#0 conditional

[trolledu]

If hippos can run faster than humans on land and swim faster than humans in water, the bicycle is the only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

How about a cyclist on an electric bike?

[trolledu]

Bieber Base

[che-rrys-stuff]

Thinking about the parallels between Majima's relationship with Makoto in Y0 and with Kiryu in Pirate Yakuza, from a narrative standpoint to a mere visual one :

Majima not being able to stay put and "do nothing" while his loved ones, Kiryu and Makoto in this case, are suffering, to the point of becoming borderline suicidal (as he thinks, because of his poor self esteem, no one will miss him anyways, but Kiryu and Makoto ? They're far better people than him, of course they deserve to live more than he does), making the decision of endangering his own life for even the smallest chance of being helpful, to be able to do something meaningful for them.

Majima's decision to stay away from Makoto to guarantee she will have a normal life, and the subsequent birth of the mad dog as a way to not only regain control from his past traumas, but to also put a shield, a barrier, in front of his emotions. Not wanting to face them, just doing whatever he thinks would be right for Makoto in that case. Mostly due to self loathing (he isn't 'worthy' of someone like her, and will never give her the life she deserves), and because he feels like he could never truly let go of the Yakuza lifestyle.

How could he with a constant reminder of his poor life choices directly engraved on his face ?

All of this is mirrored in the last scene of pirate Yakuza 'the beginning and the end are one and the same', but Majima decides to break the circle : he lost his mad dog persona along with the representation of it, his snakeskin jacket, when he almost drowned back in Hawaii. He 'shed' the old skin, the mask, away and in the final scene decided to, possibly never, put it on again. Even if in a subtle way, he grows from the man who couldn't think of anything but to hide his emotions by walking away from Makoto, to someone who matured and is finally able to confront them.

He decided to give up on the love he had for Makoto for her own sake, but couldn't bring himself to do the same for Kiryu.

His love language is sacrificing himself for others/put their well-being and happiness first. Even if it's one sided, even if it's painful, he does not stop genuinely wanting the other person's happiness.

[kitsuneisi]

I think I got another tummy ache

[trolledu]

I worked as a teenager but not in fast food, rather as a waiter at a restaurant and it wasn't all that bad at all!

In fact, I have fond memories of most of the other jobs I did, like packing groceries and working at a movie rentals spot. There were some elements of all this work that made things dreary, but for the most part I am grateful to have had pocket money as a kid.

Hard labour is of course a completely different subject.

Hot take ig but kids in high school shouldn't have to work either. They should be spending their evenings doing homework and extra-curriculars and fucking around.

There definitely shouldn't be entire industries reliant on their low-wage labor. Why are there many kids being scheduled for a 6 hour shift after a 7 hour school day when they've got learning and their future and their childhood to worry about?

Any industry built on poverty wage child labor should perish, and that's most fast food and grocery and retail so I guess the economy's tanked 🤷. Should've thought about that before deciding to make the essential work into jobs for children and the underclass.

[adelphenium]

got our pojo back ✨

[ensigntii]

CRIES IN NO VCR THAT CAN PLAY JAPANESE TAPES AND NO STORAGE SPACE

(Anyone want to lend me the €350 + shipping and import taxes for them anyways? /j)

Yoinked from this listing on Neokyo

[raikirikiri]

missing-nin kakashi who leaves the village on his own accord. he’s pushed to the edge, and despite all the anbu missions he’s taken to get himself killed, it just doesn’t work. so he leaves and becomes a mercenary and thinks he might have some luck dying that way. he thinks part of him is still loyal to konoha but it doesn’t feel like home anymore. plus the constant needling of his ex-classmates insisting their his friends when he knows he doesn’t deserve friends, he barely deserves comrades.

so he leaves. and he does the jobs he takes well and yes, he’s still hoping he dies but he’s too good at being a shinobi so he keeps living. no matter how accidental.

he has a good fortune by the start of canon time but id like to believe he lives in a cave with a ratty futon and a few shabby changes of clothes. he lives an extremely solitary life but he’s…healed. a little. he’s never forgiven himself, he probably never will, but he’s made some sort of peace with himself and his actions.

meanwhile. the akatsuki is forming. itachi, kisame, sasori, kakazu, pain, konan, zetsu, obito (still in the shadows). almost the whole crew is there, they just need to round out their numbers a little. and who better to approach than missing-nin copy ninja kakashi? pain brings it up first one rainy day in ame. obito, or madara, is meeting with pain, konan, and zetsu and pain brings up kakashi first.

obito chokes out a no, barely hanging onto his madara act. no, he denies vehemently. the mean thought enrages something in him and the thought of having to see kakashi’s beautiful ugly mug more than he already does (because yes, he may be a missing-nin but obito wouldn’t be a stalker if he couldn’t find his prey over and over again) is brain melting and heart stopping in a very very negative way.

of course pain has to ask why, madara has never had such a visceral reaction to suggestion for a recruit.

his pants around his ankles, obito has to scramble for an excuse and it’s a little more elegant than “he’s not evil enough”. obito shuts the conversation down then and there, deciding to come back to it at a later date when he can be prepared for his ex-teammate’s name to be brought up again.

for the next three years, any time they’re low on numbers, kakashi’s name comes up and obito always struggles to react normally and his answer is always some iteration of “he’s not evil enough”. so hidan comes up with the brilliant idea to force him to be evil, similar to how they forced deidara to join the akatsuki.

obito, failing to come up with counter arguments and running out of excuses, concedes. pain, during their monthly meetings where tobi is madara, is pleased. he suggests sending itachi to fetch him, since they were once anbu together and seeing a familiar face may help. obito vetoes this and decides he’ll go get kakashi himself. he’s, of course, seen how being away from the village has affected him. and while he’s entirely competent, he’s almost too competent. and doesn’t do well with surprises.

without further preamble, he kamuis into kakashi’s cave, startling him and causing him to spill his soup everywhere. now, kakashi is very much attack first, talk second at this point in his life. having been away from society for so long has allowed his hatake genes to really take over and he’s become much more uhhh instinct driven.

so once he gets over his initial shock and his initial reaction of ‘kill kill kill’, he freezes. he’s always had a sharp sense of smell but it’s on a different level now and there’s something familiar about this strange ghost man. for someone so ghoulish, he has a scent and it lights a lamp in kakashi’s subconscious.

‘i know you’ kakashi accuses, a snarl rising in his throat. this ghoul man is in his cave, his private space, he wants answers.

‘do you?’ a deep voice asks, sounding surprised and amused.

kakashi weighs his options of arguing with ghost guy or figuring out why the hell ghost guy just…appeared in his cave.

‘i’m here to take you to join the akatsuki’ ghoul man decides for him. kakashi grunts and picks up his overturn bowl.

‘no thanks’ he states, scooping some soup from the pot into his bowl.

‘it’s not an invitation’ the apparition snaps and kakashi pauses. he sniffs towards ghost guy again but he still can’t place the scent to the man.

‘can you please leave? i’m trying to eat my dinner and well…’ kakashi asks (but of course it’s more of demand), pointedly gesturing to his mask.

‘what? no. you’re coming with me,” obito growls, his eye twitching in irritation. after all these years, all his suffering, all he’s learned and how much he’s grown…bakakashi still gets under his fucking skin.

‘i don’t want to’ kakashi pouts, petulance and amusement in his tone.

‘you don’t get a choice’ obito hisses in madara’s voice. it sounds wrong and entirely too much like obito.

‘maa, what do i get out of it?’ hatake drawls, a glint in his eye that tells obito hes enjoying this far too much.

‘nothing. you get nothing except me letting you continue to live your sorry life’ obito snaps back, unable to stop the heat of annoyance racing up his spine.

‘how do you know my life is sorry?’ kakashi taunts loftily, crossing his arms and lifting his nose to the ceiling.

‘for the love of sage’ obito takes kakashi by the arm and warps them into kamui, uncaring if kakashi recognizes the jutsu or not. he just wants him to shut up. he should kill pain for making him do this. he would kill hidan but that fucker can’t fucking die.

‘hey i recognize that foot’ kakashi mutters to himself, eye squinted at the severed foot he warped into the dimension months ago. huh. that’s where the things he disappears go. interesting.

hey wait—

‘i know that look’ obito bites out, letting his facade drop. stupid fucking genius asshole.

kakashi gasps, eyes watering in disbelief. ‘don’t—don’t fucking do that. get it together already. you’re about to meet a bunch of fuckin’ s-ranked missing-nins, you can’t be crying’

obito’s voice is a little awkward this soft, but he’s sincere. he doesn’t know how or why he’s sincere, he hates kakashi. he thinks. he’s not too sure but he hasn’t been…soft…in years. but the sight of kakashi, broken and worn down, has something in him melting just a little.

‘you fucking dickhead’ kakashi croaks, shoving obito’s shoulder. ‘you fucking— fucking asshole! you were dead! you bastard, how could you not come back? how could you not tell me?’

kakashi’s voice is hard and cracking at the edges. it throws obito off entirely. his mouth opens and closes like a limp fish behind tobi’s mask, trying to find the words he should say.

after a few moments of kakashi’s hardened stare, obito finds himself feeling indignant. ‘i never thought you’d care’ he sneers. a lie.

‘you’re not that fucking good at lying still and i’m not dense. you’ve been stalking me. at least since i left the village’ kakashi accuses with a scoff.

‘i run a terrorist organization!’ obito shoots back hotly. ‘excuse me for thinking duty-driven kakashi wouldn’t take his dead sunshine-happy teammate becoming an s-rank criminal well!’ he seethes, finding he isn’t all that angry. this feels familiar.

‘oh please. i’d follow you till the end of the fucking earth’ kakashi spits before his eyes widen in shock, much like obito’s eye does. kakashi drops his full bowl of soup on the floor of kamui and covers his mouth with both hands.

obito makes a noise in the back of his throat, ‘don’t—‘ and then he’s ripping his mask off and pulling kakashi’s hands away from his face and tugging him close. lips to mask, he doesn’t care, he kisses kakashi fervently.

he tastes kakashi through the clothe of his mask, moaning at the way kakashi moans against him, the way kakashi’s fingers find themselves in obito’s hair. when they finally pull away, obito manages a please smile, cheeks bright red and pupil blown, ‘don’t follow me. walk with me.’

kakashi rolls his eyes and pulls him in for another kiss. ‘told you i knew you’ he whispers against obito’s lips, before nuzzling his face into obito’s neck, scenting him, marking him.

———

AHEM ANYWAY:

i think kakashi’s hair would be grown out, similar to how obito’s hair was during cave life with old ass madara. his already long canines would grow, and he’d be super in touch with nature. i think he’d be able to communicate with animals similar to how juugo is. basically, once away from the village and society, he becomes a lot more hatake-ish. just. kakashi growling and snarling snurfing at any akatsuki member that isn’t obito. or itachi. he’ll accept kisame eventually too, but that’s it. everyone else he does not talk to, only growls at.

[trolledu]

[sunlight-shunlight]

i think in my particular interpretation, my lavellan is an evasive, self-reliant type of person who doesn't trust others very easily, and does not believe in love as a concept really existing or being applicable to her. so she's kind of ???!?!! about solas, and despite caring for him deeply, is not really able to verbalize her feelings to solas at any point during dai, and so she never actually tells him that she loves him. and after crestwood is just like "wow. i was right to be very solitary for years. this heartfelt stuff SUCKS. love is fake, and you should never get emotionally compromised and too attached to any one person :/" and tries to speedrun her way through rebuilding the impenetrable layer of Ironic Detachment™️ that she had before.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[dreaminginstasis]

my lumbar spine results can only be explained as ‘you’re not totally fucked… yet’

[podcastenthusiast]

TIL my horse has fucking cruise control pretty much?! I know this is explained by the horse tutorial at the start but I was panicking then.

[guckies]

It’s always Bolas forever until one guy is a cop… 😔

[ridragon]

i really dont get celcius. you start at 0 which is when water freezes, which does make sense! but then you go up by 20 degrees and it's SIGNIFICANTLY more hot. 40 shouldnt be unbearably hot. that's not even halfway to 100. it's stupid. why are the increments like that!!!!!! why is there such a temperature gap between 10 and 20!!!!!!!!!!!

[ti2guhr]

They should invent a migraine that doesn't Do That