limp piano line.

Talk about a boner killer, sis.

But once I got over myself (and the song started to pick up), I realized that it was actually pretty nice. Nothing I'd put into heavy rotation, but this would be good shuffle bait.

(Sidenote - if anyone can find me anything on the female vocalist, KLANG, I will give you a hug and a cookie, because I really liked her voice)

Rating - 3/5

XOXO (Soyeon of LABOUM x Park Jae Jung)

We're getting a jump start on the Springtime love duets, I see. I can't say I'm entirely mad, tho. XOXO, like Seo Ji An's Think about, falls within a category of songs I like to call shuffle bait. They're not terrible songs, but they're also not ones I feel obligated to put on heavy rotation. They're good for those days when you don't know what you wanna listen to or need some soft background sounds, so you put your music on shuffle. Not a category one should aspire to be in, but not one to be mad at for falling into, either.

I'm very happy that Global H made this a duet, cause Soyeon's overly bright tone could have tired out the ears very easily if she had to sing this by herself. And not only that, but Park Jae Jung provides a nice foil to Soyeon's voice with his smooth tone. All in all, a very nice song.

Rating - 3.5/5

Honey Tea (OOHYO)

Miss OOHYO is givin us a little Bassa Nova in her Honey Tea, you guise!!

Honey Tea is another shuffle bait song that almost makes it in the Heavy Rotation camp with it's interesting choice of instrumental interludes; but alas, she doesn't quite make the cut. There's something about the production here that doesn't quite mesh right; the song elements don't meld into one another like they should, especially with such ~agreeable~ (for lack of a better word) elements as these. This song is really nice for what it is (the melancholic atmosphere nice for those days when you just wanna brood like an angsty teenager), but I needed just a little bit more.

Rating - 2.5/5

Like Paradise (Kriesha Chu)

Something tells me that Future Bass is going to be everywhere in Kpop this year like Tropical House was last year, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On one hand, you have Svt's Don't Wanna Cry and LONG:D x Kim Doyeon's All Night that are masterfully made songs. But then you have BTS's Best of Me and Kriesha Chu's Like Paradise, both of which are so fucking beige it makes me wanna slam my face into a wall. And it's really sad because, unlike Best of Me, Like Paradise starts out with a great verse. But then the prechorus goes right into generic territory with a chorus that's so anybody, it's almost frightening.

Kriesha Chu exploded onto the scene with a familiar formula in Trouble, but she did enough to make it her bitch, so idk what happened here. A friend mentioned that she feels as though she's heard this melody fifteen times, and I wouldn't be surprised if she has. This song isn't bad, but it don't got no soul. Which is a shame, because Miss Kriesha Chu has plenty to go around.

Rating - 2/5

Blah (Planetarium Case #1)

Now this is a song that took me by surprise. I was not expecting that Tropical style beat to kick in when the verse started, but I mean... Y'all know how I am with anything and everything Tropical inspired. And then they had the nerve to combine that heaux with RnB style instrumation?!?!!

Bitch...

I wanna be mad at how much I like this song. I really do. I wanna care about how the vocalist's voice is a touch too bright and whiny for that kind of vocal processing (it's faint, but it's there). I wanna feel some type of way about how that kind of vocal processing isn't really suited to this type of song. I would like to have some kind of critique here, but everything just slots together in a way that I can ignore the little things I don't care for.

Sis, idk how these underground labels know me well enough to make such targeted attacks against me like this, but I'm not mad. In fact, I'm very okay with that if I get to walk away with songs like Blah. Can we get more of this, instead of Future Bass or whatever other kooky trends are gonna rule K-pop this year?!?!!

Rating - 4/5

Foresight Dream (Younha)

Hello, Miss Younha!! It's nice to see you giving us something other than classical ballads like some kind of Baek JiYoung knockoff.

...was that mean?!?!!? Okay yeah, that was mean. Oh whatever, it isn't like other people weren't thinking it.

Copious amounts of shade aside, I'm been very here for what Younha has been doing, musically, since Get It. She's swapped out the ballads for a more RnB/Pop sound that's very in line with what the K-RnB World has been doing lately, and I couldn't be happier. Foresight Dream is a dreamy piano driven song that's a bit too downtempo in groove to qualify as an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo, but still has enough drive to feel like it's actually going somewhere. And Younha's voice sounds amazing. She's got a voice very similar to Alice from HV's, but Younha has more depth to her tone. All in all, a very magical experience.

One critique I have (and it's not even of the music) is that I'd have liked if Younha had released Foresight Dream before the GroovyRoom produced Parade. With the way Parade followed the ph-1 assisted Hello, I had assumed that she was done releasing songs. But with Foresight Dream coming after those two, it kind feels like it dampens her momentum. Idk, I'm just being a picky bitch.

Rating - 4/5

wewantourmoneyback (Giriboy)

*sigh*

This nigga talmbout how he want his money back, but I want my fucking time back from listening to this hot mess.

Okay, let me roll back the shade for a second. This song really isn't that bad. I've heard F A R worse from the likes Jay Park, Zico, and Dok2. But dude, this is a touch too fucking generic for a winter release. You couldn't have saved this for summer?!?!? When niggas is actually trynna shake they ass to generic trap beats?!?!

To be honestly, I'm tired of hearing these kinds of songs in K-HipHop. Especially from dudes who have tones like Giriboy. Their voices are whiny as fuck all, and these kinds of beats usually have a lot of higher tones in the mix (for those who are too bougie to listen to trap, producers typically use high, tinny synths as the main instrument in trap beats), so it's just a headache in the making. It's already hard enough to make a trap song without it sounding too repetitive, but these fools have truly tired me out with this genre. I can't even think of something to say about this song, cause it's just so generic.

Rating - 1/5

Paint Me (Mamamoo)

I'm sorry... MamaWHOMST?!?!?!!

Jokes aside, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this song. Mamamoo is a group that I once loved, but all that went sour when they decided to do blackface in concert (and then post a BTS video of getting into costume for said stage a week after posting an apology). And if I'm being honest here, their only good songs are You're The Best and Piano Man. I stanned for their other tracks for the culture; I liked what they did with the songs live. I didn't really listen to them, but tis the life of a K-Pop stan.

In retrospect, it's quite interesting how Mamawhomst Mamamoo haven't promoted a big power ballad like Paint Me before. The instrumentation is basic as all fuck, but it allows emphasis to be put on their vocals. Which are half the reason Mamawhomst Mamamoo survived Nugudom, in the first place. But as great as their voices are in this song, it just doesn't go anywhere. It throws you from one extreme to the other, and then ends. It's hella polarizing, and not something I really wanna put myself through with repeated listens.

Rating - 2.5/5

A Day I Want To Love (HEYDAY featuring Lim Eun Young)

A Day I Want To Love is a very typical classical ballad, and while that usually has me running for the hills, I decided to give it a chance. And I mean, this isn't a song that I'd put into Heavy Rotation, but it'd fit in very nicely with all the songs I download to use as shuffle bait. I'd also quite like to hear this sung live. Idk, I just feel like it'd come off better that way.

Rating - 3/5

OGZ (Jo Woochan x Park Hyunjin x Achillo)

I don't understand this song.

That's not to say that it's bad. The beat reminds me of wewantourmoneyback, but GroovyRoom decided to make a more interesting remix of it. And the boys all hand in amazing verses. But idk, yo. This song just feels weird as all fuck.

Rating - 4/5

Missing You (VOISPER)

How fitting that this is the song that closes out the main list week. Missing You is another lowtempo shuffle bait track (the mood for this week, apparently), but this time around, we get some horns in the mix. Which I greatly appreciate, because without them, this song would have been extremely boring. VOISPER have nice voices, but their technique is kind of sloppy. And I don't usually sweat shit like that, but it's really noticeable here.

Rating - 3/5

The Fabulous Five

So... You've made it to the end of the post (thank you, btw), and are now wondering what in the actual fuck a Fabulous Five are. Well, it's simply a fancy title (because your bitch is hella dramatic) for my favorite songs of the week. In fact, if you payed any mind to the (badly made) gifs at the top of the post, you'd notice they're from the following videos. Anyway, there's no real metric for what goes here, just songs that I stan a lot.

5. Lower (f(Amber+Luna))

MY WIG!!

MY QUEENS!!

M Y W I G!!

Lower is God tier, sis. I've read a few people's reviews of the song, and the one thread of commonality between them all is that Lower is generic and not worthy of the f(x) brand. And while I'm not gonna sit here and act like Lower isn't something I'd expect to hear at a European gay club (or any gay club for that matter), I really like what Amber and Luna did with this song.

I also think that Lower should be considered a performance piece above all. I view EXO's Monster this way - I don't care for the song by itself, but I'm hype as fuck when there's an accompanying visual. Amber and Luna could have made this beat their bitch (Luna certainly has the vocal chops for it, and Amber could have done ha thing with a lil rappy rap), but the main focus of the song is the breakdown. And they dance for their fucking lives to said breakdown.

I can't tell you if I'd have liked this song so much from another duo in K-Pop or if I'd have liked it if it didn't come with a video, but the reality is that like it.

Me Likey Likey a lot!!

I'm really hoping that SM sees how well of a unit these two make, and decides to debut them, officially. Cause God only knows we aren't getting any new material from f(x) anytime soon. Victoria is too busy livin ha best life in China, and Krystal is too busy looking fed up for no reason with Jessica, whilst people throw money at BLANC & ECLARE.

Rating - 3/5

4. Hot Potato (N.FLYING)

Before I start in on my review of this song, I just wanna ask what the fuck is up with idol bands being filled with beautiful ass humans?!?! Like?!?!?! Anytime I watch anything with Day6, I can't help but wanna cry at how hot they are. And watching N.FLYING's Music Core comeback stages, I got the same feeling. I could barely pay attention to the songs. Am I really just that thirsty?!?!?

Nobody fucking answer that, I know I'm thirsty heaux. I don't need you shady bitches dragging me for it.

Existential crisis aside, Hot Potato is a banger. I'm really hoping 2018 is the year idol bands start thriving, because I need more songs like these in my life. The verses are pure octane fun, while the choruses are power pop crack. I dare one of you to tell me you wouldn't sing along to that chorus if you knew Korean. I fuckin D A R E you!! And whoever's idea it was to add Yoo Hweseung from Produce 101, I wanna kiss you silly. His chemistry with Lee Seunghyub is ridiculous!! And in addition to that, an added vocalist allows them added flexibility with with N.Flying's rap/sing vocal style. I'm just so happy with this song, especially with how little love I had for The Real. It's great, sis.

Rating - 5/5

3. Her (Drug Restaurant)

Raise your hand if you had no idea that Jung Joon Young's band changed their name to Drug Resturaunt!?!?!?

...

Oh that was just me, not paying attention to anything?!?! Okay...

The first time I heard Her, I was immediately mesmerized by that opening chord progression. Some part of my musically trained brain knows how overused that progression is, but the rest of me is too busy blissing out to it to care (to be fair, most chord progressions in popular music are overused, because there's only so many that actually sound good to our ears). Her is no one trick pony, tho; she may come back to the oddly dissonant and melancholic texture of the intro now and again, but she always makes sure to give you something new with it.

The rest of the song is pretty great, too. Jung Joon Young has a very smooth texture to his baritone, very similar to BTS's Kim Taehyung (and if y'all know anything about my gay ass, y'all know I'm a H E A U X for baritones), and it's a great contrast to the grit of the instrumental.

Her is a very nice intro (err... reintrduction) to a great band. I keep telling myself I'll get back into rock like I was in middle school (the only good thing about being a weeb is J-rock and VISUAL KEI, I will fight you if you say otherwise), and it looks like God decided to help a girl out.

Rating - 4.5/5

2. Twenty Something (Alice featuring Yooyoung of HELLOVENUS)

Hello?!?!? Fantagio?!?!?! Starship Entertainment called; they want their Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo back.

Yes, I realize I'm not that funny, but it's not gonna stop me from cracking jokes

So... If you don't know what an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo is, it's basically the RnB version of an acoustic midtempo ballad (hence the acoustic coffee shop bit). They're usually not acoustic at all, but they still have the same feeling as an acoustic ballad, if that makes sense.

And can I make a bold statement here?!?!!? Fantagio just declared a turf war against Starship with this song. Yes babies, it's that fucking good. Starship is usually my go to for Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempos, but it looks like Fantagio wants to throw their hat in the ring for consideration.

Alice has the right amount of grit to her voice to really hook you in, but a decent amount of brightness to help uplift the track. And Yooyoung's rap is just... Oh my God, it's so good!! I wanted it to be longer, sis. A++ content!!! She provides a nice texture change that makes Alice's voice pop when she takes over the track again. And the instrumentation just makes my brain happy tingle. God, I'm just so in love with this song!!

My only complaint is about that flat ass, limp ass, needs to be put out of it's misery ass high shriek Alice does over the final chorus. Guys, I am so tired of my ears being accosted by these singers trying to belt. Most of K-Pop's vocalists are sopranos with bright ass tones and absolutely no power behind their voices. This obsession with high belted notes at the end of songs is just so weird, and if y'all are gonna continue to do it, I need y'all to integrate that shit into the song better. Don't just have a vocalist do their best "OH MY GOD, THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME" shriek. It's so irritating!!

And apparently, this is the first of a monthly song single campaign Fantagio is doing for 2018?!?!!? Someone at that company wants me to die, sis. First, they inflict Ong Seungwoo and Park Jinwoo on my ass, and now this.

Rating - 4.5/5

1. Bboom Boom (MOMOLAND)

First of all, can we give S. Tiger a round of applause for throwing it back to EXID's Nyam Nyam Jeop Jeop?!?!?!? That is a top five favorite b side of mines, so the second I heard the guitar in the teaser, I fucking Knew™ my edges were about to get snatched right off my face.

Secondly, Queen JooE is outchea livin ha best life, and I'm just so here for it. People love to talk shit about girl groups cause they only do cutesy and sexy concepts (nevermind the fact that boy bands do the same shit, but I guess y'all not trynna hear that), but anytime girl groups give you something different, y'all not trynna stan. So, I'm so fucking here for JooE serving you basics Unapologetic Joy™ in the New Year.

Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus!!

For those of you who can't tell (although it's position in the Fab Five should've tipped you off), I fucking love Bboom Bboom. I was ready for Bboom Bboom the second the teasers started rolling in, and my excitement hit an all time peak with the Great! highlight medley showing that the entire mini was Banger Central™. My only complaint about the song is that the transition from the trap beat to the regular beat in the second verse was so throwed together and clunky. Did y'all run out of time to really integrate that right, cause?!?!?!?! I love that section, but that it could have been handled way better.

Still my favorite song of the week.

Rating - 4.5/5

And that's that, folks!! Tune in next week at 6pm EST to see my round up of this week's new releases. And don't forget about Friday's Feature Splotlight at 6pm EST!! There's been a little (Okay, it's a pretty big ) change to the schedule. Wanna know what it is?!?!?! Be sure to check it out!!!

[gamersonthego]

Chase Koeneke’s Top 10 Handheld Games of 2017

2017 represented a big shot in the arm for handheld gaming. As the Vita clings desperately to life support, Nintendo has graced us with the Switch, and with it, a bevy of AAA titles not normally seen in the handheld space. Maybe it’s not fair to pit Breath of the Wild and Mario Odyssey against something like Iron Marines, but hey, this is the shot across the bow. It’s time to step up your handheld game in 2018.

Honorable Mentions: The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King, Puyo Puyo Tetris

Personally, I never feel good about double dipping on a game come GOTY list time. I love The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth on the Vita, and Afterbirth+ is even better on the Switch, but it’s pretty much the same game. The same can be said about Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Dragon Quest VIII is excellent, but it’s a straight port of a 13-year-old game, and even if it’s one I experienced for the first time in 2017, I can’t in good conscience count it here on this list (though watch me do just that for my #3 game this year). And while Puyo Puyo Tetris got its stateside release this year, I’ve been plugging away at my imported Vita copy for the better part of two years. It’s an essential Switch title, but I didn’t play the game much in 2017 and to put it in a list of my favorite games this year doesn’t really make sense.  

Dishonorable Mention: Fire Emblem Heroes

I think I played more Fire Emblem Heroes than any other game this year. I know I spent more money on it than any other game this year (and probably more than any other game ever). And while I really enjoyed my time with it, its money-sucking greediness became too much for me to bear. I had to quit the game cold turkey and delete it from all my devices. It’s a truly special game, completely marred by bad business tactics, and that is heartbreaking. And while it has been disqualified from this list, its impact deserves some sort of recognition, even if that’s in the form of a warning..

And with that out of the way, let’s get to the top 10!

10. Monument Valley 2 (Mobile)

While it didn’t quite grip me as hard as the first game, Monument Valley 2 still manages to put together stunning visuals with simple, but effective puzzling. And man, it’s really fun to make those kaleidoscope/snowflake things. Make sure you listen to the GOTG episode about the series with Bobby Pease too.

9. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle (Switch)

I laughed right along with the rest of you when the images for this leaked out online before E3. This seemed like a bad idea from the start, and I didn’t much trust Ubisoft to execute the idea. But Kingdom Battle is a surprisingly strong strategy game. With simplification where you want it and depth where you need it, there’s a lot to like about the way this game plays. Forcing you to keep a Rabbid in your party at all times and less than interesting puzzles outside of combat keep this from greatness, but this a great foundation to build upon.

8. Iron Marines (Mobile)

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Kingdom Rush and its developer Ironhide Games. And I’ve been waiting for Iron Marines to release for years after playing a demo at PAX East in 2015. Now that it’s here, I can say that yeah, it was worth the wait. It’s the best RTS game on mobile and builds on Ironhide’s strong tower defense roots. And if you need to hear more, I spoke with two of the developers earlier this year for GOTG.

7. SteamWorld Dig 2 (Switch/Vita)

I’ll be honest, I had misgivings about SteamWorld Dig 2. I loved the first game for its condensed experience. Hearing that the sequel was going to be much bigger worried me. Was Image & Form about to bite off more than they could chew? Thankfully, my worries were completely unfounded. SteamWorld Dig 2 is fantastic. A solid platformer through and through that lives up to the SteamWorld name. Now we just need a SteamWorld Heist 2 on Switch.

6. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)

I am notorious for my inability to get through Zelda games, and Breath of the Wild is no different. But even in my relatively short time with the new game, I’ve come to realize how special this series really is. There’s a transcendent quality to exploring Hyrule, taking in this massive world that feels so natural and yet is so densely and elegantly packed with life and mystery. I don’t like the weapon degradation and I think the combat is a little too simplistic, but those are small gripes when you consider how this game makes you feel on a moment-to-moment basis. It’s not my favorite Zelda game, but it is the best Zelda game. Maybe one day I’ll finish it.

5. Golf Story (Switch)

I. Love. Mario. Golf. Specifically, I love Mario Golf for the Game Boy Color, which smartly combined RPG mechanics and a thin, but enjoyable story into a golf game. Since the GBC release, Mario Golf has become increasingly generic, dumbing down the RPG mechanics and losing what made it special. Golf Story is the second coming of Mario Golf GBC. The writing is top notch, it brings back the RPG mechanics I’ve been missing and dammit, the golfing is pretty good too. For Sidebar Games’ first release to be so strong out of the gate, I’m just so impressed. Now let’s tackle a baseball RPG please.

4. Super Mario Odyssey (Switch)

Nintendo really knocked it out of the park this year. First they launch the Switch with the best Zelda game ever and then they follow it up with one of the best Mario games ever. Super Mario Odyssey manages to be a love letter to both 2D and 3D Mario games of old while simultaneously raising the bar of what a Mario game can be. Everything is just so inventive and imaginative. The simple act of moving Mario around the different kingdoms is sublime giving you the freedom to do some spectacular platforming if you dedicate yourself to mastering the controls. And some of the later kingdoms are too good to spoil here. You really need to experience them for yourself.

3. Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (3DS)

Fire Emblem Awakening and Fire Emblem Fates were my favorite games of their respective years of release and I expected Echoes to be in a similar conversation this year. And it absolutely lived up to those lofty expectations, but not in the way I initially thought. Echoes is way more than a remake of an NES game. It deftly weaves in the story, themes and mechanics of that game into a modern video game, managing to feel faithful to its source material while never being tied down by it. Whereas Awakening and Fates are built from a rich history of mechanics from past Fire Emblem games, Echoes is almost experimental by comparison. Not all of those experiments pay off, but enough of them do that I truly hope the next new Fire Emblem game takes some notes from Echoes (and I hope more Fire Emblem remakes of games that never made it stateside appear in the future. May I suggest The Binding Blade so we can all see what our Smash Bros. friend Roy was up to?)

2. Sonic Mania (Switch)

While I’m a Nintendo kid through and through, I’ve always preferred Sonic to Mario when it mattered. Sonic 2 beats Super Mario World any day. But Sega has continually missed the mark on giving fans the good 2D Sonic follow up we’ve been craving…until now. With the help of Sonic’s most hardcore fans, Sonic Mania is the perfect sprint down memory lane. Remixes of old stages and music, brand new ideas that would feel right at home on the Genesis and some incredible references and callbacks to even the most obscure Sonic games and lore, Mania just nails the Sonic experience from top to bottom. My only complaint is those damn blue sphere bonus stages plucked straight from Sonic 3. Those were terrible then and they’re terrible now.

1. Monster Hunter Stories (3DS)

This one was a surprise to me. I’m not a Monster Hunter fan. I just can’t get into them. But a traditional JRPG using Monster Hunter’s cool creature, armor and weapon designs intrigued me enough to give the demo of Stories a try. Over 100 hours later, and I think it’s fair to say the game hooked me. The combat is the star here. While you fully control your character, your monster partner has a mind of its own. Only by gaining kinship during battle can you call out specific attacks for your monster to do. Whether you or your monster are calling the shots, the action takes place in a rock, paper, scissors style battle, but unlike Pokemon’s type advantages, each monster has certain tendencies, and picking the right move can cause additional damage to the enemy while taking minimal damage in return. But sometimes monsters go against their tendencies, making each fight a unique chess match that stays engaging throughout the experience. Like Dragon Ball Fusions last year, this game came out of nowhere and blew me away. As developers continue to embrace the Switch, this may be one of the last great RPGs for the 3DS.

[tearasshouse]

Attack on Backlog 2017 - No. 9 

Final Fantasy XV

Breakdown: PS4 version at 80ish hrs for the Platinum. Plenty of post-game content left undone; plenty of pre-timeskip content left untouched; figure I’ll go back to the game someday (ha ha, not likely) and be like, oh wow, this single-player MMO still has a lot of questing left for me to do, cool (but that won’t happen).

Final Fantasy 15 is a big, beautiful, incomplete, incoherent but ultimately fulfilling and worthwhile experience that won’t disappoint if you have realistic expectations. So, it’s kind of like being in a relationship! Hah. Speaking of relationships, like the ones depicted in this game, and also like my own with the FF series...

TL;DR time! So far I’ve gotten as far as: 

Sephiroth’s fight in FF7 where I parked my characters outside of the crater and went, Nah, putting a stop to that glorious (ly pathetic) summer where I spent my 13th or 14th birthday leveling up Materia or something. Whew. Somehow I just lost the nerve to continue despite grinding for hours upon hours. I didn’t even have KotR, so naturally I skipped Ruby Weapon and that just made defeating Sephiroth kind of... pointless?

disc 3 in FF9, but because I’d neglected and refused to learn Tetra Master up to that point, I pretty much hit a roadblock and could not progress. Thanks a lot! Thanks a fucking lot. I really liked this FF. The soft limits on class specialization, with the way weapons conferred different skills to different party members, but everyone could use pretty much anything, the soundtrack, the characters; a lot of it was great. Ditto about the story tho, wasn’t paying attention ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

fhe first 5 minutes of FFIV on the NDS.

almost 50 hours into Bravely Default, but put it down because the storybeats were just too inconsistently delivered, the grinding, though greatly alleviated with some QoL features, was still a huge grind, and something about the game just... never clicked.

taking a glancing look at copy of FFX/X-2 HD and putting the thing down because I have commitment issues.  

the first 15 minutes of FF Type-0 HD.

and whoa, before I forget, Steam says I have 13.2 hours in FF13. So there’s that. Great music though! Paradigm Shifting is cool in theory too, I guess. But this game is just awful. And now I want to go back and play it. Why do I do this?

All in all a very poor showing from me. FFXV was, comparatively speaking, way easier to dig in. “A Final Fantasy for fans and first-timers” they say. Well, I’m not sure if I fall into either of those camps. I guess I am a fan? Sorta? I couldn’t tell you about the lore, plot or characters of many of the games, but I do own one of these. And I used to listen non-stop to shitty low-bitrate .mp3s of Nobuo Uematsu’s soundtracks on my Walkman. And I had wallpapers of Rinoa and Yuna, and still own a really embarrassing FF8 wallscroll that was gifted to me?

So! As a casual fan then, I found this one... pretty good. I mean, there’s elements of every past Final Fantasy in its DNA. It feels like a Final Fantasy game, which is to say it feels like the ones which came after 12, which did the most to change up the ATB/turn based combat, and perhaps the composition/interaction of the characters, outside of maybe Tactics or 11. 

There’s so much to like here that I’m willing to forgive its shortcomings and missed potential, even if, by the end, the things it gets right is in equal measure to the things it misses the mark on or flat out lacks. It has so much charm and warmth that I’m willing to forgive Square’s misguided reach for critical mass market appeal what with its numerous marketing tie-ins and cross-promotions, or its divvying up of exposition to tie-in films and DLC. At least it gave us that ridiculous Cup Noodle quest line. At least it gave us that. I’m even willing to forgive Chapter 13, and I didn’t even play Verse 2.

I’ve not followed the game at all, so its understandable the ones who clamoured for something like Versus XIII would be a bit irked. All those amazing tech demos and trailers they’ve released over the years? I understand the pain, but ya’ll only have yourself to blame for buying into the pre-release footage. 

Yes, the Insomnia chapter was wholly underwhelming. Yes the pacing is weirdly rushed after you’ve hit Altissia onwards and becomes hyper linear. Yes Lestallum and Altissia are in general hilariously undercooked, non-interactive, tiny and I haven’t encountered something this disappointing since maybe hitting Markarth in Skyrim, where the magic of Skyrim’s first 50 hours really started to wear thin. We’ve truly hit a point where graphics tech has outpaced the ability and feasibility to render more organic, more reactive and believable AI simulation in towns and cities. Maybe all this increased fidelity strikes a dissonance with how we think worlds should be populated and behave? I don’t know. Witcher 3 looks incredible though, and perhaps that’s the game that shows you can have your cake and eat it too. Meaty, meaningful content that isn’t just throwaway Hunt quests, or helping some asshole with his car troubles for the umpteenth time. I’m of the opinion that all sidequests in RPGs devolve into kill or fetch quests, and the rare exception requires you to talk your way to success or solve some kind of puzzle and mechanically speaking there isn’t a whole lot you can do. So, that’s where good writing comes in. Fallout New Vegas, if I recall had fantastic writing in this regard. More recently NieR Automata had really rudimentary sidequests that were carried along with quirky written snippets that expanded upon the world. Then there’s the Witcher games and to a lesser extent the Yakuza series that construct entire stories around side content. Yes FFXV’s sidequests are... uniformly underwhelming. They’re all more or less MMO-like filler content for the sake of inflating the completion time and giving you some kind of incentive for exploring the world. And yes, Luna and Noct’s relationship is hilariously undercooked; she does her Aerith moment and it’s tits up from that point on. It’s a shame you can’t be with Iris though the game teases this; Aranea only shows up to do her thing and disappears; Cor straight up disappears; Gentiana does her thing and disappears, etc. People just disappear, for no apparent reason other than selling you DLC, or they didn’t know what to do with these characters because they are plot movers, nothing more. Sigh.

But you know what? It’s been awhile since I’ve played something like the first half of the game so yeah, sure, whatever. Throw on a podcast and go about overleveling past the main campaign. Go ahead and throw on that FF13 soundtrack and go pick up nutmeg (such a great soundtrack). 

Speaking of which, I loved the music. I might even call it majestic. I loved oddball world design of mashing what seems to be not-Southwestern & not-Pacific Northwestern USA with not-Venice, briefly not-Rivendell (Tenebrae?) & not-Tokyo. I loved playing grab ass with my boys after camping out in the mornings. I loved Ignis being the mom friend and the my headcanon where the guys store all their cooking and crafting ingredients in the same astral plane where Noctis keeps his weapons. I loved the photography feature and Prompto’s arc. I fucking loved fishing more than I thought would. I loved that there’d always be some kind of incidental dialogue when you’d go exploring or take up a quest. I loved that Bahamut had a creepy human face. I loved how dangerous and crappy the Reglia Type-F is to handle. I loved that Gladio would give Noct shit, even undeservedly at times. I loved that Regis and his crew went on a similar journey all those years ago. I loved that there’d be super high level mobs just chilling in the overworld and that level scaling isn’t a thing, but there would still be things that could one-shot you. I can appreciate a game that helps me with completing its campaign, even if it does so kind of forcibly, since open worlds tend to induce some kind of completion anxiety in me. Will you please go and fucking fight Ardyn already? 

About that fighting: I like it? I briefly tried Kingdom Hearts on 3DS and it was... It was not great. But I like the automation in this that allows for just enough player input where positioning and timing is more important than anything else. It’s not very strategic, and you don’t have much in the way of tactical forethought, but it looks cool! Props to Square’s animation team for blending all of it together into a somewhat coherent whole. It’s mostly flash, with just enough engagement to not be a entirely mindless affair. 

I think at the end of the day we all have some kind of preconception of what we wanted FFXV to be, and we were all left somewhat disappointed that it didn’t turn out to be that figment of our fancy. But it exists, its more than playable, there’s a lot to do and soak in and those post-credits scenes with Noct and the lads, and Noct and Luna with the photo you chose were enough to wash away the cynicism and disappointment. 

It feels like, with the completion of the Episode Ignis campaign and the successful rebirth of A Realm Reborn, Square might finally close the chapter on 13/Versus 13/15 and do things a bit better and more efficiently. Or maybe we’ll be subjected to a mobile hell and more games in 15′s mould, the latter of which wouldn’t be the worst thing? I keep saying it but I never follow through with going back to play the older mainline FF games. Now’s the time! Maybe.

[fleurdelissaswords-blog]

Tupeck the Rapping Parrot’s ThugLife Bible Study #6: IT’S EASTER Y'ALL!!!“ (The Easter Story, Attempt #5) More in our Conversations with Talking Parrots Series.

We’re watching The Jesus Strand: A Search for DNA this Easter Sunday on the History Channel. We look forward to all of the awesome religious shows and docs on Easter weekend each year. Studying history and theology and science is a passion of mine I share with my feathered and furry family members as well… and it always makes for some funny content as I attempt to get my ThugBirdie Tupeck to get some religion. The talks after leave everyone hysterical.

This show aims at finding the true DNA of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and that of his family to help science and religion come together to finally bury the friggin hatchet. Can’t we all just get along? I happen to be a fan of both. It is my feeling that if God created the universe and all of this, and us, the more we understand it, the more we understand how perfect God’s plan really was. We are just observing the principals of this perfect world and explaining it in scientific terms that humans understand better.

Many of our readers and fans know that living with a parrot who wants to be the world’s first rapping parrot, and being talked into managing his career by the bird himself, is a challenge. Birds are typically NOT an easy type of pet! There exotic animals with exotic diets. Food items are often the stuffs of our conversations with the birds to help them learn to identify and request different food types. In fact Tupeck’s first original song was about how he had blueberries and Greek yogurt for breakfast. Lol. So we included the original artwork for the show, as well as a cute drawing of foods from Jesus’ time we found online here: http://gssroom9.blogspot.com/2014/03/re-jesus-strand.html… we get really into these birdie Bible lessons, but our birds are super smart! So join us on this Easter Birdie Bible Lesson! They’ve already requested the next Bible lesson being about the Last Supper. Lol. 😂🙈

I’m the mom and the manager of a parrot who wants to rap. Lol. And for years Tupeck parrot begged and I kindly said "hells nah! Not happening… you’re a bird!” But years later I realized he was really talented and loved music and hip hop, and that it was therapeutic for him in a way… and I’ve also just given up trying to get the ThugLife out of him. It’s just who he is. And in this family we accept each other for who they are. But my influence over the years has helped make his musical tastes a lot more diverse and he’s calmed down a lot. Yay patience! Lol. And Praise the Lord! 😜✊🏽🙏🏽 #LoveWins

Many of you also know that every Easter we have this weird family tradition of trying to give Tupeck a bible lesson and see if he will finally accept Jesus. In previous years he decided that since “Tupac was coming back too” and cuz he can rap on top of that, that Tupac held the top position in Tupeck’s heart when it comes to any religion. Lol. It was his very first Easter Sunday lesson after we got him that he said that. That’s how smart he is. He had already drawn a comparison between what Jesus did and Tupac’s life. Meaning he understood abstract human concepts more than the average bird! His vocabulary is also quite large… a lot of it we cannot repeat here and he knows he is not allowed to say and we don’t encourage it. But that’s how hard birds are. Imagine trying to have a family dinner while a bird raps and discusses his biz plan for becoming the next rap superstar?… and your mother is there. Get the idea?!

So for our yearly Easter Birdie Bible Study Lesson, I decide to taker a more scientific genetic route to explaining this to Tupeck. Maybe that would help? One can hope… so this ThugLife Bible Study Lesson is for Easter 2017! And our new attempt at getting Tupeck born again. We often use analogies that may not make sense to the common Christian, to explain things in terms a thug celebirdie can comprehend. It may be unorthodox, but we hope it’s slowly working. He didn’t like the audio bible we tried a while back. So yay for being innovative to get thru to inner city birds. Lol. We hope it doesn’t offend anyone… cuz tbh that’s Tupeck’s job as much as we try to keep him from doing so. He is bound to offend someone’s sensibilities… we were fans of anything ThugLife before this bird came into our lives either. Everything I know about hip hop I’ve learned from my parrot. Lol.

Let our ThugLife Bible Study Lesson begin…

Me: “Do you know why this religious documentary show is groundbreaking?”

Tupeck: “Absolutely!” 😚 (but I can tell he has no clue)

Me: “I’ll give u a hint: it’s possibly groundbreaking for television, history, and religious studies!” E Tupeck: “And Tupac!” 😜✊🏽

We all laugh. 🙈

Me: ok kiddo, and Tupac… of course. Now, on this show, they’re trying to find Jesus’ family of priest kings from the Davidic line using any dna they can track down to test.“

Tupeck: weird confused look. 😳

Me: "yeah part of the big deal about Jesus was he was from the line of David, therefore a priest king… this was back when they preached while they also kinged and stuff!” (The Messiah concept)

Tupeck: “YEAH?!” (Now he gets it! We’re taking about a VERY important person! We now have his attention… he is really only interested in celebrities.)

Me: “Yes… it was a different time.”

Tupeck: “Tupac was a priest king… and a talker!”

Me: 😂😂😂🙈"Yes Tupac was a good talker. Preachers were very good at talking! It’s what they did.“

Me: "If Jesus was alive today, what do you think he would say?”

Tupeck: “he’d be talking!” 🤗(thank you Captain Obvious! Lol)

Me: “yes cuz preaching is very similar to talking, except, they talk about God… and paying more attention to your bible studies!”

Tupeck: *beatboxes* cuz all Bible studies require beatboxing. And all good talkers in his opinion, should know how to beatbox. 🙈 Crap, is this lesson going downhill already? Ok time for a new strategy!

Me: “well if you were to make a song for Jesus, what would it be? Let’s make a song for Jesus… cuz that’s totally a thang.”

Tupeck: *thinks for a min, then lays down a few beats for mood* “Ooooh, baby I looove yoooou!!!” 😚

Me: 😂👍🏽 “I consider this a success, even though it’s basically your epic love ballad you intend to record on your first demo…”

We all sing a few more repeats of this one line… cuz the song so far only has or needs this one important line. Tupeck is proud. I’m just proud he finally made a Christian-ish song of some sort after 6 years of trying to get some religion into him.

Me: “have I told you about the story of the loaves and fishes?… you like bread!”

Tupeck: listens intently… cuz indeed he does love bread. Lol “Yeah yeah!” (Said in a Beavis and Butthead voice)

Me: “now back in Jesus time, there were crowds at his shows too… they called them ‘the multitudes!’”

Tupeck: “ok.” 😯

Me: “I know you think only rap stars have crowds, but Jesus drew big crowds too! Once thousands had come to hear him talk, like people went to hear Tupac talk, and at the end they realized the multitudes were hungry, but they didn’t have enough food to feed everyone who’d traveled a long way to hear Jesus talk.”

Tupeck: 😱 (this is indeed a problem)

Me: “here, watch this scene from YouTube about this… Jesus did something really cool to make sure everyone had food!”

Link: https://youtu.be/GolUi2yu7nA (I show Tupeck this clip cuz if it’s on YouTube, in his head, it’s true! He’s the biggest YouTube addict. Lol. We had to set some limits and Parrontal Controls cuz it became a problem.)

Me: “that day Jesus did something REALLY COOL. Cuz he believed in taking care of his peeps. He only had a couple loaves of bread and few fishies. But Jesus was the Fisher King, so he gave thanks to God and blessed the fishies and 💥 BAM! 💥 Food for everyone appeared and everyone was happy!”

Tupeck: “woah!”

Me to myself: “this is actually finally working… he seems interested in learning about Jesus! HUZZAH!!! It’s a miracle!!!” *gives thanks to God* 🙏🏽

Me: “remember when Pac hosted all of those picnics in the park for the gang kids in California, and brought in Snoop Dog and other artists, and told the kids they’d keep hosting those events as long as people all got along… and the ThugLife code was born from those events trying to bring inner city kids together without hurting each other.”

Tupeck: 😱 *Gasp!* (he has found another thing in common between Jesus and Tupac… which of course was my brilliant idea! *high fives self!*

Me: “kinda is a lot like how Jesus talked to the crowds and fed them afterward cuz he cared about his people and mankind. Tupac did too!”

Tupeck: *beatboxes more excited about this idea*

Me: “what if Tupac could have been one of these living decendants of Jesus like this show is trying to solve? They seem to have a lot in common. Tupac did a lot of the same stuff Jesus did to try to teach and help people. It was just a different time and different problems in the world. Cuz they both wanted to help the world.”

Lil Homie, Tupeck’s number one crew member and fellow flock member who isn’t famous and doesn’t wanna be, has been listening intently and chimes in here to tell us he likes this idea of people (and creatures) taking care of each other. Awe. 🤗 He may have some big questions about how Tupeck has been running his crew of homies (aka: flock) after this lesson. Lol. 🙈

Me: “on this show, they’re trying to track down blood and bones that may have belonged to Jesus to do sciencing tests to see who the rest of his family is and find out more about Jesus… pretty cool huh! Cuz there’s a lot we don’t know about this guy yet he is the biggest most important historical figure of all time according to many humans. He was either the Messiah, or a gifted Prophet, or a loving teacher of men.”

Me: “Tupeck?… 😳… Tupeck?!… hey, why are u preening during our Easter Sunday bible lesson? It’s time to listen and learn.”

Tupeck: “meh” 😒

Me: “welp, I had him for a moment!… it’s better than Easter sermons of years past… YAY PROGRESS!!!… and for once no talk of Llamas in God’s plan!” 😜✊🏽 (cuz we all know Llamas were either a glitch in evolution or God’s biggest mistake, depending on which you subscribe to. Llamas are an obsolete model. But this is the source of ongoing arguments between myself and a Tupeck parrot. *See our series on this blog: “The Ongoing Llama Feud between FleurDeLissa and Tupeck Parrot.”)

And Look for Tupeck the Rapping Parrot’s Gospel-Inspired song soon on a digital media site near you! 🎼🎤🎧 (Yeah, Tupeck made me say that plug.)

Overall we liked the show. I really enjoyed learning about the reliquaries they were using and their history. They discussed the link between John the Baptist as a cousin of Jesus too, which I really loved and have always thought myself. Just ask Da Vinci! He knew.

They showed a lot of historical sites from the Bible stories too, like the place where Jesus fed the multitudes as told in this story, and where he walked on water… tbh i woulda done the SAME thing the guy did on the show upon seeing it! I’d love to go to those holy sites someday myself.

So be sure to check it out on History Channel Easter Sunday (& in sure they’ll rerun it and have dvd’s of the show to add to my growing collection of religious historical documentaries!)

It was really good and I like how they traveled to different locations of where real reliquaries have been kept to show more context for the story that is sure to continue to evolve, as scientists and universities do more DNA tests on remains of people from biblical times found. I like how they retold some of the stories and how excited one of the guys was to be seeing these historic places. At times his buddy was just like 😳?? And he was all 😱😜✊🏽!!! Lol. although tbh my personal feeling was that Jesus walked on water cuz he was smart and new sharks and beasties live in the oceans. So when Tupeck asked about that, I calmly referred to the atrocious campy horror about bullsharks killing peeps at the beach playing on Scy-Fy at the same time. It seemed to work for now, but maybe our next ThugLife Bible Study will be about that biblical story.

Submit your ideas of which bible stories we should teach Tupeck the Rapping Parrot next, below in the comments or on my Twitter! And be sure to check out my archives for the rest in the Tupeck's ThugLife Bible Study series to find out what Tupeck the Rapping Parrot thinks about Judas, and other notable biblical figures! I promise they're all funny and will make you laugh. And check out my other TV show and movie reviews and recaps! Don't forget to follow me here as well to stay updated on what Tupeck parrot is doing next... and yes the Latin-inspired collaboration album for charity with the llama factions is still in the works! Whodathunk this bird could actually find a famous llama on twitter to connect with... then he drafted the ThugAnimal code when he heard there was a war going on between the Llama and Troll factions... whom he also found on twitter... cuz Twitter. 🙈 And Tupeck sends all of his loyal fans a big huge air kisses and a "Keep Your Beak Up!"... cuz #ThatsMyBoy. Lol.

For more info on this documentary, click here: http://www.history.com/specials/the-jesus-strand-a-search-for-dna

© 2017, Fleurdelissaswords, Tupeck the Rapping Parrot (yeah he demanded rights to all content about him in our “contract negotiations.” 😂🙈 Lol) Sharing is Caring so pass this blog on! Share it with your animal loving and Jesus loving friends!… and yeah even those annoying ThugLife friends. Lol. 😉😘❤

-Keep Your Beak Up!- is copyrighted and trademarked… cuz “dang contract negotiations with parrots!” 😱

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